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I have been thinking about this a lot and I cannot tell genuinely if I am overreacting or not Tldr; best friend went outside after club and disappeared for about 15 minutes
A couple of my teammates and other sports friends went out clubbing after our event that day to a club about an hour away from where we all usually stay. These other people that went with us were from out of town, coming in for the sporting event.
The night goes great we leave about 30 minutes before the club closes (1:30am) and a few of them are hungry so we find a pizza place that's open late. It is a major college town and a Saturday night, so the place is pretty full and packed by the time we get there.
My best friend (who is from out of town) started complaining that she wanted to go back to the club and why do we even have to be here at the pizza place. I told her I really didn't want to stay out much later and that the other people wanted to get pizza and I also wanted to see the place for myself if I ever wanted some in the future. She kept going on and on about wanting to go back to the club and how she wanted to go have more fun and how the pizza place was stupid and how we don't even need pizza in a whining fashion. She had agreed that the time we left was fine and didn't indicate she wanted to stay any longer at the club. I told her to get over herself and I'm happy she had fun and didn't want to stay in there but we'll be driving home in a minute. I will admit that I shouldn't really have told her to get over herself because she was pretty drunk and she just wanted to continue to have fun, and I get that.
I try to move myself and the group off to the side so we weren't in the way of the other people in line. The other people we were with got their pizza and I look around did my best friend is disappeared. She's just nowhere to be found, Not in the bathroom of the pizza place and not in the lobby itself or the seating area. I asked one of the girls that was with us if she knew where my best friend went and she told me she said "she was going outside for a minute" I head outside to see where she is and she is GONE. I check around the corner, NOTHING. I get really concerned because we're in a college town and there's a lot of people walking around now that the club is closed and it is also 2:00am. I call her phone, NOTHING. I call again, and nothing again. I called her four times with no answer.
So I texted her "WHERE ARE YOU!?" And she responds "I was outside". I say "Where". No response. The rest of the group starts to get concerned. We're outside looking for her and don't see her anywhere.
One of the guys in the group call her and she picks up. Apparently she went to go somewhere to throw up. I don't know where she threw up, I don't know when she actually left to do that. The group walks down the block to see if we can find her, and she's not there. There's an alley we took pictures in so we stand by there hoping she's around somewhere, and nothing. We checked both sides of the block where the pizza place was and she was nowhere to be found. After about 10 to 15 minutes we finally see her walking back from down the block.
She gets back to us and I'm just happy she's back, but I'm just so frustrated at the situation that I don't say anything to her. She's got her arms crossed and she has an attitude. We get back to the elevator at the parking garage and I asked if she's okay and she has an attitude again saying "No, get those fucking pizzas away from me I can't be around the smell"
We all get back to our cars and she goes walking off, again to throw up I guess but she didn't do it because I was watching her the whole time, but this time I can see her walking away so I don't say anything. One of the other girls we were with follows her, I felt like such a bad friend not doing anything but I felt so frustrated in that moment I'm very thankful for the other girl being there. When they both came back to the car, I offered her a plastic bag in case she had to throw up again, which she tossed to the side.
They all come back to the car and we leave. She falls asleep on the way home and so do the rest of them in my car and I'm just left with my music and the thoughts. Was I a bad friend? Why didn't she trust me enough to say anything to me before disappearing? Why did she answer someone else's call so quickly and so easily declined mine? Am I no longer her best friend?
We get back to the hotel and she goes in just fine. I use the bathroom, come back out and she's just standing there. I say good night to them all, she says nothing. I just leave. She got back home fine. Haven't heard from her since but I saw it on her Snapchat location.
I know it's embarrassing to throw up after too many, but could she at least have let one of the group know? This is how Dateline starts! I feel so sad. I feel hurt. Am I overreacting?

