Been trying to think of a lets play challenge run to do but i can't really think of any that meaningfully change how i play the game to make it actually interesting to do/watch. main issue is finding one that'll fit in with the other stuff i know i will do ( if anyone's curious fire emblem echoes 100% the game in 500 turns / dragon quest 11 all dragonic quest but all battles are done consistently and triangle stragey no death new game run)
the stuff i've tried so far are:
nuzlockes ( namely " hardcore " and monotype ) found it mostly to easy though i will admit i only got to the 6th gym in my test run before stopping.
no evoultion: tbh was kinda hard, but not exactly intresting as i just went from playing normally to abusing set up moves and status conditions to win battles consistenly
1 pokemon run, didn't try it i just don't like the idea doing it myself.
no exp: admitly this one isn't possible only as i lack coding skill XD though unsure its actually possible anyway for gen 5 as i banned legendaries since ... you know they at base level already are desgined to beat the elite four and ch-- team plasma
and the only other one i was doing research for before deciding it would simply not be worth the effort ( and because it would be like a 200 part lets play purely because of the amount of side-content i'd need to do/possiblely not being possible purely because no wifi anymore ) pokemon white 2 but i get all medals that still exist in the game in minimal battles.
if anyone has any ideas let me know as i got nothing i can really think of for pokemon due to how easy the series is compared to most JRPGs

I feel like I have to start from the beginning....again
Trigger Warning mention about suicide. Self harm and ideation. Domestic and emotional abuse.
Long post alert
I'm sorry if this isn't isn't right sub for this. But I've been watching vids on YouTube about surviving the abuse. And it's been triggering? Even though I thought I was over this. But I keep getting flashbacks AGAIN lately.
For some back story,
I'm 29F got together with this man not long after highschool. Turning 19. He was 7 years older than me. Looking back I feel he may have preyed on me since I was friends with his brother in highschool. I have complex ptsd and major depressive disorder. Generalized anxiety disorder.
Its been a little less than 2 years since i left. He technically broke up first with me but i was like well if you feel that way than imma go. I was miserable and over his shit by that point. Felt trapped. So i took that as my sign as im free. Cause he can't be upset with me if he ends it, right? I saw the opportunity and ran with it.
Didnt say a damn thing while I packed. Sulked on the bed instead. I even talked with his daughter who was 15 at the time, had the talk with her how me and her dad weren't gonna work out. Reassured her that it was not her fault and i would love to still remain in her life. She was the only daughter i ever had. Was involved in her life for 4 years. He didnt wanna join the discussion so i did what needed to be done for his daughters sake. I sadly passed her each time going out the door to put my things in the car. She was in the living room. So upward I go to my mom's, I called her and she had no hesitation when I asked to come home.
Once I get to my parents, he starts blowing me up. Spam messaging and calling and I told him I needed time to think. "We'd been together almost 9 years and your gone all day and send me a long breakup text after you finally get home and I'm in the shower. This is literally what you asked for, and youre broken up about it? How do you think i feel" Were my thoughts
I came back the next day cause he threatened suicide and i was genuinely scared. Called police. Told him i think well be ok if you get some help and stayed for a month or so when he just got worse. I didnt know at the time he relapsed. His emotional abuse and trying to control me grew errily intense from what i was used to. Was saying I was starting an argument anytime I was trying ti communicate because he would just not.
Throughout our time together, at least living together, He'd go from saying and doing things like
"These are the conversations that are gonna make me put a bullet in my head" Getting angry at something so miniscule and breaking things like he always did, it had just extremely escalated to him trashing the apartment. Timing how long I'd be out at the store or at a work meeting. Didn't work and took full advantage of the stimulus checks and 600 unemployment every week during covid, which he spent on everything but rent. Which later down the road is why our landlords sued us.
I almost got 2 jobs. I nickled and dimed every mf thing to make ends meet. Living paycheck to paycheck. While he's gloating about what he just ordered. Than stressing about how he has no money for rent the next week. He ran my PayPal into debt and almost fucked my credit up. With his spending and the fact that we were being sued. I had to pay for everything. I saved his ass so many times. For almost a fkn decade. I kept saying if I help him he'll be caught up right? But than he'd run his debt in again. He sucked every pen y put of ALMOST all my inheritance money. Talking thousands.
He'd constantly complain about the car I bought him in full. We couldn't drive my car around because it was embarrassing for a women to drive her man around. I always had to be with him when he was doing whatever. Couldn't have any me time. He'd get upset at me gaming and streaming for 2 hours while he'd be at the gym for 4 hours.
Always put me down. Disencouraged any self care routines I'd try cause they'd take too long. Genuinely got pissed at me if I was falling asleep before he did. Give me a hard time if I didn't get the right brand items at the store or even groceries.
Nothing I did was right or enough. Over 100k wasn't enough money. No amount of hours I worked were enough to escape his rath. Nothing I did was fast enough. I used to tell him my life wasn't the drivethru timing at my old job. At some point I just gave up fighting him on it.
He sucked the life outta me. My optimism I'd always have and encouraged him with was gone. This was the life I was meant to live I'd think. I was planning a suicide and self harming shortly after my return back to him. Which was about a month later. I was convinced everyoned wanted me dead. I was just a tool. Only good for money, errands, chores, and BJs. I was just an object to him. Nothing more and much less.
I left again end of october 2022 when i thought he was cheating. He hid my stuff in the closet when a girl came over. Always said he was lusting over other women. Always showed me pics of men and women and would ask me if id fuck them. Said it was ok to find people attractive.
Got to the last straw, left, and didnt look back. Not until i got to my parents did i realize he was emotionally abusive. I stayed ferm on my boundaries. He commited suicide less than 2 months after i left. Blamed me in his note, which was a rewritten version of another he left at the house after the first time i left.
Blaming me and giving me one last fuck you was more important to him to stay in his daughters life. He abandoned his siblings. I felt such a fucked up irony at the time cause it was alnost me. Now i dont feel guilty cause I know it's not my fault. saddly if he was still alive id be in such fear of my life. I was debating filing a restraining order the morning we found him.
The beginning of our relationship was extremely hard to handle. Probably the most difficult before we moved in together. I may have even dissociatrd through most of it? Im not sure how i survived while trying to take care of him. He was also homeless . He was occastionally physical like pushing. He threatened to kill me after hitting me once. But at thr time it happened i blamed myself cause he held everything over my head and i thought i deserved it. I blamed it on his drug use and drinking. I also hit him forst for saying harsh diragitory things to me. He was arrested the next day for breaking into a cops house. That night didnt exist to him and was denied anytime I brought it up(except the day after he broke down and apologized) he was always the victim.
Those early years before we moved in together are still hard to resinate with.
Why are his words in my voice in my head still? After all this time and therapy since his death. Its almost like im controlling myself thr way hed control me? I thougt ive come to terms with the emotional abuse and his death. Multiple times already. I even spread his ashes for fucks sake. And yet his energy still lingers. Not as bad as before granted. But my god man go tf away!
Maybe i repressed the physical occasions? And thr financial abuse? Again I was with him for 9 years. Lived with him for about 5-6 give or take.
Idk Why all this still haunts me? Idk How long it'll take until I find myself again, I thought I already have! Hes just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my trauma and i keep feeling like im back at square one.
I don't feel anxious or depressed even typing this. I just feel so lost. In the wrong world. Like im not cut out for life cause i have too much trauma. Too much baggage. Its too much too vent often to the people in my life now as i go through IOP. I don't wanna be in survival mode forever. Thanks for reading. Any advice is appreciated

