Hi there,
So I've been on Contrave for two months now and I've lost a total of 18lbs, which I'm so happy about! I can almost fit into my old graduation outfit and I've lost literal cm's from my waist and hips. I'm overall so much more active and I feel great. I haven't had any significant side effects and I haven't been calorie counting or made any effort to avoid certain foods but I have seen a nutritional therapist to help me overcome disordered eating patterns from my dancer days. I thought that there was something severely wrong with me when I couldn't lose weight following these super unhealthy guidelines from my youth, which only led me to believe that I will forever be doomed in a body I felt was failing me.
As it turns out, these patterns (that I thought should've kept me thin) were the most likely culprit for my slow but steady weight gain and now I'm using Contrave to support me as I'm learning how to eat in a healthy way.
Howeverrrrr. No one ever told me how difficult it is to believe that I'm actually losing weight, that I'm getting smaller instead of gaining weight. I feel like I don't deserve this and that I'm a fool thinking that this might work. Like it's all a lie and that I will - sooner or later - face the consequences, as if I was guilty of something. At the same time I understand that I'm doing nothing wrong but still. It just feels so unreal.

My aim was to stop the constant snacking and binge eating that I used to do because of stress. But after getting diagnosed and cutting out the sugar and carbs, I don't even feel hungry enough to have 3 meals in a day. I have to force myself to eat lunch and dinner. I have dropped the habit of having breakfast entirely since the last 2-3 days and sometimes I feel nauseous merely at the thought of eating. I really don't understand how my body went from hogging food all day to barely eating anything. Is it a side effect of going cold turkey or something else? Am I developing an eating disorder?

I just want to let you guys know Ozempic is working for me and this community has been so helpful so I want to give back.
I have hypothyroidism and insulin resistance and a history of restrictive disordered eating/ED (orthorexia.) Also CPTSD and depression. BMI is high thirties but I’m super muscular. Prediabetic at 5.7 A1C. Long history of doing a lot of mental health therapy and meditation, yoga, dance, working out, every holistic thing on the planet, and even too healthy of a diet to the point it was causing mental distress.
I did four weeks each on .25 and .5. And the results are in:
-Daily loose stool I’ve had for years is gone within days of starting first dose.
-Depression that can be severe occurs notably less severe and often. There is an element of just not seeming to care as much or being too tired to care.
-Waking up in the morning is significantly easier. This has been a major issue as I am extremely groggy and even confused in the mornings and can’t wake up even when it’s important. It makes me late to work often. But I’m waking up a lot more refreshed.
-Seems to have increased REM sleep because I am dreaming much more often. I used to sleep well and score in the low eighties or high seventies according to my Fitbit before Oz but I haven’t worn it since starting Ozempic and need to retest it now. I used to be slightly low in REM compared to deep and light sleep but mostly within normal range.
-Appetite significantly suppressed and was eating less.
-Continued eating almost like normal otherwise and continued working out intensely a few hours per week and continuing my healthy lifestyle. Was afraid to drink but never drank a lot in the first place. The few drinks I had didn’t affect me too much.
-Side effects blessedly minimal with mild nausea 2-3x a week or so that I can tie to hunger pains reimagined by my brain. One chewable pepto gets rid of it.
-More fatigued during the day somehow but not sleepy. I’ve also worked really hard last year, so I’m burnt out and this could be the cause instead of the medicine. I’m resting a lot more.
-Fluctuating weight that seemed to be trending downward but I not a significant loss overall, up to ten pounds between highest and lowest weight but I weigh in the high 200s so not big for me. And it really goes up and down a lot.
-I have lost over a foot in inches according to methreesixty! I feel slimmer to the touch. I can really see it in the app.
Just started 1mg a week and two days ago. Since then:
-Weight loss seems to be really starting to kick in. A little too early to tell due to fluctuations but I it looks very promising.
-I can usually only eat twice a day instead of three times. Food is not super interesting to me. Never was actually, and before Oz eating felt like a chore sometimes. I’m relieved to not be physically hungry as I’m not mentally hungry.
-One day I did have pretty bad diarrhea with cold sweats and had to take an Imodium after having one drink and some fried chicken the night before. Unsure if that was just more like food poisoning or what because alcohol and fried foods didn’t bother me in the low doses.
-Sick with a sinus infection now so I can’t tell how I’m doing beyond this yet.
TL;DR doctors suck sometimes. My OB gyn PA originally said she would write me a prescription for this years ago, and I wish I had started then. She had the good sense to check me for insulin resistance when my A1c was normal, and I did have prediabetes back then, but I had to started drinking more with a group of friends, and when I stopped drinking a few months later my A1C was totally normal again.
I was still thinking that I could do this myself, and was judging myself more than I care to admit now. I was offended by the suggestion I was that fat because I’m constantly offended by the fat phobia in our society, and people thinking I don’t live a healthy lifestyle or am not fit, because I am very fit and very healthy overall. Gave myself a damn eating disorder trying so hard. She is the one that I ended up messaging to get this prescription two or so years later as I’m still her patient. The sub and others like it have helped me realize that I really have medical conditions that I was trying to just white knuckle. I’m still getting used to the fact that I deserve help and trying to understand that I’m worthy of it. I sometimes wonder if whatever this drug does increases our sense of worthiness somehow because I find it really interesting how it works for addicts, too, and worthiness is often a main issue with addiction.
The first doctor I asked about this when I decided to do it basically told me that some people can die, and that he doesn’t recommend it because one of the side effects can be death. He insisted that insurance didn’t cover it. At the end he didn’t even put in my prescription for Wegovy I asked for as discussed until I messaged him afterwards, and then he finally put the prescription in but he still never did the prior authorization according the the pharmacy. I realized some doctors just don’t want to do this.
My other doc frustrated me so I messaged my original Doctor who suggested it. She had the prior authorization in immediately. I ended up asking for Ozempic because it seemed easiest to get. My insurance covers this completely for me with a $35 per co-pay. I have Blue Cross Blue Shield federal. So yes, some doctors suck. Get you a new doctor. I messaged the one that wasn’t supportive and let him know that it was covered, and I never received a reply. Ha ha.

