We've got an appointment next week and will hopefully get her some allergy meds, or anything else she needs, to clear this up with the big guns. But she's been itchy and overgrooming for a few days, possibly just anxious too ever since we moved last month. She does seem to like the new place, but it's still a big change from our old house. We're still in the same town though so it doesn't seem to be like a major reaction to a climate difference or anything. Could also be seasonal/springtime allergies, but she hasn't had this problem in past years.
As of today she's got two spots on the back of her neck that are slightly bleeding, not actively running blood at all but she's scabbing herself up for sure. Been trying to just comfort her and gently discourage all the scratching and licking, but there's just no way I can get her into the vet, or any vet, sooner than a week from tomorrow. I get paid in a few days, so I took the soonest appointment they had available.
I know places like Chewy have all kinds of topical remedies but I'm really hesitant about medicinal stuff without talking to the vet first. Hoping for something more on the...playing it safe side? I read coconut oil might help soothe ichy skin and be calming, so I may try and buy some of that today. But any other safe remedies or techniques that aren't risky without a prescription, just to get her some relief and hopefully try to prevent these booboos getting worse would be deeply appreciated. Here's the specs and more info for context, link to a photo at the end (not super gorey or anything, but a wound pic nonetheless).

• Feline
• Age: 4+ years
• Female, spayed 2+ years ago
• Calico (tortie and ragdoll mix)
• Body weight: about 8lbs, she's honestly a little cubby for her structure, we're working on it but she's extremely stubbon about food and will only eat the cheap junk kibble. Tips on this would be appreciated also because I'm sure it doesn't help anything, but she absolutely will not touch any wet food of any kind, she'll eat around it or abandon her bowl and cry. If I mix in healthier dry food she also somehow eats around it. She doesn't even like any form of human food, fresh/cooked fish, or even cat treats. We've been playing this game her whole life, and the highest quality I've gotten her to eat is Purina. She will straight up hunger strike. Ideas?
• Clinical signs: Overgrooming, scratching, licking, nail biting
• Duration: Worsening over the past 2-3 weeks, only more severely in the past several days, small wounds showed up today. No dandruff or parasites that I can tell. She is dewormed regularly.
• Your general location: Southern USA
• History: Other than the food thing and her recent scratching/overgrooming, not much. She's always been a sweet good baby, likes to whine for attention and gets the zoomies sometimes but she's overall a great cat, affectionate, 50/50 independent and demanding, like the best of em. She's not cool with baths though, so the oatmeal thing sounds like a last resort to me, she'd be piiissed. I'd do it if we had to, just... cautiously, and probably walk away with a few scars of my own. But she's still the best. My partner is allergic to her and they're her favorite person ever, so they're really close regardless. We used to have dogs but both passed away in recent years so she's the only pet in the house. She's strictly an indoor cat, 0 wilderness survival skills to speak of. She's had fleas a couple times before but we always kicked them easily, and I worried that might be the case but so far no sign of fleas whatsoever.
• Additional, possibly unneccesary history but... : Mom's the tortie, and has MUCH worse overgrooming/scabby tendencies, medicated for allergies but it's hit-or-miss if her meds work. This is the first time my girl has had this problem. Also her dad was most likely a stray, we think a ragdoll, I've had them before and he was very much textbook ragdoll, and my cat has roughly half that personality type. She was conceived during her mom's one and only 24 hour escape. The ragdoll fella hung around for a while afterwards, mom started getting fat, my former roommates and I put the pieces together...
• Don't have any vet info or test results yet, but will update next week after we see them! For now, a picture of the couple of bad spots on the back of her neck

Thank you for any tips!

Hi All. I comment quite a bit on this forum because I want to be/stay involved as much as possible. So I’ve been through in-patient, medical detox 3 times in a row over these bottles. Once I left the final detox, I got to have a month’s supply of suboxone which is the only medication that has truly helped me and my cravings. However, where I live there aren’t many doctors who feel comfortable with prescribing suboxone. So, I left my prescription run out thinking I would be ok without it after a month. I lasted 7 days until I finally caved in. While on suboxone I didn’t have cravings at all. In fact I would feel nauseous and get headaches just thinking/remembering what taking Feel Free was like. Then out of nowhere it hit me like a ton of bricks. This was a month and a half ago. I started out with just 5 bottles but now I’m back to having 12+ a day. I am so in debt that I have panic attacks just thinking about how I have no money and will never have money again. I have hurt my relationship so much that my boyfriend and I are having relationship ending fights at least twice a week now. My skin is terrible and so dry that I leave dust everywhere I sit, lay down, or where I change my clothes. How embarrassing. And I should know better. Again I’ve been through in-patient detox 3 times to get off this shit. And now here I am not even 2 months later trying to get back into a detox that will accept me. I’ve felt depressed, hopeless, and worthless before but what I’m feeling now is so much stronger and sadder than that. I knew better than to use these things again. I knew all about the consequences as well as the lawsuits. As a recovering alcoholic, I knew that meetings were a better choice than to buy these things. But I still made, and keep making, the stupid decision to buy these things. I tried to be strong and go cold turkey a week ago. I didn’t make it and have relapsed harder than before. I look like death. I have dark circles under my very dry eyes. My skin looks worse than before no matter how much lotion I use. My hair that’s already been so damaged from my alcohol and previous Feel Free addiction looks terrible. My hands and nails seem like they’ve aged 20 years overnight. No energy whatsoever, deep depression, and just tired. I am finally reaching out for help again. I know that the only way I can succeed is if I do in-patient treatment/rehab again. As much as I absolutely hate rehab, I know that this is better for everyone in my life in the long run. I don’t want to see my amazing boyfriend look so sad and defeated whenever he sees me. He deserves better. I really can’t put into words how angry I am with myself for relapsing. Why is it so fuckin hard to let these go? (Sorry for cussing) Why can’t I find euphoria in other things like reading or writing like I used to? I was not perfect but over 10 years ago no one could even get me to have one drink. I was extremely sober, mostly because I had a mother who was an abusive addict my whole life. I didn’t want to be her-I still don’t. But here I am, almost 40 and living my life exactly like how she lived hers. Hell I was buying them back when they didn’t label the kratom on the bottle. I could get a box of them for $75-80 because they weren’t popular and were pretty cheap. Now everywhere I go sells them for $10 per bottle. That’s insane! It’s insane I will keep forking out that money for them too-maxing out credit cards and begging for money off my boyfriend. I’m such a loser.
I do know that coming to this group has made a huge difference for me. Before I found this group I thought I was the only one who was addicted to these things. The support and wisdom of so many of you has impacted me in a way that no rehab or therapist has been able to. One day I hope everyone is off this shit. I hope the company Botanic Tonic goes under and that the owner loses all suits against him. But mostly, I hope that all of us heal and move on and away from these things.

