I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/Chemical-Scarcity964
Originally posted to AITAH
Previous BoRU
[New Update]: AITAH for refusing to help my FIL with a vehicle?
Trigger Warnings: emotional manipulation, deaths of loved ones, financial struggles, cancer
RECAP
Original Post: December 3, 2023
I (38F) have been married to my husband (43M) for almost 15 years. My FIL has never really accepted me as family. He referred to me as "my son's wife" for the first 5 years of my marriage & when he convinced us to go halves on a property insisted on only his & my husband's names on a survivors deed, "in case we divorced". In the last few years, he has struggled financially due mostly to poor choices he made. His wife, husband's step mom, is much older & has medical problems leading him to choose to work mostly from home. He has traded in vehicles numerous times in the last few years, supposedly trying to lower his payments, but is always upside-down on the loans that it doesn't work. He is paying close to $1000 a month on a minivan. Now here is my problem.
My FIL is currently trying to guilt trip my husband into giving him one of several vehicles I inherited. I had two uncles pass away 3 weeks apart during the holidays more than a year ago & I am still going through the probate process because they passed so close together. I do not have the court's permission to do anything with their vehicles yet.
He told my husband how much it would help him to have one of the vehicles so that he could let his car go back on repo & not have to make the payments. I may have considered it too, if he had waited more than a couple weeks after my both uncles passed away. I was, quite litterally, knee deep in a horders paradise, trying to clean out their apartment within the month to avoid having to pay rent because i couldnt afford it and had no access to their money (strike one). He picked out which vehicle he wanted, the most valuable of the 4, rather than asking if we had plans for them yet (strike two). Then he asked my husband to give him said vehicle (strike three). As a cherry on top, asked my husband again (still has never asked me) to give him a $10k vehicle after we pay for all the little repairs it needs, of course.
Here is where I might me the Asshole: Do I need the vehicle? No. Could I use the money from its sale? Yes, but I could live without it, too, as our finances are better now. Will I sign it over to him? Never. This is far from the first time that man has shown utter disrespect for me & he can pay for rides before I give him any vehicle. Yes, I am probably being a little childish. The only reason I hesitate, I actually like his wife & it would help her to some extent.
Edit to add: My husband has already told me that the vehicles are mine & I can do whatever I want with them.
Since it's been mentioned a few times: he has been bought out on the property & my name added.
Edit for clarity & to address the most common responses: My husband acts as a buffer against FIL for the sake of my sanity. He has told FIL multiple times that the vehicles are not his to do anything with, but the man is intentionally dense. His wife cannot legally own a car as it cannot be registered in her name (no license) I will not loan/rent him a vehicle as I can't trust that he will maintain it.
 
Relevant Comments
akhoneygirl: Offer him the worst for 3 or 4000!

OP: That's part of it. He wants us to fix & give him the vehicle. All of them need at least a few hundred in repairs. He has no interest in paying us for anything. He is just set on guilt tripping his son. My husband has told me everything from the start & said it's all up to me, my uncles, my vehicles, my decision.

SawwhetMA: So FIL set you up to lose out on a property if your SO passed away before FIL did? I'm glad to hear you bought him out and that's set now . If you find it in your heart to give him one of the vehicles then you may be a better person than I because I'm not sure if I could, given the history. What if (when probate is set and all) you offer to rent him one of the vehicles? Obviously that isn't what he wants, but you'd get some income but still own it to sell it when he was done with the vehicle?
Good luck!

OP: He would run it into the ground & I would end up having to go get it when he refused to pay. It's just frustrating because I like his wife & would consider doing it to help her, if he would just man up & ask. Instead, he tries to play the poor me card.

Dixieland_Insanity: INFO:
How does he know what you're inheriting from your uncles. Why does he think he's entitles to any of it?

OP: He knew my uncles fairly well since they were basically the last of my family. He doesn't really know what the full inheritance is, but the vehicles were the most obvious. He has told him no a couple of times. Everything FIL gets tight on funds he asks again.

Cdn_Giants_Fan: Not The A•H. But that said I would probably sell him one of the vehicles for its bluebook value and say pay 100 bucks a week. And if he says anything about it saybthat perhaps if you weren't such an asshat to me I would've just let you have it. Then if he starts being nice after it's partially paid off tell him hes good. He learns a lesson and you earn some money.

OP: I would never see a dime. He thinks that being "the father" means he is owed something from my husband and, by extension, me. Honestly, even if he offered me full value in cash, I would probably laugh at him & tell him to shove off.

VadersLoversLover: Gift it to your MIL with a lien on it so he can’t change to title.

OP: Due to a medical issue, she can't drive and had to surrender her license. That makes it impossible to register it in her name because she can't be insured as a driver.

 
Update #1: December 11, 2023
You guys asked for an update, so here you go. I have had a long talk with my husband about FIL & his "request" for one of the vehicles I had inherited. I showed him my original post & he got a good laugh out of some of the suggestions (especially the toy car). We have agreed that the only way to handle his constant hints & requests, is for me to draft an email to him. For reference: FIL loves to send me rude & demanding emails when he "feels unheard."
The email will not be sent until I know that probate is done & is as "polite & civil" as I can possibly write it. The jist of the email I typed up is this:
"I understand that you have been asking husband to gift you one of my uncles' vehicles. Unfortunately, you have chosen to speak to the wrong person. I have told you before that, in some things, his business is his & mine is mine. The vehicles that you keep asking about are mine. As such, I have decided that they will be sold at a fair market value. The funds will be split evenly into savings accounts for my daughters, as a seed for their futures. I already have buyers lined up for the vehicles & will be arranging times for them to be collected shortly. I hope you can understand my desire to ensure that my childrens' futures are secure, as my uncles would have wanted."
I am tempted to sign it as "husband's wife" but am undecided right now.
Thank you to everyone who commented on my previous post. Your thoughts & support helped me a lot. I was genuinely on the fence as to whether or not I was being too sensitive about everything. You were all amazing & supportive about the entire mess. I just hope that this email to him puts an end to his covert begging once & for all (at least about this). And yes, my husband is behind me 100% and has no issues with my approach.
 

----NEW UPDATE----

Final Update: May 22, 2024 (five months later)
A few people have reached out to ask so here it goes.
Everything is finally settled. The vehicles are sold, except one I decided to keep for my oldest to learn on when she gets her permit.
I didn't send my FIL the email, although I do still have it saved. Turns out I won't have to. As of a few weeks ago, I am getting a divorce. My, now stbx, husband decided that he no longer wants to play house. He moved out & I am in the process of packing his things. Since the vehicles and my house were all inherited, he has no claim to them or the money from their sale. Yes I double checked the law in my state. If he would have waited a few more weeks, I would have paid off every debt we had, but he didn't. So he saved me a bunch of money by telling me before I commingled my inheritance funds with joint assets.
I don't know how his family will act towards me & our kids when he finally tells them all. His brother has called to make sure he is still allowed to keep in touch but he is the only one I've heard from so far.
Oh and as a bonus: the week before I found out about my impending divorce, my mother (who I was never close to) was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She passed away a week later. She was 58 years old, the same age my uncles were. So, yeah, it's basically just me & my kids against the world now.
Anyway, that's the update.
Relevant Comments
OOP on moving forward with her life and personal issues going on in her family especially health issues

OOP: Thank you. Its kinda sad that your kind words are enough to make me want to cry because it's expected that I am the strong one for everyone else. I don't really get to give myself time to be weak. And you are right. If it were not for my kids, I probably would have been completely broken.
My uncles had other health problems, no cancer at all that I know of & most of our family lived into their 70s and 80s. I am definitely working on getting my little health concerns checked out, though.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

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I have no formal diagnosis yet, but considering how the subject of OCD-like symptoms have been popping up more and more in conversations with my therapist, maybe me checking that out would be on the horizon. This has been a part of my life for six years now, starting with me making sure the faucets and lights would be off before leaving a room. Very subtle, no danger attached to the impulses if they were unchecked or anything. It was a conscious alteration to my standard routine, but I did not mind it.
Now I'm 18 with many other stressors in my life with big changes coming after this summer. Physically losing touch with my friends as we go to different colleges, gaining independence away from home. My symptoms have been at an all-time high the last few months, and this last week has been particularly bad. I check outlets and light switches, ensuring that the latter are always in the off position, as I actively fear house fires consuming everything while I'm at school. Before going to bed I must check that the front door is locked.
That front door is the death of me. I check if both the top and bottom locks are locked, will go back upstairs to my room, only to repeat the process minutes later. What if I was somehow wrong and seeing things? It could definitely be unlocked. What if I had actually *un*locked it, despite that going against my whole prerogative of checking? Someone could break into my house, and that danger I've associated with the impulse has made it so difficult to beat.
The silver lining to all this is that I'm actually identifying how it makes me feel. I've had times where I ignore the impulses, but at the same time the stress associated with all this is higher than it's ever been before. I find it so hard to just step away, but that's what I'm doing right now while writing all this. It comes and goes in waves, I guess.

Alright guys I got this job back in October of 2023 and loved it. But in switching jobs I took a $20k pay cut. When I received the offer I countered and they said gave me an added $2k and said they'd promptly review during their next period (April) and I thought to myself "well I can live off of that salary until that time"
April rolled around and I got a fantastic review. 5/5 across the board except in things I hadn't handled yet. I want to add her that this was a review with 3 people. My mentor coworker, my supervisor and my boss. The review went amazing and at the end they said that the two CEOs would be making the rounds and talking to people individually about how the company is doing and getting feedback. I stated that I wouldnt be in the office the next day or so and that they could find me next week. To me I thought "okay after the CEOs talk to me they'll mention a raise or salary adjustment" easy peasy. However. Two weeks ago by and they're still talking to people (as it's a small office I see people being pulled aside to go into a room with the bosses to talk) and they never talked to me. Now I'm to the point where it seems no longer "acceptable" to go and ask for a raise. (Don't ask me what I was thinking the anxiety and anti-confrontation monster got ahold of me hard)
Now it's almost 3 months later and I still have this shit salary and I am not being paid enough to do what I'm doing. I really just need someone to help me come up with what to say or do to even attempt to get a salary change. They didn't even adjust it for inflaation and I'm struggling. (Please note I can survive on this salary but surviving != Thriving. They're paying me the same salary as someone just out of school and I have 7-8 years experience)
Also want to add that were renovating the office and since I'm involved in some of the decisions I hear constantly that we're 100k+ over budget. So to me maybe they don't have the money? Idfk I know it shouldn't matter but I loved this company when I first got here but now I'm super undervalued and do not give two shits because they aren't paying me well. Please please help. I don't even know how to approach this conversation so far after reviews are done.
*I don't know if this matters but I'm mildly autistic/ADHD so step by step "this is what you write in the subject line of the meeting request" is needed