My labour didn't go well I had a hemorrhage.
A little about my family situation.
I have 2 sets of parents and my husband.
I am the only child between my parents - they have other children whom were never in contact with me.
My Dad has stopped talking to me, after he left my Mum.
My Mum after being pregnant with my first child made me realise what a cruel person she is. I understand she is old, has health problems and her partner my father left her. But I can't stand how she treats me after 30 or so years. I just can't continue.
Comments with first child "I won't stop shouting at you, because it'll strengthen you for labour" "I don't care if you die in a fire...you need to do xyz for me"
After this comment below I distanced myself with my Mum. "How dare you steal what I had, the 2 children a husband and a house, you stole my life from me and now are living it"
My husband is a Mama's boy. He's cheated on me. Never stands up for me. But he cooks, cleans the house, provides income - so I want to try until I find a job. I also cook and clean and I have savings which I use to provide income from.
My husband's parents I invited them to our house, cooked batch food, they didn't like it because it wasn't fresh. My MIL got me to cook 5 different breakfasts and after I finished she said she is fasting cause she has gas. My FIL hinted why I didn't abort my baby since she has a rare skin disorder. My MIL found it funny to heat stroke my baby by forcing me to stay in park - then my FIL wanted to go sight seeing and was upset with my baby crying all night. My MIL secretly took photos and videos of my toddler when I confronted her - she and FIL said that they can share and send photos to who ever they want - I had a huge panic attack and got my husband to delete them. - they wanted to show pictures to my BIL and his wife who have had a miscarriage and find it difficult to have children...
I had a best friend she never talks anymore I'm guessing she got arranged married.
What I want: In essence I have 0 people right now in my life. I need to survive for my children. How should I care for myself in my situation. Right now going out is very hard with one toddler and a baby who has sunlight sensitivity. But I will try to join groups etc. But before I do that how do I help myself.
Thanks

Confusing title, I know.
I used to struggle with self-hatred among many other things. I used to have such terrible negative self-talk stemming from growing up in a bad home, severe bullying in school and extreme social isolation in my youth. I'm proud to say I overcame a lot of it - learned to treat myself good, learned to set boundaries, learned to be my own best friend. And now at 36 years old I have realized a lot of the things I dreamed of. It's not been a bad life.
But it hasn't all been success and dreams realized. There's been failure too - so, so much failure and loss. To be frank - I'm just objectively less capable and less likeable than the average man. I can't think of a way or a label to describe it without it making it sound like plain old self-deprecation. The I don't know if it's some kind of disorder, 'bad genes', upbringing or any combination thereof and at this point in life I don't really care either - the fact is that my flaws are numerous, and they impact my life greatly. And while I do sometimes find a sense of pride in achieving so much despite those obstacles, the main feelings I have about it are fear and resentment. The fear that doing my best just won't be enough, which it very often isn't, and that eventually some failure brought on by my flaws will be too big to recover from and that I will lose everything. It's not an abstract fear either. The risks to my business because of my flaws are very concrete and real. The strain my flaws put on my marriage are real - I know my wife makes a genuine effort to love me, and I appreciate it, but I also see that sometimes my awkwardness, my lack of everyday competence and other flaws make that extremely challenging for her. There have been times when her frustration with me reached such levels that she was seriously considering separation. I do my best to deal with all of it, but I'm not always successful and the stakes are enormous. And the resentment is for having to live with those flaws, living in a world where they make it so that my best is often just not enough.
I do my best to love myself and take care of myself, but taking care of myself often feels like taking care of a disabled person. My mother at the end of her life suffered from dementia and I was her primary caretaker. It was hell. I didn't hate her for her illness, but it was an extremely difficult several years for me. And now I realize that taking care of myself feels exactly like that - constantly having to be aware of my issues, constantly having to work around them and sacrifice things for it, and constantly suffering the consequences of having them. I didn't hate my mother but sure as hell wished for a life where she wouldn't have had dementia and I wouldn't have needed to take of her. Similarly, I don't hate myself for being "not as good" as other men, but I sure wish I had a life where I didn't have to deal with that.
I'm not sure what kind of guidance I'm seeking. Just venting out, I guess.

I'm Nox, I'm from India. I'm 22 yo female. I'm looking for a man in finance, trust fund, 6'5", blue eyes (just kidding lol)
I'm looking for friends, I don't mind relationship either but we'll figure that out with time I guess?
I LOVE READING (wrote it in bold so you don't miss this point hehe) and I love watching shows, especially rewatching some of my comfort shows like GILMORE GIRLS, MODERN FAMILY, the IT crowd etc.
I read a lot, fiction mostly. I like coding, learning new stuff.
When it comes to music I love Taylor Swift and my current favorite band is Radiohead, I listen to other artists too (I'll name them if you ask!)
I used to watch F1 and I'm a Ferrari fan but I stopped watching because I couldn't find a reliable streaming source :(
I love animals & can't stop myself from petting stray cats & dogs hehe
I'm 5'5", have short black hair, big eyes.
I would also like to tell beforehand that I have borderline personality disorder which kinda makes it difficult for me to maintain relations, but I am working on it and trying my best!
Dm me ONLY if you're in the age range of 20-25 and have at least some similar interests as me or are interested in me

This might be the wrong sub, but I don't care at this point. I'm 19 yo, visited a psych clinic alone today to get an initial assessment (which costed Php1,500) particularly for ADHD. It was a 1-hour session.
I have all of the symptoms for the inattentive type listed in the DSM5 criteria. I have at least 3 friends who also have symptoms. They think I might have it. I think (thought?) I have it. My father also has symptoms.
I thought it was a great session at first, I got assessed and it appeared I have some severe symptoms for some mental conditions (depression & dissociation, particularly) just as I fully expected. But when the psychometrist said "Huwag kang mag-alala, wala kang ADHD. Di ka makaka-sit still nang ganyan kung meron (I noticed I fidgeted but I didn't move around the couch)" it upset and broke me. Nagulat nalang ako na I was on the verge of tears na. In my head I was like "Not having that one symptom meant I didn't have it at all? Then what the heck am I??"
Two years ago I had cycled between thinking "Huh, maybe I have ADHD" and "Nah, it might be something else', and I did consider Autism but if I couldn't possibly have ADHD then that was even less likely. I simply could not resonate with any other condition/disorder.
The past two years I did not have the money, but now that I'm a scholar I decided I should try it. It was an impulsive decision. Three days before the visit they asked me to pay in advance and I immediately sent them it without questions. I really really am so fed up of every mess I do and I thought I really needed a diagnosis so I could finally get medicated because I know I can't stand any other treatment and it seemed to worked wonders according to content creators who are diagnosed with the condition. The session was just the psychometrist asking questions and filling up forms for one hour, yet it costed 15x my daily allowance nung high shool. Result? I got advice I could've gotten from the internet (i.e. The 5-minute thingy, and continuing with my coping mechanisms) thought I would feel more connected with myself once I had an initial assessment but somehow now I feel dejected.
I assumed the Php1,500 covered the entire ordeal but the psychometrist said the next session will cost a little more because then some tools will be used. I'm mad at them and I'm mad at myself and if this is how it's like everywhere then how are people supposed to get treated? I'm both upset about the cost and the hasty conclusion that I didn't have ADHD. I've been typing this for like an hour I could've finished three of my school activities in that time but snejdhahhrndj I hate this place
TLDR; Paid Php1,500 for an initial assessment, got told I don't have ADHD by a registered professional because I didn't fidget enough(?), realised this is too expensive for what it's worth, and now I feel useless and stupid for subscribing to that service.

