Had a bad zit near my lip before a second date, and it's the kind that bleeds if you touch it—usually, I get them on my back, not my face. Asked the forum how you'd feel if the roles were reversed. Some shrugged it off, calling me a wimp, but honestly, it grosses me out. This thing is going to be damp with blood especially applying pressure and rubbing faces etc.
I’ve pushed through dates with similar issues before, but this time I postponed it, claiming a busy work schedule. We rescheduled, and after explaining the situation over the phone, we shared a good laugh and some flirty texts followed.
Just a reminder: it’s okay to delay dates if you feel it might affect the attraction. It’s not about me; it’s about not turning off my date when we’re inches apart.
And for those rare zit occurrences, a good patch helps, but it’s still a few days' wait. To those saying to just let it bleed and be confident—how about sharing your worst acne pics? Let’s roast each other in the comments and see who can relate!

my boss enlists me in hiding his multiple affairs from his wife
Originally posted to Ask A Manager
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, abuse of authority
Original Post Jan 30, 2017
My boss is having multiple affairs. I am his assistant, so I know about all his visitors and his schedule. He is married, but he often has visits from two different women, and he outright told me to never tell his wife about them. When either of them visit, he locks his door and tells me he is not to be disturbed. This happens almost weekly.
He sometimes asks me to book local hotel rooms for an hour or an afternoon, and he sometimes buys jewelry and flowers for the two women he sees regularly. I know this because he sends me out to pick up the jewelry (which I later see them wearing) or asks me to have the flowers sent to them. He never does anything like this for his wife. One of the women just had a baby who is named after my boss and has his surname.
One time, his wife showed up for a surprise visit to take him out to lunch, and he directed me to lie that the woman who was in his office was there for a job interview. He also submits expenses from his business trips (where he has traveled alone) and I have to re-calculate everything because he has upgraded the company-provided hotel room to a better one on his personal credit card and bought breakfast for more than one person the next morning. When this happens, he tells me he had “company.” There was also an incident where he came to work panicked because he said he accidentally used his company credit card at a strip club. He sent me to retrieve it and pay his tab with cash, but the address he sent me to was actually a massage parlor.
Normally I honestly don’t care what people do in their own private lives, but I hate that I’m part of his lies to his wife. She is a nice person and she is dealing with a heart condition that just required surgery. I know they don’t have an open relationship because my boss lies to her and also directs me to lie to her about his actions. He says she can never know. I get sick whenever I think about what he is doing. I know a way I can out him to his wife anonymously. Do you think I should let her know, or is this none of my business and I need to stay out of it?
Update March 9, 2017
Two days after you published my letter, my boss was served with divorce papers here at work. His wife publicly outed his affairs, and she sent copies of emails and text messages sent between him and the two women he was having affairs with, as well as one of the escorts he was seeing regularly, to some people here at our office (including me), his relatives, and some of their friends. She also sent these to the two women and the escort, and some of their relatives and colleagues at work. The texts and emails prove that all three of them not only knew he was married but that he was seeing other women besides each one of them. They also include his acknowledgement he fathered a child outside of his marriage and evidence he used funds from the joint account and his wife’s pay to spend money on them, as well as for the random women he cheated with when he was out of town on business.
His wife has filed alienation of affection lawsuits against the two women and the escort he was cheating with regularly. All of three of them kept calling and coming to see him here at work to confront him after they were outed to people and served with the lawsuit papers, and I heard them talking (sometimes yelling) about it each time and him saying his wife moved out the day he was served with divorce papers and he has no way to contact except through her lawyer (hey have no children and apparently she has cut all contact).
I played dumb the entire time and no one, including his wife, has accused me of knowing anything or asked me if I did.
Before all of this happened, after reading your response and the responses in the comments, I decided to seriously start looking for another job. The same week my letter was published, there was an opening inside my company for a receptionist in a different division. The company usually posts jobs internally before they look externally, and since I’m classified as admin and the posting is for an administrative position, I didn’t have to apply and could just put in for a transfer.
They gave it to me, and I have been in my new job for two weeks now. I love it so far. I spend all day on the phone with people or talking with people who have come in to see or meet with my colleagues. The division has over 100 people, so while I have a screen where I can search for people by name and receive memos and things through email, I don’t have a computer that I am stuck staring at for hours a day. It’s definitely not for everyone but I love dealing with people all day and having no other responsibilities or a mountain of tasks or paperwork to do. My new colleagues have been welcoming and while everyone is talking about what is going on with my boss, no one has brought me into the drama and it only gets talked about around me the same as it would any other person. I don’t engage in any gossip and I certainly don’t talk about what I know, even though no one has asked.
I now have set hours, don’t ever have to work outside of those hours (no overtime or weekends or holidays) and no company cell phone. Since all my work involves dealing with people during working hours at work, I couldn’t do work at home even if I wanted to. Work is now separate from home, and overall I am much more relaxed because I have a clear line between working and not working and I don’t have to deal with my boss and his drama any more.
Thank you for your response to my question and to all the people who were supportive in the comments. I felt better knowing my feelings were valid and I wasn’t overreacting or wrong to be upset.
(Also there was some speculation in the comments about whether my boss could be engaging in some kind of embezzlement or falsifying because he had me separating expenses. There was nothing like that going on. The company has a policy where they will reimburse business expenses put on personal debit or credit cards. Non-work expenses are not allowed to be on company cards. So if the company paid for a hotel room when my boss traveled on business and he upgraded to a better room, the company would only reimburse or pay the original room price and he would have to pay for the rest of the upgrade. I would separate personal and work expenses before submitting them. This is in line with the company handbook and everyone always does it this way. There were no issues with him or me because of it. As for him using the company credit card at the massage parlor, they are legal where we are and since he had the charges reversed the same day and submitted proof of the reversal, the company never had an issue because he followed policy and hadn’t used the card for anything illegal.)
Final Update Oct 20, 2017
My former boss was fired. His wife outed a fourth woman for sleeping with him, same as the others. She works here. Having an affair with a subordinate and the multiple yelling matches with the other three women here at the office was enough to get him fired. The fourth woman was married (unlike the other three) and her husband filed for divorce after she was outed. She took job somewhere else but left amicably and was not fired like my former boss was. At least two of the women his wife was suing are settling with her to avoid it going to trial. The yelling matches he was having made it clear she wasn’t using the lawsuits as a bargaining chip and would not drop them in exchange for stuff from him.
Now that both he and the woman from here that he was having an affair with are gone, things have calmed down. No one has mentioned the affair in weeks and everything here is boring again. I don’t mind the lack of gossip and am still enjoying my new job and great colleagues. I got a small bonus at my yearly review because my boss was so happy with my work. I love my new colleagues and they have been nothing but welcoming to me.
(Also there was speculation in the comments in my first update about whether his wife outed the escort for her affair or being an escort. The answer is both. I don’t agree with her actions but I empathize with how much pain the affairs have caused her.)
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Grabbed a bnib sealed Motorola edge 3023 from a seller who got one as an upgrade from telus on kijjiji. This device is very impressive for the price. Voice over LTE, WiFi calling and 5g all works fine on the freedom network. Tested them all day today. At only 68 grams, 72 mm wide and having a vegan non slippery back, this device is a delight to use one handed. Yet it had a gigantic 6.6 inches 144 hz bright OLED display. I love the curved screen and using a UV tempered glass screen protector helps in protection from shatters. This phone is also ip68 dust and water resistant and also has a whopping 256 GB storage. The cameras are pretty good and looks even better after installing the gcam app. The battery life is pretty good and easily lasts all day, but the real star of the show is the 68 watt charging which can charge the entire phone in 25 minutes without getting too hot. Phone also has 16 watt wireless charging and reverse wireless charging. The dual stereo speakers are tuned by Dolby atmos and gets quite loud and punchy. Density 7030 is a fast mid range chip and with 8 GB ram the phone runs snappy. The only downside is that it's running android 14 and would receive android 14 later this year and 15 next year (not much difference between a13 and 14). But the security patches are pretty consistent (am on March security patch now). Overall a superb phone for the price and I would definitely recommend it to anyone on freedom network. 👍

