So this is my first time posting and I think I’m just looking more for a way to write about how I am feeling and get some of these emotions out. I’m not sure how all this works so here we go.
Back in January I started dating this guy ( Let’s call him JW ) anyways things were honestly amazing from the start. I felt like I had found my better half and someone that made me feel complete. He always made me smile and treated me like a Queen. Which honestly was a nice change of pace because I was previously married and my ex-husband was less than kind.
So things moved pretty quick, fast than I anticipated. We even started talking about a future and marriage which I fully realized that we were in the Honeymoon phase. That honestly that kind of when things started to unravel. JW made a comment about us being in the “honeymoon phase “ and I swear it seems like right after that things started to come undone.
So flash forward to a couple weeks later and I happen to come across a bottle of medicine and being Dr. Google over here I searched it up and it came up being for Herpes. So I took a breath and went to him and asked him to explain what is was/ why he had it.
He told me that he had a “scare” 2 years ago with an ex and his doctor put him on it proactively. He said when it came back negative he stopped talking it and he had just forgotten to throw away the bottle. Based on the age of the Rx in my (love sick head) it made sense at the moment.
Flash forward about 2 weeks and we’re at the weekend after Valentines Day 2024. In my mind he did it really well. He was out of town on work ( and no there was 0% chance being out of town was cheating - just FYI )
So he sent me flowers and called and texted he made me feel so loved. No man had ever made me feel so special. Anyways once he got back in town he came over to my house. I had spent literally the whole day making a surprise dinner us . After dinner we exchanged gifts and it was all really sweet.
I could tell something was weighing on his mind and I asked what was up? He said we needed to talk. And I instantly started to worry. I sat beside him and he told me he loved me very much but that he had lied to me. I was like Say What? and he went on to explain that he was ashamed but that when I originally asked if he had Herpes he was embarrassed and didn’t want to say. I was definitely in shock.
A lot of emotions happened from there, I was definitely upset he lied but I also understood where he was coming from. It’s not like you walk up and shake there hand and then be like OHHHH BTW I have Herpes. So I get the nerves, what I was upset about was him lying about it. My ex-husband was a narcissist compulsive liar and that was definitely not something I was going to put up with again.
So where I messed things up got our relationship and looking back now I know that If I ever had the chance to go back and fix things the first thing I would do is NOT Do the following. So after JW told me about the medical condition I was upset, my mind was going at a million miles an hour. He asked that until we figured things out, let’s keep our business, our business.
Well my parents happen to live next door to me and my mom had been calling me wanting to see the necklace that JW got me for Valentine’s Day. So I stepped away and went to show my mom. She could see that I was upset about something and I BLABBED pretty much everything. I did exactly what he asked me not to do. But honestly I was hurt and I really wasn’t thinking about His feelings in that moment. I was reacting.
Looking back now I have definitely learned there is some stuff you keep your business, at least until you figure it out.
So by me telling my mom about his condition she got this mental image of Him that he was somehow a bad person, I believe it was mostly about the lie and him lying in NO Way Ok, he had plenty of opportunities to fess up. Before we ever got intimate in any manner shape or form I asked him are you sure you don’t have anything (std/sti’s) and every time he always said No.
So now that I gave you the introduction to things…
JW and I ended up breaking up, but it wasn’t because we didn’t love each other. I loved his man like Crazy and I was willing to look past the medical condition. In my mind and heart I felt like he was my person . Anyways the reason that we ultimately broke up was my mother. As much as I love here she drives me b@sh1t crazy at times. (We are also a lot alike so we tend to butt heads ) my mom basically gave me an ultimatum that it was her or Him and I couldn’t have both. And seeing as how I’ve always had a close relationship with my parents and I do live next door I ended up caving after almost a week of hard core fighting with my mom and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I broke up with JW.
That was so painful and sickening and I didn’t want to do it but I felt like if I didn’t I would lose my relationship with my mother and possibly even my father, it was too much stress.
Flash forward about a month and I haven’t spoken with JW but I get a message from his mom on FB asking me some questions about him. It was kind of strange but I went with it. I got this ominous feeling like something bad was going on. I asked what happened and she said he had passed away. ****WHAT?!?!?!?!????******
I was just thinking about him last night, I hadn’t stopped thinking about him and or loving him . I was just literally stuck between a rock and a hard(headed mother) . I still snuggle under the blanket every night that smells like him.
So the night before I found out he had passed I actually thought about reaching out. I thought maybe if I give things a little time my mom will cool down. I really wanted everything to play out perfectly. But at the point it was already far too late, he was gone.
JW was only in his late 20s and died from a massive heart attack, it still isn’t real. My heart is so broken and I don’t know what to do or how to deal with all of this.
How do you get over something like this?
I know there are a bunch of different facets to things here but this is what I’ve been living the past couple months.

Hi there, Im a 26 years old man, i’ve been watching your videos a while now but never posted something. Please excuse my poor writing skills, i’m not from an english speaking country.
Today i want to share my life experience and some of the issues i’m dealing with right now and a touchy subject that i don’t see people talk about frequently.
About a year and 3 months ago, i had a virus and it caused an infection in my nasal and inner ear that won’t go away, symptoms include severe headaches, brain fog, tinnitus, heart palpitations and a lot more. I spend almost a year going to doctors and they said i had nothing wrong with me until about 3 months ago, family thought i was going crazy.
At the same time this started i quit weed and porn and sometimes i taught i was loosing it but deep down knew something was wrong, the medication did not solve the problem and i was treated bad by doctors ( im from a third world country ), lately some of the symptoms are getting better but some are still lingering.
This has impacted my business and it was just picking up, lost 3 years of hard work, found myself without a job, purposeless, without money, trying to figure out what’s going on with my health and dealing with all the doubts, fears and insecurities that have come up during this time of agony.
Now im not one to tell you i was perfect before this, on the contrary, i was anxious and had problems like most people and taught i had it rough but this, was hell, this challenged my capacity to cope, i wanted to die, i wanted it to end, i couldn’t handle it, i wanted to live so bad but not like that. It made me realize a lot of things that i’m grateful for, a lot of things that i took for granted and a lot of harsh realities. Luckily i have a brother and we’re so close so i used to dump all my shit on the poor dude haha and only him knew what was really going on. I am a very straightforward person and i talk about my insecurities and stuff normally with my friends and brother but i was just ranting on the same song and they couldn’t do anything to help at the time.
For the first time in my life i felt alone even though i’m surrounded by people, i felt fear, not from dying but from going crazy, i felt severe depression but luckily i did not isolate, i still was going out everyday because i feared staying alone. All my thoughts were about this is the end, you are young and your life is over, how are you going to marry someone and you’re incapable, how are you going to live if the symptoms continued etc …
My life flashed before me and all my insecurities came to light, one of them being the opposite gender, the time i needed love, connection, reassurance. Before this i was alone for years and i did not affect me that bad because i was working on my future and postponed all intimate relationships to ( once i’m ready ).
This led me to regret, time lost, things i did not do not the things i did, the moments i did not appreciate, the times i spent alone not with loved ones, times i was lazy, times i was upset for no reason and of course lack of trying to be in an intimate relationship because i learned that a man need his woman when he’s in his weakest moments.
Now i have 3 thing that are bothering me that i can’t find solutions for

