Boss and District Manager make me quit, costs them big time I'll start by saying that I never thought I would be on here, but after listening to SLASH, Am I The Jerk, and Ripe on Youtube I thought it time to tell my story.
For context, I (M 23) used to work at an electronics and entertainment store for three years and quit due to issues between workers and management. I had worked with a friend (M 36) at this place for a year or so. This friend was a good guy and great to hang out with when things weren't busy. He would find a job at another company and we would keep in touch as he would come in and chat occasionally. He would become a manager at one of these stores a small distance away. Each time he would try to sway me to come and work for him. I still liked what I was doing then and didn't think it was the right time to switch jobs. But again, due to management issues, I finally decided to quit and take up my friend's offer.
For the remainder of this story, my friend will be referred to as Dumb Boss. After a week or so I started at this new job I will not name, but they sell mattresses and rhyme with Jeep Hummer.
The first month of the job went very well as Dumb Boss trained me and another new employee, and the pay was very nice, and the work was nice with small amounts of actual labor. By the second month, things were doing okay as Dumb Boss continued to train me and the other employee more, but it started to change as my training would be halted in the process every time before I got to even finish. He would continue to do this every single time I was being trained, and stop it mid-session and start from scratch the next day I worked with him. I would never be able to even finish most of the day's training and only learn beginning things. I would say more about the training but it would say too much about where I am from and am.
A small time later I would get the news that my grandfather would pass and would wake up early to get the news. I would inform Dumb Boss later in the day before my shift of what had happened. My call would be very short as I told him of the passing and asked if there was any way I could call out that day. He would show some sympathy and tell me I could get the day, but after that, he didn't know. I would have to bring proof of the death and I would have the obituary already to show. He would go on to tell me the next day that I was in as I would only have that day to grieve that I would not be able to get any more days for my grandfather's death as grandparents weren't supposedly covered under bereavement as directed by him and Dumb District Manager (He'll be relevant later). On the day of my grandfather's funeral, I would have to work and Dumb Boss would have off. Me and the other employee I worked with, and is smarter than me when it comes to job things, talked about the situation of bereavement and who counted. She would ultimately look this information up for me and show me that grandparents were covered under bereavement and the information Dumb Boss and Dumb District Manager was not true. This made me upset and frustrated, enough to punch holes in walls, but I didn't. I would call Dumb Boss and tell him I was upset that the information he had given me was wrong and that I had missed my grandfather's funeral, something a person can't go back and do again. He apologized but looking back on it that phone call he showed little remorse or care. The next time I worked with him the same could be said in person. I would get no apology or communication from Dumb District Manager either about the situation. This was strike one.
Skipping some time to the next event I and everyone else were to attend a meeting for the whole district at a store about 100 miles from where I lived (Dumb Boss would have his own the day after ours). I was paid for the travel and had arrived at the store and worked with everyone that had shown up. Enter Dumb District Manager who was there for the meeting and mostly stayed on his computer the entire 8 hours we were all there. I thought everything went very well for my first meeting like this as we were being trained better than at our own stores. The next shift I worked with Dumb Boss and thought it would be a decent day, but would not be. I greet him and get ready as the store hasn't opened yet, him telling me he has to talk with me once I have finished. We talk and he tells me that even though the meeting/training went well Dumb District Manager and a couple of others had reported to Dumb Boss, as he had wanted them to, that I wasn't as good at the meeting as I thought. They had reported to him that I had been overly fidgety, barely worked with others, and was dressed like a cartoon. Please keep in mind, that I am no top-notch person. I make mistakes and like many other people no 100 percent good at a job. I do have issues with my legs that require them to move. I was nervous around people I had just met and did communicate with people in the training. Finally, I didn't understand why I would be dressed like a cartoon when I was the same as everyone else; in a shirt and tie. We talked about it then and throughout the day what went wrong and why, even though did my best, I was being treated like a negligent employee. This would go on Dumb Boss saying things like this to me and telling me I am not cut out for this and to just quit. This was strike two.
Strike three would happen two months or so later when the store would have a massive sale and pressure was on me and the other employee under Dumb Boss as he would press to make quotas that month or we are faced to be chewed out by him following his chew out by Dumb District Manager. The final day of the sale I would receive a nice old couple and when finishing up with them as I talked with them and the other employee talked with them they had purchased an item and had left to wait for it to arrive. Dumb Boss would walk over to me after they had left. Dumb Boss would tell me that I had a choice after they had left, either leave for the rest of the day and take disciplinary. The second choice was to stay and lose the commission on the sale I helped the elderly couple with. Now I did not know what he was going on about and he told me that because the couple I was working with had been talking with had talked with the other employee and she had left the floor and went to the back to collect herself. I would later find from her that she was just frustrated about the sale and trying to reach her quota and not because of what Dumb Boss was bringing up. I decided out of my own frustration and everything else that had been happening to just take the rest of the day and come back the next shift refreshed and able to talk to Dumb Boss with calm and collect. I would return and talk with Dumb Boss trying to keep a level head and would almost lose it as he told me that because I left he reported it to me being sent home to Dumb District Manager. After choosing the option to better help myself financially and leave and save my commission I would be given the third much later option of getting the commission taken away, losing the pay from the lost hours, and taking a disciplinary action regardless of what I did. This was the option that was forced on me after we talked and I knew this was it.
I was done and would put my notice in on the job about two weeks later and only need to give one week as Dumb Boss wanted to hire a new replacement and train them before the holidays. He even had the audacity to set up an interview for my replacement right in front of me. I was done like I said but I wasn't going out without a bit of a fight.
Something they had taught us throughout this job had been to say something if we see something. This was implied for any sort of ethics violations or issues that couldn't be brought up to management and be sent to an outside company they work with and their H.R. department. Remember that sale that we had at the store, well the sale was meant for friends and family only and no one else. Dumb District Manager told everyone to use the sale on anyone, he didn't care who and wanted the "coupons" we used gone, and if we didn't make the quota chewing would happen. This was considered an ethical no-no and Dumb District Manager and Dumb Boss didn't care as long as the coupons were gone. I would send in the ethics complaint stating what had been going on with the coupons. I know what some of you are thinking, I could have gotten Dumb Boss and Dumb District Manager on harassment, lies, etc. but unfortunately, two things happened. I am not as smart to put things like the lies and harassment on paper and turn it into H.R. The second is that I did send things to H.R regarding what had been going on via the ethics and how I was being treated but this went on deaf ears as Dumb Boss already told them crap to get out from this.
Basically, I left the last day with not even as much as a goodbye or good luck. I didn't need it though as I had pretty much left my own goodbye for him and Dumb District Manager with the ethics complaint.
I didn't hear much of what happened after I left, but after calling the other employee I worked with did I get more info. Turns out the ethics complaint actually went somewhere. She told me that Dumb Boss and Dumb District Manager were under investigation and that they were both getting their own write-ups for what they had pulled and lost the commissions not just for one sale but for the entirety of that month's commission totaling around 15,000 dollars.
If you can't hurt them where it counts, hurt their pocketbook.
P.S. Never doing another sales job ever again.

Guys, help a new leader out. Just graduated in biology and am working in a production facility while I find a career path in the biological sciences. It’s a medical cannabis facility that needs a little more quality control in operations, and I’ve always been on the production side of things. I like following facility best practices and having strict compliance, and I admit, my team is a little lost in the details. I want them to like and respect me, however I’m finding that each time I step away from operations for training in my role in the organization of our operations and production, they become upset and kinda criticize the fact that I haven’t “helped” with the production, clean up and packaging, when I would spend half of my day training with them through going through our SOP, and training with higher ups in meetings and calls in the last few hours of the day. The rest of the time I’m learning how to organize my production room, getting my inventory written down with weights while I still have no access to our operations system, and with the fact I entered a situation where supplies run thin everyday, and the team becomes confused on what to do. The team hits their quota usually every week despite taking long breaks, leaving early and coming in late and have been here for years, while I’ve not worked in a year, and it’s been 8 work days for me here so far. So I’m confused on why their upset that I’m not chipping in more when I haven’t even trained in the program I’m being paid to operate during production, and management is assuming I have been training, where I’m mostly just helping the team with production and preforming in my paid role. Do I just say “I can’t help with clean up right now” or just simply no? How do I help this team want a better work environment through better practices while also not knowing how or who to contact when supplies are out? It’s a horrible cycle I need to escape asap and I’m not sure how. Any words of advice?

Are there any moms in PwC Cloud & digital consulting that are Mgr or above & working on a reduced schedule ? I would love to hear experiences from such folks. For context: I am a new mom & experiencing mom guilt due to this demanding job and slowly experiencing burnout. And while I have other solutions like becoming full time mom, searching other roles outside etc, I also want to explore this option and learn all the facts before deciding which option to go with.
Some questions I can think of to ask you: 1. what kind of reduced schedule you went on ? 2. Once we go on reduced schedule, can we be on it forever (ie without a specific end date ) or do they expect you to have an end date in mind ? If you ask me, I want to be on a reduced schedule for the next 5 years. Is that reasonable in PwC? 3. What are lessons learnt from your experience and your advice for anyone going down this path ? 4. Did going down this route help with the goals that were the reason for you taking this route ? 5. How helpful was the firm in supporting this decision for you ? How were you able to manage client expectations and do you have any insights and tips there? 6. If I decide to go down this route , is there a formal way to initiate this topic ? For e.g , do I first bring this up to RL and then HR ? 7. Are you on a visa ? I would like to know this as I am on one and not sure if going this route would affect my work visa. Though per my online research it shouldn’t , but would like to learn of real world experience on this front.

The history of tarot is a fascinating journey that spans centuries and traverses various cultures. The origins of tarot cards can be traced back to 15th-century Italy, where they emerged as playing cards. The initial purpose of these decks was purely recreational, serving as a game known as "tarocchi" or "triumphi."

