Total eclipse assure detox how long

Why do guys have to find someone new when they have someone that loves them COMPLETELY as they are?
I will never understand.
A month long vacation together (long distance- seeing one another for about 2 months total this year) was supposed to be magical and adventurous. Everything crammed in to make sweet memories to make up for time spent apart and time about to be apart.
Well, while he was on his side of the distance he chose to defile the trust I had for a man. And was too coward to tell me.
I will be strong and get over this. But I was also supposed to be with this guy for the second leg of this adventure where we go to Europe (hes European, I’m American).
I feel lost. I unfortunately made him my everything. I stayed loyal and true.
My heart is shattered. There were no signs of this coming to happen EVER. I never suspected anything like this could come from him. Sweet and caring and compassionate and endearing.
When we saw each other this time this trip- he wouldn’t touch me. So I suspected something was up. I confronted him and asked point blank if he was cheating or if there was anyone else and he looked in my eyes and told me NO.
She called his phone when I was sat beside him. His face turned white. He was never going to tell me he said.
The man I loved is a coward. And now instead of spending the rest of the month on a romantic trip with the one person ive ever loved the most- I’m stuck couch hopping to get my mind away from the fact I want to not be on earth anymore.
How can I trust someone again.

My boyfriend (25M) and I (19F) have been together romantically for about six months and have been good friends for about a year. We met through the Air Force and lived at the same base for about seven months; now, we're in a long-distance relationship.
There was an immediate connection between us, but we didn’t explore it right away because we had both just gotten out of relationships (his lasted four years and mine two years). This is where some of my issues begin. Because we were initially just close friends and confided in each other a lot, I know intimate details about his relationships with his exes (sex life, past arguments, the good, the bad, and the ugly). Granted, he couldn’t have known how our relationship would progress, it’s hard not to compare my relationship with him to theirs sometimes.
I’ll be completely honest—I’ve done my fair share of stalking and found all three of his exes' social media accounts. The most recent one is quite active and has posted a lot about how toxic her relationship with him was. He has already told me about most of what she’s posted, so I’m not exactly surprised, but it’s still been extremely hard to accept. He has a bit of a drinking problem that we are both very aware of and open about. She describes him as an abusive alcoholic who’s put his hands on her and only stayed with her out of convenience. Apparently, he often called her names and could be quite degrading. As far as our relationship goes he has gotten drunk and jokingly called me a bitch before (I matched his energy and wouldn’t say he was being abusive), but otherwise, he hasn’t called me names or done anything overly “toxic” towards me. However, it is difficult knowing his history of being “toxic” or abusive to other women. I find myself empathizing with them to the point of almost being upset with him (which isn’t really fair considering this all happened before i knew him). But the other two long-term girlfriends he’s had also speak quite poorly of him as far as I know and still even after multiple years call him toxic and express their regret ( all three of them were in contact with each other for “support” at one point) . However, he has been very open to me about all of these relationships and the negative part he’s played. I also know there are two sides to every story, and I can’t completely villainize him. He speaks very highly of me and our relationship and assures me constantly that this is different and he has never felt this way about a woman before. I do believe him, because if this man is anything he is honest. But i also want to make sure i’m balancing my emotions with logic. ( im well aware i’m not “different or better” than any of the women he was with prior, i am not the type of girl to think a man will “change for me”. But I really do have hope that he’s learned from these mistakes and is using them to be better moving forward. ( He talks about marriage, etc. which he never considered with the others)..
P.S…I am aware of the age gap and that some might say it’s weird or off-putting, but we talked about it extensively before becoming official. I would also like to add that all of his prior exes were within a few months of his age, so this is the first time either of us has had a significant age gap in a relationship.
What should I do? Am I being naive? Any advice?
In all honesty, I just needed to get this off my chest. I apologize if it's missing context. Any response is appreciated!

25 year old straight male. This is something that really only hit me a couple days ago. I was hanging out with a couple guys in my friend group discussing how to help two of our other friends who really struggle with dating and have never been able to get into a long term relationship despite their "best" efforts for years. (Best in quotes because as much as we try there are definitely things they won't take constructive criticism on).
I was a late bloomer and honestly don't really put myself out there very much, but I have been in one long term relationship of 2+ years as well as a couple shorter situationships, and have had about a dozen sexual partners in total. I am not currently in a relationship, nor do I want to be right now. I mention this all because people do value my input and assume I know what I am talking about to some extent when it comes to girls.
But the reality of it is that I don't. One of my friends mentioned I would be no better off than our two other buddies we were discussing if I looked like them, and honestly I could do nothing but agree.
I have only "pursued" two girls in my entire life, and each occasion led to a short term relationship that I knew wouldn't lead anywhere and was totally ok with. (Pursued in quotes since it was simple as asking each one out once when we barely knew each other). Most of the girls I have gone out with have initiated it. Probably the majority of my hookups have been scenarios where a friend introduces their friend who is into me or some girl coming up to me when I'm just standing at the bar. (I do reject the vast majority of girls who approach me).
But this also means I have no idea how to approach girls, especially those who I fear may reject me. I don't think I've ever had a "crush" on a girl and I've never put any effort into going after someone. As I look to date seriously again down the line, I don't even know how to go after someone I am actually interested in. I am undergoing this shift in mentality where I feel like I have options (something relatively new to me) but at the same time I have this feeling that I won't even know how to start if someone I am truly interested in happens to fall in front of me. Like I won't even be able to get into position to fumble. I also don't really know how to get girls to actually like me, if that makes sense.
This worry is starting to grow a bit in my mind, as is my inability to help out my friends / family (younger brother) who struggle. It feels bad not being able to give much useful advice to someone in my brother's position, for example. In a lot of ways I was (and still am) the same shy, quiet, reserved guy he is, but I just got lucky.

Hi! I'm new-ish to fragrances, have mostly been buying discovery kits and decants. I have 10ml each of 3 Kayali fragrances from a Sephora kit, one of which is Vanilla 28 - I didn't like the scent initially, but I've read online that this particular frag often gets better and sweeter with time.
I've noticed that none of my Kayalis (including samples) last very long on my skin at all, which again, after researching online, many people said they noticed improved longevity after letting their Kayalis macerate.
So my question is, how long should I let my Kayalis sit for? I'm a total frag beginner so I don't think I'd be able to tell when they're considered "fully" macerated, or at least macerated enough to my liking (in terms of longevity, and specifically with Vanilla 28, more sweetness). A few weeks? Months? Help appreciated!

I've been with Sean for seven years now, engaged for two, and we've lived together for three and a half years. We are great together, we do so many things together, and he is the person I believe I was meant to be with. We fit together perfectly, I trust him with my entire being, and I've never loved anyone this much before.
My co-worker Tyler and I became friends when I started working in the office. Tyler is big into anime and manga. It's a guilty pleasure of mine, and Sean has really no interest in it. Tyler and I also have cosplay in common and conventions, which Sean finds dumb.
The past two years, Tyler and I have attended conventions together as friends. It's been totally platonic and every time we've hung out, he's told me every time to invite Sean. Each time Sean declined.
So a few weeks ago, Tyler and I went to the Barnes and Noble after work to look at books. We were sitting down and talking about how much we both really loved this one book and the ending. I saw him staring at me and I looked back, he brought his face in to mine and we kissed. He initiated it, but I definitely reciprocated. It was about 3 seconds and we both pulled away.
He immediately apologized and so did I. We both agreed that it was a mistake, that we were emotional, and that we needed to end anything besides a coworker relationship between us.
Tyler told his wife and self reported the situation to work. They interviewed us and basically said since we're in separate departments and not under the same line of report as long as neither of us feel harassed, it's not a company issue.
I told Sean immediately and apologized, promising that Tyler and I would not be seeing each other as friends again. He lost it on me. He told me that Tyler obviously had feelings for me and had tried to take advantage. I told him that it was a mistake on both of our parts, but that it was done, and apologized for crossing the line. I've felt sick to my stomach ever since. I'm not sleeping. I hate myself.
Sean has been incredibly cold to me. One word terse answers. Ignoring me. Taking snipes at me. Bringing up that I cheated every time we get into an argument.
He told me he wants me to go to my job and say that Tyler crossed a line with me. He said if I was truly sorry I would make sure that I never saw Tyler again. At work I might see Tyler maybe once a week by coincidence, and that's see, as in pass by, not talk to, not interact with, but simply see.
I told him I'm not willing to lie to my job to get Tyler fired. Sean told me that I've made my choice then and I'm not the person who he thought I was.
I know I screwed up. I know I crossed a line. I've been totally honest with him, I've let him check my phone, I've come straight home from work, and I've promised that I won't go to any more conventions. He still refuses to budge from this ultimatum and seems ready to walk out at any moment.
How do I fix things with him? Am I wrong to refuse to go after Tyler's job? I can only imagine what he's dealing with trying to fix things with his wife. I don't want to make it worse.
My friendship with Tyler is over. Does my relationship with Sean have to be too? I feel like my life is falling apart over one mistake.
tl:dr A co-worker and I kissed in a vulnerable moment. My fiancé wants me to get him fired to prove I'm sorry. He's acting like he's done with me after seven years no matter what I do.

