Didn't get me wrong, there was nothing terribly bad about the new trailer, but there is very little to show that they are staying true to the original trilogy.
I don't think it's fair to straight up bash the game for what they did sure, but there needs to be more. I'm sorry but some hobbs and a big frog are just not enough for my to have confidence in them.
Can we get some footage of any of the following?

• Custom Characters Creator
• Fat, Skinny, Tall, Short, Tattoos, Haircuts, clothing, etc.
• Demon Doors
• Crime
• Brothels
• Buying houses
• Magic System
• Good and Evil
• Dog or pet?
• Family, kids, marriage?
• Multiplayer or Co-Op
• Changing world based on your decisions.
• The Crucible

I'm sorry but I highly doubt this game comes out in 2025 based on the lack of footage, even if it does I am become more skeptical.

My memory is really fuzzy on this one so I apologize in advance. It's a PC game I played as a little kid.
I remember your character is an archaeologist or something similar (as an animal, i think a frog or a dog) who traveld to matchu pitchu, egypt, austrailiia and ther was diffrent kind's of puzzles at each location and as you got the *gems*? you could take them to your home base (which was also a puzzle to get in) and do something.
I remember clearly one of the puzzles was some kind of spell checking thing that i was rubish at because i couldn't write at the time.
It's a cartoonish and educational game, was part of a series, ran on a CD

I'm generally a big fan of Tao Wongs work, controversy aside. I was excited to see a new book. I Made it 25% of the way in before deciding to pass on this one.
Ultimately me finding our protagonist Matt unappealing prevented me from pushing further. It starts out with Matt getting fired for sticking to his work boundaries. But none of his coworkers seem to care about this and even Matt doesn't feel to bad about the situation. Lots can be dissected here but overall he didn't grab me, and then he agrees to essentially be isekaid with a bit of odd fetishing of others who might have also agreed.
Zap. The next new introduction and he's kind of an ass to those he's with. It gets bad when you look even a little bit deeper. Stripped of last names, borrowed bodies, the ass is now a "lord" with difference. But with a lack of communication/wonder. There is a whole unfashionablly tight pants on an old man that had me scratching my head.
Next we dive into the game like mechanics and "army" selection. There we get inconsistent world building. Historical cultures, yet not sentient, but only for humans before abandoning them for non-human options. The protagonist who wasn't even much of a gamer doesn't use his skills or smarts much in a very and waving selection process.
It all felt very incontinent with not quite understood stakes.
25% in there was little plot movement, understanding, antagonists, and appeal for the story. I was unsure of the promise setting up the book and shocked I'd already read a quarter of it.
I didn't get the vibe this might be ghost written, like I have when I read Krouts Lord January book. But it is such a drop off and I know some authors do that. So it wouldn't shock me.
1.5 of 5 stars. An unappealing mess from an author whose work I generally enjoy.
https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Kingdom-War-4x-LitRPG-ebook/dp/B0D343FD83?ref_=ast_author_mpb

Personally, I have full confidence that, if this game gained more traction, it could quite possibly win some sort of game award, which it rightfully deserves. I've spent countless hours meticulously strategizing and obsessing over different potential board layouts/situations, developing complicated, in depth plans of action for various positions to ensure the highest probability of success. I've developed these plans based off of years of research in cognitive psychology, and a sample size of matches I carefully analyzed and dissected that ranges a number in the tens of thousands. Unfortunately, throughout my expansive and, at times, bloody career, I've suffered from somewhat of a crisis regarding my future and my lack of room to develop further. Has anybody else suffered similar difficulties when playing games that are relatively simple such as this one? Thanks, I appreciate you reading this.
Regards,
John Bobbleleague

hiii i’m looking for someone to vent to real quick and just be friends with in the long run.
i promise im not just a venting person. but something came up to where im like ;-;
besides that:

i love video games! 2000s pop music is my favorite fav anime is absolutely sgt frog uhhh BALDERS GATE 3?!?!?! thor is my fav super hero

pls send a message if interested! i also text faster on discord

Hi everyone! I recently rediscovered Pocket Frogs and have been loving it! I first played it over a decade ago and am so happy to see it has the same charm as when I first played!
I lost all of my progress from when I first played the game, but these forums have been super helpful to relearn the ropes. Any and all advice is welcome!!
My friend code is 4PDQP!

