This sub makes me feel like I should give up on my dream of becoming a web dev, which really, really sucks because it's the ONLY thing I'm interested in doing. I literally do not want a job of any kind that does not involve web dev or at least coding. I love it that much.
Two years ago I was severely depressed to the point that I was a serious risk to myself. To make a long story very short, coding saved me from that depression. I fell in love with it, I mean truly in love with it, and it started an incredible journey for me that led me to a point where I know more about computers and coding than I ever thought I would.
I've taught myself for almost two years, earned certifications, built projects, contributed to open source, networked online and in person. Moved to a major tech hub city to meet other devs and grow my network. Had my resume vetted by several longtime devs, including some that are involved with hiring new devs. I have been told very consistently "you are way ahead of the curve for someone wanting to come in as a junior". I am good at what I do. Every time I talk to someone in the industry who looks at my work and even spends five minutes talking to me and understands my almost manic passion for this, they tell me straight up, "you absolutely should be a developer right now."
I apply to ten jobs a day, every day. It's my morning ritual. I don't ever expect anything. Sometimes I get a little nibble, sometimes I even get a phone screening. It definitely seems like I'm on the right track.
Then I come here, and I read thread after thread--
"It's impossible. This is the worst market ever. Salaries are plummeting, competition is increasing, you basically have to be the CEO of Google to even get an interview to wash the windows of the building three blocks down from Amazon. Everything sucks. We're all fucked. Life is over. We're doomed."
It is SO discouraging because this is not just a JOB to me, it is my entire reason for getting out of bed in the morning.
Yes, I'm neurodivergent. Yes, this is a special interest/hyperfixation. That's beside the point. The point is, I don't want to live without this. Everything in my life that brings me joy is centered around computers, computer science, coding, and coding culture.
I do realize that the market sucks. Like, I get that. I understand that. I hate it, because it's keeping me from doing a job that I know for a fact I could do VERY WELL if I got the opportunity. I would be so goddamn enthusiastic they would probably have to stick me in the janitor's closet because I would be bubbling over to the brim, and even then I would be happy.
I guess I just wanted to vent a little. I'm not going to stop trying.
Edit: I just wanted to add, I don't think I'm God's gift to programming or anything. I think I'm good at it, but I also recognize that I have a LONG way to go. It's just very hard to care very deeply about something that seems so impossible to get because the only thing you ever hear is how nobody gets a job doing this anymore.

Greeting Dronnerszz.... Juts want an opinion about Smoke stopper. I just try to fix my quad 5V not working on my Flight controller issue and it fix now, but when I go a head and use a Smoke Stopper the quad Turn on and bind perfectly , but as soon as I pump up the throttle the Smoke Stopper cut off the power ....
So , is that an indication of it have a short circuit or it just stop because the power limit from throttle ?. I do check on my soldering work with multimeter on battery terminal and no beeping .
hoping for your guys Opinion....

Hey all,
I really need some advice here. I worked in the states for about 7 years as an engineer in oil and gas, got laid off in 2019, decided to pursue a masters in Germany, but got waylayed on that because of COVID. Try as I might, I couldn't find a job before I moved. I moved in October 2021. So I was basically out of work for over 2 years... During that time I was studying and working on my house, but COVID made things hard obviously.
Now, here I am, 3 years later in Germany. The plan was originally to move out here, get my masters, and go on to do a PhD and eventually get an academic position. I came out for a year, and then my wife joined me here. We rent our house out back home and that has provided enough money for us to pay for our rent here, and we have been able to hold on to it so we could eventually move back. My wife works remotely part time and that gives us a bit more to travel and do.
The fact is, school here has been very hard for me. The program is extremely difficult, and most people finish it in 3 years, not in the proposed two years, but I have found it especially hard. Part of the reason I was laid off in 2019 was because I had undiagnosed ADHD and a severe internet addiction. I didn't stop having ADHD or having said internet addiction when I moved here. To make matters worse, it has taken 2 years to get meds here in Germany. I have 2 failed exams (to be fair everyone I know in the program has failed at least one), I have outstanding papers....I should still be able to finish by March of 2025 provided I get my thesis finished on time.
In the meantime, I have only worked in some small student jobs here. One of the professors took me on to help teach a course and I've done that for about a year and a half. I also have run an English language social club which I'm paid for by the University, and have done new student orientation for several semesters. Because of my student status in Germany, I can't legally work a full-time job and still be classified as a student.
Now, plans have changed. The costs on my house back home have gone up, while the rental market has taken a hit. The house isn't always making ends meet, and if we were to stay here, we would need to sell it. I'm not selling while I'm here, because we would have to pay a ridiculous amount of tax to the German government, and if we sell the house, the real estate market is such that we wouldn't be able to get back into the region we were in. It was always the plan to move back eventually, but this has forced our hand a bit.
Moreover, I have decided that a PhD isn't for me. This Masters program took too long (3 years here, 5 years if you count the time I spent in prep during COVID for it). A PhD is a ton of research and I can barely force myself to sit down and right an essay, and an academic position here is not at all guaranteed.
Now for the real problem: I want to finish my program and come back to the States, but I'm not really sure what to do. I'm kind of overwhelmed by the fact I haven't worked in 5 years, and I'm worried I won't be able to find a job. Worse yet, I really don't know what jobs I should be applying for. This master's didn't give me many new skills, and I'm feeling like I may have wasted 5 years of my life. I feel so stupid. My engineering job paid $150k+ a year, but I really wanted out. If I had found another job and worked for 5 years, I may have been able to work up the ladder, but now I'm at risk of getting an entry-level position that pays little. I want to do something with markets and something where I can be a bit social.
The other thing is, I'm 35 now, my wife is 38. We want kids. It has to happen soon, otherwise we don't get to. I'm panicking a bit inside about how we're going to make it work.
TL;DR: Got laid off and haven't worked in 5 years because of COVID/Grad School in a foreign country. Now am terrified of being rejected from finding a decent-paying job, with the prospect of kids very much in the near term.

Hello if anyone actually ever sees this i just would like advice on want to do based on my parents. TW⚠️
Okay to start some background info is im 14 years old and have no way to make money. To start off if i don’t get any actual good advice im probably gonna end up dead. Hello, im AJ i want to talk about my life and how I got here in this place typing at 2:15 on a Thursday night. All my problems started in 3rd grade when my brother ran away from home when my drunk father tried to fight him. After he left i had no one left which lead me to being sad and the burdens of my family being put onto me as I got older I stopped talking which started my selective mutism. In 6th grade is when my depression hit a all time low and i started smoking vapes to try and make myself feel better i started hanging out with the wrong people to make myself feel something which also made me a masochist not in a sexual way In 7th grade the only person I had at this time was my cousin and we hung out more until her brother SA her infront of me and made me watch so we tried to run away cause he’s like a “golden child” so we knew her parents wouldn’t believe us. Long story short her dad found us threw her against the wall and chocked her. We was banned from seeing eachother and i lost everyone which lead me to the stupidest thing i could’ve done which obviously is smoking more and i started drinking💔💔 i would leave home and go to middle school drunk to feel sum. Okayyy time skip to this year (8th grade) As i said earlier my dad is an angry drunk and my mom is emotionally abusive which causes me to constantly be in fear and stress which cause me to start to lose weight from being under so much stress. When my dad comes home i immediately go in my room scared he’ll find something wrong with the house and yell at me about it. And with my mom I’ve been asking for a therapist since 6th grade but she says she’s looking she never does. In my house i can’t show any negative emotions cause I’ll get yelled at it’s to the point that I’ll just hold stuff in and refuse to cry until i reach a breaking point. My mom refuses to respect any opinions as simply just not touching me as (i don’t liked being touched cs of the thing with my cousin) she won’t stop and thinks it’s a game until i freak out and raise my voice a little bit and than she yells at me for raising my voice then it’s about my grades then it’s how she’s sorry she’s such a bad mother. Apologies literally don’t happen in my house unless it’s her saying that my dad can finish yelling at me for a pen misplaced then say “give me a hug” and if i don’t he gets mad again i don’t want to touch them i never do and never will. I’m currently online school which unfortunately causes me to be home often and every time I’m home i can literally feel the energy being drained out of me. In my house hugs don’t happen being comforted doesn’t happen the last time i was comforted was by my brother like 2 weeks before he left my dad got home drunk like usual and and came upstairs to yell at me until i was sobbing and left the room and my brother came in and whispered quiet so my dad didn’t hear is that it’s okay he does it cause he loves me. That’s the last time i felt warmth from my family that didn’t feel forced or fake. I love my brother so much i wouldn’t of been alive if it wasn’t for him right now but it’s honestly to much for me to do I’m currently failing all my classes and won’t make it to high school cause I’m under stress of my parents constantly every time i stand up i almost pass out out from my lack of eating cs of stress. I’m just done i need advice before i literally js kms cs it just looks like the only way out.

I got this horrifying problem a few months from taking literally a hit of weed. On it, I felt like I forgot I existed and felt like I was going insane. It was so terrifying I thought of ending my own life. I almost tried to drown myself. It lasted the entirety of the next day. It was so bad I had to leave my college class. I thought this would pass. Well, the high passed but this was just the beginning of my dpdr. I felt like my entire sense of self was altered. I felt like I was trapped inside of my body. I wanted to scream publically. I would look at the world like I was living in a simulation or a different planet. I would question whether I was even conscious or if I was a robot. I felt like I would never be the same again. I couldn't even sleep because I was staring at my room and myself like a crazy person. My vision was entirely altered thinking things were too big or small. I would look at people and not even listen to them because I was too busy thinking they were a robot. Time was altered. I thought I lost my memories. It. Was. Bad. Even my friend who used to be in the psych ward for a number of years told me that the people there with dpdr were inconsolable and it was very sad to watch.
After this, I knew I need help and so I sought it out. I knew I couldn't just sit around because knowing me it would not pass on its own. I normally never go to the doctor for mental health issues but this was utterly terrifying to go through. I went to a therapist who referred me to NOCD...a god send. It was full of people who had similar experiences to me. I got on prozac and I started taking trazadone for sleep. Being on that weed and having all of these realizations traumatized me. I started exposure therapy and realized that the reason all of these things frighten me is because I want to feel both purposeful and safe. I started finding things in my life that would make me feel this way. I also took every stressor out of my life and embraced the positives. The exposures were horrible at first but after some time the triggers start to fade. My NOCD therapist has me sit under flourescent lights, look at pictures of space, watch videos of space, look at myself in the mirror, etc. She gets me to embrace the fear. I've been listening to a podcast called "Anxiety doesn't own me" that talks a lot about dpdr. I do a ritual of taking a bath at night and listening to it. Highly recommend. I've been doing a lot of meditation and getting into spirituality which might sound odd...but it makes me feel safe which is one of the roots to my problem. Whenever the thoughts come up about existing I just tell myself "Well what are you gonna do about it? You can't do anything." I talked to my dad a little while ago about my problem and he said "The only thing you can do is enjoy life and stop worrying, because you won't get to have this again." My advice is to just retrain your brain. Make your brain embrace these horrifying things, accept it. Find the root of your problems and explore new things that can make you happy. Oh and don't drink for now because it will only make this worse. It's hard at first, but once you figure out why you're scared of it....you get a better handle of things. Although I still have this issue, I have made so much progress. I don't feel crazy anymore, I just acknowledge my problem and move along. It will go away. Don't be too hard on yourself. You just have to believe that it will pass. And well, not smoke weed haha.