Does anyone else’s face get super itchy? I’ve only been on spironolactone about a week and a half. I started noticing my skin wasn’t getting as oily on Sunday—in fact, it’s dry and it gets itchy. I have to apply lotion 2-3 times a day. I’m attempting to drink more water. The constant urination started today, also. 🙃

Hi, I started taking inositol for my pcos and i noticed itchy skin, muscle twitching and tingling toes and fingers after taking it. I got the Carlyle myo- d chiro brand. Anyone have the same experience? I’ve seen so many vlogs about its benefits and im frustrated im feeling this way.

Been buying modafinil online for more than 9 years now. Throughout this time, I have interacted with many Modafinil vendors. While there were a few bad encounters, the bulk of my intersections were positive ones. If my experiences can benefit others, I am delighted to share them!
Through countless conversations with sellers, and occasional instances of getting cheated, I now possess something that I wish I had possessed in the past: a compiled list of trusted vendors.
Essentially, it is an invaluable compilation. If this proves helpful to you, kindly consider upvoting or sharing your own firsthand encounters in the comments section.

Best Vendors for Buying Modafinil Online Reddit

Below, you'll find my curated compilation of the top 15 Modafinil vendors on Reddit, based on personal experience:

1. Modafinia
2. BMO™
3. Sharkmood
4. Buymodafinilonline
5. HighStreetPharma
6. ModafinilXL
7. BuyModa
8. Skinorac
9. Kuikdose
10. BuyEtizolam
11. ModaPrime
12. ModafinilUSA
13. ModafinilUK
14. DaffyDog
15. Quickfinil.

1. Modafinia
In my viewpoint, this vendor stands out as one of the finest. With their extensive experience in the field, they have established themselves as a reputable entity and their pricing remains highly competitive.
Over the years, they have established a robust and consistent reputation. The only small concern pertains to the efficiency and promptness of their customer service, which tends to be extremely slow or unresponsive.
2. BMO™
BMO is a relatively new player in the market. I have been making purchases from them over the past few weeks, and the experience thus far has been exceptional.
They are the first online vendor to provide prices that are more affordable than Modafinia. Their customer service is exceptional, with incredibly swift responses.
It is truly commendable and I genuinely hope they continue to operate for a long time more.
3. Sharkmood
One of the few vendors with a rich and extensive legacy. Their long standing track record attests to their dependability, albeit at slightly elevated costs. It may be beneficial to consider paying a slightly higher amount for the added sense of reassurance.
4. Buymodafinilonline
When it comes to their marketing strategies, those involved in spamming are often referred to as "spam kings."
On Reddit, there is a significant amount of testimonials and mentions them, possibly indicating their involvement in persistent guerilla marketing initiatives.
I can envision the influx of emails from HighStreetPharma that will likely flood your inbox once your email address becomes known to them.
5. HighStreetPharma
HighStreetPharma (HSP) used to be widely recognized as the most renowned platform on the list, offering an extensive selection of products. HSP has been in operation for a long time.
The previous purchase I made from them did not reach its destination, and attempting to establish communication with customer support was almost impossible. In the end, they completely ghosted me.
6. ModafinilXL
In terms of marketing strategy, the vendor who has the widest reach is the one I've consistently found to be the most expensive.
As far as I can recall, ModafinilXL has been in operations for as long as BuyModa and HSP. Consequently, it may be worthwhile to consider paying a slightly higher price for the added assurance and peace of mind.
7. BuyModa
This is the origin of the bothersome Moda Mike. Additionally, as one of the early leaders in the Modafinil market, they have focused solely on offering Modafinil and Armodafinil items, along with a limited selection of medication for treating erectile dysfunction.
Based on my personal encounter, the package that was sent to me never reached its destination due to being held up by customs. No attempts were made to resend it.
8. Modadove
Modadove may have higher pricing compared to others, but for individuals who are willing to pay a little more for the assurance of genuine products, it could be a worthwhile choice.
It serves as a luxurious alternative for those who appreciate premium products and are willing to pay. Consider them as the premium option for purchasers who prioritize quality over cost.
9. Kuikdose
Kuikdose maintains a low-profile yet dependable reputation. They refrain from extensive advertising, and instead, have garnered favorable online reviews for their reliability.
They resemble the unassuming participant who demonstrates their value through dependable contributions.
10. BuyEtizolam
This particular platform places its emphasis on addressing anxiety and sleep-related concerns like Narcolepsy, whilst also providing options for Modafinil and Armodafinil.
Renowned for their exceptional service and product excellence, it is worth noting that their prices may be comparatively higher than most vendors. It is worth taking into consideration if you are already buying Etizolam from them.
11. ModaPrime
It is important not to be overly swayed by their seemingly affordable pricing, as there is an additional shipping charge of $35 USD.
Their website is simple and uncomplicated, providing a limited selection of Modafinil products without any extravagant features.
12. ModafnilUSA
Being the sister site to ModafinilXL, ModafinilUSA prioritizes swift delivery within the United States.
However, the allure of prompt shipping is somewhat diminished by their costly pricing strategy.
On the other hand, I am encountering enthusiastic reviews about them all over the place.
13. ModafinilUK
For fast delivery within the UK, ModafinilUK is the preferred choice, surpassing competitors such as ModafinilXL in terms of speed and timely deliveries.
Although their prices may lean towards the higher end, their true worth lies in the promptness and dependability of their service.
Ideal for individuals seeking expedited and reliable modafinil availability without any hassle.
14. DaffyDog
DaffyDog presents competitive pricing and appears particularly appealing for individuals seeking to purchase Modafinil in the UK.
Despite being a relatively new player in the market, they demonstrate prompt responsiveness to inquiries, ensuring swift and dependable shipping services.
If you desire consistent and reliable service in the UK, this is an excellent option to consider.
15. Quickfinil
Their primary focus is on efficiency and speed, hence the name. Their pricing is reasonable, establishing them as a reliable option for obtaining Modafinil expeditiously in the UK.
Ideal for individuals who require their order urgently and value prompt assistance from customer support.
16. Skinorac (Bonus)
Although not specifically classified as a Modafinil vendor, this online pharmacy nevertheless accommodates a diverse assortment of products. If you find yourself in need of potent skincare medication, you will know exactly where to turn.

