Everyone knows that being extra scared of everything is a personality type. You get women who walk about at night with torches, knives and pepper spray and those that don’t and both get home safely. I’m wondering if #MeToo post 2018 has heightened tensions enough that complaining about being looked at or complimented without permission is now a career choice. In the old days it was “Don’t get any ideas now” which said more about who was saying it then who they were saying it to. So I’m guessing the women who feel violated 24/7 are telling us they’re either WISWIGs* or are suppressing a personality trait they don’t want anyone to see. And I know that people experience abuse all the time and it reflects in their personality but young people are also looking for a fight and if they don’t like the look of someone, they could be anything. But not everyone does this you can walk past a different group of people everyday and experience very varied results.
I’ve also noticed that Women seem to devote more time to men either negative or positive then vice versa which tells me that Men have a one track mind Women have a one track life
MeToo turned a bunch of chancers with no imagination a license to act how they want. And it’s always what’s in the news or online. Sometimes it’s Narcissist or Sociopath which the Daily Mail or TikTokers use a lot or somebody is always leering at them or following them which happens too but now it occupies their whole life and in turn makes everyone else paranoid and keeps people indoors and if you stay indoors watch TV and do nothing all day of course your going to be nervous when you leave the house.
People who are extra paranoid or scared is just who they are. It’s their way of making an impression and as recent times have taught us if you can regulate people’s moods and how they feel what you actually say doesn’t matter and I know Feminism works this way too, it’s just noise, but if it makes people feel bad then the jobs done.
It’s a game of two haves between Men and Woman and I’ve also wondered what happens to the women who think everyone is a homosexual and stand on street corners shouting this too. Both are low level criminals but not enough to warrant prison and they’re frustrated as well so I guess they spend it sentenced to housewifery and sellotaped to a husband who instead of facing an argument they look at the side of his head for support.

I am currently on a little fitness journey. Eating healthy, working out, trying to get the nice elevens that women get, ect. I am just struggling with eating and exercising. I mainly use the app lifesum. I found it a few years ago and have been on and off and it is the one I am most familiar with. I am about 2 weeks into my calorie counting, exercising, making sure I drink water. But there is not much of a change. I am currently 105.4 lbs and it's weird the heaviest I have been. I'm usually 100 lbs and it's just been like that. The extra is probably the daily McDonald's hotcakes I get lol. I'm not looking to lose weight or anything. What I am trying to focus on is gaining muscle, consistency and finding my abs. I'm still skinny but I would like to be skinny and healthy.
Here is what I have been doing so please give advice on how to change this for the better.
First two weeks: 1400 calories (had the goal set to weight loss because I thought that would help the body fat?). Did a quick 14 minute workout before work (simple full body or popular ab workout). At work I burn around 700 calories there alone, at least that is what my watch says (dog groomer. So on my feet all day, washing, lifting, cleaning). Then come home to get on the treadmill for 20 to 30 minutes depending on how tired I am (calories burned differ since I just pick a random playlist and run depending on the best of the song). My weight didn't really change. I would be slightly lighter in the morning, back to 105 in the afternoon, and by the end of the week still 105 and body fat the same (bought a measuring tape and came with a body fat calibrator. If I did it right I am currently 10% body fat. If I didn't then disregard.)
Eating habits: try to be healthy but not too restrictive. Tried to eat as much things with protein and try to keep fat low but struggled sometimes. No real food plan but did buy fruits and vegetables and have been eating them a lot. Over night oats. Sandwiches with wheat bread because delicious. Drinking water. Haven't really been having snacks, just didn't want them. Found out I like tofu so that is a plus. Bought some protein powder to help in case I don't think I've had enough. Don't like smoothies much but made some nice ice cream. Two cheat days where I got McDonald's.
I just have the normal questions:
Is 1400 enough calories? Am I burning enough calories or should I try for more? Do I need to work out more? Any nice apps for workouts/fitness? Any better foods I should try?

