As said in the title, I've finally finished going through all the boys in TDL S3! Though I didn't aim for best ending or anything, I just wanted to see how it would go for each one. (I'm not sure if the photos will post, so apologies if this post will be wonky!) I thoroughly enjoyed this experience, so here's a silly happy rant :) (Hope I flaired this correctly! This is just really me rambling, but very happily lol)
WARNING: Very long! Will also contain spoilers!!

• ROUND 1: Chayun (Normal ending)

This was the VERY first Picka game I've ever played, so I went into this blindingly and didn't really aim for anyone or followed any guides. So as fate had willed, I got Chayun! Maybe that's just my personality projecting onto Seul, lol. And maybe that very first meeting influenced my decisions - I wonder, if I had the date with Gonghyun first, would I shoot for him instead?
Chayun is... SO so cute. There's something really mature and cool about him, you know he can take care of you, and you can't help but be charmed. He's not overly affectionate, but also unafraid to show his feelings. He doesn't play any games (unlike SOME people out there...) and is mostly honest.
My favorite thing about him is how much of a simp he is for Seul. This is the guy whose forbidden word was her name because of how much he said it. This is the guy who unknowingly broke another girl's heart because he can't stop mentioning Seul. Ugh. How do I get a Chayun?
I also don't know why and how, but even when I was aiming for the other guys (and following the guides), he STILL keeps choosing Seul. I thought it was just programmed for him to do so, but I've seen posts where he chose Eunchae, so...? Maybe I just never got over my first love and unconsciously made him feel like Seul still likes him. Ha!
Speaking of first loves...

• ROUND 2: Gonghyun (Bad ending)

SIGH. I originally was going for Sanho next (more details later), but in the last round, I went on the snowball date (?) with Gonghyun and felt SO bad for making him feel like I didn't even consider him. Also, my first date this time was with Gonghyun and I was SOOOO impressed with the whole Busan thing. So I went for him.
Unfortunately, I 1) didn't have enough gold for all the gifts and 2) couldn't keep up with the timing, so I spent less time with him I guess? I missed the Wicka date with him as well as the cocktail bar. But I won every game and even went on a last date with him (which I didn't get to do with Chayun), so I thought, maybe I'll get the normal ending!
WRONG! Fellas, don't go for someone whose first love is still in the picture. Or, if you do, make sure you have enough gold to control everything. EME!
Gonghyun is really considerate and nice, he gives off major "gwapo" vibes, and he would have ticked all the boxes for "green flag of the year". But he also gives off the vibe of someone I could never fall for completely, like if someone asked me for boyfriend recommendations I would mention him, but if someone asked me if I had a crush on him I'd say no.
Or maybe I'm still bitter over not being chosen. Oh well! I don't choose what doesn't choose me, so.

• ROUND 3: Sanho (Normal ending)

I have never been more enamored over a fictional character.
When I first encountered him during Chayun's route, my eyes went all O_O and I was like, "OMG, ATEEZ Choi San what are you doing here?!". That's literally the same name except for the "ho"! He's polite and mature and RELIABLE! Brains and brawn! Cute and younger-brother-like!
And while he's reliable, I want to take care of HIM instead of the other way around. He's consistently sweet, and while he seems innocent, there's a certain depth to how he speaks that shows his introspection. He's honest and earnest, and I really loved how formal he was lol he's definitely my pick for most charming TDL3 man.
My favorite part? Ironically, it was when I was on Chayun's route. I got Sanho for the snowball date, and at that time I was unsure over Chayun because he felt really cold to me. Sanho contrasted that perfectly by being so sweet and warm. "Warm as the sun," indeed.
Another favorite moment was when he carried Gonghyun during their ski trip! I wished there was a way for Seul to join their trip, but I guess that's predetermined. Oh, maybe I didn't really want Gonghyun... I wanted to BE Gonghyun....
Sanho's route was so lovely that I lowkey dreaded (/lh) the next and final one...

• ROUND 4: Seowoo (Best ending) (WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT?!?!?!?)

Sigh. SIGH. The biggest, longest sigh you will ever hear on earth.
At this point, I was getting sick of TDL3, so I decided to try out TDL1. Considering that Jooyul (who I wasn't aiming for in the beginning but eventually liked) and Seowoo were same-age friends with the main character, I thought, "ah this will be more easy-going".
I was wrong. This was the most annoying, most insufferable, and spiciest route. Also I got the bad ending for Jooyul, so I guess easy-going routes just aren't for me.
Seowoo... Like Jeewan said, our cranky boy. He's so in love, but he doesn't want to admit it. Feel free to correct me, but he's always strikes me as someone who loves so deeply that it scares him, that's why he's always pushing Seul away. The weird thing is that the more he does it, the more I keep wanting to choose him? Because I am SURE he likes Seul, he just has to be convinced that Seul will keep choosing him until the end. (Which Sanho also was, but he was more straightforward about it.)
I was slightly enamored with the whole thing about Eunchae. Like, of COURSE they'd have such an agreement. Before this, I was really rooting for the two of them because the pairing was so weird. In local terms, there's the OA (Eunchae) and the nonchalant (Seowoo).
But I am on his route, so he's mine this time, and he WILL get sick of me!!!
My favorite part was, well, everything. At least, all the dates. He's so annoying and endearing that I have to spend a few minutes ranting into the chat after it's been deactivated. Can the creators see the messages I sent? I apologize for all the swear words. Nakakabwiset naman kasi talaga yang si Kim Seowoo parang tanga!! I would be swearing like this throughout and then he sends a heart and BOOM TIKLOP.
I wish his ending had him returning to Seul's house, like what Chayun did in their NORMAL ending. I get that he's shy about the song, but maybe Seul's final decision could have convinced him that Seul is safe enough for him to fall completely for? Well... I guess this is what fanfiction is for. Heh!

• Additional thoughts

It's a shame the paths are all for heterosexual pairings. I would have loved going for all the girls - Jeewan was so cool, Eunchae never failed to make me smile, and Bohwa was such a darling!! Though, do we think she has special connections to the admin of the program? Weirdly timed messages, the girls date at her shop? Or maybe she's just too charming to turn down~
Sanho and Seowoo would be a funny ship, lol. Seowoo being his usual cranky, pakipot self, and Sanho surprising him by being all firm and assertive.
Chayun and Gonghyun... Our knights and nobles... An unlikely pairing, but they're so similar that they might work??
Gonghyun is freaking hilarious. He keeps choosing Seul when I DON'T pick him. Baliw.
I think I was meant to find this game, because the characteristics of my ideal type were found in each of the love interests, so every route was fun. I started with someone who can only look at me, and ended with someone who wrote a song about me - two things that will surely make my heart flutter in real life. I only just realized these things while playing, so I guess it was an eye-opener too!
Now, I will be taking a break from all things TDL until I save up enough gold to open a slot to save Seowoo's ending. I am too lazy to do the extra tasks and too poor to actually buy it. In the meantime, I'm playing Friends Booth and thinking of which boy to target next in TDL1. I want to try for Euntae, but I am so sad about Jooyul's outcome that I want to redo his route, and this time with the guide (I tried following my instinct, as with Chayun). Sigh! Maybe I'll just go with Doha for the funsies.

I'm a SAHM of a 9 year old daughter and an almost 2 year old son.
Since birth, my son's favorite hobbies have been screaming like a fire alarm and violence. He didn't start speaking until he was 18 months old, and even then I wouldn't call it communication. He just counts. Yes it's amazing that he can count forward and backward 1 through 10, but that's all he does. He toddles around shouting "WUN! TOO! TREE! FUH! FAH!" etc. It's cute if it's not all you hear for 16 hours a day.
He's old enough to understand choice but unable to communicate his needs with words. I pretty much have to guess what he wants and if I get it wrong, which is frequent, I get my eardrums blasted and if I'm too close he will scratch and bite. My arms and face look like I just bathed an army of cats.
We have tried using sign language with some success. He used to use it before he started talking, but he suddenly started refusing.
We also had him evaluated for autism, but he doesn't meet the criteria. I think he just has intense emotions and reactions. I have BPD, (Borderline not bi polar) and I think my kids inherited my strong emotions. I have been working with a therapist since my daughter was a baby, for both her and I, to learn how to regulate our emotions. I know how to help my son, and I know we will get him to a stable place, but it is a slow and difficult journey. Just like it has been with my daughter.
I have no village. I'm NC with my mother, my dad lives far away, my MIL is a Facebook grandma, and FIL is dead. However Whenever I talk to my family and try to vent about how hard this is, all I hear back is "Treasure this time now, because you're gonna miss these days!"
I know. I know I'm gonna miss the fun cute moments. My daughter wasn't born a 9 year old, I know what it's like to look at her and remember what a little peanut she was. I also remember how awesome it was the first time she got her own snack and I didn't have to open it or cut it up for her. Or the first time we went to a restaurant and she looked the server in the eye and told them her order. Or how relieved I was when she started having a tantrum but then stopped and took a breath to regulate herself.
I can tell you with 100% certainty that I will not miss being attacked every time I have to change a diaper. I will not miss slicing grapes into eighths only to clean them up off the floor. I will not miss having my fingers chewed to hamburger while I try to scrape potting soil out of his mouth.
I love my kids. I wouldn't change any of it, but damn I can't wait to put it behind me.

when i was younger my family was happy, i guess. I was adopted by my grandparents officially when i was younger and i had been living with them my entire life. I grew up with sensory disorder and ADHD. My real mother wasn't really in my life until about 4 years ago. I never knew my real dad and i have never met him but i always knew my real mom. She used to live with me and my grandparents who i call 'mom and dad' because they took care of me most of my life. She always lived outside in an apartment my dad made for her. She then moved away. She moved a lot and never was really in my life completely. By the time I was adopted by my grandparents she was legally my sibling. She always was having boyfriends and brought some of them over for family holidays. I was bullied growing up since I was in first grade for no reason i knew about. All i knew was i was the school freak. When i was little i hardly ate much as well but i was still called 'fat'. Whenever i sung i was laughed at. I was actually good at singing and i loved to sing when I was little as well as dance. My legally sister (aka real mother) tells me now and days i was the bully growing up and i was sexual as a little kid when i wasn't. growing up i also had anger issues and nobody knew why. My mom (aka grandmother who adopted me) told me it because i was mad at my sister. my mental health started going downhill quickly when i was about starting middle the next year. i was getting bullied a lot more and my 'friend' was mean to me for no reason at all.i was at a christian private school at that time. I got blamed for put stick notes on other sticky notes in a prize container when i didn't. i was friends with everyone in that class. only one of them believed me. but when the others were told that i didnt do it they were acting sorry. one my best friend's at that time little brother had a crush on me. when i went to her house to hang out her brother was acting like a perve a little bit and was asking sexual stuff.i never liked school at all because the city and town i lived in didnt do crap when i was bullied and the principles were told. And around this time my sister came to live in the town i live right now.she gotten married. But she was toxic to everyone. Her husband's friends lived with them as roommates and my sister was abusive to them. when she was babysitting me during that time she would stab one of them in the arm with a medicine syringe you take medicine from.this kept going till that roommate left and then the next one was gone. my sister's husband had passed away when i was in middle school starting the first year of it. my sister was then toxic to me a lot. and since she was my real mom at one point i called her 'mom' all the time till she was toxic to me.she also always told me she couldnt have children. apparently, there was another before me and it was a miscarriage. i will mention this, my sister is known in my family to be a liar about everything from getting gifts for us, receiving it, not stealing, and most of the time children. About every 2 years she claims to be 'pregnant' with a kid but apparently, they all end up dying after they are born or are miscarriages. i was the only kid she had ever.and plus she always blamed me for stealing her stuff even her gun and hiding it under my bed at my mom's when i cant even put a phone under there cause the bed is really low to the ground. now onto my dad (my grandpa who adopted me with my grandma).me and my dad were really close when i was growing up.i was his little princess. That stopped happening after i came out as bisexual and genderfluid 4 years ago. And let me tell you my dad was born in the 50's so he grew up being raciest and homophobic. I was the only child he raised as his own. my sister was his stepdaughter and during that time her real dad never let my dad adopt her as his own.i kept telling my dad about things i liked that we loved together growing up. my dad was toxic to me in my middle school years up until now. He would verbally abuse me and threaten me. he even hit me before in front of my mom and she told the police that he never did. The police were called a lot cause of my anger and yelling. The police where i live never believe the kids about anything saying they dont have any rights like to clothes, a bed, sometimes to speak, to things they buy with their own money, and one even told me i didn't have a right to my own body.i was being bullied every more in school so i was getting depressed and mentally unstable. And my dad was always getting up in my face and i pushed him back sometimes to make sure he didn't hurt me and he just told me i 'assaulted' him and he was going to get me put in jail for defending myself as well a lot of the time. I had been to a mental hospital where i live 8 times. Some of them because i was mentally unstable, and 2 because i was forced for no reason. For my 3 or 5 time there my dad took me to the hospital to get 'diagnosed' but he lied.i had just gotten out of another mental hospital 2 days before for being depressed and i was there for 2 weeks so i needed to get adjusted to being out of there.and when we were at the hospital the doctor came in after talking to my dad and told me 'your being sent to *name of mental hospital i was at 8 times* for sewerslidal (not gonna say the actual word) thoughts'. and i was confused at first and i told him i was having those thoughts at all. and then he told me i was being sent there anyways and then left the room. Then my dad came in and said this directly at me, 'this is what happens when you dont go to school'. i was shocked and upset about this.he lied to the doctor and i was sent to that mental hospital again for it.i never forgave him for that.i was also sent to a behavior facility twice before. one for anger and the other for SH. neither times did it work.i was an SHing person a lot so i had different ways to hide it. like hoodies, long sleeve tee shirts finally, longer shorts, gloves, and short sleeved shirts that covered my shoulders. right now im in high school and i guess my dad is trying to rekindle our relationship because he is that old already. He is nicer now but about 2 months ago he was a jerk. my mom didnt listen to my feelings during these times so i never talked to her about feelings but when she wanted to and i tried to tell her she always interuppeted me and never let me talk and told me to shut up. my sister had moved in my dad's house recently because she bought it because he retired. my dad is planning on moving to my mom's place with me.and now here is an old relationship i need to talk about badly because my sister says i agreed to most of it when i didnt. it was my last year of middle school when it happened. i was already at a different school. I was still bullied but i could handled it a bit better there. my first boyfriend broke up with me 2 months after we got together and i was in 7th grade at that point when we broke up.i had just moved to that school about 2 months before we started dating.the reason he broke up with me was because 'he didnt feel love'.love is an emotion. you cant just not feel it right.i was touch starved and loved starved during that time so the summer after the broke up i was really mentally unstable and SH.i was taken to the mental hospital again. And when i came back to school after 2 months of being in the behavior facility for the second time so it was novemeber of my last year of middle school.about the end of November i was dating my guy best friend at that time.i didnt except what would happen after.he neglected me a lot when we saw each other at school during lunch even if we sat next to each other, was toxic and mad at me where i cried during that and wanted to feel pain, never stood up for me, never cared about how i felt or when i SH but pretended he did, and lastly he was obsessed with me during this time.threatening to hurt people. The first time i went to his house he got really touchy and then the second time he took that one thing a girl will never get back in her life no matter what.i was really desperate for love during that time but i didnt want to do that..he convinced me though. And then at school during lunch in the cafeteria while we were sitting with our friends at lunch he would touch me badly and threaten to do it more if i didnt eat or would do it anyway.i didnt eat much back then cause i was trying to lose weight, was having an eating disorder where i got sick every time i even at at least 2/4 of my meal. I didnt tell anyone this until last summer.i was still with him at the beginning of summer till my current boyfriend started talking to me on roblox after years of not talking because he moved while i was in 4th grade.he was a good friend. my current boyfriend told me what my ex was doing wrong at that time so i did the right thing and broke up with my ex.but my ex did scare me badly. He threatened to kill someone for me. i was terrified at that. He also had a spilt personality he would talk to me with a lot of the time. Then after a month of me breaking up with him my current boyfriend and me got together. He was a little toxic at first but he got better and was really nice to me. but we are in a long distance relationship. We talk a lot on discord and do video calls when we can.i was at 2 different public school this year.neither of them cared about what was happening to me so i started online school.i didnt go to either of them cause i was still bullied i couldnt handle it.and then when i started online school the teachers for that school accused me of not doing my work when i did them days in advance.i was doing really good but if i got most of the questions right on the quiz i still failed it.i would get 90% out of the question right and still get an f on the quiz.i started failing those classes and i was stressed with the video meetings cause there would be one right after another.i didnt get to pick my electives at all because the day i got the papers to see which ones i wanted they already picked them for me.and my dad was being a jerk the entire time as well as my sister so i was getting to a point of relaspe but didnt. im still kinda on that point but not that much.i dont go to therapy or a medication doctor anymore because the medication doctor kept telling me to lose weight when i was trying to, told my parents to send me to a children's home because i was not going to school because of the bullying and my regular doctor i had been seeing since i was a baby said the same because i was 'fakeing' being sick.i wasnt sick though but i was having an eating disorder still during that time to the point i was throwing up everything in my body every time i ate more than 6 bites of food.even the foods that were easy to eat i couldnt eat.and the reason i dont go to therapy is because all the ones i went to as a kid fired us for no reason and then a family counselor did the same thing because i was being rude.i was rude at all but i was pissed during that time cause i never got to talk and tell my side of the story and my family kept saying that raising my voice volume just a small bit was yelling and they still say that and my sister does the same with the voice volume but they dont say she is yelling when she is.if you guys have any of advice to help with any of this thank you.i have been wanting to vent for a long time but i didnt have a way to until now.