• i can’t find the power to get back to momentum and start working again
  
• i need to be with a woman but it’s unhealthy because i’m at my weakest and it’s coming from lack and kind of selfish, and if i did i don’t want to project this kind of thinking that im stuck in right now, so how can i do it without seeming thirsty because low key i am? how can i be patient with myself while i’m feeling the opposite
  
• how can i accept what happened and get out of this cycle of victimization, self blame and move one with my life ? How can i stop emotions of self hate, anger and deception ?
  

Ps: please don’t tell me to seek professional help as my situation does not allow .

Hi I am 25f I have depression and anxiety and I was on and off therapy/meds for different periods of my life. at some point my depression had gotten really bad, along with overthinking and insomnia would trigger psychosis episodes that would last up to a week at a time. I was on Lexapro + Abilify for the past four years. When I started Lexapro I experienced psychosis also and my doc prescribed Seroquel for a while which helped me sleep and I did not experience psychosis since then
In January I quit Lexapro and Abilify without tapering off and been struggling a lot the main symptoms are crying spells and suicidality. When I look up the symptom by itself and also considering psychosis experiences in the past I kept running into search results about bipolar disorder and it had me worried what if I have bipolar. I was misdiagnosed with borderline personality in the past and getting the 'wrong treatment' really sucked. but since bipolar and sever depression have similar symptoms it should be fine right? I will see a new psychiatrist soon and I wont mention bipolar at all and see what he thinks? I was just wondering if somebody had major depressive disorder diagnosis before bipolar and what symptoms made the doctor diagnose you with bipolar? How do they tell the depressive v mania episodes are not just a part of the ups and downs of life? And how are the depressive v mania episodes different while youre on meds vs unmedicated? The more I think about it the more I see I might have bipolar disorder. Should I write down or try to identify the episodes to see how long they've lasted, maybe it will help the doctor decide?
Diagnosis and symptoms aside, I was just looking for advice or support. Ive had the psychiatrist number for almost a week and I have to make an appointment soon but I keep postponing it. I feel almost as if I dont wanna get better? its so weird and I feel guilty about it. I just felt like maybe a part of me can survive life without any drug (prescription or recreational). I keep worrying about it- if I get better what is the point because eventually I will fall into this state again and I have a deep believe inside my heart and brain that I will end up dying of suicide eventually in my life. Other than that I also feel kinda lazy, starting a new medication is a nightmare I hate all the side effects and figuring out the dosage and all the bullshit. I wish I was normal or had a healthy brain and it gives me suicidal thoughts when I think about it because is it possible to be content in life without worrying about your health all the time.

I'm alone. All my life I've been able to make friends. But I always lose them, in third grade, I lost my two best friends because they switched schools and we just fell out of touch, in fifth grade I lost all my friends except for three, though this was also because of them moving, I made more friends in sixth grade and we remained friends for a good while. Freshman year my best friend from kindergarten and I stopped talking, she texted me one day saying that she didn't actually like me, and she never wanted to talk to me again. That hurt a lot, I got over it in about eight months and eventually was able to stop thinking about her everyday, and seeing her at school didn't bother me as much.
February the next year came, one year since my previous best friend and I stopped talking, maybe it got in my head, and I had been starting to feel suffocated by my current best friend at the time, I loved her, but she kept hurting me by not acknowledging my presence when we were in groups, no matter how hard I tried to contribute to the conversation, she kept leaving me and I just wanted a break from feeling like I was nothing to her. I just wanted some space. But I totally went about it in the wrong way. I picked a fight for no reason and said some awful things that I regret with every fiber of my being. At first, we stopped talking for a couple weeks, and I made two new friends, but soon after my best friend sent me an email telling me everything that was wrong with me, overbearing, pushy, and more I can't remember well, and I agree with her now, I've grown a lot and if she had said those thing recently, I could have come to terms with what she was saying, the things she pointed out were valid points that I should have looked into more, but I got defensive, this was when I thought she didn't want to be friends anymore because it sounded like she hated so many things about me... then what was there to like?
She had texted me a night before and said that she wanted to talk to me, with a specific teacher as a mediator, I refused, I am a very very private person and I do not like to share my feelings with anyone I'm not used to being around, and I wasn't yet familiar with this teacher. I told my friend that if she really didn't want to be friends anymore, that I would respect her decision. I was trying to protect myself, trying to make sure I broke it off before she did, I hate that my brain went there immediately. I wish I had tried to fight for her. She screamed at me while I sat there in a sort of calm daze, which completely gave off the impression that I didn't care... but I cared so much, she told me that I was self-sabotaging and was throwing away something that hadn't gone bad, she was screaming so loud, a teacher came in and told he she was disrupting classes, she was escorted out of the room and I heard her crying, and as soon as she left the room I burst out in tears too.
Our mutual friends, which was only two people, but they were my only other friends, stopped talking to me, and only hung out with her, but we were never on bad terms. I am beginning to resent them though. We stopped talking completely and soon summer vacation came. My cat died, I moved out of my narcissistic mother's house to my Dad's house, and his girlfriend accused me of stealing money, which I didn't, but my father took her side anyway and the entire time I was there they kept trying to blame things on me, and continuously scorned me for being antisocial, so eventually I moved out again when my father and I got in a huge fight, and I haven't talked to him since. I worked 80 hour weeks during the summer at two jobs, trying to keep my mind off my friend, my dad, and stay away from my mom, but it was okay because I had three friends who were from Mongolia, and two friends who were from Turkey working the same exact hours as me. But near the end of the summer, my two Turkish friends and I decided to plan a trip to go to Florida, I asked my mom and after some convincing she finally agreed, we got plane tickets, booked hotels, got car rental stuff, but the night before I left, my mom told me I wasn't allowed to go anymore, she has done this multiple times, but not of this magnitude, I told her that we had already paid for everything, but she told me that if I left, she would call the cops on me.
So I texted my Turkish friends and I told them what happened, but they wouldn't believe me... they blamed me and said "did you tell your mom?" I told them that I did, but they swore that I was lying, they told everyone, including my three Mongolian friends, so in the last month that my foreign friends were in the country, they all hated me, treated me terribly, constantly gave me dirty looks, and were scornful. It broke my heart, especially because they were so kind before, if I can make the kindest person hate me... then what kind of monster am I?
Finally, I came back to school, and it was so much harder than I thought it would be, seeing her everyday, happy with her friends while I sat there, alone and in misery, I had a couple friends, but they weren't in many of my classes. I was able to hold out for so long. One day I just couldn't take it anymore. I just completely gave up, seeing her was too much to bear, she didn't care about me anymore, I didn't have any close friends, just people who wouldn't really care if I lived or died. Everyday was a struggle. I stopped going to school, stopped going to work, and just curled up in my bed and decided that I had enough. I was on a course to graduate that year, a whole year early which got screwed up as well, ruining my chances of doing so.
I skipped work for almost three weeks, but I eventually came back because my boss said she missed me and reassured me that no body was mad. I haven't been to school in about two months, I don't know how I could go back anymore, it would be humiliating... like, what would I say? What if people asked questions? I'd just come off as so pathetic. I've ruined my life, I have little chance of a diploma, and no chance if I don't go back, I've been labeled as "truancy" or whatever. I was also supposed to go to Spain and Italy for a school trip, but I wasn't able to go because of my lack of attendance, so I ended up wasting 4,000 dollars.
My two friends that I made after my last best friend and I broke up called the cops on me because she thought I was going to kill myself, and I was so mad and embarrassed I cried the whole way to the hospital with my mom in the car and was able to go back home after some tests, after I got home, I went off on them, I was so so upset, and I honestly still am, I know they were only doing what they thought best, but I told her that I didn't want to talk to her until she would apologize, because all she kept saying was "I'm sorry you feel that way" so I told her to stop apologizing for how I felt, and apologize for what she did. She didn't, so I told her that I wasn't going to talk to her until she apologized. And the other friend who was in on it too, I texted her angrily and she said "womp womp" I immediately blocked her, I was so mad, words cannot describe my level of fury at that moment. It wasn't funny, that was not the time for jokes.
I have no friends, only my narcissistic mother, I don't even have a father anymore, my oldest sister isn't in contact with him either, for a different reason... I've just been working, and trying not to think. But I can't take it anymore. Have I really screwed everything up? Is my life worth anything anymore? Friendship is dead. Family is overrated, and I have never been able to keep a friend, I do not want the pain of loosing another one, I have people who I enjoy being around, I have coworkers, I have my sisters, and I have two people I hang out with sometimes, but really, none of them are my friends. I never want to make another friend, I refuse, I know they consider me their friends, but if I put a real label on it, it'll hurt too much when they leave and begin to hate me. What do I do? Am I destined for failure? Why do I always end up alone? Not only does everyone hate me, but I'm hating myself more and more by the passing day. I don't know what to do... can somebody, anybody help me? I'm just so lost.

