Hello again! I’m not sure if you've read or seen my other posts about roleplays but this one will purely be about Jujutsu Kaisen!
INTRODUCTION
My name is Hina. To know more about me, I was born and raised in Japan and I have been an avid writer ever since I moved to the States when I was 11. My second language is English but I believe it’s been pretty good these days. I recently turned 22 years old and I'm female. Talking about age, I would be comfortable with you being 17+ and preferably at least 20. Roleplaying with minors isn’t a big thing for me, I apologize. I’m in the west coast, PST timezone. Let’s see.. What other information can I give you? I would say I enjoy skating, basketball, watching tv shows and anime, and reading. My favorite anime is Nana and Death Note.
ROLEPLAY
For what i’m looking for, i’d have to say basically anything in the Jujutsu Kaisen universe. Perhaps something done in the Shibuya Arc, or even the Culling Games Arc where are our characters are participating. Or maybe something entirely different. I think it would be cool if our characters were strong on their own and everything was set up in the Culling Games Arc, them having to maybe ally or something. But we can also have it be basically them fighting together to make themselves stronger and then fight new enemies as well. I’m down for ideas!
I’m also down for a Modern AU roleplay with the original characters. Maybe an OC x CC or CC x CC in that case!
CHARACTERS
I tend to use character sheets to describe my character, these usually consist of names, background, and personality. More so on appearances, I prefer using animated or drawn references than real life people. I enjoy good enough references where I get the idea of how the character would look like.
The types of characters I write are either the lone wolf type that has some sad past which leads them to want to join someone for a redemption arc or the bubbly character who is the one that brings the mood up and is usually seen as trustworthy and of that kind.
I like all types of tropes, especially enemies to lovers or rivalry. I also really enjoy opposites attract as a whole from either opposite personality or something else they would be opposites in. Enemies to lovers takes my heart, though. I love seeing the characters go past the urge to ultimately hate each other and/or go past their usual way of disliking the others lineage or upcoming.
REQUIREMENT
I think this is my last paragraph on the roleplay. It’s the most important, at least. Requirements. All roleplay searches come with them. Or at least that’s what I heard! But don’t fret, there isn’t much.
I’ve seen this as one of the most used requirements, and I agree with it. As someone who’s first language wasn’t English, I understand that you may not be great at it. But please, I do require a partner that at least has proper use of grammar and punctuation. You don’t even have to use big words or anything, just at least know where to put your periods and the placement of your words.
My second requirement is for you to be LITERATE! Please. I’m a big writer, I tend to ramble on and tend to write more than what I thought I would. (like i’m doing right now) I write multiple paragraphs from the starter until the scene relaxes. I also understand that sometimes writing big blocks of words every response is tiring or boring so I don’t expect it all the time, at least after the starter has been made and in more important scenes. Dialogue also cuts my replies shorter.
Please please please be polite in OOC! We may just be role playing together but kindness goes all ways. If we do include OOC, I enjoy talking about many things. My day, movies, games, funny moments and stories, all of that!
I think that’s the end to this wonderful journey of an ad about my search. I hope you are still here, fellow writer! I would LOVE it if you reached out to me! This wasn’t all for nothing, right!
But don’t leave yet! I do have a passcode. I know this was a jumble of words and rambling but I still have to put one in. I heard that there’s a lot of people on here that don’t read things fully and miss out on rules or information! But.. Just because you read through this all, I’ll gladly give you options on the passcode! Also please put in an introduction of yourself! Don’t think “Oh maybe I shouldn’t bother this person with too much to read”! I like seeing big blocks.
PASSCODE:
What’s your dream country to travel to and why?
OR
Who’s your favorite TV show / Cartoon / Game / Anime character?
Feel free to pick both! Now, that’s all from me. Please don’t put your request as just “Wanna rp”!

• H 💕

Hi! 👋🏻
Let me start off by saying while I’m not ruling out meeting down the line I am looking for online only at this time. I’m doing a lot of self work currently and want that to be my main focus right now.
That being said, let me tell you about myself!

• I am 35 years old.
• Single. Never married. I don’t have any children, and at present do not want any (however I am not ruling that out. I know the right person can change everything)
• I enjoy giving back to my community through various initiatives.
• My job is awesome and I geek out over it.
• I love to read, paint (watercolors and gauche mostly) - although my carpal tunnel has really slowed that down for me.
• I love to write and have been producing sad poetry for as long as I could take a pen to paper. I’ve been published twice.
• I sing random songs at any given time, it’s always a Saturday night drunk at the jukebox in my head.

5’1” long brown hair that’s honestly littered with grays now. Naturally curly but I usually wear it straight. I’m not a small girl (part of my self work currently) blue eyes, tattoos.
As I mentioned I am focusing on bettering myself. Admittedly it can get a bit lonely. I’m looking for someone I can banter with while we move through our days. Phone calls, texts, a slow burn if you will. I wanna build a solid foundation with someone and continue from there. I want to share laughs with you, hear about your day. Tell me how your colleagues drove you crazy or how the dog got into the trash while you were in the shower.
About you:
I’ll lead with this. I do have a type, and while I won’t rule anyone out I’d prefer you be Hispanic, between ages 31-45. Honest, funny & most of all genuine.
Sorry this was so long. If you wanna chat, shoot me a message!

Hello Everyone, I am having a strange issue, and I am wondering if anyone has experienced anything like this. I will reach out to CS by chat, but wanted to ask the community about this first. In November 2023, I ported my number from Visible to Tello, a T-Mobile based MVNO. Everything seemed to be in order, and I was successfully using my new service. A few days later, I was surprised to see a charge from Visible for my next month of service. I logged in a few days later to my Visible account to disable autopay to prevent this from happening again. I now want to come back to Visible. To my surprise, I am still able to login to my old account, and it's as if it expects a payment for a line that I assume should be canceled. I figured I would just make a new account with another email address, but then looked at the Check if you're eligible to transfer your number page to see if I could port my number. I was dismayed to see this message "This number already has service with us." This can't be right as I ported it out. Essentially, it looks like I can't come back. Has anyone experienced a similar issue after porting their number out of Visible and later trying to return? If so, how did you resolve it? With the introduction of the new Global Pass, I really do want to come back. TLDR: Ported my number out of Visible, but now want to come back. Number checker says my number is already on the network, which is incorrect. This is making it hard to return.

I'm on the lookout for an investor who's ready to jump into the Jungle. Here's the scoop:
We've been in the game for a little over a year now, and let me tell you, it's been a wild ride. We've racked up over $45k in lifetime sales and fulfilled more than 1200 orders. And guess what? We've done all of this without spending a single penny on marketing. Our customers keep coming back, and they bring their friends along too.
Now, let me level with you. Junglebox wasn't always smooth sailing. We had a bit of a rocky start due to a fallout with my first business partner. But you know what they say—when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. We dusted ourselves off, rallied our loyal customers, and built JungleBox from the ground up.
And here's the kicker: we're not just a local operation. Our customer base spans over 40 states and multiple countries. We're making waves in the car care industry, and we're just getting started.
But here's where we need your help. As we've expanded our product line to meet demand, our funds have started to thin out. We're currently sold out of multiple items, and without a bit of support, we won't be able to keep up with the demand.
So, if you're an investor who's ready to roll up your sleeves and help us take JungleBox to the next level, let's chat. Together, we can unlock JungleBox's full potential and make some serious waves in the car care market.
Thanks for considering,
Matt Goldie - Founder

This is a long story and if you do read through it and can offer advice it would be greatly appreciated.
I can't find too much if anything similar to my experience. I'm wondering if anyone heard about this and any advice?
About 6 months ago I got a call on my phone from RBC on the call display. It was spoofed but I didn't know it. The person on the phone asked me if I used my debit card to purchase an iphone in Ontario. I said no, and he said it's not a problem these things happen all the time, they will cancel the purchase and send me a new card.
This is not too out of the ordinary for me as I had my credit card have unauthorized purchases several times in the past. The weird thing was this time it was a debit card.
Then he said he can not ask my debit card number but a recording will follow and I should key in my debit card number. This was my major mistake. I know never to give a credit card number, PIN or password but for some reason I never thought of my debit card number to be a major issue. Like what if I lost it?
Anyway after I did that he came back and I asked him to mail the new one to my bank. He said no he would mail it to my home and told me my very old address. I told him no, it's unacceptable mail it to my bank branch like always. He then hung up on me. I didn't give any other info.
Minutes later I got an email from RBC saying my password has been changed! Then another saying my email has been changed. I quickly tried to login and couldn't so I called RBC Security.
As I was talking my email inbox got 1000's of email newsletter sign up confirmations per hour. About 12 000 in total by the next morning. It's a business email so it ruined everything and I couldn't find legit emails but that's besides the point.
The goal of doing that is because it was their hopes I would not see the emails from RBC.....but lucky they came first. it's called a Spam Bomb.
RBC Security said they would help me change my password back and I was able to reset it. Only minutes later while still on the phone....I had logged out and then tried to log back in....And he said this is strange. he put me on hold. He said there was someone on another call with the call centre claiming to be me and getting the password changed! He somehow was passing all the authentication and fooling the agent into changing the password.
So he put a block on the account meaning nobody can call in. Not even me. No passwords or access codes, nothing. The only way I could deal with RBC is going into the branch.
No money went missing. I guess I caught it just in time. Nothing was changed in my accounts. But I still cancelled all my credit cards and got new ones. And I got new account numbers for my bank accounts.
As I had to do this at the branch it took several visits and anytime I needed to ask a question Id have to go in person. I changed my phone number and even to do this in the back end systems beyond online banking I had to make an appointment. Fun fact RBC has to wait on hold forever also, no special access lines.
After changing my accounts I changed my phone number because they kept calling back. Changing your phone number nowadays is a major undertaking as I have 100's of websites many with 2 factor auth that I had to change. I also changed all my passwords unique without any matching.
After all this....I travelled to Japan. In fact I travel 6 months of the year to many countries. I decided to log into my online banking using a VPN. Big mistake. The system thought I was fraud and it locked me out. And I can't call! Luckily I have an account manager who knows me well and we could verify that way but most people don't have this.
Another time my debit cards weren't working anywhere in The Philippines and I couldn't call in. It was Christmas and my account manager wasn't available for 4 days. I had no cash. What a disaster.
So when I got home....I had to take this call block off. It's just not working. It had already been 2.5 months and my computer was factory reset, I purchased a new phone. I had really done everything I could.
I travelled to several countries and no problems, everything is working normal and perfect.
I take security very seriously to the point of paranoia. And I also know all the scams. I don't get fooled easily and used to have a hobby to mess with the scammers heads. But even this I don't do anymore because they probably put me on some sort of list or something.
Since then Ive been very private.
Then yesterday....I get an email saying my email has been changed. Lucky no spam bomb. I tried to log into RBC and it didn't say wrong password, it said account it locked.
I called RBC Security and they said I need to go into the branch with ID and they wouldn't talk to me.
I did so. They said someone called in and passed the verification. And convinced RBC to reset my password for them. This is infuriating because there are notes saying that I am a victim of account take over and to proceed with caution.
Again no money is missing but I need to change all my accounts and cards again. And I'm leaving to Africa in a few weeks.
I now have that call block on the system and can't release it otherwise the scammers will just call back and convince RBC to change my password again. What can I do about this?
I had the idea to change my debit card number. They will change the account numbers and credit card numbers but not the debit card number. Changing this number I think will solve all my problems. But no matter how far I escalated this. They won't do it. Not a chance. To me it seems the most logical way to start fresh as they are using that info to the agent.
So I opened a new account with another bank. I'll use this as a travel account and fund it with what I need. But with RBC I have many investment accounts, business accounts, several high end credit cards. You name it. And TD banks credit card for travel doesn't seem to match the power of RBC Avion which I accumulate tons of points with my business. Which is why I can travel so much! So in other words it's not easy to switch.
But anyway Does anyone know how they are passing the authentication so easy? Nobody knows my 3 secret phrases. Not even my wife. RBC usually have voice authentication, I guess that failed. Or they recorded me?
And also the hacker originally repeated my old address but I never gave a new one. When I do call RBC they usually ask my address and things about my account that I am likely only to know. It's so strange.
How can I get out of this mess?
Does anyone have any success having their physical debit card number changed? Any other advice?
I feel one day if this keeps happening I could be out money.
Would I be protected and refunded?
While I admit I did get fooled into giving my debit card number it wasn't my pin or password and they were the ones who tricked RBC over and over. And Ive taken all reasonable preacuations to secure my account since then.
However having this severely restricted account where I can't call in and since I travel 6 months per year as you can imagine I can't do this long term.
if you read this far thanks so much for reading, Any advice is appreciated!

So my(23M) ex- girlfriend (23F) have been in a long distance relationship for two and a half years. It all went well in the beginning, she was living very close to me during the COVID lockdown and we were seeing each other very very often. She thought it could be a summer fling and thought I'll be done once we go back to college (which I have not thought of once). First one year of the relationship was pretty rocky. I didn't know how to convey that I love her. She believed in the feeling of butterflies in her stomach as love while I looked at it as a commitment made to one another, sticking through the hard time and being there for each other.
So obviously it didn't workout. We took a break for four months after which she wanted to get back together and I wanted to too, I missed her very bad. I started putting in the effort. I visited her at her college at every possible event. I was feeling better that I was putting in effort this time. But at every minor inconvenience she felt I was falling back to my older habits (which I don't think I was).
And then when we had major life events, she didn't let me process my loss and instead chose to dump her trauma on me. I called it quits and I was doing so much better. I felt very relieved after it. I started going to festivals and doing so much better. After a long time, I had this inner urge to succeed in my career and I was working so hard for it.
And then she came back asking for help in her studies ( she has two friends at most who wouldn't help her out ), so I felt sad. I always had this soft corner for her, she wasn't blessed with the support system or the resources that I had and I thought I was my responsibility to help her. And I felt very happy that I was able to help her out. In the middle of this, she hinted that she might be seeing someone, which did not bother me at all coz she was my ex who used to be my bestfriend.
Fast forward three months , she started texting random stuff to ask me for help. I didn't feel good about it coz it felt like I was taken advantage of, so I told her I have my boundaries and I'm not the guy you can just talk to in times of need. She apologized and said she'll give me the space.
After a week or two, she asks me about another thing and I helped her just for the sake of it. She comes back with 'do you know I'm just coming to you for help because sometimes I just wanna talk to you.
I was confused and I asked her she was dating someone to which she replied no and that I just assumed I was dating.
I asked so many questions and none of her pointed towards the possibility of a guy being there. When she asked me to call her out on her wrongdoings during our relationship, I declined saying 'Im not going to figure out shit for you so that you can go back to the guy' to which she said ' there is no guy. Idek if he'll workout and if I will ever act on it'.
She even said ' I cannot talk to you continuously for a week because I'll start to get feelings for you and I'll ask if we can do this'
So I met her IRL and wanted to sort out things with her when he called him on her phone and it hit me like a brick. The guy was still around. I had no idea. I wanted to get out of the place asap. It was very late so I had to drop her at her house. She was crying the entire time until home. She texted me at 3-4am in the night telling me 'everything else is superficial and I'll get over it but not me' so it was still confusing what she was doing.
One week later, I called her again to sort out things and clear all of my confusions since I was still fucked in the head. I had no idea if I was the side guy or he was. She was outside with the guy, planning to spend the night with him. I was devasted. I yelled out cuss words.
I feel like the entire I spent rebuilding myself was a waste and I never recovered from the breakup. I couldn't believe how gullible I was. I never knew she was such a person and honestly I'm shocked to my core as to what sort of person I was thinking of spending the rest of my life with.
I need all of your thought on this. I've been convincing myself this is not my sort and I've been trying to place myself in her shoes and none of the arguments make sense to me.

