Cigarettes and rebellion have always gone hand-in-hand, and in an age of cigarette packet-sized health warnings, now more than ever, smoking a fag says: 'I do not give a fuck.' But if Brandon Flowers is hoping to strike a seditious pose by sparking up at the start of the interview, it's not going according to plan. The Killers' frontman is on all fours rooting through the junk that carpets the anteroom at the band's rehearsal space. "Has anyone seen my lighter?" he asks, rocking back on his heels. The question hangs in the air while Brandon cocks his head, waiting for an answer like a meerkat listening for a predator. Twenty-five years old and with a delicate bone structure, there's something almost dainty about him. Receiving no response, he returns to his search. "Oh, Jeez," he sighs. "I had it just a minute ago."
It's a scene that emphatically does not suggest a rebel without a cause. The mess isn't helping. The Killers' HQ - an industrial unit sandwiched between a construction supplier and the offices of a housing development just off Dean Martin Drive in West Las Vegas - is ankle-deep in designer clothing. A Dior Homme suit lies crumpled by the door; there's a pile of shoes topped like a sundae by a pair of Marc Jacobs trainers; and anyone wishing to enter the shoebox room the band use as an office must negotiate a mountain of discarded jeans. Many items are identifiable as coming from the wardrobe of Hot Fuss, The Killers' hugely successful 2004 debut album - triple platinum in the UK with two weeks at Number One and five million sold worldwide. Look! There are the shirts, ties and suit jackets they wore when they thrilled Glastonbury 2005 with indie rock anthems Mr Brightside and Somebody Told Me. That was the crowning moment of a two-and-a-half year tour that finally concluded in October of last year. It seems that after playing that final date in Miami, they returned to Vegas and shrugged off their image onto the floor of this bland white box.
Now a fine layer of dust covers the dead clothes. The Killers have no further use for white tuxedos on their second album, Sam's Town. Today, Brandon wears a black polo shirt, black pin-stripe waistcoat, black jeans and black boots. Where there used to be a layer of foundation, there is now a beard - an untrimmed beard at that. Dave Keuning (30, guitar), Mark Stoermer (29, bass) and Ronnie Vannucci (29, drums) all echo Brandon's black ensemble. Ronnie has added Aviator shades and a handlebar moustache for a dash of motorcycle cop, Dave's frizzy bubble of hair gives him a Marc Bolan-ish air, and there's something very teenage about Mark's scuffed Vans.
Short of walking around wearing sandwich boards saying, "Our new record is a bit heavier than the last one," The Killers couldn't hope to communicate that message more effectively. And they have gained some musical girth on Sam's Town. The pop hooks that made Hot Fuss so irresistible survive intact - see the ringing guitar riffs on first single When You Were Young - but there's a newfound punchiness, coupled with an epic sweep. The minor-to-major uplifts on Bones are fabulously dramatic, the coda to Why Do I Keep Counting? thrillingly intense. Comparisons to Bruce Springsteen have been made. If they overstate the case a little, they are at leaset qualitatively accurate. The Killers are back and this time it's serious - they've got the bootlace ties to prove it.
"Hey, it says here that Springsteen's headlining Glastonbury next year," shouts Ronnie, who's flicking through the NME. He nods sagely at the page without looking up.
"Really?" asks Dave, nicknamed Crazy Dave on account of his alledgedly volatile nature.
"The Boss is headlining one night, we're playing second on the bill the next night and Kylie's headlining the Sunday," says Brandon, charging like a bull through Michael Eavis' as-yet-unannounced line-up with what subsequently proves to be a characteristic gaucheness.
But that lighter is proving elusive. This being America, none of the people hurrying to-and-fro prepping the world for the release of Sam's Town smokes. Manager Robert Reynolds - Bobby Rey to the band - barks into his mobile, booking his band onto eye-wateringly demanding tours. "We're going to make a lot of money," he cackles to himself before switching calls to make a series of stern pronouncements on legal matters. Dave, Mark and Ronnie disappear for a jam session. Artwork is approved, B-sides are decided on and schedules are hammered out.
"I can't find it," Brandon says, finally. But he's not going to be denied the opportunity to underline The Killers reinvention with a puff of smoke. "Let's go to the gas station. I'll have to buy one. It's too busy to talk here anyway."
+
Brandon's black (of course) Volkswagen Touraeg four-wheel drive is barrelling down West Flamingo Road into town. "I was a bell boy there," he says, pointing out of the driver's window at the stucco facade of the Gold Coast casino. "I was working there when we were signed."
Coming from Las Vegas, it is perhaps inevitable that casinos play a big part in The Killers' story; not only is Sam's Town named after one, it was recorded in one, too.
The band began writing songs while on the road with Hot Fuss, turning up early for soundchecks to run through new ideas. On a trip home to Vegas, George Maloof, a hotelier known for cultivating famous friends, invited them to record the album in the new studio he'd built at The Palms, his flagship hotel-cum-gambling den. When the tour finished in October 2005, they returned to Vegas and spent five month finessing the songs they'd sketched out on the road. Then, in February, they decampled to the third floor studio at The Palms and recorded Sam's Town over 11 weeks.
Producer Flood (U2, Depeche Mode) encouraged them to experiment. They overdubbed, fiddled with synthesizers and played with new equipment. It took them five weeks to get the backing vocals right. The band sang the harmonies, then double-tracked them four times. The end result recalls Queen wondering, "Is this is the real life? Is this just fantasy?" When Ronnie, a trained classical percussionist, brought some kettledrums down, eyebrows were raised; but the fabulously bombastic coda on Why Do I Keep Counting? vindicates his indulgence.
"That's kind of the Ben Hur of the album," he says. He's not wrong. Sam's Town is a record on an epic scale. "Yeah, it has drama," he continues. "But, at the same time, I think it's a little more exposed than Hot Fuss. It's a little more naked. Last time it was about a lot of fictional things." By "fictional", Ronnie means that Hot Fuss wore its predominantly British influences for all to see. Brandon's taste in music is rabidly Anglophile - he constantly references The Smiths, The Cure and Joy Division - and it showed. By contrast, Sam's Town is an unequivocally American record. The lyrical imagery is pure American dream - cars, girls, wide-open spaces and escaping to a better life. "We're burning down the highway skyline/On the back of a hurricane that started turning/When you were young," sings Brandon on When You Were Young. That's the basis of the Springsteen comparisons then, though the lack of pathos more closely recalls another blue-collar rocker from New Jersey - Jon Bon Jovi.
The phrase "this town" recurs throughout the album, and it's always receding into the distance as The Killers escape to a new life. "This town was made for passing through/I never did get along with everybody else," sings Brandon on This River Is Wild. On Read My Mind he "never really gave up on breaking out of this two-star town", while on the title track he offers something of an explanation: "Nobody ever had a dream round here."
"With the first record, there was this feeling that there was this world out there that we didn't know," says Mark later in the day. Before The Killers, he studied philosophy: now he's their quiet one. "We wanted to get out and away from this and be somewhere else. We hadn't had a lot of experience - hadn't travelled much - then we were gone for three years. We didn't sit down and say that we wanted to make a record about how we're glad to be home, but that's what happened naturally."
It's not an angsty record. The Killers have already escaped with Hot Fuss, and, having done so, they view the experience fondly now they're back. There's a mistiness to Brandon's eyes as he explains how the album got it's name.
"Sam's Town is a casino on the edge of Vegas," he says. "I grew up in Henderson, which is out on the way to the Hoover Dam. My mom and dad lived in a trailer park, and my dad used to hitchhike up and down Boulder Highway, which is the only way you could get to Vegas. Sam's Town was the first thing you saw on your way in to town. So, when you're driving down Boulder Highway from Henderson, I always thought you finally knew you were getting somewhere when you saw Sam's Town. It was kind of like a beacon."
"It's not a completely American album," contines Brandon. "We still have our English influence, but we're also from the Wild West. Somehow we've managed to unify all that on this album. it's just such a perfect resemblence of what we are."
At the petrol station, Brandon rummages through the glove box looking for change to buy a lighter. "This is a great album," he says, pointing at Highway Companion, the latest from iconic American rocker Tom Petty. "I've always been a big fan of his. He's such a great American artist."
Yes, Brandon: we get the point.
+
When Brandon finally lights his cigarette, he smokes it awkwardly, like a child mimicking something he's seen the grown-ups doing. However, when he cheerfully admits that, "I feel the same mentally as I did when I was 12," it's not a knowing nod to the fact that he sometimes behaves like a loveably precocious child, but a reference to an unusually comprehensive grounding in pop music at an early age.
When Brandon sings about "this town", he doesn't mean Las Vegas. He means Nephi, Utah or Henderson, Nevada, where he spent his childhood. His parents are Mormon and he is the youngest of six children. "I was a surprise," he says. "I've got a 42-year-old sister." If he was issues about his "surprise" status, he chooses to gloss over them. "It turned out perfect because my brother was a teenager when I was a kid," he says. "He would bring home things like Rattle And Hum by U2 and I would watch it. I remember he bought Live In Dallas by Morrissey. It was always him watching these things, or his door was shut and you'd hear The Head On The Door by The Cure blasting through the house and rattling the walls."
The Killers were formed when Brandon answered an advert Dave had placed in a local paper in late 2002. Dave cited Oasis as a big influence; Brandon had seen them play recently and responded; and, as Dave has said in previous interviews: "He was the only person to reply to my ad who wasn't a complete freak." However, the band was born in Brandon's brothers bedroom.
"His room was like a shrine," enthuses Brandon. "It was a holy place. I wish I could show you a picture of it. It was covered in posters. There'd be a big picture of Elvis wearing a bow tie that just said 'The Smiths' [the artwork for The Smiths 1987 single Shoplifters Of The World Unite]. You had The Cure wearing face paint [the artwork to The Cure's 1985 single In Between Days] - all that kind of stuff. I remember Morrissey being on the cover of the NME, with the halo [from 1985] - stuff like that. You just wanted to know about these people 'cause they were so cool. My brother seemed like such a cool person. But he was a teenager, so he wasn't going to be that nice to me, a kid."
Brandon was fascinated by his brother's collection of music, magazines and posters, but he was denied access to them - officially, at least. "I would sneak in," he says. "I knew he'd be angry if he found out, but I would go in as soon as he left the house." For a long time Brandon was too scared to actually play anything. "That didn't come 'til later. I just used to go in there because I liked it. Then I got to the point where I'd actually take a tape out and put it in. It took more guts to do that."
It was a life-changing moment. "I was ten and the first song I played was Sing Your Life by Morrissey. I remember dancing about to it."
The lyrics to Sing Your Life include the lines, "Sing your life/Just walk right up to the microphone/And name all the things that you love/All the things that you loathe." It's intriguing to wonder what Morrissey makes of the neophyte he inspired with these lines.
Eventually, Brandon inherited his brother's tape collection. "It was around the same time CDs started coming out in a big way. He started buying CDs and gave me his tapes. And that was it: it took off from there. I got a hundred of the best albums - all the New Order, all the Morrissey, all The Smiths, The Beatles. I started buying posters. I went to see The Cure in concert. It was just kind of a continuation of my brother. And it was nice because, though my parents were strict, they were already used to it from him. There was no, 'My dad doesn't understand me,' or any of that kind of stuff. My mum likes The Smiths."
Brandon was 13 and his favourite band was late-'70s/early-'80s American new wavers The Cars, and particularly their jaw-droppingly catchy 1979 single Just What I Needed.
"I wouldn't exist without that song," he says. "That was the one. I remember driving around with my mum when I was 13, and we're living in Nephi - a really small town - and I felt so cool when I put that song on. Like: 'I have something that none of these kids I'm going to middle school with tomorrow have.' That excitement is what music's about, isn't it? That's why I understand the mentality of people that don't like us because we've sold so many records. I used to like it when no one else knew about a band. So I get that - I do."
+
Brandon's first band was called Blush Response. It was never going to work out. Not because he refused to move to Los Angeles with them, but because he is utterly - comically - shameless. He's given to making outrageously boastful statements like: "It's not like the '60s, '70s and '80s now. There are only a few bands around that are really good, that just do it. I mean, there's what, five or six of us?"
For the record, in Brandon's estimation, those bands are Franz Ferdinand, Razorlight, The Strokes, The White Stripes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and, of course, The Killers.
"I don't want people to think I'm lumping myself with other people just to make us sound cool," he says. Really? It sort of sounds like you are. But he just steamrolls through it. "Yeah, but you know what I mean," he says, grinning at his own cheekiness. He's so disgracefully forward you can't help but laugh along with him - Oh you are awful, Brandon! But joking aside, The Killers are the most commercially successful of all the bands he mentions.
Later, back at the rehearsal space, the band run through Sam's Town at deafening volume in preparation for the forthcoming tour - first the US, then the world. The infectious, almost contagious, chorus of When You Were Young sounds fabulous, as do the U2-like guitars and Twin Peaks synths of Read My Mind. Meanwhile, Smile Like You Mean It and Somebody Told Me benefit from the newfound harder edge.
They somewhat heavy-handedly underline the new direction by playing Paranoid by Black Sabbath and Get It On by T Rex. That's the thing: The Killers are not a subtle band. Their songs are like a wet kiss from a girl who's a bit too drunk. They are big and brash, and not everyone loves them for it. Mr Brightside and Somebody Told Me might go down as well at hip nightclubs as they do on the festival circuit, but the DJs play them with the same guilty look they wear when playing a pop record.
"I hate that," says Brandon. "Like writing a song you can hum somehow cheapens it? It makes me think of this quote by Morrissey. Everybody knows how he read Oscar Wilde, Keats and Yates when he was growing up and that he wanted to be a writer. He was talking to this journalist who asked why he hadn't become a writer, and Morrissey said: 'What I do is more powerful than what you do because I can write down these words and you get it to a melody. How can you beat that?' I'm of the same opinion. I don't understand why a good melody that's memorable is a bad thing."
Being dismissed as pop particular aggrieves Ronnie. "When we first came out we got compared to Duran Duran all the time. Jesus Christ! We got a keyboard player now all of a sudden he's Nick Rhodes! Come on!"
"The people who criticise us for being too poppy don't get it," agrees Mark. "I think that's the problem with a lot of rock music. People are afraid to write a song any more. Either that or they can't. And that attitude hurts music in general. The best bands ever have all written great songs. You can still do it and do it intelligently and it can be original. This isn't a studio creation with a producer writing these songs for us. We're not Avril Lavigne, or something like that. We're a real band writing real songs, just like a punk band would do, except that we write pop songs."
You get the impression that The Killers knack for showboating pop hooks that border on vulgar is inextricably tied up with the brazen side of Brandon's personality. But while his ebullient charisma, not to mention the songs themselves, mitigates his outrageousness, there is a less attractive side to his ego. He has a combative streak. He can't resist taking pot shots at emo bands, notably Fall Out Boy, whith whom The Killers share an A&R man.
Has he heard how many emo kids it takes to change a light bulb? "No." None. They just sit in the dark and cry. It's a full 30 seconds before he stops laughing. When he does he admits: "Yeah, we've had problems with other bands. You know, when you walk in the room it's like..." He whistles the theme to The Good, The Bad And The Ugly. "We're like gangs."
And while the other members of the band are diplomatic on the subject of Brandon, you don't have to read too deeply between the lines to conclude that there have been internal issues, too.
"Some people will think Brandon's the big genius," says Dave, visibly bridling. "There are songs, such as Why Do I Keep Counting?, where he's written every note. But there are others, like When You Were Young, that were more of a collaboration - like Mr Brightside, where I had some of the music and Brandon came up with the lyrics. We always have arguments about who wrote what. The truth is that we all help in that process."
When asked how success affected them, Ronnie says: "There were certain things that needed adjusting. When you're on tour for two years, people can get a little needy. It doesn't help that you're surrounded by yes men and everybody's working for you. At times we've had to say, 'Who do you think you are?' to people. No one wears the trousers, but some people would like to. I think if it wasn't for the people in the band kicking each other in the ass... Let's just say there was some ass-kickin'."
It doesn't take a genius to work out whose ass needed kicking most often.
+
It's the following day and The Killers are back at their rehearsal space. The topic of discussion is what to wear in the video for Bones, the second single. It's a big deal: the director is Tim Burton. "I feel like Frank Sinatra when I sing it," announces Brandon. "With maybe a little bit of Morrissey and a little bit of Elvis, too."
Of course he does. But if securing the services of Tim Burton tells you one thing, it's that The Killers are about to get even bigger, perhaps even make the leap to the same level as Coldplay et al. Already stars, they are about to become superstars. Brandon can hardly wait.
"Do you know that Rolling Stone didn't want to put us on the cover last time," he says indignantly. "They didn't think we were stars. We sold five million albums! What more do they want from a band?"
Whatever was required, Brandon would be happy to do most things. "I'll do stuff that some people don't want to do, 'cause I want people to hear the music," he says. However, even he has limits. "The Rolling Stone thing made the record label think: 'What can we do to make them stars?' If I go on vacation with my wife, do they have to send somebody to be there to take pictures of me? Is that how you become a star? I don't want that. I walked down the red carpet one time and I realised I don't like it. But you don't have to walk down the red carpet for people to hear your music. We do still have some of that indie blood running through our veins."
He heads off at a tangent: "When you walk around Liverpool, you think of The Beatles, or you go to Manchester and you think of The Smiths or Oasis. I want you to come to Las Vegas and think of Sam's Town. And I think we've started to capture that, which is a truer version of The Killers, 'cause that's where we're from."
He pauses.
"I used to live across the street from Sam's Town. Maybe it'll be like our Abbey Road where people go to take pictures."
Is that what he'd like?
"I wouldn't mind it," he says, desperately hoping it will come true.
He puts a cigarette between his lips, looks down at his trouser pockets and pats them in search of the lighter he bought yesterday.
"Hey, I don't suppose you've got one?"