I'm just fucking tired at this point. I'm tired of being forced to be happy for everyone else and everyone else's accomplishments shoved down my throat. I'm always the fucking background character forced to cheer everyone on and I'm sick of it. How the fuck am I supposed to be happy for everyone else when nothing is going my way. I'm fucking sick of being told "relationships aren't all that" "the grass isn't always greener" "relationships are hard it's easier to be alone" by ungrateful ass bitches who have boyfriends who treat them like queens and don't fucking appreciate them, some of them even starting shit just to start shit. If I was in a relationship and my boyfriend told people our relationship was "work" and "not all that" I would be fucking offended. That shit is so ungrateful and disrespectful idc. AITA, Relationship advice, all the subs a lot of it is ungrateful gfs who complain for the sake of complaining and instigate shit and the users simp and take their side simply because they're women and all men bad. Of course a lot of men are bad and in the wrong, but sometimes in those posts the women instigate. I'm sick of being told to "just love myself" and "focus on what I can control". Everyone around me is in a relationship and I'm sick of it. I can't go 5 minutes at work without hearing "I WANNA SHOW YOU OFF, I WANNA BRAG ABOUT IT" ughhh no shade I love me some Doja, but listening to her music is making me so depressed. Almost all of it is about sex and relationships so I can't relate and it reminds me of what life won't let me have. Same thing with Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, etc. I can't watch shows like Euphoria, Never Have I Ever, Haertbreak High, etc. shows about teens having sex and losing their virginity in high school because it reminds me of what I never had. It's a completely different world to me. A parallel universe.
I fucking hate my life. There's no way for me to be positive while everything in my life is going negative. I have a roof over my head and water, but I still don't have a boyfriend. Honestly, life is overrated and boring. Sometimes I just wanna d¡e. If you're not pretty, have no friends, single, life sucks. I need another drink, and another joint.

the illusion of choice (vent)
context: i stuck in a rude ignorant town in vietnam with absolutely no one i can relate to. I haven't met another asexual person ever in my life, my autism has made me more closed off over the years after spending 3 years in the shittiest highschool in town and meet the worst most cruel kids all around. anyways, the gist is that im rotating around interest in having relationships and my libido spiked up and it's so shameful and scary and strange, here's some stuff i wrote
Its like, I never claim to be aromantic. So why am I feeling this eternal shame for wanting to try out not relationships, not the heterosexual dynamic? Just something a bit more than platonic maybe it's because I don't have a plan for committing? or maybe because I don't trust relationships in general, and they often spiral downhill based on the "adult role models" around me, making me feel weird. I was crippled and stolen of those abilities to navigate relationships and friendships. Growing up in a semireligious family with bitter grandparents who hated my mother for marrying so early, I was raised "pure" and was fear mongered to death with anything related to my sexuality and attraction. I am autistic and have no one to validate and help me stand up for myself. So am I really so repulsed by relationships, or is it because I am distrustful of people in general and was fed with fear and the taboo silence rather than a sit down and explainations? I've been browsing the asexual subreddit. It's not common for people to claim they were raised to become intentionally sexually repressed by their helicopter parents. Sometimes asexuality isn't inherent but just what you're used to and comfortable with, and there's nothing wrong with that. I just recently got a taste of a crush, and that feeling rushed back. I know I'm fine with being married to better things than holding a chick in my arms, giving her pet names, and doing a couple things in rotation until she left me because we're young and poor. It's so counterproductive, especially if I have other concerns. But still, it got me thinking, "Maybe try." There's a reason kids who are high school sweethearts mostly have a fine support network, are hetero, and have parents with stable income, for them to approve such bullshit, poor family just fear mongering their kids about how one wrong step could ruin their future. and it's not wrong. heterosexuality in vietnam is often misogynistic and lead to shitty results, every relationship is too early in the parents eyes if the kid turned out poor or abused. What I'm saying is that ive never given a choice or a chance to even see it for myself without the fear of intimacy built from my family who can't recognise that they have to teach their son instead of telling their daughters to be careful. I guess it started because I was kind of teased in school for obvious reasons: no """"man"""" would look at me. even though obviously lesbian. But we all know those teen boys are tools; I could easily bag one on Facebook just by texting essentially about nothing. Girls hold them on a pedestal because of heterosexual relationships. Most of my classmates have ugly ass boyfriends that make them starve and actually hit them; the other half have online boyfriends. There's always problems relating to power structures. Some classmates made fun of me last year by saying that I have pretty hands but have never properly held anyone's, or that they've found my "secret boyfriend" and how they laugh to themselves about how absurd it is. And obviously, thats laughable, and I pay no mind to the teenage peer pressure and insecurity speaking on their part, but still, I guess seeing girls heads over heels over girls does make me curious about the truth in a kind of addiction produced in finding your other half, just a smidge of curiosity. Maybe I am overcompensating at this time because of depression. The problem is that I would like to bag a chick, but I have no incentive to do so. I was immune to heterosexuality propaganda growing up; I was exposed to progressive beliefs, so I poked holes easily in gender roles, problematic red flags, etc., and my standard rose. Plus, being gay and lonely in my sexuality makes it hard to make friends with girls, and I can't relate to anyone around me because the gays in this city don't organize. Why should I pursue a relationship with a hormonally ignorant pos at this school?

context: i stuck in a rude ignorant town in vietnam with absolutely no one i can relate to. I haven't met another asexual person ever in my life, my autism has made me more closed off over the years after spending 3 years in the shittiest highschool in town and meet the worst most cruel kids all around. anyways, the gist is that im rotating around interest in having relationships and my libido spiked up and it's so shameful and scary and strange, here's some stuff i wrote
Its like, I never claim to be aromantic. So why am I feeling this eternal shame for wanting to try out not relationships, not the heterosexual dynamic? Just something a bit more than platonic maybe it's because I don't have a plan for committing? or maybe because I don't trust relationships in general, and they often spiral downhill based on the "adult role models" around me, making me feel weird. I was crippled and stolen of those abilities to navigate relationships and friendships. Growing up in a semireligious family with bitter grandparents who hated my mother for marrying so early, I was raised "pure" and was fear mongered to death with anything related to my sexuality and attraction. I am autistic and have no one to validate and help me stand up for myself. So am I really so repulsed by relationships, or is it because I am distrustful of people in general and was fed with fear and the taboo silence rather than a sit down and explainations? I've been browsing the asexual subreddit. It's not common for people to claim they were raised to become intentionally sexually repressed by their helicopter parents. Sometimes asexuality isn't inherent but just what you're used to and comfortable with, and there's nothing wrong with that. I just recently got a taste of a crush, and that feeling rushed back. I know I'm fine with being married to better things than holding a chick in my arms, giving her pet names, and doing a couple things in rotation until she left me because we're young and poor. It's so counterproductive, especially if I have other concerns. But still, it got me thinking, "Maybe try." There's a reason kids who are high school sweethearts mostly have a fine support network, are hetero, and have parents with stable income, for them to approve such bullshit, poor family just fear mongering their kids about how one wrong step could ruin their future. and it's not wrong. heterosexuality in vietnam is often misogynistic and lead to shitty results, every relationship is too early in the parents eyes if the kid turned out poor or abused. What I'm saying is that ive never given a choice or a chance to even see it for myself without the fear of intimacy built from my family who can't recognise that they have to teach their son instead of telling their daughters to be careful. I guess it started because I was kind of teased in school for obvious reasons: no """"man"""" would look at me. even though obviously lesbian. But we all know those teen boys are tools; I could easily bag one on Facebook just by texting essentially about nothing. Girls hold them on a pedestal because of heterosexual relationships. Most of my classmates have ugly ass boyfriends that make them starve and actually hit them; the other half have online boyfriends. There's always problems relating to power structures. Some classmates made fun of me last year by saying that I have pretty hands but have never properly held anyone's, or that they've found my "secret boyfriend" and how they laugh to themselves about how absurd it is. And obviously, thats laughable, and I pay no mind to the teenage peer pressure and insecurity speaking on their part, but still, I guess seeing girls heads over heels over girls does make me curious about the truth in a kind of addiction produced in finding your other half, just a smidge of curiosity. Maybe I am overcompensating at this time because of depression. The problem is that I would like to bag a chick, but I have no incentive to do so. I was immune to heterosexuality propaganda growing up; I was exposed to progressive beliefs, so I poked holes easily in gender roles, problematic red flags, etc., and my standard rose. Plus, being gay and lonely in my sexuality makes it hard to make friends with girls, and I can't relate to anyone around me because the gays in this city don't organize. Why should I pursue a relationship with a hormonally ignorant pos at this school?

