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First Previous Wiki
Ezeonwha was walking down a long hallway. The dry and plain painted walls and the pure white lighting of the lower levels of the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office helped to frame the dingy realities of those who could only afford these floors. Not even capable of having windows, these were for those who were the cheapest of the cheap or those who mingled with them. He'd passed several Guides on the way in, their claws echoing in the halls as a sign of authority in this lawless land.
Here, mediocrity was king, and he was a loyal servant. He drew his cloak closer about his neck, unwilling to reveal himself to those who weren't already equipped to see through it all. He was famous enough to be an abduction target if he let his guard down. This place was no exception, though Justicar tried to make them such. Too much security on the higher levels and too little on the lower levels. That was the way of things.
Another hallway, this one marked with bullet holes. Two contractors and a Guide were discussing the pricing of the fix project when he turned the corner. Their voices quieted to nothing, the stillness pressing down upon them with the same intensity as the false lighting. Ezeonwha clacked his jaws, giving them a low bow before continuing on his way. He saw the Guide's eyes light up with the sign of his implants getting a reading. It was another impromptu way of tracking via facial recognition, but it was an ancient practice.
Nothing was new about what the Guides did; only how many of them seemed to be on general patrol. Had Justicar hired more of them or actually done full conversions for all of them? Those arm cannons surely weren't cheap or ethical to insert into unwilling participants. And giving a victim a gun they couldn't be disarmed of was a very bad idea, even for Elders. And Justicar was better than most Elders when it came to abject stupidity. He'd likely only been dropped a few hundred times as a child versus the more likely Elder average of a few thousand.
Ezeonwha chuckled at his internal joke, heading deeper underground into the complex. He was going to a certain meeting, and it would be best not to be late. Even if the Guides tracked him, it wouldn't be negative. The group he had been approached by a few days ago wasn't a terror group. He'd looked them up. They dealt in 'freedom and liberation from all chains.'
The Eyes Of Liberty had focused upon Penny as their latest propaganda target and perhaps as a valuable ally in their fight against all tyranny. Though such a flowery message was likely steeped in idealism for the lower ranks, with more pragmatic and likely richer inner circle elites and leaders ensuring the pot would always simmer but never boil or grow cold. That was the way movements such as these managed to skirt the line between inaction and terrorism.
It was a dangerous thing to do. But these were dangerous times. If Penny left, he'd die. Someone with a grudge would kill him. It was a given, and he'd made peace with it now. He needed to get to work, to help others like him and those worse off, with just a small piece of the meager time he had left.
He was in the system as a friend of Penny, so little scrutiny would fall on him as he came and went. He had a new friend, one who was very interested in connecting to Penny.
The offer had come through his communicator, and he'd answered it given its interesting title. After a lengthy discussion about their goals for him and Penny, he'd agreed to at least have a meeting. He didn't tell them that he had a tracker from Phoebe, which would 'be impossible to miss' if things went badly. He knew the value he had, which was why one of the androids was also accompanying him under the guise of being a Sprilnav.
The android was 'walking' on all fours, its mechanical motion entirely silent. It was obscured by a wave of holograms and hard light holograms that would ensure that it wouldn't be considered suspicious beside him. His only guard was a capable one, and Phoebe had all the confidence of an AI who knew that the destruction of her android would only be an inconvenience for her.
Ezeonwha came to an unmarked door with a well-worn door frame. One knock. One pause. Two knocks. Another pause. Four knocks. He waited, and the door swung open. Eight Sprilnav greeted him warily but warmly, their eyes shifting to Phoebe.
The inside of the room was a dull red, coming from a pair of lights in the center of the ceiling that cast dark shadows near the edges. The whole room felt dark and dangerous, and the walls were lined with guns, computers, and several drones. Shelves and drawers were neatly stacked against the wall, as well as five couches and four double beds with ladder access to the top portions.
Bags of food rested atop a trash compactor unit, and the room service button on the inner side of the wall that Ezeonwha could see in the mirror was worn down to the raw metal. No paint jobs here, only grit and business. The room faintly smelled of body odor and assorted foods. Not entirely unpleasant, but also not what he'd expected from a group with sich a flamboyant name. Perhaps they worked in cell-based units. And that was another thing.
Minds were visible in the distance of the mindscape, but the people here were huddled together mentally. They appeared to be haphazard, but Ezeonwha recognized an old army-type defensive formation a mere step from each of their positions. They were more than they appeared. Though based on how their room looked, they probably weren't veterans, just decently trained.
As they walked through the doorway, a scanner activated. One of the Sprilnav, wearing a headset with numbers and letters swirling on the inner side of the visor, called out: "Phoebe android. Commando variant. Risk assessment: Certain Death. Ezeonwha. Carrying two pistols, one hidden in the pack on his left, and the other tucked inside a strap near the lower bottom of his chest."
That made them all pause, sizing each other up. Ezeonwha smiled nervously, failing terribly to break the building tension once again. His nerves started to get to him, but finally, Phoebe spoke. "Well, friends. I, for one, am happy to talk of the business of liberty. Tell us, what do you have in mind for my friend Ezeonwha?"
"It is not about him, AI. It is about the freedom all sentient beings deserve, and which we shall bring to the galaxy no matter if we are alive or dead."
"An honorable goal to strive toward," Phoebe said.
"Thank you. Your words are quite kind for your type."
"I didn't know I had one," Phoebe replied. "But thank you."
Ezeonwha turned his head toward the Sprilnav with all the fancy equipment.
"What is the best way for me and Penny to help in the fight?"
"The best way would be for you to start killing the gang leaders you come across. Barring that, have Penny ignore the graveyards, and continue freeing the slaves as she ought to. The dead have their freedom; the living need her work more."
"I agree with my companion," another of them said. "So far, Penny has done more for the fight for justice than any other on Justicar in generations, so it is a terrible thing to ask more, but we must ask. Even knowing the terrible toll it would have if she loses the Judgment, Sprilnav are at stake."
"People are at stake, you mean," Ezeonwha said. "There is no need to bring species into this."
"There would not be, but it is still a clear factor," another of them said, a female who looked more shifty in her gaze and demeanor. The Eyes of Liberty seemed like one of those groups with too much division.
"Do you disagree with each other often?" Ezeonwha asked innocently.
"Here and there," the tech guy said. "Not often enough to be a problem, and not when what matters is at stake."
"But that is the thing. How can you agree on when something that matters is a stake?"
"Is this a test?"
"Why would it be? Think of it as a genuine concern," Ezeonwha said. "To associate with your group, I have to be certain it will be resilient to change and risks escalating in the future. If the gangs cannot strike at Penny, they will pick the next best targets. Currently, that is me. If I associate with you in a way they can find out, and I assure you they will find out eventually, you all may be at risk as well. And your group's seemingly cell-based design also means large scale mobilization is difficult, ineffective, and risks severe coordination issues which cannot be quickly or safely remedied without changing core security features of it."
"You deduced all of that from context? You are smart, Ezeonwha. And have a good brain in your head. Everlasting knows we need one of those between all of us."
They all shared a laugh.
"I am not as young as I may look," Ezeonwha said. "Penny is not properly learned of the danger that faces us here. I am. The Underground will kill me when this is over. Do you want to die alongside me, all for your beliefs?"
Silence descended again. Ezeonwha kept the pressure on them when one of them stepped forward. "For freedom and liberty? Yes. I would die for that."
"As would I."
"And I."
They all declared the rest in orders that followed the patterns Ezeonwha was noticing. There were variances in their levels of belief and faith in their purpose. Each person had a different level of value difference, which meant that their lives would be worth more or less comparatively.
Cohesion was weaker, too. Not a full defector team, but likely pieces of several. Was that by design from a higher up leader, or was that just circumstance? Another thing to figure out later, that wasn't critical yet, but he would know before he truly went on any missions with them, if he did at all.
He suspected running messages to Penny would be the majority of their tasks. The quality of intelligence the Eyes of Liberty had offered was substantial. Perhaps enough for Penny to turn herself from a major annoyance to the gangs into an actual existential threat. With Justicar's swarming protection of the Fort Court and the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office, there was a limited amount of things that even the gangs could do. And if the rumors were correct, a Progenitor would be partaking in the trial.
"To be clear, if I join up with you, Phoebe would come too."
"Why would we let an AI join us?"
Phoebe smiled. "Without me, you'll die in this fight. You have trained for around 2000 days. You're acceptable combatants, as is Ezeonwha. But you are fighting in a city, and underneath it. You need to know how to keep a low profile. You need to know how to move through a crowd, get in and out. And you need to keep collateral damage to a zero, or the gangs will use you like they have others who had your purpose and were less careful to justify their 'protection' continuing. If you march in there and kill 50 slavers, if you kill a few slaves or a single bystander in the process, your credibility will be smeared. And frankly, with me on your team, you won't get blown up by an IED when you try clearing your first room in a fortress."
"IED?" One of them asked, while the rest digested her statement, going through various levels of offended looks.
"Your translator is too cheap. Improvised explosive device. Here, that can be old engines, reused oil, cracked plastic, frictional fuel bombs, circuit extruders, sodium splash grenades, as well as the more military style attacks they can pack, from small micro rockets all the way up to lower level fission or fusion bombs. Though if you're in a fight with those things involved, you're already dead."
"Why?"
"Because unless you're Elders, or holograms, a nuke will kill you whether you're right next to it or just inside the same shield. They concentrate the thermal pulse, so your bones would be ash before the pain hit your eyes."
"And what protection could you bring against that?"
"Telling you it's there before you start the attack. That is, if you listen to me. I value your lives over that of this android, but also I value Ezeonwha over all of you combined. I will not prevent him from doing this, but I will have you all know the risks involved."
"We are prepared, Phoebe. We have done much of the training you say, though we do not believe the gangs would plant explosive devices in their own fortresses. There is too much risk around that, with betrayals so common. However, the minefields we have scouted are easy to defeat with the right tactics. Perhaps you can give us a briefing on those, too?"
A challenge.
"I can, depending on how long you wish to do this for. But I have the stamina for either hours or weeks, depending on which you choose."
"What of your batteries?"
"They are of sufficient quality," Phoebe assured.
"I hope so."
Their tech guy nodded, more numbers flashing on his visor. Ezeonwha hoped he had a different way of display, like through an implant or something, for the missions in darker areas. The Underground was, by its name, not a place where much natural light was to be found. And the gangs controlled all the power systems in their territory. It was another part of the racket.
"Why aren't you guarding Penny?"
Phoebe's back straightened, a subconscious posture change to make her seem more confident. Ezeonwha caught the tactic for what it was, though without extensive knowledge of bipedal forms, it was less likely the surrounding Sprilnav knew it.
"Penny proved before a trillion eyes she's capable of fighting Elders, Progenitors, and a Dreadnaught Captain. Not to mention her immense power. I can shoot bullets, but she can literally snatch them out of the air and eat them. She has her own way of doing things, and it is a good way."
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Penny landed in the rubble and headed for the Vaquah with a trail of survivors behind her. Many of them, she could recognize the marks of slavery on, with numbers or brands on their skin or just the trauma crouching in their eyes dulled by the pain of a long life in a work camp. Penny went through the wreckage to the shield surrounding the rubble and the defining line between the rest of the city and the destruction. Several news drones flew above her.
More were arriving from various directions. The soft footsteps grew into a constant drumming sound, like a beating heart of doom. Penny marched with them, heading to the spaceport. A large medical operation there quickly rerouted many of its various branches to the most injured freed slaves.
Penny pressed her considerable psychic energy on the entire group, accelerating their healing, slowing bleeding, and generally repairing their bodies and cells from the trauma they'd suffered. But the cloud over their heads did not brighten. The atmosphere remained tense and mournful. Many of them had lost friends, family, and more. She had no right to ask them to feel any different.
She had freed them, that was all. They were not her servants. She was not their ruler.
Several of them came up to her, offering thanks in the small ways they could. Kind words. Attempts at hugs. Even offers of devout prayer and worship, which Penny respectfully declined. She knew, as did most of them, that veneration for her deeds was inevitable. She didn't want to be seen encouraging it at all, since this was a public place where many eyes were upon her.
She knew that it would be misconstrued as a threat if she did. Religions were some of the most major threats entrenched powers could face if not properly co-opted by the state to suit their needs. And here, the 'state' was a military dictatorship billions of years old, ripened with corruption, money, and the immortality of Elders sporting technology beyond any other in the galaxy.
The sky was blue with shields overhead. The Vaquah hung in the distance, its thrusters gently burning to keep it aloft. A trail of shuttles linked the massive ship with several spaceports, including this one. Penny watched the freed Sprilnav get on it one by one, promising themselves to a new life aboard her ship. Technically, they were citizens of the Autonomous Peoples' Stars.
That protection, Penny knew, was why the Vaquah and its innocent inhabitants were still intact. Elders already had hired mercenaries to attack it. They'd failed, thanks to Rimiaha and Penny, but also the defenses of Kashaunta's Grand Fleet when it was in higher orbit. Kashaunta, despite her willingness to use Penny as she would, also had a certain intelligence and empathy. It was highly selective, and only money and power seemed to flip that switch.
But Penny needed the Elder, and Kashaunta only had use for her as an asset. She palmed the new communicator Kashaunta had issued her after the last one's destruction. Kashaunta's hologram appeared. It looked around, noticing the news drones in the air.
"Not here."
"Where?"
"You will know."
In the mindscape, a Sprilnav appeared on Penny's layer. They felt odd to her, almost like the minds of certain humans high up in the hivemind's network. Penny greeted the Sprilnav warmly.
"Hello."
"Queen and Elder Kashaunta requests your presence on her flagship."
"Very well."
In reality, Penny looked around at the crowd. She waited until it dwindled to nothing, and then spoke.
"Displace."
Conceptual energy twisted, and she stood on Kashaunta's flagship, though nearer to the edge than she'd expected. The Elder was waiting for her in an outfit that looked much like pajamas, though they were under a few armor pieces that appeared anything but decorative. Now that Penny noticed it, it was the same sort of armor that Yasihaut had worn to their last encounter, which interfered with conceptual energy. The Sprilnav were highly advanced. She wondered just how far their technology could go. She'd heard mentions of some ships having artificial gravity, and of nanites and programmable matter. But nothing certain.
"Hmm," Kashaunta said, giving Penny a once over. "You have come back. Shall I assume you are still my ally?"
"Nervous, are we?"
"Nervous is what you should be, Penny. The Judgment is coming. Ten days. Indrafabar and Justicar will both be on the court as High Judges. That is not good for us at all. So I figured a bit of prudence was in order. I have thought long and hard about this, and with the great battles of our time so fast approaching, I figure it is time to mend our relationship before the chasm grows any wider."
Kashaunta motioned to a special looking sword sheath on her back. Slowly, she drew a sword. A Soul Blade. Penny began to draw up her armor.
"Oh, I am not wishing for a fight, Penny. I know the damage you could do, even in my sanctum in the sky. Tell me, do you know how Soul Blades are forged?"
"No."