TLDR; My kids don't like their dad, even so far as resent him because he is always working.
I (f30) have been with my husband (m30) for 12 years. Together we have a ten year old daughter and a five year old son. Both special needs. Husband is suspected to be on the spectrum.
My husband and I grew up in vastly different childhoods. He is an immigrant from the Philippines and had a family that showed no affection or love. I, however, grew up with a Mom who never let us forget how much she loved us. This has played a big role in our parenting styles.
My husband and my daughter have never had the best relationship. To my perspective it seem that he just doesn't know how to act with kids. They are also so alike that they can butt heads. When my son was born, my husband had a much easier time bonding with him. Up until 1.5 years old, they were two peas in a pod. My daughter was 6 when I had my son, and she saw the difference In how they were treated.
Side note: my daughter has been in therapy since 5 due to catastrophic anxiety and has even had to be medicated.
My daughter started to think her dad didn''t like her, which was understandable to me. And it was something she worked on in therapy. Then the dialoged changed from thinking her dad doesn't like her, to now she doesn't like her dad.
My husband has always worked hard to provide for us, making sure bills are always paid, there's always food, etc. I always worked full time as well, until 2020. In 2020 my husband got a job as an executive chef, since the kids had to be home due to covid, we decided I would quit my job and stay with the kids. It was cheaper than child care.
If you look up "what it's actually like being a chef's wife" you instantly see it's very lonely. My husband works 16-18 hour days, he has two scheduled days off, but sometimes he has to go in on those days as well. When he is home he does his best to help out and spend time with us. However, he is understandably exhausted.
Once my son started pre-k, he no longer gets to see my husband very much at all. His bus arrives before his dad is up, and his dad gets home after my son is asleep. He see's him sundays, and Monday evenings. That's it. My husband missed him growing into childhood. My daughter only see's him every day because her school starts later and he often takes her to school. She's asleep before he gets home as well. I feel like a single parent most of the time.
On my own I got my daughter's mental health stable and got her off meds by age 8.
My daughter kept consistent with saying she doesn't like her dad, only it changed to hate. She started saying she hates when he is home. Even though in my eyes, their relationship looks (on the surface,) to be much better now that she is older. My son, four at the time, started to say he didn't like daddy, only mommy.
I talked to my husband about spending more time with them, try to bond a little more, maybe take an occasional day off (he hasn't taken one off in four years). He felt really guilty and spiraled into a deep depression. In his head, there is NO room for adjusting his schedule, or taking extra time off.
Another side note: In the middle of all this my husband was offered a different exec chef job, which would of paid about the same, but we would of had benefits, PTO, Bonuses, and a family friendly schedule. But it's corporate, which he hates. He loves where he cooks at now.
Both kids have been keeping up with the negative feelings toward their dad (it's very obvious he loves them). Everytime I tried to talk to my daughter about it, go deeper, as in WHY she feels this way, I was met with "I don't know" and she would shut down.
Yesterday I pick up my daughter from school and when we get home she sees her dad is home. Instantly her attitude changes and she starts saying how she hates her dad, she wishes he wasn't home and that he would just leave forever. However this time she told me a little more. She's depressed, she wanted to go back on meds, and she's just having a hard time all together. She told me she resented her dad for never being there. That he isn't her father and she would be happy if she never saw him again.
I validated her feelings, I mean, I totally get where she is coming from, and I let her know we would get through this together.
It hurts my heart to hear these things. I don't know how to handle the situation.
Should I tell my husband and hope it gets through to him enough for him to make a change? Or do I just spare my husband feelings because most likely nothing is going to change and this way we'd avoid another depression episode, and just be there for my daughter, handle it on my own?
HELP!
Edit: We do not NEED him to work those hours, he isn't working long hours for finances. This is what his job entails, and he is VERY dedicated to his job. It's his passion.

I launched my Steam page 5 months ago and since then it has done fairly well so I thought other people might get something out of me writing about it.
I approached things as I took a slightly different approach to most people in that I 'soft' launched with no trailer and no promotion. My reasoning behind this was that I had no following online, no experience marketing, and I wanted to get an idea of these things as well as really nail my game hook before I started promoting.
I'll start by saying that I know my wishlists aren't as high as some peoples crazy numbers but I think it has done ok for a first time launch by someone with zero experience.
This is my game on Steam: https://store.steampowered.com/app/2752020/Lair_Of_The_Leviathan/
Heres my wishlist graph. I'm currently just under 12k wishlists.
https://imgur.com/a/7zsxd3m
Warning, this might be a long post but I tried to break it down into sections.
The first spike is from the steam traffic at launch. The little bumps throughout were just posting either pixelart, on dev forums, Twitter etc. Just basic posts or art. Then the big spike at the end is the proper promotion with the trailer.
I thought I'd go through a few areas and methods I used to slowly build up an audience. When I first started posting it was more about practicing. Identifying a core message and seeing what works and getting comfortable with things.
At first I started with mainly reddit, Facebook groups and Twitter. I thought since no one knows about my game and I'm really uncomfortable posting about jt I just want to put it out there a bit and see what people think. I figured that these are easy platforms to post on and I could slowly build up my twitter following. After I started to promote a bit and had a trailer I started targetting specific subreddits related to my genre.
Reddit -
Reddit is great for getting quick steam visits. But it's a one and done type of thing. Traffic drops off in less than a day usually and it's difficult to find places to post promotional stuff.
If your art is pixel art, pixelart is ok but people there generally aren't interested in games, or at least my type of RPG. A post with around 1000 upvotes would get me about 50-100 wishlists.
Dev subreddits can get you some traffic but I found it much more useful to get people's reaction and to see what worked, what doesn't work. Subs like indiedev are great for just posting things and not worrying about a negative reaction as generally people are great!
If you have a specific type of game, I found that targetting that specific audience! For me the most effective was rpggamers. You might thinking smaller subreddits aren't worth it but you will get a higher percentage of people interested. I had way more views and upvotes on my pixelart posts but my rpggamers post gave me a much higher ratio of visits and wishlists.
Also one thing I didn't know and a kind soul pointed out was games. They have over 3 million subscribers. They don't allow promotion but they have an indie Sunday where you can post once a month. Use that once your page looks good.
The biggest take away I had from reddit in general was don't just go in dumping your 'ad' on people. No one wants to read that. Just be genuine, say here, this is my game, this is my hook, this is why I'm making it and why you might like it. I see a lot of developers not identifying why people should be interested in their game, what makes it different, people would want to play it?
Twitter -
What is often said about Twitter is true. It's a lot of devs following devs. Even if you get a viral post it won't give you mega traffic for your page. I had one post with almost a million views and it contributed maybe 5000 visits with a much lower conversion rate too.
However, I think people are looking at Twitter wrong. It's good for posting quick updates, seeing what interests people, testing out your game 'hook' and messaging and seeing what people respond to. It's also just great for practicing how to post and getting desensitised if you are worried about posting in public. I'm an introvert so I loved posting on Twitter to my 0 followers and not having to worry!
It can also lead to publications picking up and posting about your game. These do result in actual steam visits. I had a couple of sites write about my game which resulted in a few 1000 visits each time.
The more followers you get the more things are amplified when you post too. You can have quite a far reach with ‘normal’ people but again, so far I haven't found it leads to as much traffic as reddit although I only have a couple of thousand followers
Facebook groups-
This is one that I think people underestimate, especially at the beginner level. Facebook posts I found have a way longer tail too. Reddit traffic just disappears in a day but on Facebook it's a steady stream over a week.
It's also a good place to get feedback, practice your messaging and identify your hook that sets your game apart. There are very specific groups for certain genres. I had a lot of success with the indie games dev group (IGD) and when you are first starting out, even a few hundred visits is a huge deal. A lot of the groups are small but they appreciate you posting and you will get high visit rates. Plus I found people there are really friendly..
At a certain point it's not worth it but when you're starting out it's great to practice and also get visits coming in. A few people in the industry also read the posts on Facebook so you can make some connections really easily.
TikTok -
I don't think my game is TikTok friendly (or I suck at it) I have a grand total of 7 views on all my videos combined.
If anyone has success on TikTok with a pixelart game I’d love to hear it.
Other take aways - -
I think the big take away for me was that when you first launch your page, you will suck, at least as a first time developer (at least I did). My page was worse, my art wasn’t very good, even just the set up and descriptions. I think trying to market with that would have been a disaster.
I think taking that extra few months to build up confidence, adjust my page, get my messaging right, these were really key. I get Steam gives you a little push the first day but a push with a shitty looking page and no idea of your hook or how to promote your game will get you nothing anyway.
I think. 'soft' launching like I did really helped me learn how things work and most importantly than anything get down 'ok, this is my hook, this is how it's different to others'. I had no idea about that at launch. Some people say once your game is out it’s out but realistically, no one cares or knows about your game until you start telling them about it. That's really liberating in a way. You can play around, changes things do what you want and literally no one cares
Sorry for that huge wall of text. Waiting for the 'im not reading that' comments but I hope at least some people find it helpful.
Again I'm no expert, I'm sure I could do things better but I think it worked out pretty well. I just wanted to give some tips in case people are either at a loss about whether they should launch their page or not or even why they can’t get traction.
I’m happy answering any questions or you can message me on TwitteX @nostalgicrealms

