This is the first time I have written something of this length, and is more of an exercise in self-therapy than anything else. Disclaimer: This story contains conversations about child abuse. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it.
Nathan’s number appeared on my phone screen. I debated whether or not to answer it. We hadn’t been on speaking terms for a while, and while we did keep in touch sporadically, it was usually because of important family issues. I didn’t know of anything happening with mom or dad, nor with Talia or Rio, so I let it go to voicemail. I could always call him back later. I placed the phone back in my pocket, and returned to cleaning my camera. The phone buzzed again. A text message came through. I read the preview line from the home screen. “The city declared eminent domain on the house” I unlocked my phone, read the full text message, and dialed my brother.
I wasn't able to get any closer to the house than a few blocks. Most of the area was blocked off with chain link fencing and construction equipment in preparation for the demolition that was supposed to take place within the coming days. The barriers didn’t prevent people from walking in to the neighborhood, but it hindered scrappers from coming in and stripping the houses of copper wiring and plumbing.
I grabbed my camera bag out of the trunk of my car along with my tripod. I shouldered it and hooked the tripod to my bag. I pulled my water bottle out of the center console and shut the door. I stood next to my car surveying the neighborhood. 12 city blocks of old single family homes comprised the neighborhood where I grew up. Some of the houses had been empty for months, others for years. There was an eerie silence that permeated the still air. I could not hear the familiar sounds of people, pets, or cars. I locked the car and put my keys in my pocket. I patted my jacket down to ensure I had what I needed. After a quick check, I started my walk.
The sidewalk of the old neighborhood streets still bore the familiar cracks and grind marks from years of buckling and remedy. Leaves dropped by the trees still lay scattered all along the pathways and sidewalk. Korina’s house was the first house I encountered as I made my way through a gap in the fence. The yard was overgrown with tall grass and thistle. I could see the faded blue paint of the old house contrasting the green and browns of the lawn. The chain link fence that marked off the corner property was nearly invisible through the thick brush. As I continued walking west towards 110th, I started to feel something was off. The streets seemed wider than I remembered. It took me longer than I’d like to admit, but eventually I realized what was different. There were no cars.
The streets here typically had cars lined bumper to bumper in any spot available, and were visible from block to block. The absence of all these vehicles made me realize just how deserted the neighborhood really was. House after house, yard after yard, the telltale signs of desertion reinforced what I could see from the moment I passed the construction fence: This was no longer my neighborhood. There were no signs of life, and no one I could expect to find still here. Abandonment was the new normal here. I continued on, glancing at houses and recalling memories of summer bike rides, and daily walks with dogs I used to have. I remembered walks home from school, and chasing after ice cream trucks when they passed our houses. I smiled a bit as I remembered more and more of my years spent here. I don’t quite know just why I was smiling. There were plenty of bad memories here too. Fights, yelling, being beat up, being robbed. I could remember failed friendships, lost loves, and bitter feelings of failures too.
Still, I felt a certain amount of nostalgia despite the weight of these negative feelings. I almost wanted to experience everything again, although I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way. Concrete, asphalt, billboards and liquor stores were the normal vistas of everyday life. Occasionally, after a good rainstorm, the grey haze of smog would lift, and the mountains would be visible to the north. At least, they would be visible until mid-morning when the exhaust from a million cars covered them behind a veil of pollution.
It wasn’t until the first time I travelled out of the city that I realized there was more to see. Traveling up the coast north along the Pacific Coast Highway introduced me to scenes of deep blue ocean water spanning the width of my vision. Driving up Highway 3 introduced me to the permeating scent of Pine and Fir trees. The two-lane stretch of highway from Portland to Tillamook introduced me to lush green forests that I had only ever read about. When I came home to the same old dirty, dusty concrete and boiling summer asphalt, I had made up my mind. I would do everything it took to leave this place. I would not spend another day longer than was necessary living in cramped quarters and fighting for parking space.
I arrived to the house, and paused at the gate. The house sat in contrast of what the rest of the neighborhood looked like. Instead of overgrown grass and tall weeds all over the place, the landscaping showed signs of relatively recent work. The guava tree in the front lawn still had some fruit ready to be picked, and the avocado tree on the other side of the pathway was still weighed down by its own fruit. Flowers still bloomed in the raised bed in front of the house. My brother had clearly tried to keep up on things until the last possible moment. The house, too, looked better than what I expected after walking up 4 blocks and seeing nothing but dilapidated houses and unkempt yards. I opened the gate and walked up to the small porch. The metal gate that enclosed it was gone having been removed by my brother when he took over the property. It looked nice to see it open instead of the cage it once felt like.
I turned the knob on the door, but it didn't give. Ever a creature of habit, my brother had locked the door when he left. Of course, he did. I sighed and prepared to find another way in when I remembered my parents hiding a spare key. I wasn’t sure if it would still be there, but after running my hands along the back side of the gutter downspout, I was rewarded for my efforts. I unlocked the front door and stepped into the front living room, the sounds of my footsteps and the closing door echoing in the empty space. The room felt both larger and smaller than I remembered it. I suppose it was lack of furniture that made it feel larger, but it still felt smaller than I remember. The result of growing taller throughout the years I suppose. I slowly walked along the slate tile floor towards the central hallway that connected the front of the house to the back bedrooms. I wasn't entirely sure that just because the front door was locked, that there wasn't some squatter looking for a little temporary shelter within the back rooms. I carefully and silently crept step by step towards what used to be the bedroom shared by my sister and me. I stuck my head in and gave the room a cursory glance. It was empty, thankfully. I moved back into the hallway and peered into the bedroom across the hall. This is where both of my brothers had shared a room. It too, was empty save for a few boxes holding hardware and doorknobs from the closet doors of the bedroom. I walked back towards the back of the house where my parent's bedroom was. The walls in the hallway bore the dusty signs where picture once hung. The bedroom door was open. I stepped inside, and looked around. The old avocado paint that my mom had picked out years ago still adorned the walls. Walking further towards the addition that was the small room my grandma and grandpa lived in showed that there was no one here. I breathed a sigh of relief as I set my bag down and set up my tripod. I reached into my bag a pulled out an envelope of old photos. These were old snapshots that we had all taken at some point in time in the house. There were pictures of all of us sitting at the dining room table playing a game of Monopoly. There was a picture of my brother and sister sitting on a couch in the front living room. There was a picture of me hanging on the bars of the front porch. I looked through them all and held them in place in front of me as if I were holding a window to the past.
Each picture made the lump in my throat grow as I started to struggle to control my emotions. There was history here, and soon it would all be gone. This is the place where my parents had raised four kids. They had taken care of my grandparents in their twilight years here. My Aunt and my grandmother had both died in this house. Birthdays, graduation parties, and anniversaries had been celebrated here. The echoes of life had reverberated within the walls of this place. Now, the house sat silent. It would never again know happy screams of kids having a water-balloon war out in the front yard, nor would it hear the cries of anguish as the matriarch of the family passed away surrounded by her family. What once was a home full of life was now just an empty house made of drywall and paint. I sat there for a moment contemplating just how much family history was actually made here. As I thought hard about my siblings and my parents, I felt pained at the thought of our strained relationships. We had all scattered once we had the opportunity to be free of each other. My oldest brother had married and moved away as soon as possible. My sister now lived in northern California. My parents too had moved away. I was now living in Utah. Only my older brother had remained behind. The lump grew larger in my throat as tears welled up in my eyes. I held back sobs of anger and pain. Why was I hurting? Hadn’t I dealt with these issues already? I walked back to my old bedroom and sat down under the window. I pulled my head down into my knees and cried. I could hear yelling and screaming in my head. Shouting matches between siblings and parents, brothers and sister, rattled inside my brain, making the pain grow. I sat there and cried. I hadn’t cried like this in a long time. Eventually I ran out of tears and tired gasps of sorrow and regret washed over me as a blanket of drowsiness enveloped me. I leaned my head back and fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It took me a moment to realize what I was hearing and hurriedly stood up. Had someone followed me? I knew the police were patrolling the area sporadically. Had they seen me enter the house? I knew there would be a possibility of getting a trespassing citation, but I figured I could either talk my way out of it seeing as to how I was a former resident, or I could probably fight the citation in court if the judge knew why I was there in the first place. Ultimately, passing through the gate had been a calculated risk that I was willing to take for the sake of my art. I got up from my corner of the room and moved towards the door. If there was someone in the house, I needed to know. I didn’t want my gear to stolen, and if there was a cop in the house, I wanted to ensure I didn’t get shot.
I was greeted by the sight of a startled chubby boy standing on the other side of the door. His round cherubic face was crowned by a head of short curly hair. His hazel green eyes stared widely back at me. He clearly didn’t expect someone to be here in the house. His body recoiled in fear as he cowered back towards the hallway. “Wait, what are you doing here?” I asked as non-threateningly as I could. The boy muttered something that I couldn’t quite make out. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you” I replied. “Are you here to rob us?” he timidly responded. “Rob you? What are you talking about?” I asked as confusion set in. “What are you doing here?” It was his turn to be confused. “Uh…I….live here?” he replied. “What do you mean you live here? No one lives-“I stopped midsentence. I hadn’t noticed in my initial shock but the room wasn’t the same. A familiar blue couch caught the corner of my eye. In front of that was an old console TV with a partially broken antenna hanging on the wall behind it. I walked further in to the living room to notice wood paneling on the walls. A large mirror hung on the wall to my left. Familiar yellow lamps sat on round drop-leaf tables on either side of the couch. A large hutch sat in one corner, a collection of letters and bills, mail advertisements, and a phone book covered scattered over it. “What just happened?” I asked out loud to no one in particular. I was thoroughly mystified by what my eyes were seeing. I had walked into the house from the front door and had stepped into an empty white room with slate floor tiles, but somehow now found myself in a furnished room with brown carpet that was all so familiar to me, yet was nothing but a distant faded memory. I turned to look at the boy still startled by the intrusion of a strange man looking wildly around the room in total shock.
“You can take what you want, just please let me go. I don’t want problems.” He stated his voice still shrill with anxiety. I blinked a few times as I tried to process just what the heck was going on. I gathered my thoughts as best I could and tried to reassure him. “Kid, I’m not here to rob anyone. I was just-“I shook my head “Where the hell am I? Am I having a dream?” I asked myself. “I must be dreaming. I’m just tired and still sleeping. This is all a dream. Yeah, that’s it.” I needed to sit down. Being back in the old house must have overtaxed my senses, I told myself. I’d having a dream about an old memory. I walked over to the chair next to the couch and sat down. I sunk into it and rested my head back towards the wall.
The boy kept his distance, but sensed I wasn’t there to hurt him. He looked me over with anxious curiosity. He stood at the far end of the couch, examining me while he played out scenarios in his head in preparation for a quick exit. “Why are you in my house?” he asked me. “Dude, this is all just a dream I’m having. I’m not really here.” He reached over to the couch and picked up a pillow. He reared his arm and threw it at me. It landed in my lap. “I don’t know, man. You sure seem to be here.” He said to me. I opened my eyes, startled. I looked down at the pillow he tossed and examined it. I ran my hand over the fabric and felt its texture. I remember this pillow. This was the pillow I would roll under my head as I lay on the couch and watched TV as a kid. A sudden realization hit me as I looked around the room with fresh eyes. No longer was I blinded by the fog of confusion. I knew exactly where I was.
I was home.
I looked at the boy still standing at the edge of the couch. I looked him over and realized who he actually was. I stared in disbelief as I smiled and tried to put him at ease. “It’s ok Johnny. I’m not here to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you. Please, sit down” I told him. I motioned to his end of the couch. “Who are you, and why are you here?” he asked me.
“This will be hard to believe, but I’m you” I said with an incredulous tone, “I’m not sure how I ended up here, but I’m here.” He looked at me as I had grown a second head. “That doesn’t make any sense. How could you be me? Did we invent time travel? Oh! Are we secret government agents with the CIA?”
I chuckled. “Wait, wait, wait. Let’s start at the beginning. I’m you at 38 years old. You’re…what, 11… 12 years old? It makes sense. I fell asleep under the window in my- our old bedroom. I didn’t come here on purpose or in a machine. And no, I’m not a government agent.” His face contorted to display understanding, disappointment and finally suspicion. His eyes narrowed as he leaned in towards me. “How do I know you’re really me?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment. How could I prove to him that I was who I said I was? A few seconds of silence settled between us. I stroked my chin, thinking of a solution.
“I have a better idea. Ask me questions that only you know the answers to.” “Okay” he responded. He glanced around the room trying to come up with something. His eyes fixated on the Nintendo sitting under the TV cabinet. “What game do me and Nathan have a map of?” I looked over at the NES. I hadn’t thought about this for years, but I knew instantly what he was asking. “YOU don’t have anything. Nathan is the one that made the map for Section Z” His jaw dropped. He tried to trick me, but his plan failed. He knew well and good that Nathan never let him play. It was always ‘I’ll let you play when I die’ or, ‘you can play when I’m done’. The problem was that he never followed through. Usually by the time Nathan was done, the NES was overheated, and the game would no longer load until it cooled down. By that point, it was time for bed.
“How do you know that?” he asked in astonishment. “I know these things because I’m you. Just like I know that you wear t-shirts to the pool because you’re embarrassed by what others will think of your body. I know that you used to think that people that die off in movies were prisoners that were set to be executed from death row, so they used them for making movies. I know all about you because I’m you”
Johnny sat on the end of the couch in bewilderment, his mouth slightly agape. He had never told anyone any of this. He didn’t have any close friends to talk to about such things, and those friends he did have were more acquaintances than friends. There was only one way he could possibly know these things. He was talking to his future self.
I could see Johnny’s mind completely explode. There lay endless possibility and the answers to a million questions he could ask about his own future. He started to ask a question, only to stop, close his mouth, and try asking another. I knew if he kept this up he would have a stroke or something. “Dude, calm yourself. Let’s talk this out rationally, otherwise you’ll end up stroking out or something.” I told him. He took a deep breath and I could hear him muttering quietly. I knew he was trying to form a coherent sentence before he actually spoke it. I did it all the time. “Ok, first of all, are we rich?” he asked with tempered expectation. I chuckled and grinned back at him. “No, not at all. If I was rich, would I be dressed like this?” I replied as I motioned to my beat up brown Vans and worn out jeans and T-shirt. “We-, I – make enough to get by. I’m not poor, but I earn enough to pay the bills.” His face grew a smirk as he commented “Yeah, I figured. What do I do for work? I mean, what do you do for work?” I thought about it for a second. I wondered how much information I should divulge to a younger me. I still didn’t think this whole situation was really happening, but if it was, I probably should proceed with caution. “Well, it’s complicated. I do a little bit of everything. You know how you’re constantly taking things apart? Let’s just say that it’s good to put them back together in order to keep them working. Take good notes on paper if you need to, and make sure you have a clean work area so you can keep track of all the parts.” He gave me a sheepish look. He knew exactly what I was talking about. I had spent countless hours sneaking dad’s tools to my room so I could figure out how something was built and try to figure out how it worked. I had gotten myself into some pretty bad trouble with dad over a drill, his timing light, and other stuff I had taken from his room. His belt had become quite familiar with my butt cheeks.
I gave him a knowing smile. “What else do you want to know?” He thought about it for a second. “Do we have a girlfriend?” I laughed, probably a little more than I should have because his face contorted into a sour frown. “You don’t need to be a jerk about it” he scowled. I continued to chuckle. “Yeah we have a girlfriend. We have more than a girlfriend” I could tell he was irritated with my vague indirect answers. I knew what he was asking. I remember the crush I had on my neighbor across the street. We had been friends since kindergarten, and had been classmates for 1st, 2nd, and 4th grades. We got along really well, and I knew from around 12 or 13 that I wanted to be her boyfriend. Unfortunately, things never progressed beyond the ‘just friends’ stage of things. It wasn’t from lack of effort on my part. We had just grown up together most of our lives that she didn’t see me as anything more than a brother and friend. “Dude, look. You just started to go through changes and you are starting to notice girls, but that doesn’t mean that you need to love every girl that shows you a little kindness or subtle interest. You need to slow down and let things happen naturally. You can’t force a relationship with someone.” Johnny pondered these words for a moment. I sat back and put my feet up on the coffee table. I looked around the room some more while I waited for another question. There was so much I had forgotten, but being back here had unlocked more and more memories that continued to wash over me. I was trying to hold on to my cool as not all those churned up recollections were pleasant. I stood up and walked over to the front door to peer outside the small central window embedded into the center of it. I could see the old neighborhood as I remembered it all those years ago. The lot across the street that served as a parking area for those that worked at the wheel works at the end of the block was empty of cars. I furrowed my brow as I thought for a moment. An empty lot meant it was afterhours or the weekend.
The gears in my own head started turning. “Wait, where is everyone?” I asked Johnny. Johnny turned to look at me still processing my last response. “Uh..oh, Mom and dad are out of town. They took a trip east this time. I think Rio said they are in Arizona right now. Rio and Nathan went out to get some food and to rent some movies from Video Showcase. Knowing them they’ll eat out first. Talia is staying over at Tia Rosie’s place today with her friends.” I grunted at his response. My mind was wandering as he mentioned Talia and Tia Rosie.
A sudden sharp pain pieced my heart. The pain of a thousand memories now unsealed spilled out from the box I had locked them away in. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes as I turned back to look at Johnny. He felt it too. He stared at the floor with an intensity that made me think it would burst into flames at any moment. I walked back over to him and sat next to him. He didn’t move. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and he threw himself into me. I could feel the tears dripping onto me as he sobbed intensely. “Hey man, its ok. It’s going to be ok.” I said as my own tears started to flow uncontrollably. I pulled him close and draped my other arm around him.
I knew the pain he was feeling. It was such a heavy burden, and I knew there was no one he felt he could talk to. I remembered it all so vividly. We sat there for what seemed to be an eternity. When we finally stopped sobbing, and our noses ran dry, we tried to breathe our way through to calmness. I got up and knelt in front of him. “Johnny, listen to me and remember what it is that I’m about to say to you. You are stronger than you think. You are stronger than you believe. NO ONE should ever have to go through this. Just because it happened to Talia, doesn’t mean you have to put up with it any longer. I know you didn’t think it was wrong, but I’m telling you that what she is doing to you is wrong. Talking to mom and dad isn’t going to make them hate you. You are not doing this to her, she is doing it to you. I’m not making excuses for her, but she is also more damaged than anyone realizes, and she is also dealing with the same level of pain you are. Remember that we do unto others what has been done to us. That doesn’t mean we need to continue the cycle of abuse” The lump in my throat grew immense at my own statement. I swallowed it as best I could and continued “You are going to deal with this pain a little bit at a time, and you’ll slowly get over this. It’s like a broken bone. When it happens, you don’t realize how bad the pain is until the adrenaline wears off, but then the immense pain is there. Just remember that this will pass. Just like a broken bone, you will heal over time, and one day, you will realize that the pain is gone and the bone is no longer broken. You’ll remember the pain, but it won’t hurt anymore.”
Johnny sat there in stunned silence. I knew he didn’t have anyone to help him through this. He couldn’t talk to Rio or Nathan about what was going on. Mom and Dad were constantly working to keep the family fed and sheltered and while they provided materially for their kids, emotional help was less available. Perhaps it was due to their energies being divided into 4 kids, a mortgage and multiple jobs, or perhaps it was also the culture of not talking about problems. Either way, they needed to know what was happening. They wouldn’t be able to fix it otherwise. “They’re going to be mad at me” he finally said after a few moments of silence. “No they won’t be. They love us all. I know you’re not used to hearing it, but they do love you. Everything they do is because of their love for us. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Telling them isn’t going to cause them to be angry.” I thought for a moment to find a good analogy. “You love Odie and Lady, right?” He nodded in agreement. “Ok, how would you feel if you knew someone you trusted was coming to the house and beating up our dogs when we weren’t around?” He thought about it for a second before his face changed to anger. “I’d want to kill them!” “Yes, but would you also feel sad that you weren’t there to try to protect them?” I reasoned. His face changed again. He understood what I was saying. Mom and Dad would be angry, but not necessarily at him. They would also feel a great sadness knowing that someone was hurting their child.
I smiled at him. He understood. I nodded. “Dude…You’re going to come to understand that life is not what you think it will be. Life is messy and can change in an instant. The plans you make today may not make it to next week. A lifelong goal can be derailed because of something out of your control. Mom and dad have spent their life protecting us with the goal of keeping us safe, but circumstances out of their control have affected their kids, and now we- you all have to deal with the fallout. Just remember that you are not the culprit. Yes, mom and dad will be hurt and angry, but not at you. Trust them. They don’t do things to hurt us” Johnny hugged me. I- He didn’t have many people he could trust and open up to. He liked to talk a lot about everything going on in his life, no matter how trivial. Everything, except this. This was a shameful topic, and he didn’t feel like anyone would understand why he didn’t go to an adult sooner. The problem was simple. He simply didn’t understand that it was wrong. Now that he had an adult that he could talk to, himself no less, he wanted to lift this burden off his shoulders. He was happy to have found someone and he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back just at tightly. It wasn’t every day that I could meet my younger self and help to comfort them. “Thank you” he said to me.
The world darkened, and everything faded to black.
I lifted my head out of my knees and looked around. I was sitting under the window in my old bedroom again. Had I fallen asleep? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. I was emotionally drained and incredibly tired. I hadn’t had sleep like that in years. I got to my feet and looked around the room briefly before walking out to mom and dad’s old room. I grabbed my camera and slowly walked the house, snapping picture after picture. The only sound to be heard was the sound of the camera shutter and my soft footsteps. I thought about my dream as I took pictures.
Upon entering my room, a random memory hit me.
The stash.
I was pretty sure I had taken the hidden box when I moved out all those years ago, but since I was here, I should double check. Heading into the closet, I pushed the panel that led to the attic space out of the way and peered in. I couldn’t see anything, so I reached up there to feel around. The box was indeed gone. I felt around for a few more seconds and was surprised to feel what felt like a thick envelope. I didn’t remember leaving anything up there, but after pulling it down and giving it a cursory glance, I figured it was an old envelope of lost love letters. It wasn’t until I blew off the thick layer of dust that I realized what I was holding. It was a letter. Not just any letter. It was addressed to me.
Under the now semi-cleared layer of dust were the words “To be opened by future me”. I looked at it for a few moments before opening it. I couldn’t remember making this at all, much less storing it up in my secret hiding spot. If ever I hid something, it was in the stash box. My hands shook a bit as I started to open the envelope and pulled out the yellowed pages inside. I started reading.
"Dear Future John. I have spent the last few years remembering a dream I had when I was younger. Life was…difficult at that time, and I spent a lot of time escaping my reality by reading a lot of books and watching a lot of TV. On the off-chance that what I think is a dream really happened. I wanted to write some things down in an effort to give you my thanks. I merely consider myself a conveyer of thanks, although I will pile on my own thanks to you for your words of encouragement. I remember finding a stranger in the house one day while I was home alone. I was afraid he was there to hurt me at first, but after a few moments, I came to realize I was meeting myself. Well, I was meeting me, but from the future. I think he said he was in his 40’s, but I couldn’t tell you with any certainty. Either way, we talked. We talked about life, and what the future held in store for us…
Mostly though, we talked about the abuse. Well, Talked is being generous. We cried, and then we talked. I don’t remember exactly what he told me, but I remember how he made me feel. He made me feel safe. I felt like I could trust him. Trust myself. In the end, he gave me the courage to stand up for myself both at home and at school. He also gave me the courage to talk to mom and dad about what was going on between me and Talia. I do remember being afraid that I would be punished, but he reassured me that they wouldn’t, and that they loved me.
It was a difficult and awkward conversation, but in the end, arrangements were made for me to share a room with Rio and Nathan. I didn’t have much of a relationship with Talia for a long while, but after some years, we managed to patch things up. She apologized to me, and I came to understand the abuse she herself was subjected to by so-called family friends. She didn’t tell me this in an effort to excuse it, but to merely help give me closure to a difficult time from my own childhood. Mom and dad promised to be more attentive to us and we sort of established what I guess you would call an open door policy. We talk more about stuff that’s happening in our lives. Mom is much easier to talk to now. Dad is a little more patient with us too. I apologized to them for not coming to them sooner, and dad gave me a “nugget of wisdom” that I think I’ll live by: We can’t fix what we don’t know is broken. I’ve tried to make sure I talk to them when something is wrong, and I’ve tried to implement that in my life so I don’t have problems with other people.
I’m trying to grow up to be a good guy. I want to have good relationships with people. Nathan says I’m turning into a people pleaser, but I don’t necessarily see that as a terrible thing. I know when to say no to someone. Well, either way, I wanted to make sure I thank you for the help you gave us. I probably won’t remember writing this, but I hope I do find it again someday. Here’s hoping I turn into the man I feel you are. -John Age 16."
I stared at the letter, the words blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly brushed them away as I quietly spoke to no one in particular. “Thanks guys. I hope I live up to your expectations” I folded the letter, placed it in my pocket, and walked out of the room. After picking up my backpack and tripod, I silently walked towards the front door, my footsteps echoing in the empty house. I turned to look back at the empty living room one last time, and after a moment, I walked out.

TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):

• Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
• My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
• Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
• Maryse, 27F at the time.

Background and intro
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.

I'm obviously the minority here, but even if Albert was being evasive, even if they literally destroyed their phones for reasons we may not understand, and even if McLaughlin were friends with Caitlyn, since none of that takes away from the evidence yet to come out that will implicate KR, how are people so convinced she's not guilty, when the following hasn't even been presented yet: - The phone GPS data- never moved a few minutes after they showed up, and the only time his phone could've possibly been in that house was so quick, it wasn't long enough for anyone to beat him up, then drag him out. - If any of us found our partner lying on the ground unresponsive in the yard where we left him, wouldn't we be demanding answers from the people inside at some point? She never asked one question! - If alllllll those people were in on it(mostly LE), do we really think they'd leave him in their front yard, while still breathing, AND with his phone? And when did they all decide this was the plan? - She told her dad she "hit something" - Even her attys at first said it was an accident, then they changed their story to follow suit with the narrative painted by so-called journalists - The voicemails she left him don't sound like doting, proud girlfriend at all

• But even with all that evidence aside, since nothing has been presented yet, I'm genuinely curious how can anyone be convinced so early, based mainly on a few inconsistencies with how people remember things (when recollection is notoriously not the most credible to begin with)? And if all this evidence comes in, will you still stick to your claims that she's not guilty?

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU #6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.  
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.  
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.  
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.  
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.  
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.  
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!  
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.  
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.  
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!

OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.

MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.

OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.  

Update: February 27, 2024
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!  
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?

OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).

mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?

OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!

-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down

OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.  

----NEW UPDATE----

Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

So my dad is 69 and has had drug issues / verbally abusive issues since I was a kid.
I hadn’t been talking for a couple of weeks cause one he takes so many pot gummies he doesn’t remember when we talk, two because I don’t have much going on to talk about, three because of issues of fear with him…
So he leaves a voicemail today
”Let it ring the dozen times motherfucker OK I mean that's it . You got the choice . You just don't pick up so you let it ring . Can you let me get on the phone and you don't want nothing Do with me as your father well
Let's see whatever today's day it is today I'm officially not your father, right Fuck yourself
Tried to reach you. I've been fucking sick for fucking weeks now.
OK, not self inflicted not justification just you and your fucking girlfriend hanging out too busy to get involved in my life
go fuck yourself boy do not call me
All right this is been boiling up in me. You're a piece of shit.
Shit I'm your fucking father you don't fucking answer cause you got grudges, but we all got grudges Baby is yours little too sure we have to rub your ass for put some powder on your ass your fucking f**t
What the fuck is wrong with you do you you don't return calls you don't wanna talk to me to be a man say, listen I'm not gonna call dad cause I don't wanna talk to you, but you ain't a fucking man boy.…”
So yeah that was hurtful.
Called him back and acted like that was no big deal and says he doesn’t go off on my sister like that cause he depends on her for food…..
Kinda down. Lol.

