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Yesterday I was served my papers. Dismissed after 3yrs at the company. My performance was stellar. I received constant praise for things I did. Was liked by most everyone. But at the end of the day, it's all about money. Company had "limited work", and they needed to make cuts. What better department than the IT department. We're not revenue generating, and an easy target.
I was the sole systems admin on a 4-person team. I managed the server and cloud environments. I did the "Tier 2 and 3" troubleshooting. I was hands-on with the c-suite giving them "white glove treatment". I also would 3D print stuff for the company. Whether it was stuff used in the shop for when they made cranes and trucks, or for events. I was working on wall mount brackets for our WAPs so they were mounted horizontally. I managed the security camera system. UPS', network, you name it. We had an entire year of updates planned. Moving to SharePoint and eliminating an old on-prem file server. Finally getting rid of our last 2 Server 2008 R2 boxes. Upgrading the building security and HVAC control systems.
Despite all that I did, all that I was involved in, it didn't matter. Company needed to cut costs, and I was next on the chopping block. When I arrived yesterday morning at work, I put my keys on my desk, removed a print from my printer to see how it turned out (if you know anything about 3D printing, TPU is not easy to work with), and went to grab a coffee. As I'm at the machine, I hear a "Morning" from behind me. It was my boss. He didn't look happy. Said he needed to talk to me in my office. Then I heard another "Morning" from behind me. It was the CFO. That's when I knew something bad was happening.
We went to my office, I put my coffee on the desk and heard the door close. Was told I was being laid off due to a "lack of work". Was nothing performance related. The CFO gave me a hollow "thank you for your help and all that you've done" and shook my hand. Told me that they can give me a glowing reference if I want. Once he left and it was just my boss and I, I could tell how furious he was over this decision. He told me that he argued hard against this, and that he only found out late the day before. In the end, it fell on deaf ears.
Boxing up everything off my desk was such a weird feeling. I had moved offices a few times, but this was different. When I had all my stuff boxed up, it was almost 8am. Boss mentioned that people were rolling in for the day and asked if I wanted to wait to go out to my car. I told him "fsck that. I want as many people as possible to see this." and he told me he liked that attitude. I held my head high and walked out to my car carrying a box, by boss behind me with another box. Had a few people see me and have shocked looks on their faces. Had one lady come back as I closed my trunk and asked to give me a hug. I always liked her. She's Spanish and has that awesome mom vibe. She hugged me so tight and said she was sorry this happened. Boss shook my hand, and told me how sorry he was. We're meeting for lunch tomorrow because there are some big discussions to be had. He also told me that there are a few people who will be reaching out to me to discuss job opportunities. The amount of support I've received from him even after this is nothing but amazing. He was by far the most supporting and helpful boss I've ever had.
This morning is when it really hit me. Woke up at 930. House was quiet. Slowly went downstairs, got my coffee, and sat down at my computer. I opened my resume to start updating it, and realized that I just couldn't do it. And that's when everything came rushing out.
Decided I'm going to take some time for myself instead. The wound is pretty raw still, and I need to collect myself before I work on anything. Had a friend reach out to an audiobook company to see if they need any male VAs and they do, so maybe this could be a good time to focus on my VA career which went on the back burner. Plus I have a lot of lines to record for a DCS World campaign. Also have some 3D print projects to work on. Adding a runout sensor to the extruder on my k1 max, and printing Obi-Wan's lightsaber from Ep3 to go on my shelf of geeky things. Some things to do around the house as well.
No matter how hard you work. No matter all the good you do for the company, at the end of the day you're nothing but a number on a spreadsheet. And the higher up on that sheet you are, the bigger a target you become. They will discard you like yesterday's jam without nary a thought. Don't kill yourself for your job. Set up your boundaries, and work within them. It's not worth your energy, your sanity, or your well being to kill yourself for your job.

its like 9 am for me rn woke up at 6, got a healhy 4 hours of sleep. anyways i kinda just wanted to talk about something rq about i pretty much have lost most of my friends over the past years since i got out of highschool. they had it coming, snake ass mfs wanted to ditch one of our friends dispute him being there for us through thick and thin. anyways i kinda used to be a incel? i guess i wasnt like a neo nazi or anything i was just a loser playing hoi4 and minecraft all day. in november i got into the gym which is nice, spend less time now at home speaking of which is often. I cant find a job anywere, and im going to have to likely go to work with my dad in the summer which isnt bad just alot of work but also a alot of money. i have dreams, most of which are going into the financial sector, as you can see my grammer and spelling is just really fucking bad, no idea why im 18m btw and it looks like a 9 year old. i saw this quote a few days ago saying "live your life like your father was dead" on real note this hits 2 cords the first one being a kinda love it, and i wouldnt wanna face him after i failed at something he told me not to do. one the 2nd cord being that he one day may die, he drinks like 4 beers a day used to be way more, his brother died at like 60ish? idk that was when i was in 6th grade, on top of that he has told me many times he is going to die. i feel like hes depressed since im not doing well in life. my mom is kinda diffrent, i will always respect her but shes kinda just stupid, and with that cant see that shes wrong. as i have got older i have realized every "bad" thing shes done she was just acting out of anger or just didnt understand. my sisters one doesnt matter, i will never talk to her again, the other is wonderful, good future she helps me out alot with school stuff and i really wish she does well for me and she wishs well for me aswell. shes not around much anymore as shes busy with school i cant blame her shes not my mom anyways. in the way of friends i mostly just chill with my true og ill call t, t was the one i talked about before, i also chill quite alot with one of my cousins. to make it worse canada kinda been in a economic rut since 2020, house prices have skyrocked over the last 10 year in this area from what was 500k for one to 1.4 million over the last 15 years or so. girls are kinda weird to me, i dont really like them per say, i have never had a crush on one in my entire life, from what im guessing some have had a crush on me, im not really unattractive anymore. im built alot better and am fairly tall at like 6'1, i just dont form a crush. i think i might also post this on trueoffmychest

Not sure where to start with this so I’ll just put it out there. I think my father is abusive towards my mother and I have conflicting feelings towards him. I came across this post a while ago where it said something along the lines of “I loved him as a daughter but I couldn’t love him as a woman” and it hit home. I wasn’t sure in the moment why I felt such a rush of emotions when I came across that post, but after giving it some time, I realized it spoke to me because that’s how I feel towards my dad.
My parents have a traditional marriage. Dad is the money maker and mom is the homemaker. There is a huge power imbalance within their marriage. My dad has done everything for us. Has sacrificed a lot and I’ll always recognize that.. but no amount of sacrifices on his part will outweigh his shitty treatment of my mom. He has never hit her (best to my knowledge) however, he talks down to her. Talks to her like she’s stupid. Tells her that he regrets marrying her. Swears at her, insults her, belittles her (in public and private), threatens her with divorce, uses religion to threaten her and say he’ll take on a 2nd wife, and has basically stripped away any and all self confidence she ever had. And what makes me even more mad and frustrated is that my mom just takes it. She won’t say anything back. Ever. She’ll obv get upset and I’ve seen her cry countless times, but she’ll never say anything back to him.
She excuses his behaviour by saying that he puts food on the table and a roof over our heads and we should be grateful for that. And that shit enrages me to no end. He has no right to treat anyone, especially his own wife, in that manner just bc he’s providing. Im 25 and so I’ve grown up seeing this shit and I know it has impacted me in all the negative ways. I hate to even think that my father is abusive.. I almost feel so guilty and ungrateful for feeling the way I feel because he provides for us all.. but I can’t help the way I feel. And yes, my parents are the kind that think staying in a shitty marriage “just for the kids” is better than being divorced… because shitty marriages have never affected kids (sarcasm).