Cover Art!
Just because you’re transported to another world, doesn’t mean you’ll escape from your pain.
Abused by her parents, thirteen-year-old Frances only wants to be safe and for her life not to hurt so much. And when she and her class are transported to the magical world of Durannon to fight the monsters invading the human kingdoms and defeat the self-titled Demon King, Frances is presented with a golden opportunity. If she succeeds, Frances will have the home she never had. If she fails, Frances will be summoned back to the home she escaped.
Yet, despite her newfound magic and friends, Frances finds that trauma is not so easily lost. She is dogged by her abuse and its physical and invisible scars. Not only does she have to learn magic, she has to survive the nightmares of her past, and wrestle with her feelings of doubt and self-loathing.
If she can heal from her trauma, though, she might be able to defeat the Demon King and maybe, just maybe, she can find a home for herself.
[The Beginning] [<=Chapter 217] [Chapter Index and Blurb] [Chapter 219 June 11 or see the next chapter now on Patreon]
The Fractured Song Index
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***
Ginger makes an offer to Lakadara. The rest of Telkandra's remaining brood discuss the fate of their allies.
“Not good?” Sara asked as Helias strode into the tent and made his way straight to the bottle of wine.
“Not good,” Helias muttered.
Sara nodded woodenly. “Privacy spell?
The tauroll waved his sheathed Fangroar and after pouring himself and his wife a drink, sat down. “We’re safe. Oh Galena, this is really not good.”
“How dead are we?” Sara asked, her tone light.
“We’re not dead. We’re just in a lot of danger and even if we somehow force the humans to retreat, we’ve lost this war,” said Helias.
“Explain.”
Helias drank deep, noting that Sara was also drinking deep as well. “Thorgoth is going after the humans. That part of the plan is as good as it gets. We’ll be attacking them, and using the dragons, whilst our forces hold off Titania. Our objectives are also well-chosen.” Helias buried his head into his hands and let out a deep groan. “But winning this doesn’t change anything.”
“If we can defeat the humans, why won’t that change anything?” Sara bit her lip. “Unless it renders us unable to beat Titania?”
“Yes. Even on the chance we beat the humans we won’t be able to invade them, we won’t be able to defeat Titania. We’d be at a stalemate and both armies would have to withdraw.” His hands dropping to the table, Helias stared at his wife. “And we don’t have any reserves left. We’re going to lose the war, even if Thorgoth lives.”
“If we defeat the humans—”
The general shook his head. “By defeat, I mean we’ll hurt them but we can’t prevent them from withdrawing. We might kill a few of their leaders, their important mages and Otherworlders, but they will still have soldiers. After coming so close, they won’t surrender. They’ll keep attacking until they kill enough of Thorgoth and Berengaria’s supporters that nobody will help them, or until both of them die.”
“Alright so, what do we do?” Sara asked. Helias looked at his wife, noting how still she sat. Her wings were clamped tight to her back and her lips were drawn tight.
“Sara, I don’t have good answers.”
Sara steepled her trembling fingers as best she could. “They’re going to be better than mine. I don’t know anything about war.”
“Right. Well, you need to surrender to the humans if you are captured. Present yourself as a non-combatant. Cry, scream, anything to declare that you don’t mean any harm,” Helias said.
“Why not Titania?” Sara asked.
“She has every incentive to kill you off and far less compunction about doing so. Killing our family off would allow her to have more land to give away to her loyalists. In contrast, the humans have Erlenberg troops fighting with them along with those of the Lightning Battalion. They’re going to be far more friendly to Alavari civilians,” Helias said.
Soft hands, grabbed onto Helias’s waist with a surprisingly firm grip. “What about you? I can get away, but how are you going to survive this?”
“I don’t know. I—”
“Don’t you dare! Our daughter needs her father and I need my husband!”
The general stared at his wife. “Sara, I can’t surrender to the humans if we win. They want me dead.”
Sara refilled Helias’s glass. “Then you need to help Thorgoth defeat them.”
“Then what? We’re never winning this war. Thorgoth is going to be invaded and—”
Cutting him off with the clink of her goblet against the table, Sara hissed, “And what? Why think that far? We can plan for that after this battle, so long as you are still here and with me.”
Letting out a breath Helias pushed his hair back and allowed himself a sigh. Reaching across the table, he took his wife’s hand.
“Sara, you’re right, but you know you can escape this if Thorgoth is defeated.”
The harorc placed her other hand on top of his. “We’re partners. I need you. We need you. So promise me that you’ll do your damndest to live.”
Helias closed his eyes and nodded. “I promise. First things first, before we turn in we need to talk to the dragons.”
***
Fennokra stalked slowly toward the camp. This wasn’t the collapsed side-passage where she and Yolandra had some privacy. This was the main camp where Thorgoth and their army were preparing for what had to be the final battle.
It was also where her siblings were swallowing the last of what seemed to be a side of salted pork.
“Velkandra, Makentra, we need to talk.”
Their second-eldest sister licked her lips, her neck rising to Fennokra’s level. “I am assuming you mean in private?”
“Of course.” Fennokra could see Velkandra’s haunches tensing to raise herself higher. Her sister was trying to look down on her. Allowing her head to dip, she held her height.
“Alright.” Velkandra flicked her tail and Makentra, licking his lips, followed them.
Since their enemies had set up their siege camp behind them, the Alavari camp had been reduced in size. Still, there was the alcove of the collapsed tunnel. Whilst couriers and soldiers crossed across this natural cavern to the defenses on the other side, they kept a good distance away.
Yolandra was waiting for them, scratching something into the cave wall. Fennokra let out a rumble in her throat and her sister turned from the wall suddenly, shaking her head.
“Velkandra, Mankentra—”
Velkandra puffed a cloud of smoke out. “What’s this all about?” she hissed, lips drawn back to show teeth.
Fennokra took a step away from her sister to take Yolandra’s side, her eyes narrowed. “Are you joking? Do you not think we should at least discuss what is going on?”
“And what would be the point? It is a bit late to be having this discussion. The course of the winds have been chosen,” said Velkandra.
Yolandra rose to her full height on her four legs, but even so she was still shorter than the silent Makendra. “The winds can be fickle, Velkandra, and where we are is proof.”
Velkandra pursed her lips, eyes for the first time, looking toward the ground. “The survival of our family is tied to that of Thorgoth. To abandon him would be death by the hand of the Stormcaller and her allies or by his hand.”
“Besides, if we were to abandon Thorgoth’s cause, that would be dishonorable. We promised to assist him,” said Makendra.
Fennokra blinked at her brother’s tone. It was quiet and yet there was a touch of a deep growl to his voice. His claws were ever so slightly digging into the ground.
“We are dragons. We can think and make decisions for ourselves. We are allowed to consider other options, are we not?” Fennokra asked.
Velkandra’s tail flicked violently side to side as her neck turned to her younger sibling. “Then why does it sound as if you wish to follow in the wingbeats of our elder sister?”
“Who we killed. I was there. I lost a claw striking her down!” Fennokra raised one clawed hand, flexing the remaining digits.
“On that, why did we have to kill Lakadara?”
All golden eyes fixed on Yolandra, who held the gaze of her siblings with a contemptuous scowl.
“Lakadara betrayed us,” said Velkandra, almost growling.
“I’ve been thinking over what happened. Lakadara said nothing about betraying our mother. She merely was questioning if Thorgoth was trustworthy,” Yolandra said.
A scowl flaring his nostrils, Makentra growled. “He fed us, trained us in how the humans and their allies fought. Hid us from their eyes—”
“And now Caldra is dead!” Yolandra exclaimed.
“Which is why we must kill the Stormcaller and her friends! So we can avenge him and our mother!” Velkandra almost completely unfurled her wings. Only the tips slapping the stone forced her to pull them back.
“Then what?” Yolandra asked.
Velkandra frowned. “Then what? We’d have our revenge—”
Yolandra’s tail cracked against the ground. “Then what? You all must have heard of what Thorgoth is capable of. What he’s done to others.”
Makentra rolled his eyes. “Sara’s story is just a story. She might have been just trying to turn you.”
“She was honest and she is not the only tale I’ve heard. You must have heard rumors of what Thorgoth did to his own son, Teutobal,” said Fennokra.
“Propaganda,” Velkandra hissed through her gritted teeth, while smoke wafted through the gaps. “In any case, we have no other option. We fight or we die.”
Fennokra, her claws grinding against the floor, had had enough.
“Velkandra, Makentra, have you ever considered that Thorgoth is perhaps using us for his own goals? We have not even considered what he might do to us after we’ve destroyed the humans and their allies. How do we know the Stormcaller and her allies might treat us better? Besides in the first place, she never intended to kill our mother—”
Fennokra blinked. She was flying backwards, something hard was bearing her into the wall. Dizzy as if struck by one of the Stormcaller’s spells, she realized that the force was the foreclaws of her elder sister. Mad rage lit those golden eyes that were the exact same shade as hers. Horrified, Fennokra tried to throw Velkandra off, but her sister was larger and heavier than her.
“Say that again. I dare you to say that again—ARGH!”
Velkandra rolled off, forced off of Fennokra by the Yolandra shoving into her side. As the elder dragon recovered, the smallest of Telkandra’s brood hissed, “It’s the truth! You are a fool to deny it!”
An ugly sneer on her lips, wings quivering with fury, Velkandra snorted. “The truth? Oh right so we are speaking the truth then. Well here’s the truth. Our kind is doomed!”
Makentra blinked. “Sister?”
“Of course Thorgoth is going to get rid of us or try to after this campaign. He has to, but right now he needs us and that’s what we need to rely on until we gain more strength. Of course, whether he wins or the Stormcaller’s allies win, how can we expect to survive in a world dominated by these lesser species hm? How could they ever not see us as a threat?”
Velkandra stalked toward the wide-eyed Fennokra and Yoandra. Her head turned side to side as she fixed her sisters with wild wide eyes.
“Well? Tell me Fennokra. Speak the truth Yolandra. Or are you both too afraid to admit that our kind are doomed and the only thing is to live as long as we can and hopefully avenge those that hurt us as we do so.”
“You’d have us fly to our deaths?” Makentra asked.
The stammering voice brought Velkandra around. Extending a wing, she touched its tip to her brother’s. “I would at least have us fly together.”
Fennokra shook her head. “We’d knowingly fly with a murderer of children and someone who would want to kill us after we’ve stopped being helpful to him.”
“And we have no other options,” said Makentra. Letting out a breath, he rose to his claws and walked away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, sisters.”
Velkandra, without another word, turned for the exit. “You know it’s true, Fennokra, Yolandra.”
Fennokra closed her eyes. Yolandra, though, narrowed hers. “Doesn’t change that Lakadra’s blood is on our claws.”
Velkandra flinched and left. She strode away so quickly she nearly stepped on Helias and Sara as they came to the cave. She gave the pair no acknowledgement other than a growl.
“See you tomorrow, General,” said Makentra, his tone curt. “We will talk to King Thorgoth ourselves for the plan’s details.”
“Of course,” said Helias. He bowed as the pair left before turning to Yolandra and Fennokra. “I believe we missed something important?”
“Be honest, General Helias. Even if we succeed tomorrow, your king has no use for us after we help him kill the Stormcaller, am I correct?” Fennokra asked.
Sara and Helias didn’t say anything. Their slight move to stand closer so they could hold hands was enough.
“I thought so,” said Fennokra. She let out a sigh and glanced at Yolandra, who nodded. “We will be on the battlefield tomorrow. Where are we going?”
“You’re going with me. We’re attacking the forces sallying from Kairon-Aoun. The plan is that you dragons breathe flame over their army to soften them before we attack.
“Understood. Any questions Fennokra?” Yolandra asked.
Fennokra shook her head. What could be asked anyway?”
Yolandra flashed the pair a joyless smile. “For what it is worth, you two have been good caretakers to us. Even if it was to preserve your own lives.”
Helias didn’t bow. Instead he extended a hand. Yolandra stared at him, but Fennokra, recognizing the gesture, extended a single talon.
“May you always be able to see the sun.” At the dragon’s blink, Helias smiled. “It’s an Alavari saying. It may come from when we used to be enslaved by the Goblin Empire. It means good luck.”
Yolandra nodded and Fennokra found herself smiling.
“Our mother taught us a saying as well. May you never fly alone. I wish that for you both,” said Fennokra.
“Thank you,” said Sara in a quiet voice. She curtsied and the two dragons dipped their heads. They watched Helias and Sara leave with placid smiles.
Then, when nobody was looking, they turned from the entrance to hide their bulks as best they could. The gloomy light of the alcove their only curtain of privacy.
***
Frances slowed slightly as they approached Lakadara’s enclosure. However, Ginger did not slow down.
“Hold on, Ginger, what’s the plan?” Frances asked.
Adjusting her new crown mid-stride, Ginger said, “I’ll show you. I’m certain it’ll work, though.”
Frances’ eyebrows rose. “Is that crown getting to your head already?”
The new Queen of Erisdale flashed a slightly nervous grin over her shoulder. “Yes actually, but I think that’s a good thing in some way. Don’t you?”
Frances found herself nodding. It was strange to see her friend even more confident than usual and so comfortable in the regal crown that she wore atop of a standard Lightning Battalion light blue uniform. Yet she rather enjoyed the new gait that Ginger had.
“I do.” Frances smirked. “Your Majesty.”
Ginger rolled her eyes. “Fuck you.”
Giggling, Frances stopped herself as they drew even closer to Lakadara. The dragon was drawing herself up, placing her massive foreclaws over each other.
“Lakadara. I am Ginger, the new Queen of Erisdale. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”
The dragon coughed, blowing out a puff of smoke. “Greetings Ginger, Queen of Erisdale. I’m sorry for your predecessor’s demise.” Lakadara’s golden eyes narrowed. “Why are you here?”
Ginger dipped her head. “Thank you and as to why I’m here. I have a proposition. If you accept it, I will grant you and your kin, the domain of the Erisdalian mountains marked by the Kwent River Valley, Freeburg and Athelda-Aoun as your home in perpetuity, so long as you do not attack humans unless in self-defense.”
“I am unfamiliar with human geography. From the Stormcaller’s expression, I assume that is a lot.”
Frances swallowed and closed her mouth, but she didn’t question her friend. Ginger, still smiling slyly, nudged her. “It is. Frances, can you lend me a hand here?”
Nodding, Frances closed her eyes and imagined a rough map of Erisdale and its territories. With a wave of Ivy’s Sting she created an image of Erisdale, highlighting in red the expanse of the mountains that bordered Alavaria and Erisdale. The area that Ginger had described sketched a rough red triangle between the three points. It was a fairly sizeable area with a low and Alavari human population.
“My husband is in negotiations with Queen Titania and I’ll have to talk to Frances and Prince Timur, but we are quite certain that Athelda-Aoun will also be included in this area,” Ginger said.
Lakadara’s golden eyes were flickering as she examined the land. Suddenly, she turned, long neck arching toward the Erisdalian Queen. “And what must I do? Fight on your kingdom’s behalf?”
Ginger shook her head. “No.”
“No?”
“Nope. If you would like to do so we can renegotiate the agreement, but my husband and I fully intend to grant you this land.”
The dragon’s tail lifted up as her eyes narrowed. “Explain yourself and the favor you seek. This is far too generous.”
“Let me explain myself first. If what I’m told by my experts is correct, you can lay eggs by yourself without a mate, but it takes time right? A few decades?”
“Yes. Still, that doesn’t explain—”
“Here me out. This war is going to end. We may lose, but if we win, banishing you to the north is making you Queen Titania’s problem and she’ll have more than enough problems to deal with. You might just end up coming south again and we know how that ended. I’d prefer to avoid that so that means we need to make an agreement. You need a new home and I need peace for Erisdale. If the kingdom has to give up some poor agricultural land then I’m all for it.”
The dragon nodded. “I see, but why so much land? Why not just give me a cave? Or request my service as Thorgoth did?”
“And how will you eat? Hunt? Where will your grown children go? I’m making an agreement that will last for decades, not just a few years. As for service? I was tempted, but you wouldn’t agree to that anyway and why should you? We haven’t given you any reason to agree.” Ginger gave Frances a wave to dispel the map. “Maybe in the future we can work something out, especially if the dragon population increases. Your service in return for more food, but again, I want to start us off on the right path, not the left path.”
“Left path?” Lakadara asked.
“Erisdalian expression. It means the wrong path,” Frances said helpfully.
Lakadara nodded slowly. “You still ask for a boon, though.”
Ginger nodded. “Yes. I want you to speak to your siblings. Before the upcoming battle starts, tell them of my deal with you. So long as they choose to accept that deal and defect, then I will have it so our forces will not hurt them. After that, you may leave. I will not request you to fight with us.”
“You want me to show myself to Thorgoth? To the siblings that tried to kill me?” Lakadara asked, mouth agape.
Ginger stepped closer to the dragon, who lifted her head away from the queen. “I want you to save your siblings. I want you to save yourself from becoming the last purple dragon in existence. I would rather you not be alone, stewing in hatred for my kingdom and our allies who brought down your family, even if we had just cause. I want peace. What do you want?”
“How do I know I can trust you?” The dragon suddenly grimaced. “Ah, right, you want a lasting peace. You have every reason to want peace.”
Ginger, arms crossed tapped her foot. Frances could see how stiff her friend was, but the action was also comforting. That her magic-less friend had such control over the situation, despite being faced with the dragon was rather…badass.
Letting out a puff of smoke that slowly drifted into the cavern, the dragon pondered the queen’s proposal. Frances held her breath and yet the dragon remained silent, only her tail moving from side to side.
Ginger waited, still content to wait for the dragon’s answer. Frances couldn’t. The tension coiled in her chest, waiting to explode.
“Lakadara, what do you want for your future?” Frances asked.
The dragon glanced at Frances, golden eyes wide. She turned back to Ginger, who continued to stand tall, awaiting Lakadara’s answer patiently.
“I accept your offer, and your promise for the future,” said Lakadara, dipping her head.
“We are glad that you wish the same as we do,” said Ginger. She extended her hand and Lakadara, took her claw and put the tip of it on the queen’s palm.
*Author’s Note: Queenly Ginger was really neat to write 😀 *