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Factors Leading to Limb Breakage
Even healthy trees can lose limbs due to various factors:

• Heavy Winds: Strong gusts can break branches.
• Snow and Ice: Accumulated weight can cause limbs to snap.
• Heavy Rain: Saturated soil can weaken root stability, leading to limb or whole tree failure.
• Natural Growth Patterns: Some species have branches that are more prone to breaking.
• Mechanical Damage: Physical impact from machinery or vehicles.

Preventive Measures

1. Regular Inspections:Conduct periodic inspections of your trees to identify and address potential problems early.Look for cracks, splits, or other signs of stress in branches.
2. Proper Pruning:Hire a certified arborist to prune trees correctly. Proper pruning helps maintain the tree’s structure and removes potentially hazardous limbs.Remove dead or weak branches that might not withstand strong winds or heavy loads.
3. Cabling and Bracing:For large, heavy limbs or those with poor attachment angles, cabling and bracing can provide additional support.This technique involves installing flexible steel cables or rigid rods to redistribute structural stress.
4. Tree Health Maintenance:Ensure trees are healthy by watering during dry periods, mulching to retain soil moisture, and fertilizing as needed.Prevent diseases and pests by monitoring tree health and treating any issues promptly.
5. Species Selection:Plant trees appropriate for your area and the specific site conditions.Some species are more resistant to breakage; choosing such species can reduce the risk of limb loss.
6. Avoid Mechanical Damage:Protect trees from mechanical damage caused by lawnmowers, vehicles, or construction activities.Install protective barriers if necessary to prevent physical impact.
7. Monitoring Weather Conditions:During extreme weather conditions, such as heavy winds or ice storms, take precautions by avoiding parking vehicles or placing valuables near large trees.

Responding to Limb Breakage
If a large limb does break:

• Immediate Action: Ensure safety by keeping people and pets away from the area until the limb is safely removed.
• Professional Help: Contact a professional arborist to remove the fallen limb and assess the tree for further risk of breakage.
• Inspection: Have the remaining tree inspected to ensure it is not at risk of further damage.