"Good. And tell me, do you know why they draw so much power to swing, even for Elders and beings as capable as us?"
"I have a few theories."
"I am sure you do," Kashaunta said. "But here is the thing. Soul Blades are typically weapons assigned to highly promising Elders, or even Progenitors. Filnatra, undisputed sword master that she is, can wield them as easily as breathing. If I were to swing this blade, there would be no drawback. Why?"
"Because you own that Soul Blade."
"Because this Soul Blade is mine. It is not just something I own. I own around seven or so more Soul Blades, with some weapons nearing their quality lying in my various vaults even now. You did not detect them, because I willed that not to be. I need you to understand this, Penny. You have power. You have might. But you are not invincible. My Soul Blade, if it struck you, would not cutely separate Nilnacrawla or Cardinality from you. Nor would your speeding space entity be able to block this blade with his flesh. If this cut you, it would release unending agony upon you before you exploded in a burst of burnt gore."
Penny sighed. "There is no need to threaten me. Allies do not threaten each other."
"But you do not see me as an ally. You see me as your means to get through the Judgment. You believe I see you as nothing more but a linear singularity maker, and perhaps a passing curiosity I'm backing on a whim. You neglect to imagine that there might be firmer reasons why I back you, and why more Elders are getting drawn into this conflict. You believe I am comfortable with showing you my more pragmatic and ruthless sides because I am comfortable with the fact that you cannot harm me. That you would not dare to do so, when you need my assistance so badly. That I might even be aiming to normalize my 'new' self with you."
"That is hardly my belief alone."
"Is it now."
Kashaunta grinned. There was no warmth in her gaze.
"Nilnacrawla," Kashaunta said. "Cardinality. Exile. Come out and show yourselves. You are being rude as guests."
Exile detached from Penny's head. He grew into the shifting array of fractals and shapes she was more familiar with. What had once grated on her eyes did so no longer. Kashaunta stared at the speeding space entity for ten seconds, then looked back up at Penny.
"He will not work on us. I will cover his form with holograms if he walks through my ship out of courtesy for my workers and crew, if he cannot."
"I am capable, Queen Kashaunta."
"You are quite knowledgable, aren't you?" Kashaunta mused, looking at him hungrily. "Oh, how I wonder what secrets you have in your head. How many of ours do you know?"
"I will not be taken as a hostage," Exile said.
"You will not because I decide not to," Kashaunta said. "Formally, our species are still at war. There is no treaty."
"The Sp'rkial'nova no longer exist."
"Yes, they do," Kashaunta said. "The name was discontinued for use regarding the lesser specimens we created. But I can assure you, Exile, if you wish to go by that name here, that we still do exist. I am a Sp'rkial'nova in the flesh. In the blood. In the mind. In the soul."
"Say what you will, Sprilnav. It changes nothing."
"On that I agree. Though our views on how things are may differ, and yours is wrong, your opinion is not valuable enough to matter."
She turned to Penny. She would have defended Exile, but he gave her a simple shake of his head area.
Nilnacrawla formed out of psychic energy in front of Penny. Cardi did the same beside her. Kashaunta tapped a claw on the ground. Tables and chairs appeared. A chef brought in food that looked passable and a few decent attempts at human cuisine.
"We do not have to eat, though I would expect that all of you at least sit at the table. We will discuss our grievances, and how to solve them before we proceed with the future. We shall first go to the matter of the Alliance. Penny, many in their number wish to establish contact with you. Do you agree to this? If so, I will add their communicator numbers to the translation program I have reserved for your personal use, in case your own device needs another sudden replacement."
"I agree."
"Good. A first step of diplomacy, I would say. Agreement. Now, Nilnacrawla, you look like you have something to say to me. What is it?"
"Free Meridia."
"Meridia was detonated by planet cracker during the 139th Sector 9 Border War. I am sorry more could not be done."
A cold draft of air rushed out of Nilnacrawla's nose. He glared at her. "You let them die."
"I did not. A Grand Fleet was defending that star system, and three came to lay siege. I am many things. A tactician, a queen, an Elder. But I am not a god. I cannot perform miracles. I evacuated 30 billion people from that world and its surrounding stations before the planet crackers hit it. 4 trillion more souls died in that blast. The best I can do is to offer an apology."
"That will never be enough for what you did. If you had never established your nation, they would still be alive."
"They would be slaves. Chattel slaves, not that cute little 'wage slavery' concept privileged people throw around. Perhaps I should remind you just how much darker that reality would have been for your female descendents, specifically. I am a brutal warlord, a dictator with an iron fist. But my claws do not squeeze nearly as tightly as I could. Metrics say that I could extract at least 370% more profit from my people if I simply enslaved them. But despite the shock this may bring to you all, I do have principles. The Autonomous Peoples' Stars are my people. My nation. My empire, if you think I'm imperialist. But I protect them as best I can."
Nilnacrawla's cold anger didn't lessen. Penny placed a calming hand on his front left thigh. He blinked. He let out a long, pained sigh. And he bowed his head to her. Not to Kashaunta, but to Penny.
"There is no need to be cruel."
"My language was accurate, Penny. He is a strong Elder. Everlasting knows he's stronger than most of these fools. Nilnacrawla was and is a hero of the Source war. I respect him enough not to mince words, or to give platitudes. Coddling is for babies. Nilnacrawla is far more mature."
Kashaunta turned to Cardi. "You have been remarkably silent in this, concept."
"I have."
"A wonderfully succinct statement. Perhaps you can shorten it further. But nevertheless, you and I will be working together with Penny much more in the near future. Rest assured, if you refuse to become more independent, you will be nothing more than a crutch for her to rely on before leaving her to fall when you are ripped away."
"When, Elder? I would like to think your protection is sufficient."
"I am sure the truth is quite the opposite, dear. I will now get to the point. Penny needs to move faster, and needs to break out of her shell. She needs to be pushed to do more. She has signed a binding treaty, which shows she is capable of more than barbarian aliens, as some Elders would call her. You, Cardinality, will help her be a high achiever. To do this, you need to learn more about your own history.
That is the theme of the year, after all. History. My history, Penny's history, Sprilnav history, and even Gaia's history, it would seem."
"Gaia? What do they have to do with all of this?" Penny asked.
"Oh, you don't need to worry about that."
"Excuse me? You don't get to decide that, Kashaunta. You will tell me. I refuse to be coddled, like you say. I demand the respect I am owed."
"You forget yourself, Penny."
"I remember myself, actually. I am all I need to be. I can become all I need if I must. You can hold your backing against me all you want, but you won't withdraw it. As you said, more binds you and I than mere money and ideology."
"And if you're wrong?"
"Then I've doomed my species and my nation to war, and this planet to the full power of my wrath."
"Wrath, Penny. Wrath. The Sprilnav have many words for anger, rage, hatred. There is the desire for vengeance, in varying degrees. There is that for justice, which does differ. And that for belonging. I know you believe you are standing up to me as a way to assert your own authority in this relationship of ours. You believe I see you as inferior, and will pull back my help when it is profitable for me. I will not offer you the consequences of what your words could mean.
You already know them, and that argument is as stale as your view on us Elders. I will say this once, Penny. You are the Champion of Humanity. The apex predator of your planet, the only one mostly in charge of an Alliance that does more than merely dream of overthrowing us. It is easy for me to say you are not a threat, though I do not ignore the threat you and your nation are trying to become. Gaia will be a part of your movement, but even my information is not entirely complete. I will not mislead you by claiming I know Gaia's link to this, just that there likely is one.
And I am not unreasonably petty. I am willing to put all our animosity behind us and start anew. Even if you are not willing to do the same, I am willing to make this work for us. You have more people to care for than just the Alliance, now. Do not forget them."
"A lot of words that mean nothing."
"Because you heard, but did not listen. Perhaps it will be easier this way, Penny. I want you to win."
"Explain."
"You wish to overthrow the current Sprilnav led order of the galaxy. Your path to that will likely be through mass slave revolt. A viable strategy that I could spread far beyond just this planet. And I actually agree with you. This Judgment, this utter insanity around the Alliance and your species has shown me the truth. The Elders as a class and a species cannot be trusted to rule any longer. We need new leaders. Better leaders."
"And yourself?"
"As the hypocrite that I am, and the power-hungry ruler of the Sprilnav, I would obviously exclude myself from that number. Let's be realistic. The Sprilnav will never accept a non-Elder ruler. If you wish to see what our insurgencies would be like, imagine the 2090s Struggles of Asia. Expand that to billions of planets, large and small. Countless ships and space stations. We have more collective ships than you have people. And as your military planners know, there is no such thing as an unarmed ship. Without us, without me, your plans are stillborn. Your galactic Alliance or whatever you make will fall to pieces without proper counseling. In essence, my offer to you, and you alone, is this. The galaxy, for the Sprilnav."
"Who backs your offer, with the power to give it?"
Progenitors Lecalicus and Nova appeared in the room.
"I back Kashaunta," Lecalicus wheezed.
"I observe her offer, and wish it a proper outcome," Nova said.
"Thank you, esteemed Progenitors," Kashaunta said, standing just to bow to them. Penny stared at Nova, balling her fists.
"There will be time for battle later," he said. "But not now. Hear out her request. She does not make it lightly."
The Progenitors disappeared.
"If I accept your offer, it will be on a written record."
"No. It will not be, because if that record is written, my nation will be facing war on all sides. A better idea would be for us to keep this under wraps."
"Perfect for betrayal," Nilnacrawla muttered.
"It would be, yes. But consider the second part of this situation, Nilncrawla. If word of this galactic offer, not just the Pact, were to get out, which is why two Progenitors who know the price of interference were called here, it would mean the deaths of Penny and all her kind. Or do you forget what rapidly approaches us?"
Nilnacrawla frowned. "I did. I apologize, Penny."
Kashaunta spoke up again.
"Penny. You believe I will betray you. So I make an offer of collateral. An offer so unbelievably sacred for us Elders that many would recoil at the mere thought of it. Now that you have signed a backed treaty, you are fully qualified."
Kashaunta grabbed her Soul Blade and presented it to Penny.
"What does this mean?"
"Nilnacrawla, tell her," Kashaunta said. "She will trust your mouth more than mine."
"Bonded Soul Blades are priceless artifacts," Nilnacrawla said. "To offer one to another is the ultimate gesture of trust and respect among many martial Sprilnav cultures. It can also allow for a mind bridge, a soul pact, or a proposal for marriage between two great houses, martial families, or Elders of great wealth and power. To offer this to a human... to anyone... is an ultimate sign of backing, and one of trust.
It is a sacrosanct honor, the absolute agreement of speaking truth and respect. The words I can use in any human language are insufficient to describe the weight of this honor. This gesture is one of absolute truth. Family lines with hatred going back millions of years would never dare to violate this honor."
"Only one Elder in history did so, one who once led a group known as the Stannic Resistance. He does so no longer. Penny Balica, Champion of Humanity... if there is nothing else I can give you to prove that I do really back you, there is this."
"...Just how low are my chances in the Judgment for you to resort to this?" Penny asked.
"They are not zero, but your battle with be incredibly difficult even with this boon of mine. The future of the galaxy, I now realize, hinges on the outcome of this. If we do not have enough trust, they will sniff it out, and we will fail."
So she had no choice. But as Nilncrawla continued to explain in her mind, Kashaunta was getting the worse side of the deal. Which meant she was throwing her backing behind Penny for real, beyond all reproach and retraction. Kashaunta, the most powerful Elder in the galaxy.
"And if I reject this gift, or your reasons for it?"
"Circumstances would demand that I kill you and then myself using this blade as a way to cut apart the dishonor, before my remains are dumped into a black hole to be forgotten forever. I would not do this."
"A dark and archaic custom," Penny said. She would have said more, but she looked at Nilnacrawla's face. He was clearly deeply uncomfortable. Her five words had shaken him more than anything she'd ever said to him before.
"You do not understand," Nilnacrawla said. "This is not something to joke or lie about. With a Soul Blade Pact in play, all else must cease. Right now, there is you, and there is her. Accept or decline. The choice, your only choice, is yours."
"How will this look to the Elders in the court? To the Sprilnav, and the people who back me?"
She could see how it would be a boon and a curse.
"You, and I," Kashaunta said. "The whole of the universe between us right now is you and I. No others exist until this one act is done. There will be trust or there will be death. No in between. No middle ground. The nature of this bond will be a Pact of Blades."
Conceptual energy swirled between them. Penny's natural translation, as part of the hivemind, failed for the first time ever. Her communicator likewise did not translate the words Kashaunta spoke.
"Eis nama kaste Penny Balica, sun lanci Dorima Kashaunta. Ko'ri, lanci nupa bes na Dorima'Pecunyanova. Sp'rkial'nova. Sun. Homo Sapiens."
The air grew thick with tension. It was not just emotional, either. Psychic and conceptual energy gathered. The mindscape started to distort as more and more eyes began to view Kashaunta and Penny. But all of them were Sprilnav eyes. All of them were Progenitors. Nova's appeared brightest and largest, nearly six times the size of the next largest pair. They stared at her, sending psychic and conceptual energy down upon her in waves that forced her and Kashaunta to kneel to the ground.
"I apologize for my earlier words," Penny said. "I should not have denigrated this."
Penny stood for an hour, deeply contemplating the Pact. If it was as Nilnacrawla was describing to her, it was a promise that Kashaunta would not break. If she was offering it at all, especially to Penny, it meant she had a level of trust in Penny's capability far above what Penny had previously thought. Apparently, there were even higher agreements than this that were possible, with this Pact being the lowest level of bond and considered unbreakable with the enforcement of consequences coming from the Progenitors themselves.
She thought of her place in Justicar and the wider universe. Hours passed like water. And then, by the end of it, after nearly 19 hours, Penny finally had decided. She gave a short nod to Kashaunta, who had been kneeling to Nova all this time.
Kashaunta gestured at the sword. "Tol, nopa shikai."
Nilnacrawla fed her a few suggestions on what she would need to say.
"I come to this Pact seeking peace, justice, and hope," Penny said. "And a promise not to betray one another, by lies or by treachery."
Nilnacrawla translated Kashaunta's next words to her.
"I come to this seeking trust, understanding, respect, and peace," Kashaunta said. "And a promise not to betray one another, by lies or by treachery. I make this Pact before the gods, those who equal them, and those who surpass them. I bind them to an oath of silence regarding this event, until I directly instruct them otherwise, in a state of a sound mind, body, and soul. Here, we shall step into a future that needs both of us, casting aside that which is unimportant to focus on the ultimate goals we have. I offer my Blade to Penny Balica, of species Homo Sapiens. In this way, we forge a new future, and walk a new path. I accept the Pact."
"I accept the Pact."
Nova and a hundred Progenitors descended. Nova grew larger, and Kashaunta knelt to him. Penny remained standing. His sharp teeth glittered in the light. He pressed his claws to Penny's chest, and to Kashaunta's chest.
"The Pact of Blades is made before the Progenitors. We agree to your vow of silence. The penalty of breaking it will be dismemberment and disposal into a black hole. Penny Balica, Engineer Kashaunta. To break this Pact without mutual agreement is to call down our collective wrath upon yourselves. You both have agreed, and are of sound mind, body, and soul. The Pact is forged. By sword, by word, by action. I, Nova, Everlasting, Lord of the Progenitors, King of all Sp'rkial'nova, Heir to the Mantle of Power, Heir to Narvravarana, Progenitor, Elder, and Sprilnav, declare the deed done, etched in time, space, and Reality."
They winked out of existence one by one, leaving Penny and Kashaunta alone, to ponder the future. Penny's thoughts turned to the Judgment, and her confidence she could win it began to waver. How much worse was this Judgment going to be than before?
Penny stared at Kashaunta's Soul Blade. With careful fingers, she took it. Kashaunta sat up, satisfied.
"Now we can begin. I shall compile all the news about you I can find, and we shall see how to address the questions the High Judges will ask. Now that you trust me, I cannot betray you."