SHARING THIS. WINOOSKI RESIDENTS, PLEASE STEP-UP FOR THIS POOR PUP -- TW - ANIMAL ABUSE
Hey y'all,
To those peeps who've been following the dog abuse case in Winooski, Please email the mayor and city council! Luna, the abused dog, was getting beaten *again* outside of Chicks this afternoon on 5/21 per a witness.
Please email the mayor and city council utilizing the letter draft provided below!!
[klott@winooskivt.gov](mailto:klott@winooskivt.gov)
(Mayor)
[trenner@winooskivt.gov](mailto:trenner@winooskivt.gov)
(Deputy Mayor)
Council:
[cjudge@winooskivt.gov](mailto:cjudge@winooskivt.gov)
[ahurd@winooskivt.gov](mailto:ahurd@winooskivt.gov)
[boakleaf@winooskivt.gov](mailto:boakleaf@winooskivt.gov)
Reference statute "13 V.S.A. § 354" which states "the officer may seize the animal without a warrant" if an animal's life is in jeopardy. You can even just state your concern that this statute isn't being followed and multiple witnesses have seen this dog being beaten *again* as recently as 5/21. A few concerned community members are behind the scenes trying to get eyes on this dog and assist. I appreciate you. Let's flex some collective muscle to get some movement.
Script:
Hello, I'm expressing concern as a community member about the alleged dog abuse that occurred on 5/17 in Winooski, and is still intermittently occurring per witness reports, as recently as 5/21 outside Chick's Market. Statute "13 V.S.A. § 354" states "the officer may seize the animal without a warrant" if an animal's life is in jeopardy.(https://legislature.vermont.gov/.../section/13/008/00354....)I'm writing on behalf of this dog, who does not have a voice, so we can move this case forward. Another day living with beatings is a day too long. Thank you, -Name

You’re lucky, You're reading this because you’re one of these three people:

1. You've been told your idea sucks by a friend or someone you look up to.
   
2. You’ve even consumed multiple million-dollar business idea videos on YouTube or TikTok that only give you vague advice like “put yourself out there” or “you need to market.”
   
3. You’ve probably wondered if you should quit your job, I mean you’ve seen multiple $1,000,000 success stories, it can’t be that hard, right?
   

Well, let's just say you’ll be surprised. But trust me getting it right is easier than you think. You’ll soon see how easy it is to validate any idea!
1/ As someone who has consumed hundreds of vague pieces of content telling you how to start that $1 million startup without actually giving you anything concrete, I want to make validating your idea easy and practical for you. I'll be using Refro, a team management software we are in the process of launching, as a visual guide. Lastly, I want you to pay attention because I have a reward waiting for you at the end of this write-up.
(x)
2/ The first thing you need to do is to list out your network. Yes, network… network… network… and what I mean is the people that are immediately connected to you one way or the other. Relax, remember it's meant to be easy. Let me clear your doubt, pause for a minute, and ask yourself “How many contacts do I have on my phone?”. I’m sure it’s over 100 and this is me being modest. You’ll be surprised how much people are willing to help even if your immediate contact doesn’t have the information you need, get them to refer you to their network... This way, I went from having no network to speaking with university professors, folks at big companies like Oracle, and participants in startup incubators and I got to identify with their ideas and pain points which helped me form the base ideas for Refro.
3/ Now you're wondering, is that all? No relax a bit, good things take time. You need to gauge interest and if people have any interest in your product you trap them by collecting their emails, trust me they are your lifeline. How you communicate with your “trapped” audience is key as they’ll be first to use your product and also give you feedback. Here’s a protip to trapping your audience, use a waitlist website, it is the most natural and unsuspecting way. Here’s an example of mine - https://www.refro.space/ -. fancy, right?
4/ With the waitlist, it is extremely easy to get feedback on must-haves on your product and to communicate with your audience to validate the demand of your product. What you’ll need next is more people for your waitlist, so you need traction. What I used to gain more eyes on Refro project is product Hunt, This is the best starting point for SaaS(Software as a Service), Trust me you cannot go wrong here. As proof, My Refro project even got among the top product launches for the day,
With the waitlist, we identified must-have features and validated the demand. Next, we needed to find a platform for our target audience and build traction. If you’re a SaaS, a good starting point is Product Hunt. Not to brag, but guess who had one of the top launches for the day on Product Hunt? Refro.
5/ Now this is the final step to solidify your product image, build your MVP. An MVP is the simplest version of your product that allows you to test your concept with real users. It’s crucial because it helps you validate your idea with minimal resource
If you ever want to check out our MVP, you can always sign up on our website. And remember, I am here to help – reach out to me anytime if you have questions or need clarification. We're in this together!