Astral projection tutorial: A-lot of terminology I use will make sense as you go along.
I have read several books on astral projection and skimmed through dozens for actual techniques. And scoured reddit and user reports. This is going to be somewhat a culmination of the data i have found to be helpful myself and recommend.
So one large problem with astral projection is you usually (except for a specific skillset) have to be asleep for it to happen. Or at least teetering very close to sleep. The way this is usually achieved is by people trying to learn meditation by getting in a comfortable position when they have free time and the energy to try this.
Then they try to focus on breathing or doing energy body stimulation (will be described how to later) basically the ability to create the vibrations. Till after 30 minutes or a hour if they are lucky they start to feel the vibrations and use a exit technique. (Will be covered) Then the exit technique can work, and then it goes to tips on what to do in the astral. But i probably won’t cover that in this text.
Yup. That’s it. Fall asleep, use a exit technique, walk or fly around the area you come out at. Sounds pretty simple when stripped to its barest parts… the problem is there are pitfalls where people get stuck not being able to to something. Weather they find it hard to fall asleep and can’t start the exit technique, or they get asleep and notice it and try to project and either nothing happens, or they get to excited or scared depending on the exit symptoms
(TIP 1) if you get to the exit phase you can experience very trippy psychedelic experiences. You can hallucinate smells, sounds, words, visions, shocks, vibrations, a heartbeat that goes incredibly fast, (not your actual heart) some mixture of all these… it can be a intense entry fee. And if you’re not mentally prepared by imagining these things happening you could get scared and think you are dying. Also some psychedelic experiences can prepare you for it.
(semi common for people who haven’t done psychedelics or had a near death experience and know what actually dying feels like) my first experience trying to project, I felt shocks in my face, with the shocks i saw strobe light flashes, i felt vibrations all over, i heard buzzing, my heart felt like it started to gradually increase to the speed of almost vibration… it was pretty intense, and as i felt myself starting to float up I thought for sure i was dying… so I stopped the exit.
After this, i built a block in my head with something in me saying “not ready for this experience yet” and alot of people believe this is the gatekeeper of the astral realm just making sure you are prepared for the wild ride that could happen. So hopefully you will imagine these experiences and prepare yourself mentally for them and not be scared like i was. And build a mindset of saying “heck yeah throw whatever psychedelic experience you want at me I’m ready and not afraid.”
Sorry to make a long part of this about the exit symptoms, and I in no way want to scare anyone away from this experience. But i do want you to be mentally prepared for possible obstacles and know that there is nothing to fear. Nobody is on record dying from astral projection from anything i have read was aware of. So that’s one pitfall covered.
The next will be the problem of feeling like you projected but you fall asleep or “nothing happens” first off,
(TIP 2) keep your first 3 or so trips really short. I follow and believe Robert Bruce’s advice here. Once you get out, scream I projected!! And if that doesn’t wake you up itself try finding your body and jumping in, or closing and opening your eyes, or falling backwards and closing your eyes then moving to get up, one of these should work. If not i don’t really know what else to say besides enjoy the trip and try to keep it as memorable as possible by dancing or something. So “trip short” covers staying too long and falling asleep, and even if you do fall asleep, here comes the next tip,
(TIP 3) learn to remember your dreams. I cannot stress enough the importance of this. If you don’t remember your dreams, you are unlikely to remember your projections. It’s like tying a worm to a fishing line and throwing it out there with no hook. Something might happen, but you can’t bring it back. The way to start remembering your dreams is to first start having more vivid dreams, which can easily be achieved by “oneirogens” drugs or herbs that can improve dreams. My favorite for this is the non wake psychoactive (won’t effect you while awake) herb Silene Capensis.
I love this stuff. It is a root that you can grind in a coffee grinder and measure out .5g or one gram of the herb by weight, and put in a tea bag or filter and put in boiling hot water and steep till warm or luke warm and then drink before bed. This specific herb usually has to be taken for several days before effects start to kick in. Then you should be having more memories and more vivid dreams. Which hugely effect astral projection probability by itself not including the tip after the next.
(TIP 4) is DREAM JOURNAL! get a app or notepad you already have or whatever and write any memory you can when you’re first starting out. As much detail as possible. The easiest way to trigger a memory is to think of common themes in your life or dreams if you remember some of them already is to think of the things you commonly dream about. Once you hit this groove on the record that is your memory there should be a notch there of the most recent memory related to that thing. Snow, your siblings, your spouse, your dog, your job, whatever you dream about. Then once you think of the thing that happened in your last few dreams it can trigger a memory of that dream. Then that can open up to more parts of that dream being remembered. As soon as you pull a piece to memory write it down and keep thinking. Start the dream journal while you’re waiting on your herb to come in.
(TIP 5) Once you have your dream journal for the day, in the middle of the day set a alarm to look at the dream journal and remember the dream or dreams you had. Doing this while more awake will build the gap between asleep memories and awake memories. Keep doing this. Once you remember more clearly only write a few key details at first, (saw friend, saw dog) then after the middle of the day alarm you set use these tips to try to remember the rest of what happened in the dream. Keep doing this consistently with the Silene Capensis (African dream root) I get mine from etsy. And you should be having vivid dreams that you remember in a couple weeks. Then you may start remembering two or three dreams when you wake up. Or more depending on how long you can sleep. That is the memory part.
(TIP 6) learn to lucid dream, then enter a projection from that lucid dream. So doing this method skips right over having to meditate to the point of projecting. Once you learn to lucid dream, all you have to do is fall backwards while closing your eyes in the dream. Then once you start to hit the ground and go black you should feel yourself float down some. This part can very on exactly what happened. Sometimes there’s no gravity and you have to try again or find something heavy to fall with, sometimes your whole perception view changes to third person like a video game and it’s harder to navigate, etc… but anyway, once you are in this point of asleep and fell backwards into darkness, you are in the mind awake body asleep stage in your body. This point comes with the problem of being really easy to be woken up, which is why you need to quickly start building vibrations, or do the rope technique. The ability to build the trigger of knowing the right thing to do goes into tip 7.
(TIP 7) how to start a lucid dream from a dream, learn to fall in the dream on command, learn to do projection techniques once you fall into the darkness, learn to do what you want to pre plan your projection to be, (usually for the first 4 times or at least 2 just short trips of getting out, then shouting I DID IT! then hopping back in. Which is “🌈imagination🌈” you take time throughout your day to do “reality checks” this is a lucid dreaming term that means to test if you are in awake or dream state. So every time you walk through a door is a good trigger, or set a bunch of alarms, or put your phone/smartwatch screen to say “am i dreaming?” Then you test if you are in a dream. Some people cover their nose and try to blow through. If they can then they’re in a dream. Or look at a watch and if it says anything but the right thing you’re in a dream. So you see your reminder or walk into a new room then test if you’re in a dream.