Hi. So I'm 19M, in college, and it's ending soon. I have a little group of friends, and there's one girl who I have interest in romantically in that group. She's 20 and she knows who I am, we share similar interests, we talk fairly frequently and I just think she's really cool and nice. I've been debating about if I should even try asking her to go out with me though.
I'm not good at this, I've never been in a relationship and I haven't had much practice or experience with either going on dates or being rejected. I'm trying to figure out if it's even worth it to ask her because there's things I'm considering that I think might make it a bad idea.
For one, I don't even know if she'd be into me. At one point when we were all talking about how our class is full of LGBTQ+ people (Myself included, I'm bi lol) she brought up how she didn't really know what she was. She's had a girlfriend before but didn't say she was lesbian, just blanket "queer" and that stuck with me. I wouldn't want to ask her out if she isn't into guys, and while I know she didn't say she wasn't into guys, I'm still just worried about making her uncomfortable.
Another thing too is regardless, she might not even share feelings for me. I'm pretty sure she's single but I don't know. I don't really ask questions directly about things like that. Like I didn't just ask one day "What's your sexuality" I just kind of learn about her as we have normal conversation or conversation happens around the group. So basically, another thing I'm concerned about is if I ask her out and the implications are that I'm interested in her, she may already be in a relationship or just not into me.
Now again, that's fine, but I also like her as a friend. If we can't be romantic partners, I'm fine with that, whatever, but I'm so worried about things becoming awkward between us and maybe the whole friend group. I don't want her to feel weird around me because she now knows I liked her, and we don't stay friends.
We've seen each other everyday for a while but with college coming to an end soon, in a week for me, I feel I have to make a decision quick because we won't be around each other much anymore because we aren't going think the same classes next year. We have each other on Discord but I'm really anxious about randomly talking to people on Discord, I'm more comfortable striking up conversation in person, and I feel asking if she wanted to hang out in Discord might be too hard for me unless I know she wants to talk to me.
I, for some reason, feel like this is a weirdly spesific issue but a billion other people have probably gone through this, so I'm just wondering if anyone had any advice for me. Thank you!

