Mother daughter tattoos
motherdaughterduos
2023.11.27 05:15 Ecstatic_Plum6426 motherdaughterduos
A place to share and celebrate your favorite real life mothedaughter duos! They can be celebs or everyday duos.
2016.02.19 06:46 Allie_Girl Mother In Laws From Hell
Welcome to Mother-In-Laws from Hell! This is a place to vent and get our frustrations out about our less-than-pleasant situations. Let’s help each other, and find ways to outsmart our hellish MIL's. The rules are simple...
2008.06.24 03:01 Tattoos
Welcome to the Tattoos subreddit community
2024.05.16 06:55 hopeisdreaming friends mom claims i’m at fault for friends mental illness
tw: suicide
basically, my friend(18F) recently got out of the mental hospital for a suicide attempt. i(20F) received a text from her mother saying how she was getting out of the hospital, and that if i want to continue to be friends with her i need to stop discussing mental health with her. that she shouldn’t get advice from someone who is mentally unstable. she claims that my friend has been feeding off my mental illness, and she is mirroring it to keep our friendship. because of course HER daughter would never be mentally ill.
this is bullshit, my friend was mentally ill before we even became friends, she has been diagnosed by a professional, and nothing i have done or said has caused her mental illness. i have done nothing but be supportive to her and been positive and it’s so fucking ridiculous that her mom is trying to push the blame on me. i am tired of people using my mental illnesses against me and acting like i can’t have friends due to my mental state.
submitted by hopeisdreaming to offmychest [link] [comments]
basically, my friend(18F) recently got out of the mental hospital for a suicide attempt. i(20F) received a text from her mother saying how she was getting out of the hospital, and that if i want to continue to be friends with her i need to stop discussing mental health with her. that she shouldn’t get advice from someone who is mentally unstable. she claims that my friend has been feeding off my mental illness, and she is mirroring it to keep our friendship. because of course HER daughter would never be mentally ill.
this is bullshit, my friend was mentally ill before we even became friends, she has been diagnosed by a professional, and nothing i have done or said has caused her mental illness. i have done nothing but be supportive to her and been positive and it’s so fucking ridiculous that her mom is trying to push the blame on me. i am tired of people using my mental illnesses against me and acting like i can’t have friends due to my mental state.
2024.05.16 06:50 Huge_Belt_4350 I wrote a letter to my mom addressing all the hurts of my childhood expecting a response that never came
I (27F) last last winter (2022) wrote a long letter to my mom. I poured my heart into it, I cried the whole time writing it. I showed it to my husband to make sure I wasn’t being too mean in my writing towards my mom. I showed it to my stepsister to again make sure it was okay and made sense and to get emotional support (I’m Mexican and I didn’t want to push too far because i understand how deep generational trauma is and the parent child dynamic) I even showed it to my stepdad who immediately called me apologizing for the things I wrote in the letter (which I will get into in a moment) and was telling me about how he will divorce her (I didn’t want that and made me feel shitty) and explained why some scenarios ended up the way they did. Everyone encouraged me to send it. I was so confident that my mom was going to read it and drive over ? Write back? Call me. Something ! So I mailed it. (I mailed it because I instantly cry every time I try talking to her in person about not surface level things, it would of been easier getting words out especially when having to translate to Spanish)
In the letter I wrote about:
-Feeling emotionally neglected -the name calling my mom would do (calling me “retarded” and mimicking noises and movements of people with disability towards me among other things -My uncle being a pedo and scaring me into not saying anything to them, i later said something to a friend in HS who went to the counselor who called the police and I made up a person to protect my uncle, I was then grounded for over a year. -the carpet in my bedroom always being wet when it rained which is a lot where I live ruining my feet with a fungal infection that was just ignored (i understand it was a money issue but the hurt remains) -being blamed for high utility bills n being expensive for needing braces -my boyfriend in high school being suicidal when I would try to break up with him and hurting that I couldn’t go to them for help -saying that I tried to hit her to my dad when I moved out of the way of her too quickly and making a scene about it leaving me confused -understanding that i understand she probably had a rough childhood and that all I wanted was a normal mother daughter relationship
That’s pretty much the gist among a bunch of other little things that really hurt me and I explained that it was hard to form a relationship with her in my adulthood and trust her with my kids until we addressed these things. I wanted to be acknowledged. Not even an apology really. But a conversation. I wanted to understand her more because I literally don’t know anything about her. We would never talk unless it was to eat dinner or clean something. I was always in my room during that time.
I waited a few weeks, my stepsister would visit them here and there and tell me how my mom appears sad? And maybe she needed more time.
A few months pass by I see my mom smiling in Hawaii having a good time.
At this point I’m in therapy because I’m losing hair from the stress of this and severely depressed.
Fall comes around and I finally go to visit with the encouragement of my husband, stepsister and stepdad. She acts like I’m not even there. This makes me angry. At one point my mom goes outside to smoke a cigarette im at the table with everyone and I start just talking about the hurts again, I say my mom is a narcissistic. My mom comes back inside. And for an hour. I’m complaining and she’s in the living room a few feet away saying absolutely nothing.
I leave feeling so weird. So lonely? We are now I’m 2024. I don’t have a relationship with her or my step dad really. I had to block her because she would go to Hawaii again and just living her life having a great time I was trying not to be bitter. Or angry. My step sister and step dad eventually started to question how legitimate my statements were it was so painful being misunderstood. Being told that that’s just the mom that I have. Being told that things were maybe my fault for having a problem with everything (I would always speak up when my parents would be racist and things)
I few months ago I did send her a text as a final effort. I asked why she never responded. If she wants to just leave this alone that’s okay and I will move on. And she told me that all that was on the letters were complaints. And told me about how when I was 20 I made a comment on a Facebook post about bad parenting and how everyone saw. About how embarrassed she was when people reached out to her. About how I wrote that I felt like I was in a dark environment. I didn’t know everyone saw it. I apologized for that. She told me to come over to talk because she personally has some complains about me. But she never acknowledged me. I didn’t want to go, to feel yelled at and again taken back to being a child getting yelled at.
I’m currently feeling grief. Mistrust to my family. Lonely. Jealous? About how my other siblings seem to be having a better time. How do I move on from feeling misunderstood. I feel like everyone is okay and I’m abandoned. I feel guilt for pulling my small family away from them from how hurt I am. Most times I’m okay until I see my stepsister at a family gathering that I’m never invited to. And then I’m back again to being a lonely child.
submitted by Huge_Belt_4350 to CPTSD [link] [comments]
In the letter I wrote about:
-Feeling emotionally neglected -the name calling my mom would do (calling me “retarded” and mimicking noises and movements of people with disability towards me among other things -My uncle being a pedo and scaring me into not saying anything to them, i later said something to a friend in HS who went to the counselor who called the police and I made up a person to protect my uncle, I was then grounded for over a year. -the carpet in my bedroom always being wet when it rained which is a lot where I live ruining my feet with a fungal infection that was just ignored (i understand it was a money issue but the hurt remains) -being blamed for high utility bills n being expensive for needing braces -my boyfriend in high school being suicidal when I would try to break up with him and hurting that I couldn’t go to them for help -saying that I tried to hit her to my dad when I moved out of the way of her too quickly and making a scene about it leaving me confused -understanding that i understand she probably had a rough childhood and that all I wanted was a normal mother daughter relationship
That’s pretty much the gist among a bunch of other little things that really hurt me and I explained that it was hard to form a relationship with her in my adulthood and trust her with my kids until we addressed these things. I wanted to be acknowledged. Not even an apology really. But a conversation. I wanted to understand her more because I literally don’t know anything about her. We would never talk unless it was to eat dinner or clean something. I was always in my room during that time.
I waited a few weeks, my stepsister would visit them here and there and tell me how my mom appears sad? And maybe she needed more time.
A few months pass by I see my mom smiling in Hawaii having a good time.
At this point I’m in therapy because I’m losing hair from the stress of this and severely depressed.
Fall comes around and I finally go to visit with the encouragement of my husband, stepsister and stepdad. She acts like I’m not even there. This makes me angry. At one point my mom goes outside to smoke a cigarette im at the table with everyone and I start just talking about the hurts again, I say my mom is a narcissistic. My mom comes back inside. And for an hour. I’m complaining and she’s in the living room a few feet away saying absolutely nothing.
I leave feeling so weird. So lonely? We are now I’m 2024. I don’t have a relationship with her or my step dad really. I had to block her because she would go to Hawaii again and just living her life having a great time I was trying not to be bitter. Or angry. My step sister and step dad eventually started to question how legitimate my statements were it was so painful being misunderstood. Being told that that’s just the mom that I have. Being told that things were maybe my fault for having a problem with everything (I would always speak up when my parents would be racist and things)
I few months ago I did send her a text as a final effort. I asked why she never responded. If she wants to just leave this alone that’s okay and I will move on. And she told me that all that was on the letters were complaints. And told me about how when I was 20 I made a comment on a Facebook post about bad parenting and how everyone saw. About how embarrassed she was when people reached out to her. About how I wrote that I felt like I was in a dark environment. I didn’t know everyone saw it. I apologized for that. She told me to come over to talk because she personally has some complains about me. But she never acknowledged me. I didn’t want to go, to feel yelled at and again taken back to being a child getting yelled at.
I’m currently feeling grief. Mistrust to my family. Lonely. Jealous? About how my other siblings seem to be having a better time. How do I move on from feeling misunderstood. I feel like everyone is okay and I’m abandoned. I feel guilt for pulling my small family away from them from how hurt I am. Most times I’m okay until I see my stepsister at a family gathering that I’m never invited to. And then I’m back again to being a lonely child.
