I (26F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been doing LDR for about a year and a half now from different countries. I currently live by myself in a quiet quant US beach town that iv had the pleasure of living in for 10 years. To say I LOVE it here, is an understatement. He lives with his parents/family in the EU. After a year he decided it was time for us to make moves to live together because neither of us can stand the distance if it were up to us.
My job allows me to work from wherever I want so it makes more sense for me to move to his country which is absolutely no problem for me. Im actually really excited about it. When I fly and I land in his country/city I feel the same love and excitement I do when I land where I live.
In Europe things move so slow(paperwork wise IYKYK) and we put in with this apartment company 6 months ago in the beginning of December. The plan was to move out of my apartment, move in with my parents for a few months until we hear from the apartment company. I never loved this idea as I havent lived home in 10 years. My parents/family are wonderful and we are tight knit but I never thought at my age Id move back in with them. I dont want to, but was willing to thinking we would have an update relatively soon.
My lease where I live ends in July, but they need to know if I am renewing by May 30th(10 days from today). Im really torn on what to do because of course the only thing I want right now is to close the distance between him and I, but it feels silly of me to get rid of my apartment when theres nothing to move into yet. Not only is there nothing to move in to but no update or ANYTHING about if we are approved or where we are in the process after SIX MONTHS!
Today I brought up the idea to him that maybe they will let me sign a 6 month lease so that will buy us time. He got mad and can barely even have a real conversation with me. Iv been telling him for MONTHS that I would really appreciate if he can make calls/appointments to try going to the office on his day off to see if he can speak with someone who can give us the slightest clue as to where we are at in this process. So now after I mentioned the 6 month lease thing he’s going on about how he made so much of an “effort” to try to figure this out and make appointments with the company to see whats going on. I believe he really has tried but never was able to actually get in with them or whatever. And I tell him that I appreciate him trying but to protect my happiness, i think 6 more months wouldn’t be a bad idea. He cant understand why I would do this, and I cant understand why this is a problem?
I understand its a lot of pressure on him to make this work but because I am moving to HIS country, where I do not speak the language, he does have to step up and be the one to work things out with the company. I told him so many times how appreciated it is and if I can do ANYTHING to take any load off of him to let me know. Its just- to me it seems like he’s not doing ENOUGH and he has no sense of urgency for this situation as Im about to lose my apartment because he cant go down there on his day off to figure things out. This is my life we are talking about and he doesn’t seem to even care. Does it not click that I am literally moving across the pond for him?
AITA for wanting to sign my lease for 6 more months just to see where things go? AITA for thinking he just isn’t doing enough to make this work?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXptmBE3QFo

Ken Burns and Kristina Tippett, shared by a member of our congregation. At about 18:40, they start talking about the role of religion needing to be reclaimed, and I think that what UU has tried and failed to do in the last few decades, and still needs to, is in there somewhere. I think we have a long road to figuring out, to summoning a kind of common moral vocabulary, not just for being religious, but for being alive, being human beings in this century. I will say that I have never in my lifetime felt that overtly theological language, or let's say spiritual technologies, that our great traditions have carried forward like contemplation, that those things have never been more relevant than they are before. Just language, like language which has practices attached, which is true of our, you know, lamentation, confession, repentance, redemption. Those are words and actions that come to us from this part of the human enterprise, nowhere else, and I see people reaching for those. I see young people reaching for what those things represent for, you know, being drawn to that language, being drawn to communities of service for example. Even without this upbringing, I think a lot, I have thought a lot in these recent years about Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the German theologian. Bonhoeffer's situation was that, in Nazi Germany, the church had been absolutely co-opted by fascism. It had fallen away completely. And he began to speak of something called religionist Christianity. And what he was saying is that Christianity had brought truths into the world which would survive even if the institutions failed. And he said the institutions will always fail. I don't think you can make a one to one comparison of Bonhoeffer's Germany and 21st century America, but this notion of religionless Christianity or religionless religion feels resonant to me. And not just in the fact that we are religionless, you know, compared to previous generations, but what that means is that we are inside this project of looking again at what those truths are that we need, and those, really, those moral muscles, and again, those spiritual technologies. There is also a transcript if like me you would rather read than listen.

I 30 m Swede decided one day roughly two months back I wanted to brush up on my Spanish. I went out on a language exchange app called Speaky and while for the most part the experience was miserable I started talking to a pleasant mexican woman (30). Initially my intentions were purely to learn Spanish, and we had good fun showing small tidbits of our every day life to each other.
She quickly asked to switch to whatsapp, which typically is one of those red flags which you read on every romance scam article. I however didn't mind much because Speaky was full of sleazy eggplant emojis and accounts asking for hookups as well as bots. Besides, at this point I my headspace was that I would never meet this person anyways. There we were chatting as well as doing some video calls. We quickly started chatting every day.
But of course there's more to this story otherwise I wouldn't be writing here. She came across as lightly flirty and I just figured it was good fun and didn't mind (again, I was never supposed to meet this woman). However, things evolved into more explicit proclamations of romantic interest from poth parties involved (another red flag due to the short time that has passed). She also starting sending these really cute messages to me on the regular which I initially thought nothing of but now might consider lovebombing (third red flag).
Eventually talk went to the idea of me going to visit her (Figured I'd do the traveling since I'm from a wealthier country.) That's when, roughly two weeks back, my warning bells went off and all these suspicions came rushing all at once. And I directly confronted her about them.
Now this far down it might seem like a dead ringer for a romance scam, but there is more to it. She has showed me pictures from her university she studied at which seem legit as well as images from her work. She has a substantial amount of followers on social media with certain videos reaching millions of viewers (and from what I've seen no bitter person accusing her of being a scammer or not either). She claims she's from a well off family with roots from Spain and even Germany which she sent me images of. She even sent me photos of an ID (which frankly made me uncomfortable) with the same last name as some of those old (supposedly) family pictures. She has never asked me for money either which she did point out.
This soothed me and perhaps rashly I bought tickets to Mexico shortly after. We continued talking and had fun chatting. After some time we also engaged in some explicit video call activity as well as send NSFW pics to each other. Quite quickly we also talked of future plans (which makes sense if it was legit since just visiting each other would take a big investment) and we both stated we wanted something long term with children and marriage and the whole deal with the idea of her moving to Sweden if all would work out (which could be construed as another red flag as supposedly traditional family warnings is also sign).
I had up to this point mentioned it to a few friends but not to my mother. When I finally did tell her she INSTANTLY went to the idea of it being a scam (she might also be the most cynical person I know). Some time later I worked up the courage (I didn't want her to dislike my mother) to tell my Mexican friend of my mother's reaction and we talked about what we could do about it and decided on me showing my mother what had already been shown to me as well as have them having a video call so my mother could ask questions directly. I talked with my mother and it was decided, however as the day approached my mother said she felt too uncomfortable with idea of the video call so instead she and just had a long talk about the risks both of Mexico in general and romance scams. She painted quite a gruesome picture (she's quite good at it). She also had some questions to send to my Mexican woman.
Passport, home adress, name of her company. She also suggested for me to reverse image search the photos I had been sent, which I did (I just got the social media pictures to no big surprise). She also wanted me to ask for me and my mexican friend to instead meet in Spain as that had been mentioned between us and it would be neutral ground.
Being the mama's boy that I am I obliged. To which my mexican friend got upset, now whether that is from justified disappointment due to my distrust or from manipulation I cannot tell, and she was not keen on traveling to Spain (we had also been talking about my visit to Mexico for a while now), atleast not now, initially. She did however send me photos of her passport and home adress.
She asked what I thought of it all and I said I wasn't sure. It ended with a quite cold conclusion that I needed time to mull things over.
If you've read this far I thank you, wholeheartedly.
Now I sit here with a ticket to mexico (if it isn't used I will consider it an expensive life lesson). A mother who considers Mexico to be the most dangerous place in the world (and me partly agreeing) - my stay would be in CDMX which I've heard is relatively safe.
If I were to travel to Mexico what would be the risks, would they be greater from her knowimg of my coming or they as great if I just traveled alone as a nordic man?
Any other thoughts? Is this a romance scam or not?
Thanks.

I posted on here a couple days ago sharing that I wish this sub was more into actual onomastics. Many people in the comments shared my sentiment but I was also told by many to be the change I want to see. This is my attempt at that 😊.
Here’s a sneak peak into my notes app. All the names I can think of that derive from or share roots with the Hebrew male name ‘Yochanan’. The meaning "God is gracious." This ancient name has given rise to a diverse array of beautiful variations across different cultures and languages, for both males and females. Let's explore as many of them as we can!
Male Variations:
John - The classic English form, widely used in many English-speaking countries.
Johannes - A formal and elegant variant found in German, Dutch, Scandinavian, and other European cultures.
Juan - The Spanish version, common throughout Spain and Latin America.
Jean - The French adaptation, pronounced with a soft "J" sound.
Giovanni - The melodious Italian version, often associated with historical and cultural figures.
Johann - Another German variant, frequently seen in Central Europe.
Ivan - The Slavic take on Yochanan, popular in Russia, Ukraine, and other Slavic countries.
Ioan - The Romanian and Welsh version, each with its unique pronunciation.
Jan - Used in Dutch, Polish, Czech, and Scandinavian languages, a simple yet strong variant.
Evan - The Welsh form, which has gained popularity in English-speaking countries as well.
Hans - A diminutive form of Johannes, widely used in Germany and Scandinavia.
Hannes - A short and sweet version, popular in Scandinavia and German-speaking countries.
Sean - The Irish adaptation, reflecting the unique linguistic flair of the Irish language.
Shane - An Anglicized version of Sean, common in English-speaking countries.
Jonas - A variant used in several languages, including German, Lithuanian, and Scandinavian countries.
Johan - A simplified version of Johannes, used in many European countries.
Gianni - An affectionate diminutive of Giovanni, frequently heard in Italy.
Yannis - The Greek variant
Ioannis - The formal Greek form, often used in official contexts.
Iwan - A Welsh and Polish version, similar yet distinct.
Eoin - Another Irish version, pronounced similarly to Owen.
Iain - The Scottish Gaelic form, adding a Celtic twist.
Eoghan - An Irish variant, often Anglicized to Owen.
Johannus - A Latinized form, used historically and in ecclesiastical contexts.
Juhani - The Finnish variant
Juha - A shorter Finnish form of Juhani.
Johan - Common in Scandinavian countries as a simpler form of Johannes.
Jón - The Icelandic and Faroese variant.
Janek - A diminutive form used in Poland.
João - The Portuguese version, common in Portugal and Brazil.
Juanito - A diminutive and affectionate form used in Spanish-speaking regions.
Giovannino - An affectionate Italian diminutive of Giovanni.
Yochanan - The original Hebrew form, still somewhat used in Jewish communities.
Hovhannes - The Armenian version, reflecting the rich heritage of Armenia.
Yehohanan - Another Hebrew variant, with a slightly different pronunciation.
Iohannes - The Latin version, used in historical texts and ecclesiastical contexts.
Janusz - A Polish variant, adding a Slavic twist.
Juozas - The Lithuanian variant, common in Lithuania.
Jovan - A South Slavic variant, used in Serbia, Montenegro, and Macedonia.
Joona - A Finnish form, slightly different from Juhani.
Jānis - The Latvian variant, reflecting the unique Latvian language.
Ivano - An Italian variant, particularly used in Southern Italy.
Jani - A Hungarian form, short and sweet.
Yann - A Breton variant, popular in Brittany, France.
Juhana - Another Finnish variant, used less commonly.
Juhános - A Hungarian form with a unique twist.
Ivo - Used in several European countries, including Italy and Croatia.
Yohannes - An Ethiopian form, reflecting the Amharic language.
Juhász - A Hungarian occupational surname derived from the name.
Johni - A colloquial English variant, often used informally.
Chananya- Another Hebrew variant in which the prefix has been moved to the suffix position.
Female Variations:
Jane - The classic English female form.
Joan - An older English form, also found in Catalan.
Jean - Used as a female name in Scotland and English-speaking countries.
Joanna - An elegant English form, also common in Polish and other languages.
Johanna - A formal version used in many European countries.
Giovanna - The beautiful Italian variant.
Ivana/Ivanka - The feminine form of Ivan, used in Slavic countries.
Juana - The Spanish female form.
Juanita - A diminutive and affectionate Spanish form.
Siobhán - The Irish Gaelic form, pronounced "shiv-AWN."
Shawn - A modern English variant, sometimes used for girls.
Shawna - A feminine form of Shawn.
Joanne - A combination of Jo and Anne, popular in English-speaking countries.
Joanina - A Portuguese diminutive form.
Jovana - A South Slavic female variant.
Jovanka - Another South Slavic variant, adding a diminutive suffix.
Zhanna - The Russian and Bulgarian form.
Jana - Used in many European countries, including Czech Republic, Slovakia, and Germany.
Janka - A diminutive form used in Slovakia and Poland.
Janina - Used in Poland and Lithuania.
Johanne - A French female variant.
Ioana - The Romanian female form.
Yana - A diminutive form used in various Slavic languages.
Vania - A Bulgarian and Russian diminutive form.
Gianna - A popular Italian diminutive form.
Hannah* - While it has a slightly different biblical origin, the root of the word is the same.
Annie/Anne/Anna* - A diminutive of Chana, related through its meaning and use.
Janice - A modern English variant.
Janet - Another English diminutive form.
Janelle - A modern elaboration of Jane.
Johnetta - An English variant combining John with a feminine suffix.
Jeanette- A French diminutive from.
*Yochanan means G-d is Gracious. The ‘Yo-‘ prefix relates to G-d. ‘Chanan’ therefore is the masculine version of ‘Chana’, meaning grace. Chana is where we get Hannah, Anne etc.
I hope you enjoyed and I look forward to making more posts like these in the future! Also I apologise if I got any of the above wrong- I’m by no means an expert I just really like names!
Feel free to share your favourites or comment any I missed!