Is there such a thing as finding too much treasure?
The Jonsie Burrows: Help Wanted 2: Tables of contents
Previous part: 8.9.
​
The new room could only be described as unfinished, you thought to yourself. You were passing under an arch of a building on your way through here and saw that hanging from it were supposed to be two drooping ropes with flags(or whatever this is supposed to be), but instead, you saw a purple digital polygonal imitation of it.
Other purple digital polygonal objects took the appearance of other real things in the area, but they lacked the what?-factor of the digital floating purple particles or what was going on with the ceiling of the room as it was a just purple grid. (Welcome to the AR world Jeremy. Glitchtrap's twisted wonderland.)
But this was all a distraction from the newly introduced threat in the form of Moon, as now you sought targets that prevent his deadly approach to your ride, all while you heard his chuckles.
In the next room, the situation was the same, except you saw different varieties of purple digital things pouring into the area. (Nice! it's the Princess Quest 3 purple pattern from Vanny's room and the purple arching energy from the wrecking ball in Roxy Raceway! I didn't notice them on the first watchthrough of the game, so it's nice to see and know what that connection is. Though now that I'm thinking about it, it's so weird that Princess Quest 4 shows no connection to anything, unlike its prequel.
Is it because the FNAF6's Pizzeria is so digitally distorted by Glitchtrap in the network that it doesn't show the tell-tale signs of the AR world or is it because the Pizzeria's sub-network isn't as connected to the greater network. Hmm... Something to look into later.)
As you continued to move through the area you saw more and more purple things just crawling throughout as you kept alert for specific targets to stall Moon. (Where in the world is this place? There's no such location we visit in Ruin that has this much wrecking ball energy flowing through it.)
But as you gazed about, you immediately spotted a blue blast-shaped button ahead and above on an arch. It's just like what the "message" depicted! Quickly you pointed your hand cannon at it and shot a couple times until you hit it. You were definitely on the right track now.
Passing under it, you were getting close to the double doors that lead to the next area, though curiously you saw purple digital particles that unlike before, were dripping from the ceiling like the floor above you was flooded.
(Okay, the only place that had to drip purple particles like this was the Upper East Server. That in addition to the purple grid on the ceiling above us, tells me we're directly under it, or really near to it. That sorta makes sense, because Foxy Log Ride is in/next to Glamrock Salon which is right next to the Upper East Server. It's so cool to be able to piece that together!)
But surprisingly, after going through those double doors, you were right back on the track heading towards a familiar area you had been to the first time you did this. Did the alternate paths weave in and out of the standard path? That must be it, you thought as you got all of the targets and headed to the next area where the train robbery scene takes place.
Immediately, after the lights flickered back on from the transitional darkness but before you enter the train robbery. You spotted another Helpy cutout and quickly shot it before you passed it.
Passed the train robbery scene is where you expected the path to diverge to the glitched route as you had taken to calling them, and lo and behold, as soon as you had gone through the train and through the double door at the end of it, you found yourself in a new area.
You heard Captain Foxy's voice once again as you entered the new route. "We be not responsible for any maimings that might happen on this here path." If you haven't already had a trip through an alternate path before, you're sure you'll be questioning how you would be maimed during the ride.
Your ride strolled ahead and entered chambers where you now had to shoot the targets to closed doors and block the Moon, rather than to earn points. However, as you did this, you heard people's laughter replacing the general ambiance of the ride. (I wonder if there's something with this.)
In these chambers, you shot another blue blast-shape button that you saw above near the ceiling, while you defended yourself from Moon's relentless drive to get to you on the ride.
But you eventually persevered through it all and made it back to the normal track again where you collected yourself by shooting at targets without worrying about the threat of Moon. But too soon to you, you found another Helpy cutout, which you shot of course, and was once again heading towards the dangerous alternate path. (Oh, I forgot to mention that these specific Helpy cutouts can be found in the original Pirate Ride in Help Wanted. And in Monty Golf and Superstar Daycare in Ruin. I wonder if Vanny had moved them there after the Help Wanted 2?)
This time noted by Captain Foxt with a simple "Overboard!"
The alternate path this time had no laughing ambiance and had you getting up close and personal with a dancing Moon unless you shot all the targets to make him go away from the platforms near where your ride gets the closest to them by turning on the lights. (Hmm... could this be a point against 1983 Moon? Why would 83 Moon be affected by light still? Also, is the laughing important? A hint to something?)
Another blue blast-shaped button was found and shot while on this path of constant danger, but with skill, awareness, and luck, you managed to get through it all. (Yeah I know there are gravestones in this specific area, but I'm not sure if it's referencing the missing 5 plus Charlie gravestone or if it's just props.)
Now you were back on the normal track, and as went through the next two areas you knew that the ride was coming to an end as you came upon the familiar comforting scene of Foxy and Chica along with other animals surrounding a cake and celebrating as you heard Captain Foxy say, "And the real treasure was friendship along."
(Both the scene and Captain Foxy's exact words are a call back to the original Pirate Ride in the first Help Wanted)
But as you stared at the scene, you finally realized that the cake itself had a blue blast-shaped button on it and proceeded to shoot it. To think that you were looking at it and didn't even realize it the first time you came through here. But now it's all over and you can finally see your improved score and get back to the restaurant.
Yet, as the lights flickered off and you moved forward in the darkness, you noticed something was wrong. The western-theme ambiance that was always there on the normal path came to an abrupt halt and left only silence and the everpresent noise of shifting water in its departure.
Suddenly the three spotlights lit up the path ahead of you, revealing to you a treasure chest on a miniscule island under the third one. As your ride got close to it, you noticed a couple of broken wooden boards on the side of the island, next to a crumple Pirate Foxy Flag.
As your ride came to a stop right next to the wooden box, it unexpectedly opened. (waaaaaaaait a minute! ITS THE CORN MAZE BOX!!! It's redesigned, but it's definitely it! Coincidently or is it Intentional? It has to be, they could have used an actual treasure chest for this, so it has to be intentional. Why? Memory Dolls... memories... William's Mask! It's the key to Glitchtrap!)
Gently, softly, the box's lid came open and a green costumed hand came out from the darkness within. The hand smoothly snaked out of the box until it was outstretched to you, revealing to you the treasure that it held in its palm. It was a doll, an unusual one at that, as it looked to be made by crocheting some wool into a human figure plushie. But stranger than that was the fact that it was wearing a Foxy mask.
You didn't know why, but you reached out to the hand, and hesitantly, grabbed the doll and watched as it poofed into purple smoke. The hand, with no doll in its grasp, sleeked backed into the box as the lid closed itself and your surroundings plunged into darkness.
Next thing you knew, the sound of celebrating cries filled your ears as you were back into the GAME WON! void. Stunned by the sudden change in your surroundings, you automatically hit the button for the crane machine to receive your prize with no thought. Your prize this time was a poster for Ballora titled DANCE!
Yet even though it was something new and interesting, your mind refused to be distracted from the bizarre event that just happened seconds ago. But no matter how much you tried to wrap your head around it, no matter how many times you tried to make sense of it, all you could blankly think is, what?
You felt strange, but you knew you had to keep moving forward. So you pressed the RETURN TO HUB button and returned to darkness to go back to the restaurant. Still, the sight of the Foxy doll never once left your mind.
Remember Jeremy? (the achievement for collecting the memory doll)
​
The achievement has twisted this Help Wanted phrase into a question. And finally, an answer was given to another. Everything is starting to make sense, but joy am I finding too much stuff! I reached my limit a couple Parts ago and now I'm beyond that!
But thankfully. Thankfully! we reached the end of Foxy Log Ride and now I can talk about Vanny, Vanessa, Jeremy, the Memory dolls, and even Glitchtrap now, because why not. What other discoveries while mentally exhausted from this stuff!
Don't worry, I know not to burn myself and take breaks. But still, I eventually have to come back to finish this, and that in itself creates mental fatigue. So let's finish this by starting with the long overdue conclusion of Double-V!