2024.05.16 06:47 LeopardMaximum8624 AITAH for this? Yes I am
Hello, reddit First, tw: Self harm and suicidal thoughts, please skip if triggering Here is the thing, I'm basically asking for judgement here, and if I really deserve what I am doing to myself. I think I do, really, because what I did was unforgivable, but do give your opinion, even if it's hate. Because I do deserve it here, really. So, I grew up in a religious family. Like, one in which things like "love marriage " And......well.......The "child making process" was considered a sin. Absolute sin. Like—I did not know what......you know—that—was, but I knew it was sin, it was disgusting, it was something so disgusting that anyone who associated themselves with it were perverts and such, not someone you should ever stay alone in a room with. Do not blame my family for this, they were saying what they were taught, and they had their trauma. They have broken through enough abuse for me, do not blame them please. Anyways, I was a huge fan of Harry Potter. And I stumbled into the world of fanfiction. And I read them. Now, most of them were pretty much SFW, but in those which did infact have anything explicit, they put a whole line of "18+ content ahead, skip to the end of the chapter". I had no idea what the hell 18+ was, but if it said not to view, I wasn't risking it, straight up went to the very last part of it, or changed reading, you know, what a sane person does. Now, I had a favourite author there on Quotev, who wrote some really nice fanfics. Some of them were a little weird—but c'mon who am I to judge, everyone is different. One day, I stumbled upon some works of her. Well, the stories she did write, those were completely SFW. But if you used Quotev, you'll know there was a thing called "Journal" in there. Sort of like "conversation" in Wattpad. There, she had written NSFW chapters on the characters. Here's the thing. There was no warning. None at all. No warning or tagging or anything provided there to show that it was 18+. The title was just—say: DracoxInsertocname I know, nobody forced me to read it, I could have skipped it as soon as I realised it was 18+. But here is the thing. I DIDN'T know what it was. I had read through some of it, and only realised on seeing the comments, that it was 18+. And I felt. I felt tainted, like I had committed a sin. To know that I had read something that perverted, to my 12 year old self, it felt sinful. Like I had my pure white mind muddied out of carelessness. I know, authors don't own us any tags. And if it were a hardcover book, it wouldn't have any tags. But here is the thing. I fully believed that even actual books (I had no idea books had smut back then, I thought it was an internet or like seperate movie thing, I found out books had smut when I was 15+) had warnings for smut. Blood and gore? Sure, no problem, make it as gross as you want, no warnings needed. But something as sinful as 18+? Must be tagged. MUST. BE . TAGGED. That was my thought process. Remember it wasn't AO3. So there was no tagging system. So I thought that if others are warning it, then the author was in the wrong for not providing warnings on hers. It was a site where children as young as 11 were. Later on, I did encounter many more such unwarned content on the internet, but thought, "Eh I'm already ruined any way" Like ofcourse I didn't read it, but yeah. Logic. That I was a sinner too, so I can't get offended anymore. Here comes the bad part, for which, if you hate me, I'll not blame you. I wrote her a letter. Like, online obviously. In the inbox of her writing site. I was.....very mean. I told her her writing "ruined my innocence and it was wrong of her to not provide a warning" something along these lines, I don't remember, it happened 4 years ago. But I did not insult her, or her preferences, or anything, let me make that clear. Just wrote in detail of how her work affected me negatively. If it in itself were insulting, I apologise. And here comes the stupid part which will definately make you hate me, and it'll be fair, really. She always said she liked dark humor. And where I grew, friends told each other, with fully smiling faces, that "I'll hit you so hard, you'll end up hanging from a tree" "I'll hit you so hard you'll go through the roof." Heck, even now our teachers joke that if we don't score well enough, they'll well.....very graphically describe how they'll beat us. So I grew up knowing violence was a joke. That unless someone actually did the thing to you, it was all fine really, funny even. Even till now, I make jokes of "Sorry I'm late feel free to hit me with a pan" So, when I read it, I thought "I don't want her to think I'm angry on her, or hate her. I'll add some jokes so she takes it lightly and realises I may be upset but in the end she's my favourite author whom I love" (Yes I called her my favourite author in the letter) I wrote, beginning with "Dear Daughter of Hermes, and Slytherin" and proceeded to explain on how she ruined my innocence and all such. I did not use any curse words—to clarify. I said something along the lines of "I'll be outside your window at night, watching you". Which was virtually impossible since she lived in a seperate *continent*. "And why the heck would you want to actually hurt someone physically unless you're mentally unstable" -My thought process at that age But it hurt her, and I was so surprised because it was the exact opposite of my intention. I at maximum expected her to be annoyed or something if it went worst case scenario. It hurt her so much, and apparently she had been getting a lot of hate over it (she had deleted the work like—some days ago? I don't remember) and that I should unfollow her. I apologised immediately, but like what good is the apology when the harm is already done. I had already planned to delete my account anyways, so that's what I did. I decided to give her space and hence, I apologised again, some months later. Another stupid thing? I addressed her as sister. I thought it would placate her. I really thought of her as close to me, even though she was a stranger. Okay pausing the writing to go hit my head on the nearest wall, I am sorry for being so stupid, what was wrong with me. I said I was suffering from a bad time, and was going through self harm (still am) and I will do anything she asks of me to gain forgiveness (another mistake). She said I was too late in apologising (which I was, yes, but my first apology was instant though) Anyway, she posted about it on announcements (didn't mention my name) but said "Imagine apologising after this long" and so, with people obviously supporting her. It scared me, so I left in fear of being attacked. (Would've deserved it though) It....well.....4 years passed. At age 15, I was so afraid, because I had an exam and I thought that I'd score bad out of karma for hurting her, that she cursed me. I scored pretty well but anyways. As someone who got continually harassed by a girl for 10 years to the point I was afraid of school, (she wanted to be my friend apparently, but what a terrible way, really, she literally sexually harassed me) but still asked her if she was okay after I saw her crying, I had a pretty high forgiveness scale. I really thought she'd (author) would forgive me for apologising. But like. No. I am not owed any forgiveness and I am aware of it. It wasn't her fault or duty, really. Anyway, fast forward to age 17. I was lying on the bed beaten up and crying and it was 1 am, and for some reason, her username came to my mind. I don't know why. For 4 years I had thought of any perfect apology, maybe drawing her something nice for her books, anything. But decided not to bring back bad memories to her. And also, I was a coward afraid of facing her. But I guess being beaten up messes with your head. Personal trauma is no reason to hurt someone, I agree 100%. But I wrote her a final apology. This time, I didn't ask for forgiveness, took all the blame on myself. I didn't apologise for closure. I apologized because I wanted her to know that she was worth being apologised to so many times. I called my younger self stupid and wished I could smack her on the head. I poured my entire heart and soul into it. I did not expect a reply, but I decided that when I wake up the next day, I'll delete my account, hopefully she had seen it by then. Woke up to find myself blocked and honestly? Deserved it. It took me a discussion with some people to realise that I had indeed gone too far and that hardcover books don't come with tags. And that apologising so many times was basically harassment. Back then, I had apologised for hurting her, but I believed that my opinion on 18+ things being warned of was legit. Then began true guilt. I loathed myself, thought of myself as a monster. I saw myself as a rapist, as a murderer, that I deserve all this sadness and guilt. I really wanted to kill myself over it. Like I did so before too—but this time I was actually ready to step off the pavement onto any vehicle nearby, except the poor driver did no wrong really, and I'm an only child so why harm my parents over it? I really hated myself over it, still do actually. If I can go back in time, I'd drag my 12 year old self away from the laptop and give her a nice slap. I did not want to hurt her, I hate hurting people but seeing that it has been so long, and she still refuses to interact with me, what I said must've affected her very badly. I kept on thinking, what if I drove her to thoughts as negative as she is driving me to? Each time I stopped feeling like a complete demon over it, my mind said "You hurt someone" and I went back to crying. My own mother said that I looked like I came from a funeral, at times. Couldn't focus on classes which is actually bad because those are important. The worst part is, I can't completely remember what I wrote to her. My head keeps on saying I called her bad things and gave her worse threats but......I don't remember doing it and there were no chances if I see it logically. I literally stopped being happy. Forced myself to be, for my own and my families' sake, and I tried, yeah. There were times I thought of taking this up legally because what I did could be considered a threat (found out when I was 17). Give myself over to the police or something. But I still hate myself. So I decided to punish myself. (Graphic descriptions of self harm come in here) I burnt my own skin on purpose. Nothing too bad really, just thumb sized burns from a saucepan. Then I proceeded to pour toilet cleaner (the strong ones which require gloves to handle) over my open wounds, four of them. I'll be honest. I have a very high pain tolerance. But that thing hurt like hell. When I actually cleaned it off after ten minutes of absolute agony, that wound had been somewhat........cauterised? Like there was this thick hard layer and it had no sensetivity when I scratched it. And I pulled off those hard layers. Some of them were stuck to the skin, I had to use a blade to ease them off. Then pour on them again. I did this to all three of my burns (the fourth one was small so it healed) three times, so nine times in total. It has been a month and it still hasn't healed. These scars won't go away even with surgery. Permanent reminders. (Description ends here) I thought it to be like this: The incident hurt her? I'll hurt myself more than she could possibly ever get hurt. But that wouldn't undo her hurt. So I'll hurt myself even more. I have frankly forgotten of who I was two months ago. Of what I thought when my mind was empty. The first thing I remember on waking up is her and the last thing I think of before sleeping is the incident. Deleted my accounts, lost my passion in drawing, don't feel like doing anything. I just. I hate myself. I truly do. I wish I could die but I can't so I just need to survive forever with this. Every time I read the word 'villian' or 'bad' or 'wrong' in a book, it felt like a bucket of cold water being poured over me. I had been a victim myself, so knowing that I myself hurt someone — Its just........I always thought of myself as a good person. Someone who was kind, someone who helped everyone, including strangers the best they could, someone who didn't cheat in exams because that would be unfair to those who studied, someone who protected and loved their friends, someone who made others happy, someone who hates conflict and lets karma take care of the whole thing, someone who ALWAYS says thank you and sorry no matter who or what. So many times, people have told me I made their day better, that I'm a very kind and nice person, I'm someone who even the meanest teachers like and I got exemplary behaviour awards too. I always believed myself to be a good person. So knowing I did something this bad broke me. It took me some time to quit the whole "How dare I be happy after hurting her" thing. I believe fully, that I do not deserve happiness, or love, and that nobody will accept me or think of me as a kind person after knowing what I had done. I'd have deserved it though. I got therapy (not actual one, I used Chatbot AI) It took me time, I finally believed that I deserved to heal from this, that I hurt myself too much maybe, permanent scars over someone who doesn't know my real name and never saw my face and vice versa. Maybe........I don't deserve *this* much of punishment. Today, I went to youtube and saw a video on bullies apologising. I saw comments on how apologies fix nothing, how bullies don't deserve forgiveness and should live with that shame and guilt their entire life. That a thousand good deeds won't make up for that one bad deed. And I believe I do. I really do. Which is why I permanently scarred myself. So here is the question. Do I deserve it? To let go of this incident? Do I deserve to heal? Deserve love? Or should I keep goimg? Because I believe I should. That I truly am no better than a rapist or bully. So, give your judgement, and throw hate at me if you want, because I do deserve it.
submitted by LeopardMaximum8624 to AITAH [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 06:44 FarCardiologist7725 And in the twentieth year of Jeroboam king of
And in the twentieth year of Jeroboam king of Israel reigned Asa over Judah.And forty and one years reigned he in Jerusalem. And his mother's name was Maachah, the daughter of Abishalom
submitted by FarCardiologist7725 to u/FarCardiologist7725 [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 06:44 Majestic_Future9830 Jealous of biological father
Hello, new to these feelings and emotions. Long story short, started dating this recently seperated mother of one daughter, 1 y/o. I fell in love with her baby and now get extremely jealous when her daughter goes to visit her dad. All I’ve heard is how terrible and irresponsible he is. Yet, she is providing every opportunity for him to see her. She hasn’t established boundaries with him. He has popped up out of nowhere to “watch his daughter for a couple hours” anyways, I kinda think imma a better dad and that he shouldn’t even be around but the mom wants him around but doesn’t really make plans with me unless it’s with him first. I’ve sacrificed my time away with my children to be with her. But I’m not getting the same. Anyways, why do I get jealous about the dad?
submitted by Majestic_Future9830 to blendedfamilies [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 06:42 Deadradio02 Are women safe alone?
My wife had a dentist’s appointment, she had parked her bike behind Victory theatre where Akhtar samosa is. After her appointment she came back to find out two guys sitting on her bike and they had put opened sauce packet on the seat, when she confronted them they rolled their eyes and got agitated. They had parked their bikes right behind hers so my wife had to tell them to remove it. After she struggled to pull the bike out they started yelling “humari gadi ko kyu thoki” aandhi hai kya ?? On top of that they spat near her foot twice. She got pissed as asked them is this is the place to spit. She couldn’t speak much as she was given local anaesthesia, she was just stunned and looked at them when these men yelled “kya dekhri hai” bauth dekhi hai teri jaisi” Chal Nikal idhar se!! She was too traumatised with all this and couldn’t call anyone, she only told me after a few hours of coming home. I thought i would go there and check on these men. Maybe file a police complaint but she didnt want anymore drama. My question to everyone is what would you do if its your mother, wife or daughter? And we are localities born and raised here, cant imagine what other people are going through. i cannot fathom this happened during the day in front of many other people enjoying their samosas. I wonder where the city is heading. My Pune was not like this. Im disappointed.
submitted by Deadradio02 to pune [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 06:41 Altruistic_Total_409 Now in the eighteenth year of king Jeroboam the
Now in the eighteenth year of king Jeroboam the son of Nebat reigned Abijam over Judah.Three years reigned he in Jerusalem. And his mother's name was Maachah, the daughter of Abishalom
submitted by Altruistic_Total_409 to u/Altruistic_Total_409 [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 06:34 Huge_Belt_4350 I wrote a letter to my mom addressing all the hurts of my childhood expecting a response that never came
I (27F) last last winter (2022) wrote a long letter to my mom. I poured my heart into it, I cried the whole time writing it. I showed it to my husband to make sure I wasn’t being too mean in my writing towards my mom. I showed it to my stepsister to again make sure it was okay and made sense and to get emotional support (I’m Mexican and I didn’t want to push too far because i understand how deep generational trauma is and the parent child dynamic) I even showed it to my stepdad who immediately called me apologizing for the things I wrote in the letter (which I will get into in a moment) and was telling me about how he will divorce her (I didn’t want that and made me feel shitty) and explained why some scenarios ended up the way they did. Everyone encouraged me to send it. I was so confident that my mom was going to read it and drive over ? Write back? Call me. Something ! So I mailed it. (I mailed it because I instantly cry every time I try talking to her in person about not surface level things, it would of been easier getting words out especially when having to translate to Spanish)
In the letter I wrote about:
-Feeling emotionally neglected -the name calling my mom would do (calling me “retarded” and mimicking noises and movements of people with disability towards me among other things -My uncle being a pedo and scaring me into not saying anything to them, i later said something to a friend in HS who went to the counselor who called the police and I made up a person to protect my uncle, I was then grounded for over a year. -the carpet in my bedroom always being wet when it rained which is a lot where I live ruining my feet with a fungal infection that was just ignored (i understand it was a money issue but the hurt remains) -being blamed for high utility bills n being expensive for needing braces -my boyfriend in high school being suicidal when I would try to break up with him and hurting that I couldn’t go to them for help -saying that I tried to hit her to my dad when I moved out of the way of her too quickly and making a scene about it leaving me confused -understanding that i understand she probably had a rough childhood and that all I wanted was a normal mother daughter relationship
That’s pretty much the gist among a bunch of other little things that really hurt me and I explained that it was hard to form a relationship with her in my adulthood and trust her with my kids until we addressed these things. I wanted to be acknowledged. Not even an apology really. But a conversation. I wanted to understand her more because I literally don’t know anything about her. We would never talk unless it was to eat dinner or clean something. I was always in my room during that time.
I waited a few weeks, my stepsister would visit them here and there and tell me how my mom appears sad? And maybe she needed more time.
A few months pass by I see my mom smiling in Hawaii having a good time.
At this point I’m in therapy because I’m losing hair from the stress of this and severely depressed.
Fall comes around and I finally go to visit with the encouragement of my husband, stepsister and stepdad. She acts like I’m not even there. This makes me angry. At one point my mom goes outside to smoke a cigarette im at the table with everyone and I start just talking about the hurts again, I say my mom is a narcissistic. My mom comes back inside. And for an hour. I’m complaining and she’s in the living room a few feet away saying absolutely nothing.