It wasn’t always bad. The first 4 years were pretty good. The occasional fight or spat, then we had our first kid and there was this weird subtle shift. Barely noticeable, but definitely there. I was dealing with being a new mom, fell into a pretty bad postpartum anxiety, to the point I had to quit my job because it had gotten so bad. He started coming home from work then sitting in the garage for hours or leaving the house at odd times. It took me 2 years to figure out that what he was doing in the garage was smoking meth. Leaving to buy meth and to meet up with other people because according to him I wasn’t satisfying him. But how was I to know that you can’t actually satisfy a meth addict, something about the high. I don’t know I’ve never done it.
Anyway, I forgave him and tried to help him with his addiction. Tried everything I could think of short of having him committed to a rehab facility involuntarily… which I don’t think I can do without a court order. I lasted 8 months doing this before I couldn’t do it anymore, but then I found out I was pregnant, weirdly I was on birth control…fun. I feel like I need to add here that although our second baby was a bit of a surprise she was very much a wanted baby… a baby I had planned to try for 4 months after I actually got pregnant and only if things had calmed down. Oh and I had also started working again 6 months prior.
Well things got worse, so much worse. 7 months into my pregnancy I found out that he had been having an affair with some girl 12 years his junior who he wanted to move into my house with our children and be in a relationship with this person and I was supposed to just accept it. On top of that I also figured out he was sleeping with multiple other people…While in a panic, I had a moment of clarity and I ran to my OB and had them run every possible STD test out there. And positive it came back. Thankfully it was bacterial, caught in time and my doctor was able to treat it and get rid of it with a round of antibiotics.
That was it for me. I ended it. 7 months pregnant with a toddler and single… super excited. I wish I could say things got better after that. But, as so often happens, things got worse. Now I was being threatened to be beat up by his girlfriend. I was so deeply depressed I was hardly eating anything. When the baby came (during the beginning of Covid lockdown, by the way), he slept while I labored, was visibly high while I gave birth and stayed exactly 1 hour after she was born and then took off and didn’t come back until it was time for us to go home. And only then he only came back because he had my car with the car seat and I begged him to come get us after he suggested my sister pick us up.
And yet, I was so embarrassed about the whole situation blaming myself entirely for all of it. After all I chose him. No one knew what was happening. No one knew of the cheating, the meth, that sweet little letter he wrote me to convince me to bring his girlfriend to live with us. His threats of suicide and self harm. Nothing. And then one night 2 years later I decided I needed to start dating and so I did… bad idea… it lasted 2 months before he hacked into my phone. My email, my everything and was watching my every move. I figured it out one night when my phone stopped working and I went to my provider to find out what was going on. They let me know someone had cloned my sim and had access to all my personal accounts… they showed me the number that had my sim… it was his phone… his excuse when I confronted him? “I had to know where my children were” mind you I had never lied to him or kept the kids from him, matter of fact I went out of my way to tell him where we were and how long we’d be. I moved out that night. I went to the house grabbed all essentials for the kids and myself and anything else I could possibly fit in my small SUV asked my parents if I could stay with them and never looked back.
Three months later I found a tracking device in my car. I now have a permanent restraining order against the guy and he’s worked himself out of having both physical and legal custody of the kids.
All that to say that in the 4 years since I left him, I’ve tried to date several times… and… I can’t seem to stay with it. I’m afraid of everything. I’m afraid of being hurt again. I’m afraid of someone hurting my children, not that they ever even meet them. I’m afraid of ending in the same place I am now. I’m afraid of putting that much effort into someone again. I don’t know how to make the fear disappear. I don’t know how to let anyone in again. I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried just jumping into it and nothing. I end up running for the hills.
I’m not saying I need to be in a relationship, but it would be nice to not feel so afraid of it. So stuck in this bad place that I can’t open up to the even the possibility of it.

I, M30s, just had a huge fight with my spouse about Zyn. I started smoking cigs around 15, switched to nicotine vapes in my 20s, in my 30s, on zyns. I’ve been seriously trying to quit for months now and it’s been rough. I’m more determined now that I’m not really feeling it anymore but I enjoy the brief focus and energy boost. I’m sure you all have been there, Zyn packets in your pants and wifey does laundry and finds them and confronts you. I’ve lied about them in the past and wanted to stop lying and say something when I found myself relapsing. I told her that I found a can with two left and took them today because I wanted to be upfront about it and she started on about how untrustworthy I was and how my first instinct is to lie about it (she did ask me earlier in the evening if I was taking Zyn again and I said no, so she’s right that I am sneaky about a liar about it) but I wanted to do the right thing and tell her, actually in fact I did take two today. We had a huge fight and I’m up alone by myself doing work because I don’t want to leave the house.
Tomorrow going cold Turkey, gum and Celsius. Any other thoughts or advice?

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77

★ Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74

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★ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87

★ M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41

★ M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39

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★ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28

★ Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15

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★ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93

★ Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18

★ Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83

★ Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64

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★ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41

★ Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25

★ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80

★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96

★ Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79

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★ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11

★ Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78

★ Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88

★ StatTrak™ Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79

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★ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05

★ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24

★ Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53

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★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42

★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37

★ Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66

★ Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18

★ Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13

★ Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26

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★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11

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★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02

★ Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44

★ Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54

★ Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81

★ Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81

★ Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82

★ Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46

★ StatTrak™ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08

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★ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48

★ Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12

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★ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26

★ Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77

★ Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49

★ Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51

★ Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94

★ Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99

★ Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96

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★ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92

★ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03

★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22

★ Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40

★ Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46

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★ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93

★ Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43

★ Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16

★ Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95

GLOVES

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67

★ Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33

★ Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88

★ Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66

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★ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21

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★ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00

★ Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28

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★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32

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★ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01

★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66

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★ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55

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★ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55

WEAPONS

AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95

AUG Hot Rod (Factory New), B/O: $425.83

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Hyper Beast (Factory New), B/O: $413.95

M4A4 Daybreak (Factory New), B/O: $309.51

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge (Factory New), B/O: $305.43

AK-47 Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $196.38

StatTrak™ M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64

P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03

AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00

M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48

AWP Asiimov (Well-Worn), B/O: $115.97

StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Printstream (Minimal Wear), B/O: $112.96

StatTrak™ AK-47 Asiimov (Minimal Wear), B/O: $110.85

Souvenir M4A1-S Master Piece (Well-Worn), B/O: $102.42

AK-47 Bloodsport (Minimal Wear), B/O: $100.53

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It wasn’t always bad. The first 4 years were pretty good. The occasional fight or spat, then we had our first kid and there was this weird subtle shift. Barely noticeable, but definitely there. I was dealing with being a new mom, fell into a pretty bad postpartum anxiety, to the point I had to quit my job because it had gotten so bad. He started coming home from work then sitting in the garage for hours or leaving the house at odd times. It took me 2 years to figure out that what he was doing in the garage was smoking meth. Leaving to buy meth and to meet up with other people because according to him I wasn’t satisfying him. But how was I to know that you can’t actually satisfy a meth addict, something about the high. I don’t know I’ve never done it.
Anyway, I forgave him and tried to help him with his addiction. Tried everything I could think of short of having him committed to a rehab facility involuntarily… which I don’t think I can do without a court order. I lasted 8 months doing this before I couldn’t do it anymore, but then I found out I was pregnant, weirdly I was on birth control…fun. I feel like I need to add here that although our second baby was a bit of a surprise she was very much a wanted baby… a baby I had planned to try for 4 months after I actually got pregnant and only if things had calmed down. Oh and I had also started working again 6 months prior.
Well things got worse, so much worse. 7 months into my pregnancy I found out that he had been having an affair with some girl 12 years his junior who he wanted to move into my house with our children and be in a relationship with this person and I was supposed to just accept it. On top of that I also figured out he was sleeping with multiple other people…While in a panic, I had a moment of clarity and I ran to my OB and had them run every possible STD test out there. And positive it came back. Thankfully it was bacterial, caught in time and my doctor was able to treat it and get rid of it with a round of antibiotics.
That was it for me. I ended it. 7 months pregnant with a toddler and single… super excited. I wish I could say things got better after that. But, as so often happens, things got worse. Now I was being threatened to be beat up by his girlfriend. I was so deeply depressed I was hardly eating anything. When the baby came (during the beginning of Covid lockdown, by the way), he slept while I labored, was visibly high while I gave birth and stayed exactly 1 hour after she was born and then took off and didn’t come back until it was time for us to go home. And only then he only came back because he had my car with the car seat and I begged him to come get us after he suggested my sister pick us up.
And yet, I was so embarrassed about the whole situation blaming myself entirely for all of it. After all I chose him. No one knew what was happening. No one knew of the cheating, the meth, that sweet little letter he wrote me to convince me to bring his girlfriend to live with us. His threats of suicide and self harm. Nothing. And then one night 2 years later I decided I needed to start dating and so I did… bad idea… it lasted 2 months before he hacked into my phone. My email, my everything and was watching my every move. I figured it out one night when my phone stopped working and I went to my provider to find out what was going on. They let me know someone had cloned my sim and had access to all my personal accounts… they showed me the number that had my sim… it was his phone… his excuse when I confronted him? “I had to know where my children were” mind you I had never lied to him or kept the kids from him, matter of fact I went out of my way to tell him where we were and how long we’d be. I moved out that night. I went to the house grabbed all essentials for the kids and myself and anything else I could possibly fit in my small SUV asked my parents if I could stay with them and never looked back.
Three months later I found a tracking device in my car. I now have a permanent restraining order against the guy and he’s worked himself out of having both physical and legal custody of the kids.
All that to say that in the 4 years since I left him, I’ve tried to date several times… and… I can’t seem to stay with it. I’m afraid of everything. I’m afraid of being hurt again. I’m afraid of someone hurting my children, not that they ever even meet them. I’m afraid of ending in the same place I am now. I’m afraid of putting that much effort into someone again. I don’t know how to make the fear disappear. I don’t know how to let anyone in again. I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried just jumping into it and nothing. I end up running for the hills.
I’m not saying I need to be in a relationship, but it would be nice to not feel so afraid of it. So stuck in this bad place that I can’t open up to the even the possibility of it.