The last time we talked about this, I ended it by saying we'll go through the contradictions of Vanny's and Vanessa's character hinted in Ruin and Help Wanted 2. However, I want to go back a bit to when we were first introduced to Vanny as a character in Help Wanted the Curse of Dreabear.
It's only a few lines of dialogue, so it won't be long. Besides, Vanny apparently being a different person than Vanessa, means we can't exactly apply one's characteristics to the other. With Vanny only having so few lines and cameos in Security Breach, she is basically, completely unknown to us.
So what dialogue we know comes from her, needs to be under even heavy scrutiny for any hints of the personality and characteristics of our new villain.
Before we even start with her dialogue, something interesting has already happened in the preceding events. By finding and resembling the secret tapes and doing exactly what Tape Girl says in the final tape we attain the glitchy Glitchtrap plushie
"There is a way to kill it. It wants to escape. To escape through someone. Someone plugged into this game. That's you now. You have to let it begin the process of leaving through you, then use the disconnect switch that I've embedded by the main stage. Let it approach you. Let it begin to merge with you. Play the music and flip the switch*.* That will cause a hard restart of the game and flush the memory, effectively killing it, I hope. I don't know when it will come for you." -Tape 16
Now, we already know that this does not work at all in the slightest, as this method instead has Glitchtrap trapping and locking you up as he is let out of the game through the player's body that he now has control of. Digital Consciousness Transfer.
Next with the installment of the DLC, we acquire William Afton's old mask from the Corn Maze minigame after finding all four keys and the secret glitchy fifth key and head to the cellar where we discover the mask on a table on a candle.
With both of the items together worn and held respectively, we can hear the secret dialogue and the voice of Vanny for the very first time.
“Yes, I hear you. I know... No. There's no miscommunication... I understand... Yes, I have it. I made it myself. I think you would like it... No, no one suspects anything... Don't worry, I'll be ready, and I won't let you down. It will be fun.”
This means that the event that Vanny met Glitchtrap was, in fact, the ending of Help Wanted where you follow through on Tape Girl's deceptive instructions on digital transferring with Glitchtrap!
But right here, is where a slight problem occurs in the narrative of Vanny's story in the games. Vanny still has control of her body, she's still capable of defying Glitchtrap. Something that's been made clear to me through both Ruin and Help Wanted 2, is that Glitchtrap doesn't control Vanny at all.
Does he influence her? Yes. We see that in the way her costume is directly referencing him and the way she moves and dances.
Does he control her, however, that is where things get shaky. Because at this point in time, there hasn't been a single instance where Vanny is seen as someone being controlled.
Remember, we can't use anything that has to do with Vanessa to show that Vanny is being manipulated or controlled. So where in the new era games can you find Glitchtrap controlling Vanny?
You can't.
Does this mean she's doing this out of her own will? That is something that might've been more nuanced than what we all had perceived. Because I did it again, I've found more stuff! This time it's something important that everyone has missed in Help Wanted and it might well be the true origins of Vanny.
You see the base game of Help Wanted actually has a third ending to it. Or at least something that should be an ending. Besides, just completing all the minigames to get stuffed inside Freddy and following Tape Girl's 16th tape instruction, there's something else you can do that involves Glitchtrap.
That is let Glitchtrap complete the process of leaving through you.
I'm sure some of you are confused by what I'm talking about, but it's the sequence where you press the button and flip the switch, leading to the ending where Glitchtrap locks you up. I'm saying instead of doing that, do nothing and watch what happens next.
A blaring noise could be heard asGlitchtrap stretched his hand out to you. He spoke distortedly and unintelligible, while green cones of energy flowed out from him and toward you. In seconds, Glitchtrap's eyes turned red, the blaring noise increased its volume, and the energy cones became purple while your view became clouded in a purple haze. Soon purple spots began to appear on Glitchtrap's body, as the noise became too loud to your ears, and the energy cones became red as your vision was almost nothing but purple. Soon even Glitchtrap started to disappear into the purple as his body became pixelated by the purple, leaving only his general outline until even that became purple.
Finally, after your purple vision grew flickering bright and the blaring noise ceased, your vision slowly returned to you, accompanied by music and the sound of static from a monitor. (That's the same music that plays if you press the button on the side of the monitor and the static sound you're hearing is specifically from FNAF's 2 game over static.)
At first, your purple view distorted itself with pixels before the purple started to fade slightly as you could see the hub world. But your perspective was wrong, you were staring from the opposite side of where you were sitting, while the place you once stood at was empty.
Your vision, still overlayed with purple while distorted and pixelated, looked down as you brought your hands up. Your hands which were always outlined and seethrough, now looked solid and were covered by gloves of a familiar costume that you were just staring at a couple seconds ago.
As the purple started to overwhelm your distorted and pixelated vision again as you stared at your— Glitchtrap's hands, your mind was finally able to recognize the words that were being spoken to you by him.
"Can you hear me?"
If you want to see this for yourself, then I have two Youtubers that I managed to find, that did this. 99TH VR and 8-bitRyan.
After this, you're taken to the GAME OVER void. But what's unique about this void is that the monitor here never displays any quotes, no matter how many times you do this.
This ending that should've been, along with what "Tape Girl" said before finally reveal what exactly Vanny is.
"—Let it approach you. Let it begin to merge with you. —." -Tape 16
A merger, a fusion of two different beings, that's what Vanny is! This is why I was having so much trouble trying to figure out how Vanny came to be from the two "endings" we get from Help Wanted. The answer is neither of the two. She mostly came from the failed Tape Girl instructions scenario where Glitchtrap completes his merger with someone to get out of the game.
It also explains why we see gigantic Vanny in Help Wanted 2's consequences ending and adds even more reason why an altered EnemyBasic appears on her wall in the AR world! Vanny herself is not infected as we first believed, but rather a fused entity between Glitchtrap and someone else.
With this origin, she would still be able to traverse and interact with things connected to the network if she's plunged into it.
And considering what she's wearing in Security Breach and that the Security Mask and the occipital transponder are a technology that exists now in the current FNAF lore. She has every way she needs to stay connected to the Pizzaplex's network. But let's get back to her dialogue and dissect it.
"Yes, I hear you. I know... No. There's no miscommunication... I understand... Yes, I have it. I made it myself. I think you would like it... No, no one suspects anything... Don't worry, I'll be ready, and I won't let you down. It will be fun.”
We can immediately pinpoint a characteristic of Vanny with the entirety of this dialogue, willing and eager to please. I would also put young in that description, but I don't if it's because she's actually young here or that the voice actress has a bit of a youth tone to their voice.
Anyway, the "Yes, I have it. I made it myself. I think you would like it" part of her dialogue was already analyzed by me before, but let me elaborate on something I've been thinking about.
William's Mask has to be in the current Fazbear Entertainment's possession because the pizzaplex hasn't been built yet or is in the middle of being constructed by the time of Help Wanted's development or release since Cassie herself refers to it as an "old headset game", so the Security Mask isn't around just yet.
What I'm thinking here is that Vanny had come across it sometime to use as a reference for her costume. And make no mistake, Vanny's mask is making a callback to it as it's only a slight redesign and recolor to make it her own. Even Cassie makes notes of Vanny's mask being similar to the Security Mask by how she mistakes them for being the same.
But that doesn't sound right. Vanny wasn't working with Fazbear Entertainment when she met Glitchtrap, just under them through the second development team. Plus, most of the game was developed under a different team until it was in its beta version while Vanny's team had just come in to finish it to release it.
We have already seen what an object created solely by Glitchtrap looks like in Help Wanted in the form of his plushies, so we already know that he didn't recreate the mask in the game.
So maybe I'm thinking about this the wrong way. Both the mask and Grimm Foxy show up in Princess Quest, and we have already established how both important relate to William and Glitchtrap. And both are what are needed to destroy Glitchtrap.
Where did we first see that Mask? Not in the Help Wanted base game but in the Halloween DLC. That means the game was still being worked on even after its release, so Vanny would've had time to model this mask into the game. But why? I think these game-over quotes that show up only in Dreadbear are a clue.