Hello! I'm assuming if you are here you are probably not a degenerate (they just saw the [17/F] and spammed me), so let's be Friends! Bored out of my mind and would love to chat with some other people and pass the time.
A bit about me: Hi! My name is Roxanne. I like animals (alive and dead), cooking, woodworking, sewing, and interior design! Oh yeah, and did I mention dogs? I have two siblings myself (I know, boring information, do you want me to bore you with my school grades instead?). Random ass stuff I enjoy is collecting transformers (yes, the robots that turn into cars), mall window shopping, and go-kart racing.
I guess Ill mention that I am playing "Love Bites (So Do I)" by Halestorm on repeat, so if I don't respond immediately it's probably because I am jamming to part of the chorus (or likely intro to the third chorus).
Useless info just because I like adding it
Fav color: Pink, with Black being a close second
Fav animal: The Orange Breasted Falcon
Fav vehicle: either the Honda CBR 600 RR motorcycles or the 4-4-0 "American Type" steam locomotives
Favorite part of nature: Absolutely love canyons, it's like looking back in history
If you wish to chat then send a message, I would love to talk.

Today, I am finally healing. No contact with my whole family and I have no one to prove anything to but myself. But I am realizing I didn’t pick my field bc I love it and am proficient in the subject matter. I picked it because of the recognition it got me. I was able to go to conferences, present research, and get a little stipend for it. I am bringing my trauma responses into work in a way that feels like transference.
I was a super high achiever but realize my only framework is to work until I burn out. In school, this worked because there was always a finish line. That isn’t the best fit for a long-term professional career. I have been working for less than 5 years but I’ve quit two jobs before I could burn out. I left a positive mpression with some but I know I left a bad taste in someone’s mouth. I may have inadvertently burned bridges in an industry that is very niche. I may be seen as unreliable by my colleagues despite the initial strengths that brought me here.
I find myself lashing out due to the work I took on when I was more of a people pleaser. I find myself being too tired and disinterested in my job. I am too slow and don’t do things with a lot of attention to detail anymore. It’s a very social environment and I just have pulled away from everything that isn’t obligated.
I feel like I want to step away and do something mundane. Make less money but feeling happier overall. I wish I could have passion and drive like my colleagues but I just don’t give a damn anymore.
Idk what are y’all up to?

A little background.. I am a very recent college graduate with no jobs lined up, and quite frankly, am okay with that for the summer. However, I'm wanting to create a worthwhile summer full of memories, adventures, and I want to go into September as a newer version of me. I want to end this chapter of my life choosing me, making me happy, and doing things I've never done. I want to grow as a person more than self-care.
I am 23yr, female, and I'm still working part-time jobs, so I still have some sort of income. Luckily, my parents are letting me stay until I find a job (I'm still sending out applications left and right) but I have loads of free time.
I'm already working on implementing new habits (running, limiting screen time especially in the mornings/nights, going to/waking up at a consistent time) but I want some ideas or even "challenges" to get myself out there and really make this a summer to remember. I don't need to go with a group of friends, but would prefer more ideas that gets me out doing stuff by myself. Like for example, I went to an NBA game by myself, and though it was scary, it ended up being such a fun night meeting new people! Challenges like that.
If you were 23 and recently graduating, what would you want to do? If you're older than 23, what would you wish you would've done instead of what you did? I'd love some challenges or even advice that you could give!

I wish that you could kill Songbird after she betrayed you when you side with her. Why should I send her to the moon or give her to be a slave for the government, I should be able to kill her in revenge.