so i'm like a 22m cs major, asian american, who just graduated college. so like yay me, but i feel like i lack real life skills. and like i feel like my dad emotionally abused me during covid so i like lack a lot of self confidence and stuff. i'm basically like fulfilling quite a few asian stereotypes (bad driver, good at math, etc.). Honestly like the last semester I realized that i wasn't ever going to be good enough at cs to do a phd and i was burned out like crazy so i just started doing normal people things like showering 1x or 2x a day and like getting a good haircut (which was more effort than i realized since you gotta pick the right haircut). and like actually buying my own clothes and consciously developing some style instead of just wearing sweats and a zip up jacket like i have my whole life.
but yeah so i like am kinda like just wondering like if anyone out there also feels the same way. honestly like i'm kinda scared to put this on the internet but i kinda reached a dead end talking with gpt for basically therapy lol so i just wanted to like see if other people feel the same way and what they are going through.
a little more about me, like i've been addicted to the internet for like 10 years, and it exacerbated over covid. so like im a gamer, minecraft and nintendo switch, but not too extreme (just a few couple hundred hours, which is admittedly not nothing), and like i don't use any substances because i'm a scrupulous rule follower (ocd maybe?) and like i like making my mom proud. but like yeah i wish i could make more friends and i also wish i had a girlfriend, but like at this point im kinda ready for the onslaught of like people that will laugh at me for like being such a loser like this and still wanting a girlfriend. like i am not ready for the criticism although i know it will come.
like people tell me to get a therapist but i've been to 8 in the last 4 years. so like clearly i have some form of autism or ocd or i guess something like that. or just cptsd from my dad's verbal insults and arguing attitude. but yeah like i guess this is really making me really unrelatable and not the best version of myself at all so yeah that kinda sucks
edit:
as additional info, i don't have a job after college, so like i should probably just use this time to go to the gym and meet people and like get used to a good daily routine. and travel some to like nyc a bit by myself, or possibly a closer city. basically like get the real world skills i didn't get when i was doing like functional programming on the computer and stuff. so yeah and like i am prestige obsessed especially with academics and like scared to spend money and this comes from my asian parents probably, or maybe i should just take responsibility for being this way. anyways i'm neurotic and getting off the internet and into the real world should set me on the right course though. like i feel like people will laugh at me for being unemployed but at the end of the day other people don't know like what i went through arguing with my dad and my bad mental health so kinda need the time to be unemployed even if people like look down on me for it, but it still stings when people look down on me for not having a job when i studied so hard i forgot how to have social skills. but i guess evidently i didn't study so hard because i'm not good enough for a phd
edit 2:
but i am still wondering if other people feel the same way or i guess also if they feel differently about this stuff in the post
edit 3:
ok i'm not a loser but i guess i felt pretty bad when i wrote the post

I'm starting a series, where I discuss where characters can go from where they currently are in the story in the context of their football gameplay. Since this is the first entry in this series of mine, I'll start with the protagonist: Isagi Yoichi.
Contextualizing Isagi:
Isagi playstyle is fairly straight forward. He runs up field evading and juking defenders when necessary and places himself in the most dangerous position not only for the defensive line but also for the goalkeeper. His goal scent/Metavision allow him to pinpoint said area. If he were to get the ball before being in said area he usually trades short passes with any allies as he makes with way through the enemy team using his off the ball. And once left unmarked, he waits for his pass so they can repeat the process until he can get in range to use his signature direct shot. This weapon can be fired from both of his feet, with the stipulation that his left foot is 60% less accurate/powerful (not sure which maybe it's both) then his right. When the opposing team has the ball he routinely uses his incredible stamina to fall back and help the defensive line or if the opposing team haven't reached the attacking third yet, he usually goes for interceptions. With his incredible vision, information gathering skills and general field IQ he can lead a match, without even having the majority of his team backing him up. With all of this taken into consideration, on top of the fact that his IQ on the human psyche (egocentrism and ego types: World-type/Self-type) and it's effects on players during matches, Isagi Yoichi can essentially see into the future.
Basic Improvements:
For how Isagi can improve his base play style as it is now, It's fairly simple.
Maintenance on defence
As is illustrated here
And the problem with such a play style
Given the length of NEL matches presumably shorter than geniune 90 min. matches. Going from end of the pitch to the other would require pace and stamina that allows him to complete both his offensive duties and his defensive ones. He would have increase his speed so he can get to his "Meta Burst Points" more successfully as the competition keeps ramping up. And he'd also have increase his stamina so he doesn't tire out during the full 90 minutes. But he seems to have remedied this problem in the NEL, so his current endurance regiment should be enough as long as he keeps breaking his limits during training.
As for the rest of his physicals he should be pretty good when it comes to being physically pressed even by larger opponents.
Karasu, larger opponent who gave him trouble in the past...
...He manages to hold his own agaisnt long enough to keep the ball safe from him and begin a tiktaka sequence his Kurona. Good chop pass as well
So when it comes to getting physically pressed Isagi's not as powerless as he was before and with the addition of his Two-Gun Volley to his arsenal he should be fine when it comes time to score.
Moving forward when comes to shooting, there's only two things he really needs to do.
MASTER IT
Mastering the Two-Gun Volley can entail so many things. Increased shot accuracy with his weaker foot, the ability to perform longer feint sequences, (more than one feint) or maybe increasing his shooting speed so he can still shoot with foot he feinted. There's a plethora of improvement that can be made this fundamentally dangerous weapon.
That's where I'll wrap it up for this section because frankly Isagi's base play style is already dangerous as is. And as your about to see in the next section there's very little overt or drastic additions or changes you can make to it, that won't fundamentally change Isagi as player.
Additions going forward/Story relevant changes:
Isagi is own to add weapons to his arsenal that aren't necessarily viewed as conventional: Metavision, Egocentrism and now his Egocentrism is evolving to take into account player's ego types so he can better predict their top performances. I'm sure that Isagi will continue to gather these brand of weapons, let's just call them mental weapons for simplicities sake. As for what they will be I have ZERO clue. I expected Metavision or something to the effect of it be introduced of course I didn't expect it to be depicted in the way it is. I did see Egocentrism coming especially considering how simple it is in nature. But Isagi's been characterized as some one who takes mental aspect of the game into account far more than other's do, so I can't be surprised at this development. Especially since having a protagonist who thinks in such a way helps us see how he makes these crazy decisions. And our protagonist behaving in such a way also helps us delve deeper into the psychology of the other players on the pitch, especially from outside view like Isagi's. Take for example is employment of verbal abuse towards Kaiser, to further deepen his adversary's obsession with him. Isagi taking the pride and joy's of his opponent's into account will always be part of his game. And how this evolves I cannot tell you. I for sure did not even think about ego-types when reading. But in hindsight, it's par for the course considering this is manga about "Ego" as a concept first and foremost. Holistically the football and it's logistics take a backseat to this central theme. It's more accurate say that football is simply medium in which this theme of "Egoism" is expressed in the story. But I digress. TL;DR I can't tell what Isagi's next mental weapon is going to be.
But I will attempt to make an estimation on what PHYSICAL weapon he might acquire. And this theory is going to be based on not only story implications or events that have previously happened in the story, but also on taking into account what his arsenal and play style already look like. So what's this weapon?
A Rainbow FLICK!
Yes I know Isagi sucks at dribbling (for the most part) but he's gotten drastically better as seen here:
Impressive lift
Not necessarily dribbling but still an impressively perfomed feint that lend credence not only for my theory on whether or not Isagi can learn the move. But also on why the Isagi will learn the move.
Even complimented by Yuki
Well executed evasion of a slide tackle
But with that aside, how would he even learn this? Simple the same way he acquired his left shot. His friends. It is perfectly within Isagi's character to reach out or take from those whom he needs help from. I predict that he'll go to Chigiri the same way he went to Kunigami. Of course not for the matter at hand, that being the rainbow flick but rather with help on his physicals, since Chigiri has great stamina, speed and probably everything else since he was a part of manshine. While, like I aforementioned, Isagi could use some of that. As for the rainbow flick I think he'll go to Hiori and/or Bachira for help on how to develop the ball control and skill to execute it.
Now as for WHY Isagi would want the rainbow flick. It's fairly simple, It's to aid his Two-Gun Volley.
My Idea for it's utilization in Isagi's bag is in the scenario he gets pressed from behind or even from the front he can use it to start using his off the ball (which is way better than his dribbling) to catch up to the ball while getting pass the defenders. From there the ball will still be in the air and he can use his two Volley from there.
I mainly got this Idea from rereading Ubers. (And watching football stuff on instagram) But I saw this sequence from Hiori in Ubers and I thought that if Isagi could do that but instead finish with a Two-Gun Volley in front of the goal he'd be a monster.
https://preview.redd.it/nxlahe2lca3d1.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aaa1961ec910ca57fc77c4dcbcaf63b66254f150
https://preview.redd.it/sc17sugmca3d1.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3a2b083b0e17ee99b834c98c18272ef524bcdc78
https://preview.redd.it/acpoj0onca3d1.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b2ac49dcc6e71043e47106a04c9abf42ee6e5ed5
And another reason why I think this is in character for Isagi is that it follows (almost) the same principle as the lefty shot.
Simple weapon to help in tight spots
He doesn't need to be the next Bachira, Sae or Hiori but also doesn't need to be next Noa or Kunigami. He didn't seek to become completely ambidextrous after Kuni's warning, so he simplified his goal. He can't play completely ambidextrous like Kuni and Noa but he doesn't have to he simply needs to be able to shoot with left leg not play the entire game with it like it's his right. I believe this follows the same pattern, he doesn't need to perform 20 elasticos and nutmegs in a row but just being able to get the ball over his head, like how Hiori has done for him in the past with the no look assist and no look goal. But this time his Two-Gun Volley is waiting for the keeper on arrival, that's just what he needs to get pass the hurdle of a demon press from someone like Aiku when he has the ball.
Case in point
And even from that position he can get caught lacking from behind (no Diddy) while having do deal with defender in front of him if he can't pass
So i'll leave you with this sequence i've stitched together along with a in-motion I found to open up to better visualize it.
https://preview.redd.it/whb21mvgia3d1.jpg?width=1492&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c527ee48ace4a4a115af758c2203ca7a69ce53d0
https://i.redd.it/c1jajgx3fa3d1.gif
But yeah... Other than that I don't know how else Isagi can evolve. I mean there's always drive shots and more curved shots but I've seen that suggested so many times that I think I just wanted some different. But anyway, what's your Idea for an Isagi evolution. Please let me know and also let me know what you think of my theory.