II. The Narcissistic Personality of Our Time
...
Social Influences on Narcissism
Every age develops its own peculiar forms of pathology, which express in exaggerated form its underlying character structure. In Freud’s time, hysteria and obsessional neurosis carried to extremes the personality traits associated with the capitalist order at an earlier stage in its development - acquisitiveness, fanatical devotion to work, and a fierce repression of sexuality. In our time, the preschizophrenic, borderline, or personality disorders have attracted increasing attention, along with schizophrenia itself. This “change in the form of neuroses has been observed and described since World War II by an ever-increasing number of psychiatrists.” According to Peter L. Giovacchini, “Clinicians are constantly faced with the seemingly increasing number of patients who do not fit current diagnostic categories” and who suffer not from “definitive symptoms” but from “vague, ill-defined complaints.” “When I refer to ‘this type of patient,’” he writes, “practically everyone knows to whom I am referring.” The growing prominence of “character disorders” seems to signify an underlying change in the organization of personality, from what has been called inner-direction to narcissism.
Allen Wheelis argued in 1958 that the change in the “patterns of neuroses” fell “within the personal experience of older psychoanalysts,” while younger ones “become aware of it from the discrepancy between the older descriptions of neuroses and the problems presented by the patients who come daily to their offices. The change is from symptom neuroses to character disorders.” Heinz Lichtenstein, who questioned the additional assertion that it reflected a change in personality structure, nevertheless wrote in 1963 that the “change in neurotic patterns” already constituted a “well-known fact.” In the seventies, such reports have become increasingly common. “It is not accident,” Herbert Hendin notes, “that at the present time the dominant events in psychoanalysis are the rediscovery of narcissism and the new emphasis on the psychological significance of death.” “What hysteria and the obsessive neuroses were to Freud and his early colleagues…at the beginning of this century,” writes Michael Beldoch, “the narcissistic disorders are to the workaday analyst in these last few decades before the next millennium. Today’s patients by and large do not suffer from hysterical paralyses of the legs or hand-washing compulsions; instead it is their very psychic selves that have gone numb or that they must scrub and rescrub in an exhausting and unending effort to come clean.” These patients suffer from “pervasive feelings of emptiness and a deep disturbance of self-esteem.” Burness E. Moore notes that narcissistic disorders have become more and more common. According to Sheldon Bach, “You used to see people coming in with hand-washing compulsions, phobias, and familiar neuroses. Now you see mostly narcissists.” Gilbert J. Rose maintains that the psychoanalytic outlook, “inappropriately transplanted from analytic practice” to everyday life, has contributed to “global permissiveness” and the “over-domestication of instinct,” which in turn contributes to the proliferation of “narcissistic identity disorders.” According to Joel Kovel, the stimulation of infantile cravings by advertising, the usurpation of parental authority by the media and the school, and the rationalization of inner life accompanied by the false promise of personal fulfillment, have created a new type of “social individual.” “The result is not the classical neuroses where an infantile impulse is suppressed by patriarchal authority, but a modern version in which impulse is stimulated, perverted and given neither an adequate object upon which to satisfy itself nor coherent forms of control…. The entire complex, played out in a setting of alienation rather than direct control, loses the classical form of symptom - and the classical therapeutic opportunity of simply restoring an impulse to consciousness.”
The reported increase in the number of narcissistic patients does not necessarily indicate that narcissistic disorders are more common than they used to be, in the population as a whole, or that they have become more common than the classical conversion neurosis. Perhaps they simply come more quickly to psychiatric attention. Ilza Veith contends that “with the increasing awareness of conversion reactions and the popularization of psychiatric literature, the ‘old-fashioned’ somatic expressions of hysteria have become suspect among the more sophisticated classes, and hence most physicians observe that obvious conversion symptoms are now rarely encountered and, if at all, only among the uneducated.” The attention given to character disorders in recent clinical literature probably makes psychiatrists more alert to their presence. But this possibility by no means diminishes the importance of psychiatric testimony about the prevalence of narcissism, especially when this testimony appears at the same time that journalists begin to speculate about the new narcissism and the unhealthy trend toward self-absorption. The narcissist comes to the attention of psychiatrists for some of the same reasons that he rises to positions of prominence not only in awareness movements and other cults but in business corporations, political organizations, and government bureaucracies. For all his inner suffering, the narcissist has many traits that make for success in bureaucratic institutions, which put a premium on the manipulation of interpersonal relations, discourage the formation of deep personal attachments, and at the same time provide the narcissist with the approval he needs in order to validate his self-esteem. Although he may resort to therapies that promise to give meaning to life and to overcome his sense of emptiness, in his professional career the narcissist often enjoys considerable success. The management of personal impressions comes naturally to him, and his mastery of its intricacies serves him well in political and business organizations where performance now counts for less than “visibility,” “momentum,” and a winning record. As the “organization man” gives way to the bureaucratic “gamesman” - the “loyalty era” of American business to the age of the “executive success game” - the narcissist comes into his own.
In a study of 250 managers from twelve major companies, Michael Maccoby describes the new corporate leader, not altogether unsympathetically, as a person who works with people rather than with materials and who seeks not to build an empire or accumulate wealth but to experience “the exhilaration of running his team and of gaining victories.” He wants to “be known as a winner, and his deepest fear is to be labeled a loser.” Instead of pitting himself against a material task or a problem demanding solution, he puts himself against others, out of a “need to be in control.” As a recent textbook for managers puts it, success today means “not simply getting ahead” but “getting ahead of others.” The new executive, boyish, playful, and “seductive,” wants in Maccoby’s words “to maintain an illusion of limitless options.” He has little capacity for “personal intimacy and social commitment.” He feels little loyalty even to the company for which he works. One executive says he experiences power “as not being pushed around by the company.” In his upward climb, this man cultivates powerful customers and attempts to use them against his own company. “You need a very big customer,” according to his calculations, “who is always in trouble and demands changes from the company. That way you automatically have power in the company, and with the customer too. I like to keep my options open.” A professor of management endorses this strategy. “Overidentification” with the company, in his view, “produces a corporation with enormous power over the careers and destinies of its true believers.” The bigger the company, the more important he thinks it is for executes “to manage their careers in terms of their own…free choices” and to “maintain the widest set of options possible.”
According to Maccoby, the gamesman “is open to new ideas, but he lacks convictions.” He will do business with any regime, even if he disapproves of its principles. More independent and resourceful than the company man, he tries to use the company for his own ends, fearing that otherwise he will be “totally emasculated by the corporation.” He avoids intimacy as a trap, preferring the “exciting, sexy atmosphere” with which the modern executive surrounds himself at work, “where adoring, mini-skirted secretaries constantly flirt with him.” In all his personal relations, the gamesman depends on the admiration or fear he inspires in others to certify his credentials as a “winner.” As he gets older, he finds it more and more difficult to command the kind of attention on which he thrives. He reaches a plateau beyond which he does not advance in his job, perhaps because the very highest positions, as Maccoby notes, still go to “those able to renounce adolescent rebelliousness and become at least to some extent believers in the organization.” The job begins to lose its savor. Having little interest in craftsmanship, the new-style executive takes no pleasure in his achievements once he begins to lose the adolescent charm on which they rest. Middle age hits him with the force of a disaster: “Once his youth, vigor, and even the thrill in winning are lost, he becomes depressed and goalless, questioning the purpose of his life. No longer energized by the team struggle and unable to dedicate himself to something he believes in beyond himself, … he finds himself starkly alone.” It is not surprising, given the prevalence of this career pattern, that popular psychology returns so often to the “midlife crisis” and to ways of combating it.
In Wilfrid Sheed’s novel Office Politics, a wife asks, “There are real issues, aren’t there, between Mr. Fine and Mr. Tyler?” Her husband answers that the issues are trivial; “the jockeying of ego is the real story.” Eugene Emerson Jennings’s study of management, which celebrates the demise of the organization man and the advent of the new “era of mobility,” insists that corporate “mobility is more than mere job performance.” What counts is “style…panache…the ability to say and do almost anything without antagonizing others.” The upwardly mobile executive, according to Jennings, knows how to handle the people around him - the “shelf-sitter” who suffers from “arrested mobility” and envies success; the “fast learner”; the “mobile superior.” The “mobility-bright executive” has learned to “read” the power relations in his office and “to see the less visible and less audible side of his superiors, chiefly their standing with their peers and superiors.” He “Can infer from a minimum of cues who are the centers of power, and he seeks to have high visibility and exposure with them. He will assiduously cultivate his standing and opportunities with them and seize every opportunity to learn from them. He will utilize his opportunities in social world to size up the men who are centers of sponsorship in the corporate world.”
Constantly comparing the “executive success game” to an athletic contest or a game of chess, Jennings treats the substance of executive life as if it were just as arbitrarily and irrelevant to success as the task of kicking a ball through a net or of moving pieces over a chessboard. He never mentions the social and economic repercussions of managerial decisions or the power that managers exercise over society as a whole. For the corporate manager on the make, power consists not of money and influence but of “momentum,” a “winning image,” a reputation as a winner . Power lies in the eye of the beholder and thus has no objective reference at all.
The manager’s view of the world, as described by Jennings, Maccoby, and by the managers themselves, is that of the narcissist, who sees the world as a mirror of himself and has no interest in external events except as they throw back a reflection of his own image. The dense interpersonal environment of modern bureaucracy, in which work assumes an abstract quality almost wholly divorced from performance, by its very nature elicits and often rewards a narcissistic response. Bureaucracy, however, is only one of a number of social influences that are bringing a narcissistic type of personality organization into greater and greater prominence. Another such influence is the mechanical reproduction of culture, the proliferation of visual and audial images in the “society of the spectacle.” We live in a swirl of images and echoes that arrest experience and play it back in slow motion. Cameras and recording machines not only transcribe experience but alter its quality, giving to much of modern life that character of an enormous echo chamber, a hall of mirrors. Life presents itself as a succession of images of electronic signals, of impressions recorded and reproduced by means of photography, motion pictures, television, and sophisticated recording devices. Modern life is thoroughly mediated by electronic images that we cannot help responding to others as if their actions - and our own - were being recorded and simultaneously transmitted to an unseen audience or stored up for close scrutiny at some later time. “Smile, you’re on candid camera!” The intrusion into everyday life of this all-seeing eye no longer takes us by surprise or catches us with our defenses down. We need no reminder to smile. A smile is permanently graven on our features, and we already known from which of several angles its photographs to best advantage.
The proliferation of recorded images undermines our sense of reality. As Susan Sontag observes in her study of photography, “Reality has come to seem more and more like what we are shown by cameras.” We distrust our perceptions until the camera verifies them. Photographic images provide us with the proof of our existence, without which we would find it difficult even to reconstruct a personal history. Bourgeois families in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, Sontag points out, posed for portraits in order to proclaim the family’s status, whereas today the family album of photographs verifies the individual’s existence: its documentary record of his development from infancy onward provides him with the only evidence of his life that he recognizes as altogether valid. Among the “many narcissistic uses” that Sontag attributes to the camera, “self-surveillance” ranks among the most important, not only because it provides the technical means of ceaseless self-scrutiny but because it renders the sense of selfhood dependent on the consumption of images of the self, at the same time calling into question the reality of the external world.
By preserving images of the self at various stages of development, the camera helps to weaken the older idea of development as moral education and to promote a more passive idea according to which development consists of passing through the stages of life at the right time and in the right order. Current fascination with the life cycle embodies an awareness that success in politics or business depends on reaching certain goals on schedule; but it also reflects the ease with which developments can be electronically recorded. This brings us to another cultural change that elicits a widespread narcissistic response and, in this case, gives it a philosophical sanction: the emergence of a therapeutic ideology that upholds a normative schedule of psychosocial development and thus gives further encouragement to anxious self-scrutiny. The idea of normative development creates the fear that any deviation from the norm has a pathological source. Doctors have made a cult of periodic checkup - an investigation carried out once again by means of cameras and other recording instruments - and have implanted in their clients the notion that health depends on eternal watchfulness and the early detection of symptoms, as verified by medical technology. The client no longer feels physically or psychologically secure until his X-rays confirm a “clean bill of health.”
Medicine and psychiatry - more generally, the therapeutic outlook and sensibility that pervade modern society - reinforce the pattern created by other cultural influences, in which the individual endlessly examines himself for signs of aging and ill health, for tell-tale symptoms of psychic stress, for blemishes and flaws that might diminish his attractiveness, or on the other hand for reassuring indications that his life is proceeding according to schedule. Modern medicine has conquered the plagues and epidemics that once made life so precarious, only to create new forms of insecurity. In the same way, bureaucracy has made life predictable and even boring while reviving, in a new form, the war of all against all. Our overorganized society, in which large-scale organizations predominate but have lost the capacity to command allegiance, in some respects more nearly approximates a condition of universal animosity than did the primitive capitalism on which Hobbes managed his state of nature. Social conditions today encourage a survival mentality, expressed in its crudest form in disaster movies or in fantasies of space travel, which allow vicarious escape from a doomed planet. People no longer dream of overcoming difficulties but merely of surviving them. In business, according to Jennings, “The struggle is to survive emotionally” -to “preserve or enhance one’s identity or ego.” The normative concept of developmental stages promotes a view of life as an obstacle course: the aim is simply to get through the course with a minimum of trouble and pain. The ability to manipulate what Gail Sheehy refers to, using a medical metaphor, as “life-support systems” now appears to represent the highest form of wisdom: the knowledge that gets us through, as she puts it, without panic. Those who master Sheehy’s “no-panic approach to aging” and to the traumas of the life cycle will be able to say, in the words of one of her subjects, “I know I can survive… I don’t panic any more.” This is hardly an exalted form of satisfaction, however. “The current ideology,” Sheehy writes, “seems a mix of personal survivalism, revivalism, and cynicism”; yet her enormously popular guide to the “predictable crises of adult life,” with its superficially optimistic hymn to growth, development, and “self-actualization,” does not challenge this ideology, merely restates it in more “humanistic” form. “Growth” has become a euphemism for survival.
The World View of the Resigned
New social forms require new forms of personality, new modes of socialization, new ways of organizing experience. The concept of narcissism provides us not with a ready-made psychological determinism but with a way of understanding the psychological impact of recent social changes - assuming that we bear in mind not only its clinical origins but the continuum between pathology and normality. It provides us, in other words, with a tolerably accurate portrait of the “liberated” personality of our time, with his charm, his pseudo-awareness of his own condition, his promiscuous pansexuality, his fascination with oral sex, his fear of the castrating mother (Mrs. Portnoy), his hypochondria, his protective shallowness, his avoidance of dependence, his inability to mourn, his dread of old age and death.
Narcissism appears realistically to represent the best way of coping with the tensions and anxieties of modern life, and the prevailing social conditions therefore tend to bring out narcissistic traits that are present, in varying degrees, in everyone. These condition have also transformed the family, which in turn shapes the underlying structure of personality. A society that dears it has no future is not likely to give much attention to the needs of the next generation, and the ever-present sense of historical discontinuity - the blight of our society - falls with particularly devastating effect on the family. The modern parent’s attempt to make children feel loved and wanted does not conceal an underlying coolness - the remoteness of those who have little to pass on the next generation and who in any case give priority to their own right to self-fulfillment. The combination of emotional detachment with attempts to convince a child of his favored position in the family is a good prescription for a narcissistic personality structure.
Through the intermediary of the family, social patterns reproduce themselves in personality. Social arrangements live on in the individual, buried in the mind below the level of consciousness, even after they have become objectively undesirable and unnecessary - as many of our present arrangements are now widely acknowledged to have become. The perception of the world as a dangerous and forbidding place, though it originates in a realistic awareness of the insecurity of contemporary social life, receives reinforcement from the narcissistic projection of aggressive impulses outward. The belief that society has no future, while it rests on a certain realism about the dangers ahead, also incorporates a narcissistic inability to identify with posterity or to feel one self part of a historical stream.
The weakening of social ties, which originates in the prevailing state of social warfare, at the same time reflects a narcissistic defense against dependence. A warlike society tends to produce men and women who are at heart antisocial. It should therefore not surprise us to find that although the narcissist conforms to social norms for fear of external retribution, he often thinks of himself as an outlaw and sees others in the same way, “as basically dishonest and unreliable, or only reliable because of external pressures.” “The value systems of narcissistic personalities are generally corruptible,” writes Kernberg, “in contrast to the rigid morality of the obsessive personality.”
The ethic of self-preservation and psychic survival is rooted, then, not merely in objective conditions of economic warfare, rising rates of crime, and social chaos but in the subjective experience of emptiness and isolation. It reflects the conviction - as much a projection of inner anxieties as a perception of the way things are - that envy and exploitation dominate even the most intimate relations. The cult of personal relations, which becomes increasingly intense as the hope of political solutions recedes, conceals a thoroughgoing disenchantment with personal relations, just as the cult of sensuality implies a repudiation of sensuality in all but its most primitive forms. The ideology of personal growth, superficially optimistic, radiates a profound despair and resignation. It is the faith of those without faith.

