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The friendlier part of Reddit.
2014.06.08 08:08 The friendlier part of Reddit.
The friendlier part of Reddit. Have a fun conversation about anything that is on your mind. Ask a question or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process.
2015.02.22 15:23 Bombjoke Promoting apps that respect our privacy, device, and our time
GGApps: Promoting Android apps using the barest permissions! Preference to open source apps as well!
2008.08.26 20:25 /r/Rowing
A place to discuss all things rowing!
2024.05.15 08:49 casefilesofVJ The Love Tunnel
-Jack
Every kid growing up in Gympie in the early 90- 2000s knew about the Love Tunnel.
The love tunnel was located over the hill from the skatepark on the Riverbank. It was a massive storm water drain filled with spray paint and lore unbound throughout the generations; the glowing dick, whose name is the furthest in, the people who live inside, the bull shark that lived under the bridge just outside, all that fun stuff.
It collapsed in the late 2000’s in a flood and was eventually rebuilt, but it was all fancy, modern, safe and not the same. Back in the day it had decades of graffiti, crumbling cement, jagged metal pole framing bent and jutting out from the sides. You know, real character.
I remember when I was just a kid at the skatepark and I spotted a bunch of other kids at the metal grating of a drain. I joined them and gazed down a few metres to some older teenagers, they had trekked through this “love tunnel” under the massive hill all this way. Badass I thought. LEGENDARY.
I talked about it at school, about this mysterious “love tunnel”. It was in view from the road when I crossed the bridge everyday on my daily commutes from the backseat of mums car.
I would gaze down at the weir and see the top of the love tunnel, sliightly hidden from view by a hill. It fascinated me.
I learned all these mysterious tales; this person slept with this person there, someone took a dump at the entrance and some other girl stood in it and now she had a nickname, someone found needles, another found a homeless woman and she screamed at them. I was pumped for the next weekend. I was going to go see it for myself.
I saw too much.
Early Saturday morning I was riding my push bike through town and toward destination adventure! I started out at the skatepark, met up with a few of the regulars, a mix of 5-19y/o everyone on the half pipes and ramps had a code of comrady that I've never found in a public place anywhere else and you always had someone to hang with.
My usual crew slowly arrived through the morning, a bunch of other 10/11 year old misfits like myself and we headed on our first place on our journey, Hungry Jacks. Now we never technically stole, we found a loophole…
One or two would order a stunner meal, then we'd take privilege of the free refills and fill up the empty plastic 4L juice jugs that we all had prepped in our backpacks. Coke and red Fanta for days.
So we got our supplies and headed behind HJ, past the volleyball courts and headed down a bush track down to the river.
We walked along the banks to loop back down to where the bridge was, we passed a few teenagers fishing and a couple other groups of kids swinging from rope swings into the water or huddled in groups smoking things they shouldn't.
We eventually arrived at the weir and the stormwater drain that I had been so intrigued by. The Love Tunnel.
Climbing up the hill and seeing it up close when you were just a tiny human. It was like staring into the dark abyss of hell.
There was a small stream of water flowing out of the big grey cylinder and it was covered in multicolored quotes and crude pictures that was very eye opening at the time.
Our voices echoed as one by one we climbed up the grassy, eroding clay edging that was the makeshift path into the mouth that probably changed each time it rained. Each of us had pulled out clumps of grass that we thought were handholds. If you fell, you fell down an embankment of slippery jagged rocks poking out from the fast flowing river.
So were inside and began to walk a couple of metres in then around us the light abruptly disappeared into complete darkness. And I remember the way the sounds traveled you could feel it through your chest it was mesmerizing.
I remember bravely stepping into the darkness and taking five or six steps in. That thick darkness was something else, I ran myself back to that entrance and light, heart pounding from the adrenaline.
This turned into a game of who could go in the furthest. This stopped when one of the boys screamed out from the darkness in pain.
He was back in the light teary eyed a few moments later wet on one side and feigning a laugh. He'd slipped down and cut open his knee, it was hilarious. We teased him saying he was going to get gangrene and leprosy and a myriad of other ailments we had no idea actually was.
We decided to bail, we forgot torches, we didn't plan that part out too well, and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon being little menaces.
We met the next day with a game plan, we had an array of various sized torches, from small ones that didn't do anything, one of those giant rectangle ones that was our main light source, a couple of handheld ones, one which flickered and the other stopped working before we even got into the tunnel.
We got in safely and tested out our torches and began walking into the unknown. It was pretty much the same as before, but there were strange things, old makeshift bongs, shopping bags, random shoes, a shopping trolley, a mattress that was all moldy and rotted. I still to this day do not understand how people managed to get that shit in there.
We passed a section where someone had thrown a can of red paint all over the walls, the amount of those ‘S’ symbols was more terrifying.
We saw light up ahead, we were passing our first grate. It was kind of daunting looking up towards it. Even getting on each other's shoulders we couldn't reach. There was an array of broken beer bottles and glass was everywhere, under the grate was a dead snake amongst some debris.
We had a debate whether to go further, we ended up going on at least until the next grate, we came to a fork, one seemed like a smaller offshoot so we stuck to the bigger side.
There were more offshoots and we came to a part where the big pipes split off into three under another grate. We gazed up hoping to get an identifier of our location, but all we could see was blue. We called out to see if we could get anyone's attention.
“Cooooweeee” we shouted in unison, the sound echoing in all directions.
We were laughing and having a grand time until something shouted back, something that still shakes me to my core to this day.
Some yobbo crackhead chick in her fifties with this ratty pink tank top that was all stretched half showing her saggy titties. “What the fuck you think you little cunts doing down here.” This chick screeched at us through her few teeth or something along the lines of that. She just exploded at us with a barrage of threats.
We were shocked silenced moving together to make one mass.
One of the boys screamed when a skinny guy emerged from the darkness. He was covered in tattoos with scraggly hair and a beard, he was all crazy eyed and pantless.
Someone yelled out to run and it was all the motivation we needed.
We could hear them screaming and the guy ran after us, we heard glass shattering behind us, they must have thrown a bottle. We were legging it.
We got split up in our running, I fell down, tripping over some rubbish, one mate stayed back to help me, this left us without a torch. We came across the same kid who slipped over yesterday, he had slipped down again cutting open his other knee. He wore those with badges of honor at school, but he was blubbering like a baby at this point.
He had the flickering torch and it disoriented us more than helped, as it turned on and off every time he took a step. I thought we were lost but we found the other grate, then eventually the entrance.
The others were already climbed down, we were soon by their side panting in the grass and wiping away our tears so the others couldn't see.
We ran back over to the skatepark and immediately told every kid we saw.
That was the wildest shit we had ever experienced. Sure we’d seen crazy up on the street but to have it jump out at you from the shadows in a storm water drain was next level.
By that night one of the other boys had spilled to his parents about our escapades and a couple of other mums got phone calls, three got in trouble, two of us didn't, including me.
I never stepped foot back in that tunnel, I swam at the weir more times than I could count afterwards though and never encountered anyone else too sketchy.
I think only a year or two later I saw on the news people dying in storm water drains somewhere else in Aus, we never realized how dangerous they could be back then. Lol.
Every party or get together afterwards it was a crowd favorite to bring up. It was a good conversation starter and joined the tales amongst my friends of the weird shit that happens in ‘Helltown’.
Growing up and looking back they were probably just homeless drug addicts freaked out from a bunch of children's voices yelling out coooweee from the underground where they thought they were alone. That would have scared the shit outta me if I was them.
Good times.
.VJ
Tl:Dr kids go into storm water drain and find creepy couple who scream at them.
submitted by casefilesofVJ to creepyencounters [link] [comments]
Every kid growing up in Gympie in the early 90- 2000s knew about the Love Tunnel.
The love tunnel was located over the hill from the skatepark on the Riverbank. It was a massive storm water drain filled with spray paint and lore unbound throughout the generations; the glowing dick, whose name is the furthest in, the people who live inside, the bull shark that lived under the bridge just outside, all that fun stuff.
It collapsed in the late 2000’s in a flood and was eventually rebuilt, but it was all fancy, modern, safe and not the same. Back in the day it had decades of graffiti, crumbling cement, jagged metal pole framing bent and jutting out from the sides. You know, real character.
I remember when I was just a kid at the skatepark and I spotted a bunch of other kids at the metal grating of a drain. I joined them and gazed down a few metres to some older teenagers, they had trekked through this “love tunnel” under the massive hill all this way. Badass I thought. LEGENDARY.
I talked about it at school, about this mysterious “love tunnel”. It was in view from the road when I crossed the bridge everyday on my daily commutes from the backseat of mums car.
I would gaze down at the weir and see the top of the love tunnel, sliightly hidden from view by a hill. It fascinated me.
I learned all these mysterious tales; this person slept with this person there, someone took a dump at the entrance and some other girl stood in it and now she had a nickname, someone found needles, another found a homeless woman and she screamed at them. I was pumped for the next weekend. I was going to go see it for myself.
I saw too much.
Early Saturday morning I was riding my push bike through town and toward destination adventure! I started out at the skatepark, met up with a few of the regulars, a mix of 5-19y/o everyone on the half pipes and ramps had a code of comrady that I've never found in a public place anywhere else and you always had someone to hang with.
My usual crew slowly arrived through the morning, a bunch of other 10/11 year old misfits like myself and we headed on our first place on our journey, Hungry Jacks. Now we never technically stole, we found a loophole…
One or two would order a stunner meal, then we'd take privilege of the free refills and fill up the empty plastic 4L juice jugs that we all had prepped in our backpacks. Coke and red Fanta for days.
So we got our supplies and headed behind HJ, past the volleyball courts and headed down a bush track down to the river.
We walked along the banks to loop back down to where the bridge was, we passed a few teenagers fishing and a couple other groups of kids swinging from rope swings into the water or huddled in groups smoking things they shouldn't.
We eventually arrived at the weir and the stormwater drain that I had been so intrigued by. The Love Tunnel.
Climbing up the hill and seeing it up close when you were just a tiny human. It was like staring into the dark abyss of hell.
There was a small stream of water flowing out of the big grey cylinder and it was covered in multicolored quotes and crude pictures that was very eye opening at the time.
Our voices echoed as one by one we climbed up the grassy, eroding clay edging that was the makeshift path into the mouth that probably changed each time it rained. Each of us had pulled out clumps of grass that we thought were handholds. If you fell, you fell down an embankment of slippery jagged rocks poking out from the fast flowing river.
So were inside and began to walk a couple of metres in then around us the light abruptly disappeared into complete darkness. And I remember the way the sounds traveled you could feel it through your chest it was mesmerizing.
I remember bravely stepping into the darkness and taking five or six steps in. That thick darkness was something else, I ran myself back to that entrance and light, heart pounding from the adrenaline.
This turned into a game of who could go in the furthest. This stopped when one of the boys screamed out from the darkness in pain.
He was back in the light teary eyed a few moments later wet on one side and feigning a laugh. He'd slipped down and cut open his knee, it was hilarious. We teased him saying he was going to get gangrene and leprosy and a myriad of other ailments we had no idea actually was.
We decided to bail, we forgot torches, we didn't plan that part out too well, and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon being little menaces.
We met the next day with a game plan, we had an array of various sized torches, from small ones that didn't do anything, one of those giant rectangle ones that was our main light source, a couple of handheld ones, one which flickered and the other stopped working before we even got into the tunnel.
We got in safely and tested out our torches and began walking into the unknown. It was pretty much the same as before, but there were strange things, old makeshift bongs, shopping bags, random shoes, a shopping trolley, a mattress that was all moldy and rotted. I still to this day do not understand how people managed to get that shit in there.
We passed a section where someone had thrown a can of red paint all over the walls, the amount of those ‘S’ symbols was more terrifying.
We saw light up ahead, we were passing our first grate. It was kind of daunting looking up towards it. Even getting on each other's shoulders we couldn't reach. There was an array of broken beer bottles and glass was everywhere, under the grate was a dead snake amongst some debris.
We had a debate whether to go further, we ended up going on at least until the next grate, we came to a fork, one seemed like a smaller offshoot so we stuck to the bigger side.
There were more offshoots and we came to a part where the big pipes split off into three under another grate. We gazed up hoping to get an identifier of our location, but all we could see was blue. We called out to see if we could get anyone's attention.
“Cooooweeee” we shouted in unison, the sound echoing in all directions.
We were laughing and having a grand time until something shouted back, something that still shakes me to my core to this day.
Some yobbo crackhead chick in her fifties with this ratty pink tank top that was all stretched half showing her saggy titties. “What the fuck you think you little cunts doing down here.” This chick screeched at us through her few teeth or something along the lines of that. She just exploded at us with a barrage of threats.
We were shocked silenced moving together to make one mass.
One of the boys screamed when a skinny guy emerged from the darkness. He was covered in tattoos with scraggly hair and a beard, he was all crazy eyed and pantless.
Someone yelled out to run and it was all the motivation we needed.
We could hear them screaming and the guy ran after us, we heard glass shattering behind us, they must have thrown a bottle. We were legging it.
We got split up in our running, I fell down, tripping over some rubbish, one mate stayed back to help me, this left us without a torch. We came across the same kid who slipped over yesterday, he had slipped down again cutting open his other knee. He wore those with badges of honor at school, but he was blubbering like a baby at this point.
He had the flickering torch and it disoriented us more than helped, as it turned on and off every time he took a step. I thought we were lost but we found the other grate, then eventually the entrance.
The others were already climbed down, we were soon by their side panting in the grass and wiping away our tears so the others couldn't see.
We ran back over to the skatepark and immediately told every kid we saw.
That was the wildest shit we had ever experienced. Sure we’d seen crazy up on the street but to have it jump out at you from the shadows in a storm water drain was next level.
By that night one of the other boys had spilled to his parents about our escapades and a couple of other mums got phone calls, three got in trouble, two of us didn't, including me.
I never stepped foot back in that tunnel, I swam at the weir more times than I could count afterwards though and never encountered anyone else too sketchy.
I think only a year or two later I saw on the news people dying in storm water drains somewhere else in Aus, we never realized how dangerous they could be back then. Lol.
Every party or get together afterwards it was a crowd favorite to bring up. It was a good conversation starter and joined the tales amongst my friends of the weird shit that happens in ‘Helltown’.
Growing up and looking back they were probably just homeless drug addicts freaked out from a bunch of children's voices yelling out coooweee from the underground where they thought they were alone. That would have scared the shit outta me if I was them.
Good times.
.VJ
Tl:Dr kids go into storm water drain and find creepy couple who scream at them.
2024.05.15 08:40 isaac_kelvin Hostinger vs. GoDaddy: A Deep Dive into Web Hosting Titans
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Hostinger and GoDaddy are both excellent web hosting providers with their own strengths and weaknesses. The best choice for you ultimately depends on your specific needs and budget.
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submitted by isaac_kelvin to Webhostinger [link] [comments]
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2024.05.15 08:31 Prize-Dinner-7418 AITA for getting drunk and turning off my phone
TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.
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This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):
- Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
- My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
- Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
- Maryse, 27F at the time.
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.
2024.05.15 08:31 adulting4kids ChatGPT Genre Specific Prompts Response Examples
In the quaint village of Briarbrook, nestled between rolling hills and whispering pines, lived a curious soul named Eliza. Her days were stitched together by the rhythm of the seasons, each passing year marking a new chapter in the symphony of her life. From the tender age of six, Eliza had a penchant for collecting seashells, each one a treasure imbued with memories of seaside escapades that lingered in her heart.
Through the lens of her youthful gaze, the world was a canvas painted with the hues of wonder and possibility. The winding cobblestone paths of Briarbrook, once familiar and comforting, now seemed to whisper tales of distant lands and untold adventures.
Eliza's transformation began with an unexpected encounter in the heart of the woods. She stumbled upon a mysterious figure, cloaked in stories and secrets, weaving tales spun from threads of wisdom and curiosity. The old sage, nestled beneath the gnarled branches of an ancient oak, imparted cryptic advice that sparked a yearning for discovery within Eliza's soul.
As seasons melted into one another, Eliza embarked on a voyage of self-discovery, a journey shaped by trials and revelations. She encountered peculiar companions along the way—a nomadic storyteller whose words painted vivid landscapes of far-off realms, a silent gardener who nurtured seeds of wisdom in the fertile soil of her mind, and a spirited bard whose melodies echoed the songs of forgotten legends.
Each encounter left an indelible mark on Eliza's spirit, illuminating hidden facets of her identity. The trials she faced—challenges that tested her courage, tempests that stirred her resilience—were the forge where her character was shaped and honed.
With the passage of time, Eliza's once small world expanded like a blooming tapestry unfurling to reveal the vastness of existence. Her footsteps led her beyond the village's borders, across sun-kissed meadows and moonlit forests, as she chased the elusive whispers of distant horizons.
The crescendo of her journey was not marked by a definitive destination but by the realization that the pilgrimage itself was the essence of her metamorphosis. The soul-stirring melodies of life's harmonies resonated within her, guiding her toward a profound understanding—that growth was an eternal dance, an ever-evolving rhythm that echoed the cadence of the human spirit.
In the end, Eliza returned to Briarbrook, her heart brimming with the treasures of her odyssey. The village, once suffused with familiarity, now appeared adorned with newfound hues and shades, each cobblestone and each whispered tale a testament to her evolution.
As she gazed upon the horizon, Eliza knew that her journey had only just begun—a boundless expanse of tales awaiting to be unwoven, mysteries yearning to be unraveled, and the infinite depths of her own soul waiting to be explored.
🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
In the shimmering metropolis of NeoArc, where the glow of neon lights danced upon sleek skyscrapers, lay a world teetering on the edge of evolution. Here, in the heart of innovation, the threads of society intertwined with the fabric of cutting-edge biotechnology, genetic engineering, and the pulsating rhythm of biometrics.
Enter Marcus, a young engineer whose fascination with the fusion of biology and technology bordered on obsession. His world revolved around the labyrinthine corridors of the Research and Development sector, a sprawling enclave where the echo of mechanical hums harmonized with the whispers of experimental breakthroughs.
The city's pulse throbbed with advancements, where cybernetic enhancements were the new frontier, and genetic modifications promised to redefine humanity's very essence. Marcus was entangled in this web of progress, driven by an insatiable curiosity to decipher the symbiosis between man and machine, the convergence of flesh and circuitry.