Then you “imagine” if the answer was yes. Then you “imagine” (please don’t fall backwards in reality….) falling backwards and closing your eyes. Once you get this pattern memorized your natural reaction once you realize you’re in a dream you will be to fall backwards. You build a muscle memory. Like when your arm knows what to do to shoot a basketball from a specific place. That place is when you’re in a dream. Then to not spend too much time daydreaming every time you walk through a door you can save the rest of the imagination for when you have a little more free time.
Then you imagine ““I’m in a dream” falling backwards, closing eyes, then imagine the first exit technique you want to use. I would recommend energy body stimulation. Then once you’re vibrating imagine floating up. Imagine bubbles coming from underneath you and lifting you away, or if that doesn’t work the rope technique. Then imagine the astral symptom’s happening. Take a second to imagine each possible symptom. Vibrating, flashing lights, “heart” pounding, etc… then imagine getting out of your body, then imagine shouting “eureka” or I projected!” Or whatever. Then open your eyes and go about the rest of your day till the next time.
If it helps right out your roadmap then rehearse each one in order. (“In dream”, fall back and close eyes, projection technique(‘s), out of body, scream, eyes open.) do this several times a day every day till you don’t have to look at the note or even think of the next thing to do, just “see” it happening in your imagination. See is used lightly for however you experience imaginations.
(TIP 8) Also i have to mention “flow state” and if you have a free day just spend the day looking at nature or whatever, and be 100% in the moment. Don’t think of something else, just perceive every crackle every bird chirp, every smell, (maybe carry something good smelling in a bag) taste something like a healthy apple washed, or something low calorie or your meal, combine as many senses as possible and be fully aware of all of these senses. Be fully aware of the moment and think nothing else but “am i in a dream” and look around and think about if you are.
Be present in the moment as a all day, or long session of a continuous reality check. Your probable best chance storm of the right things pulled together is, do whatever to have vivid dreams, set a alarm for 6 hours, (if you sleep less than 7.5 hours, than do whatever is 1.5 hours before you are supposed to wake up. Then wake up and do the “flow state” of constantly thinking about if you are awake, and chew on something that won’t leave a strong taste in your mouth but that you can clearly taste, then smell something, like a herb bag. Something calming. And look at something pretty, and feel something with your hands, focus on as many of these as you can while being in the state of (“am I dreaming?”)
then after 10 minutes of doing that, (write your dreams down as soon as you wake then do the “flow state” for 10 minutes) go back to sleep, and hope for a lucid dream. Then the rest should take over.
(TIP 9) this is the energy body stimulation method. hold your hand palm up, then start to brush over your hand with the tips of your fingers. Start with hard ish scratches so you can really feel it and swipe back and forth about a second each swipe, then slowly start to scratch more gently, try to notice and be aware as much as possible the feeling of your fingertips scratching your palm. If your palm is too ticklish, use the back of your hand, if that is, use from elbow to wrist. At a steady pace back and forth, really try to feel in the hand you’re not moving the feeling of it being scratched, try to follow along im your mind and kind of predict the feeling of it moving forward, then keep slowly lowering pressure till you are completely off your skin, then you are trying to continue to imagine this sweeping sensation on your non moving hand as the scratching hand hovers above it. Feel the sensation move up and down. This is energy body stimulation. And if you can do it well enough you should be able to trigger vibrations quite easily.
Work on making this sensation go all over your whole body. If you have to use your hand or a brush or something to get the feelings going till you can imagine it in that area. Sweep back and forth in your mind in your foot a little bit, then your shin then your knee to hip, then your hip to the other legs knee, down to the toes, then back to the hip, around the stomach, etc. throughout the whole body. Eventually it should start vibrating and you can build this till you start to float. Don’t stop till you float away. One method is to focus on a tiny area like a big toe, and do it till you feel vibrating.
Another way of creating the vibrations if you have a hard time with imagination, is to try to move a part of your body in the smallest possible distance known. You try to lift your pinky finger but without applying enough force to actually twitch a muscle. This sends focus to that part of your body and energy in turn. Then move the feeling from “lifting” your pinky to lifting your ring finger, again not actually using any muscles, but making a mental effort to move the muscle as small of an effort as possible. Just enough to feel the area, but not enough to move the muscles. This will stimulate the area and after enough practice and trance state cause the vibrations.
(TIP 10) THIS IS NOT A RECOMMENDATION…. But for informational purposes… when i use delta 9 thc edibles (merijuana active chemical) and try energy body stimulation it is almost instant and very easy. I do not recommend at all being high while you try to project because it could take from the real feeling of it and make it seem fake. But for myself I believe it’s a good practice for energy work just to build the vibrations and clear energies. I’d recommend during energy work learning about the chakras and stimulating each energy ball up your spine from your base to your crown. For a better explanation of this read Robert Bruce: “Astral dynamics” or “energy work” astral dynamics will also cover the rope method.
(TIP 11) “the rope method.” (TIP) Basically in my explanation you rub your hand on something resembling a rope. Preferably a rope, lol. and you start pulling gently with your hands so loose that the rope slides through your hands, keep doing this for a while at a steady speed. Then after a while let go of the rope and move your hands like they are going down the rope, this is your baseline for how to imagine this sensation, don’t move a muscle a inch, and imagine doing this same technique, feeling the rope sliding through your hands, till you actually start to feel your arms moving, once your astral arms are moving and you’re sure it’s your astral arms and you didn’t start moving your real arms, grab something near you. ( it will probably still be dark) and pull yourself away from your body gently. Then try to fly or keep pulling till you start to gain vision. And that is the rope technique basically.
(TIP 12) There is another method that is the ear ringing (often called tinnitus) method. Where you get it really quiet enough to not hear anything at all. Gun soundproofing muffs with cotton or earbuds on the inside so you hear absolutely nothing. Then you can start to hear a ringing noise. If you hear it just keep focusing on it till it gets so loud you start to experience projecting symptoms. I don’t recommend ear damage at all! But if you go to a loud concert then go home and meditate you should be able to hear it then. The temporary loss of hearing creates the tinnitus and you can use it.
(TIP 13) not sure if this works as i read it on reddit and haven’t tried it yet but it sounds reasonable. Start saying words that are unrelated to each other. So instead of couch then chair, or house then mansion, something like frog then chair then guitar. Apparently this can keep you conscious enough while also going deep enough into trance.
Well that’s about it for my hopefully helpful tips. Happy travels!