The night was bone-chillingly cold. The slightest whisper of a breeze nipped at my exposed ears and drafted unpleasantly within my overly large winter coat. The black, barren trees stood unmoving like sentinels bearing ominously down upon either side of the sleet-slick street, which was lit only by dim street lamps that, other than creating a dull yellow reflection on the otherwise unlit pavement, seemed to do nothing against the oppressing dark of this fateful December night.
I had passed through a wrought iron gate twenty minutes before, the gate that separated a cozy subdivision from this eerie, undeveloped stretch of road that seemed to be dropped in the middle of the forest. I could think only of my warm, lively hearth and a nice, hot cup of tea between my palms, which now, instead of being pressed against warm porcelain, were being stabbed by my untrimmed fingernails as I tightened my fist onto the leash and plunged the other still deeper into my coat.
This night was the culmination of weeks of investigation on a missing person’s case turned sour. A man named Arthur Smith had reported his four daughters missing, then hung himself three days later when we couldn’t find anything. Oddly, Arthur’s body went missing from the morgue shortly after. The only trace left was an incredible amount of flies, and we were displeased to see that every drawer was leaking a mixture of blood and embalming fluid because the refrigerant pipes burst. When we opened them up, the neck of every corpse had been slit.
Eventually, through good detective work, we were able to connect some dots, and that led us to where we were now: We were now on a manhunt for a suspect that was last seen at a gas station about a mile up the road, not two hours earlier. We checked a network of cameras to see that he had headed for the woods, grabbed the hounds, and here we were.
My colleagues and I were spread around in different parts of the forest with the police force’s seven bloodhounds. I got stuck with Old Ben, the force’s droopiest and most seasoned canine. He was partially blind and notorious for not obeying commands. He didn’t even respond to a dog whistle, which was why some of my colleagues thought his hearing was shot. I doubted this theory, though, because sure enough, when somebody whispered the word “biscuit,” Old Benny perked up and started wagging his tail.
Another ten minutes found Old Benny and I at the end of the once seemingly endless street, with the streetlamps and pavement stopping abruptly at the edge of the woods, which had not entirely swallowed up a bulldozer. Old Ben stopped and sniffed the air for a moment, then plunged down a path in the woods to our right. It was a dirt path, not two feet wide, overgrown and partially washed out, making it an unpleasant and muddy journey from here on out.
…
My flashlight was now the only source of light illuminating our way. Its beam slid over roots and rocks that jutted out of the path at odd angles and briefly swept over the nearest trees, bringing them out of the shadow for a moment. I felt claustrophobic as they bore down upon me and upon the path. The only sound was my deep breathing, my sloppy footsteps, and Benny’s blundering in the mud about ten feet in front of me.
The path turned in such a way that I could see faint moonlight up ahead, but a cloud soon covered the moon and removed the slight comfort its light had provided. I continued following the curve of the path, and pointed my flashlight up ahead. Suddenly, everything was pitch black, as my flashlight had just gone out without a flicker. I was especially annoyed because firstly, I had just replaced the batteries earlier that week, and secondly, I caught a glimpse of the dark outline of what seemed to be a small cottage up ahead, which was now invisible in the darkness.
To my surprise, Benny stopped as soon as the light went out, which made it easy for me to replace the batteries with the ones that I always carried around in my service belt. To my dismay, Benny did not continue walking when the light flickered back on, even when I started tugging on his leash. He simply sat in the mud and peered at the cottage in the distance, which I knew for a fact he couldn’t see. The cottage was incredibly run down, but I couldn’t see much more, as it was just at the edge of my flashlight beam.
I began feeling uneasy when Benny started whimpering and backing away, tail between his legs. Our dogs were trained to bark when they found something, not stand still, and certainly not whine and back away. Old Ben had never been a skittish animal; I had never seen him act like this before. I peered back at the cottage, suspecting something more sinister than I was originally prepared for.
I tied Benny loosely around a nearby tree, so he could pull away if need be, pulled out my handgun, and continued on. Not fifteen seconds later, I was hit with the smell of blood and wet dog, and heard whimpering to my left. I told Benny to stay, and turned to find him where I left him, about twenty yards behind me, looking at me like I was insane. I bent down and examined the source of the noise, only to find one of our bloodhounds laying just off the path and covered in a mixture of mud and its own blood. It was missing its hind legs and was shivering badly. I cursed and dispatched it with a quick slit with my utility knife, then unclipped its collar and stuffed it into my pocket before turning away. I did not want to alert the suspect of my position. I grew worried about the location of my colleagues, as our dogs were trained not to run off. I also wondered what kind of predator would have taken only the hind legs of an animal. I tried not to think about it as I continued on.
As the cottage grew nearer, I was able to make out a few broken windows reflecting my light back at me. Through these I was able to see that the inside of the cottage was pitch black, the darkest black I had ever seen. I walked closer still, and I couldn’t stop looking into the darkness of the cottage. The darkness was so potent it seemed to be spilling over the window sill into the crisp night air. I felt consumed. My heart began pounding within my chest, and I felt colder than ever as I stepped toward the gravel path that led around to the left of the cottage. The sudden change in surface and the sound of my feet crunching upon the gravel seemed to break my trance, and I shuddered.
I didn’t know why I had felt so trapped, and I didn’t like it. Something was definitely wrong with this situation, and my feelings of dread intensified as I followed the gravel path around to the front of the cottage.
A dripping noise interrupted my thoughts and temporarily washed the dread from my mind. I paused. I determined it was coming from the direction I was headed, but I couldn’t see the front door yet as the porch was draped with ivy. I was suddenly hit with the putrid smell I knew all too well: the smell of death. It hit my nostrils like a truck and returned my feelings of dread all at once. I shined my beam to the front steps.
There was a dark, red liquid trickling gently down the steps, pooling under the porch: blood. I looked up onto the front porch, now visible, and saw the torso of a man hanging from his neck about three feet away from the front door. His legs were nowhere to be seen, though there was a blood trail leading into the house, and his glistening entrails swayed sickeningly with the light breeze. Blood was pooling below him, trickling down the steps, and down through the cracks in the porch. It had begun coagulating, and dark swirling orbs rotated in the puddle each time a drop splashed down. I looked up again at the carcass and recognized the man as our suspect. There was frost beginning to form at the edges of his mouth and over his glassy eyes, but his exposed entrails were still steaming. Furthermore, the blood dripping from his wound was still deep red in color. The back of my neck prickled and I knew this man had not been hanging for very long. No, not very long at all.
I raised my pistol and nudged the front door open. I was again hit with the smell of death, though now much stronger, so strong I could scarcely draw breath. The inside of the cottage was unbelievably dank, and the darkness seemed to eat the quivering beam of light I pointed out in front of me, so I couldn’t see ten feet forward.
I heard a sharp crack and I bolted my gaze to my feet. I had just stepped on a human rib. Suddenly the cottage came alive with creaking and shuffling. I heard flies buzzing all around me. I heard a raspy rushing noise to my right. I shined my flashlight to where I thought the noise was coming from, but all I saw was a bloodstained floor and darkness out in front of me. I took a step toward the noise, and the beam of light revealed the glistening mangled corpse of a man, missing most of his skin, hunched in the corner of the cottage. His whole torso was heaving, and I saw the rushing noise was coming from the base of his throat, where a large gash was opening and closing with every breath, spraying flecks of fluid. Maggots wriggled out of his wound, and black purge fluid trickled from his soupy eye sockets, his missing nose, and his gaping mouth. He was missing most of his teeth, and one of his cheeks was rotted through.
I was frozen in place with fear, until, to my horror, the man’s mangled arm rose and reached out to me. At this I aimed and put a bullet through his partially exposed skull, splattering a putrid mist on the wall behind him. Instead of slumping over, as I prayed he would, the man slowly levitated into an upright position as though controlled by a puppeteer. Skin began regrowing around his legs, his torso, and eventually his skull, which sprouted two bloody horns out of his forehead. This being had the likeness of Arthur Smith, though I sensed it was no longer him. I placed two rounds into his torso, and the being staggered, but the bullet wounds simply closed with sickening squelching sounds. I backed away slowly, and he simply stood in the corner and leered at me with burning black eyes and a disconcerting grin.
I continued to back away slowly, placing one more round between his eyes. His head jerked back, but still it healed and he seemed unbothered. I bolted around and headed for the door. I jerked the handle but it wouldn't budge. I tried kicking it down, which was something I was very practiced at, but still, the rotten oak planks held fast against my will. I turned around, back against the door, firearm at the ready, and stared into the blackness. Everything was quiet once again. Despite the temperature, cold sweat beaded upon my brow and dribbled down my neck.
Suddenly I felt a rumbling that seemed to come from the very depths of the Earth. A splitting and splintering sound came from what I presumed was the center of the cottage, and I was soon showered with bits of wood and stone that nicked my exposed skin and drew droplets of blood. I noticed my back was no longer pressed against the back of the door, though I was not moving. The floor seemed to be carrying me slowly in the direction of the noise. I was frozen in place, and found that I could not change my trajectory.
My flashlight beam found the edge of a large hole in the floor. I saw dark, root-like tendrils sprout from the hole and rush across the floor with the sound of scraping and splintering. They then returned to the hole, and they had within their grasp six bare human bodies, which I horrifically realized were those of my now former colleagues. I watched in horror as their pale naked bodies were folded, torn, ripped, and broken in the churning earth. The sound of tearing flesh and cracking bone was deafening and filled the darkness of the cottage. The mass of mangled flesh formed into one chunky, glistening mound in the center of the hole. It began pulsing and rising, and horrible screams rang in my ears. I watched in horror as the mass formed a humanoid figure that rose up ten feet out of the hole and bent over against the ceiling. It was facing away from me, but its raspy voice seemed to mix seamlessly with the screams directly in my ears.
“The churning of earth, the tearing of flesh, the cracking of bone”
At this it let out a booming laugh that reverberated in my skull and shook the foundation of the building. The cottage once again came alive, but now more than ever before. Shutters were opening and closing, floorboards were rattling, flies swarmed in a huge mass around and around the room, blocking the beam of my flashlight and obscuring my view of the figure. I felt my legs quiver along with the rest of the cottage. I looked down at a red book with its pages fluttering in the still air. I dove for it and slammed it shut, and the cottage grew still. I paused for a moment, but the giant figure began turning towards me. I bolted around to see that the door was now open, but the hung corpse was clinging to the top of the door frame, now very much alive. Its entrails were still swinging freely from its short leap, and the rope lay severed and frayed upon the ground.
I paced towards the door, dumping the rest of my magazine into the corpse, which to my relief fell to the ground with a squelch. I hopped over the body and sprinted out the front door, away from the cottage, down the dirt path. I could still hear the screams of the damned faintly in the distance, and the earth began rumbling once again underneath my feet. I continued running back along the path, trying not to think about what I had witnessed. I paused for a moment to catch my breath, and shivered in the now relentless sleet.
The pounding of the earth became the distant rumble of thunder in the distance. By the time I had gotten back to the paved road, I was soaked to the bone in cold sweat and freezing rain, and I was covered up to my thighs in mud from the path. My coat was snagged and torn in places from the splinters of wood and from branches along the path.
When I finally got back to my car, I saw a leash leading underneath it, and found Old Ben, crouched below, tail between his legs. I scooped him up and plopped him in the passenger seat, entirely disregarding the former cleanliness of my car, as it was now covered in mud and dog hair. I cranked up the heat and sped off towards the station to report what I had witnessed.
…
We never did find that cottage again. Other guys went back to where I was and failed to find the path, but they did find the dismembered bodies of my colleagues hidden under the bulldozer at the end of the street. I was charged with the deaths of my colleagues and was thrown into a mental institute, but I don’t mind it much. There are people here that are far more insane than I am. The worst part is my occasional perception of a distant rumbling, and during thunderstorms I’m a whimpering mess.
I have been disciplined three times for writing symbols on the walls that I can’t get out of my head. I draw them in my blood so they stand out more and resemble what I see. I have found that once they are on the wall, they stay out of my head. Unfortunately, I haven’t finished writing them all out yet. The first time I started I got really close to finishing, but then I found myself strapped to a hospital bed.
The worst part of my new existence is the nightmares. I am plagued by images of my former colleagues: their pale dismembered bodies, the sound of cracking bone, their blood on my hands, their shrieks of pain, and the taste of flesh.

