Requip message boards

Chapter 1: the event
It was the fall of my intern year as I bean my off service trauma rotation. This month was ubiquitously notorious for being the most labor intrusive and least productive rotaion of our emergency medicine program. Knowing this I entered with the intention of simply surviving the month.
Another intern and I let’s call them A for sake of ambiguity, we’re the first emergency medicine residents to roste on the trauma services that year. A shaky start would be an understatement. In the words of chance the raper “like my grama with the Parkinson’s playing operation.” Would better describe it. Medically we did well. We were very competent and completed our work daily, but communication and coordination was non existent. Our Cheifs had informed us that Tuesday was our day of and the Trauma cheif residents had minimum communication with us, or our Cheifs as it seams when A and I did not report on Tuesday they sternly made their dissatisfaction known.
I have struggled with insomnia sense the age of 10. Had 2 sleep studies by this point in my life and been prescribed nearly every sleeping aid on the market. The 80-94 hr work weeks of our trauma rotaion only worsened my insomnia. My lack of sleep likely contributed to a less than prime adaptive immune system and 2 days out of my trauma rotaion I contracted strep like symptoms with associated nausea, requiring me to call for a sick day the next day. No the first day that I felt too ill to work. I was not fully aware of the reporting process. I reported to my Chiefs, but I did not believe I could come to work tomorrow with amble time and notice, however I was somewhat delayed in letting their Cheifs know, because the surgical chiefs rotated every few days and I did not know who my was going to be the next day. The second day which I had to call out sick I was able to locate the cheif for the next day and reprot according to our university’s protocol, which requires that if a resident feels they are not fit for work they must not come in and the university must have staff coverage without any fear or implementation of punitive actions.
I had finally survived to the last week of my trauma rotaion and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. What I could not see was the pile of stress, shitty diet, lack of mental well ness and sleep deprivation which I was pushing down to reach the light. By this time I had seen a psychiatrist regularly for sleep medication. I had mentioned to him that I had been experiencing more stressed lately and feel that I might be depressed. he reassured me that it was likely only due to my circumstances, given the difficulty of the trauma rotation and wish to reassess once the rotation was over. Looking back I had to fill the habit of drinking more than I usually do. My only on nights before I have days off became 1-2 beers every other night. All of this repressed unhealthy shit finally pushed bad on September 23rd. That night I was at work even later than usual, I stayed up later than usual and couldn’t seem to fall asleep. With the stress of only having minimal sleep and knowing I only had 2 more days of trauma left, I took an extra dose of my sleeping medication.
I opened my eyes to the fighting sight of sun beaming in my window and I instantly knew I was late. (Sense I hadn’t seen the sun in a month) . Due to my need for scrupulous sleep hygiene I have been sleeping with my phone of and away for me. I rushed to grab it and watched as the little Apple logo seamed to glow on the screen for an eternity. Then in conjunction with its fading I saw 3 missed calls from my director, a text from college A and 2 missed calls from the surgical director. Still, I was able to calm myself, knowing that resident A had been late to this rotation by a few hours 2 other days and nothing came of it. I called my director back and he asked me to report to his office where I was greeted by my director, my coordinator and another emergency medicine facility.
With the only explanation of: “we just want you to get better”, I was handed a letter, to my relief it did not entail my termination, but a declaration of administrative leave and a requirement to undergo an evaluation at a well known university in Florida.
Lake any other savvy millennial, I did my research. By research I mean numerous google searches and screeches thru the depts of redit. To my dismay I discovered that in order for a residency program to fire you, they must first initiate an administrative suspension. I would soon find out however, being terminated would have been a delightful outcome compared to what ensued.
I spend the next few weeks in the wallos of regret and depression. I indulged in higher qualities of alchohol then I ever have before. I all but ceased communing with peers, and abruptly stoped any physical activity I had once enjoyed. Frightened as I was I was ensured, it will be ok “we just want you to get better”
Chapter 2 The evaluation : guilty until proven innocent I did exactly as instructed and scheduled an evaluation, I supposed that this was either a mental evaluation to assess if I’m fit for work with plans of termination or it actually was an evaluation to better treat my insomnia. To this day I regret my ignorance, and wish I had researched the process more. The Hindi / sand-skrt idea of Hamsa 🪬 is that in order to do any good you must have full knowledge or else good intentions can result in harm. I truely believe my director had good intentions, however but him and I did not have full knowledge of the nature of this evaluation.
Looking back see how easily I could have avoided my troubles by asserting legal aid at this point or even by researching this evaluation process more in depth. If one searches impaired practitioner program which I now know this evaluator works for, the search entire will populate 5 or 6 layferms along side their home website and there is a valid reason for this.
If one every finds themself in this process I employ you to bring a DSM to your evaluation or at least be familiar with the most common use disorders in the DSM-5, because your evaluation will turn into a dance of questions where the evaluator attempts to trap you in a round about way to stating something that may qualify for one of the diagnosis. I have provided an image from the DSM-5 below outlining AUD, which the evaluator concluded that I had the most severe from:
Image
Example***** Here are 10 examples of how he fraudulently assessed me taken directly from his assessment note.

1. Evaluator: Have you ever stoped drinking in the last year.

Me: yes I stoped every week day, I was only drinking on the weekends, until two weeks ago.
-Evaluator uses stoping and starting every week to qualify for 2 or more unsuccessful attempts to stop in the last year “There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use.”

1. Evaluator Have you ever had withdrawal symptoms

Me no
Evaluator Well Have you ever had a hangover? You know that’s a from of acute withdrawal
Me: yes in college, I had a few but that was years ago and I’m pretty sure the pathophysiology is different.
Evaluator uses this to count for withdrawal symptoms even tho is was more than a year ago

1. Evaluator: Have you even taken your sleeping medication on a day or night which you drank? Me: Yes, I took my prescriptions are prescribed but I never drank close to bed

Evaluator: qualified this as dangerous behavior with alcohol (where the DSM gives examples such as unprotected sex and drunk driving). The sleeping medication I was on is not a benzodiazepine therefore it is not deadly with alcohol. I personally have seen many patients in the ED who have taken their entire bottle of the medication and drank copious amounts, we just monitor them over night and rehydrate them

1. Evaluator Has anyone told you you drink to much or been worried about you Me: No I drink much less than my friends

Evaluator what about your girlfriend? Me: well she actually doesn’t drink at all she doesn’t like it. She often buys me beer for The Weeknd’s tho. One time we went to a movie and she got a little irritated because I waited for beer then complained about them not having any craft beer. So she said, “you couldn’t have just said no” and drank something else. However, she apologized after and said it’s worth waiting if it’s my only day off.
Evaluator said this qualifies for continued drinking despite causing significant relation consequences, ie divorce.

1. Evaluator : you have sleep issues I hear, and your chart says you’ve had depression in the past, don’t you know that alcohol can effect your sleep and mood Me: yes that’s why I never drink within 3 hours of sleep.

Evaluator but you knew this and still drank
Evaluator: qualifies for drinking despite unwanted physical or psychological effects (this should be recurring to effects the alcohol is causing, I have had insomnia sense the age of 10 long before I took my first sip)
7 evaluator you were late for work and told my you had a drink the day before
Me: Yes but I was late because I didn’t sleep and took double my sleeping meds, I will never do that again
Qualifies for 2 significant work or school issues in the past year ( a therapist and other psychologist ensured me that being late on or a few days doesn’t count they typically are getting fired or failing) ( moreover, this would assume I was late do to drinking it’s self and also assume if happened more than once)

1. • Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended

He never once asked anything related to this question yet said I qualified in his final report 9. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain alcohol, use alcohol, or recover from its effects. The evaluators logic here was sense I was late for work and I had 2 beers the day before I must be taking long to recover from it (this is assuming I missed due to alcohol)

1. Tolerance drinking more to require the same effect: this he checked as true in his final note however it was never even discussed in our evaluation. I did mention to him that I’ve been drinking more than I had earlier in the year frequency wise, but they said nothing to do with quantity or needing more.
   
2. Wanting to drink so bad you can not think of anything else: this is the only qualification of SAUD my evaluator said I did not have.
   

Moreover, without legal help I was not aware that I could obtain a second evaluation or even oppose going to get evaluated at all, but that wouldn’t have mattered seeing I still thought this was for my health and wellbeing as seen when I was asked why do you think you are here to today, to which I replayed “so that I can be evaluated to see what is needed to get back to work”.
To maks the ordeal more infuriating the evaluator continues to ingratiate himself and lie through the process telling you, “it will be fine as long as you are 100% honest”, “anything you say in here is between you and me” or “you slipped up once with your meds, I know your residnecy program they will probably just want a few more out patient tests”
Two weeks later I received a phone call right before I left for an out of state vacation to visit my nice for her birthday. During the call I was informed that I would be required to complete a partial hospitalization program (PHP) lasting “6-10 weeks” which would coast from 15-50 grand not including doctor visits or housing which is billed separately. I suppressed this inconvenience, enjoyed my vocation and reported when I returned, knowing that I must complete this soon so I may return to work with due to the fact that my payed time off would soon be diminished. At this time I had not yet heard of the organization PRN.
Chapter 3 Guilty till proven innocent: The diagnosis
Shell shocked I arrived to a in patient psychiatric unit and was rapidly cleared to progress to treatment without detoxification. During my 90 day of forced rehabilitation I met a few other individuals who were unjustly and fraudulently forced into treatment. I began to look up to one of these such members of the men’s community, who I will refer to as patient X for ambiguity sake.
Unlike me patient X did have alcohol use disorder. He spent many clinic days drinking to avoid alcoholic withdraws. The curious component of his story is that he admitted his depravity, saught help and through his own journey became sober. The bodies at be, namely his local physician, Health monitoring program, rejected his personal path to sobriety and forced him to undergo 90 days of in patient treatment before he could practice medicine again. When he checked in to rehab he had been sober for over a year.
Ask for Stories of people from online
As for me I spend many sleepless nights pondering how consuming a legal substance in a moderate amount could throw me into significant legal financial issues. My labs my toxicology, my story and my collateral from colleagues from colleagues all indicated light to moderate alcohol use but my evaluators word stood as the word of God.
More frightening was the director of this rehabs acknowledgment of this. The director who happens to also coincidentally be the evaluator, stated to me as well as to staff on multiple occasions: “ I suggest inpatient treatment for everyone who is reported”. “This is safer for me not to miss anyone who could harm patients, and I figure there must be a reason someone reported them.”
I am still elucidating the reason why I was determined guilty and proven innocent, however I can say from my 90 day stent that the majority of the patients at this rehab needed to be there. This program is saving lives of both providers and patients, however it is destroying the lives of those wrongfully accused.
Chapter 4 your lisense rehab or jail : Upon arivil I was sent to a detox hospital underwent a medical examination and was “one of the lucky ones” who required no detoxification and could report directly to PHP. Like everyone else, I spent 90 days in a PHP, being as 6-10 weeks is simply a lie they tell patients to decrease the change of resisting the treatment. When discussing the topic one therapist sated “if we told patients 90 days they would never come.” She then attempted to justify the treatment by outlining the story of a patient she had called who “didn’t make it to treatment” and killed themselves”. It is my belief that it is not the lack of PHP which impelled such professionals to take their life, but them realizing that they now will be obliged to undergo 90 days of PHP, 5 years of PRN monitoring with a loss of autonomy and hundreds of thousands of dollars taken from them that induced their hopelessness. For even if these professionals were truly mentally unstable in their addictions, in every case it was only following a phone call where they were informed they must undergo treatment that they took their life’s. By this time I still haven’t the slightest clue what PRN was.
Despite the security these programs provide for many my 6 main issues with them can be summarized in : 1. Kick backs: evaluators are directors of treatment clinics 2. The reported are guilty till proven innocent 3. The price, the overflow of money these places drag in from both patients and state universities is appalling, they charge separately for every visit and test 4. Although they make the claim that they are individualized, they are anything but. Every patient gets the same stay and treatment from the doctor drunk on the job and the one who was late to a shift 5. They force voluntary treatment. remember that friendly evaluator who promised he had your best interest at heart, so you opened up and told him everything about your substance use/ developmental / family history, well if you don’t stay for 90 days he will be “normally obliged” to tip the board of medical off to you.

1. The programs have overstepped their intended jurisdiction. -these programs work well if they function how they were intended at their inception. Cite original purpose. Originally these programs were designed to protect physicians and civilians from impaired practitioners; being healthcare workers who were impaired at work. Over the years, these organizations have extended their authority to encompass individuals with substance use disorders When not at work and also those who are in training to become healthcare professionals. Take for example myself compared to a physician who is impaired at work. A doctor who arrived for duty under the influence would surely benifit from the extensive testing, therapy and accountability enforced via these programs. In accordance the 20,000$ per year cost is appropriate when only making up roughly 7% of their yearly salary vs nearly half of a residents. In my case with my loss of income from employment, coast of treatment and monitoring, this year I will be required to pay 20,000$ to work. Yes, I will be losing money to work. Even if did indeed have a substance use disorder this level of monitoring wouldn’t not be considered appropriate.

