Pictures of big time rush katelyn tarver

Hey there, I’m Akio. I’m 22 and have been roleplaying for quite some time. I’m not gonna go on a whole spiel, but I’m looking for a long term partner to rp with. I can do multi paragraphs and one liners, I don’t care if you’re an accomplished novelist or starting out, I’m welcoming to all.
What plots?
Well, that’s up to us to discuss about. I do have a number of fandoms that I’d love to explore more. Tanya, the evil. AOT, JJK, Blue exorcist.
What if you’re not looking forward to that? I am more than ready to provide us with some original story lines. I’m a big romance lover, slow burn, action, etc. I will jump all over the place. Really though, I’m okay with anything.
I respond quickly as long as my phone is on me. I’m an excitable person and do like to talk a bit. Hopefully we’ll get along well and have some fun together.
Lastly, I know this is really a rushed post, but I am serious about finding someone who’s as passionate about this hobby as me. It’s been a core part of my life and coping mechanism for years. I want to share my passion with others likeminded. Hopefully you’ll hit me up!
you should definitely tell me about your opinion on pineapple being a topping for pizza

Hey Redditors, First time poster
If this is in the wrong place, let me know and Ill remove it.
I was hoping some people here might be able to shine some light on my options here since I'm a relatively new renter and not sure what to do in this situation.
I currently rent with a roommate in a downstairs 'apartment' of a house that was crudely turned into a Duplex;

• The house is split in half with pieces of ply wood separating our unit and the one upstairs.
  
• We have our own entrance to the house
  
• We do not have separate meters/hook ups, the utilities are shared with the tenants in the upstairs unit.
  

He has been renting this place to us as a 2 bedroom unit although my room for the lack of a better term would probably be considered a 'storage room' more then an actual bedroom;
Ive looked into what would legally be considered a bedroom. I have a door, the space is probably fine in terms of size, up until very recently it didnt have a ceiling (which we will get into), and there is no windows in the room at all. Not sure if this information matters, but I want to be as thorough as possible.
Here is where the story begins;
The tenants upstairs have been complaining almost weekly very recently about issues with the water pressure upstairs. We have been living here with them for close to 3 years and it hasnt been a problem until around the beginning of 2024.
Our landlord had sent in atleast 5 different contractors/plumbers/etc... to come take a look but none have given a definitive answer or solution. After a few more conversations, they want to expand the pipe coming to the house to see if that can solve the issues for water pressure and that they would be in contact about the work soon. That line runs right through my room so I would need to pull everything out.
A couple weeks goes by, we hear nothing...
Suddenly, the landord emails me and my roommate on Sunday March 28th, 2024 around 5pm that he has scheduled for work to start on Monday March 29th, 2024 in the morning (no forewarning at all). When we asked about timelines he told us he will be putting a ceiling in my room after the other work is done for the pipe and the work would be 3-4days.
So when I get home that evening, I pull all my things out of my room and into the living room. Only things left in my room are things that cant really be moved anywhere else or cant fit through the door. (Dresser, desk, and I put the bed frame up on its side and out of the way.)
They dont show up Monday or Tuesday at all. They finally show up Wednesday May 1st, 2024 to start the work. They are pretty much done work, just waiting on an electrician now (so he says) and I've been keeping track of things as they had been working and this is the sum up of events;

• I'm still in the living room currently if they arent done by tomorrow, that would make is 3 weeks I havent had any access to my bedroom even though we were told 3-4days.
  
• They damaged my property. My dresser is damaged, it looks like they stood on my desk at some point and caused damage to it, theyve been using our dinner table chairs to stand on, they even damaged the floor in multiple places.
  
• There is plaster + plaster dust all over the house, all over counters and the floors to and from the room and all over our kitchen aswell. (This honestly is the least of my problems, Im going to clean it anyways and it wouldnt be that big of a deal if there wasnt so many other problems here)
  
• We asked a few times to see if it was possible to put a window in that room for fire escape and was denied for it.
  
• They built a new bathroom for the guys upstairs on the main floor instead of on the second floor so they could get better water pressure... Right above my where my bed would have to be. We were not told about this until about 2 days ago after they already finished building it
  

As you could probably guess, I'm not too happy about a lot of this so I decided to message my landlord yesterday evening and let him know some of my frustrations. Providing pictures and reasoning behind my concerns and offering to make myself available to speak about this either in person or over the phone, which ever is preferred.
He comes back and messages my roommate (not me directly) and says he will not be contacting me and said that my message was a 'threat' AND he is going to be charging us $150 starting in July because of the new house 'improvements'.
Honestly, I could get into alot of different things. Like the mould thats been all over the bathroom and part of the house since we moved in... or even the state of the house when we did initially move in was absolutely unacceptable. But that is a story for a different time and too much to get into here.
Ive attached pictures here of the message I sent to the landlord (censored to protect identities) and some of the pictures of the damage that I also sent to him.
So I am confused on what my plan of actions should be here. He didnt 'improve' anything in ours unit, he put a ceiling in my room and thats about it. There is still water pressure issues and only the guys upstairs got a new bathroom. I dont even think my room is a 'legal' bedroom but I'm not confident.
Do my messages seem threatening? I tried to be very articulate and firm about what my concerns are and that I am willing to speak about it. Does he have the right to just increase our rent like that? Does anyone have any suggestions? is this even worth pursuing?

So this is sort of a vent post as well as looking for advice. I’ve been with my wife for over 10 years now. Our sex drive was high when we were younger all the way up to having our kid. I completely understand that woman go through a lot of hardships during and after pregnancy. Since pregnancy her health and Weight have been an issue to say the least. She’s not big by all means but definitely has a body image problem. None of that ever bothered me and I’ve done a lot to make her feel beautiful and Try to give her confidence. To my point, her sex drive is SUPER low to the point of when I try to initiate in any way: massages, romantic room set up, making out, pictures, dirty texts, pure of the moment. All that and 98% of the time I’m either turned down or she ignores it all together. Just a bunch of really frustrating moments and idk what to do next.

Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
The Colonel’s tent was leaking again. Ordinarily such a mistake would’ve earned his adjutant an hour-long dressing down and possibly, if the Colonel was feeling particularly enthusiastic, a sharp backhanded slap across the face. After all, a leaky tent could hardly be said to be hermetically sealed, now could it? But this affront to his sensibilities paled in comparison to the utter travesty and exemplar of sheer incompetence that now sat before his desk, a sagging wreck of a man in the tattered uniform of a Fleet officer. Colonel Moch Leelan curled his lip at it and barked:
“Once more, if you please. And I don’t want this on record,” he added, darting a look at the clerk poised to take dictation in the corner of the room, “Not a word of this gets out. There’s been enough of a snafu already, and the brass won’t stop shitting down my neck about Mound 13 and the loss of Prota’s pestilential pet project. Did you hear me, man? I said start from the beginning!”
Outside the monsoon was intensifying into one of those proverbial downpours which prompted doddering old men to remark that it was ‘raining cats and dogs’, though what either a cat or a dog were, none could now say. A trickle of it seeped in like a string of winking glass beads, catching the orange glow of the gas lamp and turning into sparks of amber, into seeds of flame. They dripped on the bald man seated on the low footstool, and he raised his head to meet the scornful gaze of the Colonel, grey eyes unabashed and unafraid. He spoke then, in a hoarse voice that matched his pallid flesh and buzzard nose:
“It was the third day of reconnaissance. We were forced to abandon our pack-beasts in the mire. My assistant and I—”
“Name, rank and serial number!” Colonel Leelan interrupted, for the sole purpose of seeing the coward blink and quaver like the worm he was. But in that he was to be disappointed, for the man continued in the same flat tone:
“Sollem Deschane, Lord Navigator, 3^rd Pathfinder Regiment, serial number 18911944. We received orders from the Admiralty and Fleet Command to reconnoiter the area around the enemy concentration designated as Mound Euler. I was to lead a platoon of twenty handpicked volunteers across the river Foss at its lowest point, then scale the outlying cliffs to get better readings as we mapped out the approaches to Mound Euler. It was the third day of reconnaissance. We were forced to abandon our myropods in the mud and carry our own gear. My assistant navigator Rene Louvoture and I noticed a discrepancy with our visually confirmed data and the aerial sketches of the Aeronautical Division. We quickly worked out that the enemy concentration far exceeded initial estimates by an order of magnitude. Mound Euler is an omega-class colony the likes of which the Fleet has faced only once in its entire existence, during the Scouring of Assail. It is my belief that—”
“Leave your hysterics for later and get on to meat of things,” Leelan snapped. Deschane straightened a bit in his seat and scowled as his layers of bandages shifted. The man was practically mummified by the sheer extent of his wounds that it was a wonder he had managed to limp into the tent in the first place. But the navigator had made a point of refusing to be debriefed in his sick bed and had insisted that he be given no further pain killers. This was to prove that his report was not at all influenced by the effects of opiates, as well as to underline the supposed importance of his eyewitness account as the sole survivor of the siege of Mound 13.
But Colonel Leelan was no fool. He knew the tactic for what it was: a bit of playacting by a soon-to-be-disgraced officer, a desperate attempt to pass himself off as a tragic hero rather than the author of the most monumental military cock-up of the decade.
You may very well get that wish, Deschane, Leelan smirked inwardly. If you play your cards right. You’ll find that I can put on a pantomime as well as the next man.
Deschane regarded him cooly, replying:
“You asked for my report, sir. I am stating the facts as I understand them.”
“Understand?” Leelan guffawed, “There’s precious little to understand about this debacle! Explain to me how a routine scouting mission winds up in the loss of 5,000 men, a Rear-Admiral and an entire frontline outpost! Explain to me how you not only got every last one of your own men slaughtered, but still managed to save your own sorry arse!”
Now that had an effect on the navigator’s bearing. He dropped the holier-than-thou attitude and even pretended to dab at some moisture in corners of his eye. For a moment his mask of iron cracked and he looked tired enough to sleep for a thousand years, never to waken. Then he seemed to recall that his career was at stake and had the temerity to argue with the Colonel:
“We were given faulty intelligence. I made mistakes, I’ll admit that here and now. We should never have continued after our pack animals were trapped in the mire. The gear slowed us down in enemy territory. I can’t wash my hands of the loss of my platoon. They were the best and bravest men I ever fought with, and I will carry the shame of losing them to my grave. The fact that I am still alive when none of them are breathing is an accident that was not of my choosing. As for Mound 13, it was only a matter of time before they were discovered and dealt with. They were only two day’s travel from Mound Euler. In fact, it was miracle they managed to exist for so long undetected.”
Magnificent deflection. Colonel Leelan had to admire the snake and his flawless attempt to pass the blame onto the shoulders of the dead Rear-Admiral Prota.
Yes, I think we can make an arrangement here, the Colonel thought wryly. He waved Deschane’s prattling aside and said:
“This omega-class colony of yours. A mound so large that is beggars belief, you say? Curious, then, that such an object should have escaped your keen senses for three whole days!”
“Visibility in that terrain and climate is poor. But yes, it was another one of my errors.”
“I’m so glad that you agree,” Leelan purred, his words dripping with condescension. He reached into the drawer of his desk and took out a bottle of fermented honeydew. Uncorking it with a loud pop, he poured out two glasses and lifted one to his lips, saying:
“On a related note, it’s funny how the fog of war can obscure so many important details. Even the best commanders can lose their bearings, lose sight of the greater picture, fixate on the wrong things. Take our dearly departed Rear-Admiral Prota, for example (may she rest in the Flight Eternal). Not to speak ill of the dead, but she was assigned an entire sector for her research into enemy behavior. And what does she do with it? Cultural studies! Anthropology! As if the Amits have a culture worth sneezing at! They’ve been working with flint and wood since this primeval war of ours began, and they’ve never taken the hint. Meanwhile, we’ve finally gained the advantage of powder and artillery and mass-produceable gas masks.”
“One big push! That’s all it would take to clear the northern highlands. We have the men, the will and the technology to do it! The last thing we need is some starry-eyed academic telling us that the Amits have somehow found religion. I mean, really!” Colonel Leelan warmed to his subject, “Five thousand soldiers dedicated to safeguarding some blessed cave paintings, right on the frontlines, too! What a waste. Like you said: if you hadn’t led the Amits directly to them, someone else would have down the line.”
“We took steps to ensure they wouldn’t follow us. We tried, but they found the fear-death pheromones—”
“Steps?” Leelan pressed him mercilessly, “What steps, exactly?”
Deschane looked away and said nothing. Leelan sniffed, continuing:
“I thought so. As I was saying, Prota’s project was doomed from the start. It was an ill-conceived, harebrained mission, and now the Admiralty will have to explain to Fleet Command and the general public how it lost an entire regiment in the name of some woman’s flight of fancy. But there is a silver lining to all this. Seeing as how we recaptured what was left of Mound 13 within mere hours of it falling, we think there’s a way to salvage the situation after all. You can be part of that, Deschane. Every victory may have its price, but it must also have its heroes.”
Leelan sipped his honeydew, waiting for the offer he’d made to sink in. Deschane smiled, a humorless crack in his granite features.
“You’re going to make me a hero?” he asked. Leelan nudged the other glass towards him, shrugging:
“And why not? Someone has to wear the medals. ‘Lone Survivor of Desperate Last Stand’,” Leelan exclaimed, dramatically forecasting the future headlines, “He tried to warn them, but did they listen? You get the rest, I imagine. We’ll have to improve some of the details, of course. Like how it was the 3^rd Pathfinder Regiment which held back the flood of Amits in the final hour and ignited the fortress’ ammo depot—”
“We never did that,” Deschane objected, rudely cutting off Leelan’s train of thought, “It was the Divine Engine. I saw it with my own eyes. It broke out of Mound 13 and slaughtered the enemy.”
Leelan sighed.
“Not this again. Deschane, I’d appreciate it if you’d save your hallucinations for the regimental shrink. Think, man! The honor of our unit is at stake here. You have a chance to redeem the men of your platoon, even if you can never truly redeem yourself.”
“I saw it,” Deschane growled, and for a moment Leelan almost reached for his ceremonial saber hanging by its belt on his coatrack, “Sir, it left footprints the size of—”
“For heaven’s sake, you witless worm, the earthquake was felt all the way in the Southern Delta! Not very big one, but certainly enough to account for the avalanches and landslides that took place around Mound 13, not to mention the sinkhole we found you snoring in! It’s certainly not the first time an uncontrolled detonation triggered a seismic event. Deschane, I’ll only say this once: either you get your story straight or by thunder, I’ll bury you so deep in shit you’ll start to think you’re made of it! And you are! If you breathe a word of this delirious vision of yours to the press, you’ll not only receive no medals, but I’ll have you court-martialed faster than you can say ‘diddly-squat’. Which is precisely what you’ll be left with unless you jump like a good boy and ask how high. No honor, no rank, no reputation, no pension. Nothing! Do you understand?”
Colonel Leelan wrathfully thrust the glass at Deschane, spilling most of it in the process.
“Well, do you?”


Deschane hobbled out of the tent, escorted by a pair of grenadiers in fluffy white shakos. They sealed the adhesive lining of the tent airlock after him and the Navigator went on his way, the taste of honeydew lingering on his tongue like a bitter poison. He lifted his mask and hawked up a gob of spit that eloquently described his opinion of the colonel, wiping his scowling mouth with the back of his hand.
Ven was waiting for him with the crutches, a young and rather portly corporal with apple cheeks and a worried, pouting mouth. She helped Deschane as he made the slow and painful walk across the encampment to his field tent, the lord navigator deep in thought. Along the way they cut across the central avenue of the camp where a seemingly endless artillery train was lumbering its way up from the south and curving around the broad talus skirts of Gorgo Plateau, teams of scuttling myropods hitched to six or twelve-pounder guns, their hundreds of tiny legs threshing the soil into a quagmire. Behind them, plodding dejectedly into the rapidly liquefying mud, were ranks upon rank of fresh colonial levees, their brand-new sealant suits creaking loudly at the joints as they made what for most of them would be their first expedition into the surface world.
And what a foray it would prove to be. Almost two hundred thousand men amd women were mustered here at the edge of civilization, poised on the cusp of what was to be the largest surface offensive in recorded history. The Fleet had arrived in the Northern Hinterlands, and it had come to conquer.
"Gangway!" the levees hollered at Ven as she tried to cut a path for Deschane through the line, "Can't you see we's marching 'ere, ya stoopid bint?"
"He's an officer, ain't he?" she screamed back, pointing at the navigator.
Upon noticing the faded chevrons on Deschane's shoulders some of them clumsily snapped to attention, stopping in their tracks. Their comrades behind them, oblivious to this turn of events, bowled right into them, causing a minor stampede. Men and women cursed as they dropped their pristine muskets, never fired in the heat of battle, into the churning soup at their feet, or themselves went sprawling on their hands and knees. Baton-wielding sergeants descended on the mess, screaming for them to get back up, generously assisting them with a boot to the rump or a smack on the side of the head. Deschane looked back at the display for a long moment, as if considering something. Abruptly he grunted at Ven and they continued on their way to the outskirts where the Pathfinders were billeted.
She waited until they were inside the tent and Deschane was back in his sick bed, the navigator turning his back to her in stony silence. Cautiously, she ventured:
“What now, sir?”
“Draw up a list of volunteers,” he rasped, “But do it on the sly. We’re going back out there."
"Very good, sir," Ven squeaked, and went scurrying out of the navigator's chambers, sealing the tent flap softly behind her. She knew that tone and what it signified: the lord navigator had made up his mind, and heaven help whoever would stand in his way.
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

i have been looking for a girlfriend for a while and I'm currently not meeting a lot of female company other then some friends. so i thought i should give reddit a try.
feel free for a picture as I'm a bit on the heavier side, I have short dark blond/brown hair with some limited facial hair which is shortly trimmed. I think I'm not bad looking but again just ask for a picture and decide yourself.
i like to game a lot and talk online to people in the evenings on the weekend i go out from time to time but I stay in more then i go out which can change but I have no need for it now. I'm interning at a hospital atm and soon ill be studying a small course.
I'm a big voice caller or chatter and love watching movies together so i would like to call on discord from time to time
enough about me what do i want very simple. honest, open-minded, between the ages of (20-28) and other then that we have a real connection. hope to meet you soon :).