In the shadowed alleys and clandestine laboratories of NeoArc, Marcus found himself embroiled in clandestine projects that skirted the edges of ethical boundaries. The allure of pushing the boundaries of biotechnology to transcend limitations beckoned, blurring the lines between ambition and moral compass.
As Marcus delved deeper into the intricacies of biopunk, he encountered factions entrenched in clandestine operations, each vying for control over the enigmatic possibilities offered by genetic manipulation. The allure of power and the pursuit of human enhancement became a battleground where ethics clashed with ambition, morality tangled with scientific prowess.
Yet, amidst the chaos and ethical dilemmas, Marcus found a beacon of hope—a glimmering thread of purpose that intertwined with his quest for knowledge. He realized that the true essence of biopunk wasn't merely about the advancement of technology but the ethical responsibility tethered to wielding such unprecedented power.
The climax of his journey wasn't marked by a groundbreaking scientific discovery or an engineered revolution but by the profound realization that the future of biopunk lay not solely in scientific marvels but in the conscientious application of its possibilities.
In the hum of NeoArc's bustling streets, Marcus emerged not as a trailblazing scientist pushing the boundaries of biotechnology, but as a steward of ethical innovation. His resolve to tread the path of biopunk with ethical integrity became the cornerstone of his legacy—a testament to the convergence of humanity and technology in an era poised on the brink of revolution.
⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄
bio punk
In the heart of the sprawling city of NeoArc, Marcus stood amidst the fluorescent glow of the Research and Development sector, engrossed in the rhythmic hum of the lab. His quest for scientific breakthroughs was a symphony composed of ambition and ethical contemplation, interwoven with the threads of intrigue that pulsed through the cutting-edge world of biopunk.
Character Development:
As Marcus meticulously tinkered with strands of genetic code, he navigated the labyrinth of his own moral compass. Each experiment, each ethically ambiguous choice, etched a subtle mark upon his conscience. His devotion to scientific advancement wrestled with the nagging tendrils of ethical responsibility that coiled within his mind.
Plot and Literary Devices:
One fateful night, a clandestine meeting in the dimly lit alleys of NeoArc beckoned Marcus into the clandestine underbelly of biopunk's potential. The dialogue between Marcus and a shadowed figure unfurled like a carefully crafted riddle, each word laden with intrigue and veiled warnings.
"Marcus, you possess the ingenuity to redefine the very fabric of humanity," murmured the shadowed figure, the words laced with both temptation and caution.
The plot thickened as Marcus found himself entangled in a web of intrigue, navigating a plot steeped in mystery and ethical quandaries. The external dialogue mirrored the city's pulsating energy, shrouded in the secrets of illicit experimentation, while his internal dialogue echoed with the reverberations of moral dilemmas.
Inner Dialogue: "Can scientific progress eclipse moral boundaries? Is the pursuit of advancement worth compromising ethical standards?"
External Dialogue: "I seek answers, not just to revolutionize science, but to wield its power responsibly," Marcus countered, the gravity of his words underscoring his ethical stance.
Development Through Dialogue:
Conversations with clandestine researchers, heated debates with colleagues, and ethical discussions within the corridors of the lab epitomized Marcus's journey. Each dialogue was a canvas upon which his character evolved, transforming from a zealous scientist fixated on progress to a vigilant guardian of ethical innovation.
The climax unfurled in a crescendo of moral reckoning—a pivotal moment where Marcus had to choose between the allure of unchecked progress and the moral imperative to wield biotechnology responsibly.
Conclusion:
As the neon-lit streets of NeoArc bathed in the city's nocturnal luminescence, Marcus emerged not just as a scientist but as a beacon of ethical responsibility within the realm of biopunk. His character arc encapsulated the fusion of scientific curiosity and moral consciousness, painting a portrait of growth that mirrored the city's ever-evolving skyline.
This journey through Marcus's inner and external dialogue, intertwined with plot and ethical dilemmas, encapsulated the essence of character development within the intricate tapestry of the biopunk genre.
🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧
Remember these were generated by ChatGPT and have not been edited. They were prompted using the same writing genre prompts that were provided to you, and I was trying to make an example of how to respond but instead, this is what was churned out from different sessions. I'm still working on it but let me see what happens when humans respond!
submitted by adulting4kids to writingthruit [link] [comments]
Through the lens of her youthful gaze, the world was a canvas painted with the hues of wonder and possibility. The winding cobblestone paths of Briarbrook, once familiar and comforting, now seemed to whisper tales of distant lands and untold adventures.
Eliza's transformation began with an unexpected encounter in the heart of the woods. She stumbled upon a mysterious figure, cloaked in stories and secrets, weaving tales spun from threads of wisdom and curiosity. The old sage, nestled beneath the gnarled branches of an ancient oak, imparted cryptic advice that sparked a yearning for discovery within Eliza's soul.
As seasons melted into one another, Eliza embarked on a voyage of self-discovery, a journey shaped by trials and revelations. She encountered peculiar companions along the way—a nomadic storyteller whose words painted vivid landscapes of far-off realms, a silent gardener who nurtured seeds of wisdom in the fertile soil of her mind, and a spirited bard whose melodies echoed the songs of forgotten legends.
Each encounter left an indelible mark on Eliza's spirit, illuminating hidden facets of her identity. The trials she faced—challenges that tested her courage, tempests that stirred her resilience—were the forge where her character was shaped and honed.
With the passage of time, Eliza's once small world expanded like a blooming tapestry unfurling to reveal the vastness of existence. Her footsteps led her beyond the village's borders, across sun-kissed meadows and moonlit forests, as she chased the elusive whispers of distant horizons.
The crescendo of her journey was not marked by a definitive destination but by the realization that the pilgrimage itself was the essence of her metamorphosis. The soul-stirring melodies of life's harmonies resonated within her, guiding her toward a profound understanding—that growth was an eternal dance, an ever-evolving rhythm that echoed the cadence of the human spirit.
In the end, Eliza returned to Briarbrook, her heart brimming with the treasures of her odyssey. The village, once suffused with familiarity, now appeared adorned with newfound hues and shades, each cobblestone and each whispered tale a testament to her evolution.
As she gazed upon the horizon, Eliza knew that her journey had only just begun—a boundless expanse of tales awaiting to be unwoven, mysteries yearning to be unraveled, and the infinite depths of her own soul waiting to be explored.
🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
In the shimmering metropolis of NeoArc, where the glow of neon lights danced upon sleek skyscrapers, lay a world teetering on the edge of evolution. Here, in the heart of innovation, the threads of society intertwined with the fabric of cutting-edge biotechnology, genetic engineering, and the pulsating rhythm of biometrics.
Enter Marcus, a young engineer whose fascination with the fusion of biology and technology bordered on obsession. His world revolved around the labyrinthine corridors of the Research and Development sector, a sprawling enclave where the echo of mechanical hums harmonized with the whispers of experimental breakthroughs.
The city's pulse throbbed with advancements, where cybernetic enhancements were the new frontier, and genetic modifications promised to redefine humanity's very essence. Marcus was entangled in this web of progress, driven by an insatiable curiosity to decipher the symbiosis between man and machine, the convergence of flesh and circuitry.
In the shadowed alleys and clandestine laboratories of NeoArc, Marcus found himself embroiled in clandestine projects that skirted the edges of ethical boundaries. The allure of pushing the boundaries of biotechnology to transcend limitations beckoned, blurring the lines between ambition and moral compass.
As Marcus delved deeper into the intricacies of biopunk, he encountered factions entrenched in clandestine operations, each vying for control over the enigmatic possibilities offered by genetic manipulation. The allure of power and the pursuit of human enhancement became a battleground where ethics clashed with ambition, morality tangled with scientific prowess.
Yet, amidst the chaos and ethical dilemmas, Marcus found a beacon of hope—a glimmering thread of purpose that intertwined with his quest for knowledge. He realized that the true essence of biopunk wasn't merely about the advancement of technology but the ethical responsibility tethered to wielding such unprecedented power.
The climax of his journey wasn't marked by a groundbreaking scientific discovery or an engineered revolution but by the profound realization that the future of biopunk lay not solely in scientific marvels but in the conscientious application of its possibilities.
In the hum of NeoArc's bustling streets, Marcus emerged not as a trailblazing scientist pushing the boundaries of biotechnology, but as a steward of ethical innovation. His resolve to tread the path of biopunk with ethical integrity became the cornerstone of his legacy—a testament to the convergence of humanity and technology in an era poised on the brink of revolution.
⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄⛄
bio punk
Character Development:
As Marcus meticulously tinkered with strands of genetic code, he navigated the labyrinth of his own moral compass. Each experiment, each ethically ambiguous choice, etched a subtle mark upon his conscience. His devotion to scientific advancement wrestled with the nagging tendrils of ethical responsibility that coiled within his mind.
Plot and Literary Devices:
One fateful night, a clandestine meeting in the dimly lit alleys of NeoArc beckoned Marcus into the clandestine underbelly of biopunk's potential. The dialogue between Marcus and a shadowed figure unfurled like a carefully crafted riddle, each word laden with intrigue and veiled warnings.
"Marcus, you possess the ingenuity to redefine the very fabric of humanity," murmured the shadowed figure, the words laced with both temptation and caution.
The plot thickened as Marcus found himself entangled in a web of intrigue, navigating a plot steeped in mystery and ethical quandaries. The external dialogue mirrored the city's pulsating energy, shrouded in the secrets of illicit experimentation, while his internal dialogue echoed with the reverberations of moral dilemmas.
Inner Dialogue: "Can scientific progress eclipse moral boundaries? Is the pursuit of advancement worth compromising ethical standards?"
External Dialogue: "I seek answers, not just to revolutionize science, but to wield its power responsibly," Marcus countered, the gravity of his words underscoring his ethical stance.
Development Through Dialogue:
Conversations with clandestine researchers, heated debates with colleagues, and ethical discussions within the corridors of the lab epitomized Marcus's journey. Each dialogue was a canvas upon which his character evolved, transforming from a zealous scientist fixated on progress to a vigilant guardian of ethical innovation.
The climax unfurled in a crescendo of moral reckoning—a pivotal moment where Marcus had to choose between the allure of unchecked progress and the moral imperative to wield biotechnology responsibly.
Conclusion:
As the neon-lit streets of NeoArc bathed in the city's nocturnal luminescence, Marcus emerged not just as a scientist but as a beacon of ethical responsibility within the realm of biopunk. His character arc encapsulated the fusion of scientific curiosity and moral consciousness, painting a portrait of growth that mirrored the city's ever-evolving skyline.
This journey through Marcus's inner and external dialogue, intertwined with plot and ethical dilemmas, encapsulated the essence of character development within the intricate tapestry of the biopunk genre.
🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧
Remember these were generated by ChatGPT and have not been edited. They were prompted using the same writing genre prompts that were provided to you, and I was trying to make an example of how to respond but instead, this is what was churned out from different sessions. I'm still working on it but let me see what happens when humans respond!
2024.05.15 08:20 Furystorm [WTS] Furystorm's boutique™ (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) Galaxy's Finest (⌐ ͡■ ͜ʖ ͡■) ✪ Game packages (SQ42 & LTI & starter) ✪ Banu Cube/Tholo ✪ LTI Pioneer, Orion, Carrack, Merchantman, Hull A/B/C/D/E, Vindicator, others ★ Rare CCUs (upgrades) ★ Combo packs ★ Vanguard BUKs ★ Modules/Flairs/Weapons/Armor ★
- ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ### 👽👽👽 Welcome to Furystorm's boutique ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 👽👽👽
New players - use this code (STAR-MRG5-2TBJ) on registration to get additional 5000 UEC for free!▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
(Just click this link)
Currencies accepted: PayPal: [$] [€], Skrill (+10%): [€], Crypto(+5%): BTC, BCH, ETH, can take others
To make an order 📨 PM me via Reddit or via Discord (Furystorm#4218)
!!! Please use standard messages, not chat (notifications aren't working properly sometimes) !!!►1◄ REFERRAL SERVICE
╚════════════════════╝
20 $ per eachInfo about rewards can be found here - https://robertsspaceindustries.com/referral-program
╔══════════════════╗
►2◄ SPECIAL OFFERS
╚══════════════════╝
╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆
Upgrades
| Item | Price, $ |
|---|---|
| Banu Tholo code | 80 |
| Banu Lockbox (Banu Cube) code | 100 |
| Mole to Merchantman | 199 |
| Starfarer Gemini to Merchantman | 189 |
| C2 Hercules to Carrack | 139 |
| Valkyrie to Carrack | 169 |
| Constellation Aquila to Orion | 219 |
| Starfarer Gemini to Hull D Upgrade | 109 |
| Constellation Andromeda to Hull C Upgrade | 139 |
| Anvil Terrapin to Hull C Upgrade | 179 |
| F7C-R Hornet Tracker to Constellation Taurus | 39 |
| Corsair to 400i Warbond Edition | 12 |
| Hull E to Polaris | 50 |
| Ship Upgrades - Drake Kraken Conversion Kit | 799 |
| PAINTS - PERSEUS - THUNDERCLOUD PAINT | 31 |
Stuff
| Item | Price, $ |
|---|---|
| CitizenCon 2951 Digital Goodies | 9 |
| Gemini LH86 Pistol - Voyager edition | 6 |
| Kruger P-72 Emerald | 105 |
| RSI VENTURE PATHFINDER ARM ARMOR | 10 |
| RSI VENTURE VOYAGER ARM ARMOR | 10 |
►4◄ GAME AND SHIP COMBO PACKAGES
╚═════════════════════════════════╝
| Package | Insurance | SC+SQ42 | Price, $ | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| PACKAGE - 2943 WEEKEND WARRIOR - LTI | LTI | SC + SQ42 | 299 | F7C-M Super Hornet LTI pack |
| Package - Syulen Starter Pack | LTI | SC | 115 | Syulen LTI pack |
| Package - Aurora LN | 3MI | SC + SQ42 | 59 | Aurora LN (best aurora) Starter package |
| Mustang Alpha Starter | 3MI | SC | 55 | - |
| Anniversary 2017 Mustang Discount Starter | 5YI | No | 54 | - |
| Nox 2 pack | LTI | No | 121 | Nox + Nox Kue |
| Aopoa Nox 5 Pack | LTI | No | 242 | 4 Nox + 1 Nox Kue |
| Race Team Pack | LTI | No | 168 | X1 + NOX + Dragonfly Black |
| Origin X1 THREE-PACK | LTI | No | 174 | X1 Baseline + Velocity + Force |
| Entrepreneur pack | LTI | Yes | 683 | Prospector + Vulture + Vulcan + Hull B + Ursa Rover |
| The Tortoise and the Hurricane | LTI | No | 415 | Anvil Hurricane + Anvil Terrapin |
| Starfarer + Nox 2 pack | LTI | No | 431 | Starfarer + Nox + Nox Kue |
| Origin 600i Series Combo Pack | LTI | No | 977 | 600i Luxury + Exploration + Origin X1 |
| Scoundrel Pack | LTI | Yes | 788 | 7 Items, see picture |
| Aegis Wrecking Crew Pack | LTI | No | 1155 | Reclaimer + Vulcan + Eclipse + Avenger Warlock/Titan |
| Exotic Mega Pack | LTI | No | 1260 | Banu MM + Genesis Starliner + Khartu-al + other small ships |
| UEE Exploration 2948 Pack | LTI | Yes | 850 | Carrack, Terrapin, Freelancer DUR, Cyclone RN |
►5◄ LTI STANDALONE SHIPS
╚══════════════════════════╝
CCU-d ships are upgraded from another ship. Also I have ships from original sale - they may come with different bonuses but are more expensive.
You can click on the price of original sale item to see it's contents.
