For context, my mom is an incredibly stubborn person who likes to think that she knows everything and can order me around because she is my mother. For instance, I had to argue with her for days to get rid of a cable box for a TV we never use for a service that's already redundant to what our ISP service provides over streaming. The rental equipment costs us 10$ a month for rental equipment, and we have 2 more in the house so I thought I should just get rid of it. It was hard fought but now they are paying less for the same functions.
I am now expanding this mission of money saving to self-hosting streaming services through a Plex ServePieHole I configured. The PieHole doesn't work because my ISP doesn't allow me to change the DNS setting on my router, but the Plex Server works fine to stream music and movies I rip from BluRays and records I own. I bought the lifetime pass a few days ago and I don't regret it. I unsubbed and deleted spotify from my phone the other day, and I got my dad to do it too. We are now saving 50$ a month with this investment and I can feel it.
Here's where we start butting heads: every single time she has issues with the internet, it's the server's fault. It's not the fact that the home shitty laptop she uses for work is slow and at 100% disk and CPU usage all the time. Nor is it the fact that she doesn't understand that the interface for the cable box and the android SmartTV are two different layers of similar apps.
She blamed the server for opening a menu and changing the channel, when in reality what happend was she clicked on the Samsung SmartTV app instead of the HDMI source output for the cable box.
Whenever we have a drop in the connection or Wi-Fi speeds it's always the server's fault, by extension, my fault. She has to use a tablet to submit her hours for work over wifi, and when that doesn't work it's my fault and the server.
Fast forward to today, my brother is home from college with his PC. Upon hooking it up our home network, apparently he had a few torrents going while he was away and I can only guess that's what sprang the alarm for my ISP. His roommate for school is going for IT, and I can only guess that he had a powerful network-wide VPN to cover both of them. Now that he's home, he's exposed to our ISP's .
Now my mom wants to throw the server out after getting the DMCA warning email, but the kicker is that the IP address and the device name is literally listed in the email - it's my brother's ffs. I know this because I assigned him the IP for the PieHole.
I'm so fucking tired of her ignorance and blaming things on me that is literally not my fault. I can't explain everything to her because she doesn't want to listen to me explain things that don't align woth her ignorance. She doesn't want to let me explain how it's my brother's IP and he is the culprit - I'm always at fault. We had a big argument the other day where it felt like she was finally going to lay off me and then this shit happens and basically visited her ignorance of what us me trying to save everyone hundreds of dollars a year.
Another question here: from what I've seen, DMCA letters are mostly empty threats. Is this true or should I be worried? The DMCA claim only covered 1 torrented file, and I understand that the maximum tolerance is 5 warnings. Can anyone confirm if I should be worried about my ISP coming after me?
Thanks for reading.

For context I'm a 30 year old failure/ joke of a man with a bachelors degree, who sorta fell off life's stable track five years ago. It started with an awful breakup with the love of my life, which unleashed a severe case of anxiety and depressive episodes which made me unfit to study or work. I was really sick. Then Corona happened and well the shutdowns and stuff made putting off stuff "easier" i guess but it also reinvigorated and reinforced old scars.
Then I had a somatic condition that required surgery with an awkward wound that took the better part of year to heal. No work no studying. No we're almost three and some years in people. Then as I was getting ready to start something and be myself again the worst thing happened. My mom and only parent died the 23rd of December and I found her Christmas Day. I was mostly alone in handling that. That ordeal completely crushed me, and cost another year of bullshit. Then I found my long lost dad who basically abandoned me. That made everything come back to me and made me realize how much I've lost.
Now it's all gone. Lost some of the best years of my life. My parents are gone, my friends have become strangers, I've become isolated, depression brain-dumb, and ofc gained weight. I'm uglier and dumber than I have ever been before. I've lost everyone and everything I ever cared about. My identity, hope for the future and essence of who I was has turned into dust. I am so ashamed for having wasted the gifts of the opportunities I was given. I'm so sorry and so mad at myself for being this terrible at getting my act in order. I'm so tired of not being myself and being a boy in a man's shape. I'm such laughing stock, and I don't blame anyone for not taking me serious.
So here I am so very tired, so alone and so utterly done. Some part of me knows that it's me who's the problem. Let's face it, if everything's turned into dust and all the people who I loved aren't there anymore then what's the common denominator? Me. I am clearly not good enough, otherwise I would matter to someone in a significant way. I don't, and I don't blame them, it's my responsibility and fault. I don't fit in, and I'm clearly not robust enough to deal with the world. I guess I'm just the dead end of the gene pool, the individual who lost because other people have better genes and personality traits to pass on.
So I think it's soon time to end this charade of a life. Part of me thinks (and it's a cringe reference which makes me sound like a parody of a Reddit otaku edge lord who studied the blade) that it's reminiscent of a samurai committing seppuku. I know that I have utterly failed, and deserve death. I should stop wasting peoples time and planetary resources, end it all and regain just a smudge of well, honor is kind of a dead term so I'll use, self-respect instead. I'll have peace and they'll know "okay damn he actually had the courage to do it" and at the same time be subconsciously grateful for being elated over not having to worry. My non practical navel gazing bullshit that's really not anyone else's problem or concern can go away along with me.
I am getting treatment but I do feel myself slipping and have had some trial runs. I really feel like I'm one or two bad experiences away from digging out some alcohol for courage and just getting on with it. Wrote letters way back. Everything's "settled" so I can just step off at any time.
Weird place to be. I don't really know what the purpose of this post is. Maybe it's just emotions. I don't know. I don't think I have long to live. Whatever you do whoever might be reading this post:
Never let go of everything. Don't waste as much time as me. Do not avoid living out of fear of losing everything, because believe me you might just loose it all while you're being paralyzed.

Last week, when I was on a very rare vacation from saving guys from lives of loneliness, someone posted a question asking if AFA is a scam.
I am just going to answer it here, because my answer is long and detailed.
Romance Is HARD!
First, the dating industry is simply impossible, because it is trying to help people, often deeply flawed people, find love. This is the most personal, most private, and most deeply emotional journey in someone's life and it is a challenging journey for everyone. Most first dates don't lead to second dates and most second dates don't lead to people becoming a couple, and most couples do not get married, and over 40% of American couples are not married ten years later.
But if at any point in this chain an AFA client ends up angry and disappointed - including decades later - he very well might rage that AFA is a scam.
And the Romance Industry Is HARDER Than Regular Romance!
AFA is not just an electronic introduction app like Tinder or other dating apps. They actually introduces thousands of men and women in person every single year.
They employee dozens of matchmakers and have scores of affiliated dating agencies in Ukraine, Thailand, Colombia, and roughly a dozen other countries. That is complicated. They have something like 30k women in the database. That is a huge logistical challenge.
In fact, if you really think about it is amazing how successful they have been.
But lets look closer at the overwhelming proof they are not a scam:
AFA Has Been In Business Almost Thirty Years.
If they were a scam they would have been sued out of existence long ago. They are based in Phoenix. They are not some mysterious site with an office in Malta. They can be sued or even prosecuted under US law.
AFA Is Almost The Only American International Matchmaker Left In Business
IMBRA has a whole slew of requirements, including inspections by the US State Department, and most other matchmakers either collapsed under the pressure or moved off-shore. AFA didn't. That alone speaks volumes for their integrity.
AFA Has Introduced Tens of Thousands of Happy Couples.
Take a look at the testimonials. They have hundreds of testimonials and on this sub they have numerous defenders who actually have used their service.
AFA Has Been Relentlessly Investigated By the Media Over and Over
Reporters love breaking big stories of crime, corruption and scandal. Most of the journalists who have looked at AFA over the last thirty years have thought they were going to break a big story because of the urban legends about international dating. But take a look at their media page. It is almost universally positive, and if its really a scam all of these people have to be in on it too.
AFA Has Been Studied By Academics In More Detail Than Any Dating Company
But my favorite source on AFA are the numerous academics who have studied them - often for years on end - over the years. These scholars were often certain they were going to uncover a worldwide criminal conspiracy. Instead, most of them become openly supportive.
You can read an entire article about academic research on international dating,but here is the conclusion of Dr. Julia Meszaros after studying the company for several years, attending numerous socials, and interviewing scores of participants. She wrote: “…AFA is a completely legal, legitimate marriage introduction agency....”
Are they all in on the scam? Well, I can assure you if they had discovered it was a worldwide criminal conspiracy they would have gotten tenure faster and sold more books.
Joking aside, the academics are in the best position to determine what AFA's operations and motives are, because they are intelligent, driven, and often spend years studying the company.
AFA Is NOT Perfect
AFA has problems. Their letter system is loaded with issues, but it also allows men to contact women they could never meet otherwise. I have discussed these issues in scores of posts.
And, unlike any of the large dating apps, AFA does vet its women. That is incredibly rare, because most dating apps are loaded with fake profiles and bots.
A few years ago Ashley Madison's female profiles were over 99% fake, and most studies find at least 10% of profiles on the big domestic apps are fake. The owner of one small app, Findmate, who spends a lot of time vetting profiles claims about 75-80% of profiles he receives from the main international dating countries are from sophisticated scammer gangs.
So, AFA does try to vet everyone, but it cannot see into a woman's heart. Yes, she could just lie to them throughout the process about her intentions, and guess what? Even the CIA and MI-5 have failed to catch every bad apple and they really vet their applicants. Some liars get through. That's life.
Evaluate The Evidence Yourself
I purposely leave up posts, because Reddit is FULL of power crazy mods who delete everyone who disagrees with them and bans many users regularly. I have been banned many times and I find it incredibly annoying, so I almost never ban anyone and rarely remove comments.
I am trying to encourage guys to do their own research and decide for themselves what is best. So, take a look at the evidence and decide for yourself what you believe is the best approach.
Best Wishes!

