Mirtazapine dosage for dogs

Hi all. Long time listener, first time caller. On mobile so sorry for whatever that causes that I see other people frequently apologize for. Formatting?
This is going to be a lot long, apologies in advance. I have suffered from PTSD/CPTSD, GAD, and treatment resistant major depressive disorder for most of my teenage and adult life, or at least that's what the diagnoses are. I'm 34, bio female.
I lived a rough home life and moved out at 16, was homeless for a while at 17. This is just to say that I did have bad things going on, so the problems were not completely internal. But then I got a place and a job and my boyfriend at the time eventually stopped being physically abusive (not making any excuses, he was a bag of shit), but my life was going relatively smoothly at the moment, though still a bunch of unresolved trauma of course. Then thing kept getting worse mentally. Quit my job, went on disability, lost the ability to leave the house, and then after six months almost bed bound and two weeks of non stop crying I started my first antidepressant. Back story over, I promise.
I started with mirtazapine which worked wonders at the beginning. It gradually lost its effect, raised the dose until we couldn't anymore. Tried escitalopram and serroquil, couldn't handle the immediate side effects and didn't wait the weeks to let the meds start to work. For info escitalopram made the physical symptoms of anxiety go into overdrive (mostly racing heart) and serroquil made me unspeakably angry. I'd try escitalopram again, I feel at the time I didn't have the recreational drug experience to just ride it out. I do now.
Stayed on mirtazapine for over ten years, it clearly wasn't doing anything for me though. Was just afraid to stop or try something new. Spent a few years self medicating with coke and mdma while holding a job that I loved and was literally living my best life, and I was so functional! My job was abnormal and let me work when I could, I knew I still couldn't handle 9-5 5/7, but I was happy. In this time I'd also tried a lot of therapy.
Some time before the pandemic I stopped using recreational drugs, and then my work closed because pandemic. I started to really slip back down. My partner (at the time and now) had also done some retraumatizing due to his coke addiction (why we both stopped, he was never abusive, just lied about stuff, and is the most amazing partner now). I started Zoloft. The first day I felt like I had taken a bunch of M, spent half the day freaking out until reddit told me I wasn't alone. Zoloft worked wonders for me. Until after about a year, and it stopped.
Since then, we've tried abilify as an addition to the Zoloft (also really helped at first, then stopped). Keeping the abilify, I have also tried wellbutrin (did nothing, not even a side effect), Prozac (was effing allergic, boo), citalopram, and just tapered off citalopram and started Effexor. Also got rid of the abilify about a month ago because I couldn't afford it and I didn't feel it was doing much, and I'm not missing it. Taper from both citalopram and abilify was very manageable.
This whole time I've also had lorazepam to manage anxiety emergencies, and it has always been extremely useful when I need it.
I have also spent the last few years trying to get an adhd diagnosis, to limited avail. My psychiatrist finally gave in, told me I'd "jumped through enough hoops", and I started Adderall over two months ago. It has allowed me, for the most part, to get my shit done without feeling overwhelmed and shutting down.
Now here are my thoughts/questions (finally, I am so sorry). Except for the brief periods when I started mirtazapine and then later Zoloft, I have felt this background glumness that pervades everything. I think it's emotional bunting, except I am fully capable of feeling bad things if I'm drunk. I'm also tired of the weight gain and sexual dysfunction. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope with antidepressants (I once thought I'd be on them forever). I no longer know where my baseline mental health is and what are actually constant side effects/withdrawal from ssris/snris. I tried a couple years ago to wait a month on nothing between Zoloft and wellbutrin (my doctor made me keep the abilify) and it got really bad. But the withdrawal from Zoloft was so bad (brain zaps, intense paranoia, SI, intense moods) that I feel like I didn't get past that hump. And now with the Effexor, I slept in the other day and took my pill 5 hours late and was a mess all day with vertigo and really low mood. I'm tired of the mental and physical toll antidepressants have taken on me.
Now that I have the Adderall and can function, I'm wondering how much of my depression/anxiety was coming from just not being able to get through my regular responsibilities and self care without drowning. I can do these things now, and I havey lorazepam for anxiety/PTSD emergencies.
I have an appointment with my doctor next week where I plan to discuss all of this but, what do you guys think. Is there a chance the antidepressants have just been making me worse? I clearly have trauma but could untreated ADHD have caused a lot of the major depressive symptoms? Is it worth it to try to stop them altogether (I'm on the min dose of Effexor as of two weeks ago, no abilify) and just keep going with the Adderall. Is it possible to stop them completely but maybe go back on them for shorter periods if I'm having an MDD episode? Hell is it worth it to just quit antidepressants and just do MDMA a few times a year (I used to get great stuff and never crashed after, always felt great for days after a roll). Have any of you ever been in a similar situation and can share your experience so I feel less alone? I feel like I'm doomed to cycle through antidepressants forever and never really be happy and just have to keep going through withdrawals plus side effects when one stops working and I have to start another. But I'm scared that things could get really bad again if I stop. I run a business with my partner now and we are losing our one employee so it'll just be us and I'm afraid I'll screw our livelihood with an extended episode. I just don't know what to do. If you have any advice, any meds I haven't tried that you feel are worth a shot given my history, any therapies I haven't tried, any hopeful stories, or tales of caution, anything, I feel lost.
For what it's worth, for therapy I've done CBT (didn't finish) DBT (super helpful) and extensive talk and trauma therapy. Still have a therapist but can only see her once a month due to finances. I have a great relationship, great home, great job, dogs, cats, my life on paper is amazing. I'd really like to know that beyond objectively.
I also drink moderately, no weed, went through a phase with shrooms (microdosing and larger doses), not against doing them again, no other drugs at all, not even caffeine.
I'm so sorry that this has been so long, I didn't know how else to do it. If you've made it this far I can't thank you enough for taking the time and energy to try to help or sympathize with a complete stranger, you are an absolute gem.

I just took my first dose of Mirtazapine (15mg) 2 days ago and have been having a horrible time with it.
I slept 20 hours straight an hour after taking it and then I was in a mix of waking up and falling asleep for around 4 hours. I had very minimal control over my body and mind during those 4 hours and made careless and dangerous mistakes when cooking. During the periods I was awake I would get so stressed that I bordered on having a psychotic episode as I have had one before and know the signs.
After the 4 hours of fighting to stay awake I slept a further 12 and now i'm here and feeling a lot more lucid and way better. I'm still severely stressed and find that I blow up in anger at tiny changes but it is getting better with time.
I'm waiting on a reply from my doctor to see what the next steps are but I think I am justifiably scared that they may suggest to increase or decrease my dosage.
I want to know if my dose is changed is there a risk of an even more severe reaction? Has anyone else had this experience with mirtazapine?

So Im not diagnosed asthma but have recently had induced asthma symptoms from a dog i just adopted (trouble breathing, wheezing, coughing, shortness of breath) and i have been taking an arbetrol inhaler for the past week. It is my moms from when she had a cough except she didnt tell me the proper dosage so I have been slightly overusing it. Id say the most i took it was 6 times a day. I know this was incredibly stupid. I now have a worsening cough and specifically at night and really bad wheezing that is waking me up and preventing me from sleeping. During the day its not too bad, just coughing. Ive stopped using the inhaler, but did i fuck up my lungs ? plz help.

I have OCD and am currently taking 175mg of Zoloft. I also take 7,5mg of Mirtazapine (Remeron) before sleeping. I am going to ERP therapy as well, usually once a week. OCD is still dictating large parts of my life. I have recently been looking into further medication options. Going to 200mg of Zoloft is probably the easiest step.
1) Did any of you go beyond the max dosage of an SSRI for OCD. I know that sometimes this is being done. Did it increase the positive effect?
2) Did any of you add an antipsychotic (e. g.: abilify, risperidone, seroquel, olanzapine) to augment the SSRI? If so, which one and what was your experience?
3) Clomipramin (Anafranil) is an option as well but for both the antipsychotics and this one the side effects sound quite scary and I wonder if it‘s worth the risk.
Thanks for sharing your experiences!

My dog weighs 13 pounds and was prescribed 125 mg of Ursodiol twice a day for what he called a sludgy gallbladder. Upon reading about the medication, it appears that it is a really high dosage, more than what is recommended. He is a 12 year old Chihuahua terrier mix.
He is supposed to take this everyday for the next 3 months. I guess my question is if this is the proper treatment for what I'm assuming is Biliary Sludge based on what I've read. I just can't find anything that details the course of treatment of the gallbladder with ursodiol.
This is my first post here. Sorry if it's not correct in any way. Any help or insight is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

I’ve been on Zoloft for about 6 years, and am currently at 150mg + 15mg of mirtazapine.
For some reason, my anxiety got kicked into overdrive about a week ago and I feel like I can’t get out of the loop I’m in. I’ve been on 200mg of Zoloft in the past, but it dulled me out quite a bit and gave me lower libido. I’m not sure if I should just try to weather this storm, increase my dosage back to 200mg, or try switching over to something like viibryd.
My main concern with viibryd is that I’ve seen people say they have bad anger issues on viibryd and that’s just not acceptable. I never want to be mean or angry.
Any advice would be really helpful

I’ve been on Zoloft for about 6 years, and am currently at 150mg + 15mg of mirtazapine.
For some reason, my anxiety got kicked into overdrive about a week ago and I feel like I can’t get out of the loop I’m in. I’ve been on 200mg of Zoloft in the past, but it dulled me out quite a bit and gave me lower libido. I’m not sure if I should just try to weather this storm, increase my dosage back to 200mg, or try switching over to something like viibryd.
My main concern with viibryd is that I’ve seen people say they have bad anger issues on viibryd and that’s just not acceptable. I never want to be mean or angry.
Any advice would be really helpful

I have been dating my (30f) boyfriend (32m) for a little over two years now. Things started off fine but over last year I have noticed I am no longer sexually attracted to my partner. At first I thought it was due to my taking an SSRI and having increased that dosage over time. however, I've been debating this for the past six months and nothing has improved. I do not enjoy being kissed or touched by them, although I am content with the relationship as we do not fight and generally are best friends. I do not think it's fair to continue a relationship where one person is not getting the physical touch they need- and they are constantly wondering why I do not want to kiss, cuddle, etc. We rent a house together with my two dogs and cat. He is going on a trip this weekend so I wanted to finalize the proper way to end things. Does anyone have advice on how to do it gently while not making the living situation complicated? I am assuming he will likely move out temporarily into his parent's house until he can find something as he would not be able to afford the rent alone. I am still unsure if this is the right decision as I really do love him as a person and he's my best friend, but I know something is missing. thanks
edit: I take an SSRI for something mild- ppmd. it's more of a mood stabilizer. I have only felt much better since starting to take it and had already been on it before we met. I love my partner and he is an amazing person, but I am not in love with him romantically and have been thinking this over long enough to know it is not my medication causing this. thanks