Forgive me for how bad this is because I'm awful at writing posts especially about myself but I'd love to meet some cool people and have some chilled chats about anything!
Here is some basic information about me if you're interested:
I'm Rory from the North Of Ireland and yes, I've got a weird accent
I currently work for the government, unfortunately I'm not a spy or anything exciting like that
I love music and I'm always going to gigs but my taste changes all the time, Some of my favourites lately are IDLES, Viagra Boys, The Smile, and Fleet Foxes. I also love sharing songs and playlists so feel free to send them my way
I'm a big traveller and love going on adventures especially to new places
I'm a bit of a gamer and play PS5/PC but I'm a bit of a loner in that department and would be down to play with some new people
I have a unhealthy addiction collecting vinyls
I'm constantly rewatching the same tv shows such as the office, it's always sunny in philadelphia, peep show, and the thick of it but I'm open for more recommendations
I enjoy reading books or watching documentaries on true crime and Irish history because I'm a loser
If none of the above interests you I have two dogs who are the best bois in the world and I can just provide pictures of them
I don't know else to say and feel like I've rambled on enough so hit me up if you'd like to! Have a good day! :)

I reluctantly started babysitting 2 children in my home and I told the mother I was hesitant about starting because I wasn’t sure that I’d have everything I need to take care of them or how good I was with kids since my experience is limited to just my own children
She assured me she would make sure they had what they needed and so far she does make sure the infant has diapers and formula, there’s been days I ran out of baby water and I just boiled or like today she didn’t sent wipes so I had to open a pack of my own that I had for home/travel use.
We talked about her sending food like fruit/bread/snacks because the mother said she would and she has only done that once out of the several months I’ve been doing this I’m feeding the toddler everyday she goes through fruit and snacks like crazy
The payment arrangement hasn’t been what we discussed, she pays me less than we agreed on but I haven’t said anything
In the first day I started, I noticed something abnormal on their skin, told the mom after noticing for a couple days and getting worse and she said she just noticed that after picking them up from my house one day and she took them to the dr and they were given antifungal medicine but I just didn’t like the way she commented on it like it happened after dropping them off. I should have said something the first day but it was small and on the back of the infants neck so I forgot plus it did cross my mind that the mom probably had already known. I think I did mention that I applied a small amount of diaper cream to the area
She only sent a bouncer with the infant and told me that it was fine to keep the newborn in the car seat or the bouncer for sleep and I didn’t approve of that sleeping situation because the risk of asphyxiation so the only thing I had was an old, firm pack n play insert mattress that I lay on the floor and the baby sleeps there with close supervision.
The toddler started off napping on my bed but my bed appears to be too high and the toddler almost fell off one day so I started making a comfy lil pallet in the floor and laying them down there but they won’t nap and will constantly get back up and be fussy until they nap. I took a large blanket and ripped an end at the top and a piece at the bottom and I wrap the toddler up in the blanket and use the little ripped ends to wrap around her again and then to secure this little bundle around them and it keeps them from getting up when I lay them down.
I made a post about this recently and commenters were pretty harsh as I had an odd choice of wording but i see what I’m doing for nap times as my next best available option. I’m on the market for a free pack n play and after commenters fussed at me for how the toddlers nap time arrangements were, I reached out to the mom the next time she dropped off
Which i actually didn’t hear from her over the weekend and didn’t see them the first day of the week when i normally would and i got paranoid but it turned out she just stayed home because the toddler got into their edibles
and I asked would she be willing to help me find a pack n play or buy one so that I don’t have to continue wrapping her toddler in a burrito to keep her from getting out of their sleeping pallet when it’s nap time. I showed her pictures of the baby burrito both awake and asleep to show her that the toddler isn’t fussing about being put into a burrito the entire time. I told her they show signs of discontentment when I first tell them it’s time to go nap and when I get them to lay on the blanket for me to wrap them in. By that I mean, i see them make a disgruntled facial expression and they may grunt about it and whine slightly but once wrapped, the toddler goes right on to sleep. Once the toddler wakes up they can even manage to wriggle out of it
The mother looked at the toddler burrito I invented and laughed and said that she didn’t care if I continue sleeping arrangements that way as long as I’m continuing to monitor them and check periodically for signs of life (breathing) which is completely normal as a mom to check for in any sleeping baby or toddler regardless of sleeping arrangement.
I explained my reasoning to the mom and she was in a rush to go to work so she really brushed it off and said she understands I’m making do with what I have the best I know how. I think that affirmed to me that what I was doing was with good intentions but I told her I would still be trying to get a pack n play because obviously I would prefer their sleeping arrangements to be as safe as possible. She looked at me funny and said in all honesty she has no intention of buying one or picking one up off the curb if she saw one for free because what I’m doing works fine. So I kind of didn’t know what to say but I’m still gonna look for one.

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Sorry this might be long and this is my 1 real post here. But basically my nephew we will call A (16M) has had a crappy hand felt to him over the last few years, and he now is just existing and not living. I have him in therapy, he refuses medication, he is a good size boy so I can’t really force him to do anything… he stands almost 6ft and over 200lbs, I am 5’3” and 165lbs… he is not fat by no means. But a big strong boy. Back story…. He was adopted at birth from my sister’s bff’s daughter. But was not told he was adopted until he was 13yo. He has known his birth mom and his bio family including 1/2 siblings his entire life. Then at 14 his Dad passed away suddenly, and then 16 months later his Mom died suddenly. She I his Aunt who he has never lived in the same state with got custody based on the parents wills. We have an ok relationship, considering we only have seen each other a few times a year, but I love him more than anything. I have been an empty nester for several years (my only child 38f). So after 2 months of figuring out how him & his 29M brother we will call him J could stay in his current state was determined it was not cost effective. J lives where I do many states away. So I packed him up and brought him home. J bought a house and A wanted to live with J and it is in the same city, so I agreed. While living with me he did not want to got to school fought him every morning, caused so much stress that my spouse was a jerk to him everyday. And A did nothing to help us, he did not do homework, slept played games, and argued about getting up and doing anything responsible, very disrespectful and absolutely shut down. I got him in Boxing as well to help him with a way to let out his aggression along with the counseling. But we are at our wits end. He is skipping school to the point today I called the SRO at school and had the officer come to his home to pick him up and take him, luckily by the time he got there he was up and in J’s car so J took him. He won’t pass his classes, doesn’t care if he fails, doesn’t care about getting a license, doesn’t care if we ground him take everything away he will just sleep. Won’t shower, change clothes. I am at a loss, J is ready to throw in the towel, I am not, he is too important to me to let him throw his life away. I know he has a lot going on and I know that until I came into the picture he was not allowed mental health because he mom thinks it is a weakness or a joke. But All I do is want to cry. I want to coddle him, but he is not the cuddly type and I cannnot reward his bad behavior.
HELP!!! Please Help!

this is not me trying to sound like a crazy ex employee . i used to work at a certain dog boarding / daycare , i left for personal reasons . a big one being that this place had obviously been for the money rather than the care of the dogs they take care of , which was why i went into this type of business . they already had underlying issues , but after i left it seemed to have gotten worse . my partner still works at the same place , with this i get updated on what's going on . i am genuinely scared for these dogs , there is harm being done with zero repercussions . my partner and an ex employee i work with now have been seeing what we can do . our only problem , there's no kennel regulations in texas and the best we've been told is to tell police . we're wanting to see if there is anything else we can do before going to them . examples of things that's happened with little to no repercussions , and why i'm fearful for these dogs . content warning for what is being brought up next : harm on dogs .

• a few weeks ago someone left a silver lab out in the high 80s with no water or anyway to cool off for 15 - 20 minutes, possibly more . the dog could barley walk and was basically dragged back to his kennel . person did not let anyone know of this , leaving him in his kennel with no water or anything to cool him down . the only reason someone had noticed something was wrong was that the manager could hear his breathing through the wall that was connected to the office . his temperature had reached at least 106.7 , he was going in and out with his eyes rolling back . he soon had to be rushed to the vet , set with ivs to rehydrate and antibiotics . if they hadn't caught this in time it could have been worse . the person who left him and did nothing for his care , had no repercussions and is still able be in charge of the dogs . best they did was set up flyers for heat stroke . the manager back pedaled on some of the things and has been trying to play off as no big deal .
• there is constant outbreaks of kennel cough plus others as the owner does nothing to quarantine . when i first started to work there we had an area , which kept getting moved , to which then became nonexistent . there is very little care when sickness spreads . the owner will mix infected dogs with non-infected .
• got info that one of them employees is now strictly grooming and reception . why ? they beat a dog so bad with a stick the dog had to be rushed to the vet with possible brain damage . sadly don't know the dog as my partner only found this out due to the object being banned . the person still works there , main reason i'm scared is due to being able to groom dogs still . grooming is in its own room , where they can be alone with the dog .
• medication is constantly missed , but this does not seem to issue the manager or owner .
• the place is infested with rats and bugs , and the place is quite literally falling apart . no exterminator , nothing to help repair the building .

my partner is willing to get any proof that they're able to . it's a difficult situation as this is their only source of income at the moment , so they can't lose this job . they do not keep security footage either , but my partner is willing to get what they can . i fear for these dogs as the manager and owner obviously show no care to the actual animals . with the heat thing , i worry for the summer . mainly with the fact it was a single dog , yet the person has already showed enough neglect . somehow they can still be in charge of a whole group and staff . is there anything we can do ?

