Hi ! This is one more post of a series whose aim is to share the Monogatari short stories that hadn't been translated into English yet. Except that one already was. Whatever.
Short stories masterpost here, updated regularly to show our progress with the translations.
 
 
Today is a re-translation of Hitagi Throwing (by Tigoris), a rather long short story, published in the Heroine Book #5: Senjougahara Hitagi. This one is among the most interesting short stories : it is about Suruga remembering her first meeting with Hitagi at the age of 12.
Once again, the previous translation was very old, and I wanted to make sure we had a better version for the short stories book.
 
 
As someone who has been devoted to Senjougahara Hitagi for some years now, it feels like a betrayal of some kind to say something like this, but when I first met her as a first-year in middle school, the impression that I had of her was not exactly a positive one.
 
To be more specific, one might say that it was a negative impression.
 
I thought, “Just who is this girl?”
 
If it’s okay to be a bit more informal, then my more exact thought was, “This girl’s bad news.” Now, I’d like you to cut me some slack here, because at the time I had only just graduated from elementary school, and I was, in appearance, personality, ability, and intellect, a brat of a meager 12 years of age.
 
However, I will also firmly say that Senjougahara-senpai was not entirely without fault of her own; in fact, let me emphasize that she was not without fault. After all, when she—the track-and-field club’s very own ace—came storming into the gym during basketball practice, it seemed like the start of a raid, and all of the basketball club members flinched. And she didn’t come alone. She brought along a large group of her followers, which was not limited to other track-and-field members and included students from not only the second- and third-year students, but there were even some first-year students mixed in. To an observer, it looked as if a feudal lord had descended upon the gymnasium along with his full retinue of retainers.
 
To put it another way, it’s like when Mitchi showed up in Slam Dunk.
 
She was smiling softly and had a gentle manner, but that only made her all the more intimidating, in part because her cronies had an unusual air about them.
 
“You’re Kanbaru-san, then? I’ve heard rumors that you’re quick on your feet—if it’s no bother, may I observe you?”
 
What is she, a noble lady?
 
That was what I wanted to say, but back then Senjougahara-senpai was like that—she was like a character taken straight from a shoujo novel.
 
It put a shiver down my spine to discover that this person really existed. And allow me to clarify that when I say “a shiver down my spine,” I don’t mean it in the good way—looking back on it now, it might be more accurate to say that I recoiled with shock.
 
I had an instinctive feeling that her request was strange.
 
And so was she.
 
To put it simply, that just about sums up my first impression of her—of course, Senjougahara-senpai was famous, so after I had enrolled in the school and even before I joined the basketball club, I had already heard her name a number of times.
 
She and Hanekawa-senpai were the two poster children for my school—to the point that we were told (by a teacher during the entrance ceremony) not to cross “those two” if we wanted to make it in the school (at the time I didn’t know which two the teacher was talking about, but, in retrospect, the warning was largely accurate).
 
However, as you know, I was a twelve-year-old who had, for various reasons, a rather extraordinary obsession with running fast—but because of those same reasons, I was unable to join the track and field club. Nevertheless, I took an interest in the ace of the track and field club, Senjougahara-senpai, and went to observe her running during that April, even though I had not become a trial member of the team.
 
I didn’t realize that it was possible for a person to run so beautifully.
 
It took my breath away.
 
My running form was not something that I had received coaching for—even now, I have not received any education in sprinting, so my running form is self-taught. Being self-taught is not a bad thing; it’s a perfectly acceptable running style, and I never had a complex about how I ran, but when I saw Senjougahara-senpai run on that day, the beauty of her form stood in stark contrast to the frantic flailing of my own form.
 
She displayed the final form of human running.
 
She was the idealized runner.
 
But I could not attempt to copy her—she was not like me, and I was not like her.
 
I was painfully aware of our differences.
 
I also remember thinking that the track uniforms were erotic, but that’s neither here nor there. I’d had no intention of joining the track club, as I said before, but after seeing her run, whatever lingering regrets I had were gone.
 
It blew me away.
 
To look at it another way, it was seeing Senjougahara-senpai run that day that made me into the basketball player that I am today—it was easy to forget what had caused me to become so passionately devoted to basketball, but I’ll save that discussion of “you never know what event will become a turning point in your life” for another time.
 
You could say that I’m not really a shy person, but when it came to Senjougahara-senpai, I made it my policy to actively avoid coming in contact with her, so for her to seek me out on her own was so surprising as to strike me dumb. Add in her whole “storybook princess” demeanor, and I turned into a stuttering, stumbling idiot—so, suffice to say, on the day that Senjougahara-senpai (and her retinue) observed my basketball practice, I was not exactly doing my best.
 
“May we speak, Kanbaru-san?”
 
After practice, Senjougahara-senpai approached me—and while I didn’t exactly feel enticed by her invitation, my heart skipped a beat regardless.
 
Looking at her up close, it was hard to believe that a girl with such mature features was only a year older than myself.
 
“You’re as fast as the rumors say—so how about it? Do you have any interest in transferring to the track club? Why not spend your youth in friendly competition with me?”
 
… She was an impressively bold headhunter. By the way, the basketball team captain (a third-year) was also there at the time as Senjougahara-senpai (a second-year) tried to steal me from the team, but the captain acted as if it were none of her business and didn’t interrupt.
 
Just what were you hoping to find by examining the ball that closely, captain?
 
You can turn it over as many times as you want; you’re not going to find a hole.
 
I was disappointed in the team captain, but setting that aside, I was happy to receive the invitation—no matter the situation or the way that it was said, I would always be happy to receive praise for the legs that I was so proud of. It made my heart dance to be acknowledged.
 
That simplicity still has not changed.
 
I’ve always been an idiot when it came to this.
 
That said, it still didn’t mean that I was so stupid as to blindly be scouted just because someone praised me. I’m an idiot who can think. So I politely, but firmly, declined her invitation while trying to hint that she had been a bit rude, but without being so blatant as to damage her reputation or be rude myself.
 
“Better luck next time.”
 
Huh?
 
What is this memory?
 
Who is this cheeky little brat? Oh, it’s me.
 
Was I at the age where I reacted to authority with petulance? Or was I afraid that if I didn’t reject her firmly, she would wear away my resolve and convince me to join the track club? Either way, maybe that wasn’t the exact phrasing that I used (I would like to think so), but, even if so, I still rejected Senjougahara-senpai in a rude way.
 
“Oh my. You’re quite spirited, aren’t you? I’m becoming even more interested in you.”
 
Senjougahara-senpai replied in a cool and composed tone (looking back on it now, I can’t help but think, “Who the hell are you?”), but the retinue of club members assembled behind her looked to be trying to use their eyes to stab me through.
 
Oh man, I’m so dead.
 
The crowd of cronies looked ready to get physical with me, but Senjougahara-senpai smiled and held a hand out to stop them without looking, then said, “It’s okay. I like nothing more than to tame cute girls like this.”
 
Seriously, who the hell are you?
 
Perhaps my imagination is adding to the memory a bit, so maybe my memory of middle school second-year Senjougahara-senpai isn’t perfectly accurate, but the big picture of us having a stressful, if brief, interview as our first contact is certainly true.
 
“Have a pleasant day.”
 
And with those parting words, Senjougahara-senpai left.
 
Even in the face of my unfavorable and downright rude response, she remained elegant. She carried on that noble air from start to finish, and while those events did hurt me, I thought that it was for the best.
 
Even if I had to be rude to do it, it would be better to firmly reject her than to reply so mildly that she continued to hold out hopes for me—of course, having rejected one of the famous girls of the school, I suspected that I may have set myself up to have a difficult life as a middle school girl, but, well, even if I had tried to stay in her good favor, I would likely have bungled that too.
 
Come if you’re going to come; I’ll take you on.
 
That was the stance that I mentally took, and I was not disappointed.
 
But the one who came to find me in the gym the next day was not one or more of Senjougahara-senpai’s retinue come to put me in my place, but instead it was Senjougahara-senpai herself—without anyone else, just herself.
 
“Hello everyone. We are blessed with lovely weather today, aren’t we? May I observe your practice once again?”
 
The older girls in the basketball club began to murmur to each other—it sounded different from the reaction from the previous day, and I later learned that it was because Senjougahara-senpai very rarely went anywhere unaccompanied.
 
She didn’t choose to have people follow her around, but instead, it was more that she was the kind of person that people naturally gravitated to and followed—which meant that the only way she could arrive in the gym without at least a small group of followers was for her to have told them to leave her alone.
 
Why?
 
I told her “better luck next time,” so did she actually think that she should try again and hopefully have better luck on the second attempt? And she decided that coming on her own might be the factor that would convince me?
 
Several of the basketball team members volunteered to make Senjougahara-senpai more comfortable, and so she sat off to the side in a comfortable chair, partaking in the snacks she had been provided while watching us practice with a smile. Or rather, she watched me practice. I couldn’t read anything from her body language.
 
I had been welcomed into the basketball club with a good bit of fanfare because of my speed, so it wasn’t as if I had never been observed while playing before, but there was something about being watched so intensely that made it difficult to play. On that day, I missed an unusually high percentage of shots and even made a lot of simple mistakes with dribbling—the only thing that kept me from outright failing was the speed of my legs. But seeing as Senjougahara-senpai was there to see how fast I could be, she must have been happy with the display.
 
“Kanbaru-san. Have you reconsidered your response to my invitation?”
 
“No, I’m not having second thoughts…”
 
I didn’t go so far as to say I hadn’t thought about it at all.
 
It was difficult to be rude to someone who showed up two days in a row to express interest in you.
 
“Hm. Then how about this? You and I shall have a 100-meter race, and if I win, then you will transfer into the track club. Don’t you think it’s a wonderful idea?”
 
“… So if you lose, then you’ll join the basketball team?”
 
“Eh?”
 
She tilted her head in confusion.
 
No, don’t you “Eh?” me.
 
There’s no way that you don’t understand.
 
“No, I will not be doing that.”
 
She firmly rejected the idea.
 
“But it would mean that I will no longer come to the gym every day without fail.”
 
“You intend to come every day…”
 
I told her no.
 
I’m pretty sure that I tried to be less rude than the day before.
 
“Oh.”
 
Senjougahara-senpai seemed genuinely surprised by the response.
 
“How strange. Was I wrong about you?”
 
“About what?”
 