Hi all. Long time listener, first time caller. On mobile so sorry for whatever that causes that I see other people frequently apologize for. Formatting?
This is going to be a lot long, apologies in advance. I have suffered from PTSD/CPTSD, GAD, and treatment resistant major depressive disorder for most of my teenage and adult life, or at least that's what the diagnoses are. I'm 34, bio female.
I lived a rough home life and moved out at 16, was homeless for a while at 17. This is just to say that I did have bad things going on, so the problems were not completely internal. But then I got a place and a job and my boyfriend at the time eventually stopped being physically abusive (not making any excuses, he was a bag of shit), but my life was going relatively smoothly at the moment, though still a bunch of unresolved trauma of course. Then thing kept getting worse mentally. Quit my job, went on disability, lost the ability to leave the house, and then after six months almost bed bound and two weeks of non stop crying I started my first antidepressant. Back story over, I promise.
I started with mirtazapine which worked wonders at the beginning. It gradually lost its effect, raised the dose until we couldn't anymore. Tried escitalopram and serroquil, couldn't handle the immediate side effects and didn't wait the weeks to let the meds start to work. For info escitalopram made the physical symptoms of anxiety go into overdrive (mostly racing heart) and serroquil made me unspeakably angry. I'd try escitalopram again, I feel at the time I didn't have the recreational drug experience to just ride it out. I do now.
Stayed on mirtazapine for over ten years, it clearly wasn't doing anything for me though. Was just afraid to stop or try something new. Spent a few years self medicating with coke and mdma while holding a job that I loved and was literally living my best life, and I was so functional! My job was abnormal and let me work when I could, I knew I still couldn't handle 9-5 5/7, but I was happy. In this time I'd also tried a lot of therapy.
Some time before the pandemic I stopped using recreational drugs, and then my work closed because pandemic. I started to really slip back down. My partner (at the time and now) had also done some retraumatizing due to his coke addiction (why we both stopped, he was never abusive, just lied about stuff, and is the most amazing partner now). I started Zoloft. The first day I felt like I had taken a bunch of M, spent half the day freaking out until reddit told me I wasn't alone. Zoloft worked wonders for me. Until after about a year, and it stopped.
Since then, we've tried abilify as an addition to the Zoloft (also really helped at first, then stopped). Keeping the abilify, I have also tried wellbutrin (did nothing, not even a side effect), Prozac (was effing allergic, boo), citalopram, and just tapered off citalopram and started Effexor. Also got rid of the abilify about a month ago because I couldn't afford it and I didn't feel it was doing much, and I'm not missing it. Taper from both citalopram and abilify was very manageable.
This whole time I've also had lorazepam to manage anxiety emergencies, and it has always been extremely useful when I need it.
I have also spent the last few years trying to get an adhd diagnosis, to limited avail. My psychiatrist finally gave in, told me I'd "jumped through enough hoops", and I started Adderall over two months ago. It has allowed me, for the most part, to get my shit done without feeling overwhelmed and shutting down.
Now here are my thoughts/questions (finally, I am so sorry). Except for the brief periods when I started mirtazapine and then later Zoloft, I have felt this background glumness that pervades everything. I think it's emotional bunting, except I am fully capable of feeling bad things if I'm drunk. I'm also tired of the weight gain and sexual dysfunction. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope with antidepressants (I once thought I'd be on them forever). I no longer know where my baseline mental health is and what are actually constant side effects/withdrawal from ssris/snris. I tried a couple years ago to wait a month on nothing between Zoloft and wellbutrin (my doctor made me keep the abilify) and it got really bad. But the withdrawal from Zoloft was so bad (brain zaps, intense paranoia, SI, intense moods) that I feel like I didn't get past that hump. And now with the Effexor, I slept in the other day and took my pill 5 hours late and was a mess all day with vertigo and really low mood. I'm tired of the mental and physical toll antidepressants have taken on me.
Now that I have the Adderall and can function, I'm wondering how much of my depression/anxiety was coming from just not being able to get through my regular responsibilities and self care without drowning. I can do these things now, and I havey lorazepam for anxiety/PTSD emergencies.
I have an appointment with my doctor next week where I plan to discuss all of this but, what do you guys think. Is there a chance the antidepressants have just been making me worse? I clearly have trauma but could untreated ADHD have caused a lot of the major depressive symptoms? Is it worth it to try to stop them altogether (I'm on the min dose of Effexor as of two weeks ago, no abilify) and just keep going with the Adderall. Is it possible to stop them completely but maybe go back on them for shorter periods if I'm having an MDD episode? Hell is it worth it to just quit antidepressants and just do MDMA a few times a year (I used to get great stuff and never crashed after, always felt great for days after a roll). Have any of you ever been in a similar situation and can share your experience so I feel less alone? I feel like I'm doomed to cycle through antidepressants forever and never really be happy and just have to keep going through withdrawals plus side effects when one stops working and I have to start another. But I'm scared that things could get really bad again if I stop. I run a business with my partner now and we are losing our one employee so it'll just be us and I'm afraid I'll screw our livelihood with an extended episode. I just don't know what to do. If you have any advice, any meds I haven't tried that you feel are worth a shot given my history, any therapies I haven't tried, any hopeful stories, or tales of caution, anything, I feel lost.
For what it's worth, for therapy I've done CBT (didn't finish) DBT (super helpful) and extensive talk and trauma therapy. Still have a therapist but can only see her once a month due to finances. I have a great relationship, great home, great job, dogs, cats, my life on paper is amazing. I'd really like to know that beyond objectively.
I also drink moderately, no weed, went through a phase with shrooms (microdosing and larger doses), not against doing them again, no other drugs at all, not even caffeine.
I'm so sorry that this has been so long, I didn't know how else to do it. If you've made it this far I can't thank you enough for taking the time and energy to try to help or sympathize with a complete stranger, you are an absolute gem.

Hey everyone, I'm a 17 year old girl from Ireland, and I really need some guidance. Here, when you're under 18 and suspected of having mental health issues, you have to see CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services). I’ve been in and out of their system since I was about 12 because they suspected mental illness. Every time, I ended up refusing their treatment, but then I'd find myself forced to go back a couple of years later.
Recently, things got more complicated. I was in court for stealing alcohol among a few other offences. I’m turning 18 this August, and now the court wants me to undergo a mental health evaluation by CAMHS because they think I might have a personality disorder. They’ve told me that if I refuse this evaluation after I turn 18, I could be facing nine months in a female prison. This is all because one of my bail conditions is that I must see a psychiatrist.
Honestly? I don’t want any diagnosis. I was diagnosed with autism when I was younger, and I feel like it’s only ever been used against me. I’ve agreed to probation and a two year suspended sentence, but the court won’t accept this unless I go through with the psychiatric assessment.
The last time I was evaluated by them, I ended up hospitalized just because I argued about not wanting to talk to them. They made me out to be crazy or not in my right mind because of it. I feel like this is so unfair. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want more labels that haven't helped me, just made things worse. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been in a similar situation? What should I do?