Hi,
So my partner and I (both in our mid 20s) are long distance for half a year now and it has been a rollercoaster, of course like in every relationship. We haven't been able to connect so much with each other because of the time zones and busy lifestyles from both of us and it has been noticeable. We've met twice already and my partner is moving to my country very soon, but I've noticed some changes in his behaviour.
I mentioned that to him and he expressed his feeling of being unsure about everything. He said he lost the feeling he had in the start, probably because of the distance and that kind of hurts. I've connected more, I love him more than he loves me, and that kind of hurts to hear from him but from an objective side, I understand his point of view.
When you're used to having relationships in person and then you suddenly go long distance, it makes a mess in your brain - you know you care about somebody and that you're loyal to them, but you can't see or touch them and it is a whole mess.
I am used to having long distance relationships and not only romantic - I am living in a country by myself while my family is back in my home town and I had a lot of time to get used to that, and that's why I understand him, but I am curious if somebody else had this experience.
He won't give up, we both remember how it felt when we spent time together, that's why he is still moving, he just said he doesn't want to do all the moving paperwork in one go, he wants to move in parts in case this relationship doesn't work out, which I totally understand!
I am having the same kind of insecurities but I am trying to reason them with this distance thing and we both want to try to make something happen between us, because I am sure we will strengthen when we are actually together in person.
Love is a choice and it's not only a feeling, and right now the feeling is lost and we both made a choice to want to make this work one way or another. We didn't meet by accident, this was meant to be and we both have the same opinion. I just want to talk to somebody with mine or his perspective and not feel alone.
I know I should live in the now and not be scared for the future, but today is this kind of day where I am a bit shaken up. I went through a lot of heartbreaks and I am not scared of them in general, but not gonna lie, I have my moments of weakness where I do feel scared like a normal human being.
Thank you for future feedback :)

For those of of you on a bulk what diet did you commit to? It seems like Paleo makes the most sense in comparison to how I have been eating for a long time anyways however the carbs on the Paleo diet seem like they require a large quantity to eat in order to hit the daily macros we need. Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. Oh also are you guys strictly sticking to your total caloric goal per meal vs not going over your total daily intake? I've noticed my energy levels for the day are much better with a big breakfast of around 1100 calories where my limit per meal is 932 calories but want to be true to the challenge and not cheat.

This post is not about the plot itself but more about how a game should be designed.
People who play Cyberpunk should probably be familiar with the meme about the infamous "Meet Hanako at Ember.", but that meme itself was a fundamental problem with the open-world game.
Recently, I've been playing a lot of Horizon: Zero Dawn. The story was great, but one element gave me the most thinking: Aloy's pursuit of her own mystery gradually elevated to an even bigger and more global-impact mission about the world's fate, and her success was tied to humanity's fate.
This is a cool idea and a main driving force for me to play the game, and it is absent in cyberpunk. V've made so many big decisions, but apart from some news feeds we can see on TV, none of that reflects in the game world itself. But when I think about the possible solution to this problem, I realise that this problem is not that simple. The problem is that it is a game.
Games, especially open-world games, by their nature, are anti-timers. You can't put a timer on the player and expect them to be happy. This is especially true when you play the DLC for Zero Dawn. A dialogue tells you that you should return to your task to stop Eclipse from destroying the world.
But guess what? You can still play in the snow, and the whole main quest plus side gigs in DLC can cost a whole week from an in-game world perspective. When you finally defeat the last Fireclaws and find all the paints, you can finally return to Meridian, which can probably take another week due to the distance.
When you finally deliver the bad news to Sun King, the game will tell you that finishing all the remaining matters before sleep will probably be a good idea. But because the map is so big, it literally takes Aloy days to travel from one quest to another. When you finally clean up all the green dots on the map, it could take a whole month before it is time to go to sleep.
I think this is the problem with the open-world game. People all want open-world games, especially open-world RPG games, to have a believable world in which player decisions can impact the game world. I like this, too. But whenever I think about this question about how such a game will look when you have a big mission or a sense of urgency to change the world your character is currently living in, it brings more questions than answers, like, How long should you make such a decision? Is 60 hours in the game to do that thing better than doing that in 15 hours? Or should I do another thing I was more interested in and leave this latter for who knows how long? And if the world changed while I was doing another thing, what should I do if I just couldn't do those things fast enough?
Fundamentally, I think there isn't a wrong way to play the game since it should be played how the players feel they're most joyful—however, immersion in the open-world game conflicts with the nature of such a game itself. The world independently exists from the gamer. Such conflict will ultimately result in the whole world becoming another, just running around the map and chasing one quest and then another before the whole world experiences boring and repeating.
So, I hope that in the next game, which is probably 5-8 years away, we can find a new solution to this problem: how to balance exploring and the in-game world itself.

Me (20F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been dating almost a year, but for the past seven months we have had the same problem. He keeps saving/looking at online girls when I have told him on each offence (six times now I've caught him) how it makes me feel. How do I make him understand my feelings and get him to stop in an effective way?
The first time I had found girls on his phone was in October. There were hundreds of photos of porn, sexual photos, or just normal pretty women in his camera roll. After I found it, I asked him to delete all of the photos, as it made me feel uncomfortable he was looking at all these other girls when he is dating me. He immediately was on board and deleted all of them. Few months later, it happened again in December. Then again in January. The third time I really tried to explain how I felt, and thought I did well. But once again in April, there is more photos. This has happened six times now in total, and each time it hurts me more and more. To be fair, he has stopped saving these photos, but I still find him looking at OnlyFans girls and scrolling through their pages endlessly. I decided to write him a long letter about how I really felt, and I finally thought I got through to him. He was very apologetic and promised it was the last time. Next day, I go through his reddit searches and he was searching up more and more women. He said he wanted to do it "one last time" before he couldn't.
I'm not sure how to get him to stop this. He said he is tired of us always arguing about this, but I explained that if he is tired of this problem, he can easily stop it himself. I'm embarrassed of this, and don't want to ask my friends for advice because I've been asking for the same advice for months. I want to find a way to make him understand how it truly makes me feel, and how to tell him to stop respectfully. What's your advice on how I should communicate this?

Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
Zildiz felt her exomorph go rigid as it lost contact with her central nervous system. Curse that wretched Leaper! She’d forgotten just how durable their physiologies were. Their exomorphs had three times as many backup systems as those of Gallivants, unsurprising given that they had to retain control over their complex musculature. She’d been a fool for thinking that merely cutting it in half would do the trick. The error would wind up costing her life in these next few moments unless she took drastic action.
She was blind—her helm and its sets of eyes had sustained catastrophic damage and left her soft innards exposed. Even worse, she was crippled, the exomorph’s augmented muscle fibers unresponsive to her nervous system's inputs. But perhaps she still had the sheer physical strength to swing her blades. Zildiz tried to flex her wrist and was rewarded by a vigorous twitch of her pinky finger. Just in time; she could hear the Leaper close by, the leaf litter crackling as it approached.
Not yet, she told herself. Just a little closer. Hands pawed at her face and tore off the remnants of her helmet, scraping the hemolymphic gel from her naked face. What the hell was it doing? Zildiz had to restrain herself from crying out and striking at the air in panic.
Not yet! It was a crime to interrupt a fool when he was digging his own grave. Zildiz lay perfectly still as the Leaper fiddled around with her exomorph, feeling helpless and violated as never before. Vowing to give the bastard a slow and painful death for this, she curled her hand into a fist and waited until she felt its fingers caress the surface of her innards. Letting out a scream of incoherent rage Zildiz thrust at her unseen enemy, heard a cry of pain and the Leaper stumbling away, swearing profusely.
“Ow! That hurt, you witch! What the blazes are you?” the Leaper cried out. Zildiz frowned. That hadn’t sounded like the croaking of a Leaper. Speaking a slow and halting fashion, she replied:
“I would ask you the same thing.”
“I am Rene Louvoture, assistant navigator, 9th Battalion, 3rd Pathfinder Regiment.”
Zildiz shook her head at the string of gibberish.
“I am Zildiz, of the Blade-Wings. Why haven’t you killed me?”
“Why would I?" said the voice, sounding both shaky and incredulous, “You’re just like me, aren’t you?”
“How so?”
“Open your eyes and see for yourself.”
Zildiz realized with a start that it was referring to the primitive ocular organs of her innards. The thought hadn’t even occurred to her. The last time she’d been out of her exomorph was when she and Menash had been together, many cycles ago. With great effort her atrophied facial muscles remembered how to lift her eyelids, and she beheld a world of total darkness.
Bioluminescent growths from the surrounding vegetation gradually helped her to see with her naked eyes, and she beheld the prey-form standing over her with a hand clamped to its bleeding shin. Its albino exoskeleton was ripped and stained with blood. In its fist it clutched a short blade that emitted a constant, low hum. Zildiz propped herself up on her elbow and locked eyes with the creature. To her disgust she found that its exomorph had a completely transparent helm allowing her to see its bare face in all its lumpen hideousness. It had a head of curled black hairs, matted and moist like the growths on a Leaper’s belly. The prey-form’s flat, broad nose gave it a singularly pugnacious look, while its skin was as milk-white as that of a flesh-eating maggot’s. Zildiz dragged herself back, her first instinct being to recoil from it.
“Don’t move,” Rene advised her, “You’ve suffered some sort of spinal injury, I think. Can you feel your legs?”
“No,” Zildiz lied, thrusting out her chin at him defiantly, “What do you care?”
“I told you, I’m not about to kill you. We’re the same, can’t you see? Human!”
“We share the primal pattern, but I am a Gallivant. You are not. That is all that matters.”
“Right,” Rene sighed and sat down on the rotting log, “Whatever that means. Ye gods, I need a stiff drink right about now.”
Zildiz eyed him suspiciously, convinced it was some sort of ruse. He was just gauging how crippled she truly was and waiting for her to lower her guard. Very well; two could play at that game. In the meantime, she would try and work some feeling back into her exomorph.
“Are you really a hatchling?” she asked it suddenly.
“You heard that nonsense, did you?” Rene glanced up, “Of course not. I was just leading them on. The ‘fire giant’ isn’t a living creature, it’s a machine—a Divine Engine. What, don’t you have them wherever it is that you come from?” he joked, smiling at her. Zildiz grimaced at the sight, and he stopped.
“A machine,” she said slowly, “Like this one?”
Zildiz gestured at her disabled exomorph. Rene chewed over that piece of information. So that was what she was wearing: a living machine, a sealant suit of chitin and muscle equipped with weaponry and capable of flight. Like the Engine, it was a level of technology he hadn't even known could exist.
“Not exactly,” he finally replied, “I mean, it isn’t quite as revolting as yours. No offense,” he added quickly, snatching a quick glance at her face. She had a hawkish look about her, all thin lines and edges, but somewhere in there was a wild and timeless beauty which defied his attempts to pin down as some definable quality of womanhood.
“So you have been inside of it,” she confirmed with a look of satisfaction.
“I didn’t say that,” Rene stammered, feeling like he was losing the battle for information, “I merely observed it from a distance. I mean, the sheer size of it. Who wouldn’t have? You saw what I—what it—did to the Amit mound.”
Rene bit his lip, mentally kicking himself for his careless slip of the tongue. Zildiz narrowed her eyes at him, partly out of mistrust and partly due to the head-splitting migraine she was feeling. It had been so long since she’d been forced to rely on this basic sense organ, and its rods and cones were out of practice.
“The grey behemoth, this Divine Engine, as you call it. Did the Vitalus send it to cull the colony? Are you a Hollowore?”
“A Hull-of-War?” Rene repeated dimly.
"A Inkarnid? An Aspect of the All-In-One?"
“Look, I haven’t the foggiest notion what you’re talking about. And I’m the one asking questions here, don’t you forget it. Flame and perdition!” he swore, “You really nicked me, you know that?
Rene set his sword to aside and bent over to poke at the shallow stab wound on his shin. Zildiz chose that moment to burst into action. She was on her feet before he knew it, slicing at him with her blade arms. Rene yelped and rolled backwards off the log, narrowly avoiding dismemberment and flipping over nimbly to his feet, cursing himself for letting her gain the upper hand.
“Stop! Please, I don’t wish to hurt you!” he shouted at her as he ran circles around the dead tree, keeping it between himself and her wicked blades. Her movements were awkward and ponderous, as though her legs weren’t used to supporting the weight of her body. Scowling wrathfully, Zildiz kept after him as he jogged just out of her reach, the two of them playing a very earnest game of ring around the rosy. Finally Rene had enough and took up the club again, whacking her on the back of the knees so that she fell forward onto her hands. Her nose flattened itself against a pebble, producing an indescribable pain. She groaned and clutched at her face while Rene sat on her back to keep her pinned down.
“Sorry! Sorry! I really am. But it seems at this point to be abundantly clear,” Rene shouted as she flailed at him ineffectually with her blades, “That I have no other option but to take you in!”
“Just try and feed me to your brood, I dare you!” she screamed as blood trickled from her nostrils, “I’ll carve out their eyes and feed it to them!”
“What? No! That’s not it at all!” Rene cried, mortified, “As a soldier of the Fleet, I am hereby placing you under arrest as a hostile belligerent. Henceforth, you may consider yourself my prisoner of war!”
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/Used-Register3714 posting in AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC
Ongoing as per OOP
2 updates - Long
Original - 2nd March 2024
Update1 - 14th April 2024
Update2 - 11th May 2024
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WIBTA if I turned down a promotion due to my original transfer being blocked?
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WIBTA? Little back story, I started working for a company in early 2022 as what they labeled as Admin, but don't let that fool you we were no admins, we worked 3 different departments that they combined into one with 3 people to cover everything, plus we were constantly fixing Customer Service mistakes.
Nov 2022 I met with the director of the Benefits Dept at work because I was interested in transferring and we went over the department, what the job entails and what I could start working on to better my chances at transferring. I checked in with the director many times as I finished different tasks such as completing the training courses, shadowing members of the team, and taking part in live trainings.
Early 2023 the director got a promotion to be the director of another department. In March a spot opened up in Benefits and it was a little outside what I knew, it was more a specialized position, but I still applied. I met with a few managers and the new director for interviews. We discussed many things and it was a positive experience, they were even happy with the steps that I had taken with the previous director. However, because it was such a specialized position they didn't want to throw me into the deep end, so they told me to apply for a different position when it opened up.
In May the other position opened up and I applied and basically skipped the interviews. The director and I meet and we discussed getting me transferred and doing it in a hybrid type manner. That worked for me and it worked for my current manager at the time too. Sadly, it feel through and I could never seem to get an answer as to why. It started out as budget reasons, totally understandable, but then it switched to not having troubleshooting knowledge that I would have if I had worked in Customer Service.
I had meeting with my (admin) manager and director, she covers both admin and customer service, I asked more clarifying questions as to why the transfer fell through but no one could give me a straight answer. We developed a plan to get me transferred to Benefits that caused me to route through Customer Service. I was transferred into Customer Service in November 2023.
Our CS team is split into basically 2 levels, 1 being online requests which is where everyone starts. You work a variety of requests and can gain a lot of knowledge. This is currently where I am. The second level is working the phones and helping the people that call in. This is more limited subject matter and can also carry a lot of "downtime" as they cannot work the online requests like the first level can because they will be on and off the phone all day.
Here is where I am wondering if I WIBTA. I have figured out, though not confirmed, that my directors boss is the one that blocked my transfer back in May and she is just a bitch/micromanager in general. Now someone from out phone team is leaving and it has been hinted that I might be the next one to move up. While it would come with a pay increase, not a lot or enough for the crap that we go through, I don't want it because I see it as more detrimental to me possibly transferring to my preferred department.
WIBTA if I said no because it would do more harm than good. Then turning around and asking how much longer I needed to be in the Customer Service department before I could apply to another position in the Benefits Dept?
Maybe helpful to also know that my customer service manager is not the best, she seems to bow down the the micromanager and she can't seem to manage a team of 10ish people, nor was she able to do half her job for moths and my admin manager was the one doing her work.
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Comments
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Magdovus
They're screwing you around. If you're good at your current role they don't want to move you. You could tell them that they transfer you or you leave, but they probably don't care about you much. Alternatively, just coast along, do what you must to keep management off your back and find a new job.