Hi,
TLDR: looking for advice for 'deep recovery' from autistic burnout, venting/rambling a bit about my situation
Sorry for the long post, my life hasn't been great the last few years and I'm hoping that if I describe it in detail then someone might have some advice for where to go next, or be able to tell me if I'm missing something obvious. I've bolded the bits where I'm asking for advice.
I (24F) am not officially diagnosed with aspergers or anything autism related, but am recovering from what I suspect is autistic burnout. I had symptoms of moderate to severe CFS last summeautumn but am slowly recovering from it without any major crashes. When I read the description of autistic burnout I identified with it completely. The loss of skills and extremely reduced tolerance to stimulus on top of the fatigue is something I have really struggled to describe or explain to people (not helped by the loss of skills i.e. barely being able to put a sentence together to speak to someone). I've read Strong Female Character and Aspergirls, and am currently reading Unmasking Autism. I haven't completely self-diagnosed yet, but I am researching it and think it's a strong possibility. The first half of Aspergirls describes my childhood pretty well. I was often called a 'Highly Sensitive Person' and Unmasking Autism states that the creator of this term has said that the people she was talking about have since been diagnosed with ASD. Even if I am not Autistic, I often find Autistic people more relatable and easier to understand that non-Autistic people and find their advice for rest, sensory issues etc helpful to me. I am not looking for a diagnosis or diagnostic advice.
I currently feel like I'm starting my life over again, and I'd really appreciate advice on how to build a sustainable life when I have a lower tolerance for stimulus and find communicating more tiring than many people.
Context/life story: I'm from the UK. I have a degree in maths, was feeling burnt out and was going to take a gap year before doing a masters, but the pandemic happened and I moved back into my childhood bedroom. I couldn't face being stuck there again with no 'escape plan' so one afternoon I (impusively) signed up for a masters at a not so great uni and didn't do well academically. At the time I was considering a PhD and going into pure maths research. I don't have the grades to get funding for this. By the end of the masters my boyfriend had broken up with me and I'd lost touch with all my friends. The only person I 'spoke' to was my mother and even she'd say this was pretty one sided. In my dissertation presentation on zoom, I read a pre-written script and answered 'I don't know' to all the questions because I hadn't spoken to anyone in months and couldn't hold a conversation with the cashier in the supermarket about the weather let alone one with an academic about advanced maths. I scraped a pass.
After this was over (October 2021), I really felt like I needed a break. I decided I was going to have 2022 'off'. I was going to rest, get a job that didn't use my brain, move to a city so I wasn't so isolated (I live in Wales) and recover and rebuild before figuring out what I wanted to do next. I couldn't figure out how to move to a city without getting a professional job. I asked some family for advice but they didn't know either. I didn't know how to get any job near the town where I live. It's very cliquey, I don't know anyone who's got a job through a formal application process, it's always through a family or friend connection, and I'd lost touch with everyone by this point, my mother doesn't have any contacts and the rest of my family lives in another country. I get filtered out of formal applications because I'm overqualified and bad at lying. Spring 2022 I got sick of it and applied for about 5 software dev jobs. I got one basically without being interviewed. In hindsight that was the first red flag.
I moved to a city 5 hours away. I won't go into the details of the job but it wasn't great. I discovered they had a vrey high turnover for a small company. The new hires previous to me had lasted weeks, one only lasted days, before going on stress leave. I did 10 months. I signed a rental agreement for a year and was too exhausted to search for another job to pay for it. It was full time in the office because I was a junior. I had one friend who lived 3 hours away and every time we met up it was me driving to them, and my sibling needed a lot of help with uni and job stuff so I drove the 5 hours back home most other weekends. I did too much, but I didn't know how to not do too much. Within a few months of each other, my dog died, my grandad died and it was the 10 year anniversary of my dads death. I never had a bad performance review and I quit due to 'personal reasons'. The final straw for me was when I noticed in the office I was physically shaking from exhaustion when I reached for my mouse or keyboard. I think I must have been running on adrenaline or something because it was 2 months before I properly crashed. In this time I moved my stuff back to my childhood bedroom, and that is where I am now. July last year was when I crashed and thought I had CFS etc.
I would say I'm mostly recovered from the physical fatigue. I walk 10k+ steps a day and this helps me mentally. I know I should do more restorative yoga, I see this more like stretchy meditation than exercise and it also helps mentally. I used to enjoy powerlifting and I've tried a few times recently but I think I need to take that super slowly because I get carried away and it wipes me out for a few days after. Skills-wise, I am able to read books again, albeit books I've read before or childrens books. I sometimes have 'high energy' days when I'll read more non-fiction and try to plan my recovery. I am not up for doing technical computer stuff. Things I used to know still go completely over my head. Sensory-wise, I struggle having the big light on for more than 10-15 minutes at a time. I try to reduce screen time. I barely watch tv. I've deleted most social media so I only check instagram once or twice a week on my laptop, and I go on reddit or youtube if I'm looking for something in particular. I try not to listen to too much music otherwise the brain fog gets worse, but that's hard becuase it's one of the few things I feel connects me with the outside world at the moment. When family come round and there are group conversations, I cannot follow anything that's going on and it may as well be white noise. I haven't been in a public space for a while, so I don't know how I am with the background noise. I've reconnected with school friends and am going out for dinner soon, so I'll find out then. I will also find out how I hold up in conversation.
In the next few weeks I plan on looking for part time work. Any advice on suitable jobs would be welcome. I also start a compassion focused therapy group next week, after going to the doctors about this in october of last year *sigh*. I plan on working part time and living at home while figuring out what I want from a career and how to build a life. I wish I could just move to London but it's so expensive.
I see pure maths as closer to the arts than the sciences, and also enjoy fiction books (esp fantasy) and music. I played classical piano and violin/viola as a child to a reasonably high standard. I have no interest in computers really, it was just a job thats related to my degree and that I was good at. As a child I wanted to be a writer or a musician, but as a teen I prioritised moving out of my hometown and told myself that was something I didn't need to study and could work on in my free time. I had a 'maths brain' so it was easy enough to coast this path while I was grieving. I have learnt that the first things I let slide when I am stressed or busy, are the things I am interested in. Then it's chores, then my physical health. I have no idea when to stop or when to say no people. Not because I want them to like me, simply because saying no doesn't occur to me until after I've done it. I also don't notice when I am stressed or doing too much. I have gotten better at that the last few months.
In future, I think I need to prioritise my interests more than I have. I think I tried to 'fix' the stress from the things I 'had' to do with exercise and being very physically healthy. I think the solution is to prioritise working on my interests and passions. The thing I've found most helpful is keeping a diary. I started this last July. I'm now writing music and learning how to produce using Ableton. It's going very slowly but it's going. I've found creating things is better for me mentally than consuming them, even if I'm doing that using a screen. I am interested in the links between maths and music (group theory, geometry, topology etc), and plan to read more about this when I'm able. It would be a dream come true if I could somehow work self-employed doing this one day. I can't imagine working full time in an office again. It exhausts me too much to be able to do anything in my free time. I don't know how demanding it would be to work remotely full-time. I'm lucky I can live with family and work part-time for the forseeable future. There is no rush. I am 24.
Any advice on building a career your interested in, moving to a new city, managing stress and having healthy relationships would be very welcome. Or anything else you think it would be useful to hear.