So I ask you: 1. What do you think of the quote I posted in the title 2. How is your relationship with your father? 3. Is my dad actually abusive or am I thinking about it all wrong? 4. Am I wrong to feel a level of hate towards him?

My grandma was hospitalized a week ago due to getting a UTI. She is now in rehab. At this moment I would say she is at the moderate trending toward severe level of dementia. Right before we called 911 to get her to the hospital she stopped feeding herself and was acting lucid.
The DR at the hospital said that a UTI would do that. Now that she is in rehab and she is being taken care of 24/7. Before that I was checking in on her daily as her only relative that cares.
It's clear to me that she shouldn't live alone any more. She is now forgetting to change her depends and feed herself. I have been visiting her at the rehab facility and she keeps begging me to take her home. I'm her ONLY help. I have a full-time job and I'm 33 and want to start a family soon. I feel selfish saying this but I would have to put all my future plans aside to be her full-time care taker and I'm not sure that is something I want to do.
As much as I feel guilty about it, I can't give her the 24/7 care I feel she needs now. I'm her POA and in charge of everything so I can make any decisions without a fight from any estranged family members who may try and take advantage.
I'm waiting to talk with the social worker at the rehab but I have this gut feeling that being home with an aide all day isn't going to be enough. I just feel awful saying to her that she can't go home. She thinks she is fine. She doesn't even remember how she ended up in the hospital. She said I quote " I can lay around this like at home I don't need the hospital".
This is awful. This disease is a monster. My grandma who used to drive from NY to PA all by herself can't even remember that she ate dinner an hour ago. I try to remain positive that I have had her in my life for 33 years and I have the honor of helping her like she helped me throughout my life, but she doesn't deserve this and I feel bad not doing more...but I just can't. I lost my mom to suicide (my grandma's daughter) about 9 years ago and I suffer from ptsd and anxiety. I'm trying my best to be strong for my grandma but I need help. I can't do it all alone. Knowing that she is slowly dying on the inside is triggering past trauma of losing my mom. I lost my mom suddenly...now I'm losing my grandma slowly. Idk what's worse.
Sorry this turned into a rant and sorry for any spelling/grammar errors. Typing this on my lunch break.
Edits: grammar

So long story short my mom is alienated from her work and it is affecting her mental health severely.
I won't be biased simply because she is my mother, but she does her work better than everyone else I'd say (perhaps because she doesn't have anything outside her job).... She loves her children, they love her, yet she isn't granted the title of being a lead teacher, and the director totally hates her and we don't know why...
She is picked on, never has any rights unlike everyone else, and yesterday the director even took her time to head to the center to have a "discussion" w her, w a clear intent to get her to quit, bcz the director is protecting a coworker (we have no idea why either), bcz my mom along w everyone else was complaining abt her, but for very justifiable reasons.....
I am friendly to that teacher but she is lazy, does her job bad, it affects everyone, and it is something we have all seen complained about, yet she is protected and agn we don't know why... She's had 4 years of experience too so she should know better.... it's so bad to the point that the little babies would poop themselves close to nap time, and she would have them sleep that way so a teacher can come in to do her job while she is at break (which luckily the co director had noticed telling her to immediately change them bcz it's wrong)...
Oh yeah she also never wears her uniform pants, meanwhile my mom was checked head to toe and would be nit-picked by any small flaw on her.... No one can have water bottles too, except her, as they r everywhere bcz she forgets to take them home, but we can't complain.
Anyways besides the favoritism, my mom never gets any privileges, never got a schedule change for years, was punished once by getting a 10-2 shedule when requesting to leave at 2pm for a week instead of her usual 6pm, is spoken to in Spanish (despite being able to speak and understand English well as she has an accent), and is always brought up how she got this holy priviledge to leave earlier bcz of the directors sister which is just mean......
She is 44 years of age, the oldest teacher there (besides the cook who is older, which is the conflicting part to me), has a different speech due to her accent, and is being pushed to suicide basically since she already had depression which has worsened bcz of this director.... Should we sue her?.... This isn't fair, it's damaging my mom and the director has been sued before for discrimination so.....

So basically my mother and I work at this daycare & the director is a total jerk to her exclusively (ik, very unique story right? lol), however we want to do something about it because this mistreatment is totally unfair, and it is very obvious (to our other teachers as well) that the director is doing this exclusively to my mom to get her to quit.....
We also want to do something about it because it's stressing asf, when we already have a bad life outside of work, which has affected my mother's mentality a lot, resulting in suicidal tendencies and un-hopefulness as she already has severe depression (she will get diagnosed next month if any proof is needed)...
This director has had a hate towards my mother which has become more evident towards the years especially w a new coworker who everyone complains about as she does her job really bad, affecting all of us , (despite having years of experience) yet the director protects her for whatever reason, and came yesterday to the center to pull my mom out of the classroom and have a "discussion" w an obvious intent to get her to quit which affected m mom a lot.... Because imagine having a bad home life w no support and now this...
Other teachers have done worse things to the point that children have sometimes requested to their social workers/parents to be pulled out bcz of something the teacher has done but a "discussion" never happened, they're still there and doing just fine... Some don't wear the uniform pants/shoes yet the director always picks on my mom if she ever wears shoes w a bit of white in it.... Noone else, just her.
My mom really loves her children and everyone knows it bcz they love her back.... Whenever she leaves the room the babies cry and always want HER. Yet is never considered the lead teacher as if she was an alien or sum.
My mom NEVER got a change in schedule for 4 whole years unlike her other peers. When she asked to change it a year ago so she can leave at 2 pm for the week, her director "punished" her by giving her a 10-2 schedule, which isn't even part time..... It was to give breaks/lunches and everyone noticed how mean that was.....
The director also paid other coworkers w either the same/less years working there expensive courses to become directors one day excluding her, and she always brings up the fact that (after 3 years) "she" (her sister actually) finally gave her a change in her schedule therefore she should be more responsible, as if she doesn't have the right to change her schedule unlike everyone else.
My mom has a different speech (an accent), so the director responds to her in Spanish, despite being able to perfectly speak English herself, and is 44 years of age which could be discriminatory, however there is an older worker there who is treated alright, but she's the chef, not the teacher. That's the conflicting part.
Should we sue her? Or is there no reason to?..... This director has been sued before for discrimination in a case that won.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
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I’m 17 and yesterday I didn’t go to school. I’m a junior and just finished AP testing and was exhausted. But yesterday my dad woke me up and told me I was failing spanish, but while I was trying to explain that grades hadn’t been finalized yet, he brought me to my mom so I could tell them together what I meant. My mother had spent all night analyzing my grades on both of the school’s apps and spiraling so obviously I woke up to an interrogation. I had spent a long time telling them that my grades had not been locked as I hadn’t even taken any finals and had just had this conversation with my mom. This conversation turned to both of them criticizing me for not going to school and spiraled into me telling my family that I didn’t feel appreciated and how I felt like they weren’t communicating with each other or me. My mom kept trying to justify her dragging me from bed by saying she really wanted the best for me and that she really thought that I was failxng and when I asked her to see the email. It said in big bold letters “Quarter Progress Report” emphasis on PROGRESS. I lost my fucking mind. I couldn’t be in a worse mental state and I was ready to kill myself. I was in a haze and felt like I was floating out my body. I went to my room to look for my antidepressants to take and couldn’t find them so I went to look for them in my parents room. I was sobbing and ready to end it all and when I told my mom, because I wanted her to do something, she told me she was going to hit me. I lost any sense of control or emotional regulation and started hitting her in the face repeatedly just screaming asking her why she was like this. My dad had to pull us apart and was ready to hit me he was so furious. My mom was crying and my dad was yelling and I didn’t even feel bad. I still kind of don’t, the only thing I feel bad about is the fact that my dad won’t talk to me. I told them that since my mom hit me as a kid and was about to hit me now I was allowed to hit back, but they thought that was psychopath behavior. I had to beg them to not kick me out and the entire time I didn’t really feel bad for hitting her. I actually still feel really good. I don’t have a therapist or psychiatrist anymore so I’m gonna just leave this here. I don’t know what to do and can’t talk to anyone but I’m worried about never being able to talk to my dad ever again.

