Biographical Information
Full Name: Luna Rose
Nicknames: Gremlin [By Ava], Lun, Lun Lun, Lunny (all 3 By Lilly)
Place of birth: Richland, WA
Race: Human
Age: 16
Family: Ava (Mother), Lilly (Sister)
*
Physical Description
Gender: Female
Hair: Luna's hair is pretty straight, and naturally black but it's currently red due to Luna dying it that color.
Weight: 160 lbs
Height: 5’8
Appearance: she wears very casual clothes and always has a backpack on. Looks pretty normal all things considered
*
Career information
Occupation: McDonald's Worker
Specialty: Flipping those Damn burgers
Rank: Cook or something idk how McDonald's work.
*
Random shit
Personality: Luna is a nervous teenager who loves her sister more then anything else in the world and would do anything to Protect her. Other than that, she really wants to make friends but can be a bit… clingy, Which usually ends up ruining her relationships.
Likes: Family, Heroes, School, Writing
Dislikes: Incompetent Detectives, Birds, Actually Facing Any Mental Health Problems she might have, WISH.
Weapons: Pepper Spray.
Birthday: may 6, 2008
Favorite Food: Chocolate Cake
Disliked Food: Pickles
Favorite Quote: “Is there any man that needs a reason to protect his own children?” - Adam from record of Ragnarok

hello everyone I am a guy 17... currently prepping for Jee 2025 just completed 11th... i am quite irritated and worried... i have taken admission in Akash for 12th but i am not able to understand anything and cant cope up with them...and i cant do anything i am trying my best but still nothing is working...there is so much pressure from my parents to get a good college my dad has taken my mobile too so i can study without any distraction but how can i tell them that i used to study on mobile only... and my parents has submitted 1 lakh rupees for Akash and it is a huge amount for us...i am not able to understand concepts of physics and maths i am studying chemistry only...i have no irl friends...i just stay in my room and i don't go anywhere apart from my coaching...(sach bolu to gand phati pdi h...nhi mila acha college to baap gand tod dega)...and my parents fight a lot because few days ago my dad cheat on my mom...my dad is best dad but this is heartbreaking i cant even imagine...i have a younger sister so i am worried for her if someday they decided to separate...and my mom also pressurizes me by saying i am going all through this for you i would have gone long ago...so i am also worried for them...i overthink all the time...and for few days i am feeling very sleepy like i sleep for 13-14 hours straight...i tried to search about it and on internet it says i am in depression or i have a sleep problem......and i am getting fat and i am getting short breath with the time...my eyesight is also weakened too (-3.5)...and i am traumatized from past relation too she left me by saying i am from lower caste (Sc) (hn bhai krlunga jaake naali saaf) please pareshan mt krna
now i don't think anything will happen...my personal life, career, health everything is fucked up...if you have any advice you can drop a comment

Today I had a long phone call with a JEEtard who was my super junior (like 3 years junior) and I had lost contact with him for almost a year. He was casually talking about his parents (mere flat mein rahte tha) and about his sister (my batchmate same class) and I was trying to avoid asking for his JEE score (kyuki bc vese hi sab gand mein ghusse rahete hai..fir kyu pareshan karna). Fir end mein call end karne se phele I asked ki hopefully you are well prepared for Advanced!!. And too my shock he had scored a staggering 99.7X rank in Mains. I was demn bc mere se zyada hai.. Honestly, I felt proud. Unfortunately, he and most of the juniors of my flat looked up to me, always looking for advice or inspiration(lmao) but I at the end of prep and after joining my college had honestly turned into a pessimistic and empty person (engineering wale hai na) and seeing him(the junior) had just brought back some fond memories!!. Mind you this guy was talented af and was top of his class (ICSE) and was like a city topper while I barely was a topper in my fucking school. I always thought of him as naive and kinda too optimistic..like most people of his age..he had the naive determination of IIT B/M mein CSE and ECE(like most people of this sub) but the dude even after reaching 12th. Maybe the blinding aspiration does help a person.

🫖 Welcome back to the Asylum write-up. This is where you live now. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
In this installment, we finally take a closer look at how Emilie Autumn's hyper-loyal fanbase gradually started losing faith in her as, among other things, it became more and more apparent that she... wasn't exactly a reliable narrator – in her semi-autobiographical book, or in general.

HOW IT STARTED: A WOMAN OF MYSTERY

Willow, weep for me Don't think I don't see This life I'm living in two But still it's something I must do I'm not unique in this Nor am I special, sweet, or kind I court a thousand smiles Yet I keep my own to hide behind (“Willow”, 2004 🎵)

I've previously referred to EA as an “expert vagueposter”, and this is relevant here.
For an artist who built her brand on a pledge of raw, rats-and-all honesty, EA has always been quite guarded about the specifics of her personal life. (Until her current partner, for instance, she always danced around calling anyone a boyfriend, even when the nature of the relationship was pretty obvious.) Her whole angle is telling “the truth”, but through whimsical fantasy. As early as the fairy-themed Enchant era, she had her own world, her own vernacular; she spoke in metaphors, in-jokes, and quirky anachronisms. Taxis were carriages, her electric keyboard was a harpsichord, she always capitalized Time and Art like Shakespeare does. On the Asylum forum, automatic word filters would change “fan” to “muffin”, “fairy” to “faerie”, “bra” to “teacup holder”, and “responsibility” to “ratsponsibility”.
She's a chatterbox who loves to share memories and funny anecdotes, but she usually keeps them short and sweet, Snapple-facts style. 📝 She's great at painting by touches in her storytelling, revealing just enough to let your imagination auto-complete the rest. 🔍 Even the most banal tidbits are very artfully told, very “on brand”, often dense with symbolism and foreshadowing – but also very abstracted.
She is especially elusive when it comes to her background and formative years. See the way she catches herself in this interview 📺📝 while describing her “favorite scar”, which is from an eel bite: “My – well, someone I knew... [gasp-laugh] had it as a pet, and...” (She was about to say “my sister”.)
In short, the way EA talks about her life is often very personal, but not all that candid – and sounds more like it's meant to provide a curated, coherent backstory for Emilie Autumn the character, rather than Emilie Autumn the person.

I'll tell the truth, all my songs Are pretty much the fucking same I'm not a fairy but I need More than this life, so I became This creature representing more to you Than just another girl... (“Swallow”, 2006 🎵)

In the beginning, this guardedness naturally contributed to the mystique. It made it all the more special when, once in a while, she would briefly drop the theatrics to share something earnest and relatively unfiltered. Like this composed, but vulnerable post from 2004 📝 about her father losing his battle to cancer, and her attempts at closure over their tense relationship. Or this 2012 anti-bullying campaign thing 📺 in which she opens up about being a target of intense physical bullying in elementary school, to a point that contributed to her being homeschooled at 9.
Fans in the early years were curious about her backstory, of course – but not too prodding or invasive, to my knowledge. I think there was an understanding that EA, like many performers, wanted to come across as human and approachable, while still cultivating an “aura” and retaining some privacy. But obviously, when she announced that she was writing a Tell-All Memoir in 2007, everyone was dying to read it. TEA TIME!

HOW IT'S GOING: A WOMAN OF... MALARKEY???

LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! LIAR! (“Liar”, 2006 🎵)

As we've learned, the original 2009 release of EA's book was highly anticipated, but somewhat tainted by a bunch of shipping delays and unfulfilled promises. From the start of her career, EA had always cultivated a close parasocial involvement with her audience; many fans had as deep an attachment to her, personally, as they did to her art. So, for instance, when EA tweeted about all the personal dedications she was lovingly writing in overdue books, only for the books to arrive many months later and unsigned with no tangible explanation, it wasn't simply frustrating: it was betrayal amongst kin!
Really, it wasn't so much about fans not getting what they paid for – it was about the lack of clear communication or genuine accountability. This is pure speculation on my part, but the poppycock that EA tweeted about signing the books strikes me as the panic-lie of someone who hadn't realized just how many heartfelt, personalized dedications she would actually have to write when she came home from tour. And then she just couldn't do it, because she was overworked, paralyzed, distracted, depressed, procrastinating, whatever. Which... you know... is unfortunate, but probably not unforgivable. Especially for a touring performer who is open and vocal about their mental health issues.
I'm confident that most fans would have been happy to tell her that her well-being meant more to them than an autograph, or something along those lines. Instead, EA's cagey and avoidant demeanor around this issue left fans very salty – and newly suspicious of their favorite artist's word.
Which was regrettable timing for EA, because they had just received their copies of her memoir.
Here's a cursory look at some key biographical points that didn't hold up to scrutiny when more and more vexed fans, over the years, started looking into them.
Content warning until end of post: family estrangement, death by fire, worsening physical health issues, mention of disordered eating / weight loss / thinspiration, and LIES! LIES! LIIIIIES!

“EMILIE AUTUMN LIDDELL (BORN SEPTEMBER 22, 1979) IS AN AMERICAN SINGER-SONGWRITER...” (Wikipedia)

Every fandom has its Holy Grail. Because a number of EA's early releases were limited pressings put out through now-defunct record labels, the EA fandom in its heyday was a collector's wonderland. 📝🦠 At the height of her popularity, the original Enchant jewelcase (the one with the puzzle-poster) could easily fetch around $500 dollars on eBay, unsigned. The handwritten lyrics of an Opheliac B-side went for $940 in 2009. Don't even ask me about the hard copies of her two poetry books: those never even popped up over the five or six years that I had various alerts set up for all EA-related listings.
But the true crown jewel of EA rarities is the untitled promo version of her (also virtually unfindable) 2001 instrumental debut On a Day... No one knows how many copies exist. The darn thing is so rare that it's not even listed on Discogs. For a while, the only picture of the elusive “Violin” promo CD that was circulated online was this one.🪞 Go ahead, click the link. Notice anything odd? That black box where one composer's birth year should be?
I'm not sure why the notorious hyper-fan who originally shared this picture on the forum in the early 2010s took it upon himself to censor it before posting. I wasn't able to pinpoint when or why people started questioning EA's age, but clearly, something had already transpired to let him know that not redacting said birth year might, uh... cause an upset. In any case: at some point, people started digging – and eventually, the unredacted version of the “Violin” tracklist (as well as public records and literal receipts from eBay auctions) would be brandished as one more piece of damning evidence that EA was indeed (gasp!) two years older than she claimed to be.
“Okay, and?” you shrug. “What's the big deal?” I'm shrugging too! What can I say? People don't like realizing they've been fooled, even about something stupid. I will note that EA's fall equinox birthday (hence her middle name “Autumn”, yes) had been somewhat significant in the fandom. Over the years, EA's birthdays had been marked by online release parties, Q&A's, community events, special merch sales... A number of fans liked donning her trademark cheek heart on September 22. It felt a bit uncanny to realize that she had been announcing a false age on those occasions. It wasn't “a big deal” so much as it was incredibly odd.
Other than being appalled that Self-Proclaimed Staunch Feminist EA would give in to the cult of youth and not cop up to her real age, many fans were just plain bewildered: who would commit so stubbornly to such an inconsequential lie? What was even the point of lying by two years only? Why did she think anyone would care that she was 28 rather than 26 when Opheliac came out? What was she possibly getting out of this...??
My completely speculative theory is that, whether it was her idea or her then-manager's, the lie originated as a marketing strategy early on in her career. The “Violin” demo was recorded in 1997, when EA was 19-going-on-20. Per the liner notes of On a Day... 📝, which came out when she was 22, the demo's purpose was to be “a sort of calling card in the classical music industry”. Evidently, that didn't work out; EA claims, in the same paragraph, to have walked out on a classical recording deal at 18 because they wouldn't give her enough creative control.
Talented and unique as she was, she was trying to break out in a notoriously elitist and innovation-resistant milieu – and unlike her, most of the 22-year-old classical violinists she was in competition with had actually graduated from their prestigious music schools. But you know what sells better than an ambitious college dropout in her early twenties? Tweaking the truth just so to market yourself as an unconventional wunderkind, barely out of her teens! Any rendition of a complex, learnèd musical piece sounds more intriguing and impressive if you think it was played by an especially young (and beautiful) person. 20 was plausible, close enough to her real age, barely a lie at all, and such a nice, round number for a debut album.
Notice how much of the On a Day... liner notes, linked above, center on her precociousness, her uniqueness, and her savant-like dedication to her craft – a focus that seems absent from the promo version (from what I can decipher in those potato-quality pictures, anyway). These talking points would provide the basis for a lot of her early self-promotion and budding stage persona in the Enchant years. Even though the EP failed to make EA a household name in the classical world, the wunderkind narrative was her “in” to grab the attention and heart of a broader audience.
And I guess she's been running with it ever since.