[CW: talk of ableism and trauma]
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TL;DR: My dad said to my mom when I took out my new fidget toy after a fairly traumatic day: “he’s (not my preferred pronouns) just going into ‘Autistic Mode’”. He said that he would look into group homes tomorrow again because I “treat them like shit”. I shut down around them, and have been doing so for at least a week or more. I don’t have a job, freshly graduated from college as of December, and I have been struggling to get interviews. I have been using my university’s career services and got accepted into Vocational Rehab, but my parents keep threatening to kick me out of the house and be done with me.
——————————
For reference, I am highly confident I am Autistic and ADHD, but I have not been officially diagnosed. I have a referral and am in the process. My med manager is treating me with non-stimulants which work well and have increased executive function. I have also been exploring my being queer over the last few years, but only recently tried to explain to my parents in totality last November.
I knew they are queerphobic, and I knew that I annoy / upset them when I don’t talk and engage, and that when I talk it’s too much and not about the right thing. I just wanted to believe I was wrong. I wanted to believe I was reading into things because I’ve had so many past experiences where what I felt and what I thought turned out to be false. And they say they love me, and they love me so much that they hate to see me in pain, and so I wanted to believe that it’s true.
The last few days have been hard. My parents had family friends over (that have known me since I was a baby, and they have two adult children that didn’t come this round) for memorial day weekend from out of state. Since seeing the friends last, I have been doing a lot of self-discovery and further accepting the queer parts of myself. I hadn’t been planning to change my name, until by happenstance I found one online that I wanted to be mine due to it's simplicity and androgynous nature. But my parents (and my brother, though he has trans friends) have not been supportive. I just thought they raised me and gave me a name they picked out and so didn’t want to use a new one. It doesn’t make it better, but it’s something.
But they have made it clear in past conversations that it would be unfair for me to tell family friends and extended relatives. And so I spent all of last week before the weekend trying to debate whether I should tell the family friends that were coming over in a text message before they arrived. I tried to summon the courage, but I ended up not doing that. So when I first saw them, I shut down when their first words were “Hey, ”. I decided that I would make myself scarce because I knew I would just keep shutting down and having trouble speaking with them. Literally, it would be the same as with my parents where either the words don’t come or I don’t have the energy to get them past my throat.
So, I tried to be polite when I saw them and just didn’t engage in extensive conversation. When they left, my dad told me I was rude and selfish, and that I need to write them a letter to apologize. I ended up sending them a text today to apologize (didn't explain everything), but I didn’t want to send a letter because I am tired of using my dead name, and I would need to sign it.
I have been trying to avoid my parents even though we live in the same house because I don’t have a job yet. I recently graduated from college in December, but I have not been able to get interviews. I have been making use of my university’s career services and made appointments with the head of engineering to make my resume more appealing in terms of software engineering. I graduated with Interdisciplinary Studies focusing on Computer Science, Creative Writing, and Linguistics. I just want a job right now, and computer jobs pay well. I am hoping to figure out something beneficial in Creative Writing later, maybe Ghost Writing or something that might pay better than that. I also got accepted to use Vocational Rehab, and so I have been working with them.
But, since I am avoiding my parents, they believe I am trying to make it clear that I hate them. They consistently say that I “treat them like shit” and I am “lazy and just want an easy life”. Today has been a hard day after all the turmoil over the last week, and so I have had very little energy. I thought I could be experiencing depression, but I know what that feels like and where it leads. I am not there yet. So, I think the best word to describe it is probably dejected. Like the people who are constantly in my life don’t want me. In the late afternoon, I decided I didn’t just want to sit up in my room anymore, so I drove down to my bookstore to browse, and then checked to see if I could refill my meds. I had about an hour where I started feeling happy and enjoying myself, especially being able to browse the books and look at the descriptions on the back and recording the ones I want to read for later.
When I got home for dinner so my parents didn’t get mad, it was like all that happiness disappeared the moment I saw them. I could not move my face even if I wanted to, to pretend like I was cheery and all right. We got dinner out, and then I sat down. The counselor I like seeing at career services is also an ADHDer. I saw her last week to go over more plans for jobs, and she showed me the various baskets of stim toys she keeps on her bookshelf to hand out to students. She gave me one that’s a tightly knit, long rectangle and has a small glass ball inside. You squeeze it and the ball moves back and forth.
I haven’t used stim toys much growing up because I thought I was supposed to bear all the frustration and anxiety. But I have been trying to treat myself kinder over the last few months. So, I’ve been taking that stim toy with me, and had it when I went to the bookstore. With dinner set up, my parents were trying to get me to interact and “be better”. Without thinking, I took out the stim toy. My dad said I was going into “Autistic Mode” and that they can’t do anything. He will look at group homes again tomorrow.
…
Up until that moment, I had doubts. I thought that they really were trying to accept me and it was just hard, especially with all the queerness and years of mental health management (since 2019 when I broke down). But over the last month or so, I’ve had various times where I needed to record my mental health history for intake and I started talking about my parents and how I am starting to recognize the gaslighting and emotional abuse.
I have also been trying hard to remember the good moments. But I can't remember a moment where I was showing signs I am clearly Autistic or ADHD, and that they genuinely enjoyed and loved it. Especially as I've gotten older. I remember them expecting me to get good grades in school from the beginning. If it wasn't "A"s they were upset, and if I failed a test they told me to study again and took me down to school to convince the teacher to let me test again. If I couldn't prove I knew the material and the teacher didn't let me retake it, then I was shunned on the way home.
I want so much to be wrong. I want so much for them to be right and that it's me who is abusing them like they say it is. I don't know why--I don't really feel any emotional love for them and I don't think I ever did, I just don't want them to suffer--but if I am the one who's hurting them then maybe I can change and stop. Maybe I can get better and show them love and be nice to them like they deserve. I wouldn't need to make a plan to estrange myself from them when I am on my feet to better take care of myself. I wish it was me.
I don't know why I am writing all of this. You all have your own problems and don't need to load on mine, and I am not going to pretend I have it the worst even just in my own city. I also feel manipulative, like I am only writing the bad parts and that I should try to remember and describe the good parts.
I just don't have anyone I can talk to right now. I have been out of therapy for a few months. I have been on wait lists for more experienced therapists dealing with gender-affirming care, since that has become a bigger problem. I have something scheduled for the middle of next month with a more general therapist and a referral to a specialized therapist as well.
But I just want to talk to someone who understands. I don't have that in my life. When doctors ask me if I have anyone I can just vent to or trust, I can't think of anyone. I have one friend, but since graduating we only meet up once a month. I can share a lot with her and she is supportive, but then I feel like that one meeting is filled with me trying to vent and seek therapy from her. I don't really want more social interaction, but I want to feel like someone sees me, the real me, and they actually like what they see.
I plan to call the suicide hotline tomorrow. Not because I am suicidal, but because I was told I don't need to be suicidal to call. I know my parents will hear me on the phone if I call tonight, and I don't really want to spend a long time writing out the words in a text to the text number to explain everything when the person on the other end might not be able to fully understand, and so they would just tell me what they think I need to hear. But I guess I'd get the same from the phone call.
I don't know how to wrap this up, and it sounds when I read this over like I am quite lucid and therefore being petty by putting this here. I am lucid, but it doesn't really help me feel better. I can't lie to myself anymore; I've been trying so hard to not lie to myself when I spot it. I am sorry for the long rambling and various tangents. I just want to put this somewhere where people might understand.

For the past week, I've been remembering things from my past that I'm ashamed and guilty of, like big mistakes I made that hurt people that I've apologized to by now and they've forgotten about it, plus just tonight I got a letter from some company I've never heard of saying my info got hacked in a data leak, and I've been deleting/changing passwords to prevent this again bc I checked on "Have I Been Pwned," and I was, which showed that just some usernames and passwords were leaked, but apparently so was my IP, email, and location, though that was on Wattpad, so I'm not too worried about that I think, and now I'm anxious asf that maybe my info like my SSID and browser history could've been/could be out there, even though I'm sure they're not bc I probably would've known, and I'm scared as to what would happen to me of they were bc who knows what would happen then!!?
Fuck, this week has had my anxiety, guilt, and self-loathing almost as bad as the last time I moved! I don't know how much sleep, if any I'm gonna get tonight, or if I'll still be worried about this tomorrow! EVEN THOUGH I THINK I FIXED THE PROBLEM, I CAN'T STOP CONSIDERING THE WORST OUTCOME!!! FUCKKKK!!!!!!!! I wish I could afford a fucking therapist to talk this shit out with, but I can't! My next best hope is that while summer courses are happening at my University I can see if there's a counselor I can talk to who might have some tips for me, because holy SHIT my anxiety's never been this bad! God dammit, fuck me!