Barely standing and gasping for air, Nathan takes a moment to stop running and realizes he has no idea where he is going. He begins looking around to see if there’s anywhere to hide or even, hopefully, find food or at least water. After a moment, he finally spots a few buildings in the nearby distance. With high hopes, Nathan sprints past the remaining trees ahead and makes it to the buildings. Only one specific building catches his eye. A large sign that reads GROCERY stares at Nathan from the top of the building. Without hesitation, he rushes inside and much to his amazement, there are aisles! Nathan quickly but quietly scans each aisle. Sadly, he sees nothing. Not until he sees a small pile of snacks lying next to a fallen end cap at the end of an aisle. Excitement dances through Nathan’s body as he runs to the food and begins eating it like a wild animal. He devours every ounce of food he finds until he suddenly hears an unnerving sound. Listening closely as possible, Nathan hears the sound of cracking bones and ripping flesh. Afraid, yet curious, he looks around the corner of the aisle and spots the legs of a woman lying in her own blood and entrails. Upon further inspection, Nathan sees what he believes to be the creature he and Charlie had seen before. It’s a large thin four-legged animal that most likely was a wolf at one point but is now just a beast. It’s feasting on the entrails of the woman’s corpse and refusing to take its taste buds away from its food. That is until it hears Nathan, who accidentally steps on a bag of chips. It swiftly averts its attention to Nathan and the sight of its face is terrifying. Its face is half torn and its eyes show exactly how bloodthirsty it is. With blood and entrails dangling from its teeth, the beast fully turns its body to Nathan and lets out a deep and disturbing growl. Believing this to be his final moments alive, Nathan backs up and stumbles into the wall with his eyes closed and fists clenched. He is ready for the reaper to take his soul. The beast closes in on him and readies itself to charge its prey but is suddenly distracted by the voice of unwanted company. “Heel, you stupid mutt!” It’s once again Subject Zero, who is this time covered in large amounts of blood. The beast diverts its attention to Subject Zero and prepares for a fight. Unsure as to why Subject Zero didn’t just let the beast kill him, Nathan, stands and stares in terrified confusion. As Nathan watches, Subject Zero is attacked by the beast after a failed attempt at taming it. Directly after its attack, the beast is grabbed and bashed against a wall then thrown to the floor. The animal, no longer looking like a beast compared to Subject Zero, stands again and viciously sinks its teeth into Subject Zero’s arm but its life is soon ended. With a large and swift pull on the animal’s rear legs with its teeth still bore into Subject Zero’s arm, its body rips apart and its entrails fall out onto the floor. “I knew you were a waste,” Subject Zero says with disappointment in his voice. Nathan quickly snaps back to reality and runs out the nearby emergency exit. No longer caring about hunger or thirst, he just keeps running and doesn’t stop even when he stumbles from exhaustion. Inevitably, any hope he once had, is lost when in the not so far distance he hears, “Just because the mutt didn’t kill you, that doesn’t mean that I won’t!” Still running further into the woods, Nathan begins to stumble. He finally stops and falls to his knees as he begins to believe he is going to die here. He falls onto his back and lies in the grass around him while releasing a long but relaxing sigh. Nathan can feel the cold hard ground beneath him as he looks up to the sky. Filled with raging guilt and regrets, Nathan stares up to the sky in silence. It gets so silent, he can hear everything around him. He hears the wind sing through the leaves of trees. He can even hear water flowing nearby. Water! Unsure of where, he looks up quickly and listens. Finally, he spots a creek nearby and climbs to his hands and knees. Unable to fully stand, Nathan crawls his way to the creek ignoring all of his surroundings. He reaches the creek and practically bathes himself in the near freezing water in an attempt to feel refreshed. Afterwards, he begins to guzzle the water in handfuls. After many handfuls of water, Nathan notices something odd. The water tastes metallic as if you were sucking on an old copper penny or silver spoon. Upon this realization, he also notices the color of the water seems off. Unsure of why, he looks around only to find something far more disturbing than he imagined. An amalgamation of mutilated corpses sit nearby rotting on the rocks of the creek shore. Realizing he had just drank water contaminated with rotting corpses of innocent people, Nathan starts getting a sick feeling in his stomach and attempts to look away but can’t get his eyes off the sight. Finally breaking, he begins gagging vigorously. He loses control and starts puking uncontrollably before ultimately collapsing from pain and disgust. Nathan finally gets up after lying on the ground for a moment. Hoping to find at least some form of shelter, he manages to get himself up to his aching feet and stumbles his way down the creek. Eventually, he reaches the end of the creek where a large pipe is sticking out from the ground at an angle. The pipe, being large enough to fit a man, seems like a perfect place to shelter in. Before fully deciding to sleep there, Nathan looks inside hoping that it may lead to an exit from the dome but is quickly disappointed when he sees only dirt and mud. Nathan no longer cares and decides to climb into the pipe. He manages to make it an adequate resting area. Soon after, he is unable to keep his eyes open and finally falls asleep. “Nathan, wake up. You’re going on live television.” A very familiar voice whispers to Nathan. He opens his eyes expecting to see different surroundings, but instead, he sees Charlie sitting next to him in an unfamiliar building. Obviously confused, Nathan hesitates to even move but decides to go with it. He’s led out to a room with a male interviewer, revealing that he is on a live television interview. The interviewer looks to the camera and says, “Welcome to TalkTime, I’m your host, Tim Wiesly, and today, we have Nathan White. Just in case you don’t know, Nathan is a brilliant reporter and reports anything in the most brilliant ways. One specific story he covered about his near-death experience is what we would like to talk about today. So, Nathan, could you tell the viewers more about your experience?” Nathan hesitates at first but oddly starts believing that he made it out of the hell he was in and just dissociated. He starts telling the interviewer everything that happened to him. “Well, Tim, for starters, my colleague and I had found evidence that Envirodome was a test facility. Little did we know, one test they ran there was still in the facility after decades. We then found all the missing people over the years but they were unfortunate and passed away at the hands of the facilities test subject. I eventually lost my colleague and had a run in with a rabid animal as well but I got away and managed to find a place to sleep. After that, I climbed out and decided to… to…” Nathan stops in his tracks as he realizes he can’t remember what happened after the tunnel. “Wait. Wait, this can’t be real. I vividly remember Charlie going insane. And all those other people started losing their minds and they all started killing each other. I remember all that, yet I can’t remember a damn thing after falling asleep in that tunnel! What the fuck is going on?” Charlie comes running out and attempts to calm Nathan but fails as Nathan screams back. “You’re dead! You’re fucking dead! I know you are! You aren’t real. None of you, none of this! None of it is real!” Soon after realizing everything is fake, all of Nathan’s surroundings start changing. Everything around him becomes morbidly dark and people become mutated corpses, all of which walk over to him. They all start screaming at Nathan, resulting