• Report glitches before they spread.
• Don't look behind you.
• It's only a dream.
• Where am I?
• Purging system...

The report glitches quote, easily fits with what Vanny is talking about in with the "No, no one suspects anything." The "Where am I" part is intriguing, but I don't think I can pin that to Vanny. Hmm... I wonder if this is where our Golden Princess comes to be. It's something to look into later.
It's the "Purging system" part that is what I want to focus on here. This provides the needed explanation for things being the way they are now. Glitchtrap, the one that's not merged into Vanny, might've started running rampant during the DLC development, causing either Fazbear Entertainment or Vanny's development team to focus entirely on shutting him down.
The purging of the system might've been their solution for him. This might've worked too if Vanny wasn't already created by the time of the purging. And since Vanny is working under Glitchtrap here, she would've been in the perfect position to take Glitchtrap and everything he contains out of Help Wanted and into a developing game called Princess Quest(Working Title). Though, Vanny might've rushed the job under such circumstances, taking part of The Curse of Dreadbear's code along with Glitchtraps into the new game.
But that's all for now, I'll talk about that more when we get Princess Quest 4.
"I'll be ready, and I won't let you down. It will be fun.” This right here, more than anything, tells us that Vanny is not so much reluctant but more following in the Glitchtrap's order than we all first believed. But we shouldn't be so surprised about it.
Vanny's previous alias, "Reluctant Follwer", didn't come from any of the games, books, or even Scott's website but instead came from voices.com, a website Scott uses to find voice actors. The name is used as a guide for the actor and a descriptor for how the voice should be toned and acted.
The name is an oversimplification of a character for how they're going to sound in the one game they appear in, not all. So the name "Reluctant Follwer" would've only applied to Vanny in this game.
And as we see from Security Breach, Vanny is anything but reluctant to follow Glitchtrap's order. Yet after that game and as of Ruin and HW2, that name might been more appropriate now than it was back then as there appears to be a rift now between the two. But more on that at a later.
One last thing. With this origin in place, we now have another explanation for why we only hear Vanny's side of the conversation and not Glitchtrap's. We are hearing Glitchtrap's side of that conversation, he is her. It's the reason why her voice becomes echoey in her final word, fun.
Now let's finally get into the ties between Vanessa and the villains. Though...
​
Shoot! I made it too big again! Continue on here Part 8.999

So I know I'm probably in the minority but I absolutely love Megaman X3. I know it’s not perfect but I just have so much fun playing it. A common complaint that I hear is the insane amount of backtracking. It seems you have to backtrack to almost every level at least once if you wanna get everything.
So, this inspired me to think of some alternative routes. I've sorted them from easy to hard.

Easy route

The easy route may seem like a pain in the ass but if you want an easier experience, this is the way to go.
In the easy route, you travel from stage to stage, collecting any upgrades that easy to get or don't require any special weapon, then leaving. Here's what I've come up with:
Start with Tunnel Rhino. The sub tank in his stage is fairly early on and absolutely free.
Then go to Blizzard Buffalo. His stage has a free leg upgrade and a free sub tank. They are near the end of the stage which is kind of a downside. I recommend fighting Blizzard Buffalo now since he's not that hard and his weapon is great for filling up sub tanks. There's an area I've used since I was a kid. In Buffalo's stage, the first indoor section of his stage has two small purple enemies perpendicular to eachother. If you use Buffalo's weapon Frost Shield, they will always, and I repeat, ALWAYS drop health. You can fill up 4 sub tanks in less than 5 minutes.
Neon Tiger's stage has a free sub tank and a free heart. Go ahead and grab both.
Next up is Blast Hornet. Her stage has the neutral ride armor which you need to get the other ride chips. While you're at it, you may as well grab the free heart you'll find near the same area.
With the ride armor, you'll be able to get the sub tank in Volt Catfish's stage and the heart in Crush Crawfish's stage. Volt Catfish's stage also has a heart that's fairly easy to grab (although you may have to sacrifice one of your lives as it is over a bed of spikes)
Toxic Seahorse's stage is next. It has a free heart fairly early on and since you have Frost Shield, go ahead and fight Toxic Seahorse.
If you've done all the steps correctly, you should have a leg upgrade which grants access to the air dash and the upward air dash, 5 hearts and all the sub tanks. From here, play the game like normal, grabbing any upgrade that may have been unavailable before. Assuming you've beaten Blizzard Buffalo, go Seahorse > Rhino > Catfish > Crawfish > Tiger > Beetle > Hornet.

Normal route

This is the most basic route. Look up any Mega Man X3 boss order online and that's what this is. The boss pattern is the same as the one you do in the easy route except you don't have all the upgrades. I don't recommend this for beginners, unless you like a good challenge.

Hard route

Time for my favourite route and by far, my favourite. I originally wanted to make a MMX3 route with as little backtracking as possible and I did just that. Now, what makes it hard mode? You'll be fighting the girst 4 bosses buster only. They're surprisingly not that hard buster only. May take you a few tries though. With my optimized pattern, you only have to backtrack a single time. Here's the route:
Tunnel Rhino

• Free subtank to start
• Defeat Rhino for Tornado fang

Blizzard Buffalo

• Use Tornado Fang to get secret heart
• Get sub tank
• Get leg upgrade

Blast Hornet

• Use air dash to get heart
• Get ride armour

Neon Tiger

• Get sub tank
• Use Tornado Fang to get arm upgrade
• Get heart

Toxic Seahorse

• Get heart
• Get Kangaroo armor with charged Frost Shield

Gravity Beetle

• Get heart
• Use air dash to get Frog armor

Volt Catfish

• Get heart
• Get sub tank
• Use fully charged Gravity Well to get armor upgrade

Crush Crawfish

• Use fully charged Triad Thunder to get Hawk armor
• Get heart with ride armor

Tunnel Rhino revisit:

• Use fully charged Triad Thunder to get heart
• Use fully charged Triad Thunder to get helmet upgrade

Conclusion

X3 isn't a perfect game but I love just how much variety there is in boss patterns. Whether you like it, don't like it or never even tried it, I hope you give one of my routes a shot. Hard is definitely my favourite. It's super satisfying to grab almost everything on the first go. Thanks for reading and have an awesome day!

So i try to make a small "retro gaming station" on top of my multimedia server mini-PC. It works alright, except for a controller. I use a replica of Dualshock 4 from DataFrog. Under Windows it works as basic controller, and works perfectly fine with DS4Windows installed.
On Linux, i'm facing some difficulties.
At first i installed a XFCE Arch-based distro. It failed to pair with a controller. I googled a lot, and found some threads that suggests downgrading Bluez to 5.68. It worked...to some degree.
I switched distros (mainly to test different flavours) to KDE-based release. And sadly it fails to connect even with Bluez 5.68. Like at all - i'm stuck at "Configuring Wireless Controller" when i try to pair, and it fails after some time.
I returned to XFCE-based distro, it works with BlueZ downgraded to 5.68.
I found out that...

1. Strangely, "default" bluetooth GUIs fails to connect on Budgie, KDE and so on. Meanwhile, blueman manages to pair with all "DS4" functional - touch panel works, LEDs turns dark blue (white\light blue "normally"). The problem is - blueman will only connect to gamepad when it's in pairing mode, and thus it can't reconnect. So if i disable Bluetooth and enable it back- i gotta turn gamepad to pairing mode, AND i have ot "pair" it manually in blueman. It works, but i just can't have it that way, as i won't be the only one to use it, as i would have to keep a mouse next to my TV just to connect gamepad. No couch experience.
2. When trying to pair it with Bluetoothctl i get a authorization failed in btmon. It paires in Bluetoothctl, but disconnects right after that. The gamepad is either disables LEDs and does a silent "pop" sound (it has some sound functions, mainly to connect a wired headphones and use them over BT), or turns LED to white\light blue, same silent "pop", and it disconnects. It can be paired and\or trusted- no difference. When i pair it with blueman - it pairs alright and sends a whole bunch of information.