Demographics: * Gender: Female * race/ethnicity: African American * state: Missouri * First-gen * type of school: Large public school with ~1,600 students (no class rank) * Hooks: First-gen, Extremely Low Income, (hopefully) filing FAFSA as independent, lives in single guardian (sibling) household
Intended Major(s): * Major in Journalism * Minor in Elementary Education * (possibly minor in Spanish)
ACT/SAT/SAT II: * Not to self-deprecate but the scores are pretty bad. * ACT * 26 Composite * Math : 22 * Science : 25 * English : 28 * Reading : 30 * Will take SAT * PSAT=1210, English strengths
UW/W GPA and Rank: * GPA * 3.7 weighted , N/A unweighted
APS * World History - 5 * U.S. Gov & Poli (junior) - ? * English Lang & Comp (junior) - ? * Human Geography (next year)
Awards: * nothing really * ‘Superstar’ award (best student) from math teacher. * Cheerleading: 3rd place (in our division) in the state. * (Hopefully certificate of bi-literacy next year 🤞🏽 )
Sports * Varsity Cheer (2 years) * JV Cheer (1 year) * Varsity Girls Track & Field (1-2yrs) * Varsity Girls Wrestling (1 year)
Other Extracurriculars * Varsity Scholar Bowl (2 years) * Student Council (3 years) * Yearbook Staff (2 years) * 4 years of Spanish Courses
Leadership Roles * NHS (National Honors Society : 1-2 yrs) * Student Council Chair * Student Rep Chair (2 yrs) * Social Media Chair (1 yr) * Quill & Scroll (Journalism Honors Society) * 1-2 yrs * Black Student Honor Society (3 yrs) * Social Media Advisor (1yr) * Scholar Bowl Social Media Advisor (1yr) * (Attempting to create a Spanish club during senior year, will be the president)
Summer (educational) Programs: * ~ 10-day long educational trip to Australia during summer before junior year (through school district) * (Applying for NSIL-Y for the 2nd time this coming fall with the hopes of getting into the Korean or Indonesian summer programs) * (Fall) Yearly HBCU college fair in Virginia (attempting to apply in person to Howard & Spelman there next year). * (probably doesn't count) UCA Cheer camp over the summer (2 yrs)
Essays: N/A (honors student yet I suck at writing about myself)
Recommendation Letters: Haven’t requested them yet, but planning on… * Math Teacher :) - Have him currently, he’s a thorough writer (theater kid), chose me as his student of the year, also my scholar bowl coach. * Journalism/Yearbook Teacher - Love him, teacher for 3 years, has worked with him through yearbook camps & college visits, connections at MIZZOU. * 1 of my school’s 5 principals - Known her for 3 years, Black Honors Society & BSU sponsor (I’m in both & she’s a fellow black woman), she’s currently going to an HBCU (would be good for Howard & Spelman), will most likely go on an HBCU trip with her next spring.
Schools: * University of Hawaii, Manoa (DREAM) * Howard (HBCU DREAM!!) * Spelman College * Mizzou * NYU (extreme reach but dream reach) * UCLA (reach)
Schools (I haven't researched thoroughly): Richmond American University (London), NYU (Bueno Aires Campus), Saint Louis University (Spain Campus)
I know I'm not doing any cool/exceptionally competitive majors (like comp sci or engineering), so with college I'm more interested in the environment. Help me out! 🤍

Looking for some advice. My accountant reached out to me today saying that it would make sense to form a business entity for my self employment income. In his exact works following that introduction, he said "We can save you roughly 10% or more by changing you to a specific type of corp (and implementing a few other items)." Coincidentally, he also let me know he bills $360/hr for consultations.
By no means am I a tax professional so any help is appreciated.
For context, my 2023 income was slightly above 350k w2/k1 income and slightly less than 50k 1099 income
Thanks!

Hi all. Long ramble ahead. I’ve been grappling with this for years and my friends are sick of hearing me whine, so it's time to turn to strangers on the internet.
I’m an actor. Just a hobbyist, I do community theatre, although if I’d found theatre earlier in life, it’d probably be my (aspirational) career. I love it so much— doing it, reading about it, studying theory, taking lessons, acting, directing, teaching. I volunteer. I make props. I build sets. I’ve dabbled in costumes, lights, sound. I’m so obsessed, I feel like a parody of myself because it’s all I talk about.
Now, back in time a little bit. A few years ago, I met a guy at my “home base" community theater. At the time, I was 20, and he was 37. We flirted through a couple shows, then began a sexual relationship. I had always had a thing for older guys, so at the time, this kinda felt like a dream come true. He seemed like a really standup guy.
The casual sexual relationship eventually became a romantic one, as these things often go. After 6 months of dating, I broke up with him over a few recurring arguments. I'd put up with these things because, well, I loved him— plus, this was my first real relationship. He knew more about relationships than me, so I just followed his lead.
It didn’t help that he often made me feel bad for the way I felt. When I didn’t want to see him as frequently as he liked, he would sometimes suggest that it was a psychological issue that I needed to get to the root of. When we didn’t have sex as often as he liked, he’d ask if there might be something causing my “low libido” that I should check out with my doctor. He was quick to pathologize things he perceived as problems with me.
Resultantly, after breaking up, I questioned myself over everything. Was I a bad partner? Was I selfish? Did I have some kind of psychological problem making me undateable? I went back to therapy and spent many sessions discussing the toll this took on my sense of self.
Fast forward. Theaters are opening up again, and I start rubbing elbows with his guy as theatre colleagues again. This was fine— the breakup was actually pretty amicable for the most part (I had internalized all the self-doubt as a me problem rather than a “how dare he do this to me” problem). In fact, we still sporadically slept together (not my proudest moments).
He ends up directing a show at the theatre where we met, our mutual theatrical home-away-from-home. I audition and get cast. Right before rehearsals started, I told him we couldn’t sleep together anymore— I’d gotten my birth control implant out and didn’t trust condoms. He got angry when I told him this, which made the start of rehearsals very awkward, since we were both pissed at each other.
The rehearsal process itself was also rocky. For a variety of reasons, we got behind the curve almost immediately with rehearsals and just never recovered. Every part of the process became really rushed and chaotic. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I did not handle this flawlessly. But I handled it in two ways:
One, I complained. A lot. About a lot of things, and, admittedly, probably more than was fair. I want to be clear that it was never personal— I complained about production issues, never about people personally. And these complaints weren’t a secret— at first, I was (diplomatically) voicing my concerns to my ex, but he consistently brushed me off, so the complaints were relegated to private venting sessions with my friends.
Two: spending tons of extra time, money, and energy on the show. I stepped up. I stayed after rehearsals for extra practice. I brought snacks for the cast to share. I made sure to hype cast members up constantly. I made promotional materials. I personally bought supplies to fix the lead’s costume (the skirt the costumer gave her couldn’t zip, and at one rehearsal she accidentally flashed us on stage as a result, so I bought supplies to secure it another way— I’m still kind mad about this one, because it’s just really unconscionable to send a young actor on stage in clothes that may literally fall off her body, but I digress…). I did a ton of free labor for this show.
After the show, my ex told me that he was furious over how I’d behaved. He said my friends in that show “really brought out the worst in me,” and told me that everyone in the cast had personally gone to him to complain about what a horrible person I was. He also told me that he was quitting the staff of the show I was directing later that year, leaving my first directorial experience ever without a tech director. We screamed at each other on the phone after closing night, until he blocked my number and un-friended me on social media. I spent the next year and a half or so convinced that everyone at the community theatre hated me because of that show, so I stayed away from the theater I loved so much.
By now, I’ve learned a lot of things about my ex and the situation at the theatre that really make my stomach turn:

1. He has apparently been notorious for seeking out younger women since college. Someone he went to school with said she remembers him as a senior hitting on all the freshmen girls. This really hurt my feelings, because when he and I started dating, I asked younger women were his thing, but he said no and implied that I was “special.”
   
2. He tried to sabotage my getting my first directorial experience in the first place— he told higher-ups at the theatre that I was “acting like I already had the show,” making them think I was presumptuous and egotistical. This just never happened. Thankfully, I got the show anyway.
   
3. He’s told other directors about what a nightmare me and my “new friends” from his show were to work with. I’d harbored suspicions of being blacklisted, but a friend of mine had this confirmed by a director he was working with. Every time I get cut from a show, I still wonder if it’s somehow my ex’s doing (which is definitely pretty paranoid… but can you blame me?)
   
4. Most hurtful: he lied about everyone being mad at me over the show. After a long time of avoiding them, I’ve talked to some people who were in that cast, and they’ve all said they were frustrated at my ex and never had any complaints about me. This genuinely boggled my mind. I spent two years thinking I was an awful person who everyone hated, and that was all just a lie that my ex told me, on purpose, to make me feel horrible.
   

So that all leads me to where I am now. I’ve hardly been able to get into shows (1 in the two years since). I’m so desperately jealous whenever I see casting announcements. My ex keeps landing endless opportunities, acting, directing, or tech directing. And he continues hitting on young women. I hear rumors about it constantly. It just seems like he continues to win, continues to operate totally unchecked, and I… can’t get anywhere. I feel so stuck. I just really miss that community theatre that I used to love, and I’m so fucking jealous of all the people who just get to have fun there. I'm trying to branch out into some new communities where he has no connections, but it's difficult.
TLDR: my ex boyfriend is a very successful, manipulative creep who ruined my reputation at my theatrical home-away-from-home, and I can’t do anything about it without looking like an evil, jealous ex.
Just sucks big time. Thanks for letting me vent, sorry this is so long.