“Someone like you would be unable to back down when presented with a challenge.”
 
“…”
 
That assumption of hers—was correct.
 
But, even if that were the case, I couldn’t allow myself to race against anyone. Of course, if I accepted the challenge and won, then the whole issue would be settled. But if I were to lose… I didn’t want to think about what would happen.
 
Also, there was the question of whether Senjougahara-senpai would actually back down if I won against her in the race—so it would be all risk with no reward.
 
“No thanks.”
 
She simply said that she understood.
 
I fell silent, and Senjougahara-senpai left—but before she departed the gym, she cleaned up the snack wrappers and put away the chair that she had used while observing our practice. She did seem to have had a good upbringing.
 
I was happy if she understood that she wouldn’t be able to convince me to join her club, but, thinking about it more, Senjougahara-senpai hadn’t said what it was that she understood. The true meaning of her words was a mystery.
 
And the next day, that mystery was solved.
 
For the third time, Senjougahara Hitagi arrived in the gymnasium during the basketball team’s practice. But unlike the first and second visits, she was not wearing her school uniform, nor was she wearing the erotic—that is to say, stylish—uniform of the track club, but she instead wore one of our own basketball uniforms.
 
Her back bore the number 4.
 
Well, actually, the number was also on the front of her jersey, so I don’t suppose I needed to specify that it was on her back. Anyway, the point is that the #4 jersey belonged to the captain.
 
I looked back to confirm and found that, sure enough, our team captain was in the back of the gym wearing her P.E. uniform and polishing a basketball. I just polished that one. Why are you polishing it again? Just how shiny do you want that ball to be? It’ll slip out of our hands if you give it any more polish than that.
 
Apparently our team captain rented out her uniform, what you might call the symbol that our team followed, to Senjougahara-senpai when she asked for it. You could say that this was the instant when all of our captain’s authority vanished.
 
Once this whole thing was settled, there would be a coup d'état.
 
“If you will not compete with me on the track, then I will come to your field and compete with this basketball. Does this work for you?”
 
“Uh… huh…?”
 
To be entirely honest, I was mostly just feeling uneasy at that point in time, and I definitely didn’t want to accept her challenge. I didn’t want to, but what choice did I have when she had shown up a third time to try and convince me to join the track club?
 
She did, technically, ask for the “captain’s” permission before doing this (it pains me that I had to put quotation marks around captain, but that reflects the sad state of affairs at the time), and so half of the gym’s court was reserved for myself and Senjougahara-senpai to have our competition.
 
Our showdown.
 
Bout. Duel.
 
What actually followed was not as dramatic as the words used to describe it might suggest. It wasn’t instantly resolved, and there was definitely some tension during the competition, but it’s a bit difficult to have much drama when the competition is just a free throw contest. Our “captain,” or, I guess I should say, our captain, insisted that we have a competition where there was no risk of us coming into physical contact with each other. I was a new member on the team, and while Senjougahara-senpai was a veteran athlete, she was not a basketball player. So, to be on the safe side, it was decided that we could not have a true 1-on-1 match on the off chance that either of us should get injured.
 
Whoever made ten baskets first would win.
 
There were no handicaps, and the competition proceeded in a simple and straightforward manner—we took turns taking our shots, and after thirty minutes, it was all over.
 
The final score was ten to nine.
 
It was a close match—which Senjougahara-senpai won.
 
We both missed a number of shots, but we remained neck-and-neck throughout, until, in the end, Senjougahara-senpai managed to get the final basket.
 
“It was a good competition.” Senjougahara spoke, brushing aside her long, elegant hair. “Kanbaru-san, it seems that you are more suited for the basketball court than the track—I hope that you will continue to give it your best.”
 
She turned on her heel and left the gym.
 
I had already been thinking of some way to avoid taking part in races (such as by focusing on long jump or high jump) and had resigned myself to having to join the track club, so when Senjougahara-senpai simply departed, I was left dumbfounded for a moment.
 
But it was only a moment.
 
I hurriedly chased after Senjougahara-senpai—and I full-out sprinted, so I quickly caught up to her elegant walk, and I grabbed her wrist.
 
Grabbing someone by the wrist is a forceful way to stop them. One might say that it’s wild and violent, which is to say, it’s very me. Senjougahara-senpai turned to look at me with obvious suspicion, and perhaps she was letting her real self show through because her gaze was sharp.
 
Under that sharp gaze, I asked, “Was this your goal from the start?”
 
It was almost more like an interrogation than a simple question, which was also very like me.
 
“You wanted to compete with me, beat me, and then drop me?”
 
“… What do you mean? For what reason would I do such a thing?”
 
Senjougahara-senpai asked back seriously without any hint of evasion.
 
“To protect me,” I replied.
 
The outline was simple enough—there was no mistake that the original reason that she had come to the gym was to scout me for the track team after hearing rumors about me.
 
And she would surely have anticipated that there was a chance that I would say no to her invitation.
 
But what she did not anticipate was the super strength of my refusal—that is, my more-than-necessary, full-on rejection. And I had rejected her so rudely in front of all of her followers.
 
Senjougahara-senpai managed to keep things peaceful at that time, but, as they say, bad news travels fast. A newly enrolled first-year who dared to bare her teeth at the elegant and skilled Senjougahara Hitagi would be a rumor that reached every ear in record time, and when it did… my school life would have a very bleak outlook.
 
I had planned—which is to say, foolishly assumed—to deal with that problem when the time came, but Senjougahara-senpai had a way to prevent it from happening in the first place.
 
She was able to rein in the people who followed her directly, but she had no way of anticipating what others might do upon hearing the rumor—people are good on their own, but there’s plenty of bad to be found in a group. That was why Senjougahara-senpai needed to get ahead of the rumors and put an end to the story—and in a way that would let her be in the winning position. But it wasn’t just about her winning—she needed to win in such a way that it would be a close battle so as not to tarnish the reputation of the first-year rising star of the basketball team.
 
And so we had a free-throw contest.
 
… Thinking about it more, it had been strange for the team captain to just go along with whatever Senjougahara-senpai said, but then also be the one to decide on the rules for the contest in the way that she did… In other words, by having us take turns to do our free throws, they would be able to control the scores, and the two of them must have arranged the entire circumstance of our contest from the start, back whenever Senjougahara-senpai had gone to ask to borrow the uniform (which means I was completely wrong about the captain).
 
If I had accepted her challenge on the second day—which would have been the best for Senjougahara-senpai—she could have controlled her speed so as to put on a show of it being a close race between the two of us.
 
She must have a lot of confidence to have been so sure that she could “barely win in a neck-and-neck competition” in not only running on the track but also a free throw competition. That she was able to pull it off so cleanly, however, meant that I could not fault her for that confidence.
 
By clearly and definitively beating me and then, just as clearly and definitively, acknowledging my ability in a public space—which is to say, giving me permission to continue playing basketball—she would knock down the perceived conflict and defuse the situation with her fans who might have wished me harm.
 
“… Supposing that I had been thinking along those lines…”
 
Senjougahara-senpai spoke now in a flat, sober voice that was entirely unlike how she had been talking up until that point.
 
“Wouldn’t you be throwing away my consideration by confronting me and voicing your thoughts to me? Are you not undoing what I’ve just done?”
 
She was trying to tell me that I should follow her lead and subtly accept what she did for me. I let go of her wrist.
 
And then I took hold of her hand instead.
 
I did so gently.
 
I copied Senjougahara-senpai’s mannerisms of softness and kindness—she no doubt thought that I was trying to have a friendly parting handshake to show that there were no hard feelings, but instead I did something that was completely unexpected and kissed the back of her hand.
 
“W… What?!”
 
She practically screamed the word with surprise, and I straightened.
 
“No, I don’t think so.” I declared. “Because I have decided to accept your kindness and go far beyond what is necessary to repay it—Senjougahara-senpai.”
 
From now on, I am your dog.
 
That’s what I told her.
 
Senjougahara Hitagi and Kanbaru Suruga. The pair that would go on to be called the Valhalla Duo began here.
 
“Are you an idiot?”
 
I still think that those words and the cold smile that came with them were probably Senjougahara-senpai’s genuine, impartial reaction to what I had said.
 
 
As usual, thank you spr-o-ckt for contributing to this commission.
A cute little story. I wish we could see more of those that actually feels important rather than yet another pun-filled discussion about a random topic.
See you next time for another story !

Hey, guys, got a bit of free time, and wanted to just share some tips I've learned in my few years of screenwriting. I am not a professional screenwriter, but I think I've surpassed the absolute dogshit phase, and that's about where my authority ends, lol. Anyways, it's all just my opinion, but hopefully some of you guys find this helpful. A lot of it may be rehashed advice, but wanted to kinda put this into one thread. I'm sure there's some I missed, so maybe I'll save them for the next thread.
So, whenever people talk about action lines, opinions can get divided fairly quickly. And it's easy to see why. There are numerous ways to skin a cat, like Alien's short, choppy lines, or Shane Black's more narrative ones. Neither one is inherently better than the other, but they both accomplish a few things: they entertain, they inform us about characterization, they move the plot, and they keep the pace.
Action lines aren't simply an instructional manual for a director. You can write the most technically-proficient screenplay that has zero frill and is straight to the point all day long, but at the end of the day, we're writers. Style and flair show our own voices, and help inform actors as to the mindset of our characters. They can inform mannerisms, and set design, and lighting and direction. Style and flair as your "tone," and they are not unfilmable when done correctly.
I'll use an example from one of my own screenplays here. There is a line that is as follows:

Sounds of a ZOMBIE SNAPPING AND SNARLING. Spit sloshes around its mouth, a Pavlovian response to the scent of human flesh.