We're just on this sub looking for a little emotional support for me as owner. For the dog behavior advice, I'll go to Dogtraining.
Captain Charlie is a 22lb, 3yr, rescued Manchester Terrier. Right now, he's sleeping quietly, recovering from heavy sedation. We've been together for about a year now, and have worked through a few habits and issues already. But this morning, I took him in for an exam and nail trim. After the previous tumultuous visit, months ago, the vet asked me to very gently get him accustomed to wearing a muzzle. We made some progress, but I haven't been able to actually secure the muzzle to Captain. I manage to get it loosely over his nose, but he panicks whenever I try to secure the buckle.
Last night, I sedated him with Gabapentin and Trazadone (as prescribed), with booster doses this morning. He wouldn't take the muzzle. I didn't force the issue, of course. The vet gave him additional injected sedation. Evidently, the little angel was friendly enough until they actually handled him. Then, he fought off the sedation and struggled and bit. They got a cone on him so the work could proceed, but the Doc said he can't safely increase the dosage. He said Captain fights so hard that he might actually injure himself or staff. I was presented with a short list of Veterinary Behaviorists, none of which are in my city.
Captain and I live alone. I work full time on an evening shift. I take Captain to the park for a hour every morning to run and swim in the pond. I have a reliable dog walker who takes him out in the middle of my shift every day, and I take him for a walk after I get home at night. I feel like I'm already struggling to get by, with the drain of work and the ordinary tasks of day-to-day life. I don't know how to add in an extra hour of time and energy to get a handle on this worsening issue. Is a live-in girlfriend the answer? (jk)

Hi. I bought my shih-tzu last January 2024. I’ve been meaning to get one for the longest time since I am living independently din. Kaya when I got him, sobrang nagkaroon ako ng motivation to do well at work & iimprove yung lifestyle ko. Recently na-diagnose sya ng parvo and was told na we have to really medicate him. Sobrang gulat kami kasi napakabibo niya pa a day before ko sya dinala sa vet. Nung ipapatake ko na ulit sya ng dextrose, nagulat na lang ako na hindi na sya nagrerespond and wala na ngang malay. And ever since, parang hindi na ako makapagfunction, to the point na gusto ko nang sumunod sa kanya.
I was diagnosed with depression last year and sya lang talaga yung nakapagpaayos ng buhay ko, like first time na bumaba yung dosage ko, kaya he means a lot to me. Naghahanap ako ng mga pwedeng i-adopt na dog na katulad nya pero mostly ang laki ng pinapabayad. Kaya ngayon I feel stuck sa buhay.

I've been reading a lot on the forums that people split their dogs dosage 2x a day. I was never recommended to do this, does it make any difference at all? I would presume nor as its overall the same amount. Just wondering if there is a specific reason for this?
My boy is on 45mg My girl is on 40mg

My husband and I have recently come to the conclusion that we can no longer continue to care for our rescued hound/pit mix, and are devastated with the two options we know remain. She has seen multiple behavioralists and trainers, has been on the highest dosage of prozac available for the past three years, and has had major surgery for mast cell cancer recently.
We adopted her when she was four years old, and were told by the shelter that she had separation anxiety—however, the moment she walked out of the pound, she began reacting to any other animal despite introductions occurring slowly, on neutral territory, and with extreme supervision. Desensitization has been in vain, and attempts to create a relaxation protocol or build up resilience to being alone has failed. If any animal (dog, cat, bird, CHILD, rabbit, squirrel) crosses her vision field, an explosion occurs (screaming, whipping violently on leash or at windows, will build to frustration to the point of snapping at leash holdeanyone in space). It took 6 months before she was able to co-exist without incident with our original pup (who, when adopted, had separation anxiety and was aggressive on leash, but we successfully worked with to overcome all issues), and recently she has begun targeting our original dog again any time she is left unsupervised.
We have been work at home parents, and organized our entire life around her extra needs for the past 3.5 years (blacked out our windows, enrichment activities around the clock, big yard with lots of play time together, moved to isolated areas) but it has gotten to the point that we can no longer continue to endanger our other pet and fear that if she were to ever break out serious damage could occur to another animal/person in the way.
This being said, she has no bites to a human on her record and is totally devoted/in love with the person/people in her life, loves cuddles and pets, but I am the only person she has learned to not jump on violently despite exposure and training attempts (she has broken thumbs, split lips, crunched noses, etc with others). We are at our wits end, and would appreciate ANY and all suggestions regarding rescues and specialized trainers/behavioralists in the Seattle area though we know it is a long shot. We are heartbroken.