I can't believe I'm writing this. But I need some insight cause I find myself getting angry and confused. This is my first reddit post. Please excuse my redditor literacy.
This is the most convoluted story. It is long. But it's a ride.
You've been warned.
(Fake names obviously)
I (20f) have a best friend, Karl (20m) of 4 years. Now I see what you might assume. No. We're close but I'm mainly into women, I currently have a partner and have had a partner 90% of the time they where dating.
Now Karl got with Regina(19f) late 2022, the relationship started off rocky as she said "I only want you" but then kissed her ex, and then couldn't decide who she wanted. But still insisted once she chose Karl, she wanted to stay friends with her ex. Posted pictures when they'd "hang out" where it looked like she was sitting on his lap. But she swore she wasn't. Constantly blocked him after things would happen, then unblocked him, lied, then cried when Karl would find out.
Yes. Infuriating. But here you go. That's how Regina was introduced to our lives.
It took a while but eventually I tried to look past this. I care about Karl, if this was who he loved. We accepted it. Infact made it a point to invite her out to gatherings, made sure to offer her food, offer her drinks, chatting. Making sure she's involved. Gassing her up. Girlie things. (God I'm so desperate for everyone to love me it's a problem.)
Then her friends, ex boyfriend began to follow me, I had hoped this was because of how well I'd done to make friends. But this waa short lived.
Originally I'd just hoped it was banter. I'd chat to them, often sending pictures with Regina in her classes and joking with me.
Unfortunately I have social impairments, Slowly it became clear they where just laughing at me, calling me names but with cutesy emojis. Remember the girls in highschool? The ones thatd pretend to be your friend in class because it was funny? Like that.
So i stopped paying attention, often ignoring them. Unfortunately it only got worse. It got to a point I'd be spammed and have my instagram story replies with slurrs, calling me a pdf. File??? (I was talking to someone 6 years older than me?) Weird references, calling me cringe (I know. I know, worst thing ever right.), picking on my hair, my eyes(strabismus), my clothing. So I folded. Told Karl I wouldn't be dealing with it anymore. I'd blocked them, and asked karl To ask Regina to ask her friends to stop contacting me, I was doing my finishing project in college (uk) to get into university and it was getting to point I couldn't focus. I told him what had been happening, that I didn't know what her problem was. But I am a adult woman and this was bizarre.
Now, that alone. I forgave and in time, forgot. She had allegedly appologized "for them" and didn't know any of that was happening and had no I'll intent and hoped we could still be friends. Okay, sure.
Weird semi important point: she confessed in a groupchat that she used to be a 'chav' I said " you do look like someone who'd have bullied me" Banter. She then posted on her Instagram story (Paraphrased by memory) "When someone says you look like someone who'd have bullied them- but your friend died" I can't remember, but it was along the lines of that kind of 'what the fuck does that even mean'
Upon a later night of drinking, regina was talking to Karl about the ex, Mike. I brang up the fact her ex boyfriend kept liking my photos and was following me Hoping to bond over the fact this guy was weird, common girly bonding
"You know he only follows you so he could make fun of you and how cringe your posts are". She laughs.
The group goes quiet and holy shit I'm embarrassed. I just internalise that and change the subject.
Later I repost a reel of a guy saying something vaugely corresponding to this convosation. Basic premise when someone tells you their friend talks shit about you, then obviously you ask "why do they do that to you" (I know childish but at this point I was starting to really dislike her. My friend had sent it to me, It was late.) When i say She launched, "if you've got a problem talk to me instead of being weird and I'd tell you I was so scared of Mike and he held such a power over me and I just let him chat shit" I'd love to just mention this is after the 2nd time she'd unblocked him to talk to him behind Karl's back. I put up with it. Karl is at this point family. And if this is who he loves. We have to love her too.
This is all important to the point I swear.
Anyway.
My partners (now ex) friend Frank (22) and us fell out. Unimportant to this story but he let me know, Regina and an old very close friend had a groupchat to say very unpleasant things about me in, despite this old friend I never stopped speaking well of. Hoping we'd find eachother again. He'd been scouted when we had fallen out. But respected me enough to tell me. Another confrontation where she is so misunderstood and I'm making a big deal out of nothing and she's never ever had a problem with me.
Okay. Talked to Karl again. He is shocked but takes her word. As I'd kinda expect. Its his girlfriend. He took her to London over my birthday, he didn't want to ruin it. So he gave it up.
Karl throughout this is withdrawing from us. When he's with us it's like the light is gone from his eyes. He's distracted, quiet, doesn't laugh as much. Often tries to slip out of meetups because he'll "only bring you guys down". He's constantly picking up his phone. Constantly messaging. Cancelling plans. He won't talk to us. We where all worried.
Karl few months later calls me for advice. Turns out she kept getting caught in lies about her ex and general behaviours. Ignoring him for days again, threatening to game quit if she doesn't get the attention she wants. It'd all gotten so tiring that he didn't have any attraction to her anymore. He had no sex drive. He dreaded seeing her. But had to constantly message her. He's been feeling like this for months. Karl didn't want to leave her just before her birthday, he felt it cruel. But then it was the anniversary coming up. He didn't want to be responsible. He'd tried gifts, trips, anything just to make her happy. No matter what he did he still felt like nothing was enough. I managed to talk him through. About threatening suicide if someone wants to leave, is indeed abuse. He wasn't himself. How we felt and how we where worried. He got choked up. Not realizing anyone cared. He asked if he should leave. I asked if he was happy. "I can't imagine not having her there." Okay no. Not what I asked. Eventually he confessed He'd never felt lower. I said. Can you see yourself marrying her? No. Infact he said the thourght freaked him out. I said. Well. Why are you with her. Eventually it got to a point He left her. She said she'd been thinking about it. Yay? No 12 hours later he calls me saying its all fixed. Its all okay. How He's a horrible person for doing this to her. How it's him that needs to change. How he will spend a long time making this up to her. You know. I'm a domestic abuse survivor. But I never realized how much hearing that killed abit of my sould. Trying to convince Karl that he's worth anything is like trying to convince a deaf non signing American Conservative that the gays aren't trying to make him gay too.
They do eventually a few months later split. She says she wants to breakup as he "doesn't love her the way she wants him to" he is hurt but says okay. She then obviously realizes hey, he isn't gonna start begging on his knees. You can only hurt someone so much. She then asks "breakup sex" directly after and to this day its our favourite quote. But he says no, she asks for one more night, he says no you just broke up with me? Leave? She complains about not being able to get to the train station. Now. Karl didn't have his licence till a few weeks later. So queue the weirdest car ride with his DAD you've ever heard of. She cried. Hugged him. Begged him to reconsider. Karl officially has realized how disconnected he's become. Nah.
Queue a weird amount of messages ranging between "I'm sorry baby" to "I CANT BELIEVE YOURE GIVING UP ON US" and sexually charged messages, After karl finally blocks her. She begins to call him from various different numbers. Tries to get with his friends. Fails. Still calls him crying for the next 6 months. In which these events happen.
Frank from before. Now it turns out. While we don't have full timeline but either weirdly around the time they broke up they got /very/ close. To the point despite Frank having a partner. She was begging him to sleep with her. But Being weird with it. One minute she wants him. Next she doesn't. Basically, she loves the idea that she could have him. But doesn't want to keep any of them. Frank had a girlfriend. Goddess of a lady. Daisy. Regina proceeded to pick on every little thing to Frank about daisy she could. Always. Physical appearance.
Then. Now I am simply not making this up. after Frank separates himself from this situation. Regina begins to harrass Daisy, With telling Daisy about how much Frank's missing out on not shagging her instead.
And making 6 different instagram accounts to harrass them, and this is where I come in further.
Regina now, after the hate group chooses some last straws she can pull to drag him back. She makes a fake account. Goes to message Frank. With the opener of gossip about me and my partners sex life. I talked to Regina less times than I can Count on one hand.
The main one I'm aware of is "Did you know my partner drinks my names piss" Which I'm not here to kink shame; but this does not happen unfortunately but i still find it beautiful of a statement.
I one day due to some more harassment and more attention than I'm used to.
Decide to private my instagram. It was only for 24 hours in full so I could change some settings and archive some things. Within 15. An account. David, requests to follow. Strange. Cause my account is shadow banned and cannot be shown to non followers. I click. Heavens foretold dear friends. Regina's new boo. Id like to clarify. 2 weeks before Karl was still getting snotty teary calls telling him she misses him. Karl's friends where sending screenshots of Regina trying it on with them then getting snotty when she was rightfully laughed at.
I ask "hi??"
"Hi me and my girlfriend just wanted to stalk how cringe your posts are" I wish I could have been funny and not caught off guard. And shamed them. Oh god. I wish I had. Basically I told him, the gym is waiting. She will chew you up. Idk what I did but I'm sorry. Godamn. Leave me be. And they said "It's not that deep lighten up" I am indeed embarrassed.
But they kept mentioning my workplace. I am a bartender, and one day she did come in with a man, they seems very loved up but then again. It certainly wasn't this guy. then said bad things about me infront of a coworker. It was a little satisfying seeing her face fall and hit the table from shame as I was carrying an ice bucket past her. She was already cut off at this point for her antics.
David's best friends memepage now follows me. But has been the first out of 5 accounts not to say anything. I'm sure they think I don't know. David claimed I was lying in my encounter. I do wonder if I could flip the table entirely.
but I also wonder if she's just very mentally unwell. But it's been 1.5 years of this and I'm just abit knackered and pissed off.
I'm 20 feeling like a highschooler. But I'm working for a bipolar diagnosis and I have ADHD, the paranoia. Is driving me up the wall man. Like this woman knows enough of my details and she's spread where I work. She's been to my house. She has clearly gotten multiple people involves historically and despite me trying to apologise, it makes no difference.
If I knew what the issue was, I'd gauge it. But it's not knowing and not being told. But it's reassuring it's not just me. With daisy, I'm wondering if this is historic. Might be vanity? She (used to?) Post alot of ...suggestive photography and always wears a lingerie corset and heavy makeup, filters. Nothing wrong with that of course but she's a very sexually orientated person, and given the contexts to that behaviour. I wonder if its to cover some in depth issues. But that's just a theory. Part of feels hey, if she needs men to tell her that I am ugly, cringe and worth nothing. Then she van have that. The other half makes me want vengeance for the boy, prove that I'm not whatever she'd been making me out to be and make her realize she needs to change. But that's. abit pathetic innit.
Anyway I doubt anyones made it this far and if you have. Thank you for reading my story and the weirdness of it. I hope it hasn't been too shit. Just needed to get it off my chest. And maybe if anyone has anything to say.
TLDR: my best friends ex has always had an issue despite my efforts. Getting various people to harrass and bully me, She tried to get with his friends, other guys we knew and harrassing us all. All while still crying she misses him. Her new bf thinks I'm lying and is joining in, his best friend now follows me too. My partner allegedly drinks my piss <3