I'd filed for an OCI three years ago for my older kid. Now it was time to do it for my younger child. And of course I came to learn that the process had changed just a tad bit.
As always, VFS makes things so super complicated that it makes one want to pull their hair out. I felt like a bird flying amidst clouds of confusion and ambiguity. When I came to this sub to seek clarification on multiple things, I only found fragmented pieces of information scattered across many posts. So I decided to share my most recent experience here as to what I did with my minor OCI application. Here it goes.
STEP 1 - Fill out the government form online.
Here, you upload the photograph and the thumbprint to the portal. For the thumbprint, you can order any non-toxic inkpad from Amazon. Both the photo and thumbprint images have to conform to a specific size ratio. I just put my child's thumbprint on a blank piece of paper in multiple places. Then I scanned that piece of paper, and cropped in the thumbprint I wanted. Once these two files were uploaded, I proceeded to fill out the form.
After the form had been completed, it was time to upload the supporting documents. All files need to be under 1000Kb. They're very strict about this. I used Preview (Macbook) to reduce the PDF file size. Not always did this work the first time, so it took a bit of trial and error with the compression quality to get the desired size. Now, the only form that needed a notary at this point is the Parental Auth form. Both mom and dad need to sign this with the notary as witness. Once you upload all forms, you can submit the applicatiom and download the government form.
STEP 2 - Prepare the VFS package
First, register on the VFS portal by using the File Reference Number from the government form. Next, pay the fees. Beware, VFS auto-selects additional services like photo and what not, but you really don't need that. Just take the bare minimum service which is the cost to send the application in. Do take the courier label service as it takes away the pain of you having to send in return labels.
Now, assemble your package. At this point, you need to make another trip to the notary for the Affidavit (in lieu of originals) form.
In your entire package, there are only two forms that need notary. The parental auth form (which you notarized during Step 1), and the Affidavit form which you notarized during Step 2.
Now the government form needs wet signatures on page 3. I put my child's thumbprint in the applicant signature space (this is in addition to having uploaded a scanned copy of the thumbprint during Step 1). Next, I signed the minor section of the form as the parent.
Then I generated copies of all relevant documents. I self attested it by writing on it what the copy is for, signing it, and then dating it.
I also signed the Undertaking and the Consent letters.
I also printed the VFS fee receipt document to he included in the package.
Finally, I enclosed two photographs of my child. I just put them in a small envelope (did not staple or paste them to the government form).
This is pretty much what I did. Now the waiting game has begun. Let's hope the OCI card comes through after all 🤞

TL;DR: is “My Tears Ricochet” a letter from Taylor AND the Gaylors to Taylor™️?
I am a baby Gaylor (but all in and full fledged) and this is my first genuine post to this community. Please forgive me if this has been done before!
Throughout the rollout and processing of TTPD, I was inclined to go back through Folkmore. As a pansexual who was in a closet surrounded by fundamentalists on all sides for much of life, I CANNOT believe these albums are just “fictional stories”. There are a lot of songs on both albums that seem to back this theory up (IMO), but the lyrics that I really wanted to focus on are those of “My Tears Ricochet.”
“We gather here, we line up weeping in a sunlit room” - This is, at face value, the obvious imagery of a funeral. I believe this is the funeral of real Taylor being laid to rest by Taylor™️ after the failed coming out of 2019.
“And if I’m on fire, you’ll be made of ashes too”

 - Real Taylor is telling Taylor™️ that, even she stays in the closet forever, it will always affect Taylor™️ since they’re always going to be interwoven together by the very nature of humanity. 

“Even on my worst day, did I deserve babe All the hell you gave me Because I loved you, I swear I loved you Until my dying day”
“I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace”

 - To me, this really sounds like real Taylor admitting that she’s allowed herself to be seen minimally and couldn’t be completely silenced because that is her TRUE self. She can’t “gracefully” keep her true, queer self completely quiet. 

“And you’re the hero flying around saving face”

 - I think the ‘hero’ is Taylor™️ (and possibly a layered reference to Tree) and all the PR damage control after all the various scandals (Kissgate, all the bearding/PR relationships that were ultra flimsy, etcetera) to keep the public eye from speculating TOO MUCH (except for Gaylors, of course lol) 

“And if I’m dead to you why are you at the wake?”

 - Real Taylor here is referring to the 2019 failed coming out as her “death” and Taylor™️ still being at the funeral for real Taylor could symbolize all the queer flagging she continues to ramp up for us to see, even after the failed coming out. 

“Cursing my name, wishing I stayed, look at how my tears ricochet”

 - I think this is real Taylor expressing regret and disappointment that she didn’t go through with coming out in 2019 anyway, despite the masters fiasco. The decision to use the word “ricochet” seems very intentional to me, as we know our girlie likes to be meticulous. The actual definition is that of a projectile object striking a surface and bouncing off of it to land on a different surface (paraphrasing). I think she’s referring to the pain of not being able to come out being shared and felt by all the Gaylors/fans that were let down by the failed event of 2019. She’s acknowledging that other people beside her were hurt by it and making sure Taylor™️ and the team know that. 

“We gather stones, never knowing what they’ll mean; some to throw, some to make a diamond ring”

 - I think the stones represent all of her Easter eggs. The “stones to throw” would be all of the red herrings and the stones to “make a diamond ring” would represent all of her flagging for those she knows understand them. 

“You know I didn’t want to have to haunt you but what a ghostly scene”

 - Real Taylor musing that she wouldn’t be still dropping all the clues and eggs from Taylor™️ for her supportive Gaylors if she had been able to come out in 2019. 

“You wear the same jewels that I gave you as you bury me”

 - I think the jewels represent all of the new fans and exposure that Taylor™️ received during her public allyship through the rollout of Lover leading up the failed coming out. Taylor™️ has been able to keep most, if not all, of those things - even after the failed coming out. 

“I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace because when I’d fight you used to tell me I was brave And if I am dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet”
“And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want, just not home”

 - Real Taylor is alive and well in the hearts and minds of the Gaylors and she knows that, but “home” could represent the merging of her true identity with the brand, bringing congruency to her existence. In this case, it’s the one thing that hasn’t been able to happen. 

“And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones”

 - No matter how much Taylor™️ has tried to shut out real Taylor, real Taylor cannot be completely silenced because it is her true identity. 

“And I still talk to you, when I’m screaming at the sky And when you can’t sleep at night, you hear my stolen lullabies”

 - To me, this seems like a direct reference to the stolen masters. The phrase “stolen lullabies” feels so specific and that event is what is largely speculated to be what derailed her coming out. 

“I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace So the battleships will sink beneath the waves”

 - This is not the only time that Taylor refers to “ships beneath waves”. I can specifically reference the intro to “Gold Rush” where she mentions “hearts are sinking ships”. I would love it if someone else had some references from other lyrics or if there’s any other lore out there already regarding “ships” that I’m missing, but it stood out to me for sure. 

“You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same”

 - Even though Taylor™️ determined it was better for the brand to cancel the coming out, this could still be the pain of loss that Taylor feels for the missed out trajectory that WOULD have been Taylor™️ following Karma and the coming out. 

“Cursing my name, wishing I’d stayed You turned into your worst fears”

 - Taylor regretting that she stayed in the closet, likely realizing she compromised on something so precious to her. 

“And you’re tossing out blame, drunk on this pain Crossing out the good years”

 - This is a pretty good reach here (🤡) but I can’t get out of my head that this could even reference the long-suspected drunken liking-spree she went on after Kissgate, was either forced to undo all of that the next day (or came to her closeted senses 😫) and felt like she was “crossing out the good years” that she could be enjoying the full freedom of being her full self in the open during the prime of her life. 

“Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet”
Phew…. That was a doozy. Thanks for hanging in there! 🤡