I should not be writing this. I know they will be looking for me as soon as this goes live. I had to get the word out despite all the secrecy surrounding the project. I don't know what they'll do to me when they find me, but this has to get out.
I was unemployed vet tech looking for work when I came across a job listing offering a strangely large amount of money. What did I have to loose? I called the number and they gave me a website to go to that took me through an application process and a security clearance form that I had to fill out the last seven years of my life. They said it would be months until the clearance would come through but to my surprise a month later I got a phone call telling me I had been granted Interm Secret clearance and the job would proceed.
I had to go to a building without any name on it downtown and they took my photo for an ID card and a packet of information about where I was to go to the next day.
The next morning I drove to the address with a mix of excitement and apprehension. What about this job required a security clearance? Why had I gotten my interm secret so quickly? I figured I'd soon find out when I pulled up to a gate with a card reader. I swiped my ID and the razor wire topped gate slid open so I could pass. Yeah nothing ominous about that. I drove a mile or so down the road and parked in the parking lot in front of a building that looked like the set of a prison movie. The windows were narrow slits and I could tell from a distance that the door was very heavy duty. Thinking back a few minutes ago wasn't the top of that razor wire fence angled in as if to keep something in rather than people out?
I got out and approached the heavy door. I spotted the card reader and used my ID on it and it flashed green and there was a loud clunking sound from the door as it unlocked. I had to put some muscle behind it to get it to open and then it shut behind me followed by another loud clunk as the locks reengaged.
I turned to see a thick armored window with a guard staring me down.
"First day huh?" he asked me as he looked at his screen.
"Yeah," I said a bit nervously.
"Sit tight, your department head will be coming to pick you up and take you to your in-brief," he said.
"What uh, what is this place?" I asked.
"All that will be answered by the briefing so have a seat and relax. You're likely in the safest spot in the facility," he said.
I looked at the inner door and noticed it was just as thick and heavy as the outer one. I was essentially sitting in an armored booth so he was technically right about it being safe.
When my boss arrived he was wearing scrubs and had his ID card clipped to the bottom of the V of the top.
"So, you're my new tech?" he asked.
"Yes, Sir," I replied.
"Good, hopefully you follow instructions better than the last one," he said. "I'm Dr. Tanner. You can call me 'Sir' or 'Doctor'."
"Sir, can you tell me what I'll be doing here?" I asked.
"All in due time. First you need to complete the safety briefing. It is not a joke. Take a look at the windows and doors if you need convincing. The government doesn't spend this kind of money unless it's very necessary, and it is. You'll understand the need for it when I introduce you to our charges. I'm not going to tell you yet because I enjoy the look on people's faces when they get their first peak of what we're doing here," he said. "Now, for the safety briefing. Follow me."
He began to open the inner door when he stopped and looked back at me. "Do you have any electronic devices on you?"
"No Sir, the security documents instructed me to leave my phone and anything with a digital memory in the car," I said.
"Excellent, you're already demonstrating that you can follow directions," he said. Was that a hint of a smile I saw?
He lead me down the hallway to a room on the left and used his card to unlock and open the door. After I walked inside what appeared to be a conference room he followed me inside and let the door shut.
I immediately noticed the back of the door wasn't the usual thing one would expect to see. It had a big lever in the middle that looked like it operated bolts to secure the door shut. I started to wonder what the hell I had gotten myself into. I expected to be working with maybe the facility's guard dogs. This kind of security was on a level I hadn't experienced before.
"Good, you're observant, another plus," the doctor said.
He walked over to the table and picked up a recorder and pressed play. A trilling alarm sound came for it and he let it play for a few seconds before cutting it off.
"If you hear that sound along with flashing red lights you are to go to the nearest safe room, such as this one and use this lever to bolt the door," He walked over and pressed a button by the windows and the thick glass became opaque.
"And you are to opaque the windows with the control in the room so nothing can see in," he said and then pointed to a door on the other wall that had 'Emergency Supplies' written on it. "There you will find food, water, and other necessities if you happen to be locked down for an extended period of time. There is also a radio already set to the control room frequency. If the phone is not working pull the tab on the back of the radio so the battery makes contact and reports in with the information posted on the back of the door. That's basically who you are, where you are, and if there are any threats you know of near you. Otherwise sit tight unless told otherwise."
"Threats?" I asked.
"Our charges are out of containment or an external threat," the doctor replied.
"What's so dangerous that we need bunker rooms like this?" I asked.
"All in due time," he replied. "Have you ever used a tranquilizer gun?"
"No," I responded.
"No matter, you'd need to qualify on the two types we use anyway with the security team," he said.
"Why do we need tranquilizer guns?" I asked.
"The animals we work with are dangerous. They're sedated before they get to us and one of our tasks is to make sure they stay sedated until they're returned to the enclosure. If one wakes up and slips a restraint you are not going to want to go near it to give an injection. That's why we have tranq guns," The doctor said.
"That makes perfect sense to me," I said. My curiosity was burning wondering what we were working with. Had to be something like large predators to require this much security. A grizzly would be a plausible reason why the doors had the extra bars. The force they could produce could snap the usual latches.
"Good because it's time for my favorite part. Showing the new guy what we work with," the doctor said and led the way deeper into the facility and up a set of stars to a room labeled 'observation deck'.
"The windows are to remain frosted by the electronic controls there whenever the room is not in use. They cannot see in but they seem to know someone is watching them and it upsets them. It's best for everyone if they are not upset," He reached over and pressed the button and the electronic frosting cleared.
That's the moment where my brain completely derailed and I questioned my own sanity.
"W-Werewolves?" I asked.
"No, at least not at this facility. These are a lesser known cryptid called Dogmen, kind of like Bigfoot."
"Wait, is Bigfoot real?" I asked.
"Yes, but not nearly as widespread as 'sightings' would make you think," he said.
"If these exist, what else is real?" I asked him.
"That's beyond your need to know," he said sternly, but then his face softened. "I'll lend you a book later that contains everything we've confirmed and studied. After all, if you continue with this job you will have the opportunity to work with them in the future, and it's best you know what you're getting into," he said. "One benefit they probably haven't gotten around to telling you yet is that they will pay for your education. You can become a full veterinarian working with the most interesting creatures that exist," he said. "Not a bad gig, huh?"
"Except for the part where I'm working with large dangerous creatures," I said.
"Large, intelligent, dangerous creatures," he replied. "And that is why we have procedures and rules. Things like always having more sedative staged to inject if a patient starts to wake up, having them restrained at all times, and if they do wake up you have the tranq guns to put them back under without risking yourself," he said and tapped the control to frost over the glass again.
Our next stop was back in the conference room where there were now a couple of binders.
"Now for the boring part. Study these because you'll have to pass a test on them later. It's those procedures I mentioned. It covers everything from handling the animals, dosages we use, and why we can't leave after dark."
"Wait, we can't leave after dark?" I asked, a bit alarmed.
"There are dogmen in the woods surrounding this facility. The fence does a decent job of keeping them out but they do get in and they're not happy we have some of their kind captive. They're fairly shy during the day and become active at night so it's for your own safety that once the sun sets you stay here. We have secure rooms just for the occasion, and scrubs are not short in supply if you need a change of clothing. We have a mess hall staffed 24/7 by some excellent cooks. People who can do this job are rare so they take care of us. Now get to reading, you'll have to pass a test before you're allowed to work. I'll come pick you up for lunch."
I did as he said and spent the next few hours reading with a break for the promised lunch that was beef stroganoff and actually really good. I went for seconds. Then it was back to memorizing policy and procedures till I was finally done and managed a passing score on the test. That was followed by some time at an indoor range getting qualified on the tranq guns.
The doctor reviewed my test and nodded. "Excellent, you're a fast learner. We've rescheduled some things for tomorrow so we'll have the extra help. You head home and get a good night's rest. I'll see you in the morning in the veterinary section, just follow the signs it's easy to find," the doctor said.
I did as he said and drove home. I couldn't help but be a good deal more vigilant as I looked at the woods on the way out. Dogmen were out there and no one in the area except us knew. There were the cryptid hunters but they didn't know for sure like I did from seeing a pack close up.
Needless to say I didn't get a whole lot of sleep that night. My mind was racing with the possibilities of what was real from all of the stories.
In the morning I made breakfast and sat for a bit having to give myself a reality check that yesterday wasn't just a dream, so I finally picked up my keys and headed out. I drove down the lonely road and passed through the gate without incident. I parked my car and made my way through the security checkpoints and began following the signs to the Veterinarian department. As the doctor had said, it wasn't difficult to find.
There were three entrances all like airlocks that were long enough for a gurney. It didn't take long to figure out the purpose. If you had dangerous animals inside you wanted at least one door containment so they couldn't get past you and into the larger facility.
I went inside through the airlock like doors one at a time and found myself in a very familiar veterinary clinic though one that was very well stocked.
It was then that I met my other coworker, I'll call him Mike, who was sitting on a stool reading a magazine.
"Hey, you must be the new guy. I'm Mike," he said and I introduced myself.
"So, your first big day. You excited, or terrified?" Mike asked.
"A bit of both," I said honestly.