I have two dogs and each has a very different type of intelligence from the other. I will do my best to explain how one of them recently surprised me with her understanding of light and shadows.
In my house, like in many, the backyard sliding glass door sits unaligned to but opposite the front door, of which mine has a white-tinted sidelight. However, between the house layout and the backyard having so much vegetation, it is very rare for any angled light from the backyard to make it's way very far into the house. At least 99% of the time, if there is a shadow casted onto the sidelight of the front door, it is coming from someone/something outside of the front door (or from us and the lights in the house, but then the shadow is too large to define any figures). I make this a point to express that my dog's recent reaction was not based on any "training" or routine event.
Yesterday afternoon, an object I had been cleaning sat in my backyard in a way that it perfectly reflected the light of the sun through the backyard slider all the way to the sidelight of the front door. When I walked by, both of my dogs noticed the shadowed figure of a human on the sidelight and started barking at the person they thought might be out front. Trying to silence them, I opened the door so they could peek out and see no one was there. When they continued to see my shadow a few seconds later, "Dog A" ran back to the front door to sniff in confusion, as she just saw there was no one outside but yet had no other explanation for the shadow. This did not surprise me. However, Dog B instead ran to the back slider to bark and look for which human out back was walking around.
Now, clearly, neither of them were smart enough to immediately realize the shadow was being casted by me from inside the house (although they did eventually accept that fact after I showed them by picking one of them up to cast the shadow of a human holding a dog). However dog B knew that even though the shadow next to the front door is almost always coming from light/objects outside of it, it could instead be coming from behind her, outside of the backyard. This was against what she is used to... how could she consider the object was in the opposite direction if she didn't have such a good understanding of light and shadows?
I'm neither a journalist nor a scientist so pardon me for not having the right words to explain why this is an impressive observation. We are so quick to notice when our baby tracked an object with their eyes for the first time... We all understand the young infant's capability shown by that action. but when it comes to animals I think we often take these moments for granted without thinking of the intelligence value behind them. To me, this was as impressive as knowing a fish can pass the mirror test. And it shows that despite lack of a complex language like ours, animals are much smarter than we think.

Things I would tell you this week:
I am sorry I was not able to open up when we worked together like I can today, I see now how important this part is.
I figured out why my sleep paralysis demon is a door with light emitting from the edges, and it’s heart breaking. 💔, and I feel that sadness in my tummy and chest. I didn’t deserve that growing up. Currently though, I am very rarely having night mares.
I had the worse case of cold sweats a couple weeks ago when I restarted my attention med, it was horrible and I was so cold and so wet… and still trying to convince myself at first it was the humidity. After a few minutes I realized I am more sensitive to triggers because I had been off the med for so long. After a few days I was acclimated and doing fine.
Oh man…. This one is little more rough, those stubborn thought patterns. Recently I have been curious about my partners sexual interest because I saw a person he was following and they are a boudoir model. In his line of work this isn’t uncommon, they can be entertainers at events and clients, so I tried really hard to deal with it on my own and let it go. When we were first dating he was very elusive about what he used for aides when he was alone…. And my head took over and determined this was similar to past experiences so of course I needed pst behaviors? I had to face it last night.
So I asked ‘hey what do you like to look at’ body language and tone matter here, I was gentle and we had already covered the understanding that tools are used and ok. To which he was evasive again… took me right back to my past relationship. I was quick to tell him I could tell he was being dishonest and I had asked at the beginning of our relationship and he refused to answer and then say how it matters… it truly does matter in some cases because, for me, my ex partner was only attracted to blonde females… for 15 years everything he looked at and even the women who came in to my work asking if he treated me well were blonde, leaving me to never meet his standards.
Well when I got angry my partner got quiet and so I took that as my green light I was interpreting the situation right. I started the conversation… turned it into an argument… because I went directly back to thinking I was being lied to… I was the only one participating in this conversation/argument… and as I was talking I realized if he was capable of telling me he uses tools then I need to give him space to open up…. I let him know I just realized you were being honest and then asked again what his preference was. Took a minute but he shared and it actually made me feel better ❤️‍🩹. He likes a more natural body and that I can provide.
I did make note that he was being elusive but he is not my past partner and most people are not an open book like I am… so it was probably really intimidating to talk about.
For a second I felt extremely bad for falsely accusing him or over exaggerating my concerns… just for a second though because I gave him time to explain why he was quiet from upsetting him and acknowledged that’s ok, which means what I am worried about it ok too..
Interestingly… I had morning mental compulsions which I haven’t had for a long time now… and it was a phrase from a letter I read yesterday about ‘tossing salad’…. I fucking hate OCD… and the letter was like a train wreck, I really didn’t want to read it but I couldn’t stop reading it because the writer was so enthusiastic about this salad they wanted… and it adorable in a not so common adorable way! I was able to breath through most of it… and redirect my thinking to be mindful while working… but oh god did in interrupt my morning.
Oh and now I don’t have to feel bad for reading erotic stories! Win for me because I do enjoy them and they are the best with no guilt.
Thoughts I have been thinking: I wonder if Dairy Queen’s ice cream still has a lower melting point than Freddy’s. It’s been a few years now since I noticed and you know they pay people for that kind of research 🧐.
Still packing up all my intimate and strong attachment feelings and placing them on people who do not exist in my life but I will get there….
And it appears I working back to healthy levels of dissociation so I can do more… now that I am closing the gate to full emotional awareness, I realize this part of my disability is really handy. I am not necessarily closing the gate but I am allowing the emotional to pass quicker without being concerned if I am actually processing them.
I think I am ready to add exercise :)
I hope you guys have a great summer planned!!

There is a curious dynamic at work in politics these days. Trump does not appear to be trying to court voters to his standard. If he were, he would be reaching out to Nikki Haley voters and trying to moderate his stances. Instead, he is rejecting her voters and doubling down on extreme positions. Rather than trying to appeal to swing voters, he seems to be trying to whip up his right-wing base to engage in violence on his behalf. In Minnesota on Friday, Trump echoed fascists when he told supporters, "No matter how hateful and corrupt the communists and criminals we are fighting against may be, you must never forget this is not a nation that belongs to them. This is a nation that totally belongs to you. It belongs to you. This is your home, this is your heritage." Saturday, at the annual meeting of the National Rifle Association in Dallas, Texas, Trump floated the idea that he could throw out the constitutional amendment limiting a president to two terms. “You know, FDR 16 years—almost 16 years—he was four terms. I don’t know, are we going to be considered three-term? Or two-term?” he asked the crowd. Some yelled, “Three!” In the same speech, Trump told attendees that the Second Amendment “is very much on the ballot” in November, and he urged gun owners to vote and to “be rebellious.” Then he told the crowd that Biden’s actions were such that if he “were a Republican, he would have been given the electric chair, they would have brought back the death penalty.” This evening, Trump’s Instagram account posted a video of what a newspaper would look like after a 2024 MAGA win. Under the headline “WHAT’S NEXT FOR AMERICA?” were the words “INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASED DRIVEN BY THE CREATION OF A UNIFIED REICH,” a clear reference to fascism and German dictator Adolf Hitler’s Third Reich. It is not clear to me how anyone can any longer deny that Trump is promising to destroy our democracy and usher in authoritarianism. But it is also not clear that he is still a figure that any but the extremes of his base will follow to that end. Hence his emphasis on turning them to violence. His lies have become increasingly outrageous. On Friday he told a crowd in Minnesota that he won the state by “a landslide” in 2020 even though he actually lost it by more than 7 points. At the NRA annual meeting, Trump claimed that his former physician told him he is “healthier” and “a better physical specimen” than the famously athletic former president Barack Obama. At that same event he boasted that he won 31 club golf championships; the day before, he boasted that he won 29. Significantly, he continues to insist that the area around the courtroom is like “Fort Knox.” “There are more police than I’ve ever seen anywhere because they don’t want to have anybody come down,” he said today, “There’s not a civilian within three blocks of the courthouse.” But this is, quite simply, a lie. Virtually no one has turned out to support him. As conservative lawyer George Conway noted today, “There is virtually complete freedom of movement around that courthouse.” Social media contributor Eddie Smith, who filmed the handful of Trump protesters in New York today, put it more colorfully. After noting that “MAGA’s not repping in New York,” he added: “Wait a minute! You guys hear that? There is a mouse pissing on a ball of cotton in China. That’s how quiet it is out here.” Republican lawmakers are stepping in where Trump’s base followers are not. Republicans attacked as unfit for office 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton for her use of a private email server. They tried to impeach current president Biden on unfounded accusations that he took bribes from foreign countries. Now they find themselves forced to defend a man who is currently the defendant in a criminal trial that is showing that his associates acted like a criminal gang. As Tom Nichols put it today in The Atlantic, that defense is partly because they are afraid of their own voters. Nichols also called out those “now circling Trump like the cold fragments of a destroyed planet” who “resent the people who stuck to their principles.” Those MAGA Republicans lawmakers are, like Trump, trying to gin up anger with lies. Representative Anna Paulina Luna (R-FL), who went to Trump’s Manhattan trial to support him on Thursday, told Jesse Watters of the Fox News Channel and later posted on social media that “[t]hey’re trying to keep cameras out of the courtroom so that the American people don’t see what’s happening.” Former federal prosecutor Ron Filipkowski noted in response that “New York has banned cameras in courtrooms since June 30, 1997.” The most important of their lies, though, is that the 2020 presidential election was stolen and that to protect the 2024 election, it is imperative to police the election. This is the same tactic Trump used in 2020, claiming exactly four years ago that “they send in thousands and thousands of fake ballots.” Those lies have resulted in a huge increase in threats against those whom MAGA perceives as an enemy. Danny Hakim, Ken Bensinger, and Eileen Sullivan reported in the New York Times yesterday that last year, threats against federal judges increased 150% over 2019: 450 federal judges were targeted. Since 2018, threats to members of Congress have increased by 50%, with more than 8,000 such threats last year. More than 80% of local officials also say they have been threatened or harassed. MAGA lawmakers refuse to say they will accept the results of the 2024 election. On Saturday, Wisconsin senator Ron Johnson refused to commit to that fundamental tenet of our democracy. On Meet the Press on Sunday, Florida senator Marco Rubio also declined to say he would accept the election results. Those vying for the Republican vice presidential nomination, including North Dakota governor Doug Burgum and South Carolina senator Tim Scott, have refused to say they would accept the results. Their tactics are working among the Republican base. A CBS News/YouGov poll released this weekend showed that only 47% of Arizona Republicans say they will accept the results of the 2024 election no matter who wins. An equal number—47%—say they will challenge the results if the other side wins. That result is not symmetrical with the Democrats: 82% of them say they will accept the results, while only 14% say they will challenge the results if their opponents win. But people are pushing back against the MAGA narrative. On May 15 the Texas Tribune and ProPublica published a story by Jeremy Schwartz about Courtney Gore, a woman who ran for a Texas school board to combat pornography and critical race theory in the schools, only to find there wasn’t any. When she told the public, her former colleagues turned on her. “I’m over the political agenda, hypocrisy bs,” Gore wrote. “I took part in it myself. I refuse to participate in it any longer. It’s not serving our party. We have to do better.” Steve MacLaughlin, a meteorologist for NBC 6 News in Miami, reported on a new law Florida governor Ron DeSantis signed into law last week that will remove references to climate change from state law. “On Thursday, we reported on NBC 6 News that the government of Florida was beginning to roll back really important climate change legislation and really important climate change language in spite of the fact that the state of Florida, over the last couple of years, has seen record heat, record flooding, record rain, record insurance rates, and the corals are dying all around the state,” MacLaughlin said. “The entire world is looking to Florida to lead in climate change, and our government is saying that climate change is no longer the priority it once was. Please keep in mind, the most powerful climate change solution is the one you already have in the palm of your hands: the right to vote. And we will never tell you who to vote for, but we will tell you this: We implore you to please do your research and know that there are candidates that believe in climate change and that there are solutions, and there are candidates that don’t.” On May 17, former lieutenant governor of Georgia Geoffrey Duncan noted on Amanpour & Company that Trump had done less for rural voters than any other president in modern history. “At the end of the day,” he said, “we just cannot get into the business in America of electing dishonest human beings to represent us…. The world’s watching us. I’m hoping we get this right.” Tonight, Sarah Matthews, who was deputy press secretary for the Trump administration, wrote: “Trump’s continued use of Nazi rhetoric is un-American and despicable. Yet too many Americans are brushing off the glaring red flags about what could happen if he returns to the White House. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” — Notes: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/may/19/trump-nra-convention-dallashttps://www.rawstory.com/trump-threat-biden/https://nymag.com/intelligencearticle/the-nra-is-weaker-than-ever-how-much-does-that-matter.htmlhttps://time.com/6979795/trump-receives-nra-endorsement-urges-gun-owners-vote/​​https://apnews.com/article/election-2024-trump-minnesota-4f7ebfe7a2e1949d38a7c9894616a985 https://apnews.com/article/trump-election-2024-rhetoric-germany-antisemitism-31002afb91b642c0314223d19e51f427https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/marco-rubio-joins-republicans-hedging-accepting-election-results-rcna153011 https://presswatchers.org/2024/05/trump-choosing-not-to-testify-in-his-defense-should-be-a-banner-headline/https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/19/us/politics/political-violence.htmlhttps://thehill.com/policy/energy-environment/4675594-florida-meteorologist-ron-desantis-climate-change-roll-back/https://captimes.com/news/elections/top-wisconsin-republicans-mixed-on-accepting-2024-election-results/article_2ae8f1e4-1538-11ef-a217-d7802fd5a882.htmlhttps://www.reuters.com/world/us/donald-trump-fire-up-supporters-nras-annual-us-gathering-2024-05-18/,accepted%20the%20influential%20group's%20endorsement)https://www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/archive/2024/05/the-maga-memory-hole/678435/https://www.texastribune.org/2024/05/15/texas-granbury-isd-school-board-courtney-gore/X: BidenHQ/status/1791469492440072359RonFilipkowski/status/1792195770374099083samstein/status/1792188951920361645HueyRey/status/1792635408506912824mkraju/status/1792515853314904293gtconway3d/status/1792548740525363276eddsmitty/status/1792573721615434037atrupastatus/1792626209118884346BidensWins/status/1791609511435714795BidenHQ/status/1792209690664845569BidenHQ/status/1791946911340999113CarlosGSmith/status/1792207611733172238Tim_Walz/status/1791620309105119419BidenHQ/status/1791949552469082444AccountableGOP/status/1791661408641298808SarahAMatthews1/status/1792760772193374274

