I’d love to hear ideas for a Psionic focused expansion.
Here are the ones living rent free in my brain:
More Espionage. First and foremost, I fully expect that a Psionic focus will add and expand to espionage systems in place. From the Second Foundation to the Bene Geserit, from Anya Forger to Alfred Baxter, Psionics involves espionage, surveillance, and mind manipulation. And I for one would like to: * Influence politics in another empire * Steal Leaders * Sow mistrust amongst federations and vassals * Ferment rebellions * Remove corporate holds and replace them with your own.
Advanced Authorities a given since we got them in machine age, with the cybernetic’s individualistic vs collectivistic axis and physical vs virtual of synthetic. For Psionic, the authorities could instead go along an enlightening vs concealing axis. The enlightened governments are focused on output, stability, and/or leaders. While the concealing is focused on infiltration, manipulation, cloaked ships, faction affinity and/or the council.
Ascending to a higher plane, One thing that took me by surprise was the synthetic ascension giving bio pops the virtual trait if they picked a “virtual” authority. It would be neat if the “enlightened” option gave us unique traits to modify the Psionic pops.
Psionic Hives I think this is a constant community request, and just as we can assimilate into the hive with cybernetics, we should be able to assimilate through psionics, but I would like to see a very different gameplay for the concealing psi hive, one based on everyone’s favorite hated corporation: crime syndicates. Let me explain how the “crime” hive works:

• You can open holdings on planets, like a megacorp. Just like the crime syndicates, you don’t need trade deals.
• Some buildings will give resources, straight up like the megacorp, but the fun comes with the other holdings.
• Some holdings can ferment crime and lower stability.
• Other holdings slowly siphon pops, transferring pop growth to you.
• With Gene Tailoring technology, the psi-hive can take xeno compatiblity, allowing them to breed hybrids in their holdings, which build up armies that will join you in an invasion.

Origins We have already a psionic ascension origin in teachers of the shroud, but I can think of two new origins for the game:

• The Psi-tronic Brain: Requires Materialist or Machine empire, locks all ascensions except Psionic. Wether it’s a shroud planet in the system, or some artifact, this empire is wracked and assaulted by strange signals. Only a strong mind, or subroutine, can withstand the tide. Or, a Zro colony foresaw their doom, and left a path to their resurrection, by having machines that can store their souls. Regardless, by studying the strange substance, Zro, can the empire master the secret of psionic machines. It’d be cool if this origin got a unique covenant, one inspired by Vashtorr the Arkifane. Actually, there is a shroud being who already fits this concept, maybe take a good look at the S875.1 Warform? The blessing of the Animator of Clay has allowed the warform to survive in the most hostile conditions, and adapt to its corrosive environment
• The Brain-Slugs: Brain slugs, brain slime, neuro parasites, etc. this is the espionage origin. Start with unique governments (slug assembly, slug council, slugorship, the royal slug, corporate slugs, and slug hive). You can choose symbiosis, allowing for non slugs to join as full citizens, or maintain the slug-dom. They don’t need to be slugs, see: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PuppeteerParasite . The main premise is that, unlike a necrophage, these parasites/symbionts don’t need to kill elevate their hosts, instead they are full on infiltrationists, essentially they have unique espionage missions that allow them to steal pops, gain colony ships, and can covertly infiltrate primitives at any point of their tech tree.

Reject the Covenants: It would be cool if we could pick an option where we decide to safeguard against the Shroud, rejecting covenants and gaining the ability to establish a unique enclave of monks/knights.
Guild Navigator Civic: This Civic is child of Privatized Exploration and Augmentation Bazaars. A Megacorp, whose space exploration has been limited by the presence of a Psionic caste of pilots. It: * Can’t be egalitarian. Can’t be Materialistic or a Machine. Also can’t be removed, and limits all ascensions except Psionic. * species starts with a unique trait, navigator gene, that has a chance of giving leaders the latent Psionic trait. Always rolls at least one Admiral of the species to have a unique Navigator trait that boosts jump cooldown. * replaces a leader slot with a powerful guildmaster, which can only be filled by a navigator gene, latent Psionic, or Psionic pop. * Gain access to a limited psi-jump drive, similar to the subspace drive. * While unlocking Zro might make sense, one simple idea that would convey the navigators is to give a -75% reduction in naval capacity from all other or traditional sources, and a unique trade policy that converts trade value into naval capacity. * The Councilor position lowers the distance cost of opening corporate holdings.

Shared Kit 

Brittle Form Kit: 

Forged Form Kit: 

Thanks to Patron Member u/Entharo_entho - Here is the wiped out Tweet retrieved
Context - Wiped out from Internet
In March, I got a chance to work with filmmaker Sanjay Leela Bhansali right after he made Gangubai Kathiawadi, and Alia Bhatt, playing the titular character in the film, retweeted me.
The headline (in my head) was going to be, ‘The Boy From Kamathipura Goes To Bhansali Mandi.’
Then reality struck in April.
One of my closest friends Sweta called me from the Shivapuri National Park near Kathmandu and put me on speaker. Two other friends Mona and Ayush were listening to the WhatsApp call.
‘How’s it going with Bhansu?’ Sweta asked.
‘We are not working together anymore,’ I said.
‘Whaaaaaaaat?’ the three people shrieked, creating a wavy disturbance in audio frequency.
‘Whyyyyy?’ they cried, collectively anguished.
‘He said he is not feeling the vibes.’
‘What?’
‘Vibes,’ I said aloud, causing a seismic tremor in the audio frequency.
‘What vibes?’ Sweta jibed, ‘Maybe he can’t feel the vibrator.’
Laughter upped the vibes.
First, a little context on how I got that far. Check this, this, this & this.
So my tweets were going viral in February-March.
In the second week of March, a woman DM’d me saying she loves the tweets. I said thank you. She said she works at Bhansali Productions.
Whoopsie Daisy!
I asked if I could be a part of the production. She checked with SLB and team. He said he wants to meet now.
NOW!
How?
I was in Calcutta.
I called an actor friend in Bombay and told him about it.
“They will book your tickets and put you up in 5-star,” he said, “Like Hollywood.”
“This is Bhansaliwood,” I said, “Yahan dhanda hamesha manda hai.”
I flew (on my own expense) and met him.
I was ‘prepared’ by his team for the meeting with His High and Mightiness.
I was told:

Arre, then what do I say?
I sashayed in a brown kurta and white linen trousers. Please see Madhuri Dixit-Nene’s brown ghagra for aesthetic reference I used from my very limited wardrobe of the only kurta I had at the time. By the way, the chorus sings ‘Jhanak Jhanak Payal Baaje,’ aesthetically referencing you know what, right?
He was lunching with his minions (strictly calling them minions from his pov) when I arrived in his pristine white dining hall in a building called Magnum Opus. Where else should he reside, no? Both his house, and his office (where I was ‘prepared’ earlier) were tastefully done in creamy white.
It was, as I said to my friend later, like walking into a cumulus cloud, or like sitting on his favourite singer Lata Mangeshkar’s lap. Calm, serene and quite surreal. I was inside his snow globe. Violins from a Bach concerto (in my head) were replaced with say Madan Mohan’s doleful rendition of ‘Mai ri main ka se kahoon peedh apne jiya ki.’ (Side effect of writing this on Mother’s Day.)
I look for books when I enter a house for signs of intelligent life. There were lots of lamps and candelabras but where were the stacks of books they were perched on? The aesthetic was high on film set disposable kitsch. I stared into a cumulative void.
The minions were intensely debating Darjeeling momos. What’s that? I spent my childhood there. Never heard of this GI tag!
SLB relished his meal and said, “I want puranpoli today.”
Puranpoli appeared not out of thin air, but a house-help flipping wishes instantly on a griddle on the fifth floor. We were on the first floor. Although the puranpoli is shaped like a flying saucer, it doesn’t fly, perhaps burdened by the weight of excess ghee and crowd-pleasing expectation. It does, however, reach SLB’s plate at the speed of light.
‘Give him some,’ he asked a minion to serve me while I waited on the sofa.
‘I’ve had lunch, thank you,’ I said, trying to behave. The plate arrived. I took a mousy bite to exhibit my failing attempt to transform into a champion minion.
When he came to chat, he noticed the unfinished food and gently reminded me how there were days he went hungry. I should have rolled my eyes for my own lean days.
‘One should not waste food,’ he said.
‘I don’t,’ I said, ‘I was going to parcel it home in a doggy bag.’
Hearing the word doggy, his well-behaved dog came over to inspect me.
He observed me. I petted her perfunctorily. Am a cat person. Stereotypical writer stuff — allergic to undesired petting and attention.
‘So, what have you done?’ he asked, sitting on a sort of empire-style bergere chair. Full marks for faux-ornate.
‘A novel, some writing for a series,’ I said nervously, dismissively.
‘Anything I might have seen?’ he asked.
‘No, not worthwhile.’
‘Are you interested in direction also?’
‘No, am not delusional.’
A moment passed. I might have displayed an errant repartee.
‘I mean, I can only write, or am trying to,’ I said. L’esprit de l’escalier.
He gave me a spiel on writing, how screenplay is an art not many understand, etc, et cetera.
I nodded to make his voice disappear.
‘What are you writing now?’
I showed him the cover of my new book, The Last Courtesan, featuring my mother, on my phone.
‘Oh, this is so fascinating,’ he said.
He spoke rapturously about Calcutta’s great food and colonial architecture when I mentioned growing up in Bowbazar kothas. If you watch any of his interviews now on YouTube you will realise he only speaks in raptures. He’s always explaining things like an impassioned conductor at a dime-store opera. It can exhaust the boorish audience immediately. He spoke about living in the Kamathipura area as a child when I said I had lived there. The mythmaker was interested in exoticising his own legend as an ‘outsider’.
‘But how will you work here if your mother is in Calcutta?’ he said, ‘I am a maa-ka-bhakt.’
Everything is about him or his mother. I have reached that stage too, though only by circumstances unavoidable.
‘Actually it was my mother who asked me to come here. I told her it would only work out if you understand that I will have to vacillate between the two cities initially. Jaise Sanjay ki Leela hai, waise meri Rekha.’
Corny dialogue, but worked. No one calls him by his first name, except perhaps his own mother. He is sir for everyone.
‘If I am speaking to you for so long means I like you,’ he said. ‘Otherwise, I would have asked you to leave long ago.’
Barely five minutes into the conversation, he asked me to return to his office and inform his team that I was going to be a part of his writer’s room.
I went back to his office and read a script. This is the part I cannot mention. His legal team sits in the adjacent room.
I flew to Calcutta and was to return after a week. I had to make arrangements for my mother’s tri-weekly dialysis sessions at a nearby hospital, figure out a tiffin-delivery service for her, find a house help (she sent four nurses scurrying in the past), all of which is a bit of a task in this retrograde city.
Remember the woman who had DM’d me about my tweets? She messaged. She had met SLB after my meeting. He said this about me: ‘What a wonderful find. That boy has so much potential and is talented. Most importantly, he is sensitive.’
I told her I’d get this engraved on my tombstone.
Like how he wants to take Alia Bhatt’s golchakkar in Dholida to his grave.
“It’s a shot that I will take to my grave. If there’s any shot that I want to be played when I breathe my last, it would be Alia doing that shot. It is the best thing I have seen an actor do in a very long, long time.”
I was only emulating the high priest of hyperbole in my tombstone comment. Perhaps I was regressing into a minion.
I had only managed a few tasks for mother when I was back in Bombay. It worried me that the old, frail woman with shaky limbs and slurred speech was trying to be brave to send me to work. I hadn’t worked since the pandemic; she was in and out of hospitals so frequently that I had surrendered the thought of getting another job ever again. Taking care of her was my full-time job.
The first day in his office was to chill in my new, aesthetically pleasing kurta I had shopped for in Gariahat. There was a security camera in every corner that was apparently accessible on his phone. My skin tingled with this information. Chilled. He was at home. Probably watching. That’s a great way to create a myth.
The next day, there were more minions on the lunch table in his first floor apartment. The magically appearing steamy and fragrant sheera was delicious. A minion deemed it the best sheera in the city. I nodded to make that statement evaporate.
A courier boy interrupted for a document signature. SLB flared at a spelling mistake in the document papers.
‘Go wash your face and come back,’ he yelled at the young man.
The minions at the table laughed nervously. I so wished I was wearing a mask to cover my surprise emoji face.
The minions on the table were writers and assistant directors.
‘Dastavez,’ SLB said, ‘would that be correct to use?’
‘Kaaghzaat,’ the minion replied.
‘Kaaghzaat is paper, dastavez is document,’ said the second minion.
‘You always mislead me,’ SLB sternly reprimanded the first minion. ‘Don’t ever do that again.’
Only that minion tried to laugh, offering an apology. He shut the minion down.
My mask, my mask emoji face.
A third minion was sulking in a corner before I arrived for the writing session. This minion had reportedly offered a script suggestion, which he disliked and barked down. I liked this minion the most. Relatable.
A faint noise of a person running or perhaps just a rumbling sound from somewhere outside interrupted the room. He looked up at the ceiling and said, ‘No one lives there. Am certain it is a ghost. I hear running sounds all the time. I have heard sounds of furniture being dragged.’
I wondered if he actually believed in half the things he uttered, or was he just saying it to create enigma about himself. Mythical thoughts certainly kept him preoccupied.
Reality bored him. SLB had nothing good to say about the ‘current plague’ of South Indian films upsetting the Bollywood cartel. He compared them to a circus. He wasn’t kind to the actors he had worked with in his last film. He cracked lame jokes about everyone and everything. The minions laughed and kept him busy. I chuckled a few times to blend in. The mythmaker revelled in his prophesies about the impending doom of charlatans with no aesthetics: just crass, commercial peddlers pimping art. It was all said to amuse and bemuse while he fussed over the yellow shade of fabric from several swatches.
When he left for his music session, the minions bitched him out, and how! All the horror stories I had heard over the years about his moods, behaviour, language and violent temper were true. How else will he create myth about himself as a maestro? The Glomar response. Let the plebs indulge in hearsay. I will neither confirm nor deny. The minions sang effigy songs in happy tunes, if I may stretch this part a bit like his penchant for high camp.
That night, when I went to my actor friend’s house, where I was temporarily staying, I said to him, ‘I don’t think I will last a week there.’
I was rattled by how he spoke to the courier boy and the minions, with no filter. Well, at least it was clear he had no tact, endearing as that might be of a ‘genius’ if one compromises with his erratic behaviour. The CEO of his company does it beautifully and advises to develop a ‘thick hide’ around him. Cows, essentially.
Verve
The words genius, great, master, maverick, were so loosely bandied by his office staff even in his absence that I was tempted to add auteur, if they could spell or pronounce it. They worked in perpetual fear of him turning up at any hour and checking on their tidiness. A minion whined she wasn’t dressed appropriately for his surprise visit. Once, he even cut pay for unscheduled leave, said another minion. A minion narrated a shot he copied from a photographer in Gangubai Kathiawadi. Another minion recounted how he made her cry on shoot by screaming at her for a silly mistake. Minions couldn’t leave the office till his evenings were scheduled. It was a well-paying job so long as they did not have to see ‘chacha’s’ face and only applaud his cinematic sorcery.
His office team would assign me desk-work and warn me not to inform him about it.
‘What am I supposed to say if he asks?’
‘Make up something,’ I was told.
‘Why should I?’
‘You will slowly understand,’ I was told.
His team of assistants would sneak around me. I didn’t know who was reporting what back to him. He would interrogate the management team. They would lash out at me for informing the assistants. The management wanted to control me a certain way because ‘sir’ does not need to know everything. It was quite a guessing game. He had created an ecosystem of complete chaos and loved the hubbub. New people were hired for him to use the ‘new energy’ to rekindle the ‘old energy’ that needed to be reminded it could be snuffed out and replaced. He thrived on confusion because it all boiled down to him to sort out the mess. He was the provider so long as the minions ingratiated and served their grand master.
One time he called me upstairs, what his CEO called the god’s chamber aka the Shahenshah’s durbar: his office on the seventh floor. Walls were lined with giant posters of his films. We minions sat on the fifth floor. I was of course by now a week old in the toady mill. On the seventh floor, production team members, set designer, director assistant, young people sat on the floor, armed with notebooks and laptops, alert and sugar-tongued. He sat on a throne and dictated each one about their duty. A masseur massaged his leg. He asked me what I thought of a script. I said it was lovely. He asked me to elaborate. I said I liked a character’s resolve. He denied it was written. I said that’s my interpretation. A minion promptly backed me.
‘What changes do you suggest?’ he asked.
‘We should sit on it collectively and decide,’ I said.
He mumbled something. My suggestion was dismissed. I was dismissed. I bowed out. A minion whispered to me, ‘We all walk on eggshells around him.’ I had to be a chicken in a coop I suppose.
Another time he dismissed my suggestion for a scene saying, ‘That’s not how art is made.’ I had referenced a scene from Bandit Queen to illustrate my point. Just like his entire oeuvre is homage to a classic. How else does he make his art?
Allow me to illustrate with a frame from his first film Khamoshi: The Musical. The second image is from Pakeezah.
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam references Red Beard, Woh 7 Din.
Devdas references Pakeezah more than once.
Black references The Miracle Worker.
Saawariya references Pyaasa, Awaara.
Guzaarish references Whose Life Is It Anyway?
Goliyon Ki Raasleela: Ram-Leela references Franco Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet, West Side Story.
Bajirao Mastani references Mughal-E-Azam.
Padmaavat references Mirch Masala.
Gangubai Kathiawadi, let’s give him the benefit of doubt is all his own, original artistry.
The American filmmaker Jim Jarmusch once meta quoted the French filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard when he said:
“Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery — celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from — it’s where you take them to.”
SLB believes he takes art and betters it, removing the grubby coat of slime from the sublime, often not concerned with acknowledging the source. He is a master’s master, elevating it to an otherworldly experience, the creator of a mythoverse.
He asked me to rewrite a scene I didn’t agree with. He banged the script folders on the table like a petulant, little child. I watched his posture change into a frump. Tiger Shroff’s ‘Bacchi ho kya,’ dialogue comes to mind.
‘You are talking like those critics who find fault but don’t know how to write. They should write the film,’ he said.
That argument will never make sense to me but since I write movies now and not just about them, I rewrote the scene in half an hour and showed it to him. He found it rubbish.
I was not called to the writer’s room for a week.
His CEO said I should go to his house; hang around him, like the other assistants whose only purpose in life is to feed his ego. We are slaves to his vision, she said. She thought I was a better writer than the team he had assembled. ‘From whatever I read, only three lines of your work on social media, I could sense it,’ she said.
Either she was encouraging, or bluffing with a perfectly Zen face. From the hundreds of Ganesh idols stacked in her room, it was clear she wasn’t a reader. She was good at reading numbers, data, and stats. She would sense a sign if one of the metal idols sucked milk from a spoon on the day she enquired about box –office figures.
There was more than one right-wing hardliner in his office. Secular staff was invisible. A pretty minion in baby pink t-shirt, whose main grouse was that another minion called him a Barbie doll, said he was happy with the Modi government building roads in his home state Bihar. Another minion countered him by asking: What about the persecution of minorities by the same government? The pretty minion said he didn’t care for that. He was assisting ‘sir’ because he wanted to be an actor. Which lead me to wonder how many Muslim actors has this production worked with? Silly of me to think, right? Given that I myself don’t use my Muslim surname. I’ve now successfully planted a myth in your head. That’s how it works.
In the time that I was in Versova during my brief stint at Bhansali Productions, I met several people with their own SLB horror story. A producer said, ‘He is a difficult man but life changes for good after you work with him. Some people want to go through hell first. Life bann jaati hai.’ I didn’t understand why purgatory was necessary. Another former assistant said, ‘When you work with the worst (SLB) and the best (KJO), you are ready for the rest.’
A young woman gave him a thesis she wrote on his films. He asked her to write a book on her. She said she wanted to assist as a director. She never heard from him. A filmmaker said SLB was too friendly with another assistant, suggesting intimacy. A writer wasn’t given credit in a film.
Another writer was promised his script will be turned into a film but it never took off and now he feels his life has been ruined. A young filmmaker’s debut movie SLB produced was delayed, not promoted, and called ‘kachra’ to his face.
The young man said SLB is sexist, homophobe, classist, fat shamer, emotional abuser, and a body shamer. “He is a joyless pit of darkness where happiness goes to die. And those are the nicest words I can think of to describe him,” he said. Another filmmaker said a choreographer was in a relationship with SLB and wanted to marry him but he wouldn’t even touch her, a hotly discussed conversation amongst his minions.
Everything sounds hokum. A successful man is likely to upset a few. The few will talk. Their words may ring true through a gossamer veil of implausibility. Myths magnifying his persona.
There are too many myths about his personal life, aroused by his silence on the subject but all too obvious in his work. When people want to confirm with me, I am equally appalled at their lack of aesthetics. Like the great reader of curtains, Edgar Allan Poe, you only have to look at SLB’s use of billowy curtains in films to guess.