Shortly after *Final Fantasy VII* hit the gaming world in 1997, Cloud Strife’s howls of grief at the loss of his beloved companion Aerith Gainsborough were echoed by droves and droves of fans. These echoes gathered in swarms, reaching the developers in the form of petition signatures, each begging the makers of the game to allow Aerith’s resurrection. Though these prayers remained unanswered —until now—, there soon came more protests: this time, fans pleaded with the developers to consider making a remake of the original game. Both of these wishes were met with considerable derision, with large chunks of the fandom calling the requests delusional— which is why the Final Fantasy world had to prepare for another meteoric hit when the *Remake* project was finally announced in 2015. With Kitase, Nomura, Toriyama, Nojima, Uematsu and more of the original developers at the helm, along with longtime *FFVII* fan-turned-developer Hamaguchi, the *Remake* trilogy was met with great expectations. These were nevertheless surpassed, though one aspect of the trilogy’s first entry seemed to thoroughly puzzle some and enrage others. Far and wide, the resounding questions were “What are these Whisper things?”, “Why is Cloud having visions unrelated to Nibelheim and Zack?” and “Why and how in the hell did Zack survive?”
Friends, I believe the answer lies within this post. Welcome to my literary-analysis-based theory on the *Remake* trilogy’s most important and most secret plot point: Cloud’s hidden mission. I want to make this fun and suspenseful to read, so I will write my analyses in the same order and manner in which I encountered them while putting my theory together. You will be reading what initially sparked my curiosity, the path I took while researching for answers, the conclusions I made every step of the way, and only then will you read my theory, after which we’ll try and apply it to the *Remake* trilogy so far and see if it fits! I want you to experience the rollercoaster that I did when digging through SE content to bring you this post. Thank you so much for waiting for and anticipating this analysis, and I do hope you read every word to soak in every last bit of Clerith you can get. I also hope it’s really fun and touching for you (I cried at least once making this)! Let’s embark on our adventure through the compilation, other *FF* games and real-life events to find out what the *Remake* project is truly all about and anticipate the events of part 3.
N.B.: Please be aware that I have never seen this theory navigate online, so I have no idea if anyone has ever come up with a similar hypothesis. The big reveal I’m building toward might be something you’re already aware of or suspected. In that case, I hope this post doesn’t disappoint you if you’re one of the lovely people who requested it! At the very least, it will provide you with valuable literary and musical analysis, a ton of evidence you haven’t considered yet, and hopefully, entertainment too!
WARNING: Please be careful with the censored spoiler text, because I'll be referencing other *FF* games in this analysis and I don't want to ruin anything for you! Obviously, this analysis contains spoilers for the entirety of the *FFVII* compilation. Additionally, if you're not a fan of Clerith and you've stumbled upon this post, please stop here. I would hate it if something I worked on and posted made you angry, so please don't read this analysis. I have only good intentions and I just want everyone to enjoy the *FFVII* world as much as they can.
I. Groundwork: The Remake Timelines Theory
Before I take you on this ride, we must lay down the framework of the *Remake* Timelines Theory. In this section, we’ll be reviewing the general consensus of theorizers within the fandom on timeline/multiverse shenanigans, with some added specifications on my part. Please keep in mind that because the timeline mechanics are kept quite vague by the devs, there might be certain inaccuracies in my iteration of the timelines theory. Thankfully, these potential variances won’t have any effect on the legitimacy of the theory I’ll be presenting to you in this analysis.
I. a) Sephiroth’s Plan
The premise of the *Remake* trilogy is widely thought to be the result of post-OG Sephiroth attempting to succeed where he failed in OG. There are six key points we need to keep in mind to understand how this was possible.
I. a) i. Sephiroth in the Lifestream
Firstly, it’s important to remember that Sephiroth is dead and located in the Lifestream before OG even begins, and remains that way for almost all of OG's duration. He is only able to operate in the world of the living via his/Jenova's control over the living Sephiroth clones. In the OG timeline then, Sephiroth is sent to the Lifestream by Cloud twice: once before the game takes place on the night of the Nibelheim incident (pre-OG), and a second time during the final battle against Sephiroth (disk 3, chapter 3). During the long period between the Nibelheim incident and Sephiroth’s rebirth at the Northern Crater (disk 2, chapter 2), he exists in the Lifestream. After his ultimate defeat (post-OG), he returns there for good.
II. a) ii. Sephiroth Unintegrated
Secondly, because he is full of hatred and unyielding determination, Sephiroth’s spirit cannot become one with the planet. After both occasions where Cloud kills him in OG, Sephiroth retains his individual will and the memories of his lifetime, remaining a separate entity in the Lifestream. He says so himself in Nojima’s *Advent Children* prequel novel *On a Way to a Smile*:
“[Sephiroth] could sense the Lifestream trying to erode his spirit— the memories of his former experiences, thoughts and emotions. If he allowed himself be taken into the current, the being he once was would soon disseminate and disappear amongst the spirit energy cycling around the planet. [He] thought this unacceptable. The planet was to be his to rule, and to become a part of that system would be nothing short of defeat” (Lifestream Black 1).
Combined with Bugenhagen’s basic lesson on planetology (*FFVII* OG, disk 1, chapter 19), this excerpt provides interesting information on how the Lifestream normally works. Usually, when a life returns to the planet, its individuality (personality, will, consciousness, memories, etc.) is stripped away. The trappings of a soul’s former lifetime are progressively dissolved so that all that is left is the spirit itself, ready to integrate into the Lifestream. This way, soul energy can be “recycled” by the planet to animate new lifeforms in a sort of reincarnation process. The erasure of one’s memories in the Lifestream is necessary for the creation of a brand new life, poised to make its own memories: the slate must be wiped clean, so to speak. Sephiroth’s sheer hatred for and desire to dominate the planet is enough to keep him from undergoing this process.
It is also thought that Sephiroth cannot be integrated into the Lifestream because he was conceived with the use of Jenova cells in vitro. Given that so much of his consciousness and genetic makeup originate from an alien life force, it is impossible for him to become one with the planet.
Regardless of the reason, it is precisely this persisting individuality in death that allows Sephiroth to meddle in the world of the living during the post-OG events of *Advent Children*, as explained to us by post-OG Aerith in *On a Way to a Smile*:
“[Aerith] had sensed a different presence within the Lifestream cycling around the planet. It was the vehemence of a strong will, one that would never join with the planet. She knew this consciousness. It was [Sephiroth]. A merciless spirit hidden behind a beauteous wall. That spirit was now operating from within the Lifestream. [She] sensed that he was planning to exert his influence to the surface of the planet“ (Lifestream White 1).
I. a) iii. The Lifestream Beyond Time
Our third point is that the Lifestream has existed for as long as the planet, and has therefore touched every part of its history— including, of course, the events of OG. On that account, one could think of the Lifestream as atemporal. Considering this, it is possible for a spirit in the Lifestream to communicate with or even travel to the past, provided the necessary circumstances and/or abilities. For instance, the Aerith that appears in Cloud’s resolution scene in *Remake* (chapter 14) is commonly considered to be a post-OG Aerith, appearing to him from the future to try and dissuade him from falling for her. This time-defying event is made possible by the fact that post-OG Aerith’s spirit has access to the atemporal Lifestream because she's deceased. In my view, this explains why she dissolves into green light (Lifestream visual cue) at the end of [the resolution scene](https://youtu.be/ZPkqDB4guW8?si=JR1UTKl5cEFsFvfE&t=319) (5:19-5:45). This is not time travel per se, but it is a manner of communication unobstructed by the one-directionality of a linear timeline that only spirits can perform.
I. a) iv. Sephiroth Beyond Time
What we’ve covered so far amounts to our fourth point. Please familiarize yourself with the graph below before you continue reading. Refer back to the graph when you encounter **text in bold**.
The Remake Timelines Theory: FFVII OG Timeline
As we discussed in section “I. a) i.”, Sephiroth is dead and located in the Lifestream **for the duration of the green arrow and beyond point D**: in the context of the OG timeline, he can only ever be considered “alive” during the **period highlighted in purple**. In section “I. a) ii.”, we asserted that Sephiroth retained his individual will in the Lifestream, enabling him to exert his influence on the world of the living by manipulating his clones on the surface. In section “I. a) iii.”, we covered the atemporal nature of the Lifestream, which allows post-OG Aerith’s spirit to communicate with her past, living self thanks to her Cetra abilities. Now, I will explain to you how Sephiroth was able to do virtually the same thing, albeit his lack of Cetra blood.
To the characters of the story and a fully immersed first-time player of OG, the timeline above was not always an established series of events: when they first started playing *FFVII* OG, the player began at **point B**, with nothing existing beyond it. It is only as the player moved Cloud forward that the **black**, **arrowed timeline** was drawn, accumulating lived events (or **points**) in Cloud’s wake. The picture you see above is only available to Cloud and to the player with hindsight. All this to state the obvious: at **point B**, Cloud could not know what would occur, say, at **point C**.
During the **period highlighted in purple**, Sephiroth was “alive” again, accumulating new memories on the surface of the planet and adding them to his consciousness. When he entered the Lifestream for the second time at **point D**, he brought these memories with him. Simply put, after returning to the Lifestream at **point D**, Sephiroth remembers what happened during the **period highlighted in purple**. However, given that the Lifestream exists beyond time, upon Sephiroth’s consciousness’ return to the Lifestream at **point D**, his newly acquired memories were also made available to him at all points on the **green, double-arrowed line**— including **point A**, before the OG timeline even begins at **point B**. So while it is true that Cloud cannot know what will occur at **point C** if he is only at **point B**, Sephiroth indeed knows what will occur during the **period highlighted in purple** when he is only at **point A**. While a living, pre-OG Aerith would be able to receive post-OG Aerith’s spirit’s knowledge through the Lifestream thanks to her Cetra powers, Sephiroth has no need for this ability. The fact that he resides in the Lifestream for practically the entire ***FFVII*** **OG timeline** renders the limitations of time irrelevant: as far as the **timeline** is concerned, Sephiroth exists beyond time itself.
In summary, after **point D** was first encountered in OG, pre-OG Sephiroth (in the Lifestream) is made aware of his eventual defeat, and begins plotting an alternate path to victory. This time, with the benefit of hindsight, he will do things differently: we experience his "second” attempt at *FFVII* as the *Remake* trilogy.
I. a) v. Sephiroth Against Fate
Of course, the Whispers stand squarely in Sephiroth’s way. This leads us to our fifth point, which *Remake Ultimania* describes better than I ever could:
“According to Red XIII, who gained knowledge through his contact with Aerith, ‘The Whispers are drawn to those who attempt to alter destiny’s course and ensure they do not’ […]. It would appear that what the Whispers deem to be ‘fate’ is the original story of Final Fantasy VII” (section 08 “Secrets”, “Newly Arisen Mysteries”, “What Is the Goal of the Elusive Whispers?”, page 733).
OG’s plot line is the fated timeline, and the Whispers are tasked with its preservation. They prevent alternative paths from even beginning to branch out from the OG timeline, which poses a problem for Sephiroth: he cannot win *FFVII* if his destiny is to lose it.
I. a) vi. Sephiroth and the Multiverse
Consequently, our sixth point is that Sephiroth must dismantle the mechanisms of fate before he can even try to accomplish his dreams of godhood.
As Sephiroth explains in chapter 14 of *Rebirth*, “the planet encompasses \[an ever unfolding\] multitude of worlds”, and these“\[new worlds are born\] when the boundaries of fate are breached.” Since the Whispers uphold the “boundaries of fate”, a world in which Sephiroth’s evil plans succeed can only emerge after the Whispers have been defeated. Otherwise, destiny will continue to protect the OG plot line by preventing any significant deviations. Consequently, before the party vanquishes fate, the *Remake* timeline and the OG timeline are one and the same: before chapter 18, *Remake* Barret is OG Barret, *Remake* Tifa is OG Tifa, *Remake* Hojo is OG Hojo, etc. After the defeat of Destiny, the OG timeline is no longer protected by fate: there are now an infinite number of timelines or worlds, including those we see glimpses of in *Rebirth*: *Remake* Barret is no longer necessarily OG Barret, *Remake* Tifa is no longer necessarily OG Tifa, *Remake* Hojo is no longer necessarily OG Hojo, etc. Perhaps this is why Aerith gives the party the following warning at destiny’s crossroads in *Remake*:
“[This] is the wall of destiny. If we go through it… if we go beyond it… then all of us will change, too” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Destiny’s Crossroads”).
I. a) vii. Sephiroth’s Plan
Now that these six points have been elucidated, we can compose a solid hypothesis on how Sephiroth plots to win *FFVII*.
After gaining knowledge of his eventual demise (disk 3, chapter 3), pre-OG Sephiroth began thinking of what he must do in *Remake* from the Lifestream. First, Sephiroth must antagonize the Whispers in the initial stages of the OG timeline. He accomplishes this by commanding his clones to commit acts that drastically violate the fated timeline, engendering plot-line deviations that the Whispers must course-correct. The most extreme example transpires in *Remake*’s chapter 17 when the Sephiroth clone in President Shinra’s office kills Barret, forcing the Whispers to restore the fated plot line by coming forth and reviving him. The Whispers react to Sephiroth’s prodding by rushing in to protect fate, their efforts culminating in the protective wall of destiny that surrounds Midgar in chapter 18.
Secondly, after he’s created an opportunity for a battle against the Whispers, Sephiroth must convince the party to seize it and beat fate for him. After all, a mere Sephiroth clone is probably no match for Destiny. This second step is accomplished in *Remake*’s chapter 18 when Sephiroth successfully tempts Cloud to breach the boundaries of fate. Now that destiny is no longer a limitation, worlds deviating from the OG timeline can finally emerge; Sephiroth has a chance at victory.
The steps Sephiroth plans to take going forward are unknowable at this stage, but we do get more hints in *Rebirth*’s chapter 13. At the Temple of the Ancients, Sephiroth reveals a part of his plot:
“Sephiroth: My fragmented mother, these errant worlds... All shall be one again.
Aerith: The ‘Reunion’…!”
It seems Sephiroth eventually plans to merge the worlds created by destiny’s defeat in *Remake*’s chapter 18. My guess is he hopes to achieve godhood in part 3 and consolidate all diverting worlds into a single timeline protected by destiny once more— only this time, his victory will replace the ending of OG as the destined outcome. If he succeeds, Sephiroth’s Black Whispers will likely replace the planet’s Whispers as the arbiters of his desired fate.
I. b) Aerith’s Intervention
But Aerith can’t let this slide unchallenged!
We know that before chapter 18 of *Remake*, while the OG plot-line is still protected by fate, Aerith has knowledge of its future. This is insinuated by certain slips of the tongue: for instance, when Aerith reveals she knows Cloud is a mercenary upon meeting him for the second time in chapter 8, just like she knows Tifa will ask her to retrieve Marlene at Seventh Heaven in chapter 12. In the run-up to *Remake*, post-OG Aerith's spirit likely sensed Sephiroth planning his second try at *FFVII* in the Lifestream. She’s been able to anticipate Sephiroth’s plotting in the Lifestream before, namely in the context of *Advent Children*:
“[Aerith] had sensed a different presence within the Lifestream cycling around the planet […]. It was [Sephiroth] […]. That spirit was now operating from within the Lifestream. [She] sensed that he was planning to exert his influence [on] the surface of the planet” (On a Way to a Smile, Lifestream White 1).
If you’re wondering how Aerith was able to maintain her individuality in the Lifestream like Sephiroth, On a Way to a Smile provides the following explanation:
“[Aerith] was an Ancient, which explained how she was able to maintain her individuality even within the Lifestream. If she so wished she could become part of the planet at any time, but [she] thought it too early for that just yet” (Lifestream White 1).
It is thought that, as a countermeasure to Sephiroth's scheming, post-OG Aerith’s spirit used the atemporal nature of the Lifestream to inform her past, living self (pre-OG Aerith) of this new threat to the planet. Because the Cetra can commune with spirits, pre-OG Aerith would have been able to receive post-OG Aerith’s message from the Lifestream without a problem. Essentially, pre-OG Aerith received post-OG Aerith’s memories of the fated OG timeline. As a consequence, pre-OG Aerith embarks on the OG timeline with knowledge of the fated future that demands she give her life: the player experiences this version of her in *Remake*.
Be that as it may, it’s unclear how much *Remake* Aerith is aware of. You would think she’d be completely opposed to defeating, destiny since it protects the planet, but Aerith shows ambivalence toward the idea instead. Had she gotten a clear message from her future self that she must keep fate intact, she would not have allowed the party to enter the battle against fate in chapter 18. She doesn’t seem to know what the Whispers are the first time she encounters them either. Regardless, what’s important is that the Aerith seen in *Remake* is the result of pre-OG Aerith receiving knowledge from post-OG Aerith via the Lifestream.
I. c) Ambiguity: Memory Transfer or Time-Travel?
There remains an ambiguity pertaining to the Aerith we see in *Remake* and the question of time travel. What I’ve described to you in section “I. b)” is post-OG Aerith's spirit transferring her memories to her past self through the Lifestream. However, it’s possible that post-OG Aerith’s consciousness used the atemporal nature of the Lifestream to inhabit her living OG body instead, effectively time-traveling. There is no evidence to outright refute either explanation, since the gaps in Aerith’s memories of the OG plot-line in *Remake* can be explained in both cases. For instance, in a memory transfer scenario, it’s possible that post-OG Aerith only communicated the most essential information to pre-OG Aerith. On the other hand, in a time-travel scenario, one could interpret the following quotes as proof that the Whispers are progressively erasing Aerith’s memories of OG as *Remake* advances:
“Aerith: Every time the Whispers touch me, a piece of me falls away” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”)
“At any rate, Aerith is perplexed at how, like a flower being scattered, something inside is being taken away by the Whispers and lost to her” (Toriyama in FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”, “Scenario Staff Q&A - Answered by Motomu Toriyama”).
This ambiguity is completely irrelevant to Sephiroth’s situation in *Remake*, as we established in section “I. a) iv.”.
The specifics don’t matter nearly as much as I’m impressing upon you by explaining all these little alternatives. Simply keep in mind that: regardless of why, the Sephiroth and Aerith we see in *Remake* know the events of the OG game because they have acquired this knowledge from the future, and the events of *Remake* occur squarely within the OG timeline until the Whispers are defeated in chapter 18.
So there! That’s my iteration of the *Remake* Timelines Theory! I hope I’ve made it clear in your mind, or at least clearer. Now that we’ve established the widely theorized premise of the *Remake* trilogy, we can get into our theory on its hidden premise.
II. My Initial Curiosity
My theory first burgeoned upon going through *Remake* for the second time. I noticed something strange going on with Cloud, something that could not be explained by the *Remake* Timelines Theory. Key moments in *Remake* Cloud’s experience of the OG timeline (aka, everything before chapter 18) stuck out to me as strange and mysterious, and certain inexplicable audiovisual cues struck me as hugely significant. It was upon watching the tear fall from Cloud’s eye during my second go at chapter 8 that I knew I had to look into this.
At the very end of *Remake*’s chapter 8, Cloud watches Aerith walk away from him, humming happily into the night air as she sets off to lead the way to Sector 7. According to the VA script notes, “his heart skips a beat” and watching her walk away provokes a sudden “anxiety” within him. Triggered by the familiarity of the sight, a strange sensation overcomes Cloud:
“[There’s a] close-up shot of Cloud’s fingertips (they’re tingling). He presses them to his temples (his eyes are burning). A trickle of tears quickly rolls down from the eye hidden behind his hand” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “A Midnight Ambush”).
If you’re clever, you’ll recognize these lines as a reference to the speech Cloud makes in OG following Aerith’s death at the City of the Ancients (“My fingers are tingling. My mouth is dry. My eyes are burning!”) (disk 1, chapter 28). In this small moment in chapter 8 of *Remake*, Cloud experiences a flash of the profound grief he is destined to feel upon Aerith’s fated death.
Many players immediately recognized the composition of this scene: the blue-greenish air, the straight path Aerith heads down, the sight of her walking away itself… this moment closely resembles Cloud’s Sleeping Forest dream of Aerith in OG, wherein Cloud and Aerith’s very last words are exchanged (disk 1, chapter 25). Toriyama, codirector of the *Remake* project, comments on this scene thusly:
“It’s possible these similarities […] cause a memory of the future to be called forth in Cloud” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “A Midnight Ambush”).
The language used by Toriyama here is strange in both the English translation and the Japanese original: the term “memory of the future” makes no sense. One cannot remember things they haven’t already experienced, so why did Toriyama use the word “memory” to describe a "future" event? Couldn’t he have simply said that *Remake* Cloud experiences “visions of the future” rather than “\[memories\]”?
Cloud experiences a few moments like these throughout the game. These pseudo-premonitions are just as markedly exclusive to *Remake* as the Whispers are. I did not want to dismiss them as a foreshadowing device the devs included just to elicit emotional reactions from OG players; I felt they were more important. And thus began my digging! My mission was initially to figure out what these “\[memories of the future\]” (MOTFs) could signify… I had no clue it would turn into what I’m writing right now.
II. a) Each MOTF and Its Context
I began by finding every one of Cloud’s MOTFs so I could better understand them.
MOTF 1 occurs in chapter 2 on Sector 8’s Loveless Street, when Cloud sees Aerith struggling against the Whispers. The VA script notes reveal that even though this is only his first time seeing her, Cloud recognizes Aerith’s face:
“Recognizing Aerith’s face causes Cloud to experience [a hallucination]. Sephiroth is suddenly standing between him and Aerith” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Encountering Aerith”).
Sephiroth then taunts Cloud with words that, according to the script notes, “\[live\] inside of Cloud's heart”*:* “You can’t protect anyone. Not even yourself”. Cloud should not recognize Aerith’s face at this point in the OG timeline, nor should he associate it with not being able to protect people.
MOTF 2 occurs in chapter 3, at the plaza in front of the Sector 7 slums support pillar. Cloud experiences a MOTF of the plate falling, which is fated to occur at a much later point in chapter 12. The Whispers float near him, “watching Cloud alertly as he sees a vision of the future” (*FFVII Remake Ultimania*, section 08 “Secrets”, “Newly Arisen Mysteries”, “What Is the Goal of the Elusive Whispers?”, page 733).
MOTF 3 occurs in Aerith’s church at the start of chapter 8, when Aerith mentions that her mother’s materia is “not good for anything at all”. Triggered by the mention and sight of the White Materia, Cloud’s fourth MOTF takes the form of a vision: he sees quick flashes of the materia falling into the lake of the Forgotten Capital and Aerith holding her hands together in prayer. These are evidently visions of her death in OG (disk 1, chapter 28).
MOTF 4 is the one we first discussed, occurring at the very end of chapter 8 as Cloud watches Aerith walk away from him to lead the way toward Sector 7.
MOTF 5 occurs in chapter 13 shortly after the Sector 7 plate has fallen on the slums. Cloud tells Barret that Marlene is safe at Aerith’s house, and they begin heading there. As Cloud thinks about Aerith, the VA script notes describe the very next moment as follows:
“Cloud: Tifa, you know anything about the Ancients?
Tifa: I’ve heard of them before, but…
Barret walks on ahead, showing little interest in the topic.
Barret: Read a book on planetology and they’re sure to come up. They’re a tribe that cultivated the planet a real long time ago. Used to talk to it. That sort of stuff.
Cloud: That must be why the Turks were after her.
[Psychic] interference starts up.
[Cloud has a] flashback of Sephiroth from five years ago, after learning of his ancestry at Shinra Manor […].
Sephiroth [(in flashback, voice tinged with madness)]: Within my veins flows the blood of the Ancients. I am the rightful heir to this planet!
The flashback ends and Cloud looks lost in thought. The interference starts up once more. Cloud makes agonized sounds. When he opens his eyes, Sephiroth is actually standing before him.
Sephiroth: You failed again— failed to protect [her]*.
Cloud is startled. He shrinks back. Tifa watches what’s happening. The other two can’t see Sephiroth. All they see is Cloud acting frightened.
Sephiroth: But loss will make you strong. […] Isn’t that what you want?
With that, Sephiroth departs.”
*Sephiroth does not use a gendered pronoun here, because the grammatical structure of the original Japanese sentence doesn’t necessitate it. I've seen some debate as to whether the proper translation is “her” (Aerith, who’s just been kidnapped), or “them” (Jessie, Biggs or Wedge, who have seemingly just died). I believe Sephiroth was referring to Aerith for a few reasons. First, Cloud’s hallucinations of Sephiroth always appear as a response to whatever he is perceiving or thinking about at the moment. At this point in the scene, Cloud has been thinking and talking about Aerith for some time, and not about Jessie, Biggs or Wedge. The Sephiroth hallucination must therefore be referring to “her” rather than to “them”. Secondly, Cloud was never tasked with “[protecting]” Avalanche, but he was in fact tasked with “[protecting]” Aerith as her bodyguard back in chapter 8: it makes far more sense for Sephiroth to be referring to Aerith when he speaks about someone Cloud “failed to protect”. Finally, FFVII Remake Ultimania describes this piece of dialogue as “[Sephiroth aiming] these profound words at Cloud, who not only failed to prevent the tragedy in the Sector 7 slums but allowed Aerith to be abducted” (Sephiroth’s profile in section 01 “Character & World”, “Impressive Words”, page 29): the specific mention of Aerith here seals my decision to translate the line with the pronoun “her”.
Contrary to Sephiroth’s words, this is the first time in *Remake* that Cloud “\[fails\] to protect \[Aerith\]”, and he hasn’t “\[lost\]” her either— not yet, at least. This fifth MOTF must then be similar to MOTF 1, in that Sephiroth is referring to Cloud’s guilt surrounding Aerith’s death in OG.
MOTF 6 occurs in chapter 17, in Aerith and Ifalna’s old room at Shinra HQ. The Whispers swarm Aerith as she tells the party earnestly that she wants to do everything in her power to help her friends and the planet: according to the script notes, it is at this very moment that, “for some reason, Cloud feels his chest constrict tightly” (*FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus*, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”). In the corresponding cutscene, this unpleasant physiological reaction to Aerith’s words makes Cloud glance down at his chest with a confounded frown. This physical response to her speech about wanting to fulfill her duty to the planet implies that Cloud somehow knows deep down that saving the world will cost Aerith her life.
At this point, I noticed that five out of the six MOTFs Cloud experiences in *Remake* are triggered by and/or revolve around Aerith specifically, the one exception being a MOTF of the Sector 7 plate fall. One could actually argue that this MOTF revolves around Aerith too, considering the plate fall marks the first time Aerith is taken away from Cloud since reuniting with her in the Sector 5 slums church. This is more than plausible, as MOTF 5 proves that in the wake of the Sector 7 plate fall, Cloud’s main concern is Aerith (see section “II. a)”). How fitting is it, then, that the merc of few words’ longest uninterrupted piece of dialogue in all of *Remake* is:
“We found an underground Shinra lab where they've done human testing. This wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. I know these people, and I know they're never gonna let Aerith go. She's the last living Ancient on the planet. Think about what that means to Shinra's scientists. Especially to that son of a bitch Hojo. We're all just numbers and meat to him—“ (Remake, chapter 13).
Cloud would’ve gone on too, had Elmyra and Tifa not stopped him.
At this point in my research, my questions were only stacking up. What are these MOTFs? Why is Cloud the only one experiencing them? Why do all of them implicate Aerith? What did the devs hope to accomplish with their inclusion in the game? What do they mean for *Remake*’s story? But most importantly:
II. b) What Does Cloud Know?
The first assertion we have to make is simple, yet essential: the only reason Cloud would experience MOTFs is that whatever’s triggered them is significant to him in one way or another. Some part of him must recognize his triggers for them to be triggers at all. It’s clear he doesn’t consciously understand the meaning of his MOTF triggers, just like his Jenova triggers: for example, Cloud doesn’t know why Zack’s name causes him to experience psychic interference, but it sure does. We as players know Cloud’s MOTFs are hinting at Aerith’s fated death because of our awareness of OG, but as a character navigating the OG timeline, *Remake* Cloud shouldn't even be unconsciously aware of Aerith’s eventual death in the slightest! Whatever the nature of the MOTFs, it’s essential to understand that if Cloud “\[recognizes\]” Aerith’s face the first time he sees her, it must mean some part of him knows Aerith’s face in the first place. If this recognition triggers a hallucination of Sephiroth telling Cloud he “can’t protect anyone”, it must mean some part of him knows he was once unable to protect Aerith. The same goes for every other MOTF: subconsciously, *Remake* Cloud somehow has memories of the OG timeline. Most interestingly, it looks like he either only has OG memories related to Aerith, or like his OG memories of Aerith are simply the only ones prominent enough to trigger his MOTFs. Why and how does *Remake* Cloud have memories of OG, and why are they so focused on Aerith in particular? What does he know?
When examining a situation with no explanation, it’s wise to examine similar situations that have already been explained. Maybe the mystery of *Remake* Cloud’s MOTFs will become more approachable if we consider the cases of the only other *Remake* characters who seem to know the future: Aerith and Sephiroth. *Remake* Sephiroth knows the future of the OG timeline because his consciousness exists beyond time in the Lifestream, while *Remake* Aerith likely obtained her knowledge of the future from post-OG Aerith’s spirit via the Lifestream. But what about Cloud? Where does his weaker, fragmented knowledge come from?