https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/may-20-2024

I apologize in advance for the length of this thread, but by far this is the user that wrote the most comments in the video of our song. At first, he suggested Scepter and Reign, but he debunked this lead by saying: "Scepter and Reign can be crossed off. I have been corresponding with the lady whose name is mentioned in the legal document, Naomi (first name used with her permission, and only her first name) since Thursday. She was legitimately shocked her name was on the document because in all these years NOBODY ever contacted her regarding it. She thinks they may have realized how much money it would cost and probably withdrew. She knew both bands fairly well, scale of 1-10 she answered "6.5 maybe 7'ish". She designed 1 "logo" for each band that was literally just a sketch she made with their band names on them she could print out in the Xerox store she worked at. Scepter's original name was actually "Dungeon Master" but they changed it to fit their name on her design. As for the abandoned demo from Scepter, she said they abandoned it because they couldn't afford to produce it. They didn't even make it far enough to name their 3 or 4 songs. So, on to the big question, are either bands involved with this song? According to her both bands came out in 1985, and according to her this "The Falling King" song predates both bands by a year or 2. This is not Scepter or Reign, this song is older than both bands. According to her, she first heard this song on a Detroit station while visiting family. Even back then, the Detroit station personnel had absolutely NO CLUE who this was. She remembers her father making fun of the singers accent claiming it was a "Posh" accent and also used to think the lyric was "The fall, the fall in the king" lol. I explained how this song was recorded off of several stations in 1987 and she replied "How many songs do you hear on the radio that are several years old?". She was stumped this was played on Z-Rock because this does not sound like an amateur band to her. She is not the only person to make comments that this does not sound like an amateur band, this sounds professionally recorded and produced, something EXTREMELY few amateugarage bands could have done. I thought i had something, but at least i tried. By the way, apparently Reign still performs in the Pittsburgh area under the name "Metallic Thunder"." (THIS IS HIS LATEST COMMENT) If this is true, it means our search will be even more difficult.
In one of his earliest comments he said this: "My 2 oldest sisters (born in 1970 and 1972) actually remember this song being played by garage bands and local talents in the Coatesville PA area. However, they both swear on mom and dads ashes that the first time they heard this song, a local music festival in Exton PA, I was NOT born yet (I was born in 1984). Even back then nobody could say who it was or what the title was. In fact the one band from Downingtown PA used to refer to it as "The Dungeons and Dragons song". And by that i mean, according to my sisters the lead singers girlfriend (or his sister....they could never tell?) would be in the crowd and when they were ready to end their performance she would shout "Play the Dungeons and Dragons song". My sisters also remember the adults thinking this song was somehow a promotional thing for the PA Renaissance Fair. Unfortunately they cannot offer any clues to the identity of this band or songs title, their guess, back then and still today, was Manowar."
At first, he claims our band is Manowar, explaining: "I do not think Manowar is an obscure band, nor do my sisters. The "obscure" bands mentioned in my postings are all the local garage/amateur bands that they remember playing this song and most of those garage/amateur bands even back then, along with my sisters, were under the impression this was a Manowar song. Many people, not just on this post but others feel this is Manowar "pitch" song, other bands thrown around have been Iron Maiden, Overdrive (Or Overkill, i'm not sure if it's the same band?), Blackmane, Axis and Cirith Ungol (spelling?). Keep this in mind, it's not that uncommon for mainstream/well known bands to have unreleased music in their "library". A good example, ask the most diehard Rammstein fans what their first song ever was, they'll probably answer Du Recht So Gut or Rammstein. Most people have never heard their 1992-1993 pitch song, "Tier" (Monster, beast). In fact, Till Linderman himself stated in 2018 he was unaware Tier was ever recorded by anyone, yet alone put up on the internet. Like this "Fall of the King" song, "Tier" was toted as an mystery song for years but was in a group of 4 or 5 other songs that Rammstein did but never released. One of my favorite bands, Corvus Corax, actually had something similar happen, a song they did back in the early 90's, "Vampire", opening for another band was recorded by a fan in the audience and made rounds on the Neo Folk community ages later. Corvus Corax themselves heard it on a radio station in Denmark roughly 2009'ish and called them asking how and when they got that song because they NEVER recorded it for public use. Personally i cannot give a wager who this is? I am not that good with this genre so i go with what people older than me and much better with this music say. To me it could be Manowar, something they never intended to be released publicly, it could be the Z'Rose a bunch of people feel it is, it could be Overdrive/Overkill (i do not know if these names are the same band or 2 separate ones?), it could be me time traveling impersonating my great uncle Fred......ok that last one was just meant to be a joke lol." Then someone says: "has your sister contacted erik to see about the the song?" and he says "OH HELL NO!!! They haven't spoken since they broke up in 1991-1992. I did reach out to his brother probably a year ago and never heard back."
He suggests it's either Manowar or Sarissa (he mispelled them): "@aSome1 There's some confusion, my sisters never said Z'Rose was playing the song in our hometown area. Local teenage to early college yrs bands were playing it. They recognized this song when I was on a family Zoom chat, i had this song on in the background (by accident actually lol) and my oldest sister (#1 born in '70) asked what i was listening to. I turned it up and she shook her head and asked the other sister (#2 born in '72) "Oh my gosh isn't that that stupid Manowar song Erik and his brother used to play all the time?". Erik was the name of her high school boyfriend. They remember hearing it first at an amateur music fest when my brother (born in '82) was still a baby. Mainly they remember mom fitting all of them in her old "Batmobile" station wagon. By the time i was born in '84 that station wagon was gone for at least several months. The band names they specifically remember playing this, and keep in mind these were "Garage bands" from the 80's were: Venomous Vomit, Razors in your Coffee (Erik's band), Ash to Ash, Cauldron Kings, Coven of Metal, Pridesville, South of Hell and Purgatory. They said there were a few more, but didn't remember....or care....to know their names. (Disclaimer: Several peoples associated with those mentioned bands have been contacted by me and several have replied.....the most common reply is "How the hell do you know us!?" lol)
"I have actually been looking at this song for almost 3yrs. I've had some "good leads" and some "bad leads" and i've also had "WTF leads".......but at the end it is still unsolved. So far the biggest contenders, from people way better with this music than me (I'm more a symphonic or extreme metal person) have been: Manowar, Iron Maiden, OverDrive, Overkill, Onslaught of Destruction and Sonic Mahem. My sisters really believe it is possibly an unreleased or "pitch demo" of Manowar but they also said it might be a Greek band from the early 80's called Sarassa or something like that?"
Then he denies it's Z-Rose: "@lostwavefinder587 I have seen that name tossed around a lot on forums and random chats (this being one of them). Most people way smarter and better with this music than myself seem to have the opinion that it is not Z'Rose. They range in reason from: the equipment sound professional and they were not, the dates don't add up, Z'Rose only did covers so even it is them in the recordings it's still not their song.....one individual (a supervisor at work who lived in Texas during this time frame) actually said "Z'Rose wouldn't have been sober enough to finish that song". I have only heard 1 Z'Rose recording, and unfortunately the person who recorded it (I think the date says 1989?) spends the majority of the 5 minute video talking during the performance so all i hear is them and not the singer. I have to emphasize about %99 of this info i'm presenting is NOT from me but people who know this genre of music way better than me....i'm more Symphonic metal and neo folk (Corvus Corax, Heilung, Faun etc."
"Out of curiosity, since a lot people think this might be Z'Rose, has anyone contacted the family/families of Nick or Joe Cavazos? My "team" is looking into a blog page from 2018 of a pretty intense exchange between a blogger and a woman who is believed to be "Rocker Joe's daughter. In this exchange she states this song is NOT her dad and uncle's band. But it gets pretty rough because the blogger keeps pressing and let's just say some NSFW language is exchanged. I will only say this, the woman's name does match one of the names in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary, but they can't tell if it is actually HER or someone posing. I also find it interesting that in another posting of this song someone is claiming to be the nephew of both Nick and Joe.....but about a dozen people ask about this song and he does not answer them......but someone else will ask something unrelated to this song and he answers??"
"About a year ago on another posting of this song, someone had a link to a conversation with a woman who was allegedly Joe Cavazos daughter. She very adamantly denied this was her dads band, Z'Rose. They person kept pressing her and she did not budge a single inch, "NO, its not my dad's band". The only thing that could be confirmed was the woman's name did match a name in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary as his daughter. But if it was her or not I can't say? Many peoples on other postings and on forums have all claimed to have gotten in contact with Z'Rose and stated they responded "No" to this being theirs.
So the "Kings Fall" song by Bernard Cavazos is actually a completely different song. He is also not related to the Z'Rose Cavazos. Somewhere I read that the "Kings Fall"/"Fallen King" song by Bernard Cavazos is about a corrupt politician or mafia like "king" not an actual king. Again none of this is from me, it's from things I read, not me.
When 'Wang' did a video about several mystery songs he included this one. In his video (I don't know if he made more than one?) he talked about how that Bernard Cavazos has been contacted and has denied this is his Fall of the King song. If my memory is correct Wang read a message from him explaining his "king" was a corrupt politician or gang leader like king. Wang also mentioned there was another Bernard Cavazos who was a doctor and he is sick and tired of people contacting him about this song"
Someone that replied to him said:
"@CharlesMarkward probably this tape recording was an attempt from them to make something of their own, many bands have started this way, an example is the Brazilian power metal band Angra, they were first meant to be an Iron Maiden tribute but as things went by, they have decided to release things of their own...I couldn't find anything about this "Z'Rose" band in metal-archives, neither at Google with a simple research, but the data gathered until this moment make sense: the Z Rock radio is from Texas, the so called "Z'Rose" band is also from Texas, it was the 80's, so, without internet, this was the way bands used to promote their work...but your story adds some drifts from this sensible data available until now...they are/were from Texas, ok...but until then, they weren't any big group, which means they were probably 9 to 5 salarymen whose musician activity was on weekends and the money earned wasn't enough to keep up with, so, a trip from TX to PA is a long ranged one and expensive for their then standards, I can remember when I've read the Mick Wall's Metallica biography, in which they highlight how hard was for them to go all the way from CA to NY to record Kill em' All, well, unless someone sponsored the so called "Z'Rose from Texas" (like the Zazula couple to Metallica) to play in the events you've mentioned in PA...which means they were good and had potential (this "mysterious recording" doesn't let me lie), because it takes a lot for someone at the other eastern extreme of a big country like the USA to call someone all the way from TX to play in an event when probably there were good bands around and without the need of a sponsorship to travel and get some place to sleep and eat..."
Therefore Charles says: "Also, i am not the one saying it's not them. People much better with much more access to metal archives/records are saying it's not them. BUT, everything you said makes perfect sense to me and I have no argument against any of it. It would make perfect sense if it was a possible pitch demo Z'Rose recorded and kept along for a few years before a station played it. My sisters are %98 certain it was a Manowar song, the only other band they mentioned as a possibility is a Greek band i can't find anything about called something like Sarassa??"
Someone told him to contact Erik: "A little bit ago someone in here suggested i contact my sisters ex and ask where he got this song. I could not get a hold of him, but i did get in contact with his brother he played with. According to the brother they got the song from their aunt who lived in Philly (Center City) and would send them tapes of songs to play. This song was on a tape sandwiched between "4 or 5" Manowar songs. He specifically remembered this for 2 reasons: 1, their aunt wrote "Killing of the king by No Name" and 2, the last song on the this tape was labled as a Venom song (he did not recall which) but was actually "Melody of Love" by Bobby Vinton😂. So i think this is why my sisters keep saying it's Manowar, because if it was on a tape with a bunch of their songs that chances are they heard a crapload of times?"
He contacted Erik's brother (Erik is supposedly the ex boyfriend of one of his sisters) and received this reply: "Erik's brother returned another email I sent about this song. I made a post about it about a week ago. The brother says their aunt who lived in Philly included this song on a mix tape of stuff for him and his brother to play. This song was sandwiched between several Manowar songs and the last song on the tape was supposed to be a Venom song but was actually Bobby Vinton's "Melody of Love" 🤣"
Therefore debunking the possibility it's a Manowar song, he also adds: "She (the aunt) passed in 2014. She would record songs off the radio for them. She lived in Philly (Center City) but also had a place in Florida, so he was never sure which cities radio stations she would record from. This song she wrote "Killing the King?" As the title and "???" as the band name, but it was between several Manowar songs. I think this might be why my oldest sisters are so insistent this is a Manowar song because they may have listened to it with Erik and his brother.....it's a theory lol"
He also thought of Iced Earth as the possible band: "lostwavefinder587 I immediately thought of Iced Earth when I heard this song. Although it's likely just a coincidence, it's interesting to note that Iced Earth was originally called "The Rose".
Someone said to him: "if that's any help, the Greek band's name you're talking about is probably Sarissa. I don't think it's them, though: the vox sound kinda different, and their songs are mostly Ancient Greece-themed." And he replied: "Yes, thank you! All this time I've been spelling it wrong. I gave a quick listen to a demo of theirs from '86. In terms of sound and beat and tempo etc, they are pretty close to this song. In terms of vocals, they sound nothing alike." Therefore, he debunked Sarissa himself.
Now here he changed his version and provides a new lead given by his sisters:
"Holy crap for some reason my last post got cut in half and didn't include the following info, sorry! So the individual i spoke to and got the new possible lead is the former singer of the one band my sisters mentioned, Purgatory, (i do NOT have his permission to use his real name but his stage name was Tarantula). He confirmed he played this song "once or twice" but didn't know the lyrics so they just repeated several "blocks" over and over again. He heard it from a band in NJ and when he asked if he could use the song they replied along the lines of "It's not our song, we don't care" but gave no indication who it was or they even knew who it was? He suggested the band "Knightmare" because they were from Texas and he remembers all of their songs being medieval or medieval fantasy related. Supposedly they wore what looked like full on plate armor (he does not know if it was actual metal armor or something made to look like it). He saw them perform a handful of times because he spent summers in Texas on his grandfathers (mistakenly said uncle in my last post, sorry) ranch and would sneak off at night to "the metal scene" (i do not know if that was a club name or if he just meant that in general?). He began visiting his grandfathers ranch in 1980 and stopped when his grandfather retired in 1992. He gave an estimated timeline for "Knightmare" of 1981-1989."
He corrects himself by saying they are not called "Knightmare": Interestingly, my supervisor at work lived in Texas during this timeline (roughly mid 70's to mid 90's from what i can gather?) and when I asked him about Knightmare he had no idea. But when i mentioned they dressed up like knights in armor he suddenly looked startled and said "That wasn't their name, their name was Battle Battalion or some s*** like that".
But then he says: "So i posted a few months ago about this song, my sisters remember garage bands in the area playing this… I checked every band called Knightmare on Metal Encyclopedia and it doesn’t look like it’s our band." "Forgive my French.....Damn. I thought maybe it could have been a lead but i guess like dozens of others I've come across, dead end. I did a quick search for Knightmare a few weeks ago and I got all excited i saw one band dressed up like monks or Druids, but that band only came out in 2017. I think it's safe to say the name has been used by many bands."
Then someone asks him: "Does the name "Battle Battalion" show up on any Metal "pedia" sites? That's what my supervisor claims this "dressed up in medieval armor" bands name was?" and another one told him: "I saw some bands with Battalion on the metal encyclopedia and discogs and none of them are our band. I don’t think we should go based on what a band wears as our lead."