Above stanza, courtesy Poe, poem: The Raven.
Hope you get the drift, or draft, hawa ka jhonka! By the way, am digressing now, is the weirdly named character Sameer Rosselline in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam the first mainstream Hindi film hero to pass wind? The ruffled curtains are first to be cautioned though.
Unlike most people willing to swallow their pride to work with SLB, few like the eponymous Gangubai character choose izzat. The house-help employed in my actor friend’s house was asked to work as a cook in his house. When she heard the whimsy, dessert-craving demands, she declined the offer. I identify with her no-nonsense style.
In November 2021, a filmmaker read a film script I wrote and said, ‘This is SLB territory. Only he can make it. It is the modern love-story he has been wanting to make for a long time.’
‘Are you sure?’ I asked, somewhat flattered but also bewildered.
‘Yes, we just have to change the setting from Calcutta-Bombay to Calcutta-New York. It is what he has been trying to crack. I’ll get him to read it.’
I never spoke to SLB about my script. I did not want to look like a schemer. I had only got a chance because of my mother’s story. I had come to write courtesan songs. Hindi films are recognised by their songs. His films have show tunes that live on long after the sequins and mirrors reflect a decadent style. He employs the old-fashioned method of making Hindi films, which is to stitch scenes around a song, not the other way round. And when you glean your references from the best of classical melodies, how can you falter?
My own SLB story is that after watching Saawariya in 2007, I wrote a few songs, moved to Bombay, lived in Versova, close to Magnum Opus, and hoped to meet him, but made no effort even though I came in close contact with people who worked directly with him. I never requested for a meeting. Over the years, I too had heard a few horror stories about him. I only believe in what I see. I waited when he would call for me, my work would have to speak for itself.
A day before Good Friday, his CEO sat me down and said it’s not working out.
There’s a mythical story of how Lata Mangeshkar was on her way to record a song for SLB but the heavens poured and she had to turn her car back. A typical SLB frame of hope and hopelessness.
Never work with your idols. You’ll have a better story to imagine and create myths.
I was so relieved to leave. I hadn’t got a moment to read, or write, let alone think since I got here. Why I wanted to work with SLB was to not believe in hearsay. I will either confirm or deny.
‘Great,’ I said, ‘everyone deserves an off on Good Friday.’
The office was unsure about public holidays. SLB’s mood dictated the calendar.
Before returning to Calcutta, I met a friend entrenched in the film business.
When she heard of the fiasco, she said, ‘I’ve heard he is very anal, is he?’
The vibrator jokes never stop.

Goal: Create a heartfelt animated music video Song: TheFatRat - Still Here With You Tone: Happy, Sad, Sweet, Touching, Moving, Inspiring, Beautiful, Spiritual Style: 2D cute cartoon/anime Length: About two and a half minutes to fit the song (more is fine, adding a short intro/outro to fit the story is welcome) Deadline: 2 Months (flexible) Budget: $3,000 (flexible)
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Sorry if the deadline/budget seems unreasonable. I am very flexible on both and am more than willing to work with someone on a fair price.
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I would like to have a music video created for my fiancée, Emily, starring her and one of our cats, Fawkes, who we helped cross the rainbow bridge in February 2023. We always get the feeling he's still here with us, watching over us, spreading his love and joy. I want to imagine what that would look like if it were indeed true. On a spiritual level, they were/are truly soulmates, and I want to create something really special for her to remember him by. These last few years have been really tough for her, and we have been abandoned/betrayed by some friends and family mainly due to drama around our caring for Fawkes.
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I am looking for someone passionate who truly wants to help me make this a reality. I will do everything in my power to get whatever you need to make this work. This is probably way too much info, but I'm trying to get my thoughts out if it can help the creative process for anyone. If you're interested, please send me a message.
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Factoids:

• Me: 33M
• Emily: 34F
• Emily and Fawkes slept on the couch together during his sickness (he would always lay on her, face to face)
• Emily likes to paint as a hobby (shapes, flowers, birds, owls)
• Emily likes to play PC games (Overwatch, World of Warcraft)
• Emily is usually up at night while I'm asleep
• Emily has been free of work since before he got sick
• I work during the day, Emily is at home alone (she does not drive)
• We still randomly find his fur on our clothes that have been washed multiple times since he passed. It makes us smile and think of it as a gift from him.
• Fawkes and Freyja didn't get along unsupervised, so we kept them separated when we slept or had to go somewhere
• Freyja sometimes acts like Fawkes did (belly rubs and lots of snuggles). We feel as though it's Fawkes visiting us through her.

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Thoughts, ideas, notes:

• Possibly starting from when we are at/leaving the vet when we said goodbye
• Fawkes depicted as an angel/spirit cat
• Centered around Fawkes and Emily
• Emily doing day-to-day things like watching TV, painting, playing games, chores
• Emily looking at pictures and feeling sad
• Emily feeling hopeless and alone
• Freyja and I can be part of making her feel better sometimes
• I go to work and she's all alone
• Fawkes finding ways to cheer up/help Emily, somehow interacting with things around her
• I want it to express feelings of sadness at points but also happiness and joy
• Locations closely based on actual places we went/live (I can provide pictures of where we live or addresses of locations for Google Maps for satellite views)
• Ending: I would like to show Fawkes with her family dog (who passed away in September 2021) and her grandmother (who passed away in January 2024), all happy together and watching over Emily