Disclaimer: Hey there guys, firstly, and I'm really am sorry for formatting my post like this. It's my first time posting here, and my brain is rotten from all the Reddit story posts. I just wanted to share my thoughts and yes I am using ChatGPT to help me write this, but I'll try my best to keep as much of my own crummy writing as possible. Also, I'm keeping details as vague as possible for obvious reasons.
I 23M have hit a new low in my life, I've moved to a different country and have been going through a series of unfortunate events (Couldn't help myself, sorry). I'm struggling financially, academically, socially and romantically. I am quite sure I have ADHD and after a long period of procrastination I woke up at midnight and had a horrible panic attack. Following an episode of intense self loathing, and struggling to find people to reach out to. I decided to vent to ChatGPT. I started by calling myself a fuck-up and then going on a long rant describing every little detail of my life (probably a mistake on my part). ChatGPT gave me a formal yet very empathetic and encouraging response with pointers on what to focus on, and how to fix myself. Upon reading, "Your dreams of *REDACTED* are ambitious and achievable. Remember, many successful people have faced significant setbacks and challenges. What matters is your determination and the steps you take to overcome these obstacles." I cried for a full minute.
By the time I finished reading the response, and I realised how helpful this was for me. It made me reflect on all the negative portrayal of AI in media. Here I was receiving mental support without judgment, with no one in my life aware, and I was receiving sound advice. It never occurred to me that AI could ever be used this way. This was one of the few times in my life that I had an emotional catharsis, and I'm grateful for this experience.
P.S: I just read through my entire post, and it feels like some fake woke childish cringe inducing content cooked up by Dhar Mann to get likes and reads. But it is what it is. I felt like I should share this and I did. I'd like to hear your thoughts.

You’re lucky, You're reading this because you’re one of these three people:

1. You've been told your idea sucks by a friend or someone you look up to.
   
2. You’ve even consumed multiple million-dollar business idea videos on YouTube or TikTok that only give you vague advice like “put yourself out there” or “you need to market.”
   
3. You’ve probably wondered if you should quit your job, I mean you’ve seen multiple $1,000,000 success stories, it can’t be that hard, right?
   

Well, let's just say you’ll be surprised. But trust me getting it right is easier than you think. You’ll soon see how easy it is to validate any idea!
1/ As someone who has consumed hundreds of vague pieces of content telling you how to start that $1 million startup without actually giving you anything concrete, I want to make validating your idea easy and practical for you. I'll be using Refro, a team management software we are in the process of launching, as a visual guide. Lastly, I want you to pay attention because I have a reward waiting for you at the end of this write-up.
(x)
2/ The first thing you need to do is to list out your network. Yes, network… network… network… and what I mean is the people that are immediately connected to you one way or the other. Relax, remember it's meant to be easy. Let me clear your doubt, pause for a minute, and ask yourself “How many contacts do I have on my phone?”. I’m sure it’s over 100 and this is me being modest. You’ll be surprised how much people are willing to help even if your immediate contact doesn’t have the information you need, get them to refer you to their network... This way, I went from having no network to speaking with university professors, folks at big companies like Oracle, and participants in startup incubators and I got to identify with their ideas and pain points which helped me form the base ideas for Refro.
3/ Now you're wondering, is that all? No relax a bit, good things take time. You need to gauge interest and if people have any interest in your product you trap them by collecting their emails, trust me they are your lifeline. How you communicate with your “trapped” audience is key as they’ll be first to use your product and also give you feedback. Here’s a protip to trapping your audience, use a waitlist website, it is the most natural and unsuspecting way. Here’s an example of mine - https://www.refro.space/ -. fancy, right?
4/ With the waitlist, it is extremely easy to get feedback on must-haves on your product and to communicate with your audience to validate the demand of your product. What you’ll need next is more people for your waitlist, so you need traction. What I used to gain more eyes on Refro project is product Hunt, This is the best starting point for SaaS(Software as a Service), Trust me you cannot go wrong here. As proof, My Refro project even got among the top product launches for the day,
With the waitlist, we identified must-have features and validated the demand. Next, we needed to find a platform for our target audience and build traction. If you’re a SaaS, a good starting point is Product Hunt. Not to brag, but guess who had one of the top launches for the day on Product Hunt? Refro.
5/ Now this is the final step to solidify your product image, build your MVP. An MVP is the simplest version of your product that allows you to test your concept with real users. It’s crucial because it helps you validate your idea with minimal resource
If you ever want to check out our MVP, you can always sign up on our website. And remember, I am here to help – reach out to me anytime if you have questions or need clarification. We're in this together!

You’re lucky, You're reading this because you’re one of these three people:

1. You've been told your idea sucks by a friend or someone you look up to.
   
2. You’ve even consumed multiple million-dollar business idea videos on YouTube or TikTok that only give you vague advice like “put yourself out there” or “you need to market.”
   
3. You’ve probably wondered if you should quit your job, I mean you’ve seen multiple $1,000,000 success stories, it can’t be that hard, right?
   

Well, let's just say you’ll be surprised. But trust me getting it right is easier than you think. You’ll soon see how easy it is to validate any idea!
1/ As someone who has consumed hundreds of vague pieces of content telling you how to start that $1 million startup without actually giving you anything concrete, I want to make validating your idea easy and practical for you. I'll be using Refro, a team management software we are in the process of launching, as a visual guide. Lastly, I want you to pay attention because I have a reward waiting for you at the end of this write-up.
(x)
2/ The first thing you need to do is to list out your network. Yes, network… network… network… and what I mean is the people that are immediately connected to you one way or the other. Relax, remember it's meant to be easy. Let me clear your doubt, pause for a minute, and ask yourself “How many contacts do I have on my phone?”. I’m sure it’s over 100 and this is me being modest. You’ll be surprised how much people are willing to help even if your immediate contact doesn’t have the information you need, get them to refer you to their network... This way, I went from having no network to speaking with university professors, folks at big companies like Oracle, and participants in startup incubators and I got to identify with their ideas and pain points which helped me form the base ideas for Refro.
3/ Now you're wondering, is that all? No relax a bit, good things take time. You need to gauge interest and if people have any interest in your product you trap them by collecting their emails, trust me they are your lifeline. How you communicate with your “trapped” audience is key as they’ll be first to use your product and also give you feedback. Here’s a protip to trapping your audience, use a waitlist website, it is the most natural and unsuspecting way. Here’s an example of mine - https://www.refro.space/ -. fancy, right?
4/ With the waitlist, it is extremely easy to get feedback on must-haves on your product and to communicate with your audience to validate the demand of your product. What you’ll need next is more people for your waitlist, so you need traction. What I used to gain more eyes on Refro project is product Hunt, This is the best starting point for SaaS(Software as a Service), Trust me you cannot go wrong here. As proof, My Refro project even got among the top product launches for the day,
With the waitlist, we identified must-have features and validated the demand. Next, we needed to find a platform for our target audience and build traction. If you’re a SaaS, a good starting point is Product Hunt. Not to brag, but guess who had one of the top launches for the day on Product Hunt? Refro.
5/ Now this is the final step to solidify your product image, build your MVP. An MVP is the simplest version of your product that allows you to test your concept with real users. It’s crucial because it helps you validate your idea with minimal resource
If you ever want to check out our MVP, you can always sign up on our website. And remember, I am here to help – reach out to me anytime if you have questions or need clarification. We're in this together!

Elementor 8th Birthday Sale 2024 (May 28th – June 6th)

The Birthday sale of Elementor is live, just click the button below to claim your discount — they’re offering up to 30% off on their pro plugin and up to 75% off on WordPress hosting.
Get Elementor Birthday Offer
The Elementor Birthday Sale is going on now, and you can get a hefty discount of up to 75% on their page builder WordPress plugin or WordPress hosting.
Just stay with us to find out all about the latest deals and offers as Elementor turns E-I-G-H-T.
Usually, Elementor doesn’t give out coupon codes all the time, but on special occasions like this, they offer special discounts. So make sure you don’t miss out on this fantastic opportunity.
Elementor was started in June 2016 and since then they’ve been offering birthday sales, where you get the chance to save big on their paid plans. This year, they are offering discounts again. If you want to know what birthday offers they have, you came to the right place.
Let’s find out all the details without any further delay.

What is Elementor Birthday Sale?

Elementor Birthday Sale is an annual celebration of the popular WordPress page builder, Elementor. During this sale, users can get discounted pricing on Elementor WordPress hosting + Elementor Pro, which is the paid version of the plugin and includes additional features and functionalities.
It usually takes place around the anniversary of the company’s founding and offers users a chance to save money while using Elementor to build their websites. This year’s birthday sale is LIVE right now, and we have picked out the best deals for you below.

#1. Get up to 75% off Hosting and Builder

Take a look at the special discounts on Elementor Hosting during Elementor’s birthday sale in 2024.
https://preview.redd.it/eibhhknzz93d1.jpg?width=1277&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=497491a95dfe597b139991744d49d101fb702784

#2. Get up to 30% off Elementor Pro Plugin plans

Here are the anniversary discounts available for the Elementor Page Builder plugin (pro version).
https://preview.redd.it/cklr0vp60a3d1.jpg?width=1288&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cea8eb6d77d3922b5a535f4b5fc46f97bdfa684d

How to Grab the Birthday Deal of Elementor Pro?

To get the special discount for Elementor’s birthday sale in 2024, all you need is to follow these instructions I’m going to tell you. Let’s start.

Step #1: Go to Elementor Website (Click here to jump)

First of all, you need to visit the official Birthday Sale landing page of Elementor, and from there choose what you want to purchase — Elementor hosting or Elementor Pro Plugin.

Step #2: Select your plan

On their Birthday landing page, you’ll see that Elementor is offering up to 30% off its pro plugin and up to 75% off its hosting plans. Here, you just pick your favourite plan that you’d like to go with and hit the Buy Now button.

Step #3: Create an Elementor account for free

You’ll now see your cart showing the plan you chose, and total pricing. The Elementor Birthday sale discount code will automatically be applied to your purchase. From here, you can now proceed to enter your valid email address and password for your Elementor account.

Step #4: Enter your billing info

Now, you have to complete your billing information. It includes your first name, last name, address, city, country, pin code, state, and company name. After filling in all these details, click the continue button.

Step #4: Finish your order

Elementor offers two ways to pay for your purchase. You can choose to pay with your credit card or use your PayPal account. Once you have entered all the necessary information, just click on the “Pay Now” button to complete the payment process.