Memory Transcript Subject: Carlos Jose Rodriguez, Mechanical Engineer, Florida Man
Date [Standardized Human Time]: December 29th, 2136
When Yalga passed out on the couch I sent a message to the family group chat making sure everyone knew of the situation.
I needed to get Yalga into the hospital, but I didn’t want to do it myself. Pyon also needed a sitter, so I was waiting for mom to come back so Salisek and I could focus on Yalga.
Me: Yalga burned herself on the heat pad. We’re taking her to the ER. Mom, could you come home to take care of Pyon.
Mom: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BURNED HERSELF?! We’re coming home!
Tarvik: On our way. We’ll help you take her.
I didn’t want to bother them, but I couldn’t complain. I needed help. While I waited for them to arrive I poured a cool glass of water for Yalga so she could hydrate herself when she gets up. I gently nudged her awake, which made her groan in discomfort as her eyes opened.
“Dad? What’s going on?” She asked weakly. Her voice was a little rough.
“I’m gonna take you to the doctor,” I answered bluntly. “I am aware, you don’t love doctors but these people can help you much better than me. I’ll be with you as much as I can, holding your hand. Can you be brave for me?”
My daughter nodded yes, so I got up and went upstairs to grab something we’re definitely gonna need. I also made sure Salisek got the news. She probably saw through the chat, but I needed to be sure.
I peeked into our room, or at least the room the girls were staying in together. “Honey?” I called the mother of my children. Salisek was cradling Pyon, trying to calm him down. Pyon was holding his teddy tight enough to cause some visible rips and tears. I need to ask mom to fix that later. “How is he?”
Pyon buried his face in Saliseks chest fur, and made some small whining sounds. “He’s scared. We heard Yalga scream and didn’t know what was going on. He soiled himself when he heard Yalga and has been crying for a while now. He only just stopped. He can sense I’m worried too.”
“You changed him right?”
“Yeah, although I didn’t think now was a good time for potty training. What are you getting?”
Salisek followed me to my mom’s room and watched me search around the closet. “Almost a decade ago, my dad was hit by a car. Something about the sensors being screwed up. He’s obviously fine now, but the car didn’t stop just in time so he broke a leg. Thank God that’s all he got. Anyway, he bought a wheelchair and kept it- Aha!”
I freed the simple contraption buried under a mountain of clothes dad considered put away and carried it downstairs.
“We’re gonna need this. It’s gonna be way easier to move Yalga.”
Salisek continued to cradle Pyon, rocking him back and forth, as she talked to me, “What do you need me to do?”
“Stay with Pyon.”
“No.”
“We’re not arguing about this. I need you to stay-”
“Pardon me, could you repeat that!? Have you forgotten that despite that fact we aren’t married yet we both signed as the legal guardians of both Pyon AND Yalga. Or did you want to call your barber for help?”
Hearing Salisek use her angry voice when talking about anything other than Exterminator and Federation bigotry felt like a punch in the gut.I tried to defuse the situation. That worked about as well as it did when dad tried it.
“Hun, that’s not what I mea-”
“MY-” Salisek paused when she remembered she was still carrying Pyon who was looking at her as if she yelled at him. “Oh, I’m so sorry pup just…” She shifted Pyon's position so he could bury his face into her fur to distract her. She softened her voice, but made it stern as steel. “My daughter is in an incredible amount of pain. She is scared, she is tired. I will be there. Pyon will come with, so he can see his sister being taken care of. I. Will. Be. There. For. My. Daughter. Am I clear?”
I help up my hands in defeat. “Okay. We’ll leave as soon as the family gets here.”
Saliseks voice and posture softened. “Okay. Again this time. What can I do?”
Seeing how serious she was, I realized doing this on my own was a stupid idea from the start. “Pack some snacks. I’m not getting overcharged for crappy hospital junk. And while you’re in the kitchen please grab more water for Yalga. I gotta make sure the bandaging is on well and she’s okay.”
“Okay.”
Salisek walked to the kitchen, still carrying Pyon. At times like these, I know I made the right decision marrying her.
“I love you sweetheart!” I called out.
“I love you too hun!” She called back.
I pulled the wheelchair out so Yalga could get in it. I could try and carry her, but unfortunately with her size and weight it would be better to transport her like this. Even if it’s a short distance.
“Daddy,” Yalga called.
“Yeah.”
“Are you and Mommy mad at each other?” She asked innocently. “Did I do something wrong? I heard Mom say my name.”
I knelt down to give my daughter an assuring kiss on her head. “No kiddo. We had a disagreement like all adults. It’s solved now. We still love each other.”
Despite her monotone voice, it couldn’t hide the tears building in her eyes. “Okay.”
I ignored it for the moment because she was probably gonna cry more in a moment. I opened the chair as much as it could go and gave the seat a nice solid pat.
“We’re gonna put you here, then we’re going to the Emergency Room.”
“Do I have to get up?”
“Yeah. You do. Grab my hand. We’ll go slow.”
Yalga held my hand and grasped it tight. I need to remember that she has a very strong grip. To keep her even I used my other hand to push her up from the other side so she didn’t have to do the work.
I’m so glad I go to the gym.
We slowly worked together to lift her up so she could sit straight.
“Ow, ow!”
“I know it hurts. Take your time.”
Once we got her up we had to get her into the chair. I thought about the best way to put her tail. Through the hole in the back? Would it just drag to the ground? Wait!
I went to the side of the couch where there was a thin blanket for me and Salisek when we slept here. If I can tie the blanket on the handles it can keep her tail up without squishing it. I just need to get her on first.
“Okay Princess. Let’s get up. Can you stand?”
“Y-Yeah. Um, Dad?”
Yalga awkwardly clutched her tail. “I need to use the bathroom.”
My eyes darted from the bathroom to the couch and back. “No better time to test the wheelchair.”
[Memory Transcript Time Skip: 40 Minutes]
Even though it was getting late the traffic was still a lot. Once Salisek was ready we both called our parents and they both said that traffic was heavy. With it being the last Saturday of the year, Florida residents and tourists alike were enjoying their day.
We decided to just meet at the ER. The blanket trick for Yalga’s tail worked well and it didn’t hurt too much for her to walk once she got up. However, sitting down hurt her a lot unless it was in the wheelchair. Her tail probably played a factor since it didn’t have a place to sit except on the side when dealing with regular chairs.
Once we got to the hospital I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t that packed. Because of increased tourism and parties things can get crowded this time of year. Thankfully that wasn’t the case today. I didn’t want my daughter waiting more than she had too.
When I opened the side door, Yalga was already half up just so she could get into a chair with room for her tail. I helped carry her down and rolled her through the hospital's parking lot.
Salisek was having a difficult time carrying Pyon. He was pretty nervous. “Mawmy, I don wan to gow en.”
I didn’t understand why Pyon was scared but Mawmy was able to calm him down. “It’s okay pup. This place is filled with very nice and smart people who can help your big sister.”
My daughter didn’t say much, instead she looked around the large hospital and took in all the architecture and bright lights at the front. The front and lobby areas were clean and comfortable which helped a little to ease the tensions of anyone going in with something they believe is serious.
I rolled Yalga straight to the front desk and we were greeted by the medical receptionist. “Hello, how may I help you?”
I smiled politely and spoke calmly, “Hello, I’m Carlos Rodriguez and this is my daughter Yalga. She was using a heating pad and unfortunately suffered some burns. I was able to patch her up a little, but the gels and methods we have are for humans so I want to make sure she can heal properly. I would also like a professional to look at other areas of concern dealing with her limbs and back.”
“Any pain, shortness of breath, chest pain, profuse bleeding?”
“Her back usually causes her pain and the burning made it worse.”
She gestured to my fiance and son, “Are those two with you?”
“The tall Venlil woman is Salisek, my fiance, and she’s holding our son Pyon. They came for emotional support and to assist with anything Yalga may need.”
“We’ll get you someone right away. Please wait in the lobby.”
“Thank you.”
I knew they probably wouldn’t rush us in since even though Yalga is in pain, there’s no direct threat to her life. The most they’d do is probably a tetanus shot. I suppose I’ll have to worry if Yalga reacts to needles. I’ll try to calm her down because I could tell Yalga was still tense. I rolled her to a seating area with a TV playing Tom and Jerry.
Peak Fiction
With all the stress Yalga was going through, there’s nothing like cartoon violence to ease the mood. What would also ease the mood is having the family visit which according to a message they just sent, they were already here just finding parking.
Soon everyone entered the hospital and after a quick chat with the receptionist, along with me flagging them down, they joined us in the lobby. Helen and Chalta ran to Yalga the quickest.
“Yalga, are you okay?!” Chalta asked. “We heard your back got hurt!”
Helen was about to tackle Yalga into a hug before I stopped her. “Helen, Yalga isn’t feeling well. Please be careful she’s in a lot of pain.” Helen was visibly worried but still gently gave Yalga a supportive hug.
“Get better soon please.”
Talice and Tarvik were surrounding Salisek, asking questions on how they could help.
“Mom, it’s fine, really.”
“No, it’s not fine. Your father and I are here to help so please be honest with us. We’ll help with anything you need. We’ll take Helen home soon but the moment you need anything we’ll be right there.”
“Why isn’t she seeing a doctor yet? What kind of place is this?!”
Mom went over to Salisek who was still holding Pyon. “I can take him sweetie, get some rest.”
Salisek cradled a stressed Pyon in her arms, “Do you wanna go with Grandma, little pup?”
“Gwandma.”
Salisek gently handed Pyon over to my mother who instantly knew how to calm him down. Salisek fell into the chair next to me. She was pretty exhausted and it was getting late. The stress of everything is what really made her worry. Seeing your child in pain isn’t fun. My father put a hand on each of our shoulders.
“Is everything alright?” he asked.
I looked over to my daughter who was trying to watch the cartoon with her sisters but still had a hard time focusing because of the pain, as evident by her trying to adjust herself. I gave her a tap on her shoulder and mouthed “how are you feeling?”. I could only hear a little whisper, but it was enough to understand she was saying “It still hurts.”
Dad could overhear what we were trying to say and knelt down next to Yalga. “What would you like to do when we leave?”
“I’m a little hungry. Can we go eat later?”
“Of course, anything you want.”
I was grateful for my dad, that we remembered to comfort Yalga in all this. I was so new to everything, not to mention the speed at which everything was happening.
…
Where’s the doctor!
“Carlos Rodriguez,” She called just as my patience was wearing thin. “We’re ready to see you now.”
“Thank you. One moment.”
I quickly talked with my parents and in-laws about who is going home and who is staying. My mom offered to take Pyon home and to tuck him in, Salisek agreed. Talice decided to go with and made sure to bring Chalta and Helen back since they knew they might get bored or cause trouble. Tarvik and Dad were conversing for a bit about who should stay before settling on Dad since he’s more familiar with the hospital.
Salisek gave Pyon a strong nose nuzzle, “I’ll see you later, okay Pyon? Mommy will be home soon. Be good to grandma, okay?”
“Owkay Mawmy.”
“I love you.”
“I wuv yu tu.”
Helen and Chalta gave Yalga a big, but gentle, hug.
“Get better soon.”
“We’ll play lots of games together when you get back.”
Everyone quickly said their goodbyes so it was just me, Yalga, Salisek, and Dad. We followed the nurse to a room and were asked to wait until the doctor arrived. Yalga was really on edge.
“Dad, are you gonna tell Odin about me?”
“It hasn’t crossed our minds. Do you want us to call him so you can talk for a bit?”
“No thank you, I don’t want him to worry.” My daughter fidgeted with her claws in shame. She didn’t want Odin to see her hurt. The moment she’s okay, I’m planning a date for her and Odin. With chaperones of course. “Are the doctors here nice?” Yalga asked nervously.
“Of course they are, Princess. Just answer honestly and they’ll help you get better.”
They’ll help you get better… I hope.
[Memory Transcript Time Skip: 60 Minutes]
“So the spray will help heal and clean the burn so it doesn’t get sick?” Yalga asked curiously.
“That’s right,” Dr. Brown stated. “Soon we’ll give you a small shot to help protect against tetanus. It’s a very dangerous condition that can happen when you get a cut or burn. But you’re being very brave, I’ll see if we can get you a treat later. That is, if your parents are okay with it.”
“gasp Can I daddy?! Pleeeeeeease, I’ve been soooo good.”
I smiled brightly, “Of course you can.”
Dr. Brown was a huge blessing. The guy had been working with kids for a while and was great with Yalga. He was really good at relaxing her and explaining to her what was going on. He was honest and genuine. Salisek really liked him too, and even asked some questions herself. I also remembered him during my reckless years. He recognized me too.
“You’re daddy was quite the troublemaker back in his day.”
“Really?”
“Yup, when he was small he proudly came to me with a broken wrist.”
“Why would he be proud of that?”
“He got it trying to impress his crush.”
Seven-year-old me told you that in confidence.
I awkwardly looked at Salisek, but all she could do was stare and slowly smile while turning to my dad for more information.
“Do you happen to know the full story, dad?” Salisek teased.
“Well daughter, Carlos had a small crush on this girl named Jessica in the second grade and he tried to impress her by jumping off the swing set. He succeeded and flung himself so far into the air that when he landed on his wrist he needed a cast for months.”
“H-Hey! You laugh but it worked. She sat next to me at lunch and gave me her lunchables, that’s like… the pinnacle of love in second grade.”
I earned a laugh from everyone in the room, which almost made me forget that it was at my expense.
“Um, what is a lunchable?” Dr. Triva asked. She was a Zurulian working with Dr. Brown, trying to work with and understand the Arxur biology. While she was important in treating Yalga’s burn with her experience with Harchen Exterminators she would be even more important in trying to understand her condition as a whole. Zurulians have the best medical understanding compared to… pretty much everyone.
“It’s a children’s meal kit for both vegan and non-vegan foods, it’s popular for kids in school lunches.” Dr. Brown took his eyes off his colleague and gave me a sly look. “But let’s be honest, there was never any real meat in those things.”
Yalga’s interests also peaked. “Were they tasty?”
“Back in my day they were the best part of school. They were also a status symbol. Having the best lunchables meant you were the coolest kid.”
“What was the best one, Daddy?”
“Pizza.”
Of course it was pizza. It’s always pizza.
Pizza is God’s gift to the world.
Dr. Triva grabbed the syringe for the shot while Dr. Brown prepped the area. The sight of the needle made Yalga nervous.
“D-Daddy, do we have to…”
“Hey Princess, look at this.”
Yalga took her gaze off the needle and onto my phone where I showed her my favorite distraction.
[Behold Distraction]
“What is that?” Yalga asked. “I like the sounds.”
The legend Zach Choi, his legacy continued by his descendants, loved making short videos of him just cooking. This one was one of the rare ones that didn’t feature meat. Yalga was fully entranced into the process that she didn’t even react to the needle or the bandaid.
“Good job my beautiful pup!” Salisek cheered.
“Yeah… in a minute, mom.”
Dr. Brown chuckled, “I think I should start using those for nervous patients, right Dr. Triva?”
“Yeah… in a minute, Dr. Brown.”
I took my phone away before everyone forgot why they were here and we were ready to proceed. The doctors wanted to really get a look at Yalga and her condition. On the promise of peanut butter cookies and meat lovers pizza Yalga bravely went through all the X-Ray’s, bloodwork, medical history, and any other examinations they needed.
It took a while and she was starting to get frustrated with all the tests, but she persisted, and soon it was over. They allowed us to stay the night to monitor the burn area in case complications arose. So we all stayed in the hospital room, enjoying our time together as if it was a little adventure.
“Mommy look, the bed moves!”
“Pup, please don’t break it.”
Yalga went crazy when she saw how many buttons the hospital bed had, and needless to say, she was enjoying it. She kept Dad occupied with all her questions both about the hospital and about anything else her mind could think of. She was happy to be done with the tests.
“Grandpa, do you think they’ll let me see my bone pictures later?”
“Sure, but they need someone who is trained to look at them first and show them to the doctors.”
“There’s someone who knows how to look at pictures of bones?”
“Yup, they can see things we can because they’re bone smart. Do you wanna be a doctor when you grow up?”
“I dunno. Maybe I can be a doctor for bones, a bone doctor!”
It was nice seeing her happy, but Salisek and I were still worried about what they would find. What would it take to heal Yalga? Could they do it? I think so, but how long will it take? I don’t care about the financial cost, I care about the physical and mental toll it would take on Yalga. But would we have a choice?
I looked to my fiance who was rapidly tapping her foot onto the ground, impatiently waiting for the doctor to come back in and give us the news on Yalga’s condition.
“It can’t be that bad right?” she whispered. “With aid from the Zurualians they must have a way to easily fix Yalga’s condition. So what’s taking them so long?”
“They’re probably just double checking some things. I’m sure it’s nothing.” I could tell she was still stressed, so I held her hand and kissed her cheek. “Our daughter will be fine.”
Salisek tried to keep herself from crying for Yalga’s sake, but had the doctors not finally arrived she might’ve broken.
“Carlos, Salisek? You’re the parents correct?” Dr. Trivia asked. “I’ll just need to see you both very quickly to discuss some things.”
Finally ready for some answers we quickly got up, kissed our baby goodbye for now, and followed the Zurulian to a small room with Dr. Brown.
“Mr. Rodriguez and Mrs., do you prefer to be called Salisek or are you fine with adopting Mrs. Rodriguez?” The doctor politely asked.
“I’m fine with either, but I would like to get used to Mrs. Rodriguez.” I could feel her hand strengthen her grip in mine.
“Wonderful,” Dr. Brown took out a small folder that showed some of Yalga’s X-Rays, notes, and documents. “First things first, your daughter's burns should heal very soon.”
“Courtesy of Zurulian medicine and Harchen Exterminator Accidents.”
“Yes, thank you Dr. Triva. But of course this is not the only information you wanted to know about. The condition of your daughter is concerning. Not only because of the condition of her injuries, but also her condition that allows her body to grow at an exaggerated rate.”
Dr. Triva put the X-Ray slides on a projector for us to see. Seeing Yalga’s bones and how badly they were broken made my stomach turn, and my heart sink. I could hear Salisek’s gasp from how shocked she was.
It looked like a child had rearranged the right side of her body like a poorly constructed jigsaw puzzle. What made things worse was that the other side of her body looked nearly untouched meaning we could see all the damage her sperm donor did. I know how it felt to have broken a few bones as a kid. Her life would’ve been torture for me. I have know idea how she could live like that.
Why didn’t I take her here the moment we got home? How long has she been suffering like this?
“As you can see the limbs that didn’t grow as much were the ones that were injured the most. Trauma can be a factor in how limbs develop,” Dr. Triva explained. “You can see here how the bones didn’t heal correctly. Upon questioning your daughter it’s no question her back holds the most problems, but looking at her arms and legs it’s possible they’re also providing an incredible amount of discomfort and pain.”
Salisek wrapped her tail around my leg nervously. “So, what does this mean?”
“It means,” Dr. Brown continued. “That before we even think about her back we should address what’s going on in the rest of her body. If you look at her pelvic bone you can see it isn’t straight due to her walking on uneven legs for lord knows how long. So we think it would be best to first start realigning the bones as well as doing the appropriate extensions. My only concern is that her accelerated growth may cause complications, so she’ll need to visit here frequently.”
My fiance’s grip tightened as she looked deeper into the X-Rays, “I see. How long will it take for her to recover?”
“Several months, due to the severity of it. We can do the arms and legs separately, but that would be up to you. There’s a possibility it could take longer. We just can’t be certain with her growth, but we’ll have experts working round the clock on her case.”
“I-I see. But you can help her right?”
“We will do all within our power to make sure your daughter is healthy and lives a pain free life.
“Thank you… could you give us a moment. We would like to let our daughter know about it before we make arrangements.”
“Of course. Please let us know when you’re ready.”
We politely walked out of the room and turned around the corner away from where Yalga was.
“Honey?” I asked. “Is everything okay?”
I almost fell over when she pulled me in for a hug. I could barely hear her through her bleats and cry’s. “Look at what that monster did to her.”
First Previous