(apologize for the long post, I just want to get all of this out, hoping that someone can understand me)
"Girls are naturally emotional, they are supposed to laugh & cry a lot over simple things, have fun and be bubbly cute all the time, etc.
I don't remember where I've heard it from. But I have been thinking about this statement a lot lately, what it means to be a normal human female?
Whenever I observed my friends & colleagues, I noticed how they laugh over silly things, cry, complain & gossip about trivia topics like celebrity, popstar, boyfriends, drama, etc.
How "happy & full of life" they were, how little effort they put into having fun with everyday simple things. Then I asked myself "Why?"
Why can't I be like them?, why can't I feel any emotions?, why can't I act like what "normal girl" supposed to act?
I googling intensively about my current conditions, maybe I might have autism, antisocial disorder, avoidant, introvert, Alexithymia, Dysthymia, etc.
But deep inside, I've already know the right answer. It is because I "choose" to condition myself to be this way to cope with trauma.
Growing up, I don't have much of a stable childhood, my parents often arguing with each other, they are abusive, narcissistic and demand that I must conform to their worldview and religions, or else face severe punishment. they don't care when I cry, hurt or wanting to be myself. All they care about is controlling me.
A classic case of child abuse, right? But instead of developing daddy issue, alcohol/drug addiction or any escapism, I saw "the writing on the wall" from many example of troubled kids on the internet and finally decided that I want to be something different.
So I decided to toughen up, and buried my own feelings & personality deep into the corner of my mind. So that on the surface, I can conform, following their command and become the "perfect child" that they wanted me to be.
This become my "default personality". During middle school & puberty years, instead of rebelling and expressing my suffering out loud, I keep it all inside and isolate myself from the world. During highschool years, I have mastered the art of "people pleasing" I said things people generally want to hear, agree with everyone opinions, never arguing. Being a "good girl & teacher pet" so to speak. I like appealing to the authority for my own comfort & safety. But in the end, a lot of my "friends" has saw through my fake people pleasing persona. So by the end of highschool, I only have a few "shallow friends" left without any deeper connections to anyone beyond them taking advantage of my kindness.
So in college, I decided to tone down my "people pleaser" and learn to stand my ground. I'm still appealing to professors & authority for my benefits, but I won't let anyone used or walk over me ever again. So I put my guard up & developed a mental barrier to only let a small group of people be "friends" with me, without developing into something deeper.
For I fear that if I'm allowed people to see what I'm truly am inside, they will be disturb at how hollow & empty the "real me" truly is.
I don't have favorite hobby, I don't any enjoy music, movies, tv shows, I don't like any celebrity, sports, video games, drugs or alcohol.
All I really care about is to be "liked, loved and adored" by everyone else.
I skipped meals, eat healthy and exercise intensively to stay thin, because male generally like women thin & fit, with boobs & butt. I wear makeup, wear nice clothes and learn good posture to be adored by everyone. I study hard and received a good grade, so that I will receive positive approvals from my parents & society. I say everything that is "politically correct" so that I will not be ostracized by people around me.
But deep inside, I find no pleasure nor happiness in any of this. I did all of it just to "get ahead" of everyone and to live a comfortably life.
I hate everyone of them my parents, my friends, my colleagues. my resentment toward society, humanity and the world is so intense & profound that sometimes I wish to run away from everything and live alone by my own free will.
But what is the "free will" really? Are we all just a final product from years & years of societal conditioning, our personality & concept of "self" are just the accumulation of past experiences, molding into what we are today by trauma & pain of the past?
Is "true love" just our animal instinct that forced us to find find a perfect mate to breed & reproduce to pass on our gene and continue the suffering?
What is true happiness?, what is love? What is the meaning of all of this? What is the purpose of being a human?
Right now I'm really lost inside. I want to escape everything, I don't want to play a part in this sick, twisted and cruel world pretending to be normal just to get by any longer.
Graduated, get a degree, finding jobs, get married, have kids, get a mortgage for house, saving for retirement, all of this just to finally die "peacefully" surrounded by loved one in the end. This is the fairly tales that have been told to us all middle class children.
In reality right now, finding jobs that paid well is hard enough, housing is expensive, dating is a landmine, married often end in divorce, our kids too busy with their life and will abandon us in retirement home, and most people will die alone, indebted and penniless.
When I look at the current state of the world today, I realized how "pathetic" we human has become, arguing, fighting and killing each other over meaningless things, when we will all going to die, and none of this will matter.
I'm nearly done with college now, but I still didn't know my career. I'm technically an adult now, but I'm still feel like a child inside, that little girl that too scared of the dangers of outside world, forced to follow instructions like a "robot" to served people higher-ups who never really care about the real me.
I will not become just another victim, fated to die a horrible death in this rotten fallen world. I will make my greatest escape towards freedom and forge the path with my own "free will" once and for all. I need "money", I need "power", I need enough resources to allow me to live alone forever & comfortably without being harassed by the bullshit of this world anymore.
All I know is that I must achieve my "freedom" at any costs. I will not be a mindlessly robot to follow instructions of my parents, religions, society or any politicians and "politically correctness" any longer.
Thank you all for listening to my venting. It's nearly midnight now, please talk to me before I goes to sleep. I feel very lonely and suicidal, but I don't have the courage to speak with anyone in real life.
Sincerely Anna of the end (of this cruel world)

I (30y/o f) have been a marketer for a scientific conference organizer for the past 2 years. Majored in communication at Boston university. I’d like to make more money and work at a larger company, but haven’t had success in getting interviews from my job apps. I’ve asked some colleagues to review my materials, but most of them have worked at the same place for 15+ years and/or don’t have the time to help me in that way. Does anyone have suggestions how I can move into a role like I’m looking for, or maybe I need to pay a talent agency to help me with this? I’ve applied to about 70 jobs the past 2 months, had 1 interview, and didn’t move farther. Feeling desperate :(
I do tailor my resume/cover letter for each job description but maybe I’m not doing enough of that? Can’t figure it out… any suggestions are appreciated!

I'll start by saying I'm a vet assistant and cat & dog behaviorist (though only for a couple of years now), and by this point I'm quite frustrated and at a loss.
Three cats in the house, 2 raised together, third came about a year+ later. The orange cat is high energy, intelligent and a massive bully. Him and his adopted sister mostly get along, but due to energy differences she does get bullied sometimes, not intensely. The problem is the orange cat and the younger cat fight a lot.
They have everything I could possibly have for them, I do my best with play, teaching and attention. Multiple resources, shelves, etc.
Tried to do a reintroduction when I moved, it seemed to improve for a little bit but then went right back to usual.
The main issue is I think I'm the trigger for a lot of it. I feed, play and give attention (thought there's another caretaker too), and when I'm not around they don't fight as much. I get involved when the bullied cat yells out and separate them. They have been living together for about 4 years now. I know I messed up the initial introduction due to lack of knowledge, but I can't manage to fix it no matter what I do.
I've been on sick leave for the past week and they are driving me crazy. They wake me up at night fighting, same in the early morning. It used to be self limited to the evening hours around when they have higher energy and expecting their play session and food, then they would settle down, but now it's as if nothing is ever enough.
He is also often unpleasant with me, biting ankles for attention, yelling, and swatting.
I'm considering trying alternative therapy to calm the orange cat, I've already had a behavior consultant try to help me but she too didn't have much new to offer.
Honestly any help would be appreciated, I'm sleepless and at the end of my tether, feeling like a bad cat parent and useless behaviorist. Afraid it may be best to move with the youngest leaving the other two with their guardian.
Tl;dr - classic bully cat except I'm one likely trigger for cats fighting.

2023-2024 NCM Cycle Deadlines (Dates for this cycle may vary slightly)

• 🎓 July 17: NCM Application Opens for CPS Applicants (Scholar or Not)

👏 ADVICE: Start researching QB schools early! Consider factors like weather, Greek life, diversity, student body number, distance from home, and more. Remember, if you get matched, you must attend that school, so rank schools you genuinely want to attend for four years. However, be sure not to glamorize specific schools! Looking too narrowly will limit your chances to match at a school you might’ve loved if you remained a bit more open-minded. Also, don’t feel guilty if you have 1 school or 12 schools on your match list. Everyone’s NCM process will look different. If a free education is the goal, then try to maximize your chances by applying to many, lesser competitive schools. If you have a dream school you want to match at, then don’t be afraid to stay open to RD.

• August 1: NCM Application Opens for Everyone

👏 ADVICE: The writing process is going to be EXTREMELY tedious. There will be times where you’re sitting at a blank document, waiting for an idea to suddenly hit you. Take it one step at a time! Make the process enjoyable and let your authentic personality come through. Consider using College Essay Guy's resources or pair up with a college mentor through Matriculate. Another important task you should get out of the way early is your letter of recommendations. Look for brag sheets online and give them to your teachers to help them write a strong letter.

• 🕧 September 26: NCM Application Due
• September 27: Match Agreement Form Opens
• 📋 October 12: Match Agreement Form Due

👏 ADVICE: This paper requires your signature, your parent/guardian’s signature, and your counselor’s signature. If your counselor is busy, please reach out to them early so you can get this done! If you don't manage to get it done on time, then don't worry. Questbridge tends to be lenient with deadlines. But this, of course, isn't ideal. Don't add more stress to the process!

• 🔥 October 18: NCM Finalists Announced

👏 ADVICE: Congratulations if you’re a finalist! If you weren’t selected, consider applying to schools through the Common App and through Questbridge Regular Decision. Notice how there’s about two weeks to write all of your supplements. Try to prevent this time crunch by preparing in advance. Check out this document for the supplementals of the past years! You can also look at your college’s website to see if they posted their supplementals in advance (this usually happens in the summer). Make sure to only look at the school’s supplemental essays for Questbridge people. Colleges will usually require NCM applicants to write less because the initial NCM application has a lot of writing already.

• November 1: Ranked Colleges Supplemental Essays, Financials, Test Scores (if you're submitting), etc. Due

👏 ADVICE: Don’t wait until the last minute to do your financials (FAFSA and CSS Profile). There have been countless web maintenance delays for FAFSA this year, so try to do it as soon as possible. The FAFSA should open on October 1, 2024, and you will be using 2023 tax forms to fill out the information. Additionally, you will be filing for the 2025-2026 FAFSA Form because that’ll be when you’re in college. You and your parents will need to create individual accounts too. You will fill out the FAFSA for yourself even if you do or don’t file taxes, and your parents/guardians will file their own taxes (or you can do it for them). It will take a while for FAFSA information to be sent to schools, so don’t delay! The CSS Profile is a more thorough version of FAFSA. There’s also an extension of the CSS Profile called IDOC which is a website where you will upload your tax forms in the form of images. The CSS Profile and IDOC will take time to send your documents as well, so be sure to get it done early. 👏 ADVICE pt. 2: It's going to be hard to take your mind off of December 1, but try to fill up your schedule with the things and people you love! Avoid burning out by practicing healthy habits such as exercising, sleeping 8 hours a day, meditating, journaling, etc.