Guidance for Individuals New to Modafinil

The legal status of Modafinil

Typically, the possession of Modafinil is not a cause for concern, unless an excessive quantity such as 10,000 pills is discovered, which may raise suspicions.
However, unless you are involved in the unauthorized sale of Modafinil, I am not aware of any legislation, in any country, that could lead to your arrest for simply possessing a small quantity of Modafinil pills.

Potential Adverse Reactions

While the chances are highly unlikely, individuals afflicted with an uncommon skin condition might possibly encounter the emergence of a rash resembling minuscule protrusions throughout their entire body.
In situations like this, where the condition can be greatly severe and distressing, it is crucial to promptly seek medical help.
Throughout the documented usage of Modafinil, a mere six individuals have encountered this particular skin condition, suggesting that it is not a significant cause for alarm.
Commonly encountered side effects encompass migraines, disruptions in sleep patterns, increased levels of anxiety, and possibly sensations of queasiness and gastrointestinal unease.
Apart from disruptions to my sleep patterns, I have personally not encountered any of the aforementioned symptoms.
Nevertheless, there have been instances when a mild headache ensued as a result of sleep deprivation.
Based on my personal observations, I have come to realize that I only experience headaches when I go without sleep for prolonged periods lasting up to four days.

Conclusion

In my view, the most arduous aspect of using this cognitive enhancer is the struggle to maintain a proper and consistent sleep schedule.
In order to minimize the extended duration of action of Modafinil or Armodafinil, which can extend beyond 8 - 12 hours, I make an effort to take them as early in the morning as possible.
By following this approach, I am able to maximize the advantages of Modafinil throughout the daytime, while ensuring restful and consistent sleep at night.
That concludes this post. I hope it was helpful to someone.
Please inform me if you are aware of any additional Modafinil suppliers that you believe should be included on the list or have been overlooked.
Let's build a great community and space together!
[Last revised on October 5th, 2024]

I could really use your help 😭
Can anyone relate or answer:

• Did you tolerate BC so poorly you had to stop it as a protocol midway? If so was that cycle cancelled?
  
• Did you develop severe physical reactions to combo estrogen BC pill? Did they go away? Did stims after make it worse?
  
• Did you develop HBP during stims that required medicine?
  

36F, 35 BMI, PCOS, hypothyroid, iron deficient (just finished infusions last month), unexplained infertility.
Day 5 of BC, on Nylina - I've never tolerated estrogen well but went into this hopeful, was on mini pill the last 12 years.
Since starting, the expected side effects: worsened tinnitus, feeling warm all over, rhr increased from 68 to 73 daily avg, nauseous, diarrhea, headache, dry mouth, psoriasis flare on my ankles and started out with dry feeling skin.
But then these unbearable leg symptoms began. My legs feel like fire ants are crawling on them or like an allergic reaction if that makes sense. I have really sensitive skin and it's like someone washed my pants in scented detergent. I get twinges of pain, they feel heavy and achy, restless legs so I couldn't sleep.
I went to my PCP this morning, had a stat ultrasound on both legs, no DVT blood clots in either leg 🙏 PCP thinks this is a reaction to the meds and a lower dose might be beneficial (currently on a 1/35 pill). I'm glad no blood clots but I'm worried about what's causing such severe symptoms and my BP (usually 120/78, this morning was 129/84 and this afternoon was 134/78) that maybe it's a pressure issue? Watching this currently.
Clinic is saying I have to be on an estrogen pill, can't switch & take my mini pill, can't do a lower dose, and tried calling in a different generic of the same med that the pharmacy refused to fill tonight saying that it's the same med and insurance won't approve it, but regardless they don't have it in stock and would have to order.
Other than calling the clinic again in the morning saying I really can't do this, any other insight or suggestions? They said to try the new pill and if not tolerating after a couple of days we could discuss? Stims (300 gonal f and 150 menopur) are currently supposed to start 5/21 and I'm terrified.
I asked my clinic at the start about modified natural and what not, it's not their preference and the nurse said in subsequent ERs we could discuss BC but that doesn't help me right now, unless I cancel I suppose... Or if I'm just noncompliant and skip tonight or some doses. 🤦‍♀️
Cleared to take magnesium and unisom tonight so going to try that at least.
What would you do?
Thanks to anyone with anything to share 🙏

