Throwaway account for this one.
I moved to Japan recently and have a very high income. I've changed my tax residency to Japan and all that.
Anyways, I was told by my wife (JP) that ふるさと納税 is THE THING to do in Japan. I read up on it, and it seems that, basically you get equal amount of tax deducted based on your donation to a particular 自治体 - 2000 yen.
Now, I did the math using Japanese online calculators, as well as 年収早見表, and it seems that the upper limit for contribution room is absurdly high.
For example, according to this chart, if you earn 25M / yr, then your upper limit is 85万円 https://www.soumu.go.jp/main_content/000408217.pdf
For someone earning 50M / yr, then this calculator tells me it's about 220万円 :
https://furunavi.jp/deduction.aspx
For someone earning 100M / yr, then it's 430-450万円 ish as well.
That'll buy like 100kg of mangoes and 30kg of beef and 100kg of シャインマスカット from さとふる. You can essentially eat a whole year just on ふるさと納税..
Provided at that income level, you're paying almost 45-55% effective tax rate incl residence tax, but it's still a great deal.
Is this correct? That's some insane deal. Essentially I can get x00万円 worth of items for free? That's mad.
Thank you!

Manhattan Project B Reactor Tours The B Reactor National Historic Landmark, Richland Daily, 8:30a-12:30p Free
My Rad Art Lab After School Program Art Your Way, Pasco 4p $29/class, $99/mo (4 classes)
Columbia Basin College Annual Juried Student Art Show CBC, Pasco Thru June 6 7:30a-5p
SageFen Maker Fest II Red Lion Hotel & Conference Center, Pasco May 17-19 10-4p
The Sound of Music Vibe Music and Performing Arts Center May 17-18 Times vary
Auditions for Equivocation By Bill Cain The Richland Players, Richland May 19-20 6-9p
Poker Richland Community Center May 16-17 1p

Wednesday May 15

Classes
Whimsy Apothecary Candle Class Goose Ridge Estates, Richland 5:30-7:30p $65/non-mem
Fresh Pasta Class Layered Cake Artistry, Kennewick 5-7p $85
Cooking Classes - Summer Grilling Series-Grilled Mahi Mahi w/Peach Mango, Cilantro Lime Jasmine Rice, and Grilled Asparagus Red Mountain Kitchen, Kitchen 6-8:30p $Unk
Puzzle club Andventures Underground, Richland 11a
Games and Comedy
Bingo at Summer's Hub, Kennewick 5-7p
Game Night Live at Two Bits and a Bite, Richland 7-9p
Open Mic Night Tumbleweeds West, West Richland 5-8p
Sporting
Tri-Cities Dust Devils vs Hillsboro Hops Gesa Stadium, Pasco 1:30-5:30p $8-46
Music
Isolation Big Band with Carmichael Middle School Jazz Band The Emerald of Siam, Richland 6p
Jazz Jams at The Emerald The Emerald of Siam, Richland 6p-8p

Thursday May 16

Classes
Beginning Brush Lettering Workshop Philocaly Lingerie Boutique, Kennewick 7-9p $Unk
Paint your own Planter! Chills Froyo and Custard, Kennewick 6-8p
Events
Back-To-School Immunization Clinic by BFHD Kennewick Health District Mothership 2-6p
Hat Burning Workshop + Fundraiser for Alzheimer's Research Chandler Reach Estate, Benton City $85pp
Albariño Master Class Barnard Griffin, Richland 6:30-8:30p $35 non-mem
They Want Our Rhythm, but Not Our Blues: African American Innovation through Pop Culture Lecture Museum at Keewaydin 7p-8p Free
LIGO Science & Art Showcase LIGO Hanford Observatory, Richland 5-8p Free
Thursday Afternoon Book Club Richland Public Library 1:30-2:30p
Grandma Niesie's Storytime Adventures Underground, Richland 11a-12p
Games and Comedy
Geeks Who Drink The Emerald of Siam 7p
Tri-Trivia Night Summers Hub, Kennewick 6p
Solar Spirits Trivia and Taco Truck Solar Spirits Distillery & Tasting Room, Richland 6-8p
Game Night Live Round Table Pizza, Kennewick 5-7p
Mah-Jongg Richland Community Center 1-3:30p
Sporting
Tri-Cities Dust Devils vs Hillsboro Hops Gesa Stadium, Pasco 6:30-10p $8-46

Friday May 17

Classes
Intro Into Gelli Printing Bristle Art Gallery, Kennewick 1p $45
Events and Games
CBC Health Sciences Information Sessions Health Sciences Center, Richland 8a-2p
3rd Friday Dance Richland Community Center 1-3:45p $10pp
Solar Spirits Trivia and Taco Truck Solar Spirits Distillery & Tasting Room 6-8p
Trivia! with Heat Entertainment Tumbleweeds West, West Richland 7-10p
Third Fridays Columbia Gardens Wine & Artisan Village, Kennewick 4-8p Free
Card Show Night Edition at Summer's HUB of Kennewick Summers Hub, Kennewick 4-9p Free
Vinyasa Flow With Susie Red Jasper Studops 4:30-5:30p $20
Twist Clothing Company 15th Anniversary Fashion Show and Fundraiser Twist Clothing Co, Kennewick 5-8p $20
Wine and Mushroom Tasting with Chesed Farms Barnard Griffin Winery, Richland 6:30p $75non-mem
Book Club Richland Community Center 1-3p
Potluck Dinner Richland Community Center 4:30-6p
Music and Comedy
Gabriel Knutzen Goose Ridge Winery 5-7p
Jack Rothwell Tumbleweeds West, Richland 7-10p
Key Lewis Comedy Show Jokers Comedy Club, Richland 7:30-9p $12
Fallout The Branding Iron, Kennewick 9p-1:30a $5
Baduku and Bahuru Columbia Gardens Night Market, Kennewick 5-7p
Lost Ox Emerald of Siam, Richland 9p $10 cover
Stephanie Steele Pop/Jazz Trio Emerald of Siam, Richland 5-8p
Sporting
Tri-Cities Dust Devils vs Hillsboro Hops Gesa Stadium, Pasco 6:30-10p $8-46
Outdoor Fitness Class- ALL AGES WELCOME Southridge Sports & Events Complex, Kennewick 9:45-10-45a $7pp

Saturday May 18

Events
Petting Zoo/Hobby Farm Jostens Petting Zoo 10a $8
Puppies & Posies by Pronto Puppy Rescue Mac's Garden Center, Pasco 12-4p
Pasco Farmers Market Downtown Pasco, Lewis St 9-1p
Spring Market Vino Yasa Hedges Estate, Benton City 10a-12p
25th Anniversary Barrel Room Dinner Goose Ridge Estates, Richland 6-9p $200/nonmem
Farmer's Market Tour and Cooking Demo Ciao Trattoria, Pasco 9:45a-12:30p
FCSC/4-H Joint AM -PM Schooling Show Franklin County Saddle Club, Pasco Starts at 8a
Connie Hampton Connally, Conversation and Book Signing Barnes & Noble, Kennewick 12p
2024 Gentleman's Ride Richland 4-5p
Pokemon May League Challenge Casters, Richland 11a registration
Metaphysical Market Uptown Shopping Center, Richland 10a-4p
Classes
Paint your Partner Night Honeycomb Studio, Kennewick 6-8p $50pair
Paint your Pet Art YOUR Way, Pasco 6-8p $70
Paint & Craft night Anything Grows, Richland 5:30-8:30p
Special Topics In Pelvic Health - Gender Affirming Care, Hypermobility, and Nocturia Therapy Solutions, Richland 9a-4p
Mosaic Dragonfly Workshop Allied Arts Association: Gallery at the Park 1-3:30p $80pp
Music/Comedy
Dysfunctional Society / Pazzi Pazzi The Emerald of Siam, Richland 9p
Guitar Gathering Blackthorne Neighbourhood Pub, Kennewick 1-3p
Mia Lenay Summers Hub, Kennewick 5:30-7:30p
Karaoke Night Wine Social, Richland 8-11p
Mid-Columbia Symphony Concert "Young Artists & Joyful Voices", Mid-Columbia Mastersingers KHS AUditorium, Kennewick 7:30-9:30p $15-70
Key Lewis Comedy Show Jokers Comedy Club, Richland 7:30-9p $12
Jeff Davis at The Underground Taphouse The Underground Taphouse, Pasco 8-10p
Fallout The Branding Iron, Kennewick 9p-1:30a $5
Live Music with Keith Scott Rattlesnake Mountain Brewing Company, Richland 7-10p
Elaine Eagle The Emerald of Siam, Richland 5-8p
Sport
Tri-Cities Dust Devils vs Hillsboro Hops Gesa Stadium, Pasco 6:30-10p $8-46
Midget Mayhem Wrestling & Brawling LIVE Pasco Eagles 5-7p and 8-10p $Unk, but can you really put a price on a show as this?
2nd Annual St. Joseph's Legacy Golf Tournament Canyon Lakes Golf Course, Kennewick 11a check-in, 1p gun start $160/pp $600 team/4
Plyometrics, Agility, & Speed Training- ALL ATHLETES WELCOME Southridge Sports & Events Complex, Kennewick 10:45-11:45a $7p
UKI Gamble fun match Fetch Sam, Pasco 1p
Lifted Ecstatic Dance - Flower Child Edition with Jennifer Lifted Lotus Yoga 2-3:30p $5 donation
PFLAGS Walk and Roll 3k Chiawana Park, Pasco 10a-1p
Better Together Spring 2024 5K Celebration Howard Amon Park, RIchland 8a

Sunday 19

Classes
Spring Fling Charcuterie Workshop Elk Haven Winery, Pasco 1-3p $Unk
Nutrition 101 Class Natural Grocers, Kennewick Sundays, 1p FREE
Chef's Wine Pairing Dinner Monterosso's Italian Restauraunt, Richland 5:30p $86pp
Goat Yoga with Bumper and Bliss The Studio Bespoke, Richland 1p $30pp
Events
Yu-Gi-Oh! Casual Play Caterpillar Cafe, Richland 12-4p
Adopt a Pet Day! Summer's Hub, Kennewick 11a-3p
Spring Blooms Floral Workshop Muret-Gaston Wine Bar, Kennewick 3-6p $65
Tumbleweed Pet Vaccine and Microchip Event Horse Heaven Hills Pet Urgent Care, Kennewick 8a-2p
Canvas Blowout Sale! Crepe Haus + El Compadre Restaurant, Kennewick 1-5p
Pokemon Pre-Release Twilight Masquerade Adventures Underground, Richland 11:30a-2:30p $35pp
Sport
Tri-City Dust Devils vs. Hillsboro Hops Gesa Stadium, Pasco 6:30p-10p $8-$45
Music
JJ Ofrancia Howard Amon Park, Richland 1-4p
Dustin Stecker celebration show with The Van Dels and Ghost Motor, and Mad Ruby Ray's Golden Lion, Richland 5p $10pp

Monday 20

LGBTQIA+ Craft Social Richland Public Library 6:30-8:30p Free
Moving Mondays with Jo Miller Summer's Hub, Kennewick 5:30p7:30p
Beers & Bikes Night Summers Hub 5-8p
Geeks Who Drink Trivia Night Moonshot Brewing, Kennewick 6:30-9p
Open Mic Night The Emerald of Siam, Richland 7p-12a Free

Tuesday 21

Beers and Bike N' Bikes Summers Hub Tuesdays 5-8p
Bingo Night at Wine Social 6:30-8:30p
Trivia Night Parkade Bar & Grill 7-10p
Game Night Live Trivia Iconic Brewing, Richland 6-8p
Music-Live Solo Guitar Music! Peter Janson Emerald of Siam, Richland 6-8p
allevents.in and visittri-cities.com