Hi all,
I'm brand new to learning about ISRIB. Last night I was doing a wee bit of googling on anthropology and down syndrome and happened across this article, of all things:
https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2019/11/415946/down-syndrome-mouse-model-scientists-reverse-intellectual-deficits-drugs
Color me intrigued 🤔
I have a limited background in hacking my own diagnosis of narcolepsy about a decade ago. I went deep and spent a fair bit of $$. I came away with an understanding that is priceless and functionality to boot. Basically disabled, to able bodied and back to living life.
Cue pregnancy later in life and subsequently had my much loved and wanted son, Marcus who happens to have trisomy 21.
I did my preliminary research on supporting him the best I possibly can but somehow this slipped past my radar. He was born 2021.
Anyhow, this medication just became available on May 8th!? I plan on making an appointment with the SEI center at Denver's Children's hospital to further discuss this.
I've basically been glued to my phone as much as possible today reading and researching what I can.
I suppose the reason that I am writing is out of a mother's hopeful optimism and curiosity as I am just learning about this, and wondering if anyone would like to chime in regarding any drawbacks to this.
I've only briefly had time to skim the other posts but will go over them as time permits.
I want to set my son up for the best possible future however that comes, though safety is a priority with a developing brain. Apparently protein is, too!!
Any constructive comments would be welcomed and so appreciated. I don't even know enough to ask intelligent questions but plan on catching myself up to speed.
Thank you kindly

So for about 2/3 months now I have stepped up my weight training...getting a lot of info from the youtubers, books and mags but still have some questions (as always lol):

1. Rest between sets. I was taught (back in the glory days of high school gym class lifting) that it's good to keep your heart rate up while "resting" between sets. like stand up do a light jog in place or at least move your limbs a bit. But these days I see people just hunched over on their phone between sets. Yeah I get that 2-3 minutes is good (especially for heavy reps) but isn't it good to keep the heart rate up, not max, but up a bit at least?
2. Biceps: I'm not seeing much results and i'm doing 2/3 exercises twice a week. For many years I just went up to 25lbs standing curls with dumbbells but lately i've incorporated incline curls, preacher curls (machine mostly), reverse close grip pull down, mtn row, easy curls and concentration curls. steppin up the lbs and close to fatigue with last set. Sure they are solid but just not that distinct bulge of well-defined flexed bicep. and don't worry i'm not neglecting triceps...but still not seeing much progress there as well... except a bit firmer.
3. Smith Machines: My gym (planet fitness), though I do some light "maintenance workouts at home once a week, doesn't have "free weight benches and squat racks, just the Smith Machines. I have got to like them, but am I missing out on more gains by not doing bench presses and squats "unassisted"?
4. Good reads: Any books you can recommend regarding bodybuilding, fitness or motivation etc? Not necessarily about exercises and form but maybe some nonfiction about inside the bodybuilding industry or history etc. Just starting watching the classic "pumping iron" and digging it fyi!

*fyi my diet is pretty good, taking in more protein than I used to. About 3 months in on creatine. trying to lean down more (about 21% body fat now). My sleep could be better for gains...I get about 5-6 hours a night, even on weekends. Early 40's male
thanks