So, to give context; On Wednesday, I went to the doctor’s and I was there for about 2 hours and a half. I had a fever, was throwing up, etc. The doctors just gave me nausea medication. Then, I spent another hour waiting for my medication to be given to me. After that I spent 30 minutes waiting for the bus to arrive. At this point I’m bound to look homeless. (which now I think was the case, since I had a hoodie and my hair was a mess) I was shaking, tired, hurting from a fever (it was pretty bad, that night I dreamed I was a wizard creating cubes of magic 😐 in the dark) and It was cold, REALLY cold. Finally- my bus arrived and I took my seat.
Immediately after, I was feeling sleepy but you got me F’d up if you think I’m going to sleep on a bus as a teenage girl. Listen, I was struggling. Every other second I’d wake up and go back to sleep. I never slept longer than 3 seconds.
Anyways, this is where the actual story begins. During one of my wake-ups, this lady was leaning over to me, I couldn’t see her face because I was wearing a hoodie. Since she was so close to me, I quickly grabbed my bag and lifted my hoodie. I thought she wanted to sit next to me because there were no other spaces. However, I saw that she quickly rushed to the back. I just shrugged it off but then I started to hear them talking about me. (For context, I’m Hispanic. I speak and write Spanish but I look white). Let’s called these two 1 and 2. 1, being 2’s friend- and 2 being the lady I looked at.
1 asks 2 if I looked at her, to which she responds that I did and she could tell I was on drugs. (Mind you they are speaking Spanish) Yo, when I tell you I had to physically hold my head in place to not snap and look at them- it’s an understatement. However, I was tired, running high on a fever, etc. So, I just texted my friends about these ladies as they continued to talk amongst one another about me. They kinda started talking more quietly at some point so I couldn’t hear anymore. BY SOME FREAKING MIRACLE, 1 GOT OFF AT THE SAME STOP I DID. I didn’t know what she looked like but I knew her voice and right before she got off she was saying bye to 2. Another two things that gave me a clue of who she was were also because when I got off, she looked at me, she had a disgusted face. And I, like a sassy teenager looked at her up and down and scoffed. 3rd clue being that every time I crossed the street she crossed to the street opposite of me. However- I wasn’t done.
I got an Idea, so I called the same friends I was texting earlier and thankfully they answered. I put them on loudspeaker and very loudly I started to talk in Spanish about the two old hags that had the nerve to judge people. I knew the lady heard cause I wasn’t being quiet. At all. And I know she doesn’t mind her own business. Basically, I was stating loudly how I was in the hospital for 4 hours and oh how dare people have the nerve to judge others etc, etc. Midway through this, I crossed the street to be in front of her and I basically started tearing her up on the phone (not really, I’m not that mean) but I could tell she felt guilty cause she stopped crossing the street. Then, I got home and my mom ‘yelled’ at me for not saying anything during the bus ride. 🤷‍♀️
Anyways, I know this isn’t a true petty revenge but I’ll probably be back when this happens again, but with more juicier revenge.
Edit to add: YA’LL I FORGOT A VERY IMPORTANT DETAIL. I was on my period during this. So not only was I sick with something ‘severe’, I was bleeding and sensitive. Bro, why can’t I suffer from one thing? I got to suffer from three?!😭
TL:DR: I was sick and sleepy and these old ladies started saying I was on drugs, coincidentally one of the two left on the stop I did so I called my friends and stalked talking shit back.

Hello fellow potatoes! And to the potato queen herself, girl, you're amazing!!! I just found your channel a few months ago, but I'm a huge fan. I don't have a lot of time for videos, but when I do get to watch, I watch yours.
Have I got a boomemil story for you! Let's go on an adventure...warning...I tell stories with rabbit holes and tangents. This is probably gonna be too long. I'm sorry!!!
So, the characters are me (40f), boomer MIL (64f BM for short, like bowel movement bc she's caca), my oldest son, (17m), and my church "mom" (65f CM for short).
A little background: BM thinks she's an awesome mom and grandma even though she's not. She uses my kids as facebook props to show off how "wonderful" she is. The only reason she was around my kids so often was because we went to the same church. She lived 10 minutes down the road from us, but could never be bothered to come over or have anything to do with any of us is if we didn't initiate. She has always said that if we ever try to threaten to keep our kids away from her, like if we were having a disagreement, that she would not fight to see them. We've never threatened to keep our kids from her, she just wanted us to know that she didn't give a sh!t to see her gandkids. So, that tells you right there, that she's a grandma when it's convenient for her.
She's of the boomer mentality that mental health issues are made up and aren't real. "You have nothing to be depressed about." "Just snap out if it." "Just be happy." You get the point. I struggle with depression, I always have. She doesn't understand or even try to understand and is the least empathetic person I've ever met.
When I get overwhelmed, I get depressed, and I start shutting down. My plate is overflowing right now. Between the end of the school year and the possibility of us moving states, I've been overwhelmed. My oldest is a senior and the last month of senior year is crazy busy. I have another child (11m) in public school and this is his last year of elementary school, so this has been an extremely busy month for him. I have 3 more kids that do online public school/homeschool. So, they're home all day with online classes, but since they're a public school, they have mandatory state testing just like regular public school. I have had to take them to do state testing on 4 different days overyhe last few weeks and the meeting place was 45 minutes from home, at a conference room in a mall. I also babysit 3 kids (1m, 4m, 4f), so hanging out for 4 to 5 hours a day on 4 different days with a shitload of kids at the f#cking mall was not easy. Not to mention the positions and "jobs" that I hold at church. To say I'm busy is an understatement.
We've been planning on moving for the last few months because a position at my husband's work is coming open near where he grew up, which is in another state. His parents recently moved back to their hometown after my FIL retired, so one reason for the move would be to be closer to them. They are getting older, so I would be taking care of them once they needed it, so moving closer seemed like a great option. Also, it's a lower COL area than we live in now. Currently we live in the metro area of a capital city and we would be moving to a middle of nowhere po'dunk town.
Told you, rabbit holes, thanks for still being with me!!!
And this is just the straw that broke the camel's back, this is not the only reason for my decision.
So, to the actual story...
Last week, I got a mother's day card in the mail from BM. She's a dollar tree card fanatic. It was a very typical card that she sends me. Nothing handwritten except for "love, grandma and grandpa." This is what she writes in all my cards. (Another tangent...last year my mom passed a month before mother's day and that actual mother's day was her and my dad's anniversary. And I had a super complicated relationship with my momster. So, it was an exceptionally hard day for me. The card she got me said "Daughter" in huge letters on the front. I thought it was so incredibly passive aggressive and completely inappropriate for that year. If it would've been any other year, it would've been fine. Also, she never gets me cards that just say "daughter" so, to me, it was a low blow.) (Yet another tangent...she does passive aggressive crap all the time, for instance when she used to do fb birthday posts, she would always ask me to send her a pic to post. I'm picky about what pics are used and she knows that. Last year, I sent her a great pic of me and her son to use. So, she used one from about 12 years ago that looked like absolute poop. It was a surprise pic, so like not even posed, stupid look on my face. No matter what pic I send, and usually send like 3, she uses a completely different one that doesn't even look good.) I got the card last Tuesday. Hubby happened to be talking to her while driving home from work that day, so when he got home, I thanked her for the card and just wanted to give her a heads up that I hadn't gotten a chance to mail hers yet because of everything I had going on. I kinda broke down and was sharing how I felt and she basically just said, "suck it up, it'll be fine." She's always been dismissive of my feelings, always.