Review the events of the day, and list any situations/events that impacted you. Pick the situation(s) that had the most impact on you and answer all of the questions below for each situation.
(Use a new comment for each new situation that you want to introspect upon.)
​

1. What was the situation?
2. How did I react to the situation? (eg. Didn't go to bed to sleep at 10PM. Stayed up on reddit instead)
3. Why did I react this way? (eg. Poor self-control, addicted to reddit)
4. What was the outcome? (eg. felt groggy and tired throughout the day)
5. Is the situation positive or negative? (eg. negative)
6. Do I want to change it? (eg. YES)
7. How can I change it? (eg. Go to sleep on time)
8. What substitute can be utilized? (eg. Use tech in the morning instead of at night before bed; replace reddit at night with reading a book)
9. What are some ways of remembering when I am getting into this situation? (eg. Set phone alarm for sleep at 9:45PM. Turn off modem at 10PM)

Be honest. Be specific. Try to articulate why you felt that way.

I thought we would go legit. He thought we would too. He even divorced his wife. Like actually did it. But now he wants to date other women.
I fell in love. 6 months we were together. Not long, I suppose. But we saw marriage to each other. Kids. A whole future. I felt like my wildest dreams were going to come true. And I loved him. Still love him. I couldn’t believe someone like him even existed and that I’d found him and he wanted me too. I want his kid so badly it’s an ache. We were good together. But he felt guilty.
And then the breakup. It happened so quickly… within a couple days. Bliss, to terribleness. I could make excuses for him, and they would all be true and valid. But he’s not a perfect person and his weaknesses have definitely risen to the surface during this period after the breakup
Why are they so cold and angry toward us when we did nothing wrong? I didn’t harm him, I didn’t wrong him. He objectively wronged me and others. He likes me still, just can’t see a future with anyone anymore and wants to date around. He’s scared we won’t work and doesn’t want to try.
Grief is not linear. I remind myself of that today after bawling my eyes out 3 or 4 times. When I woke up. At lunch. In the shower. Probably in a few minutes. I just want to love and be loved. We had that. He never talked to me about any problems and I did everything right. And I know there isn’t really such a thing, except I’m a fucking amazing partner and I know it… and he’s confused about what he wants and doesn’t want my help anymore figuring anything out.
I want us to get back together. He’s said it’s possible, maybe, he doesn’t know, but he said that right at the breakup, and not in any of the aftermath where he’s been so angry toward me. He doesn’t want to talk to me. He doesn’t want to fix this. I’m leaving him alone to the point of detriment.

My name is (let’s use Zitra) and I want to know if I’m the A hole for wanting to sue my son’s father for child support. I met my son’s dad (Ken) I was 20 years old at my job. He approached me and asked for my number. Was hesitant at first but changed my mind and agreed. He called me 3 days later and asked me out and that was how we hit it off. I asked him if he was involved with anyone, or married, he said no. I was getting lots of gut feelings about him but he kept denying that he wasn’t cheating. I lost my job and he decided that I should not work and he will take care of me. Stupid me agreed and didn’t look for a job. He told me he was gonna pay my bills but didn’t to ghost me the day of! My roommate was kind and decided to help me pay while I looked for a job. I was always sick but didn’t know why. We were very sexually active so yea, you guessed right! I was pregnant! I reached out to him and he didn’t respond. I sent a picture of the pregnancy test and he called me. He was very apologetic and was talking about him being sick, nauseous and feeling weird for some reason but that we need to talk over lunch. I said cool but what about the situation I just brought up. He said he is not ready to be a father and that I should abort. I said I need to think about it. So I went to my roommate (Abi) and she told me to say yes I will abort but I actually wasn’t. Tell him that it will cost $1600 to pay for it but it will be for rent and some baby stuff. I agreed and told him that and he gave to me the next day. Paid for my Uber to get it done but I went there to get an official test so I could get WIC. He came asking for the paperwork later and I confessed and said I had cold feet. He got mad and told me that I had to choose between him or the baby and I chose my baby and he said “I wish you and your baby the best!” And left. Was depressed for days! 2 weeks later I get a notification on instagram that he is on IG. I click on it and behold what my eyes saw! His wife and two kids. Ken was married with two kids and never told me. I had to find out on social media! Btw I forgot to add this! We were engaged too! All that started to overwhelm me so I decided to move back in with my parents. I told them what happened and they told me that since he is married and refused to be in the child’s life , I should not breakup his marriage and leave him alone. So I haven’t heard from him ever since. Fast forward baby is about to be 2 and I was talking to my godsister and she persuaded me to press charges and sue him. Idk if I should go ahead with it but I’m leaning on the “go ahead and sue his ass” type of decision. So AITA for wanting to sue him?!