| Ship manufacturer | Ship model | Insurance | Price (CCU-d), $ | Price (Original sale), $ |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Aopoa (Xi'an) | Khartu-Al | LTI | 179 | - |
| - | Nox | LTI | - | 77 |
| - | Nox Kue | LTI | - | 77 |
| - | San'Tok.Yai | LTI | 231 | - |
| Aegis Dynamics | Avenger Titan | LTI | 74 | 100 |
| - | Avenger Titan Renegade | LTI | 95 | 111 |
| - | Avenger Stalker | LTI | 84 | - |
| - | Avenger Warlock | LTI | 100 | - |
| - | Eclipse | LTI | 305 | 333 |
| - | Gladius | LTI | 116 | - |
| - | Gladius Valiant | LTI | 132 | 147 |
| - | Hammerhead | LTI | 672 | 777 |
| - | Hammerhead Best in Show Edition | LTI | 746 | - |
| - | Nautilus | LTI | 672 | - |
| - | Reclaimer | LTI | 336 | 550 |
| - | Reclaimer Best in Show Edition | LTI | 429 | - |
| - | Redeemer | LTI | 333 | - |
| - | Retaliator Bomber | LTI | 284 | - |
| - | Sabre | LTI | 184 | 221 |
| - | Sabre Comet | LTI | 195 | - |
| - | Vanguard Warden | LTI | 263 | 357 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | LTI | 289 | - |
| - | Vanguard Sentinel | LTI | 268 | - |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | LTI | 231 | 268 |
| - | Vulcan | LTI | 216 | 242 |
| ARGO Astronautics | MPUV Cargo | LTI | 74 | 84 |
| - | MPUV Personnel | LTI | - | 89 |
| Raft | LTI | 142 | - | |
| - | SRV | LTI | 165 | - |
| - | Mole | LTI | 321 | - |
| - | Combo Pack | LTI | - | 111 |
| Anvil Aerospace | Arrow | LTI | 95 | 137 |
| - | C8X Pisces Expedition | LTI | 69 | 79 |
| - | C8R Pisces | LTI | 84 | - |
| - | Carrack | LTI | 420 | - |
| - | Carrack W/C8X | LTI | 440 | - |
| - | Carrack Expedition | LTI | 447 | - |
| - | Carrack Expedition W/C8X | LTI | 468 | - |
| - | Crucible | LTI | 369 | 431 |
| - | F7C Hornet | LTI | 121 | - |
| - | F7C Hornet Wildfire | LTI | 189 | 210 |
| - | F7C-S Hornet Ghost | LTI | 140 | - |
| - | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | LTI | 155 | - |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | LTI | 199 | 252 |
| - | F7C-M Hornet Heartseeker | LTI | 200 | - |
| - | Gladiator | LTI | 177 | 221 |
| - | Hawk | LTI | 116 | 132 |
| - | Hurricane | LTI | 210 | 231 |
| - | Terrapin | LTI | 231 | 263 |
| - | Valkyrie | LTI | 357 | - |
| - | Legionnaire | LTI | 132 | - |
| Banu | Merchantman | LTI | 399 | - |
| - | Defender | LTI | 226 | 237 |
| Consolidated outland | Mustang Beta | LTI | 95 | - |
| - | Mustang Gamma | LTI | 74 | - |
| - | Mustang Delta | LTI | 84 | - |
| - | Pioneer | LTI | - | 1499 |
| Crusader Industries | Ares Inferno | LTI | 252 | - |
| - | Ares Ion | LTI | 252 | - |
| - | Genesis Starliner | LTI | 357 | 578 |
| - | C2 Hercules | LTI | 368 | - |
| - | M2 Hercules | LTI | 483 | - |
| - | A2 Hercules | LTI | 735 | - |
| C1 Spirit | LTI | 137 | - | |
| E1 Spirit | LTI | 163 | - | |
| A1 Spirit | LTI | 210 | - | |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | LTI | 273 | - |
| Drake Interplanetary | Dragonfly Yellowjacket | LTI | - | 84 |
| - | Dragonfly Black | LTI | - | 84 |
| - | Dragonfly Ride Together Two-Pack | LTI | - | 126 |
| - | Buccaneer | LTI | 126 | 142 |
| - | Caterpillar | LTI | 336 | - |
| - | Caterpillar Best in Show Edition | LTI | 347 | - |
| - | Corsair | LTI | 263 | - |
| - | Cutlass Black | LTI | 126 | - |
| - | Cutlass Black Best in Show Edition (2949) | LTI | 137 | - |
| - | Cutlass Steel | LTI | 221 | - |
| - | Cutlass Red | LTI | 142 | - |
| - | Cutlass Blue | LTI | 168 | - |
| - | Herald | LTI | 111 | - |
| - | Vulture | LTI | 158 | - |
| Esperia | Vanduul Blade | LTI | 284 | 326 |
| - | Vanduul Glaive | LTI | 373 | - |
| - | Prowler | LTI | 399 | 510 |
| - | Talon | LTI | 132 | - |
| - | Talon Shrike | LTI | 132 | - |
| Gatac | Railen | LTI | 242 | - |
| Greycat Industrial | ROC | LTI | 77 | - |
| Kruger Intergalactic | P-72 Archimedes | LTI | - | 90 |
| - | P-72 Archimedes Emerald | LTI | - | 105 |
| Mirai | Fury | LTI | 69 | - |
| - | Fury MX | LTI | 69 | - |
| - | Fury LX | LTI | 69 | - |
| MISC | Endeavor BASE | LTI | 378 | - |
| - | Endeavor DISCOVERY-CLASS | LTI | - | 683 |
| - | Endeavor Master Set 2018 | LTI | - | 1399 |
| Expanse | LTI | 168 | - | |
| - | Freelancer | LTI | 121 | - |
| - | Freelancer DUR | LTI | 147 | - |
| - | Freelancer MAX | LTI | 163 | - |
| - | Freelancer MIS | LTI | 184 | - |
| - | HULL A | LTI | 99 | - |
| - | HULL B | LTI | 147 | - |
| - | HULL C | LTI | 357 | - |
| - | HULL D | LTI | 462 | - |
| - | Odyssey | LTI | 578 | - |
| - | Razor | LTI | 163 | 179 |
| - | Razor LX | LTI | 168 | - |
| - | Razor EX | LTI | 174 | - |
| - | Prospector | LTI | 163 | 179 |
| - | Reliant Kore (Mini Hauler) | LTI | 84 | 105 |
| - | Reliant Tana (Skirmisher) | LTI | 95 | - |
| - | Reliant Mako (News Van) | LTI | 121 | - |
| - | Reliant Sen (Researcher) | LTI | 105 | - |
| - | Starfarer | LTI | 315 | 399 |
| - | Starfarer Gemini | LTI | 347 | 452 |
| Origin Jumpworks | X1 Baseline | LTI | - | 69 |
| - | X1 Velocity | LTI | - | 74 |
| - | X1 Force | LTI | - | 79 |
| - | M50 | LTI | 121 | - |
| - | 85X | LTI | - | 79 |
| - | 100I | LTI | 74 | 95 |
| - | 125A | LTI | 79 | - |
| - | 135C | LTI | 84 | - |
| - | 300I | LTI | 77 | - |
| - | 315P | LTI | 77 | - |
| - | 325A | LTI | 93 | - |
| - | 350R | LTI | 137 | - |
| - | 400i | LTI | 265 | - |
| - | 600i Touring | LTI | 399 | 525 |
| - | 600i Exploration | LTI | 420 | 580 |
| RSI | Aurora CL | LTI | 74 | - |
| - | Apollo Triage | LTI | 268 | - |
| - | Apollo Medivac | LTI | 294 | - |
| - | Galaxy | LTI | 378 | - |
| - | Mantis | LTI | 168 | - |
| - | Perseus | LTI | 557 | - |
| - | Polaris | LTI | 735 | 999 |
| - | Constellation Taurus | LTI | 179 | - |
| - | Constellation Andromeda | LTI | 252 | 315 |
| - | Constellation Aquila | LTI | 321 | - |
| Zeus MK II MR | LTI | 205 | - | |
| Zeus MK II ES | LTI | 163 | - | |
| Zeus MK II CL | LTI | 163 | - | |
| - | Scorpius | LTI | 263 | - |
| - | Scorpius Antares | LTI | 252 | - |
| - | Orion | LTI | 489 | - |
►6◄ NON-LTI SHIPS & PACKAGES, COMMON
╚════════════════════════════════════╝
| Ship/Package | Insurance | Price, $ | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|
| Consolidated Outland Mustang Alpha Vindicator | 6MI | 66 | Limited Vindicator version |
| Kruger P-72 Archimedes | 10YI | 55 | - |
| Kruger P-72 Archimedes | 6YI | 45 | - |
| Kruger P-52 Merlin | 6YI | 37 | - |
| RSI Aurora ES | 10YI | 37 | - |
| Argo MPUV 1C Cargo | 10YI | 53 | - |
| MISC Endeavor OLYMPIC-CLASS | 4YI | 578 | Endeavor with modules |
| RSI Constellation Phoenix | 10YI | 399 | - |
| RSI Constellation Phoenix | 6YI | 389 | - |
| Origin 890 Jump | 6MI | 1099 | - |
| Origin 890 Jump | 6YI | 1249 | - |
| Origin 890 Jump | 10YI | 1349 | - |
►7◄ PLANETARY VEHICLES & COMBO PACKAGES
╚══════════════════════════════════════════╝
| Vehicle | Insurance | Price (CCU-d), $ | Price (Concept), $ | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Anvil Ballista | LTI | 153 | - | |
| Hoverquad | LTI | 74 | - | |
| Greycat PTV | 6YI | 27 | - | |
| Greycat PTV | 10YI | 37 | - | |
| Origin G12 | LTI | 84 | - | |
| Origin G12R | LTI | 84 | - | |
| Origin G12A | LTI | 90 | - | |
| Tumbril Cyclone | LTI | 74 | Base version | |
| Tumbril Cyclone-TR | LTI | 79 | With ground turret | |
| Tumbril Cyclone-RC | LTI | 79 | Speedster | |
| Tumbril Cyclone-AA | LTI | 95 | Anti-air + countermeasures | |
| Tumbril Cyclone-RN | LTI | 79 | Scout & Scan | |
| Tumbril Ranger RC | LTI | 105 | Racer | |
| Tumbril Ranger CV | LTI | 111 | Offroad | |
| Tumbril Ranger TR | LTI | 116 | With Gun | |
| Tumbril Nova | LTI | 126 | 132 | Tank |
| URSA Rover | 5YI | 63 | - | |
| URSA Rover | 10YI | 70 | ||
| Lynx | LTI | 79 | ||
| URSA Rover Fortuna | LTI | 79 | Limited green skin edition |
| Combo packs | Insurance | Price (Concept), $ | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|
| Offroad Vehicle Pack | LTI | 137 | Cyclone TR + URSA + Greycat PTV |
| Tumbril Cyclone Pack | LTI | 305 | All Cyclones |
| All-Terrain Vehicle Mega Pack | LTI | 473 | All Cyclones + Ursa + Lynx + Greycat |
| Air and Space Pack LTI | LTI | 315 | Terrapin + Cyclone AA |
| Ground Vehicle Pack VIP | LTI | 378 | Gragonfly + Nox + X1 + Ursa + Cyclone + Nova + bonus |
| Deluxe Ground Vehicle Pack VIP | LTI | 840 | A lot of items, check screenshot |
►8.1◄ MODULES, PODS, BATTLEFIELD UPGRADE KITS (BUKS), OTHER ITEMS
╚═══════════════════════════════════════════════╝
| Module | Insurance | Price, $ |
|---|---|---|
| MISC Endeavor Modules (Pods) | - | - |
| BIODOME POD | 10YI | 126 |
| TELESCOPE ARRAY POD | 10YI | 153 |
| SUPERCOLLIDER POD | 10YI | 155 |
| SERVICE EQUIPMENT AND CREW POD | 10YI | 53 |
| GENERAL RESEARCH POD | 10YI | 72 |
| GENERAL SCIENCE POD | 10YI | 71 |
| FUEL POD | 10YI | 60 |
| MEDICAL BAY POD | 10YI | 105 |
| LANDING BAY | 10YI | 105 |
| RSI Galaxy Modules | ||
| Galaxy - Med Bay Module | 10YI | 116 |
| Galaxy - Refinery Module | 10YI | 126 |
| Galaxy - Cargo Module | 10YI | 95 |
| Aegis Vanguard battlefield upgrade kits | ||
| Harbinger battlefield upgrade kit | LTI | 140 |
| Sentinel battlefield upgrade kit | 6MI | 69 |
| Other stuff | ||
| Add-ons - Aegis Idris P after market kit | - | 294 |
►8.2 ◄ FPS WEAPONS, ARMOR, CLOTHES AND OTHER GEAR
╚════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
| Module | Insurance | Price, $ |
|---|---|---|
| Overlord "Dust Storm" Armor Set | - | 11 |
| Overlord "Riptide" Armor Set | - | 11 |
| Overlord Helmets "Silent Strike" Pack | - | 8 |
| Overlord Helmets "Forces of Nature" Pack | - | 8 |
| Parasite Replica Helmet (Original) | - | 11 |
| Parasite Replica Helmet (Dark Birth) | - | 11 |
| Stegman's Cordimon "Voyager" Complete Outfit | - | 11 |
| Stegman's IndVest “Pathfinder” Complete Outfit | - | 11 |
| RSI MacFlex Rust Society full armor set (5 items) | - | 21 |
| RSI Venture Rust Society full armor set (5 items) | - | 32 |
| Mr. Refinement’s Cabinet of Rare & Exquisite Spirits | - | 11 |
| Life in the 'Verse Shirts Pack #1 | - | 5 |
| Life in the 'Verse Shirts Pack #2 | - | 5 |
| "Caudillo" Helmets Pack #1 by CC's Conversions | - | 10 |
| "Caudillo" Helmets Pack #2 by CC's Conversions | - | 10 |
| "Caudillo" Helmets Pack #3 by CC's Conversions | - | 10 |
| QuikFlarePro Pack | - | 5 |
| QuikFlarePro Pack Deluxe | - | 6 |
| Polar Vortex Collection | - | 7 |
| Cold Front Collection | - | 7 |
| UltiFlex FSK-8 "Mirage" Combat Knife | - | 5 |
| UltiFlex FSK-8 "Ghost" Combat Knife | - | 5 |
| Urban Collection by Element Authority | - | 11 |
| Adventurer Collection by Element Authority | - | 11 |
| Manaslu Rust Society Jacket | - | 8 |
| RSI Horizon Rust Society Helmet | - | 8 |
| RSI Beacon Rust Society Undersuit | - | 6 |
| Paladin helmet | - | 10 |
►9◄ CROSS-CHASSIS UPGRADES (CCUS), SHIPS
╚════════════════════════════════════════╝
IAE-insurance upgrades (adds IAE insurance (10 years) to your ship)
| Upgrade | Price, $ |
|---|---|
| Prospector to F7C-M Super Hornet | 50 |
| Vanguard Warden to Caterpillar | 60 |
| Target ship manufacturer | Target ship | Upgrade from | Price, $ |
|---|---|---|---|
| Aegis Dynamics | Avenger Titan Renegade | 325A | 18 |
| - | Avenger Warlock | 325A | 29 |
| - | Avenger Warlock | Arrow | 26 |
| - | Eclipse | Constellation Andromeda | 78 |
| - | Eclipse | Vanguard Sentinel | 37 |
| - | Eclipse | Vanguard Warden | 53 |
| - | Eclipse | Blade | 37 |
| - | Gladius Valiant | Gladius | 32 |
| - | Gladius Valiant | M50 | 23 |
| - | Hammerhead | Constellation Aquila | 483 |
| - | Hammerhead | 600i Touring | 357 |
| - | Hammerhead | 600i Explorer | 315 |
| - | Hammerhead | Merchantman | 131 |
| - | Hammerhead | Hull D | 341 |
| - | Hammerhead | Crucible | 446 |
| - | Hammerhead | Carrack | 278 |
| - | Hammerhead | Reclaimer | 383 |
| - | Hammerhead | Prowler | 351 |
| - | Hammerhead | Orion | 210 |
| - | Hammerhead | Glaive | 446 |
| - | Hammerhead | A2 Hercules | 52 |
| - | Nautilus | Constellation Aquila | 467 |
| - | Nautilus | Endeavor | 425 |
| - | Nautilus | Crucible | 425 |
| - | Nautilus | Genesis Starliner | 372 |
| - | Nautilus | M2 Hercules | 246 |
| - | Nautilus | Merchantman | 110 |
| - | Nautilus | 600i Explorer | 294 |
| - | Nautilus | 600i Touring | 336 |
| - | Nautilus | Orion | 189 |
| - | Nautilus | Prowler | 330 |
| - | Nautilus | Carrack | 278 |
| - | Nautilus | Reclaimer | 372 |
| - | Nautilus | Hull D | 320 |
| - | Nautilus | C2 Hercules | 372 |
| - | Nautilus | Valkyrie | 399 |
| - | Reclaimer | Constellation Aquila | 115 |
| - | Reclaimer | Starfarer Gemini | 84 |
| - | Reclaimer | Endeavor | 73 |
| - | Reclaimer | Crucible | 73 |
| - | Redeemer | Constellation Andromeda | 78 |
| - | Redeemer | Vanguard Hoplite | 84 |
| - | Redeemer | Mole | 26 |
| - | Retaliator Bomber | Constellation Andromeda | 57 |
| - | Retaliator Base | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 25 |
| - | Sabre | Prospector | 31 |
| - | Sabre | Gladiator | 16 |
| - | Sabre Comet | Sabre | 31 |
| - | Sabre Comet | Freelancer MIS | 26 |
| - | Sabre Comet | Khartu-Al | 31 |
| - | Sabre Comet | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 23 |
| - | Sabre Comet | Gladiator | 35 |
| - | Sabre Comet | F7C-M Super Hornet | 20 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Constellation Andromeda | 68 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Retaliator Bomber | 31 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Vanguard Sentinel | 26 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Vanguard Hoplite | 73 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Vanguard Warden | 42 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | Constellation Taurus | 59 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | San'Tok.Yai | 28 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | Defender | 28 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | Corsair | -3 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | 54 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | Hurricane | 54 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | Terrapin | 28 |
| - | Vanguard Sentinel | Constellation Andromeda | 52 |
| - | Vanguard Sentinel | Vanguard Warden | 31 |
| - | Vanguard Warden | Constellation Andromeda | 31 |
| - | Vanguard Warden | Vanguard Hoplite | 40 |
| - | Vulcan | Constellation Taurus | 25 |
| - | Vulcan | Prospector | 61 |
| Anvil Aerospace | Carrack | Constellation Aquila | 273 |
| - | Carrack | Mole | 320 |
| - | Carrack | M2 Hercules | 99 |
| - | Carrack | 600i Explorer | 147 |
| - | Carrack | 600i Touring | 189 |
| - | Carrack | Orion | 42 |
| - | Carrack | Prowler | 183 |
| - | Carrack | Reclaimer | 225 |
| - | Carrack | Genesis Starliner | 225 |
| - | Carrack | Valkyrie | 215 |
| - | Carrack | C2 Hercules | 189 |
| - | Carrack | Hull D | 178 |
| - | Carrack | Merchantman | -31 |
| - | Carrack | Endeavor | 283 |
| - | Carrack | Crucible | 283 |
| - | Carrack | Starfarer Gemini | 294 |
| - | Carrack W/C8X | Carrack | 55 |
| - | Carrack Expedition | Carrack | 60 |
| - | Carrack Expedition | Carrack W/C8X | 40 |
| - | Carrack Expedition W/C8X | Carrack | 80 |
| - | Carrack Expedition W/C8X | Carrack W/C8X | 73 |
| - | Carrack Expedition W/C8X | Carrack Expedition | 68 |
| - | Crucible | Starfarer Gemini | 26 |
| - | Crucible | Constellation Aquila | 99 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | Prospector | 37 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | Khartu-AL | 22 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 16 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | Gladiator | 27 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | Freelancer MIS | 16 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | Sabre | 22 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet | Razor EX | 37 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Constellation Taurus | 21 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Freelancer MAX | 63 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Prospector | 57 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Razor EX | 57 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Gladiator | 47 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Khartu-AL | 42 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Sabre | 42 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Sabre Comet | 26 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 36 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Freelancer MIS | 36 |
| - | F7C Hornet Wildfire | Prospector | 31 |
| - | F7C Hornet Wildfire | Khartu-Al | 16 |
| - | F7C Hornet Wildfire | Gladiator | 22 |
| - | F7C Hornet Wildfire | Sabre | 16 |
| - | Gladiator | Prospector | 21 |
| - | Hawk | Gladius | 21 |
| - | Hurricane | Constellation Taurus | 22 |
| - | Hurricane | Prospector | 53 |
| - | Hurricane | Gladiator | 43 |
| - | Hurricane | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 32 |
| - | Hurricane | F7C-M Super Hornet | 27 |
| - | Hurricane | Freelancer MIS | 32 |
| - | Hurricane | Sabre | 37 |
| - | Hurricane | Sabre Comet | 22 |
| - | Hurricane | Khartu-Al | 37 |
| - | Terrapin | Prospector | 84 |
| - | Terrapin | Constellation Taurus | 44 |
| - | Terrapin | Freelancer MAX | 86 |
| - | Terrapin | F7C-M Super Hornet | 57 |
| - | Terrapin | Freelancer MIS | 63 |
| - | Terrapin | Vulcan | 36 |
| - | Terrapin | Gladiator | 73 |
| - | Terrapin | Khartu-Al | 65 |
| - | Terrapin | Sabre | 65 |
| - | Valkyrie | Constellation Aquila | 84 |
| - | Valkyrie | Endeavor | 42 |
| - | Valkyrie | Starfarer Gemini | 52 |
| - | Valkyrie | Crucible | 42 |
| - | Valkyrie | Glaive | 42 |
| Aopoa (Xi'an) | Khartu-Al | Prospector | 29 |
| - | Khartu-Al | Freelancer MAX | 31 |
| - | Nox | Aurora LN | 27 |
| - | Nox | Dragonfly Black | 15 |
| - | Nox | Dragonfly Yellowjacket | 15 |
| - | Nox | MPUV Cargo | 27 |
| - | Nox Kue | Aurora LN | 23 |
| - | Nox Kue | Dragonfly Black | 15 |
| - | Nox Kue | Dragonfly Yellowjacket | 15 |
| - | Nox Kue | Mustang Beta | 15 |
| - | Nox Kue | MPUV Personnel | 15 |
| - | Nox Kue | X1 Baseline | 15 |
| - | Nox Kue | MPUV Cargo | 22 |
| - | San'Tok.Yai | Constellation Taurus | 46 |
| - | San'Tok.Yai | Hurricane | 40 |
| - | San'Tok.Yai | Vulcan | 35 |
| ARGO Astronautics | MPUV Personnel | Aurora LN | 15 |
| - | MPUV Cargo | Mustang Alpha | 15 |
| - | SRV | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 37 |
| - | SRV | Razor | 32 |
| Banu | Merchantman | Mole | 239 |
| - | Merchantman | Starfarer Gemini | 220 |
| - | Merchantman | Prowler | 231 |
| - | Merchantman | 600i Touring | 236 |
| - | Merchantman | 600i Explorer | 194 |
| - | Merchantman | Genesis Starliner | 273 |
| - | Defender | Constellation Taurus | 42 |
| - | Defender | Retaliator Base | 84 |
| - | Defender | Cutlass Blue | 57 |
| - | Defender | Freelancer MIS | 65 |
| - | Defender | Gladiator | 70 |
| - | Defender | Khartu-Al | 65 |
| - | Defender | Sabre | 65 |
| - | Defender | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 59 |
| - | Defender | F7C-M Super Hornet | 55 |
| Consolidated outland | Mustang Delta | Mustang Gamma | 22 |
| - | Mustang Delta | Avenger Stalker | 15 |
| Crusader Industries | Genesis Starliner | Constellation Aquila | 120 |
| - | Genesis Starliner | Endeavor | 73 |
| - | Ares Inferno | Constellation Andromeda | 26 |
| - | Ares Ion | Constellation Andromeda | 26 |
| - | A2 Hercules | 600i Touring | 341 |
| - | A2 Hercules | 600i Explorer | 299 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Carrack | 273 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Constellation Aquila | 472 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Crucible | 430 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Endeavor | 430 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Hull D | 325 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Merchantman | 115 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Orion | 194 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Prowler | 336 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Reclaimer | 378 |
| - | A2 Hercules | Starfarer Gemini | 451 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Constellation Aquila | 115 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Valkyrie | 47 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Crucible | 73 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Endeavor | 73 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Glaive | 73 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Starfarer Gemini | 84 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Constellation Aquila | 241 |
| - | M2 Hercules | 600i Touring | 110 |
| - | M2 Hercules | 600i Explorer | 68 |
| - | M2 Hercules | C2 Hercules | 147 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Crucible | 199 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Endeavor | 199 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Genesis Starliner | 147 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Hull D | 94 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Prowler | 105 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Reclaimer | 147 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Starfarer Gemini | 210 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Prospector | 120 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | San'tok.yai | 52 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Defender | 52 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 99 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | F7C-M Super Hornet | 94 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Freelancer MIS | 99 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Hurricane | 78 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Khartu-Al | 105 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Razor EX | 120 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Sabre Comet | 89 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Sabre | 105 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Terrapin | 52 |
| - | Mercury Star Runner | Vulcan | 73 |
| Drake Interplanetary | Buccaneer | Cutlass Black | 21 |
| - | Caterpillar | Constellation Andromeda | 116 |
| - | Caterpillar | Constellation Aquila | 36 |
| - | Caterpillar | Retaliator Bomber | 78 |
| - | Caterpillar | Redeemer | 26 |
| - | Corsair | Prospector | 115 |
| - | Corsair | Constellation Taurus | 78 |
| - | Corsair | Freelancer MAX | 120 |
| - | Corsair | Freelancer MIS | 94 |
| - | Corsair | Sabre | 99 |
| - | Corsair | Sabre Comet | 84 |
| - | Corsair | Gladiator | 105 |
| - | Corsair | F7C-M Super Hornet | 89 |
| - | Corsair | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | 73 |
| - | Corsair | F7C Hornet Wildfire | 94 |
| - | Corsair | Vulcan | 68 |
| - | Corsair | Hurricane | 73 |
| - | Corsair | Razor EX | 115 |
| - | Corsair | Khartu-Al | 99 |
| - | Cutlass Black BIS | Gladius | 42 |
| - | Cutlass Blue | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 47 |
| - | Cutlass Blue | Razor | 36 |
| - | Cutlass Blue | Prospector | 31 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Constellation Taurus | 57 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Railen | 21 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | San'tok.yai | 26 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Defender | 26 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Terrapin | 26 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Corsair | -5 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Vulcan | 47 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | Hurricane | 52 |
| - | Cutlass Steel | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | 52 |
| - | Dragonfly Black | Aurora LN | 15 |
| - | Dragonfly Black | MPUV Cargo | 15 |
| - | Herald | 325A | 26 |
| - | Herald | Avenger Titan Renegade | 21 |
| - | Vulture | Freelancer DUR | 45 |
| Esperia | Blade | Constellation Andromeda | 52 |
| - | Glaive | Constellation Aquila | 99 |
| - | Glaive | Starfarer Gemini | 63 |
| - | Talon | Gladius | 36 |
| - | Talon | Reliant Mako (News Van) | 31 |
| - | Talon Shrike | Gladius | 36 |
| - | Talon Shrike | Reliant Mako (News Van) | 31 |
| - | Prowler | Constellation Aquila | 162 |
| - | Prowler | Reclaimer | 68 |
| - | Prowler | Genesis Starliner | 68 |
| - | Prowler | Endeavor | 120 |
| - | Prowler | Crucible | 120 |
| - | Prowler | 600i Touring | 42 |
| MISC | Freelancer MIS | Prospector | 32 |
| - | Freelancer MIS | Freelancer MAX | 37 |
| - | Freelancer MIS | Gladiator | 22 |
| - | Freelancer MIS | Sabre | 16 |
| - | Freelancer MIS | Razor EX | 32 |
| - | Endeavor | Constellation Aquila | 84 |
| - | Endeavor | Starfarer Gemini | 52 |
| - | Hull A | 300I | 36 |
| - | Hull A | Mustang Gamma | 36 |
| - | Hull B | 325A | 94 |
| - | Hull C | Constellation Andromeda | 136 |
| - | Hull D | Constellation Aquila | 178 |
| - | Hull D | Starfarer Gemini | 157 |
| - | Razor | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 15 |
| - | Razor LX | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 21 |
| - | Razor LX | Razor | 15 |
| - | Razor EX | Freelancer MAX | 15 |
| - | Razor EX | SRV | 15 |
| - | Razor EX | Retaliator Base | 15 |
| - | Razor EX | Razor LX | 15 |
| - | Reliant Tana (Skirmisher) | 325a | 15 |
| - | Reliant Sen (Researcher) | Arrow | 21 |
| - | Reliant Mako (News Van) | Gladius | 15 |
| - | Starfarer | Constellation Andromeda | 76 |
| - | Starfarer | Vanguard Warden | 55 |
| - | Starfarer | Vanguard Harbinger | 24 |
| - | Starfarer | Vanguard Sentinel | 39 |
| - | Starfarer | Vanguard Hoplite | 81 |
| - | Starfarer | Blade | 39 |
| - | Starfarer | Retaliator Bomber | 39 |
| - | Starfarer | Apollo Medivac | 39 |
| - | Starfarer Gemini | Constellation Aquila | 63 |
| - | Starfarer Gemini | Mole | 47 |
| Origin Jumpworks | 350r | Freelancer | 28 |
| - | 350r | F7C Hornet | 28 |
| - | M50 | Gladius | 22 |
| - | 85X | Aurora CL | 15 |
| - | 100i | Dragonfly Black | 18 |
| - | 100i | Dragonfly Yellowjacket | 18 |
| - | 100i | MPUV Personnel | 22 |
| - | 100i | Mustang Beta | 22 |
| - | 100i | X1 Baseline | 22 |
| - | 125a | 100i | 22 |
| - | 125a | 85X | 19 |
| - | 125a | Avenger Titan | 14 |
| - | 125a | Ursa Rover | 19 |
| - | 125a | X1 Force | 19 |
| - | 135C | 100i | 27 |
| - | 135C | 125a | 15 |
| - | 135C | 300i | 19 |
| - | 135C | Cyclone | 19 |
| - | 135C | Mustang Gamma | 19 |
| - | X1 Baseline | Mustang Alpha | 21 |
| - | X1 Baseline | Aurora LN | 15 |
| - | X1 Baseline | MPUV Cargo | 15 |
| - | X1 Velocity | Mustang Beta | 15 |
| - | X1 Velocity | MPUV Personnel | 15 |
| - | X1 Velocity | X1 Baseline | 15 |
| - | X1 Force | Aurora CL | 15 |
| - | X1 Force | X1 Velocity | 15 |
| - | X1 Force | Nox | 15 |
| - | 600i Touring | Constellation Aquila | 152 |
| - | 600i Touring | Constellation Phoenix | 110 |
| - | 600i Touring | Reclaimer | 57 |
| - | 600i Touring | Starfarer Gemini | 120 |
| - | 600i Touring | Endeavor | 110 |
| - | 600i Touring | Crucible | 110 |
| - | 600i Touring | Eclipse | 162 |
| - | 600i Touring | Genesis Starliner | 57 |
| - | 600i Touring | C2 Hercules | 57 |
| - | 600i Explorer | 600i Touring | 63 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Constellation Aquila | 194 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Prowler | 57 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Genesis Starliner | 99 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Starfarer Gemini | 162 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Endeavor | 152 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Reclaimer | 99 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Crucible | 152 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Hull D | 47 |
| - | 600i Explorer | C2 Hercules | 99 |
| RSI | Apollo Triage | Constellation Andromeda | 23 |
| - | Apollo Triage | San'tok.yai | 44 |
| - | Apollo Medivac | Constellation Andromeda | 49 |
| - | Apollo Medivac | Vanguard Warden | 26 |
| - | Apollo Medivac | Apollo Triage | 36 |
| - | Apollo Medivac | Vanguard Hoplite | 52 |
| - | Constellation Taurus | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 47 |
| - | Constellation Taurus | Razor | 42 |
| - | Mantis | F7C-R Hornet Tracker | 21 |
| - | Mantis | Vulture | 21 |
| - | Mantis | Razor | 15 |
| - | Mantis | Ballista | 21 |
| - | Perseus | Mole | 409 |
| - | Perseus | Carrack | 110 |
| - | Perseus | Carrack W/C8X | 89 |
| - | Perseus | Carrack Expedition | 84 |
| - | Perseus | Carrack Expedition W/C8X | 63 |
| - | Perseus | Merchantman | 57 |
| - | Perseus | Orion | 136 |
| - | Perseus | 600i Explorer | 241 |
| - | Perseus | M2 Hercules | 194 |
| - | Perseus | Hull D | 267 |
| - | Polaris | Constellation Aquila | 535 |
| - | Polaris | Perseus | 183 |
| - | Polaris | M2 Hercules | 357 |
| - | Polaris | Nautilus Solstice Edition | 149 |
| - | Polaris | Hammerhead | 149 |
| - | Polaris | Carrack | 367 |
| - | Polaris | Crucible | 499 |
| - | Polaris | Merchantman | 210 |
| - | Polaris | Orion | 257 |
| - | Orion | Constellation Aquila | 246 |
| - | Orion | Starfarer | 246 |
| - | Orion | 600i Touring | 194 |
| - | Orion | Reclaimer | 215 |
| - | Orion | Genesis Starliner | 215 |
| - | Orion | Prowler | 173 |
| - | Orion | M2 Hercules | 85 |
►10◄ CROSS-CHASSIS UPGRADES (CCUS), DOWNGRADE
╚════════════════════════════════════════╝
CCUs from more to less expensive ships
| Target ship manufacturer | Target ship | Upgrade from | Price, $ |
|---|---|---|---|
| Aegis Dynamics | Eclipse | Redeemer | 64 |
| - | Eclipse | Caterpillar | 17 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Constellation Aquila | 17 |
| - | Vanguard Hoplite | Constellation Andromeda | 30 |
| - | Reclaimer | Hull D | 94 |
| - | Reclaimer | Merchantman | 78 |
| - | Vulcan | Defender | 26 |
| - | Vulcan | Terrapin | 15 |
| - | Sabre | Constellation Taurus | 32 |
| - | Sabre | Freelancer MIS | 16 |
| - | Sabre Comet | Constellation Taurus | 52 |
| - | Retaliator Bomber | Redeemer | 36 |
| - | Vanguard Harbinger | Redeemer | 57 |
| - | Vanguard Sentinel | Redeemer | 42 |
| - | Vanguard Warden | Redeemer | 26 |
| - | Vanguard Warden | Hull C | 26 |
| Anvil Aerospace | F7C-M Super Hornet | Constellation Taurus | 47 |
| - | F7C Hornet Wildfire | Constellation Taurus | 37 |
| - | Gladiator | Constellation Taurus | 26 |
| - | F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker | Defender | 21 |
| - | Hurricane | Defender | 21 |
| - | Gladiator | Constellation Taurus | 26 |
| - | Gladiator | Cutlass Blue | 28 |
| - | Valkyrie | Hull D | 42 |
| - | Valkyrie | Merchantman | 47 |
| - | Valkyrie | C2 Hercules | 31 |
| Aopoa (Xi'an) | Khartu-Al | Constellation Taurus | 31 |
| Consolidated outland | Mustang Delta | Hull A | 15 |
| Crusader Industries | Genesis Starliner | Hull D | 73 |
| - | Genesis Starliner | Merchantman | 73 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Hull D | 31 |
| - | C2 Hercules | Merchantman | 42 |
| - | M2 Hercules | Orion | 52 |
| Drake Interplanetary | Corsair | Defender | 42 |
| Esperia | Prowler | Merchantman | 120 |
| - | Prowler | Hull D | 105 |
| MISC | Freelancer MIS | Constellation Taurus | 37 |
| - | Freelancer MIS | Cutlass Blue | 37 |
| - | Razor | Freelancer MAX | 15 |
| - | Razor EX | Constellation Taurus | 15 |
| - | Razor EX | Cutlass Blue | 15 |
| - | Starfarer | Constellation Aquila | 37 |
| - | Starfarer | Caterpillar | 18 |
| Origin Jumpworks | 350r | Cutlass Red | 15 |
| - | 600i Touring | Hull D | 110 |
| - | 600i Touring | Prowler | 110 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Merchantman | 152 |
| - | 600i Explorer | Carrack | 99 |
| RSI | Apollo Triage | Mercury Star Runner | 42 |
| - | Orion | Carrack | 120 |
Click here to continue to 2nd part of the store
╚═══════════════════════════════╝
2024.05.15 08:11 cynycal Check your digital orders!
I found out by accident that I subcribed to Amazon Music on...4/24. CS chat text:
Hello, as I check here, your Amazon Music Unlimited 3 months free trial subscription was activated from your Echo dot with Alexa via voice purchasing, this gets activated if you ask Alexa to play a specific song, playlist, or podcast because you cannot do these features with your free Prime Music only, it will only play music on shuffle. To prevent accidental purchase in the future with Alexa, you may turn off voice purchasing feature on your Alexa app, the changes will apply to all your echo devices. To do that, just follow these steps:
submitted by cynycal to amazonecho [link] [comments]
Hello, as I check here, your Amazon Music Unlimited 3 months free trial subscription was activated from your Echo dot with Alexa via voice purchasing, this gets activated if you ask Alexa to play a specific song, playlist, or podcast because you cannot do these features with your free Prime Music only, it will only play music on shuffle. To prevent accidental purchase in the future with Alexa, you may turn off voice purchasing feature on your Alexa app, the changes will apply to all your echo devices. To do that, just follow these steps:
Also posted on Alexa.
- Open the Alexa app.
- Open More and select Settings.
- Select Account Settings.
- Select Voice Purchasing.
- Select Purchase Controls
- Turn Voice Purchasing on or off.
2024.05.15 08:01 cynycal Check your digital orders!
I found out by accident that I subcribed to Amazon Music on...4/24. CS chat text:
Hello, as I check here, your Amazon Music Unlimited 3 months free trial subscription was activated from your Echo dot with Alexa via voice purchasing, this gets activated if you ask Alexa to play a specific song, playlist, or podcast because you cannot do these features with your free Prime Music only, it will only play music on shuffle. To prevent accidental purchase in the future with Alexa, you may turn off voice purchasing feature on your Alexa app, the changes will apply to all your echo devices. To do that, just follow these steps:
submitted by cynycal to alexa [link] [comments]
Hello, as I check here, your Amazon Music Unlimited 3 months free trial subscription was activated from your Echo dot with Alexa via voice purchasing, this gets activated if you ask Alexa to play a specific song, playlist, or podcast because you cannot do these features with your free Prime Music only, it will only play music on shuffle. To prevent accidental purchase in the future with Alexa, you may turn off voice purchasing feature on your Alexa app, the changes will apply to all your echo devices. To do that, just follow these steps:
- Open the Alexa app.
- Open More and select Settings.
- Select Account Settings.
- Select Voice Purchasing.
- Select Purchase Controls
- Turn Voice Purchasing on or off.
2024.05.15 07:47 Sexultan Back Up vent
Just came here to vent. Pls ignore.
I absolutely hate this app. I have so many problems with it, but I really want to talk about the back up issue.
My father asked me to transfer everything from one phone to another, including WhatsApp, Telegram, some bank apps and some apps for documents.
Of course having already experienced how bad WhatsApp transfer is before, I left it for last.
I did Telegram first. After receiving a swift sms verification, I was done. Everything, from chat history, to call history wqs preserved, and Telegram was available for use on both phones at the same time! What a marvel of an app.
Other apps didn't take me more than 5 minutes. A bank app required a sms code and face verification. Done.
Now I spent what seems to be about 10 minutes. I was sure I would be done in an hour or so. I was so wrong.
Firstly I downloaded WhatsApp on the new phone. It asked me for contact and media. Sure, let's do that.
They added new, QR feature? Awesome! Finally, some semblance of progress from the devs.
Now I enabled QR and waited. Looks like it needs more than hour. Dang it. Okay, I'll come back later to— Oh, no since the first phone is buggy it turned off on half the charge.
That's okay, I could just start again. And it even went straight up to previous 45%! I got so hopeful.
Now, the moment of truth. WhatsApp asked me for a name of my profile. I enter it and... Initialization. Initialization... More initialization?
Error.
Phone restart, airplane mode, nothing helped. Looks like I needed not to give WhatsApp any rights.
Seems I need to delete it and try again. But wait, I'll have to enter WhatsApp on the old phone again. Sigh...
I do that. I did everything at 3PM, so yeah, all chat history from 2AM to 3PM is gone. Of course, of course...
Now I try again, more sms verification. I don't give it rights to my contacts. Then it asks me to give rights to media and contacts for a backup. I remember the advice and don't do it.
And am greeted with no chat history. There isn't even a button to restore from a local/drive backup. Everything has to be done during installation. Of course, what else did I expect.
I enter on the old phone again and then on the new again. But this time, some issues sms verification block me! Attempt after 7 hours they tell me. What the heck? What do you mean whopping 7 hours? What about firstly make it a 5 minute then increment, who STARTS with a 7 hour block?!?!?
Oh, I can make a call. Well, that should— "We can't call you. Attempt after an hour"
...
I do. But same issue and an another 1 hour time out.
And so I go to sleep. When I get to it I'll try the old Google Drive backup this time
Regardless, I am so pissed. Why does any other app needs less than 5 minutes of attention to get a backup, and the most popular messanging app in the world needs me to spend at least an hour (for downloading backups and everything), that can stretch up to multiple days if I am unlucky with their systems.
I wish everyone I knew switched to Telegram instead.
submitted by Sexultan to whatsapp [link] [comments]
I absolutely hate this app. I have so many problems with it, but I really want to talk about the back up issue.
My father asked me to transfer everything from one phone to another, including WhatsApp, Telegram, some bank apps and some apps for documents.
Of course having already experienced how bad WhatsApp transfer is before, I left it for last.
I did Telegram first. After receiving a swift sms verification, I was done. Everything, from chat history, to call history wqs preserved, and Telegram was available for use on both phones at the same time! What a marvel of an app.
Other apps didn't take me more than 5 minutes. A bank app required a sms code and face verification. Done.
Now I spent what seems to be about 10 minutes. I was sure I would be done in an hour or so. I was so wrong.
Firstly I downloaded WhatsApp on the new phone. It asked me for contact and media. Sure, let's do that.
They added new, QR feature? Awesome! Finally, some semblance of progress from the devs.
Now I enabled QR and waited. Looks like it needs more than hour. Dang it. Okay, I'll come back later to— Oh, no since the first phone is buggy it turned off on half the charge.
That's okay, I could just start again. And it even went straight up to previous 45%! I got so hopeful.
Now, the moment of truth. WhatsApp asked me for a name of my profile. I enter it and... Initialization. Initialization... More initialization?
Error.
Phone restart, airplane mode, nothing helped. Looks like I needed not to give WhatsApp any rights.
Seems I need to delete it and try again. But wait, I'll have to enter WhatsApp on the old phone again. Sigh...
I do that. I did everything at 3PM, so yeah, all chat history from 2AM to 3PM is gone. Of course, of course...
Now I try again, more sms verification. I don't give it rights to my contacts. Then it asks me to give rights to media and contacts for a backup. I remember the advice and don't do it.
And am greeted with no chat history. There isn't even a button to restore from a local/drive backup. Everything has to be done during installation. Of course, what else did I expect.
I enter on the old phone again and then on the new again. But this time, some issues sms verification block me! Attempt after 7 hours they tell me. What the heck? What do you mean whopping 7 hours? What about firstly make it a 5 minute then increment, who STARTS with a 7 hour block?!?!?
Oh, I can make a call. Well, that should— "We can't call you. Attempt after an hour"
...
I do. But same issue and an another 1 hour time out.
And so I go to sleep. When I get to it I'll try the old Google Drive backup this time
Regardless, I am so pissed. Why does any other app needs less than 5 minutes of attention to get a backup, and the most popular messanging app in the world needs me to spend at least an hour (for downloading backups and everything), that can stretch up to multiple days if I am unlucky with their systems.
I wish everyone I knew switched to Telegram instead.
2024.05.15 07:27 Drazzirg Switched from T Mobile. New phones don’t work
Mannnnnnn. I just spent over three hours on the chat with several different people and all five of my families new iPhones do not work.
Long story short. Wanted to switch from T Mobile. Ordered the phones online through the Verizon chat and set up the unlimited plus plan for 5 lines. During the order they had me fill out a form with my SSN, name, etc; to make an account. Phones get ordered and we have to provide the transfer pin to have all 5 phone numbers ported over. All of it gets confirmed and completed.
Fast forward a couple of days and the phones are here. I pull them out and we start trying to set them up per Verizon’s guide. None of the eSIMs work. We all can back up our phones but when you try to transfer over it says the SIM is not supported. I’ve tried everything. I’ve even entered in the wrong pin? a few times in the SIM settings and am now being asked for a PUK code. Every chat agent gave me a different solution and none of them worked. I tried turning both the new and the old phones off for 5 minutes, didn’t supply me with a PUK code, told me my account was never created, wait until midnight and it will be fixed, give it a few more hours to “synchronize”. I don’t understand how in a retail store this can be done in an hour or so but I’m being told I need to wait hours or until midnight(which didn’t work).
The chat couldn’t even tell me why this happened. Does anyone have any insight? At this point I have 5 brand new iPhones that are paper weights.
submitted by Drazzirg to verizon [link] [comments]
Long story short. Wanted to switch from T Mobile. Ordered the phones online through the Verizon chat and set up the unlimited plus plan for 5 lines. During the order they had me fill out a form with my SSN, name, etc; to make an account. Phones get ordered and we have to provide the transfer pin to have all 5 phone numbers ported over. All of it gets confirmed and completed.
Fast forward a couple of days and the phones are here. I pull them out and we start trying to set them up per Verizon’s guide. None of the eSIMs work. We all can back up our phones but when you try to transfer over it says the SIM is not supported. I’ve tried everything. I’ve even entered in the wrong pin? a few times in the SIM settings and am now being asked for a PUK code. Every chat agent gave me a different solution and none of them worked. I tried turning both the new and the old phones off for 5 minutes, didn’t supply me with a PUK code, told me my account was never created, wait until midnight and it will be fixed, give it a few more hours to “synchronize”. I don’t understand how in a retail store this can be done in an hour or so but I’m being told I need to wait hours or until midnight(which didn’t work).
The chat couldn’t even tell me why this happened. Does anyone have any insight? At this point I have 5 brand new iPhones that are paper weights.
2024.05.15 07:22 MariamTin Got this one, yet? 👀 I banked $50 just yesterday, and over $450 in the past month!
 | PrizePool submitted by MariamTin to referralcodes [link] [comments] https://links.getprizepool.com/PAPmJ7kJAIb MUST ENTER REFERRAL CODE 8B329 WHEN ASKED!
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2024.05.15 07:13 OkCut8059 My nightmare experience working for Ross Dress For Less
Instead of typing one long paragraph, here are the worst parts of that job. Feel free to pick and choose what to read.
submitted by OkCut8059 to retailhell [link] [comments]
- manager said my first day I would just be watching videos all day then go home. My actual real day on the job would be the following day. Show up on my first day, watch the videos for 5 hours, then all of a sudden they threw me on the cash registers with no warning. I was not trained at all. So I was there all day from 10am to 10pm with no break.
- I was not trained. Period. I was thrown into work and when I asked how to do something, other employees were SO bothered to help me and sometimes pretended like they didn’t hear me. I would get screamed at and berated for not knowing how to do something when I kept asking.
- There is no actual system you can use to look up the price of an item if it’s missing a price tag. They give you a list of items that are similar to the product, and you the cashier, have to pick which price you think is best. There is no actual no real way of knowing what the actual price is. That sucks for both me and the customer.
- Managers played favorites and their favorites were allowed to leave the store whenever they wanted to go get Starbucks, even when still on the clock. They’d be gone for an hour doing god knows what when I needed help at the register.
- going to the bathroom counted as a break.
- I was verbally harassed by one employee who always told me that his insults were meant to be taken as a joke. But being called a whore and a slut every shift started to not be funny anymore. I complained to a manager and they thought I was being dramatic and needed to lighten up because the employee harassing me was gay, so that apparently meant that “it’s all in good fun”. I DID NOT KNOW THIS EMPLOYEE LIKE THAT FOR HIM TO JOKE LIKE THIS WITH ME. I DID NOT KNOW HIM ON A PERSONAL LEVEL AT ALL.
- One particular manager made my life a living hell by not doing her job when I needed her to. Cashiers cannot return items over $50 without a manager approving the return first. They have to put in a a manager code into the system first. Every time I had a customer returning something over $50, I would call up this manager to put in her code. When I tell you she would never come, she would NEVER come. Period. One time a customer was in a hurry to leave and was so upset that this manager wasn’t coming to help me. When I tell you I waited 15 minutes for this manager to simply walk up to the front of the store to type in four numbers…you should’ve seen the look on the customers face. She was so angry, not just because she had to wait, but she felt sorry for me that this is what I had to deal with everyday. All that manager does is sit in the office on her phone all day and eat. She will even turn off her walkie talkie so no one can page her. She simply couldn’t be bothered to work.
- the same manager above also one time called me at 4am to come open the store. We didn’t open until 10am.
- I worked with an insufferable nursing student who body shamed me and basically called me every horrible thing a girl could be called…all because I said I didn’t enjoy going to the gym. I looked her up randomly one day and found out she’s dating a guy named Simon except that his name is spelled “Semen”. So I guess karma took care of that one.
- Both during and after my employment I complained to HR about all of the above and NOTHING was ever done about it. I wrote a brutal but respectful review on all their job networking platforms just for the reviews to be taken down because they don’t want to admit what goes on in their stores.
2024.05.15 07:13 nehru007 Unlock Savings and Free Service Plans with Tracfone Referral Code
Unlock Savings and Free Service Plans with Tracfone Referral Code HCPW-663D
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2024.05.15 07:01 x_AnCi_x 8 Free Codes
 | I have got 8 Free codes to giveaway! Please send me a dm/pm (chat message) of which one you want.:) Will comment once all are taken submitted by x_AnCi_x to Webkinz [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 06:35 _kaleb_ Me 32M, wife 28F, with child 7 together 11 years married 5. Years of hardship/bad luck, recent affair. LONG story. Advice?
So the last few years have been rough.
*note* if you're a "cheaters will always be cheaters type" tldr is don't bother reading or commenting
BACKSTORY 2019-2023 child nearly annual broken bones, lots of stress and specialist visits.
2018-2024 my wife got her associates as a medical assistant and is almost done with her bachelor's and final quarter internship while working full time and that has been hard for me. The lack of time for me and my son has really made an impact.
2019 I was injured at work and 2020 had my first surgery to try and preserve an ankle joint. That surgery ended up failing and while recovering I ended up mangling 2 fingertips in a wood jointer. 2020 I had to make the transition to a sahd on workers comp and have been since then. My lifestyle of hiking and fishing was upended because I could barely be on my feet 3 hours a day and uneven ground killed me not to mention the whole covid thing was pretty isolating.
All of 2021 was supporting her being a surrogate for a couple in City X (their egg/sperm). So, lots of trips checks and giving her injections. It was kind of proving myself to her because I was terrified when our son was born in 2017 and didn't help as much as I should have. Especially the first 3 months. Really, I didn't find out until later. We had conversations and fights at the time and id step up to do more and she would agree and tell me it was all okay. Then another fight saying I wasn't doing enough/anything and asking more and me being upset and confused. I guess at the time she was afraid to ask more, or tell me what she wanted, or her feelings, and the postpartum depression and initial feelings of abandonment didn't help.
Anyways the surrogacy went okay. I was there and supportive. Rubbing her feet and back. taking on extra load when she was tired etc. And hey I didn't pass out at delivery this time XD The end was a bit hard with 2 inductions needed and a massive 9.5lb baby and a stuck shoulder.
Then a few weeks after birth in November 2021 the nightmare began.
Out of nowhere she started hemorrhaging. She had to have an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding and scans showed a mass. Turned out the surrogate baby's placenta had some cells turn cancerous and attach to her uterus (Choriocarcinoma). 3 months later and the first 3 agent chemo failed, and her numbers were skyrocketing because it turned treatment resistant. They had to hit it with 5 types of chemo (EMACO) leaving future fertility a coin toss but more than a hysterectomy. By May 2022 the tumor marker was gone, but it was 6 months of intense monitoring and 6 months of monthly monitoring. The whole time she was in an intense spiraling depression questioning life. The meaning of all it, and how all her childhood trauma was fair. That no god would let a child live that. And questioning every decision in her life and wondering what things could have been like if she went a different direction. Feeling like she missed out on opportunities early in life. If this might be all there is (we have been together since she was 17). She said she felt like reality wasn't real and this was make believe at times.
Summer 2022 she made a new mom friend. She was pretty toxic and selfish. She used my wife for personal benefit and to go places. Yelled at her kids and treated the oldest from a prior marriage as less than (girl doesn't know her dad and when she mentioned she was part Mexican she freaked out and denied it because of how conservative and anti Mexican her new dad and his family is). Like never offered a dime, but expected food, gas, tickets, and gifts. She drove my wife nuts with that behavior. but she was desperate for a friend and loved her kids. Her friend would just talk shit about her partner pretty constantly and say my wife should be unhappy in her relationship too. Shit talking husbands behind their backs became like a mutual thing and I def hated it
Sometime 2023 she jumped into fantasy romance and fantasy smut /erotica. This progressed to an AI chat smut generator.
May 2023 monitoring was over and she was officially cancer free and had been on a health/mental health quest..
The mental health part started early in the year and she was seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety alone as well as her long list of childhood trauma. Off hand her therapist told her a few times she didn't know maybe just divorce me or something. I was super uncomfortable with this as it was completely outside her practicing scope and I didn't feel she should be providing relationship guidance, especially without me or the rest of the story. I felt a bit attacked and didn't even get the chance to give my perspective or account and felt that is pretty important after being here for a decade. A lot of negative points get omitted by her.
Summer 2023 she had some tough diagnosis for other chronic issues. Narcolepsy Dissociative Identity disorder Depression And a sleep disorder
I initially rejected this as I didn't want to accept these chronic and incurable conditions and insisted it has to be something else, that she's okay. It was taken as rejection of her.
Fall 2023 she reached out to a childhood ex bf a few states away and started an emotional affair. They kept in infrequent contact over the years and nothing ever came of it before. He has been unable to move past her or have meaningful relationships in 13 years. At first he pushed her away and rejected it, but after a month by Nov it was a thing. Texting saying I shouldn't worried because they dated before, but he ended up coming out as gay, calls in private, staying later after work. I gave it the benefit of the doubt but got burned. I found out in December the second time she wanted a private call in the car, and I checked her phone.
We started marriage counseling in Jan and I started my own therapy search as well as a condition of hers. She agreed to no longer contact the boy showed me the sent message ending it and blocked him. By Feb I found him listed in her phone as Saraa and found deleted texts and calls. In therapy she wanted to keep him as a friend and only friend and I tried this. She asked if a PO box would be okay for a birthday present, and I said no. That it crossed a line. It was also super close to Valentine's day. Next therapy I couldn't handle the anxiety and feeling physically ill when she used her phone, and we went through Jan again break off block etc.
In Feb the therapist recommended a separate space for conflict as we work on things. That too much conflict triggered her dissociative identity disorder. It was either a hotel as needed or a rv/camper. My wife was set on a camper and the only way to get a newer one was to add my credit/income to hers for a loan and I was uncomfortable on a $20k purchase. She assured me the intent of the camper was working on us and not separating/divorcing. She brought up me not having chores completely done all the time and I poured myself into it if that was making her unhappy over the years.
During this time in March I found out she got the secret PO box and had yet again resumed texting entirely deleting her logs. She had valentines gifts. birthday gifts, long distance electronic bracelets, and had an easter basket coming. Everything was put together into a box to be gotten rid of. That effort I had for chores and making everything spotless kind of died. Like there was that recognition that that obviously wasn't the problem. We lived completely separately for a few weeks until she could make a choice. We split our son and had almost zero interaction. Eventually she chose and I saw a notebook she used once in December. Basically she has started outlining a story envisioning herself as the lead character in once of her romantic fantasies and cast me and the other man as competing love interests
April and early may there was nothing. We did therapy and tackled our issues slowly. Together. Our future plans: college vs baby and the ticking clock of fertility and ifs after chemo. Etc
Last week she was going out for lilac picking and didn't text me for 2 hours and said she was at the beach. Later she showed me something in her email and I saw discord emails about a pw change and login. One bad gut feeling later and the next morning I see she deleted the discord emails and check our phone plan and her phone and see missing texts. I put in a phone record request for recent texts and text/call logs. She woke up and I said it did it and she said I was disgusting. Then admitted I was right.
She says after breaking it off she was worried he would hurt himself and just wanted to be sure he was okay and admitted to 3 texts and the discord call which i verified. Said that he was in therapy for his issues. She said she didn't want to bring it up to me because I would make it a fight and she thought she could just get away with a few texts to make sure. That she felt responsible for how much he had been hurt too.