Dispite all of the miscomings of this System My time spend in PHP was indeed helpful, as I believe it would be for anyone. Time for exercise, a reprieve from work and weekly counseling. A sample structure of my day to day schedule is provided below for insight:
Structure The general structure of these rehabitation centers is as follows: 1. One week of orientation phase, where you are not allowed in electronics or contact with the outside world world. Therefore, if you’re going, bring some things you would like to read or study. 2. In phase 2, you can use your phone however you cannot leave campus. You must stay in the dorm on campus. These shitty 1 room run down apartments with two other roommates will cost you about $1000 a week, they are required for at least four weeks and they are billed separately, no insurance will help you out here. 3. In phase 3 you can commute to campus if you beg your therapist and live very close. Whether you’re on campus or living off-campus, you are allowed to leave up to four hours per day. If you commute, you’ll be required to take a sober link decide you must Breath, alcohol test into every 6 hours. Like everything else in this program you must pay for this separately, a few hundred dollars a week. You advanced to other phases by completing assignments, however, assignments are limited by required built-in time, intrusive, scheduling, and reviewing. Therefore, if you do everything as rapidly as possible phase 1 will take one week phase 2 will take three weeks.
Every day schedule:
7:30: wake up, report to the front desk to inform them that you haven’t ran away yet and take and prescribed medications. They keep all your medications and require that you report to take them; for me this was antidepressants in an attempt to dispel the depression I contracted from being forced into treatment and whatever off label medication they were attempting to treat my ADHD with, since control medications were forbidden.
8 am: community group assessments This consisted of other patients presenting their assignments amongst the large group, on the weekends this was often an hour later and 12 study regularly took the place of assignment presentation.
10 am: process group. This was a two hour group therapy session with 6 to 12 other professionals in a therapist and training or occasionally a licensed mental health therapist.
1 pm: recreation This was generally about an hour of some sober themed craft or activity. Once a week this time slot was used for yoga.
2 pm: this was another time slot used for patients to present assignments as well as for individual therapy sessions. Each patient had one individual therapy session lasting 30 minutes per week.
3pm: This was time allotted to work on assignments or go to the gym on your sex specific scheduled gym day.
5pm: this time was used for guest speakers or another 12 step study group.
6 pm : this was generally an off-campus 12 step group
10 pm: report to the front desk and let them know you still haven’t ran away and take and Medication which are prescribed to take at night, then return to your cot bed in your room with 1-2 other roommates.
I found the community to be one of the most beneficial aspects of the PHP program. I was in a cohort of chill ass professionals of the same occupation who were always there to help each other.
Assignments The curriculum of the PHP consisted of assignment based on every step of the 12th step program. Generally, a patient would be required to complete an assignment on their own, review it with other patients, then faculty and finally present the assignment in front of the whole treatment group. You’re only given one assignment at a time and there are multiple steps to each which all requires scheduling this ensures that no matter how determined a patient is a full 90 days of treatment is required to complete all the assignments.
AA structure -the obsolete nature of AA has been verified in numbers studies, but I will refrain from divulging here and lend that endeavor to Dr. Lance Dodes very thorough discussion on the subject,in “the sober truth “
In all sincerity, if I truely did have a severe use disorder this experience could have been life saving. I only wish I could have used my 50 grand for someone who has spent their life time In addictive without reprieve. My first conversation when I was given my phone back was how I wish my father could be able to attend this PHP.
Chapter 5 reporting and PRN Self reporting What they ask you What you should tell them
There’s a third-party agency called professional resource network. Every state has their own. This agency works as a liaison between you and whatever credentialing service your occupation requires. Essentially they ensure your monitoring after treatment. Stake governments and licensing boards trust them, mainly because they monitor with the highest level of intrusiveness. This alleviates much work for state governments and licensing boards because once an individual is being monitored by a professional resource network, then they are deemed appropriate for duty and no further investigation/litigation needs to occur, as long as the monitored individual completely complies.
Because I was never impaired at work I was never reported to this agency. The general workflow of things someone would report you to professional resource network, then the resource network would contact you, and then you would be required to report for an evaluation at a treatment center, which would inevitably result in a suggestion I’ve treatment at that given treatment center. In my case I was sent to the treatment center without PRN being involved. Thus, two weeks into treatment. I was notified by my therapist that I needed to call PRN and self report. I attempted to resistance given that I did not have a problem and was not individually seeking help. I asked what happened if I didn’t self report. I was told that in order to stay in the treatment program I had to report to PRN. This meant either I report to PRN or I get kicked out of the treatment program and lose my job.
When you report to PRN they will ask you why you are in treatment. They will then list off every substance imaginable, asking you if you have ever tried the substance and when your last use was. Ultimately, they will obtain your discharge information from your treatment center, so it is in your best interest to report only what was found in your biochemical testing. If it wasn’t in your hair, I would argue that you don’t have a use disorder regarding that substance and it’s not relevant. I don’t believe it’s important for them to know that you smoked weed when you were 12.
Chapter 6 The contract:
Before being discharged from a treatment facility, a professional resource network will have you sign a contract. A little known fact which I was oblivious to is that contracts can be negotiated. Though this isn’t it possible, it is highly improbable that you can negotiate your contract since PRN has a power to delay your clearance to return to work.
Contractor almost never personalized, and I have not heard of a contract which is not a five-year agreement. You will sign releases of information so that PRN has access to all of your information which was gathered at the treatment facility. You must have a therapist, psychiatrist, primary care, doctor, and a addiction, medicine psychiatrist. You assign releases of information for all of them. You will be required To commit to: 1. three mutual aid meetings a week which you must log. I log smart recovery meetings. 2. Weekly therapy sessions with an approved mental health therapist from their list 3. Monthly doctors appointments with an addiction medicine psychiatrist 4. Yearly appointments with a primary care physician 5. Monthly appointments with a psychiatrist 6. Daily check-ins on a random drug testing app ( you will agree to weekly urine tests, a peth test 4 times a year, a hair test twice a year and a little caveat that says anything else they deem, clinically reasonable) 7. Quarterly update reports which you are required to obtain from a workplace monitor, therapist, addiction, medicine, psychiatrist, primary care physician and any other doctor you are seeing. 8. You must upload all of your prescriptions into a mobile application every single time you get them refilled and are not allowed to take them until they are approved. 9. Attendance of a PRN group via zoom. This is a local group you are assigned along with other monitored practitioners. There is a fee of roughly 130$ a month to attend this required group. For me all of these requirements coast around 20,000 a year. If you ever have a positive test even if it is the result of contamination from rubbing alcohol or unintentional ingestion of alcohol/ allergy medication your contract will rest to 5 years from the time of positive test. Once your five year contract is completed, you must ask to be released from monitoring. At that point they will search for any reason to keep you under monitoring. This could be dilute urines, daily check ins or a week where you did not attend mutual aid meetings. Every certification and license which you apply for will likely ask you if you were under a monitoring program/ have been treated for substance use. You must give an explanation and check yes. As far as licensing programs are concerned, if you were under the monitoring of PRN, you are safe, however they group practitioners who have had behavioral issues with practitioners who were diverting drugs from work. Therefore, keep in mind that you will be labeled as a sever addict.
7 Back to work and only work. During treatment your only goal is to return to work, however when you return your experience will be drastically distinct from what you remember. For me, I was now working in isolation. Missing six months of my training meant that no other Resident was on the same rotation as me. My coworkers at all formed friend groups. When I returned I was greeted with much concern for my well being. No one would speak to be about my absence, however everyone knew there is only one reason a resident would leave for 6 months then return. My Accdeemic meetings were consisting of attending telling me “I have a target on my back now” and “ I have to preform even better than others” in the light of my time missed. If this wasn’t alienating enough, the majority of Resident events, sponsored by recruiters and my university revolved around alcohol to which I had to give some excuse to why I can not partake with others. I’m fortunate that I do not have an addiction, because these stressful conditions along with the daunting amount of dead and requirements imposed by PRN are enough to make any addict relapse. While I was at treatment, I was in the dative with Samyr stories a physicians whose addictions got the best of them. Physicians who did not make it to treatment, often taking their own life. These stories were presented as a warning. Your addictions will kill you without our treatment was the message. When, in reality I did not hear one story in which the addiction killed physician. Every physician who didn’t make it to treatment took their life after being told they must report to a treatment facility. Perhaps they knew what this entailed and it was not their addiction or getting caught which caused them to end their lives, but the unmanageable and often unreasonable burden that treatment would put on their lives.
9 How to escape So your fucked your in PRN and should be or you should and now your recovered and want to terminated your contract.

1. You ask to be released early done at 1/2 time ( good luck)
2. You have “good reason” (no one has ever been let out of contract because of this reason, the verbiage is far too vague)
3. You serve all your time and they let you out(maybe, as discussed earlier, they would do everything they can to keep you in your contract as long as your practicing)
4. You can’t practice medicine anymore

10 Layer up butter cup : I cannot emphasize the extent to which legal help is required in this process. You much seek it and seek it early. Lawyers can provide many avenues to you early in the process. Once you have committed to treatment, gone for evaluation or are in a PRN contract , this is very little that you or legal help can do. Spend a few thousand dollars when you are accused and save the 20-30,000 later.
After you have been evaluated if you disagree as I did, then this is the process you must undergo. 1. Hire a occupation, defense, lawyer 2. Prove you don’t have an addiction, this is done by having an alternative evaluator with similar credentials state that either you don’t have an addiction or that PRN’s level of monitoring is not medically appropriate ( this will need to be a multi day neuropsychological evaluation, which will cost about $5000). 3. Your lawyer must draft in writing that the medical level of monitoring is not required such as another medical professional and send this to PRN 4. PRN will tattle on you to the board of medicine. 5. The board of medicine will conduct an investigation. 6. At the end or when they believe they have enough reasonable evidence to the board of medicine will suspend your license or claim, you must comply with the PRN contract to practice. 7. At this time your lawyer will defend you in the state court against the board. This is costly but much less than the coast of a 5 year PRN contract 8. If you win you will likely suggest an alternative level of care such as gonna get therapy every week. If you lose, than you wasted a fuck ton of money and are still bound by your PRN contract.
Overall this entire process has coast me Over all coast:
My finances for this year only including PRN and rent are as follows:
120-200$ every week for testing 480-800/ month
65 every week for therapy 195/month
125 every month for PRN group
About 50-69 every month for 2 doctor apts
So at least 745$/month at the lowest
Treatment at the recovery center coast 20,000 for me out of pocket and
I wasn’t payed for 6 months with no FMLA because I am a first year. At the 1 year mark I will have made 26,000 this year after taxes And payed About 29,000 on PRN alone
Rent is 1,000 so that’s 12,000 a year
Just in rent and PRN alone I will be at 26,000- 41,600 -15,600.
I will be in debt by at least 18,000 at the 1 year mark
Coast of treatment center 20,000 (with insurance) For each year of PRN roughly 20,000 Add that to 6 months of attending salary which was delayed due to my treatment time: at least 150,000 Layer coasts along with other evaluations 25,000 Missing 6 months of residency pay 30,000 Coast of 1 year in monitoring: 245,000 Coast of 5 years 325,000
If my case progress to a trail I will require an extra 20,000 in court coasts
Chapter 11 My secondary eval: Dr sushi After I arrived at my treatment center I challenge my evaluation multiple times. Each and every time I was discharged and often accused of alternate mental health/ substance abuse issues to discourage my advances. I was never given the opportunity to undergo alternative assessment, however PRN guidelines state that you can obtain a second option within 7 days of your first. This is a mute point, however, because you will not receive the results of your evaluation until over a week after it is conducted and the second evaluation must be conducted by another PRN hired evaluator of their choosing. During my stay in rehab I contacted PRN multiple times to attempt another evaluation/ legal help. They warned against both stating they were a “waste of money” and “pointless”.
After completing my treatment with the guidance of many addiction, experienced physicians, mental health counselors and psychiatrists recommendations I sought in a secondary evaluation. I chose a highly qualified professional with over 30 years of experience to conduct an extensive neuo psycho social evaluation of me. One that I was sure would be more extensive than the evaluation I received at treatment and more importantly an unbiased evaluation.
The results from my evaluation not only showed that I did not have a substance abuse problem warranting PRN level monitoring, but also that PRN was falling to allow adequate treatment of other conditions such as my ADHD. My evaluation showed my ADHD was not only untreated by PRNs attempt at using non controlled medication, but also in the top 3% most severe presentations of ADHD. My evaluator went on to explain my results by questioning why my treatment center even mandated I undergo neuro cognitive evaluation. The only neurodiverse findings were my IQ, my dyslexia and my ADHD. However, a neuo cognitive examination can be billed separately by treatment centers, therefore they always recommend one.
Chapter 12 Amongst its greed, intrusive nature and faulty accusations, professional recourse network function highly proficiently at the task they were designed to; protective physicians and patients from physicians who are impaired at work. In this domain they save lives, offer second changes and protect the public. When they act beyond their intended jurisdiction by imposing unnecessary monetary demands on practitionersin training, accuse practitioners without proof or act on behavior exemplified outside of a work setting they unjustly and inappropriately attack the week and innocent.
Proposed reform: As a trainee my universities malpractice insurance covers me for mistakes made at work. If a learner mistakenly harms a patient, then the university stands on their behalf. If the learner does something wrong under a teachers direct guidance, then the teacher is at fault. This makes sense logically as well as pragmatically. The state entrusts large amounts of money to hospital systems and universities to train resident physicians. A portion of this money is allocated to malpractice insurance. This should extend to accused impairment.
Suppose a training university was required to cover rehabilitation and monitoring of a resident of whom they claim is impaired. Alternatively they have the option of firing the trainee. This would reduce the number of innocent trainees being accused of impairment, make the process of rehabilitation more fair and provide a better use for tax payer derived dollars, which hospital systems are given to train residents. The truly impaired could still seek help, less false accusations would be made and with the employers having the ability to fire at the moment of impairment, there would be less chance of impairment at work.

Hey everyone, I'm on the hunt for some awesome online friends to chat with and help break up the monotony of my days at home. Whether you're into deep conversations, sharing funny memes, gaming, or just need someone to talk to, I'd love to connect!
A little about my interests
Reading: I absolutely love diving into fiction, especially fantasy and romance novels. Always looking for new book recommendations!
Board Games: Big fan of games like Ticket to Ride. If you're into board games, let's compare favorites or even play online.
Arts and Crafts: I enjoy making various arts and crafts projects like polymer clay arts and folding origami.
Sewing and Crocheting: I sew plushies from scratch and love crocheting. If you're into DIY projects, I'd love to exchange ideas and tips.
I'm pretty open-minded and enjoy learning about different perspectives and experiences. If you think we might click, shoot me a message!

Most of the time he’s a really friendly supportive person. We been friends a long time. Our families are close. We’re roommates now.
Other times he is not a nice person. I’m convinced it’s just how he’s wired. I feel that he feels superior to myself and others. Which self confidence is cool and all but not if it means you’re looking down on others. Either that or he’s actually insecure and is taking it out on us.
Ex-military. Very ego driven, wakes up early, works out a lot. Has very strong opinions. Most of the time he’s “right”. He’s that type of person.
I am the complete opposite so naturally sometimes our personalities clash and it usually ends with him beating me in a conversation/argument. I’m wayyy too nice. A blessing and a curse. I usually don’t let things like this bother me but I can’t help but feel like he pushes me around a bit.
He’s really hard to argue with. He will always win. He won’t back down. I’m convinced he will ruin a friendship if it means he wins the conversation. Thankfully it’s never gotten to that point simply because I never care enough to keep arguing or I just submit. Which in hindsight probably fuels his ego.
He’ll speak to me sometimes in a really condescending, patronizing way, like he’s a leader, not a friend. The other day I put a cutting board in the dishwasher, not knowing it should probably just be hand washed and dried and he goes “No no. No we don’t do that” with a high pitch in his inflection. “No no. No we don’t do that. This is how we do it”
What? Do you think you’re talking to a little kid? Why are you talking down to me like that? There are other, much more respectful ways to get that message across. This is just one example of him talking to me that way. He’s always correcting me. Which I’m fine with btw, I make mistakes. Just please don’t use a condescending tone. It’s like his way of telling me he thinks I’m stupid without actually saying it.
I really want to tell him to stop but I don’t know how to talk to him about that without it pissing him off. I just want to tell him “hey, don’t talk to me like that… it makes me feel like shit about myself especially when it’s coming from my best friend.”
And then he’ll clap back with something along the lines of “oh sensitive? It’s okay to be sensitive”
Y’know. He’ll clap back. He will always clap back. And he’s quick witted so that also sucks for me. He’s quick with the response. He’s got that trust fund, finance guy asshole vibe to him when he really gets going.
I just don’t know how to have this conversation with him without it ending poorly.
I just want to tell him that sometimes he can be a not so nice person. I really like the nice side of him. But man his mean side really sucks and it’s starting to ware me down.
TLDR: Quick-witted, ex military, ego filled friend talks to me in a condescending, patronizing way from time to time and I want to tell him I don’t like it without pissing him off.

Most of the time he’s a really friendly supportive person. We been friends a long time. Our families are close.
Other times he is not a nice person. I’m convinced it’s just how he’s wired. I feel that he feels superior to myself and my roommate. Which self confidence is cool and all but not if it means you’re looking down on others.
Ex-military. Very ego driven, wakes up early, works out a lot. Has very strong opinions. Most of the time he’s “right”. He’s that type of person.
I am the complete opposite so naturally sometimes our personalities clash and it usually ends with him beating me in a conversation/argument. I’m wayyy too nice. A blessing and a curse. I usually don’t let things like this bother me but I can’t help but feel like he pushes me around a bit.
He’s hard to argue with. He will always win. He won’t back down. I’m convinced he will ruin a friendship if it means he wins the conversation. Thankfully it’s never gotten to that point simply because I never care enough to keep arguing or I just submit. Which in hindsight probably fuels his ego.
He’ll speak to me sometimes in a really condescending, patronizing way. Likes he my drill sergeant or something. The other day I put a cutting board in the dishwasher, not knowing it should probably just be hand dried and he goes “No no. No we don’t do that” with a high pitch in his inflection.
What? Do you think you’re talking to a little kid? Why are you talking down to me like that? There are other, much more respectful ways to get that message across. This is just one example of him talking to me that way. He’s always correcting me. Which I’m fine with btw, I make mistakes. Just please don’t use a condescending tone. It’s like his way of telling me he thinks I’m stupid without actually saying it.
I really want to just tell him to stop but I don’t know how to talk to him about that without it pissing him off. I just want to tell him “hey, don’t talk to me like that… it makes me feel like shit about myself especially when it’s coming from my best friend.”
And then he’ll clap back with something along the lines of “oh sensitive? It’s okay to be sensitive”
Y’know. He’ll clap back. He will always clap back. And he’s quick witted so that also sucks for me. He’s quick with the response. He’s got that trust fund, finance guy asshole vibe to him when he really gets going.
I just don’t know how to have this conversation with him without it ending poorly.
I just want to tell him that sometimes he can be a not so nice person. I really like the nice side of him. But man his mean side really sucks and it’s starting to ware me down.
TLDR: Quick-witted, ex military, ego filled friend talks to me in a condescending, patronizing way from time to time and I want to tell him I don’t like it without pissing him off.