Everyone knows that being extra scared of everything is a personality type. You get women who walk about at night with torches, knives and pepper spray and those that don’t and both get home safely. I’m wondering if #MeToo post 2018 has heightened tensions that complaining about being looked at or complimented is now a career choice. In the old days it was “Don’t get any ideas now” which said more about who was saying it then who they were saying it to. So I’m guessing the women who feel violated 24/7 are telling us they’re either WISWIGs* or are suppressing a personality trait they don’t want anyone to see. And I know that people experience abuse all the time and it reflects in their personality but young people are also looking for a fight and if they don’t like the look of someone, they could be anything. But not everyone does this you can walk past a different group of people everyday and experience very varied results.
I’ve also noticed that Women seem to devote more time to men either negative or positive then vice versa which tells me that Men have a one track mind Women have a one track life
MeToo turned a bunch of chancers with no imagination a license to act how they want. And it’s always what’s in the news or online. Sometimes it’s Narcissist or Sociopath which the Daily Mail or TikTokers use a lot or somebody is always leering at them or following them which happens too but now it occupies their whole life and in turn makes everyone else paranoid and keeps people indoors and if you stay indoors watch TV and do nothing all day of course your going to be nervous when you leave the house.
People who are extra paranoid or scared is just who they are. It’s their way of making an impression and as recent times have taught us if you can regulate people’s moods and how they feel what you actually say doesn’t matter and I know Feminism works this way too, it’s just noise, but if it makes people feel bad then the jobs done.
It’s a game of two haves between Men and Woman and I’ve also wondered what happens to the women who think everyone is a homosexual and stand on street corners shouting this too. Both are low level criminals but not enough to warrant prison and they’re frustrated as well so I guess they spend it sentenced to housewifery and sellotaped to a husband who instead of facing an argument they look at the side of his head for support.

I was 14 when my dad took his own life. Now I am 26 and I am still in agony. I am mad at the world I am mad at him I will never understand why I wasn’t enough.
All I think about is what our relationship would be and what we would talk about and do together. I still just can’t even accept that he is gone and there is no redemption. He never had the chance to watch me grow or hear about my life I am so mad. And i know it’s always “not my fault” but every day I know that I could’ve changed his mind if he would’ve talked to me. He said nothing to me in the end , didn’t even say bye or leave a note for me. It’s like it still doesn’t feel real and that I will still get to talk to him I don’t think I will ever feel okay

Hi! I just wanted to share my thoughts about this because im not sure if i am overthinking everything 😂 So for context I started cleaning for this family when i was 21 years old and their first daughter was about 2 months. I was their house keeper for 1 year and they had another baby and they ask me if I could help them during the weekends with their kids because “they didn’t like any of the nannies that they’re interviewed cause they weren’t willing to clean while the kids were sleeping “ so I said yes. Here’s what i usually do during the day: I come at 10am and clean up their breakfast dishes then at 11am i feed the 17 month old her lunch. Then its playtime for 1 hour 15 min. At 12:30 she takes her nap till 2:30pm and while she naps i have to change their bed sheets and wash them. Sometimes if the kids uncles/grandma come i have to clean almost all the apartment and also when they leave i have to get back to the kids! Or they still there but i have to change their diapers/clothes even though im cleaning. Then I gave her snack and go out for a long walk or to the park. We go back so she can have her dinner at 5pm. Playtime again and then bathtime. When she’s all done is the time that they want to spend time with her so i can wash the dishes or bottles. As i said in another post they want me to go with them to a weekend wedding and the dad ask me if I could give them a affordable price since “its not going to be 24/7” keep in mind i have to share room with the kids. And they ask me if I was willing to go with them every weekend to their vacation home. I said yes but maybe 3 weekends and 1 off. And they said okay so if we are staying in the city you can come all weekends right? The cherry on top is that the main nanny(during weeks day) told me that they’re always saying “she’s (me) it’s not going to say no because she needs the money” keep in mind that for all this work they pay me 20$ per hour 10am to 7pm sometimes 10am to 9pm. PS: they haven’t told me yet how it’s going to be the schedule/pay during the weekends away in their vacation house. PS 2: i had emergency surgery (appendectomy) and the mom was expecting to go 1 week after my surgery 😂 PS 3: please tell me how to say noooo😭