I would like to send this letter to GameStop and I'm hoping you can help me make it the best it can be. Here goes...
Dear GameStop:
Keith Gill is a highly qualified and innovative financial expert who would be an excellent fit for the position of Chief Revenue Officer at GameStop. Here’s why:
1. Financial Acumen: Mr. Gill has a deep understanding of financial markets, instruments, and regulations, with a proven track record of making savvy investment decisions. His expertise would be invaluable in navigating GameStop's financial landscape.
2. Industry Insight: As a subject matter expert in GameStop’s financial performance, Mr. Gill has unique insight into the company's situation, market dynamics, and investor sentiment. This knowledge would enable him to make informed, strategic decisions as Chief Revenue Officer.
3. Visionary Leadership: Mr. Gill's bold and unconventional approach to investing and financial analysis would bring a fresh perspective to GameStop's leadership team. He would inspire innovative thinking and drive the company forward with his entrepreneurial spirit.
4. Community Engagement: Mr. Gill built a massive following online, brick by brick, demonstrating his ability to connect with gamers, investors, and the broader community. This skill would be essential in engaging with stakeholders, building brand loyalty, and fostering a positive corporate image.
5. Adaptability and Resilience: Mr. Gill has shown remarkable adaptability and resilience in the face of intense market volatility and scrutiny. These qualities would serve him well in navigating the fast-paced and ever-changing gaming industry.
6. Passion for Gaming: As an avid gamer himself, Mr. Gill understands the industry's nuances and is passionate about its growth and innovation. This enthusiasm would drive his decision-making and ensure that GameStop remains a leader in the gaming space.
In conclusion, Keith Gill's unique blend of financial expertise, industry insight, visionary leadership, community engagement, adaptability, and passion for gaming make him an ideal candidate for the position of Chief Revenue Officer at GameStop. Please consider creating this role for him and inviting him to be a part of your team. Thank you.
Sincerely,
M1ndbl0wn

This week hasn't been great, and today I got some truly rough news; a friend back home is not doing too well and is in the hospital. The good thing to report is, it seems like she will be all right, and it looks like I might be able to fly out and stay with her a bit when she gets back home. (Talk about good timing; my wife just switched jobs at the beginning of the month and we got her vacation-day payout from the old job today, which is enough to cover the cost of an unexpected cross-country trip!) And if you're a good-mental-energy-sending kind of person, this situation could use any and all positivity, so spare a good thought for us.
I have lots of good thoughts today for these people whose happy mail made today a lot more manageable for me!
u/Fancykiddens (x2) - Thanks for the beautiful birds-and-flowers foiled card, and the Shrimply the Best mini-card! (Where did you FIND all this great shrimp stuff, anyway?!)
u/isar-love (x2) - I had no idea when you shared the islands postcards for the Meta "Something that Starts with the First Letter of Your Name" challenge that they were, like, fabric! I have just been sitting here rubbing my Papua New Guinea map postcard because it is making me smile. And thank you for the Slovenian postcard, too - what a cute design (even if the L got a bit slighted, haha)!
u/KoreWrites - I don't know and I don't care how many copies of the Wild Animals of the World Emperor Penguins I get because there is no such thing as "enough" penguin mail, let alone "too many" penguin cards, SO THERE. I'm excited you got those sets at such a steal!
u/on1oman1ac - Wow, I love this postcard from Vietnam and hearing about your visit! I can't say that I have ever heard of a cooking class that incorporated a boat ride before, but I love the idea and I'm glad you got to enjoy it with your mom!
u/wabisabi_sf - Thank you for sending me happy mail from your getaway! I love this Greetings from Utah postcard and of course the National Postal Museum stamps!

Ok guys, I need your help. I'm a senior in college who was planning on applying this cycle. After talking to my premed advisor (I know I should take what they say with a grain of salt, but I thought she actually made some points), I'm very heavily considering two gap years.
NJ ORM Female
T20 undergrad, 3.8 cGPA, 3.7 sGPA. MCAT: 520 (128/131/129/132)
Clinical experience: 600 hours scribing in the ER
Research: 800 hours across 3 different labs (wet-lab and nutrition/pop health) with 1 publication
Miscellaneous: director of public health outreach organization, mix of volunteering and independent research (300 hrs), captain of a nationally ranked competitive collegiate dance team (1400 hours), non-clinical volunteering at harm reduction agency (200 hours), pharmacy technician (200 hours), founded undergrad publication related to medical humanities (250 hours), shadowing (50 hours)
4 LORs: 1 science professor (probs pretty generic), 1 post-doc/PI from independent research/EC (very strong), 1 physician i scribe for (glowing bc i wrote it lmao), 1 humanities professor who is also my advisor (strong)
Spending gap year as a CRC at big research hospital in a city. lots of patient interaction compared to desk work.
pros of taking 2 years:

1. I have no experience with direct patient interaction. With scribing, at my hospital the scribes rarely even follow the doctors into the patient rooms. While I've learned so much from the physicians I work closely with and I've seen alot, I haven't actually interacted with a single patient. While writing my personal statement, I began to wonder, wouldn't admissions committees see this as a glorified shadowing/passive experience? Shouldn't I be writing about instances in which I, directly, interacted with a patient and how that interaction confirmed my love for medicine? Of course i can lowkey bullshit on my primary and secondary but it feels so ingenuine idk
   
2. Next year, i have a job lined up that WILL provide me with that direct patient experience. I'll be running patient intake visits alone, taking vitals, collecting cheek and nasal swabs, explaining the study, consenting patients, etc. I think there will be a lot to talk about from this experience. I also will work very closely with my PI, as I am the only CRC in her lab, and would get a letter from her. If I were to take this second year, I'd also volunteer, continue my independent research, etc.
   
3. I want to open as many doors as possible for myself. Of course I'd like to be able to shoot my shot at a few T20s. More importantly, I want to be able to go to a school in a location I like and at a program I feel is a good fit, bc this is four whole years of my life. Taking an extra year off for the potential of having more options feels like a small price to pay. And even if I end up at school in a location I don't like, at least I got to spend an extra year in the city.
   
4. time to travel, explore hobbies, gain more life experience and mature, chill
   

concerns about taking 2 years:
mainly pushing everything back a year, potentially being bored at the job and feeling stuck in a purgatory/waiting period, forgetting how to study from all the time off, etc.
I was completely ready to apply, so this is such a last minute time to be making a decision like this and I am confuseddddd. I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions! Thank you in advance!

my boss enlists me in hiding his multiple affairs from his wife
Originally posted to Ask A Manager
TRIGGER WARNING: infidelity, abuse of authority
Original Post Jan 30, 2017
My boss is having multiple affairs. I am his assistant, so I know about all his visitors and his schedule. He is married, but he often has visits from two different women, and he outright told me to never tell his wife about them. When either of them visit, he locks his door and tells me he is not to be disturbed. This happens almost weekly.
He sometimes asks me to book local hotel rooms for an hour or an afternoon, and he sometimes buys jewelry and flowers for the two women he sees regularly. I know this because he sends me out to pick up the jewelry (which I later see them wearing) or asks me to have the flowers sent to them. He never does anything like this for his wife. One of the women just had a baby who is named after my boss and has his surname.
One time, his wife showed up for a surprise visit to take him out to lunch, and he directed me to lie that the woman who was in his office was there for a job interview. He also submits expenses from his business trips (where he has traveled alone) and I have to re-calculate everything because he has upgraded the company-provided hotel room to a better one on his personal credit card and bought breakfast for more than one person the next morning. When this happens, he tells me he had “company.” There was also an incident where he came to work panicked because he said he accidentally used his company credit card at a strip club. He sent me to retrieve it and pay his tab with cash, but the address he sent me to was actually a massage parlor.
Normally I honestly don’t care what people do in their own private lives, but I hate that I’m part of his lies to his wife. She is a nice person and she is dealing with a heart condition that just required surgery. I know they don’t have an open relationship because my boss lies to her and also directs me to lie to her about his actions. He says she can never know. I get sick whenever I think about what he is doing. I know a way I can out him to his wife anonymously. Do you think I should let her know, or is this none of my business and I need to stay out of it?
Update March 9, 2017
Two days after you published my letter, my boss was served with divorce papers here at work. His wife publicly outed his affairs, and she sent copies of emails and text messages sent between him and the two women he was having affairs with, as well as one of the escorts he was seeing regularly, to some people here at our office (including me), his relatives, and some of their friends. She also sent these to the two women and the escort, and some of their relatives and colleagues at work. The texts and emails prove that all three of them not only knew he was married but that he was seeing other women besides each one of them. They also include his acknowledgement he fathered a child outside of his marriage and evidence he used funds from the joint account and his wife’s pay to spend money on them, as well as for the random women he cheated with when he was out of town on business.
His wife has filed alienation of affection lawsuits against the two women and the escort he was cheating with regularly. All of three of them kept calling and coming to see him here at work to confront him after they were outed to people and served with the lawsuit papers, and I heard them talking (sometimes yelling) about it each time and him saying his wife moved out the day he was served with divorce papers and he has no way to contact except through her lawyer (hey have no children and apparently she has cut all contact).
I played dumb the entire time and no one, including his wife, has accused me of knowing anything or asked me if I did.
Before all of this happened, after reading your response and the responses in the comments, I decided to seriously start looking for another job. The same week my letter was published, there was an opening inside my company for a receptionist in a different division. The company usually posts jobs internally before they look externally, and since I’m classified as admin and the posting is for an administrative position, I didn’t have to apply and could just put in for a transfer.
They gave it to me, and I have been in my new job for two weeks now. I love it so far. I spend all day on the phone with people or talking with people who have come in to see or meet with my colleagues. The division has over 100 people, so while I have a screen where I can search for people by name and receive memos and things through email, I don’t have a computer that I am stuck staring at for hours a day. It’s definitely not for everyone but I love dealing with people all day and having no other responsibilities or a mountain of tasks or paperwork to do. My new colleagues have been welcoming and while everyone is talking about what is going on with my boss, no one has brought me into the drama and it only gets talked about around me the same as it would any other person. I don’t engage in any gossip and I certainly don’t talk about what I know, even though no one has asked.
I now have set hours, don’t ever have to work outside of those hours (no overtime or weekends or holidays) and no company cell phone. Since all my work involves dealing with people during working hours at work, I couldn’t do work at home even if I wanted to. Work is now separate from home, and overall I am much more relaxed because I have a clear line between working and not working and I don’t have to deal with my boss and his drama any more.
Thank you for your response to my question and to all the people who were supportive in the comments. I felt better knowing my feelings were valid and I wasn’t overreacting or wrong to be upset.
(Also there was some speculation in the comments about whether my boss could be engaging in some kind of embezzlement or falsifying because he had me separating expenses. There was nothing like that going on. The company has a policy where they will reimburse business expenses put on personal debit or credit cards. Non-work expenses are not allowed to be on company cards. So if the company paid for a hotel room when my boss traveled on business and he upgraded to a better room, the company would only reimburse or pay the original room price and he would have to pay for the rest of the upgrade. I would separate personal and work expenses before submitting them. This is in line with the company handbook and everyone always does it this way. There were no issues with him or me because of it. As for him using the company credit card at the massage parlor, they are legal where we are and since he had the charges reversed the same day and submitted proof of the reversal, the company never had an issue because he followed policy and hadn’t used the card for anything illegal.)
Final Update Oct 20, 2017
My former boss was fired. His wife outed a fourth woman for sleeping with him, same as the others. She works here. Having an affair with a subordinate and the multiple yelling matches with the other three women here at the office was enough to get him fired. The fourth woman was married (unlike the other three) and her husband filed for divorce after she was outed. She took job somewhere else but left amicably and was not fired like my former boss was. At least two of the women his wife was suing are settling with her to avoid it going to trial. The yelling matches he was having made it clear she wasn’t using the lawsuits as a bargaining chip and would not drop them in exchange for stuff from him.
Now that both he and the woman from here that he was having an affair with are gone, things have calmed down. No one has mentioned the affair in weeks and everything here is boring again. I don’t mind the lack of gossip and am still enjoying my new job and great colleagues. I got a small bonus at my yearly review because my boss was so happy with my work. I love my new colleagues and they have been nothing but welcoming to me.
(Also there was speculation in the comments in my first update about whether his wife outed the escort for her affair or being an escort. The answer is both. I don’t agree with her actions but I empathize with how much pain the affairs have caused her.)
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA29329323
Me 25M grew up with parents 48F and 52M who had an open marriage it sort of messed me up and my parents wants to know why I had not spoken to them in almost four years.
Originally posted to relationship_advice
Previous BoRU posted by u/-bonita_applebum**
TRIGGER WARNING: depression, child neglect, mentions of bullying
While this was posted before, it has never been posted with the final update
Original Post July 31, 2021
I found out when I was around 12 that my parents liked to play around if you can call it that I did not get until I was around 14 what that really meant.
Anyways I kept my mouth shut and focused on myself and moved out when I was 18 and we have barely spoken since.
I ended up becoming very insecure I struggeled when it came to dating and girls and was alone for most of my teens, mom and dad was this perfect couple that was well liked by everyone.
All I can remember is how alone I felt during that time and was too afraid to speak to my parents about how I had it, they were always smiling and seemed to have the perfect marriage while they saw other people while I felt alone and miserable.
They used to go on weekend trips and was alone for many weekends and they rarely brought me along for vacations and I ended up being on my own when they did as well.
I struggle with depression and started seeing a therapist and are on antidepresseants right now, I just felt like I did not matter to my parents at all and see no real reason for why I should talk to them now.
I have not celebrated christmas with them or not been at home since I was 19 because I honestly have nothing but bad memories from living with them I just felt like I was in the way.
Not sure what I should do here my emotions are all over the place I don't think they know I struggle with depression.
Update Aug 4, 2021
I tried posting this earlier but yeah some other things have also happened so wanted to add that as well.
I dedided to write a letter but ended with me using that letter as reference to what I wanted to say to them instead.
I wrote the letter and actually just planned to drop in in their mailbox and just let them read it.
But honestly after so many years I needed to have the conversation with them so I did.
​
So I went home and surprise surprise dad and mom had a friend over, the woman who I ran into a few days ago let's call her Claire.
They were just sitting in the living room just talking I asked Claire politely to leave because I need to speak to my parents she said sure and she left, my parents understood I had something discuss and they did not argue.
​
Apperantly they were talking about me and Claire actually came over because she was worried about me after I basiclly ignored her the other day when I ran into her.
​
I sat down with my parents had the letter I had written and they understood I had a lot to say.
​
The whole thing was weird I sounded like a prosecutor trying to convince a jury of all my parents wrongdoings, it ended up being 40 minute indictment of my parents.
​
I went through all of it how alone I felt, me struggeling with depression, me seeing a therapist, on anti depresseants, me feeling since I was 11 that was always in the way, that I never mattered to them and that other people were always more important.
​
How Claire who was 25 the same age I am now when she started hanging around with you actually gave more of a damn than you did.
How you (dad) yelled at me when I messed up the settings on the dishwasher while you were away, I was 11 and did not know how it worked and that I offered to wash them by hand which I did.
​
I was bullied in school and was socially ackward, had no friends and was always alone both at school and at home.
​
I was 11 and had to deal with being alone on the weekends even christmas was weird and ackward I remember seeing families light christmas trees in our street seeing parents and their kids.
But you guys went to your christmas get togethers and only on christmas day were you home and I honestly felt alone then as well.
​
I have no such memories or felt any belonging whatsoever and now you keep asking me why I have barely spoken to you for four years ?
​
I don't know you and you never bothered to get to know me, other people were always more important.
​
When I found out and understood what you guys were into, I was even more mad why was that more important than me ??
​
How is it fair that you are happy and I am alone and miserable, it's not fair because you did this to me.
​
I have spent my childhood alone, my teens alone and now my twenties alone so far I never had a girlfriend because I struggle to trust people and have no idea how to get close to people.
​
You shared a picture of me on FB one of the few of us together from when I was a kid, saw Claire and your other GF comment on it how cute I was and what a great family we were.
Notice anything on those pictures ? I never smiled.
​
Why did you even have me to begin with clearly I was just a prop for you to show off to let others know what great parents you were, your FB profiles makes me sick to honest.
​
Dad wanted to say something and mom just looked stunned and she had tears, I just got up and left and that was that.
​
I never yelled or called them any names I was surprisingly calm I honestly felt numb walking out but also a lot lighter.
I left my sparekey to their place and just walked back to my place.
Mom has been texting and tried callin me I think they are both struggeling on what to say to me, I just demanded they remove the pictures of me from their FB which they did.
They do not get to pretend to the world like they were great parents anymore I refuse to be a prop.
So that's the update still gonna continue with my therapists or may need to find a new one.