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backstory below
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Beginning:
Fawkes came into our lives in July 2017 from the streets after his previous owners were taken away from him a few weeks prior. We immediately brought him to the vet to get checked and tested for anything. The vet found that he was chipped and five years old. As a result, they couldn't really do much besides try to contact the previous owners. We took him home and kept him separated from our other cat, Freyja, since we did not know if he could spread anything to her. He was pretty lethargic, hardly eating, and couldn't really keep much down. We honestly thought we would wake up the next morning and he wouldn't be with us anymore. Luckily, that was not the case.
​
He wasn't doing so well the next day, so we called the vet and they had us come in again. Since the previous day, he went from over seven pounds down to about six and a half pounds. Our vet decided it was necessary to medically intervene or he was likely going to die. They hospitalized him on the spot and started giving him subcutaneous (SQ) fluids and other medications to help with his nausea and stimulate his appetite. We left him under the care of the vet and all we could do was wait to hear back. He pulled through like a champ. He was eating, moving, jumping, playing, snuggling, and loving life. It was as if he was reborn, like a phoenix from the ashes, so we named him "Fawkes" after the phoenix from Harry Potter.
​
Over the following years, Fawkes and Emily became pretty much inseparable. He was such a lovebug and radiated that classic "orange cat energy" wherever he went. If he wanted to get into something, he'd either find a way or keep trying until we could stop him. He absolutely LOVED belly rubs, and not once was it ever a trap (unless you felt "trapped" rubbing his belly for hours). In all the time we had him, he never hissed at, scratched, or bit (non-playfully) anyone. He just wanted to love everything and everyone he met. He didn't have any enemies in his eyes, just others who may not have cared for the level of love and joy he wanted to share.
​
Later:
Fawkes was diagnosed with stage 1 chronic kidney disease (CKD) in October 2021, which quickly progressed to stage 3 by early 2022. We were giving him medicine a few times a day, SQ fluids every couple of days, and going to the vet every other week to have his levels checked. He became a regular at the vet and even a few employees confessed to taking breaks just to go snuggle him because they loved him so much. We almost said goodbye to him in May 2022, as his symptoms were worsening and he no longer wanted to eat. He was a fighter, though, and told us he wasn't done fighting yet by finally eating on his own just as we were trying to make that difficult decision. We took him to the Animal Emergency and Referral Center (AERC) that night.
​
The vet told us that he had developed anemia and our only options were either to take him home and start end-of-life care or do a blood transfusion (which might not even work) and keep him hospitalized for a few days to be monitored. We opted for the blood transfusion. The procedure went well and we were able to come and visit him a day later, though they still had to keep him for another day or two just to be safe. We were also able to have his case looked at by a specialist, and they adjusted his meds to better suit his needs. They were estimating he maybe had a few weeks to a month or so before we ended up back where we were before the transfusion. We were now giving him less medicine a few times a day, SQ fluids every night, and going on walks through our apartment building every night before bed.
​
A few weeks became a few months, and he seemed to be doing even better than he was all of 2022 before his transfusion. We would take him on trips to Petco every week or so, so he could walk around and meet new friends. We would bring him to the park while we played Pokémon GO, even if we ended up just sitting in the car. Starting around September 2022, my boss even let me bring him to work with me on days he wanted me in the office. Vet appointments were few and far between, sometimes a couple of months apart. This pretty much continued all the way into February 2023 until we started to notice more significant symptoms again, and his CKD values were getting much worse. He didn't want to eat, he was hiding more, and he would often seek comfort by laying in his litterbox. We could tell our little warrior was ready to be done fighting.
​
Goodbye:
On the night of Tuesday, February 14th, 2023, Valentine's Day, we decided we couldn't make him fight for us any longer. We called our vet and made an appointment for Thursday, February 16th, 2023. We spent the whole day together on Wednesday, February 15th, 2023, snuggling on the couch and finished with our nightly routine of SQ fluids and a walk. We all spent the night together on the couch, staying awake as long as we could. On Thursday, February 16th, 2023, we brought Fawkes to the vet, and he was excited to walk around and explore the new space for a short while before needing a rest. It was nice to see him perk up and act like how we remembered him to be. The doctors took him away to be prepped and brought him back after a short while. We were petting him, kissing him, and told him he was a good boy and how much we loved him as he peacefully passed. We left there with the heaviest pet carrier ever. An empty one.

Hi, I’m Farza. Today, I’m 28.
Below is a story that's a bit longer then perhaps what is usually post here.
But, I truly think it could perhaps help someone out there.
It's simply a story of a kid figuring it out.
Today I’m the founder of a tech company. We got a bunch of fancy investors, millions of people checking us out every week, stuff like that. It's pretty cool! But, journey there was all thanks to this place.
Everything started for me on this subreddit when I was 19 — leagueoflegends
This subreddit taught me how to code at 19.
This subreddit brought me over 1,000,000 users for my apps at 20.
This subreddit got my first real job as a Deep Learning Engineer at 22.
This subreddit gave me a reason to keep going.
I want to tell you my story because I know a lot of people here are in college or into tech/programing stuff, and it can be a long-winding road. I hope my story helps.
And, if you're someone that has a questions or are struggling with something right now, drop a comment/question! Happy to help.

"FML. I hate this major..."

In 2014 I was just another 18 year-old computer science student.
I picked computer science kinda randomly. I wasn’t sure if I’d be into it. I wasn’t that 12 year-old programming prodigy. Or that kid that had been making Minecraft servers since 14.
But, I truly loved making stuff on computers — editing videos on After Effects, making beats on Audacity, messing around with Unreal Engine, selling stuff on eBay, stuff like that.
So, I picked CS as my major.
Reality was tough though. I sucked at all aspects of programming. If you asked me to make a “for loop” I would have to literally google it every time. Everyone around me felt like a natural. I could barely do the most simple things.
I was lost, depressed, unsure of everything.

"League is cool though..."

But I knew one thing — I loved playing League. I even started the League club at my school and I was that kid that was literally always wearing League merch. My love for the the game was almost irrational.
Here I am repping my League merch back in the day.
So, I thought...
“Hey. Let me combine my two interests — computers/making stuff and League”.
So, I started thinking about making stuff for League players.

"I got an idea".

When playing League me and my friends would always listen to music.
So i got fired up about my first idea to build.
A website that would let League players listen to playlists built for specific champions. I was already doing this with my friends as a meme.
Ex. if I was playing Fiddlesticks — I would have a special playlist that “felt” like Fiddlestick’s energy with spooky halloween music, dark techno, stuff like that.
There were people who were already doing this with Spotify playlists, but, a lot of my friends didn’t have Spotify at the time so I wanted it as a stand-alone website.
I got obsessed with making the idea, and a miracle happened — I got obsessed with programming. I learned Javascript, learned how to make my first website, learned to use an API, learned to deploy a website — all in a few months.
I had support for about 30 champions on the site.
I thought okay, “that’s good enough!”

"Holy shit I have over 1M users"

I released it on this subreddit and got over 2800 upvotes.
I was so excited. I had hundreds of people hitting the site. Butttt, the site kept crashing. So, the post ended up dying.
But I was fired up — “Holy shit! I made a custom web app. All by myself. And, I had hundreds of people from around the world using it!!” I was over the moon.
I went back to the drawing board, redesigned the site/architecture, got two of my buddies to help me making playlists for the rest of the champions and launched it again.
I post it here, it blows up to 19,000 upvotes.
Over the year, it ends up getting over 1M users.
And over 100,000 people would continue using the site regularly. This massively improves my programming skills because I was getting stuff to people at scale! It wasn’t on localhost anymore.
After this, I continue making stuff + posting it on this subreddit.

"I'm getting the hang of this..."

Things continue spiraling as I build cool shit related to League of Legends.

• At 21 I get into Deep Learning and build a training set + algorithm to analyze League of Legends with AI ends up getting used by TSM and other teams in the LCS. Here's the Reddit post.
• At 22 I got to present it at Google. Here's the Reddit post.
• This ends up getting me my first real job at 22, where I get flown out to San Francisco to work at Mayhem (backed by Y-Combinator) where I trained models for our AI coach for people that played games. Ends up getting acquired by Niantic.
• At 23 I join another company as CTO where we built a Chrome Extension that used AI to help you find the perfect League stream to watch based on the champions you wanted to watch. I leave the company at 24, but, a year later this ends up getting acquired by Riot Games. Here's the Reddit post.
• At 24 I end up starting the company I’m at right now — buildspace, a place where people can work on their own ideas. Any idea. From tech, to art, to content, whatever. I wanted to take my learnings and make a company out of it for anyone that wanted to work on their dreams. It's free + remote. Applying takes 60s.

I wanted to tell this story for two reasons:
One — because I want to help people that want to work on their own ideas. And if you’re someone out there reading this with a dream, comment below and lmk! Could be anything. And if you got a quesation lmk. Happy to help. Can also go to buildspace at link above!
Two — because, this subreddit has helped me out so much in the last 10-years. Always supporting my random projects. Always giving me the fire to keep going. So for that I wanna say thank you. And, if you’re someone in a dark place unsure about it all, I hope this story helped.
Keep following your passions.
You will figure it out. In your own way. Promise.
Thanks again, leagueoflegends :)
p.s: feel free to connect with me on Twitter!

Idea

Since I've heard about the abilities and the goals of the mangod I've been thinking about a game where one person plays as the mangod.
It might make sense to use the world of MT, but it's not neccessary for this game.

Thoughts

I wasn't sure how it would work. I thought it would have to be a narrative game. Every character and their stories would have to be set up manually. That's a lot of effort, and it the end you would just finish the game once. Or maybe reach all endings once, and that's it. In the end you would just click all paths. It wouldn't really be strategic.
I thought it would be nice if it was more strategic. Similar to Sudoku, or even more like Minesweeper. You have limited knowledge of the world. There are simple rules. Sometimes you might have to guess. And if you make a mistake it's over.
While reading I always thought of it as huge decision trees. Multiple lines going out from each character, depending on their decisions. And most of them lead to the mangod dying. The mangod would always look at all the paths and try to find one which doesn't lead to his death.
So I thought, it would make sense if for each (important) character a huge decision tree will be generated. And all the decision trees will be connected (so a decision of person A might influence the decisions of person B later).
Depending on the setting it might be possible to see the future of all charactres. But I guess being able to track the future of multiple hundreds of characters would be overkill.
It's was never clear to me why the mangod wasn't able to switch desciples all the time. Maybe I missed it somehow. But if it's possible to look at the future of somebody, he would know his future, and so he wouldn't even have to switch back. So in the end he could just see the future of all characters. And that might be overpowerd. So if his restriction is explained somewhere, I would like to know.
However, I think in a game it would make sense if the mangod never sees all possible paths of the furture of some person. And besides that, it's only possible to switch desciples once per step. An step could be a day, month, year...
I have these basic ideas: - see all possible paths of the person, but only the paths which don't require any interference by other persons - see all paths of the person, but only the paths which can be reached by influencing - only see a few steps in advance, and the likelyhood of important outcomes (especially the death of the mangod, maybe also the death of other characters)
So these huge decision trees for each character might be generated in advance. But they might also be only generated partially.
Generating a decision tree for a single character, who only has two options every year, which would lead to more than one quadrillion (1,000,000,000,000,000) paths. That might be difficult to program, and even more difficult to keep track of when playing as the mangod. So it would be more reasonable if there are only around 10 important events a character might take part in, which also influence the lives of other characters. Most other things are likely rather unimportant.
But there might be different paths to reach one of these important points. For example you want to avoid some characters to get children, there are different paths they could end up together. So you would just have to avoid these if most of your deaths rely in this event. So these unimportant decisions usually add up to become important. But in the end, many decisions don't change a lot and just lead to the same or the same few paths (strong fate).
It would be nice if these trees could be generated automatically. It would still be neccessary to fill them with story I guess. It wouldn't need to be complicated story. Just simple events like "Person A dies", "Person A impregnates person B", "Person A becomes king", "Person A moves from place X to Y", etc. So maybe generating these automatically should work, too. Maybe somehow generating mini stories, which could be used to generate huge stories. I guess using modern AI wouldn't make much sense, though.

Gameplay

The basic game loop might look like this: - you play as the mangod - each step (day, month, year) you select your three deciples - you can look through their possible futures (trees containing around 10 important possible events, and maybe hundreds of unimportant events; not everything might be visible from the beginning) - you can tell each charactre some information you know - then the next step begins - the game ends when the mangod dies - the goal of the mangod might be one of these: - survive for a fixed time - kill some enemy (like Orsted) - ensure there are only paths which don't lead to death (maybe by killing Orsted)
It's probably easier as a single player game where all the characters are NPCs. The NPCs might just always go the same path if the mangod doesn't interfere. But there might also be some randomness instead. Maybe the only "randoness" might come from special characters, which cannot be seen (basically Orsted).
But it might also make sense as a multiplayer game. Either online, or if possible even some kind of table top. But since the mangod would always have three deciples, there should be way more other players (but the rules could also be tweaked so the mangod can only have one desciple at a time). So as a realtime online game it would probably make more sense.
If it's a multiplayer game, the main problem is, that the players already know that the mangod doesn't care about them. So it might be difficult to make them trust the mangod. There would have to be some gameplay mechanic, which makes it reasonable for the mangod to tell the truth. Building trust doesn't work. In the end, the players already know that the mangod would only build trust to betray them one day. Maybe the mangod could explain to somebody that they have the same goals, and the other player might believe it, so they would gladly work together.

Similar game ideas

I already had ideas for similar games before. A game about the mangod would be a mix between the two.

Strategy game

A strategy game, where you follow the stories of multiple charactres (similar to Samurai Warriors 3). Each character has their own story, but depending on which battles you win and lose with each character, or which paths you choose, you might have different paths for other characters.

Demon possesion

You are a demon and always posses one character. You can just live inside them and do nothing, but you can also influence them in various ways. You can communicate to them directly, or you can just give them ideas and feelings. You can be honest or you can lie. You can control their bodies by force or you can make them consent to controlling their bodies.
There might be three ways to switch the person you posses: - you are locked into a magic artifact, like a ring, so the possessed person have to give the ring to the other person - just be close enough - be close and the other person needs to be in a vulnerable state of mind (maybe sad, maybe in love, maybe while being intimate)
It would likely be an episodic game. You would probably start on a small island with only 5 people and have to leave this island at first. And in the end you might get your body back or kill the person who banned you.

Implementation

I doubt I'll actually try to program it for real, but it might be helpful that I've already written a performant perti net simulator in C. Perti nets can be used to represent connected decision trees.

End

So now I've written it down somewhere. Any thoughts?

Hi Ya'll,
I recently graduated OCS and I have been bombarded myself in real life over what to expect with OCS. For context, I went from basic training straight to OCS, and even graduated with honors. From the time of writing this post, it has officially been a month since I graduated. So here is a list of common questions I get and I hope I can settle some anxiety for all of you future 2nd LTs.
Warning: The cadre at OCS does read these Reddit posts, so I won't be able to post answers to tests or events.