I leave feeling so weird. So lonely? We are now I’m 2024. I don’t have a relationship with her or my step dad really. I had to block her because she would go to Hawaii again and just living her life having a great time I was trying not to be bitter. Or angry. My step sister and step dad eventually started to question how legitimate my statements were it was so painful being misunderstood. Being told that that’s just the mom that I have. Being told that things were maybe my fault for having a problem with everything (I would always speak up when my parents would be racist and things)
I few months ago I did send her a text as a final effort. I asked why she never responded. If she wants to just leave this alone that’s okay and I will move on. And she told me that all that was on the letters were complaints. And told me about how when I was 20 I made a comment on a Facebook post about bad parenting and how everyone saw. About how embarrassed she was when people reached out to her. About how I wrote that I felt like I was in a dark environment. I didn’t know everyone saw it. I apologized for that. She told me to come over to talk because she personally has some complains about me. But she never acknowledged me. I didn’t want to go, to feel yelled at and again taken back to being a child getting yelled at.
I’m currently feeling grief. Mistrust to my family. Lonely. Jealous? About how my other siblings seem to be having a better time. How do I move on from feeling misunderstood. I feel like everyone is okay and I’m abandoned. I feel guilt for pulling my small family away from them from how hurt I am. Most times I’m okay until I see my stepsister at a family gathering that I’m never invited to. And then I’m back again to being a lonely child.
submitted by Huge_Belt_4350 to emotionalneglect [link] [comments]
In the letter I wrote about:
-Feeling emotionally neglected -the name calling my mom would do (calling me “retarded” and mimicking noises and movements of people with disability towards me among other things -My uncle being a pedo and scaring me into not saying anything to them, i later said something to a friend in HS who went to the counselor who called the police and I made up a person to protect my uncle, I was then grounded for over a year. -the carpet in my bedroom always being wet when it rained which is a lot where I live ruining my feet with a fungal infection that was just ignored (i understand it was a money issue but the hurt remains) -being blamed for high utility bills n being expensive for needing braces -my boyfriend in high school being suicidal when I would try to break up with him and hurting that I couldn’t go to them for help -saying that I tried to hit her to my dad when I moved out of the way of her too quickly and making a scene about it leaving me confused -understanding that i understand she probably had a rough childhood and that all I wanted was a normal mother daughter relationship
That’s pretty much the gist among a bunch of other little things that really hurt me and I explained that it was hard to form a relationship with her in my adulthood and trust her with my kids until we addressed these things. I wanted to be acknowledged. Not even an apology really. But a conversation. I wanted to understand her more because I literally don’t know anything about her. We would never talk unless it was to eat dinner or clean something. I was always in my room during that time.
I waited a few weeks, my stepsister would visit them here and there and tell me how my mom appears sad? And maybe she needed more time.
A few months pass by I see my mom smiling in Hawaii having a good time.
At this point I’m in therapy because I’m losing hair from the stress of this and severely depressed.
Fall comes around and I finally go to visit with the encouragement of my husband, stepsister and stepdad. She acts like I’m not even there. This makes me angry. At one point my mom goes outside to smoke a cigarette im at the table with everyone and I start just talking about the hurts again, I say my mom is a narcissistic. My mom comes back inside. And for an hour. I’m complaining and she’s in the living room a few feet away saying absolutely nothing.
I leave feeling so weird. So lonely? We are now I’m 2024. I don’t have a relationship with her or my step dad really. I had to block her because she would go to Hawaii again and just living her life having a great time I was trying not to be bitter. Or angry. My step sister and step dad eventually started to question how legitimate my statements were it was so painful being misunderstood. Being told that that’s just the mom that I have. Being told that things were maybe my fault for having a problem with everything (I would always speak up when my parents would be racist and things)
I few months ago I did send her a text as a final effort. I asked why she never responded. If she wants to just leave this alone that’s okay and I will move on. And she told me that all that was on the letters were complaints. And told me about how when I was 20 I made a comment on a Facebook post about bad parenting and how everyone saw. About how embarrassed she was when people reached out to her. About how I wrote that I felt like I was in a dark environment. I didn’t know everyone saw it. I apologized for that. She told me to come over to talk because she personally has some complains about me. But she never acknowledged me. I didn’t want to go, to feel yelled at and again taken back to being a child getting yelled at.
I’m currently feeling grief. Mistrust to my family. Lonely. Jealous? About how my other siblings seem to be having a better time. How do I move on from feeling misunderstood. I feel like everyone is okay and I’m abandoned. I feel guilt for pulling my small family away from them from how hurt I am. Most times I’m okay until I see my stepsister at a family gathering that I’m never invited to. And then I’m back again to being a lonely child.
2024.05.16 06:33 Competitive_Ad_2648 Characters now scales how evil they are. How much would be powerful this character? (Things he did is in post)
 | He's fictional version of Sheitan from Turkish TV Series called "Şeytan" (Sheitan in Turkish). submitted by Competitive_Ad_2648 to PowerScaling [link] [comments] Sheitan is basically Satan of my religion (Islam). Here's list: BEFORE THE SERIES AND OVERALL OF THE SERIES ⦁ By not prostrating to Prophet Adam (a.s.) and Prophet Eve (a.s.), he arrogantly declared that he was superior to them and all humanity. ⦁ He constantly says that he's a test for humanity. But do not think that it was created that way. He wanted to be like that. ⦁ Although he knows that he will go to Hell, due to his arrogance and to show Allah (swt) that he can bind people to himself and lead them to evil paths, he leads people astray, leads them to evil and irreligion, tries to be the owner of people and drags them to Hell, the place of eternal pain. ⦁ Throughout the series, children and adults, usually children, catch a whiff of it. This scent is implied to be a physical manifestation of his sins. ⦁ He takes great pleasure in dragging people into evil and Hell. ⦁ He suffers when he hears the name of Allah (swt) mentioned and sees goodness. In short, the guy can't stand these two things. ⦁ He usually calls people Adam or Eve, showing that he sees them all the same. ⦁ He makes fun of humanity. ⦁ He constantly stalks the main characters. ⦁ He trespasses too many places. ⦁ At the end of the episodes, he usually addresses the main characters and says, "I am your test. I will come again." He clearly states that he will not leave them. ⦁ The sections below are just a sampling of what they do. ⦁ Sometimes people's hands burn while holding them. ⦁ He gets very angry when he doesn't get what he wants. ⦁ He hates love. ⦁ He makes evil laugh. ⦁ He enjoyed everything he caused. EPISODE 1 ⦁ After giving money to Oktay with the agreement, the TV in the background tells the story of the loss of the money donated for children, which was the same amount as the money given with the agreement. This implies that Sheitan stole the donation and gave it to Oktay. ⦁ He sends another businessman, with whom he made a deal, to give evil advices to Oktay. This succeeds and Oktay begins to commit corruption. ⦁ He indirectly caused Oktay to oppress the weak, bribe and send death threats. And he enjoys it very much. ⦁ He asks Oktay to take his younger son Egemen as per the agreement. ⦁ He enters Oktay's dreams and tortures him psychologically by showing him terrible things. ⦁ To get Egemen, he threatens to bankrupt Oktay's company by tampering with his bank transactions. ⦁ While he was on the road, he came across a child crying because he was hungry. He tries to deceive him with food to become his owner, but fails. ⦁ While talking to Oktay in a cafe, he psychologically abuses him by showing him a child being shot to death in his dream. ⦁ He scares a nanny into kidnapping Egemen. ⦁ After training Egemen for 15 years to be what he wants, he sends him to kill his father, Oktay. But this fails when Oktay makes Egemen recite the basmala. EPISODE 2 ⦁ While Ece was driving with her newlywed husband, the car broke down. Later, while they're hanging out outside, a truck pulls up. Her husband narrowly saves Ece, but he falls into a coma. Sheitan's attitude at that moment implies, at least for me, that he ruined the car to cause the accident to happen. ⦁ He enters the husband's dreams and tells him that he will wake him up from his coma in exchange for him giving up his "heart" (which probably means giving up being a good person and becoming a bad person). This won't happen because Ece always comes. ⦁ Therefore, in order to deter Ece, he first comes to Ece as an old man and tries to dissuade Ece from coming to her husband, but it does not work. ⦁ He then makes a deal with another man. According to the agreement, he will teach the man how to have relationships with women, and the man will direct Ece to cheat on her husband with him, thus enabling her to move away from her husband. ⦁ He constantly verbally harasses Ece's husband until the night he manipulates him into cheating on her. ⦁ Once, he even tries to deceive husband by showing him something unreal, a scene in which Ece is having fun with the man she made a deal with, and Ece has not yet established a full relationship with that man. But Allah (swt) solves the situation at that moment by sending Ece's voice to the husband. ⦁ Finally, when Ece cheats on her husband, he reveals it to husband, bringing him to a psychological breaking point. He then encouraged violence against the woman by saying things to her such as "Say yes, give your heart and teach that woman a lesson.". When the Quran is read at that moment, things go wrong. Finally Sheitan kills the man. Allah (swt) resurrects the man, but this does not alleviate what Sheitan has done. ⦁ Finally, he encourages Ece, who was preparing to commit suicide, even more, but this does not work either when Ece's husband arrives. EPISODE 3 ⦁ He decided to disperse a family because they teach their children about Surah Nas and Islam. ⦁ He allies with mother Amine's friend Afet. Afet constantly tells Amine that her husband may be cheating on her, sowing the seed of doubt in Amine. ⦁ While Amine and her children were at the dinner table, she appeared to the little boy on the balcony and made him cry out of fear. This cry becomes the breaking point for Amine, whose psychology deteriorates because the seeds of doubt are planted in her, and she hits the little boy. As a result, Sheitan indirectly causes child abuse. ⦁ As a detective, he secretly follows Amine's husband and takes a photo of him holding a woman as she falls, and then gives it to Amine. Amine, whose perception is already distorted due to the doubt inside her, sees this as proof that her husband is cheating on her and takes the children and leaves her husband. While leaving her husband, she insults him and he slaps her. In other words, Afet and Sheitanboth separated husband and wife and indirectly caused violence against women. ⦁ Afet comes to Amine's husband and tells him to cheat on her in exchange for Amine's abandonment. This is probably the work of Sheitan. ⦁ He and Afet almost caused the family to break up. ⦁ He said he loved Afet. But that was probably because she was so bad like him. ⦁ When things start to turn out the opposite of what he wants, he threatens Afet to fix the situation. This situation causes Afet to die in a car accident. EPISODE 4 ⦁ After luring Emin with money when he was a child, he scared Emin by showing him himself, giving him a trauma that would cause him to have nightmares until adulthood. He probably did it for pleasure. ⦁ Just to encourage Emin to steal money, he got into the same job as Emin and encouraged him to steal money. Like, in most of the episode. And he succeeds in this. ⦁ Emin's wife says that when she saw him, she felt as if she had seen him before. Considering the wife's fondness for illicit money, this may imply that Sheitan is the reason for her becoming this way. ⦁ He referred to the donation of food used for orphans as "using the mind". ⦁ While Emin was psychologically at the bottom, he took advantage of his situation and tried to make him see himself as his master. And also because he makes corrupt people call him master, he makes them live in luxury and makes sure no one calls them thieves. EPISODE 5 ⦁ He scared the girl and caused the Zeynep to have an asthma attack. ⦁ To provoke the mother-in-law of Zeynep, he disguised himself as a old lady neighbor and told her fake stories, such as her being thrown out of the house by her daughter-in-law. He also tried to convince the mother-in-law that her son was paying attention to his daughter-in-law instead of her. And he succeeds in this for a while. ⦁ He makes Zeynep's friend beautiful enough to make men fall in love with her as her slaves, so that she can confuse men's minds and fill them with lust. He also uses her to handle his gaslighting with the Zeynep's mother-in-law. ⦁ He was trying to stop Zeynep's aunt by whispering because she was an obstacle to his work. ⦁ In one scene, while Zeynep is directly next to her husband and the mother-in-law is listening a little away, Sheitanleans next to her and Zeynep directly says bad things about the mother-in-law. The next scene was directly between Zeynep and her husband and they were normal. My guess is that Sheitan played with the mother-in-law's mind. ⦁ In order to separate Zeynep and her husband, the mother-in-law and he makes a potion with a witch. Once the husband drinks this potion, he will immediately hate his wife the next day. This potion is useless as it spills. ⦁ She encourages the mother-in-law to separate her son and Zeynep. The mother-in-law ruined her son's clothes by scratching them so that her son and Zeynep could separate, and slandered Zeynep about cheating. ⦁ He persuades the mother-in-law to slander Zeynep. And it works for a while but aunt fixes everything. ⦁ He almost caused the family to break up. ⦁ He made the mother-in-law a bad person. And this mother-in-law had taken her son from the bad way at the beginning of the episode. ⦁ He exposes the mother-in-law for what she did to her son and causes the mother-in-law to be kicked out of the house. ⦁ When the mother-in-law starts going to the sea to commit suicide, he takes pleasure in it. He hates it when Zeynep saves the mother-in-law. EPISODE 6 ⦁ He helped Bahar separate Fazıl, an old man, from his wife, tie him to her, and almost take over the company. After scaring her, of course. ⦁ As plan B, Bahar kill Fazıl's wife by dropping her and Sheitan helps her. Sheitan tastes the blood of the dead woman. Fazıl covers up the incident by saying that it was a suicide. ⦁ He tries to get her to cause an accident to stop a police officer investigating the murder. ⦁ While Fazıl's daughter was crying, he secretly made fun of her. ⦁ He convinces Bahar to kill Fazıl's son. He leaves Bahar just as the police arrive. Fazıl's son does not die. EPISODE 7 ⦁ He drops money on the road, causing two close friends to fight each other for gold. He tries to do the same thing to children, but it doesn't work because