“MY ANCESTRY IS POSITIVELY LITTERED WITH LUNATICS AND GIRLS WHO FALL DOWN RABBIT HOLES ... MY NAME IS EMILIE AUTUMN LIDDELL. YES, THAT LIDDELL.”

Oh, come on. Much as a fan may want to believe, isn't that a little on the nose? The anglophile with an obsession for tea, clocks, and madness... is literally related to Alice in Wonderland? 🔍 Curiouser and curiouser indeed.
EA came out as Emilie Autumn Liddell in The Book – of course – in a passage where she describes an interaction with a nurse. 📝 Note how she stresses the authenticity of her name, and how not-chosen it is (and the Alice connection, which just comes up organically) by disclosing it in a scene where she's filling out paperwork.
I'm pointing this out, because it would be tempting to allow room for creative license (and the slightest cringe) in a work of creative fiction based on personal experience. Buuut... TAFWG was not marketed as fiction. The main narrative in TAFWG, according to EA, is an actual fac-simile of the journals she kept during a harrowing stay at a Los Angeles psychiatric hospital following a suicide attempt. This is something that EA has stressed from the inception of the book (and throughout all subsequents re-issues, even as the main narrative was altered and reworked), even claiming that a legal team had advised her to redact some names to avoid potential lawsuits. So, no, she's not doing a bit there.
When, after it made the rounds a few times, it became apparent that the claim didn't really make sense 📝🔍, reactions were mixed. Some older, diplomatic fans downplayed it as a somewhat embarrassing, but harmless self-mythologizing – similar in nature to her insistence on calling her electric keyboard a “harpsichord”. Devout EA apologists (commonly referred to as “bootlickers” in an increasingly polarized fandom – oh, don't worry, we're getting to that!) invoked the “life as performance art” defense: when she said it was literally her first name, she meant it metaphorically, duh! And either way, she probably had her reasons.
But others took offense at the boldness of the lie, or simply became curious. Was Liddell even her name at all?
If you've checked the link just above, you already know the answer. Per the public California birth log (a somewhat demented invasion of privacy that could well have been avoided by... not repeatedly drawing attention to a name that someone in the book calls “right out of a movie”?) : yes, no, kind of.
EA was born Emily Autumn Fischkopf* on September 22, 1977. The name came from her father, a first-generation immigrant from Germany. Her maternal grandmother's maiden name was Liddell (but no, not that Liddell, or so remotely that it doesn't matter). EA may have had it legally changed at some point in the last decade, but as of 2012, based on the public log of foreign visitors to Brazil (where she toured that year), her passport still bore the name “Emily Autumn Fischkopf”.
*No, EA's birth name is not literally “Fischkopf”. It's a non-silly German name that begins with an F. I know that it's ridiculous to clutch my pearls about EA's peace of mind now, but triggering new and disquieting Google alerts for a name she clearly wants nothing to do with (and that you don't care about) just feels... distasteful? I don't know. That info has been floating around long enough, the point has been made; this write-up is not about EA's last name, but about the fiends we made along the way! So Fischkopf it is.
Let's track the evolution here! It appears that she went by “Autumn Fischkopf” for at least part of her formative years, if we are to believe the credits from Mark Ruffalo's middling film debut 📺 (she was the child actor's violin-playing body double) and this random article about a Nigel Kennedy performance in 1997. 🔍 (That last link – possibly her first ever mention in the press? – is a niche favorite of mine. Violin superstar Nigel Kennedy calls her a “talented fiddler”, which suggests that she did have some cred and promise in the classical milieu at a young age, and that there is at least some truth to her claims of being a wunderkind. It also cracks me up that, out of all the things she's reiterated over the years, “I was born in '79” was a lie, but “I was attacked by a pet eel” was fact-checked by Nigel Kennedy.)
At some point in her late teens, she dropped the Teutonic surname and adopted the French ending of her given name (she made it a “LIE”! how poetic) to form the moniker “Emilie Autumn”. I assume that's also when she started privately going by Emilie / EA for short.
So there you have it. The damning evidence. A performing artist... changed her name. To her grandmother's name. Riveting stuff!
And to think that her fans could have carried on naively believing “Autumn” was her last name, or assuming it was a romantic nom de scène she picked during her Ren Fair phase. Or perhaps, even, not thinking much about her name at all, like normal people.
But nooo, she just had to poke the hornet's nest by making a whole thing out of it.

“MY ENTIRE FAMILY DIED IN A FIRE.”

If you've never encountered a method-acting con artist or a person who struggles with pathological lying (I'll let you decide for yourself which of these, if either, applies to EA), you probably believe that you'd spot them a mile away. And in my experience, that's exactly why you wouldn't! Whether it's compulsion or calculated strategy, successful fibbers rely on people's natural social cues (like their assumption of good faith, their confirmation bias, their empathy, their desire for validation, their fear of awkwardness, ...) to subtly direct the flow and tone of the conversation. This allows them to short-circuit potential questioning of their claims.
One such strategy, for instance, I call the “I-will-not-further-speak-about-the-incident maneuver”. Out of the blue, you drop a graphic and incisive one-liner about something horrific that happened to you, in a curt or flippant tone that throws the listener off and usually shuts them up – thus sparing you from having to back up your claim with any convincing specifics. I'm not saying that every person who does this is a liar. Horrific stuff does happen to people, and I'm not here to police how they're supposed to disclose it. I'm just saying that if you wanted to fabricate an obvious Tragic Backstory™ and smuggle it past otherwise rational, discerning and reasonably intelligent people, that would be one way to do it. Full disclosure: it does work better in person than it does over the internet, especially when you've kept a blog.
When EA curtly dropped this bomb on Twitter (in response to an innocuous fan question that mentioned her parents – the receipt has sadly been X'd out of existence), and every subsequent time a new fan found out about her family's tragic demise (“I had no idea!”), the response was typically one of shock and sadness – and, in a few heartbreaking cases, commiseration from other survivors of family-annihilating events.
Many fans already had a hunch that something was up with her family, of course. She hinted at neglect and possible abuse in her book and lyrics. A number of her fans also came from dysfunctional households, so her not wishing to elaborate on the topic would probably have been a non-issue. But now she's saying they're dead? All of them? In a FIRE?! Holy macaroni! And you know it must have been awful, because EA – the same woman who got a dozen bangers out of a three-month-long toxic relationship, and based over a decade of her work on one bad hospital stay – had never, not once, felt called to share a song or poem about how it might affect a person to... lose all of their entire immediate family to a fire. Hmm. Meanwhile, the handful of older fans who had been following her since Enchant and remembered her dad passing in 2004 gritted their teeth and rolled their eyes. “Do your research. That's all I can say.” (We'll get into the culture of censorship free speech regulation on the Asylum forum in due time.)
Before more and more embittered ex-fans started compiling and circulating the receipts in the early-mid-2010s, investigating the whole “dead family” thing was a lonely journey – a coming-of-age expedition for the critical-minded Plague Rat, trawling through free background check websites and old Wayback Machine archives, until you went “Welp, there it is, I guess” and suddenly felt older, stupider, and a little bit hollow inside.
Although I don't remember how I personally made my way to The Truth (lol) back in the day, I still have a vivid memory of the moment I found the Facebook profile of EA's Very Much Non-Deceased Mother. It was mostly posts about her costume design work. A few candid pictures with EA's siblings and their kids. Christmas, birthdays, a wedding. Just... aggressively normal stuff. It was bizarre, looking in on this family of cheerful strangers with familiar cheekbones. Knowing that, somewhere out there, was an estranged eldest daughter, who had run off years ago to become a fiddle-wielding rockstar – and was now passing them off as having all died a gruesome death, while her fans secretly stalked their family photos. (Because I know you'll be asking in the comments: yes, EA's family is aware. Her mother once posted a picture of young EA and her siblings on Pinterest, sarcastically captioned “After most of us were killed in the fire.” 📝)
Again, it's tempting to discount EA's remark as a metaphor for family estrangement, taken too literally by neurodivergent minors who just didn't understand performance art. Well. First of all, even as a metaphor... let's admit, once again, that that 2000s edginess has aged like fine milk. It's a little crass to make a “metaphor” out of a plausible, life-shattering trauma that other people actually have to live with. (Veronica lost a beloved house to a literal fire 🔍 during her tenure as a Crumpet, for instance; no one died, but that alone seemed pretty rough.)
But, more to the point, evidence suggests that EA also told this to real people in her real, off-stage life – such as her Trisol manager, who backed the claim on the official Asylum Forum in 2007. 📝 When questioned about this post on a renegade forum in 2013, he had this to say:

I was the fool in this case. EA made that up of course. It’s just one thing on a long list of things she made up. Let’s agree she’s very creative with facts if she wants people to believe a story. (...) I once had a short chat with [EA's mom] and I got the strong impression she wasn’t dead at the time. Haha.

(OK, dude, but did you or did you not sell fake EA tickets on a scammy website in 2008? Because we never did get the skinny on that.)
Fifteens years on, EA continues to insist, unprompted, that “the fire” destroyed her childhood drawings and baby pictures. 📝 This more recent Instagram post is like a Greatest Hits of her most notorious yarns, to a degree that's either premeditated trolling or a subconscious call for help. She casually, yet pointedly mentions her age in relation to a specific year... and specifically draws attention to the signature, one that she used well into the Enchant era. In doing so, she made me notice, for the first time, that the A blends into an F. As one could expect from an artsy, Renaissance-obsessed teenager, her OG signature was a freaking monogram for Emily Autumn Fischkopf. It's like “The Tell-Tale Heart” for the digital age! AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS?? 🦠

A BIT O' THIS & THAT: MISCELLANEOUS CLAIMS

Just for fun, here are other sundry “citation needed” facts that EA has claimed over the years. All are originally from the book unless sourced otherwise. Some of them may have been jokes, some of them might even be true! Whatever that word still means!

• She suffered near-fatal leukemia at age 2, but miraculously recovered. Doctors were baffled.
• She has perfect pitch and tone-color synesthesia. 🔍
• She also had a photographic memory before Ativan ruined it. That's how she remembers what the sky looked like on the day she came out of the hospital leukemia-free.
• It is well-known and well-established, among the bipolar community, that bipolar people all over the world will regularly and inexplicably wake up at 4 in the morning. 🎵 On the dot. No one knows why, but they do. Doctors are baffled.
• She can play the violin on horseback!
• The traumatic hospital stay happened before Opheliac until it happened after. 🔍 Doctors are time lords.
• TAFWVG “has been cited in text-books used as part of the psychology curriculum at Oxford University in London.” 📝 I would have intuited Oxford University to be in Oxford, but then again, I didn't go to Oxford.