What the title reads basically. I(29M) and my ex-fiancee(29F) were together for 5 years. We should have been married now in the normal conditions but I broke up with her and cancelled the wedding 2 days before it because they invited male strippers to bachelorette party. I am personally not a fan of these parties but reluctantly agreed after both groom & bride side confirmed we would keep it simple. I told my ex-fiancee I am not comfortable with strippers or other kind of crazy things. She agreed. I also told my friends if they were to do a stupid thing without me knowing, we would have problems.
We stayed at my friends' summer house and chilled there by the pool, did some wow raids and played board games. My ex-fiancee and her friends went to a restaurant then rented an airbnb. There was no problem during the night and next day I asked how things went. She and her close friends said it was really chill and good. We returned to the city centre after that. I encountered another bridesmaid that day when I was shopping for a bracelet for my ex-fiancee for her upcoming birthday. I asked that girl how's everything as we were in the same department at the college but rarely talk now. She is closer with my fiancee than me. She said it's going good and last night was crazy with all the strippers. After saying that she looked uncomfortable. I asked her about the details but she was not willing to tell much. I think she realized she should not have talked about it. I laughed, said goodbye and left.
I confronted my fiancee and she seemed surprised about it. She was denying it first, then told me nothing crazy happened and one of the bridesmaids invited strippers. I reminded her that it was a strict boundary for me. I asked about the details but she said there was nothing much with strippers just solo dances and that's it. I told her I need some time to think. Almost all of the bridesmaids messaged me ensuring nothing happened when I was on my way back home(definitely not coordinated). Things happened after that but in the end I decided to break up and cancel the wedding. I lost some money since it was only 2 days before the wedding. Things are not cool right now. My head is messed up, I get criticism from everyone and no idea about what to do. My sister told me to see a therapist to process my thoughts and feelings. That is what I'll do next. Some mutuals suggested me that I should reconsider things and stop being so whiny about such a small thing. I do not think it's such a small thing especially when they all tried to hide it from me.
AITAH here?

I booked a flight for myself, my wife, and my infant daughter a few months ago. We paid for the “economy” fare class to allow us to select seats (39A and 39B - I have the confirmation email to prove it), so we could guarantee sitting next to each other, to, you know, care for our infant daughter together and provide a moderately comfortable nursing experience for my wife on a 5 hour flight. After booking, I noticed on united.com that for both my wife and me, our first and middle names were combined and listed as our first names. Concerned that this meant the names on our boarding passes wouldn’t match the names on our IDs, I called customer support. After quite a bit of effort explaining the situation, a customer service rep insisted that he’d updated our names in their system, even though nothing looked fixed on the website to me. Fine, I gave up, moved on.
This afternoon, I started to check in to our flight and discovered that we no longer had seat assignments, and that there were no more available selectable seats, and that our seats would be assigned before boarding. After talking to a customer service rep and escalating to a manager, it came to light that the “name change” I’d attempted (and that may or may not have done anything) had wiped out our seat selections. The rep who “fixed” our names months ago, of course, made zero mention of this “policy”. I got no email or message from United explaining that a benign, tiny update to my reservation meant forfeiting the seat selections we’d paid considerably more to make. And so now, we’re heading to the airport tomorrow, hoping that a gate agent is able to work some magic and get us seated together. At this moment, this feels like a baffling, deeply frustrating policy/systemic failure that will keep me far away from United flights in the future, but hopefully someone reads this and can save themselves from this problem!
Tl;dr if you make any updates to a United reservation, especially to your name, carefully follow up on the status of any seat selections you’ve paid for, cuz they may have been counter-intuitively canceled by your update.

I've posted on here a lot before, met a few good people. Most don't last, some have longer than others. I admit it's largely my fault many times, I struggle with making and keeping friends. I'll say now, I greatly struggle with closeness. When I get close I feel things and my brain decides that means it's time to go insane. I have depression, anxiety, and other things undiagnosed but likely: PTSD, autism, general abandonment and rejection issues. For my own mental health I respond to few messages, if you've messaged in the past I welcome you to again and apologize for not responding before.
With that out of the way, hi. I'm John. Male, 24 from the US, New Hampshire specifically. Pansexual, and recently realized I may be aromantic. Fair warning I don't really separate romantic vs platonic love so if anything becomes uncomfortable let me know.
For hobbies I'm mostly pretty basic. I game on PC, mostly slow paced games. Slay the Spire, Stardew Valley, board games on Tabletop Sim and such. I also enjoy visual novels, especially some with strategy elements. Can't mention by name here but that fact probably hints as to what they are. I love watching movies with people, and shows. Mainly horror since that's my favorite genre but I find anything fun with others. Anime is fun too, and manga sometimes. Not too into them yet so haven't seen much. I have a tarot deck that I don't know how to use, when I was younger those and Wicca fascinated me but stepping into them myself was too overwhelming.
I'm a very very open person for better or worse. If you're sensitive to topics I'll avoid them of course. I know it's asking a lot after saying I respond to very few messages but please say something about yourself if you do message. I may come across as boring or uncaring at first at times, I partially shut down when speaking to new people and struggle a lot to ask questions.
Just some extra stuff :)
I have a chihuahua and used to have pomeranians. I'm not big on voice calls, especially if we aren't playing a game together. I don't mind sharing a photo.
Possible TW: I recently relapsed on self harm so it may come up.
I'm open to anyone 18+. I'm LGBTQ+ friendly of course.

Hello, fellow boarders!
So, my trusty Exway Flex has now, unfortunately, begun to malfunction.
I have 4,500 kilometers on it, and I had the battery changed at 3,000 kilometers.
But now, after my most recent charge, my board won't start. The power button lights up normally for about five seconds until it turns to a solid light for three seconds and then goes black.
My remote gives an error message that reads: "INCORRECT MOTOR ON THE APP."
I've managed to connect very quickly with Bluetooth to see the settings, and the correct settings are applied. I've even managed to change to Riot Drive and back to Hub Drive, but nothing works.
So, I thought that maybe my ESC was fried, so I tried switching it to my friend's ESC, as he owns a Flex as well.
It didn't help. The board still blinks up the same way as it did before the swap.
This is a real bummer because summer is coming, and I don't have the money for a new board at the moment.
Has anyone else had the same issues, and does anyone know what could be wrong?
Peace ✌️

What's up all! 4th Wall here! I finally have power returned to my home, and can play a little catch up! This one's a heavy hitter, No NSFW needed (I hope) but if you've got kids, be warned.
First, Previous, Next
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
A bright flash of blues and whites spat a greyish black object into normal space a mere one hundred Clicks from physical asteroid cloud that provided a natural barrier into the Lurix system. USN Olyvia’s drives instantly flared to life, and she made for the outer edges of the asteroid field with a purposeful stride. The senior Crew was at hand, having alternated shifts so they were well rested for this endeavor. Captain Correllus Grarzia shifted in his chair slightly, watching with interest as his star helmsman switched from his standard control configuration to a more “analog” twin joystick and pedals. ‘The kid really should be piloting a fighter’ he mused just as the young lad turned to look at him. “Ready, skipper”

“Take us in. All ahead slow.” Cory ordered calmly, before keying up the ship wide broadcasting channel. “This is the captain. We’ve just entered the Lurix system. Rig for silent running. I repeat, rig for silent running.” All across the ship, nonessential systems were shut down; their lack of electronic signature aiding the stealth coating on the bulky former troop transport. In engineering. Patrick, Cammy, and the rest of their section powered down a large portion of the larger systems onboard.

Life support was set to emergency backup, with old school oxygen candles lit in special housings that allowed their life-giving emissions to be circulated throughout the ship. Each major section of the vessel had their own supplies of these low-tech solutions, and Olyvia carried enough of these candles to survive for several days without functioning life support if needed.

Only a few were lit this time, using them as an augmentation to allow for minimal use of their perfectly functioning life support systems; and Cammy returned from the compartment just in time to aid in shutting down two thirds of Olyvia’s fusion reactors. This was not usually part of the silent running protocol, but Cory had added it for this mission. While they knew where their target would be, they still knew very little about what defenses awaited them inside the system.

Patrick keyed up the mic, “Engineering reporting in, silent running.”

*acknowledged* came a voice back. And Patrick leaned back in his chair just as Cammy arrived. “Well, that’s that.” He sighed.

Cammy stepped behind his chair, rubbing his shoulders for a second, “candles are lit. Two per section. At this rate we won’t run out for a year.”

Patrick chuckled, standing before looking over at his team, “sandwiches are in the mess hall. Half go now, half after. We’ll wait and go with second shift.” The team nodded and soon. The room was half as full. “Hurry up, and wait” Patrick mused, and turned to the rest. “Hold’em anyone?”

Over the next several days, shifts were kept short with a high rotation frequency. Olyvia picked her way through the natural minefield created by a destroyed world, slipping between the dead planetary shards with deadly caution. She ran quiet, with all but minimal deflectors shut down, and a single detuned laser online on each of her flanks as a last resort against impacts. Cory, Jesse, Patrick, and Cammy met regularly to keep tabs on the ship’s progress. The admiral’s transmission had reached them in time, and the four of them, plus Jacky when she could pry herself from the infirmary, worked to formulate a plan to get into the freighter without killing everyone. They had Hera and Jacobs reports, but those reports also admitted to a certain degree of incredible luck on their part. Things could have gone very differently, and the murder of the freighter during the admiral’s capture operation hinted at a change in tactics from their foe.

Mackenzie’s Privateers had liberated several freighters since they began operations, keeping to their cover as “pirates” by leaving nothing big enough to betray their secrets behind. A few of the other captains had left pieces of inoperative Unity tech, strategically damaged and jettisoned after the fight, as red herrings to convince both the Vorath, and the Thermians that these “pirates” had somehow gotten ahold of Unity warships.


Cory stepped into the cargo bay to meet Patric and Camorra. They were tinkering, carefully he hoped, with one of Olyvia’s harpoon missiles. It was a project triggered by Cammy’s brilliant, if outlandish, idea. “We know these freighters all ran the same codes, and the same infrastructure in their computer cores. Why can’t we hack it. Human computing should be perfectly capable of it.” Cory remembered her words as he stepped up to the two, “at ease” he waved them away as they threatened to salute him, “how’s out little project coming.”


“See for yourself” Patrick smiled handing him a data pad.

Cory took the offered device, quickly scanning through the data, “All I see is Olyvia’s system logs. Did you give me the wrong one?”

Patric smiled evilly, “that is coming from the missile, we found a common power regulator chip that dam near all Delmar freighters use in their integrated core management. Our mole here mimicked that regulators protocols to get into one we installed in a conduit over there” he pointed to an open panel. “It’s designed to cycle through several common chip sets and protocols to get access.”

“You hacked Olyvia?” Cory asked, eyebrow raised in a combination of amusement and irritation.

“Well, “Cammy said calmly, “we had to test it, and Oly’s the only ship close enough…”

“I see…” Cory mused, “it will have to do, we will be reaching the edge of the field in three days, how many of these can you have ready?”

Patrick scratched the red stubble punctuating his jaw line. “Hmm two, maybe three, including that one.” He winced at his captain’s expression, “took us a minute to get the virus right, sorry.”

Cory sounded to himself like a broken record, “I guess that will have to do as well. I’ll leave it to you.” He turned to return to his office but was interrupted half way there by an urgent request for his presence on the bridge.

Jesse rose to greet him as Cory stepped into Olyvia’s command center, and he nodded towards the ready room off to the side. The two of them quickly stepped inside and Jesse closed the door. “Jesse, what’s this about” Cory asked, settling into his desk chair.

Jesse, his first officer, and battle born brother looked at him seriously, “The first of our stealth probes have made it into the system proper….. It’s not good” He tapped at his data pad before handing it to his captain, “The enemy is doing something big down there, and we don’t know what. What we do know, Is that there are three heavy cruisers in orbit, and three more destroyers in floating patrols around the system.”

Cory scrolled through the pad as his first officer made his report, pausing at the same information on the planet’s surface, “These are military installations. This makes no since. We haven’t had a use for Lurix in millennia. It’s always just been a haven for aquatic and semi aquatic species. Why didn’t our intel warn us of this.”

Jesse nodded grimly, “I don’t know for sure, but I have my suspicions.” He reached over, tapping at the tab to open a particular file Cory had yet to find. “We found these in orbit as well.” He pointed to a pair of Delmar constructed freighters, parked in orbit over the marsh world. “I authorized a single transmission to a single drone, uploading Patrick and Camorra’s hacking program into it, and we sent it to one of those freighters... this is what we found.”

Cory opened the indicated file, and felt bile rise in the back of his throat as he watched. “Ready a tight beam, send it back the way we came, Towards Simo.” Jesse looked at his captain in understanding. The risks of transmitting this close to the enemy was a grave risk. Measured against the information they just witnessed; however, it was an absolute necessity. Jesse took the offered tablet, “The Admirals need to see this…. Both of them.”

————————————————————


Clint Stevens groaned as his communicator beeped from his desk. It was a very early morning on a weekend, and Frie had let Natalie stay at her grandparents for the weekend. He quietly slipped from the entanglements of a profoundly comfortable Delmar goddess he had somehow been gifted with as his wife, and silently cursed the inevitable destruction of his plans. The Com was linked to his computer console, and Clint tapped the file as he sat down.

The file opened, beginning with a grim looking Corellus Grarzia who made an intro statement that froze Clint in his thoughts. Before he could begin to prepare himself, images flooded in that turned grogginess into razors edge consciousness ringing with a white hot fury. Frie was ripped from her slumber instantly, reaching for her biometric pistol safe as a response to the unbridled rage she experienced from her husband. It took her a moment to realize that they were not being attacked, and she rushed from their bed, neglecting even basic decency to be by his side.

The two of them watched the Horrors unfold. Children… small children of multiple different races, stacked in a freighter’s hold like cattle, being thrown food like one would an animal. Massive screens played, promising safety and full bellies should they only but kiss the hand of a severe looking Vorath female. All who had not, were treated to daily ice cold sprays mixed with random beatings. He watched as desperate older siblings attempted to shelter their kin from the abuse, often times paying the ultimate price for their valor.

Clint and Frie were spared a further assault on their senses by a beeping light, indicating an urgent call from Clint’s adopted brother. Frie slipped out of view, reaching for a night gown as a furious Mac, accompanied by an equal parts shocked and livid Lyrian, appeared on screen.


“You’ve seen it” Clint stated. There were no barriers between them, no formalities. Only pure truth.

“I have,” Mac rumbled. “Why is it always kids..”

Clint shook his head, “I can have a battle group there in two weeks. It’s not soon enough, but.”

Mac nodded sharply, “I’m redirecting everyone not on critical missions. Simo and Kid are already there with Olyvia. Wisconsin is enroute. We will await your arrival….. Clint…” Clint’s eyes met Mac’s in a joined promise that reached across time and space.

“No, there won’t.” Clint answered, responding to Mac’s unspoken statement.

___________________________________________________________

A week later, The Chancellor Thomas Durrant of the Sol Federation perused the latest transmissions from Unity space. He was due for reelection this coming fall, and it was a close race. His opponent was labelling him a Warmonger, as he was an outspoken proponent of a more active role in the struggle against the Vorath, and it was working. The points were closing in the polls, and The Chancellor had not come out on top with the latest debate results. Humanity simply was not interested in further conflict. For the first time in human history, the vast majority of the Human race was content with peace.

The Chancellor took a sip of his mug as he opened a file from Admiral Stevens marked priority, but not top secret and promptly spit the contents in his mouth back into the mug. It was a complete file on some kind of intelligence operation, and Durrant almost wondered if it had been sent to him in error. The gruesome cover video dispelled that notion as the leader of Humanity itself watched horrors thought long dead play out in front of him. Several minutes later, he closed the file, and opened a message prompt.


“Viktor, are you up.” He typed.