Not a great line by any means, but the unfilmable description of the Pavlovian response characterizes these zombies. It tells us that they don't just eat flesh; they crave it, it's in their DNA. We could easily remove the entire second sentence, and it would technically be correct, but it loses its voice. It would be a nothingburger line.
Another thing I find helpful is to manipulate sentence length and structure to inform tone. Read any great action script, and you'll notice that during fast-paced scenes, the dialogue is short. Sentences are fragmented. Read like bullet points. Efficient, and punctual. Lighter scenes are more flowy, sometimes having one, even two parathetical phrases. It's poetry, a bit more lustrous and narrative-like.
All that to say, when you're writing heavy action, use shorter lines and sentence fragments. Lots of periods.
Additionally, it's also important to consider not just the on-screen aesthetics, but the on-page aesthetics. Make your screenplay physically-pleasing to look at. Readers like whitespace. They like to be able to scan pages quickly and get a good grasp of pacing just off of looks alone. When possible, try to keep your action lines limited to 1-2 lines, and absolutely avoid orphans (single words on a new line) and widows (action lines being split onto multiple pages) when you can. If not for your readers, do it for yourself. When you learn to use whitespace properly, it helps you identify where your action lags and where your pacing is too quick for the scene.
On scenes, I personally like to bold my scene headings. This is all personal preference, but if you haven't tried it, I suggest you do so. It makes it very easy to do quick scans and see how long your scenes are. Can quickly scroll through a screenplay and realize that the scene that is 2 minutes in your head is 6 pages long. Make it easier on yourself, and train your eyes to scan for bold headings.
Scene length is also something to be cognizant of. There is no golden rule on how exactly long a scene "should" be. The advice is always to enter as late as possible, and leave as soon as possible. It's really great advice, but it doesn't mean there isn't room for scenes that are a bit longer. Just make sure it's only done when necessary, and you at least make it entertaining for the reader. No one wants 5 pages of boring dialogue.
Oh, and please don't CAPITALIZE every OTHER word. It REALLY makes it difficult to READ, and you lose all EMPHASIS on the things THAT MATTER and your SCREENPLAY will look like a DONALD TRUMP Tweet. Use capitalization sparingly so it packs the most punch. Except when you first introduce important characters and any with dialogue -- always capitalize them.
For a final brief tip, if you feel your action lines are becoming monotonous due to always starting with, "he X," "he Y," rearrange your words. It's okay to start a line with "Sitting down, X did Y." Help your reader not be bored.
P.S. I'll do two dialogues tip as well. If you struggle with getting exposition to come off well, have your characters doing something. Doubly-so if you can somehow relate what they're doing to the conversation (subtext and all that). Have them cleaning a gun, or trying to unclog a sink. Trust me, it makes it easier on the readers and the viewers.
Lastly, if you want your characters to sound natural, don't go to a coffee shop and listen to people talk. In real life, people never get to the point. They ramble and ramble and constantly change the subject. Screenplays need to be tight and succinct. Get to the point and get out of the scene. See above on leaving as early as feasible.

Hello! Background--I live in the States. I was reading by 3, was reading Narnia in kindergarten, am going into college as an English major, and have been diagnosed autistic since age 10. Words have been My Thing throughout my entire life. In my younger years, I was the one who went "actually, it's octopodes" whenever someone brought up those specific cephalopods.
The point is, I like words. I also like reading up on the rules and guidelines and what-have-you of English. Kiki/bouba, the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, wug. I easily solo all of my English teachers in the vocabulary department. However, there are always a few scragglers that annoy me. And there's one that I wholeheartedly despise. And those, agitating as they are, are contronyms.
Contronyms are words that have two (or more) contradictory meanings. Egregious, for example, can mean really really bad or really really good. Nonplussed can mean immensely confusing or completely understandable. Literally, although maybe not quite a contronym yet, is surely getting there.
Contronyms are the bane of my existence. I am all for the fluidity and elasticity of language. That is part of what makes it so great! But my patience has an end, and I draw the line at contronyms. They suck and I hate them. Thank you for your time.

My heart is incredibly heavy right now, but I refuse to shed tears about this. I would’ve never walked away regardless of what happened because I love you. So I suppose it’s for the best. I just think it’s crazy that something this stupid is where you draw the line. I could understand if it was what happened a couple of weeks ago, that would’ve been warranted. I was always the one apologizing. I was always the one taking the fault for everything but I’m not doing it this time. You clearly were just waiting for an excuse to walk which I can understand after it’s all said and done. That is fine. When people want to walk out of your life, you let them.
My only regret is that you never saw the real me, but it’s not something I had control over so I have to swallow that pill. You won’t even know what you lost because of that fact, but that can only sting for so long. I’ve let go of everything else in my life, what’s one more thing at this point? I’m not going to let this ruin me. I’ll sit beside my feelings tonight, sleep it off, and awake tomorrow and do what I do every day. Keep it moving. Maybe later down the road you’ll see it for what it really was and it will bring a smile to your face, maybe not. It’s really none of my business either way. May your path be filled with love and light. Happy trails my dear friend.

Here's everything you need to know about PayPal $PYPL. Investment case, innovations, valuations, risks, competition. Everything.
OVERVIEW OF INVESTMENT CASE
Firstly, $PYPL isn't JUST a cheap value play. I truly believe $PYPL has the potential to continue to be the biggest payment processor in the world.
In this thread I'll discuss: - Fastlane - Ads business - Xoom - Braintree - Branded checkout - Venmo - FCF & Buybacks
If 2-3 turn of the above turn out well, then the added value to $PYPL will be huge.
MARGIN ANALYSIS
I'm going to start by looking at one of the core focuses that I'm tracking as part of my $PYPL investment case - margins.
Margins have been getting destroyed over the last 3 years from EBIT margins up at 28.2% down to 13.3% in 2022. This was all because the high margin branded businesses were extremely weak compared to the unbranded and lower margin businesses.
I also attached a graph showing the net and gross margins on a quarterly basis since June '21. We saw a good margin inflection in the quarter ending Dec '23 but then we saw a continued margin contraction again in the most recent quarter.
Management have spoke about this a lot and are laser focused on cost cutting efficiencies and adding simplicity to the business by focusing only on the most profitable segments of the business.
They're not there yet, and this is a clear risk...but I do believe we will start to see a slow change in trend in early 2025 onwards.
FASTLANE
Guest checkout represents about 60% of all checkout transactions so this is a huge TAM. Fastlane is basically a single sign on guest checkout experience which Chriss first introduced during their innovation day back in January.
The aim is to reduce checkout time by 40% and increase conversion rate considerably. Beta testing is showing that they are doing this very well with RETURNING FASTLANE USERS CONVERTING AT ~80%.
For context, guest checkout conversion rates are normally 40%.
If merchants are able to essentially double their conversion rates because of Fastlane, this will have a significant impact on their revenue...and if merchants revenue increases...who benefits? $PYPL
Also this is a branded checkout option meaning much higher margins. Merchants will be willing to pay if the product is as good as early data in beta testing suggests.
Even more importantly, non-PayPal users are opting to use Fastlane at a 40% rate. This appears to be the best checkout experience in the market. 2024 is all about onboarding the best customers before the holiday season and 2025 is all about pricing the product to value.
VENMO
Venmo has so far been a huge disappointment especially considering the strength of the brand, the growth (8% annually), and the affluent customer base.
With $18 BILLION of MONTHLY inflows into Venmo...ONLY 20% OF THAT REMAINS WITHIN VENMO AFTER 10 DAYS.
The 60 million Venmo users see Venmo one way - as a way to send money to friends. And that's it. Alex Chriss and management are fully aware of this.
Venmo is a huge untapped asset. $PYPL have introduced a Venmo debit card and are in the process of trying to get users to use Venmo as more of an alternative bank rather than just a way of sending money to friends. Peer-to-peer payments don't make much money compared to if Venmo were to be used as a bank. In fact, debit card users generate 6x more revenue than peer-to-peer.
$PYPL want Venmo to be used basically as a debit card and alternative bank. To have direct debits going into the company. To tap to pay etc etc.
And this transition is definitely slowly happening...
Venmo debit card user base grew 21% YoY whilst peer-to-peer payments grew 17% meaning more money is gradually staying within the Venmo network. I do believe this will happen but it'll continue to be a slow process simply because there are tons of alternative banks and because Venmo for some time has just been used for the sole purpose of peer-to-peer purposes.
The good news is that the user base is HUGE and ACTIVE. With good incentives to keep money within the network this will gradually grow. Marketing emails are being sent out consistently but for now the incentives need to improve in my opinion.
What does Venmo have to offer over other alternative banks currently? Not much in my opinion. The shift will continue to be very slow unless the value proposition is improved.
Another quick note on the most recent Venmo news around transaction fees for payments of goods and services is increasing to 2.99%. This is good news...though some people don't understand why. Here's why:

1. Previously, fees on Venmo payments for goods and services was 1.9% + 10 cents. This was cheaper than $PYPL branded transaction processing which is 2.99%.
   
2. Therefore this brings the two in line to stop them competing against each other.
   
3. This won't contract Venmo volume because peer-to-peer is still free and is still the highest use case of Venmo by quite a lot. Venmo is not really used for merchants much at all.
   

Nevertheless, this is an untapped goldmine and if $PYPL can execute on this well over the next 2 years, then this is being massively ignored in the $PYPL valuation.
ADS BUSINESS
Now this is very exciting and I think it could be huge for $PYPL. $PYPL hired the Mark Grether who was the leader of the ads business at $UBER who took it to a $1 billion run rate in a pretty short time.
There's no reason $PYPL can't do this and do it even bigger. Here's why:
$PYPL has doubles-sided data. They know where shoppers are shopping and they know who is selling as they have tons of data on both. $PYPL have the ability to connect them and they'll receive a fee every time these ads are converted.
There's very few companies out there that have the amount of double-sided data that $PYPL does. This could be a huge business and a very high margin business.
"About a quarter of the worlds $6 trillion in digital commerce runs through PayPal each year. With nearly 400 million active accounts, and the scale of PayPal's transaction data, PayPal is uniquely positioned to shape a new era of commerce discovery, help merchants acquire new customers, and reengage existing ones." - Mark Grether
Grether is the man to do it as well. He's an absolute veteran in the advertising business. He has been the previous leaders of advertising at $AMZN and at $UBER
XOOM
Xoom is $PYPL's product that allows users to safely, and reliably send money abroad. It's not performed well at all and has shown pretty stagnant growth for a number of years now due to no prioritization from management.
This is all changing. They're using $PYUSD for FEE FREE TRANSFERS. They're becoming strict on the markets they work with. They've redone the interface.
I'm less focused on Xoom, but it's just another potential added catalyst to the investment case. I think management are far more focused elsewhere as well, but at least they are innovating here.
BRAINTREE
Braintree currently boasts around 10% market share and is growing at solid rates (~26% in the quarter). They’ve put a big focus into improving auth rates, uptime, and reliability and have created what Chriss deems to be the best in the market.
The issue with Braintree hasn’t been the product though - it’s been PYPL’s inability to price to value mainly because the merchants haven’t been painted a full picture of what Braintree actually offers on an end-to-end strategic roadmap.
Management are therefore putting a large focus on marketing and painting the full picture of the extremely good product that Braintree is. Merchants are slowly coming aboard as they find out about the offerings.
RISKS
$PYPL isn't a risk free investment by any stretch of the imagination and I think here on FinX it's a pretty even split between bulls and bears.
Bears say:

• The products are poor
• Active customer accounts is declining
• $PYPL is a value trap
• $PYPL has little to no growth
• There's too much competition

I say:

• The products WERE poor. The problem here is that all of the innovations are in extremely early stages aside form Fastlane and Venmo where there is actual data showing improving trends (80% conversion rates and growing debit card users). Of course, this is all early stage data and the risk here is that management has got the public overexcited about the actual potential of these products. It's true management (Alex Chriss - @acce) has done an incredible job at changing the sentiment around $PYPL. It was dire 6 months ago and now there is hope. For those that see his vision like I do, the risk is that we potentially are being too hopeful and acting too early. That's a risk, but I see his vision and I like what he's doing. I think the risk to reward is very strong.
  