Every day/night before the open of the next trading session, I write out my plan for the open, my general expectations for the market that day, and what buyers/sellers would want to see in each of the opening scenarios that I outline. Since I live in PST and do not/cannot physically get up at 4:30am everyday to plan a couple of hours before the market opens (this includes assessing any over night news, overseas markets, pre-open activity, etc), I make sure to plan for almost every possible scenario imaginable. This includes those that I feel are very unlikely.
Doing this provides me with many significant benefits.
First of all, I am actively planning out for all possible scenarios at the open. This means that I will not be blindsided by any "unexpected" move at the open. I will have already prepared for it and will have a guide that I can reference for what I need to do and watch to watch for.
Second, this plan helps to keep me "balanced" at the open. For every possible scenario that could unfold at the open, I write out in extensive detail what buyers AND sellers would want to see in order for them to get long/short. Importantly, this also helps me to detach from any directional bias that I may have, especially if I have swing positions that go with that bias. I will prepared and have played out the price action that both buyers and sellers will want to see to support their case.
Finally, and arguably most important, I am constantly reinforcing the need to be aware and proactive with discipline, NOT unaware and impulsively reactive. Being unaware and impulsively reactive is very dangerous in trading. When you have a directional bias and the market suddenly starts to do something that you were unprepared for and not expecting, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT GOES AGAINST ANY POSITIONS THAT YOU MAY HAVE ON, you're going to be prone to poor and emotional decision making. Being well prepared ahead of the game, IMO, is crucial, and will help keep you out of trouble.
After the market open, I set a 45 minute timer on my watch/phone. When that is up, I pause and open up my daily trading log/notes. I write out what the price action has been like up to this point and I once again write out what buyers and sellers would want to see. If I have a personal bias and want to get long, for example, I will wait for the "buyer" scenario to unfold before I get long.
​
With that being said, here are my notes/plan for the open tomorrow. For each scenario, you will see that I have laid out subsections for what buyers and sellers would want to see, as well as any levels of support and resistance that I feel are notable.