• 👀 December 1: Match Day

👏 ADVICE: You’ve made it through the process! Whether or not you matched, be proud of your hard work. It’s easy to tie your self-worth to QB and college admissions, but remember that your value isn’t defined by this. If you qualified for QB but didn't match, you’ll likely qualify for amazing aid or a full ride outside of the NCM. Consider using QB Regular Decision and/or the Common App to apply to more colleges you love. You’ll find success regardless of where you go, create great memories, and meet amazing people. Stay positive and keep persevering like you always have!
Post inspired by SpiralKim72's advice for the 23-24 cycle (Check out their profile! They clarify many aspects of the QB process and give great advice from interviews to the RD process).
Additional, but Maybe Slightly Outdated Resources:

• Questbridge College Partners List
• Questbridge NCM Application Components
• Questbridge Partner Admission Rates (overall, not limited to just QB admit rates)

Untying the Knots of the Twelve-Letter Alphabet
https://www.astrologyinstitute.com/articleprofile/articles/2016/untying-the-knots-of-the-twelve-letter-alphabet
12 Letter Alphabet Exposed
https://westernastrology.net/12-letter-alphabet-exposed-part-a/
https://westernastrology.net/12letter-alphabet-exposed-part-b/
Liberating Uranus and Aquarius – From Each Other
http://www.astrologyinstitute.com/articleprofile/articles/2016/liberating-uranus-and-aquarius-from-each-other
Probing Pluto and Scorpio, Clarifying Neptune and Pisces
http://www.astrologyinstitute.com/articleprofile/articles/2015/untangling-astrologys-symbols-part3
10 Astrology Habits to Break.
https://ambientastrology.com/articles/2016/3/25/10-astrology-habits-to-break
https://soulfriendastrology.com/category/learning-astrology/
12 Letter Alphabet Exposed
FIRST HOUSE
While the words; are a manner of speech there might be less confusion if they were replaced with "present": The first house shows how we present as an individual. This presentation includes attitude, physical health, demeanor and appearance, among other things.
The first house is much more than how we strike out as an individual. It can actually show a ‘wait and see attitude’. If a passive sign is on the ascendant or the ascendant ruler in a passive sign there will be less ‘striking out’ and more withdrawal or cautious approach to life.
With other factors such as the house location of its ruler and aspects to the ascendant, the first house shows temperament style and general attitude to life, which may be nothing akin to Mars or Aries.
The odds are only one in twelve that the sign on the ascendant will be Aries and the wide scope of other possible expressions cannot all be described as Arian or Martian.
Neither should we restrict the red planet to its daytime domicile of Aries. It is also the nocturnal ruler of Scorpio although this is rarely considered or understood.
Associating Mars with the first house also ignores the other two planets which have a connection to this house.
The first is Mercury, which has its joy in the first house. The joys of the planets is a worthwhile study of its own.
Mercury has a natural association with the brain and head and this correlates well with the association of the first house with the head.
Mercury is also associated with speech and communication.
Mars has no natural association with the head or brain, unless you are thinking of using your head as a battering ram!
In the system of planetary joys Mars is placed in the sixth house of injuries and sickness, a place where it is at home.
The first house straddles the boundary between day and night which is an apt fit for adaptable Mercury as the go-between.
Saturn also has a first house association because this is where the soul is entrapped within the body as it incarnates. Saturn is the natural ruler of doorways and the first house is the soul’s doorway into physical life. The eighth house of death is the exit doorway, also associated with Saturn.
SECOND HOUSE:
Yes Taurus is about stability and physical comforts and pleasure, but has little to do with money itself. Venus, the planet which rules Taurus, is about the comforts that money can buy, the adornments and beautiful things. But money itself is represented by Mercury, the natural ruler of exchange and financial dealings. Mercury does the buying and Venus does the enjoying. Venus does not represent money; that is Mercury’s domain.
Jupiter the planet of wealth and prosperity, has a natural association with the second house. In the Chaldean order of the planets Jupiter follows Saturn. Saturn is associated with the first house, Jupiter with the second house.
THIRD HOUSE:
It is understandable that, at first glance, the third house would seem to have an association with Gemini and Mercury.
However in previous generations it was clearly understood that the third house was the house of the "goddess", and the Moon had a special relationship with this house.
In horary astrology the Moon is frequently seen as conveying messages between other planets in its role as ‘the translator of light’. Among the seven classical planets it is the fastest moving body, linking planets as it aspects one and then to another. This sequential linking is very significant in questions about communication, linking people together, or the movement of goods. In this latter respect it also has an association with transport.
FOURTH HOUSE:
Historically the 4th house is associated with foundations and property, the land, deep roots, mines and wealth from under the ground.
Compare these fixed traits to that most fluid and movable of planets: the Moon. This is not a good fit. The changeable Moon is much better suited to the busy comings and goings of the 3rd house.
In the ancient model of the “4 Ages of Man” the IC is associated with the winter of our lives. Yet in the northern hemisphere where Western astrology arose the Sun passes through Cancer at the height of summer. Neither is the 4th house a good fit for Cancer.
Historically the 4th house is associated with the father, not the mother.
FIFTH HOUSE:
The Sun is the supreme ‘Commander-in-Chief’, the symbol of might and mastery, power, truth, light and enlightenment. The superior planets genuflect and step backwards in retrograde motion when they come face to face in opposition with the Sun, and all the planets disappear in his blinding light when in conjunction with the Sun.
The fifth house is the house of fun and frivolity, parties pleasure and entertainment. In a sense this is the most superficial of houses and is in no way deserving as the home of the Lord of the Heavens.
The Sun represents so much more than parties, children, pleasure and sporting games. The importance of these activities pales into insignificance when faced with the majesty of his presence. In many religions and spiritual systems the image of god or the force which guides the universe has a solar representation.
To suggest that the Sun is restricted to the rulership of the house of fun and creativity is to diminish his great power and demonstrates a profound misunderstanding of his role in the heavens and in astrological interpretation.
In the diagram above describing the joys of the planets we see that the Sun rejoices in the ninth house, the house of higher learning, spirituality, and the search for the ultimate meaning of life. The joys of the planets describe places where planets are most comfortable and ‘feel at home’. The Sun is much more comfortable than in the ninth house of spirituality than in the fifth house of frivolity.
Neither is Leo a good fit for the fifth house as it is regarded as a barren sign because of its dryness. The 5th has long been known as the house of sex procreation and children. In horary astrology in questions of fertility and in electional astrology when choosing a suitable time for conception Leo on the ascendant or on the fifth house cusp is generally avoided because of its association with infertility and sterility.
To link the sign associated with barrenness with the house associated with fertility and creativity shows a misunderstanding of basic astrological principles.
SIXTH HOUSE:
Confusions relating to the meaning of the sixth house are worthy of an article on its own.
The association with work in the sense of career or profession can be attributed to a misreading of Lilly where he refers to the 6th house as the house of service. He was actually referring to servitude and servants.
The modern equivalent are the working poor doing menial jobs, in the service of another. There has never been, at least until recent times, a sense that the 6th house is associated with anything resembling a career. Historically this is, among other meanings, the house of slaves. While perhaps there are few real slaves in the Western world, the unskilled worker going from job to job is a close equivalent. These workers are typically more lacking in skills, rather than being skilled.
Going back to the objection mentioned above that Virgo is focused I am not sure how focus is a noteworthy trait of the sixth house, or even that Virgo is especially focused. Virgo is after all a double-bodied sign. Scorpio Aries and Capricorn also have some claim to being focused.
It is more common for people to confuse the sixth house with Virgo because of Virgo’s association with health. However the sixth house is not the house of health; that honour belongs to the first house. The sixth house is the house of ill-health and also injuries, the opposite of health. The preoccupation with exercise and diet typically associated with Virgo is better explained by the combination of the dry earth qualities of Virgo when combined with its discerning ruler: Mercury.
It is the first house which is the house of life and health and vitality. Mercury rejoices in this house and is much more comfortable here than in the sixth house of sickness and injuries.
It is Mars which rejoices in the sixth house. It is of course the minor malefic and is well suited to the house where the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune beset us all from time to time. Incidentally in mundane astrology the sixth house is associated with the military which has an obvious connection with Mars.
SEVENTH HOUSE:
Yes the seventh house is about relationships of all types. As well as amorous relationships and contractual business type relationships, also included are adversarial relationships with open enemies and those involving a sporting or other type of contest.
Relationships involving open conflict can hardly be confused with the graciousness associated with Libra or the pleasantness associated with Venus. These relationships could better be described as Martian. As the enemy rides over hill towards you, rifle at the ready with bayonet attached, Venus is nowhere to be seen. These situations are better described by Mars. So should we associate Aries and Mars with the seventh house, as well as Libra and Venus? The logic is similar. It should not be ignored that the seventh house is as much about engagement with the enemy as it is with the lover or friend.
The seventh house is about ‘the other’ we engage with, for whatever reason, whether it be the terrorist or the lover, the violent bully or the loving spouse. The relationships associated with the seventh house can be associated with love or hate. The seventh house is primarily about the people we engage with, and the type of engagement cannot be restricted to just Venus or Libra. The planet which usually best describes the type of engagement is the one ruling the sign on the seventh house cusp or a planet conjoining the descendant.
EIGHTH HOUSE:
The confusion concerning the eighth house is connected both with the adoption of Pluto as Scorpio's modern ruler and the adoption of the '12 letter Alphabet'; system by some astrologers. In the 12 letter Alphabet, invented by Zip Dobyns, the meaning of the houses planets and signs are merged. For example the eighth house, Scorpio, and Pluto are seen to have a similar theme, referred to as an archetype. Pluto's association with transformation and regeneration and Scorpio's association with sex are both transferred to the eighth house.
However the eighth house is the house of death. While it's true that some astrologers have associated the eighth house with sex because sexual orgasm is sometimes called ‘the little death, the purpose of sex is to procreate, to bring life into the world, not death.
Previous to the modern era the eighth house was not associated with sex. This modern confusion is perpetrated by a misunderstanding of the primary functions of the houses. Sex is a fifth house matter. Death and bringing life into the world are opposite things. One should not be confused with the other.
I have often heard it said that death is only one form of transformation and somehow this justifies assigning transformation as a core meaning for the eighth house, which in turn validates Scorpio’s and Pluto’s association with the eighth house.
It is ironic that Pluto's mythical association with rape is rarely mentioned in conversations about eighth house sexual activity.
The tangled web of confusions associated with the interchange of Scorpio Pluto and the eighth house is mind boggling and really does take us a long way from the real meaning of the eighth house. Followers of the 12 Letter Alphabet system associate intimacy with the eighth house because of its new association connection with Pluto.
The core meanings of the eighth house have to do with death in the physical and real sense; fear and loss; the resources of those we engage with, and inheritance.
The eighth house is not a particular pleasant place no matter how much we might like to romanticize it or give it a positive spin. The sign on the cusp of the eighth house and the planet which rules that sign are what is relevant in any type of astrological interpretation of the 8th house.
NINTH HOUSE:
We tend to liken Jupiter to philosophy and religion and the attribution of Jupiter to the 9th House fits fairly well. (Jupiter is also the planet associated with the Ninth in the wheel of houses that begins with Saturn as the First.) The Ninth was the place of the “Sun God” in ancient astrology and was strongly associated with public religious practice; yet, like the Third, it was also associated with dreams, prophecy, and divination. The Ninth House being associated with higher education or long journeys is a later addition.
The planet in joy in the Ninth House is the Sun and, for a place that is cadent, the Ninth gets a lot of sunlight and the Sun can be happy here. It also fits well with the deification of the Sun’s power in many cosmologies and religions throughout history. It may also conform to the image of Sun as a planet of higher intellect, as the light of reason.
TENTH HOUSE:
Astrologers after my lifetime or yours will look at this affiliation with bewilderment. Archetypally mixing the House of career, reputation, and fame to Saturn and Capricorn is itself enough to throw out the entire Twelve Letter Alphabet system.
You might retort, “But it’s the place of one’s boss!” I answer that there are many kinds of bosses and they’re not all oppressive. The dimensions of leadership and mentorship – solar and not saturnine factors – are prominent Tenth House factors.
The 10th is the traditional place of one’s “action” – career, calling, fame and reputation. I include a larger sense of “vocation”, so that if you work retail by day but are a political activist or animal rights advocate otherwise, the latter would be included within your Tenth House. If a “lifestyle” includes neighborhood vigilantism, being a “survivalist”, or attending a lot of funerals, that person’s Tenth House would qualify as Saturnine.
Capricorn, as the cardinal earth sign, governed by a heavy nocturnal (feminine sign) Saturn, and the place and time of least light in the Northern Hemisphere, is completely out of place in the public and daylight-filled Tenth. Because the Tenth is place of authority, it is far closer in meaning to the Sun than the gray planet Saturn.
ELEVENTH HOUSE:
In ancient times the 11th, the “Place of the Good Spirit (or daimon)”, was a place of fortune and abundance. According to traditional sources Jupiter is in joy in the Eleventh, befitting a place that is considered so fortunate. (The Eleventh is the House opposite the 5th, the Place of Good Fortune and the joy of Venus, the other benefic.) The Eleventh House became the place of “hopes and wishes” and later the place of friendship and social groups; “hopes and wishes” is more in line with the original meaning of the Eleventh House.
Is this like the fixed air sign Aquarius? The “Water-Bearer” has a linear mental quality and a tendency to become conceptual that is not particularly like the Eleventh House in its original meanings. Aquarius is a sign of social responsibility and objective mind, and Aquarius relates well to a diurnal (masculine sign) Saturn that is a lighter Saturn than the one who governs Capricorn. However, if you confine the Eleventh House to friendships and social groups, the affiliation with the diurnal Saturn isn’t such a problem.
Things become much more confusing when astrologers mix up Aquarius with the outer planet Uranus, the planet of eccentricity, suddenness, and genius, and then try to bring in the Eleventh House. Uranus is quite different from the fixed mental “human” sign Aquarius. Uranus is rebellious, radically individualistic, and is deliberately outside convention. Aquarius, the sign opposite Leo, is humanitarian and oriented more toward groups and cultures than individuals. To bring this confusion to the Eleventh House only makes this problem worse; it obscures the original benevolent and protective quality of this house which is well demonstrated by Jupiter’s traditional association.
TWELTH HOUSE:
There are many difficulties here, and many are based on the distorted ways that the sign Pisces has been defined. But first let’s look at the Twelfth House by itself.
Like the Sixth and Eighth, the Twelfth is also disconnected to the Ascendant and is also a place about life’s difficulties. The Twelfth is a cadent house that in ancient astrology was the Place of the “Bad Spirit.” In the outer world the Twelfth is where we locate prisons, confinement in institutions, and dark hidden places. More internally, this is the place of being haunted – by previous karma, psychological “unfinished business,” and other manners of “self-doing” that come about because of what we cannot see. Psychological astrologers have looked to the Twelfth House for unacknowledged factors that may wreak havoc on one’s person and within one’s relationships. This is in keeping with the qualities of this house.
This all seems very different from the mutable watery sign Pisces that is flowing, changeable, and can develop different disguises for its personal and social roles. Pisces, as a quality of mind, has a strongly intuitive nonlinear bent. Unlike the planet Neptune, however, natives with prominent Pisces placements manage to maintain their identity even if that identity is not well-defined. Both the sign Pisces and its purported ruler Neptune are a far cry from the vice grip many of have experienced when in conditions of external or internal confinement.
Jupiter, the great benefic and the traditional ruler of Pisces, is even farther away from the significations of the Twelfth House. Jupiter – especially in the feminine sign Pisces – brings intuition of possibilities that is often called “faith” or “hope”. The Twelfth, however, is where cold reality comes at us from behind often with harmful intent; it is far closer to Saturn than Jupiter. And Saturn is, of course, the “joy” of the Twelfth House.