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/WanderingWifie
I'm a gaming widow
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest & Marriage
TRIGGER WARNING: addiction, physical violence
Original Post Apr 20, 2024
How is it not me? Help me understand as a gaming widow
My(38f) husband(34m) spent $1800 in 3 months on a mobile game. He recently started purchasing google play cards behind my back so it's not apparent on the bank statement. I caught him because I found it in our truck under the seat. Now he asks for google play cards...except I'm too scared to say no..he's so mean and cold and the walls have holes from it.
I started going to therapy because he's forced us into living almost below paycheck to paycheck. Ofc we've had multiple convos and he knows he may lose me.
I asked my therapist, "How is it not my fault when the kids and me are his life he's trying to escape?" . My therapist kept repeating, "I promise it's not, this is something within him".
I hate her answer.
Can you help me see it from his view? I feel like he doesn't want to be a father to our kids (2m, 7f). Maybe he doesn't want a life with me and can't admit it? Is therapist trying to coddle me? Like is she worried if she says, "WanderingWifie, you are a shit mom. You are a shit partner. You are a shit person. This is your fault because you're a SAHM and he hates living with you in the life you've created together!" That I'll never come back or hurt myself?
He tells me, "at least I'm here. I could be doing (xyz event away from home)after work". At this point I might as well consider him a "cardboard cutout that's glued to the chair". No, really. Our 2yr son got all the way out the door when I was in the backyard letting the dogs out.
I miss my husband so fucking much. We don't go to bed together anymore. He goes to bed at around 130am. I'm never his focus after the kids go to bed. He thinks he's "present" but I doubt he could tell you the plot of any movie or show we've watched lately. He's glued to it for all but maybe 1-2 waking hours...that's me being generous and counting all total points he briefly engages with us. He gets angry when I ask for help putting the kids to bed because it's in the middle of one of his battle raids.
Please please be brutally honest. I don't want to fight for someone to stay in a life they hate.
My MIL is trying to save me from her own son Apr 21, 2024
It just hit me this morning as I sat processing my most recent appointment. It was at her insistence that I saw a therapist that worked closely with women's health. My MIL is the one that briefed the therapist on the situation with her son and his addiction.
My therapist asked, "Does your MIL know how bad the situation at home can get?".
For a moment I didn't answer and the pieces slowly came together as I spoke, "I didn't need to. She saw the holes in the wall and now the shattered glass in the cabinet. I didn't even have a conversation about the cabinet. She texted me after that she was booking me with you and that a wife should never fear her husband. But I never said I was afraid. She knew.."
I cannot imagine how hard this must have been for my MIL; accepting her son is capable of evil and knowing the therapist would guide me into seeing the addiction and abuse wasn't normal, knowing it would leave to me putting plans in place to leave him. She did this knowing the divorce will be nasty and I will have main custody of the kids.
This woman stood up for other woman over her son and I don't know how to begin to thank her.
Edit: info: FIL & MIL grew up in physically abusive households they are not abusive.
My husband is verbally abusive. The concern is it transferring from holes in the walls/smashed glass to my face being met with his fist. For those that don't see holes in walls as warnings....you are blind the way I was...it can turn on a dime, it's a question of when. I had become so used to it preaddiction that it no longer phased me as "not normal". The addiction has ramped his anger issues up. I do not feel safe saying no when he asks to spend money on it.
Edit 2: I promise to continue to update and make posts. It's hard for me to not delete because this addiction...and what it's done...not only is it not talked about (on the rise according to my therapist and WHO has classified it as a disorder similar to gambling) but people that "don't get it" are like "WHAT A LOSER". Please understand this is a 13 year relationship (married for 9 of them) and he was not always like this. I loved the man I married. I do not love this man that has replaced him.
He said something really mean but it's true Apr 27, 2024
"At least I haven't wasted 30K on an education that resulted in nothing".
We've been fighting a lot...mostly about the mobile game addiction. I don't want to get into it here but it's a lot of money and time. My post history talks more about it.
I started crying on the spot when he said it. It was a low blow for many reasons.

1. I tried several different majors in my 20's but bad mental health got in my way and I failed.
   
2. I graduated last summer from a medical trade there are no jobs for.
   
3. I got fired in Jan (2 weeks from the 90 day probation) from my last job and it devastated me because I tried my hardest at it...I guess I'm just garbage at admin work.
   
4. I've been feeling very lost in life and wondering my purpose. Should I go back to my career I had before the kids? I was just a dog groomer...average at best..I tried to break away with a career change but that failed..as you can see.
   