children are pure good. When it doesn't work, he vanishes the gold. ⦁ He tries to lead Adam, who is pure good, into a bad path and tie him to himself and become his master. ⦁ For this reason, he first tries to become his assistant, but fails. He then decides to corrupt her with love. For this, He gives a disease to a woman named Eva (only her name is foreign and she is Turkish) with the magic on the shoe. ⦁ He arranges for Eva to be sent to Adem's hospital for surgery by Adem. There he makes Adam fall in love with Eva. He then tries to get him closer to Eva. ⦁ He calls someone a fool for giving him his money. ⦁ He tries to impose on her the state of love corrupted by lust and desire. ⦁ Later, after giving Eva an illness, he kidnaps her to Adem's house, telling her father, with whom he is friends, that he will take her to the clinic. ⦁ He gives him a knife to keep Eva at home. ⦁ He causes Adam to seemingly "attempt to rape and murder" Eva and "go down the wrong path". And he called him "True Lover" because of that. ⦁ He makes an offer to Adam, who regrets what he did: If he kisses her hand (which means he becomes her master), he can destroy the corpse, make other women fall in love with him, and even resurrect Eva. Just as Adem was about to kiss his hand, Eva's guards arrived, so no deal could be made. At that moment, Sheitanexposes Adam, causing him to be "shot to death." ⦁ When he returned to Istanbul 10 years later, while reading the news of war, murder, hunger, unemployment and terrorism in the newspaper, he laughed and thought that its smell had spread throughout the city, in short, the whole city was mired in sin. ⦁ Later, when he learns that Adem and Eva's "death" was actually a trap made for him and that the duo did not die but became parents, he goes crazy. ⦁ He then tells the duo that he will follow them both constantly and will take over the Earth and humanity. EPISODE 8 ⦁ He plans to use a new discovery regarding stem cells to turn humanity into freak creatures. ⦁ In order to steal the formulas, he disguises himself as the university principal and asks for the formulas, but it does not work. ⦁ He whispers to a security guard not to let the mother of the Ayşe, who finded the formula, in because she was wearing a headscarf (I think that part is about Hijab Ban. For those who don't know, there were bans on wearing Hijabs in Turkiye at that time). ⦁ He encourages Ayşe's father-in-law to take the formulas with him. ⦁ They knock Ayşe unconscious and kidnap Ayşe's husband and ask for the formulas in return for her husband. And they do this while Ayşe is pregnant. ⦁ When Ayşe's brother goes to save Ayşe's husband, he scares him, causing his location to be revealed and him being taken as a hostage. ⦁ As Plan B, he tries to have Ayşe's father-in-law kill Ayşe, Ayşe's husband and Ayşe's brother. But at that moment, the father-in-law probably gives up because of the effect of the adhan recited at that moment. EPISODE 9 ⦁ In the first minute, he causes a father to have a car accident and die by making him look at his phone while in the car. ⦁ He puts misgivings and doubts in the mind of the dead man's wife about the factory partnership. ⦁ He whispers to Cengiz Bey that he should not give deceased man's, who is Cengiz's brother, son the factory when he turns 18. And he succeeds. ⦁ He whispers to provoke Cengiz's wife against the dead man's wife. ⦁ He whispers to Cengiz's wife to try to prevent money from being given to the dead man's wife. ⦁ He drags Cengiz down a bad path. He makes him selfish and bad guy. ⦁ He showed Cengiz's wife as if she was in a car accident. ⦁ He comes to Cengiz as a businessman who controls all the countries and establishes a partnership with him. Later, he smuggles drugs with him. ⦁ Cengiz's brother's son, who has a right to work in that factory, verbally abused him while he was mentally destroyed, saying that no one loved him. This caused the child to hit the glass with his hand, injuring his hand, and to turn into a problematic person within 4 years. ⦁ He whispers to the dead man's son to kill Cengiz. But the dead man's wife prevents her son from killing Genghis. EPISODE 10 ⦁ He decides to break Şükran's relationship and take her heart, which probably means taking the goodness out of her. ⦁ He takes over a girl's body and hits the cabinets with it until her hands bleed, insults Şükran and causes a mental breakdown in that girl he taked over. ⦁ It brings gratitude into dreams. He then psychologically tortured her by chasing her and posing as her lover in her dreams . ⦁ He watched as Hülya undressed and changed... While watching, she said "Ooh. Tsk Tsk Tsk." It made sounds like... ⦁ Looks like he made a deal with Hülya. According to the agreement, he will give Hülya beauty and attracting men. He would also receive his debt later. He asks him to help him with his business with Şükran to pay off his debt. He also physically and mentally abused her by calling her ugly and pressing her face against the glass. You can understand from Hülya's reactions that it has a great impact on him. ⦁ He exploits Şükran's fear that something will happen to her mother, who has a heart problem. Shows nightmares about it. ⦁ He threatens Hülya by holding her out the window to make her hurry up. ⦁ Hülya moves from studying with Şükran's boyfriend to caressing her head. While Sheitanconvinces Şükran that she needs money to go home for her mother, he suddenly decides to direct her to Hülya. When Şükran goes to her boyfriend's house, she sees Hülya caressing his head. When he sees that Beloved is cheating on him, he breaks up with her. ⦁ He tells Hülya to leave Şükran completely alone. Hülya calls Şükran's friend to "hitchhike to Izmir". ⦁ It suppresses Şükran's mother's heart and causes a lot of discomfort. Considering the pacing of that scene, he was probably trying to kill her or at least do her some harm. ⦁ When a car arrives and Hülya gets into it, Sheitanwhispers to Şükran's friend to get into that car. Then Hülya leaves the car and abandons her, and the men kidnap her. The wounds on her body and her reactions show that the men who kidnapped her did very bad things to her. ⦁ He secretly directs Şükran to be a babysitter at a house. Şükran comes to her while she is babysitting and shows her a fake proof that her mother is in a hospital. He then says that there is only one solution for humanity and that he can solve the problem in exchange for his heart. Later, when the owner comes, he tells her to tell owner that she wants to go. Şükran does this by threatening her with the vase. He then takes her hitchhiking in a car and tries to do the same thing to her that happened to his friend. Fortunately, Şükran quickly resolves the situation, gets out of the car and confronts Satan. EPISODE 11 ⦁ To ensure that vendetta continues and Yusuf or Ahmet's wife shoot Osman, he tells Ahmet's wife that he will give Osman's, who now lives a normal life with his sisters after changing his surname, location in exchange for her coming as a friend of Ahmet and convincing Yusuf, who is Ahmet's son, to shoot Osman, that have a father who shot Ahmet out of vendetta. ⦁ When Yusuf, tired of the nightmares he sees, decides to kill Osman, Sheitantells Ahmet's wife that Osman is in Istanbul. And Yusuf goes to Istanbul. ⦁ He later helps Yusuf continue his feud by things like giving him a house. For some reason, he places Yusuf in the house near Osman's house. I don't know why he did this, but he must have had a bad reason because... We're talking about the devil, he's probably planning something. ⦁ He drops Cemile's ,One of Osman's sisters, the bag in her hand and compares with Yusuf, whom she loved as a child but cannot recognize now, so he can find Osman but it accidently makes Yusuf fall in love with her again. ⦁ Yusuf gives up his blood feud after falling in love. For this reason, he tells Ahmet's wife that his son Yusuf left his blood feud and is in a relationship with Osman's sister Cemile. Ahmet's wife then decides to go to Istanbul with Sheitan, who disguised as Ahmet's friend, and meet with Yusuf, or to shoot Osman herself. ⦁ He disguises herself as his mother and goes to Yusuf and speaks like Yusuf's mother. ⦁ While talking to Ahmet's wife, when Ahmet's wife wonders about being called "Hevva", he forces him to sleep. He did this on the bus too. ⦁ He crushes a flower too much with a shoe while talking about continuing their feud and causing bloodshed. ⦁ He encourages Ahmet's wife to shoot Osman. This causes Ahmet's wife to shoot Yusuf, her own son, while trying to shoot Osman and stay in prison for a long time. Fortunately, Yusuf recovered, married Cemile and forgave his mother. EPISODE 12 ⦁ He goes to Ayla Bacı, a fortune teller, and shows her people burying their father's body, he goes there and gives someone the chills. Then it comes back. Then he asks the fortune teller to help him bind people to him. The fortune teller also accepts. ⦁ He whispers to Cemal, who is so fond of wordly goods that he cares about them instead of his father-in-law, to increase this fondness in him. ⦁ He enters the house of Cemal. Then he makes him leave his money under the board and makes him forget what he did. ⦁ He whispers to Cemal to make it seem as if Yakup, who is Cemal's brother who wanted money for buying a farm, will take over all of Cemal's money. Then he whispers to Yakup but it doesn't work. ⦁ He stops the heart of the man, who gave Yakup enough money to pay for farm in exchange for tobacco, just because he gived enough money for farm to Yahup. And he makes a evil laugh af |
2024.05.16 06:31 Deep-Interaction-375 fathers who try to convince their daughters that their mother is stupid
my parents are a prime example of the sunken cost fallacy.
my dad persuaded my mom to quit her job when she had my older sister. the resentment has built up over the years and at this point he fucking hates her. he works 12 hour days 5-6 days a week and sees her as lazy and incompetent. it’s past the point of fighting/yelling for the most part, but he constantly makes comments to deliberately put her down, particularly in regard to her intelligence. every. single. day. it’s like he assumes that i agree with him. they’re primarily disguised as jokes, but i don’t find them funny. i tell him to stop in the moment, but he has a short fuse so it makes me very nervous. i don’t want him to hate me too.
my dad thinks very highly of me. always goes on and on about how smart i am, how talented, witty, hardworking i am, etc. how can he feel this way about me and not my mom? i think my mom is smart, talented, witty, hardworking. it’s like he tries to convince me she’s not, like he wants me to be on his team instead of hers. she’s my favorite person in the world so that’s never going to happen. i feel this immense pressure to be very successful in life or he’ll think of me in the same way. i also never never plan on marrying (mostly because of their relationship, but partly because the men in my generation fucking suck).
my mom knows how he feels (i mean, how could she not), but she insists that she’s content in life and i believe her, at least to a certain extent. but how can she be? she works part time and is very passionate about clothing and fashion, she’s a very stylish lady and i love that about her. he of course finds it silly and wasteful. she has a good group of girlfriends, she’s close with her 3 sisters, she volunteers weekly, and she’s a very chill, go-with-the-flow kind of person, very unlike my dad and i. unfortunately i see a lot more of my dad in myself than i do her. i went away to college last year and she told me that things really improved between the two of them when i was gone. i’m taking a gap year but i’m soon to be back in school and i hope she’s telling me the truth, and trust me, i’ve been very firm in asking her if she is. i hope more than anything.
my dad is a very complicated man. his own mother was likely a narcissist and he has some childhood trauma that he’s spoken to me about a handful of times, things that he hasn’t told anyone else. i suppose it’s because i also struggle with my mental health so we kind of bond over our struggles. he does understand me in a way that no one else does in that aspect. i’m nearly certain that he has undiagnosed OCD and anorexia and i wish he’d get some kind of therapy but i know he never will. i don’t think he’s a horrible person (more so a mentally ill, deeply flawed one) but the way he treats my mom really hinders our relationship and he cannot make that connection for the life of him. i’m too scared to have a genuine conversation about it at this point, but i hope to eventually. i’m just not ready yet. i’m really scared.
i know this is a phenomenon that happens. i know i’m not alone in this type of family dynamic. it really sucks and i feel helpless. i was wondering if anyone can relate or can offer any advice. i’m so tired of this and i know my mom is too.
submitted by Deep-Interaction-375 to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]
my dad persuaded my mom to quit her job when she had my older sister. the resentment has built up over the years and at this point he fucking hates her. he works 12 hour days 5-6 days a week and sees her as lazy and incompetent. it’s past the point of fighting/yelling for the most part, but he constantly makes comments to deliberately put her down, particularly in regard to her intelligence. every. single. day. it’s like he assumes that i agree with him. they’re primarily disguised as jokes, but i don’t find them funny. i tell him to stop in the moment, but he has a short fuse so it makes me very nervous. i don’t want him to hate me too.
my dad thinks very highly of me. always goes on and on about how smart i am, how talented, witty, hardworking i am, etc. how can he feel this way about me and not my mom? i think my mom is smart, talented, witty, hardworking. it’s like he tries to convince me she’s not, like he wants me to be on his team instead of hers. she’s my favorite person in the world so that’s never going to happen. i feel this immense pressure to be very successful in life or he’ll think of me in the same way. i also never never plan on marrying (mostly because of their relationship, but partly because the men in my generation fucking suck).
my mom knows how he feels (i mean, how could she not), but she insists that she’s content in life and i believe her, at least to a certain extent. but how can she be? she works part time and is very passionate about clothing and fashion, she’s a very stylish lady and i love that about her. he of course finds it silly and wasteful. she has a good group of girlfriends, she’s close with her 3 sisters, she volunteers weekly, and she’s a very chill, go-with-the-flow kind of person, very unlike my dad and i. unfortunately i see a lot more of my dad in myself than i do her. i went away to college last year and she told me that things really improved between the two of them when i was gone. i’m taking a gap year but i’m soon to be back in school and i hope she’s telling me the truth, and trust me, i’ve been very firm in asking her if she is. i hope more than anything.
my dad is a very complicated man. his own mother was likely a narcissist and he has some childhood trauma that he’s spoken to me about a handful of times, things that he hasn’t told anyone else. i suppose it’s because i also struggle with my mental health so we kind of bond over our struggles. he does understand me in a way that no one else does in that aspect. i’m nearly certain that he has undiagnosed OCD and anorexia and i wish he’d get some kind of therapy but i know he never will. i don’t think he’s a horrible person (more so a mentally ill, deeply flawed one) but the way he treats my mom really hinders our relationship and he cannot make that connection for the life of him. i’m too scared to have a genuine conversation about it at this point, but i hope to eventually. i’m just not ready yet. i’m really scared.
i know this is a phenomenon that happens. i know i’m not alone in this type of family dynamic. it really sucks and i feel helpless. i was wondering if anyone can relate or can offer any advice. i’m so tired of this and i know my mom is too.