in him breaking and he loses his mind to the brink of insanity. Out of the dark shadows, Subject Zero walks into the area as if he were a dark god who created him and was ready to destroy him. Suddenly, everyone surrounding Nathan abruptly stops screaming and looks at him. Then they all in perfect sync say, “You’re losing control, Nathan.” Nathan angrily stands tall and yells, “Leave me alone!” After this fierce scream with his eyes shut, Nathan suddenly hears nothing but the sound of running water. He opens his eyes only to find he was still in the town under the dome. Only, now, it is somehow nighttime. Suddenly, he’s startled by the sound of splashing water. Nathan quietly looks up from the inside of the tunnel he’s lying in. In a decent distance away, Nathan sees two mannequins throwing multiple bodies into the already corpse-filled creek. Although, one body stands out amongst the rest. Charlie's. His body is mangled and mutilated. Nathan feels sick and guilty as he stares at his dead friend. Soon, Subject Zero’s voice is heard, resulting in Nathan realizing he needs to sneak out of the area. He quickly climbs out of the tunnel and looks around. He decides his best option is to go in one direction until he hopefully reaches an edge of the dome. He believes it may help him reach the overseer’s office where the self-destruct button is. With his new plan, Nathan quietly sneaks away until he accidentally rams into the edge of the dome. He becomes angry at first for being dumb enough to run into it, but eventually realizes he could be on his way to salvation. Nathan, still tired, stumbles around the edge of the dome and looks strange considering the walls are simulated to look like more land. Even though Nathan can barely handle all the stress, he still forces himself to keep moving with high hopes to avenge his deceased friend. He keeps going until he stumbles over a small brush pile. He falls onto his face and notices blood pouring from his nose. Assuming his nose has broken from the fall, Nathan quickly checks it but oddly there is no pain and the bleeding has already stopped. He’s confused but doesn’t care as he’s determined to escape. He gets up and eventually reaches an odd looking spot of the dome wall. With a closer look, he realizes it’s a door. Full of hope, Nathan quickly opens it and discovers a staircase leading to the overseer’s office. Nathan runs up without hesitation. He reaches the top of the stairs and makes it to the controls. Being dark, Nathan feels around for a light switch but as he thinks it, the lights come on. Now with light, he sees papers lying everywhere, all with information of the dome. Apparently, the government had the technology to make all this without ever letting the public know. It was built with a self-destruct button as safety measures if anything within the dome went horribly wrong. Although Nathan thought it would be an explosion as most self-destruct buttons cause, the dome was made to disassemble itself as it counted down, allowing the slight possibility of reaching the only entrance and exit doors of the facility. Nathan realizes he may actually have a chance to escape this hell and avenge his friend. After a small pause, he gets back to searching for the self-destruct button. He stumbles across a glass casing labeled ‘FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY’. Nathan opens the casing and prepares to press the button but is quickly distracted as a voice breaks the silence. “This place hasn’t been real after all these damned years?” Subject Zero reacts angrily as he slowly walks toward Nathan. “I knew this place seemed a bit small, but now that I know I can get out of here, I’ll bring my tests to the whole damn world!” “Why would you even want that?! Every single test you have done with that fucking serum has been a failure!” “No… No, I’ve perfected my serum.” “What the FUCK do you mean?” Without a single other word, Subject Zero rushes toward Nathan. Nathan quickly reacts and raises his arms in defense. Suddenly, Subject Zero flies backwards as if he was shoved with incredible force. They both now know Nathan was the cause. “That. That is what I mean.” Subject Zero says with a grin on his face. “No, no, what the fuck. How?!” “You really think I didn’t take the opportunity to inject a new version of the serum into you.” “But- but there wasn’t an injection hole. Everyone else had one.” “That’s the great thing about it. I perfected it so much that your healing is far greater than even mine AND you didn’t lose your mind like I did. That’s all I ever wanted…” “Screw you…” Nathan clenches his fist and swings a punch at Subject Zero. Realizing things move just from his thought now, Nathan opens his hand and telekinetically throws things at Subject Zero. The two begin to have an all-out super powered brawl as Subject Zero explains to Nathan that the serum is why every pain he’s felt while in the dome went away nearly immediately. The telekinesis just happened to come into play later on. Then suddenly, Nathan is slammed through and out the overseer’s office windows. Subject Zero jumps down onto him. Nathan gets weaker with each hit he takes but still fights on. Before he gets up, he notices that where the broken window is, the walls show their true colors of concrete gray and glass. Aside from the window, Nathan notices the door to the office is still wide open. He quickly gives Subject Zero a powerful kick to his abdomen and jumps up to run. Nathan runs quickly up the stairs and to the self-destruct button after leaving his enemy on the ground outside. As he reaches the button, Nathan looks out the broken window at Subject Zero and prepares to press the button. Nathan slams his hand onto the button as Subject Zero yells out in hatred. Nathan, expecting something to happen, waits. Subject Zero laughs hysterically but then suddenly is cut off by a loud voice projecting across the whole dome. “COMMENCING SELF-DESTRUCTION SEQUENCE.” Nathan notices Subject Zero is distracted and uses this as his chance to escape. 10, 9, 8…… The countdown begins and the sun begins to rise as Nathan runs out of the office and past the unaware Subject Zero. 7, 6, 5…… The countdown continues and the facility begins to collapse as Nathan passes through the woods where he drank from the creek and soon passes the concrete room where the other people were held captive. 4, 3, 2…… The countdown gets closer to an end as the dome collapses quicker and Nathan rushes past the old house he was stuck in before. Soon enough, he gets onto the road that led him and Charlie to the town inside the dome and gets even closer to the door but suddenly Subject Zero is following behind. This time, he’s so angry and determined, Subject Zero uses his telekinetic powers to control the mangled corpses that he’s kept. He’s headed for either the door or Nathan, but Nathan doesn’t care. 1…… The countdown comes to an end and the entire dome collapses above. Subject Zero, far behind with his army of corpses, stops and accepts what is coming but Nathan keeps running in hopes to escape before the weight of a million tons comes crashing down onto him. Soon enough, the dome becomes nothing but rubble. The entire area where the dome once stood, is now a ginormous pile of rubble and all that stands are a few trees and small bits of buildings. Nothing could have lived from inside. Unless you were close to the doors. Nathan, barely standing or even really alive, stumbles around the rubble. With his new powers, he uses his telekinesis to move a large piece of steel revealing a small group of men nearby. Within this group are a couple of men who are clearly scientists of some sort but the others are clearly military. Nathan runs to them with hopes of help but suddenly… “Stop right there!” One of the men yells out angrily but with a quiver in his voice. “Put your heads above your head and don’t speak!” “Wait! I just need help!” “I said put your hands above your head!” Nathan is confused so he looks around in the hopes that maybe Subject Zero is who he spotted. Sadly, the guns are all being aimed straight for him.