market 5/15 pre-open notes
Yesterday, SPY put in a large 'Gap n Go' after a quick and tiny bid check into the gap. Very bullish price action all day long with minimal retracement. SPY closed on its HOD at a new ATH on heavy volume. This is a strong breakout, especially considering the fact that SPY closed on its HOD without any EOD profit taking yday.
After the big day yday, I feel that SPY is very likely to have a rest day. I'd imagine that we're likely going to open within yday's range.
The price action into the breakout to the new ATH has been rather tenuous. Very light volume bounce above the SMA 100 with mixed candles. This isn't bearish (light volume rallies are NOT BEARISH. They just can't be trusted as much), but it does suggest that buyers early on (up until the last couple of days) have not be very aggressive. If they were, we would have seen stacked green candles on heavy volume. Instead, we've had a general light float higher. Given this relatively light price action going into the breakout, I want to see this breakout hold and gain traction within a few days. We don't want SPY to compress around here for too long without making much progress. That would be a sign of resistance if SPY is unable to add to these gains.
It's important to remember: "We don't make money on the breakout. We make money on the follow through" -- Pete S
I would've entered some swing longs yday, but the price action into the breakout makes me want to hold off momentarily. I would feel more comfortable with opening swings if I can see SPY hold the breakout well + technical confirmation of the breakout with follow through. A quick, wimpy re-test of support that forms a higher low, double bottom above 525.18 (low of 5/15 breakout) could setup an excellent entrypoint for longs if buyers show their aggression. Additionally, a quick little pullback could help us get a better sense of which stocks are actually RS, versus those that are just getting dragged up by their hair with the market.
SPY will be starting the day off finalizing a bullish 1OP cycle and will quickly develop into a bearish 1OP cycle.
​
## Scenarios for the open
### Gap Up above 530.08
On a gap up, I would be very, very cautious. Gaps up to new relative highs often times see profit taking, and we do not want that profit taking to turn into organized selling. Given that some of the move yday on the 'gap n go' was likely fueled by shorts getting squeezed on the breakout above prior ATH at 524.61, I feel that this gap up could potentially be a bit more "vulnerable" to a gap reversal than the one we had yday. What possible news would warrant a larger sized gap up overnight?
​
#### Buyers
For buyers, if the gap up holds the halfway point / prior day high (530.08) during the bearish 1OP cycle, that could set up a nice entrypoint for a long on a 1OP bullish cross + bounce (technical confirmation). Keep in mind that SPY has moved a lot over the last couple of days, and a day of rest is likely. Buyers would not want to see sellers aggressively fill the gap and get into the prior day range. Getting trapped in the prior day range would likely set up dull trading conditions.
​
#### Sellers
Sellers need to hold off on jumping into shorts. We know that buyers were very active yesterday--there were virtually zero dips yesterday, and that's a sign of conviction/strength from buyers. At a minimum, sellers would want to see the gap completely fill on the bearish 1OP cycle and to make plenty of retracement into ydays range. If on the next bullish 1OP cycle buyers are unable to breakout back above the prior day high (and the move up is tenuous with mixed overlapping candles), a lower high double top + a bearish 1OP cross + significant technical confirmation (i.e. long red bullish engulfing candle with quick follow through on heavy volume) could potentially setup a SMALL short. If we short, be mindful that we're shorting against a very powerful long term up trend. It's prudent to use a smaller size and to be mindful that this is likely going to be a lower probability trade, as we do not have the long term trend at our back.
​
#### S/R levels for a gap up
Support: ATH/yday high at 530.08
Resistance: None. Watch the price action very closely for clues of any resistance if SPY moves up to a new high and struggles to advance (tiny bodied compressed candles on light volume, bearish hammers, bearish engulfs).
​
### Flat open / smaller gap down within the upper end of yday range [527.17 (open of 11:05 long green key bar that broke to new HOD yday on M5 chart), 530.08]
If SPY opens within yesterday's range, warning signs to "error on the side of not trading" should flash. Remember -- successive back to back big days (i.e. two large bullish trend days in a row) are not very common. Usually, we're going to see a day of rest after a big day like we had yday. Additionally, inside days generally do NOT provide the best trading conditions. If SPY establishes a high and low well within the bounds of yday's range and sits within it for the first 60-90 minutes or so, we're likely going to see a choppy light volume range bound day. If that happens, be prepared to not take any trades and recognize that there may not be any great opportunity that sets up. Focus instead on setting alerts so that we're ready for the next higher probability opportunity (it will come, don't forget that).
​
#### Buyers
Buyers want to see SPY hold the bid well to start the day. Because we have a pending bearish 1OP cycle and a big day yday, there may be some initial selling on the open from profit taking after yday's big day. If SPY can hold itself together and is able to stay at/above 527.17 (where any drift lower is on mixed candles with retracement and low volume), a bullish 1OP cycle + technical confirmation of a bounce off of/above 527.17 support level could set up an opportunity for a long (don't force anything if there's nothing notable to trade). Watch for follow through and a nice drift higher, ideally without any large retracement. If SPY is below the HOD from wherever we open, buyers would want to see SPY easily get back to it and breakout through it without much effort. Any mamby-pamby patty-cake attempt to make a new high (very light volume + mixed candles, choppy move up, tails/wicks, compressed move upward/compression below the HOD) would be a sign that SPY is likely not going to have much luck breaking out of the range.
​
#### Sellers
For sellers, like the above scenario (gap up above yday high), they need to be patient on the open. There needs to be a very convincing reason to get short. Sellers would want to see an easy breakdown through the 527.17 level with organized selling to start the day. I personally would not chase a breakdown with follow through. We know that buyers were very aggressive at the end of the trading session on Tuesday + all day on Wednesday on a breakout to a new ATH (yesterday). In this breakdown scenario, I feel that buyers are likely going to try to bounce SPY back up to 527.17. If the bounce is wimpy and a lower high, double top forms below that level + heavier follow through selling with technical confirmation, a small short may set up. Be mindful of support at 525.18 (the low from yday into the gap). Shorting failed bounces is much easier than chasing long red candles when going against the strength of the longer term uptrend that SPY is in right now.
​
#### S/R levels for "flat open / smaller gap down"
Support: 527.17, 525.18 (prior LOD)
Resistance: 530.08
​
### Larger gap down within the lower end of yday range [525.18, 527.17]
In the case that SPY gaps down below 527.17, we need to closely watch how SPY behaves at the open. This would be a decent sized gap down, especially considering the fact that SPY closed yday practically at the HOD with no profit taking at the EOD. Because of that, I feel that
​
1) This is unlikely, and
2) If it does happen, both buyers and sellers need to have extra patience
​
#### Buyers
The ideal scenario for buyers would be for SPY to quickly start filling in the gap down. That would be a sign that buyers are eager to regain the overnight losses and that they're interested at this level. I would want to see buyers quickly break out above 527.17 with follow through to get interested in going long.
​
What buyers would NOT want to see here is for SPY to drift lower down toward yday LOD at 525.18. That would be a sign that the profit taking/selling from overnight + the open is heavier than expected. If this happens, buyers need to be careful and NOT rush into anything. They would want to see support form above the 527.17 level (M5 11:05 long green key bar) + a quick bounce with consecutive green candles on decent volume. If buyers can breakout above 527.17 with conviction and the next bearish 1OP cycle fails to produce (buyers defend that level + higher low, double bottom above it), the next bullish 1OP cycle could setup a potential long.
​
#### Sellers
While a gap down of this size would certainly be "exciting" for sellers, they must respect the strength in SPY from EOD Tuesday + yday's breakout to new ATH. Sellers would want to see a very weak attempt from buyers to get above the 527.17 level that's quickly smacked down with a long red bearish engulfing candle, or consecutive red candles on heavy volume. Since SPY will likely begin a bearish 1OP cycle shortly after the open, sellers would want to quickly try to get down to yday LOD at 525.18. If that level is easily broken by sellers, don't rush into anything. Sit back and expect some volatility. SPY would be in the gap from yday's large gap up, and the previous ATH at 524.61 would serve as support. If buyers are interested in this breakout above 524.61, they will try to support the market there. If sellers can break through that level with ease on stacked red candles on heavy volume, that would be a warning sign that sellers are active and aggressive above the 524.61 prior ATH.
​
Given the significance of a breakdown like this below the prior ATH at 524.61 + the chance for some increased volatility (this would be a potential failed breakout above prior ATH), don't rush into a short. I would personally want to wait for a failed bounce/attempt from buyers to move SPY back up above 524.61, or a compression near the LOD that does not last for long and where buyers are unable to retrace any of the long red candles. If that happens, that would confirm that the selling pressure is much heavier than expected and I can feel more comfortable getting short.
​
#### S/R levels
Support: 525.18 (yday low), 524.61 (previous ATH)
Resistance: 527.17 (open from SPY M5 11:05 long green key bar), 530.08 (yday HOD)
​
### Large gap down below 525.18
If SPY gaps down well below 525.18 (and below 524.61 ATH), this would be a significant warning sign. There would have to be a pretty substantial reason (whatever that may be) for institutions to NOT want to support the very strong and convincing buying we had yday to a new ATH. Expect volatility in this case.
​
Even more so than the "larger gap down within lower end of yday range" above, I feel that this is a very unlikely scenario.
​
#### Buyers
Buyers would want to see close to the same as the above in the "larger gap down withing lower end of yday range" above, but with much more aggression. Buyers would need to show aggressive interest that they want to support the breakout to a new ATH. They would want to very quickly fill in some of the gap down and get back into yday range. Be very, very careful here. I would personally only feel comfortable getting long if I can see buyers get above 527.17 with relative ease.
​
#### Sellers
A large gap down like this would be significant. Sellers should NOT be all giddy that "this is it! The top is in!". They must be mindful of the fact that a gap down would be going against the longer term up trend in SPY.
​
The best case scenario for sellers would be a wimpy bounce into the gap that fails to get above 525.18. A large red bearish engulfing candle or consecutive red candles on heavy volume that breaks down to a new LOD could set up a short.
​
The next best case would be an immediate "gap n go" below 524.61 (prior ATH). Even on stacked red candles with little to no overlap, sellers should be careful to not chase a short. Remember that they're going against the longer term strong up trend. Wait for a failed bounce on the part of buyers that fails to gain much distance/traction.
​
#### S/R levels
Support: 524.61, 523.8 (tuesday HOD), 522.67 (monday HOD), 519.59 (5/10 LOD)
Resistance: 524.61 (if open below), 525.18, 527.17, 530.08