He has tried to apologize but I'm too hurt. I don't feel like I have the right to be mad because what he said is true.
I was supposed to start volunteering at the animal shelter and groom strays for free as per my therapist's hope to "get me out there". Instead, I'm sitting with my daughter watching movies... not wanting to see the light of day.
Update: My MIL is trying to save me from her own son May 22, 2024
Well...It's been over a month... and a lot happened. He blew up my chance to volunteer at the animal shelter. He did not like it when I got strong and said, "I'm not nothing without you; I have rights, you will owe my alimony, half of the house for starters". So he went after the therapist who also mainly runs the shelter... whatever he said made her not respond to my emails or messages. I believe he accused her of purposely ruining a marriage and probably some legal threat from his response. I'm really sad and feel like I can't trust therapists after this...I worry that maybe I'm too damaged... mostly I wonder what was said. I feel freaking abandoned but I don't want to unpack that in this post tbh.
Last night all hell broke loose and I said the words out loud, "I want a seperation- I'm done". I was/am done with doing all the house chores; (laundry, dishes, all & any house cleaning, pet feeding/walking/poop clean up, all the emotional labor of helping 7f with school & teachers, taking on all the finances because he can't be trusted not to spend stupidly & selfishly). I was/am tired of doing all the potty training with 2m and 95% of diapers. I was/am tired of feeling embarassed to let people in the house because of the holes in walls.
I bet you can guess how well it went. New wall holes. Hooray. I went into the laundry room, locked it, and screamed, "No! You don't come in here! This is my safe space. I will fucking call the cops.".
I stayed there for two hours. He kept trying to get me to come out and talk. I said, "I do not feel like we can have a conversation without fighting. " each time. Then I went to bed and pretended to sleep as he got ready for work (omg I was so happy he got called in).
In the morning I texted my mil that it was over and I was leaving at the end of the month. I asked her to make sure he has support during this time...because...I still love him and don't want him to anything dumb. She responded with simply "We (meaning my fil as well) love you ". Omg I cried. I cried because, as a mother myself, I cannot imagine how painful this is for her.
Later on my husband called me. I listened to that canary sing like his life depended on it. He said he would delete the game or not spend anything on it. He said he would create a chore sch with me so I wouldn't be doing everything.
My heart so badly wanted to believe it. I knew I couldn't give in...he needed to feel the gravity of his fuck ups; the almost 3k he spent on a game in 4 months, preventing me from going to therapy, ruining my chance to restart my former career (dog groomer), and just everything.
So that's all for now...I'm sitting here..at midnight...nervous for when he comes home tomorrow (he's gone 12-48 hours at a time for his job).
Ps. My dad is doing his second round of chemo and so far-so good. They did find cancer in his lymph nodes after surgery..so yes it spread but not as bad as it could be. Thank-you to the redditor's that said such kind things.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
OOP when asked why she is still talking to her husband and doesn't take the kids and leave

It's a funny thing. This is someone I've been with for 13 years. The major shift in everything happened 4 months ago when he found the game. It's not so easy when you've been a sahm for 7 years esp in this job market.
I used to say the same thing as you when I heard of people in abusive situations. All I can say is unless you've been in a situation similar you do not and cannot possibly understand.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Context
Her:

• Midwest born, worked at disney resorts, hardcore Swiftie, works in childcare, living in UK now, megachurch attendee

Him:

• Short king but jacked, handsome, good family, successful, naive and insecure, straight edge

Essentially my friend was not dating for 3-4 years (he's in late twenties now), and instead autistically focusing on himself. He re-entered the dating game in the middle of last year and had a pretty rough introduction, being overly sincere and turning off a lot of women in the process - it was difficult to watch because he is a lovely chap but just doesn't have that hootzpah and/or confidence that is obvious in some people. Eventually he meets this girl, lets call her Tamarind, a very clean cut American girlie girl with the aforementioned qualities. They start dating and getting on pretty well. Soon he realises that Tamarind will NOT fuck until marriage but will give him top constantly, so he's on the hook.
Here's the thing. They barely talk about anything of substance. She told him he gave her the "ick" 7 months in and said it was because she stopped coming from him going down on her. He plans overly elaborate dates because that is what he thinks is required to keep her interested. She has never posted him on her Instagram despite curating and covering everything in her life. They are "official" to each other but it feels like a very drawn out situationship to me. There's nothing behind her eyes, she has a vacant, cold, eerie and soullness gaze.
I don't know if it's the mental backflips she does to not fuck, or her Senorita Awesome persona, or what. Tamarind frightens me and I need to know I'm not alone in this fear

Hey neighbors - pro pickler here currently “rolling with the punches” after a rough season. I went 18-5 last year and 7-15 this year and got UNFAIRLY accused of having an illicit substance on my paddle. It literally was just a residue from those blue Takis I eat before every match and told the ref to “lick it and see,” which got taken the wrong way and resulted in me getting tossed in front of lots of my buddies.
I had to give back my $16,546 in prize winnings and got slapped with a $50,000 fine with a 15 month suspension. Because of that, I moved out of my Prospect Heights 2 bed, 1.5 bath to a 5 bedroom, 1 bath apartment on the Liberty Ave stop in East Ocean Hill that I share with 3 delivery drivers and an NFT investor. TimeIn NY called it, “A vibrant African-American community with room to grow…”
I went to Grace Park on Friday to work on my vertical taps and pickle slices, honestly hoping to play someone, hopefully for some scratch like I did at the Major R. Owens Health & Wellness Community Center before the ban.
Well…a group of junior high school boys challenged me to a match and I thought I’d teach em the game a bit, but one hit my fav pickle across the street and another one with a “hoodie” sweatshirt that read “Fear of God” took my second paddle (one signed by four-time PBC Pickler of the Prairie Morris Steinburn) and ran!!! Not very Christ like or god fearing if you ask me. Another called me Pickle Rick…whatever kid. Scram.
While I cool off a bit and figure out the pickle hustle aka “the pustule” in my current sitch, where’s a good spot in East Ocean Hill to pickle?

Hey Reddit fam, gather 'round for a tale of triumph in the realm of DIY Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT). Today, I'm spilling the beans on my journey, complete with the ups, downs, and a trustworthy source that's been a game-changer. Let's dive in.
The Cost Conundrum: Like many of you, I faced the daunting reality of pricey clinic visits and prescriptions for TRT. But with determination and a sprinkle of resourcefulness, I ventured into the world of DIY TRT. It wasn't easy, but boy, was it worth it.
The Trial and Error Dance: Ah, the wild west of underground sources. Let me tell you, finding a reliable supplier was like searching for a needle in a haystack. It took a fair share of trial and error—cue sketchy vials and questionable substances—before striking gold with a source I could trust.
Educate and Empower: Before diving headfirst into DIY TRT, arm yourself with knowledge. Learn the ins and outs of testosterone, understand the risks, and familiarize yourself with safe administration practices. Trust me, a little education goes a long way.
Lab Work and Baselines: Safety first, folks. Before embarking on your DIY TRT journey, get baseline blood work done to assess your hormone levels and overall health. Whether through your doc or online lab services, this step is non-negotiable.
Enter the Trusty Source: After much trial and tribulation, I stumbled upon a source that's been a game-changer. Reliable, affordable, and discreet—everything you could ask for in a DIY TRT supplier. But remember, trust is earned, not given. Do your due diligence.
Community Vibes: One of the biggest perks of the DIY route? The sense of community. From Reddit to specialized forums, there's a wealth of knowledge and support at your fingertips. Lean on your fellow TRT enthusiasts for guidance and camaraderie.
Safety First, Always: DIY TRT isn't without its risks, and safety should always be your top priority. Regular monitoring of hormone levels, responsible dosing, and listening to your body are non-negotiables. Don't cut corners when it comes to your health.
Final Thoughts: DIY TRT isn't for the faint of heart, but for those willing to do their homework and tread carefully, it can be a game-changer. With the right knowledge, a trustworthy source, and a supportive community, you can navigate this journey with confidence.
So, there you have it—my journey through the DIY TRT maze, complete with a trusty source and hard-earned wisdom. If you're considering taking the plunge or have your own experiences to share, drop a comment below. Let's keep the conversation going!
Stay informed, stay safe, and here's to reclaiming vitality on your own terms.
Cheers, Gainzville_11

I've been using a third-party wired controller on PC for my games, especially fighting games, and it's been dying a slow death. Dpad worked great as did the rest of the buttons but either the controller is showing what I paid for it (under $30 on Amazon) or I've been just abusing it; possibly both. Either way, I need to replace it.
I have an option to get a wireless official Xbox controller for $40. From what I've seen so far, I feel this may be my best option for a decent controller with a good dpad.
Is the Xbox wireless controller the best you can get for around $40 and useable on PC with a good dpad?

Hi! I am 21F, American, looking for men ~21-25. About me- I’m average height and slim- I am conventionally attractive. I prefer men on the taller side with a thin to athletic build. I have no tolerance for substance use/smoking/alcohol and looking for the same (social drinking is OK). I am an atheist and not looking for someone religious. I’m also not political. I am located on the East Coast but open to starting with a LDR with the right person. I was fortunate to have a stable, comfortable upbringing and have a very close relationship with my family- again, looking for someone with the same.
I earned my degree early. Seeking someone well-educated and driven in his career, and finances. I am heavily family oriented and value stability- 💍 and kids, a good education, etc. and leaning more traditional in this regard. My family is everything to me!
I am looking for a man I can trust and aspires to/believes in providing a good life for his partner (and eventually, children). I also value reliability, maturity, generosity, and proactivity- to me, actions and consistency are key. Lastly, all the love languages are important to me but Acts of Service is my #1.
In my free time I like to bake, paint, try new restaurants, shop, and video game (looking for my forever player 2!). Generally lean more towards being a homebody for solo plans but enjoy going out with friends to eat, shop, salon, etc. I also love to travel and hope to see as much of the world as I can together with my loved ones. And of course when I’m in a relationship I want to spend as much time as I can with my s/o :)
I value my time and don’t want to waste anyone else’s, either- DM me with a description if you are a match for what I am seeking (and I, you).