So basically, I had a childhood friend texting me out of nowhere and calling me a sht person, telling me I should go f** myself. I truly don't understand what triggered her or what she is going through. A lot of our classmates and friends back then stopped being friends with her and called her crazy, a bad person, self-obsessed, etc. She burned bridges with most of them, made a lot of mistakes, and used to act as the victim, claiming she "forgives them" now. But it was high school, and we were kids; you tend to move on from these things with time, especially when you're 31. It was ironic to me, but I kept her as a friend throughout the years, connecting once or twice a year. We were friends for almost 21 years, since 2003.
Now, to the "juicy stuff." Back in 2004, we were around 10/11 years old. She used to date a lot of guys in school, and it was already known that Karen fooled around. She was relatively good looking, "hot" by high school standards, and everyone had a crush on her. Back then I was a stupid, shy, introverted overweight kid, and was good friends with her. One time, I was out with the guys, and a couple of them started talking about her and how she is a bitch. I said that I know her really well and the that she is actually a slut. I can't remember why, but I think I thought I was being cool just like the other guys. It was a stupid mistake from an 11-year-old kid. Word got out that I said those things about her; she confronted me about it, and I apologized, saying that I didn't mean it. We stopped being friends.
Fast forward 10 years pass by after that incident, and now it's 2013. We were 20/21 years old. I went to Canada to visit my best friend, and she was also living in that same city. We all went out to grab a bite and reminisced about the old days. We also talked about that specific incident, and I apologized from the bottom of my heart. We said that it was 10 years ago, we were kids, and we moved on and even became closer than ever. After that, everything was great, and we talked about our dating lives. I was telling her about my struggling with dating girls and that I get nervous and insecure (which is completely normal for a 20-year-old boy). She used to call me in the middle of the night crying about what her boyfriends used to do to her, and I was there for her. Keep in mind that I wasn't attracted to her at that point, and I didn't consider myself "friend zoned" because she wasn't my type of girl – the depressed and drama all the time type of girl. So, I was just being a good friend and being there for her when she needed me, and vice versa. I texted her and asked her what to do with girls when I needed an opinion.
Fast forward another 9 years pass by. During those years, I heard from another friend that one of our female friends at high school is getting married and Karen called the husband and told him not to marry that girl because she was a slut and she won't be a good wife for him. I was shocked but didn't do anything about it because it wasn't my concern. Throughout those years, she would come to town every 2/3 years. I would go out and see her and catch up. We drifted apart, which is normal for any two friends that live in different countries/time zones, but nothing major happened. We rarely texted and weren't that close anymore.
In 2023, we were 30 years old. She comes to town, and I was about to get married. She texts me and tells me she's in town and would love to see me and meet my fiancée. I told her it would be my pleasure, and we went out for coffee, and she met her. It went fine; she was a bit awkward and seemed miserable and definitely not as good looking as before. Keep in mind that my wife is a physician, and I work at a big 4 accounting firm. She does fitness training and volunteers at a government facility for the veterans, still single, or was seeing someone on and off. I honestly don't think that she got jealous, but I told my fiancée back then that she's a bit weird, and a lot of my friends call her "crazy" till this day.
Now, a year later, last night, she texts me out of nowhere, telling me "you are a sht person," and that she is just speaking her mind. I told her, "excuse me? Where is this coming from?" She said that she just felt like saying it and that she isn't hacked or drunk and completely aware of what she's doing. I told her honestly if you truly feel like that I don't care or don't want to know why since I didn't do anything wrong to her and told her I don't know what she's going on with her and that I wish her the all best in life and truly hope that she's doing fine. She started bringing up that I called her a bitch 20 years ago! And I should go f** myself!! And that after all that she's done to me and standing up to me when some girls made fun of me being overweight and that I was a shy kid and didn't know how to get girls, and that I used her all these years and only connected with her when I wanted or needed anything from her. And she tells me it's karma and to go f*** myself again. I was shocked and told her I'm not going to waste my energy on something in the past, and she shouldn't either, and told her that it was a mistake, and that we talked about it years ago and we moved on, and that we are now grown ups and I'm sure she should know something or two about making mistakes in her past. She said “Oh do I??” And started texting me paragraphs; I didn't read them and told her "wish you all the best in your life, bye" and completely blocked her.
This is high school bs that people move on from, and clearly, she's still hung up on the past and still struggling with all the things that happened to her, not just with my incidents in particular but with everyone from her past. She is clearly ill and going through stuff in her life. And I'm not getting myself into drama and negative energy in this stage of my life. Maybe because she is seeing people from school starting to settle in, having successful lives, and marrying good partners, on the other hand she is still struggling with her life and relationships, and not doing good overall in her life. I told my wife about what happened and told her to be careful if she contacts her and to block her. I'm truly speechless and shocked, but I think I did the right thing because it looks like it's true what everyone was saying about her, that she's a pain in the butt and crazy and negative. I should've cut her off years ago. Even though I was truly sorry to say these things about her, but I was a kid! And wanted to be there for her whenever she needed me. That's crazy!

I know its late guyzz but I needed to finish the series and give u my review. Don't hate me for being this late .

 Main leads : 5/10 no hate to them but sometimes I felt like their acting is acting. Sometimes they acted really well but sometimes it just didn't work for me . Maybe because of the directions or something it felt little off Second leads : 8/10 i like especially pwarang . She is my fav in this gl ... how she made angry faces, cute faces , when she was angry on the main lead everything was top notch. I liked her , I want to see her in another gl with the main lead soon . Don't know how many years I need to wait. But yaa her character was matured, understanding, introvert, tall , handsome everything. And the little junior was also cute . Whenever I saw them in the screen I felt like " yes now some pleasure moment for me " ... Whenever warang came to the screen she gave some mature lines which is nice then the main leads who had lack of communication skills. Supportive leads: 6/10 the glasses one who was the friend I liked her as well . Other than her everyone needs to improve their skills . Male actors were pretty nice but still Storytelling: 5/10 wtf !!! Pretty lame ... it's no doubt a good story but too stressful sometimes. How everyone is so into male leads . Everyone wants them to become their gfs ... just too much ... they didn't let me forget the series. " SHOW ME LOVE " how they messed with those characters, Storytelling etc ... they know how to ruin a good show ... it felt like a normal yt show made by normal people... bruhh it's a big show make it I catching and tempting ... but naahh the directors were sleeping maybe Theme : 4/10 ... My question is where are the teachers!??? It's based on university or school maybe ... so where's the teachers? There was not a single teacher in the university dudee ... and the seniors acted like teachers, done everything by themselves etc . No classes at all . And also rarely saw their parents. Even when warang got a accident as well . Also how the main lead forgot all her memory after accident, then the male proposed her , he acted like a boyfriend all were too much for me . Cinemagraphy : 3/10 ... they need to learn from BLANK or maybe from SECRET OF US (trailer was pretty eye catchy) both series has had impressive angles , cinemagraphy and fabulous actress. Atleast BLANK . The show felt like a cheap yt video by normal makers Second leads time: 2/10 ... I am asking where is my fav couples time !? They are Second leads u should respect them as well and give them more time . I rarely see them together! 

!? Maybe they had like 23min in the whole series . The story only revolves around the main lead being dumb , crying...
And why literally why everyone were into main leads !!? It doesn't make sense at all . And why I felt like their relationship was kinda toxic !!!

Conclusion: I don't hate any gl series or gl related stuffs so I don't hate it either. It's just I don't like it . Plzz tell me 23.5 is better then this because I have high hope for the series and will watch it after it finishes its 12 parts . I want second leads to have thier own series . Plzz don't hate me for giving little numbers . 🥹 

I think it’s fair to say none of us chose this and it’s pretty dark 90% of the time, especially in relatively early stages. I’m 8 months in, have tried on every symptom for size, doing EMDR once a week. It’s a roller coaster and can be difficult to not see it all as an exhausting chore.
HOWEVER, I’ve noticed my mind sometimes laugh about some of the experiences.
Had EMDR yesterday, set me off into emotional symptoms (will cry over anything). Took clonazepam so I don’t fully overload on it all. This morning took half just to make sure I’m “emptying the glass” as my doctor calls it.
As the clonazepam was kicking in I found myself getting ready for work, doing my hair, dancing to 80s music just vibing because it feels a bit like being on a soft cloud. And I just thought “look at you, little crackhead having the time of your life just to stay afloat” 😭😂
Other times when I take my medications I’ll be walking the dog, barely feeling my legs, just looking around, brain moving at 0.05mph thinking “awww isn’t that bee cute” 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 and then I’ll reflect on it and go huh that must be how the stereotypical Xanax & wine housewives must be vibing every day.
My logic is sometimes you have to laugh about it because otherwise it’s a bleak movie.
Tell me what you’ve turned into a joke in your journey! ☺️

This is a WALL of text. Read it or ignore it if you'd like to. I like putting opinions out there, and listening to what others have to say.
“Arsenal watching city going 1 up after hate watching”
I feel like I've never seen more fans hate watching while 0 Arsenal supporters do so.Spurs fans consistently hate watching when we got into the champions league.
Arsenal, when they were down to Luton, had so many hate-watchers. So many shitty fans calling us hate watchers, then watching every single city and arsenal game to try and clown us.
But I’ve never really seen Arsenal fans as hate watchers… There may be a couple of examples I haven’t seen, but from what I've seen our “Hate watching” has come down to seeing how interesting games can be. When City goes up 1, I try to keep watching (from NZ, so time zones are a bitch) because I like football and I’m interested. I got to 3-0 city vs Fulham before I fell asleep.
Just funny going onto twitter and reading chelsea fans saying ”CITTTEHHHHHH” n such. A bit of a guilty pleasure is reading idiotic posts on twitter.
The Social Media Fans
Social media fans are rampant and are now seen as “The fans of the club” which is insane, because 90% of them have never been to England, let alone a game. And will look at a scoreline/highlights to determine what they think, And look at a team’s name to determine what the result should be.
Trust, I’ve watched full games back from time to time, and goddamn the picture is soooooooo different, from watching highlights, or reading a timeline.
Not sure about certain supporters who live within England, and It may be “banter” but it gets tiring hearing “We all hate Arsenal fans” when you actively have so many more Chelsea, and United fans screaming in your ears about every little thing, while supporting their rivals…
I hate the “pray for (insert team)” but the more of a meme it becomes the better, it’s just sad that they come with some of the most delusional takes ever, from people who don’t pay attention to how other teams are performing. And that they’re not just “food” for us to eat, it’s a competitive league for a reason.
Supporting the Dominant Team
I also find it insane that such a large group of people would rather see a team, with 115+ charges (who have been constantly avoiding them), while also spending billions to win the league for the 6th time in 7 years, over a team which is having a rise to glory. Just because “It’s arsenal”. While if you look back a couple months, everyone is complaining about city.
Also when did the fact where everyone hates the dominant team, and wants to see others rising not become a thing? F1 had it with Hamilton, now verstappen. NZ rugby has it with the crusaders (absolute cunts btw), and it happened with Golden State in the NBA, and now the nuggets.
Clubs who talk about history to prove they’re better now
It’s so common I see fans talk about trophies as if they mean “We’re the best team in the world”, Chelsea fans are great at this, bringing back a champions league where they only have 3 of those players, and a completely different management and ownership.
I just hope that this is banter, and not actual delulu. Hard for me to tell, or even certain teams talking about european trophies (cough cough west ham *cough cough*), where it is amazing they got it, but bring a top 4 / 5 team, who wants to win that competition, and they’ll win it almost every time.
What defines big clubs to me is, how good is your club now, and how many fans around the world do you have. Man United has the fans, but the team quality due to injuries wouldn’t help them to be the “biggest club”. The reason Barcelona vs Real was so big was because they were the best in the world, with the best players, and the most fans. Barcelona are a smaller club now (still huge), because the names aren’t as big, and they aren’t as competitive as they used to be. But still will have a ton of fans.
Teams Succeeding???
For me, I don’t like spurs, the mentality, the supporters, the scummy tactics. But I do want to see the team succeed in the competition (I Also like Ange and his story). I’m happy Aston Villa is doing well, I’m happy Liverpool had a bounce back season, and I'm happy Newcastle have started to find their footing.
And this is because you want a competitive league. We DON’T want a Bayern situation. Everyone always wanted Dortmund to win it, or at least another team, and look at the celebrations now that Leverkusen has done it. Bundesliga got 5 champions league spots, not only because of what happened in the Champion league, but you have Bayern, Dortmund, Leverkusen, Stuttgart, Frankfurt, RB Leipzig all becoming more and more competitive. (Even though the disparity between 1-8 and 9-18 is big) it’s a step in a good direction.
Winning the League?
I’ve supported Arsenal since I was 7, because playing Fifa 12 with my older brothers, I thought the cannon was cool. I’ve been on and off for a while, but Arteta brought me back (And my degen phase of 4 hours of sleep has kicked in)
These years have taught me to never expect our team to win anything, till the final whistle of the final game. Very fucking sad, but it’s true. I will celebrate every win, Look back at every loss, watch every minute I can despite being sleep deprived, and love every moment, because I fucking love this club. I don’t care if we win the Premier league this season or not, I have no hope, but that could be my bleak outlook. But it was the same last season. I wait for the final whistle of the final game, then having the trophy or not, might give me a little more happiness.
But by far the most important thing for a depressed, mentally ill, sleep deprived, University student. Is when I see posts about the players, the club, the staff and the fans. And it makes me smile. As simple as seeing Gabriel and Saliba partnership being praised and them being “future” of Arsenal, makes me smile now, and gives me the moments of happiness which sadly, fade quickly. But they’re there.
Lastly PLEASE for the love of this club, never stop talking about the small cute things our players do, the celebrities involved, the nicknames we give our players, the new chants created. That character is what makes this club fucking beautiful.

Perhaps accidentally, the party managed to wrap up a couple of major quests on floor 2 this session. In addition to a very cute dog in attendance irl, we had:
-Freyja, Half Elf Paladin of Mielekee, a gothic woman seeking vengeance on her’s father’s killer.
-Nazar, Goliath Paladin of Tyr, an upright man in exceptional armour, seeking a holy relic.
-Felicity, Aaracockra Bard, a cunning and curious birdfolk with dark musical tastes.
-Archimedes, Gnome Artificer in his owl themed armor, seeking to make magical items.
-Goba, Dwarf-Duergar Fighter-Barbarian, a noble bounty hunter on someone’s trail.
They also have Nanaz, Goba’s manservant, and the vengeful revenant Halleth, as companions.
MIDNA’S SHADOWS
The session began with battle against Halleth’s final murderer, Midna, Cleric of Shar. Her plush chamber was plunged into darkness that especially obscured things to Nazar- except, oddly, the Shrine of Shar which remained unnaturally visible in the black.
Ten shades were conjured alongside two shadow mastiffs to bog down the party, while Midna shot their one light source- a little clockwork flash-walker Archimedes had made. Nazar held the line, barely buffeted by the shades, while Freyja and Archimedes stabbed and zapped her black hounds. Halleth used his new ability, with a cry of “onwards, for Vengeance!” to let him and Goba rush forwards without opportunity attacks to corner her.
Quickly, the shades and hounds fell, and Nazar, able to see only one thing, threw a rock at the shrine of Shar and charged over. This immediately elevated him as Midna’s main target, and she tried to hack at him with a cursed sickle, only for Goba to run her through. Midna died surprisingly peacefully, muttering that it didn’t matter.
In the aftermath, as the light returned, Nazar pulled out his warhammer and set about demolishing the statue of the dark goddess. He felt a brief call, an offer that he could gain the power to see through the darkness like his allies, but he turned it down and smashed the shrine apart. Earning a Curse of Shar.
Curse of Shar- Plagued by the dark goddesses wrath, you are weakened as your memories fade. While cursed you have disadvantage on Saving Throws against Magic, and lose proficiency in one random skill. Each long rest, make a DC 18 Wisdom Saving Throw. On a failure, you lose proficiency in another random skill.
Nazar lost memories of conversations had around campfires, losing a portion of his charm and the Persuasion skill first.
CALL OF VENGEANCE
While others were looted the room for gold, suspecting the feast of poison, and finding nice clothes, Halleth remained animated, stabbing Midna again and again. When Archimedes intervened and removed her holy symbols- offering the undead cleric the symbol of Waukeen, he looked at it with barely any emotion on his bleeding face.
“She never opened her gates to me. Why would that change now?” Halleth growled, “There are more debts to collect. More wrongs to right. So much evil to punish. Can’t you hear the call of vengeance?”
They couldn’t but Halleth grumbled that something- an angel- had reached out to him when he last lay dead, promising to slay the evils of undermountain. And somehow, with this being’s power, the revenant doesn’t die yet. Instead, the party watched uncertainly as he tried to leave, collapsed as his body fell apart, and his soul seemed to sink down into the stonework.
They have completed his quest for vengeance, but something calls him to linger on in the dungeon. Archimedes pocketed the two holy symbols of Waukeen and Shar, and after desecrating the rest of this room, they left.
SPIDER EYES WATCHPOST
Or more like Snake Eyes Watchpost.
With the party still in good shape, they decided to go tick off another notch of a quest, and returned to the northernmost Xanathar Watchpost to take it down. This was a tricky fight, against a dozen bugbears, a handful of human mobsters, a mutant drow, and a corridor full of traps.
Well, it was tricky in theory.
Only Goba and Nazar actually had to face the trapped pressure plates littering the corridor, and their toughness and armour turned aside every dart. Felicity flew over them, Archimedes spider-climbed to run along the ceiling, and Freyja pulled out her bow and sniped from the corridor’s end.
Against terrifying blades and thunderous magic, most of the bugbear runts fell like bowling pins. Shun, the spider-faced drow, commanded his men to try and shoot down the “turkey”, littering Felicity with far more feathers than she was meant to have, and tried to bring down Goba and Nazar with poisoned bolts. He failed. He panicked, and he retreated behind a screen of mobsters and bugbears.
Said goons immediately almost died to Archimedes’ shatter, then were put to Sleep by Felicity, allowing the frontliners to run over them and hack the cowardly drow apart. The rest died quickly in the aftermath, with only a brief tussle where a brawler yanked Felicity out of the air, slammed her onto a pressure plate, and got his mate shot and killed by the dart trap.
Another Outpost clear! Two outta three!
In the chambers beyond, they found a mountainous larder of rations, enough to sustain the party for a hundred days if only they could carry it all. Which they can, using the portable hole. Rex’s body was discarded.
The outpost had a rough map of the floor, some other chests for which they found keys. In one, a crimson eyeball abruptly lurched out, floating into the air with a sinuous tentacle hanging it from it like a malevolent ocular jellyfish.
“SHUN, WHAT’S THE STATU- OH, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, BOY?”
It’s telepathic voice blared into their skulls, taking in the scene before demanding the Xanathar password- how many eyes does the Xanathar have?
Apparently nine was not the correct answer, and so the eye blasted Nazar with a burst laser blast. Felicity was quick to flit into the air and stab it with a psychic blade, hearing one final thought blare into her mind as it died.
“BRING IT ON, FOOL, I KNOW YOUR FACES, AND MY EYES ARE ALWAYS OPEN.”
Xanathar has seen them.