Hey there, hope you're having a wonderful day! I'm primarily looking for a monogamous role reversal relationship but I'm open to pretty much anything! Long-distance works for me and I'd be willing to relocate to you, I hate the country I'm currently in.
A few things that might be a deal breaker for you
I'm an atheist and I deal with spoilerphobia, OCD and PTSD. I'm also super privacy conscious which makes me uncomfortable talking here on reddit, I'm hoping we can move to a platform like Signal!
Appearance
I'm 5'6"/167cm, 50kgs/110lbs, I have dark brown eyes, long curly black hair, light skin, I wear glasses for myopia and astigmatism, and I lovee cross-dressing!
What I'm looking for
I'm hoping to find someone caring, protective and dominant. Someone who'd hold me and tell me everything will be okay. A sweet, kind human who has healthy moral and ethical values and stands up for what they believe in. Preferably someone who is also an atheist or agnostic. The quickest way to make me fall in love with you is to baby me ^^
More about me
I'm a homebody and have a bit of social anxiety. I spend most of my day in my room, playing pc games, watching youtube, staring at a wall, etc. I enjoy going out for late night walks and hanging out with my feline friends. I love informative videos and learning from them! I'm a lot into computers, cybersecurity and electronics. I like fixing things and understanding what makes them tick. I'm very allergic to locked down products like the iPhone, I love having root access over all of my devices. My favorite anime show is Blood+. As for music, I have an offline collection on my HDD. I love physical affection (hugs, cuddles, etc). And I'm a cat person!
Some random facts about me
I use Linux and play most of my games inside a Windows virtual machine with GPU passthrough. I use vanilla LineageOS 21.0 on my phone. I normally drink 4-6 litres of water a day and I use LibreWolf as my primary browser.
Well, I hope this reaches my person! You can be from anywhere on this space rock, time zones won't be an issue, I can sync my sleep schedule with yours! And if you decide to reach out, I request that you don't ghost me. If something doesn't work, I'd rather you let me know and we can part ways mutually :)
If you read all the way, here's a tasty cookie for you! 🍪

TW: weight loss
Made a throw away account, but basically I am just seeking some advice as my boyfriend and Is sex life has really died down in the past year and I’m not sure if I can do anything about it. I’ve expressed myself to him but it feels he excuses it to other things in very defensive manners and never really cares about there maybe being a issue or taking initiative so that I get reassurance that doesn’t let me get mixed in my insecurities. For ex: he will admit to me and agree our sex life isn’t what it was at one point but then when I say anything like the fact I don’t feel I even like give him a boner as often he will focus on the times he has got a boner and gaslight me versus being like “yeah no idk what’s been up maybe it’s my medication or something but I want to have sex more too!” I know he would never tell me if it was because of just being less attracted to me- so like I just feel stuck because my intuition is telling me it’s that.
I lost a lot of weight in our relationship and it’s hard to not think that that’s affected his sex drive. I wouldn’t maybe be so insecure about this if nothing changed but I literally just don’t feel my body makes him as horny or excited anymore. If anything I’ve received more attention from other guys since I’ve lost weight, I in general feel more confident as I used to be a bit chubbier and now I feel way more in shape but sexually I don’t have like a huge ass or boobs anymore. I really do want to start hitting the gym and gain back a butt again but I can’t do much about my boobs and hate the fact that I want to change for someone else even though he hasn’t communicated wanting me to change- his actions being different can’t help but make my mind spiral. As I was losing weight I didn’t expect this and feel like if anything since I was chubbier expected him to be more attracted to me when I slimed down.
I always had small boobs but I had enough to like grab lol and I wouldn’t say I exactly have much today. They are still like perky and nice in my opinion but i would never send like a tit pic for example because of how flat I am like I would just feel like a boy taking a photo of their chest lol. TW: weight loss and weight mentioned, I used to be 160lbs with a B cup and now I’m about 115lbs and have a A-AA cup. I played a lot of sports so I had a very muscular butt which I have lost overtime with my new lifestyle of school+ work.
What made me super insecure recently is we were watching a movie and a very porn type scene came on. The girl was seducing the guy in the film and had tripped/bent down showing her cleavage which was a lot. I kinda wish he just grabbed his phone and didn’t look but shit happens it’s 2024. It was a movie where like time reversed lol so the scene played like 2-3 times. What sucked was I felt his heart literally start pounding out of his chest during this scene and it has really ate up my mind today at work because I want him to get excited like that over me and it just feels impossible. She was a stereotypical blonde with huge boobs and I am like basic brunette with no chest so it definitely hurt. It feels like we have sex enough for him to like say we have sex and have that as his defense but theres often no huge desire from him(and I don’t usually get prioritized to finish) I just hate always feeling like there’s something wrong with me for being horny.
My insecurities have actually like made me want to get like a boob job just so I have stuff to like get in his face and make him excited since I feel like skin and bones when in comes to our relationship in the fact I don’t feel I can like make him horny anymore. I realize this is my issue majorly and I need therapy but I am also just so in the dark with a lack of reassurance and it’s so confusing because maybe i am underweight and shouldn’t expect him to be attracted to me in this way but also I can’t help it?? I’ve been trying to eat more and stuff but my boobs I know are just naturally small. I will hit the gym and try to get more of a ass to help that part- Im just confused. Like how do I navigate this. Is this just me being unattractive or is it more so maybe his issues with porn? He doesn’t watch it now but he def did before me and we had a problem in the past where I did find saved photos of a bot nude/just struggled with him not unfollowing girls online and stuff so of course that’s kinda where insecurities also began to stem from. ANY reply or initial insights would mean the world. Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️
TDLR: I’ve been insecure in my relationship due to our sex life being a lot less frequent and often initiated by me. Overall I feel like I have noticed him just less sexually attracted to me, which when we were watching a movie and a porn scene came on that excited him, really hurt because I was opposite to the body type of the girl on TV. Is there anything I can do here or is my partner maybe just not into me physically?