They call her 'monster'. How quick to judge, the willful ignorant.
I know what she is; I've known since we first met - the rescue from the alien raiders was not a pretty one, nor was it efficient. But when confronted with a cabal of creatures that promises a slow, sweet death so drawn out that it borders on the fantastical, is it right to question the methods used to bring you salvation? A lesson that so many others of her sisterhood would deign to have learned well, at times - despite everything that's happened to the Imperium at large.
But, I digress.
My life has ever been unremarkable, up unto that point; a proudly-serving member of the Auxilia, seeking to bring order to the galaxy that fights my species with every forward step we take. My lineage is mundane, my history plain, my accolades whilst serving the Imperium enough to be competent, not so poor as to be lacking. Yet all of what could have been an uninteresting life now feels like a half-remembered dream, after that moment she strode across the broken bodies of our would-be torturers. A heartbeat of an eyeblink of a moment, the first time her eyes were set to mine; mine to hers, for where else would they be, when one of the Primarchs makes their presence known? They draw all sight and sound to them, in their own unique ways - a manner of being daughters of the Emperor, I would imagine. Hers to mine? I... will never know. I think it better that way. All that I allow myself to know - despite what I now understand of that terrible burden upon her mind - is that in that brief moment, hazel found amethyst.
I was no longer among the Auxilia, a heartbeat later. Instead, I was a consort of one Constance Curze, the 'Night Haunter' as she famously prefers to be addressed as.
What came after is well documented - the manners in which she established compliance on many of the worlds she was beset upon, along with her sons. The allusion to her growing instability, the fears of her mind breaking where her body would not. The concerns that she was becoming a liability, not just to her fellow Primarchs but to the Imperium at large. The Heresy. What came after. What's meant to come, if Constance's visions are what she's confessed to me, in the quiet moments we've shared with each other when her mind is her own.
Oh, I quite know the manner of her curse -- and it *is* a curse. To believe your future set in a way where nothing you can do, nothing you can say to try and reshape destiny will matter. To think that your life is already decided for you, and to do nothing but see this 'fact' in everything you look upon -- even the ones you love. To see nothing but a future where everything you care for burns... it would drive us all a little mad, wouldn't it? But, there's the rub -- even as I put these thoughts to parchment, in this stronghold of stone and ruin. Even as I stride halls lined with horror and atrocity ... I know that in the center of it all, is a woman that waits to look upon me. Through the blood, and the mania, and the chaos that has become our lives? She sees me -- and I see her. Just as we had, when we first came to know of each other's existances.
And in those gentle, tender moments of breath drawn between us...
... the madness calms. Her eyes clear, just a little. Just enough to know me. To know who I am, and what I represent. To see me and dare to think a speck of something tragically lacking in her life is still within her reach.
She sees me, and she still thinks there's hope.
They call her 'monster'. I would be a far greater one, were I to take that from her. I would take away from this hurt, fractured woman, the last thread of longing sanity that I see in those moments where she beckons me to her side, even if only to sit with her a spell while she leans her weight against me. The tiniest twitch of her lips, in what I know is the smile that her wounded mind struggles to suppress. The lull of eyes that see my death and the ruin of her heart, but in those moments? The allowance of quiet, timid wants for prophecy to merely be suggestion. I know where I will be, if there truly is something coming to punish Constance for the crimes she's committed against the so-called 'heroes' of the Imperium. I will do what I can, to have the hope she sees in me flourish, even if it's but a fool's hope. I'd rather be a fool than among their number.
They call her a monster. They call her a sinner.
Let them. I've seen what they call saints.
At least there's honesty, when midnight clad.

https://www.reddit.com/Paranormal/comments/1csea6s/the_day_i_strangled_my_cousin/
The day "i" strangled my cousin.May 15th 2024, 06:33, by BraveShoppingCart
So just found this sub Reddit and have been reading all the spooky stories, just thought I'd share mine.
So my grandma used to live in a 4 stories high flat, she was on the top floor. She lived there for 50+ years (the whole building is 100+ years old).
When my mum was a little girl she experienced a lot of creepy shit. She told me this particular story as I grew a bit older that really stuck with me all these years, One night while she was sleeping in bed with her little sister (they shared a room), she looked over to the door and seen a man standing in the shadows, full of fear she froze and didn't know what to do she just stared at this "man" and decided to wake her sister up while having her eyes fixed on this man. Her sister woke up and began to cry after seeing this and her parents came in the room and the "man" was gone.
Another thing my mum told me was beside the garden door on the bottom floor there was a little indoor storage area where all residents of the flat could store their bikes, scooters etc. My mum told me to not go in it, she legit told me it's haunted stay away from it, I never went close to it, infact I remember everytime I had to go up to my grans by myself I would feel a eerie feeling coming from that little compartment and I would sprint up the stairs, I would also feel as if something was following me from behind as I was going upstairs.
Anyway that's just some backstory of this house, now when I was 14 years old. Myself, my brothers and my cousins we all used to go over to my grans quite regularly and back then we never had phones or anything so we used to play games like hide and seek, what's the time Mr. Wolf etc, one day it was just me and one of my cousins (he was around 11) all the adults used to sit in the living room and they used to tell us to go play, because we used to scream they used to tell us to close the door, which we always did.
So my cousin and I decided to play hide and seek, I tell him that lll seek he hides, he agrees and goes to hide. I face the wall and begin to count down, when I finish I go to look for him, I start by the kitchen, he's Not there, I go to the bathroom Not there, then I go to my grandparents bedroom, inside the bedroom they had this closet, it was more like a small room plenty of space in there for like 4 people, this is where they stored a bunch of blankets and old traditional furniture. As I entered the bedroom to my surprise he jumps out from this closet with both his hands on his throat crisscrossing eachother, looking pale and blue, what he says next I will never forget he says "why did you strangle me".
My first instinct was to call him a dumbass and say "I didn't" then he says "you were behind me strangling me I saw your face" this sent shivers down my spine. Now in my head I'm thinking if I am currently infront of you, how could I have just "teleported" Infront of you if I was right behind you a second ago?. For this to make any sense I would have strangled him then I would have to somehow run directly infront of him, out the closet door without him seeing me and get to the position I was currently in which is impossible. So being the older cousin I could clearly sense the fear and distraught he was in, so to lighten the mood I started to laugh and giggle and said "yeah it was me hahahahaha, I was behind you" I hugged him, but honestly I was fucking shitting my pants.
We stopped playing hide and seek after that.
His mum was mad at me for "strangling" him, I just took all the blame, I told my mum what happened when we left my grans, she believed me and hugged me and we kept it to ourselves.
Many years down the line i was like 21 and this cousin was like 18ish, i bought this story up with him and he remembered clear as day exactly what happened, we talked and now that he was way older he understood what had happened and that it was completely impossible for me to be infront of him and also behind him strangling him a moment ago. He thanked me for giving him that comfort at that young age, and telling him it was me strangling him, he said for many years he believed it was me (because I told him it was) he also said that if I didn't say it was me, he would've been paranoid for the rest of his life.
He said as he grew older he starting to think about that day and started to realise there was no possible way it could've been me strangling him if I had just come into the bedroom, he stared to put it together by himself.
Thankfully, that house has now been sold. But even as I grow older, there are moments when I feel the urge to drive by it again. Yet, as I approach, a sense of unease creeps over me, and I find myself accelerating, desperate to escape its haunting grip just a little quicker.
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Okay. Sorry if anyone saw this earlier, I accidentally posted it early.
If you dont want to read this whole backstory and get to the main point, scroll till the next bold text...or just scroll to the bottom.
I've always been good at math. I'm not Young Sheldon (though, maybe, to them, I seem like Young Sheldon...?) levels of good at math, but I'm reasonably above my peers–I passed calculus 3 in freshman year of college. I'm a data science student, which works with AI and stuff. I could talk about that shit for hours. But I'm not a super genius. I still studied like crazy. I spent an exhausting amount of effort into passing that class, I didn't instantly get concepts, I don't know. But that's what I'm good at, because how my autism works is that I think of the world in a very objective way.
I think about it so objectively, that I have a hard time handling emotional relationships because sometimes human thought just doesn't make sense. If I can't rationalize something, it'll distress me. Cue not understanding sarcasm, having little friends, etc. Generic "you have autism" symptoms. I also have many bad sensory problems, poor auditory processing (I need subtitles), and there's textures to food that I can't swallow–but I can get used to the taste. But come on, they say I'm low-empathy. I'm textbook genius, without the genius part.
Ever since I was a little kid, like maybe 10 or so, I was introduced to concept of autism and related to it. I'm 19 now, so I want to say it was around 2015 (as a time marker in relation to COVID). For 9 years, I've thought about having autism. I know self-diagnosis is valid is a rule, but remember, I think of things objectively–until a professional says I have something, I'm not sure if I do, by the book, have the disorder. It also has to do with stereotypes. As I said, I'm not a genius. I'm not completely dumb, either. I can tell when people are exaggerating and understand when there's a shift in tone. (But, I, actually, am pretty monotone actually. That's what they tell me, at least.)
But I've gone through a myriad of other disorders. SSRIs since freshman year of high school. But at the time, people were impressed enough with my math skills that they overlooked the other things. When COVID hit, things fell apart.
Another thing I live with is ADHD, inattentive. I know that AuDHD is very common. I like to think of my ADHD as being relatively bad. I have always had problems with executive dysfunction, and I often cannot get ANYTHING done without medication. As I got older, I was expected to do more things myself, and found that I couldn't. I had no self-discipline. I couldn't even be paid to do chores. Anyway, when I was 16, in early 2021, I was diagnosed. (before someone asks: yes, I'm a girl/ AFAB. ) It changed everything for me. Before then, I was simply a smart kid who got lazy. Now, with medication, I actually have a chance of being something worthwhile. After a few years of shitty grades, and constant guilt on your mind, the reward cycle that is academia really clicked in.
Apparently, another thing that supporting my ADHD has done, is reveal my autism to the world. Because I feel like I'm being driven like a motor, I could infodump for hours. Before now, just talking was exhausting. In a way, without me knowing it, my ADHD masked my autism for me. Without it, people start to notice. In college, they've noticed more. And there is a difference between telling yourself you might be autistic, and someone saying it to your face. The immediate reaction is to laugh–it's not funny, but it's what a normal person would do, so it's what you're doing right now. You should feel insulted–it's an insult! Obviously, I have some internalized ableism issues. Plus, my own autism can even clash with others'.
Still, I at least thought of myself as relatively able to be independent. I lived in a dorm, I managed to feed myself, I sleep. I do use drugs, but it's just weed. And sometimes drinking because it's college, but not too often. Basically, even if I am autistic, there's no benefit to actually confirming it. I've been through ADHD screening–it's hard, annoying, embarrassing, and expensive–and I don't want to go through it again if I don't have to.
Like everything else in my life, I also think of medical aid as a pros and cons system. I sacrifice having depression and ADHD on my medical record (military restrictions, minor stuff) for the medication I need, but I don't know how autism is.....treated? Managed? I don't know, my knowledge of the actual autistic community feels pretty minimal. I understand you can't take a pill to just make autism go away because it's so much more than that.
As a university student, I still need medication to help sustain whatever ridiculous workload I put on myself. I needed a new psychiatrist for legal reasons (I'm an out-of-state student) and the university health center provided me one. He's a really nice guy, funnier and more relatable than my last psychiatrist, and actually seems to care. I fall for it, as usual, and start talking more and more about myself than he needs to know. At our last appointment, I bring up my (aforementioned) sensory issues, and he asks me if I've thought about an autism diagnosis.
At that very moment, this almost killed me. This still doesn't truly mean I'm autistic, but it's a strong implication from someone I think of as much better educated in the field. It's close enough–it really is true. Without my prompting (I have this fear of psychiatrists and therapists thinking I'm full of myself/looking for pills/diagnosis so I pretend I've never googled anything on the internet), a psychiatric medical professional has asked about my potential autism. Then, I considered the question, have I thought about a professional diagnosis?
TL;DR, here's the real question:
My psychiatrist also recommended I get in contact with student disability resources for my [already-longterm-diagnosed] ADHD, so now I have to think, would an autism diagnosis benefit me at all? I feel like they pretty much overlap in accommodations. Also, I don't know what consists of "treatment" for autism, if there is any at all.
Additionally, I've heard that an autism diagnosis can keep you from having a job, consenting to surgery, just generally losing autonomy, and I want to avoid that. I'm a woman in the tech field, which is already overcrowded, and the misogyny in that community is still very strong. I'm not looking for any more disadvantages. So, I wanted to hear if anyone had any experience with something similar.
( End note: I'm truly, genuinely sorry if any phrasing is offensive, and I will change it called out. People have told me that I'm less sensitive to language than usual, and therefore can be blunt/rude on accident. )

Hi all, pretty torn here and looking for women’s perspective/opinion for a sanity check and considerations on how I should move forward. Looks long but I’ll try and make it an easy read 😅
Long story short, she keeps crossing my boundaries (to say it nicely). Over the years she has repeatedly had situations where she’s trying to get the attention of or flirt with other guys. It’s happened once every other year for over 10 years like she has a quota to meet. The most extreme cases were:

1. Telling me she’s going out with 2 girlfriends. Later find out it was with a group of guys too but her friend was trying to hook up with one of people there. She swears she was just trying to watch out for her friend. Still lied. This was year one so whatever, I let it slide.
   
2. We move in together. Go to buy couches and the salesman flirts with her. She’s asks for a better price and the guy says only if she’ll go to lunch with him. She ignores that comment and asks about other couches. Asks for a better price and says “you owe me lunch anyway”. She swears she was just playing along to get a deal. I say I don’t care, forget the deal, you should’ve told him you’re interested period. I try to let it go.
   
3. We’re walking down the street to a restaurant. Someone she knows pulls up and parks their car right next to us. She flings my hand away walks a few steps towards the car and looks around twirls whatever trying to get this guys attention. I stood looking at her like I know what she’s doing. Tell her to cut it.
   
4. We go to bar with friends. She sidebars conversations with my best friend’s girlfriend and guys approach them. When I go over, she tells me to go away because they’re having girl talk. I get mad, not wanting cause a scene, walk away but the “new guy friends” get to stay while they have girl talk. The keep getting drinks and she has her arm around someone now. I’m not letting this one go at all. She’s gone too far.
   