My wife and I have been together for 15 years and through it all I have seen her get screwed over by women friends time and time again. She has a good heart, wants to help everyone and has nothing but good things to say about everyone. Yet her choice of friends somehow always turn out being chaotic trauma dumpsters filled with envy and jealousy.
For context, the ex-BFF in this story (we’ll call her Sarah since that’s what autocorrected when I typed “aitah”) and her have been friends since childhood. Sarah had a rough childhood and my wife’s family always took her in, took her on vacations and they were inseparable for many years. At times in HS, they had their falling outs of course and so on every 4-6 years after HS. Something would come up, Sarah would say something mean to my wife and they’d not talk for a year. Then, she’d come back in to her life. My wife rationalizes this as a friendship cycle which I would agree with except for the patterns and toxicity Sarah exhibits in her own life as well as others. She tends to gossip about others, has made some questionable decisions in her own marriage and most everything she complains or bitches about is purely conjecture and projection. She loves to stick a knife in your back and twist it as hard as she can when she’s feeling vindictive and many of her old peer group have many unkind things to say about her unbeknownst to her. Yet, my wife likes to see the best in people as well as being someone who can be influenced out of fear or intimidation (which Sarah has done many times).
Sarah’s attributes:
— Demonstrates deep seated resentment and jealousy towards my wife. Wife is kind, a complete bombshell and comes from a generous family. Sarah attempts to control her, makes lewd comments about her breast being too big and then gets breast implants herself, do as I say, not as I do mentality.
—Infidelity and the communication for the desire to leave her husband many times over.
—Sends my wife novels complaining about her relationship, co-workers and friends expecting full support and attention to her concerns; wife can’t get her to reciprocate about simple conversation, vent about her stresses taking care of our autistic children and the loneliness she feels just wanting friends.
—Throws her psychology degree and her accomplishments in my wife’s face when my wife is just trying to vent about her day, boasting of freedom and date nights (no kids)
—Boasts about going to their friends places for the weekend that is close to us (we live 3.5hrs a part) and taking trips, but never committing or trying to make an effort to see my wife for any meetups (or cancelling when we head down to my in-laws where they live).
I could go on, but I’ll continue with the situation….
(Philosophical conflict that I’m thinking about breaking out of spite)
My wife and I have been through hell and back in our lives. And out of each situation we overcome, I’ve stressed to her over time that situation dumping personal information about us to others will, over time, create a confirmation bias with her audience. I’ve seen it a million times in real life, on Reddit, everywhere. When there is a personal connection (friends) between two or more people, a singular narrative seen through the lens of one person is taken as the end all/be all truth and bad advice and information is suggested. So while you and your SO have worked out whatever issue you had and moved on, you can bet your ass the friend(s) you anger dumped on have indexed the instance in their databases, recollecting it when they need a topical punching bag in conversation amongst others and to slowly start suggesting relationship advice out of the resentment they feel by proxy from temporary issues you have since reconciled.
Unless it’s detrimental to your life, children’s lives or is a legal matter, I’m a staunch believer in people working out their marital issues amicably, peacefully and privately.
(Mother’s Day Drama) We are enjoying Mother’s Day. My boys and I are pampering mom, taking all duties off of her bc damnit she deserves it. Wish it was an entire weekend.
After cleaning, taking the kids out to get some cookies and then getting ready to make her dinner, she comes walking into the room, eyes red, crying and saying “I lost my best friend again”. She then proceeded to show me a one message text blaming my wife for something that she never clarified. It was cryptic stating: “I know what you were hoping I would never find out. Someone told me the desperate stuff you attempted even though we are such good friends, right”. It goes on to say that this why karma has come so hard for her in her life and she’ll pray for her. Sarah didn’t write anything else, blocked her on everything and just cut her out of her life like nothing. My wife is devastated and we still don’t know the full story of what she heard, just that it was something from high school 20+ years ago! And apparently she heard it earlier and waited until Mother’s Day to contact my wife.
Now y’all, you must understand, my wife and I have access to each other’s digital footprint on everything and have absolutely zero to hide from one another. I’m in IT and deal mainly with security and ethical hacking. I can say unequivocally that my wife has not stepped out or done anything, whatsoever. Furthermore, the text mentioned “Karma coming so hard for her” and the only thing she is referring to with this statement is us having children on the spectrum with in being more severe than the others, and not having “normal” children. And come to find out, this is some rumor Sarah heard from a mutual childhood friend about my wife back in HIGHSCHOOL and it wasn’t even true. Yet, she has the audacity to contact my wife on Mother’s Day and acts so righteous, tearing my wife’s world apart.
I literally want to download all of the text messages about her coworkers she talked shit about, her husband she didn’t want to be with and the drugging she does and send it to the school where she works and her husband anonymously to make her experience her own karma for the pain, anguish and loneliness she’s put my wife through on Mother’s Day and for the past 15 years. I most likely won’t, but shit, this woman has some bad juju coming her way. AITAH for feeling this way?
P.S. Please leave some comments of hope and inspiration for my wife so I can show her the world is still a good place filled with good people outside of her old childhood friends that are toxic AF.

I'm from a very complicated family, everyone contributes to this weirdest family relationships.
Long story short, parents been separated for 15-20yrs, Mother is 'NPD' controlling freak who hates me and wishes me dead, but slightly changed how she treats since I've been working. My elder brother is not close to me at all, thanks to Mother's manipulation that turned him against me. Father, oh, Father is just... I don't know how to talk about him, I'll try to not put too much emotional stuff in this.
Father worked really hard to raise us two kids. I used to be so sad just watching him going through daily hard labor work, day after day. As you can imagine, he does not make much.
My brother has caused lots of trouble, starting with before I even got to school, families would constantly tell him, his life was degraded because of my birth, which is probably true. Mother would say, look how much your brother sacrificed for me and whatever I ate, my brother spared for me, etc. ever since I was a baby.
While we were still in school, my brother tried to rob some taxi driver and got into lots of trouble. I watched Father’s hair turn grey overnight. Then he got a girl pregnant, and her parents threatened to sue him ‘raping the girl’. Father’s hair went almost completely grey that year.
Father looked so much older during those few years. I feel so terrible cause I was not helping much.
Parents fought every year, especially around festivals. I hate festivals and family reunions as bad as you can imagine.
Even years later now, it sets me in this dramatically desperately sad mode even just talking with them. At least a whole week would be super messed up and then slowly adjusting myself back to be a normal person.
See I really appreciate how Father has done for us and he even got me through college. I witnessed all the pain and hard work he put done for this.
I was close to him but in a weird way, I often hate him too, trying to keep my distance. I didn’t understand why.
Until the 3^rd year in college, one of my friends was really depressed for a while, one day she was talking about some really difficult stuff she was going through with her dad, I was trying to listen and help her through that period.
And suddenly it hit me so hard, shit, think my dad did the same thing to me as well.
That day opened up a gap in that forced to be closed slowly healed rough ugly scar from family traumas, all those left behind memories flooded back to me. Ever since then, I have been in an even worse condition. All the sadness, oh boy, even today, I’m in tears just typing these words.
My uncle is a rapist. Before he was sent to jail, he pulled my pants as well, he didn’t do anything further besides watching, at least that one time that know of, nothing else happened. I was about maybe 5yrs old, I didn’t know what it meant. The year he was arrested, I was already in elementary school and starting to know that was, maybe, not right. When I told my parents about it, and they said, well just shut up about it and don’t mention it to anyone else, you should be ashamed.
When I was about 10yrs old, I started to be sent to semi foster type of families, mainly neighbors, because parents had to work somewhere else, and brother started boarding school. My foster family are generally nice to me, treated me well, fed me 3 meals a day. Food makes people happy.
I was also happy because Father wasn’t around.
The first time I sensed danger I was about 9yrs old.
Again, Mother had never ever told me anything about what is like being a girl, how to deal with period, breast may start to have some changes, wear underwear, wash and clean lady parts, etc. nothing.
I didn’t exist in that house unless she needed someone to vent. As you can see, I was smart, I made myself invisible as much as I could.
Around 4^th grade I had to do some performance for children’s day, our headmaster accidentally realized I was not wearing any undergarments, so she kindly gave me some of her granddaughter’s. After that performance, I started to wear those every day. They look more like little cami top shirts.
One day I woke up, I was already late for school. I got so scared, and I started crying. Father was often more patient with me. He was comforting me and told me to get off bed and get ready for school. I was crying and I wasn’t paying much attention to what he said. And suddenly I realized he stopped talking. I looked up and watched him staring at me, he looked so strange and oddly scary at that moment, not like he was beat me or anything, like a … predator. I tried to figure out what caught his attention and then I realized, half of my breast was showing because the undergarments were too big for me, and I moved when sitting up in bed.
I immediately stopped crying and pulled it up. But I would never forget his eyes, the way he stared at my breasts. It often makes me sick whenever thinking about it even today. I was confused and a bit scared, and I guess ever since then it sort of startled me, the love for my father. But again, I was too young to understand what happened and I did not have anyone around me to tell me girls’ changes around certain age.
Father soon left for a few years, and I was really relived. I don’t know how to describe this feeling and I could only understand myself better till years later.
After Father left, I started going around semi foster families, including my grandparents’ place. Around summertime, I realized the bathroom lock broke, so I just blocked it from inside with chairs every time taking a shower. Still one day, my grandfather forced in and claimed he needed something from the inside. I stood there naked for a second, then rushed to get my clothing and rushed out of the bathroom.
Ever since then, I tried everything to lock that door even more solidly and it worked. The problem is, even today, living thousands of miles away from where I grew up with, I am still extremely insecure with door locks, I buy all sorts of locks to double lock every door, using door stoppers as well.
Then one day, Father just showed up in my school again. He was back. I was happy but deep down something also quietly but terribly disturbed my peace.
One afternoon, while taking a shower, I suddenly felt weird. I started looking around and didn’t find anything odd. But that feeling keeps coming back. So, I looked around again; this time, I saw Father’s face and his eyes were by the window and staring at me, he was so concentrated and didn’t even realize I already saw him. I had to ask him what he was doing there, and he told me he was checking if I finished taking a shower. He looked panicked just like years ago when I busted him staring at my breasts when I was still in 4^th grade.
There were so many little things that happened when I was a kid, but I did not have the knowledge to distinguish what that meant.
I remember starting from one day, my grandmother started to guard me right outside the bathroom every time I took a shower. I didn’t know what that was for, she never mentioned anything, also because she was never that close to me, and I was the least favorite kid.
It’s like a puzzle. So many things started to connect, so many memories I buried deep down started to come back to me. I was so depressed for the first few years after I realized what happened to me when I was a kid. My friend’s memory somewhat triggered my memory valve as well.
About the time I started looking for internships, I was really busy, and it was stressful. One early morning, on the way to work I picked up a call from Father. He told me he was going to commit suicide but didn’t do it because of me.
Mother is really toxic which was not news to me, and they had separated for so many years and I really pity him. I had lots of terrible memories regarding Mother, I thought about suicide so many times every day for many many years ever since I learned the word ‘death’. I just never thought Father was gonna say it out first. It really shocked me, and I was really terrified. But again, death was never an extreme word for me, it was like a relief from my parents. See confused and scared, never knew what’s really going in my mind. I had so much to deal with and I felt I was going to explode but I didn’t have time for that, I was graduating college that year.
But since that, my previous thoughts about confronting Father about his perverting behaviors when I was kid, it just could not be done.
Now for years, I was torn again and again with thoughts about confronting him also worrying it might humiliate him and caused his suicidal thoughts again. I couldn’t tell if he was just trying to manipulate me or was really desperate.
Father worked hard raising my brother and me, and I got into college.
I have been depressed for years, struggling all the time, cutting myself at times when super extremely desperate and couldn’t do anything about it. I would buy tickets traveling all over the world and put parents’ names in my travel insurance, hoping that would pay them back if anything happened.
When I was about 30yrs old, finally one day I confronted him, twice, in person and on the phone, and he denied of course.
Again, I didn’t want to say anything and get him killed, so I stayed quiet for quite a few years again.
But in recent years, I couldn’t help it. I started screaming at him in my dreams and it kept me awake for days after such dreams.
A few days ago, I texted him about it and wanted an apology. I need closure. I desperately need it. I wasn’t planning to go any further than that and I was ready to let it go if he just admits it and just apologize.
After all, for many people, it might not even be considered as such an evil thing to do, right? I don’t know, I am super exhausted and confused.
He soon replied, of course he denied again and saying I was humiliating him, and he said if I still do not believe him, I should consider him dead. Also, he said, you two are my kids, what is there that I have never seen on you two anyways?
I cried for the whole night.
It is so disgusting that he really tried to manipulate me to accept what he said with suicidal/ death threatening, also how he tried to justify his behaviors.
I wished him well and promised to send money when I can, but also told him I won’t be talking to him anymore.
This is as much as I could have done for that little kid when I look back, that little me. It was not as expected but I have to let it go now.
I so wish someone could tell me how someone can be a father also a monster. I don’t know if I am being dramatic about these ‘little things’. I am so worried about he might kill himself because I wouldn’t know how to cure myself with that strike.
But I am in so much pain inside and as always I want to save myself. Every time talking to him is like sharpening this knife to cut open this giant ugly roughly almost healed scar. It’s so ugly and painful.