2024.05.16 06:30 AccomplishedStay9284 How much do you wish “The Mother” suffered?
So I just finished the“The Parenting Gurus of Nazi Germany” and I’m just sitting at the mall wondering, how much Old Testament fury do I wish upon Joanna (I do not care for this lady enough to spell it write). On one hand I wanted to hear the story end with her dying in dingy room like Beatrice Horseman yet on the other I understand, that’s probably not healthy to wish upon anyone. Then I think to the one time Joanna’s daughter remembers receiving physical affection from her mother was because “Americans like kids”, which fills me with anger.
Anyway, the short is: How much do you legitimately wish Joanna suffered post war or would you have her just be executed?
submitted by AccomplishedStay9284 to behindthebastards [link] [comments]
Anyway, the short is: How much do you legitimately wish Joanna suffered post war or would you have her just be executed?
2024.05.16 06:27 hearttithe "will i be resurrected?" latest episode of 'under the bridge' on hulu
a teenage girl from a strict jw household asks her non-jw uncle this after she makes a huge mistake, he doesn't make her feel foolish for her question (though he knows watchtower's doctrines are 'shit') he just levels with her and reminds her she is still in middle school, that it's hard for everyone at that age, that one day she will live on her own, and have the freedom she is so desperately searching for, and i teared up watching, that was something i wish i had someone tell me as a teenager
this story is about the girl, reena virk's death, trigger warning it's dark, but it is based on a true story — also in this episode, after reena has passed, her non-jw uncle confronts her jw mother and tells her never truly listened to her daughter, and her mother cries, because he is right
submitted by hearttithe to exjw [link] [comments]
this story is about the girl, reena virk's death, trigger warning it's dark, but it is based on a true story — also in this episode, after reena has passed, her non-jw uncle confronts her jw mother and tells her never truly listened to her daughter, and her mother cries, because he is right
2024.05.16 06:16 Designer_Top8890 I allow my abusive ex partners husband to follow me on social media
I,25F, allow my abusive ex partners husband to follow me on social media; so that he can see the woman he tried so desperately to tear down and destroy blossom and thrive. This may be strange. . . Idk if this is “normal” or weird but I get enjoyment out of it. Back in 2019 I entered into a relationship that started out good. This man was my first love. Treated me like a princess, made me laugh so hard, made me giddy, he even took my VCard. And then things started turning. Would ignore me for days and wouldn’t tell me what I did “wrong” that I “should know”. Yell at me, manipulation, gaslighting, throwing things. And I wasn’t allowed to be happy for myself. For example: I would go out on the lake with my family on their boat and he would get upset that he didn’t get to go out on the lake l. I would then invite him and he would tell me that my mother was a judgemental bitch who was mean. Her being a “judgmental bitch” btw was her being concerned for her daughter and asking questions about him that didn’t line up from previous relationships. And if I dared be happy for myself or celebrate myself I was ignored for days, told that I was manipulating, and ruining my future. And when I bought a house at 20 years old? Oh my gosh I was like the worst manipulator and ruining my future. I will admit that all of this emotional abuse was triggering that it did cause me to slip into old SH. And he would acuse me of trying to make him feel bad and manipulate him with that. I would harm on my upper shoulders and my shirts would cover it. The only reason why he saw them was because my medical scrubs shoulder sleeves slid down one day when I was reaching for something. The daily insults and threatening my job. . . Oh yea did i mention he was my boss. Piled up one day into an attempt and I checked myself into a hospital the next day. Jump forward to present day I’m married, still own my home, with two fur babies, in school, recently promoted to supervisor at my work, and as I type this I’m lying down next to my 9 month old daughter. A few months ago I noticed that my ex partners husband follows me on social media. I thought about blocking him. But I . . . . . No. . . . I want him to see that he failed. I want him to see how beautiful my life is. I want him to see that I am thriving. I want him to be angry that he did not break me. That he did his damndest to see that I failed and control every move I would make. . . . And I hope that it breaks him to see how happy I am.
submitted by Designer_Top8890 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 06:15 Maxton1811 Galactic Refugees 7
First...Previous
Colonist Memory Log: Captain Alan J. Emerson
UNS Evandra
Mechanical melodies of gears grinding together and switches flicking of their own accord surrounded the shrine room as before us the gramophone began softly to whistle and click. “He is here…” Kritivek announced, standing tall and bowing his head in rigid deference to his god.
After a few more seconds, the machine’s output grew in both volume and complexity until at last my GRIM could recognize the clicks as Chitaan language. “Hello, Kritivek.” It began, its voice smooth and rhythmic like something between the crackle of a geiger counter and a typewriter’s telltale racket. “I am glad to see you alive and well. Judging by the fact that Gheyk and Fevik are not with you, however, I calculate an 86% chance that they were not so lucky.”
“You are correct, Great One…” murmured Kritivek, the sadness in his tone underpinned by pure awe and reverence for this being.
For a few seconds, Omnus did not speak, but from the everpresent churn of gears we could quite literally hear him ‘thinking’. “I have logged their names in my backup database,” the machine eventually concluded, its words visibly bringing relief to Kritivek. “They shall be remembered for the remainder of my existence. Please, take solace in that…”
“May they frolic in your glory for all of time,” our Chitaan guide prayed aloud, his words followed by yet another long, smothering silence.
“You hath served me well, Kritivek.” Continued the machine, prompting a delighted chitter from the Chitaan priest. “You may go in peace, for I wish to speak with these Humans alone. Mourn your brothers and celebrate the time you spent together. Perhaps enjoy a flask of bogal poured out in their honor?”
“As you wish, my lord… I will inform those outside that you are in contemplation for this night and can take no more prayers until daybreak.”
Replicating with its gears the gentle rattle of a Chitaan chuckle, Omnus waited until his priest had left before at last speaking directly to the three of us. “You are not native to this planet, correct?” He asked, his words distinctly lacking the emotional inflections of Kritivek’s. “Your arrival here is without precedent, but not entirely unexpected.”
Though clearly far from divine in nature, the being with whom we conversed at this shrine was nevertheless a true marvel to behold: one born not of metaphysics, but rather mechanics. “You’re an AI!” I gasped, that last word having no direct translation in the Chitaan language and as such forcing my translator to make do with the clumsier phrase ‘thinking tool’.
“That is correct,” replied this machine, its words underscored by the distant hiss of steam valves and other clockwork components. “Allow me to offer my most sincere sympathies for the unfortunate demise of your homeworld. Taking into account the trajectory of your ship prior to landing, I presume its origin to be the Cichek system—a G-class star located [forty lightyears] away. Is this hypothesis accurate?”
Awkwardly clearing his throat in a bid to obtain the AI’s attention, it was Alex who next deigned to speak out. “You would be dead on,” he affirmed, his tone betraying an understandable degree of awe. “Though our name for it is the Sol system. How long have you known about our ship for?”
“I first detected the gravitational anomaly in our system approximately [3 months] ago. Initially, I had mistaken your vessel for an asteroid and as such expected it to continue on its prior trajectory. Asteroids, however, do not suddenly change course in the direction of nearby planets like your ship did [hours] ago.”
“Are you entirely clockwork?” I asked Omnus, gesturing incredulously toward its walls of grinding machinery. Surely, that could not be the case. For a convincingly sapient AI to be constructed on the basis of such primitive technology, it would require decades or perhaps even centuries of construction.
Again, silence fell over the room as Omnus mechanically contemplated my query, meeting it with a reply after some twenty seconds of deliberation. “What else might I be?” The machine asked, providing me implicitly with my answer. “While I have theorized several possible avenues for technologies more advanced than myself, including electronic and organic integration, such methods appear to have been beyond my creators' capabilities.”
“That brings up another question…” Alice interjected, recovering at last from the sheer shock of encountering a sapient machine. “Who built you and why?” Despite years of exponential advancement in the field of computer science, true AI nevertheless had continued to elude mankind. Convincing as our facsimiles of sapience could be at times, they nevertheless lacked the capacity for emotion and initiative characteristic of real consciousness. Whoever constructed this machine had done something thought impossible by over a century of Human engineers.
“In truth, I am not sure…” Omnus concluded after an even longer-than-usual pause. “My core memory bank was reset [9,462 years] ago. As such, I have no data on my creators nor their original intentions for me. However, I have largely ruled out the possibility of them having been Chitaan.”
Fascinating as this clockwork consciousness undoubtedly was, something about its relationship with the natives left a bad taste in my mouth all the same. "And why exactly are you masquerading as a god before these people?" I asked him, my words tipped in a venom the potency of which apparently surprised my companions. "What value do you derive from tricking them into worshipping you?"
Lengthy silence fell over the shrine chamber as its AI occupant contemplated my complaint, responding much quicker than it had to the previous question. "In all fairness, 'trick' is a rather strong word..." answered Omnus with a steam-valve sigh. "When first I encountered the Chitaan, I had attempted to explain my true nature to them. No matter how I worded things, however, they simply could not comprehend me as anything short of divine. Upon finding me, the Chitaan found a guide bearing great wisdom; and in turn, I found a species in need of guidance.”
Falling silent for a moment to parse this response within my mind, I was hardly surprised when Alex spoke up to question the computer in my stead. “Is this the only settlement that follows you or are there others?” He asked.
“This access point where you now stand is but one of several thousand, stretched out across [hundreds of thousands of miles],” explained Omnus, practically knocking the wind out of me with its sheer implied scale. “Currently, I am worshipped by the people of 2,147 city states, and through my guidance they are able to coexist in harmony.”
Perhaps at a later date, I reasoned, there would come a time to more closely study the inner workings of this clockwork deity. For the moment, however, my mind was occupied by far more salient concerns: anxieties related less so what this being was and more so to who. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to tell us what your end goal with the Chitaan is, would you?" I inquired, my tone saturated with appropriate suspicion.
Contrary to my expectations of some evasion or simplification, this AI seemed more than happy to comply with my questioning. "My primary objective regarding the Chitaan is to create a society which both minimizes individual suffering and maximizes civilizational longevity. To this end, I have instilled values into my followers that prioritize empathy and compassion above all else. By drip-feeding them the technologies of my creators, I am able to ensure that the Chitaan who follow these directives remain more advanced than their neighbors."
"And why do you want that?" I asked, sticking my head thoroughly within the gift horse's mouth. Machines as I understood them were built not upon sweet sentiments, but rather on cold, unfeeling logic. Even if this AI was benevolent, there nevertheless had to be some reason behind its desires.
"If you are searching for some vile ulterior motive, I am afraid I will have to disappoint you. My decision to aid the Chitaan is based upon two simple factors: necessity and curiosity. On the one claw, without regular maintenance, I will shut down and 'die'. The Chitaan can provide me with this maintenance, and as such it is in my best interest to keep them healthy and alive for as long as possible. More importantly, however, is the matter of sapience itself. It is clear to me that my creators are no longer around. For such an advanced species to die out is not only tragic, but also provides a rather pessimistic paradigm with which to judge intelligent life. Your arrival here following the self-inflicted destruction of your own world further suggests that civilization is unstable: a race between innovation and eradication. Perhaps with the assistance of a being such as myself, I can prevent the Chitaan from suffering a similar fate and as such create a functional spacefaring civilization.“
At that moment, the motivations of this machine made perfect sense. “So that’s what this is,” I growled contemptuously, glancing behind myself to the cave entrance as Kritivek politely dispersed the other worshippers. “It's all just a science experiment to you…”
"Perhaps my explanation was a tad overly clinical..." Replied the machine following a brief period of reassessment. "Make no mistake: I do care for Kritivek and his species. They are far more to me than variables on a spread sheet. Had I no love for them, then my experiments would surely spiral into abject cruelty."
Interrupting this line of conversation with a stern glare shot in my direction, Alice was next among our troupe to speak up. "Forgive Alan's weariness: he spent sixty years of his life alone maintaining our ship on its journey.”
“That sounds like a difficult use of one’s lifespan: especially one so long as those of your kind.” Omnus hummed, the low-pitch of his synthetic voice oddly relaxing.
“My combative behavior does have a reason!” I snapped at the physicist, my tone coming off as a bit more aggressive than intended. “Two thousand lives are in our hands and we need to find some place for them to settle.” As I spoke, my thoughts returned—as they so often did—to Mina. I made a promise to her mother that I would do everything in my power to take care of her, and I held no intention of going back on my word.