So to give a bit of background: I met my (23F) boyfriend (23M) more than 4 years ago. We were neighbors and became friends then fell in love and started dating. We used to stay up everyday talking, dancing at the park, and going on runs. I whole heartedly believe he’s my soulmate and he does too. We’re nearing our 4 year anniversary and it’s been great. We’re both very much in love, he makes me feel like I’m home and removes all of my anxiety. However 2 years ago he moved to a different country that’s 2 h away by plane to do his masters. So we’ve survived 2 years of long distance. The plan was that he’d move back after graduating but the past few months I kept getting the feeling that hes not moving back. Whenever I brought it up he’d get mad at me for pressuring him although I’d just ask questions like “how’s the job hunt going”. He finally said he doesn’t see many jobs here related to the career paths he wants but he is still going to apply to a few for me. He suggested we do long distance without an end date.
Let me start by saying that I am career oriented too and I completely understand that he wants to pursue his dreams. The issue is that I feel like he’s been taking me for granted and I don’t know if I can do long distance without an end date if he doesn’t show me that he cares.
There are a few reasons that make me think he’s taking me for granted: 1. When we started dating, he went into a phase where we didn’t spend much quality time and he’d be focused on studies and work. When I brought it up he said that’s just who he is. We got into a fight then he promised that he’d do better. It was confusing because he’s the type to surprise me with romantic little things. But it seems like he goes through these phases every now and then and id have to remind him. 2. During long distance, we almost broke up in the beginning because he didn’t know how to text, call much, and express his love through the distance. I felt very unloved and was so incredibly hurt over a few months. I kept asking for love and feeling like he doesn’t really love me. We worked through it and had a pretty healthy long distance where I lowered my standards of how much love I need and he worked on showing love. That lasted for a year ish 3. Now he’s graduating, for the past 6 months I felt like he was taking me for granted again and I just feel so exhausted from asking for love given how many times I did it before: he forgot Valentine’s Day, he stopped putting small notes in my phone when I travel back home (he used to do that), he forgot a celebration we do (once a year Id do a day filled with his fav things and he’d do one for me) even though I did it for him. After I mentioned that he forgot it he said sorry. I didn’t wanna make a big deal of it so I said it’s ok. He still didn’t make it up with planning something else. So I confronted him again and he said he didn’t think it was a big deal and still didn’t make it up to me. 4. He was on exchange in the US during my own graduation so he couldn’t make it but he didn’t get me a gift. I’m not big on expensive gifts, I absolutely love just a letter to show that you thought of me and express your feelings. Whereas now I’m getting him an expensive watch with his parents for his graduation 5. I mentioned 7 months ago that it’d be nice to exchange postcards or letters he said he’s gonna send me a letter. I opened my mailbox everyday for 3 months and reminded him like every week the first month then I mentioned it every month or so but never received anything.
All of this I didn’t say a word or get mad. But when he forgot the celebration day recently I blew up and mentioned all of these examples which happened over the past 6 months and I was so angry. I initially wanted to wait and see if he would do something by himself without me asking for love but that clearly wasn’t happening. His argument is that he gets busy and I get pushed to the back of his mind. He says that he still shows me a lot of love when we’re together in person and he still does cute things every now and then (which I agree). For example when I visited him during women’s day, he got me flowers and had heart shaped cutouts on the table. This example with how many things he forgot makes me confused on whether I’m asking for too much or is he really taking me for granted. We agreed that he’d prove to me that he cares until the end of the summer because that’s when he’ll be applying to jobs and decide where he’ll be
I’ve communicated so many times what makes me feel loved. I find it irrational to not be able to put a calendar alert to remember things like that. I just feel so lost and I can’t decide whether I can do indefinite long distance. I really don’t want to get played but I also don’t want to lose someone I love and loves me so much. Not sure if I’m overreacting or I’m being taken for granted.