So I did what I do with extreme anxiety and checked her work bag. I found an old journal they shared Jan to mid-march. Kind of confirmed again what was going on. Also revealed she lied to me about the trailer, or him? She couldn't get it without me and told him it was to work on separating from me easier. Yeah I kept pics in case this goes downhill because yeah, I'll gun for EVERYTHING. I'm sure that being tricked into signing a $20k contract under false pretenses for her personal benefit, secret po boxes, lying to our therapist repeatedly, secret texts, expecting gifts from the other man, career over spending time with family and a serious personality disorder on top of narcolepsy making a job hard to keep down wont do her favors at divorce/custody hearings.
So its all fresh for me again. I already have extreme anxiety and the autism doesn't help with reading/understanding people the best, although my gut intuition and pattern recognition are catching stuff fine.
WHERE I THINK I AM
Looking back, I can see that the personality disorder and narcolepsy are apparent. Dream delusion and memory issues from the narcolepsy make separating dream from reality hard as well as just recalling what happened. So whether not the "not feeling like reality is real" was a dream delusion or a full-blown dissociative episode... I can also see that messaging him was a "new" personality state. Maybe it's a manifestation of the trauma of nearly dying from cancer, maybe it's a fragment of her young identity that was created to survive her traumatic childhood resurfacing after nearly dying. But her interests and perspective massively shifted at that time and there was a clear separation between her with me and her with him. It was like this regression back to 15. Like she was molding an identity to fit his desires and interests. She took up tarot and witchy books, different music, painting, rockhounding (my interest), dried bouquets, dyed her hair and got multiple piercings. Even getting caught there was that click in her whole demeanor.
I can see how her friend may have jaded her towards me by all the shit she talked about HER husband. I can see that throwing herself into fantasy smut to cope flooded her with portrayals of unrealistic romance. That she progressed that by using an AI smut bot to hold those conversations with. Then she directly tried to process her own reality through the lens of those novels in that journal.
This "relationship" was "I love you, we can be together in 10 years". He wasn't going to leave his cushy job. Or his state. He didn't want to be a stepdad. He didn't want to support her career or have any involvement in it. She couldn't leave my state. Never saw illicit photos. No discussion of sex. It was like exactly what you think some lovestruck preteens would come up with. Like just a fantasy. No talk of bills or finances. Of moving. Of any substantial tangible entanglement.
Somehow that's easier to handle
I love her and don't want to leave her. But i desperately think she needs serious help and have told her I want her to do therapy 2x a month (on top of marriage therapy 2x).
I also think if a secret or deleted text happens again, I've got to take off the kid gloves and fight for it all. Cause well showing up at the dude's door would end in prison.
I'm sure this happening right as I fully got over last time and took a trust leap of faith on a "gay" friend that burned me will make it harder. I get the last few years have been garbage luck and I get almost dying can have profound affects though. She had been utterly loyal for 5 years (believe me I checked as we agreed to ie open book). Tying to see this with an open mind.
I get my exact expectations are muddy and part of this is just putting it into words to process for me, but I value if someone has any good input
submitted by _kaleb_ to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
*note* if you're a "cheaters will always be cheaters type" tldr is don't bother reading or commenting
BACKSTORY 2019-2023 child nearly annual broken bones, lots of stress and specialist visits.
2018-2024 my wife got her associates as a medical assistant and is almost done with her bachelor's and final quarter internship while working full time and that has been hard for me. The lack of time for me and my son has really made an impact.
2019 I was injured at work and 2020 had my first surgery to try and preserve an ankle joint. That surgery ended up failing and while recovering I ended up mangling 2 fingertips in a wood jointer. 2020 I had to make the transition to a sahd on workers comp and have been since then. My lifestyle of hiking and fishing was upended because I could barely be on my feet 3 hours a day and uneven ground killed me not to mention the whole covid thing was pretty isolating.
All of 2021 was supporting her being a surrogate for a couple in City X (their egg/sperm). So, lots of trips checks and giving her injections. It was kind of proving myself to her because I was terrified when our son was born in 2017 and didn't help as much as I should have. Especially the first 3 months. Really, I didn't find out until later. We had conversations and fights at the time and id step up to do more and she would agree and tell me it was all okay. Then another fight saying I wasn't doing enough/anything and asking more and me being upset and confused. I guess at the time she was afraid to ask more, or tell me what she wanted, or her feelings, and the postpartum depression and initial feelings of abandonment didn't help.
Anyways the surrogacy went okay. I was there and supportive. Rubbing her feet and back. taking on extra load when she was tired etc. And hey I didn't pass out at delivery this time XD The end was a bit hard with 2 inductions needed and a massive 9.5lb baby and a stuck shoulder.
Then a few weeks after birth in November 2021 the nightmare began.
Out of nowhere she started hemorrhaging. She had to have an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding and scans showed a mass. Turned out the surrogate baby's placenta had some cells turn cancerous and attach to her uterus (Choriocarcinoma). 3 months later and the first 3 agent chemo failed, and her numbers were skyrocketing because it turned treatment resistant. They had to hit it with 5 types of chemo (EMACO) leaving future fertility a coin toss but more than a hysterectomy. By May 2022 the tumor marker was gone, but it was 6 months of intense monitoring and 6 months of monthly monitoring. The whole time she was in an intense spiraling depression questioning life. The meaning of all it, and how all her childhood trauma was fair. That no god would let a child live that. And questioning every decision in her life and wondering what things could have been like if she went a different direction. Feeling like she missed out on opportunities early in life. If this might be all there is (we have been together since she was 17). She said she felt like reality wasn't real and this was make believe at times.
Summer 2022 she made a new mom friend. She was pretty toxic and selfish. She used my wife for personal benefit and to go places. Yelled at her kids and treated the oldest from a prior marriage as less than (girl doesn't know her dad and when she mentioned she was part Mexican she freaked out and denied it because of how conservative and anti Mexican her new dad and his family is). Like never offered a dime, but expected food, gas, tickets, and gifts. She drove my wife nuts with that behavior. but she was desperate for a friend and loved her kids. Her friend would just talk shit about her partner pretty constantly and say my wife should be unhappy in her relationship too. Shit talking husbands behind their backs became like a mutual thing and I def hated it
Sometime 2023 she jumped into fantasy romance and fantasy smut /erotica. This progressed to an AI chat smut generator.
May 2023 monitoring was over and she was officially cancer free and had been on a health/mental health quest..
The mental health part started early in the year and she was seeing a therapist for depression and anxiety alone as well as her long list of childhood trauma. Off hand her therapist told her a few times she didn't know maybe just divorce me or something. I was super uncomfortable with this as it was completely outside her practicing scope and I didn't feel she should be providing relationship guidance, especially without me or the rest of the story. I felt a bit attacked and didn't even get the chance to give my perspective or account and felt that is pretty important after being here for a decade. A lot of negative points get omitted by her.
Summer 2023 she had some tough diagnosis for other chronic issues. Narcolepsy Dissociative Identity disorder Depression And a sleep disorder
I initially rejected this as I didn't want to accept these chronic and incurable conditions and insisted it has to be something else, that she's okay. It was taken as rejection of her.
Fall 2023 she reached out to a childhood ex bf a few states away and started an emotional affair. They kept in infrequent contact over the years and nothing ever came of it before. He has been unable to move past her or have meaningful relationships in 13 years. At first he pushed her away and rejected it, but after a month by Nov it was a thing. Texting saying I shouldn't worried because they dated before, but he ended up coming out as gay, calls in private, staying later after work. I gave it the benefit of the doubt but got burned. I found out in December the second time she wanted a private call in the car, and I checked her phone.
We started marriage counseling in Jan and I started my own therapy search as well as a condition of hers. She agreed to no longer contact the boy showed me the sent message ending it and blocked him. By Feb I found him listed in her phone as Saraa and found deleted texts and calls. In therapy she wanted to keep him as a friend and only friend and I tried this. She asked if a PO box would be okay for a birthday present, and I said no. That it crossed a line. It was also super close to Valentine's day. Next therapy I couldn't handle the anxiety and feeling physically ill when she used her phone, and we went through Jan again break off block etc.
In Feb the therapist recommended a separate space for conflict as we work on things. That too much conflict triggered her dissociative identity disorder. It was either a hotel as needed or a rv/camper. My wife was set on a camper and the only way to get a newer one was to add my credit/income to hers for a loan and I was uncomfortable on a $20k purchase. She assured me the intent of the camper was working on us and not separating/divorcing. She brought up me not having chores completely done all the time and I poured myself into it if that was making her unhappy over the years.
During this time in March I found out she got the secret PO box and had yet again resumed texting entirely deleting her logs. She had valentines gifts. birthday gifts, long distance electronic bracelets, and had an easter basket coming. Everything was put together into a box to be gotten rid of. That effort I had for chores and making everything spotless kind of died. Like there was that recognition that that obviously wasn't the problem. We lived completely separately for a few weeks until she could make a choice. We split our son and had almost zero interaction. Eventually she chose and I saw a notebook she used once in December. Basically she has started outlining a story envisioning herself as the lead character in once of her romantic fantasies and cast me and the other man as competing love interests
April and early may there was nothing. We did therapy and tackled our issues slowly. Together. Our future plans: college vs baby and the ticking clock of fertility and ifs after chemo. Etc
Last week she was going out for lilac picking and didn't text me for 2 hours and said she was at the beach. Later she showed me something in her email and I saw discord emails about a pw change and login. One bad gut feeling later and the next morning I see she deleted the discord emails and check our phone plan and her phone and see missing texts. I put in a phone record request for recent texts and text/call logs. She woke up and I said it did it and she said I was disgusting. Then admitted I was right.
She says after breaking it off she was worried he would hurt himself and just wanted to be sure he was okay and admitted to 3 texts and the discord call which i verified. Said that he was in therapy for his issues. She said she didn't want to bring it up to me because I would make it a fight and she thought she could just get away with a few texts to make sure. That she felt responsible for how much he had been hurt too.
So I did what I do with extreme anxiety and checked her work bag. I found an old journal they shared Jan to mid-march. Kind of confirmed again what was going on. Also revealed she lied to me about the trailer, or him? She couldn't get it without me and told him it was to work on separating from me easier. Yeah I kept pics in case this goes downhill because yeah, I'll gun for EVERYTHING. I'm sure that being tricked into signing a $20k contract under false pretenses for her personal benefit, secret po boxes, lying to our therapist repeatedly, secret texts, expecting gifts from the other man, career over spending time with family and a serious personality disorder on top of narcolepsy making a job hard to keep down wont do her favors at divorce/custody hearings.
So its all fresh for me again. I already have extreme anxiety and the autism doesn't help with reading/understanding people the best, although my gut intuition and pattern recognition are catching stuff fine.
WHERE I THINK I AM
Looking back, I can see that the personality disorder and narcolepsy are apparent. Dream delusion and memory issues from the narcolepsy make separating dream from reality hard as well as just recalling what happened. So whether not the "not feeling like reality is real" was a dream delusion or a full-blown dissociative episode... I can also see that messaging him was a "new" personality state. Maybe it's a manifestation of the trauma of nearly dying from cancer, maybe it's a fragment of her young identity that was created to survive her traumatic childhood resurfacing after nearly dying. But her interests and perspective massively shifted at that time and there was a clear separation between her with me and her with him. It was like this regression back to 15. Like she was molding an identity to fit his desires and interests. She took up tarot and witchy books, different music, painting, rockhounding (my interest), dried bouquets, dyed her hair and got multiple piercings. Even getting caught there was that click in her whole demeanor.
I can see how her friend may have jaded her towards me by all the shit she talked about HER husband. I can see that throwing herself into fantasy smut to cope flooded her with portrayals of unrealistic romance. That she progressed that by using an AI smut bot to hold those conversations with. Then she directly tried to process her own reality through the lens of those novels in that journal.
This "relationship" was "I love you, we can be together in 10 years". He wasn't going to leave his cushy job. Or his state. He didn't want to be a stepdad. He didn't want to support her career or have any involvement in it. She couldn't leave my state. Never saw illicit photos. No discussion of sex. It was like exactly what you think some lovestruck preteens would come up with. Like just a fantasy. No talk of bills or finances. Of moving. Of any substantial tangible entanglement.
Somehow that's easier to handle
I love her and don't want to leave her. But i desperately think she needs serious help and have told her I want her to do therapy 2x a month (on top of marriage therapy 2x).
I also think if a secret or deleted text happens again, I've got to take off the kid gloves and fight for it all. Cause well showing up at the dude's door would end in prison.
I'm sure this happening right as I fully got over last time and took a trust leap of faith on a "gay" friend that burned me will make it harder. I get the last few years have been garbage luck and I get almost dying can have profound affects though. She had been utterly loyal for 5 years (believe me I checked as we agreed to ie open book). Tying to see this with an open mind.
I get my exact expectations are muddy and part of this is just putting it into words to process for me, but I value if someone has any good input
2024.05.15 06:20 ExtensionMajor2916 Neotonics Reviews: The Truth About Skin & Gut Health
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2024.05.15 05:55 Markusictus How do I 32m fix the rift between my wife 31f and mother 63f?
The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.
How do I mend this relationship between my wife and my mother?
submitted by Markusictus to u/Markusictus [link] [comments]
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.
How do I mend this relationship between my wife and my mother?
2024.05.15 05:52 ozzuneoj QB Desktop Pro Plus 2023: "Connection Has Been Lost" when trying to delete checks... even using a backup from before the problem started??
Huge post, sorry. If you have time to offer any suggestions it would be much appreciated.
I have been doing PC repair (mainly hardware, new PC builds and malware removal) as a bit of a side gig for over 20 years and the last two days have completely wrecked me. In 22 years I have never been unable to help a customer before now.
A small business (friends) I've been doing work for for a few years started having QB crash with a "Connection Has Been Lost" error starting last Friday when they were trying to do payroll. Somehow the owner was able to get through most of the employees (there are less than 10), but eventually the error prevented him from completing payroll for the week. Keep in mind, the file is stored on the internal SSD on this PC. It doesn't seem to crash when doing things other than specific tasks in Payroll. The easiest way to repeat the issue is to go to the Register and delete a check which does it every single time, even if I make a new check and then try to delete it.
Here is the error message in question: https://quickbooks.intuit.com/learn-support/image/serverpage/image-id/68606i0DEEB6774923052A?v=v2
Long story short, I despise software like this for many reasons which I won't get into now, I am fairly proficient with how Windows and DOS applications work, but I do not use Quickbooks myself. Still, I am attempting to help them because I doubt anyone else in our very small town has any more experience with this kind of issue. I helped them install QB 2023 about one year ago, after they had been using 2020.
They have two PCs on a network and the main PC (Office2) hosts the file in multi-user mode and is the system that is used for most of the QB work. All of the troubleshooting steps mentioned were performed on the Host PC with no files being accessed over the network.
I have tried the following:
-Updated QBD Pro Plus 2023 repeatedly (the process was very glitchy) until it somehow managed to show that it was at version R12_17, despite the fact that the website said that R12_15 was the latest. Did this on both systems. Also updated Payroll.
-Ran ALL scans\checks\fixes in Tool Hub and File Doctor many times with varying results. Most notably, the File Doctor says they couldn't fix the company file and to contact support. However, I am able to open the company file and most things work fine except for trying to do certain things in payroll or with checks so it isn't completely corrupted or broken.
-Completely uninstalled all Quickbooks\Intuit programs from both PCs and reinstalled QBD 2023 Pro (Plus) using the download from the website with the license code.
... and this is the kicker:
-Copied the company file from one of the dated backup folders from two weeks ago (a day before the last successful payroll was completed), renamed it, put it in a completely different folder on the desktop... and that has the error now too, despite the problem just starting a week ago.
-Copied that 2 week old (pre-error) company file to the other PC, set that PC to open it in Single User mode, and it STILL goes to "Lost Connection" when doing the exact same thing. Keep in mind, this is on a PC which just had all QB software removed entirely, then freshly reinstalled.
-One thing that baffles me is that the modified dates on the files in the backup folders seemed to update to the current date despite not being opened by QB recently. It's like some part of QB is messing with files in the background, even dated backups!? I opened a folder and watched the modified date change on 2 week old backup file without QB even running! This is possibly the most ludicrous thing I have ever experienced from retail software in nearly 30 years of using PCs.
-Contacted support... went through several of the above steps (again!) with them before they determined I needed speak to a technician. As soon as the "technician" joined, they immediately left the chat and the chat ended.
... much sighing ensued at this point.
Of note: I have also noticed that in Event Viewer there are many many many errors listed for Quickbooks going back to about February. Most of them related to caching issues, and it seems to correlate with the program being closed. The program seems to close very slowly (except when it crashes of course), so that is probably related.
Relevant specs of both systems: Windows 10 i5 10400F 8GB DDR4 NVMe SSD with plenty of free space wired ethernet connection to router\switch
Over the past two days I have worked on this for 8 hours total on-site (mostly waiting for scans, downloads and slow QB operation), and several more at home doing research to try to help these friends of mine.
Looking around here on this subreddit I have just read about using the "Verify Data" and "Rebuild Data" options... for some reason that hadn't come up in any of my searches for this particular problem. I will try those tomorrow, but if anyone else has any suggestions I would love to hear them.
Is there a way to "export" the company data to get it "out" of a corrupted company file? I don't care if it says "hey, this part was corrupted, we couldn't get that..." ... because clearly 90% of the company file is readable and works fine. Anything is better than telling them that if they ever want to pay their employees again they have to dump 15+ years of business records and start over.
Also, for what it's worth, I recall the "Total Transactions" being somewhere in the realm of 250,000, if that matters.
submitted by ozzuneoj to QuickBooks [link] [comments]
I have been doing PC repair (mainly hardware, new PC builds and malware removal) as a bit of a side gig for over 20 years and the last two days have completely wrecked me. In 22 years I have never been unable to help a customer before now.
A small business (friends) I've been doing work for for a few years started having QB crash with a "Connection Has Been Lost" error starting last Friday when they were trying to do payroll. Somehow the owner was able to get through most of the employees (there are less than 10), but eventually the error prevented him from completing payroll for the week. Keep in mind, the file is stored on the internal SSD on this PC. It doesn't seem to crash when doing things other than specific tasks in Payroll. The easiest way to repeat the issue is to go to the Register and delete a check which does it every single time, even if I make a new check and then try to delete it.