Hey guys!!
So my story and the things that I am struggling with might sound familiar and I am looking for some advice. (25M)
Growing up I moved schools 2 times- once in second grade, and the other in forth grade when my parents got divorced. That last school is where I spent the last 8 years of my schooling and graduated. Fitting in was weird for me. A lot of the cool kids already had friends and I resorted to acting out to get attention. It was hard to deal with the divorce of my parents at 12 and having to make new friends and not feeling accepted.
I finally made some “friends” a few years later with the basketball players, I had classes with them and sat with them at lunch every day. But I would never get invited to birthday parties or hangouts. I could never figure out why. I spent the next few years trying to fit into that group by playing basketball. It never happened.
Dr. K talks a lot about trauma and emotional processing and I think these are a few of the points thinking back that make me over analyze how people look at me. To the point it is ruining my mental health.
Every time I say something in conversation, I am in my own head. I long for more friends that care about me and want to go out and socialize but need to binge drink to do so (and do). My hands always have a tremor around people and get clammy so handshakes suck. Women are terrifying. And this is all perpetrated by the social media age.
“Go to therapy” I did. After the process of being put on a wait list by my psychiatrist, I got scheduled an appointment with a doctor. He told me openly that he is an atheist in our second appointment which created a weird feeling towards him personally. And the thought of calling again and changing doctors is overwhelming to me. I’ll get rerouted 4 times and hopefully be able to talk to someone who can get me another waitlist spot.
I have felt this way for 3 years now and it is getting worse with the added stress of a 10-7 in mortgage sales. I don’t even want to exercise anymore. I’m beat

I’m doing a project for my psych class in school and I’m trying to do an experiment on myself examining how exercise can impact my mood and executive function.
I will be doing a week of baseline data collecting and then spend about another week or so implementing exercise and collecting the experimental data.
I got a pretty good idea for how to implement my independent variable, but not sure what’s the best way to measure my dependent variables without having confounding variables, especially for the executive function.
For mood, I was thinking I could do a self report from like 1-10 of my mood, but I feel like there could be a more objective way to measure such as a online test or something. Anyone got any examples?
For executive function, I was thinking I could do a stroop test each day or do a randomized set of 10 math problems and record my results. But I feel like all my ideas would be unreliable as I would just get better as the days pass if I’m doing similar tests everyday and I feel like I can’t have much change each time or else it would be not reliable and standardized. Really need help for measuring this.

Pardon the impending rant but I feel like this beats screaming into the void.
For some background I 21M and my PwBPD (24F) have been in a deteriorating relationship over the last 8 months. While the initial honeymoon phase (6 months) was wonderful everything swiftly turned miserable after she decided that she no longer needed her medication nor desired therapy since it “wasn’t her authentic self”
Since that moment and the subsequent dropping of the mask I have been stuck in a never ending cycle of provocation, blame shifting, and emotional labor. It’s gotten to a point where if I have any divergent opinion, or raise any personal boundaries I’m accused of being emotionally abusive since “I should just adopt and defend her perspective since I’m the BF”
She has slowly consumed more and more of my time and for months I spent between 5-6 nights a week with her which apparently still wasn’t enough. The pressure only further worsened as she began guilt tripping me for hanging out with my friends, a behavior that was soon replaced by anger for prioritizing anyone besides her.
She’s accused me of abuse for having any emotional boundaries and “wasting my time with other people instead of my gf”. I have been belittled, told I “love to victimize myself”, and I get accused of cheating due to the high crime of going to any social gathering that includes women.
Now I’ve tolerated all of this since she claimed she’s get back on her medication and back into therapy, however recently I uncovered that she was throwing away the former and refusing to attend the latter. But I just can’t do this shit anymore, I feel utterly drained, like a husk of myself.
I’ve tried to finalize the break up but each time I do she threatens to kill herself and name me as her primary reason in her note. I have no idea what to do, but I can’t stay in this relationship.
Addendum: This whole "partnership" has felt more like taking care of a spoiled child than an actual relationship. They've shown a total lack of empathy, self control, or accountability. Everything that goes wrong with her day has to be someone's fault, and she'll throw a tantrum fit for a toddler to prove it.

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So i moved in with my boyfriend in Nov last year. We’re in the city, I’m at sahm, i don’t really go anywhere by myself in general or with the baby bc the city just feels unsafe. He makes time out of work to get things done we need. Always on his time tho. I’m understanding abt his work. Well first 3 weeks I’m here I’m not really driving my car, and it’s parked on the street. Someone broke my window and tried to steal my car. Now i can’t drive it with a busted window in the cold with my baby. He never reinstated my insurance policy 2 months before i moved in(which i didn’t know abt) i asked abt insurance and he said “idk they just stopped taking the payment out” So it sits outside for a few more weeks before the city marks it as an abandoned car and says move the car or we’re towing. So we move it to the other side and take off the note. Well 8 days later they towed it. It was such a headache i had to deal with at impound. We went to court and city reimbursed us for the towing and impound fees. So it’s back home, battery is dead it needs replaced, as well as the window still lol. So atp it’s been 2 months since they broke into my car. It sits on the street for abt 2 more weeks before he finally says he’s gonna change the battery. We go to change it and ig you need some special tool to take a battery out of a kia forte. So i get in the car just to look and someone had come back and tried to steal it again. My whole ignition is tore out. So it’s sitting there for a couple more weeks, we’re going on 4 months it’s still not fixed. Do i leave him?? Is this as serious as i think it is. To me it’s the whole principle of the story. If it was your mom’s or sisters car would you let it sit this long like this??? I worked two jobs to get that car 3.5 years ago before i met him. And the ironic part of this is that we actually met at a gas station 2 years ago where someone stole my car and we had to exchange info bc he wanted to pay for some of the deductible for feeling partially responsible. We currently share a bank account where he puts half of his paycheck and I’m responsible to pay my bills but mind you, sometimes his bills come out of the same account and i have to CONSTANTLY remind him to put more money in so i can pay mine. And lately he’s been making me wait an extra week until pay day. My credit score is 10 points away from 700 and im going to be so crushed if it drops.
Our story actually gets more interesting as he is married in another country and he had a kid with me that his family has no idea abt. I didn’t know he was married until i told him i was pregnant. Am i better off alone? He takes care of us financially and then some and nothing bad to say except this shit here and idk if I’d be better off just going on my way as a single mother in this economy or sticking out his shit.