Two years ago, Corey Vash got abducted by aliens, and a few months after that, he saved the universe -even if it was mostly on accident. Thanks to the skills of his new bounty hunter friends and no small amount of luck, Corey Vash saved the day, but hero status isn’t all its cracked up to be. The parades and the free drinks are over, leaving the bounty hunters with nothing but the expectations of a frightened universe and the overbearing attention of governments who want picture perfect heroes the only mostly sober crew aren’t cut out to be. With the shadow of another invasion still looming, a murderous new threat starts to stalk their every move, forcing Corey and the crew of the Wild Card Wanderer to move past the mess of bullets, booze, and blind luck that’s kept them alive and become actual heroes -even if they aren’t very good at it.
[First Book][Previous Chapter][Cover Art][Patreon]
Though Kamak did not accept the “job” to attend the new military installation’s unveiling, he still kept an eye on it. The Wild Card Wanderer had taken to the stars, orbiting Centerpoint at a distance, to watch the installation far away from any pomp and ceremony. The massive gun battery drifted into place and was joined to the rest of Centerpoint’s honeycombed platforms, fusing the weapons to the neighboring residential and business districts. The platform full of short-range cluster armaments was an effective deterrent to any Horuk attacks, and a blighted eyesore on the otherwise sleek, modern space station.
Kamak scowled. Centerpoint had been designed as the shining beacon for universal society, the best of everything cooperation could accomplish. Now they’d strapped a gun to it. There had always been outlying defensive stations and security fleets, but seeing a cluster of guns the size of a small city right next to the arts district felt different. It felt wrong.
“I don’t like any of this,” Kamak said. “Smells like they’re up to something.”
Kamak had, naturally, gotten his crew up to speed on everything Ghost had said, to predictably mixed reactions.
“Luckily for us, I think their intent is fairly transparent,” Farsus said. “They see more value in us as propaganda than as bounty hunters.”
“It’s never that simple,” Corey sighed.
“No offense, Corvash, but you’re a little paranoid to begin with,” Tooley said. “And the whole Morrakesh thing probably didn’t help.”
Corey owned a laser sword now, and he still carried a knife in his boot everywhere he went. He’d also insisted on installing an upgraded security system in the Wild Card Wanderer, and, thanks to the fact that Tooley now slept next to him regularly, she knew he was an incredibly light sleeper, frequently waking with a start at even the smallest noise.
“How is some secret Ghost assassin guy showing up to threaten us not something to be worried about?”
“I just think Farsus has a point,” Tooley said. “Now that we’re bigshot heroes they want us retired so we can’t fuck up and get ourselves killed or embarrass ourselves.”
“I’d think you’d be more offended by that,” Corey said.
“I am very offended, but they’re also giving me lots of money,” Tooley said. As boring as the rich people gigs were, they paid well. “It’s creating some very conflicting emotions.”
Tooley had an ego the size of a galaxy, but a love of money that was just as big if not bigger. She had already paid off the sizable cost of the Wild Card Wanderer, and was stocking up savings for the future, and maybe even a new, better ship.
“God, I know,” Kamak said. The money was making it very hard to be as mad as he wanted to be. Having been on the bad side of a conspiracy to make the entire universe hate him, he found it hard to be mad about a conspiracy to keep him famous and successful. “I’d almost rather they were being assholes about it. It’d make it a lot easier to be mad.”
“We keep being stubborn about it, we’ll probably get them there,” Corey said.
“Well I’m real good at being stubborn,” Kamak said. “So I guess we’ll find out.”
“Do we have to?”
All eyes went to Doprel. His massive frame looked hollow and deflated.
“What’s the point?” Doprel asked. “What’s the endgame? Where’s our win condition? Even as a matter of pride, like, to prove we’re not fuckups, isn’t saving the universe enough for that?”
Kamak nodded. That was a pretty big boost to the ego.
“Maybe it is a good idea for us to quit while we’re ahead,” Doprel said. “Even just logistically speaking, it’s going to be fucking hard to top stopping the Invasion, guys.”
“Yeah, well, that’s an easier choice for you guys to make than me,” Kamak said. “Rest of you fuckers are going to be dead in a few decades. I still got the better part of three centuries in me, at least.”
Kamak leaned back in his seat and watched the guns on Centerpoint spring to life, scanning the stars for any sign of an incoming threat. For a moment, one of the colossal guns turned their direction, and Kamak stared right down the barrel. Corey watched the guns turn as they all drifted through empty space.
“Do you guys want to take a vacation?”
“Vacation? Now?”
“Yeah,” Corey said. “We haven’t really taken a breather since we stopped the Invasion. I think maybe we all need to take some time to relax and unpack.”
“I don’t know. Feels like we’d be giving these assholes a taste of what they want.”
“Let them think that,” Corey said. “Let’s take a break. Not think about work for a while, and see how we feel about retiring or not retiring in a week or two.”
“You want to take some time off, I won’t stop you,” Kamak said. “Take your vacation, if you want.”
“If he’s going, I’m going,” Tooley said.
“Ah, of course you are,” Kamak said. “I try to forget you two are shacked up.”
“You can always pay for shuttles,” Tooley said. “I’m not the only pilot in the universe. Even if I am the best.”
“Not ditching me that easily,” Kamak said. “Fine. You kids pick somewhere to go and take your fucking vacation. I’ll get dragged along.”

To begin I want to say that none of my players have ever complained. This is purely my own opinion and observations of my game.
I run a homebrew world. One I have put a lot of time and care into fleshing out. I try my best to develop the history and lore of the world as well as adding details to the various kingdoms and regions.
I have had players tell me they enjoy the lore I provide them and they look forward to reading the handouts.
But during the sessions, I feel like the world is nothing but a flat, lifeless backdrop. Nothing but a mat painting the PCs can playact in front of. I try to create NPCs with life and personality, but I always feel like they end up as forgettable and generic. Nothing about the world ever seems to leave a lasting impression, and the players never seem invested beyond where the next adventure will be.
I don't know how to bring the world to life. How to make locations and NPCs feel like more than cardboard cutouts and set decorations.