"Relax, by the time they get to us they've been pumped with enough drugs to drop an elephant. We take samples and the guards take them back out. Then we run the usual tests like any other animal. It's easy money," Mike said. "We're never in any danger."
"What about all of the procedures?" I asked.
"There's what's written down on paper and then there's what is practical and works. If we followed the checklist for every dogman that's brought in here it would just take us twice as long, and twice as long that it can wake up," Mike said. "So relax, I'll show you what you really have to do to streamline things."
What was I to say? He'd obviously been doing this for a long time and if his system worked who was I to question it?
Our first patient of the day made me the most nervous. The security team wheeled in a restrained female on a gurney right into the middle of our space then they backed out. Being the new guy I did the basics by checking heart rate, breathing, and looking into the eyes to make sure she was out cold. Everything was normal based on the numbers I had memorized.
Mike watched me, corrected my stethoscope placement a little and started drawing blood as soon as I was done. The moment he was done he buzzed the guards to take her back out while he labeled the samples.
"Less time they're in here the better so label your samples and fill out the papers once they're taken out," Mike said. "No need to have a dangerous animal laying around while we fill out forms."
"What about the extra sedative we're supposed to have ready?" I asked.
"The tranq guns are right there. Much safer to back off out of reach and just shoot them with another dose," Mike said. I couldn't fault his logic.
We had four more patients that day all went as smoothly as the first and I was beginning to relax. It was our last patient of the day when things went wrong.
It started normally with the guards rolling the male into our space and I took vitals and checked the eyes.
"Hey, I have some dilation here. I don't think he's under enough. Where's the sedative?" I asked.
"Don't worry about it. I'll be done before he realizes what happened," Mike said and undid one of the restraints a little so he could get to the vein. It was at that point things went horribly wrong. As soon as Mike inserted the needle the male woke up and jabbed it's hand upward catching Mike in the throat and spraying blood everywhere. I moved forward out of instinct to try and tighten the restraint when I felt a searing pain across my face and my right eye went red.
I stumbled back. Oh God had I lost my eye? I shook myself out of it long enough to badge through a door and throw the bolts before pressing the intercom button. "Creature out of containment in veterinary. I think Mike is dead. I'm hurt and need a medic!" I said before blacking out.
I don't know how long it was but when I woke up I was in a hospital room and the Veterinarian was sitting beside my bed.
"You're safe, you're in a hospital and just out of cosmetic surgery. You'll have some scars but it'll look like the result of a big cat. Your eye is fine."
"Mike?" I asked.
"Dead before any help would get to him. We have video of the whole thing including you questioning him multiple times on matters of procedure. Don't let someone senior intimidate you into not being safe. You have a month's paid leave to recuperate." he said.
So here I am. I need some advice. Should I go back to work after my leave is done or turn in my resignation? It won't take them much to figure out who I am if they find this post. I also don't know what they'll do to me if they do.

I volunteered to nanny for friends in my congregation and due to the specifics of the circumstances (I didn't have a driver's license at the time) I was sleeping over at their house for the part of the week that I was needed. I ended up being on baby's schedule as much as the parents were, because I wasn't reverting to my old sleep cycles in the 3 days I slept at my parent's house. I did eventually get my driver's license, with the help of the folks I was nannying for, but it was also during a month where I was basically off from my day job and ALL of my free time was immediately diverted to being available so they could get projects done. I figured I'd have a few free days here and there to go on hikes with my dog while the weather was nice. But nope. Same routine as before. Going from work to nannying, and directly from nannying to work. It got to the point where I had a meltdown over not having time to eat a bowl of cereal and then had to go right on ahead to nannying like nothing happened. And it's stupid and petty but I have been craving that stupid fucking bowl of cereal for MONTHS. Basically all of my free time, or the closest thing I have to free time, is spent on someone else's kid.
Tuesday before last, my dog who comes with me to nanny started having breathing issues that I couldn't make sense of, and a few minutes after the kid's parents got home, my dog collapsed and we had to take him to the emergency veterinary hospital, where he was diagnosed with heart failure and had to be put on oxygen for two days while we waited for meds to get him stable.
I am at the point now where I absolutely cannot afford, emotionally or energetically, to take any more hits while still in my current arrangement, and since heart failure is terminal and my dog's particular case means a 12-month prognosis at best, of fucking course hits like this are going to keep coming every time the progression of the disease outstrips the ability of his med combos/dosages to fight it back, and of course every med adjustment is going to mean more strain on his kidneys, and so every so often I am going to have to try and make evidence-based and informed decisions on how quickly my little boy dies and go through this grieving process over and over again.
I can't fucking do this and work seven days a week, 3 and a half of them for free, watching these people garden and run errands and do projects and plan purchases in front of me, things they get to do because of me, and talk about how they have ~no free time~ and ~money is soooo tight~. At one point the mom said to me, while their spouse was at work, "I'm basically a single mom paying for everything." I let this go because at the time the baby was like 7 weeks old and everyone was very frazzled, but it infuriates and haunts me because they make well over $60k a year, and their spouse does very much pay bills. Meanwhile I'm on fucking social programs. I make like $15k a year. I was looking for a third job that I could do remotely and while the baby--somebody else's baby! Not even my own baby!--is napping. (This was also in the midst of some rando online trying to go after me and severely violating my privacy, so I had to shut down my ebay and etsy to avoid getting doxxed. So my usual backup sources of money are gone for a while.) My parents covered a third of the emergency visit to stabilize my dog, because he's my dog first and foremost, but still our family dog. And while this was helpful and appreciated, I'm still out ~$2k because around the clock, specialized care is fucking expensive.
The week I came over after the emergency visit, the baby's mom was immediately on me, wanting to compare notes about medications because they've lost their last two dogs to heart failure, with a kind of enthusiasm that was just absolutely fucking disgusting. Like this was fun, like this was polite conversation. They then progressed to complaining about not having money, and, "dang, that Sunday you weren't here was ~such a bad mental health day.~" Meanwhile my dog almost died and when I had to cut a visit short on that preceding Wednesday night to hand him back over, because he wasn't coping without oxygen yet, I cried so hard I almost puked because he's never been in such bad shape before and I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that once he's stable, that's the healthiest he'll ever be again in his life. And then the news I got from the cardiologist at the vet hospital the next day was about the added complicating factors that drastically shorten his time left. And I had to sit with that while I went to my paying day job and had to try and get through the day until I could sneak out a little early to go pick him up. I cried almost constantly that entire week.
But, you know, like, sorry to hear your young and healthy child was being annoying, or whatever.
Last week when I was over there, I hit my limit. For several weeks before my dog's medical incident I have been slowly realizing that I do not have the energy, even borrowing from tomorrow like I habitually have been, to give this baby the kind of care she needs. I'm exhausted and out of patience. I get no time to recuperate between my day job and spending more time with a kid than her own parents do, having less free time than her actual parents do. I have no time free to spend with my own dog, which I strongly suspect was a major factor in how the heart failure snuck up on us. I missed my dog's birthday and gotcha day, which may very well have been the last birthday and gotcha days I had a chance to spend with him and the guilt is destroying me.
I essentially gave the kid's parents my two MONTHS notice the day after I got back to my own house, made a recommendation for a conveniently located daycare that was currently accepting new kids so they wouldn't have to be waitlisted, and affirmed I would still be available in the interim while they sorted out a childcare situation that didn't primarily/exclusively involve me. I also noted for them that costs will start to drop after the first year for childcare. (It would have cost them about $10K for the baby to be in daycare over the span of time I nannied for free. Ten months. Did they save up money for alternatives in the time I was nannying their child for free? Of course not. They took out loans to renovate their fucking house, where I also helped with demo, cleanup and new drywall in the early days of that project. For free.) I got absolutely NO response for three full days and was simply told, "we have childcare sorted this week. We'll keep you posted." No other communication from them since. At this point I am refusing to nudge them since I don't see the point in investing any more effort in people treating me like I'm fucking disposable.
The other parent did start secretly paying me a token amount in the past few months, which was appreciated, but ultimately there was no amount of money that would be able to justify the continued time investment.
Even laying my thoughts out long enough to write them up has taken me the entire day, needing constant breaks. I want so badly to just enjoy my free time but my body is giving me an emphatic and non-negotiable NO on that issue. I was able to run basically a single errand on my birthday and spent the entire next day recuperating. No laundry. No cooking. No nothing. Just sitting in bed all day feeling inhuman and not having enough mental clarity to even drink water. Too exhausted to get out of my chair when I had my morning coffee. My mother had to make me dinner, which she hasn't done in years.
And I'm still here feeling like I am the bad guy, like I am irresponsible, like I am inconsiderate, and lazy, and unreliable, and selfish, even though I know rationally what I desperately need is to be something OTHER than a caregiver, or at least to be able to prioritize my dog--who thankfully, at least, is currently stable and doing beautifully on his current meds. I want to be something other than busy and isolated and do SOMETHING that isn't work so I don't feel like I am cramming the rest of my dog's life into stolen moments.
I'm just tired as fuck and lonely and need people to take care of me.

