i’m trying to plan the next year of my life just so i can start the grind of getting a good port folio together. i’m 18 and currently in college (uk) and next year i’m doing a art foundation course which is a year so it finished around june i’m guessing. i want to start as soon as possible because i will have to keep working alongside the aprenticship and i’m not sure how long i can keep being a potwash for and it’s definitely not so the sooner i can quit that the better. does anyone know how long it can take to get an aprenticship, how long i’ll wait for it to start, stuff like that. and any general advice would be great :) thanks

I submitted a piece of art to a local group show in my city, and was enthusiastically accepted "this piece is amazing for this show!" etc. The opening is in June. When I was dropping off the piece and signing paperwork, yesterday the gallery manager told me- "this is a 2 month show" which I didn't see mentioned on their website. I made an assumption that it was a one month show.
Here is the dilemma- last week I applied to a big, international gallery juried show in a different city that opens in August but if accepted, I need to have the work shipped to them by July 22. I thought that would be no problem since in my head the smaller show was one month.
Should I withdraw from the smaller show before it goes up"just in case?" If I get accepted to the larger show (that I paid an entry fee for) do I say "sorry I no longer have this piece/ it is not available any longer for this time frame?" The small gallery says work is going to be up until July 26. Would asking to take it down a week early be a huge faux pas? I could have a canvas print made, the same size as an original to replace it for one week, but would it be inappropriate to even ask? What if I withdraw from the smaller show and don't get accepted to the bigger one? I would probably feel bad about that. If I get accepted to the larger show do I decline? I would also probably regret that.
The smaller gallery said originals don't sell that well although I could have a print rack which is more likely to make some small sales. The larger gallery in the other city draws a wealthier crowd and if I could get a piece in front of their audience I would have a larger chance of selling it, although they take a 50% commission on top of me having to pay shipping costs to get my work to them. I will find out if I am accepted to the large show July 1. But that is after the small show is already up so I need to make a decision before then. I feel like I have made an amateur mistake and don't want to present myself as unprofessional/ disorganized. what do I do??

Hey all, my wife is has the opportunity to have a booth at our local farmers market/arts fair. If it goes well it will become a weekly occurrence. We'd like to be able to leave our car at home for this but the amount of stuff we need to transport far exceeds what she can move safely with our little trailer.
Our city is fairly hilly, so a trailer will need brakes and ideally a motor to assist. I've found a few cargo trailers sold in Europe but they aren't available in Canada.
Any insight?

holy shit holy shit its almost here. when that trailer dropped i cried. when the reimagined intro came out i cried. im at work just so excited. this is the game ive wanted for so long

Apologies for the long-ass post and any formatting issues as I’m on mobile.
Backstory: I graduated college 2019 and got a graphic design position at a small publishing company shortly after. All around, no complaints. They weathered covid well and ended up going full-remote in March of 2020 so I was working from home the majority of my career thus far. Early 2021 was promoted to Senior Designer. Mid 2023 I started getting antsy. Wanted more money, more career growth, etc. It’s a small company that operates on cash so they’re not the most competitive with salary but I was always happy with the people I worked with and bragged about company culture/politics and how they handled themselves during covid and with political shit all throughout. Fast forward to earlier this year, after applying to places here and there and never hearing back, I finally got an interview which turned into an offer. Before accepting I told the company I was at how much I appreciated them and loved working there and asked if they could be competitive. They offered an Assistant Art Director position to me that would be ready in a few months but the new place heard the offer and upped the salary to where my old place couldn’t compete (only a 2k difference but still).
Fast forward: I’m at my new gig and it’s….fine. I’m in office 9-5 with two other ladies (they are not designers). I’m working in the restaurant industry now trying to get some bars open and doing everything from logos to neon signs to window vinyls, etc. It’s all over the board and definitely exercises parts of my brain that went somewhat dormant while working in editorial for almost five years but I’ve had issues with the business itself. One of the ladies I work with is apart of the family that owns the company so she’s a partial owner and always has the news on, constantly talks about politics, trump, anti-trans, etc. It’s hard to bite my tongue but there’s no real HR to go to and if I did I know she’d just have a vendetta against me. On top of that she has snapped at me and talked to me in ways I’ve never been talked to in a professional environment and it was all because she misunderstood what I said. She apologized after but I couldn’t help but feel she had it locked and loaded and jumped at the slightest hint towards a reason to go off. Outside of dealing with people I don’t jive with, I hate the way they conduct business. The timelines feel made up and nothing is planned out, everything is “needed like yesterday” and so when we go to print stuff we push our printers and make them rearrange their workflow and their planned out schedule to get our stuff in and printed fast and it’s not uncommon that once it’s done it’ll just sit there for weeks, maybe even months before we use it. I’ve already had a printer come to me and tell me he’s no longer doing rush orders for us and the way we treat him is disrespectful and all I could say is “fair”.
Now onto where I need advice: when leaving my old place they told me to reach back out if in a few months i’m not happy and still interested in the asst. art director position. It’d be a 2k pay cut but my work/life balance would improve and I’d be around people I like and working with a like-minded company who respects our vendors and people we rely on. When talking to my dad he chalked up my complaints to “that’s just work”. I don’t want to jump ship if it’s because I have unrealistic expectations but I’m still early in my career and everything feels scary. I’m sure I could muscle through here for a year or two and find something else but the idea of going back is getting more and more enticing.
As design professionals what do y’all think of this situation? is it worth it to stick it out and beef up my portfolio with big names? (all the restaurants I work on are celebrity-affiliated) or would it be more beneficial to have the assistant art director on my resume and really just hone in on editorial design?

I wake up on Monday mornings and immediately head to the arch. I watch the sunrise in the park, then head home to get ready for work. On Tuesday and Thursday night, I make sure to hit the Zoo while rotating between the city museum and art museum on the remaining days. On Saturdays I usually lay in bed and think about how walkable TGS is. It’s pretty much New York. Then I head to the Muny for a show. I’m baffled what to do with my Sundays. Any suggestions?

2 kids 5,7
Tl:dr moved back Boston area 9 months ago after leaving for 2 years and already regret it, kids seem to love it. Is it wrong to move again in 2 years ( once debt free)? Our only family is in mass/Rhode Island
We are afraid of having our kids build bonds over the next 2 years with friends and family then taking it all away, again. Also her mother would be heartbroken.
We grew up in this area/Rhode Island. End of COVID we moved to Nashville and loved it. After 2 years we decided to move back because the inlaws retired and wanted a relationship with the grandkids, and they offered us free rent to get debt free. They own a duplex (live on first) and second floor was moving out.
Being back just reminded me how much I hated growing up here and the crazy cost of living. Everything is super expensive and Boston in such a hassle to access between traffic, and parking. It is also 45 min away give or take so not the closest.
Pros: Our kids love their school and new friends. My wife’s cousins went to the same elementary school and their 5 grade graduation class picture is on the wall. It was cute too see and kind of cool.
We see both sides of our family about once a month. It’s been nice for get togethers.
I see my brother an additional once a month, and we started playing racquetball on Sundays which I haven’t done since college so that’s awesome.
Grandparents live down stairs and have a huge yard so it gives us a break on weekends when the kids can just play outside or if we have to run they can watch them quickly.
My wife has mentioned she will be taking care of her parents in old age. So we may have to come back, her parents are 68 and 66 and currently pretty active
Although we don’t pay rent right now, we will start to in about a year since we can afford it and plan to pay whether we move or not so they don’t have to worry about finding tenants. Rent is only 900 when we do start to pay. market almost 2k.
We also put about 10k into renovating the upstairs apartment and now is a place we can live in for the next 5-6 years. Space wise. (1/3) of the house is being left to my wife plus almost 2 years total of rent free so we weren’t worried about putting money into it.
Cons: Cost of living, I can’t see myself ever buying a house here or in Rhode Island, they are old and expensive.
We travel 3-5 times a year and Logan is such a hassle, providence is great but typically a lot more expensive. Also flights seem more expensive than when we were in Nashville but that could just be the economy.
Weather sucks here feels grey and gloomy
People are so selfish here and mean, traffic everywhere it feels like.
Kids activities here just seem so unorganized and thrown together. I know they are kids it’s just for fun but I would want them to learn the right way. Soccer been a hot mess, flag football coaches were good but definitely busy and would squeeze a 10 min practice before games. Gymnastics have been awful here, we feel like they are treating our kids like a number not a person. We are moving our kids to their third gym after the summer. My son’s marital arts class has been amazing though.
YMCA here all seem old, outdated, and dirty. We’ve been to 3 in the area, they are in older buildings so maybe that’s why.
Income tax, I know it depends by state but still a con
I also work remote, and didn’t think it would be a con not having an office to go to if I wanted too. Sometimes I just need to get out the house and realize how nice it was to have the office 25 min away if necessary. Now I’ll go to the library if I need to but not the same.

Hello! i just got my acceptance letter from NTU English and I'm really excited about it! I had my interview yesterday with one of the professors! Rather than a strict interview, I genuinely just felt it was a chit chat session of enlightening and informative nature <3
I took combined literature in secondary school but didn't take Lit in JC. I did do pretty well in GP out of all my subjects and I love reading books so I thought English would be a good major for me. But of course, after not annotating books and poems for 2 whole years, I do have some concerns and questions(that i didn't manage to ask my interviewer)🫨

1. For those that didn't take H1/H2 Literature or has no literature background, did the introductory courses help to bridge the skills and knowledge of analysing lit?
   
2. Do you usually purchase your literature texts or is a pdf given to you? If you do purchase your literature books, around how much is it?
   
3. For the prescribed electives, on average, how many books are there per elective? or does it vary based on AUs (3 vs 4)? i'm quite interested in South Asian Lit and Modernism!
   
4. By having a Bachelor of Arts in English degree, what are the various industries have you guys interned / worked in?
   
5. Hows the exam structure like? Must you guys submit an essay by the end of the course or is it a group project?
   
6. How many courses/elective do you guys take per semester?
   

That's all the questions I have for now, thank you for taking your time to read (hopefully I didn't sound offensive or too blunt😅) I'm really excited abt joining NTU and I hope I get to learn a lot from ELH🫶🩶

So, volume two of My Favorite Thing is Monsters is finally out and I just got my copy from fantagraphics. It reminded me of a thought that occasionally popped in my head when watching CK, "Why haven't Jim and Ed ever covered this book?". I figured it was a landmark work and seems like it would be right up their alley with her being an independent artist and doing all the work herself, ballpoint pen art, etc. I was a Patreon and avid watcher but I have not seen every episode so I don't have perfect knowledge here... but from memory only I never once heard them refer to the book in any way.
Does anyone have knowledge to the contrary - them referencing the book on the channel? Or any reason why they never hit that book or artist? There's a lot of great books they never covered of course but that particular omission seems glaring to me and I figured I'd ask the question.

Hello! I'm 25F semi-lit writer. I usually write around 3-4 paragraphs, but I guess it all depends on a scene we're currently doing. I focus on emotions, thoughts and relationship building, rather than creating a complex world/universe. I write on Discord, preferably in 3rd person.
I've recently watched The Challengers, which was absolutely amazing. I'm looking for someone who will write a roleplay based on this movie. I'd love to do Art x Patrick (looking for Patrick)! I could also write as Tashi in both x Art or x Patrick, but please note that she is... Quite a difficult character. I'd prefer to write as Art.
When it comes to plot, I'm open to pretty much everything. We can start when they are still in college or start after the scenes in the movie. I think both plots sound interesting, but as I said, if you have something else in mind, don't hesitate to tell me.
DM me or comment, I will respond as soon as I can. Thank you!

This was my response to a person who wanted to manifest an ex back into their lives:
Everything begins with a thought. It’s all a thought. The problem with manifestation has different elements. 1) is your personality/popularity enough to garner souls in order to work for your thought? 2) is your ex’s thought more powerful than your thought? 3) does another entity have the same thought that you do about your ex, and desiring him/her? The art, because it is an art, of collecting souls in order to work for your thought, is important because it’s not only you, who will get your ex back to you. “Manifesting” things into or out of your life has become more widespread and difficult because more and more people are understanding how it works. Think about it, if few people understood manifesting people, money and possessions into their life, those things would be easier to obtain. The more people find out, realize, understand and utilize manifestation, the harder it is for us to manifest those items into our lives. Manifestation will be compared to a job interview. 100 applicants for 1 job. People are leaning about manifestation more and more and the teachings of it are more widespread because we want more and more people to understand, “hey, take care of what you have”, your job, your man/woman, your car, your home, your family. Because just like a high, sought after job spot, there are 100 people waiting to take your spot. That’s all.

One third announcement, one third update, and one third venting. That should about sum it up lol.
Recently, we’ve gotten a ton of people coming here to post their own unrelated artwork. Their own drawings that don’t have anything to do with Tumblr or even other social media. This has always been an issue, but the sub has been growing fast, so I’ve seen a sizeable increase in those posts lately from people who obviously haven’t read the rules. Or the sub description. Or even looked at the other posts on this sub.
I’ve been handing out ten day bans to people who post their own artwork (ie not art added to tumblr posts, just standalone unrelated art). People throw a tantrum and say that it’s not fair because “nobody reads the rules on Reddit.” Uh huh. I’ve had a 12yo call me a cunt for temporarily banning them. Not too long ago, a 15yo got mad about it, and when I told them to look at the other posts on this sub, they said “my drawings are better than all those stupid shit scribbles, you power-driven narc.” Which, I mean, I don’t generally like to shit on people’s art, but their art was most certainly not comparable to the stuff on this sub. And I’m just telling y’all about these things so we can ALL get a kick out of it lmao.
I work full time, and sometimes I can’t get to things right away. I also have Chronic Migraines and other health issues, so some days I can’t even look at a screen. But I remove stuff as soon as I can. Reddit introduced a new “automation”feature to help mods curate the content in their subs. It’s pretty basic. Bare-bones type of stuff. But I set up a couple automations yesterday. This includes displaying a reminder message when certain keywords or phrases are typed, and it automatically filters out those posts for manual review if someone submits a post like that despite the reminder. I also blocked posts containing slurs and bigoted terms. This feature doesn’t allow me to filter comments yet, but maybe they’ll add that soon. I’ve been looking into using the automod, but it looks like I’ll have to get on my desktop to request and program it. I want to implement a minimum karma requirement to limit the number of people who create Reddit accounts and then immediately spam their drawings on any half-related sub they can find. There’s no option to set that limit on mobile that I can find, so I’ll have to do that on my desktop as well.
Bear with me (notice how I didn’t say ‘man with me’ 😉) while I navigate this. The automations are a new feature, and it’s not perfect. But it’s something that I think can help cut down on the amount of unrelated posts here. If there’s a bug in it that you notice when you try to post something, please write in to modmail about it so I can check it out and adjust it as needed.
I think that’s it for now. Feel free to ask questions or voice ideas in the comments here, and I’ll try to respond as soon as I can.

Ok so as soon as I started this show I knew I wanted to come here when I was done to write about my thoughts but more importantly to get a sense of how this show was for people when it first came out. I get the sense that this show is very personal for those who watched it when it came out and so I want to start by providing some context of how I went into this show.
I am 23f, graduated from university last year and have been mostly at home since then working online. I had heard about girls when I was younger when it was coming out but never watched it or looked into it. But it was recently when I saw some fan edits and compilations of marnie antics on Youtube that I remembered the show and how it was about girls navigating life in their 20s. Great, I thought, I am a girl navigating life in her 20s maybe this is exactly what I need right now. Wrong! While I related to the general lack of direction each of the girls was experiencing, which I too have been struggling with, I spent most of the show being at best perplexed and at worst frustrated with the actions and choices of the characters, especially Hannah.
And I think that is at the core of what I want to understand about the show: are we supposed to like Hannah? If not like her, understand, sympathise or relate to her. I am someone who is all for unsympathetic or morally flawed characters because they explore the dirty parts of humanity and the difficulty of life. I was reminded a lot while watching this show, of Bojack Horseman who is objectively not a good person but while watching that show you see the the destructiveness of bojack's choices and actions, you see the effect it has on his life and those around him. I could never understand if Hannah was written in this way because as far as I could tell she experiences almost no repercussions for her actions and choices and the whole time I was wondering why. I can't list all the things I feel hannah was completely in the wrong for because I would be here for a long while but the ones that really shocked me was any example of her behaviour in workplace settings (especially when she was a teacher, how she was not fired is beyond me), her two day stand with that doctor and her brief but infuriating time at Iowa. This last point especially really frustrated me because she spends so much of this show talking about being a writer, more than actually writing and she finally gets the chance to pursue it and the thing that sends over the edge is a little criticism from her other classmates! Like is that not the whole point of joining a program like that and she was so rude to everyone and laughably unapologetic about it and then just decides to leave because it "wasn't right for her" and then the show just moves on from that and onto more drama with her and Adam.
I shall not get into the whole Adam and Hannah story because frankly I hated it. It started off with very bad foundations and I could never look past that and never see them as doomed lovers. However, surprisingly didn't hate Adam by the end of it, he was certainly a weird character but there was a certain charm to him.
Hannah's lack of consequences is especially evident when you compare her story to Marnie's. Marnie, I would say, is equally flawed as Hannah, maybe not the same flaws but definitely the same amount but you see where that gets her by the end of the show. In fact she has the biggest downgrade from when she started having a nice comfy job at an art gallery, a boyfriend a nice apartment to the end when she basically has no direction, a failed music a career and ex husband. I really did feel for her at times, but you could also see how her choices and outlook on life led her down that path. Meanwhile Hannah ends the show as a professor for writing! with a lovely house and a baby. Yes there are things that did not necessarily go her way but ultimately everything works out for her and she doesn't ever have to reflect on the many many wrong decisions she made in her life.
What also surprised me about this show, was how the friendship between the girls was handled. I say friendship very loosely because I truly do not think any of those girls liked or cared about each other and even if they did, they were all terrible friends. I ended up really appreciating the meeting they have at the end when Shosh basically cuts them out (completely justified in my opinion) and says they always make every interaction about themselves because that was the reality of the show. Marnie and Hannah especially spent so much time complaining about how the other always talks about themselves and their problems, especially with boys. This really disappointed me actually because I just assumed a show called Girls about four girl friends navigating their twenties in the big city would really explore the complexities of female friendships and ultimately highlight their importance. But all they did was fight and talk about boy drama until I wished they would just get new friend circles. I was honestly kind of excited for Hannah to be in Iowa because it could introduce some new friendship dynamics into the show and maybe reflect the toxicity what she has in new york but obviously I was wrong about that.
I think I could have maybe also enjoyed this show more despite its flaws if I found it funny. While there were times I had a chuckle here and there, but most of the time I was just cringing or just reminded about the frustrating nature of these characters, especially hannah. I am sure there were things she did that were played for laughs but because this show was grounded in reality, I just thought her actions were either cringy or wildly inappropriate.
I will end on a more positive note, on the things I liked, because I got through 6 whole seasons so there must have been things I enjoyed. Firstly, of the girls I loved Shoshana. She started of the show very sweet and lovely and welcoming and while she had that stint where she was just going through it and being rude after she cheated on ray (and never owned up to it). But once again, you see where those choices lead her and how she needed to step back and reflect and how she got to a point where she had to graduate late. When she moved to Japan I was so happy for her! That was another thing I really loved about this show, their depiction of Tokyo and Shosh's time there. I got to spend three months living in Tokyo two years ago and loved it! While I definitely had more knowledge and interest in Japan than Shosh before I went I still feel like it was the perfect place to experience when you're in your 20s. I felt Shosh's scenes there were very genuine and authentic and weren't too bogged down with the same tired cliches of tokyo. Even though she ends up moving back, I felt her time there really helped give her a better perspective of what she wants from life when she was back in New York.
Secondly, and probably the most surprising, I loved Ray. When he was first introduced as Charlie's friend I thought that he was kind of weird and gross especially when he wanted to snoop around the girls' apartment and read hannah's diary. But by the end of the show he was honestly my favourite character (which I think says a lot). His love of books and reading and art in general, the advice he gave the other characters, his little rants, his relationship with hermie (also loved hermie) and his motivation to do more with his life all grew on me to the point that I was just so happy when he was on screen. He was also just such a breath of fresh air from the chaos and drama of the other characters which is why I wasn't too crazy when he started having a thing for Marnie. That didn't really make any sense to me but at least he ended up with Abigail which was such a lovely pairing.
I recognise that this show is very much a product of its time and the fact that I wasn't in my 20s in the 2010s means that a lot of my experiences and outlook differ greatly from that time and affected how I watched this show. Which is why I really wanted to come here and hear from people who did experience it during that time.
TL;DR: Just finished Girls and want to understand what is the point of Hannah as a character and how did people find this show when it first came out.

Who am I?

I am a Middle Eastern 176cm guy. I'm an ambitious software developer, currently working on developing systems to improve a university's education! An amazingly fun job with extremely good pay! I am living in Saudi Arabia (UTC+3) but not for long. I am planning on moving out due to various reasons in ~2 years, once I finish my job contract that is. I'm planning on moving to northern Europe; however, I am up to discussion about that. As long as there are some nice job opportunities for me to provide a nice living, then I'm up for it!

My Personality

I am the quiet soft guy that is always trying to make others' lives better. I love solving problems. What I want for myself is what I give to others, I don't expect to be treated better than I treat others.
While I am quiet and reserved most of the time, when it's something I am really interested in, I can talk about it all day! I love having deep long discussions about all topics; Life is a continuous learning experience.
I consider myself to be logical and analytical. However, love is a human desire that I need to provide and receive. More on that later.
While I dislike arguments as much as the next guy, I am not looking to "win" arguments, but to find the root cause of the problem, then solve it together, whether the fault is mine or yours. Noone should be blamed, it helps no one, solving the problem is always the focus for me.
I also like to highlight that teaching is one of my passions, and I have a massive respect for teachers. While I am not a teacher officially, I have a natural ability to teach and deliver what might be hard to explain ideas to people, and I really enjoy it. My dream job is to be a teacher, but I have to say, the pay for teachers is very discouraging... I support giving teachers higher pay, perhaps even higher than surgeons! Surgeons couldn't be who they are without good teachers :)
I am as you might've guessed I am a tech enthusiast, but I also have a wide verity of interests as well! Some I got to practice, some I wish to explore, hopefully with you! They include but are not limited to: 3D Art, Space Exploration, Philosophical discussions, socioeconomics, plants, DIY and... Your own interests! I am quite experimental, and I'd love to explore your interests, who knows? Maybe it's something I'll be into, and we'll get to do it together!
I am ambitious, I have goals in life, most I may not achieve. Since I am interested in the DIY Scene, I like making my own things, I wish to develop and publish my own video game in the far future. I wish to design my own RC Plane, a fairly large one, perhaps fully automated? Long-term, I am thinking of making my own LOCOST car if the budget allows, whether I'd be able to achieve that or not I don't know, but I am certainly interested, and always inching closer to achieving them! Since I was a child, I also had a dream of becoming an Astronaut, I still have that dream but It's pretty unachievable, that's staying in the dream territory. But at the very least I want to witness a rocket launch! I guess I'm just the dreamer type...

What I am looking for

I would prefer someone who's mature, but still playful and fun to talk to! I want someone who supports me as much as I support them! I want someone who sees the potential in me and enables me and encourages me to be the best version of myself in front of them.
I was raised in a conservative environment; I believe in monogamy and lifelong commitment. So, someone who's believes in these things would match me. I am not in it to have a date or two, but a lifelong partner! I heavily prefer someone who hasn't "messed around".
As for Children, I am neutral and open to children, I am okay having future children, But I am also okay being childfree. I believe the decision to have children is on YOU! After all, you're the one who's going to go through the pregnancy/birth pains, not me... I would never ask my partner to go through that, but if my partner wants some, I shall provide with as many as you wish, after all I got a lot of stamina spend, haha.
I have no specific age-range nor ethnicity I want my partner to be part of, because the QUALITY of the person matters more than their age. I'm okay with large age gaps!

The Catch

I am looking for a Long-Distance Relationship for ~2 years then turn into a real-life one. LDRs are hard for many, I understand that, but that's my only option until I move. It highly relates to me living in a conservative environment. I hope you understand. The best I can do is voice/video chat until then!
Another thing is, I struggle a bit with romance and relationships in general, I have been lead-on and hurt too many times that my natural response changed to view things in a super logical, less emotional, and pessimistic... but I really want to be romantic and emotional! I want someone who is patient with me in developing emotions, encourages me to be romantic towards them, guides me to be open emotionally again, the best version of my romantic self!

Contact

Oh, you've reached this far? I'm impressed my babbling made you interested, I didn't know I'd reach this far haha! please send me a DM, or a message on reddit! A short introduction of you with ASL would be sufficient, we can pick it up from there! I am quite good at conversations even if I do say so myself! We can trade photos during the conversation!
Don't forget to add a 💚 to your introduction, to let me know that you read it fully!

This is for the guy trying to say not to give money to homeless people flying a sign. This my personal experience from being homeless in Wilmington. I can't say as I speak for everyone, just my experience. 

I'm still homeless, but I've moved out of Wilmington. I had to teach myself how to read and write all over again, and this is what I do now. I hope you enjoy.

 Six-thirty am, I woke up to my alarm. I had to be at work at nine, and I didn't want to be frazzled from being in panic mode on my first day, hurried, and hassled. No, sir. You don't get too many chances to make a first impression. 

 Rolled out of my sleeping bag with a smooth, well practiced motion, unzipped the flap, and made my way out into brisk spring morning air, taking a brief pause, taking in the natural beuaty of the forest. If it hadn't been for the sounds of the highway a few hundred yards away, this scene could have been from a camping trip or hike that I remembered from days gone by. I didn't pause to think about too long due to the urgency to find a suitable tree to relieve myself. Fifty feet, at least. Fifty feet. Otherwise, that smell could come back to haunt you. This wasn't a camping trip but rather where I lived. My homestead, abode, residence, shelter, and as far as I could tell, it would be for a long time to come. 

 I decided to drink my energy drink, which had come to replace my morning cup of brew, outside this fine morn, so I made my way back to the tent and pulled my Monster can and my half full box of handrolled cigarettes from their hiding places, turned around and walked the fifteen feet to my "visiting bench". Aptly named because that's where we all sat when someone came visiting, which wasn't very often, a few feet in front was the small firepit. A hundred or so yards beyond, down a respectable hill, sat Frankies tent, another fifty yards at the split in the trail was Chris's small pup tent, where a small pile of trash meant that Chris and I needed to talk. This was my site, and I had few rules, and trash was something I didn't want to see. 

 According to the rules out here, our social contract, the first person at a campsite was in charge and I had spent the last month of winter all alone here to earn the right to call the shots. After all, it was deemed The Allen Compound for the Criminally Insane by my friend who led a real boots on the ground street outreach in town, someone that I had insane respect for and not a small bit of love. We weren't. I won't speak to insane. 

 I took a seat on the bench, popped the top on the Monster, lit up a smoke, and took a big long pull of the drink. Spring was starting to show now, and the highway was slowly starting to hide behind the new growth of forest. My tent was already invisible from the road thanks to a large camouflaged tarp that I had strung to block the view once I recovered from the panic attack following the discovery of how visible it once was. That discovery came not long after I set up camp, as I was returning from town. Walking down the shoulder of the highway, I just happened to look up in the direction of my camp and saw that my tent sat in the middle of a big clearing of branches, making a perfect frame for my work of art. The realization that thousands of people could have seen that on a daily basis. I was live bait for any psychotic person or persons to visit on a full moon. Recalling the stories of people setting sleeping people on fire for the fun of watching a human cook, I instantly turned on my heels and headed back into town, a spy who just realized he'd been compromised. I didn't return until I had a tarp, but even then, it was some time before sleep came easy. 

 Seven am and the spring sun were now spreading its rays of love to its children in the forest undergrowth, letting everything know it was day shift now in the kingdom. Down below, I spied Frankie, who piled out of his tent and sprinted to a tree like his bladder had caught fire. At the sight of this, I barked three times in greeting. He threw his head back and made a rooster crow, knowing it would wake Chris up long enough to feel the urgency. And by the time I stood up finish the last bit of my morning nectar, sure enough, scrambled out of his tent and instantly let it go right beside where his head would lay when he slept. I shook my head and trudged to my place to change clothes. A light blue polo type short sleeve tucked neatly into my cleanest pair of jeans, then a long sleeve light flannel over that as a precaution, because a lesson learned early is that you dressed for all day. There was no going home to get a coat when the temps plummeted, so it was wise to have that coat ready at all times. I changed my socks, put on my shoes and out of the flap I went. I closed it up and placed a pine needle inside the zipper that would let me know when I got back if anyone had violated my space. 