1. I haven't received a welcome letter or a packing list. Where can I find it?
   • Fort Moore Officer Candidate School (army.mil) I would download and print the packing list and the ISAP. The ISAP acts more or less like a syllabus from college. It will give a rough understanding of the rules, regulations, and requirements for you to pass.
2. Is everything on the packing list required?
   • Yes. Try your best to follow the packing list to the letter. It is almost entirely dependent on the cadre and of course, the weather does play a part in their decision making. Some things you'll find you didn't really need or use throughout your cycle. For example, my cycle didn't use 550 Cord almost at all, but I used it to build a hooch and secure sensitive items.
3. What if I don't have the required equipment on the packing list?
   • When it comes to military equipment, try your best and bring what you can. I was never issued an IFAK before OCS or after. The cadre understands they have some coming from basic and those in-service. So if you have it, bring it. If not, bring it up to your cadre and they'll schedule time to get it issued to you.
4. Anything not on the packing list you recommend?
   • I would recommend the following: hand soap, bathroom spray, travel vacuum, wet wipes, clipboard with compartment, pillow, very bright headlamp, multitool, and laminator. Hand soap because for some reason OCS had a hard time procuring it. Travel vacuum because you'll likely have 2 or 3 vacuums available to your platoon and having your own saves time. Wet wipes to dust everything down. Clipboard with compartment for Land Nav as you'll be running with maps, marker, protractor, and your points so its best to have something safe and secure. Laminator for your papers because its Georgia and your papers can get wet. The pillows at OCS have this weird plastic cover on so if you want a better night sleep, get a better pillow. The headlamp is just in case, some classes enforce the lumen limit while others don't, Land Nav is DARK so if you can find a lighthouse out there, do it. The multitool is just useful to have especially if you are out in the field.
5. Where can I find some things on the packing list I am missing?
   • Luckily there is a company called Commandos who helped us out the entire time. They have an OCS purchasing list you can take advantage of. They even deliver that weekend at the footprint.
   • Visit: https://commando-military-supply-9d5038.printavo.com/merch/ocs-packing-list/
6. I saw you can bring your laptops? Is it required for classes? Can I opted in for a tablet or iPad?
   • You can bring a personal laptop primarily for recreational use after duty hours. OCS will provide you with a government laptop that you'll need to use your CAC to access. Tablets and iPads are not considered laptops and will be confiscated like a phone. If the majority of your class has issues with the government-issued laptops, then the cadre may allow the use of your personal laptops.
7. What is your day-to-day look like?
   • Mostly on a non-physical or FTX event coming up you'll follow the following schedule: 0500 - wake up. First formation is at 0600, then you conduct PT until breakfast. After breakfast, you will head to the classroom and stay there until lunch, return and stay there until dinner. After dinner, it will be the end of the duty hours and you'll roughly have 2 hours for personal time.
8. What are the most important categories/test to focus on?
   • Treat everything as important. Every test you do not pass can put you at risk of being recycled, and it is up to you to catch up. For example while everyone is studying for tactics, you'll be studying tactics and history if you failed history. So save yourself the hassle and take every test seriously. The big 3 recycle events have been historically, Army History (70% to pass), Land Nav (4 points or more to pass (day and night)), and the 4-mile run (need to run in under 36 minutes regardless of gender).
9. How many retests or chances do you get?
   • You get 2 tries at everything before recycle. You get 2 tries again at the same test then you can be dismissed. For example: You are part of Alpha company. You failed history twice. You get recycled into Bravo company. You failed history twice again. You can be dismissed.
   • If you happen to pass history but fail Land Nav twice, then you'll be recycled into Charlie. If you fail Land Nav twice then you can be dismissed.
10. What is a recycle? What does it look like in OCS? Can you get dismissed?
    • A recycle is when you fail something twice and you get "recycled" into the next class. A recycle can occur for other reasons such as illness or injury. You can also be recycled for improper behavior or being "peered out". Every class starts up in a like a month (I heard they are changing that for even further out). So even though the cycle takes about 12 weeks to complete, if you get recycled you can expect more like 16 weeks or more. We had someone at OCS who has been with it for a year. If you get recycled for repeat offenses, or do something majorly bad such as breaking the law, then you can be dismissed.
11. What is being peered out mean?
    • Throughout the cycle you are put into a platoon and then a squad. Your squadmates eventually all sit down and fill out a form to give to the cadre who is the weakest link in the squad. Usually, squads kick out the person they do not like. We had to kick out one person because they didn't mesh well within the squad and wasn't very kind. He would then get replaced with someone else who got peered out. Luckily after that one person got kicked out, the squad improved and we tried our hardest to keep it together. We still needed to peer someone out, but we kept tabs on them and invited them to a lot of our squad functions nonetheless as my squads grew to love and respect each other as a family.
    • If you do get peered out, unfortunately, you get a spot report, moved to a different squad, and are at risk of being recycled if peered out again. Stay humble and help out whenever you can. I got the most respect from my squadmates as I stayed up late with them to help them with their STX lanes.
12. What is personal time like?
    • You essentially use personal time to work out if the PT wasn't enough, clean yourself, and prepare for bed. Yes if you have time, you can contact family and friends (when you get your phones), and if you have the time, play games. I don't recommend playing games as it distracts you from the mission of graduating.
13. What are the different phases like?
    • You are separated into 3 phases. Black, Blue, and White. You immediately enter black phase upon arrival with a tradition called "Gold to Black". Which is more or less a physical smoking session. During Black you are expected to run everywhere, not be able to drink coffee, have your phone confiscated (and given back on Sunday), and have less personal time. Blue you get the ability to drink coffee again, and you have your phones returned and used only during personal time. During Blue you get the ability to visit and explore the base (Fort Moore) and shop around. During White phase you get the ability to explore off-base (Columbus) and you get to wear civilian clothes. White phase if you leave off-post, you need to be in uniform, and on-base you can be in civilians.
14. Can you use your personal vehicle?
    • Yes, but you can only drive it during White Phase
15. How can I keep in contact with my family during Black phase?
    • I recommend that you download WhatsApp or some other social media on your laptop and have your family members on it.
16. Can I visit the gym on base?
    • Yes during Blue phase you can visit the gym. Rules regulate that you leave the footprint in uniform and change into the appropriate PT uniform once at the gym and conducting PT.
17. What is the DFAC like?
    • The DFAC is better than basic training and offers snacks like cookies, granola bars, ice cream, and soda. They have a salad bar and the usual cycle of foods. They do have a "short-order" line that serves fries, burgers, hot dogs, etc. To stay in physical shape, I recommend eating your fruit and a side salad every meal. Drink juice, Gatorade, or water only. I only drank soda and the burger after an intense physical requirement like a long run or a ruck march to regain my glucose and caloric levels.
18. Does Amazon deliver there?
    • Yes, you can have other things delivered to the footprint. However, the Cadre are going to inspect it for food and other contraband. Just ask the cadre for the delivery address. It may take like 2 weeks for them to deliver it.
19. Any final advice?
    • Be helpful and noticeable amongst your squad but try not to bring attention to yourself from the cadre. Take everything seriously and give yourself proper rest and proper nutrition. OCS is not hard, but it can be if you let it get to you. OCS is designed to test your competency, commitment, and character. I luckily had an amazing squad, and I had a blast with them.
20. Any advice on room cleanliness?
    • Your rooms will always be inspectable. You literally leave the door open and cadre can enter whenever they please to inspect your room. Room inspections are always very strict and can result in spot reports. Some tips I did with my roommates were the following: Always help each other lock each other's lockers. If it is open the cadre will then see how much of a mess it is. My closet was 90% of the time never up to standard as it is hard to putting away everything nice and neat every single night. I also slept on the floor to not disturb my bed as any wrinkle can result in a spot report. I used an extra towel as a display in the bathroom and never used it, and I used an extra laundry bag as a display and never used it.

I want this to be an open forum so don't be afraid to leave any more questions below. If the answer you are seeking is not above, then write the question in the comments, and I will try my best to answer you before you are sent off. Best of luck, thank you for your service, and be the best leaders your soldiers deserve.

Finished my latest build, still tweaking here and there but mostly happy with it. It's on the plot NW of Brighthaven, and currently has about 725 tiles. Might have gone a bit overboard there....
I'm running my own private server so various limits have been increased; total tiles, height, etc.
You can see a ton of pics HERE.
Used admin commands to clip stuff into stuff. You can do some cool things like:
Place a fountain where it normally wouldn't go, and put a tree inside it
Put furniture under the pergola's, as it should
Put a pergola where it doesn't want to be, and connect a garden fence to it
Make a nice lighted centerpiece for your tables
Finally connect those damn hedges as they should
Put a working garden fence in the hedge 'door' where it belongs
This one is subtle but put a brazier inside the waypoint gargoyles to make 'em creepier
Park statues inside lights, or lights inside statues, for cool effects
Put stuff on tables, combine items, have gargoyles peek out of walls, etc
Combine a pillar, 4 fireplaces, and 4 gargoyles to make a neat furnace for your boiler room
Have the smoke stacks outside of the walls
Put a bigass fountain in the walls of your dining room to make it even more ostentatiouser
Any many more...
How to do that in case people are interested:

1. You need to be able to use the 'adminauth' command in the console to give yourself the admin rights. If you're running your own server you probably already know how to do this. I don't know how this works in the private game options.
2. Enable observer mode by typing 'toggleObserver 2'. This lets your character clip into objects if needed. You can disable it by typing 'toggleObserver 0'.
3. Place the item you want to move somewhere nearby, in the orientation/rotation you want it.
4. Move your char to the exact center of the spot where you want to move the item.
5. Place your cursor over the item you want to move and type 'teleport ClosestUnitToCursor Self'. This will move the item closest to your mouse cursor to your exact location, clipping into whatever is there.

Getting things in the exact spot can be a bit tricky but there's a few tricks you can use to make it easier by binding the commands to keys:

console.bind c teleport ClosestUnitToCursor Self console.bind i toggleObserver 0 console.bind o toggleObserver 2 

This will bind the c key to the teleport command. The i key to normal no-clipping mode, and the o key to clipping mode. Use whichever keys you find handy. Hit o to go stand in the spot, hover over the item that needs moving, hit c. If the location is off enable build mode and move the item back, move your char a bit, and teleport it again. It can take a couple of tries.
Be careful because the teleport command will happily move whatever it thinks you selected. It'll yoink a growing plot out from under a flower, or grab a wall-fixed light from 3 floors over. There's no undo-button so you'll have to go fix it yourself :)
Note that you can move a lot of stuff, but not everything. Walls, windows, doorways, stairs, carpets,etc cannot be moved. Neither can anything that goes flush on a wall, like vegetation.
The big fountain in particular has a rather large invisible hitbox above it; so if you move it too far under stairs or whatever it could block off the stairs with an invisible wall.
Note that you can't disassemble objects, nor shapeshift, while you're in the clipping mode.
Have fun clipping stuff into other stuff!

Hi everyone!
Likely the most common type of post in this sub is asking for guidance about what current/upcoming characters would most benefit their account to pull. I've dipped into a few of these threads to offer what insight I have, but I feel like there are some basic principles that are easy to see once you've played for a while that are less obvious when you first start, and talking about those might help more people than handing out fish individually.
Disclaimer: I'm not a hardcore player. I don't whale (monthly passes and NH only). I couldn't recognize a damage simulation calculation if it hit my mother. My main qualification to talk about this is being a person who has played every day since release, and since about three months after that, hasn't gotten less than max stars in every MoC/PF. I'm what I assume most would call a "successful casual" player. So if that's your current goal, I'm hoping I can help.
Second Disclaimer: YOU ARE HERE TO HAVE FUN, IF SOMEONE LOOKS COOL TO YOU, PULL FOR THEM. Everything below is for getting your account on it's feet as fast as possible, but ultimately the only factor in HSR is time. No matter who you pull, your account will have everything it needs eventually, and you WILL get all those stars. If you're in no rush, skip my post since it will only be as valuable as who-to-pull advice as /okbuddytrailblazer. Remember: If you aint mirin' your fun is expirin'

~-~Okay, but who should I pull??~-~

You're first priority should always be a powerful sustain unit.
Why?
Because with a reasonable investment, the 4* damage units on your team will do just fine (for now). Pulling a damage unit is tempting in the beginning because big numbers and flashy animations are cool (and listen, I know thats why we're all here), but you don't get to see those big numbers and animations if your damage dealer is dead. The biggest jump in the power and confy-ness of my account was upgrading Bailu to Fu-Xuan. Suddenly my team was surviing long enough to finish fights that seemed like close-calls at best a day prior. My damage was still middling, but at least I was surviving long enough to deal it.

"Okay, but what makes a sustain unit good? Aren't all limited sustains better than 4*/Bailu?"

While most/all limited sustains will broadly be better than 4*/Bailu, they are not all going to be equally valuable to an in-progress account. As of right now, pretty much all of the released sustain units are top tier and worth getting for new accounts, but as more are released, you're going to see units fit more into niches that are much more valuable to more established accounts that can take advantage of those niches, and much less valuable to new accounts that mostly just need to cover the basics.
"The basics" just refers to two things, mainly:

1. Can your sustain unit heal/block enough damage to keep your units alive?
2. Can your sustain cleanse/prevent CC effects that would hamper your team's ability to do their job?

So a quick breakdown of the current sustains and how they cover those basics:
Luocha

1. Potent single target heals with free casts, and potent off-turn healing means any damage that doesnt outright one-shot your team is healed back to full quickly and easily
2. His ability when triggered manually or through his passive, cleanses, allowing for quick reactions to CC

FuXuan

1. Extreme damage mitigation and small heals allow teams to easily survive all but the most punishing content
2. Once-per-cast ability blocks single or team-wide CC

Huohuo

1. Insane ability healing output, plus consistent off-turn healing keeps teams alive, albeit at an SP cost
2. Her ability's target, as well as all recipients of her off-turn healing are cleansed, making pretty much all negative effects complete non-issues.

Aventurine

1. High value shields that self refreshes if they survive long enough give comfy margins for even big incoming damage
2. Self-CC immunity plus reasonable CC resist on his shield mean your only real enemy is bad luck

Any of these units will make your main team feel near-invincible.

But what about upcoming sustains? Will they be just as good?