Step #5: That’s all. Elementor Birthday 2024 Sale is yours…

If you’ve been following our instructions closely, you’ve already gotten the number one Website builder tool. There’s no more step after that.
Remember, this Birthday sale of Elementor is only available for a limited time (expiring on 7th June 2024), so don’t wait too long to take advantage of it.

Elementor Birthday Sale Price for Plugin and Hosting

Elementor has two products:

• WordPress Hosting
• Page Builder WordPress Plugin

Let’s look at each of them one by one and discuss their pricing plans.

Elementor Hosting Plans

Elementor is not just a page builder, but it also provides web hosting for WordPress websites. It’s like getting a package deal because when you buy web hosting from them, you also get the Elementor Pro page builder plugin.
So, if you’re still trying to decide on a web host or if you’re unhappy with your current one, Elementor’s cloud hosting could be a great choice for you.
Here’s how they have reduced the prices of their hosting plans during their special Birthday sale or anniversary celebrations.
https://preview.redd.it/g3l98gic0a3d1.jpg?width=1277&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=822563014987cbb2ba7df06c40cabbc19f4deab3
Click here to snag up to 75% discount on any Elementor WordPress hosting and get page builder and theme for FREE — all in one package.

Elementor Page Builder Plugin Plans

Elementor offers both a free and paid version of its website builder plugin. The cost of the paid version, Elementor Pro, starts at $59/year for a single-site license and goes up to $399/year for a 1000-site license.
Here’s a discounted plan for the Elementor Pro plugin during the Birthday sale.
https://preview.redd.it/blcbgpqf0a3d1.jpg?width=1288&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f7d347f8262219478b20bb39a5cc958a176a2fc
They also offer a 30-day money-back guarantee (for both hosting and plugin) so you can try it risk-free.
Click on this exclusive Birthday sale link to choose your favourite Elementor Pro Plan.

Get Your Elementor Birthday Deal 2024

No doubt Elementor is the #1 website builder tool available on the market that helps you make any type of website in less than one hour. They have a visual drag-and-drop editor that lets you easily change things on your website while you’re working on it.
And the best part is, when you make changes, you can see them live right away on your website. It also has ready-made designs and templates that you can use to make your website look professional without much effort. Overall, I would say Elementor is super simple to use and doesn’t require any coding skills.
From May 28th – June 7th, there’s a special sale on Elementor because it’s their birthday. So if you want to try it out, now is a great time. Just click the button below to sign up and get started.
Claim Elementor Birthday Discount Sale
Well, that’s all from this blog post. Now, I want to hear what you think about Elementor and its BIGGEST Birthday offer.
Did you like them (if you ask me, then yes, I especially like their plugin as well as the huge discounts they provide during their birthdays)? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section. Byeeeee…

Frequently Asked Questions – Elementor Anniversary Sale

Is Elementor Birthday Deal live?

Yes, Elementor’s birthday deal 2024 is live! This year they are celebrating their 8th birthday and offering a whopping up to 75% discount on all of their plans. The sale is only for a limited time so make sure to grab this opportunity before it ends.

When is the Elementor Birthday Sale happening?

The Elementor Birthday Sale typically takes place in late May or early June, around the time of Elementor’s official launch date. At the time of writing this article, the Elementor Birthday Sale is live (from 28th May – 7th June), you can check them out from here.

I hope our His Majesty or the higher authority can investigate this matter seriously about all my submissions and the facts that I stated here, to prevent the same problem from occurring again, & also to prevent more victims like me from being treated unfairly by the judicial system in Brunei.
The purpose of writing this article is to awaken & raise awareness about the judicial system in Brunei. And I think people have the right to know the facts & inappropriate judicial system in Brunei. My case number is HCCS 136 of 2009 & Appeal no. COACV/4/2023. I hope people can read through the judgment, & I hope the court will not remove the judgment from their website following the publication of this article.
After the partial profits of $195,300.00 paid to me by the plaintiffs, the plaintiffs & I entered into a Deed of Settlement Agreement to resolve all our disputes. A few months after signing the Deed of Settlement Agreement, the plaintiffs filed the proceeding against me, they also made up 2 major evidence a fraudulent payment voucher of $195,300.00 & a confirmation letter, accusing me of owing $195,300.00. However, the Court didn’t rely on our Deed of Settlement Agreement in this suit. Then, what does the law rely on if the Deed of Settlement Agreement is rejected in Brunei?
I stated in my pleadings & substantiated it with a laboratory report issued by the Ministry of Health Brunei, that the plaintiffs forged my signature on 24 copies of Standard Chartered Bank transaction forms to transfer $352,456.68 from our joint name account to their personal account. However, the court made no mention of this key fact in the judgment. Can the court cove conceal the pleadings & the facts that were submitted by the party in the judgment in Brunei?
As stated in the judgment, the court admitted & regretted that the court is unable to provide the hearing audio recording as the court did not arrange the audio recorder & a transcriber for our hearing ( 1 week of hearing), as a result, the correction of the inaccurate hearing transcription (notes of proceeding) provided by the court is therefore impossible. Thus, I applied for a retrial, but I was forced by the court of appeal to proceed with the appeal. Isn’t the hearing audio recording & accurate hearing transcription (notes of proceedings) are significant/ important evidence when it comes to appeal in Brunei?
In the judgment, the court of appeal rejected all 2 major evidence the fraudulent payment voucher & the confirmation letter submitted by the plaintiffs as the plaintiffs failed to comply with the Court Order to surrender the original Payment Voucher of $195,300.00 to the Ministry of Health Brunei for forensic examination (the plaintiffs told the court that they had lost the original Payment Voucher of $195,300.00), the court also rejected the Deed of Settlement Agreement & evidence submitted by me. Nevertheless, the court deemed the $195,300.00 as a loan to me without specifying any reason/ ground in the judgment. Isn’t it the judge’s obligation to specify the reason/ ground of their decision when it comes to judgment? Can the judge make a decision without giving any reason/ ground for the judgment in Brunei?
One of my counterclaims that I clearly stated in my pleadings against the plaintiffs, is that the plaintiffs will surrender all business accounts that they hid from me, & pay the balance of my profits from 2006 onwards as clearly stipulated in our Deed of Settlement Agreement Clause 6. However, the court made no mention of this specific counterclaim in the judgment. Does the court have the right to simply waive/ delete/ conceal the counterclaim that was submitted by the party in the judgment in Brunei?
I am the defendant in the news that was published by the Borneo Bulletin on 28^th Dec 2023. The most crucial sentence of the article stated that “Chief Justice Dato Seri Paduka Steven Chong, sitting with Justice Michael Lunn and Sir Peter Gross, rejected Tan’s appeal, addressing issues regarding inaccurate notes of proceedings, reliance on the Deed of Settlement, credibility concerns, and the absence of forensic evidence for a payment voucher”. Apparently, this news was published a few months ago, but, the higher authority did not take any action to rectify the problems.
This is a business dispute between the 2 plaintiffs (my business partners) and me. The 2 plaintiffs, Foo & Lai had hidden the business accounts from me & refused to pay my profits of around a few hundred thousand since 2006 onwards, as a result, we had frequent quarrels, & our partnership turned sour. Sometime in December 2008, I again quarrelled with the plaintiffs over the profits they owned me, the plaintiffs didn’t have a choice but to pay my partial profit amounting to $195,300.00 subsequently, we entered into a Deed of Settlement Agreement in April 2009 prepared by our lawyer to resolve all our disputes & my resignation from the company. All agreed terms had been clearly stipulated in our Deed of Settlement Agreement. Therefore, the court should rely on our Deed of Settlement Agreement in this suit.
In our Deed of Settlement Agreement, the partial payment of $195,300.00 was not mentioned it was a loan to me, on the contrary, the amount of $195,300.00 will be reinvested equally by 3 of us, which is $65,100 per person, to furnish the balance commitments/ outstanding bills of the company upon my resignation from the company, which is clearly stated in Deed of Settlement Agreement Clause 4a, and the plaintiffs have to pay me the balance of the profits that they hid from me from 2006 onwards after the auditor finalizes the business account as clearly stated in Deed of Settlement Agreement Clause 6. After we entered the Deed of Settlement Agreement, I complied with the term Clause 4a, I reinvested $20,000 from the part of the $65,100 & I asked the plaintiffs to surrender all business accounts to the auditor as agreed in Deed of Settlement Agreement Clause 6, so that they could pay the balance of my profits. The plaintiffs then told me they had lost all business accounts, apparently, the plaintiffs do not want to surrender all the business accounts & pay me the balance of my profits. A few months later, the plaintiffs forged my signature on a fraudulent payment voucher of $195,300.00 & a confirmation letter, filed a proceeding against me & accused me of owing them $195,300.00
The plaintiffs’ case/ allegation is, they claimed that the $195,300.00 is a loan to me, and the $20,000.00 that I reinvested is a part payment of the loan, and thus I owe them $175,300.00. The plaintiffs submitted their 2 major evidence in this suit, a fraudulent payment voucher of $195,300.00 & a confirmation letter. I told the court that the plaintiffs forged my signature on the alleged payment voucher of $195,300.00 & the confirmation letter, subsequently, the Court Order was issued, ordering the plaintiffs to surrender the original Payment Voucher of $195,300.00 to the Ministry of Health Brunei for forensic examination, the plaintiffs then told the court that they had lost the original Payment Voucher of $195,300.00 & therefore failed to comply with the Court Order. Despite the court of appeal rejected the 2 major evidence the fraudulent payment voucher of $195,300.00 & the confirmation letter that the plaintiffs submitted, the court of appeal also found no evidence showed in the Deed of Settlement Agreement that the $195,300.00 was a loan to me, BUT, the court of appeal deemed the $195,300.00 to be a loan to me without giving any reason/ ground in the judgment.
My case to the court of appeal is,
1. As the trial judge, Judge Faisal didn’t arrange for an audio recording & a transcriber during our hearing (1 week of hearing), and he also provided an inaccurate hearing transcription (notes of proceeding) to us, as a result, the correction of the inaccurate hearing transcription ( notes of proceeding) is therefore impossible. This is clearly a BIG mistake made by the court. I told the court of appeal that only the hearing audio recording can prove lots of lies made by the plaintiffs & all the answers gave by both parties during the 1 week of hearing. Since the court is not able to provide the hearing audio recording, accurate hearing transcription & other grounds substantiated, I applied for a retrial. However, my application was rejected, & I was forced to proceed with the appeal by the court of appeal regardless of the absence of the important evidence the hearing audio recording & accurate hearing transcription.

1. The $195,300.00 was not a loan, & it was not stated in our Deed of Settlement Agreement. I told the court of appeal that the plaintiffs would have stated this in our Deed of Settlement Agreement if the $195,300.00 was a loan to me. In fact, the $195,300.00 was a partial payment paid to me, & the balance shall be paid to me after the plaintiffs surrenders all the business accounts to the auditor as stipulated in our Deed of Settlement Agreement Clause 6. Moreover, if the fraudulent Payment Voucher of $195,300.00 that the plaintiffs submitted (their major evidence) was duly signed by me, the plaintiffs would not have told the court that they had lost the Payment Voucher of $195,300.00 when the Court Order ordered them to surrender the original Payment Voucher of $195,300.00 to forensic examination.
   