Chapter CC
​
Trout's Landing.
​
Ruby stretched with a contented sigh. She turned her head over to where Jeb slept beside her. Or where he was when she fell asleep. She sat up and looked around the dark underground room but he wasn't here either.
"Wonder where he went."
​
Oh well, she thought as she stretched a few stiff muscles before hopping up and collecting their eggs. As nice as it was to sleep with them, they needed more consistent warmth. So she sat them to the side, bundled up in the still warm blanket, and departed to secure a source of fire for their eggs.
​
Which wasn't all that hard, she realized as her dark vision faded as the blue glow from the torches up ahead illuminated the main gathering area for the burrows. She smiled as she saw the tribe return to something familiar that she missed seeing for a while.
​
Several tunnels branched off towards the other cabins and already kobolds came and went from them as they began to migrate away from the chill air above for the, still cool but more comfortable, air below. As they did she could see the collections they brought back and forth. Animals, alive and dressed, were being moved down here and out of the elements for better care. As well as an easier time keeping the ever gluttonous salamanders from sneaking another meal. Scraps and salvage collected from around the lodge or while out exploring being brought down and being traded or even used to furnish the space.
​
Bits of wood with simple carvings were lodged into the dirt along side scraps of metal or rock with soot, mud, or crushed flower pigment to paint symbols or words on them for decoration or directions. While it wasn't the bustling forum that they once had, it gladdened her to see her tribe returning to normalcy once again.
​
She shook away the distracting thoughts and set her sights on some scrap of wood nearby. She darted over to the vendor, deftly avoiding a section of the ground being dug up as the kobolds dug ever deeper as they sought to expand their burrows ever more. It was in their nature to dig and burrow. While they no longer had a draconic master to excavate massive caverns and tunnels for, she wouldn't be surprised if kobold tunnels ended up expanding far past the border of the lodge itself and going far into the wild where they knew nothing about save for what little Jeb has told them.
​
Eventually, even this gathering area will be abandoned as the tribe moved deeper down, putting as much dirt and rock between them and whatever threats laid above. The only thing that would remain would be an assortment of traps to keep any invaders wary of going deeper than the kobolds wanted. Even then, many of the tunnels that would lead deeper would be dead-ends meant to slow or hinder any invader. Some would even be traps in and of themselves, collapsing the "tunnel" on top of even the most cautious of invader or even just blocking their escape and leaving them to die before the kobolds eventually dug out their remains and collected their gear with no trouble.
​
She stood before the assortment of wood and looked over the scrap. Some of it was processed lumber that looked to be from the buildings above, most was collected bits of wood from the forest though. Which was fine, she didn't need anything too big. No bartering took place. She was a leader of the tribe and it was assumed whatever she wanted was for the good of the tribe.
​
Even starting a warming fire for her eggs was good enough for the tribe to skip bartering and simply give her what she needed. So she collected enough wood for a nice fire and returned to her home. She sorted it into the indent in the ground that Jeb had placed their eggs in before. It would be a good place to start a heating fire for them, she thought as she finished arranging them.
​
She left and collected some tinder made of dried moss and grass before looking around for some stone or flint to start the fire with. But no such luck. All the stone was deeply imbedded in the dirt or was too large. She once more returned to the gathering area in search of fire. Which she quickly found in the form of the glowing blue fire that Jeb had created for the kobolds.
​
She shuffled a little as she stared at the dancing flame. She knew Jeb didn't like the idea of the kobolds using the blue fire. He probably wouldn't like the idea of heating their eggs with it either. She should be worried as well, she thought. But she wasn't. Staring at the flame reminded her of the vision that The Crone showed her. Of her and Jeb within a ring of flaming blue orbs. They were happy. The tribe was happy.
​
"He'll understand." She said as she darted and collected a piece of wood to transfer a spark from a nearby torch.
​
Ember in hand, she rushed back to her home. She gently eased the flame towards the bundle of wood. She yipped in shock when the flame leapt from her temporary torch and engulfed the pile! Their room burst into dancing shadows as the flames danced from their new home. So pretty, she thought as she stared at the fire. She had seen it when she would come out of their room in the old building for a break. But it seemed so mesmerizing now that it was right in front of her.
​
She widened the indent in the ground a little so that the eggs could receive the warmth from the fire without being too close. They might be mildly resistant to fire, but not enough to throw their eggs in a fire! Then again, she thought with worry as she held her claw out at the fire. The warmth from it isn't as strong as a normal fire it seemed. Like it was contained.
​
She clicked her claws in worry. She didn't want to push them too close, but they wouldn't get enough heat if they remained where they were. It would only get worse as it got colder and the cold seeped into the ground. Maybe just a little closer, she thought as she nudged the eggs closer to the fire.
​
The flames sputtered at the movement of air, but nothing more. She held out her claw to gauge the temperature once again. But it still wasn't enough, she thought as she clicked her claws against a nearby stone in thought. She cast a glance towards the tunnel. She could maybe see if one of the others have something to make a proper fire, she thought.
​
She put a claw on the eggs.
"No. That'll take too long."
​
She looked worryingly at the tunnel as if Jeb would appear and lambast her for even thinking what she was. She held her breath and pushed the eggs forwards. Then more. Then even more. The flames sputtered and danced as the eggs were pushed closer and closer. She could only just feel the heat as she did so. Why did the fire seem so weak, she thought as she pushed the eggs right up beside the bundle of burning wood.
​
Yet the fire seemed to move around the eggs, like they were doing their best to avoid touching them. Even the heat from the fire seemed to be avoiding them! Ruby growled in frustration and pushed the eggs right into the fire!
"Can you just keep them warm?!"
​
The fire stilled and froze as the eggs were pushed into it. As if it didn't know what to do. Then the flame roared to life once again. The balefire caressed the onyx shells as it seemed to dance across the smooth black surface of the shells. As if a barrier broke, the heat from the flame radiated outwards now. Ruby could now feel the warmth from the fire where seconds ago she felt nothing.
​
Ruby blinked at the eldritch flame and moved her claw to touch her eggs. She instinctively pulled back as a tongue of balefire arced in her direction. She whined in worry at possibly making a terrible mistake. She held her breath and once more reached out to caress her eggs. She bit her tongue and shut her eyes when the fire arced towards her once more.
​
But she didn't feel pain. No burning sensation one would get when normally sticking an appendage into a roaring fire. Instead she felt a comforting warmth. Like she felt when close to Jeb as they slept together. She cracked open an eye and found the baleful flame caressing her claw. She experimented a little by pulling her claw back, feeling as the flame seemed to latch on like it didn't want her to leave, before snapping back to its "body". She pushed her claw into the fire, further this time, all the way up to her elbow. The fire latched onto her once again and flooded her with a comforting warmth that shot straight to her core!
​
She turned her claw upwards and pulled back once more. She watched as the flame held on as she did so, once more refusing to leave her scales. She watched as the flame snapped once again, but this time, it broke! Instead of snapping back towards its body, she now held a burning ball of balefire in her claw!
​
She couldn't do magic. There were few of the tribe that could before they fled to this world. The Chief was the last among them that had any ability to harness it. Yet here she was, holding a magical fire within her claw! She watched as the flame danced and twisted in her grasp. She sucked in a breath when she watched it start to diffuse INTO her scales! The flame lessened and lessened as if it were dying, but instead the fire seeped between the cracks of her scales. She could feel it racing through her body, flooding it once more with a wave of comforting warmth.
​
"Den Mother?" A voice asked from the tunnel nearby.
​
Ruby yelped in surprise and turned towards the voice. She saw the Chief standing there watching her with a curious and amazed expression on his snout.
"Having fun?"
​
"Chief!? I was-"
​
"Playing with fire?" The Chief asked playfully as he stared at the blue fire.
​
She shuffled nervously as he did so. Eventually he chuckled and she began to relax.
"It's alright Den Mother. You're not the only one that Master Jeb's flame as entranced among the tribe."
​
"Why do you think it acts so different from normal fire?" She asked.
​
The Chief shrugged.
"Who knows. Perhaps it is how magic works in this world. Perhaps it is something on Master Jeb's part. Perhaps it is because our former- Kortaza, was the Keeper of Flame."
​
"But we never had much protection from fire before. And not any way to manipulate it." Ruby said.
​
The Chief sighed.
"True. I truly do not know why it is so different than normal fire. Fire is alive, yes. But this one seems almost..."
​
"Living?" Ruby suggested.
​
"Yes. Like it has a mind of its own. Though I doubt that much, perhaps it merely follows the will of Master Jeb, knowingly or not on his part." The Chief continued as he walked closer and sat down beside Ruby and watched the eggs glimmer and shine within the fire where they remained quiet for some peaceful moments.
​
The Chief then perked up.
"Oh! Master Jeb returned!"
​
"He did?! Where is he?" Ruby asked and looked around expecting to see him coming down the tunnel.
​
"Well, he did return. Rushed around and collected an assortment of food, and then he vanished away again. Something about a trade?" The Chief explained a little unsure.
​
She frowned, wonder what he was trading, she thought. Though, with the eggs now taken care of, and Jeb away for a moment. Perhaps now was the time she could see about doing something special for him. She turned to the Chief, he was more knowledgeable when it came to humans and their customs.
​
"Chief?" She asked.
​
"Yes? What is it?" He asked at the tone of her voice.
​
"What do you know of this world's humans?"
​
"Oh? What would you like to know?" He asked a little excited in being able to use his collected knowledge.
​
"What do humans do with those they care about?" She asked a little uncertainly.
​
The Chief hummed in thought and tapped his claws.
"It depends. Humans are as diverse in this world as ours. Many customs I've read about belong to different groups."
​
"What about the tribe that Jeb belongs to?"
​
The Chief hummed once more in thought and got up before darting away while calling back.
"I will check! I'm sure I have something!"
​
While she waited, she continued to play with fire and tend to her eggs. Since they were in the flame, they didn't need quite so studious attention as they did before. She could probably just leave them and go tend to her normal duties and not have to worry about them anymore.
​
Who was she fooling, she thought. Even if there was a way to hatch and tend to the eggs completely without her, she'd still want to look after them. She thought she heard Jeb mentioning something about an "electrical egg incubator" once upon a time. Whatever that was.
​
The Chief returned, huffing from being out of breath and holding a thickly bound tome with pages of different sizes and colors poking out of the patched bindings. He placed the heavy tome on the ground with a huff.
"This is my collection of this world's customs and knowledge. If there is something that will assist you it will be in here somewhere!"
​
Ruby oohed and awed as the Chief flipped open the tome and leafed through page after page of information. Some were pages from magazines, others were snippets and clippings from books, there was a few pages that contained pressed cuttings of local flora as well as a collection of small animal bones among the bindings.
​
They stopped on a page that read MODERN COURTING FOR THE MODERN WOMAN in bold letters on a page that felt smooth to the touch. On the cover was a gorgeous human woman wearing a sleek beautiful dress and jewelry. Ruby pointed towards the page.
"Oh this one!"
​
They thumbed through the pages looking for information. Most neither one of them got as it talked about stuff like make-up, libido, popular fashion, and other things that they didn't either understand or see the appeal of. Then they found a page that described how a modern woman should act. Though this seemed to confuse the both of them even more.
​
"Be 'dem-or' and assertive? What does 'dem-or' mean?" Ruby asked the Chief.
​
"I'm not sure. There are many words within that don't seem to fit." He explained.
​
A pattern they soon found to be common among the pages of information, much of the words would make sense but spread out among them were these spots of words that seemed just out of place. What they COULD understand still didn't make any sense either.
​
"Be soft yet firm? How does that work?" The Chief asked.
​
"If you like a potential mate why make him keep trying to win your heart?" Ruby asked equally confused.
​
"Modern" humans were just as confusing to them it seemed. However, among the pages of contradictory information, they were able to get SOMETHING of value! Humans like gifts. Though they both knew that and didn't really feel like these pages of "modern courting" did anything more than confuse them.
​
"What kind of gifts?" The Chief asked as he and Ruby tried to decipher the mess of flowery wording and nonsense.
​
"Jewelry, clothes, food." Ruby read off as they got the general gist of the overly convoluted wording. The pictures helped more though.
​
"Well! At least we found something... I think?" The Chief declared at least with a little uncertainty.
​
"Why did you collect all this?" Ruby asked.
​
"It was in a book, so I thought it was important. But it would seem that not everything in this world's books are worth keeping." The Chief stated before retrieving the tome and departing.
​
"Where are you going?"
​
"To go through my collection. It would seem that some of it is not as important as I first thought." He called out as he left.
​
She could hear him mumbling to himself and heard the occasional tearing as he did. Well, at least they found something, she thought as she turned towards the eggs once more. She placed a claw on the onyx shells and felt the comforting warmth of the fire as well as the warmth of the eggs. They'll be fine for now, she thought as she got up and left.
​
"Jewelry, clothes, and food." Ruby murmured as she went down the tunnel once again.
​
He was getting low on clothes, she thought. But there wasn't much around here to make some with. Though perhaps some animal hides would work? But much of what they've collected was too small for clothes of Jeb's size. Getting him food seemed redundant too. He could make his own food whenever he wished. Which left jewelry.
​
It was the better of the options, but they didn't have much in the way of jewelry either. No raids means no loot and the piles of treasure back in their former home wasn't exactly a priority at the time of their exodus. But then she spied the copper wire the kobolds had collected while scavenging. A copper band would be nice, she thought as she was given the piece of wiring from the scavenger.
​
But what else, she thought as she looked around some more. The pictures in the magazine showed jewelry that glittered with gold and diamonds and so much more that they no longer had. Nothing around here could compare, she thought dejectedly. But then she saw a group of kobolds coming down a tunnel with a collection of shells and waterlogged timber.
​
"What is this?" She asked them.
​
"Salvage from the camps up river." The kobold replied as he and the others began to sift and sort the mess.
​
She watched as they distributed everything they collected to the tribe that came over. Some took the waterlogged wood, others took polished stones, and others took the collection of shells. She eyed the shells. Back home, alot of the fishfolk in the rivers and around the sea collected pearls from the water. Perhaps the ones upriver also had some?
​
She followed after the group of kobolds that had collected the shells and assisted them in opening a few. Mussels were what was mainly here, no surprise though since it seemed they were far from this world's ocean. What was a surprise was how many pearls they actually managed to find among the mussels!
​
It was rare for the kobolds to find one during their fishing trips by the sea. Even among the rivers pearls were not much more common. So it surprised them that several mussels had multiple pearls within them! She was going to actually barter for potentially the single one they found, but with there being so many the shuckers didn't mind at all and gave Ruby a small handful for her project.
​
They weren't all that big, but that was fine by her. They'd do for what she had in mind. She borrowed a small thin metal needle from a scavenger and retreated back to her room. Copper wire and freshwater pearls in claw.
​
-----
​
Well, that's taken care of, Jeb thought as he appeared in the open air of the lodge. He flicked the gold and garnet band into the air and got it with a spring in his step and a tune on his lips as he made his way over to the Trap Master who stood near the river where he received reports from the salvagers.
​
"How's things?" He asked when he got close.
​
"Good. Strange. But good." The Trap Master stated as he dismissed the salvagers.
​
"How so?"
​
"The 'murlocs' you called them? Haven't returned to their former homes." He explained.
​
"And? Wasn't that kinda the point?"
​
"It was. But there isn't any sign of anything else other than birds flocking to the area."
​
"Again, wasn't that the point?"
​
"Only if something worse didn't move in." The Trap Master explained further.
​
Jeb groaned.
"What moved in?"
​
"Nothing."
​
"Nothin'?"
​
"That we can see. No new tracks, no scents, nothing."
​
"So what's the problem?"
​
"The problem is that much carrion should've drawn every scavenger and hungry animal for miles."
​
"But it hasn't." Jeb finished.
​
"No. The birds infest the area but largely leave us alone. Though some get a little territorial over their spots of carrion. But nothing else has moved into the area."
​
Jeb groaned again.
"So what do you wanna do?"
​
"Nothing."
​
"Really?" Jeb asked in surprise.
​
"Yes. If the other animals and creatures nearby are giving the place a wide berth then we'll exploit it as long as we can. We'll send some scouts to keep an eye on the place though."
​
"Perhaps the smell of death is what's doin' it?" Jeb suggested.
​
"Maybe. Would explain the large number of birds. But nothing else?"
​
"Yeah, you're right. Well let me know if you need help with it." Jeb said.
​
"Will do."
​
"Oh! Before I forget, I made a trade agreement with the dwarves."
​
The Trap Master cocked a scaled brow.
"Oh?"
​
"Yeah. Food for tools. We'll need to set aside five crates twice a week, but we'll get some decent tools to help speed up excavation." Jeb explained.
​
The Trap Master tapped his claws against his scales in thought.
"That's doable."
​
"You sure? Cuz I'm more than happy to do it all myself." Jeb said and conjured an apple to make his point.
​
"No. The tools are for us, we should assist. Besides, we gathered more for our former master. Five crates twice a week will be easy enough to do." The Trap Master stated in a relaxed tone.
​
"Alright, if you're certain." Jeb said.
​
"I am. We'll let you know if anything changes." The Trap Master replied.
​
"Alright, have it your way." Jeb returned and departed while tossing the conjured apple towards the lazing salamanders nearby.
​
Jeb ported down to the main gathering area. The place was just as busy as when he left as the kobolds went about their duties and tasks with vigor and joy that he's only really seen when they were staying in his basement. Guess he was the one living in their basement now, he thought with a chuckle.
​
He played with the gold and garnet band as he shuffled nervously. Wasn't sure why he was so nervous, he thought. She already had his kids, kinda, sorta. They were already living together. This would just be the natural progression of things. Kinda, sorta. He heaved in a big gulp of air to steady his nerves.
​
"Alright. Quite procrastinatin' Jeb." He muttered to himself and started down the tunnel towards his home.
​
He stopped when his boot stepped on something different. He looked down and picked up a magazine page.
"Modern courtin' for the modern woman? Where the hell did this come from?"
​
Probably Sammy's, Jeb thought as he tossed aside the girly garbage. Not sure what it was doing out here though. Maybe she brought it for Thanksgiving and forgot it? Or maybe the kobolds swiped it when they raided her hairspray? Or maybe she just left it among his other articles one of the times she and his pa would go over to his place.
​
"Oh well." He said as he continued on.
​
He could hear humming as he got closer, and saw a familiar pale blue light. He walked into his room and saw Ruby humming as she tinkered with something. Nearby was their eggs, sitting in the balefire. He should've panicked. He should've dropped everything and ran over trying to save his kids. That's what a father would do right?
​
But he didn't have that gut wrenching feeling of seeing your kids in danger he thought he would. Still, he walked over beside Ruby. She yelped in surprise and fumbled with what she was working on as Jeb reached out a hand and touched their onyx colored eggs.
​
"Jeb?! I was- They were-" Ruby tried to explain while also trying to gather her things.
​
"It's alright." Jeb said.
​
"It is?" She asked with concern.
​
"Yeah. They're not hot." He said as he stroked the shells through the fire that did nothing to him.
​
"Are you sure?" She asked with worry and concern.
​
"Yeah. Doubt it'll do anythin' more to 'em." Jeb said with a bit more bitterness in his voice than he wanted there to be.
​
He saw Ruby's face fall at his words. Nice job dickhead, Jeb thought to himself. He sighed and turned towards Ruby.
"I'm sorry. I'm just nervous 'bout everythin' happenin'."
​
"I'm nervous too." She stated and leaned into him for a hug, which he eagerly returned.
​
They held each other for a long moment before Ruby perked up and scrambled away.
"Hold on! Don't look!"
​
"Look at what?" Jeb asked with a cocked brow as he did his best to hide his own gift.
​
"I said don't look!" She chided.
​
"Alright!" He said with a laugh.
​
He turned away as he heard her grumbling and fumbling with whatever she was working on when he walked in on her. While he waited, he stretched out his hand and caressed their eggs. Please don't get any weirder, he pleaded mentally while he waited.
​
"Ok! You can look now!" Ruby called at last.
​
Jeb turned back around and saw Ruby holding a ring towards him. It was some braided copper wire with a couple of small pearls threaded on. She held it up to him.
"What do you think?"
​
Wait, was this a gift or was she asking him to marry her, Jeb thought. He had to say something though, the look of confusion on his face was making Ruby sad.
"I love it! What's it for exactly?"
​
"Well, I'm courting you!" She said as Jeb accepted the copper and pearl braided band.
​
"Courtin' me? What does that-" Jeb started when he noticed a rustle from his left boot.
​
He looked down and pulled off a piece of paper that had stuck to it. MODERN COURTING FOR THE MODERN WOMAN, it said in bold on the paper. He turned it around towards Ruby.
"Did you read this?"
​
She shuffled.
"Yes? I wasn't sure how you court a human in this world! But the words were confusing and didn't make any sense and- why are you laughing?"
​
"I'm laughin' because this is trash! None of the stuff in here is how you should court someone!" Jeb said with a laugh.
​
"But it says-" Ruby started when Jeb tossed the magazine paper into the nearby fire, which ate it instantly.
​
"It's just somethin' that girls read to pass the time. Nothin' in there is worth the paper it's printed on." Jeb declared.
​
"Oh. So?" Ruby asked dejectedly as she gestured to the ring she made for Jeb.
​
"This is just fine. Though do you know what it means to get a ring for someone?" Jeb asked.
​
"That they love one another?" Ruby said a little unsure now.
​
"Yeah. I guess it does. But the act of givin' someone you love a ring is a symbol that you want to be together." Jeb explained and produced his own gift for Ruby.
​
Her eyes went wide as she grasped the gold and garnet band.
"But we're already together."
​
"Yeah. We are."
​
"So what does the rings mean?" Ruby asked as she examined the band.
​
"Well, it's more religious really."
​
"Oh?"
​
"Yeah. It's supposed to mean... somethin'." Jeb started as he realized he didn't entirely recall what the meaning of the ring was supposed to mean.
​
"Mean what?" Ruby pressed as she tried to fit the band on her arm and then her tail.
​
"Well. It generally means being together forever."
​
"But why the ring?"
​
"It means a sort of exclusivity for folk." Jeb explained.
​
"Why? What about the rest of the tribe? Does that mean you won't help them?" She asked.
​
"No! I can, or will, or... this is harder than I thought it'd be." Jeb said with a sigh.
​
Ruby cocked a brow as well.
"So what happens?"
​
"Well, we exchange rings and promise to love one another forever. In sickness and health and yada yada. Then we're husband and wife." Jeb explained.
​
"Why? We're already mates and we love one another. What does our health have to do with it? And what is a 'husband and wife'?"
​
"Well... You know what? Forget it. Do you promise to love me?"
​
"Yes! Do you?"
​
"Yup!"
​
"Yay!" Ruby cried and hugged Jeb.
​
"And I now pronounce you man and wife." Jeb muttered as he kissed Ruby.
​
Ruby giggled and pulled away.
"So what happens now?"
​
"Now... I don't know. Usually there would also be paper work, but given... us, it prob'bly wouldn't matter."
​
"So what changes?" Ruby asked as she affixed the gold and garnet band to one of her horns with a smile.
​
"Uhm... nothin'? We're already together, we already live together, we already have kids... kinda." Jeb listed off.
​
"So what's the rings supposed to mean?"
​
"It means... I love you." Jeb replied at last, giving up on trying to explain something he himself wasn't entirely informed of.
​
"I love you too!" Ruby cried and kissed him.
​
He returned the kiss. Not like this would've been an official wedding anyway, Jeb thought. They don't exactly have a licensed priest to officiate it. Or witnesses. He doubt their still shelled eggs would count. He could ask the Chief to oversee it. But he already got a headache trying to explain marriage to Ruby, he didn't really want to explain it to the Chief, or any other kobolds that might be interested.
​
Not like it made anything different, Jeb thought. Ruby was right. They loved one another. They lived together. They had kids together. For all intense and purpose, they were mates. Sure if he was particularly religious he could insist on going to a church and doing things official. But given how things have turned out for them lately, he wouldn't be surprised if he burst into flames stepping inside a church.
​
Well, there was ONE tradition that they could still do, Jeb thought with a smirk as he picked up Ruby bridal style.
"Wanna consummate our marriage?"
​
"What does that mean?" She asked.
​
"Don't worry. You'll like it." Jeb said as he led her over to their moss bed.
​
[First] [Prev] [Next]

Hey there! I'm reaching out for advice, especially from those who were adopted at birth. I'm a birth parent, but I can't fully grasp the adoptee's perspective. Let me give you a bit of background.
I've always dreamed of having a big, happy family, probably because my own upbringing was far from ideal. Growing up, I had a deadbeat dad who disappeared when I was a teen, leaving me to deal with a narcissistic mom who made my life a living hell. Despite these challenges, I became a mom myself at just 16. Raising my son, J, amidst the chaos of my own teenage years was tough, but I fought tooth and nail to give him the best life possible. It wasn't easy, especially with my abusive ex constantly in the picture, making custody battles a regular occurrence. Then, when I was 21 and already struggling to keep my head above water, I found out I was pregnant again. This time, I was homeless and alone, with no support from the baby's father who had ghosted me. Faced with an impossible situation, I made the heartbreaking decision to give my second child, D, up for adoption in the hopes that they would have a better life than I could provide. Little did I know, the adoptive parents turned out to be just as abusive, if not worse, than my own parents. We were supposed to have an open adoption so I could get pictures and videos with updates at least, but it isn’t legally enforceable. Now I have no way of knowing if D is safe or alive or anything. I don’t know what they look like or sound like.
It's been a long and painful journey, but with the help of therapy and a strong support system, I've managed to pick up the pieces of my life. Now, at 26, I'm engaged to my best friend of 8 years, and we're planning our wedding. One of the things that drew me to him is our shared dream of having children, a decent sized family. He's eager to be a stepdad to J, and the thought of starting a family with him fills me with both excitement, but also dread. On one hand, I long to experience the joys of parenthood again, to have the chance to raise a child in a loving and stable environment finally. But on the other hand, I can't shake the guilt and fear that come with the memory of giving D up for adoption.
Would it be fair to J, who has already been through so much, to bring another child into our lives? And what about D? How would they feel knowing that I gave them up to care for J, only to have more children later on? These thoughts weigh heavily on my mind, and I haven't talked about this with my fiancé yet, not because I fear his reaction—he's always been supportive and loving—but because I don't want to cause him anxiety or hurt him. He's always dreamed of having kids, and I know it would devastate him if I decide otherwise. So, if you were adopted at birth, I'd love to hear your perspective on this. How would you feel if your birth parents went on to have more children after giving you up for adoption?