Maybe! We can look at the kits of some 4* sustains to see what more niche sustain kits may look like in the future:
Gallagher:

1. Fair healing output, but requires the injured party to attack or else costs 1SP to heal directly.
2. Cleanse on ability, but locked behind E2. Only on-turn, costs SP.
3. Break effect debuff on ult/EBA means synergy with teams that benefits from debuffs/BE.

Gallagher's sustain capabilities aren't much compared to the limited units'. But he has a place in teams that will benefit from his strong debuff, as they may not need as much healing/cleansing due to knocking-the-bajesus out of the enemy before they can attack. Valuable to someone with Acheron? Absolutely! Is he going to keep your level 40 QingQue alive long enough to kill the Deer? Probably not.

~-Okay, I have a plan to get a sustain, can I blow something up now?-~

Yes! But, just like sustains, there are going to be things to look out for to get the most out of your first limited damage-dealer.
1. Is your DPS going to struggle if the enemy is not weak to their element?

• Seele or JingYuan are great for on-element battles, but are going to struggle a lot more if the enemy is resistant to their damage.
  
• JingLiu and Acheron care a lot less about if the enemy is weak to their element, and much more about why they have the audacity to still be alive
  
• Look for future units that either bring their own weakness penetration, can implant their element's weakness, or deal damage that reduces toughness regardless of type
  

2. Is your DPS going to struggle because they lack an essential partner unit you don't own?

• DHIL is great, but without Sparkle/Luocha, is going to have to compromise a lot of his turns to deal 5 digit numbers, and like, who wants that?
• Black Swan is amazing, but a whole different level of cracked with Kafka.
• Look for units that act as their own support unit. Ultimates/Passives that grant high crit or penetration values make these characters much more forgiving to build and play in a wide variety of teams.

3. What situation is your DPS built to handle?

• Argenti is the PF Konami code, but probably isn't going to breeze you through MoC, or the SU modules
• Acheron/JingLiu/DHIL can can handle almost all content at least passably well, and where they shine they dazzle
• Look for units that deal with big health bars, but don't ingore other enemies. As of right now, Limited Destruction units seem to be skeleton keys for most content.

So are other DPS units not worth getting?

Every limited DPS unit in the game has a place and team that makes them amazing. Once your account is getting its full value out of the biweekly challenges, then the best value comes from building synergies.

~-Okay I have my damage dealer, and they're staying alive. Why are my numbers so much lower than the ones I see in screenshots and videos?-~

When you first start HSR, it seems like the real heroes are the damage dealers "WoAw That Acheron just hit an Ult for 850k!"
But did they? or was it the Silver Wolf and Pela standing behind her?
The real excitement now, is in the buffers/debuffers
Limited Harmony (and utility Nihility) units are the last piece to the puzzle. Not only will they give you screenshot-worthy damage numbers, but they have much more broad appeal to teams than other roles.
While certain teams want certain stats more than others, ultimately, stats are stats, and whether that means you're going faster, hitting harder, or getting more energy for ultimates, your DPS units will almost always benefit from a limited support unit.
There aren't that many of them, so lets talk about all of them and what makes them good.
1. Bronya

• Attack/crit buffs are great for most damage dealers
• More turns for the turn god. As long as you have the SP to fund it, giving your main units more actions is always amazing.
• More stats for the stat throne. Free dmg% just for existing, and SP generation with her cone are pretty universally useful. Self-action advance on auto-attack means even wasted turns aren't wasted.
• Speed tuning is not essential, but a great way to make Bronya even better when you get the opportunity to stop and fully invest in her.
• She's not even a limited 5* and she's amazing. That's how powerful Harmony units are
• Put her on any team with excess SP

2. RuanMei

• Truly uses the entire buffalo with no wasted stats at all. DMG% Penetration% and Break are desirable on pretty much every team, and she bring a truckload of all of them.
• Getting the stats to enable said truckload does require some time and effort, but once done, you have a unit that can fit in pretty much every team and make them that much better
• Break seems to be an upcoming focus akin to DoT or FuA, and she will be top tier in every one of those teams.
• Put her on any team that has other characters

3. SParkle

• Enormous single target crit buffs, action advance, and huge SP generation make for a near-universally useful hypercarry enabler.
• More forgiving with speed-tuning than Bronya, but with just as much room for big dividend payouts with investment
• Put her on any team that gets most/all of its damage from one source (Avoid DoT teams, unless they can crit somehow in the future)

4. Robin

• More hits, harder hits. Already hit hard and often? Hit harderer and oftener.
• Full team advance means more damage AND more SP generation while putting herself on the shelf and passively generating energy from the team.
• One of the easiest buffers to build, since her desired stats are basically just attack, speed and energy gen.
• Put her on any team that attacks enemies, the more attacks the better

5. Silver Wolf

• Tsunami of debuffs for teams with Acheron/Ratio.
• Great for teams that are generally underbuilt since she also weakens the enemy's atk and spd
• Enables off-element DPS teams, albeit one target at a time.
• Put on any team that needs to deal off-element damage, benefits from debuffs, or is only fighting one main target.

6. Harmony Trailblazer

• Everyone gets one!
• Likely top tier for future break teams
• Deals a ton of damage on their own, and allows the same for other non-damage dealers on the team.
• Only comes online during Break windows, but when pairs great with Ruan Mei for fastelonger break windows

~-I have a character for all three roles! Now what?-~

At this point, you should be able to capable handle at least one side of MoC/PF, and you'll want to shift focus to your second team, but this is much more open ended, so let just talk about some considerations that will make choosing new characters easier. Remember that ultimately your goal is to have teams that can reliably clear the biweekly challenges and SU modules.
1. Do you already have units that have synergy with the new units?

• You picked up Robin for general support use, but now have a top tier Follow-up buffer. So units like Topaz and Aventurine will be more valuable to pull in the future.
• While pulling for 5*s, you E6'd Pela. So units like Acheron, JingLiu, or DHIL have a great support waiting for them if pulled.

2. Do you have coverage for the weaknesses of your current teams?

• You have a great JingLiu hypercarry team, but you struggle to clear PF. Units like Argenti or Jade (Or Himeko from the 300 selector) will bring a ton of value and become invaluable in their current PF niche.
• In high MoC floors, your B-team keeps getting CC'd/dying. Getting your second sustain unit will not only make your B-team much more comfy, but also you'll be free to not pull another sustain for a long time, if ever.
• Remember that your A-team doesn't have to always stick together. If your buffers and DPS are clearing their floors quickly, move your sustain to your B-Team since they'll need to survive longer to finish their floor

3. Is a new unit going to require a ton of investment to come online?

• Some units are amazing, but are going to suck up your resources for a while until they fully come online. Hitting the Break threshold on Ruan Mei or Firefly might keep you from either getting the most out of them while you build up your other characters, or delay getting a full team until you farm a lot of gear.

~-TLDR;-~

• Pull for units you like
• Have a plan to get a Sustain > Damage Dealer > Support unit for your first team
• Focus more on broadly effective units early on while you're still building your teams
• Look for strong synergies with characters you already have
• Build outward from your current roster once you have one solid team built

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Everybody wants Norsca to be relevant and good again. With Epidemus, Tamurkhan, Malakai, Kislev, Thrott the Unclean, Malus Darkblade surrounding you, and the WoC update, a lot of people have complained that the Norsca roster feels slim, bare-bones, and their campaign can feel lackluster. That being said, Norsca has an amazing economy (arguably the best), a solid dependable defensive base in Norsca, the capability for rapid expansion, and strong lords so it definitely DOES have a lot going for it, and Throgg himself can lead an extremely frenzied (or rapid) campaign.
TL;DR of How Throgg and Norsca Work

• Norscan leaders can automatically confederate other Norscan factions by defeating the faction leader. This leads to Throgg having a 4 settlement start by the end of turn 1.
  
• With the blue line skill tree, you can get 9% improved casualty replenishment, another 9% with a Fimir Balefiend. That's a TON of casualty replenishment, especially when you consider the fact that with Mammoths, Ice Trolls, and Skin Wolves, your units rarely if ever drop to a low amount of models.
  
• Throgg gives Trolls & Ice Tolls a physical resistance of 15% and a reduced upkeep of 20%, which makes the unit absolutely fantastic faction wide.
  
• Their tier 3 ports give 800 income, 15% casualty replenishment and +30 growth. Enough said.
  
• Loads of buffs for sacking, and rewards you for razing settlements to the ground. When you raze a settlement, you can dedicate it to 4 gods. Benefits ranging from improved income from ports, improved casualty replenishment, reduced upkeep for your armies, and unique lords.
  
• A monster hunting mechanic that gives items, cash, and of course, unique RoR monsters to join your armies. Surprisingly, this actually isn't really that impactful. The RoR are amazing, especially the Hellcannon, but they're minor compared to everything else.
  

Pros & Cons:
Will try to only give pros and cons relevant to Throgg's faction rather than the Norsca.
Pros:

• Very fresh campaign because wherever you look, you have enemies. In less than 40 turns, it's almost guaranteed you will fight Dwarves, WoC, Nurgle, Kislevians, Dark Elvens, Empire, Norscans, Skavens and a plethora of LLs.
  
• You can get Throggs end game doomstack online very fast. The doomstack stays relevant the entire game. Throgg is fun AF to use, and Ice Trolls & Skin Wolves reliably destroy most armies. I wish I could have 5 Throggs, I'd literally paint the entire map in maybe 100 turns.
  
• Very flexible gameplay that rewards you in every way for being aggressive and moving forward.
  
• Throgg gives his personal armies Trolls +8 MD, +12 Leadership (!!), another -10% upkeep, 20% missile resistance, Frenzy (which is massive on these guys), and most importantly, HORRIBLE REGENERATION which means they can REVIVE DEAD MODELS (ABSOLUTELY WILD). These buffs also apply to Skin Wolves and Femirs. With the red tree, you can give them another +6 MA and 12% WS. With techs, +10% charge bonus, and another +10% WS. **THEY ARE INSANE AND HIT LIKE A WRECKING BALL. To make it even better, Throgg has the ability to give Ice Trolls a global recruitment turn of 1, which greatly improves your ability to navigate in enemy lands.
  
• Norscans encamp stance is a raiding encamp stance providing 10 MD, 10 LD, raids, makes them immune to attrition, and decreases the upkeep of that army by 20%. Huge, huge plus.
  
• When you confederate Wulfrik, he's still the same insane duelist. With his abilities, you can reliably snipe 99% of the LLs with little to no effort. I struggle to see an enemy AI that can take him on except maybe Malus Darkblade and even then, you'd need a large XP gap. Mammoth Wulfrik? No shot. He can drop most generic LLs MD to 0 and stop them from moving.
  
• You can achieve the win condition by as little as 30 turns. Damn.
  
• Easily the best end turn sound effect. Click end turn, inhale, and yell NOOORSCAA.
  

Cons:

• The roster is slim, and as a result, it can become very stale. In fact, I would boil down the roster to two LLs, heroes, ice trolls, chaos trolls, mammoths (sick af tho), and skin wolves. You could maybe play fimirs but you have better trolls so why? That's really not that many units when you consider factions like WoC, Lizardmen, High Elves, Skaven, etc. This is a WH1 faction, they should have so many more units (I get that it may not have as much content from the table top).
  
• You have defendable inner provinces but you're surrounded by enemies. You literally can't be everywhere at once. Although, when you conquer the Northern chaos wastes, you have your back to the edge of the map.
  
• Norsca is too long. It can take upwards of 8 turns to go from 1 end to the other, and there's mountains separating them as well, so you could chase Wulfrik down the middle only for him to be on the other end and all of a sudden you're listening to this.
  
• Outside of your own personal goals, the campaign offers little to no goals after you beat the initial goal. You got the only other LL within 30 turns. You crushed Kislev. The Empire is a grind. You got your tier 5 settlements and units within 30 turns. It can be stale. I personally enjoyed the campaign late in because I like painting the map and watching Throgg eat up different LLs but there were moments where it was weak.
  

Early Game:
You do have a bit of a tough initial battle, but you got it for sure. Let your province allow you to recruit 1 more, recruit and move. Ignore Norsca after you get your initial province, go down, take Malakai out ASAP (very achievable, rush his artillery). get Lair of the Trolls, go down and you'll find Kostatlyn and Azazel fighting, with Kostatlyn wounded. In fact, if you offer to join his war against Azazel, he'll most likely agree to be your vassal (happened in 3 out of 3 playthroughs). Don't let him be your vassal, he won't join wars against Katarin and its in your victory condition to crush him. With this, you have Katarin to crush and you can recruit another lord in Norsca to lead your war to confederate the others.
Build infrastructure buildings ASAP. Minor settlements will have growth building + minor military chains + either the income building (only 150g, so not really worth it), or the building that gives you a wizard hero.
If you decide to raise another army, it could be worth it to wait till Throgg minimizes the global recruit time for trolls. You can save loads of turns and cash because you recruit 3 Ice Trolls per turn. Replace Throggs army with Ice Trolls ASAP though, and make sure that its recruited on the east side of your province because thats significantly faster to reach Throgg with than raising at the capital.
Mid Game:
A decision here: Do you continue conquering past Kislev into the Empire and eventually running into the Chaos dwarves? Or do you conquer the entirety of Norsca and go north? It's up to you. You've probably already accomplished your early victory conditions, so it's entirely up to you.
The ideal composition for non-Throgg armies now are LL, 2 Skinwolf Werekin, 1 Fimir Balefiend, and 1 Sorcerer-Shaman, 6 Skin Wolves, Ice Trolls, and maybe 3-4 ranged units (I add them for flavor but you could just have more Ice Trolls or whatever you want here).
Malus Darkblade will be a PROBLEM. Loads of ranged weapons, artillery, and Malus is a tough, tough guy to beat. Sigvald might also have the legendary heroes with him + upwards of 5-6 armies between him and his vassal who attack you from all sides. Sigvald and Malus will 100% get some of your settlements. You can't be everywhere all at once.
Late Game:
Mammoth doomstacks. Raze settlements. Occupy and paint the map. Do whatever you want. You were done with your objectives in the early game, it's entirely up to you what you want to do now. You've also experienced most of the roster, so it's literally just long term objectives for you. I would actually not advise that you play into the late game, because I am almost certain you will find the campaign stale as hell and the god rewards aren't worth grinding out for, especially now that we have Tzeentch and Nurgle factions.
Trees
In this order for Throgg:

• Blue Tree: I recommend 3 points in despoilers, 1 in Norscan Resilience (You're never there long enough to benefit from the growth and recruitment cost doesnt matter). Lightning strike, unnatural healing, and then you can skip spawn of chaos but you're already there so you might as well.