It wasn’t always bad. The first 4 years were pretty good. The occasional fight or spat, then we had our first kid and there was this weird subtle shift. Barely noticeable, but definitely there. I was dealing with being a new mom, fell into a pretty bad postpartum anxiety, to the point I had to quit my job because it had gotten so bad. He started coming home from work then sitting in the garage for hours or leaving the house at odd times. It took me 2 years to figure out that what he was doing in the garage was smoking meth. Leaving to buy meth and to meet up with other people because according to him I wasn’t satisfying him. But how was I to know that you can’t actually satisfy a meth addict, something about the high. I don’t know I’ve never done it.
Anyway, I forgave him and tried to help him with his addiction. Tried everything I could think of short of having him committed to a rehab facility involuntarily… which I don’t think I can do without a court order. I lasted 8 months doing this before I couldn’t do it anymore, but then I found out I was pregnant, weirdly I was on birth control…fun. I feel like I need to add here that although our second baby was a bit of a surprise she was very much a wanted baby… a baby I had planned to try for 4 months after I actually got pregnant and only if things had calmed down. Oh and I had also started working again 6 months prior.
Well things got worse, so much worse. 7 months into my pregnancy I found out that he had been having an affair with some girl 12 years his junior who he wanted to move into my house with our children and be in a relationship with this person and I was supposed to just accept it. On top of that I also figured out he was sleeping with multiple other people…While in a panic, I had a moment of clarity and I ran to my OB and had them run every possible STD test out there. And positive it came back. Thankfully it was bacterial, caught in time and my doctor was able to treat it and get rid of it with a round of antibiotics.
That was it for me. I ended it. 7 months pregnant with a toddler and single… super excited. I wish I could say things got better after that. But, as so often happens, things got worse. Now I was being threatened to be beat up by his girlfriend. I was so deeply depressed I was hardly eating anything. When the baby came (during the beginning of Covid lockdown, by the way), he slept while I labored, was visibly high while I gave birth and stayed exactly 1 hour after she was born and then took off and didn’t come back until it was time for us to go home. And only then he only came back because he had my car with the car seat and I begged him to come get us after he suggested my sister pick us up.
And yet, I was so embarrassed about the whole situation blaming myself entirely for all of it. After all I chose him. No one knew what was happening. No one knew of the cheating, the meth, that sweet little letter he wrote me to convince me to bring his girlfriend to live with us. His threats of suicide and self harm. Nothing. And then one night 2 years later I decided I needed to start dating and so I did… bad idea… it lasted 2 months before he hacked into my phone. My email, my everything and was watching my every move. I figured it out one night when my phone stopped working and I went to my provider to find out what was going on. They let me know someone had cloned my sim and had access to all my personal accounts… they showed me the number that had my sim… it was his phone… his excuse when I confronted him? “I had to know where my children were” mind you I had never lied to him or kept the kids from him, matter of fact I went out of my way to tell him where we were and how long we’d be. I moved out that night. I went to the house grabbed all essentials for the kids and myself and anything else I could possibly fit in my small SUV asked my parents if I could stay with them and never looked back.
Three months later I found a tracking device in my car. I now have a permanent restraining order against the guy and he’s worked himself out of having both physical and legal custody of the kids.
All that to say that in the 4 years since I left him, I’ve tried to date several times… and… I can’t seem to stay with it. I’m afraid of everything. I’m afraid of being hurt again. I’m afraid of someone hurting my children, not that they ever even meet them. I’m afraid of ending in the same place I am now. I’m afraid of putting that much effort into someone again. I don’t know how to make the fear disappear. I don’t know how to let anyone in again. I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried just jumping into it and nothing. I end up running for the hills.
I’m not saying I need to be in a relationship, but it would be nice to not feel so afraid of it. So stuck in this bad place that I can’t open up to the even the possibility of it.

Yesterday for the first time since the breakup in August 2022, I became so angry. My friend 27f was talking about howrny she is as it has been a couple of months for her and I kind told her ive not really had s*x except a couple of night stands last summer I regret and then how even in my relationship with my ex there sadly was not any s*x.
She looked at me confused as she explained its usual for couples, even at the beginning to do it all the time and want to see each other. My ex did not. I always had to go to his parents house where he was living at the time for sort of sleep over and this was usually Friday or Saturday night. He never wanted to see me more than 1 night in a row, no matter how many times I expressed to him I'd love a more than 1 night sleepover. I loved this man. I wanted to see him and be with him everyday ffs.
I have the Flo app to help me track my cycle to make sure all is ok. Have been doing it since 2021. We got together April 2022 (when we started talking) so I have all the data as I always updated it when we had s*x as well.
out of around 115 days that we were dating, we only had s*x 27 days. We banged a couple to three times when we saw each other on those days, but I count it as 1 as it was only 1 day. But this small number made me angry last night. I knew we hardly had s*x but did not realise how stupid low it was.
Now I always wanted to see him. I dont remember a day I did not want to know how he's doing or not want to see him, hang out, go on dates, smoke ganja with him ect.
I wanna add maybe 7 more days to the these s*x days when we saw each othewent on dates and there was no boom boom time after, which was nice, but trust me I was h*rny and wanted him so badly during those days too. I also wanna add another 20 days for when I had my period and couldn't/did not feel like it and 5 days when he was at a friends wedding in Barcelona.
Even with this, it comes to 69 days. Where was he the other 55+ days?
Every week without fail, he would go to is female best friends house to smoke weed. I am a stoner too, yet I was never invited, even though I wanted to meet this person.
I always trusted him but looking back after my conversation last night was he cheating on me?
He never wanted me to meet his family (I met his parents because he lived with them and his younger bro because he had to pick him up from a train station once) he never invited me to the family dinners where his brothers brought their gf or wife. I was always sad as I wanted so badly to meet everyone and be part of this family for real as I really loved my ex.
He did not want meet his friends either, never wanted to visit me or meet my friends. He forgot my birthday, never brought me flowers and always he never will. He kept making jokes about living with his female best friend, which makes me angry tbf looking back at it.
When we first got together his bumble notifications were going off so he deleted the app and tinder. But NOT the accounts.
Now I am overthinking because why did he not want to have s*x with me? Am I that bad?
The crazy thing is, when we were hanging out on the days we were together in person, everything was great, despite my really bad depression due to the abusive people I lived with at the time, we had a lot of fun. Why did he not want to see more?
I also counted that there would be 2-3 weeks where we did not do it in-between. Honestly I dont know I did not see it at the time. We banged so well and so much on the days we saw each other, so why did he not want me more?
I love s*x and I've never really had it as I just want to be 1 mans person and be the filthiest wife there is. I want to do so many naughty things but with the right person. I really believed my ex was it, like I wanted to try so many stuff with him but never got to.
I am 29 next month and honestly, I am tired of not being touched.
Sorry for this tmi so early in the morning. Just feel really shit. I loved my ex, a part of me still does. But now I can't stop thinking he was cheating.

Well, Hi all! again! 4Th Wall here, I figured since I just got power back, I might as well play some catch up on both series. Hope you enjoy this episode!!
Yup, I fucked that up. This is a repost with the correct Episode number, LOL! It's been a while since I've done that.
First, Previous, Next (Patreon)
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Benjamin smiled, watching the girls skip ahead of him. Today was a testing day of sorts for him. Unwilling to release firearms into this world haphazardly, yet unwilling to go without them as a backup; he had pulled from one of his sister’s favorite video games. He had “melted down” his bowie knife, repurposing the metal to be used in his latest creation. The final product rode on his hip like a short sword, but Ben was satisfied in the design when the vast majority of the people he passed ignored it as just another adventurer’s blade. Benjamin hoped, that with the existence of Majik, that he would be able to pass off any… peculiarities... as the realm of the supernatural.

The three of them arrived at the tailor’s establishment, and the girls were met with a customary indifference that seemed to present itself when a slave’s “master” was present. The moment Benjamin entered, the seamstress ceased to pay attention to the girls, and instead addressed him directly, “Ah, The Forgemaster’s Protégé. What can I do for you this day.” She said cooly, bowing slightly in welcome. “I’m here commission some clothing for these two, a reward for good service.” Benjamin began. It was technically true; the success of the forge had afforded him much more coin than a mere apprentice could have made. Qort had taken him on as a true partner, and Benjamin earned enough to comfortably afford to cloth his “slaves” in whatever he chose.

Some stigma’s remained however, and the seamstress seemed to glare sideways at the girls as they perused the fabrics adorning the walls. “Is that wise? A slave could lose her place with such gifts.” she asked, her polite tone barely hiding her disapproval. Benjamin sighed internally, ‘oh for fucks sake’ he groaned in his own mind before putting on facad, “I find that proper reward, afforded on the right servant can result in” he paused, projecting a smug expression and blatantly looking the girls up and down. “a profound dedication to their duties” he finished with a satisfied smile as the seamstress covered her mouth with a hand to hide a smile of her own. The gambit worked, and the Seamstress was obviously satisfied that the “Aereesen slave whores” were being properly “used”. “Ah, I understand. What did you have in mind for them.” She practically moaned back at Benjamin. ‘This hag needs a good pounding….’ Benjamin’s inner monologue threatened to crack his facade, “That’s the fun part, my good lady. It’s their choice. The surprise is half the excitement.” He chuckled.

The seamstress openly smiled at him this time before nodding and stepping over to the two girls. Benjamin breathed a sigh of relief as she seemed to treat them at least marginally more warmly. The old racist bag didn’t need to know that Benjamin was secretly building a small nest egg for his girls, or that his sending them out to do errands for him was how he was teaching them about money, value, and the application of Mathematics. She also didn’t need to know that the full Cutlery set that she had purchased last week had been made by Vi’s own hand as her first full solo commission set. Benjamin had stamped his “mark” on them, because slaves were not allowed to own anything, including their own work; but Vi had begun with raw steel and finished with one of the finest cooking knife sets he had seen in this world or his.

Benjamin settled onto a bench outside, using the excuse of wanting to enjoy the morning air to afford his girls some privacy. Now that Viola and Valtrya were eating a healthy diet, and the right calorie amount; they had blossomed into absolute bombshells. Their hair had recovered, and both sported long flowing locks that boasted a silky satin black color and texture that betrayed hints of deep royal purple. The color reminded Benjamin of one of those expensive custom car paints that changed color depending on the lighting.

Their skin recovered almost as quickly as their hair. The sickly, scabbed look was quickly replaced with the same satin quality as their hair to the touch, but with a light grey coloring that almost seemed to tease the edge of hinting at a greyish purple. A dense pattern of Small freckles of the same dark, almost royal, purple as the highlights in their hair frolicked on both girl’s cheeks, and down the sides of their necks. Because of their early lack of understanding on modestly, Ben knew that those freckles traveled much further. The sad truth was that Benjamin understood fully why Aereesen’s were the prize of slavers and brothels, and he silently prayed that he could give them enough self-worth and skill to have a better life than that, once he got them out of the Principality.

A door’s soft creaking broke Benjamin from his thoughts as the two sisters stepped out smiling, “Get everything you need?” he asked standing as the three of them departed the establishment. Val nodded vigorously, and Vi smiled as she spoke, “I think so, but I had to practically beg the woman to stop showing us lingerie… what did you tell her?” Benjamin felt his cheeks heat as he responded, “What I had to. The old hag doesn’t get enough at home. It’s not my fault that your ‘enthusiasm’ is in the forge and your studies, not between the sheets. I didn’t lie to her, I just let her draw her own conclusions, sorry.”

Vi’s eyes twinkled for a second, “Oh,” She smirked, “Thaaat’s why she broke out the silk. Some of her options were..” She blatantly bit her lip at Benjamin. “You didn’t…” He asked in shock, and Vi lifted up on her tippy toes to brush her lips against his ear, “Not telling” she purred, setting Bens senses on fire. She backed up a step, openly smirking at his beet red face. “But your expression is adorable… My Lord” She stated the last two words with a deep sultry tone, knowing that Ben couldn’t scold her in public before taking his hand, “May we visit the bazar next? Val saw some jewelry she wanted to look at.” Benjamin gave her a pointed look, that turned into a smile as she beamed at him, “Ok, sounds good. I need to pick up some food for the week.”

It was later that afternoon when the three of them left the bazar. They found Jukha waiting on the bench in front of their home. “Jukha! How are you!” Benjamin called, clasping the Orc’s hand firmly as the girls rushed inside to put up their purchases. Jukha reciprocated, if somewhat stiffly, to the strange to him gesture. “Benjamin, it is good to see you well.” His tone stopped Ben in his tracks, “What is it. Is your wife, ok?”
Jukha shook his head, “Vilora is well, but I have been tasked with finding you.” He said carefully, “The slaver, the one you dueled for those two,” he nodded to Vi and Val as they stepped back out of the building, “The Heir of The Romoregin house is here. He has lodged an official demand for satisfaction, and he brought a champion.”