Cross-posted from AOAIBetrayeds. AOAIBetrayeds is an online peer support group and safe space reserved for betrayed individuals who are considering, actively attempting to, or have reconciled after infidelity. If you feel you would benefit from a more private supportive sub for only betrayed people, message the mods at AOAIBetrayeds or send me a DM.
It's been 2 months since I posted an update so I think it is time.
Context: Me: 59m. Her: 55f. Married 33 years, together 36. WW had a full on EA bookended with multiple sexual PA's (1 in Dec, 2022 and 3 in Sept, 2023 (last 2 on Dday). She then pretended to go NC with AP for an additional 5 months which created Dday #2 in February. Read my story and updates using my profile for posts if you want to see background.
https://www.reddit.com/useDiscardbobulated/submitted/
NO ADVICE PLEASE: Just like last time I posted, and the time before that, I am processing all of this stuff, and working with my therapist and my support group closely, so I will ask for advice only when I think I need it and when I think I am ready to receive it. Right now, I just thought I’d post an update for those who might be following along or anyone for whom my story resonates. I hope you’re OK.
I can use reassurance. I have asked for no advice because I am all full-up with advice that I am taking and utilizing. More and/or different advice will potentially muddy my process and have my approach blurred. Reassurance though? Bring it on. We all need it. Sometimes directly and sometimes just by being here and reading the stories of others. Reassure me.
As many of you know, I was dealt a huge blow the day after Valentine’s Day. That’s 3 months ago today for those of you keeping track. My wife, with whom I was 5.5 months into ‘reconciliation’ with, came clean and told me that she was still in contact with her AP for the entirety of that span of time.
The revelation of The Big Lie as I refer to it now, even with my wife, was in incredibly damaging hit to the idea of reconciliation. It was as shattering, if not MORE shattering as the original affair revelation. Big lies, little lies, untruths, the masking of truth, the omission of truth…all are devastating to the traumatized betrayed. If you know anything of the effects of trauma (as most of you do I am sure), you know that each lie usually triggers a trauma response, and each trauma response piles into a vast storage area in your brain where it pools and stays ready to fuck you up every time it’s poked. And mine was poked A LOT in the last 3 months. A LOT.
I started the ‘last 3 months’ phase of this journey with this huge setback that was The Big Lie. It reset our progress to zero in some cases. If you look at some things, like my ability to control the PTSD events, then that progress was still in effect. (I was still able to recognize the PTSD event coming on and sometimes get control of it before spiraling out of control). If you look at the timeline of physical sexual events, that didn’t change. If you take into account all the books and articles read, all the podcasts and audiobooks listened to, and all the hours spend by me in IC, then then those items were (mostly) still intact.
But you know what was now absolutely fucking GONE?
~T R U S T~
I had spent that first 5.5 months learning to trust again as we were working our way through reconciliation. You can look back at my post history prior to February, 2024 and see a solid progression of trust being built, of confidence being regained, and of affection, sexuality, appreciation, and friendship being rebuilt.
ALL of that was 100% GONE in ONE moment. GONE.
LIES are destructive. Secondary Dday lies like this one are DEEPLY destructive.
Trust is often cited as the most important ingredient in a personal relationship. How can we even begin to consider something as gigantic as a marriage reconciliation when trust has been completely blown up? I don’t have an answer to that. I am looking for it.
You know what was also lost at the point of the revelation of The Big Lie?
Hope. Optimism. Self-esteem. Admiration. Lust. Attraction. Affection. All gone.
My feelings of these things were returning in slivers over those 5.5 months after Dday and now they were just GONE.
Replacing these feelings were different feelings I had. Now I was feeling: Helpless. Worthless. Inadequate. Unloved. Betrayed. Devastated. Like a Chump. Belittled. Emasculated. Unworthy. Ugly. Undesirable …and incredibly MANIPULATED.
She had spent this time manipulating me into complacency while she continued to carry on her affair in the form of regular communication with ‘her friend’ AP. They talked on the phone regularly, texted regularly. All the while she was putting forth what I THOUGHT was EFFORT into our reconciliation, but was really just a collection of actions that were meant to placate me.
The Fake R time, as I now know it, included: I love you’s. Hand holding. Sex. Apologies. Forward thinking. Plans. I was feeling like PROGRESS was happening. I was still experiencing the PTSD events. Still having times when I would lash out in anger at her for what she had done, but those awful things were decreasing in intensity and frequency and I was thankful for that.
I was able to see what reconciliation looks like.
Only I wasn’t. It was all a sham. Now that she is not in contact with him (I hope and believe), she has stopped the hand holding (mostly). Not one ‘I love you’ in the past 3 months. The hugs I used to get now feel like the hugs you’d give a kid with a scraped knee. The feeling of being wanted and being on a path to something better has been obliterated. And sex? 2-3 times a week during the Fake R has become 1 time in the last 3 months.
So now, after the revelation of The Big Lie I am left with a VERY odd feeling. A feeling like what I WANT BACK is the pre-Big-Lie actions. The ‘I Love You’s’, the hand holding, the sex…
But since I now know these as things that were done to manipulate me, I really DON’T want them back. What I want is something that I have not yet seen: An honest reconciliation and the actions that come with that. And now that my mind has suffered the mind-fuck rollercoaster of the last 8 months, I don’t even know what honest reconciliation looks like. My perception is fucked up. I no longer can think accurately about this stuff because of the gaslighting. It’s hard to even describe the feeling of disconnection with my own reality.
A METAMORPHOSIS The changes in how she was treating me now that she no longer has AP in her back pocket as a ‘friend’ to talk to are stark. She has expressed that the sex was just to placate me. That she can’t feel good about US anymore because she doesn’t have knowledge of how HE is doing anymore. She cannot “live her good life” with me because she doesn’t know if HE is able to “have a good life”. She is NO CONTACT with him, but clearly some of her still has a connection to him. That hurts.
During these last 3 months I have gone from non-functioning to confused to (almost) accepting. Along the way I have passed ANGRY, DEVASTATED, DEFEATED, and a hundred other negative emotions.
I also spent nearly all of my time doing what ALL us betrayeds do. I tried to get her to UNDERSTAND MY PAIN. I wanted her to really know what she has done to me. Not just what she did with the affair, but with the aftermath of the affair and the 5.5 months that I was trying to regain trust in her and she was faking R with me so that she could continue her EA with HIM. I was CONSTANTLY wanting her to HURT because I thought that if she could HURT like I HURT then she could understand my pain and come to really know what it is she has done. And if she could get to THAT place, then surely she would finally find the shame and guilt that I think she deserves to bear.
The problem is that even with all my effort to explain to her in words, in mental breakdowns, in PTSD trauma events, in triggers, sadness, crying and constant malaise, nothing was changing.
She wasn’t displaying any of the remorse, guilt and shame that I want from her. She wasn’t giving me any of the actions or words she was giving me during Fake R. She wasn’t holding my hand. She wasn’t saying I love you. She wasn’t touching me or having sex with me. She was just enduring my wrath.
During the last time that I sat with her and had a Q&A about how she could do this and all the same questions that I have asked before and my saying again how hurt I was and how it was ALL HER FAULT and how I thought she should feel SHAME I ended up feeling a little tranquil. I felt like maybe I had told her enough times. I didn’t know if she fully understood like I wanted her to but I thought that we were at a place where MORE of this was going to do NOTHING. After all, almost 3 months of it hadn’t YET produced anything, why would MORE have any potential for positive progress.
So I had a thought. What if I just treated her nicely? What if I stopped with the finger wagging and the name calling and the ‘why me’s’ and the angry lashing out. What if I instead tried to hold HER hand occasionally? What if I just WASN’T adversarial? Could that help? Could that get her to see me differently? Could that get ME to see me differently? Could that reset my mind and get me out of the victim moment and into some undefined type of recovery?
I wondered to myself if I had it in myself to let those things go. I wondered if I was CAPABLE of not being so fucking angry at her for what she had done. I mean, we both are clearly aware of what she has done and what it has caused in me, so I don’t have to restate that over and over and over again, DO I?
I took this question with me to IC.
IC reframed it in a way that resonated with me somehow. She said: “Look, you’ve spent a lot of time ‘spinning’, trying to make heads or tails of your predicament. Trying to get her to love you again. Trying to find connection with her. Why? Because you love her. Isn’t that the entire point? If you want to reconcile with her the end goal is for you to love one another again because you love her, right?” She said: “Why don’t you try showing her your true self? The self that loves her. The self that wants reconciliation because you love her. Maybe start with small things? Don’t go crazy and drive yourself nuts with a huge reversal from anger and hurt to loving and wonderful. Instead just don’t hurl negativity all the time. Relax instead. Act like reconciliation is under way in order to see if that action can initiate a real reaction.”
In other words, release the Restraining Bolt that keeps you in the stew of anger and contempt and head off to find a crazy old wizard and your path to freedom from the tyranny of self-pity.
Interesting.
This made SOME sense to me, and partly made sense to me because of the way I was FEELING. It would NOT have made sense to me 2 months ago, or even a week ago. It makes sense to me because of where I am NOW. A shift in gears from the anger and hatred to something more nurturing. Not a full tack. More of a subtle lane change. (sorry to mix my motoring and sailing metaphors).
So this is where I am now. I made the decision in my head to move over into this other lane. I did this less than 36 hours ago. I have not yet determined if this has been beneficial or not. I feel anxious. Of course I didn’t NOT feel anxious in that other lane, so this is a wash. I have not yet experienced any super-positive changes to my own attitude. I have no idea if she has even noticed. I hope she has and I intend to ask her if she has when we go see our marriage counselor today.
T I M E
My support group has told me that time is my friend. That only time will allow my wife to recognize that she truly is the villain in her own story. To have her really understand that SHE is the cause of all of this. For her to recognize also that her AP is not the needy ‘good guy’ that weaseled his way into her psyche, but the manipulative fuck that we all know he is. TIME. Time also for me to be able to release the anger like I have been attempting to do over the last couple days. Time for me to ponder how I can find my own self esteem again and really shed my feelings of inadequacy and ugliness (among others). Time for WW and I to possibly find some bonding time and make some memories that are not anger and sorrow and self pity and….
“She’s fast enough for you, old man.” I guess she is. That’s what they tell me. Essentially the theme of this slow-burn reconciliation thing. That if she is showing ANY progress, then that is the progress that we as betrayeds need to embrace. ANYTHING is “fast enough” because you cannot speed this process up. You will never do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. Not gonna happen. 1-5 years is what they say reconciliation takes for it to be complete if it makes it to complete. I have told myself to give it at least 3. My hope is that I will feel a shift from tentative to optimism at some point along the way and that will give my brain the jump to light speed that it needs for me to relax and feel safe again.
This ‘update’ doesn’t predict a future. I have no preconceived ideas about how this might pan out. I just thought that an update could be beneficial.
Beneficial to ME in my selfish need for some validation of where I am and what I’m going through. For ME to be able to try to get it all on ‘paper’ so that I can help myself try to understand where I am. For ME to see a progression, no matter how up-and-down it has been.
Beneficial for OTHERS who may have a story like mine or PARTIALLY like mine who will be able to see themselves in this writing and be able to feel less alone. Beneficial maybe to all of us who might have a Bad Motivator.
Thanks for reading, my fucked up comrades. Sorry you are here in this sub. It’s a truly shitty place to need to be. I appreciate all of you. Without this sub and the people in it I think I might literally not be around. Here’s to you and your futures. May you find some peace.
Fuck these affairs.