This post has been adapted from Eft Universe, written by Sonia Novinsky. It's a long post, but a brilliant case study proving psychotic disorders can in fact be healed.
Jacqueline came to me about 1 year ago. She had been diagnosed as a schizophrenic with auditory hallucinations, depression, and an inability to operate in social environments. Now, the hallucinations are gone and she is well adapted to society. Along the way, many other benefits occurred, including relief from anorexia and the cessation of smoking. Here’s the story.
She arrived in a very depressive state, saying to me: “This is my last chance. And all I can pay is 10 dollars per session.” It was impossible to refuse her desperate appeal for help. She said…
“For 9 years now, since my daughter was born, I am taking Haldol, Prozac and other medications because psychiatrists considered me an incurable schizophrenic patient. I’ve been sleeping most of my daytime during all these years. After a traumatic event when my daughter was born, I fell into a depression. I started listening to Mary’s voice (Jesus’s mother) [diagnosed by her former psychiatrist as an auditory hallucination] and I had some inappropriate behaviours, including a kind of anorexia, with hospitalisation. I heard about your work with energy and I want to try it. I believe that this could help me get rid of medication and my disease. The only reason I don’t kill myself today is because my religion forbids me to do it.”
At the first moment, she told me that she had a supportive husband and parents, and also wonderful children and that made her feel more guilty for being a mentally ill person. She complained of smoking too much, of having difficulty resting and sleeping. She said she was also 30 kg more than her ideal weight, partly because of the antipsychotic medication. During the last 9 years she had been afraid to drive a car; before her crisis, driving was normal for her.
The last psychiatrist she saw was very oppressive, telling her she had an incurable mental illness and would be obliged to take Haldol for the rest of her life. When she arrived at my office, she was very angry with all psychiatrists and therapists who took care of her during all these years. They gave her no hope: just labels and drugs.
Before investigating core issues, I worked for some weeks on our rapport, trying to help her on her self-esteem and trying to develop some trust in our connection. She was very upset with the kind of relationship she had with her psychiatrists and therapists. A hierarchy was always present, and she was the inferior part of it, all the time. Her objections about the treatment were never validated by them.
In this case, it is very important to stress how strong was her intention to get rid of any medication because they condemned her to be out of a normal life.
I will give a summary of the main topics we worked with in EFT. We did EFT hundreds of times. I do a free talk while tapping, in a way that I can’t reproduce here, introducing humour and installing new meanings and possibilities. She was entirely open to working with EFT.
We started working with the most apparent sensation she was having at the moment she arrived. In my experience, you can start with this state, even if it is not a core issue. When this layer is reached, even if you don’t clear it completely, it gives room for the traumatic memories to show up.
Meanwhile, you get the basic trust needed to work deeply. So we started working on her self-image and self-esteem.
While we were tapping, I installed some reframing about how I was one with her, no hierarchy between us, how we were together and no label separating us.
The result was important for the rest of the treatment: She trusted that she was not alone and that I was assuming a strong, deep, and personal commitment with her.
She disclosed that when her daughter was born she was very upset with some events and we tapped on them. The worst one (which launched her first psychotic episode) was her husband’s imposition that his mother should be the godmother of her daughter. When Jacqueline went to see her mother-in-law to invite her, her reaction was very negative. She said: “I accept to be the godmother but I will not receive your family in my house.” This was a traumatic event for Jacqueline.
She felt very unhappy, with no way out, and thus she had her first psychotic attack. She undressed completely at a soccer stadium full of people.
We tapped for this event, and many aspects showed up. We tapped for the shame and guilt of not having control of her behaviour. While she was narrating the event, I tapped on her. This is my preferred way of tapping specific events. This one was a very traumatic event, but finally her husband agreed to her demand that his mother would not do the baptism of their daughter.
Thus she was victorious in some way, but she paid a high price for this “victory”: From this day on, she carried the label of a sick person. Two months later, her mother-in-law died suddenly and that gave Jacqueline the illusion of having a mean power inside her, and that made her still more guilty. In some way, Jacqueline felt she had no control over herself but from another point of view she was afraid of having some extraordinary power.
Jacqueline wanted to drive a car again. She felt ready to try it after clearing her psychotic attack and its consequences*.* So we tapped for the fear of driving, first at my office, then in her car.
Some aspects of her fear were: fear of losing control, fear of hitting the car, fear of hitting some one on the streets, fear of killing someone.
We made a test. We went inside her car and tapped in the car for any aspect, like “heart jumping too fast,” “I am not able to drive anymore,” etc. With me at her side, in the car, she drove the car by herself. After a couple of minutes, she was very calm, driving the car. Since that day she has been driving the car with no problem, with her children. Sao Paulo (my home) has very dangerous and wild traffic. Many normal people don’t drive cars here. But she does it now.
Schizophrenia is caused sometimes by double messages received mainly during childhood. Since her birth we could find many situations where double messages were received. Clearing all these double messages of Jacqueline’s life, from her birth until now, it was essential to allow her to see everything in a different way and to create a more integrated identity.
Jacqueline was the first child. Her father (Italian origin) wanted only a male child. When Jacqueline was born her mother felt in some way not comfortable with the fact that she couldn’t give her husband a boy. At the beginning of her life, Jacqueline felt no holding, no sensation of being desired. Eleven months after her birth, her mother gave birth to a boy who received all the attention of the parents. Jacqueline was most of the time with a single aunt that had a strong passion for a Catholic priest at that time.
We tapped for all events and sensations Jacqueline could remember that were related to this belief of not being wanted, of not deserving love, of being guilty for not being the boy her parents were waiting for. The strategy Jacqueline found was trying to persuade her father that she was good enough like a boy would be, and to do so she became too close to him and that made her mother very jealous and ambivalent toward her.
Investigating it more, I discovered that when Jacqueline had her crisis, after the birth of her daughter, she was feeling guilty and not deserving of having two healthy children, a boy and a girl. This was connected with a specific and important event that we addressed in each detail.
When she was 18 years old, she was dating her future husband and she got pregnant. As she was very religious and she wanted to become a mother, she didn’t want to get an abortion. But her husband, Leo, said that he would stay with her only if she got the abortion.
She postponed it as much as she could. She felt under a big pressure. She didn’t want to lose Leo and didn’t want to lose her child. She talked with her parents and they agreed with the abortion. So she did it. It was a very traumatic event for her. She felt guilty for the abortion, felt enraged with Leo, who didn’t go with her to the clinic, and felt very uncomfortable with her father. After the abortion, he was very critical of her. Their parents were supportive on one side, but on the other they were very severe and full of deception.
We tapped for each aspect of this event: the blood she saw, the place where she lay down, the light of the room, the questions the doctor asked her, the ambivalent sight of her mother, the feeling of abandonment because Leo was not there, the guilt of killing a 4-month-old fetus.
We discovered that her anorexia was connected with the blood she saw at the abortion. From that day, she started feeding herself in a more balanced way and started losing the extra weight she had at the beginning of the treatment.
We could see at that moment how the mother-in-law event triggered the abortion trauma, guilt, and anger. When her husband made this second imposition to her, “My mother will baptise my daughter,” she fell apart and collapsed. From that day, she started hallucinating and having inappropriate behaviours. One manifestation of this behaviour was a passion for a Catholic priest (like her dear aunt in the past), who held her in a compassionate way at the church.
In my point of view, the main issue for Jacqueline was not being held since the beginning of her life, and this fact was repeated many times, maybe because the writings on her walls were like these: “I don’t deserve to be loved, I don’t deserve to be held, there is something wrong with me, I should be different to be accepted, I am inappropriate, I have some strange powers that can harm people, etc.”
What was interesting is that when we cleared all aspects of the guilt of the abortion, including the guilt of having healthy children and the guilt of being alive (she used to talk of suicide as a self-punishment), that same week her anxiety stopped, her voice became more calm, and she stopped smoking.
I think the most important piece of this therapy was the possibility she opened for me to have a deep rapport with her while tapping. She started believing that she was a person, not a sickness, and as far as this occurred, her own family started to legitimate her as a mother, a professional, and a complete human being. She felt the self-confidence to restart her professional life. For 10 years her family and Leo’s family considered Leo the best husband, almost an angel, and Jacqueline was the crazy one, the problem. The whole system around her changed when she changed.
Some months ago she gave me a long written testimony (in Portuguese), about her issues and her treatment, confirming some of the results I have written here. Her intention was to help other people who could profit from her experience. On one of the last days, she completed the testimony verbally. I quote her words:
“For the first time in my life I feel peace in my heart. I have difficulties with my son and with my husband, but they don’t disturb my peace. I want to live like a normal woman and like a helper, for this I am praying and serving as a volunteer in a hospital.
“For the first time people trust me again. I was elected to the directory board of my club, and possibly I will be a candidate for a public position in the near future. I am free from the obsession for the priest. I know it because I went to see him in the church and could see him only as the priest he is. I don’t need smoking or the voices I used to listen to. I can remember the abortion without guilt. I couldn’t have a child for myself at that moment. I feel free from the double messages my husband used to send to me all the time, saying he loved me but excluding me from his life and problems and pleasures. I feel ready to take care of myself, and to take care of my children. I am living each day, not anticipating the worst like I used to. The pressure I felt in my heart is gone. I feel as healthy as anyone in this life, even if I need therapy for some more time.”
In conclusion, I think that what was decisive was EFT plus the holding she felt because I could accept, without any judgment, her passion and fantasies for the priest, her wish to die, and her fear of getting crazy, and her deep pain out of any category or classification that could separate us.