For me, this is a really odd time to make a post like this. This happened to me in 2020-2021 and I've basically entirely distanced myself from my abuser since then. But I've suddenly been having a lot of nightmares about the situation and it makes me wonder what my subconscious is still holding onto. Not to mention my social and emotional life have been in shambles for years indirectly because of it.
I'm 19 now, I was 15 in 2020 when it all started, and I was 12 when I first became a fan of this Youtuber's stuff. I'm also autistic and his artistic project had so thoroughly captivated me for so many years like nothing else in my life and I'm pretty sure that that makes it my then special interest. I drew a lot of fanart for myself for some time before I decided to put my fanart on the internet and eventually attract his attention when I was 15. He was in need of an artist and he brought me onboard to help him with his project. The workload was light and I was paid for my work and it was genuinely my dream job at the time. I had never aspired toward anything as hard as that, and honestly I still haven't.
The abuse I suffered is really difficult to explain. It was emotional and psychological and he manipulated me. It's made difficult by the fact that I was experiencing severe symptoms of mental illness (OCD and BPD) and was borderline delusional, and a lot of the conflict between us was because of me trying to forcibly change his beliefs and approach to his project. I was only 15/16 while this was going on, so I in no way was manipulating him nor did I have any power over him. But it makes it very difficult to talk about because in order to explain exactly how he abused me I have to admit some very specific and regrettable beliefs I had at the time. I know of course that it wasn't my fault and was mostly influenced by severe OCD and many abusive parties in my life, but it's still so hard to admit how delusional I used to be without it soiling somebody's image of current me. Anyway. As a kid I was susceptible to taking on my abusers' attitudes and mannerisms in the wake of their actions. I was hardly aware of it when I would do it. As a result, I hurt a lot of my friends at the time without realizing it until it was too late. They all cut me off over a year ago and I've had hardly anybody to talk to since. It makes it very hard to indulge in hobbies and new interests. I really do need a friend or few in my life who will egg on my budding interests, especially because I had to completely ditch my biggest special interest of all time because it was actively hurting me. Seriously, I can't stress enough the void in my soul (promise I'm not trying to sound edgy lol) not having a special interest to comfort and uplift me anymore. And I really need to be able to infodump to somebody about every new thing I get into in order to cultivate a potential new SPIN. Having every source of comfort in my life stripped away from me at the same time is soul-crushing. I also still miss my abuser from time to time. I recently became super interested in a game he had introduced me to and the yearning to talk to him again in hopes that he would become friends with me again consumed me and I actually did text him last year to tell him I'm doing much better now. The convo didn't go anywhere and ended as quickly as it started but I still really really regret it. I feel like it brought back something nasty in my subconscious and now I'm being haunted by my abuser all over again. I thought I had moved on, but it kind of feels like I haven't. It's weird. I'm not sure what to do or how to move on when apparently I can't even tell how I'm feeling. One last minor thing... I was considering making some sort of "callout" thing about him. I think the majority of this desire is just a deep loneliness and trying to gather some ounce of sympathy from the internet, honestly. That's kind of why I don't want to go through with it. That and of course because it's highly personal and embarrassing. But I keep seeing random posts online that passively reference his work and they seriously always jumpscare me. He used to be a somewhat popular Youtuber and a lot of people get nostalgic for his stuff I think. Pretty sure he's on some sort of hiatus right now but I cannot stand looking at his socials so I'm not going to double check that. Is it a good idea to make a video or textdump or something about how he abused me? So that maybe people can avoid him? Though that's not all too important to me, just something I've considered in passing.
Thanks so much for reading this lengthy-ass traumadump. Anyone who has advice or who wants to reach out, it's much appreciated. And to my fellow doomscrollers who have nothing to add, I hope this was a good read to pass the time ^_^

Title: The Lesson
Plot Summary:
The day starts like any other with Bluey, Bingo, and their friends playing an imaginative game in the backyard. They decide to turn the house into a grand "Castle of Fun," using pillows, blankets, and various household items to create their masterpiece. However, their excitement leads them to sneak into Dad's special workshop to borrow some tools and supplies that are strictly off-limits.
While the castle construction is a success, things take a turn when Bandit and Chilli discover the mess left behind in the workshop and a few broken items. Concerned about the disregard for the house rules and the potential danger of using tools without permission, they sit Bluey and Bingo down for a serious talk. Despite their usual lenient approach, Bandit and Chilli decide that this time, a grounding is necessary to help the girls understand the consequences of their actions.
Bluey and Bingo are disappointed and upset about their punishment, which means no TV, no playdates, and extra chores until further notice. The sisters initially feel it's unfair, but as the week progresses, they start to understand the importance of respecting boundaries and taking responsibility for their actions.
During their grounding, they find new ways to have fun and bond with each other. They create their own games using only their imagination and help each other with chores, making the best of their situation. After a few days, Bluey and Bingo have learned a valuable lesson about responsibility and safety.
In a touching conclusion, Bandit and Chilli acknowledge the girls' efforts and lift the grounding as a reward for their good behavior. The family comes together for a fun-filled day at the park, celebrating not just the end of the grounding, but the growth and maturity Bluey and Bingo have shown.

“Bingo!” The call echoed through the hall, followed by the collective groans of the other assembled Hellspawn. Askeraz the Malfeasant looked away from the trapped heroes and towards his demon army. They cowed.
“What was that?” Askeraz asked, his voice carried every shadow of the night.
“Uh, sorry, your Dark Lordliness, please ignore me.”
Askeraz looked at the heroes. He had been in the middle of his victory speech. Shouldn’t he just continue? This was his moment of triumph but-
“Let me see what you’re holding,” Askeraz commanded as he held out a fell hand toward the demons. The Demon that had yelled bingo, Kalim the Fleshrender, sheepishly handed the card to Askeraz, who began reading.
He was aghast at the first square.
“Tremble before me?” Askeraz asked, indignant. Based on the other squares, he’d already figured out what the card was. They were playing bingo with his speech but… “Tremble before me is a staple of the craft! A victory speech without it is a classless rant!”
“Sorry sir.”
“And beside it! ‘All Hope is Lost’. Pardon, you might as well be asking me not to use vowels!”
The heroes, trapped in the Soul Cage, were, almost, more confused than frightened. Almost.
“Sorry again, sir.”
Askeraz held out his free hand and collected another card. He repeated the process frantically, checking each and every entry that the Hellspawn had brought to the moment of his triumph.
That they were playing bingo right now? Bad enough, but considering victory was partially about celebration Askeraz could forgive party games. What he couldn’t forgive was the lack of understanding inherent in the cards. That had to be corrected now.
Askeraz waved an arm, and hellish magic swallowed the souls of the heroes. While they screamed, he approached his assembled generals.
“To begin, if you’re including ‘Behold my power’ on the card, you might as well have a free space. Konrad the Black, one of the original masters of dark triumphant speech, a wretched man who truly codified the forms of the modern art, said in his Soulbinding Treatise that a speech which does not include reverence to power, should not be considered a victory, nor a speech.”
Askeraz pulled out a large scroll for notes and continued. “Additionally the position of phrases on the grid completely ignore the accepted structure of the genre. For example, fundamental structural understanding is that a speech cannot have a reference to the power of light and dark within the opening of the monologue. It’s poor form. Both light and shadow motifs are central to the theming of closing statements. If you look into the research of Brimhilda Bladeheart—one of my favorite scholars of the craft—it’s clear her ideas on genre and managing audience expectation are central to my execution. I hope it’s clear at least. She’s an inspiration.”
Askeraz trailed off. There was just so much wrong. He snatched the cards away. He would show them. He would craft a tense game of bingo, where the chance of victory was equal on each card based on a proper understanding of the sacred art of villainous monologue. None of this new-age free-form hippy bullshit. Before he could make a game, though, there were more lessons to teach….
“And furthermore!”

So far I have been enjoying it, not deep enough Into my campaign to tell for certain or not if this has the amount of substance as something like Starforge which I consider one of deepest solo rpgs out there, anyway so far this does seem pretty deep, they seem to understand the lore, it has a good roster of goons to fight and Weird elder gods to attempt to fight, a spawn of yog suguth appeared in one of my shelters and drain a shit load of my sanity which around that time I rolled a 1 and a horde of undead and dark priest were storming my shelter, I lost one of my party members now I'm currently taking shelter in a mall that also has some weird shit going on so it's a very interesting rpg, it feels like a combination of Ironsworn and this other solo rpg game called Alone Against Fear which is a good thing it offers a nice grid system and decent amount of tables to keep a good cycle of events as you move from grid to grid and time keeping, so all in all I think it's worth the price, also is there anyone else here who have tried it? If so what are your thoughts?