Now I know she won’t cheat. She’s just flirty and loves to be the center of attention in my opinion. I’m not an idiot and am experienced in relationships. Have walked away from cheats but nonetheless, she has gone too far.
When we talk about it, she isn’t apologetic at all. Defends herself to the end while acknowledging what I saw. Weird. When I try to tell her how this hurts me, we get into a fight because I start yelling when she defends herself. I get so frustrated because how could you defend yourself at all? I think only an apology would do. Defenses were it was the alcohol, I was just watching out for my friend, I didn’t know you would be bothered by it, you know I wouldn’t cheat get off my back. There’s no talk about apologies or making me feel better about respecting my boundaries.
Am I crazy or what? I feel like I’m not allowed to be pissed off about this after being patient for so long. I’m known among my family and friends to be the most loyal, patient, and understanding person they know. Yelling is uncharacteristic of me and this has brought my patience to an end. She acknowledges this. So after putting up with it for years, yelling about the straw that broke the camel’s back is making her leave. I’m not trying to save the relationship anymore. I’m wondering if I’m out of line. I think I deserve a pass here. Opinions appreciated. Thank you.

What is up whales, dolphins, and f2p (fish 2 play) folks. Today I've got real hard evidence that Yukong* is the BEST 4 star* support in ALL of Honkai Star Rail^tm.
Seriously, she isn’t only fun to play, she's FUN to play. She can auto, skill, or ultimate! literally none of the other supports have so many conflicting trace levels!! (except maybe crit pela..) A good Yukong player can literally clear any MOC 12 in a 0 cycle. Could they do that without Yukong?? Probably. Should they? Absolutely not, she's the best.
Nowadays supports literally just give a teamwide buff for 3 turns, or buff a single character for 3 turns. Like who wants to play someone boring like that? Yukong has the BEST of both worlds. A 2 (TWO) turn buff that expires after TWO (2) ally turns! It's big brain time for you small brained fish folk. This means you have to PLAN who can take their turn after Yukong if you want the buff. Any single target slows from the enemy? you're screwed sorry
Here's an example team comp I aneurismed over last month: Robin, Yukong, DPS Insert, Aventurine or other support. On Robins ult, you get a full 80%+ ATK buff on her while she follows up your ultimate, and other teammates damage! Huge gains. Not only that, but if you time Yukong's ultimate right, your other two units ALSO get 30ish CR and 70ish CD. A fuck ton of stats, my favorite numbers relating to characters.
She is also fun to play WITH. As a 'bad' unit enjoyer, I swoon when I have a perfectly lined up Yukong ultimate + skill combo into Sparkle Qinque Ultimate. Loads of Damage! She not only buffs up to TwO (2) units a fuckton, she ALSO hits for a metric TON. That ultimate I mentioned earlier? It hit's harder than a SEELE basic attack. I'll let that sink in. What's not to love about our jack of all trades support?
She can actually resist debuffs too, but lol who cares. Oh and gets a nice 10 speed for 2 (2) turns! SO useful. She's got a few other useful buffs too, but I don't really wanna remind myself what they are, just looking at her kit makes me salivate.
She just feels insane to play. I know deep inside that winning with Yukong means I am big brained. Losing just simply doesn't happen. You can't lose at this game. Would you rather win with E6 acheron? Or E6 Yukong? I know ALL of you say Yukong here, no contest.
I just LOVE damage supports that buff your whole team (for 2 (too) turns). Every other support looks measly in comparison, and are boring af.
Hoyo if you're reading this, PLEASE make the next character require multivariable calculus to hit maximum damages. Yukong is way too easy. This won't change anyone’s mind about future design of characters, but I simply think Yukong is by far the best designed support so far.
p.s. 5 star Sampo when????

Admitting we have a problem is the first step in solving it! Author is a Eugenean talking about her experience with rising crime in the city, never saw this story but hey, still relevant today. Found this little gem by random chance. Title is a hopefully relatable quote from the article. You can agree or disagree with the author, but it's actually pretty well written with sources included. (just including the whole article, for people who don't want to click links!)

I Caught Two Men Stealing From My Home. The Aftermath Was Absurd—and All Too Typical.

This experience crystallized Oregon’s deeper problems.

BY REBECCA SCHUMANJUNE 21, 20225:40 AM
Typically, guys wearing power-company vests don’t leave the houses they’re working on laden down with backpacks—let alone power tools, a scooter, and a Nintendo Switch. But that was the scene I happened upon at 6:30 p.m. on a Tuesday in mid-April when I puttered into my driveway in Eugene, Oregon, my 7-year-old ensconced in the back seat.
For a second, my brain tried to normalize the incident: This is just my daughter’s dad stopping by—except there are two of him, and they’re dressed as electricians for some reason? Then, a second later, everything whooshed into place: Oh, wait, I’m being robbed. Or, rather, I was being burgled. I would get reminded of this distinction later, when I made the dubious choice to join the chorus of aggrieved buttinskies on Nextdoor, where my well-meaning post to warn the neighborhood would turn me into an accidental vigilante hero for a day.
Unfortunately, it’s true: My reaction to this burgle was the lived-out fantasy of many who have been on the business end of a property crime. As the two goons took off on foot down my street, I went into fight-or-flight mode—and I chose fight.
“Well,” I said to my confused child, “let’s go see if we can get our stuff back.”
I peeled my 2005 Subaru back onto the street and easily overtook my two targets, who then hurtled themselves into an alley, whereupon I cornered one by the driver’s side window as the other made haste across the adjacent parking lot.
“Just give it back, bro!” I yelled out my window. “Just give it back! I’m a single mom! Just give it back.”
I repeated this until either I reminded him too much of his meanest teacher or he realized he’d been caught in broad daylight. “Fine,” he said. “Just fucking take it.”
He shoved a backpack through my driver’s side window. Inside it was both my laptops and my daughter’s iPad from school. Back at home, I would discover these guys had used channel lock pliers to force open the back door, but that the general chaos of my home had prevented them from locating my passport, jewelry, or sole item of irreplaceable value: the Montblanc fountain pen that my father, who died in a bicycle accident two years ago, had gotten for his law school graduation. My cat was unfazed.
I can honestly tell you that this little caper of mine was thrilling and deeply satisfying. It was also the exact wrong thing to do. Even this fanatical open-carry gun website implores: “Don’t chase criminals.” What if these two dipsticks had been armed? As unlikely as that was—property crime in my town is often driven by addiction, and weapons are worth money, which can buy drugs—I put myself and my child in potential danger. And for what? Three grand worth of electronics. As any reputable expert will tell you, you’re never to give chase to a thief, because human life is not worth possessions. As much as I admit to enjoying being called a “badass” by everyone I told this story, plus the listeners of KLCC Oregon, I should not have done this.
I did call the police, on the nonemergency line, because the dudes were long gone and nobody was hurt. I declined the dispatcher’s offer to send two officers to fingerprint a bunch of stuff I’d already touched. At best, that would have just added two more sets of prints to my town’s burgeoning roster of perennially at-large property criminals.
There are larger issues here, issues much more important than my would-be cool story. First, it’s an example of how in Eugene, small-scale property crime is now de facto legal. It is largely nonviolent, so it’s rarely seen as worth police resources to track down the goods. At the same time, it is so prevalent that any time one vest-wearing bozo gets nabbed, three more spring up in his place. This was my house’s second break-in in six months, and my fourth property crime total in the three years I’ve lived here as an adult. Eugene is my hometown, so I can also add the four times my childhood house, where my mother still lives, has been burgled since the early 2000s. When I was little, we left our front door unlocked so regularly that I wasn’t aware front doors had locks on them until I was much older. By the time I turned 30, however, every door in my parents’ house had been pried open at least once. (“Time to finally get that alarm system!” said my dad for three straight decades.)
Still, it’s a mistake to treat this trend solely as a vexing crime problem. Eugene’s descent into its property crime epidemic has been concurrent, unsurprisingly, with two addiction epidemics: First, the methamphetamine nightmare of the 1990s—when pseudoephedrine pills were still unregulated—hit Oregon and other Western states particularly hard. That wave segued all too naturally into the opioid and fentanyl crisis of the present. Meanwhile, not only did meth never really leave, but its use in Oregon also surged with the pandemic, with three Oregonians per day currently dying a drug-related death.
Since our conversation was necessarily brief, I don’t know the housing or drug situation of the guys who broke into my place. But local statistics point to them as two more casualties of these plagues. (Granted, those statistics are from nearby Portland, and they are police-sourced, so take them how you wish.)
For all the ambivalent empathy that the opioid epidemic has engendered, the local property crime scourge has set off a fierce public backlash. My incident brought out an unsurprising chorus of bloodlust on Nextdoor and elsewhere, when I shared it because I wanted to give my immediate neighbors a heads-up: “You should have kicked their asses,” they wrote. “We need to rise up and defend our property.”
This town’s petty crime is often attributed, at least in the national conservative press, to our West Coast government’s decision to temporarily allow urban camping during the pandemic. (That policy has now officially ended, for what it’s worth.) Towns like mine have often been characterized in the popular imagination as unlivable crime-addled hellholes. I will be the first to admit that our tent cities are sometimes blatant open-air drug markets, but this is the case even as our property values inflate to absurd proportions—and our crime is actually on the decline. Still, Oregonians like me currently have about a 2.7 percent chance of being burgled, which, at almost 30 percent higher than the national average, is very high. I learned very efficiently how anecdotes like mine get around (I can’t help it if I’m a dynamic storyteller!) and attract the righteous indignation of other former victims, so many often feel, incorrectly, like we few honest vanguards are awash in a sea of riffraff.
This atmosphere, in turn, inspires my locality’s equally unreasonable political extremists to put forth and exacerbate their own untenable solutions. Even in a hyperpolarized American environment, Oregon is more polarized than most. For decades, our liberal enclaves have made Portlandia look understated, while our conservative areas make Texas’ look progressive.
For example, during the heyday of Eugene’s recently dismantled and infamous Washington Jefferson Park tent city, a larger break-in at a bicycle store was traced at least partially back to the encampment. The police swept the tents and made a flurry of arrests. Some of the bikes were found. This resulted in part in outrage over using resources to hassle the city’s most impoverished residents: “A stolen bike, yes, that sucks,” an advocate for the unhoused told a local news outlet. “But what are your priorities? And I’m sorry, but a stolen bike isn’t the priority.”
Well, trust me, in this town, it definitely isn’t. Recovering those bikes was an anomaly; in Eugene, most of these burglaries go unsolved. In fact, 87 percent of burglaries in the whole country do, too. The get-tough-on-property-crime proponents assert that statistically, this sends a message that stealing is fair game, and sure, that is a message I do not condone. But I also agree with a somewhat less rabid version of the opposing view: Property is replaceable, these crimes are nonviolent, and everyone currently rifling through houses and dealing drugs out of tents in my town is human. They deserve a chance to get their lives on track.
So, what should be the town’s priority? Fixing the addiction epidemics is a perilously long way away from happening, for reasons that are as polarizing as addiction’s consequences. In the sobering and excellent Dopesick, author Beth Macy goes into painfully exacting detail about opioids’ near-inescapable hold on the human brain. Macy argues that the true way out of this epidemic is “low-barrier treatment,” which includes supportive housing and medical interventions such as safe injection supplies, fentanyl testing strips, buprenorphine access, and supervised consumption sites. All of these options, however, are a tough sell even in a “progressive” town like Eugene, where supervised consumption sites are what NIMBY nightmares are made of, and low-barrier treatment can run up against deeply held moral stigma: Gas is $5 a gallon, and my taxes are going to some junkie?
In the meantime, while some admirably advocate and vote and wait for those breakthroughs, what should we do about the burglaries themselves? Should we pursue more law enforcement, or more compassion toward the burglars? More arrests that allegedly might deter this, or policies that might alleviate income inequality? Does—as approximately 83 percent of the suggestions from my Nextdoor thread contended—every house in town need a tripwire that handcuffs trespassers on sight? Or should all businesses be taxed at 500 percent, and the proceeds used to furnish every fentanyl dealer in town with a nice apartment and mad cash? The debate has degenerated such that these are the sorts of cartoonish positions each side believes they’re fighting—and, in fact, are the only available choices. Just check out Eugene’s Reddit section any day, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
The actual blight on small American towns like mine isn’t property crime. It’s that any tenable solution to it has been swallowed up into a churning abyss of extremism and perceived counterextremism. No one seems to have a convincing answer to the most basic question: So what should we do? What should I do?
Burglaries don’t have to be largely unsolvable, and more property criminals could be apprehended. But while I don’t want those dudes or any of their buddies to come back to my house, I also don’t want them in an American prison, where their “rehabilitation” will consist largely of learning better ways to commit even bigger crimes when they get out, and their options for alternative forms of acquiring money will be even more limited than they are now. Lacking any meaningful restorative justice program for petty thieves in my town (which would, in turn, necessitate locating and apprehending them), I decided my own problems could be solved, for now, with a padlock on my back gate.
And then, not long after the break-in, a Nintendo Switch appeared on my town’s Craigslist. Its included components and color combination were identical to the set stolen from my house. I debated, briefly, bringing my vigilante justice alter ego Super Annoying out of retirement, answering the ad and showing up to shrill my wrongdoers into returning what was mine. But this time, I thought better of it. My life is not worth much, but it’s probably worth more than Mario Kart. I can only hope the console’s new owners enjoy it as much as my daughter did—at least until someone steals it again.