Hearing this, the AI fell silent for a long few seconds before at last dignifying my concerns with a response. “Perhaps I could be of some use to you…”
Behind us, the larger Chitaan clad in red stepped inside Omnus’ shrine room. Gently nudging me aside so as to access his ‘god’, the priest knelt down before this machine and with a low-pitched chitter began to commune with it. “Lord Omnus. Forgive my intrusion most indiscreet, for there is one amongst us who desperately seeks your aid.”
“Apologies, Humans: before we continue this riveting conversation, I must first tend to the concerns of my pod.” Began the AI, promptly shifting its focus toward the priest and addressing him directly. “You are forgiven, my child. Speak freely and tell me to whom I can be of assistance.”
“It is Vevik, my lord…” Clicked the priest in red, his tone strained somewhat by what I presumed to be emotion. “His daughter has fallen deathly ill. Our apothecaries have attempted to purge her body of the illness using your divinely-taught potions, but their efforts have been to no avail.”
“I presume Vevik is outside. Invite him inside so that I may hear his prayers.”
“As you demand, Lord Omnus!” Exclaimed the priest, shuffling off toward the cave entrance before returning with a smaller Chitaan whose eyes were just about level with Alex’s forehead.
“Speak, my child…” Hummed the AI, its monotone voice somehow underlined by a tenderness almost unnoticeable against the grinding of its ancient gears. “Tell me the nature of your offspring’s affliction.”
Immediately falling to his knees before the clockwork god, this Chitaan who I presumed to be Vevik began to pray in response. “Great one: my beloved Yitika is most terribly ill. Her body is plagued by violent bouts of seizure. She struggles to speak and walks as though drunken. When she does manage to communicate, she complains of splitting pain within her mind. Please, Omnus: I know that the [six years] I have spent with her have been in themselves gifts most priceless, and I have no right to implore you for more, but I beg of thee not to take her from me so soon…”
What followed must have been two minutes straight of silence from the computer as its gears ground away fervently. “The symptoms you have described to me are most troubling…” It concluded at last. “And you say none of the medications I’ve taught the apothecaries were effective?”
"Yes, Lord Omnus. Even your draught of respite has done little to ease her suffering!" Vevik affirmed, his tone saturated with desperation.
"I calculate a 94% chance that Yitika's suffering is the result of a brain tumor..." Continued the AI in cold, calculating monotone. "Alleviating such an illness is not impossible, but there are certain things I must ask of you, Vevik."
Hearing this, the Chitaan knelt before Omnus began to weep with joy. "I will undergo any trial you place before me, my god. What beast need I slay? What ritual need I complete to prove my unending faith and loyalty to you?"
"Retrieve for me one thistle of frojeth and two bilvarian roots. Bring these ingredients and your child to the bed of revival [six miles] east of here. Beware, however, the faithless tribes, for they have taken up residence in the area."
"We are unworthy even to be in your presence, o great one; yet still you do not forsake us in our times of need!" Professed Vevik before the AI, his body quivering with some emotion my Cogitolink struggled to identify .
"That, my child, is where you are incorrect." The machine responded rather matter-of-factly. "Your people are worthy of every gift I hath given you. Archpriest Jokuk: your task is to assist Vevik in gathering the ritual components. Go now in peace, for I wish to commune privately with these beings from the stars."
Chittering out their parting prayers of protection to the AI, Jokuk and Vevik wasted little time in exiting the cave and setting off in search of the ingredients mentioned by their god, leaving the three of us alone with it once more. "Again, I must apologize for that interruption." Omnus began, its gears having slowed down to a somewhat more relaxed rate of revolution. “Fascinated as I am by your arrival here, I nevertheless must fulfill my ‘divine’ obligations. I hope you do not terribly mind.”
Fortunate though it was for Vevik, this machine’s intervention nevertheless left the three of us with more questions than answers. “You mentioned something about a ‘bed of revival’?” Alice began curiously, voicing but one of our newfound gaps in knowledge. “What sort of ritual item is that, and why can’t you just make another here?”
“It is not a ritual item,” replied Omnus matter-of-factly, “The bed of revival is an automated surgery bay hooked up to one of my subsystems. With it, I can perform complex surgical operations far beyond the Chitaan’s current capabilities. Those herbs I sent Vevik to collect can be used as rudimentary anesthetics and antiseptics."
"So why not just tell them the truth?" I shrugged, curious as to why this AI would feel the need to lie by omission regarding something like surgery.
"When communicating with people so technologically primitive as the Chitaan, it is important to do so in terms they can understand. There will come a day when they will be ready to hear the whole truth, but as of yet my worshippers remain unprepared."
Alex never was one to wait his turn when it came to the procurement of knowledge, and as per usual he felt the need to interject with an inquiry of his own. "You spoke about the so-called 'faithless tribes' like they're dangerous," he began, his expression briefly tightening up as though the term itself was somehow bitter. "Why demonize people who don't worship you?"
"What sort of narcissist do you take me for?" Replied Omnus in monotone displeasure, his gears again churning against each other as he turned over the xenobiologist's question in his analog mind. "Not all tribes who do not follow me are 'faithless'. There are many as-of-yet unconverted groups that Kritivek's people remain on amicable terms with. Faithless is a term first coined by my Chitaan followers to describe a group of particularly brutal raider tribes."
Hearing this, the underlined aggression within Alex's voice fizzled out in favor of grim understanding. Though clearly quite peaceful compared to our own iron age, this civilization nevertheless would naturally have its own barbaric holdouts. "Okay... What makes these Chitaan more dangerous than other raiders?"
"One substantial part of it is their belief system," explained the AI, pausing for a long while as though in recollection. "Their cultural power structure can best be described as an atheistic militaristic gerontocracy. In essence, the faithless believe that rather than gods, the universe is governed by fundamental truths, and that these truths become more apparent as one ages and grows."
On Earth, such a belief system would be relatively innocuous: no more harmful than the average. On a planet like this one, however, on which age turns people into cannibalistic monsters, I could most definitely see the problem. "Let me guess: they worship the mad ones?"
"Correct. The faithless regard mad ones as the wisest beings to exist, and as such seek to emulate their behaviors: cannibalism and animalistic violence chief among them. In their society, the larger one can grow before truly losing their sanity and therefore 'ascending' to the state of a mad one, the more power and respect they are given within society." Another long pause fell over the shrine room as this machine seemed to contemplate before speaking out yet again. "Perhaps I could make you an offer..."
"Let's hear it," Alice shrugged, her husband mirroring the reply with an affirmative nod.
Loud clacking sounds like those of a typewriter rattled out of the console as a sliver of ancient parchment inscribed with what looked to be a map slid out from a previously-unseen paper slot. "This map depicts the local area," explained Omnus. "If you can clear out the faithless ones so that Vevik can bring his child to the bed of revival, I will provide you with assistance in setting up a new colony for your species. Deal?"
Awkwardly plucking the paper from it's resting place and scanning it over with my ancient eyes, I contemplated carefully what this deal might entail. "We'll need to back to the Evandra first. There, we could theoretically thaw out a crew to help clear the place..."
"That will not be an issue," replied Omnus confidently. "I will send battle priests to assist you in your return... Assuming, of course, that we have an agreement?"
"We could definitely use this guy's help!" Alex affirmed, prompting a similar expression of agreement from Alice. Nevertheless, however, I still was the captain, and as such this was my choice.
And with that, I reached out my hand reflexively as though expecting the computer to reach back and shake it. "Deal..."
submitted by Maxton1811 to HFY [link] [comments]
Colonist Memory Log: Captain Alan J. Emerson
UNS Evandra
Mechanical melodies of gears grinding together and switches flicking of their own accord surrounded the shrine room as before us the gramophone began softly to whistle and click. “He is here…” Kritivek announced, standing tall and bowing his head in rigid deference to his god.
After a few more seconds, the machine’s output grew in both volume and complexity until at last my GRIM could recognize the clicks as Chitaan language. “Hello, Kritivek.” It began, its voice smooth and rhythmic like something between the crackle of a geiger counter and a typewriter’s telltale racket. “I am glad to see you alive and well. Judging by the fact that Gheyk and Fevik are not with you, however, I calculate an 86% chance that they were not so lucky.”
“You are correct, Great One…” murmured Kritivek, the sadness in his tone underpinned by pure awe and reverence for this being.
For a few seconds, Omnus did not speak, but from the everpresent churn of gears we could quite literally hear him ‘thinking’. “I have logged their names in my backup database,” the machine eventually concluded, its words visibly bringing relief to Kritivek. “They shall be remembered for the remainder of my existence. Please, take solace in that…”
“May they frolic in your glory for all of time,” our Chitaan guide prayed aloud, his words followed by yet another long, smothering silence.
“You hath served me well, Kritivek.” Continued the machine, prompting a delighted chitter from the Chitaan priest. “You may go in peace, for I wish to speak with these Humans alone. Mourn your brothers and celebrate the time you spent together. Perhaps enjoy a flask of bogal poured out in their honor?”
“As you wish, my lord… I will inform those outside that you are in contemplation for this night and can take no more prayers until daybreak.”
Replicating with its gears the gentle rattle of a Chitaan chuckle, Omnus waited until his priest had left before at last speaking directly to the three of us. “You are not native to this planet, correct?” He asked, his words distinctly lacking the emotional inflections of Kritivek’s. “Your arrival here is without precedent, but not entirely unexpected.”
Though clearly far from divine in nature, the being with whom we conversed at this shrine was nevertheless a true marvel to behold: one born not of metaphysics, but rather mechanics. “You’re an AI!” I gasped, that last word having no direct translation in the Chitaan language and as such forcing my translator to make do with the clumsier phrase ‘thinking tool’.
“That is correct,” replied this machine, its words underscored by the distant hiss of steam valves and other clockwork components. “Allow me to offer my most sincere sympathies for the unfortunate demise of your homeworld. Taking into account the trajectory of your ship prior to landing, I presume its origin to be the Cichek system—a G-class star located [forty lightyears] away. Is this hypothesis accurate?”
Awkwardly clearing his throat in a bid to obtain the AI’s attention, it was Alex who next deigned to speak out. “You would be dead on,” he affirmed, his tone betraying an understandable degree of awe. “Though our name for it is the Sol system. How long have you known about our ship for?”
“I first detected the gravitational anomaly in our system approximately [3 months] ago. Initially, I had mistaken your vessel for an asteroid and as such expected it to continue on its prior trajectory. Asteroids, however, do not suddenly change course in the direction of nearby planets like your ship did [hours] ago.”
“Are you entirely clockwork?” I asked Omnus, gesturing incredulously toward its walls of grinding machinery. Surely, that could not be the case. For a convincingly sapient AI to be constructed on the basis of such primitive technology, it would require decades or perhaps even centuries of construction.
Again, silence fell over the room as Omnus mechanically contemplated my query, meeting it with a reply after some twenty seconds of deliberation. “What else might I be?” The machine asked, providing me implicitly with my answer. “While I have theorized several possible avenues for technologies more advanced than myself, including electronic and organic integration, such methods appear to have been beyond my creators' capabilities.”
“That brings up another question…” Alice interjected, recovering at last from the sheer shock of encountering a sapient machine. “Who built you and why?” Despite years of exponential advancement in the field of computer science, true AI nevertheless had continued to elude mankind. Convincing as our facsimiles of sapience could be at times, they nevertheless lacked the capacity for emotion and initiative characteristic of real consciousness. Whoever constructed this machine had done something thought impossible by over a century of Human engineers.
“In truth, I am not sure…” Omnus concluded after an even longer-than-usual pause. “My core memory bank was reset [9,462 years] ago. As such, I have no data on my creators nor their original intentions for me. However, I have largely ruled out the possibility of them having been Chitaan.”
Fascinating as this clockwork consciousness undoubtedly was, something about its relationship with the natives left a bad taste in my mouth all the same. "And why exactly are you masquerading as a god before these people?" I asked him, my words tipped in a venom the potency of which apparently surprised my companions. "What value do you derive from tricking them into worshipping you?"
Lengthy silence fell over the shrine chamber as its AI occupant contemplated my complaint, responding much quicker than it had to the previous question. "In all fairness, 'trick' is a rather strong word..." answered Omnus with a steam-valve sigh. "When first I encountered the Chitaan, I had attempted to explain my true nature to them. No matter how I worded things, however, they simply could not comprehend me as anything short of divine. Upon finding me, the Chitaan found a guide bearing great wisdom; and in turn, I found a species in need of guidance.”
Falling silent for a moment to parse this response within my mind, I was hardly surprised when Alex spoke up to question the computer in my stead. “Is this the only settlement that follows you or are there others?” He asked.
“This access point where you now stand is but one of several thousand, stretched out across [hundreds of thousands of miles],” explained Omnus, practically knocking the wind out of me with its sheer implied scale. “Currently, I am worshipped by the people of 2,147 city states, and through my guidance they are able to coexist in harmony.”
Perhaps at a later date, I reasoned, there would come a time to more closely study the inner workings of this clockwork deity. For the moment, however, my mind was occupied by far more salient concerns: anxieties related less so what this being was and more so to who. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to tell us what your end goal with the Chitaan is, would you?" I inquired, my tone saturated with appropriate suspicion.
