Kindergarten plants

I forgot there was this whole other thing I was going to include that I forgot, my Roseanne conspiracy.
I don't know if maybe solving puzzle conspiracies is like the next step in human brain evolution or if i'm just a loser with too much free time. I only have like 3 faint memories of kindergarten, 1 of them is a very short conversation my teacher having with my mom about how i liked puzzles.
Anyways, when Roseanne Barr got cancelled for tweeting that shit about Valerie Jarrett, something just didn't seem right. Celebrities were already getting cancelled left and right, but this one seemed like way overboard. Absolutely nobody was talking about it, I didn't see a single thing where any regular person was talking about it or gave a shit, but the media was trying so hard to shove it down everyone's throats saying that EVERYONE was talking about it and making a HUGE deal about it. At first it just seemed like typical thirsty ass social media brands trying to be e-relevant.
But looking at it years later I noticed a few things. In the rebooted 10th season of Roseanne, her character developed a drug addiction problem throughout the season, and then it ended on a cliff hanger where she could possibly die. Then when they brought the series back under the new name The Conners, they try to play it off like they only killed her character off because of the scandal, not because the seeds were already planted. And then I realized her tweet that got her in trouble was actually posted literally just days after the final episode of Roseanne season 10 aired. The timing was so obvious, this was all just a huge publicity stunt to bring attention and hype to the new spinoff series where they continue on without her.
That's basically all there is to that one. I have a few others I want to eventually delve into more, such as Tupac is alive and most likely living in South America, cause after he faked his death its unlikely he would have gotten on a plane, and since he was in Vegas when he supposedly died, its only about a 7 hour drive to Mexico from there. Another conspiracy I have is that Michael Jackson was totally in on the scandals against him, the whole thing was fabricated just to sell magazines, everyone involved made insane amounts of money off that bullshit. Also the 2 or 3 people who down vote all my posts aren't as cool as they think they are, they always down vote within 15 minutes of me posting anything, its like get a life fool, you ain't foolin nobody, we know this is what you do on friday nights, go play outside.

Dear Teachers - I just quit my job (I know the school year is almost over) because I just could not take it anymore. I really need YOUR advice! I worked at a multilingual school for almost ten years. Loved every minute of it until there was a change in admin and… when you know you know. It was time to go. I landed in this new school as a 4s and 5s teacher. Director wanted me to implement my Montessori philosophy and get the children ready for kindergarten. Fabulous! It is an all Chinese school. Meaning students do not speak English at all. Teachers don’t speak English at all. Everything is written and directed in Chinese. I was supposed to do English immersion and just go with the flow of the school year. The children’s independence skills were close to none. Five years old did not know how to dress themselves or put a jacket on. Language barrier was a big challenge.
With this in mind, the downfall was the following:

• Onboarding training was zero.
• Director wanted me to get the children fully speaking in English in ten months.
• I was asked to teach reading and writing by the end of the school year (Some of them did not know how to spell or pronounce their English name for starters, only their Chinese names)
• The goal for math was for them to learn the four operations.
• Parents expectations were high and their involvement in acquiring English for their children was zero.
• Lead teacher meetings were ALL Chinese, meaning I just sat there every week and write doodles in my notepad. Always lost, tired of asking “what was that?”
• It is a Christian school. Even though they knew I was not Christian I was asked to pray out loud in meetings every once in a while.
• As the only English speaking person in the whole system, the director criticized me based on what others told her about me. Never observing my class, never assessing the lessons.
• I was instructed to take daily pictures of every student and share it to parents. Write to parents the lesson plans daily, monthly and a newsletter plus what and how much they had for snack and lunch. Daily.
• The lack of inclusion was absorbing my mental health.
• With all of this, the last straw was that a teacher and a parent said that I was not teaching my students anything because when they assessed them, the students seemed lost.

I tried. I tried my hardest to fit in but there was no place for me. I must say most of my students are now English speakers (I’m Chilean by the way). They now know that this world is called Earth and has continents. Cycle of animals and plants. Food preparation. Tracing. Using scissors. Some of them are reading, all know their numbers and phonics and they are thriving as children instead of little adults with that pressure of academics but no life skills.
I feel like a failure. Parents will see it as the teacher who ditched a class instead of an employee who tried her hardest. I am afraid I will have the same level of criticism in my next school. I am afraid I was failure this whole time.
Need advice please. Thank you!

14-minute read.

average monthly nominal salaries and YoY change in Q1 2024

Yerevan +8% to ֏324K/$836
Syunik +7% to ֏295K/$760
Shirak +7% to ֏142K/$366
Yerevan had the highest wages. Syunik had the highest wages among provinces, while Shirak had the lowest.
REPORT: While the average nominal monthly salary does not always show the level of economic prosperity in a region, its rise has made a tangible difference in Syunik.
SUREN PARSYAN (economist): Syunik has higher wages and strong employment. It is the most prosperous province with the lowest unemployment poverty rate in Armenia: 24% in Armenia, 15% in Yerevan, and 2% in Syunik.
REPORT: Over the last 5 years, the average monthly nominal salaries have risen by 40% while the inflation was 21%.
source,

Armenian army launches command staff exercises

They will exercise the practical implementation of deployment and combat plans, evaluate the commanders' skills, improve the synchronized work between various groups, develop the officers' moral characteristics and practical skills during preparation and combat operations, etc.
They will use automated control systems and modern technologies during the exercises.
source,

Armenia and India will form a new working group for defense cooperation

Defense ministries of AM and IN held a meeting on Tuesday. They discussed the 2024-2025 cooperation plan and the creation of a new working group to coordinate the cooperation.
source,

from PM Pashinyan's speech at Copenhagen Democracy Summit:

PASHINYAN: Democracy has indeed become a reality in Armenia. Before the 2018 Velvet Revolution, massive electoral frauds were the usual companion of elections in Armenia. There was no trust among the citizens that there was a real chance for them to elect the government.
Now the situation is totally different; citizens know that they are powerful enough to decide. The two general elections that were held in Armenia after the Velvet Revolution have been acknowledged as democratic, free, and competitive both by the Armenian society and the international community.
Armenia made huge progress in strengthening the democratic institutions, an achievement reflected in reputable democracy indexes:
(a) Now we are the 43rd in the Reporters Without Borders’ Freedom of Speech index, compared to 79th place in 2017.
(b) Categorized as having partially free internet in 2017 by Freedom House, now we enjoy the status of a country with free internet.
(c) In Transparency International’s Corruption Perception Index, Armenia is now 62nd instead of 107th in 2017.
(d) In the Economist Intelligence Unit’s democracy index we are 84th compared to 111th in 2017.
In order to assess this progress, it's essential to note that alongside democratic reforms, Armenia has been contending with external security challenges: the 44-day war in Nagorno-Karabakh, Azerbaijan's invasion of Armenia in 2021 and 2022 and the occupation of over 200 km² amid inaction by [Russia's] CSTO, the forced displacement of over 100,000 Armenians from Nagorno-Karabakh, have cast doubts among Armenian citizens weather democracy is the right choice. So, democracy needs to prove its efficiency while dealing with security, economic and humanitarian challenges.
We are pleased with the deployment of EU monitoring mission alongside the Armenian-Azerbaijani border, and we welcome EU’s decision to expand its capacity. On the other hand, we hope for the inclusion of Armenia into the European Peace Facility and in this regard, we rely on the support of all EU member states [Hungary].
A new set of commitments aimed at strengthening Armenia’s economic resilience, state institutions, and addressing the humanitarian needs of refugees has been taken on by the European Union and United States during the high-level meeting on April 5 in Brussels. The rapid and effective implementation of those commitments is of utmost importance.
Despite all the challenges, we believe that the real and most aspiring companion for democracy is lasting and sustainable peace. My government took the share of its responsibility for this. Recently we reached an agreement with Azerbaijan to launch the delimitation of our interstate borders on the basis of the Almaty Declaration of 1991. That means that during the delimitation we should simply reproduce the Soviet-era administrative borders. This is the implementation of the agreement reached in Prague in 2022. Now it is time to incorporate and reflect those agreements in the peace treaty and have it signed.
Another key point for our regional stability is the «Crossroads of Peace», project, initiated by my government. This project implies that Armenia and Azerbaijan restore and open transport and other communications in accordance with the sovereignty and jurisdiction of the countries through which they pass, and comply with the principles of equality and reciprocity. These elements of the concept were agreed upon during the July 2023 meeting with Ilham Aliyev and Charles Michel. //

... Politico reporter's Q&A with Pashinyan

REPORTER: [Ex-NATO leader] Anders Fogh Rasmussen called your neighbor an autocracy. You are in a very difficult geopolitical and geographical position. How do you solve the security problem in that environment?
PASHINYAN: I would not like to comment on the internal situation of our neighboring countries. Democracy fully corresponds to the mentality of our people. It is a strategy for our government, it is our political belief, it is also our political identity. The members of our political team have spent most of their lives fighting for democracy, the rule of law, and freedom of speech. Now we have the opportunity to realize all these values in our country.
The security situation was complicated because of the regional and global situation; the world order is collapsing at the moment. My assessment is, and I have had occasion to say this publicly, that the 2020 war was a prelude to further developments. And now the main issue is security.
What is our strategic point of view, how are we going to guarantee the security of our country? Recently, I gave a speech in our parliament, where I said that the most important tool for ensuring security is a foreign policy based on legitimacy. This is the reason why we so often speak about the 1991 Almaty Declaration.
It is very important that during the 2022 Prague meeting, two very important agreements were reached. Armenia and Azerbaijan recognize each other's territorial integrity and sovereignty on the basis of the Almaty Declaration and will use it as the basis for the border demarcation. This is the reason why I said that we are not drawing a new border, we just need to reproduce the existing one on the ground. This process is happening right now, and I hope that we will continue it steadfastly.
REPORTER: The border conflict that has occurred in recent years has had a negative impact on relations with Russia and Russia's role for Armenia. What would you say about this?
PASHINYAN: Armenia is a member of CSTO. We are officially a CSTO member, but I have announced that we have frozen our participation.
REPORTER: So are you still a member or...?
PASHINYAN: It is a matter for further discussion, but it is very important to record the current situation. A crisis arose in our relations after Azerbaijani troops invaded Armenia, and according to CSTO procedures, the Organization and its member states had to support Armenia in this situation. But even after the formal application, the CSTO refused to take any concrete steps, and in fact, that is the main reason for freezing our participation in the CSTO at all levels.
REPORTER: Do you expect the West to occupy the current vacuum and ensure your security?
PASHINYAN: We are diversifying our foreign relations in all spheres. Now we are developing defense cooperation with India, France, and other countries. We have a certain cooperation with the European Union because as I mentioned, we are happy about the deployment of the EU Civilian Observation Mission on the border. It is a civilian mission but in a way, it is a new factor for the security of our region. This is the first time that the European Union participates in the security agenda of Armenia.
REPORTER: Would you like to become an EU member?
PASHINYAN: We are waiting for the EU's decision to include Armenia in the European Peace Facility. We also hope to start visa liberalization negotiations, and last year I announced in the European Parliament that Armenia is ready to be as close to the European Union as the European Union deems it possible. This is our position.
REPORTER: Can you elaborate on what initiatives Armenia is taking in the fight against corruption?
PASHINYAN: We have made huge progress but have not eradicated corruption from Armenia. We must continue to be persistent in the agenda of democratic reforms. This is the reason why cooperation with the European Union is of utmost importance for us because today the European Union is our main partner in the implementation of our democratic reform agenda. We hope that the European Union, as well as the USA, will increase their support to Armenia in the implementation of democratic reforms, because, as I said, democracy is a strategy for us.
By the way, in 2019 we started a Strategic Dialogue with the USA, and today we see the strengthening of our cooperation with the European Union. We recently had a tripartite meeting with the participation of the USA, EU, and Armenia. It was an unprecedented format, where we adopted a huge agenda of institutional and economic reforms. It is also very important that we receive more tangible support from the EU and the US to address the humanitarian needs of the Nagorno Karabakh refugees because it is a very sensitive and emotional issue for us.
REPORTER: In which year would you like Armenia to become a member of the EU?
PASHINYAN: This year [as soon as possible]. //
Pashinyan met Anders Fogh Rasmussen. The latter emphasized the importance of the “Crossroads of Peace” project in the context of unblocking the regional infrastructure.
Pashinyan discussed various topics with the PM of Denmark. The latter accepted his invitation to visit Armenia.
full video, source, video, other, other, source, video,

former regime continues to hold protests and briefly shut down roads in Yerevan with demands for PM Pashinyan's resignation

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Dozens of participants were detained and released the same day for blocking roads. The detentions decreased from 170 on Monday to ~63 on Tuesday. They want Pashinyan to resign or to be impeached. The protest organizers visited universities to gather student supporters, some of whom joined them with a dance. The organizers also stopped by at a bakery where they were given free food.
A felony investigation was launched after a police vehicle, "with the sirens on", struck a reporter on the street. In another instance, an investigation was launched against a protester who brought a long sword. One other case was launched over alleged threats made on Facebook by a Galstanyan fan who wants scores of people to be beaten in dalans and exiled from Armenia, "մենակ էտ դեպքում էս սրբազան հողը կմաքրվի էս տեսակ շան ծնունդներից, ուրիշ ձև չկա!!!!"
ԳԼՈՒԽ 2
A ruling faction member of Yerevan City Council complained about "harassment" by opposition figures who are attempting to convince ruling party members to join the protests and the impeachment.
RULING MEMBER: That is not how it works. No one will join you with that conduct. People will join if they see you have a legitimate agenda with trustworthy leaders. Instead, you are "ethnically cleansing" the citizens of Armenia [referring to one opposition speaker telling non-Armenians to leave] և հեռու չէ են օրը երբ դուք գուցե ասեք որ հայ լինելու համար պետք է Հայկ նահապետից տեղեկանք բերել: //
ԳԼՈՒԽ 3
Yesterday the protest co-organizer Archbishop Bagrat Galstanyan said he received a report suggesting that the Deputy Rector of Yerevan State University supposedly urged deans and others to retaliate against students who joined the protests. Galstanyan said he was unsure whether the report was true, but decided to read it out loud anyway. On Tuesday he rallied his supporters to the backyard of the University where he demanded to speak with the Deputy Rector for clarification.
The Deputy Rector went downstairs and greeted Galstanyan, who shook her hand but wouldn't let it go for an uncomfortably long period, prompting her to ask him to let go of her hand. The Deputy Rector declared that whatever Galstanyan read about her was a defamatory lie.
GALSTANYAN: I never believed it myself.
DEPUTY RECTOR: Then you should not have said out loud something you did not believe.
GALSTANYAN: Listen, there is a recorded fact...
DEPUTY RECTOR: Where is that "recorded fact"?
GALSTANYAN: It was on the media. As I said yesterday, I had no verification that it was true, which is why we came here to clarify it. If it's false, then I apologize.
DEPUTY RECTOR: Thank you. //
The Deputy Rector urged the protest organizers not to enter the building or disrupt the classes, and that "anyone who wants to follow you can follow you, anyone who wants to stay in classrooms should stay in classrooms".
The angry Deputy Rector left. Another university official criticized Galstanyan for not checking the information before reading it to his followers. Galstanyan said he stands behind his words, and that he was "just reading what was on the media", but reiterated that he had no intention to insult the Deputy Rector.
ԳԼՈՒԽ 4
Galstanyan and his supporters visited the monument dedicated to Operation Nemesis. He praised the figures behind Nemesis for "assuming personal responsibility". In front of the crowd, Galstanyan introduced Hambig Sassounian who recently joined his movement. He pointed to the Nemesis monument and said Sassounian is "one of the successors, one of the brightest people." In related news, on Sunday a ruling faction MP complained about receiving death threats with reference to Operation Nemesis.
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DANIEL IOANNESIAN (NGO chief): When this protest dies down, we need to discuss the following: (1) The transparency of political and media funding. There are some regulations in place, but they are incomplete and easily bypassed. For example, I'd like to know who paid for Archbishop Galstanyan's giant stage in Republic Square. In 2018 Pashinyan organized a fundraising for it and disclosed a detailed report. (2) Should the media organizations that do not respect the rules of financial transparency enjoy all the mechanisms for the protection of journalists? (3) Are the customs authorities confident that the church is not facilitating the business activities of certain figures disguised as donations? (4) Is it fair for the church and clergy members not to pay taxes? Should they be able to have a Bently and LX570 without paying taxes? [The "Bentley" is based on a true story.]
ԳԼՈՒԽ 6
Archbishop's fans spotted Miss Armenia 2003 and a H1 host Lusine Tovmasyan drinking a coffee at a Yerevan café and approached her.
PROTESTER: (unintelligable)
LUSINE: I was here drinking coffee yesterday, and a year before that.
PROTESTER: Why have you not joined the holy struggle?
LUSINE: Լավ եկեք թարգեք, շատ զզվելի ա, էնքան զզվելի ա․ //
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Pro-Kremlin propagandist Alexander Dugin praised the pro-Russian forces' protests in Armenia and criticized the pro-EU protests in Georgia.
Pro-Kremlin Russian politician Semyon Baghdasarov praised Archbishop Bagrat and the ongoing "uprising" in Armenia against the "traitor" [Nikol] who "rigged" the elections with the help of "Turkey, UK, and US". Nikol is a Turkish MI6 agent. video,
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Video of a protest recorded from above: video
source, video, video, video, video, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, video,

Armenian government has upgraded other diplomatic channels to reduce reliance on ARF's diaspora structures in the US, says pro-West NGO chief

KHURSHUDYAN: The status of the Armenian Ambassador to the U.S. [Lilith Makunts] has been significantly upgraded. I won't go into specifics because it's tied to our neighbors, but she plays an interesting role there. We have great conditions for the U.S. Congress to pressure Azerbaijan. This is outside of ARF's lobbyist groups in the U.S.
REPORTER: ARF Hay Dat's recent conduct has been shameful.
KHURSHUDYAN: And its influence on the Lemkin Institute was obvious. //
Yesterday Kurshudyan accused the Lemkin Institute of caving to ARF's pressure and meddling into Armenia's internal affairs to assist the protests by the pro-Russian former regime.
KHURSHUDYAN: Lemkin Institute accused Pashinyan's April 24 genocide remembrance day statement of containing "victim blaming". Lemkin did not comment on Pashinyan's statement for several weeks, waited 15 days, and as soon as these pro-Russian protests began in Armenia, they gave them a պաս:
source,

Armenia's four most prominent pro-West opposition parties announce the formation of a unified platform

Republic Party, led by ex-PM Aram Sargsyan.
Hanun Republic Party, led by Arman Babajanyan.
European Party of Armenia, led by Tigran Khzmalyan.
Christian-Democratic Party, led by Levon Shirinyan.
Have the following agenda...
(1) Promotion of Western values in Armenia and Armenia's membership in EU and NATO.
(2) United front against threats and risks of destabilization coming from Russia.
(3) Vetting judges to clean up the courts, and resolution of issues left unaddressed by the Pashinyan administration.
(4) Continuation of border demarcation based on 1991 Almaty.
(5) The use of international law to achieve a fair resolution for Nagorno-Karabakh residents.
The platform is open for like-minded forces to join.
source,

Armenian army chief denies being a Russian citizen

A statement released by the defense ministry denies media reports that CoGS LtGen Edward Asryan is a dual citizen of Russia. His wife is an ethnic Russian with Armenian citizenship and his kids are dual citizens, but Asryan only has citizenship in Armenia. The whole family has resided in Armenia since 2006, said the statement.
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Georgia passes controversial ‘foreign agents’ bill despite widespread opposition

The law will require organizations receiving more than 20% of their funding from abroad to register as “agents of foreign influence” or face crippling fines.
The bill will be sent to the President who is expected to veto it, but her veto is expected to be overruled by the parliamentary majority later.
Georgian PM Kobakhidze had an "honest conversation" with U.S. deputy foreign minister James O'Brien, telling him that the Georgian government is interested in deepening the partnership with the U.S., "which requires mutual efforts and relations based on fairness."
James O'Brien demanded to speak with the manager - Bidza Ivanishvili. The latter refused to meet O'Brien, saying he won't hold any meetings under "blackmail".
The White House said the U.S. will review its relations with Georgia if the bill becomes law.
source, source, source,

how many of the 101,000 Nagorno-Karabakh refugees have left Armenia and haven't returned yet?

As of...
Dec: 6.6K
Jan: 6.9K
Mar: 8.0K
Apr: 9.1K
May: 9.9K
The former Ombudsman of Nagorno-Karabakh said many of them have family members and friends in Russia who invite them to move.
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temperatures are rising rapidly in Armenia

REPORTER: The rainy May is not going to be enough to alleviate the negative consequences of the rapidly rising temperatures in Armenia. With a ~3 Celsius anomaly, Armenia had the second-highest increase in temperature over the last 6 months among a group of monitored countries.
WEATHER CENTER: High temperatures increase the evaporation of water and reduce the amount of snow in the winter. In December and January, we recorded rain instead of snow in certain mountainous regions, which is bad for water resources.
REPORTER: A conference was recently held in Yerevan within the framework of the UN Convention to Combat Desertification.
UN official: Around 40% of global soils are degraded. Millions of people will be forced to migrate from their communities by 2050 as a result of climate problems. Emergency action is needed to reduce the rate of rising temperatures. //
Armenia joined the Convention three decades ago and has assumed the responsibility to restore degraded soil by 2030. The government is promoting drip irrigation systems for farming and wants to plant more trees.
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is the decline of Lake Sevan levels finally slowing down?

see the YoY chart

Yerevan Municipality to receive a €25 million loan from European Investment Bank to raise energy efficiency

It's part of the implementation of Eastern Partnership programs. The Armenian government and the EU are co-financing it.
The goal is to raise energy efficiency and carry out seismic retrofitting in 6 medical clinics and 32 kindergartens run by the municipality. The length of the program is 4 years.
video, video,

Gagik Tsarukyan is inside you

there is a bit of Tsarukyan inside all of you
see it to believe it

Gagik Tsarukyan says the new Jesus statue is ready and will be installed by the end of 2025

It will be a tourist attraction site. There will be a ropeway. Also, Tsarukyan needs you to know that he is a man of God and an avid believer.
video,

Armenia and Slovakia discussed AM-EU visa liberalization

source,

Lithuania will help retrain Armenian law enforcement agents to combat cybercrime, analyze crimes, etc.

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Armenia's Economy Minister Papoyan met the U.S. Assistant Secretary of State for Energy Resources Geoffrey Pyatt

In a Washington meeting participated by the Armenian Ministry delegation and Armenia's Ambassador, they spoke about the Crossroads of Peace logistics project proposed by Armenia, several topics relating to Armenia's energy and economic security, and the Armenian government's ongoing efforts to classify Armenia as a "market economy".
source,

Armenia and Iran discussed the construction of a second bridge over the River Araks

The first bridge began operating in 1996. It came to replace the floating bridges on the river.
Iran says the AM-IR traffic through the Meghri checkpoint significantly increased last year. Coupled with the fact that Armenia is building a modern North-South highway, they believe it's necessary to have a second AM-IR bridge to handle the rising traffic.
The parties are currently discussing the formation of a working group consisting of experts to discuss the topic.
source,

a new study on mice indicates that more exercise might be better than more sleep for clearing brain of toxins

They injected a dye into a brain and tracked the speed of its movement during sleep and exercise.
The findings show that the clearance of the dye was reduced by 30% in sleeping mice compared with mice that were kept awake. This has not been confirmed on humans yet.
Previous research has suggested that sleep is important for preventing dementia as it is during this time that toxic proteins are cleared from the brain.
source, source,

Hardening off on and off due to weather in northern Utah snowing and hailing last week. Just planted my first two beefsteaks and I’m freaking out like a mom sending their child to kindergarten (no I’m not comparing children to plants calm down, but kinda with how I feel) 😱

Started in 1960 and it was rough. Heating issues, water cuts, backed up sewers... but I made it to 10k people. In 1968 I had to enable cheat mode for a one time "loan forgiveness". I built up debt into 1980 but finally turned the profitability corner. So here's what I'm going to try to do in my next play:
Macro Layout
Pollution is king. When things ramped up, 400 meters wasn’t enough. Put the edge of housing a full kilometer from industry and waste handling.
Rail is important early. Lay in a single rail line to pull gravel for construction, coal for a heating plant + bricks, and connecting the farm to the industry. Build your construction industry on one side of the border and your manufacturing industry on the other side of it.
City layout
Start with a bus stop and building your residential buildings 200 meters max away from it. Put paths parallel to roads. Create redundant paths to everything so upgrading to gravel, asphalt, etc. doesn’t break things. Build all your housing on one side of the bus stop initially.
Put city services based on vehicles (police, fire, etc.) outside the core of the city. They’ll only be walkable to half of the city compared to the bus stop but the city can be larger. Same with university and schools. Schools, kindergartens, etc. may become overcrowded as the city grows. Build the large hospital in the core as despite having ambulances it is primarily a walking building.
Transfer for big waste (large) should be at the edge of your city and connected to a rail line. Technical services delivers to there. From there, a rail line eventually exports it for handling. Until the rail station is built, use a distribution office to export waste. Sorting is key and should be researched early. Use Stand for big waste containers (small) attached to roads to collect waste whenever possible. Stand for small containers (large) can be used when footpath access is the only option but it’s remarkably less efficient. Citizens produce about 1:3 biological waste to mixed waste so allocate containers accordingly. Within the city only hospitals create hazardous waste and nobody creates aluminum waste.
Build the small party headquarters to start, then the large technical university. You'll need the numbers for faster education and faster tech tree climbing.
Import 3rd world immigrants once you have a minimum educated base to staff your schools. They're way cheaper. Quality housing > dense housing. Dense is great but dense and poor quality = high resource intake and low productivity. Densify in your second city, or rework.
Monuments only get your to 40% loyalty so don't lose your mind on it.
Water and Power
Redundant and parallel. Every time you place a transformer, place a high six way high voltage splitter with it. You will branch your power network to more places over time and need to reroute wires which you can only do while online with open switch ports. Never use the last switch port without building another chained switch.
Similarly, always branch your water and sewer. Unfortunately you can’t have multiple inputs to a line, but you can at least make sure that you can keep branching until the upstream has nothing left to give. Pay attention to pressure. Build the large water tower to supply the town.
Intake water quality is key. Your wells must be placed where pollution won’t reach. Industry should be fed directly from a well so you’re not spending chemicals purifying water. The more polluted the water is, the more chemicals you’ll have to spend to clean it up and that gets expensive very quickly.
Treating wastewater gives a massive reduction in pollution but also takes an expensive amount of chemicals. Best to put your outlet far away if possible instead of trying to treat the water. Drop a sewer switch (remember, always an empty outlet on every switch for infra changes!) before the outlet in case you change your mind.
Roads
Vehicles use the same amount of fuel as long as they’re in motion. If your vehicle top speed is a fraction of your road speed, you’re wasting money. Road stretches of ~500 meters need to be paved and should probably be divided highways. Tight industrial roads with lots of turns can be gravel because you won’t accelerate much anyway. Panel roads are also pretty good as intermediates here. If you’ve got advanced roads on, make sure to set give ways at every highway intersection or your vehicles will drop down to 50 km/h at every one.
Your center of town road probably gets congested and you can help that by banning heavy goods vehicles except supply.
Industry
Focus around one large long warehouse with a train connection at the end and factories directly connected around the warehouse. Central warehouse should have:

• Food factory
• Fabric factory
• 2x Clothing factory
• Chemical factory (possibly 2x)
• Livestock farm

The livestock farm is a bit of a wildcard. It consumes a lot of water and generates a lot of wastewater. Plan for this and consider whether it should be located near your farm or near your factory. I lean towards keeping it with the factory for the sake of concentrating your workforce on one high-throughput passenger line. We'll see how the next playthrough goes.
Mining
Steel is my highest cost and getting to a steel mill that runs even at 5% of capacity seems highly worthwhile. Find coal, colocate with coal mining, attach to train line. Attach transfer to large waste and manage as needed. General separation on site may be reasonable.
Farms
Grow locally. Farms are basically the one thing that doesn’t require people to produce profit or at least reduce cost. As the input to one of your early money makers (clothing)
Economy
Clothing is a top export and accessible early which is key. Build for it, use your own crops, and fill in the rest of the supply chain as you can (chemical plant). Same for steel after some time: find the iron, move it over… but start with making the plant run even with imports.
The republic runs on steel. Want to move something efficiently? You need rails and steel. Want to store it? More steel. More efficient building or process? Going to take steel.
Find coal, make steel. When you have steel, get the radio station going. Yeah, that's not an industry but the productivity boost from loyalty boost is huge.
Now that you have clothing and steel going, make a refinery.
From this point, find the most expensive import and produce it locally until the most expensive doesn’t matter. From there, climb the tech tree into autos and nuclear power. Expand to new cities.

Howdy and Happy Mothers Day!
Intro:

I'm CSRyl and I recently decided I wanted to 100% SA2 after recently rediscovering it for the umpteenth time in my life. Not much to tell for the reason why. I played the game a lot when I was a kid as I'm sure a lot of anyone reading this did and I feel ready to take it serious and complete the game. As I did back then I'll be doing this completely on the gamecube version of the game.

Weekly Recap:
Clocking in a third recap on Project: Cheese. As a recap, last week I completed Cheese's first 'life' to 99 with took any number I was handed. This time I'm going to be a bit more meticulous with what numbers I get. I originally wanted to hit 99 stamina just to get it out of the way and start working on drives but this week has me on a total pivot in perspective.
Current weeks thoughts and status:
I want to first and foremost apologize to stamina for ever doubting it or calling it a pain. This week I stamina was absolutely goated. I was hitting back to back to back 30's on stamina like nothing. I'm coping but I swear stamina has better rates or something. I touched on using the chaos drives just while I figure out what stat I'd like to look at next and I swear my resets on stamina were 1/4 of my total resets even though it was my primary focus.
For this next week, given that I have a little better perspective on time sink, I'd like to get stamina to 99, 3200 as well as one of the chaos drive stats. I'm not entirely sure which one but I'll settle on it tomorrow or Tuesday.
https://preview.redd.it/genz0fvh130d1.jpg?width=378&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e12ec6968fd97bac0bbc94fd1e8118fcd345783

Stats:	Current:	Projected: (2024-05-19)	Max Allowable 29's
Swim	Lv.12, 605	SAC	15
Fly	Lv.12, 604	SAC	14
Run	Lv.12, 607	SAC	17
Power	Lv.12, 604	Lv. 99, 3200	14
Stamina	Lv.60, 2050	Lv.99, 3200	20

**SAC = Same as Current**
As I write this I guess I've made the choice to focus power next lol.
Closing:
Actually as an afterthought in case anybody reading was interested in starting something similar. I found leveling stamina to be more fluid (to get fruit) by purchasing two strong seeds from black market (1k rings) and getting your chao to plant them. Any more fruit than that and you kind of just exceed the gardens cap for available fruit at one time and you waste rings while your tree dies anyways.
While you wait for the tree to grow you can put your chao in kindergarten because I'm sure most people would want them to learn all the tiny emotes and sit in the vacant garden. I usually get up for half hour or so and leave my gamecube on then come back and start feeding her, works wonders and you get a nice breather.
https://preview.redd.it/z4p8rkkw030d1.jpg?width=151&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c9e553f1712f27a8489df2795e8daca4c4cba2e
Thank you for reading and enjoy some Cheese for your troubles.
Chao for now o/ (heheheh)

I got a card made by my 6yo son in his kindergarten class. It was one of those “fill in the blanks” about your mom, with a drawing, etc.
I’ve taken up gardening since going sober, my “new addiction”, if you will. So the blanks are all “our favorite thing to do together is… to plant flowers”, my mom is really good at “planting plants”. Lmao it’s really sweet.
If my life had stayed on its previous trajectory, it may have been full of “my mom is really good at.. drinking wine.” Etc etc.
So glad and grateful. <3
Happy Mothers Day.

This year I will finally graduate from college, it was a hard journey and I’ve met so many awful people along the way and so much stress that I counted the days to finish it and to leave my small dying town in the middle of nowhere and to find a job and my own place to plant my roots, I focused so much on leaving bad things behind that I didn’t realise until now that I’m also leaving good things behind, like my friends.
I’ve such a hard time meeting new people and forming bonds (healthy bonds, like I said, I’ve meet some scumbags along the way), I never dated, have a distant relationship with my parents and the only people that I can truly connect an count with are my 6 friends.
We meet at kindergarten, were inseparable through the entirety of school, and then we went to different colleges and universities and our meetings reduced a lot, we still talked online and went to watch some movies but with each passing year it became clear that everyone was/still is moving with their lives and simply growing up.
Funny how it seems that I always plan for the hardest part (moving out, finding a job and a home) and forgot the most basic of all things (people will follow their individual paths and our meetings will diminish with time), I couldn’t be happier for them, some are dating, some have finished college already, some are working already, but I think that’s selfish of me to want to keep them around, I don’t have other people and despite enjoying my own company and generally preferring to stay alone, when it hits that “I don’t have more people in my life” it scares me.
How does one learns to let go of the ones he loves the most ?

EDITED FOR UPDATE- I ended up texting her and here is our exchange… I feel like she really avoided getting into it with me, feels dismissive 🤷🏻‍♀️
*What I sent-
Good morning ****** ! I just wanted to let you know how excited we are to hear you have a new puppy! How lucky, and what a joy! ******* mentioned to me that you might be going through a hard spot right now? Of course we haven’t heard anything negative about you, But I understand how other peoples rants/misguided opinions would affect somebody. I just wanted to reassure you that we haven’t heard anything negative about you, or your boundaries
*What she texted back-
“Thanks for the reassurance! I actually feel better now that I’m starting to address it a bit… It was more pronounced last summer and fall. I just started saying some thing about it to folks and it’s been helping. We have a new pup that we have been fostering and have been considering adopting. She is a sweet girl, but we’re still for animals and part of the balance.”
So ya, I don’t know. It’s either deflecting or I’m tripping?
ORIGINAL POST- OK, we have a fairly new neighbor two houses down from us who is a single mom who works from home and has a middle school age son. We have a kindergartener and a first grader and we welcome them into the neighborhood and the kids have had a handful of play dates. We invited them to last year‘s Fourth of July celebration, and I got to know her a little bit better and had a handful of red flags pop up. We’ve remained pretty amiable, but haven’t gotten too close, pretty much have kept our hang outs to birthday parties and friendly hellos. She has called on us with neighborly issues, mostly asking if my husband can come over and give her a hand with some things around the house. I have no issue with this. So my husband told me about a funny exchange they had yesterday that kind of has me awkwardly laughing. My husband was in a rush to get out of the house, and was stopped by her new dog running over so of course they talked about the dog, as he was trying to leave the house. After he told her a couple of times that he really has to go, She got real serious with him and told him that she wanted to let him know that there were some rumors going around about her, so she wanted to get ahead of it. Apparently there have been a couple of guys that are supposedly spreading rumors about her that she has no boundaries, the funny thing about this is that we have no mutual friends, we don’t have the type of neighborhood where people hang out, or really know each other beyond a level of waving or nodding as leaving the neighborhood. In other words, there is no reason or foundation of why we would hear anything negatively about her. My husband got the awkward impression that she was trying to flirt with him, and she kept on reiterating that she has no boundaries. I can’t help but to laugh a little bit, and we both have the impression that she was trying to plant a seed or plant the idea of an offer to him. I’m just curious if other people might read this exchange as her making an awkward attempt to open something up with him, or if it was benign. Just curious what other peoples impressions are.

I (28f) and my best friend (28m) have been in each other’s lives for 26 years, we went to kindergarten, school, high school and everything together. To the point where we now live in the same building, each on our own apartments. Although I did live with him for a short period of 4 months after I broke up with my ex who I lived with, but when I moved into my own apartment I returned all keys of his, this is important for later. Before you think there’s anything else than friendship, I’d like to clarify that he is gay, I was literally the first person he ever told. We’ve always shared a love for fashion and clothes as we’re both in that field of work. So is not weird that we share clothes sometimes, however I think we both always keep tabs on what we had lent to each other. About a month ago I sent him a picture of my outfit to see what he thought. He immediately responded asking if the shorts I was wearing were his, to which I replied that someone else had lent them to me. I forgot about that as it didn’t seem important, but a week later he sent me a message asking again if I was sure those were not his shorts, cause he apparently couldn’t find his. I again told him those were not his, but that he could come up to my apartment and exchange the things that I did have. he said he was busy. I again didn’t think much of it as I thought surely he would find his shorts somewhere in his apartment, he has a massive amount of clothes, I’m talking he has 2 closets filled and an entire room full of boxes and racks. Time went on and about two weeks later he sent me an audio saying he was sure I had his shorts, that he had no Idea how I could have gotten them, that he was disappointed that I kept keys of his apartment and would go as far as robbing him when he would’ve just give them to me if I had asked. I simply told him I DID NOT do such thing, and that it was very hard to hear he thought that. I grabbed other things he had lent me, went down stairs to his apartment and returned what I had. We hadn’t spoken ever since, and of course I didn’t feel good about that, but I was hoping he’d find his shorts, realice he had been wrong and things would get fixed. But oh no. he texted me again today saying he was tired of being nice, and that he was sure I had them, and wanted them back. Mind you, he has stuff of mine he hasn’t returned for years. He even lived out of the country for a while and took my stuff without telling me, sometimes even lends my clothes to people who is definitely not my size, I really don’t even know what to respond anymore, and I’m worried he is going to tell mutual friends that I robbed him or anything like that. So, AITA if I just don’t try to fix this anymore? A friendship this long is something I wouldn’t like to miss because of something so trivial, but I’m deeply hurt by his words and what he’s thinking of me.
UPDATE:
He found the shorts, but still came at me in such a terrible manner. About 3 days after I made the post he sent me again a very long text.
Now, I haven’t been completely transparent, I had originally told him a friend who he knows had lent them to me. But the truth was that I hooked up with an ex who left the shorts at my place (he didn’t leave naked lol, he doesn’t live in my city but came for work for a few days and stayed with me) I didn’t want to admit this to my friend as it was a little embarrassing for me to have hooked up with this particular ex again. BUT STILL I didn’t think it made much of a difference lying about who had lend me the shorts as the outcome was the exact same: I DIDN’T HAVE my friends shorts, and I was sure this whole thing would end as soon as he found them in his apartment or remembered if he had lent them to someone else.
So he sends me a big paragraph, along with a screenshot of him directly asking our mutual friend if she had lend me those shorts. Of course she said no. This doesn’t bother me, cause Im not one to expect someone to lie for me, if anything I felt embarrassed to have dragged her into all of this. in his text to me, he literally said I looked like a fool for lying and robbing him, that he no longer would be amicable and nice to me , and that he demanded me to give him back his shorts.
I felt like not even responding anymore, but I felt like I at least had to own up and apologize for lying about who had lent me the shorts. And I admitted the hookup which was embarrassing, but it was the only way I could still defend myself. I got angry while responding so I also included a list of things he had that were mine. Like a coat he’s had hiding for years because he took it to another country without my permission, knowing damn well he planned on staying there at least 2 years which extended to 4. (He’s had that coat for 7 years now and won’t give it back) he also cut two of my jeans for a design project without asking first. So of course my response was shocking to him and in his words “uncalled for”.
About 2 days later he sends me another text: he found the shorts under a bed. I just knew he hadn’t clean his apartment thoroughly. But to my shock, this text wasn’t to apologize. Instead he made it seem as if he was sure I had planted the shorts there, as if I had crashed into his house and put the shorts there. He also implied that he found some socks that “weren’t there before” (?).
It has been days since he sent that text. I didn’t reply. I really don’t even want to fix things anymore, but I do want all of MY things back. so Reddit, how do I reply in a polite manner to ask for my stuff?

We are told, "I am on my father's business." We aren't told that for no reason, but as a blueprint to man's faith.
When was the last time I have realized, that my own FIRST PERSON PERCEPTIONS is god in action? That I either use rightly or misuse by how I choose to view the world, and most importantly, my own inner world in which I always view the physical world FROM.
It is always the conviction, the states in which we partake inwardly in the silence, not aware... That come out expressed as physical events and just reality which we either like or do not like. It is all within. Realizing it, I then realize that I AM my sole project in my entire experience in this dream world of mine, in which the sole purpose of man is to awaken to this truth.
We lose the focus on I AM, and begin to think in terms of third person, in all those terms that distance us from the sole reminder of this truth, I Am. Just I AM. Your I AMness, your consciousness imagination, is the sole being that you are, you create always by first person consciousness, even if you think you're not, you are always still observing with your spiritual eyes, and affirm with your spiritual consciousness of something, and as we know, being conscious of something is giving it life, because consciousness is the same imaginative power that fuels things into compulsion and appearance.
This world, this earth, is a collection of all states existent, in which WE the awakened man, the operant power now choose to tune to SPECIFIC STATES. We aren't here to witness all hell and heaven mixed up together in this salad bowl called earth, but we are here to realize the fundamental symbolism of this symbolic world called earth, that contains all states for man to either fall or enter wittingly into.
So we choose, we attune ourselves into a specific state, and by our love for it (because i wouldnt waste a moment of focus to something i wouldnt really love and love to have, right?) our love for it, puts our will of knowing, dedicated to it.
I know that I must become the state, in order to recieve it physically. So dedicated to my decision of love for the state I wish to express, I begin to enter the consciousness of being this state today, and living as the afterproduct man, in the whole set of perceptions, convictions and feelings, completely beyond the stage of understanding that i must be conscious in order to become, i have already become. by the use of imagination which is the stage of the truer life in which if we partake in wisely, intensely, and again in first person, and believe in the realities of the actions taken in this stage of imagination, we will bring it to pass so dang fast.
So the path was undertaken, and yet the sole work is mine, the work of consciousness, have I transformed into the man I would be, after this thing would become a natural everyday fact in my world? Or do I have ass it, and ''just imagine'' and let it be? yet I remain untransformed and think and feel from the same state of lack as before?
Man thinks that he can get something for nothing, but that's stealing, we're told in scripture. Imagining and change in consciousness is not nothing, it is the most genuine work that we were sent here to do, this is the PRICE that a state costs. Habitation, occupation of the state, becoming the state. This seals the state and unfolds the path, this is the occupying of the hotel room that remains vacant until one occupies it, and thus the MEANS AND PATH that is required for the state to unfold, begins to unfold. But do I dare to continue in this conviction daily, after I have partaken in my imaginal acts in my meditation as often as i can to familiarize myself with the reality of this state in my life? Do I dare to interact with my physical world with the conviction that this state already exists physically in my life, which i supplement with imaginal living to provide me the proof through senses that I have it?
It is all the same consciousness, same self tilt of perceptions, which man being god, the infinite actor that always wears roles and enacts them without requiring the factual physical proof, creates by that. But do I REALLY BELIEVE? Am I faithful? Faith we're told is the conviction of things unseen, as though they were. Faith is not HOPING it will happen, faith is the conviction that it is already so, thus i undertake a personal transformation into the man i would be, and view the world from that state, feel towards the world from that state, am convinced of a new reality from that state, new concepts, new thoughts, new moods, new different interaction with the world boldly from this new normal self, am I willing to become that?
I once had a vision of the night, a dream, of a woman that symbolized this dislike of change, the unwillingness to transform in order to receive a new life. We are told in scripture, that you must be willing to lose everything, to gain everything. This, is symbolic and important for the 2 coin sides of man, the physical that immediately trembles and says "lose everything? but i already have barely anything!" so he with his faithlessness, turns around and continues in his lack and sin in life, the struggle goes on. Yet the spiritual man that has taken the experience into thought, sees the truth, because he was bold enough to put into the furance all his former beliefs, and try it, simply put the consciousness and he got the physical expression, so he KNOWS, that to lose everything, means to lose evreything i was formerly that was not part of the new state I desired to express. So if I wish to become financially free, I ought to lose all my old perceptions of life that came from the state of lack, the feelings, the trembling, the insecurities, and wear the personality and being of this new normal me, that is financially free, and what a relief! This, people tremble to wear. They'd rather their former limitations than freedom. But did not the sons of israel want to return to egypt all the time? until they understood.
So the vision was like this, I was at a mall seeing grand new things all around, on the emphasis on new and better. And there was this woman that captured the attention of my scene in my mind's eye, so I was looking at her and she was furiously and frantically repeating these next lines. "I hate change, I hate new better things, I hate progress, I hate new improvesments, I hate new better changes, I hate new experiences, I hate new better things." This woman was the embodiment of the state of complacency, the firm confident belief and love of the old states that enslave us, because she knows not better and nor wants to know better. She kept frantically, and with such self confidence or as we say complacency, repeating the representation of her state that she was so bold and deep in, she hated changes, she hated new better things, she hated change.
So am I willing to change? Or do I take it half way, and hope that my ACTION of doing something, of imagining something is sufficient? Or do I realize that imagination is the living exercise of god, my consciousness, into becoming the state which I now have all the means to partake in, in first person, in the upmost realism, in my imagination? Imagination is the reality of man, which one day he discovers his physical world to be just as spiritual as his imagination, only a bit delayed. But it's the same imagination, same spirit, same consciousness. No difference, no duality. Only life and death, alive and what causes things to be, and dead, what is moved by compulsion into creation which we experience and call physical.
Now that I realize then, that it is truly all about me, I ought not to go out into the graveyard that is puppeteered by compulsion by my consciousness of where it dwells, and try to change everything there, but I must change my own perceptions towards life and REVISE everything that should not be there.
What is my concept of humanity? where did I get my concept of humanity being vile, being imperfect, being this that or the other? I can easily trace it to some piece of media or a person I got this concept from sometime in my life, doesn't matter where and when. Well, here it is then, why do I keep this poison in my consciousness once I found it, and not transform my perception of the world? To make it lovely and beneficial to me? To make it JUST AS I FELT WHEN I WAS IN KINDERGARTEN, and was convinced that the entire world was love and truly existed for me.
Well now we spiritually know, that the world being your own consciousness, thus the world solely exists to externalize and express YOUR, ONLY YOUR states of consciousness in YOUR PERSONAL LIFE, we realize then what we have done until this day. The world truly exists for the protagonist that dreams this dream, and in truth, it exists by love and by the pure benefit that only you can imagine, yet we have poisoned it when we did not know what we were doing, what we were imagining, but now we realized it.
And awareness of the invisible poisoning act we've been doing, is the first step to the cure of it. Once you realize you've eaten something rotten and you acknowledge it, you never repeat it. But these things go unnoticed for lifetimes even by us.
When I now realize the depths and impact of my own consciousness and the perceptions that I am conscious of in my world, and the familiarizations I have with specific states, thus giving them continious life rather than putting somethign good instead, and really making my world incredible and out of this world, I realize then that I am my sole project in this world, so what am I doing even wasting a moment on judging from the mirrors that is this physical world, which only reflects the states we've digested inwardly? What am I doing, not minding my own business, and spreading my consciousness and awareness like butter, over the everything of this physical world, rather than to be on my father's business, minding my own business, and living from the first person perspective focus, which sees the world ONLY FROM MYSELF out, and further progressing and purifying my own perceptions and consciousness? Which as psychological it may sound, there is no such thing as psychological. It is all spirit. Psychology in the modern term of science, is the logical ''acceptable'' behavior of a person in a modern society. But the original term of psychology is our perceptions towards life, that have no limit nor understanding by anyone, except me.
How do I view the world? Now that I mind my own business and see that it is only what I see and entertain, that is, I see what i've been doing.
So I take myself as my own permanent project, and see that by tending to myself, tending to the garden that we've been sent to tend to, which is our own consciousness imagination, I purify my world by PHYSICAL MEANS, which I only did imaginatively, spiritually, and spiritual means immersion, complete becoming mentally, something.
So it all being spirt, and I am the sole spirit that exists. I undertake this challenge of maintaining focus solely on self, from the first person perspective which is the only creative perspective, and I plant the ideal, I live as the ideal, I take myself as the sole being that I dress with ideal states and become them in order to make them in my world without physical touch, and doing it with complete faith, which is the conviction of things unseen as though they were, I walk boldly in my altered behavior, in my altered perspective over life as I have changed in consciousness, changed my state, and I do not go outside thinking "what will others think of my sudden radical change of behavior and attitude?" How can shadows THINK something, that YOU do not plant in them? So I leave that nonsense alone, I mind my own business and I am on my father's business, I want to be financially free? I want to be married? So I dare to walk in the conviction of this, and interacting with the world from the now's conviction that it is so, backed up by a rich and lavish imaginal participation PRIOR that happens in me as i meditate and imaginatively partake in scenes. Yet I boldly embody this state by being convinced of its reality now, I interact with those I am now married in consciousness with ,as though we already are my fiancee, as though it is an already old made fact, and I solely am focused on my own behavior and attitude from this conviction towards them, and then i effortlessly succeed by my faith and completeness of conviction that it is already so, which is apparent by my attitude and behavior towards life (notice, its all mental and behavior, all perceptions), and realize, that...
I am my sole project in this world, this dream which its purpose is to solely externalize my own self, my own states of consciousness, thus I am always focused on myself, what states am I viewing the world from right now in first person from my own self? I guide it, i am conscious only of the ideal that ought to be, by imaginal living and keep the word I AM, my true name, as a reminder as to what I ought to do at every moment of time.
I AM, the center of my being, my own self that views this world FROM my eyes and nowhere else, If I maintain my focus and attention solely on that, and guide it imaginatively to think, believe and live from my desired states, as though they were realities RIGHT NOW, I live good. There's no denying it by results. And that's how this world works. I always remember my own I AM, my own self that reads this right now, and know that this is my sole project. I guide it, I tend to it, and my physical world is purified, and never again do I go into the blindness of egypt believing things outside to be the causation or even realer than my imagination, or independent of me, ''alive on its own''.
Because I know that I AM, my own consciousness, my self, is the only life maker that I have patched up, it was all there, despite it seeming from without it was from within all along. Thus, I reinforce all my confidence, that requires no physical backup but pure faith, all into my own self and into every action I undertake, be it physically or spiritually by consciousness, and I cant miss, because I have taken myself into my own full confidence, as my own sole project.
Never ever misspending my imagination, my consciousness' attention, and minding my own business, my father's business. Imagining and living from my ideal states as the first person I AM, and decisively viewing the world only as it ought to be in my eyes, ideally. I have never forgot my own first person perspective imaginative self, which always views the world from specific states, these are the eyes that put us into specific realities, and I choose them wisely, Which was always animated by the only life that ever lived and experienced even this dream world, my I AM ness. My consciousness and perceptions of life, that are so easily alterable by my willingness to change self. I am not the mask that I wear, I am the infinite actor that partakes in roles, thinking it to be himself, but no longer I do, now as a professional God actor, I enter states wittingly and willingly, transforming self, and I am free.
Because I am my sole project in this world. On the emphasis on I AM.
That is your story.

Basic script info
Lenght: 2256 words
Monetization and editing: Free to monetize, post to whatever platform. Free to edit. Please include me in the credits if you use or edit this script - thanks.
Premise: After years and years of being in a relationship with a mentally unstable yandere, you've finally had enough and decide to flee. Maybe to Cuba? Maybe to Mexico? Wherever youre going, you've decided to leave a voicemail for your partner. Adios!
Check out my scriptbin for handy access to the scripts I wrote.
/Text in slashes/ - Example prompt from the listener, usually not read
(Text in brackets) - Either SFX and ambience suggestions or actor suggestions.
*Text in asterisks* - Actions that a character takes
*************************************************** (Voice mail beep)
(Anxious) Hey. It’s me.
I won’t be coming over for that movie night we planned…
Uhm, bye.
….
….
(Stressed) Actually, you know what?! Just before I hang up – fuck you.
…
(Stressed, picking up tone) Don’t bother calling me back. Don’t bother going to the apartments or looking for me either. By the time you hear this, I’ll be looong fucking gone. Oh and save your time trying to call me – I’m ditching this number.
(Condescending, angry) I bet you will freak out when you hear this, just like you usually do. You will try calling the police and report me as missing, or maybe phone my friends or my parents to check if they know where I went. Sadly I don’t have any person left that I regularly talk to – thanks to you of course. Just one of the many reasons why I am doing this.
.
Actually, since this is the last time that you will hear my voice, ever... I’ll say it. I’ll say all the fucking things I wanted to say for so long but never had the guts to.
First of, fuck you – bitch! (Replaceable with other curses)
(Pissed off, trying to sound calm) Second. I never, ever, want to see you, hear you or even think about you. What you did to me was fucking torturous. I don’t know how you can reason it over and over again and come to the conclusion that it has anything to do with ‘LOVE’, cause it sure as hell doesn’t!
You’re a fucking psychopath. You are mentally deranged and have the innate talent to destroy everything that you touch. You destroyed my friendships. The last handful of people whose company I enjoyed were driven off by your incessant gaslighting and overbearing manipulations.
(Incredulous) You did it – you fucking did it. You somehow managed to burn the bridges with people I knew since kindergarten. Good fucking work, you nutjob.
I shouldn’t be surprised either that I am not invited to any family meetups anymore. Ever since last Christmas where you pulled that stunt in front of my cousins… (Disbelieving) You’d be a real fucking treasure trove for a shrink. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone utterally fucked in the head like you. What kind of sane person would start a fight on Christmas Eve because someone made me the butt of a joke?? We had to call the police cause you were about to brawl! Or even worse, reach for the gun in our car!!
(Angry disbelief) And don’t even get me started on the things you told people, all the little rumors and lies you so carefully planted all around our social circle – well, my social circle, cause I’ve never seen you pleasantly interact with another human being who didn’t appear to be either drugged or in complete fear for their life.
.
(Genuinely not understanding, coping) Just... how? I am curious how could you do something so wicked. How you took my insecurities and magnified them, how you made me feel small, unwanted by the whole world and hammered in my anxieties until I shook and stuttered.
(Conclusive) You are evil. You must be genuinely evil. Presumably the only pleasure, the only goal in your life is to fuck me over. You want me on my knees, bloodied, bruised, afraid... Begging for mercy, begging you to save me from the hell that you created, only so you can skewer my heart with your claws and rip it out.
(Crack in voice, tears welling up but never flowing down) And I’m not having that anymore.
.
(Exhausted) I am tired. I am tired of your bullshit games, of our life together and of everything that has any semblance of you. For a short time I was angry, livid, even. I wanted to catch you by surprise in the kitchen one evening and (angry, loud, expressionate) bash your head against the stove top until your brains covered all of the wall and cupboards.
You probably don’t even remember this, hah (Insane giggle, unhinged)… the day I almost killed you, just to get an ounce of freedom before they put me in jail, hah!…
February, 13^th., I got home early and looked at the note you left for me. Lengthwise it was more like an excerpt from the Bible, with the same kind of batshit insane language and topics. But instead of god you were talking how much you miss me, even though we would see each other again when you got home from your therapist.
(Dissapointed) That fucking letter of yours made me snap. All the bullshit you say, the way you say it, trying to make it seem as it is... Destiny? Or karma? Or some other insane concept which justifies your abuse, it just made me want to kill you more. I couldn’t think straight, so I went and cleaned the kitchen until it was squeaky clean. All while fantasizing about finally ending this nightmare.
(Neutral) And when you finally came home and wrapped your arms around me, I was ready. I playfully hugged and carried you all the way to the kitchen, saying that I have a surprise for you, and when my back touched the stove... I felt that this would be your last moment on Earth.
(Disbelief, hmph) But alas, it was you who killed me. Like innumerable times before, you lowered my defences and crawled your way to my heart like some worm. You cried in my arms... Something your shrink said must’ve greatly upset you... Apology after apology, like a penitent sinner confessing. You unleashed a waterfall of tears. How bad you felt for the things you couldn’t control, how you wished that you could love me even more, how you wanted to be a better person – for me.
(Faster, exasperated) And like a fool I lapped it up. I embraced those lies with open arms and all the rage in me was gone. I genuinely thought, like a million times before, ‘this is it, this is the change that’s going to make everything good again’… But no. It was just a little act from you, like many others before. Just a little curve ball for your doggy to wag its tail and allow you to get closer, so that you may twist and turn my emotions against me.
For a couple of days… Might’ve been a week. It was peaceful. Maybe even tranquil… (Dissapointed, hurt) I would be lying if I said I was unhappy. And you knew that. So every now and then you put the abuse on standby and let me live in a temporary lie which was ephemeral like smoke – at the full mercy of your whim! One breath was all it took to plunge us back into turmoil.
.
(Holding in tears, pained) Heh. And when you desired something, you made sure to take it. I remember waking up in the middle of the night to merciless slaps… All the times you hit me… Your slaps, your punches, your kicks… Sometimes I wonder if I was nothing more than a sandbag to you. A convenient meat-doll, there to take out your frustrations on. All your fucked up outbursts when you’d take a knife from the counter and slash at me, all the times you tied me down and abused me until I was left a crying, bleeding, pulp…
(Shocked) And I stayed!…
I cannot believe that all of those things weren’t enough to open my eyes at how batshit crazy you really are. (Uncomfortable laugh, picking up tone) You could’ve killed me. You could have actually killed me in one of your fits, one wrong word would’ve made you stab that knife right through my chest…
(Confused, guilty) I guess some part of me must've enjoyed it… Not the pain, not the humiliation, but the overwhelming sense of redemption… When you finally snapped out of your manic episode and hugged and kissed and held me tight… After you made me cold, afraid, beaten, abused – when you reduced my body to the most miserable denominator, you were there to also provide the warmth to feel human again…
(Quiet) You brainwashed me… All that abuse followed by care, all that fear and anxiety when I was around you… Never knowing when you’d snap and kill me… I guess I must’ve developed Stockholm syndrome cause it took me years to finally have the courage to leave you…
…
(Trying to compose yourself, contemplative) The third thing I wanted to say is… Love… I don’t think what we had was ever love. (Breaking voice) I don’t think you are even capable of loving, no matter how much you might scream my name, etch it in your own skin with a knife or beat up people for looking at me.
No... That was an obsession. A primal need in your fucked up brain, conjured up god-knows-why, to give some sort of purpose to your miserable life.
(Winding up) And as you slowly took over my entire social circle and learned everything there is about me, I also learned a few things about you. While you were busy being a parasite and digging your head into what was mine, I saw your dirty tail wagging behind. No matter how much you tried to hide the skeletons in your closet, eventually they all came to light…
(Angry, taking pleasure) You have no friends. Nothing what a normal, sane, well-adjusted person would call friend anyways. The most you have are acquaintances, and even those are either psychologists who look at you as a case study, or equally deranged individuals who you conspire with.
You have no family, everybody is either dead or completely estranged. Honestly, I don’t blame them. You’ve told me a million times about all the abuse you suffered; the orphanage, the bullying, the failed adoptions… And I wonder… Were YOU maybe at fault? Could you have always been this sick, twisted, malicious person who drove away the people who tried to love you?
(Hurt, angry) It pains me to think this, but after everything we’ve been through together it seems like the most logical explanation…
You also have no purpose. You wander aimlessly through life, jumping from one debased goal to the next. A slave to your primal desires with no room for thought whether your actions are wrong or cause harm.
You have no goals in life. No career. No outstanding scholarly achievements. Just a very long list of delusions and lies that you use to fill out your fictional happiness.
(Pained) That is what your love is, a delusion.
I’m not special. I’m not smart, beautiful, charming or anything that makes me stand out. I was just someone who was... Convenient! Someone who wasn’t smart enough to notice your red flags, not wise enough to run when your true self started showing. (Mocking) Someone who could be the pincushion for your festering hate and imaginary concept of love.
.
(Broken, self-mockey, holding back tears) The saddest part… the saddest fucking thing about us, about you… Is that I genuinely loved you... By that I mean love, not as in your twisted, corrupted, strangling love. But love that is pure and happy to just be. I fell for you… I fell for those eyes which could set my soul on fire with one look. For your touch which could freeze my spine, the way you savoured every moment as if it was your last and your very essence.
(Inspired, nostalgic) I was enamored by you. How you did things, how you carried yourself through life even though you’ve been through the gutter. How nothing was out of reach, how you worked tirelessly and with an insane zeal for the things you desired… You were inspiring…
I hoped that just by being in your presence I would get a shred of your courage, a shred of your enthusiasm and passion… And I was honestly just happy being next to you. (Trying to explain) My love didn’t need pain, it didn’t need manical phone calls at two in the morning. It didn’t need complete isolation from the rest of the world and a paranoid fear whenever you interacted with others…
.
But that’s gone now… And it will never come back…
…
(Sigh, sad, out of energy) One last thing before I hang up the phone.
I know you talked so much about what you would do if I were to ever leave you, but I simply do not care anymore. I am tired… I am so tired that whatever you plan to do won’t be noticed. You have drained me of everything. I don’t think I am capable of feeling anything anymore and I am tired of that as well. By the time you hear this message I’m already two states away. Maybe even on a plane flying overseas…
(As a matter of fact, resigned, giving up) There is no point looking for me or going after me. Not because I plan to dissapear, but because I have nothing, genuinely nothing. All my memories, all my feelings – all the happiness, sadness, fear, anxiety, anger, love… You already have them. I am just a husk. Sleepwalking someplace else where I can maybe… hopefully… become someone else. Because you took everything I was…
…
Lastly I just wish that an atom, a truly minuscule amount of sense, is able to pierce your thick skull and convince you to change your life. But I didn’t have enough hope to stay so I doubt leaving will make any difference.
.
Goodbye. Forever.
…
***************************************************
I would greatly appreciate any feedback. Thank you for reading.