I took a step back from them when I left for college and we weren't happy when I lived with them.
Cast: Dad - ex-cop who's still angry at his dad Mom - former teen mom hates her step-dad Sister - married and had a baby with a domestic abuser Brother - born with low oxygen but tries to make it through life Me - serious illness but unwilling to be helpless
Growing up was a lot of fighting between my mom and whoever she hated that day. I used to lock myself in my bedroom to hide. My dad tried to show surface level affection, my mom did not.
I've done years of individual counseling, therapy, and psychiatry. My only diagnosis are mood disorders that I'm medicated for.
I really think I'm not the only one suffering from mental illness. I proposed family thapy but he's ignoring me.
I'd like to have a family but there are things I can't just let go of. What do I do?

As much as my Eating Disorder is an addiction, I feel like I also have an obsession with consuming health and nutrition media. I don’t have any other hobbies on the internet; instead, I use Reddit to look at diets, food, and workouts.
Ever since I met my boyfriend, I used to be open with him and could talk to him. But recently, he doesn’t want to engage with me on topics about food, weight, etc. He told me that every day when we talk about it, the conversations just feed into the Eating Disorder.
I’m having trouble finding other interests, and I don’t know where to start. I can’t focus on anything that doesn’t include my Eating Disorder, and it’s really hard to engage with normal activities.

(I posted this yesterday but got scared and deleted it. Here is it reposted).
I'm only going to give some examples of what my mom would do to me as a child. It is a big step for me to even admit that I was abused because I have had so many people tell me that what happened to me is completely normal and I'm just throwing words around. Others have told me that every mother has high expectations of their daughter and I need to get over it. Then others have also told me that this is a severe form of abuse that no one should ever face. I don't know what I believe but I know for a fact that I am traumatized and cannot move on.
Starting from the least harsh of examples if I were to wake up in the middle of the night even if I just needed to pee she would scream at me from across the apartment to get my ass to bed. I really needed to pee some nights but I knew she would scream if I did so I resorted to not using the bathroom even when I really needed it. This resulted in my child self wetting myself and sitting like that all night to the point where I was getting rashes. My mom would then get so angry at me over the rashes and force me to smell my underwear by shoving it in my face and wouldn't let me leave until I smelled it. I felt like a failure. These punishments would move on to me being consistently smacked in the face when I messed up. One night I woke up in the middle of the night and got up and accidentally made a lot of noise and woke my mom up. She got so angry and was screaming for me to come to her room. I stood in the doorway shaking afraid. She kept repeating "Come here" so I admitted that I was afraid she was going to smack me. She said "I'm not gonna smack you" so I believed her and walked in. Once I got up to her she smacked me in the face over and over again. I couldn't do anything but just sit there feeling like I deserved it. The smacking would continue even for the smallest of things I did wrong.
One time in my latter half of elementary school my father found out that my mother was smacking me (my parents split when I was a toddler). He's not any better by any means, he is actually worse because he is extremely manipulative and has used my sisters against me but that's for another time. He told me I needed to report to my school that this was happening. I didn't want to tell the school but my dad pushed so I did. CPS was called and I was pulled out of class to be spoken to. When I got home my mom was a mess in tears saying how dare I do this to her? How dare I ruin her life? I felt like a horrible excuse for a human being knowing I made a mistake and should have kept my mouth shut. My mom went to court with my dad and she ended up winning due to lack of evidence to what I reported and the agreement decided that my dad "manipulated me into fabricating lies about my mother."
Things only got worse by middle school. I was constantly bullied and my mom told me to just deal with it. This was also when I first started having several medical problems mostly within my stomach. I was in pain all the time so I had to go see doctors. This continued into high school. My mom would constantly complain and complain and complain about my medical bills and how much they were ruining her life. She said it wasn't fair for her to have to pay so much in medical bills for me and that I was destroying her financially. I felt horrible. She also resorted to pointing out all the flaws in my appearance and picking apart how I looked. That is the part some people say every mother says. Some other things she would do is just throw things and rip things up when she was angry. There were also some nights at dinner that if I angered her she would throw and break all of the plates and say it was my fault for pushing her. She would also drink a lot of wine every single night. One time she was mad at me over something and ripped up my science homework. I told her it was homework and she said she didn't care. The next day I told the teacher but he did not believe me for a second. If you're wondering what teachers did about this, nothing. I would tell my school social worker what was happening and she would refuse to report saying "Parents are allowed to hit their children." One day I was simply too scared to go home and was begging the social worker to do something. Since she didn't want me going to the police she decided to call the hospital for me to be there for my safety. For some reason, however, I was put under suicide watch when I was not suicidal. I had been in the past but at this time I was not. The worst part is my mom was told absolutely everything including the idea that I was suicidal which was false. When I was finally free to go home my mom just complained about how I ruined her day and how she had to leave work early because of me. She then got so angry with me when she received the ambulance bill and wouldn't let it drop for a long time.
Now I am about to turn 21 and I'm about to enter my senior year of college. I have had to return home because I need somewhere to go during the vacations. My mom continues to constantly insult my appearance criticizing me, tearing me apart. Yet she tries to have a good relationship with me but I can't move on and I know that sounds selfish. A few months ago my mom and stepdad told me that once my mom gets old and stepdad is no longer around, I will be responsible for returning home and taking care of my mother. I also have a younger half-sister who was often the golden child and my mom would always go on about how perfect she is. She has spent so much money on her and her activities and she has been given more. I don't blame her for it in any way though and I love her with all my heart. I asked why it couldn't be her and they responded that it is my responsibility because I am the oldest. I just kept quiet and said okay but inside I was panicking. How could I deal with this? My stepdad reminded me of it later saying "I want you to take care of her because she took care of you your entire life. You owe her." My family has this huge belief that children inherently owe their parents for feeding them, clothing them, housing them, etc. They believe that it's a form of debt to be repaid. I'm glad it's at least not monetary because they refused to help me pay for college and I'll be $77k in student debt (thankfully I'm on a plan where the majority will be paid off in just 15 years). The point is I don't know how to deal with this. It's true she fed me and gave me a home but everything else she has done sits at the back of my head. Who knows what else she'll start saying to me when she gets older?
I thankfully have a partner who I'm going to be living with once I graduate. He says not to even bother with taking care of her and to just put her in a home. The thing is I know she'll never forgive me if I do such a thing and it will eat at my soul forever. Even after everything she's done, she is still my mother and she still provided for me. A lot of the people I know say it's despicable to not take care of your mother no matter what she does to you. Like I said I often question if I was even actually abused or if I'm just being dramatic and trying to be woe is me. My mom accuses me of that all the time, saying I'm just trying to be sad and having a victim complex. I have been in therapy for years for Depression, Anxiety disorder, PTSD, and some other things. I feel so stuck right now and I'm still fighting my thoughts because no matter how hard I try I can't just move on from what she has said and done to me.