(Side note: This is super long. Excuse any lousy spelling and punctuation.)
I was supposed to go out on a date with a co-worker Sergio but that didn't happen. My date was planned for the same day as my cousin Isabel's wedding day. I agreed to the date last Friday because I already knew I would not be attending Isabel's wedding. However, all that changed because my Family members were very upset and would not drop it. They didn't know my part of the story and they did not want to listen to it, they only knew Isabel's part which was an entire lie. Then they all decided that I was an a**hole and being 'overly dramatic' just from hearing her side. Overall it's a mess. I only went because I wanted the family to leave me alone. From all the drama and from Isabel running her mouth I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of thinking I was still in pain. I know her invite was just to make her seem like the bigger person but I know it's all a fake. Now the reason I was not going to attend was because Isabel stole my boyfriend Anthony and is now getting married to him. Honestly, it's all insane to me because everything has happened so fast.
Back story. Back on 12/19, I came back home early in the morning about 2am(ish) from work (I work a night shift). From the outside, you'd notice that all lights were off inside, so I assumed that Anthony was not there and would most likely be back at the apartment packing up his stuff. I recently just bought this house and already had all my stuff there. I texted him, told him I left work early, and asked if he could come home, but I got no response. I assumed he was asleep. However, he is usually up and waiting for me, but since we have been moving his stuff, it's been tiring. I had decided to shower and then get ready and get some food because I didn't have the energy to dig through boxes for pans to cook something. I got out of the car and started heading towards the front door. As I approached the door, I could hear music and stuff that no person ever wanted to hear in the early morning. I froze, and my mind went blank. I started to unlock the door slowly and quietly. I turned on the light and saw Isabel and Anthony doing the nasty on the couch. I screamed and began to cry out of anger. They screamed as well, and Isabel fell off of Anthony when he pushed her off of him. He, of course, like any cheating person, would say, "It's not what It looks like." I didn't say much because I didn't know what to say; I was speechless. I told Anthony, "Get out." and told Isabel, "Get out. I don't understand how you could do this to me. Just get out." Both of them quickly grabbed their clothing and got dressed. Anthony tried to talk to me, but I wasn't listening. He tried to hug and apologize and kept telling me he was sorry and loved me. I just told him we were over and I could never forgive him and to leave. He started to cry and just stood there staring at me, then looked over at Isabel, giving her a pissed-off look. She was standing there glaring at me. I honestly was ready to throw hands with her because I was so pissed off and the same with him. I didn't want things to escalate; I didn't want to deal with cops or wake up my new neighbors. At this point, I just wanted to sleep. I had to repeat myself multiple times for them to leave my house. They both refused to go, so I did threaten to call the cops, and that's what got them out. Anthony walked out first and didn't say anything. Isabel started to walk out, but before she walked out the door, she told me something I will never forget. She told me, and I remember what she said exactly word for word. She told me,
"You ruin everything. You ruined my love life when you stole Anthony from me. I knew him first and loved him first. You just came and stole him from me, You should know better than to be stealing someone's boyfriend. I never did anything to you for you to do what you did. You don't know how much pain you put me through. Don't talk to me ever again. I never want to see you. I don't want you around me at all. I hate you so much because you f***ed up my life. Don't talk to me. I hope your epilepsy kills you because that would make me feel so much better. It would be best for you to not be around anymore. I wish we weren't related. I wish you were dead."
There were a few things I wanted to say to that, but the 'I hope your epilepsy kills you' threw me off and hurt me even more. She walked out, slamming my door behind her. Few things I want to get clear. One when I met Anthony I didn't know she was in love with him. Two, they were not dating when we met or got together; they said they were just friends. Three, she never told me how she felt about him. I don't understand why she didn't just say something because if she had said something when he asked me out, I would have told him "No." and said the reason why. And Four, I was never told anything about the so-called 'Pain' I put her through. When she told me not to talk to or be around her, I thought it was better that way because I didn't want to talk to or be around her.
Fast forward to 2/14, I'm sitting next to Sergio and I am showing him a video on Instagram. I got a message from Isabel which was weird cause we had not talked since the cheating happened. I ignored the message and continued to show the video. I didn't care about whatever it was she messaged about nor did I even want to open it. After the video was over I went in and deleted the message without looking at it. Then I got another one from Isabel. Those messages kept coming in until I went in and blocked her. I didn't block her before because she didn't bother me after everything that happened. After the blocking, I just continued to scroll through Instagram. I stopped on a post that was posted by my cousin Eliyana (She is Isabel's youngest sister.) She posted a few videos and photos with the caption reading 'Congratulations to my sister Isa and future brother-in-law Anthony on their engagement. You guys make a beautiful couple.' Scrolling through the pictures I saw a few of my family members in it, some of our mutual friends, and then of course Isabel and Anthony. I sat at the table kind of shocked but then again not really. I was only shocked because I found it surprising that they would get married so soon and I thought it was a little too fast. Then I reminded myself that they had known each other for a very long time so I guess it might make sense in their twisted minds but it's whatever. I proceeded on with my night since the bell had rung to go back to work.
Time skip to when I got out of work the next day 2/15 technically speaking. I stood outside my work building waiting for my friends to come out. I checked my phone because I had left it in my bag in the breakroom cubby-hole thingy. While checking the notifications I had seen I got missed calls and a bunch of text messages from the family. Then got an incoming call from my cousin Ryan (Isabel's oldest brother). I answered it but as soon as I answered my friends came out. I had to tell Ryan that I would call him when I got home because I was busy at work. I hung up on him but doing so he was trying to talk. I continued to talk to my friends. We stood outside the work building for a good 15 minutes or so to wait for the parking lot to clear. Everyone is so in a hurry to get home it's insane but understandable because it's early as f*** and everyone is tired. When most of the lot was cleared we started to go our separate ways. I had given Sergio are ride so he was with me. We started walking to my car and reflecting on how the rest of our shifts went after lunch. Once we got to my car I unlocked threw my phone on the seat and opened up the trunk. I started to throw my lunch box, backpack, and other stuff in the trunk while Sergio put all his stuff in the back seat and got in the car. My phone started ringing again and I told Sergio to answer it. Didn't know it was my cousin trying to call me again. When Sergio answered he didn't even get a word in because my cousin started talking saying... "Dude. I know you are busy and you are at work but I need to talk to you about Isa and I don't- who the f*** are you? where's my cousin?" Lol, I did not know it was a FaceTime call and for me, it was kind of funny. Sergio proceeded to tell my cousin I was doing something and for him to hold on. My cousin was trying to yell at Sergio asking who he was and other nonsense. I got in the car and Sergio handed me my phone and told him "You didn't tell me if was a FaceTime call. haha." He laughed and said "Dude I wasn't even paying attention. I just answered it." Then we both laughed and I got on the FaceTime call. Saw my cousin sitting with his Girlfriend but she wasn't paying attention she had her headset on and was playing a video game. "What's up?" I asked. He proceeded to spill all that went down at my cousin's party. He told me how she made a speech and practically dragged my name through the mud. He told me to ignore all messages, vm, voicemails, and other methods when it came to the family trying to contact me. I told him I didn't plan on viewing anything or hearing anything and I was not surprised she talked sh*t about me. I also told him I wouldn't have answered the phone if he called either because I didn't know if he took her side or not. He understood why I told him that but he also said he could tell that she was lying but he wanted to also get my side of the story. I told him I'd have to talk to him once I got home and I would call him back later. He agreed and apologized to Sergio because he thought he had stolen my phone or something.
Once I had gotten back home I called my cousin before I passed out. I explained to him what happened when I got home from work that day. Then told him what she said to me about my epilepsy and how that added to not wanting to be around her but mainly because she said she didn't want me around. I told him word for word about what she said. I gave him every detail he needed and I spoke the truth. Then he gave me the breakdown of the story she told the family. She told the family that we were not together anymore but we were just living together because of the bills and both our names being on the apartment lease. She also advised the family that she was staying at the apartment because she was moving in once I was out. She told the family that everything that happened was at the apartment and I did what I did was out of jealousy and because I was crazy. She claimed I was just being a bch and didn't like that I was being replaced because he dumped me. She said she did nothing wrong because we were already broken up. She claimed to have reached out to me to talk about what happened but when she called I answered and told her to fk off and that I said some other nasty things to her that 'broke her heart' because words like that aren't meant to be said to family. During her speech that she did, she talked so much sh*t about me and some of the family agreed but some of the other family didn't.
Ryan went into detail about a lot of things she said. He explained to me that from his perspective her story did not make any sense. I explained my side of the story to him and he said it made more sense to him about what happened. He believed me and told me which family members believed her side was confusing because they knew some details the other side didn't. For example, they knew I got a house and from their understanding, we were still together because of a video I posted to Facebook about being so happy we got a house together. Another thing was that Anthony tried to keep it a secret but he opened up his big mouth about wanting to propose to me soon after getting everything situated. Therefore one side knew and the other didn't and I don't understand how they didn't. Overall Ryan believed me and apologized for Isa's behavior even though he shouldn't because he's not Isa and he had nothing to do with what happened.
My relationship with Anthony wasn't exactly perfect because what relationship is? However, we hardly fought and always trusted each other. When we did fight it was over the little things like washing dishes, taking trash out, and other stuff. We talked things out like we should. I thought I could trust him. Now I feel like I can't trust anyone.
Fast forward to 4/3. Time had passed and it felt like it went by quickly but as time went on I let go of everything that happened and slowly started to get over Anthony. As time passed I started to have a thing for Sergio because he was such a sweet guy. We started to spend a lot more time together outside of work as well. I also had barely spoken to the family except a few like Ryan, My grandmother, my Uncle (My Grandma's youngest son), and some of my other cousins. I also had to explain my story to the mutual friends I shared with my cousin and some of those friends believed me and others didn't so to me it was a whatever kind of thing I was over it. It's like you either believe me or you don't the choice is yours. Anyway, I went to Grandmother's house before heading to work to drop off some groceries I had gotten her and to tell her she didn't have to worry about her phone and electricity bill. When I got there I went inside and saw Isabel and Anthony sitting at the table sharing a meal with my Grandma. Just said 'Hi' and then looked away from them and looked at Grandma. I told her what I needed to tell her then was going to leave. Before I could leave she told me to sit and eat. I told her I had to get to work. She didn't take no for an answer and I of course was not going to argue with her so I sucked it up and sat down. They were talking about the wedding and I sat there in silence. Them talking about the wedding didn't bother me it was the staring coming from Anthony that bothered me. I continued to eat and ignore it but I was thinking about Sergio the whole time. My phone started ringing so I looked to see who was calling and it was Sergio. I answered my phone and they all looked at me. Sergio just wanted to know if we were going to take something for lunch or just eat whatever was at the snack area at work. I told him I could pick up a pizza or something for us before heading to work. Then we ended the call. Grandma asked me who it was that called and I told her it was one of my co-workers. We didn't talk about him after that. Once I had finished eating I told my Grandma thank you and I was going to head to get that pizza and head to work. Before I could leave my cousin gets up and heads to the counter going through a bag. She pulled out a pink envelope that had my name written on it in cursive and then handed it to me. Then tells me.
"I don't want to fight anymore. I want you to come to the wedding. I'm sorry and I want you to be there and you can bring a plus one if you want. This fighting is stressful I love you very much. Of course, I know that you know what you did was uncalled-for childish but we can overlook that."
My thoughts went elsewhere and wanted to say something but I didn't want to say anything in front of my Grandma. My Grandma didn't want anything to do with what happened and she didn't know much. She said she could never choose between her Grandchildren. I knew my cousin's apology was a fake one. I knew because she gave me a dirty look and she got away with it because she was facing away from my Grandma while I was facing towards her. I was fighting the urge to slap or punch her. I was no longer mad about her stealing Anthony from her I was mad at the fact that she said it was my fault when it wasn't, she was still going with her lies.
I grabbed the invitation anyway. I told my Grandma bye and left. I headed to get the pizza and then went to work. After doing all that I finally got to work and was sitting in the parking lot. I was frustrated and wanted to punch something. I wanted to throw and burn the invitation but I got curious and opened it up. The wedding was set for 5/10 at 4 pm till whenever I guess. I already made the decision that I would not be attending. I tore the invitation up and then got out of my car. I grabbed my stuff and then walked toward the nearest trashcan and tossed the invitation inside. I continued with my day.
Now to the present(ish). Back on 5/2, I was at work having lunch with Sergio. I've spent a lot of time in and outside of work with him and he confessed his emotions towards me and I told him how much I liked him as well. He asked me out on a date on our day off which was last Friday (The day of my cousin's wedding.) I agreed of course and I forgot about that date being my cousin's wedding but it didn't matter because I wasn't planning on going anyway. So I agreed to the date and he told me it would be a surprise what we would do and I agreed and didn't mind. I was just so happy that I was going to be going on a date with him because I had fallen so hard for this guy.
From that point on throughout the week I was getting calls and messages from the family asking if I would be attending my cousin's wedding. They knew she had given me an invitation but she was telling the family she was not sure if I was going to go. Now at the point like I had put I had forgotten about it. I told them I would not be able to attend because I had an important thing going on that I could not miss. Then I was told I needed to stop being childish and move on. Also being told I just need to be happy for Isabel and Anthony and stop being bitter. I told them I was not bitter I just had something important going on and it was not a lie. They claimed I was lying. They of course told me there was nothing more important than family and I would regret not going. I wanted to ignore them so much but they kept contacting me from so many different numbers and creating fake accounts just to message me and stuff. They even came to my house. It was getting super irritating.
Ryan even came to the house before I headed to work. Now Ryan I don't mind because we of course are getting along. He showed up a few hours before I had to go to work. I let him in knowing he was going to talk to me about going to the wedding. Our conversation wasn't bad or anything. He just told me that I should go to the wedding so it could shut the family up and prove to them I was over the situation (In which he knew I was. He even knew about Sergio because I told him about him.). He told me just like everyone else to bring a plus one and recommended I bring Sergio. (Now I didn't tell him I was going to go on a date with Sergio and of course, had not told him it was on the day of the wedding.). He told me it would prove a point to the family and I would win the war. Which made me laugh when he said that.
I knew he had a point though. If I went it would possibly shut the family up. It would be so that I could care less about them being in a relationship. However scared at the same time because anything is possible with my family it could end up being bad or good something you'd never know. I didn't even know who I could bring as a plus one that would keep me sane because I was not comfortable bringing Sergio because I didn't think he would feel comfortable. Another thing was if I decided to go then I would have to cancel things with Sergio and I don't want to. My heart broke just thinking about canceling. But then I decided that I might just go to the wedding because like my cousin said it might shut up the family. I was just disappointed I would have to cancel my plans and I hope he wouldn't be mad at me. Sergio does know everything about what happened with my family though because I vented to him about everything.
When my cousin left and I got to work I texted him that I would go. I would go to just prove a point. I was not happy at all I felt so sad. I needed to find a way fast to tell Sergio that I was not going to be able to go on a date with him. I sat in my car and Sergio tapped on my window. I opened the door and let him in. He scared me to be honest because I was in my world at that point. We sat in my car until it was time to go in. In that time I managed to find the words to tell him what I needed to tell him. I even told him how sad I was about it but also told him I wanted my family to leave me alone and they were stressing me out. He understood and told me he could understand I was under a lot of stress. I had asked if we could reschedule for the day after. I was scared he was going to say no. However, what surprised me was he asked if he could escort me just to help me prove my point but mainly because he still wanted to spend time with me. I told him only if he wanted to and if he felt comfortable and he said yeah. I told him the time and all the other stuff he needed to know.
Now wedding day rolls around 5/10. We go together and stuff feels so awkward and I'm about to lose my mind from all the awkwardness. The only one that was chill was Sergio which made me feel a little better. The family acknowledged us and was happy that I came. The other side who was still giving me problems was of course surprised and of course, talking about me being there. I was holding Sergio's hand as we walked into the venue. I talked to some of my family and introduced Sergio to them. They of course asked questions like how we met, how long we've been dating, and everything else. We sat down at a table with Ryan and his Girlfriend. We talked amongst ourselves. I started to ease up and not care about my family staring. When Ryan got up to go dance with His Girlfriend it was just me and Sergio sitting and talking up until he asked me to dance to a slow song they were playing. I told him I don't dance but he got me to dance anyway. While slow dancing I noticed my family still staring at us. Specifically, the side that was mad at me. I focused on Sergio as we danced and talked. We were laughing while dancing because I am a horrible dancer. When he spun me around I saw my cousin dancing with Anthony but as they were dancing their attention was on us the whole time. Once the song was over we went straight to the table. We honestly spent most of the night at the table talking. That was something I didn't mind because I love the times when we just sit and talk. Some of my family had come up to us and talked to us and I of course introduced Sergio to them. The night itself wasn't too bad we just kept to ourselves we only got up a few times from the table. We had left earlier than everyone else because I had proven my point and I just wanted to be alone with him and not spend so much time around the family. I said goodbye to the ones I do get along with.
Now for yesterday. Since Friday I've been continuing to get nasty messages. I swear I cannot win with my family. They told me I was being a hoe and being rude for bringing the guy that I cheated on Anthony with. I was told that I was stealing the spotlight from my cousin by bringing a more attractive guy than Anthony as my plus-one (Now that one made me laugh because I agree Sergio is more attractive but like I just found it funny that they said that because how is that even a thing?). They told me I was being petty. Told me that I embarrassed myself by coming. Told me I looked horrible. Was told that my cousin is upset I stole the spotlight from her and I did it on purpose. I was told I shouldn't have brought him with me because it was unnecessary and I was just trying to get attention. Then advised it was an a**hole move and if it was a stunt I was gonna pull I shouldn't have gone. That's just a few things that were said there was so much more.
I do not understand how I stole the spotlight or anything at all. I went and didn't do anything. I had one dance with Sergio and we stayed at the table talking. We talked to some of the family and that is all. They make it seem like I went and did something to my cousin. AITA?