It candidly sucked being surrounded by constant reminders that you’d lost the genetic lottery. Sure, it was easier than some people thought to get around the world without powers; it wasn’t like the government expected everyone to be a speedster or to be able to fly. Hell, a hundred years ago, nobody even had powers. The infrastructure was there. Life went on.
That said, staying cheery about the hand I’d been dealt was difficult. Enhanced perception was useful for a lot of things, from party tricks to always reading the fine print, but next to flight? Next to teleportation?
I’d gotten hung up on movement powers because I’d taken the bus to the bar, and the only superpower buses had was being late.
I was specifically at the bar for the sake of a blind date set up by my best friend; Todd was about two times my size and could throw a car across the street. His powers did nothing to help me with his current obsession with my dating life, but here we were. I supposed it was a fair obsession. I hadn’t been trying.
It honestly made sense that Todd had been keenly aware of romance since he’d met his soul mate. See, a strange thing with powers was that when you were around your soulmate, they were inexplicably stronger. Todd had met Soo-jung when she’d been on vacation in Crescent three years ago. They’d been inseparable since, and he’d been able to throw a car down three blocks instead of across the street.
Or so he claimed. Nobody was eager to volunteer their car for a demonstration, or anything else heavy and expensive, for that matter.
For my part, I hadn’t spent a lot of time guessing what would happen if I met my soulmate. It was a common train of thought for some, but I never found that it stopped at any fun stations. Instead, I indulged Todd’s meddling because he was my friend and bad dates at least made good stories.
“Gimme a sec, I’ll grab us another round,” Todd announced as he pushed out from our table. “Emma said she’s going to be here soon.”
“You bought the last one.”
“Yeah, now you can buy two in a row once Emma gets here and look generous. Think about it, man.”
“Sure,” I answered, but Todd was already walking away from the table and toward the bar.
Soo-jung leaned in. “You know he’s trying, right?”
“I know, maybe a little too much.”
“You don’t hear the half of it.”
“Oh, good.”
“I had to tell him to calm down when it came to buttering you up to Emma,” Soo-jung explained as she took a sip from her drink. “Sometimes I wonder about him.”
“I’m surprised he says anything nice about me.”
“He’d never say it to your face.” She watched Todd at the bar instead of looking at me during our conversation.
“Does that mean you’ll do it for him?”
“He trusts me to keep his secrets.”
“How about I suggest things and read your reaction?” I asked.
Soo-jung frowned in response before she pointedly rolled her eyes. She knew that reading reactions was one of my party tricks. If you couldn’t be powerful, you could at least read a room.
“Okay, fine. What do you know about Emma?”
“Her last name’s Tavish.”
“That’s it?”
“She works with Todd.”
“I knew that. He kept telling me she was a co-worker.”
“Todd thinks she’s cute.”
“He told you that?”
“No, but he has high standards for you.”
“That’s all the detail you have?”
“Todd’s not allowed to talk about work at hom- Hey, honey.”
Todd was back at the table holding all three pints in one arm; he passed one to each of us despite Soo being less than halfway finished with her current drink. Once he’d finished distributing, he turned to Soo-jung and asked her a question in broken Korean.
He’d been trying to learn, and he was still struggling. Not that I knew the language.
“Yes,” Soo-jung responded in English, “we were talking about Emma; no Korean around Toby. It’s rude.”
“I thought you wanted me to practice?”
“You can practice at home.”
“So we were talking about Emma,” Todd jumped back to the previous topic instead of discussing his inconsistent study of Korean. “Awesome woman, perfect for you, man.”
“What makes you say that?” I asked.
“Oh, she sucks too.”
“Ah, thanks.”
“He means powers-wise,” Soo-jung stepped in.
“So you do know something about her,” I pointed out.
“Something? I’ve been telling Soo everything since we got in the car to come here.” Just as Todd finished, he flinched. Soo had kicked him under the table. “But it wasn’t much, really.”
“What do I get to know?”
“I don’t want to taint your expectations.” He pushed his empty glass away, swapping it with the new one. “But can I be serious for a second?”
I considered it. “Sure.”
“She’s like my boss’, boss’ boss. So best behavior.”
“Wait. Seriously?” I leaned in. Todd worked for the CPRU, which meant that she had to be a heavy hitter if she was high ranked in the city’s power regulation department. “She’s—”
“Not quite.” He backpedaled. “We share a building. She’s straight DPR.”
I blinked twice at that. “Way to set me up to fail.”
“You should believe in yourself,” Soo cut in.
“Todd I w—”
“And she’s here.” Todd had turned his attention away from me and toward his phone. “Hope you’re ready to meet your soulmate.”
“Honey, don’t set that expectation.”
The bar’s front door opened, and I was the only one who could hear it over the atmosphere. I glanced over, and there she was.
She was stunning by any definition, but especially mine. Maybe it was a strange way to describe someone, but she looked beautifully meticulous, from brunette hair to olive skin, to her light blue jacket; everything was in place, and everything about her was gorgeous. Assuming that was Emma, I owed Todd big time.
“Okay, that can’t be her, right?” I asked Todd. After a second, without a response, I checked to see if he was waving at her, but he was stock still, a stupid grin plastered over his face. “Todd?”
Holy shit. The DPR had some crazy people on their roster, but this- I waved a hand in front of Todd’s face and snapped my fingers, then caught the sound of a single cautious heel clicking against the floor.
I stood up from the table and looked back at the door. She’d taken one step into the bar but had gotten caught in the same shock I had. “Emma?” I asked.
She snapped her attention to me -god, her eyes were- but she just looked confused.
“Toby,” I explained, “I’m Todd’s friend.” I motioned over to Todd’s still body and took the first steps to say hello. “This is really impressive. I didn’t think this was possible. It’s cool to meet someone wh—”
“I’m not doing this,” she said. “This is impossible. How are yo—”
“Trust me, this isn’t in my…” We stared at each other for a moment. Somehow, time stopped more than it already was.
“Holy shit.” We both said it at once.
“So this isn’t you?” she asked. Her eyes were still meandering around the frozen bar instead of staying in the conversation with me.
“No, it’s not,” I walked along her gaze and ended up against the bar counter, “did Todd tell you what my power was?”
“He just told me you wouldn’t mind having me around,” Emma answered, which somehow just brought up more questions.
“Enhanced perception,” I grabbed a drink off of the bar to see if I could; As soon as I touched it, it seemed to animate back to life. “What do you mean, ‘mind having you around’?”
“I dampen powers,” she explained, a little quieter than anything else she’d said, “make them weaker, hard to use. The technical definition is long and wordy so…” She sighed as she watched me slosh the beer around. “It’s a lot of trouble, really.”
“Probably good for work,” I offered.
“Pretty much the whole reason I have my job, but Callum wouldn’t admit that.” She approached, but there wasn’t an open seat near where I was standing, nor could we ask for someone to move. “Callum is—”
“Callum Rehsman, head of the D.P.R for the past six years,” I stepped in, “sorry, comes with the perception thing.”
“Honestly, I’m just glad I don’t have to explain it,” Emma took to leaning against the bar instead of walking over to a seat. She undid the top button of her shirt, which was probably too high for a date, anyway. “Emma Terish. Ring any bells up there?”
“No.”
“And you’re?”
“Toby Vander,” I put down the beer to offer my hand, and it froze as soon as I let go. We both paid attention to that instead of the potential formal hello.
“So this isn’t you.” Emma reached for the glass and picked it up; once she did, it animated just like it had with me. “And it isn’t me…”
I swallowed nothing. We’d both said holy shit for a reason, but it felt impossible to admit it. Wasn’t there supposed to be a — Well, something? Anything?
Then again, we were stopping time, and what else could you ask for?
“Do you want a drink, Toby?” Emma asked. She vaulted herself over the bar with a frankly shocking amount of grace for someone in a pantsuit.
“Uh, sure.”
“I’d ask what you were drinking, but we might have limited options,” she was considering her new vantage point from behind the counter.
I took the opportunity to grab the drink I’d left behind on the table. “I’ll use the one I had.” I tapped Todd’s hand for posterity, and nothing happened to him. “Any idea what this might—”
“No idea,” she answered without letting me finish, “but my job involves dealing with unknown powers, so…” She tried to use the soda-gun and swore when it didn’t work. “You learn to roll with it until people cooperate.”
“You still think I’m doing this?”
“I know it’s not me, and there aren’t many options here with us,” she said as she ducked behind the bar and came back up with a lemonade cooler, “but I came here for a date, and I plan to have one. Been a long week.”
I returned to the bar, finding a seat now that she was on the other side. “I just need to establish that this isn’t me. I’m not trying to—”
“If it isn’t you and it’s not me stopping time around us, then someone is giving us a very private venue for our first date.”
“Isn’t that nice?”
“It really is.” She took a sip of her drink, then pulled it away before she had time to swallow. “Shit. Do you have cash?”
“I’ll cover you.” She frowned at that; clearly she wasn’t satisfied with someone else paying for everything. “Plus, you’re serving me tonight. So…” That seemed to be enough plausible deniability to satisfy her. “Cheers?”
“Cheers.”
Throughout drink one, we were casting nervous glances around the paused bar; by drink five, we were laughing, just the two of us. Hours dripped by with the free beer… or they didn’t… It was hard to tell.
Emma added her sixth can to her pyramid and composed herself. “Okay, okay, okay. One second.” She took a deep breath. “This has been so much fun, but I told Todd I’d tell him when I got here so” — she needed another second to find her verbal footing — “can you stop this now?”
“Stop what?” I was halfway through a sip.
“This is the coolest power I’ve seen but—”
“It’s not me, I promise,” my insistence ended up sounding more like a drunk debate. The drunk part was accurate.
“So your power really is enhanced perception.”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Okay. You’re not lying.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because that’s lame and—” She stopped herself. “Shit, sorry.”
“I am so used to it.”
“You wouldn’t say that drunk if you could stop time is my point,” she almost ducked down to grab another drink but thought better of it. “So, that makes us…”
We’d reached this impasse several times in the last hours. I scanned her. The lines on her face. The size of her irises. She was worried. Apprehensive.
So I said it first.
“We’re soul mates.”
She looked down and to the left, considering instead of answering.
“Why else would one of us display a power we’d never seen before? Unless you’re right and someone was stopping time for everyone but me and—”
“And the woman who’s immune to powers,” she cut in. “Maybe we are soul mates, but turn it off.”
“It’s not—”
“Toby, please.”
“I don’t—” I stopped short and instead tried even though I didn’t know how. My perception was passive. I didn’t get to choose whether I used it. Was there supposed to be a switch somewhere inside my head? Was I—
How long had it been at this point? Six, seven hours? We’d planned to meet pretty late and it would almost be light out by now. She was right. We had to get—
“I don’t know how,” I admitted, “if it’s me.”
Emma opened her mouth to say something, then reconsidered. Her perfectly manicured nails were digging into the vinyl of the bar top.
“Okay. It’s been lovely, but if you getting here started this then,” I said as I stood up, “maybe I just need to leave, and that will turn it off so we can figure out what’s going on.” I took the first steps toward the door.
“That’s a good plan,” she nodded along with what she was saying, like she was convincing herself, “I’ll reach out to you. It was an excellent date.”
“Let Todd know for me,” I added as I reached the door; a second later, I stepped into the chilled early-fall air. The door didn’t shut behind me, so I kept walking until I would have been out of eyesight.
Then I stopped.
Should I have turned around? What were the chances that she was my soul mate? What was I leaving behind if I didn’t see her again? It was a dumb thought, but the idea of walking away started gnawing at me.
But what choice did I have? In front of me, a couple was frozen in the middle of a quiet conversation on the way to the bar. Soul mates only affected one another when they were close by. I took a few more steps and started to sprint.
I was three blocks away when the world stuttered around me. My vision blurred, and the moonlight was shattered by the sun. I stumbled, almost crashing into a woman dressed like she was on her way to brunch.
Shit. I’d left my jacket at the bar, but—
I checked my watch; 8:06 AM.
​
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I am looking for a lady between 25 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner, training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with an avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or at a football game and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I'm looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus, emotional and intimate compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals and ideally, you do too.
Apparently in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well.
Second, intimate compatibility. I am rather insatiable and love to experiment when it comes to the bedroom, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, this kind of fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. I found the term 'filthy best friends and partners' to be a perfect description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
I’d prefer to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself.
Caveats