So, my CM is the sweetest lady you'll ever meet. She listens to me, lets me share my feelings without being dismissive, and actually shows she cares. I see her twice weekly at church, and text with her during the week. Since BM has moved 8 moths ago, she has called or texted "just to talk or check in on us" less than a handful of times. She only calls/texts when she needs something or on a special occasion. She called my husband to ask about something, not just to talk. I understand now why the oldest grandson, my nephew, didn't even bother to invite her to his and his girlfriend's baby shower where he proposed. She thinks she's an amazing grandma bc she sends birthday money in a card and posts their pics on Facebook. And, she even stopped posting the kids birthday messages on fb bc she said it was "too much trouble." So, she just sticks to her 30 daily inspirational Bible quotes posts. She's the type that was so pissed off that both of her kids went with courthouse marriages instead of going into debt for a wedding because she didn't get to walk down the aisle at her kids' weddings and post pics on fb. She's mentioned this several times, but definitely wasn't even willing to spend a dime towards a wedding that no one wanted except her. She was also unwilling to take a day off work to go to the courthouse with us. With both of her kids' marriages, the kids and partners were together for a while and had kids before getting married, so spending tons of money on a huge wedding for either of us couples wouldn't have been the best way to spend money.
On mother's day, I gave my CM a card with a few lines written in it about how amazing she is and how I'm so grateful for her. I'm way closer to her than BM. CM is my chosen family and to me, your chosen family is the one that means more because you chose them, you didn't just get stuck with them. My blood family is incredibly toxic, so I stick with my chosen family. CM made a fb post with all that she got for mother's day. It was gifts and cards from her own children, and of course my card as well. CM & BM are fb friends, so of course BM saw it. Also, BM has everyone convinced she's this sweet, little old church lady, but she is far from it.
So, this Tuesday she got her cards in the mail. I always give her one from hubby and myself, and a separate one from our boys. I wrote a nice little note in it. Not long, a line or 2, but it was more effort than she put into my card. She sent me and hubby the following in a group text...
Copy and pasted, only edited out names.
"Got my cards in the mail today. 😭. They were post marked Saturday. You could of kept them til I got there or next year. It's like yall bought them Saturday, wrote a few words and rushed to get them to post office. My heart 💔broken. I thought I deserved better. I wish I could send pictures of my card verses [CM] 😩 card. I couldnt tell which gift was yours. But least I have a year to try do better and be worthy of such wonderful words of love and praise that was written to her.
I don't mean to complain or seem ungrateful but I wished you hadn't mailed them.😭😭. I can't explain how crushed I am.😔 Anyway hopefully I will see yall on the 20th."
Note: my oldest son is graduating on the 20th. She was supposed to drive down and spend the night with us to attend the graduation. I honestly believe she picked this fight because she doesn't want to drive the 6 hours down here.
If you "don't mean to complain or seem ungrateful" then why tf did you send it? I asked my husband what was his initial reaction and he said, "Really?!? All she had to do was say thanks."
So, after I talked to my husband and oldest son (I wanted to make sure everyone was on board with what I was saying before I sent it) , I sent her this response:
"I mailed them on Friday, I bought them several weeks ago. I told you I hadn't mailed them yet because I've been in a deep depression and you dismissed my feelings like always. I have real, valid feelings and you always dismissed them as silly. And come after me because now you're feelings are hurt. Wow, ok. The absolute audacity. And it's not just with your cards that I'm slacking. It's with everything. Because I have depression. I'm overwhelmed on top of that and literally the only thing you care about is a card. I tried to express my feelings the other day on the phone and you dismissed them like you always do. I know things will be fine, but in this moment they are not and you don't get that. Because you don't understand how or why I feel the way I do, then my feelings are silly or invalid to you.
And I never gave [CM] a present. Don't know why you thought that.
Don't worry about coming down on the 20th."
She replies by trying to blackmail me;
"Well my am so sorry I said anything. I never realized you thought that about me. I never dismissed your depression but yes i never knew what to do for you. I am not going to go back and forth about this. I will text [son] and let him know you told me not to come."
She's not sorry to me for being dismissive, she's sorry because now she doesn't get her "Proud MeMe moment" and can't post pictures of her at his graduation on fb. And even if she didn't "know what to do" for me, all she had to do was ask. Or listen. Or give a damn hug. But, no, she just dismissed me bc to her depression isn't real. And she's not going back and forth bc she knows shes wrong! Little did she know that I had already cleared it with hubby and son before sending the text, so I think she thought it would make me look bad to my oldest son that I told her no to come. Oldest son said, "I'm neutral, I don't care if she comes or not. It's not like she's had anything to do with us since she moved, and barely had anything to do with us when she was here."
So, my last text to her said, "He knows. I asked him before I texted you, and he's good with it."
All she had to do was say thanks or not even say anything at all. But, no, she had to say something stupid. Even her own son said that she's lucky she even got a card bc if it was up to him, her actual son, she wouldn't have gotten anything. So, not only is she not invited to the graduation, she's never welcome in my home again. The great part is I don't have to share my holidays with her ever again!!! And please know that I'd never keep her grandchildren from her, but if she wants a relationship with them, she'll have to put some effort in. And we all know boomers hate effort.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading my rant. I appreciate you my friends!

DISCLAIMER: I did not transcribe this myself, though I could. I had a machine do it, and then the machine threw up afterwards -- but I did go through and add some bullety points while Jamie shot off her mouth. It's a total word salad, but one has only to skim through and see the number of ways she yawns and yawps and contradicts herself ... and does not take a breath, so there is very little punctuation. Again it's a run-on slog and the AI program chose to only use periods to end 70-some sentences because of all the run-on "like ... you know ... and ... but" instances as she ran with it -- with NO BOUNDARIES WHATSOVER. I did take out the kids' names, and I did search-and-replace all instances of "to" with "tuh" because that IS how they talk!
ENJOY -- and I use that word lightly:
AND SO IT BEGINS WITH Doug wishing Happy Mother's Day … and immediately Jamie corrects him, "Well, not really Mother's Day …" since they are recording after Mother's Day. Got get those Doug corrections in toot sweet, lest he thinks he has a mind of his own.
They note they tend to be "a little late on things," but they are "trying to get better about that." Doug says they had a fantastic Mother's Day, and he asked her if she had a good time. She said she had a great time. Doug wrote Happy Mother's Day on some cards and the kids drew on them. He gave her an eyelash waxing and noted probably a bad idea. She said it wasn't that she wasn't thrilled as she did mention that pregnancy makes her eyebrows bushy, but she was scared, maybe just mentioned she'd need to tweeze, but oh, well, yes, she likes his gift.
Jamie noted that it was "just the four of us" and of course, the babies in her belly, and that was fine with her – until her son's birthday of course, when she noted that their entire families suck!
So onto her son's birthdays and THESE GEMS AND THOUGHTS: I think it's just pregnancy hormones, but honestly, like, I just, I just can't, like, I don't know why, like, I guess, like, you know, ever since I was little, I've always really, really wanted family, like, so badly, like, I wanted just, like, deep connections with people who truly love me, and I truly love them, and we just really, truly support each other, and just, I don't know, I think, like, just pregnancy hormones made me think about it, but, like, yesterday for Son's birthday, and just family members who just completely forgot, and they just don't care, and I'm like, is it me? Is it him?