• Active accounts are declining yes because branded checkout has been extremely weak compared to competitors. My answer is the same as above. $PYPL management are actively adding AI, password-less checkout experiences, and frictionless checkout. All of this should have happened 2-3 years ago but it didn't. Is it too late? Of course not.
  
• $PYPL is not a value trap. $PYPL is a dirt cheap quality company currently being valued at basically 0% growth because the sentiment around the stock was that bad.
  
• $PYPL is not growing as much as it used to no. But the last year has seen revenue growth creep up towards double digits again. 7.1% growth 8.4% 8.7% 9.4% guidance in the double digits. To value $PYPL at pretty much 0% growth is insane.
  
• Yes there has been growing competition but $PYPL still has the largest customer base in the world, and still is the number 1 player in branded checkout. 1/4 of the world's digital commerce transactions runs through $PYPL. People underestimate just how big $PYPL are. It's crazy.
  

BUYBACKS
There's been questions surrounding whether $PYPL would pay dividends but Chriss said maybe at a later data as the focus is currently all on buybacks of "at least $5 billion" which represents more than 100% of PayPal's FCF.
To me, it's quite clear they'll do way more buybacks than $5 billion. Here's why:
Quite recently, $PYPL announced an offering for a senior unconverted loan note of $1.25 billion. This is NOT because $PYPL are running out of money. They're generated at least $5 billion in FCF annually (Most likely in the mid $6 billion range).
It's also likely not for any acquisitions as Chriss has said they are focused on trimming and efficiency rather than adding any complexities at the moment.
Therefore, the most likely use care of this debt will be to refinance some 2024 maturing debt meaning they won't have to use FCF and existing cash on this. This will leave them will all their FCF and existing cash to fuel buybacks.
This is of course my best guess, but to me it seems pretty likely. All in all, this suggests much greater than $5 billion in buybacks. I hope so.
ANALYSTS
We haven't seen a whole lot of movement in analysts price predictions for $PYPL until recently when Dolev (Mizuho) upgraded $PYPL PT to $90. This is the first of many.
Dolev wasn't too bothered by the $PYPL Fastlane product until recently when he said that:
The 80% checkout conversion for returning customers is a lift of "$1.0-1.5 billion in transaction margin dollar (5-10% upside) over the medium term given the $1.43 trillion of annual e-commerce spend that we believe is addressable by Fastlane."
This PT uplift is mainly centered around Fastlane. Wait until we start to see some success and data around Venmo, ads, Xoom, and Braintree.
OWNERSHIP
Insiders, super-investors, and institutions have been buying up $PYPL consistently.
Paul Tudor Jones recently sold 78% of his $NVDA position and for $57 million worth of $PYPL.
Jim Simon also sold 66% of $NVDA and bought 2.1 million in $PYPL.
Cathie Woods has also been a recent buyer of $PYPL. Now I don't celebrate Cathie owning $PYPL and it doesn't mean much to me, but she's a high profile name and this does get eyeballs on the company that is well needed.
VALUATION
From a valuation perspective, $PYPL is dirt cheap. The company has a 5-yr revenue CAGR of 13.87% and earnings CAGR of 14.4%.
Despite that, it trades at a multiple of 2x EV/Sales and 14.9x non-GAAP forward earnings (vs 6.5x and 32.7x respectively 5 year averages).
Of course, the low multiples suggest the market is worried about the lack of long-term growth but as I've tried to outline in this thread, the amount of growth potential is pretty huge, even if only 2-3 of the innovations actually are successful.
Original Post / Credit: https://x.com/MMMTwealth/status/1798760724271124863?t=5r-arVtCeXxXKpmcos3CMg&s=19

If a model is directly behind a building, like up against it, a siege weapon with volley fire takes an in the way for hitting the house IMO and I believe that's how the game works. The first rule in tye book is you have to use a degree of common sense and drawing an arching line that's an in the way if directly behind a building or tree etc that a stone or rock would hit.

I'm 24 I got my permit at 21 to learn to drive, and drove a few times but since then quit until recently when I had to renew my permit. It sucks not having thr confidence or the skills and I'm honestly embarrassed. All my friends know how to drive. I'm at the point I've learned all that I can in parking lots and side streets but am terrified to drive on the road. There's so many things to lay attention to all at once and I'm afraid if I look away in my mirrors for just a second, I won't have the reaction time for whatever is a head of me. I dont want to make a mistake or hurt myself or others. It's all alot to remember and very overwhelming. Making sure I'm driving in a straight line, not over correcting, other drivers getting mad at me because I'm inexperienced... Most of the time I'm scared to go over 25mph because I feel I have less control over the vehicle and its faster than any skills I have. I need to learn and get it over with but I'm unsure how..

^{This review appeared originally on the documentary megathread after the SXSW premiere in March of 2024. It has been posted separately to make room in that thread for updated screening info. Posting date/time is coinciding with the first premiere (in Guadalajara, Mexico} of the documentary outside of SXSW.)
This documentary does a great job of letting us know right at the beginning that it's not just going to be a straight line through the recording of 2021's As The Love Continues and performing it at Royal Concert Hall in 2021. Roping in producers and crew from the beginning of Mogwai's formation and through Mogwai Young Team and Come On Die Young, the documentary paints the picture of how As The Love Continues was even possible to do remotely because of those cornerstones during the band's formative years.
The film takes us through the creation of several Mogwai songs as well, and not just from As The Love Continues. The beauty of this film lies in the heart of why the band keep doing what they do: for the music. For the fans. For the emotions that can only be expressed through their music. Terrible heartache, immense joy, pensive reflections, and shirt-shredding guitars. That's Mogwai.
Antony Crook and co. have done not just a brilliant job of making a film about Glasgow's finest musicians, but also illuminating to the rest of the world just how the culture of Scotland and its rich history and unique outlook have shaped not only Mogwai's experiences, but our own through their music.
The film does show us how As The Love Continues was "made" and does a good job of sprinkling it throughout the film, reminding us that their #1 album wouldn't have been possible if not for the hard work during the decades prior to it. It can't be stated enough just how much the world that so desperately yearned for light at the end of the COVID tunnel hung onto it and helped to catapult it into something entirely different.
Funny, because this documentary has a similar vibe that when it started it perhaps was meant to be a linear journey, but along the path of life we all discover there are many nonlinear chapters that we are forced into (like COVID), and sometimes those paths have results that are catastrophic.
The stories from this film are not just those from the band, but from those who have helped guide the band over the years as well as many who have been influenced by their music, while sometimes illuminating those intersecting paths.
There's something in this film for everyone - those who have yet to discover Mogwai, those who have been a casual fan for a period of time, and those who have been hardcore fans for any period of time.
___________
I can't wait for you to see this film, and I promise to update about its journey to you. The world deserves this documentary in the biggest way possible and with some LOUD speakers.
Special thanks to Barry, Antony, Kyrie, Serena, Lauren, Stuart, Martin, Dominic, Kenny, and Kevin.

I have always been drawing from a non display cheap Huion tablet for about 4 years now and I am comfortable with the hand eye co ordination, but ive always wanted a Wacom Tablet or most importantly Expirience the Pro Pen lineup. I recently got some money and my budget is around 350$ Usd and that offers me a good 16 inch Huion kamvas 2021 or i can go wacom route with Intuos pro m which comes exactly at that price.
Now the main problem is I have never tried to draw on a screen and have no idea how much that would help me with line that i constantly redo with my non display tablet Nor have i ever touched any wacom tablets to know much about how much superior their pens are in terms of sensitivity and line accuracy as i keep hearing.
i would love to hear opinions of people who have tried both or even if you havent you can vouch for what you currently use. THANKS!!

Sorry for not getting a list done last week. I was under the weather (literally and figuratively.) Happy to be back to normal this week.
As always, feel free to add events I may have missed in the comments (with links.) Feedback about events you've attended or plan to attend is always helpful and welcome.