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I don't want children and had a vasectomy
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

General
I am looking for a lady between 28 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I tried to be as concise as possible while still providing what details I think are crucial to know; I realise this post turned out very long, but I prefer those because I can get as good an idea as possible with detailed descriptions, bar actually talking to the person, and find that very valuable, so if that also applies to you, that would be awesome.
Basics
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner (ranging from 5k to full marathon), training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with a fearful avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or in the stadium watching football and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I am looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus (and there have to be at least a couple things we have in common), emotional and sexual compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals (some of which in quite a litteral sense as they make for really amazing pillows) and ideally, you do too.
There is a saying that in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly, like I said, need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well – this just to put the picture I'm (somewhat haphazardly) trying to paint into perspective.
Second, sexual compatibility. I have a high libido and I have kinks, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy them together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, sexual fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. Someone on here has coined the term 'filthy best friends and partners' which I have no shame to be stealing because it's such an apt description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. I love the relationship model outlined in Stan Tatkin’s ‘Wired for Love’ and you should, too. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. I know codependency is the latest thing everyone’s afraid of, but experiencing someone you’ve grown very attached to just bailing because they’re counterdependent and can’t stand working on themselves while simultaneously letting you in is something I’d rather not go through again. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere. If you think’s it’s okay to lovebomb someone and then leave after a couple of months with the minimum amount of information and no proper conversation because you’re not ready to own up to what’s happening to you emotionally, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, be opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: many childfree people seem to be adventurous, but that is a trait I don't associate with myself at all. I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, seeing them change around us, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side (albeit not regarding height), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
The natural progression for me would be to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but having my heart broken because I already developed feelings due to a longer timeframe and then everything unexpectedly turning to shit is not something I want to have to live through again. I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself, I unfortunately had to learn that
Caveats/Possible red flags

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

I'm not sure if incels are a very outlandish concept here in SG. I'm not proud of being an incel and I never thought that I would become one. However, I do believe that one day I will get past this phase.
For context, I think I have it slightly better than most incels. I'd say my face looks below average, but I'm a lot taller than the average guy in SG, slightly above 190cm, am decently well built since I've been hitting the gym for over a year, am financially stable thanks to my savings, side income and family background.
So you must be thinking: I have everything a 23 year old could want in life. I ORDed around a month ago, I'm currently taking a few months to consider my future job and am figuring out how to expand my side businesses that I've been running for awhile. I'm free, I drive a nice Porsche (Dads 3rd vehicle so it's not mine), have money to do and buy whatever I please, am genetically advantaged in height and body build. Why would I become an incel?
I don't have any friends due to my lack of self confidence, which stems from being bullied in Secondary school. I'd consider myself to be introverted. Every guy my age is going to uni, where they get to make many new friends, experience the hall/uni life, talk to other girls. If not, almost every guy has a friend group that has a girl inside. Even if they don't, one of the friend in the group would have a friend that is a girl, and through him you'd be able to have mutuals etc. I have close to zero exposure with the outside world. It's not that I don't want to go out, it's that I don't have reason to. The only times I go out are to gym, have supper alone, pump petrol. I am on 3 different dating apps, at one point 5. I'll get to that in a second.
You know sometimes you see someone attractive, you'd glace at them? Throughout my life, even up till now, I've never caught a girl giving me attention. Which leads me to the incel mindset.
Think about it. I've seen girls on social media and in public sometimes. Most of them date guys that are either super handsome with thick eyebrows, tall and huge, clear skin, good fashion sense. You do occasionally see some girls date guys that are average or even below average looking, but the harsh truth is that the girls themselves aren't very attractive. I know I'm a hypocrite.
Girls don't want guys that treat them well or give them attention. For some reason, girls only like guys that don't know that they exist or treat them like trash. If an average looking guy kept giving a girl attention and tried chasing her, do you really think she'd fall for him if there's a good looking guy that she likes but doesn't like her back? In SG, girls can choose whoever they want, I don't know why. Guys will fall for you if you're even remotely attractive and if you spend enough time with him. Chances are, and a girl uses this to her advantage, the better looking guy will fall for her if she gives him attention. So she chooses to friendzone the average looking guy and take a chance at dating the better looking guy, because she knows that there is a high chance that he'd start to fall for her.
There's this saying where 80% of girls go for the top 10% of men. I am not in that 10% because of my trash social skills with girls and average/below average face. I've been on dating apps for 3 years, and at this point I'm done with them. At first, I'd slowly swipe the girls and consider if she's really my type. But now I just spam like because the girls that I like don't like me back. I get like 1 match every 2 weeks, even being on multiple dating apps. Skill issue? Do you really think she'd swipe on me when there are better looking guys on the apps? And the fucking shittiest part is when I match with a girl that i'm interested in, I send the first message (because in sg thats how its supposed to be), and then the next morning i wake up she unmatches. In the 3 years I've been on dating apps I've gone on 0 dates. I had 2 conversations with girls that I was interested in. only for 1 to ghost me and for the other to unmatch me.
This is what I deduce from my experience with girls on dating apps and my ex. I'm financially stable, I'm tall, I'm well built. Yet I'm unable to get the attention of a girl. This is because of my face and my awkwardness/lack of ability to speak to girls because I don't have much experience. If I were good looking, the second part wouldn't matter because the girl would be the one trying to carry on the conversation. Because of this mindset, I've slowly started to resent girls because of their mindsets. Whenever I'd see a girl at my gym/in public, I start to feel a sense of hatred and sadness. I can't explain why. I don't think I'd make a bad boyfriend. All I want is to start a family and my girlfriend and I work together to build our family and our own home. But I don't have the chance, no girl would want to even give me a chance because I'm not handsome.
TLDR: Height/muscles/mannerisms don't matter, as long as your face looks good you're set.
I know this post is going to get a lot of hate. I'm not posting this so that I'd get pity. I just wanted to share my experiences. I'd love to hear your opinions.

It’s pretty much as the title says. My partners sister and her partner is visiting us soon for a little under a week. They’re decent people, but they don’t wash their hands, and it drives me crazy, because I feel like our entire home gets disgusting with their private-parts bacteria all over the place, esp for guys after holding their 🍆 while peeing.. Oh, and not to mention, is there a way to ask guys to sit down while peeing as to not get piss drops all over the floor? 😅
I like them generally speaking, but I HATE having them visit us, especially for longer periods of time because of this. Last time the visited, I told my bf to say something, like say in a jokingly way to his sister “ew wash your hands” after she’s come out and he’s “walking past coincidentally” but he never does - he is terrible with confrontations. And since it’s only the two of us that live together and we are hygienic people, it would be pretty weird/unusual for us to have signs up that says “wash your hands”. 😅
I don’t know what to do. Do any of you have suggestions?
I may come across as a hygienic freak, but I hate the feeling of not being able to be comfortable in my own home, and feeling uncomfortable with going to the toilet because I feel like I’ll drag pee drops/bacteria from my hands and feet all around the house just messes with my head. 😅
TLDR: my boyfriends sister and her boyfriend are visiting us soon, but they don’t wash their hands, and I don’t know how to hint/ask them nicely about it, and it makes me feel uncomfortable in my own home when they visit because I feel like bacteria gets all over the place, and my boyfriend doesn’t tell them off.

Any and all perspectives help more than you know. I don’t have anybody to really talk about this with so any guidance is appreciated. It’s a lot to read, I might yap but with reason
I’m 19 years old and have just finished my spring semester of college. I went to a big college out of town, my main financial aid fucked me over so I had to switch at semester to my home state’s university. Anyway, this year was kinda tough for me lost a couple family members & my boyfriend had it rough, lost his best friend and dad within a few months of each other. Then we find out I’m pregnant. I wasn’t sure what I really wanted but didn’t get to make a choice, I miscarried sometime later. It was hard so I went back to hometown & finished semester online while staying with boyfriend until I needed to move my stuff out of dorm.
My boyfriend is 19 and we’ve been together a year & a half, but known each other since middle school. We dated in 8 grade until he had to move out of state, he moved back & we started hanging out again. My circle is small & I don’t really make/have any friends but he’s my best friend. Even if we wouldn’t have chose to date after he came back to town, ik we would’ve been good friends. My family liked him or seemed to at least, especially my mom.
It’s well known in my family that my mom and I just don’t get along. She kept me quite literally locked away as the Cinderella child until I left. I could only do things if she wasn’t in a bad mood/something didn’t need cleaned/ a child didn’t need to be picked up/dropped off. My friends in high school never invited me ANYWHERE lmao but after a while I figured out it’s easier to just deal w it rather than push back harder. I didn’t know how to use a crosswalk until I was 14 lmao I was so sheltered sorry ANYWAYS, I turned 18 and it was like I had a brand new mother until her fear of me leaving wore off.
Long story short, the summer before I left for college (last summer) my mom & I got into a fight, I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I moved in with boyfriend. My mom did the absolute most, almost got me fired from my job & ambulance ended up being called from how much of a tantrum she threw. It was so ridiculous that she refused to tell anybody what happened when people asked because she said it’s too embarrassing for her.
Just like that, she flipped. My boyfriend had a rough upbringing which she knows some stuff about. She took that and twisted the narrative to make him seem like some sort of charity case that took advantage of her generous & good graces. She calls him the hungry kid who hangs out w her daughter behind my back. He’s no longer allowed at her house lmao just out of spite. He never said a word to her or about her when she had the worst to say about him, he never was disrespectful or showed up to the house either so idrk why she said that. Even when I moved out & she drained my entire savings I had worked for since I was 15, he never said anything bad about her just that i was going to be okay & he’s gonna help me figure it out. Not only that but she shunned me for a long time, refused to talk & look at me after I moved out. My little brother was 5 and didn’t really understand but my mom didn’t try to explain or kid proof it, just let him scream, cry, & claw at my legs whenever I’d leave the house to go home. I felt incredibly guilty & like I had to compensate so I’d stress out & make sure to see her and my siblings every single day till I left for college.
If you’re still reading thank you sm.
Fast forward to today, I went to college finished my semester and am back in my hometown. Over breaks in college I’ve stayed at my moms cause she expected me to and her & I’s relationship has gotten so much better with distance. Between her and boyfriend, they were my biggest support especially with the miscarriage. But the only conversation they’ve had is when him and I went to talk to my mom in person when I found out I was pregnant. Not sure where she stands with him idrc but I’m sure she probably hates him more since we did technically make her worst fear as a mother come true.
Im living with her now mainly cause I don’t want to be isolated again & i physically cant deal with the debilitating anxiety and guilt every day, I wanted to try to focus on healing & resting before I start classes in the fall. Boyfriend’s family situation is getting v challenging for him, hes gonna get a place regardless. I really just want a space where I’m not feeling constantly overstimulated & I miss living with him a lot honestly. We make the best team & it’s so easy with him. I catch myself getting so excited looking at furniture even from the thrift or think ab cooking meals w him or decorating. I miss him making breakfast for me before I wake up and folding laundry together and grocery shopping. He’s paying 6 months rent in advance so that I won’t have to worry about getting enough hours & can enjoy summer and actually rest. Both of us independently have a pretty thick cushion to fall back on too just in case. So finances aren’t a problem I think?
My mom isn’t too keen on the idea. I think she doesn’t want me to make the same mistakes she made, which I understand because I was also there when she was left with half of every pair of shoes she owned, I mean he took literally half of everything. Even in the case that we do break up and then I’m stuck with an apartment with my ex and have completely fucked myself over, at least I was able to make my own mistake for the first time and learn from it? Idk what to tell my mom or how the conversation should go. I don’t wanna be shunned again but then again I’ve never once been able to just do something and justify it with “it’s my life”. Idk, advice/thoughts/bullshit/opinions please please help. Have a blessed day, thank you. I appreciate your time & input more than you know, I don’t have anybody to bounce ideas around with.