NEW UPDATE

Update 2 - rareddit Oct 11, 2021
Just wanted to give an update and thank you for all the comments, I decided to switch therapists and the new one is better than my old one.
Still dealing with anxiety and feel very lonely sometimes, but trying to get through the day.
Had a long talk with mom who actually decided to stop by my place, she and I talked for almost three hours.
I decided not to berate her and instead just being honest and explain how my life has been and how I am dealing with a bunch of things.
It was as honest as it could get with me basiclly just sharing how I was doing, mom did not realize how bad it was and she just gave me a hug I don't know why but that helped, she was not sure what to say about everything and I don't really blame her.
She said come home for awhile especially at christmas you don't have to sit in your apartment alone, told her I would think about it.
Mom looks like she finally realized that I had been in pain for quite some time and her recognizing that is I guess what I really wanted like she finally got it.
So yeah progress I guess still not sure what the future holds, still feel very apathethic and my anxiety can get the best of me sometimes and have had days I feel very low like nothing matters anymore.
But I guess it's a step in the right direction
​THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA999333
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
I(29F) made my step-father(50M) an outsider at my wedding that he paid for. I need to make it up to him but I dont know how.
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: child abandonment, emotional manipulation, possible exploitation
Original Post: May 6, 2024
I ruined the memory of the best day of my life because I was too blind to see what I was doing was hurting one of the most important people in my life. I got married 2 months ago to the love of my life, and he finally opened my eyes to what I did. He showed me the perspective I didnt understand.
When I was 5 my father left us. Just disappeared without trace. He and my mom were already separated by that point, but he was still living with us. 3 years later my mom started dating Rob. He was quite a bit younger than she was, I belive she was 34 and he was 26. Today he is very wealthy (he wasnt when he met my mom) and he treats my mother like a queen. Whenever she is around him she looks like the happiest person in the world. My younger sister looks a lot like me and mom, but her personality is for sure a reflexion of her dad, always telling jokes and being just a nice person all around while me and my mom are more serious and cold.
As I got older, Rob became more present in my life he got married to my mom and she got pregnant. But it was still pretty weird seeing him as a father figure mostly because people would asume he was my brother all the time. When I was in HS, I was dating this boy, and he broke up with me at my friends house. My mom was on a night shift and I had to ask Rob to pick me up. When he did, he conforted me, took me to get ice cream, and when we got home he told me something like this (without knowing what happened) "whoever made you sad doesnt understand that you are the best girl in the world, and its their loss. Dont beat yourself up because other people are too stupid to see it"
I just said to him "I wish you were my dad". He smiled and said that he wished that too, and he could be if I wanted to. We left it at that. I never called him dad. But from that point foward I saw him as a father and I think he knows it.
I finally reconected to my biological father about an year ago. It happened because I got engaged. When I came to my mom's house one day, he was there and I couldnt even recongnise him. He was way thiner than he was when I was a kid. He struggled for years with depression and substance abuse. My mom and Rob actually helped him get clean and they even paid for his stay at a great reabilitation center. They decided together that it was time for me to finally meet him again.
I dont want to explore much on how this was, but all I have to say is that im glad to have him back in my life and im glad for being able to help him heal. He sufered a lot, he got lost. But now he is at least trying.
Rob and my mother payed for everything at my wedding, and everything was amaizing. The church was beautiful, my husband looked amaizing. The one mistake I made: I chose my biological father over Rob. I chose the man that did abandon me for over 20 years over the one the took me as his own and gave me everything he could when he didnt have to. I chose the man that broke my mothers heart over the one that saved her. I dont know why I did what I did. Looking back on it I feel so fucking stupid. My dad didnt deserve to walk me down the aisle. My dad dint deserve to be in all the pictures with my mom and my husbands parents. It should have been Rob.
I dont know, I think I was compensating for the time lost with my dad. Everything was still so fresh with him. I was helping him out, he talked to me everyday, I felt like he deserved to be back in my life.
When we were deciding who would give speeches, we had to cut some because it was just too many and me and my husband didnt really like the idea of hearing speeches for and hour and a half. So we decided for 5 people each. When I gave the list to my husband he even asked "no Rob?" And I said "yeah, my mom is already doing one". The others I chose were 2 of my bridesmaids, my mom, my sister (she really pushed for it) and, again, my dad. My husband said I should reconsider, He even thought of giving up one of his to put Rob in. I said it was fine, he didnt need to do that. My whole thinking when doing this was that Rob has my sister. He will have his moment. This was the only chance my dad had.
But I went too far. I completly cut him out of the party basically. If you look at the photos it doesnt even look like he went. My mom looks like she is faking a smile in half the pictures. I dont have a single picture with him. He only apears in group pictures, and some with my husband.
I only realised all of this when I texted Rob 2 days ago, asking him about a gift im giving my husbands for his birthday. He anwsered. Then asked about my car that is with a mecanic friend of his. He awnsered. Then I asked him something about my insurance. He did not anwser. A little over an hour later my mom called me. She just said "do you have no shame? Do you not understand what you did?" I just listend and she told me not to talk to Rob for now. I was just so fucking confused. I got home and told my husband and he just said that he knows what she is referencing but he will talk to her first.
Later, he showed me the wedding photos, he went step by step on everything I have listed here. He talked calmly, and broke it down for me. By the end I was crying so much that I had a headache. What an inconsiderate idiot I am. He told me that he and my mom didnt tell me anything before the party because Rob asked them not to. He understood that it was important for me for my father to be a big part of this day and when they protested he said that they should not make me worry about these small things.
I dont know what changed from before the party to now. My mom only tells me that he needs a bit of time and that he will talk to me soon. My husband keeps telling me that I made a mistake but Rob will be understanding and will forgive me. And I know that he will. He 100% has already forgiven me. He probably felt something when I was texting him that day that broke him down. I dont know what I said to trigger him at that moment, but also it doesnt really matter. I did the real damage at the party probably since he apeared to be fine with everything else before it (It was not fine by any means)
I have to make it up to him. I dont know how but I just do. I guess im just writing this here because im a little lost. Im too ashamed to talk about it with anyone else I know apart from my mom and husband. She doesnt tell me anything and my husband keeps insiting that everything will be fine and for me not to worry too much about it. And he is probably right but I feel like me not worrying about this is just being incosiderate to Rob again. I have to worry. I just dont know what to do.
Im now at work, and the only thing I can think about is this. Nothing else matters to me right now.
If someone has any kind of idea of how I can make it up to him I would greatly appreciate it.
Edit: Literally 40 minutes after I uploaded this, my mom texted me saying that Rob wants to speak to me tonight.
Relevant Comments
OOP on the situation of her insurance and Rob

OOP: Actually, Rob does not pay for my insurance. He only helped me set it up. And this is not about money at all, I make more than enough money and my husband is also very well off. Rob and my mom paid for the wedding because they wanted to. They told me it would be their gift for me and they gave me the money to use it on the wedding. My husbands family gave us a sum to help pay for our new house.
But your comment made me realise that this might be the problem, he might think im using him for money. That just breaks my heart. I do not want his money. I would happly take myself out of the my mom's will and his (if he has me in it, which he probably does), if it means I can fix this.
Also, he was not rich at all when he met my mom. He became successful after their marriage. Just to clarify.

OOP on why she didn’t plan the wedding photos ahead of time

OOP: My plan was that I wanted spontanious pictures and the photographer had to be changed last minute. In my head it worked out fine, what I wanted was to have the "important" pictures taken early, bridesmades, groomsman and family and later on have just spontanious pictures.
It was something I was too stuck on, this notion of "wasting time" doing pictures, speaches, etc.
But that was such dumb thinking. Thats what wedding are for.
At the end of the day though, everything went great apart from this disastrous oversight of mine.

Top Comments
RevolutionaryHat8988: I want to hug Rob. We all need a Rob in our lives.
Deleted Commenter: You’re almost 30 and needed all of this pointed out to you?
You made multiple conscious choices to exclude Rob from your wedding and only cared after you brought up an issue with your insurance: another thing he helped to pay for.
At your age you should know that choices have consequences.
I’m not sure there is anything you can do to make up for the choices you made.
 