I literally just got back from the stripclub and first thing I think of is to get this story down for you fine gentlemen.
I will provide background information where relevant, including the norms of the particular stripclub.
I've been into dominant women in general for a long time, and I've been into the fantasy of findom, but have never done it. Mostly because I have no interest in trying to make it happen over the internet, and it seems as if that's really the only place you can do it. But if I ever happened across a woman in real life that is into it? I could do it.
So, I've been giving strippers a second thought. I know, strippers aren't really findom, they just charge a lot for their services. But this was different.
Now I'm not a regular at stripclubs or anything. I'll go to them about twice a year on average, just to have some tits in my face. But I recently started thinking, hey, wait a minute, strippers love money, that's what they're there for. What if I got into findom with a stripper? And so this was the second time in a month I went to my stripclub, and it happened. Here's how it went down:
I sat at a table. Girls dancing on three stages. This place is topless only, so tits out, g-strings on. I order a beer. In a short time, a woman walks up to me and introduces herself. She sits down, we chat for like a minute, but I'm no stranger to these things, I know what I want, so I just ask for a dance, she says sure and we get up.
Her looks: Average height, fairly petite, absolutely perfect natural tits, with HUGE nipples. Just amazing nipples. If you like big nipples, this would be your girl. She had long blonde hair down to her tailbone.
So we go into the private room. It's small and dark. Total privacy, it's not one of those big open lap dance rooms. She gets on me, grinding, normal lap dance.
The style of lap dance at this club: Tops off, bottoms on, HEAVY touching. The girls grind on your dick, and will appreciate you having a hard on too and they target it like a Hunter Killer robot. Also, the cost is 20 dollars per song (HEYO that's already findom, am I right?) So 5 songs, about 25 minutes of grinding, would cost about 100 bucks.
Sometimes dancers will start jerking you off through your pants, sometimes they don't. This girl started doing so. Boner laid out along the thigh, hand wrapping as much as it can around it over the pants and stroking.
A couple songs go by, her perfect tits are in my face, she seems real cool, I shoot for it, I ask "Can I suck on them?"
Background: If the vibe is good and relaxed, sometimes I'll ask that. 50% of the time they're totally okay and say "sure" and shove their nipple in my mouth. The other 50% they'll say no sorry and I'm like no biggie it's all good.
She says, "for 500 dollars."
Right there, my heart leaps in my chest. No fucking way should that cost 500 bucks. She just doesn't want it to happen and this is a polite way of rejecting me. I kinda laugh it off and say "that's okay, a little rich for me."
Anyway, she's grinding, hand working, tits in my hands. The atmosphere is very calm and intimate, voices low. She brings it up again. Asks for 500 bucks. In a very alluring way. I am now already in a sub space. I politely refuse.
I know what you're thinking. This isn't findom, this is just a stripper trying to milk a dumb customer for an easy extra.
But things come around.
In the silence that follows, I dare a statement: "But I like how you keep asking."
She looks at me. A bit caught off guard herself. She says "hmm?"
We look at each other. "I like assertive women. Aggressive women."
I think it clicks in her head, then. She knows what I am. She grinds more, keeping the pace up hard. She asks for 500 again, naturally.
I say, "all I have is 200 in my wallet". This is a lie, I have about 250, but I'm sandbagging her cause my mind is spinning. Also, I only ever mean to spend a max of 100. Just me saying I have 200 is a rush.
She says, "go to the atm and get more money out."
My brain is going wild now. I say it. "You can take everything in my wallet."
"200 dollars?"
"Yeah."
We're both feeling a lot more free at this point. Gently, while her right hand is stroking me through my pants, I take her left hand, and place it on my neck. She immediately knows what to do, like an instinctual animal. She squeezes, starts choking me while grinding. Pushes my head hard back against the wall. She's not gentle, she does it nice and hard.
Then she just keeps it up. Tells me she wants me to go to the atm and get more money. I'm strong though. She says do it for your "Goddess 'insert stripper name'". She definitely knows what I am now. She has officially taken on the role of dominatrix.
"I have 250 in my wallet," I say, spilling the beans. It was an absolute rush.
"Give it to me."
We go back and forth, and she knows the lingo. I almost busted a nut right there but didn't. In the end, we do our final song, she stands up. Time to pay. I wanted to do it nice and paypig style, so I open my wallet and hand her the bills, counting it out to 250.
"Thank your Goddess for taking all of your money," she says.
I thank her, in a daze.
"Are you coming next week?" she asks.
"Yes," I say.
"Good, and next time there will be punishments for not doing everything I say."
We make arrangements and I leave.
All in all, we did maybe 5 songs. So it normally would have cost 100 bucks, so I basically paid a surcharge of 150 for her to indulge this kink.
And memories last forever.
Well guys, should I go back next week? I'm not a poor guy but I'm not a rich guy either. There's no way I could ever sustain this, but as a short term life experience, I feel like I have to, don't I? It was sort of a fantasy come true for me.

Played a 2.5k game against tyranids, my foe I knewn would have some damage two flammers and two big blobs of genestealers with broodlord so I took the following: 10 Terminators 1 Sorcerer in term armour 1 Vindactor 10 Havocs 1 Warpsmith 60 Legionaires 1 Sorcerer (with the soul link) 1 Chaos lord 3 MOE 1 Dark Apostle 20 Cultist Using our sub faction rule I did a semi aggressive deployment favoring my right flank, placing half the cultist on the right objective, backed up by two melee squads of ten each legionaries further back (One no attachments, other with regular Sorcerer and a MOE). While I placed my Dark Apostle with MOE in a squad of 10 legionnaires about 4 inches forward of my deployment zone but behind a big piece of cover. My friend got first turn, scout moved his genestealers forward, and moved forward with most of his army. Some overwatch killed 4 genestealers. His shooting killed most of my infiltrating units, and killed just shy of 30 legionaries. He also killed the 10 forward placed cultist on my right flank, 5 of my havocs on my left, decimated my Dark apostle unit and the chaos lord units. His charge and fight phase would wipe out my warpsmith, 5 more havocs and my regular sorcerer unit.
He kindly let me have a rematch and for me to change my list. I removed my terminators and added 40 more cultist and another 5 havocs. I decided to go all in with the infltrate, once again favouring the right flank with an even more aggressive deployment banking on that first turn rush. He got first turn, with me having a near repeat of the last time I conceded once again, thanked him for his time.
What I did learn was a few things, beyond the obvious swinging nature of over committing to infiltration was just how squish we are. Our lack of an equivalent to AOC, a very limited reaction move strat and a lack of good flammers make us feel very flimsy. This is compounded when you remember we are giving up critical hits on 5+, and ease Command Point generation. We feel like a very aggressive sub faction that does have a few interesting cards but the lack of stealth, good reactive shooting, no ability to alter one deployment, lack of AOC equiv, no good HQs to buff shooting (outside terminator sorcerer) and ways to get command points to use our good if sometimes a little niche strats can be devastating. I plan to try again next week with a list focusing less on our sub faction rule and more on a lot of havocs, legionaries with two squads of raptors and far fewer support characters to see if that is better. Yet I am struggling to find a good use of our shooting stratagem that acts the same way a MOE does in melee, the detonate stratagem can be very useful though requires us to be close, our charge strat can be a great way to get a deep strike unit into melee, our reactive stratagems feel weak, not to mention our relative lack of CP and the fact only two of our 6 stratagems can be used for free by our chaos lord. I feel we are weaker then the index sub faction. Not to mention we have no way to buff cultist, like we did a few editions ago or even anything for redeploy.
What do you fellow alphla legionaries think? What lists do you intend to take? Ands whats your out look on the new codex thanks for your time.

I (31F) might be the AH for something that happened 5 weeks.
The morning of my wedding was SUPER stressful. Lots of things went wrong and we were RUSHING to get our photos taken quickly. We had an upstairs section of the venue for photos that the venue was supposed to keep private, but did not. Despite having lots of space downstairs, everyone who arrived early chose to stand in the hallway upstairs next to where we were trying to do photos.
The noise and chaos was stressing me out and we were stuck in this small hot room. We had champagne and glasses for us to use for photographs in the hall, but we realized we were one glass short. When we were trying to figure out what happened of my bridesmaids says “well Kathy (my step mom 56F) is drinking from one.” I should have realized at the time that since our champagne bottle was unopened, Kathy’s glass was not our missing glass, but I didn’t. Regardless Kathy said “bride can use mine, I’m her step mom she won’t mind drinking after me!”
I was so annoyed by everything I stuck my heard in the hall and sternly announced that everyone who was not involved in pictures needed to wait downstairs as they were not supposed to be up here. There was a lot of grumbling but people relocated. As I processed more I then called through the door, “Wait Kathy, before you go we do need your champagne glass”. And she gave it to me.
I thought that was the end of it, but later when taking a photo with me dad he said “Kathy is really angry with you you know for accusing her of stealing your champagne and kicking her out from the upstairs”. I did definitely think at the time Kathy took the venue champagne, But I never voiced that to her and I did kick her and everyone else out of the upstairs when they did not know they weren’t supposed to be up there.
When it was time to do the whole family photo, Kathy tried to avoid being in the photo at all. my step brother forced her to come, she rolled her eyes and stood next to me, but refused to smile, look at me, or talk to me.
The stress from the day, then having someone mad at me just became too much. I had to take a break and cry for like 45 minutes. Kathy took photos with everyone else in the family smiling like crazy during the night then left the reception early because she had a headache.
When I told my dad how after he told me Kathy was pissed and then she was so visibly pissed in the middle of photos that I ended up crying for a while that morning. he just said “oh shit.” And changed the subject.
The next day, Kathy acted fine with me and had never brought it up
Edit for clarity: was I an AH to Kathy on my wedding day and would I be an AH if I confront her and my dad about being kinda jerks on my wedding day?