2. I substantiated with the laboratory report issued by the Ministry of Health Brunei that the plaintiffs forged my signature on the 24 copies of the Standard Chartered Bank transaction forms to transfer $352,456.68 from our joint name account to their personal accounts. I have filed this proceedings against the Standard Chartered Bank & the plaintiffs Foo & Lai, which the case HCCS 78 of 2012 is currently handling by the judge, Judge Soefri, & police case Ref. BKS/C116/2011 Is currently handling by Commercial Crime Investigation of Royal Brunei Police since 2011 ( it’s been 13 years). It is clearly submitted in my pleadings. However, the court simply waived & made no mention this specific critical point in the judgment. The court covered up/ concealed the facts in the judgment.
   

4. My counterclaim against the plaintiffs is, a payment of the dump truck, the plaintiffs failed to submit the evidence, whereas I submitted a solid evidence, the clearance letter & payment history issued by Baiduri Finance which was clearly stated that I fully paid for the said dump truck, and the said dump truck is clearly stated in our Deed of Settlement Agreement Clause 4d. However, the court rejected my evidence which was issued by Baiduri Finance & ignored the term stipulated in our Deed of Settlement Agreement Clause 4d.
5. My other counterclaim is also, a Toyota Land Cruiser. It is clearly stipulated in our Deed of Settlement Agreement Clause 5 that, the said Toyota Land Cruiser belongs to me, & thus the plaintiffs shall pay the proceeds to me after they sold the vehicle. But the court rejected & ignored the Deed of Settlement Agreement Clause 5 & evidence.
6. My other counterclaim is, the plaintiffs will surrender all business accounts that they hid from me & pay the balance of my profits from 2006 onwards as clearly stipulated in our Deed of Settlement Agreement Clause 6. But the court simply waived & made no mention this specific counterclaim in the judgment.
I have written several letters to alert the court about all the legal points as mentioned above, BUT, I was ignored by the court.
Lastly, I do not know what would happen to me after the publication of this article, one thing is for sure, at least one man must have the courage to step out & tell the facts about flaws/ deficiencies in our judicial system in Brunei, make things change & improve, in order to prevent more victims suffering from the false judicial system & injustice. I am confident that our His Majesty, as a kind & fair Sultan, would investigate this case thoroughly & make rakyat feel safe again with the judicial system in Brunei.

I keep having dreams of you. I'm tired of seeing your name pop up on those text messages - that surprisingly I could read in my dreams - telling me that you're not okay. I want to keep asking if you're okay.
But I know I can't force you to tell me you're not okay.
I know it's not my place and I know you don't have to tell me you're not okay or give me all the details you'd rather me never hear.
I just wish I didn't keep pressing for a response, fully knowing the answer would be silence or "I'm okay". I wish I knew what I was doing so I could make sure I wasn't making you step away.
You don't need me nor want me around. Maybe you do.
I don't want to assume things anymore. I want an answer so badly. No matter how many times I tell myself to stop or to drop you, I can't.
You can go back on your words, but I refuse to leave you behind until you tell me to leave.
I wish I wasn't always so anxious of your well-being. It's not my responsibility.
I hope at least my next dream about you will tell me to go away. Maybe then I'll feel like I'm unwanted.
I hate being the kind of person where I won't leave someone alone until they tell me to or that I feel so used to the point of mental and emotional exhaustion. I'm so tired yet I refuse to give up.
I just want to give people a chance. I know I shouldn't. I know I should leave people alone. I know I should stop thinking about you and wanting to still be around you. I know I shouldn't date or love you. I know all of this, yet here I am begging the universe to give you back to me. Even though you don't belong with me. Just writing this makes me feel guilty for wanting you.
I hope I can heal from you and the others. I hope one day, I can feel comfortable hearing your name and just hoping you're okay and eating well instead of wanting you to tell me you're okay and eating well.
I've stopped crying over it. This wound will heal.
Get home safely. Drink water and eat good food. Have fun and enjoy your experiences. Have a good birthday. I'll keep you in my heart. Friends, situationship, or strangers. I am deeply sorry I'm like this.

Welcome to your daily review. This is not meant to be stressful and if it makes you stressed, just skip it. It’s all good, no one is gonna judge you. A daily review can be as long or short as you wish, it’s kind of like guided journaling, you can freestyle it or use some of the questions bellow. What is important is checking in on your mood from earlier during the wellness check to how you’re feeling right now. Here are some questions you can use to guide you as you write down.
​

• How would you rate your day from 0-10 (5 being that balanced middle) and why.
• Did something unexpected happened today? How did that make you feel?
• Were you able to tackle something you needed to do? (If yes, how did you feel afte if no, why is that? Maybe you set your goal to high for the time being? How can you make it easier on yourself so you can do it?)
• Did your cat (or pet) did anything cute today?
• What are your expectations for tomorrow? Do you have any goals?

These are some examples you can use to help you get started, but obviously you can review your day as you see fit. Just make sure to give today a rating, find one reason you’re proud of yourself today, and if you’re already challenging yourself into new things, what do you wish to do tomorrow. Setting achievable goals is very important, but don’t over do it. For example: I need to organize my room (I really do, jeez) but today I put away my clothes so I could sleep on my bed. That was a lot for me, but I am proud of myself for doing it. Tomorrow I am going to organize my work bag. By taking small steps I don’t set myself up for failure. You can achieve anything you want, but sometimes you’ll need to take things slowly, and that’s okay too.

Hi. This is quite a long post so please bear with me. I could really use some help. I’m gonna put as many details as I can in here.
Background details on me: I, (24 F) live in the UK. I’m generally healthy but slightly on the overweight side (my weight has fluctuated for as long as I can remember but the switch from on your feet retail work to office work has affected my weight) Ive never had any serious health issues apart from a blood clot on my lung when I was seventeen. Despite only being 24 - I am a recovered alcoholic. Over a year. My most recent liver function test was fine. I’ve given up cigarettes for almost two years and occasionally vape as a replacement (I know it’s terrible - I am trying to stop). I do not take drugs and am over 3 years drug clean.
My family history: on my mums side three generations have had cervical cancer. On my dad’s side stomach cancer and pancreatic cancer runs rife. My dad himself has a stomach issue called colitis.
The issue: Around eight months ago I started having these ‘pain episodes’. Always at night, never a specific food triggered it. About once every two weeks. This pain was on my left side underneath my ribs and lasted around five hours a time. It was too much to sleep but I could concentrate on a TV show if I wanted too. I originally passed it off as acid reflux but as it persisted I decided to go to the doctors. They felt my tummy. Asked me some questions about my diet and further said it was acid reflux. I was reccomended a common antacid and sent on my way.
Afew more weeks pass by and this pain persists. I now notice with every time it’s getting worse. I think to myself ‘surely acid reflux does not get THIS bad’. The pain episodes start lasting for around 7 hours. Does not matter whether I’m sitting, standing, laying down. Anything. I also noticed alongside this I felt I had a lot of trapped wind or like I needed to use the toilet without the ability too.
I went back to the doctor. They were annoyed I was back again with this issue but they listened. They now decided it could be a bout of gastritis caused by H.pylori and ordered me to submit a stool sample and IF it came back positive I’d be given antibiotics but they told me to eat bland food. Not spicy and not fried in the meantime. Which I did. This test came back negative and I was not contacted about any next steps.
More time goes by. I stick to the bland foods. The pain gets worse. I begin to get a lot of swelling in my upper abdomen when it comes. These episodes begin happening every other day. The only thing that makes me feel better? Forcing myself to vomit. And trust me, I’m not proud of it. But I tried hot water bottles, cold compresses, every position possible, antacids, encorperating more movement in my everyday. What else could I do? Once I realised the vomiting made the pain go away - that’s what I would do as soon as I felt it. I needed to be able to sleep because I had work early. I couldn’t be up all night in pain.
One night. I have a specifically terrible episode and end up in A&E. this time the vomiting didn’t help and actually made it worse. I now notice a little hard lump on my upper left abdomen that is there constantly. A&E take my blood and the results come back that my liver function is ever so slightly elevated. They feel my tummy. Tell me it’s gastritis. Send me home. By that point the pain subsided and I was exhausted. I wasn’t going to fight it.
I wake up the next day and the first thing I do is get a doctors appointment. I ask for the same doctor as last time. I give her all my symptoms. She notes the fact that I’ve noticeably lost weight since the last appointment. She feels my tummy and decides to refer me for an abdominal ultrasound to check my pancreas, liver, gallbladder and stomach. She also ordered blood tests to check me for celiac disease (again negative) and my liver again (it had returned to normal)
I waited for two months to get a refferal letter. As I write this - the scan date is just shy of a month away.
During this time. The pain has increased to daily. I vomit almost daily because it makes the pain atleast bareable verses unable to talk, or breathe, horrific pain. I went to A&E twice over it, nothing was done. I went to urgent care. They prescribed me lanzoprazole 30mg (one a day before food) hyoscine butylbromide 10mg (2 tablets 4 times a day). It helps, occasionally. I also still can’t go to the toilet and when I can (maybe once a week) it’s a real struggle. The movements are light in color.
I am always pale. I am always tired. My blood pressure is lower than normal for me but still in normal ranges
Basically. Any ideas of what this is? Anyone with similar stories. Are my doctors doing enough? I’m not convinced it’s gastritis or acid reflux. I’m doing everything I can. But this is getting pretty hard to live with.
Thankyou everyone.