ELECTRIC VIOLIN: UNPLUGGED

You know how whenever a musician starts behaving obnoxiously, old sages will come down from Mount Wisdom to advise disgruntled fans to “simply ignore [behavior]” and “just focus on the music”? Well, in the Asylum, “just focusing on the music” won't always preserve you from EA's shenanigans. This “claim” is a little different, but I've decided to include it because it is so odd, emblematic, and ultimately tragic. I also count it as “biographical”, because it involves a key tenet of EA's character sheet: the violin.
Being a kickass fiddler is one of EA's trademarks, and has always been central to her narrative; as of 2024, “world-class violinist” is still the first claim to fame she lists in the “Story” section of her official website. Which beggars the question: why won't she play it? And why won't she acknowledge that she's not playing it?
We got our hopes up in 2020, with that one post 📝 about her iconic 1885 Gand & Bernardel getting refurbished by a luthier – a thoughtful birthday surprise from her boyfriend – but despite the promising “More to come...” at the end of the caption, that turned out to be a false alarm. In truth, it may well have been over a decade since anyone has witnessed EA draw a single note from her cherished instrument.
The fact that Lord Autumn was able to sneak it out during lockdown without the Lady noticing tends to confirm that she hadn't been playing much behind the scenes. She seems to be under the impression that e-violin manufacturer Zeta is no longer in business (they did close down in 2010 🔍, but reopened under new management in 2012), which suggests that she hasn't been keeping up with the violin scene for a while. Besides, the fingernails don't lie. 🐀
As the live shows veered more theatrical with the release of Opheliac, the extended violin features from the Enchant era were cut to two main appearances per concert: “Face the Wall”, a seven-minute-short, Hendrixesque take on Arcangelo Corelli's “La Folia” – and “Unlaced”, an arpeggio-ed frenzy that was originally paired with a stilt-walking and ballet performance by the Crumpets. These two instrumental tracks remained a fixture on four successive tours. And on four successive tours, “Unlaced” was... well... clearly dubbed. 📺 She was holding her e-violin, her hands were playing the notes, but what was coming out of the speakers was indubitably the studio version.
There were possible explanations, of course. Some sound buffs pointed out that “Unlaced” has multiple violin layers, and that a live violin solo would have sounded harsh and unbalanced over the supporting tracks 🔍 – but then, why pick an unplayable song as a staple of the show?
The violin-miming wasn't even very hush-hush, she didn't try that hard to hide it – it was just never addressed or acknowledged. On “Unlaced”, Veronica was usually summoned to “play” the keyboard – and we knew that was make-believe, they had a whole skit about it. 📺 Ditto when EA would play the intro to a song, then get up from the keyboard as she started singing, and the harpsichord track just kept going. It was part of the theatrics, the suspension of disbelief; live playing just wasn't the focus.
Still, because playing two songs should have been in her wheelhouse, EA's choice to stand on stage and mime along with her own world-class violin skills was puzzling. We knew EA was capable of playing “Unlaced”: “Face the Wall” was proof enough that she could still shred like nobody's business, and some lucky fans got to hear her nerd out about pitch standards and rock some Bach at VIP showcases in 2011 (though it was always the same piece, and reportedly not always on point: “she made beginner mistakes, like weird jaw, wrist, elbow placement and tension...” 🐀). And sure, “Face the Wall” was an intense piece, but... it was one of two in the show. The same two, always. She was supposed to be classically trained...!
As EA's fabrications became more common knowledge among the fanbase, people took increasing issue with this odd staging choice – particularly after “Face the Wall” was retired partway through the 2011 tour, leaving only the pantomime, with nothing else happening on stage to distract from it. 📺 People started fixating on her constant and inexplicable tweaking of the truth. Fake name, fake age, fake promises, and now she was fake-fiddling and making a grand show of it? Was she outright mocking her audience, daring them to call her out? Milking a skill she had grown bored with, in the lowest-effort way possible, knowing that goo-goo-eyed fans would still pay to see it? Playing them the world's saddest song on the world's quietest e-violin?
The release of new album Fight Like a Girl in 2012 did little to soothe the Plague Rats' fiddle blues. The violin was much less prominent on FLAG than it had been on Opheliac and Enchant. There were almost no solos, which provided fewer opportunities for playing or miming on stage. “Unlaced” was retired from the touring setlist. One night in Texas during the 2012 tour, due to being on vocal rest, EA played the melody line of “Liar” on the violin. 📺 And that was pretty much the last time world-class violinist Emilie Autumn was heard playing her instrument, on stage or in recording – to the dismay of many fans who had loved her for it.

Can someone please grab this woman by her hand, lead her across her livingroom/bedroom/study, and point at that lonely forgotten dusty violin in a corner of hers so she remembers that she actually owns it? (🐀)

It was yet another bizarre, glaring inconsistency in EA's narrative that fans seemed expected to ignore. Another elephant in the padded room. (Personal anecdote that I don't have a receipt for: in early 2012, when I asked if there was a possibility of EA playing another baroque set for the VIP events on the upcoming tour, her then-manager responded that that wouldn't be possible because venues didn't have the proper acoustics.)
Through some her posts over the years , attentive fans pieced together the likely truth of EA's effective retirement as a violinist. It's actually quite sad, and may cast a different light on EA's artistic shift.
The 2011 tour was initially scheduled for late 2010. It was postponed because EA had been neglecting a jaw injury for years, and needed emergency surgery to avoid “serious and irreversible damage” to her one violin-holding jaw. 📝 She had the surgery early in September; in late November, she performed all over Latin America for six nights straight, and by January, she was back on tour. The same tour during which she made “beginner's mistakes” on the Bach partita, and retired “Face the Wall” for good after a few shows.
She underwent jaw surgery again in 2018, after three years of orthodontic treatment which she said had “prevented [her] from performing”. It was the first anyone was hearing of this (she said she hadn't been touring because she was writing the musical!), and it's as far as EA ever got in terms of half-addressing the obvious: that after dedicating a third of her time on Earth to her craft, after years of pushing through the pain night after night, rushing through recovery periods, and making compromises so the show could go on... she may not be physically able to play concert-level violin anymore.
Once again, something that should (and would) have elicited empathy and support from most fans turned into a point of frustration, speculation and mockery, for years – because EA continued to favor pretend-play and fantasy over the sobering, unglamorous truth. Well, at least everyone's unhappy.

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

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There is this old couple who stay right opposite to our flat. Uncle is retired, it's been 6-7 years and aunty is a former nurse who left her job 30 years ago when she became a mother. They have 2 daughters who are like elder sisters to me (gem of a people) but they got married and shifted to UAE. And OMG the uncle has become unbearable since then, he thinks both me and my sister are their Children now, he tries to influence our parents decisions regarding us, bhenchod darwaza khulne ka aawaz aate hi he'll open his door to see kaun hai and agar mai ya meri bhen hue toh he'll be all like, kidhar jaa rahe ho? Kyu ja rahe ho? Kab aaoge? Arey, my parents know about that and that's enough right? Lekin nahi uncle ko gand me ungal karni hi hoti hai. Aunty is fine, infact she stops him from doing all this nonsense but buddha sathiya gaya hai i Guess??? Abhi toh hadd kardi uncle ne, i recently completed my MBA and got a good job and i was constantly in touch with his younger daughter for guidance and all because she too did an MBA and all....he ofcourse knows this and now he's constantly pestering me or my parents to know my package. Arey? Even my parents don't know about my real package, why should i tell him? And he'll try to find it out by different ways like, 1) arey tune loan liya haina toh abhi emi bharega toh X amount of emi ke liye X amount of salary toh rahega na tera? 2) tera dost log ka placement kaha laga? I said mumbai and then he asked kidher se hai wo log? I said koi Delhi, koi Jaipur, etc and then he said toh mumbai me rent itna high hai wo log ko itna rent afford karne ke liye toh X amount of salary toh milata hoga na? 3) the most absurd one, "tune X didi (his younger daughter) ko apna salary bataya na toh mujhe kyu nahi bataya?" I told him, "uncle maine kisiko nahi bataya didi ko bhi nahi aapko kaun bola ki maine didi ko bola?" Unki bolti band ho gayi.
Honestly they are good people and they have gone out of their ways to help us out, we have been neighbours for 16 years now, that family has seen us growing from kids to adults but yaar ab gussa aata hai thoda. Kaise deal karu politely? Anyone elso who also faces such problems?

This is a rant post (I need to get this off my chest):-
On my return trips to Kashmir,I make it a point to visit my Ancestoral home in South Kashmir.Since most of my extended family lives in Sirinagar we have left the home to the care of our "pitters" (grandfather's brother's family).At this point it has became a routine of sorts that whenever I visit home most of my relatives from both maternal and paternal side get together at the old villa ( saal chi Karan sarni rishtedaran).This time among the invitees was my maternal cousin and her husband along with their sevevn year old son who live in a "posh" area of Srinagar and are from a "pir" khandan.
Already my said brother in law has a kind of superiority complex which comes with being a "peer" and a certain lack of historical knowledge(please note that I have nothing against anyone from pir khandans except for arrogant little bitches who believ they are better than all due to their name).I have a bit of a tense history with him and was against my cousin marrying him for reasons that I will not divulge and being the dumb and charged teen that I was I had openly opposed the marriage even against my cousin who I was personally close with since childhood ( she was in essence my older sister and had raised me ).
Anyways when my cousin and her family arrived we greeted them warmly but I noticed that my cousin as well as her husband talking to the kid in English , obviously the kid did not comprehend the language well and replied in Urdu but this kind of upset me .For a while I ignored it but the anger brewed in the back of my head .How my cousin was willingly destroying this poor kid's identity was beyond me ,also because she is very well educated and has a masters degree ,had qualified net as well as set and then left PhD to get married.
After lunch while everyone was hanging around a few of my relatives who live in anatanag seemed extremely impressed by the kid's ability to speak Urdu and were enjoying talking to him in broken gaamich Urdu .This again irritated me .Then my cousin sends the kid to me ,now the kid who acted like typical previliaged "sonne gobir" of big khandaans do threw a tantrum and refused to first talk to me which I was thankful for since my mental state at that point was quite broken.Then my brother in law brings along the kid and comes to me and goes ,"aap matna ho gande bache(which is an incorrect sentence in Urdu language),jao Karo mamu ke sath baat" and I lost it ,I said "mammu Kari ne Urdu pathe kath" (mammu won't talk in Urdu) ;my brother in law's face turned sour and was like "kyu nahi Karo GE Urdu Mai baat(why won't u talk in Urdu) " ,at which point I went on and schooled him about how he was destroying the identity of the boy and will destroy his language skills as well due to his obsession with feeling superior to others .At this point the guy went on a castist rant about how they are "peer" and don't need to talk to low class people ( we are Malik from Raina khandan) .My paternal cousin kind of a bruteish guy who was hearing all this grabbed the collar of the man and tossed him to the ground .After which my cousin sister cursed me and our family and along with her husband left with most of my maternal relatives following suite,boud hangaam wouth,mouhlas waach kath .The entire function turned sour and everyone dispersed .Most of my maternal relatives have ever since stopped talking to me and my family even to my mother who had nothing to do with it.I honestly don't care except for my mum who has been increasingly trying to mend the ties.
I know I behaved like an asshole but at some point I think there is a need to confront this menace of urduisation of the future generations and I don't care if we have to ruffle a few feathers for it .
Edit :-
THE POINT OF THIS POST:- I haven't written this post to brag about me bullying a kid or his father for speaking Urdu but to emphasize that speaking Urdu as a first language has become so common in some sections of kashmiri society that they don't even teach their kids kashur eventually leading them to not be fluent in any language at all and erasing their identity as Kashmiris .
ABOUT MY BROTHER IN LAW :-
Idk why probably from my writing a lot of people seem to assume that I am jealous of my brother in law (technically he isn't even that) :-
I have known the guy since my school days ,he was in highschool when I was in 2nd grade,he was a well known rich brat who had a shitty reputation among the younger generations .Even in the times when drugs and alcohol were not that common he was openly known as a druggist and an alcoholic.His parents sent him for MBBS to Russia and he returned 3 years later having not even passed his first semester while wasting atleast half a crore rupees for nothing .He also was known as a womanizer who hanged around women much younger to him and has an FIR registered against him for assault,which he got off due to contacts in the administration .He roamed with well known "gangsters " in srinagar.He made friends with another cousin of mine just to get in touch with my cousin sister who is 2 years his junior and got my cousin brother into drugs in the process.Idk how he even won over my sister and how he convinced her parents to agree to marriage .When he came to know that I had openly opposed the marriage he came to threaten me at home .He even had the tires of my dad's car slashed ,after which I beat the living shit out of him . Eventually he didn't want me invited to their wedding .He nowadays puts up a facade of being religious while people close to him promised me that he still drinks (it isn't too hard to miss that ).My cousin sister isn't entirely happy with him either but she won't acknowledge it openly ,she even had run off back home for a few months till he pressured her to get back with him .
ABOUT BEING CALLED A HYPOCRITE FOR STUDYING ABROAD:- The subject I work in has only in recent years started being taught in kashmir .It's a very research oriented subject with no real facilities in kashmir and not even in India.I haven't settled here ,neither do I plan to .Also being a man of principle I have learned the language of this place to a degree of proficiency that is enough to converse with the locals while English would have sufficed for my dad to day usage either way .