This will be my first time ever openly sharing about my addiction; from the root cause to the effects and struggles that having a porn addiction has impacted my life to this day
So I just recently turned 21 and I'm beginning to look around and realize that for as long as I've acknowledged that I have a problem and need to quit, I keep feeding the addiction KNOWING that it's ruining my life. I'm going to split this post into 3 sections explaining the following stages: The root causes/early development, Progression of my addiction to current day, and Main struggles from my PA and how I go about everyday life to heal. Not exactly sure why I'm posting this but I just feel like it's something I need to let out. Hope someone can relate or give me their take on it.
The root causes/early development: So I believe that my PA manifested due to a few different reasons: Playing "doctor" with my sister as a child, early age porn exposure, and then using porn as a coping mechanism to deal with any negative emotions. So starting w/ "playing doctor", it first happened at a very young age, somewhere between elementary school to 6th grade. I think most people know what that is but to keep it short basically my sister who is a year older than me introduced my to basically role playing as doctor and patient. I wasn't sure if SHE even knew it was wrong but the point is, it happened. I genuinely don't think she was doing in an abusive way but I'll never know. I don't remember the small details of exactly how it happened but what leads me to think this was a factor that contributed to my porn addiction is that I know now as an adult that it's wrong, however as we "played doctor" I only grew to enjoy it and occasionally we took things outside of "playing doctor" - which is why I don't know what to make of it... Long story short it went from "doctor" to us making up our own games like "spy" where we pretended to fight each other as spy's, getting "knocked out" unconscious while she'd touch... and I specifically remember wanting to play these games in hopes that it led to that. But even outside of playing games I grew to wanting to touch her and act on perverted thoughts as a child that were NOT normal for my age or in general. And sometimes I would sneakily act on them - which as I'm reflecting on right now makes me think that me KNOWINGLY trying to be sneaky and act on perverted thoughts at that young of an age had to have carried on with me as I got older (contributing to my porn addiction).. And then the last thing that I vividly remember was when I was probably 10-12 years old is when again we were actually kind of aggressively play fighting, somehow ended up with each other's hands DOWN THERE mutually and we kept going on with each other until she made me.... yeah. And that was the last memory I had of what started out as us "playing doctor". Fast forward to current date since that last memory and we've never spoken about those experiences (more on that later). Going onto the actual exposure of pornography and WATCHING porn, I was exposed to it somewhere in between the same timeframe as when I'd play doctor and the last memory of us playing (somewhere between the ages of 8-12). I can vividly remember the scene that played late at night on the tv that my parents had left on (I shared a room with them). And then moving forward from there, somewhere in between I would find videos on YouTube of this "prank" channel where he'd go up to paid actors, bet that if he beat them in rock paper scissors that they'd have to make out with him. And as a young kid at the time seeing a girl in a bikini making out with a guy as he grabbed on her ass just made me horny and I learned to masturbate from there. And I cant think of a stronger dopamine hit for a 8-12 year old little me at the time than seeing those videos and pleasuring myself. After this, I'd hit middle school where I was bullied a lot, all while lacking social skills necessary to make any genuine friends or deal with the emotional turmoil of being bullied. Fast forward a few months and I think I just progressively began to normalize using porn as a coping mechanism - All the way from whenever I just got mad while dying repetitively on the videogame, to avoiding the fact that I hated my life everyday that I went to school. I'd use porn to receive that "good feeling" whenever I could. And I think my sexual addiction got worse when I began touching myself in the shower almost everyday in middle school to the imagination of the pretty girls that were at my school, even though I had neverarely talked to some of them. It was just a thing for me where every night I took a shower, I closed my eyes and fantasized about doing stuff with them. And then the cycles of me normalizing these things continued and eventually I found out about REAL porn sites.
Progression of my addiction to current day: So shortly after finding the real porn sites I entirely opted to use those as much as possible as the cycle continued. So by my freshman year of high school I was already using porn sites regularly. I remember during summer and winter breaks, sometimes I'd sleep at my grandmas and stay up all night switching from ejaculating to porn, to watching my favorite youtuber and streamers, to going back to jerking off. It was a multiple times a day/night occurrence OFTEN. Sometimes even during the middle of the day I'd pretend to use the bathroom but really I had a porn video pulled up and I watched until I was done. And as time progressed one video didn't exactly cut it for me. I don't think its that I couldn't get off to the first video, but more so that I just had the urge to see more and didn't want to nut yet. I didn't even know if I was purposely edging or not. I did not even understand that edging was a concept yet. Its just something that occurred naturally for me. And during all of this, I am still somewhere in the age range of 13-15. Consistently ejaculating to pornography, further exploring the more basic categories of porn like anal and lesbian. I think a notable memory was one of the first times I watched porn in the middle of work during summer break (extended family owns a construction company so I worked over breaks). It's crazy because in construction all we have are porta-potties that are always hot and nasty and the urge just came over me one day to pretend like I was using the bathroom and get one off before I went back... I don't think I even realized at the time that I had an addiction because this was still early high school. It was just something I looked at as a good feeling and whenever the urges came to me I took any chance I got to fulfill them. Even if I was sharing a room with a family member, I'd be as slow and quit as I could, touch myself under the covers, finish in my underwear and then showechange the next morning like it was normal. Moving forward, this type of behavior continues all the way throughout high school and the feeling of ejaculating just is not as intense as it use to be, so I look up ways to spice it up and I tried shit all the way from sitting on my own hand til it goes sort or numb so it "feels like someone else is touching you", to doing it in more risky places like my backyard outside when I was home alone and had my pants pulled down all the way, to whatever else I could try. Reflecting back, I just look at all these actions as the progressions of a sexual/porn addiction that is still developing. And this is how I rationalize the way I developed a porn addiction. Now it wasn't AWFUL in high school but it was getting bad. I realized that I had actually had a bad addiction that needed to be addressed a few months after graduating high school. From that point forward It was something that I had acknowledged was an issue but nonetheless, continued to do out of habit and as a continued coping mechanism. Whether it was from the lack of relationships, to my current life situation/direction I was headed in, or just any negative emotion - I used porn to release. Sometimes I'd even just do it out of boredom, not even because I had a dying urge to get one off. And then after that point of realization, I sat in "depression" for a few months still going about my everyday life until one day my dad mentioned that I should try therapy. He knew nothing about the addiction but I did let him know I feel depressed and the many struggles that I faced - which I believe is due to my porn addiction. So long story short, I go to therapy for about 3 sessions and end up dropping it because it just wasn't something I felt was helping or enjoyed (more on that later). From there to current day, I've gone at MOST one week periods attempting to quit porn and every time I relapse. From the age of 1 to-current day 21 years old, the progression of the categories of porn that I watch has grown and a few different fetishes like face sitting, femdom, and role play has increased. I don't NEED to watch these specific categories to get off, however these are ones I've found myself most recently watching and edging to, sometimes for 1-3 hours at a time, usually at night on weekends or before I fall asleep. And to take it a step further, I had started pouring money into camgirl sites, phone sex sites, only fans, etc.. I live with my parents still so it's not to the point that I'm broke and have no money, but still what the fuck am I doing putting my hard earned money into a porn addiction... (I'm a functioning adult on a pathway to financial freedom, more on this later).
Main struggles from my PA and how I go about everyday life to heal: So I believe that the main struggles with my porn addiction consist of: the inability/struggle to create and maintain healthy relationships, low self esteem, poor social skills, lack of motivation, and the cognitive dissonance of continuing my addiction to porn even though morally I believe it is wrong to lust over. I believe all of these struggles that come with porn are connected to each other - minus the cognitive dissonance. But everything else kind of stacks on top of each other. So my thought process is that I already dealt w/ low self esteem and confidence from a very young age, and porn just completely enhanced those problems and made it even harder to fix/work on. If you're anything like me and have watched videos on the sciences of porn on your brain, and possible struggles that we deal with, I'm assuming you know how it goes for the most part. I'd say I show symptoms of all effects of being a porn addict, however I've learned to "act normal" to an extent. Like YES I struggle to make friends and hold conversations with people in general but I can make it happen. Sure it'll be a little awkward depending on who I'm speaking to, but I feel like I act normal enough to not be a total outcast and all out weirdo around people. But I just feel like every relationship I have with anyone is extremely surface level or unfulfilling. I feel like as a person I lack so much substance and personality due to the fact that I never really put myself out there and learned social skills when I was coming up. My mindset was molded into something like "keep your head down and stay out the way" in order to avoid conflict. So I never really put myself out there to develop any type of super crazy/interesting personality. I work, play videogames, go to the gym, watch anime. I feel like there's not much else - which might also be a side affect of my porn addiction. Lack of emotion. And I refuse to call it depression. Kind of got red pilled by Andrew Tate Philosophy and it entirely HAS helped me. Maybe it's real, maybe it's not - because when I was fresh out of high school and hyper focused on the bad parts of my life, I felt depressed as shit. Legit like I couldn't do anything to fix it. And the more I identified as "depressed" the more I allowed myself to look for things in my life to confirm that belief. So eventually I went on a self improvement journey and just stopped allowing "depression" to hold power over me. Now I don't believe in it so it's not something that can hold me down in that crippling way. HOWEVER, I DO believe in just being in a shitty situation - which is what I feel like having a porn addiction along with it's effects and symptoms is. It's a shitty situation and I can either allow it to keep ruining my life OR I can get up everyday and attempt to fix it. And I refuse to play the victim card. Sure, I may have been exposed to some fucked up shit at a young age and used porn as a coping mechanism. There is no denying that it happened and that it may have been unfair and out of my control. YES, that's my problem. I may be a victim of pornography but I do not have to ALLOW it to continue to ruin my life. Easier said than done but it's definitely possible and I will not blame my lack of discipline or call it "depression" because I'm unable to quit. The way I see it is, there is a lot of shit that happened to me in the past that I have to come to terms with, and then I must come up with a plan to improve and learn how to be better. For example, struggling to hold eye contact with people, hold basic conversation with people (specifically women), find confidence within myself, become more social, etc... These are all skills that we can practice and learn. Simply by going outside and putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations that allow us to put the reps in. I believe that if I quit porn and start walking up to 10 strangers a day and try having simple conversations with them, in time I can only get better at being social and connecting with people. It's gonna suck and feel like shit at first, but I truly believe that it's a way to improve and get better. As I stand in my current situation I would say I have a lot of work to do but I'm still a functioning addict. I have friendships and relationships with family but they are very lack luster and I long for something deeper and more intimate. I know I'm not ugly and have the ability to pull a good looking girl, shit I've turned down this really pretty girl who always asks to hangout simply due to the fact that I feel like I'm gonna fuck it up and have bad social skills. And its getting to a point where friends and family are wondering why I haven't had a girlfriend in years. Overall its a lack of self esteem, which hinders me from being able to confidently put myself out there as a person who's deserving of love/companionship, which then makes me sort of self isolate and stray away from any type of connection or opportunity to be vulnerable. Which just leads me to feeling like a loser or someone that is undeserving of love because I'm just in a shitty situation. And yeah. Its kind of a self sabotaging cycle because I feel like I understand what's going on but I don't have the discipline and don't put the work in to get better. But that's just my two cents. This post was extremely long and I probably rifted off topic a few times and had my thoughts all over the place, and I still have a lot more I could give input about but this is the jist of everything
If anyone has a support group or needs someone to talk to, 1. I'd like to join the group, or 2. Feel free to message me for any support or conversation.

My name is Emily. I'm from the United States and I wanted to end my 20's with a bang, and I'm happy to say that I ended my 20's in Korea.Actually, Korea was not a country that I had much to do with.Originally, I was a person who was immersed in Japanese culture since college.Japanese anime became my friend. There's a lot of interesting things about Japanese anime, like the fact that they depict real places in Japan, and they depict real food, and so I fell in love with Japan, and I even traveled to Japan a couple times, and I thought that Japan was the sum of everything that I longed for.
But then, in my late 20s, I met a friend who would change my life. It was a simple meeting with a long-lost college classmate, Sarah, who had gone on to work at a large firm in New York City, and whom I had shared anime and Japanese food with in my dorm room in college. She told me honestly that she had recently traveled to Korea and was seriously thinking about moving there. Unfortunately, the large company she worked for in New York had recently gone through a business crisis, and she was laid off.
She said that she was confused by the sudden betrayal of a well-known company, and to clear her mind, she went to the airport with the intention of leaving anywhere. She thought she would go to Japan, but when she arrived at the airport, she changed her mind. When she thought back to the places and restaurants she frequented most often while working at the company in New York, she remembered that she often went to Korean streets and Korean supermarkets in New York, and she thought that going to Korea on an impromptu trip was a really good idea, so she chose to go to Korea rather than Japan, which she already knew.
And buying a plane ticket on the spot at the airport was more than twice as expensive as booking a ticket in advance, but Sarah said that she didn't care, because she was depressed after being fired from her job, and she went to the airport to leave, but the curiosity about Korea that came over her made her want to leave right away, even if she had to pay for the expensive plane ticket.
He expressed that although he went to the airport courageously, he knew that the plane ticket would be too expensive, and he thought that maybe he should just go back home again, but his curiosity about Korea came from somewhere deep inside him, and it exploded like a bomb, and he was naturally drawn to it.
Sarah, who likes emotional things like essays and poems in college and enjoys such poetic expressions, but even so, I wondered if it was a little overdone, but when she said that she had been to Korea, I became more focused on her story.
However, I was able to understand why she expressed herself in such an over-the-top way after listening to her Korean stories.
"Korea is an amazing place, the people are so kind and warm, and most of all, the employment system is very well organized. There are many programs and support for job seekers, which is very helpful for people who are in a difficult situation like me."
When Sarah started with this story, I realized that she was really traumatized by being laid off.Now, she had been through a big ordeal and was in the process of recovering from it through Korea, so I decided to focus more on her story."You said you traveled to Korea, so what else did you do?" I asked."For example, what kind of programs were there?" I asked her.
"I happened to visit a job fair in Korea," she said, "where job seekers can get free career counseling and get the training they need." "I got a lot of help there, and it gave me the strength to get back on my feet, and maybe even get a job in Korea." "And most of all, the work culture in Korea is really family-like," she said, "I was impressed by how much my coworkers cared about each other and supported each other."
Sarah said that she was curious about what Korea was like, so she visited a large convention center in Korea and participated in various fairs, one of which was a job fair, and she interviewed with several Korean companies, and the Korean companies were ready to accept her as a colleague if she applied as an American. I also learned that Korea has many companies with global reach, and they are open to foreigners with various experiences, but in Korea, unless it is a large company, people don't prefer them, so if it is a small company, they want foreigners, but there is a sad reality that no one applies.
Unlike in the U.S., where you have to report your performance every week, and if you fall short, you are threatened with termination, Korean companies are definitely not more performance-oriented than in the U.S. They value their employees and do everything together to grow together, not threaten them with termination. In the past, I knew that corporate culture in Asian countries such as Korea was more collectivistic than individualistic, and as a student, I thought that such a collectivistic culture was a bad culture with a high level of disease in Asia, but after experiencing social life in the United States, I heard that the tendency of companies to be extremely individualistic, talking about job insecurity, and treating people ruthlessly, caused me to be fired from a good job overnight, and the future plans I had planned in advance became uncertain, and I even talked about envying the Korean culture that does not have such disadvantages.
Sarah, who has never worked in Korea, but was always afraid of being fired, said that she learned a lot about Korean corporate culture by interviewing many Korean company officials.
She said that she even considered settling down and living in Korea because, besides the culture, there were so many other conveniences and benefits.
She talked about her experience of working in New York, being left alone in the office to get things done because of her performance, having to leave late at night and being afraid to go home, sleeping in the hotel next door, and having to live with the exorbitant rent in Manhattan and the two-hour round-trip commute to work, and how she realized that unlike in the U.S., where it is difficult to see a doctor, she would not have to worry about these things in Korea.
Sarah's story made me even more curious about Korea.The warmth, systematic system, and various charms that she experienced in Korea couldn't help but have a great impact on me.I've been experiencing a lot of stress every day due to the pressure of performance and the threat of being fired, and I've recently been undergoing expensive psychotherapy.I decided to learn more about Korea, and eventually decided to travel to Korea.
Of course, I didn't travel to Korea with the intention of moving to Korea or settling down in Korea, but rather to spend my last 20s in a new country, Korea, and to see a different world than the familiar Japan.
I made my preparations and headed to Korea sooner than I expected, arriving ten days before my birthday and extending my itinerary beyond what I had originally planned, staying in Korea until after my birthday and then flying back to the United States.
The first day I finally arrived in Korea, I started walking around the streets of Seoul.The first thing that greeted me was the warm spring weather in Korea.The sky was clear and the air was crisp.I was told that it is common for Asia to have very bad air quality in the spring due to the influence of China, but I didn't have to deal with that during my trip.
The streets of Korea are very different from the United States, and everything was new to me.There were many beautiful flowers in bloom, and the well-maintained trees were really beautiful.It has been a long time since the common people's neighborhoods in the United States have such beautiful landscaping because of people who destroy these trees and flowers for no reason, or secretly take them and sell them.But this was not the case in Korea.The streets were like a beautiful flower garden.
I was walking down a beautiful street lined with flowers, and I was looking at them, looking at the big big map that was displayed on the screen at the bus stop.I was just curious to see what my neighborhood looked like, so I was looking at the map and taking my time, and a middle-aged woman came up to me and said, "Where are you looking for?" She didn't speak fluent English, but I was so grateful that she was trying to help. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I was just looking at the map, so I told her one of the destinations I was planning to go to, and she gave me direct directions to the place I was looking for, and I was able to get there without any difficulty.This unexpected kindness opened my eyes to the Korean people and warmed my heart at the same time.
I was ready to accept everything in Korea with an open mind.The first impression was very good, I was touched by the kindness of the people.I couldn't ask for anything more from Korea.The food was so fresh and amazing to me.I visited Gwangjang Market, a famous traditional market in Korea.
Unlike a regular restaurant, it was a place where you could sit down and try a variety of food. As a traditional market, it was full of Korean food. There were no pizza, pasta, or burger joints, but I liked it better that way. It was a place where you could see the traditional look and feel curious about everything.
I also tasted foods such as tteokbokki sundae and hotteok.Everything else was fine, but I was a little worried when I first tried sundae because it looked so strange and a little gross, but I decided to give it a try and the moment I put it in my mouth, the rich flavor filled my mouth.Korean food often seems difficult to eat, but when you try it, you can see why it is so popular in Korea.
I stayed at Gwangjang Market for a long time and tried a lot of different foods, especially kimchi and pajeon, which I still remember because of their crispy texture and spicy flavor. I would recommend them to everyone.Experiencing the deep flavors of Korean food firsthand made me fall in love with Korean food.
And then there was a shocking thing that happened to me in Korea.I was having a lot of fun traveling around Korea and everything was interesting, because Korea is really the best place to be, you know, you're running around, you're busy, you're going from place to place, and I had the misfortune of losing my passport, which was really stupid.
I was traveling in Korea, and I got an international call. Someone was calling me from Korea, and when I saw the international call indicator on my phone and realized that the call was from Korea, I had a million questions.
I thought I shouldn't answer the call, but then I realized that it was an international call, and I thought maybe they were calling me because they had some business to take care of. I answered the call, and I was told a really crazy story, because I heard a calm English voice asking if it was Emily, and she introduced herself as a police officer and asked if I could come to the nearest police station.
I thought I had done something terribly wrong, because I had just eaten delicious tteokbokki and sundae, kimchi and pajeon, and I was so happy to eat them, and afterward I was just walking around the streets of Korea, smelling the flowers and seeing the pretty trees.
I started to check my belongings one by one and realized that my small pouch containing my passport and some of the money I had exchanged was missing.
I quickly headed to the police station, which was where I was told to go, and from the front gate, I was controlled as to what I was visiting.
The great thing about Korea is that even for someone like me who doesn't speak Korean, it's not difficult to navigate these government offices. Not all Koreans speak English, but at least the ones I've met have been able to communicate with me in a simple way. Even if they don't speak perfect sentences, they understand most of the words, so I was able to communicate the reason for my visit to the police station.
I had never been to a police station before, even in the U.S., but here I was in Korea, and I was greeted by friendly people.The pouch with my passport in it had my contact information written on the inside, and they said they would contact me with that.The bag was found in a marketplace, and the first person to report it was the stall owner of the place where I had my first sundae.It also had all of my clean, new Korean money in it, which I had exchanged separately.
I was so impressed with how conscientious Koreans are and how good they are that I was able to find the pouch, sign the paperwork, and walk out of the police station.
I went back to Gwangjang Market, and when I got there, the owner recognized me and looked like he was about to say something. I held out the bag and showed it to him, and he smiled and liked it.
I thanked the Korean boss, and we ate another snack on the spot. It was an experience that made me realize how heavenly Korea is.
And like Sarah said, I didn't just want to see how clean and pretty Korea is, I wanted to see what an American working in Korea could do and what life would be like.Through the Reddit community, I was able to get in touch with Americans working in Korea and even met some of them in person.
David, the American I met, works for a company that is not a large Korean company, but rather a small or medium-sized company. As Sarah said, Korea is a country where products are produced for the global market, and many things are actually exported overseas.
However, in Korea, unless it is a large company, every company is experiencing a job shortage, and because of the atmosphere in Korea, where foreigners are not welcome at all, it is not difficult to get a job in a company that specializes in exporting overseas, even if you are in the United States.
And David told me that he put all his passion into the first company he worked for in the U.S., and even made a lot of money for the company, but when he didn't perform, the company fired him without mercy, and he said that he was so shocked, not to mention the feeling of betrayal, that he took depression medication at that time, and it was so hard that he took depression medication, and then he found Korea by chance and settled in Korea, and now he is so happy. He told me that he was fired from his job because of the unrelenting treatment in the U.S., that he found a second chance in Korea, and that he is happy with his life here.
I'm not sure I have the courage to move to Korea right now, but I learned that there are a lot of people like Sarah and David who have been hurt so badly that they end up leaving the country. I'm scared that this could be my future, but I also learned that Korea is an option for me if it happens to me.My trip ended like this: experiencing the culture, food, and hospitality of Korea, and getting to meet and talk to Americans living in Korea, made my trip much more rewarding than my trip to Japan, which could have been an anime trip.
Korea has given me new perspectives and experiences, shattered my notion that Japan is only good, broadened my horizons, and opened my eyes to another gem that is Korea.
I now like to say to my friends, "Go to Korea, you'll see how good it is." Korea has taught me so much, and I will cherish my experience in Korea, which now holds a special place in my heart.
If Sarah goes to Korea and settles down, I will be there to congratulate her and support her in her new relationship in Korea.