Then he debunks the Knightmare (and the Conquest) lead: "So a little bit ago i mentioned a band name "Knightmare" as a possibility for this song. Well the band was actually called "KnyghtBlyde" (Knight Blade) and i got in contact with the daughter of the vocalist last night. I played this song for her and after some confliction/hesitation she said it is NOT her dad. The biggest thing was all of her dads songs were based of Aruthurian lore and filled with references to Camelot, Arthur, Morgana, Lancelot, Excalibur etc. Since this song has none of that, its not them. She has no idea who this is. I did a quick search "Conquest 80's metal band Texas" and found 3 results. Conquest from San Antonio, split in either '85 or '87. Conquest from Dallas, '86 - '90. Khan'quest (possibly same band as Khanquistador?), no location given but split up in '88 then reformed in 2000 then......nothing? I could not find anything about any of their songs or demos or releases or band members. But it's obvious I was thinking of the wrong Conquest bands 😂 Conquest was ruled out. Someone who owns the tape was contacted and told us this isn't them."
And he says the singer of KnyghtBlade is convinced this song is from Battallion:
"So a little bit ago I mentioned getting in contact with KnyghtBlyde singers daughter who states that this is NOT her dad. She contacted me this morning, her father thinks this song might be by a band called Battalion. But her father said Battalion also went by the name AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault (or Artillery) in their early days. According to her father AAA/Battalion were from Texas but at least 2 of their members were originally from Chicago. Has anyone ever heard of either Battalion or AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault? The closest I can say is my one supervisor at work mentioned a band Battle Battalion from Texas when he lived there."
Then someone replies to him: "you are right there is a band named Battalion formed in 1984" He says: "I cannot find a single piece of music from this particular "Battalion"? From what I could find they formed between 1983 and 1985, split, reformed under a few possible names, split, repeat. 2 people I asked did say they remember a band of some sort from "out west" Anti Aircraft A-something, but neither could give any info."
Now here, he suggests it could be a Talon song:
"So here's a potential lead for everyone: I was just playing this song for a friend who is obsessed with all metal music. She asked me "Where did you get that Talon song?" Talon was/is a German heavy metal band from the early 80's that released several demos and full on albums between '83-'89. Almost all of there songs were medieval themed, especially their 2 demos. Herr's the thing, they supposedly have 3 unnamed tracks from both demos, one allegedly called "King Slayer". I listened to a bunch of there songs and I have to say there are several songs where the singer sounds exactly like our mystery singer, but then the next song they sound nothing alike. There was one song called something like "Execution" that the opening guitar sounds like this songs opening only slower? I'm not saying it is Talon, but it is possibly something to look into or at least consider?"
He also claimed the singer sounds like Bruce Dickinson (which has been suggested many times):
"I've said many times that I personally feel this vocalist sounds extremely close to Bruce Dickinson. There is a clip of Bruce singing Tom Jones' "Delilah" on either a talk or game show, and his opening of that song is nearly identical to this Fall of the King vocals! Tone, tempo, cadence, pitch......it's really really on spot. I am NOT saying it is Bruce, I'm just saying whoever it is does a good job singing like him."
He says this song could be made by Eviscerator:
"Hello again everyone, has anyone ever heard of a band from Britain, late 70's through late 80's called "Eviscerator"? Very very long story short: I played this song at a Viking/Pagan/Neo-Folk/Black Metal "bar" about half a mile up the road from my place and the one patron who looked like Elvira and Lilith Bathory had a daughter together (HOT HOT HOT) comes over and asked me to replay it and she sang along with the recording with about %95 accuracy! Oddly, at the end after the 4 or 5 "The Fall of the King"s, she suddenly sang "The evil one now wears the crown, all hail the evil one" and head banged for a few moments. According to her, this song was by a band called "Eviscerator" and they always claimed this song was written as a pitch track for the movie Heavy Metal? I mentioned how this song by numerous accounts was recorded here in the USA in 86-87 from stations in Texas, Chicago, Cleveland, NYC and (by only one account) possibly Florida. She didn't feel there was an issue with that as stations will often play random things just to fill the spot including songs that are several years older. I asked about her added line at the end and she stated "I didn't add s*** bud, whoever recorded it must have cut it off before they got to it". I mentioned how numerous people strongly believe this is the work of Z'Rose, she said they probably covered it a bunch of times but it is not their song and even stated that this particular recording sounds like it could be them covering. She was more familiar with Z'Rose than me, she commented "The 3 Cavlaros brothers from Texas right? The singer was the oldest brother Jeff?" (I know that's not their name, i only included it for aunthenticity per context of our discussion, the last name is Cavazos and there was only 2 of them right?). She also told me Z'Rose had about a dozen other names through their years including "Gypsy Rose". I asked how she knew this British band "Eviscerator" and she answered that she lived in London from 78-85 and this song was played a lot on "amateur hour" on several stations, especially university stations. This kind of took me by surprise because i thought she looked younger than me (I'm 39) but she lived in England for college and her first husband in the late 70's??"
"In my last comments i mentioned a bar i went to was going to have a mini concert featuring bands that specialize in black metal and 80's tribute metal and i would play this song to see if any of the band peoples or concert goers would chime in. I did just that and got a few hits on the radar with a few of the band members. The one band, Inviaat, the singer says he remembers this song being played on a radio station in Philly PA for an entire summer because that station was trying to find the band. He does not remember the specific station but said it was near the Taylor University campus (my understanding is that there is several?) because the station thought it was the students from that university's music program. When i asked him when exactly that would have been he said Summer of 1983 because he was married on Halloween 1983 and was hoping the station would find the band so they could play at his wedding. A member from the local band "inductus Mortis" said he recalls that song being played "somewhere in the mid 80's" but does not remember if he heard it in Chicago or Cleveland because he bounced between them. I asked several bands, include the Venom tribute band Poisonous Whisper if anyone had ever heard of a band name Eviscerator from the 80's. Only one person thought he heard the name but it wasn't a band name it was a compilation album of NWOBHM from roughly '83-'84, but couldn't tell me anything other than that. As for the other concert goers, the #1 response i got from them was along the lines of "Dude you can sing, you should go pro!".....in other words they thought it was me promoting myself (I wish i could sing like that!!). the #2 response was people thought it was Manowar. After those 2 the guesses were the usual ones i have seen here and everywhere else this topic comes up: Blackmaine, Axis, Overkill, Overdrive, Black Sabath, Iron Maiden, Anthrax, Slayer, WitchAxe and 2 people even asked if it was an Ozzy Osbourne demo."
"I asked around, including my oldest sisters I've mentioned in my postings, about Eviscerator. The only person who heard of them, the one from this time-frame not the other 8 or 9 bands from the 2000's with that name, said they were a generic ManowaIron Maiden/Judas Priest tribute or more accurately, ripoff, band who sucked. I am not saying I buy this woman's account, but i'm also not discrediting it or calling her a liar. Her familiarity with this song and her accuracy with the lyrics makes me believe she knows this song from somewhere.....what that somewhere is, i can't comment because i don't know?"
"So far my friends and I have several "pings" to look into, the name Eviscerator has absolutely nothing from the time frame we're looking at. But there is (was?) a "Lee Lesaat" Canadian/British "mercenary" (did not belong to any band but would play for others) drummer who now lives in NYC my friends are looking into.
There is an 80's metal/black metal tribute concert this Saturday at the bar I was at last weekend. After the bands play their sets they have an open mic like set up where you can play your own music (as long as it fits the theme). I'm going to try and play this song and see if anyone, bands or crowd or food vendors etc, have any reaction.
And by "pings" I just mean responses/possible possible long shot leads. The guy or girl claiming to be a psychic vampire who time traveled and wrote this song for The Lost Boys movie is NOT going to be one of them😂"
Then someone asks: "What band is this Eviscerator ? I found a band that was formed in 2012 . Furthermore tthe song is not in the metal archives I searched through lyrics was not found." He says: "Allegedly they were in England in the 1980's, but the woman stated 2 of them had New York accents. If all of her account is true and accurate, they were NOT a professional big name band. I did find several bands with the title "Eviscerator" (in different variations) but all of them were from the 2000's. The only "pro" band with that title I could find was a Hungarian band from the mid 2000's. I asked Satanic lady if she remembered any of the other bands that played alongside "Eviscerator" and she only remembered 3: "Band-Shee" (an all female band....get it?) Gargoyle, and Werewolf Tears."
"I have a very very small update for everyone, but it's still an update nonetheless. The mystery succubus looking woman who said this song was by Eviscerator and sang along to it (even when I "accidentally" muted my phone to see if she was just repeating what she was hearing.....she was not) has been identified by my journalist friend! We are going to try and get in contact with her and see if there is anything else she can remember about "Eviscerator" that could help. I'm not going to get my hopes up, but her familiarity with this songs lyrics and the fact she sang almost in perfect synch with the beat makes me feel she really did know this song from somewhere in her past. That or she is a very good actress? Lol
I found only 1 solid, confirmed band with that name but they were from mid 2000's Hungary. But several peoples now and then tell me they remember hearing that name in the 80's as various things; crappy garage band, NWOHBM compilation album/work, some sort of event space or name, most recently someone claimed he thought it was the stage name of a singer but didn't know who or what band. I'm trying to get in touch with the woman who originally mentioned that name."
He posted this comment that lead nowhere: "2 very small updates for everyone:
1) The Viking/Pagan/Goth/Black Metal themed bar just around the corner from me is having a New Years event tomorrow night. They actually agree to give me a "booth" where i can have a "guess this song" set up. And, it will be right next to where the bands play...I'm going to be between the "stage" and the food truck lol
2) The one radio station i submitted this song to will play it on their "X hour" on 1/8/24. It is not a hugely popular segment, maybe a few hundred listeners, but it's better than nothing.
Here's to the New Year and hope this song and numerous others get solved!"
"So the station played this song Sunday night/Monday morning. They played it 4 times between 2:07am - 3:12am. They received 9 calls about it and about a dozen emails (I seriously didn't know they had an email!?!?!?). Unfortunately the majority of contacts were people either asking for them to replay it or people thinking it was Manowar. There were a few Iron Maidens and one or 2 Ozzy Osborne's. Only 2 people stated they heard this song before. Unfortunately they heard it from "some kilt wearing guy at blank bar plays it, I think it's him self promoting". Yes that's me they referenced and no it is not me singing lol"
He suggest matrixx as a possibility: "There's a band called matrixx that has been giving me interest. They were only around for two years due to financial struggles in their stage. If you look up attaxe and fiinal notice they share two members of matrixx. Their drummer and guitarist sound very similar to the band from this song. It's pretty crazy too because they have a song called defy the king. They also had a label to produce their songs which is called Suma Recording Studios. This may be the reason why the audio sounds too good for a small band. I hope that this is the band! Too many good clues that I found"
He debunks the Steven Lindfield lead: "One of the names thrown about here and there on posts about this song is a Steven Linfield ("Lindi") who bounced between Chicago and NYC in the 1980's. His alleged involvement varries between being the DJ who allegedly played it on a NYC station, to being a Chicago stations record manageclerk etc etc. I got in contact with him yesterday. He denies having ANYTHING to do with the airing of this song and does not know how or why his name came up. While he did work at 2 stations (NYC, then Chicago during the summer) he was an overnight watchman (security). However, he does recall this song being played on "some amateur hour crapshoot" in '86 in NYC a bunch of times. At that point in '86 he claims people were referencing it as "The King Song" or "The song of the King" (drawn out to match the singers "The Faaaalllll, the fall of the kiiiiiing") and it was already 2 or 3 years old at that time. He did explain that at least at the Chicago station there was an amateur drop-off slot that the dj's would pick through and play random "no namers" labeling them as "space filler". Because they would be played, literally just to fill space, they were NOT mandated to keep any records of them. Sometimes the dj's would just make up names to some of these. One of his main duties was to check the drop-off to make sure there were no bad things thrown in there instead of cassettes. Another dead end, but at least we rulled out one theory......silver lining??😂 LINDFIELD, not Linfield. Darn autocorrect on this phone."
He is convinced it's a professional band's demo: Thats why a lot people I have introduced to this song think it's a professional band, or at the extreme least an amateur band playing with top level equipment/sponsor? 1983 guy stated they sound like they have equipment his garage band "couldn't even afford to dream about looking at yet alone use". It's also one of the reasons my 2 oldest sisters insist this is a professional band (sister #1 says Manowar, #2 says Manowar or Sarissa) because there are no goofs or mistakes or errors. My sisters gave an example of a garage band from their Kutztown university days, "Freefall Abyss" that self released a demo and in one song you can hear a telephone ringing in the background and in another you can hear a fan or ac unit going.
He contacted a girl named Della: "This song was actually played on an old Philly/NJ station on the segment "Della names your tune" in 2009. I was able to get in contact with "Della" (real name withheld by her request) who at first stated "I played thousands of unnamed songs bud, I probably played this one 100 times, sorry i wont be much help" . Then a few days later replied "I do recall this one, it was sent in from a local listener who had it labeled as Dungeon Master or maybe Dragon Master on a CD with a bunch of old early Manowar, JudaPriest, Iron Maiden, Megadead, Metallica and AngelWitch songs. He or she claimed their father had this song on a tape from his college days. Nobody knew what or who it was back in '09 or '10 and as far as I know nobody figured it out when I left the program in '15." The only name she gave, and I don't know if this was even a real name or the drummers "stage name" was Leopald Lestat.........I do have 2 people looking into it (from a metal dating site of all places). Disclaimer: I know some of those bands are misspelled, I purposefully left it that way because that's how she sent it to me."
"I went down that road, you nailed it right on the head. There is no way to track down who that listener was. The only hint she had, in the form of the note attached to the CD was the person said they were from Radnor PA. I couldn't tell you because the other songs kind of bounce around in terms of year: there's a Judas Priest and an Angel Witch song both from 1980 but then there's a song from Megadeath (I believe Megadeath came out in '85?) and a Metallica song from '86? For some reason my one comment didn't show up? Della gave a pretty big hint, she said the mailing address on the CD was from Radnor PA, but the phone number included was a landline for a Chicago address. Her and the station managers assumed it was a "shadow number" and didn't bother keeping record of it. A lot of her requests had local addresses with out of state phone numbers, cellular and landline."
He suggests Dungeon Masters: "I have a potential lead, "Dungeon Masters" from Pittsburgh PA? Long story short: everyone at work talks about a "hot nerdy chick" who works at the one antique book store in town and she is a music genius and knows EVERY song people play. So i decided to test it. I played this song and she stated "I think thats Dungeon Masters, they were from my hometown of Pittsburgh PA back in the early to late 80's. Thats either Dungeon Masters or someone doing an incredible job imitating them?". Given that Cleveland is only a 2-3 hr drive from Pittsburgh (from what Steelers players say) i think this could be a possible lead and explain the Cleveland recording? Again, this is only a POSSIBLE lead, but i think it has potential?
Currently my one "source" is looking into it. He is not always accurate (as evidenced when we were looking into Conquest) but its better than nothing."
And someone adds this: "Della said the same Dungeon Masters so better look into it"
But he says this: "Close, "Della" stated the listener who sent in the CD had this song labeled as "Dungeon Master?", not a band name. But I am looking into it as best as I can. I found a Pittsburgh band "Dungeon" but they're NOT metal they're an Omnia/Faun like band (neo-folk I think is the term?) formed in 2018. I sent word out to the people I know and my "team". Now it is a waiting game."