Benjamin stiffened, “Another duel? You said an ‘official demand’… what happens if I refuse.” Jukha winced at Ben’s tone, “It is an archaic practice of my people, rarely remembered, and even more rarely demanded. You cannot deny a satisfaction claim, but should you prevail, no further claims can be made upon your person. I am sorry Benjamin, but if you flee or refuse, your life is forfeit; and your property goes to the claimant.” Jukha looked pointedly at Viola and Valtrya. “The young puke has put me in danger as well, if I do not deliver you and them to the duel, I can be detained. If they torture me….” Benjamin’s eyes widened before hardening in understanding. “Jukha…” He turned to find Viola standing next to him, with his musket in one arm and his ammunition bag in the other, and sighed, “Fuck”. He loaded his musket with a single roundball cartridge this time, unwilling to fire buck and ball in the town streets. He pealed the ball out of the paper wading after pouring the poweder, reaching into his haversack to retrieve a small round patch made of pillow ticking. Jukha looked on in mild fascination as Benjamin spit on the cloth patch before wrapping the ball in it and ramming the whole thing down the barrel. It wasn’t much, but it reduce windage, ensuring at least reasonable enough accuracy from the smoothbore to keep from hitting innocent bystanders. It would also virtually eliminate blow-by, upping the chamber pressure and giving him a little more velocity. “I’m ready.”

The four of them entered the small city square to be met with Qort and three Org guards. These soldiers wore different insignia that Benjamin had been taught were the mark of the capital. “Beenjaymen Shayfe” one of them butchered his name, “I am.” Ben nodded firmly, the other guard nodded, “And your two slaves, good. Has Jukha informed you of the proceedings.” Benjamin scowled, “A legalized way to attempt a revenge killing? Yea, I’ve been told.” Ben didn’t bother to hide his vitriol, “So I have to kill a motherfucker for defending myself from his father?”

“Not quite. The Heir has brought a champion. The rules are simple, all forms of combat are allowed” The first guard began as the second one began chaining the wrists of Viola and Valtrya. Benjamin began to move before thinking, only to be held back by Jukha, “Peace albino. They must do this. Fighting them will cause a forfeit.” Benjamin looked at the terrified faces of the two girls. He forced himself to calm down outwardly, but Benjamin could feel the rage building. He had worked so hard to save those two, to get them out.. now some snot nosed brat was going to try to kill him because his father didn’t know when to fuck off. Benjamin stepped out from around the guards. The “heir” was a young Durr. Ben had no frame of reference for age, but the Heir was substantially shorter, and his facial tentacles were almost mere buds. Beside him stood a crimson colossus, the same species as the Hunter he had shot saving Jukha. He was taller than that female, and was wearing plate armor, gilded in silver. He hefted a great sword of some kind and smiled openly at Benjamin. It was not a pleasant expression. “Ah, so You’re the puke I’ll be cleaning from my blade. I am Krastorin. Come here, pale one, I’ll make it quick.”

Benjamin looked him over, subtly shifting into a shooting stance but keeping his musket looking like he was resting the butt of a spear on the ground. “You look accomplished, what makes you do the bidding of the boy.” He asked, blatant scorn on his tone. The Young Durr flinched, his small tentacle buds writhing violently. “H’Dare Yee!” he bellowed, voice cracking with the strain of fury, “Aye’ll ‘ave Yee Head on Me’Wall!!”
Benjamin ignored him, focusing on the Hellirine. The man looked back at the boy with a raised eyebrow, “The young puke promised me one of those.” He pointed at Vi and Val, who had reverted to their former trembling submissive postures that Ben had met them in. “It appears that they are as well kept as claimed. I look forward to sampling them.” He leered. Benjamin looked over at the Young Durr and found his face a mixture of relief and anger. ‘Ah, lied about daddy’s slaves.’ He turned to the soldier standing next to him, “Is the duel on?” he growled.

“Combatants! Begin!” was the Soldiers response, and the crimson mercenary lifted his sword from his shoulders advancing forward with a long confident stride, “at last, let’s get this over wi..” a clap of thunder echo’d through the Feral wood, and most of the crowd cried out in surprise as Benjamin disappeared, seemingly behind a bubble of fire, and brimstone. The single round ball ignored the mercenary’s plate armor. Punching straight through as the soft lead mushroomed out into a ragged disk that measured almost an inch and a half. The mangled projectile, still travelling at almost half the speed of sound, eviscerated the chest cavity of the Mercenary before blowing a one foot wide hole out of the crimson man’s back. The exit wound missed Krastorin’s spine by an inch, but it didn’t matter. The projectile embedded itself into a post, thankfully missing any bystanders by mere inches in some cases. The Young Durr, who was standing just behind and to the side of his champion, was screaming as he pawed at the bits of pale yellow blood, bones, and fragments of internal organs now covering him from head to toe.

Benjamin handed the smoking musket to Jukha, drawing his short sword and walking over to a sputtering, choking, and coughing Krastorin. The Hellirine lay face down on the ground, having fallen that way from the momentum of his initial advance. The back of Benjamins mind was sickly amused as he remembered the old Hollywood trope of bullets throwing people backward, and a pinch of regret sparked in his soul as his opponent death rattled. He stepped up to the Heir, resting the blade against his neck, “Are we done here. Be a better man than your father and learn when to save your own life.” The Young Durr froze, staring up at him in abject terror for several moments as a puddle formed at his feet. Benjamin opened his mouth to speak again when the boy simply passed out, falling into the puddle of his own mess as his mind refused to stay conscious.

Benjamin turned to walk back towards Jukha and the girls. “Unchain them.” Benjamin’s tone could have frozen a raging forge’s inferno. To his surprise, two of the soldiers drew their weapons on him, “You need to come with us. All Touched must be registered with...” Benjamin pointed his short sword at the one talking… and pulled the trigger. The percussion revolver built into the hilt of the short sword was zero’d using a notch Benjamin cut into the crossguard, and the tip of the curved blade as a crude set of open sights. The barrel of the revolver lay along one side of the blade, and was rifled. The speaking soldier orc’s took the smaller pistol round through the forehead, exploding the back of his skull in a cone of dark green and grey mist. The exit wound showered his companion in bits of bone and brains. Benjamin’s thumb found the hammer, and four satisfying clicks echo’d in the stunned silence, “HEAR ME!” He growled, “I, am touched by the Gods. I posses the power to end any life I choose using the power of Hell itself!” ‘if I have to show them a gun, might as well throw them off the trail’ “The violence of the raging volcano obeys my very fingertips.” His revolvesword bucked a second time as another soldier orc made a move to rush him. The smaller pistol round still punched through the orcs armor and out the back, but only left him screaming on the ground. Benjamin re-cocked, and leveled his weapon at the orc holding the chains to Val and Vi. “Now, release them.” This last remaining Orc did as asked, before gathering up his screaming companion as the girls rushed to Benjamin, he pulled them close, whispering, “I’m sorry we wont be able to pick up your dresses.”

The three of them packed up that night. Qort had understood, knowing all too well what the Principality would do to acquire a Touched of Benjamins ability. “Stay safe my friend. I pray our paths cross again.” Jukha snuck them out of the village that night, using his wagon to get them to his home. They stayed a week, laying low while they planned their next move. The girls spent their time learning recipes from Jukha’s wife, and ben took the time to unwind a bit. Jukha and He went on a hunt, and Benjamin was given a run down on the flora and fauna of the Feral wood. The two of them brought back a pair of Stags, and the three women cooked them a feast.

“Dinner’s ready!!” called Viola, setting the last of the sides on the table as the dutch oven roasted meat was brought off of the stove top. It was a simple yet elegant meal. Stag, potatoes, some kind of Kale style vegetable that Benjamin had never seen before. Soon enough, everyone at the table was leaning back, as full as they could make themselves. “So, pinkskin,” Jukha asked, “Where do you plan on going. I wouldn’t mind you staying with me. I could use another hunter, but I suspect that they would notice the extra product I brought to the village.”

Benjamin Hummed, “The Maridian Combine. Qort told me that they banned slavery over a century ago, the girls have learned so much already. It would be easy to find jobs for them.” Vi and Val drooped slightly but hid it well. Jukha noticed it but said nothing. “A good choice, their boarders are well guarded, you would need to free them before you cross, or end up in a dungeon yourself.”

“Good point, I can write up a simple writ of freedom. Something I can sign and give to them.” Benjamin nodded, “I can get started on that to…” he paused as a hand fell on his. He looked to see Viola staring at him, fighting back tears, “Hey, what’s wrong. You will be free…” Jukha nodded slowly and stood. “love,” he said to Vilora, “I need some help with the livestock” The Farie met his eyes in unspoken understanding, fluttering out the front door with Jukha.

“Vi, what’s wrong.” Benjamin asked gently.

“No… go… Val… stay…” Both of them turned to Valtrya in shock. She was trembling, “I wont..leave.”

“You speak?” Benjamin looked in shock, but Viola spoke next, “Benjamin, we don’t want to leave. We want to stay, with you. I…” She paused. Ben sighed, “I want you to stay too.” He said, finally admitting it to himself, “But I can’t own you. It’s killing me that you are my property.” He reached up and wiped a tear from Vi’s eyes, “You are so much more than property. I feel evil, every day that I wake up knowing that I could do anything I wanted to you, or worse, die and have someone else hurt you for the fun of it.” Benjamin bowed his head. Viola reached out, lifting his chin to look into his eyes, “Then come with us.” She whispered as Val stood up and stepped around the table, “yes.. You, come.” She wrapped herself around Ben from the side leaning in until she was resting her head against his shoulder, “I’m… staying.. with you.” she said softly. Viola nodded, “Benjamin, how old do you think we are.”

Ben looked at her in confusion, “I have no idea, I’ve always assumed you were teenagers. 13-14 years old for Val, maybe 16 for you, but that was when you were skin and bones.” He admitted.

Viola’s eyes widened in understanding. “You did not want to bed us because you thought us children.” Benjamin nodded slowly, answering. “And forcing sex on a child is the worst kind of crime on my world”. Viola and Valtrya looked at each other, before Vi spoke. “Ben, my sister will turn one hundred and three in a fortnight. I just had my one hundred and fifteenth birthday last week.” She leaned in, pressing her lips to Bens as she kissed him passionately for a moment. “We are no children,” Viola paused as Valtrya leaned in, kissing Ben lightly on the neck, “You are not forcing us to do anything, but leave.” Viola whispered as she began to close in to a surprised Benjamin for another kiss.