Things to Do June 10-16

*Free (or no admission/cover)
--Recurring Event
Noteworthy:
The Dallas Mavericks continue their quest to win the NBA Championship with games 3 and 4 this week.
This week is Dallas Tiki Week.
Father’s Day is this Sunday, June 16.
Juneteenth is next Wednesday, June 19, and celebrations begin this week.
Dallas Pride events continue throughout the month of June.
Weekend & Multi-Day Events
June 9-12 Run Lola Run 25th Anniversary 4K Restoration at Violet Crown
*June 11-13 4th Annual North Texas Black Tech Symposium at Virtual/Online
June 11-16 Frisco Roughriders vs. Amarillo Sod Poodles at Riders Field, Frisco
June 13-16 Premier SuperCopa at Moneygram Soccer Park
June 13-16 Juneteenth Unity Weekend Celebration at Crowne Plaza Dallas (and other locations)
June 13-29 Pegasus Theatre: Big Mouth Thunder Thighs at the Bathhouse Cultural Center
Through June 23 Kitchen Dog Theater Love And Vinyl at Good Records
*Through June 28 Central Library Staff Art Exhibit at Dallas Public Library Central Branch
Monday, June 10
Women in the Environment Presents Sustainability at the Dallas Zoo
*Book Club: The Matrix at Interabang Books
*--Open Mic Monday at The Wine Therapist
*Sweatworking Week - HIIT with Cowboys Fit at Main Street Garden Park
*--Social Run by Braindead Running at Westlake Brewing
Jess Williamson with special guest Rattlesnake Milk at The Kessler
Kizomba Semba Class & Prática at 2155 Ballroom & Events, Carrollton
Silversun Pickups at House of Blues
Celeste Barber: Backup Dancer at the Majestic Theatre
The Shake Up at the Limbo Room at Ruins
Tuesday, June 11
*Dallas Mavericks Pep Rally at Klyde Warren Park
Pride Series: My Own Private Idaho at Angelika Dallas
Noah Kahan: We'll All Be Here Forever Tour at Dos Equis Pavilion at Fair Park
*Beginners Dungeons and Dragons at Skyline Branch Library
*Mindful Fusion Dance Class at J. Erik Jonsson Central Library
*DFW Bookmakers:Art Journal Cover w/ Scrapbook Collage at Bachman Lake Branch Library
*Spanish Class at White Rock Hills Branch Library
*Deep Ellum Spelling Bee at Three Links
*--Free Rooftop Movie: Bridesmaids at Sundown at Granada
*--Wellness Series - Sound Bath Meditation at Sammons Park
Wednesday, June 12
Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 3 at American Airlines Center
*Spanish Learners Conversation Table at Park Forest Branch Library
*The Writers Meetup at Oak Lawn Branch Library
*Musical Theatre Workshop at Lakewood Branch Library
*Book Club: "In Pieces A Memoir" by Sally Field at North Oak Cliff Branch Library
*--Inner Moonlight Poetry Series at The Wild Detectives
*Line Dancing at the Latino Cultural Center\
*--Salsa Night at Vidorra Dallas
*--Swingin’ at the Sons at Sons of Hermann Hall
*==Improv Jam at Dallas Comedy Club
San Fermin at Deep Ellum Art Co.
Todd Rundgren: ME/WE 2024 tour at the Majestic Theatre
Thursday, June 13
Dallas Wings vs. Seattle Storm at College Park Center, Arlington
*An Evening with Ms. Opal Lee at Skyline Branch Library
*African Textiles Workshop with Renee Michea'l Jones at Fretz Park Branch Library
Flipside at Texas Theatre
*Book Discussion & Signing - A Botanist's Guide to Society and Secrets at Interabang Books
Book Launch + Signing with Joel McDonald at The Wild Detectives
*Erin Little & Sebastián Paramo in Conversation at Deep Vellum Books
--Thursdays on Tap at the Perot Museum
*The Sugar Cane Cheat Sheet Rum Tasting at Apothecary
Live Jazz Night at Babou's at Hôtel Swexan
*--Karaoke Thursdays at Dallas Comedy Club
Lathe Of Heaven / Semantix / Perdidos at The Double Wide
Com Truise (dj set) at It'll Do Club
*--Vitruvian Nights Live featuring The Spazmatics at Vitruvian Park, Addison
*Farmers and Crafts Market at the Downtown Green, Rowlett
Game Night at Meow Wolf, Grapevine
Friday, June 14
Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 4 at American Airlines Center
Dallas Jackals vs. Old Glory DC at Choctaw Stadium, Arlington$5 Fridays at Galleria Ice Skating Rink
Alanis Morissette - The Triple Moon Tour at Dos Equis Pavilion at Fair Park
Backyard Show: An Evening With Grant-Lee Phillips at The Wild Detectives
Arts and Letters Live: Doris Kearns Goodwin at Moody Performance Hall
Dallas Tiki Week Entertainment Extravaganza at Sons of Hermann Hall
The Black Sugar Comedy Show at Dallas Comedy Club
The Dead Thing at Poor David's Pub
*Summer Fridays with Live Music at The Rustic
*Landon Talley at Vector Brewing
Jack Ingram presented by Garland Cultural Arts at Plaza Theatre, Garland
Ricki Derek at Rayleigh Underground, (Las Colinas) Irving
*Sounds of Summer: Even it Up at Grandscape
*Seratones w/ Patrick Pombuena Community Orchestra at Levitt Pavilion, Arlington
Sister Hazel at Billy Bob’s, Fort Worth
Saturday, June 15
FC Dallas' Ya'll Means All Night at Toyota Stadium
Dallas Wings vs. Connecticut Suns at College Park Center
*Juneteenth Festival of Service at the Automobile Building at Fair Park
*Juneteenth 4K Freedom Walk & Festival at Martin Luther King, Jr. Community Center
*Juneteenth Celebration at Juanita Craft, M. L. King Jr, Hiawatha Williams & Nash-Davis Rec Centers
*Juneteenth Celebration at Forest Green Branch Library
*Juneteenth Concert with musical guest, Kamica King at Pleasant Grove Branch Library
*Amor Eterno - Concert and Festival at the Latino Cultural Center
Legacy's Pride Variety Show at The Rose Room
*True Crime Mini-Convention at J. Erik Jonsson Central Library
*Gardening in Small Spaces at Preston Royal Branch Library
*Fairy Gardens at the Lochwood Branch Library
*7th Anniversary Party at Interabang Books
*Open Studio: Found Poetry at the Dallas Museum of Art
*--Group (Bicycle) Ride at Community Beer Co
*4th Birthday Party on the Patio at Another Round
Soul Flower Music Fest at Pacific Plaza
Office Space at Texas Theatre
Black Boys Cry at Bishop Arts Center Theatre
*LOVER Taylor Swift Tribute at Community Beer Co.
Grace Pettis + Robby Hecht at Opening Bell Coffee
Prime Nightcult Presents: Tape B and Friends at Longhorn Ballroom
The Dinner Detective Comedy Mystery Dinner Show at Hilton Garden Inn Downtown
*Cars and Coffee at Garages of America, Frisco
Sunday, June 16
Father’s Day Skate at Southern Skates Roller Rink
*Human Library: Juneteenth Across Generations at Bachman Lake Branch Library
Roger Corman Tribute- The Tomb of Ligeia on 35MM at Texas Theatre
Drawing from the Masters at the Meadows Museum at SMU
Mayahuel Ballet Folklorico 15th Anniversary at the Majestic Theatre
Ari Matti at Hyena’s Dallas
Clan of Xymox with Curse Mackey and SINE at Granada Theater
Swim with Mermaid Victoria at The Stoneleigh Pool
*Branoofunck at Armoury DE
40th Anniversary Emerald City Band Concert at the Dallas Arboretum

My (23M) friends and I went to a club last night and got a rude reminder that it might not be the best place for us as kinda nerdy guys from the upper middle class suburbs. Pretty much straight out the gate, I walk up to the counter and said excuse me to a guy who was standing there talking to a couple girls, trying to get around him. He barely turns his head and says “no you watch out bruh” and doesn’t move an inch. I then get a tap on my shoulder and another dude who’s decked out in a gold chain and a shirt two sizes too small says “yo who you here with?” And when I didn’t say anything because I was confused about what he meant he said “did you not see all the people waiting in line” and gestures to the loose general crowd near the counter that did not seem to be in any kind of line. I said “it didn’t look like there was a line” and he starts getting very mocking and sarcastic like “there’s a certain order to things my guy. You can’t just cut to the front because you want to”. At this point the first guy hears this and turns back around and says “that’s what I’m saying bro, dude thinks he’s a fucking VIP”. I got angry that they were getting so bent out of shape and personal when it seriously didn’t even look like there was a line waiting and it was just for a drink, but I realized that fighting two buff dudes over a spot in line would be very stupid so I just ignored them and started talking to someone else.
A little later, the same dude who tapped on my shoulder is hitting on my friend’s gf, and buys her a drink. He’s got his arm around her back and is whispering in her ear, and my buddy was furious but wasn’t doing anything. It just struck me as very wrong and like it should’ve been dealt with quickly. Hell, I even contemplated saying something but I held back because she wasn’t my girlfriend and I felt like it was my friend’s place to do that. However, he didn’t do anything and just watched this take place for a solid 3 or 4 minutes.
So what I’m asking here is, was there a more assertive way that I or my friend could’ve dealt with our respective problems?

Just happened… Made it all the way to the final, 1 game a piece, up 3-1 in the rubber match, :30 seconds left. We had scratched and clawed our way through games and finally felt like it was in the bag. I’ve gotten 2nd a few times but I’ve never been able to get 1st. It was my greatest Rocket League moment.
Then my controller dies. My second controller, dead. Can’t find a cable to plug in. I’m scrambling. My car is somehow still moving on the screen in a straight line but I have no controller.
Meanwhile my teammate, who insisted on staying in goal basically the whole damn game, even when playing behind with the ball on offense - essentially leaving me on my own on offense - was giving up goals left and right.
From 3-1, :30 seconds left, now at 3-3 with :5 seconds left. I had my controller on the charger for maybe 10 seconds, pull it off, try turning it on, it’s on! But oh yeah - on Xbox, when you reconnect or connect a new controller, only half the buttons work and directions are reversed. I scramble to try logging out and back in (the only way I’ve found to get the new controller working right)… but it was too late.
4-3, zeros on the clock, and my teammate let in the 3rd goal in the final :30 seconds. 2nd place. From my greatest Rocket League moment, to my most crushing loss ever in a matter of seconds.
Now I’ll stand up and be the first to take blame, my controller died, it should have been charged. It’s just so frustrating that we didn’t lose because of bad play - I could handle that. But an equipment malfunction, brutal.
But… I also didn’t give up 3 goals in under :30 seconds. And remember, this teammate was so dead set on playing defense that they wouldn’t even leave the goal when the ball was immediately in front of the opposing goal.
I’m mad. But I’m not sure what, or who, to be mad at. It’s a maddening game and I feel like I get paired up with players like my teammate at least 60% of the time: goal sitters.
Now I’m not saying don’t play defense ever. When the ball is on the defensive side, absolutely get in that goal and defend. But when your teammate clears the ball into the offensive zone and is setting it up, come and get it! Especially if I’m chatting “Centering”, “Passing”, “Take the shot!” as I’m setting the ball up in front of the net over and over all game. Take the hint!
So… if you have this strategy of goal sitting in 2v2 (3v3 is different), please make yourself known in the comments and explain yourself. What makes you think this is a good strategy?
On the other hand, if you’re frustrated with goal sitters too, drop an F and let’s team up sometime.