Just gonna spoiler-tag this, to be on the safe side, even though I am not TRYING to spoil anything.
I’m such a sucker for body swaps that are also gender swaps. Go Princess Go is a fun one because you’ve got a pretty lecherous guy from the modern world transported to ancient China (they can’t say it’s ancient China, for censorship reasons, but you know what it is lol). And this man is STEADY MACKIN’ ON THE LADIES now that he is in a woman’s body.
He is played by Zhang Tian Ai, meaning that this very tall, beautiful woman gets to act out being this totally lecherous freakshow in a long wig, makeup, hairpins, long flowy gowns, etc.
He is CONSTANTLY all over his own personal maid, calling her “baby,” getting all up in her personal space, and what would be pretty hard to watch if it were just a dude doing this to his female servant is…very very fucking amusing (and some other things, depending on your, um, orientation!) when it’s Zhang Tian Ai playing the role, and when the maid receives all of it as this sisterly joshin’ around rather than as sexual harassment.
Of course, the drama also has the other obligatory tropes that go along with the genre. A man having to experience menstruation is just a must-watch. This one doesn’t play up the misery as much as some of my favorites, but you get to see ancient Chinese maxi pads, and that is quite interesting! Feathers—who knew?!
Zhang Tian Ai is just killing it in the lead role. Sheng Yi Lun (Peter sheng), Yu Meng Long, and Guo Jun Chen are all okay, with GJC actually, I’d say, being a lot better than just OK, but mostly their roles are just not allowing them to do nearly as much as ZTA.
I know for a fact that Sheng Yi Lun can do a LOT more as an actor. A comparably low budget gem is Oh My General and he’s an absolute scene stealer in that one. I just think the script for Go Princess Go doesn’t give him as much to work with. Anyway, he’s playing it very straight instead of being a bit more satirical, which is kind of a shame, b/c ZTA is not really playing it straight and it’s working well for her.
I thought she turned in a very subtle performance in Sword Snow Stride and was disappointed when Soldier A Mai was too boring to keep watching. I may try to watch it again, this time with my finger on the ffwd button in the hopes that it improves. I also think she should get a lot more roles.
Tbh the script for Go Princess Go isn’t that brilliant when you stand back and look at it. Like the events that have transpired so far (I think I’m on ep 11 or so) are just okay. Nothing too flashy. But a lot of the different elements combine together well. And frankly, a lot of it rests on ZTA’s charisma and believability as a guy stuck in a gorgeous woman’s body.
Highly recommend if you’re looking for something to watch during this drought of good new dramas.
Oh also, whoever designed the wardrobe for this was on multiple hallucinogens. Bravo to them. Putting Sheng Yi Lun in that molded breastplate multiple times is absolute camp. The entire drama needs to be filed under the definition of camp tbh.
edit: typo
edit2: A disclaimer. Everything in this mini review is just my subjective opinion and it should be okay for people to have opinions. If I said something about a personal fave of yours that you disagree with, you’re also entitled to your opinion, but I personally prefer not to start or engage with drama so would really appreciate it if we could keep things pleasant in the comments, with the understanding that I am not trying to start drama with this post. Thank you.
edit3: Lesbian and bi women, femmes, & thems alt text: this is SO HOT. 🥵 And like, not in a wholesome way. It’s the best kind of unclean—ie the cdrama kind. I think this was supposed to appeal to the male gaze maybe?? But somehow they let SEVERAL of us get involved in the production and it ends up also being for us haha. Anyway, enjoy. It’s fun.

Mara the Merciful, Arkay the Guide, Mother-Wolf, Z'en the Iron Merchant, Saint Xarxes the Scholar, Martyr Martin, Kynareth the Hawk-Headed, Celestial Emperor Tiber, Saint Vekh the Water-Faced, Saint Mephala of the Black Hands, Dibella the Elusive, Two-Headed Dragon King, Saint Stendarr the Kind, The Horned Stag, Most Revered Ancestor Shezarr, Saint Almalexia the Golden, Saint of the Tentacles That Grasp, Saint Morihaus-Breath-of-Kyne and his brother Saint Ysmir-Breath-of-Kyne, The Most Revered Star-Mother, Sep the Serpent, Saint Pelinal the Star Knight, the Head of Saint Pelinal, The Black Dragon Emperor, Ebony Spider, Saint Veloth the Wanderer, Saint Nerevar, Four-winged Kenarthi-Tava, Saint Seht the Clockmaker (with working clock!), Saint Peryite the Balancer, The Skooma Cat, Mother Nix-Hound, Tu'whacca Ibis-Headed, Saint Olava the Fair, Armored Bull, Saint Topal the Pilot, Malacath, Saint Namira of the Bottomless Hunger, The Silver Fox, Saint Mother Barenziah, The Ruby Heart, Saint Reman the Moth-rider, Revered Ancestor Boethiah, Ius the Animal God, Saint Jiub the Eradicator of the Winged Menace, Most Revered Ancestor Azura, Mother of Dusk and Dawn, Saint Kagrenac the Architect, The Whale of the Bridge (carved from a horker penis bone), Saint Julianos the Teacher, Ancestor Moth, Saint I'ric Harad Egun, Pestilent Dragon, Saint Mikhael Karkuxor the Theologian, Most Revered Ancestor Divad Hunding, Baan-Dar, Saint Kieran the Bard, Saint Dagon the Liberator, Barabas the Hound, Saint Alessia the Many-Praised, Saint Sai the Lucky Dog, Saint Uriel the Eight-less-One Crowned, Saint Marukh the Seer, Saint Perrif the Bull-Wife the Many-Praised (depicted as she-Minotaur), Saint Kaladas the Architect, Rajhin the Footpad, Saint Gyron the Immortal, Saint Al-Esh the Many-Praised, Saint Errandil the Nost-So-Living-Anymore, Saint Rilms the Humble, Saint Jurgen the Calm, Saint Paraval the Many-Praised with her golden horns, Saint Hasphat the Skeptical, S'ephen the Wild One, Saint Sed-Yen the Mid-Wife and her sister Saint Shonni-Et the Mid-Mid-Wife, Saint Aleshut the Many-Praised with a romboid hole in her chest, Saint Mankar the Heretic (with spit receptacle!), Saint Hans the Fox, Saint Arnand the Also-a-Fox, Most Revered Ancestor Ysgramor, Nocturnal the Riddle Unsolvable, Saint Xrib the Who-Are-You-Again, Saint Pevesh the Many-Praised, Mother Niben, Father Rumare and Sister Makapi, The Insect-Queen, a Deep One (with fully rotating joints and neck!), Saint Whatshisname the Forgotten, Saint Clavicus the Vile, Saint Esha the Many-Praised, Saint Rid-Thar-Ri'Datta the Sugar Prophet, Saint Ysmaalithax the Roaring, Saint Iachesis the Greycloak, Saint Borgas the Roaring, Saint Arctus the Statesman, Saint Hestra the Conquerer, Saint Paravant the Many-Praised, Saint Faolan the Rebel, Cyrus the Restless (with removable Floating Sword!), Saint Abnur the Coat-Turner, Vanus Galerion the Mystic, Revered Ancestor Trinimac the Unchanging, Saint Aldr the Memory-Borne, Saint El-Estia the Many-Praised, Vaernima the Night Terror, my grandmother, Saint Alandro the Witness, Eplear the Blood-Red Sword of the Green, Saint Nafaalilargus the Imperial Seal, Lord Tusk the Regular Seal, Uderfrykte the Ghost of the Jerall, Saint Perrethu the Many Praised, Mother Earth, Dibe-Mara-Kin (with interchangeable heads!), Arden-Sul the Utterly Mad, Saint Gaiden the Fight-Tutor, Magnus the Spyglass, Most Revered Ancestor Ruptga the Persisting, Saint Baar Dau the Falling Rock, Saint Huna the Beloved, Umar-Il the Beloathed, Saint Gyub the Warbling, Mother Malapi, Saint Olaf the Wicker-Man, Hircine the Elk-Faced Hunter, Saint Sheza-Rana the Lying Creative, Saint Imago the Stormy, Saint Odhaviing the Tongued, Hahd and Nahd the Drowned Siblings, Vigryl the Drowner, Saint Paarthurnax the Calm, Saint Mnemo-Li Who Remembers, The Hero of Kvatch, Saint Iana-Lor the Soul Road, Saint Teo Bravilius Husband-of-the-Niben, Belharza the Bull-King, Darloc the Beast, Muatra the Spear (also carved from a horker penis bone), The Underking, Saint Lalorarian the Helpful, Saint Londa-Vera (as Cyrod), The Eternal Champion, Caker the Tiger-King, Saint Agnorith patron of overshadowed siblings, a Hist Tree, The Hooded Light of Tyranny, Saint Roland the Scourge of Vampires, Saint Kix the Lizard Wizard, One-Horned Ami-El, Pelin-Al-Essia (with Amulet!), Saint Leki of the Spirit Sword, Saint Rislav of Colovia, the Warrior, the Mage, the Thief, the Ritual, the Lover, the Lord, the Shadow, the Steed, The Apprentice, the Lady, the Tower, the Atronach, the Serpent, Saint Unala-Se the Mangoose, Saint Jephre the Singer, Saint Garid who Mourns his Own, Saint Versidue-Shaie the Coiled King, Saint Aless the Homonym, Saint Valia-Sha the Loving Fire The Emperor, The Divine Crusader, Saint Haskill the Overworked, Dread Father Sithis, Saint Xero-Lyg who Shines Through the Dark, Saint Lyris the Anonym, Saint Myn the Fiery, Saint Zisa the Slippery, Saint Nyfa the Grounded, Saint Ilni the Breezy, The Blind Skull, The Grey Fox, Saint Savirien-Chorak the Coiled Prince, Saint Jobasha the Bookkeeper, Saint Orsa the Beekeeper, The Doomed Queen of Dooms, Saint Jubal-lun-Sul the Indecisive, Saint Balyna of the Balm, Saint Q'Owlen the Loremaster, Jodenjone, Saint Saban the Witch-Mother, Agamanus the Sphinx, Saint Makela Leki (the other Leki), Raen the Farmer, Saint Springseed, Sethiete, Revered Ancestor Moraelyn, Saint Delyn the Law-Scribe, Saint Shagrath (the other spider), Old Jhim Sei, All-Most Revered Ancestor Padomay.