I've used the same controller in EmuELEC, and it had a kinda simillar problem (it needed to be paired every time, but worked fine after that). But i do remember finding a solution on EmuELEC's github that worked, and it managed to run 2 of this gamepads with full feature set (1 with blue LED coloring, 1 with red blue coloring, both connecting in discovery mode, not pairing mode). iirc- that was the fix i applied for EmuELEC: raw.githubusercontent.com/EmuELEC/EmuELEC/v4.6/packages/sx05re/emuelec/bin/batocera/emuelec-bluetooth , but i don't really know how to apply it to basic Linux.
If any logs needed- i' m willing to provide it, really want this stuff to work.

Hi, so I wanted to see if someone could help explain this phenomenon to me. I have heard all about vasovagal syncope, and I'm sure I have it BUT only towards humans for some reason..
For example: I once did a biomedical summer camp, and the second the instructor put a needle towards a volunteer to get their blood drawn, I could feel myself getting faint. I went to a human cadaver lab a few months ago, and I lost my vision, couldn't hear anything and had to leave the room. Yesterday, I was playing pickleball with my friends, we got a little aggressive and I cut my finger. It started bleeding and I passed out. This also happens whenever I go to get my blood drawn.
Now here's the weird part. I'm completely fine with animal blood/cadavers. In AP Bio I dissected pigs, sharks, frogs, with no problem. In fact, I was doing most of the dissections while my groupmates were watching. My teacher was like "I can't believe you're vegetarian when you seem to be enjoying the dissections so much!" I worked as a hospital attendant for a little and I saw dogs get their blood drawn and cleaned up blood all the time, no problem. I didn't feel faint or nauseus at all!
WHY IS THISSSS!! This is why I know I could never go into human medicine because I don't find bodies or blood gross but my subconscious just immediately goes faint. Good thing I want to go into veterinary medicine anyways, but i still wish to know why I'm like this!

Lifetime - Staked: 935.9u, Profit/Loss: +11.97u, ROI: 1.28%, Parlay Suggestions: 179-72 Dog of the Week: 13-19, Picks: 14-11 (56% accuracy)
2024 - Staked: 288.8u, Profit/Loss: -21.39u
As always, scroll down for UFC Vegas 93 Breakdowns. The following is just a recap of last event’s results.
~UFC Louisville (PREVIOUS CARD)~
Staked: 14.75u
Profit/Loss: -3.84u
Parlay Suggestions: 2-3
Dog of the week: Jared Cannonier ❌
Picks: 6-8
I just can’t seem to get it right on these fight night cards. Last night’s card certainly wasn’t great for me in terms of reads, but once again there was no luck on my side. The Rosas over 1.5 missed out by eight seconds, and obviously the Cannonier stoppage was widely regarded as contentious. I’m definitely going to be thinking about limiting my exposure to these kind of events, because I just can’t seem to make it work this year. I’ve got 28u profit on PPV cards this year, with 34% ROI. It’s time I paid attention to that and stopped losing money for fun on these low level competitions.
The goal for me is obviously going to break even by the end of the year, which is a miserable game to be playing, but one I believe I can achieve.
~UFC Vegas 93~
Woo, more Apex!
Worth re-iterating again that throughout the month of June I will be cutting a few corners regarding some fights I have no interest in betting. I’m on holiday the week I would otherwise be writing the UFC 303 McGregor write up, and I obviously don’t want to miss my usual Sunday release…so I am working hard to get ahead of schedule and get it all ready for before I fly.
Let’s get into it.

~Alex Perez v Tatsuro Taira~
Amazing how quickly things can turn around in MMA. Literally at the start of this year I was clowning Perez for being inactive, questioning his commitment to his career, and generally dismissing him and considering a fade at any appropriate opportunity. Fast forward six months and he’s potentially in the title picture with a win here, and a guy who cost me money last time.
Perez is talented, I’d always known it. I bet him to beat Figgy back in the day, and I do believe he could have given a great account of himself had he not been sloppy and gotten caught in the early submission. Alex has good striking, and great wrestling…which at Flyweight makes him a serious competitor. I even said in my breakdown for the Mokaev fight that if Alex somehow managed to get back to his best, he’d be a tough fight for Mokaev, or any grappling-based opponent in the division.
We’ve seen a real demonstration of Perez’s abilities this year alone. He showed his potential in the close loss to Mokaev, defending 17 of 20 takedown attempts and just generally muting the successes of Mokaev’s elite crotch-sniffing and mat return wrestling. He parlayed that impressive performance with a main event win over Matheus Nicolau, a well-rounded competitor that has been on the cusp of a title shot for some time. Perez’s striking looked great in that one, and he once again demonstrated that he has sneaky power too.
This main event spot against Tatsuro Taira is obviously going to lend itself more to the Mokaev performance from an analytical perspective, as the undefeated Japanese fighter is obviously a grappler at heart. When you consider Alex Perez’s aforementioned takedown defence against Mokaev, this one gets really interesting.
Tatsuro is clearly taking a massive step up in competition here, with his highest calibre opponent across five UFC appearances otherwise being CJ Vergara or Carlos Hernandez. In most of those fights, Taira has enjoyed grappling control time in approximately half the time he’s been inside the cage, which indicates he’s yet to really be tested in an area where he isn’t comfortable. He has scored knockdowns in two of his fights, but that finishing sequence against Hernandez most recently was pretty much the only time I’ve seen his striking has looked impressive. It’s not bad typically…just very obviously not his strong suit, and he doesn’t really do anything out at distance except jab and lowkick to set up his takedown.
The key difference here when comparing Taira to Mokaev is wrestling cardio. Mokaev’s averaging almost six takedowns per 15 minutes – he invites opponents to stand back up so he can ragdoll them back down. Taira is a different type of grappler, where most of his opponents stay grounded, and a finish comes soon after. The most he has ever landed in a fight is three. It doesn’t mean he can’t wrestle relentlessly…but there is a nuanced difference when it comes to the type of grappler you are.
So can Taira keep wrestling for 25 minutes? Obviously we cannot say for sure, but it wouldn’t surprise me if the Japanese phenom looks very human and beatable if this fight makes it to round three. I’m expecting Perez to ask serious questions of Taira if they spend extended moments on the feet, and the only way to stop that from happening is with a finish, or the ability to land takedowns.
I’m not convinced that Taira’s going to be able to take and hold down Perez, and I’m also not convinced he gets the better of him on the feet. Whilst that statement was true in the Mokaev fight, the British wrestler still managed to defeat Perez…but that was across 15 minutes, and Mokaev has proven he’s got the cardio to pull of that kind of style for a very long length of time.
The early submission threat could definitely be live, and there’s no reason to believe that Taira can’t still win rounds without having to dive for a takedown every 10 seconds. Perez may be coming off a great performance against Nicolau, but he’s still an untrustworthy fighter that makes sloppy mistakes occasionally. His redemption arc began with that competitive performance against Mokaev, but if we’re being honest he actually fumbled a winnable opportunity with a very lacklustre third round.
So in my opinion, this line is too wide…but I don’t trust Perez enough to take the gamble on him here. If this was up in the +200 range then I’d be tempted, but I Perez is still in the untrustworthy category for me, so I just can’t do it at +160. It’s a pass for me, but Perez is the pick.