Like, and I don't want my son tuh grow, like, he doesn't know, and he'll never know, because I'll make sure, I mean, I spent every second, that boy had no second tuh think yesterday, like, I picked him up from school, and I took him tuh the library, because that's where he wanted tuh go, and then we, like, you know, we really love surprises in this family, if that's not clear by now, and so Daughter and I surprised him with a splash pad, like, we went tuh the splash pad for the first time, and we never do things like that on a school night, and so, and then he got tuh go pick out a cake that he wanted, and then Doug had dinner already at home, and then also we had decorations in his bedroom, which I was, like, hoping tuh have for the morning, but then Doug was, like, at, like, midnight, when we're, like, thinking about starting tuh blow up the balloons, Doug is like, Jamie, let's just surprise him tomorrow after school.

(Notice she takes no breath … and also they were super-last minute when it came tuh getting ready for his birthday, versus, what we have all mentioned, that isn't so when it's a gender reveal or a party or pickleball or something FOR HER.)
HERE, DOUG ASKS … "WHY, ARE WE GONNA DO THIS NOW?" AND THIS WAS PRETTY MUCH THE LAST EFFORT HE MADE tuh STOP HER BECAUSE SHE WENT ON WITH: Yeah, because it was so late, but I was like, I just have, like, this vision that I just wanted for him, because, you know, I'm just trying tuh give them the childhood that, like, I would have wanted, that any little kid would want, and really all that involves is truly just two loving parents who are there, and, like, that's really all that really involves, but if I can go a little extra, you know, and surprise him, and I, then I want to, you know, and so, you know.
DOUG NOTES THAT HE DOESN'T THINK THEY KNOW ANY DIFFERENT, AND HE CONTINUES WITH: I don't think they really know any different, you know, and I know, I know it's, it's tough, and I think, especially with, like, little kids, you know, they, they won't necessarily feel the impact and that want, you know, and, and I know that you do, and it, it hurts me that, you know, you would, you would want people tuh care enough to, tuh reach out, and I think, you know, for, for me, I, that's, I don't really set my expectations or, or give those expectations tuh son and daughter.
JAMIE BLASTS BACK, SUPER-DEFENSIVELY: Oh, I do not either, though. I do not at all. I don't say a thing tuh them about anything, because, you know, sometimes people miss their – you know, and that happens sometimes, but when it's, like, over, and over, and over again, and, like, it's just so obvious, and, and people ask us why we moved tuh Florida, and don't we want tuh be near family, and, you know, tuh be very honest, this is why.
Like, we, you know, I, we would fly up there tuh try tuh prove, like, hey, listen, we're not just trying tuh leave, though. Like, we, we, I want that family connection so badly with your family, with my family, and it's just, you know, unfortunately, it's, people are in different stages of life. I try tuh make excuses, like, for them, and, you know, for us, and it's probably not personal, but the point of the matter is, is that whether it's not personal, and people are busy, and whatever the case may be, we don't have that family connection.
We just don't, and I'm, I try tuh nurture it, and, um, you know, and we do with some family members, and then just others, you know, you just, it's just. Well, you can't help but be disappointed. Yeah, and, like, I guess my heart hurts, because I want our son, and our daughter, and our children tuh have just so many people who love them, and want tuh be around them, and who will encourage them, and support them, and.
DOUG NOTES THAT HE THINKS FAMILY KNOW ALL OF THIS AND THAT THEY, THE KIDS KNOW HOW MUCH LOVE THEY HAVE FOR THEM, AND ALL THE EFFORTS THEY PUT FORTH, AND HERE HE SAYS, "Especially you," AND THAT ALL OF THIS IS WHAT MATTERS MOST.
JAMIE'S REBUTTAL: Yeah, I know, but Doug, what I'm trying tuh say is that, like, what I would want for them is them tuh have many people who love them, and, like, you know, like, I always wanted, you know, it's not even a secret, like, way back, I'm married at first, like, the one thing I wanted was tuh marry into a family, like, a big loving family that would welcome me as their own, and, and I'm really thankful for your family, and, yeah, but, like, I just feel like, like, I want that for our kids. Like, I wanted them tuh have people who loved them, who wanted tuh come around them.
Like, my, my siblings and I really didn't have many aunts or uncles or grandparents who, I mean, you know, it's kind of, it's so long, because, like, there are some people who were there, but it was, like, toxic, and aye, aye, aye, it's just, you know, it's just, at the end of the day, I'm pregnant, and it's just hormones, and I know our kids feel nothing but loved, but it's just really evident, like, on a birthday or holidays, like, people who, who actually, like, family who actually truly cares for us, and, like, all I've ever wanted was just our, like, I, I don't know why I care about these people caring about me, when, like, they don't care, and it's okay, and that's, that's, it's okay.
Like, it, I'm trying so hard tuh just be, like, accept it, girl. Like, you know, you can't force family tuh love you.
JAMIE TRIES TO DIFFUSE THE TIMEBOMB SITUATION THAT IS HIS WIFE, CLEARLY GOING OFF ON EVERYBODY BY SAYING HE KNOWS THAT SHE DOESN'T WANT THIS FOR THEM BUT THAT THEY, THE KIDS, DON'T EVEN NOW ABOUT ALL OF THIS RIGHT NOW.
JAMIE'S REBUTTAL: Well, I know they don't, and so, at the end of the day, I was, like, sitting in bed crying earlier, and I was, like, what is wrong with me, because I know my son had a great birthday yesterday. Like, I made sure of it.
DOUG NOTES SHE "KILLED IT, YESTERDAY."
JAMIE BLASTS ON: At the end of the day, I think, like, it's a personal thing, because it's, like, they don't care about me, and therefore, they don't care about my son, and that hurts, you know? Like, it's just hurtful, and not, because I care about them, and I love them, and I've tried so hard tuh be part of them, and, and try to, like, I've tried changing my ways. I've tried tuh adapt tuh be more like them.
I've tried all these different things. At the end of the day, nothing I do, like, I may as well just be myself, and, and, because if I have tried tuh be like them, they don't like me. If I try tuh be myself, they don't like me.
Like, no matter what, like, I don't feel like, I feel like they're, I'm just kind of judged by them in the way that I live my life, and anyways, it's fine, but.
DOUG COUNTERS IT WITH THE FACT THAT JAMIE GOES "ABOVE AND BEYOND FOR EVERYBODY," AND THAT IT'S TOUGH THAT SHE "WANTS OR EXPECTS THAT IN RETURN," BUT NOTES THAT THIS IS ALSO MAYBE WHERE THE "BOUNDARIES" LIE … cool, they now have a title for the podcast!
JAMIE CONTINUES tuh BLAST: Well, no, of course, and this is exactly why I'm also crying happy tears, because for so long, I just really tried tuh nurture, like, a true, like, true family, and deep connection, and like, try tuh be, like, really close, and, and it's like, well, if you're the only person nurturing that, you're bound tuh get hurt. It's bound, it's not going tuh happen ever, because it has tuh be a two-way street, and so, unfortunately, like, I started putting up boundaries, and I knew it was going tuh hurt, and like, here it is. It's, it's hurting, you know, like, and then inevitably, they'll be like, you know, you moved tuh Florida, but even when we didn't live in Florida, let's be honest, like, we didn't see family very often, unless, like, it was, it just, unless it was us going places, and then even when we moved here, I would fly up there.
I flew up, we were flying up there, like, once a month. It was so expensive. It was so taxing, but I just wanted to, tuh kind of prove, hey, listen, like, but, you know, I'm so glad we moved here, because at the end of the day, you know, even if we never even find our own people, like, our focus is on our core family, like, we had zero distractions for Son yesterday, like, his birthday was the hundred, like, and it's just, that feels good, because normally, we wouldn't have that. Yeah, normally, I would be cleaning the house, trying tuh prep for people tuh come over, who I would have called 10 times, make sure they remember that he's coming, and it's like, or that his birthday is coming, and it's like, it's just, you know, this is such a vulnerable, I don't even know if I want tuh share any of this, because it's just so personal, but.