I believe everyone deserves a happy ending, and gods mercy is given by grace to even the worst of people. Everyone is capable of change given the right circumstances. That’s only because it happened to me, I was living in sin, I mean total sin like I was walking through the broad road that leads to destruction, and one night I took drugs and I saw myself die and judged by god, after I woke up I was horrified, I believed I was in hell and there was no way out that didn’t involve hurting myself. I didn’t change instantly after that I was filled with rage and anger the following days, I did those same drugs again and it put the fear of god into me, the stable reality that I knew was now gone. I turned towards god and even though I believed I was in hell and there was no hope for me, I joined a church, changed my ways, was baptized and did everything I could to be a good person despite thinking it was pointless and I’d still go to hell. I assumed and still kind of do that anyone given this grace would turn towards god rather than the devil but I’m starting to believe not everyone would do that, is this true? Is my hope for the salvation of all fruitless, given a situation like that would some people turn towards the devil and go back to their life of sin, even going so far as to serve the devil? Idk, I have a very closed mindset about other people and for the longest time truly do believe people are doing their best and have good intentions, but some people are capable of evil and fully open to doing it.

I’ve been 19 for a month and notice that I’m not attracted to most of the people I crushed on or was attracted to between 4th-11th grade. I am a black woman who has always lived in an area with a low black population. Pre-pandemic, I actively had crushes on people and felt attraction to others a fair amount. Post pandemic, this is much, much rarer for me.
In 4th grade, I had a crush on a Filipino boy. In 6th-7th grade, I had a crush on a 1/2 white 1/2 Asian boy. In 7th grade, I felt attraction toward an Asian girl who was commonly considered to be quite average, had been bullied in elementary school. I also had a big crush on David Bowie throughout middle school.
Around 9th grade, I had a crush on a 1/2 black 1/2 white boy who was slightly above average - he was a bad person, and I no longer liked him by 11th when he had become average looking.
Online schooling started shortly before 10th grade. 10th grade, I had a crush on an above average looking black boy (older than me, the attraction may have actually been reciprocated) and on a white girl who was average or maybe a little below it (she was overweight, I really liked her personality and that she defended me.) 11th grade I was particularly interested in dating as in the environment I grew up in, I had been made to feel as though I was too unattractive to get a boyfriend and wanted to prove my peers wrong. I ended up dating a black boy who I also think of as average (overweight, like my mother.) Around high school, I still felt some attraction to white men/boys and even started feeling attraction toward above average Mexican/Latino men, but it’s almost like I stopped feeling attraction toward both women and Asian males. As an adult, I know that I am not attracted to the average white man, and probably have a preference for black men. But I know it’d have been hard to predict this, I bet, if you’d talked to me 6 years ago.
My older brother had a breakdown toward the end of my final year in middle school, and this changed my family dynamic. He was in rehab when I was in high school. I think this eventually made me think more about the plight of black men.
Middle school was a weird time for me wherein I think I was attracted to a wider variety of people than I am now, and was more open minded about what I liked in terms of physical appearance (didn’t have as much of a set preference as I think I sort of do now that I’m an adult.) I even subjectively find a fair number of them unattractive now.
Do you have any explanation around the matter? Why do you think this happened?

I’m a second year apprentice in a medium sized resi company and there is not a day i don’t think about quitting. I feel like i’m getting ripped off for doing the least pleasant work and being paid so little.
I used to work with lots of different journeymen/women when i started there and my presence always felt appreciated as the third guy who helped the project move along a little faster than expected. It’s a great company for residential: treats their employees well, lots of great employees, the boss is friendly and we are not stressed on speed like other resi companies.
Thing is, an apprentice 4th year left the company and now they permanently coupled me to his journeyman. In all the company he would have been my last choice. Before working there he worked for a company that would burn out their employees, always giving them less and less time to do more and more work then fire them when they didn’t need them anymore. He’s not a bad person, i can tell, but he still has the mindset from this company.
He’s always sending me do the more tricky stuff that takes more time and when i’m done he makes sure i know its never good enough or fast enough for his liking, but its never so bad that its worth wasting his time showing me a different way to do it (he tries to tell me with words but sometimes you gotta learn by watching someone do it in front of you). When he gives me instructions on what to do next, he always tells me a long list of things vocally in quick succession(too much to remember all at once), then if i forget to do one thing out of his demands he acts like i’m stupid and i should have known.
I feel like i’m taken for granted. If i’m gonna do all the unpleasant tasks you don’t want to do, at least give me some respect for doing them. He is always complaining about speed even if we are ahead on schedule. He says stuff like “if we finish this project earlier the boss is gonna make more money”. The boss is a good generous man, of course i want him to make money but he never asks for any of this. The journeyman is just setting arbitrary deadlines to “challenge” himself while he does all the fun work and i do all the annoying work. He says everyone has to put up with this shit as an apprentice and that i should be grateful i’m not working for his old company.
Anyway i still haven’t decided on what i’m gonna do about the situation. I don’t feel like bitching about it to my boss hoping he passes me on to another journeyman. His word as a journeyman will have more weight than mine and I know the trade has more to offer than roping houses and being complained about all the time.
I think i’m just gonna actually quit and try commercial or get a course in control/plc to become a maintenance guy, or do some fly in fly out on some big industrial job sites. I just needed to vent i guess. If you are in a similar situation feel free to talk about it in the replies.