Hi, I did 8gr of psilocybin and this was my experience.
I DO NOT RECOMMEND AT ALL THIS HIGH DOSAGE. THIS WAS A BAD EXPERIENCE.
This lasted about 8 hours, and I don’t remember everything because it was too long, but I’ll try to write everything.
I did this alone for the first 3 hours, and then my girlfriend arrived.
I lost my senses. I was in the living room of our home with the lights on. I felt that my brain started disconnect from the body. The “disconnection” feeling escalated quickly, to a point where I couldn’t see with my eyes, I mean… I saw only darkness. But I was able to touch things normally. This didn’t last long, and then I started to see everything slowing down in time.
My first impulse when this started was to fully undress, I even wanted to cut my hair bald, but I didn’t because I wasn’t sure about my motor abilities to do it. So I just got fully naked.
I was able to partially “get out”, of the experience by focusing in reality. I did that.
Then I wanted to “really experience” this, so I sat, and took a quilt to cover myself with it. I was now sat in the living room in full darkness. Here, if I opened my eyes felt exactly the same as if they were closed. I saw the same “world”. It didn’t matter if my eyes were open or closed.
I was able to see, even though I was in complete darkness, everything I touched was “light”. I was able to “see” with my hands.
Then I lay down with the quilt still covering me from the living room lights.
I never turned off the lights and preferred to use the quilt, because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to “get out” of the experience so easily. I thought that light was an easy escape.
While laying down in the darkness, the experience intensified, actually it was way too intense that I panicked. I started to feel and see in my head that my body was disintegrating. So I choose to not do that, I focused my thoughts into my own, myself. That thought more or less “saved me” from the disintegration sensation. I started to deepening into myself. My body now, was fully disconnected from me. It was only “me”. Not my body, not my perspective, it was only me.
I was looking at my own consciousness.
Then one question a raised ¿If I am looking at my consciousness, then what am I?
That question was the main reason I didn’t “disintegrate”, every time I "leaved" that question I started to feel my body disintegrate again which made me panic. So, I stayed with it, I tried to answer it.
I was looking now my own brain cells connections, and moving trough them... And then, I finally found "the real me". And it was a loop, there it was... A collection of thoughts looping with themselves. I was "looking" now at my own thoughts.
That went on for a while... As I was too afraid to leave that question... I didn't wanted to "go on" with the disintegration because I was alone, and doing it so, it'll mean that I'll stop for sure having control over my body.
Then, I decided that it was enough. I wasn't experiencing anything worth. I was just trapped in that "loop" inside myself. So I took the quilt away.
Oh by the way... My thoughts and brain cells looked like a fractal rainbow with fast growing moving, and every bit of it emited a thought. Also, it was floating there in the middle of the dark.
I got tired of that, I felt I was just surviving some treat... So I decided to end it.
I read a lot about psilocybin effects before of doing this. So, my reasoning was that, most of this was caused by my neurons connection overlapping with each other. To me, that explained "why" the experience was WAY stronger when being in the dark. My brain was desperately trying to "fix himself" by gathering information to reconnect. But that was impossible. As my brain himself was "broke", reality was now just a perception and not reality it self.
So, my "way" of leaving this experience was to stimulate my body as much as I could so my brain somehow managed to "connect" the basic senses. I went to the bathroom and took a cold shower. This more or less worked, it turned out this was just beginning... I went again in the shower to the same "full disconnection" mode. This time, every time my eyes were close by a second -just by blinking- I got trapped again inside my thoughts. It looked more or less like cyan fractal bubbles. Like those "multiverse" pictures.
I started to panic, but managed to get out of it by staying calm. I went into a cycle of going back to the living room, and then to the bathroom to take multiple showers, then screaming that I wanted to stay alive, and then calm down. I thought that if "let go" my thoughts I was going to to die. The reason, was that "disintegration" feeling.
I finally, got out of it.
I sat naked in the living room, looking at my scared dog. But I was finally calm, and just looked around.
Now, time wasn't there.
I mean, the flow of time seemed to go incredibly slow and incredibly fast at the same time. I saw the days past by and the consequences of all my actions in a moment. Even the consequences of this fungi experience. I saw my dog age, then die, then to rot... And finally turn into dust. I saw the same for the house. I saw and feel the sun rising, I saw the wind taking all the dust that everything turned in to.
But, all the time I was on the same place and I knew it. Looking through time past, present or future was as simple as just moving my head to one side or the other. But I wasn't in control to were I was looking at.
I was there, but then I got trapped again in my thoughts... The difference was that this time, my thoughts were present with my eyes open. So, I did the thing of "first shower, then calm" loop again a couple of times. I managed to calm down, but I was still trapped.
This time, I didn't panicked, now. I was living and re-living the same moment again and again. This time I was trapped in time.
In every iteration, I saw my whole life developing since the moment I took the 8 grams psilocybin tea, to the moment I supposedly was. I was trapped, and this time "physical" stimulus won't get me out. I lived at least 30 loops of restarting my life from the moment I took the tea.
I started to panic again, because I thought I was going to stay trapped forever. I was living again and again an immense tree of possibilities. And I was so afraid to stay trapped. But then, I managed to calm down. I realized that I got closer to the actual present. every time I accepted what reality was... My real life problems and joys.
Then I blinked, and this experience was finally nice. Now I was able to look through time at will. I then looked at my past, my family past, my ancestors, my non human ancestors, all the way to the cambric period. That time was savage, all life was eat or be eaten. I couldn't go further back, actually when I hit that period in time, I kind of "bounced back" and couldn't go back that far again.
Then...
My girlfriend opened the door and came in, she looked at me. And asked me what was going on, then sat with me and started to question me. At least that's what she saw.
To me, I saw our whole life together, we never had kids but we were more or less happy together, we aged until our hair went white, and our skin looked like raisins.
Then I moved to our immediate past, and then all the way back to the time we meet. And I was so releef for that to happen. Because I lived everything we lived together again, but this time I said sorry. I said sorry for every time I was wrong, or did something to make her cry, I even used this "second opportunity" to make things better, I proposed to her way earlier so we were able to have kids.
But she was there, sitting by my side in the living room.
And I was looking at her, while I re-living all that, and saw her face, her clothes and her skin change when something relevant in the past changed. I apologized a lot for everything, way more times than I can count.
At this point, I was in full control of space time, and I was able to manipulate reality at will.
However, I discovered something... I discovered that reality is just a perception, and that we all are one. We, all humanity and every living being come from the same place for the same purpose.
We are souls, that's our conscience, that was "the observer" looking at the neurons when this whole experience started.
Our bodies and our reality is just a mean for a purpose. We all are part of a greater self, and he want us to love. Love is the answer to everything. And the reason is that we all are part of him. You may call this superior being "God", but he is unaware of our existence... We are, the equivalent of "neurons" to him. And every time we love another being, we make a connection... And that connection is what gives him the ability to "think" or to "act". He's a being outside our reality, but still a being among other beings trying to survive in their own world. Our bodies, our conscious, time, and space are just the means for us to experience "connection", and that connection serves him as a mean to survive. We all are one because we all are him.
I looked at him... And he was a kind crab which my existence didn't managed to be any help for him. The ultimate act of love is reproduction, and wasn't going to have kids.
Then I started to choke. I was seriously afraid that I was so "outside" of my body that I was in reality actually choking. Apparently, breathing is the main indicator for our conscience to be worthy of living. So, when I resignated to not have kids I started to die. My girlfriend saved me here, I just kissed and she did it back.
When the experience started to fade, I started to see reality as it is. Before of that, I still dancing between past and present... And everything in present was being modified by the actions I did in the past.
That's it.
My girlfriend kept one trace of that trip, when I changed parts of our past, her hair changed from full painted blond, to black hair with a single blonde lock of hair.
This whole experience made me doubt of what reality is, and I'm not sure if my girlfriend hair has been always like that or if it actually changed.
Of course, that I choose to believe that it was always like that, and I just didn't noticed before. I just wanted to share this.

What's going on?? I was having decent success. I started this in mid March and did the 2.5 for first month and I've been on 5mg the past couple of months. I was dropping 3-5 lbs every week, I am a 42 f, sw 158 current w 133 gw 120. I do cardio every day, I have a home gym so I try to at least walk 5 miles a day between treadmill and taking my dog on a walk, and do weights every other day. (I'm always active, just got fatter over the course of this year, my fat jeans became my barely-can-button jeans.) Anyways I was pretty much seeing the scale move any time I checked ever few days. I totally understand some fluctuations but this is so expensive and now I'm frustrated I'll just be stuck at 133 forever! 😭 I would like to be able to swim with my children and wear shorts but nothing fits and summer is upon us! Should I up dosage to 7.5? I'm feeling the effects at 5 still, up until day 6 or so, I can barely eat, I will eat but just get stuffed and feel uncomfortably full after almost no food. So I think it's still working. But days 6 and 7 I'm eating fuller meals and thinking of food more. Advice??