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I'm alone. All my life I've been able to make friends. But I always lose them, in third grade, I lost my two best friends because they switched schools and we just fell out of touch, in fifth grade I lost all my friends except for three, though this was also because of them moving, I made more friends in sixth grade and we remained friends for a good while. Freshman year my best friend from kindergarten and I stopped talking, she texted me one day saying that she didn't actually like me, and she never wanted to talk to me again. That hurt a lot, I got over it in about eight months and eventually was able to stop thinking about her everyday, and seeing her at school didn't bother me as much.
February the next year came, one year since my previous best friend and I stopped talking, maybe it got in my head, and I had been starting to feel suffocated by my current best friend at the time, I loved her, but she kept hurting me by not acknowledging my presence when we were in groups, no matter how hard I tried to contribute to the conversation, she kept leaving me and I just wanted a break from feeling like I was nothing to her. I just wanted some space. But I totally went about it in the wrong way. I picked a fight for no reason and said some awful things that I regret with every fiber of my being. At first, we stopped talking for a couple weeks, and I made two new friends, but soon after my best friend sent me an email telling me everything that was wrong with me, overbearing, pushy, and more I can't remember well, and I agree with her now, I've grown a lot and if she had said those thing recently, I could have come to terms with what she was saying, the things she pointed out were valid points that I should have looked into more, but I got defensive, this was when I thought she didn't want to be friends anymore because it sounded like she hated so many things about me... then what was there to like?
She had texted me a night before and said that she wanted to talk to me, with a specific teacher as a mediator, I refused, I am a very very private person and I do not like to share my feelings with anyone I'm not used to being around, and I wasn't yet familiar with this teacher. I told my friend that if she really didn't want to be friends anymore, that I would respect her decision. I was trying to protect myself, trying to make sure I broke it off before she did, I hate that my brain went there immediately. I wish I had tried to fight for her. She screamed at me while I sat there in a sort of calm daze, which completely gave off the impression that I didn't care... but I cared so much, she told me that I was self-sabotaging and was throwing away something that hadn't gone bad, she was screaming so loud, a teacher came in and told he she was disrupting classes, she was escorted out of the room and I heard her crying, and as soon as she left the room I burst out in tears too.
Our mutual friends, which was only two people, but they were my only other friends, stopped talking to me, and only hung out with her, but we were never on bad terms. I am beginning to resent them though. We stopped talking completely and soon summer vacation came. My cat died, I moved out of my narcissistic mother's house to my Dad's house, and his girlfriend accused me of stealing money, which I didn't, but my father took her side anyway and the entire time I was there they kept trying to blame things on me, and continuously scorned me for being antisocial, so eventually I moved out again when my father and I got in a huge fight, and I haven't talked to him since. I worked 80 hour weeks during the summer at two jobs, trying to keep my mind off my friend, my dad, and stay away from my mom, but it was okay because I had three friends who were from Mongolia, and two friends who were from Turkey working the same exact hours as me. But near the end of the summer, my two Turkish friends and I decided to plan a trip to go to Florida, I asked my mom and after some convincing she finally agreed, we got plane tickets, booked hotels, got car rental stuff, but the night before I left, my mom told me I wasn't allowed to go anymore, she has done this multiple times, but not of this magnitude, I told her that we had already paid for everything, but she told me that if I left, she would call the cops on me.
So I texted my Turkish friends and I told them what happened, but they wouldn't believe me... they blamed me and said "did you tell your mom?" I told them that I did, but they swore that I was lying, they told everyone, including my three Mongolian friends, so in the last month that my foreign friends were in the country, they all hated me, treated me terribly, constantly gave me dirty looks, and were scornful. It broke my heart, especially because they were so kind before, if I can make the kindest person hate me... then what kind of monster am I?
Finally, I came back to school, and it was so much harder than I thought it would be, seeing her everyday, happy with her friends while I sat there, alone and in misery, I had a couple friends, but they weren't in many of my classes. I was able to hold out for so long. One day I just couldn't take it anymore. I just completely gave up, seeing her was too much to bear, she didn't care about me anymore, I didn't have any close friends, just people who wouldn't really care if I lived or died. Everyday was a struggle. I stopped going to school, stopped going to work, and just curled up in my bed and decided that I had enough. I was on a course to graduate that year, a whole year early which got screwed up as well, ruining my chances of doing so.
I skipped work for almost three weeks, but I eventually came back because my boss said she missed me and reassured me that no body was mad. I haven't been to school in about two months, I don't know how I could go back anymore, it would be humiliating... like, what would I say? What if people asked questions? I'd just come off as so pathetic. I've ruined my life, I have little chance of a diploma, and no chance if I don't go back, I've been labeled as "truancy" or whatever. I was also supposed to go to Spain and Italy for a school trip, but I wasn't able to go because of my lack of attendance, so I ended up wasting 4,000 dollars.
My two friends that I made after my last best friend and I broke up called the cops on me because she thought I was going to kill myself, and I was so mad and embarrassed I cried the whole way to the hospital with my mom in the car and was able to go back home after some tests, after I got home, I went off on them, I was so so upset, and I honestly still am, I know they were only doing what they thought best, but I told her that I didn't want to talk to her until she would apologize, because all she kept saying was "I'm sorry you feel that way" so I told her to stop apologizing for how I felt, and apologize for what she did. She didn't, so I told her that I wasn't going to talk to her until she apologized. And the other friend who was in on it too, I texted her angrily and she said "womp womp" I immediately blocked her, I was so mad, words cannot describe my level of fury at that moment. It wasn't funny, that was not the time for jokes.
I have no friends, only my narcissistic mother, I don't even have a father anymore, my oldest sister isn't in contact with him either, for a different reason... I've just been working, and trying not to think. But I can't take it anymore. Have I really screwed everything up? Is my life worth anything anymore? Friendship is dead. Family is overrated, and I have never been able to keep a friend, I do not want the pain of loosing another one, I have people who I enjoy being around, I have coworkers, I have my sisters, and I have two people I hang out with sometimes, but really, none of them are my friends. I never want to make another friend, I refuse, I know they consider me their friends, but if I put a real label on it, it'll hurt too much when they leave and begin to hate me. What do I do? Am I destined for failure? Why do I always end up alone? Not only does everyone hate me, but I'm hating myself more and more by the passing day. I don't know what to do... can somebody, anybody help me? I'm just so lost.