Hey there, hope you're having a wonderful day! I'm primarily looking for a monogamous role reversal relationship but I'm open to pretty much anything! Long-distance works for me and I'd be willing to relocate to you, I hate the country I'm currently in. If you can't message me on reddit, you can check my profile for alternative means to reach me!
A few things that might be a deal breaker for you
I'm an atheist and I deal with spoilerphobia, OCD and PTSD. I'm also super privacy conscious which makes me uncomfortable talking here on reddit, I'm hoping we can move to a platform like Signal!
Appearance
I'm 5'6"/167cm, 50kgs/110lbs, I have dark brown eyes, long curly black hair, light skin, I wear glasses for myopia and astigmatism, and I lovee cross-dressing!
What I'm looking for
I'm hoping to find someone caring, protective and dominant. Someone who'd hold me and tell me everything will be okay. A sweet, kind human who has healthy moral and ethical values and stands up for what they believe in. Preferably someone who is also an atheist or agnostic. The quickest way to make me fall in love with you is to baby me ^^
More about me
I'm a homebody and have a bit of social anxiety. I spend most of my day in my room, playing pc games, watching youtube, staring at a wall, etc. I like going out for late night walks and hanging out with my feline friends. Some of my favorite youtube channels are Louis Rossmann, Hugh Jeffreys, Branch Education, Professor Dave Explains, Mental Outlaw, Mentour Pilot, Coffeezilla, ElectroBOOM and penguinz0. I love informative videos and learning from them! I'm a lot into computers, cybersecurity and electronics. I like fixing things and understanding what makes them tick. I'm very allergic to locked down products like the iPhone, I love having root access over all of my devices. My favorite anime show is Blood+. As for music, I have an offline collection on my HDD. I love physical affection (hugs, cuddles, etc). And I'm a cat person!
Some random facts about me
I use Linux and play most of my games inside a Windows virtual machine with GPU passthrough. I use vanilla LineageOS 21.0 on my phone. I normally drink 4-6 litres of water a day and I use LibreWolf as my primary browser.
Well, I hope this reaches my person! You can be from anywhere on this space rock, time zones won't be an issue, I can sync my sleep schedule with yours! And if you decide to reach out, I request that you don't ghost me. If something doesn't work, I'd rather you let me know and we can part ways mutually :)
If you read all the way, here's a tasty cookie for you! 🍪