If you routinely watch even a little bit of starting pitching, you get a sense of how well the pitcher is pitching, as well as how much his outcomes are matching the quality of pitching. Gibby was relatively punished against the A’s last year, while Grayson got away with some hard contact against the Rays last year.
I took a slightly different approach this time to see how much of the outcomes was deserved. I tried to identify punishable mistake pitches [A, 4.5 total], waste pitches [B, 6 total], lucky batted balls [C, 1 total], blown strike/ball calls [D, 4 total].
tl;dr I’m pleased to report Bradish fully earned that performance yesterday, and with the exception of one ball smoked foul, he didn’t get lucky on much. If anything, he lost a couple of called strikes. His fastball command was only okay, but he had command of both his breaking balls, which are his best pitches anyway.
Aside: I’d like to know more about how he’s evolved this year as a pitcher. Small sample size caveat, but his strikeout rate appears to be way outperforming his whiff and chase rates, and I think that’s in large part to the number of called strikes up in the zone with his sinker (cc u/ottervbismarck for this comment).
My pet theory is that opposing batters know he has two quite good breaking balls, so they lay off on two-strike counts. Bradish’s sinker is kind of an odd duck; it has above average velocity but has unremarkable shape (13” IVB, 10” HB) as either a generic fastball or a sinker. I wonder if the visual assessment (Trevor May has talked on Rates & Barrels 2/16/24 about the importance of visual assessment in messing with the batter) of a 6’3” pitcher throwing from over the top makes them think the pitch is going to ride above the strike zone, but it only has 13 vert, so then it dumps right in the zone. Between that and being primed for a two-strike breaking ball, it seems like batters are currently frozen. I expect batters to start swinging at the pitch, which should hopefully allow Bradish to do the late 2022 early 2023 thing of throwing a shit ton of sliders and curveballs. In yesterday’s game, his fastball command was only okay, so he leaned on the breakers anyway.
B1st
RHH Yandy Díaz
0-0 93.5 mph sinker middle middle foul - bad pitch location imo [A1]
0-1 94.6 another sinker, better location middle inside, just bad luck with Díaz slamming the ball into the dirt and ending up in no man’s land with Westburg playing back. Infield single for Díaz.
LHH Brandon Lowe
0-0 curveball bottom of the strike zone foul, not bad
0-1 4SF waste pitch upstairs [B1]
1-1 backdoor slider called strike
1-2 curveball below the zone, Lowe gets a piece of it, foul
1-2 slider clips the bottom inside corner of the zone, kind of annoying that Adley bails on it, but it happens [D1]
2-2 sinker at the top of the zone, CS3 - I have noticed that Bradish juices his two strike pitches, especially early in the game; he did that against the Nats to get out of the early inning jam(s). I think the evidence on this being helpful is mixed. But Lowe freezes and Bradish wins the at-bat.
RHH Randy Arozarena
0-0 90.4 (!) mph fastball middle middle, honestly surprised Arozarena didn't jump all over this, but instead he just fouls it off. Bad location [A2]. Must've slipped because the next couple four-seamers he throws are mid-90s (as usual).
0-1 sinker down and away whiff. Nice pitch.
0-2 96.6 mph sinker a little above the zone, nice take by Arozarena.
1-2 another sinker misses, this time down and away. Not a waste pitch, but probably a ball out of the hand.
2-2 sinker at the middle bottom of the zone, fouls it off. Fine pitch location, probably hunting for a double play.
2-2 curveball in the dirt, ball. It looks like a waste pitch, but I've seen him get a ton of whiffs on it.
3-2 center cut sinker, it's 97.3 mph, not amazing location, but I don't think it's a genuine mistake. Yandy Díaz must've gotten a good jump because he's at second in an instant. Gunnar fires to first for the sure out.
RHH Isaac Paredes
0-0 slider waste pitch well outside [B2]
1-0 another slider, a little closer, still take
2-0 95.5 mph 4SF clips the zone up and away, called strike
2-1 belt high sinker that Paredes jumps all over, probably hit it ~350 feet down the line, but well foul. Yikes [C1]
2-2 97.0 mph 4SF up and away, popped up to Mounty. I don't know hitting well enough to know for sure, but I like the adjustment here. Paredes is a known puller, so one pitch after a sinker (arm-side run) middle-up, he throws a cut fastball (glove-side run) up and away. Rutschman sets up middle-away, so I think this was part of the play call. I can visualize the end of the bat (instead of the barrel) getting under the fastball instead of the ball running into the barrel on the sinker. I’d love for any actual Ball Knowers here to chime in.
B2nd
LHH Josh Lowe
0-0 92.3 (!) mph 4SF well above the strike zone [B3].
1-0 92.5 (!) mph 4SF, nicely located middle away, Lowe whiffs. It seems like he has a known hole in his swing along the outer third, because I’ve seen Grayson Rodriguez get whiffs on his (substantially better) 4SF in the same location.
1-1 really nice curveball. Palmer talks all the time about selling secondaries as strike-to-ball. Here is the curve a moment before it reaches the plate. Here is where it finished per Statcast. Neat trick, right? Lowe chases, pops it up.
RHH Jose Siri
0-0 94.4 mph 4SF clips the top of the strike zone, but Adley very clearly sets up down and away, no call [D2]
1-0 Adley sets up in the same, this time a 94.0 mph sinker clips the inside of the zone, called strike
1-1 middle-middle setup, 96.0 mph sinker, clips the inside of the zone again, no call [D3].
2-1 sinker middle down, called strike.
2-2 slider ball out of the hand [B4].
3-2 middle-middle setup, clips inside of the zone. Fool me three times. CS3.
LHH Taylor Walls
0-0 4SF freezes him at the top of the zone, called strike
0-1 Adley sets up middle-away, slider probably could stand to be down, but it's inside enough that Walls pop it up.
B3rd
LHH Richie Palacios
0-0 curveball clips the bottom of the zone, ump won't give it to him [D4].
1-0 slider down and in, good take.
2-0 sinker clips bottom of the zone, called strike.
2-1 hanging slider, but Palacios smashes it into the ground, easy out for Bradish to convert [A3].
RHH Alex Jackson
0-0 sinker middle away called strike
0-1 pulls a sinker just a little
1-1 pulls another sinker. Again, close miss.
2-1 93.9 mph 4SF at the top of the zone whiff. This is a good opportunity to point out that Bradish's cut/ride fastball was graded at a 55 (MLB) and 60 (FG). Its shape has proven to be problematic, but even suboptimal shape can get whiffs at the top of the zone or above, but I've never found that batters will chase Bradish's 4SF above the zone.
2-2 4SF away foul
2-2 sinker in, foul
2-2 slider bounces way out [B5], Bradish is ticked off
3-2 4SF down and away fouled
3-2 sinker runs down and in, foul. Jackson is really battling here, Bradish is putting these pitches corner to corner, but Jackson is covering the plate.
3-2 slider down and away - THAT is a nice play call and perfect execution. Eight out of nine pitches in this AB were fastballs, the only non-fastball he threw was a waste pitch well out of the zone, i.e., Jackson is timed up for mid-90s fastballs. Bradish's slider has a lot of sweep for one that's thrown in the upper-80s, and that pitch looked like it was going to be on the outside corner until it took a huge left turn.
RHH Yandy Díaz
0-0 nice sinker location down and in corner, easy grounder to Gunnar.
B4th
LHH Brandon Lowe
0-0 4SF above the zone, take for a ball. There have now been half a dozen four-seamers thrown in the low-90s, and I can't tell if that's by design, trying to make it more of the breaking ball-style cutter, or if he's just not gripping it well. The sinker velo by comparison is normal, maybe even a little up.
1-0 curveball hangs a little but is on the outside, so Lowe chops it to Bradish, who fields it himself.
RHH Randy Arozarena
0-0 sinker down and in fouls into himself. He's really doing well to dot the corners.
0-1 that's cute. Slider up and away called strike. I'm of the opinion that most high breaking balls are mistake pitches, but most batters are surprised and either can't fire (like Arozarena here), or aren't expecting the location so they swing under it.
0-2 curveball down and in, can't check his swing, nice. Looks like a true 12-6 curveball. It's such an exaggerated over the top arm slot, check out the tracer on the replay.
RHH Isaac Paredes
0-0 4SF outside corner, called strike.
0-1 4SF, a little too much outside, ball.
1-1 sinker up in the zone, check swing foul.
1-2 curveball just below the zone, good take.
2-2 slider hangs a little but it's well out of the zone, Paredes pop it up to Adley.
B5th
LHH Josh Lowe
0-0 little lollipop curve dumps it middle middle for a called strike. Arguably [A4], let's say [A3.5].
0-1 4SF misses inside, ball.
1-1 4SF top of the zone whiff. Another use of the four-seamer at the top of the zone.
1-2 slider middle-in foul.
1-2 sinker middle-in foul.
1-2 backfoot slider, a little too low.
2-2 same pitch, just a little too high, foul.
2-2 4SF misses up and away.
3-2 "backdoor" slider, as Brian Roberts calls it, for a whiff. Looks middle-middle to me, but Lowe swings through, must've expected a fastball on a full count. Between this and the 0-0 pitch, let's call it [A4]. I think Bradish knows it wasn’t a great location because he shakes his head as he walks around the mound.
RHH Jose Siri
0-0 slider in the dirt, probably a ball out of the hand for most, but Siri swings at it and misses.
0-1 doubles up on the slider, right on the outside, but leaves it a little up, Siri fouls it off.
0-2 slider in the dirt way way down [B6]
1-2 slider well outside, not quite a waste pitch but close.
2-2 sinker down and in, misses a little. Bradish seems annoyed with it.
3-2 backup slider clips the inside corner, slick for a CS3. Brian Roberts points out, it’s where Adley sets up.
LHH Taylor Walls
0-0 curveball down and in for a whiff. I captured a replay because 1. It’s a good curveball, would’ve been a strike even if Walls didn’t swing at it, 2. He’s so out in front he misses the ball by what looks like a quarter of the strike zone (I tried really hard to isolate the frame but couldn’t get it). This is only the third pitch Walls has seen today, and it’s the first curveball.
0-1 slider down, take for a ball.
1-1 4SF bottom corner for a called strike. Wonder if Walls laid off this pitch right after two straight breaking balls in that area.
1-2 sinker up and in, just a little too high, good take by Walls.
2-2 And then another curveball in the dirt for a whiff. This is perfect stuff: strike one on a curveball down and in whiff, strike two on a 4SF placed in the same location, strike three on a curveball just a little lower.
B6th
LHH Richie Palacios
0-0 slider down and in, goes fishing for a whiff.
0-1 backdoor slider, Palacios fouls this right into Adley’s McNuggets®, or rather, his “inner thigh” as Roberts says. “Just another bruise for a catcher.”
0-2 sprays a curveball away, but Palacios chases it and fouls it off.
0-2 another slider below the zone, another whiff. Kind of funny Roberts calls it a cutter. I can kind of see where he’s coming from, it’s a high-80s breaking ball, but it has 11.3 inches of sweep according to Alex Chamberlain’s Pitch Leaderboard v6.
RHH Alex Jackson
0-0 yanks a 4SF down and away for a ball.
1-0 Jackson can’t pull the trigger on an elevated four-seamer, but it’s called strike anyway.
1-1 slider away, whiff.
1-2 slider down and away, for another whiff. Really good breaking ball command.
RHH Yandy Díaz
0-0 sinker misses low, ball.
1-0 pipes an 86.2 mph slider middle-middle for a called strike, let’s call it [A4.5]
1-1 sinker low, pretty miffed with his fastball command.
2-1 sinker near the bottom of the zone, Yandy pounds it into the ground, Gunnar fields the tough hop and fires to first.