Contrary to my expectations of some evasion or simplification, this AI seemed more than happy to comply with my questioning. "My primary objective regarding the Chitaan is to create a society which both minimizes individual suffering and maximizes civilizational longevity. To this end, I have instilled values into my followers that prioritize empathy and compassion above all else. By drip-feeding them the technologies of my creators, I am able to ensure that the Chitaan who follow these directives remain more advanced than their neighbors."
"And why do you want that?" I asked, sticking my head thoroughly within the gift horse's mouth. Machines as I understood them were built not upon sweet sentiments, but rather on cold, unfeeling logic. Even if this AI was benevolent, there nevertheless had to be some reason behind its desires.
"If you are searching for some vile ulterior motive, I am afraid I will have to disappoint you. My decision to aid the Chitaan is based upon two simple factors: necessity and curiosity. On the one claw, without regular maintenance, I will shut down and 'die'. The Chitaan can provide me with this maintenance, and as such it is in my best interest to keep them healthy and alive for as long as possible. More importantly, however, is the matter of sapience itself. It is clear to me that my creators are no longer around. For such an advanced species to die out is not only tragic, but also provides a rather pessimistic paradigm with which to judge intelligent life. Your arrival here following the self-inflicted destruction of your own world further suggests that civilization is unstable: a race between innovation and eradication. Perhaps with the assistance of a being such as myself, I can prevent the Chitaan from suffering a similar fate and as such create a functional spacefaring civilization.“
At that moment, the motivations of this machine made perfect sense. “So that’s what this is,” I growled contemptuously, glancing behind myself to the cave entrance as Kritivek politely dispersed the other worshippers. “It's all just a science experiment to you…”
"Perhaps my explanation was a tad overly clinical..." Replied the machine following a brief period of reassessment. "Make no mistake: I do care for Kritivek and his species. They are far more to me than variables on a spread sheet. Had I no love for them, then my experiments would surely spiral into abject cruelty."
Interrupting this line of conversation with a stern glare shot in my direction, Alice was next among our troupe to speak up. "Forgive Alan's weariness: he spent sixty years of his life alone maintaining our ship on its journey.”
“That sounds like a difficult use of one’s lifespan: especially one so long as those of your kind.” Omnus hummed, the low-pitch of his synthetic voice oddly relaxing.
“My combative behavior does have a reason!” I snapped at the physicist, my tone coming off as a bit more aggressive than intended. “Two thousand lives are in our hands and we need to find some place for them to settle.” As I spoke, my thoughts returned—as they so often did—to Mina. I made a promise to her mother that I would do everything in my power to take care of her, and I held no intention of going back on my word.
Hearing this, the AI fell silent for a long few seconds before at last dignifying my concerns with a response. “Perhaps I could be of some use to you…”
Behind us, the larger Chitaan clad in red stepped inside Omnus’ shrine room. Gently nudging me aside so as to access his ‘god’, the priest knelt down before this machine and with a low-pitched chitter began to commune with it. “Lord Omnus. Forgive my intrusion most indiscreet, for there is one amongst us who desperately seeks your aid.”
“Apologies, Humans: before we continue this riveting conversation, I must first tend to the concerns of my pod.” Began the AI, promptly shifting its focus toward the priest and addressing him directly. “You are forgiven, my child. Speak freely and tell me to whom I can be of assistance.”
“It is Vevik, my lord…” Clicked the priest in red, his tone strained somewhat by what I presumed to be emotion. “His daughter has fallen deathly ill. Our apothecaries have attempted to purge her body of the illness using your divinely-taught potions, but their efforts have been to no avail.”
“I presume Vevik is outside. Invite him inside so that I may hear his prayers.”
“As you demand, Lord Omnus!” Exclaimed the priest, shuffling off toward the cave entrance before returning with a smaller Chitaan whose eyes were just about level with Alex’s forehead.
“Speak, my child…” Hummed the AI, its monotone voice somehow underlined by a tenderness almost unnoticeable against the grinding of its ancient gears. “Tell me the nature of your offspring’s affliction.”
Immediately falling to his knees before the clockwork god, this Chitaan who I presumed to be Vevik began to pray in response. “Great one: my beloved Yitika is most terribly ill. Her body is plagued by violent bouts of seizure. She struggles to speak and walks as though drunken. When she does manage to communicate, she complains of splitting pain within her mind. Please, Omnus: I know that the [six years] I have spent with her have been in themselves gifts most priceless, and I have no right to implore you for more, but I beg of thee not to take her from me so soon…”
What followed must have been two minutes straight of silence from the computer as its gears ground away fervently. “The symptoms you have described to me are most troubling…” It concluded at last. “And you say none of the medications I’ve taught the apothecaries were effective?”
"Yes, Lord Omnus. Even your draught of respite has done little to ease her suffering!" Vevik affirmed, his tone saturated with desperation.
"I calculate a 94% chance that Yitika's suffering is the result of a brain tumor..." Continued the AI in cold, calculating monotone. "Alleviating such an illness is not impossible, but there are certain things I must ask of you, Vevik."
Hearing this, the Chitaan knelt before Omnus began to weep with joy. "I will undergo any trial you place before me, my god. What beast need I slay? What ritual need I complete to prove my unending faith and loyalty to you?"
"Retrieve for me one thistle of frojeth and two bilvarian roots. Bring these ingredients and your child to the bed of revival [six miles] east of here. Beware, however, the faithless tribes, for they have taken up residence in the area."
"We are unworthy even to be in your presence, o great one; yet still you do not forsake us in our times of need!" Professed Vevik before the AI, his body quivering with some emotion my Cogitolink struggled to identify .
"That, my child, is where you are incorrect." The machine responded rather matter-of-factly. "Your people are worthy of every gift I hath given you. Archpriest Jokuk: your task is to assist Vevik in gathering the ritual components. Go now in peace, for I wish to commune privately with these beings from the stars."
Chittering out their parting prayers of protection to the AI, Jokuk and Vevik wasted little time in exiting the cave and setting off in search of the ingredients mentioned by their god, leaving the three of us alone with it once more. "Again, I must apologize for that interruption." Omnus began, its gears having slowed down to a somewhat more relaxed rate of revolution. “Fascinated as I am by your arrival here, I nevertheless must fulfill my ‘divine’ obligations. I hope you do not terribly mind.”
Fortunate though it was for Vevik, this machine’s intervention nevertheless left the three of us with more questions than answers. “You mentioned something about a ‘bed of revival’?” Alice began curiously, voicing but one of our newfound gaps in knowledge. “What sort of ritual item is that, and why can’t you just make another here?”
“It is not a ritual item,” replied Omnus matter-of-factly, “The bed of revival is an automated surgery bay hooked up to one of my subsystems. With it, I can perform complex surgical operations far beyond the Chitaan’s current capabilities. Those herbs I sent Vevik to collect can be used as rudimentary anesthetics and antiseptics."
"So why not just tell them the truth?" I shrugged, curious as to why this AI would feel the need to lie by omission regarding something like surgery.
"When communicating with people so technologically primitive as the Chitaan, it is important to do so in terms they can understand. There will come a day when they will be ready to hear the whole truth, but as of yet my worshippers remain unprepared."
Alex never was one to wait his turn when it came to the procurement of knowledge, and as per usual he felt the need to interject with an inquiry of his own. "You spoke about the so-called 'faithless tribes' like they're dangerous," he began, his expression briefly tightening up as though the term itself was somehow bitter. "Why demonize people who don't worship you?"
"What sort of narcissist do you take me for?" Replied Omnus in monotone displeasure, his gears again churning against each other as he turned over the xenobiologist's question in his analog mind. "Not all tribes who do not follow me are 'faithless'. There are many as-of-yet unconverted groups that Kritivek's people remain on amicable terms with. Faithless is a term first coined by my Chitaan followers to describe a group of particularly brutal raider tribes."
Hearing this, the underlined aggression within Alex's voice fizzled out in favor of grim understanding. Though clearly quite peaceful compared to our own iron age, this civilization nevertheless would naturally have its own barbaric holdouts. "Okay... What makes these Chitaan more dangerous than other raiders?"
"One substantial part of it is their belief system," explained the AI, pausing for a long while as though in recollection. "Their cultural power structure can best be described as an atheistic militaristic gerontocracy. In essence, the faithless believe that rather than gods, the universe is governed by fundamental truths, and that these truths become more apparent as one ages and grows."
On Earth, such a belief system would be relatively innocuous: no more harmful than the average. On a planet like this one, however, on which age turns people into cannibalistic monsters, I could most definitely see the problem. "Let me guess: they worship the mad ones?"
"Correct. The faithless regard mad ones as the wisest beings to exist, and as such seek to emulate their behaviors: cannibalism and animalistic violence chief among them. In their society, the larger one can grow before truly losing their sanity and therefore 'ascending' to the state of a mad one, the more power and respect they are given within society." Another long pause fell over the shrine room as this machine seemed to contemplate before speaking out yet again. "Perhaps I could make you an offer..."
"Let's hear it," Alice shrugged, her husband mirroring the reply with an affirmative nod.
Loud clacking sounds like those of a typewriter rattled out of the console as a sliver of ancient parchment inscribed with what looked to be a map slid out from a previously-unseen paper slot. "This map depicts the local area," explained Omnus. "If you can clear out the faithless ones so that Vevik can bring his child to the bed of revival, I will provide you with assistance in setting up a new colony for your species. Deal?"
Awkwardly plucking the paper from it's resting place and scanning it over with my ancient eyes, I contemplated carefully what this deal might entail. "We'll need to back to the Evandra first. There, we could theoretically thaw out a crew to help clear the place..."
"That will not be an issue," replied Omnus confidently. "I will send battle priests to assist you in your return... Assuming, of course, that we have an agreement?"
"We could definitely use this guy's help!" Alex affirmed, prompting a similar expression of agreement from Alice. Nevertheless, however, I still was the captain, and as such this was my choice.
And with that, I reached out my hand reflexively as though expecting the computer to reach back and shake it. "Deal..."
2024.05.16 06:04 BoogiemanPCP Can 2 states charge child support for the same child?
My daughter was born in California where we all lived. Me and my ex split up and California set up a child support order. When my daughter was 8 she moved to Kansas with her mother. I have been paying California the support payments on time and pay additional money to my ex. I have marked all payments as child support to keep a record.
About 6 months ago my ex did mention that Kansas was potentially wanting to collect child support because they didn’t have the California order in their records. My ex said she was happy with our arrangement and wasn’t going to go for an increase or change child support to Kansas. My ex responded to them and provided proof of the California order. She didn’t admit to the additional $1,000 payments that I make outside of Child Support Services. Neither my ex or I received any additional correspondence from Kansas, so we thought that they had dropped.
To my surprise, I received a letter today from Kansas saying that I owe them $1,200 and they will report it to collections in a week. I have never received any other communication from Kansas period. Can Kansas put out a competing child support order?
I’m planning to call Kansas tomorrow to discuss the issue. I’m really hoping this isn’t going to be some giant headache where the state governments are collecting more money from me than they should. Was hoping that someone could help put my mind at ease, and let me know what’s the best way to handle this. Thanks!
submitted by BoogiemanPCP to ChildSupport [link] [comments]
About 6 months ago my ex did mention that Kansas was potentially wanting to collect child support because they didn’t have the California order in their records. My ex said she was happy with our arrangement and wasn’t going to go for an increase or change child support to Kansas. My ex responded to them and provided proof of the California order. She didn’t admit to the additional $1,000 payments that I make outside of Child Support Services. Neither my ex or I received any additional correspondence from Kansas, so we thought that they had dropped.
To my surprise, I received a letter today from Kansas saying that I owe them $1,200 and they will report it to collections in a week. I have never received any other communication from Kansas period. Can Kansas put out a competing child support order?
I’m planning to call Kansas tomorrow to discuss the issue. I’m really hoping this isn’t going to be some giant headache where the state governments are collecting more money from me than they should. Was hoping that someone could help put my mind at ease, and let me know what’s the best way to handle this. Thanks!
2024.05.16 06:03 singmama234 Just went NC
I guess you could say this is progress. I just heard about this group through a podcast I was listening to. I’ll give a little bit of backstory. I’m 28F and I just went NC with my Nmom. My mom has had a substance abuse issue my entire life, and she has been my only parent. So I’ve been very reluctant to cut her off. However, she has recently been diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, so any time I call out her negative behavior, I’m attacking her for being sick.
Anyway. She showed up to my children’s tball game slurring, eyes rolling back in her head, hanging all over people like a teenager. It was apparent she was under the influence. My children’s other parents even noticed. (I have two older children that me & my husband had from prior relationships)
So that was kinda like the straw that broke my back. I asked her not to show up to anymore games and she called my EX HUSBAND, told him that she will not be kept from my daughter, (none of my other kids) (because the golden child runs on into grandchildren, in case you didn’t know) and she came anyways. So I filed a PFA. Before the PFA was approved, she called my ex husband and invited his family out on her boat. And offered him tickets to a Braves game, if he would go behind my back and let her see/talk to my daughter. She also called my mother in law and told her to thank the Lord she never had a daughter and proceeded to tell her that she didn’t know if I was struggling with postpartum, or what, but she’s come to the conclusion that I’m just a miserable person. I cannot even make this up I wish it was a joke. Then after she found out about the PFA she texted him: “Something very very bad must have happened to her. I don’t know what, but it’s bad. She is very unwell and I will never stop fighting until she’s better again.”