10th [2020] ke khatam hote hi Corona agaya tha , family walon aur khud ese baat krrke exicited hoke PCB chose karliya tha , and and you know corona so meri 11th and 12th bakchodi mein gayi aadhi se bhi zyada . Mtlb kitne cheeze mene un do saal padhi bhi nahi
Fir jese tese karke mene apni 12th ke exam dediye 76% aaye theek the .
Neet 2022 1st attempt : 106
1st drop : 2022 -23
Fir Papa ne soch krke pese krke mere ko kota mein daaldiya june mein start hua tha batch leader ka mein 2 - 3 mahine khub acche se chala , but aage jaake mere koi itne acche dost nhi bane mene class jana chod diya bahut akelapan hua . udhar kota mein time mainly barbaad hi hua and dukh aur ki papa ke 2 - 3 lakh bhi waste mein gaye , jabki unpe home loan bhi hai
Neet 2023 2nd attempt : 176
2nd drop : 23 - 24
Abhi bhi mereko lagrha hai selection nhi ho paayega , and i dont know what to do with my life this saal meri bio khub acchi hai BUT PHYSICS and chem fuked up mtlb mene padhi hi nhi . littrally if i say in chaar saalon mein chapters touch nhi kiye
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So here I am again , Mere ko pata hai agar krna ho toh mere 650 ke araam se ban sakte kyuki mera itrest ho toh hojata hai mere se cheeze easily I was a very good student till 10th , I got a good NTSE RANK percentage etc but I lost or didnt interest in studies after 10th but I like PCB a lot hai but wahi hai procastrination , a little bit of masturbation , no interest , no motivation yahi cheez pehli cheezo mein bhi pareshan kari
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Ab mere ko nahi pata kya karun 3rd drop lu , agar partial drop lun toh kis cheez mein lun , cuet and dusre alag exam bhi dunga rkha hun . I don't know man what i am gonna do . I have been a big failure in my house
Hobbies koi hai nhi , freinds aadhe college mein chale gaye ya ab hein nhi ek dam akela hun , rishtedaaro ke liye mazaak hun , physcial health fucked up [weight high gaya ] , mental health thanks to this exam , No relatioships in my teens , and no social life
Age = 19
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give me some advice brother and sisters it will help
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Every day I wake up waste my entire day by either sleeping or on social media. Every day I feel heavy and not well Every night I think Tommorow I'll break this cycle but no since I am a loser it's not possible. Ha malum hai main apni nakamyabi ka dosh kisi or ko de rhi hun still Himmat krke uthiti hun kuch krne bus health issues,sinus,migrane, obesity and binge eating disorder. Mereko bachpan se hi bhoot mental health issues rhe hai,anxiety,bpd,PTSD,severe depression, emotional eating ,body shaking ,shy ,darpok af and God knows what not I was a fair kid and as well as some people use to call me pretty or Sundar bacha and my own family sometimes use to say I was pretty as kid then became ugly as I inherited my dad's nose,which is flat. My family called me ugly. I was a kid jise log class me smart samjhte the but whi ghr pr kuch nhi ,but those efforts dalne p meri achi rank aati thi and I use to trick people into thinking I'm smart My parents were always protective of us bro sis.
I was digitally raped (meaning:- some random stranger on train penetrated his finger inside my vagina for good momint ,masturbated me when I was 6 years old) That fucked me hard time mentally,uss waqt pta nhi tha kya hai but knew kuch galat hai
Being a perfect kid I was bullied a lot (phle kidzee me fer in kV:-class 1,2) Log akela chor dete the phir exam ke time dost ban jate the phir agle din kehte the yaad ni aa rha mujhe ki dost the lol Phir transfer ho gya or mai chali ek dusre sheher phir vo sheher bhi chuta 9th . Me phiry depression got worst I gained weight and became foolish no tuition Phir dusri jagah admission huay jaha ek bhi din class nhi gyi (papa managed my attendance)toh kuch ata nhi tha nahi koi coaching kri phir bhi got 68.5 % in pcm 2023 Socha drop lu,waha p bhi I got bullied, sexualized kuch samjh nahi aa rha tha padaie bhi people treated me like shit,was fat shamed ,and I had huge breast with fair skin things were even worst,rumours porn , bullying u knew it all because the guy who liked me told me Ek ex boyfriend jisko maine chance Diya broke my trust again played victim Phir mai wapis aa gyi jha ma papa rehte. Now my family Papa mummy an elder brother joh bahir rehta They love me alot but they have a family of shit which they refuse to acknowledge jiske wajah se bhar bhar ke trauma h dono me Mummy kbhi kbhi uthti hai or mujhe Marne lgti h ki padhti q nhi chillati q nhi muh dikhane wali body hai teri,bas khari ho phone chalati ho ,or mai nakhre nhi dikhati chilsti hu agle din baat krne lgti hu Ek baar narazgi Zahir kri kyuki unhone ek purana phone Bina mujhse puche destroy kr diya I was angry but more sad,Ghar me kalesh hogya Ghar me har kalesh ki wajah mujhe mante hai (joh ki sach hai) Nanu ek ache insaan hai but ache pita nhi papa ko shadi nhi krni thi toh vo bhoot gande kapdo me lete huye the jab nanu dekhne aaye and nanu said yes,married off his beautiful daughter to a guy 7 years older ,elder brother of 2 sister and a brother. Papa ki bhi galti h mana krte pr nhi kiya mummy ki bhi ki unhone bhi nhi kiya She was a victim of domestic abuse by my paternal side but my papa was good man thatcosted alot Unke gharwale galat krte hai vo nhi dikhta Abhi bhi bhoot kand huye Insab ki wajah se mummy thodi si pagal hai(unhe nhi pata but halki si,jalti rehti hai ghuti hai under unki fault nhi hai) Otherwise sab normal she loves us cares for us and everything But mummy papa ko kuch samjh nhi Ata ki how much they need help Meri therapy start huyi thi after much chaos vo bhi band krwa di as mom dad said kuch nhi tha ,or vo bas thagta hai paise lol(my stress was higher than city's best therapist) Abhi jab toxicity badh jati hai i cut myself scream Or maine October me period pain killer jisse meri pain or badhti hai ,ketrol,or 3-4 aciloc or kuch medicine milake suicide ki koshish ki I failed their also Aaj bhi phir kuch huya mummy thodi phori papa felt bad mujhe mar mili bhoot . Maine first attempt bhi nhi diya Kuch ata bhi nhi 7 din se Kam me jee hai Jiska centre kaha ayga pta nhi,but phir travel or phir sab ghurenfr Ab kuch nhi ho sakta Mera Bas khana rona binge eat krna and be shamed for the pathetic body I was,I only get groped mocked by everyone Parso mumy ne ek juice Wale ko bolte huye suna kisi ka chota hota hai kisi ka bada or ohir vo gussa hogeyi
Phle socha tha kisi tarh १ mhine padh ke 94 percentile aa jaygi ,usse kuch hoga nhi Mai general hu with no benifits but phir bhi muh dikha paungi But padh khaa paari hu only crying, sleeping, eating Also mere 3 root canal or 8 danto me feeling hai it hurts alot Upar se Sardi ho gayi I'm always thinking of how better things have een agar paida na hoti But I had always one dream to serve my parents off and samaj sewa ,logo ki takleef nhi dekh pati humesha help krti thi khair tbhi Aaj itna kat gya Bhoot kahani h abhi but baad me Don't worry mai nhi mrungi I'm a loser I'll fail there too Ab kya kru pra nhi Padha nhi ata kuch (I was a dropper)

Just bought a new 2024 sport in connecticut. No option 24 package, but added some goodies like the cargo & seatback protectors, aero bars, weathertec mats. Out the door 38k, they gave me 1.5k for trade in which was generous for a p.o.s. jeep patriot. I hated the dealership experience. I ordered in October 2023, told 8-12 weeks, and I don't get in the car until February 2024. I get it.. delays. I paid in full and was already by far the biggest purchase of my life and then to sit down with several people trying to upsell on packages and trying to get me to finance (after I already paid them in full) and not explaining anything clearly. One guy straight up told me yeah these cars are meant to break, look at all these components. After a point it dawned on me the lifetime warranty is very easy to invalidate and even if I would have considered these extra services packages (between 4k and 10k), the guy felt like such scum I just wanted to get out of there, so i rejected all the offers. I even passed on the app which I actually went back 2 days later to get because i love the autostart but I was just disgruntled at the time they tried to sell me it. I wish changing my own oil didn't work against me, I've always worked on my own cars as much as I could manage and felt competent to do. I get it though, I do, so thanks for listening to me vent.
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I looked at a few other vehicles: Honda HRV and Honda Civic Hatchback, Toyota Rav4, Mazda CX5 and Mazda3 Hatchback
With the Hondas it came down visibility & headroom, the Forester has so much glass I can see everything.
Honda & Toyota also have the CVT nowadays which was the only drawback in considering the Forester.
Mazda3 rear pillars were huge and hated the visibility there too.
And then honestly I just dont like the mazda SUV look, also my mom and sister drive them so I had to stand out (excellent car though).
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For seat covers I went for these on amazon, they'll get beaten up with me and the dog so I didnt want too nice/expensive and these looked to have a good fit
​
I also got a few seatbelt plugs, the dog doesnt usually harness to the seats so as she floats around in the back the seatbelt reminders constantly go off
​
Has anyone tried hooking up a rear dashcam? I have this one:
It was pretty easy to run the wire to the back but it adheres to the rear window so it needs slack so the gate doesnt pinch it. Anyone have an idea of some kind of tensioner I could use in this application to pull the cord back as the gate closes?
​
Has anyone tried changing the color of the orange/red trim? I was thinking it would be cool to have that blue or fully blackout the trim.

Everyone knows Sotha Sil is cool as fuck. But who knows what he's thinking? Who knows why he's pregnant? Why the fuck is Sotha Sil pregnant in Sermon 37? Why did Michael Kirkbride write Sotha Sil MPreg and not make it the focus of the story? And why does nobody draw Sotha Sil MPreg rule 34 art? Perchance 

The pregnant Sotha Sil scene is one of the absolute weirdest moments in the 36 Lessons of Vivec, and that's saying something. Sermon 37 as a whole is known for being, well, absolutely incomprehensible, even once you know what's going on. The literal events aren't too weird- it's Vivec seeing alternate ways his life could've gone during the red moment. Kind of. I think. Not actually sure about that to be honest.
But that's not what I want to talk about today. I wanna talk specifically about the mpreg scene. I want to talk about Sotha Sil Mpreg Fanfiction, it's relevance to ESO Gold Road, and why it may be the most important thing to happen to Mundus since Convention.

Three in sum, the robes of Ayem stretched towards the bright black rim of memory, roping an arc of purchase. This was a new sprinting task. And Seht held his swollen belly to its name, clockmaker's daughter, swimming the dead confession along a century of thread, Naming her, uneaten, a golden cache of Veloth and Velothi, for where else would they know to go?
...
"The sign of royalty is not this," a signal blueshift (female) told [Vivec], "There is no right lesson learned alone."
https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:36_Lessons_of_Vivec,_Sermon_37

I believe it was Kant who said "Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play." Sotha Sil exhibits experience by being pregnant, but he exhibits theory by... well he's Sotha Sil, his whole thing is that he exhibits theory. Keep it up, baby! 

So that's fucking weird. For years I think the fandom just accepted it as "yeah Vivec wrote a fanfiction about his friend getting pregnant" but the recently released book The Nine Coruscations from the Scions of Ithelia test server seems to have finally given us an answer:

Mnemo-Li
The Blue Star. The Reclusive Princess. -- retroactively constructed by the -- named her Memory. Appears when the Dragon -- untime -- frozen moments of unfettered destiny -- unbound time gives way -- Dragon Break -- as it was in the Dawn -- endless possibility -- rewritten narratives -- even the Elder Scrolls -- always there is born a Prisoner Unbound -- as is the will of the Prime -- there is no right lesson learned alone.
https://www.imperial-library.info/content/nine-coruscations

That's right, Sotha Sil gave birth to a Star Orphan.