My dog is a 12 year old, male, neutered Chihuahua. He weighs 12 lbs.
He has a heart condition which he takes meds for (Lasix, Vetmedin, Enalapril) and also had surgery on his spine a little over a year ago, only to have similar neck pain symptoms 11 months later, which he is on an ongoing low dose of Dexamethosone to manage. (25 mg - 1/4 tablet)
Lately he’s been more sluggish than usual (although he’s never been an active dog) so I had a full blood panel done. Turns out he now has Hypothyroidism. 🤦🏻‍♀️
The test says: T4 <0.5 / Free T4 Equilibrium 5.5 pmol/L.
It’s recommended that he starts taking 0.1 mg of Thyro Tabs 2x per day. I’ve read conflicting reports on the dosages. For his size, 0.1 once daily and others say twice daily. Seems like a huge difference! Since he’s already on so many meds, I’m nervous about the conflicting dosage information out there. Also, the last thing I want is for him to be jittery and anxious from a higher dose with his heart issue.
I’d love a second opinion regarding the dosage before he starts taking this medicine.
Thanks for reading all of this! 😊
Edited to add his weight

Same time last year my 10 year old boy started acting a lil funny. After a vet visit where nothing seemed wrong was just told to keep an eye on him. Fast forward a few months and something is wrong as by 6pmish he would turn into a completely different dog. Not aggressive by any means but his anxiety was through the roof, pacing and getting lost…I attempted some new training with him as stuff online said as dogs age sometimes they can revert back to some puppy habits.
By January it was clear something was more off. After blood tests and X-rays by three different vets with no signs of anything they said he might be sun-downing. Only one vet told me that maybe he wasn’t 10 he might be closer to 12 (when I adopted him they told me he was 7 months old). They prescribed him trazodone (100mg) and gabapentin (400mg) and they said to play with it to find a balance on what would calm him down.
From January to March the dosage worked about 60% of the time but he just started sliding downhill fast and the medication didn’t seem to be keeping up or helping anymore. Two weeks ago he went into our basement, panicked from getting lost and hurt himself.
Today we helped him cross the rainbow bridge and I am in shambles. I feel like I failed him. Like I could have done more meditation but at the same time being medicated for 70% of your day doesn’t feel like a way to live. He’d stopped eating consistently but he hadn’t dropped too much weight…during the day he would seem so normal. Older but normal but that switched would flip and the panic and fear in him…but maybe I could have given him a few more months..but now he’s gone. My most beautiful handsome baby boy is out in the ground. It’s raining out and he’s never been out in the rain I just want to go help him but he’s not there. Idk, I feel crazy. I feel guilty. I feel like a bad mom.
He was my first boy. I’ve lost family pets before but I got him when I was 23 and he’s been with me at every turn…whenever I cried this hard previously he was by my side and now he isn’t and that makes me cry harder.
Podrik you were the best. I’ve never met a sweeter boy. You never jumped at anyone, I never heard a single growl. Everyone who met you loved you. I love you. Please don’t hate me.

Two days ago we unexpectedly had to say goodbye to the older of our two Frenchies and I have been dealing with a significant amount of grief since. I will give a "quick" backstory before I ask my question. If you are easily saddened, you can skip the story and go directly to the question at the end.
-----BACKSTORY BELOW
She had just turned 12, and while visibly looking white/grey in the face, she had always defied the number of her age, and was in seemingly perfect health (even with a recent annual vet checkup that produced no signs of worry). Great energy, eating/drinking, temperament, and physical ability. Great reflexes with throwing balls and being able to leap in the air, as well as jumping up and down on or off objects. No skin issues or joint pain, no limping or lack of vision/hearing. Her organs and vitals were all very healthy. Just a fantastic dog that seemed like she had years left in the tank.
Then in the early hours of the morning on April 21st she had a seizure. That day we took her to the vet, did bloodwork (which came back with no significant issues), and they said to monitor her for additional episodes or behavioural changes and to let them know ASAP. 10 days later she had another seizure. We took her back again and she was prescribed Phenobarbital (a sedative which reduces brain activity and can help manage seizures). She was impacted largely by this, being groggy and losing some coordination in her back legs.
My wife and I had an overseas trip quickly approaching in the middle of May that we had planned for a very long time, so we were very much hoping that the medication would work. Other than the effects on her coordination, there were no additional episodes, so it seemed like it was. We informed our dog sitter of what was happening, her required dosage, and we went on the trip. We checked in multiple times daily with the dog sitter to see how she was doing, and everything seemed to be going great. We received pictures and videos of her going on walks, laying in the sun, playing with her ball... all her favourite activities. The dog sitter even said that she had noticeably gained back her energy and even most of the missing coordination of her back legs! This really put us at ease and made us think that we had found a long term solution. We returned from our trip on May 28th and all seemed well: she was lively, spunky, and seemed to be adjusting well to the medication.
Then a few days later at 2:30 AM on June 1st, she had another seizure. We immediately called the vet when they opened in the morning and asked to get her in, which they were able to do that evening at 5:30 PM, so we stayed with her and monitored her all day. Ten hours later at 12:30 PM, another seizure. Three more between 3 and 5 PM. They were shorter and the recovery was quicker. We went to the vet to see if they could see us early. They took another blood sample and said to increase the dosage of Phenobarbital. Around 6:30 PM we went back home and gave her the increased dosage. Just after 7 PM, she had another, and this one seemed to have a bigger impact on her as well as a longer and more difficult recovery period than the others. We called the emergency vet that specializes in neurological care and told them what was going on. They said that we could come in and the current wait time was 3-4 hours, or we could wait at home and see if the increased dosage would help. We were so worried about putting her in an increased level of stress with new and unfamiliar environments filled with other animals that we chose to stay home with her toys, blankets, and familiar surroundings, hoping the increased medication would help. A couple hours went by with no episodes or negative activity and she seemed to be relaxing nicely. We all settled down in our bed in hopes of watching a TV show and being close together instead of standing around the house on pins and needles.
Shortly after we settled down, at 9:30 PM, she had one more seizure, and my wife and I decided it was time to go to the emergency vet. They triaged her immediately and got her set up in the back with IVs of electrolytes and an additional, new type of sedative (the name I unfortunately don't recall at the moment). After about an hour, we spoke to ER vet and she gave us some options of what the next day or two would look like, and said she recommended to keep her there for 24-48 hour monitoring and seizure watch with this medical intervention and see how she does. During this conversation, the vet was called out of the meeting. She returned back what seemed like 20 or 30 minutes later to inform us that our Frenchie had yet another seziure, and the ER team reacted immediately to assist. They changed her sedative IV from a single dose to a constant drip. She said that without confirming through advanced imaging scans, it was very likely that they were dealing with a brain tumor. Their plan over the next 24 hours was to slowly reduce the medication every 6 hours and see how she reacted. We agreed to have her stay there, did the paperwork, and they said they would call at 10 AM with a wellness update, and that a call at any other time would mean a noteworthy development. We went back home around 2 AM.
At 7 AM we received a call. The ER vet said that for the last couple of hours she had developed a consistent, patterned vocalization that was unable to be stopped, and that she was distinctly changing in demeanour. They recommended we come in to talk about what our options were. We arrived just after 7:30 AM and spoke with the vet, who said that it was unlikely that she would return to what we classified as "normal", there would be a significant drop in quality of life, and without substantial medication or medical intervention. She gave us time to talk about what our next steps forward are, and my wife and I agreed that we faced the unbearable reality that we only had one option left. They moved us to a private room and we got to visit with her one last time. Just after 9:30 AM on June 2nd, she passed.
-----BACKSTORY ABOVE
(I didn't mean for the backstory to be that long, but as I was typing it I realized that I haven't yet been able to share with anyone what had happened. I apologize for the length.)
The sudden loss of our Frenchie has hit me hard. Really hard. In the last 15 years I have probably cried once or twice. I have been crying for two days straight. Nothing excites me, I haven't and don't want to smile, I don't want to eat, and I look forward to nothing. I feel as though our dog had so much life left to life and that was taken from her. She had the best disposition and was always happy and up for adventure. She loved being outdoors, loved exploring, and always wanted to extend her walks. She wasn't a potato on a bed sleeping her life away, she loved being alive and making the most of the day with activities and adventure. Her character and everything from the neck down wasn't ready. It wasn't her time yet. I am so saddened and angry that she didn't get to experience all her favourite things for years more let alone one more time. It wasn't a slow deterioration where we could see the writing on the wall and prepare ourselves. It all changed so quickly, so fast. On the evening of May 31st we were playing with her ball, going on sunny walks, and enjoying the outdoors together as a family. She was gone on the morning of June 2nd.
It may be worth mentioning that our Frenchie was a joint acquisition, and was originally my wife's idea. She was brought in to create and kickstart our family while we were already together, and if anything her presence in our lives is credited to my wife, not me.
Here's my question:
My wife has dealt with this much, much better than I have, substantially so. Within a day she has returned to talking to her friends, laughing at Instagram videos, watching TV shows, and even going back to work. I asked her how she could return to normal so quickly and she said she had been preparing for this for some time, unbeknownst to me, so to her this wasn't a complete surprise. Me on the other hand, this was a complete shock and a devastating series of events. I thought we had years left together, and that even though she was on medication, she would be able to have a good quality of life and live out her days until her body started to fail. My mind is a complete black cloud with no energy or will to do... anything. I can't get the images of our Frenchie's last moments out of my head in that private room together. The final expression on her face, covering her body up and wheeling her out for the last time. Seeing her beds, toys, jackets, and food bowls at home send me into a brutal spiral of sadness.
My wife has been supportive of my demeanour, but her words aren't helping me because I feel as though they're coming from a place that I'm not at. Seeing her back to normal so quickly after such a sudden loss is off-putting, in a way. It potentially makes my sadness even deeper. Does that make sense? Is this normal? It feels as though this is all just a bad dream, and that this isn't real. I felt as though I would never be happy again, but I know that's not true. I don't see myself getting back to my regular habits any time soon. I love our other Frenchie dearly, but seeing or being with her does not help the sadness at all. It's not the same as she has a very different character, and it does not fill the gaping void left in my heart. I tried looking for pet memorial items online, and I just break down uncontrollably when I see them. I am so just so, so sad.
I have looked up and read articles and blogs on the grieving/mourning process, and I know that these things take time. The biggest obstacle for me is that I feel no support from my greatest source of support, my wife, due to her quick emotional rebound. I would appreciate any insights from those who know better or who have gone through something like this before. Apologies for the length of this post. Thank you.