Excuse my bad english, i used AI to translate some parts, im not a native speaker. So, here goes the story of how Jehovah's Witnesses almost drove me to suicide, how my grandmother disowned me, and why I am now 1,327 kilometers away from my family, haha.
I was born into a three-generation JW family in Cancún, Mexico. I never had birthdays, Halloween, or any of the world's holidays. From ages 0 to 3, my nuclear family was distant from the JWs. I learned to read and began reading Watchtower literature. I never liked the idea that Jehovah was going to commit genocide on 99% of the world's population and that we would be happy in paradise with exile, resurrection, and more. At age 4, they resumed their service to the organization and tried to raise me solely with Watchtower literature. Everything else was practically forbidden, although I loved watching documentaries and reading about nature. I became a fan of some school books. I was never allowed to have a single friend, and at school, I was forced to have perfect grades, or else my parents would beat me, and this continued until I was 8 years old.
When I was 8, my father quit his job because a coworker started sexually harassing him. From that moment on, life in my family went downhill. I discovered I was gay, and every "teaching" started to irritate me more and more. My father tried to dedicate himself more to the organization's service, so it took him almost a year to find a job that allowed him to do so. At the beginning of this period, I was sent to my grandmother's house for her to take care of me for 3 months. The hell of the Catholics sounded more appealing than being there. I stopped going to school, and every day began with waking up at 5:45 am, considering the day's text for an hour, then breakfast, preaching from 7:30 am to 3:00 pm under 30-degree heat, a break for a meager meal, and then continuing with studies from 4:00 pm to 8:00 pm. Upon returning home, we would study the ministry school or the Watchtower until 10:00 pm, every day. Sundays, we had our meeting at 9:00 am, and we still went out to preach in the morning from 6:30 to 8:30.
I remember during that time I lost weight, going from being overweight to the lower limit of a healthy weight, even developing anemia. I suffered from heat strokes, dehydration, and other issues. The worst part was the Saturday Watchtower study. My grandmother wouldn't schedule studies that day so we could study the Watchtower. We started at 3 in the afternoon and continued until nearly 10 at night or even later, reading every biblical passage, every reference in the central column. We didn't have dinner until we finished studying. If I yawned, she would pinch me, and one day she tried to slap me. Adding to this was her favoritism towards other more "spiritual" cousins and her constant reminders that I would die for not having blind faith in God. Those were 3 months of my life. After that, I returned home and resumed my studies.
That year, we ended up living off poor government aid, and I made my first friend in primary school. Her mother was the sweetest woman I had ever known. She gave me desserts, fed me when we had no money, something the brothers NEVER did for my family. Here begins the next chapter of my family.
My father got a job in Cancun's public transportation but quit because he had to break many laws in a highly competitive and illegal environment. Desperate, my father accepted the lowest job offer from one of his JW brothers, working from 8 am to 6:30 pm, with no overtime pay, for $25 a week to support a family of five. Meanwhile, the indoctrination continued, torturing me with the idea that I would be destroyed at Armageddon for being secretly homosexual and completely isolated from my schoolmates due to my beliefs and poverty, thanks to this religion and abusive brothers.
My father started taking me to work on weekends, some weekdays, and holidays. They didn't pay anything extra for me; I worked entirely for free. At school, I resented the lack of money. Sometimes I would pick up government notebooks that kids threw away. My uniform was falling apart.
I started secondary school, and this situation continued. I was switched from the afternoon shift to the morning shift because of bullying at school. During that time, I met my first real friend, a guy who always supported me. He was a fan of creepy pastas and the paranormal, someone who was absent once or twice a week but with whom I enjoyed spending time. We would lie on the classroom floor listening to scary stories. I developed romantic feelings for him but never had the chance to confess. One day, after school, he walked me to a street before my house, where my father was waiting for me. A brother had leaked what was happening. I had managed to get a cell phone, which my parents checked daily to see what I was doing. At 15, they forbade me from having any contact with him, so I ended the friendship and suppressed my feelings until we finished the last year of secondary school. He didn't attend the graduation day. That day, I was completely alone. My parents went with me, but no one approached me. In Mexico, there's a tradition of signing your friends' shirts. Mine had the signature of one teacher, and nothing more. None of my classmates recognized me as a friend that day.
Two months passed. I entered high school, and one day, while walking back from preaching with my mother, I met one of my former schoolmates. We had ended up fighting, but we respected each other. When he saw me, tears welled up in his eyes. I had never seen him like that. He approached me and told me that my first friend had died of cancer. I was in shock. I told him not to joke, and he asked if I ever wondered why he was absent so often and the school never said anything, why he grew his hair long until he started missing more and more. I remember that day I felt pain like never before. I felt like I was collapsing inside. I wanted to vomit and cry. I regretted for years having left him to die alone. I felt like a traitor. My parents didn't care, but I fell into a depression that took years to overcome. To distract my mind, I started preaching more and filling my mind with dogmas. But I knew, I knew I could never achieve eternal life as a homosexual, I knew I could never make my parents happy, I knew I shouldn't get baptized, or when I got disfellowshipped, my family would consider me dead.
I started a spiral of self-hatred that one day led to harmful thoughts. I began to think about using chemical castration to eliminate my impulses, about amputating my genitals to avoid sinning. I started to think that if I died, I would be resurrected.
During high school, everyone in the congregation who talked to me only pressured me to get baptized. But I knew that if I did, it would lead to an even worse situation. And the spiral began. With each assembly, these feelings grew stronger. They kept reminding me that I had to do it, that I had to go out into the world as a JW. And everyday, some homophobic things that make me more and more fragile.
At 18, my both parents ended up working to pay off debts. I started staying home, waking up at 2 pm, and sleeping up to 20 hours a day. They labeled me spiritually lazy. I was dying more each day, and no one cared. No one in the congregation was truly my friend.
Then one day, my sister sent me to a government program to get a job. A psychologist noticed my problems and interviewed me. I started a small treatment, where I slowly made friends and became more expressive. I didn't know how to speak properly with others even though I could give talks and preach. I was socially stagnant. All the young people in the congregation ostracized me for not being a blind believer, and on top of that, I was sarcastic, so I was the one left out. I was invited to a gathering only once, with the condition that I couldn't talk to anyone about anything. Time passed, and from that government program, I started working at an institution. I met my first angels, my female coworkers, five wonderful women who practically taught me how to speak again, who explained how to celebrate a birthday, how to socialize, how to talk properly with others.
During this time, with some expertise in hiding information from my family, I bought a phone I only used at work. Curiosity got the better of me, and I started visiting Telegram groups, where I met my former partner, someone who helped me finally leave the Jehovah's Witnesses. When the pandemic started, I was sent home. My family tried to use that phone, but it had a password. When they asked for it, I refused. For the first time in my life, I refused such an order. I started to distance myself little by little. I grew my hair long, started going out more, talking more with my ex, and so on. Gradually, I distanced myself. I didn't attend Zoom meetings, and I stopped preaching by letter. Then the presidential elections came, and I was forced to vote to keep my job, which was the only source of income for my family during the pandemic. I did it, went out to vote, which cost me my position as a publisher. I was more than happy. Some brothers called me, hat was the firstime in 4 years that they made a phone call. The quarantine ended, and I finally returned to my office with my coworkers.
Then my grandmother reappeared, trying to condition me to become a preacher again, and she tried to manipulate me. I flatly refused and left. Then something worse happened: she came to live with us, and every day it was the same argument, until one day, during a trip to the beach (Cancun, baby), she tried to corner me with an elder and a pioneer. I simply told them to move away. They refused and said I had to come back and cut my hair. I told my grandmother no, and that I didn't want to talk about it with anyone anymore, that it was my life and she should use the little time she had left. Later, I found out that she had removed me from her will over some land in the outskirts of Cancun. I don't regret.
Then my father noticed something and told me that if he discovered anything, he would kick me out of the house. He asked me if I was gay, to which I replied "maybe." He said that if I declared it, I would have to leave the house. At that time, I had already broken up with my ex, who had moved to the center of the country. I talked to him and his current partner, and they said it would be no problem, that they could take me in if something happened. I told my sister about my suicidal thoughts after she asked what had happened with my father. Then, my parents got me a psychologist, who started helping me progress and overcome some of the issues I had with my self-esteem. However, what I didn't know was that he was leaking EVERYTHING to my parents, and thus they confirmed my sexuality and found out about my relationship.
I endured that year and told my parents that I would leave home on my 23rd birthday. I took the UNAM exam, which I didn't pass 😅😅. I told them, and they dropped a bombshell: "we were hoping you would fail your exam so you wouldn't leave." That gave me the impetus to do it, to finalize my escape. With anger and nostalgia, a few days later, I took a flight to another city where my friends took me in. I think I can consider them more than friends, they are my family, i have one on cancun, that needs to leave that religion. Right now, I'm looking into starting treatment again, specifically for victims of coercive sects. I live much more freely, maybe not in a super city, but happily, without my family's eyes always watching me. I have never felt so free in my life.
To the Jehovah's Witnesses reading this, remember, we born and raised in cages, but it is not a disease to fly; it is the freedom of this world that awaits us. It will be more dangerous, but it will also be much more interesting. You will be able to suffer and enjoy, love and pain, the full life, not a life of only pain to die in loneliness, to die with a false hope. You can move forward, you can make it; there are many like us out here. It will hurt, but once you learn to fly, you won't even want to look back. My life only began at 24, I am just about to start studying at university. I didn't study because of that religion, but I know I will soon. These chains are not that strong; they are just too big to carry. Throw them off and come fly with us.
This is my history, my life, the start of my new life.
Thanks everybody, you rocks!