Hi everyone! I'm a 22 y.o. female that was just diagnosed with hypothyroidism. My TSH is 5.5 and my free T4 is 0.83, so subclinical hypothyroidism (I guess?). My doctor started me on 50 mcg of Synthroid which I've been taking for about 5 days. My symptoms were excessive fatigue, constipation, and dry skin. I also experience a pretty high rating heart rate which seems contradictory, but I'm not sure if it's related to hypothyroidism or other conditions (anxiety, PSTD, and OCD). I'm not sure if this is a placebo effect or not, but since starting Synthroid I've struggled quite a bit with insomnia, particularly staying asleep. I'll wake up after about 3 hours and be dead tired but not able to fall asleep. I'm expecting it to go away once my body adjusts but curious if anyone else experienced the same thing. Does anyone have any advice on being newly diagnosed? What should I expect in the future? I'd also love an explanation of the difference between subclinical hypothyroidism and regular hypothyroidism. Thank you in advance!

Hi, my 31st bday is next month so im planning on hiring an escort but i still have some doubts and fears, especially about being robbed or getting an STD, so i want some advices. Here's a little backstory: i'm a 30 year old virgin, kissless, dateless man, never had a girlfriend, lover, friend with benefits, a fling, one night stand or any kind of intimate relationship with a woman, the only few women i dared to ask out in the past rejected me (2 of them as a teenager and 2 others in my 20's), i stopped asking out women after that, i just lost the illusion i guess, the reasons? they never told me, but i believe it is simply the fact that im ugly faced (hooked "roman" nose, full lips, weak jawline and small chin), so my profile is disgusting, my height is average (1.77cm), white skinned, dark haired and dark eyed. So i dont have self confidence or a healthy self esteem to keep asking women out and i've never had "game", i just don't know how to seduce a woman, never knew, and honestly my "i want a girlfriend so bad" phase is done and buried, seriously, i really DON'T want a girlfriend, i just want sex, that's all, casual sex, without romantic feelings, but as an ugly and kinda introvert man that is like an impossible mission, it won't happen, never happened in my youth and it wont happen now, waiting for an opportunity is not an option anymore, i lost a lot of time and i want to make it up now in my 30's, so im TIRED of waiting, i want my virginity to be taken by a professional hooker, i want to learn everything a man my age should know, at least in the sexual field, so what advices can you give me? has anyone here been with a hooker or hookers before? how was it? how to deal with my fears?

Yo guys,
Lately there is something that is triggering my skin whenever my mother walks past me.. We don't know what it is, but it is getting my skin dry and i have a few red itchy pots every time she comes near.
Do you u have any tips on how we can deal with this?
I wonder if air filters would help, but i's not sure when it comes to the skin.
There are two moments when i get triggers:
1.. When she gets close to me:

1. When I walk through the house i smell this smell in most rooms.

It's getting a bit difficult to live like this.

I have been treating my Lyme and unknown co infection, with this Vital Plan thing by Rawls. And most of the symptoms of herxing I'm familiar with but I've been getting really itchy and irritated skin with seemingly no cause. Has anyone else had anything like this? Any input would be appreciated.

I have had red itchy small vesicles around my thigh area, feet and hands for a while.
Didn't think much of it at first but as the itch became unbearable about 2 weeks ago I started scratching, at first we (my roomie and I, (29 and 25 y.o respectively) thought these were scabies, we had a problem a few months back but it passed after we used a sulphur mix cream she got from the hospital.
So I was thinking maybe mine just wasn't treated probably but now I don't think that's the case, the closest thing I could find online that resembles what mine look like is dishidrosis, not scabies because the marks aren't in a line which would suggest burrowing, and the dishidrosis itself probably came on from some sort of fungal infection, explaining the pustules and itching on areas other than my hands and feet.
My friend had itchy hands and feet prior to me for a while too, but she said this happens to her every year and she sheds a few layers of skin too so I don't think this was transmitted by her.
I'm sorry for the erratic thought train that I'm writing here but for the last 2 nights my dumbass decided to put wood ash and water mix to my thighs and legs, the places where I had scratched and fucked my skin up the most, and i can genuinely say that i know what being tortured feels like now.
But I persevered because I was thinking it was good for me. Until the second night (the night I'm writing this) I just woke up after going to sleep an hour ago. Before going to bed I had rubbed the ash, waiting for an hour for it to do it's thing, took a shower with warm - relatively hot water, rinsed my lower body before leaving the shower with cold water and then went to sleep sizzling all over but no itches... (I didn't use any shampoo/soap just in case)
I just woke up with a tremendous amount of heat from my lower body (places that reacted the most to the ash), I couldn't contain myself because of the burn/itch/sharp pointed pain from my pores where I have the vesicles/scars, if I get in the blanket the fabric rubbing against my skin + warmth kills me, if I put my leg out it feels like goosebumps all over and everything hurts again.
I got up, put on some primrose oil cream on the parts, now it feels a bit better but I'm afraid this won't go away, and I'm afraid I don't know what the fuck is up with me
I have never had any condition like this before in my life.I couldn't go to a doctor because I don't have insurance right now and no money either.
I can share photos with you guys in DMS if you're interested in helping out.
Please.
Note:
First night with ash cream hurt less (still genuinely torturous, and the redness around the dots seemed to have gone, and the vesicles shrunk.
Second night with ash was much worse in terms of pain, and after waiting the same amount of time and cleaning, the pustules or the pores I guess, now are very much exaggerated, everything got bumpy.
I'd say the pain was an 8 on the belle Browne pain scale due to my shaking.
Some ash is still stuck to places where I had scratched my skin the most, if I scrub it in any way to take it out, I might even faint from the amount of pain, so I'm currently waiting for it to dry and fall.