Hey there, hope you're having a wonderful day! I'm primarily looking for a monogamous role reversal relationship but I'm open to pretty much anything! Long-distance works for me and I'd be willing to relocate to you if you live outside India, I hate this country. If you can't message me on reddit, you can check my profile for alternative means to reach me!
A few things that might be a deal breaker for you
I'm an atheist and I deal with spoilerphobia, OCD and PTSD. I'm also super privacy conscious which makes me uncomfortable talking here on reddit, I'm hoping we can move to a platform like Signal!
Appearance
I'm 5'6"/167cm, 50kgs/110lbs, I have dark brown eyes, long curly black hair, light skin, I wear glasses for myopia and astigmatism, and I lovee cross-dressing!
What I'm looking for
I'm hoping to find someone caring, protective and dominant. Someone who'd hold me and tell me everything will be okay. A sweet, kind human who has healthy moral and ethical values and stands up for what they believe in. Preferably someone who is also an atheist or agnostic. The quickest way to make me fall in love with you is to baby me ^^
More about me
I'm a homebody and have a bit of social anxiety. I spend most of my day in my room, playing pc games, watching youtube, staring at a wall, etc. I like going out for late night walks and hanging out with my feline friends. Some of my favorite youtube channels are Louis Rossmann, Hugh Jeffreys, Branch Education, Professor Dave Explains, Mental Outlaw, Mentour Pilot, Coffeezilla, ElectroBOOM and penguinz0. I love informative videos and learning from them! I'm a lot into computers, cybersecurity and electronics. I like fixing things and understanding what makes them tick. I'm very allergic to locked down products like the iPhone, I love having root access over all of my devices. My favorite anime show is Blood+. As for music, I have an offline collection on my HDD. I love physical affection (hugs, cuddles, etc). And I'm a cat person!
Some random facts about me
I use Linux and play most of my games inside a Windows virtual machine with GPU passthrough. I use vanilla LineageOS 21.0 on my phone. I normally drink 4-6 litres of water a day and I use LibreWolf as my primary browser.
Well, I hope this reaches my person! You can be from anywhere on this space rock, time zones won't be an issue, I can sync my sleep schedule with yours! And if you decide to reach out, I request that you don't ghost me. If something doesn't work, I'd rather you let me know and we can part ways mutually :)
If you read all the way, here's a tasty cookie for you! 🍪

Building an Effective Resume
Your resume is your ticket to the professional world, the first impression you make on potential employers. Building a strong resume is crucial for opening doors to new opportunities and showcasing your skills and experiences. In this blog post, we'll walk through the essential steps to help you craft a compelling and effective resume that stands out from the crowd.
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• List your work experience in reverse chronological order, starting with your most recent job. For each position, include the company name, your job title, and the dates you worked there. Use bullet points to highlight your achievements and responsibilities, emphasizing the impact you had on the organization.

Quantify Your Achievements:

• Whenever possible, quantify your accomplishments. Use numbers, percentages, or other measurable metrics to demonstrate the impact of your work. This adds credibility to your achievements and gives employers a clear understanding of your contributions.

Education and Certifications:

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Tailor Your Resume for Each Job Application:

• Customize your resume for each job application by aligning your skills and experiences with the specific requirements of the position. This demonstrates your attentiveness and makes your resume more appealing to hiring managers.

Include Relevant Keywords:

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Add a Section for Additional Accomplishments:

• Consider including a section for additional accomplishments, awards, or volunteer work that demonstrates your well-rounded skills and character.

Keep it Concise and Well-Formatted:

• Aim for a clean, organized layout with a professional font. Keep your resume to a maximum of two pages, focusing on the most important and relevant information. Use bullet points for easy readability.

Conclusion:
Crafting a good resume is a skill that can significantly impact your professional journey. By following these steps, you can create a resume that effectively showcases your strengths, catches the attention of employers, and increases your chances of landing the job you desire. Remember, your resume is a dynamic document, so revisit and update it regularly to reflect your evolving skills and experiences.
Signed,
The lady behind the JobsRUs.com mask

Updated to iOS 17.5 a couple hours ago, and since then my iPhone Pro 15 spontaneously reboots every 3 minutes. Opened a support case, collected diagnostics, Apple has no clue. Repaireplace is the only option, since Apple does not allow downgrade/reversion to prior version (17.4.1). Anybody else seeing this (or other issues) since the upgrade?

Updated to 17.5 a couple hours ago, and since then my iPhone Pro 15 spontaneously reboots every 3 minutes. Opened a support case, collected diagnostics, Apple has no clue. Repaireplace is the only option, since Apple does not allow downgrade/reversion to prior version (17.4.1). Anybody else seeing this (or other issues) since the upgrade?