Update May 9, 2024
First, I want to say some things before posting:

1. No, I am not Linda, my biological father isnt dying. Got a DM in here asking.
   
2. My sister is mostly just sad, not really mad at me. Just said she understood my situation but it still was really shitty seeing her father taken for granted and sad.
   
3. My mother is the person most pissed off at me at the moment. She is the only one that still does not talk to me. I mean she does, but not really.
   
4. For the people saying my husband and mother were idiots for not talking to me before: they agree and have told me this. My husband specially. Im not trying to shift blame here, just saying this for the people that talked about it
   

I was not going to post anything else on here. Not a fan of being called names and for people to keep saying that Rob should leave our family. Although Im well aware that I deserve most of everything that was said about me. The coments saying "the apple doesnt fall far from the tree" in regaards to me and my biological father were the ones that hurt the most as it is a fear of mine and the reason I dont drink much and dont use any drugs or anything that could be addictive. But seing how there are other things that could make us more similar than I realised is really frightening.
The day I posted here, my mom told me Rob wanted to speak to me and to go to their home after work. I went and waited for Rob to arrive. When he did my mom left us alone and he started off by saying that he was hurt by what I did at the wedding, that he knows he is not my father and that he would never try to force that on me, but that he at least thought he had some sort of importance in my life and seeing me just not give him any importance apart from talking to him when I need help with something made him realise that I do not view him the he thought I did.
At this point I was already crying so much that I couldnt even talk. I waited for him to finish and when he did I just told basically what you all saw in the post. That I fucked up bad, that I was incosiderate, that he is one of the most importante people in my life and that what I did was unforgivable.
The only reason I am posting it here is because of something during the conversation. He said something about my time at college and I went "but that was because..." and stoped. He asked me "what? because of what" I just said "nothing, you are right, that was my fault and I should have done better".
He was pretty angry at that point and he started to smile and we talked about me taking responsibility for my actions. Its something I am terrible at, it was an issue at my old job and since then I have been trying to be better at it but not very successfuly. He asked what changed and I told him about the post. Multiple people in the comments said that I dont take responsibility and yes, they read right through me. I showed it to him and reading the post calmed him down.
And no, he did not read the comments, just the ones I showed it to him, I would not let him see what some of you were saying about my mom.
So yes, he told me if I was going to say something else to thank you people for calling me out for not taking responsibility.
We talked about a lot of other things not related to the wedding. At the end I just told him that there were 2 things I wanted to say for him to take away from this conversation: I really did mean it when I was in HS and said that I wished he was my dad. Even now, with my biological dad in my life. I still feel that way. And the second thing is that I know that it will be hard for him to belive it right now because of what happened, but I will try to prove it to him for as long as it takes.
For those interested, I`ve been going to a therapist with my biological father once every 2 weeks since he came back, but I think I need one for myself so I will try to make it happen soon.
I want to thank 3 particular commenters that helped me.

1. The person that told me to take it slow with Rob and dmed me to stop looking at the thread cause I was spiraling.
   
2. The one that said: "People fuck up. Sometimes badly. But in a loving and caring family it's never the end of things as long as you are willing to own your mistakes."
   
3. And most importantly the best comment that was fair and gave me the right advice: "You are a spoilt, selfish, childish person. I don’t know that rob will forgive you but you can’t simply wait to see if he does. Write him a letter in which you fully own up to your awful behaviour. Do not say “I wish someone had stopped me” - that isn’t taking accountability for the way you treat people. With him and your mom paying for your wedding and your in laws paying for your house - you need to grow up and reflect very seriously on how you interact with everyone around you."
   

I guess the post served as the letter in the scenario, thank you, that was the slap in the face I needed to realise that I need to do a lot of work to improve myself and that the wedding was not its own thing, it was a reflection of who I am right now and I dont like what I see when I look in the mirror. Also, Rob more or less told me something similar, just not as a agressive, so this comment made me take his words as not him atacking me, but trying to help me understand my flaws.
Im not sure how I will make up for this. Rob is telling me that over time, just me being how I was before my biological father showed up will be enough for him. I dont doubt him but its not enough for me. I will live with what I did for the rest of my life. I will always remember.
The way I am now I actually need people to call me out for this kinds of things and its not fair to them. I will work on it, I have to. I will try my hardest to not ever hurt anyone I love this way again. Thankfully now I have someone in my husband to help me do that and call me out if needed. Thank you.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Well, I didn’t think things would come this far or have to be like this. I want to start off by saying that I am not perfect, I do make plenty of mistakes and i will continue to make mistakes. I’m writing this because a coworker of mine decided to make a post about me and completely lied.
I work for Jo-Ann fabrics and I love it, I love the atmosphere and I love the people- the customers and coworkers. Well, except one. For privacy I will call her Regina because she acts like work is the mean girls movie. I started working for this company October of 2023, I was hired in as the full time key holder. I do have a four year old that goes to school and due to kids having germs my daughter was sick a lot so I did have to call in, I don’t have much help babysitter wise so I HAD to stay home to take care of her. I didn’t call in every other day it was like twice every so often. Regina didn’t like that and resented me for choosing to take care of my daughter rather than work, so she told our boss that she should have the position because she doesn’t have a kid and would be available more. Our boss talked to me so I sacrificed the position so she could have it, now I’m not mad, upset or jealous that I don’t have the full time position it’s just hard to make a living working part time hours only making 10.55 an hour. If I knew what was to come I would have NEVER sacrificed the full time position. I do have a steady babysitter now so I’m working as much as I can so I can provide for my daughters need, kids are expensive and my daughters birthday is coming up so I asked for extra hours.
Days after Regina and I switched positions she started to act like she was made out of gold, like a golden child would. She would ALWAYS rub it in my face that she now was the full time key holder and always bragged how much more an hour she makes. She would ask all of our coworkers what their pay was and then would tell them how much she makes. I don’t care how much she makes, though higher pay would make my living situation easier. I grew up poor so I already adapted to a life of poverty and I’m honestly okay with it, sometimes it’s harder than other times but I make it work with what I have. Money to me is just paper, I can’t take it to the grave with me. Regina stoped me in the back room and said “I hope your not mad” I asked “why would I be mad” Regina replied with “because I make way more money than you” I smiled “well, I honestly don’t care. I couldn’t care less about money” Regina’s face got sour and cold because she knew she wasn’t getting under my skin. She replied with “oh, I thought you were”. I chuckled and said “no” and continued what I was doing.
Some time goes where nothing was happening but I could feel that something was brewing. It was the calm before the storm is what I’d call it. Now around this time I was going through a break up and was not feeling the best in my own skin and Regina knew this and used it as her ammunition. She started to call me her fat friend and then gave me hugs, I felt awkward because I do not like to be touched due to some very tramatic events . I’m bigger, I’m not skinny but I’m also not severely obese. Regina started to poke me and grab my fat and jiggle it. The first time she did, it was in front of two other female coworkers. They weren’t nice either, I’ll call them Gretchen and Karen, they were all in on this. When Regina grabbed my fat and giggled it Gretchen and Karen watched and laughed. I asked Regina “what are you doing” she responded with “I just wanted to feel how squishy it is”. Me being a non confrontational person I say “oh, don’t do that” still being nice and smiling, though I felt what was left of my self esteem completely shatter. I brushed it off and walked up to where all three of the mean girls were to ask a question about work since I was the only one doing something. Before I could even ask the question Gretchen goes behind me, makes a fist and lightly punched my back fat making it jiggle. All the girls laugh, I could feel my face getting hot and tears forming in my eyes as my heart sank to my stomach. I went to the bathroom for a moment to gather myself. This would go one for weeks, and every time it happened I would ask her to stop or to leave me be, each time she disregarded what I asked. During this time she would tell every coworker that I was a bad worker, I didn’t do what I was supposed to and if I did I would do a horrible job. There are so many other things she has said to others one that hurt the most was her saying it was annoying that I talk about my daughter so much. Now this whole time I thought we were friends, I’m a very forgiving person and I’m super nice even to people who don’t deserve it so when I heard about everything she was saying I was hurt I was so confused because she even asked to be my daughters god mother though she was never in my daughters life. I know friends don’t treat friends like that but I was just happy I could call someone a friend after years of having no one due to becoming a mom and losing myself in motherhood. I call my kindness and willingness to forgive a blessing and a curse because it truly is.
After finding out about everything she was saying, the drama and the physical touching which is actually bulling and harassment I finally went to my boss. It took me almost two months to tell her what was going on and how I felt. I hated every second explaining the torment to her, my boss is a lovey person and is super sweet. I couldn’t imagine how she felt hearing all of this, I truly felt like I was going to puke. I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t bear to work any longer without the help of my boss. My boss did talk to Regina and she said that she seems like she will be better and will stop the nonsense. A day after she was talked to Regina poked my back fat and laughed, she was shocked at how I responded. This time I wasn’t nice I turned to her and pretty much yelled “don’t touch me” she immediately apologized. I was surprised with how I responded as well, I actually stood up for myself and it felt nice. I did tell my boss she touched me again so Regina was talked to again and was extremely pissed. She started acting really passive aggressive, avoiding me and slamming things and being rude to everyone even customers. Me, being the nice person I am I decided that I would forgive her. Dumb of me, I know. I wrote her a four or five page letter explaining how everything made me feel , how bad of a friend she was and that I would teach her how to be a good friend. I even bought her a candle and some other stuff along with the letter I went as far as going over to her house to help her clean. She cried a lot when she read the letter and cried to me saying how bad of a friend she was, I hugged her back and said that it was okay and I forgive her. After that is was okay for a while until I witnessed her take drinks without paying for them and told my boss. After this, it was like a war.
I have never gotten in trouble with anyone, anywhere with anything, I guess I’m a goodie-two-shoes. Though I do have anger problems I have found ways to cope and deal with my anger, I’ve been working really hard to not get angry at Regina even though she deserves to hear what the mama bear side of me wants to say. I want to be gentle, I want to be nice and forgiving, I don’t want to be angry. But I knew I had to set some sturdy boundaries in order to keep my sanity. These past few weeks have been hell, in summary I caught her talking bad about me to my boss, she was lying about me, blaming me and others for things we didn’t do. With one situation in particular she turned the tables , when hearing this my adrenaline started to course through my veins, I stared to shake so bad. I went up to her and told her that was not how the story went. She got so scared seeing me so mad and shaking. She apologized to our boss for lying but not to me, my other coworker helped me calm down and thank god she did because I was going to quit right there and then. To summarize other things she has done I will just list them -tried to frame another coworker for theft to the point the coworker cried to our boss -tried to take credit for the work I did -talks bad about other managers and workers in other stores -gave out the phone numbers and emails of our hr and of our boss’s boss -made me work off the clock to train new people because she didn’t want to train them -purposely trained me wrong and is hesitant with teaching me new things to the point my boss has to and when I learn she gets mad and jealous because she’s threatened by my work ethic -yelled at me in front of a customer to the point the customer came back to complain about Regina to our boss and another coworker
And so many more but, the most recent is her blaming me for not locking the doors at close when it was her that didn’t do it correctly, the alarm company called my boss at night and the cops came to our Joanns and everything. I have several eye witnesses watch her do it. I told my boss to watch the cameras because I have nothing to lie about and Regina still is trying to blame me. This is where I draw the line, I will not forgive her so easily this time. Forgiveness without changed behavior is just manipulation. I am not the only one who has complained about her, many of our coworker have switched their availability to when I work or when my boss works because they don’t want to deal with Regina. Tension is very high and I’m afraid of what is to come.