For the past few weeks I've been trying to move my uBPD mom into a senior living apartment about an hour away from me. Long story short (and summarizing a few other posts I've posted on here), her and my dad are 110% not compatible for a variety of reasons, which on top of recent medical issues she's had caused stress and sent her into a medical emergency that almost killed her. It was the kick in the rear she needed to finally want to move out of the house, and I've been trying to do what I can to support her and move things forward.
I got in touch with an organization that helps find senior living. I found a potential apartment in a good area. I took half a day off work to go down and tour the place for myself. I acted as the "middle man" and filled her in on all the details and options, to which she agreed to and said it sounded great. I put down a $350 deposit to reserve the place for 60 days while she did the application. I filled out most of the application for her because she has a hand tremor - all she had to do was fill in her income details.
Every step along the way has been met with complaints - she can't remember the password to log in to her computer to print the application, which I'm apparently supposed to figure out for her. She has to go get the thing notarized and mail it back up, which annoys her. She has to provide proof of income, which is inconvenient. All along the way I've tried to support her, reassuring her that this is just part of the process and she'll be in a new place soon and will have the chance for a fresh start.
Everything came to a head today. She doesn't understand why the apartment needs to know her sources of income - I try to tell her that it's because they want to know she can pay rent, and I've had to do it for all the apartments I've lived in. She then creates a narrative in her head that she feels like they're going to screw her over, charging her more rent than other tenants because she has a pretty nice sized inheritance she received from her dad. She then spins it further saying that I picked a low income "ghetto" apartment for her, and the reviews she read all say the place is crap.
Not sure where she got that from or what complex she looked up, because the reviews I saw averaged 4.5 stars and the place has received awards from the county for being a great place to live. Not to mention I actually went down and SAW the place myself, including the EXACT apartment she'd be staying in.
She went from excited and eager to backtracking, claiming that I'm gullible and just take everything at face value and that it actually looks sketchy. Yes, I'm gullible, but I've lived in this area for 12 years and know what low-income apartments look like. Plus I FREAKING WENT AND LOOKED AT THE PLACE, gave her all the details I had on the amenities, sent pictures/videos, etc.
I talked on the phone with her earlier today and flat out told her she was misconstruing things. I finally got tired of spinning my wheels and told her I couldn't talk about this anymore, then hung up. She then proceeded to text me that she now has evidence it was low income because the $1775/month standard package she's applying for only includes XYZ, while the premium package includes ABCDEFGXYZ. I told her that we had already discussed premium vs. standard, and she had said in those conversations the standard sounded just fine for her needs.
She simply replied back "It's my life."
To which I told her that yes, it's her life, but if she backs out of this she's on her own finding a place. That I'm trying to help her but feel like she doesn't trust my judgment. I've spent so much time and energy to try to help her, all while juggling work and parenting and her complaints, with little to no appreciation. In fact, she had the nerve last week to say that SHE was doing all the work and I wasn't doing anything.
I told her that I didn't have the energy to deal with this right now and that I was turning the phone off, to which she said "Oh poor you."
I've since blocked her - not sure for how long yet, but as someone who is a chronic people pleaser and de-escalator who always folded under her it felt DAMN good to not cave to her delusions.

Closet Clearout wednesday! Gotta let some of my reps go to make space for some new stuff. All clothes have been washed and are clean and almost new.
EU sale only!!
PayPal Invoice only!
Shipping inside Ger: 6€ Shipping inside EU: 16€
Photo + tagged timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/Er96KOb
Album: https://imgur.com/a/LQ9ht7T
CH Jeans
Length 108cm, waist 45cm Worn once, not my style really so letting it go, from logan. Price: 30€
B4lenciaga Hoodie M-L
Great Hoodie, really comfy and heavy. Embroidery also looks great, has been only worn twice. Price: 30€
G4llery Dept. Shirt M
Basic shirt, light fabric, great for summer. Has been worn once. Price: 20€
St0ne Island long sleeve M-L
Nice long sleeve, fits lose and comfy. Patch looks good. From top stoney Price: 25€
L0uis Vuitt0n Winbreaker Size L
One of the greatest reps of LV I ever owned, jacket is really heavy and is super comfortable and the overall quality is really really good! The fabric looks lighter in the pictures because of the camera but it is stunning in real life and even feels better! From cloyad Price: 80€
Reprsnt Basic washed blank Crewneck L
Well a Basic crewneck in a washed stone colorway, heavy fabric and comfy fit. Price: 25€
R1ck 0wens Drkshdw low EU45
Really good quality and almost like new on the upper. Has been worn only twice, comes with Box. From Rick Price: 60€
N1ke Aj1 Travis x Fragment High EU44
Almost in perfect condition, worn it only once and had it on Display since. SK Exclusive (best batch). Come without Box. Price: 70€
If you have any further questions feel free to pm me :)

I am a failure, I have this immense feeling of guilt, and I feel absolutely gutted to the core.
When I was pregnant I had GD so I got more growth ultrasounds and my LO was always in the >99th percentile for head size. I didn't really think anything of it as large heads run in my family. My grandpa, uncle, aunt, 3 boy cousins, and my sister were all born with large heads.
My LO has been progressing really well. He was born strong - could already support his neck, and has been growing like a weed and packing on the pounds. He can now lift his head during tummy time and support himself for minutes at a time - which is ahead of schedule. He moves constantly, really only sits still to eat. He's 8.5weeks.
Anyways I was taking pictures a few days ago of my LO doing tummy time on my husband's chest. As I was looking back at the pictures I couldn't help but notice how his head shape had changed in such a short amount of time. He always had a prominent brow but now it was like The Brain from pinky and the brain, round shaped with a very prominent brow.
So I googled this, assuming it was just a phase all babies go through and I was wondering when they start to grow out of it. What I came across was something called frontal bossing. My babies forehead looks text book to the picture. I started looking into causes and see Vitamin D deficiency - Rickets and my heart sank. I'm sitting here absolutely shattered, I completely forgot about these Vitamin D supplements. I have been neglecting these for 2 whole months. He maybe got 3 bottles in the first week and then nothing. I live in the Midwest, we have not been outside a whole lot and when we do he is pretty well shaded for walks.
I started looking at his body and his arms and legs looked bowed. I can't unsee the protruding forehead which cannot be cured, its there forever - the damage is done. I am sitting just sobbing writing this right now at the idea I caused this deformity on him. It makes me absolutely sick to my stomach at how ignorant and just stupid I have been to forget these, something so simple. It's one thing to make a mistake and mess up your own life, but to have actively caused this in my LO is something I can never forgive myself for. I am terrified to tell my husband about this. Terrified for his 2 month apt in a few days I don't even want anyone's sympathy, it is so undeserving.
I obviously started the drops and we have been sitting outside a bit each morning, but the damage I caused will always be staring me back for as long as I live, and I don't know how I can ever live with myself. We tried for 7 years to have a child, and now I wish it had never happened, I hate myself. I would give anything under the sun to go back in time.
To be clear, I have not had much anxiety through PP. I am actually extremely laid back and had the mentality that cave men raised children so it's going to be ok. But the idea that I could have created an easily avoidable deformity is something that is hard to swallow. It's one thing if I just didn't know about the drops - mistakes happen, but to actively forget for this long and only to he reminded because I noticed something pecular that is directly caused by what I neglected is hard to rationalize.

Alright I get it, LOML? Is this guy insane at 19 really? Yes Hopefully my first relationship will be my only. So without further a due, here we go...
Introduction
Hi, my name is Jonathan. Nice too meet you. Im 19 originally from the US and my interest and what I am passionate about is running, gym, traveling, gaming, and anime. My goals and priorities in life are to gain experience with managing money and how it works and starting a business of my own, creating a family and watch as our kids grow up(cheesy I know), and having enough free time to enjoy it with the fam such as traveling and also pursueing passions of mine. This is the general gist about me.
Looks:
I will send you a picture and saying high just so you are aware of what I look like because I think both of the physical and mental aspects of attraction are equally important. I will describe myself here so you get a general idea of what your getting into I guess lol. Im a 6ft 1(185cm for Europeans), 142 lbs hispanic guy with glasses. Im a tall lanky dude is the gist of it.
Interests and Passions:
Loved running as a kid, loved it as a highschooler, and still love it now as an adult. Longistance is my favorite but hey I can do walks if youd like. Gym is good for me in the long run and I love the progression. Shred for summer am I right. I picked up a love for traveling when I first visited NYC when I was 18 and loved the though of exploring new places, recently picked up a side passion of traveling in the form of unplanned spontanious trips(sometimes). Now being in Europe I have the option to go to a whole different country in just a couple hours like what???? I always loved video games as a kid and still now although I have less and less time to play them. Some of my favorites are SQUAD, WARFRAME,LEAGUE OF LEGENDS and ESCAPE FROM TARKOV just to name some but games Ive loved in the past are APEX LEGENDS, ROCKET LEAGUE, RUST, COD BO, FORTNITE, and DAYZ. Love games :). Anime is definetly a big one for me. Been getting into manga more recently but some of my favorite anime have to be action like MHA, Death Note, AOT, Naruto, Demon Slayer but favorite one is by far ONE PIECE. I also like some other animes that arent action like Dr. Stone.
Goals in Life:
I want to be financially stable is the main gist and free up a lot of time for adventures like traveling with my family or my passions like anime running and video games. Learning about money is by far the best way to achieve that goal. I want to start a family eventually maybe in the late or mid 20s depending on my partner. Just something about being a father and experiencing that joy of having another little you running around and watching and mentoring them as they grow up and become successful is just something else really. To reiterate what I said in the first sentance about financial stability goal I would like to do so to free up time and focus more on fun things with the family and enjoying the short life we've got to the fullest experiencing as much as we can.
What Im looking for in terms of looks and personality:
Have at least some mutal interest. Preferably be at a healthy or normal BMI, so really no overweight(sounds fatphobic I know but its just what I prefer) ladies, dealbreaker. Be 18+ (I say this for the Europeans mostly cause US knows its 18+ or a case). Thats really it, dont really care about the size of your butt or chest. Some preferences that are not dealbreakers but bonus or brown ie points are short haired, short, gamer, or asian. Again not dealbreakers or anything but it is prefered. Dont be rude as well.
Alright thats the end thanks for reading this, care more about having a special someone that cares about me and is eager to talk to me or be romantic. Hopefully if you are in europe we can meet up after getting to know each other. Have a great day. PS. if you did come this far us this emoji🗣️ and DM me if you found me interesting or would like to talk.

Note:

• All keys are primarily from US/NA region
• My list maybe slightly outdated so I apologize in advance if some of the games mentioned are already traded/Sold.
• I accept XBOX keys as well.
• I accept paypal only via goods and services so all transactions will include fees.
• My Wishlist, I am just interested in these games and mentioned in wants below.