*Yea, Tom. I’m up, the campaign ain’t gonna run itself into the ground.*

Durrant snorted at the dark humor, “Viktor, I was sent something. It changes… everything” he typed, attaching the cover video, and the longer form surveillance recording he had found inside the file from Clint. Several minutes passed in tense silence before…

*Jesus Christ, Tom.*

Tom Durrant took a long slow breath, “Do you still have your man at The Post.” He paused before sending, knowing what he was asking.

*Yea… yea I do, Tom. Are you sure you want to do this. This has ‘it will blow up in my face’ written all over it.*

“I know, but this bigger than me. Do it, and announce a press conference to follow if The Post runs with it.” Durrant typed and sent the last message, closing down his console. He stood slowly, feeling his age for the first time in recent memory, and walked heavily to bed.

The Post ran with the story. In the next 48 hours, the “leaked” scenes of tortured children, some barely more than infants ripped its way into Humanities Psyche. The revelations of what exactly was going on behind Vorath lines assailed Humanity, spurring many to call for blood, and Others to cry hoax. Around and around the political commentators debated, and redebated the shocking footage.

Chancellor Thomas Durrant followed through on his word, and was now stepping up to the platform and the Microphone as promised. He stood there for a full minute, meeting the eyes of as many of the hundreds of reporters before him as he could. The weight of his expression prompted a flurry of flashes as camera drones captured the image. Durrant allowed all of this to happen, waiting until the din of activity settled into a heavy silence. “People of Humanity… By now, you have undoubtedly seen the shocking pictures from the far side of the galaxy. Many of you believe it to be a hoax, a desperate ploy for political points. Allow me to be clear. This is no hoax, I received these disturbing images directly from Admiral Clint Stevens, who is marshalling the forces at his disposal as we speak. He aims to do something about these orbital concentration camps, and I support his actions with the full backing of my authority as Chancellor of the United Sol Federation.”

Durrant paused, letting the information sink in before continuing, “to answer the question as to whether this is a political ploy for points. Let me be perfectly clear, I alone released the footage from inside those torture ships, and I do not care if you believe it to be a political ploy. If Humanity can see the atrocities committed to the young innocents in those images and refuse to stand up for them; I no longer would wish to lead that Humanity. Yes, we are few compared to what we once were, but we have a strength that cannot be fathomed by those who chose to side with pure evil. Make no mistake, any being that is capable of torturing and murdering children deserves the title.” The Chancellor of United Sol skewered the silent crowd with a withering gaze, “All of you here know that I have been an ardent supporter of taking a more active role against this pure evil, and my opponent has made a great many statements regarding my supposed “warmongering”. I believe that to debate him further on this matter is as wasteful as it would be irrelevant. As such, I am suspending my campaign immediately. Pending permission from donors and the campaign review board, I will be donating the totality of my campaign war-chest to the purchase of relief supplies and construction of rehabilitation facilities for these children.” Durrant paused as a wave of gasps swept through the room as a volley of flashes assaulted his eyes. “Holding the position of leader of the Human race seems so insignificant in comparison,” he said softly, almost to himself before scanning the crowd. “The election is 4 months away. If you wish to reelect me, so be it; but know this.” Thomas Durrant rose to his full height, “If you elect me this fall, know that I will use the full weight of this office to unleash the full might of Humanity upon this evil, or I will resign from my post and travel to Unity space myself.”

With that. Chancellor Thomas Durrant spun on his heals and marched off the stage.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
If you made it this far, Thank You! I hope you enjoyed the episode. If this if your first time seeing this series, I hope you will join us from the beginning. I do have a patreon that has extra content that is not main story arc, but still cannon shorts, as well as exclusive content from some of my other series. If you believe I've earned it, feel free to give it a look; but know that just coming to hang is already enough.
Have a wonderful rest of your day.
First, Previous, Next Patreon

Hello all!
I'm 23F and live on the east coast. Soon to be divorced. I've spent most of my early adult life focusing on my career and neglected making friends, so I'm looking to make online friends again. I like video games, anime, drawing (specifically NSFW art, so I can draw you something if you'd like), and various other things.
I'd prefer to chat with people between 21-30. I work a demanding job and sometimes can take a moment to respond. I'd like to get to know you and if we vibe, I prefer to chat via Discord. I'm open to VC or we can play something. Bonus points if you have a fun disc server I can lurk on when I'm bored.
I'm not looking for anything NSFW, but I don't mind chatting about NSFW topics when it comes to art requests.
Shoot me a message if you'd like to chat or if you're in need of someone to listen to you. I tend to be an online sounding board or safe space for people to use when they need a nonjudgmental person to listen to them. Or I can bully you if that's your thing <3
Hope to hear from you.

Am I the only person experiencing this?
I am moving out of state and have been posting on Facebook marketplace, Craigslist, OfferUp- and I’ll have people ask me if an item is available and then just completely ghost me. Or they’ll say they will meet up and never show. I honestly feel so disheartened and feel like crying :/ it’s such a stressful process and the thing that sucks is I have such good quality stuff, it would just cost way too much to ship it.
I’m going to try here, if anything interests you let me know and I will work out a good deal for you. It only allows me to post so many pictures so if anything interests you ask me and I will send you pictures of it. Good and genuine Vegas locals please come through.
BRAND NEW TV STAND‼️ Still in box, never got a chance to use: Selling for $250 (picture is what it looks like when put together) 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
Outdoor backyard table set with 4 chairs, just got this for 770, selling it for $550- shoot me a message and I’ll give you a better price or send me your best offer. 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
(PRICE LOWERED‼️)✨Cherry wood desk / top quality wood Bought this for around 2000, selling for just $650 but will give you a better price- or send me your best offer. Willing to work with you 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
(PRICE LOWERED‼️) ✨65 inch Sony Bravia $550 + $75 Klipsch subwoofers and speaker: AVAILABLE ⭐️ and we made it a better deal for all of you so someone can enjoy. Must be bought together as a set to get this deal 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
3 piece wood set, living room Table, side table, table holding TV (can also be used for other things like putting pictures flowers etc) $300 for all 3 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
I have 1 great blender available: High, strong, speedy, quiet, works great. $25 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
BRAND NEW ‼️ still in case, never used : Floating shelf home decoration. This is your sign to beautify your home. You can put pictures on there, plants, vases, anything and it gives it more of a home like feel. Selling for $25 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE 🌺
Crystal home decor: $15 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
Food Processor: works great! $15 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
Portable stove: perfect for having shabu shabu, or hot pot, or bbq at home together at the table to enjoy together. Great to enjoy outdoors for parks & camping as well $15 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE 🌺
1Strong sturdy Iron Board used twice $20 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
Tripod can be used small on the table and extends huge up to 75 inches. Has a holder for camera or phone: $20 🌺 CURRENTLY AVAILABLE 🌺
BRAND NEW: YAHTZEE Board game still in wrapper with price tag on it bought for 20, selling for $10 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE 🌺
Tower fan, just got this for 70 bucks, selling for 50 but I’ll give it to you for a better price. Just shoot me a message with your best offer🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
MARBLE BOARD: $20 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE 🌺
5 pound weights : $6 each both for $10 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
Wi-Fi extenders: 45 each or 75 for both 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
Waffle maker: $10 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
Skewer grill brand new still in box, never used : $20 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
ceramic big vase: bought for 70, selling for 30- send me your best offer we will work something out 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE 🌺
Electric hand mixer: works great and makes baking a breeze!! A must for baking $15 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
Super cute weighted soap holder brand new: $5 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
Couch is from Jubilee LV luxury modern couch purchased at 3,150. Selling it for 1000 shoot me a message and I’ll give you a better price or send me your best offer. We work something out. 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE 🌺
lamp: $15 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
Air fryer, used a few times. $20 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
realistic faux plant decoration $10 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE 🌺
This couch is the comfiest couch. It is stuffed with goose feathers so you just melt into the couch. needs to be lightly cleaned (was quoted $50 for a cleaning but I have no time so just selling the couch for super cheap) but this is the most comfortable couch, best naps on it ever! I just got these covers for 120 (they’re removable super easy no worries) lolll but you can have them for free with this couch. Probably should take it off and let the couch shine $200 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
small dresser: Has a little chip on it but nothing too noticeable $10 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE 🌺
(PRICE LOWERED‼️)✨Round table with Tempered glass with 4 chairs and cherry wood stand- this is a 2000 tempered glass table imported from Italy- selling for $600 but shoot me a message and we can work something out or send me your best offer. 🌺CURRENTLY AVAILABLE🌺
okay hear me out I know Christmas is a little ways away but it sneaks up every year and this year you’re going to be like man when that Asian girl was selling the Christmas stuff I should have gotten it for cheap lol ✨pine cone ribbon lamp battery operated: $5 🌺currently available🌺 ✨nutcracker: $5 🌺currently available🌺 ✨gnomes there’s 2 $5 each 🌺currently available🌺 ✨light up wreath: $5 🌺currently available🌺 ✨Christmas table decor: $5 ✨currently available✨ ✨Christmas towel: $2 🌺currently available🌺 Christmas plate/tray: $5 🌺currently available🌺 Or take all the Christmas stuff for $20 total

my account was just deactivated for being too young to use pinterest, even though i'm 18 years old and i'm pretty sure my date of birth is correct. the appeal link in the email said it was expired even though i only got it an hour ago and said i would be sent a new one but i've received nothing, i've checked my spam folder. i'm just so confused and kind of panicked, i have a crochet board of almost 1000 pins all with links to patterns, i don't know what i'd do if i lost it. it honestly looks like some kind of scam it makes so little sense but the email address looks legit and trying to log into my account gives me a message saying it was deactivated. i've sent a message through the help center link i was prompted when trying to log it, but i still just don't understand why this is happening or how they could've made this mistake