Hello, you can call me Cory. I am a woman nearly 23 and just went no contact with my mom. It all happened so fact and I’m not regretting it at all, but I am trying to process it. I’ve always ALWAYS had horribly mixed feelings about my mom. She has always been so scared and angry and yet she was the only parent ever in my life. My dad came in and out ripping my heart to pieces and she was my only constant. She was at least taking care of us(my older brother and I) though my brother did most of the emotional part since she was always so scarily unpredictable. Lashing out for needing lunch money, signatures, talking to her too soon after she got home from work, asking about dinner was a regular if not daily occurrence in that house. She also didn’t want to be a mom and reminded us of that constantly. We ‘ruined’ her. We were always a burden it seemed. There was also the threat of her sending us to our father, who she knew was physically violent, if we protested or cause too much trouble. She primed us for college as if that was our life purpose, and now I’m here. My brother didn’t finish college and so the pressure shifted all to me in high school. I broke myself and burnt out trying to get all A’s and the best test scores possible. I did rotc, our band’s color guard, culinary, honor societies, you name it. I got to my senior year and Covid came. I honestly enjoyed being able to recluse for the time I was able, some may say I still am. It was the first time in my life if felt like I was able to realize college wasn’t a dream for me, it was hers. Telling her that came with the mixed message of she wanted me to be happy but she would not support me at all if I didn’t go; knowing I couldn’t support myself, I went. I just kept faltering though, I was unable to handle much of college after sophomore year but I just wanted to get it over with. During that time she married my ex’s dad and didn’t even bother to tell me. I found out while helping her edit a letting to his boss thanking them for the honeymoon. I was devastated. I felt like I wasn’t even a part of our own family anymore. This is after my brother went no contact with her too so I felt totally alone. She went across the country and left me alone in a state with no family. She did pay for my dorm but I felt abandoned. Telling her this was met with her telling me how selfish I was for not wanting her to go. Fast forward to now. I have moved in with my boyfriend, taken over all my bills and financially separated from her. Her new step son of course graduated on time and so she came down for it. I had been avoiding talking to her for months and involved her as little as I could in my life. Every conversation was so tense I never felt comfortable telling her anything in fear that it would be weaponized against me. So after days of her trying to push me into plans of seeing her, I finally cut the cord. I told her how far I felt from our relationship. I told her how hurt by our whole lives I was. I told her that I was glad that she had people around her for this so that she wasn’t alone. I told her that I couldn’t blame her for everything considering that she came from extreme abuse. Often times when I’m mad at her, I will see her as the little girl I saw in a picture of her when she was young. I look at her and I see such a broken woman who just decided that she would never seek help. I look at her and I see such a broken woman who just decided that she would never seek help. my father was physically abusive, so I got used to the feeling of not having a dad but for a while the thought that my mom might’ve eventually love me like I needed it got me through him and the loss of him. I feel like I’ve been begging with her for centuries to at least hear me out in a way that wasn’t dismissive. It never really worked. Any pain I expressed was taken as a criticism of her p dismissive. It never really worked. Any pain I expressed was taken as a criticism of her unwanted parentage. In a way I think it was that she got a whole new family that hurt the most. It feels like when she married him, she did everything she could to erase that we even existed. Bringing up my father was a no, her having a different last name was a no, suddenly our last name was bad and only representative of her father. It worked the same for him too though, her new husband. I don’t disagree with wanting to wipe the slate clean and begin anew, but to erase a father or a mother from your child’s life is to erase part of who that are. My dad abused all of us. Much of my life was defined by that. To erase him, came with her erasing this person who grew up only know how to fight or get hit. That’s who I’m trying to grow out of, but it is part of me. I can never deny that. I don’t ever want to talk to her, but I miss her so much. I miss feeling like we had a future, like he wanted me, like she felt safe with me. I miss feeling safe with her. I miss her smile and the way she laughed with me. I miss seeing her excited about life. I blocked her soon after because I thought she’d just tell me how horrible I was. I couldn’t imagine a situation where she would do what I wanted: hug me, apologize. I really wish I would have gotten a last hug or something because she hasn’t tried to contact me since. I know that is what I want, but that is only because she stopped trying to have a life with us. My adolescence felt like her race to the finish line. Before no contact, but after she moved, she had never come to visit me. She never called to talk about life past how I was in school. If I was too honest about my discontentment, we only fought, so everything became fake. I don’t know how to feel about this all. I’m struggling. I’m just looking for support and am in between therapists at the moment. Anything is something. I’m not looking to have my mind changed. I know she’s happy now that she can be in the world she wants. Thank you for reading.

Long story short and as much as it sucks to say, I haven't really experienced much of anything. I'm going to intentionally beat around the bush as to what category that "experience" falls under but I think most people should be able to figure it out lol. In other words (and if you play games), I'm a complete noob when it comes to all things girls. As for why those things haven't happened and why I want that to change.. There's a few reasons, but the main reason why I'm putting such an emphasis on this is because I'm a huge homebody and I don't go out much at all which makes it difficult to meet people. That's where Reddit comes in! The message I'm essentially trying to send is becoming physically and emotionally close with a girl is what I want the most. I want to experience it all; the laughs, excitement, curiosity, intimacy, hanging out, fun. Blame all the Disney movies I watched as a kid for that lol.
Finding someone would be a dream come true, but I'd love to find friends too if that's all you're looking for! Local or international, just let me know if that's what you want instead :) We could end up being really close friends and you'll introduce me to a friend who I end up being with? That may or may not be the plot from a romcom 🤔 So that means I definitely wouldn't be opposed to a relationship! I've obviously never been in one so I'm not exactly sure how to transition to that, haha. I totally wouldn't mind finding out, though :) Also someone to say good morning and night to, too. That would be the best even if it's incredibly cheesy.
Anyway, it could be someone with a lot of experience or someone with no experience like me, or introverted or not introverted, etc. I don't have a preference either way :) But if I were to be reaaally picky: they'd be sweet and down to earth because just cuddling on its own would be all kinds of cool. A bit about me: I'm shy, caring, kind, sweet and am normal in the weight and height categories. I want to say I'm cute in the looks department? 🙈 I'll let you decide that though lol. I think it's super fun learning about people through conversation so I'll leave the following hobbies section blank. Then again, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to give a small hint to something I love.. My username should provide clues to that! I Siriusly need to re-watch the movies again. Maybe with someone I meet through r4r?
Alright, I can't hold it in anymore. I pretty much like a little bit of everything. For example, when it comes to music, I go through Backstreet Boys phases to Disney song phases (Moana is awesome and I haven't even seen the movie 🙊) to something like Linkin Park, Paramore or 50 Cent. What I'm trying to say is I like a little bit of everything! So there's a good chance I'll like whatever you like when it comes to hobbies and interests and that means connecting with each other should be relatively natural/seamless. Or maybe that's wishful thinking on my part, haha.
I'm not the best with openers and if you're also in the same boat, then how about this: If you could have any superpower what would it be and how would you use it? Being out of this world smart like Tony Stark is an acceptable super poweanswer, by the way.
Hopefully my first impression is a good one! If anyone is even remotely interested, then just let me know and I'll get back to you asap!