HAVE

• .hack//G.U. Last Recode
• 10 Second Ninja X
• 112 operator
• 198X x 2
• 8 doors
• 9 Years of Shadows
• 911 Operator x 2
• A Fisherman's Tale
• A Juggler's Tale
• A Little Golf Journey
• A Sceptic's Guide to Magic
• A Tale of Paper: Refolded Edition
• A.I.M. Clan Wars
• Aces and Adventures x 1
• Aegis Defenders x 3
• Ageless x 3
• Alekhine's Gun
• Alien Spidy
• Alwa's Awakening
• Amanda the Adventurer
• American Fugitive x 3
• Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
• Amnesia: Rebirth x 2
• Anna's Quest x 2
• Anuchard
• Arcade Paradise
• Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP x 2
• Arcade Spirits
• Arto
• As Far As The Eye
• Astalon: Tears of the Earth
• AtmaSphere
• Attack of the Earthlings
• Automachef x 3
• Automobilista
• Autonauts vs Piratebots x 3
• Axiom Verge
• Axiom Verge 2
• Back 4 Blood - STRICT NA REGION LOCK x 2
• Ballpoint Universe - Infinite
• Bartlow's Dread Machine
• Batman: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition
• Batman: Arkham City GOTY
• Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
• Batman: Arkham Origins
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
• Bayonetta
• Beacon Pines x 2
• Before We leave
• Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery
• Beholder 2
• Bendy and the Dark Revival x 2
• Between the stars x 4
• Beyond the wire x 2
• Big Crown Showdown
• Bionic Commando x 2
• Blade Assault
• Blasphemous
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night x 3
• Book of Demons x 3
• Boomerang Fu
• Borderlands 2 Game of the Year x 2
• Boreal Blade x 3
• Boundless
• Bravery and Greed
• Broken Age
• Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
• Builder Simulator x 1
• Bunker Punks
• Butcher
• CAPITALISM 2
• CHESS ULTRA
• CODE VEIN
• CROSSBOW: Bloodnight x 2
• Call of Juarez Gunslinger
• Canyon Capers
• Capitalism 2
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
• Car Mechanic Simulator VR
• Cardaclysm
• Carnival Games VR
• Caveman World: Mountains of Unga Boonga
• Celeste
• Charlie's Adventure
• Chicken Assassin Reloaded
• Children of Silentown x 2
• Chivalry 2 x 2
• Chivalry: Medieval Warfare x 2
• Citizen Sleeper
• CivCity: Rome x 3
• Civilization III x 2
• Clutch
• Cobra Kai: The Karate Kid Saga Continues
• Conan Exiles
• Convoy
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
• Cook-Out
• Cookie Cutter
• Cosmic Star Heroine
• Crash Drive 3
• Crazy Machines 3
• Crown Trick
• Cultures - 8th Wonder of the world
• Cursed Castilla (Maldita Castilla Ex)
• Cyber Hook x 2
• DISTRAINT 2 x 2
• DOOM Eternal DELUXE EDITION
• DUCATI - 90th Anniversary
• Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC x 2
• Danger Scavenger
• Dangerous Worlds x 2
• Dark Future: Blood Red States
• Darksburg x 2
• Darkwood
• Dead Age
• Dead In Vinland x 2
• Death's Gambit: Afterlife
• Deleveled x 2
• Demon Pit
• Deponia: The Complete Journey x 2
• Derange
• Desert Child
• Desolate x 2
• Destroy All Humans! 2 - Reprobed x 2
• Deus Ex: Mankind Divided - Digital Deluxe Edition
• DiRT Rally
• DiRT Rally 2.0 - H2 RWD Double Pack
• DiRT Rally 2.0 - Opel Manta 400
• Dirt Rally 2.0 - Porsche 911 RGT Rally Spec
• Dirt Rally x 2
• Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
• Disjunction - gog
• Do Not Feed the Monkeys
• Dracula: Love Kills
• Drake Hollow x 2
• Draw Slasher x 2
• Drawful 2 x 2
• Dreams in the Witch House x 2
• Dreamscaper x 2
• Driftland: The Magic Revival x 5
• Ducati - 90th Anniversary
• Due Process x 3
• Duke Nukem Forever collection x 4
• Dust to the End
• Dying Light Definitive Edition
• ELEX II x 4
• ETHERBORN
• Eador. Imperium
• Earth 2140
• Earth Defence Force 4.1 + all dlc
• Earth Defence Force: Iron Rain
• EarthX
• Edge Of Eternity x 3
• El Matador
• Elderand
• Eldest Souls
• Ember
• Enclave (Gold) x 2
• Encodya - GOG x 2
• Endless Space 2 x 2
• Endzone - A World apart
• Enslaved™: Odyssey To The West™ Premium Edition
• Eternal Threads x 4
• Eternity: The Last Unicorn
• Evergarden x 2
• Evoland Legendary Edition x 2
• Exiled Kingdoms x 2
• Expeditions: Rome x 2
• Expeditions: Viking
• F1 2017 1988 McLAREN MP4/4 Classic Car DLC
• FAR: Lone Sails x 2
• Family Man x 3
• Fantasy Blacksmith
• Fantasy Versus
• Farmer's dynasty x 2
• Fated Souls 3
• Fear Effect Sedna
• Fictorum
• Field of Glory II x 2
• Field of Glory: Empires
• Figement
• Final Fantasy III (3D Remake)
• Five Dates x 2
• Fling to the Finish
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel x 2
• For The King
• Foretales x 1
• Four Sided Fantasy
• Friends vs Friends x 4
• Frog Detective 2: The Case Of The Invisible Wizard x 3
• Frogun
• From Space x 3
• Fun With Ragdolls: The Game x 2
• Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
• Fury Unleashed x 5
• GOD EATER 3 x 2
• GRID Autosport - Premium Garage Pack DLC
• GRID Autosport - Road & Track Car Pack DLC
• GRIP: Combat Racing Artifex DLC x 3
• GameGuru x 2
• GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months x 2
• Garage: bad trip
• Garfield Kart
• Garfield Kart - Furious Racing
• Gauntlet
• GemCraft - Chasing Shadows
• Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition x 3
• Ghost Of A Tale
• Ghost Song
• Gift of Parthax
• Glitch Busters x 2
• Gloria Victis x 2
• Gnog
• Go Home Dinosaurs x 2
• Gold Rush! Classic
• Golden Light x 3
• Golf Club Wasteland
• Gotham Knights
• Gothic 3
• Grand Mountain Adventure
• Green Hell (Region locked)
• Guts and Glory
• Guts and glory
• Hardspace: Shipbreaker x 3
• Have a nice Death
• Headsnatchers x 2
• Heal
• Heavy Burger
• Heli Heroes
• Helion
• Hell Pie
• Hell let loose
• Hellpoint x 2
• Hero's Hour (NA Region) x 3
• Hexologic
• Hi-Fi RUSH
• Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire x 3
• Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack x 2
• Hiveswap Friendsim x 2
• Hiveswap: Act 1
• Homefront
• Homestead Arcana x 2
• Honey, I Joined a Cult x 2
• Horizon Chase Turbo x 2
• Hot Brass x 2
• Hot Wheels Unleashed
• Hotshot Racing x 3
• Hue x 2
• Hyperdrive Massacre
• I Expect You To Die
• Ice Age: Scrat's Nutty Adventure
• Ikenfell x 3
• Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition x 2
• In sound mind x 2
• Indivisible x 5
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Insurmountable
• Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
• Interstellar Space: Genesis
• Introvert Quest
• Iratus: Lord of the Dead
• Iris And The Giant
• Iron Danger
• Iron Sky Invasion
• Jack Move
• Jack Orlando: Director's Cut
• Journey of Greed
• Journey of a Roach x 2
• JumpJet Rex
• Jurassic Park Classic Games Collection
• Just Cause 4 Complete Edition
• Karma City Police
• Kerbal Space Program
• King Of The Castle
• King's Bounty: Warriors of the North
• Kingdom: Classic
• Kingdom: New Lands x 2
• Kings of Kung Fu
• Kitaria Fables
• Knights and Merchants
• Koa and the Five Pirates of Mara
• Kraken Academy!!
• Kyle is Famous: Complete Edition
• LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
• LEGO Marvel Super Heroes
• LEGO® MARVEL's Avengers
• Last Inua
• Lawn Mowing Simulator x 2
• Layers of Fear + Soundtrack
• Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
• Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Dry Twice
• Levelhead
• Liberated
• Liberated GOG x 2
• Liberte
• Lichdom: Battlemage
• Life is Strange 2 Complete Season (incl. Mascot Bundle DLC)
• Life is Strange: True Colors x 2
• Little Orpheus
• Loddlenaut
• Lords and Villeins x 3
• Lostwinds
• Lovecraft's Untold Stories x 3
• Lust for Darkness
• MO:Astray
• Mad Max
• Magrunner: Dark Pulse
• Main Assembly
• Majesty 2 Collection x 2
• Making History: The Calm and the Storm Gold Edition
• Marvel's Midnight Suns Digital+ Edition + Doctor Strange Defenders Skin
• Mass Effect 2 Origin key
• Medieval Kingdom Wars
• Mediterranea Inferno
• Meeple Station x 2
• Mega Man Legacy Collection
• Memoria + Soundtrack
• Men of War
• Merchant of the Skies x 2
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition x 2
• Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition x 2
• Midnight Fight Express
• Midnight Ghost Hunt
• Midnight protocol x 2
• Milky Way Prince - The Vampire Star x 2
• Monaco
• Monorail Stories
• Monster Crown x 3
• Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp x 2
• Monster Slayers
• Monster Slayers - Advanced Classes Unlocker
• Monster Slayers - Fire & Steel Expansion
• Morbid: The Seven Acolytes x 2
• Morkredd x 3
• Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Edition x 2
• Mortal Kombat XL x 2
• Moving Out
• Mr. Prepper x 2
• Munin
• Murder by Numbers
• My Big Sister x 2
• My Time At Portia
• Mystery Castle: The Mirror's Secret
• Mytheon
• Mythforce
• Narita Boy
• Nebuchadnezzar
• NecroVisioN: Lost Company
• NecroWorm x 2
• Neoverse x 3
• Neverout x 2
• Neversong
• Nickelodeon all-star brawl x 2
• Niffelheim x 2
• Nigate Tale
• Nioh 2
• Nobody Saves the World
• Noosphere
• Northend Tower Defense
• Nowhere Prophet
• Nuclear DAWN
• OTXO
• Oaken x 2
• Oddworld: Soulstorm Enhanced Edition x 2
• Of Orcs and Men
• Oh My Gore! x 3
• Omensight Definitve Edition x 2
• Operation Tango x 2
• Orbital Racer x 2
• Othercide
• Out Of Space
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale x 2
• Overcooked
• Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
• Ozymandias - NA region x 2
• PAC-MAN 256
• PAC-MAN MUSEUM+ x 2
• PC Building Simulator x 2
• PGA Tour 2K21 x 2
• PULSAR: Lost Colony x 2
• Partisans 1941 x 2
• Patch Quest x 3
• Path Of Giants
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Royal Ascension
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Wild Cards
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker Enhanced Plus Edition
• Paw paw paw x 4
• Peaky Blinders: Mastermind x 2
• Perfect x 2
• Pesterquest x 4
• Phantom Doctrine x 2
• Pikuniku
• Pine
• Pitiri 1977
• Pixel Puzzles: UndeadZ
• Pixplode x 2
• Planet Alcatraz
• Plants vs. Zombies: Battle for Neighborville (ORIGIN KEY)
• PlataGO!
• Police stories
• Popup Dungeon
• Port Royale 3
• Prison Architect + Aficionado (Dlc)
• Prodeus
• Propnight
• Purrfect Date
• Quern: Undying thoughts
• RAD x 2
• REPLIKATOR
• RICO: London
• RIOT - Civil Unrest
• RPG Maker VX
• Rage in Peace
• Railroad Tycoon 2: Platinum x 3
• Railroad Tycoon 3 x 3
• Railway Empire
• Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan x 2
• Re-Legion
• Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
• Rebel Inc: Escalation x 3
• Red Wings: Aces of the Sky
• Redeemer: Enhanced Edition x 2
• Relicta x 3
• Remnants of Naezith x 2
• Remothered: Broken Porcelain
• Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood x 2
• Rescue Party: Live! x 2
• Resident Evil HD REMASTER
• Resident Evil Revelations 2 - Episode 1: Penal Colony x 2
• Resident Evil Revelations x 2
• Retimed x 3
• Reventure
• Revita
• Rig n Roll
• Ring of pain x 4
• Rise Of Industry x 3
• Rise of the Slime x 2
• Roadwarden
• Roarr! Jurassic Edition x 2
• Roboquest
• Rogue Lords x 2
• Roguebook
• RollerCoaster Tycoon Classic
• Rollerdrome NA region
• Romancing SaGa -Minstrel Song- Remastered
• Rover Mechanic Simulator x 3
• Rustler x 4
• SCP : Secret Files x 3
• SPACECOM
• SPRAWL x 2
• STONE x 2
• SUPERHOT VR
• SYSTEM SHOCK: ENHANCED EDITION
• Sairento VR
• Satellite Reign
• Saturday Morning RPG
• Save Room - Organization Puzzle
• Say No! More
• Scheming Through The Zombie Apocalypse: The Beginning x 2
• Scorn x 2
• ScourgeBringer
• Seed Hunter x 2
• Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun - Aiko's Choice
• Shadowhand: RPG Card Game
• Shady Part of Me x 2
• Shantae and the Pirate's Curse
• Shark Attack Deathmatch 2
• Shing! x 2
• Shining Resonance Refrain x 2
• Ship Simulator Extremes x 2
• Shooting Stars! x 2
• Shooty Fruity
• Shoppe Keep 2
• Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate - NA region x 2
• Sid Meier's Railroads! x 3
• Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle x 2
• Silver Chains
• Simple Rockets 2
• Simplerockets 2 x 2
• Simulacra + Simulacra 2
• Sin Slayers
• Size Matters x 3
• Skullgirls 2nd Encore
• Slain: Back from Hell
• Slinger VR x 2
• Snake Pass
• Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts x 2
• Snowtopia x 2
• Songbird Symphony
• Songbringer
• Sonic Adventure 2: Battle Mode DLC x 2
• Sonic Adventure™ 2 x 2
• Sorry, James
• Soul Axiom Rebooted x 2
• Soulblight x 2
• Souldiers
• Space Cows
• Space Hulk Ascension
• Sparklite
• Speed Brawl x 2
• Spirit Of The Island x 3
• Splasher
• Star Wolves
• Star Wolves 3: Civil War
• Stars End
• Starsand x 2
• Staxel
• Stealth 2: A Game Of Clones
• Steel Rats x 2
• Steelrising
• Still There x 3
• Strange Brigade x 2
• Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection
• Street Fighter V
• Strider x 2
• Struggling x 2
• Stubbs The Zombie In Rebel Without A Pulse
• Sunblaze
• Super Magbot
• Super Meat Boy x 2
• Super Panda Adventures
• Super Trench Attack!
• Supraland x 2
• Supreme Ruler 1936
• Supreme Ruler: Cold War
• SurrounDead x 2
• TEKKEN 7 x 2
• THE HEX
• THEM'S FIGHTIN' HERDS
• Tabletop Playground x 3
• Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition
• Tango Fiesta
• Tannenberg
• Telefrag VR x 2
• Tesla vs Lovecraft
• The Amazing American Circus x 2
• The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
• The Ascent
• The Assembly
• The Bard's Tale IV: Director's Cut x 3
• The Beast Inside x 3
• The Big Con x 2
• The Blackout Club
• The Coma 2: Vicious Sisters x 2
• The Curious Tale of the Stolen Pets
• The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes
• The Darkness II x 2
• The Deed Dynasty
• The Deed II
• The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind x 2
• The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion x 2
• The Elder Scrolls Online
• The Excavation of Hob's Barrow
• The Golf Club 2019 Featuring PGA TOUR x 3
• The Gunk x 2
• The Haunted Island, A Frog Detective Game x 3
• The Henry Stickmin Collection x 2
• The Hong Kong Massacre
• The Invisible Hand x 2
• The Knight Witch
• The LEGO Movie - Videogame
• The LEGO NINJAGO Movie Video Game
• The Legend of Tianding x 2
• The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante
• The Long Reach
• The Mummy Demastered
• The Pale Beyond
• The Quarry - Deluxe Edition x 2
• The Red Lantern
• The Red Solstice x 2
• The Shapeshifting Detective
• The Surge
• The Survivalists
• The Swords Of Ditto: Mormo's Curse x 2
• The Textorcist: The story of Ray Bibbia x 3
• The Town of Light
• The USB Stick Found in the Grass x 2
• The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
• The Walking Dead
• The Walking Dead: 400 Days
• The Walking Dead: A New Frontier x 2
• The Walking Dead: Michonne x 2
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners - Chapter 2: Retribution
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners x 4
• The Walking Dead: Season Two
• The Walking Dead: The Final Season x 2
• The Wild Eight
• The Wizards - Dark Times
• Them and Us
• Them's Fightin' Herds
• There Is No Light
• Thief of Thieves: Season One x 2
• This Strange Realm Of Mine
• This War of Mine: Stories - Season Pass DLC
• Throne Of Lies® The Online Game Of Deceit
• Through The Darkest Of Times x 3
• Tilt Brush x 2
• Timelie
• Tin Can x 2
• Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove x 2
• Tohu x 3
• Tools Up!
• Tools up x 2
• Tooth and Tail
• Torchlight
• Torchlight III
• Total Tank Simulator x 2
• Townscaper
• Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt x 2
• Toy tinker Simulator
• Toybox Turbos x 2
• Train Station Renovation x 2
• Treasure Hunter Simulator x 3
• Trek to Yomi
• Tropico 4
• Truberbrook / Trüberbrook
• Truck Racer
• Tumblestone
• Turbo Golf Racing x 4
• Two Point Campus
• Tyrant's Blessing
• UNDETECTED
• UnMetal
• Undungeon
• Unexplored
• Unto The End
• V-Rally 4
• Vagante
• Vagrant Hearts 2
• Valfaris: Mecha Therion
• Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows Of New York x 3
• Vane x 3
• Verdun
• Victoria 3
• Vikings - Wolves of Midgard
• WARSAW x 5
• WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS + Ultimate Brawlers Pass x 4
• WWE 2K23 x 5
• WWE 2k Battlegrounds
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories - GOG key x 2
• Wandersong x 2
• Wargroove x 2
• Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate - Daemonhunters x 2
• Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
• Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach
• Warhammer: Chaosbane x 2
• Wayward Souls
• We Are Alright x 2
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse Heart Of The Forest
• West of Dead
• Where the Water Tastes Like Wine
• Whispering Willows
• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School x 2
• Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus? x 3
• Wick
• Windjammers 2
• Windscape
• Wordle 1-5 Quintology Pack
• World's Dawn x 2
• Worms Clan Wars
• Worms rumble + legends pack dlc x 3
• WrestleQuest
• X-COM: Complete Pack x 3
• X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC x 2
• X-Morph Defense x 3
• Xcom® 2: Resistance Warrior Pack
• Yakuza: Like a Dragon
• Yet Another Zombie Defense HD x 2
• Yoku's Island Express
• Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair
• Youtubers Life 2
• Zanzarah: The Hidden Portal
• Zombie Army 4: Dead War
• Zombotron

WANT

• Trepang2
• The Pedestrian
• OPUS: Echo of Starsong - Full Bloom Edition

Mainly looking for PayPal (accepting most of the currencies, fees may slightly differ)
MY REP Wishlist
Gems
TF2 keys/ CS2 Cases

Note:

• All keys are primarily from US/NA region
• My list maybe slightly outdated so I apologize in advance if some of the games mentioned are already traded/Sold.
• I accept XBOX keys as well.
• I accept paypal only via goods and services so all transactions will include fees.
• My Wishlist, I am just interested in these games and mentioned in wants below.