Here is the error message in question: https://quickbooks.intuit.com/learn-support/image/serverpage/image-id/68606i0DEEB6774923052A?v=v2
Long story short, I despise software like this for many reasons which I won't get into now, I am fairly proficient with how Windows and DOS applications work, but I do not use Quickbooks myself. Still, I am attempting to help them because I doubt anyone else in our very small town has any more experience with this kind of issue. I helped them install QB 2023 about one year ago, after they had been using 2020.
They have two PCs on a network and the main PC (Office2) hosts the file in multi-user mode and is the system that is used for most of the QB work. All of the troubleshooting steps mentioned were performed on the Host PC with no files being accessed over the network.
I have tried the following:
-Updated QBD Pro Plus 2023 repeatedly (the process was very glitchy) until it somehow managed to show that it was at version R12_17, despite the fact that the website said that R12_15 was the latest. Did this on both systems. Also updated Payroll.
-Ran ALL scans\checks\fixes in Tool Hub and File Doctor many times with varying results. Most notably, the File Doctor says they couldn't fix the company file and to contact support. However, I am able to open the company file and most things work fine except for trying to do certain things in payroll or with checks so it isn't completely corrupted or broken.
-Completely uninstalled all Quickbooks\Intuit programs from both PCs and reinstalled QBD 2023 Pro (Plus) using the download from the website with the license code.
... and this is the kicker:
-Copied the company file from one of the dated backup folders from two weeks ago (a day before the last successful payroll was completed), renamed it, put it in a completely different folder on the desktop... and that has the error now too, despite the problem just starting a week ago.
-Copied that 2 week old (pre-error) company file to the other PC, set that PC to open it in Single User mode, and it STILL goes to "Lost Connection" when doing the exact same thing. Keep in mind, this is on a PC which just had all QB software removed entirely, then freshly reinstalled.
-One thing that baffles me is that the modified dates on the files in the backup folders seemed to update to the current date despite not being opened by QB recently. It's like some part of QB is messing with files in the background, even dated backups!? I opened a folder and watched the modified date change on 2 week old backup file without QB even running! This is possibly the most ludicrous thing I have ever experienced from retail software in nearly 30 years of using PCs.
-Contacted support... went through several of the above steps (again!) with them before they determined I needed speak to a technician. As soon as the "technician" joined, they immediately left the chat and the chat ended.
... much sighing ensued at this point.
Of note: I have also noticed that in Event Viewer there are many many many errors listed for Quickbooks going back to about February. Most of them related to caching issues, and it seems to correlate with the program being closed. The program seems to close very slowly (except when it crashes of course), so that is probably related.
Relevant specs of both systems: Windows 10 i5 10400F 8GB DDR4 NVMe SSD with plenty of free space wired ethernet connection to router\switch
Over the past two days I have worked on this for 8 hours total on-site (mostly waiting for scans, downloads and slow QB operation), and several more at home doing research to try to help these friends of mine.
Looking around here on this subreddit I have just read about using the "Verify Data" and "Rebuild Data" options... for some reason that hadn't come up in any of my searches for this particular problem. I will try those tomorrow, but if anyone else has any suggestions I would love to hear them.
Is there a way to "export" the company data to get it "out" of a corrupted company file? I don't care if it says "hey, this part was corrupted, we couldn't get that..." ... because clearly 90% of the company file is readable and works fine. Anything is better than telling them that if they ever want to pay their employees again they have to dump 15+ years of business records and start over.
Also, for what it's worth, I recall the "Total Transactions" being somewhere in the realm of 250,000, if that matters.
2024.05.15 05:51 MainEarCode Shakepay Code - $20 bonus when you sign up with Shakepay and buy/sell $100 worth of cryptocurrency (Canada)
Shakepay Referral Code : Use the link below to get $20 CAD once you trade atleast $100 worth of cryptocurrency.
Shakepay: https://shakepay.ca/?referrerCode=KRQ31DB
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Already signed up and forgot to use a shakepay referral? Use this link https://shakepay.ca/add-referral and enter code KRQ31DB
submitted by MainEarCode to referralcodes [link] [comments]
Shakepay: https://shakepay.ca/?referrerCode=KRQ31DB
Once complete, the ShakingSats option will become available. Shake your phone daily for free bitcoin.
In order to receive your reward, the new sign up must complete phone, email, and identity verification and purchase at least $100 worth of digital currency.
Already signed up and forgot to use a shakepay referral? Use this link https://shakepay.ca/add-referral and enter code KRQ31DB
2024.05.15 05:37 Altruistic_Essay3127 Voice Unavailable trying to use the speech widget IOS
 | This was working fine up until about 2 hours ago. submitted by Altruistic_Essay3127 to ChatGPT [link] [comments] After installing the official Open AI app on my iPhone, I customize my home page and add the talk/speech widget https://preview.redd.it/snb4uqgvfi0d1.png?width=225&format=png&auto=webp&s=348cf1a9e86676b74909818ea1c2e2f943353cc9 I press this usually it listens and then replies with speech, it's like SIRI, but good. Now it just comes up with this. The option it is suggesting does not exist in the settings https://preview.redd.it/qtvx8uk3gi0d1.png?width=544&format=png&auto=webp&s=16cc5ffee1124a77178075129698328657c8d0cc Any ideas? So far I have.. - Reinstalled the app - Signed in and out of the app - Tried on WIFI and Mobile Data - Restarted the phone - Asked chatGTP(lol) - Checked their services were all up - Checked the app is up to date I'm using 3.5 free - it has been working brilliantly up until today :( |
2024.05.15 05:26 Sweet-Count2557 92ny Summer Camps Camp Yomi 0
 | 92ny Summer Camps Camp Yomi 0 Have you ever wondered what makes Camp Yomi stand out among the many summer camps in New York? Well, let me tell you, there's something truly special about the experience we offer.From the moment you step foot on our grounds, you'll be captivated by the wide range of activities and the sense of adventure that fills the air. But that's just the beginning.Stay tuned to discover the unparalleled safety measures we have in place, the idyllic location that sets us apart, and the glowing reviews from satisfied campers and parents alike.So, are you ready to embark on a journey that will leave you wanting more?Key TakeawaysCamp Yomi offers a diverse range of activities and programming, including swimming, arts and crafts, drama, and music, allowing campers to express themselves and discover their passions.The camp prioritizes safety, with fully vaccinated campers and staff, adherence to CDC guidelines, and transportation arrangements designed with safety in mind.Located in Rockland County, New York, Camp Yomi provides a refreshing summer camp experience in a serene environment, with easy access to nearby attractions such as hiking trails, parks, historical sites, and museums.Camp Yomi is part of the 92Y Camps network, which offers a safe and supportive environment for children to explore interests, build skills, and develop problem-solving and teamwork abilities through a wide variety of activities.Camp Yomi ActivitiesCamp Yomi offers campers a wide variety of activities to engage in throughout their summer camp experience. One of the highlights of the camp is the swim instruction provided to campers. With two swims per day, campers have the opportunity to improve their swimming skills and build confidence in the water. The instructional swim sessions are led by certified instructors who focus on teaching proper techniques and water safety.In addition to swim instruction, Camp Yomi also offers a diverse range of creative programming. Campers have the chance to explore their artistic side through activities such as arts and crafts, drama, and music. They can express themselves and unleash their creativity in a supportive and encouraging environment.The camp's emphasis on creative programming allows campers to try new activities and discover their passions. Whether it's painting, acting, or playing a musical instrument, campers are encouraged to take safe risks and learn through trial and error. This approach fosters a sense of freedom and exploration, allowing campers to fully immerse themselves in the activities and experience personal growth.Camp Yomi Safety MeasuresEnsuring the safety and well-being of all campers and staff is of paramount importance at Camp Yomi. We take several measures to create a secure environment for everyone involved.Firstly, all campers and staff must be fully vaccinated, following the camp Yomi vaccination requirements. This helps to minimize the risk of any potential health issues and ensures the safety of the entire camp community.In addition to vaccination requirements, Camp Yomi follows additional CDC guidelines to further enhance safety. These guidelines include practicing good hygiene, encouraging frequent handwashing, and promoting social distancing whenever possible. Our focus is on maintaining a warm and fun atmosphere while prioritizing the health and well-being of everyone.Transportation arrangements at Camp Yomi are also designed with safety in mind. Campers travel in air-conditioned Coach buses with a bathroom on board. This ensures a comfortable and secure journey to and from the camp. Our transportation system is well-maintained and regularly inspected to meet the highest safety standards.At Camp Yomi, we believe that safety is a collective responsibility. We have a dedicated team of trained professionals who oversee the implementation of safety measures and ensure that all campers and staff are protected throughout their time at camp.Camp Yomi LocationAfter prioritizing safety measures at Camp Yomi, it's important to now explore the camp's location in Rockland County. Located in beautiful Rockland County, Camp Yomi offers a break from the city environment, providing campers with a refreshing experience in the fresh air. Here are three reasons why the location of Camp Yomi is worth considering:Close proximity to New York City: Camp Yomi is conveniently located near New York City, allowing campers to enjoy the best of both worlds. They can escape the hustle and bustle of the city and immerse themselves in nature at the camp, while still being just a short distance away from the vibrant city life.Rockland County attractions: The camp's location in Rockland County offers campers the opportunity to explore and enjoy a variety of attractions. From hiking trails and parks to historical sites and museums, there's something for everyone. Campers can engage in outdoor activities, learn about the local history, and make memories that will last a lifetime.Transportation options: Camp Yomi understands the importance of convenient transportation for campers and their families. The camp provides transportation options, ensuring that campers can easily travel to and from the camp. Campers will travel in air-conditioned Coach buses with a bathroom on board, ensuring a comfortable and hassle-free journey.With its proximity to New York City, the variety of attractions in Rockland County, and convenient transportation options, Camp Yomi's location offers campers the freedom to explore, have fun, and create unforgettable summer memories.Camp Yomi ReviewsBased on the overall rating of 4.5 and positive feedback from Anna Fader, Camp Yomi has received high praise for its engaging activities and enjoyable outdoor experience. The camp Yomi staff is highly regarded for their dedication and expertise in creating a safe and fun environment for campers. The staff ensures that all campers and staff are fully vaccinated, and they follow additional CDC guidelines to maintain a secure environment. Camp Yomi takes safety seriously, providing campers with convenient transportation options in air-conditioned Coach buses equipped with a bathroom.Camp Yomi facilities are well-maintained and offer a range of amenities to enhance the camp experience. The location in beautiful Rockland County provides a break from the city environment and offers a refreshing experience in fresh air. Campers have access to a wide variety of activities, including two swims per day, sports programming, and an incredible array of creative activities. Camp Yomi encourages campers to take safe risks and learn through trial and error, fostering personal growth and development.Feedback from Anna Fader highlights her daughter's enjoyment of the camp and the opportunity to try out new activities. The camp's emphasis on maintaining a warm and fun atmosphere is appreciated by both campers and parents. Anna Fader encourages others to leave a review, emphasizing the positive experience her daughter had at Camp Yomi.92Y Camps InformationY Camps Information includes a variety of activities and day camp options for children in New York City. Here are three key things to know about Y Camps:Y Camps Benefits:Y Camps offer a safe and supportive environment for children to explore their interests and build lifelong skills.Campers get to participate in a wide variety of activities, including sports programming and an incredible array of creative activities.Y Camps encourage campers to take safe risks, learn through trial and error, and develop valuable problem-solving and teamwork skills.Y Camps Age Groups:Y Camps cater to children of different age groups, providing age-appropriate activities and experiences.The camps offer programs for children as young as preschool age, providing a fun and nurturing environment for their growth and development.Older children and teenagers can also benefit from Y Camps, as they offer programs designed to challenge and engage them, fostering personal growth and independence.Additional Information:Y Camps are part of the KidsUptown network in New York City, ensuring high-quality programming and a strong support system.Located in New York, NY, Y Camps offer convenient transportation options for campers and their families.More information about the camps and additional activities can be found on their website, and their contact number is 212-415-5573.With their diverse range of activities, age-appropriate programming, and numerous benefits, Y Camps provide an exciting and enriching summer camp experience for children in New York City.Contact and Location DetailsLocated in beautiful Rockland County, Camp Yomi offers a refreshing summer camp experience in a convenient location with transportation options available. Our camp is situated in a serene environment that provides a break from the city hustle and bustle, allowing campers to enjoy the fresh air and natural surroundings. With close proximity to New York City, Camp Yomi offers the best of both worlds - a peaceful retreat and easy access to nearby attractions.To provide you with a clear overview of our location and contact details, please refer to the table below:Contact DetailsNearby AttractionsPhone: 212-415-5573- Bear Mountain State ParkEmail: info@campyomi.org- Palisades Center MallWebsite: www.campyomi.org- Hudson River MuseumAddress: 92nd Street Y Camps, 1395 Brick Church Road, Rockland County, NY- Rockland Lake State ParkFor any inquiries or to schedule a visit, you can reach us at the provided phone number or email address. Our friendly staff will be more than happy to assist you.In addition to the enriching camp experience, Camp Yomi is surrounded by various nearby attractions that campers can explore during their time here. From the picturesque Bear Mountain State Park to the Palisades Center Mall for some retail therapy, there is something for everyone. The Hudson River Museum and Rockland Lake State Park are also popular destinations for campers to enjoy educational and outdoor activities.At Camp Yomi, we understand the importance of providing a convenient and accessible location for families. With transportation options available, we strive to make the camp experience as hassle-free as possible. Join us at Camp Yomi for an unforgettable summer filled with adventure, fun, and lifelong memories.Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat Is the Average Camper-To-Staff Ratio at Camp Yomi?The average camper-to-staff ratio at Camp Yomi is low, which has many benefits. With more staff members available, each camper receives more individual attention and supervision. This allows for a safer and more personalized experience.Campers can fully engage in activities and receive guidance when needed. The low ratio also promotes a sense of community and fosters strong relationships between campers and staff.Are There Any Additional Fees for the Sports Programming at Camp Yomi?There are no additional fees for the sports programming at Camp Yomi. Campers can enjoy a wide variety of activities, including sports, without any extra cost.Our camp emphasizes providing a fun and inclusive experience for all campers, and that includes offering a range of activities without any hidden fees.Can Parents Visit and Observe the Camp Activities at Camp Yomi?Yes, parents can visit and observe the camp activities at Camp Yomi. We believe that parent involvement is crucial in creating a positive camp experience for the campers.By observing the activities, parents can witness their child's growth, development, and enjoyment firsthand. It also allows parents to see the safe and secure environment we provide at Camp Yomi.We encourage parents to come and be a part of their child's camp journey.Is Transportation Provided to and From Camp Yomi?Transportation is provided to and from Camp Yomi. We've various transportation options available to ensure a smooth and convenient experience for campers. Our transportation logistics are well-organized, with campers traveling in air-conditioned Coach buses that have a bathroom on board.We prioritize the safety and comfort of our campers during transportation. Whether you're coming from New York City or the surrounding areas, we've convenient transportation options to make getting to camp a breeze.Are There Any Age Restrictions for Campers at Camp Yomi?There are no age restrictions for campers at Camp Yomi. All children are eligible to attend the camp and participate in the wide variety of activities offered.Camp Yomi provides a safe environment for campers to explore, learn, and have fun. With two swims per day, sports programming, and an incredible array of creative activities, campers of all ages can enjoy their time at Camp Yomi.ConclusionIn conclusion, Camp Yomi offers an exceptional summer experience for campers with a wide range of activities and a focus on safety. Located in beautiful Rockland County, it provides a serene natural setting while being conveniently close to New York City.With positive reviews from campers like Anna Fader, it's clear that Camp Yomi delivers a memorable and enjoyable summer camp experience.Join us at Camp Yomi and create lasting memories this summer! submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 05:26 Incman I would love to hear from this subreddit regarding my (actually-this-time-unless-she-changes-) final letter to my nMom.
As the title states, (and despite the existential risk to myself - as I am disabled, impoverished, and my survival is reliant on the room I rent in her attic - given her recent threat to have have me thrown out by the police because she could not handle the feelings she had during the argument that she initiated), I have finally drawn a bright red line in the metaphorical sand regarding her treatment of me. This is the culmination of 8+ years of sustained, one-sided, unreciprocated, and unsuccessful effort on my part to sustain, salvage, repair, or improve our "relationship"
I've learned a lot from the stories and people on this subreddit, and I know if anyone can understand the way that I'm feeling about this it's you guys.
Any input, commentary, criticism, insight, commiseration, etc, is very welcome, and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it.
Anyways, enough preamble, here's the letter in all of my ridiculously-verbose inglory (the square-bracketed disclaimers, etc, were part of the letter as delivered to her, since she is selective illiterate whenever there's something she doesn't like):
[START]
[This document begins with a 382 word AI-generated summary (titled "AI- GENERATED SUMMARY:" below the square-bracketed opening remarks), estimated at 1m23s time required to read. If you are unable or unwilling to make it through even this brief summary, then there is literally nothing else I could possibly do to assist in your comprehension of my positions. The full message following the summary is approximately 2100 words, estimated at approximately 8 minutes to read.]
[If you would like assistance in understanding things I've written that you're struggling to interpret or comprehend, you can go to chatgpt.com (no account necessary), or download the ChatGPT app from the Google Play Store on your phone. You can simply interact with the chat in natural language (in other words, type as though you were texting another person) and it will understand what you are saying. If you are struggling to understand how to interact with it effectively, you can simply inform it of that (in any wording you choose) and it will assist you with altering your approach to receive more effective results.]
AI-GENERATED SUMMARY:
Your son's message is a powerful declaration of his boundaries, grievances, and intentions within your relationship. Here's a breakdown to help you understand:
Preface: He advises you to read with an open mind and, if needed, with assistance due to the emotional complexity.
Declaration of Disengagement: He firmly states his decision to disengage from any form of interaction or acknowledgment outside of essential landlord-tenant matters.
Condemnation of Abuse: He accuses you of perpetuating a cycle of abuse that has deeply impacted his health and stability.
Rejection of Coercion: He dismisses the idea that being evicted is a viable solution to the abuse, highlighting the coercive nature of such a choice, and how it leaves him vulnerable to further harm.
Criticism of Your Behavior: He unreservedly condemns your actions, particularly your exploitation and manipulation, emphasizing the gravity and effects of your conduct.