AH didn't produce any audio recordings of substance to support her claims. The best she could do was play audio of JD moaning, JD vomiting, short clips without context, or excerpts she blatantly lied about.
Here is an explanation for some of the oddities in the audio recordings AH produced.

The 31st of December Audio

Exhibit	Title	create_date	media_modify_date
Def581	"12-31-15 clip 2"	D: 1992:09:18 T:09:48:03	D:2016:07:08 T:15:30:19
Plt365	"12-31-15 clip 7"	D:2032:01:28 T:14:38:11	D:2016:07:08 T:15:30:41
Def582	"12-31-15 clip 8"	D: 1976:09:15 T:23:35:47	D:2016:07:08 T:15:30:44
Plt366	"12-31-15 clip 10"	D: 2021:05:17 T:04:47:15	D:2016:07:08 T:15:30:51

The "title" in the metadata for an audio file is typically completed by the person or entity who creates, produces, or distributes the audio content.
create_date: This is the metadata tag indicating the date and time when the file was originally created.
media_modify_date: This is the metadata tag indicating the date and time when the media file was last modified.
The erroneous “create-date” of 1976, 1992, 2036, is indicative of metadata manipulation.
However, the "media_modify_date" for all states 2016:07:08. Meaning they were all last modified of the 8th July, 2016

• These four audio files were among seven brief audio recordings AH produced during the UK trial
• The only evidence suggesting they were recorded on December 31, 2015, is the title assigned by whoever created them (AH)
• AH made separate audio files for each clip and then deleted the original recording.
• It is impossible to verify the actual recording date because the original audio could never be found.

Transcript of Elaine desperately trying to get the clips admitted into evidence

EB: Your Honor, this is 581 and 582. These are between Mr. Depp and Ms. Heard. But we wanted to disclose, these are the two that are just partials. We could never find the full. We said that we were still looking at the time of Motion in Limine. Your Honor denied the motion to try to exclude them. We went back -- when we inherited this case two years ago, we inherited 1.3 million documents and, database. We had that completely searched, had IT people completely search it. We have not been able to find anything but partials on both. But those are partials and we claim partials here, but we don't have the full report. We've done everything we can to try to find it.

The Toronto Audio

Exhibit	Title	create_date	media_modify_date
Def839	7-8-16 clip 2	D:2023:02:16 T:09:28:51	D:2023:02:16 T:09:28:51

• Given that the create date & modify date were in the future at the time of trial we know they are incorrect
• The title given to this clip "7-8-16 clip 2" likely refers to when it was "created" i.e. 8th of July, 2016 (the same date the other clips were "created")
• AH cut this 13-minute and 46-second segment from the original and made a separate audio file.
• The original Toronto recording is 1 hour, 21 minutes, and 9 seconds long.
• During discovery for the US case, the original recording was located and subsequently disclosed to JD.
• The clip created by AH cunningly begins immediately after the exchange about her hitting JD in the ear.

In the original recording, we hear the following

JD: Do you want to smack me on the ear again? AH: I love you. JD: You wanna smack my ear again? So it f**kin' resounds in my f**kin' cranium. AH: I love you. JD: Would you like that? AH: I love you. JD: Huh? AH:: I love you and I'm sorry I hit you. I love you. Do you love me? JD: I love you too. No, no, but I don’t love you that much. AH: Yes, you do. JD: No I don’t. I do not love you that much, to give up myself.

In the version AH created on the 8th of July, 2016

AH: I love you. I’m sorry I hit you. AUDIO STARTS I love you. Do you love me? JD: I love you too. No, no, but I don’t love you that much. AH: Yes, you do. JD: No I don’t. I do not love you that much, to give up myself.

To avoid looking bad, AH started the recording midway through her sentence.
She did the same with THIS CLIP which also starts in the middle of her sentence.

AH: ...go "I f**ked up" and cry in my bedroom, after I dumped you a f**king week prior, a f**king week prior, after you be*t the s**t out of me. And then a week later you show up at my doorstep, in my room, saying you wanna say goodbye. Okay, say goodbye then.

I guarantee the words she spoke immediately prior would have also implicated her as the abuser.
______________

Edited Audio & the Kitchen Cabinet Video

Just as AH edited the kitchen cabinet video before leaking it, she also edited these audio clips.

CV: Ms Heard, you edited out the portions that made you look bad before sending it to TMZ. AH: You are very wrong about that. CV: You edited that video before you gave it to TMZ so that only Mr. Depp would look bad, yes AH: That's absurd. CV: Right in the middle of your divorce proceedings? AH: Again, you're very wrong.

• Likely intending to leak them to the media, she removed parts that made her look bad.
• AH recorded the complete audio clips, and JD did not have access to them.
• The divorce case's discovery process did not require these audios to be disclosed.
• Just like the kitchen cabinet video, JD wouldn't have had access to the unedited version to show how deliberately they were manipulated.
• AH erased the original December 31st recording so well that it couldn't be retrieved.
• Thankfully, the Toronto recording was found.