DOUG NOTES THAT ALL REFLECTS MORE ABOUT OTHERS AND NOT AN ATTACK ON JAMIE.
AND YET JAMIE CONTINUES TO DEFLECT AND ATTACK: No, I don't think it is either, but it's just very evident where people, like, if people care about us and our family, I don't think they actually, that's the thing, is they don't, like, and so, they're not thinking about it one way or the other, it doesn't even matter tuh them, and that's what hurts, because I wish that they cared about us the way that we cared about them, but they don't, and so, that's why I'm trying tuh have the boundaries tuh be like, find people who will care about you then, or just focus on your own family, and if people wonder why I want so many kids, well, there you go. People constantly say, why don't you love the two you have?
Oh, of course I do, and I'll tell you what, I want tuh have 10 more, because I want tuh raise them in a way where we love each other, we're always there for each other, we don't forget. It's just silly little milestones, it's not about presents, it's not about anything other than just love, and remembrance, and just, like, celebrating each other, and I am going tuh raise my kids tuh just really love each other, and tuh know that their parents love them, but God forbid, one of us are taken, and then, then it's like, I think about things like that, and I'm like, who do they have if they don't have us? Like, seriously, and that scares the crap out of me, because there are very few people who even remember, like, and tuh me, it's just a birthday, I know, it doesn't really matter, but like, that's of significance tuh that child, and people just don't care, like, they just, our fam, so many of our family members just don't care. Well, we make, we make it, and then I'm like, am I making a mountain out of a molehill, but like, and am I?
DOUG ALSO THINKS ABOUT THEM "DEPARTING EARLY" AND WHAT HAPPENS tuh THEM.
JAMIE BUSTS BACK IN, AND STARTS tuh TALK ABOUT "ESTATE PLANNING," WHICH SORT OF MADE ME SIDEYE BECAUSE SHE GOES ON tuh TALK ABOUT THE KIDS AND WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM, AS IF THEY WERE PART OF THE "ESTATE," BUT I GUESS SINCE THEY ARE THE MONEYMAKERS SHE THINKS OF IT MORE IN THAT WAY THAN GUARDIANSHIP PAPERWORK … AND SO SHE CONTINUES: Well, when you think about estate planning, and then who you're leaving your kids to, and I'm like, who can I leave my kids to, who are really going tuh love them, and the people right now didn't even call tuh wish him happy birthday, they didn't even call tuh wish him a happy birthday, they didn't send a gift, and it's not even about the gift, but it's about the thought, who do we have in our life, Doug? I don't think it's, you know, I ask if I think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but then I, like, I almost, like, talk, like, convince myself that, no, I'm not, like, I'm really trying tuh make sure that our kids are taken, like, loved and taken care of, and sure, we've got it out, down pat, but what happens, like, then what?
And like, I'm not gonna go down that rabbit hole, and I'm sure this is all pregnancy hormones, and I'm just exhausted and tired, so, but I just think about these things, and then, and then people wonder why I am so thankful for our followers, for those of you listening tuh the podcast, and those of you who follow us on Instagram and YouTube, and who are just excited for us, because a lot of our own family members aren't, like, it's just wild, and so, yeah, and so thank you for those of you listening, and for those of you who comment, and just, you know, just are excited to, like, like, tuh be part of our family, like, because we have forever been looking for that, and, like, our family's just not that interested, and we could try, and try, and try.
DOUG: Out of sight, out of mind.
JAMIE BINGOS!!!!! THAT THOUGHT AND CONTINUES: Yeah, it's, and it's fine, but I'll tell you what, I genuinely do appreciate every single five-star review, every single, like, nudge that you just, every single moment that you take out of your life just tuh be like, hey, what's up with Jamie, you know, and that's why I try tuh do giveaways, and I try to, you know, like, read your five-star reviews, and I try tuh show you that I genuinely care about you, too, because I really think that it is a two-way street with everything in life, like, so whether it's, you know, family, it's friends, it's working, it's, we're colleagues, like, if someone is showing you a lot of, you know, any support, or encouragement, or care, like, then that's the person that you should then go show love, support, and encouragement, and care to, whether they're family or not, and unfortunately, if family doesn't seem tuh show you that, well, then you do have tuh set up boundaries, and it hurts, like, h-e-l-l, because then you'll start to, when you stop reaching out as much, well, then you'll start seeing that your relationship becomes even more distant, but you can't constantly break your back tuh try tuh make relationships.
DOUG NOTES THAT THEY EITHER STEP UP OR DON'T, AND THAT’S WHERE IT LANDS.
JAMIE CONTINUES: Yeah, but from what, from my experience, from what we've experienced, you know, no one really steps up, and it's pretty evident when you start, when you realize you have tuh make a boundary with a person, like, just know in your heart that it's gonna hurt, like, you know, and I'm sure that we're, I'm not the only person going through this, and that's, I think, why it's important tuh share, is that, you know, because it's hard tuh share these things.
It's embarrassing. It's, I feel, it's almost, like, belittling. It's like, like, you know, it's like you're, you're sharing that you're rejected, essentially.
Who wants tuh share that? Like, who wants tuh admit that? But the truth is, is that we all have been there, and so I think that the biggest way tuh heal, and what I've learned is, of course, tuh find, to, like, lean in on the people who don't, like, desert you, betray you, talk behind your back.
I mean, that's the thing, is people who also, who are there, but they're really, like, kind of a snake in disguise, and, like, it's, like, like, they, it seems like they're there for you, but then behind, but you're walking on eggshells around them, because you know that they're saying things behind your back, and that's not, that's not healthy either, and so what I've really tried tuh do is really just focus on people that have really just been loving and nurturing, and the more people are loving and nurturing tuh me, whether they're family or not, the more I will lead, like, reach into them, and...
DOUG BUSTS IN TO TAKE A "QUICK PAUSE" FOR AN AD, IRONICALLY ABOUT INVESTING AND GOOD FINANCIAL HYGEINE.