Before I start, I want to preface by saying I will not be spoiling anything major here or in the comments, and if I want to give more detail It will be hidden by a spoiler tag, and I would appreciate anyone else do the same Although I've read through it all and don't care about being spoiled myself, I know others don't feel the same and are strictly against spoilers, so if you'd like more details or just want more, then feel free to send me a message, I only plan to talk about the bare minimum here and am just making this post because I'm rereading the light novel and where I'm at spurred some thoughts and I finally realized a few things, and I'd just like to talk about them for a moment. Thanks(:
Alright, now to the point: I finally figured it out!! I know it might not be as exciting for everyone else, and most of you might not care, but Nanahoshi's story had always been so complicated with so much going on that I could never fully understand it and there was a lot that confused me. Not to mention I believe the authors purposefully limited how much of it they talked about as well as making it as confusing as it was as a means to draw us in more. Whenever she showed up in the story, it was never for very long, but most of the time it brought in a lot of questions and added so much detail while only giving us small amounts of information. I've read through the series twice now, this will be my third, and I feel like I finally am able to understand the majority of her story!(obviously there's still so much we won't be able to piece together as I believe there will be more Nanahoshi in the sequel series, but I digress)
It's honestly amazing at how important Nanahoshi's story. When she was first introduced, I always liked her character, but the more I understood, the more I realized how important her roll actually is. After finally understanding her story, I not only know why she was summoned and not reincarnated, but I know why Rudeus was reincarnated and not summoned, and I now have a theory as to why they both appeared in the world when they did, (slight spoiler point ahead)why they both appeared at different moments in time(10 years apart) even though both of them were pulled to that world the moment of the crash that killed Rudeus, and what that means for the rest of the story!
Sorry that this post doesn't really add too much and may seem kind of pointless in that sense, but like I said in the beginning, I understand there are people who are anime/even Manga only, and wouldn't appreciate being spoiled, so I'll have to cap my excitement at this. The whole reason I'm making this post is purely because I'm excited I finally understood something and just wanted to share that. xD
If you wish to talk more about the story, please do not forget to mark your comment as spoiler, or just shoot me a message, I'm not against talking in more detail in messages where nothing will be spoiled for those that haven't got this far. Thanks for reading!

Recently, I was rejected from my top choice of university program. The program I was interested in is considered a "one-way ticket" to medical school (my country doesn't have traditional pre-med programs, but this program is the only one that consistently sends a large amount of students to medical school). I feel like the rejection has left me questioning my entire future and what Allah has planned for me. I try my best to keep faith in Him, but in moments like these, I can't help but feel hopeless. My entire life has been trying to become a doctor. I can't imagine myself in another field. So in being rejected, I don't know whether I should interpret this as a sign from Allah that becoming a doctor isn't for me, or that I will just need to work harder to become a doctor.
I find myself comparing myself to a friend I have. Masha'Allah, she is one of the smartest, most hardworking, and faithful girls I know, and I do not wish her any ill intent when I say this. But I look at her (she consistently is at the top of my class, she is Valedictorian, she is the only person I know who got accepted to my top program) and question if I am meant to be a doctor, because the amount of faith she has in Allah is beautiful and it seems that Allah has only ever pointed her in the direction of becoming a doctor. I obviously don't know her personal situation, but it has always seemed like she's been given clear guidance as to what she is supposed to do for her future. Whereas in my situation, especially after my rejection, I don't know whether that is the case. And what hurts even more is seeing someone get to live out the one thing you've prayed for your entire life.
To summarize, I guess I am just confused and a little frustrated. If being a doctor is not meant for me, why has Allah allowed me to dream about it, to yearn for it, as much as I have? Or am I being too dramatic in assuming that one rejection has dictated that I won't ever become a doctor. I've interpreted it that way because I've instilled it in myself that this university decision would be a major sign from Allah.
This was mostly to vent, but I suppose I'm not sure where I am sitting in regards to my faith or what my future is meant to be.

Hey everyone,
I'm gonna just spill everything that's going on, and rant and I'd appreciate it if I could hear it from insight or advice from some people!! Thank you! I'm a guy (18) btw and my ex is a girl (18)
So me and my ex broke up about a month and a half ago. She brought it up with me about mid march out of the blue and said that her mental health was real bad and she didn't want it affecting our relationship, which is fair, I told her let's give it a month, let's try and work everything out, told her to maybe try therapy and let's try communicating and work it out because I loved her so much. After that it was thin ice for the rest of march, I tried so hard and she was just being distant. I stayed over the Easter weekend and she told me that she just doesn't see it working and wants the break up, I was like ok that's fine if that's what you need to do. While she was out of her house at work that weekend I was chilling at hers waiting for my own shift to start, I got curious and remembered she'd had a diary. The diary was a set boundary and I knew never to open it or read it, but in my mind at the time I thought what if there was something in there that could maybe help or understand her state of mind better yah know? When I did read the most recent entry I wish I didn't, she wrote some things that I won't disclose but she wrote that she had developed a crush on a guy in her uni class and that she was questioning "what if" Because they had similar interests and she believed that was something that we lacked (which honestly we didn't really, our childhoods are very similar, our humour is similar, the only things we didn't really have in common was a slight difference in music taste and TV shows etc but that never really bothered me) anyway at the end of the entry and she said "I won't act on it though". That whole weekend she was secretive about her phone, which she never was and "went to the toilet alot" we also went to have a shower after work and she left her phone open on the bathroom counter I picked it up and she freaked out, grabbing it and turning it off, when I questioned the reaction she said she had embarrassing photos she'd taken recently of herself and didn't want me to see them. Righttttt..... she left the room for a minute and left her phone and I ended up opening the conversation between her and this guy on her intsa and only saw the most recent message where he asked how everything was going, she replied with "it seems OK, everything seems mutual but I think everything's gonna be ok" something along the lines of that. I ended up telling her that I read her diary because I couldn't keep that to myself, she left the room hurt for about 10 minutes and when she came back I told her I also read her messages with the guy her face dropped like she had to explain something, but when I told her that I only saw the most recent one she seemed relieved. She ended up ignoring me for the rest of the night and going to sleep, I tried going on her phone after she feel asleep but she took my fingerprint and face id off, I didn't know her password unfortunately. The next day I stayed until I had work later in the afternoon but never mention anything because I didn't really think of it. For the first few days of the breakup we were still talking but then she randomly switched on me because I wasn't giving her space, giving me the cold shoulder etc. I ended up adding the dude on insta and messaging him, I found out through him that she was confiding in him and she was telling him our relationship problems, things she's never told me. I asked him to relay a message to her for me at uni and he did, she wasn't happy, she ended up massaging me and sending me a long paragraph where she doesn't really wanna interact with me anymore etc. I begged her to give me a 2nd chance just the usual shit you do and she was unresponsive and didn't seem to care at all, after our conversation she posted a new post on insta and the first picture was her and this dude next to eachother at a party, not sitting next to eachother but close enough. I've talked with some female friends and they've told me she's was emotionally cheating on me and yeah she was, whether she sees it like that or not. I never knew anything about this guy and their relationship tbh, I knew of his existence and that he recently went through a bad break up but other then that, nothing. I thought maybe she didn't tell me because of my insecurities etc and I also thought that she talked him for advice because he knew what she was going through but now that I look back I'm not to sure.
I was at a mates place 2 weeks ago and he told me that he thinks he saw her on tinder, he wasn't sure tho, we ended up making a new account on his phone and sure enough she was. Why was she on tinder if she's getting this attention from another guy? She also posted songs on her insta note which were clearly aimed at me, she also posted a song which was clearly aimed at me to make me jealous, the song is basically about a man and a women and how good they'd be together. Since then she's acted like I don't exist, but something that really got to me is that I saw one of her highschool friends where I work and she was telling me that they were at a catch up that my ex was present at and didn't speak bad about me, she told her friends that she broke up but when they all started a conversation about how hard uni was she mentioned and seemed quite chirpy at the fact that I recently got into uni. (I applied for uni after the break up and posted it on my socials when I got in) why act happy for me that I got into uni after being a cold bitch after the break up?
We ended up talking again recently because I needed a favour from her and she told me that when we broke up it was because her mental health wasn't good for us, but then she said that she didn't like the way she was treated during and after the relationship, she said that I destroyed her self worth because I made comments and my temper was bad. All of these things were at the start of the relationship and when I noticed it was hurting her I took a step back and stopped these actions, I apologised, worked on it and changed. It's like she was nit picking things and people have told me it's because she feels guilty but also because she's avoiding accountability.
She recently had a family member pass away and I messaged her my condolences after about 2 - 3 weeks of no contact and she said thank you, but after that I'm done. I hate the way I was treated and she's made me feel like shit and made me feel like some kind of monster with the things she said. With all of this do you think she'll come around and realise that she was not nice to me at all? I've also had a friend tell me that she'll realise that the grass wasn't greener and try to come back to me but to not let myself be an option. She said when she's ready she might reach out and we can catch up for coffee and be friends but if she doesn't start the conversation with an apology I know she hasn't done anything to reflect or change. But essentially will she come around and realise she wasn't nice at all and apologise or is this whole ordeal a sinking ship? I've been taking therapy and I'm in a better position then I was a month ago and I still get thoughts about her and miss her but I'm getting over it with the way she treated me.
Thanks for listening to my Ted talk and thanks for reading this big ass rant. Oh we were together for a year and 3 months if that helps with anything either. Thanks. Also Jan and February were fine and then in march she became distant. Thanks again.