For context, I am the male. I'll call myself "Tony", and my wife is "Abby"
My wife and I grew up together. We were high school sweethearts and got married right out of high school. We had only ever been with each other sexually. We both came from very conservative backgrounds. We are going 14 years strong.
Last Spring, after months of preparatory conversations, we both stepped out into the, what we at the time called, "swinging space". Hard to know what the exact term is and here is why. Why have (4) young kids, and often times could not go out to lifestyle clubs or whatever due to a lack of child care. So we would go out separately, more or less have one night stands or hookups. There was usually no meeting for dinner or activities or such. Usually just the hookup part. The only exception was maybe coffee if one party wanted to feel out the other person in a public and safe space. If we could find a couple or a unicorn, we would enjoy that together but it was always rare and hard to come by.
The last year or so has been really great. We have both had some fun experiences. Overall, this has been a great thing for our marriage. This is where the advice comes in.
Recently, I have met another women whom I have built a friendship with. We have a lot of similar interests and just seem to get along well. I grew up in a house full of women. Several sisters, no brothers, then mom and dad of course. Most of my friends in high school were women as well. Abby has become unsure / uncomfortable with the dynamic so we have been talking it out over the last few weeks.
I have no romantic feelings for this person. And in actuality, I don't find her compatible or interesting as a "wife" or "partner" at all. We do spend one or two evenings together a week, based on availability and schedules. Most of that time is spent watching a movie or something plus some sex depending on who is in the mood. As the person that is in the middle of it, it feels to me like the "gay best friend" that just happens to also like having sex with her.
Abby seems to be uneasy about the repetition of it. She doesn't seem to have an issue with any particular thing, whether it be the sex OR the friendship. But both makes her uneasy.
Rewind for a minute, when we were starting this journey (last year) into what we'll call "sex with other people", we started working with a sex and relationship therapist just as a way to help us navigate it. We both love our therapist and they have been really helpful.
Ok, back to now. I have put rules in place for my friendship with this person. Those are: 1. Keep any romantic feelings at bay. Which I have said on my end, there is none up to this moment. 2. No dedicated time commitment. Which means if I'm busy, it just is what it is. The other women does not have any priority of my time. 3. I don't spend any money on her. If we go out or do something, everything is dutch.
Wrapping up here... Our therapist pointed out that I / we are more officially moving into ENM territory and feels we need to set some boundaries and rules that suit ENM specifically, versus the rules we had in place for more ONS or hookup type situations.
*DISCLAIMER\*
THIS IS NOT A CHEATING SITUATION - Abby is fully informed of all of our hangouts and encounters. We talk about the sex, the conversations, and she has full access to my phone and all of my messages with this other person. Nothing is in the dark.
Here are my questions:

1. Is it considered ENM when there is no romantic elements with the other person?
   
2. Should Abby grant permission, and I continue with this friendship, what are some good boundaries to put in place that would make Abby feel comfortable that she is not being replaced?
   
3. Has anyone encountered a situation like this before? and do you have any advice?
   

Thanks for reading and any advice given!

Throw away account. This is also my first reddit post so I'm sorry if formatting or wording is wrong.
I just want to start with some context. I [31M] am gay. I also have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder.) I will be the first to admit that I can feel pretty heated if I think someone is doing something offensive that can be harmful to others. I know that there have been times where I've overreacted to things in the past, and I have been in therapy for years to help me get my emotional disorder under control. I want to say I have a pretty good handle on it now, but I know that there are still times where I slip up and let it get the better of me.
The next bit of context you should know is that this story involves my friend [24F] who I'll call Lacy. I met Lacy through her boyfriend [24M] who I'll call Steve, about a year and a half ago. From the moment Lacy and I met, her and I hit it off extremely well. She is an amazing person, the type who would literally give the shirt off of her back just to help someone in need. She can also get along with just about anyone. I consider her to be one of my best friends, and we even joke around that her and I get along better than Steve and I do sometimes. I literally call her my wifey, and she calls me her gay husband. Lacy and Steve have owned a Discord server together since shortly after I met Lacy, and I was an admin in it up until about an hour ago. This server is full of their friends, some of whom I am also friends with, and others who I don't know too well but get along with just fine. This group of friends is a bit of a mixing pot. Lacy is black just for some more context, but there are people of all different races, genders, and sexual orientations in this group.
On to the last bit of context here. There have been occasions in this server where I will be in one of the VC's (voice chats for anyone unfamiliar with Discord) and people have used some type of (what I consider to be) slurs in normal conversation. I have heard the r slur (the one usually used against those with intellectual disabilities,) the n word, both with and without the hard r at the end (the one used against black people,) and the f slur (the one used against people in the queer community.) Whenever any of these words have been said, it always leaves this knot in the pit of my stomach. I just feel like nobody should be made to feel bad about something that is out of their control, like with mental capacities, race, or their sexuality. I honestly hate confrontation though, because I definitely have trouble staying calm due to my BPD when I get worked up sometimes.
Now when it comes to the n word, while I am not comfortable with anyone other than black people using that word (even with a "hall pass" so to speak,) I typically don't say anything (I'm white btw) because that is a word that Lacy does not take any issue in other people using. If it were something I heard someone saying on the street, then I would absolutely call someone out for it. To her though, it's just a word, and that's just how her and her friends interact with each other. (They use insults as a form of showing love. Not really my thing, but as long as no insults are thrown at me, I could honestly care less how other people show their love to one another as long as it's consensual, lol.)
The problem arises when I hear the r and f slur being used. Typically in that group, if they find someone or something to be stupid, they'll use the r slur instead of just calling it/them stupid (And tbh, it's a word that is said a lot on the internet, not just in that server alone. Regardless, it's a word that has never sat right with me because I know that there are people out there who would use it as a way to insult and belittle someone, and I don't think that that's morally right. It's a word that I don't really like hearing.) Now with the f slur, I will say that technically it hasn't really been directed *at* someone in the server. It's mainly been when people are playing competitive games with people online and lose. They'll call their opponents the f word. I have called people out for using both words before, but it tends to be an "in one ear, out the other" situation because those words are still used despite being told they aren't really good words, although they aren't used *as often* as they used to be. I have mentioned in the past to Lacy that those types of words make me uncomfortable, and to her credit she has been really good about reaching out to the people who use them to have more in depth talks with them and to let them know how it can be offensive to others.
Okay, thanks for bearing with me on the context. Now onto the story:
A few nights ago, I hopped into VRChat to hang out with Lacy (think public or private chat rooms but with avatars in VR) She was hanging out with two of her friends (I'll call them Tony and Kate.) Now I had not met Tony or Kate before that night, but they seemed like decent people. Definitely fit into the "insults to show love" crowd that my friend Lacy likes though. Everything was going fine until Tony was talking to Kate and called her the f word. Kate dished it right back and called him the f slur back. That's when I got super uncomfortable. I did not know these people, I have no clue what their sexual orientations are, but from context clues through the night it seemed like they were into one another. I definitely did *not* get the vibes that Tony was interested in men at all, but again, not my friends, I don't know them well enough, so I bit my tongue. I logged out shortly after since it was almost time for me to go to bed anyways.
The following night, I was in the server VC with like 8 other people. Both Lacy and her boyfriend Steve were in there as well. Two of those people happened to be Tony and Kate, who I did not know were both in the server until that night (Again, it is my friend's server and she is allowed to invite whoever she wants, obviously.) We were all just kind of chilling and playing our own games while talking to each other, when out of nowhere, Tony calls Kate the f slur again. Now I'll admit, I was a tad tipsy at this point. I spoke up this time and basically said that that's not a nice word to use, that I'm not comfortable with it because people in my community have been targeted with that word. And there was silence after that. Neither Lacy or Steve said anything. Steve tried to distract me and change the subject, but I was so uncomfortable and pissed that I just kind of left the VC in frustration. I messaged both Steve and Lacy to let them know why I'd left and went to bed. I woke up and Lacy's only response to me was "I understand." I was still a bit upset so I messaged her back. (I'll copy and paste what I wrote to her because I'm not the best at paraphrasing. Names are edited for privacy):
"No, like I honestly don’t think you do. Because the other night in the movie world, both Kate and Tony said it as “insults” to each other, and I had to bite my tongue because they’re your friends and not mine. It’s a word that got used in my face time and time again whenever someone would push me “jokingly” in school before I even knew/accepted that I was gay. It’s a word that gets spat into gay people’s faces before, during, or after they get unjustly attacked or even killed simply for holding their partner’s hand in public. I don’t think you actually understand the weight that that word holds for people in my community. It’s literally the equivalent of someone calling a black person the n word with a hard r simply for being black. And the two owners of the server said nothing. Absolutely nothing after that word was dropped like it’s just casual conversation."
I waited all day for a response and didn't get one from her. In fact, I was still waiting until an hour ago when I decided to leave the server altogether. *That's* when my friend decided to message me. She asked why I'd left, then immediately called me. Talking with her, I found out that she did have a chat with Tony (okay, how was I supposed to know this if it wasn't communicated to me?) She never responded because she honestly wasn't quite sure how to. Because as the server admin, she was put in a bit of a bind. According to her, Tony's response was that that's just how him and his friend Kate interact with one another. (Side note, she doesn't know Tony's sexuality, but Kate it bisexual.) And now here's where I'm wondering if I'm the AH. Lacy reached out to not only some of the other people who were in the VC that night who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community, but also other server admins who are a part of the community as well. None of them seem to have any issue with the word at all. They also think that it's just a word and that it doesn't hold any power unless you let it. And while I completely agree with that sentiment, it's unfortunately not that easy for me to look at it that way. That word is a trigger, both from religious trauma and bullying in my past. So Lacy fees like her hands are tied, because I'm saying that it's an offensive word while others in the server are saying it's not that big of a deal.
So reddit, AITAH? Did I overreact? If no one seems to have an issue with it, then is this just my BPD making me think/feel irrationally again? As it stands, I have no intention of returning to the server. Regardless of my judgment, this is something that doesn't sit right with me, and even if I'm wrong, I don't want to go back and get triggered again, so for my own mental health, I know that staying away is probably for the better. I was just always taught not to judge others for their appearances, and that includes using words that could be considered offensive to others. But now I'm wondering if I'm overreacting. So am I wrong?