Yo guys,
Lately there is something that is triggering my skin whenever my mother walks past me.. We don't know what it is, but it is getting my skin dry and i have a few red itchy pots every time she comes near.
Do you u have any tips on how we can deal with this?
I wonder if air filters would help, but i's not sure when it comes to the skin.
There are two moments when i get triggers:
1.. When she gets close to me:

1. When I walk through the house i smell this smell in most rooms.

It's getting a bit difficult to live like this.

Hi!
30 y.o female History of autoimmune disease. Currently on hydroxychloroquine 200 mg 2 x a day, high dose of vitamin d once a week, and prednisone as needed(5 mg)
Back in January I started to get some really concerning symptoms. Lots of shortness of breath, racing heart, itchy skin, horrible migraines and lower back pain. I’ve also been experiencing a lot of weight loss (60 lbs in the last year and no changes to exercise or diet, I have never just dropped weight like this)
I get labs done every 3 months by my rheumatologist. Back in April my urine test showed my protein/createnine levels were high at over 900. After that she ordered an albumin/createnine urine test and that was also high with albumin at 51 and createnine at 114.8. I was referred to a nephrologist at that point.
The nephrologist did another albumin/createnine test and my albumin did go down but was still high at 30.9 and my createnine went up and was 124.5. He ordered a kidney ultrasound as well but that was normal. My EGFR is normal as well, as are all my other labs. The only thing that is high is my C- reactive protein which has been rising for the last year, and dsdna antiboty positive showing inflammation in my body.
I am just at a loss of what could be going on. I assume my albumin/createnine wouldn’t be high for just no reason? But the ultrasound of my kidneys is normal. I see the nephrologist next week but figured I’d take a shot in the dark and post here and hope someone can tell me what other kinds of tests I should push for, or what could possibly be the cause of all this. Thank you!

i've noticed this after a long while, but most days i'll wake up feeling less impending doom than usual and then as the day crawls along i begin to feel worse and worse. most of my symptoms are mental ( i.e severe brain fog, intrusive thoughts, anxiety etc ) so its fairly easy to notice when i sense them getting worse. it tends to hit its peak in mid afternoon. i also notice in the evenings that i feel a slight bit calmer, and i don't know if its because i'm tired and my body is preparing for sleep or what. my main physical symptoms are joint aches, fungal acne and flaky skin, fatigue and a pounding fast heart rate ( along with breathlessness when doing very simple things ) and those also tend to fluctuate but to a less noticeable degree from the time i wake up onward.

Hi all I recently learned that my vitamin D level is low and I have had a rash that kind of resembles hives for a while now. My skin is just really itchy and then these bumps appear. I am wondering if this could be related to the vitamin deficiency.
Thank you !!

I am exhausted. I wrote last night and I wrote today and I feel like I could just melt into the floor. Not to mention all the trouble that the hail caused that I had to deal with and the fact that I had to write my last letter to you twice. This is going to be a short one.
I wrote from 10pm to almost one in the morning. I didn't even realize I was writing that late. I was writing at 11pm, I looked down for a split second, and suddenly it was 12:50 a.m. Then I stayed up a little later, both because mother found a bunch of spiders in her room I had to take outside and because I wanted an hour or so to myself just to decompress. I'm really paying for that today.
In total, I wrote around 615 words last night. It was cold and rainy today so I stayed inside and actually got to spend the day writing rather than working in the garden. I didn't even feel tired until 4 p.m ran me over like a truck. I wrote around 437 words before a nagging headache I still haven't shook off took me down. I'll try to write ore tonight. i'm so close to being done this chapter. In total, chapter four spans from page 120 to 190. Christ, that's 70 pages; I might have to break it in half but for now, I'll worry about that later.
I could write more to you, but my energy, if you couldn't already tell from all my complaining, is finite. I'm going to make myself some coffee then hopefully I'll perk up enough to finish this chapter. Finally.
Yours & Mine,
S.O. Skinner