this is probably the first time i’ve talked about this online in full detail. i’m gonna try to condense this as much as i possibly can but i need to get everything off my chest (very long post incoming so bare with me please).
i’ve been no contact with my mother since december of 2021. from the time i was 18/19 to 25 i have given her numerous chances to make things right with me and she didn’t take initiative. she’s never fully taken responsibility over the fact that she chose my stepdad over me and for the last twenty years treats me and my sister as an afterthought while making him her number one priority. it was so bad that i contemplated ending my life in 2010 when i was 14 (when i told her about it 3 years later she was anything but sympathetic) and even called CPS the same year. she and my stepdad provided the bare necessities but he was verbally/mentally/emotionally abusive towards me and my sis while my mother neglected my emotional needs. they both have alcohol addictions which didn’t make things better. she’s made statements before about finding another place for me to live while she can go be with him. she almost pulled me out of school one time when i needed to take a school exam so we could go camping with my stepdad (something we did 2-3 times a year, sometimes more). he tried to kick us out numerous times but nothing came of it. one time we did move out of his place but came back after a month because she “loved him too much” and wanted to be with him. basically she’s done a lot of things and more over the years that convinced me she doesn’t see me as important as him and it’s affected my self worth tremendously.
in 2021 i stopped talking to her for about 6-8 months after a phone call where i berated her for being an absent parent, to which she tried to apologize but it came off as performative. i saw her at walmart one time that year and our interaction was awkward. i decided to give her my peace one last time that november by sending a long text message detailing why i didn’t want her to talk to me anymore, and of course she dismissed me entirely. the only part of my message that stuck out to her was how i thought her alcohol addiction was going to kill her someday, and she brought up some things she had heard about me to deflect. she said “you’re never gonna lose me, i have two of the most beautiful daughters i could ever ask for” and i told her “well, you just lost me. please stop contacting me.”
about a month later she texted me saying that my stepdad has cancer, but her follow up message said: “you can stop now”. i got heated, partly because i thought she didn’t take me putting my foot down seriously. i responded, “i’m sorry but that is not my problem, please don’t contact me anymore.” she said, “i didn’t say it was your problem! where is your empathy for god’s sake” after that i went OFF on her. i cussed her out, told her she’s a terrible mother and a myriad of other things. the last thing i said to her was “fuck your empathy, and fuck you too (mom’s name).” her only response to my entire message was the word “wow”.
ever since then i only received one text from her and it was the day after my birthday a couple months later where she wished me well. i’ve since changed phone numbers and blocked her on all social media. it’s 2024 and for some reason i think about her a lot. i worry about what’s gonna happen to her once my stepdad passes (i’m her only blood relative in this state) and whether or not his family will keep her around. my sister is VLC with her because my mom dismisses her often and only seems to care about issues pertaining to my stepdad. my sister stopped reaching out as much when she found out my mom put down her perfectly healthy dog last year (that’s a whole story for another time). my mother has expressed suicidal tendencies in the past so i know mentally she’s not all there. i’m tired of worrying about her like she’s my child. i think about her more than she thinks about me. i don’t know why i do this to myself. she’s made her choice and i keep hoping she’ll change but i know she won’t. it’s heartbreaking. i want to stop thinking about her. she clearly doesn’t care about me the way i want her to. i keep bugging my sister to see how my mom is doing but she’s got a lot going on right now and i feel stupid for doing so. why do i care about her so much? even after all this time?

I might have projected my situation onto my son. I was dating a man and he told me he just wanted to be friends. I found out later that he said that because of my job. I work as a bartender and he said he didn’t see a long-term relationship with someone that worked at a bar. This really annoyed me because I would not have chosen to keep hanging around him if I knew he felt that way.
But it’s not a huge deal. That said, it has really annoyed me and I do wish I had known before. My son has recently started to date someone and he told me he doesn’t want to continue dating her. She messaged him and asked if he wanted to keep dating and he came to me for advice.
I told him absolutely 100% tell her the reason you don’t want to date her. It’s an asshole move to not tell her the reason, and of course, be honest and tell her that you don’t want to see her anymore.
So he did that. He sent her a message and said, “Hey, you are a cool person, but I don’t want to keep seeing you. My reasons are that I think we have different senses of humor and our humors don’t mesh well and I don’t really feel our personalities mesh well, either. We’re just different people, but I do really like you as friends and I’d like to keep being friends.”
It was something like that. He was uncertain about sending it because he didn’t think he wanted to give her a reason, but I said it was great. He sent it and yeah… She reacted terribly. She said “so you think I have a bad personality and I’m not funny but you want to keep being friends? Why the hell did you just tell me that? You’re a jerk… etc.”
Basically she responded super angrily. I felt like I gave good advice but now I’m uncertain. But my son is mad at me because he’s in high school and this is someone he’s going to see everyday for the next two years and he feels like I gave him horrible advice and messed up his relationship with his friend.
I tried to say he did nothing wrong. But he’s upset at me. AITA here?

Known him for 20 years. We were close friends high school. He was always into drugs, I wasn’t. Fast forward to our mid 30s, he needs a place to love when getting out of Federal Prison for manufacturing ice. We’ve kept in touch over the years, I would visit his mom while he was locked up, etc. He moves in with me. Long story short I get addicted to fentanyl. While I take responsibility for my part in it, I also know that with him NOT in the picture, this would have never happened. 2 years into that, he goes back to jail for violating his federal supervised release, and I go to rehab in Texas where my mom lives and get sober.
4 months later he gets out, we’ve stayed in touch and he comes down here so we can start over and build a life together the right way. (I know) His mother passed away while we were in full blown addiction and I think that fucked him up. He has no one, his brothers and him were never close, and the only brother he WAS close with killed himself at 18 and my bf had to cut him down from a closet when he was 17. He’s had a traumatic life and he’s also been diagnosed with BPD and major depressive disorder.
Unfortunately things did not go well down here in TX. He continued to get high, stole from stores to make money, always needing to know where I am and extremely controlling. I went to stay at my moms after a bad fight between us and he destroyed the apartment we rent saying he was going to “put me in debt” he ripped drywall out and put holes in almost every room. I have bailed him out of jail 3 times in a year since he’s been down here for stealing. He’s now back in jail, demanding and threatening me to bail him out. I have told him I needed space in the past and he refused to leave because he has nowhere to go. He says because he supported me for the two years while we were addicts, that I owe him this. He did go out every day and make money for us to get high and I never had to resort to certain things that a lot of girl addicts have to resort to. And I’m thankful for that. But I can’t continue to live with him the way he is acting. I can’t afford financially to keep supporting him. He is constantly asking for money while he’s in jail now and I feel bad that he’s there so I send it. I wish I could have gotten space without him being locked up but I don’t know what to do. Thanks.

Hi all, I have decided I need to start changing my emails to a SimpleLogin type catch-all email system. I have been with BitWarden for many years and before that LastPass. I have so many logins. Is there an easy way to do this? Can I search for my accounts that have certain emails (My old default email addresses)?
I am a bit worried as one of my emails has had a data-breach (Even though I don't believe I ever signed up for the site) and it just got me paranoid. I have some free time so I thought I would go through them. I have been slowly switching anyway when I receive emails on the account, but I don't think most ever send me emails.
I wish there was an option for BitWarden always keeping the email you signed up with. Normally I add it to comments/notes but I don't think that can be searched.

Life isn't fair,
And I learned not to care.
But, if I wanted to fuck em up, i was gonna do it with flair.
Body and mind, I'm in control,
And Imma work you until you are nothing but a thrall.
I'm taking your eyes,
In retaliation for these styes.
Blind leads blind,
We're both dead, because I have a bone to grind.
I'm a cocky prick,
But don't get it twisted, there is a part of me that it makes sick.
I wish I was a sociopath,
That way I wouldn't need to struggle against my own wrath.
I've got an inferiority and a god complex,
That's why I always needed your nod,
to increase my notoriety as I flexed.
You want someone who can pummel you both figuratively and literally?
Well, now I'm here, spewing a litany of body blow literacy, it's time for you to have an epiphany.
Be careful, and heed the dread,
If I get bored, I may aim this lead at your head.
I'm creeping death,
And I'm here to choke out your breath.
Like a smothering fog,
Or an unforgiving bog.
Your ignorance won't keep you afloat,
I've remembered you, through every word that I wrote.
They always ask who it is I am speaking to;
But both of us know, it is you.
Do you want to know why you need to drown?
Because, the problem is, I can't control Orion's Hound.
The anger came out in aces once my patience was through,
But you can't get even with people who never did shit to you.
They say hurt perpetuates hurt,
You think I believe that justifies the words that I blurt?
You vanished, as I diminished,
But my hatred wasn't finished.
I went after anyone who drew near,
I let them suffer through my fear.
I made them suffer,
Their dismay was your buffer.
You, prick, you got to walk away,
See the sun for another day.
You left me crippled,
Broken down and crumpled.
Without a voice,
Reeling in feeling; without a choice.
You weren't a target I could mark,
Even as the impacts of your actions were so stark.
I couldn't save myself through therapy,
The haze didn't lift, even temporarily.
But, it did teach me that I was wrong,
It wa salways you who I should have written into song.
Break the cycle,
A demon stood up to by his fallen disciple.
Round and round,
If I had to, I would follow you into the ground.
Because, I know only one person deserves to be battered,
And I know, all of my regrettable choices mattered.
It was you who never looked back,
Never once questioned the humanity that you lack.
I'm sick, and I can't be saved by a pill,
Nor a whole bottle, just to bury my rage under a hill.
I would become a reaper,
Just to flay your secret keeper.
I would become a storm,
Just to rip off the roof that keepa you warm.
I'd become the tick in your brain,
The whispers to drive you insane.
I'd become what I hate,
Just to drag you to your fate.
And don't for a second believe,
That it was your right to leave.
The past isn't through with you,
It won't let you begin anew.
I'll send myself to hell,
Just so that you can't escape the toll of the bell.

My fiance (25f) and I (26m) have been together going on 4 years now. On our first date, we discussed our taste in music. While we didn’t have the same taste immediately, we did find some common ground in our second and third choices. While discussing this, she brought up her favorite artist was Taylor Swift. Before I could even get a work out she started saying things like “people who don’t like her just don’t understand her” and things to that effect. In the interest of seeing how the relationship would develop, I agreed to listen to 1 full album before giving her any form of judgement. Over the next day or so, I listened to the album and as I expected, it was not my taste. It was overhyped, overplayed, ear garbage, like most of the songs coming out today. She didn’t like my choice of words to describe her favorite artists songs, but she appreciated me giving them a shot. A few months go by and the Eras tour is announced. I was nearly deafened when I was woken up to the scream of excitement of her even getting in line to buy tickets. I was happy for her as she would get to see her favorite artist and then move on, right? That’s how every concert I had ever been to had gone. A couple weeks of being hyped to go, enjoy the show, and then be done. I WAS WRONG… As the tour kicked off, every night for at least an hour, she would go onto IG or TT live streams and watch the concert and listen to the same songs that she had been listening to on loop for the past 6 months. The concert comes and of course she is still excited to go. I wish her a safe trip, and send her and her friend on to the concert. When they get back, it’s all they can talk about, and you guessed it, TT live was on in the background watching the same concert in the same location. This obsession was beginning to grind my gears. The next major event happened when the Eras Tour movie was announced. After it was told to be coming to a theatre near us, she said she was going to see it on the big screen… Fine… whatever… but then the day comes and she and I get into a fight bc I won’t buy her and her 3 friends tickets to a movie about a concert that she’s seen probably 50 times by this point. (Mind you, she and all her friends work their own jobs) This was my final straw, after this, I stopped listening to any of the music, started becoming annoyed anytime she would be playing it in the house, and especially anytime we were in a confined space. As an engaged couple in their mid 20’s, money is tight and planning a wedding is expensive. However, she feels like it’s necessary for her to buy all the CD’s and at least 1 sweatshirt from the merch store every couple of months. I am not claiming that I am perfect with my money, but I don’t let what I buy put me in a hole that I can’t dig out of. I do believe that this obsession with Taylor Swift as a whole is becoming unhealthy for most of the “Swifties” but in my household, it has already started effecting our relationship. I know this post is long, and I apologize, but I really needed to get this off my chest bc I know I’m not the only person that feels this way.