i stopped at a wendy's to grab a quick bite to eat, my music was on shuffle. as i started to relay my order (baconator combo, large fry, iced tea) i guess the guy taking my order heard Drake - Trophies in the background, and cut me off. he started monologuing, telling me that he's been the fakest pushed industry plant since the start.
i tried to awkardly just agree and say yeah he definitely didn't "start from the bottom", he continued, saying Kendrick killed his whole family and stated he's gonna die so just know its literally over. It's beyond rap. It always was. This is the culture v the industry. The industry fabricates.I can cross the street right now and a gang of niggaz gonna be outside talking about "cant wait to catch drake fans slippin". Imagine if they get the chance to catch Drake?
i realized that there were cars starting to line up behind me, since i was still just at the spot to place an order. when i told him that he's right, which really was just in hopes of him to let me finish my order, he started yapping again.
he more or less said Drake is NOT the culture he is an industry brand and marketing campaign. Do you think he chose himself to do all those international features and feature with young artists? No, he has a label and that's the workings on his label to keep him relevant. His identity has changed so many times he doesnt even know who he is and this has been apparent for years before Kendrick ripped him last night.
The fact that you even take a stance shows you know nothing. Come to the hood and talk about how you know about our culture and about how a Jewish Canadian disrespecting and appropriating an american culture behind the guise of an industry rapper. Most of you all in here dont spin the block, dont rap, dont bang, and dont involve yourselves so dont involve yourself now. You sit back listen, shut your mouth, and pay respects. Get that fake industry jew shit the fuck outta here.
at this point i had rolled up my window a bit and was just really at a lost for words. he kept going, saying Kendrick has a lot of reasons to hate Drake but if you've been tracking his moves since Damn and are in deep with rumors about XXX there are a lot of weird things linking it back to a Drake hit that got XXX in Florida in 2018. Kendrick bowed out the public eye for years around this time on self imposed exile and spent 2 years with writers block. Kendrick was tight with XXX and saw him as the future. One of the only artists Kendrick has ever endorsed like that. The night before XXX died he posted an Instagram story "If I die it was Drake". I think if Kendrick drops again, that Instagram story is gonna be the cover. before he could continue, i fully rolled up my window and was looking for an exit method.
im gonna be honest. i drove over the curb of the drive thru and fucked up some of the plants and grass they had. my undercarriage definitely got scratched up and shit but i think i made the right choice. im just going to uber eats some mcdonalds at this point.
has anyone had a similar experience?

I'll start by saying that I'm not going to talk about Ron's lines or moments being given to other characters because you already know about that. For myself, I love the Trio and one of the most important things that the new series has to take into account is that the characterisation of the Trio must be canonically accurate. Characterisation is important to me especially when it concerns the main three characters.
In the movies, I was always disappointed at the portrayal of Ron. There are people who would say they don't really see the difference to which I reply that means you don't really know Ron or you have already formulated an idea of who he is and just ran with it. Here are just some examples to point out how the movies depicted Ron.

1. Ron dealing with fears

Ron is a Weasley. In COS when confronted by the spiders, Ron responds with two ways, uncomfortable silence or trying to calm himself internally followed by a fierce response. This is seen in COS up until DH when Harry absentmindedly tried to enlarge a spider only for Ron to retort and tell him to stop it.
Ron DOESN'T whimper like a fool, stammer like an idiot or do some stupid panicky face. It's just not in his Weasley blood to do so. Even when confronted by the Horcrux, Ron was terrified but it is more a silent, internal fear that freezes you rather than screaming on the ground. Again after destroying the Horcrux, Harry is relieved that Ron did not throw off his arm which can be a Ron response after dealing with a fear.

1. Ron's personality

As mentioned above, Ron's personality took a nosedive in the movies. You get some scaredy-cat boy who is fearful of Sirius Black instead of the boy who was in pain yet still told off Sirius Black. Ron's outburst in class from blasting Snape to throwing stuff at Draco were all shoved aside. In OOTP, Ron is seen screaming like a fool after being blasted back in a duel with Hermione (again the whole I go easy on you is not Ron who knows just how powerful Hermione is). In the books, you see them bickering with Ron refusing to give Hermione an inch and vice versa. Ron's aggresive personality is very much Weasley-like as you can see the same thing in Ginny, Fred, George etc. Personally, I laugh whenever a fanfic has Ron as a bully magnet like Ron would allow himself to be bullied.
3 Ron's comic relief
From Uranus to "really breaking your leg", from describing the examiner's face to "hunting down Voldemort in a mobile library", Ron's range of humour typically remains the same. Like Harry, he is snarky and sarcastic. He uses humour to deal and his humour is what makes Harry laugh. Instead of that scared, silly face, Ron as a source of comic relief comes through his remarks and his personality.
There's so much more I could talk about but I'll leave it here for now. I'm just praying that whoever is in charge of the new series, please, please, please read the books and truly understand the character from the character's perspective and not what you want him to be. Ron definitely has flaws so put it in but don't change him into something else entirely.
I bet my hat that if Ron was depicted as he was in the books, you can pretty much guarantee there would be a few people who would be shocked as to see the differences between movie Ron and tv series Ron.

So I'm a male 24 and my gf is 23. And we've been having issues with my venting when I come home from work. Weve been together for 4 years and both have jobs, shes working at a raleys ONE as a sandwich artisan which she really enjoys and has been making good money from. I'm working as a low voltage technician, like ethernet cable and cameras n stuff. I got a job with this low voltage company starting at $20 an hour about 8 months ago. In that time I started from a normal technician to eventually earning $25 an hour for becoming the lead technician for the crew. It's a small company so that amount of pay increase in such a short time was absolutely amazing, but caused so much more work load on myself. I went from being the youngest guy asking my crew lead for what to do next, to now having the exact same guys ask me what to do next.(also had 4 years high voltage experience which explains that jump)
Anyways, this new work load is tremendous and unlike anything I've ever experienced. A few months ago I started this big warehouse job that ended up taking 3 months to finish, horrible. And during those last months I came home from work, and as usual my girlfriend asked how my day and work was, and I responded telling her how exhausting and annoying this job has been going, giving her detail to some situations and what's exactly bugging me. I then did this a few more times as the weeks went on, and as the story's and issues at my work progressed and things happened, i would vent and update her on the situations. She eventually told me she was tired of me venting every day about the same issues and stuff. She explained that hearing the complaints every day is exhausting for her which I understand. It did upset me a little bit, but I understood that it could become annoying when you're also just trying to relax from your day off work, so I stopped telling her about my shitty days. We would come home and ask each other how the day was and we would pretty much both say "ah yeah it was pretty shitty" and that was that, and continue to relax and spend the rest of the night together.
Now present day, its a Wednesday and I started up this current new warehouse installation. Installing all of their low voltage stuff, cameras, APs, door card access, fiber optic etc. This warehouse and job overview was almost on par with the 3 month job i mentioned earlier... my bosses called this job an "ambitious two weeks". Fucking ambitious my ass dude that's so much wiring and integration that can take easily months if anything goes wrong, twos weeks is more than ambitious and it's a 3 man crew. Again, we started on Monday and now it's Wednesday, this whole week my girlfriend hasn't even asked how my days been when I've gotten home. Today she had the day off so when I got home around 6pm we started talked about our days. I started the convo and began venting about how so far this week I've been given a very difficult job with an unreasonable deadline. I talk for not even 5 minutes about my stresses, and she begins to tell me that I shouldn't be unloading this stuff on her. She even eventually says that she's not my therapist, and that if I want to vent about that stuff day and day, over and over that I should talk to a therapist. I tried to explain that she is my girlfriend, I WANT to be able to tell her about what's going on at my work and my life, especially since it takes up so much of my energy and time every day. She shut down and went to the bedroom where I just sat here I'm the living room looking at the computer screen for a while, and then eventually she came back out and showed me some reddit thread about a women who's coming home and venting to her husband every day for around 10 minutes about her horrible boss. And a lot of the comments are supporting the husband saying you shouldn't come home and put those stresses onto your partner, which I can completely understand that. She was going through all the comments and gave me her phone to see how everyone agreed you shouldnt vent about you work. That's why earlier i had completely stopped telling my girlfriend about any issues or stresses at work, I tried to leave it at work which was genuinely impossible since I was now in charge of material pickup and designation, which is what I was being paid to plan for and it required planning and a genuine give a shit outside of work to make sure the money flows for the business.
I just feel like she doesn't understand that me venting today about how shitty work is, is my way of saying that im stressed out and struggling and im feeling like shit. And it made it so much worse when just recently after all the stuff before, she just walked out saying she was going to the store to get beer and will be back in 3 hours. All because again I wanted to tell her about how stressed I've been so far this week when I got home from work and that I have this 2 week unreasonable deadline, and now I feel even more shitty about talking to my closest person about my stresses at work? It just doesn't make sense to me, if she is struggling and having a problem with something, she has never had a problem talking hours about how bad she's feeling. Why can I not even acknowledge the normal feelings of validly being overwhelmed and stressed with my new job position.
Well Idk AITA for this?

Ah, to be royalty. As the only princess, you have not a care in the world. You aren’t quite the queen yet. But your parents are planning on having another child. So, to seal your spot as next in line, you personally volunteer to take care of the kingdom’s greatest enemy. A half dragon with strange technology. Weird metal stuff. Parts of her are metal. I am said half dragon. Recently, someone reported seeing me talk to a large ice dragon, known as he who made the north. The king of ice dragons, and one of few gifted the ability to take a more human shape. You stand watch near where I was apparently seen. At around midnight, you see me coming from the direction of the kingdom and the ice dragon from the other direction. You can’t understand him, but you can understand me. It sounds like he wants me to go to the school of magic in your kingdom. The last thing I say before turning around is “Fine, dad. I’ll do it. But only because you and mom aren’t teaching me anything.” And after that I turn around and head back to the kingdom. You decide to join the school of magic as well, just to get closer to me.