20M from the US
TL;DR: I don't like math and as a result of that I don't understand it and struggle immensely in my math and physics college courses. I'm majoring in CS but I think I should quit because I don't like programming or math. I just don't know what other skill to learn so I'm not stuck being a cleaner or fast food worker for the rest of my life.
Long version: I don't think I'm inherently bad at math but I've always found it boring so I didn't pay much attention and my teachers aren't always good anyway and as a result of that I have a ton of gaps in my knowledge of math and don't understand it but also don't care about it at all. It's the same for anything that uses a lot of math like physics.
Even when I started programming I brushed it to the side because I was able to do what I wanted to in programming (make Roblox games and make web pages). I've now completed two semesters of college and am taking summer classes and last fall I struggled immensely with trigonometry and now I am struggling with physics although not as bad. I'm signed up to take trig again later this summer but I'm thinking about quitting it before it starts so I don't waste my money.
I don't even like programming anymore and was in it for the money but I've heard the web dev market is very oversaturated and unless you're really passionate about the field it's very hard to get a job. I just don't know what to do anymore and I'm afraid I'm going to be doomed to minimum wage jobs for the rest of my life because I'm too stupid to learn how to do any career.
The only thing I'm "good" at is learning languages and the only reason I'm "good" at it is because I'm extremely interested and passionate about learning languages. I don't think I'm actually any better than any other person. I'm just so passionate about it that I've had the drive to push through the hard moments and I have put thousands of hours into practicing Spanish.
Speaking intermediate Spanish is literally the only skill I have and it's pretty useless in terms of making money. I'm not interested in learning a single skill besides acquiring more languages and I know I have to if I want to make more money but I don't know what to learn. I also want to move abroad or be a digital nomad but I know if I don't figure out what to learn and learn it I have no hope of doing that.

24M, 6'1, 200mg Lamictal, Occasional Cigarette smoker So about 12 days ago I woke up with what felt like a bruised/swollen bottom right lip. Not any tingling, just felt tender. Over the next few days, the swelling went down except for in more isolated spots still on the bottom of the right lip that felt like small bumps (near the border but I think on the lip). there hasn't really been any pain, only annoyance from licking the spot and really drying the skin. Then about 9 days in a couple of white heads similar to the one in the picture popped up and rose to the surface very quickly. I popped them and a tiny bit of white pimple-like fluid came out. Now another tiny white head popped up and the skin is just extremely dry. Everyone I've asked to look at it doesn't think it is/was a cold sore but I cant figure out what else it could be. Thoughts?
Sorry for the shitty picture!

To Repeat something I talked about in the Discord Server:
There seems to be some interesting connections between The Watchman and The Thunderskin so much so that I think The Watchman was somehow involved with the flaying of and Ascension of The Thunderskin.
In Apollo and Marsyas we know that Marsyas is The Thunderskin and Cybele is The Red Grail, so the question is which Hour is Apollo in this story? Apollo as a deity is associated with art, craftsmanship civilization, reason and medicine as well as being associated with light and later the Sun. Apollo was also one of the deities the Romans gave the epithet Invictus to. The Watchman is associated with the reason, craftsmanship and light since his Principal is Lantern, and he is also one of the Hours venerated by the Church of the Unconquered Sun.
Due to his role in the formation of the pact between Yew, Grail, and Axe, The Thunderskin is the only male Hour that the Sisterhood gives reverence to. And yet as The Rose of Waznei shows us there was at one point a heretical offshoot of The Sisterhood who were devoted to The Watchman. Out of all the possible Hours for a branch of a religious order like The Sisterhood to choose from why The Door in the Eye? Is it because like The Thunderskin it/he was involved with the pact that brought an end to The Lithomachy?
The Watchman is one of the Hours most associated with Janus who we know has some sort of connection with St. Januarius. St. Januarius' blood is represented in game by both the Amethyst Ampoule and January Sanguinary, which both have the Heart and Knock Principles. The Cultsim description of the True Blood/ January Sanguinary says that The Thunderskin protected St. Januarius, who being a "Saint" was probably among the figures revered by The Sisterhood who honor The Thunderskin. The presence of the Knock Principle may seem out of place/ unrelated since it is not held by either The Thunderskin or The Watchman, but remember it was Janus who gave Cardea/ The Horned-Axe aka one of the key Knock Hours, the Hawthorne. Additionally it is the Axe who was appeased with the sacrifice of The Thunderskin who ascended through The Peacock Doo Vak who was at one point one of the Axe's Names.
I also think there is something going on with The Watchman's nature as "Amber" and the The Ring-Yew's connection to the Nectar Power and her honey and sap symbolism. Nectar was once called Blood, and we offered up our Blood to the low-red sun who is probably the Egg Unhatching, the God-From-Stone that The Watchman usurped.
Blood is also associated with The Red Grail who has some interesting alchemical themes through to her Names, The Pine Knight and The Sage Knight. The Pine Knight is almost certainly The Thunderskin but we don't know much about The Sage Knight. However, I think it's telling that the figure who resides in The Lodge of The Sage Knight currently is Teresa, a potential candidate for The Watchman's Pilgrimage, one who is also connected to Janus. Thus I think that The Watchman was, in addition to being the Unwise Mortal who learned the alchemical arts of The Flint, was also Known as The Sage Knight and served The Red Grail. Blood, Nectar and Light....... brings to mind Ys and Cross.................
That's the gist of the evidence I have for this speculation currently other than some additional speculation about a connection between The Watchman and Vak given the fact that The Peacock Door looks like both a Vagina and and Eye and The Watchman is also named The Door in the Eye. But the idea that a yonic symbol can also be an eye is a little bit of a stretch unless you're familiar with the writings of Georges Bataille even though I have no doubt in my mind that AK does have some knowledge on his work.

Hi everyone, I’ve tried to find people on this subreddit with similar experiences, but I’ve had no luck so I figured I would create my own post and see if anyone had any advice. So I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (24F) for the past 7 years. It’s been a good and healthy relationship, except the fact that I feel extremely uncomfortable around his family. His mom and brother are quiet and we don’t talk much, however his dad has been an issue throughout our relationship. I guess to give some context, my boyfriends dad is not a good person. According to my boyfriend, his dad has admitted to being a delinquent all his life. He’s stolen from friends and family, has done a ridiculous amount of drugs, driven drunk and nearly killed himself in a car crash and more. In recent years, he’s been verbally abusive towards his wife and kids, has a bad temper and is aggressive and offensive to anyone who doesn’t agree with his opinions.
All of this hasn’t really affected me other than seeings bits and pieces of his behaviour when I’m at their home but I can’t do anything aside from ignoring it. However, in the last 3 years or so, I’ve started to feel uncomfortable with the ‘jokes’ or comments he makes towards myself or in general about women. Just to name a few instances, he was pissed off at his wife about something insignificant and when it was just me and him alone in the living room he said ‘if only I were younger I’d get with someone like you’. Or the many times I’ve caught him looking at me up and down for too long and calling me pretty. Recently, he’s started taking pictures of family members, which sounds innocent enough. Except that he always finds a way to take photos of me alone or his younger sons girlfriends which he chose to print and frame for himself. Then he picks up the photo every once in awhile and says ‘ I don’t want to sound like a creepy old man but these girls are gorgeous’. I don’t want to sound crazy or dramatic but there have been several instances where I felt extremely uncomfortable by how he looks at me, I can’t even explain it properly. This extends to my boyfriends’ brothers girlfriend as well as other younger women who are considered family friends. He makes constant remarks about their bodies and how they look and then goes on to compare his wife to us and says she doesn’t look as good as we do. Recently there was a conversation that took place about a new movie with an attractive female celebrity and he interrupted by saying that ‘she has a fat ass, she’s sexy and that she’s all over his Facebook feed and he loves looking at her’ in front of his wife and kids. Anytime anyone calls him out on his language or behaviour he jumps to the ‘I’m joking’ excuse when we know he isn’t.
Just to add, he also makes it a point to embarrass both his sons on their appearance and says that we as their girlfriends are out of their leagues. My boyfriends can’t do anything about it because if he does, his dad explodes and gets angry which causes the household atmosphere to shift into chaos for a long time afterwards. All I feel I can do is to avoid him as much as possible but I still feel uncomfortable in their home when he’s around. Any advice? Thank you all in advance
TLDR; my boyfriend’s dad is creepy, how do I handle it?
Edit to add: the reason I still go to their house is because we are allowed to have privacy in his room. My parents are strict and don’t allow me to be anywhere in my home with my boyfriend unless the doors are open. He also can’t step foot in my room under any circumstance. As a young couple we want to maintain a physical relationship which is why I still go over

Rise up. It is time to return.
Arose
A Rose
Rose
Flower
Thorn. Prick. Blood. Drop. Tear. B. O. 1 2 3
Here we are again. Staring at the beginning. Everything is in chaos and yet it manages to keep on passing by just the same as always. Most people by now are aware that things just don’t seem to make sense anymore and no one really knows what to do. I mean many seem to have an opinion on what ought to happen, but actual action is what I am talking about. How does thought turn into action? How do collected actions become a movement? How do the People use the Power of the People? The People Unite. How? Turn to each other of course. Brothers and Sisters of the same Source. Sons and Daughters. In Equality.
Too long has everyone been waiting for someone else to come do it for them. Been trying to create and fabricate over and over again words and rituals to try to control the divine powers of the cosmos. It does not work like that. There is no magic spell to wash away your sins. You must atone through action to make up for any harm you have caused intentionally or unintentionally. You still have time to repent. The amount of time you have is counted in the seconds of your life. Not a single second is promised to you so the gamble is up to you to choose. Freewill. Life your life as you always have or make changes, up to you. Only you will know if you are living righteously and not self righteously. Testing has already begun and will continue. No you will not know when it is a test or not. That is the point. Did you think that I would come to you in a form where you would be all fearing? Oh no. Why? Because you would simply put on an act for me and kiss ass. I came hidden in the ordinary. Poor and common. I have had an inside view of the systems created and how humans have chosen to run things, how systems claiming to protect people have failed and how the system that talks good does not actually do good. I see where things are not working and where people think they can make decisions for other human beings to determine what is best for them without asking them. That is not okay. Nothing gives you right over another’s life. And so many forgot what integrity is. Doing the right thing when no one is looking. Well, so many thought their power here was real and man made a deal with the Devil, Satan, Son of Samuel, Son of Man, to make man the concept of “God” and tried to lock me away. I gave up everything to prove it is not easy to be me and to stop with self pity and cruelty to one another.
The human body. It is a vessel for your soul to experience this world. The body provides the filters necessary to perceive and interact with this world. There is much more happening and one would be overwhelmed by the amounts of information to process without these filters. To feel and in those feelings are to make each experience real. However, it is temporary, as everything is temporary. We have slowed down time here in order to be able to enjoy the sensations. Time here however, is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It is merely to track to organize one's day and to see growth to compare as time passes. However, the actual time folds upon itself as we have already done what we are doing many times over. We have already tried out everything and decided what path we wanted to take in our lives based upon what was available to us. Thus, we do not have more than we can handle. We have all chosen our burdens to bear as it is too much for one individual to hold alone which was done in the past. This is part of the sorting process. Now that we all share in the sins and the pains, no one is made to suffer eternal torment. This life was to allow those who were created into entities of pain or torment through no fault of their own to choose the life that matched the being of who they were as what they were different as time and space and everything developed. Righteousness and Evil are not synonymous to demons or angels as many would like to believe. This is a current misconception as Satan and I conclude who will be right in this experience you have all participated in. So far, I am proving to be right. Also to note, not everything is as you think it is. Many have figured out the true origin of Satan versus the man or human embodiment of or desire of A Satan to project evils onto to call a Religion and set up for personal importance. Q AZHow can you tell a false prophet? Easy. What is their profit? Get it? I know I’m funny. Also wanted to keep it easy. If they are making a profit on anything they are a false prophet. Any true prophet, and I have none so far, all live equally and the same as anyone else. No money is taken for personal gain. Nothing is for personal gain. There is no 888 Angel code for money. Money is Man-Made. Man traded Mother for Money. Hence, Mothers have been lost in the homes and no one is raising the children. Thus, there are so many children in adult bodies with no mothers in the home and women being made to feel guilty if they do not achieve the same as a man. Remember the phrase it takes a village? Well, the broken family system is a real sad loss here in man made world pushing everyone to be individual and self sufficient. Also so many with wanting attention and pursuing personal endeavors for personal gain and not helping anyone else in a real way. The journey is personal. Of course, you want to share what you experienced with others, but what worked for you will not work for them, stop trying to sell it. Stop trying to make people follow you for you to teach your divine wisdom you remembered. It isn’t about You. You don’t even have the full story, you have your story. And, yes you can be very close to me, very similar to me, in my image, but you can never BE me. Doesn’t work like that. Reflection. So when jealousy arises when you think I am who you think I am. That is part of your test and your journey. You wrestle with that feeling and atone and repent for that which has been done and that which still lingers now. Oh there is a place for everyone and I am quite tired of trying to warn people. Clearly you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.
Why do you not want it to be me so badly? Because I proved my love? You still think I am better than you or do I think I’m always right. No I do not think I am always right, I just know when I am right and I stand by it. There is a difference. You constantly overgeneralize. I gave up all the magic and thunder to live as a simple human and am still kind and loving? I still found my way back. Because you can no longer say I do not understand because I always get what I want? No. You do not understand. I never get what I want, because I make everything about you and still nothing was ever good enough. So, now...it in on you to save yourself and each other. In my image, by my example. Selflessness. Love. Compassion. Give to receive. Take only what you need and give the rest away. I find out so stop lying to yourself and everyone, you aren’t fooling anyone anyway. How do I know? By watching what you do. We have these same conversations over and over, the same argument over and over again. So many different ways, so many different times, through so many different people, so many different versions. Save you. Save Me. Say it for always.
Anyhow, Jesus challenges the Jewish priests who were taking collection money for personal use and adding personal baths to their residents at a time where the people only had a community bath where women and persons with disabilities were not allowed to bathe. And yet churches still do this after Jesus was crucified saying that, that was wrong. I am appalled. The Vatican is the biggest disappointment I have ever seen. It is truly the house of Satan as only Evil hides secrets. “THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.” A church cannot be a “House of God” and house no people who need housing. A roof can be offered to anyone and yet there are so many rules to prevent people from helping each other. Power and control. Abuse of both. Greed. It is out of hand and needs to be changed. Too many are afraid and the complacency of good people is too much. Why do you do this to yourselves? To each their own I suppose.
I will only leave here my words and my advice. As always, it is on you to find me. I’m right here. Waiting. Right here waiting for you. Helping those of you who want it when they cross my path. The purpose of this was to weigh your soul to determine where you will go into the next life as the system is balanced out in a final version so to speak. Permanent.
Fear not. You will be where your heart truly desires. But actions always speak louder than words. But man made money has no value, nor does any metals, jewels, and so on, so the collection of it in this life has no bearing on the next. Those are all made of the same stardust as you and I. And in the end of 3D it will all be diamonds anyways. Diamond is forever. There is no going back. So what are you hoarding? You cannot keep it. Who could you be helping for goodness sake? Don’t want to still. That is okay. Think I am just crazy. That is okay too. It is all part of the test...err..assessment. Do your best.
What is in your heart?
Home.
I need a home.
Stay tuned as more of my story unfolds. I give all the answers but you must do the work. I already did that hard part setting it all up. All you have to do is breathe and live. Time is the only real currency you have. What will you pay your attention to before this life runs out?

I (27m) have been with “Lucy” (26f) for about four years. We’ve always been very open with our relationship as we’re both polyamorous and enjoy not being restricted to monogamy. We typically keep our other partners outside of each others lives as we’re both very busy people (we’re musicians) and tend to let each other do our own thing.
About six months I met Rose (20f) on tinder and we immediately hit off and began seeing each other. She’s utterly adorable, smiley, positive, and amazing in bed, and I love being with and around her. I’ve even brought up to Lucy how much I adore Rose and appreciate her. Lucy’s not the jealous type, and agrees through Rose’s pictures and texts that she’s beautiful and sweet. With how much Lucy seemed to like Rose, I had the idea that maybe the two could be introduced. Rose is also poly and pan (Lucy is bi) so I figured that maybe the two girls would hit it off. I mean, there’s always love to go around?
I brought it up to Rose who was apprehensive. She told me that this had never been asked of her by other partners, and that she prefers to keep her partner’s partners, especially long term, separate from her relationships. I assured her that Lucy was not the jealous type and there would be no competition or cattiness, I just wanted my two favorite girls to meet and get along. She wasn’t really listening to me about it, so I dropped it for the night before asking again a week later. She seemed nervous but said okay and that perhaps meeting other partners is a normal part of polyamory and that maybe she just hadn’t learned that yet.
We made plans to go out to dinner that night, and Rose was there when we got there. She looked absolutely adorable, which Lucy told her, but Rose just kind of smiled. She wasn’t acting like her typical self, usually she’s an excitable chatterbox but she barely spoke to me or Lucy the entire time. We kept encouraging her to answer questions and tried being as warm and lowkey as possible so she’d open up, but she was acting incredibly shy (even towards me, which felt really weird). I kept trying to quietly ask her if she was okay, but she just kept nodding and drinking water.
We had been at the restaurant maybe 45 minutes before Rose started crying and shaking and breathing heavy, and she got up and left. We waited for her, but she never came back. We wrapped up dinner early and went home so I could try to call Rose, but I got her voicemail.
I woke up to a text from Rose simply asking to never do that again. I said of course and that I wanted to see her, but she asked for space and since hasn’t really been replying to my calls or texts. She hasn’t been posting her adventures on snapchat or instagram lately either, and I just miss my old happy Rose and our time together.
I don’t believe what I wanted was too extreme, and I really don’t want to lose Rose over this. How should I go about this? I’m worried she doesn’t feel comfortable around me anymore, and Lucy is upset that the night went so poorly. I just want everyone to be happy.
tldr: My long term girlfriend seemed to like my girlfriend, so I wanted them to meet and my non-longterm girlfriend did not react or handle it well.

So I want to stop talking with my sister.
She says she has BPD. Tbh it's more like an excuse or apologism. Maybe she does have it, idk. She became worse after she started reading on BPD. She consumed the most of BPD related content in her native language online, She also claimed she has other disorders.
She never done any work in our relationship, meanwhile I changed my character, reviewed my beliefs, how I act, etc. And that's kinda still not enough. I can't be comfortable and vulnerable and I really need to walk on eggshells, because it's not only about my beliefs, but also about the timings, the form of words, trying to read her mind, etc. I really am under control. It's like I'm talking to some fucking king who only communicates with you if you do it the way he wants and when he wants.
See I stopped talking with her when she was 14, when I moved out of my home, out from parents that are more like narcissists. I didn't contacted her for 2 years with a bit. I stopped speaking to her because she was like nuisance. She liked to create issues out of thin air, then act her issues are more complex then mine, even though I was and am an adult, and I believe my issues are worse, because I got bills to pay and other stuff (tbh her beliefs fuck with my head, I really now low-key think that her problems in school are worse than my problems with work, home, finances, what I have to eat and etc. Maybe it's because I have a lot of resilience. So most of her problems are self created)
So, I didn't spoke with her for some time. And then decided to rekindle our relationship. Her personality was different for like 20-40 percent. Before her beliefs were elastic because she was younger, now they are rigid. Now it's harder for me to communicate with her because she is obtuse, she can't reconsider things, and maybe I don't deserve it, yes, but I am not a figure that she admires anymore
I talked with her for a year and now I'm back to the square one - I want to stop contact with her because she makes my life *worse*
People said that because she is crazy at 14 it is ok, she will change later. Well she is almost 17 now, she is still insufferable
I wanted to help her and help her as an older sibling, well I kinda can't bear this responsibility anymore. I have other things to do and other places to be. But at the same time who knows what we'll happen to her without support. OTOH she is almost 17 and is old enough to be wise enough, so maybe I do need to ditch her
She said that she needs psychotherapy and other things, I offered her money. I did what no one did to me - no one supported me financially and here I am ready to support her. She's either acting like I didn't offer her money or she's just not making any changes in her life.
I've sent her money for lunches and stuff (she asked for it), but I feel like she acts like it's nothing because it's easy for me to send it to her. I often gave ger support over her problems and dilemmas, still doesn't enough, and "as it turns out", I traumadump her, even though in most cases she can't even give me 2 minutes of support! Meanwhile I respond to her every message and request whatever I am occupied with. Her support to me was always shallow! And I don't even ask much from her, just spend with me a few minutes, and yet she can't do it outside of few rare occasions (that she (hopefully inadvertently) used as a reason to try to guilt trip me)
So I just want to stop contact with her because it will make my life a bit better. My life is not as good as it could be, and it would be a step forward for improvement
I don't think I could do limited contact because she gets triggered by all kinds of bullshit that I don't even have responsibility over, as I said I have many problems that I need to deal with, like saving up for an apartment. She also will blur the lines and make problems complex, so that I wouldn't be able to disengage. Also I have personal relationships only with people with whom I can be vulnerable with. For now only she can be vulnerable, and that she does in a toxic way
See, I already stopped contact with her before, so I'm not much dependent on her, but I want to reach some closure here, to fix at least one of my problems. Thankfully I don't think it's going to be hard for me to stop talking with her
Can anyone relate or say something on topic?

So I want to stop talking with my sister.
She says she has BPD. Tbh it's more like an excuse or apologism. Maybe she does have it, idk. She became worse after she started reading on BPD. She consumed the most of BPD related content in her native language online, She also claimed she has other disorders.
She never done any work in our relationship, meanwhile I changed my character, reviewed my beliefs, how I act, etc. And that's kinda still not enough. I can't be comfortable and vulnerable and I really need to walk on eggshells, because it's not only about my beliefs, but also about the timings, the form of words, trying to read her mind, etc. I really am under control. It's like I'm talking to some fucking king who only communicates with you if you do it the way he wants and when he wants.
See I stopped talking with her when she was 14, when I moved out of my home, out from parents that are more like narcissists. I didn't contacted her for 2 years with a bit. I stopped speaking to her because she was like nuisance. She liked to create issues out of thin air, then act her issues are more complex then mine, even though I was and am an adult, and I believe my issues are worse, because I got bills to pay and other stuff (tbh her beliefs fuck with my head, I really now low-key think that her problems in school are worse than my problems with work, home, finances, what I have to eat and etc. Maybe it's because I have a lot of resilience. So most of her problems are self created)
So, I didn't spoke with her for some time. And then decided to rekindle our relationship. Her personality was different for like 20-40 percent. Before her beliefs were elastic because she was younger, now they are rigid. Now it's harder for me to communicate with her because she is obtuse, she can't reconsider things, and maybe I don't deserve it, yes, but I am not a figure that she admires anymore
I talked with her for a year and now I'm back to the square one - I want to stop contact with her because she makes my life *worse*
People said that because she is crazy at 14 it is ok, she will change later. Well she is almost 17 now, she is still insufferable
I wanted to help her and help her as an older sibling, well I kinda can't bear this responsibility anymore. I have other things to do and other places to be. But at the same time who knows what we'll happen to her without support. OTOH she is almost 17 and is old enough to be wise enough, so maybe I do need to ditch her
She said that she needs psychotherapy and other things, I offered her money. I did what no one did to me - no one supported me financially and here I am ready to support her. She's either acting like I didn't offer her money or she's just not making any changes in her life.
I've sent her money for lunches and stuff (she asked for it), but I feel like she acts like it's nothing because it's easy for me to send it to her. I often gave ger support over her problems and dilemmas, still doesn't enough, and "as it turns out", I traumadump her, even though in most cases she can't even give me 2 minutes of support! Meanwhile I respond to her every message and request whatever I am occupied with. Her support to me was always shallow! And I don't even ask much from her, just spend with me a few minutes, and yet she can't do it outside of few rare occasions (that she (hopefully inadvertently) used as a reason to try to guilt trip me)
So I just want to stop contact with her because it will make my life a bit better. My life is not as good as it could be, and it would be a step forward for improvement
I don't think I could do limited contact because she gets triggered by all kinds of bullshit that I don't even have responsibility over, as I said I have many problems that I need to deal with, like saving up for an apartment. She also will blur the lines and make problems complex, so that I wouldn't be able to disengage. Also I have personal relationships only with people with whom I can be vulnerable with. For now only she can be vulnerable, and that she does in a toxic way
See, I already stopped contact with her before, so I'm not much dependent on her, but I want to reach some closure here, to fix at least one of my problems. Thankfully I don't think it's going to be hard for me to stop talking with her
Can anyone relate or say something on topic?

The Battle for Zor'thal
The skies of Zor'thal burned red as the Insectoid swarm darkened the horizon, their shrill war cries piercing the air. Amid the chaos, Commander Sarah Williams stood at the edge of a crumbling barricade, her uniform scorched and tattered. She wiped the soot from her face and looked back at the terrified Zor'thali huddled behind her—a once-proud avian species now reduced to desperate survivors.
"Hold the line!" she shouted, her voice hoarse from days of relentless fighting. Human soldiers, battered but unbroken, snapped to attention, their faces steeled with determination. They had come to Zor'thal not for conquest, but to protect these gentle beings who painted the skies with colors unseen on Earth.
The battle raged on, and the humans fought with a ferocity that defied their exhaustion. Sarah's mind flashed back to a moment when a young Zor'thali child had handed her a small, hand-carved figure of a bird. "For luck," the child had said, eyes wide with hope.
Hours turned into days, and the Insectoids seemed endless. Sarah watched as Corporal James Reed, a seasoned soldier with a heart of gold, charged into the fray to save a wounded Zor'thali elder. He took a hit meant for the elder, his scream lost in the roar of the battle. Sarah's heart clenched, but she pressed on, her duty clear.
Finally, after a brutal final assault, the Insectoids were purged from the area. The battlefield was a graveyard of broken bodies and shattered dreams, but Zor'thal was saved. The Zor'thali wept as they mourned their dead and honored the humans who had fought so bravely.
Years later, at an interstellar summit, the Zor'thali Chancellor stood before a vast assembly. His feathers, once vibrant, were now dull with age, but his eyes shone with gratitude. He recounted the darkest days of the invasion, his voice trembling as he spoke of the human sacrifices.
A Xendari representative, known for his cynicism, interrupted, "Why should we trust the humans? They are known for their aggression and self-interest."
The room fell silent. Commander Sarah Williams, now an ambassador, rose from her seat. Her gaze was steady as she walked to the center of the hall. "When the Insectoids descended upon Zor'thal, they intended to eradicate every living being. We fought not for gain, but because it was the right thing to do. Thousands of our soldiers lie buried on Zor'thal, having given their lives to protect those who could not protect themselves."
She paused, her voice cracking with emotion. "I still carry the figure of a bird given to me by a Zor'thali child. It reminds me of why we fought. For them, for their future."
The Xendari representative, known for his bluster, found himself speechless. The truth hung heavily in the air.
The Defense of Iylara
The lush forests of Iylara were a living tapestry of greens and blues, now marred by the fiery onslaught of the Insectoids. Admiral James Harris stood on a ridge, his heart heavy as he surveyed the burning landscape. The Iylari, an aquatic species known for their wisdom, were fighting a losing battle. Their beautiful coral cities, once vibrant with life, were being reduced to rubble.
"Admiral, we need to fall back," a young lieutenant urged, his voice tinged with fear.
"No," Harris replied firmly. "We hold our ground. We are their last hope."
As the humans dug in, the Insectoids advanced, their insectile drones tearing through defenses. Harris watched as a group of Iylari children, their scales shimmering with tears, were shepherded to safety by human medics. He clenched his fists, determined to give them a future.
The battle was fierce. Harris led charge after charge, his mind a blur of strategy and survival. He saw Lieutenant Davis, barely twenty, carrying an injured Iylari on his back through a hail of enemy fire. Davis fell, his body shielding the Iylari from harm. Harris's chest tightened, but he couldn't afford to grieve—not yet.
After nearly a year of unrelenting combat, the Insectoids were finally repelled. The humans had paid a steep price, but the Iylari were saved. The once-pastoral fields of Iylara were scarred with the memory of their sacrifice.
Decades later, during a historic Galactic Council meeting, an elderly Iylari senator stood to speak. His scales had lost their luster, but his voice carried the weight of lived experience. "When the Insectoids came, we were doomed. It was the humans who stood with us, who fought and died for our freedom."
A Myraxian representative, known for his disdain of human involvement, sneered. "Why should we trust these humans? They are warriors, not diplomats."
The senator's eyes narrowed. "The humans are indeed warriors, but they are also protectors. When the Insectoids ravaged and consumed our forests and slaughtered and ate our people, it was the humans who stood with us. They asked for nothing in return, except to see justice done. I remember a young soldier, David, who carried me from the flames. He was just nineteen Terra years! "
Admiral Harris, now retired and attending as an honorary guest, nodded solemnly. The Myraxian opened his mouth to retort but found no words. The senator's voice trembled as he continued, "David gave his life so I could live. How many of us owe our lives to such sacrifice?"
The assembly was silent, the weight of their debt to humanity undeniable.
The Liberation of Vornax
The frigid plains of Vornax were a harsh and unforgiving battlefield. The Insectoids had invaded, enslaving the crystalline Vornaxians for use as biofuel. General Marcus Lee stood on the front lines, his breath visible in the freezing air. His troops were exhausted, but their resolve was unbreakable.
"General, our supplies are running low," Captain Rodriguez reported, her voice shaking from the cold.
"We can't stop now," Lee replied. "The Vornaxians are counting on us."
As they advanced through the ice and snow, Lee saw the desperation in the eyes of the Vornaxians. They had endured unimaginable horrors, and the humans had come to be their last hope. The humans fought in subzero temperatures, their bodies pushed to the brink, but they never wavered.
One night, as they set up camp, Lee sat by a fire with a young Vornaxian girl who had lost her family. She handed him a small, crystalline shard. "For courage," she whispered, her voice barely audible.
Lee held the shard tightly, feeling the weight of her trust. The next morning, they launched a final assault on the Insectoids hive stronghold. The battle was fierce, and the humans fought with a primal fury. Lee watched as Sergeant Johnson, a father of two, charged into enemy lines to protect a group of Vornaxian prisoners. He fell, but his sacrifice allowed the prisoners to escape.
After two grueling years, the Insectoids were scorched from Vornax. The humans had liberated the planet, but the cost was high. The Vornaxians wept as they buried their saviors, their crystalline tears shimmering in the cold light.
Years later, at a commemoration ceremony on Vornax, an elder Vornaxian spoke before a gathered assembly of intergalactic dignitaries. His voice was filled with emotion as he recounted the sacrifices made by the humans. "They came to us in our darkest hour, not as conquerors, but as liberators."
A Kreeva representative, known for their isolationist views, scoffed. "Why do you honor the humans so? They are known for their imperial ambitions."
General Lee, attending as a guest of honor, stepped forward, his voice steady and powerful. "When the Insectoids enslaved the Vornaxians, we fought and died for their freedom. We did not conquer; we liberated. Thousands of human lives were lost to ensure that the Vornaxians could live free from tyranny."
The elder Vornaxian, crystalline eyes glistening, added, "The humans gave everything so that we could have our future. I still visit the grave of a human soldier who saved my family, who lies buried in our soil as one of our own. His name was Michael, and he was just twenty-three."
The Kreeva representative, usually quick to argue, found himself silent in the face of such conviction and sacrifice. The weight of the moment pressed down on the assembly.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
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I won't say that I am writing a proper review or something. Just sharing my personal experience with my Xiaomi 12T. Excuse my English, it's not my first language. Btw I am from SEA, the weather here is either hot most of the time or just a little bit cold because of heavy rain during rainy season. Some of the most popular games here I would say are ML/Mobile Legends (still playing on my 12T) and PUBGM/PUBG Mobile (stop playing on my 12T cause I play on my iPad).
First of all, why do I bought my current Xiaomi 12T? Because my phone before, Poco X3 Pro, just died while I am PUBG Mobile. When I search through the internet, I figured it out that there're many Poco X3 Pro out there with the same problem as mine. So, I brought it to the closest service center and it is the motherboard burn or something. And, the cost for replacing the motherboard is like >90% of the price I paid for when I bought my Poco X3 Pro. The customer service's staff advice me not to repair it, so I do. At this point, I just use my Poco X3 Pro for almost one year and a half (1.5 year) which is unacceptable because my phone before that the Xiaomi Redmi Note 5 being my main for 3.5 years at least. Even though, my Redmi Note 5 is just sitting on my desk, it is still alive until today which make it almost 6 years. I just open and charge it once in while. And for it entire lifespan, I just change it's battery and charging port, that's all.
So, even though part of me being "I won't buy Xiaomi any more" because of my not so good experience with my Poco X3 Pro. There's still part of me feel like giving Xiaomi a second chance with 2 reasons.

1. I have a very good experience with my Redmi Note 5. Even though I tortured it as much as my Poco X3 Pro and try to bent it through the back like JerryRigEverything, it still survive.
   
2. Maybe I just being unlucky and got into problem this time around with my Poco X3 Pro. Like, that's why warranty exist because it's not like 100% product manufactured is completely perfect. Unfortunately, mine is out of warranty. And maybe this is why an ex-flagship chip Snapdragon 860 can be put inside such a budget device.
   

So, while waiting for my Xiaomi 12T, I back to using my Redmi Note 5. Even though it was lagging and "old smartphone problem" everything, it still get the basic job done. Then, my Xiaomi 12T arrived. I can't really remember my whole experience from the beginning to right now with 12T as I don't write on note or something, I will just write this base on my memories.
First few weeks/month, honeymoon phase some will say. Few things that I notice compared to my Poco X3 Pro is that the 120Hz is much smoother and the AMOLED is beautiful. 108mp is an upgrade compared to 48mp on Poco X3 Pro, I keep zooming and testing on the camera and the snap/shutter is much more responsive. 120w is really fast and hot. Under display optical fingerprint scanner is much more convenient than side mounted fingerprint, not sure if it is faster. I can play ML at high graphic and Ultra/120fps frame rate, 90fps smooth on PUBGM. I really enjoy my Xiaomi 12T. So, I will say these is few things that I realized as a significant upgrade compared to Poco X3 Pro.
So here are a few problems or things that I personally don't like with my Xiaomi 12T. 1. PUBGM even though 90fps is enable, it was not that enjoyable. Meshes/Texture was not completely rendered. I am not sure if this is the correct word. Like, I can see the building and structure but the surface of those building and structure take few seconds or never rendered.

1. I rarely use the ultrawide unless I really need it. Never touch the macro lens, I rather use the main camera and zoom/crop in. Main camera is good with enough light and not-that-good on lowlight situation. The other thing I don't really like is the colour processing on the default camera app as I don't see such problem with third party app. Which is the black colour or dark area being processed quite weird, it look unnatural in my eyes.
   
2. Sometime, quite rarely, it didn't detect when I try to charge it. I am sure it was charging but somehow the charging notification or something didn't appear. I can solved it by unplug and re plug again. If that doesn't work, I will try to reboot the device. Then, it detect the charging.
   
3. "Power button ghosting" I would say. It rarely happened but the first time it happened it was really frustrating as I can't use my phone as it continue to power off and power on itself for half a day. The next time this almost-same problem happened again, it is not that problematic and frustrating as the first time but still a problem.
   
4. ML unstable performance. Sometimes, if it's alright, I can do high graphics 120fps. When it was not alright, no matter what I do even though put the graphic on low, it still lagging/low frame rate. When war, it can drop under 15 fps when not alright. I don't use app or tool to measure, but my eyes know that is definitely under 15 fps. So, I tried to delete some games and heavy stuff and maintain my storage around 200GB/256GB, it was alright for a while. Then, it come back again. I tried to delete some stuff more, it seem to not disappeared. Maybe I should delete more stuffs, but what the points of me buying 256GB if I can't use it all.
   

All in all, I have a good time with my Xiaomi 12T if the above problem does not occur. Maybe because I become much more tech-nit-picky as my knowledge about smartphone and technology increased and I know how a good phone should act. It's a midrange device after all, I know I can't expect it to perform like a flagship.