The door to the cabin flew open violently, and the girls pulled back to a more modest distance. Jukha walked in, carrying a panting Vilora. “What happened.” Ben asked hurriedly, hoping he wasn’t blushing as hard as the heat on his cheeks suggested. Vilora waved a hand as Jukha set her down in her chair, “The Vin… My sisters… they reached out… They wish to meet…” The Farie gathered herself, “They also sent a warning. We must leave, tonight… hunters.”
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If you made it this far, I very much appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed the episode! If you believe I have earned it, I have a Patreon that is two episodes ahead of the free releases for this series. I hope you feel taking a look is worth it. Either way, come hang out in the comments. Everyone's welcome! I've discovered Im a bit of a "warts and all" poster, so even critical comments are welcome. Hell, You might even teach me something (it happens more than I'd like to admit).
I have heard people off and on reference Royal road, So I am going to give it another shot. I'll be adding the Royal Road link from now on. If you like reading over there, It is on the same schedule as here. I would greatly appreciate a like/review/comment if you feel so inclined. Thank you again for stopping by.
First, Previous, Next (Patreon) Royal Road

Female, 22, 4'8 height & weight 103lb
I have been experiencing left side of neck pain that was a little worse about a month or two ago when it started & now I'll occasionally feel it. At first it was like a pinch under my left jaw & left collarbone & neck, I felt it mostly when i'd start to worry about stuff. Right now I just smoked a posh & i felt it again (sarted smoking again this week after years of stopping, I started because of my anxiety) I think it's my lymph node that starts to hurt. I'm worried because I had mono in January & I didnt start to feel this discomfort in my neck until like April I want to say. I already did my google searches & it says lymphoma. I had a ENT appointment but I canceled due to the amount of money I will not be able to pay upfront. Other than cancer what else can cause this pain in my neck? I thought it went away but I still occasionally feel it sometimes even when I gulp down water or something cold? Can any doctor please help me out. I am going to make an appointment tomorrow morning but my anxiety is making me feel worse right now. Thanks in advance

Female, 22, 4'8 height & weight 103lb
I have been experiencing left side of neck pain that was a little worse about a month or two ago when it started & now I'll occasionally feel it. At first it was like a pinch under my left jaw & left collarbone & neck, I felt it mostly when i'd start to worry about stuff. Right now I just smoked a posh & i felt it again (sarted smoking again this week after years of stopping, I started because of my anxiety) I think it's my lymph node that starts to hurt. I'm worried because I had mono in January & I didnt start to feel this discomfort in my neck until like April I want to say. I already did my google searches & it says lymphoma. I had a ENT appointment but I canceled due to the amount of money I will not be able to pay upfront. Other than cancer what else can cause this pain in my neck? I thought it went away but I still occasionally feel it sometimes even when I gulp down water or something cold? Can any doctor please help me out. I am going to make an appointment tomorrow morning but my anxiety is making me feel worse right now. Thanks in advance

Female, 22, 4'8 height & weight 103lb
I have been experiencing left side of neck pain that was a little worse about a month or two ago when it started & now I'll occasionally feel it. At first it was like a pinch under my left jaw & left collarbone & neck, I felt it mostly when i'd start to worry about stuff. Right now I just smoked a posh & i felt it again (sarted smoking again this week after years of stopping, I started because of my anxiety) I think it's my lymph node that starts to hurt. I'm worried because I had mono in January & I didnt start to feel this discomfort in my neck until like April I want to say. I already did my google searches & it says lymphoma. I had a ENT appointment but I canceled due to the amount of money I will not be able to pay upfront. Other than cancer what else can cause this pain in my neck? I thought it went away but I still occasionally feel it sometimes even when I gulp down water or something cold? Can any doctor please help me out. I am going to make an appointment tomorrow morning but my anxiety is making me feel worse right now. Thanks in advance

Former UCI. Graduated years ago. Just to put my few cents here.
I hope no right minded students in UCI or any university will be far sided with the protestors.
This protest has gone out of the original meaning. Many will say this is historic event and this was non violent. However, there has been vandalizing, destruction of property, physical contacts made during the protest which is not your typical "peaceful protest".
I've been to every protest in SoCal, only observing from afar or from the car. There's been nothing but hate and destruction... and trash/smoking weed in their "camp".
I am mostly sure there was protestors who were not students and had extreme hate for Israel/USA that joined to spread propaganda or false information.
Going back .. to early 1900s, when Israelites came back to live in Israel, Palestinians did not like that and actually denied peace treaty that Israelites offered, which mainly included hefty payments and attacked them. Much similar way Hamas did.
Social media has done great job on focusing the war on "Genocide". All wars have casualty and if this wasn't the case USA should be forever damned for bombing Japan in WW2. Israel did give out fair warning before advancing. To be fair, friendly fire, accidental coordination strikes and other mistakes are common in war. But to take these mistakes and marking them as "Planned Attack" is just plain stupid. Israel would not be that dumb to purposely attack civilians. Most of the civilian deaths are those who did not leave when was given warning to leave the area.
What many fail to understand is, if Israel stops war right now it'll be over for Israel as the world will see that Israel has admit 100% fault in this war. Then the funding of Hamas from other countries will begin, USA and EU will not be able to help Israel then, because technically they will be helping the guilty. Then we'll be losing the only Middle East ally.
This is not the Vietnam era where "Stop the Draft (thus stop the war)" protest worked. This is far beyond what USA could bargain into.
It's more complicated than just "Stop war, Stop funding Israel" at this point. Remember that Israel has nuclear weapon. If cornered, the nukes can go off at any point and the chain reaction could causes WW3. Bad time especially when Russia is agitated and China is growing more military power and nukes, while EU is losing more and more power.
Protest like this will only increase tension between US and foreign affairs, allow extremists to work within these protest and vulnerable minds. The violence, camping, trashing, vandalizing, distracting students and etc. definitely is not the way.
(Biden is old and the election is coming soon. He'll likely do whatever he can to take more votes. He'll side both with the protestors/students and Israel. Whatever he chooses, it'll backfire because he's doing it for the votes.)

Car really hardly vibrates around intake mainfliod, throttle body, purge valve, air intake assembly. Car throws a evap code p0422 got it smoked it was holding fine mechanic that smoked it says it was the charcoal canister since I have already change the purge valve put I wouldn't think that a charcoal canister can cause all of that when I press down on the throttle body on intake manifold it goes away sparks and coils just recently got changed and all motor plus trans mount and help would be much appreciated this issue drives me crazy lol. Also it only really happens at idle stops when in N

Its blatant corruption.
Seeing how many innocent people fear for their lives because they smoked a joint ages ago, how there's countless posts and updates on here Facebook etc, it's crazy.
The cops are corrupt. It's as simple as that. Take it from someone who grew up in Russia and Eastern Europe. They are power tripping hard and showing off their ticket numbers as a an achievement.
This won't stop when a rich guy gets pulled over, they have lawyers to take care of it and the other 99% will still be fucked.
People need to start organizing.
Reddit posts won't change this
It's sad to see that our tax payer money is spent on abusing the taxpayers. Homelessness is running rampant, drugs are all over the streets, more violent crime, but nah let's ticket people for smoking weed because Scott Moe got butthurt.

Maybe a bit dramatic title but I just can’t with my parents anymore. My parents have done nothing for me. In fact like many African parents all they did was abuse me and traumatize me and take advantage of me then send me out into the world unprepared with no social, romantic, or professional skills and experience. You know how our parents say we are ungrateful, etc but I have stopped to think about it and really they just did enough to keep me alive as a kid but by the time I was around 8 or 9 years old I took care of myself and my younger siblings. My parents made me quit any extracurricular activities I wanted to pursue after 2-3 months because they said it was a waste of time since I wasn’t good at them (how can a 9yo who has been doing gymnastics be some kind of prodigy after just a few weeks, most kids start these activities as toddlers). My parents were very strict, emotionally abusive, used religion as a weapon, etc as many African parents do but the craziest thing is that I didn’t need it. I was a good kid. I did as I was told, was obedient and respectful and everything else. When I was a teenager my parents were expecting some big rebellion and got even more strict and controlling. The things I wanted to do were play volleyball on my high school team and go to the museum or the movies with friends and they acted liked I wanted to sneak out at night to get drunk and do drugs at parties. The other crazy thing is my younger siblings were the ones who snuck out, had friends going down a bad path, would go out shoplifting, smoke and drank, one of my sisters friends even got pregnant…. But my parents were clueless and didn’t listen to me when I brought these things up because they said I was the one in charge of raising my siblings. How was I supposed to handle it these are not my kids and I’m a child myself.
When I was graduating high school I only applied to universities out of province, my parents said I couldn’t just go out at 18 and live without family. So I accepted a school that was in the city my grandma lived in and she said I could stay with her. My parents “surprised” me a few days before I was set to leave by telling me that they sold the house and are moving with me so that we could still live together. All through uni I paid for my own stuff (tuition, supplies, food, bills, etc) while working and still helping my parents around the house, with my siblings, and with their business. I moved out during Covid lockdown and was still working my way through school and began to help my family financially when they lost everything. Now 4 years later my credit is screwy because I’m renting 3 apartments, have 7 phone contracts, 3 internet contracts, 4 cars, and a bunch of other stuff taken out in my name by my parents. I was working myself ragged trying to keep up with everything and after all I have sacrificed my whole life for my family, my parents continue to take advantage and expect more from me. I can’t support a family of 7 working my barely over minimum wage jobs.
I’ve been in therapy since I moved out and have been trying to distance myself and set boundaries with my family but it’s hard while they’re still so codependent on me but I seriously don’t think I will make it until the next year when certain conditions and contracts and things are over and I can start separating myself from them again. Idk what has changed in the last 8-10 months but my parents have been trying to get back into my life and control me again and I have been fighting it but I’m running out of energy and they keep surprising me in the worst way possible. A few months ago my mom got rid of my cat while I was at work because she doesn’t like cats. I’ve started dating again and almost every day she calls me while I’m out or says she needs something and just interrupts my dates. I have been unemployed for a bit and now my mom is trying to convince me to get rid of my apartment and buy a house so we can all live together again. Buy a house in this economy on my barely over minimum wage salary?? Sick joke first of all. Live under the same roof as my parents again? I would die before even considering that as a valid option.
I really started writing this post with a different direction in mind but it has turned into a rant and the reminder or motivation I needed to keep going. I’ve got a loose 3 year plan going to get away once and for all. In 1 year most of the financial obligations will be ending and I won’t be renewing them in my name so I can start to fix my credit and actually save money towards my goals. After about a year and a half of fixing my finances I hope to be able to save enough to move out of province or even out of country. Ive still been looking for a job in my area of study but the job market is insane right now. I’ve been strategically applying for positions in national companies so that I can relocate when I fix my financial situation with my family. When it gets closer to the time I also plan on looking internationally because I fear my parents will pull a “surprise” like my high school graduation where they end up following me because they can’t give up control.
I feel pretty good about my plan most of the time but just knowing how long it’s realistically going to take is the discouraging part. Any advice on how to speed things up or anything about my plan you would do differently?

Written 5/8/2024- updates attached below

I tried posting this on kendrick almost a week ago and it got no response, I messaged the mods to ask about Karma restrictions or account age requirements and they never replied. I made a new account and it was the same issue, but I found out last night I wasn’t fully banned, so I figured I’d throw it up and see if anyone finds it valuable. It’s written for people who have no prior knowledge of the rap game/music business. I don’t have to go as hard on obscuring names this time. One of the influencers I mentioned in my last post is known for doxxing and threatening violence against people who mention the many contradictions in their stories. (Sorry for any typos/mistakes I want to go to bed.)
Origins
I believe the current Drake and Kendrick Lamar beef is either completely or partially fabricated by certain industry leaders or the parties involved in an effort to distract from something bigger going down behind the scenes. If you were an influential label owner facing major accusations, and you needed to deflect media attention from yourself, recreating one of the most defining moments in rap history during the social media era would be a way to do it. It also wouldn’t hurt that two of the biggest rappers in the world were already sending shots at each other in their music for years prior. The public consensus is they are simply two famous rappers who hate each other and fighting over the spot for the top like in the 90’s. Only people who were directly involved could paint a more cohesive picture of the whole story. Even when all the cards drop, there is a good chance the average person won’t be able to find direct sources on their own and will continue to support their favorite artists and dismiss any evidence of their crimes like the drizzy subreddit or Ak fans.

As I said the beef between Kendrick and Drake has been brewing in the background for years, with both rappers sending shots and sneak dissing each other over the course of at least 8 years. The most agreed upon origin story is the first diss was the 2016 Big Sean and Kendrick collaboration, “Control,” and Drake responded with, “The Language”. Things stayed relatively lighthearted for a while and both were intentionally vague for many years. Before I go deep into the Kendrick and Drake stuff, it’s really important to examine some of Drake’s prior beefs because they add a ton of context to my theory. In my opinion Kendrick and Co. started scheming all of this some time around Mid 2020-Mid 2022, well after the whole Pusha T beef had transitioned into the Kanye beef.

What exactly started the beef is debatable, but at the time many attributed it to rumors of Drake pursuing Ye’s ex Amber Rose. Unfortunately the timeline isn’t 100 percent clear, and if I included every detail this would be at least 200+ pages so I’ll stick with the important stuff. The ultimate outcome of the Pusha T battle in 2018 was the revelation of Drake’s son Adidon that he had previously been hiding from the world along with getting Ye directly involved in the beef.

Here are some more examples of Drake antagonizing Ye and of him trying to use women as pawns to get material for his diss tracks. The Drake line, “Yeah, I probably go link to Yeezy, I need me some Jesus, but as soon as I start confessin' my sins, he wouldn't believe us," could be a reference to sleeping with Kim Kardashian, trying to double down on his threats to harm him or his family, or it could be a double entendre. Another example is using the name Kiki in another song, which was apparently one of Kim’s nicknames. Some other possible examples include the theories he may have tried the same thing with Kendrick’s wife Whitney around 2020-2021 in an attempt to use as ammo against Kendrick, which I’ll go into later. I don’t listen to much of either artist's music, but there are probably many of other examples in Drake’s catalogue that I’m leaving out. There is also his song Omerta released in 2019, which I'll go into below.

“Your baby mother call me when she lonely My tailor see me twice a week, he like my homie Forever grateful, forever thankful Diamond necklace, but she wears it on her ankle”

(Probably referring to Kim Kardashian since she had a few pictures with her wearing diamond ankle bracelets and was trying to make it into a trend.

“I plan to buy your most personal belongings when they up for auction”

(There were various rumors floating around for a while that Drake was blackmailing Ye with something and he was fighting to keep it from the public. I thought about it and this line might be referencing a sex tape with Kim or her little sister who me was very touch before she turned 18. In 2022 there was a whole storyline on Kim’s show where Ye flies to LA to prevent her second sex tape from being released.)

West Hollywood, know my presence is menacing
Cosa Nostra, shady dealings
Racketeering, the syndicate got they hand in plenty things The things that we've done to protect the name are unsettling But no regrets, though, the name'll echo Years later, none greater
Death to a coward and a traitor, that's just in my nature, yeah
(Drake and Ye both frequented the Delilah Nightclub located in West Hollywood and lived closeby on the same street for a while.)
"I don't carry cash 'cause the money is digital
It's the American Expresser, the debt collector"

(Sounds a lot more like it could be crypto to launder or send large amounts of ill gotten gains. It started becoming mainstream around them)

"Last year, niggas really feel like they rode on me
Last year, niggas got hot 'cause they told on me
I'm 'bout to call the bluff of anybody the fold on me"

These lines stood out because they could be referring to Ye telling the public about Drake's alleged threats a couple months before the songs release. This happened not long after the release of Sicko mode which was towards the end of 2018 as well. Ye was discussing the incident on Twitter and reached out to Drake and Travis to talk to him in private. In the next set of tweets Kanye publicly accused Drake of threatening him and his family in a major way. Surprisingly Ye seemed genuinely scared and amongst his, “crazy rants,” some of the stuff he said makes a ton of sense in hindsight. This also the beginning of his second serious public struggles with Bipolar disorder after being committed in 2016 shortly after an on stage rant where he calls out Jay Z for selling out and says he's afraid he might kill him.. As someone who shares the same diagnosis, I have a pretty good understanding of mania and psychosis and firmly believe that it's important not to write people off right away due to their mental illness. Some of my most thoughtful, creative, and productive periods were inspired by mania. Industry bigwigs have also been using mental illness to discredit influential black celebrities and visionaries going back decades, but it really picked up in the 80’s.

Dave Chappelle has gone into this a lot in the past and claims he experienced something similar before he quit show business and dipped to Africa. Their stories have a lot of interesting parallels if you’re familiar or curious. I remember he actually visited Ye at his house in Wyoming after he was reported to have had a, "mental breakdown," during his presidential run in 2020 thus marking his third breakown in six years.. The reason I put it in quotes is because it happened right after he publicly accused Kim of cheating and delivered his legendary speech on abortion. Dave went as far as going on live tv and telling the public he wasn’t crazy, he was just really struggling because he was the only one at the time fighting against the narrative, which can often be a suicide mission or a ticket to obscurity. These are three examples of someone speaking up and being deemed crazy, two years later came the nazi stuff and I'm sure we'll have plenty in store for 2024.

This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the very common pattern of artists dying or having their careers destroyed either after they try to leave their label or threaten to reveal industry secrets. A few more interesting industry connections I made in my research include the connections between:

T.U.G. records and J Cole's independent label Dreamville are both managed by Interscope Records, whose parent company is Universal Music Group.

Universal Music Group also hac Drake's label OvO label as well as Ye and Kendrick's old labels on their roster before they left to form their own independent labels in 2022 (around the same time the disses between Kendrick and Drake started escalating). Finally Bad Boy Records, which is owned by Diddy, and Motown Records who own Diddy's other R&B label Love Records, are also both owned by Universal. This means every label I mention is currently or was previously owned by Universal Music Group.

Ye tried for years to get out of his contract with Defjam, which happens to be ran by Jay Z who is known to be a close associate of Diddy. Jay would always used his money and power to fight against it. Ye even spoke out publicly on a few occasions, including when he said Jay Z was trying to kill him during one of his concerts. My theory is after years of getting nowhere and having his reputation skewered, in 2022 Ye finally said, "Fuck it," and dropped all the anti- Semetic stuff intentionally in a successful attempt to force his label to into using their morality clause, which requires labels to drop an artist if they're accused of any major controversy that could hurt the label’s profits. For the fourth time in four years the media reported he was having a breakdown. Even though they tried to punish him by cutting off all of his sources of income and freezing his accounts he still managed to bounce back pretty quickly. It was often reported how much he was losing, but it rarely discussed how he still was filthy rich in spite of the retrictions. His label wanted to discourage other artists from trying the same thing. My theory is he might have bought Kim or Kylie's alleged sex tape and used it for his own leverage. For Kendrick, his transition to his independent label ApLang went a lot smoother, but he had to split ownership of his new label with the previous manager owner Dave Free. Sadly it's still difficult for new or more niche artists to establish themselves without the some help.

He may be a lot of things but Ye isn’t dumb just because he has a mood disorder and the guys at the top know this, which is why I think he has really played up his diagnosis when it benefitted him. He’s still one of the most talented musicians in the game and I really think he sees his bipolar like a superpower as he says. It’s like his own invisibility cloak. He can go off his meds for a little, make an album after staying up for 72 hours, go on a “psychotic” twitter rant dropping facts throughout, then start up again once he makes enough news headlines. I think it’s worth noting the first divorce rumors in 2020 coincided with Ye’s abortion speech during his presidential run and the cheating accusations. that led to him dropping out and moving to Wyoming, and a couple months ago in February 2024 he was committed again.

The point I’m making is bipolar is complex, but pretty manageable especially if you have a ton of money to find meds that work for you and a good doctor and can keep substance abuse and stress at a manageable level. I think Ye is smart enough to know this, but it’s just safer for him to really play up the mental issues in the media. He’s proven he can literally say whatever he wants after getting cancelled and the average person is just going to write it off as psycho babble. While bias in health care is a sad fact of society, if you can use it to your advantage I say go for it. It might’ve just kept the microscope off of him long enough to plan his attack.

Ye v. Drake: Quotes of 2018
(Start of the beef, drake threats, and suspicion towards Kardashian family. )

“ It’s not about rap. It’s about family. We have to be close as a family and never let these people infiltrate just for radio spins”

“We need to show the world that people can talk without people ending up dead or in jail.”

”This is a man speaking to a man that has been placed in the program to fuck with Kanye West head and set me up“

”See when you care about your family you don’t let no man push you to do nothing that could risk your freedom“

These first four tweets by Ye were all in reference to perceived threats made by Drake after their beef escalated circa 2018. He began speaking on the industry and talking more about his psych hospital commitment two years prior and how he thought they were going to kill him. It's pretty obvious how the whole thing was planned by the sketchy doctor who called it in and his physical trainer who has a ton of connections to weird shit involving his celebrity clients.

I found interesting that Ye might not have been the first major league rapper whose life Drake threatened. During a similar period of mental illness the up and coming rapper XXXtentacion accused Drake of stealing his flow and dissed him a few times. Not long after he made a post online saying if he dies, it was Drake who did it. There are tons of conspiracies online, but none of the evidence is strong enough to draw a definitive connection. Also while it maybe be coincidental, Kendrick’s latest album Mr Morale also painted the picture that Kendrick was dealing with some serious personal issues. Some lines throughout the album may have been used to bait Drake into escalating, but it wasn’t until The Weekend, Future, and Metro Booming dropped, “We Don’t Trust You,” then Drake and J. Cole dropped, “First Person Shooter,” which was followed a couple days later with, “Like That,” where Kendrick started the chain of events that has led us to today.

Kanye vs. Drake: Quotes of 2020

Summary: Ye runs for president and gets suppressed for saying what very well could be the truth and was immediately deemed insane by the media. Kim did a couple interviews and everything he said was immediatly false. There is almost guarenteed to be some sketchy shit going down revolving her and her family. Ye was absolutely terrified of her keeping the kids away from him and it seems like there are still efforts being made to this day to paint a certain image of him for ulterior motives.

Below are six more quotes from a fan taking a deep dive into his 2020 tweets courtesy of u/ thehatstore42069 on Yeezy
”NORTHY I AM GOING TO WAR AND PUTTING MY LIFE ON THE LINE AND IF I AM MURDERED DON’T EVER LET WHITE MEDIA TELL YOU I WASNT A GOOD MAN,” West, 43, wrote in the tweet, adding, “WHEN PEOPLE THREATEN TO TAKE YOU OUT OF MY LIFE JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU”

"I need a public apology from J Cole and Drake to start with immediately... I'm Nat Turner... I'm fighting for us."

"the utmost respect for all brothers" and said "we need to link and respect each other... no more dissing each other on labels we don't own"

"Ye is constantly trying to tell people that his family does not have his or his kids best interests at heart. He goes on to list others, linking them together with the thinking emoji. These people include rap artist Drake and Larsa Pippen, wife of Scottie Pippe. Kim K is goddaughter to Pippen's daughter, showing how close the families actually are. All of these families that associate with Ye through Kardashian connections, as well as Drake, have been accused of the same thing Kris has. EVERY SINGLE ONE of these people have mixed race children that are groomed from a young age to fuck around with celebrities so the parents can remain famous. Drake on numerous occasions has been accused of grooming girls and then getting handsy on their 18th birthday.”

“These labels want their artists to make them money and they dont care about anything else. When Kanye says things like this in an attempt to expose him, the first thing they wanna do is drug him up and put him back in the studio.”
“Righteous indignation is typically a reactive emotion of anger over mistreatment, insult, or malice of another. It is akin to what is called the sense of injustice. This is how they keep the black man down. Keep people outraged about trivial things and distract them from the real issues in the world. The real problems in the industry. If you tell people enough times that they are unequal or discriminated against they start to believe it. Drug them when they step out of line and toss them aside when the checks run out. Ye is realizing he is pawn in a bigger game, and now that he has all these roots in the game such as Yeezy or the Gap or his music, too many people cant risk (Afford) a Ye who speaks his mind.”
(End of quotes)

Amongst the twitter rant, Ye warned about the predatory nature of record deals and discussed trying to get out of his own deal, and said again how his life may be in danger if it wasn’t already and was doing anything he could to protect his kids. The most fascinating part to me though is the public call to arms he made to Drake, J Cole, and Kendrick on twitter. After inviting them to all link up, he said, “It’s time to get free, we will not argue amongst each other while some guy we don’t know in Europe is getting paid and putting that money in a hedge fund.” I believe if Ye was able to pull off this meeting, there is an ever so slight chance that all four artists might be working together to take down a greater enemy. Weirdly there have been times throughout the last couple years where these supposed enemies were photographed together being friendly or praise each other in interviews, then out of no where the disses would start flying again.

To wrap things up I want to share my a few of my theories about the Drake/Kanye beef

A. Everything is exactly as it seems and the beef is over. Ye let his mental illness ruin his life and career so Drake simply picked another target after Ye stopped putting out disses. All of these connections are just a coincidence and all of this was choreographed to boost Drake and Kendrick’s music sales and possibly distract people from the Diddy trial and possibly the complicated geopolitical issues currently facing the U.S.

C. There is also the possibility that all four rappers are in cahoots and Drake’s dirt isn’t as extreme as people are theorizing, at least in comparison to the rest of the business. This could explain why everything has played out like a movie and how they were able to predict each other’s moves so well. This could either mean they’re all just trying to boost their sales or they’re all trying to take down the “slave masters,” as Ye calls them, and change the dynamic of the music industry in favor of the artist.

D. They may be trying to help their friends in the industry who are being abused or in shitty contracts. I know a lot of famous rappers have done a lot of collaborations with Jhene Aiko and Anderson Paak, who were both signed to T.U.G. records which I mentioned above in the connections to Universal Music Group. Considering they are both frequent collaborators with all of the artists involved on both sides, it’s not unlikely they may have played some part in influencing the takedown.

T.U.G was started by Chris Stokes with his partner Ketrina Askew. Back in the early to mid 90’s were gaining popularity attracting lots of young up and coming talent. They often collaborated with Diddy and his associates. In the 2000’s Raz B from the boy band B2K claimed he was molested by Stokes and his friend Marques Houston, then quickly retracted his claims. Years later he came forward again and said we was bribed into silence and that the rest of the victims were bribed with hush money and had another singer corroborate his story and they came forward together to level the accusations. After some of his former B2K members made fun of him for his claims and accused it of being a shakedown, Raz B revealed Stokes and Houston had preyed a lot of the children associated with the label including at least one of the former bandmates and paid them off.

I thought it was worth noting that the second whistleblower named Quindon Tarver died young in a car crash after mentioning his abuse again a few years prior. He seems to have left the industry not long after the incidents occurred and has few credits to his name. To this day Raz B is still trying to get his justice, while Stokes and his partner Askew, who was also involved in the abuse are still running the label to this day. Askew also has a ton of lawsuits, accusing her of using shady tactics to try to foreclose on houses. (Don’t quote me if a lawyer wants to take a look just google her full name), and has been tied to a ton of LLCs, similar to Drake. This is a good example of a shitty record deal, but I'm sure they have countless other friends in the industry who have even worse. While they were never convicted even Chris Stokes' wife confirmed it to be true.

E. The theory I personally think fits the narrative best and is the most realistic conspiracy is that Kendrick and possibly J. Cole went to the meeting, but not Drake due to his close relationship with Lucian Grange, the president of Drake’s label. Silence often speaks louder than words and this could explain why Kendrick was so ruthless and put so much effort into finding dirt on Drake. Ye, Cole, and Kendrick co-writing would be like the rap allstar team and if J. Cole wasn’t involved, it would also answer the question of whether or not he baited Drake into the battle by asking him to feature. I don’t think Drake is really their primary target though, which would explain letting him off easy. Compared to his bosses and their bosses he’s a small fish. If you take the big guys down you stand a better chance of landing a bigger blow on their operation.

Another really interesting connection is Kendrick and Ye were both signed under Universal Music Group and they both got out of their deals around couple months apart in 2022. As we speak U.M.G’s CEO Lucian Grange, who is often acccused of giving Drake special treatment, is facing charges related to sex trafficking by no other than P Diddy. This could very well explain the timing of it all. The craziest timeline would be Diddy masterminding all of this and using his connections to get it done and all the allegations are bullshit. The guy does seem pretty confident all things considered and constantly posts himself in his Batman costume which could mean he’s a vigilante.

It seems like there's a slight religious angle as well. (Ye and Diddy are both very vocal advocates of Christianity and Drake and Lucian Grange are both Jewish.) Obviously this is a reach, but they’ve been saying rap music was specifically promoted by mostly white label owners in the 80’s to help in the ongoing effort to expedite the systematic oppression of those living in black neighborhoods and the destruction of their family systems. Apparently it was an intentional decision to heavily promote rappers that promoted the very things that were destroying their neighborhoods. (So people know I'm and atheist and have zero agenda, I just thought it was interesting, please stay away from anything antisemitic. War is wrong on both sides.)

*** If my favorite theory is true, there is a possibility the Kendrick and Ye are going after Drake due to their mutual disdain for him and because he’s got a ton of power to dominate the charts and hog the radio airtime like Meek Mill and OG Maco claimed years ago. Even him dropping a record the same day as you could really fuck your album sales up. I’m also sure some of the many rumors throughout the years have had a least some truth and he will most likely snitch to avoid cell block one. I think that Drake could have been instructed to instigate this whole mess in order to draw attention away from the UMG charges brought about by Diddy. Or on the other hand it could be that Kendrick, Ye, and possibly Cole, may have had intel that Drake was going to be involved in the Diddy trial and are just gonna let the receipts show themselves. It might not have been the original plan, but they’ve already accomplished their mission of humiliating him, assuring he couldn’t use his influence to slide through the cracks, and taking over the throne.

Please take everything I say with a grain of salt I have no connection to this world or lifestyle. Regardless I believe all of the knowledge above does a pretty solid job at painting a picture of what may have let up to this and what may have been the source.
——————————-
More details found the last couple days…

Drake and Diddy Connections+Coincidences

Drake- In the P Diddy wig video from 2016 he talks about going to party with Drake, Cash, and The Weeknd in Toronto. Drake is also one of Birdman’s protégées who is known for being a predator and is rumored to have used label artists to lure young women.

Travis Scott- Interview where he comes out and says Diddy tried to lure him. Still has a long history of associating with him, video of him running from Diddy, his connection to Ruby Rose while underage.

Tim Westwood- Diddy had connections with sex offender Tim Westwood who also inspired the Drake song, “Westwood”. They also both were victims of drive by shootings along with The Weekend and they were all facing some type of allegations.

T.I.- Also has been associate with Diddy through the years, in 2021 his kid died and 11 women can forward at the same time to accuse him and his wife of drugging and assaulting them. Clearly someone wanted to fuck his life up. Possibly due to him getting arrested so many times for wild shit and people wondering how he continued to get away with it shining a light on how powerful industry lawyers are. He also had recently talked about having a gynecologist check to see if his daughter is still a Virgin, which sounds like it could have been an industrty secret. Could have been because he worried about someone trying to take advantage of her to get to him? Regardless that shit is fucking insane.

50 Cent- Has been saying pretty much the same thing as Travis Scott and has trolled Diddy for most of his career. It came out that his wife was a sex worker who was possibly recruited Diddy to help ruin his career. It sort of worked, which raises the question if 50 Cent is the only victim.

Ray J- Him and his sister worked with T.U.G. records when they were very young. Chris Stokes in the nineties who had connections with Diddy. He has been involved in a lot of sex scandals and allegedly may have played a part in Whitney Houston's death. (Which is also allegedly connected to Michael Jackson's death and both were deemed suspicious and happened during their final tours when their masters (song rights), became more valuable than their lives. Sony Records and Tommy Motolla, who also abused Mariah Carey when she was trying to start her career. These are just a few of the alleged examples of labels taking out musicians when they were worth more dead, another is the signing of high risk artists and requiring them to get life insurance so they can profit beyond releasing all their posthumous records. Also the ever so common story of the rising star artist that die at 21 after their first album or two.

He also partied with Diddy in Vegas with along Floyd Mayweather and a bunch of other famous industry people and athletes.

Tory Lanez- Tons of blackmail, also was signed by Interscope under UMG. got sent to prison for ten years after trying to leave his label. Also history of SA and and other allegations of violence towards women.

French Montana- On Diddy's label, close with Rick and Khaled, tons of drug and sexual assault allegations, also dated a Kardashian. Generally grimy.

DJ Khaled- Diddy said he could get anything in Miami, either referring to drugs or women, could explain his connections and lack of any notable talent. (New update, he was one of the first to promote Chris Alvarez’s instagram not long after he turned 18).

Rick Ross- Diddy said some weird shit about him and licked his lips and kissed him at a show. Ross is also signed to Bad Boy under Diddy. He ended up getting involved in the current feud and spamming social media nonstop dissing and threatening Drake.

A lot of the back and forth was both of them threatening to release dirt on each other. One strange coincidence I found was Drake recently trolled Ross about the 20 million dollar renovation to his home on Star island, where Diddy is currently residing. It’s rumored back in the day that P Diddy was caught in a room full of rich guys on ecstasy possibly at the beginning stages of a gay orgy. Drake also mentioned in the same tweets about Rick Ross that Birdman owned a house on the island and asked Rick Ross why he didn’t help him out.

Considering Ross is so sketchy and Drake claims the house isn’t that big, that’s a ridiculous amount of money. He may be covering up evidence, or creating tunnels in his house to escape if shit pops off and Drake might know what’s good. Interestingly enough Ross is very close with French Montana and also signed to Bad. He said his beef was related to something involving French, and Drake’s tweet popped up the same day the info came out concerning the Chris Alvarez stuff.

The famous line from U.O.E.N.O.

Meek Mill- “OG Maco called himself defending his friend Quentin Miller by substantiating the ghostwriting claims and agreeing with Meek. He hit up Twitter saying, "Some of us been knew. Meek just put it in the air. Sucks to have to compete with 6 n****s and get compared to”

Meek mill also had a short beef with Drake, some disses included lines referring to TI’s homie pissing on Drake at the movie theater, which is also interesting considering the current case against him. He also dropped a line saying Diddy almost got a domestic charge when he smacked Drake, which could either be saying that Drake is like a woman, or saying he was Drake’s boyfriend/sugar daddy.
( If you made it to the end comment with the number 8)
I thought it was interesting how the beef just kind of disappeared and even Meek said it didn’t seem genuine. Considering the allegations against Meek in the Diddy trial, and his rumored affair with Kim contributing to ending Kanye’s marriage, Meek Mill definitely did some dirt on him.

“Niggas frauds I told the truth, don't ask me shit
All this industry fake enemy and rap shit”

“Money make a sucker that told look trill again”

One of the many chapters in Drake's history in which he is seen paying his way out of trouble and starting beefs randomly.
“Now when that shit went down with Chris, you wrote a check”
This line is referring to Chris brown beef, another beef that was lost to time. All I can remember off the top was someone throwing a champagne bottle at the other’s entourage.

Ty Dolla $ign- Huge feature artist, close with Ye. Grew up in the industry and talks about growing up on the road and being in the studio with his dad and Rick James who was should have already been in prison for life for dragging, torturing, and S assaulting multiple women and children throughout his career and was himself a victim of the industry. May be part of Ye's motivation, considering their recent close working relationship.
The end.
Courtesy of,
The Randomest Moniker

1(23f) was running errands with my partner (37m) over the weekend. When we discussed the errands before we left the house, the grocery store was not on the list. I got ready for the day, it was hot and we'd be moving around so I chose a comfortable and breathable outfit - a pair of black exercise leggings, sneakers, and a crop tank top. I've been opting out of wearing a bra a lot lately, and decided to leave it at home. We left for the day and when we were nearing the end of the errands, my partner suggested stopping at the grocery store to grab something to cook for dinner. He works part-time at a fancy grocery store as a second job, we don't shop here a lot because it's out of our budget but I've ran in enough times while he's been working that many of his co-workers know me. He has a smoke and when he's done I get out of the car. He asks me "oh you're coming in?" I responded something along the lines of "yes, why are you asking?" (dumbfounded because why would I wait in the car alone with no a/c) He informed me that he didn't want me to come inside with my nipples visible and while I was wearing "basically nothing." I was shocked. He's nade many comments about my outfit choices over the years, but never outright did not want to be seen with me because of them. I asked him if he was serious and he responded with "babe I work here." I told him I couldn't believe it an informed him l'd be waiting in the hot car. Later that day we discussed the situation even further and he told me that if I insisted on coming with him he would not have told me to stay in the car a second time, but he wouldn't have been happy if I did join him. We didn't really come to a resolution but the conversation was eventually dropped. Idk where to land on this. We've had conversations in the past regarding "time and place." We're in agreement that it's not cool to wear revealing clothes like that if you're going to a place filled with children or teenage boys. But this is not the case..... If you co-workers are offended by my nipples they should keep their eyes on my face. It's not like I left the house expecting to be going to his place of work either. I just can't shake the feeling that he didn't want to be seen with me. Am I the asshole?

This is going to be long, I'm sorry. It is my first reddit post, and I feel desperate. I'm just wondering if anyone here has ever mended their family ties?
To give context, me (22F), my older brother (25M), and younger sister (17F) grew up in an immigrant household (my brother and I are immigrants, sister first gen) with both mother and father around. Overall, we had a happy childhood. We had family friends and my mothers first cousin living in the same city as us, with her two children around the same age as my brother and I. Fast forward a couple of years, there was family drama and an ending of the family friend group that we had due to petty fights between moms, and we stopped having contact with these people. I was a pretty extroverted child, as was my sister, but my brother was pretty introverted. He had great interests as a child, he loved astrology, reading, and knew everything about cars. My sister loved drawing (as did I), making slime, and reading as well (she's an excellent writer). I had a good relationship with both of them, sometimes getting into fights, but nothing really abnormal. We would go outside to play all of the time, and I would take my sister to the pool with me and my friends during the summer. My brother then got very into video games in high school. It was more of a hobby then, which I think is good and healthy, his grades were still good and he was on the volleyball team so he was socializing and fit. His work ethic was not good though, as he would wait until the last minute to finish his assignments. When he was applying to colleges I remember he didn't really want to do anything. It was a big fight between him and my parents. He started college as a commuter, but this was a pretty difficult time for him and he got pretty depressed. He still had the same work ethic and studying habits that he had in high school. My mother then started to deal with depression, as she was close to my brother and became socially isolated at this time. Her age didn't help, and she started dealing with sciatic pain. I then felt like I had to help her, so I would help her with the house, my sister, and the garden. I enjoyed these things, as I feel my nature is pretty nurturing. I love children and found a love in gardening during this time as well. I worked in retail when I was 17, and have been working in the restaurant industry for about 2 years now. My brother never had a job. My brother was always the golden child and got most of the attention and praise, which I didn't mind because in a way it was motivation for me to do well and live up to him. I was still close with him and my sister during his college years. He graduated with a degree in mechanical engineering in three years, and everyone was so proud of him. This was the year I started at the same college as him, but for biochemistry as I was pre-med. This was the year COVID started. My sister was 12, and I was 18, and my brother 21. My brother didn't apply to any jobs after graduation and would just sit at home playing video games. He played for a year and a half, and my parents got frustrated at him for just sitting at home doing nothing. I spoke to him during this time, and he said he was severly depressed during college, and on the first day he knew he didn't want to do it and wanted to drop out instead. I couldn't understand him, as I always saw education as a privilege and gaining knowledge/learning was so rewarding for me (THINK MALALA). My parents told him he had to get a job or go for his masters. He ended up applying for his masters in computer science, and finished that in two years. Since then, December 2022, he has just been in his room locked away playing video games all night and sleeping all day. My mother has been dealing with depression since he started college, and it took a toll on me during COVID trying to help her. This in turn took a toll on my younger sister as we shared the same room and we had a very close relationship. I ended up developing an eating disorder during the time of COVID (I think due to bad stress management), and I was depressed and weighed close to nothing. I ended up graduating with my undergraduate degree in Biochemistry a year early like my brother, but at the end of my studies I decided I could not become a doctor. I studied for my MCAT and was working on applications and all that, but looking forward, I felt the path of becoming a physician did not align with what I wanted in life. The four years of medical school was fine with me, as I love medicine and would study it for the rest of my life if I could, but the hours in residency and the non-existent balance between work and life during those years (along with the debt of medical school) was not something I could justify doing. I wanted to become a mother (sooner rather than later (which feels stupid now as I don't even have a boyfriend and the disloyalty i've seen in men (not my father) makes me have trust issues)). I was lost and wasn't in a good mental state to begin with. Then, my best friends (American) turned on me and isolated me which made me feel even worse. My sister then became the person that I trauma dumped to, which I see was not a good thing, and she started to become aggressive and took turns on who she would isolate in my family. First it was my dad, then my brother, then my mother, then me. She had phases of who she would consider a friend, and who she hated. It was hard on my whole family. During June of 2022, my grandfather (mothers side) became ill with sepsis due to an untreated UTI (he was a farmer and hated the doctor), and she went back to our country for the first time in 20 years. I wanted to go with her, but I had to stay back and take care of my sister. When she came back after my grandfather's death and funeral, my grandmother was all alone, so I went back to my country to stay with her as her caretaker until she passed in November. During that time, I worked on myself and became healthier. It was easier because I had so much family around, and I made new and great friends who I could relate to. The culture is a lot less stressful and on-the-go than American culture, so I found myself seeing the beauty in life like I did as a child. I was in the village surrounded by nature, which I love, and I finally felt like I fit in, whereas in America I never REALLY fit in. When I came home, my sister was still not talking to me.
Fast forward to recently, I am in a great place mentally and physically. I am back to my normal weight (although I do have issues with my hormones due to my former ED, which makes me scared that I am infertile). I am in school in a direct-entry masters in nursing program, working as a server on weekends, and volunteering with the elderly community with a few very close friends that I love. I've done a lot of self work, and have the mindset of not letting my past define me or stop me from bettering myself. My relationship with my family members is pretty great, individually. My sister is doing better mentally, as she dropped some friends feeding her depression, made some new friends in high school, is working as a host in the restaurant I work in, and has taken up martial arts. She is a very bubbly and laughy person, but she can be very cold if she "hates" you. Her relationship with my mother and brother are still very rocky. My mother still deals with depression due to my brother's "wasted potential", although I think I have helped since coming back because I feel much stronger and know now what I have to do to stay strong for my family and for myself. I understand my sister with both of them. I was also initially frustrated with my mother around my sisters age, but I understand what my mother is/has gone through. My sister deems her as crazy, which I told her was wrong. Her and my brother were never very close, and I feel for her frustration with him. He is always in his room playing video games, never helping around the house, and gets mad at her when she says mean things to my mother. I, too, was frustrated with him. However, I know now that the only thing I can really do is fix myself, I can't fix others if they don't want to change. I understand him in a way too. I think that he blamed school for his depression, but I think he still deals with it in a way today and video games is his outlet. When me and him were her age, we would not even think about saying half of the things she says to my parents. I caught my siblings in a screaming match one day when they thought I had left the house. He was screaming at her about being a b**** (I hate curse words, I think they feed anger) because she called my mother and brother fat a**** that morning for eating some leftovers we had (which I think is terribly wrong on two fronts, as one should never say this to another person let alone their own family, and all of the food we have is for everyone, not just for one person), and she was screaming at him to tell her what he wanted to say for the past 17 years. I intervened and started telling them that it was wrong to be screaming at each other, and that we have to be there for each other because we are siblings. We are each other's first best friends in life, and no one else will understand what we went through together. My sister and I also recently had an argument because she told me that my mother and father were very hard on her for her schooling as a child and that she remembers my mother about to throw a chair at her because of some bad grade, but that I stopped her from throwing it. I don't remember this happening ever. I remember that me and my brother were disciplined as children, and that I would get the most punishment (because I was a more mischievous child), and they were hard on us for school, but I knew it was for our better (remember Malala?). She was much younger than us, so their parenting changed significantly by the time she was born. As a child, she never got hit. I think that she might believe that this actually happened, and the feeling of fear was probably true, but this scene did not happen. My parents were older when they had her, so they were not as playful as they were with us as children, but they did their best. I would always try and give her everything I never had at her age, buying her food and taking her shopping. However, she now eats some form of fast food every day, takes my dad to buy her snacks that she won't share with us (which I told my dad is not okay, even if it is a bonding moment between them which he clings onto, he should teach her to share), and she has no interest in dressing up like she did as a child (she used to change her outfit three times a day, always fashionable). I don't think the fashion thing is a big deal, but I want to give her all of the clothes I wished for at her age.
TL;DR
ANYWAYS, after all that, has anyone ever dealt with a bright child older brother turning into a video game addict with no drive? and a younger sister with aggression and resentment towards family? I want to believe that my sister will get better. I think she should go on vacation with my mother to our home country this summer, as we have cousins her age, and she can see how happy my mother is in our country (instead of the depressed version she is in America). As for my older brother, can I do anything to help him see that life is far more beautiful with real-world social connections, that work can be rewarding (whatever it is that he wants to do), and that his past does not define him or who he could be (even if it takes a lot of self-reflection and work)? If so, how can I do this? Or is it better for me to just focus on my own life, make the goals I want happen, and pray/hope they can find the contentment I have found in life? I don't want to intrude too much, but I want to help them. Family is a very important value in my life, and I think it is for them as well.