JAMIE GETS RIGHT BACK TO IT: Of course, holidays and birthdays are tough because like you want like my mom like I mean forget it but like I love her and she's doing the best she can but like you know it's like I don't know I guess it's because I'm pregnant and then like when you become a mom and you just think about this relationship and it's like I just have always wanted that relationship with my mom and of course I know real like logically it's not gonna happen but anyways it's um it's just hard but anyways what I was trying tuh say tuh you though listening is like if you're going through this type of situation like just know that you're doing the right thing by kind of putting the boundaries up and then kind of you know you got tuh focus on gratitude more than anything else and so I consistently try tuh remind myself tuh be thankful that I am alive I'm able tuh be there for my kids my son has no idea who remembered and who forgot his birthday but of course he knows who he talked tuh but like you know I, I know that he had the most spectacular day yesterday and I made darn well sure of it and it literally cost me like zero dollars tuh it's not like it has tuh be expensive it wasn't extravagant we went tuh the library which is free and then we went tuh a free splash pad that's in our city and slash playground yeah, yeah and he had a great time so it's like people it's because the other thing people say well if you can afford tuh give them that it's like it doesn't you can find ways tuh live tuh like really bless your family and your kids without having tuh spend boatloads of money um but the biggest message and takeaway of this all and I guess of like I we never planned on sharing any of this we were planning on sharing about mother's day and
DOUG DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT tuh SAY, BUT SHE NEEDS tuh KNOW HOW PROUD HE IS OF HER, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH …
SHE THANKS HIM QUICKLY AND THEN GETS ON WITH HIS always getting by my side and like when I'm thankful for you when I started you know going tuh therapy and, and I mean forever ago I'm telling you forever ago when we were first married and I first started going tuh a therapist outside of married at first sight she told me she looked me in the eyes and she said Jamie like they might be family but they're not your people and you gotta go find your people and I didn't want tuh believe her I didn't want I literally just said you know thanks but no thanks essentially and I'm gonna try my best tuh turn this family into mine because I want this connection and I want this and I wish I could have saved myself all those years by just listening tuh her and you know finding my own people who, who do love and support me for who I am who I don't have tuh like I can just don't have tuh walk on eggshells I don't have tuh try tuh be anybody else I can just be myself and they'll see like the good in that and they'll like it you know and, and not everyone's for everyone and that's okay and I just try tuh remind myself that but anyways um yeah you've always stood by my side so thank you I see you I'll always be by your side I just like sometimes doubt like if like you know like, like, like what have I done like am I a bad person like did I like what have I done this has nothing
DOUG NOTES THAT THEY'D FIND PEOPLE "DOWN HERE" IN FLORIDA, AND THAT THEY BOTH KNEW IT WOULD NOT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT, THAT REALLY MEANINGFUL BONDS TAKE TIME, BUT THEY ARE IN THE BEST POSSIBLE POSITION TO BUILD A COMMUNITY AND MAKE STRONG FRIENDS THEY CONSIDER TO BE FAMILY, AMAZING PEOPLE, AND THERE ARE KIDS TOO, AND THEY CAN WATCH EVERYONE GROW UP TOGETHER … AND HE THINKS, "That's kind of the point of, of moving tuh Florida find community find our people and also find out you know who would be there with us and for us and …"
JAMIE BLASTS BACK: It has nothing tuh do with you or who you are well the truth is, is obviously it does because these people don't enjoy being around me so then therefore they don't enjoy remembering our kids and or me whatever I guess I think I'm just really hormonal and emotional but I guess I just feel incredibly rejected and like I've done something wrong but I also know at the same exact breath that this has been happening for years and years and years where I've really
DOUG NOTES JAMIE HAS "TRIED SO HARD" AND THAT IT'S NOTHING THAT SHE DID.
JAMIE BLATHERS BACK THAT IT'S NOT REALLY THAT THEY'VE DONE ANYTHING WRONG, BUT … we just don't jive and I guess you know we have different we're different people and we can't force it yeah and so there's very little control that we have over it other than us being us yeah and so but you know but I guess this is like the healing part that everyone talks about with boundaries that's so painful like it's so painful because when you want something so bad and like I think it's like wired in me because it's family and like I really want tuh support family and love family and be there for them and but then it's like but it's just not there in return and you could just spend your whole life searching for it and or you could kind of put up a boundary and, and stop allowing that tuh continue tuh hurt you and find people who are genuinely happy tuh be around you and so needless tuh say for those of you listening if - if you're in this boat with someone whether it's parents siblings aunts uncles cousins I don't know or even long-time friends who you think are quote-unquote friends but you know things change or who knows I mean it's so darn hurtful but I really believe at the end of the day that I mean I was I spent years and years and years trying my darnedest and now I'm like if I, If I could give like an inkling of that effort tuh someone who gives an inkling of the effort back tuh me like the just the joy and happiness that could come from that or just like the stability and also like I did try changing myself tuh kind of be more like them tuh have more in common with them and it just I can tell you right now if you're trying tuh do that that's not gonna work either like it's hard unfortunately you just gotta be yourself in this world you gotta love with your whole heart and, and be selfless you know you can't expect people tuh just care about you if you don't care about them of course you gotta show up for people you gotta really like put yourself out there for them but if you consistently do that and you're not getting any of it in return you gotta change your path and it's the hardest thing in the world tuh do but you know tuh be very, very honest like going tuh bed with Doug last night after Son's birthday and like just everything that went down and whatnot I was just like and this is why we live in Florida this is why we moved here because this this served our core family more so than trying tuh fit a round peg into a square everyone else's schedule and everybody else's lives it's just you know and it's and I'm incredibly thankful tuh your sister and tuh your mom and your dad of course because they did reach out and that's just really, really kind like they called and they just show that they really care and that really means the whole wide world tuh me and like regardless of what they think of me like they love our kids and that's really all that
DOUG NOTES WHAT MATTERS IS-AND MAYBE THEY NEED TO BELIEVE IN SOME KIND OF "HIGHER PURPOSE," BUT HE DOESN'T CONSIDER IT ALL "WASTED TIME OR ENERGY," AND THAT IT MAYBE HAPPENED THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AND FOR JAMIE TO GIVE …
AND SHE CUTS HIM OFF TO SAY THAT THIS MESSAGE CAN help others. I've really kind of like avoided being this vulnerable lately because I feel like there are some people who just really don't like me and it's been brought tuh my attention and just no matter what I do they really don't like me and I guess like everybody has quote-unquote haters but it hurts my heart a little bit and I don't know but, but the truth is, is like just like I said before what I learned in this the certain boundaries that I've talked about before is that you really can't change who you are in the hopes that people will start tuh approve of you because they're never like the people who just choose that they don't like you and they just choose tuh find your faults will always like they will always see your faults and they will always yeah there's no convincing them otherwise and that's and if you're listening tuh this like this is the truth for all of us is that when you're looking for the good in life you're gonna find the good and you can focus on that and try tuh get like more of that and garner more of that but if you're focused on the negative whether it's in life or with your spouse or with a friend or at the workplace you're gonna find that and so if so sometimes if you've you know if you see that you're consistently feeling like you have quote-unquote bad luck or that this person's being wrong tuh you or they're not caring about you will try tuh think about the good that they do and, and, and so truly like for me with these whole boundary things like I've tried just I tried tuh kind of I've already tried that with some of these family members that just don't seem tuh care and um and, and so that's and then that's when the hurt comes is you know when you realize oh yeah you're actually all right and you are onto something and for whatever reason their life isn't aligning with yours and it's and that's okay but it doesn't mean it's not gonna hurt a little bit for the person who like wants it tuh be there but that's when you go out and find someone who wants tuh align their life with you or maybe their life already aligns and they just and you can serve each other you can love each other you can be there for each other and whether it's blood related or not like that will serve you better in life and so that's kind of where I think Doug and I are right now um but also for, for you listening if, if you're just finding yourself in this situation too just try tuh make sure you're not just trying tuh find the fault in someone because you don't want tuh get caught in that rabbit hole and there are people out there who just want tuh find the negative and then there are people out there who cut that down like don't allow that tuh happen tuh yourself because you will be miserable your whole life hating on someone else and just constantly finding their faults and constantly complaining about them is never going tuh bring you true happiness it really isn't and so think about you know yourself and like what you can do differently and try tuh bring the positive and so yeah I haven't been as vulnerable lately because it's been hard tuh be very honest tuh just share like my heart and then people are just going tuh attack me for it you know I'm sure but um but my goal in sharing this if we end up sharing this is that it helps the one person out there or I'm sure several really who are in the same exact boat who are you know trying tuh keep a friend that they've had forever but that friend's just not there or trying tuh maintain a relationship with one of your parents or your siblings or it shouldn't be hard it shouldn't be and you shouldn't have tuh change who you are and if you do then that's really just not the right person for you and, and you can talk tuh them about it of course and then if they're just combative, at the end of the day, I just say the best advice is find a therapist, and this book called Boundaries, and it's a little religious, and also a little kind of like, whoa, but I'm telling you, Chapter One, just give it – if you don’t' like it after that, don't even try, but like Chapter One, I was like, wow, I can see so much of myself in this, and I can see how could change, and I've got tuh promise you that it's been hurt along the way, but I have – we have, and our family has more positive days now than stressful, trying tuh like pull people in who don't really want tuh be there, trying tuh help them remember because they're gonna forget, like it's just – like yesterday was like the least stressful day ever, and we didn't have one person coming tuh our – or even Mother's Day, it was just us four, and you know, before I had kids, and I think – I saw someone else write this, but like before I had kids, I looked at the world as like everyone I encountered, and how can I be helpful tuh them, and that – like, but now it's like my world is my husband and my children. My world is within my four walls, and how do I love them and support them the best that I possible can, tuh help them become good – eventually like good husbands, a good wife, good mothers, good fathers, and good, good family members, and so …
DOUG IS SO PROUD OF HER AND THINKS SHE SHOULD ALSO BE PROUD OF HERSELF BECAUSE OF "HOW MUCH YOU HAVE GROWN FROM PEOPLE STARTING TO COMMENT ON SOCIAL MEDIA, AND YOU TRYING TO BRING THEM BACK OVER TO YOUR SIDE TO RECOGNIZING THE TOXICITY OF IT, AND SETTING BOUNDARIES." HE HAS TO TELL HER THAT IN THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS, SHE HAS "SPREAD MORE POSITIVITY, IN MY MIND, THAN ANYBODY, FOCUSING ON BEING THANKFUL AND GRATEFUL," AND A MESSAGE SHE IS PASSING ONTO THE KIDS WHO ARE REALLY STARTING tuh THINK ABOUT IT AND FOCUS ON IT, AND IT'S "DRIVEN BY YOU."