Into

• Red Tree: You definitely want to optimize for trolls, and then for monsters of the north. On Throgg though, you can skip going for monsters of the north, and immediately go into Throggs line now.
  
• Throggs Line: You can skip Dread Retainers (its good but not necessarily priority). Primordial might is great for WS as well, makes it worth getting.
  
• Yellow Tree: The rest is up to you. It's all good here, I take hard to hit and deadly blade, wound maker, and indomitable/scarred veteran (both good, especially since Throggs regen helps him last vs LLs that cause terror).
  

Research Tree

• Beeline to Corpulent Sails (campaign movement range is insane).
  
• Monster Hunter into Ice Blooded Strength (boost your trolls even more).
  
• The rest is completely up to you, I skip the marauder lines though (so basically just ignore top left of the research map).
  

Stand Out Units, lords, heros

• Trolls: You should know this by now. Beasts, crazy stats, crazy regen, cheaper, physical resistance, easy to globally recruit.
  
• War Mammoths: One of the coolest units in the game, a doomstack of these has a hard time losing.
  
• Skinwolves: I actually got really good use out of these units in the campaign. Anti-large is becoming more and more useful, the regen is excellent, they're speedy as hell, I was surprised by how much I loved this unit. They definitely fall off as the game goes on though.
  
• Chaos Frost Dragon: You will recruit these because they're dragon. They're pretty good. You'll enjoy.
  
• Throgg & Wulfrik are really, really fun. Wulfrik more so than Throgg. He has a ton of bound abilities.
  

Overall Rating & Review
If you're an old head who's played a ton of Norsca, it be very enjoyable to play Norsca with the new LLs that surround you. If you're new and own WH1, Norsca is a fun faction that you need no DLC for to have everything. There's no time wasted in this campaign, no down time, it ramps up as fast as it burns out.
Definitely a fun change of pace, a straightforward campaign, it's not where we would probably want Norsca as a faction and they would benefit a ton from just a few more units and some end game goals. That being said, I don't think it deserves the amount of hate I see it getting. It's enjoyable.
Final rating:
8/10+ if you're a Norsca fan.
7/10 if you're neutral.
5/10 if you're a difficulty nut.
Also everyone, it's my second time writing a guide or a review for Total War, so if you have any feedback, please do let me know in the comments! I submit my first guide for Nakai over a year ago, and I still get messages in my inbox and on that thread for it which really motivated me to make another guide. I'll be more than happy to get back to anyone if they have any questions, I had a great time playing this campaign and I love this game!

This is my proposition for the MMO, The Legend of Zelda: War of Hyrule.
Object of the game: The armies of Queen Zelda and King Ganondorf are at war. The game is over upon the assassination of either. The player must choose a faction and cannot change sides until the defeat of Ganondorf or Zelda. It will all start again after. Ganondorf and Zelda are controlled by humans whose full time job is playing the game. There will be six people playing as each. Three people taking an 8 hour shift Monday-Friday and three people on Saturday and Sunday. When one has to call in sick or use PTO, one will take over another's shift. They can turn on AI when they need to go to the bathroom or out to lunch. The people playing as Link and Dark Link are rewarded to the player with the highest kills of their respective factions.
Ganondorf has a country to the north of Hyrule, over the gorge, past the badlands complete with it's own castle, depths, sky islands, and surface. Players to his faction start there. The country is named Drogmire.
Hyrule has been restored and even expanded. Hyrule Castle is even bigger because they put in a middle section of the castle when it got separated and they now have a really big basement going to the bottom of the depths. The final boss area in The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom is repurposed to be part of Hyrule Castle. The damaged areas are also repaired. Hyrule Castle Town Market has been restored to contain a variety of stores.
The game is $10 a month. $5 with a subscription to Nintendo Switch Online. The players of the winning faction get the next month free. Everyone pays the first month. If multiple victories happen in one month, only the first one counts. The monthly fee will contribute to the wages of the people playing as Zelda and Ganondorf, maintenance, and adding additional features.
There are ten playable races. Five to each faction. Everyone starts out with 23 hearts. 17 shrines per race. Other races cannont enter the shrine designed to that particular race. There is a boss at the end of every shrine, but only 17 total. You can rechallenge three of the bosses a day. Upon the completion of a shine a heart container will be awarded. Stamina vessels will be purchased for 2000 rupees each. More shrines may be added as time goes on.
There will be a new separate armor set for shoes.
You can create your own character's physical appearance in an avatar creator. Players have the option of letting AI suggest a physical appearance. In order to avoid everyone wearing the same looking armor, AI will decide what each set of armor looks like or you can edit it yourself. The effect of the armor is the same for everyone. The Hateno Dye Shop can make other alterations besides color change.
Fast travel is limited to once per day. Completed shrines are the fast travel points and the map builder. Shrines also act as a launchpad. Maps are unavailable in enemy territory. This prevents an absolute frenzy to one location when the locations of Zelda or Ganondorf are revealed. Fast travel cannot be done inside enemy territory except to exit. Entering is not allowed.
The new type of Goo called Bliss will he introduced. It is the glowing yellow version of Gloom. Those in Zelda's Faction will experience healing in Bliss while those in Ganondorf's faction will be hurt by Bliss. There will also be a new food called Light Clumps. They offer Bliss Warding for Ganondorf's Factions, but are poison to Zelda's Faction. Dark Clumps are poisonous to Ganondorf's faction. It will cause poison damage if used as a weapon such as fused to an arrow or a melee weapon.
Powers of Purah pads for Zelda's Faction and Astor pads for Ganondorf's faction include Ultrahand, Fuse, Autobuild, Ascend, Rewind, Stasis, and the three new abilities: Grow, Shrink, and Arrow Prefusion. They also act as phones to communicate with other players over a distance.
Playable races to Zelda's faction.
Hylian: Level 3 Stealth Unarmed ability is Earthwake. Sprint upon pressing B. Material drops upon defeat: femurs and ears.
Rito: Level 2 Cold Resistance Unarmed ability is Gust Flight upon pressing B. No stamina is consumed when gliding, but stamina is consumed when obtaining lift. Material drops upon defeat:Beaks and wings.
Goron: Level 2 Fireproof Unarmed ability is Charge. Rolling upon pressing B. Cannot swim, but can walk on bottom of water. Cannot ride horses except giant ones. Material Drops upon defeat are back shells and hands.
Zora: Level 3 Swim Speed. Unarmed ability is Water Slash. Sprinting upon pressing B on land, super speed swimming in water. Cannot drown, even when stamina is depleted. Can swim underwater. Material Drops upon defeat: Head and arm fins.
Gerudo: Level 2 Heat Resistance. Unarmed ability is Riju's Fury. Sprinting upon pressing B. Materials dropped upon defeat: arm bones and rib cages.
Playable characters to Ganondorf's faction.
Bokoblin: Level 3 Speed Up. Unarmed ability is charge. Sprint upon pressing B. Materials dropped on defeat: horns and fangs.
Moblin: Level 3 Bliss Warding Resistance. Unarmed ability is Ground Pound. Sprint upon pressing B. Cannot ride horses except giant ones. Materials dropped upon defeat: horns and fangs.
Lynel: Attack Up Level 3. Unarmed ability is Fire Breath. Dash upon pressing B at the cost of one full stamina wheel. Cannot ride horses, shield surf, or paraglide, or climb. Materials dropped upon defeat: Sharp horn and blunt horn.
Lizalfo: Shock Resistance Level 3 Unarmed ability is Water Ball Spit. Sprint upon pressing B on land, super speed in water. Cannot drown even when stamina is depleted. Can swim underwater. Materials dropped upon defeat: horns and fins.
Gibdo: Defense Up Level 3. Unarmed ability is Sandstorm. Flight upon pressing B. No stamina consumed when gliding, but stamina is consumed when obtaining lift. Materials dropped upon defeat: ribcage and wings.
Ganondorf, Zelda, Link, and Dark Link all have 40 hearts, three stamina wheels, and all max level buffs. All their stock weapons are unbreakable. Melee weapons do 100 damage unfused, bows do 50 damage, and shields have 90 Shield Guard.
In game communication is avaliable. A USB keyboard can be plugged into the Nintendo Switch. Voice chat is also available. Since all Gerudos must be female and all Gorons must be male, there is also an AI voice changer you can use to sound like your opposite gender. Not that a wrong gender sounding voice is unacceptable. It can also be used to personalize your voice for your other characters if you choose.
All forageable materials respawn every midnight in the Pacific time zone because that is where Nintendo of America is located.
Players can buy, sell, donate, or trade items at their own agreed price. To prevent inflation, there will be only 2 billion rupees in the game. The prices in shops will be adjusted by AI in a supply and demand algorithm.
Local 2 player splitscreen is available.
There will be robot factories where people can assemble their own robots that are AI controlled to hunt down enemies.
There will be a real estate system. Players can buy and sell land and houses. They can design their own homes and store any excess items there.
Champions and Divine Beasts
Whomever has the most kills within that race is labeled the Champion. Each Champion is rewarded with a mansion that has its own armory, storage space, and garage for their own Divine Beast. Only Champions may use Divine Beasts. Kills made while piloting a Divine Beasts do not count towards your kills to keep your position as a Champion or to play as Link or Dark Link because Divine Beasts are overpowered. The Divine Beasts include the ones from the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and more for Hylians, and all of Ganondorf's faction.
Divine Beast Vah Epona: The Divine Beast that is a horse. Piloted by the Hylian Champion.
Divine Beast Vah Boko: The Divine Beast that is a boar. Piloted by the Bokoblin Champion.
Divine Beasts Vah Ursus. The Divine Beasts that is a bear. Piloted by the Moblin Champion.
Divine Beast Vah Leonis. Divine Beast that is a lion. Piloted by the Lynel Champion.
Divine Beast Vah Saurian. Divine Beast that is a serpent. Piloted by the Lizalfo Champion.
Divine Beast Vah Noctis. Divine Beast that is a bat. Piloted by the Gibdo Champion.
Kill Counts against AI based enemies do not count for being a Champion, Link, or Dark Link.
Death
Upon dying, another race within your faction must be chosen. Your other unplayed races will join you as avatars. The avatars can take damage and be defeated. Food can be used to heal Avatars. Avatars can be double teamed to use unarmed ability. Avatars have unbreakable stock weapons. Avatars can be healed with food. Upon the defeat of all five races, all can respawn. Upon your defeat you lose 1 of your weapons, bows, and shields for any surrounding players to grab. You will also lose 10 materials chosen at random.
New items Goron Bow: Normal arrows into fire arrows automatically.
Light Clump: Bliss Warding food. Poisonous to Zelda's faction.everything isthmus.
Armor of the Depths (Light Version): Bliss Warding armor for Ganondorf's faction.
Ice shoes: Freezes the ground with each step. Allows for walking on water and lava.
Iron Boots: Makes wearer heavy. Allows for walking on floor of water or to stay put in strong wind.
Cockpit: Zonai device that encases user. Possible uses can include the build for submarines. Also allows for shielding for vehicles.
Oxygen Tank: Zonai devices for extra air. Can be used for scuba diving or for additional air for submarine builds.
Gibdo Bow: Normal arrows turn into shock arrows automatically.

purpose:

Build a database of roms to auto import into playnite so when rom is downloaded it has all the data, it’s also nice to offline search what games are available to look out for.

How to do it?

1) use script to scrape a static site for rom names, this will then write to a database.txt file
2) second script will convert roms found in database.txt and make into shortcuts with correct name
3) third script names with exertion of rom file that would be downloaded e.g chd or iso
4) set up an auto scan folder in playnite for the platform of choice and select the folder where all the shortcuts are,
5) update playnite library and let it do the rest, after if you del these shortcuts all the game data will be there. So say shortcut is named “ssx3.iso” if user was to have the “ssx3.iso” in the auto scan folder it will then mark as installed. Other than that it will mark all ps2 games as uninstalled so user can see how many games are installed.

extra:

If scrape sites with links to roms, script will make shortcut to the url of the rom. If rename url shortcut to extension for playnite to scan then change extension back to url,
copy shortcuts to a folder in playnite dir E.g “playnite/system/Store/ps2” when scanning finished control all, edit, got to actions add one for ps2 emu. And another name it “downalod” untick as play action, set as script and put start-process “{PlayniteDir}/System/Store/ps2/{Name}.url”
If have portable fdm for each platform have “start-process “location to fdm portable” first then start-process “location to {Name}.url” wait 5 secs kill edge.exe
What that will do is, if a game not installed, click the box next to “install” and it’ll say download, on click it’ll open correct version of fdm then download the rom and close edge
I’d personally have different fdm portables set up so when downlaod done it’ll exit app, and set the download dir for each platform to “D:/Roms/PlatformName”
For legal reasons I can provide scripts I used to do this but users will need to input there own urls in script to scrape that site or sites for the roms ect. If devs okay this I’ll upload all 3 scripts and you can use yourself if not then you’ll have to make your own scrips but above method will still work

So, I just started playing Sons of the Forest recently and one thing that really struck me about the game is how involved and active the building system is, even compared to the first game. Placing down individual logs to build fences and walls, cutting out the doors and windows yourself, actually chopping your own firewood... really reminded me of those parts in Robinson Crusoe that are just about the more "mundane" things about survival. Unfortunately for me, I'm not really a big horror guy, but the game is very much focused on them. There's still plenty to enjoy and do for a few dozen hours, slowly building a very lovely looking base, exploring the island for new tools and materials, progressing the story and so on. I would still absolutely recommend it to people who aren't into horror and just wanna play without the cannibals (which the game thankfully offers very easily). However, it also got me wondering if there are any other games out there like that, where building a base isn't just quickly plopping down floors and walls because you've got 50 wood in your inventory. Closest games I could think of would be Medieval Dynasty and Project Zomboid. The buildings are unfortunately very paint by numbers in MD, so you can't really do your own thing like you do in the forest, but you do require multiple tools and can't carry a large amount of materials, need to upgrade the structure to keep out cold and stuff like that. And Project Zomboid leans very hard into the hardcore mostly-urban zombie survival, which isn't exactly what I'm looking for.
So, yes, please let me know if you know of anymore games where building is more active and involved. Doesn't have to be the exact same way as it is in SOTF, I'm just looking to put a little bucket list together to check out building systems that differ from the usual blueprint system in games like Rust, Ark etc.