Well, I didn’t think things would come this far or have to be like this. I want to start off by saying that I am not perfect, I do make plenty of mistakes and i will continue to make mistakes. I’m writing this because a coworker of mine decided to make a post about me and completely lied.
I work for Jo-Ann fabrics and I love it, I love the atmosphere and I love the people- the customers and coworkers. Well, except one. For privacy I will call her Regina because she acts like work is the mean girls movie. I started working for this company October of 2023, I was hired in as the full time key holder. I do have a four year old that goes to school and due to kids having germs my daughter was sick a lot so I did have to call in, I don’t have much help babysitter wise so I HAD to stay home to take care of her. I didn’t call in every other day it was like twice every so often. Regina didn’t like that and resented me for choosing to take care of my daughter rather than work, so she told our boss that she should have the position because she doesn’t have a kid and would be available more. Our boss talked to me so I sacrificed the position so she could have it, now I’m not mad, upset or jealous that I don’t have the full time position it’s just hard to make a living working part time hours only making 10.55 an hour. If I knew what was to come I would have NEVER sacrificed the full time position. I do have a steady babysitter now so I’m working as much as I can so I can provide for my daughters need, kids are expensive and my daughters birthday is coming up so I asked for extra hours.
Days after Regina and I switched positions she started to act like she was made out of gold, like a golden child would. She would ALWAYS rub it in my face that she now was the full time key holder and always bragged how much more an hour she makes. She would ask all of our coworkers what their pay was and then would tell them how much she makes. I don’t care how much she makes, though higher pay would make my living situation easier. I grew up poor so I already adapted to a life of poverty and I’m honestly okay with it, sometimes it’s harder than other times but I make it work with what I have. Money to me is just paper, I can’t take it to the grave with me. Regina stoped me in the back room and said “I hope your not mad” I asked “why would I be mad” Regina replied with “because I make way more money than you” I smiled “well, I honestly don’t care. I couldn’t care less about money” Regina’s face got sour and cold because she knew she wasn’t getting under my skin. She replied with “oh, I thought you were”. I chuckled and said “no” and continued what I was doing.
Some time goes where nothing was happening but I could feel that something was brewing. It was the calm before the storm is what I’d call it. Now around this time I was going through a break up and was not feeling the best in my own skin and Regina knew this and used it as her ammunition. She started to call me her fat friend and then gave me hugs, I felt awkward because I do not like to be touched due to some very tramatic events . I’m bigger, I’m not skinny but I’m also not severely obese. Regina started to poke me and grab my fat and jiggle it. The first time she did, it was in front of two other female coworkers. They weren’t nice either, I’ll call them Gretchen and Karen, they were all in on this. When Regina grabbed my fat and giggled it Gretchen and Karen watched and laughed. I asked Regina “what are you doing” she responded with “I just wanted to feel how squishy it is”. Me being a non confrontational person I say “oh, don’t do that” still being nice and smiling, though I felt what was left of my self esteem completely shatter. I brushed it off and walked up to where all three of the mean girls were to ask a question about work since I was the only one doing something. Before I could even ask the question Gretchen goes behind me, makes a fist and lightly punched my back fat making it jiggle. All the girls laugh, I could feel my face getting hot and tears forming in my eyes as my heart sank to my stomach. I went to the bathroom for a moment to gather myself. This would go one for weeks, and every time it happened I would ask her to stop or to leave me be, each time she disregarded what I asked. During this time she would tell every coworker that I was a bad worker, I didn’t do what I was supposed to and if I did I would do a horrible job. There are so many other things she has said to others one that hurt the most was her saying it was annoying that I talk about my daughter so much. Now this whole time I thought we were friends, I’m a very forgiving person and I’m super nice even to people who don’t deserve it so when I heard about everything she was saying I was hurt I was so confused because she even asked to be my daughters god mother though she was never in my daughters life. I know friends don’t treat friends like that but I was just happy I could call someone a friend after years of having no one due to becoming a mom and losing myself in motherhood. I call my kindness and willingness to forgive a blessing and a curse because it truly is.
After finding out about everything she was saying, the drama and the physical touching which is actually bulling and harassment I finally went to my boss. It took me almost two months to tell her what was going on and how I felt. I hated every second explaining the torment to her, my boss is a lovey person and is super sweet. I couldn’t imagine how she felt hearing all of this, I truly felt like I was going to puke. I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t bear to work any longer without the help of my boss. My boss did talk to Regina and she said that she seems like she will be better and will stop the nonsense. A day after she was talked to Regina poked my back fat and laughed, she was shocked at how I responded. This time I wasn’t nice I turned to her and pretty much yelled “don’t touch me” she immediately apologized. I was surprised with how I responded as well, I actually stood up for myself and it felt nice. I did tell my boss she touched me again so Regina was talked to again and was extremely pissed. She started acting really passive aggressive, avoiding me and slamming things and being rude to everyone even customers. Me, being the nice person I am I decided that I would forgive her. Dumb of me, I know. I wrote her a four or five page letter explaining how everything made me feel , how bad of a friend she was and that I would teach her how to be a good friend. I even bought her a candle and some other stuff along with the letter I went as far as going over to her house to help her clean. She cried a lot when she read the letter and cried to me saying how bad of a friend she was, I hugged her back and said that it was okay and I forgive her. After that is was okay for a while until I witnessed her take drinks without paying for them and told my boss. After this, it was like a war.
I have never gotten in trouble with anyone, anywhere with anything, I guess I’m a goodie-two-shoes. Though I do have anger problems I have found ways to cope and deal with my anger, I’ve been working really hard to not get angry at Regina even though she deserves to hear what the mama bear side of me wants to say. I want to be gentle, I want to be nice and forgiving, I don’t want to be angry. But I knew I had to set some sturdy boundaries in order to keep my sanity. These past few weeks have been hell, in summary I caught her talking bad about me to my boss, she was lying about me, blaming me and others for things we didn’t do. With one situation in particular she turned the tables , when hearing this my adrenaline started to course through my veins, I stared to shake so bad. I went up to her and told her that was not how the story went. She got so scared seeing me so mad and shaking. She apologized to our boss for lying but not to me, my other coworker helped me calm down and thank god she did because I was going to quit right there and then. To summarize other things she has done I will just list them -tried to frame another coworker for theft to the point the coworker cried to our boss -tried to take credit for the work I did -talks bad about other managers and workers in other stores -gave out the phone numbers and emails of our hr and of our boss’s boss -made me work off the clock to train new people because she didn’t want to train them -purposely trained me wrong and is hesitant with teaching me new things to the point my boss has to and when I learn she gets mad and jealous because she’s threatened by my work ethic -yelled at me in front of a customer to the point the customer came back to complain about Regina to our boss and another coworker
And so many more but, the most recent is her blaming me for not locking the doors at close when it was her that didn’t do it correctly, the alarm company called my boss at night and the cops came to our Joanns and everything. I have several eye witnesses watch her do it. I told my boss to watch the cameras because I have nothing to lie about and Regina still is trying to blame me. This is where I draw the line, I will not forgive her so easily this time. Forgiveness without changed behavior is just manipulation. I am not the only one who has complained about her, many of our coworker have switched their availability to when I work or when my boss works because they don’t want to deal with Regina. Tension is very high and I’m afraid of what is to come.

Hi - I recently signed a lease for my first apartment (the first floor of a 3 family house), and I would like to bring my ESA (a quiet, well-trained, elderly cat) with me. I know that a lot of people lie/scam about having an ESA, but I have a legitimate disability and a letter from my therapist verifying this. I move into the apartment next month but I have not yet notified my landlord about my ESA (because unfortunately most landlords would discriminate against me) and I want to let my landlord know about it without us getting off on the wrong foot. I really mean no disrespect to my landlord at all, I just want to be able to live with my ESA as she is crucial to my wellbeing. Any advice from landlords on how you would want tenants to handle this situation? Thank you :)

Disillusioned with the current job market? I get it, I really do. As if sifting through thousands of opportunities, writing a cover letters, going through 3 rounds of interviews, and all of the “homework assignments” isn’t enough? But we CAN’T forget to add a deep dive search into your potential employer’s background to the list because the amount of pyramid scheme/predatory companies out there is only increasing and they’re getting more and more sophisticated.
I’m have one intention; to prevent others from falling prey to the same predatory and morally corrupt situation that I found myself in. Thank god (or whomevewhatever is pulling the strings out there) for good friends with a knack for uncovering company's secrets or I would be working for a MLM right now. The company is called Silver Lining Marketing Inc. and they’re office is located in Gretna, LA (but operates in the greater New Orleans Area). They have an actual office, with employees and everything. They even make their employees wear business professional clothing so as to appear more legitimate. They have a functioning website, which once I actually read everything on their website, I realized that they aren’t really marketing the non-profits they fundraise for, but rather they are marketing job opportunities and personal growth within their company.
I applied to a job listing on indeed for an executive management position with Silver Lining Marketing Inc. with $75-100K compensation, which sounds great, right? You go through 3 rounds of interviews which end with an in-person interview with one of the “Team Leaders” and then their CEO. Everyone is SO nice and they do a great job of making the office feel “fun and supportive”. They don’t give you the job on the spot but rather wait at least a day or two to contact you after your final interview, so it appears as though this is a competitive and desirable position. Once you’re hired the switch flips and you’re finally made aware that you will not reach the executive manager position for about a year and this is how they get you!
First you will start out in an entry level “training” position for about a month where the pay is a measly $12/hr, but you get 20% of one-time donations and 1X monthly donations…which I don’t know how anyone sees any of that “bonus” money because they are still training and not “out in the field”. It was at this point that I asked what “out in the field” meant. I wrongfully assumed that in this position I would be doing event planning for galas, dinners, and any other kind of fundraising event…but man was I wrong! “Out in the field” actually translated to going to Walmart, CVS, various grocery stores, ect for 8 hours with a clipboard and harassing strangers for donations to various non-profits. Thats how they make their “bonuses” and I HIGHLY DOUBT that the people they coerced into donating their hard-earned money would still want to donate if they knew that approximately 40% of that donation would be going in to the pocket of a for-profit marketing firm. They have you wear clothing with the non-profit’s logo on it so that people think you work for the non-profit and they also tell you to never tell the donors that you take a (hefty) percentage of the money that they think is being donated in its entirety to the non-profit.
After about a month you move up to a leadership role. The leadership level is split in to 3 tiers; Jr. leader, Core leader, and Sr. leader. You’re still making $12/hr by the way, BUT WAIT, now you’ll get 20% of any one-time donations you 1.5X any monthly donations you receive. When you move to the Core leadership level you get a “growth bonus” which I was told is $200, hooray?? Upon reaching the Sr. leadership role you’re still at $12/hr but now you get 20% of one-time donations and 2X monthly donations. According to the employee I spoke to, new employees typically spend around 16-20 weeks in this role. At this point you are responsible for set up and break down of “events” in “the field”, your team of $12/hr cronies, and the money collected at the “events”. To move to the next tier, which is assistant manager, one must first indoctrinate 4 other people and at least 1 of those 4 people has to make it to a Sr. leadership role. This means you have to get at least 4 more suckers to work for 12/hr before you can be promoted, is this starting to sound familiar? In addition to your recruitment goals, you must also get at least 10K in one-time donations and 1K in monthly donations for 2 weeks in a row.
When you get to the third level you become assistant manager and you are STILL MAKING $12/hr, but don’t get your panties in a bunch because WOAH now you’re make 20% on one-time donations and 3X monthly donations. The assistant manager role typically last about 8-12 weeks and it is in this role that you learn the scripts and necessary brain-washing tools to start your very own MLM! The fourth and final level is executive manager and in this role you’re supposed to be making 75k-100k and be in charge of your own entire office of brainwashed underpaid employees and you get to rinse and repeat with all of the new hires.
These companies brainwash people in numerous ways. Every morning there is a meeting for an hour and half in which you stand up, yell mantras, clap, and get hyped up for a long day of skimming donations from various non-profit charities. They make sure everyone looks professional and has a “good attitude” to prevent people from getting spooked or god forbid thinking for themselves long enough to realize that they’re part of a pyramid scheme. How is this legal, you say!? Well, unfortunately it is legal but it absolutely should not be. See this particular company isn’t making you buy a product and then sell said product to make money, no no no, instead this company hides behind the good names of the charities that it “represents” while skimming money off the top of each donation. The Charities are getting donations they otherwise wouldn’t have so they're not motivated to do the necessary research in to the practices of the company that is paying them. I would also like to note that I don’t think that all of the people that currently work for or have worked for Silver Lining Marketing Inc. are terrible, morally corrupt, individuals because they at their core victims of this heinous system that judicial system has allowed to persist. This company targets kind-hearted individuals that want to help charities, individuals who typically don’t take a job just for the money. This allows them to guilt you in to working for an unlivable wage because, hey, you're making a difference and if you just work hard enough for a while then you’ll make lots of money and get to start your very own business!
I watched a youtube video on pyramid/MLM schemes called “The Slave Circle (Direct Marketing Devil Corp. Documentary)” and this video gave me the confidence I needed to tell the company that I would not work for them and why. I highly recommend watching the video if you think you might be falling prey to a company like Silver Lining Marketing Inc. Here’s the link; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyCRzBt7GuY
Additionally, the Lula rich docuseries on amazon prime is worth a watch.
Lastly, I would like to say that if you or someone you know has been a victim of a fucked MLM like this, don’t turn to anger or vengeance. Don’t let this discourage you, these companies are so sophisticated and have scripted responses for every possible situation. They prey on good people and you are not a bad person if you fall for it, just don’t make that mistake again, learn from your errors, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE post about your experience on reddit, glassdoor, and anywhere else you feel comfortable so that you can prevent others from falling victim to the same situation!!
I really hope this helps others and if anyone has any specific questions, let me know in the comments and I’ll try to check in every so often and answer them.