Cigarettes and rebellion have always gone hand-in-hand, and in an age of cigarette packet-sized health warnings, now more than ever, smoking a fag says: 'I do not give a fuck.' But if Brandon Flowers is hoping to strike a seditious pose by sparking up at the start of the interview, it's not going according to plan. The Killers' frontman is on all fours rooting through the junk that carpets the anteroom at the band's rehearsal space. "Has anyone seen my lighter?" he asks, rocking back on his heels. The question hangs in the air while Brandon cocks his head, waiting for an answer like a meerkat listening for a predator. Twenty-five years old and with a delicate bone structure, there's something almost dainty about him. Receiving no response, he returns to his search. "Oh, Jeez," he sighs. "I had it just a minute ago."
It's a scene that emphatically does not suggest a rebel without a cause. The mess isn't helping. The Killers' HQ - an industrial unit sandwiched between a construction supplier and the offices of a housing development just off Dean Martin Drive in West Las Vegas - is ankle-deep in designer clothing. A Dior Homme suit lies crumpled by the door; there's a pile of shoes topped like a sundae by a pair of Marc Jacobs trainers; and anyone wishing to enter the shoebox room the band use as an office must negotiate a mountain of discarded jeans. Many items are identifiable as coming from the wardrobe of Hot Fuss, The Killers' hugely successful 2004 debut album - triple platinum in the UK with two weeks at Number One and five million sold worldwide. Look! There are the shirts, ties and suit jackets they wore when they thrilled Glastonbury 2005 with indie rock anthems Mr Brightside and Somebody Told Me. That was the crowning moment of a two-and-a-half year tour that finally concluded in October of last year. It seems that after playing that final date in Miami, they returned to Vegas and shrugged off their image onto the floor of this bland white box.
Now a fine layer of dust covers the dead clothes. The Killers have no further use for white tuxedos on their second album, Sam's Town. Today, Brandon wears a black polo shirt, black pin-stripe waistcoat, black jeans and black boots. Where there used to be a layer of foundation, there is now a beard - an untrimmed beard at that. Dave Keuning (30, guitar), Mark Stoermer (29, bass) and Ronnie Vannucci (29, drums) all echo Brandon's black ensemble. Ronnie has added Aviator shades and a handlebar moustache for a dash of motorcycle cop, Dave's frizzy bubble of hair gives him a Marc Bolan-ish air, and there's something very teenage about Mark's scuffed Vans.
Short of walking around wearing sandwich boards saying, "Our new record is a bit heavier than the last one," The Killers couldn't hope to communicate that message more effectively. And they have gained some musical girth on Sam's Town. The pop hooks that made Hot Fuss so irresistible survive intact - see the ringing guitar riffs on first single When You Were Young - but there's a newfound punchiness, coupled with an epic sweep. The minor-to-major uplifts on Bones are fabulously dramatic, the coda to Why Do I Keep Counting? thrillingly intense. Comparisons to Bruce Springsteen have been made. If they overstate the case a little, they are at leaset qualitatively accurate. The Killers are back and this time it's serious - they've got the bootlace ties to prove it.
"Hey, it says here that Springsteen's headlining Glastonbury next year," shouts Ronnie, who's flicking through the NME. He nods sagely at the page without looking up.
"Really?" asks Dave, nicknamed Crazy Dave on account of his alledgedly volatile nature.
"The Boss is headlining one night, we're playing second on the bill the next night and Kylie's headlining the Sunday," says Brandon, charging like a bull through Michael Eavis' as-yet-unannounced line-up with what subsequently proves to be a characteristic gaucheness.
But that lighter is proving elusive. This being America, none of the people hurrying to-and-fro prepping the world for the release of Sam's Town smokes. Manager Robert Reynolds - Bobby Rey to the band - barks into his mobile, booking his band onto eye-wateringly demanding tours. "We're going to make a lot of money," he cackles to himself before switching calls to make a series of stern pronouncements on legal matters. Dave, Mark and Ronnie disappear for a jam session. Artwork is approved, B-sides are decided on and schedules are hammered out.
"I can't find it," Brandon says, finally. But he's not going to be denied the opportunity to underline The Killers reinvention with a puff of smoke. "Let's go to the gas station. I'll have to buy one. It's too busy to talk here anyway."
+
Brandon's black (of course) Volkswagen Touraeg four-wheel drive is barrelling down West Flamingo Road into town. "I was a bell boy there," he says, pointing out of the driver's window at the stucco facade of the Gold Coast casino. "I was working there when we were signed."
Coming from Las Vegas, it is perhaps inevitable that casinos play a big part in The Killers' story; not only is Sam's Town named after one, it was recorded in one, too.
The band began writing songs while on the road with Hot Fuss, turning up early for soundchecks to run through new ideas. On a trip home to Vegas, George Maloof, a hotelier known for cultivating famous friends, invited them to record the album in the new studio he'd built at The Palms, his flagship hotel-cum-gambling den. When the tour finished in October 2005, they returned to Vegas and spent five month finessing the songs they'd sketched out on the road. Then, in February, they decampled to the third floor studio at The Palms and recorded Sam's Town over 11 weeks.
Producer Flood (U2, Depeche Mode) encouraged them to experiment. They overdubbed, fiddled with synthesizers and played with new equipment. It took them five weeks to get the backing vocals right. The band sang the harmonies, then double-tracked them four times. The end result recalls Queen wondering, "Is this is the real life? Is this just fantasy?" When Ronnie, a trained classical percussionist, brought some kettledrums down, eyebrows were raised; but the fabulously bombastic coda on Why Do I Keep Counting? vindicates his indulgence.
"That's kind of the Ben Hur of the album," he says. He's not wrong. Sam's Town is a record on an epic scale. "Yeah, it has drama," he continues. "But, at the same time, I think it's a little more exposed than Hot Fuss. It's a little more naked. Last time it was about a lot of fictional things." By "fictional", Ronnie means that Hot Fuss wore its predominantly British influences for all to see. Brandon's taste in music is rabidly Anglophile - he constantly references The Smiths, The Cure and Joy Division - and it showed. By contrast, Sam's Town is an unequivocally American record. The lyrical imagery is pure American dream - cars, girls, wide-open spaces and escaping to a better life. "We're burning down the highway skyline/On the back of a hurricane that started turning/When you were young," sings Brandon on When You Were Young. That's the basis of the Springsteen comparisons then, though the lack of pathos more closely recalls another blue-collar rocker from New Jersey - Jon Bon Jovi.
The phrase "this town" recurs throughout the album, and it's always receding into the distance as The Killers escape to a new life. "This town was made for passing through/I never did get along with everybody else," sings Brandon on This River Is Wild. On Read My Mind he "never really gave up on breaking out of this two-star town", while on the title track he offers something of an explanation: "Nobody ever had a dream round here."
"With the first record, there was this feeling that there was this world out there that we didn't know," says Mark later in the day. Before The Killers, he studied philosophy: now he's their quiet one. "We wanted to get out and away from this and be somewhere else. We hadn't had a lot of experience - hadn't travelled much - then we were gone for three years. We didn't sit down and say that we wanted to make a record about how we're glad to be home, but that's what happened naturally."
It's not an angsty record. The Killers have already escaped with Hot Fuss, and, having done so, they view the experience fondly now they're back. There's a mistiness to Brandon's eyes as he explains how the album got it's name.
"Sam's Town is a casino on the edge of Vegas," he says. "I grew up in Henderson, which is out on the way to the Hoover Dam. My mom and dad lived in a trailer park, and my dad used to hitchhike up and down Boulder Highway, which is the only way you could get to Vegas. Sam's Town was the first thing you saw on your way in to town. So, when you're driving down Boulder Highway from Henderson, I always thought you finally knew you were getting somewhere when you saw Sam's Town. It was kind of like a beacon."
"It's not a completely American album," contines Brandon. "We still have our English influence, but we're also from the Wild West. Somehow we've managed to unify all that on this album. it's just such a perfect resemblence of what we are."
At the petrol station, Brandon rummages through the glove box looking for change to buy a lighter. "This is a great album," he says, pointing at Highway Companion, the latest from iconic American rocker Tom Petty. "I've always been a big fan of his. He's such a great American artist."
Yes, Brandon: we get the point.
+
When Brandon finally lights his cigarette, he smokes it awkwardly, like a child mimicking something he's seen the grown-ups doing. However, when he cheerfully admits that, "I feel the same mentally as I did when I was 12," it's not a knowing nod to the fact that he sometimes behaves like a loveably precocious child, but a reference to an unusually comprehensive grounding in pop music at an early age.
When Brandon sings about "this town", he doesn't mean Las Vegas. He means Nephi, Utah or Henderson, Nevada, where he spent his childhood. His parents are Mormon and he is the youngest of six children. "I was a surprise," he says. "I've got a 42-year-old sister." If he was issues about his "surprise" status, he chooses to gloss over them. "It turned out perfect because my brother was a teenager when I was a kid," he says. "He would bring home things like Rattle And Hum by U2 and I would watch it. I remember he bought Live In Dallas by Morrissey. It was always him watching these things, or his door was shut and you'd hear The Head On The Door by The Cure blasting through the house and rattling the walls."
The Killers were formed when Brandon answered an advert Dave had placed in a local paper in late 2002. Dave cited Oasis as a big influence; Brandon had seen them play recently and responded; and, as Dave has said in previous interviews: "He was the only person to reply to my ad who wasn't a complete freak." However, the band was born in Brandon's brothers bedroom.
"His room was like a shrine," enthuses Brandon. "It was a holy place. I wish I could show you a picture of it. It was covered in posters. There'd be a big picture of Elvis wearing a bow tie that just said 'The Smiths' [the artwork for The Smiths 1987 single Shoplifters Of The World Unite]. You had The Cure wearing face paint [the artwork to The Cure's 1985 single In Between Days] - all that kind of stuff. I remember Morrissey being on the cover of the NME, with the halo [from 1985] - stuff like that. You just wanted to know about these people 'cause they were so cool. My brother seemed like such a cool person. But he was a teenager, so he wasn't going to be that nice to me, a kid."
Brandon was fascinated by his brother's collection of music, magazines and posters, but he was denied access to them - officially, at least. "I would sneak in," he says. "I knew he'd be angry if he found out, but I would go in as soon as he left the house." For a long time Brandon was too scared to actually play anything. "That didn't come 'til later. I just used to go in there because I liked it. Then I got to the point where I'd actually take a tape out and put it in. It took more guts to do that."
It was a life-changing moment. "I was ten and the first song I played was Sing Your Life by Morrissey. I remember dancing about to it."
The lyrics to Sing Your Life include the lines, "Sing your life/Just walk right up to the microphone/And name all the things that you love/All the things that you loathe." It's intriguing to wonder what Morrissey makes of the neophyte he inspired with these lines.
Eventually, Brandon inherited his brother's tape collection. "It was around the same time CDs started coming out in a big way. He started buying CDs and gave me his tapes. And that was it: it took off from there. I got a hundred of the best albums - all the New Order, all the Morrissey, all The Smiths, The Beatles. I started buying posters. I went to see The Cure in concert. It was just kind of a continuation of my brother. And it was nice because, though my parents were strict, they were already used to it from him. There was no, 'My dad doesn't understand me,' or any of that kind of stuff. My mum likes The Smiths."
Brandon was 13 and his favourite band was late-'70s/early-'80s American new wavers The Cars, and particularly their jaw-droppingly catchy 1979 single Just What I Needed.
"I wouldn't exist without that song," he says. "That was the one. I remember driving around with my mum when I was 13, and we're living in Nephi - a really small town - and I felt so cool when I put that song on. Like: 'I have something that none of these kids I'm going to middle school with tomorrow have.' That excitement is what music's about, isn't it? That's why I understand the mentality of people that don't like us because we've sold so many records. I used to like it when no one else knew about a band. So I get that - I do."
+
Brandon's first band was called Blush Response. It was never going to work out. Not because he refused to move to Los Angeles with them, but because he is utterly - comically - shameless. He's given to making outrageously boastful statements like: "It's not like the '60s, '70s and '80s now. There are only a few bands around that are really good, that just do it. I mean, there's what, five or six of us?"
For the record, in Brandon's estimation, those bands are Franz Ferdinand, Razorlight, The Strokes, The White Stripes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and, of course, The Killers.
"I don't want people to think I'm lumping myself with other people just to make us sound cool," he says. Really? It sort of sounds like you are. But he just steamrolls through it. "Yeah, but you know what I mean," he says, grinning at his own cheekiness. He's so disgracefully forward you can't help but laugh along with him - Oh you are awful, Brandon! But joking aside, The Killers are the most commercially successful of all the bands he mentions.
Later, back at the rehearsal space, the band run through Sam's Town at deafening volume in preparation for the forthcoming tour - first the US, then the world. The infectious, almost contagious, chorus of When You Were Young sounds fabulous, as do the U2-like guitars and Twin Peaks synths of Read My Mind. Meanwhile, Smile Like You Mean It and Somebody Told Me benefit from the newfound harder edge.
They somewhat heavy-handedly underline the new direction by playing Paranoid by Black Sabbath and Get It On by T Rex. That's the thing: The Killers are not a subtle band. Their songs are like a wet kiss from a girl who's a bit too drunk. They are big and brash, and not everyone loves them for it. Mr Brightside and Somebody Told Me might go down as well at hip nightclubs as they do on the festival circuit, but the DJs play them with the same guilty look they wear when playing a pop record.
"I hate that," says Brandon. "Like writing a song you can hum somehow cheapens it? It makes me think of this quote by Morrissey. Everybody knows how he read Oscar Wilde, Keats and Yates when he was growing up and that he wanted to be a writer. He was talking to this journalist who asked why he hadn't become a writer, and Morrissey said: 'What I do is more powerful than what you do because I can write down these words and you get it to a melody. How can you beat that?' I'm of the same opinion. I don't understand why a good melody that's memorable is a bad thing."
Being dismissed as pop particular aggrieves Ronnie. "When we first came out we got compared to Duran Duran all the time. Jesus Christ! We got a keyboard player now all of a sudden he's Nick Rhodes! Come on!"
"The people who criticise us for being too poppy don't get it," agrees Mark. "I think that's the problem with a lot of rock music. People are afraid to write a song any more. Either that or they can't. And that attitude hurts music in general. The best bands ever have all written great songs. You can still do it and do it intelligently and it can be original. This isn't a studio creation with a producer writing these songs for us. We're not Avril Lavigne, or something like that. We're a real band writing real songs, just like a punk band would do, except that we write pop songs."
You get the impression that The Killers knack for showboating pop hooks that border on vulgar is inextricably tied up with the brazen side of Brandon's personality. But while his ebullient charisma, not to mention the songs themselves, mitigates his outrageousness, there is a less attractive side to his ego. He has a combative streak. He can't resist taking pot shots at emo bands, notably Fall Out Boy, whith whom The Killers share an A&R man.
Has he heard how many emo kids it takes to change a light bulb? "No." None. They just sit in the dark and cry. It's a full 30 seconds before he stops laughing. When he does he admits: "Yeah, we've had problems with other bands. You know, when you walk in the room it's like..." He whistles the theme to The Good, The Bad And The Ugly. "We're like gangs."
And while the other members of the band are diplomatic on the subject of Brandon, you don't have to read too deeply between the lines to conclude that there have been internal issues, too.
"Some people will think Brandon's the big genius," says Dave, visibly bridling. "There are songs, such as Why Do I Keep Counting?, where he's written every note. But there are others, like When You Were Young, that were more of a collaboration - like Mr Brightside, where I had some of the music and Brandon came up with the lyrics. We always have arguments about who wrote what. The truth is that we all help in that process."
When asked how success affected them, Ronnie says: "There were certain things that needed adjusting. When you're on tour for two years, people can get a little needy. It doesn't help that you're surrounded by yes men and everybody's working for you. At times we've had to say, 'Who do you think you are?' to people. No one wears the trousers, but some people would like to. I think if it wasn't for the people in the band kicking each other in the ass... Let's just say there was some ass-kickin'."
It doesn't take a genius to work out whose ass needed kicking most often.
+
It's the following day and The Killers are back at their rehearsal space. The topic of discussion is what to wear in the video for Bones, the second single. It's a big deal: the director is Tim Burton. "I feel like Frank Sinatra when I sing it," announces Brandon. "With maybe a little bit of Morrissey and a little bit of Elvis, too."
Of course he does. But if securing the services of Tim Burton tells you one thing, it's that The Killers are about to get even bigger, perhaps even make the leap to the same level as Coldplay et al. Already stars, they are about to become superstars. Brandon can hardly wait.
"Do you know that Rolling Stone didn't want to put us on the cover last time," he says indignantly. "They didn't think we were stars. We sold five million albums! What more do they want from a band?"
Whatever was required, Brandon would be happy to do most things. "I'll do stuff that some people don't want to do, 'cause I want people to hear the music," he says. However, even he has limits. "The Rolling Stone thing made the record label think: 'What can we do to make them stars?' If I go on vacation with my wife, do they have to send somebody to be there to take pictures of me? Is that how you become a star? I don't want that. I walked down the red carpet one time and I realised I don't like it. But you don't have to walk down the red carpet for people to hear your music. We do still have some of that indie blood running through our veins."
He heads off at a tangent: "When you walk around Liverpool, you think of The Beatles, or you go to Manchester and you think of The Smiths or Oasis. I want you to come to Las Vegas and think of Sam's Town. And I think we've started to capture that, which is a truer version of The Killers, 'cause that's where we're from."
He pauses.
"I used to live across the street from Sam's Town. Maybe it'll be like our Abbey Road where people go to take pictures."
Is that what he'd like?
"I wouldn't mind it," he says, desperately hoping it will come true.
He puts a cigarette between his lips, looks down at his trouser pockets and pats them in search of the lighter he bought yesterday.
"Hey, I don't suppose you've got one?"

I'm exploring the possibility that I might have NPD as well, so correct me here if I am wrong. But going through this sub has me a bit uncomfortable with the number of times I slipped into what I believe was psychosis without ever realizing it. The problem is that there are many times I think I experienced psychosis strongly, but I still believe they actually happened and weren't psychosis. I think because I am so aware of myself a lot of the time and think things are ridculous or I am a know-it-all, I don't suspect that I could actually have a problem. I'll list some examples below.
For example:

• During a several months long situationship with another girl, we continuously went in and out of contact---usually after an argument I started. During these "separations," I would manically search the Twin Flame subreddit for answers, do and listen to constant tarot readings, and literally (I'm not kidding here) hear God. At first it was greek deities, like Artemis or Hekate later on, but at one point, I was grieving the possibility of no longer having my best friend in my life and heard God tell me (like in my head, voice and all) that she was never going to leave me. When I told my situationship about this, she got genuinely scared for me. I just remember her going, "God? You heard...God?"
• Also during that situationship, I can strongly remember sitting on the floor, crying my eyes out and thinking I had magical powers. Like I could feel the power in my hands and I was fully convinced that if I could get further on the twin flame journey or something, I could harness the power of the universe or something? I had constant dreams about this as well. Like Hekate coming to me and telling me that I had a greater power inside of me than I realized.
• When I was younger, I got really obsessed with the CW show 'Reign,' which was about Mary, Queen of Scots. I got so attached her story (which wasn't historically accurate in the slightest btw) that I ended up having dreams that I was her handmaiden or something, and that I actually knew her in another life. I don't know that if grew into a full blown delusion but I was looking through a random family tree of mine and when I saw Scottish nobles (whose daughters could have been ladies maids), I was like I knew it!! Just to realize that actually wasn't part of my family line. So I think I did accept it as fact.
• Recently, I got into a situation with a girl at my old job (I got fired for poor performance). It was not a good situation at all. But I became fully convinced that this girl was communicating with me through song lyrics on the whiteboard in our workroom. Not only that, it led me to cross a boundary with her because she had already made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me, but I kept thinking she actually did because all the times she made it clear were through other people, and then she'd act differently from how she said she wanted things to be after I walked away from the situation in some way. I kept doing tarot readings that told me certain things to do, and I listened. However, even the cards told me that my assumptions were not based in reality. Like over and over. So idk. I just remember thinking I was completely correct, and then going back and looking over all the pictures and 'evidence' I had of her being 'after me' in some way, and being like, "Oh my god. This is literally all just a strong coincidence." Like at one point, the song of the day board (it was a list of dates and anyone could write a song for each date), there were titles like "Acknowledge Me," "We Still Don't Trust You," and "Honey, I'm Afraid." I thought these were all her, but when I showed other people, they said the handwriting didn't look the same. Like straight up told me the truth. It's kind of what broke me of my thinking, honestly. I'm still not completely convinced she and others WEREN'T screwing with me. But I do think that considering a lot of what guided my actions were the presence of deities speaking advice directly into my head, tarot cards (and tarot readings on tiktok), etc.
• A couple of times, I've caught myself half believing my dogs are robots. I only started to think this was a delusion after I looked at them earlier and saw them as just cute dogs. Now I am back to feeling like they could be robots.
• When I was in high school as well as later on in college, I remember thinking that a God was interested in me sexually and even doing the deed with them. Which...was strange. In high school, I think it was just a fantasy, but later on in college, I think that was honestly "real" in the sense that I thought it was real.
• I don't know that this was a full blown delusion, but as a kid, I remember thinking that since my under eyes turned a greenish blue after I cried (like a rainbow, I thought), that meant that I could possibly be the second coming of Christ? I also got a lot of messages from God a couple years later, like when I was sad, I'd ask for a sign that things were worth going on for and two seconds later a girl came up to me, gave me a donut, and walked away.

Idk. Now that I know when you are going through psychosis, you should go to a doctor, I think I'll keep that in mind for when I go through these moments. Probably would have saved my job, honestly.
Updated to add: I also struggle strongly with paranoia. I used to be paranoid in high school (2014-2017) that ISIS was going to come marching down my street and herd us all into camps or something. My dad used to tell us this was going to happen so it was a very honest to god fear of mine before I learned what islamophobia was. I wrote a whole short story about it. I also used to get constantly paranoid that someone was going to take me or come after me, but when I stopped watching Law and Order: SVU and other violent crime shows, I stopped getting so scared of this possibility.