OOP: I've been thinking about coasting and just working my job description. Our phone team is technically down one person, and we have to help cover the missing persons time on phones. It's split, between most of us that work the first level. I might come out of that meeting with no phone time because it's not part of my job and you are probably right they don't want to move me because of that.

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RndmIntrntStranger
NTA you do not have to stay at a job where you feel like you’re not growing/moving up. do not let any employer trick you into thinking that you owe it to them to stay there if it no longer works out for you. time to update your resume and start job hunting to see what’s out there.

OOP: Already started. I even interviewed for the same company that my coworker is joining. It will be interesting if we end up working together again.

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Update - 6 weeks later
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So I was an idiot and decided to take the promotion. Not my finest moment.
However, things have taken a turn for the interesting.
A week after I took the promotion another team that I have been interested in but never thought I could work in tapped me to transfer to their team. I ended up reaching out to our HR team to gather some guidance and spoke with our recruiter that works internally and externally.
He gave me some good pointers and helped me navigate how to best approach the conversation. The conversation then turned to my manager and I let him know all the issues I've been having with her, including not approving PTO till timecards are being turned in amongst other issues. Turns out I am not the first person to bring these concerns forward and HR is actively looking into the situation.
I ended up having a conversation with my manager the following week and from the start of the conversation I knew it wouldn't have the outcome I was hoping for based off of her body language. And I was right, even with laying everything out I was denied my managers blessing because I just moved tiers.
But the fun part of all of this is that she tried to pull the 6-month rule as to why I couldn't apply. The 6-month rule is part of our handbook. "You have to be in your position for 6-months before you can transfer internally for non-exempt employees." I asked my manager to get us clarification since we both had different understanding of the rule.
I know position could be tier, however I asked our HR team and the said position is department based. A better wording would be in my department for 6-months.
The following week she director was out so can't do anything that week so the following week I asked for a follow up. Guess who forgot to follow up with me. Not the first time she has done this. She is now saying it is tier based and I have to be in my position for a YEAR.
I reached back out to HR and we are now looping in the head of HR to talk about this.
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Comments
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rendar1853
Why did you take the promotion when you knew this person was playing games with your career?

OOP: Believe me I am pissed at myself for taking it. I have been a people pleaser for so long and it's something I've been improving on and I was caught in a weak moment. I did have some hope that the agreement that was in place before this person became my manager would be honored but I was naive to think so.
I can always back out of the new position if need be, which I have been think about.

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Magdovus
Ask HR if you can apply for jobs in the other department as an external candidate instead of an internal one. When they ask why tell them that quitting and reapplying seems to be the only way to avoid your current department managers trying to ruin your career.

OOP: This is a thought that I have. Going to wait and see what happens with my next meeting with HR. They seem supportive of my transfer so they may be able to pull some strings to make it happen, but this is on my radar.

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Update - 1 month later
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So it has been a month of back and forth, and we still don’t technically have a resolution but I thought I might give a quick update.
After our director was back I reached out to my manager to ask if they had received clarification and they said: “if you move tiers your clock restarts and I have to be in my department for a year”. That still didn’t sit right with me, I had previously contacted HR as a minor inquiry if the clock was tier or department and they had said department.
I reached back out to the head of our HR team and set up a meeting so that we could discuss this. In that meeting, HR agreed with me and said that they would speak with the director to get clarification on what was going on and she would get back to me by the end of the week. She did and told me straight up that I met the tenure requirements to be able to apply for a transfer. Now I was supposed to get an update but it was postponed due to people being out of the office and things like that. But I finally got the update last week. They are saying no for two reasons now, I don’t meet the requirements of the job, such as a degree, and performance. But my performance has never been addressed. When I have made mistakes, I informed and the mistakes never happened again.
As for the degree thing, that can be worked around, and that is something that the manager or that team is working on for me.
But now they are saying that it is a big concern of theirs. My question at this point is if it was such a big concern why was that not brought up from the beginning? Why were we only discussing my tenure as the reason that I couldn’t apply?
Honestly, I almost quit in that meeting right there. The only reason that I am even thinking of staying is that the team that I would be transferring to is amazing and I already know how they operate and I already work closely with them.
I should be having another meeting next week with the manager and director and I am going to likely loop in HR as well.
I have decided that if I am blocked from applying I will be leaving and I will be citing that as well as many other reasons as to why I am leaving. The least of which is the fact that I now know that the director has gone and bad-mouthed an employee to another manager that someone was hoping to transfer over to.
Edit to add: I just spoke with a coworker who left a few weeks ago. They pulled the same things with him. He wanted to go to another department but they had a meeting with him saying that they saw him on a different path, one that kept him in the department. He said they did that to our other coworker who left just before him too.
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Comments
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No-Dig7828
Update resume and GTFO now.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP. Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

My name was slandered SO badly by the quinte.ca news that it is literally criminal and VERY VERY messed up.
According to this article I am a Sex Predator and was trying to lure a 13 year old for sex using the internet.(!!!!!)
This is a long story so I’m going to do my best at condensing it so people actually read it.
This is what happened: With a fair amount of spare time on my hands I decided to do something that would create a positive, long lasting impact. I knew there had to be some real sex predators in a city this size so I decided to see if any ADULTS online were interested and fully follow through with preying on a minor. Less than a few minutes after creating a profile I was contacted by a Belleville Resident who indicated DIRECTLY to me that he was “ok” with the decoys age.

I told him my age was TWELVE. 

Within the first 5 minutes of the conversation. So for the next five days he was essentially grooming who he believed was 12 year old and attempting to meet him that upcoming weekend. At no time did I initiate or direct the conversation to move in the dirty direction. I wanted to not only provide as much solid evidence as possible for the police, but I was thinking forward to do the same for the future prosecution when this case ultimately reached the Court….( at least In my mind, this is what I was doing it for! )
Speaking to him about 45 minutes each day I was shocked at how this was actually happening. Shocked at how quickly, unaffected and confident he was to be luring a 12 year old to his apartment.
Most disturbing was the bits of information that was confessed to me. How he “had to be really careful” because he is already a registered sex offender due to being caught with another minor years ago, and how he “had multiple other people your age” in the past which he had never been caught for.
So obviously by the time I was aware of that I was Deadset at not only catching and exposing this creep but see to it that he gets his rightful spot back in a prison cell.