heya!! my name is gennie, im 17 and from coastal australian suburb! i used to have a few penpals a few years back but took a small break and am now looking for some new ones! i would love to have a penpal from somewhere different to australia as i would like to collect postcards from all around the world eventually!
about me - im a working teenager who loves to explore and just walk about town finding new areas to enjoy. i love anything artsy but i mainly practice painting, sketching and photography! i love collecting cds and oddities (mainly bones or anything rabbit related as they are my favourite animal!). my main hobbies and lots and lots of baking and thrifting! in my free time i’m usually creating outfits to wear in the future haha. my favourite colours are like a burgundy red and pastel/buttery yellow! i really enjoy decorating and making unique letters and getting to know new people!
thanks a bunch for reading ^{^} if you’re interested pm me!!

Vote in the polls with the choices labelled in the letter and square brackets (e.g [A])! The one with the most votes, will be eliminated entirely.
(JUST TO NOTE: THIS ISN'T CANON TO THE LORE AND THIS IS JUST SOMETHING BASED OFF OF BFB! THANK YOU FOR READING THIS CAPITALIZED MESSAGE FROM AN ALT OF CIRCLEJERKFOREVER)
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I have an unhealthy obsession with organizing storage. I've built a big Silo structure at our home base, and everything there is sorted into chests by name, alphabetically. Some things get multiple chests (wood is a good example). In all, its been a huge hit for everyone in the server because everything people need is easy to find, and when they want to drop something off for storage they just put it in the donation chests for me to organize.
I'm caught between my desire to avoid all spoilers, and my desire to not have to re-build my silo more than once. Expanding the structure is quite difficult, so is reorganizing things because of new items.
Is there a way that I can find a list of all new items, but perhaps only the first letter of the item name? If any of the new items are things that you want or could have multiple chests of (for example, a new common wood type), that would also be useful information. I'm going to have to expand the silo's diameter, and I'm hoping that I won't have to re-build or re-organize it more than I have to.
I thought about looking at the wiki for an item list, but I don't think it's complete and I also am afraid of spoilers.

** BOTH FRI 5/17 AND SAT 5/18 *\*
Motorcycle Safety Foundation Ride Day New Mexico Motorcycle Safety Program, 3401 Pan American Fwy Take Your First Ride: Ride a motorcycle in 30 min or less for free. MOTO Intro provides the motorcycle, helmet, gloves, and coaching. Free Riding Skills Test: Take the challenge of an advanced MSF course! SKILL Check participants, bring your motorcycle and gear! Please wear over-the-ankle footwear, long pants and long sleeves

• Fri: 2 - 4 PM Skills Check, 4 - 6 PM Moto Intro
• Sat: 2 - 4:30 PM Moto Intro, 4:30 - 6:30 PM Skills Check

Niños and Teeños: Flamenco para todos Carlisle Gymnasium (Elizabeth Waters Center for Dance), UNM, 301 Yale Blvd. NE National Institute of Flamenco presents Niños y Teeños Flamencos in FUTUROS FLAMENCOS. Come see the high-energy flamenco of the National Institute of Flamenco's Student Companies. Don't miss this special showcase by talented youth in our community! (tickets)