Hey everyone! 👋
We are a brand new java minecraft server that just opened its doors to the public that is looking for admins and players alike! Currently its a one-man passion project with a team of friends for testing. Our community is peaceful and all-inclusive so long as you're a good person (and 10+ years old)
Our overall mission is to create that good ol fashioned, laid back, plot-baced towns and cities experience for our players but with a humorous magical twist. There is a wilderness world for going and gathering resources and the cities/towns will be in the main portal world. Players will have the opportunity to run their own towns, cities, and shops as well. Lastly - we do have vip and vip+ ranks for people who choose to support us!
Our plugins:
DungeonMMO
Worldedit
Voxel Sniper
Magic
Loot Chests
Plots
Sign shops
Executable Items
Essentials
Current mini games:
Scavenger Hunt
Dungeons
If you're interested in joining us and help build up an awesome community, the place to start is here:
https://discord.com/invite/nhChEYbA
If you aren't ready yet and just want to see where we go, check out our youtube channel for updates!
https://youtube.com/@gabagoolkingdomminecraft-bz3vi?si=FoPCz_aLTb6_nB66
Other social medias:
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@gabagool.kingdom?_t=8mXYWR56tlm&_r=1
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/gabagoolkingdom?igsh=MXFyY3NwNGlldHVjZw==
Planet Minecraft:
https://www.planetminecraft.com/servegabagool-kingdom-minecraft-serve
Reddit:
https://www.reddit.comGabagoolKingdom/s/U60DdSu0jP

Hi, I'm Aunali, I'm a mechanical engineer in Mumbai, current working full-time in Mumbai. I'm pretty much stuck in a rut in life, which I'm finding a way out of slowly and steadily and figured it's about time to stop living in the past and actually look for someone to share my life with.
I'm going to be brutally honest, because I know 25 might be early for someone to start thinking about future and shit, but I'm looking long term if we get along, maybe even go the distance. The entire concept of casual and we'll see how it goes isn't lost on me, obviously if we don't get along it's not going to work, but I'd much prefer if you were already in the mindset of trying something out for a bit before just waking up one day and carpet bombing the entire idea altogether. If it don't work, it don't work, but if it does, give it a chance to grow before making up your mind.
About me, fairly average, looks and otherwise. I'm 6', maybe a little taller, but height is no boundary. I've recently started going to the gym, just losing weight, no body building shit. I just got my driving license, so long drives are a go, full steam ahead. I love the sea, I spend as much time with it as possible, but the sea can't love you back, so here we are. I like reading, the habit dropped off for a while but I'm getting back into it, just light stuff, fiction for the most part. I love football, but I won't force it on you especially since my team is in the shits, so it's a sore topic and I prefer not to talk about it. I also love F1, which makes for much better watching when cuddled up, so I'm always down for that over the weekends.
I'm fairly vanila when it comes to TV shows and movies, I'm more likely to go back and re-watch something like Dexter or Breaking Bad than actually watch something new. If you're a fan of anything Japanese/Korean we'll get on well, because I play a lot of games originally made in those languages so I understand them well. Trying to get into their TV shows too, but only managed Squid Games so far. [Yes, I know I'm a basic bitch, but I genuinely am clueless in this regard. Recommendations are welcome!]
Music is a big thing for me, kind of a go to place when everything is going to shit. I have loads of playlists for loads of different scenarios, which I'm sure you'll enjoy even if it isn't exactly up your street. Cigarettes After Sex, Tame Impala, Lewis Capaldi are regular features, but there's also some Hindi/Punjabi sprinkled through for them window down, hair in your face long drives to subtly suggest a romantic undertone while I struggle to make a move because I'm too caught up in my own head about whether or not to do so.
What I'm looking for? Genuinely, nothing specific. Someone between 22-25 would be ideal, but feel free to reach out irrespective of age, it's just a number after all. Looks wise, I couldn't care less, if I love you, to me you're always going to be the most beautiful person in the world. I'd prefer someone who's open to communicate, even if you're not sure how to say what you want to say, just talk and we'll make sense of it. Like I said, I'm looking long term so I'd rather you're in the same mindset too. I know testing the waters is important, and I'm more than happy to give it time to see how things progress, but my request is you be willing to do the same or atleast openly communicate if in the first few days you realise this isn't what you're looking for. Honesty goes a long way with me, irrespective of the outcome.
Anything else, just hit me up and ask. No need for a long message listing everything about you, a simple 'hey' will suffice. If you tell me everything about you in the first paragraph, what will we talk about? 'he says after writing five paragraphs about himself'
I'm pretty much an open book as long as you ask me whatever you want to know, sordid dating past and sordid current state alike.
Like I mentioned, I'm looking for something long term if we do click, so it'd be preferable if you're in Mumbai. Long distance isn't out of the question, but as long as you're willing to provide some wiggle room for things to settle in before we evaluate where we are. I'm not saying I'll move to where you live within a month of us talking for the first time, but I can still come see you so we can spend some time together in person too.
I think this is enough ramble for you to make up your mind, if it isn't you know where to find me :)

Well i've already been typed as infp 6w7 but I've recently been pondering whether it's really something that fits me so I wanted to get other people's opinions on my typing.
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
— I'm 19 years old and identify as non-binary (he/they pronouns). I am extremely extra, I am eccentric, I love alternative styles, I love arts in all its forms, I am extremely sentimental, I can be considered strange to many, I talk too much, I seem extroverted around introverts and I seem introverted around other extroverts, I get tired easily in social situations, so I always prefer to talk more via cell phone or computer. I'm very extreme and I can end up feeling very angry, very happy or very sad out of nowhere, I usually try to be kind but I can be rude or insensitive if I'm very angry, I'm a person who really likes to fight for causes aimed at minorities since I'm from several minority groups, I hate injustice, I'm very stubborn and I don't like being contradicted while I always try to be someone who takes various arguments into account.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
— I'm autistic, adhd, i have gad (generalized anxiety disorder) and i might also have depression.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
— I grew up in a Christian family, which hurt me a lot when I got older since my family's religion is against my existence as a queer person, and it took them a long time to admit that I needed psychological help and things like that. It's difficult to leave my roots but in the end I ended up stopping believing in my parents' religion after everything I went through.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
— I'm studying animation design at college, it's one of my passions and I really enjoy learning about the topics, I just hate the structure of taking exams and tests.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
— I would feel crazy, insane. I need the company of some people close to me to regulate myself and talk about things I like, being alone makes me feel empty and strange. So yeah i would feel lonely.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
— I'm terrible at sports and I hate them, my motor coordination is horrible. I prefer indoor activities because there is less chance of me overloading myself with something (example: feeling unwell because of the sun, heat, etc.)
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
— I'm very curious, I love discovering new things, I have a lot of ideas at terrible times (in the middle of the night) and I really end up getting disorganized with the amount of things I think about. My ideas and curiosity are generally focused on creative processes like creating characters, universes, stories, but it can also simply be focused on a topic of interest to me (hyperfocuses / special interests). These are things that end up being more of a concept because I'm terrible at executing my ideas.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
— I don't like being the leader of projects and things like that for the simple fact that I'm not good at handling responsibilities, so I prefer to just execute some order, my problem is that I also really like doing things MY way so it's a bit contradictory. However, in the moments when I have had to be a leader (I was forced to since my colleagues didn't want to do anything) I haven't been a bad leader, I research the project topics and let people choose their topics to present.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
— I'm not good at being organized or at things that involve motor coordination. For example, it took me decades to be able to tie my shoe laces, know which direction is right or left and I keep forgetting important dates. I don't like using my hands to do activities because they shake a lot and so I'm always horrible at things that involve using my hands. The only things I think I'm good at are playing games and drawing, and even then, drawing is an extreme challenge since I always put a lot of pressure on the pencil when I'm drawing or writing.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
— Yes, art is something that I have loved since I was young because of the fact that I can express my creativity, ideas and feelings. I've always been passionate about cartoons so my drawing style is very cartoony. I really like seeing fanart from media that I love, but I also love seeing old paintings, especially from Roman and Greek times. I not only like drawing and painting, but I also love art in general. I love cinema, theater, books, sculptures, etc. One day I want to know how to write very well and be able to make books or even draw well enough to be able to make a cartoon. I want to be able to share the comfort I experience by seeing art that makes me feel happy and represented by doing something that also makes people happy through my art.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
— I have some regrets from the past, but in general I was more "normal" and happy back then, I wouldn't change anything because I follow the idea that my mistakes and successes made me who I am today. As for my present, I try to make the most of it but I'm not going to lie that I'm not a big fan of my current state, I feel a bit useless and very behind compared to most people I know my age so I end up preferring to think more about the future and how things will get better later. At the same time that I really appreciate some current moments of my present, like being able to play with my girlfriend most days, this makes me very happy.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
— I like helping people, sometimes I even try to help people who didn't ask for my help if they are people I really like (I may end up being seen as inconvenient because of this). I always want to be able to help everyone, but currently because of my mood I may end up not being very helpful as my mental health is not the best, even so, I always try to be very patient and friendly with people who are going through difficult times, even when sometimes I just want to be left alone and I'm not in the mood to help anyone, especially because I know what it's like to be in a bad place and i don't want people to feel rejected.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
— I'm very sentimental and I often don't think very logically BUT in arguments and other serious situations I need people to use logic and proven arguments just like i do in those situations so that the debate or serious situation isn't just a bunch of nonsense. I am a sentimental person, but to develop some thought, I need logical arguments
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
— In general, I think it's very important, but I personally can't be productive and efficient since I have a lot of executive dysfunction. I KNOW it's important but I can't be like that.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
— I like things to be my way but I don't really think I control people? I always impose my opinions a lot but I don't really control people.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
— I like games, reading books, role-playing, drawing and even trying to write books. I really like fantasy things. It seems more fun than my reality and I like to distract myself from real life things.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
— I like learning things when they involve what I like or at least are more interactive and I hate math, chemistry and physics btw. I have a lot of difficulty with classes in subjects that require a lot of memorization, I prefer things that are relative and interpretative like arts and literature and I really like classes that involve creativity. I also hate classes where the teacher just talks and talks and talks and doesn't do anything interactive and fun. I generally prefer to study at home for very short periods of time because I learn easier alone and study very briefly because I have difficulty studying for long periods of time.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
— I'm terrible at planning things, I usually do things at the last minute and I improvise a lot.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
— I think I get a lot of inspiration from artists I like, such as Rebecca Sugar, Tyler Joseph and others. They are very creative people who do things that I really like (I love Steven Universe, which Rebecca Sugar created, and I love Twenty One Pilots, which is the band where Tyler Joseph is the lead singer).
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
— My biggest fears are being alone, because it's scary not having anyone who understands you and who supports you and loves you, and being a burden to the people I love, because I don't want to be an extremely dependent and useless person and disappoint the people I love.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
— These are the days when I feel excited to do things and I can be productive doing everything I need in my routine as well as doing my hobbies and being able to relax.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
— These are the days when I feel sad, empty and discouraged, I can't do my routine tasks and I force myself to do them anyway in an extremely bad mood, my hobbies may even distract me on those days but it will be a strange feeling as if I'm not really excited to do what I like and I'm just distracting myself from my problems.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
— Ah, I don't have much attachment to reality and I prefer fantasy things, I constantly get caught up in my own thoughts and I prefer to create happy fantasy situations so I don't deal with my real problems. I'm also pretty distracted in general so regardless of whether I'm fantasizing or not I end up missing a lot of details and dissociating
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
— I would probably try to distract myself by thinking about things I like or talking to myself, depending on if the day was bad I would eventually end up thinking a lot about my personal problems and becoming depressed.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
— I'm very slow and indecisive when it comes to choosing things, I always want to gather as much information about each option in my mind or by researching on the internet about it and then I always end up between multiple options and changing my mind several times until I arrive at a concrete result.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
— Some of my emotions may be processed much later than they should have been processed or simply be different from what people usually have. For example, I'm not very good at dealing with grief and I end up not showing the sadness that my other relatives do, but generally I feel my emotions in a very extreme and volatile way. I feel happy for very silly things and when I'm happy I'm VERY HAPPY and I get sad very easily and when I get sad I get VERY SAD.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
— Yes. I really like demonstrating my opinions and being authentic, it's a very important thing for me, but even so, I sometimes end up just remaining silent or agreeing with something that I don't really agree with because I'm too afraid of being hated and I generally want everyone to like me, even people I'm not very close to. However, I can also be a person with very strong opinions and be very stubborn about what I believe in if it is something linked to social issues or linked to things that I REALLY like.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
— I break rules that I believe don't make sense, if it's something that I think makes sense I'll follow that rule, but if it's stupid and I don't understand why I have to follow it I'll probably break the rule. I've also never been a person who understands authorities, for me anyone has the right to question something if it's not a useful or logical rule. I agree that rules are important but that they can be adapted, eliminated and added if necessary for people.