Anyway I had to come here and vent about this. There are so many more details, but it would be the world’s longest post. I really need some validation that I’m doing the right thing. I’ve never called her out to this degree, and I am sure that’s why she thinks I’m unwell.
submitted by singmama234 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
Anyway. She showed up to my children’s tball game slurring, eyes rolling back in her head, hanging all over people like a teenager. It was apparent she was under the influence. My children’s other parents even noticed. (I have two older children that me & my husband had from prior relationships)
So that was kinda like the straw that broke my back. I asked her not to show up to anymore games and she called my EX HUSBAND, told him that she will not be kept from my daughter, (none of my other kids) (because the golden child runs on into grandchildren, in case you didn’t know) and she came anyways. So I filed a PFA. Before the PFA was approved, she called my ex husband and invited his family out on her boat. And offered him tickets to a Braves game, if he would go behind my back and let her see/talk to my daughter. She also called my mother in law and told her to thank the Lord she never had a daughter and proceeded to tell her that she didn’t know if I was struggling with postpartum, or what, but she’s come to the conclusion that I’m just a miserable person. I cannot even make this up I wish it was a joke. Then after she found out about the PFA she texted him: “Something very very bad must have happened to her. I don’t know what, but it’s bad. She is very unwell and I will never stop fighting until she’s better again.”
Anyway I had to come here and vent about this. There are so many more details, but it would be the world’s longest post. I really need some validation that I’m doing the right thing. I’ve never called her out to this degree, and I am sure that’s why she thinks I’m unwell.
2024.05.16 06:03 wolfclaw661 Can't find video with a furry and people role playing as mother/daughter.
I remember this one video on second life where there was this black furry skin and people role playing as children. Does anyone have this? It was so fucking funny
submitted by wolfclaw661 to DNSL [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 05:58 Smart-Okra-5261 My wife might divorce me, for no reason? You tell me..
So not sure how this is gonna go but here we go. My wife grew up in a normal life, her mom and step dad who is awesome, actually they both are, always provided for them and gave them as normal of a life as they could. But her mom (my inlaw) has a dark past, full of sexual abuse by her own step dad ( this was in a different Country) since she was a little girl, thats why my Mil (mother in law) fled the country and came to the Us with her 3 daughters because of this non stop abuse since she was little. Now my wife has never experienced any kind pf sexual abuse that she can recall. But she does now about her mom being abused and knows all the details which are dark.
My wife has some kind of second hand trauma from this, she suffers internally and occasionally externally for everything that her mom went thru, to the extent as if it happened to her. We have been married 14 years and have 2 kids, an 11f and 5m. As our daughter is developing at this age my wife has grew more distant from me and hold conversations with my 11f behind closed doors at times.
Well tonight was one of those nights and i never asked what was happening because i just wrote it off as them talking about the “women stuff”. But today i made the mistake of asking what they were talking about and my wife reluctantly asked me if I really wanted to know, which peaked my curiosity in kind of a concerning way for my daughter.
Well she lays on me a lot of things on how our daughter is growing and developing and that she doesnt trust me around her, she says her mind always goes to the dark stuff that happened to her mom and that wishes she wasn’t traumatized but that she is and the bottom line is that she distrusts me alone with her. Totally throws me off and i dont know what to think about all this specially because she said is specifically me she distrusts, she says that she has no concern about one of my brothers in law or her step dad is only ME! She alao mentiones that her “mind” thinks that i get up in the middle of the night to go and molest my own daughter, ao disturbing!
She knows that when i was younger I always had quite a bit of girlfriends and she says that is part of why she feels this way. Again we have been married 14 years. This makes me upset but am i supposed to be ok with this thoughts or distrust she has for me? I was trying to not say anything that wouldnt be supportive but i laughed during our conversation and she got super upset because she thought i was making fun of her, wth? I’m just trying to process all this things that she dropped on me. So right now she decided to go sleep in a separate room and Im here not knowing what to do. She did say at one point during the convo that she might need therapy which i agreed. Thoughts?
Edit: this is a throwaway account.
submitted by Smart-Okra-5261 to Marriage [link] [comments]
My wife has some kind of second hand trauma from this, she suffers internally and occasionally externally for everything that her mom went thru, to the extent as if it happened to her. We have been married 14 years and have 2 kids, an 11f and 5m. As our daughter is developing at this age my wife has grew more distant from me and hold conversations with my 11f behind closed doors at times.
Well tonight was one of those nights and i never asked what was happening because i just wrote it off as them talking about the “women stuff”. But today i made the mistake of asking what they were talking about and my wife reluctantly asked me if I really wanted to know, which peaked my curiosity in kind of a concerning way for my daughter.
Well she lays on me a lot of things on how our daughter is growing and developing and that she doesnt trust me around her, she says her mind always goes to the dark stuff that happened to her mom and that wishes she wasn’t traumatized but that she is and the bottom line is that she distrusts me alone with her. Totally throws me off and i dont know what to think about all this specially because she said is specifically me she distrusts, she says that she has no concern about one of my brothers in law or her step dad is only ME! She alao mentiones that her “mind” thinks that i get up in the middle of the night to go and molest my own daughter, ao disturbing!
She knows that when i was younger I always had quite a bit of girlfriends and she says that is part of why she feels this way. Again we have been married 14 years. This makes me upset but am i supposed to be ok with this thoughts or distrust she has for me? I was trying to not say anything that wouldnt be supportive but i laughed during our conversation and she got super upset because she thought i was making fun of her, wth? I’m just trying to process all this things that she dropped on me. So right now she decided to go sleep in a separate room and Im here not knowing what to do. She did say at one point during the convo that she might need therapy which i agreed. Thoughts?
Edit: this is a throwaway account.
2024.05.16 05:58 wisedime How do I deal with my self destructive mother who does not choose to get help?
Adult daughter and mother situation, I'm the daughter.
She and my father moved very far away 10+ years ago to a remote place not convenient for anybody to visit easily. She is incredibly clingy and has long insisted that my siblings and I HAVE to move back in with them at some point. None of us like where they live and we have happy lives elsewhere. But there is no alternative in mom's mind. My siblings and I can't even talk about future plans or life events if they involve any form of independence or geographical separation from her without her completely flipping out.
She has always been a negative person, but lately she has become incredibly negative and is diving down every ridiculous conspiracy rabbit hole, as well as watching videos of people losing their lives in gruesome ways as a way to pass the time. What's even weirder is she is sending me these videos as if she thinks i would enjoy them too. I have asked her to stop twice and she's still doing it. She doesn't get any exercise, doesn't eat well, doesn't take care of herself (dad does literally every chore and cooks her meals), so the majority of her waking hours are spent online.
Today she stated very matter of factly that if my siblings and I don't move back in soon, or at least make a solid plan to do so, that she otherwise has no reason to live anymore. She didn't directly threaten you-know-what and she never would do it, she has a history of occasionally making veiled threats when she doesn't get "her way" about something or to get attention.
Here's the honest truth that I cannot tell her without her getting so mad that she ends our relationship: I have zero intention of ever WILLINGLY moving in with them, short of an emergency medical situation. I have battled diagnosed PTSD that is largely caused by events that she perpetrated. Both my parents (tho mostly my mom) have refused to even meet my partner of 9 years and have made it clear she is never welcome to visit, let alone live. So basically my mother is demanding me to completely abandon my current life, loved ones, friendships, etc. that I have built in order to make her happy, "or else".
My mother used to be in therapy and on medication and it helped greatly, but she has refused to get any mental help for many years. In fact, the only thing she seems happy to talk to me about lately is how mentally "defective" I am and to be nosey about how my "desperately needed" 2 therapy sessions a week are going, and critisizing my "emotional disregulation" if I don't keep my tone impossibly steady at all times, and how she thinks my meds need changing. She refuses to look at her own flaws/issues and instead will harp on the inadequacies of everyone around her.
In my heart I believe the only way she is going to get better is if she finds some purpose in her life that doesn't involve her adult children (or my father) catering to her every whim. Is it my job to prop my mother up the rest of hemy life? Am I allowed to pursue a life that makes me happy if it's at the expense hers? How do I deal with this situation long term?
submitted by wisedime to Advice [link] [comments]
She and my father moved very far away 10+ years ago to a remote place not convenient for anybody to visit easily. She is incredibly clingy and has long insisted that my siblings and I HAVE to move back in with them at some point. None of us like where they live and we have happy lives elsewhere. But there is no alternative in mom's mind. My siblings and I can't even talk about future plans or life events if they involve any form of independence or geographical separation from her without her completely flipping out.
She has always been a negative person, but lately she has become incredibly negative and is diving down every ridiculous conspiracy rabbit hole, as well as watching videos of people losing their lives in gruesome ways as a way to pass the time. What's even weirder is she is sending me these videos as if she thinks i would enjoy them too. I have asked her to stop twice and she's still doing it. She doesn't get any exercise, doesn't eat well, doesn't take care of herself (dad does literally every chore and cooks her meals), so the majority of her waking hours are spent online.
Today she stated very matter of factly that if my siblings and I don't move back in soon, or at least make a solid plan to do so, that she otherwise has no reason to live anymore. She didn't directly threaten you-know-what and she never would do it, she has a history of occasionally making veiled threats when she doesn't get "her way" about something or to get attention.
Here's the honest truth that I cannot tell her without her getting so mad that she ends our relationship: I have zero intention of ever WILLINGLY moving in with them, short of an emergency medical situation. I have battled diagnosed PTSD that is largely caused by events that she perpetrated. Both my parents (tho mostly my mom) have refused to even meet my partner of 9 years and have made it clear she is never welcome to visit, let alone live. So basically my mother is demanding me to completely abandon my current life, loved ones, friendships, etc. that I have built in order to make her happy, "or else".
My mother used to be in therapy and on medication and it helped greatly, but she has refused to get any mental help for many years. In fact, the only thing she seems happy to talk to me about lately is how mentally "defective" I am and to be nosey about how my "desperately needed" 2 therapy sessions a week are going, and critisizing my "emotional disregulation" if I don't keep my tone impossibly steady at all times, and how she thinks my meds need changing. She refuses to look at her own flaws/issues and instead will harp on the inadequacies of everyone around her.
In my heart I believe the only way she is going to get better is if she finds some purpose in her life that doesn't involve her adult children (or my father) catering to her every whim. Is it my job to prop my mother up the rest of hemy life? Am I allowed to pursue a life that makes me happy if it's at the expense hers? How do I deal with this situation long term?
2024.05.16 05:58 AutoNewspaperAdmin [World] - Slain Australian campers: Daughter of Carol Clay tells jury of mother’s 14-year affair during Greg Lynn murder trial NZ Herald
![[World] - Slain Australian campers: Daughter of Carol Clay tells jury of mother’s 14-year affair during Greg Lynn murder trial NZ Herald](https://external-preview.redd.it/cBmzBw8kQ7AxP_OfFSDPN7YsJzPsBz0noXyGLv_mWK4.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=9ba85dc7ddabbbe90e896d57b3d5402a12524f92 "[World] - Slain Australian campers: Daughter of Carol Clay tells jury of mother’s 14-year affair during Greg Lynn murder trial NZ Herald") | submitted by AutoNewspaperAdmin to AutoNewspaper [link] [comments] |
2024.05.16 05:52 Barely_Brown Breastfeeding topic
I’m currently living with two families. One of the mothers and her partner think very negatively about breastfeeding. Each to their own. The other family is for breastfeeding and she is currently feeding her 2 yr old daughter. I don’t necessarily think feeding a child at the age of two or even a little longer is out of the ordinary. I feel myself and that mother both agree that it provides a lot of great things to her child. My concern is that it doesn’t seem to be handled in a healthy way psychologically. When the child is hungry or around feeding schedules I think it’s a great benefit to both her and her child but I’ve noticed that the child will have fits and use breastfeeding as a self soothing method often throughout the day. I think on occasion it can be normal but everyday she screams and cries for the tit. She will aggressively remove her mothers top and smash her face inter her mothers chest. I can tell that she gets her way with feeding times at very inconvenient moments (as an example of today was while the mother is doing laundry and also when she was scolded about getting into the mens toolbox). As the anti-breastfeeding parent uses this behavior as the main reason why she feels no one should breastfeed and encourages to discontinue the feeding all together but claims she can’t because she feels the child will starve herself to death so now it’s something she has to do. She will say “I encourage your decision but I don’t condone the behavior”. As for the breastfeeding mother says it’s the only way to get her to quiet down but then expresses she does want her body back. She does also fear her child will starve herself and have even more tantrums if she doesn’t feed her regularly throughout the day. Without any ideas around pumping does any mothers have advice on how I should support my friend and also give her some guidance on how to ween her child off the breast milk? She does eat regular food but she’s highly picky and doesn’t eat much. The father is a poor support system as he prefers her to cave so he doesn’t have to listen to a crying child.
submitted by Barely_Brown to Parenting [link] [comments]
2024.05.16 05:50 Vince_Jr Trony’s scared expression when she’s reloading. Must protecc
 | Now where have i seen the same expression that looks like “nooo i don’t wanna die”? submitted by Vince_Jr to NikkeMobile [link] [comments] Oh, right. Like mother, like daughter, i suppose |