How I line this fight: Alex Perez +120 (46%), Tatsuro Taira -120 (54%)
Bet or pass: None
Prop leans: Taira Submission early, would probably be the angle I’d look towards.
Live Betting Leans: If Taira goes bat shit with the grappling, there’s a potential angle for Perez to turn the tables here.

~Tagir Ulanbekov v Joshua Van~
The unique selling point of MMA is that it challenges fighters to be equally diverse at striking and grappling disciplines. That’s why we love it, but damn do I wish they’d sometimes consider what they’re doing when they book certain matchups. I understand that the Flyweight talent pool is smaller so options are much more limited, but it’s still frustrating.
Reason being, Joshua Van looks like a very intriguing and exciting striker, but we are only just at the start of his journey to becoming a fan favourite. It’s far too soon to be throwing him in against a Dagestani wet blanket that’s likely going to cuddle him for 15 minutes and tarnish Van’s hype and prospect status. Let the guy marinate a little before you decide his fate. Especially at 22 years old!
Having said that, I’ve no idea if Van’s got the defensive capabilities to win this one. We haven’t seen him face takedowns from anyone who is anywhere near the level of calibre of Tagir Ulanbekov, and without that we can’t even begin to predict how this fight should go. Furthermore, he’s managed to get up pretty well any time he has been taken down, so our knowledge on his defensive grappling is even weaker.
Van is a great striker, so I would expect him to be leading the dance and winning the bout on the feet, but again that lack of experience could easily eat into his confidence and create a reluctance to commit to his striking. We see it time and time again in a striker vs grappler matchup, where suddenly the striker puts on a low volume and outright bad performance on the feet…it’s because they worry that if they throw with any sort of force they’ll be off balance and susceptible to being taken down. Cast your mind back to rounds 2 and 3 of Cesar Almeida vs Roman Kopylov a few weeks ago to see what that looks like.
So I’ve simply got to agree with Tagir being the favourite here. He has proven himself to be a high-level wrestler, his style could naturally nullify Van’s best qualities…and I also just do not have the evidence to believe Van is going to have the tools to stop Tagir’s grappling. Especially at his age. I never used to be particularly high on Tagir as a prospect as he’d had a few underwhelming performances, but the way he dominated Cody Durden was certainly eye-opening to me.
I can’t have too much confidence here considering Van could have Jose Aldo level takedown defence, but it’s likely he doesn’t and that this too much, too soon. I think the line on Ulanbekov should be shorter than I was able to get him. So I played him for 2u at -167. This is more of a play based on experience and logic, than any tape-based stylistics, but I just had to at that price.
How I line this fight: Impossible to say for sure, but Tagir should probably be trusted at -200 or slightly steeper.
Bet or pass: 2u Tagir Ulanbekov to Win (-167)
Prop leans: None, no idea of Van’s defensive abilities.

~Shayilan Nuerdanbieke v Melq Costa~
A showdown between Steve Garcia’s bitches!
Melq Costa has had a weird UFC career so far, he’s either getting dominated, or dominating opponents. He got the opportunity to show off his ability against everyone’s favourite Ai-generated UFC 5 character, Austin Lingo, but that’s not really saying much. No shame in getting shut down and submitted by Thiago Moises, but getting womped by Steve Garcia isn’t the greatest look.
Shaylian Nuerdanbieke is also coming off a loss to Steve Garcia, where Garcia came back from the brink of defeat after a dangerous opening round. It put an end to a run of three successive UFC wins, but the kind of opponents Shaylian was beating were all lower level and similar.
I honestly don’t know what to make of this one. I don’t really know why Melq Costa is -200 here because I think he’s proven untrustworthy enough to not warrant that price, but I’m not sure if Nuerdanbieke is being flattered by facing lower comp. Either way, I didn’t want to look into it any further from that point. Pass from me.
How I line this fight: I didn’t tape it.
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Ikram Aliskerov v Antonio Troccoli~
Third time lucky for Troccoli trying to make his UFC debut? You’d think that by now I’d have done some tape on the guy, given he’s been waiting to get in there for some long.
15-1 Ikram Aliskerov is one hell of a guy to debut against though…Ikram looks like he could be the real deal. He’s dusted three opponents with complete ease in DWCS/UFC so far, and his only professional loss comes against none other than Khamzat Chimaev.
I’ve no idea about Troccoli, so that’s as far as I can go. Given the high finishing rate of both men, and this being a 205lbs fight, it feels like the -1000 price available on Aliskerov may not have any value (no shit!)…and I obviously don’t want to bet Troccoli on the return. Easy pass, but I’m sure it’s another showcase for an interesting prospect in Aliskerov.
How I line this fight: No idea specifically but Aliskerov large fav.
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None, there literally cannot be value on Aliskerov’s props unless you’re playing contrarian

~Garrett Armfield v Brady Hiestand~
Garrett Armfield impressed me in that recent performance against Brad Katona. I rated Brad’s minute winning ability very highly before the big focus was put on fight ending intentions, so I definitely made a mistake in trusting him in that spot. Katona’s not a dangerous fighter, so his style relies on domination and flawless defence these days. Damage and fight ending intentions are key factors to consider – and a great example of that is the first round of Brady Hiestand’s win over Fernie Garcia – he won 80% of the minutes in the round, but he got dropped momentarily in the first 20 seconds with one punch and all three judges gave it go Garcia.
Hiestand is riding a hard fought two-fight winning streak coming into this one. I don’t think Danaa Batgerel or Fernie Garcia are comparable wins to Brad Katona, and even less so when you actually dissect them. All three of Hiestand’s UFC fights have seen him get knocked down (unofficially with Garcia, but it was treated like one by the judges!), which is obviously a huge concern…especially when you consider he’s not even a super dangerous guy once he gets top position.
Hiestand’s standup isn’t threatening at all. You can tell he’s uncomfortable. He tries to sit at range and throws a kick or a single punch as he bides his time for his next takedown attempt, but he does so whilst backing up the entire time, so anyone with decent sprawling abilities should be able to see them coming. He is counter-able right after that initial shot too, as Danaa Batgerel figured out.
When Hiestand does get top control time it’s also pretty ugly. He’s very erratic and tries too hard to force a submission attempt (he tries to wrap the arm around for an RNC when he’s got nothing else going on the set up), and it often results in him getting reversed. I saw him end up on his back from having his opponent’s back at least three times. A good scrambler on the mat should have no trouble staying safe, and ultimately finding their way back to the feet if they’re patient.
Hiestand’s biggest strength is definitely his cardio, which was solely responsible for his win over Danaa. That was a very weird stoppage, as Danaa definitely wasn’t defending himself, but the punches from Hiestand were pretty inoffensive that I would imagine Danaa could have gladly eaten them for another 90 seconds and gone on to won an easy 29-28. He did gas though, as he didn’t protest what would otherwise have been a very brutal loss to suffer. It wasn’t exactly an impressive finish from Hiestand, he got very lucky to win that fight as the finish came 100% from Danaa gassing/quitting.
So how does Armfield matchup against all that info on Hiestand? Very well, I think. He’s got nice pressure and great hands that he throws in high volume. His performance against Kazama was basically the exact outcome he wants here. He fights with a low stance to pre-empt the takedown. Against Katona it was more of the same, and despite getting taken down four times he still defended five. He got straight back up every time he was taken down as well. They were mostly bodylock attempts, but I think his defence of single/double legs is better than his bodylocks. He got tired in the third against Brad (it was a high pace fight). But still got up off a takedown in the 14^th minute.
So I think Armfield’s got a very favourable match in front of him. Hiestand’s performance against Danaa was a clear indication that he cannot hang on the feet with a lower-level UFC opponent, so Armfield really should do work with the hands. He’s proven competent enough at stopping Hiestand’s only route to a victory also, so I think this one’s a gift for him. I initially wrote that -200 wasn’t steep enough, so I’m surprised the line continues to get better on him. I’ve played him for 3u at -170 (which is rare these days).
How I line this fight: Garrett Armfield -300 (75%), Brady Hiestand +300 (25%)
Bet or pass: 3u Garrett Armfield to Win at -170
Prop leans: Might be tempted by Armfield KO, serious levels on the feet and Hiestand’s been dropped by everyone he’s fought in the UFC so far.