To start - the photo album - https://photos.app.goo.gl/m816j6qm54nRQ5uw8
I'm a little bit late writing this up, some things won't be relevant any more, apologies. This itinerary is for someone who likes to be out doing stuff all day every day, most people will find it way too full on. If you are also like this, though, I'd say it was well-planned, I never felt overly rushed, though I could've maybe done with an extra half hour here and there (this is more a problem with Paris' need to book everything a month in advance with a specific timeslot than my planning). I found the people to be very friendly, and never had any trouble communicating - though my French is passable, most people switched to English quite quickly, and not just customer-facing staff but even people I stopped to ask for directions from.
Wednesday 25th October Finished work slightly early to get the Eurostar at 18:01 from London St Pancras. 2.5 hour train (and lose an hour to time zones). The hotel was near Place de la Republique, so walkable from Gare du Nord (Hotel Mimosa - cheapest hotel available when we booked. No complaints, nice staff, really clean, didn't try the breakfast). Only had time to check into our hotel and have a quick drink nearby (the end of the PSG game was on).
Thursday 26th October Disney! I wasn't sure about it since it was the middle of French school holidays, and there were certainly some long queues, but my friend insisted and I'm glad we did (although only because I went twice as a kid, if you don't have the nostalgia I don't think it's worth it on a busy day - one year I spent Christmas eve/day here with my mam and had Christmas dinner at the Cinderella inn). We went to Gare du Nord early to buy Navigo Decouverte passes (even though the week runs Mon-Sun and we arrived midweek it's still the best option, no faff with the little paper ticket booklets, covers as far as Disney/Versailles, and is pretty cheap), got the metro over and made it for almost gates opening. Got really lucky and managed to book a table for 2 at Bistrot Chez Remy (the Ratatouille themed restaurant) for the evening whilst on the train there (do this on the Disneyland app), even then the restaurant is only about a 6.5/10 but it's amazing compared to your walk-up options, I'd suggest trying to book one of the better ones a few weeks in advance (be aware of prices though!). The main park is exactly as I remember with one or two Star Wars things shoehorned in, the Studios park is completely different though - before it was all "behind-the-scenes" type stuff, now it's "everything we own that isn't Disney" (so half the park is painted Marvel, half of it is painted Pixar). Particularly sad the Armageddon experience is gone, as well as the statue of Mickey holding Walt Disney's hand. Last time I was here, Crush's Coaster had just opened so was 2 hour queues and I never got to ride it, and somehow 17 years later they haven't shortened. Maybe next time? Rides close at 10 but we stayed for the fireworks, was quite late getting back.
Friday 27th October Slightly later start, easy morning finding somewhere for breakfast, didn't have to be at the Louvre until 11:30. We tried the side entrance that I've seen mentioned on here a few times, don't think it works any more though. The queue to get in even for timed tickets is enormous, thought we'd be stuck there for hours but dead on 11:30 it started moving, and we were past security and into the main hall in about 20 minutes. Made a beeline for the Mona Lisa, having read about a lengthy queue we'd discussed just getting a drive-by/glimpse of it rather than waste the day, but actually there were about 50 people in the pen ahead of us (which is about 10 people wide) and we were at the front in maybe 5 minutes? My photo of it is timestamped 12:02. Saw the Winged Victory, didn't see Liberty Leading the People as it was down for restoration, but it should be back by the time you're reading this. The place is huge and I definitely missed loads (forgot to try and find Napoleon's apartment). I do like art but I found lots of this to be a drag - I like colourful/interesting stuff, but find portraits of old generals and paintings of Jesus incredibly tedious after a while. Glad I went, not sure I'll return though. I budgeted 3 hours which was pretty much perfect for me. Next stop Saint-Chapelle - the windows are as beautiful as you imagine. I've seen a lot of people saying it's a waste of time and money - it is very expensive for what it is, it is just the one room, depending on your budget it might not be for you, but if like me you're happy to chuck money at stuff when on holiday it's absolutely worth the time. I think we stopped at a cafe at this point? One of the typical Parisian ones, where you sit facing out onto the street. Afterwards we walked over to see Notre Dame (still closed due to the fire) and then down into the Latin Quarter. We stumbled upon a free street art exhibition just across from the Pantheon which I really enjoyed, then started looking around for an early dinner - which turns out to be quite challenging in Paris, nowhere opens before 7 it seems, but we did find an Italian place nearby. We needed to get to the Stade de France for 9 so the plan was to be south of the city to make sure we get onto the metro before it gets into the centre and fills up - needn't have bothered though, lots of trains, never got too packed, as organised as any other modern stadium, just aim to be at least 30 minutes early and you can't go wrong. Rugby World Cup 3rd place game - England beat Argentina 26-23, looked like it might be a walkover early on but it turned into a really tight game, great warmup for the main event. Second dinner at Au Pied du Cochon, the 24hr restaurant that gets mentioned on here a lot.
Saturday 28th October Started at Musee d'Orsay, 10:30 entry. This museum is much more to my taste, and a manageable size. The impressionist stuff is all up on the 5th floor and is spectacular, I have never before (and will probably never again) go to a gallery where I instantly recognise so many things! This was a particularly incredible experience as they also had a Van Gogh exhibition on at the time (focused on his works at the end of his life, when he was living in France and his work was becoming very sinister - sadly no longer on) and I'd just recently taken my mam to the immersive Van Gogh experience in Edinburgh as part of her 60th. The other exhibition was Louis Janmot's Poem of the Soul (a really long poem and a load of paintings to accompany each segment) which I can't claim to have heard of before, I wish I'd had a bit more time to enjoy it fully but I had other plans so only had time to look at the pictures. Catacombs were booked for 14:30 - interesting experience, I'd say worth doing but not a must. It's good to have something planned other than museums. Afterwards, had time to see Jardin du Luxembourg and Montparnasse cemetery (didn't take any pictures in here, feels wrong somehow, didn't find anyone famous anyhow), before finding dinner in Montparnasse. Then the World Cup final - South Africa v New Zealand, another very tense game! I seem to have a habit for picking rugby finals with early red cards.
Sunday 29th October Trip to Versailles, 12:00 ticket, full access. This is the one place where, even with a timed ticket, you have a long wait to get in. I got in at 12:40, and I was fairly early so near the front of the queue for my timeslot. The palace itself is fine, bit nicer than my house but not worth the trip on its own, the gardens are stunning though, I spent over 2 hours in them, and still pressed on to see the other areas. My favourite was Marie-Antoinette's hamlet, the pictures don't really do it justice but it felt like I was in a fairytale. I headed back to Paris and got to the Eiffel tower just in time to see it twinkle at 7pm (it does so every hour on the hour after dark). Walked over to Trocadero (the best place to view the Eiffel tower), then along to the Arc de Triomphe and down the Champs Elysee. Took the metro up to Montmartre to go into Basilica Sacre-Coeur (free entry, and by this time no queue at all - they ask for no photographs so there's nothing in my album from inside, but there's plenty online). Ate nearby then had tickets for Moulin Rouge at 11.30 - like Saint-Chapelle, it's quite expensive, but a good time if you do decide to go. This was my most tiring day, over 35000 steps.
Monday 30th October Final day in Paris. I'd managed to get a spare ticket for Musee de l'Orangerie on an site called Headout (usually you would have to book this a while in advance, like most things in Paris, I guess someone returned one last minute? Could only get one, don't think my friend particularly wanted one anyway), 12:00 entry. I picked a route to pass a couple of landmarks - Opera Garnier, Madeleine, Obelique du Louxor. Monet's water lillies are, as you'd expect, absolutely gorgeous, and the only reason this museum exists really. There's some good stuff in the permanent collection in the basement though - I think I remember seeing a Picasso down there? I don't remember what the temporary exhibitions were at the time but I remember being unimpressed. Went back to the Eiffel tower to see it in the daylight, and stumbled upon Musee du Quai Branly. I'm not sure exactly how to describe it, it's a collection of objects created by humanity when in a loosely "tribal" period? Which happened at vastly different time periods for each continent. And also there's some samurai stuff, even though Japan had a fairly well developed civilisation by the time they came around. The more you think about it the more it falls apart really, basically it's a museum full of really cool stuff. Had to rush this a little bit to catch the Eurostar (train at 17:00), was also panicking because I couldn't make contact with my friend, who had my luggage.

Ember curled up underneath the bed in the Captain's quarters aboard the *Drakmaw.* The Cat-sized dragon counted the whole seven coins that made up her hoard over and over, while reflecting on the past few weeks.
Ejder had grown more distant, spending most of his time out patrolling on the *Drakwing,* while Ember had remained on Zeroth, in the new airship, the *Drakmaw*. Over that time, she’d revealed a lot more than she intended to.
Nhak, the poor armored ghost, had convinced her to reveal her current situation of being little more than a mana battery to Ejder by now. The Immortal Lady that owned Zeroth had overheard, as did another person she could not remember for the life of her.
She had asked the Immortal Lady about seeing if she had the potential to gain psychic powers. She hasn't gotten a chance to try unlocking them yet.
She sighed.
“Why do I let them see me like that? A dragon isn't supposed to be desperate, or scared. We're powerful creatures! They should all be fearing me! Ejder should bow to me, not drain me!”
“So why am I scared?”
She knew the reason. The prospect of alienating herself from Ejder even more by denying his control terrified her, when she was already neglected like a childhood toy.
She crawled out from under the bed and ventured out into the hallways of the airship. The various crew members and Drakenwardens wandering the halls carefully stepped around her. Even they paid more attention to her than Ejder did.
*”He plays himself to be all high and righteous, but he’s worse than the men he commands.”*
She came to the cafeteria area, and jumped up onto a table next to Aelia, who had adopted the *Drakmaw* as her own vessel, rather than the *Drakwing.*
“Hey, little gal. Nobody to talk to down below?” The Drakenwarden Captain asked.
“Yeah. Things are super serious down there after the whole forest fire incident. I'm afraid that if I say anything slightly out of line, I’ll get kicked across the room. And everyone’s so busy! And then Nhak’s ghost hasn't been around for a while…”
“Well, you might need to get kicked across the room every now and then. It’d be good for you. But, I can tell that now isn’t the time.”
Ember chuckled a little. “Well, there was that one time Talios smited me with his antimagic gauntlet. That’s about as close as I’ve gotten.”
Aelia sighed. “Alright, I’ll cut to the chase. When are you going to tell Ejder?”
“Tell him what?”
“That things need to change. That he needs to stop valuing his own fame and power over your wellbeing. That he needs to slow down. The Drakenwardens were a good idea, but I think he went overboard the moment he bought this second airship, and he’s already considering another.”
Aelia tapped the table with her gauntleted hand. “I don’t mind the ‘Wardens being expanded, but for your sake… If you let Ejder get too far, he’ll be spending so much time managing the Drakenwardens that he doesn’t have time for you.”
“I know, but… I don’t want to make the chasm between us deeper. I know how he’ll react. He’ll say that I need to earn his attention, but then he doesn’t ever give me the chance…”
Aelia picked up the little dragon like a household pet and set her on her shoulder. “Ejder means well. Its just that, for a wizard, he’s dumb as a rock. He’ll learn eventually, when karma catches up to him.”
“What?”
“Oh, come on, you haven’t noticed? How he’s been doing so well lately? Hasn’t lost a fight, hasn’t gotten himself killed, managed to keep that dark thing-”
“The Shepherd.”
“Managed to keep the Shepherd under control… Look at it. Karma is gonna shove its boot up his ass pretty soon, and the two of us get to laugh at him together.”
Ember laughed out loud at that one.
“By the way, I know you don’t want people giving you things for your horde, but… I found this on a mission, looted it from some ruffian in an alleyway. I thought you’d like it.” Aelia pulled out a small scabbard, inlaid with five different gems. Held within was a small dagger, which had a red dragon head for a pommel.
“Oooh…”
“Ejder figured it was something related to Tiamat, so I checked it for curses. None, according to the magic. So, here you go.”
Ember grabbed the scabbard, and looped the straps meant to go on a belt around her shoulders, wearing it like a backpack.
“How does it look?” She asked.Aelia chuckled. “Like you’re about to go sacrifice someone in Tiamat’s name. Just don’t tell Ejder.”
“Ha! Perfect!”
“Alright, now go along. I’ve got to help prepare the *Drakmaw* to travel universes. It’s really stressful on the hull compared to just an inter-planar jump.”
“Alright. Bye.” Ember sat and watched the captain walk away. She dropped down off the table and huddled underneath, listening to the crew moving around, getting ready.
She examined the dagger, with its extremely sharp edge, and beautifully engraved pommel. She then realized something.She hadn’t even made a conscious effort to physically interact with it. It should have gone right through her semicorporeal body. But it didn’t.“Aelia said it wasn’t cursed, but it’s definitely magic in some way.”
That night, Ember had another vision. The same one she’d been having for weeks. She was within a cave, walking toward the back to a nest. Where the nest used to lie, there was nothing but broken eggshells, mangled debris, and the strangled necks of the unborn wyrmlings that had been in the eggs. An overwhelming surge of emotion overcame her, despite having had the dream at least three dozen times. She collapsed to the ground, everything going black.
Then, the scene shifted again. Ember felt held back by chains, forced to watch but not interfere as tiny wyrmlings, barely out of their eggs, were being dragged by leashes and whipped with adamantine chains. She let out a roar that scared the poor wyrmlings, but the human captors were unfazed. Finally, a pair of ballistas were rolled up, and fired bolts right between her ribs and into her lungs.
Then a new scene, where she stood still, being looked down upon by a massive red dragon. It spoke two simple words.
“You disappointment.”
A tail smashed into her skull from the side, and the scene shifted again.
She watched as four other dragons were killed around her, White, green, blue, and then black. She was the fifth to be executed. She blissfully watched this scene, knowing it was at least the least painful of them all. The massive axe came down on her neck, severing her spinal chord.
The scene changed again. There she stood, before the massive 5-headed dragon. Pleading for the goddess’s blessing. Instead, she felt as five different breath weapons turned her to ash all at once.
While these scenes were all the same, this time, she noticed something. A dagger, stuck in the masvvie 5-headed dragon’s front arm. The same one Aelia had given her, but much larger.
Before she could comprehend this, the scene changed again, to yet another dragon, calling her a disappointment. This dragon would also bash her skull in with its tail, but she can practically feel her soul fly out of her body. And then she collided with something.
Ember snapped awake, still under the table in the cafeteria.
“What the…”
She crawled out from under the table, to hear the sounds of crew members rushing around, and messages being magically broadcasted. *”Hmm. Battle must be going on.”*
She jumped into a vent, crawling through until she found herself back in the captain’s quarters. She found her tiny hoard in disarray, and slid it back into a pile, placing the dagger next to it. She would have to examine the dagger more, and figure out what the battle was about later. But for now, she had too much on her mind.
/uw Just a “quick” little lorepost to summarize some stuff going on behind the scenes, to provide some context for some upcoming loreposts. Not that really anyone is gonna read them, but…
And, note for the Paragons that might be reading, yes, this is a little behind. I started writing this days ago, so, canonically, this takes place right before the Craterus battle.