First Previous
It would have taken four hours to reach the East Gate flying through the void, but the jumpdrive got them there in just over a minute. It took another minute to speak with the Enterprise and get docking clearance, and a third minute to land inside the Federation flagship. Three minutes. Yvian spent the time watching Federation ships pour into the sector.
The humans were pulling out all the stops. Cruisers and Destroyers swarmed into the sector, forming the core of strike wings ten thousand strong. Frigates acted as escorts, and carriers launched wave after wave of lethal Gladiator class fighters. Klusters were still appearing here and there, but the human ships left them for the Peacekeeper Queens to deal with, too focused on organizing their invasion to bother with stragglers. Three minutes, and over a thousand strike wings were already making their way towards Aldara. A similar number of human ships were spreading out from the other three Gates, eager to scour the Klaath from their home system.
The Random Encounter set down in one of the Enterprise's smaller docking bays. Yvian noticed it was the only bay that was empty. A trio of gladiators floated nearby, no doubt evicted to make room for Mims' ship. The moment the Encounter set down, Mims repressurized the ship. Then he stood and walked briskly off the bridge.
Yvian and the rest of the crew followed. She thought they'd go straight to the cargo bay, but the Captain had them stop at the armory first. He handed out BR24 Plasma Rifles and Nanoblade Katanas without a word. Then they all marched down to the bay.
Mims activated the door control. The cargo bay door raised. The ramp lowered. The Enterprise's docking bay came into view. A large door leading into the flagship had just finished opening, and a frightening number of armored humans were flooding into the docking bay, weapons drawn. Yvian put a hand on her rifle, but stopped short of drawing it. Captain Mims walked casually up to the ramp, looking down at the other humans with his hands clasped behind his back.
The humans took up positions all around the Encounter. Yvian tried to count them all, but gave up and estimated there were about a hundred of them. After nearly a minute of running around with their guns out, the soldiers formed up in neat lines, rifles held diagonally across their chests. They formed a corridor between the Encounter and the docking bay door.
Three more figures entered the bay. A tall man, a short man, and a woman of medium height. Like the other soldiers, these three wore white armor, and the visors of their helmets were gold. Like the other soldiers, these three were armed with plasma rifles, blaster pistols, and swords that looked an awful lot like the one Mims had given to Yvian. Unlike the other soldiers, these three kept their weapons in their sheaths.
The three came to the bottom of the Encounter's ramp. They stopped. The tall man in the middle spoke with a booming voice. "Permission to board, Mims?" It was the High Commander.
"You know you don't need an escort," Mims boomed back. "If we were planning to kill you we wouldn't have docked at all."
"They're not here for me," General Young explained. "They're here to keep any wayward personnel from getting wild ideas. Aldara remembers, Mims."
"Yeah. I guess it does." Yvian could hear the Captain's grimace. "Permission granted."
High Commander Young turned to the man on his left. The man's body went rigid as he snapped a salute. General Young stood straight and stiff as he returned it. The man stepped away. General Young and the woman on his right both took out their rifles, handing them over to a pair of soldiers. They did the same with their swords. General Young looked up at Mims. "Mind if we keep our sidearms?"
Mims called back, "Doesn't matter."
The General gave a gracious nod and climbed the ramp. The woman followed, staying to his right and half a step behind. Mims went back to the control panel as they boarded. The Encounter's ramp retracted. The cargo bay door sealed shut.
The High Commander removed his helmet. He looked much as Yvian remembered. His skin was a deep, dark brown. His head was shaved and smooth and shiny. He had the complexion of a young man, but his eyes were grim and his expression could have been carved from stone. Yvian was sure he was old. As old as the Captain, if not older. Most likely he'd undergone rejuvenation in an Oluken med-pod just like Mims.
The woman took her helmet off as well. Blonde hair and sharp cheekbones. Eyes that reminded Yvian of green grass on a summer day. Expressive lips set in a serious expression. And curves Yvian was trying hard not to notice. Yvian remembered this woman. "Hamilton?"
The woman blinked, then smiled. "I'm surprised you remember."
A grin forced its way past Yvian's desire to appear professional. "How could I forget?"
Mims ignored the exchange, turning to the High Commander. "Before anything else, I need to hear you say it again."
"Say what again?" The High Commander asked.
"That you had nothing to do with it."
General Young frowned, but nodded. "Neither I nor any of my people set off the device that called the Klaath. I didn't know we had such a thing at the time."
Mims kept his gaze focused on the man. "Kilroy?"
"The meatbag is not lying," said the machine.
The High Commander glanced at the Peacekeeper unit. His eyes widened, then narrowed.
"Fair enough. Second question." Mims kept his eyes on the General. "When did we get our hands on that tech? Was it at Aldara?" His tone was businesslike, but there was an intensity he couldn't keep off his face. "The first time?"
General Young held the Captain's gaze for a pregnant moment. Then he shook his head. "I don't know."
The Captain went deathly quiet. "You don't know."
"I don't know." The High Commander spoke firmly. "And if I can't find out, no one can." He folded his arms. "There's no record of when that technology was invented. I know it's ours. We found another device. But someone went through a lot of trouble to make sure we'd never find out where it came from."
Mims composed himself. "I see."
"No you don't," said the General. "I tried to find some people to ask about it. People that might know what kind of science was being done in Aldara when it all went down. Do you know what I found? A trail of bodies." A hint of fury flashed across his face. "Three research stations, all at Aldara, with no record of what they were studying. And every single person that was on those stations died. All of them. All within five years of the incident." His jaw clenched. "That tells me something all by itself, but there's no records and no proof. We'll never know for sure."
Mims stared at the man a moment longer, then nodded slowly. He turned to Kilroy. "Where are we at with Klaath?"
"The Vrrl Starfang Empire is defending Tendril Sector," said the Peacekeeper. "This unit calculates they will be sufficient. This unit calculates the meatbags will be sufficient in this sector, as well. Peacekeeper Unit Admiral Ender Zhukov states it is unable to calculate the outcome in New Pixa Sector. Peacekeeper Unit Admiral Ender Zhukov also states there is nothing this ship can do to affect that outcome at this time."
"New Pixa's under attack?" asked the General.
"We think they're after the Queens," Mims explained. He tilted his head slightly, coming to a decision. "You want a beer?"
General Young blinked. "You have beer?"
Everyone moved to the kitchen. Mims dug some beers out of the fridge. He handed one to Lissa and one to General Young, keeping the third for himself. Yvian followed his fine example, grabbing a bottle for herself and one for the General's Assistant. Hamilton opened her mouth to protest, then closed it, frowning at the beer in her hand.
"It's alright Hamilton," the High Commander told her. "Soldiers don't drink on duty, but we're not soldiers right now. We're diplomats, and diplomats drink." He twisted the cap off of his bottle. "You can consider it an order if it makes you feel better."
"Yes sir." Hamilton popped her beer open and took a sip. She gave the bottle a considering look, and then took a much longer swig.
"That's good beer," said the High Commander.
"The most popular drink in the Technocracy," Yvian said proudly.
"Haven't had one in a while," the General confided. "I got the entire human race crammed ass to elbow in every station we could move, and we're missing about two planets worth of food production. We can't afford to spend resources on luxuries like booze."
Yvian eyed the two of them. Had the High Commander lost weight? She couldn't tell. He'd been a mass of muscle when she met the man, and he still was. She started to size up Hamilton, but quickly changed her mind. She was dangerously close to ogling the woman as it was.
Still, if they couldn't get beer, it was likely the humans had been forced to eat whatever could be grown in bulk on the quick. Crunch, they might have been living on protein paste. Yvian's taste buds cried out in sympathy. The thought of that poor, beautiful woman suffering like that...
"Mims?" Yvian asked. "Is there any way we could make breakfast?"
The Captain's eyes flicked from Yvian to Hamilton and back. He looked down at his wrist console. "Might as well. It's technically morning, I guess." He stood, heading for the fridge.
"You want some help?" General Young offered.
"Sure," said Mims. "You can dice the potatoes."
"I suppose I'll eat as well," Scarrend rumbled. He went to the corner of the kitchen, where his personal larder had been set up. He pulled out a leg.
"Uh, Scarrend?" Lissa spoke up. "Maybe you should have fish for breakfast."
"Hmm?" The Vrrl rumbled. Then he caught her look. He put the leg back and pulled out a salmon.
"Was that a human leg?" Hamilton asked. She looked concerned.
"Yes," said Scarrend.
"Don't worry," Yvian reassured her. "It's Mims' leg. We cloned it."
"...Why?"
"It turns out the Vrrl don't eat people just for fun," Lissa explained. "If they go too long without eating sapient flesh they'll lose their minds. Go feral." She grimaced. "It's not pretty, and it's not reversible."
"What?" Hamilton's frown deepened. "How does that work? Some kind of enzyme deficiency?"
"It's psychosomatic," Lissa told her, "but it's hardwired into their DNA. Just like their worship of the Varma."
"That," the High Commander stopped cutting potatoes as he spoke, "is deeply fucked up."
"We are as the gods have made us," Scarrend said simply.
Lissa engaged Hamilton in small talk while the men cooked. Yvian joined in where she could, but she'd never been good at talking to new people. Especially pretty ones. Mims and the General worked in companionable silence, aside from a single exchange.
"I didn't know you cooked," the General had remarked.
"Someone has to," Mims had replied. "The girls baked me a cake once. I thought they were trying to kill me."
"That was one time," Lissa had protested.