When Sotha Sil leaves his place of safety to get pregnant, he knows that he may Birth The Mother of Free Will. 

Now, the concept of Sotha Sil birthing a daughter called Memory has appeared in the past, and like always it originated with Kirkbride giving a little and the fandom taking a lot. It appears that Memory originated with the Loveletter from the Fifth Era, where Jubal Lun-Sul speaks of being granted audience with her. Sotha Sil's connection to her is a little more... obscure.
I've done a little sleuthing, and by that I mean I googled "sotha sil daughter teslore", and I think I found where the concept originated- not on the official Bethesda forums, not on teslore, but on Facebook.
I found this post from ten years ago by mojonation, where they share this enlightening screenshot:

Serious answer to the question of the baby's identity: was it Memory?
Michael Kirkbride: It's Memory. Have fun with what that means.

the baby in question was from a bit of Sotha Sil Pregnant Fan Art posted to Tumblr by MK
truly this has world-shaking ramifications

And yet, for a man who can forsee his own death at his sister's hands, a daughter becomes a mere store of Memory. A star that can give audience, much as his own memories within the Mnemonic Planosphere. 

Now, we all know any good omegaverse mpreg fanfiction needs an alpha. Who impregnated Sotha Sil? Who's the lucky man? Did he impregnate himself? Did he clone himself and they had hot sexy sex? Did they [REDACTED BY ORDER OF THE TEMPLE]? Selfcest Sil? It is with great heaviness of heart I must inform you that nay, Sotha Sil did not in fact clone himself and have hot sexy sex. So who, then, topped Seht? The answer comes to us in possibly the most underrated text in all of ESO, Sotha Sil and the Scribe
(really the entire text is super relevant here, but for the sake of keeping this post readable I'll only paste the extremely relevant stuff)

The Scribe rubbed at his temples, his head aching from another long night of trying to make sense of myth and memory.
...
"I didn't expect I'd see you again," said the Scribe. The words were perhaps harsher than he intended. In truth, his heart swelled at the sight. ... Both knew what they meant to each other.
...
The Scribe stood slowly, turning to gaze at a map of Nirn pinned to the wall of his chambers. "No," he spoke the truth quietly. "But I love her. And she belongs to them."
...
"Will what we tried to do be enough?" The Scribe saw understanding as he spoke. The Light of Knowledge could give courage to Prisoners, but never to the Scribe.
"This world cannot know peace," said Sotha Sil the God. "Just as its caretakers cannot. It will never be enough, but we persevere for the beauty of dawn in spite of long nights."
It was Seht that leaned forward then. "Every parent believes they have not done enough."
...
"I saw the imperfections in everything I ever attempted," said Seht, glancing at the map of Nirn. "Even imperfections in my pursuit to rid myself of them. Yet I could never stop tinkering. I could never stop creating. I loved her too much. I will give no instruction to you who have already come to know love."
https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Lore:Sotha_Sil_and_the_Scribe

edit: as u/GamermanZendrelax pointed out in the comments, the Scribe is probably Magnus, given his possible role as, well, a scribe, and their plan is about retroactively creating a Magna-Ge. And since Magnus exists outside of time, it would be much easier for him to retroactively insert someone into history than for Seht to do it on his own. That also explains why in The Nine Coruscations, Mnemo-Li is counted among the daughters of Magnus while being called Sotha Sil's daughter at the same time- two dads. Sotha Sil fucked the sun and got boypreggers
Notably this text can only be found in one location in Artaeum, and it's written by a Seer. I highly doubt it's fictional. It's hard to read this text and not get the sense of a romantic relationship, but even if Seht and the unnamed Scribe aren't literally together they're clearly very close, and see themselves as parents of someone or something very important.
The "her" they keep talking about could simply be Nirn, perhaps the Nirn Ensuing of the Truth in Sequence, but it could also be something that belongs to Nirn. Something to bring courage to Prisoners, but that couldn't bring courage to the Scribe.
Let's not forget, Mnemoli is the one who creates Prisoners.

We think of Sotha Sil as a morally grey deity, perhaps the least bad of the Tribunal but still a murderer. But without him, nobody could see the doors. We would all be trapped, unable to see the bars. Slaves to the determinism of Akatosh. Premade lifetimes. Perchance. 

So what's up with Sermon 37? It's End of Evangelion. With the new lore we now know that Mnemoli "appears when the Dragon -- untime -- frozen moments of unfettered destiny -- unbound time gives way -- Dragon Break -- as it was in the Dawn -- endless possibility -- rewritten narrative", and that's what we see in Sermon 37- alternate lives Vivec could have led.
I think
Still not sure what the fuck Sermon 37 is about

you can't just say Perchance 

well now we can
because of Sotha Sil MPreg
Brothers, sisters, those who transcend the cloven duality, I come to you on this day to bring good news of great joy that will be for all people. Sotha Sil gave birth to Memory and she was retroactively Mnemoli, who blesses Prisoners with free will outside of Akatosh's determinism. Because of Sotha Sil Omegaverse Fanfiction, player characters can exist. Anuvanna'si!
also Pelinal was the Star-Made Knight and Mnemoli is a star that makes Prisoners and we already suspected Pelinal was a Prisoner so sotha sil is pelinal's grandpa do with that what you will ok byeeeeeee

Trigger warning: c0da, and I'm also going to just get into shit and assume you know what I'm talking about since this came to me as one vast stream of conciousness
This fucking shit hit me while I was skimming c0da out of boredom and like this scene I never understood has always just been sitting there being weird

TALOS/LORKHAN: Anyone that cuts off their hands? They already get it. They knew they had the Arena in reach, but they decided to refuse it.
JUBAL watches LORKHAN as the latter holds out his hands to either side. The blood-red hole of his chest grows an eye. A woman’s eye.

And it was like, why? Why did Lorkhan's chest become a Woman's eye? How can an Eye be womanly? The fuck? And I just noticed this eye showed up before in the text and I just have poor reading comprehension
In the scene where Hir and Jubal reach the surface of the Moon and see ruined Nirn

JUBAL-LUN-SUL: Just watch out for me.
MOONSIDE. The ghostly wheels inside the dead planet. The gears have eyes in them. Women’s eyes. Women’s eyes with slits for irises. Watch. The Clock. It’s ticking. Always always ticking.
JUBAL-LUN-SUL: No. It’s clicking ... Easy enough to mistake.

And then there's this image on the provisional c0da where there's art and it's just a giant woman's eye in the center of the planet
And it just clicked for me, This Heart is the Heart of the World, for one was meant to satisfy the other.
What does that mean? Well look at Tribunal and Vivec.
Each of them play a role, Almalexia as the Warrior, Vivec as the Thief, and Sotha Sil as the Mage. Male to Female, Intersex, Female to Male. Liar, Poet, Mystery/Truth.
And Akatosh, Lorkhan, Magnus,
Almalexia is the Akatosh stand in, Varieties of Faith establishes that.

Almalexia (Mother Morrowind): Most traces of Akatosh disappeared from ancient Chimer legends during their so-called 'exodus', primarily due to that god's association and esteem with the Altmeri. However, most aspects of Akatosh which seem so important to the mortal races, namely immortality, historicity, and genealogy, have conveniently resurfaced in Almalexia, the most popular of Morrowind's divine Tribunal.

If you're on this subreddit you already know why Sotha Sil is a Magnus stand in, I'm not even getting into that.
So where does that leave Vivec? As a Lorkhan stand in. Vivec is a Lorkhan stand in. Male and Female. Why is that important?
Well in Sermon 35, what did Vivec say he couldn't do?

This should be seen as an opportunity, and in no way tedious, though some will give up for it is easier to kiss the lover than become one.

(To clarify when Vivec tried to"kiss the lover", MK says he apparently tried and failed to do an Amaranth in Sermon 19. I am not going to elaborate further here's a link)
And then later on Vivec becomes predominantly female and does what? Become the Lover, in Sermon 37 and c0da Vivec becomes Female Vivec and accepts the Amaranth with Jubal (listen I didn't decide Female=Lover point fingers elsewhere, blame like, Medieval Alchemy, Crowley, Freud and Jung or something), and then she is willing to accept the Amaranth with Jubal.

The light bent, and Vivec awoke and grew fangs, unwilling to make of herself a folding thing. This was a new and lunar promise. And in her Biting she tunneled up and then downward, while her brother and sister smeared across heaven, thin ruptures of dissent, food for scarabs and the Worm. She took her people and made them safe, and sat with Azura drawing her own husband's likeness in the dirt.
"For I have removed my left hand and my right, he will say," she said, "for that is how I shall win against them. Love alone and you shall know only mistakes of salt."

THE TEMPLE BELOW. JUBAL is marrying the High Alma’s daughter at the Under-Temple of the Velothiid. The whole of Dunmer race is present. And it turns out, the High Alma’s daughter is VIVEC. As a woman.

Lorkhan failed so we know how we may not, failed at what? Certainly not CHIM, as he had that when he observed the Tower, as Vivec tells us in Thief goes to Cyrodiil

Lorkhan watched the Aurbis shape itself and grew equally delighted and tired with each new shaping. As the gods and demons of the Aurbis erupted, the get of Padhome tried to leave it all behind for he wanted all of it and none of it all at once. It was then that he came to the border of the Aurbis.
He saw the Tower, for a circle turned sideways is an “I”. This was the first word of Lorkhan and he would never, ever forget

later in the text

One that knows CHIM observes the Tower without fear. Moreso: he resides within.

Althought Vivec says Lorkhan failed as CHIM so we may know how not to in this text, this was before MK finalized what Amaranth was, or rather what to call it, since Thief Goes to Cyrodiil was in 2003 and Loveletter was 2005

CHIM came first, in the earliest studies of the Wheel and the structure of the Aurbis. It kind of birthed itself when I spun the Wheel and saw the "I", and that's when I knew where Lorkhan was going with all of this.
The Amaranth first appeared in the Loveletter, which was a refining of my mythology and its natural "end point".
—MK

No Lorkhan and the Aedra failed at Amaranth. They were trying to create a whole new realm. Be mothers and fathers as Shezarr's Song says. That is what Amaranth is, a divine marriage and then the child is the Amaranth.
And Lorkhan was supposed to be the Lover. His Heart is the Heart of the World. Lorkhan, always the one to come up with the idea of Nirn/Mundus,
And in Khajiit myth no actually it was Nirni's idea.

After many phases, Nirni came to Lorkhaj and said, "Lorkhaj, Fadomai told me to give birth to many children, but there is no place for them."

In Khajiit myth, Nirni, the personification of Nirn, that somehow exists before Nirn itself, comes up with the idea of Nirn. Nirni is the demiurge in Khajiit myth, where Lorkhan is the catalyst everywhere else.
And here's something, this is how MK describes the Enantiomorph:

Nirn (Female/Land/Freedom catalyst for birth-death of enantiomorph)/ Anu-Padomay (enantiomorph with requisite betrayal)/ ?* (Witnessing Shield-thane who goes blind or is maimed and thus solidifies the wave-form; blind/maimed = = final decision)

Nirn/Niwhatever. The Land. Female. FREEDOM AND A CATALYST
What did Alessia call Freedom again?

and she said: "And this thing I have thought of, I have named it, and *I call it freedom. Which I think is just another word for Shezarr Who Goes Missing... *

(And the catalyst of c0da's events is Female Vivec accepting Jubals' proposal)
Nirn is just Female Lorkhan. This Heart is the Heart of the World.

Why do you think your world has always been contested ground, the arena of powers and immortals? It is Tamriel, the realm of Change, brother to Madness, sister to Deceit. Your false gods could not entirely rewrite history. Thus you remember tales of Lorkhan, vilified, a dead trickster, whose heart came to Tamriel. But if a god can die, how does his heart survive? He is daedroth! TAMRIEL AE DAEDROTH! "This Heart is the heart of the world, for one was made to satisfy the other." You all remember this. It is in every legend. Daedra cannot die, so your so-called gods cannot erase him from your minds completely.

THE HOUSE OF SITHIS IS NIRN SITHIS BEGAT LORKHAN TO DESTROY THE UNIVERSE MANKAR CAMORAN WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG PRAISE MEHRUNES DAGON

I decided to make a comprehensive list of all of Lights' bonus tracks, unreleased tracks, and features - basically any songs that are not part of her main albums. Covers and remixes are not included.
I linked to YouTube as some of these are not on streaming platforms or are not available in every country. This Spotify playlist is a very good comprehensive list of her entire discography, though, if you want to listen to most of these via streaming.
Bonus Tracks

• Up Up and Away (The Listening)
• Frame and Focus (Siberia)
• Cactus in The Valley Acoustic (Siberia - note: this is different from Cactus In The Valley ft Owl City on Siberia Acoustic)
• Timing Is Everything Acoustic (Siberia Acoustic - iTunes Exclusive)
• Fourth Dimension Acoustic (Siberia Acoustic - Rdio Exclusive)
• Everybody Breaks a Glass Acoustic (Siberia Acoustic - LIGHTS Store Exclusive)
• Child (Little Machines)
• Lucky Ones (Little Machines)
• From All Sides (Little Machines)

Unreleased/Unofficial Tracks

• Jess Loves Johnny (written for her sister and now husband)
• It's Over Casanova
• Sleeping With A Ghost
• The Pity Scene
• In The Dark I See
• Outrageous
• Year of the Cure
• The Horror

Charity Album

• How To Sleep When You're On Fire (7 tracks; all proceeds benefit BLM Vancouver)

Non-Album Singles

• My Boots
• Long Live ft Travis Barker

Non-Album Acoustic Versions

• Giants Acoustic
• Love Me Acoustic
• My Boots Acoustic

Christmas Songs

• Deck The Halls
• Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

Tracks Released As Valerie Poxleitner

• Perfect (Songs from Instant Star)

Features

• Don't Go by Bring Me The Horizon
• Crucify Me by Bring Me The Horizon
• When The Summer Dies by deadmau5
• Drama Free by deadmau5
• Falling Away by Seven Lions
• Stop Thinking by Seven Lions
• The End by Silverstein
• Remember to Remember by Shad
• Love Me by Felix Cartal
• Hearts on Fire by ILLENIUM and Dabin
• The Yacht Club by Owl City
• No One Knows Who We Are by Kaskade & Swanky Tunes
• Amateurs by Sleepy Tom
• Open Water by blessthefall
• Last Summer by Tokyo Machine & Weird Genius
• Zero Gravity by Borgeous
• Desire by Maestro Fresh Wes
• Someone to Forget by ARMNHMR
• Last One To Know by Steve Aoki
• Did it To Myself by Robert DeLong
• We Had The Time of Our Lives Together by MAUVEY
• Warrior by Steve James
• Living in Another World ft Darkstars
• Demolition by LUN
• Empress of the Damned by Gunship
• Let's Go by The Beaches
• Pocketknife by EDDIE
• Ben by Andrew Lockington
• Book Club by Arkells
• Human Being by Arkells
• Home Is Where the Heartache Is by The Februarys
• Meant for Each Other by The Februarys
• Turn Off My Mind by Morgan Page
• Every Day by Ten Second Epic
• That's It, That's All by Dear Rogue
• You Got the Girl by The Tremulance
• Used To Be Sweet by The Secret Handshake
• True Colors by Artists Against Bullying
• Wavin' Flag by Young Artists for Haiti
• Erase by FRND

Collab Albums with i_o

• Warehouse Summer
• AM 444 (EP)

Side Projects

• LUN (Mid tempo bass music)

Repequ - Tokiponan't. yes that is what the name of the language means.
Phonology:

	Labial	Alveolar	Alveolo-Palatal~Post-Alveolar~Retroflex	Palatal	Dorsal
Nasal	m	n
Stop	p	t			k
Fricative		s	ɕ	ç~ʝ
Affricate			ʨ
Approximant	w	l	ȴ	j
Rhotic		r~ɾ

​

Vowels	Front	Mid	Back
Close	i		u
Mid	e	ə	o
Open	a

Syllables

	m	n	p	t	k	s	c	q	w	l	y	j	r
i	mi	ni	pi	ti	ki	si	ci	qi	wi		yi	ji	ri
u	mu	nu	pu	tu	ku	su	cu	qu	wu	lu	yu	ju	ru
e	me	ne	pe	te	ke	se	ce	qe	we	le	ye	je	re
v	mv	nv	pv	tv	kv	sv	cv	qv	wv	lv	lv	jv	rv
o	mo	no	po	to	ko	so	co	qo	wo	lo	yo	jo	ro
a	ma	na	pa	ta	ka	sa	ca	qa	wa	la	ya	ja	ra
in	min	nin	pin	tin	kin	sin	cin	qin	win		yin	jin	rin
un	mun	nun	pun	tun	kun	sun	cun	qun	wun	lun	yun	jun	run
en	men	nen	pen	ten	ken	sen	cen	qen	wen	len	yen	jen	ren
vn	mvn	nvn	pvn	tvn	kvn	svn	cvn	qvn	wvn	lvn	yvn	jvn	rvn
on	mon	non	pon	ton	kon	son	con	qon	won	lon	yon	jon	ron
an	man	nan	pan	tan	kan	san	can	qan	wan	lan	yan	jan	ran
im	mim	nim	pim	tim	kim	sim	cim	qim	wim		yim	jim	rim
um	mum	num	pum	tum	kum	sum	cum	qum	wum	lum	yum	jum	rum
em	mem	nem	pem	tem	kem	sem	cem	qem	wem	lem	yem	jem	rem
vm	mvm	nvm	pvm	tvm	kvm	svm	cvm	qvm	wvm	lvm	yvm	jvm	rvm
om	mom	nom	pom	tom	kom	som	com	qom	wom	lom	yom	jon	rom
am	mam	nam	pam	tam	kam	sam	cam	qam	wam	lam	yam	jam	ram
is	mis	nis	pis	tis	kis	sis	cis	qis	wis		yis	jis	ris
us	mus	nus	pus	tus	kus	sus	cus	qus	wus	lus	yus	jus	rus
es	mes	nes	pes	tes	kes	ses	ces	qes	wes	les	yes	jes	res
vs	mvs	nvs	pvs	tvs	kvs	svs	cvs	qvs	wvs	lvs	yvs	jvs	rvs
os	mos	nos	pos	tos	kos	sos	cus	qus	wos	los	yos	jos	ros
as	mas	nas	pas	tas	kas	sas	cas	qas	was	las	yas	jas	ras

Meaning and dictionary (please report to me if there are any duplicates (i wont do anything to them anyway))

	m	n	p	t	k	s	c	q	w	l	y	j	r
i	you	near	small	work	big	closed	quiet	find	loose		dead	power	open
u	danger	none	bad	this/that	material	weird	long	good	by	back	real	me	it
e	loud	language	hi	what	why	need	animal	human	alike	take	give	yes	no
v	how	love	sharp	thick	solid	liquid	gas	plant	life	go	stop	middle	out
o	in	0	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	tail	fly	laugh	many
a	food	touch	stretch	strong	weak	thin	old	new	hot	cold	many	dark	light

​

V	m	n	p	t	k	s	c	q	w	l	y	j	r

​

in	time	space	move	stay	attack	computer	toxic	angry	fine		happy	when	stupid
un	so	meaning	believe	unbelievable	organism	seed	grow	reflect	opposite	push	pull	jump	rotate
en	loop	circle	triangle	rectangle	intersection	road	product	soft	eat	dust	nasty	bird	mamal
vn	reptile	insect	fish	crustacean	cetacean	croatian	corporation	group	straight	woman	man	robot	mild
on	value	respect	positive	sarcastic	hold	say	sleep	wake up	morning	night	opposite	organism	organ
an	explosive	color	hear	red	green	blue	mind	beyond	curve	up	down	left	right

​

	m	n	p	t	k	s	c	q	w	l	y	j	r

​

im	peace	wood	wire	cloth	blanket	bed	think	past	present		future	was	full
um	half	a third	can	a fourth	a fifth	a tentth	negative	and	from	plus, then	minus	multiply	divide
em	planet	war	equal	if	press	control	shift	swear word	smoke	throw	reverse	crash	brothesister
vm	parent	child	cousin	grand	would	count	station	veichle	music	lyrics	with	bug	relative
om	soil	did	see	roll	take	write	disability	ability	there	is	collide	into	onto
am	cut	all	start	below	behind	unknown	learn	use	object	tool	have	also	under

​

	m	n	p	t	k	s	c	q	w	l	y	j	r

​

is	milimiter	centimeter	meter	kilometer	mountain	bump	plain	name	leg		arm	play	body
us	be	of	thing	build	try	grain	release	end	"out of nowhere"	side	bowl	contain	draw
es	pen	honest	fire	water	peel	high	low	3D	fill	undo	redo	front	image
vs	imagine	know	length	width	horizontal	diagonal	vertical	cute	since	becuase	but	building	city
os	eurasia	stop	americas	oceania	africa	island	ocean	north	west	east	south	mouth	important
as	away	god	lake	desert	alternate	other	plain	slow	hit	land	fast	hell	under

​

	m	n	p	t	k	s	c	q	w	l	y	j	r

​
Some rules:
SVO
ANY word cant have a vowel as the first sound when pronouncing the word
Any foreign word must have a dipthong or you just describe it with the weird collection of words or having a illegal ending syllable consonant
​
The ultimate showdown lyrics in Repequ for some reason (just enjoy the stupid text i wrote and not worrying about how i wrote it) (WIP) (i suck at remembering 308 words so it will take me forever to make this and i still probably need to add more meanings)
​
Ca Cakijimvnqis jim jumro
Old Godzilla was hopping around
​
Coswosrosrvs we ki jispilas
Tokyo city like a big playground
​
Jin wus Yoren-qe lvyas wum qunqe
When suddenly Bat-man burst from the shade
​
Qum was Cakijimvnqis man yorenpiman
And hit Godzilla with a batgrenade
​
Cakijimvnqis lom qin qum pam kin
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
​
Yvs nomre nvs mus nos wu Cakilu
But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
​
Qum lum ri ro nus Caikilu-Pua
Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-Fu
​
Qum Auron Kaurter qim-lv
When Aaron Carter came out of the blew

I covered as much of the text that I think are spoilers, but just in case, I tagged the entire post as a Spoiler. To The Long Ballad lovers, you probably don't wanna read this review. Here goes...
After watching A Journey to Love, I needed more Liu Yu Ning and Alen Fang Yi Lun, so people recommended me to watch The Long Ballad. I decided to give The Long Ballad a watch after so many years of avoiding it. Initial reasons why I was hesitant to watch the show turns out to be validated as I watched the show. Now I kind of regret spending the time watching 32 episodes out of 49, (even though it was mainly running in the background, unless Leyan, Haodu, or Wei Shuyu were on screen). Should I still continue watching or just drop it? Episode 27-29 does seem like the turning point...
Let me start with some Pros:

• High production value with elaborate sets and props. Camera work and cinematography is clean and simple, no wasted angles, making it visually appealing.
• The OST songs played throughout the show are very beautiful. The songs are sung by renowned Chinese artists like Zhou Shen, Zhang Bi Chen, Sa Ding Ding, and Liu Yu Ning.
• Supporting casts play their roles as expected, not spectacular acting, but at least they don't annoy me. I enjoyed seeing Liu Yu Ning play a "bad guy". Zhao Lusi as Princess Leyan is a very cute, naive, lost puppy, who grows up! Plus their relationship development has been a treat so far, slow of course, since they only get a few minutes per episode.
• Lots of Eye Candy! Yah this is an idol drama full of beautiful people, all the guys are good looking! Leo Wu, Liu Yu Ning, Alen Fang, Yi Da Qian, Wa Er, Wu Chen Xu, Liu Hai Kuan, and the list goes on.

Now on with my rant, why this show makes me so frustrated, my blood boils:

• This show is mainly known as a historical drama, which is my main disappointment due to its inaccuracies of historical events and people. (History lessons start with reading about the Xuanwu Gate Incident, plus netizens wrote a 41-page report. I think the story of Changge may have been based off of Princess Pingyang, a sister of Li Jiancheng, who was China's first lady general). If they set the story in a make belief dynasty, then I’ll be happy to go along with the story. If this drama was trying to get its airing licenses nowadays, I doubt it'll pass.
• The comic drawings inserted throughout the show really pulls me out of the story. When watching historical dramas, it's about the epic battles scenes. I feel cheated when used comics to depict the battles! This story even fast forwarded the battles so quickly that they missed out the anticipation, despair, and angst of an oncoming battle.
• Too many forced random tragedies, just over dramatized, I couldn't even cry one tear. If it was one or two scattered, the situation will be more shocking and memorable. Sometimes less is better!
• Switching story focus between Changge and Leyan (or other side characters) is distracting and easily pulls me out of the main story. The problem with the switches though is that they are so short, that it's hard to get into the scene or left me hanging. I timed some scenes of Leyan, they're like 2 mins or less!
• Dilraba as the main FL is casted incorrectly. I'm not going to pick on her acting. I'm also not a hater, cuz I love watching her in Eternal Love, King's Woman, You are My Glory, etc. It's mainly because historically, she doesn't fit. She is an Uyghur, her look does not fit the historical accuracies of the Tang Dynasty. The Tang Dynasty were battling northern tribes of either Turks or Uyghur. So when I see her on the Tang side, I'm like "why is an Uyghur fighting Uyghurs? Is she a spy?" With her look, she is more suited for xianxia and modern dramas.
• The character of Li Changge is arrogant, prideful, selfish, privileged, egotistical, impatient, stubborn, and over confident. Always must have her way, her thoughts, and her actions are always right! Most of her scenes are just snapping back at her opponents, especially the ML, such an angry girl! Ungrateful for all these people who risked their lives to save her. I hate characters who think they're so smart. Just not into these kind of FL characters. I know she starts changing (around episode 27, but woh, it took a long time to wait and by then, I'm just tired of her character.
• The story made Changge come up with strategies over the more experienced generals, governors, strategists, the ML, etc., which just sounds unbelievable. She says one line and that's it, problem solved! Her strategy also resulted in thedownfall of Shuozhuo. It may also be how they wrote the script to rush the execution of the strategies. One scene in the heat of a Shuozhou battle, in a pitch, Changge came up with a strategy that was executed immediate and in comic form. Not very realistic!
• How many times does Changge get captured? A lot! A real smart FL doesn't get captured like this. Then she escapes from the help of the ML or miraculously, so is she really that smart?! Hear what ML said to her to try to slap her awake: "Don't overestimate yourself!", "This is the outcome when you think you're right.", etc.
• The ML and FL relationship development is lacking chemistry. I don't feel anything. I feel like the ML is her dad trying to teach her to grow up. They could have done without trying to insert their romance arc. The first hug the ML gave to FL left me with no butterflies, no feelings at all (in episode 23, 15:30, yes it took this long!).
• I tried my best to overcome Changge's disguise as a man. But once she started putting her hair down with braids, how is that not a woman! (I guess this look is to make her pretty for her fans!) This just makes it impossible to immerse into her character. It'll be better with a FL that looks harder around the edges.
• ML's infatuation with the FL is making him look weak and selfish, putting his Eagle Division at risks. Then him chasing after her when she literally caused the death of his mom!

Specific Plot Annoyances (Spoilers)

• Li Changge becomes Shuozhou's commanding general, and surpasses Govenor Gongsun Heng's previous generals. That's impossible without years of battle merits. It would be more believable if she was employed as a strategist. Also quoting textbook practices is not the same as the execution in real life, which requires trial and error through years of practice.
• Over dramatized Dou's death (Changge's sidekick), what did he do to deserve a general title. He didn't even get those reinforcements! How useless! Also, very illogical to send only one scout/courier. Back then, there are expert couriers who horseback through the country to send news.
• When Haodu and Wei Shuyu went to find Leyan, they were taking their time?! They should be out day to night looking, especially if she was sighted in Yunzhuo. But instead they asked the guards to find her and inserted Wei's drinking scene. I was yelling at him, "don't waste valuable time drinking, go out and find her!" (But I did enjoy Alen Fang’s sad, teary act.)
• When they try to pair up people like Mu Jin and Mimi Guili or Xu Feng and Luo Shiba was unnecessary, just fillers, not even funny for a comical relief.
• When Changge meets up with Ashile on his march to Changan, you don’t send your best general Su Yi She to escort her back!
• When Changge keeps insisting on rescuing General Luo, does she not get it, that General Luo doesn't want to be rescued. His aide came to rescue him, and he refused, she was there watching! And when she does help Luo escape, she just caused him and ML's mother to die.
• It took forever to find Princess Leyan! How is that possible?! Using a search crew of a 2 men search team. Reveal to see which episode:Episode 26 is when Haodu finally finds her in Luoyang, the dude should have just stayed put at the city entrance! She found her way back.

This show could actually be two shows or one show with 20 episodes fewer. First one will be about the princess, Li Changge, who rises to a general and saves her country. Second story will be a romance, slice of life drama starring the side characters, with a love triangle between Haodu, Wei Shu Yu, and Leyan. If you really want to watch a historical drama with in depth strategy, schemes, and politics (and some with battles), I'll recommend watching these cdramas instead:

• Nirvana in Fire
• The Advisors Alliance
• Rise of Phoenixes
• Story of Yanxi Palace
• Secret of Three Kingdoms
• The Longest Day in Chang'an

On behalf of the moderation team of Canada we would like to take the opportunity to wish you all a Happy Holidays, a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
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Feel free to take the time to share with the community your well wishes for the upcoming New Year, your own holiday traditions, or your experiences over Hanukkah and Christmas Day. A few of us may find ourselves shoveling snow, tending to homemade rinks or enjoying special treats around the holidays and it is a great time to share our unique (and often very similar) holiday activities!
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While many of us turn our attention towards our families, the holiday season can also be a challenging and stressful time for many Canadians, so a kind word or simply reaching out to an old friend to say hello can mean a lot at this time of year. Many users here may feel isolated, or may be in crisis, but you are not alone. There are resources out there to help you, or even to have someone to talk to. If you or someone you love is in crisis, we encourage you to reach out, talk, and get help. We know it is not easy to take that first step to realize you need help. For those in crisis, there are resources available, if you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8.
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For those of you who have served, we encourage you to reach out to your brothers and sisters, just hearing a friendly voice can be the difference between life and death. If you are a veteran or serving member in crisis, there is help out there, the CF Member Assistance Program Crisis and Referral Centre can be contacted 24/7 at 1-800-268-7708 (TTY: 1-800-567-5803 for persons who are deaf or hard of hearing). Recognizing you need help is as important as getting the support and help you need. You are not alone.
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We hope you all have a safe and festive holiday season. No matter how you celebrate, please be safe and remember not to drink (or smoke) and drive. Every year we see tragic posts about families torn apart as a result of preventable accidents. Please do not drink and drive.
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Our thoughts are also with the thousands of first responders working through the holidays and those deployed overseas serving in the Canadian Armed Forces.
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Look after each other, and always remember there is a person at the other side of the screen. We encourage everyone takes the opportunity to be kinder to each other and remember that with renewed focus on mental health, being kind to those you may disagree with can make everyone's experience more positive.
We encourage you to share pictures, stories and experiences you have had this year (or previous years) to help spread a positive holiday spirit.
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We hope you all had a joyous and Happy Hanukkah, and enjoy a Merry Christmas, a great holiday, and a very happy New Year!
Au nom de l'équipe de modération de Canada, nous profitons de l'occasion pour vous souhaiter à tous de bonnes fêtes de fin d'année, un joyeux Noël et une bonne année.
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N'hésitez pas à prendre le temps de partager avec la communauté vos vœux pour la nouvelle année à venir, vos propres traditions de vacances ou vos expériences pendant Hanoukka et le jour de Noël. Beaucoup d'entre nous seront amenés à pelleter de la neige, à s'occuper de patinoires artisanales ou à déguster des friandises spéciales pendant les fêtes et c'est le moment idéal pour partager nos activités de vacances uniques (et souvent très similaires) !
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Alors que beaucoup d'entre nous tournent leur attention vers leur famille, la saison des fêtes peut également être une période difficile et stressante pour de nombreux Canadiens, alors un mot gentil ou le simple fait de tendre la main à un vieil ami pour lui dire bonjour peut signifier beaucoup à cette période de l'année. De nombreux utilisateurs peuvent se sentir isolés ou en situation de crise, mais vous n'êtes pas seuls. Il existe des ressources pour vous aider, ou même pour avoir quelqu'un à qui parler. Si vous, ou l'un de vos proches, êtes en crise, nous vous encourageons à tendre la main, à parler et à obtenir de l'aide. Nous savons qu'il n'est pas facile de faire le premier pas pour réaliser que vous avez besoin d'aide. Pour ceux qui sont en crise, il existe ressources disponibles. Si vous ou quelqu'un que vous connaissez pensez au suicide, appelez ou textez le 9-8-8. Du soutien est disponible 24 heures sur 24, 7 jours sur 7.
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Pour ceux d'entre vous qui ont servi, nous vous encourageons à tendre la main à vos frères et sœurs, le simple fait d'entendre une voix amicale peut faire la différence entre la vie et la mort. Si vous êtes un ancien combattant ou un membre actif en crise, il existe de l'aide, le Centre d'orientation et de crise du Programme d'aide aux membres des FC peut être contacté 24/7 au 1-800-268-7708 (ATS : 1-800-567-5803 pour les personnes sourdes ou malentendantes). Reconnaître que vous avez besoin d'aide est aussi important que d'obtenir le soutien et l'aide dont vous avez besoin. Vous n'êtes pas seul.
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Nous espérons que vous passerez tous des fêtes de fin d'année en toute sécurité. Quelle que soit la façon dont vous les célébrez, soyez prudents et n'oubliez pas de ne pas boire (ou fumer) et de ne pas conduire. Chaque année, nous voyons des articles tragiques sur des familles déchirées à la suite d'accidents évitables. S'il vous plaît, ne buvez pas et ne conduisez pas.
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Nos pensées vont également aux milliers de premiers intervenants qui travaillent pendant les fêtes et à ceux qui sont déployés à l'étranger dans les Forces armées canadiennes.
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Prenez soin les uns des autres et n'oubliez jamais qu'il y a une personne de l'autre côté de l'écran. Nous encourageons tout le monde à saisir l'occasion d'être plus gentil les uns envers les autres et à se rappeler qu'avec le regain d'intérêt pour la santé mentale, être gentil avec ceux avec qui vous pouvez être en désaccord peut rendre l'expérience de chacun plus positive. Nous vous encourageons à partager des photos, des histoires et des expériences que vous avez vécues cette année (ou les années précédentes) pour aider à répandre un esprit de vacances positif.