TL/DR; I got into some legal trouble, part of the fallout was my abusive ex calling the city and reporting that my animals were neglected and they couldn’t prove it in court but I pled to a lesser charge to be done with it. Since then, they have been itching to find me in violation of my probation and ultimately got me for having one more dog than the city allows. I have had four dogs as long as I’ve lived here and I now have to go to court and explain why I was violating my probation. The initial charges were issued based off a picture submitted by someone who didn’t have authorization to be on my property and the second time evidence was obtained after the officer climbed up on my fence and looked into my yard, without a warrant or my permission and then he threatened to seize my animals if I didn’t comply with his demands.
I went to jail on NYE and was in there for three days (weekend/holiday) for a petty crime. My 4 dogs and 2 others that I was watching for a friend were at my house. My best friend cared for them (very well might I add) while I was in jail. Animal control was contacted by my ex claiming the dogs were left alone, mistreated, and that I was boarding animals at my home. I returned home from jail and animal control was waiting for me at my house. He’s new, still has the creases in his uniform, stands about two feet shorter than me and takes his job very seriously. You know the type. Regardless of Paul Blart’s larger than life personality, I remained professional throughout all of our interactions. He wrote me a citation for animal cruelty for leaving my dogs regardless of the fact they were cared for, unauthorized use of a residence (because I accepted money from my friends to watch their dogs), not picking poop within 48 hours, hard to do when in jail, and number of dogs on premises (the city allows 3 dogs max, I have lived here for 8 years unaware of this and I moved here with the same 4 dogs I have now and that’s not changing). Prosecutor in my tiny town of like 30,000 people recommended 11 days of jail (no, I’m not joking). I pled to number of dogs on premise and the boarding charge in exchange for 1 year unsupervised probation as the judge didn’t exactly see eye to eye with the prosecutor. To my knowledge, animal control has been aware that I’ve had four dogs and I have certainly not given them any reason to believe I have less than four dogs. That I can assert without a shred of doubt.
A month after we reached an agreement, I received a letter in the mail from the same officer, stating that on 4/8 they received a complaint that my dogs were barking in excess. He edited the standard message to include that this would be my only warning and that the next one would be a summons, which would violate my probation. He made note of the complaint which was received via our cities “app” where anyone can report anything and they may do so without any ounce of personal information tied to it. What struck me as odd was that the “complaint” came in on 4/8, however the letter and the report were filed on 4/7. What’s even stranger, is that I was camping 3 hours away with all four of my dogs for a week and didn’t return home until 4/11. I can’t help but to feel like that was anything other than a targeted attempt to punish me.
A week after that, animal control is in my alley looking over my fence into my yard. Harassing my dogs who were now barking aggressively (as they have every right to do might I add, I don’t care if the FBI or the Pope are peering over my fence, unless you have my permission to do so my dogs can do whatever the hell they want). A few minutes later there’s a knock at my door, he tells me that I’m in violation of the ordinance regarding the number of animals I have on premise. I told him that * ”I do not wish to speak to you anymore because every time I have been honest with you— I have only ever been honest with him— it was under the pretense that you were “concerned” with my animals and you used that concern against me” * His supervisor, who is a literal Paul Blart on steroids told me that I would either do whatever the officer said or they would “seize whichever dogs they wished to at their discretion and I could go to court to get them back but that likely wouldn’t end in my favor”— that’s a direct quote. He then asked me to bring my dogs out one at a time for him to “inspect”, all of whom were healthy and in great shape as they’ve always been (which we both agreed on). He then issued me a summons. A day later I received a letter in the mail from the court stating I was in violation of my probation and that I needed to appear at a different date to explain to the judge why I was violating my probation.
Can animal control look over my fence? Am I not to expect a certain level of privacy in my own home? What if I had been back there sunbathing in the nude and does it make a difference if I was or not?
They didn’t have a warrant but they threatened to take my dogs away if I didn’t comply. That just feels fucked up to me, pardon my French.
What’s my angle in court? I cannot afford an attorney and the public defender they appointed me last time is a sleaze so that’s a no go.

** BOTH FRI 5/17 AND SAT 5/18 *\*
Motorcycle Safety Foundation Ride Day New Mexico Motorcycle Safety Program, 3401 Pan American Fwy Take Your First Ride: Ride a motorcycle in 30 min or less for free. MOTO Intro provides the motorcycle, helmet, gloves, and coaching. Free Riding Skills Test: Take the challenge of an advanced MSF course! SKILL Check participants, bring your motorcycle and gear! Please wear over-the-ankle footwear, long pants and long sleeves

• Fri: 2 - 4 PM Skills Check, 4 - 6 PM Moto Intro
• Sat: 2 - 4:30 PM Moto Intro, 4:30 - 6:30 PM Skills Check

Niños and Teeños: Flamenco para todos Carlisle Gymnasium (Elizabeth Waters Center for Dance), UNM, 301 Yale Blvd. NE National Institute of Flamenco presents Niños y Teeños Flamencos in FUTUROS FLAMENCOS. Come see the high-energy flamenco of the National Institute of Flamenco's Student Companies. Don't miss this special showcase by talented youth in our community! (tickets)