I know I'm going to get sh*t for this. However, I'm tired of people pretending false SA/SH accusations aren't used against members out of vengeance or retaliation. I really tried keeping silent on what has happened to me and colleagues of mine but women cannot be allowed to continue this behavior. Amidst the cover ups and all that I really find it hard to not say anything. I'm done being an ally when by the same token these same 'victims' refuse to accept accountability and use these accusations as a scapegoat in order to avoid a mast. Damn near left the service without my honorable discharge because someone wanted to play 'victim'. A good friend of mine has been under investigation for almost a year because his acuser would rather claim SA than accept a mast for drunken self exposure. My heart goes out to all the people actually dealing with SH/SA but I'm too God Damn bitter to let this crap keep going on.

Hello! I have a couple questions about Social Security. I've been on SSDI since 2010 and have worked part time at the same job for 11 years. Due to the ongoing disability, I haven't been able to work much and I've stayed under income guidelines for every month but 1. I was recently sent a letter from Social Security saying that they have decided that my disability has ended and thus my SSDI benefits will be terminated. Several of my colleagues are experiencing a termination of their benefits as well. Has there been any major changes or policy decisions that may have triggered a statistically large percentage of people getting benefits denied?
An additional question: are there any lawyers in the area that you might recommend for an appeals case?
Thank you very much!

I have a BA degree in International Relations and soon, hopefully a MA degree in Diplomacy (I said hopefully as I graduated last year yet I still didn’t defend my thesis - I’ll do this next month and if not, in the autumn session)
I have a full-time job (more or less in my domain) that I don’t like and 1y and a half ago I started applying to jobs that I’d love to do, and yet no success. I would really love to work for any EU Institution/EU Agency/Embassy/Consulate in the administrative/communication/cultural area(s). I can do a little bit of everything and learn really fast.
I get rejections quite often (WHEN I get answers). I am aware about the competition, also of the fact that some jobs might be already promised, but nothing??? Made it to the interview stage in the past 2 years only for 4 positions - and 3 of them were for internships. I must mention that I have 3y 5m of professional experience. Too overqualified for internships and not enough experience for a proper job. My contract will expire at the end of the year and after that I’ll be unemployed.
As I’ve always been heavily involved in volunteering, contests, International projects and conferences, Erasmus, internships relevant for my studies, the people around me created this idea of - you’re going to succeed big time. Something I also had in mind and was so sure about. Yet I didn’t. I feel a lot of pressure mainly from my side and also from the people around me. I constantly get asked where I’m heading to and what’s next for my career. I have no answer. I got those people and myself used to the idea that I’m always doing something important. Now it’s been a lot of time of silence.
Applying to jobs became really exhausting but I still try to do my best. I really believe that my CV and motivational letter(s) aren’t the problem (but I’m obvs open to feedback). I’m trying not to be pessimistic but it is so hard when seeing no results. What hurts the most is that I really wish to work and would give 100% and more for a new job (in the mentioned places).
Also, until I do not get some stability (a decent salary and a fixed working schedule - at my current job I have none) work wise, I have no desire of “living life”. I think it sounds really sad for some people but this is how I am. I would LOVE to invest time and money in new hobbies, learn a new language, start having more fun but only after I get a job in the desired places. As atm I have so much free time (my job is very flexible) and no self-control (spending way too much time on social media, sleeping, traveling, being lazy), having a routine changes me completely. And I’ve been seeking one for over a year.
I kept lying to myself that what’s meant for me will find me, that I’ll find the light at the end of the tunnel but yet I’m still looking for it. There is still some hope left but not much. Any tips for finding my path?
Cheers