I have recently been getting back into star wars, watching the Bad Batch and Rebels in full, now on tails of the empire (I love everything imperial era) and will be going to Andor and Rogue One after. I have however, skipped the clone wars as I am pretty sure I know most of the important events, but would there be anything major I would miss by skipping this series, it's quite long which is what made me skip it, but I know all the story bits that effect the shows I have watched so far. Will I be missing anything major or amazing by skipping this show entirely, despite knowing alot of the major story bits?

Can't Find website to watch full episode of SpongeBob, can anybody help?

Hello there. Usually I post a full blown intro here but this time I will cut to the chase. I'd love to have some new friends to get into games or shows together with. Some of the games I am into are Magic, every card game ever, Minecraft, Stardew, BTD6, uh lots else. I have 600 steam games so probably everything to be played ever (please help me.) Shows I'm into right now are Walking Dead, Adventure time, all Dropout/Collegehumor content, but I like to watch streams and random youtube garbage. Anyways, if you're in a timezone compatible with PST and use Discord then hit me up if you have similar interests.

Hello there. Usually I post a full blown intro here but this time I will cut to the chase. I'd love to have some new friends to get into games or shows together with. Some of the games I am into are Magic, every card game ever, Minecraft, Stardew, BTD6, uh lots else. I have 600 steam games so probably everything to be played ever (please help me.) Shows I'm into right now are Walking Dead, Adventure time, all Dropout/Collegehumor content, but I like to watch streams and random youtube garbage. Anyways, if you're in a timezone compatible with PST and use Discord then hit me up if you have similar interests.

Hellooo!! Im just looking for a constant ka hang out or kausap na may substance naman kahit papano? Ket mag ululan lang tayo maghapon or Ket chismisan lang or kung ano mang mapag ttripan naten pareho 😅
About me:

• chubby, inked, maputi and wears glasses
• works full-time pero madaming time palagi
• loves to watch movies
• reads fiction books, tsaka anything na chismis or horror stories dito HAHHAAH
• madaldal ako soaper HAHAHA
• lives outside of PH

About you:

• nothing required physically
• yung mahaba sana pasensya and same vibes
• all caps maghaha
• prefers calls??? (Tinatamad kase ako magtype minsan) HAHHAHAHAHHA

DI KO NA ALAM BASTA ICHAT NYO KO! PASS MUNA SA MANYAKAN SFW LANG OYAT HEHE

I am a fan of Ben 10 a show featuring Ben Tennyson, the main hero who possesses the Omnitrix, a powerful device resembling a watch. The Omnitrix allows its wearer to transform into numerous alien species by utilizing an extensive DNA database of over a million aliens. This database is regularly updated by scanning and analyzing the DNA of new alien encounters. The scanning process involves molecular analysis, enabling the storage of genetic information from a wide range of species.
Because of this, I enjoy exploring different alien species that Ben could potentially transform into, and the Star Wars universe is full of them. However, I have encountered a problem: many of the aliens in Star Wars do not possess any inherent powers and are simply unusual-looking creatures.
For example, I initially thought that Wookiees, such as Chewbacca, had super strength, but it turns out they are only slightly stronger than human athletes. Additionally, some of the more interesting species in Star Wars are non-sentient, making them unsuitable as candidates for the Omnitrix.
One possible exception in the Star Wars universe is the Force-sensitive beings. The Force is a mystical energy field that grants various powers to those who can harness it. However, the Force is not tied to a specific species, which complicates its inclusion in the Omnitrix’s DNA database.