Okay, so I thought it'd be fun to share my headcanons for as many characters I can remember!!! ^{^} (Also featuring my self insert probably because meeee!! As well as another oc)
I'm not going to include Ellsworld in this post because I think it will already be very long.
Starting with: Edd! - Edd is a fat person. He isn't unhealthy, he just has a slow metabolism and loses weight very slowly! He is a pansexual aromantic cis guy who prefers being friends rather than lovers. He was blessed with Ringo by the CDS (Cat Distribution System) and saved her from being on the streets. She encourages him to take care of himself so he can take care of her. Edd has ADHD but he's unmedicated by choice.
Matt! - Matt focuses a lot on his looks. He works out every night, preferring the 24 hr gym that they live nearby. He's pansexual and genderfluid! He loves drag and his drag name is Battilda [Bat-tilda] (Like Matilda, but BATTY!!) He is dating Starla! Matt is autistic!
Tom! - Tom has a beer belly and is on the hairier side. He hates working out, but he goes with Matt and Starla anyway. He's a bisexual man who likes dogs more than he likes cats, but he has a soft spot for Ringo. Tom suffers from borderline personality disorder and depression.
Tord! - Tord is a little more on the lean side. He's incredibly smart and uses it to his advantage as often as possible. His teeth are stained yellow from smoking. He's a pansexual trans man with a preference for men. He dated Tom, Matt, and Edd all at least once. He left after he began dating Patryck and Paul!
Eduardo! - Eduardo is a little skinnier than Edd. He's slightly muscular with a small bit of chub. He makes fun of Edd, but he never insults his weight since he was bullied as a kid for being fat. He saved Doguardo from a kill shelter and loves that dog more than anything. He's a gay man who's dating Laurel.
Mark! - Mark has a fragile build. He wears contacts because he hates his glasses. He is friends with Matt and is dating Frey (an oc). He's a gay cis man.
Jon! - Dead.
Patryck! - Patryck is very skilled in weaponry. He loves guns and studied the use of guns all throughout school. He's autistic with guns as his special interest. He's a bisexual transmasc using He/It pronouns.
Paul! - Paul is a mute who lost his eye during the zombie apocolypse. He is a gay cis man who supports his boyfriends through anything. He struggles to properly express emotions.
Laurel! - Laurel is a street artist who skates and loves spending time with Eduardo. They're a transmasc person who keeps their sexuality and romantic orientation as unlabeled. They enjoy creating beautiful murals around the city and are very elusive.
Fun Dead Kid! - FDK is named Fredrick but he prefers being called FDK. He's 12 years old and was adopted by Kim and Katya after the zombie apocolypse. He has autism and is deaf.
Kim and Katya! - Kim and Katya are married lesbians. They adopted FDK and are very loving mothers. Kim is autistic and Katya had undiagnosed ADHD. They help each other with their struggles and spend every night with FDK to wind down. Kim is a drag king who's stage name is Ken.
Waitress from WTFuture - Her name is Honey and she is an aroace cis woman who is very uncomfortable with being flirted with. She is very sweet and polite unless her boundaries are crossed.
Hellucard - Hellucard is one of Edd's online friends that just happens to live near by. He always says hey to Edd, often getting his words mixed up and saying "Ey Hedd" instead. He has a speech impediment that he goes to speech therapy for.
Bing and Larry - Bing and Larry are a homosexual couple. Larry is one of the only people who can put up with Bing's eccentric personality. Bing often overworks and stresses himself out, causing burnouts that last weeks and sometimes months. Larry is very supportive of his husband and shows his love through stupid little insults that aren't meant to hurt Bing's feelings.

The Self Deprecation Argument: If I was gay, then I would make comments where I express resentment towards myself for being gay. Which I haven't.
The Clarity Argument: If I deny being gay, that doesn't mean that I'm doing so because I'm gay myself, but because I want to clear up misunderstandings.
The Lifespan Argument: If I came out as gay, then my family and friends would bully me, but I wouldn't get killed. So what am I afraid of?
The Silence Argument: How can I be gay if I didn't know what LGBTQI2+ was before I was exposed to it in 2020. If you argue that I'm scared of being bullied, then that wouldn't matter because all the conflicts I've been through, both physical and digital pass by.
The Genuine Concern Argument: What if I hate gay people not because I'm projecting, but because I genuinely believe that LGBTQI2+ people are insane? I would show genuine concern towards them because of both secular and religious arguments against LGBTQI2+.
The Loneliness Argument: What I pursued heterosexual relationships in the past because I was yearning for company, and not because I want to deny being gay?
The Venting Argument: If I had internal conflicts about my own sexuality then I would vent to my online friends since the majority of them support LGBTQI2+. You may argue that if I do, they would attack me for it, but most social media platforms support LGBTQI2+. So why haven't I vented?
The Transparency Argument: If you argue that I don't vent to them because I want to keep my problems private, then that would be invalid because I'm always transparent to my friends about the problems I have.
The Bravery Argument: How am I scared of being gay if I'm not scared of doing things that have been traditionally considered feminine, like drawing art?
The Dark Humor Argument: What if I use homophobic language because I'm male and males find it funny to use provocative language?
Lack Of Substances Argument: How can I be an internalized homophobe if I have no access to any substances at home? Even if I did, these substances would be hidden in a place that's hard to reach. And even if I did reach them, I would have no idea how to use them, and I would never be able to figure out how because search engines and chatbots would not tell me how to take recreational substances.
Mentally Sane Argument: I have been accused of having Anxiety, Autism, Mania, Depression, ADHD, DID, and Narcissism. But I discovered that I didn't have any of these conditions. What if people are just accusing me of suffering from homosexuality?
Bromance Argument: How am I scared of being gay if I had close relationships with my male friends?
Normal Life Argument: How am I self-annihilating myself if I want to go to university, graduate, get a job, get married and have children?
Familiarity Argument: How am I distancing myself from LGBTQI2+ if I know most of the LGBTQI2+ flags, as well as certain terms and history?
Religious Dilemma Argument: How am I in conflict with my religious beliefs if I am more likely to get mad at God for not doing what I wanted instead of crying because God doesn't accept me for being gay?
Natural Disposition Argument: What if I'm disgusted by gays because it goes against nature?
Simply A Bigot Argument: What if people are simply overthinking things when I'm just a bigot?
Imperfection Argument: How could I be an internalized homophobe if I embrace imperfection?
Healthy Stomach Argument: How can I be an internalized homophobe if I have never been diagnosed with any eating disorders?
I have disproved all of the major arguments for me being an internalized homophobe. All other arguments for me being an internalized homophobe are simply variations of the major arguments. If you still believe I'm an internalized homophobe, you're wrong.

Throughout my life, my mother has intervened and made decisions on my behalf, as if I have no independent existence from her. She is a terrifying person, who can flip into a rage and be verbally abusive. She rants a lot and can be aggressive and highly manipulative.
Whenever I manage to live an independent existence, she swoops in to meddle with my life. For the past few years I've been her "servant", just as I was as a child. I live in a property she owns and manage all her financial documents and letters. She constantly complains about how awful her life is and I feel bad, but she is wealthy and lives abroad. I get terrible brain fog and can't assert myself, I have trouble even understanding why I'm in this awful position.
This may seem pathetic to you (the average healthy adult!), but to put it in context, a couple of years ago I began to see a therapist after I started getting panic attacks, nightmares, and dissociative episodes, and was diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder due to narcissitic abuse, as well as schizoid personality disorder due to the childhood neglect and abuse by my mother and her boyfriends. I'm a barely-functional wreck, with memory and cognition issues, and much of my day is taken up with coping techniques, although I do have a basic menial job.
It would be great to "wish it away" but trauma (and actually I've gone into psychosis too) is no joke!
Sometimes it seems as though she is trying to "help" me (in her words) but other times I see so clearly that it's abuse. When she calls me "stupid", and "weak" and talks as if I don't exist, like an object. People over the years have told me I need to get away from her, but somehow I haven't been able to.
She's involved me in a complex financial arrangement where I manage her stuff. I spent a month cleaning, organising, doing removals for, and selling her other house. She complains of being "stressed" etc and so I end up having to do everything. If I ask a question or disagree she guilt trips me and my brain shuts down. I feel totally trapped and hopeless, in her insane web, including huge mountains of her hoarded objects and furniture I had to move to the apartment where I live. I'm like her secretary and bookkeeper.
She now wants to legally gift me this apartment, which she says is in my interests. But she's also seems so angry about it at the same time ("spoilt brat", "failure", "you've never worked in your life"). She talks about how much she's suffered (more than my friend who has an organ transplant, more than her friend who died of cancer). It's insane.
She clearly resents ever having a child: "I was beautiful and brilliant...but became used gods once I had a child". She's never happy despite a high-flying career in academia, travelling the world, etc. It's never enough. She wishes I had been "tall" and "successful". Instead she got a "short, boring nerd",
I've told her I don't want the apartment. I told her she should sell it and enjoy the money (I geniunely believe this) but she's adamant that she will gift it to me, whether I like it or not.
I'm scared because it might mean more problems for me down the line. All I want in life is to be free, I don't want money or anything...just freedom. I literally have no material needs beyond food and shelter. But I'm scared of defying her because I defied her for one year and she became highly abusive...and moreover she continued to live in my mind, attacking and humiliating me. It was a year of mental suffering. Due to the CPTSD and schizoid PD I lack an identity of myself, I lack a solid foundation inside, due to neglect and abuse (no love). I am so scared and suicidal all the time I couldn't even function.
This is what narcissistic abuse does to a person. The ordinary solution is "man up" etc, but that presupposes some foundation within the self to build on...I have no emotional foundation, I'm teetering on the edge of full-blown psychosis.
I've been selling my possessions and getting a bag ready to leave, and was thinking of just walking into the countryside and never coming back. But I can't seem to get away from the mental demons. Sometimes the voices/people in my mind attack for hours on end until I lose the ability to speak.
Everything I say or do is "wrong". I feel constant shame and guilt for even existing ("what do you want NOW!!!" as she would say if I was in the room). My mother and her horrid boyfriends are Lord and Masters in my own mind. I don't know how to get them out.

Does not mean you are part of some elite privileged club.
Does not mean other people don't have the right to talk about these things, just because they don't have membership.
Undiagnosed ASD issues are RIFE in society and affect MILLIONS of us.
These attitudes are extremely harmful to the progression of general understanding and tolerance of ASD in general.
I get it, some of these people with ASD WANT to feel and act in this way, because they have likely been discriminated against because of it, it is now their RIGHT to act like this through "official" diagnosis.
"Official diagnosis" that routinely misidentifies people's illnesses and ASD's - that's not a random statement, it is a fact you can see for yourself online from the thousands of people who SAID they were misdiagnosed and informed by suitable alternative medical practices/GP's.
However, discriminating against others with these disorders makes you as bad as those that did it to you.
Some of the related subbredits on this site and the people within them (not all) need to stop acting like they are some kind of entitled assholes - you diagnosis is not a membership badge.
"I have ADHD, I'm on 10,000mg of Vyvanse and Adderall together and still suffer extreme anxiety - ADHD is a bitch :-("
Yes absolutely you can resolve this, I won't even get into the facts about how ASD's are as a result of genetic mutations, that's for my own elite club members 🙄
For those that don't know or associate - ASD can involve Autism, ADHD, OCD, Bipolar, Schizophrenia, Anxiety, Depression and more - all are interlinked in some way.
If you downvote, then have the balls to say why and lets have a discussion?
Or run along to your related subreddit and wave around your badge of honour.

Someone who fakes illness for sympathy and uses up medical resources can be described as engaging in malingering or exhibiting behaviors associated with factitious disorder. Such an individual might:

1. Seek Attention: They often crave sympathy, care, and attention from others, including family, friends, and medical professionals.
2. Manipulative Behavior: They might exaggerate symptoms, fabricate medical histories, or even self-inflict injuries to appear sick.
3. Frequent Medical Visits: This person may visit multiple doctors, emergency rooms, or clinics to seek medical care, often resulting in extensive and unnecessary testing or treatment.
4. Inconsistent Symptoms: Their reported symptoms might not align with any recognizable medical condition, often changing or disappearing when not being directly observed.
5. Use of Medical Resources: Their actions can lead to a significant misuse of medical resources, taking time and attention away from patients with genuine medical needs.
6. Psychological Underpinnings: While the behavior can be conscious and deliberate (malingering), in cases of factitious disorder, the person may have an underlying psychological issue driving them to seek the sick role, even if they are aware their symptoms are fabricated.

This behavior is problematic not only because it depletes medical resources but also because it can strain relationships and lead to mistrust between healthcare providers and patients

Ive been struggling with my weight for a while and have tried dieting on and off, but have never been motivated to stick to it.
Lately, me and my spouse have moved back to my hometown and I have had access to amazing medical care, all my friends, and some nostalgic places. With all of this, and access to medications for my autoimmune disorders, I have felt better than ever and more motivated to finally cut junk from my diet and start exercising more. This has never gone well in the past, but I've actually gotten to the point where I don't crave the junk food anymore and refuse to buy it, and have even already lost 10 lbs. I'm so happy to have gotten past the initial hurdle when it comes to eating more wholesome foods.
However, my spouse asked why I was dieting again. I laughed nervously and told them, honestly, I just really wanted to be able to fit into the rides at the theme park. They seemed horrified for some reason and told me that it was an extremely unhealthy reason to want to lose weight. I got upset and told them that it wasnt just that. I wanted to be more active and social overall.
I told them I was tired of leaning on my chronic pain and fatigue and not being able to enjoy physical activities with my dearest friends. During the eclipse, I had to miss out on an amazing hike and me and my spouse stayed behind. They told me that I shouldn't want to lose weight like that because it wouldn't make me any less disabled and I was delusional for thinking I would get better and falling into a societal beauty standards trap. I was making an unhealthy choice.
They also told me that I was incredibly preachy whenever I started dieting. I'm not trying to be. Nutrition science just happens to be something that absolutely fascinates me and I LOVE researching and talking about it. I could do it for hours. And spill all of my opinions on the food industry and nutrition and whatnot. I just find it very fulfilling. I had no idea that I was being preachy. However, my feelings were hurt at that point. And I do admit that I told them that in probably a less than sensitive way.
I said that just because they are insecure about their own disabilities, they shouldn't project onto me and drag me down with them. That I don't have to eat the same junk they do and I am allowed to make my own choices as for what to do about MY body. I apologized for sounding preachy, and explained what I did above. But that I would not be sorry for using whatever made me happy to stay motivated and to have the hope that losing some weight will help at least a little with my disabilities.
So was I a total jerk about all of this? I'm really frustrated and wondering if they were right about my motivations being for the wrong reasons. And also wondering if I went too far in what I said, or if I was at least a little justified.

Hello and welcome to Day 9 of the June Recovery Challenge, how are you?
Wishing you peace and success for today :)
​

Today's check in:

Are there any obstacles in the way of success for you this week?
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Bonus exercise: Setting a SMART goal

SMART goals are smaller goals that can help us to move closer to our larger goals in recovery. SMART is an acronym that stands for:

• specific,
• measurable,
• attainable (something you are willing and able to do),
• relevant (relevant to you personally and to the larger goal you are working towards),
• timed (within a time frame)

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A goal like "recover from my eating disorder" or "stop binging", while of course important, is not a SMART goal because it's quite broad and all-encompassing. Here are some examples of SMART goals that could be relevant to an eating disorder recovery (all would be "in the time frame of the next week”):

• to use the distraction strategy three times
• to try three different urge management strategies
• to have a different breakfast three times
• to eat out at a restaurant
• to try one new recipe
• to complete a thought record about a difficult situation on the day that it happens
• to challenge my thoughts three times
• to try urge surfing one time
• to be in bed by 10pm 3 times
• to go for one day without checking my shape
• to do something nice for myself three times
• to look in the mirror only two times per day
• to go out or speak to friends twice

So the bonus exercise is: is there a SMART goal that you would like to set for yourself for the next week?
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WHAT IF I HAVE A SLIP DURING THE CHALLENGE?
if you have a slip and want to turn it into a recovery learning opportunity, here are some questions: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZhdjmzEVA6UTCNAEU53xn9LuN8TOfLbl/edit
(you don't have to post your answers if you don't want to, but I do recommend writing or typing them out somewhere)
HOW CAN I GET A REMINDER TO CHECK IN TOMORROW?
Copy/paste the following text into your comment to get a reminder from Reddit:
RemindMe!
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Long story short, I have a good ASVAB score. NEVER had any law violations. Used to take adderall but I’m not worried about that because I have doc notes ready to go saying I haven’t needed it since I was a young teen(I’m 30 now)
BUT, when I was in my mid 20s I was an idiot gym bro who dabbled with juice, ended up getting minor gyno.
I say that because the ONLY other medication genesis may see is I was prescribed Raloxifene 4 years ago. It’s used to treat gyno (puffy nipps) lol. And even though it was 4 years ago if I log into the doctor offices’s app, the notes say “client came in requesting hormone testing for testosterone use, I did not prescribe testosterone nor do I recommend it”
So my question, is MEPS only able to see the meds that I was prescribed or can they see the notes too. Because if they can see lab tests they’re gonna see I had Ronnie Coleman levels of testosterone too, (although most docs don’t know how to read those panels bc I actually had to walk my doc through what they mean) Also I can’t really say it was from over the counter supplements because my testosterone levels were 8xs higher the normal amount for someone my age lol.
Appreciate your time!

Hello everyone,
I’m conducting a thesis study on the behalf of Paris Nanterre University. The objective is to try to understand the role of wellbeing and several cognitive and emotional vulnerability factors in the development and maintenance of Panic Disorder. This survey will take max 20 min. If you are suffering from panic attacks, and you wish to participate in this research, I would be grateful.
The survey is available in English in: https://forms.gle/i7VWu2ryKJ1xRYzp6
Once the study completed, you can download a self-guide book to overcome your panic attacks.
Please reach out to me via email if interested or if you need more information: [40015979@parisnanterre.fr](mailto:40015979@parisnanterre.fr)
Quick Facts:
🔞 Exclusively for adults.
🤐 Completely anonymous and voluntary.
🤝 Your info is strictly for scientific use.