HAVE

• .hack//G.U. Last Recode
• 10 Second Ninja X
• 112 operator
• 198X x 2
• 8 doors
• 9 Years of Shadows
• 911 Operator x 2
• A Fisherman's Tale
• A Juggler's Tale
• A Little Golf Journey
• A Sceptic's Guide to Magic
• A Tale of Paper: Refolded Edition
• A.I.M. Clan Wars
• Aces and Adventures x 1
• Aegis Defenders x 3
• Ageless x 3
• Alekhine's Gun
• Alien Spidy
• Alwa's Awakening
• Amanda the Adventurer
• American Fugitive x 3
• Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
• Amnesia: Rebirth x 2
• Anna's Quest x 2
• Anuchard
• Arcade Paradise
• Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP x 2
• Arcade Spirits
• Arto
• As Far As The Eye
• Astalon: Tears of the Earth
• AtmaSphere
• Attack of the Earthlings
• Automachef x 3
• Automobilista
• Autonauts vs Piratebots x 3
• Axiom Verge
• Axiom Verge 2
• Back 4 Blood - STRICT NA REGION LOCK x 2
• Ballpoint Universe - Infinite
• Bartlow's Dread Machine
• Batman: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition
• Batman: Arkham City GOTY
• Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
• Batman: Arkham Origins
• Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
• Bayonetta
• Beacon Pines x 2
• Before We leave
• Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery
• Beholder 2
• Bendy and the Dark Revival x 2
• Between the stars x 4
• Beyond the wire x 2
• Big Crown Showdown
• Bionic Commando x 2
• Blade Assault
• Blasphemous
• Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night x 3
• Book of Demons x 3
• Boomerang Fu
• Borderlands 2 Game of the Year x 2
• Boreal Blade x 3
• Boundless
• Bravery and Greed
• Broken Age
• Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
• Builder Simulator x 1
• Bunker Punks
• Butcher
• CAPITALISM 2
• CHESS ULTRA
• CODE VEIN
• CROSSBOW: Bloodnight x 2
• Call of Juarez Gunslinger
• Canyon Capers
• Capitalism 2
• Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
• Car Mechanic Simulator VR
• Cardaclysm
• Carnival Games VR
• Caveman World: Mountains of Unga Boonga
• Celeste
• Charlie's Adventure
• Chicken Assassin Reloaded
• Children of Silentown x 2
• Chivalry 2 x 2
• Chivalry: Medieval Warfare x 2
• Citizen Sleeper
• CivCity: Rome x 3
• Civilization III x 2
• Clutch
• Cobra Kai: The Karate Kid Saga Continues
• Conan Exiles
• Convoy
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
• Cook-Out
• Cookie Cutter
• Cosmic Star Heroine
• Crash Drive 3
• Crazy Machines 3
• Crown Trick
• Cultures - 8th Wonder of the world
• Cursed Castilla (Maldita Castilla Ex)
• Cyber Hook x 2
• DISTRAINT 2 x 2
• DOOM Eternal DELUXE EDITION
• DUCATI - 90th Anniversary
• Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC x 2
• Danger Scavenger
• Dangerous Worlds x 2
• Dark Future: Blood Red States
• Darksburg x 2
• Darkwood
• Dead Age
• Dead In Vinland x 2
• Death's Gambit: Afterlife
• Deleveled x 2
• Demon Pit
• Deponia: The Complete Journey x 2
• Derange
• Desert Child
• Desolate x 2
• Destroy All Humans! 2 - Reprobed x 2
• Deus Ex: Mankind Divided - Digital Deluxe Edition
• DiRT Rally
• DiRT Rally 2.0 - H2 RWD Double Pack
• DiRT Rally 2.0 - Opel Manta 400
• Dirt Rally 2.0 - Porsche 911 RGT Rally Spec
• Dirt Rally x 2
• Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
• Disjunction - gog
• Do Not Feed the Monkeys
• Dracula: Love Kills
• Drake Hollow x 2
• Draw Slasher x 2
• Drawful 2 x 2
• Dreams in the Witch House x 2
• Dreamscaper x 2
• Driftland: The Magic Revival x 5
• Ducati - 90th Anniversary
• Due Process x 3
• Duke Nukem Forever collection x 4
• Dust to the End
• Dying Light Definitive Edition
• ELEX II x 4
• ETHERBORN
• Eador. Imperium
• Earth 2140
• Earth Defence Force 4.1 + all dlc
• Earth Defence Force: Iron Rain
• EarthX
• Edge Of Eternity x 3
• El Matador
• Elderand
• Eldest Souls
• Ember
• Enclave (Gold) x 2
• Encodya - GOG x 2
• Endless Space 2 x 2
• Endzone - A World apart
• Enslaved™: Odyssey To The West™ Premium Edition
• Eternal Threads x 4
• Eternity: The Last Unicorn
• Evergarden x 2
• Evoland Legendary Edition x 2
• Exiled Kingdoms x 2
• Expeditions: Rome x 2
• Expeditions: Viking
• F1 2017 1988 McLAREN MP4/4 Classic Car DLC
• FAR: Lone Sails x 2
• Family Man x 3
• Fantasy Blacksmith
• Fantasy Versus
• Farmer's dynasty x 2
• Fated Souls 3
• Fear Effect Sedna
• Fictorum
• Field of Glory II x 2
• Field of Glory: Empires
• Figement
• Final Fantasy III (3D Remake)
• Five Dates x 2
• Fling to the Finish
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel x 2
• For The King
• Foretales x 1
• Four Sided Fantasy
• Friends vs Friends x 4
• Frog Detective 2: The Case Of The Invisible Wizard x 3
• Frogun
• From Space x 3
• Fun With Ragdolls: The Game x 2
• Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
• Fury Unleashed x 5
• GOD EATER 3 x 2
• GRID Autosport - Premium Garage Pack DLC
• GRID Autosport - Road & Track Car Pack DLC
• GRIP: Combat Racing Artifex DLC x 3
• GameGuru x 2
• GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months x 2
• Garage: bad trip
• Garfield Kart
• Garfield Kart - Furious Racing
• Gauntlet
• GemCraft - Chasing Shadows
• Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition x 3
• Ghost Of A Tale
• Ghost Song
• Gift of Parthax
• Glitch Busters x 2
• Gloria Victis x 2
• Gnog
• Go Home Dinosaurs x 2
• Gold Rush! Classic
• Golden Light x 3
• Golf Club Wasteland
• Gotham Knights
• Gothic 3
• Grand Mountain Adventure
• Green Hell (Region locked)
• Guts and Glory
• Guts and glory
• Hardspace: Shipbreaker x 3
• Have a nice Death
• Headsnatchers x 2
• Heal
• Heavy Burger
• Heli Heroes
• Helion
• Hell Pie
• Hell let loose
• Hellpoint x 2
• Hero's Hour (NA Region) x 3
• Hexologic
• Hi-Fi RUSH
• Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire x 3
• Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack x 2
• Hiveswap Friendsim x 2
• Hiveswap: Act 1
• Homefront
• Homestead Arcana x 2
• Honey, I Joined a Cult x 2
• Horizon Chase Turbo x 2
• Hot Brass x 2
• Hot Wheels Unleashed
• Hotshot Racing x 3
• Hue x 2
• Hyperdrive Massacre
• I Expect You To Die
• Ice Age: Scrat's Nutty Adventure
• Ikenfell x 3
• Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition x 2
• In sound mind x 2
• Indivisible x 5
• Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
• Insurmountable
• Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
• Interstellar Space: Genesis
• Introvert Quest
• Iratus: Lord of the Dead
• Iris And The Giant
• Iron Danger
• Iron Sky Invasion
• Jack Move
• Jack Orlando: Director's Cut
• Journey of Greed
• Journey of a Roach x 2
• JumpJet Rex
• Jurassic Park Classic Games Collection
• Just Cause 4 Complete Edition
• Karma City Police
• Kerbal Space Program
• King Of The Castle
• King's Bounty: Warriors of the North
• Kingdom: Classic
• Kingdom: New Lands x 2
• Kings of Kung Fu
• Kitaria Fables
• Knights and Merchants
• Koa and the Five Pirates of Mara
• Kraken Academy!!
• Kyle is Famous: Complete Edition
• LEGO Batman 3: Beyond Gotham
• LEGO Marvel Super Heroes
• LEGO® MARVEL's Avengers
• Last Inua
• Lawn Mowing Simulator x 2
• Layers of Fear + Soundtrack
• Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
• Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Dry Twice
• Levelhead
• Liberated
• Liberated GOG x 2
• Liberte
• Lichdom: Battlemage
• Life is Strange 2 Complete Season (incl. Mascot Bundle DLC)
• Life is Strange: True Colors x 2
• Little Orpheus
• Loddlenaut
• Lords and Villeins x 3
• Lostwinds
• Lovecraft's Untold Stories x 3
• Lust for Darkness
• MO:Astray
• Mad Max
• Magrunner: Dark Pulse
• Main Assembly
• Majesty 2 Collection x 2
• Making History: The Calm and the Storm Gold Edition
• Marvel's Midnight Suns Digital+ Edition + Doctor Strange Defenders Skin
• Mass Effect 2 Origin key
• Medieval Kingdom Wars
• Mediterranea Inferno
• Meeple Station x 2
• Mega Man Legacy Collection
• Memoria + Soundtrack
• Men of War
• Merchant of the Skies x 2
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition x 2
• Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition x 2
• Midnight Fight Express
• Midnight Ghost Hunt
• Midnight protocol x 2
• Milky Way Prince - The Vampire Star x 2
• Monaco
• Monorail Stories
• Monster Crown x 3
• Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp x 2
• Monster Slayers
• Monster Slayers - Advanced Classes Unlocker
• Monster Slayers - Fire & Steel Expansion
• Morbid: The Seven Acolytes x 2
• Morkredd x 3
• Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate Edition x 2
• Mortal Kombat XL x 2
• Moving Out
• Mr. Prepper x 2
• Munin
• Murder by Numbers
• My Big Sister x 2
• My Time At Portia
• Mystery Castle: The Mirror's Secret
• Mytheon
• Mythforce
• Narita Boy
• Nebuchadnezzar
• NecroVisioN: Lost Company
• NecroWorm x 2
• Neoverse x 3
• Neverout x 2
• Neversong
• Nickelodeon all-star brawl x 2
• Niffelheim x 2
• Nigate Tale
• Nioh 2
• Nobody Saves the World
• Noosphere
• Northend Tower Defense
• Nowhere Prophet
• Nuclear DAWN
• OTXO
• Oaken x 2
• Oddworld: Soulstorm Enhanced Edition x 2
• Of Orcs and Men
• Oh My Gore! x 3
• Omensight Definitve Edition x 2
• Operation Tango x 2
• Orbital Racer x 2
• Othercide
• Out Of Space
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale x 2
• Overcooked
• Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
• Ozymandias - NA region x 2
• PAC-MAN 256
• PAC-MAN MUSEUM+ x 2
• PC Building Simulator x 2
• PGA Tour 2K21 x 2
• PULSAR: Lost Colony x 2
• Partisans 1941 x 2
• Patch Quest x 3
• Path Of Giants
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Royal Ascension
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Wild Cards
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker Enhanced Plus Edition
• Paw paw paw x 4
• Peaky Blinders: Mastermind x 2
• Perfect x 2
• Pesterquest x 4
• Phantom Doctrine x 2
• Pikuniku
• Pine
• Pitiri 1977
• Pixel Puzzles: UndeadZ
• Pixplode x 2
• Planet Alcatraz
• Plants vs. Zombies: Battle for Neighborville (ORIGIN KEY)
• PlataGO!
• Police stories
• Popup Dungeon
• Port Royale 3
• Prison Architect + Aficionado (Dlc)
• Prodeus
• Propnight
• Purrfect Date
• Quern: Undying thoughts
• RAD x 2
• REPLIKATOR
• RICO: London
• RIOT - Civil Unrest
• RPG Maker VX
• Rage in Peace
• Railroad Tycoon 2: Platinum x 3
• Railroad Tycoon 3 x 3
• Railway Empire
• Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan x 2
• Re-Legion
• Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
• Rebel Inc: Escalation x 3
• Red Wings: Aces of the Sky
• Redeemer: Enhanced Edition x 2
• Relicta x 3
• Remnants of Naezith x 2
• Remothered: Broken Porcelain
• Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood x 2
• Rescue Party: Live! x 2
• Resident Evil HD REMASTER
• Resident Evil Revelations 2 - Episode 1: Penal Colony x 2
• Resident Evil Revelations x 2
• Retimed x 3
• Reventure
• Revita
• Rig n Roll
• Ring of pain x 4
• Rise Of Industry x 3
• Rise of the Slime x 2
• Roadwarden
• Roarr! Jurassic Edition x 2
• Roboquest
• Rogue Lords x 2
• Roguebook
• RollerCoaster Tycoon Classic
• Rollerdrome NA region
• Romancing SaGa -Minstrel Song- Remastered
• Rover Mechanic Simulator x 3
• Rustler x 4
• SCP : Secret Files x 3
• SPACECOM
• SPRAWL x 2
• STONE x 2
• SUPERHOT VR
• SYSTEM SHOCK: ENHANCED EDITION
• Sairento VR
• Satellite Reign
• Saturday Morning RPG
• Save Room - Organization Puzzle
• Say No! More
• Scheming Through The Zombie Apocalypse: The Beginning x 2
• Scorn x 2
• ScourgeBringer
• Seed Hunter x 2
• Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun - Aiko's Choice
• Shadowhand: RPG Card Game
• Shady Part of Me x 2
• Shantae and the Pirate's Curse
• Shark Attack Deathmatch 2
• Shing! x 2
• Shining Resonance Refrain x 2
• Ship Simulator Extremes x 2
• Shooting Stars! x 2
• Shooty Fruity
• Shoppe Keep 2
• Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate - NA region x 2
• Sid Meier's Railroads! x 3
• Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle x 2
• Silver Chains
• Simple Rockets 2
• Simplerockets 2 x 2
• Simulacra + Simulacra 2
• Sin Slayers
• Size Matters x 3
• Skullgirls 2nd Encore
• Slain: Back from Hell
• Slinger VR x 2
• Snake Pass
• Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts x 2
• Snowtopia x 2
• Songbird Symphony
• Songbringer
• Sonic Adventure 2: Battle Mode DLC x 2
• Sonic Adventure™ 2 x 2
• Sorry, James
• Soul Axiom Rebooted x 2
• Soulblight x 2
• Souldiers
• Space Cows
• Space Hulk Ascension
• Sparklite
• Speed Brawl x 2
• Spirit Of The Island x 3
• Splasher
• Star Wolves
• Star Wolves 3: Civil War
• Stars End
• Starsand x 2
• Staxel
• Stealth 2: A Game Of Clones
• Steel Rats x 2
• Steelrising
• Still There x 3
• Strange Brigade x 2
• Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection
• Street Fighter V
• Strider x 2
• Struggling x 2
• Stubbs The Zombie In Rebel Without A Pulse
• Sunblaze
• Super Magbot
• Super Meat Boy x 2
• Super Panda Adventures
• Super Trench Attack!
• Supraland x 2
• Supreme Ruler 1936
• Supreme Ruler: Cold War
• SurrounDead x 2
• TEKKEN 7 x 2
• THE HEX
• THEM'S FIGHTIN' HERDS
• Tabletop Playground x 3
• Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition
• Tango Fiesta
• Tannenberg
• Telefrag VR x 2
• Tesla vs Lovecraft
• The Amazing American Circus x 2
• The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
• The Ascent
• The Assembly
• The Bard's Tale IV: Director's Cut x 3
• The Beast Inside x 3
• The Big Con x 2
• The Blackout Club
• The Coma 2: Vicious Sisters x 2
• The Curious Tale of the Stolen Pets
• The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes
• The Darkness II x 2
• The Deed Dynasty
• The Deed II
• The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind x 2
• The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion x 2
• The Elder Scrolls Online
• The Excavation of Hob's Barrow
• The Golf Club 2019 Featuring PGA TOUR x 3
• The Gunk x 2
• The Haunted Island, A Frog Detective Game x 3
• The Henry Stickmin Collection x 2
• The Hong Kong Massacre
• The Invisible Hand x 2
• The Knight Witch
• The LEGO Movie - Videogame
• The LEGO NINJAGO Movie Video Game
• The Legend of Tianding x 2
• The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante
• The Long Reach
• The Mummy Demastered
• The Pale Beyond
• The Quarry - Deluxe Edition x 2
• The Red Lantern
• The Red Solstice x 2
• The Shapeshifting Detective
• The Surge
• The Survivalists
• The Swords Of Ditto: Mormo's Curse x 2
• The Textorcist: The story of Ray Bibbia x 3
• The Town of Light
• The USB Stick Found in the Grass x 2
• The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
• The Walking Dead
• The Walking Dead: 400 Days
• The Walking Dead: A New Frontier x 2
• The Walking Dead: Michonne x 2
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners - Chapter 2: Retribution
• The Walking Dead: Saints & Sinners x 4
• The Walking Dead: Season Two
• The Walking Dead: The Final Season x 2
• The Wild Eight
• The Wizards - Dark Times
• Them and Us
• Them's Fightin' Herds
• There Is No Light
• Thief of Thieves: Season One x 2
• This Strange Realm Of Mine
• This War of Mine: Stories - Season Pass DLC
• Throne Of Lies® The Online Game Of Deceit
• Through The Darkest Of Times x 3
• Tilt Brush x 2
• Timelie
• Tin Can x 2
• Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove x 2
• Tohu x 3
• Tools Up!
• Tools up x 2
• Tooth and Tail
• Torchlight
• Torchlight III
• Total Tank Simulator x 2
• Townscaper
• Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt x 2
• Toy tinker Simulator
• Toybox Turbos x 2
• Train Station Renovation x 2
• Treasure Hunter Simulator x 3
• Trek to Yomi
• Tropico 4
• Truberbrook / Trüberbrook
• Truck Racer
• Tumblestone
• Turbo Golf Racing x 4
• Two Point Campus
• Tyrant's Blessing
• UNDETECTED
• UnMetal
• Undungeon
• Unexplored
• Unto The End
• V-Rally 4
• Vagante
• Vagrant Hearts 2
• Valfaris: Mecha Therion
• Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows Of New York x 3
• Vane x 3
• Verdun
• Victoria 3
• Vikings - Wolves of Midgard
• WARSAW x 5
• WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS + Ultimate Brawlers Pass x 4
• WWE 2K23 x 5
• WWE 2k Battlegrounds
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories - GOG key x 2
• Wandersong x 2
• Wargroove x 2
• Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate - Daemonhunters x 2
• Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
• Warhammer 40,000: Sanctus Reach
• Warhammer: Chaosbane x 2
• Wayward Souls
• We Are Alright x 2
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse Heart Of The Forest
• West of Dead
• Where the Water Tastes Like Wine
• Whispering Willows
• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School x 2
• Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus? x 3
• Wick
• Windjammers 2
• Windscape
• Wordle 1-5 Quintology Pack
• World's Dawn x 2
• Worms Clan Wars
• Worms rumble + legends pack dlc x 3
• WrestleQuest
• X-COM: Complete Pack x 3
• X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC x 2
• X-Morph Defense x 3
• Xcom® 2: Resistance Warrior Pack
• Yakuza: Like a Dragon
• Yet Another Zombie Defense HD x 2
• Yoku's Island Express
• Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair
• Youtubers Life 2
• Zanzarah: The Hidden Portal
• Zombie Army 4: Dead War
• Zombotron

WANT

• Trepang2
• The Pedestrian
• OPUS: Echo of Starsong - Full Bloom Edition

Mainly looking for PayPal (accepting most of the currencies, fees may slightly differ)
MY REP Wishlist MY IGS REP
Gems
TF2 keys/ CS2 Cases