I think there’s something off about my campus
Hey everyone, I’m typing this on my phone so I apologize if there is weird formatting. Anyways, to get to the point, there’s something really off with some people on my campus. I have come seeking answers.I noticed it first walking home from my 7pm class last Wednesday.
To set the scene, most of the campus is tucked back into the woods a little, and my 7pm class is in the farthest building from the parking lot (further into the woods). I get out from that 7pm class around 9pm, so on cloudy nights like last Wednesday, the only lights on that long sidewalk are the lights radiating from the other buildings. Usually, there’s roughly 30 feet where it’s pitch black because the foliage is pretty dense. I usually walk back to my apartment with some classmates that live in the same complex as me, but I told them to go ahead of me while I finished the rest of the project.
After packing my laptop away, I started heading back home. It was roughly 9:30 at this point, and my brain was slowly shutting down preparing for the deep sleep that has yet to come.Walking down the sidewalk, I heard somebody not too far into the woods laughing like they’ve just heard the funniest joke ever. I immediately thought, “probably some Freshman walking the trails with their friends smoking weed”. Chuckling to myself, I put in my AirPods and picked a playlist for my journey back home.
When I looked up from my phone, there was the silhouette of somebody walking towards me. I have no idea how I missed them before, but honestly, it’s very possible they were just in a spot where the light wasn’t quite reaching them. A little unnerved, I shifted over to the left side of the sidewalk.
(Now I’m usually fine walking alone at night; I’m a 6’2 man who’s dabbled in the world of MMA. But something about this person gave me a primal feeling of unrest.)
When they shifted over to the left mirroring me, I felt my blood run cold. But alas, I had to keep walking because this was my only way back home. As I neared closer to the figure, I almost laughed at myself when I realized it was just some harmless girl walking towards the Murphy building. If anything, I’m the intimidating one to her.
This is where it really gets weird. She stopped as I was passing her and turned to me. Thinking she needed to ask me something, I took an AirPod out and asked “what’s up?”. After staring at me for an uncomfortable amount of time, she opened her mouth, and I kid you not, mimicked the laugh I heard moments before perfectly. Before I could chalk it up to it just being her in the trails earlier, I noticed something. Her mouth wasn’t moving at all. If I had left my AirPods in, it would just look like she was just opening her mouth and staring at me. She then shifted into a deep raspy laugh. She did all of this without moving her mouth at all; I couldn’t even see her throat moving as you would expect if someone was laughing. It was almost like she was some fucked up human-shaped gramophone. The feeling of absolute horror that came over me is something I’ve only experienced in my imagination. Before I could think to do anything next, My body began to run off some sort of primal instinct. With my legs burning, it took me about 10 minutes to get all the way back to my apartment and lock myself in relative safety.
I’m coming on here now to ask if anybody knows what I experienced? I have been hearing that same laughter outside my window every night since that night, I am too terrified to sleep well and have refused to go to any of my classes. Please I just want answers, I don’t want to keep living in fear.
Part 2:
Hey everyone, I’ve gotten some DMs telling me what it may be. I’ve heard everything from banshee to skinwalker. After further research I pray to god it was neither of them. I’m praying it was just some girl with a speaker playing some sort of cruel joke. I mean yes there are people who don’t like me on campus, I’ve made some enemies over the past 4 years. But, I just don’t understand what could’ve brought it to this point. I had to stop hiding in fear and go to my classes before my grades plummet, I’m almost done with my degree and only have a few more weeks. If I let some sort of stupid prank ruin my career, It would be everything I swore against to my parents.
A lot of you guys in the DMs were also asking what college I go to and what my name is. First I want to say sorry for not providing that information in the first post, I’m sure you can understand where my head was at typing that. So let me introduce myself, my name is Nick and In order to keep my privacy, I will only provide that I go to a midwest university.
I’m sure you may be wondering, “so did it just stop?”. I would love to say yes, but really things have just gotten weirder. Though, I am pleased to say that there is no longer laughing out my window every night.
Ever since that night, I’ve been noticing more things off with the people on campus. Now you may just think it’s paranoia, but just be patient and listen.
Yesterday, I decided to muster up all of my courage and go to class. Luckily my first class is at 10AM, when the sun is well in the sky, so walking across campus seemed much less threatening. When I sat down in my first class, I noticed something off with the girl that sits in front of me. Usually she’s chatty and excited to be in class, but today she just stared blankly ahead. I tried to say good morning and ask about her weekend, as we do every Monday, but she continued to have that blank stare. She did turn her head towards be, but her eyes read “lights on, but nobody is home”.
Thinking to myself, she may just be hungover, or going through the bout of college student depression. I decided to shrug it off and turn to the front of the class and get my notes ready. But the moment I turned around, I could feel it. Her eyes burrowing deep into the back of my head. When I flipped around to see if I was just being irrational, I quickly learned I wasn’t. Her eyes went from the blank glare, to the most enthusiastic face I’ve seen on her. It was horrible, it almost seemed like she was trying so hard to pretend she was thrilled to be in class and to speak to me. It was inhuman.
I’ve been on the internet long enough to catch on to the term “Uncanny valley”, and what I witnessed In my first hour gives me that same gut feeling I got when I saw that girl last Wednesday.
I was right to be uncomfortable though, I texted her after class to make sure she was doing alright. But her response only reignited the flames of deep fear burning in my soul.
I’ll copy and paste the messages here:
Me: Hey Is everything good? You seemed off in class today.
Steph SCI 101: Uh yeah, I’m fine. but I was not in class today, I’m severely hungover from Tanner’s party last night.
Me: Haha, good one.
Steph SCI 101: No I’m so Fr, are you okay?
Steph SCI 101: Are you trying to fuck with me or something?
Me: Nevermind, I’m sorry to bother you.
(End Of Texts)
Okay so I’m sure that this gives you all the same feeling of dread that it gave me but I’m sure scaled down a bit. This is where I have started to doubt that it’s a prank, because me and Stephanie are cool. There’s no level of hate for either of us, and even if it was some joke, we don’t know each other on that type of level.
Not only did this seem to happen in my first class, but in between classes while I was walking across campus as well. I walk past hundreds of faces in my many treks across campus, and I swear to you, at least 1/4th of the people I walked past had that same dead stare look. And the way they walked, god I hate even thinking of it. It was like they were an alien trying out their new body suits for the first time. The steps and the bends of their legs just seem so meticulous, dramaticized, and puppeteered.
I’m going to try to investigate further, because at this point my fear for my life is more of a reason to try and figure out what it is so I can try to stop it.
I’m no hero, and I’m sure as hell nothing special, but If I can know what to expect for another encounter, maybe I can avoid meeting the demise I have imagined.
Part 3

First off I would like to apologize for my 20-day hiatus. For those who were worried that curiosity killed the cat so to speak, I appreciate your concern. On top of my investigation, I have also had to go through finals and work for a boss who didn't believe in life outside of work. So let's start where we left off. I had a feeling that this task was left for me to solve. it may sound stupid, but let me explain why. That night, after my last post, I had a dream that further solidified my need to solve the mystery. I tried to write all that I remembered down the morning after so here is what I wrote. 

April 4th, 2024
I had a strange dream last night, stranger than usual at least. I awoke in the woods, laying face down in the grass with someone looming over me. I heard their footsteps flee rapidly before I flipped over. I found myself just off the trail where the “incident” happened, on the trail laid a girl, bloodied and motionless. When I got up to approach her, she was quickly dragged into the parallel section of the woods. Seeing this I turned and ran into the section of woods I was in. When my legs gave out I found myself near an old supply shed, worn and long abandoned. Searching for cover, I tried the door, which luckily gave after a quick pull. There I found a trapdoor which emanated a blue hue through the cracks. The only thought on my mind, survival brought me to throw it open and climb down. I clattered down the ladder and right before my feet touched the ground, I was pulled backwards by my shirt. That’s where I woke up.
I have always trusted my gut and having a dream that vivid gave me a sense of courage I did not previously have. I know where to start my search now. I have decided my best course of action will be to record my findings on a tape recorder app. After I finish each entry it will be uploaded to a cloud that will ensure if anything happens to me, the story will get out. I am packing my backpack now with a flashlight, glow sticks to mark my trail, and a machete I was gifted by a local in Mexico. All of my recordings will be uploaded below and auto posted after 10 days. Wish me luck everyone, I’m going to need it.
Entry 1: I have started at the only place that makes sense, the trail. It is currently 1:45 PM and I have plenty of sun left in the sky. I just needed to find exactly where to start my journey into the woods. Strangely it was very easy to find. I recall one of the trees having a funky twist near the middle of the trunk. Probably just some two lovebirds trying to carve their name into the tree and realizing there were softer trees to carve into. Anyways hiking further into the woods I believe I can see the shape of the shed through the branches. I wish you guys could see how dense these trees are so you can understand my struggle.
Entry 2: I made it to the shed, but unfortunately the floor in here is concrete. This really sucks for me because I have absolutely no idea where to go from here. It’s identical on the outside but I just don’t understand. Maybe I’m just delusional, which in that case what a waste of time and energy. I’m going to head back home and just start packing for summer. Maybe it’ll be best if I just forget about all of this and leave it behind me. I am graduating after all. Wait hold on what is this?? there’s a button behind one of these shelves. I am going to press it, but idk how it would work because this floor is seamless. I’m just going to leave this recording so if anything does happen I don’t have to worry about holding the phone the whole time. Holy shit, the entire floor is lowering. It’s a fucking elevator.
Entry 3: Okay so I’ve been going down this elevator for like 30 seconds, how far down am I going?.. Oh wait hold on, Im stopped… There’s a metal door with a padlock. Ig since I have the machete there’s only one thing to do, break it. Im going to use the blunt side so I don’t ruin this thing, I like it too much. the lock clatters to the ground after 3 solid hits. Well ig there’s only one way to go now, there’s no button to get back up so I pray there’s another way up. The metal door creaks loudly. Fuck I regret this, It’s dark and I can tell it’s a big area because it’s so echoey in here. I’m currently praising my past self for thinking about the flashlight and glow sticks. I need to find out what in the hell this place is and most importantly, if there’s a damn light switch.
Entry 4: God this place is terrifying I’ve been walking around the sterile white halls of this place for like 10 minutes and have found nothing, no doors, no light switch. I feel like a rat in a maze. Also scratch what I said about being glad I packed glow sticks, because my stupid ass only brought like 20 of these things and I’m already down to 5. Also I feel like I’m not alone, every now and then I’ll turn a corner and the glow from the previous glow stick quickly vanishes. I feel like it might just be because the darkness seems to envelop everything like a blanket. But I have that feeling that I’m being followed. You know the one, where you know somethings wrong you just can’t pin point what it is. Oh shit no way, there’s light, I think there’s a door or something up ahead.
Entry 5: Holy shit… It’s a lab, and worse, there’s people strapped too tables, completely naked and unconscious. I know they are alive because each of them are hooked up with a million different cords, and one of those are plugged into a heart monitor. This place is huge, there has to be at least 50 people on these tables.
“Hey you, you’re not supposed to be in here” yelled a man adorned in a lab coat.
“What are you doing to these kids you sick fucks.” I yelled back at the man across the lab.
In a haste the scientist rushes towards a red button, setting off a loud alarm, turning the lights to a flashing red. With no exit behind me, I could only do one thing... Rush towards him. My training kicked in as I launched into a flurry of calculated strikes. My first hit connected, a right overhand clean under his eye. The doctor stumbled back, but I didn't give him a chance to recover. I pressed the attack, keeping him off balance with a relentless barrage of punches and kicks. He fought back ferociously, but I was one step ahead, anticipating his moves and countering with swift, efficient strikes. We wrestled, the room around us becoming a blur of pain and adrenaline. I used the environment to my advantage, improvising weapons from the scattered medical equipment and turning the empty tables on my opponent. Pinning him to the ground, I laid down a harsh barrage of final blows. His face was a bloody pulp, unrecognizable. But I didn’t walk away unscathed, somewhere in the tussle, the scientist buried a scalpel deep into my stomach. With my adrenaline wearing off, the pain overtook me, sending me into darkness as I fainted from the blood loss and adrenaline dump. I awoke with my arms and legs strapped to the cold metal operating table. Before I could try to struggle, a face overtook my field of vision.
“Quite a fight you put up, you turned poor Dr.Samson into a soup” the looming face said with a chuckle. “You are the first person to put the pieces together and for that I am thoroughly impressed Mr. Hayes”
“Who are you?!” I said fighting at my binds. “Let me go!”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that Mr.Hayes. You have seen far too much, and I definitely can’t have you running around telling the world what you saw here. Although nobody would believe you.” “And to answer your other question, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me… really take a moment and look at me” He said pulling down his face mask.
“Dr.Blackwood?” I said as I looked back on my freshman year biology class.
“Ding ding ding ding. We have a winner!” He said in a maniac joy.
“What are you going to do to me?” I asked.
“Well Mr.Hayes, first I’m going to sew you up from your little tussle you had with my late assistant and then I will put you under and cut into that skull of yours and take out a small piece of what we call in the science world your hippocampus. Then I will draw from that all of the necessary memories to create the perfect clone of you.” He responded.
“Why? Why would you need a clone of any of us. Why can’t you just clone someone willing to be apart of this?” I asked
“Because that’s no fun Mr.Hayes, the hunt excites me. Actually you’re lucky I didn’t get you the first night. Unfortunately my creation had a little bit of a malfunction and formed a wee bit of an attachment to you. I’m sure you remember the ruckus outside your window? Anyways I digress, I do this because everyone of you lowly students will go onto do mediocre jobs where you waste away at a desk. I must also add that with having a clone of you under my control, I can do anything and get away with clean hands. My plan with you originally was to have you go into the admissions office and steal every last cent all for me. On top of that I like the power, because one day I will have a clone of every student on this campus and eventually I will cause a revolt against our comedy of a government. Who will stop me, when I won’t even be on the front lines?” Dr.Blackwood explained.
“I will” I said freeing my last hand from the binds.
What he didn’t realize is that with all of this monologue and the questions I had been feeding him, I was slowly loosening my binds with each wiggle and movement in retaliation.
Lurching forward I grab onto his collar, pulling him into a vicious headbutt. The impact sent Dr. Blackwood reeling backward, his grip on consciousness loosening as he staggered. Seizing the moment, I lunged off the table, adrenaline coursing through my veins despite the searing pain in my abdomen. With a swift motion, I grabbed a nearby surgical instrument, holding it in a defensive stance as I faced my adversary. Dr. Blackwood, recovering from the blow, snarled with rage, his once calm demeanor now replaced by a feral intensity. The room seemed to shrink around us, the tension thickening with each passing second. This was my chance to stop Blackwood's twisted plans. As he lunged forward, I met his attack head-on, the clang of metal reverberating through the room. Blow after blow, we fought with an intensity born of desperation and determination. Despite my injuries, I refused to yield, driven by a fire burnt under me to protect myself and others from Blackwood's actions . In a final, swift move, I delivered a powerful front kick, sending Blackwood crashing to the ground. The room fell silent, the echoes of our struggle fading into the darkness. Coughing he sat in the corner laughing with blood spilling down his face. “You know that it’s too late to save any of these one lying on the tables. I would’ve released you, you know that right? I would’ve simply taken your memory from today out of your brain and leaving you in your bed to wake up thinking you had a fun night” he said with final resolve as he watched me grab the scalpel from the ground taking slow steps near him.
Looking down over him, It was my turn to laugh. Kneeling down to eye level with him I grabbed him by his hair and delivered a final message to him “Fuck you and your little science experiment” as I sliced deep into his throat watching the life fade from his eyes.
I eventually found an exit door, which lead me to a storm drain deep in the woods far from my campus. It took me 2 hours to limp my way onto a main road and flag down a passing car. Pulling over I was rushed to the hospital and later interrogated by some men in suits, my guess is CIA. Here I am now, writing my final entrance. I think I heard them say something about trying a new medical process on me to help me heal quicker