I'm walking through a bustling underground train station. I push and shove my way through all the other commuters onto the platform. As I look around, there seems to be endless rows of platforms in both directions, stretching well into a dense fog. Further ahead, neat lines of railway tracks extend out from the fog and through the platforms. I instinctually look up at the info screen
Next train in ### minutes
I furrow my brow, squint to try and focus on the numbers but they're heavily pixelated and illegible. I look around at the other commuters, who stream onto the platform completely unaware of the anomaly. Most people are on their phone, or wearing headphones while some are talking to each other. No one seems to notice the malfunction with the screen.
That's when the absurdity of the situation clicks for me. Endless platforms, a wall of fog, unreadable numbers and people that don't care. It's all a dream. I bring my hand up to my face and pinch my nose, trying to breathe through it. An old reality check I remembered from back when I was trying to learn to lucid dream.
My heart rate jumped when I realised, that I couldn't breathe through my nose. Before I could even process this, another problem presented itself. I didn't know why I was here. I didn't know where I was going and I definitely did not know how I even got here. It seems as if reality ceased to exist right before I walked onto this platform. Just like it typically feels in a dream, you spawn in out of nowhere and don't really know what happened prior - except this wasn't a dream.
I knew I was sure of it because deep inside my bones I felt this anxious urgent message. I need to catch this train. It was a primal feeling.
At this point, my head is spinning and I need to sit down somewhere. I choose a silver bench with a middle aged woman sitting on it. She shuffles further to the left as I sit down next to her clutching my head and racking my brain to try and figure out what it is happening. This is what amnesia feels like, I thought to my self as I gnawed at scraps of messy muddled memories. Each image that came into my mind was just a fragment - A school, a library, sickeningly white walls. It hit me that I didn't even know my name. I was starting to hyperventilate but then my body kicked into autopilot. I started to take deep breaths, focusing on my diaphragm and calming myself down. It felt like I was trained to do this. I started to focus on the current situation.
Where was my ticket? Instinctually, I knew I had to have gotten one on my entry to the train station. I reached into my pockets and pulled out a scrap of paper. Scrawled in very familiar cursive:
*In case of memory loss, read the journal in your backpack*
Strange message but I didn't have any choice then to at least give the instructions a try. I removed my backpack and rummaged through it for the journal. I wouldn't really call it a backpack - more a tattered and frayed bundle of cloth that was reminiscent of a backpack. I finally found a series of small thick journals, bundled in cloth with their leather covers on the verge of disintegration. The pages still seemed in good condition though. Each cover was sequentially labelled which I'm guessing corresponded to the chronological order of the writings within.
The lady next to me was weirdly getting agitated. She kept stealing glances, her body shaking and eyes burning with a fierce rage. I slowly got up from the bench and began to step backwards. My backpack bumped into a pillar. The dull thud it made seemed to cause a drastic change to everyone around me though. They all snapped their heads, locking eyes on me and staring through my very soul. I felt exposed.
The rumble of an arriving train stole away their attention and within a split second everyone was ignoring me again, going back to their usual activities. It seriously felt like I had just imagined it and it was becoming more and more clear that I was having some sort of mental breakdown. Nevertheless, as the train slowed to a stop on the platform, I walked into it and found a seat. The train seemed to be old and new at the same time. Typical blue seats with abstract dirty patterns complete with a modern sleek interior of gentle curves clashing with a boxy dull metallic exterior and doors that looked like they belonged on a rusty submarine.
I opened the first of the journals and began to read. I soon realised that the handwriting was mine and within the next few moments I was attacked by a barrage of memories that had remained repressed and buried in the back of my mind.
*
My name is Jacob and I have been stuck here in this place called *The Limbo* for an eternity. When I say 'eternity', I don't mean it lightly. Back when I used to keep track I counted over 500 years through my wristwatch that never seemed to run out of battery. Now I know counting is meaningless. There have been periods like this where my mind falls into a deep trance and I lose my whole identity as I mindlessly wander in this place much like the entities that inhabit it. Occasional periods of lucidity breach this trance and then I find myself lost and confused. It's why I keep the journals with me. I think its some sort of psychological survival mechanism that human brains develop when faced with the infinite vastness of The Limbo.
Speaking of The Limbo, I've come to learn a few things about its nature through my stay here. Some of its been through people that I've come across (Yes others are also stuck here) and some has been through my own experiences. Perhaps the most important is the question of where I get my food and water. The answer is weird. I have never felt hungry or thirsty. The sensation of having cool water slide down my throat remains a memory so distant that it feels like the snippet of a childhood dream.
I guess the next natural topic about this place would be time. Through various experiences of mine (that you'll get to read about) and discussions with others, the leading theory of mine is that The Limbo exists outside of time itself. While I myself have fallen here sometime during 2001, I've met many others from various years like the 80s, 90s and even one recent fellow from 2043.
Most people in The Limbo eventually fall into a trance, withering away until they become one of the entities or become mere tools for them. It's probably naive but I keep going through this place with only two hopes. The first is to somehow get out of here at the right time point and see my son, who I never got to see. The second is to come out of this place and die so that I no longer have to live out the empty agony of eternity (I'll explain how you can't age or die in The Limbo later). Perhaps my hopes will dwindle as the centuries pile and I will become just like those who I look upon in pity now.
I am writing this consolidated diary of my experiences for several reasons. I'd like someone to know of my unending journey in this place. To be aware of the capacity of the human spirit to keep going in the worst of situations. I have never had a long term friend in The Limbo, but know that I consider you the reader a dear friend even if I never get to meet you because you will know my story. I'm also sharing this in hopes that there is more awareness of The Limbo. Perhaps the military and scientists can actually figure out what it is. Perhaps all of us can be brought home. Or maybe this can serve as a survival guide to those who may be unfortunate enough to fall through.
There are small holes in The Limbo. Most of them are barely large enough for a pinkie finger to fit in let alone a person, but sometimes I've come across one large enough for this journal to go through. I'm not sure what time or place these holes lead to, so the safe passage of this book into a person capable of reading it has about the same chances as me ever leaving this place.
The train I'm on supposedly leads to the edge of The Limbo, where the holes are large enough for humans to fit through. It's really more of a legend amongst the poor souls that are trapped here and I've followed trails and clues for a long time to even find this train.
There are only two ways this goes. Both outcomes would lead to you reading this book in your hands. I'll either find my way out of this hell or give up hope and slip this journal through a Hole. You will find my fate at the end.
I should stop rambling now though. It would be best to start at the very beginning.
*
I was rushing out of work in pure ecstasy. My wife had gone into labor while I was at work and been rushed to hospital. I needed to get there fast. People were glancing over at me over their cubicles in confusion as I packed up my work bag and rushed out to the elevators. I couldn't stop thinking about seeing my first son as the elevator made its way down. The elevator doors finally opened and I rushed out.
The ground entrance of the building I worked at, particularly near the lobby, is an intersection of various hallways. I was already walking to close to the wall when someone came rushing around the corner and bumped me right into the wall. I was only able to hear half their apology when I fell *through* the wall like it was just a holographic projection. In hindsight, I find it oddly funny how easy it is for a life to get ruined. Just when you think you've got it all, when everything is going smoothly, a small incident like that is enough to take it all away.
I found myself in a room that resembled a classroom. It looked as if someone who had never stepped inside a classroom was asked to imagine the space. Desks were arranged in messy uneven rows with the chairs facing various directions. The board at the front of the room was a seamless patchy mixture of both chalk and modern whiteboard and mounted way too low on the wall, nearly hugging the floor. A large teachers desk sat in the front of the room. The walls were filled with posters of absolute gibberish along with diagrams and pictures that seemed like they showed something tangible but no matter how close you looked you could never identify anything in the picture.
The initial confusion was replaced by an immense panic. My heart was drumming against my chest as I searched the room for a doorway to exit it. My mind was trying to rationalise the situation. I was trying to convince myself that this was just some old part of the building and I had fallen into a hallway instead of the wall.
I ran through the doorway at the far end of the room and found myself in a large hallway that seemed to extend forever in both directions. The walls were a muted grey and the floors were that typical dirty linoleum. Soon I would find out that the regularly spaced doorways on either side of the hall led to other nonsensical classrooms.
I ran down the hallway screaming for help in pure panic, which was a terrible mistake in hindsight. I stopped running down the hallway when I suddenly heard the distinct scratch of chalk against board. In this large empty space, the sound echoed and boomed. Since I was still refusing to buy in to the reality of the situation, my hopes were momentarily increased by the supposed presence of another person here.
I slowly walked over to the doorway that the sounds were coming from. My stomach filled with an uneasy dread. This deep primal instinct within me urged me to hold back. I peeked carefully in the classroom and saw a woman with their back turned to me drawing something on the chalkboard.
It took me a few moments to notice that it was a very realistic portrait of my face.
She was drawing lines across my throat, her long dark hair swaying as she drew in the details. The drawing was completed with a terrible slash across the throat, blood gurgling out. I was frozen in place, transfixed on the hauntingly beautiful realism of the picture.
She began to turn around slowly while humming a high pitched tune. To this day I can't describe the face I saw. It is still etched into my mind. A face full of so much hatred, so much anger that I don't think its possible for a human to make that face. It expressed an emotion beyond human understanding. No artist in the world could ever render the expression on the paper. No words could describe the pure fear that coursed through my veins as she stared at me and began to approach.
I turned around to run, only to realise that a bunch of school children had gathered around me. They were headless, the bleeding stumps dripping thick blood onto the floor in a rhythmic patter. Somehow they were laughing.
I shoved through the group and ran down the hallway. I wasn't sure where I was going. My whole world had shattered and now I was completely aimless in some nonsense dimension with horrors beyond imagination that wanted me dead.
*
The extract above is from this journal I found at the foot of a large tree on a hiking trail. It's a miracle that I spotted its faded leather cover given that it was almost buried under rotting leaves. I really don't know what to make of what I'm reading, so I'll be slowly transcribing bits of it in separate posts over the next few days.
I know this subreddit is good for this sort of stuff. I'd love if someone else could share anything they know about The Limbo. This whole journal feels like some sort of prank, but the words and memories within feel way too real.
I can't help but feel a connection to this story. My mum doesn't speak much of my Dad, who I know left before I was born. No one ever found out where he went.
I was born in 2001
X