MORE RASPY WHINY TEARY VOICE: Oh, Gosh, Doug's that's the nicest comment that I could have ever received because I really want that for them … yeah, because I – because we could all fall into that where you see the negative and you just kind of focus on that, and I'm trying so hard not to, and tuh just – you know, pray more, and even meditate, and that has nothing tuh do with prayer, but like just rewire my brain tuh like the positive things and finding the positive and helping others, also because – honestly, and I want tuh raise my kid where they are not seeing the negative, they're seeing the positive in situations because life, regardless of who loves you, how much money you have, what home you live in, what car you drive, life is so much better when you're able tuh see the positive and you're able to, like lean into that more, and you're able tuh then attract people who are like that, and the Negative Nellies are just going tuh always be there talking their smack about you, and that's fine, but like, if you can find the positive, you can focus on that, and you're going tuh have such a happier life, and the Negative Nellies, unfortunately, like I still pray for them, I still hope for them, because it's sad – like they're not living a happy life. You can't be a hater tuh all these people and be happy. It's sad.
DOUG THINKS THEY ARE "living proof of it, because once we started tuh focus on happy, once we started focusing on being thankful and grateful, the people that we attracted are the people that we would want tuh be with … didn't happen overnight, but as soon as we started tuh rethink that, and really try tuh be positive and do positive things, and our prayers and with the kids and being thankful and finding good, and gratitude, you know, we attracted people into our lives that, you know, are going tuh be there – I mean, I feel these are now lifelong friends, and you know, all of that was attracted, and there has got tuh be something tuh that."
THE END, THEY MUST GO PICK UP THEIR DAUGHTER BUT ONLY AFTER THE FIVE-STAR REVIEW AND THEN "SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!"
DELUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSIONAL – THE BOTH OF THEM! And according to the AI program Jamie talks more than 90 percent of the time, and Dud, hardly ever.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/XIdus1PkoRM
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edit: can't figure out how to change the title to regular latino, i don't want the focus of this to be on the way i typed that, does it sound stupid? yeah, sure, but i don't want this discussion to be about the damn linguistics of it
I was just watching a video about immigration to the US on spanish speaking youtube and boy i had forgotten how reactionary the latino community in the US is. For context my family migrated there when i was younger but i yeeted out of there as soon as i could, no longer living there. But, like watching this video it reminded me of just HOW reactionary the latino community is both inside our countries but especially outside them and in the imperial core, and how honestly just gross towards new immigrants they are too. It’s especially jarring cause usually the most reactionary people are the ones that also migrated usually “illegally” (though the “legal” ones aren’t any better)
I even see it with my mom, who started out as a marxist (though a trot unfortunately) and now she’s just a racist reactionary lib that thinks all “illegal” migrants need to be deported, should stop having babies and also that the “ebil muslims” are destroying democracy and should be genocided (e.i she’s a hardcore zionist now too!)
and like, i know religion plays a role in it, but i don’t think it’s a huge one, i mean i’ve met reactionary latinos that aren’t religious so like what gives, why do y’all think our communities are so freaking reactionary

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/XIdus1PkoRM
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Hi auto transport community, I am hoping you could offer me some advice on how to handle a bad shipping situation.
SM transport quoted me $435 to ship from Texas to Florida. As it’s my first time shipping a car, I had no point of reference whether that was high or low. Since it was the best quote and its kind of an emergency situation I wasn’t exactly prepared for or anticipating (my mom wanted to drive herself to Florida to stay with me despite my warnings it was a bad idea and well being that she is elderly, she ended up in the hospital so I had to go pick her up), I took the offer.
I scheduled the pickup from the tow truck company for the day before our flight to Florida and they never arrived. And of course, now the payment is $200 more to get it picked up the next day.
I refused to pay that bc I literally signed papers that said the total would be $435, they promised it would get picked up on Monday at the price I signed for.
When that didn’t happen, I decided to cancel with them. I got my DP refunded to me and I booked another company. Keep in mind we are now in Florida and the car is still in Texas at the tow truck place - so we needed to get moving.
Now the new company is having trouble finding a driver bc SM transport refuses to take their listing down unless I pay them more money.
The new company said that SM transport listed the price for $700 on the leader board… so no wonder no one picked it up for $430.
What can I do? Is there anyway I can ensure they don’t do this to anyone else?
Helpful info:
The contract I signed said nothing about a cancellation fee or job termination fee or anything like that. They seem to just make up policies as they go.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/XIdus1PkoRM
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I created this reddit account to let this off my chest and I want to know if I'm okay.
I was born and raised for the first 6 years of my life with my parents, but me and my brothers moved to another country and my dad said that he will catch up to us and travel soon to live with us "soon"
Soon turned into 19 years... He never came to us, we kept on video-calling him, he kept sending us money (to me and my brothers and mother) my parents aren't separated, still married, but and I quote: "I have a business here, I cannot just leave everything and come to you"
He didn't have a secret life or anything we know him, we are Muslim and so was he, we don't do such stuff, he didn't cheat on my mom and he was working up to his eyeballs.
I loved him and we all loved him, my mother didn't love him as much because he preferred business over his family where he stayed in one country and we stayed in another...
He died due to heart related problems, doctors told him to do something and he did other things so it's like he wanted to die and he did, it was his own choice to ignore what the doctors advised him to do..
After he died I felt sad and heartbroken, but I did not shed a single tear, the only thing I was worried about is: who will send us money? I'm a student and I don't have a job...
A year later my family dog died, he was 15 years old and we grew up together... The messed up part is... I cried for 7 days, I would be in the shower, bed, standing, sitting.. I'd just punch the wall or my bed and just cry in anger because I couldn't do anything and I loved my dog, he was like my little brother...
I tried to show emotions, I tried to mourn him I tried and overthinking made me go nuts I don't know what is wrong with me... Why did the death of my pet best friend made me ooze up tears and the death of my father didn't hit me like it did with my pet? Am I sick? I was sad yes, but didn't I feel as devastated or depressed when I saw my dad's dead body on a video call, and whenever I thought of him..
I just wanted to let this off my chest and I want to talk to someone but I don't have anyone to talk to.. Thanks for reading