So, before I get into the detail of what I'm trying to ask, I want to kind of set my expectations. My post does kind of centre around me being a trans woman. And I realise that a lot of people here may not be super familiar with the ins and outs of trans people, but I don't think that matters super much. At the end of the day I'm just looking for some friendly advice from mature people on how to handle myself in a somewhat vulnerable situation - please don't let me being trans dissuade you from answering because you're not sure about trans stuff specifically!
Anyway. Long story short, I'm a 28 year old trans woman, and my parents *hate* it. I transitioned when I was younger for a few years, they treated me with a ton of hostility. Life got really bad and I detransitioned and went back in the closet, then a few years later I started transitioning again. Cut to today - I don't look great, but I've been on HRT roughly two years now. I don't look amazing, but strangers are gendering me as a woman pretty often, while I'm still not out at work, and haven't had any sort of conversation with my parents yet to let them know that I'm going to be transitioning again.
I think I'm at a cliff edge where it's becoming a bit frustrating, and a little bit precarious, not being out at work. I've been lightly SA'd on a night out by a man I work with, recently on a few nights out and at meals with work people I was being referred to as miss and she by strangers in front of my colleagues, and I'm very close with a lot of people I work with, so it's just.. odd. Besides that, I've been forcing myself to get comfortable with light makeup and less androgynous clothing recently, and I'm worried about meeting someone I work with in public or on a night out with friends. Besides that, I have to undress for work to go into clean rooms, and I have small, but kind of obvious, breasts - it's awkward being in the mens changing room, and I've noticed people looking, despite my best efforts. On top of that, I'm getting closer to a position where I might be able to take advantage of getting cosmetic facial surgery, and bottom surgery, so it'll be impossible *not* to be out, or for a difference to be noted.
The issue is that I work with my dad. And we work in departments where our work is fairly closely related, and since I got a bit of a promotion, I'm in even more contact with him than before.
Therefore: I need to come out, and probably somewhat soon, so I don't flashbang people with like "btw I'm trans and now I'll be out of office for a bit and going straight into surgery." But, I work with someone who I *know* will be actively hostile to me about it.
I've spoken with my manager, HR, and have a bunch of closer friends who know (either I've told them, or they've been part of a group who were there when work dude felt me up, and know through that). In Ireland I should be protected under our laws from discrimination based on gender. So I have some protection, and backing, at work. But I'm not sure when to pull the trigger on speaking to my parents. I feel like I'm pretty much as "ready" as I'm going to be, and I feel like the frustration at holding back on speaking to them is building. But I'm also terrified that it'll significantly affect my job, and impact my performance, my mental health, and/or my earning potential/ability to keep saving at the rate I currently am (if it got bad enough to necessitate a role change, I might be taken off my current shift role, which would result in me losing a ~20% shift bonus).
I guess the question boils down to whether it's a wiser choice to wait as long as possible, to protect myself for as long as possible, and just find a way to live with being curtailed in some behaviours outside of work (for fear of being seen by someone and word filtering back to work or my family) and with trying to maintain a distant-but-civil relationship with my parents where I see them and feel miserable once a week? Or whether it's probably safe to have that conversation with them now, and give myself time to understand how I'll be impacted by their reaction to the conversation, and give myself a little more freedom in terms of not having to feel so cloistered by the relationship with my parents, and just a little mental health relief overall.
It's probably a question I'd love to discuss with a parental figure, but obviously that option isn't available to me right now. If anyone has any advice or thoughts, I'd really reaaaally appreciate you taking the time to send them.

Got some good things on sale stranger! Downsizing the collection a bit! Would greatly prefer PayPal F&F! I communicate as much as possible and have a bit of rep here so I hope this would make you comfortable to make a purchase especially if we have had transactions with each other on here in the past. I am OPEN to OFFERS of course so please reach out. More likely to discount for bundles and F&F payments. More pictures can be taken upon request. Please do not send PM or Chat until we have agreed to do so. Free shipping over $50!
PICS of All games here! Some items may have link to pics in their description some are in title per section. Some items are not pictured yet, please let me know if you want more.
Nintendo
(DS) Lime Green DS Lite - Asking $100 (VERY Good condition- Includes pouch and extra stylus. Minimal to very little yellowing on screens. Honestly haven't seen a DS Lite this good. Also have an R4 cart that can be included with an SD card for additional $20. No ROMS per sub rules)
(Wii) Wii Sports Resort - No Manual - $25
(GB) Donkey Kong Land - Loose - $8 SOLD
(GB) Donkey Kong Land 2 - Loose, Some label wear - $10 SOLD
(GB) Yoshi's Cookie - Loose - $8
(GBA) Avatar the Last Airbender Burning Earth - loose - $8
(GBA) NES Classics Metroid - Loose - $25
(3DS) Luigi's Mansion -CIB- $30
(NSW) Owl Boy - CIB - $15 SOLD
(NSW) Monster Hunter Rise w/ Steelbook (sealed w/ light tear) $40 Bundle with Magnamalo Amiibo for $50
(NSW) Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania Anniversary Edition - Sealed - (Cardboard sleeve squished.) $15
(NSW) Balan Wonderworld -CIB- $10
(NSW) Ori The Collection -CIB- Sealed postcards, OST Code redeemed. $25 SOLD
(NSW) Sakuna of Rice and Ruin -CIB- $20
(NSW) Chicken Police Paint it Red - CIB - $15
(NSW) Tales of Vesperia -CIB- $20
(NSW) Death's Door -CIB- $20 SOLD
Playstation
(PS1, PS2, PS3) Harry Potter Collection (ALL CIB): Sorcerers Stone (PS1), Chamber of Secrets GH (PS2), Prisoner of Azkaban (PS2), Goblet of Fire (PS2), Order of the Phoenix (PS3), Half Blood Prince (PS3), Deathly Hallows Part 1 (PS3), Deathly Hallows Part 2 (PS3). All games valued roughly $120. Take All for $100!!
(PS1) ONE -CIB- $10
(PS1) Animorphs Shattered Reality -CIB- $10
(PS1) Blaster Master: Blasting Again -CIB- $10
(PS1) Bugs Bunny Lost in Time -Game, Case and Artwork. Full Manual not included (looks like the staples were loose and the inner contents of the manual are gone but it does have the cover of the manual/game. $30
(PS1) Tomb Raider 2 -CIB- $10
(PS2) King Kong Official Game of the Movie -CIB- $8
(PS2) Dark Cloud -CIB- $12
(PS2) Dynasty Warriors 4 GH -CIB- $8
(PSP) Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII GH -CIB- $10
(PS3) Final Fantasy X-X2 HD Limited Edition. CIB (some water damage on lower side of box, see pics.) $10
(PS3) Disgaea 3 Absence of Justice -CIB- $10
(PS4) Dying Light The Following GH -CIB- $10
(PS4) The Wild at Heart -CIB- $20
(PS4) HOA -CIB- (OST Code redeemed) $10
(PS4) Little Nightmares 2 -CIB- $10
(PS4) My Hero Ones Justice 2 -CIB- $10
(PS4) Disgaea 5 -CIB- $10
(PS4) 13 Sentinels Aegis Rim Launch Edition w/ Artbook in protective sleeve -CIB- $35
(PS4) Grand Theft Auto V -CIB- $10
(PS4) The Evil Within 2 (has rental sticker on disc) - $10
(PS4) Biomutant - $8
(PS4) Katamari Damacy Reroll - $12
(PS4) The Nonary Games -CIB- $25
(PS4) God of War Ragnarok -CIB- $30
(PS4) Ghost of Tsushima -CIB- $30
(PS4) Tormented Souls -CIB- $15
(PS4) Overwatch Origins Edition Steelbook and disc - $15 Bundle with Reinhardt and Winston figures for $20 w/free shipping. (NOTE: Overwatch has gone free to play. You do not have to purchase this in order to play. This is a collectors item only.)
Amiibos
Sephiroth - NIB - $30
Olimar -Loose- $15
ROB -Loose- $15
Chibi Robo -Loose- $7
Wii Fit Trainer -Loose- $12
Magnamalo -Loose-$20 Bundle with game and steelbook for $50
Yarn Yoshi and Poochy (slight cut in tag) -Loose- $100
Cases and Misc.
Case and Manual Only! PS2 Rayman 3 Hoodlum Havoc FREE w/ purchase
Case and Manual Only! PS2 Need For Speed Carbon FREE w/ purchase
Case and Manual Only! PS1 Tekken 3 GH - $5
Wii Classic Controller White - $8
Other Media/Small Collectible
The Witcher: The Last Wish (Book) - $5
Persona 4: The Animation Blu-Ray bundle w/ wall scroll "poster" - $300 (Going off of Sold listings on eBay)
Hyperdimension Neptunia Blu-Ray - $30
Sailor Moon R The Movie Uncut Special DVD - CIB - $40
Portal 2 FuturePress Guide $10
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Seven ravens go with Arianne Martell to be Doran's eyes and ears to Aegon and the Golden Company in the Stormlands. And while Arianne's journey progresses she will likely need to make a choice... will she send the word 'dragon' home in a letter, the coded word asking for Dorne to call their spears and join Aegon's cause? Or will the word be 'war'? (...in this case 'war' means 'wait')... I'll let you decide - I assume most people's minds are pretty set on this point, and mine own is not really standard canon, so I will only say the last raven seems an ill omened thing as the seventh of a set is often linked to The Stranger, Westeros' god of death.
The topic I hoped to brainstorm today is not actually about what Arianne decides... but rather what happens next. Because I notice with a lot of theories the assumption is that the Dornish houses waiting on Arianne's response will march in lockstep with whatever her and Doran's order is... but... will they? Some of the Dornish houses seem pretty independent-minded and I feel there's been some fairly significant foreshadowing emerging that Doran's hold over the the kingdom is only tentative at best. That's worth discussing... In particular three houses seem to repeatedly stand out as possibilities to challenge the peace regardless of the Martells' wishes: Houses Yronwood, Fowler, and Uller....