Needing mostly encouragement and any extra tips you may have for this dire flea problem, thank you!!
Caught fleas from a friend as her cats and home was infested. Walked home with them on my clothes and was bitten all over just hours later. It's now been 4 months with this infestation coming and going, coming and going away...
The infestation has been small-medium size. I've only seen 5 adult fleas in total during the 4 months on my body / around the house. But I caught lots of immature adult fleas on bug traps (they're orange and almost see-through, probably just hatched out of the cocoon).
I live in the UK and the infestation grew since Feb 5th when the temperatures were low and I don't even put the heating on!
At the beginning, I started with essential oil sprays on my body + clothes then laying salt down everywhere (furniture + carpets) for 3 days then hoovering. This got rid of them for a few days. So I did another treatment but again they came back.
Then I tried washing liquid on plates with a candle in the middle in every room. Caught nothing (or at least, couldn't see anything but I'm learning the new adults are very tiny!)
So then I shifted gears and made a really INTENSE plan of action. I moved to using Indorex flea spray (has an insect growth regulator and very positive reviews from vet and Amazon customers on its success rate). Sprayed carpets + furniture with windows shut for hours and put the heating on blast to make them hatch. Sprayed inside drawers and cupboards. Sprayed shoes + coats. Then hoovered every day for 7 days as recommended. Bagged up all my clothes and fabrics in the house and proceeded to wash all of them (on 40-60c depending on the fabrics). Put selotape down where carpet is coming up along skirting boards (landlord doesn't want to fix it). Put diatomectus earth in all house plants just in case theyre living in there. Also put diatomaceous earth on the shed floor as its carpeted. Washing with shampoo then covering coconut oil in my hair every day in case they're living in my hair. Put a mattress cover on the mattress (but I do still sleep on the floor.) And cedarwood chips in the garden - but I don't think this kills them so I should probably look into something else?
Then hired pest control via the council. They told me the indorex has a very low dosage of cyperethrin compared to the pest control spray (here's the ingredients of the pest control treatment:Cimetrol Super Cypermethrin (w/w) 25% tetramethrin (w/w) 10% piperonyl butoxide (w/w) 20% and pyriproxyfen 1% (w/w)). They also confirmed it's fleas - dog fleas. But gave no good advice on garden and didn't treat the bathroom (saying it doesn't need it because it's often wet, but fleas can survive water so I don't understand this logic? And the floor is coming up so I'm worried about them living underneath).
Got a new hoover because the Henry wasn't powerful enough. Now have a Dyson. I spray it with flea spray on the inside and empty it every time then wipe down.
I also travelled on x3 short trips during this period and every time they travelled with me. I was bitten all over my body every day I was away but weirdly and thankfully, my friend's places didn't get infested. But now I'm scared to go into places, people's homes etc to not take that risk.
It's now 4 days since pest control treated the house and I'm still getting bitten 5-10 times a day in all rooms of the house. I know I need to wait until it's been 2 weeks and then they treat again, and I wait another 2 weeks. During this time, I'm not hoovering as they advised but I am still washing any clothes I wear each day, washing bedding every 2 days, washing my hair everyday and re-treating plants and spraying my shoes.
Overall this has plumetted my mental health. I'm not working at the moment and I want to start a business but this is the biggest drain on me as I often fall into these pits of hopelessness, imagining I will never be free of these fleas and be able to feel at ease again.
The home feels so uncomfortable to be in as I fear the chemicals I'm breathing in and get tired of everything being in plastic bags or clothes drying on racks everywhere.
I'm also worried I've missed something in this and it will keep dragging out. The bathroom, the garden and the shed feel like massive red flags that haven't had proper treatment (the garden is a risk because I shook the bedding out there before I knew they could infest a garden and the neighbours cat is always in there but could be treated). Also when I empty out the hoover canister it flies everywhere in the wind which I think spreads eggs on me.
Also there were mice in the house a year ago and although I haven't seen signs for a while, I worry they're living beneath and the fleas are surviving off them too. There's lots of unsealed sections throughout the house between the carpeting and the floor boards or between the doors.
HELP. I need some practical advice but also mental health advice on how to stay sane, how to have hope, how to focus or even just read a book and relaxing whilst I'm living in this. What kept you sane during an infestation? How did you get through it without high levels of hopelessness? What lifted your spirits?
Thank you in advance!

...and I'm not being dramatic, because I know it's only going to get worse. :(
My mom is 84 and, for the last 5 or so years, my wife and I have noticed a decline in her cognition and changes in her personality. For context, we live in central Texas and my mom lives alone in south Florida, where I grew up. (My dad passed away 10 years ago in his sleep, which I'm thankful for.) That said, when I talk to my mom (2-3 x per week), I typically have her on speaker phone, so my wife can join in (she adores my wife).
Everything seemed to start, like I said, about 5 years ago, when we noticed she was starting to forget things more frequently. At first, she'd forget little things, like a doctor's appointment that I told her about (I have primary progressive MS) the last time we'd talked. In time, she'd forget something we'd talked about earlier on the same call. Today, it's just...BAD...especially when she sunsets, but sometimes in the mornings, too.
We also noticed that she started repeating the same things over and over. It started slowly, my mom repeating one particular story every now and then, going into great detail, and we would just listen, sloughing it off as a sweet "Mrs. Magoo" kind of quirk. Over the course of months and years, though, each call would become more and more like a complete repeat of the last. During one call, she mentioned that her PCP had referred her to a neurologist to have some tests done. Based on the results, she was prescribed "memory pills." When we visited my mom in Florida, she shared the hard copy of the report with us, which indicated MCI. Galantamine had been prescribed, which she started taking. This was sometime in 2021. She continued to see the neurologist roughly every 6 months, and dosages were adjusted, but her symptoms continued to progress. In one of the neurologist's later reports, he indicated "workings of early Alzheimer's." I only recently came to discover this upon learning [from her estate planning lawyer] that I'm her DPOA and her Healthcare Surrogate. He provided me with copies of everything. When I asked my mom if she had a Power of Attorney, she said, "What? No!" Yikes.
A couple of years ago, roughly in 2022, my mom started experiencing delusions. It started with my cousin, who lives with his wife in Tennessee. He had broken into her home or hired someone to do it, stole all of her friends' names, numbers, and email addresses, and broadcast a recording he had made of my mom berating him. He had "used his machine" to make sure that all of her friends and HIS friends would know what "a monster" she is. She was on a bus 6 months ago, when a pick-up truck full of Mexican farm workers passed in an adjacent lane. They were being boisterous, windows down, singing and laughing. My mother "saw" that they were all pointing at her, saying "There she is. That's that horrible lady!" This is obviously heartbreaking for her, but also for me, as now, the delusion has evolved to include me as a conspirator and has become a constantly raised topic.
Back in March, I hadn't been able to reach my mom for a week - the phone would just ring and ring and ring. Finally, she answered, and when she did, she told me she didn't want to speak with me any longer, that she would always love me, but that "the horrible things" I did to her she might never be able to forgive me for. My heart sank, and I called her sister, my Aunt. My Aunt and I have never been SUPER close, but she's known me since I was born, bounced me on her knee as an infant, introduced me to blueberry pancakes and scrambled eggs with cheese. I flew up with my mom to visit her - and my cousin - on summer breaks. Not every summer, but every 2 to 3. They would sometimes fly down when we didn't fly up. She came to my first wedding...and to my second. We've always touched base via phone, speaking maybe...once every 3-6 months. In the last couple of years, we started speaking more often, as we'd both noted my mom's condition and had agreed to keep each other informed of any red flags. Well...given the most recent conversation I'd had with my mom, I decided I should call her to see if she'd spoken with her lately. I called and got her voicemail, and I left a message. She returned my call the next day, but I was in the shower. She left no voicemail. I returned her call and again got her voicemail and left a message. Two days later, I'd heard nothing from her and was still unable to get ahold of my mom. I called my Aunt again, and still...nothing. I called her once a day for the next few days, expressing concern for HER wellbeing (she's 4 years my mother's junior). I called and texted my cousin (her daughter), and heard nothing back. All of this was not just highly unusual. It had never, ever happened. Never had I not been able to get ahold of my Aunt over the course of 8-9 days, so I called he Sheriff's department in her county to request a welfare check. Within an hour, an officer called me to let me know she was "perfectly fine." HUH? Almost immediately upon hanging up with the officer, my mom called to inform me that my Aunt had flown in to town "to have me sign and notarize some papers." WTF?! She was going to let her sister "take over everything." Oh...kay.... A minute after my mom hung up, I received a text from my Aunt: "Don't ever contact me again. I no longer have any interest in speaking with you."
A week or so later, my mom started to come around, thankfully! But...and it's a big but...one of her first questions to me was, "Did you rape your cousin?" I was speechless. Absolutely, 1000% speechless. Of course I hadn't, but I also had started to understand the separate reality my mom was living in, and that scared me even more - would I forever be the son who sexually assaulted her niece? All I could say was, "No. Absolutely not," but there was only silence, followed by my mom saying something about my Aunt saying some really awful things about me and telling her (my mom) that she should leave everything to her (my Aunt), because I'm "not even blood." I was adopted at the age of 3 weeks, and it was never a secret. I know I have to take things my mom says with a grain of salt, all things considered, but then I think about my Aunt's period of "radio silence," followed by her very real text to me. It's just so, so incredibly ugly. Could this woman who I loved, who I thought loved and accepted me as family, REALLY be this ugly? JFC... My heart.... :( I will NOT allow her to take advantage of my mom. Period. Not just for her, but for my dad. I could care less about what I get - my wife and I are good - but all my life, my dad would say to me, "One day, this house will be yours." I now know that he used to tell me so out of pride, not just in his accomplishments, but in me; my dad taught me everything I know about hand tools, power tools, how to use them, how to fix this, how to fix that - how to care for and maintain a house...cars...things of all kinds. And I know that if my dad was still here, there is no way on God's green earth that my Aunt would be trying to pull the kind of BS she seems to be trying to pull. He'd have told her to GTFO of his house. It just makes me feel so...dirty. She was at our wedding! :-
My wife and I visited my mom a few weeks ago. She'd mentioned needing help with a few things, and we told her we'd be happy to help. The first was to locate a document from a bank - she needed it in order to call them and cancel a bond that would renew if she didn't call to cancel it's renewal. My wife asked her if she could look through a pile of papers on her dresser, and my mom consented. I was asked to look in her safe. Sure. I opened the safe and found several plastic file binders. The pockets of each was stuffed with various papers, one having nothing to do with the others. In one pocket, I found a check. It was folded in half. It was dated October 2023 and had not been deposited. One of her investments had matured, and her bank sent her the check. $174,000. I showed it to my wife, and she whipped out another check she'd found in the pile of papers on my mom's dresser. Same check, reissued in April, also folded in half and buried in a stack of papers that had nothing to do with finances of any kind. We asked her about them, and she immediately told us they'd been deposited. When we tried to reason with her, explaining as calmly as possible that if they had been, she would no longer have them, she told us, "I know what I'm doing, and those checks were deposited." My wife, who is the sweetest, kindest person I know - the absolute MASTER of "tone and timing" - said she'd never heard of depositing an unsigned check before (the backs of the checks were completely blank - no signature, no account numbers...nothing). This piqued my mom's concern, and she spent...oh...25 minutes just trying to sign into her bank account. Once signed in, my wife was somehow, miraculously, able to get her to see that the check had, indeed, not been deposited, and she asked us if we would take her to the bank.
She hadn't been taking her Galantamine because her (primary care) doctor "cut her off." The reality was that the prescription, prescribed by her neurologist, had expired, and he had since retired. We tried to rationalize with her that all prescriptions expire and that, from time-to-time, a doctor needs to see a patient before renewing a prescription. This, of course, was met with a resounding "BULLSHIT!" *sigh* Finally, somehow, I got her to agree to go see her PCP. I drove her, since she should be driving anymore (she's wrecked her car 3 times in the last year-and-a-half). He renewed her Galantamine prescription (3 months only), referred her to a new neurologist, and ordered a sleep test that he'd been trying to get her to do for a year - she hadn't done it because she would have to leave her dog somewhere. The reality is that it was an at-home test, which I helped her with. "He never once told me I could do it at home!" she said. (The doctor insisted they've used the same test for the last 5 years.) I helped her with the test, she took it, and we returned the device, told the results would be available in 3-5 business days.
I also managed to arrange an appointment for her with the new neurologist, and not even 5 minutes in, she walked out, convinced, I'm certain, that the doctor would "see her." My heart breaks for her. I can only imagine how scared she is, how vulnerable she feels. At the same time, if she's to get the care she so clearly needs, I don't see how it will happen without a diagnosis, without a formal understanding of her present state. This, in turn, breaks MY heart, not to mention my fear, the anxiety, all of the "what ifs...."
We stopped on the way home to get an early dinner, and things got really bad. She didn't understand why she needed to see a neurologist. "Because you have Alzhiemer's, Mom," I told her. I know. The worst possible thing I could have said, but I said it as calmly and lovingly as I could, from a place of pure, desperate concern. "WHO SAID THAT?" she asked. "Well," I said, "Dr. K (PCP) entered it as his diagnosis in his referral to the neurologist." I asked her if she remembered that her oldest sister had Alzhiemer's. "DON'T give me that BS! She did not!" Of course, her now-retired neurologist had taken notes during her past visits, several of them referring to my mom talking with him about her sister who died of dementia. Her memory seemed to reset every 30 seconds as we ate. We'd made breakfast together that morning (I made both of us scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, and toast), and she kept asking if I'd had breakfast. Three times, five times, a dozen times. She kept saying that she should have had breakfast - if she had, she wouldn't be so hungry now. She'd then ask me if I'd had breakfast.
After being there for two weeks, I HAD to fly back - life, work, dogs, family....My wife had flown back a week earlier, and I MISSED her. Fiercely.
I spoke with my mom the day after I got back. She mentioned she hadn't slept well the night before, and when I suggested that the results of her sleep test should be available soon, she asked, "What sleep test?" Ugh. I tried very gently to remind her of taking her to pick up the test device, being shown how to use it, helping her put it on, and taking it back the next morning. "You're CRAZY! I don't know what you're drinking or smoking (I wish...!), but you've lost your mind. I didn't take any test."
Today, I drove around town, viewing apartment community after apartment community, hoping to find one that we think would be a good fit. She hasn't agreed to move (yet), but has mentioned it off and on. My wife's plan is to be "the good cop," slowly and gently, but surely, persuading her to move to Texas. I hate that she has to be the one to take the lead, but I get it. I know that it's incredibly common for those closest to our affected loved ones to take the worst of it. I just wish it didn't have to be this way, and I hope and pray for my mom, for my wife, and for everyone's sanity. Still, I know it's only going to get worse.