The idea that humans in large numbers lack competency, and so therefore a conspiracy would be practically impossible completely misses the point. Actually, the fact that humans are insanely incompetent and low-information is why conspiracies are everywhere and almost never go noticed. In fact, people DO speak up often and whistleblow and NO ONE LISTENS.
Part of the issue here is epistemological. We think we know about the world. Why do we think that? First of all, human brains are built to conceive of about 150 people around them. Urbanization breaks our brains, and because we're not built for it, we consistently process our impression of society wrong.
School and media are huge and very simply blunt instruments to provide us with a better impression of the massive urban society around us. Most of what we think we know comes from here. Yes, it's true that false information can be contradicted and humans actually can be quite logical with plain, clear facts. However, we have other social instincts which prevent this from happening.
We humans mostly tend to intuitively perceive what kinds of beliefs others have and give massive weight to that while filtering possibly complex or confusing facts in our heads. While some of us and some cultures are much more sophisticated and cynical about media, there are TONS of demographics (i.e.: young women) who psychologically interpret literally anything the media presents as representative of the actual tastes and preferences of that abstract 150 people the brain is built to perceive. Simply because the media exists and promotes one point of view, it means that this must be the position of those in the tribe with power.
Experienced, educated professionals will constantly filter inconvenient information in favor of adjusting to what the group believes. Smarter, 110-130 IQ "midwits" will actually recognize something is wrong, but will rationalize the emotional inconvenience and build explanations or narratives so they can cope. <110IQ people can't construct these rationalizations, and if they're low-IQ enough they can't even understand them, so this is why dumb people often perceive conspiracies that highly intelligent people observe, because the layer of rationalization doesn't appear to them. >140 IQ literally cannot use these rationalizations because their brains see right through them and you have to be a psychopath to ignore what you see. 110-130 IQ people ACTUALLY BELIEVE these rationalizations, that's the point. They ego invest in them and will fight their own kin to squash anyone noticing malicious behavior systemic to institutions. This is partly because, these midwits as the supreme managerial class, so effectively rationalize, they can operate in corrupt environments without being aware of the corruption. Thus they are rewarded immensely, given titles or big salaries, and become personally invested in the fraud while also consciously believing there's no fraud.
As an adult who has noticed all this from experience in the military, ecclesiastical, academic, corporate (never medical sadly) sectors, these patterns seem universal. You know the store manager who has the keys to lock up? Well, when they open up to their buddies and drink a little of the merchandise and throw a little party or whatever, if corporate can't tell, then why wouldn't they? Not everyone who has power will abuse it, but anywhere power is held, someone will abuse it. Abuse of power is a very casual thing, and at a minimum, some percentage of human personality types will always do it. The go-getters and doers especially trend toward a willingness to abuse power, and that's part of the problem. Other humans have specific instincts to submit to the powerful and almost take pleasure when they are on the good side of a psychopath who is abusing a third party.
Here you might say, "Gee, you have a cynical view of humanity." Sorry, the day a college kid can stand up and assert a point of view that's not social consensus, and have even 10% of the class change their minds and support him merely from considering the argument, then maybe I'll be more optimistic. No, people are cowards who are constantly trying to fit in, mostly most people are pretty dumb, and actually most people disdain those who refuse to fit in and don't care at all about the group's corruption. See, kids who are instinctively socially breaking from their parents will oppose the society of their parents. But kids will never oppose, not ever, not at scale, the social momentum of other kids unless there are other kids of clear divisions like racial or religious.
Therefore, I would propose that not only is society full of conspiracies at every level, but actually society functions on the basis of conspiracy. Small group loyalties and hierarchies form nodes around which institutional structure can build larger organizations. I was in the military which is full of formal authority, laws and rules. The reality of it is all that was a distraction to make people put up with a system that is more about little cliques among officers and so forth that sort everything out behind closed doors. Sure, norms, laws, rules, training smooth things out, allow interchangeability, but real decisions are made selfishly by some leader and they have quidproquo with colleagues and that bubbles up to the top. So whatever stupid beliefs they have about their organization or its values, they take with them to the top where someone like a general wields real power. Yet, such a person is sort of "endowed" with that position by his clique-community, and so they must fight for that community's values in the confines of that community's worldview, which might be totally inaccurate.
With this in mind, here is your final graduation thought experiment.
I've tried to understand the Ukraine war.
Right now Russia is playing on its former Soviet era diplomatic network so it's leaning into "white neocolonialists who think they have superior values exploit brown people because of theft and racism." But they're also simultaneously playing the newer, libertarian narrative of a progressive managerial elite which has hijacked the Western bureaucracy. It's sort of insane how they do this. Like how they exalt Orthodox religion but also insist Stalin did nothing wrong, which not even the post-Stalin USSR believed.
The anti-neocolonialist narrative says that rich whites want to steal resources from poor browns. This is factually what's happening, but the tragic irony is that many third world countries probably couldn't develop or benefit from these resources without first world help. So, there's both an argument against neo-colonialism, but also an argument that it's not like this big scam so much as a natural consequence. What it boils down to for me is where war, jackal economics or espionage is used. That's clearly wrong, and I think a lot of poor countries would be doing a lot better without these interventions, although I don't think they'd be rich and developed.
Well, the West actually is anti-neocolonialist too. Globalists want smart cities, AI economy, UBI, CBDC. They want rural white Americans to be the same level of poor as rural Africans, and for the gains of exploiting natural resources to be concentrated among a global elite, which although unfair, is not exclusive to borders. The geopolitical unfairness of neocolonialism will be addressed by Globalism. And its elite will be very small compared to the global proletariat they intend to have.
This is all very ironic since the globalist machine is playing the Euro-chauvinism card to appeal to Euro elites, and also the American exceptionalism card to appeal to American nationalists. They're playing whatever cards they have, like Russia.
So this is all I know: the West is lying to some of its lesser elites by paying lip service to their values. Russia is playing its old USSR geopolitics card while also playing a trad Orthodox card, while also playing an anti-globalist card.
I KNOW that the West is globalist, the leadership that is. So NATO must lose, because the globalists will certainly win if NATO wins. However, I fear the other side might also be globalists and the whole conflict is an anti-white, anti-Western charade meant to displace the old Euro elites and American nationalists.
That's the irony. Globalists control the West, but have to constantly deal with these older elite factions, so they could be using the war as a purge in a way.
It's hard to explain why the globalist-American leadership needed this conflict so bad. Probably it's all a shitshow gone wrong. This is where my explanation of how conspiracies function comes into play.
Neocons thought the would reinvigorate interest in the military but it hasn't. Like a new patriotism and interest in military power and funding.
Ukrainian Jews might have thought they could purge the Slavs and make a second Jewish homeland but that's probably off the table due to the failed counter offensive.
Russia's hopes of exercising their historical and cultural hegemony to settle the conflict have failed, when Ukrainian deep state operatives assured them they were still on the same old team.
Stupid nationalists who are somehow blind to the globalists and think the American economy is "doing great" probably thought this could be a knockout blow to Russia's meddling in certain geostrategic resource deals that affected American hegemony over Europe. This is a legacy of the British "can't let Europe become a world power" prerogative. The kind of dumb monkey legacy deep state geopolitical prerogatives that these idiots cling to while ignoring the other players around them.
So there are members of the British and American diplomatic-military-intelligence communities who are seemingly oblivious to what globalism is, or the imminent collapse of the Anglo-American financial hegemony. They actually believe the financial journalism. They are playing out a specific strategy from their class or clique or culture's history which is about keeping Europe down. So they are acting from that vantage and are acting as a conspiracy.
There are Euro elites acting from the vantage of actual vestigial colonialist attitudes where they actually think that Europe of all places is a bastion of Western values. While this class is completely morally degenerate, what they really mean is there is a class of elites in Europe that actually thinks the whole world outside of white Europe are actually just dumb monkeys. Not metaphorical. They are committed to all this, as a conspiracy that exercises influence as a conspiracy, because of this idiotic, low-information attitude.
Then there's the globalists who have all kinds of plans, and have even got Russia and China and India to adopt some of their financial technologies in preparation for their Great Reset. And this is done because of their massive influence over global business. As a conspiracy. And yet, while massively influential, they don't outright control Russia or China and their plants are constantly falling short. I'd say the globalists are trying to act as a conventional "illuminati" style conspiracy.
But the point is what I said in the beginning. Even these powerful, highly competent cliques have huge blind spots and huge power gaps because humans are in fact highly incompetent in large numbers.
I get a clique trying very hard to influence things and just falling short of being able to do it, but what boggles my mind is that a lot of these conspiracies who KNOW they are conspiracies who KNOW the world is a stage for the common sheep and KNOW the basic nature of deep state and intelligence games that are played. Even these people will not see past their own biases or egos, and fail to see lies in front of their own faces.
Because conspiracy is natural to humans. We do it naturally, so we engage in illicit collusion and cliquishness, but we don't necessarily see or realize where it's happening outside of our brain's 150 person social perception. Which to me is the oddest thing.

I have two toddlers. None of them have been vaxxed. Even though I feel I am a responsible parent, sometimes I get into conversations with pro-vaccine people who can really bring me down to a level where I feel just like they say, a child abuser neglecting children.
I don’t want to feel that way, but I’m also not a doctor, I don’t trust doctors 100% though.
I just had a feeling, injecting my kids with unknown substances wasn’t right at all. Knowing many children have died bc of that, and that absolutely no one would care about my children, just made me decide not to comply.
Everyone criticizes me. It’s very hard to deal with that, other parents, family, the school, etc. I stand my ground though.
Please let me know I’m on the right side of things.
I want to do what’s best for my children.
Thank you for the support

I experienced intense medical trauma throughout an entire decade of my childhood on top of at home mental and emotional abuse. I am now away from that home and much healthier, but have had it pointed out to me that I seem to lack the normal amount of hobbies or interests or preferences for adults, and I also have trouble making friends.
As a kid I had many things I was interested in at different points, and was frequently made fun of and ridiculed by the adults in my life. I would often be cut off in the middle of a sentence with a "Who cares" or "One track mind", so by the end of middle school I kept everything in my life to myself, until eventually I had no hobbies or interests at all.
I was also an incredibly sick child and was told more than once that I was also very selfish. This led me to never wanting to intrude on other people or cause any more issues than I already caused thanks to my supposed selfishness and illness. This means my only preference is "Whatever you want!" Honestly, I'm not even sure what my favorite food is.
Now, as an adult, I have no hobbies or interests past being in college. I care very much about my major, but it is an unpopular one, so I don't talk about it with anyone other than my partner and best friend, and even then it is very little and no more than a few sentences. Never a conversation.
When I leave the house, I consider my favorite place to be the library, where I can check out books relating to my field of study. I don't talk to anybody unless forced to despite how lonely I feel, so I only have my partner and best friend in my life as companions. I think this is because I was bullied as a child by my peers, because for the better part of a decade I was on a medicine type that had me about 20 pounds overweight (I am very short, so the weight on my frame was noticeable and also not in a pleasing distribution). I was a very cute young child, but the medicine made me an "ugly" adolescent and teen, which is a mindset I still find myself stuck in despite no longer being on that medicine and now receiving compliments semi-frequently (in relation to how little I actually leave the house).
My partner has urged me to find a community for a hobby or common interest, but I have literally nothing. I don't do a craft, I only play single-player games, and I'm not athletic. My social skills are also incredibly stunted, and I literally shake and sweat when meeting someone new. I've also been told that I have bad RBF, which I developed as a pre-teen to get people to leave me alone, but now I can't turn off.
Has anyone else dealt with this lack of personal identity despite no longer being in a bad situation? If so, do you have any advice for me on how to find who I am again? It has been over 10 years since I had a hobby or group of friends, and I have no idea where to begin.

"swain is balanced"
"his w is hard to hit"
"q is easy to get out of"
"dot dmg"
"ult costs mana"
"outplayed XP"
"zhonya's outplay boom!"
"swain is hard to 1v5 with"
"cant beleive i got that penta"
"what is my luck, always end up getting fed"
"#outsustained"
Swain mains will often say these bull** lines thinking they're cool and good a this game when in truth they're just a bunch of freelo abusers, blazing off to diamond 1.