• Fri: 7 PM
• Sat: 4 PM

** Fri 5/17 *\*
Fri 4:30 PM Bike to Wherever Day Canteen Brewhouse, 2381 Aztec Rd. NE Learn about exciting bike routes in Albuquerque and grab some cool giveaways to kickstart your cycling adventures. Whether you’re a seasoned cyclist or just starting out, there’s something for EVERYONE at our pop-up table! We'll have Canteen will be volunteering at a table from 6:30-9am and then again at 4:30-6:30am. Receive $1 off your beer if you arrive on your bike
Fri 5 PM Pistachio Cream Ale Release Tractor Brewing, ALL locations We're bringing back this seasonal favorite for American Craft Beer Week! Inspired by pistachios produced right here in New Mexico this brew is as smooth as silk and as tasty and a fresh roasted pistachio. This is a very limited one off for us, so come and get you a pint or growler while supplies last
Fri 5 – 7 PM May Babies Birthday Celebration Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW Starting at 5pm, the first 25 people with May birthdays to show Ryan proof of their birthday month will score a $5 Rio Bravo Brewing Gift Card...oh, and Beers are on special for birthday kids for just $5! But you spend your gift card however you want! Thanks to Cake Fetish...we'll have cupcakes for the May Birthday Kids (while supplies last) We'll have prizes JUST for the May Babies! We'll also have drawings for all you non-birthday folks too If you want to get their before us...All drinks are $1 Off for May Birthdays the whole day!
Fri 5:45 – 7:15 PM 22 Veterans Suicide Awareness WOD BFit505, 11500 Menaul Blvd. NE Each month, Team Bravo & Bfit505 team up to bring awareness to veteran suicide. Before our events, we will take a moment and talk about the issue. Then we will begin with our 22 reps WOD followed by a 2.2 mile ruck/walk/run. Afterwards, we will be going out to eat for social time with friends and family. This event is for all levels
Fri 6 PM Sandia Social - May Hangout Dawn Patrol Coffee Shop, 3619 Copper Ave NE We will be hanging out around the patio and inside starting at 6pm! Bring your friends and come hang out!
Fri 6 PM Pink Therapy, A Latin Dance Fundraiser for Breast Cancer Sobremesa, 3421 Coors Blvd. NW On The One and Pachanga Productions' "Salsa Therapy" night has made its mark in the Latin Dance community, now we are using the symbolism of "Therapy" under "Pink Therapy" but this time it is to fundraise in partnership with the Pink Warrior House Foundation in order to provide outreach and increase resources for those warriors battling against breast cancer. On The One and Pachanga productions will be involved in community outreach and utilizing our resources to help those in need. Cover charge is a SUGGESTED $20 donation (ALL PROCEEDS GO TO Pink Warrior House Foundation). Cocktail hour from 6-7 PM (purchases go to PWH on selected drinks). Dance lesson from 7-8 PM. Open dance floor 8-12 AM. Be aware of Media/News coverage. We need everyone's assistance with this, PLEASE SHARE FAR AND WIDE, those warriors battling breast cancer need our help. Let's do our part. We are asking for the entire Latin dance community to come out and support. This will be one of many fundraisers that we do for organizations like PWH. Lets use our dance skills to help those in need!
Fri 6 – 8 PM May Flowers Stampin' Bingo (in person) Hip Stitch, 2320 Wisconsin St. NE Cost is $35 for 6 rounds of bingo, prizes, and make n' takes! Message for more info or to register
Fri 6 – 8:30 PM Los Domingueros Live El Vado, 2500 Central Ave SW Prepare for an unforgettable fusion of Latin dance beats and rock energy as Friday Night Live at El Vado proudly presents New Mexico's premier menudo-based band, Los Domingueros! Few bands can match the infectious joy and vibrant rhythms that they bring to the stage. A multi-talented group of musicians, they take listeners on a musical journey like no other. From the pulsating rhythms of salsa, bachata, and cumbia to the high-energy vibes of ska and reggae, sprinkled with a dash of punk and thrash, their eclectic repertoire promises an exhilarating experience for all. As always, treat your taste buds to a delightful selection of culinary delights from our diverse food pods. From savory stir-fries to tantalizing Latin flavors and heavenly desserts, there's something to satisfy every craving. And don't overlook the opportunity to quench your thirst with a crisp craft beer from Ponderosa Brewing Company, conveniently available at the El Vado Tap Room
Fri 6 – 10 PM Fork Cancer Gala FUSION ABQ, 700-708 1st St. NW The American Cancer Society is hosting Albuquerque's second #ForkCancerAbq fundraising event. VIP 6pm - 7pm. Gala 7pm - 10pm. Dress Code: Gala Attire. #ForkCancerNM is a foodie's dream, with local restaurants and bars bringing out their best to truly showcase the Taste of Albuquerque while raising money for the American Cancer Society's life-saving mission in New Mexico supporting Access to Care like patient transportation, patient lodging and 24/7 support. Along with life saving research and grants. With great opportunities to raise money, we will also have live entertainment! (tickets)
Fri 6:30 – 10 PM Community Movie Night South Valley Multipurpose Center, 2008 Larrazolo Rd. SW Feature of the night: In The Heights. Bring your dinner, blankets and chairs. Please no glass containers
Fri 7 PM Movie In The Park ABQ Food Park, 6901-B San Antonio Dr. NE ABQ Food Park is bringing back Movies In The Park, starting off the summer with a screening of The Sandlot. Arrive early to get your face painted by Local Locas Facepainting before settling in with your blankets, chairs, and appetite for a delightful evening at the park with loved ones. Indulge in delicious fare from our food trucks while enjoying this timeless film under the stars. Please do not bring outside food as we have a variety of food options at the park. Please support our local food vendors. Entry is free! Reserve your tickets
Fri 7 – 10 PM Emerald Ball Holiday Dance Studio, 5200 Eubank Blvd. NE, Ste D Celebrate the enchanting month of May by donning your finest emerald attire. Bring in the vibrant spring season by joining us in elegant semi-formal wear of rich verdant colors and dance the night away! A Foxtrot lesson will begin the evening at 7pm followed by open dancing. Call 505-508-4020 for more information. $30 non-members
Fri 8 PM – 2 AM Sucia EDC Gogo Takeover Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Sucia Productions is bringing the Electric Sky to Sidewinders! No need to have EDC FOMO because Papa Sucia is ready to bring the party to you! Come join your Sucia Family for a Night of PLUR! Featuring the Sucia Gogos on multiple boxes and individual dances available in the Cabaret Room! Hosted by Papa Sucia and Sucia Gogo Madam Sativa Rico-Stratton. DJ Unzipped will be bringing the you the best EDM set for you to dance the night away!
Fri 9 PM – 1:30 AM Callaita Fridays Salt Yard West, 3700 Ellison Rd. NW DJ Soiree will be spinning under the stars in the Salt Yard, promising a night of electrifying Latin music. This 21+ event guarantees an atmosphere where you can fully embrace the rhythm without inhibition. Whether you're a die-hard fan of Reggaeton or simply seeking a night of unparalleled fun, "Callaita Fridays" is the place to be
Fri 10:30 PM – 12:15 AM FACELESS AFTER DARK - new meta horror starring Jenna Kanell of "Terrifier"! The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE All Seats $8. Check out the trailer. Dir. Raymond Wood - 2023 - 82m. Following her breakout success as the star of a killer clown horror flick, Bowie (Jenna Kanell, TERRIFIER) now finds herself struggling to capitalize on its success. But when she is suddenly held hostage by an unhinged fan posing as that same killer clown, horror becomes her reality as she fights to survive the night and escape before he completes his sinister plan to recreate the film's fatal plot (tickets)
** Sat 5/18 *\*
Sat 8 – 10 AM Planting Corn Seeds Lynn Garden, 176 Manierre Rd., Corrales We will be planting corn seeds; a new crop for Seed2Need this year!
Sat 8 – 10 AM Run for Mercy 5K Sagebrush Community Church, 6440 Coors Blvd. NW Join our team to run with us to support Mercy Multiplied, which exists to provide opportunities for all to experience God's unconditional love, forgiveness, and life-transforming power. Mercy offers free-of-charge Residential and Outpatient Counseling Programs, as well as Outreach Services that include workshops and trainings, our Keys to Freedom discipleship study, and Keys to Freedom Retreat (register)
Sat 8 AM – 12 PM Downtown Growers' Market Robinson Park, 810 Copper Ave NW Every Saturday from 8 am - NOON! This vibrant community event connects local farmers, growers, artisans, wellness makers, and hot food vendors with the local community from mid-April to early-November. Bring friends / family or come solo to enjoy fresh food made on sight, a variety of seasonal produce, unique arts and crafts, live music, and special programming all in the heart of downtown
Sat 8 AM – 2 PM Rio Rancho's Biggest Yard Sale Cabezon Park and Community Center, 2307 Cabezon Blvd. SE, Rio Rancho FREE Admission! Clean out your garage, spare bedroom, attic and shed. Come join us to sell all of those items that were collecting dust, find a treasure that you didn’t know you needed, and enjoy a day in the park! Vendor space $35 for a 15’ x 15’ space (Tables and chairs are not provided) Must register online, NO Drop-Ins Accepted. Please call the Cabezon Community Center at 505-892-4499 for more info
Sat 9 AM Send Haley to Spain Sand Volleyball Tournament Charlie’s Sandbox, 4335 Paseo del Norte NE All proceeds go to Haley and her trip to Spain in July! $20/per player. All Skill levels! Prizes for 1st & 2nd place. 4-6 players Coed with 1 female on team. Check in @ 8:30am. More info: Jillian (505) 322-7228, Haley (505) 331-4788, Charlie (505) 239-2461
Sat 9 AM Invisible Heroes Run Believers Center of Albuquerque, 320 Waterfall Dr. SE Join Runfit and the American Society of Radiologic Technologists for the inaugural Invisible Heroes 5K Run/Walk. It is a community event being held to recognize the vital role that medical imaging professionals and radiation therapists play on the health care team and to introduce the public to these vital health care professionals. You are invited to run and walk to celebrate the important work done by invisible heroes. At packet pick-up, you will have an opportunity to tour the ASRT Museum and Archives. Age group, overall, and team awards, including a great t-shirt and finisher medals for all participants (register)
Sat 9 AM - 4 PM 16th Annual CTC Vintage Tractor & Car Show Corrales Recreation Center, 500 Jones Rd., Corrales Join us for a fun day in the Corrales Park. There will be music, food, hot rods, tractor, stationary engines and more. Proceeds Raised will benefit Corrales 4H and Historical Society. Free admission. $10 for show participants
Sat 10 AM – 12 PM Foraging for Fun(ds) Los Poblanos Open Space, 1800 Tierra Viva Pl. NW Join Rev. Ryan Tate on a foraging excursion! Rev. Tate, of the African American spiritual tradition and an IPL board member, wants to bring their loving knowledge of NM edibles and herbs to you. Discover the food right under your nose and how easy it is to enjoy! We’ll meet to explore and harvest native and edible plants. Enter the Open Space area from west bound Montano Boulevard. After foraging, we’ll gather to taste our harvest and other locally sourced treats. Sign up today to participate - space is limited. This is a fundraiser for our work for climate justice: Please give generously (Suggested minimum donation $10)
Sat 10 AM – 3 PM Homebrewer's Happy Hour Southwest Grape & Grain, 3401 Candelaria Blvd. NE Homebrewer's Happy Hour is the perfect chance for all homebrewers, wine makers, distillers, or anyone interested in learning, to connect with others, share a drink, and learn about a new subject each month! $1 off beers from 10am to 3pm. Presentation on monthly subject at 1pm with open forum to discuss after. Food truck on site for lunch! May 18th - Barley
Sat 10:30 – 11:30 AM Animal Tales with the ABQ BioPark Ernie Pyle Library, 900 Girard Blvd. SE Dive into the captivating world of animals with "Animal Tales" presented by the ABQ BioPark! Join us for a delightful reading session featuring an animal-themed book. Experience the magic as the BioPark brings along real animals and biofacts that connect to the story, giving kids an exciting opportunity to meet these creatures up close! Don't miss this engaging and educational adventure for young animal enthusiasts!
Sat 10:30 AM – 12:30 PM FolkMADS Third Saturday Family Dance Albuquerque Square Dance Center, 4915 Hawkins St. NE Dancing, song, and live music for kids of all ages. No experience needed to have fun! Children must be accompanied by an adult. Children dance free, Adults $10
Sat 11 AM – 1 PM Annual Summer Kick-Off Event! Matheson Park Elementary, 10809 Lexington Ave NE Join us as we kick off the summer with fun, a food truck, face painting, dunk tank, and more! Bring your family and your pets for a Blessing of the Pets. There is no cost to attend and all are welcome!
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Wine + Art Afternoons Gruet Winery, 8400 Pan American East Fwy NE Prism Arts presents a new public art and social series with a special one-day multi-artist event. Join us inside the Gruet Winery with a selection of fine art, prints, paintings, jewelry, and ceramics from local artists Vanessa Alvarado, Eric Romero, Margarita Paz-Pedro, & Aaron Richardson. Enjoy unique art, amazing fine, food, and a social environment with the artists and the public. *All art purchases receive a complimentary bottle of Gruet Wine*
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Bernalillo Family Fun Festival! Calvary Church, 4001 Osuna Rd. NE Get connected to community and enjoy a Fun Family Day!
Sat 11:30 AM – 4 PM Imaginary Friends Fest Flix Brewhouse, 3200 La Orilla Rd. NW Let your imagination run wild! Join us in the lobby to celebrate the opening of IF! Enjoy photo ops, freebies, an in-theater giveaway, and activities for the whole family. All ages are welcome!
Sat 12 PM BBQ n' Crawl Supper Rock Park, 598 Monte Alto Pl. NE Mini Crawlers 505 and Duke City RC are throwing a BBQ and crawl sesh! All rigs welcome! Please mark going if you are, so we can get enough food!
Sat 12 PM May Brew Tour - Farewell Tour Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW This is the last NM Brew Ha-Ha Beer tour for the season. The 24-25 season will start in June 2025 so stay tuned for the season lineup release. Rio Bravo Brewing, Ponderosa Brewing, Bow & Arrow Brewing, Juno Brewery. At Rio Bravo, a DD will be selected, then we’ll head to the other breweries in the order listed. T-shirts, if ordered will be delivered. For safety, a breathalyzer is available, a DD will be established and a liability waiver will be signed by all participants. Safety is of utmost importance. We want everyone to enjoy their tour and arrive home safely
Sat 12 PM Drag Bingo & Brunch! All Ages Welcome! Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Join us for a Drag Queen Bingo and Brunch benefitting The Albuquerque Roadrunner Tournament 2024 (coming up in September). Hosted by Priscilla Bouvier. Doors 12pm. Show 1pm. Bingo, Prizes, Giveaways, Raffles, Cocktails, Mocktails and Fun!
Sat 12 PM Empire's 9th Anniversary - FREE PLAY ALL DAY Empire Board Game Library, 3503 Central Ave NE It's Empire's 9th Anniversary celebration and you're invited! We've been here 9 years and it's all thanks to the support we get from you, so to show our appreciation, this Saturday's celebration is our gift to you: Come in and play for free all day! Every game is on sale all weekend! We're holding raffles over the course of the day to give away some great games! So come on down and let us thank you!
Sat 12 – 3 PM STOODIS!: An AIDS/LifeCycle Fundraising Event Soo Bak Seoul Bowl, 111 Hermosa Dr. SE Help Vanessa Bowen cross the finish line – the fundraising finish line, that is! Vanessa is on a mission to raise $3,500 to participate in the 2024 AIDS/LifeCycle, a 545-mile charity bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles from June 2nd to 8th, 2024. Join this special fundraising event and send-off party for an afternoon of entertainment, vendors, bike tune-ups, raffle, and food and drink specials. Come prepared to support our local vendors and find out how you can win our selected giveaways. AIDS/LifeCycle benefits, and is jointly produced by, San Francisco AIDS Foundation (Tax ID # 94-2927405) and Los Angeles LGBT Center (Tax ID # 95-3567895), each of which is a nonprofit, public benefit corporation recognized as tax exempt under IRS Code Section 501(c)(3). Donations to AIDS/LifeCycle are deductible for income tax purposes, to the extent permitted by law. Vanessa Bowen (They/Them) is a Diné (Navajo) product designer and cyclist. Their work gravitates toward the intersection of design and social equity. Bowen is a former Outride Ambassador, current Chamois Butt’r and Kuat Racks Ambassador, founder of Get Native Kids on Bikes, and a supporter of AIDS/LifeCycle. If not creating in their studio in Albuquerque, they are training for a cycling event or community building for a just, equitable future (more info)
Sat 12 – 5 PM Day Camp - A Festival for Families Tin Can Alley, 6013 Signal Ave NE Day Camp is where adventure meets education, creativity, and community in a fair-like environment where a variety of youth development organizations are excited to share their programs. In partnership with Warehouse 505, and featuring organizations such as Explora, there will be workshops ands expos for kids to discover new passions across music, art, science, and more. Supporting Youth Security & Education, all dedicated funds raised will be going to New Mexico non-profit organizations
Sat 12 – 5 PM Monthly Pinball Tournament Sister, 407 Central Ave NW All skill levels and players welcome! 21+ Sign up starts at 12 pm; tournament play starts at 1 p.m. Entry fee is $5 + coin drop
Sat 1 – 5 PM United in Beer Collaboration Festival Ex Novo Brewing, 4895 Corrales Rd., Corrales United in Beer is a New Mexico statewide collaborative beer festival that benefits the Somos Unidos Foundation with 26 participating breweries, which were randomly partnered through a live draft and then together selected the beer style they would collaborate on. All beers will be showcased at the festival. Tickets are limited. Portions of ticket sales will donated to Somos Unidos Foundation, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to creating positive outcomes for New Mexicans through art, sport, community, and unity. This will be a 21+ Event. Food trucks will be on site. Included with ticket purchase is: Festival access, 8 drink tokens, and a United In Beer glass! We recommend bringing: Sunscreen, your friends, and good vibes
Sat 1 – 10 PM Boots In The Park Presents Thomas Rhett, Chris Young & Friends! Balloon Fiesta Park, 5000 Balloon Fiesta Pkwy Dust off your boots and get ready to holler, because Boots In The Park is making it's way to Albuquerque, y'all! Join us for a rootin', tootin', two-steppin' good time with none other than Thomas Rhett, Chris Young, Chris Janson, Kameron Marlowe, Dylan Schneider, Leaving Austin and beats by Luwiss Lux. We're talking about an evening filled to the brim with live tunes, finger-lickin' craft food, and the smoothest cocktails. We'll be kicking up dust with some good ol' line dancing and a whole heap more, as Balloon Fiesta Park is transformed into Albuquerque's best country music party! Past folks to grace the Boots In The Park stage are Carrie Underwood, Blake Shelton, Tim McGraw, Cody Johnson, Jon Pardi and a bunch of other country legends. But this day is gonna be one for the record books, a show that will leave y'all talking for years to come (tickets)
Sat 2 PM Annual Castro Concerto Competition Albuquerque Youth Symphony, 4407 Menaul Blvd. NE Join us to hear talented high school juniors compete for the privilege of performing with the Youth Symphony during the Albuquerque Youth Symphony Program's 2024-2025 concert season! This event is free and open to the public. We also plan to stream this event live on Facebook for anyone not able to attend in person
Sat 2 PM "Greatest Moments" - a fundraising concert for Opera On Tap New Mexico Central United Methodist Church, 201 University Blvd. NE Join us for an afternoon of music to help raise money for Opera on Tap - New Mexico! Featuring some faculty and students of University of New Mexico, along with other local professionals, we have put a program together highlighting some of the show-stopping, beautiful moments of opera and musical theater! Suggested donation $10
Sat 2 – 7 PM Rawking: An Afternoon Metal + Art + Comedy Extravaganza Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Featured performers include Light Thief, Destroy to Recreate, Guvtika, Abandoned Saviors. outdoors on the patio with Four Bands, Comedians, Artists, Vendors. Produced by Metal World Radio. 21+. $10 at the door or presales online
Sat 3 – 8 PM Albuquerque Roller Derby presents: Sandia Slammers vs. Bosque Bruisers! Expo New Mexico - Manuel Lujan Jr Exhibit Complex, 300 San Pedro Dr. NE Albuquerque Roller Derby has gotten SO big we’ve split into two teams! Sandia Slammers & Bosque Bruisers! Get your tickets for our first Home Game of the 2024 season
Sat 3:45 – 5:45 PM AND 7 - 9 PM The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 Flix Brewhouse, 3236 La Orilla Rd. NW Experience the Twilight saga's epic romance and thrilling fantasy BREAKING DAWN - PART 1 on the big screen! Bella and Edward, plus those they love, must deal with the chain of consequences brought on by a marriage, honeymoon, and the tumultuous birth of a child, which brings about unforeseen and shocking developments for Jacob Black (tickets)
Sat 4 – 8 PM Drink Local Downtown ABQ - May Step into the heart of Albuquerque with our thrilling, free monthly bar crawl event! Immerse yourself in the local charm as we celebrate community, culture, and creativity right in the heart of ABQ. In partnership with ABQCore Neighborhood Association, a locally organized and hosted event, we're bringing you a bar crawl experience like no other. This isn't just a crawl; it's a vibrant celebration of local businesses, a showcase of community talent, and a monthly escape into the unique flavors that make ABQ special
Sat 4 – 9 PM Summer Market ABQ Food Park, 6951 San Antonio Dr. NE Dive into the magic of summer evenings at ABQ Food Park with our captivating Summer Market! Join us for a delightful evening, where you can browse an enchanting array of offerings from local artisans and support our vibrant community businesses. Discover unique treasures crafted with love and passion by talented artisans, from handcrafted jewelry to exquisite home decor. Every purchase you make supports local creators and contributes to the thriving arts scene in our city
Sat 5 – 8 PM National Astronomy Day! Rainbow Park Observatory, 301 Southern Blvd SE, Rio Rancho The Rio Rancho Astronomical Society will host National Astronomy Day at Rainbow Park Observatory. There will be food for a donation, family activities and safe solar viewing. Dr. Tony Hull will appeal at 7 pm about his work on the James Webb Space Telescope. He will also have some info on light pollution
Sat 5 – 11 PM Beer & Jazz on the Hill Tractor Brewing, 122 Tulane Dr. SE We're bringing you a full night of brews and Jazz with the very talented Rona & Meli opening things up at 5pm and our house Jazz band Basilaris Trio closing things down at 8!
Sat 6 PM Bear Affair 4: Spanish Tapas Beer Pairing Dinner Boxing Bear Brewing, 8420 Firestone Ln. NE Join us on our patio for an ALMOST summer night paired with a variety of our seasonal beers, chef-crafted Spanish tapas, and flamenco. Featuring chef Christopher Midyette And the artist dance group Spanish Broom. Tickets are $65 per person and include a welcome beer, three course tapas style meal with beer pairings and entertainment for the evening
Sat 6 PM One Year Anniversary Celebration Urbanmama505 Kombucha, 1014 Central Ave SW, Ste A Celebrating one year of love, abundance, and sharing wellness. Right after Open Mic 4-6pm, we will be graced with a jazz concert by Davis Nelson-Hooker, an amazing local musician. Elixirs and small plates for purchase
Sat 6 – 9 PM Gone Country Saturdays with DJ Soiree Ponderosa Brewing, 1761 Bellamah Ave NW It's Gone Country Saturdays featuring the amazing DJ Soiree! Start your evening with free dance lessons at 5 pm, followed by family-friendly entertainment
Sat 7:30 – 9 PM Saturday Night Stand-Up Bosque Brewing Co - Nob Hill, 106 Girard Blvd. SE Live from ABQ, it’s… Saturday Night Stand-Up Hosted by Nax Davis! Every third Saturday of the month! Seating at 7:30 - Comedy at 8. Featured line-up of local comics includes: MEG FINN, BRYAN LAMBE, SARINA OCHOA, MARY BYRD, ROBERT EYSTER
Sat 8 PM – 1:15 AM Apparition Goth Night Historic El Rey Theater, 622 Central Ave SW A hauntingly dark, classic goth night featuring the Apparition team: DJ Ren, DJ Batboy, DJ Moonside. Doors at 8. $10 all night. 21+ Tickets at the door. Expect goth, darkwave, death rock, synthpop, dark post punk, ebm, dark dance, industrial, witch house, horror punk and more
Sat 8:30 PM – 1 AM SABOR Latin Night - SATURDAYS Bama's 1865, 6007 Osuna Rd. NE May 11th - SPECIAL GUEST DJ ITALIA! DJ Gabriel Goza & DJ Pedro will be serving you the saucy Salsa, Bachata, Cumbia, Merengue y Mas! Ample Parking, Safe Environment, Beautiful Venue, Good Food, Good Music, Good Vibes. 21+ / $10 cover
Sat 9 PM – 1 AM Cumbia + Rock en Espanol Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Grupo Super Verza with Ave. 69 and Lot Beat and DJ Tony. Baila! 21+, $15 at the door or online
** Sun 5/19 *\*
Sun 9 – 11 AM Elevated Roller Derby May Training Scrimmage Heights Community Center, 823 Buena Vista Dr. SE Officials' huddle 9:00AM. Captains' meeting at 9:20AM. First whistle 9:30AM. This is simply a black/white scrimmage. It will be used as an educational opportunity. NSO paperwork will be used as appropriate. You are encouraged to stretch your skills. Hospitality: This is a low/no production scrimmage, bring beverages and snacks for your own use. Bathrooms: The community center may not be open during the scrimmage. (That's the trade-off for a free space). You can stop at the nearby Starbucks before the event. Expectations: Skaters and Skating and Non-skating Officials are expected to follow all WFTDA Risk Management Guidelines. The venue is a designated alcohol, drug, and smoke-free space by the city of Albuquerque (sign up)
Sun 10 AM – 2 PM The Great Burque Bake On Rail Yards Market, 777 1st St. SW Get ready to whisk it all at the "Great Burque Bake-on," a special fundraiser for the non-profit Rail Yards Market: One dozen of Albuquerque's most talented bakers will dough head-to-head in a crusty competition for the ultimate bakery glory! Bakers brawl... You vote for the winners! This sugar-dusted showdown promises a blend of flour-fueled drama and buttery bravado, making it the yeast you can do to support your local confectionery champions. As these culinary wizards knead their way to the top, we guarantee you'll find their efforts both batter and sweeter than anything you've tasted before. Join us for a day of laughter, pastry, and a chance to see who rises as the crème de la crème of Burque's baking scene! 1) ORDER > Claim your Bake-on Box & exclusive market swag by ordering online May 10-16th, 2024. 2) LEARN > Follow our social media to learn about each contestant & their offering. 3) PICKUP > Grab your box of baked goodies & swag at the info booth Sunday May 19th. 4) ENJOY > Eat all the delectable goodies, savor the flavor, and read about all the contestants 5) VOTE >> Submit your votes online to choose the winners! (tickets) The Farmers' Market event is going down simultaneously with 175+ local vendors to explore, and is still FREE to enter and welcome to all. This funky fundraiser is going down during the FREE Rail Yards Farmers' Market. So you can peruse 150+ small businesses and enjoy the historic architecture while you enjoy your Great Burque Bake-on Box of goodies! All proceeds will benefit the Rail Yards Market. The Rail Yards market of Albuquerque is a certified 501(c)3 non-profit focused on building a resilient, sustainable, local economy where the surrounding historic communities thrive, all can participate, and everyone is enriched and inspired. Through food, art, education, and music, we invite the community together in an inclusive and festive atmosphere
Sun 11:30 AM The Addams Family Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE THE HISTORIC LOBO THEATER is excited to bring The Addams Family to the big screen! Showing Starts at 11:30 am Tickets are ONLY $10 for General Admission $25 Brunch and a Movie Ticket $21 Brunch Only ticket
Sun 12:30 PM Annual Spring Tea Asbury UMC, 10000 Candelaria Rd. NE All are welcome to attend our Annual Spring Tea! This year's theme is "The Tapestries of Our Lives." Life can be like a tapestry; our quilt, with events, feelings, accomplishments, and even disappointments "stitched" in. Join us, for tea, while Cindy Kurey, AQS-certified quilted textiles appraiser, shares how quilting and her faith have helped her navigate life. She will also show her collection of antique, vintage, and modern quilts! There is no cost to attend, though RSVPs are required. Please call the church office 505-299-0643 or message us on Facebook to RSVP