So this is a long one. Like, I'm going back over it and damn. This is longer than I thought it would be. Throwaway account, I've only made one other post to this relating to what's going on. Instead of updating the other post, I figured I'd make a separate one about the whole shit show I experienced, and the shit circus I uncovered and avoided. I'll try to keep this in as chronological an order as I can.
As the title says, my abusive/narc mom and pos/delusional/golden child brother started trying to reach out to me a few months ago wanting to make amends and build bridges with me again. There were a few people that commented on my previous post in another subreddit that may be a little disappointed in me for how I handled this, and a few that might enjoy that I handled it the way I did. Someone commented to not let them use my good nature. My nature is dependent on who I'm dealing with, and when it comes to that side of my family, I'm more stick than carrot. So their attempts did not go ignored, and did not go unpunished.
Growing up, I was always closer with my Dad than my mom. My brother was the epitome of "pampered mamma's boy". He started having seizures as a child and was diagnosed with epilepsy, which I thought was why my mom babied the absolute fuck out of him long into adulthood. He would go a year or 2 without any seizures, and then there would be a few months where he'd be having them every other day. At Anytime he got in trouble at home or school, my mom would find a way to blame me, for not making sure he knew whatever he was doing would get him in trouble, or she would blame my dad for not being "involved enough in their baby's life." My dad was in the Navy and I remember any time he'd deploy, I'd dread every day until he came back. My brother would taunt me that he knew whatever he did, I'd be the one to get in trouble for it. My dad would always make things up for me when he got back from his deployments though. We'd often have weekend trips just the 2 of us. And then around my 12th birthday, my mom insisted on sitting us all down and explain to that she and my dad were getting a divorce. We got the whole talk about how they still love us and they just can't be together anymore, etc. my dad told us both that he still loved us and he would be there for us whenever we needed him. He explained that he would be moving out, but he would be by to pick us up to spend the weekends with us. I was nervous and honestly scared of what it would be like without him. But I was looking forward to the weekend when I got to see him again. That never happened though, and that was the last time I ever got to see him.
Right before his weekend with us, my mom explained to us that my dad didn't want anything to do with us anymore. There was some news story about a father that killed his kids when he had custody of them and she used that to terrify my brother and convince him that our dad wanted to kill us to start his life over. We left damn near everything behind and moved in with my mom's brother in Florida (from Virginia) a couple days before my dad was supposed to come get us. After that, she went to great lengths to make sure we had no contact from him.
Years went on, my mom seemed more indifferent towards me than ever. She never seemed interested in anything I did unless my brother also seemed interested in it. She didn't show any interest in my wanting to learn guitar until my brother also showed interest in it. Then we got one guitar that we had to share, I'd take lessons on the condition that I taught my brother whatever I learned in them. My brother eventually wound up breaking the guitar and I was blamed for not storing it in the case it came with. I had to share my N64 with him whenever he wanted to play it. I was playing perfect dark one day and having a hard time killing the skedar leader at the end of the game. My brother burst into the room saying he wanted to play his MegaMan game, to which I just replied "give me a minute, this boss fight is hard, once I'm done you can have your turn" He didn't like that. He left the room and came back with a hammer and smashed the console while I was still playing. My fault for not letting him play it. The only thing I had that he could not use was a pair of roller blades my aunt got me for my 14th birthday. I specifically asked for roller blades to get around instead of a bike because my brother and I had different shoe sizes, so he couldn't wear them Because of constant shit like that, I never really put much value in having things growing up. I didnt want to buy something or get something as a gift just to have it fucked up in a few weeks or months. At some point, my "little" brother became the larger one, so my clothes all became "hand-me-ups" as he outgrew everything. So, because I didn't really have any distractions at home, I turned into a high achieving student, rarely got in trouble. made the honor roll all throughout school. But that wasn't something to celebrate as it was expected of me. I had long since decided that I was moving out as soon as I could once I turn 18. I got a job working at a Walgreens as soon as I could and started saving up for a car. My mom however took issue with this and would never agree to take me looking for one and absolutely refused to ever have it put on her insurance. This is where my Aunt comes in. She and her son are the only 2 on my mom's side that aren't some sort of degenerate. She had her son young, but put herself through college while raising him alone and eventually got her MBA and a cushy upper corporate job. She told me to tell my mom I had to go in to work on one of my days off, that she would pick me up and she would take me car shopping. So that's what we did. I couldn't quite afford a cash car, but she helped me with the financing. I put down what I had as the down payment, the arrangement she made with me was that 1- as long as I was in school, she would cover the insurance and payments for me, however, if I got into an accident, I was responsible for paying the deductable. And 2- as long as i was living with my mom, the car remained in her (Aunt's) name. And if anything happened to it, to let her know so she could get the appropriate authorities involved. My mom was PISSED when she found out I now had a car. Her reasoning (that she said in front of my aunt) was that she didn't think it was fair for one of us-either me or my brother- to have something the other couldn't use. Due to him being 13 and having epilepsy, he couldn't drive, so why should i have a car if my brother doesn't? That turned into a long shouting match between my mom and Aunt that basically ended with my aunt explaining that since it was her car, and all paperwork on her name, I was just on the insurance for it so I could drive it. But if anything at all happened to it while I was living at my Mom's, that the police and insurance companies would get involved. My mom still kept track of all the miles on the car to "make sure I was only going to work and school and wherever she told me I could go". Most of the time, when I hung out with friends, I wasn't the one driving. From that that point though, my mindset was very much "keep my head down and nose clean until I can leave." I graduated a month before my 18th birthday. After graduation, my mom and i got into an argument about me contributing to her bills. I eventually dropped the ball that I planned on getting back in touch with my Dad and leaving. She started laughing. Something about that laugh made me really uncomfortable. She then said "well, you can certainly meet up with him whenever you want! I'll supply the gun if you buy the bullet!" And told me my dad had died when I was 15. That. Fucking. Broke. Me. Later that night, i called my best friend and vented everything to him. He was in the DEP program for the Navy and would be shipping out in a few months, he told me to come by first thing in the morning and talk with him and his parents about the whole situation. I basically packed up all of my clothes and left the day after my 18th birthday. I just left my house key and a note that said "I'm not your problem anymore." I couch surfed for a little while until after my best friend left for boot camp, then I was able to move in and live with his parents (chosen parents basically). My only real rules were keep the house and my space clean and make sure I had a job and/or going to school. I spent a few months mourning my dad and kind of in a haze. Since he was in the Navy though, that meant I was reliable for financial aid for school. My second dad helped me get everything put together to start receiving that so I could start college.