• Fri: 7 PM
• Sat: 4 PM

** Fri 5/17 *\*
Fri 4:30 PM Bike to Wherever Day Canteen Brewhouse, 2381 Aztec Rd. NE Learn about exciting bike routes in Albuquerque and grab some cool giveaways to kickstart your cycling adventures. Whether you’re a seasoned cyclist or just starting out, there’s something for EVERYONE at our pop-up table! We'll have Canteen will be volunteering at a table from 6:30-9am and then again at 4:30-6:30am. Receive $1 off your beer if you arrive on your bike
Fri 5 PM Pistachio Cream Ale Release Tractor Brewing, ALL locations We're bringing back this seasonal favorite for American Craft Beer Week! Inspired by pistachios produced right here in New Mexico this brew is as smooth as silk and as tasty and a fresh roasted pistachio. This is a very limited one off for us, so come and get you a pint or growler while supplies last
Fri 5 – 7 PM May Babies Birthday Celebration Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW Starting at 5pm, the first 25 people with May birthdays to show Ryan proof of their birthday month will score a $5 Rio Bravo Brewing Gift Card...oh, and Beers are on special for birthday kids for just $5! But you spend your gift card however you want! Thanks to Cake Fetish...we'll have cupcakes for the May Birthday Kids (while supplies last) We'll have prizes JUST for the May Babies! We'll also have drawings for all you non-birthday folks too If you want to get their before us...All drinks are $1 Off for May Birthdays the whole day!
Fri 5:45 – 7:15 PM 22 Veterans Suicide Awareness WOD BFit505, 11500 Menaul Blvd. NE Each month, Team Bravo & Bfit505 team up to bring awareness to veteran suicide. Before our events, we will take a moment and talk about the issue. Then we will begin with our 22 reps WOD followed by a 2.2 mile ruck/walk/run. Afterwards, we will be going out to eat for social time with friends and family. This event is for all levels
Fri 6 PM Sandia Social - May Hangout Dawn Patrol Coffee Shop, 3619 Copper Ave NE We will be hanging out around the patio and inside starting at 6pm! Bring your friends and come hang out!
Fri 6 PM Pink Therapy, A Latin Dance Fundraiser for Breast Cancer Sobremesa, 3421 Coors Blvd. NW On The One and Pachanga Productions' "Salsa Therapy" night has made its mark in the Latin Dance community, now we are using the symbolism of "Therapy" under "Pink Therapy" but this time it is to fundraise in partnership with the Pink Warrior House Foundation in order to provide outreach and increase resources for those warriors battling against breast cancer. On The One and Pachanga productions will be involved in community outreach and utilizing our resources to help those in need. Cover charge is a SUGGESTED $20 donation (ALL PROCEEDS GO TO Pink Warrior House Foundation). Cocktail hour from 6-7 PM (purchases go to PWH on selected drinks). Dance lesson from 7-8 PM. Open dance floor 8-12 AM. Be aware of Media/News coverage. We need everyone's assistance with this, PLEASE SHARE FAR AND WIDE, those warriors battling breast cancer need our help. Let's do our part. We are asking for the entire Latin dance community to come out and support. This will be one of many fundraisers that we do for organizations like PWH. Lets use our dance skills to help those in need!
Fri 6 – 8 PM May Flowers Stampin' Bingo (in person) Hip Stitch, 2320 Wisconsin St. NE Cost is $35 for 6 rounds of bingo, prizes, and make n' takes! Message for more info or to register
Fri 6 – 8:30 PM Los Domingueros Live El Vado, 2500 Central Ave SW Prepare for an unforgettable fusion of Latin dance beats and rock energy as Friday Night Live at El Vado proudly presents New Mexico's premier menudo-based band, Los Domingueros! Few bands can match the infectious joy and vibrant rhythms that they bring to the stage. A multi-talented group of musicians, they take listeners on a musical journey like no other. From the pulsating rhythms of salsa, bachata, and cumbia to the high-energy vibes of ska and reggae, sprinkled with a dash of punk and thrash, their eclectic repertoire promises an exhilarating experience for all. As always, treat your taste buds to a delightful selection of culinary delights from our diverse food pods. From savory stir-fries to tantalizing Latin flavors and heavenly desserts, there's something to satisfy every craving. And don't overlook the opportunity to quench your thirst with a crisp craft beer from Ponderosa Brewing Company, conveniently available at the El Vado Tap Room
Fri 6 – 10 PM Fork Cancer Gala FUSION ABQ, 700-708 1st St. NW The American Cancer Society is hosting Albuquerque's second #ForkCancerAbq fundraising event. VIP 6pm - 7pm. Gala 7pm - 10pm. Dress Code: Gala Attire. #ForkCancerNM is a foodie's dream, with local restaurants and bars bringing out their best to truly showcase the Taste of Albuquerque while raising money for the American Cancer Society's life-saving mission in New Mexico supporting Access to Care like patient transportation, patient lodging and 24/7 support. Along with life saving research and grants. With great opportunities to raise money, we will also have live entertainment! (tickets)
Fri 6:30 – 10 PM Community Movie Night South Valley Multipurpose Center, 2008 Larrazolo Rd. SW Feature of the night: In The Heights. Bring your dinner, blankets and chairs. Please no glass containers
Fri 7 PM Movie In The Park ABQ Food Park, 6901-B San Antonio Dr. NE ABQ Food Park is bringing back Movies In The Park, starting off the summer with a screening of The Sandlot. Arrive early to get your face painted by Local Locas Facepainting before settling in with your blankets, chairs, and appetite for a delightful evening at the park with loved ones. Indulge in delicious fare from our food trucks while enjoying this timeless film under the stars. Please do not bring outside food as we have a variety of food options at the park. Please support our local food vendors. Entry is free! Reserve your tickets
Fri 7 – 10 PM Emerald Ball Holiday Dance Studio, 5200 Eubank Blvd. NE, Ste D Celebrate the enchanting month of May by donning your finest emerald attire. Bring in the vibrant spring season by joining us in elegant semi-formal wear of rich verdant colors and dance the night away! A Foxtrot lesson will begin the evening at 7pm followed by open dancing. Call 505-508-4020 for more information. $30 non-members
Fri 8 PM – 2 AM Sucia EDC Gogo Takeover Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Sucia Productions is bringing the Electric Sky to Sidewinders! No need to have EDC FOMO because Papa Sucia is ready to bring the party to you! Come join your Sucia Family for a Night of PLUR! Featuring the Sucia Gogos on multiple boxes and individual dances available in the Cabaret Room! Hosted by Papa Sucia and Sucia Gogo Madam Sativa Rico-Stratton. DJ Unzipped will be bringing the you the best EDM set for you to dance the night away!
Fri 9 PM – 1:30 AM Callaita Fridays Salt Yard West, 3700 Ellison Rd. NW DJ Soiree will be spinning under the stars in the Salt Yard, promising a night of electrifying Latin music. This 21+ event guarantees an atmosphere where you can fully embrace the rhythm without inhibition. Whether you're a die-hard fan of Reggaeton or simply seeking a night of unparalleled fun, "Callaita Fridays" is the place to be
Fri 10:30 PM – 12:15 AM FACELESS AFTER DARK - new meta horror starring Jenna Kanell of "Terrifier"! The Guild Cinema, 3405 Central Ave NE All Seats $8. Check out the trailer. Dir. Raymond Wood - 2023 - 82m. Following her breakout success as the star of a killer clown horror flick, Bowie (Jenna Kanell, TERRIFIER) now finds herself struggling to capitalize on its success. But when she is suddenly held hostage by an unhinged fan posing as that same killer clown, horror becomes her reality as she fights to survive the night and escape before he completes his sinister plan to recreate the film's fatal plot (tickets)
** Sat 5/18 *\*
Sat 8 – 10 AM Planting Corn Seeds Lynn Garden, 176 Manierre Rd., Corrales We will be planting corn seeds; a new crop for Seed2Need this year!
Sat 8 – 10 AM Run for Mercy 5K Sagebrush Community Church, 6440 Coors Blvd. NW Join our team to run with us to support Mercy Multiplied, which exists to provide opportunities for all to experience God's unconditional love, forgiveness, and life-transforming power. Mercy offers free-of-charge Residential and Outpatient Counseling Programs, as well as Outreach Services that include workshops and trainings, our Keys to Freedom discipleship study, and Keys to Freedom Retreat (register)
Sat 8 AM – 12 PM Downtown Growers' Market Robinson Park, 810 Copper Ave NW Every Saturday from 8 am - NOON! This vibrant community event connects local farmers, growers, artisans, wellness makers, and hot food vendors with the local community from mid-April to early-November. Bring friends / family or come solo to enjoy fresh food made on sight, a variety of seasonal produce, unique arts and crafts, live music, and special programming all in the heart of downtown
Sat 8 AM – 2 PM Rio Rancho's Biggest Yard Sale Cabezon Park and Community Center, 2307 Cabezon Blvd. SE, Rio Rancho FREE Admission! Clean out your garage, spare bedroom, attic and shed. Come join us to sell all of those items that were collecting dust, find a treasure that you didn’t know you needed, and enjoy a day in the park! Vendor space $35 for a 15’ x 15’ space (Tables and chairs are not provided) Must register online, NO Drop-Ins Accepted. Please call the Cabezon Community Center at 505-892-4499 for more info
Sat 9 AM Send Haley to Spain Sand Volleyball Tournament Charlie’s Sandbox, 4335 Paseo del Norte NE All proceeds go to Haley and her trip to Spain in July! $20/per player. All Skill levels! Prizes for 1st & 2nd place. 4-6 players Coed with 1 female on team. Check in @ 8:30am. More info: Jillian (505) 322-7228, Haley (505) 331-4788, Charlie (505) 239-2461
Sat 9 AM Invisible Heroes Run Believers Center of Albuquerque, 320 Waterfall Dr. SE Join Runfit and the American Society of Radiologic Technologists for the inaugural Invisible Heroes 5K Run/Walk. It is a community event being held to recognize the vital role that medical imaging professionals and radiation therapists play on the health care team and to introduce the public to these vital health care professionals. You are invited to run and walk to celebrate the important work done by invisible heroes. At packet pick-up, you will have an opportunity to tour the ASRT Museum and Archives. Age group, overall, and team awards, including a great t-shirt and finisher medals for all participants (register)
Sat 9 AM - 4 PM 16th Annual CTC Vintage Tractor & Car Show Corrales Recreation Center, 500 Jones Rd., Corrales Join us for a fun day in the Corrales Park. There will be music, food, hot rods, tractor, stationary engines and more. Proceeds Raised will benefit Corrales 4H and Historical Society. Free admission. $10 for show participants
Sat 10 AM – 12 PM Foraging for Fun(ds) Los Poblanos Open Space, 1800 Tierra Viva Pl. NW Join Rev. Ryan Tate on a foraging excursion! Rev. Tate, of the African American spiritual tradition and an IPL board member, wants to bring their loving knowledge of NM edibles and herbs to you. Discover the food right under your nose and how easy it is to enjoy! We’ll meet to explore and harvest native and edible plants. Enter the Open Space area from west bound Montano Boulevard. After foraging, we’ll gather to taste our harvest and other locally sourced treats. Sign up today to participate - space is limited. This is a fundraiser for our work for climate justice: Please give generously (Suggested minimum donation $10)
Sat 10 AM – 3 PM Homebrewer's Happy Hour Southwest Grape & Grain, 3401 Candelaria Blvd. NE Homebrewer's Happy Hour is the perfect chance for all homebrewers, wine makers, distillers, or anyone interested in learning, to connect with others, share a drink, and learn about a new subject each month! $1 off beers from 10am to 3pm. Presentation on monthly subject at 1pm with open forum to discuss after. Food truck on site for lunch! May 18th - Barley
Sat 10:30 – 11:30 AM Animal Tales with the ABQ BioPark Ernie Pyle Library, 900 Girard Blvd. SE Dive into the captivating world of animals with "Animal Tales" presented by the ABQ BioPark! Join us for a delightful reading session featuring an animal-themed book. Experience the magic as the BioPark brings along real animals and biofacts that connect to the story, giving kids an exciting opportunity to meet these creatures up close! Don't miss this engaging and educational adventure for young animal enthusiasts!
Sat 10:30 AM – 12:30 PM FolkMADS Third Saturday Family Dance Albuquerque Square Dance Center, 4915 Hawkins St. NE Dancing, song, and live music for kids of all ages. No experience needed to have fun! Children must be accompanied by an adult. Children dance free, Adults $10
Sat 11 AM – 1 PM Annual Summer Kick-Off Event! Matheson Park Elementary, 10809 Lexington Ave NE Join us as we kick off the summer with fun, a food truck, face painting, dunk tank, and more! Bring your family and your pets for a Blessing of the Pets. There is no cost to attend and all are welcome!
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Wine + Art Afternoons Gruet Winery, 8400 Pan American East Fwy NE Prism Arts presents a new public art and social series with a special one-day multi-artist event. Join us inside the Gruet Winery with a selection of fine art, prints, paintings, jewelry, and ceramics from local artists Vanessa Alvarado, Eric Romero, Margarita Paz-Pedro, & Aaron Richardson. Enjoy unique art, amazing fine, food, and a social environment with the artists and the public. *All art purchases receive a complimentary bottle of Gruet Wine*
Sat 11 AM – 3 PM Bernalillo Family Fun Festival! Calvary Church, 4001 Osuna Rd. NE Get connected to community and enjoy a Fun Family Day!
Sat 11:30 AM – 4 PM Imaginary Friends Fest Flix Brewhouse, 3200 La Orilla Rd. NW Let your imagination run wild! Join us in the lobby to celebrate the opening of IF! Enjoy photo ops, freebies, an in-theater giveaway, and activities for the whole family. All ages are welcome!
Sat 12 PM BBQ n' Crawl Supper Rock Park, 598 Monte Alto Pl. NE Mini Crawlers 505 and Duke City RC are throwing a BBQ and crawl sesh! All rigs welcome! Please mark going if you are, so we can get enough food!
Sat 12 PM May Brew Tour - Farewell Tour Rio Bravo Brewing, 1912 2nd St. NW This is the last NM Brew Ha-Ha Beer tour for the season. The 24-25 season will start in June 2025 so stay tuned for the season lineup release. Rio Bravo Brewing, Ponderosa Brewing, Bow & Arrow Brewing, Juno Brewery. At Rio Bravo, a DD will be selected, then we’ll head to the other breweries in the order listed. T-shirts, if ordered will be delivered. For safety, a breathalyzer is available, a DD will be established and a liability waiver will be signed by all participants. Safety is of utmost importance. We want everyone to enjoy their tour and arrive home safely
Sat 12 PM Drag Bingo & Brunch! All Ages Welcome! Sidewinders Bar and Grill, 4200 Central Ave SE Join us for a Drag Queen Bingo and Brunch benefitting The Albuquerque Roadrunner Tournament 2024 (coming up in September). Hosted by Priscilla Bouvier. Doors 12pm. Show 1pm. Bingo, Prizes, Giveaways, Raffles, Cocktails, Mocktails and Fun!
Sat 12 PM Empire's 9th Anniversary - FREE PLAY ALL DAY Empire Board Game Library, 3503 Central Ave NE It's Empire's 9th Anniversary celebration and you're invited! We've been here 9 years and it's all thanks to the support we get from you, so to show our appreciation, this Saturday's celebration is our gift to you: Come in and play for free all day! Every game is on sale all weekend! We're holding raffles over the course of the day to give away some great games! So come on down and let us thank you!
Sat 12 – 3 PM STOODIS!: An AIDS/LifeCycle Fundraising Event Soo Bak Seoul Bowl, 111 Hermosa Dr. SE Help Vanessa Bowen cross the finish line – the fundraising finish line, that is! Vanessa is on a mission to raise $3,500 to participate in the 2024 AIDS/LifeCycle, a 545-mile charity bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles from June 2nd to 8th, 2024. Join this special fundraising event and send-off party for an afternoon of entertainment, vendors, bike tune-ups, raffle, and food and drink specials. Come prepared to support our local vendors and find out how you can win our selected giveaways. AIDS/LifeCycle benefits, and is jointly produced by, San Francisco AIDS Foundation (Tax ID # 94-2927405) and Los Angeles LGBT Center (Tax ID # 95-3567895), each of which is a nonprofit, public benefit corporation recognized as tax exempt under IRS Code Section 501(c)(3). Donations to AIDS/LifeCycle are deductible for income tax purposes, to the extent permitted by law. Vanessa Bowen (They/Them) is a Diné (Navajo) product designer and cyclist. Their work gravitates toward the intersection of design and social equity. Bowen is a former Outride Ambassador, current Chamois Butt’r and Kuat Racks Ambassador, founder of Get Native Kids on Bikes, and a supporter of AIDS/LifeCycle. If not creating in their studio in Albuquerque, they are training for a cycling event or community building for a just, equitable future (more info)
Sat 12 – 5 PM Day Camp - A Festival for Families Tin Can Alley, 6013 Signal Ave NE Day Camp is where adventure meets education, creativity, and community in a fair-like environment where a variety of youth development organizations are excited to share their programs. In partnership with Warehouse 505, and featuring organizations such as Explora, there will be workshops ands expos for kids to discover new passions across music, art, science, and more. Supporting Youth Security & Education, all dedicated funds raised will be going to New Mexico non-profit organizations
Sat 12 – 5 PM Monthly Pinball Tournament Sister, 407 Central Ave NW All skill levels and players welcome! 21+ Sign up starts at 12 pm; tournament play starts at 1 p.m. Entry fee is $5 + coin drop
Sat 1 – 5 PM United in Beer Collaboration Festival Ex Novo Brewing, 4895 Corrales Rd., Corrales United in Beer is a New Mexico statewide collaborative beer festival that benefits the Somos Unidos Foundation with 26 participating breweries, which were randomly partnered through a live draft and then together selected the beer style they would collaborate on. All beers will be showcased at the festival. Tickets are limited. Portions of ticket sales will donated to Somos Unidos Foundation, a 501(c)(3) dedicated to creating positive outcomes for New Mexicans through art, sport, community, and unity. This will be a 21+ Event. Food trucks will be on site. Included with ticket purchase is: Festival access, 8 drink tokens, and a United In Beer glass! We recommend bringing: Sunscreen, your friends, and good vibes
Sat 1 – 10 PM Boots In The Park Presents Thomas Rhett, Chris Young & Friends! Balloon Fiesta Park, 5000 Balloon Fiesta Pkwy Dust off your boots and get ready to holler, because Boots In The Park is making it's way to Albuquerque, y'all! Join us for a rootin', tootin', two-steppin' good time with none other than Thomas Rhett, Chris Young, Chris Janson, Kameron Marlowe, Dylan Schneider, Leaving Austin and beats by Luwiss Lux. We're talking about an evening filled to the brim with live tunes, finger-lickin' craft food, and the smoothest cocktails. We'll be kicking up dust with some good ol' line dancing and a whole heap more, as Balloon Fiesta Park is transformed into Albuquerque's best country music party! Past folks to grace the Boots In The Park stage are Carrie Underwood, Blake Shelton, Tim McGraw, Cody Johnson, Jon Pardi and a bunch of other country legends. But this day is gonna be one for the record books, a show that will leave y'all talking for years to come (tickets)
Sat 2 PM Annual Castro Concerto Competition Albuquerque Youth Symphony, 4407 Menaul Blvd. NE Join us to hear talented high school juniors compete for the privilege of performing with the Youth Symphony during the Albuquerque Youth Symphony Program's 2024-2025 concert season! This event is free and open to the public. We also plan to stream this event live on Facebook for anyone not able to attend in person
Sat 2 PM "Greatest Moments" - a fundraising concert for Opera On Tap New Mexico Central United Methodist Church, 201 University Blvd. NE Join us for an afternoon of music to help raise money for Opera on Tap - New Mexico! Featuring some faculty and students of University of New Mexico, along with other local professionals, we have put a program together highlighting some of the show-stopping, beautiful moments of opera and musical theater! Suggested donation $10
Sat 2 – 7 PM Rawking: An Afternoon Metal + Art + Comedy Extravaganza Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Featured performers include Light Thief, Destroy to Recreate, Guvtika, Abandoned Saviors. outdoors on the patio with Four Bands, Comedians, Artists, Vendors. Produced by Metal World Radio. 21+. $10 at the door or presales online
Sat 3 – 8 PM Albuquerque Roller Derby presents: Sandia Slammers vs. Bosque Bruisers! Expo New Mexico - Manuel Lujan Jr Exhibit Complex, 300 San Pedro Dr. NE Albuquerque Roller Derby has gotten SO big we’ve split into two teams! Sandia Slammers & Bosque Bruisers! Get your tickets for our first Home Game of the 2024 season
Sat 3:45 – 5:45 PM AND 7 - 9 PM The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 Flix Brewhouse, 3236 La Orilla Rd. NW Experience the Twilight saga's epic romance and thrilling fantasy BREAKING DAWN - PART 1 on the big screen! Bella and Edward, plus those they love, must deal with the chain of consequences brought on by a marriage, honeymoon, and the tumultuous birth of a child, which brings about unforeseen and shocking developments for Jacob Black (tickets)
Sat 4 – 8 PM Drink Local Downtown ABQ - May Step into the heart of Albuquerque with our thrilling, free monthly bar crawl event! Immerse yourself in the local charm as we celebrate community, culture, and creativity right in the heart of ABQ. In partnership with ABQCore Neighborhood Association, a locally organized and hosted event, we're bringing you a bar crawl experience like no other. This isn't just a crawl; it's a vibrant celebration of local businesses, a showcase of community talent, and a monthly escape into the unique flavors that make ABQ special
Sat 4 – 9 PM Summer Market ABQ Food Park, 6951 San Antonio Dr. NE Dive into the magic of summer evenings at ABQ Food Park with our captivating Summer Market! Join us for a delightful evening, where you can browse an enchanting array of offerings from local artisans and support our vibrant community businesses. Discover unique treasures crafted with love and passion by talented artisans, from handcrafted jewelry to exquisite home decor. Every purchase you make supports local creators and contributes to the thriving arts scene in our city
Sat 5 – 8 PM National Astronomy Day! Rainbow Park Observatory, 301 Southern Blvd SE, Rio Rancho The Rio Rancho Astronomical Society will host National Astronomy Day at Rainbow Park Observatory. There will be food for a donation, family activities and safe solar viewing. Dr. Tony Hull will appeal at 7 pm about his work on the James Webb Space Telescope. He will also have some info on light pollution
Sat 5 – 11 PM Beer & Jazz on the Hill Tractor Brewing, 122 Tulane Dr. SE We're bringing you a full night of brews and Jazz with the very talented Rona & Meli opening things up at 5pm and our house Jazz band Basilaris Trio closing things down at 8!
Sat 6 PM Bear Affair 4: Spanish Tapas Beer Pairing Dinner Boxing Bear Brewing, 8420 Firestone Ln. NE Join us on our patio for an ALMOST summer night paired with a variety of our seasonal beers, chef-crafted Spanish tapas, and flamenco. Featuring chef Christopher Midyette And the artist dance group Spanish Broom. Tickets are $65 per person and include a welcome beer, three course tapas style meal with beer pairings and entertainment for the evening
Sat 6 PM One Year Anniversary Celebration Urbanmama505 Kombucha, 1014 Central Ave SW, Ste A Celebrating one year of love, abundance, and sharing wellness. Right after Open Mic 4-6pm, we will be graced with a jazz concert by Davis Nelson-Hooker, an amazing local musician. Elixirs and small plates for purchase
Sat 6 – 9 PM Gone Country Saturdays with DJ Soiree Ponderosa Brewing, 1761 Bellamah Ave NW It's Gone Country Saturdays featuring the amazing DJ Soiree! Start your evening with free dance lessons at 5 pm, followed by family-friendly entertainment
Sat 7:30 – 9 PM Saturday Night Stand-Up Bosque Brewing Co - Nob Hill, 106 Girard Blvd. SE Live from ABQ, it’s… Saturday Night Stand-Up Hosted by Nax Davis! Every third Saturday of the month! Seating at 7:30 - Comedy at 8. Featured line-up of local comics includes: MEG FINN, BRYAN LAMBE, SARINA OCHOA, MARY BYRD, ROBERT EYSTER
Sat 8 PM – 1:15 AM Apparition Goth Night Historic El Rey Theater, 622 Central Ave SW A hauntingly dark, classic goth night featuring the Apparition team: DJ Ren, DJ Batboy, DJ Moonside. Doors at 8. $10 all night. 21+ Tickets at the door. Expect goth, darkwave, death rock, synthpop, dark post punk, ebm, dark dance, industrial, witch house, horror punk and more
Sat 8:30 PM – 1 AM SABOR Latin Night - SATURDAYS Bama's 1865, 6007 Osuna Rd. NE May 11th - SPECIAL GUEST DJ ITALIA! DJ Gabriel Goza & DJ Pedro will be serving you the saucy Salsa, Bachata, Cumbia, Merengue y Mas! Ample Parking, Safe Environment, Beautiful Venue, Good Food, Good Music, Good Vibes. 21+ / $10 cover
Sat 9 PM – 1 AM Cumbia + Rock en Espanol Juno, 1501 1st St. NW Grupo Super Verza with Ave. 69 and Lot Beat and DJ Tony. Baila! 21+, $15 at the door or online
** Sun 5/19 *\*
Sun 9 – 11 AM Elevated Roller Derby May Training Scrimmage Heights Community Center, 823 Buena Vista Dr. SE Officials' huddle 9:00AM. Captains' meeting at 9:20AM. First whistle 9:30AM. This is simply a black/white scrimmage. It will be used as an educational opportunity. NSO paperwork will be used as appropriate. You are encouraged to stretch your skills. Hospitality: This is a low/no production scrimmage, bring beverages and snacks for your own use. Bathrooms: The community center may not be open during the scrimmage. (That's the trade-off for a free space). You can stop at the nearby Starbucks before the event. Expectations: Skaters and Skating and Non-skating Officials are expected to follow all WFTDA Risk Management Guidelines. The venue is a designated alcohol, drug, and smoke-free space by the city of Albuquerque (sign up)
Sun 10 AM – 2 PM The Great Burque Bake On Rail Yards Market, 777 1st St. SW Get ready to whisk it all at the "Great Burque Bake-on," a special fundraiser for the non-profit Rail Yards Market: One dozen of Albuquerque's most talented bakers will dough head-to-head in a crusty competition for the ultimate bakery glory! Bakers brawl... You vote for the winners! This sugar-dusted showdown promises a blend of flour-fueled drama and buttery bravado, making it the yeast you can do to support your local confectionery champions. As these culinary wizards knead their way to the top, we guarantee you'll find their efforts both batter and sweeter than anything you've tasted before. Join us for a day of laughter, pastry, and a chance to see who rises as the crème de la crème of Burque's baking scene! 1) ORDER > Claim your Bake-on Box & exclusive market swag by ordering online May 10-16th, 2024. 2) LEARN > Follow our social media to learn about each contestant & their offering. 3) PICKUP > Grab your box of baked goodies & swag at the info booth Sunday May 19th. 4) ENJOY > Eat all the delectable goodies, savor the flavor, and read about all the contestants 5) VOTE >> Submit your votes online to choose the winners! (tickets) The Farmers' Market event is going down simultaneously with 175+ local vendors to explore, and is still FREE to enter and welcome to all. This funky fundraiser is going down during the FREE Rail Yards Farmers' Market. So you can peruse 150+ small businesses and enjoy the historic architecture while you enjoy your Great Burque Bake-on Box of goodies! All proceeds will benefit the Rail Yards Market. The Rail Yards market of Albuquerque is a certified 501(c)3 non-profit focused on building a resilient, sustainable, local economy where the surrounding historic communities thrive, all can participate, and everyone is enriched and inspired. Through food, art, education, and music, we invite the community together in an inclusive and festive atmosphere
Sun 11:30 AM The Addams Family Historic Lobo Theater, 3013 Central Ave NE THE HISTORIC LOBO THEATER is excited to bring The Addams Family to the big screen! Showing Starts at 11:30 am Tickets are ONLY $10 for General Admission $25 Brunch and a Movie Ticket $21 Brunch Only ticket
Sun 12:30 PM Annual Spring Tea Asbury UMC, 10000 Candelaria Rd. NE All are welcome to attend our Annual Spring Tea! This year's theme is "The Tapestries of Our Lives." Life can be like a tapestry; our quilt, with events, feelings, accomplishments, and even disappointments "stitched" in. Join us, for tea, while Cindy Kurey, AQS-certified quilted textiles appraiser, shares how quilting and her faith have helped her navigate life. She will also show her collection of antique, vintage, and modern quilts! There is no cost to attend, though RSVPs are required. Please call the church office 505-299-0643 or message us on Facebook to RSVP