Wonder Women

Issue Fifty
Written by u/VoidKiller826
Edited by u/Predaplant
Arc: Revelations
*************************************************************
Greetings, people of Gateway City. This is your new peacekeeper speaking. You might know me as the White Magician, a rather crude name, but I will accept it considering Man’s World's lack of creativity. However, you may also call me Circe, and I am here with an important message that your news station will deliver for all to hear.
SCYTHE is no more: their HQ is under my and the Red Centipedes’ command. The Commander and his soldiers are dead and buried, as you all wished to happen. I was more than happy to oblige you if it meant depriving your stupid President of her next chance for reelection. Any survivors of the prison break are being hunted down by the people they locked in cages, who are more than happy to round them up as they once had been themselves.
But none of that’s important, for this recording is only to be heard by one person: Olympos, Wonder Girl, or whatever the fuck new title name you want to be called. This message is for you: You are to surrender yourself to me here in SCYTHE HQ in the next five hours, and in turn, I will not destroy this piss-end of a city. If you fail, I promise you, I will make Coast City look like a picnic by the time I finish with Gateway.
That cow you call Wonder Woman is dead, and I will make sure everyone else will follow her if you don’t comply with my request.
Your mentor learned a valuable lesson when she tested my patience.
*************************************************************
Spears Apartment - Gateway City:
[...President Cale has announced the complete closure of all access to Gateway City following the prison break that occurred in SCYTHE’s holding facility hours ago,] said Cassandra Arnold from GateNews, the city’s main news station. [We still have an unconfirmed number of escapees following the message sent by the White Magician, but the President has assured GateNews a solution will be found.]
Vanessa Kapatelis watched the TV in dismay. Pacing back and forth in the Spears duplex apartment, she had the TV on to pass the time while Ares worked on helping Helena and Cassandra upstairs.
“Here,” Vanessa turned away from the TV to see Tanya Spears handing her a bottle of water. “Something for you to drink.”
“Thank you,” Vanessa accepted the bottle. “I would prefer a beer, but this will make do.”
“My mom has her wine collection in a locked cabinet,” Tanya noted, pointing at the kitchen. “She doesn’t know that I know that, but I can get you a bottle?”
Vanessa chuckled. “Thanks, but I don’t want a girl your age to be walking around with alcohol or to get you in trouble with your mom.” She twisted the bottle cap and slowly drank. “I needed that… it feels like I’ve been dry for months.”
“It’s actually been 3 hours,” Tanya said, sitting on the sofa and opening her tablet to look over the internet. “I hope what she said wasn’t true… about Wonder Woman not being around…”
Taking a seat by her side, Vanessa saw that Tanya was reading through the report on what happened to SCYTHE. The escaped convicts had taken control of the SCYTHE headquarters and equipment after killing many of the agents that had stood in their way.
Seeing the photo of SCYTHE HQ burning angered her. That place should represent the absolute shield of Gateway. Now, it had come under the control of the convicts that they were supposed to stop because of Aeeta Branwen. A name that had made her happy now belonged to a stranger who had lied to her all this time.
Memories of their most intimate moments came flooding back: their first conversation, their first date, their kiss, and the morning after their date in her apartment. It was a moment when she thought she could finally stop grieving and move on from what happened to Coast City. And now, that had been disintegrated into oblivion.
In anger, she crushed the bottle with her hand, spraying water all over the table and the floor.
“Shit!” Vanessa stood up, finally realizing her mistake. “I am sorry!”
“Oh, it's fine!” Tanya ran to the kitchen to grab some paper towels. “It’s just water.”
“I know it’s just…” Taking the paper towel, the two began wiping the floor and the table. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“I’ll bet with everything that happened,” said Tanya, giving Vanessa a supportive smile. “Your friends are getting hurt, and you can’t do anything but watch. It would piss anyone off. I know it did with me when the RedCent guys invaded EE Tower.”
“Yeah…” Vanessa sat back on the sofa. “But this… I not only possibly lost many friends, but I was betrayed by someone I loved, someone who I thought was the one for me…” she said, distraught, as tears ran down her face.
Tanya, without saying anything more, hugged Vanessa closely. Despite them knowing each other for only a few hours, Tanya knew that Vanessa was in pain. Watching her loved ones being hurt by someone that she trusted must have been a hard truth to accept.
The doors upstairs opening and closing caught the two’s attention. Looking up, they saw Somya Spears descending, looking exhausted, like she had gone ten rounds in the ring. As she reached the ground floor, Tanya ran up to her mother, hugged her close, and guided her to the nearest chair to rest.
“Is everything alright, mom?” Tanya asked, worried.
“Yeah… just felt that I might take that long overdue vacation…” Somya answered, leaning against the soft chair with a tired sigh. “Maybe we’ll go to Paris like you wanted, Tanya…”
More steps followed, and Ares, or Mars as he insisted to be called, followed Somya, pulling his folded-up sleeves back. Unlike Somya, he didn’t seem any different from when he went upstairs to help the Sandsmarks, but the few strands of hair on his face told a different story.
“How are they?” Vanessa asked, walking up to the former God of War. “Are they ok?”
Ares turned to Vanessa. “The girl has a lot of heart, far too stubborn to let a beating keep her down.” He said with praise, impressed with the former Wonder Girl’s willpower. “Her Sumerian blood will help her heal in only a few days, but it won’t help her mental wounds after I told her the news about her mother.”
Vanessa had a lot of questions about what he had said, especially the word Sumerian; perhaps Cassie was not simply half-Olympian. However, she focused on the most important detail in his explanation. “What happened with Helena?” She asked in a worried tone. “Is she-”
“She is alive,” Ares said, but his expression shifted, frowning, making her nervous. “Physically, she will recover, she has only a few cuts and bruises. Even a human like her can heal those.”
“But?”
“But it's the spell Circe struck her with. It is unlike anything I’ve seen because it is of her creation,” Ares explained, and Vanessa ground her teeth together when she heard the name belonging to the stranger who hurt her and her loved ones. “Whatever she used, it is affecting her very soul, slowly killing her.”
“Like a virus?” Vanessa asked, and Ares nodded. “Magic can do that?”
“It does,” Ares answered. “Magic can create a nuclear bomb if the user has the patience for it. And Circe is a master at it, one of the very best and most gifted witches on the planet, so making something like this would be as easy as making a cake for her.”
Magic had never been SCYTHE’s priority, but the Commander still made them study anything related to the subject in case they had to face it. Vanessa had never expected to see it at this scale.
“Can you break it?” Vanessa asked. “Find a way to break the curse from Helena’s soul?”
Ares took a deep breath, pocketing his hands. “It’s too complex to break. I will admit Magic is not my strongest suit, but even if you bring in someone knowledgeable, it would be a while for them to break her creation,” he explained. “You need someone at her level of knowledge when it comes to magic, and I am not the best person to face her in that department.”
“Then we call for a specialist, anyone, really,” Vanessa said in desperation. “If this is like a virus, a curse, then we bring a surgeon to cut it out! Maybe Cassie can use her Justice Legion connection, or maybe you can call someone for a favor.”
Vanessa's desperation was clear. She was willing to call for the Justice Legion, the very people she swore to go against for their vigilantism, if it meant saving Helena Sandsmark, her promise be damned.
“The spell is growing far too rapidly. By the time you find someone, it will be far too late,” Ares said solemnly. “The only person in the world who can break the spell without any problem or fear of failsafe is Hecate, the Goddess of Magic. She was Circe’s mentor, and she taught her everything she could about magic. No matter how complex it is, Hecate would understand it.”
“She can help us?”
Ares shook his head. “No, she has no interest in helping the world unless it is connected to her directly, and even then, dealing with her is the worst-case scenario because there is a chance she’ll side with Circe before she even thinks of helping us.”
“So what now?” Vanessa asked, sounding defeated. “Just let Helena die? Let Cassie suffer? Let Circe win?!” she shouted angrily, finally addressing Circe by name. All of this explanation from Ares told her one thing: that the Witch had them beat, and they couldn’t do anything about it.
Ares didn’t react to her outburst, while the Spears looked worried. Tanya, for her part, tried to walk up to calm Vanessa, but the War God raised his hand to stop her, shaking his head and giving her the silent sign to let Vanessa be.
“There is one way: it will be quicker if we act fast enough, but it would take everything from all of us for it to happen,” Ares said, beginning his explanation. “There is a chain link connecting the spell, from the spell caster to Circe. This means it can be broken if we force Circe to release the chain connecting her to Helena…” he explained, letting his words be understood by the occupants in the room before finishing with one last note. “Killing Circe would also break the binding if she didn’t leave any contingencies.”
Vanessa gritted her teeth. “So we have to make her break the spell, and hopefully she doesn’t screw us over… or we kill her, and hopefully she still doesn’t screw us over even in death?” she asked, and Ares nodded. “What kind of person is willing to put in all that work? Just for revenge? On Diana, who is long gone?”
Ares shrugged and turned to the Spears, his gaze focused on Tanya, his daughter. Someone whom he never thought he would meet again was facing him, without knowledge of their blood relations.
“Possibly,” Ares answered, taking a step back. “But if there is one thing I know for sure, Circe does not put these kinds of bindings without any reason. Whatever that reason is involves Cassandra Sandsmark and whether she will choose to make Circe break the spell or kill her, tainting her forever.”
Silence came to the room, letting Ares’s words sink in for all occupants, which might have been the same words he said to the Sandsmarks.
*************************************************************
The room of Somya Spears was quiet, with the only sound being the breathing of Helena Sandsmark lying on the bed sleeping. The room was spacious, with an expensive queen-sized bed as expected from an interim CEO of one the largest companies in the world.
Seated a few feet away on a chair was Cassandra Sandsmark, dressed in fresh clothes given to her by Somya after throwing off the bloody tattered ones she had arrived in. Watching her mother closely, Cassandra’s mind was racing, especially after what Ares told her about the curse Circe placed on her mother, slowly destroying her soul bit by bit until she was nothing but a husk.
“Dammit!” In anger at their situation, she crushed the armchair, tearing its arm off like it was made of paper. If she was stronger, faster, and had the heart for it, she would have stopped the Witch, stopped her from hurting her city, the people of SCYTHE, and those caught in the crossfire, stopped her from hurting her mother…
She buried her face into her hands, tears running down her eyes as she despaired. Everything she worked on after Coast City evaporated was ground up under a very powerful enemy out for revenge.
Considering Circe’s ultimatum, her city could well be gone by the time this was over.
“Artemis… please be safe…” she whispered. She had nearly had a panic attack when she heard the news of the Amazon heading to SCYTHE HQ to stop the prison break, and then… nothing. No matter how many times she dialed her phone, there was no one answering, and she feared for the worst.
She heard her mother coughing, and Cassandra was quickly by her side. “Mom!” she called for her, holding her hand.
“Cassandra?...” Her mother said her name weakly. Her skin was becoming paler, a clear sign that the curse spell was working. “Are you… ok?”
“I’m fine, Mom,” Cassandra answered, covering the bandages hidden inside her clothes. “We’re safe. You’re safe.” she said, tightening both her hands around her mothers.
“Did you… break something?” She asked, looking at the chair behind her. “You shouldn’t be… doing that… we are guests…”
Cassandra laughed, her tears falling away. “Sorry… it’s just… it’s been a hell of a week…”
Helena touched her daughter’s cheek, noticing the bandage on it. “You’re… hurt…”
“It’s alright, Mom. Just a few bruises,” Cassandra assured. “You shouldn’t worry, you know I can take it…”
“I am your… mother, Cassandra,” Helena said, facing her daughter. “Demi-God or not… I will always be worried… scared for my little girl.”
Cassandra’s tears came back. Seeing her mother remain strong despite everything made her happy, and she was terrified of losing her.
“So… my soul is cursed?” Helena asked.
“You heard all that?”
“Can’t not… with all the swearing…” Helena noted, giving her daughter a small smile. “You shouldn’t swear at people, Cassandra, especially those who are trying to help.”
“I know, I know,” Cassandra said. She had gone off on Ares after he explained what happened to her mother, and she might have overreacted when she put all her anger on the former War God. “It’s just… I don’t want to lose you… not while we can fix this.”
Helena sat up on her bed, fully facing her daughter. “Which is why… I don’t want you to make the wrong choice.”
“I won’t,” Cassandra said with a low tone. “I will make Circe free you from this curse-”
“No, Cassandra,” Helena grabbed both of Cassandra’s hands with hers. “That is not what I meant…”
Cassandra raised her brows, confused. “Mom?”
“I heard everything… from Circe’s spell… how it works… and how it can be broken…” Helena said, shocking Cassandra. “I know you already decided what you feel you have to do.”
Cassandra didn’t answer, avoiding her mother’s disapproving gaze accusing her. Ares said the quickest way to break the binding and the spell was either by forcing Circe to break it herself or by killing her, severing the connection.
But if what Circe said was true, that Diana decided to kill her instead of making her surrender like everyone else who faced her, that means there was no chance the Witch would submit willingly. She would rather die than give the satisfaction of admitting defeat.
Which left only one solution where she could save her mother.
Helena sighed, knowing what decision her daughter might have made. She held her hand tightly and changed the subject. “I have to tell you something…”
“No, mom. You’re not giving me the ‘Dying Speech’, not while there is a chance we can save you-”
“It’s about your father,” Helena cut her off, shutting Cassandra up. “Your real father…”
Cassandra remembered Circe calling her Daughter of Enlil, not Zeus. Ares said he was a friend of her father, which confused her because Ares hated Zeus, so it wouldn’t make sense that he would help out even if they were his siblings.
“Enlil…” Cassandra said the name aloud, and Helena’s eyes widened, her breath hitching when she heard the name. “Circe… she called me Daughter of Enlil… Child of the Sky...”
Helena took a deep breath, bringing her daughter closer. “Yes… that is true…” she began. “You are not Zeus’s daughter, Cassandra, nor you are an Olympian in any way… but you are in fact… Sumerian… Mesopotamian,” The elder Sandsmark brought her youngest closer and spoke carefully, as if worried that someone might hear them. “Your father is Enlil, the Sumerian God of Wind… and he was the kindest man I have ever known…”
From then on, Helena explained Cassandra’s origins as carefully as possible, pushing on even while the spell affected her. She explained how she met Enlil, a man with golden hair similar to Cassandra’s, who introduced himself as an expert in Mesopotamian history during an expedition in Iraq. They had become rivals at first due to their clashing personalities, but how that developed into respect, to eventually falling in love after a very lengthy adventure that sounded like the plot of The Mummy.
And that love resulted in Cassandra’s birth. He helped raise her with Helena for the first year and a half before he disappeared because he had Olympian enemies and had to leave them to keep them safe.
While she explained all this, Cassandra’s mind went to another piece of critical information. Her father’s true identity had never been the most important thing for her. But what made it important was what Circe told her about Diana’s true reason for coming to Gateway City. It wasn’t just settling in a ‘piss-end of a city’ the more she taught about it, the more she realized the terrifying truth behind her mentor’s reasoning for coming to the city.
Diana was sent to find Cassandra, a Sumerian Demi-God, the Olympians greatest enemy since the Titans, and eliminate her. The prophecy of the Godkiller that they had feared might have come from Cassandra, but all it did was start a long, personal, and bloody war between two women because of the gods' demands for blood.
And now, she, Artemis, and Gateway City suffered the consequences. Even after Diana’s death, Circe would not let her hatred for what had happened to her go, and if it meant destroying her mentor’s legacy, she would do it.
‘Diana…’ Cassandra thought in sadness.
*************************************************************
SCYTHE Sub Base - Industrial District:
“I am not sure how you were able to do it, but you somehow found an ever more depressing place than that HQ of yours. It makes the cell you put us in look like a five-star hotel room,” said one Pamela Isley, formerly Poison Ivy, seated in the middle of a large room behind a large table. Around her were what was left of the SCYTHE agents they had saved during the escape, all working to get the makeshift base they had hidden up and running.
Alexei Abramovici, the Bloodcrow of SCYTHE, glared at the former supervillain, not happy with her comment. He turned to one of his men and began barking orders, “You! Get the goddamn Black Room working! We are running blind here!”
‘Worker drones even without their Commander.’ Pamela looked on unimpressed at the agents. She had never been that sympathetic to the plight of cops getting killed, especially militarized ones. The once mighty and feared peacekeepers of Gateway, who went to war against all the crime syndicates and the Red Centipedes, were now a mere little squad that won’t be able to protect a mini-mart, let alone every escaped convict under the command of the White Magician.
“Man… the signal here sucks!” complained Miguel Barragan by her side, raising his phone and trying to catch any kind of signal. “Could barely talk to my boyfriend when I called him, and can’t connect to the internet,” he complained. He tried once again to call but he couldn’t find a signal. “Useless brick…”
“We are underground in a bunker previously owned by Neo-Nazis, Barragan,” Pamela noted. From what she had heard, this used to be an old RedCent hideout that SCYTHE took over after the war, using it as a smaller base in case of emergency. “Not receiving any signal is part of the appeal of the place.”
“Bunker, huh…” Miguel chuckled. The name Bunker reminded him of the super name that he picked out; the more time passed, the more convinced he was that it was the right one.
Pamela gave a confused look at his expression and shrugged it off. Turning to her right, she saw the silent Emily Sung staring off into the distance. Unlike Barragan, Emily had other matters on her mind. Whatever she sensed or saw back at SCYTHE HQ freaked her out, like seeing something she shouldn’t.
Just as Pamela was about to ask her how she was feeling, a knock on the large blast doors echoed around the base, loud enough for all to hear. Quickly, everyone felt tense, and the SCYTHE agents covered the door as Alexei signaled them to aim their weapons. After the news of the escaped convicts taking control of SCYTHE HQ and their equipment and weaponry, the agents knew that they were being haunted now by the convicts looking for revenge, so they were not taking any chances.
“Would you mind opening the door!” A familiar voice said behind the door, a voice Pamela recognized right away. “I have a bloody Amazon here, and I would like her off my fur!”
“Barbara?” Pamela realized.
“Minerva? As in the Cheetah?” Alexei asked, eyes narrowed with suspicion. “She could be working with them, with the White Magician.”
“She isn’t,” Pamela answered, glaring at the SCYTHE soldier for the accusation. “She would never ally with the psychos you had under lock and key.”
Alexei scoffed. “That woman got a cemetery filled with people who say otherwise, and she hurt the mother of someone I know.”
Before the two could argue, Miguel stood up and decided to take action. He extended his hand, forming a large arm construct from it, and grabbed the handle of the blast door. With one pull, he opened it wide. Barbara entered. Her feline form made some of the SCYTHE agents tense, and weapons were still trained on her.
“Quite the welcoming committee…” she noted in sarcasm. “Now, would you be dears and get this woman some help?” She adjusted the unconscious and bloody Artemis on her back. Her blood covered Barbara’s fur.
“Medic!” Alexei called for an agent nearby before turning to Miguel. “And you, don’t use your freaky powers until I order you to do so.”
“Sorry tin man, I don’t speak fascist,” Miguel responded with a smirk, and Alexei glared at him.
The medic quickly came to Barbara and guided her to a nearby makeshift hospital room, which had a bed and various equipment to help the SCYTHE wounded. Barbara went in haste, and gently, with the help of the medic, they placed the injured Amazon on the bed, her blood soaking the white sheets red.
“How the hell did you even find us?” Alexei asked as he and the others entered. “I made sure I covered all our steps.”
“You did,” Barbara noted, stepping back to let the medic check on Artemis. She turned to Alexei and pointed at her nose. “But one of you has a very special pheromone that I can smell for miles,” she said with a smile as she turned her gaze to Pamela. “Still with those rose scents around you.”
The redhead smiled. “Maybe it’s that mark you left on me.”
“More than you think, Pammy.”
“Christ…” the medic gasped, catching everyone’s attention. “How is she still alive? And how long has she been like this?” He asked, examining the injured Amazon.
Her armor was wholly wrecked, beyond repair. Her headpiece was half broken, and the gauntlets and braces on her arms and legs were dented and unusable. Her injuries were severe: open wounds, slash marks, and burn marks were all over her body, and judging from blows on her armor, she might have had a few broken bones as well.
“Didn’t bother to look at the time with some of the grunts that were sent after us,” Barbara answered, leaning on a nearby chair as fatigue finally set in for her. “But these Amazons are too stubborn to die, and I know that from experience…”
The number of times Barbara thought she had beaten Diana only for the Amazon to get back up and beat her back was many, and it frustrated the woman to no end, but now she couldn’t help but be in awe at the resilience of these warriors.
“Her Amazon gifts will heal her,” Barbara noted. “But I am not sure how long it will take…”
“I doubt it will take more than a few days at least…” the medic noted, bringing out some bandages and wrapping them around her arms. “She will need a miracle to even walk out of here on her own two feet.”
“Uhmm…” Everyone in the room turned to Emily Sung, who stood by the doorway. “I… I think I can help her heal faster.”
Barbara and the medic gave her an odd look. To better explain it, Emily brought her hands together, and a small flame began to form from her palm. However, they weren’t bright orange flames; they were blue flames, and they didn’t feel any heat from them.
“I developed this technique while training,” said Emily. “It's a fire spell that doesn’t burn, but it heals people. I first used it on Miguel when he hurt his hands, and it was instantaneous,” she explained, and Miguel showed his fully healed hand as if he was demonstrating it. “But this will be the first time I will heal someone with this severe of injuries…”
Pamela and Barbara looked at the blue flames with wide eyes. In Pamela’s case, she was told that Emily had powers, and from Miguel’s description, she had the power of all the elements. However, seeing it firsthand and feeling it from just that tiny flame made her sense there was power behind it, warmth, like the sun.
“Do it,” Barbara said, taking a step back. “At this point, if we need magic to get her back into the fight, we better get to it before we lose her for real.” She turned to the shocked medic. This was the first time he would ever see magic in play. “And you, guide her in whatever wounds need to be healed.”
The medic nodded. It was better than nothing. With his guidance and Miguel’s support by her side, Emily went to work to heal Wonder Woman, who was in a state of life and death if they didn’t work fast enough, all while Circe and her crew were out there terrorizing the city.
“What’s the news out there?” Alexei asked after the three left the infirmary room. “We are in the dark here, and I couldn’t radio in anyone with the pieces of junk we got. Not even my brother, who was trying to get as many agents as possible.”
“Brother?” Barbara asked before she realized who his brother was. Her expression became solemn. She remembered the Warhammer who stayed behind to slow Circe and her crew, giving Barbara a chance to escape with Artemis on her back. “The guy with the Hammer…”
Alexei furrowed his brows, noticing the change in her expression. “What happened to my brother?”
Barbara took a deep breath and began explaining everything that had happened: the White Magician’s true identity, her taking over SCYTHE HQ, her ultimatum to Wonder Girl, and finally, Anatoly Abromivici’s sacrifice to save them.
*************************************************************
Somewhere in Gateway…
With the loss of SCYTHE and their headquarters, the surviving agents didn’t have the necessary support from the intel agents in the Black Room to fight off against the newly revived Red Centipedes, now grown more powerful with the help of the escaped convicts, more than happy to exact revenge.
With the bridges closed off, SCYTHE’s weakened state, and Wonder Woman being presumed dead, the city had been thrown into chaos. Streets filled with criminals and looters taking full advantage of what had happened, stealing anything from everyone across the island.
Red Centipedes roamed the streets with military trucks, taken from SCYTHE after their HQ had fallen to the White Magician’s control, making full use of their hardware to hunt down any surviving agent, delivering the message that they were the new peacekeepers of Gateway.
“Let me go!”
A woman, a worker from Taco Whiz, was being dragged from the streets by a group of RedCent grunts. Taken into a nearby corner, the RedCent dropped the worker on the dirty ground. Their eyes had terrible intentions behind them.
“Come on, man,” one RedCent grunt said from behind to his buddy. “We are supposed to find those SCYTHE fuckers, not mess around.”
“You’re serious?” The buddy looked at his friend like he was crazy. “We’ve been locked for months in SCYTHE’s cells; we can have a few minutes of fun.”
“Please! Don’t do this!” The woman screamed, tears falling from her eyes, afraid of what they would do to her. She tried to stand up and run away but was quickly pushed back down on the pavement.
The RedCent approached the woman, who crawled away from them in fear. “Come on, girl, I just need to release all this stress after being locked up for so long!” He proclaimed, giving the woman a leery look before turning to his buddy. “Hey man, I can share! Maybe we can get someone else from the street-”
The RedCent stopped speaking, catching his breath for a moment after he saw his buddy lying on the ground face first, knocked out cold. Looking up, his eyes widened in shock when he saw the person standing before him. “You’re… you were supposed to be dead?!”
Covered in heavy bandages and wrecked NIGHT armor, and carrying a mace in his hand and a pissed-off look on his face, Commander Hector Hall stood before the RedCent grunt like a dark spectre coming back to life. Kicking the knocked-out buddy aside, the Commander looked between the grunt and the terrified woman before he hardened his glare at the RedCent.
“Stay back!” The RedCent grunt aimed his weapon, hands shaking in fear. “I said stay the fuck back-”
In a moment, Hall moved at such a speed he looked like a blur, cutting the distance between the two. With one swing of his mace, he smacked him squarely on the head, sending him to the ground.
Hall turned to the woman he saved, who looked at him in horror. “Go… get to safety…”
Without another word, the woman ran toward the exit and into the streets, away from the alley. Now alone with the two RedCents, Hall grabbed the knocked-out buddy and woke him up, making the man see the bandaged-up Hall looking down at him with hateful eyes.
“You… I want you to send your boss a message…” Hall began, making him face the Commander. “Tell the White Magician, Circe, that I am declaring war on her and on anyone who stands by her side.” He turned and walked up to the other grunt, who was crawling away from the Commander in fear, grabbing his bleeding head. He begged for his life, but Hall ignored his pleas. “And this, this is for my men that you Centipedes have killed…”
He lifted his bloody mace and brought it down like a hammer on the begging Red Centipede as his buddy looked on in horror. He lifted it up once more to reveal the man’s head was crushed like a watermelon.
Commander Hector Hall was still alive, and as long as he was still breathing, SCYTHE would remain standing to fight against all threats against Gateway City.
*************************************************************