Breakfast was simple but plentiful. Bacon and eggs. Pancakes and fried potatoes. Yvian and Lissa got more beer. The humans drank orange juice or milk. By unspoken agreement, conversation was abandoned as everyone ate. Yvian had thought the Captain cooked more than they needed, but after General Young and Hamilton each helped themselves to a third plateful she wondered if he'd made enough.
"Oh my god," Hamilton leaned back after swallowing one last bit of pancake. "I forgot how good it can be to eat real food."
"That was a real kindness," the High Commander agreed. He smiled at the pixens. "Good to see you girls haven't changed."
"It's good to see you, Bart," said Lissa. She smiled back.
Mims offered more beer. Hamilton declined, but the General accepted. Lissa took one, too. The Captain sat down, frowned, then got up to get another bottle for himself. "Alright. I guess we should get down to business."
"I guess we should," General Young agreed. "It's been a hell of a year, hasn't it?"
"I've had worse," said the Captain. "But not many."
"Tell me about it." The High Commander grimaced. "I thought last year was bad, what with the Vore and the Xill, but last year's got nothing on this. Most of the government got assassinated, half our stations got shot up, and then humanity's greatest enemies all formed a coalition and came after us." He swigged his beer. "Now my whole fucking species is hiding out with a bunch of pacifist squid people."
"Yeah, how are the Taa'Oor?" Lissa took a drink of her own. "I don't know much about them."
"They're sweethearts," said the General. "Weird, but sweet. Kinda hard to talk to, though. They communicate by changing the color of splotches on their bodies, and each one uses different patterns. It's like you have to learn a new language for each individual, and it's played hell with our translators."
"The Taa'Oor have been very helpful," Hamilton added. "They seem really happy to be dealing with us instead of the Oluken."
"I don't blame them," said Lissa.
"I should probably feel bad for dragging them into this," General Young admitted, "but we didn't have much of a choice. Between the Vrrl and those goddamned Klaath Queenships we can't win a straight up fight." He gestured with his bottle. "How the hell did you find a way to control those things, anyway? The Klaath fuse their ships to their nervous systems. I didn't think anyone else could use them."
"Xill technology," Lissa told him. "An artificial nervous system linked to a Peacekeeper unit."
The General grunted. "Anyway, moving to Wet Sector took us from certain defeat to a stalemate. We don't got the forces to take New Pixa, but you can't get to us, either. You try and we'll just cut the Gate. The Taa'Oor won't even mind." He shrugged a shoulder. "They'd rather live simple on their homeworld, anyway."
"Stalemate might be a bit optimistic," Mims told him. "You've lost both your planets, and you've got more people then you've got space for, let alone food. You can't keep hiding much longer."
"We can," the High Commander disagreed, "but I don't want to. This war's cost us too many people already. I don't want starvation to add to the toll."
"Surrender then," Mims suggested. "Take the ceasefire. We didn't want a war in the first place."
"This unit did," Kilroy objected.
"And the Empire as well," said Scarrend. "But we're willing to consider your surrender. If we kill you all now, there will be no humans to hunt later."
The General gave Scarrend a considering look. "Are you able to speak for the Vrrl?" he asked. "Negotiate on their behalf?"
"No," said Scarrend. "A negotiation will require all three Warmasters, and the proposal will have to be approved by the Emperor."
"Damn." The High Commander took another drink. "I was hoping we could get this done today."
"We can still lay the groundwork," said Lissa. "You've got our initial proposal."
"A proposal we can't accept," said the General. "We already lost Dorado to the Vore. I can't give up another planet."
"You've already given up your planets," Scarrend pointed out. "The ceasefire would let you get one of them back."
"Can't do it," General Young repeated.
"We know you don't really expect us to give up Aldara," Hamilton cut in. "You're starting high so we'll have to bargain you back down."
"No," said Scarrend. "We're telling you the price of survival."
"Uh... Scarrend?" Yvian interrupted. "Hamilton's right. We weren't going to take Aldara."
"Yvian!" Lissa snapped at her.
"What?" Yvian met her sister's outraged eyes. "That's what you said, isn't it?"
"Yeah." Lissa let out an exasperated breath. "But you're not supposed to tell them that."
"It doesn't matter," Mims decided. "We can't do peace talks until the Warmasters are available, anyway." He leaned forward. "We've got something more important to talk about."
The High Commander eyed the Captain, then set his beer down. He gave a single, grave nod. "Reba."
"A ceasefire won't mean shit," said Mims, "as long as she's running the Federation."
"There isn't a Federation," the General told him. "Not anymore. It died two months ago, when some asshole overthrew the government in a Military coup."
"There was no choice, sir," Hamilton reassured him. "The selection process was compromised."
"All the candidates were in Reba's pocket," the General explained.
"And you're not," Mims guessed.
"If you heard the orders President Boyd tried to give..." He shook his head. "Doesn't matter. It's done." He picked his beer back up. "The worst part wasn't the war, you know. Wasn't even that we're losing. The worst part was finding out humanity's been manipulated by a goddamned computer program for six hundred years. A program," he added, "that doesn't care about keeping us alive anymore."
"Does that mean you kicked her out?" Yvian asked.
"We did a lot more than that," said the High Commander. "Pulling everyone to Wet Sector wasn't just a way to keep you from conquering us sector by sector. Reba was in control of the Nexus. I had to get everyone in one place, where we could communicate without Nodes. And I needed to get my hands on every ship, station, and computer capable of holding a Synthetic Intelligence."
"The Connor Protocol," Mims breathed. "You actually did it?"
"What's the Connor Protocol?" asked Lissa.
"A failsafe invented after the Singularity War," General Young explained. "A plan. You already know we don't allow remote controlled anything. Even our beam towers are manned. But there's all kinds of shit an SI can do without direct control, and they can download themselves into anything with enough processing power. If an SI like Reba infiltrates the Nexus, there's only one thing we can do."
"Shut down the Nexus completely," Hamilton elaborated, "and scour every single computer one by one."
"Then we had to search our planets for hidden servers along with every asteroid we could get to," the General continued. "That's what my people were doing on Terra Nova when you showed up." He grimaced. "I thought we got her until she set off those Klaath beacons."
"You couldn't have got her anyway," Yvian told him. "She's in Xill space, trying to take them over."
The General stared at Yvian, then swore. "If she takes over the Xill we're all fucked."
"We know," said Mims. "Exodus is trying to stop her."
"Never thought I'd see the day I rooted for Exodus the Genocide." The High Commander shook his head. "Does he think he can do it?"
"No," Mims admitted. "I think he's just buying time."
The General swore again.
"Do you have a plan?" Hamilton asked. "In case she comes after you with the Xill?"
"We're working on it," said Mims.
"So no, then," the General's rigid posture slumped. For just a moment, he looked very, very tired. "I need a vacation."
"It will be alright, sir," said Hamilton. "We'll find a way."
"Of course we will." The General pulled himself back together. "I'm just a little tired is all." He drained the last of his beer. "I'm a Military man. I never signed up to run a country or..." He gestured with the empty bottle. "all of this."
"Welcome to my world," said Mims.
The High Commander grunted.
"So..." Yvian frowned. A thought that had been niggling her for most of the conversation finally climbed to the surface. "I guess this means you're not getting Blingy."
"Blingy?" The General raised an eyebrow.
"The Lucendian ship we gave to the Xill," Lissa explained. "After Myrsa defected, we assumed you'd use her to get it."
"We figured Reba would hand you the ship," Mims added. "We didn't know you started the Connor Protocol."
"I don't think Reba's gonna be handing us much of anything," said the General. His brows furrowed. "Why'd you want us to get our hands on a Lucendian ship?"
"So we could take it from you," said Kilroy.
General Young grunted. "Figures."
"Wait." Hamilton frowned. "If you thought... Why take her back?"
Mims glanced sharply at the General's Assistant. "What?"
"Why take her back?" Hamilton repeated. "Why recapture Myrsa if you thought she's doing what you wanted?"
"We didn't," said Mims.
"Someone did," the High Commander told him. "Someone who doesn't show up on sensors. Someone who slaughtered their way to Station Control in under a minute." He fixed a grim eye on Kilroy. "It was Peacekeeper work. I'm sure of it."
"Negative," said Kilroy. "All Peacekeeper units are accounted for. No Peacekeeper units have entered Wet Sector."
"No one else could have done it," the General insisted. "We were sure it was you."
"Negative," the Peacekeeper denied again.
"It wasn't us." Mims agreed.
"Then who?" The General asked. "Because it wasn't anybody human."
The Captain's eyes narrowed. Then they went wide. "When did this happen?"
"About an hour after the Klaath showed up," said the General.
"Kilroy." Mims stood, pulling out his helmet. "How long would it take to get us to Hub 14? "
"Six hours," said the Peacekeeper unit, "forty seven minutes."
"Sorry, General." Mims donned his helmet. "But we're gonna have to cut this short."
"It's a set up." The High Commander stood. "Isn't it?"
"Don't know yet," said the Captain. "But better safe than sorry."

I have a tattoo on my inner bicep that I had an artist draw up, taking nearly an hour just to tell her yes, no, tweek this, etc. ik it’s on me forever, I was being picky and IMO rightfully so. I got it a week later (last March…) and I’ve grown to not enjoy it (even more so than right after…..) . It is (when my arm hangs, it runs up and down) a simple drawing of a Shepard walking up a hill to one sheep, and behind him a herd. I wanted it very abstract (as in the sheep aren’t detailed, it’s a POV from a hill nearby kinda thing.) it’s religious, yes. I’m getting married soon and I just do not care for this thing on my arm but it feels wrong to want it removed like a year and some after getting it … I’m so upset with myself, I do like it and the idea but with my arm down it looks like a f’ed up tree branch with flowers on the bottom? Idek. Who’s gotten theirs removed? How many times will it take? It’s all line work, but the Shepard is filled in.
Thank you much!