Raising funds for my youth group to get to an international camporee in August. Trying to price a Memorial Weekend car wash fundraiser. What would you be willing to pay for a car wash and dry? It will be in a small town in Virginia. I was thinking of making it free for active duty & veterans, and $20 for the rest. Thoughts?
Although I'm here for advice, you are welcomed to donate to the cause.
Thank you.

My sons (8) father passed away in February 2024. I opened the application for Survivors Benefits in Mar. My case manager advised that I needed to submit documentation proving paternity. I just never made my way to drop off these documents as I was busy being a freaking single mom. I also didn't think I needed to do it quickly.
I received a letter today (dated 4/30) stating that my son was denied Survivors Benefits because he's not the dependent or widow.
I'm really confused. Why would it be denied for this and not for failure to submit documentation proving paternity? Why was it denied at all? Does the application expire?
I'm going to call tomorrow morning, but all I have is Google and Reddit for now.
Thank you 😊.

I recently received a conditional acceptance as a non-EU student and had some questions about the documents I have to prove to receive my letter of acceptance.
I received an email that says I need to submit the same documents I would for regular admission so they can send them to the Ministry to authenticate my studies.
I need some clarification about Article 20. Part (6)[Medical Insurance] and Part (9)[Signed application form].
I am still determining what medical insurance they want me to provide. Are they asking me to get an insurance provider from Romania or to know if I have medical insurance in my home country?
I also need to find out what application form they are talking about.
If you are interested, these requirements can be found in Article 20, per their methodology document.
I would greatly appreciate your assistance. If I cannot find anything here, I will email the university and ask for further details. Your help in this matter is invaluable to me.
My apologies if the post is too long,
thank you.

I wrote it on a piece of paper and sent it to his dm and he replied to me
“Your letter was wonderfully written, it's much more authentic to your character than just texting it out”
And I asked him what is that supposed to mean and he said
“It's just more of a genuine representation of who you are. Seeing that I could take a guess that you like reading, poetry, or literature since you like to writing things out”
And I said “It’s kinda weird” (bc most people would text it out but I write it instead)
He replied me
“It's not weird at all, in fact I commend you for putting your words and feelings out there!”
And he said
“It's difficult for me to share said feelings given our circumstances, but I have never felt weird talking to you, and I like that we have connections over many topics”
he likes anime and so do I and he told me most of the people at his school don’t even know what that is
And i said Thanks to him because i feel so relieved. He replied
“Of course, and thank you for being yourself”
“And like you said, we can totally keep chatting about whatever whenever” because in the letter I told him that he can reject me if he didn’t feel the same way but don’t ghost
And then i said
“I thought you were going to feel bad about what I just told”
He replied
“I wouldn't do that, I should show you respect for opening up”
My question is
Was he reject me in a kindness way? because he didn’t say anything about how he felt for me but complimented me and encouraged me
Ps. He’s younger than me 1 year and he’s kinda nerd (not like wearing glasses and always study) and so polite and respectful
Ps 2. We never met because I live in another country
Thank you all!