I had a wonderful childhood. I couldn't have asked for a better one. My parents, brother, family, ... so much love in my life.
As I got older, I started to become exposed to the harsh realities of life. The people closest to me and the ones I loved the most started to get sick and pass away. I lost my dog. Life wasnt the same. And later, was diagnosed with Crohns which had a massive impact on my life and self confidence. I felt like a lab rat.. so many tests, doctor visits, medicine, diets, needles, ... eventually extensive surgery.
Luckily, after years of torture, I made it out ok. I started to build back my confidence, and was optimistic about the future. Before I knew it, I met the love of my life. I felt so extremely lucky to have you in my life. It felt like a dream. I felt that after all that pain and loss, I had finally had something good happen to me.
As time we on, we became best friends. You confessed your love to me, said I was different than all the rest, and you saw a future with me. You expressed how special I was to you. I felt the same way.
We met eachothers families, who became so close with eachother. I truly loved your family, they felt like home. My family loved you so much... my parents loved you like a daughter, and I knew you loved them too. We had everyone's support and love. We were the golden couple. We grew and experiences so much together. Bought our first house, saw the world, new jobs, school, ... Everyone was so proud of us, and we were proud of eachother.
Somewhere along the way, you started seeking outside the relationship for attention. I knew you were very social, so at first, I was happy to see you making friends. I knew you had a difficult childhood and past, and didn't have many good friends, so I was very supportive and encouraged you to do things with your friends.
We were inseparable. Always going things together, planning trips, going on adventures. Everything was easy. We enjoyed eachothers company so much. We made eachother laugh, feel loved, and safe. We were so comfortable and open, goofy with eachother, and always so intimate.
We shared a lot of the same hobbies: plants/garden, camping, trails, video games, movies, travel, outdoors, relaxing at home, ... it didn't seem to matter what we were doing, we were happy together.
I loved making you smile and laugh. I loved seeing you happy doing what you loved, or eating a meal I'd prepare for you.
I always wanted you to have the best. Since you were in school, I provided for you. Food, toys, restaurants, trips, ... whatever you wanted. I wanted to give you the world. It felt so good to make you happy.
You would tease me and hint towards wanting to get engaged. After 3 years, it happened. We were so happy, and you were so excited and happy to share the big news. We started planning our wedding, moved into a bigger house, new jobs, everything felt good.
I never expected to love someone so much. This young woman brought so much love, happiness, and adventure into my life. She completed changed everything. Everything was so easy.. effortless.. felt right.
When we moved into your dream home, things became more stressful. The house needed a lot of work, as well as the property. Regardless, we were willing and eager to tackle projects together and were excited to make things our own.
As time went on, and school/work seemed to become more stressful for you, I was left finishing a lot of our projects and maintaining them by myself. I also stepped up and started trying to take on more of the chores and responsibilities so that you could focus on school/work and still have time to relax. I was happy to help give you some relief.
After a few months, your brother asked to be our roommate for a time. I was hesitant, but you encouraged me that it would be a good thing. He would pay and help around the house. At first, it was nice. However, as time we on, it became more and more stressful.
The stress of doing everything and having a roommate that didn't mesh well with us overwhelmed me. I knew it was temporary, so I endured it.
One day, you came home from your new job and expressed what a good day you had.. that you had the chance to work with a different doctor, and that he was very fun and nice. I was so happy to hear it, since I knew you hadn't been having good days and people had been difficult. I was glad you seemed to have a mentor.
You started to have more good days than bad, working with this person more and more. You started talking to me about them more, sharing things you learned and talked with him about. As time went on, I started to feel a bit jealous. You had been spending more time with this person than me... your shifts were long, and I hadn't been seeing you as much. You started even talking to our parents about this person.
I started to notice you texting him while we were at home together. I'd ask, and you'd happily share whatever it was you guys were talking about. One evening, you were texting this doctor late at night. I approached you about this, and expressed how it was making me feel. I felt that it had started to become too much, and wasn't appropriate. I didn't like the idea of this older married man communicating with my young fiance so much. I expressed that I was happy that you had a friend at work, but felt that it was becoming too personal and inappropriate. You tried to reassure me that you were just friends, and that he was old and married, you would never be attracted to him. I stood firm and expressed that I would like for you to only communicate while at work, or for work related matters. You agreed and assured me it was nothing.
As time went on, I noticed you would sometimes hide your phone, turn it away, flip it upside down, or turn it off as I walked by. At first, I thought it was just me being paranoid. But as time went on, it started to mess with my head... otherwise, everything was good, so I told myself it was nothing. You started to enjoy that type of work and decided to join his practice. I was happy you were able to make up your mind and find something you enjoyed. Time went on. At some point, you needed an invasive procedure done... and you requested that doctor complete it. I didn't love the idea, but you preferred to have someone do it that you trusted. After that, the doctor seemed to be a thing of the past.
As the wedding date approached, the excitement increased. We had everything planned out and we were so excited for our big day. I saw how happy you were throughout the whole process. I couldn't believe our big day was right around the corner.
Our wedding was like a dream. Everything came together so nicely. We had the best night of our lives. I loved seeing you so happy with our friends and family there to celebrate with us. We went on a wonderful honeymoon and I felt so loved and appreciated.
Once we returned home, our roommate left, and stress started to decrease dramatically in the house. I was so relieved. You finished school, graduated, and I threw you a big surprise party to celebrate. I had always put together parties for all your special occasions, and I knew you really appreciated that. After so many nights helping you study, it felt wonderful to see you walk across that stage and finally finish.
You shortly after moved to a different hospital, and seemed to really like your new job and everyone there. Life was so good...
The house and our list of responsibilities and all the maintenance was still a lot, but I felt we were quickly starting to knock things off our list.
One week, you started working a lot... I hardly saw you that week. We'd always text and check in, saying we loved eachother, missed eachother, and looked forward to seeing eachother. When the weekend finally arrived, you had mentioned your best friend invited you to join her for girl time. I realized you hadn't seen her much lately and encouraged it.
That weekend, my grandmother had been struggling. I felt alone in our big house and had wished you were there. We checked in on eachother while you were gone. I was expecting you to return one evening, so I had dinner prepared. I was hurt when you didn't arrive and decided to stay another night with your friend.
When I saw you the next morning, I was feeling pretty down. I was already sad about my grandmother, but also felt like an after thought that week. You were so happy to see me, which was nice. We had a nice evening, spent time together, .. you never stopped telling me you loved me.
The next day after work, I got home, and you seemed so cold and distant. You seemed bothered by something. I checked in, asked if you needed anything, then went about my day. It seemed like you wanted space. I checked in every few hours, and you were busy doing something on your laptop.
I prepared dinner and started watching TV. I encouraged you to take a break, eat, and relax some before bed. You joined me on the couch, but was quiet and explained that you had some work to finish.
As it got late, I went up to bed. You explained you'd be up a little longer while you finished your work. As the hours went by, I thought it was so odd that you weren't in bed yet. I knew you had to get up early... sleep was always such a priority. I got up to check on you and to get some water. You were still on your laptop.. I noticed you were looking at rooms to something. I encouraged you to get some sleep. You joined me, looking exhausted.
We cuddled, said we loved eachother, then fell asleep. The next morning, I finished getting ready for work while you slept. As I was getting ready to leave, I sae your laptop. I decided to check and see what you were looking at... another air bnb for a trip? I was curious. We shared the laptop, so I didn't feel like I was invading her privacy.
I opened the laptop and saw apartments. I was so confused. I checker her email.. apartments. I noticed she had Facebook messenger up with recent messages. I checked... my world turned upside down. Those seconds felt like eternity as my heart sounded and my stomach sank. I read a message to a friend saying she wanted a divorce, never loved me, felt like a stranger in her house, dreaded coming home to me, ... that she loved a doctor.. he's married, but his wife is a lesbian. That was easily the worst moment of my life. I panicked and didn't know what to do... I was in shock. After a few minutes, I decided to address this with you.
I quietly walked up the stairs, sat on the edge of the bed, and calmly woke you up. You were sleepy, asking why I woke up.. you still had about 30m before work. I apologized for waking you.. As I looked at you silently, I started to cry. I quietly said "I know...". "I saw the messages". She looked back at me in shock.. eyes wide in the dark. I asked if she had been having an affair. She said no.. then started to look at me as if I wad a stranger. It was a terrible feeling.
You got up to get ready for work, and said we'd talk later that evening. You left. I was standing in the driveway and felt sick. I wasn't sure if I could make it to work.. but being at the house was making me feel worse, so I left. I didn't eat anything that while day. While at work, I prepared myself for our talk.
When we both got home, you pulled up to the house and started to pack some things while I sat on the couch. When you finally joined me, you were quiet.. asked about my day, I asked about yours.. then more silence. I asked what you needed from me. You explained that you were feeling very anxious, and didn't want me to get upset. You said you were going to stay with a friend for a few days to clear your head and wanted to talk once we were both rested.
You left for almost a week while I stayed in our big empty house, taking care of our pets, and completely confused and dead inside. I hardly ate or slept. I desperately started reading and watching whatever information I could find to help explain what was happening and to prepare myself. I spent most of my time thinking, reflecting on our life. I started tonrealize how stressed I had been... and thought about all the things I should/could have done differently. I knew I treated her so well, but no one is perfect.
Looking back, I started to think about all the red flags. Love is blind. I truly loved, trusted, and cared for this person more than anyone in the world. I thought she felt the same way... I never imagined us seperating.
I started to think of that doctor she used to talk about.. and realized she probably never stopped talking to him. I started to realize that my wife had stopped opening up to me... was no longer emotional or vulnerable... her emotional? affair started to kill the emotional intimacy between us.
I was happy just to have her in my life and enjoyed just being with her... she never expressed or talked about being unhappy... if I had known, I feel certain that we could have fixed whatever was lacking. I would have met whichever needs werent being met.
Were you lonely while I was busy working hard for us? Was she bored? I would have happily planned more outings... whenever I suggested something, you expressed that you were tired or didn't show interest. I knew you enjoyed time alone, so I never felt bad doing my own thing. I figured you would tell me of you needed or felt something...
I was so confused... started to question what was real. When did this all start? Why? How? Terrible thoughts entered my mind... so many late shifts, staying the night at the hospital, leaving early to get the air bnbs ready, ...
I also realized that towards the end, you had suddenly started to listen to different music, got a nose piercing, tattoo, talked about signing up for a sport, working out, ... these were all things I knew you had wanted to do for awhile, but it was all so sudden.
Why didn't you ever communicate... I recall you expressing your concern with my stress, but nothing else. I felt that my stress was reasonable considering everything I was doing.. and knew it was temporary. I didn't ignore it though. I saw a therapist, and started making changes. Was it all too late?
When we finally spoke again, it was so nice to just see you. We sat and you were so friendly and sweet - it reassured me that everything was going to be ok. We made small talk and joked, which immediately lightened the mood. You suggested I spoke first. I expressed my feelings and how important the marriage was.. that I'd so anything to save it. I took responsibility for my side of things and expressed the changes I had made and would continue to make. When you started, you expressed that you would always cherish our time together, but we're set on divorce. That we both deserved to be truly happy. Shortly after, you left.
The days after, you started packing your things while I was at work. I was living in a big empty house, every day getting more and more empty. I was a complete mess living in hell. Her family started to reach out to me and shower me with support, apologies, and disbelief. No one could make sense of this.
After a week or so, I couldn't take it any more, so I moved to stay with my parents while we finished moving out. I attempted to stay cordile through all this. You seemed so unphased and happy... texting me and talking to me like we were still best friends.
You explained that you felt bad for saying you never loved me... that you did, but not in the way a wife should love their husband. That it could be years, but in the future, I could count on you.
As time went on, and the pain increased, I was more distant. You texted more and more. Finally, I suggested that we limit communication unless she was interested in working on our marriage.
As the days went by, you grew colder and irritated.. I started to feel like the bad guy. I know you started to feel the weight of your decisons, and starred to project onto me. Making me the bad guy made you feel better. I attempted to end things on a good note... being helpful throughout the move out process, but you were so cold. It hurt so much... 5 wonderful years tossed aside like it never mattered.
I havent talked to you in weeks... I miss my best friend, my love, your family, our pets, and the wonderful life we built. I'm left trying to pickup the pieces. I feel so lost, confused, broken, ...
The tremendous amount of support I've gotten from both sides has helped a lot. I'm seeing a therapist, reading a lot, eating more, working out, and focusing on my self. The days are getting better, but I still have days where I am a mess.
I havent been sleeping well... always tired. Waking up several times, terrible nightmares and thoughts of you being with another man... I still have believe you would be capable of all this.. of hurting me so much.
I have urges to reach out to you... wanting to fix this, that there must be a misunderstanding... there are so many things I'd like to say. I got complacent and comfortable during our time together. I stopped doing the little things as often as I used to... I never meant to hurt you, make you feel lonely, unloved, unappreciated, ... whatever it is you felt. It's difficult for me to accept that my sweet innocent wife was capable of this... surely there was a reason?? I was just so caught up in my list of things... I was working so hard for our future.
I feel like my wife was manipulated by this man... why does an older doctor (20 years older) have a lesbian wife? He doesn't love her like she seems to think... he is using her. I feel sorry for her... I know there is no future there.
I've done a lot of reading on Attachment Styles, Limerence, love addiction, and other things that come as a result of childhood trauma. I feel like a lot of this has to do with her trauma... but also her selfishness and emotional immaturity. There is nothing I can do. I just pray she figures things out on her own, finds longlasting happiness, and puts an end to this cycle.
I would love it if we were able to reconnect in the future... I still deeply love and care for her. I don't want our story to end... none of this feels right. My gut is screaming that this is all wrong. I just know we both need to work on ourselves for the time being.
One day I had it all, the next, it crashed down before my eyes. Meeting you was the best thing to happen to me... you leaving was the worst. You rushed out of my life so quickly... I wish things were different.