https://brokenmbb.medium.com/the-downfall-of-an-mbb-consult-282140a9d60e
From the fine article:
I am a former management consultant who six months ago decided to leave the firm because of severe stress and signs of burnout. Six months on I am battling severe PTSD and deep depression following the whole downfall. I am currently admitted to a psychiatric ward where I receive sufficient care. For those of you who are unfamiliar with MBB, it refers to McKinsey, BCG, and Bain — the three of the world’s top consulting firms. I started with the MBB firm as a senior hire, which was unheard of at the time. Having previously spent five years at a less prestigious / tier-2 firm, I had to spend a lot of energy and time proving that I was ‘good enough’. One of my first projects was a big ‘transformation project’ for a troubled corporate. The project conditions were insane. One of my team member turned up at work shaking because she had slept on average less than 4 hours per night during the last five days. She was in charge of the financial model, which was incredibly stressful for her. She left shortly thereafter. During the project I received multiple ‘coaching’ lessons in a rather aggressive manner. I wasn’t being 80/20 enough. I was focusing on the wrong things. I wasn’t able to “crack the case” well enough. All the comments were likely fair, but the delivery format was dubious. At one occasion I broke down in front of my boss who just kept giving tense feedback. It was as if I deserved extra treatment because I was the new senior hire and didn’t necessarily know all the right ways of working. The MBB firm liked to talk about ‘homegrown’ vs ‘non-homegrown’ talent. Homegrown talent that had come ‘up through the system’ was rated higher than people like me. Even after five years I was still referred to as an external hire; not ‘homegrown’ talent. My project reviews were generally stellar and I was a high achiever who did my very best to fit in. Still, I just wasn’t homegrown. My downfall last year started with panic attacks due to a very senior client expecting us to have overnight meetings ever two weeks. Meeting start, if lucky, at 11pm and, normally, end around 4.30am. My whole life revolved around this client’s diary and created an immense sense of anxiety because I was expected to prepare contents for these meetings at extremely short notice. Often the partners involved would change their mind last minute, resulting in significant rework and hours wasted on producing the wrong content. An added stress factor was the pressure to keep the project team happy. Every week a survey was run. Junior team members would often use this as an outlet against the leadership team because they were overworked and stressed. So as the project manager I was tasked with the challenge of ‘fixing’ the engagement projects. Most of the issues were out of my control — rude clients, client not making decisions fast enough, boring topics, etc. It was almost impossible to turn around, but it still was my job to be the ‘fun uncle’ for the team and keep scores up. In essence, the pressure was four-fold. Pressure from the client to deliver a good recommendation. Pressure from partners to sell the next engagement. Pressure from the project team to fix all of their issues. And pressure from the family at home to spend more time, travel less, and be present. These four pressures broke me completely. One night I woke up with severe panic attacks because I knew I had one of these all-nighter meetings coming up, but I didn’t know when. Out of frustration I hammered my hand into the wall multiple times. The next morning I notified my manager that I had severe panic attacks. He told me to rest up. After ongoing discussion with my psychiatrist, I got my psychiatrist to send a letter to my employer, asking them to reduce my workload for a period of of time. This is what common practice in most European countries. This request didn’t go down well. As a consequence, I was pulled into a meeting by my supervisor who asked me when I would get better: “What’s your timeframe? When will you be better? We need to know now.” Of course I had no idea: It is really a question of how long is a piece of string. It depends on how well I can manage my symptoms and anxiety I was experiencing from the stressful work conditions. Shortly thereafter, I decided to resign because I couldn’t withstand the pressure anymore. They gave me six months paid leave to find a new role, which I have done. Fact of the matter is that working with an MBB ruined large parts of my life. I have been given the diagnosis PTSD following the downfall last year and how I was treated. I now suffer from severe depression and I have no confidence in my own ability to undertake complex or stressful work. More to come.

For context, Ive always had strict parents who had set high expectations for me ever since the beginning of my school years. Up until high school, I became the top of my class. It was unexpected and truly was a big shock for my parents since i was always under at the 10th spot of achievers since elementary.
Now this caused me to crave their validation even more, going for leadership roles, getting into many clubs, participating in competitions and even came to the point that my superiority complex developed. I disliked/feared failure so much, and back then, I couldn’t even imagine I could fail, or be sidelined as other than a leader by other people in class.
But my 9th year humbled me truly. It hit me that despite me having a brain, apparently people saw me as someone without a heart. Careless, selfish, prideful (or so in my perspective). So then the duality of inferiority and superiority suffered heavily inside me from those everyday classes.
All my thoughts came crashing down on me all at once. I have never actually done anything that I wanted to do. And so I’ve never really put any genuine effort nor empathy into understanding people and projects itself. I got so obsessed with being seen as someone good (because of my parents) that it became the only thing I was ever known for.