Wonder Women Vol 3.

Previous Issue <> Next Issue

This is my first time posting so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense or I’m trauma dumping a lot also a couple trigger warnings, I’m not sure where to start off with. Me and my mom used to be pretty close I’d say up until I started high school. Middle of eighth grade I moved to a new city so I was back to trying to find some friends. I’ve been moving around since I could remember, I used to live in Germany where I moved twice, then moved to the US around the Silicon Valley, moved again, and again and again now we’re here. I wouldn’t be explaining this part of my life if I felt like it didn’t have any weight in this situation. Middle school I found a friend, me and her got pretty close, stuck through Covid together. My mom hated her and not even two years into our friendship my mom started accusing her of stealing from us, being a bad influence and overall just being trashy. Her parents were in the middle of getting a divorce and she had a lot of things going on in her life. I dyed my hair red during this time too while being friends with her, she probably was a huge influence on me but that’s also because it was covid and I was bored and who doesn’t start irrationally bleaching and coloring their hair at 14. I think my mom thought she was a bad influence on that part too because she's the one that first started off coloring her hair like purple and pink etc. My mom never of course said anything to my friend but she made sure I would hear of her disapproval concerning her bad influence in my life. I stopped being friends with her freshman year since my parents banned me from having her over or going to her house, I couldn’t drive neither could she and hanging out at each other's houses was pretty much what we did 80% of the time. I was so frustrated and felt trapped because the only friend I really cared about was someone I wasn’t allowed to associate with anymore. I told her I was done being friends with her over text and blamed it on me just being in a dark place and breaking it off. She was confused and called me a week later about something personal but I just dismissed it. Granted there were other things going on in our friendship but I felt terrible about it especially since her parents were going through that divorce and I just left during such a sensitive time. I hate to admit it but I felt so much better since I started making new friends quickly and started sitting with a new group the next day. Mostly guys and other two girls, it worked out fine for the next year. Junior year my grades started dropping so my parents got stricter, started taking my phone, looking through it, screen time etc. I felt like it was a huge invasion of privacy since my mom would look through my texts. Me and my mom also started arguing weekly about whatever it was but when I mean arguing I mean like full on yelling for two hours down in the living room with no stopping. I can’t do anything about it because whenever I say something remotely disproving her so called “facts'' since she always speaks with so much authority on subjects she wouldn’t even know about I’m the one that has to quiet down from my fathers perspective, and I know this will be mostly about my mom but me and my dad have always been close even when we’re fighting within a week we at least make it up. We play the same sports, have the same humor etc. I understand this might look like us disregarding my mom and I know she cares and loves me yet in certain circumstances she doesn’t show it so of course there’s going to be reasons as to why I’m closer with my dad than her. For example I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in 4th grade and of course I wouldn’t expect anyone to know that when you're low you need carbs or when your blood sugar is high you need insulin but my mom to this day still does not understand it. I wouldn’t care even if it’s my friend but as my mom you take so much authority over my life and who I can’t or can hangout with but you don’t know the basics of how I have to manage my life behind closed doors in the house that you and I live in every day. That might sound overdramatic but it’s just something I think about. Also growing up, I’m an only child by the way, I would always play by myself whenever we went on vacation for example to the beach etc. it was always my dad that came and played with me in the sand while at sharing his time with me and my mom so my mom wouldn’t gets upset over him leaving her to go play with me. Even now I notice how my mom would always make snarky comments regarding how my dad always treats me like a princess and cares too much over me. Anywho, since I know this is getting pretty long I’ll try to sum it up a bit more. I started liking one of the guys from that group, I would text him on a daily basis just about whatever. We were pretty awkward in person since I’ve never really talked to that many guys and I don’t think he really had much experience either so we stuck it to mostly phones, everyone else in the group also didn’t know. Once my mom went through my phone on one occasion that night, because she would collect it on some nights and read through my messages in bed she saw one message from that guy calling my mom bipolar and me responding with something like it’s fine like I still love her she freaked out. She told me to never talk to him again and that I’m a brat for talking about my family issues outside of the family etc. I honestly had nobody to talk to. The other two girls in the group didn’t really talk to me at this time, I later became really close with one of them though more on that later and I had no other friends in that town so it was really only him. He had a plethora of family issues that I couldn’t even imagine so I felt like he understood where I was coming from at times better than other kids with American parents. Not sure I mentioned but my parents were both born in Eastern Europe and grew up during heavy communism so that definitely affected them and their parenting style. Anywho, my mom sent me a paragraph to show to him, basically telling him to never talk to me again and that he has to apologize to her etc. After a couple months I think he took me out on a date. I'm not sure what to make of it since it was pretty casual. We just got ice cream. I told my parents that he was only picking me up so we could meet with the rest of the group when of course we’re not. The rest of the guys saw us downtown and found out about it. That kinda really sucked since I’m pretty sure one of them liked me so he got really mad and it kind of ruined the group dynamic. The guy I liked stopped talking to me a couple months in since I couldn’t really do much or go anywhere and dating as a result would be hard so he stopped really talking to me it was pretty off and on since I would get mad stop texting him and then he would try to get back texting at me and once I showed him I cared he’d stop. I was so mad at him and the situation that I refrained myself from talking to him, two weeks later he killed himself. I found out because one of the guys from the group faced me and told me. I went downstairs and started crying and formed the sentences explaining it the best I could, pushing a couple words out at a time. In that very moment I felt so hurt and vulnerable by what just happened my mom responded by just looking at me and saying that he had it coming for him since he probably vaped and drank. My dad ran downstairs since he probably heard me crying and the first thing he did without asking me any questions was hug me. For the first time ever he told my mom to shut up since her trying to ask me questions about how he died just made me sob harder. Over the next week my mom was pretty lenient about letting me go out. The next week she started asking what happened to him. Me and my mom were not close at all anymore at this time. You see mothers and daughters talking about guys or what dress they’re gonna wear to the prom etc in the movies. Me and my mom are not like that. On top of that I was overwhelmed with what happened and as someone does overthinking how things could have played out differently. Anyway I refused to tell her anything saying I was too uncomfortable and over the course of the next couple months of senior year she would get progressively mad and irritated at me to the point of arguing and yelling at me for not trusting her and telling her how he killed himself. I to this day told her nothing but she stopped asking. I don’t know how my dad feeds into this since he’s always so Switzerland about everything when I know I’m right in an argument between me and my mom, however when my mom has leverage he takes her side. Anyway, the beginning of senior year was rough. I hated being in that house and really started seriously considering the only options I felt like I had at the time. I started becoming closer to that one girl from the group earlier, spoiler alert my mom strongly dislikes her now too since she’s a liar and since she’s close with her mom but not her dad that means her parents are having marital issues and therefore her mom is a cheater etc. I don’t understand how she goes from one topic to another and sorts these things into her head. She’s my only friend that I’m really close with and I have been for the past these almost two so hearing this is very disheartening since I’m sending off senior year and I can’t do this again being so close to the end of the year. I forgot to mention but during homecoming I drank for the first time and I had one of my guy friends with his girlfriend and that friend that I’m not friends with drop me off. When he dropped me off he didn’t wave to my mom so she now thinks he’s a bastard in her words and disgusting and she deserves and apology for all the times he’s been over to my house etc. which I honestly think is insane because how do you always have so many issues over my friends and why are you so obsessed with 16 year olds, like you really have beef with high school kids as a 50 year old. Anyway the reason I bring that up is because I invited him over a couple weeks ago for some drills to help one of my other friends with mma since me and him used to wrestle and my mom got mad despite him not being there for me but for my other friends benefit. I’m not sure if this makes any sense. I'm trying to explain the issue best I can without saying too much. Anyway my friend, the one that I’m friends with now, the girl and that guy from the group that didn’t wave at my mom are both Latin so my mom started calling them cheaters and dirty etc when they had nothing to do with anything. This argument spiraled over me asking my mom if I can have a sleepover with those friends since we want to bring a new series on Netflix. Also during prom I asked my parents for 10 dollars since I already had twenty in my account and I wanted to buy hair stuff for prom. They gave me the 10 and I said how I was going to catch a ride with friend A so that when friend A picked me up but friend B that I did not mention in the plan picked me up my parents started calling and texting me. To give some background friend B has been close with me since freshman year, probably the only friend my mom has liked and also the only white friend I have not sure if that has anything do with it but there’s that. She’s really sweet and has been invited over multiple times to my house by my parents, they do really like her. Anywho yet since I didn’t mention that friend B was driving the car since my parents didn’t recognize the new car and knew it wasn’t friend A driving yet assumed it was indeed friend B but since I didn’t mention that they took all the money I had in my account which was only 30 dollars but it was what I needed to get my nails and hair gloss and hair spray for prom, I just started breaking down in the middle of target. I was so excited to get my stick on nails etc since I couldn’t afford to get the acrylics since I was paying for all my prom stuff for the most part. By the way I know that the 10 dollars was initially there so I understand taking away that but the other 20 I made selling my clothes on mercari and I had nothing else like no other cash nothing that was the money I worked on to get my prom stuff. It was mostly my dad actually that got mad at this point taking my money etc and than following a got a text from my mom saying I got what I was coming for by acting the way I have been. There were 3 others with me while I was at target so having three of my friends see me breakdown from me only having 14 cents left in my account was so humiliating. I ended up looking great at prom neither less so don’t even worry about that, my hair looked great and I found some old stick-ons in my laundry room and painted them white lol a couple of them popped off during prom but whatever. This has been really long and thanks to whoever spent their time reading through all of this I’m sorry if the read is a bit of a struggle but I just don’t know what to think or do of this situation. Keep in mind I’m 18 now, never have had a boyfriend, never have do anything, kissed, even held hands romantically etc. it’s one thing you know to not care about any of that but the thing is I do and I want to experience being a teenager and going out and going on dates and not worry about my mom flipping out on one of my friends. While we were in Italy one of the tour guys told her to move on the bus to make more room for others and she started cussing him out telling him to f himself etc for telling her a paying customer where to sit. Everyone started staring at us. I did not want to be there. I just kept my head down the entire time and didn’t really talk to my mom out of embarrassment for the next two days. Also after that prom incident I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere after as a result of go to friend B's birthday bash the next day so my mom texted her without my knowledge and told her not to tell me about how I’ve been acting up and one day I’ll learn when I’m her age but it will be too late and that I don’t know what I’m doing and finishing off my apologizing on my part for my behavior and I’m the reason why I can’t go to her party. Which I find so infuriating because one of the main reasons why I don’t tell my mom anything about my personal life is because I simply don’t want her to have that control of knowing what my life is like, I probably tell the teacher I TA for more than my own biological mother. The fact that she preached family issues in the family so heavily and that you should never talk about issues to others yet goes behind my back and tells my friend that my indecent behavior is the reason why I can’t go is so beyond me because where did your ideals go that you preached so heavily about. Every time I’m around my mom especially when she has her flares of anger I just start shaking like you know when you drink something with a lot of caffeine in the morning and you don’t eat anything so mid way through the day you just start getting jittery and anxious, kind of like that. Ok I think I’m done anyway thank you for tuning in cause I really have to start studying for human geo, thanks for reading up until here 🙂.