Well, after a couple years of this, my brother, who had spent his time at school more as "forced socializing" instead of learning, was expelled from public schools for allegedly setting off a fire extinguisher in a classroom. He had to enroll at an alternative school called "the drop back-in academy" that was specifically for dropouts or anyone that got the boot from the public school system. My mom reached out to me and asked me if I would drive him to this school in the mornings, she'd pick him up in the afternoons, and she'd pay me $20 a week.I agreed to it thinking this was out of character for her, but she surprisingly held up to that agreement. I drove him for a couple years until I was ready to start my bachelor program. My second parents were getting ready to move back to their hometown and I was going to start school on the other side of the city. So, I was moving to that side of town and couldn't really drive out of my way to pick up and drop off my brother anymore. He continued his enrollment at this place for another 3 years (5 years total) and it turned out, he was never attending. I would drop his ass off there every day and he'd just walk home immediately after I pulled out of the parking lot. He'd just tell my mom that he finished his work early and decided to walk home instead of wait around for her. One afternoon, I'm coming home early from work and my brother is just sitting on the steps to my studio apartment. He tells me that he and our mom got into a really big argument and he needs a place to stay. I (reluctantly) let him in. I'm stuck thinking he must be really desperate if he's coming to me for help. But I start thinking at this point, he's 24, jobless, and probably needs to learn some self discipline and responsibility, and our mom just never did that for him. So I try to help. I ask him what their fight was about and he tells me that he started dating this girl at his alternative school. She was 21 and got the boot from the school system for being too old to attend (we actually have several relatives that were kicked out of the school system for the same reason) and that he accidentally got her pregnant and our mom did not take kindly to that. I called my landlord and explained the situation to him. He was okay with it, so I let him crash on my couch for a little bit (until the end of my lease, then I'd be moving) and just told him to clean up after himself, take care of himself, etc until we could all work this out. He crashed there for a few months and did Jack shit. He would complain that I didn't have a computer for him to use (I only had a laptop I bought for school) and I didn't have any video game consoles for him to entertain himself with. So he was stuck there bored all day. I got tired of the complaining and lack of effort and told him he had to go back to our mom's if he wasn't going to be an adult. We started shouting at each other until he dropped this little bombshell. He yelled "I can't go back to Mom's!" And when I asked why, he just blurted out "because it's to close to that elementary school!" That stopped the whole thing. "And why is that a big deal now?" I asked him. I already knew why that would be the problem, but 1% of me was holding onto the hope that he was got jumped by a gang of 5th graders and the trauma was too much for him to bear. I told him he could either tell me what's going on, or I could make a phone call and get every last detail I needed. He confessed that he had been leaving that school and going over to his "girlfriend's" house and waiting for her to get home. And that one day, her mom ended up catching them in the act. I explained to him that he was leaving out important details if that was the reason he couldn't be near a school.
He told me she was 14, not 21. I. Lost. My. Shit. Everything after that is kinda fuzzy, but he was arrested, mom posted bail, and since she lived right around the corner from an elementary school, he couldn't stay there. So they told his parole officer that he'd be staying at my address until his court date.. his PO had swung by a couple times, but I was always either at work or school or out somewhere. At this point, I told him the lease was up in 6 weeks, I couldn't stand to be around him. I packed my stuff early, moved out into a storage unit, and I stayed at an extended stay hotel until it was time for me to move. Called my landlord and told him what was going on, and if my brother was still there the last week of the lease, nail him for trespassing. My landlord was a good guy. I never had any problems with him. I paid up the last 6 weeks and threw him since extra cash for his troubles as I knew I wouldn't be getting my deposit back. That was the last time I saw my brother. After I moved out of state, I cut all contact with everyone in that family except my Aunt who was the only one that ever helped me out or even had my back. But even then, it was just through email. We'd mainly email birthday and holiday wishes to each other. Updates from my side on how life and career are going.
I never had a myspace or a Facebook growing up. I either never had a computer to check it on, or I was just so accustomed to not having any online distractions that I just never got around to making one. I did finally make a Facebook and I did get in touch with my dad's side of the family and reconnected with them. I hadn't seem most of them since I was 4 or 5. Some of them had been in contact with my brother (he fucking knew our dad died) and was spinning some sort of web about how he graduated high school early, had gone to college for pre-med and then got some sort of full ride scholarship to some prestigious medical school in Florida. He told them I wasn't on social media because I had been arrested for selling drugs and that he was taking me in after I got released. He was also using my senior portrait as a profile pic. They were surprised when they saw me and how I "looked just like my brother!" I had set the record straight. They looked dumbfounded when I told them that he couldn't get himself out of the 9th grade in 10 years, and now would likely never complete his high school journey due to the fact he can't be within 100 yards of a school.
So, fast forward to last week. I checked my email for the first time since late January (for my aunt's birthday) and noticed a few from her saying my mom wanted to reach out, then several emails from a new address. It was my mom's first initial and last name. Subject lines usually read "please respond" and "let me know you're okay" and stuff like that. I'd copy some of them over, but holy shit this is already a novella. Basically she got my email address from sneaking my aunt's phone (aunt did not sell me out). She's trying to apologize for how she treated me growing up and trying to excuse it by saying I reminded her of my dad and then she was going through menopause and just any excuse to dishes full accountability it seems. She acknowledges that it was wrong to hold me accountable for my brother's fuck-ups but dismisses that by saying he didn't know any better and she needed me to be a good role model for him. Things have been hard for her since I left, since she "had" to take my brother back in (I would've left him on the street or in jail), she had to sell her house (she was only 10 years into her mortgage) and buy another smaller one further from a school for him. He never did get a hs diploma or GED because how can he? And she's been going through breast cancer treatment for the last several months and just doesn't have the energy to take care of her 33yo baby anymore. She asked me if I lived close enough to them to take him in for a little bit while she focuses on her health. I left Florida 8 years ago and haven't even lived in the same time zone in 6 years. She can only check her email at work since she no longer has Internet at home. She had to cancel her home Internet service because of him. So, I decided to just put my brother's name into a search bar and the first thing that pops up is a FDLE sex offender's page. And holy shit has he gone downhill. He had a second arrest when he was 27 for the same thing, and then was caught in communications with another girl (like Chris Hansen sting) and was released from prison at the beginning of the year. And the mugshot.... You know the pale lady from the scary stories to tell in the dark movie? Think that, but with a patchy beard. Beady eyes, bad skin and all. According to the sheriff's office inmate search, he's been arrested 5 times in the last 10 years. Twice for lewd and lascivious battery of a minor (aged 12-15), once for solicitation of a minor, and twice for probation violations.
The TL/DR: abusive mom took all her frustrations out on me, blamed me for everything my brother did, hid my father's death from me until I was almost 18, and reaches out after 8 years of no contact and wants me to take care of her pedophile son while she's in poor health.
I'm attaching my response to her below.
Hi. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm also not okay with you contacting me, especially under the circumstances that you violated the privacy of your own sister to get my contact information. I have read your apologies and excuses and I do not accept either. You say I reminded you of Dad? He spent more time with me and showed more interest in my well-being than you ever did, and that's including the 6 years he was absent from my life by your own selfish design. Menopause? I find that hard to believe as this went on for the better part of half a decade and not once in that time did your attitude towards brother change. You always treated him with the same coddling infantile obsession and patience that one would show a toddler. It was and is clear that you have a preferred child as that adult-sized pile of shit is still living comfortably with dear old mama. I'm guessing no one else is willing to take him in? Are Uncle and Cousins afraid of him doing something to their daughters or grandchildren? I do believe you when you say you want to rebuild the bridge that you nuked from orbit years ago, but I can't believe it's not for your own selfish desires. And I can't find any reason or way my quality of life could be improved with your presence. The reality is, my life has been far better without you than it could be with you. I've never said this to anyone, but if there is a sense of karma and balance in the universe, your current situation is proof of that. The next time I see your name on my computer screen, had better be for your obituary. But since you and the monster you raised both decided to keep Dad's death a secret from me, and remove any choice I had to mourn or pay my respects, I'll return that kindness to you.
Please die away from me.