Tw SH and suicide, TLDR at the bottom
I met her in the summer of 2022 and we were friends quickly. We talked for hours every day, writing stories, chatting, doing normal friend stuff. It happened pretty quick that I just needed to be talking to her all the time.
In the winter I became weirdly depressed. She was my angel, my savior, the only one who understood me. She treated me like I was sick and I thrived on it, on her attention, on her love. I needed her. She was my perfect goddess angel incapable of being hurt my me, in my mind she was above being hurt so nothing I did could hurt her. In my mind I'd always be forgiven by this perfect angel. She was everything and I was nothing without her. She was incredibly uncomfortable with being on such a pedestal and being essentially forced into being responsible for my emotional needs but at the time, I didn't care.
I continued to cling tighter and tighter on to her for months. I needed her more than I needed food or water or oxygen. She always picked me up even when she didn't want to. I always forced conversations on to her that she was uncomfortable with because I just needed someone to worry about me, someone to be concerned. I thrived off of the attention she gave me and was a complete energy vampire towards her. She became my caretaker in a way. I was unable to regulate myself or make my own decisions, I needed her input on every little thing and it wore down on her severely. I always told her how I'd cut myself up or how I would cry over the littlest things like a restaurant getting my order wrong or my coffee maker breaking. I needed her to validate my feelings. I kept getting worse snd getting more validation and attention from her and those around her. I reveled in being the worst.
I was obsessed. I spoke to her every waking moment. In the summer I didn't leave my room until she was around to text me. I didn't sleep until she slept. I kept fantasizing about running away to be with her, of dying and being reborn as her cat so she'd hold me and play with me, and of living with her and being in her arms and just being hers. Got to the point where I kept looking up how expensive bus tickets would be to get to her town, thinking about just abandoning it all to be with her and I'd started making plans. I had a complete breakdown one night and ran off into the woods with intent to poison myself, the extent of obsession I had was such that all I could do was sit there and say "I love you" to the sky over and over again hoping she'd somehow hear.
Things were getting worse and worse, she felt more and more suffocated by my reliance on her. At one point I'd made her worry so much about me that she had to call the police for a welfare check. My mental state was just deteriorating faster, as was hers. I didn't listen to how much I was hurting her no matter how many times she tried to set boundaries, I disregarded them all trying to chase that high of her coddling me.
It all came crashing down one night a few months ago. We got in a fight over a youtuver and as soon as she didn't live up to my image of the perfect goddess, I completely snapped on her and was tearing her down until she'd agree with me. At the same time, I was terrified of losing her, so while I was fighting her on one account I was listening in on a call she was in and trying to befriend her on an alternate account. She caught me and blocked me.
We only recently spoke again after I tried to make a post exposing myself to the community we'd both been part of and she said she wants me away from that community forever. She also expressed suicidal thoughts and now I'm absolutely petrified of the thought of losing her forever. I can't stop stalking her social medias just praying she'll post again. She used to say she'd forgive me if I recovered but now she's changed her mind on that and she wants nothing to do with me at all. I can't blame her, but I still obsess over her and just want her back to the point where ending it all sounds more appealing than living another day without her sometimes. I spent all last night sobbing and begging for someone, anyone, to come hold me and tell me it'd be okay. I'm still completely exhausted today. I feel utterly empty and hollow excited for a weight of guilt and shame in my chest. I don't feel like a human anymore, I feel like a ghost of myself and a shell that can't exist withouthere.
So, I don't know where to go from here. I've read other similar posts on this sub that have said that this is a journey that must be taken alone. I already cut off nearly everyone that cared about me and had to be talked down from running away from home. I'm about as alone as you can get now. So what's the next step? I've been to therapy and it was utterly useless but I can give it another try.
Do I even deserve to get better is another worry of mine. I'm the abuser, not the victim, so trying to be happy feels wrong in a way. Like I don't deserve that happiness. I keep reading stories of survivors who want their abusers dead or suffering and I'm wondering if that's the route I should do.
I'd just like perspective on my situation from the survivors of the type of abuse I committed and advice on what I should do from here.
TLDR: met and obsessively stalked a girl for a year, got cut off, don't know what to do without her now and I'm trying to figure out if I should go to therapy

So it finally happened to me. This is a write up for a lesson for hosts.
Got my prius back on the May 19 from a trip and it had some black scrapes on the lower front right side of the bumper. No dents, driveable....something that didn't even rly bother me and I could actually live with. I spent 3 hrs debating if I wanted to even file a claim. I'm pretty active here and read all the stories...so I figured....this is small damage that I don't rly care abt...let me just roll dice and see what happens. I file the claim without even contacting the guest, I did rate them 5* and gave them a discount to come back. Why? Because accidents happen...they were awesome renters otherwise.
I file the claim on the 19th, crashbay and the body shop i was going to take it to was listed with them. They've fixed my car before, I know the guys there very well, and every time I go there, there's some high stuff being worked on...lambo, mclaren.
On the 20th I get a a call asking for more pictures from a certain angle...I said no problem. Emailed it to them. I went to my guys on the 21st and showed it to them and got an estimate. Funny thing is my body shop was like....uhhh who do we talk to at Turo? I'm like bro...I dunno. So i shared the email contact that was given to me where I was supposed to send more pics of the minor damage. Also I emailed Turo again, the rep I spoke to and emailed them the estimate and told them that the guys don't know who to reach out too...please advise. Today the I get an email saying the estimate and damage is approved...the 28th. I'll reach out to my body shop and have them order all the parts and confirm everything because I just want the car in there 1 day max 2 while being fixed.
The damage estimate is just under $1800 for what I would be ok not even getting fixed! So.....as long as your process is down tight...you take good pics, follow the steps/process and are patient, there should be no issues.
At least from a claims perspective....I have no issues about growing with Turo....just waiting for these car prices to come down!

This is my first time posting in a subreddit like this so excuse me if it’s maybe a bit incoherent. I also want to preface this by saying that I absolutely don’t want my ex back, it’s better this way.
I (F25) and my ex (M28) broke up 2,5 months ago after he cheated on me. We were together for 8+ years and were each others first loves. Naturally that makes this all quite impactful.
The break up has been rough and complex but I’m managing better than I anticipated. I feel like I’m processing it step by step in a healthy way. I’m also in therapy which certainly helps. With that tho, certain questions come up for me. I wonder if my love for him will ever go away? What do people do with all this love they still hold for a person who is no longer in their lives?
I’m such a deeply loving person and I always made sure that my ex felt loved, seen, heard and understood. He didn’t/couldn’t do the same for me unfortunately. The way he showed his love for me was quite different from mine. Looking back now, I feel like he didn’t feel love as deeply as I did. He experiences love differently than I do. That’s also what makes this hurt even more.
I still love him. I know that’s normal because that doesn’t just magically go away after sharing 8 years together. But I STILL feel all this love inside of me for him so deeply. By still I mean after all he did to me. A part of me hates this, because this man did me really dirty. I’m not just talking about the cheating. We’ve been through hell and back together. I could write a book that’s how insane this 8 year ride was. I feel a little traumatized tbh.
He’s actually together now with the woman he cheated on me with. He has little to regard for me. He doesn’t think about me or my wellbeing after what he did, what he caused. And yes, I asked him that. Yet here I am, still caring so deeply for him, feeling a huge loss, grieving what we had. Missing his face. Even tho I don’t want him back, the love and care still lingers. I feel it so deeply, he has a piece of me forever I’m afraid.
It quite honestly annoys and hurts me that he gets to “move on” (he’s running away from facing his feelings and problems imo) and that I’m left with the fucking ruins he caused. He doesn’t deserve all this love and care I still have for him. I know that’s maybe a bit of skewed view, but I still feel this way. So that’s why I’m hoping for it to go away eventually, but also because I deserve to be freed from this, from him and the misery he brought me.
So my big question is: Will the love fade? Does it go away eventually? Tell me please, what was it like for you? I get that time will fade feelings somewhat. But MAN, I truly can’t put into words how deep my love and care for this person echos within me. That’s why I can’t see it ever fully going away. Might I add that by saying that I don’t mean that I can’t move on from him, because I am step by step. I’m purely talking about the feeling of love.
So let me know what it was like for you, I could really use some perspective.
I hope this made sense as English is not my first language. Thanks for taking the time to read this!!

PLAYBOY Interview With Conan O'Brien Interview by Kevin Cook For Playboy Magazine February 1998
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview