Im a 31 year old female with endometriosis and ADHD. I weigh 45kg and 154cm in height. White, female, generally pretty healthy bar the endometriosis and physically active. Take ADHD meds during day and melatonin at night usually for ADHD related sleep onset issues.
Now on codeiene 30mg, Pregabalin 50mg x 3 times per day. Anti sickness meds from post op complications and suspected pudenal neuraglia.
I had a larsoscopy in January. My aterty was cut (unsure which bit likely a branch of lilo lumbar or espgatric) I bled into my pelvis and labia and crashed in the ward a few hours after surgery. I developed a grade 3 hematoma. The hospital discharged me with no follow up or aftercare plan so no one has physically assessed me since surgery bar my GP. My GP arranged an ultrasound 4 weeks post op to confirm blood has reasborded. I had a UTI around this time, which resolved. However the nausea, stabbing pains in hematoma site, reduced ability to open my bowels/bladder, reduced sensitivity on my left leg and labia have not resolved. My GP suspects nerve damage, and I am now on Pregabalin as a result to manage the burning sensation and pain in my groin. I can barely walk or sit some days due to pain. I've been on Pregabalin 2 months so fairly adjusted to it. It brings some relief.
However, Everytime I have a "pain flare up" my former hematoma site darkens and becomes bruised, this can be from as little as having sex or walking to trying to do more physical activity. This builds up over days until it is sore to touch and I begin to lose mobility due to pain. Opening my bowels and fully emptying my bladder becomes almost impossible, to the point I'm in agony just going to the toilet. I've started to manually evacuate (I've done this occasionally for many years due to IBS related to endometriosis) and notice how blocked my actual back passage feels, it feels like there is this bump pushing down into it from the part close to my vagina that I cant seem to adjust or move. I cannot tolerate insertion to my vagina that is at 12 o'clock (near my bladder) or six o'clock (near my rectum).
Yesterday I lost my footing due to trying to get off the toilet after weeing due to stabbing pain in surgery site after emptying my bladder. I noticed the entire area has developed patches of brown/blue markings, and I am experiencing loose bowel motions and today. The pain is so bad I can't sit anymore today and have been in bed most the day. My usual stretches and pain killers are bringing no relief.
My GP is concerned and has referred me to a urologist, endo specialist and rectal surgeon. My boyfriend is also a doctor (junior) and has no idea why the bruising appears and what causes these bad pain flares. All vaginal swaps and urine tests came back clear.
If anyone has any ideas or in this area, please let me know.

So the last couple months I’ve been dealing with what I thought was extremely somatic anxiety. Until I got some blood work done and it came back that my ANA levels were elevated. (1:160 homogeneous, nuclear) I have a mild family history of autoimmune diseases, my mom has lupus and my grandmother has celiac disease.
Over the last few months I’ve been trying to treat myself for the anxiety but I’m afraid that whatever is actually wrong with me I’m only making worse with intensive exercise and work. I’ve tried to fill my time with those things as a result I’m completely exhausted.
Symptom wise things haven’t gotten any better mostly it appears I’m suffering from neurological effects of whatever’s going on.

• patches of skin that feel like they’re burning
  
• nonstop tingling
  
• brain fog and confusion
  

-numbness

• twitching

But there are now some other things that have popped up causing concern

• joint pain
  
• random muscle aches
  
• a weird redness on my cheeks
  
• fatigue
  
• pain in my chest
  

I’m worried I’ve developed lupus and based on the extensive amount of reading I’ve done I feel like it has mostly ruined any sense of a normal life people have had. Furthermore as a single white dude, I know it is rare for my demographic, but I feel like it’s really gonna be hard. Like I don’t have anyone to help me, I’m supposed to be the one making life happen, providing and building. I feel like I’m losing myself and I’m real scared. My rheumatologist has ordered some more test I get done today but in all honesty I don’t think it’s looking too good for me. I get sick a lot more than anyone else I know like I at least miss a few days of work every month, I always just figured I was weak but now I’m starting to think it wasn’t my fault.

A couple of months ago, I bought a used OneStep SE in really good condition. It was my first foray into Polaroid, after shooting Instax Wide years ago. However, being that it takes SX-70 film and lacks an on-camera flash, I found that the camera was quite limited in terms of what lighting it would appropriately work in. With that, I considered getting a second Polaroid, one that takes either 600 or i type.
I was going to purchase a used 600 type Polaroid until I saw the new i types on sale recently. I figured I could also benefit from the slightly cheaper film.
But the film and the camera just wind up having so many other issues that I’m wondering if I’d be better off with my original plan of the 600 type cameras and film. Here are the issues I’ve found:

• Film having white streaks and marks from rollers, despite cleaning them regularly. I had an issue with the OneStep and the first cartridge, but cleaned the rollers once, and it’s been fine ever since
  
• Yellow Speckled Dots on film here and there (I believe this is an issue with the film itself)
  
• Camera battery lasted 7 cartridges, not the 10-15 advertised
  
• Brown patches, failed colour rendition with half the frame being a weird dark blue-green tint, etc
  

I don’t have any of these problems with my OneStep SE and SX-70 film, despite being limited in terms of when it can be used. Did I get a dud or is this a common problem with i type?

Out there - Patreon (for all those curious or wanting to support :))
At the Beginning
Adventure Arc - Arc 2
Wilderness Arc - Arc 3
Academy Arc - Arc 4
Nobility Arc - Arc 5
Previously on Leveling up the World...
The ground kept disintegrating in a five-mile radius. The number of point and line attacks targeting Dallion was so great that even the domain itself had trouble keeping up to protect him. Spikes would injure dozens, occasionally killing one or two in the process, but that would do little to hinder the mass of steel.
The noble with the steel tendrils slashed through the air, sending hundreds of line attacks in one blow. While each was individually weaker than those of a normal person, together they were a serious threat. It didn’t help that they indiscriminately sliced through soldiers on their way. The countess had no value of human life, least of those belonging to her.
Splitting into instances, Dallion combined a vertical line strike with a multi attack.
​
ATTACK NEGATED
VALORR’s attack has been sliced in two.
Attack has no effect.
​
Dozens of red rectangles blinked in and out of existence, though even they proved unable to stop everything. The solution was for Dallion to fly higher into the sky, even though that would make him a prime target. At the same time, it also gave him the possibility to perform an area attack of his own.
Taking a deep breath, he did a spiral attack aimed at the archduchess, followed immediately by a magic music attack. It would have been better if he still had rays of destruction remaining, but most of the clay cylinders had already been used up, and Dallion didn’t want to risk venturing into his realm to make more.
As expected, hundreds of soldiers leapt in front of their nobles, performing an array of defensive line attacks. None proved strong enough to stop the spiral attack, but managed to slow it down so that the only thing that reached Priscord were drops of blood.
“I’ve over ten thousand, in case you’re counting,” she said in an amused voice. “And that’s without counting the reserves. But should you somehow manage to deal with them, the emperor has entrusted me with several legions as well.”
The boast made Dallion think. There seemed to be more beneath the spite. While ten thousand awakened was a massive army, it wasn’t the largest, and it definitely wasn’t worth bragging about. With the exception of the archbishop, all conquerors had armies in the millions. Not only that, but while she claimed that the emperor had entrusted her with his legions, there didn’t seem to be any cloud forts in the air.
“Then how about I take them at once?” Dallion whispered.
A wide patch of ground beneath the archduchess and her armies suddenly fell through, creating a deep pit. The armies in full plated armor scattered, in an attempt to escape, yet less than a thousand seemed to do so. The empress, in contrast, didn’t budge. The horse she had mounted remained floating in the air, as if nothing had changed. Not only that, but magic threads had also extended, keeping the two harpsisword nobles in the air as well.
Harp, what’s that? Dallion asked.
It’s not a creature I’ve seen, the nymph replied.
Having Vihrogon here would have been better, although Dallion strongly suspected that the creature had been created, or rather modified, like the crimson furies.
Taking no chances, Dallion quickly closed up the enormous pit. Before he could manage, however, thousands of soldiers flew up, filling the air. A few hundred were squished by the earth, slamming together, though not nearly as many as Dallion had hoped.
“Living armor,” he said. How come he hadn’t noticed that before? Whatever magic there was in the armors, it had to be hidden deep inside. “They’re a bit smaller than I remember them.”
“The original creators had a lot to compensate for,” Priscord replied. “I don’t.”
A new series of attacks filled the air.
In the blink of the eye, the entire space was filled with instances. Even if the common soldiers weren’t able to split into more than twenty, that made close to a quarter million facing three hundred.
A moment of shock went through Dallion, quickly replaced by a new sensation—the thrill of battle and the desire to defeat everything thrown at him.
The archduchess had covered all the angles: echoes to grant her minions strategy, artifacts to give them flight. It was also noticeable that despite their low levels, their speed was quite close to a hundred—another magic artifact or spell that had been cast. Even so, there was one thing that the woman had forgotten: a thousand people with a thousand separate skills couldn’t compare to one who could manage a combination of all, especially within his domain.
“Countess,” Dallion shouted, deliberately aiming to irk her. Red rectangles flashed non-stop as line attacks canceled each other constantly. “You’ve never been to the Academy, have you?”
“No.” The archduchess retained her cool. “I never considered it worth anything much, even when I gained my current title.”
“Let me tell you one thing…”
Of all the remaining buildings, books and scrolls flew out of the shelves. Like swarms of insects, they amassed, flying from all directions straight towards Dallion. It would be several minutes until all of them arrived on the scene, but that wasn’t of consequence, especially for what Dallion had in mind.
​
DOMAIN AWAKENING
​
Reality shifted. It didn’t shift just for Dallion. In less than a second, everyone in the real world was transported into the realm of his new domain. In many regards, things were no different than they had been before. Here, just as in the real world, Dallion maintained control over the realm. There were also a number of differences as well. For starters, Dallion’s feet existed here, as did a host of area guardians.
“Goldy, get her,” Dallion ordered.
The golden colossus emerged from the ground, dashing straight for the countess. In contrast to everyone else, its strength and speed were considerably faster, not to mention it was immune to spells.
Not in the least taken aback, Priscord snapped her fingers. All the armors of her soldiers—nobles included—burst, increasing tenfold. Apparently, the living armors were also blooming items as well. Being taken into the awakened realms had boosted their size and abilities to a considerable degree. How considerable, would soon be seen.
“You disappoint me.” Archduchess Priscord yawned. “Did you think that I wouldn’t have a counter for this? You think you’ll impress me by being a domain ruler? I’ve fought in such battles decades before you showed up.”
“That’s not the reason I brought you here.” Dallion attempted to complete a guard sequence, but the attackers didn’t let him, always disrupting it halfway through. “As I was saying, the Academy is probably the one place in the world that has the largest number of physical books.”
At that single moment, a spark of concern emanated from Priscord. She had grasped what Dallion was going for, and by all accounts it was too late to do anything about it.
Scholar skills combined with music, spell craft, and attack, releasing thousands of aether quills from the hundreds of thousands books and scrolls that existed in the realm. Like deadly hail they ascended on Priscord’s army on all sides. The outermost layers of the army tried to block the quills’ advance only to be drilled full of holes, like bullets drilling through a rotten scarecrow. And best of all, Dallion didn’t have to worry about the colossus guardian, since they didn’t affect him in the least.
​
TERMINAL HIT
Dealt damage is increased by 1000%
​
TERMINAL HIT
Dealt damage is increased by 1000%
​
TERMINAL HIT
Dealt damage is increased by 1000%
​
Red rectangles filled the air like a sea of red. There were so many of them that they covered the entire sky, making it seem like a crimson sunset.
The sudden change in circumstances had forced a large part of the army to shift. Even with their boost, they still had to deal with the colossus, while also protecting Priscord from the aether quills. The momentary chaos created a single opening.
The harpsisword seemed to move on its own, slicing through two soldiers that blocked his way. The spark covered edge went through the massive armor as if it were butter, causing it to blast from the inside.
​
TERMINAL HIT
Dealt damage is increased by 1000%
​
TERMINAL HIT
Dealt damage is increased by 1000%
​
Two red rectangles emerged, after which the soldiers vanished as they were thrust back into the real world, their awakening powers sealed. That wouldn’t get rid of the echoes inside then, but at least made Priscord vulnerable here.
Thrusting his aura sword forward, Dallion cast a series of magic circles. Aether shards began shooting out, while chains targeted the nobles protecting the archduchess. To further cut off her support, Dallion pulled up the ground surrounding her, creating high cliffs. Unlike the other terrain changes in the realm, no one would dare attack these with line attacks out of fear of harming her. At this point, only one unknown remained—the horse.
Three of the nobles flew at Dallion, attacking him with their special weapons. Their armors, too, had blossomed into more elegant versions of living armor.
Bursting into instances, Dallion evaded the tendril sword’s attacks. At the same time, Gem flew in to meet the ax of another attacker head on. A loud cling resonated, pushing the aetherfish back, though by no means diminishing its determination. Meanwhile, Lux transformed the weapon he was inhabiting from a pair of bows to a crossbow, firing bolts of light at the third noble like a machine gun.
“Good work, guys,” Dallion whispered as he flew past, continuing towards his target.
I could take care of them easily, Gleam said, itching for blood.
I need you to keep an eye on Aqui, Dallion insisted.
She’s a great dragon! Even if she’s a cow, killing her won’t be easy.
Keep an eye on Aqui, Dallion said in a firm tone that quickly ended all protests.
A short distance away, the two nobles had combined their music skills, creating a shield around Priscord. Their skills were impressive, though nowhere near anything he’d seen in the former House Elazni. It was a novel use of their powers, though. Dallion made a note to experiment using in the future.
“Move away!” He shouted, using his own music skills, combining it with magic. His own music strands tore through the defensive mesh, striking both of the nobles.
​
PERMANENT EFFECT - PARALYSIS
IHIJON has been rendered incapable of movement for 20 minutes.
The status continues to be in effect in the real world.
​
PERMANENT EFFECT - PARALYSIS
AVIRA has been rendered incapable of movement for 20 minutes.
The status continues to be in effect in the real world.
​
That’s two down, Dallion thought, tightening his grip round the hilt of the harpsisword. Only one left.
Splitting into fifty instances, he unleashed a spiral attack right at the archduchess. His expectation was that the horse would transform into something and block the attack. No such thing happened.
Priscord herself leaped off the creature’s back. A one foot dagger appeared in her hand with which she slashed the air, performing a line attack.
​
ATTACK NEGATED
Your attack has been sliced in two.
Attack has no effect.
​
Huh? Dallion instantly performed a series of line attacks.
This was the first time he’d seen a spiral attack be stopped and in such an effortless way. There was no way this could be due to Priscord’s strength. Even if he wasn’t able to see her white rectangle, the woman’s traits were well beneath the hundred. If nothing else, she wasn’t an otherworlder and thus subject to limitations. It had to be some artifact she was wearing.
“Admiring my weapon?” the woman asked, as she kept on negating Dallion’s attacks. “It’s a nice trinket given to me by the emperor. One of several.”
“So, it’s your trinkets versus my trinkets?” Dallion asked, taking the opportunity for a music attack. To his surprise, the harpsiswords held by the paralyzed nobles played on their own, negating it as well.
“Yes.” The dagger glowed purple. “That’s precisely it.”

Hi y'all. I'm pretty much at my wits end.
I have a dermatologist appointment today but thought I'd ask around here anyway.
Backstory: I had eczema when I was really really young, honestly so young that the only thing I remembered of it was having a patch of it on my butt and my mom applying cream to it and then never really dealing with it ever again. She thought I had eczema on my face though it appeared as white patches and I vaguely remember this but for at least a decade or more I did not have eczema. My skin was perfect, genuinely so clear I didn't have to use much product on it.
Fast forward to November of 2019; I started taking hormonal birth control and noticed within a few months that I started getting eczema patches (also was having facial rashes but I thought this was due to trying out a new skincare) I went to the dermatologist who prescribed me Triamcinolone 0.1% ointment for my body rashes. I don't ever EVER remember using steroids much. I'd use it one to two days, and would stop when it starts to fade. Anyway my eczema was pretty lowkey in general and in 2021, we adopted a cat. I did notice my eczema worsening slightly ever since getting my cat but was managing with Triamcinolone (I think at this point my dermatologist prescribed me a tub of it I think December of 2021)
Again, I don't use steroid much and when I do I think it's really just for emergencies (my eczema was genuinely such a secondary aspect of my life I don't even remember much of how I managed it other than letting it ride and maybe applying steroid when needed). I remember the tub expired and I hadn't used even half of the ointment. I was also prescribed Mometasone and Fluoccionide? But I never used either of them as I didn't feel comfortable to.
In September of 2022, I caught COVID while overseas and it caused a pretty gnarly flare on the inner side of my elbows. Since I was overseas I just managed with moisturizing but I remember applying steroid when I came home. We adopted a second cat later this year.
Since then I think my eczema HAVE gotten worse, but there was a period of at least 6 months where I wasn't using steroid creams at all because I was either just dealing with it or it was barely there.
Fast forward to 2023.
I noticed a rash on the top of my right hand that I was initially managing with just moisturizing. But I remember having such intense itch on this rash that I kept itching, and at one point I itched with my shirt and it caused it to be infected. It was so gnarly, bright red, oozing, literally would not stop oozing, painful. I went back to my dermatologist 5 days later when I realized that oh this might be worse than just a regular eczema. She gave me Mupirocin and another tube of Triamcinolone (since my previous one expired) as well as a course of Doxycycline. I used the Mupirocin as directed for I think 10 days, and was not yet using Triamcinolone as I was worried about using it when it looked like there were still open wounds on it. I didn't finish my Doxy course because it was giving me horrible stomach pains. I came back to the dermatologist January 3rd and she told me it was OK to use Triamcinolone twice daily up to two weeks.
At this point I was already having eczema rash on my arms as well and some on my back but I don't think I was using Triamcinolone much on them (I'm pretty sporadic with using the steroid, I never really committed to the full 2 weeks)
Now, this is where things became a doozy.
January 5th: Caught strep, had difficulty breathing and had to go to urgent care. I was prescribed antibiotics, Prednisone (20mg, twice daily for 5 days), and Albuterol. I had asthma when I was younger and it's almost like it came back when I caught strep. My eczema was calm during this time and I thought it was because it rained a lot this week but now I realized it may be the Prednisone. Could not remember if I was using Triamcinolone as well on my hand during this time.
Sometime in early February: Went for a run and literally rolled my ankle so bad. Unrelated to everything else but my body sustained injury and looking back at old pictures I was starting to get patches of eczema on my legs.
Then I caught what felt like the flu in mid February and this is the first time my eczema flared to my face. My left eye was half swollen but at this time I thought it was from my sinus being blocked as it went away in a few days (though the rash stayed).
Early March: Got admitted to the hospital from Appendicitis. I spent 3 nights at the hospital and my eczema was literally non existent. No itchiness, just intense dryness but nothing else. I remember my friend noting my face was super dry but my rashes were slowly drying out. To be fair I was in so much pain the first day I was knocked out most the time from the pain medication they gave me and I was on a couple antibiotics due to the infection.
I came home from the hospital and this is when things start to really get insane. I got home, laid in bed, and immediately could not stop itching my neck and body. My face became swollen the next day but I was unable to take allergy meds because I was on antibiotics and had to wait for that course to be done. That eventually settled out.
I figured maybe I was having an allergic reaction to the cats (and thought maybe my mattress too, we had vacuumed it a few times and I suspected it disturbed the dust mites inside). I slept outside and on an air mattress for I think a few days, if not up to a week. The cats were still sleeping with me at this time and I was somewhat itchy but it wasn't the worst. Then I decided I was going to sleep in the bedroom again and this caused the worst flare I had ever ever EVER gone through. My face became so swollen, my left eye swollen again and it was oozing (this had NEVER happened to me before other than my infected hand) I don't know why this oozed since I never scratched my face, and my inner elbows, wrists and top of right hand got so red and puffy. At this point too my eczema on my right hand was starting to spread towards my palm. These areas also got pretty dry especially on my face. I called Teladoc Dermatology and they prescribed me Mupirocin for the oozing, Tacrolimus for the inflammation on my face and Triamcinolone for the body. He told me to apply Mupirocin first until the oozing calms, then stop and apply the other ointments.
At this point I had become SO SO SO terrified of TSW. It was all over my Tik Tok, my algorithm, I couldn't stop thinking and worrying about it and fearing that this flare is because I'm going through it. He told me to use Triamcinolone for twice daily for two weeks, then once daily for two weeks, then every other day for two weeks to help prevent rebound. I only used Triamcinolone twice daily for 5 days, then I did once daily for a few more days and by the time I saw my current dermatologist, I was using it every other day (I essentially tried to taper within the two weeks).
My current derma prescribed me Clobetasol and told me to mix 2oz of Clobetasol with 7.5oz of Vanicream or Cerave and smear myself in it once a day at night for one week, then once a day at night every other day for the second week. It was a very controlled instruction.
BUT I was SO afraid of TSW that I did not do this.
Instead, I took a one week break and I did 3 weeks of Triamcinolone, and even then I did it sporadically. I did about 10 days of once daily and then the second half I did twice daily. When I started doing twice daily was when I finally saw some improvements.
The problem is it has been a week since I last used any steroids and I have rebounded. Although my eczema rash genuinely looks so weird and I am having the dermatologist look at it properly today. My arms are constantly dry, my right hand (the problem spot since December) now have what looks like blisters on them and I never have eczema that look like this even though it's apparently common. The frustrating thing is that it feels like my eczema just keeps spreading. They are full body and it's freaking me out because it looks as if I have TSW even though I don't think I ever used steroids for that long at all, and I was only prescribed it back in 2020.
To be fair I thought I should've committed to the Clobetasol treatment because then we can see if the strongest steroid worked or not but I felt like I was going to flare again anyway and didn't want to use something really strong only for it to not work.
I had an allergy test done and I am allergic to both species of dust mites, dogs, cats, along with some other environmental things. I just don't understand why I am only now flaring uncontrollably like this. I am 95% covered in eczema. Either spots or just straight up long red rash. I am taking antihistamines daily and have been taking Probiotic pills pretty consistently (partly because I was on so many antibiotics back to back). I've been using Hyphocolorus Acid Spray as well.
On Sunday night, I tried to sleep over at my friend's place who did not have cats to test and see if my cats are my main trigger and I kept waking up itching myself, both my arms and legs and my chin and neck started oozing again. Which was INSANE as I did not itch either of them. The oozing on both have mostly stopped (I've only used Mupirocin and Vaseline to help control the infection and moisturize) but I just don't understand.
I'm scared, I have never had eczema become so severe so fast and I'm genuinely so scared. Something feels wrong but I don't know what it is. The way my eczema looks look like a combination of an allergic reaction and just a rash but I don't understand how I can have such an intense allergic reaction towards things I've been around all the time. We've lived in the same place since June of last year and the only thing I can think of is that we had the heater on almost daily in the winter and we found out end of April that our heater is incredibly dusty.
I'm getting my IUD removed next week as well as I'm confident birth control has something to do with my eczema coming back, and I plan to get allergy shots.
I'm just tired, it's consumed my life and it's causing me a lot of health anxiety. I look so genuinely terrible I can't even understand it.

Hi all.
I have been addicted to this Reddit since I was diagnosed with seb derm nearly 1 year ago. I would spend HOURS each week scouring the internet to find anything new I could try or what thing I should avoid to resolve my issues. I wanted to share my story with those out there who might be in a similar position I was in to offer guidance.
For a bit of back story/context - I had clear skin my entire life and never had any major issues aside from redness and occasional acne. I used a vitamin C serum a year and a half ago that destroyed my skin barrier. I tried everything possible to get my skin back to normal but nothing helped. I had white flakes from my temples to my mouth and my face constantly felt dry and tight. In areas around my nose and chin, I had small white sandpaper-like bumps that never went away. Before destroying my barrier, I had normal/oily skin that rarely needed moisturizer. I tried so many sensitive skin-safe moisturizers/serums but every single one broke me out or caused my face to become even more dry/flaky. I finally gave in after 8 months of struggling and went to a dermatologist who diagnosed me with seb derm. I was prescribed ketoconazole 2% shampoo, ketoconazole cream, and tacrolimus ointment. All of these things combined helped but it never fully went away. I still had flakes and dry patches all over my face. I kept reading about people who would say these products helped them and they only needed to use them during a "flare", but I never had flares, my skin was constantly irritated. After 2 months of little improvement my derm prescribed clotrimazole, but this did nothing for me. I went back to my dermatologist and was then diagnosed with perioral dermatitis and was prescribed metro cream. This, also, did absolutely nothing for me (I believe it was because I never actually had perioral derm). My last resort with my dermatologist was a 2-week course of doxycycline. After a few days, I still had the same tight/dry/flaky patches on my temples and mouth. After a week my skin was even more dry and I was experiencing the worst break out of my life. At this point, I cut every prescription ingredient out, started doing the bare minimum with my skin, and made an appointment with a different dermatologist. I threw out every product (which at this point, there wasn't much left) that touched my face/scalp that had any flagged ingredients on Sezia or included any SLS.
After doxycycline, I noticed my lash line was super itchy and I'd wake up with flakes on my eyelashes each morning. My skin was also breaking out every few weeks in painful, red, itchy bumps. My breakouts would be in places I never broke out and were very abnormal. Every time my skin would be clear for a week or 2, it would become irritated for the next week. I went to an allergist during this time to see if something I was eating/exposed to was causing my skin issues since I tried so many prescriptions without success. I mentioned the itchy eyelashes and abnormal skin problems and the allergist mentioned "could be Demodex" and didn't think anything else of it. I went down a Demodex rabbit hole after that appointment and learned about Soolantra/Ivermectin. My new dermatologist immediately prescribed Ivermectin 1% as soon as I explained my symptoms.
I'm on week 8 of 12 of Soolantra/Ivermectin. I've experienced minimal irritation or breakouts. My skin is the clearest it's been in nearly 2 years. I can finally put moisturizeproduct on my face and not break out. I can wear makeup without my skin looking like a flaky/patchy mess. I have no dryness/flakes. I am already so satisfied I can't wait to see where my skin ends up by the end of the 12 weeks. To anyone else who has tried so much or can't figure out why nothing works for them - consider asking your dermatologist about Demodex/Ivermectin.

In my opinion, the only people who say "open minded" are some of the most closed minded people I've ever met.
When people say things like "you're not open minded", it's usually people trying to force their own beliefs down other people's throats.
Some personal examples, 2 guys pitched me thier product for like 20 minutes. I wasn't interested so I said "yeah no im good". And they asked me if I knew someone who might like their product. I told my friend about it, but he wasn't interested even in listening to their pitch. The two guys said "oh he's not open minded?" In a pretty smaug condescending tone. A few days later I met another guy trying to sell me things, I also wasn't interested in this, but anyways I suggested this person to the two guys I mentioned. They very quickly shut off any interest in hearing the guy's pitch.
Then I met this Asian woman, I also heard her talk about being "open minded", but she would say that white people are very rcist and she would make fun of rligions.

Boker Solingen Barlow Prime Beech Wood (N690) - Black Beechwood, LNIB, comes with original box, unused, in perfect condition + Beard & Owl Solo Slip. Original owner. SV 100 https://imgur.com/a/ok85Um0
Kai Knives Anemone (80CRV2) - 6.25” OAL, 2.25” cutting edge, OD Green Canvas Micarta, some light use marks on blade, edge is still screaming sharp, scales are in perfect condition. Comes with COA, Kydex sheath and Kraken patch. Original owner. SV 100 https://imgur.com/a/FLUfDTd
Joey Roman Neckr (1095) - 7” OAL, 3” Blade, black micarta scales and brass hardware, some light use and carry and in overall great condition. Original owner. SV 150 https://imgur.com/a/f9HdqPX
Night Watch Knives Interloper (AEB-L) - 7.2” OAL, 3 1/8” Blade. Maroon Richlite scales with white G-10 liners. SV 300 with original sheath / SV 375 with sheath from Joe Fuu. https://imgur.com/a/k1mUWd4
SDK Reign - 7 7/8” OAL, 3.25” Blade. Denim micarta scale and thumb studs, titanium collar, backspacer and clip. Very light use and carry, no blemishes anywhere. Original owner, made 2/23. SV 975 https://imgur.com/a/d8D2E54
BP Customs Spark - 5.25” OAL, 2 3/8” Blade. CPM 154, 60 HRC. Original owner, light carry and even lighter use. SV 125 https://imgur.com/a/7KwTh4P
Delight Valley Blades Wayne - Copper Core and Bog Oak scales, CPM Magnacut blade. Original owner, light carry and even lighter use. Comes with COA, Original and Beard and Owl slip. SV 550 https://imgur.com/a/zp1V34M
Timestamp

so im back after about 3 years and back then a LOT of people thought cooking and playing the drums did NOTHING for the event. this could not be more wrong unless things were changed but doing the first meat week now and it seems to be working still.
on an even cooler / more important note. if you get on these spikes and start cooking BEFORE the event starts while that time is going you are still doing event stuff ( the white bar ) in fact if you have 6 people, 3 cooking and 3 on drums while the event time is counting down, by the time the event starts it is ether done or takes 15 seconds to do. THIS is the event where we want and love the AFK players who are doing this correctly. if photomode AFK still works psa to all AFKers get on those spikes and photomode afk ( again not sure if that was patched like pip boy afk )
lol so it lools like most people still dont knoe about drums or cooling or at least i my lobby. no one else is on these things with me

I've been a resident for 24 years now and I still cannot bring myself to like this city. If I can even call it a city. Besides the lack of greenery and decent people, I've got a few solid reasons - DHBVN cut off my electricity after we contested 43k electricity bill. Apparently they've been charging us an average since August since our metre was faulty. They installed a new metre sometime in Jan/Feb without any notice to us. It's only when we raised a complaint abt the bill that all these 'facts' were revealed to us. Complete lack of cooperation from the DHBVN folks. Very jat way of turning you away and making you feel helpless. Questions remained answered. Highly dismissive when we asked them about how they even calculated their average and their method of billing us since August 2023. No answers. The person stopped responding and kept staring at his computer. I felt so helpless.
After i raised the complaint, they send my application to Hisar and it'll be sorted and I wouldn't have to pay these inflated, baseless charges. 4 days later, they cut my electricity because the complaint wasn't fed in their system. I went again to sort it out. Not a single utterance of 'sorry for the inconvenience'. Instead I got 'jod toh Diya madam, aaur kya karru main.' I didn't want to aggravate the issue so I let my witty comeback stay inside. But lo and behold, yesterday they cut my electricity again - realised it after 2 hrs of no electricity. Guess the reason this time - they hadn't filled in my complaint in their system. AGAIN.
There's some water issue every week. Either the pipes are filled with air in the kitchen or the bathrooms, preventing the flow of water. Every month, we face days where inspire of the motor being on for 4-5 hrs, our tanki isn't filled up. Have to ration basic bathing routines. And I'm very careful with water wastage anyway. Sometimes, there's no water to flush after the morning poop. I've started filling up two buckets at night so the next day basic water supply is secure.
Next, I've got bloody current fluctuation in my sector. Or maybe just my house. The AC stops working. My treadmill out of nowhere stopped. The fridge has gone down a couple of times. No matter how many times I change that little white box that regulates the electricity supply, something or the other breaks down.
Let's move onto the third - there are no trees here. There are but not enough for humans to enjoy. I'm not saying build a bloody paradise. But what the hell - why is there always concrete in my vision. I've planted a few trees. Planted seeds when I was a kid and i see some of the them blooming but it's not enough.
Fourth. I hate the wedding seasons. There's a vacant space in front of my house and the residents use it for all kinds of functions. There's music blaring throughout the night.no curfew, no control. So loud that the floor vibrates. And wedding seasons are the worst. 20+ years of this incivility and I'm still not used to it. I don't think Im asking for too much if I ask for a curfew time. Am I?
Number five - the monsoons. Actually no. Rains anytime. Even if it's rained for 20 minutes, the roads will be clogged up. The drainage system is so poor. It takes a day and a half for it to clear up. Monsoons is another story.
I don't like the people either if I'm being totally honest but that's just my bias. They're interfering but so is 95% of this country. But I can't wrap my head around how they talk. It's pointed but not in a kind way. This is still something I can work around because I like politeness so I'm to blame for expecting it.
But everything else - I cannot. I also know I can't do anything about it. I'll vote but we know who's coming back to power. This is a grey, bleary city and the heat's getting to me. It's so grey. And not in the highly efficient albeit dystopian grey. Just ugly and gloomy grey. I loathe the roads too. Not a single smooth road until we reach the Jaipur highway.
All I can do it rant. And maybe, help myself feel slightly relieved.

VOUCHED SELLER. Paypal F&F, Venmo, or Apple Pay only. I've sold over 3000 orders on here in the past four years.
Ships from the California. Price includes shipping with full tracking and insurance within the US. Worldwide shipping with full tracking and insurance available starting at $9.99 for Canada and $12.99 for the rest of the world.
Items paid before 2PM PST will be shipped out the same day if possible.
Timestamp and tagged photo: https://imgur.com/a/R9ZPxFS
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CLOTHING
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Prad@ Corduroy Bomber Jacket
$69 SHIPPED, Size Small, Brand New Photos: https://imgur.com/a/bAd99gs
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Balenciag@ Backflip Hoodie
$59 SHIPPED, Size XS,Oversized fits like size Large, Brand New Photos: https://imgur.com/a/699ZOpA
Balenciag@ Distressed Tape Tee
$45 SHIPPED, Size S, Oversized fits like size Medium & Large, Brand New Photos: https://imgur.com/a/MA89OeF
Balenciag@ Distressed Surfer Tee
$45 SHIPPED, Size S, Oversized fits like size Medium & Large, Brand New Photos: https://imgur.com/a/Kt99H6F
Balenciag@ 3B Sports Icon T-shirt
$45 SHIPPED, Size XS, Oversized fits like size Medium & Large, Brand New Photos: https://imgur.com/a/cT2R3wa
Balenciag@ Darkwave T-shirt
$45 SHIPPED, Size XS,Oversized fits like size Medium & Large, Brand New Photos: https://imgur.com/a/3Ma0wzB
Balenciag@ Flames Tee
$45 SHIPPED, Size XS, Oversized fits like Medium, Brand New Photos: https://imgur.com/a/exQTlmp
Balenciag@ Sporty B Tracksuit Tee
$39 SHIPPED, Size 2, Oversized fits like M/L, Brand New Photos: https://imgur.com/a/5OzG4r6
Balenciag@ Unity Fleece Sweater
$59 SHIPPED, Size XS & S, Oversized fits like large & XL New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/9auxi9x
Balenciag@ Handdrawn Hoodie
$69 SHIPPED, Size XS, Oversized fits like size Large, Brand New Photos: https://imgur.com/a/QwOs9PQ
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Gucc1 Off White Mirror Sweaeter
$59 SHIPPED, Size Small, New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/9kCuZt5
D1or Atelier Embroidered Hoodie
$69 SHIPPED, Size Small, New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/zWj2sYb
Gucci1 Blade Logo tee
$39 SHIPPED, Size XS, Slightly oversized fits like Small, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/yedo975
Vetement$ SS19 Georgian "Enough" Elbow Cut Out Oversized Sweatshirt
$35 SHIPPED, Size S oversized fits like Large/XL, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/ZmyNFJj
Burb3rry Logo Patch Tee
$29 SHIPPED, Size S, Slightly oversized fits like Small, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/fnocur2
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JEWELRY
VC@ V@n C1eef & Arpe1s Alhambra Black/Gold Bracelet
$45 SHIPPED, Gold, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/fCIjDEl, Quantity - 4
Approximately 7.5 inches from end to end. Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green.​
VC@ V@n C1eef & Arpe1s Alhambra Green/Gold Bracelet
$45 SHIPPED, Gold, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/4ejzWeU, Quantity - 1
Approximately 7.5 inches from end to end. Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. ​
VC@ V@n C1eef & Arpe1s Alhambra Pearl/Gold Bracelet
$45 SHIPPED, Gold, Brand New Photos: https://imgur.com/a/YEYiahr Quantity - 2
Approximately 7.5 inches from end to end. Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. ​
VC@ V@n C1eef & Arpe1s Alhambra Silver Lasered Bracelet
$45 SHIPPED, Silver, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/vmdf9Kl, Quantity - 1
Approximately 7.5 inches from end to end. Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. ​​​
VC@ V@n C1eef & Arpe1s Alhambra Gold Lasered Bracelet
$45 SHIPPED, Gold, Brand New Photos: https://imgur.com/a/wQAQlGG Quantity - 1
Approximately 7.5 inches from end to end. Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. ​
VC@ V@n C1eef & Arpe1s Alhambra Gold/Diamond Bracelet
$45 SHIPPED, Gold, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/i37NTvx, Quantity - 1
Approximately 7.5 inches/19CM from end to end. Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green
VC@ V@n C1eef & Arpe1s Alhambra SilveDiamond Bracelet
$old SHIPPED, Silver, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/BXjMSYU, Quantity - 1
Approximately 7.5 inches/19CM from end to end. Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green.
VC@ V@n C1eef & Arpe1s Alhambra AmbeGold Bracelet
$45 SHIPPED, Gold, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/7ZrcDec, Quantity - 1
Approximately 7.5 inches from end to end. Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. ​​
VC@ V@n C1eef & Arpe1s Alhambra Blue/Gold Bracelet
$45 SHIPPED, Gold, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/ePmc2KY, Quantity - 1
Approximately 7.5 inches from end to end. Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. ​
VC@ V@n C1eef & Arpe1s Alhambra Black/Silver Necklace
$39 SHIPPED, Silver, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/OdKRyXU, Quantity - 2
About 18.5 inches from end to end. Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. ​ ​
VC@ V@n C1eef & Arpe1s Alhambra Black/Gold Necklace
$39 SHIPPED, Gold, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/IW1RouS, Quantity - 1
About 18.5 inches from end to end. Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. ​
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C@rtier Juste Un Clou Nail Gold Bracelet
$45 SHIPPED, Gold, Size 17, 19, Brand New, Quantity - 3
Photos: https://imgur.com/a/cXlgVw8 Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. Please refer to the size chart in the album if you are unsure about your sizing.
C@rtier Juste Un Clou Nail Silver Bracelet
$45 SHIPPED , Silver, Size 17, Brand New, Quantity - 1
Photos: https://imgur.com/a/Sh0G7wZ Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. Please refer to the size chart in the album if you are unsure about your sizing.
C@rtier Trinity Rings
$35 SHIPPED, Gold US size 8, 9, 10, Brand New, Quantity - 3
Photos: https://imgur.com/a/2VtQ88p Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. Please refer to the size chart at the end of the album if you are unsure about your sizing.
C@rtier Love Bracelet Silver
$45 SHIPPED, Silver, Size 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, Brand New, Quantity - 5
Photos: https://imgur.com/a/Atp2MYP Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. Please refer to the size chart in the album if you are unsure about your sizing. Comes with same color screwdriver to open and close the bracelet.
C@rtier Love Bracelet Gold
$45 SHIPPED, Gold, Size 16, 17, 18, 19, 21 Brand New, Quantity - 5
Photos: https://imgur.com/a/rswFuuM Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. Please refer to the size chart in the album if you are unsure about your sizing. Comes with same color screwdriver to open and close the bracelet.
C@rtier Love Ring Gold
$29 SHIPPED, Gold US size 7, 8, 9, 10, Gold, Brand New, Quantity - 4
Photos: https://imgur.com/a/dBqbbHM Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. Please refer to the size chart at the end of the album if you are unsure about your sizing.
C@rtier Love Ring Silver
$29 SHIPPED WITHIN THE US, Silver US size 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, Brand New, Quantity - 5 4
Photos: https://imgur.com/a/dBqbbHM Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. Please refer to the size chart at the end of the album if you are unsure about your sizing.
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V1vienne Westwo0d Pearl Chocker Orb Necklace
$39 SHIPPED, Silver, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/k9UY2Yc Quantity - 1
About 15 inches from end to end. Shorter style necklace. Properly branded. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. ​
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L*V Monogram Charms Silver Necklace
$45 SHIPPED, Silver, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/W6Up7p5, Quantity - 2
Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. Adjustable length. The ring in the middle can be taken off the necklace. ​
L*V x N1go Duck Necklace
$45 SHIPPED, Silver, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/m41FFcT, Quantity - 2
Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. Adjustable length. The ring in the middle can be taken off the necklace.
L*V Tiger Pendant Necklace
$45 SHIPPED, Silver, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/eVnGQg1, Quantity - 1
From Louis Vuitton X Nigo collection. Properly branded with engraving on the inside. Made with stainless steel and wont tarnish or turn green. Adjustable length.
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ACCESSORIES
Suprem3 SS17 Black Backpack
$55 SHIPPED , Black, Brand New, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/ZMpja4p Quantity - 3 2
Approximate dimensions: 19x11x7 inches. Fits up to 15/16 inch Macbook Pro in laptop compartment. Would fit everything you need for work/school, even for day trips. UTX hardware and YKK zips.
M0ncler Light Grey Fur Logo Beanie$
$25 SHIPPED, Light Grey, Brand new, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/p7ABfvZ, Quantity - 1
M0ncler Monotone Grey Logo Beanie
$25 SHIPPED, Grey, Brand new, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/ZtZNm6h, Quantity - 2
M0ncler Monotone Beige Logo Beanie
$25 SHIPPED, Beige, Brand new, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/UYiJiQr, Quantity - 2
M0ncler Black Logo Beanie
$25 SHIPPED, Black, Brand new, Photos: https://imgur.com/a/Mi1fYZY, Quantity - 1

I sit alone in my room on the seventh floor, writing what will surely be my last will and testament. The heroin which allowed me to forget and to sleep for the last couple of years has lost its power to keep the screaming terrors away. The drug destroyed my body and mind, gradually eating away at them like a corrosive acid. Now I have become a slave to it. And yet, without it, I do not sleep for weeks, but instead continuously see the scenes from that terrible night running through my head on repeat as worsening waves of madness crash on the shores of my consciousness.
In the caverns under the town of Frost Hollow, I found the meaning of true madness. Ever since I escaped that den of horrors, it is difficult to tell what is real and what is only the feverish delirium of an unhinged mind.
Even now, they wait behind the door to this cheap, bare rented room. They drag their claws over the wood. I hear them hissing in that strange, ancient tongue, the one I first heard in the tombs of rock that had been undisturbed for countless millennia.
***
I had first heard rumors of an unexplored cavern from my friend, an experienced caver named Sonia who had explored caverns all over the world. I had been looking for some excitement in my life, some break from the constant monotony and boredom of simply working and sleeping. I had gone caving quite a few times over the year leading up to the trip, but I was not nearly as experienced and had never explored a supposedly virgin passageway of cavern before.
“How do you know no one’s gone down there?” I asked, curious. We sat across from each other at a local diner, getting some early breakfast before our planned descent. The sunrise was still another half-hour away, the sky flat and dark. We would be joined by Sonia’s husband, Phil, who would meet us there shortly after sunrise. I repressed an urge to yawn, chugging half of the steaming hot coffee in one long swallow. Sonia leaned close to me, her nearly colorless blue eyes reminding me of chunks of ice floating down a muddy stream.
“Phil’s friend just found it randomly,” she whispered before glancing around conspiratorially, as if she feared someone would care enough to eavesdrop on a conversation about a cave. “Well, it’s in the middle of a farm, and Phil’s friend, Jack Graysole, owns the entire property and surrounding woods. Jack says he noticed the cows kept going over to a certain spot in the field when it got really hot during the summertime. They would all gather around this little indentation in the grass. After seeing it a few times, Jack got curious and went to investigate what the cows were doing.
“He found a small hole in the ground, almost entirely covered by weeds and grass. He said he felt a cool breeze constantly blowing out of the hole, a breeze that smelled like burning matches and charred metal. After bringing out some shovels and digging down a couple feet, Jack realized that the hole wasn’t a hole at all, but the beginning of a steep passageway leading deep into the bowels of the earth.”
***
The owner of the land decided to unofficially call the newly-discovered cavern Graysole Caverns. Out of respect for him, this is also the name we all used. This is the story of how I found myself in the bowels of a strange subterranean tunnel, a tunnel where creatures beyond my comprehension slunk and hunted, skittering monstrosities who would be more at home in a nightmare.
After grabbing a couple coffees to take with us, Sonia drove over to Graysole Farms. Cows stood out in the grassy fields, huddled in tight circles as they repetitively chewed. The thin silhouette of Jack Graysole waited for us next to the herd. He had a face like a raisin, I thought to myself. I watched his thin, shaking body standing in the middle of an overgrown grassy field. Jack stared down blankly at something only he could see. Sonia and I started unloading some equipment from the car while we waited for Phil.
Once we had the backpacks loaded with some simple supplies, such as water, food, headlamps, rope, a couple extra batteries, some buck knives, and radios, we headed over to accompany Jack. We weren’t taking much, as we didn’t really expect to be down there for more than six or seven hours at the most.
Jack Graysole’s withered old face was as slack and expressionless as that of a corpse. He stared down at the ground as if he were in a trance, waving back and forth slowly on his feet like a plant in a light breeze.
“Jack?” Sonia called out as we approached. I could hear the man’s teeth chattering as we got nearer.
“Hey, what are you doing over here this early? You interested in accompanying us down there?” Sonia joked. But Jack might as well have been totally deaf for all the reaction he gave. Sonia glanced over at me with an anxious expression. I wondered if the old man was having a stroke.
I quickly walked over to where he stood, staring down at a black circular hole about three feet across directly in front of his feet. The entrance to Graysole Caverns stared up at us like a sightless pupil. As I drew within a few feet of Jack and looked straight into his blank eyes, I noticed something alarming.
His pupils were quickly dilating and constricting before my eyes. They would shrink to tiny pinpoints, then, a couple seconds later, rapidly expand until they became dark and serious. I could see his thready, rapid heartbeat pulsating in a vein on the side of his temple. Alarmed, I reached forward and put my hand on his shoulder.
Instantly, he came to life, like a man waking up from a nightmare. Shrieking, he looked at me with fully dilated pupils, reminding me of a panicked deer surrounded by wolves. His quavering old man’s voice shook with ineffable existential horror and mortal fear.
He took a step back away from us, seeming to realize where he was and what he was doing. He looked around, confused, then straight at me and Sonia. His eyes focused with anger and fear, as if we were demons here to drag him down to Hell. His eyes flicked back and forth between us constantly. Jack raised a trembling hand and pointed it straight at my heart.
“It’s you,” he said, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. His teeth chattered despite the warm spring air. His skin looked deathly pale. “You’re the one who will bring an end to humanity, who will release the ruler of nightmares upon us.” He continued to point accusingly for a long moment at me, his face turning chalk-white. Then his eyes rolled up in his head. Slowly, he stumbled and fell backwards onto the soft grass of the field.
“Jack!” Sonia cried, running over to the old man. Jack’s breaths had started to come in slow, drawn-out gurgles, like a man with a slit throat trying to breathe. Frothy blood bubbled from his lips as they turned blue. Staring up at the endless expanse of cloudless sky, he exhaled one last shuddering breath and died.
***
Phil showed up only a couple minutes later. He found me and Sonia in a state of utter panic, both of us bent double over the still body of Jack. Sonia was on the phone with 911, and I was trying to give Jack chest compressions. The way his fingernails and lips shone with that cyanotic blue cast made me feel sick and weak. I knew it was futile, that I was simply playing with a corpse at this point, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt if I didn’t do something, I might explode.
I heard the faint wailing of sirens approaching as Sonia’s panicked voice continued babbling to the 911 operator. Phil stood by her side, his tall, dark features searching and lost.
“Oh God, I think he’s dead!” Sonia cried over and over to the operator, as if she thought the operator could do anything about it. I didn’t hear what the operator said in response. As the ambulance pulled in, I gave up on chest compressions. I stood up and took a step back, looking sadly down on the kindly old man’s dead body.
The paramedics ran over. Phil, Sonia and I stood back while they worked on the corpse, trying to shock the heart back into life. But Jack’s open eyes stayed glazed as they stared sightlessly up into eternity.
***
The paramedics left. A couple police officers stayed behind to ask us a few routine questions. Eventually, after an hour or so, they left, too.
“What a fucked-up day,” Phil said, shaking his head grimly. “Do you guys still want to do this? Maybe it’s an omen from God telling us to go home.” Sonia and I exchanged a glance, then we both nodded at the same time.
“Definitely,” she said. “It’s sad what happened to Jack, but realistically, we don’t know what’s going to happen to this property now that he’s passed away. It might get sold or taken by the bank for all we know. This could be our one and only chance to explore this cave.”
“I don’t believe in omens. I’m still down,” I said, feeling slightly sick from the experience. I still remembered how Jack’s body had cracked under the weight of my chest compressions, how his ribs had snapped like bones shattering in greedy hands. “We’ll do it in memory of Jack. I plan to put this up on YouTube.” I pulled my GoPro out of my bag, turning it on. Phil groaned at that.
“Do we have any idea how far down this cave goes?” Phil asked. I felt a sense of relief now that the topic had changed from the death of the old man.
“I sent a little camera down on a rope, but it only went about a hundred feet,” Sonia responded. “It’s pretty steep at first, then it levels out. I couldn’t really see much after it leveled out, but it looks like it should be easy to climb down. There’s plenty of handholds, lots of jutting rocks.”
Phil put on his headlamp and small pack. As he crawled down into the hole, his tanned face looked up at us and gave us one last devilish grin. Once he had gone down a few dozen feet, Sonia started descending. She looked excited and happy. I noticed how she couldn’t stop smiling as she disappeared from view.
I watched their lights grow smaller and dimmer in the circular tunnel. I marveled at how perfectly circular the entrance was. It almost didn’t even look natural.
Taking a deep breath in, I followed my friends down into the dark.
***
“This isn’t too bad,” I said as I climbed down. The jutting rocks gave plenty of handholds and footholds for us. It wasn’t so tight that it felt like a coffin, either.
“It only gets easier from here!” Sonia called up.
“How do you know?” I asked. “You said you’ve never been here before.” She laughed.
“I know. Probably just wishful thinking,” she said. Far below us, Jack’s voice drifted up, faint and weak. He had already reached the bottom.
“The tunnel really opens up down here, guys,” he called. “It’s somewhat… bizarre, though.”
“What do you mean by that?” Sonia asked. I looked down, seeing Sonia and I would reach the bottom in seconds. “Forget it, I’ll let it be a surprise.” I heard her drop down. Slowly and carefully, I lowered myself down the last few feet. There was a short fall onto a smooth granite floor. I looked up, seeing what Phil and Sonia were so mesmerized by.
“Oh, wow,” I said, speechless. I blinked rapidly, wondering if the image would clear like a mirage. The tunnel was cut into a perfectly triangular shape, each side about seven feet long. The ceiling met in a point above our heads.
All along the smooth walls of gray rock, I saw thousands of black orbs peeking out. They looked similar to obsidian, but they were perfectly smooth and circular, each about the size of an orange. They were formed into interlocking diagonal patterns and followed the tunnel straight down as far as the eye could see.
“What is this place?” Sonia asked, taking a tentative step forward. I looked up, seeing the distant pinpoint of sunlight far above our heads. Our voices continued to echo off down the massive tunnels, disappearing in eerie waves into the thick curtain of shadows.
“Are you recording all this?” Phil asked me. I laughed, giddy.
“Of course! This is internet gold right here,” I said. “No one’s going to believe that this isn’t man-made, however. I can’t even believe it. Do you think Jack was playing a joke on us or something?”
“Jack had the sense of humor of a wet paper towel,” Phil whispered, shaking his head. “No, he wouldn’t do something like this.”
“Well, let’s go check it out,” Sonia said, taking a step forward. Her headlamp bobbed up and down rapidly, throwing dancing shadows through the triangular tunnel. It continued straight ahead, without the slightest deviation or curve, disappearing off into a dark point in the distance.
***
We walked as fast as we could, excited to see where, if anywhere, the strange tunnel led. Phil, always the conspiracy theorist, babbled excitedly.
“This has to be aliens, man,” he said, running his fingers through his dark hair. “I bet that scientists will find out this shit is millions of years old when we get back up and tell everyone. Maybe aliens came to earth in ancient times and made a bunch of stuff underground.” Gradually, as we walked, I noticed the tunnel opening up. The pointed triangular ceiling rose up higher above our heads and the walls moved outwards, as we were walking up a triangular funnel. At first, it was so subtle that I didn’t believe it when Sonia pointed it out.
“No, look,” she said, raising her hand above her head. “When we first started down this weird tunnel, my fingers were only maybe a foot away from the top. Now it’s a couple feet.” I was about to respond when our headlamps illuminated something standing in the middle of the tunnel.
“What the fuck is that?” I whispered, stopping cold in my tracks. Phil and Sonia looked up at the abomination at the same time. Its back was to us. It stood nearly as tall as the tunnel, which was now about twenty feet high.
The bottom half looked black and spidery with dozens of long, jointed legs. A bloody, white spine rose out of the mass of legs. Inhumanly long, skeletal arms stretched out in front of it. Its face was pointed away from us, but the back of its head resembled an enormous pointed skull with deep fissures like the cracks of an earthquake running through the bone. The abomination stayed as still as a statue, and for a long moment, I wondered if we were looking at some macabre work of art.
Then, suddenly, one of its insectile legs twitched. A moment later, the other legs started jerking and twisting. There was a sound like bones shattering as it rose up to its full height, turning around to face us.
Its face was like something from a nightmare, melting and reforming constantly like dripping candle wax. I would see a black eye appear on its forehead, then a grinning mouth on its chin, then the features would get sucked back into the folds of melting flesh. After a few moments, two enormous eyes appeared on its face, dark and cold like craters on the surface of the Moon. The mouths and noses disappeared back into the dripping skin, and only the two lidless eyes remained, emanating a cold, reptilian consciousness beyond the ability of my mind to comprehend. I felt terror radiating from its body like freezing waves.
“Free me,” it cried in a gurgling voice that seethed with insanity. It had a shrieking, metallic ringing behind every word that gave it an alien quality. “Free me, and I will give you the waters of eternal life. Within me, I contain the seeds of immortality. Within the nightmares, we live forever, always together, never alone.”
“Who are you?” I asked, terrified. The black reptilian skin of the enormous beast glistened as it knelt down, its massive face drawing near to mine. A sideways mouth burst out of the liquified flesh, showing hundreds of fangs growing like tumors from its white, bloodless gums. The fangs varied in size from only a couple inches to long, sword-like projections that stabbed into the creature’s flesh, causing white blood glittering with rainbows to fall like raindrops all around me.
“I have many names,” it hissed, its thousand voices rising and falling in crashing waves of sound. “I was present at the beginning, when this planet was no more than dead cliffs and endless freezing oceans. Those holy ones who search for us, the ancient ones, call me Niralahoth.”
“How do we free you?” Phil asked, looking terrified. He held Sonia’s hand tightly.
“By letting me into your mind and body,” Niralahoth cried, shaking the cavern. “I was thrown down here, cursed and forgotten. I cannot leave this place of shadows within this body. But in the body of another, my consciousness can be free, and the seeds of new life can spread beyond this prison.”
“There’s no way anyone’s going to do that,” I said, my eyes widening as Niralahoth’s reptilian skull turned towards me in fury. “I mean, you’re asking one of us to give up our individuality, our lives, right?”
“I am asking you to become one with me and gain power undreamt of by mortals,” it cried. “I have within me the fountain of life, the waters that send death away screaming.” I glanced anxiously at Phil and Sonia, wondering if we would have to run.
“The answer is no,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, we can’t do that,” Phil said, backing me up. “But, anyways, I think our trip has ended. It’s time to turn around…”
“You will never return,” Niralahoth cried, skittering away from us. “If you will not accept salvation, then you must accept death.” Within seconds, it slunk away from us, backpedaling on its many skittering legs into the shadows.
***
All around us, a rumbling started.
There was a pounding that crashed through the rock tunnel, as if an insane blacksmith were hammering on a massive anvil. The ringing of crashing rock started off slowly, with a few stones smashing down around us with heavy blasts of sound. Within seconds, the cacophony sped up, rising into a constant stream of destruction. The black orbs were spinning in place all up and down the tunnel, their glossy obsidian surfaces flashing with sparks of blue light.
“It’s collapsing!” Phil cried, running back in the direction we came, holding Sonia’s hand as she tried to keep up with him. I could only stare for a long moment, not sure what to do. It seemed that the direction Phil was heading stood closer to total collapse.
“Wait!” I cried, but my voice was drowned out in the destruction all around us. I felt a rock smash into my shoulder, sending me down to my feet. I heard Phil give a scream of pain, then another stone came down and smashed into my forehead. I remember seeing everything spinning around me as the world went black.
***
I awoke to find my headlamp still shining straight up in the dusty tunnel. Large chunks of the tunnel had slid out of place and crashed to the stone floor. The granite chunks that had fallen looked unnaturally smooth, most of them in the shapes of cylinders or cubes and varying in size from that of an egg to that of a small car.
My head throbbed. It felt as if a tight belt of fire were wrapped around my temples. Groaning, I put my fingers up to my forehead. They came away slick with blood.
Slowly, I started pushing myself up on my feet. I was relieved that nothing seemed broken. I had a deep gash running from the center of my scalp down to my left temple and some shallower cuts on my shoulders and back, but I knew none of that was life-threatening.
“Sonia?” I whispered, my voice coming out weak and strained. I reached into my pack and found a bottle of water. I chugged it quickly in one long swallow.
“Phil?” I cried again, this time stronger. I heard a soft weeping nearby. Staggering, I followed the sound.
Sonia was bloody and covered in cuts and scrapes, sitting next to Phil’s prone form. I saw Phil’s right arm pinned under a massive slab of granite. His arm disappeared from the elbow down in a spreading puddle of thick, dark blood.
“Oh God, Max, I think he’s hurt really bad,” she wept. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly in his head, his face pale and bloodless. I looked down the way we had come, seeing the entire tunnel blocked by large slabs of stone, many with strange, black orbs peeking out like the lenses of cameras.
***
I don’t know how much time passed. My phone died after a day, and then we were counting the endless darkness in breaths and tears.
Phil swam in and out of consciousness as his arm putrefied and blackened around the crush site. After a couple days, Sonia and I agreed that something had to be done. We told Phil we would need to amputate his arm. He was half-delirious, but he came back long enough to understand us and nod weakly.
We made a fire with Phil’s pack, trying to find fuel to throw in it to get it roaring. As it grew, I saw one of the black orbs near the flames abruptly ignite, as if it had been covered in gasoline. Blue, almost colorless flames rose from its surface. We started throwing the small black orbs on the fire until it rose high in the air. I sanitized the buck knife with the flames and pulled a rope tourniquet tight around Phil’s arm. He was conscious but seemingly insane, talking to himself more than anyone else.
“How are we going to get the car started without a key?” he gurgled to someone only he could see. “We need to look around. It has to be here somewhere.”
“Phil, can you hear me, bud? We need to fix your arm. We need to get you out of this mess. OK?” I said as comfortingly as I could. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly, but they didn’t meet my own. I sighed and looked over at Sonia.
“Let’s do it,” I said, giving a grim nod.
I pulled the buck knife out, slicing quickly down through the flesh next to the tourniquet. His veins throbbed like fat worms as the blackened, necrotic skin split easily under the blade, releasing a rancid-smelling gas that hissed out of the wound.
I couldn’t believe how hard it was to slice all the way through the arm. It felt like I was stuck in that hellish task forever. Phil’s eyes rolled in his head as his skin turned the color of clotted milk.
“God, Jesus, make it stop,” Phil whispered over and over, exhaling ragged, pain-filled breaths. The blood spurted from the blackened, dying tissue all over the dust-covered cavern floor, covering my hands in its warm, slick embrace.
After what was probably only three or four minutes, but felt like hours, I had sliced all the way down to the bone. The infected tissue of his arm spurted great gouts of orange pus mixed with rivulets of blood. The hard part was over.
Standing up, I took my steel-toe sneaker and stomped down on his arm as hard as I could. Phil cried out in a powerful voice, as if all the agony and suffering in the world was contained in that one shriek. The bone snapped under my weight with a sound like a tree branch cracking. A moment later, Phil rolled away from the rock that had pinned me in place for so long. Something alien and spongy was shoved into my face, a mass of destroyed red tissue pulsating in time with a runaway heartbeat. At first, shell-shocked and revolted, my mind couldn’t comprehend that I was looking at the stump of Phil’s mutilated arm. I hardened my heart and forced the giddiness and madness to the back of my mind. The time had come to cauterize the wound.
“Sonia, give it to me,” I said with a tremor in my voice. I reached out a hand towards her, a hand stained with Phil’s blood. It looked as if I were wearing a wet, crimson glove. Sonia only stared blankly at me for a long moment, however. A surge of anger ran up my chest.
“Sonia, toughen the fuck up! He’s going to die if you just sit there!” I swore at her, hearing my deep, angry voice bounce around the caverns. Sonia pulled back, as if she were struck. Inwardly, I cursed having a woman as my only able-bodied companion in this situation. She was a competent enough caver, but what would happen if violence and blood came over us? What would happen if, or more realistically when, we needed to fight?
Grimly, Sonia leaned forward and yanked the burning black orb out of the roaring fire, handing it to me on the end of a buck knife that had just barely pierced its hard, strange exterior. The handle of the knife felt coarse and splintery under my filthy skin. I put it to the spongy stump of Phil’s arm. The stump twitched violently. Phil tried to pull away as black smoke rose from the burning flesh.
There was a smell like bacon sizzling. The searing meat of Phil’s arm blackened and crisped under the heat of the orb, which had become no more than a cylinder of glowing blue embers by this point. I felt simultaneously sick and giddy. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or vomit. I felt like I was on the verge of some kind of madness, that the stress and insanity of the experience had started to shatter my mind.
His eyes rolled back in his head and he appeared to go into a seizure for a few seconds. With a long exhalation of breath, he finally, mercifully, lost consciousness. It’s hard to admit it, even this close to the end, but a small, sick piece of me was jealous of Phil. Most likely, he would be dead soon, maybe within hours, while Sonia and I would slowly starve and dehydrate like animals over a period of weeks. I looked at her lithe body and soft skin, seeing the feminine curves of her hips and chest. She was a beautiful woman. I knew Phil to be a lucky man. At least, before this trip, he was.
I watched her body, wondering if I had what it took to eat her or Phil if I had to. Did I have an iron heart that would allow me to slice into my friends and consume their raw, cold flesh? Perhaps, by that point, it would be hunger and madness driving me forward, and I wouldn’t even hesitate. I shuddered at the very thought.
***
I fell asleep that night, having strange dreams of massive gods with melting faces sitting in judgment in a circle around me. We had very little food or water left. No one knew we were down here. Rescue was not coming.
When I awoke, I found myself alone. Phil had died from his injuries while I slept, the black streaks of septic shock spreading up his arm towards his heart. His eyes stared sightlessly up at the rock ceiling.
“Sonia?” I called out, my heart racing as I sat up. “Where are you?” My headlamp was growing dim. I looked in my pack, realizing I was on the last of my batteries. I saw a silhouette walking out of the darkness, the thin, pale form of Sonia. She was trembling badly.
“I saw them,” she said. “Niralahoth and its priests. The priests aren’t human. They look reptilian with sideways mouths and too many eyes.” She shuddered.
“Why would you do that?” I asked. Her eyes grew distant.
“You know we’re not getting out of here alive,” she said. “Not on our own. I wanted to see what it offered. It says that if we take a piece of its nightmare into us, we will gain the power to leave this place, that it simply wants to see the surface and spread its nightmares there.” I shook my head.
“Insanity,” I muttered. “We’d be better off dead.” Sonia nodded.
“My thoughts exactly,” she responded grimly. I didn’t realize what she meant until the next day, when I woke up and found her hanging next to Phil’s body, her tongue swollen and blue as it poked out of her cyanotic lips. And then I was truly alone.
***
Soon after Sonia committed suicide, the last of the batteries for the headlamp died. I had run out of food and had only a small sip of water left. I don’t know how much time passed in the darkness, starving and raving, following the tunnel by running my hands over the walls. I heard many things skittering in the darkness, and a few times, I heard the demonic voice of Niralahoth as it split and distorted.
“You are on death’s door,” it hissed. “Will you not drink from the fountain of life?” I couldn’t tell where the voice came from in the maddening blackness. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. I had lost nearly all of my sanity in that pit of shadows by this point. I tried laughing constantly to keep my spirits up, and when that failed, I simply cried.
“I’ll do it,” I wailed. “I’ll do it. Just let me see the sky again. Get me out of here, Niralahoth.” Everything went deathly silent all around me, then a laugh rang out like the grinding of glass.
In front of me, I saw a tornado of fire descending from the ceiling, surrounding the massive, spidery form of Niralahoth. It rose its skeletal arms upwards, as if it were Zeus calling down lightning. In the sudden brightness, I saw the fiery form of snakes slithering and centipedes skittering forwards in that tornado, each massive creature sculpted from flames in the spinning cyclone of energy. Niralahoth reached into the tornado of fire with its sharp points of fingers and plucked something small from it. The fire instantly dissipated. In its hand, I saw a tiny, swirling orb that looked like it contained a firestorm within it.
“The nightmare seed,” Niralahoth gurgled as it skittered forward towards me. I could only stare, open-mouthed and starving. I hadn’t slept for days, it felt like, and everything seemed slow and unreal.
In a blur, its skeletal arm shot out and forced the orb into my mouth. Despite the fire raging within it, it felt freezing cold. As it touched my tongue, it gave off a sensation like frostbite all throughout my mouth. I screamed and tried spitting it out, but it seemed to have a mind of its own. It started liquifying, dripping down my throat.
I felt something cancerous and sick spreading throughout my body, radiating out from my heart and stomach to every inch of it. I tried to scream, but it caught behind my teeth. I fell to my knees, clawing at my face as that insane, alien laugh continued resounding all down the tunnel. I fell unconscious and woke up under a beautiful sky in the fields of Graysole Farms.
***
Soon after, I realized that my life would never be the same. Everywhere I went, I could hear the wailing voice of Niralahoth. Behind the trees, I always saw skittering shadows, creatures with long, spidery legs that stalked me every day and night. I slept with every light in the house turned on, yet when I woke up, they would all be shut off, and I would find myself in darkness, next to something in the bed with far too many legs and a face that dripped like burning wax.
I sold everything I owned and tried to move far away, to give as much distance between myself and those cursed caverns as I could, but the nightmares followed me like a shadow. I realize what a fool I was in those ephemeral moments of madness. Sonia was much wiser than myself; I should have killed myself or died rather than allowing that thing inside of me.
Even now, I can feel it creeping through my heart, spreading through my blood. I feel it trying to crawl its way out of my throat, the thin, black legs peeking out at the back of my esophagus.
I only hope that, when I finally jump and feel my bones shatter against the concrete far below, I will kill whatever is inside of me. For I fear the consequences for the world if it were to escape.

I had chronic sinusitis for 2 years after a complication from wisdom teeth removal. symptoms were always pretty mild but CT scans showed my entire right sinus was full of goo. the doc did FESS on my right maxillary sinus to drain the infection and trimmed down some tissue to help with future drainage. a pretty limited procedure compared to many, but here’s my first week of recovery for anyone going through something similar!
day of surgery
• I made sure I went with an ENT/hospital I liked/trusted. originally had my procedure scheduled somewhere else but decided to switch last minute— very glad I did
• they had me show up 2hrs before the procedure and took me to my pre-op room. I got into a gown, socks, and hair net. they took some urine, got me on the IV, took vitals. my BP was a little high (probably from anxiety) but didn’t cause alarm. closer to the surgery time I asked them to put some drugs in my IV to help with that
• before surgery, I got to speak with a nurse, the anesthesiologist, and my ENT/surgeon. they asked me some questions and answered any questions I had. anesthesiologist looked into my throat to make sure he had a clear path for the breathing tube. (this was my first time having one of those so I was a lil nervous. all good— in and out while I was asleep)
• when it was time for surgery nurses came and wheeled my bed into the op room. they got me laid out flat. I was still conscious at this time so I had small talk with my doc and the team for a little. somewhere in the middle of that I was out— no breathing mask, no countdown, the IV took me out before i noticed.
• suddenly regained consciousness in what I think was the same room. it felt like coming back from a nap so naturally I kept my eyes closed at first. then someone asked me if I was ready to go and I said yeah, so they wheeled me to my post-op room. that’s where they brought my mom back to meet me (she had been with me in the pre-op room). they gave me a Sprite and some crackers to check for nausea.
• another nurse came in to give me a pain pill (hydrocodone) and my post-op packet. he took my IV out and told me I could get dressed. after I was dressed they sent a wheelchair for me and another nurse wheeled me out to my mom’s car.
• had some moderate pain for the first couple hours, but I took 800mg ibuprofen when I got home and I basically had no pain after that. a steady little nosebleed until I went to bed. some slight rasp/throat clearing from the breathing tube but overall not much soreness.
• took a hydro before bed and also 4hrs later when I woke up in the middle of the night. slept with my head elevated just as a precaution— I didn’t have that much pressure. had pretty broken sleep, inside of my nose became dry/painful from all the dried blood and being advised not to stick anything in there. nothing unbearable tho. put a hot compress on my nose for a few minutes and that helped enough to get me back to sleep
day 1
• no real pain or pressure in the AM. some mild discomfort from the dried blood at first. nosebleed wasn’t as constant and came out clearer. took 800mg ibuprofen when I woke up
• back to eating regular food. I only ate soup, crackers, and pudding post-op the previous day just to re-acclimate my stomach, but had no real food restrictions. just nothing spicy and whatever I felt comfortable eating
• started post-op treatment 24hrs after the procedure. used my steam inhaler as needed and started sinus rinses 2x a day (used Brita water for the inhaler and distilled water for the rinses). doc told me I was allowed to lightly blow my nose after 24hrs. only blew during my sinus rinse
• more congestion on this day, mild headache after sinus rinse. alternated between ibuprofen and Tylenol every 3-4 hrs. hydro before bed
day 2
• woke up with a little more pressure in my face this day. slept through the previous night without much issue
• no more nosebleeds but some blood and mucus while doing sinus rinses. during the rinses I had some yellow mucus and couple blood clots but mostly clear
• more tired on this day, took an afternoon nap. think my body was trying to get back into regular REM cycles
day 3-6
• same routine— pain pills as needed, steam inhale when I felt like it, and sinus rinse a couple times a day
• had some slight congestion and cheek pressure, but nothing all that different than pre-surgery
• sinus rinses were uncomfortable at first but got easier over time. some water would get stuck in my sinuses and come out sometimes hours later
day 7
• had my first post-op appointment/debridement. can’t even lie it was mad uncomfortable but on an actual pain scale probably like a 7/10. lasted only about 3-5 mins total. the camera was sharp, the area was still sensitive, and the suctioning was crazy to hear and feel. I also think the numbing spray gun malfunctioned so it certainly would’ve been easier if I’d been numb, but I did take two Tylenol before the appointment
• I’m doing the rinses for another week and then going for another post-op in 3 weeks
if you read all the way here I hope this helps!

[Part 1]
Day 3
I woke the next morning from the sunshine in my eyes. My head was resting ever so slightly on Eli's arm as we had both fallen asleep on my bed after I begged him to stay. I blanched in horror at the drool stain I had left on the arm of his white t-shirt.
I began to slowly move myself and retreat downstairs as the memories of the night before came flooding back. How I had broken, screaming in terror, and how Eli had saved me, not knowing the true reason he found me curled up on the floor crying.
As I stepped off the bed, my leg got snagged in the frilly bed cover, and I went crashing to the ground, making quite the noise as I landed. With a yawn, Eli's eyes opened, and I felt myself blushing as he turned to look at me.
We both kind of stared at each other for a moment, not speaking. Eli opened his mouth, then closed it again as if unsure of what to say.
"Coffee?" I asked quickly, filling the awkwardness of our situation.
"Please," Eli said, smiling.
In minutes, I had a pot brewing as I leaned against the kitchen counter. Eli was picking up the scattered photographs from the floor and looking at them quizzically.
"Why do you have pictures of the Harmons?" Eli asked, showing me the photos of the yellow-haired man and his family.
"Is that their names? I found them out in the barn under a blanket," I answered as I rooted around the cupboards for two mugs.
"In the barn? I cleaned it out just last week. No way I would have missed this trunk," Eli said while examining the wooden trunk with its simple rustic hinges. It was plain and unadorned with any embellishments. Basic as basic could be.
"Well, you must have missed it because it was there," I said, putting emphasis on the "was" in a way that reminded me of my mother chastising my father.
"That's so weird," he said, shifting through the photos while sitting at the table. I brought him a cup of coffee and sugar, and he began absentmindedly adding a lot of sugar to his coffee. About six scoops later, he began stirring and sipping it.
"Well, anyways, thanks for coming last night. I wasn't myself, I hope you know that I'm not some damsel in distress," I said quickly, like word vomit, and I even chuckled at the end, feeling like a total weirdo.
"What happened anyway? You didn't say last night," he said, putting the photos down in a jumble on the table.
I paused for a moment, considering how to answer. As I sipped my coffee, I stared out into the yard beside the barn where the scarecrow stood, glancing around the edge of the barn, hanging limply in his hole. His appearance once again sad and dejected instead of murderous and terrifying.
"I was just scared, I had a nightmare, and it just scared me," I said dumbly, trying not to turn crimson again under his intense gaze.
His eyes seemed to cut right through my lie, as if he were staring directly into my being before he simply glanced away out the window. We fell silent again, and I filled some moments by sipping my drink. It seemed to revitalize me; the sun and the company made me feel secure.
"Why were you here anyways?" I asked after a moment.
"I heard screaming, so I came running. I live just on the other side of the grass there, behind the barn," Eli said, pointing to the barn out the window.
"Must be really close, I didn't see any houses on the way in," I said, prying deeper into the situation.
"It's actually a trailer, maybe like two hundred yards from here. I was outside getting some air when I heard you scream. So, I came running," Eli said, finishing his cup of coffee and placing it in between us like a barrier, as if he was hiding something.
"Could you, uh, not do that?" Eli asked, with an uncertain grin on his face.
"What am I doing exactly?" I asked, startled for a moment, my stomach doing a sort of flip.
"It's just that you like stare at people. You've been staring at me for like my whole cup of coffee, I don't think you blinked the whole time," Eli said, averting his eyes shyly.
"No, I don't," I said until I realized he was right. I never noticed that about myself.
"Right, well, I've got to go. I am probably going to start painting today, so you might see me in a bit," Eli said, rising and heading to the door.
"Wait," I said, grabbing his arm for only a moment before releasing it like it was scalding hot.
Eli glanced at my hand for a moment, then at his arm, before he, too, blushed crimson.
"I just wanted to say thank you again. For last night, I mean. Well, what I mean is I appreciate it," I said, my eyes downcast in, for some reason, shame. Like he had seen me at my weakest and it weighed on my gaze appropriately.
"It was nothing, besides I didn't get much sleep with your constant snoring," Eli said, laughing at me.
"I so don't snore," I said, swatting at him but unable to control a smile creeping up onto my face.
After Eli left, I felt instantly colder, my eyes kept returning to the scarecrow. I grabbed my camera from upstairs and went out to the yard. I scanned the dirt for anything out of the ordinary. There was no blood, or anything on the dirt where the scarecrow stood just last night. I slowly made my way to the scarecrow, but nothing happened. I snapped a photo of the inanimate object, and it didn't even flinch. I poked it, but all I felt was straw underneath its clothes. I removed its mask, expecting a severed head, but it was just straw. Nothing was here but straw. I dropped the mask on the ground and took another photo proving it was just straw and nothing else.
An idea struck me as I regarded the source of my torment. If I planned to stay even one more night here, I needed to do something about this scarecrow. I rooted around in the barn, a series of tools hung from nails in the wall. On one hung what I was searching for. An old rusted shovel with a dirty wooden handle that was worn smooth from use.
I returned to the side of the barn beside the scarecrow, knowing for whatever reason this thing only came when night fell and didn't react at all when I moved or touched it during the day.
Before my morning coffee had even settled, I began to dig at the dusty earth, loose and easy to dig, it came away in shovelfuls. Within an hour, I had a fair-sized hole in front of me. Sweat dripped from my brow, and when I wiped under my eyes, they came away black from last night's makeup. Glancing at the field of grass and knowing Eli could appear at any time, I decided to head inside and shower. The hot water was a godsend, and I lingered for longer, letting the water drain down my head and back, my eyes closed, trying to forget the images from the last two nights. I should just pack up my car and leave right this minute. But how could I explain this to my family? I decided to go through with my plan and bury the scarecrow. I could last one more night if I prepared for it.
I left the shower and dressed modestly, in another one of my old rock t-shirts and a pair of shorts. I returned to the yard and with a satisfying push, I dropped the scarecrow into the pit. It fell with a nice thud, and I smiled at my power over it in the day; it's just at night when I should fear it.
As I threw the first shovel of dirt back on top, I heard a noise in the grass, and it parted, revealing Eli wearing the same pair of jeans and work boots, but he had changed his shirt to a plain black one. In each hand, he held cans of paint and a brush.
"Should I even ask why you are burying that old scarecrow?" He asked as he came to stand beside me.
"Probably best if you didn't," I admitted, leaning on the shovel.
"Well, I'm going to anyway. Polly, why are you burying that old scarecrow?" He asked, a rare smile coming to his face.
"Because it's been haunting me at night," I said bluntly.
"Mhm, yeah, okay. Fine, don't tell me. I've been meaning to get rid of it anyway, but normal people take things to the landfill," Eli said with a smirk as he turned to the house and began setting up for his painting.
I finished burying the scarecrow and stomped the dirt down flat. I finished my job by moving my car and parking it directly over top of the spot where I buried it.
Eli watched me curiously but didn't remark. I returned the shovel to the barn and went out into the yard. I decided to go for a hike around the property. I needed some time alone to think and unwind.
As I made my way through the grass, it began to confuse me. This had obviously been a large farmland, but how had the wild plants grown in such a thick, endless maze of greenery?
It gave me an eerie feeling, like I was being watched as the grass covered three-quarters of my body, like there would be something lurking out in the grass, crouched low, waiting for me.
After a half-hour or so, I came upon a clear lake, only big enough to be considered an old swimming hole, I thought as I dipped my hand into the cool water.
I took off my outer clothes and decided to go for a swim. I lowered myself in slowly and reveled at the cool water. The pond wasn't deep, but the water was clean. A small rope swing had been hung from a large oak tree that bordered the pond. It also provided a nice layer of shade that made it the ideal spot to spend the day. I floated on my back in the water for what seemed like hours. The day seemed to slip away from me. A small beach of sand sat at one side of the pond, so I lay out in the sun and closed my eyes. The warm day warmed my soul, and soon I felt myself drifting off into sleep.
I awoke to the sound of crickets and darkness. I couldn't believe it. I had slept through the day; the long nights had finally caught up to me, and now I was stuck far away from the farmhouse. I didn't know if my plan with the scarecrow had worked, and this wasn't the place to test my theory.
A full moon lay overhead, casting a silvery glow on the world before me. A sea of grass swayed gently in the wind, sending shivers down it in shuddering waves. I looked around, but I was thankfully alone, just the crickets chirping along melodically as my only companions.
I had to make it back to the house, so I started on my way, my hands trailing along the tall grass. The pale light played easily on the deep green grass. Step by step, I made my way back towards the farmhouse and the barn, throwing caution to the wind, and I started to jog along, anything to get back faster. I would have to find Eli; maybe if we were together, he could stop it like before.
If I thought the field was creepy during the day, by night, it was a whole new world. Every sound made my heart stop for a beat before restarting in protest. When all of a sudden, the crickets stopped chirping. I dropped to my knees, letting the long grass cover me from sight. Through the strands, I could make out a shape moving slowly through the tall grass, the swish of the plants as it made its passage through them. My heart dropped. Was this Eli looking for me, or was it the scarecrow come for me?
That's when I heard a voice, a voice cutting through the silence. It started off quiet and raspy as it sang an eerie children's song.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek
The world it claims that I be not clean
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
I was frozen to the spot. It hadn't found me, but it knew I was in the grass somewhere. Now, with each word, chewed up and spat out like it was unhappy with it, now it was accompanied by the whistle of something in the air and a slicing sound as it cut through the grass around me.
It finished another round of its song, but now it stood within feet of me, its blade whistling as it cut. I took a moment to ready myself, and as it raised its blade to cut through the grass I hid in, I dashed out of my hiding spot and slammed into it. But nothing resisted me; I fell through it like it was a ghost.
In a tangle of limbs, I landed hard on the ground and tried quickly rolling to my feet. The blade of its weapon pierced the earth beside me. Now I could see it was a two-handed scythe the scarecrow carried, but something was off, its hands were human. Pale milky skin like a newborn baby. I had little time to examine the creature except for the canvas bag over its head. Two large black eyes came out of the slits that leaked a dark red blood like tears.
It screeched loudly and swung its scythe, but it was slow, and I took off through the grass in the direction of what I hoped was the farmhouse.
I completely gave up all pretense of hiding and sprinted as fast as I could without looking back. The grass seemed to part for me as I ran in terror. I was just glad that in high school, I had taken track as it was paying off now.
I could hear the noise of footsteps behind me, but I never turned. I ran and ran until my lungs felt like they were going to burst Something silver flashed to my left, and I tripped over something hard and unexpected. The wind was driven from my lungs as my chin slammed hard into the earth. I scrambled back, trying to escape, but the scarecrow was on me, its blade flashing angrily in the pale moonlight.
I wanted to move, I wanted to fight, but my body was weak and unable to catch its breath, and I lay there helpless as it swung its scythe towards me. I closed my eyes in fear, but I only heard the thud of dirt before I opened my eyes. The scythe was discarded, and the scarecrow stood staring at me.
It seemed to be struggling with something, one hand reached out towards me only to be snapped back to its side. A roar of rage pierced the canvas sack over its head as it struggled against its invisible bonds. For a moment, I thought I saw something behind it, three sets of hands holding it back. One feminine in nature, and the other two must have belonged to children. In a flash, I saw a beautiful woman who looked vaguely familiar with her long brown hair and plain dress.
"Run," she moaned as the scarecrow swung around wildly.
I didn't hesitate and fled, my breath had returned, and while my body still ached from my fall, I powered on, knowing this was the only respite I would receive tonight.
In the distance, I could see a small sheet metal shape; Eli's trailer was slowly coming closer as I ran, and I beelined it for the trailer. I could hear the footsteps behind me again as the scarecrow resumed its chase after me.
I reached the old trailer and banged on the door as loud as I could; I rattled the handle, but it was locked.
"Eli, it's me. It's Polly, please let me in. Please," I begged as I banged over and over again on the door of his trailer.
Nothing responded to me, and the trailer was dark. The single window in the back held no life inside the trailer. From the trailer, I couldn't tell which direction the farmhouse was in the dark, so I fled into the tall grass and crouched low, watching the clearing around the trailer.
While I caught my breath, I watched the scarecrow enter the clearing, its scythe back in its hand as it circled the trailer. When its raspy voice began singing again low and quiet, only loud enough for me to hear.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek
The world it claims that I be not clean
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night, I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
The song made me shiver uncontrollably at the lyrics and the voice; it sounded demented like a crazy person letting their demons out into a nursery rhyme.
I lay perfectly still; for some reason, it couldn't find me. This creature I assumed was all-knowing seemed to have some very human weaknesses. It moved and talked like a human, even had certain body parts that were from a human; it even felt human the way it chased and reacted.
The scarecrow moved on through the tall grass, and I let out a sigh of relief as it lost my trail. How terrifying that beast was. In my pocket was the keys to my car. Eli had told me that the farmhouse was fairly close to his trailer. I had to navigate to the car, then drive as fast as I can away from this place. The fact that I hadn't left already because I was worried about money was insane. Who cares, I could drive to Barb's and demand my money back. Go home and just tell my parents the truth. The whole reason for actually leaving home this summer, why I was actually here in this field shivering uncontrollably in fear. But I couldn't think about that now, not now, there will be time to deal with that later. Now I needed to focus on staying alive, getting to the car, and getting out of here.
I went in the direction the scarecrow had; he knew the land better than I did, and every noise I made in the silence of the night made my heart drop. It took all my courage there and then to take one step forward, then another. I felt like I was going to be sick; my stomach was in knots to where it felt like even if I was sick, the only thing to come out would be only bile and stomach acid.
With each careful step, I made my way closer to the farmhouse and the scarecrow. Through the darkness, I could see my goal, the farmhouse, and the barn. Within minutes, I had made it securely to the farmhouse yard.
My car still sat in the same spot overtop of the hole where I buried the scarecrow. In the moonlight, I could see that the dirt had not been disturbed.
The scarecrow was nowhere to be seen, and I cautiously made my way to my car, my keys in my hand as I approached the driver's door. I hadn't locked the car, and it opened on the first try. I turned on my car as quietly as I could, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.
Something landed heavily on top of the roof of my car, making it dent inwards slightly. With horror, I saw the scarecrow swing its scythe into the back window of my car. With a crash, the glass shattered inwards; I put my car into gear and roared away down the lane. In my rearview mirror, I couldn't see anything, so I swerved back and forth, trying to shake the creature from the roof of my car when the scythe crashed in through the front window, making a hole just large enough for it.
The glass spidered, and I couldn't see out the window very well. I swerved down the road, but the scythe remained in the car, allowing the creature purchase. In a panic, I spun my wheel wildly, trying to dislodge it, but I lost control, and soon felt something crash into the front of my car. The airbag went off in my face, and I hadn't been wearing my seatbelt. I slammed hard into something else, and my vision went dark. I was in a daze; I must have passed out because I don't remember a lot of what happened next. I felt the car door open with a crunching tear, and it landed loudly as it was torn off. My body being grabbed and tossed on the ground. I felt no pain, just a gentle numbness. I felt blood on my head as I raised my arm to touch my face.
Then just blackness, complete, and empty just feelings, fear, unease, sadness. My eyes opened, and the scarecrow was overtop of me. Pain on my chest and my vision went dark again. Coughing as something poured down my throat. I couldn't breathe, why couldn't I breathe?
My eyes opened one last time, and I saw the scarecrow pouring a dark liquid from its mouth directly into my mouth and eyes. My vision was red and bloody before I closed them one last time.
The words of its song echoed into the emptiness of my thoughts.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek?
The world it claims that I be not clean.
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see,
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night, I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
The darkness enveloped me, and I felt myself slipping away, the sounds of the night fading into oblivion.
Day 4
When I awoke, it was morning, and I found myself lying in a hospital bed. My head throbbed with pain, and my body ached all over. The memories of the terrifying night flooded back to me, and I shuddered involuntarily.
A nurse entered the room, her kind eyes filled with concern. "You're awake," she said softly, her voice gentle like a soothing balm. "You're lucky to be alive. You were found unconscious by the side of the road next to your car. Do you remember what happened?"
I tried to speak, but my throat felt raw and dry. I croaked out a few words, barely audible. "The scarecrow... it attacked me..."
The nurse frowned, her brows furrowing in confusion. "Scarecrow? What scarecrow?"
My heart raced with panic as I realized the truth. Had it all been a nightmare? But the pain in my body felt too real, the memories too vivid to be mere hallucinations.
I tried to explain, to tell her about the terrifying creature that had pursued me through the night, but she only looked at me with concern, as if I were delusional.
"I'll get the doctor, and there is a young man who brought you in. He has been here all morning," the nurse said with a sly wink.
After a few minutes, she came back with Eli and a doctor, both of whom smiled gently at me through the window. The doctor came in first and went over my health with me. I had a concussion and bruises all over my body. A generous-sized cut from some glass on my scalp had been stitched and bandaged. My mind flashed back to the night before. How the scarecrow had filled me with its gooey red blood.
"Did you find anything else?" I asked cautiously, trying to avoid another scandal like with the nurse.
"No, as long as you have someone to pick you up and take you home, you are free to go. That nice young man out there said he would take you back home," the doctor said, pointing to Eli as he rose with a slight grunt.
I glanced at Eli, and he waved uncertainly at me. The doctor went out and began talking to Eli for a few minutes.
While I waited, my mind began to have strange thoughts. Something was wrong; I felt weird. My vision turned red, and I began to see images before my eyes.
The Harmons. They flashed before my eyes in real-time—the husband hugging his wife, then swinging his kids around, chopping wood outback next to the barn while his wife cooked in the kitchen.
As Eli entered the room, the visions stopped suddenly. Like my saving angel for the third time now, I was extremely grateful to Eli.
"Heyyyyy," Eli said, elongating the word in a sort of familiar yet awkward way.
"Hi," I said, closing my eyes and letting my embarrassment pass in only a few seconds.
"Why is it that fifty percent of the times we meet, you're in serious trouble?" Eli asked, coming to sit on the edge of my bed.
"Oh, you know me, bad luck, I guess," I said simply, becoming aware that under my blankets, I was in a backless hospital gown, and he was inches away from me.
I pulled the blanket up to my chin as a sort of cover for my appearance, but Eli didn't seem to notice. He continued talking to me. It was actually really sweet the way he seemed to care for me.
"Anyways, the doctor said I could take you back to the farmhouse to rest," Eli said.
"No," I said suddenly, becoming serious.
"What? Why not?" Eli asked.
"I just, I just can't right now. I'll tell you later. Just, we can't spend the night anywhere near the farm," I said, grabbing him by the arm, hoping to sway him.
"Well, I mean, if you want, we can grab your stuff, and my house can literally go anywhere," Eli said in an offhand manner, as if he had expected this.
"Promise?" I asked, trying not to seem too afraid.
Within the hour, we had returned to the farmhouse. The hole I dug was still covered over, and I stared at it as we parked in Eli's black pickup truck.
I ran inside and quickly got changed into my only clean clothes, grabbing everything I had from the farmhouse. I paused at the dinner table, looking down at the photographs of the Harmons and thinking back to that weird moment in the hospital with that odd vision.
The day was getting longer, and I hurried back to Eli, waiting in the pickup truck. I threw my bag in the back and climbed in beside him. He smiled and backtracked down the lane. We turned to the left and went down a side road where we came upon my poor old car. It had crashed directly into a tree, and the whole front part of the car had been destroyed. Fluid leaked all over the road, and I almost shed a tear for my departed friend. We had traveled far together. I grabbed a few things from the car, but something was off about the car. The front door had been knocked off and was discarded on the far side of the road. It looked impossible; the door hadn't even hit the tree.
Eli hooked his truck up to his trailer, and we sped off, leaving the property behind us. We headed into town and found a pullout on the side of the road with a set of bathrooms to camp at for the night. Eli's trailer was messy but cozy. He had laundry strewn over most surfaces, but it didn't smell bad.
The room consisted of a small kitchen with a bed in one corner. There were also a lot of posters and artwork on the walls. I examined one of a pretty girl with long raven-black hair. It was a realist painting, obviously taken from real life.
"Who is this?" I asked as Eli made us some food.
"That is just a friend," Eli said, glancing at the painting he had done.
"Well, she is a pretty friend," I said, enjoying watching the back of his ears turn bright red.
"Dinner's ready," he said, pouring the mixture of food he had made onto a pair of plates.
Eli served me and handed me a can of Coke to drink. I thanked him and sat on his bed. It was the only serviceable piece of furniture in the whole trailer. We both sat in silence for a moment while we ate. I could tell something was bothering Eli as he kept making glances toward me.
"What? What is it, Eli? Just say it," I said between bites.
"Tell me what happened, Polly. Tell me why you were burying the scarecrow, why you were passed out in the road with straw in your hair. Tell me why you were muttering about the Harmons and a scarecrow when I found you," Eli said suddenly, as if he were unloading a machine gun.
I looked Eli square in the face and relented. I told him about the last couple of nights at the farmhouse, about how the scarecrow had been tormenting me every night. About how he had saved me and how last night I had fled through the fields to his trailer and then to my car. I told him about the vision I had about the Harmons in the hospital. By the end of it, I was in tears. I felt so foolish and childish.
Eli took it in stride. He asked a few questions during my retelling, but by the end of it, he was silent. Tears fell down my face and landed in my lap. We had both put our plates on the counter, and Eli hugged me. He put his arms around me, and I nuzzled into his shoulder, feeling comforted again in him at the lowest points of my life.
With a gentle hand, he wiped away my tears, and I smiled, letting a nervous laugh escape my lips. I looked up into his face and felt his stare before I saw it. His pale blue eyes shone with comfort, and then his lips were on mine as he kissed me quickly before pulling away slightly.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. That was insensitive of me. You're sad, and I took advantage of that," Eli said, moving back slightly.
"Shut up," I said, and grabbed his shirt, bringing him back in.

PART 1:

 Every town has their own version of “The Boogeyman”. A monster, cryptid, phantom, whatever you want to call it, it’s all essentially the same thing- just a scary story they tell kids in an attempt to get them to behave. An urban legend is just a life lesson disguised as a horror story after all. For us folk living up in the tiny and once prosperous gold-mining town of Trillium, ours was known simply as The Locust Man. Now, let me start by saying, I realize how ridiculous that name must sound to you. “The Locust Man”?? Pftt…What’s he do, besides get stuck in the grill of someone’s pick-up truck. Destroy some crops? Oooh, he sounds real scary... yeah, I know. But yet, as I sit here today 20 years after the fact - a grown woman who’s wiser, stronger, and even more grounded in reality than she was at 12, I still hesitate to even write down that name. 

As a young child I had always thought it to be a little weird that our town was called Trillium, considering I had never seen a single one growing there. If you don’t know, a trillium is a small flower, usually white but they come in other color varieties as well, with three pedals and a bright yellow center. They sort of look like if you took a lily and tore off every other pedal playing “He loves me, he loves me not”. In school, about 2nd grade or so, we were taught everything about this elusive flower I’d never seen in real life, and told how proud our town was to be named after it. Trillium, Colorado was established in 1922 - A new town born in the wake of a great tragedy which befell the town that had previously sat in the same location. For us, and those that came before us, the trillium was supposed to be a symbol of hope. Knowing all that I know now, that sentiment almost makes me want to laugh - in a morbid way.

 Growing up in a small, mostly isolated town, there really wasn’t much for a kid to do. You’d have to drive 45 minutes to get to the closest mall and movie theater. The high school kids would usually all hang out at the roller rink downtown or at the old run-down burger joint called Slim’s that sat across it. But at that age, I wasn’t allowed to go hang out there by myself yet and for me, going with my parents tagging along wasn’t an option I was open to. My neighborhood was on a long dead end road leading up to a large patch of woods that separated the main part of town from the abandoned mine. The old trail the miners used was still accessible up until a point, and so me and the other kids from my street would hang out in those woods all the time. We had a “secret spot” which was, what we thought at the time, about half way through the woods, 10 steps away from a small shallow creek that pretty much ran the length of the area. Rain Creek, we called it. There was a small clearing there, and we had created our own little clubhouse using old milk crates as supports, half- broken wooden pallets as walls, along with some old lawn chairs one of the neighbors was throwing out one day. I made my contribution by bringing a tarp we had in our basement that served as the roof of our establishment. Our parents didn’t love the idea of five 10 to 12 year olds running around in the woods by ourselves, but as long as we stayed within earshot and made it back before the streetlights came on, they probably figured it was safer than us being across town galavanting unsupervised. 

It was me, Lacey, Devin, Mikey and Michelle. We were all best friends - pretty much inseparable, except the boys weren’t invited to the girls’ sleepovers and vise versa. Everyday after school, we’d get dropped off by the bus at the very beginning of our road, and it was a running joke between the Rain Street Gang (as we liked to call ourselves) for all of us to try and run off the bus as quickly as possible, while me, Lacey and Devin would all yell in unison ‘Last two home are some rotten eggs!!’, as Mikey and Michelle tried to push past us to get a head start. The aforementioned two were siblings, and lived in the very last house on our row right next to the woods, so they’d always get home last, regardless of their efforts. Although, the year that Mikey got a pair of Heelys for Christmas he finally got his edge over the rest of us, leaving Michelle to be the lone “rotten egg” until the next summer when one of his wheels broke off. The whole point of it all was just to get home and get our chores and homework done as fast as possible, so we could meet up at Mikey and Michelle’s house with enough daylight left to make our trek into the woods and back - together as a group. All five of us had made a pact to never visit the clubhouse without all members present, although us girls always had a sneaking suspicion that the boys thought themselves exempt from that rule. They, after all, were the ones that had discovered the spot in the first place, and not to mention, did most of the physical labor of dragging our provisions out there. Me and Lacey initially only heard about the spot a day after the boys found it; Michelle had walked into Mikey’s room in the middle of him and Devin talking about it, and immediately relayed the message to us. Michelle wasn’t necessarily more loyal to the girls than the boys, she was just the youngest among us and honestly couldn’t resist blurting out any mildly relevant information she thought she might have, in an effort to be included. But in that regard, if the boys had ever gone out there on their own, they would’ve had to be extremely sneaky about it, because Michelle’s number one objective in life was to gather any piece of intel she could. It was a seemingly normal Saturday morning when we learned our suspicions about the boys may have been warranted.
I had slept over at Lacey’s house the night before. We had just woken up and were still sitting on her bed discussing our possible plans for the day, when Michelle busted through the door with a look on her face that immediately told us she had finally gotten a hold of some juicy information, before she could even open her mouth to stutter out, “You-you-you guyssss, guess w-w-what!?!” Lacey gestured the nail file that was in her hand toward her, raising her eyebrows bluntly as Michelle tried to catch her breath. “So… Devin came to sleep over last night, annnnnd I was pretending to go to the bathroom so I could spy on them. Seeeeee, I was supposed to be sleeping but I -“ “Ughh come on Michelle, get to it! What’d you hear?” Lacey snapped “Ughh okay okay. So, I heard the boys talking, anddddd…. they’re planning to go explore the old mine today!!” “Alright Michelle! Good spying!” I chuckled, trying to encourage her after Lacey’s impatience. Lacey rolls her eyes, then immediately stands up. She takes the scrunchie off her wrist, ties her long blonde hair into a messy bun, and simply said, “Let’s go.” “Lacey..” I said “What??” She responds as if she hadn’t registered the tone of my voice at all. As I opened my mouth to begin explaining all the logical and practical reasons why even if the boys were stupid enough to go play around somewhere dangerous, we shouldn’t be, Michelle exclaims, “That’s where the Locust Man lives!!” I close my mouth in defeat, as I know Lacey will take this nonsense as a challenge, and because of that, no amount of my warnings concerning actual dangers would have any effect on her decision. Lacey dismisses her comment as she attempts to shove her foot into one of her new pink sneakers that she refuses to admit are too small for her. “Pshhh, don’t be such a baby Michelle, he’s not real, you do know that right?” Michelle crinkled her face and yelled back, “Yes he is Lacey! He is!! And th-th- that’s where he lives, and he eats kids that go there!” Lacey laughs at her and says “Oh yeah? You still believe in Santa clause too? What about the tooth fairy?” Michelle looked down at her shoes, and although she could admittedly be annoying, I found myself feeling bad for her. “Come on Lacey, she’s just scared.” Lacey shot me a look like she was expecting me to burst into laughter, but I just gave her a smirk and a shrug, and she rolled her eyes and said “Get dressed.”

 We walked in silence toward the end of the road, though the reasons for all three differed drastically. Lacey’s was determination and resolve, mine was comtemptousness and defeat, and Michelle’s was just fear. I found myself half-way hoping the boys had left already, but as we approached the driveway we caught them just as they were about to step off the porch. 

“Hey!!” Lacey yelled, in her trademark cheerleader cadence. “Where do you boys think you’re going without us?”. Mikey let a groan and rolled his eyes, while Devin said through a coy smile, “Well, we were actually just heading out to go to find you girls.” “Liar.” Lacey snapped, quickly wiping the grin off Devin’s face. “Michelle already blabbed- we know where you two are going and we’re coming too.” The boys looked at each other, then Mikey shot Michelle an angry look as she tried to shrink herself behind me, and said, “Fine, whatever, but no cry baby snitches allowed!!” Michelle then proceeded to prove both of his accusations correct by yelling back, “I am not a cry baby!! I’m telling mom if you don’t let me come with you!!” At that point I finally spoke up. “Alright, listen.” I said sternly, then once I had their attention I lowered my voice a bit to say, “Just for the record, I think us going to that grody old mine is a dumb idea and a big waste of time, but if one of us goes, we all go. That’s the deal, so make your decisions.” Lacey folded her arms in solidarity beside me, and with that we all had an unspoken understanding. So, with the boys out ahead leading the way, we headed toward the tree line.

 As we entered the woods, I felt a sense of dread wash over me - but to be fair, as a preteen emo kid who had already reached an adult level of cynicism, I felt a certain level of dread towards almost everything in life. So take my premonition with a grain of salt, but for some reason, this felt… different. I remember the woods being abnormally quiet that day. It took some time for me to even notice, but as soon as I did, I interrupted the mindless chatter going on to say, 

“Where are all the freakin’ birds?” Everyone turned to look at me as if I’d completely lost my mind. “Uhhh… What are you talking about?” Devin asked me. I pointed up toward the treetops. “Listen…. ” They all looked up, then looked around at each other in confusion. “Every time we’ve ever been in these woods, there’s always birds chirping back and forth. We’ve been walking almost 5 minutes now and I haven’t heard a single bird, have you guys?” “Damn, yeah, that is weird.” Mikey agreed. “They probably all just migrated!!” Devin goofily offered. “That’s stupid Devin, it’s spring. If anything, there should be more birds here, not less you moron.” Lacie argued. Devin flipped Lacie off, which was the best rebuttal he could usually come up with, and then turned toward me and said, “Okay whatever, what’s your point exactly?” “Just that - “ I looked over to Mikey, then back at Devin. “It’s weird.” I didn’t want to say what I was actually thinking. That the woods being too quiet was never a good thing. That when birds aren’t chirping, it could mean there’s a predator nearby. Besides, I was pretty confident that the boys, having both been in the scouts, knew what I knew, so saying it out loud would only serve to annoy Lacie and further frighten Michelle. Mikey broke his gaze that had been fixed on me, and while scanning our surroundings he said, “Let’s stop by the clubhouse on the way.” With a nod from me, we continued. When we arrived at our pit stop, Lacey hobbled over to the closest lawn chair and plopped herself down in it. “Ughhh, my feet are killing me!!” “I wonder why.” I mutter under my breath. “Excuse me, what was that?” “Just saying. Those shoes are gonna be the death of you Lace, you can barely walk in them.” “Pshhh, shut up. They just need to be broken-in okay? You’re just jealous cuz you’re still wearing your dirty old Vans from last year.” “Oooh yeah, you got me there. I am so sad I don’t have a pair of ugly pink Sketchers that don’t fit me.” She stuck her tongue out at me and we both laughed. I was just about the only person who could go toe to toe with Lacey’s sass. It’s part of the reason we ended up being best friends, besides being neighbors. In regard to style, personality and interests, we were almost polar opposites. But when it came to humor we were equals. And more importantly, we both had a mutual understanding when it came to our differences- I was me and she was her, and neither of us felt the need to try and make the other one be more like us. Besides, I was the only person who had ever really stood up to Lacey and didn’t take any of her crap, so I think she respected that. While that exchange had been going on, Michelle had started picking tiny pink flowers, and the boys were rummaging in the clubhouse for something. I yelled in their direction, “Hey! Big Mike and Dirty D!!” Me and Lacey giggled and she mouthed the word “big” with air quotation marks. They didn’t respond, so I walked over to the entryway and looked in. They were standing with their backs to me while looking down at an open metal box, and Mikey was reaching to grab whatever was in it. As he stood back up, I could see what it was. “What the fuck Mikey, seriously?” Hearing me cuss, Lacey and Michelle crowded in behind me. “Chill, it’s just a BB gun.” “I know it’s a BB gun Michael, what are you doing with it, and why is it here?” I was livid at the thought that he might be coming out here and shooting at animals just to be a shithead. I expected something like that from a goober like Devin, but not Mikey. Michelle butted in, “I’m telling mom!!!” “Nice try, dad knows I have it.” He looked at me and softened his tone. “It’s for protection, just in case we come across a black bear, or some weirdo creep out here. Seriously… it’s just to scare off something, not hurt it.” He knew how I felt about killing animals, especially for no good reason. A lot of people out here are poor and hunt for food, which I could accept as a reality. But hurting animals just for fun is psycho behavior, so I was relieved to hear him dispel my fear; I really didn’t want to have to hate him. “Do you even know how to shoot that thing?” Lacey asked. “Yeah, my dad showed me.” Devin clapped his hands together, making us all jump and himself laugh. “Well alright then, let’s get going!” I turned to Michelle, still holding the flowers. “You okay?” She nodded. “If you want me to walk back with you, I can.” I was slightly hoping she’d say yes so I’d have an excuse to get out of this excursion, but she just shook her head and forced a smile. I knew she was scared, but she was just too curious. Maybe I was too.

 We walked for what felt like half an hour. The trees had gotten more dense and the path narrowed from the overgrowth. Still no birdsong. I kept scanning the area in search of any sign of life other than us. Looking for movement of creatures scurrying away, listening for the sound of rustling as we passed, hoping for a squirrel, a lizard, even a bug. Nothing. 

“How much further is this damn thing?” Lacey groaned. Mikey answered without even turning around. “We should be coming up on it any time now.” “You said that like 10 minutes ago.” “Yeah, and now we’re like 10 minutes closer to it. And hey guess what, you insisted on inviting yourself - so suck it up buttercup.” “Hahahaha!” Devin laughed like a maniac at Mikey’s quip, while Lacey folded her arms and for once in her life didn’t have a snappy comeback. This time however, I did. “Well we really only came along to make sure you idiots didn’t kill yourselves.” “Oh, so you girls came out here with us to be our protectors, huh?” Devin laughed. “Ehh, more like babysitters.” Needless to say, I was flipped off for that statement. We rounded the next bend and suddenly all came to an abrupt stop one after another, starting with Mikey. Devin positioned himself beside him and let out a disappointed groan. “Shit Mikey!” A huge tree had fallen and was blocking the trail completely. There was no way we could climb over it because of all the leaves and branches - we’d have to go around it, which meant leaving the safety of the trail and crossing Rain Creek twice to get back to it. “Seriously???” Lacey exclaimed. “Maybe it’s a sign that we shouldn’t be going.” I shrugged. Mikey didn’t seem fazed by the obstruction at all. In fact, he seemed more confident. More calm. More sure of his intended mission. “It’s fine, we’ll just go around.” Michelle, who had been mostly quiet this whole time, finally broke her fear induced silence. “We are NOT supposed to leave the tr-tr-trail Michael! We could get lost!” “We aren’t gonna get lost Michelle, I have a compass. Plus, it’s literally just a few paces that way, then we cross the creek and circle back once we pass the tree and we’re right back on the trail.” “Oh you have got to be kidding me” Lacey said, “I’m not treading through that nasty water!” “Yeah Mikey, what about Lacey’s brand new shoes??” I laughed, and she playfully slapped me in the arm. Mikey’s patience was wearing thin with us. “Look, we already walked this far - if we turn back now, we’ve wasted the whole day for nothing. If you girls wanna be lame and turn around, then go for it - but me and Dev are going.” That’s all Lacey needed. A challenge to accept; someone to prove wrong. “I’ll show you lame.” She pushed past the boys and lead the way into the thick brush towards Rain Creek. It wasn’t very wide across, and there were lots of fallen limbs and large rocks spread throughout it. The current was barely that of a trickle, and the depth was no more than knee deep for us. It was definitely doable - just an inconvenience. And of course, one more ominous obstacle lying directly in our path. Another hint from the universe telling us to turn around. We didn’t listen. Lacey placed one foot on the closest limb and pushed down a few times to test its sturdiness. “I got this.” She stepped out onto it with both feet, then shimmied sideways until she was close enough to the large exposed rock in the middle of the creek, and hopped onto it. She turned around with a full grin and said, “Coming?” Mikey made his way across the limb as Lacey hopped onto a different limb which led her to the other side of the creek. Devin followed, then me, and then it was Michelle’s turn. “I’m scared to fall in!” Of course she is, I should have made her go before me. “It’s okay Michelle, it’s easy!” I reassured her. She didn’t look convinced in the slightest. “Come on Chelle, we’re leaving you!” Mikey yelled, already walking away. “Nooo!! I’m coming! Wait!” She made it across, but instead of just walking like everyone else did, she got down on her hands and knees and gripped the limb as if it were the only thing in between her and a 50 foot drop to the ground, which was funny to see but prolonged the whole process further. After all, we were about to have to do all of this again. Next go round went a lot smoother. The creek was more shallow here, and there were a whole lot more stepping rocks and debris built up. Having just crossed successfully a few minutes ago, we were all more confident in our abilities, including Michelle - who this time we made go first. “Just walk across like it’s a bridge! You got this!!”, we all cheered for her, and then clapped when she made it to the other side. Before we knew it we were back on the trail, and it wasn’t long after that we finally arrived at our intended destination.

 We all stopped and stared at it for a minute, carefully examining the dilapidated exterior of the place that had brought both prosperity and destruction upon our town. Mikey bent down, picked up a rock and threw it into the entrance. We heard it bounce a few times before it stopped. 

“Just to make sure nothing’s in there.” he turned around to clarify. “Did anyone think to bring a flashlight?” I asked. “It’s dark as hell in there.” I was hoping for just one more reason not to go. Devin reached into his cargo shorts pocket and pulled out a small keychain-sized flashlight, smiling with the satisfaction of finally being useful. “Okay, Mikey’ll hold the gun, I’ll shine the light and you girls follow behind us. Let’s go.” Mikey shifted the BB gun from its position of resting on his shoulder, to holding the barrel in his left hand and the butt in his right; trying his best to emulate a soldier’s stance. Something his dad had taught him I’m sure. We ducked down a bit to enter. “How far in we going?” Lacey asked. “Until we see something cool.” Mikey answered. I turned around to check on Michelle, still hovering in the doorway. “You coming?” I could see in her eyes that fear had finally gotten the better of her, and curiosity had taken a backseat. With wide eyes she shook her head. “The-the Locust Man lives in there.”, she tried to whisper. “I knew you were gonna be a baby about this!” Mikey yelled. I crouched down and put my hand on her shoulder. Against my better judgment, I say “How bout you just wait here for us and pick some more flowers. We won’t be long, there’s nothing in there, I promise. Just.. don’t move from this spot and we’ll be right back, okay?” I could feel her unease, but she seemed to accept my reassurance nonetheless. “Okay.” I smiled, then stood up and looked down at my watch to check the time. 12:46 PM. I turned and headed into the darkness, trying to catch up with everyone else. I didn’t feel good about leaving Michelle, but I didn’t feel good about letting the rest of them go in there alone either. And if I’m being honest, maybe a little part of me wanted to see what was in there too. When I caught up to Lacey she asked, “Where’s Michelle?” “Stayed behind at the entrance, she was too scared. I told her to pick flowers and wait there for us.” “Pshh, figures.” “Yeah. How’s your feet?” “At this point, numb actually.” It was so dark in there that even Devin’s rinky dink flashlight was illuminating the area enough for me to start taking a closer look at my surroundings. I looked around at the rock walls, they were covered in what looked like orange mold and green algae. There was a slight breeze coming in from the entrance, but the whole place just had a staleness to it. The boys stopped and turned around as we arrived at the first curve. “So ladies, what do you think? Cool huh?” Devin asked excitedly. “Smells like a fart in here.” I said.

 The most dangerous thing about exploring an old mine wasn’t getting lost in the maze of tunnels, or tripping on the rusted tracks and slamming your head against the wall - it was something simply referred to as bad air. Pockets of still air that have dangerously low levels of oxygen, the old men in town would call it “black damp”. There was also something produced from the old chemicals they once used called “stink damp”, which smelled like rotten eggs. Both were lethal. 

“I wonder if there’s dead bodies in here!” “Uh, Dev… we’re gonna be the dead bodies in here if we go in too far. I wasn’t just making a joke, you know that rotten egg smell can mean bad air.” Mikey interjected. “The entrance isn’t far behind us, there’s still enough fresh air coming in. We won’t go in too far, let’s just get to the end of this tunnel where it splits off and look around a bit, then we’ll turn around.” The fork in the tunnel really wasn’t that much further, and even though I knew once we rounded this curve I wouldn’t be able to see the entrance behind me anymore, I decided what the hell. Maybe a hundred more steps, then we can finally turn around and this whole dumb situation would be closer to being over with. When we got there, we looked down the length of the connecting tunnels each way. Everything looked unusually identical in its deterioration. I could see how someone could easily get disoriented and lost down here. “Hellooooo…” Mikey yelled to the left, his voice echoing through the corridor. Devin turned to the opposite direction and called out, “Hey yo, Locust Man!! You in here?” We all giggled, which made me think about Michelle, still waiting at the entrance for us, alone in the woods. I looked down at my watch. 12:46 PM. “Hey what the f-“ My cuss word was interrupted by a loud bang that came from the passageway Devin had just been hollering into. We all froze. I didn’t have time to process that my watch had stopped right as we entered the tunnel, or that Michelle had been left alone for who knows how long now, or that we had just heard what sounded like a support beam crashing to the ground, because next came a horrifying screeching buzzing sound. It sounded distant at first, but was quickly increasing in volume. We silently looked around at each other and backed away stunned at what we were hearing. Mikey never took his eyes off the tunnel though, and slowly he began to raise the BB gun to firing position. Without even thinking, I grabbed the barrel and pushed it downward. He quickly tore his eyes away from his target to look at me. I shook my head and managed to barely choke out the word, “Explosion.” He nodded and I let go. I looked down at the gun in his hands, and seeing his finger had already been on the trigger, I realized how lucky it was that I didn’t make him shoot himself in the foot. All of a sudden, the noise stopped. “What the hell was that?” Lacey asked. “I don’t know, nothing good.” I said. “Let’s just get the fuck out of here before this whole place caves in on us or something.” Another loud bang erupted from the right, extremely close to us. “Shit!!!” We all turned around and ran as fast as we could back toward the entrance. Devin tried to push past me, but as he did my elbow knocked the flashlight out of his hand. “My flashlight!!!” “Leave it!” Mikey shouted “The turn is right here, we won’t need it!” We rounded the corner, and using what little light there was illuminating from the entrance to guide us back, we ran like our lives depended on it. And they may have- none of us dared to look back, not like we would have been able to see anything anyway. When we finally made it out, we were all completely out of breath. I felt like I was going to throw up. I have to admit though, once we had made it back to safety I felt a rush of adrenaline like I had just had a near death experience. That feeling quickly faded into sheer panic when I looked around and realized Michelle was nowhere to be seen. “Uh, where’s Michelle?” Mikey asked me. “I told her to stay right here, she can’t be very far… Michelle!!!!” We all called her name, as loud as we could. No answer, no sign of her anywhere. “Alright look, she probably went off a little further looking for flowers to pick.” I tried to rationalize. “Let’s just split off in 4 directions and walk in a straight line while calling for her. She’s bound to hear one of us.” Everyone agreed, and even though I appeared outwardly as the level-headed calm person you need to take control in an emergency, inside I was petrified that something had happened to her, and that it would be my fault. I took the east, and headed out. It didn’t take too long before I passed a large tree and saw her sitting down behind it, looking at something on the ground. “Michelle! Oh thank god!! Didn’t you hear us calling for you??” She didn’t answer me, or even turn around. “Michelle, didn’t I tell you to stay by the entrance and not move?!?” My relief was quickly turning into annoyance as she continued to ignore me. I walked up closer to see what she was looking at, and my mouth dropped in awe of what she had found. It was a single white trillium.

 They say it takes 8 years for a trillium plant to produce a flower, and conditions have to be just right for it to bloom. That’s what makes them so special and rare. I stared down at it almost in a trance, like I was seeing a mythical creature. Michelle slowly reached out her hand towards it and I snapped out of it. 

“No!!” I grabbed her by the arm and she finally turned around to look at me. “If you pick the flower, the plant will die.” She ripped her arm away from my grasp and whined, “But I want to show my mom!” We heard Mikey calling from the north and I cupped my hands over my mouth to yell back, “I found her, she’s over here!!” I looked back at her. “No Michelle, come on, you can just tell her about it when we get back home.” I had enough, I was beyond ready to go and we still had at least another 45 minutes of walking to even get back to the clubhouse; an hour if Michelle kept up her crap. I grabbed her arm again and pulled her up to a standing position, looking back at the trillium as I walked her away. Mikey caught up to us, breathless but trying to hide his concern. “You little shit, we should have left you out here! What the hell were you doing?” I let go of her arm and she walked toward Mikey. “She was trying to pick a flower over there.” “It was a trillium!!” Michelle said, with the biggest smile on her face. “Wait, really?” He looked at me in disbelief. Before I could respond, a blood curdling scream echoed through the forest, coming from the west. It was Lacey. My heart dropped into my stomach and once again, every molecule in my body went into full blown panic mode. This time, I couldn’t contain my composure. “Laceyyyyyy!!!!!” A panicked shriek erupted from my lungs and I took off running. Mikey grabbed Michelle and sprinted after us. The trees became a blur; I didn’t even feel all the scratches and scrapes. Had she come across a coyote? A mountain lion? A bear? I didn’t even stop to think about the danger I might be about to come in contact with, I just ran. And then I found her. She was lying on the ground, holding her left foot. “Lacey!!” I said, trying to choke back the tears that were building up. “I think I twisted my ankle!!” “Oh god damn it, you bitch.” I struggled to catch my breath. “I thought you were dead.” “I might as well be, I have cheerleading practice on Monday!” Mikey and Michelle caught up to us. “What happened?” He asked “She’s being a drama queen, she just rolled her ankle.” I was angry. “Can you get up?” He asked her. She was able to stand, but as soon as she tried to put any pressure on her foot at all, she screamed in pain. We spotted Devin running over from the south as he was yelling out, “Hey yo, everyone alive and accounted for?” “Yeah, Lacey hurt her ankle.” Mikey yelled back. As he approached he looked concerned. “Can you walk on it?” He asked her. “No.” Without hesitation he replied, “Well alright then, looks like you’re gonna have to piggyback it all the way back home.” He lowered himself enough to where she could hop up onto his back, and we headed back toward the trail. Even though my nerves had begun to settle a bit, I knew we were still far from being out of the woods, in more ways than one.

Years ago, when I was first learning about the Towers, I stumbled across the concept of “Tower cultures”. The theory goes that any culture that “controls” a tower through vaguely-defined means collectively asserts some influence over Time in the region, dragging the societies in the area towards whatever that culture considers ideal and slowing (though not completely stopping) cultural and technological development. In High Rock and Hammerfell, places without active towers, the Direnni and nedes fuse into bretons and the Ra’gada split into redguard Crowns, Forebears, and Alik’r; in Valenwood and Elsweyr, for all the changes they go through, the bosmer and Khajiit identities remain more or less stable. Names in Cyrodiil remain staticly Roman for the whole of the Third Era, but after the Oblivion Crisis leads to White-Gold’s deactivation, Italian names (i.e. Vittoria Vici) grow more common. The developing Chimer-Dwemer culture of Resdayn locks into Tribunal-led Morrowind when they tap the Heart of Lorkhan and gain control of Red Mountain; thousands of years later, Morrowind undergoes the first major political and theological reshuffling since then the moment the Tribunal collapses. Summurset maintains an aristocracy-dominated monarchy since before recorded history until Crystal-Like-Law falls, after which they promptly transform into a pseudo-fascist theocracy. The Nords turn Snow-Throat into a sacred monastery and maintain a social and political system far older than any other human culture in Tamriel.
Trouble is, when I went to double-check and brush up on my lore recently, a brief search turned up nothing about Tower cultures. I found a few references to how important Towers tend to be to the societies around them and one source (Aurbic Enigma 4: The Elden Tree) that hints at something similar, but nothing as concrete as what I expressed above. Hell, the only result I found for the phase “Tower culture” was one post I made here. Is this an established thing I missed while searching or have under the wrong name, and if so, is there somewhere I can go to learn more?