I'll preface this by stating that, while I am someone deeply curious about the unexplained, those topics don't often make appearances in my dreams, let alone to this level of detail.
It was an unremarkable evening a few years ago. I can't recall any distress or commitments the next day that would've disrupted my sleep/dreams and I hadn't been drinking at all. I simply fell asleep at a normal hour like I would any other night.
The dream began with me asleep on the floor of a basement I'd never been in before. It looked vaguely familiar but it wasn't a perfect match to any basement I'd been in (asleep or otherwise). I woke up wrapped in a throw blanket an old flat pillow under my head. My back hurt and my eyes felt itchy. Even though I didn't have glasses on I could see perfectly well after rubbing my eyes.
The room was dark, except for a single, blue LED that I assumed was coming from a TV or a game console or something. All around me were other sleeping people that I assumed were friends of mine. They were all similarly laying on the floor but non of them moved or made any noise.
I glanced over to the stairs at the back of the room and my blood ran cold.
There was a strange figure, stocky and standing at about shoulder height, walking across the room. He was draped in what looked like a purple bedsheet with yellow patterns on it. His skin was a dull brown/green and his face seemed almost frog-like. He had front facing white eyes with no pupils and a long slit like mouth. A long, black beard hung down from his chin over his chest. He was wearing some kind of hat that curled backward behind his head in a nautilus shape. His arms and fingers were long and thin and protruded from his baggy sleeves.
His movements were unlike anything I'd seen in my life. It was almost like an animatronic or someone moving underwater. I couldn't see his feet so it looked like he was floating along the ground. His arms moved smoothly at his sides as he "walked". He turned his head to face me, and that's when I heard his voice.
"Can you see me?"
I didn't hear a voice say it. It was like the words were in my brain but I didn't put them there. I could tell they came from him. I nodded, I was a bit scared but I had this gut feeling that he wasn't dangerous. It kept me from full on panicking. In my head I thought of what I was going to say and was alarmed when he answered me in the same manner as before.
"Yes, I can." I said, "What are you doing down here?"
He just repeated, "You can see me?"
"Yes! I can see you. Is everything alright?"
There was a pause.
"Yes. Don't be afraid."
I stood up, and walked over my sleeping friends towards him. As I did I replied.
"I'm not, who are you?"
His answer still puzzles me years later.
"I am you, in a way. I control you. We are each other."
Immediately, this strange warmth rose in my stomach. I was overcome with this feeling of joy and friendship.
"So you control me? Like a video game?" I even mimed the action of holding a controller for him. He made a nervous laugh.
"Not exactly. In a way. Yes. Its hard to explain. I'd rather not. But yes. It's nice to see you. Controlling you. People, are how we experience. We live in you. We don't move around on our own."
Another pause came as I tried to figure out what to say next.
"I have to leave. It was nice seeing you. You won't see me again."
And with that he was gone. No flash of light, no fading out, he was there one second and gone the next.
From there I woke up in my bed. Nothing strange had happened. No missing time, no marks or changes in my life. I just moved on and now I occasionally think about it. I've still yet to see him again.

Hello! I've tried a lot of antitranspirants, sasly all of them are either sprays or gel sticks, and they don't fully dry on my armpits for like 20-30 minutes, though the instructions promise they'd dry in few minutes. After that time I'm just too tired holding my arms high to expose the armpits to the air. Antitranspirants seem to work, but not perfectly, sometimes I start to sweat too early, sometimes the armpits are uncomfortably wetty. And I follow the instructions, apply them only at night, on dry and clean skin. Am I the only one with the issue, and if not, what do you do?