Challenges to Your Claims: He directly confronts your claims regarding his efforts in the relationship, asserting that he has consistently made extensive attempts to maintain it, despite your accusations to the contrary.
Commitment to Compliance: He unequivocally affirms his commitment to compliance with all landlord-related demands, demonstrating his unwavering respect for your authority as the homeowner.
Demand for Clarity: He demands clear and unambiguous knowledge of the requisite terms when any changes to living arrangement paradigms are demanded, underscoring his willingness to comply with any directives you may issue.
Defense Against Gaslighting: He firmly asserts his unwavering commitment to respecting your property and authority, preemptively refuting any attempts to accuse him otherwise.
Insights into Your Behaviour: He offers insights into patterns in your behaviour, linking them to moments of vulnerability or distress in your life.
Call for Self-Reflection: He urges you to seek professional help for your narcissism and unresolved childhood traumas.
Caution Regarding Gravity: He states that failing to address your responsibilities would be a missed opportunity for both of you to salvage the relationship and resolve underlying issues.
Reiteration of Hope: Despite his current stance, he leaves the door open for reconciliation if you undergo necessary personal growth.
Closure on Unequal Effort: He firmly states that he can no longer sustain the one-sided effort in the relationship and won't continue to do so.
It's evident that he's deeply hurt and demanding acknowledgment, change, and resolution in your relationship.
[end of AI-generated summary; my full, non-AI-generated message follows below]
[I recommend that you read this in its entirety at a time and capacity level where your literacy and comprehension are at their highest level, and preferably with the interpretational assistance of a knowledgeable and competent support person or technological assistant.]
[Presumably, after reading a few sentences or less, your defense mechanisms will be activated and you will eject. However, as with the vast majority of the things I have said to you that have gone unacknowledged, I am completely certain that the contents are cogent and comprehensible, and I believe that with competent support and vulnerable effort you undoubtedly have the raw cognitive capacity necessary for comprehension if you are able to stabilize your emotional reactions and put real effort into the actions necessary for you to understand my words.]
I will not talk to you.
I will not look at you.
I will not approach you.
I will not acknowledge you.
If you attempt to interact with me on any interpersonal level not related to your role as a landlord, I will reserve the right to express just how fucking despicable it is to treat such a vulnerable person with such utter disregard and abuse for so fucking long.
The cycle of abuse you have maintained to destabilize me for your own pathological reasons has caused - and continues to cause - extensive damage to my health, stability, and existence. However, since I know your response to this would likely be some variation of "you're not a victim here [my name], so if I treat you so bad, just leave", I'll preemptively and unequivocally condemn such coercive and abusive tactics, and state again (as I did the other day), that the forced choice between your abuse and life-threatening-homelessness is obviously no choice at all, and leaves me perpetually subject to your coercion and abusive control.
Such exploitation by you is absolutely disgusting, and honestly I understand why you run away from yourself at every single instance where you're in danger of having your lifelong house-of-cards ego even slightly threatened. I know if I treated another human being the way you treat me for even a moment, let alone for the literal years you have done so, I would not be able to face myself in the mirror either. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself.
You say I "don't want to be your son anymore", as though it has been someone other than me making hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of efforts and attempts in order to try and single-handedly keep our relationship alive, and as though it has been someone other than you who has stonewalled me for years about every single legitimate and valid time I attempted to gain even the slightest foothold as a full human being in the owner-pet relationship you have fought so hard to maintain. You siphon, in fact demand, emotional supply whenever you so choose, and then fucking discard me as soon as it appears that I might do anything that would result in you losing even a fraction of a percent of the 99% to 1% imbalance you believe is an immutable part of our "relationship".
I will do my absolute best to be in my room as much as physically possible when you are home, so as to minimize the need to be physically adjacent to you in the course of our respective activities of daily living.
I, again, remain unequivocally committed to my position of deference and compliance towards any rules/demands related to my existence, presence, or activities as your tenant.
As you refuse to provide any sort of unambiguous guidance or clarification whatsoever regarding your shifting demands affecting my ability to access/perform basic activities of daily living, I will continue to act in good faith with respect to my adherence to all previously-established arrangements and protocols (whether codified or de facto) regarding such activities. To the full extent of my abilities, and to the extent that it is physically possible, I will immediately and unequivocally comply with any alterations, additions, or excisions you choose to impose regarding the nature of our physical coexistence as landlord and tenant, regardless of your disregard or intent for any harm to my stability that will ensue as a result.
If you intend to attempt to manipulate or threaten or gaslight me to illegitimately and dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with your rights and demands as the homeownelandlord, then I can assure you that such efforts will be ineffective and inadvisable. The extensive history of my genuine, documented, and unwavering commitment to absolute respect of your home, property, and landlord-tenant authority is unassailable, and nothing has or will change about the good faith nature of my efforts to simply live peacefully and work on stabilizing my health and continuing to attempt to develop basic protocols that offer me the opportunity to seek the ways and means required to sustainably exist, survive, and seek meaning and fulfilment as a human being.
To try and make it a bit more bite-sized (without warranty as to the efficacy of said efforts), since I know when your ego is threatened you conveniently - and dishonestly - become completely unable to read a couple thousand words:
I love you, and goodbye for now. I hope to see you on the other side, but I cannot force you to undertake the journey.
- [name]
[/END]
(any edits are fixing formatting/copy&paste errors)
submitted by Incman to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
I've learned a lot from the stories and people on this subreddit, and I know if anyone can understand the way that I'm feeling about this it's you guys.
Any input, commentary, criticism, insight, commiseration, etc, is very welcome, and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it.
Anyways, enough preamble, here's the letter in all of my ridiculously-verbose inglory (the square-bracketed disclaimers, etc, were part of the letter as delivered to her, since she is selective illiterate whenever there's something she doesn't like):
[START]
[This document begins with a 382 word AI-generated summary (titled "AI- GENERATED SUMMARY:" below the square-bracketed opening remarks), estimated at 1m23s time required to read. If you are unable or unwilling to make it through even this brief summary, then there is literally nothing else I could possibly do to assist in your comprehension of my positions. The full message following the summary is approximately 2100 words, estimated at approximately 8 minutes to read.]
[If you would like assistance in understanding things I've written that you're struggling to interpret or comprehend, you can go to chatgpt.com (no account necessary), or download the ChatGPT app from the Google Play Store on your phone. You can simply interact with the chat in natural language (in other words, type as though you were texting another person) and it will understand what you are saying. If you are struggling to understand how to interact with it effectively, you can simply inform it of that (in any wording you choose) and it will assist you with altering your approach to receive more effective results.]
AI-GENERATED SUMMARY:
Your son's message is a powerful declaration of his boundaries, grievances, and intentions within your relationship. Here's a breakdown to help you understand:
Preface: He advises you to read with an open mind and, if needed, with assistance due to the emotional complexity.
Declaration of Disengagement: He firmly states his decision to disengage from any form of interaction or acknowledgment outside of essential landlord-tenant matters.
Condemnation of Abuse: He accuses you of perpetuating a cycle of abuse that has deeply impacted his health and stability.
Rejection of Coercion: He dismisses the idea that being evicted is a viable solution to the abuse, highlighting the coercive nature of such a choice, and how it leaves him vulnerable to further harm.
Criticism of Your Behavior: He unreservedly condemns your actions, particularly your exploitation and manipulation, emphasizing the gravity and effects of your conduct.
Challenges to Your Claims: He directly confronts your claims regarding his efforts in the relationship, asserting that he has consistently made extensive attempts to maintain it, despite your accusations to the contrary.
Commitment to Compliance: He unequivocally affirms his commitment to compliance with all landlord-related demands, demonstrating his unwavering respect for your authority as the homeowner.
Demand for Clarity: He demands clear and unambiguous knowledge of the requisite terms when any changes to living arrangement paradigms are demanded, underscoring his willingness to comply with any directives you may issue.
Defense Against Gaslighting: He firmly asserts his unwavering commitment to respecting your property and authority, preemptively refuting any attempts to accuse him otherwise.
Insights into Your Behaviour: He offers insights into patterns in your behaviour, linking them to moments of vulnerability or distress in your life.
Call for Self-Reflection: He urges you to seek professional help for your narcissism and unresolved childhood traumas.
Caution Regarding Gravity: He states that failing to address your responsibilities would be a missed opportunity for both of you to salvage the relationship and resolve underlying issues.
Reiteration of Hope: Despite his current stance, he leaves the door open for reconciliation if you undergo necessary personal growth.
Closure on Unequal Effort: He firmly states that he can no longer sustain the one-sided effort in the relationship and won't continue to do so.
It's evident that he's deeply hurt and demanding acknowledgment, change, and resolution in your relationship.
[end of AI-generated summary; my full, non-AI-generated message follows below]
[I recommend that you read this in its entirety at a time and capacity level where your literacy and comprehension are at their highest level, and preferably with the interpretational assistance of a knowledgeable and competent support person or technological assistant.]
[Presumably, after reading a few sentences or less, your defense mechanisms will be activated and you will eject. However, as with the vast majority of the things I have said to you that have gone unacknowledged, I am completely certain that the contents are cogent and comprehensible, and I believe that with competent support and vulnerable effort you undoubtedly have the raw cognitive capacity necessary for comprehension if you are able to stabilize your emotional reactions and put real effort into the actions necessary for you to understand my words.]
I will not talk to you.
I will not look at you.
I will not approach you.
I will not acknowledge you.
If you attempt to interact with me on any interpersonal level not related to your role as a landlord, I will reserve the right to express just how fucking despicable it is to treat such a vulnerable person with such utter disregard and abuse for so fucking long.
The cycle of abuse you have maintained to destabilize me for your own pathological reasons has caused - and continues to cause - extensive damage to my health, stability, and existence. However, since I know your response to this would likely be some variation of "you're not a victim here [my name], so if I treat you so bad, just leave", I'll preemptively and unequivocally condemn such coercive and abusive tactics, and state again (as I did the other day), that the forced choice between your abuse and life-threatening-homelessness is obviously no choice at all, and leaves me perpetually subject to your coercion and abusive control.
Such exploitation by you is absolutely disgusting, and honestly I understand why you run away from yourself at every single instance where you're in danger of having your lifelong house-of-cards ego even slightly threatened. I know if I treated another human being the way you treat me for even a moment, let alone for the literal years you have done so, I would not be able to face myself in the mirror either. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself.
You say I "don't want to be your son anymore", as though it has been someone other than me making hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of efforts and attempts in order to try and single-handedly keep our relationship alive, and as though it has been someone other than you who has stonewalled me for years about every single legitimate and valid time I attempted to gain even the slightest foothold as a full human being in the owner-pet relationship you have fought so hard to maintain. You siphon, in fact demand, emotional supply whenever you so choose, and then fucking discard me as soon as it appears that I might do anything that would result in you losing even a fraction of a percent of the 99% to 1% imbalance you believe is an immutable part of our "relationship".
I will do my absolute best to be in my room as much as physically possible when you are home, so as to minimize the need to be physically adjacent to you in the course of our respective activities of daily living.
I, again, remain unequivocally committed to my position of deference and compliance towards any rules/demands related to my existence, presence, or activities as your tenant.
As you refuse to provide any sort of unambiguous guidance or clarification whatsoever regarding your shifting demands affecting my ability to access/perform basic activities of daily living, I will continue to act in good faith with respect to my adherence to all previously-established arrangements and protocols (whether codified or de facto) regarding such activities. To the full extent of my abilities, and to the extent that it is physically possible, I will immediately and unequivocally comply with any alterations, additions, or excisions you choose to impose regarding the nature of our physical coexistence as landlord and tenant, regardless of your disregard or intent for any harm to my stability that will ensue as a result.
If you intend to attempt to manipulate or threaten or gaslight me to illegitimately and dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with your rights and demands as the homeownelandlord, then I can assure you that such efforts will be ineffective and inadvisable. The extensive history of my genuine, documented, and unwavering commitment to absolute respect of your home, property, and landlord-tenant authority is unassailable, and nothing has or will change about the good faith nature of my efforts to simply live peacefully and work on stabilizing my health and continuing to attempt to develop basic protocols that offer me the opportunity to seek the ways and means required to sustainably exist, survive, and seek meaning and fulfilment as a human being.
To try and make it a bit more bite-sized (without warranty as to the efficacy of said efforts), since I know when your ego is threatened you conveniently - and dishonestly - become completely unable to read a couple thousand words:
- I have never been more disgusted by the actions of anyone or anything more in my entire fucking existence.
- I will continue to be an absolute model tenant, despite the harmful effects of your constant abuse, and I will unequivocally comply with any demands you make with your authority as my landlord. I will explicitly and aggressively defend against any attempts to gaslight me, or attempt to dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with any such demands.
- Feel free at anytime in your life to decide that maybe it might be time to face the fact that - though skillful in your delusion - you are the same scared child you were 40 years ago, and if you ever want to truly and meaningfully experience what it's like to be secure with yourself beneath the false veneer of superficial and ego-protecting interactions you surround yourself with at the exclusion of true and honest existential vulnerability, then you need to seek, engage with, and be honest and vulnerable with, professional clinical care for your intractable narcissism and the lifelong effects and deficits associated with same. In other words, to reductively and rhetorically restate what you disgustingly told me the other day as a means of deflecting from the fact that you couldn't go more than two seconds without contradicting yourself, “get your fucking meds adjusted”.
- When faced with any sort of challenge to your control or authority, your lifelong fear of abandonment has caused you to push people away before they have the opportunity to leave you, resulting in premature, self-created, and misdirected sabotage of significant relationships at the first sign of disturbance or genuine vulnerability. I know you're terrible at recognizing or interpreting patterns or facts, but think, for example, about when your efforts to remove me from your life and/or house have been at their most intense:
- (a) in 2016(ish) when conflicts about my role in helping with the [redacted address][job of cleaning out my grandpa's apartment after Alzheimer's took hold] triggered feelings of grief and fear in you at the decline of your father's health and the inevitability of his then-upcoming death,
- (b) in late 2019 through 2020ish, in the leadup to and aftermath of your father's death, where you threatened or demanded my removal from your house during damn-near every single minor conflict about utterly insignificant household disputes. The vulnerability and grief you felt surrounding his death triggered the core-level unresolved sense of abandonment you carry as a result of the lack of parental affection you received because of, inter alia, the level of care required by your [editor's note: dying of CF as a teenager] sister and resultant lack of parental support available to you as a result,
- (c) in 2021ish, surrounding your mother's acute medical events and her subsequent death, where your treatment of me followed effectively the same patterns and underlying causes as the item above (sans explicit threats of eviction, opting instead for the more oblique and covert references that have been your MO until the recent regression to explicit threats within the past few days).
- (d) in 2024, surrounding the final decline and subsequent death of [dog], where all of the same behaviours described above returned and steadily escalated, culminating in telling me to get the fuck out of your house because I wouldn't stop moving some boxes for 30 minutes, and then telling me that you were going to call the police to have me removed from your house as a result of your inability to force me to stop making accurate statements that damaged your ego and need for unquestioned interpersonal control in your self-appointed role as the sole ruler of the relational hierarchy you fought so hard to maintain.
- You need to actively and vulnerably seek and participate in professional clinical treatment for the lifelong effects of the hollow narcissism that has maladaptively protected you from your deepest childhood injuries and vulnerabilities, at the expense of truly genuine connection with, at the very least, your firstborn and only son.
- [note that the contents of this bullet point are neither a threat of suicide, nor an indication of any intent whatsoever to harm myself or others. I am including this disclaimer to preemptively remove your ability to selectively manipulate my words in order to further gaslight me]
If you want me gone from your house, and life (and possibly my own life, given the extreme existential risk posed by homelessness for a vulnerable person with the significant disabilities I am faced with), then you will have to have me physically removed from your house in cold blood, and until the day you (or I, depending on the order) die you will live with that being the last time you ever saw the son that you took for granted and abused for 32 fucking years while he groveled at your feet begging for even scraps of affection or humanity from the person who constantly love-bombed and discarded him at her convenience to serve her own narcissistic desires worth no regard for the whole entire person she was subjugating to the role of, barely, a pet.
- Be aware that if you choose to remove me from your life as a pathological and assuredly-ineffective avoidance mechanism to try and preemptively shield yourself from the fear of abandonment that is triggered in you as a result of my overwhelmingly valid and necessary actions to demand that you cease your lifelong efforts to subjugate me in your self-created hierarchical position at the top of our unequal relationship, then you will be doing yourself an irreparable disservice by extinguishing whatever sliver of opportunity might remain for you to get the help you need to allow you to finally see me as a real person and begin making real decisions and changes and efforts to participate in efforts to salvage whatever scraps of hope might remain for us to have a relationship before both/either of us die.
- Feel free to ignore and/or conceal the tens of thousands of words of documented history in order to share contextless excerpts of this text within your self-serving echo chambers in your efforts to receive false validation of your delusional victimhood. Or, alternatively, feel free to vulnerably share this in its entirety - along with the full corpus of my messaging regarding the severity of the harms caused by your behaviours - with a competent and knowledgeable mental health professional(s) for the purposes of seeking treatment for your underlying pathologies and working towards genuine growth.
- In the unlikely (though incomprehensibly-or-perhaps-delusionally-still-hopeful) event that you are still reading, I will conclude by saying that the possibility for any hope of salvaging our relationship lies firmly and solely within your control.
- After over 8 years of significant, relentless, documented, often-vilified, and absolutely unreciprocated efforts to single-handedly to put 100% of the effort into a relationship that you reaped the benefits of while remaining unwavering in your abdication of even the slightest of responsibilities, I have run out of ways, means, ideas, and capacity to continue unsuccessfully trying to do both of our parts.
- I am not closing the door to the possibility of reconciliation if/once you have undertaken the extensive individual work you need to do if you are ever going to be able and willing to put the necessary effort into repairing our relationship. But neither am I continuing to continue working outside your closed door hoping that one day I might be able to do enough to influence you to treat me like a full, real, EQUAL, human being.
I love you, and goodbye for now. I hope to see you on the other side, but I cannot force you to undertake the journey.
- [name]
[/END]
(any edits are fixing formatting/copy&paste errors)
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submitted by No-Garlic3317 to travelpromoprocouk [link] [comments]
Before you commit, it offers a 7-day free trial to experience their full anime library offline. With Crunchyroll Premium, you can watch all your favorite shows ad-free and enjoy additional store discounts. Dive into the worlds of One Piece, My Hero Academia, Spy x Family, and many more!