Some weapon enchantments (Rueful Axe, Mace of Molag Bal) are somehow weaker if I become a vampire. The only mod conflict I can think of is between Fangs of Oblivion & Sacrosanct
Unofficial Skyrim SE Patch
Simple Workaround Framework
Just Shields (on Back)-AE Edition
The Great Cities-Resources
Environs Master Plugin
Aldmeri Anti-Mage
Katja the Thief
JK's Solitude Outskirts
JK's Solitude Outskirts & Save the Icerunner Patch
JK's Solitude Outskirts & CC Fishing Patch
Survival Mode Improved
Cheat Room
Telekinesis Arrow Added Fix
Decorator Helper
Debug Menu
Save the Icerunner-Lights Out Alternate Routes
Improved Companions-Questline Tweaks
(USSEP) More Radiant Quests for the Companions
Volkihar Knight-Vampire Armor
Xavbio-Volkihar Knight Patch 1k
Lunar Guard Armor-1K (Vanilla)
Freyr: Integrated Standing Stones of Skyrim V1.2.0
Sacrosanct-Vampires of Skyrim
Volkihar Knight-Sacrosanct Patch [XB1]
Growl-Werebeasts of Skyrim
Ordinator-Perks of Skyrim
Apocalypse-Magic of Skyrim (SWF) Optimized
Apocalypse-Ordinator Compatibility Patch
Odin-Skyrim Magic Overhaul AE (SWF)-with Summons Redone and Fixes
Odin-Ordinator Compatibility Patch
Triumvirate-Mage Archetypes (SWF) Optimized
Tonal Architect (SWF) Optimized
Summermyst-Enchantments of Skyrim
Reprisal-Schism the Pieces Fit Edition
[Patch] Summermyst (on Back and On Left)
Mage Robe Enchantment Improved
Fangs of Oblivion-A Daedric Artifact Overhaul
Imperial Rewards
Khajiit Caravan Guards-Lunar Guard Armor Patch
A Dance with Diverse Dragons 1K
Paradise Weathers Community Bundle
Divergence-Luxuriant 2-Green Lush-1K
No Grassias Ultimate by Knight4Life
Landscape Fixes For Grass Mods
Complimentary Grass Fixes
Vampire Lord Overhaul: 1k Kynreeve Red Glow Armor_New Hair_Red Runes
Vampire Lord Overhaul-Sacrosanct Patch
Magical Forces & FX Bundle-Full
SMIM Chain Meshes Only
Skyland Bite and Bobs-A Clutter Overhaul
Sigils of Skyrim-Banners
Daedric Shrines-AIO 1K
Divergence-The Philosopher's Property-512
Elaborately Opulent Textiles
Xavbio's Retextures AIO (with CC) 1K
Xavbio's Mesh Add-Ons AIO 1K
Ebony Armor Recolor (Gilded Ebony)
Companions Dialogue Bundle
Dialogue Expansion-Shor's Stone
Dialogue Expansion-Riften
Dialogue Expansion-Khajiit Caravans
Immersive Khajiit Caravan Mules
Mannaz-Integrated Races of Skyrim v3.0.1
Bella Beauty AND THE BEASTS Bundle
UHD Dawnguard Vampire Eyes
Echoes of the Vale
Fortified Whiterun
JK's Whiterun Outskirts
JK's Whiterun Outskirts & CC Fishing Patch
JK's Whiterun Outskirts & CC Tundra Homestead Patch
JK's Whiterun Outskirts & USSEP Patch
JK's Whiterun Outskirts & LFFGM Patch
JK's Whiterun Outskirts & Fortified Whiterun Patch
JK's Windhelm Outskirts
JK's Windhelm Outskirts & CC Ebony Plate Armor Patch
JK's Windhelm Outskirts & USSEP Patch
JK's Riften Outskirts
JK's Riften Outskirts & CC Wild Horses Patch
JK's Markarth Outskirts
JK's Markarth Outskirts & CC Fishing Patch
Strongholds-Mor Khazgur
Strongholds-Dushnikh Yal
Strongholds-Largashbur
Strongholds-Narzulbur
Ilinmere Tower
The Great Village of Kynesgrove
The Great Town of Karthwasten
The Great Town of Shor's Stone
The Great Village of Mixwater Mill
The Great Village of Old Hroldan
Solitude Clock Tower
JK's Castle Volkihar
JK's Castle Volkihar-CC Fishing Patch
JK's Fort Dawnguard
Obscure Scholarship: The Obscure College Bundle 1K
Obscure's College/CC Patch Bundle
JK's Interiors AIO
JK's Interiors AIO/Fishing Patch
JK's Interiors AIO/USSEP Patch
JK's Interiors AIO/Obscure's College Patch
Ryn's Dragon Mounds AiO
Ryn's Farms AiO
Ryn's Standing Stones AiO
Ryn's Standing Stones-Ryn's Farms Patch
JK's Riften Outskirts &Ryn's Farms Patch
JK's Windhelm Outskirts & Ryn's Farms Patch
Environs AIO
Hero-A Fort Takeover and Bounty Hunter Bundle
JK's Skyrim AIO
JK's Skyrim & CC Fishing Patch
JK's Skyrim & CC The Gray Cowl Returns Patch
Pets of Skyrim-JK's Skyrim Compatibility Patch
JK's Interiors AIO/JK's Skyrim Skyrim AIO Patch
Daedric Shrines AIO-JK's Tempe of Mara Patch
Fortified Whiterun-JK's Skyrim Patch
Wintersun-Faiths of Skyrim AE (SWF)
Mannaz-Freyr-Wintersun Patch
Word Walls Relocated
Thunderchild-Epic Shout Package Optimized
JK's Interiors AIO-Thunderchild Patch
JK's Skyrim-Thunderchild Patch
Skyland AIO
Serendipitous: Rewards of the Weary Traveler
Serendipitous-AE Patch
Valravn-Integrated Combat of Skyrim
Legendary Dungeons: Dwarven Delves
JaySerpa's Quest Expansion Bundle
JaySerpa's Quest Expansion Bundle/USSEP Patch
Civil War Quest Immersion Bundle
Civil War Armory
Alternate Start-Live Another Life
JK's Solitude Outskirts & Alternate Start Patch
JK's Markarth Outskirts & Alternate Start Patch
JK's Interiors AIO-Alternate Start Patch

I had a match today where a guy used a shield backpack, and I didn't think much about it. However, when I died and watched my teammates' POV, I saw two heavy devastators blast this guy at full force from behind, and it didn't break. I swapped to his POV and saw that his shield energy didn't go down. I typed, 'Nice bug, bro. How did you do it?' He left the macth and his username was Makima.

Evidently, there's a Norwegian and French version (dubbed), but I watched the USA version; supposedly the Norwegian version is better. Plodded through the USA version, despite the odd pretty face. Full of holes, couldn't tell the difference between being filmed in color, or black and white, half the time.
https://youtu.be/pkv3OC_Enio?si=AV3jfX4mYh6eUQKT
https://youtu.be/XtqaU33GukU?si=tU4ZXOPXTt-xzY76