~Asu Almabaev v Jose Johnson~
Asu Almabaev is looking very impressive, isn’t he? The way he dominated Ode Osbourne was certainly eye-opening, but the way he made light work of CJ Vergara was equally appealing to me. I’ve always said CJ’s a hard guy to look good against, and we also got to see Asu’s cardio look totally fine across 15 minutes.
He faces Jose Johnson for his third UFC appearance. Jose’s been a back-and-forth kind of guy. He has to fight hard for his wins, because he’s like a magnet for grappling. I don’t know how, but the guy has next to no ability to maintain distance and keep fights striking – where he wants them. He’s not a bad grappler when he is on the mat, but it’s still not his preferred place. He also gives up his back worse than anyone I’ve ever seen.
All of that will be music to the ears of Almabaev, who likely justifies his -400 price tag and smothers Johnson with grappling. It’s all well and good showing good grappling ability on top and bottom against Anheliger and Jack Cartwright, but Almabaev is a whole different league. Almabaev likely smokes him here. I played Almabaev in a parlay with Josefine Knutsson for 2u at -110.
How I line this fight: Asu Almabaev -400 (83%), Jose Johnson +400 (17%)
Bet or pass: 2u Assu Almabaev to Win (parlayed with Josefine Knutsson at -110)
Prop leans: Likely a submission win for Asu with the way Johnson gives up his back!

~Miles Johns v Douglas Silva de Andrade~
Miles Johns is an impressive and well-rounded fighter, but he lacks a killer instinct and sometimes has questionable cardio. Whilst those flaws are still good enough for him to get the better of guys like Vince Morales and Cody Gibson, he’ll struggle against more dangerous opponents that can match his pace, throw power, and not get stuck on the bottom.
Douglas Silva de Andrade strikes me as the kind of guy who fits into the latter category there. We know he hits hard, we know he has sneaky submission ability, and we know he can go a confident 15 minutes. He’s never been a high level minute winner, but he’s got the explosiveness to turn the tide of a round in an instant.
It’s not my usual way of thinking or breaking down a fight, but de Andrade just strikes me as the kind of guy who is going to benefit from the recent dismissal of USADA. He’s Brazilian, he’s absolutely jacked, and he’s at that age where he might need a little bit of help in keeping up with the younger guys in the division.
That’s a thought I cannot ignore unfortunately, so it’s enough for me to not want to get involved here. I do lean towards Miles Johns and I did initially want to consider betting him, but 2024 has definitely been a year where a lot of older guys have had a resurgence – fading older fighters is not the reliable narrative that it used to be. I pick Johns, but it’s a pass.
How I line this fight: Miles Johns +100 (50%), Douglas Silva de Andrade +100 (50%)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Lucas Almeida v Timmy Cuamba~
Chaotic and explosive hard hitter that cannot defend a takedown faces off against Man not good enough to win on DWCS.
Much variance. Just going to pass on this one.
How I line this fight: Didn’t tape
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

~Nate Maness v Jimmy Flick~
Nate Maness is not good enough to be -400 in the UFC. His game revolves around mauling via takedowns.
Jimmy Flick is very, very one dimensional, in that he is submission from guard or bust in pretty much every fight. Whilst sometimes that’s a terrible predicament that leads him to get absolutely destroyed by good strikers…Nate Maness’ style could hand Flick is path to victory on a platter.
Jimmy Flick fights are silly, and the betting odds are always tricky. Flick looks like massive value at the start, but when it falls apart it looks awful.
Easy pass for me. If you wanted to roll the dice, Flick by Submission is the best value bet you can make here.
How I line this fight: Nate Maness -300 (75%), Jimmy Flick +300 (25)
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: Flick by Submission to get the best out of his price.

~Adam Fugitt v Josh Quinlan~
A striker vs grappler affair, but neither guy is particularly good at their side of the duel. Adam Fugitt is an energetic grappler that’s keen to get in your face, but he’s not got the best top control and he can be deterred by a hard hitter.
Josh Quinlan is a guy I’ve been keen to fade since he got the UFC contract, because he very much seems like a R1 finisher or bust. He’s super aggressive and will go hard for the finish, but does leave himself open to being finished himself. Furthermore, he just isn’t a particularly good minute winner either.
I could very easily see Quinlan hitting that early finish against an opponent like Fugitt who isn’t defensively sharp or earning of respect. I could also easily see Fugitt surviving and turning the tide in the second and third. I lean towards Quinlan because I think Fugitt’s approach in the opening round will be asking for trouble, but there’s no way I’d bet on the moneyline here.
How I line this fight: Adam Fuggit +125 (45%), Josh Quinlan -125 (55%)
Bet or pass: None
Prop leans: Betting Quinlan early would probably be the way I’d go, if I had to.
Live Betting Leans: If we’re still going into R2, Fugitt’s chances should increase as Quinlan’s dangerousness fades.