I'm sure many of you have come across "trad-wife" content at some point or another online. I've been fed this content more and more lately, which had me thinking about what this "trend" means for mothers and families, and what impact it has overall for the mothers who are still "in the trenches" today. Whether it's a trend you participate in, or one you roll your eyes at, I think for the most part, it garners an emotional response from women, especially mothers, in either a positive or negative light. I also want to make it clear that "trad-wives" and SAHM are NOT the same thing at all, and should not ever be used interchangeably. These are two completely different things. A SAHM is still a working independent woman whos job inside of the home to be viewed equally as important as any work outside of the home.
I fall under the category of someone who is triggered by "trad-wife" content and generally have a pretty negative, critical response every time I run into it. But today, as I came across a video of yet another "trad-wife" influencer, who was defending her lifestyle, and call to "traditional" ways, I decided to stop and actually take a minute and be honest with what emotion I was really feeling when I come across this content. It isn't actually rage, disappointment or fear, like I tell myself it is. It's jealousy.
The truth is, my first reaction is jealousy and a sense of inadequacy that feeds off of my deepest insecurities as a mother. Jealousy for the mothers that can stay at home all day with their children, who can clean, bake, garden and cook with their little ones at their side. And as someone who is a working mum, but not by choice, I feel jealous of the extra time these women can spend with their children during these short pre-school years. I feel inadequate because I secretly fear I am failing as a mother by choosing a double income, over the financial insecurity of a one-income household. Inadequate because my house is a mess and I'm burned out from work from a job I hate by the time I get home, that I worry my children aren't getting the best version of me.
After the initial emotional response of jealousy, my logical brain kicks in and reminds myself that this lifestyle they are showcasing isn't reality. Most SAHM's aren't baking sourdough on homesteads all day. They aren't showing the 3AM wakeups or the teething drama. This isn't an accurate representation of motherhood for 95% of us. This leads me to my next emotional response, which is to then to substitute jealousy for criticism. I begin to list all the ways their lifestyle is flawed, naive and unsustainable to give myself some false sense of superiority to these women who are essentially just cosplaying.
I'm sure this reaction isn't uncommon. I feel it's a natural response for people to substitute the emotion of jealousy with criticism to justify their own lifestyles and choices that feel attacked. You could argue that the "trad-wife" movement is just that--a way for some SAHM's who may feel the need to justify their lifestyle and choices of not be in the work force, when surrounded by a world that places outside work in higher esteem than domestic work.
However, I would like to clarify that just because I feel jealous when watching this content, doesn't mean I wish I was a "trad-wife". I find the entire concept to be just as toxic as the "hustle"/"girl boss" culture they are fighting against. Not to mention, a completely misinformed and myopic view of what a "traditional" wife or family looked/looks like throughout the world. The "traditional" wife they are cosplaying as is just ONE example of a historic "traditional" family and a woman/mothers role within one. Yes, women have always been charged with domestic duties and childrearing. The home has always been where women have traditionally been taught to focus on, however, women have also ALWAYS worked outside of the home too—either on farms, factories or kitchens (etc). And women have ALWAYS outsourced childrearing to either a nanny or governess (if wealthy) or they had their eldest kids stay home and look after the younger ones. Working mothers, and hired childcare are not new concepts to the female history.
But, I do see how this trend came about. It’s an allergic reaction to the extreme push for women to get out of the homes and into the workforce. To climb the corporate ladder while breastfeeding. To pity the girl with the college degree and spit up stains on her shirt at home with unused potential. To take “equal rights” so literally we act like a man’s life or parental journey is identical to our own. Ignoring our monthly hormonal fluctuations and pretend we're fine to sit through that 2 hour meeting while popping Midol. That we add more value to society as another cog in a machine sitting in a cubicle, then managing your home and family, because that's just "sitting at home" all day, right? And maternity leave is really such an inconvenience…
Looking at both extremes, I found it funny how both sides share the same core issues/beliefs which do nothing but hold mothers, and families on both ends of the spectrum back. This is what I found were the major issues in the perception of motherhood at both extremes, when I took a step back and away from my own biases as a working mother.

1. We need to recognise that both lifestyles come with the enormous privilege many women don't have-- The ability to live off of one income is a privilege just like having enough money for childcare or family support is a privilege. For many, our family set up wasn’t a choice, it’s a necessity. The reasons to be or not to be a SAHM are not always a choice or preference. A lot of times these are hard decisions that include major sacrifices. Before you judge either lifestyle, acknowledge the privilege you might have in the CHOICE to follow either life path. A woman who HAS to work to keep her family fed, even if all she could afford were Poptarts for breakfast, is just as good of a mum as the one who made fresh sourdough that morning. The mum who has to go back to school shopping at the second hand store, and mend hand me downs to dress her kids on one income is just as good of a mum as the corporate baddie who bought her kids the trendy shoes their kid asked for. Both kids are fed, both kids are dressed, both kids are loved.
2. No matter what they say, we all love our kids, and how they turnout does NOT come down to your choice to work in or outside the home -- At the end of the day, I don’t think kids of working mums turn out much differently than kids of SAHM. I think we all know personal examples of rotten kids or adults with both types of mothers. Neither dictates your relationship with your child. As kids get older, they naturally drift away from us. The truth is we may mess up in ways we didn’t even consider. Our kids may always blame us for being overbearing by not having a life outside of the home. Or resent us for never being around because of work. Bad/toxic mothers can be found both in the home or the work force. Just think back to how the adults in our lives talk about their mothers--sometimes it was "mum had 6 kids at home, but she somehow managed to keep us all fed and cared for", or "mum had to work a full day cleaning houses, but she'd always make sure we read a book together after work". All mothers make sacrifices, no matter what type of sacrifice it is. Our kids aren't going to love or resent us for our choices to work or stay at home, but how we show up for them. Don't underestimate our children's ability to recognise our sacrifices on either end.
3. Full time domestic work and homemaking is a real full time job that hold just as much value as working outside of the home and should be treated and respected as such.-- Childcare is a full time job. Full time nanny's and daycares prove that. Homemaking is a full time job. We hire cleaners, interior designers and household staffs that prove it. Cooking, is a full time job. We hire chefs and nutritionists that prove it. So, when a woman is a SAHM does one (or more likely) all of the above jobs for her family, it’s given lesser value or consideration than someone who works outside the home? You hear “I like to get dinner ready and the house clean for my husband who worked all day he deserves to relax when he gets home”, as if you sat around watching tv all day? Just because you enjoy it, or it’s for your own benefit doesn’t make it any less of a real fulltime job. You deserve sick days and breaks throughout the day like any corporate job would...except you never actually get them. The person bringing in a paycheck doesn’t contribute a greater value to your family than you. And same goes for working mums—you already have one full time job, don’t discredit the work left at home as just “chores” that you additionally take on as “lesser value” expected tasks. If two people work outside of the home then two people need to be responsible for domestic work. These are full time jobs. Spouses cutting the grass and taking out the trash is not equivalent to cooking, childcare and cleaning. We need to stop ignoring the home in the overall picture of a healthy family life. We all need a safe place to live that is clean, we all need to eat nutritious food, and our children NEED someone to look after them. These things have a real invaluable place in society. As a working mum, I'm finding more and more how hard it is to bridge that gap, to manage two workplaces essentially, the home AND the outside work. All attention and focus goes to work outside of the home, but the home life doesn't just sustain itself. We are neglecting the importance of our domestic life in favour of the outside working life. This goes for both working mums and SAHM's. We need to stop ignoring that piece of the puzzle if we want to create the complete picture. As it stands now, most working mums cannot afford help in the home which is effecting our mental and physical health--SAHM's don't get any sort of financial nest eggs or assistance at basically working for free, which makes them more vulnerable to abuse.
4. Men need to be included in the domestic work in a way that sets them up for success. You are doing your family or spouse more harm than good by taking it all on yourself. -- By not giving dads a real opportunity to be involved in domestic duties you are depriving them and the children the full depth of a parent child bond and perpetuating that domestic life isn’t as valuable as outside work, or that domestic work is strictly a "woman's" domain. If you are a SAHM, and your job is to care for the house and kids, you just worked a full 8 hour day, just like your spouse. Because you stayed at home all day, most likely the basic chores have been done (though, kids are wild and even things like unloading a dishwasher can't be tackled), and maybe dinner is cooking. That alone is taking so much off of your spouses plate. Every family situation is different, every work situation is different, however, both you and your spouse are entitled to decompress a little after a full day. Dads need to be incorporated into the childcare aspect at the very least when they come home. Maybe since you spent all day with the kids, your husband gives them a bath and puts them to bed. Or, if you are a dual income house, maybe you split the bedtime duties, giving you the chance to spend SOME time with your children, after being gone all day--and just "play time" alone isn't enough or fair. I think a big way we fall down in including men into the domestic responsibilities, is for the same reason working mothers are struggling. The workforce was never set up with women or mothers in mind, and homemaking was never set up with men in mind. Now, some people will use this as an excuse to perpetuate that it shows that "a woman's place is at home", but studies have shown that over and over again, that fathers who are more involved at home make happier, more successful children. Children gain an enormous value from having fathers be just as involved in their upbringing as the mothers. And, I argue that men also gain just as much value from this. My husband is an equal partner in childrearing, and I'm in awe to see how much he has completely flourished and grown in this role. The truth is, most of us don't find fulfillment in our jobs. It's a paycheck. But a lot of us do find fulfillment in parenting. But to my point, we aren't setting men up to be successful in these roles, because men don't always think or approach things the same way as women. How many times have we had arguments with our partners because they ignored a mess, or didn't clean/do something properly, or we had to "nag" them to follow up on a chore...I know I have. But then I decided to take a step back and change my perspective on the home and family, and look at it as almost a military or corporate environment. Women don't thrive on deadlines and assigned tasks. We are better able to multitask, switch gears. To be too hyperfocused on one thing doesn't work so well when you have so many jobs to tackle at once. But men seem to work better with structure and direction. I feel like women see the big picture, and can zoom in from there, but men need to break things into smaller tasks before they can see the bigger picture. When a man retorts with "I'm not a mind reader", they are being just as dismissive to your needs and views as you would be by saying "you should just know". The truth is we are different. We were raised different, our brains function differently...but, I've found my partner excels in the household if he is given clear directions and expectations within the household. If instead of viewing it as two separate worlds, work and home, I approach it as equal sectors of one unit. Like how accounting is just as valuable to a corporation as their sales team. We are all operating for one goal, and one greater good. If your partner works outside the home, and you stay at home, then you need to view yourself as the manager of the home and delegate accordingly. How can you help your partner in their work day, and how can they help you in yours? You are on the same team. If you both work outside of the home, then you both need to take equal responsibility for the domestic work. You are both managers of the home, how can you support each other? What does one person do better than the other? Being passive aggressive because your spouse doesn't naturally see what needs to be done like you do, doesn't help anyone. Your spouse becomes defensive, and never learns, and feels out of place in home where you have inserted yourself as manager instead of an equal partner.
5. Other people’s choices don’t discredit yours no matter what they say. -- Everything seems to be a targeted attack these days. People can’t seem to live in a way that makes them happy without you feeling threatened by it. If a woman is happiest at home catering to their husbands whims, that has no effect on your choice to be a stay at home dad. One is not a threat to the other unless you begin to feel superior to another. That the way you choose to live your life is so superior you want to control the narrative and influence personal choices of others in your life by attacking someone else to lift yourself up. I can’t help but ask myself who is benefiting from staging us against each others? Definitely not the mothers. Lumping one group as “those people” keep us divided. Each side more extreme in their POV echoed by peers and targeted social media. We have been fed that it's an "us" versus "them" issue. That one side is pushing us back into the stone age, and undoing all the progress we have made in the feminist movement. The other side feels attacked for finding joy and value in living a life at home and as a mother, that society has stopped valuing their contribution...really, society as a whole hasn't changed much in the past 40 years. The workforce has more working mothers than ever before, but work culture and regulations have not changed to accommodate that. We have to change to accommodate them. SAHM's have always existed, but we have not elevated their status to show the equal contribution they have in our society. In the end, society is still just exploiting women. A capitalistic profit driven society benefits more from more people in the workforce. I think we are all angry at the same thing, a lack of choice and a lack of respect. Women fought hard to enter the workforce and gain independence and equal rights so that we could have the CHOICE of what our life would look like. But are choices are still being under attack. Being a SAHM or a working mum is no longer a choice for a lot of us. We are being goaded into believing one is more valuable than the other, and that's just not true. If you find peace and fulfillment at home, that doesn't make you any less educated or independent of a woman. And if you love your career and thrive in your work, that doesn't make you any less feminine (because apparently we can't be feminine and work anymore according to some...) or as good of a mother. We are humans and multifaceted and cannot and should not be defined by one singular role.