Seven ten am, and I was on my way. I had fourty minutes to be at the bus stop a little over a mile from the camp and I didn't want to be late, so off I went down the trail, just past Frankies tent I took a left, pausing just long enough to notice that Chris had gone back to bed and left his flap door open, then another fifty yard and over the fence to what I referred to as the 'exposed zone'. There, I was out of the woods walking down a small trail hidden only from the waist down by overgrown weeds and grass. The exposed zone went about a hundred and fifty yards to the shoulder of the highway, where I would merge left, facing the oncoming traffic. At that point, it wouldn't be so obvious to passing cars that I had just emerged from the woods, and the exact spot would no doubt be a mystery. There, my pace stepped up to an average of four miles an hour, something that I had clocked many times, and these days, it was a knowledge that came in handy. I could deal with being homeless, but not tardy. Every minute I walked along the shoulder of the highway, I was fraught with danger, at least in my overactive brain. I could envision cars swerving to miss the car ahead and turning me into a hood ornament, or blowing a tire and taking me out when the driver loses control for that half a second. Maybe something would fall out of the many dump trucks that passed frequently at seventy miles an hour and cleanly decapitate me before I even saw it coming. Why not? It's not like I was having a good luck streak, let's be honest. 

Seven fifty am and I managed to make it to the bus stop with all my organs just where they should be and my head still attached to my body. I lit up a smoke and fished three quarters out of my pocket, ready to pay my way and go to work. The bus pulled up on time, and I climbed aboard, nodding to the driver in solidarity, one working man to the other, dropped my coins of passage into the box, turned and found an empty seat by the window. I watched as the scenery went from historical homes with their gates and carefully tended lawns to the brown crabgrass and dirt yards where the children played in poverty, then to the blocks of businesses where hopes and dreams were born and died, with their big banners proclaiming another last chance at big savings, or let you know that for the twentieth time this furniture store was going out of business and these prices wouldn't last. Nothing but a higher class of a carnival barker. Free financing, limited time only, no interest for ninety days, credit same as cash, act now, last chance to save, overstocked and marked down, employee pricing, never before savings, trade ins welcome, don't miss out, and my all time favorite, below wholesale. Imagine that a business surviving by losing money. The saddest part of it all is that these tactics worked on people. For the second time that morning, I shook my head. 

Eight thirty eight am and the doors open at my destination, my job site, half the bus stood up to depart. Standing up and slipping No. 7 onto my shoulders, I let the line shuffle past me with the knowledge that I had time to spare 

 Eight forty, I stepped off the bus, gravitating to have a smoke with a small group of like-minded people who nodded their approval as I approached. The signal that I was accepted in the circle of debauchery. I made it clear, though, that I had no time to make small talk because I had to go to work and I was a responsible person. On time, it was late, and ten minutes early was on time. That was my motto, starting now, at least. Eight fourty five am I started to the job site, feeling the anxiety butterflies come to life in the pit of my stomach. I had never done this sort of work before, and I hoped I would catch on quick. 

 Eight fifty am, and I was standing beside the exit lane of the Walmart Superstore on a patch of grass where the stopsign was planted, dropping No. 7 to the earth. I bent over and unzipped the section that contained the piece of cardboard. As I put my fingers on it, I felt emotions pour over me, a mixture of shame, embarrassment, and determination. This was my third try at this, but I was determined not to chicken out this time, so, choking everything back down I pulled the sign from my bag and turned to face the cars coming up to the stop sign so I could show them the story of my life, condensed down to some scribbles from a Sharpie which read, 'Traumatic Brain Injury' in large lettering, with a smaller, 'Please Help' below. I'd never felt so alone as I did in that spot light that day at Walmart, that my life had led me to this point, here with a sign begging for money from strangers to get things I needed. It seemed like I couldn't even breathe with my phone service cut off, as I still felt sure that my son would call me at any minute to see how I was, and knowing that life line was severed was unbearable. 

 A grey van with a logo pulled up to the stop sign and I heard one of the doors open, then close, so I turned around to see someone jogging up to me, holding out his hand with a twenty dollar bill pinched in his fingers, "Here you go, brother. Take care of yourself, my man, "then back to the van and was gone. 

I broke. Just like that. I broke.

So we have a on owner operator who has been working for past few months with us. Few weeks back he told us he will take a break until the 5th. I reached out to him on the 5th and no response, every day till Monday. On Monday he told my boss he will give trailer back, he's renting it from us. When he gets 5k on his account. What should we do?