Basic script info
Lenght: 2256 words
Monetization and editing: Free to monetize, post to whatever platform. Free to edit. Please include me in the credits if you use or edit this script - thanks.
Premise: After years and years of being in a relationship with a mentally unstable yandere, you've finally had enough and decide to flee. Maybe to Cuba? Maybe to Mexico? Wherever youre going, you've decided to leave a voicemail for your partner. Adios!
Check out my scriptbin for handy access to the scripts I wrote.
/Text in slashes/ - Example prompt from the listener, usually not read
(Text in brackets) - Either SFX and ambience suggestions or actor suggestions.
*Text in asterisks* - Actions that a character takes
*************************************************** (Voice mail beep)
(Anxious) Hey. It’s me.
I won’t be coming over for that movie night we planned…
Uhm, bye.
….
….
(Stressed) Actually, you know what?! Just before I hang up – fuck you.
…
(Stressed, picking up tone) Don’t bother calling me back. Don’t bother going to the apartments or looking for me either. By the time you hear this, I’ll be looong fucking gone. Oh and save your time trying to call me – I’m ditching this number.
(Condescending, angry) I bet you will freak out when you hear this, just like you usually do. You will try calling the police and report me as missing, or maybe phone my friends or my parents to check if they know where I went. Sadly I don’t have any person left that I regularly talk to – thanks to you of course. Just one of the many reasons why I am doing this.
.
Actually, since this is the last time that you will hear my voice, ever... I’ll say it. I’ll say all the fucking things I wanted to say for so long but never had the guts to.
First of, fuck you – bitch! (Replaceable with other curses)
(Pissed off, trying to sound calm) Second. I never, ever, want to see you, hear you or even think about you. What you did to me was fucking torturous. I don’t know how you can reason it over and over again and come to the conclusion that it has anything to do with ‘LOVE’, cause it sure as hell doesn’t!
You’re a fucking psychopath. You are mentally deranged and have the innate talent to destroy everything that you touch. You destroyed my friendships. The last handful of people whose company I enjoyed were driven off by your incessant gaslighting and overbearing manipulations.
(Incredulous) You did it – you fucking did it. You somehow managed to burn the bridges with people I knew since kindergarten. Good fucking work, you nutjob.
I shouldn’t be surprised either that I am not invited to any family meetups anymore. Ever since last Christmas where you pulled that stunt in front of my cousins… (Disbelieving) You’d be a real fucking treasure trove for a shrink. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone utterally fucked in the head like you. What kind of sane person would start a fight on Christmas Eve because someone made me the butt of a joke?? We had to call the police cause you were about to brawl! Or even worse, reach for the gun in our car!!
(Angry disbelief) And don’t even get me started on the things you told people, all the little rumors and lies you so carefully planted all around our social circle – well, my social circle, cause I’ve never seen you pleasantly interact with another human being who didn’t appear to be either drugged or in complete fear for their life.
.
(Genuinely not understanding, coping) Just... how? I am curious how could you do something so wicked. How you took my insecurities and magnified them, how you made me feel small, unwanted by the whole world and hammered in my anxieties until I shook and stuttered.
(Conclusive) You are evil. You must be genuinely evil. Presumably the only pleasure, the only goal in your life is to fuck me over. You want me on my knees, bloodied, bruised, afraid... Begging for mercy, begging you to save me from the hell that you created, only so you can skewer my heart with your claws and rip it out.
(Crack in voice, tears welling up but never flowing down) And I’m not having that anymore.
.
(Exhausted) I am tired. I am tired of your bullshit games, of our life together and of everything that has any semblance of you. For a short time I was angry, livid, even. I wanted to catch you by surprise in the kitchen one evening and (angry, loud, expressionate) bash your head against the stove top until your brains covered all of the wall and cupboards.
You probably don’t even remember this, hah (Insane giggle, unhinged)… the day I almost killed you, just to get an ounce of freedom before they put me in jail, hah!…
February, 13^th., I got home early and looked at the note you left for me. Lengthwise it was more like an excerpt from the Bible, with the same kind of batshit insane language and topics. But instead of god you were talking how much you miss me, even though we would see each other again when you got home from your therapist.
(Dissapointed) That fucking letter of yours made me snap. All the bullshit you say, the way you say it, trying to make it seem as it is... Destiny? Or karma? Or some other insane concept which justifies your abuse, it just made me want to kill you more. I couldn’t think straight, so I went and cleaned the kitchen until it was squeaky clean. All while fantasizing about finally ending this nightmare.
(Neutral) And when you finally came home and wrapped your arms around me, I was ready. I playfully hugged and carried you all the way to the kitchen, saying that I have a surprise for you, and when my back touched the stove... I felt that this would be your last moment on Earth.
(Disbelief, hmph) But alas, it was you who killed me. Like innumerable times before, you lowered my defences and crawled your way to my heart like some worm. You cried in my arms... Something your shrink said must’ve greatly upset you... Apology after apology, like a penitent sinner confessing. You unleashed a waterfall of tears. How bad you felt for the things you couldn’t control, how you wished that you could love me even more, how you wanted to be a better person – for me.
(Faster, exasperated) And like a fool I lapped it up. I embraced those lies with open arms and all the rage in me was gone. I genuinely thought, like a million times before, ‘this is it, this is the change that’s going to make everything good again’… But no. It was just a little act from you, like many others before. Just a little curve ball for your doggy to wag its tail and allow you to get closer, so that you may twist and turn my emotions against me.
For a couple of days… Might’ve been a week. It was peaceful. Maybe even tranquil… (Dissapointed, hurt) I would be lying if I said I was unhappy. And you knew that. So every now and then you put the abuse on standby and let me live in a temporary lie which was ephemeral like smoke – at the full mercy of your whim! One breath was all it took to plunge us back into turmoil.
.
(Holding in tears, pained) Heh. And when you desired something, you made sure to take it. I remember waking up in the middle of the night to merciless slaps… All the times you hit me… Your slaps, your punches, your kicks… Sometimes I wonder if I was nothing more than a sandbag to you. A convenient meat-doll, there to take out your frustrations on. All your fucked up outbursts when you’d take a knife from the counter and slash at me, all the times you tied me down and abused me until I was left a crying, bleeding, pulp…
(Shocked) And I stayed!…
I cannot believe that all of those things weren’t enough to open my eyes at how batshit crazy you really are. (Uncomfortable laugh, picking up tone) You could’ve killed me. You could have actually killed me in one of your fits, one wrong word would’ve made you stab that knife right through my chest…
(Confused, guilty) I guess some part of me must've enjoyed it… Not the pain, not the humiliation, but the overwhelming sense of redemption… When you finally snapped out of your manic episode and hugged and kissed and held me tight… After you made me cold, afraid, beaten, abused – when you reduced my body to the most miserable denominator, you were there to also provide the warmth to feel human again…
(Quiet) You brainwashed me… All that abuse followed by care, all that fear and anxiety when I was around you… Never knowing when you’d snap and kill me… I guess I must’ve developed Stockholm syndrome cause it took me years to finally have the courage to leave you…
…
(Trying to compose yourself, contemplative) The third thing I wanted to say is… Love… I don’t think what we had was ever love. (Breaking voice) I don’t think you are even capable of loving, no matter how much you might scream my name, etch it in your own skin with a knife or beat up people for looking at me.
No... That was an obsession. A primal need in your fucked up brain, conjured up god-knows-why, to give some sort of purpose to your miserable life.
(Winding up) And as you slowly took over my entire social circle and learned everything there is about me, I also learned a few things about you. While you were busy being a parasite and digging your head into what was mine, I saw your dirty tail wagging behind. No matter how much you tried to hide the skeletons in your closet, eventually they all came to light…
(Angry, taking pleasure) You have no friends. Nothing what a normal, sane, well-adjusted person would call friend anyways. The most you have are acquaintances, and even those are either psychologists who look at you as a case study, or equally deranged individuals who you conspire with.
You have no family, everybody is either dead or completely estranged. Honestly, I don’t blame them. You’ve told me a million times about all the abuse you suffered; the orphanage, the bullying, the failed adoptions… And I wonder… Were YOU maybe at fault? Could you have always been this sick, twisted, malicious person who drove away the people who tried to love you?
(Hurt, angry) It pains me to think this, but after everything we’ve been through together it seems like the most logical explanation…
You also have no purpose. You wander aimlessly through life, jumping from one debased goal to the next. A slave to your primal desires with no room for thought whether your actions are wrong or cause harm.
You have no goals in life. No career. No outstanding scholarly achievements. Just a very long list of delusions and lies that you use to fill out your fictional happiness.
(Pained) That is what your love is, a delusion.
I’m not special. I’m not smart, beautiful, charming or anything that makes me stand out. I was just someone who was... Convenient! Someone who wasn’t smart enough to notice your red flags, not wise enough to run when your true self started showing. (Mocking) Someone who could be the pincushion for your festering hate and imaginary concept of love.
.
(Broken, self-mockey, holding back tears) The saddest part… the saddest fucking thing about us, about you… Is that I genuinely loved you... By that I mean love, not as in your twisted, corrupted, strangling love. But love that is pure and happy to just be. I fell for you… I fell for those eyes which could set my soul on fire with one look. For your touch which could freeze my spine, the way you savoured every moment as if it was your last and your very essence.
(Inspired, nostalgic) I was enamored by you. How you did things, how you carried yourself through life even though you’ve been through the gutter. How nothing was out of reach, how you worked tirelessly and with an insane zeal for the things you desired… You were inspiring…
I hoped that just by being in your presence I would get a shred of your courage, a shred of your enthusiasm and passion… And I was honestly just happy being next to you. (Trying to explain) My love didn’t need pain, it didn’t need manical phone calls at two in the morning. It didn’t need complete isolation from the rest of the world and a paranoid fear whenever you interacted with others…
.
But that’s gone now… And it will never come back…
…
(Sigh, sad, out of energy) One last thing before I hang up the phone.
I know you talked so much about what you would do if I were to ever leave you, but I simply do not care anymore. I am tired… I am so tired that whatever you plan to do won’t be noticed. You have drained me of everything. I don’t think I am capable of feeling anything anymore and I am tired of that as well. By the time you hear this message I’m already two states away. Maybe even on a plane flying overseas…
(As a matter of fact, resigned, giving up) There is no point looking for me or going after me. Not because I plan to dissapear, but because I have nothing, genuinely nothing. All my memories, all my feelings – all the happiness, sadness, fear, anxiety, anger, love… You already have them. I am just a husk. Sleepwalking someplace else where I can maybe… hopefully… become someone else. Because you took everything I was…
…
Lastly I just wish that an atom, a truly minuscule amount of sense, is able to pierce your thick skull and convince you to change your life. But I didn’t have enough hope to stay so I doubt leaving will make any difference.
.
Goodbye. Forever.
…
***************************************************
I would greatly appreciate any feedback. Thank you for reading.

My MIL is a very negative person and has a tendency to take a situation and twist it so that it’s much worse in her mind than reality. She does this with regular every day things like the weather, local news, etc, but she especially does it with my kids.
This has come to a boiling point for me because she made a comment about my daughter yesterday that I’m having a hard time letting go. She does school pick up 1 or 2x a week, depending on the week (my daughter is in kindergarten). Out of the blue yesterday, she told me she thinks my daughter is “struggling”. I asked her for examples. She just said it’s a “feeling she has” because sometimes daughter looks sad or grumpy after school. She wouldn’t give me any other reason. I tell her that I don’t agree, daughter always talks happily about school and classmates, and teacher has nothing but good things to say. But nope! MIL still feels the need to maintain her belief on the subject and push her “feeling” on me even without any concrete evidence.
Unfortunately her negative attitude brings me down, and she’s now planted a seed in my mind that my daughter might be secretly unhappy and not telling me, even though my rational brain knows that’s not true.
How do I stop letting her irrational opinions affect me? I also feel like if she’s reading that much into a 5 year old girl’s moods, how bad will it be in 5-10 years?

My MIL is a very negative person and has a tendency to take a situation and twist it so that it’s much worse in her mind than reality. She does this with regular every day things like the weather, local news, etc, but she especially does it with my kids.
This has come to a boiling point for me because she made a comment about my daughter yesterday that I’m having a hard time letting go. She does school pick up 1 or 2x a week, depending on the week (my daughter is in kindergarten). Out of the blue yesterday, she told me she thinks my daughter is “struggling”. I asked her for examples. She just said it’s a “feeling she has” because sometimes daughter looks sad or grumpy after school. She wouldn’t give me any other reason. I tell her that I don’t agree, daughter always talks happily about school and classmates, and teacher has nothing but good things to say. But nope! MIL still feels the need to maintain her belief on the subject and push her “feeling” on me even without any concrete evidence.
Unfortunately her negative attitude brings me down, and she’s now planted a seed in my mind that my daughter might be secretly unhappy and not telling me, even though my rational brain knows that’s not true.
How do I stop letting her irrational opinions affect me? I also feel like if she’s reading that much into a 5 year old girl’s moods, how bad will it be in 5-10 years?

Hello, my daughter is in kindergarten and her teachers, OT and speech pathologists have suggested to me that she may be autistic. The speech pathologist said she is on the level of a 3 year old in speech and has a severe language disorder. I took her to a pediatrician who said there were some red flags, but she is very social. When I went to the parent teacher conference, they were all acting as though they already knew she had autism. Forgive me if this sounds insensitive, but I found it jarring and kind of didn't appreciate it. I reminded them that we didn't know yet. Well, the principal at the school is working to have this expedited because the pediatrician told me it could take 2 years to have her assessed. The kindergarten teacher told me that she needs constant support and this needs to be made available for her to succeed. The thing is, my daughter is extremely social and loves interacting with others. But I know she is different, and other people including her peers notice it immediately. She does abnormal hand movements, makes abnormal eye contact/constantly rocking back and forth. She repeats questions and asks if people are a boy or girl multiple times. She says something, and then before you can answer her she whispers what she just said. So, she will say "The plants have to be watered otherwise they won't grow? (the plants have to be watered...)" If you ask her a question it's hard to get her to answer. Like,
"Did you enjoy swimming today? What was your favourite thing to do?"
"We went swimming at the school. But not tomorrow, tomorrow is not a swimming day. (tomorrow is not...)"
So you see, this is as clearly as I can illustrate some of her speech differences. Her speech differences and communication differences are constant and there's no question something is up. But she is very social, not shy at all. But her emotions do seem immature for her age. She has no attitude. I've noticed other girls her age already have "attitude" and "sass". But she seems almost incapable of it. Also she doesn't express subtle emotions. When her father and I suddenly split, she seemed unbothered by it. She seemed like she did not miss him at all, if I'm being completely honest. She never asked why. She literally just continued on as if nothing happened. I tried to bring it up with her, and she just says "ok". Her reaction to our split was nonexistent. Not once has she ever cried that she missed him. I understand she is young, but it was shocking to me. She doesn't seem what I think of as autistic. She is sing-songy, the cadence of her speech is not usual. She can't express subtle emotion in her speech at all. You couldn't tell how she was feeling unless she had a meltdown or shuts down/stops talking. I guess those are symptoms of autism, but it just isn't usual. When I imagine someone with autism, I imagine their voice being very monotone and them being very asocial. But she is the extreme opposite of those two things. Her voice is singsongy and she talks to everyone and asks questions, sometimes too much. She does get obsessed with things. She will sometimes spend an entire day talking about one thing that happened. Her teacher says that she seems to get stuck in loops, which is true.
The TA said she is constantly at her side and that they have to show her images of what she is supposed to do next. They started giving her headphones to wear because she wouldn't use the bathroom without them. They suggested that I do the same at home (despite being 6, she is very difficult to get her to use the toilet properly). They gave me the report that the OT made as well, and there were a lot of sensory differences with her. They suggested she should have access to fidget toys etc. Also, she wanders off during recess and doesn't come inside even after the other kids have. They said it's a safety concern.
the thing that bothered me was just the TA acting as though she had autism and that we already knew. It could be learning disabilities or trauma, since she has had some trauma in her life with her father and I splitting. I notice the teachers talk to her differently and treat her differently than the other kids. I don't want her to be treated differently also, even if she did have autism. Unless it was to help her, like the headphones and the images etc. but even if she does have autism or a learning disability, it isn't a reason to treat her differently.
These are just my opinions. I guess what I want to know is, if they are not able to expedite her diagnosis, is it more helpful to sort of "act" as though she is autistic like her teachers seem to do? To put it bluntly, should I be treating her differently? Because I just treat her like any other kid and things seem fine for us at home. We don't really struggle too much. But maybe that's because I've made us too isolated. We live a very isolated life, not very stimulating and maybe that's why she appears to have autism. I wonder how much of this could have been caused by me, because I'm not really that great at parenting to be honest. I still push her in a stroller because she won't walk, it causes a meltdown. She has a meltdown at every day things, like brushing her teeth. The thing is, I think I wouldn't be considered as a "neurotypical" even though I'm not autistic. I spent a lot of months in the hospital and psych wards. I have ADHD and have been dx schizo-affective and psychosis, as well as dissociative identity disorder. I am on disability even now for my mental health issues and chronic pain. So, as you can imagine our lifestyle is probably different than other people. I'm just worried that they will diagnose her and treat her differently. I don't want her to be swept away to psych wards and medicated like I was since I was a child. Especially since her behaviours could be my fault, and not because she is autistic. I'm not looking for medical advice or for someone to dx her here, but I am just wondering if any parents have experienced this. Have you ever worried that your mental health issues sort of "rubbed off" on your child? What if they dx her with autism but she doesn't have it and her abnormalities come from the way I raised her? What if they attempt to over-medicalize or pathologize her behaviours? Another thing. My counsellor told me that she thinks she definitely doesn't have autism. That bothered me too, because I feel like she would have no way of knowing either way! Is it normal to be this irritated by people who say she has autism, but then equally by those who dismiss it altogether? Thanks for reading.

Liebes finanzen, ich wünsche mir einen Ratschlag, wie ich mit meinem Eigenheim umgehen soll. Ich bin derzeit ratlos und weiß einfach nicht, wo ich anfangen soll. Komplettsanierung unter Aufnahme neuer Kredite? Vermieten as-is/minimalsaniert? Doch mit Gewinn verkaufen? Ich bin wie paralysiert.
Zwei Dinge vorweg:

• Mir ist bewusst, dass ich ein Luxusproblem habe. Viele Familien können sich kein Eigenheim leisten, während ich als Single ein Haus in toller Lage besitze.
• Ich werde die Situation stichpunktartig umreißen und liefere gerne bei Nachfrage weitere Informationen.

Kontext:

• Ich habe meinem Vater das Haus meiner verstorbenen Großeltern abgekauft. (Schenkung war nicht drin, er brauchte Kohle.)
• Faktoren der Kaufentscheidung:
  • Zeitdruck. Mein Vater hat mir das Haus zuerst angeboten, aber ich hatte nur zwei Monate, um die Entscheidung zu fällen.
  • Emotionale Bindung. Ich habe einen Großteil meiner Kindheit auf diesem Grundstück verbacht und wollte, dass es in der Familie bleibt.
  • Ich plante, dort mit meiner damaligen Partnerin zu wohnen. Vom doppelten Gehalt hätten wir locker alles schön sanieren können. Die Beziehung ist aber kurz nach dem Kauf in die Brüche gegangen. Alleine dort wohnen möchte ich derzeit nicht. Es wäre aber ein toller Ort, um eine Familie zu gründen, falls sich das für mich ergibt. (Ich bin alleiniger Eigentümer, meine Ex hat die Finger nicht im Spiel.)
  • Es kam mir wie ein Deal vor, bei dem ich nicht verlieren kann. Durch Verkauf innerhalb der Familie fiel die Grunderwerbssteuer weg. Außerdem hat mir mein Vater das Haus günstiger überlassen, als man zum Kaufzeitpunkt auf dem freien Markt hätte bekommen können (es gab viel Interesse an dem Grundstück, Angebote im Briefkasten, etc.)

Zum Haus:

• Baujahr 1961
• 103 qm Wohnfläche, voll unterkellert, Stellplatz, unausgebauter Dachboden, großer Garten (Grundstück 700 qm)
• Gute Lage im Speckgürtel von Hannover. Direkt am Wald und Mittellandkanal in einer ruhigen Straße in der Lehrer, Ärzte, Anwälte und Ingenieure wohnen. Schule, Kindergarten, Straßenbahn und Supermarkt in 5 Minuten zu Fuß erreichbar. Etwa 20 Minuten mit dem Auto zur Stadtmitte Hannovers.
• Keine Renovierung/Sanierung außer Tausch der Heizung auf Gas im Jahr 2002. Das bedeutet:
  • keine Dämmung irgendwo
  • einfachverglaste, undichte Fenster (13 Stück)
  • Elektrik Asbach (nichtmal im Bad FI-Schalter)
  • winzige Badezimmer und kleine Küche, imho sollte man im Rahmen einer Modernisierung das Badezimmer im Erdgeschoss vergrößern und Küche und Wohnzimmer vereinen.
  • Tapeten/Böden Asbach
• Salopp gesagt müsste man innen also "alles neu machen". Es ist im Moment nicht wohnlich und insbesondere im Winter wären die Nebenkosten horrend.
• Davon abgesehen hat das Haus aber keinerlei Mängel wie Baufälligkeiten, Schäden, Feuchtigkeit, oder Schimmel.

Kauf/Kredit:

• Kaufpreis Haus 360k (2022)
• 381k Kredit
• Zinssatz 1.15 %
• Zinsbindung 10 Jahre
• Kreditbelastung ca. 1.3k/Monat

Meine (finanzielle) Situation:

• 37 Jahre, ganz frisch neue Freundin (d.h. es wird noch nicht über Zusammenziehen gesprochen), keine Kinder
• 3.8k netto bei Vollzeit
• IT-ler ohne nennenswerte handwerkliche Kenntnisse oder Handwerker im Freundeskreis
• 40k auf dem Konto
• Besitze 1.1 Bitcoin (2019 erworben), die ich höchst ungern anfassen würde
• Keine Aktien oder Ähnliches
• Keine weiteren Kredite oder Verpflichtungen
• Das Haus steht jetzt seit 2 Jahren leer. Ich kann bis es bewohnbar ist (oder ich es vermiete) zum Preis der Nebenkosten bei meinem alleinstehenden Vater wohnen.
• Das hat aber auch dazu geführt dass ich es mir hier ein wenig zu gemütlich gemacht und die Haussituation schon viel zu lange aufgeschoben habe.
• Ich mache mir jeden Tag Stress, dass endlich etwas passieren muss. Das einzige was derzeit aber passiert, ist, dass der Garten verwildert, weil ich nicht oft genug schaffe hinzufahren (ca 1h entfernt). Ich weiß auch einfach nicht, wo ich anfangen soll.
• Ich habe vor kurzem einige Angebote für die Sanierung der Elektrik (ca 20k) und der Fenster (ca 15k) eingeholt. Vor der Sanierung der Fenster müsste man laut Energieberater aber "eigentlich" erstmal außen dämmen. Uff.

Ich wünsche mir einen Ratschlag, wie es weitergehen kann. Am liebsten würde ich das Haus in einen vermietbaren Zustand bringen und mir dann eine kleine, stressfreie Wohnung nehmen, während das Grundstück in der Familie bleibt und Falle von Eigenbedarf zur Verfügung steht. Ich weiß aber nicht wie viel Geld ich in die Hand nehmen sollte, ob es sich lohnt dafür neue Kredite aufzunehmen, und in welcher Reihenfolge man sanieren müsste. Könnte natürlich auch sein dass ich mich total überfordert habe, und alles mit Gewinn verkaufen der beste Schachzug wäre. (Auch wenn mein Herz beim Gedanken blutet, "Omas Häuslein" wegzugeben. Ich würde es schon gerne behalten.)
Vorab schonmal herzlichen Dank für eure Kommentare!

I'm back! We're finally wrapping up the Suborbital Space Costco run today. Sorry for the wait. Dunno if I've mentioned this before, but I do freelance web development as the more money-generating of my two "typing on the internet" hobbies, and one of my clients went from zero to a hundred during the past couple weeks. Really cuts into my writing time, having to do something else for money.
In any event, quick replug of the one-shot side-story I wrote for the first day of the month, "Chiri's Bizarre Alternative". It was also the one year anniversary of New York Carnival this past week! Leave lore questions and/or entire cakes in the comments.
Already started on the next chapter, which is, well... you know when you've got The Big Plot Thing in mind, but you gotta write a bunch of a boring shit first before the story actually gets to it? The next one's The Big Plot Thing.
As one last thing to meditate on: there's this very particular moment in a small child's life, vicinity of toddler to kindergartener, such that somewhere over the course of trying different foods and being taught different animal noises, the kid finally makes the connection that chicken is made from chicken. Before that, the creature and the food are two unrelated concepts with similar names. Why wouldn't they be? They look nothing alike.
[First] - [Prev] - [Next]
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Memory Transcription Subject: Chiri, Gojid Refugee
Date [standardized human time]: November 1, 2136
I still felt the incoming dread that a wizened old Gojid preacher was about to snatch the little package away from me like I was a child with an age-inappropriate book, but I eventually put the plant-based meat brick down into the shopping cart.
“Let’s get a few other types for you to try while we’re here,” said David.
I squinted at him uncomprehendingly for a moment, before it clicked into place for me. “Meat has types,” I said, not really a question. “Right. Of course. Different… creatures probably don’t taste the same.” If I kept using the word creature, it wouldn’t get weird. Creatures weren’t people.
“Different pieces of the same creature don’t taste the same,” David said. He gestured at various parts of his own anatomy as he spoke, which was only made even more unsettling by his calmingly casual tone. “Shoulder is probably the best cut for soups and stews, and any other dish where you cook the meat slowly until it softens. Similarly, leg cuts tend to be tough, but flavorful. Backstrap is tender, but lacking in fat, so a gentle sear in butter isn’t uncommon. Rib and belly are the best of both worlds, at least to the human palate, but even going front to back, you can stumble into cuts that are too tough for a straight sear.”
The critical voice had an objection. “Front to back?” I asked, repeating those words. He’d been gesturing top to bottom as he’d said it.
David shrugged. “Cloned meat is still based on cell lines from our old domesticated animals. There are extremely few featherless bipeds on Earth. I think there was some discussion of trying to farm kangaroos for a bit?” I opened my mouth to ask the obvious question, so David answered it preemptively. “Imagine a giant, territorial Yotul that likes to punch things.”
“Gods, your wildlife is ridiculous,” I said, chuckling nervously. Why did so many Earth creatures have to look so much like Federation people? “Don’t tell the customers about that.”
David shrugged again. “I get where you’re coming from, but honesty has worked out well for me so far. I doubt it’s gonna come up. Nevertheless, yes, different meats, and the facsimiles thereof, tend to have different flavors. You grabbed a package of imitation ground beef, so I’ll probably make you a nice cheeseburger for dinner tonight. Still, let’s hook you up with some other options. Despite what I said about the texture and flavor, the best plant-based substitutes for meat are the options that mimic prepared foods. Sausages and batter-fried cutlets. A couple types of mock seafood hold up well, too.” He shook his head. “I wouldn’t recommend a plant-based steak or pulled pork, though.”
I wasn’t sure what those were, but I declined to ask follow-up questions. The ocean was vast and chilling, and I needed to slowly ease myself into this. Excitement and fear were two sides of the same coin, and my heart was racing all the same.
Still, I didn’t want to miss out… “Is there any chance we can come back some other time to look at the meat?” I asked bleakly, as David rummaged through the freezers for fakes I might like to try.
David’s head whipped around, fast enough to make me flinch, but his eyes just narrowed in concern. “Sure, anything you like. I’ve got plenty of meat back home, even if you change your mind later tonight. Are you alright? I was trying to keep your pace, but if it’s too much…”
He has a stockpile? the odd voice wondered. Of course! Owning vast reserves of meat is probably a desirable trait among predators. It suggests that he’s a skilled hunter, and a higher-quality potential mate.
No, it mostly suggests that he owns a restaurant, the critical voice said, incredulously.
I shook my head. “I think it was the pointing at yourself while talking about cuts of meat that did it,” I said glumly. “Too close to home.”
Too close to how the Arxur see us, said a voice, and I couldn’t quite tell which.
David nodded. “Won’t do that again, then. Sorry. I’ve been gushing so much about my own culture that I was being insensitive of yours. Thoughtless of me.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” I said, but I couldn’t make my voice sound like I meant it.
David shook his head. “No, that’s on me. I should have known better. You have to tread lightly on certain topics around people and cultures who’ve suffered the worst of them. You don’t joke about the Buryatian counter-pogroms around Siberian Russians, you don’t joke about slavery around African-Americans.”
I didn’t want to know right now. My quills had already started perking up from the stress, which felt extra-uncomfortable with the borrowed coat pinning them in place. “Gojids are actually considered a slave race by the Arxur,” I said, miserably.
David’s eyes went wide, and for the first time since I’d met him, he stopped talking entirely.
“Can we talk about something else?” I asked. “Maybe a distraction in a different direction?”
David nodded slowly. “You’re still naked aside from a jacket. Wanna see if any cute outfits fit you?”
“Sure!” I said, eager to change the subject. “The jacket’s too warm anyway. Let’s see if they have something thinner.”
David shrugged. “It’s still November, but we can hope.”
We pushed our cart of food over towards the section of the store dedicated to all the colorful artificial pelts the humans wore. The Nevoks, on their wintery homeworld, were one of the few Federation species that indulged in clothing, and even then, it was primarily for warmth, and secondarily as a show of wealth and status. We Gojids had--used to have--a more temperate homeworld, so the closest thing I had as a frame of reference for a display of textiles for sale was a home goods store. Racks upon racks of “towels” and “bedsheets” stood at the ready for me to choose one to wrap around myself, as was the local custom.
Well, aside from the jackets, there was one article of clothing I recognized. I liked the brighter colors, personally, but I’d noticed that most of the humans, David included, wore darker, more austere colors. What went the most nicely with brown, though? I picked up one in lavender, like a fruit tree blooming.
“How do I look?” I asked, showing my outfit off to David.
“Chiri, that is an apron.”
I smiled. “Yup! We have these on the Cradle, so I’ve worn one before.” I twirled in place so he could double-check my size choice. It’s not like I could read the labels. “See? Definitely fits!”
David rubbed his eyes. “Turn around again?”
I obliged. “Something wrong with the tie?” I asked quizzically. “There’s hardly anything else back there.”
“That is precisely my concern,” said David. He sighed. “I guess your quills would probably shred anything that covered your back properly.”
Ah, still the human modesty thing, then. He wasn’t wrong about the quills, though. How could I explain the issue to someone who lacked them entirely? “Damage aside, even the jacket you loaned me is a little uncomfortable. Anything that presses down on my quills feels like it’s perpetually tugging my skin along with it.” I pivoted around so I could see my own back in a nearby mirror and grimaced. “Anything I wear regularly is going to need to be backless, or at least very loose.”
David held his hand by his chin, thinking, and his gaze scanned around the clothing section for a specific target. “I think we can do loose.” He dashed off towards a clothing rack, and came back with a pale blue bit of cloth. “Here, see how this one feels.”
I vaguely identified it as a “shirt” as I shimmied into it, though David needed to help. The thin, baggy cloth settled gently on top of my quills. I posed in front of a nearby mirror. I didn’t hate the look! The shirt draped in a lopsided and casual manner, partly exposing a shoulder through the neck hole. It felt comfortable and laid-back.
“I think it works,” said David. “It’s got a real ‘cool older girl from down the block’ kind of vibe.”
I snorted. “I’m still six years younger than you, doofus.”
“Eh, everything after your mid-twenties is vibes-based,” David said, smiling. “Act as old or as young as you like. But maybe with some pants on, first.”
Pants were a no-go, sadly. I couldn’t even begin to puzzle out how to get those on without spiking clean through the cloth. Fortunately, we picked out some nice skirts that draped better over my shape. The only trouble remaining was the difficulty of getting the shirt back off, a process that once again required two people working in unison to gently pull it off. It still caught on my quills more than once, and nearly tore each time.
“Let’s just see about getting you a holopad, and then we can probably head out,” said David, idly grabbing an extra bottle or two of fur shampoo. I was considerably larger than David’s squat little dog was, so if I was sticking around, then it stood to reason that the household would be going through a lot more of it than usual.
The consumer electronics section was a bit brighter than I was used to--human advertising could get aggressive--but it was still a mostly familiar experience to any spacefaring species. The holopads were all slightly thinner and larger-screened than I was used to, to better fit the long and spindly hands of humans, but a couple smaller ones looked like it wouldn’t hurt to hold them. The hololenses sounded like they’d be the most convenient option if I was going to be working with my hands, but none of them came remotely close to fitting my head shape. I could precariously balance a pair on my snout, but the lenses sat squarely between my eyes, uselessly. It probably looked hilarious, though.
I tried to get David’s attention to show him, but he was scowling at his holopad, confused and worried.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
I was mostly worried that my escapades had already started a problem on social media, but David held up a hand for silence as he made a call. “Hi, can you direct me to whichever police station is still active in Coney Island? I think there’s been a break-in.”