Earlier this year, I posted about being confused and devastated after my girlfriend broke up with me for allegedly not including her in my Mardi Gras/Pride plans. Everyone (including my IRL friends) was pretty insistent that the breakup was for the best and I should be grateful she's gone, but I also felt like people only heard my perspective and increasingly felt like I could have responded more compassionately instead of getting defensive and debating with her.
I'm embarrassed to say that I spent the next couple months trying and failing to reconcile with her. I would apologise, promise not to go to any more events without her, delivered flowers for her birthday, bring her gifts, etc. Every now and then she would initiate sex, but she would always insist that we weren't getting back together and that she would never ever change her mind because of "all the things I had done." She would also say that I was only trying to reconcile with her after she was already over it, even though I kept trying to repair and fix things while we were together? She would find little reasons to text (e.g. "where's that place you got the dumplings from?" or whatever) but otherwise seemed to have truly moved on and was happy with her decision.
Eventually it reached a point where I felt like I was crossing too many boundaries, and it also was not good for my mental health not to move on, so I made a concerted effort to let go and recover. No contact, even when she would send me random little texts. Logged out of her Netflix, deleted photos of us, started making plans with friends and focusing on myself. I matched with a few people on apps but nothing serious. While I was out of town with a friend, I happened to meet someone and we had amazing chemistry. We went out on a date but resolved not to move fast because we were both freshly out of recent relationships.
Well, she came to visit some friends last weekend and we saw each other again -- it was amazing, we definitely have a real connection and I don't know if it will go anywhere but it was nice to finally feel that with someone who wasn't my ex.
Almost as if she has a sixth sense, my ex began texting me at this time. At first it was just "want to grab lunch?" but then turned into a bunch of accusations about me probably being at lesbian parties or going through Instagram to find whether I was following any queer women and calling me a slut. I kept no contact, but she showed up at my house the following day. I made the HUGE mistake of telling her I had met/was seeing someone else, thinking she would be furious and leave me alone. Well, she did get furious... at first.
Now she's emailing me huge apologies and declarations of love and that she won't give up on me. Showing up at my house with flowers and following me to my dance class then following me home. Begging me to give her another chance and promising she won't break up with me again.
My friends say these are crocodile tears and she's only doing it because she doesn't want me to move on. But she's still in my head and I'm having a hard time being as harsh with her as I know I probably need to be. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?

Now don't get me wrong, I love Ahiru x Fakir, but I honestly think she should've ended up with Mytho. She's a duck, that's what she really is, but the main reason she was able to turn into a human and as Princess Tutu; to see Mytho smile, true she found him handsome, but her main goal was to see him smile. I know Rue was manipulated but at the end, she only cared if Mytho remained her Prince, hell she turned into Princess Kraehe because she didn't like that he was changing.
The way I see Ahiru's feelings for Mytho as a whole is; her desire was that she wished that "I could make him smile." Nothing to do with his appearance or him being a prince. The role of Princess Tutu, in my eyes, is one that can be filled only by one who already loves the prince. It can be filled only by one who wants the prince to be happy. Only one who has a pure heart can become Princess Tutu. Rue does truly love him. But in her heart was a darkness and a selfishness that she had to overcome. She is a girl who could not be Princess Tutu because she wishes only for the prince’s happiness for herself. Tutu is one who wishes not for his love but for him to be able to love. For him to be with who he wishes. Rue is someone who loves him but wants to keep that love for herself. Her love is tainted. She could not be Tutu. Ahiru just wanted to see him happy and encouraged others to bring him that happiness while Rue feared his happiness for the chance that it could not be directed at her.
Ahiru being his princess is perfect for me, all she wished is for the prince to have his heart back. She didn't wish it for herself, nor did she hide his heart from him. She was the only one who wants to see the prince shine at his full potential. The only one who could see what was missing. And she cares wholeheartedly for every victim of a stray shard and does her best to make sure they learn how they no longer need the shard before she takes it from them. In my eyes, she is the only one who can take up the role, because at the end of the day; all she cared about was Mytho's wellbeing and the hope that one day, she could see him smile and shine with his full potential meanwhile Rue literally put Raven's blood into him to make sure that he stays the same, she didn't want him to change at all which is a toxic trait in my book.