For background check my posts. This is my second fight with Insomnia/sleep disturbance after 6 years of sleeping good. The first fight started because I was injected with adrenaline during an EP study of my heart - lasted 8 months and by a miracle I got better - this was 6 years ago.
I believe this time my sleep disturbances and insomnia started after i took a high dose methyl b complex (sounds stupid but just search reddit and methyl b insomnia) - apparently there's something called overmethylation. Many people get better and a few have long lasting issues with adrenaline and sleep disturbances/insomnia - which seem permanent. I wish I'd had accidentally taken poison instead of this seemingly harmless vitamin complex.
The only thing that puts me to sleep all night is lorazepam. However I know it will eventually stop working and give me more issues so after a week using it on and off, I've decided not to take it any more.
The other med I'm prescribed is mirtazipine - 7.5mg being the dose to put me to sleep, does it help? Sometimes yes sometimes no. If it does I wake up every 3hrs and after 5hrs of total sleep, I can't sleep further. It really messes me up in the day. I can't function. I become numb.
I realised one thing in all of this. There's not one med for sleeping that doesn't have a pay off where it will mess another part of your life up or cause you other illnesses or cause withdrawal. It's a cruel condition with cruel medications.
Last night, I tried sleeping without a single med - because this was the only way I got better 6 years ago, by allowing my body to recover itself - will it recover this time? I'm not sure and I have a feeling it won't and that something is permanently damaged from the vitamins I took. I didn't feel anxious last night but you're always told you are anxious by others and that anxiety is always the root cause of insomnia - many fail to realise it's the byproduct of insomnia and not the cause - anyway I was too tired and drowsy to feel anxious. I've slept soundly in stressful situations throughout my life so how anxious could I be really?
Anyway, I did sleep (if that's what you wanna call it)... Here's how it went - I dreamt so vividly and the dream felt like it lasted 8 hours. However I realised in reality I slept only 20 mins. The whole night was spent in 20 minute sleep cycles with vivid dreams that felt like forever. I must have woken up about 15-20+ times sleeping 20-30 mins at a time.
If anyone else has gone through this then you know my pain.
I've been advised to get off reddit as its probably not helping anxiety towards sleep and the obsession around it. But this feels like more than just anxiety. I believe there's something more mechanical going on which is affecting my sleep - I assume it's to do with the nervous system - namely the system that controls fight or flight/adrenaline. If it's a biological issue, then no amount of cbt-i or sleep hygiene or whatever will help.
I've seen so many people find their magic bullet here. For some it was GABA supplements, for another it was potassium gluconate, for another it was metropalol (a beta blocker), for another it was moving to his girlfriends house and sleeping for the first time, I've even seen someone say they have to eat unhealthy foods before bed and they sleep.
I don't know if I'll ever find my magic bullet. I believe there's something physiological going on but it's beyond the understanding of modern medicine.
If you can sleep 5-6hrs naturally and consider it bad. Maybe my sleep of only 20 mins x 20 will make you appreciate your solid 4-6hrs.
Probably my last post, if this doesn't kill me indirectly (yeah I know, the whole everyone thinks insomnia will kill them) - then I'll be lucky. My mums side has cardiac issues genetically and lack of sleep increases that risk.
I've been through so much with my health and sleep was my escape. Now I don't have that. If anyone is sleeping less than 2-3hrs a night or having 20-30 mins sleeps cycles. I honestly feel your pain.
I'm not sure of the future, but right now I wish I was with my deceased relatives.
Ps I'm a husband and father of two children. This has taken all the joy away of being either. I hope it returns one day.