House Fowler 🪶

The Fowlers make their home at Skyreach, a castle with a lofty perch and soaring stone towers carved into the stone slopes of the Red Mountains overlooking the Prince's Pass, one of two major overland routes into Dorne, and the easier to traverse of the two (the other being the steep and treacherous Boneway). The House is led by Lord Franklyn Fowler 'the Old Hawk', who has two twin daughters - Jeyne and Jennelyn. What could cause House Fowler to rebel against the Martells?
Sign #1 - The Fowlers closeness with Lady Nym
Oberyn's death was a rallying cry for a lot of Dorne desiring vengeance against the Lannisters, and in particular the news greatly effected the Sand Snakes - Nymeria Sand is said to be 'famously' close with the Fowler twins, she was actually with them the moment she learned of Oberyn's death, and it follows they likely sympathize with her position. In fact when Lady Nym first pitches Doran her plan to assassinate key Lannisters in King's Landing she does so by pleading the Fowler house words to him: "You know the Fowler words? Let Me Soar! That is all I ask of you. Let me soar, Uncle. I need no mighty host, only one sweet sister." And Doran would later tell Arianne that Nym is 'too close to the Fowler twins' (and thus unable to keep secrets from them). I imagine the Fowlers did not take the news well when they learned of Nymeria's imprisonment afterwards...
Sign #2 - Arianne's plea to Lord Fowler
Then when Arianne Martell is imprisoned herself after her Queenmaker plot she attempts to send out a secret message with one of her attendants to plead for help to free her from her father's grasp. She considers different options to address this letter to, someone ideally receptive to the idea of rebelling against Doran (which is no small thing to ask!) but also powerful enough to do so. Her first thoughts drift to Yronwood, but decides against them only because they fostered Quentyn and she believes he and Anders are conspiring against her, then goes through a few of the houses of her friends before finally deciding "that she had but two real hopes: Harmen Uller, Lord of Hellholt, and Franklyn Fowler, Lord of Skyreach and Warden of the Prince's Pass."
She ultimately decides to pen the letter to Lord Fowler because she thinks the Ullers as half-mad to the point of having a dangerous response. After that the attendant Cedra is presumably caught by Doran's men as she never reappears and Areo tells us that she was sent to the Water Gardens. But even without the letter actually going out the fact that she chose Lord Fowler to send this plea to probably says a lot about their overall relationship with Doran.
Sign #3 - A Toast to Tommen
In the Watcher chapter during the presentation of The Mountain's skull a toast to Tommen is made, and those who choose to drink or to refuse it give us another indication of the sentiments around Dorne... this is not subtly implied as much as it is directly pointed out by Areo:

The white knight did drink, as was only courteous. His companions likewise. So did the Princess Arianne, Lady Jordayne, the Lord of Godsgrace, the Knight of Lemonwood, the Lady of Ghost Hill … even Ellaria Sand, Prince Oberyn's beloved paramour, who had been with him in King's Landing when he died. Hotah paid more note to those who did not drink: Ser Daemon Sand, Lord Tremond Gargalen, the Fowler twins, Dagos Manwoody, the Ullers of the Hellholt, the Wyls of the Boneway. If there is trouble, it could start with one of them. Dorne was an angry and divided land, and Prince Doran's hold on it was not as firm as it might be. Many of his own lords thought him weak and would have welcomed open war with the Lannisters and the boy king on the Iron Throne.

Again the Fowler twins and Ullers show us that they still hold a lot of resentment. Daemon Sand makes sense too - he was part of Oberyn's retinue in King's Landing (sometimes rumored to have had a relationship with him) and watched him die, and after the Sand Snakes were imprisoned he went to Sunspear to demand their release and was imprisoned himself for the trouble. I'd keep an eye on him in Arianne's plot.
The Yronwoods weren't in attendance for the toast, however the Wyls were and refused it - I get the sense they are pretty close with the Yronwoods, both of which have their houses on the Boneway where they've joined forces. Another party that refused the toast, the Manwoodys, are stationed in the Prince's Pass and likely close allies with the Fowlers - lending more weight to the idea that this area is rebellious. House Gargelene is the one that's most difficult to place, being located in a fairly isolated spot in the south of Dorne at Salt Shore.
Sign #4 - The Troops in the Passes
By Arianne's TWOW excerpts we also hear that the troops in the Prince's Pass and the Boneway are becoming restless:

In the Boneway and the Prince’s Pass, two Dornish hosts had massed, and there they sat, sharpening their spears, polishing their armor, dicing, drinking, quarreling, their numbers dwindling by the day, waiting, waiting, waiting for the Prince of Dorne to loose them on the enemies of House Martell.

Darkstar's Plot
So how might the Fowlers act out? Outside of Arianne's raven being sent (and depending on the result), I think we should be keeping an eye on the Darkstar plot. Darkstar, per his own words and actions, seems to want to start a war against the crown and has presumably fled back to his home of High Hermitage in the Red Mountains where its implied he has support. He will probably pass by Starfall on the way up the Torrentine's rushing waters, but the Prince's Pass and Skyreach are both not that far from his location and in fitting with the prior indications of the Fowlers' intentions and Darkstar's overall goals he may try to incite the already anxious troops there to raid the Dornish Marches. These houses have a long history of animosity towards the Reach and Marcher Lords whose defenses will be exposed with Euron's attacks. Such an assault could parallel prior rogue leaders the Vulture Kings.

House Uller 🏜️

We've already seen that the Ullers play out somewhat similarly to the Fowlers - they were one of the major considerations for Arianne to send her plea for help to, and they were one of the parties notably refusing Tommen's toast. Lord Harmen Uller is the current Lord of the Hellholt, "a grim, stinking seat beside the sulfurous yellow waters of the Brimstone" located near the deep sands in the centesouth of Dorne.
There is a saying in Dorne we are told: 'half the Ullers are 'half-mad and the other half are worse.' And as Ellaria Sand is Lord Harmen's natural daughter when she and her little ones (Elia, Obella, Dorea, and Loreza) were locked away with the rest of the Sand Snakes Arianne thinks this would 'have made Lord Harmen wroth, and the Ullers were dangerous when wroth.' Its worth noting that in Arianne's Queenmaker plot her end goal was to get to Hellholt to officially crown Myrcella and raise her banners there...
What's interesting about Uller is that while they have a lot of reason to rebel there is at least one pacifying force headed their way - Ellaria Sand (who is also bringing Loreza with her). Ellaria sand accepted the toast to Tommen and despite having been Oberyn's paramour and closer to him than anyone as well as being there for his death, she is actually one of the strongest voices arguing for peace.

"A start?" said Ellaria Sand, incredulous. "Gods forbid. I would it were a finish. Tywin Lannister is dead. So are Robert Baratheon, Amory Lorch, and now Gregor Clegane, all those who had a hand in murdering Elia and her children. Even Joffrey, who was not yet born when Elia died. I saw the boy perish with mine own eyes, clawing at his throat as he tried to draw a breath. Who else is there to kill? Do Myrcella and Tommen need to die so the shades of Rhaenys and Aegon can be at rest? Where does it end?"

A Hidden Hellholt Chapter?
Given the Hellholts relative isolation you might be thinking how this could factor further into the plot.... maybe some news of Ellaria's daughters? Or later on if there is an invading force (as Ellaria and Doran fear is coming)? But I've actually been thinking that before Areo Hotah shows up in the Red Mountains we may get to see a chapter with him and Obara and Balon Swann at the Hellholt with Ellaria and Lord Harmen Uller, it would be rewarding to catch up with these characters and see their clashing perspectives on vengeance and Areo on the trail of Darkstar. Per some recent analysis of GRRM's chapter hints we can also kind of conclude there may be a few Areo chapters in varying locations. Another interesting thing pointing me in that direction is the soon to be released 2025 calendar which will be featuring artwork of the Hellholt... that's a strange inclusion for a castle with few mentions (the most relevant of which being Rhaenys' mysterious death long ago), and a lot of the other locations on the calendar do suspiciously have relevant plots nearing them in Winds (so if we haven't seen them already we may do so soon).
The logistics work out pretty well as Hellholt is practically a necessary stop on the way westward to the Red Mountains by land. Even though Arianne herself knows the desert well....

Beyond Vaith the deep sands waited. They would need help from Sandstone and the Hellholt to make that crossing, but she did not doubt that it would be forthcoming.

...Even she fears to tread the deep sands alone... and for Obara it may be the same despite her experience. You really should have a desert guide to locate water sources and navigate the terrain ("In the deep sands a man must hoard his water."). And one of the last safe stops for water and guides is the Hellholt making it invaluable for travelers crossing the sands. The sandstorms seem especially dangerous:

[...]beyond Vaith, western Dorne is naught but a vast sea of restless dunes where the sun beats down relentlessly, giving rise from time to time to savage sandstorms that can strip the flesh from a man's bones within minutes.

House Yronwood ⛓️

The Yronwoods are Dorne's second strongest house and their seat is located up in the high meadows of the Red Mountains near the Boneway where the air is always crisp and cool after dark, no matter how hot the day had been. Anders Yronwood, the Bloodroyal, is the leader here.
Even though previously we've seen a few signs that the Yronwoods may rebel given their brief consideration for Arianne's letter for help, and the Wyls' refusal of Tommen's toast, the biggest reason for them to strike out on their own might be their uniquely fractious relationship with the Martells (they also have a long rivalry with the Fowlers). In fact, we were told Yronwood was only just recently on the verge of rebellion after Oberyn allegedly poisoned Lord Edgar Yronwood in a duel after he was found abed with Edgar's paramour, and it was only Doran's quick thinking that avoided it.

Blood feud and rebellion would surely have followed Lord Edgar's death, had not her father acted at once. The Red Viper went to Oldtown, thence across to the narrow sea to Lys, though none dared call it exile. And in due time, Quentyn was given to Lord Anders to foster as a sign of trust. That helped to heal the breach between Sunspear and the Yronwoods, but it had opened new ones between Quentyn and the Sand Snakes...

Quentyn Aftermath & The Blackfyres
And the biggest thing that may reopen that wound is, not surprisingly, news of Quentyn's voyage. Anders Yronwood has lost two sons on what could be seen as a pretty foolish attempt to court Daenerys including his son and heir Cletus Yronwood, who was sent along on the voyage and died from a corsair attack off the coast of the Disputed Lands. The other son? Quentyn Martell himself.... despite him being a Martell, he is really more Yronwood at heart. He grew up in Yronwood with Anders, his best friend was Cletus, he became smitten with his eldest daughter Ynys (who is now heir to Yronwood), and then later fell in love with Gwyneth, the youngest daughter of Anders.... All of Quentyn's memories are with the Yronwood really and Arianne even notes he is somewhat a stranger to her and Sunspear. Doran himself is forced to admit that "Anders Yronwood has been more a father to him than I have".
Anders hasn't heard anything yet from Meereen, information moves slowly in Essos (which has no messenger ravens so it needs to be carried by hand) and most of the people who can pass on that message, like Arch and Drink, are still caught up in the Battle of Fire (and hoping that the Tattered Prince will be merciful to them for their previous desertion). Any news that might get back could end up with a distorted and unflattering picture of Daenerys too (and some of that fallout may carryover to Aegon who seeks to ally with her).
But even before it does the troops commanded by the Yronwoods in the Boneway are conveniently close to the events happening in the Stormlands with the Golden Company. And the Yronwoods have been suspiciously consistent partners of the Golden Company and Blackfyres in the past (which often drew in second houses with a lot to gain), which is all the more interesting given the rumors around Aegon ("Lords of Yronwood rode for the black dragon in no less than three of the five Blackfyre Rebellions.") So if Arianne seeks to side with Aegon and JonCon the Yronwoods might be the first to throw in with that cause... especially if its also a way to oppose Mace Tyrell given his hatred of all things Dorne. However, it might also be interesting if she takes after her father's advice to be cautious and tries to hold back her forces, leading to the Yronwoods ignorning her and Doran's commands and striking out on their own anyways. And it will be interesting how these events may combine with the x-factor of news of Quentyn and Cletus arriving at some point (whatever the timing of that might be in relation to the Battle of Steel).

So what do you think of Houses Fowler, Uller, and Yronwood... will we see them act out in Winds or play loyal bannermen to Doran?
~Thank you for Reading!~
TLDR This post explores the ample foreshadowing that Houses Fowler, Uller, and Yronwood may be unreliable allies of Doran when pressed, and their reaction may not follow what we'd expect when Arianne sends out her last raven either calling Dorne's spears to side with the Golden Company or holding off and keeping to the passes (taking after her father's more prudent advice). Could the Fowlers join with Darkstar and raid the Dornish Marches? Will we have a chapter at the Hellholt before Areo's party travels the deep sands where we see Lord Harmen Uller's rebellious nature collide with Ellaria Sand's attempts at peace? And will the Yronwood troops in the Boneway join their historic allies in the Golden Company, or have a divisive reaction to news of Quentyn and Cletus' deaths?

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