This ended up being some sort of weird feminist manifesto, which isn't want I intended, but I guess I had a lot to say on the subject. I suppose I'm just scared at how well social media has gotten at dividing us. Social media isn't inherently good or bad, it's a tool for connection, but now even mothers are being pitted against each other. We all know it takes a village to raise a family, but we've pitted the village against each other. We are too busy claiming we are "under attack" from our peers, when we're just puppets--they want us to feel "triggered", and I'm glad. Because now I'm triggered, but it's not at the "trad wife" who is harkening back to a world that never existed, but at the people who are instigating this. Who are filling women's heads with this nonsense, and trying to box up our "values" or what "femininity" means...what it means to be a woman and mother. Because being a woman and mother has meant a lot of different things throughout history. We control our own narratives. We need to stop insinuating that our way is the "right" way, or that society is faltering because women are no longer "feminine" or because women want to go back to staying at home. All of this is "right", all of this is "feminine". Being a woman can mean whatever you want it to mean, and being a mother just means loving your kids and doing your best everyday.
***NOTES: I know this was a very hetero/cis centric post that focused a lot of perceived gender norms that excludes the same-sex or trans families...even single mothers. It was written as a reaction to a "trad wife" trend that is extremely hetero/cis centric, so my reaction to it is from this perspective as a hetero/cis mother. However, I know these values and views totally effect all families no matter what they look like. So, I just wanted to put it out there that I see you, and would love to hear your voice on this as well.
Also, a lot of sweeping generalities in here as well. These are broad sweeping statements and generalisations based on societies general assumptions about genders and family life. Right, wrong or myopic, it's what we live in. My point in all this IS that every family and every person is unique, and that we can't keep functioning under the assumption that there is only one way or one family dynamic out there.

Lately I’ve been getting some great tips and just wanted to share how I think I’ve managed to sway over some home owners. Following this has led to me having over 100 reviews ALL 5 star
Before the appointment
I schedule most of my routes starting at 7. So I’ll text at 6:30 letting them know I’ll be ready and on time
“Hey this is Carnell with ___window cleaning just letting you know I’ll be there 7 a.m sharp”
This puts them at ease because most people are used to dealing with contractors who don’t show up on time or at all
Always show up 5 minutes early and text that you’re there. You won’t believe how many times I get thanks for being early because they expect you to show up hours late
During the appointment
ALWAYS send before and after photos of the work you’re doing after you finish the first few windows. No more then 1 hr into the work they should have a set of photos and a TikTok video or whatever you a use.
This shows multiple things

1. You’re working and your work is noticeable and actionable
   
2. Whenever your on your phone if they happen to see you could be taking photos or examining work. It’s less of a chance of them thinking you’re in there just to be on there
   
3. Keeps them updated. You’re a stranger going inside and out of their property and house. They don’t know you. I find this takes some of the apprehension out of hiring a complete stranger
   

ALWAYS ask for a drink like water or Gatorade and even a bite to eat.
Remember you’re selling yourself not window cleaning 🫡
This makes you more personable more real, and at least here in Fl where the heat index is 100+ people feel helpful when you do this. Especially older people. It sounds odd to ask for food but 9/10 times the customer is actually DELIGHTED when I ask for a sandwich or some spaghetti tie
Always play with their animals. Whether it be a dog or cow or cat or baby pig 🐽always point out, play with, and ask if they have any treat you can give them
This moves MOUNTAINS
Post Clean
When you’re wrapping up always send your final before and after pictures. This could be from the roof or the back of the house or wherever.
I usually do this when I clean the screens at the end before I clean or before I put them back on the windows
Wrapping up goes with this after payment
“I’m going to send you a copy of your receipt to your phone and email. Can you also leave a 5 star review ⭐️ on Google and Facebook? It’s really important as it helps others find me and Google and Facebook take those reviews VERY seriously
Awards you send a copy of their receipt AND the link to both your Facebook and Google page.
I find that walking them through a Facebook review helps because older people often don’t know to go to “recommended” to leave a reviews. Don’t forget to thank them for the tip (if you got one)
Here’s my my text looks: “I sent you a copy of your receipt :)
If at possible could you leave me a 5 star review on Google and Facebook They take those reviews SUPER seriously and it would be a big help
Here is the direct link to my Google page
And you already have my Facebook! lol
To leave a Facebook review it’s called a “recommendation “
You go to where it says 33 reviews > and then click it > then it will ask if you recommend me
Thanks for the tip btw! 😊🙏🏽💯”
Do this and watch the $$$ roll in.

This is for some reason so specific to Helldivers content. Every time I see a YT vid recommended that has an ai image as the thumbnail, showing some random bs that isn't in the game like an armor or weapon, I click the three ellipses and press "Don't Recommend this Channel" because they were so lazy and annoying to see. Okay not just that. I normally give people a watch and it's basically always low effort content as well, surprise surprise. But the thumbnails! I get it, less effort to screencap an image (as long as that even takes, c'mon) and the intrigue of the weird picture from people who don't really know about bad ai practices or just don't really care about it DOES likely lead to more clicks. But having an actual image of the weapon, enemy or your own helldiver is so much better!
Then one channel I liked watching videos from started doing it as well and I stopped watching. I kinda felt bad at first, thinking it was a little unfair of me. Like, is this the beginning of the same situation as content creators making videos with clickbait-y titles and thumbnails, but at this point it's just a really well-known and self-aware kind of "meta" that people just have fun with and overexaggerate on purpose, plus benefitting from more views? Like yes that's lazier than coming up with a good thumbnail pic as well, but most people I like watching know how and when to do that and if it does end up being repetitive, I just don't even think about it because I like the content from them itself.
But no, this is different, the ai thumbnails are annoying and ultra lazy. Plus the influx of ai art usage is really despised in the art community and rightfully so. I'm sure many, many people feel the same way as me and don't wanna see ai crap used that way. So why not turn it all around and commission actual, real art for thumbnails? It's so eye-catching and I'd click in a heartbeat! Yeah, there are things to keep in mind like art can't be rushed, so that doesn't always work with people's upload schedule and it costs money, but if you generate revenue from YT I can almost guarantee you'll net more in the end for using a nice, stand-out thumbnail! But at the very LEAST, take a pretty screenshot, which is fun to do anyways! -and use that instead of pumping out more ai garbage like a normal content creator!! Please!
Alright, go support artists. Sorry for so many words, thoughts?

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• Western Press
• Kholat
• 140
• MirrorMoon EP
• Contraption Maker
• Air Guardians
• Gentlemen!
• Gravity Badgers
• Ignite
• Tank Operations - European Campaign
• McGuffin Curse
• Age of Steel: Recharge
• Combat Wings: Battle of Britain
• Battlesloths 2025: The Great Pizza Wars

5$ * Earth Defense Force 4.1 The Shadow of New Despair + a ton of DLC * DLC list here
   
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0.80$ each one
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• 140
• 3079 – Block Action RPG FPS
• A Juggler's Tale
• Age of Steel: Recharge
• Air Guardians
• Akane the Kunoichi
• Axis Game Factory
• Battlesloths 2025: The Great Pizza Wars
• Blob From Space
• Clickr
• Combat Wings: Battle of Britain
• Conan Chop Chop
• Contraption Maker
• Dark Raid
• Dark Shadows - Army of Evil
• Death Track: Resurrection
• Demolition Master 3D
• Depths of Fear: Knossos
• Divekick
• Doc Clock: Toasted Sandwich of Time
• Dock Clock
• Dungeons: The Eye of Draconus
• dUpLicity ~Beyond the Lies~
• Dynamite Jack
• Endorlight
• Evan's Remains
• Faces of War
• Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
• Fun with Ragdolls
• Fury Unleashed
• Game Corp DX
• Gentlemen
• Girls Like Robots
• Gravity Badgers
• Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
• Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
• Heileen 1: Sail Away
• Humanity Asset
• Ignite
• Into the Void
• Kholat
• Kingdom Elemental
• Love Letter
• MacGuffin's Curse
• Mayhem Intergalactic
• Memories of a Vagabond
• Metrocide
• Millennium: A New Hope
• MirrorMoon EP
• N.P.P.D. RUSH - The milk of Ultraviolet
• Nether: Resurrected
• Nightsky
• Ocean City Racing
• Out of Reach
• Particulars
• Party of Sin
• POSTAL 2
• Praetorians
• Random Access Murder
• Recovery Search & Rescue Simulation
• Reflex
• Relicta
• Retimed
• Rover Mechanic Simulator
• SanctuaryRPG: Black Edition
• Shadows: Price for Our Sins Bonus Edition
• Shark Attack Deathmatch 2
• Shelter 2
• Shoppe Keep
• shutshimi
• Sid Meier’s Ace Patrol: Pacific Skies
• Size Matters
• SOL Exodus
• Space Trader: Merchant Marine
• Spirits
• Splendor
• STANDBY
• STCC II DLC for Race07
• Steam Bandits Outpost Explorer Equipment
• Still There
• Stonerid
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Super 3-D Noah's Ark
• Super Killer Hornet: Resurrection
• Sweezy Gunner
• Symphony
• Tank Operations - European Campaign
• The Great Jitters: Pudding Panic
• The Uncertain: Last Quiet Day
• The Wild Eight
• THOTH
• ThreadSpace: Hyperbol
• TIMEframe
• Total Pro Golf 3
• Uriels Chasm
• Valfaris
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest
• Western Press + Mk Cans II Character DLC
• Zombie Tycoon 2: Brainhov's Revenge
• Destroyer: The U-Boat Hunter
• Cities: Skylines DLC - K-pop Station
• Cities: Skylines DLC - Airports
• Cities: Skylines DLC- JADIA Radio
• Cities: Skylines DLC - African Vibes
• Encased: A Sci-Fi Post-Apocalyptic RPG

   
1.75$
OFFER Buy 3 games of this second list for 4$

• The Red Lantern
• OTXO
• Rebel Inc: Escalation
• Kraken Academy
• Black Skylands
• Small World + Spider Web + Cursed + Royal Bonus
• Terraformers EU
• Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3
• King Of The Castle
• Amanda the Adventurer
• Loddlenaut
• Steelrising

   

I (23F) have been dating 25M for 10 months now. I am so scared I am going to sabotage this relationship because of my insecurities. I am just comparing myself endlessly with his ex and his ex-FWB, and even random girls.
It’s almost like I want to make myself feel anxious and insecure. Information, pictures or texts that I've found through lurking (which I try to stop doing) hurts my feelings but have burned themselves into my head. For example,
the summer we started dating he was frequently liking his ex-FWB pictures on IG - some revealing, some not - last one he liked was from a couple of months back, a very revealing one where she had taken a picture from above, angle looking into her tanktop, her tongue was out, nipple piercings visable through her shirt, very suggestive. Him liking provocative pictures of a woman he used to have sex with makes me uncomfortable. He hasn't done it for months now, but I fear it could return around summer when she wears revealing outfits again.
I've also recently realized in a group chat with his friends he added me to, you can look back at messages before you were in the GC. That led me to look way back and see some things from months before we started dating, that still bothers me. Messages about his ex-FWB, how hot she is, how hot it is that she is a masochist (I'm not one), etc. I even saw pictures he had shared in the GC of many, many nudes she had sent him and pictures he took while they were having sex, in many different positions. It bothers me it looks to be using the same BDSM equipment he uses on me, the same positions he likes me in, etc. It makes me paranoid he's thinking about her when he's having sex with me. From the pictures it was apparent she is more sexually confident than I am, which makes sense given she has a much bigger sexual history than I do, he only just took my virginity, but still, it makes me scared he wishes I was more like her.
I also saw a message he sent in the GC 8 days after him and I had met: “I asked *ex-fwb* if she wanted to fuck just now, she's online she’s ignoring me lol”. This was 8 days after we met, 8 days after he sent a message to that same GC about how he met a cute girl and he thinks that she likes him (me). We weren't official, didn't become so until 5 days after he sent that ex-fwb message, but still, it kind of hurts he wishes to hook up with her once more even after we had met, we had had our first date at that point. Especially also because he has told me multiple times that having sex with her reassured him that sex just as a means to get off wasn't for him, and that it was the emotional intimacy that made it important to him, he said he didn’t even enjoy it, wasn’t even attracted to her body type, etc…. yet he wanted to do it again? I fear he lied to me.
There were also some messages from the past about his ex. He send various different texts various different occasions about how he loves how extremely outgoing and sociable she is and that they can have such intelligent discussions. I feel like him and I never discuss things back and forth. I also am very, very much the opposite of "sociable", I am very quiet and subdued, I like to observe more than anything and talking to strangers makes me nervous. He also send a comment about how his ex, at the time when they were dating, had "perfect big boobs", which makes me insecure since mine are much more on the smaller side.
I also get jealous of girls we see when we're out. He's told me he's attracted to pale skin, dark hair and blue eyes - which I have - but so does a lot of other attractive girls. Whenever we see one, I get anxious thoughts telling me he thinks she is more attractive than me and that he wishes he was her girlfriend instead, and that if I wasn't there he would go and flirt with her, etc. He's also said he gets very turned on by girls in chokers, and whenever we see one that has one I get so insecure and sad, thinking he is imagining having sex with her and wishing he could be with her instead of me. I get really down by these thoughts, he always notices and asks me multiple times if I am OK, gets worried, etc. I try to pretend I am OK but I am not.
Another side note, is how whenever I perform oral or him I try to make eye contact but he always likes keeping his eyes closed. That makes me feel unattractive, like he doesn't want to look at me, despite saying how much he loves my eyes. It makes me feel so insecure because I always imagine he's probably thinking about someone else, or some porn he has seen, instead of me.
This is me being insecure. I am aware of that, fully. I want to fix it. I am in queue for therapy, but with my country's’ psychiatric care being what it is, I can’t expect it to happen anytime soon. My friend waited for 2 years, and that is around the predicted time for anyone who isn’t willing to go the private route - which I don’t have money to do. So I’m doing my best with what I can do. It is absolutely exhausting, the way everything makes me second guess myself. I've considered breaking up multiple times, even though I love him and really can see myself having a family with him in the future, just because it is so draining and I feel much more insecure now than I ever did before we were dating.
The little insecurity that I do show, he will go on to reassure me a ton. Every time I give into my thoughts and ask him questions or express concerns he always is so loving, supportive and reassuring that he loves me for how I am, he's called me more attractive, trustworthy, more compatible, etc, that any girl he had a relationship with before, so it's not as if he is trying to make me insecure or anything. This is all in my head, but unfortunately being aware of that doesn't make it easier to get it out.
TL;DR: I'm struggling with insecurities in my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 months. I find myself comparing myself to his exes and feeling inadequate. I've discovered past messages about his ex-FWB and ex-girlfriend that exacerbate my anxiety, from before we were dating. In these messages he is calling her hot to his friends, seeing the GC nudes she sent him, graphic pictures from when they had sex, which makes me extremely insecure and worried that he prefers her, or is thinkig about her when we do stuff.
Also about his ex, about how he thinks she's so amazing for being sociable and outgoing and I am the completely opposite. I worry that he wishes I was more like her.. I feel jealous and uncomfortable with the fact that he has liked his ex-FWB provocative IG pics last summer and I worry he will start liking her pictures again this summer when she starts to wear less clothing again, despite them seemingly not having been in contact since she ghosted him. I'm aware of my insecurities and seeking therapy, but it's not readily available. My boyfriend is supportive, but I fear my insecurities may damage our relationship. How do I repair my insecurities?