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/user posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 8th May 2024
Update - 9th May 2024
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AITA for not listening to and kicking my husband out after he said “I love you” for the first time
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Advice Needed We’re both Indian but we’ve both lived in North America since our childhoods. As you might guess, it was an arranged marriage so we only met a couple of times before the wedding. He told me right away that he had just gone through a breakup with a long time girlfriend and it was the only reason he was going down the arranged marriage route. I was fine with this as long as there wouldn’t be any infidelity issues down the line and he promised.
He stayed true to this but he was very cold to me for the first couple of months. In these months, we got intimate very often but the relationship felt purely physical and lacked any emotional or personal connection. Even the ring he got me was a $60 plain ring from Walmart. Seeing that honestly broke my heart and I wasn’t sure if he would ever actually love and care about me.
The one thing he did for me was noticing that I was struggling and overworked at my job. He makes 12 times what I was making at my job and told me that I didn’t have to work and could be a housewife/homemaker as his income was more than enough to afford us a very comfortable lifestyle. I want to clear this and say that he never pressured or manipulated me into quitting my job, the decision was solely mine. Anyway, this gave me a lot of time to really get to know him, learn to cook his favorite meals, etc. Despite me trying everything to be the best possible wife to him, he was still super cold to me and the most affection I got was a smile for anything I would do for him.
Suddenly, just before our three month anniversary, he asked me if I wanted to join him on a walk after dinner. That walk was the first time I felt him being affectionate and caring. These walks became our new normal and it expanded to actual date nights, spontaneous activities, better intimacy. I feel super loved and safe with him. Everything became great - he would compliment and appreciate even the smallest things, surprise me with gifts and flowers, makes me feel beautiful but he never said “I love you” despite me saying it very often and this was nearing our first anniversary.
The night before our first anniversary, we were watching a show together and around 11:30pm, he said let’s go for a walk. He had planned this and our walk went so we reached my favorite spot in our area, a specific spot along a walking path with a beautiful view of the nearby lake, just before midnight. He apologized for how cold and distant he was in the first few months after the wedding, followed by him telling me how thankful he was to have me as his wife and appreciating my presence turned his “giant pile of bricks” (referring to the house we live in) into a place he can actually call home.
At midnight (aka our anniversary), he told me loved me and got on one knee and slid a beautiful diamond-studded ring onto my finger and presented me with my favorite flowers that he had hid nearby a few hours ago. He had some friends of ours secretly record and take pictures of this entire conversation. I couldn’t stop smiling. The beautiful ring, his “I love you”, his genuine appreciation meant the world to me.
24 hours and many more I love yous later, we had just got home from our anniversary dinner. We looked at our photos of the previous night and the dinner and I posted some on my social media. A few minutes later, I got a nasty DM from his longtime ex calling me names like whore and slut and saying I ruined their relationship and she should be the one with the ring and just shitting on my entire existence. She also sent an intimate video of her and my husband.
I started crying and yelling at my husband, accusing him of cheating. My husband showed me his phone and it showed 1000s of messages from his ex over the past year that he never responded to. My husband hugged me and held me close but I couldn’t stop crying and asked my husband to leave the house. He reluctantly agreed, hugged me again and promised he never betrayed me and headed to his best friend's place for the night.
I feel so insecure because his ex is so much more attractive than I am and the video showed how intensely in love they were. I asked two of my girlfriends to spend the night and they came immediately and were able to calm me down. My husband came by the next day to talk but couldn’t bear to look at him. I asked him to give me some time alone. He said ok and kissed my forehead and dropped off some food and my favorite chocolate he had got for me.
Three days went by like this and I called him asking if he could come back home. He left work early and came straight to me. I didn’t even say anything, I just broke down crying when I saw him. He held me close and promised that the only woman he cares about is me, his wife. It’s been a four days since he came back home and he’s been giving me flowers, random hugs and kisses, everything a wife dreams of getting from her husband but I just can’t move on from seeing that video of him and his ex.
My husband has been trying to talk to me about this but I’ve been shutting down any conversation. He tried again during dinner today and this time I blew up at him and told him to leave. It was something in the heat of the moment but he looked hurt. He packed some clothes and said he’s going back to his friend’s place until I’m ready to talk. I tried to stop him when he was leaving but he left anyway and won’t pick up my calls. My girlfriend (his friend’s wife) called and said he’s staying over for at least the night.
I called my sister and explained the whole situation to her. She told me I fucked up big time and told me I was an asshole for 1) kicking him out the first time 2) not even being open to a conversation 3) kicking him out again
AITA? I understand that my husband is innocent in this but no one seems to understand what I’m going through seeing that video.
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Comments
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Level-Fortune-4062
YTA. 100%, you know he didn’t do anything and still kicked him out. Your sister is right about what you did wrong, which was everything here. You had a right to be angry but not at him, not even a little bit, he didn’t do it, the ex did.
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newtonianlaws
YTA you won and you’re ruining your own happiness. Take a victory lap, then show your hubby how happy you are that you love each other. You are bitter about how he treated you at first, but he was being attacked emotionally by his ex. I’m not sure how you let that go and get out of the way of yourself living happily ever after.
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No_Teacher_3313
People have pasts. Generally they’ve been in love before and had sex before. He loves you now. You can have a whole happy life together. The ex lost and is bitter. It’s not your husband’s fault she is trying to create trouble. Try not to fixate on the video. Block her and move on.
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RevolutionaryDot3432
The ex isn’t trying to cause trouble she succeeded in causing trouble. Got what she wanted too cause OP’s going to lose her husband for acting like this and the ex will be able to swoop in and be his shoulder to cry on.
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**Judgement - YTA*\*
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Update - 1 day later
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I couldn’t sleep after he left the second time (last night) and stayed up reading every single comment. Thank you all for helping me realize how much I was hurting my husband by not being open to a conversation and repetitively asking him to leave. I called him again. He didn’t pick up so I left a voicemail and begged him to come home and promised that we could talk about everything. He couldn’t sleep either and came home around 3am. I was still awake and asked if we could talk now. We sat down and I began the conversation.
I explained that I truly love him but seeing the intense chemistry he and his ex had in the video made me feel jealous and insecure. He promised that that was something of the past and I am his present and future and he only loves me. I apologized for ignoring his attempts at talking to me and telling him to leave. I said a lot of I’m sorrys and promised to be a better communicator. He forgave me but also told me that he was at fault as well. He said he enabled his ex by not blocking her, giving her the idea that she still had a chance with him, which caused her to try to come after me and cause a rift in our marriage. He also told me she messaged him the day after sending the message and video, again begging him to leave me for her. He apologized for “his part in letting his ex disrespect” me and showed me he had blocked her now. We decided to not go to counseling for now and just work on things ourselves.
For my self-esteem issues regarding thinking his ex was much more attractive than me, my husband reassured me and told me that I’m perfect the way I am and he loves every part of me. He suggested that some sort of physical exercise could help me improve my own self-confidence, the same way weightlifting helped him when he was going through a dark phase in his late teens. So I’m going to be joining a pilates class, where a couple of my girlfriends already go quite regularly.
We spent a few more hours just talking and the topic of his ex came up and I asked if he could tell me what happened between them. Long story short, he was reluctant to tell me, his ex of 4 years cheated when he was planning to propose, he went on a bender, parents asked if he wanted to try the arranged marriage route, he agreed saying he was in no condition to make good decisions. We met a month after he got clean and things went from there.
He said he regrets treating me poorly early in our relationship and regrets giving me the shitty Walmart ring because of what another woman did to him and asked for my forgiveness. About the thousands of messages, he didn’t block his ex on any form of communication because his “revenge” was showing her his life could be better without her, but admitted he also found her desperation pretty funny. We read some of the messages together and had a nice laugh before he deleted all of them permanently on his own accord.
So that’s that I guess. Talking with him went as best as it could have. He forgave me and admitted to and apologized for his parts in this. We fell asleep together, I cooked his favorite meal for lunch, we went on a walk, and all seems good. Thank you everyone for helping me realize how much we needed to calmly talk to each other.
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Comments
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misteraustria27
Wow. Once in a blue moon the comments on a post are good and actually make the person think and realize their error. All the best for your future.
Sohlayr
That was really a beautiful story. I wish you both many happy years and as many healthy children as you both desire. Coming from a Western culture, I can’t imagine how difficult and scary an arranged marriage can be for both sides. You should both be proud!
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Chapter 1 People are so…. Social. I grew up in a small town in Arizona and I’ve always loved the peace and quiet. But as I aged, graduating high school and spending a restless summer trying to divine what a broke carpenters son could do with his life (and probably drinking and smoking too much.) the small town gossip really started to wear on me. I’ve never been a social butterfly, preferring to mind my own business and let others mind theirs. But in a small town that’s a luxury you can’t afford. Everyone there has watched you mature from a scrawny kid with a stutter to a quiet but confident young man and, as such, feel that they have some obligation to be sure that your life is going to go in the right direction. There’s only so many questions a 19 year old can take about a lack of college and girlfriends. Only so many conversations following the familiar lines of “well you know, college is there to prove to employers you can show up at the same time and place for 4 years.” Or “don’t rush it, I found my wife when I finally gave up on looking!” Or, most aggravating “God works in mysterious ways!” (No shit Barbara, he’s an unknowable, omnipotent entity and you sell Sephora.(Don’t you have a bland youth group sermon to give?) I guess this is my way of explaining why I left my hometown so hastily the beautiful autumn after graduation. My folks were pleased to see I was going to “find myself.” As my mother so romantically put it. They hoped I’d find some kind of inspiration out on life’s grand highway. My dad chuckled, his eyes full of memories from the days he was young and free, a youthful joy that even 25 years in construction couldn’t dampen. “Go sow your wild oats son! Just remember you’ll reap them in the end.” He said, a mischievousness that was rare for him lightening the words. That is how I came to be here, in Golden Meadow, Louisiana. “Arizona plates? Well ain’t you a long way from home?” The deep southern drawl, by now familiar to me after a week of driving through Louisiana, cut through a perfectly quiet morning. Great. A socialite. Why did I have to choose the south for this roadtrip? I forced a polite smile and turned to face dreaded small talk as I began pumping my gas. “That’s right!” As I spoke I sized up my new best friend. A short, profusely sweating man stood before me. He must have been about 5’ 5”, well below my respectable height of 6’. His hair, greasy but trimmed nicely, his sheriffs hat…. Fuck. This is a cop. “Sheriff E. Gore, pleased to meet you!” He drawled again, his accent, I noted, more Texas than Cajun. He extended a sweaty hand, which I took as a good sign. (The law usually isn’t so friendly to suspicious people.) I shook his hand, surprised by the strength that this somewhat rotund sheriff had, his grip strong but measured. I returned his introduction. “David Lawrence.” “What brings you down to our little town son?” I took a deliberate look around before I answered, my gaze sweeping over the small gas station, the almost empty street, the abandoned buildings, a liquor store and a dilapidated dollar general. “Just passing through.” It probably wouldn’t take long, I thought to myself. I could see most of town from where I was. My gaze returned to Sheriff Gore, and I realized he was staring at me hard, gauging me for something. “I’m on a bit of a roadtrip.” I added, trying to remove his focus from my arms. “Well built aren’t ya?” The Sheriff said. Jesus, what a way to start a conversation with a stranger. I forced through the awkwardness. “Yessir.” Forced grin, wishing my gas would pump faster. “I try to stay active.” The Sheriff’s attentive gaze and fixed smile never strayed from me. “How nice! You know, you should stick around town awhile, we’ve got lots to offer!” I decided to myself that I didn’t like the Sheriff, my earlier thought that he likely wasn’t suspicious since he was so friendly now giving way to the feeling that he was too friendly. I gritted my teeth. “I really would, but I’m trying to make it to New Orleans.” I said, maintaining my politely measured tone. I had no interest in staying in this town. “That’s such a shame.” The Sheriff said, his voice betraying disappointment. “It’s a lovely town, it really is.” I was saved from my own awkward response to his too-friendly, begging statement by his radio crackling loudly from his cruiser, parked outside the gas station convenience store. The words, unintelligible to me, evidently made sense to Gore, as he swung around and strolled back to his cruiser. He was oddly quick for a guy of his stature. “Well, good luck on the road Lawrence.” He shouted over his shoulder as he left. “Be careful on the roads and come visit us again real soon!” I shook off the bile-like aftertaste of Gore’s stare and went back to doing what I do best. Minding my own damn business. I wouldn’t be in town long. What I’d told the Sheriff was true. I was headed to New Orleans. My red ‘69 mustang and I were scheduled to enjoy a beautiful city, far from the normal tourist season, here in early October. The food, the music, the bars, all promised to be excellent and uncrowded, allowing a drifting 19 year old a place to breathe and make decisions. Maybe I’d find some work and stay awhile. Or I’d stay a week and then continue “Dave’s Grand Tour” as I’d taken to calling my trip. The idea of Dave’s Grand Tour was simple; find a place that speaks to me. I had no interest in college, as I’d found during high school that an enterprising young man could make a good bit of money just by taking opportunities when they come. I’d worked at a county fair, for the railroad and for local farmers and ranchers and I had found that there were lots of ways to make money. And I didn’t want to tie myself to a career. After all, my dad had built a pretty great life doing carpentry, something that didn’t take much time to learn. (Of course I’d already learned, from helping him.) I contemplated these things as I pulled out of the filling station and back onto the road. Not much farther to New Orleans. As I drove through town, past a small town mechanic, a diner and a tidy row of houses, I almost felt bad for leaving. This town was clearly dying. Empty buildings, boarded windows and beat up cars told the story of a town in decline. The coastal fishing village was picturesque though, and its people were friendly and polite. With the exception of Sheriff E. Gore. What the hell was that guys prob.. I was tore from my thoughts as the unmistakable sound of a popped tire hissed above the growl of my car. “Shit.” I muttered, pulling over to assess the damage. The damage, as it turned out, was extensive and likely expensive. The ‘stang was equipped with beautiful whitewall tires, painstakingly sourced by my grandfather during the restoration I had helped him with during his final years. Cancer is a bitch, especially when you’re 72. He had handled it well though, and had the car (as well as some of his savings) to me when he passed. Grandma had gone ahead of him some years before. I reiterate, cancer is a bitch. And now my beautiful car was down two tires, both passenger side whitewalls punctured by a myriad of screws and nails. I stared in disbelief. Wandering back down the road I found their source, an overturned coffee tin which was clearly some tradesman’s “spare shit” bin. Shaking my head and muttering expletives I strolled back to my car. Of course I had a spare in the trunk, and all the tools to change a tire, but who carts a second spare tire around? Still muttering words I could never let my mother hear, I searched on my phone for the number to the mechanic I had passed, finding an oddly polished website. JP’s machine and tire shop had someone tech savvy on the payroll. And they were punctual. Less than 15 minutes later I was standing on the concrete shop floor, watching JP himself remove my tires. “Lord, you’ve had some bad luck!” He boomed. I’d decided I liked JP. He was a big man, with a tanned face and forearms, betraying many days spent on the sun-soaked waters of the bay. “How in gods name did you manage to get this many holes in such nice tires?” I laughed. “I’m Gods strongest soldier I guess.” JP roared out a laugh. Laughter came easy to him it seemed. “There’s good news and bad news.” He said, awhile later. I’d quietly sat in a comfy chair in the shops waiting area, reading, while he focused on his work. “What’s the bad news?” I asked. “You’ve got to wait two days for new tires.” JP replied. I’d figured as much. What kind of small town auto shop would have whitewalls for a 1969 mustang just lying around. “Good news is, I got you a helluva deal on them. Buddy of mine runs a classics restoration shop in Orleans. He’ll send a truck to deliver your tires, but he’s short handed, thus the wait.” This was excellent (and intriguing) news. I’d expected the wait to be much longer, and the cost to be higher. As JP broke down my bill, explaining the pricing, I couldn’t help but feel pretty lucky, all things considered. I paid JP (thank you Grandpa) and wandered out into the Golden Meadow sunshine, my backpack slung over my shoulder.
Chapter 2 It was a damn fine evening on the bayou. I was paddling along between small islands overgrown with thick river reeds, in a kayak I’d rented from a local fishing guide named Sam. I’d spent the afternoon fishing from the kayak, with a breakdown rod I kept in my backpack. Now, as the sun was sinking low, turning the water orange and pink in the dying light, I paddled gently back to town. As I made it to the dock where Sam had told me to leave the kayak (very trusting fellow, Sam was) I heard faint music. It grew louder as I came closer to the dock. A myriad of fishing vessels, speedboats and jet skis obscured it as I drew close. But as I tied the kayak in place at Sam’s dock, I made out the lyrics. I recognized the song. Brown Haired Blue Eyed Baby, by JD Clayton. Excellent song. That was when I saw her. Standing on a tall fishing boat at the next dock over. She. Was. Breathtaking. With dark brown hair and a deep tan, she looked to be about my age. She was coiling a rope, faced away from me, singing along to the music. I suddenly realized I was staring, not saying anything, and she had no idea I was there. Realizing that this could be a bad look for me, I cast my eyes downward and dropped my backpack onto the dock, letting it fall heavily. I glanced up as she swung around, pretending I hadn’t seen her until now. “Oh, hey!” I said, a bit too loudly. After a pause she returned the greeting somewhat cautiously. “Hey.” Words failed me. She had turned to face me now and I saw her eyes for the first time. They were a vivid blue, that reflected the light from the water, even as the sun sank. I had a sudden burst of confidence, thinking to myself that worst case scenario, e.g. rejection, I could always just leave in two days and never see her again. “Hey, listen, this might be a little too bold, but you are incredibly pretty.” I said, the words rushing from my mouth. She seemed shocked, and for a second I thought she was disgusted. Then her cheeks flushed and I realized she was blushing. I pushed on. “Sorry, sorry, that was probably a little too much, I’m so..” she cut me off with a laugh. Damn, even her laugh was cute. “It’s okay!” She exclaimed, breathlessly. “you just surprised me, that’s all.” I smiled broadly. She returned the smile. “I’m Dave.” I said, somewhat sheepishly. Extending a hand upwards to her perch on the boat. Still smiling she took it and said “I’m Emmy Lou.” Emmy Lou and I ended up talking for almost an hour as the sun disappeared and the moon shone brightly upon us. She told me about her life, growing up a local in this small town, working on one of Sam’s guide boats. I told her about Arizona, the summer I spent restoring my mustang (I mostly just wanted her to know I had a cool car), and all about Dave’s Grand Tour. She was sweet, a good listener, but she seemed tough, a girl who knew how to handle herself, even at 18. She was still living with her parents, saving up to move out. “Where will you go?” I asked her. “When you move out I mean.” She shrugged. “I don’t know. Haven’t really thought that far ahead. Maybe to Texas? I’ve always wanted to be a cowgirl.” I grinned. “You’d certainly make a good one.” I replied. “And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” She exclaimed in a joking manner. Her and I had fallen into a rhythm of teasing and joking very easily. I laughed as I replied in protest, “No, no, I didn’t mean it like that! You just seem to be naturally good at most things you try.” She blushed again. It was almost a familiar sight to me now. She broke eye contact. She generally had to be the first one to do so, since I seemed to be frozen every time I looked in her eyes. “Listen.” She said, standing up. “This has been a lot of fun, but I’ve gotta get home. My folks will be worried.” I stood as well. “Oh, alright.” I couldn’t hide my disappointment. “Hey, I’ll be around town tomorrow, since my tires won’t be in. Maybe I could see you around?” She looked down at her toes and said quietly “I’d like that.” We wished each other good night and went our separate ways, her to her parents place and me to a quiet motel room near the mechanic, a 20 minute walk away. I was almost to the motel when the light flashed across me. It was a flashlight beam, coming from the sidewalk in front of me. I froze. “Well hey there son!” Came a long southern drawl. “Decided to stay in town after all?” For some reason, the Sheriffs voice made my skin crawl. What made it worse was him shining the light in my face. It made it impossible to see him. I squinted hard. “Hey Sheriff. Yeah I’m in town for a couple days more.” Before I could continue (ask him to stop blinding me) he jumped in. “Now what’s held you up young fella. Car trouble?” He said. I paused. There was something about the way he asked the question that I didn’t like. Like he already knew the answer. “Yeah, how did you..” “Oh damn me!” He interrupted, not acknowledging my question at all. “I forgot!” He finally stopped shining the light in my eyes. (Hallelujah.) As my eyes readjusted to the dimly lit sidewalk, the flashlight now pointing down, the sheriff said “This here’s Mr. Wellers.” A deep new voice, clearly articulated “Hello Mr. Lawrence, the Sheriffs told me a lot about you.” I raised my eyes to meet this newcomers and was startled. In stark contrast to the Sheriff, Mr. Wellers was tall, well built and spoke with no accent. He had brown eyes, perfectly trimmed and combed blonde hair and was wearing… a lab coat? I blinked, my brain trying to process. All I could think to say was “Mister? Not….. doctor?” I thought it might be an offensive question at first, as the Sheriff looked at me reproachably and Mr. Wellers cast his eyes downward as if embarrassed. “I uhhhhh… used to be. My license was revoked.” Wow. There’s a rabbit hole I don’t need to go down within seconds of meeting this man. “Oh I’m so sorry” I said lamely. “That sucks.” “You’re damn right it does.” Growled out Gore. He seemed more offended over my apparent faux pa than his friend. “He was my personal doctor for many years. He’s a damned fine doctor too!” “E.” Mr. Wellers said quietly. “It’s alright.” This interaction had passed into the realm of the surreal. I had no idea why these two were out alone together after dark, and frankly I didn’t want to know. (Once again, minding my own business.) “Right… well it was good to see you, and nice meet you Dr. I mean… Mr. Wellers.” I cringed at my own words. God, just let me out of this conversation. “And a pleasure meeting you as well young man!” Said Mr. Wellers. I felt bad. He seemed like such a normal, reasonable guy when compared to Gore. “By the way.” His deep voice rang out again as I moved down the street. “What’s your blood type?” My brain malfunctioned. “My… uhm… what?” I struggled for words. “Blood type!” He exclaimed. Seeing the confusion in my eyes he elaborated. “We’re having a blood drive tomorrow.” (Oh hallelujah lord, thank god this guy doesn’t want to steal my blood.) “we could really use all we can get, you know. Being in a remote place like Golden Meadows it’s important we have a little extra on hand.” His tone put me at rest once more. “I’m O negative.” I said. “Universal donor. If I’ve got time tomorrow I’ll stop by.” I said it mostly to placate him and get out of the conversation faster. But his tone as he thanked me profusely, as well as the obvious gratitude in his doe brown eyes made me actually want to go help. I resolved myself to actually stop by and donate tomorrow. Might as well right? Not like I’ve got anything else to do. I finally made it to my hotel room and by the time I was cleaned up and in bed I had almost forgotten about the awkward demeanor of the pair. Although the Sheriff still made me hellishly uncomfortable. He had a way of staring at you like you were a snack he was about to eat. I shuddered, decided not to think about that anymore and rolled over, thinking of Emmy Lou and the possibilities of tomorrow.
Chapter 3 I was having some difficulty finding Emmy. I’d been down to the dock, had breakfast at the cafe, wandered the town and even hung out in the bait and tackle shop Sam run in conjunction with his guide business. No sign of her. I was checking out an enormous tarpon mounted above some fly rods when Sam’s voice floated over to me. “She’s out on the boat.” I heard the mirth in his voice and turned to face him. He was behind the counter, tying a huge streamer, round glasses perched precariously on the end of his long nose. He was an older man, maybe 50, with a bald head, strong hands and several old school tattoos, harkening back to his days in the navy. He looked over his glasses at me, his heavy eyebrows raised and a cheeky smile on his face. “She didn’t stop talking about you until they left.” He said. “Oh.” I blushed heavily. Looking back it must have been pretty obvious that I wasn’t there for hooks or spinning lures. “When will she be back?” I said, deciding not to hide my true motives. “Sunset.” He said. “Maybe sooner if they catch a big bait of red drum.” I nodded. “Thank you.” I said, and I meant it. I had been going crazy, cursing myself for not getting her number at least. But now my hope was restored. She’d be back. And then I could see her again. I headed towards the door. “Hey kid.” Sam called. I turned back to him. He had his glasses in his hand now, and he was looking at me with his full attention. “Yes sir?” “Don’t hurt her. She’s an angel and we’re all pretty protective of her.” I nodded. Sam was surely referring to his crew of fishermen and guides, a tough group of seamen, some of whom I’d met yesterday while they were gearing up for the afternoon. I definitely didn’t want to get on their bad side. Now it was Sam’s turn to nod. “Good.” Was all he said as he turned back to his work. I wandered back down the boardwalk into town, wondering how I would kill the long hours until sunset, when I saw the Sheriffs squad car. It was parked outside the small town hospital, and suddenly I remembered our awkward conversation last night. The blood drive! There’s a good way to kill an afternoon in the quietest town on the planet. I strolled across to the hospital, and walked through the sliding doors (the only set in town.) “Mr. Lawrence!” Mr. Wellers greeted me enthusiastically. “Glad to see you my boy!” People in this town sure get familiar fast. “Hey Mr. Wellers, where do I go for the blood drive?” The once-doctor directed me to his exam room. “I’ll just need to give you a checkup, make sure you’re in good shape to donate.” It seemed odd that he had an exam room, since he had no medical license. Come to think of it, I’ve never heard of getting a checkup before blood donation, but I shrugged it off as another oddity of Golden Meadows. Weird Sheriff, too-friendly strangers and the most beautiful girl (I believed.) in the south. This town was a trip. Mr. Wellers was talkative as he took my blood pressure, temperature, stared down my throat and peered into my eyes and ears, writing notes on his clipboard as he spoke. “You’re in damn fine health young man.” I knew I was. Years of physical activity and decent genetics (thanks dad.) kept me strong and healthy. I rarely got sick, played football through high school and never seemed bothered by sweltering Arizona heat, something that had benefited me greatly in the humid southern states. Mr. Wellers asked questions about all of these things. He seemed genuinely interested and I got the feeling he was asking more for his own curiosity than any official reason. “Well son,” he was saying now. “You’re the picture of health.” “Thanks.” I replied. “So where do I go to donate.” “Actually,” he said, a bit too quickly. “We’ve had a lot of donations today, far more than expected.” “Oh, so you don’t want me to donate?” I was confused. He’d made it seem like they seriously needed more donations. I brushed it off. Over-selling a problem did make sense. Sometimes it was the only way to get things done in a small town. “No no, we’d still love for you to donate!” He said, once again speaking quickly. “Just give me some time to make my preparations! He smiled, kindly. “Alright… “ I said, at a loss. This seemed so weird, I was beginning to get a bad feeling. Were Mr. Wellers motivations entirely… pure? He seemed to be trying to achieve something with his interactions with me, although I wasn’t sure what. “Well, I guess I’ll stop by later then.” I said, my voice laden with confusion. Mr. Wellers pretended not to notice, uttering vague complacencies as he sent me on my way. I stepped back out of the hospital, vaguely wondering why I hadn’t seen a single living soul inside besides Mr. Wellers. The reception desk had been empty since I came in, the intercom was quiet and I saw no nurses, doctors or patients. I’m starting to really hate the emptiness of this town. I wonder if my tires had come in…
Chapter 4 After a snack from the convenience store and a stop by JP’s to see my car I was wandering town again, aimlessly. The sheriff had driven past twice, smiling at me through his squad car window unblinkingly. I wondered what had happened to him in his life for his social behavior to be so odd. Maybe he had a bad childhood or was raised by an alligator or something. That would explain the toothy smiles and the never-blinking at least. It was about 2 o’clock. JP had assured me my tires would be in tomorrow, which suited me okay. I was almost hesitant to leave, since Emmy Lou was still in town and good lord knows I had an interest in her. Goodness she was fine. I was walking down the street, not really paying attention to anything going on, listening to in thoughts of Emmy. Her hair, her eyes, her walk, she walked… right behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. “Hey Dave!” I spun around, my mind returning guiltily from the gutter. “Emmy! Sam said you wouldn’t be off the boat until sundown!” “We limited out. What can I say, I’m just that good.” she spread her arms in a kind of proud shrug, a sarcastic-cocky smile on her face. I smiled too. She had that effect on me. “Hey, I realized I never got your number!” She looked surprised. “You want it?” Now I was surprised. “I… yeah, I really do. I mean, I think you’re great and I don’t want to lose contact when I…” the air around us suddenly felt heavier. I was suddenly nervous. Had I misjudged her interest? Did she see me as some passerby, a very temporary friend? A smile cautiously returned to her face. “You can have my number.” She said. “But if you move back to Arizona forever I’m not going to text you back.” Thank god. I thought I’d totally dropped the bag. “Deal.” I said, smiling once more. Emmy and I spent the afternoon talking as we saw the meager sights in town. We had an ice cream at the cafe, (rocky road for me, strawberry for her.) stopped by the mechanic (I really wanted to show off the car.) and then wandered out to the towns hiking path. Half a mile down the coast, down a dirt road, it was a great spot to be alone. I was promising Emmy a proper date once my car was running and she was laughing at me. “Sonic is not a real date.” She said through giggles. “Sonic is the perfect date. It’s like going to a restaurant but you don’t have to see any people.” I replied, playing up my anti-socialism to seem quirky, and praying it was working. As we reached the trailhead I heard the now familiar sound of the Sheriffs car on the road behind us. He wasn’t smiling this time. He watched us as we silently walked onto the trail. “Jesus, this dude is everywhere.” I muttered, as the trees began to obscure him from view. Emmys brow furrowed. (God she looked cute when she did that.) “What do you mean? He just sits at the cafe usually.” She said. “Wait, what?” Now my brow furrowed. “I’ve seen him all over town today. It’s like he’s following me.” “Maybe he thinks you’re trouble.” She teased. I shook my head. “Maybe. He’s been weirdly polite to me ever since we met.” Emmy shrugged. “Southern charm I guess. He’s a weird guy.” “Yeah he is. It feels like he’s” I made my voice as provocative as I could. “Checking me out.” I mocked a sexy stance. Emmy thought I was hilarious. She laughed and slapped my chest gently, her hand resting against me. Suddenly the air was heavy again. Her cheeks turned red but her hand stayed on my chest. My hands rested comfortably on her hips. This is as close as we’d been. Our eyes locked, her bright blue meeting my gentle brown. We stood there for a long time.
Chapter 5 The best part of road-tripping? Besides actually tripping, as I’d done in White Sands, New Mexico and a secluded beach in Texas. Sleeping in. My hotel room was perfect. I’d spent a lot of nights on Dave’s Grand Tour camping under the stars and it was amazing. But it wasn’t better than sleeping until noon on a thick mattress with the A/C blasting. I couldn’t have asked for a better night’s rest to end my trip in Golden Meadows. As I walked down to JP’s shop I reflected on the small towns impact on me. I was happy. JP was sitting in a rocking chair with his shop doors wide open. My car was next to him, four whitewall tires underneath. “Wondered when you’d be by.” Boomed JP. “Truck came this morning, she’s all ready for you.” His broad grin rippled across his face as he watched me inspect his work approvingly. “Thanks JP, this is amazing.” He nodded graciously as I tossed my backpack in the trunk. “Hey JP?” He noted my tone become more business-like and focused his eyes on me seriously. “Yessir?” He asked, his curiosity apparent. “That friend, the one with the restoration shop. Is he hiring?” JP’s eyebrows shot skyward. “Well son, I believe he is. You looking for work?” I nodded. “I’m thinking about settling down somewhere in the area, staying for a while.” JP grinned broadly again, his eyes betraying a secret. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with little miss Emmy Lou would it?” I blushed heavily. JP had watched Emmy and I as I showed her my car, explaining all the places I’d repaired and restored. He’d been grinning then too. “Well” JP’s voice returned to business and his eyebrows returned to their resting place. “Based on what I’ve seen of your work.” He gestured to the mustang. “I’d be willing to put in a good word with him.” “Thanks JP. I really do appreciate it.” And I did. The point of Dave’s Grand Tour was to find a place I could call home. And it was beginning to seem that I’d found it. I was on the road now, headed to New Orleans. JP had set up an interview for me with his friend and I was hopeful that it would work out. I’d been on the road about an hour, listening to music and texting Emmy, (don’t text and drive kids.) when I got the call. A blocked number. I didn’t answer the first three. But I finally decided it wasn’t scammers or something when the fourth call came, seconds after I’d sent the third to voicemail. “Hello?” I said. “Hello there Lawrence.” Came the Sheriffs voice, low and dripping with anger. “I have someone here who wants to talk to you.” “What the… what’s this all” I was cut off by Emmy’s voice. “Dave? Dave?!” There was panic in her tone and she sounded like she’d been crying. The brakes on the mustang squealed as my muscles responded on their own. I had turned around and was flying back to Golden Meadows as fast as the thought crossed my mind. “What is this?” I yelled. “Emmy what’s happening?!” Gores voice came crackling through the phone. “Meet me at Mr. Wellers office. Sundown.” And the line clicked off before I could answer. What was happening? “Oh god, oh god.” I said shakily as I pushed the mustang to new speeds. What was happening? What did the Sheriff want? Why did he have Emmy Lou?!
Chapter 6 GRAPHIC CONTENT. GRAPHIC CONTENT. DO NOT READ IF SQUEAMISH. I WARNED YOU. That was the longest drive of my life. I’d driven from Arizona to Louisiana, crossed Texas end to end in that car, but this drive was the worst. I was panicking. My tires slid easily as I gunned the engine, turning into the hospital parking lot. I stopped right in front of the doors and left the engine running as I sprinted headlong through them, barely giving them time to open. “GORE!” I yelled as I stepped into the lobby. “GORE WHAT DO YOU WANT?!” The lights were off, the air desperately still as I spun, looking every direction. Gore showed himself. He looked smug, his service pistol pressed against Emmys temple, her arm locked in his vice-like left hand. “There you are boy.” His thick accent dripped venom. “I didn’t find the perfect specimen just to let it slip away.” My mind reeled. Specimen? What was happening? And why did he have Emmy? What WAS this? Before I could collect my thoughts he spoke again, Emmy shaking in his grip, wordless, staring at me helplessly. “There’s a rag on the counter. Put it over your mouth and breathe in.” “What?” Why are you doing this?!” I said, the air in my lungs seemingly not enough to yell. “DO IT.” The Sheriff screamed, his face turning red. “DO IT OR I WILL SHOOT HER, SHOOT YOU AND HAUL YOUR LIFELESS BODY TO THE O.R.” His voice shook with rage, every syllable seeming to enrage him further. “Okay! Okay, I’ll do it.” I walked to the counter, my hands up, palms forward. I took the rag, placed it over my mouth and nose and breathed deeply. “Wake up Lawrence!” Came a singsong voice, breaking through my sleeping mind. “Waaaake upppp.” My eyelids were heavy. So heavy. I forced them up. Blue eyes stared down at me. Was that… Mr. Wellers? I tried to sit up, tried to speak, tried to move. I couldn’t. Mr. Wellers looked overjoyed. “Ahh the serum worked! Total paralysis, with a fully functioning mind!” His eyes. What was wrong with his eyes? Were they always… “I bet you’re wondering what’s happening to you.” Mr. Wellers said, his tone jovial. “You see Dave, I didn’t lie, we do desperately need donations. Just not blood.” He was holding… my eyes struggled to focus on the shining silver tool. A scalpel? “No no, we need far more precious donations.” A searing pain shot across my chest. Was he cutting into me?! He was staring at my chest as his hands worked, out of my view. The pain was unbearable. I couldn’t move, couldn’t scream, couldn’t even tense my body against the pain. Instead, my mind screamed, the searing feeling of a cold blade tracing below my ribs blocking all thought. “You know, I started the practice of organ transplants.” I heard Wellers speak as if underwater. “That was long before even your parents were born.” The cutting subsided, leaving a sharp ache that made me pray I’d black out. “I’ve been replacing parts as they get wore out ever since. A kidney here, a hand there. Much like you do with that car of yours.” His eyes met mine. Why were they… “of course, I need constant donations for this lifestyle.” He was speaking so calmly. “And you’ve got some shiny parts in here.” My stomach. What was he doing? “Like this lovely one here!” I felt a tugging sensation in my gut and Wellers voice faded away. Those eyes. My last thought made me wish I was dead. Those eyes. They weren’t his. They were Emmy’s. I don’t know how long it was before I awoke. But when I did I could move. I was in a stupor. All I saw were blurs. My body seemed to move on its own accord. I heard crying. I smelt something. Sweat. My mind was not working, but on some deep level my consciousness took hold. Sweaty pig. The thought slid across my delirious mind as my arms made contact with something solid but pliable. My lower consciousness took hold and I felt it give way beneath my strength. My hands felt wet. How odd. A voice. What a calming voice that is. Too bad. Such a shame. The thoughts slid across my mind, meaning nothing as my arms went about their task, levering some thing against something else. There was quite a bit of resistance. I felt it give way and a scream rippled across my absent mind. Hope I’m not breaking anything important. Another strange thought. Not mine. Whose? Why were my hands so wet? My chest too. What’s going…. I woke up for the second time. This time I could move and think both. Emmy Lou was beside my bed. I was in a hospital room. She was sleeping, a mask covering her eyes from the midday sun streaming through a window. I… remembered. “Emmy!” I yelled, tears coming to my eyes. I tried to stand but was held down by searing pain. Emmy rushed to my side, the mask still on her face. Wait. Not a mask. A bandage. “What happened?” I said, tears rolling down my face as I remembered everything that had happened. “Emmy? What happened?” She didn’t say anything. She was crying too, but no tears would come.
Epilogue That’s the story. What I can remember of it anyways. The cops told me the rest later. Mr. Wellers and Sheriff Gore had kidnapped Emmy and I. We were held in the hospital for days as everyone in town searched the river for our bodies. My mustang had been found submerged off the dock, and everyone thought Emmy and I were together in it. Her parents had cursed my name to a wordless ocean, screaming at the man who took their daughter, all while going to church with the Sheriff there to console them. The cops found us when Emmy Lou stumbled out into the street, screaming and blind. It had taken her hours to find her way out of the hospital. It’s hard to navigate when you can’t see. I had to hear the rest of the story from her. After our kidnapping they had operated on her. Removing her eyes, a third of her blood and one of her kidneys. Then they went to work on me. I’m still not entirely sure what they took from me. Everything seems to still be intact, my body healing from the meaningless surgeries well. Emmy says she pretended to pass out after hearing my screaming stop. The sheriff, receiving instructions from Wellers had then tried to move her to a different room. She managed to slip away from him, while blind and run to where she’d heard my screams. She found me, and a syringe. In a moment of madness she stabbed the syringe into my shoulder and empty its contents into me, hoping to kill me and end my suffering. Turns out the syringe had a potent mix of drugs, including pure adrenaline. The restraints that held me tore like paper. According to Emmy, all she heard from then on was me humming a tuneless song and Wellers and E. Gore screaming. She made her way out of the room and started trying to find the exit to the hospital. When she finally made it out and Sam called the state police they found me in the operating room, standing above the broken bodies of the malicious pair, humming and swaying back and forth. Yep, they tazed the shit out of me. When they noticed my injuries they rushed me to an actual hospital where I was remained for a week as my body worked through the drugs, the surgery recovery and the concussion I got after the cops tazed me and I fell into a medicine cabinet. Didn’t feel a thing. (Thank you drugs.) All of this happened five years ago. I wrote this story under the direction of my therapist. She thinks I need to let go. But I can’t. I found a record of Dr. Wellers license revocation. Only problem, it’s from the 1850s. I tried to learn anything I could about either Dr. Wellers or Sheriff E. Gore, but they were ghostlike. I can’t get over the questions I have. Questions like, why? And how? The police think they were selling organs on the black market, but I know what I saw. Wellers was wearing Emmy’s eyes. That’s why she’s blind. The cops don’t believe me, and in my drug stupor I destroyed any evidence there might have been. There wasn’t much left of either of my tormentors. I’m gonna stop writing now. These memories are painful. They are the reason I have a blind wife, a guilty conscience and a deeply scarred chest that’s painful to see in the mirror. They are the reason my hand bones are crooked, broken against a thick skull. I have many unanswered questions, and now I’m building a life on unsteady ground. But that’s enough now. I’m late for my meeting. I’ve got a client who wants me to restore a 78’ impala and then I have to pick Emmy up from her art studio. I hope my story helps someone out there. But for me, it just hurts.
Credits: The idea for the monster that is Wellers came from an episode of supernatural where they fight an organ stealing ancient doctor. This is also kind of an adaptation of the story of Frankensteins monster, with Dave playing the part of the monster at the end. I also leaned heavily on other creepy storys told on creepcast and I hope I didn’t step on any toes doing so. This is my first time writing something like this and I enjoyed it a lot, even if you guys don’t. Thank you for reading!

Chapter 1 People are so…. Social. I grew up in a small town in Arizona and I’ve always loved the peace and quiet. But as I aged, graduating high school and spending a restless summer trying to divine what a broke carpenters son could do with his life (and probably drinking and smoking too much.) the small town gossip really started to wear on me. I’ve never been a social butterfly, preferring to mind my own business and let others mind theirs. But in a small town that’s a luxury you can’t afford. Everyone there has watched you mature from a scrawny kid with a stutter to a quiet but confident young man and, as such, feel that they have some obligation to be sure that your life is going to go in the right direction. There’s only so many questions a 19 year old can take about a lack of college and girlfriends. Only so many conversations following the familiar lines of “well you know, college is there to prove to employers you can show up at the same time and place for 4 years.” Or “don’t rush it, I found my wife when I finally gave up on looking!” Or, most aggravating “God works in mysterious ways!” (No shit Barbara, he’s an unknowable, omnipotent entity and you sell Sephora.(Don’t you have a bland youth group sermon to give?) I guess this is my way of explaining why I left my hometown so hastily the beautiful autumn after graduation. My folks were pleased to see I was going to “find myself.” As my mother so romantically put it. They hoped I’d find some kind of inspiration out on life’s grand highway. My dad chuckled, his eyes full of memories from the days he was young and free, a youthful joy that even 25 years in construction couldn’t dampen. “Go sow your wild oats son! Just remember you’ll reap them in the end.” He said, a mischievousness that was rare for him lightening the words. That is how I came to be here, in Golden Meadow, Louisiana. “Arizona plates? Well ain’t you a long way from home?” The deep southern drawl, by now familiar to me after a week of driving through Louisiana, cut through a perfectly quiet morning. Great. A socialite. Why did I have to choose the south for this roadtrip? I forced a polite smile and turned to face dreaded small talk as I began pumping my gas. “That’s right!” As I spoke I sized up my new best friend. A short, profusely sweating man stood before me. He must have been about 5’ 5”, well below my respectable height of 6’. His hair, greasy but trimmed nicely, his sheriffs hat…. Fuck. This is a cop. “Sheriff E. Gore, pleased to meet you!” He drawled again, his accent, I noted, more Texas than Cajun. He extended a sweaty hand, which I took as a good sign. (The law usually isn’t so friendly to suspicious people.) I shook his hand, surprised by the strength that this somewhat rotund sheriff had, his grip strong but measured. I returned his introduction. “David Lawrence.” “What brings you down to our little town son?” I took a deliberate look around before I answered, my gaze sweeping over the small gas station, the almost empty street, the abandoned buildings, a liquor store and a dilapidated dollar general. “Just passing through.” It probably wouldn’t take long, I thought to myself. I could see most of town from where I was. My gaze returned to Sheriff Gore, and I realized he was staring at me hard, gauging me for something. “I’m on a bit of a roadtrip.” I added, trying to remove his focus from my arms. “Well built aren’t ya?” The Sheriff said. Jesus, what a way to start a conversation with a stranger. I forced through the awkwardness. “Yessir.” Forced grin, wishing my gas would pump faster. “I try to stay active.” The Sheriff’s attentive gaze and fixed smile never strayed from me. “How nice! You know, you should stick around town awhile, we’ve got lots to offer!” I decided to myself that I didn’t like the Sheriff, my earlier thought that he likely wasn’t suspicious since he was so friendly now giving way to the feeling that he was too friendly. I gritted my teeth. “I really would, but I’m trying to make it to New Orleans.” I said, maintaining my politely measured tone. I had no interest in staying in this town. “That’s such a shame.” The Sheriff said, his voice betraying disappointment. “It’s a lovely town, it really is.” I was saved from my own awkward response to his too-friendly, begging statement by his radio crackling loudly from his cruiser, parked outside the gas station convenience store. The words, unintelligible to me, evidently made sense to Gore, as he swung around and strolled back to his cruiser. He was oddly quick for a guy of his stature. “Well, good luck on the road Lawrence.” He shouted over his shoulder as he left. “Be careful on the roads and come visit us again real soon!” I shook off the bile-like aftertaste of Gore’s stare and went back to doing what I do best. Minding my own damn business. I wouldn’t be in town long. What I’d told the Sheriff was true. I was headed to New Orleans. My red ‘69 mustang and I were scheduled to enjoy a beautiful city, far from the normal tourist season, here in early October. The food, the music, the bars, all promised to be excellent and uncrowded, allowing a drifting 19 year old a place to breathe and make decisions. Maybe I’d find some work and stay awhile. Or I’d stay a week and then continue “Dave’s Grand Tour” as I’d taken to calling my trip. The idea of Dave’s Grand Tour was simple; find a place that speaks to me. I had no interest in college, as I’d found during high school that an enterprising young man could make a good bit of money just by taking opportunities when they come. I’d worked at a county fair, for the railroad and for local farmers and ranchers and I had found that there were lots of ways to make money. And I didn’t want to tie myself to a career. After all, my dad had built a pretty great life doing carpentry, something that didn’t take much time to learn. (Of course I’d already learned, from helping him.) I contemplated these things as I pulled out of the filling station and back onto the road. Not much farther to New Orleans. As I drove through town, past a small town mechanic, a diner and a tidy row of houses, I almost felt bad for leaving. This town was clearly dying. Empty buildings, boarded windows and beat up cars told the story of a town in decline. The coastal fishing village was picturesque though, and its people were friendly and polite. With the exception of Sheriff E. Gore. What the hell was that guys prob.. I was tore from my thoughts as the unmistakable sound of a popped tire hissed above the growl of my car. “Shit.” I muttered, pulling over to assess the damage. The damage, as it turned out, was extensive and likely expensive. The ‘stang was equipped with beautiful whitewall tires, painstakingly sourced by my grandfather during the restoration I had helped him with during his final years. Cancer is a bitch, especially when you’re 72. He had handled it well though, and had the car (as well as some of his savings) to me when he passed. Grandma had gone ahead of him some years before. I reiterate, cancer is a bitch. And now my beautiful car was down two tires, both passenger side whitewalls punctured by a myriad of screws and nails. I stared in disbelief. Wandering back down the road I found their source, an overturned coffee tin which was clearly some tradesman’s “spare shit” bin. Shaking my head and muttering expletives I strolled back to my car. Of course I had a spare in the trunk, and all the tools to change a tire, but who carts a second spare tire around? Still muttering words I could never let my mother hear, I searched on my phone for the number to the mechanic I had passed, finding an oddly polished website. JP’s machine and tire shop had someone tech savvy on the payroll. And they were punctual. Less than 15 minutes later I was standing on the concrete shop floor, watching JP himself remove my tires. “Lord, you’ve had some bad luck!” He boomed. I’d decided I liked JP. He was a big man, with a tanned face and forearms, betraying many days spent on the sun-soaked waters of the bay. “How in gods name did you manage to get this many holes in such nice tires?” I laughed. “I’m Gods strongest soldier I guess.” JP roared out a laugh. Laughter came easy to him it seemed. “There’s good news and bad news.” He said, awhile later. I’d quietly sat in a comfy chair in the shops waiting area, reading, while he focused on his work. “What’s the bad news?” I asked. “You’ve got to wait two days for new tires.” JP replied. I’d figured as much. What kind of small town auto shop would have whitewalls for a 1969 mustang just lying around. “Good news is, I got you a helluva deal on them. Buddy of mine runs a classics restoration shop in Orleans. He’ll send a truck to deliver your tires, but he’s short handed, thus the wait.” This was excellent (and intriguing) news. I’d expected the wait to be much longer, and the cost to be higher. As JP broke down my bill, explaining the pricing, I couldn’t help but feel pretty lucky, all things considered. I paid JP (thank you Grandpa) and wandered out into the Golden Meadow sunshine, my backpack slung over my shoulder.
Chapter 2 It was a damn fine evening on the bayou. I was paddling along between small islands overgrown with thick river reeds, in a kayak I’d rented from a local fishing guide named Sam. I’d spent the afternoon fishing from the kayak, with a breakdown rod I kept in my backpack. Now, as the sun was sinking low, turning the water orange and pink in the dying light, I paddled gently back to town. As I made it to the dock where Sam had told me to leave the kayak (very trusting fellow, Sam was) I heard faint music. It grew louder as I came closer to the dock. A myriad of fishing vessels, speedboats and jet skis obscured it as I drew close. But as I tied the kayak in place at Sam’s dock, I made out the lyrics. I recognized the song. Brown Haired Blue Eyed Baby, by JD Clayton. Excellent song. That was when I saw her. Standing on a tall fishing boat at the next dock over. She. Was. Breathtaking. With dark brown hair and a deep tan, she looked to be about my age. She was coiling a rope, faced away from me, singing along to the music. I suddenly realized I was staring, not saying anything, and she had no idea I was there. Realizing that this could be a bad look for me, I cast my eyes downward and dropped my backpack onto the dock, letting it fall heavily. I glanced up as she swung around, pretending I hadn’t seen her until now. “Oh, hey!” I said, a bit too loudly. After a pause she returned the greeting somewhat cautiously. “Hey.” Words failed me. She had turned to face me now and I saw her eyes for the first time. They were a vivid blue, that reflected the light from the water, even as the sun sank. I had a sudden burst of confidence, thinking to myself that worst case scenario, e.g. rejection, I could always just leave in two days and never see her again. “Hey, listen, this might be a little too bold, but you are incredibly pretty.” I said, the words rushing from my mouth. She seemed shocked, and for a second I thought she was disgusted. Then her cheeks flushed and I realized she was blushing. I pushed on. “Sorry, sorry, that was probably a little too much, I’m so..” she cut me off with a laugh. Damn, even her laugh was cute. “It’s okay!” She exclaimed, breathlessly. “you just surprised me, that’s all.” I smiled broadly. She returned the smile. “I’m Dave.” I said, somewhat sheepishly. Extending a hand upwards to her perch on the boat. Still smiling she took it and said “I’m Emmy Lou.” Emmy Lou and I ended up talking for almost an hour as the sun disappeared and the moon shone brightly upon us. She told me about her life, growing up a local in this small town, working on one of Sam’s guide boats. I told her about Arizona, the summer I spent restoring my mustang (I mostly just wanted her to know I had a cool car), and all about Dave’s Grand Tour. She was sweet, a good listener, but she seemed tough, a girl who knew how to handle herself, even at 18. She was still living with her parents, saving up to move out. “Where will you go?” I asked her. “When you move out I mean.” She shrugged. “I don’t know. Haven’t really thought that far ahead. Maybe to Texas? I’ve always wanted to be a cowgirl.” I grinned. “You’d certainly make a good one.” I replied. “And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” She exclaimed in a joking manner. Her and I had fallen into a rhythm of teasing and joking very easily. I laughed as I replied in protest, “No, no, I didn’t mean it like that! You just seem to be naturally good at most things you try.” She blushed again. It was almost a familiar sight to me now. She broke eye contact. She generally had to be the first one to do so, since I seemed to be frozen every time I looked in her eyes. “Listen.” She said, standing up. “This has been a lot of fun, but I’ve gotta get home. My folks will be worried.” I stood as well. “Oh, alright.” I couldn’t hide my disappointment. “Hey, I’ll be around town tomorrow, since my tires won’t be in. Maybe I could see you around?” She looked down at her toes and said quietly “I’d like that.” We wished each other good night and went our separate ways, her to her parents place and me to a quiet motel room near the mechanic, a 20 minute walk away. I was almost to the motel when the light flashed across me. It was a flashlight beam, coming from the sidewalk in front of me. I froze. “Well hey there son!” Came a long southern drawl. “Decided to stay in town after all?” For some reason, the Sheriffs voice made my skin crawl. What made it worse was him shining the light in my face. It made it impossible to see him. I squinted hard. “Hey Sheriff. Yeah I’m in town for a couple days more.” Before I could continue (ask him to stop blinding me) he jumped in. “Now what’s held you up young fella. Car trouble?” He said. I paused. There was something about the way he asked the question that I didn’t like. Like he already knew the answer. “Yeah, how did you..” “Oh damn me!” He interrupted, not acknowledging my question at all. “I forgot!” He finally stopped shining the light in my eyes. (Hallelujah.) As my eyes readjusted to the dimly lit sidewalk, the flashlight now pointing down, the sheriff said “This here’s Mr. Wellers.” A deep new voice, clearly articulated “Hello Mr. Lawrence, the Sheriffs told me a lot about you.” I raised my eyes to meet this newcomers and was startled. In stark contrast to the Sheriff, Mr. Wellers was tall, well built and spoke with no accent. He had brown eyes, perfectly trimmed and combed blonde hair and was wearing… a lab coat? I blinked, my brain trying to process. All I could think to say was “Mister? Not….. doctor?” I thought it might be an offensive question at first, as the Sheriff looked at me reproachably and Mr. Wellers cast his eyes downward as if embarrassed. “I uhhhhh… used to be. My license was revoked.” Wow. There’s a rabbit hole I don’t need to go down within seconds of meeting this man. “Oh I’m so sorry” I said lamely. “That sucks.” “You’re damn right it does.” Growled out Gore. He seemed more offended over my apparent faux pa than his friend. “He was my personal doctor for many years. He’s a damned fine doctor too!” “E.” Mr. Wellers said quietly. “It’s alright.” This interaction had passed into the realm of the surreal. I had no idea why these two were out alone together after dark, and frankly I didn’t want to know. (Once again, minding my own business.) “Right… well it was good to see you, and nice meet you Dr. I mean… Mr. Wellers.” I cringed at my own words. God, just let me out of this conversation. “And a pleasure meeting you as well young man!” Said Mr. Wellers. I felt bad. He seemed like such a normal, reasonable guy when compared to Gore. “By the way.” His deep voice rang out again as I moved down the street. “What’s your blood type?” My brain malfunctioned. “My… uhm… what?” I struggled for words. “Blood type!” He exclaimed. Seeing the confusion in my eyes he elaborated. “We’re having a blood drive tomorrow.” (Oh hallelujah lord, thank god this guy doesn’t want to steal my blood.) “we could really use all we can get, you know. Being in a remote place like Golden Meadows it’s important we have a little extra on hand.” His tone put me at rest once more. “I’m O negative.” I said. “Universal donor. If I’ve got time tomorrow I’ll stop by.” I said it mostly to placate him and get out of the conversation faster. But his tone as he thanked me profusely, as well as the obvious gratitude in his doe brown eyes made me actually want to go help. I resolved myself to actually stop by and donate tomorrow. Might as well right? Not like I’ve got anything else to do. I finally made it to my hotel room and by the time I was cleaned up and in bed I had almost forgotten about the awkward demeanor of the pair. Although the Sheriff still made me hellishly uncomfortable. He had a way of staring at you like you were a snack he was about to eat. I shuddered, decided not to think about that anymore and rolled over, thinking of Emmy Lou and the possibilities of tomorrow.
Chapter 3 I was having some difficulty finding Emmy. I’d been down to the dock, had breakfast at the cafe, wandered the town and even hung out in the bait and tackle shop Sam run in conjunction with his guide business. No sign of her. I was checking out an enormous tarpon mounted above some fly rods when Sam’s voice floated over to me. “She’s out on the boat.” I heard the mirth in his voice and turned to face him. He was behind the counter, tying a huge streamer, round glasses perched precariously on the end of his long nose. He was an older man, maybe 50, with a bald head, strong hands and several old school tattoos, harkening back to his days in the navy. He looked over his glasses at me, his heavy eyebrows raised and a cheeky smile on his face. “She didn’t stop talking about you until they left.” He said. “Oh.” I blushed heavily. Looking back it must have been pretty obvious that I wasn’t there for hooks or spinning lures. “When will she be back?” I said, deciding not to hide my true motives. “Sunset.” He said. “Maybe sooner if they catch a big bait of red drum.” I nodded. “Thank you.” I said, and I meant it. I had been going crazy, cursing myself for not getting her number at least. But now my hope was restored. She’d be back. And then I could see her again. I headed towards the door. “Hey kid.” Sam called. I turned back to him. He had his glasses in his hand now, and he was looking at me with his full attention. “Yes sir?” “Don’t hurt her. She’s an angel and we’re all pretty protective of her.” I nodded. Sam was surely referring to his crew of fishermen and guides, a tough group of seamen, some of whom I’d met yesterday while they were gearing up for the afternoon. I definitely didn’t want to get on their bad side. Now it was Sam’s turn to nod. “Good.” Was all he said as he turned back to his work. I wandered back down the boardwalk into town, wondering how I would kill the long hours until sunset, when I saw the Sheriffs squad car. It was parked outside the small town hospital, and suddenly I remembered our awkward conversation last night. The blood drive! There’s a good way to kill an afternoon in the quietest town on the planet. I strolled across to the hospital, and walked through the sliding doors (the only set in town.) “Mr. Lawrence!” Mr. Wellers greeted me enthusiastically. “Glad to see you my boy!” People in this town sure get familiar fast. “Hey Mr. Wellers, where do I go for the blood drive?” The once-doctor directed me to his exam room. “I’ll just need to give you a checkup, make sure you’re in good shape to donate.” It seemed odd that he had an exam room, since he had no medical license. Come to think of it, I’ve never heard of getting a checkup before blood donation, but I shrugged it off as another oddity of Golden Meadows. Weird Sheriff, too-friendly strangers and the most beautiful girl (I believed.) in the south. This town was a trip. Mr. Wellers was talkative as he took my blood pressure, temperature, stared down my throat and peered into my eyes and ears, writing notes on his clipboard as he spoke. “You’re in damn fine health young man.” I knew I was. Years of physical activity and decent genetics (thanks dad.) kept me strong and healthy. I rarely got sick, played football through high school and never seemed bothered by sweltering Arizona heat, something that had benefited me greatly in the humid southern states. Mr. Wellers asked questions about all of these things. He seemed genuinely interested and I got the feeling he was asking more for his own curiosity than any official reason. “Well son,” he was saying now. “You’re the picture of health.” “Thanks.” I replied. “So where do I go to donate.” “Actually,” he said, a bit too quickly. “We’ve had a lot of donations today, far more than expected.” “Oh, so you don’t want me to donate?” I was confused. He’d made it seem like they seriously needed more donations. I brushed it off. Over-selling a problem did make sense. Sometimes it was the only way to get things done in a small town. “No no, we’d still love for you to donate!” He said, once again speaking quickly. “Just give me some time to make my preparations! He smiled, kindly. “Alright… “ I said, at a loss. This seemed so weird, I was beginning to get a bad feeling. Were Mr. Wellers motivations entirely… pure? He seemed to be trying to achieve something with his interactions with me, although I wasn’t sure what. “Well, I guess I’ll stop by later then.” I said, my voice laden with confusion. Mr. Wellers pretended not to notice, uttering vague complacencies as he sent me on my way. I stepped back out of the hospital, vaguely wondering why I hadn’t seen a single living soul inside besides Mr. Wellers. The reception desk had been empty since I came in, the intercom was quiet and I saw no nurses, doctors or patients. I’m starting to really hate the emptiness of this town. I wonder if my tires had come in…
Chapter 4 After a snack from the convenience store and a stop by JP’s to see my car I was wandering town again, aimlessly. The sheriff had driven past twice, smiling at me through his squad car window unblinkingly. I wondered what had happened to him in his life for his social behavior to be so odd. Maybe he had a bad childhood or was raised by an alligator or something. That would explain the toothy smiles and the never-blinking at least. It was about 2 o’clock. JP had assured me my tires would be in tomorrow, which suited me okay. I was almost hesitant to leave, since Emmy Lou was still in town and good lord knows I had an interest in her. Goodness she was fine. I was walking down the street, not really paying attention to anything going on, listening to in thoughts of Emmy. Her hair, her eyes, her walk, she walked… right behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. “Hey Dave!” I spun around, my mind returning guiltily from the gutter. “Emmy! Sam said you wouldn’t be off the boat until sundown!” “We limited out. What can I say, I’m just that good.” she spread her arms in a kind of proud shrug, a sarcastic-cocky smile on her face. I smiled too. She had that effect on me. “Hey, I realized I never got your number!” She looked surprised. “You want it?” Now I was surprised. “I… yeah, I really do. I mean, I think you’re great and I don’t want to lose contact when I…” the air around us suddenly felt heavier. I was suddenly nervous. Had I misjudged her interest? Did she see me as some passerby, a very temporary friend? A smile cautiously returned to her face. “You can have my number.” She said. “But if you move back to Arizona forever I’m not going to text you back.” Thank god. I thought I’d totally dropped the bag. “Deal.” I said, smiling once more. Emmy and I spent the afternoon talking as we saw the meager sights in town. We had an ice cream at the cafe, (rocky road for me, strawberry for her.) stopped by the mechanic (I really wanted to show off the car.) and then wandered out to the towns hiking path. Half a mile down the coast, down a dirt road, it was a great spot to be alone. I was promising Emmy a proper date once my car was running and she was laughing at me. “Sonic is not a real date.” She said through giggles. “Sonic is the perfect date. It’s like going to a restaurant but you don’t have to see any people.” I replied, playing up my anti-socialism to seem quirky, and praying it was working. As we reached the trailhead I heard the now familiar sound of the Sheriffs car on the road behind us. He wasn’t smiling this time. He watched us as we silently walked onto the trail. “Jesus, this dude is everywhere.” I muttered, as the trees began to obscure him from view. Emmys brow furrowed. (God she looked cute when she did that.) “What do you mean? He just sits at the cafe usually.” She said. “Wait, what?” Now my brow furrowed. “I’ve seen him all over town today. It’s like he’s following me.” “Maybe he thinks you’re trouble.” She teased. I shook my head. “Maybe. He’s been weirdly polite to me ever since we met.” Emmy shrugged. “Southern charm I guess. He’s a weird guy.” “Yeah he is. It feels like he’s” I made my voice as provocative as I could. “Checking me out.” I mocked a sexy stance. Emmy thought I was hilarious. She laughed and slapped my chest gently, her hand resting against me. Suddenly the air was heavy again. Her cheeks turned red but her hand stayed on my chest. My hands rested comfortably on her hips. This is as close as we’d been. Our eyes locked, her bright blue meeting my gentle brown. We stood there for a long time.
Chapter 5 The best part of road-tripping? Besides actually tripping, as I’d done in White Sands, New Mexico and a secluded beach in Texas. Sleeping in. My hotel room was perfect. I’d spent a lot of nights on Dave’s Grand Tour camping under the stars and it was amazing. But it wasn’t better than sleeping until noon on a thick mattress with the A/C blasting. I couldn’t have asked for a better night’s rest to end my trip in Golden Meadows. As I walked down to JP’s shop I reflected on the small towns impact on me. I was happy. JP was sitting in a rocking chair with his shop doors wide open. My car was next to him, four whitewall tires underneath. “Wondered when you’d be by.” Boomed JP. “Truck came this morning, she’s all ready for you.” His broad grin rippled across his face as he watched me inspect his work approvingly. “Thanks JP, this is amazing.” He nodded graciously as I tossed my backpack in the trunk. “Hey JP?” He noted my tone become more business-like and focused his eyes on me seriously. “Yessir?” He asked, his curiosity apparent. “That friend, the one with the restoration shop. Is he hiring?” JP’s eyebrows shot skyward. “Well son, I believe he is. You looking for work?” I nodded. “I’m thinking about settling down somewhere in the area, staying for a while.” JP grinned broadly again, his eyes betraying a secret. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with little miss Emmy Lou would it?” I blushed heavily. JP had watched Emmy and I as I showed her my car, explaining all the places I’d repaired and restored. He’d been grinning then too. “Well” JP’s voice returned to business and his eyebrows returned to their resting place. “Based on what I’ve seen of your work.” He gestured to the mustang. “I’d be willing to put in a good word with him.” “Thanks JP. I really do appreciate it.” And I did. The point of Dave’s Grand Tour was to find a place I could call home. And it was beginning to seem that I’d found it. I was on the road now, headed to New Orleans. JP had set up an interview for me with his friend and I was hopeful that it would work out. I’d been on the road about an hour, listening to music and texting Emmy, (don’t text and drive kids.) when I got the call. A blocked number. I didn’t answer the first three. But I finally decided it wasn’t scammers or something when the fourth call came, seconds after I’d sent the third to voicemail. “Hello?” I said. “Hello there Lawrence.” Came the Sheriffs voice, low and dripping with anger. “I have someone here who wants to talk to you.” “What the… what’s this all” I was cut off by Emmy’s voice. “Dave? Dave?!” There was panic in her tone and she sounded like she’d been crying. The brakes on the mustang squealed as my muscles responded on their own. I had turned around and was flying back to Golden Meadows as fast as the thought crossed my mind. “What is this?” I yelled. “Emmy what’s happening?!” Gores voice came crackling through the phone. “Meet me at Mr. Wellers office. Sundown.” And the line clicked off before I could answer. What was happening? “Oh god, oh god.” I said shakily as I pushed the mustang to new speeds. What was happening? What did the Sheriff want? Why did he have Emmy Lou?!
Chapter 6 GRAPHIC CONTENT. GRAPHIC CONTENT. DO NOT READ IF SQUEAMISH. I WARNED YOU. That was the longest drive of my life. I’d driven from Arizona to Louisiana, crossed Texas end to end in that car, but this drive was the worst. I was panicking. My tires slid easily as I gunned the engine, turning into the hospital parking lot. I stopped right in front of the doors and left the engine running as I sprinted headlong through them, barely giving them time to open. “GORE!” I yelled as I stepped into the lobby. “GORE WHAT DO YOU WANT?!” The lights were off, the air desperately still as I spun, looking every direction. Gore showed himself. He looked smug, his service pistol pressed against Emmys temple, her arm locked in his vice-like left hand. “There you are boy.” His thick accent dripped venom. “I didn’t find the perfect specimen just to let it slip away.” My mind reeled. Specimen? What was happening? And why did he have Emmy? What WAS this? Before I could collect my thoughts he spoke again, Emmy shaking in his grip, wordless, staring at me helplessly. “There’s a rag on the counter. Put it over your mouth and breathe in.” “What?” Why are you doing this?!” I said, the air in my lungs seemingly not enough to yell. “DO IT.” The Sheriff screamed, his face turning red. “DO IT OR I WILL SHOOT HER, SHOOT YOU AND HAUL YOUR LIFELESS BODY TO THE O.R.” His voice shook with rage, every syllable seeming to enrage him further. “Okay! Okay, I’ll do it.” I walked to the counter, my hands up, palms forward. I took the rag, placed it over my mouth and nose and breathed deeply. “Wake up Lawrence!” Came a singsong voice, breaking through my sleeping mind. “Waaaake upppp.” My eyelids were heavy. So heavy. I forced them up. Blue eyes stared down at me. Was that… Mr. Wellers? I tried to sit up, tried to speak, tried to move. I couldn’t. Mr. Wellers looked overjoyed. “Ahh the serum worked! Total paralysis, with a fully functioning mind!” His eyes. What was wrong with his eyes? Were they always… “I bet you’re wondering what’s happening to you.” Mr. Wellers said, his tone jovial. “You see Dave, I didn’t lie, we do desperately need donations. Just not blood.” He was holding… my eyes struggled to focus on the shining silver tool. A scalpel? “No no, we need far more precious donations.” A searing pain shot across my chest. Was he cutting into me?! He was staring at my chest as his hands worked, out of my view. The pain was unbearable. I couldn’t move, couldn’t scream, couldn’t even tense my body against the pain. Instead, my mind screamed, the searing feeling of a cold blade tracing below my ribs blocking all thought. “You know, I started the practice of organ transplants.” I heard Wellers speak as if underwater. “That was long before even your parents were born.” The cutting subsided, leaving a sharp ache that made me pray I’d black out. “I’ve been replacing parts as they get wore out ever since. A kidney here, a hand there. Much like you do with that car of yours.” His eyes met mine. Why were they… “of course, I need constant donations for this lifestyle.” He was speaking so calmly. “And you’ve got some shiny parts in here.” My stomach. What was he doing? “Like this lovely one here!” I felt a tugging sensation in my gut and Wellers voice faded away. Those eyes. My last thought made me wish I was dead. Those eyes. They weren’t his. They were Emmy’s. I don’t know how long it was before I awoke. But when I did I could move. I was in a stupor. All I saw were blurs. My body seemed to move on its own accord. I heard crying. I smelt something. Sweat. My mind was not working, but on some deep level my consciousness took hold. Sweaty pig. The thought slid across my delirious mind as my arms made contact with something solid but pliable. My lower consciousness took hold and I felt it give way beneath my strength. My hands felt wet. How odd. A voice. What a calming voice that is. Too bad. Such a shame. The thoughts slid across my mind, meaning nothing as my arms went about their task, levering some thing against something else. There was quite a bit of resistance. I felt it give way and a scream rippled across my absent mind. Hope I’m not breaking anything important. Another strange thought. Not mine. Whose? Why were my hands so wet? My chest too. What’s going…. I woke up for the second time. This time I could move and think both. Emmy Lou was beside my bed. I was in a hospital room. She was sleeping, a mask covering her eyes from the midday sun streaming through a window. I… remembered. “Emmy!” I yelled, tears coming to my eyes. I tried to stand but was held down by searing pain. Emmy rushed to my side, the mask still on her face. Wait. Not a mask. A bandage. “What happened?” I said, tears rolling down my face as I remembered everything that had happened. “Emmy? What happened?” She didn’t say anything. She was crying too, but no tears would come.
Epilogue That’s the story. What I can remember of it anyways. The cops told me the rest later. Mr. Wellers and Sheriff Gore had kidnapped Emmy and I. We were held in the hospital for days as everyone in town searched the river for our bodies. My mustang had been found submerged off the dock, and everyone thought Emmy and I were together in it. Her parents had cursed my name to a wordless ocean, screaming at the man who took their daughter, all while going to church with the Sheriff there to console them. The cops found us when Emmy Lou stumbled out into the street, screaming and blind. It had taken her hours to find her way out of the hospital. It’s hard to navigate when you can’t see. I had to hear the rest of the story from her. After our kidnapping they had operated on her. Removing her eyes, a third of her blood and one of her kidneys. Then they went to work on me. I’m still not entirely sure what they took from me. Everything seems to still be intact, my body healing from the meaningless surgeries well. Emmy says she pretended to pass out after hearing my screaming stop. The sheriff, receiving instructions from Wellers had then tried to move her to a different room. She managed to slip away from him, while blind and run to where she’d heard my screams. She found me, and a syringe. In a moment of madness she stabbed the syringe into my shoulder and empty its contents into me, hoping to kill me and end my suffering. Turns out the syringe had a potent mix of drugs, including pure adrenaline. The restraints that held me tore like paper. According to Emmy, all she heard from then on was me humming a tuneless song and Wellers and E. Gore screaming. She made her way out of the room and started trying to find the exit to the hospital. When she finally made it out and Sam called the state police they found me in the operating room, standing above the broken bodies of the malicious pair, humming and swaying back and forth. Yep, they tazed the shit out of me. When they noticed my injuries they rushed me to an actual hospital where I was remained for a week as my body worked through the drugs, the surgery recovery and the concussion I got after the cops tazed me and I fell into a medicine cabinet. Didn’t feel a thing. (Thank you drugs.) All of this happened five years ago. I wrote this story under the direction of my therapist. She thinks I need to let go. But I can’t. I found a record of Dr. Wellers license revocation. Only problem, it’s from the 1850s. I tried to learn anything I could about either Dr. Wellers or Sheriff E. Gore, but they were ghostlike. I can’t get over the questions I have. Questions like, why? And how? The police think they were selling organs on the black market, but I know what I saw. Wellers was wearing Emmy’s eyes. That’s why she’s blind. The cops don’t believe me, and in my drug stupor I destroyed any evidence there might have been. There wasn’t much left of either of my tormentors. I’m gonna stop writing now. These memories are painful. They are the reason I have a blind wife, a guilty conscience and a deeply scarred chest that’s painful to see in the mirror. They are the reason my hand bones are crooked, broken against a thick skull. I have many unanswered questions, and now I’m building a life on unsteady ground. But that’s enough now. I’m late for my meeting. I’ve got a client who wants me to restore a 78’ impala and then I have to pick Emmy up from her art studio. I hope my story helps someone out there. But for me, it just hurts.
Credits: The idea for the monster that is Wellers came from an episode of supernatural where they fight an organ stealing ancient doctor. This is also kind of an adaptation of the story of Frankensteins monster, with Dave playing the part of the monster at the end. I also leaned heavily on other creepy storys told on creepcast and I hope I didn’t step on any toes doing so. This is my first time writing something like this and I enjoyed it a lot, even if you guys don’t. Thank you for reading!

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Substantial-Fox-4386. She posted in AITAH.
This is a long post. Thanks to both u/Direct-Caterpillar77 and u/BakingGiraffeBakes for the recommendation!

A reminder this sub has a 7 day waiting period, ergo the latest update is 7 days old.

Trigger Warnings: sexual harassment; prescription medication addiction; accusations of infidelity
Mood Spoiler: the pot is stirred- dramatic
Mood Spoiler 2: I labeled this as "lol wtf" in my spreadsheet
Original Post: April 29, 2024
For context, I (31F) have been with my husband Jay (34M) for 10 years. We met through mutual friends, began dating shortly after, and became engaged after being together for about 2 years. We aren't legally married yet, as we both agreed we wanted an all-out wedding and to travel for our honeymoon, but that ish is expensive, and we wanted to prioritize spending our money on things like our house, our vehicles, medical, and so on. We bought each other matching rings that we wear as if we are married, refer to each other as husband and wife, and present as married socially, we just haven't actually had a wedding. Our families understand this, and since we are both children of divorce, our parents were fine with us not wanting to get married, since their opinion of marriage was somewhat skewed to put it politely. Most of our friends also don't comment on our lack of being officially married, as they either don't care, agree with our logic that there are more important things to spend money on, or are the sort of people who think the point of a legal marriage isn't as necessary as it has been in the past.
Then there's Tricia (28F). I met Tricia through an old job and we got along really well. We enjoyed the same music, food, and had similar opinions on things like movies, books, and clothes. Tricia is a lovely person, and I do genuinely enjoy her friendship, but she occasionally goes through these odd phases where she analyzes the behavior of the men in our social circle. She will present her "theories" to us ladies based on things like social media posts, "odd behaviors" she says she noticed during group barbecues or beach trips, things like that. While I have no problem calling out potential shitty behavior in a friend, the things she deems "suspicious" don't really hold water in my opinion. For example, she's never quite let go of considering a male friend gay, and her "evidence" is that he's a bit of a perpetual bachelor. According to him, his bachelor status is because he's holding out for a girl who doesn't mind his transient lifestyle as a man who has to travel a lot for work and would want to join him rather than wait around at home, but according to Tricia, he must be having gay dalliances across the country and refuses to tell us, even though many in our friend group are gay, out of the closet, and even bring their partners to social events.
Then there's my sweet Jay. Jay has never been a very physically affectionate person, and he is likely autistic, but isn't interested in having a formal diagnosis. He took the RAADS-R (a test to screen for autism in undiagnosed adults) about 4 years ago when he was seeking treatment for chronic migraines, and the results suggested strongly that he may be autistic. Once he got those results back, he sort of got over the idea of "wanting answers" for some of his mental health questions, preferring to just go to therapy and work on finding a good treatment for his migraines. According to him, the RAADS-R was "good enough to solve the mystery" and provided some closure for him. I didn't press the issue, as the idea of getting on his case about a diagnosis he didn't feel he needed seemed unnecessarily harsh to me.
On top of that, Jay loves fishing. When you put these two facts together, hopefully a picture gets painted for you, but I'll clarify anyway. He knows all about the different types of aquatic environments in our area that you can legally fish, when all the different spawning seasons are, what every species eats, how they hunt, and he can even tell what sort of fish is on his hook based on how it feels when he's pulling them in. He can look at a body of water and instantly tell you if fishing will be good that day, and he has never been wrong; it's like living with a fish-based psychic! Since I am an avid lover of seafood, his fishing and pursuit of fish-centric knowledge has only been a boon to me. I can express interest in wanting a fish dinner on Monday morning, and that night, he will bring home and cook up enough fish for us to eat like royalty. He's even excited to catch fish to make into fertilizer for my new rose bushes, since he feels confident he will be able to pull up the perfect "food" for my new roses.
The "suspicious" activity, according to Tricia, is that he often goes on spur-of-the-moment fishing trips by himself, and can sometimes be gone for hours. He will randomly stand up, say something like "Alright. Fishin' time." and give me a kiss before he hits the road. While I would ordinarily agree that something like that could be suspicious, I know factually that Jay isn't cheating, as he always sends me countless pictures and videos while he's on these trips, as well as calling me on the phone when he's particularly excited about a good catch, how he's trying to get uniquely sneaky fish, a cool bird he saw, things like that. Even if he's gone for 10 hours, my phone will be blowing up for all 10 of those hours with pictures of his sunshine smile next to a fish, or videos of him cheering as he shows me what he's got on the stringer (a long, thin rope used to keep fish alive, but attached to your boat, in the water). I adore these pictures, videos, and phone calls, since they make my heart so full with how much joy he feels and how at peace he is on the water. I would join him more often, but I usually stay home since it wouldn't be fair to our dogs if both of us left for undefined amounts of time on a whim. Instead, I find my peace in watching through his eyes, and when he comes home, I'm always happy to get the play-by-play of how the trip went while Jay prepares the fish for us to eat. We even have a game now where he quizzes me on what types of fish he caught, and if I win, I get a big hug!
None of this is good enough for Tricia. For years now, she has had her suspicions about Jay, but I've always brushed them off as I'm secure in my relationship and trust Jay implicitly. When Tricia first brought her "theory" to me, I brought it up to Jay, who was genuinely hurt and asked if I shared in her suspicions and wanted him to go fishing less. I told him no, but that I felt he deserved to know what Tricia was telling people about him. He understood and was willing to let sleeping dogs lie. Over the years, as Jay and I kept on keepin' on, unmarried and in fishy bliss, Tricia became more and more adamant that not only was Jay cheating, but that the reason we weren't married is that he convinced me to wait for an expensive wedding and he would rather continue on cheating during fake fishing trips. Her "proof" was his random trips, the fact that he doesn't physically touch me "a lot" when we are in public, and how "he never let's me go with him". Countless times, I have shown her the giant folder of fishing pictures and videos in my phone, call logs showing how often we're in communication, and told her that I didn't need to have him grabbing on me or dangling off of me in public to feel secure with him. I've brought up our responsibilities as dog owners to not leave them alone for hours on a whim without the ability to relieve themselves outside. I've even told her multiple times over the years that she's more than welcome to ask Jay if she could tag along on a trip and see for herself how committed he is to fishing, but she always refuses. Again, since Jay has been fine with ignoring the drama, I let it slide, up until about a week ago.
Jay was talking about going on a day-long fishing trip with two of our friends, Vince and Maria (who are married) as they had expressed interest in going and saw the trip as a sort of blend between a staycation and a chartered boat trip. Tricia spoke privately with me, saying that I must be happy that Maria is going, since she will be able to ensure that not only Jay can't cheat on me, but that Vince can't cover for him if he tries to. I'd finally had enough, as now she was dragging poor Vince into this and slandering his character, when all Vince had done is agree to a day trip with an old friend. I told Tricia that she needs to either bring her suspicions directly to Jay and hash it out with him, or let it go, because as far as I'm concerned, she's projecting her issues onto Jay since Tricia can't keep a guy longer than three months. While that assessment isn't entirely true, I wanted to hurt her feelings and cut her down to size, since that's my sweet Jay she's dragging through the mud. Tricia not only took it personally, but said that I was just naive and was afraid to be single. I told Tricia that she was projecting again, since she's a serial dater who scares men off with her wannabe Sherlock Holmes nonsense, and she just can't fathom a man with a real hobby because she only goes after half-baked fake gymbros more interested in their own tits than hers and wannabe finance bros who blow their entire paychecks on crypto.
She stopped talking to me after that, and hasn't reached out to me since. Granted, I haven't reached out to her either, but I'm mad at her, because she was rude. Our friend group doesn't really give this entire situation much weight, saying stuff like "that's just how she is" or "what did you expect" or "we know Jay isn't cheating, but he's an exception to the rule, and maybe Tricia just doesn't see that". While I was willing to stand my ground at first and not budge on the issue, now I'm wondering if maybe I was too harsh and should apologize for being petty just because I wanted to knock her down a peg and get her to give up on her "theories".
TL;DR My female friend is convinced my husband is cheating on me because he fuckin loooooves fishing and goes on day trips frequently, and after years of hearing her doubts and showing proof that he's faithful, I snapped at her, insulted her taste in men, and spoke negatively about her dating history.
AITAH and should I apologize, or do I keep all 10 toes in the ground and let her twist?
Relevant Comments:
Top Commenter: First of all, Jay sounds wonderful. Congrats on snagging him, I smiled reading when you were talking about him, very wholesome. Tricia sucks man. Tricia isn't helping anyone, she's actively hurting people's marriages, relationships and friendships, I'd bail on her asap, idk what you see in a person who has put THAT much time into belittling your wonderful husband. I was also a little irked by people in your group chat saying Jay is the exception... how? You said Tricia is always doing this and she's wrong as fuck. Why are you friends with Tricia is fabricating rumors about your friends being gay and your husband cheating on you... like to the point that you told Jay "this is what she's saying about you to people"...like you know she didn't just say it to you, but everyone, and you're still letting this bitch hang around? Gross.

OOP: Hearing it framed this way is a shock I think I needed. I wanted to get defensive at first, but you have a really solid point. Someone else here asked if maybe Tricia is interested in Jay, and I'm going to dig into that, but now I want to dig into this as well. Thank you for your input, it's put a lot into perspective.

Commenter: Also just food for thought. Are you sure she's not spreading rumours about you behind your back? Anyone willing to talk to you behind someone elses back, is willing to talk about you behind your back

OOP: I'm sure she is at this point. Reading the comments here have changed how I view the entire friend group. I'll be speaking with some mutual friends about what they've heard; it's receipt time.

Commenter: My ex posts pictures of her out on the ice all weekend fishing. I love watching her videos and pictures of giant fish she caught in the middle of the night. I still love my ex, but there is no way I am spending a weekend in a tent on a frozen lake.
If he catches a mermaid, then you might be in trouble.

OOP: I'm going to be honest; if he caught a mermaid, he'd either try to get on NatGeo or some kind of fishing show to contribute to icthyology/marine biology, or try to tag it somehow to study it lol he's a true believer in the betterment of aquatic environments and getting the world excited about fishing

Commenter: Nta. It’s my opinion she is stirring stuff up not because she’s projecting, but because she is sad and lonely and can’t abide the sight of others’ happiness. She wants a friend in misery and needs other people to validate her loneliness.

OOP: Thank you for your words; I'm starting to think she either wants someone else to commiserate with in a way we don't do now or something else more sinister.

Commenter: She sounds like a troublemaker who likes to stir the pot. Not sure why you are still friends with her - she clearly likes causing drama.

OOP: Thank you for your input. Seeing many people say similar things is waking me up to some uncomfortable truths.

(Downvoted) Commenter: ESH, you should apologies for the below the belt comment. i’m not saying that you are wrong but…. you didn’t need to go that far. you can be in the right and still be an asshole.

OOP: Yeah, I'm willing to admit I went too far, and there's no excuse for that. Thanks for being honest with me.

There is no consensus bot on AITAH, but a majority of votes were for NTA
Update Post 1: April 30, 2024 (Next Day)
I wanted to give a small update now before I bring the axe down tonight. This will be shorter, as Jay and I will be going fishing together this afternoon after lunch.
I showed Jay the original thread and we had a heart to heart that lasted until the wee hours of the morning. Firstly, he wanted me to express his appreciation for you all, as well as shoutout his fellow fishing enthusiasts. He encourages you all to get out there and try your best, regardless of your success, and to instead share with him the joy it brings, even if we can't all go fishing together.
After going through all of your beautiful words and generous support, we shared our thoughts on the matter not only as a couple, but as two people with different levels of attachment to the individuals in our friend group. We both agree that we had been holding onto these friendships more out of a sense of nostalgia and a desire to be kind, rather than actually examining what these friends brought to the table and whether or not they enriched our lives. We had been distracted by a desire for community and old bonds, sacrificing our comfort and respect for not only ourselves, but our choice to be together and have a dynamic that some may not view as normal or valid in some capacities. While Jay and I have different views on what certain friends mean to us, we agree that enough is enough, and it's time to not only establish boundaries, but to not give an inch to those who have caused us to come to this, Tricia especially.
That said, Jay is a good man. A strong, whip-smart, generous man, and reading the feedback you all provided made me realize something: I am fucking angry.
I allowed a venomous waste of air around my sweet Jay. My Jay. She slandered him, belittled me, devalued what we have, and I allowed it, like some sort of coward. It's going to end now, and I'm ending it my way. I will not be allowing Tricia to slink away from this or have room to twist words to make me look like anything other that a woman with righteous fury regarding the man she vowed to honor and protect.
I'm sorry to report I will not be taking the high road, nor will I be handling this with tact and decorum. I'm blowing this bitches social life sky fucking high, along with anybody who sides with her. Scorched earth, no prisoners, blood for the blood god.
Update Post 2: May 1, 2024
I'm going to keep this as brief as possible while still covering it, as there is a lot to cover involving about 15 people, and it's still all hitting the fan. Added the NSFW flair as some adult topics will be mentioned below, including potential SA and drug abuse.
During the fishing trip yesterday, I blocked Tricia on everything and reached out to people to say that Jay and I would be distancing ourselves from Tricia, why we were, and shared what "theory" Tricia had about them if there was one, along with any screenshots or evidence I had of Tricia talking about them. I also asked a few friends who might know if Tricia might be interested in Jay, as some people pointed out that that might have been a motivation for her to get between us.
Here's what's been dug up so far:

• Matt (the friend Tricia alleged was gay) confirmed, again, that he isn't gay. He shared a story about how he, his roommate, and Tricia had a get together at one point where they drank and smoked some weed. During the night, Tricia got handsy and tried getting together with Matt's roommate, who declined. When they sobered up the following morning, Tricia said that it should be fine because "men like that sort of thing". After that, Matt and his roommate weren't comfortable with her and effectively barred her from going to their place. Matt suspects this is the origin of the gay rumor, and he's chosen to step away from the social group to reevaluate some things. I didn't want to press him, so I left it there.
• Vince and Maria have gone dark. Maria believed that Tricia was the victim in all of this, and Vince was vague in his responses and seemed to be taking a more hands off approach, but they stopped responding when another friend sent a screenshot of Tricia alluding to them being swingers because they have a decorative pineapple on their kitchen counter. Neither of them have anyone blocked, but no one can get a response out of them, either.
• One friend got into an argument with his girlfriend after said girlfriend went through his phone because of the drama and found either texts or pics (I don't know which) that, according to her, prove that he's been sleeping with Tricia on and off. I heard this from his brother, who reached out after the girlfriend left a voicemail saying she's kicking the friend out, and the brother wanted to know what was going on. I'm not sure exactly what's happening there, as that friend has also gone dark, and none of us know the girlfriend very well/have her phone number.
• One friend came clean about her struggles with prescription pain meds after her mother lost her battle with cancer because Tricia had been trying to blackmail her into getting dirt on Matt, Jay, and Vince and was using the drug abuse as leverage. Admittedly, a lot of my attention got diverted after this came to light because that's a much bigger problem than my beef with Tricia. We are still working on creating a good way for people to be a support system for her moving forward, and that will be what we as a group will focus on from here on out.
• An old friend of Jay's dropped a nuke by revealing that Tricia tried blowing him in the bathroom during a "Friendsgiving Dinner" we had last year, only to turn around and try to blow a different guy in the bathroom after Chris turned her down.

Jay, some other friends, and I created a new Discord server for all of the friends coming out of this drama against Tricia, and so far, it's just been a lot of comparing dates, texts, and Discord DMs, but it looks like Tricia has been trying to either sleep with or break up every guy in the friend group, as well as either get rid of or get leverage on every girl friend in the group.
Either way, we have bigger fish to fry now. It's time to put this all behind us and help our friend who really needs it. Thank you all for your kind words and helpful advice, even the harsh stuff <3

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7.

I am STILL NOT the Original Poster. That u/Organic_Let_5948. He posted in AITAH.
Previous BORU is here. New Update marked with ****\*
Trigger Warning: religious trauma; parental alienation; suicidal ideation; depression; alcoholism
Mood Spoiler: incredibly disheartening
Original Post: April 13, 2024
I dont even know where to begin with this.
Me 34M and my Wife 33F have 2 Kids together 11M and 9F.
Me and my Wife have been together for 12 years and married for 8.
Around a year ago I noticed my wife increasingly sending me these Tradwife or traditional housewife tiktoks. I have nothing against that type of relationship but I don't think it makes sense for our current family situation. I do earn earn quite a bit more than my wife and enough to sustain our family on my own but I dont see the need to do so. I work 80% and my wife 50% and besides Wednesdays where the both of us are working, either one of us is always home for the kids. I could work a 100% and let my Wife be SAHM but again, both of my kids are attending school and in my mind there is no need for my wife to be at home 24/7.
She got increasingly pushy about it over the past two months and again I just kept on telling her that there wasnt any need for that and If we did decide to go down that route, what would she do during the hours my kids attended school? I know damn well our house doesent need to be cleaned for 6 hours a day. She would constantly try to butter me up with "You would have dinner ready every day when coming home from work" and something about unlimited blowjobs or some bs like that. Again in the nicest way possible I would remind her that our kids werent toddlers and our current work-life schedule allowed us to function perfectly fine.
We got into a pretty heated argument two weeks ago about it and my wife completely stopped having sex with me to "show me what I would be missing out on." Shes basically been treating me like a roommate since.
I just thought she would get over it and this was just a phase but god was I wrong. I came home from work yesterday and saw a bunch of presents on the dining table. At first I thought they were all for me since my birthday was in a week but I then I saw the labels on them addressed to my wife. I read one of the letters attached to one of the presents. The last sentence on it was literally "It was so a pleasure working along side you and I wish you all the best moving forwards." I thought this was some sick prank. A few minutes later my wife just casually strolled into the living room acting like nothing was wrong. I guess she saw my mad expression and had the audacity to tell me that "You'll get over it." I just lost it.
I just left without saying another word and went to my parents house. I feel absolutely disrespected. Why the fuck would my wife think it was okay to just quit her job without telling me and just expect me to be fine with it. My wife has been bombarding me with texts and calls demanding to know where I am and that the kids miss me. I just told her to go find a lawyer and that I was done with her and then proceeded to block her.
My son just sent me a voicemail crying and asking why I was divorcing mom and if I was leaving the family and I guess that kind of broke my heart. I haven't responded and honestly dont know what to say to him. My mother in law has also been demanding that I return home and apologize to my wife. My parents also seem to be siding with wife since they are traditional muslims. My mom also used to a SAHM.
I feel like im wrong for immediately jumping to divorce without hearing her out and besides this whole job drama, love my wife too much for this to be the end of our otherwise perfect marriage but on the other hand I feel like i've lost complete trust in her.
Should I just swallow my pride and let my wife stay at home from now on or should I follow through on divorcing her?
How should I navigate this situation?
AITA here?
Relevant Comments:
About their religion:
Thank you but we arent strict muslims. Yes we pray etc but we dont follow any of the traditional gender role ideologies. My wife tends to be a bit more on the conservative and traditional side where I am a bit more labral. And i mean doesn't the same apply for christianity?
Go back home:
Ive told my son ill be home by tomorrow. Ill just be gone for two days..
There had to have been red flags earlier than this:
I mean before this the only red flag I saw was her constantly just ignoring me if we had a disagreement but usually that was for maybe max 2 days. This was the first time she did that for a longer period of time.
Crux of the issue:
The fact that she would be home relaxing isnt the issue. Its the fact that we now have to significantly cut down on our current expenses and im not even sure if my company is willing to let me work 100%.
This exchange:
Commenter: This “tradwife” shit is cult-level batshit crazy. The women who are indebted to tradwife culture out of some desire to be more valued (?) and have fewer outside of the home responsibility and the men who encourage women to be/become “tradwives” out of some weird chauvinist nostalgia for the family dynamics of the 40s-60s and an insecure need to fully control their wife and household are codependent wrecks and borderine sociopaths, respectively. I feel so bad that you’ve been hit so hard by this, I imagine it’d be like figuring out one of your parents went down the Q Anon rabbit hole or worse. You should split with her, absolutely. Beyond a certain point there’s no reasoning with these people.

OOP: Thank you but I dont think that this post should spread hate to those who currently are/were tradwifes. Its a completely acceptable type of relationship IF both partys agree to it and thats my primary issue with all of this.

There is no consensus bot on AITAH, but the majority of responses were NTA
Update Post: April 18, 2024 (5 days later)
First of all I just want to thank you guys for the overwhelming support I have received.
Ive received a ton of messages but please be patient with me, This week has definitely been tough on me. This whole family drama has definitely taken a toll on me physically and mentally.
Here is my original Post: https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1c397zy/aita_for_threatening_my_wife_with_divorce_afte?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I just want to add a few crucial details that I missed to mention in my original Post.
I suffer from a genetic heart condition that puts me at risk to stress induced cardiac arrest. I used to work full time but was forced to cut down on my work after suffering a silent heart attack. This was nearly a decade ago but since then ive worked my own physical and mental wellbeing . Some people didnt understand me constantly mentioning why it was such an issue working the extra 20%. I honestly dont know how much time I have left and my kids are the most important things in my life. For my own mental health its essential that I get to spend time with my kids throughout the week. Besides my Wife and kids I have nothing. I hate my fucking job and purely continue for the sake of my kids and wife.
Well after spending a day at my parents house, eventually I felt enough time had passed for me to gather my thoughts on everything. What she did seemed like the ultimate slap in the face but I went back with the intention to resolve this and didnt want to escalate this fucking nightmare.
My wife seemed happy I returned but wasnt apologetic at all. The kids ,especially my son, were ecstatic. That sort of made me ignore the lack of remorse for the time being. That same night after putting my kids to bed I told her we need to have a serious discussion.
I told her how I felt about everything she did. The fact that she knows about my health condition and still went through with it. The fact that I set clear boundaries and she still chose to quit her job without my consent. How the fact that she told my son that I was going to abandon the family really felt like a stab in the back. How throughout all of this, she didn't even seem remorseful once. The fact that she chose her own happiness to the detriment of mine. The fact I sacrificed so much for the family and I got repaid like this. The fact that we now as a family have to make major lifestyle changes, since a third of our family income vanished.
For a split second I saw an ounce of sadness in her eyes before she went right back to being annoyed with me.
I then simply told her to lay out her half of the story. Here is a summary of what she said.
She felt ignored by me constantly rejecting her proposal. She had worked long enough and this was finally the time for her to enjoy her life as a "true wife". She also said that I was being a baby about the whole spending extra time with the kids thing. That really pissed me off and we ended up getting into a heated argument. I coudnt bare any of it anymore and just ended up sleeping in the guest room.
Until yesterday nothing changed. She constantly tried to play everything off and wanted to "embrace her new role" by constantly trying to have sex with me and by making me my favorite dishes. It just felt like she was trying to manipulate me again I wasnt having any of it. I just kept on sleeping in the guest room.
Well my birthday was yesterday. And after work my wife and kids picked me up and we ate dinner together. This was probably the first time I genuinely had a smile on my face in a week. Well that smile vanished because she tried to seduce me again later that night.
I rejected her and to my surprise she had a full on mental breakdown. I just held her as she started apologising for what she did. She claimed she didnt understand how much she hurt me, she was sorry for making me feel like an afterthought etc. We ended up sleeping in the same bed yesterday. I felt like things were finally moving in the right direction and I again asked her about searching for a new job today. Instead of getting mad she just replied with a "i need to think about it."
Yeah thats where things are as of today.
It feels like progress is being made but idk this just might be another manipulation tactic of hers.
I'll probably make a final update in a month or so. Reddit isnt doing my mental health any favours.
How would you guys move forward in this situation?
Could I have done something better?
Is she being genuine?
(And to those incels who constantly bring up islam as a way to justify her behaviour, please shut the fuck up. )
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: If you're still questioning things at this point, respectfully, take your fucking head out of your ass

OOP: I guess youre hinting at divorce. Let me make it more clear for you. In our culture divorce is the last resort and extremely frowned upon and especially if there are kids involved. I want to fix this. If she shows no improvement after ive tried everything? Yes then ill go for divorce.

Commenter: She's not even being a good tradwife since they are supposedly meant to put their husband's needs ahead of their own but she is definitely putting her wants ahead of your needs. It sounds like you really need couple's counseling.

OOP: She believes my needs soley revolve around sex. That's the problem.OOP (different comment) She has always been like this. She fucks up or wants something from me = trying to fuck me 24/7

Commenter: When she came to you with her issue what did you do to help find a solution?

OOP: I constantly told her she can reduce her hours if she wants. Thats fine with me. Being at home 24/7 without my consent is where I draw the line.

Do you have life insurance?
Yeah. I work for an insurance.
Couples counseling:
Thank you. Couples therapy can definitely help.
Alcoholism Post: April 19, 2024 (Next Day)
(Editor's note: I did not originally include this post in my first BORU because I was not sure if the sub it was taken from allowed crossposting. Several people linked it in the comments of that BORU, so after reviewing the rules several times I've included it on this post. I will take it down if that is against the rules anywhere.)
Title: I am going through some family issues and have been noticed myself reaching for the bottle far too often.
Life has been terrible for the past week. A lot of family drama and work has been more stressful than ever.
I just notice myself reaching for whisky more often than I usually do. I guess im just trying to drown out the misery for the time being.
Im scared I might turn to alcohol more often in the future. As of right now im drinking about two glasses of whisky a day when I get back from work. It used to be one glass a week.
My gut is telling me to stop but i feel like a zombie just going through life. I dont have any energy or self control left.
I also have two young kids and definitely dont want to set a bad example for them.
Is this normal? Should I remove all alcohol from the house immediately or am I overreacting?
What would your guys first steps be in my case?
Relevant Comment:
Hi mate,
It's hard for me to say if you have a drinking problem or not. I think, deep down, only you can know if something feels wrong or unhealthy about what you're doing. What I will say is that, in my experience, alcohol is a really addictive and sinister substance that can easily take a hold in your life. If you ever feel it's getting out of control and/or that you want to quit drinking, then remember that there's lots of help out there for you- primarily from your doctor, and also from support groups such as AA.
Wishing you all the best, mate. Feel free to message me for a chat if you like.
George

OOP: Thank you so much George!
I think I will start to cut down over the coming days. I dont want to take that risk of falling into complete addiction.
Wishing you the best aswell. And hey likewise. If you want to talk im a few clicks away.

*****New Update Post: April 29, 2024 (10 days later, 16 from OG)****\*
Again. Im beyond grateful for the all the love and support you guys have shown me. If im being honest with everyone ive been drinking a lot to get through this mess. I felt like a zombie just wandering around with no purpose. My wifes actions completely broke me.
Thankfully ive managed to cut most of it out over the past week and thats mostly thanks to reddit. You guys seriously helped me keep my mind busy with something else besides alcohol. Being reminded that have two smaller versions of myself, looking up to me and learning from the things I do, really helped me snap out of it.
Ive been at my lowest since making my first post and I think ive just hit a new low.
Until last week nothing changed since my last Post. My Wife still pranced around enjoying her new lifestyle while I suffered in silence. After Posting my update I did realize that my Wife 100% was trying to manipulate me into submitting to her demands. I asked her if she actually started looking for a job and she hesitated and told me no and she needs more time.
If im being honest thats all I needed to know from her. I tried making this work but honest to god, I couldn't keep living like that. Everyday that past felt like a part of my soul vanished. My Wife kept on trying to "please me" but It didnt seem genuine at all. Ive also started noticing her getting lazy and starting to neglect my kids. My wife stopped cooking and after working 9 hours of hell, I now was the one to help my son with his homework and the one to play Barbie with my daughter. Im not complaining about spending time with my kids but I could seiously see this becoming worse as time goes on. I dont know where the woman I once fell in love with went but that thing that lives with me wasnt her.
I know a lot of you are going to smile hearing this but I did tell my wife that I want a divorce last week. I came home from work and I saw my wife sitting on the couch watching TV while my daughter was crying in her room. I just snapped at that moment. I told we need to have a serious discussion after the kids go to sleep.
After I put my Kids to sleep I sat down with her and told her our marriage was over and that Ill be contacting my lawyer tomorrow. Divorce was never something I ever planned on doing in my life but I just felt like something needed to change or my kids would be visiting my gravesite in a few years. Our culture frowns upon it and I knew I was about to get serious backlash for it but at this point I couldn't care less.
I dont know why but she thought I was joking and started laughing. I told her I was being serious this time and her manipulation methods weren't going to work on me anymore and her face just went pale. She then went from screaming at me to crying to then blaming me for every issue in the family to then begging for another chance. She literally went to get her laptop and tried to apply for jobs on Indeed while begging. I just told her to cut the bullshit and told her I tried my best but she just kept giving me empty promises.
I told her the following:
I know her trying to fuck me just was a manipulation tactic and not to show her "devotion" to me as she puts it.
If she was truly sorry, why didnt she start applying for jobs immediately instead of waiting until I confronted her.
Her completely disregarding any of my feelings and needs while purely perusing her own, shows me how selfish she actually is. She knows about my health and still chose to completely fuck me over.
And now this part pissed me off a lot: Her poisoning my son against me when this all started, was beyond fucked up and looking back was enough of a reason to divorce her.
We ended up fighting for another hour or so and her constant screaming ended up waking up our daughter and thats when I told my wife to shut the fuck up and go to bed.
The following day my mom called me during work and asked if I lost my mind or something. My wife told my mom that I was going to divorce her.
She claimed that I was bringing serious shame onto the family and she didn't raise me to abandon my kids.
Yep my wife told my mom that I was planning on abandoning my kids and has been feeding my kids the same bs. I explained to my mom the reasons why I wanted divorce but she wont budge. If I divorce my wife, Im a disgrace of a man and my mom wants nothing to do with me.
I know my mom well enough to tell that her words are just empty threats but what hurts me most are the reactions of my kids. My son wont look me in the eyes and wont even let me anywhere near his room. My daughter just tries to hit me whenever I try to talk to her. I've tried explaining to them that im in fact not going to "give up on them" and me and their mom are just going to separate but they just seem to believe whatever bs my wife tells them. Friends and Inlaws also claim that im a monster for making my wife go through this.
My wife was served with divorce papers two days ago and has been crying nonstop since. My wife told my kids about the divorce papers and they both claim that they will never talk to me again and in my sons words im a bad husband and father. I cried myself to sleep that night.
I thought divorce would bring me peace but its only brought me one step closer to taking my life. As I stated in my previous post. I have nothing and am nothing without my kids.
Growing up dead poor as a refugee in Germany, i promised myself that I would give my kids a life that I myself could have only dreamed off but I feel like ive failed.
Im sorry for making this post longer than it has to be. Again I just want to thank everyone for the love and support but this will probably be my last post.
Wishing you all a lovely week.
Relevant Comments:
Commenter: I’d be showing anyone and everyone your posts and also look into the custody laws for wherever you live. Also you have to keep trying to get through to your kids and convince them you’re not going anywhere. You are one hundred percent NTA in this situation.

OOP: Thank you for the advice but I feel like thats going to do more harm than good. I feel like theyre just going to be mad that im sharing my private life with strangers on the internet. On top of that theyre english isnt good enough to understand my story anyways. And yes ive been looking into the ins and outs of custody laws here.

Commenter: The best way to get your kids to understand that you are not abandoning them is to go for full custody. You can tell the judge that your wife has no income and no desire to work and as such she cannot afford to give your children any kind of stability or decent life.
When the children see you fighting for them, they'll realise that you are not abandoning them, only their mother who wants to coast through life on your dime.

OOP: Thank you but I seriously fear that I wont get any custody due to me working near full time.

Commenter: And how would your wife support herself and the kid now she don't have any job either ? She may have time for the kids, but no money at all to support them.
And your argument of the first post still work. Your child are grown and go full time to school, they don't need you to be at home 24/7.

OOP: https://www.axa.ch/en/privatkunden/blog/at-home/law-and-justice/calculating-support-payments.html
These would roughly be my child support payments monthly. On top of alimony idk. Still have to look into it more. One of people in my team was only given weekend visitation due to him working full time so thats where I got the fear from so yeah. Need to continue consulting my lawyer for more info.

Commenter: Date outside your culture

OOP: Its not about culture. This can happen in any culture. Yes the things my mom and my inlaws are saying about me are because of the culture. Theyre is a lot of beauty in my culture but also a lot of ugly. I just dont want to deal with the stress of divorce ever again and ive never really "dated". My wife was my first real girlfriend so dating seems a bit overwhelming to me . And again I just want peace not more problems. If I die alone so be it.

Deleted Commenter: You are an idiot. Take your kids and get out. Stop leaving them with her.

OOP: Do you want me to take them with me to the office? And they currently dont want anything to do with me. I took a week off work to maybe go on a trip with my kids to help them relax during this mess but they just refuse to leave my wifes side and claim im a monster.

Commenter: You working FT is what will get you custody. You can afford to house feed and clothe your kids. Start the paper trail, communicate with your STBX only by text. Use reddit search for "FU BINDER" MAKE ONE RELIGIOUSLY and backups. Have a plan for after school care for the kids. That's the last part that will show you're 100% ready for full custody. Don't give up. Your kids need you. You need you alive. Big hugs and keep updating us please.

OOP: Depends. Government could argue that me just paying my wife alimony and child support and me maybe getting weekend visitation would be a better option. Nothing is definitive. Im still researching what the most likely outcome would be and preparing my finances accordingly.

In response to several longer, encouraging comments telling OOP to seek help and that they're worried about him:
Thank you❤ Its hard battling these thoughts but I know that im only going to hurt my family doing it.
OOP clarifies on one point:
I know a lot of people assume this but we used to split chores. If I was home, I did most of the cooking, cleaning etc and on weekends my Wife cooked and I did the chores.
Parental alienation:
Thank you for bringing that up to my attention. Ill have to look into that where I live. As far as im concerned, it doesent exist here but ill be researching it regardless.
Post-nup so you can keep your money?
Thank you for the advice but im not worried about giving her half of my assets. When we both got together we were both flat broke. She helped me achieve the things ive achieved so far in my carrier. Thats why I married her in the first place because I thought she would be with me through thick and thin but yeah people change. As far as alimony is concerned, im not sure. Might be around 2-3K a month for both kids if she gets primary custody of them.
(OOP clarifies alimony vs child support) Im sorry english isnt my first language. Yeah I meant to say child support. As far as alimony is concerned, I dont really care. I just want this nightmare to end.
Do you live in Germany now?
I live in Switzerland. Yeah but courts here still rule in favor of the woman.

A reminder to not comment on Original Posts. See rule 7.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ThrowRA-3258 posting in relationship_advice
Inconclusive/Ongoing as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 29th April 2024
Update in the same post - 30th April 2024
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My (32F) boyfriend (35M) of six years disappeared while I was out of town and I don't know what to do?
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Last Tuesday evening I (32F) came home from a being out of town for two weeks for work, my boyfriend (35M) Nate was supposed to pick me up from the airport but once I got in, I wasn't able to get ahold of him and he never showed up, I was a little annoyed but no too worried because I figured he had fallen asleep(When I talked to him earlier that morning he said he didn't sleep very well the night before and was going to lay down before he had to come get me)so I called my sister for a ride home.
When I got home Nate was no where to be found, I checked the garage an his car was gone, so I sent him a text asking where he was and headed up stairs to unpack. When I open the closet to put my things away I saw that almost all of his clothes were gone. At this point I'm confused, so I start calling him it just keeps ringing and then going to voicemail. I check his office and everything is still there, everything in the house is still there and in place except his clothes and his car. I'm really starting to freak out at this point, so I call my sister and she comes over and we both try calling and messaging him and still get no answer. his computer and his laptop are both still in his office, I logged on to his computer and my sister his laptop(I know all his passwords) but we didn't find anything out of the ordinary, so I started searching his desk and found his iPad in the top drawer, I logged into it and checked everything I could think of and found nothing out of the ordinary, my sister suggested checking the find my iPhone app on his iPad to see if we find out where his phone was. We logged into the app and see that his phone was pinging in the next state over, I starting calling him again but still got no answers to my calls or text.
I really start to lose it here, my mind starts going all over the place trying to figure out what could be going on, I called the police because I think someone has to have done something to him. The police came out but they said there wasn't much they could do because he hasn't been gone long and his clothes missing was sign the he left on his own violation.
Over the last few days I've done everything I can to contact him, He doesn't have any family except for a brother that he cut ties with before I met him, I found him online and sent him a message but he said he hasn't seen or heard from Nate in years. I keep checking his phones location and since Saturday morning it has been pinging in the same location in the PNW, I took off work for the rest of the week and my sister and I are flying up there to go to the location his phone is pinging.
Has anyone ever dealt with something like this before? How do I even confront him, what if he is with another woman, what if he isn't there or worse? I am so lost and hurt right now, my mind is all over the place, I can’t think straight, I’m so lost right now.
tl;dr my(32F) boyfriend (35M) of six years disappeared while I was out of town, haven't been able to contact him but his phone is pinging in the PNW and I am going to confront him tomorrow.
Edit: Yes I have called or messaged all of his friends, none of them have seen or heard from him, I do have access to his bank account as we have a joint account but not his business account, He last used his debt card Friday night in a town west of Seattle Washington, He owns his own business but has taken a step back over the last year so he doesn't communicate with them regularly, they haven't heard from him since last month.
I am 5 months pregnant and we have known for 3 months, he did become a bit reserved and withdrawn since we found out but its not uncommon for him to do that every so often especially around this time of year. I don't truly believe that he would abandon me and his child, that's just not the type of man he is but I don't know what to think anymore.
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Comments
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Big_fat_happy_baby
This situation is weird as fuck. Be careful out there, use common sense. If you can, get law enforcement involved in your destination, if only for your protection.
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usernaym44
OP buried the lede: she’s pregnant and bf lost or is estranged from his family. Dude is freaking the fuck out and needs therapy.
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Moal
Has he ever dealt with mental health or serious medical issues? Could he be depressed? Or in a fugue state? This is so strange, I hope you find answers soon.

OOP: Nothing like that, I know when he was young boy he had something really traumatic happen to him, he is missing a finger and has scars all down his leg and torso but he refuses to talk about it so I don't press him on it, he is a very laidback and stoic, nothing ever bothers or upsets him. However we did find out I was pregnant a couple months back and since then I have noticed he seems to be a little more withdrawn and reserved but he gets like that sometimes.

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Curiobb
Good OP. You deserve answers 100%.
Is his iPad linked to any of his messaging apps? I’m guessing not since you’ve already tried looking through it. I know I would be going absolutely crazy and that it’s easier said than done, but try to keep as calm as possible and know you will get your answers in a few short days. This is absolutely unfair, selfish, and crazy. So sorry you are going through it. There is obviously something VERY wrong if he ran away from home and is typically a caring and thoughtful kind person.
Also about the childhood trauma thing, I’m sure you asked about it upon first meeting him since the finger thing was apparent. Did he just say “I don’t like to talk about that”? I find it absolutely nuts that he has not opened up to you once about it after all this time. What has he said to your family and friends which I’m sure have asked about it if they’ve noticed his hand or seen him in a swimsuit? What’s he planning to tell his child when they will inevitably ask about it? Keeping it an angry secret doesn’t seem sustainable.

OOP: Yeah, the first time I asked him about his finger he said something happened when he was younger and he doesn't has never and will never talk about, I obviously found it odd but figured he would in time he would tell me, I've brought it up a couple times over the relationship and he always just shuts it down and the last time I brought it up was the only time he has ever raised his voice at me, so I just left it alone after that, that was a almost two years ago now. my brother in law asked him about his scars and all he said was it was from an accident he had when he was younger. He talks to me about how he is feeling all the time he is actually really good a communicating his thoughts and feelings, he talks to me about his life before he met me but only goes back to when he was around 21, he rarely mentions anything from his childhood or teens years. I know he was in some trouble with the law those years because he has a marijuana charge on his record from 2007 and when I went through the case notes he was already on probation when he got that charge but I have no idea what for, I found that out this past week as well. Obviously I am missing something but I just don't know what. I never thought he was lying to me or that he would lie to me but now I am questioning if I ever know who he is.

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Update - 8 hours later
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small update:
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first I want say thank you to everyone for suggesting the welfare check epically u/MuppetJonBonJovi We called the the department where his phone is pinging and they have sent someone over to see if they can make contact with him.. Its been over an hour and we are still waiting to hear back. I am hopeful but still have a overbearing since of dread. All I want to know right now is that he is ok and I can figure out everything else later, I just need to know he is ok.
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UPDATE:
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The police were able to do a welfare check and although they were unable to make direct contact with him they spoke to the couple who live at the house, they said they were old family friends and that he was there on Friday and Saturday but that he went to the Olympics Sunday morning to go hiking for a couple of days, The officers informed them of what was going on and they told him, they believed he was ok and that they would contact me tonight to try and help explain the situation. What does that even mean? I am even more confused, our flight to Seattle is at 9:45am tomorrow and at this point we are still going, I hope these people do call but its been awhile now and I haven't heard anything.
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NEW UPDATE:
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I think this will be my final update, I have to get ready and get my stuff packed for the flight in the morning, I have just spent the last hour speaking to the couple who house he was at and they against his wishes told me what is going on. They have known Nate since he was 12 years old, he started dating their daughter Ashley when they were in sixth grade and they counited dating all through middle school and high school. Ashley got pregnant toward the end of their senior year and they got engaged. I don't know how to even write this next part, When their son was a 1.5 years old they were involved in an accident with a drunk driver, Nate was ejected from the car and Ashley and his son passed away in the accident, She said that he blames himself for it because according to him they were never supposed to be out that night and it was his fault they were, She said he withdrew from them and everyone else and that up until last Friday that hadn't heard from him since he left. She has offered to come get my sister and I from the airport in the morning and she can try to answer any questions I have while we wait for him to return, She said they know where he is, he is at the spot they spread their ashes, she said he told her that he need be with his son one more time before he let him go... I'm honestly in a total state of shock right now, I don't know what to think but I know he is in pain and I need to get to him and I can figure everything else after.
Thank you to all the kind people who reached out and offered your suggestions, I honestly don't think I would have this information right now if it wasn't for you all, so again thank you!
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Comments
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sffood
Best I can make of this is that to become a father again, he needed to have closure with the child he had before. I have no idea how to excuse his just taking off on his pregnant girlfriend to do it, abandoning her at the airport and going no contact. That’s pretty despicable, and not something I’d forgive easily. I mean he’s put you guys through hell because he couldn’t even bother to answer his phone. And what is with taking all his clothes… Just weird.
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Sorry_I_Guess
It sounds like he may have had a bit of a breakdown. Not excusing it, but this definitely doesn't sound premeditated. More like he had a breakdown over the thought of becoming a father again, and felt he needed closure with the past that he'd just sort of abandoned up until now.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Strap in, this is a long one. Some backstory, my biological mother moved my older sister and I into a coworker's basement(soon to be stepmom) to save us from a very abusive situation involving my then stepfather. Because of this, my mother, sister and I have always had this view that my stepmom, no matter what she did, had saved us, and that was ultimately better than what we lived through before. A couple months after moving in my mother confessed that they had started dating and that she was a lesbian. Growing up with her, my family realized my stepmom was very narcissistic, materialistic, and manipulative, but it was always easier to sweep it under the rug and I won't get into anything that happened during my childhood here.
Cut to April of last year, I had just recently turned 25, and my mother calls me in the middle of the night. She told me that after 12 years of being together, she was leaving my stepmom and that she needed a place to stay until she figured out what she was doing. I told her to come sleep on my couch and we would figure it out in the morning. We stayed up and my mother told me why she left. Apparently she had fallen out of love years ago, and this was mainly due to financial stress. My mother had accrued over 100k in debt because of medical bills, multiple maxed out credit cards and poor decisions regarding rent-to-own furniture and dealership vehicles.
I honestly couldn't believe it, but I supported my mother and during the next week we moved their camper into my yard so she could live in it. I'm not ashamed to admit that I was overjoyed to house my mother, I love her, and her job kept her out on the road a lot so I hadn't been able to spend much time with her since I got pregnant back in 2019. My husband was equally happy because he wanted to finally get to know her and he never liked my stepmom.
During the three months she stayed with us my mother used me for emotional support because she was very depressed, and my stepmom was telling anyone who would listen to her that my mother actually cheated(she didn't) but that she still wanted to rekindle their relationship. My mother had an Internet friend that she would game with, but they were just friends until two months after the breakup. Then in June, my mother left our homestate to move across country to be with her new girlfriend and to get a fresh new start. I was and am still devastated. My mother is my rock, but she deserves the world and I want her to be happy, and if it's not here with me and my children and my sister then I wasn't going to fight her on it.
This is where things started to get messy between my stepmom and me. She would come over, mainly while my husband was away at work, and talk crap about my mother. My sister wasn't speaking with our mother, so my stepmom would try to get information out of me about what my mother was doing, how she was feeling, and about her new relationship. During this time, stepmom had lost a significant amount of weight and would stalk new girlfriend's Facebook and talk about how fat the new girlfriend was, stating, "your mom doesn't even like chubbier girls." Problematic, but I mainly tried to ignore her, and didn't make any defense because she's always been all bark and no bite. The new girlfriend would never hear about it from me so I let it lie.
Stepmom has always been a narcissist, so any conversation with her was all about how attractive women online were wanting to move her across country and take care of her, how she was so much better looking than new girlfriend, and that she was the better parent because she chose to stay for my sister and I when my mother didn't. She'd cut me off mid sentence when I was trying to talk about my kids, and would only listen to me after purposely riling me up about my mother leaving to get an emotional reaction out of me. This got old fast, but I kept talking to her because my sister and I still loved her.
I only began to resent her when an issue with my car came up last year. Back in 2020, I took over the payments on a car my stepmom was driving because I needed a new one and she wanted to get a new truck. Everything went fine with that for awhile, and after the last payment I forgot about it entirely. I never got the title for some reason and we never exchanged receipts or a bill of sale, but I didn't think it was a big deal because she was my parent(stupid I know, but hindsight is 20/20). Well anyway, I got a ticket for having no insurance and got my plates suspended for three months because this selfish woman was taking my money but wasn't paying the insurance and it lapsed. This turned into a bigger mess because my stepmom wouldn't answer her door or her phone when I made attempts to get the title for my car so I could drive my car legally once the suspension was over. I would've waited, but I was already forced to drive my husband's single-cab truck with two kids and we had another on the way. My car, that was rotting in our driveway, was the only vehicle big enough to transport all of my kids safely when my new baby arrived.
My stepmom would complain to my sister about me harassing her, and then send me some vague excuse via text about how she couldn't sign over the title. It was incredibly frustrating but there wasn't anything I could do but let her put insurance back on my car under her name. I thought I could just make it work until my mother returned home for the birth of my daughter, but again, this woman allowed the insurance to lapse due to non-payment. I panicked, so I contacted the insurance company myself and they let me put down my husband's debit card so I could continue paying for my car's insurance until I got things figured out. Unfortunately, they didn't inform me that they were charging me over $400 for her unpaid insurance payments for her truck, to settle the account. I've since been refunded, but at the time I was absolutely furious.
When my mother made it home, I had already given birth, and no one could get a hold of my stepmom. I tried calling her and when she didn't answer I left her a very nasty voicemail. I'd never spoken to her like that ever in my life, but I was so incredibly frustrated, I was stressed beyond belief and I snapped. I called her useless, I told her she was screwing up my life and had cost my husband so much money and she needed to deal with me. Hours later, she must have listened to my voicemail and sent me a text saying that my husband could go by her work and she would sign the title. She actually followed through for once in her life and was polite to my husband when he saw her. I was so relieved I cried when my husband handed me the title. I vowed to never speak to her again, and luckily, my stepmom hasn't tried to reach out since then and it's been over a month. She also hasn't been speaking to my sister, who she's always been closer to.
I've always wondered why she drew this out for as long as she did, and my mother thinks that she was punishing me for "picking a side" when I allowed my mother to live on my property after they split. I don't know, but now to the question. My sister was talking to a family friend, and this person said to her that she couldn't believe that I'd just abandon my stepmom because she's all alone and has no support system and she was such a huge part of our lives.
I do feel bad for her, but I am not going to be a pushover anymore. Anyone who disrespects me and doesn't want to put any effort into seeing my children has no place in my life. My kids deserve better, and I deserve better. But I'm only asking this because whenever I drive past her neighborhood I find myself worrying about her and am bothered by the fact that I don't know if she's okay. She helped raise me after a really horrible situation, but now that I'm an adult she's treated me like garbage. My sister agrees, but has stated that if she ever apologized to me she might reconsider having her in our lives. I told my husband if that ever happens he can't let me go back on my word, I truly am done with her and I don't want her to ever meet my daughter.
So AITA?

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Substantial-Fox-4386 posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Long
Thanks to u/KnightFury077 for suggesting this BORU
Original - 29th April 2024
Update 1 - 30th April 2024
Update 2 - 1st May 2024
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AITAH for telling a friend that my husband can't be cheating on me, and she's just projecting?
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For context, I (31F) have been with my husband Jay (34M) for 10 years. We met through mutual friends, began dating shortly after, and became engaged after being together for about 2 years. We aren't legally married yet, as we both agreed we wanted an all-out wedding and to travel for our honeymoon, but that ish is expensive, and we wanted to prioritize spending our money on things like our house, our vehicles, medical, and so on.
We bought each other matching rings that we wear as if we are married, refer to each other as husband and wife, and present as married socially, we just haven't actually had a wedding. Our families understand this, and since we are both children of divorce, our parents were fine with us not wanting to get married, since their opinion of marriage was somewhat skewed to put it politely. Most of our friends also don't comment on our lack of being officially married, as they either don't care, agree with our logic that there are more important things to spend money on, or are the sort of people who think the point of a legal marriage isn't as necessary as it has been in the past.
Then there's Tricia (28F). I met Tricia through an old job and we got along really well. We enjoyed the same music, food, and had similar opinions on things like movies, books, and clothes. Tricia is a lovely person, and I do genuinely enjoy her friendship, but she occasionally goes through these odd phases where she analyzes the behavior of the men in our social circle. She will present her "theories" to us ladies based on things like social media posts, "odd behaviors" she says she noticed during group barbecues or beach trips, things like that.
While I have no problem calling out potential shitty behavior in a friend, the things she deems "suspicious" don't really hold water in my opinion. For example, she's never quite let go of considering a male friend gay, and her "evidence" is that he's a bit of a perpetual bachelor. According to him, his bachelor status is because he's holding out for a girl who doesn't mind his transient lifestyle as a man who has to travel a lot for work and would want to join him rather than wait around at home, but according to Tricia, he must be having gay dalliances across the country and refuses to tell us, even though many in our friend group are gay, out of the closet, and even bring their partners to social events.
Then there's my sweet Jay. Jay has never been a very physically affectionate person, and he is likely autistic, but isn't interested in having a formal diagnosis. He took the RAADS-R (a test to screen for autism in undiagnosed adults) about 4 years ago when he was seeking treatment for chronic migraines, and the results suggested strongly that he may be autistic. Once he got those results back, he sort of got over the idea of "wanting answers" for some of his mental health questions, preferring to just go to therapy and work on finding a good treatment for his migraines. According to him, the RAADS-R was "good enough to solve the mystery" and provided some closure for him. I didn't press the issue, as the idea of getting on his case about a diagnosis he didn't feel he needed seemed unnecessarily harsh to me.
On top of that, Jay loves fishing. When you put these two facts together, hopefully a picture gets painted for you, but I'll clarify anyway. He knows all about the different types of aquatic environments in our area that you can legally fish, when all the different spawning seasons are, what every species eats, how they hunt, and he can even tell what sort of fish is on his hook based on how it feels when he's pulling them in.
He can look at a body of water and instantly tell you if fishing will be good that day, and he has never been wrong; it's like living with a fish-based psychic! Since I am an avid lover of seafood, his fishing and pursuit of fish-centric knowledge has only been a boon to me. I can express interest in wanting a fish dinner on Monday morning, and that night, he will bring home and cook up enough fish for us to eat like royalty. He's even excited to catch fish to make into fertilizer for my new rose bushes, since he feels confident he will be able to pull up the perfect "food" for my new roses.
The "suspicious" activity, according to Tricia, is that he often goes on spur-of-the-moment fishing trips by himself, and can sometimes be gone for hours. He will randomly stand up, say something like "Alright. Fishin' time." and give me a kiss before he hits the road. While I would ordinarily agree that something like that could be suspicious, I know factually that Jay isn't cheating, as he always sends me countless pictures and videos while he's on these trips, as well as calling me on the phone when he's particularly excited about a good catch, how he's trying to get uniquely sneaky fish, a cool bird he saw, things like that.
Even if he's gone for 10 hours, my phone will be blowing up for all 10 of those hours with pictures of his sunshine smile next to a fish, or videos of him cheering as he shows me what he's got on the stringer (a long, thin rope used to keep fish alive, but attached to your boat, in the water). I adore these pictures, videos, and phone calls, since they make my heart so full with how much joy he feels and how at peace he is on the water. I would join him more often, but I usually stay home since it wouldn't be fair to our dogs if both of us left for undefined amounts of time on a whim. Instead, I find my peace in watching through his eyes, and when he comes home, I'm always happy to get the play-by-play of how the trip went while Jay prepares the fish for us to eat. We even have a game now where he quizzes me on what types of fish he caught, and if I win, I get a big hug!
None of this is good enough for Tricia. For years now, she has had her suspicions about Jay, but I've always brushed them off as I'm secure in my relationship and trust Jay implicitly. When Tricia first brought her "theory" to me, I brought it up to Jay, who was genuinely hurt and asked if I shared in her suspicions and wanted him to go fishing less. I told him no, but that I felt he deserved to know what Tricia was telling people about him. He understood and was willing to let sleeping dogs lie. Over the years, as Jay and I kept on keepin' on, unmarried and in fishy bliss, Tricia became more and more adamant that not only was Jay cheating, but that the reason we weren't married is that he convinced me to wait for an expensive wedding and he would rather continue on cheating during fake fishing trips.
Her "proof" was his random trips, the fact that he doesn't physically touch me "a lot" when we are in public, and how "he never let's me go with him". Countless times, I have shown her the giant folder of fishing pictures and videos in my phone, call logs showing how often we're in communication, and told her that I didn't need to have him grabbing on me or dangling off of me in public to feel secure with him. I've brought up our responsibilities as dog owners to not leave them alone for hours on a whim without the ability to relieve themselves outside. I've even told her multiple times over the years that she's more than welcome to ask Jay if she could tag along on a trip and see for herself how committed he is to fishing, but she always refuses. Again, since Jay has been fine with ignoring the drama, I let it slide, up until about a week ago.
Jay was talking about going on a day-long fishing trip with two of our friends, Vince and Maria (who are married) as they had expressed interest in going and saw the trip as a sort of blend between a staycation and a chartered boat trip. Tricia spoke privately with me, saying that I must be happy that Maria is going, since she will be able to ensure that not only Jay can't cheat on me, but that Vince can't cover for him if he tries to. I'd finally had enough, as now she was dragging poor Vince into this and slandering his character, when all Vince had done is agree to a day trip with an old friend.
I told Tricia that she needs to either bring her suspicions directly to Jay and hash it out with him, or let it go, because as far as I'm concerned, she's projecting her issues onto Jay since Tricia can't keep a guy longer than three months. While that assessment isn't entirely true, I wanted to hurt her feelings and cut her down to size, since that's my sweet Jay she's dragging through the mud. Tricia not only took it personally, but said that I was just naive and was afraid to be single. I told Tricia that she was projecting again, since she's a serial dater who scares men off with her wannabe Sherlock Holmes nonsense, and she just can't fathom a man with a real hobby because she only goes after half-baked fake gymbros more interested in their own tits than hers and wannabe finance bros who blow their entire paychecks on crypto.
She stopped talking to me after that, and hasn't reached out to me since. Granted, I haven't reached out to her either, but I'm mad at her, because she was rude. Our friend group doesn't really give this entire situation much weight, saying stuff like "that's just how she is" or "what did you expect" or "we know Jay isn't cheating, but he's an exception to the rule, and maybe Tricia just doesn't see that". While I was willing to stand my ground at first and not budge on the issue, now I'm wondering if maybe I was too harsh and should apologize for being petty just because I wanted to knock her down a peg and get her to give up on her "theories".
TL;DR My female friend is convinced my husband is cheating on me because he fuckin loooooves fishing and goes on day trips frequently, and after years of hearing her doubts and showing proof that he's faithful, I snapped at her, insulted her taste in men, and spoke negatively about her dating history.
AITAH and should I apologize, or do I keep all 10 toes in the ground and let her twist?
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Comments
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PolarGCNips
First of all, Jay sounds wonderful. Congrats on snagging him, I smiled reading when you were talking about him, very wholesome. Tricia sucks man. Tricia isn't helping anyone, she's actively hurting people's marriages, relationships and friendships, I'd bail on her asap, idk what you see in a person who has put THAT much time into belittling your wonderful husband. I was also a little irked by people in your group chat saying Jay is the exception... how? You said Tricia is always doing this and she's wrong as fuck. Why are you friends with Tricia is fabricating rumors about your friends being gay and your husband cheating on you... like to the point that you told Jay "this is what she's saying about you to people"...like you know she didn't just say it to you, but everyone, and you're still letting this bitch hang around? Gross.

OOP: Hearing it framed this way is a shock I think I needed. I wanted to get defensive at first, but you have a really solid point. Someone else here asked if maybe Tricia is interested in Jay, and I'm going to dig into that, but now I want to dig into this as well. Thank you for your input, it's put a lot into perspective.

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Scary-Cycle1508
Also just food for thought. Are you sure she's not spreading rumours about you behind your back? Anyone willing to talk to you behind someone elses back, is willing to talk about you behind your back

OOP: I'm sure she is at this point. Reading the comments here have changed how I view the entire friend group. I'll be speaking with some mutual friends about what they've heard; it's receipt time.

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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 1 day later
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I wanted to give a small update now before I bring the axe down tonight. This will be shorter, as Jay and I will be going fishing together this afternoon after lunch.
I showed Jay the original thread and we had a heart to heart that lasted until the wee hours of the morning. Firstly, he wanted me to express his appreciation for you all, as well as shoutout his fellow fishing enthusiasts. He encourages you all to get out there and try your best, regardless of your success, and to instead share with him the joy it brings, even if we can't all go fishing together.
After going through all of your beautiful words and generous support, we shared our thoughts on the matter not only as a couple, but as two people with different levels of attachment to the individuals in our friend group. We both agree that we had been holding onto these friendships more out of a sense of nostalgia and a desire to be kind, rather than actually examining what these friends brought to the table and whether or not they enriched our lives. We had been distracted by a desire for community and old bonds, sacrificing our comfort and respect for not only ourselves, but our choice to be together and have a dynamic that some may not view as normal or valid in some capacities. While Jay and I have different views on what certain friends mean to us, we agree that enough is enough, and it's time to not only establish boundaries, but to not give an inch to those who have caused us to come to this, Tricia especially.
That said, Jay is a good man. A strong, whip-smart, generous man, and reading the feedback you all provided made me realize something: I am fucking angry.
I allowed a venomous waste of air around my sweet Jay. My Jay. She slandered him, belittled me, devalued what we have, and I allowed it, like some sort of coward. It's going to end now, and I'm ending it my way. I will not be allowing Tricia to slink away from this or have room to twist words to make me look like anything other that a woman with righteous fury regarding the man she vowed to honor and protect.
I'm sorry to report I will not be taking the high road, nor will I be handling this with tact and decorum. I'm blowing this bitches social life sky fucking high, along with anybody who sides with her. Scorched earth, no prisoners, blood for the blood god.
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Comments
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FloMoJoeBlow
...as she takes off the earrings and says "hold my purse". Shit just got real. :)
No-You5550
I am popping the popcorn and waiting for the update.
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Update - 1 day later
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I'm going to keep this as brief as possible while still covering it, as there is a lot to cover involving about 15 people, and it's still all hitting the fan. Added the NSFW flair as some adult topics will be mentioned below, including potential SA and drug abuse.
During the fishing trip yesterday, I blocked Tricia on everything and reached out to people to say that Jay and I would be distancing ourselves from Tricia, why we were, and shared what "theory" Tricia had about them if there was one, along with any screenshots or evidence I had of Tricia talking about them. I also asked a few friends who might know if Tricia might be interested in Jay, as some people pointed out that that might have been a motivation for her to get between us.
Here's what's been dug up so far:

• Matt (the friend Tricia alleged was gay) confirmed, again, that he isn't gay. He shared a story about how he, his roommate, and Tricia had a get together at one point where they drank and smoked some weed. During the night, Tricia got handsy and tried getting together with Matt's roommate, who declined. When they sobered up the following morning, Tricia said that it should be fine because "men like that sort of thing". After that, Matt and his roommate weren't comfortable with her and effectively barred her from going to their place. Matt suspects this is the origin of the gay rumor, and he's chosen to step away from the social group to reevaluate some things. I didn't want to press him, so I left it there.
• Vince and Maria have gone dark. Maria believed that Tricia was the victim in all of this, and Vince was vague in his responses and seemed to be taking a more hands off approach, but they stopped responding when another friend sent a screenshot of Tricia alluding to them being swingers because they have a decorative pineapple on their kitchen counter. Neither of them have anyone blocked, but no one can get a response out of them, either.
• One friend got into an argument with his girlfriend after said girlfriend went through his phone because of the drama and found either texts or pics (I don't know which) that, according to her, prove that he's been sleeping with Tricia on and off. I heard this from his brother, who reached out after the girlfriend left a voicemail saying she's kicking the friend out, and the brother wanted to know what was going on. I'm not sure exactly what's happening there, as that friend has also gone dark, and none of us know the girlfriend very well/have her phone number.
• One friend came clean about her struggles with prescription pain meds after her mother lost her battle with cancer because Tricia had been trying to blackmail her into getting dirt on Matt, Jay, and Vince and was using the drug abuse as leverage. Admittedly, a lot of my attention got diverted after this came to light because that's a much bigger problem than my beef with Tricia. We are still working on creating a good way for people to be a support system for her moving forward, and that will be what we as a group will focus on from here on out.

An old friend of Jay's dropped a nuke by revealing that Tricia tried blowing him in the bathroom during a "Friendsgiving Dinner" we had last year, only to turn around and try to blow a different guy in the bathroom after Chris turned her down.
Jay, some other friends, and I created a new Discord server for all of the friends coming out of this drama against Tricia, and so far, it's just been a lot of comparing dates, texts, and Discord DMs, but it looks like Tricia has been trying to either sleep with or break up every guy in the friend group, as well as either get rid of or get leverage on every girl friend in the group.
Either way, we have bigger fish to fry now. It's time to put this all behind us and help our friend who really needs it. Thank you all for your kind words and helpful advice, even the harsh stuff <3
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Comments
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AlwaysOnsideTBH
Holy shit, Tricia is a much bigger asshole than ever anticipated initially. Fuck her and her very being, she deserves to be all alone and sad with nobody to talk to after all the stuff she's been doing behind everyone's back
Blackmailing someone who just lost their mother is terrible!! She's genuinely such a bad human being, disgusting person!
Also I'm guessing she's pretty unattractive if everyone is turning down her advances lmao, she's definitely jealous of all you guys in happy relationships
KatersHaters
Swinger pineapples, blackmail, bathroom blowjobs, and of course Fishing - this update had everything! 10/10, no notes.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I'm pretty exhausted by this point, but here is the gist of this crazy situation. Earlier this month I ordered a debit card through mail. I never saw the card arrive. One morning I was browsing Reddit and saw that viral post about the card skimmer at 711 which then led into a rabbit hole of identifying card skimmers videos. That had me thinking, "I should check my bank account". When I checked my bank account I see a huge funds transfer, two $500 ATM withdraws and a $70 transaction from that debit card. My heart tanked. Thank goodness I checked my account the same morning all of this was going down. I locked the card immediately and called the bank.
This was during the weekend so the fraud services were out of office until Monday. When Monday rolled around I spoke to a rep and gave my extended story, they asked "how did you first notice all this" I told them "I was watching videos about card fraud and then checked my account and bam card fraud". I was just shoked at that coincidence. I then gave additional details, I have a locked mailbox, no one has access to the key besides me. I only live with my girlfriend of 7 years, no way she would do this. I rarely have friends over. I was in Nevada, transactions were happening in California. I never activated the card, I never saw the card.
During the investigation I asked the rep what else can I provide to help this case. I provided GPS history for the surrounding days showing I didn't leave my house even to go down the street to the mailbox. I provided ring footage showing entering/exiting for those days.
About a week later I get a notice saying the case has been closed and deemed not fraud. My heart tanked again. The concluding reasons were: the card activated from my phone number, my SSN was required, and I'm the only one who has access to the mailbox.
When I called to follow up the rep she continuously gave me the speel about how its common for loved ones to pull these things on us and "you should have a talk with your partner."
I asked what about phone spoofing? what about identity theft? what about the posibility someone else intercepted it? She said their systems are sophisticated enough to determine if the call was made on a spoofed number.
I asked what else could I provide to help the investigation, call history? She said yeah call history is fine as long as it comes unmodified from the provider. I downloaded it and sent my call history direct from my phone provider website. Surprise surprise no card activation calls came from my phone. I was confident this would wrap up the case.
Today I got a voicemail from the rep stating the call history is not useful since my phone number is not side by side the call history, additionally my whole story is "suspicious" (my heart tanked). Initially stating that I was watching card fraud videos really bit me in the ass. I filed police reports, I filed a ftc fraud report, I filed a report with cfpb and ncua, I even reported potential identity theft to SSN companies.
I feel like this whole thing has been horribly handled.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Strap in, this is a long one. Some backstory, my biological mother moved my older sister and I into a coworker's basement(soon to be stepmom) to save us from a very abusive situation involving my then stepfather. Because of this, my mother, sister and I have always had this view that my stepmom, no matter what she did, had saved us, and that was ultimately better than what we lived through before. A couple months after moving in my mother confessed that they had started dating and that she was a lesbian. Growing up with her, my family realized my stepmom was very narcissistic, materialistic, and manipulative, but it was always easier to sweep it under the rug and I won't get into anything that happened during my childhood here.
Cut to April of last year, I had just recently turned 25, and my mother calls me in the middle of the night. She told me that after 12 years of being together, she was leaving my stepmom and that she needed a place to stay until she figured out what she was doing. I told her to come sleep on my couch and we would figure it out in the morning. We stayed up and my mother told me why she left. Apparently she had fallen out of love years ago, and this was mainly due to financial stress. My mother had accrued over 100k in debt because of medical bills, multiple maxed out credit cards and poor decisions regarding rent-to-own furniture and dealership vehicles.
I honestly couldn't believe it, but I supported my mother and during the next week we moved their camper into my yard so she could live in it. I'm not ashamed to admit that I was overjoyed to house my mother, I love her, and her job kept her out on the road a lot so I hadn't been able to spend much time with her since I got pregnant back in 2019. My husband was equally happy because he wanted to finally get to know her and he never liked my stepmom.
During the three months she stayed with us my mother used me for emotional support because she was very depressed, and my stepmom was telling anyone who would listen to her that my mother actually cheated(she didn't) but that she still wanted to rekindle their relationship. My mother had an Internet friend that she would game with, but they were just friends until two months after the breakup. Then in June, my mother left our homestate to move across country to be with her new girlfriend and to get a fresh new start. I was and am still devastated. My mother is my rock, but she deserves the world and I want her to be happy, and if it's not here with me and my children and my sister then I wasn't going to fight her on it.
This is where things started to get messy between my stepmom and me. She would come over, mainly while my husband was away at work, and talk crap about my mother. My sister wasn't speaking with our mother, so my stepmom would try to get information out of me about what my mother was doing, how she was feeling, and about her new relationship. During this time, stepmom had lost a significant amount of weight and would stalk new girlfriend's Facebook and talk about how fat the new girlfriend was, stating, "your mom doesn't even like chubbier girls." Problematic, but I mainly tried to ignore her, and didn't make any defense because she's always been all bark and no bite. The new girlfriend would never hear about it from me so I let it lie.
Stepmom has always been a narcissist, so any conversation with her was all about how attractive women online were wanting to move her across country and take care of her, how she was so much better looking than new girlfriend, and that she was the better parent because she chose to stay for my sister and I when my mother didn't. She'd cut me off mid sentence when I was trying to talk about my kids, and would only listen to me after purposely riling me up about my mother leaving to get an emotional reaction out of me. This got old fast, but I kept talking to her because my sister and I still loved her.
I only began to resent her when an issue with my car came up last year. Back in 2020, I took over the payments on a car my stepmom was driving because I needed a new one and she wanted to get a new truck. Everything went fine with that for awhile, and after the last payment I forgot about it entirely. I never got the title for some reason and we never exchanged receipts or a bill of sale, but I didn't think it was a big deal because she was my parent(stupid I know, but hindsight is 20/20). Well anyway, I got a ticket for having no insurance and got my plates suspended for three months because this selfish woman was taking my money but wasn't paying the insurance and it lapsed. This turned into a bigger mess because my stepmom wouldn't answer her door or her phone when I made attempts to get the title for my car so I could drive my car legally once the suspension was over. I would've waited, but I was already forced to drive my husband's single-cab truck with two kids and we had another on the way. My car, that was rotting in our driveway, was the only vehicle big enough to transport all of my kids safely when my new baby arrived.
My stepmom would complain to my sister about me harassing her, and then send me some vague excuse via text about how she couldn't sign over the title. It was incredibly frustrating but there wasn't anything I could do but let her put insurance back on my car under her name. I thought I could just make it work until my mother returned home for the birth of my daughter, but again, this woman allowed the insurance to lapse due to non-payment. I panicked, so I contacted the insurance company myself and they let me put down my husband's debit card so I could continue paying for my car's insurance until I got things figured out. Unfortunately, they didn't inform me that they were charging me over $400 for her unpaid insurance payments for her truck, to settle the account. I've since been refunded, but at the time I was absolutely furious.
When my mother made it home, I had already given birth, and no one could get a hold of my stepmom. I tried calling her and when she didn't answer I left her a very nasty voicemail. I'd never spoken to her like that ever in my life, but I was so incredibly frustrated, I was stressed beyond belief and I snapped. I called her useless, I told her she was screwing up my life and had cost my husband so much money and she needed to deal with me. Hours later, she must have listened to my voicemail and sent me a text saying that my husband could go by her work and she would sign the title. She actually followed through for once in her life and was polite to my husband when he saw her. I was so relieved I cried when my husband handed me the title. I vowed to never speak to her again, and luckily, my stepmom hasn't tried to reach out since then and it's been over a month. She also hasn't been speaking to my sister, who she's always been closer to.
I've always wondered why she drew this out for as long as she did, and my mother thinks that she was punishing me for "picking a side" when I allowed my mother to live on my property after they split. I don't know, but now to the question. My sister was talking to a family friend, and this person said to her that she couldn't believe that I'd just abandon my stepmom because she's all alone and has no support system and she was such a huge part of our lives.
I do feel bad for her, but I am not going to be a pushover anymore. Anyone who disrespects me and doesn't want to put any effort into seeing my children has no place in my life. My kids deserve better, and I deserve better. But I'm only asking this because whenever I drive past her neighborhood I find myself worrying about her and am bothered by the fact that I don't know if she's okay. She helped raise me after a really horrible situation, but now that I'm an adult she's treated me like garbage. My sister agrees, but has stated that if she ever apologized to me she might reconsider having her in our lives. I told my husband if that ever happens he can't let me go back on my word, I truly am done with her and I don't want her to ever meet my daughter.
So AITA?
P.S. This is unrelated but my daughter is also named Charlotte, I already had the name picked out but I started watching your channel shortly after I found out I was pregnant and thought it was a cute coincidence. I love your videos and I hope my daughter grows up to be just as beautiful and funny as you are.

I'm going to keep this as brief as possible while still covering it, as there is a lot to cover involving about 15 people, and it's still all hitting the fan. Added the NSFW flair as some adult topics will be mentioned below, including potential SA and drug abuse.
During the fishing trip yesterday, I blocked Tricia on everything and reached out to people to say that Jay and I would be distancing ourselves from Tricia, why we were, and shared what "theory" Tricia had about them if there was one, along with any screenshots or evidence I had of Tricia talking about them. I also asked a few friends who might know if Tricia might be interested in Jay, as some people pointed out that that might have been a motivation for her to get between us.
Here's what's been dug up so far:

• Matt (the friend Tricia alleged was gay) confirmed, again, that he isn't gay. He shared a story about how he, his roommate, and Tricia had a get together at one point where they drank and smoked some weed. During the night, Tricia got handsy and tried getting together with Matt's roommate, who declined. When they sobered up the following morning, Tricia said that it should be fine because "men like that sort of thing". After that, Matt and his roommate weren't comfortable with her and effectively barred her from going to their place. Matt suspects this is the origin of the gay rumor, and he's chosen to step away from the social group to reevaluate some things. I didn't want to press him, so I left it there.
• Vince and Maria have gone dark. Maria believed that Tricia was the victim in all of this, and Vince was vague in his responses and seemed to be taking a more hands off approach, but they stopped responding when another friend sent a screenshot of Tricia alluding to them being swingers because they have a decorative pineapple on their kitchen counter. Neither of them have anyone blocked, but no one can get a response out of them, either.
• One friend got into an argument with his girlfriend after said girlfriend went through his phone because of the drama and found either texts or pics (I don't know which) that, according to her, prove that he's been sleeping with Tricia on and off. I heard this from his brother, who reached out after the girlfriend left a voicemail saying she's kicking the friend out, and the brother wanted to know what was going on. I'm not sure exactly what's happening there, as that friend has also gone dark, and none of us know the girlfriend very well/have her phone number.
• One friend came clean about her struggles with prescription pain meds after her mother lost her battle with cancer because Tricia had been trying to blackmail her into getting dirt on Matt, Jay, and Vince and was using the drug abuse as leverage. Admittedly, a lot of my attention got diverted after this came to light because that's a much bigger problem than my beef with Tricia. We are still working on creating a good way for people to be a support system for her moving forward, and that will be what we as a group will focus on from here on out.
• An old friend of Jay's dropped a nuke by revealing that Tricia tried blowing him in the bathroom during a "Friendsgiving Dinner" we had last year, only to turn around and try to blow a different guy in the bathroom after Chris turned her down.

Jay, some other friends, and I created a new Discord server for all of the friends coming out of this drama against Tricia, and so far, it's just been a lot of comparing dates, texts, and Discord DMs, but it looks like Tricia has been trying to either sleep with or break up every guy in the friend group, as well as either get rid of or get leverage on every girl friend in the group.
Either way, we have bigger fish to fry now. It's time to put this all behind us and help our friend who really needs it. Thank you all for your kind words and helpful advice, even the harsh stuff <3

I (M18) had a great relationship with a girl who I really thought would be the one I marry one day. She was year younger than me and I plan on attending college later this year and was really adamant about staying together through it all. That is until I learned about a bunch of secrets being hidden from me.
To start, I had went on a cruise midway through last year and met a nice girl who had I had hit it off really well with from the start. Given, she made it blatantly clear that she had a boyfriend and I respected that fully. TBH I had no intention of getting with her because of that and only wanted to enjoy a cruise within the friend group that we had developed. I had helped her with a college course she had been enrolled in because I was bored and we were about to go clubbing and I like to think of myself as a somewhat academic person so I opted to help with her assignment. I ended up doing the assignment for her and basically saved her from failing the class because it was due at 11:59 and I was the only one who could do it under a hour.
Anyways, we get off the cruise and I keep in contact with her afterwards. At this time me and her brother become basically bestfriends and play games together all the time. She ended up "ending" things with her boyfriend a few weeks later after the cruise and we became closer because of that. She invited me to a wedding with her family and I went. I had suggested playfully matching colors for outfits and she surprisingly agreed. I forgot to mention she lives about a 2 hour drive away from me so I WAS a little but of hassle getting there but it was worth the drive. After the wedding we become way closer and as the days nearing our start of the HS school year come things seem to be coming to a good spot. Until I dropped the question the day before school started. She ended up blocking me for the first 3 days of school due to she was "trying to give her ex another chance because he said he changed." I was hurt but I just accepted this was a talking stage for us and I just let it go. This ex is the root of my issues. He has abused her, allegedly SA her, and verbally degraded her to the point where she turned to self harm to punish herself because she was being gas lit into thinking she was the problem. He had been her first everything and she called it a trauma bond.
After the 3 days of being blocked she unblocked me and told me that she made a mistake with her ex and that he really wasn't going to change. I thought "oh wow I have a chance again" and took her back and reignited the flame we once had. Another 3 weeks go by of us talking and I finally make her my girlfriend and drive to see her. Once we had become official, I basically drove 2 hours every Saturday to go see her and take her on dates. I really wanted to treat her the way she deserved to be treated because her ex had mistreated her and her family had been in shambles (dad throws parties and neglects the kids and the mother is a mentally ill women who threatens to hurt herself). I knew the risks of a long distance relationship but to me, it was worth it. I learned what a wonderful person she was through the talking phases I had with her and the late nights where all we did was stay up and talk on the phone. She was my first everything and taught me a whole lot of thing that I never thought I'd learn from someone. Towards our 4 month of dating we started to become rocky and argue about things here and there. She was diagnosed with clinical depression from a young age so her mental health got a hold of her a lot making her become emotional and upset at me. We ended up breaking up due to that and she said she had to focus on her mental health. I was distraught but understanding and we stopped seeing each other. It sucked because I had asked her to homecoming a week prior and even had her parents approval to sleep in her room with her because they really had trusted me (a little sketchy now looking back but eh). Its a different type of expierience when you sleep skin to skin with someone you cherish.
Fast forward 2 months, she reaches back out to me to say that she wanted to be friends again. I was hesitant but agreed and ended up going wayyy to far and ending being convince to try the relationship again. We began dating again and everything was amazing. We spent christmas together and new years on a roof top sushi resturant that had been my favorite (i paid for a $400 meal that night). We were amazing up until February. Since we were long distance, we had each others location in case we needed to get in contact. She told me she was going out with her friends on valentines day for a Galentines since it was a tradition for her. I knew her friends and they confirmed that with me. I ended up tired and checked her location for fun to see her at a address i didn't recognize at around 7pm. I called her bestfriend and she had said that my girlfriend had left a hour ago to go home. my gfs house and her bsfs houses are not an hour apart. So I end up calling her multiple times and was sent to voicemail everytime. I was playing with her brother and he told me about the address and my heart sank. It was the ex's house. The bestfriend ended up telling me that they both went to his house to confront him because he had been begging to be friends again to JUST be friends and they went their to confront him. The bsfs ended up scolding him for mistreating my gf and to just forget about it because of how bad he had treated her, My gf later went back on her own time for an hour and a half to talk to him and tell him that they couldn't be friends. When she got home and called me, she told me she just got back from her bsfs house and lied to my face. When I confronted her she became really upset and cried saying she didn't know how to tell me and that it was really just to tell him no and that they couldn't be anything out of respect for me. I was upset and made that clear but then she turned it into a "trauma bond" and how she had to talk because she felt bad. And then she brought up her depression and such and mental health and how she felt like everyone hated her. I calmed her down but then went to bed because I felt dissmissed and the whole situation still not being clarified. I forgave her and she ended up driving up to see me to celebrate a late valentines day with me. Everything was okay from there on out, with the occasional argument about the whole valentines day thing again, and we were somewhat steady.
Then my birthday came around. The big 18. I took a shift on my birthday because it landed on a friday and I had wanted to celebrate my birthday the next day with my gf. After I got off work I called my gf to tell her about my day and then when she picked up it was pitch dark. She had been crying because one of her friends had brought up her ex to her and she got triggered with trauma from him and cried. Her parents ended up yelling at her for crying and told her to cut it out because it bothered everyone in the house but that only made it worse. She ended up leaving and drove to a random parking lot. Police were called and she ended up getting baker acted because there were signs of harm on her arms. This is when I had logged into her socials to see what exactly had been the issue and found that there was a DM from a friend and it said, "does your boyfriend know that youve been playing games with youre ex." She had said no and that her and her ex were no longer talking at all. I snoop around a little bit more and uncover the entire truth. She had been contacting him ever since valentines day and they had been hanging out behind my back and talking to each other. The ex still called her baby and princess and she didnt saying anything about it. They had skipped school together and even kissed in the car (my gf would later say this was forced and she couldnt say no and had cried when it happened). And when I found out that she had decided to go on a date on my birthday with him i lost it. When she called me from the ward phone that night I flipped out. I asked her why she had been cheating on me and she said she didnt know and that it was a big mistake. She didnt know how to tell me about it and cried to me. i couldnt handle it and blocked her while she was in the mental hospital still. I was so hurt and destroyed that I didnt come out of my room for days. Her brother helped me get videos and screenshots of the messages between the two. When she was discharged she had decided to have the brother convince me to unblock her and talk to her again abt it all. I listened. I was told that it was a mistake and that she didn't know what to do because she really felt bad for him since he had no friends. She told me that she regrets it and only wants me and our future together. I told her that it was over but we could still be friends and work past it possibly.
After that, we had slowly began fixing things and working together, but still arguing a lot. She said I love you on multiple occasions and even kissed me. I felt gross. She became upset at me when I didn't reciprocate back and told me that I was confusing her. I honestly didnt know what i wanted because one side of me wanted to go back to being her boyfriend, the other half wanted to be her ex because she cheated. A week ago we had a really bad arguement and she threatened to hurt herself and even threatened to end her self because she had been struggling with mental health for so long and that if I didnt have a future with her then she didnt see a future at all. The argurment had been about why i didnt reciprocate back and what i wanted which ended awfully. She had expected me to treat her like her boyfriend again and comfort her when she was really struggling which I did, but no in the way that I used to and more like a friend would. I couldnt bring myself to do it and call her baby and calm her down. After her threats and her constant berating of me I had enough. I said that I couldn't work past all of this and that she had cheated on me for weeks and that this pain wouldnt go away with the way we've been going. I said my goodbyes and she begged me to stay and that she would change but I couldn't handle it anymore. She even had her mother crying to me begging me because she loved me and my gf so much and only wanted to see us together. I couldn't. I blocked her on all socials and her number blocked to. She had posted about me not treating her correctly and it made me feel bad and almost unblock her and try again but I stopped myself. I can't lie. I did fight and I didnt treat her the best after I found out, but by no means did I abuse her or go as far to make her feel small and a burden around me. I only ever tried to communicate with her and work on the future we had promised each other to end. But in the end, I couldn't keep my promise of staying forever and making the future we had promised each other become a reality.
AITA?

I (31F) have been in an on and off relationship for 3 years now and the arguments have been getting worse every time. I initially tried breaking things off by changing my number almost a month ago because we had been arguing for almost 2 months (hadn't seen the guy during that time) but I found myself at his (36M) doorstep less than a week after changing my number to see if there was still hope.
Not going to lie, I was happy to be back in his arms. We were trying to have constructive conversations, and they seemed like they were getting there. Felt like he was starting to see the light, but then this past week we got into the same old argument.
It was my first time back in his apartment...I was nervous because I have been kicked out 3 times, verbally/emotionally abused, my stuff has been thrown/damaged, all in all, all the trauma was coming back to me... I was already contemplating about staying the night or not because I didn't know if I was ready to do so or not. I even had to ask to use the bathroom. I opened up saying, "It feels weird..." His response, "yeah, it feels weird for me because you just walked by me when I greeted you. We haven't seen each other for a few days, and I didn't get a smile, or a kiss, or a hug from you." He said he was already tired from the long day and couldn't wait to see me, but felt undesired/unwanted because I didn't greet him with a kiss (and that he is always initiating intimacy). I opened up again reminding him that I am nervous right now... but he was still disappointed because I didn't go in for the hug... and he walked away to start dinner. In my mind, I was hoping he would have said, "I know you are nervous, but I am happy you are here. Come here."
I didn't want to argue. I could feel the tension and didn't know how to handle it. Tried talking, but it wasn't happening...Naturally, I went for my purse but still tried to talk. He saw that I was "running" and walked away... I followed trying to talk it out, said that I didn't want to argue. He reminded me that he already communicated to me what he needed from me, "a hug." But for some reason I couldn't...
And then the insults started again... He started to insult me, criticize me for not being affectionate, saying that it is so hard to communicate with me... I'm unreasonable. All all he wants is for his partner to be affectionate with him. I explained that I am trying to adjust to all these changes... the fact that he has been hanging out with his 2 female colleagues (one of which that has a crush on him). He responded saying he has been going through the same thing because I've been going to salsa classes without him and asked, "what's next? bachata?"
I shared, "Actually yes, I have been taking bachata classes too. I started when we stopped talking and went back for the first time this past week." And boy, did he blow up. Looked at me and yelled, "How could you keep that from me?!?! Knowing how I feel about you going to bachata and how uncomfortable it makes me feel! You even said you would hold off and take the classes with me!" I did promise him that, but I decided to go because we were off at the time. And I didn't want to tell him because I knew how he would react... jumping to conclusions thinking that I am grinding up other men (not even true). Instead of trying to talk with me and letting me remind him that I am in a beginner's class and that these classes are helping me boost my self confidence, he called me a liar and a deceiver. :/
And then things started to escalate. He started criticizing my family, said I don't know how to love, said that I am a liar, deceiver, that the woman he fell in love with is gone. That he can't trust me anymore...because I kept bachata from him. And then insulted me for giving my number out at one of the social events (even though we weren't together) and tried to make plans with this guy, but I ended up canceling because I ran over to my ex. And then called me a liar again because in February I said I wouldn't give my number out to men during these social events because I thought I wouldn't be in the right mindset to date... which was true at the time, but when the time came, I was trying to move on from him... And then said I was a liar because I wasn't upfront with him when he asked me if I changed my phone passcode. Eventually calling me broken and unhappy and that I can't be in a relationship, but that he is happy with all that he has accomplished...
I broke down and stooped to his level and yelled, "You aren't happy because you can't even be happy of the fact that your girlfriend is doing better than you!" I know that was a jab to his ego, but I couldn't take it anymore. He is always reminding me about the extra stipends, the bonuses he receives and made a comment, "I am making almost as much money as you are," making me feel that he isn't okay with me making more money...while always sharing how much his friend, mom, sister are making... 6 figures and all...
At the end of the day, he stormed at me and yelled, "GET THE F*** OUT," threw my work bag out the door, and grabbed me by the shoulders and shoved me out. I was in tears, tried talking again, but no... and as I was leaving that's when the texts started, "I HATE YOU! This has been nothing but a depressing, and soul sucking for me. And then you throw your salary in my face? At least I'm happy doing what I do. I hate you. Leave me alone."
But continued on until the night and the next morning. I called, why? I don't know... Tried to fix things, but he ended up calling me a liar again and again... ended up pulling the same move I did, changed his number. Only thing is, he called and left two voicemails saying, "I hate you. I will always and forever believe you are a liar. I hope you crash and die. F**** you. Have a good life and go ruin the next man's world..."
I know I should feel relieved, but all I feel is this need to talk to him and see him. The person I've been talking to for the past 3 years is now gone... Why do I feel this grief? I know I have set this expectation of me always coming back, but I am trying to stay strong...I know I can't go back now... But why do I keep running back to him?

OP is u/Runawaybrother
ORIGINAL (Nov 01, 2021)
UPDATE 1 (Nov 02, 2021)
UPDATE 2 (Nov 06, 2021)
UPDATE 3 (Dec 22, 2021)
I have 2 older brothers, this is about the middle one. Our parents divorced when I was very young due to our Mother’s insane jealousy. At first my Dad was able to handle it but when she started making comments about me wanting to be like his wife he had enough. She quickly rebounded with a guy with 2 kids and had shared custody for a while. But when my Dad got remarried she went crazy, calling his new wife every horrible name and claiming he was cheating on her while they were married. I was always closer to my brothers and Dad than my Mom because she was always very mean to me. Long story short, my Stepmom died in a bad car accident and my Dad called her in the middle of the night letting her know he would pick us up earlier so we could attend the funeral and she decided to take us on a fun trip to “celebrate“ something. It was the happiest we've ever seen her and when we realized what happened and started crying she told us only worthless people cry for wh***s.
Needless to say, things went nuclear and my Dad asked for full custody with visitation for her. He always left the line of communication open and paid for us to visit her when she moved away but it was still very bad and as soon as we turned 18 we started to lower contact with her. Last time we saw her was on my HS graduation where she made a point of letting everyone who would hear we were ungrateful kids and her HB would call us bad names too, been NC since then.
My brother Sam started dating his Ex 3 years ago, she has heard all the stories and the reasons we are NC but she believes we are just dramatic. They had many issues due to her opinions but she eventually seemed to drop the “you need to reconcile with your Mother“ crusade. During the wedding planning there was no indication of things going wrong or fishy, then we got to the church and lo and behold Mom, HB and 2 kids were sitting at front. I immediately panicked and called my brothers. Sam thought maybe somehow she found out and wanted to crash so he called his Ex to let her know of the potential drama but she told him it was fine since she invited them, Sam hung up and asked me to go get him while oldest brother dealt with things at the church. We went home and barricaded ourselves there even when his Ex, her family, friends, etc came to try and "make sense with him". Mom’s HB even called and said he always knew we were worthless. Now that the dust has settled most of Sam's friends are on his side and so is most of our family (Dad's).
Ex's parents already threatened to sue for the money they paid if he doesn't marry her but Sam says he rathers pay them back for their contribution than marry someone that betrayed him. My nuclear family 100% supports Sam but the backlash has been huge.
Edit: You guys just reassured us all, thank you.
Some have commented about it but no, she has not apologized, she even went so far as to text my oldest brother "Joe" that she thought it would be a good wedding present from my brother to her since she values family. My Dad bought them a house as a wedding present but only Sam is on the deed, she did have keys for when they moved there but they just had the locks changed today and Joe and some cousins are taking everything Sam owns from her flat during this week. We aren't worried about being sued but will consult a lawyer just in case.
We also heard Mom and her family are still in town but since we are all staying at our childhood home for a few days we don't care. My Dad is sad that Sam is heartbroken but is trying to cheer him up along with my boyfriend and my SIL. I had to delete/deactivate my SM because I kept getting nasty comments and messages but the more people learn the reason Sam runaway, the less it gets. I am still sorry she felt humiliated, but my brother comes first.
Edit 2:
We are 34, 32, and 28. ExSIL is 30. Not in the US.
I asked Joe about the church aftermath and it was just as I expected it. He says he stood up in front of everybody and told them Sam was not coming and to please go home and all their gifts delivered to our side of the family will be given back asap. The Ex was still outside the church when someone in her family informed her and she started screaming and crying and calling Sam nonstop. Mom tried to talk to joe that didn’t even look at her and when she couldn’t get a reaction out of him she started crying loudly and lamenting how horrible we are to her and some people started consoling her, this is her m.o. but Joe and his wife didn’t care. When they went out of the church the Ex was expecting them and demanding to see Sam but Joe said no, then she demanded to know what to do with the party and he said if she didn’t want the venue he would arrange for the food to be donated to the staff there so it wouldn’t go to waste. Everybody was screaming except Joe because he didn’t want to give Mom the satisfaction.
They (Joe+SIL) came home after stopping at the supermarket and some fast food joints and we have been inside like we are kids again, plus 2 more members. We asked Sam if he wanted them to go but he said he wanted them there. We had all taken time off to spend family time after the wedding anyway so it’s not a problem at the moment. When the Ex came to the gate we knew she was not going to use the venue so my SIL called them with Sam’s info, told them to take the food, and also sent them some tips for their trouble. It seems we will get back all the alcohol, that my Dad paid for, so we will have a very drunk end of the year.
A couple of people messaged me asking why did our Dad ever marry our Mom and the answer is he really loved her and believed she was the nicest person ever. Turns out she wasn’t but she knew nobody, except I guess her nasty husband, would marry her unless she pretended to be nice. He considered staying with her until we were adults but she kept getting worse, she used to get very nice and he thought she was changing and then she would change again. As per my ExSIL, we have no doubt that she believes Mom is a nice person that has ungrateful children because she is extremely charming and for some people is funny to make fun of others as long as it’s not directed at them but it still doesn’t excuse Ex.
The only person Sam gave an explanation was his boss who was at the church but he is very understanding and was pretty shocked of what Mom put us through since we are fairly adjusted happy people. Our Dad said that it was a shock for all of us and we can stay home as long as we need, Sam is moving home for the time being. I showed my family the post and they are moved by your niceness but Sam wants you all to KNOW Ex wasn’t showing any concerning behaviors and he truly believed she understood his upbringing.
He agreed to talk to her and her parents today but only if it’s at our home and we are there to support him so it’s going to be an interesting visit.
UPDATE 1
First some extra info:
*Sam lost some money but it’s not going to hurt him. Her parents paid for her dress, a very fancy cake, and part of the honeymoon.
*Ex wasn’t the most beloved in-law but we truly believed she loved Sam.
*We have no contact with Mom’s side, Joe used to have some with Grandma but after his wedding (another shit show avoided) he cut her off too.
*Mom’s comments about me wanting to be the wife came from her belief that it was not right for us to have Daddy-daughter days or outings, the thing is there were also Daddy-Joe days and Daddy-Sam days. He always tried to spend time with us alone and as a group. She is just sick.
*We don’t advertise our childhood so when people ask us about our parents the standard answer is “Just my Dad“or “it’s just my siblings and my Dad“. Most people assume Mom is dead and it helps avoid the whole inquiry about not talking to her.
*Mom’s stepkids are both male and in their early 30s.
*Dad has a long-term girlfriend and we like her a lot, she has been doing her own stuff these past few days but she says we have her full support.
Now the update.
I was wondering why Sam accepted the meeting after not even talking to her but turns out she sent videos and photos of all his things on the floor to his best friend “Tom“ and told him that Sam either talk to her or she would burn/destroy it all. Tom came to visit Sam, told him what happened and they informed her they need access to the flat before anything happens. Tom, Joe, a couple of cousins, and my BF went and took his clothes, electronics, important paperwork. Sam said he didn’t care about the rest and even made a little joke about them being the fastest moving crew he knew.
The meeting was, for lack of a better word, a ridiculous event. She came with her parents and sisters, tried to talk to Sam alone but when he didn’t allow it she just started talking. Not ONCE did she apologize, she said it’s not her fault we don’t understand the value of a real family and we were raised to hate mothers. That her only intention was for Sam to learn to value mothers because she was scared he would take her children away from her because that is what he was taught to do. Sam didn’t say anything until she threw the “this family is like a cult and you are a terrible father“ looking at my Dad.
As you may imagine, this is a sore spot for all of us and we don’t allow insults towards our Dad under any circumstance. Sam just unloaded about how she was a hateful liar, he was disgusted he ever touched even her hand, he was grateful to the universe that I am chronically early to everything, he told her staying with a cheating husband as her Mom does is nothing to be proud about, he said she pretended to be nice just so he would marry her, unloaded all the minor things that he was willing to overlook because he truly did love her or at least who he thought she was, he said he would never forgive her for the hurt she caused his siblings but he doesn’t hate her because that would require him to spend energy thinking about her and she doesn’t get that, at the end he said she had enough time to clear things and since she has acted like a victim he will be the one to let everybody know why he didn’t show. It was brutal but cathartic and necessary for Sam, her parents said nothing but were very red. She was crying.
Her sisters attempted to defend her and their parents‘ relationship and were kind of expecting my whole family to argue too but we didn’t. Then Sam told his ExFIL he could sue if he wanted but if he did Sam would expose all his family’s dirty laundry to the world and he doubts he wants that. Amazingly, the Dad still argued Sam could try and make amends and marry his Ex because “they are not getting any younger“ and all families fight, I’ve never rolled my eyes harder. The rest of the meeting went about logistics for the return of the wedding gifts already received, stopping the harassment from their family, the cancellation and refund of the honeymoon, the changing of the locks. Ex just kept crying and trying to talk to Sam but he was in business mode and didn’t want anything from her, he only replied to her directly when she said she was keeping her engagement ring with “nobody asked for it“. They left without issues.
When the booze was delivered Mom and Husband sneaked through the gate when we opened it, she said she just wanted to talk to her babiiiiies and my Dad asked her to leave. She kept screaming he raised us wrong and we just embarrassed her with our behavior, she couldn’t believe we were such bad people and we should start making amends with her because we clearly lack maternal love (she got that right) and this was the pathetic result. At that point Joe went out and told her to leave since the police were on their way, she took it as an opportunity to cry since it’s the first time in about a decade he talked to her and tried to sweet-talk him into going to grab dinner with her and her husband, but Joe just told her to leave and the only news he ever wanted to hear related to her were the ones about her funeral so he could go celebrate. Cue hysterical crying and screaming from the husband demanding an apology and threatening to hit Joe. Dad and Joe went back inside and left them there until we saw they left and closed the gate. It is hard for some people to understand why we react like we do, but the things I wrote about our Mother are just like the tip of the iceberg. Dad wasn’t exactly proud of what Joe said but he understood he needed to let it out and he was speaking for all of us. Maybe that makes us bad people, but we truly don’t want to see this woman ever again.
We are all going to have some family therapy besides our individual ones, Sam doesn’t want the house anymore but my Dad says to take it slow and the first step is to mend his heart. We have had horror movies marathons and some Disney classics sprinkled here and there. We also had a drama bingo thing going on of all the things that could possibly happen because I guess we are truly dramatic after all, we love each other and were raised to treat people well but we can be petty when pushed. I also feel better knowing she humiliated herself and while I wouldn’t wish to be left at the church to anybody, I would do it again because I love my brother more than I feel bad for her. We will be going on a family trip eventually but right now we will continue our staycation.
To the person that said Joe is a hero: his siblings couldn’t ask for a better brother and friend.
We‘ve read everything so far. Thank you for letting me vent, the awards, the Pms, I am sorry if my English was not up to the standards, Joe and Sam names are obviously fake but……..
Daniela, GO FUCK YOURSELF.
Little note: My brothers are reading your messages and comments, they want you to know we know how lucky we are. They appreciate the positivity, want you to know it gets better (those in the same boat), and you are all welcome to our "cult".
UPDATE 2
First more clarifications:
*If you want to PM is fine, even if it is to insult us, please know I will only answer in public form.
*Joe wasn’t parentified (to the person who wrote me a mean essay about it, here is the answer). My brothers spent time with me because they wanted to, we had special days together or with each other. They did all the activities they wanted, had many friends, went on trips with me or alone, etc. There were nannies, family, my Dad. They were never forced to take me with them against their will, they had a lot of freedom within reason. My parents divorced when I was 3, and even if there was shared custody we stayed 90% with Dad and we never went visit our Mother unless we were in at least pairs. The only times Joe or Sam visited her after turning 18 was when I was requested to visit because they didn’t want me to go alone.
*We have all been in therapy for a very long time. We are just having special sessions because we saw our Mother but Joe is the only one that interacted with her. ALSO, please know we (Sam+I) know how to defend ourselves and didn’t ask Joe to confront her, he did it by himself. Why didn’t my Dad go to the church with Joe? Because he was asked by Sam to go home, we didn’t think he needed to see that woman even if he had to talk to her after.
*Sam has cried, he is not a monster! He is heartbroken, thought he would spend the rest of his life with Daniela, thought he was a good judge of character, thought he didn’t have to see our Mother ever again. There are many emotions going on but because of our upbringing we are very good at keeping our emotions at check in front of people we don’t trust or like. It was a survival skill we developed to deal with how we were treated.
*Joe had a relationship with Grandma but stopped talking to her after she invited Mother as her plus one. There was no religious ceremony, the venue had security and there was a No Entry List. He sent Grandma a letter and didn’t talk to her again, we also didn’t attend her Funeral.
*The wedding was about 250 guests, when making the wedding list and sitting charts she used other names which is how we didn’t know about it.
*Daniela is not Brazilian.
*My Dad requested that I inform you all that his kids are not alcoholics, he is worried people think that even if this is anonymous. LOL
Anyway, this week has been really chaotic. Those who said to be prepared for the pregnancy tactic were incredibly accurate. She posted it online, people were freaking out again and calling Sam asking him if it was true. Sam called her and asked that she deleted it, she continued claiming she was pregnant, he asked her to delete it and to come talk about it. She deleted it, met up with Sam and somehow this crazy woman thought he wanted her back. I went with Sam, she was very happy until she saw me enter the place. She started crying, holding her stomach and when Sam asked her if she really was pregnant she said yes and told him she didn’t want her child to be from a broken family. Sam told her they were going to the doctor immediately to know for sure and she cried even more, screaming he didn’t trust her. Long story short, she isn’t pregnant. BUT she posted Sam was forcing her to have an abortion and she was devastated. As you may imagine, this was a horrible thing to say, people were calling Sam because they are so whiplashed from the drama they don’t know what to believe anymore.
When my SIL “Ana“ found out about the posts and the meet she called Daniela. I am unsure what was said in that conversation but I also never saw Ana this angry. The posts are down, but Ana wrote an email with all relevant information including that Daniela was never pregnant and sent it to everybody in the wedding list. This morning we heard Daniela had a breakdown after leaving voicemails telling Sam if she couldn’t be with him she wanted to die. This is another tactic straight out of our Mother’s playbook and Sam simply called the police and told them what happened. Her family forced her into therapy and she is in observation right now. It brings us no pleasure that it came to this, but we don’t want to get involved anymore. We are also changing our numbers, already requested it.
Our Mother emailed Ana threatening to sue her for defamation regarding the email blast but we are not worried about it either. Ana’s parents are amazing and they have made it perfectly clear they are on our side and 100% agree with the way she handled things. Joe was enraged but Ana convinced him to let it go and simply move on. Mother’s husband has been a peach as usual, Dad is considering a restraining order but they are not great in our country.
We did have a get together at home yesterday and it was a lot of fun. There was Karaoke, dancing, nice food and drinks, games, and bouncy house because why not (We love them). Most people avoided the topic of the wedding and the posts but those who brought them up did tactfully. Dad had already given away a lot of the alcohol to his employees, they got to choose what they wanted and got a bottle each. He is also adding bottles into his Christmas baskets this year.
We are going to spend the holidays together and traveling. I told Sam about the new paint for the house but he just doesn’t want to live there, he will rent it. I made a joke about me simply eloping or not having a proper wedding to avoid drama and Joe told me in no uncertain terms I get the biggest party ever if I choose to. So yeah, he is still the best.
Thank you for your nice comments and messages (not thanking the mean ones), the awards, and the interest. Sorry to the nice Danielas out there, the fuck you wasn’t for you.
UPDATE 3
Thank you for all your interest, you are very nice and is always a blast logging in and update you on our Cult.
First some points:
*Hi best sub and youtube, you’re part of the family lore now.
*I do read every single comment, message, etc.
*Some commented I particularly lacked a feminine figure in my life but I had my Grandma, Aunts, etc. My Dad’s girlfriend "Rita" is not a mother figure and I don't feel I am a bad woman because of it. When I had my period and told my Dad he had a whole thing prepared, then he informed my brothers and each had a whole thing prepared themselves, they each had their own approach and the others didn’t know about it. Long story short, I had 3 men taking care of it and doing even a presentation about it. It might sound super awkward for me but was even more awkward for them. It is a hilarious story and reminds me how much they thought about me all the time.
*Rita is amazing and we love her, but she has no problem not being married to my Dad. My Dad doesn’t want to get married again, if he did we would support him.
*Daniela is OK. Her sisters tried to make a huge drama and accuse us of being horrible but after the email sent by Ana nobody is buying it. One of them was also dumped by her boyfriend because he didn’t want to be related to a toxic family.
*I will not disclose where we live or what our Dad does for a living so please don’t ask about it again.
*We have new numbers, new SM handles, and are planning to move (Joe+I).
*Also, I do have a little note with the fake-real names relation and do type my posts in word. It‘s mainly so I don’t mess up my ramblings.
*My Dad wants you all to know your applications to the Cult have been accepted.
Anyway, I checked the last update and I can’t believe it was only in early November! I have mainly good updates for you.
Sam is doing well, he is taking time off work, his boss is very understanding about him needing time and told him he can always come back there. He is still living with Dad and has savings so he is not worried about that aspect. He is running now and has decided to run a marathon next year. He is more and more his goofy self and is doing renovations at home or in other words, Dad and Sam are trying to paint some rooms and do murals. It is hilarious and they have a lot of fun. Daniela wrote him a letter but he sent it back. The house was put on the market as a rental and he is ok with it.
I am engaged! It turns out it has been months in the making and when I made the joke about eloping my future husband "Matt" panicked I discovered the plan. He spoke with Sam (who already knew of tha plans) because he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable but Sam said it would actually make him uncomfortable if he didn‘t. He also spoke with Joe and my Dad, my Dad made him sweat when he asked for my hand saying it was not his to give but they say it was all in good fun. It happened earlier this month, I am very excited but not as much as my Dad. He says he wants to walk me down even if it is a civil wedding. While my news are amazing I believe the other big news around are better.
Joe and Ana have been on the adoption list for a while and as of a couple weeks ago Habemus BABY! She is the most beautiful sweet best baby ever. The adoption is final as it usually is in our country for new born or almost new born babies. We knew they wanted to adopt for a while so when they told us about the baby being officially theirs it was a lot of crying, but happy crying. Dad is in full Grandpa mode and even as bad as some things got this year this is the best thing that happened to our family is years.
Mom did learn about the baby and demanded an introduction. She has been served our version of an order of protection, she is never putting her eyes on her if we can help it. (Those are the bad news). Due to the new Covid we decided to stay home, now with the new addition we wouldn’t travel of course. We had a Christmas/WelcomeBaby/BabyShoweEngagement small gathering last weekend which Joe and niece didn’t attend since she is too young but they were there via zoom. We all agreed to give Sam some goof gifts such as t-shirts, mugs, sweatshirts, etc of Julia Roberts, since you know he is the runaway bride of the family.
The reason Joe and I are considering moving is that we live in flats at the moment and we want to live in houses. We are still shaken up and we know we have work to do but we know we have so much and we want to focus on that because the negative is in the minority. And no matter what happens I am always grateful for my family.
I believe this will be the last update folks, I know the last ones have been mainly drama free, and might not be as exciting, but we aim for that. Not planning on deleting anything, the account will be here in case something worth updating happens. I wish you all the best end of year and an amazing 2022.