I am a single mum (23F) who recently matched with a guy on Hinge (25M). We have been on quite a few dates for quite a few weeks now. Been talking maybe just over a month. On average we see each other 2-3 times a week, and we message every day (not super fast replies, but consistent). He is so lovely, I seriously cannot fault him. We haven't kissed or anything like that, but there's the odd flirty touch and compliment. He has met my son, who he is such a natural with. He is a walking green flag.
In my gut I feel like it's too good to be true. I'm so used to hurt and disappointment that I'm struggling to believe this guy would even go for me. I back myself as a person, but I just struggle to accept that there's a chance that he would want to take my son and I on as his own one day. We are both Christians, and he has even brought me along to his church and introduced me to some of his closest friends, which I loved. He has come to my yoga classes, we get coffees and do really wholesome things when we hang out. He came over the other night to play board games and it ended with him helping me unload my dishwasher, "just because". He hasn't made any physical moves on me which I appreciate, but also am just not used to (which isn't a great thing) so I think in my head I see lack of that as lack of interest. But I also don't want to initiate anything myself. I realize I am the one with the baby and things need to go at his pace which I am fully supportive of. He even got me flowers on mothers day so I "didn't not get anything".
I'm liking the pace of things, as with a baby I want to take my time and not rush into anything without being serious. But I really like him. I'm catching big feelings and I don't want to get hurt. He is overall friendly to absolutely everybody on planet Earth. I guess what I'm asking is, do we think he is wanting to be with me seriously one day? He does all of this nice stuff, and I'm ultimately wondering what to expect from here on? Will it progress? Personally, I feel chemistry. Feel dumb posting this as I write it as it seems so obvious, but I guess I just want to hear other thoughts.

It might be TMI so sorry I’m advance.
Around 2018, I lived in hotels for a few months as I moved from one town to about 30 miles away and didn’t have a place picked out yet. I posted on the message board that I clogged a few toilets in some of the hotels (because the water pressure was not good). Michael c then made a skit ON HIS SHOW about it. I think in that one he used my real name.
So, like I said they used the pandemic to emotionally manipulate me into crawling back to my family, the toilet paper shortage was due to Michael c so he could have my family and me talking about toilet paper and him feeling like hero about it instead of actually apologizing for what he did. And, yes, he has the connections to make a toilet paper shortage.

Hello, I just moved states and cleaned out the tech room of my old company. I have started to unpack boxes and have these items for sale so far. They are a mix of used and new. I took time to look them all up and post links in a document of the prices. I am doing 50-75% off pretty much all listed so just let me know! If you think a price is wrong let me know!
Timestamp and Items (Let me know about close ups(- https://imgur.com/a/j3Bk3je
Prices and links to product sheet- https://imgur.com/a/v2f9LN7
Local payment prefered and cheaper, but Paypal G/S accepted. Shipping depends on weight of item since they vary so much.
~Random~

· PDP Gaming LVL40 Wired Stereo Gaming Headset for Xbox Series X/S and Xbox One- $20 https://www.walmart.com/ip/Afterglow-LVL-40-Wired-Stereo-Gaming-Headset-for-Xbox-One-Gray/1666019256
· Skullcandy - Cassette Wireless On-Ear Headphones – Black- $31 https://www.bestbuy.com/site/skullcandy-cassette-wireless-on-ear-headphones-black/6411942.p?skuId=6411942&utm_source=feed
· Camera and Film- $150 new https://www.bestbuy.com/site/reviews/polaroid-originals-onestep-analog-instant-film-camera-white/6333622
~Computer Parts~
· Chromebook- $270 new https://www.newegg.com/samsung-chromebook-3-xe500c13-k04us/p/N82E16834132144
· Battery Backup- $190 new https://www.newegg.com/apc-bx1500m-5-x-nema-5-15r-5-x-nema-5-15p/N82E16842301561
· Asus GPU- $350 https://www.priceblaze.com/hd6670-2gd3.html
· PCI- IDK $20
· Microsemi PD-AS-951/12-24 12V-24V 60W High Power Splitter with DC Connector- $80 https://www.newegg.com/microsemi-pd-as-951-12-24-poe-splittep/N82E16833996072?item=N82E16833996072&nm_mc=knc-googleadwords&cm_mmc=knc-googleadwords-_-accessories%20-%20wired%20%26%20wireless-_-microsemi-_-33996072&utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic+shopping&utm_campaign=knc-googleadwords-_-accessories%20-%20wired%20%26%20wireless-_-microsemi-_-33996072&source=region
~Alarm Parts~
· Alarm DSC 1832 Board- $200 https://www.ebay.com/itm/144826916255
· DSC PCL-422 Communicator Remote Mounting Module 2017- $50 https://www.jmac.com/DSC_PCL_422_p/tyco-dsc-pcl-422.htm
· 2X DSC PC5108 8 Zone Expander- $80 https://www.jmac.com/DSC_PC5108FLR_p/TYCO-DSC-PC5108FLR.htm
· DSC PC4108 Zone Expander- $130 https://www.jmac.com/DSC_PC4108_p/tyco-dsc-pc4108.htm
· 3X DSC LCD4501 MAXSYS Programmable-Message LCD Keypad- $235 https://www.jmac.com/DSC_LCD_4501_p/TYCO-DSC-LCD-4501.htm?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwupGyBhBBEiwA0UcqaNVgqdPmRKNEakRPDPTZzB43B-2be8misMiaOnVruxPFhGJDNTv0cxoC1EYQAvD_BwE
· 2X PK5500ENG Custom Alpha Keypad with English Function Keys- $250 https://www.worldeyecam.com/pk5500eng-custom-alpha-keypad-with-english-function-keys.html?srsltid=AfmBOopx2hPVcCLFrM4TqDnbkF5SPsNO60fDvF5tlATNcOI_rOoffw06tBw
· 2X DSC WT5500-433B Keypads(70009589)- $120 https://www.jmac.com/DSC_WT5500_p/TYCO-DSC-WT5500.htm
· DSC WT5500-433B Keypads(70009122)- $120 https://www.jmac.com/DSC_WT5500_p/TYCO-DSC-WT5500.htm
· DSC 3G8080 NEO. HSPA/CDMA Cellular Alarm Communicator- $90 https://www.ebay.com/itm/194963062897?chn=ps&mkevt=1&mkcid=28&srsltid=AfmBOoqDkfHSU-iTGSlGK5NNhU1TJWlm1WtRbzT-UkQYnnnQNdJhgFoROGQ
· 3X DSC Electronic Siren SD 15W- $15-20 https://www.amazon.com/DSC-SD-15W-ULF-15-Watt-Alarm-Siren/dp/B08VZ5JD8B
· 3X Alarm.com Image Sensor- $20- https://www.ebay.com/itm/225812964996?chn=ps&mkevt=1&mkcid=28&com_cvv=8fb3d522dc163aeadb66e08cd7450cbbdddc64c6cf2e8891f6d48747c6d56d2c
· DSC EV-DW4917 Wireless Recessed Door Transmitter- $70 https://www.jmac.com/DSC_EV_DW4917_p/TYCO-DSC-EV-DW4917.htm
~Aiphone Equipment~
· Aiphone JF-2HD JF Expanded Series Sub Monitor Station- $ 500 https://www.jmac.com/AiPhone_JF2HD_p/AIPHONE-JF-2HD.htm
· AiPhone JOW-2D- $110 https://www.jmac.com/AiPhone_JOW_2D_p/AIPHONE-JOW-2D.htm?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwupGyBhBBEiwA0UcqaDcbJm7t1LVPXck2aziAY8U5bAFiL1IExlaXu77ZKwF51z-lAPEmaRoClFMQAvD_BwE
· AIPhone JF-DV Video Door Station- $270 https://www.jmac.com/AiPhone_JF_DV_p/AIPHONE-JF-DV.htm?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwupGyBhBBEiwA0UcqaKIj4y5AK_KCIn0a5oBd6y5DdfN61lJ_1gWePqkZRN-SiyHlNuGHPBoCPfoQAvD_BwE
· 2X AiPhone RY-1824L- $35 https://www.jmac.com/AiPhone_RY_1824L_p/AIPHONE-RY-1824L.htm?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwupGyBhBBEiwA0UcqaD3bOcsbBGBRaEVFXSBVGsdXIVXLHmiSJ0N9LhKO99zKq0Ou3jB4VRoC4Q4QAvD_BwE
· 2X AIPhone MCW-S/A Desktop Mount for Video Monitors- $30 https://www.jmac.com/AiPhone_MCW_SA_p/AIPHONE-MCW-S-A.htm
~Geovision Cameras/Card Access~
· 1X Geovision GV-RU9003 Outdoor UHF RFID Wiegand 64 Bit Long Range Reader- $640 https://allgeovision.com/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=13293
· 1X Geovision GV-RU9003 Outdoor UHF RFID Wiegand 64 Bit Long Range Reader(may not work and just be parts)- $640 https://allgeovision.com/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=13293
· 4X? Geovision GV-BL220D Used- $700 https://www.jmac.com/Geovision_BL220D_p/GEOVISION-BL220D.htm
· 2X Geovision GV-VD322D 3MP H.264 IR Vandal Proof IP Dome Camera Transparent Cover IK7 Used- $600 https://www.jmac.com/GeoVision_GV_VD320D_p/geovision-gv-vd320d.htm
· Geovision GV-EBL1100-1F Low Lux IP Bullet Camera, 1.3 MP, 6mm Lens- $250 https://www.jmac.com/GeoVision_84_EBL1100_1010_p/geovision-84-ebl1100-1010.htm
· GeoVision 120-EVD2100-000 2MP SUPER LOW LUX IR VANDALPROOF IP- $290 https://www.jmac.com/GeoVision_120_EVD2100_000_p/GEOVISION-120-EVD2100-000.htm=?HOP2
~Random Security Cameras~
· AXIS Q1755 60HZ- $1300 https://computingworlds.com/axis-0304-001-network-accessories.html?srsltid=AfmBOop64f-96bKDWDtdT-9bowOZ9FWtbOFcH31SpPqeIZ1BD6HPBR8mvhU
· IQeye IQD32S Security Camera- $150 https://www.refurbishedphones.com/products/19805/iqeye-iqd32s-security-camera

I think we have all had these people involved in collaboration at one point or another...
You know the type, you bring them on board only to start regretting the decision because they find ways to dig their heels in over tiny things, then slowly start assimilating themselves into the directors chair and try to take over everything and slow everything down to a crawl.
I was finding myself to be a pretty decent low budget filmmaker. I know every production is different and every crew works a different way. I was big on not over planning my movies. I knew that what was in my head was unlikely to be what appeared on screen with the limited resources I had, so I would arrive on the day and adapt. I liked a fast paced environment, ideas were always welcome and I wouldn't be too precious over production issues. Working at such a low budget, or sometimes no budget at all, I understood that I would rather shoot the scene how I could and make the most out of it rather than be bitter about it not being perfect. It was freeing, it was fun to be creative in working around issues etc.
My short films were garnering some interest and local actors and crew were wanting to work with me when I was trying to set up a project.
I had worked hard on getting my first low budget feature film into pre-production and it looked like it was about to start shooting in the next couple of months (this was in 2016).
...and then I brought in the cinematographer...
The DP was a good friend of mine. We had met through the local film scene and followed each others work, but never actually collaborated. I thought it would be a good idea to delegate DP duties and we could both embark on feature films together.
He had worked on bigger productions before, bigger than what I had worked on though not as a DP.
It was apparent very quickly that he was unwilling to just adapt to the smaller scale of my production and was pressuring for more and more.
What started as me hoping somebody with DP experience would be able to come in and improve the visual elements of the films through sheer experience and resourcefulness and understanding, was very far from the truth.
Very quickly, he was insisting I spend a good amount of the budget on renting better high end cameras, better and more extensive lighting and wished on me bringing in additional crew to assist him with the DP duties. I was not opposed to this, and figured as a cinematographer it would be a worthwhile investment to the project. Then of course came insurance for that gear and suddenly my very low budget was already starting to dry up if I proceeded.
I figured if we are going from making a cheap local indie feature into something more professional looking, maybe we should try to utilise the gear we had to try and film a couple of things to raise interest and potentially gain some more investment via crowdfunding, so we took some scenes and shot them. They looked alright. Better than what I had been doing on my own anyways...
It was apparent during the shooting though, that he wasn't just focusing on cinematography. He was overruling some of my decisions with actors, trying to change locations and entire conversations. At one stage when I was elsewhere, likely catching a smoke or toilet break, I came back to see him talking the actors through a few things, and when I was trying to get him to adapt what he had in his head to what was actually possible to shoot, he was getting a bit preachy and huffy about not getting his own way.
All things considered, the shoot turned out ok in the end. After I edited it and carried out some detailed sound design, it was actually pretty decent.
The cinematographer then started sending me messages questioning the casting of certain people, and started suggesting alternative actors. He would also start questioning the tiniest bits of dialogue with a sort of 'know it all' attitude, wishing to change locations of certain scenes (for example, from a bar to an office). He obviously had plans in his head to make 'this scene look like the scene from X movie or Y TV series'. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was trying to film ideas he wanted to visually do, and not actually shoot the script the way I was asking him to shoot.
This progressed into him requesting more gear, because he had ideas. I just didn't have the money for this, but he was digging his heels in again and again over everything including directing decisions, writing, casting.
Film is a collaborative effort, but I had brought in somebody who was taking over the production and any time you had to move him back into his station he would give you the 'trust me, I worked on this and this...I know best' mentality. Production was slowing to an absolute CRAWL because he would just constantly bombard you with expectations and challenge everything, and when things finally got started would take forever reviewing a shot and lighting before he was happy to shoot. I am not against quality control, but this isn't Hollywood, we didnt have the time, money or resources to be this strict about the craft. We had to be in and out of locations within a certain timeframe and he was just too unwilling to meet me in the middle between what he considered his level and my level, it was his way or nothing.
The guy had clearly wanted to work with me, so it confuses me as to how the guy who apparently liked my work and style just wanted to entire project to fit what he thought was best, and my role as the director was requiring the inevitable where I was going to have to kick him off the production because we weren't moving any further forward with his elitist attitude towards the project.
The project eventually folded and never returned. It was what it was. If I had kicked him sooner or even shot it myself, it probably would have been completed. Maybe not to a super high standard, but I wasn't looking for a BAFTA, I just wanted to shoot my first feature script with the money I saved for it, but the budget was drained and the project had been at a standstill for too long directly because of this cinematographer that was constantly throwing spanners and changes into the works.
I thought it was me and I just couldn't handle a production. But as time went on, I worked with others and projects all came together nicely, I had good working relationships with crew and cinematographers. I may have been less experienced, but he certainly damaged the production.
Years later, we are still friends and we do still share ideas with one another.
But I have noticed every single time we initiate the possibility of collaboration, the professional side of him flares up and it becomes the controlling production knowledge it all demon that I experienced back in 2016 all over again. Anything I've ever sought to make without him, gets made. Every time we try to work together, it never gets made for all of the same reasons initially.