Make no mistake I took screenshots of EVERY message/text/conversations/photos. 

( I had taken photos of myself and used an age altering app which was procured freely from Apple. ) Upon his request I sent multiple Altered selfies over those five days in the various poses he was asking for. Obviously this was done to prove that the decoy was in fact “real”. Bam. That’s it. It was Friday and this registered sex offender “PDF File” was in FULL BELIEF and confident that a Minor was on the way to his apartment to “teach him” how to have sex.
I went just outside the meeting area a bit early and sat down with my Sony 500 video camera around my neck and was prepared to begin the video, capturing him as he went directly to the prearranged location. He was going with the quickness and attempting to hold back the huge shit eating grin on his face. Disgusting. Vile. True evil.
So I walked up to him while recording and made a call from my cellphone to his which I used to instantly tell him off the bat: “YOU’RE FKD!” Also by doing this at that moment I was putting him in a position (ON CAMERA mind you) which he had zero opportunity to deny anything.

Over the next 20-30 minutes He confessed to everything that was said during the conversations. Instead of me questioning him, initially I had told him to tell me exactly why he was there, and for him to tell me (the camera) everything that was in those terrible and unbelievable messages. 

I grilled him like a ribeye.
After having gathered what I believed to be enough evidence and having him vocally express ( One more and last time) directly to the camera why he was there at that precise moment and what it was he had expected to go down that day in his apartment, I decided to end recording, and leave.
With my adrenaline pumping, I left. Forgetting to do what could’ve been the most important thing, not for exposing him or the Court, but for ME. . . Call the cops. I called them about 10 minutes into the walk back to my home. I told the Officer everything that had just happened. Including the prior five days leading up to this event. I was praised for doing what I had done by this Officer but was informed that the “Detective” responsible for this “crime category” was already off duty and wouldn’t be returning until Monday.
On Monday I received a phone call from that Officer and TRIED to explain everything. It was like I was speaking another language to him. He REPEATEDLY tried to change what I was telling him. For example; I explained how I was the decoy and that there did NOT EXIST AN ACTUAL MINOR involved here, and then he would say: “so you and this sex offender ‘hooked up’ and tried to get a ‘13’ year old over to HIS house” !!!!! It was if he was Trolling. He simply could not, or did not WANT TO understand what happened. “It’s like a STING OPERATION” I finally said to him. I told him this guys name and where he lived. I even knew his birthdate from the convos with the Decoy. So this “detective” in charge of investigating a very serious category of crime in this city KNEW that this predator is a Registered Sex Offender. He KNEW that I was in possession of a litany of irrefutable evidence. Yet was totally incompetent and put me down as Suspect #1 from the start. For not a single reason. He denied my requests to come down and SHOW HIM THE FRICKIN’ EVIDENCE. He did not even want to see the video confession!!! Nothing happened. He said it was now an “open case” and I had a case number. Deflated. Flabbergasted. I was [again] in shock. After weeks of waiting, I ended up putting the entire video of sicko confessing and me grilling him on YouTube. My genuine motive from the start was to make a positive impact on the community. To potentially stop a child from being victimized by a predator. I felt let down the police response. Little did I know what was to come SIX months later. The cops raided the house I was living in.
I was immediately handcuffed and told that I was arrested for “LURING A MINOR” !!!! I was literally paralyzed. With at LEAST HALF A DOZEN POLICE OFFICERS AND AN EQUALLY UNNECESSARILY LARGE AMOUNT OF SUVS PARKED ON THE DRIVEWAY, LAWN, AND ONE OF THE BUSIEST ROADS IN THE CITY. RED AND BLUES FLASHING ON ALL OF THEM. W h a t . T h e . F o c k ! ? ! They went up to my neatly organized room and searched it over discovering of course nothing but my phone. Snatching it with a joy like they had just successfully done something significant. I had 5-7 cops surrounding me in a semi circle after arriving at the Jail as I prepared to go inside a cell. They even shackled my feet. I know from watching cops and the like on YouTube to always exercise the right to remain silent. There was nothing I could do or say at that point which would help and I definitely didn’t resist the arrest so it really must’ve been a slow day. Eh guys? That and/or the overly incompetent rookie had relayed to his colleagues and obviously his Superiors to get the raid and arrest warrant his own personal story that he had recreated. Unfriggenbelieveable! It’s SO ABSURD THERE IS NO PROPER WORDS TO EXPRESS HOW IT FEELS TO GO THROUGH THIS! Doing something I considered not just “Right”, but Honourable, Justified, and definitely NOT illegal! How the hell did a JUDGE sign an arrest AND RAID Warrant on me with ZERO evidence, physical, concrete, or even circumstantial?? Not a single reason lawfully or otherwise for them to raid, arrest, shackle my feet and throw me in a jail cell for hours, and then criminally charge me with “Luring of a Minor”. Evidently, according to this news article the police had conducted a Six Month Investigation. Huh? Of What?! On Who?!
Now, Finally, The News Article: The information printed in any news article requires a source, so all of this information had to have only been provided by the police department. This article was printed at 9 in the morning the very next day of the arrest and raid. So of course this was all information provided from police.

This is what the dumbass, rookie, ignorant cop fabricated for no actual real reason: 

“Two men were arrested yesterday after a Six Month long Investigation revealed that the men had ‘BOTH’ believed that they were speaking with a ‘13’ year old boy online. Registered sex offender (the real predators name) and another known sex offender ( my name) are each charged with Luring of a Minor. (Real predators name again) is also charged with using an electronic device to lure a Minor, and breach of probation.”

My LandLord happened to be home at the time of the Raid, and he had also (I guess being suspicious after the raid,) read the article online which is quoted directly above. 

Which meant that he would be evicting me from the property, and I can’t blame him. With that article being read by my roommates and hisself I can’t really blame him for that either.
The charges against myself were eventually dropped, of course. About 18 months later! My phone being confiscated in the raid in order to access everything on there was also given back to me. They played immature and unprofessional games with that as well; returning my property. Such as : come in this day, your phone is ready to be released now. Show up. “Oh so and so thought it was ready but we don’t have it yet.” Weeks later. Get another call saying it is in fact ready now. Show up. “There is no one working in the evidence locker today, there will be in two days.” Screw them! I show up ten days late and what do you know? My property is actually there for me, and I finally get it back. Of course having had to purchase new phone in the meantime. Worse yet, I can’t recall the password and it was before facial recognition (not like that would matter) and after the fingerprint touch button. So it’s just a brick now.
That’s the least of my concern, as that bullshit article remains up, and the YouTube video had been taken down for some privacy violation nonsense.
After paying the criminal defence attorneys’ invoice(s), I couldn’t afford the 6K being asked by EVERY attorney I had reached out to.
So there, that’s one of many of my Unbelievably Insane Life’s stories. I suppose I didn’t provide the short version. Even though I have sincerely tried to keep it all to a minimum by leaving out plenty of details and significant events, this ended up being the Mid Length version.

As the title said. We’re both divorced, we met last year through mutual interests and have been online dating ever since. Initially he seemed to be super involved. We used to write multiple times a day, leave each other many voice messages, videocall often, send each other funny videos and memes, etc. We have so many things in common it’s a bit unsettling sometimes. I love him, and consider him a soulmate. He often used to tell me that he loves me, that he finds me beautiful and sweet, and would like to live with me.
First issue: we live in far continents, and both share houses with flatmates due to economic issues after Covid. We never met, I’m now starting to think it might not happen for a long time due to difficulties with work and money, especially on his part. I could actually visit him for Christmas if I wanted to, but I’m a bit reluctant because he has a young daughter from his previous marriage, which is of course his priority and I wouldn’t want to intrude without him explicitly invite me first, and also because of the second issue.
Second issue: he’s recently been taking an intensive online college course. I supported his decision and really admire him for this, but now I barely hear from him. We see each other online maybe twice a week, for like 1/2 hours. When we see each other, he seems totally normal and happy to see me, and we have a connection. But he barely replies to my messages (which are short and sporadic, I write him literally twice a day), because he says he has to work/study. We went from chatting a lot and exchanging frequent voice messages, to him not reaching out at all. Not even writing me “good morning/good night” or leaving me a 2 seconds vocal sometimes. He’s gonna take the final test for his course soon, and recently he’s refused a 10 minutes videocall (it couldn’t have been longer that that because I had to go to work, he knew it) saying he had no time for that. I realize he’s very busy, plus the time difference has never worked in our favor, and sometimes our flatmates get in the way, but realistically how busy can you be to not having time for any of these things?
I gently brought this up with him a few times, asked him if I bothered him or he was tired of us, and if he thinks there’s no issue with how much we communicate. He says that “we talk everyday” and he thinks we “interact enough”, which was shocking because I honestly think he wouldn’t even send me a 2 seconds voice message once a day if a couple months ago I hadn’t told him that I felt a bit hurt when I would wake up without a single “hello” from him. So I stopped asking anything or complaining, and started writing less and less myself. It just seems like begging for attention, I don’t wanna act clingy or irrational.
I feel sad and lonely. I suffer from depression and chronic health issues, but when I mentioned that I felt my life was like suspended, almost slipping away, he just replied that he was sorry and I should talk to a psychologist (which I already do anyway). The more I think about it, the more discouraged I feel. I wouldn’t be so generic and cold even with an acquaintance, let alone someone I claim to love. And this coming from him, that 1 year ago used to tell me to just write him if I ever felt sad. It’s just strange!
The question: in your opinion, is what we have worth saving? I don’t have enough online dating experience to understand if this might happen in a healthy online relationship. Why does he seem genuinely happy to see me twice a week in videocall, but basically never reaches out during the day? Should I wait to see if after the test he starts communicating with me more? Honestly at this point I’m not sure it’s worth me asking if we should ever meet, and pay a bunch of money to book a plane ticket. Could see each other in person move the relationship forward?
I don’t know what to do, I feel lost. Sorry if this is too long and I seem stupid. Thanks for any advice you might have!

Hi all, The objective of this post is to get together and file a lawsuit against Vinted sharing legal expenses at a European level. Excuse my English (non-native speaker).
Let me start with my story: on March 31st I sold a bulk of items for a total of €1,000 to a European buyer (cross-country European transaction), who contacted me through a generic listing. To handle the payment, the buyer created a second profile, being very specific about the size of the package, requesting the use of a small package for delivery to a locker, which I complied with by carefully packaging the items (I took photos and videos of the packing to protect myself given the substantial cost).
Upon receiving the package on April 6th, the buyer informed Vinted that they had received a damaged package providing a completely blurred picture. I contacted Vinted to understand how to proceed (attaching the whole conversation with the buyer and my suspicions that I could have fallen victim of a scam attempt), and I also contacted the buyer for clarification. However, since then, the buyer won't respond to any messages anymore, neither on their main profile (the one used for the transaction) nor on the secondary profile (the one used for payment). Vinted informed me that the buyer independently provided a return code for the package (which I've been tracking for a long time and it leads to a return to a different European country). I contacted the shipper, who responded with automated emails instructing me to go through Vinted for further information. Btw, at no point was I asked for my home address for the return of the package.
Vinted assured me that upon the return of the package, I would be asked to verify its condition and inform them of the return status to release or withhold the funds accordingly, as clearly indicated in their Terms & Conditions and in their communication. On April 22nd, without any notification from the courier or from Vinted, I received news that the funds had been returned to the buyer, with Vinted first insisting that the package had been returned to me and, when requested for proof of delivery, they said they had made a mistake and the package was still in transit. The only tracking they ever referred to was the one of the buyer (which was obviously misleading, as it referred to a different return, to a different European country).
After threatening legal actions I was eventually compensated 500€ on May 5th, with Vinted stating that any further refund would be dealt with in court if I dare start a legal claim against them (which they know I won't).
I still find the whole settlement unsatisfactory, given that Vinted made a mistake by refunding the buyer without any claim of return of the package and without any proof of the condition of the package.
I am now looking for what I'm owed, and won't stop until I'm refunded. For this reason I'd like to look for people who are going through a similar situation, where Vinted owes them money, and who are willing to share legal expenses and file a common pan-European lawsuit against the platform.

Hi guys! So, I’ve been in the bowl for a few months and have had one consistent SD the whole time. He has been very kind and very giving. Every once in a while, he would talk about how terrible it would be if we weren’t talking. I always assured him that it wouldn’t happen. Recently, he has been talking to somebody new, which I’m totally fine with as I’m seeing other people as well. When we talked about it in the very beginning, I was of course a bit jealous. I joked about it and told him not to like her more than me lol
Lately, he’s been picking more fights than usual. Not real fights but little ways of beginning a bickering match, I guess. Anyway, we haven’t seen each other in a while due to our schedules not lining up. I’ve noticed that that is a pattern with him. If we don’t see each other often enough, we have more problems. He asked me if I cared about seeing him or getting the money. I really didn’t know what to say because on one hand, money is a big factor in this relationship. But I also wouldn’t keep seeing him for the money if I didn’t like him. So, I inquired as to why he would even ask. He told me to forget about it so I moved past it. (What would be the point of that question other than a fight? I feel like no matter what I said, it wouldn’t have been right.) I just feel like there have been a lot of things that he’s said that sound really insecure. I feel like I am constantly needing to reassure him. That was happening before the other girl was introduced but it seems way more frequent. Almost like he is trying to find a way to fight with me so much that I’ll walk away on my own. Or he’s seeing things in her behavior and questioning me about mine. For example: If she told him that she wanted to run away with him for the rest of her life, he’d ask me if I wanted to do that. Like he’s comparing us.
I can’t understand his intentions. I don’t know if any of this makes sense. It’s sort of me rambling but I need some help. If I were to bring it up, what should I say? Should I bring it up at all? I really don’t know what to feel. Please ask questions if you need, I know this is all over the place. It’s really hard to boil down a few months in a couple paragraphs. Help :/

Thraxas seems to be criminally obscure and underrated, so I thought I'd give it a shout. It's a mix of urban fantasy set in a high fantasy world, and a pulpy detective. Easy to read, short books, light, but not too light. It can be quite humorous at times, but I wouldn't classify it as comedic. If you enjoyed Garrett PI a great deal and wanted something similar - look no further. 12 books in total so far. It's semi-episodic, and the last book finishes an arc, so there's no real cliffhanger there.
Thraxas is a 40-something ex-senior investigator at the imperial palace who got booted due to having one drink too many at the wrong time. Now he's reduced to being a cheap private investigator who lives and operates out of a tavern in a poor part of the town near the harbour. Thraxas has an unlikely sidekick of sorts - Makri, who's a young quarter orc, quarter elf, half human woman, who had recently escaped orcish gladiator pits and has her eyes set on higher education, so she works as a barmaid to make money for the college (it makes more sense than it sounds like, trust me). The series is chiefly set in the city-state of Turai - it's extremely corrupt and it's currently plagued by a drug epidemic.
The book has lots of colourful characters - a disgraced sorcerer who got caught cheating while being in charge of keeping the chariot racing games honest, a creepy female assassin (according to Thraxas, anyway) who constantly keeps visiting Makri in the tavern, the city's most powerful sorceress is hopelessly addicted to a relatively mild drug which she takes to the next level by growing it herself via a special growing spell, and smoking copious amounts of it through a water pipe.
There's gambling, there's drinking, drugs, dead bodies, power hungry city officials, disgusting politics, riots, widespread corruption... But worry not, Thraxas, who is number one chariot at investigating (a self proclaimed one, admittedly), will not let you down. At least as long as he has copious amounts of food and beer in his belly.
Some shortcomings to keep in mind - like always, the first book is a little on the weaker side, however in this case I think the series gets into its stride straight from the second book. The last 4 books were self-published, and, unfortunately, have some proofreading issues. However, aside from this minor annoyance (and it depends on how you're sensitive to this sort of thing, it could be a non-issue to some), their overall quality on par with the rest. Likewise, the DIY look of the covers is a bit odd, but ultimately quite irrelevant, so don't be alarmed by that.

Throwaway account.
I would like to ask for help in possible scenarios and what other people think is more likely.
So I (35M) have been/was with my girlfriend (33F) for over a decade. Maybe once every year or two she would out of the blue say she was breaking up (sometimes wouldn't say anything and just take everything and disappear) and would disappear. The last time she said it was last year but she didn't disappear but became really distant. So it has been improving, and just this weekend everything seemed fine until Monday when she suddenly disappeared for a few hours late at night saying she was busy which is very unusual as she usually sleeps quite early, she responded to my texts briefly and seemed genuinely busy with work. Then on Tuesday she said she wanted to break up but wanted to remain friends (I asked if she had found someone else and she was genuinely surprised or acted so, this is important), so I was obviously devastated but after some short talks it seemed like she might have room to stay in the relationship or at least consider not breaking up for sure, though it seemed likely she would.
That isn't the important part, she was supposed to go on a training trip today for over a week so she was busy packing her luggage yesterday. On Monday I asked what time her flight was so I could make sure I was free to drive her to the airport and she said that I didn't need to (which was where I got really suspicious that something was up as I basically almost always drive her to the airport or any far away place/when she is transporting lots of stuff). Then yesterday when we were talking I said I'd like to eat with her before her departure and then drive her to the airport and she went oh that's good we can eat near my business (which she just opened several months ago) so I can check up on my business before I go. So we had arranged the time today that I would pick her up to go eat then check on her business before going to the airport.
Then this morning when my alarm woke me up and I checked my phone I saw a text message from her that was a few hours ago saying that she had to arrive earlier and that she just arrived at the airport. My first thought was that she just wanted to avoid me so I was sad but understood why she did it, however I then checked the rest of my notifications and saw that the plane ticket and hotel was cancelled so now I'm seriously concerned as she had been planning this training trip for a long time. Also when I dropped off some stuff for our dogs at her place I saw that the huge luggage she packed yesterday was still at home.
So now I'm concerned about if she is actually safe, and would like to ask anyone for their view/perspective to see if there may be something I'm missing or didn't think of.
The reason why I am concerned about her safety (whether safe from herself or others) is because she has been acting really weird the past few days which understandably so if she was just going to break up with me. However she had cancelled all of her appointments yesterday and this morning because she said she had a bad stomach ache (probably stress) which is very unusual for her as she is usually very hard working, the last time something similar to this happened was a few months ago when she had a mental breakdown and was about to blow up her business, clients and industry acquaintances. She also contemplated about taking her own you know (I think I can't say the word on reddit? or was that somewhere else). I eventually got her to calm down and I hope she moved on and she did seem to recover. But I'm not sure if that was all an act (should be because she generally can't act for an extended period of time as I would generally pick up on things when the inconsistencies became too frequent).
Second of all she had basically deleted all of her social media a few days ago too and when I asked her she said there were too many weirdoes approaching her and adding her and talking to her. When I asked her how could random people add you on one particular social media platform as you need to confirm their request before they can even talk to you she said I dunno I accidentally accepted them (this is why I thought she was with someone else at first along with some other stuff when she said she wanted to break up but when I listed out all the reasons she genuinely sounded surprised) it sounded really weird but after asking a few times I didn't ask more because after the first few questions she will shut down generally.
A few days ago she also removed all snacks and beverages from her business as she was afraid of getting sued which I thought was weird but understood the risks if someone got food poisoning from something you provided however unlikely as those were prepackaged items. The thing that concerned me was that she said someone told her that it's not safe but she wouldn't tell me who which was weird as she would usually say the name even though I would have no idea who it was. (Another reason why I thought she may be with someone else)
She also has some documents of mine that she was supposed to hand over when she arrived at her destination which is quite time sensitive (which she collected late last night and asked for them which I found weird as I was going to give it to her today) so she would not purposefully sabotage work related stuff.
So I'm concerned that something happened to her, whether it is another breakdown, blackmail or something. If she didn't have this trip that she planned extensively for a while which she suddenly abandoned along with the scrubbing of a lot of business related stuff (her personal social media that is private is still up just all public social media has been scrubbed) and her past breakdown I would just think that she is avoiding me or is with someone else, which is still a possibility and is actually the one I hope is the case. I'm afraid that it's something else and she is either in danger to herself or from someone else (could just be me panicking cause this situation is so weird). I'm on here to ask if anyone else has any ideas that I may have missed because I'm contemplating about going to the police (not much they can do if she just disappeared on her own with no outside interreference) but fear that I may be taking too drastic an action if in fact she is just avoiding me/with someone else and is totally safe.
TLDR: GF of over a decade broke up with me and disappeared. However circumstances makes me question if she is just avoiding me or is she in trouble.

Flat our we lost because of turnovers. We could have been up by 6 or 8 at half if it wasn't for the dozen turnovers. The rest of this is part rant, vent, and personal opinion/observation.
Cons first cuz this is a vent.
Kyle Anderson is worthless. He might get some steals and turnovers, but he can't do anything with them. Use Monte Morris or someone who acts as a second or third threat from the arc with edwards and Townes. Then they can't just double edwards all game.
Gobert never should have came back at all. Why was anyone thinking that would be a good idea. Has anyone ever been a new parent before? He took time to be there for the birth, which means he is there helping with the baby and getting maybe 4 hours of sleep a night. He isn't going to be 100% after that, and why risk it? Game 2 proved we didn't need him. Gobert needs rest and we need to win game 6, don't let him play. He had zero affect on Jakovic and can't hit free throws to save his sons life.
We put zero effort into stopping Jakovic tonight other then letting him walk all over Gobert. In games 1 and 2 we had constant pressure from an outside man assuring he didn't have time to lolligag and play with his feet. Someone would have been swiping at the ball taking it away while preventing a passing lane. Tonight we all stood around the arc waiting for passes that never came to double players that never needed it. When he had as many points at half as the rest of his team we should have come up with a plan for that.
Gordon seems practically useless other than someone who slams the boards, something we haven't been doing aggressively since game 2. Why don't I ever see more than 1, maybe 2 wolves attacking the boards. If we could stay more constituent with inside protection and blocking passing lanes it would solve both Gordon and Joker.
Defensively, while we looked good when attacking the ball, but we only looked 75%, no doubles, no crashing boards, no cutting off lanes or going for takeaways. Games 1 and 2 the best part of our defense was the takeaways, aggressive defense and effective offense. We haven't been playing that same level of aggressive defense since macdaniels got his 3rd foul 5 or 6 minutes into game 3.
Pros
Townes played much better, hopefully he plays like that on Thursday or were toast.
Most of our bench shot much better overall, we just didn't find enough opportunities and committed a lot of sloppy turn overs all game. Bad passes, rushed hero-like charges to the basket (Townes). The offense was most effective early on by moving the ball around and not forcing edwards to make plays but to find him open. It exposed the lack of movement in Denvers defense. They put up a good wall in the paint, but are not good at keeping up with where our guys are when everyone is moving around. This was also obvious in the first two games and something we have struggled with these last 3.
At times our defense was a thing of beauty again, and most of the game they kept us in it. We lost because of turnovers flat out. We lost the ball randomly so many times from mishandling and we can't afford to do that. At half they mentioned how we had 12 or 14 turnovers but were only down by 6. Had we not had so many turnovers we could have been up by 6 or more easily. Most turn overs came from one guy trying to make something our of nothing when he should have kept the ball moving. Something we showed we can do and did for the first 1/3rd of this game.
My opinion (stop here if you dgf)
We need to find a way to make edwards effective so Townes can play at a more relaxed pace like he did the first 1/4 of this game. We need to make them pay for doubling edwards. Use naz reid and your other guards to make 3 other threats at the arc for him to throw too. I feel like the best answer to joker is double him with Townes and Reid, they did fantastic in game 2 against him. And use NAW and Macdaniels to keep Murray ineffective while edards is keeping an eye on Gordon ready to at least box him out if needed or swing to the wing to cover from the double. That's what we did in game 2 and it obviously worked really really well. Besides that as long as the bench can shoot effectively I think we still have a chance to win this series.
TLDR: Turnovers is why we lost. Kyle Anderson sycks offensively and doesn't present tenough of a threat to be on the court, Morris would be better. Gobert should be sleeping I'm between feedings, not screwing this up for us. We didn't even try to figure out joker or Gordon by crashing the boards or causing any kind of interference. But, Townes did play better, and so did the bench, but too many turnovers didn't allow enough shots to take any kind of commanding lead. We know what we have to do and did it for awhile. Defense can play great but that doesn't matter if the offense keeps giving the ball back. All in all I still think we can win if we go back to what we were doing in game 2.