~Carli Judice v Gabriella Fernandes~
Interesting that we’ve got another DWCS split decision loser that’s making a UFC appearance after not getting signed…despite not fighting since. The DWCS fighter laundering continues, as now you don’t even need to win to get a fucking contract.
I actually bet Judice in her DWCS fight. I expected her to have the higher volume and just completely out-hustle her opponent, but weirdly that’s exactly what her opponent did to her. It was a weird one because my read was perfect, just that the other fighter implemented it haha. I also bet Karackaite in her UFC debut, so nice to reclaim a bit of the money lost.
I still think Judice is decent enough for a fighter so inexperienced, and she’s more than just a woman with a 3-1 record. Gabriella Fernandes has historically been unable to stuff a takedown also, which is an interesting narrative that I’m beginning to think about more in the future. I’ve lost two bets this year (Cesar Almeida and Robelis Despaigne) because I didn’t expect their opponents to exploit the obvious grappling disadvantage, so I think it’s worth considering it could be in play for Judice here.
I understand the difference in experience, but this line seems ridiculously wide to me. You simply cannot trust a fighter with bad takedown defence and next to no get ups at -2XX. Judice also isn’t a bad striker, so I don’t think she’s going to get completely obliterated in Fernandes’ world either…so I absolutely can see a path to victory for her.
I’m not going to say I have any idea where the line really should be, but I think fading Fernandes specifically at this price is a totally viable option. I will therefore have 0.5u on Carli Judice at +210.
How I line this fight: Hard to say but definitely not this wide.
Bet or pass: 0.5u Carli Judice to Win (+210)
Prop leans: Judice by Decision, probably

~Julia Polastri v Josefine Knutsson~
I can’t remember if I broke this fight down the first time before it got cancelled, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. I bet Knuttson originally at -250, and luckily for me the price actually got better this time around.
Polastri is a fighter I’m familiar with. She’s rangey, and she’s a decent enough striker. She will finish opponents that aren’t on her level, but her awful takedown defence means that her level will always sit somewhere in the middle of the division.
Josefine Knutsson is quite young in her MMA career, but she’s definitely showing some serious promise. She’s got a decent kickboxing record, and was regarded as one of the best P4P female kickboxers before she transitioned over to MMA. In short, I expect her to have a striking advantage against most opponents, Polastri included.
But what makes this one a confident pick, and what makes Knuttson -225, is that she has used her advantage in the standup to dedicate time to working on her grappling. We saw that in her UFC debut – she may have been fighting a can that had no business being in the cage with her, but she was able to show off her grappling, which looked to be at a pretty decent level. It’s probably still a work in progress, but Polastri’s aforementioned lack of takedown defence should make things much easier to the Swede.
So to summarise, Knutsson should be the better striker, and she can easily mix in the takedowns and win with offensive grappling if she needs to. In a sport like WMMA where the ‘puncher’s chance’ is much less reliable an outcome, I struggle to see how Polastri asserts herself as the dominant fighter here. -250 isn’t short enough, so I’ve got Knutsson in a 2u parlay with Asu Almabaev at -110.
How I line this fight: Josefine Knutsson -300 (75%), Julia Polastri +300 (25%)
Bet or pass: 2u Josefine Knuttson to Win at -110 (parlayed with Asu Almabaev)
Prop leans: None

~Jeka Saragih v Westin Wilson~
Jeka Saragih lost to Anshul Jubli, who has gone on to show you how low level the Asian MMA scene really is. I don’t think many/any of the fighters that came from Road to UFC are going to stick around too long, and Saragih is likely to be included in that. He got a shock win against Lucas Alexander last time (shoutout to me for suggesting that might happen), but a 90 second KO is a great way to fugazi the fans into thinking you’re better than you actually are.
Westin Wilson is a roleplayer who isn’t fit to fight in LFA, let alone the UFC. It’s an absolute joke that he’s fighting for a second time in the company.
Jeka is -300. Horrible price for someone of his calibre, but I understand why Wilson is being given so little chance himself. An ugly fight, and a betting line that captures that well. Just pass.
How I line this fight: no.
Bet or pass: Pass
Prop leans: None

Bets (Bold = been placed)
2u Tagir Ulanbekov to Win (-167)
3u Garrett Armfield to Win (-170)
2u Asu Almabaev & Josefine Knutsson to Win (-110)
0.5u Carli Judice to Win (+210)
0.25u Parlay Pieces (+400)

Parlay Pieces: Tagir Ulanbekov, Asu Almabaev, Josefine Knutsson, Garrett Armfield
Dog of the Week: Carli Judice
Picks: Alex Perez, Tagir Ulanbekov, Ikram Aliskerov, Shayilan Nuerdanbieke, Miles Johns, Timmy Cuamba, Asu Almabaev, Nate Maness, Josh Quinlan, Carli Judice, Josefine Knutsson, Jeka Saragih,

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. social media, junk food, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
_____
Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
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The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
.

The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
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Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
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Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

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Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. Also consider talking to your smoking or drinking buddies about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

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Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
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2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
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3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
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4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
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5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
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6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
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7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
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8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
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You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
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Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
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Previous Posts:
1. You Didn't Waste Your Life — You Can Always Make a Comeback
2. Healing Heartbreak — How to Move On from Breakups
3. How to Get Motivated & Disciplined — Why Forcing Yourself to “Just Do It” Ironically Doesn’t Work
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[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something.” This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void.
Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. phone, social media, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
_____
Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
.

The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
.

The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
.
Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
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Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

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Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. So consider talking to your friends about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

.

Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
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2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
.
3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
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4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
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5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
.
6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
.
7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
.
8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
.

You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
.
Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
.

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. social media, junk food, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
_____
Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
.

The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
.

The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
.
Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
.

Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

.

Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. Also consider talking to your smoking or drinking buddies about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

.

Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
.
2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
.
3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
.
4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
.
5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
.
6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
.
7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
.
8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
.

You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
.
Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
.

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. social media, junk food, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
_____
Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
.

The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
.

The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
.
Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
.

Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

.

Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. Also consider talking to your smoking or drinking buddies about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

.

Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
.
2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
.
3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
.
4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
.
5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
.
6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
.
7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
.
8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
.

You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
.
Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
.

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. social media, junk food, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
_____
Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
.

The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
.

The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
.
Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
.

Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

.

Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. Also consider talking to your smoking or drinking buddies about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

.

Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
.
2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
.
3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
.
4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
.
5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
.
6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
.
7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
.
8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
.

You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
.
Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
.

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. social media, junk food, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
_____
Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
.

The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
.

The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
.
Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
.

Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

.

Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. Also consider talking to your smoking or drinking buddies about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

.

Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
.
2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
.
3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
.
4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
.
5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
.
6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
.
7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
.
8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
.

You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
.
Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
.

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. social media, junk food, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
_____
Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
.

The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
.

The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
.
Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
.

Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

.

Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. Also consider talking to your smoking or drinking buddies about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

.

Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
.
2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
.
3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
.
4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
.
5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
.
6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
.
7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
.
8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
.

You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
.
Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
.

it's I really loathe the Mets.
And am I crazy? All yesterday--especially in the ninth inning--and even today, the announcers keep talking about the Mets being "a piece away" from being World Series contenders.
They're going on and on about what a genius move moving Lindor to lead-off has been, how the team has turned its season around, yada, yada, blah, blah...They're 26-37, 5-5 in their last ten, and 17.5 half games out of first. I get that they're only 4 games behind a Wild Card, but to get the Wild Card they have to leap-frog 5 teams. I get it's only June, but Jesus Christ, the way these guys shined the Mets, was nuts.
Oh, and fuck Jeff McNeil and his tears.
I've said my piece.
Anyway, four dollars a pound.