Lamictal wikipedia

I’m a hypochondriac! My neuro wants me to start a cocktail of Zonegran (350) and Dilantin (2 pills).
My main fears with this new med are the extreme hair growth, “medically induced” gingivitis, alleged cancer, and, well, just read the Wikipedia!
Have any of you experienced (at the very least) common side effects? Are they easily treatable/reversible, especially if you stop the medication?
Edit: prior meds for me were Lamictal and Keppra. The main reason I’m taking the Dilantin cocktail is because it, along with Zonegran, is once daily (ideal for my schedule).
Update: I left a voicemail with my neuro’s RN expressing my concerns. I told her that I’m seeing a gastroenterologist in October (forgot to mention that Zonegran has been causing chronic diarrhea) and if the gastro can stabilize that problem (and my neuro doesn’t mind) then we’re fine.

Dear fellow kava-enthusiasts,
I’ve recently seen several posts regarding the occurrence of hives, rashes and other weird skin reactions linked to the use of kava.
I noticed this, because a while ago I started on Lamotrigine (Lamictal). This is an anti-convulsive/mood-stabilizer medication that needs careful dose-titration, because it is possible that one develops a potentially serious skin reaction. Lamictal carries a boxed warning.
“Lamotrigine prescribing information has a black box warning about life-threatening skin reactions, including Stevens–Johnson syndrome (SJS), DRESS syndrome, and toxic epidermal necrolysis (TEN).”
(see wiki/lamotrigine and boxed warning)
When taking this medication, caution is advised, and one should watch for possible symptoms indicative of one of these conditions. The same is true, to varying degrees, for several other anti-convulsant, anti-epileptic and/or mood stabilizing drugs, including, but not limited to: carbamazepine, phenytoin, gabapentin, valproic acid and others.
It seems, that these medications often share one or more mechanisms, that has/have to do with modulation of ion channels. In particular:- blocking (or modulating) voltage-gated sodium channels- blocking (or modulating) voltage-gated calcium channels- and/or a positive modulation of the Gaba-A receptors (a ligand gated ion channel)
This may be relevant as kava and particularly kavain seem to have comparable mechanisms of action. (see for instance kava similar to established mood stabilizers) There may be a link here that one should be aware of.
For those of you who experienced something along these lines, be prudent. It may be best to stop taking kava for a while and if you want to restart because you like the effects, start on a low dose and slowly increase. If your reaction seems serious, go get this checked out by a doctor. This might be more than just an allergic or an uncomfortable histamine-related reaction. Of course this does not exclude an allergy, impurities or low quality products.
I am not a medicinal professional nor student in this field. I don’t even consider myself particularly experienced in the use of kava. I simply have an interest in pharmacology and in this drink. I’m making this post to point out a possible danger associated with the use of kava that doesn’t seem to be talked about. I do not intent to scare anybody or advise against the use of this drink.
I hope that some people more knowledgeable than me might chip in in order to add to, correct, verify, or criticize this information.

Me: 29M, 5'10", 160lb, Caucasian, on Invega (once every 3 month injection of Invega Trinza, lowest dose) due to past diagnosis of bipolar disorder or schizoaffective disorder bipolar type, no other drugs of any sort or supplements. I see my general practitioner annually for a checkup and blood work and all my blood work is normal except for low good cholesterol. I got a brain MRI with contrast and it showed no sign of anything medically wrong with it.
My backstory: I had type I bipolar disorder starting at age 13 with episodes once every couple years. Over time the episodes became shorter and shorter and closer and closer together. By the time I was maybe 24 I was having involuntary mood swings multiple times a day (ultradian cycling bipolar). Around this time I was also having delusions but no visual or auditory hallucinations or disorganized communication so my diagnosis was switched from bipolar to schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type) but I don't agree with the change of diagnosis for a number of reasons (for example because Wikipedia says "the main criterion for a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder is the presence of psychotic symptoms for at least two weeks without any mood symptoms present" and that was never true for me). Eventually I was put on antipsychotics for the delusions but the delusions didn't go away until being on the antipsychotics for like 3-6 months and the delusions can go away on their own without antipsychotics in the same amount of time so I don't have any reason to believe that the antipsychotics were the cause of the delusions going away given that antipsychotics are supposed to produce most of their effect within one month. Anyway, then the bipolar and schizoaffective symptoms went away for the most part and I started having all sorts of neurological symptoms. For example a stop sign that I was directly staring at while standing appeared to get further away or closer than it actually was (called Alice in Wonderland syndrome). Once while I was on the phone I involuntarily went into a foreign (Southern) accent, called Foreign Accent Syndrome. There was a time where it felt like a light switch went off in my head and then while I had a weird sensation in my head I was unable to talk. At one point a neurologist put into my medical records "Temporal Lobe Epilepsy" based on the symptoms I was describing at the time which to him resembled simple partial seizures like a sudden sensation in my head and then a feeling of deja vu, smelling an unpleasant burnt smell, sudden very intense fear, involuntary shaking in parts of my body, etc. That being said, I got two EEG's read by three different doctors (one video EEG was read by an epileptologist and the other non-video EEG was read by one general neurologist and one epileptologist) and all three doctors said the EEG's just showed muscle artifact despite me pushing a button when I experienced symptoms. These symptoms have since gone away and been replaced with other symptoms. I can't remember or describe all the weird symptoms I've experienced over the past five-ish years. These last few days my eyes have been involuntarily moving, making it almost impossible to read. I have tried Lithium plus every anticonvulsant for bipolar disorder (Lamictal, Depakote, Topimirate, Carbamazapine) plus maybe 10 different antipsychotics and nothing makes any difference in the weird neurological symptoms. The neurologists I've seen don't know and either say "try another neurologist/epileptologist" or "sometimes psych patients have pseudo-seizures" and put 'pseudo-seizures" in my medical records, but the stange thing is that pseudo-seizures resemble whole body shaking or staring into space and there is no such thing as "simple partial pseudo-seizures" which is apparently sort of what I have. Like there is no such thing as "pseudo-seizures which resemble simple partial seizures", and also it seems almost as if the part of my brain affected "moves" over time such that for a period of time the symptoms mostly resemble temporal-lobe-ish simple partial seizures and then it's mostly occipital-lobe-ish simple partial seizures and then it's speech based symptoms, then movement on one side of my body, then movement on one side of my face, etc. It's very strange.
Disability Related Info: I initially gave up work due to cognitive issues and also (later on) having developed a sleep disorder starting a year ago called Non-24-Hour Sleep-Wake-Disorder where basically I go to sleep and wake up an average of an hour later each day than I did the day before regardless of exposure to sunlight, but I believe the government (for my disability benefits) is under the impression that the reason for me not working is the bipolaschizoaffective stuff, which it is not. I am still on psychiatric drugs because the first thing the government asks when reviewing a psychiatric disability case is what psychiatric drugs are you taking and will deny a case if the applicant refuses to take psychiatric medication which the government believes could help them, so I'm taking psychiatric medication even though I do not actually believe it works on me. I also have unfixable personality problems which interfere with my ability to do things like be a friend to other people, date, be a boyfriend, be a good employee, etc. I also can't safely drive a car despite taking a class. It might be possible for me to stop taking any psychiatric medication but my psychiatrist would have to say in the medical records that it is his decision and I am not doing it against his advice. Even if I am not taking any psychiatric medication I am required to see a doctor and provide updates regularly.
Question: Anyway, given my normal EEGs and MRI and past psychiatric ailment, should I just give up on trying to get an explanation for or treatment for my weird neurological symptoms? Be brutally honest - is this probably some sort of functional brain thing for which no well-understood explanation can be obtained such that seeing more doctors is probably a waste of time? Is there any other tests worth trying that I haven't done or is EEG and MRI with contrast everything?
Update: I saw a third neurologist/epileptologist and besides the MRI and EEG he didn't have any concrete brain scans of any sort to recommend and he didn't know what I had based on my symptoms so at this point I've basically given up. He suggested maybe trying some sort of psychological/cognitive based testing to check for things like memory loss but I'm afraid to take that sort of testing before my Social Security Continuing Disability Review because in the past I have had high (I'm talking over 125) IQ test scores and I'm afraid above average scores in some areas will give the impression to the government that I can work and result in me getting kicked off benefits.

On Wikipedia (and its bibliography links, which I followed as much as I could) it's stated that there is no conclusive evidence to prove the efficacy of Neurontin in treating mood disorders, specifically Bipolar. It sounds odd that no health institution in EU or USA has approved this use and indeed, it's not indicated as a mood stabiliser on its label. Yet, I've talked with doctors who are adamant that it is a staple one, to the point of putting it above Lamictal. What's the current consensus in the scientific community?

Tylenol interferes with Lamictal, and NSAIDs like ibuprofen (my favourite) with lithium. LOL. Thought I’d ask since I’m coming down with a cold. I suppose Tylenol/acetaminophen would be the less risky choice.
Fuck, but this disorder sucks.
Edit to summarise the results of the discussions below in case someone stumbles across this and is worried, like I was:
The interaction between Tylenol and Lamictal is debatable. Drug interaction checkers don’t report it, only a single study and the German Wikipedia page do.
Lithium and NSAIDs can probably be taken together with caution, it’s just possible it interferes with lithium serum concentrations and should be monitored. But ASK YOUR DOCTOR FIRST, especially if you have to take more than the small, occasional amount of NSAIDs, and keep your lithium serum levels checked!!!
Still, this disorder sucks. Lol.

They would harvest the eggs of pufferfish and soak them in water to reduce the potency of the toxin to a therapeutic dose. Tetrodotoxin is a sodium channel blocker, much like Lamictal and CBD.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetrodotoxin

For the past few years I've been having various bizarre neuropsychiatric symptoms coming and going. Things like my handwriting getting smaller (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micrographia_(handwriting)), things appearing further away than they actually are (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micropsia) or oscillating between closer and farther. Photos coming out of pictureframes and then receeding back in. Sudden very loud tinnitus. Involuntary muscle contractions. I got an MRI and it didn't show anything unusual other than a little asymmetry in my temporal horn of lateral ventricle (MRI here: https://www.dicomlibrary.com/meddream/?study=1.2.826.0.1.3680043.8.1055.1.2020031212391926.284522606.77647449 ). EEG didn't show any seizures and anti-seizure medications like Depakote, Lamictal, and Carbamazapine didn't help. Medications in general haven't done anything, including antipsychotics. Any guesses as to what it could possibly be?

i did my three weeks of six infusions. today is monday and i finished on thursday. after my first infusion, i felt euphoric. the second, i felt well. the 3rd-6th, I was so obsessed I guess with the first two, and I was so preoccupied with what I was going through... I was trying to make sense of every little thing. All I can say looking back for sure is that I definitely improved regarding my eating disorder, and I showered once (that's the least fun stuff to admit.) I am in a recovery clinic from alcohol. I have done well for about a year. I have a great support system. I go to 4 meetings a week and it is much more helpful than any 12 step system has ever been. They provide medically assisted treatment there. My prescriber has had me on Wellbutrin, Lamictal, Klonopin, and Vistaril to manage my symptoms of depression. No one has touched my meds in 3 years because I literally just couldn't take the thought of things getting worse. I didn't care about getting better. I just don't want to be here--please, it's bad enough, just don't poke me. A girl in my group got the treatment and I spoke to her, she told me her symptoms and that it saved her life. I have known her for months and she spoke of the same exact symptoms. Our counselor sat in with her (and me) and only had hope that it would be immensely helpful for me. My provider himself wrote his thesis on ketamine assisted therapy for TRD. The administering doctor however did a very quick intake... It was expensive. I spent money I didn't have, and there was no integration therapy sessions... I don't know, maybe I am asking for too much. I know how difficult it is to find and get the treatment for people. For me, the fact that I was doing really poorly, that I could have my own providers literally do it in my back yard in a week just by making a phone call, I guess I rushed into it but it seemed urgent. Like an opportunity that might slip away if I took any more time. So i had about 1 week to research. My friend told me only what she could, which honestly wasn't that much. My counselor, but also, couldn't tell me much because she sat in... the doctor himself and my doctor didn't really explain much that I couldn't find on wikipedia and how it works in contrast to other antidepressants. I have a private therapist and she is completely inexperienced and knew nothing about the process. I have had a decent amount of experience with psychedelics, and no one seemed to want to talk about how much of that was a part of it... I basically went into it blind, and after finding some effects I didn't know what was happening to me... because there were times when i did NOT FEEL good. I FELT really, REALLY sad. But it felt okay. I told a friend, I Just feel okay. It felt well, it felt healthy. But it felt hard, and sad, and I hate to say heartbreaking but it's how I felt and how I still feel. Crushed. No one would really explain anything to me except say well let's see don't rush to judgment let's see until after your next infusion... then your next... and then the night before the last one I just lost it, crying, not suicidal but too crushed to do anything but show up. Too tired to ask for any more help. I was the reason the words "hopeless" and "helpless" existed in the dictionary. And so I just showed up, I brought my mom. While I was under my mom spoke with the doctor. He thought early on that I might have too high expectations. And I honestly really didn't. He was like, you just need to know it's not a magic bullet. And it was frustrating because I've taken drugs before and I know what it's like to have expectations, and my mindset is just different. I imagine that a friend of mine and my counselor and my doctor and most people on here probably were more hopeful than I was and feeling better from the treatments also. Either way, I'm four days out. I'm tired. My eating disorder is creeping back in. I'm tired, always tired. And I had terrible insomnia before the treatments, so did they just knock me out? (Literally, after I would have one I would go home and sleep all day probably because of the sleep debt I've accumulated over the years.) But nothing is happening. You'd still have a really hard time convincing me that anything or anyone was worth doing, seeing, getting out of bed for. Again maybe I am just tired.
​
All I know is that I went through this process in what feels like no plan, no system during, and no follow-up treatment. It felt like going to a casino and throwing $250 on a roulette table 2x a week, and not knowing the rules. Not that there really are any. But I know that there are things that would help or hinder the treatments. And I feel like I got the sh*t end of the stick, honestly.
​
I need someone to help me understand this, tell me that it doesn't work for some people, explain why it works for people just like me and saved their lives but not mine. Why no one walked me through it, why I don't know how to talk about it and ask for help, why asking for help I still feel like someone spun me around 10x and then told me to walk towards something and see how it works. I feel kind of discarded. I don't know how I feel today. I have been too tired since and throughout the treatments to really do much other than watch youtube videos and post once on here. But I'm trying to reach out and understand more thoroughly because still so little of it makes sense and other people seem to be okay and I still have questions. So many that again, I was so relieved to have the treatment finished not because they were unhelpful necessarily but because they were so fucking confusing and I felt so alone and in my head, and alone.
​
I really could use someone to talk to and I'm sorry. I just know that people on here understand, maybe someone can tell me from the outside, who has experience, and maybe can explain to me why it "didn't take," or why it is feeling that way. Did I get insufficient treatment? Is it working and I just don't realize it? Do I need more infusions?
​
I don't understand.
​
Please, if someone can help me, I'd be so grateful to hear what you think. I'm sorry I am not articulating very well. It's been one of the hang ups. I mean, if I were well enough to articulate how I was feeling, I probably wouldn't have qualified for the treatment. But I did, and I still am confused.
​
I hope everyone here is healing really well and I have hope for myself. I know I can figure things out and someone will be able to help me somehow someday, I hope sooner than later. Because I feel so much pain and exhaustion and I know so many others do and it's not fair, to have gone what we've gone through, and then to be either given empty promises or actually hurt by the system and people that said they were going to help. I really pray hard that we can all get better. No one deserves to live with this, it's unacceptable. If there are people who can find relief, there should be hope for all of us. i'm not going to flag this as a failure story, but as a question. because I'd like to believe that it wasn't for nothing and that I just am blind to a certain perspective that I haven't been enlightened to yet.
​
So again, tl;dr, praying for you, and hoping that someone wouldn't mind talking me through maybe my experience and help me understand.
​
thanks so much everyone, god bless.

I know the meds will help but I'm scared of not knowing how exactly. So recently I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder II and OCD. I wanna take my meds but first I wanna have more information from actual people not wikipedia page... I just have this fear that these meds will make me somehow worse (I know it's irrational).
I've been prescribed Lamotrigine (Lamictal) and in four weeks I should end up taking 50mg a day.
And Pregabalin (Lyrica) and should end up taking 150mg in two weeks.
I'm relatively healthy, female in my early 20s. I've been only on SSRIs for a year or two in my teens. Never on mood stabilizers.
Can anybody tell me about their personal experience with these meds? Thank you!
*I've searched for posts about these meds but I don't think I found any experiences of people taking those two here. If I'm wrong please correct me.

Sorry in advance for a very lenghty first post, i hope you take the time to read it.
F38 put Lexapro for the first time in my life after a series of stressful life events.

• new prestige job
• end of 7 year long relationship (living with stepkids)
• moving house due to this
• father becoming ill with cancer and dying
• dealing with inheritance f.ex a house and becoming a landlord

...and relating events during a 6 month span. Scored approx 750 on the The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale)
Managed to somehow keep on working fulltime, but after being riddened with sorrow, depression and anxiety attacks - compulsively calling my ex for help - my psychologist recommended Seroquel 25 mg due to its «instant effects». This hit me to the ground, I felt drugged and could barely get out of bed so stopped after 3 days.
Started on Lexapro 5 mg end Jan and 10 mg Feb. Mid Feb I notice a postive change and i continiously improve, only catch is that I have to take antihistamines to avoid itching myself to death due to hives / urticaria.
Fast foreward 3 months end april, after being home officed due to Covid19, I am starting to experience hypomania with most of syptoms present. I figure this out by reading wikipedia when trying to figure out what is wrong. I start drinking alchohol every night as it makes me feel genious - and use evenings and nights to make grand plans. At the same time I am quite nervous as I feel something is clearly wrong - it feels like «my brain and body is running to fast» and im afraid to get a stroke or heart attack. I seek help from my psychologist that prescribed antidepressants to begin with and she recommend me to taper down to 5 mg Lexapro for a week, take Valium / Diazepam 5 mg to calm down when needed (basically all the time) and Zopiclone Actavis 7,5 mg to sleep. I stop Lexapro 4th of may and replace with Quetiapine Teva 25 mg x2 before bed.
I get sectioned 8th of may after a doctors visit and diagnosed BP2: Hypomanic. Get out the 9th, increasingly chaotic i get sectioned again 12th of May - this time diagnosed BP1: Manic with psychotic features. They do all my bloodwork and test me for HIV - but no CT, MRI scans or EEG. I am reluctant to treatment as SSRI seem to be the root cause to all of this, but get involutary medicated with Haloperidol, Orfiril and Zyprexa / Olanzepine starting 19th of May - increasingly getting better before released from the hospital 23 of june. Use the rest of summer feeling like a living dead...
I have never experienced this type of mood swings before and never been hypomanic / manic / or had a psychosis or any other psychiatric illnesses. I have previously had 2 depressive / down episodes due to stress (school / jobs / and life events) but medicine wasnt required. Both these episodes lasted for a couple of months 2010 & 2015.
No family history of BP, but my grandfather was trubbled with major depressive disorder (mother side), my aunt experienced Postpartum depresjon (mother side) and another aunt with eating disorder (father side). My father experienced hypomania after having brain metastasis due to his cancer, but this stopped after a couple of weeks.
I have used antidepressants before in the form of «stop smoking pills» Champix (2012) and Zyban / Wellbutrin (2018) without anything happening other than feeling a bit restless whilst taking Zyban and nauseous while on Champix. And tried St.Johns wort during one of my depressed episodes, but no big effect so i stopped.
After being out from the hospital i continued taking zyprexa / olanzepine but tapered down from 20mg to until august in agreement with my then psychiatrist - but against hospital advice that wanted to keep me on 20mg Zyprexa / Olanzepine for 6 months. Medicine free i started to become increasingly depressed -
Moving towns to return to work 50% mid august, my new psyciatrist want to put me on Lithium, but says i must be willing to be on this for years as stopping and starting can trigger mood swings. At the same time he is not sure if i am BP1 or if I had a acute psychosis due to stress. So we have agreed on no lithium before I potentially have another manic / hypomanic episode.
End august i try Lamictal 25 mg (but itches like crazy and instantly become tired). Decide to go back on Lexapro 5 mg in combination with Zyprexa 2,5 / 5 mg. After a month I stop taking Zyprexa due to tiredness and continue Lexapro 5 mg - nothing has happened yet - other than it seem that Lexapro is lifting my depression to a liveable level. I am prepared to start Zyprexa immediatly if I feel my mood gets elevated. Still taking antihistamine for hives / urticaria.
Allthough antidepressants seem to work I feel quite affected by anhedonia, my brain feels dull and slow and I have an increased need for sleep. This worsens with Zyprexa...Following the psychiatric chain of thought that «depression is a ‘chemical imbalance’ that antidepressants can help reverse». I have suggested trying a NDRI, but my psychiatrist is reluctant to do this as I am now stable on Lexapro. But it seems to me in that case i lack more than just serotonin due to my anhedonia and lack of motivation (f.ex in work that has previously been my great passion).
Trying to deal with this I have started taking supplements in the form of multivitamin/minerals, thyrosine and taurin - as i understand these will increase neurotransmitters naturally. Have concidered, but decided against Tryptophan as I am on Lexapro and this alone should increase serotonin. After being on this for approx 2 weeks i have felt some increase in motivation.
Im trying to make sense of all this, listening to the psychiatrists - but at the same time having some critical thinking as i am reluctant to take medicine unless its nesessary. Especially since it seems to me that medicine was the root cause for this whole ordeal to begin with, in addition to prolonged stress. Or - maybe there is something else im missing trying to make sense of it all? Or am I trying to make sense out of something that doesnt make sense - i just have to wait and see?
Is it possible for me to have had BP all along? With 5 year cycle between episodes with my 2 depressive episodes (2010 / 2015) and mania (2020)? If that is the case I had no need for medication between episodes, and i am afraid to start on a lifelong medication regime with potentially quite severe side effects. Or...?
I have quite a lot of questions as I dont have any experience with BP and I dont know anyone with BP, hence the reason reaching out in this community. Everything I know i have read or gotten information from psychologists / psychiatrics. The latter having 4 different people with 4 different opinions on my diagnosis during the last year...
So - here it goes:

• What do you make of this experience?
• Is there anyone with similar experiences?
• Have anyone had the same reaction to SSRI after the same amount of time? (3 months)
• Anyone having same reaction to Lexapro, but not other antidepressants?
• Is SSRI induced mania always true BP1 and should always be medicated?
• Is it possible to have BP1 and have a stable life without the use of medications?
• Is it possible to have 5 years cycles with BP1?
• Anyone ever only experienced a single manic episode?
• How long does it take to recover from a manic episode?
• Anyone feel like they are cognitively impaired after an episode - how long does it take before this improves?
• Are there any supplements that are better than others if i want to try improve my depression naturally instead of using antidepressants / antipsychotics / mood stabilizers.
• What can I do other than medication to try to avoid another manic episode?
• What can I do other than medication to pull me out of a depressive episode?

Sorry in advance for a very lenghty first post, i hope you take the time to read it.
F38 put Lexapro for the first time in my life after a series of stressful life events.

• new prestige job
• end of 7 year long relationship (living with stepkids)
• moving house due to this
• father becoming ill with cancer and dying
• dealing with inheritance f.ex a house and becoming a landlord

...and relating events during a 6 month span. Scored approx 750 on the The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale)
Managed to somehow keep on working fulltime, but after being riddened with sorrow, depression and anxiety attacks - compulsively calling my ex for help - my psychologist recommended Seroquel 25 mg due to its «instant effects». This hit me to the ground, I felt drugged and could barely get out of bed so stopped after 3 days.
Started on Lexapro 5 mg end Jan and 10 mg Feb. Mid Feb I notice a postive change and i continiously improve, only catch is that I have to take antihistamines to avoid itching myself to death due to hives / urticaria.
Fast foreward 3 months end april, after being home officed due to Covid19, I am starting to experience hypomania with most of syptoms present. I figure this out by reading wikipedia when trying to figure out what is wrong. I start drinking alchohol every night as it makes me feel genious - and use evenings and nights to make grand plans. At the same time I am quite nervous as I feel something is clearly wrong - it feels like «my brain and body is running to fast» and im afraid to get a stroke or heart attack. I seek help from my psychologist that prescribed antidepressants to begin with and she recommend me to taper down to 5 mg Lexapro for a week, take Valium / Diazepam 5 mg to calm down when needed (basically all the time) and Zopiclone Actavis 7,5 mg to sleep. I stop Lexapro 4th of may and replace with Quetiapine Teva 25 mg x2 before bed.
I get sectioned 8th of may after a doctors visit and diagnosed BP2: Hypomanic. Get out the 9th, increasingly chaotic i get sectioned again 12th of May - this time diagnosed BP1: Manic with psychotic features. They do all my bloodwork and test me for HIV - but no CT, MRI scans or EEG. I am reluctant to treatment as SSRI seem to be the root cause to all of this, but get involutary medicated with Haloperidol, Orfiril and Zyprexa / Olanzepine starting 19th of May - increasingly getting better before released from the hospital 23 of june. Use the rest of summer feeling like a living dead...
I have never experienced this type of mood swings before and never been hypomanic / manic / or had a psychosis or any other psychiatric illnesses. I have previously had 2 depressive / down episodes due to stress (school / jobs / and life events) but medicine wasnt required. Both these episodes lasted for a couple of months 2010 & 2015.
No family history of BP, but my grandfather was trubbled with major depressive disorder (mother side), my aunt experienced Postpartum depresjon (mother side) and another aunt with eating disorder (father side). My father experienced hypomania after having brain metastasis due to his cancer, but this stopped after a couple of weeks.
I have used antidepressants before in the form of «stop smoking pills» Champix (2012) and Zyban / Wellbutrin (2018) without anything happening other than feeling a bit restless whilst taking Zyban and nauseous while on Champix. And tried St.Johns wort during one of my depressed episodes, but no big effect so i stopped.
After being out from the hospital i continued taking zyprexa / olanzepine but tapered down from 20mg to until august in agreement with my then psychiatrist - but against hospital advice that wanted to keep me on 20mg Zyprexa / Olanzepine for 6 months. Medicine free i started to become increasingly depressed -
Moving towns to return to work 50% mid august, my new psyciatrist want to put me on Lithium, but says i must be willing to be on this for years as stopping and starting can trigger mood swings. At the same time he is not sure if i am BP1 or if I had a acute psychosis due to stress. So we have agreed on no lithium before I potentially have another manic / hypomanic episode.
End august i try Lamictal 25 mg (but itches like crazy and instantly become tired). Decide to go back on Lexapro 5 mg in combination with Zyprexa 2,5 / 5 mg. After a month I stop taking Zyprexa due to tiredness and continue Lexapro 5 mg - nothing has happened yet - other than it seem that Lexapro is lifting my depression to a liveable level. I am prepared to start Zyprexa immediatly if I feel my mood gets elevated. Still taking antihistamine for hives / urticaria.
Allthough antidepressants seem to work I feel quite affected by anhedonia, my brain feels dull and slow and I have an increased need for sleep. This worsens with Zyprexa...Following the psychiatric chain of thought that «depression is a ‘chemical imbalance’ that antidepressants can help reverse». I have suggested trying a NDRI, but my psychiatrist is reluctant to do this as I am now stable on Lexapro. But it seems to me in that case i lack more than just serotonin due to my anhedonia and lack of motivation (f.ex in work that has previously been my great passion).
Trying to deal with this I have started taking supplements in the form of multivitamin/minerals, thyrosine and taurin - as i understand these will increase neurotransmitters naturally. Have concidered, but decided against Tryptophan as I am on Lexapro and this alone should increase serotonin. After being on this for approx 2 weeks i have felt some increase in motivation.
Im trying to make sense of all this, listening to the psychiatrists - but at the same time having some critical thinking as i am reluctant to take medicine unless its nesessary. Especially since it seems to me that medicine was the root cause for this whole ordeal to begin with, in addition to prolonged stress. Or - maybe there is something else im missing trying to make sense of it all? Or am I trying to make sense out of something that doesnt make sense - i just have to wait and see?
Is it possible for me to have had BP all along? With 5 year cycle between episodes with my 2 depressive episodes (2010 / 2015) and mania (2020)? If that is the case I had no need for medication between episodes, and i am afraid to start on a lifelong medication regime with potentially quite severe side effects. Or...?
I have quite a lot of questions as I dont have any experience with BP and I dont know anyone with BP, hence the reason reaching out in this community. Everything I know i have read or gotten information from psychologists / psychiatrics. The latter having 4 different people with 4 different opinions on my diagnosis during the last year...
So - here it goes:

• What do you make of this experience?
• Is there anyone with similar experiences?
• Have anyone had the same reaction to SSRI after the same amount of time? (3 months)
• Anyone having same reaction to Lexapro, but not other antidepressants?
• Is SSRI induced mania always true BP1 and should always be medicated?
• Is it possible to have BP1 and have a stable life without the use of medications?
• Is it possible to have 5 years cycles with BP1?
• Anyone ever only experienced a single manic episode?
• How long does it take to recover from a manic episode?
• Anyone feel like they are cognitively impaired after an episode - how long does it take before this improves?
• Are there any supplements that are better than others if i want to try improve my depression naturally instead of using antidepressants / antipsychotics / mood stabilizers.
• What can I do other than medication to try to avoid another manic episode?
• What can I do other than medication to pull me out of a depressive episode?

Source
The AMA ended with:

Alright that's it for me, I can't believe I just spent 4 hours answering questions haha

but was followed by another question:

This is interesting my wife is going to have the first surgery probes in her head on Monday she never thought to ask if they put one hole in and spread the wires out or multiple holes

One big hole

Questions	Answers
Have you seen the Mindfield episode on Vsauce about fear? There was a girl that had a damaged amygdala. She claimed that she couldn't feel fear, and so scientists did a bunch of tests with her to map out fear responses. What they found was that nothing phased her, until they got to suffocation. They simulated it by increasing her blood's CO2 levels to safely simulate suffocation without actually preventing her from breathing, and she became absolutely terrified despite being perfectly safe. They found out that the fear response from an increased level of CO2 (suffocation) is centered in the brain stem while everything else is in the amygdala. The whole Mindfield series on Vsauce is fascinating and worth watching, but when I read your post I instantly thought of that episode.	Ooh I will watch that! Thanks!
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Suffocate yourself and let us know what you think. Edit: please stop asking me for free nudes guys	Instructions unclear, experienced autoerotic asphyxiation and got the best orgasm of my life.
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Forget what the instructions were, can you just write down how you did it?	Step 1 get epilepsy
	step 2 get brain surgery,
	step 3 do what strangers on the internet tell you to
	step 4 Profit!
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Guy had a chunk of brain gouged out and still has more sense of humor than most people i've meet...	Thanks! People would never guess that I have brain damage.
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can you share your thoughts after?	I have some insight! For context, my seizures were not your typical convulsions, it was all fear and dread. The bigger seizures gave me bigger fears, and one was that I am about to die. Not like "one day" or "I am going to get killed by __" I just had this sense that I was going to die. One of my first seizures confused me. I thought "I am going to die" and I was like "oh yeah whatever it's just a dream" and then realized it wasn't a dream. In a panic, and I started thinking "How could I be about to die? There's no external threat."
	So I was quickly rationalizing which external threat was going to kill me. Carbon monoxide? Stroke? Heart attack? So I went outside, did the FAST stroke test, checked for signs of heart attack... and I texted my girlfriend "call 911 if I don't text you in 5 minutes, I don't know something just feels really wrong, might be carbon monoxide or something."
	So the idea that the right amygdala has to work to identify the external threat, whereas those CO2 neurons just provide fear via the brain-stem/midbrain is especially interesting to me.
	Second:
	It was useful to see that my hypothalamus is what generates adrenaline, and I still have that. I imagine that is why I'm still getting adrenaline in some situations. I am curious about the people with amygdalae doing better at the CO2 breathing experiment. However, I think what's unexplained there is why I can still voluntarily hold my breath just fine. Like my brain stem isn't forcing me to surface when diving under water (I like to snorkel).
	Third:
	I think they've missed something: If we're gonna play with injecting CO2, they should play with directly stimulating the amygdala. Electric shocks to the amygdala showed s
	Third: I am not tough enough to say "I'll fucking kill you" if a guy held a knife to my throat.
	I was walking through a really bad area a few months ago and 3 "tough-guy" type dudes tried to surround meme to "ask me something" but I just kept walking (as I've learned to do growing up in NYC). However, I didn't think I could beat them all up or anything and I did check to see if they were following me, and I decided to avoid that block on the way back. Funny thing is that I didn't feel "fear" I just thought "Oh well, I guess they're going to grab me and empty my pockets and steal my phone. I hope they don't hit me very much. What should I do/say?"
Do you feel the absence of fear is more of a benefit or hindrance in reaching the highest and best version of yourself? Does it make you more vulnerable to being cheated or tricked? Do you have to spend more time thinking over whether to act or not?	That's a tough one because many things have changed beyond just fear. I want to lean towards it being better because my day-to-day life is more pleasant without the fear of my inevitable death clouding my thoughts. However, I also am aware "ignorance is bliss" and so many more. I would much rather be fearless than have too much fear, but I think having some fear is healthy.
	Since you mention cheating, I will share that I was married when I developed epilepsy. We were on a two-month trip through Europe. I broke my ankle, so I suggested my wife continue to the trip and she did. She asked my permission to see an ex (whom I had met a couple weeks before) and I happily granted it, and well... she slept with him. I stand by that choice of mine being the "right" one, but I certainly was plenty trusting back then as well.
	Still, I think I am more easily abused in relationships now, but that's not "fear" as much as it is "harm avoidance" (another function of the right amygdala). Since surgery I've (unfortunately) been happier in an abusive but exciting and passionate relationship than in a simple romantic relationship. Pre-epilepsy I used to be quite indignant about the slightest mistreatment, but my first partner whom I met only a month after brain surgery was quite intensely abusive, and I begged and crawled for her to love me while trying to make it work for 2 years.
	However, what complicates things is that I also don't have the level of confidence that I used to have. I don't really know all of the reasons why, but I am less confident in both myself and my opinion than I used to be; Albeit I may have been a bit too confident in my opinion before.
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I don't want to stick my nose in your love life but I think you did nothing wrong. I consider trust in a relationship essential: it makes you vulnerable but at the same time paves the way for a deeper and happier connection.	Yes I agree it was the right choice, I was just illustrating that I both was and am very trusting
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I wonder if your heightened tolerance for abuse has something to do with your heightened empathy. I’m horribly empathic and I think it made me easier to manipulate emotionally.	Yes 100% I do
Do you find that you have think about things much more; because you can't use those biological warning signals?	Wow that's a thought-provoking question! Thank you, I had never considered that until now. The answer is kind of "yes" but it's more to say that I should think about some things more because I don't feel the warning signals. For example, last month I was hiking in Utah and I started to go somewhere really dangerous out of curiosity but started to slip and had to think for a minute before I decided I should turn around, and I very carefully backed down.
	However, I also choose to leverage my freedom from the more primitive biological signals and carpe diem, like when I went on a two month road trip with someone I had just met. I've been that "say yes" type for the most part ever since.
	Unfortunately, at first I was more likely to have blind faith in people because I hadn't really figured this out yet. Someone told me I was getting a good deal, so I just assumed I was because I didn't feel any red flags. Little did I know he was trying to scam me out of $2,000. Luckily I learned my lesson without losing the money thanks to a friend. I have to think a lot more about why I trust who I'm trusting now, and it's still weird.
	I'll continue to search within myself and my experiences to ask myself your question, thank you!
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tbh it sounds like a lot of people nowadays should be getting your surgery lol	Yeah actually people have volunteered to have part of their amygdala removed due to anxiety issues, although that's hard to do or even illegal in most places.
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I wouldn't mind doing this. Amygdala hijack has ruined so much for me. Edit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdala_hijack	Are you sure that you're not having a focal seizure?
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If people approach you randomly (ie initiate contact) in public, be wary of them trying to fleece you or convince you to take a detour. X10 if in a city or touristy area. Act like a New Yorker and tell them to fuck off.	I mean, I am a NYer lol born and raised in lower manhattan
I work with someone who had his entire (I think) amygdala removed. He is a very smart guy, but his tolerance for BS is very low. Have you noticed a lower threshold for frustration? Also, have other things been affected, like forming memories? When you think about a time when you were afraid in the past, what's that like? Can you remember the feeling?	1. My speech inhibition is lower, but that frustration level is complicated by medication. People with epilepsy are often prescribed a medication called "keppra" which induces something we call "kepprage" which sounds like what you're describing. I was more easily frustrated before surgery, while on Keppra, but I am (and have always been) a VERY VERY patient person.
	2. Yes, memories have been a big problem. I confuse the "who" and "when" of memories VERY often, and it's been problematic in the romantic world. A girl I was dating definitely didn't like it when I recalled doing a kinky sex act with her, when it was actually with someone else who looked like her.
	3. Yes I can remember the feeling, in fact I can feel it when I remember it strongly enough. I never thought about it that way, but it's especially easy to remember fear because the seizures themselves were all feelings of fear (and I had hundreds of them).
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Hey OP, I was just diagnosed with a generalized epilepsy so I now take Keppra. Glad to know of someone else who takes it, and makes me feel better that I'm not the only one having troubles with aggression on it. I also take Vyvance for ADD and it somehow seems to counteract the aggression somewhat. Thanks for the AMA, hopefully life improves now that your surgeries are done! I wanted to ask about your life with epilepsy? How long have you had it and how did you see your seizures change as time went on leading up to your surgeries?	Hey! Keppra side effects get better over time if you work hard at it, it took me about 1.5 years to figure it out. Try to notice yourself getting angry, and imagine yourself before taking keppra getting angry about this, and if you would get angry even before, how angry would you get? That helped me control the kepprage. I'm off Keppra now, and I don't really know that I've changed much other than improved memory.
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Thanks for the advice! I tell my wife and son to leave me alone for two hours once I take the pill, since that's when I become most vulnerable haha.	Also join epilepsy !
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Unprompted advice, so take it or leave it. I have memory issues caused by a neuromuscular disease. Solidifying episodic memories is a challenge for me. I've found that journaling helps. Each night I write down anything of interest that happened that day. Sometimes it's one sentence, sometimes a whole page, doesn't matter. It seems to make a slight difference in how well memories will "stick". Just an internet stranger's two cents. Thanks for the AMA, interesting stuff!	Thanks! Your advice made me realize that I don't find it problematic enough, at least not enough that journaling would be worth it. It only causes an issue less than once a month, so journaling everything for a month to hope that I wouldn't cause a problem would be a bit of overkill for me.
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Without journaling, how can you be sure it isn't problematic more often? Serious question.	Because my memory isn't *that* bad, and I mean problematic in that I caused a negative experience for myself or another person, which I certainly do remember quite well.
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Is the difficulty of who and when different for memories from before the surgery and after surgery?	Yes, MUCH worse after the surgery. It's truly embarrassing and the most problematic result of the surgery.
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wait did the seizures cause fear BEACUSE they were in the amygdala?	Yes
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That's weird, I'm on Keppra and have never heard of "kepprage". I have zero side effects, as far as I can tell.	I said that myself for the first year, and coming off of it I don't feel different.
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The aggression is exactly why we declined Keppra for our toddler’s absence seizures. She is the sweetest little thing and any increase in rage/angeaggression would just feel like we had a different kid.	As mentioned I am a very patient person, so I would say that I was uniquely suited for taking Keppra. I wouldn't suggest it for a toddler though, as strong behavioral changes could affect your relationship with her. I recommend Vimpat and Lamictal.
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Can you elaborated on your “seizures themselves bring feelings of fear”? What does that mean?	The seizures were not convulsive like you might think, they were small seizures originating near my hippocampus and activated my right amygdala kind of like a frightening experience would. The entire seizure was JUST feelings, mostly the feeling of fear.
Have you observed a change in your overall personality as a result of this? Do you find your decision making process to be different than before? Are you leaning to be more risk acceptant in matters of finance, professionally, and in speaking your mind (less inhibited?)	1. That is the hardest question I've tried to answer since forever. Like, I've certainly changed over the past 2 years since surgery and 4 years since being diagnosed with epilepsy, but like... how much of that is just growth from all of the experiences I've had? I'm more careful now, less arrogant, more emotionally available, more considerate and empathetic, more talkative, less confident, and all sorts of changes. I can only clearly say that the talkativeness and the fearlessness is clearly surgery-related.
	2. Yes, I find myself considering my choices for longer and depending less on my "gut" feelings on something.
	3. I'm actually quite risk-averse financially and professionally because I am in debt due to being unable to work for an entire year after diagnosis (was an Uber driver and in my final semester of college when I was diagnosed). Since I am conscious of my health risk, I want to carefully plan my finances so I can do things I love (like travel). Otherwise, I speak my mind more often and I'm certainly less inhibited, but I still refrain from being mean. The lower speech inhibition expresses itself in that I interact with strangers more often, and I tell dumb irrelevant stories more often.
Have you picked up any new hobbies since surgery that you may have been to scared to try in the past?	No, probably because I was actually quite the risk-taker before with skydiving and bungie jumping. I also was an amateur pilot and flew open-cockpit experimental airplanes.
	Interestingly, another person asked if I still get adrenaline rushes, and that made me realize that I actually have been doing those things less often since the surgery. I wonder if it is because of the lower adrenaline rush...
	Unfortunately many of the dangerous hobbies aren't safe for me to play with because of my epilepsy. I was a passionate amateur pilot and novice scuba diver, and I have chosen to give them up for the foreseeable future because of the chance my epilepsy may come back. There's a video of a guy who was 6+ years seizure free having a seizure while skydiving. Everyone called him an idiot, well... I get why he tried.
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Are you still allowed to pilot, after your surgeries?	Kinda, it's a gray area because its a dont ask dont tell for the very small ultralight airplanes
Do you feel lighter? How did post op recovery go? How long were you in ICU? Is there physical or mental therapy you're doing? What sorts of adjustments have you had to make? Have you binge watched anything good lately?	1. Hah, no, but I do "click" sometimes when going down stairs because my upper right temporal muscle is tangled with the titanium braces on my skull.
	2. Physically, it went well. I walked out of the ICU in 2 or 3 days. However, I was very sensitive and disturbed by loud noises and big crowds for the first month. I was also very introverted, and had a hard time keeping up conversation for the first two weeks. I continued to be bothered by loud noises (my former seizure trigger) for a year. Beyond that, I developed ADD and I'm now on Ritalin. However, no therapy was necessary.
	3. Funny you ask the last two questions together because one big difference is that I no longer watch TV. I find it uncomfortably boring to watch TV now, even though flashing lights was NEVER a trigger. I can play video games and watch the occasional movie, but the idea of watching (and not interacting) sounds EXTREMELY boring and unpleasant to me now.
	4. The biggest adjustment I had to make was to give up my life's passion of piloting. That's because of epilepsy, not the surgery. Otherwise I just don't drink alcohol to play it safe. MY doctors say "limit to one or two drinks" but I am just abstaining entirely because I used to get a mini-seizure (aka simple-partial or focal-aware seizure) before I had even finished a bottle of light beer.
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You said in an earlier comment you became more talkative as a result of the surgery, and you said you also take Ritalin now. I know my add medication makes me more talkative, so I wonder if that is from the surgery or the medication?	I'm actually mildly less talkative on Ritalin. I was WAY more talkative right after surgery, and I didn't start Ritalin until 2 years after surgery, so I am quite aware of the change :) Thanks tho!
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How did being talkative work with being introverted and not being able to hold conversations?	The severe introversion only lasted about a month after surgery, then I started dating haha
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Don’t worry. Pretty much all pilots in the making from 2018-2020 have now given up on their dreams of finding a job before 2030. You could probably still do your PPL and fly, but you will never be the PIC/fly alone.	Haha thanks, luckily I gave up the dream of commercial flying about 2 years before my seizure but I was actually building a kit plane when I was diagnosed. I had sunk over $50,000 into building the kit and learning to fly, and I'm selling it for under $30,000 :(
	I actually could continue to fly experimental aircraft with a sport license, but the thought of having a seizure-like sensation mid-air keeps me grounded for the foreseeable future.
	So I'm selling my kit. If you know anyone who wants a partially built experimental light sport Excalibur for $14k, let me know haha
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haha the tv thing is probably just the add. I have it and I think tv is not interesting at all even though i have all of my brain :)	Thanks for adding that! I suspected the ADD. It was weird how I used to watch a lot of "Let's Play" type videos on Youtube and now I can't bear watching them at all.
So do you have any adrenaline rush anymore? Like when you ride a roller coaster or take a corner fast on racetrack type rush?	Hmm, I hadn't really thought of it in terms of adrenaline before. I think, generally for those kinds of stimuli, no; At least not nearly as much as I used to if at all. However for anticipation of exciting things like a great first date, yeah, and I get the same or more adrenaline in romantic situations.
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you should really try some adrenaline rush activities. Even just going down hill on a bike or skate board. Id love to hear you describe a roller coaster ride or abseiling.	Yeah I think I gotta do a crazy roller coaster. I haven't done one since the surgery.
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For what it’s worth, I recently watched Free Solo and I think you’d find it very interesting. It’s a documentary about a guy who loves climbing huge rock cliffs with no safety equipment. It’s a very dangerous sport. During the movie he gets his brain scanned by some interested scientists and they find his amygdala is incredibly small. So basically, the conclusion is he has a really really hard time feeling fear, but the flip side is that means he also has a really hard time feeling the rush of excitement and thrill that comes with fear. Therefore, for him to feel any thrills in life he must do something very extreme and dangerous while the rest of us can get those thrills doing much safer activities, or we can often even get those thrills just watching others do things like in tv shows or movies. It sounds like you are now very similar to him in the not feeling fear department.	Yeah I actually heard of that movie but I didn't know the last part about thirsting for more extreme experiences. I've noticed that some of my excitement for flying has gone away, and I wondered if the surgery was related or if I was just coping with the loss.
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What about phobias? Spiders, snakes, clowns, heights etc any changes to what u used to be afraid of?	I didn't have any phobias
I didn’t need any part of my brain removed to be talkative AND have a horrible sense of direction. But enough about me. If removing those parts of your brain made almost no difference, how?, how much brain needs to be removed to make a definitive personality difference? Also, how much of your brain was removed % wise?	10% of my brain removed and, well... to answer your "how" question, the rest of my brain is very high-functioning and able to compensate. If you've got a bad memory, you can write things down and get organized. If you have a bad sense of direction, you can diligently focus on recognizing landmarks. My doctors needed to do a neuropsych exam before considering surgery. The exam measures the ability of each individual lobe of your brain. They rated my left hemisphere in the top 1/1000th, my right temporal lobe function before and after to be top 40%, and overall IQ both before and after the brain surgery to be 135. After the exam, they told me that I won't be experiencing much functional problems in the long run because my other lobes will quickly compensate.
	In addition, over the years of having seizures my brain automatically started re-wiring the functionality away from the epileptic parts. Thus, even though my right temporal lobe SHOULD be doing all the face-recognizing, my left temporal lobe is helping now as well.
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That is extremely interesting. 90% of the brain and still going strong. How many seizures did you get on a daily basis and when did they start? You mentioned you were an Uber driver, so I am thinking sudden onset?	I usually had "simple-partial" "focal-aware" seizures that consisted purely of emotional sensations of fear and regret that each lasted <20 seconds. I had 3 of those a day. I had only one larger seizure, a "complex partial" where I lost about 20 minutes of memory and was mostly incoherent for that entire time. That's how I got diagnosed.
	I was 26 when that big seizure happened, so it was somewhat of a sudden onset. Although for 6 months prior to that seizure, I now know in hindsight that I was already having those mini-seizures and thinking they were just anxiety.
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Hey if you're still answering I'd love to know, with the rest of the brain compensating will a different part eventually function to induce a fear response or are you done with that for good?	I don't know, I've asked doctors but I think it's more likely that what's happening now will just got worse. That is, my negative left-amygdala response will "replace" fear. That is, I will just feel some other feelings more strongly in order to avoid dangerous situations.
Do you still have seizures? How long did the surgery take? Were you awake?	I've been seizure free ever since! I was under full anesthesia for both surgeries, but I was awake for 7 days in between them so they could record my seizures. I had probes deep in my brain with wires coming out of my skull, and I wasn't allowed to walk because if I fell I might rip the probes through my brain. It wasn't fun, but I did get prescribed beer on the 6th day because alcohol can (and did) trigger a seizure.
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Can you drink alcohol now?	Theoretically I can, but I abstain out of an abundance of caution. I'm aware that there is a small chance that drinking alcohol would cause a seizure, and the longer I am seizure-free the higher chance that it doesn't come back.
	That is, if I had a beer and had a seizure, my chance of having a second seizure without a beer goes up higher than if I had never had a beer.
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Is it any amount of alcohol? Like can you have one beer? Or can you drink kombucha?	My doctors say that I could have one or two beers but I choose to abstain because it's not worth the risk to me and I've had a seizure from less than one beer before
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Did it tend to happen as the effects of the beer were kicking in, or when the effects were wearing off (due to the minor "withdrawal" and subsequent neuronal overstimulation)?	As the effects kicked in, like halfway into a beer
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This is not a fear of yours at all?	No. To explain, would you bet your LIFE that Donald Trump won't resign before November 3rd? If you win, you get to drink a beer, if you lose, you die.
	Are you *afraid* of that decision? Regardless of the likelihood, you can make a conscious decision of weighing risk vs reward without fear.
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Have your doctors recommended an amount of time to wait? Does having a beer today vs a year from now impact your likeliness of it causing a seizure?	There is no science on that question, which is why I abstain.
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You were awake 7 days between surgeries? Did you mistype that, or am I just dumb & missing something? I didn't think it was possible to be awake for that long. Is there like a drug they give you for that or what?	Sorry, I realize that it wasn't clear that I did sleep quite a bit despite the fact that I had a couple dozen probes inside my brain and the wires came out through my skull.
So I study the amygdala in the context of pain. I’m interested to know if you notice any differences in how you experience pain?	Oooh since you study it I'll give great detail. At first I wouldn't say that my pain reaction has changed, but upon deeply picking my brain I can come up with these thoughts:
	1. At the apex of my epilepsy, I broke my fibula while walking through snow. It was a C-fracture, complete separation, but I didn't feel much pain, and I'm not some sort of tough-guy. I could almost walk but it hurt quite a lot to put full weight on it. The EMT thought it couldn't be broken because of how little pain I was reporting.
	2. I think I react to slight physical pain a bit slower. When I got bit by a spider a year and a half ago I kind of looked at it curiously to figure out what hurt, whereas before surgery I probably would have wiggled my hand a bit like one does if accidentally touching something that is too hot.
	3. I am prone to migraines, rarely, and they are still just as unpleasant and my reaction is unchanged.
	Ultimately, after remembering #2 above, I realize that I do react slower and less expressively to the few pains I've experienced, and I am somewhat better at ignoring pain.
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Oh interesting! Thanks so much for sharing! It seems the amygdala, and especially the right amygdala, is important for pain but also the ‘unpleasantness’ that goes along with pain. It’s so cool to hear experiences from real people about this.	I think that is in line with my experience with physical pain since surgery. However, FWIW, I still am indignant about not wanting other people to cause me pain or scolding them for doing so.
	Probably unrelated and TMI, but I do like a really hard (like as hard as a girl can) scratch on the head and back though. It doesn't hurt, even if I get a scrape, until it gets really raw and starts bleeding.
Fascinating, thanks. I'm super interested in changes to your political stance, in relation to a potential link between active amygdalae and conservatism. Have you found you're relating better to anyone as a result of the surgery?	Haha I see you've read the same articles on politics as I have! I went in a Sanders supporter who voted Hillary in 2016, came out a Sanders supporter who will vote Biden in 2020. My Anterior Cingulate Cortex is unchanged, and so I am still very focused on error-avoidance and thus very politically correct.
	However, you're 100% on the money with #2. I'm expressing and even experiencing my emotions FAR FAR FAR more than I was before. I have always been especially sensitive and somewhat feminine for a cis-hetero male, but now I'm way more empathetic than I was before. I used to be a very logic-focused person, and I still am, but now I value emotions and feel empathy for people like NEVER before.
	One last tidbit on politics: I grew up with liberal parents in NYC. In my high school years I was a bit of a classic white male liberal-libertarian of sorts, but always considered myself a democrat. However, education and exposure to diversity of thought brought me left far before brain surgery. I'm not in lock-step with every bit of the far-left agenda, but I am certainly firmly on the left in the USA.
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Amazing, thank you! I've noticed very gradual changes in myself, but I can't fathom waking up as a noticeably more empathetic person, that must have been an intense first day! And while I didn't mention politics to make value judgments, you sound like a great dude and I'm glad the surgery went well :)	Haha thanks! Hearing you use the term "Value judgments" I wonder if you know of nonviolent communication, authentic relating, or circling?
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Hey I'm asking the questions here! Nonviolent communication is the closest thing I have to a martial art, but authentic relating and circling aren't terms I've heard in this context. You have got me googling though, much appreciated. Any recommendations on sources?	haha nice, you should check out https://www.authrev.org/ AR is a practice, and the events invite people who seek deep interpersonal/emotional connection. I find that it's like Yoga for your EQ, and the self-selecting crowd is delightful and I imagine you'll fit in well.
	There are a bunch of free and cheap online Authetic Relating (AR) events being held right now, and once COVID's in the past I recommend going to an AR game-night. It's
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That’s so interesting! It makes sense that fear leans itself into responses to distrust and dislike things that we don’t know much about. I’m curious if your increased empathy is because you don’t get that immediate fear response that perhaps we were born with to protect ourselves. It’s so sad how much fear is used to fuel hateful ideologies.	Yes, greatly increased empathy Edit: I realize I misread your comment. Not sure can say my empathy feels clearly relates to fear, probably more related to lowered disgust feelings about people
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Comment deleted by user	Did I offend you? Should I have used different words so as not to bother you? Does saying cis-hetero male bother you more or less than saying trans-male or homosexual? If so, why?
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It’s not offensive at all. I just think the fact that you are a straight male isn’t even relevant. I suppose if you were trying to make a statement that things for you changed gender wise, that would be one thing. But should I say I’m cis-hetero female when describing myself? I think it’s over board. And, well, science. You are born male or female. It just doesn’t seem necessary for everyone to to put labels on EVERYTHING.	Im glad you weren't offended. I think it's up to you to include what you feel is relevant, but when describing myself as feminine I figured my gender and orientation was useful. Perhaps TMI though, not sure.
	I included cis because there are more people born intersex (neither male nor female) than there are redheads. Usually their genitalia are surgically "corrected" though, to fit the binary gender norm. I imagine a person born XXY or with androgen insensitivity syndrome might not be comfortable with the idea that "everyone" is born male or female and might prefer to identify with their born gender. Would that be wrong?
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And I did not mean to offend you by all means. I am a very progressive female nurse. I misread the part about describing yourself as feminine so I apologize. Not TMI at all. I guess I wish we didn’t have to describe things in such detail... I wish we we could all be excepting of everyone with no explanation. I had no idea of those stats. It is interesting to me because I know many more redheads than intersex individuals but perhaps because it’s not discussed openly... wouldn’t it be nice to just accept people for who they are with no discussion and labeling! The Romans had it right (in some ways, haha)	I agree with you. In fact, I was born XY male but I was given a very feminine name. I had something like gender dysphoria in my early teens because I was bullied for being "gay" even though I wasn't, and everyone would ask me "are you a boy or a girl?" because of how gentle and soft-spoken I was. I was just too feminine to be a man, apparently.
	I still get assigned "female" today because of my first name, until they hear my baritone voice or see me. Therefore I feel empathy for people who don't identify their gender-behavior with their genitals. I agree believe that your genitals should not determine how you can dress and how you can behave.
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Comment removed by moderator	ICEBURN!!!1111one
Are you any good at video games? I think streaming yourself playing horror games would attract quite the audience, and it goes well with your new found talkativeness.	Haha interesting, never thought of that. I gotta pick up Dark Descent again.
Have you been in any dangerous situations that you likely would have avoided pre-surgery? This was one of the main concerns regarding this surgery mentioned to my class by a prof in undergrad.	Not really, but only because I was a risk-taking person before. I was scared of my inevitable death but I still went skydiving and went on some crazy adventures. I definitely found myself doing stupid things when hiking, like going off-trail a little too far and ending up somewhere dangerous. I was briefly less avoidant of bad neighborhoods, although I almost got mugged once so I am back to being smart.
	I have tested my fear here and there, like looking over the edge of cliffs or putting my hand close to a fire, but I honestly can't think of something dangerous that I want to do. Fear just isn't in the equation.
Is this is your superhero origin story?	Maybe! And if the villain shoots me above my right eye and it goes through my head, it won't hit any of my brain, so I'll live, and that's how I'm invincible.
Since part of your right temporal lobe was removed, do you “fear” that you may one day be unable to recognize friends or family without other cues?	It actually has gone and will continue to go the other way! It's called "neuroplasticity" and the left temporal lobe will actually start helping or taking over the job of recognizing faces!
	The facial-recognition issue was always mild. At worst I needed about 1 second longer to recognize a face than is normal, and it was unsettling, but it's gotten better over time. I still a bit longer to differentiate similar-looking people whom I don't know, but it's not problematic in my life.
	The bigger problem has been remembering who I did something with. Like "did I tell you this already?" or "did you do ___ with me?" has come out of my mouth far too many times.
Have you noticed a decrease in intelligence or problem solving ability?	My IQ was measured by a neuropsychological exam before and after, and my IQ was actually unchanged! The only issue is memory and focus, which has been compensated for with note-writing and ritalin.
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That actually makes a lot of sense, especially with you mentioning a previous comments that you're a lot more talkative, and your filter is down. These are all side effects of stimulants, and a lot of your behavior changes I myself have had, but without the whole getting 10% of your brain removed I recommend switching to vyanse instead of Ritalin / Adderall. With Ritalin, you 100% know that you are on a stimulant, everything just feels different. If your body was a car, You would feel the acceleration, engine rev up, and bumps in the road. With vyanse, it's a lot more subtle. Like driving an electric car where you don't actively feel like you are "revving up", just notice the positive side effects	Thanks, but I became more talkative almost immediately after surgery, Started ritalin 2 years in and it helps with the talkativeness
Why don't you still feel fear to some extent, since your left amygdala is still intact?	The left amygdala handles negative stimuli differently, and it's clear that I'm using it to process these stimuli because I'm having a typical thoughtful response where I appreciate the context and make a decision instead of having a reptilian "DO NOT WANT" fear response.
how much are your medical bills?	I chose an insurance plan with a high deductible but low out-of-pocket maximum and thus I pay about $3,000 a year total. I usually hit out-of-pocket maximum by April. The biggest cost was the year of unemployment following my diagnosis as I was an Uber driver to support myself through college. I got my degree though, and my job gave me 6 months of paid disability leave for my brain surgery.
Did you still feel like you are "you" shortly after your surgery? I always find the persistence of the self in the face of change to be fascinating.	Well I did about 2100 words of writing on that (follow part 0 through 5) https://www.evernote.com/pub/iagospeare/breakthrough Short answer, "there is no spoon"

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/children-bipolar-disorder_b_1213028
If anyone has time to read the article, I appreciate it.
To preface, I am not anti-mental health treatment in all circumstances. There are times when people are truly disconnected from reality in unhealthy ways; I have an OCD diagnosis that I think fits me quite well. What I am against is the way that the mental health system is currently construed, and the lack of social conscience about the abuses endemic to the system.
I have had outbursts and panic attacks from a young age due to my OCD symptoms. Long story short, I was a very difficult child who dealt with ostracization, mockery, and severe adherence to obsessions and compulsions. None of my therapists or doctors were interested in OCD as a diagnosis, because I did not have the stereotypical symptoms. I was hospitalized twice for suicidal ideation. The first time (at age 12) I was diagnosed with major depression. The second time (at age 13) I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, with exactly the same criteria that Dr. Allen Frances condemns in his article. I was not having days of no sleep, hyperproductivity, and elated moods followed by days of depressed moods. I was an all around anxious, irritable, unruly child. But I did not fit criteria for bipolar disorder. (As most "bipolar children" did not.)
Neither my family or I really knew anything about bipolar while I was diagnosed with it. I was almost immediately put on risperidone, lithium, and lamictal and not allowed to come off of it. I cried and cried, felt violated beyond belief, but of course these symptoms were attributed to my diagnosis. Not to the violent and coercive treatment I was being forced into. The doctor I had was a sweet old grandmother type, who always seemed like she had my best interests in mind, but remarkably and glibly added diagnosis upon diagnosis to my mental health files, sometimes taking 15-20 minutes of intake before making another diagnosis, and tried to put me on 5-6 different medications. At age thirteen-eighteen.
After she retired, I began to look into the diagnosis more thoroughly. I realized just how serious the disorder actually is, and how unsafe the medications I was on could be. Because my doctor didn't really tell us anything in the four years that I had her, neither me nor my family knew that the episodes were expected to recur. We believed that I would be essentially normal for the rest of my life if I was "in treatment." The doctor never lifted a finger to communicate the diagnosis or treatment to us effectively. At age eighteen, I was prepared to head into college and start afresh (I struggled socially and occupationally all through school). I was suddenly plunged into intense fear of myself, and serious uncertainty, which has stayed with me four years later. I saw a new psychiatrist and weaned off the medication over the course of college. I had my diagnosis changed to OCD and severe anxiety. I stayed up all night a few nights, crying and having panic attacks because I believed that I was going insane. I regularly had anxiety attacks at night, for fear of "going manic." I withdrew from others, believing myself to be a dangerous freak. My parents yelled at me. They didn't understand how I could have such anxiety. They thought that I "wasn't a victim" and that I was "being dramatic." I didn't know how to articulate to them that after receiving this diagnosis, I could never again go back to seeing myself as a normal girl.
What is even more baffling is the fact that the DSM committee rejected the criteria I was diagnosed under multiple times, but my parents and I were told by every pediatric doctor we spoke to when I was thirteen that bipolar children do not have classic episodes. We were told this like it was gospel, medical orthodoxy, when it was just the opposite. It was a speculative theory that had been rejected by the supposed authoritative manual for psychiatry. But pediatric psychiatrists either did not know or did not care, and enthusiastically assured us that I did indeed have bipolar disorder. (I am unaware of which type of bipolar I was supposed to have; we were never even informed that there were multiple types.)
With my OCD therapist, I am very, very slowly recovering. And yet I feel a need to find closure with what happened to me. I experienced such severe trauma in this system, and yet I am told to uncritically find a new doctor and trust what they say. I can't do this anymore; I know how subjective the system is, yet how coercive it is to its patients.
Child psychiatrists Barbara Geller, Joan Luby, and Joseph Biederman are some of the researchers that aggressively marketed their new pediatric BD concept to psychiatrists. In spite of receiving criticism, Luby and Biedermann are still active in their positions at Harvard University and the University of Washington St. Louis, respectively. Barbara Geller passed away this year, and her obituary stated that she "helped thousands of children" by "educating" professionals about pediatric bipolar disorder. Nowhere in university publications by or about these individuals is the fact that their take on bipolar disorder is highly contested. These publications make it seem as though the doctors' opinions are facts.
https://source.wustl.edu/2005/12/researchers-identify-bipolar-disorder-in-preschoolers/
(Here, Joan Luby claims that she has identified bipolar disorder in preschoolers. Yes, really. Other times, she and others have claimed that six year olds who want to be president even though their kindergarten grades are poor must have grandiose delusions. The pathologization of childhood that these researchers push onto children is an absolute human rights violation.)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Rebecca_Riley#Aftermath
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/what-killed-rebecca-riley/
The diagnosis and medication of children can also be fatal. As shown above.
One of the things that is keeping me from healing from my trauma is the fact that barely anyone acknowledges the trauma to begin with. I didn't just have a bit of bad luck with doctors, as my family insists. I was one of the many victims of a hypercapitalist, self-centered, and deadly psychiatric system. One that mobilizes doctors to diagnose erroneously and prescribe unnecessary medication. One that routinely violates patients', especially child patients', basic rights to bodily autonomy.
What I need is for people to recognize that this human rights crisis is happening right under our noses. I want doctors who have contributed to this problem to be held accountable for their actions. I want and need others to recognize that the reason I have constant anxiety and depression is that I was a victim of severe physical and emotional abuse in the form of negligent psychiatric treatment. The system served to make me believe that I needed a doctor's approval to be me. To do anything. And that is the same abusive system which I am redirected to when I try to discuss anxiety and depression.
Is there any avenue for speaking out against this? Is there any way to find closure after what I went through? I need to find a community and resources that will help me heal from the unspeakable trauma that I have experienced in the past and continue to experience today.

TL;DR — If you are on Nexplanon, please consider the side effects!
I learned about BPD through Reddit of all places when a bunch of armchair psychologists threw out the term to describe a woman depicted in a meme. Out of sheer curiosity, I read about it on Wikipedia and was horrified when I realized most of the symptoms described what it was like for me to live every day.
I was officially diagnosed in 2016, started a mood stabilizer (lamictal), and got into intensive DBT for 6 months. It was during this time that I worked through a lot of childhood trauma and PTSD from early adulthood. I got better and better and eventually felt I was in remission. This carried on for nearly 4 years.
Birth control has many effects on women regardless of their mental health. Once I was on the mood stabilizer, I realized that I felt different when on or off of certain birth controls. This is because estrogenic birth controls actually inhibit the body’s ability to break down lamictal, and in turn, it becomes less effective. The most pronounced of these was ortho tri cyclen lo. When I stopped taking it, I noticed a huge improvement in my mood. Suddenly I was much more confident, could focus better, and felt more talkative. As someone who has had my fair share of adventures, I knew that being in a hormonal contraceptive was a necessity. I elected to go on the Nuvaring, which dampened some of the confidence/boldness I gained from coming off of ortho tricyclen lo. Still, I was happy, and if I was consistently exercising, I was doing pretty well.
I got off of birth control entirely for a while due to dating a woman and then dating someone who was waiting for marriage. When both of those relationships ended, I decided to go with Nexplanon, since it is a progesterone-based birth control and shouldn’t affect lamictal the way estrogen does.
Within the first few days of it being implanted into my arm, I felt enraged. I remember consciously saying to myself that I felt like my BPD had returned. Still, I was stubborn and wanted to stay on some form of birth control as I was in a relationship with a man.
Weird, BPD symptoms started popping up again. Uncontrollable anger, splitting, and feelings of emptiness. It cost me one of my relationships and it wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago when I realized I was about to lose another partner yet again.
It had gotten much worse. I began having dissociative episodes while arguing with my current partner nearly every day. Some of the arguments were justified. Others weren’t. Part of me wonders if the side effects became more severe after I lost weight. After getting Nexplanon my weight shot up to 145 lbs. I rapidly lost 15 lbs over the span of a month and a half or so, meaning that the dosage of hormone I was now receiving was most likely higher than it had been previously.
My current partner pointed out to me that his sister and ex had struggled with Nexplanon due to mood issues. I took a hard look in the mirror and realized that I was exhibiting symptoms of BPD again. I was ashamed of myself.
I will say that removing it has made a huge difference in my basal stress levels. I no longer feel like everyone is SO FUCKING ANNOYING/stupid/wrong all the time. I feel relaxed for the first time in a long time.
My point for writing all of this is to warn other women who are looking into this birth control. I’ve never been on anything that has made me so angry before. It was terrifying and my relationship is still mending because of it (and also for other reasons related to not disclosing my BPD). I’m back in DBT and looking forward to getting back on track.

"Lamictal is known to block sodium channels but it is not known whether it is extracellular or intracellular.
Calcium has been shown to block sodium channels" - wikipedia
Milk does not only make your bones grow big and strong but it also makes the HPPD go away for good. Since Lamictal is designed secretly by big pharma to alleviate but persist HPPD and other mental illnesses as all psychiatric medications are. Make sure you get unpasteurized local milk so that is natural and untouched by big farma who make it so that your symptoms persist. I've been drinking a glass of milk every hour every day for a week now and I no longer have any HPPD symptoms. I can smoke weed and do acid without any consequences.
I even recommend to invest in your own cows. Just make sure to buy them from local farms that farm organically so that big farma didn't genetically alter them to produce pasteurized milk straight out the utter. That pasturized shit will set you back to square one. Also don't buy feed, grow it. The cow feed you can buy is laced with chemicals that once matabolized by the cow becomes Nbome. You'll notice how cows who are fed this feed are all usually facing the same direction. Big farma covered this up but I know all about it.
What's the purpose of all this milk conspiracy? To persist HPPD in psychedelic users. Since psychedelics are of course the path to ultimate enlightenment and the new dawn of humankind. If everyone was doing LSD every weekend and drank natural milk during the week as god intended the corrupt governments and industries that empower many people through wealth would collapse due to a collective effort to overthrow them to establish a utopian society never seen before. A society unlike any other where instead of a military first policy we have an LSD first milk second policy.
Children will be given LSD so that they can be enlightened from an early age. Then they will suck the milk from the teat of the cow. This is how the Mayans did it. They built a calendar that looks way cooler than ours they were totally trippin.
Don't ask me for any "proof" I provided enough by quoting wikipedia. That science jargen is just the government trying to put in place a new vocabulary that limits our capacity to spread ideas from person to person by having incredibly long words that take a long time to say making basic statements take much longer to say delaying potential rebellion.

When you suddenly get VSS, it is important to quickly understand that some people improve over time, as this is not clear when you start searching the Internet for success stories. It is highly probable that it is related to the actual cause whether you improve or not. Obviously if you don’t do any medical examinations and never try anything you probably have a lower probability of recovering. The idea of this post is to give you some hope in the fact that some people have effectively recovered and that it can be worth it to try out some things. Perhaps you will be so lucky as well.
To be honest, it must also be noted that some people do worsen over time. That is a concern to be taken into account. This has been described as well in some feedback from researchers, but their clinical impression is that it is only the case for a minority. This impression could be wrong and they could be underestimating for how many people it is progressive. Worsening can be gradual (continuously) or in stepping stones (every x years). If you suspect something specific may be the cause of your VSS, it is wise to take action asap.
Current feedback from people with VSS seems to unfortunately show that many (seemingly the majority of people) do not improve or worsen once they develop this condition. It stays the same more or less. The researchers of the Visual Snow Init. (VSI) have confirmed that it is their clinical impression as well, although habituation may occur creating the impression that your condition has improved.
1/ Clinical trials or reports: This section contains some references to clinical trials or reports of medication used to treat VSS.
Lamotrigine (Lamictal) is an anticonvulsant which has been prescribed off-label for VSS patients. The majority of patients has no improvement, but some people report a partial improvement of symptoms during treatment. Two patients had a full resolution of symptoms (during treatment if I read it correctly), but this seems highly exceptional.
Some people have reported it slows down the visual snow. It’s not clear how it affects the other symptoms of VSS. It is not recommended for long term use as the list of side effects is huge and some are very adverse (e.g. Stevens-Johnson Syndrome). Please consult and thoroughly discuss with your doctor before considering going this route. I would be inclined to advise against it if you asked my opinion, as the improvement is normally not that significant, is only temporary in almost all cases and the potential adverse effects are a major concern. Up to you to make up your mind. Consult research papers first.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamotrigine
“Lamotrigine—the most frequently prescribed drug—led to partial remission of symptoms in 5 of 26 patients (19.2%). No patients reported complete remission. Half of lamotrigine-treated patients experienced adverse events.” https://www.aao.org/editors-choice/lamotrigine-can-lead-to-remission-of-visual-snow-s
“He received lamotrigine dose escalation to 75 mg BID with complete resolution of symptoms.” https://n.neurology.org/content/90/15_Supplement/P4.129
“After lamotrigine treatment, the patient had no more complaints of visual snow, was able to sleep, and the frequency of migraine decreased to 2 attacks/month.” https://headachejournal.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/head.12628
Amitriptyline is a Tricyclic Antidepressant (TCA) used to treat various conditions: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amitriptyline
“patient presented in this case report was treated successfully with amitriptyline, based on a hypothesis that visual snow syndrome is a form of pituitary fatigue and peripheral neuropathy” https://clinmedjournals.org/articles/cmrcclinical-medical-reviews-and-case-reports-cmrcr-5-246.php?jid=cmrcr
There are other medications that have been tested for VSS, which had no effect at all. According to clinical trials, even benzodiazepines had no benefit in actually reducing VSS symptoms, even though some people have anecdotally claimed to have temporary resolution of symptoms. The clinical trials however consist of very few participants.
2/ Anecdotal stories: This section is a collection of feedback of some people with VSS who claim to have improved entirely or (mostly) partially after time or due to a specific action. Some stories are reasonably convincing as the author seems genuine and provides a detailed overview of symptoms, onset, evolution, actions taken, percentage of improvement and so on. Other stories seem entirely unsubstantiated claims with no details whatsoever about their condition or what exactly they mean with improvement. They’re just vague claims. That’s all.
Only a handful of people bother to do follow-up posts to confirm improvement. It provides a lot more credibility to the claims made in the initial post. Some people were honest though and provided updates to explain things were not better after all. These stories are not included, but demonstrate the placebo effect. It’s possible that some stories in below were placebo as well, but the author never bothered to update his story.
Stories about acceptance, habituation, feewing better, being able to ignore it, no longer being affected by it, having a different perspective to VSS are obviously not included as they are not genuine objective improvements.
Finally, anecdotal stories about HPPD are not included as well (afaik). Some people with HPPD improve after abstinence off drugs. HPPD is a specific subtype of VSS. There would be too many references here as recovery is not that uncommon for HPPD. Please consult HPPD for success stories.
List: Aila Erin (u/ailapls): cause unknown, possibly migraine or medication related, 90% improved, claims exercise and supplements may have helped in her recovery: https://overtoaila.com/2020/01/30/visual-snow-syndrome-my-journey-and-cure/ She also posted about it on Reddit: My VS Journey and Cure
Dr. Amir: improving TMJ dysfunction and craniodental symmetry (also mentions suboccipital release) in the main discussed patient testimonial. More testimonials and comments are at the bottom. Dr Amir also discusses ‘asymmetric Atlas vertebra’ which can compromise blood flow: http://www.positivehealth.com/article/anatomy-and-physiology/treatment-approaches-for-visual-snow Also discussed here: Theory about VS
u/zdonat: cause was Bartonella infection, complete resolution after treatment with antibiotics: My VS Is Now Completely Gone
aaronphalen (tapatalk): cause is late stage Lyme disease, seemingly largely recovered after extensive treatment: Chronic Lyme Disease and Treatment
chirohelp (tapatalk): neck problems, almost completely recovered after extensive treatment by chiropractor: We Found A Treament For Our Son
u/smikky91: suspected cause is neck related, 70%-90% improved after osteopathy: How Many Cases Are Cured?
u/GhostZ: claims cause is cannabis or SSRI, but symptoms reduced 90% after yoga exercises, particularly neck related stretches (so would make more sense it’s neck related): I popped my neck and shoulders (yoga)
kelpiemsp (tinnitustalk): claim made by u/threefirefour, cause unknown, claims thalamus treatment device (in clinical trial) by University of Minnesota permanently resolved visual snow and tinnitus: Thalamus Device in Trial Cured VSS Note: this user never answered my questions on tinnitustalk to confirm the claim made in above post. Also discussed here: Will Curing Hearing Loss Cure VSS?
armymedicman1 (youtube): claims cause to be neck related in some and neck stretches can help to resolve or improve it: Almost Cured His VS These are his Youtube videos: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YtnDfPBtQ54 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kc_ICPRk5MU https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Zy50fclIVSo
u/anon128162312: cause unknown, claims full resolution after 6 years, possibly due to healthy lifestyle: There Is Hope
u/awesomeness0104: cause unknown, claims water fasting reduces symptoms: Water Fasting
u/Valcreee: cause unknown, complete temporary resolution of symptoms, claims chiropractor and healthy lifestyle may have helped, symptoms returned however: Does It Disappear? Also discussed here: Forward Head Posture
u/Crypto_Ling: temporary partial remission after 1st week of ketamine treatment, but result could not be repeated in 2nd week: Ketamine IV Infusions
u/grexeo, cause unknown, reduction after years, claims due to healthy lifestyle: Did Anyone Manage To Cure VS?
u/gnoppa: claims temporary resolution for a few days due to diet and microbial treatment (suspects dysbiosis as cause): Gut Dysbiosis
ODD (tapatalk): neck stretches improved symptoms: Getting Much Better
Tom321 (tapatalk): suspected cause is multiple concussions, claims symptoms improved 90% after piracetam: Cure That Worked For Me
u/staple2staple: cause unknown, claims neck exercises (osteopath) improve his VS (refers to Dr Amir site as well): Surprise Improvement
u/ehddhvdhsk: claims improvement of symptoms after steroid injection into trapezius muscle, however symptoms worsened again later: Steroid Injection
u/dlc2889: suspects neck injury or bad posture could be the cause, claims improvement after neck therapy (also refers to Dr Amir’s website): Update on Neck Therapy Update 3rd Treatment Neck Therapy
u/ArgusLVI: claims 60% improvement due to time and sobriety (not clear if HPPD): List for Reducing Severe Symptoms
u/jmatty_ice: claims CBD oil improved his symptoms 85%, no follow-up statement, also claims symptoms fluctuate, so might be a bogus claim: Improvement After CBD Oil
u/LordLionBlaze: cause unknown, claims improvement after chiro, healthy lifestyle, ...: How I Managed To Reduce My Visual Snow
u/Chloe519: claims improvement after following an autoimmune diet for 10 days, no follow-up statement: VS Almost Gone After Auto-Immune Diet
u/JackDeezy47: suspected cause anxiety, claims improvement after therapy: Improvement of VS
u/wrzosvicious: suspected cause hypothyroidism, symptoms improved after medication synthroid: Hypothyroidism
u/lexWolfer: claims neck massage improved symptoms: Neck Massage
u/P0TeNTszn: improvement after two years: My VS Got Better
u/Several_Reaction: list of things to try to reduce symptoms (no actual improvement reported): List for Reducing Severe Symptoms
u/Bassonatic42: list of medication that reduced symptoms temporarily for him: List of what works personally for VS
3/ Residual Inhibition In below is a video which provides very short relief for some people. Residual inhibition is not actual improvement. The same can be done for tinnitus.
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/thosewithvisualsnow/pin-this-post-how-i-cured-my-palinopsia-visual-sno-t8544.html
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=800f9UNiF4Y
Also posted on Reddit: Cure for Palinopsia
4/ Final note If you happen to know Reddit posts, tapatalk posts, YouTube comments, facebook comments where people describe actual improvement, please let me know in the comments. I don’t have FB, so this is a blind spot for me. Maybe you can copy paste some stories in below comments.
This list could be used as a collection of “success stories” that can be shown to everyone who is new to VSS and starts a difficult journey looking all over the Internet for people who actually got better and what they did to improve.
Can we work together to keep this list as up-to-date as possible?
Thanks.
Full List of Visual Snow Syndrome Symptoms [Personal Research]
Full List of Potential Triggers or Causes of Visual Snow Syndrome [Personal Research]

Since I was a child I've occasionally had feelings like a wave of electricity/energy/warmth that will spread from the back of my head to the front, or sometimes from the sides inwards. It is accompanied by feelings of mild dissociation. It is 1 to 2 seconds a wave. Sometimes it is only one wave. Sometimes it is few. Sometimes a wave feels like it is "stuck" or doesn't propegate properly, and I can urge it on by focusing on it or tilting my head a certain way. Other things that occur randomly are losing balance and losing grip on things that I think I have securely. I haven't observed this happening specifically in relation to an "energy wave"
Over 10 years ago I rotated through Lamictal, Tegretol, Trileptal, and I think Valproic acid for depression, and I don't recall them having an effect on the "energy wave". (I've not been on any of them in 10+ years). Celexa had induced mania, so doc decided I must have bipolar disorder, and I was resistant to taking lithium. Eventually I tried lithium as well, without much success. Next doctor had me on Paxil, which helped mildly. I digress.
Recently, I've been on gabapentin. This seems to reduce the occurance of the "energy wave" feeling, and also temporarily boosts my executive functioning.
I was reading the gabapentin Wikipedia entry and it mentions being used for partial/focal seizures (which I didn't know were a thing), and it really got me wondering: Are my "energy waves" really partial seizures? Does that sound possible, given what I am experiencing? (Not looking for official medical diagnosis).
Thank you.

Hello all. Sorry for this long post. Frustrated.
I once had a friend who swore by nootropics and I never gave it much thought. But now I'm 30, and am finding my brain isn't what it was at 20. Maybe he was onto something.
Anyway. I have ADD and bipolar II. I moved from the USA to the UK 2 years ago.
For ~5 years, I had been taking amphetamine-dextroamphetamine ~15mg twice daily (my script was for 30mg BID but I tried to take it easy). This is illegal in the UK, so I've tried going without it since the move. I'm literally useless, I can't think straight for long enough to complete tasks, lethargic, SO UNMOTIVATED. I'm fucking dying.
I'd kill to get that amphetamine kick again, but I know it's not realistic. I have tried Ritalin and Vyvanse and they just didn't do me right.
For bipolar II, I take lamotrigine (Lamictal) 150mg daily. It has been 1000% more effective for my mood than SSRIs or Welbutrin. What concerns me is that Lamictal's mechanism of action seems to be inline with what the nootropics mess with, like glutamate, GABA, acetylcholine, etc (not a pharmacist so this may not even be relevant).
It's very frustrating to get timely appointments with the NHS for mental health, especially bc of Corona, so I want to take this into my own hands.
I'm going to order Modafinil and give it a try. It does not seem to interact with the lamotrigine which is excellent. I need the energy.
But I want to, er, repair my brain, because something is clearly wrong. My dopamine is probably fucked from the years of Adderall (even though I've been off for 2 years). I read this article (thank you redditor) and decided against doing a commercial stack like MindLab.
I keep seeing things for all the B vitamins helping with cognition, memory, etc. The caffeine+ L Theanine keeps popping up to, but I'm seeing mixed reports on its effectiveness.

1. Does StackAdvice have any guidance on what should be my main ingredient focus in a nootropic stack, aiming for better dopamine regulation, motivation, energy, concentration...
2. and, if anyone's familiar with Lamictal or other anti-convulsants, additional advice on what to stay away from?
3. and, any input on 5-HTP and Noopept in particular? (friend swore by those specifically)

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edit: Part of me expected to be torn apart due to my potentially stupid questions but you have all been so helpful in your responses so far. Thank you so much for all your knowledges.

I was just reading an AskReddit thread about strange experiences, and sleep issues came up multiple times from various commenters. It sent me down an internet rabbit hole, and I've been reading a few articles on Wikipedia about Hypnagogia, False Awakenings, and Night Terrors.
I've had low grade night terrors since I was a kid, but I feel like they've become more common, along with false awakening nightmares, since I went on Lamictal 15 years ago. I take 400mg per day. I've noticed that the false awakenings get much worse if I accidentally skip a few days of my meds.
I was curious if anyone else on Lamictal has experienced this? I've had insomnia issues since I went on the Lamital, and have debated going in for a sleep study later this year incase the underlying issue isn't Lamictal and there's a possible treatment.
I'd be curious to hear from anyone who's experienced similar issues, and how you've dealt with the issue.

Last Weeks Analysis
Posted by u/EarthwormOverworld

Aesop Analysis Week 2: Hold The Cup

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This week's Nominator: EarthwormOverworld
Song Name: Hold The Cup
Song link(s):https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlC310OhmMY
Featuring Artist(s): Contains a sample from "The Joyful Toy of 1001 Faces" by Themselves
Length: 4:58
Recorded:
Release: 1999
Album(s): Appleseed 1999
Label(s): Self Released
Format: CD
Producer(s): Blockhead, Aesop Rock
Extra:
Live Performances:
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I'm posting this a little later than I wanted but I set a low goal and I arrive late. Let me preface my thoughts on this track with a little background, I've been manic depressive in and out of therapy shrunk since early elementary school. Suicidal, deeply miserable, struggled socially, mentally, and just had a shit go of it for a lotta years. I've been on zoloft, xanax, lexapro, abilify, and probably a few more that Aesop has mentioned in his songs. Plus I'm currently on lamictal and klonopin which Aes has mentioned a lot more, lamictal recently in Defender. So I definitely relate a lot to Aesop's self deprecating depressed loner content and this track is loaded with it. One of the segments in this track is one of the most honest and simple descriptions of what it's really like to be depressed and so I thought I'd try to take a look at this bloated track and try to make some sense of it. I know I overlooked this track when I was younger, the beat is very slow and kinda lurching. It shares some similarities to No Splash but No Splash is a bit more upbeat and easier to enjoy. But like all of Aesop's songs there is so much under the surface to study.
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And the saints come marching in, this track is riddled with symbolism and a deep inner reflection on Aes' part. He's also really trying to make is mark in the art here by proving through hard quick intense lyric that he is a force to be reckoned with while also painting himself in this honest grimy light that we've come to know much more through Syrup and TIK and now Malibu Ken. The first lines are "Serpentine regime ordered by response sort of fell this population, caboose humming no fence me in a van with common patrons, the parody plastered every red brick in site, where had to keep his plights from ticking, I'm slipping my key in whim, dim by dirty tap water and that, roach on my ceiling circling fins round a bed of pushpins." That's already a ton to unpack and two different sides of the rapper in just a few lines. He calls out snakes in the population, rap industry, saying they've ruined the art with common kneejerk response techniques instead of crafting poetry over beats. Then says well my caboose is humming and don't you dare place me on the shelf with anyone else. He's a step above average and now its just up to him to prove it. I'm slipping my key in whim, he has the key to new life in rap, whimsy, joy, merriment, but then he downshifts to what he also knows he is. Dirty tapwater and roaches, sleeping on a bed of pushpins. The next one line is an amazing view of his rap style. "Lets connect the thrill of volume to a flat earth." Rap was so flat and simple back then and still is for a lot of musicians, compared to the way Aesop hones his rhymes he has depth, a whole ocean of knowledge to share with us, if we would only just hold the cup while he pours.
And that's the simpler message of the song and the title, I will pour myself out on this verses and give you insight and secrets to unlock and study as long as you are willing to listen. And that's just the first 8 lines of the song. As someone whos antisocial I really like the line "I'm sorry, we've never met, my name is driftwood Thanks friend, good lookin and I'll never see you again." That's really how I wish all my social interactions could play out and people would just let me float away. Conveniently his next album was Float. He gets really intricate and fast in these next lines but basically he says I'm a starving bottomfeeder in an empty ocean full of hooks of anglers that are anti-knowledge and conscious rap. Hence they are fishing for him from planks of burning books. Which is I'm sure how Aesop felt at the time, he had a lot of offers from labels and execs because they wanted his talent but were probably trying to get him to tone down his content and make it simpler for people but he said fuck that and built his own empire and we're all much better off for it. Merchant Goliath, trying to sell us evil and war. But he refutes the industry giant by saying "Oh please, I know butterfly wings ain't fit to auction." He has a delicate art that isn't for the highest bidder. More for everyone who's willing to accept it. On this concept of Aesop avoiding labels the title comes into play. In NYC there are tons of beggars holding out cups for change, he could be putting this on the execs like, just let me do my thing I'm gonna spit knowledge all you have to do is hold the cup and take the free money. Since Aes has had a lot of labels and trouble sticking to one this really hits home.
One more grimy self reflection before we hit my favorite lines, he says "I am the trying diaries of a low life siphon through that feign anti-dilligence movement, here the hunger habitat working class trash raped where racist hit their high." Just raw wit and intense symbolism with fast paced presentation. Really carving out a name for himself. It's a glory to listen to when you realize this was just the beginning.
Now for one of the best insights on depression that really set this song apart for me. "I spy a toddler on the corner with her bubbles and her dipstick, I witness the fusion of breath and her amusement, AND IT KILLED ME AND IT STABBED ME AND IT CUT ME CLEAR OPEN, the notion that this child timid in her sins embraced pleasure within a token of a moment, restless arrested but not a twerp strip the vulnerable disclosure, so close yet so much closer. I'll take the hint but still she's never known cold call me in twenty when those bubbles explode it's like that."
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I got chills just writing it because this is how I've felt all my life. I watched people enjoying things but it just crushed me that I couldn't enjoy anything the same way. I saw the world for its sins and darkness and am so held back by my own mental processes that when good things happen or people give me advice all I can do is take it for what it is but internally I'm still held back waiting for shit to go tits up. I really don't understand how people can enjoy the little things in life and it kills me.
Now Aes really goes hard in the second verse definitely trying to prove a point that he's worth listening to and studying. It's amazing he can flow all these long verbose lyrics together. "But your quest tore your floorboards and the carpet turned to marbles, naw the carpet turned to charcoals amidst skeletons of warlords, snake charmer, hate farmer, gave you the rations with an eyedropper of poison passions hoist above the masses." That is a gawdy dozen rhymes in just a few lines. Basically throwing out complex one liners every line like its easy. A few more that really stand out to me are
"I'm sleepy, one wing more and I promise to pay homage to those who stand truly deserving and the list ain't long. Sink or Swim, Gravel or Ascension, even birds of iron combine float if you let them." and again reflecting on the way the rap industry works and how he works is this grittily delivered line
"On my left hand is a brick layer my right hand is a plow face, we build and destroy in response to every sound the crowd makes." If the crowd likes what he makes he will make it but if they don't react he'll destroy it and build it again.
The intense symbolism and quick vocabulary are really hard to digest in one sitting and I'm going to leave the rest of the track for comment and others to try to decipher. But I think he was really just trying to prove that he could say the most complex unique and nearly incomprehensible lyrics with a slow groaning almost annoying beat and he could still make a masterpiece. So how many leaves does your clover have? A great way to end. Kinda like asking alright so what do you have to offer. What is unique about what you create? "So how many leaves your clover got? Mine's got eight, three for normalcy one for luck four more so you'll spot it from space." Picking clovers is a very childish simple activity, you go roam around looking for something special, a four leaf clover. And Aesop just shared with us the rarest of them all if you'd only just hold the cup while he pours.
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I've been on Lamictal for about two years. I've never had any side effects. My dosage was raised to 300 mg/day 6 months ago and there have been no problems since then, except for the past 3 weeks. Whenever I lay down to relax or fall asleep I have these "jolting" body jerks. Sometimes it's my neck/head and other times it's my abdomen and legs, or arms. It almost feels like a localized, brief split-second long seizure-I don't know how else to describe it. It's almost as unnerving as Exploding Head Syndrome.
The only different medication I've been taking is Naltrexone, (to reduce alcohol cravings) and that has coincidentally been for the same time period as when these symptoms started- Not sure if that's relevant... I guess I'm just asking if any of you guys have experienced anything like this with Lamictal?