/OTC Yamanaka Factor Gene Activation/ VIA Oct4 Sox2 and Myc-c
AKA The Apigenic Protocol
5/21/24 I had a great experience last round adding a bit of carnitide to boost autophagy. You wont need it the entire time.
5/19/24 It works, im now about 20 years old while being chronologically 33. There is a mass media blackout and censorship. So its just down to us who know to spread the word. -Dude Wearing Shoes
Hollywood knows and already has been sending you cues.
1/18/24 - Cancer test came back early and NEGATIVE. I will be taking another in 6 months. 1/16/24 - Cancer test results current ETA is Feb 2nd. 1/11/24 - more typos, expanded some thoughts and added details to the timeline of my experience. 1/6/23 - updated some frame of presentation, I was not as read as many in the field would be. 12/29/23 - Links on how Yamanaka Factors restore telomeres 12/28/23 - typos/misspellings and more on Apigenin's deal with myc-c, nanog, and cancer. 12/26/23 - minor edits/added an alt GSK3b inhibitor.
I took a Methylation test to determine my age via DNAge back in 2020. I presented as 26 when chronologically 28.

• This is a treatise on coaxing T cells into resetting your epigenetic code. -

Here is the previous list of Cocktails that were known to reverse aging in human and mouse models, but they were not tested in living creatures. I know wt this point thousands have been served already by what im doing here. https://www.aging-us.com/article/204896/text Here is a quick list of their components. https://ibb.co/tPWJWR8
Yamanaka Factor Genes
Oct4 Sox2 Klf4 Myc-c
The reason you stopped hearing about stem cells from aborted fetuses over a decade ago was because these factors were discovered. If you turn all 4 of them on, you get a pluripotent stem cell.
What is a pluripotent stem cell?
It's a cell that has had all of it's epigenetic information removed, which tells the cell what kind of cell it is and where it is in development. It can then become any cell you may want to turn it into, but it will have the same genetic code. It has been shown that by activating O, S, and K you can partially reprogram a cell back to a previous age safely, as well as repair tissue and restore function to areas of the body that have been damaged.
What we are doing here, is activating O,S, and M. This is actually done by allot of people all the time. The primary activator for this is a beloved supplement and it along with NAD/NMN has been used by a fair number of people and there are no known safety concerns. I myself have used these two on the regular for about two years. Some form of NAD or NMN for about 4.
Apigenin is what we are using to activate the Yamanaka Factor genes, as opposed to using Forskolin and RepSox, which is what they used in the resource at the top. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27449921/
Why Apigenin? The simple answer is that there isn't anything else you can find out there that is produced in plants/vegetables that will activate multiple Yamanaka Factor Genes, AND its only shown to be safe. Even in the high dosages we will be taking it.
And it does this activation via the immune system.
NFATc1 Nucleur Factor of Activated T Cells https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEs5x78EWRY
NMN/NAD synergy with Apigenin https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3609577/
CD38 as a vector for Immune system modulation https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35834988/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7408359/ https://journals.asm.org/doi/10.1128/jvi.00225-23
More resources have been added at the very end
Here is a compiled analysis of many small molecules for their use in cellular reprogramming https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8751603/
The following outlines the minimal requirements for a combination of chemicals to work. "Functional analysis of SMs and their targets revealed that they are distributed between three major categories: epigenetics, intra- and inter-cellular signaling, and metabolic “switchers”. All these categories appear to be mandatorily presented in each SM cocktail to induce cell reprogramming. Specifically, it seems that sufficient components for a “minimal reprogramming” cocktail have to include an inhibitor of HDAC (e.g. VPA or NaB), an inhibitor of TGFβ signaling (e.g. RepSox), and GSK3-inhibiting SMs (e.g. CHIR99021 or LiCl). This assumption was further confirmed by the KEGG pathways enrichment analysis. The unusually significant enrichment of epigenetic and signaling pathways highlights their importance in chemical iP. Remarkably, many enriched pathways were related to aging, longevity and age-related diseases, thus presumably connecting them with the processes of cell reprogramming. "
So that's the inhibition of three things TGFβ GSK3 HDAC
And incidentally, Apigenin does all three. The HDAC inhibition is done by conditioning the gut over time to increase levels of Butyrate. Butyrate is listed in the compiled analysis as a inducer of re-programming. Apigenin is labeled as a enhancer. However when in concert with several other compounds, the breakthrough is in the acknowledgement of Apigenin as a master director of cellular activity in relation to human health.
However in my experience with taking Apigenin in combo with NAD/NMN/NR there was always an upper limit. This is because there is additional effort needed specifically to unpackage your DNA from your histones. That's the HDAC inhibition. Once additional Butyrate was added I was able to properly access my record and have my cells begin to transcribe my previous epigenetic code.
HDACi - Histone Deacetylase Inhibitors https://youtu.be/J9jhg90A7Lw https://youtu.be/9heRdhW6PNw
If you look at the article at the very top involving Sinclair's cocktails they observe that a much higher concentration of the HDACi is required compared to the primary activators.
Butyrate seems to do the job of an HDACi very well, and is available to us without a prescription which is also a very good indicator of its safety. Valporic Acid is used alternatively and is a restricted substance. Butyrate a class 1 HDACi and not dependent on NAD. Tributryn is what I have used myself because its just butyrate that's made to be more easily absorbed into the gut.
It would seem that the unpackaging of your DNA leads your cells into wanting to try and repair themselves alone without additional prompting. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41368-019-0053-2#Sec11
Theory Apigenin overall is being used to activate a immune response involved in repair and has the ability to pop the hood on epigenetic code/cell identity and can be further augmented by supplementation and augmentation of the processes involved to deliver results beyond what have been previously documented. This would result in the slow restoration of epigenetic code from the immune system out to every cell that can be reached. The body will require time to catch up with the re-programing, and there may be relative limits to how much reprogramming you can effectively do in a certain amount of time. I have experienced ongoing regenerative effects from using this combination, even after cessation, from fixing a ringing ear, my lungs, joint pain, I don't get cross eyed after working hard anymore, I had damage to my cardiovascular system due to covid that's now gone, and smoother skin.
Additional Components
B12 is required to avoid encoding logarithmic scale errors. https://www.nature.com/articles/s42255-023-00916-6 Make sure you use Methycobalamin, and I would recommend using it sublingually.
We will want to have a handle on the inflammation/GSK3 inhibition outside of what Apigenin is trying to do like CHIR990021 is, although it should be noted CHIR990021 inhibits both the alpha and beta sub pathways of GSK3 and nothing listed here inhibits GSK3a. The simple explanation being that you wouldent see much sanity in trying to repair a home thats still on fire.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18720192/ Curcumin has a very big reputation with reducing inflammation. It's recommended you take it as Curcumin Phytosome. I have not felt the need to take it 1:1 with Apigenin like you will see in Sinclairs cocktails with 1:1 RepSox/CHIR990021.
Lithium has been brought up as an alternative GSK3 inhibitor but it would be the only item on this list that would have any known toxicity issues in humans.
Genistein would be something people looking to experiment and report on alternatives could try. Very likely it has some unique synergetic impacts of it's own that might make it better instead of or perhaps mixed with a lower dose of the curcumin. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35447103/
In the video above for NFATc1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEs5x78EWRY There is a 2 minute oscillation on the pathway, meaning it can take in more calcium every two minutes. For me it has been smoother with some Long Release Calcium.
/Putting it all togethe
I think of it more like a reaction occuring between the Apigenin and hightened butyrate levels and everything else is about maintaining smooth operation under the best conditions you can to ensure no errors. Ultimately I think there is enough autocorrect going on between mechaisms so to speak that you get as naturally holistic result as you could as for. It's incredibly unlikely in my opinion that there will be a better molecule that can do this kind of wor so to speak than Apigenin.
I Haven't felt the need to use more than 500mg of curcumin a day to get the effect I want. In the concern too much could smother effects. Ill start off with the 500mg curcumin/600mg sr Calcium/550mg CoreBIOME Tributryn about an hour beforehand. Be sure you have plenty of B12 and take a good multivitamin you feel comfortable with for your bodytype/physical characteristics etc.
Then in packaged dosages, not needing this more than twice in a day. 300mg of liposomal Apigenin, a half gram of the NAD/NMN/NR complex, and then another half a gram of the CoreBIOME Tributryn.
Then I will take a second pill of calcium with the second shot. It's possible you are already getting enough calcium, vut that's just how I do it. After the second shot I'm well enough for a nap. I repeat it again when I wake up, but take breaks when you feel you have had enough.
Didn't feel like I needed more than a gram of the slow release calcium per day. Some think you don't need it but just be mindful of your overall nutritious intake and watch the B12.
I also had damage to my lungs due to a bad smoking habit that was specifically aided by adding NAC.
5ft11.5inches I'd guess I'm about 200 lbs. No notable change in body weight. I will also submit for the record that pizza rolls are more common in my diet than would be recommended for someone doing this.
You will also want to know this works for animals awell, their immune systems are very similar. More data is needed to determine dosing for any specific one though.
Because of optics and being the Chicago Pile - Body of One, I do not feel comfortable yet with recommending specific vendors for products. I have some immediate concerns to be sure these natural components you can already buy without limit are made fairly and cheaply accessiable to everyone, but I believe it is incumbent on everyone that this medicine be delivered to those that may need it the most by some lind of honor system we can all agree on. I have been told it has succsessfully treated some cancers and even Sinclair's latest work on OSK will confirm what i've been told anonymously.
This is the first human technology capable of regrowing bone/limbs
The mechanisms involved are based on core immunological functions the body already has. There is no reason it should have taken this long to get this to people, which is why I put it on everyone reading this to investigate this to the full capacity you have as a human being. This is also for your dog, cat, and birds by the way. It works on theoretically all eukaryotic life.
I submit it to the world for everyone's empowerment and greater fulfillment in their life.
It has come out via my description of my dosage I could have only gotten the Apigenin and NAD/NMN/NR complex from Renue, which I will confirm.
Anyone reading this is reading was at the front of human experimentation several months ago but given how far I have already heard of this spreading there is still so
The first time I did it it was for almost two weeks straight (along with Ca-AKG and Forskolin, which to me felt like they augmented the process) and I regrettably did not have enough B12 which caused tons of problems. I needed about a week of reprogramming back on while getting the proper supplementation before I was back to normal. After that I took roughly a weekend additionally doing it right. In spite of the transcription errors I incurred to my epigenetic code I still repaired allot of things wrong with my body. It was a cumulatively positive outcome none the less.
I started using butyrate around the end of October 23. The paper regarding B12 wasn't out till weeks later. I wasn't using it till the beginning of December and shortly thereafter I added a dedicated GSK3 inhibitor, curcumim. Both of these additions were made as timely as they were because of help I got from individuals I shared my experience with online. For that I am incredibly grateful.
The reprogramming is being done by your immune system, the overall health you come into this with will also be a factor. I have had years to be sure about my vendor for Liposomal Apigenin and NAD/NMN but have not shopped around for Tributryn. Your results may differ from mine, for one because we have figured out so much more than where I started thanks to the improvements made along the way.
Exactly how much deaging for how much time you do this is up for grabs. I didn't have multiple decades to shave off, I can say that even when done improperly the first two weeks of this were the most noticeably impactful. Although it should be said that I've still noticed small changes and improvements even weeks after cessation.
Chronologically I turn 33 in spring 24, my body has not felt like this since I was around 25 and I have tried to push things further but definitely am not feeling extreme changes like I did at the beginning. This could be limited from lots of things. Namely that there aren't really as many differences to notice in dropping another half decade. It could be that my body has to catch up with my programming a bit more before It can worry about going back further.
OSK activation is also thought to take you back to around your mid 20s.
What I can tell you is that I have tested the safety parameters of this concept in multiple ways and am still very much alive. I am only grateful to be able to be useful in the narrow ways I have been.
I wouldn't expect your hairline to come back immediately given it is on a cycle that takes months to years. Your skin takes 30 days to regrow. Shoot for one week on one week off to avoid Immune system exhaustion and listen to your body, it will do the best it can. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41577-019-0221-9
-Best Dude Wearing Shoes
Additional Resources
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-023-49546-8 More on how Transcription Factors do this kind of reprogramming.
Latest work showing that aging is more or less the sum of all parts, with some parts further worn in than others depending on behaviolifestyle choices. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10700136/ My experience has felt to me like it's those parts of the body that are further worn in that this targets first. It's a common feature in biology where the first efforts are always made toward reaching an equilibrium.
Synergetic behaviors between Curcumin and Butyrate https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2949688823000217 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29141538/
How RepSox was discovered. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2967350/ By screening hundreds of potential compounds and adding a HDACi (Valporic Acid).
Additional Apigenin resources https://www.nature.com/articles/s41419-023-06342-6 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9505045/ Mechanisms surrounding Apigenin's Myc-c upregulation are also an indicator this might be able to help us re-program cells that are cancerous. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23376608/
It most assuredly does NOT cause cancer. Surface level measurable myc-c upregulation that seems circumstantial almost but in detail its not being expressed in a way thats concerning. https://cancerci.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12935-021-01888-x
Here is the only documented instance of Apigenin toxicity. Essentially, you have to somehow be taking it even after it makes you pass out for it to start causing problems. https://cdn.caymanchem.com/cdn/msds/10010275m.pdf https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3281105/ No documentation of issues with humans because Apigenin is not ordinarily delivered intravenously, and especially nobody is out there pumping the gas on it while you are already asleep from it.
Regular metabolization (I experience it faster once adding the tributyrin during the protocol.) "For all participants, plasma apigenin concentration rose after bolus ingestion and fell within 28 h under the detection limit (2.3 nmol/l)." https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16407641
Apigenin is listed as having a degree of GSK3 inhibition. https://applbiolchem.springeropen.com/articles/10.1007/s13765-017-0271-2#
From what I have read, there is overlap between GSK3a and GSK3b (and it might not be of overall consequence), however it should be noted that CHIR990021 inhibits both. Apigenin, Curcumin, and Genestein only inhibit GSK3b.
Apigenin continues to prove to be an ameliorating agent in the human body for all sorts of problems, across every tissue, every part of the body. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5554558/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34076830/ https://journals.physiology.org/doi/full/10.1152/ajpheart.00118.2021 https://cancerci.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12935-021-01888-x
It's extremely safe.
And the fact it boosts butyrate is by far my biggest signaler to apigenins core destiny in human function. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6152273 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4019962/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32610574/
Telomeres Telomeres come up in conversation allot, but are better to be thought of as biomarkers or clockhands rather than the gears driving aging. None of the data held in your telomeres is ever permanently lost. Apigenin is documented here to be able to modulate transcriptional telomerase when interacting with cancer. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6949317/#:~:text=Several%20studies%20showed%20that%20pluripotency,activate%20telomerase%20genes%20during%20reprogramming.
And in general Yamanaka Factor gene activation will restore their length. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3317569/
Nanog suppression/expression depending on context https://www.mdpi.com/2218-1989/13/3/404 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35310040/
From the way I look at it, this is exactly what Apigenin was made to do. It's a generalist and a specialist. We need to situate the body for, and ultimately activate Yamanaka factors - CHECK Inflammation/GSK3 inhibition (to its own small degree it can manage) - CHECK Increase HDAC inhibition via butyrate - CHECK
Remember, Apigenin can make pluripotent stem cells retain their pluripotency, unaided. This power is also safely orchestrated in adult cells, further underlying the contextual power this substance really has in ameliorating states safely.
But we cant do all of this work effectively enough in the body with Apigenin alone.
So we add Butyrate to ensure we have a separate chemical pathway unfurling your DNA from your histones for easier access, and it's synergistically amplified by the Apigenin, and we add the curcumin which has it's own synergistic HDAC inhibition with the Butyrate AND helps handle the inflammation. The added Calcium is there to make sure that when conditions are well enough for OSM activation they are fueled. [TDWS1991@protonmail.com](mailto:TDWS1991@protonmail.com) u/Mattsth3dud3
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