1. Early Playing Cards (15th Century):
   
   • Origin: Tarot cards likely originated in northern Italy in the early 15th century. The oldest surviving complete deck is the "Visconti-Sforza" deck, dating back to the 1440s.
   • Function: Originally used for games, tarot decks were adorned with symbolic imagery, including allegorical illustrations and trump cards.
2. Tarot in France (Late 15th Century):
   
   • Migration: Tarot cards crossed into France in the late 15th century, and the game evolved with the addition of the 22 trump cards, known as the Major Arcana.
   • Symbolism: The Major Arcana introduced iconic characters and archetypal symbols, enhancing the cards' allegorical significance.
3. Occult Associations (18th Century):
   
   • Esoteric Interest: In the 18th century, interest in the occult and mystical arts surged in Europe. Tarot cards gained esoteric significance, with scholars attributing hidden meanings to the cards beyond their gaming purpose.
   • Etteilla: The French occultist Etteilla published influential tarot interpretations, contributing to the transformation of tarot into a tool for divination and self-discovery.
4. The Rider-Waite-Smith Deck (Early 20th Century):
   
   • Revolutionary Design: In 1909, A.E. Waite and Pamela Colman Smith collaborated on the Rider-Waite-Smith deck, featuring vivid illustrations and intricate symbolism. This deck became immensely popular and served as the foundation for many modern tarot decks.
   • Divinatory Focus: The Rider-Waite-Smith deck emphasized the mystical and divinatory aspects of tarot, influencing the widespread adoption of tarot for spiritual and introspective purposes.
5. Tarot in the New Age Movement (20th Century Onward):
   
   • Popularization: The mid-20th century witnessed a surge in interest in mysticism, the occult, and alternative spiritual practices. Tarot cards gained popularity within the New Age movement, becoming a tool for self-reflection, divination, and personal growth.
   • Diverse Decks: The latter half of the 20th century saw the creation of diverse tarot decks, each with unique themes and interpretations, catering to different spiritual traditions and personal preferences.
6. Modern Tarot Practices (21st Century):
   
   • Global Appeal: Tarot has transcended cultural boundaries and gained a global following. The internet has played a significant role in disseminating tarot knowledge, making it accessible to a diverse audience.
   • Integration with Psychology: Many practitioners view tarot through a psychological lens, using the cards as a tool for introspection, therapy, and personal development.

The historical evolution of tarot reflects its transformation from a simple deck of playing cards to a versatile tool for divination, self-exploration, and spiritual guidance. Today, tarot continues to captivate individuals worldwide, offering a unique blend of ancient symbolism and contemporary relevance.

1. Diverse Tarot Systems and Cultural Influences:
   
   • Cultural Adaptations: Tarot has adapted to various cultural contexts, leading to the creation of decks that draw inspiration from different mythologies, traditions, and artistic styles.
   • Themed Decks: Modern tarot enthusiasts can explore decks inspired by Norse mythology, Celtic traditions, Eastern philosophies, and more, allowing for a rich diversity of interpretations and connections.
2. Tarot and Popular Culture:
   
   • Media Exposure: Tarot has found its way into mainstream media, with references in literature, movies, and television series. This exposure has contributed to its widespread recognition and acceptance.
   • Creative Interpretations: Popular culture has inspired artists and creators to produce tarot decks with themes ranging from fantasy and science fiction to contemporary pop culture references, showcasing the adaptability of tarot symbolism.
3. Tarot in Digital Age:
   
   • Online Platforms: The digital age has transformed tarot readings, making them accessible through online platforms and mobile apps. Virtual tarot readings and communities provide a global forum for discussion and learning.
   • Digital Decks: Tarot decks are now available in digital formats, enabling users to explore and engage with the cards through virtual platforms, expanding the reach of tarot practices.
4. Tarot as a Personalized Tool:
   
   • Self-Expression: Many individuals now create their own tarot decks, infusing personal symbols, experiences, and artistic styles into the cards. This personalized approach enhances the connection between the user and the cards.
   • Intuitive Reading: Modern tarot practices often emphasize intuitive reading, encouraging users to trust their instincts and personal interpretations rather than relying strictly on traditional meanings.
5. Scientific and Skeptical Perspectives:
   
   • Psychology and Tarot: Some psychologists view tarot as a projective tool that can tap into the unconscious mind, offering insights into one's thoughts and emotions.
   • Skepticism and Tarot: Skeptics often approach tarot from a psychological or statistical standpoint, exploring the phenomenon through the lens of cognitive biases and the placebo effect.
6. Tarot Communities and Education:
   
   • Learning Resources: The availability of books, online courses, and workshops has contributed to the education and skill development of tarot practitioners. This has empowered individuals to deepen their understanding of tarot symbolism and interpretation.
   • Community Engagement: Tarot communities, both online and offline, provide platforms for sharing experiences, seeking guidance, and fostering a sense of community among practitioners.

As tarot continues to evolve, its rich history merges with contemporary influences, shaping a dynamic and diverse landscape. Whether embraced for spiritual guidance, artistic expression, or personal insight, tarot remains a versatile and enduring tool that resonates with individuals on their unique journeys of self-discovery.

1. Tarot Ethics and Professionalization:
   
   • Code of Ethics: In modern tarot practices, professional readers often adhere to ethical guidelines. These guidelines emphasize confidentiality, client empowerment, and responsible use of divination tools.
   • Certification and Training: Some tarot practitioners pursue formal training and certification programs to enhance their skills and professionalism, contributing to the recognition of tarot reading as a legitimate and ethical practice.
2. Scientific Research on Tarot:
   
   • Psychological Studies: While scientific research on tarot is limited, some studies explore the psychological aspects of tarot reading. Research has investigated how individuals interpret symbols, engage in reflective thinking, and experience a sense of empowerment through tarot readings.
   • Cognitive Science Perspectives: Tarot's intersection with cognitive science has led to examinations of how the mind processes symbolic information and the impact of belief systems on perception.
3. Tarot and Intersectionality:
   
   • Inclusivity: Tarot communities increasingly emphasize inclusivity, recognizing the importance of diverse perspectives, cultures, and identities. Decks that reflect a broader range of experiences and backgrounds contribute to a more inclusive tarot landscape.
   • Intersectional Readings: Practitioners may integrate intersectionality into their readings, acknowledging the complexity of individual identities and experiences within a broader social context.
4. Tarot's Influence on Art and Literature:
   
   • Literary Works: Tarot symbolism has inspired numerous works of literature, poetry, and art. Authors and artists often incorporate tarot themes to explore psychological, spiritual, and philosophical concepts.
   • Tarot in Visual Arts: Tarot continues to be a muse for visual artists, with contemporary artworks reimagining and interpreting the traditional tarot archetypes in new and innovative ways.
5. Tarot and Holistic Wellness:
   
   • Mind-Body-Spirit Connection: Tarot is increasingly integrated into holistic wellness practices that emphasize the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit. It complements approaches like meditation, mindfulness, and energy healing.
   • Wellness Retreats and Workshops: Wellness retreats and workshops may incorporate tarot as a tool for self-reflection, personal growth, and stress reduction, aligning with the broader holistic wellness movement.
6. Tarot and Technology Integration:
   
   • Mobile Apps and Online Platforms: Technology has facilitated the accessibility of tarot through mobile apps and online platforms, offering virtual readings, digital decks, and interactive tarot experiences.
   • Augmented Reality and Virtual Reality: Emerging technologies like augmented reality (AR) and virtual reality (VR) have the potential to transform tarot experiences, providing immersive and interactive readings.

The ongoing evolution of tarot reflects its adaptability to societal changes, technological advancements, and a growing understanding of its psychological and symbolic dimensions. As it continues to weave through various aspects of contemporary life, tarot remains a dynamic and versatile tool with enduring relevance.

1. Tarot and Social Media:
   
   • Online Communities: Social media platforms, such as Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, have become hubs for tarot enthusiasts. Tarot readers share daily card pulls, interpretations, and create educational content, fostering a vibrant online community.
   • Global Connections: Social media has facilitated global connections among tarot practitioners, allowing for the exchange of diverse perspectives, interpretations, and deck recommendations.
2. Tarot in Mental Health Practices:
   
   • Therapeutic Applications: Some mental health professionals incorporate tarot into therapeutic practices, using it as a tool for self-reflection, exploration of emotions, and promoting therapeutic dialogue.
   • Mindfulness and Coping: Tarot readings can be used as a mindfulness practice, helping individuals cultivate self-awareness and coping strategies for managing stress, anxiety, and mental health challenges.
3. Tarot's Evolving Symbolism:
   
   • Living Symbolism: Tarot symbolism is not static; it evolves over time. Modern tarot decks often reinterpret traditional symbols to reflect contemporary values, ensuring that the cards remain relevant and resonant with current cultural contexts.
   • Innovative Decks: Artists continue to create innovative tarot decks that explore diverse themes, introducing new symbols and archetypes that speak to a wide range of experiences.
4. Tarot and Ritual Practices:
   
   • Ritualistic Use: Tarot is incorporated into various ritual practices, from simple daily card pulls to more elaborate ceremonies. These rituals can serve as a form of meditation, intention-setting, or connection with spiritual energies.
   • Seasonal Celebrations: Some practitioners align tarot practices with seasonal changes, using specific spreads or decks to explore themes associated with the solstices, equinoxes, and other significant astrological events.
5. Tarot and Gender Representation:
   
   • Expanding Archetypes: Modern tarot decks often challenge traditional gender roles and expand archetypal representations. Decks may feature diverse gender identities and expressions, offering a more inclusive and fluid understanding of the archetypal energies within the cards.
   • Feminist Tarot: Some decks explicitly adopt feminist perspectives, reimagining traditional tarot symbolism to empower and celebrate the diverse experiences of individuals across the gender spectrum.
6. Tarot as Literary Inspiration:
   
   • Literary Works and Tarot: Tarot continues to inspire literary works, with novels, poems, and plays incorporating tarot themes and archetypes. Authors explore the psychological and symbolic depths of tarot, infusing their narratives with mystical and esoteric elements.
   • Narrative Exploration: Tarot's narrative potential serves as a source of inspiration for storytellers, offering a structure that mirrors the hero's journey or provides a framework for exploring characters' internal and external conflicts.

The dynamic interplay between tarot and contemporary culture reveals its enduring appeal and adaptability. From social media platforms to therapeutic practices, tarot remains a versatile tool that resonates with individuals seeking insight, connection, and personal growth in an ever-changing world.
In conclusion, the history and evolution of tarot reflect its remarkable journey from humble playing cards to a multifaceted tool deeply embedded in modern culture. As tarot continues to weave its way through diverse aspects of society, from online communities to therapeutic practices, its enduring relevance lies in its adaptability, symbolism, and capacity to inspire self-discovery.
From the mysterious origins of the 15th century to its current role as a global phenomenon, tarot has transcended cultural and historical boundaries. As it integrates with technology, influences art and literature, and finds new applications in mental health and wellness, tarot remains a dynamic force that resonates with those seeking spiritual insights, artistic expression, and personal transformation.
Whether approached through a psychological lens, as a form of self-reflection, or as part of broader cultural movements, tarot's journey reflects the human quest for meaning, connection, and the exploration of the inner self. Its rich tapestry of symbolism continues to captivate individuals across the globe, making tarot a timeless and ever-evolving companion on the diverse paths of human experience.

Hey everyone,
I hope you’re all doing well. I’ve been following this subreddit for a while now and have seen a lot of insightful discussions here. I’m reaching out today because I’ve found myself in a bit of a quandary at work and could really use some advice from those who’ve been in similar situations.
I’ve been with my current employer for about six years now, and during that time, I’ve seen a lot of changes in management and company policy. Overall, it’s been a good place to work, but recently, things have gotten a bit confusing and frustrating.
It all started a few months ago when our department got a new manager, let’s call her Sarah. Sarah is very different from our previous manager, Tom, who was quite laid-back and trusted us to manage our own workloads and leave. Sarah, on the other hand, is very hands-on and seems to want to micromanage everything.
Our team meetings, which used to be quick and to the point, have now turned into long, drawn-out sessions where every little detail is scrutinized. I’ve noticed that Sarah has a tendency to focus on minor issues and can sometimes overlook the bigger picture. For example, she once spent an entire meeting discussing the font size on our reports, which most of us found a bit excessive.
In addition to the changes in our team meetings, Sarah has also been more involved in our personal schedules. She’s started asking for detailed reports on what we’re working on, how long we expect tasks to take, and what our availability looks like. This level of scrutiny is new for us, and it’s been a bit of an adjustment.
One of the more frustrating aspects of this new management style is the increased focus on leave. In the past, as long as we gave reasonable notice and made sure our work was covered, taking leave was generally not an issue. However, Sarah seems to have a different approach.
A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with Sarah about my workload and how I’ve been feeling a bit burned out. I thought it would be a good idea to take a few days off to recharge. When I brought this up, Sarah seemed supportive at first, but then things took an unexpected turn. She started asking me about my leave balance and mentioned that I had a lot of accrued leave that I hadn’t used.
This led to a lengthy discussion about the company’s leave policy and how it’s important for employees to take regular breaks to avoid burnout. While I agreed with her in principle, the conversation left me feeling a bit uneasy. It seemed like she was hinting that I should be taking more leave than I currently am.
Fast forward to last week, and the situation has become even more confusing. During another one of our long team meetings, Sarah brought up the topic of leave again, but this time in a more direct way. She mentioned that the company has a policy of encouraging employees to use their leave and that it’s important for everyone’s well-being.
What struck me as odd was the way she phrased it. She didn’t just say it’s encouraged; she made it sound almost mandatory. This got me thinking about whether or not my employer can actually force me to take leave.
To add to the confusion, I’ve had several conversations with my coworkers about this issue. Some of them seem to think that Sarah is just trying to look out for us and ensure we’re taking care of ourselves. Others believe that there might be more to it, like a push from upper management to reduce leave liabilities on the company’s balance sheet.
One coworker, let’s call him John, mentioned that he’s been in a similar situation before at a previous job. According to John, his former employer had a policy of forcing employees to take leave if they had too much accrued. He explained that it was a way for the company to avoid having a large leave liability, especially at the end of the financial year.
Another coworker, Emily, had a different perspective. She thinks that Sarah’s focus on leave is just her way of making sure we’re not overworking ourselves. Emily pointed out that in our industry, burnout is a real issue, and maybe Sarah is just trying to prevent that.
While these conversations were somewhat helpful, they didn’t really give me a clear answer. I decided to do a bit of research on my own to see if I could find any concrete information about whether or not an employer can force you to take leave.
From what I’ve found, it seems like the answer isn’t straightforward. Some sources suggest that employers do have the right to direct employees to take leave, especially if they have a large amount of accrued leave. Other sources indicate that this might depend on the specific terms of your employment contract or the company’s policies.
I’ve also come across some discussions online where people have shared their experiences with this issue. It seems like there’s a lot of variability depending on the industry, company, and even the specific manager.
Given all of this, I’m still not entirely sure where I stand. On one hand, I understand the importance of taking regular breaks and not letting leave accrue indefinitely. On the other hand, I’m not comfortable with the idea of being forced to take leave if it’s not convenient for me or if I don’t feel like I need it at that particular time.
So, I’m turning to you, my fellow corporate workers, for some advice. Should I get a pizza for dinner tonight, or no?

Hi all,
How did you know when to stop swaddling? My lo is 5 months but sometimes manages to get his hand out of his swaddle. When he does he usually cries or becomes fussy in his sleep. When swaddled he sleeps 7pm-6:30am. How do I transition him to sleep with his arms out? Will he just accept it one day?

My bf and I have been dating for 1.5 years. Things are great between us and he is on his way to figuring out things. I come from a small but close knit family. They drive me crazy but there is also a lot of love. I’m definitely spoiled and stubborn at times. I’m a very social and extroverted person, which means my bf is definitely not. He is introverted and really kind and soft spoken. My family and I are loud, sassy and spend a lot of time together. My bf’s current work and life situation has been hard as he is trying to move to a new field so he is starting from scratch. He feeds of his confidence and that has been low lately. My family doesn’t dislike him but when I started to introduce him to them slowly some of them were very welcoming and others were a little cold. Partially because of issues with me they would avoid him when I brought him around and after months we all were finally in a place so he didn’t come over for a big dinner party. That was about 5 months ago. However because of his job situation he feels like he is not good enough for me so he is avoiding meeting my family or my friends. And I’m trying to invite him to casual things with my family but he says no and tells me to enjoy myself. He jokes about it but it’s getting on my nerves that he is dismissing anything I invite him to because of his “situation”.
Right now I also have a dinner coming up with friends and he doesn’t want to come because of his financial situation and the lack of confidence. This dinner is important as it’s not just him but my friends and their spouses/partners meeting for the first time. I think he is being absolutely selfish and making it harder to meet people that he knew he was going to meet at some point. For some context his family is not in the country but we’ve met over FaceTime and video calls. I’d meet them in a heartbeat if they were here. It’s becoming a tit for tat thing and regardless of if it’s friends or family there should be no tally of “I came to this so now I don’t have to come for the next one”. I know that’s not healthy for any future
My downfall is getting emotional and he is taking it as an ultimatum that if he doesn’t meet or get along with my friends and family that’ll be it. I feel like I have a life with him that’s sweet and wonderful and there is a life with friends and family. I can’t and don’t know how to mesh it all. Do I have u realistic expectations?? This should not be this hard for either of us because I see how family oriented he is too. I don’t want my future split between these two lives…. It’s tiring and exhausting to manage. I know introducing him to my family could’ve been better but it seems like it’s on the wrong foot. He did try his best but I’m not excusing their “cold shoulder” either. But families are complicated and I don’t want him impose my family on him but also make it clear that they are equally important to me as him.

Content warning: a bit of not-safe references, very cringe writing, and dialogue
Memory transcript subject: Nikonus, Chief of the Kolshian Commonwealth
Date: [standardized human time] March 15th, 2131
It was that time again. A meeting of which nobody can know. There was always a bit of guilt inside me for partaking in such activities. However…
It was what was best for the commonwealth.. and best for me.
Only a select group on both sides knew the truth of this war and our societies. None of the public knew of the deal our people and the Arxur have made.
I hope it stays this way.
“Alright sir we’re here” Looking to my right I saw one of my guards holding a pristine rifle. The armor of this special unit was shiny and in the best condition.
“Let’s get this over with” I fixed my robe, it was best to look presentable. Especially for these meetings.
This space station, in the middle of nowhere, floated while being guarded and hidden from the galaxy.
We only do these meetings every so often just to get on the same page and plan what will and won’t happen. It’s nice to stay on the same page.
I remember when I first got the job of Chief I couldn’t believe this would be a part of my job. At first, I didn’t want to do this but as time went on I got used to it.
Entering the station I saw groups of Arxur, Farsul, and Kolshians all together. Some exchange intel and others keep guard. I imagine this sight would confuse anybody.
Enemies together like this.
Passing by people they greeted me and then went back to their business. Everything here was almost like a clock. Tight and on time.
“Alright Nik we can’t follow you any further” I gave a little tail flick as I stood at the door. In this room was where me and Ginzel would meet.
Everything in that room would not be known to outsiders unless they were at the top of the top.
Grabbing the door handle with my tentacle I opened it and entered. Some kind of Arxur music was playing, it was almost like one of those Paltan bands that would play in bars.
Almost soothing to the soul.
“Ah, Nikonus you’re here” Ginzel was sitting in one of the soft chairs made of that nice Fabric from Nishtal. In his hands, he was eating a bit of Venlil. “Come and sit! The chefs prepped some dine for you”
Walking over I sat down in the chair to face the Arxur. I could see different scratch marks and scars on him in different places.
He wasn’t wearing his armor like he would be in public or just in normal places. Then again looking at it, it would probably be somewhat annoying to be constantly wearing that everywhere.
In front of me was a plate of fruits handpicked from the best orchards and a glass of some exotic wine. Its coloring and density were elegantly elite.
Taking a sip the rich flavor filled every part of my mouth exploding with flavor. Yes, it was indeed elite as expected.
“So Nikonus let’s get to it. I was thinking about sending some generals over to one of those Harchen worlds, what do you think?” Thinking about it.. it wasn’t a bad choice. It could definitely have some people up in arms.
“Alright but make sure it’s not too devastating. While we can lose a few worlds here and there we don’t need everyone thinking it’s a full-blown invasion” Ginzel nodded in agreement. Our understandings and agreements were mutual.
We talked for so long about different points and plans. I talked about raiding some cattle ships so some of his people wouldn’t be fed. Mainly to boost recruitment numbers and have some good press.
However as the talk continued I found myself becoming more bored and tired, I could feel myself blanking out from time to time. Recently I have found myself just not enjoying life or my job as I used to.
Maybe I was just bored of it all, the bureaucracy, the constant news and updates, and managing the Federation had taken a toll on me.
With the constant bickering of the politicians about the weirdest matters. And the nagging of the Nevoks and Fissans about who gets what.
I just…. I don’t…
“Nikonus!” I shot up in surprise. Ginzel was right up in my face. Backing up I could feel my face turning a bright blush of purple. “You there?”
I couldn’t speak, I was in such a shock and fluster. My tail wagged at a fast pace that I couldn’t control.
“I-I uh yeah I’m fine” Quickly going up from my seat I grabbed my things and began to walk away.
Before I made it past the table Ginzel stopped me. Confusion set in as he placed me against a table.
“Ginzel what are you-!?” Ginzel silenced me and looked deep with his eyes. I could see some sort of worry on his face. This wasn’t normal or anything I’d seen before.
“Nikonus I….. don’t know what to say. It’s just that” Oh my stars he didn’t! Did he? “Ever since we first met I just…. By me this going to sound cringy but I couldn’t stop thinking about you”
I couldn’t stop blushing. What was going on with me!? This wasn’t ok, right?
“But Ginzel what about our reputations? If people find out that you… I” Ginzel didn’t seem to care, he didn’t seem to be concerned.
“Oh come on Nik we will just silence them like we always do. And… I’ve been craving some thicker meat as of late” OH STARS OH STARS I-
“Ginzel I’m not sure now is a good time” The huge Arxur backed away slightly. I could see the scars on his… huge chest.
We both looked at each other in silence. The air was still, it was hard to breathe.
As I thought harder and harder I couldn’t keep myself from grabbing Ginzel. He seemed surprised at me.
“Sorry, Nik I thought…” Putting a tentacle to his mouth I looked away. There was some kind of sadness going over me.
“It’s ok Ginzel maybe some other time might be better?” I tried to lighten things up but the Arxur in front of me seemed disappointed.
“Alright….. well till we meet again?”
“Sure”
Exiting the room I gave my guards a signal and we started to head back to the ship. Each step I took I thought of what just happened.
Should I? Should I not? As I walk I head back to that boring and tiring life I live. I think about how I feel and how I act. Maybe it would be good to let loose.
Screw it.
Stopping in my tracks I turned around.
“Nikonus?” Looking over to my guards they both seemed surprised. Their minds racing with questions.
Everyone seemed surprised and what was happening. I rushed back to the room, hopefully Ginzel was still there.
“If you excuse me I think I forgot something in the room” Quickly shutting the door I discovered Ginzel sitting there in a chair. He was facing a screen watching some sport I believe.
“Nik!” The Arxur seemed surprised as I wrapped my tentacles around him. The scaly skin felt nice.
This was going to be fun.

I want to move up to a serving position from my current runnehost/bar position at my restaurant.
I work part-time at a fine-dining restaurant, ownemanager has 10+ years of 3 Michelin experience as sommelier and the Chef and some other staff has some 1-2 star experience. The concept is a casual fine-dining experience with a Michelin quality wine list where patrons order a starter and main with maybe dessert, we also operate a wine bar downstairs from the restaurant with the same wines and bar snacks. The goal is not to emulate a Michelin experience.
I started 2 months ago with basically 0 experience in hospitality and have been getting a LOT better at my admittedly limited responsibilities and it is very satisfying, however I have not yet been given the chance to be responsible for a set of tables which seems really fun to me. I love this job as it is a fantastic place to learn more about wine which is a passion of mine(did WSET 3) and enjoy the feeling of providing a premium service experience to our guests through our wines and positive interactions. There is no financial benefit to becoming a server this is purely because I think I would enjoy the challenge and the work of being a server itself.
In a talk with the waitstaff supervisor she said that it is normal to have to do these other things for a while in order to get used to the atmosphere and the work, however another colleague also just started with almost no prior experience got assigned a server role within 5 days of work(I know I shouldn't compare myself to others but I cant help it). She said that I am not yet very smooth with some guest interactions, forget things once in a while and am not yet very good at handling the most stressful moments. She said that some people never make it to being a proper server but she expects I eventually will and that asking about it is a positive sign.
My question is basically this: What things can I work on or do in my current position as runnehost that will show my managers that I can handle being responsible for the 10 tables in a restaurant section?
Also, how normal is it that places take this step so seriously? Is my supervisor being honest that I will eventually earn it or is this just something they say to keep me there for longer? I expect she is genuine but I would love some outside perspective from some restaurant managers :)

Hi, I’ve been doing some analysis and these three cards seem to hit on a lot of my category spending. However, I currently only have a Capital One QuickSilver with a -$30k CL. Also, my credit level is excellent.
I’ve read that some people have gotten two US bank cards in one month. So is it something like this?
1) Apply for and hopefully get the USB Altitude Reserve
2) Shortly after, apply for and hopefully get the USB Shoppers Cash Rewards
3) At some point after that(?) apply for and get the WF Autograph
4) Cancel my QuickSilver
Can someone who has some knowledge about how this works help advise me?
Thanks!
Also, I obviously don’t know what I don’t know but this was my rationale to keep the number of cards to manage pretty low (and not even have to carry the physical cards in all cases). If you know of a better CB combo that keeps the number of cards low, please let me know.
USBAR (no need to carry physical card)
Mobile Wallet: 3%
USBSCR (no need to carry physical card)
Walmart (I do all my shopping through the app): 6%.
Amazon: 6%.
Utilities/Bills: 3%
WFA (need to carry physical card)
Travel Purchases: 3% (or use USBAR)
Dining: 3%
Gas: 3%
International Travel: 1-3% (or use USBAR)
Everything else: USBSCR (so I actually would need to carry this physical card if a merchant doesn’t accept mobile pay and the purchase isn’t in a WFA category). 1.5%

So, before I get into the detail of what I'm trying to ask, I want to kind of set my expectations. My post does kind of centre around me being a trans woman. And I realise that a lot of people here may not be super familiar with the ins and outs of trans people, but I don't think that matters super much. At the end of the day I'm just looking for some friendly advice from mature people on how to handle myself in a somewhat vulnerable situation - please don't let me being trans dissuade you from answering because you're not sure about trans stuff specifically!
Anyway. Long story short, I'm a 28 year old trans woman, and my parents *hate* it. I transitioned when I was younger for a few years, they treated me with a ton of hostility. Life got really bad and I detransitioned and went back in the closet, then a few years later I started transitioning again. Cut to today - I don't look great, but I've been on HRT roughly two years now. I don't look amazing, but strangers are gendering me as a woman pretty often, while I'm still not out at work, and haven't had any sort of conversation with my parents yet to let them know that I'm going to be transitioning again.
I think I'm at a cliff edge where it's becoming a bit frustrating, and a little bit precarious, not being out at work. I've been lightly SA'd on a night out by a man I work with, recently on a few nights out and at meals with work people I was being referred to as miss and she by strangers in front of my colleagues, and I'm very close with a lot of people I work with, so it's just.. odd. Besides that, I've been forcing myself to get comfortable with light makeup and less androgynous clothing recently, and I'm worried about meeting someone I work with in public or on a night out with friends. Besides that, I have to undress for work to go into clean rooms, and I have small, but kind of obvious, breasts - it's awkward being in the mens changing room, and I've noticed people looking, despite my best efforts. On top of that, I'm getting closer to a position where I might be able to take advantage of getting cosmetic facial surgery, and bottom surgery, so it'll be impossible *not* to be out, or for a difference to be noted.
The issue is that I work with my dad. And we work in departments where our work is fairly closely related, and since I got a bit of a promotion, I'm in even more contact with him than before.
Therefore: I need to come out, and probably somewhat soon, so I don't flashbang people with like "btw I'm trans and now I'll be out of office for a bit and going straight into surgery." But, I work with someone who I *know* will be actively hostile to me about it.
I've spoken with my manager, HR, and have a bunch of closer friends who know (either I've told them, or they've been part of a group who were there when work dude felt me up, and know through that). In Ireland I should be protected under our laws from discrimination based on gender. So I have some protection, and backing, at work. But I'm not sure when to pull the trigger on speaking to my parents. I feel like I'm pretty much as "ready" as I'm going to be, and I feel like the frustration at holding back on speaking to them is building. But I'm also terrified that it'll significantly affect my job, and impact my performance, my mental health, and/or my earning potential/ability to keep saving at the rate I currently am (if it got bad enough to necessitate a role change, I might be taken off my current shift role, which would result in me losing a ~20% shift bonus).
I guess the question boils down to whether it's a wiser choice to wait as long as possible, to protect myself for as long as possible, and just find a way to live with being curtailed in some behaviours outside of work (for fear of being seen by someone and word filtering back to work or my family) and with trying to maintain a distant-but-civil relationship with my parents where I see them and feel miserable once a week? Or whether it's probably safe to have that conversation with them now, and give myself time to understand how I'll be impacted by their reaction to the conversation, and give myself a little more freedom in terms of not having to feel so cloistered by the relationship with my parents, and just a little mental health relief overall.
It's probably a question I'd love to discuss with a parental figure, but obviously that option isn't available to me right now. If anyone has any advice or thoughts, I'd really reaaaally appreciate you taking the time to send them.

Need help figuring out a career
Hi everyone. I graduated with my bachelors in biology in 2023 I’m currently 22 years old, almost 23, and been out of school for the last year while trying to figure out my life post graduation. I originally went to school in the hopes of becoming a doctor and going to medical school, then switched to pre-PA from a combination of the intimidation of debt/4 years of more school and years of residency. But while getting my patient care experience after graduation (required to apply to PA school) I realized I hated the office setting and patient interaction. I’ve since been working in retail while trying to figure out life.
Recently I interviewed for a 1 year MRI tech program (because I don’t have to deal with patients as much and my interests in physics and imaging) and got accepted to start next fall. However I did have to register at my local community college this summer for some pre-requesite classes which start in a week. Today I was going through some of the things I need before starting the course and the same uncertainty I felt with going to medical school my senior year have started to set in now that I have to come to terms with reality again and deal with this. Looking over all the course material and syllabus was daunting and made me realize maybe I wasn’t as ready as I thought in making this decision — I still don’t even think I actually wanted to do the MRI program at all I just felt forced to do something with the degree I felt I wasted 4 years getting. But I have no motivation or interest to start these summer courses (similar to how I felt I had the potential to excel in med school but just lacked the motivation and true passion that would’ve made it a long 4 years) and I feel it’s a warning sign rather than what some may think is me being scared of a challenge (I’m definitely not I was in honors in college and graduated with a 3.96 GPA highest in my program). I also just had 2 more surgeries (for a total of 7 in my lifetime) and each has done the opposite for me opposed to others — instead of enforcing interest in medicine I’ve become so agitated by it.
At this point I don’t know if I should continue with the program and summer courses and see how i feel as it goes or back out now and take more time to figure out my life. I’m definitely an over thinker but if I can get the few grand I already paid in tuition back for a full refund it may be worth it to take the extra time to decide. Only reason I’m hesitant about it is I actually have been finding a real interest lately in going to pharmacy school where I would need these pre requisites also, but again I’m intimidated by that kind of toxic culture where students are overworked and abused and I’m burnt out of the idea having to study 12 hours a day (obviously the only careers I seem to have considered are science/healthcare because all I was good at in school and had some interest in was science and maybe that’s my problem trying to force my hand into a “respectable career” — also yes I have considered research and it’s not for me I didn’t enjoy the research process in college during my honors thesis).
All I know is I have the capability to succeed in anything I do it’s just figuring out what that is for me. All that matters to me at the end of the day is I would like to have a good work life balance and make a decent amount of money but not to live luxuries more because I’m very much a family man and would like to support my own one day to have a comfortable life and go on vacations and stuff I never was able to as a kid. I’m a bit of an introvert but can also be very social, but I don’t enjoy dealing with complex personalities that I’ve learned in my patient care and retail experiences so something like management and HR wouldn’t work for me. Another thing I’ve been thinking is even if I might enjoy something like accounting if I don’t want to go to 4 years more of med school I probably don’t want to spend 4 more years pursuing another bachelors and MBA… I’m not a very creative person either so I don’t think something like engineering architecture of entrepreneurship would benefit me. Something I was once considering bc it was suggested to me was becoming a chef but 1) even though I enjoy cooking I enjoy like making dinner for myself I don’t think I would enjoy the professional kitchen environment and 2) my cousin went to culinary school and basically for the same reasons ended up doing nothing with it and now has some social services government pension job. Speaking of pension jobs I considered teaching and police which is the career of choice for my aunts and uncles, but I couldn’t personally handle teaching because of the kids crazy parents and restricting curriculums and i can’t be a cop where I live because I’m colorblind and honestly think I wouldn’t be taken seriously as one. One thing I would’ve loved to do is commercial real estate I’ve talked about it a lot as a possibility one day with my best friend but the problem is I have no idea on getting started with that without needing the capital.
I know this is very long but thank you for reading all this and any help would be greatly appreciated. I’m physically exhausted and drained from feeling confused and a loser for having no direction.

Hey guys, Congrats to all of the graduates but I really need some help here.
Theres this girl who I BARELY fxking no who wont leave me alone. Shes always following me out of my dorm and shit and a few weeks ago she tried to grab my arm forcefully and I barely made it on to an LX and got away. Since then I keep seeing her in my peripheral at like every bus stop and its freaking me out. Its get so much worse though just keep reading.
I was out with my girlfriend and this creep saw us kissing and holy shit she came over and started fighting with my love about how "Im just trying to make her jealous" and to "get away from her pookie bear". My girl had claw marks on her face after. CLAW MARKS!!!! Then she gets a job and forces the manager to put her ON MY SHIFTS ofc I left. She sent me a msg saying shes staying until I graduate at Rutgers. Like how STUPID, SINGLE, LIFELESS, AND MADE OF ACTUAL FXKING HIPPO FECES DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO DO THAT!?!?!?!?
Guys what do I do I don't want to become a statistic.
Pls help.
edit: I think shes outside my window guys.......
IMPORTANT: THIS IS FAKE ITS A RESPONSE TO AN EARLER SHITPOST

It will be a short one today. Another day of eating healthy and another day of taking a walk. I consciously chose not to eat a cannoli from work. I consciously chose not to take in so many carbs from sources like potato slop or salad. I ate part of an apple and a banana when I wanted a cannoli. I ate carrots or my tacos when I could have eaten potato salad. I'm trying to find substitutes for all the things that I like that aren't there to be good for me. I bought a galumpki (stuffed cabbage) for dinner and got broccoli thinking I could roast it as well. Veggies for dinner with some protein. I don't want to fall into the way of eating bland foods down the road when subbing for the good stuff. One way to get over that hurdle I thought would be the peppers I pickle if the hot sauces I love. It adds flavor without usually adding too much in terms of calories. I need to research recipes and write down my ideas. Time to find that spiral notebook I bought.
I think my biggest hurdle is time. There never feels like enough of it. Enough to do the things I want to do and to do the things that are good for me. This week I signed up to do a Pokémon prerelease event which I'm excited for. I took off a day of work but managing all that time feels like a burden. I don't know how people do it so well. Do they set perfect sleeping schedules and when to do what? I've always kind of just done things on a whim. I need to change. I have to change. I want to be better and I know I can be. I want to still have fun with life but what sacrifices have to be made for that. I want my health to be better. I want to love myself. If only we could all become the Flash, then maybe this thing called life could be a touch easier for us all :P
I end today with a lot of questions. In the past I would have thought that was maybe a negative thing. Right now it feels more like a challenge to myself that I need to solve and that I can solve. I'm frightened but excited. Tomorrow will be new. Tomorrow could give answers. I sign off my little conjurers of the leaping toads and croaking frogs. I hope all is swell.

It will be a short one today. Another day of eating healthy and another day of taking a walk. I consciously chose not to eat a cannoli from work. I consciously chose not to take in so many carbs from sources like potato slop or salad. I ate part of an apple and a banana when I wanted a cannoli. I ate carrots or my tacos when I could have eaten potato salad. I'm trying to find substitutes for all the things that I like that aren't there to be good for me. I bought a galumpki (stuffed cabbage) for dinner and got broccoli thinking I could roast it as well. Veggies for dinner with some protein. I don't want to fall into the way of eating bland foods down the road when subbing for the good stuff. One way to get over that hurdle I thought would be the peppers I pickle if the hot sauces I love. It adds flavor without usually adding too much in terms of calories. I need to research recipes and write down my ideas. Time to find that spiral notebook I bought.
I think my biggest hurdle is time. There never feels like enough of it. Enough to do the things I want to do and to do the things that are good for me. This week I signed up to do a Pokémon prerelease event which I'm excited for. I took off a day of work but managing all that time feels like a burden. I don't know how people do it so well. Do they set perfect sleeping schedules and when to do what? I've always kind of just done things on a whim. I need to change. I have to change. I want to be better and I know I can be. I want to still have fun with life but what sacrifices have to be made for that. I want my health to be better. I want to love myself. If only we could all become the Flash, then maybe this thing called life could be a touch easier for us all :P
I end today with a lot of questions. In the past I would have thought that was maybe a negative thing. Right now it feels more like a challenge to myself that I need to solve and that I can solve. I'm frightened but excited. Tomorrow will be new. Tomorrow could give answers. I sign off my little conjurers of the leaping toads and croaking frogs. I hope all is swell.

Yes you read that right, worked at Walmart for nearly a decade and I’ve never seen anything like this.
We had a girl on our overnight crew, she got coached for being on the phone and we know this because she made a big post about it on Facebook, a little while later she points out and gets terminated.
Fast forward to about a month and a half/two months laters and this girl has been brought back by a dayshift coach who apparently went to the store manager and fought for her by telling him what a good worker she is even though he has no clue how good she is since he’s a dayshift coach and she’s now being promoted to team lead after a week.
What a load of shit right? Whole store is super pissed off about it, I’ve seen some scummy politics in my day but never anything this obvious.

Ok this is gonna be a very long, rambling, and probably somewhat disorganized post, so please bear with me.
I'm sure other people have had this same idea as well, but I'm not subscribed to the rebornevo forums and I'm not very active on this subreddit either, so I don't know how frequently it's been discussed outside of the small number of times I've seen it on Twitter, which still was after I had the thought when I first played V12 years ago. Even if it is I still wanted to try and organize my thoughts about it and present all of the evidence that brought me to think this even without engaging much with the larger community.
To jump right into it, the theory that I've been subscribing to for a pretty long time and was very confident in (until realizing some flaws with it) is that Madame X is the incarnation of Nymiera from Maria(nette)'s now dead universe, which is likely the same universe that Clear, Kieran, and potentially the Thunder Warrior Tapu Koko are from. She was defeated by her universe's Indriad but somehow managed to escape with her life, albeit badly injured, and was effectively out of commission, which led to Indriad eventually being able to bring about Storm 9 which would eventually lead to the end the world. Nymiera then likely got help from either her world's Xara and Jean, or Clear and Kieran themselves to construct her suit and escape to the next universe.
There's quite a few reasons I have to think this. I feel like a ton of evidence from throughout the game supports the idea, and I've been making note of them for years at this point. This is gonna be a bit meandering, but it's really difficult to organize thoughts about a plot as complicated as Rejuv's even if you're focusing on only one character, so again please bear with me:

• The most obvious point is that Madame X shows up directly in the prologue, to the Maria that becomes the one we meet in the Chrysalis manor. She clearly already has some amount of control over time at this point as well, meaning she had likely already claimed her world's time diamond but was unable to stop Indriad using it.
• Nymiera clearly still remembers the old world we learn about in the Third Layer. She knows Adrest by name and recognizes his presence within the player, hints at the emergence of the Zeight in the present day, and knows about the Archetype. Madame X, in the first cutscene where she's introduced at Blacksteeple, immediately refers to the player as the Interceptor, and she also clearly recognizes the power the Melia gains from the Archetype in the Bad Future. They in general seem to possess similar knowledge of major concepts like these.
  • Although you could argue that she might simply have learned about these things from Clear and Kieran, the fact that we see Madame X specifically talking to Maria in the prologue shows that she was at least aware of the Archetype already.
• This is an admittedly very small point that is potentially a coincidence, but I still want to acknowledge it: Madame X's suit seems to be evoking the image of a dragon and mostly uses dark colors. The two characters that we know are directly descended from Nymiera, Alexandra and Damian, favor Dragon and Dark type Pokemon, respectively.
• We know that Nymiera dual wielded crystal swords as her primary weapons rather than relying on Pokemon, and Madame X engages in combat almost exclusively with her sword. The only exception that we see is her attacking the player with her Yveltal at Blacksteeple Castle.
• We see the aforementioned crystal swords, as well as the corpse of Hazuki's Aegislash, within the storage room of the Chrysalis Manor, which all but confirms that Nymiera and the Defenders of Aevium were soundly defeated by Indriad in this timeline and he claimed their weapons as trophies.
  • As a small thought on the full fate of her world's defenders: Vivian was already dead because of the botched ritual, Hazuki was most likely killed, Anju was defeated but taken alive and imprisoned, likely to act as a potential vessel for Indriad (which is something I'd also like to talk about but that's best saved for another post). Given how cruel of a man Indriad is and how much he likes to torment people, I think that crippling Nymiera so she could no longer stand against him and then forcing her to live with the pain of her failure sounds like the type of thing he'd do. This is more of a headcanon, though, not something I'm actually trying to present as a major evidence for the theory.
• Because of .Karma Files we have explicit confirmation that Nymiera is an incarnation of Xerneas; it's a little on the nose for sure, but this can explain why she so heavily associates with the letter X, including why she took her name and took the name of Team Xen for her own, new organization even though it otherwise seems to be completely unrelated to the Team Xen of the Miera Region.
• If her mask is destroyed at the Pyramid, and she's effectively defeated prior to Clear and Kieran's intervention, she makes a remark about how the battle would have gone differently if not for her suit. It's vague, yes, but the implication is that the suit places some sort of limit on her power and she'd be far stronger without it, as while wearing it she can't fight at full capacity. This explains why she only wields one sword instead of two, as she likely can't dual wield without her full physical strength.
  • This next bit is straying into headcanon territory, so I don't fully count it for the theory, but we don't know exactly why she's wearing the suit; it's definitely not just to hide her identity, because there'd be far easier ways of doing that. I like to think that it's necessary for her to survive and limits her power to keep her from overexerting herself, similar to Darth Vader's suit from Star Wars. This would make sense with the idea I have that she was grievously wounded by Indriad even though she survived her fight with him.
• We know that there's a second Blacksteeple Castle on the same island that's hidden behind a protective barrier, which only Madame X can pass through. It's likely that this is the original Blacksteeple Castle and the one that we occupy during the prison arc is just a replica. We see in the Bad Future that Blacksteeple Castle has some sort of connection to Nymiera with the mosaic that we see. It's confirmed by Madame X that Blacksteeple was once Nymiera's castle, that she lost in the war mentioned in the legend that Nymiera tells to us. This would explain why Madame X is so protective of the original castle in the present day and why she can access it.
  • This would also explain why so much Xerneas iconography is still included in the replica of the castle.
• Speaking of Blacksteeple in the Bad Future: when confronted with the mosaic of Nymiera, Madame X calls her a cowardly and weak woman who couldn't protect what she needed to when it mattered most. This attitude already does make sense for her to have, but if she is the Nymiera who was defeated by Indriad in Maria's timeline, it only makes even more sense. She is so disgusted at herself for her own failure that she threw away her old name and forsakes her old actions, and looks down upon the Nymiera of the current timeline for making the same mistakes that she feels she did.
• We already know from the Regi sidequests in V13.5 that Nymiera's view of morality was a bit... warped, and she was willing to do some truly inhumane and manipulative shit if she thought it was necessary for the good of the many. Madame X's methods are obviously far more extreme than Nymiera's ever were, but even though her motivations and ultimate goal are unclear there's still hints that all of the things she's responsible for are, to her, just a means to an end. If Madame X is Nymiera, with her spirit having been broken by her failure to stop her world's Indriad, it's not hard to see how that already warped "Good of the many no matter the cost" mentality could evolve into doing absolutely anything to achieve her goals.
• The underground chamber in Kugearen where we find the Weird Diary has a lot going on, but the notable things are the statues of the Defenders,drawing of the Archetype, and map of present day Aevium. Hazuki's is missing, and Anju and Nymiera's are destroyed, with the game specifically noting that their eyes are torn out. There is no statue of Hazuki, and Vivian's is not only intact, but poised for battle. To break this all down a bit:
  • The Archetype symbol being so prominent as well as the present-day map show that it's someone who can both time travel and knows about the Archetype
  • The three states are of the Defenders that we know will suffer a poor fate.
    • Hazuki's is missing because she is the only that survived.
    • Vivian's is standing and complete because she was the only one able to mostly die on her own terms, but her spirit still struggled because of the failed spell; being poised for battle still lines up with the curse placed on her reincarnations.
    • Anju and Nymiera are both missing in the present day and were never seen again. Anju's fate is ambiguous, but obviously there's something going on with Angie (Which I have another theory about, but again, story for another post). Nymiera's spirit has appeared, but clearly can only do so much, as her only real act aside from talking to the player is transferring Hazuki's power to Saki.
  • Nymiera fancied herself an artist, and seemed to especially like working with stone given the many statues in Blacksteeple as well as the multiple stone carvings in her room.
  • All of this points to someone who can reliably time travel, knows of the archetype, has knowledge of Rift Pokemon, and has an intimate knowledge of the Defenders and their fates. Madame X is the only person who meets all of those first few qualifications, and it's also worth noting that Madame X's suit distinctly lacks eyes, similar to the two statues.

Essentially, the image I see with this is a Nymiera who became so disgusted at her own failures that she threw everything away, including her old identity, and and decided the best way to create a good world was to tear everything down and rebuild it herself, taking her belief in "The good of the many" to its furthest extreme and becoming a vengeful and bitter person in the process. She keeps "protecting" the Interceptor in hopes that their own quest will eventually guide them to resetting everything and destroying Karma for good.
However... in the process of thinking through this all over the last couple days, I realized several holes in this theory that I have to acknowledge, and keep it from really being an effective one.
First, if Nymiera is the avatar of Xerneas, then why is Madame X only ever seen using a Yveltal?
Second, the one aspect of Madame X's backstory story that she elected to reveal to us is about her mother. In her own words, "My "mother" was a weak individual who gave her life to protect me". Not only does Nymiera never hint at anything remotely similar this, but none of Adrest, Variya, or any of the files Adrest sends to Erin hint at anything even remotely close to this for Nymiera.
Third, which I think is the biggest issue: when we see Madame X's mask get broken by Sakitron at the pyramid, what little we see of her appearance doesn't exactly match up with Nymiera. What appears to be black hair could also just be a broken piece of her mask, her eyes are a bright red, and even though we barely see any skin, it visibly is not as dark as Nymiera's.
The first point is actually pretty easy to explain: the Yveltal is Indriad. Obviously we don't know how Indriad became a Yveltal, but there is precedent for shit like this happening and there's multiple hints towards it:

• Indriad is confirmed at the end of .Karma files is an avatar of Yveltal in the same way that Nymiera is one of Xerneas.
• In the Bad Future, when Melanie summons her Yveltal, she explicitly refers to it as her father. Melanie is a bad future version of Melia, Melia is in some capacity connected to Maria and is still explicitly related to Indriad's kids, the implication is pretty clear.
• There are other physical avatars of legendaries in the game: Spacea and Tiempa, who both can transform into the legendaries they are the avatars of. I don't know if it's ever been confirmed if Griselda was an explicit avatar of Giratina, but nonetheless, she was permanently transformed into one and can't change back. It's not unreasonable to see something similar happening to Indriad given that we don't know his final fate in the game's main timeline yet.
• Yes, this means there's some fucky shit going on with Angie, I have ideas about that as well but that also takes a ton of explanation and is best saved for a different post.

The other two though... I think more or less disprove the theory. Family-related trauma is already one of the game's biggest theme; if Nymiera had something related to her mother, it would have been made clear by this point. And there's just no way that I can think of to really justify the drastic difference in appearance between the two. I could simply handwave it and say "The differences in appearance are either a spriting error or a lighting thing with her helmet" and "We just haven't learned about Nymiera's mother yet", but both of those would just be copout answers to ignore.
I'm still confident that I'm onto something here and there is a connection between these two characters,
...so instead I came up with a crackpot theory that nonetheless I think has a nonzero chance of being true, although its much less liekly .
Madame X isn't an alternate universe Nymiera. She's an alternate universe Nim.
Is it a stupid assertion? Yes. But hear me out, starting with some of the more minor points:

• There is very obviously a connection between Nim and Nymiera. The game's placed a lot of emphasis on Nim's relationship to Alexandra and Damian, Nymiera's direct descendents, and Nim took her name from Nymiera's. When Nim appears in the flashback with Alexaandra and Damian she's calling out the names of Hazuki and the player character, yelling for them to watch out. This implies four things:
  • Nim originates in the past and was sent into the future.
  • Given that we haven't met her in the past, she probably comes into existence in the state that she already was.
  • Nim will meet the player and Hazuki in the past during some dangerous event, most likely a final battle with Indriad before Storm-9 fully hits, as we still don't know the final fate of the Defenders.
  • She doesn't say Anju and Nymiera's names, implying either something already happened to them or Nim was cut off in the middle of her sentence when she was sent forward in time.
• Despite Madame X claiming that Nymiera is dead, her spirit has appeared multiple times and is still very aware of the ongoing plot. Her body, however, has not.
• Clear going out of her way to manipulate Nim shows that Madame X likely has an interest in Nim herself.
• While she obviously prefers to use her psychic abilities, Nim's still clearly proficient with melee weapons as there's a handful of times where she uses her... hairpin things as a polearm of sorts.

There's three main reasons I think there actually is something here though: Nim's physical appearance, Madame X's "mother", and the reason Madame X needs her suit despite it making her weaker.
First: Nim's physical appearance is extremely similar to Madame X's under her mask. As Lorna, we can see that her pupils have a red hue very similar to Madame X's. Looking at both Nim's sprites and her official art, her skin tone is lighter than Nymiera's but still darker then most of the rest of the cast, which also lines up with the broken mask. Finally, assuming Madame X actually has black hair and that's not just a broken part of her mask in the sprite, Nim's hair is the same color.
Second: When Madame X mentions her "Mother", its quoted, presumably for air quotes. While it could just be her disrespecting her "Mother", it feels far more significant than that, like its moreso implying that whoever she's talking about wasn't her mother in the traditional sense. Madame X also states that the difference between her "Mother"'s sacrifice and the player's mom's sacrifice is that the player's mom's didn't matter; thus indirectly implying that Madame X's mom's sacrifice was important even if she looks down upon her mom for it. Assuming that Nymiera shares some connection to Nim- be it that Nymiera created her, Nim is her reincarnation, or something else- it's not unreasonable to think that Nim, after overcoming her memory issues, could view Nymiera as something of a mother figure, especially considering that Nim took her name Nymiera's because she felt a connection.
Third: The suit. There's a very obvious reason that Nim would need a suit to suppress her own power: to keep herself from draining the life force of her subordinates and stop her own Storm from getting out of control. It's a leap, sure, but it would explain why she needs a suit that actively inhibits her.
Why would Nim be doing all of this, and how would she become such a cruel and vengeful person? We see something similar happen to our own Nim through Clear's manipulation through preying on her fears and insecurities. Assuming bad enough shit happened to her, I could absolutely see an alternate universe Nim who lacked the support of characters like Aelita, Melia, and the Player going down this path.
Is this theory accurate? Probably not, but it was really fun to think about. I never fucking know what's gonna happen with this game which is why it's so fun to speculate about the absolute mess of lore that it has.
Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this massive ramble, it was fun to write and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day!

Hi,
A friend of mine is having difficulties in their role as an SDE2 at a major financial institution. Their supervisor is extremely critical of their work on each project task and often attributes every mistake to them while overlooking their successes. Originally hired for a different role, they were reassigned to their current position. This manager has even gone so far as to threaten a performance improvement plan, though this was not pursued after discussion with a higher-level manager. Recently, criticisms have become personal, with public comments about their supposed lack of competence.
My friend is concerned about the possibility of being terminated. What steps should they consider taking in this situation?
Should they be let go, how much notice are they typically given?

Hi Everyone,
I read all your comments, your ridiculous and harassing DM requests, your advice, etc...I just can't get to them all so I'll just provide you guys with the following:

1. I want to thank the ones who offered great advice and encouraging words of support and comfort. Instead of judging me or my son as if you all have known us for a long time - you all took the time to share your experience and how you all handled the situation, That was more helpful than anything.
   
2. I want to applaud the great parents out there who think they know my son because they've been 19 before and were thrown out into the streets to fend for themselves so they think they can relate. We all can't relate to each others' experiences, not fully. Also, I'm sorry your parents did that to you but just because you "turned out okay" doesn't mean that everyone else will. Apparently, you all didn't turn out okay because you all left some really shitty comments like there's a one size fit all manual for parenting. And I hope your kids (if you have any) will turn out okay or have turned out okay with your type of parenting without any resentment towards you.
   
3. I will not make my son move out of his home just for him to experience the ultimate struggle at the age of 19 - survival mode. Even though he's old enough to vote, go to war, be jailed for a crime - he is still a kid. We live in a HCOL area. You can't buy a townhome built in 1974 in my neighborhood for less than $450k. $20/hr is not even enough to survive here and actually live comfortably. He could move to a different county, but he drives to 3 different locations for work and the farther you are from those locations, the more you’re filling up your tank with gas and more time spent on the road. He is not going to find roommates as his friends who are also in CC are also struggling to make enough to even rent an apartment or be approved as all the properties here require that your income is 3x the annual amount of the rent. By kicking him out, it's not helping anyone. He'll just be homeless (ruin his credit) and come back. He might as well just figure out a budget and start squirreling away money to save up enough to move out. He is also transferring to a state school after CC and has brought up that he will not be living at home but live closer to campus.
   
4. He is/was not a bad kid. He is not on drugs. Yes, his father was and is still present. We've been married for 20 years. My in-laws also have helped us raise our kids (we live very close - like walk to their house close) so they have also experienced the old school type of parenting without the beatings. He's respectful, can be thoughtful most times, and very caring. His attitude the other day is still unacceptable and was the wrong way to express his emotions and thoughts but I was also wrong in the way I responded. My son has never been in fights, have never been called to the principal's office for doing dumb shit most teenagers do. He usually has a good head on his shoulders. Cops have never showed up at my door because he was out doing something stupid with his friends.
   
5. He works full time and goes to school full time because it's manageable for him. We have discussed that if doing both is too overwhelming, that he will cut back to working on a part time basis. But, for now, it's doable. He works from 6 am - 11 am. Gets home around 11:30 in the morning or goes straight to the CC for his in person classes. He also has online classes that he can do at his pace. He doesn't work on weekends so he can use that time to focus on his school assignments. He's also not your typical young adult who goes out every night to hang out with friends...he goes to work, school, gym, and home. Most of his friends are in school out of state playing D1 sports. As far as me thinking I know where my son is at all the time - I'm not just pulling this shit out of my ass - my family and I track each other through Life360. So I know where they are and where they've been and they can also see where I am and where I've been. And there's also Find My iPhone which we all share each other's locations. We all tend to misplace our phones in the house and we use it to make that annoying alarm sound.
   
6. He's probably the smartest kid I know. He started taking AP classes in 10th grade and on. He took AP Biology, AP Calculus, AP Physics, AP ASL, and AP Statistics. By the time he was in 12th grade, he managed to get enough credits that he could do school half day, go home, and then go to the after care program where he used to work. For a kid, he was pretty good at time management. Better than me as an adult now. I have the time management skills of a carrot (I have ADHD). He graduated with a 4.5 GPA (due to AP classes weighed at 5.0)
   
7. I'm not a perfect person nor a perfect parent. I'm learning as I go and doing the best I can with what I have. I may have fucked up sometimes along the way but I'm still a human being and we're all prone to fucking up. I've owned my mistakes and I strive to do better; not just for me, but also for my family.
   
8. Yes, he's a dick like most teenagers. I was a dick when I was a teenager. Probably worse than my kids. But he's not perfect and I don't expect him to be. We consider ourselves lucky that he didn't turn out to be a delinquent who barely passed HS or addicted to drugs and alcohol.
   
9. His lesson learned from this is that Mom & Dad aren't going to be around forever so might as well buckle up and enjoy the ride into financial literacy. He's going to start slow and figure out what works for him. We're not disowning him. No matter what, he's still our kid and we're going to move on from this and work something out so all parties are on the same page.
   
10. My kids are spoiled but they're not brats. Yes, we overcompensated to make up for our crappy childhoods but they have mostly been grateful for everything they have and that they have a great support system. They know that they have a great support system - it took and is taking a whole village to raise my children. Most of our family is local and they have positively contributed to the people that my children have become. They're not sheltered like some of you have stated on here. They are very much aware of what is going on around them and that there are other who are not so lucky. They didn't grow up with a silver spoon in their mouths - they were just lucky to be born into a family with loving parents and extended family.
    

I know that was long but I hope I've covered everything. This was the first time he's ever been this disrespectful - so this is not a constant thing, this is brand new. Waters are still rocky so I'm not going to bring this up until I've figured out how to approach him with this situation and some time has passed. No matter how you look at it, he doesn't have the emotional maturity as a full grown adult with a developed frontal lobe and have lived through multiple life experiences.
However, we're going to treat him like the young adult that he is and instill in him that he is responsible for how his life is going to turn out now that we've passed the reins over to him. Raising my kids have been the most exhausting, draining, and confusing thing I have ever done in my life. I was only 22 when he was born - I was a young mother, a wife, a college student, and a young adult who had to figure out life (and I still am). I have no resentment towards him and my daughter because I had them so young. If anything, I'm grateful as I had to learn how to stand on my own two feet and learn how to make better decisions for their sake. They didn't choose to be born - I made that choice for them and I promised myself that they will always grow up knowing they were loved and cared for. And they are - deeply. But as I said, I had the support of family - my husband's family who welcomed me and helped me throughout this journey.

Hey everyone, I’m mainly doing this for myself as a journal but whoever wants to join along is more than welcome to me. I’m hoping this becomes a success story and for my quality of life to stop being haunted. YOU DONT HAVE TO READ ALL OF THIS
I’m a 22 year old female in the US. I currently don’t have a job as I have been let go yesterday due to my unsuspecting symptoms and lack of communication. I can’t keep up with the regular 9-5 jobs and it’s turning into a pattern of me burning myself out. I don’t have anybody to rely on other than myself and I can’t get afford health insurance at the moment.
Current Symptoms: - Extreme Fatigue/Exhaustion - SouCurdling/Spicy tummy feeling? - Nausea/Contractions (especially after physical activity and eating or drinking) - Bloating/Gas/Gurgling -Rancid Smelling Poop - Acne - Regurgitating oil/grease - Recurrent yeast - Brain Fog/Confusion - Urinary Incontinence - Body Rashes/Allergic Reactions -Sugar Cravings - Migraines - Cotten Mouth/Dehydration - Malabsorption/Continual Hunger - Thinning Hair - Weight Loss - Weak Pelvic Floor? Tight/Tense Muscles? - Food in Stools (Not often) - Drunkness Feeling After Carbs? - Acid Reflux - Depression/Anxiety - Weak Immune System
Food Sensitivities that have developed: - Dairy -Gluten - Soy - Gastric foods/spices/drinks (including onion and garlic) - Processed Foods - Broths - Sugar (Fruit and All) - Starch - Acid (Fruits/Vinegars) - Medications (NSAIDS/Anti-Acids)
Tried treatments that I can remember: -Xifaxin (2 weeks) - Ortho Molecular Ortho Spore (2-3 months worked wonders but relapsed) -Dietitian: Low Fodmap Diet (3 months didn’t help) - Reuteri - B12, VitD, other vitamin supplements - Physical Therapy - Fluconazole - Boric Acid -Laxatives (basically all) - Collagen Peptides - Plant Based Protein Powder - Yoga
Most of Background: So I have been dealing with different illnesses that is a repeated pattern since I was possibly 12 years old. I would frequently have nasty migraines, stomach bugs, food poisoning, and respiratory infections out of the blue. It gotten to the point of my family always saying “there’s always something wrong with you”, “you’re just exaggerating”.
When it came to 2017, I started gaining rashes as allergic reactions. It couldn’t be classified as hives even though it looked the part because it would sting like a bitch instead of itching. It would run through out my body whenever I ate every so often and that was only on of the reactions as I had a second of my skin swelling as if it was a mosquito bite but worse and when the swelling went down, it would leave scars behind.
I went to an allergist and nothing popped up on the regular tests, but something popped up on the chemical patch test. The name of the chemical was called Balsam of Peru, it’s mainly a preservative that is in your common foods/beverages, cleaning products, and aerosols. I continued to have random allergic reactions here and there as it wasn’t feasible to follow a diet that strict in a household like mine.
Then came the end of 2019, I was having trouble with my stomach and would randomly gag from November til Jan 2020. I would literally start throwing up even if I had nothing in my stomach. I went to doctors but they kept thinking I was pregnant and would say my vitals were fine therefore there’s nothing wrong. One day mid Jan, I had throw up for the last time but there was something different..I couldn’t get up. I lost all strength in my legs and half of my strength in my arms. I went to the hospital and they did X-rays and scans just to say there was nothing wrong and it might be a virus that hit my nervous system. The next day they boot me out with nothing. I had to learn how to walk all over again like a baby until I gained my strength with only the help of my family which took about a month. Throughout that time I was still feeling sick and gagging/throwing up.
This is the point when my mom decides to get a referral to a GI and they look through my records from the hospital to find out I was backed up with waste up to my ribs. They did a horrifying flush on me and prescribed me linzess. It was getting me to poop more frequently but I still was feeling pretty sick often, it was manageable though.
I get to college, it was a shit show, I start to get more symptoms, like brain fog and fatigue. I thought it was all in my head at this point and tried my best in school but had low performance when I was used to easy A’s. I began to have yeast infections every so often. I start getting into vaping, smoking weed, and the occasional drinking. The vaping became chronic and whenever I would drink I would have alcohol poisoning like symptoms that were uncontrollable to the point where a couple of times I ended up in the hospital to get my stomach to stop contracting. I stopped all drinking and started becoming a religious smoker to deal with my symptoms, school, work, and every other stress in my life. All it did was make my health plummet even faster.
I finally got diagnosed with SIBO at the end of 2021 and thought “finally something!”, the GI thought to cure it was to give more laxatives to get my bowels to move more frequently. Instead it would turn me into a balloon that was about to burst but could not push anything out. The GI gave up anf I decided to move on. At this point I had to take a break from school because I was so tired whenever I woke up in the morning that I either slept completely through my alarms or I couldn’t physically get up out of bed. I constantly was having stomach issues. My yeast infections started coming at least 2x a month. I had so bad urinary incontinence that I had to wear diapers. I was dealing with so much stress with family, working, trying to make ends meet, trying different doctors that never helped and telling me different things. I was dealing with a psychologically abusive bf. Nobody believed how bad I felt everyday. How hard it was for me to eat, think, overall function like a human being. My bf seen it everyday but refused to acknowledge that when he says he understood that his actions would always say otherwise. It all mentally broke me and I crashed hard.
This brings me to practically the present. I cut contact with the EX bf and parents. I’m low contact with the rest of my family. I quit vaping for good, but the damage is already done. I am now on Wellbutrin and trying to pick up the pieces that are shattered. It’s been 6 months but my symptoms are worsening instead of getting better. I can’t hold down a 9-5 job, my stomach can’t and won’t tolerate anything. I starve myself most days, drink water and electrolyte drinks whenever my stomach take it.
Everyday I feel weak, exhausted, brain fog so bad that I can’t count to 5, stomach hurt. The last thing that made me question my entire existence, Saturday night I was starving so I made rice thinking it was the safest thing. The next morning I felt so drunk that I couldn’t function, I was so dehydrated and in so much pain I went to urgent care. The doctor looked at me as if I was on drugs, refused iv, and told me my symptoms were caused by trauma, it’s all in my head. She refused a work note as well. I felt a tad bit better after some electrolytes from home and went to sleep for work. I slept through my alarms and woke up 2.5 hrs late (total 14 hrs). I couldn’t move my body, text manager. She called after the shift explaining that she isn’t letting me go because of my illness, bc I failed to tell her about the day prior so she could plan accordingly. She wants me to focus on my health, it would’ve been kind if I wasn’t already drowning in debt and couldn’t even afford rent.
The reason why I wrote everything I could is because 1. I believe a lot of this is relevant to each other regarding SIBO and Candida in some way 2. It will help me for my future
If you made it this far CONGRATS 🎉🎊 🥳 And thank you for the support!

Hey everyone, I’m mainly doing this for myself as a journal but whoever wants to join along is more than welcome to me. I’m hoping this becomes a success story and for my quality of life to stop being haunted. YOU DONT HAVE TO READ ALL OF THIS
I’m a 22 year old female in the US. I currently don’t have a job as I have been let go yesterday due to my unsuspecting symptoms and lack of communication. I can’t keep up with the regular 9-5 jobs and it’s turning into a pattern of me burning myself out. I don’t have anybody to rely on other than myself and I can’t get afford health insurance at the moment.
Current Symptoms: - Extreme Fatigue/Exhaustion - SouCurdling/Spicy tummy feeling? - Nausea/Contractions (especially after physical activity and eating or drinking) - Bloating/Gas/Gurgling -Rancid Smelling Poop - Acne - Regurgitating oil/grease - Recurrent yeast - Brain Fog/Confusion - Urinary Incontinence - Body Rashes/Allergic Reactions -Sugar Cravings - Migraines - Cotten Mouth/Dehydration - Malabsorption/Continual Hunger - Thinning Hair - Weight Loss - Weak Pelvic Floor? Tight/Tense Muscles? - Food in Stools (Not often) - Drunkness Feeling After Carbs? - Acid Reflux - Depression/Anxiety - Weak Immune System
Food Sensitivities that have developed: - Dairy -Gluten - Soy - Gastric foods/spices/drinks (including onion and garlic) - Processed Foods - Broths - Sugar (Fruit and All) - Starch - Acid (Fruits/Vinegars) - Medications (NSAIDS/Anti-Acids)
Tried treatments that I can remember: -Xifaxin (2 weeks) - Ortho Molecular Ortho Spore (2-3 months worked wonders but relapsed) -Dietitian: Low Fodmap Diet (3 months didn’t help) - Reuteri - B12, VitD, other vitamin supplements - Physical Therapy - Fluconazole - Boric Acid -Laxatives (basically all) - Collagen Peptides - Plant Based Protein Powder - Yoga
Most of Background: So I have been dealing with different illnesses that is a repeated pattern since I was possibly 12 years old. I would frequently have nasty migraines, stomach bugs, food poisoning, and respiratory infections out of the blue. It gotten to the point of my family always saying “there’s always something wrong with you”, “you’re just exaggerating”.
When it came to 2017, I started gaining rashes as allergic reactions. It couldn’t be classified as hives even though it looked the part because it would sting like a bitch instead of itching. It would run through out my body whenever I ate every so often and that was only on of the reactions as I had a second of my skin swelling as if it was a mosquito bite but worse and when the swelling went down, it would leave scars behind.
I went to an allergist and nothing popped up on the regular tests, but something popped up on the chemical patch test. The name of the chemical was called Balsam of Peru, it’s mainly a preservative that is in your common foods/beverages, cleaning products, and aerosols. I continued to have random allergic reactions here and there as it wasn’t feasible to follow a diet that strict in a household like mine.
Then came the end of 2019, I was having trouble with my stomach and would randomly gag from November til Jan 2020. I would literally start throwing up even if I had nothing in my stomach. I went to doctors but they kept thinking I was pregnant and would say my vitals were fine therefore there’s nothing wrong. One day mid Jan, I had throw up for the last time but there was something different..I couldn’t get up. I lost all strength in my legs and half of my strength in my arms. I went to the hospital and they did X-rays and scans just to say there was nothing wrong and it might be a virus that hit my nervous system. The next day they boot me out with nothing. I had to learn how to walk all over again like a baby until I gained my strength with only the help of my family which took about a month. Throughout that time I was still feeling sick and gagging/throwing up.
This is the point when my mom decides to get a referral to a GI and they look through my records from the hospital to find out I was backed up with waste up to my ribs. They did a horrifying flush on me and prescribed me linzess. It was getting me to poop more frequently but I still was feeling pretty sick often, it was manageable though.
I get to college, it was a shit show, I start to get more symptoms, like brain fog and fatigue. I thought it was all in my head at this point and tried my best in school but had low performance when I was used to easy A’s. I began to have yeast infections every so often. I start getting into vaping, smoking weed, and the occasional drinking. The vaping became chronic and whenever I would drink I would have alcohol poisoning like symptoms that were uncontrollable to the point where a couple of times I ended up in the hospital to get my stomach to stop contracting. I stopped all drinking and started becoming a religious smoker to deal with my symptoms, school, work, and every other stress in my life. All it did was make my health plummet even faster.
I finally got diagnosed with SIBO at the end of 2021 and thought “finally something!”, the GI thought to cure it was to give more laxatives to get my bowels to move more frequently. Instead it would turn me into a balloon that was about to burst but could not push anything out. The GI gave up anf I decided to move on. At this point I had to take a break from school because I was so tired whenever I woke up in the morning that I either slept completely through my alarms or I couldn’t physically get up out of bed. I constantly was having stomach issues. My yeast infections started coming at least 2x a month. I had so bad urinary incontinence that I had to wear diapers. I was dealing with so much stress with family, working, trying to make ends meet, trying different doctors that never helped and telling me different things. I was dealing with a psychologically abusive bf. Nobody believed how bad I felt everyday. How hard it was for me to eat, think, overall function like a human being. My bf seen it everyday but refused to acknowledge that when he says he understood that his actions would always say otherwise. It all mentally broke me and I crashed hard.
This brings me to practically the present. I cut contact with the EX bf and parents. I’m low contact with the rest of my family. I quit vaping for good, but the damage is already done. I am now on Wellbutrin and trying to pick up the pieces that are shattered. It’s been 6 months but my symptoms are worsening instead of getting better. I can’t hold down a 9-5 job, my stomach can’t and won’t tolerate anything. I starve myself most days, drink water and electrolyte drinks whenever my stomach take it.
Everyday I feel weak, exhausted, brain fog so bad that I can’t count to 5, stomach hurt. The last thing that made me question my entire existence, Saturday night I was starving so I made rice thinking it was the safest thing. The next morning I felt so drunk that I couldn’t function, I was so dehydrated and in so much pain I went to urgent care. The doctor looked at me as if I was on drugs, refused iv, and told me my symptoms were caused by trauma, it’s all in my head. She refused a work note as well. I felt a tad bit better after some electrolytes from home and went to sleep for work. I slept through my alarms and woke up 2.5 hrs late (total 14 hrs). I couldn’t move my body, text manager. She called after the shift explaining that she isn’t letting me go because of my illness, bc I failed to tell her about the day prior so she could plan accordingly. She wants me to focus on my health, it would’ve been kind if I wasn’t already drowning in debt and couldn’t even afford rent.
The reason why I wrote everything I could is because 1. I believe a lot of this is relevant to each other regarding SIBO and Candida in some way 2. It will help me for my future
If you made it this far CONGRATS 🎉🎊 🥳 And thank you for the support!