A little plot convinient coincidence never hurt anyone.
First
You know the drill: credit to SpacePaladin15 for the universe.
Thank you JulianSkies for proofreading.
Memory Transcription Subject: Gillab, Gojid Citizen, Husband and Father
Date [Standardized Human Time]: March 27, 2142
It was early in the morning, birds were chirping, and the air was still chilled from the night. It was a comfortable morning, especially considering what had happened yesterday. I could still feel the leftovers of a hangover in the back of my head, but it was more than manageable for me. A small headache like that wouldn’t stop me from visiting the memorial.
I still had a ways to walk before I got there, but I didn’t mind. It just let me take in the beauty of the new New York City that had been built. Even if I wasn’t a Human, I felt a sense of pride at the sight of the glistening towers and the clean streets. Despite only playing a minor role in the clean-up and reconstruction, it was certainly enough for me to feel that I had contributed enough to take pride in it.
I still cannot believe I ever even thought of hating Humans, the fact that I did still disgust me to this day. I wasn’t alone in that mindset either, billions of former soldiers, exterminators, or Human-phobes had woken up to the reality, with tens of thousands of them moving to Earth and trying to repay the Humans what they had taken. Many of them still struggled with coming to terms with their past.
It was because of them that I could become a husband to the most beautiful Gojid in the universe and father to the most rambunctious one. Without their help on the Cradle, I would have died long ago and never have been able to even see the love of my life. They inspired me to become more than just a father and husband, I was going to become just like them.
In my free time, I often worked for charities, volunteered for clean-ups, and tried my hand as a substitute teacher. Even if I wasn’t the best at it, I still enjoyed doing them. It let me feel like I was making a difference in the world, continuing the legacy that the Humans had set up. I would save as many people as I could, just like the person who saved me.
I had lost track of Billy ever since the Cradle, and the one time I had heard about him was from Naeriu telling me how Billy ended up surviving in a cabin in Alaska. It wasn’t like I didn’t try to find him, but it was a big universe, and finding one soldier seemingly determined not to be found made it frustratingly difficult.
After six years of on-and-off searching, I had finally given up on him. I had searched for his name several times on every memorial I could find, desperately hoping to find some sort of closure on his life, but in the end I was left clueless as to the fate of the man who did so much for me.
I sighed the thoughts out of my head, not wanting to have such a negative mindset when I was trying to visit some friends.
I passed under the familiar arch, taking a deep breath of the salty air as I did. After the bombs fell, the crater left behind quickly flooded with ocean water. The near-perfect bowl had become a new habitat for all manner of sea life, a symbol of how even the worst tragedy could be overcome. Surrounding the crater was a ring of stone walls, divided into sections corresponding to when and where a soldier was killed or went missing.
I navigated the massive monument with familiarity, having visited it many times before. I’ve always preferred to visit the day after the holiday, it was always almost empty as people had their fill the day before. Every year or so someone would have a similar idea to me, but it never drew from the experience.
And speaking of, a single man was standing in the exact spot I preferred to stand in. In one of his hands was a bag with the top of a bottle poking out and his other was clenched into a tight fist, his eyes were clenched tightly, his face was strained in pain and profound sadness. You didn’t need to be a detective to know that this man was hurting, whether for lost brethren in arms, lost biological brethren, or simply overwhelming sadness from the loss of life, this man was hurting.
I considered leaving the disheveled man to his devices, but some deep part of my mind told me to talk to him. He didn’t turn to face me as I got closer, he didn’t even open his eyes. It was as if nothing outside of his mind was real to him and it could all be ignored.
“Excuse me? Sir? Are you visiting someone you know?”
He still ignored me, but he loosened the death grip he had on his fist.
“It’s fine if you don’t tell me, but I find that it helps to talk about your feelings with someone else. Even if that someone else is an alien.”
Slowly the man opened his eyes and sluggishly turned to face me. Still, he refused to speak.
“It’s fine if you don’t want to speak, I can stay quiet. But if you won’t stop me, I’d like to speak at you. You don’t have to respond, sometimes it’s better to just listen anyway.”
To my surprise, the man actually spoke. His voice was rough and sad, matching the image in front of me. “Why are you here?”
I smiled and turned to face the wall of names. “I’m visiting some old friends, people who saved my life.”
I pointed a claw at the names. “Owen Oak and James Kle are the ones that I know here, but I know more at other points along the wall. Who did you know?”
The man was silent for a moment. “The same people.”
“Really? How did you know them?”
“I was a soldier. I worked with them.”
I started to nod when a thought flashed through my mind. If he knew the soldiers who worked with Billy, maybe he knew Billy himself. It didn’t seem like a stretch in my eyes, they were all part of the same squad after all.
So, despite having given up on actively searching for Billy, I decided to ask the question. “If you don’t mind me asking, do you maybe know a soldier named Billy Marsh?”
“That’s me.”
I blinked. “W-what?”
“I’m Billy Marsh.”
I stepped back and looked the man up and down. As I did, he finally looked me in the eyes. Once I saw his eyes, the color and shape, I knew with all my heart that this man was Billy Marsh. Even with the scraggly hair, patchy beard, dirty clothes, and brown-bagged drink in hand, there was no mistaking the eyes of the man who saved my life.
“Holy shit… It really is you.”
Billy took a deep drink of his liquor, barely flinching from what I could now see was Venlilian alcohol. He must have been drinking it frequently to be so used to the burning, and judging from his appearance that was no stretch.
“Yeah, it’s me. Billy Marsh, Human trash and parasite to the world.”
My mind tumbled at the words, causing me to stutter and hold out a claw in surprise. “N-now wait a second. You are anything but Human trash or a parasite. You’re a hero Billy, I know for a fact. You saved my life!”
“I’m no hero. I’ve killed so many others. It would have been better off if I never joined the military, maybe more lives could have been saved. Maybe Owen’s life could have been saved.”
He took another gulp of his drink as I spoke. “Now hold on, you saved plenty of-”
Alcohol spilled onto his shirt as he yelled. “I didn’t save anyone! Someone else could have saved so many more lives than I could! At the end of it all, when all was said and done, I was an idealistic fool and a failure and a horrible person. I’ve ended up killing more people than I’ve saved, and I’ve ruined so many lives.”
I took a stand. “Now that’s blatantly not true. Who’s telling you this? Billy, you are one of the kindest, most caring people I have ever met.”
“Was. I was one of the kindest and most caring. And you want to know why? It was because I hadn’t been woken up to just how terrible the universe really was. I mean, what could one young, dumb soldier do in the grand scheme, right? If I really wanted to help, I should have become a doctor or a fucking politician, right? But I chose to be a soldier, a useless fucking pawn that wasn’t even good at its job.”
He took another drink as I stood stunned at who Billy had become. I never could have expected the valiant, patient, caring soldier to become so volatile and angry. I had to help him. I don’t care if I have to miss a few classes, I’m rescuing this man from himself.
“Billy, can I visit sometime soon?”
He spilled a little alcohol as he pulled the bottle away quickly. “Fuck no. I don’t need to ruin your life too. Stay the hell away from me, I’m like a fucking bomb. You are just going to get hurt, it’s a miracle you didn’t the first time.”
“Well if you’re a bomb, then I’m going to disarm you. I don’t know how long you have been like this, but I’m going to heal you.”
He pointed a finger at my chest. “Then I’m just going to fight back. I’m not letting you anywhere near me.”
I pointed right back. “You don’t get to make that decision. It’s my life, and I am choosing to help you.”
“You are going to regret it. I say that with one hundred percent absolute certainty.”
“We won't know until we try.”
Billy took a step back, placed a hand on his head and growled. “You know what? Fine. Try your luck. It’s your life, right? But when you see just how helpless you are to help me, don’t expect to get your wasted time back. I don’t know what you think you can do, but give it a try! It’s still early in the morning, so why don’t we head on back to my place so you can work whatever magic you think you have.”
Billy didn’t wait for a response and stormed off to the exit without another word. I watched him for a long moment before sighing deeply. I don’t know the exact details of what happened to him, but with what Naeriu told me and the names on the memorial I could piece together some vague details. It sounded like Billy had gone through hell, and now he thinks he deserves it.
I clenched my claw in determination before jogging to catch up to Billy. I had some calls to make on the way over to his house knowing just how much work I was going to have to do to help the man who saved me.

Sorry this is gonna be a rant, but I’m quite pissed off since yesterday that we got a potential leak that Nettles won’t be in the show and that Rhaena will take her place.
I’m one of the few here that remains optimistic about season 2 and I still believe the show is gonna deliver.
However, I’m quite worried and disappointed about the Nettles/Rhaena situation and it’s not even from a greenie point of view. It’s easy to like Nettles as a greenie because she is a point of tension between Daemon and Rhaenyra and it showed how horrible Rhaenyra had become.
But I mostly pissed off because of Rhaena and Nettles’ characters don’t blend well together.
Rhaena is a sweet, shy, and not confident person as we have seen in season 1. It clashes with her sister Baela who is a Daemon 2.0 without all the grooming. Rhaena having Sheepstealer and taking the Nettles’ storyline makes her another badass confident dragon rider which doesn’t go well with her established personality, and it makes her more like Baela, which I don’t like.
Rhaena’s failure of not being able to claim a dragon is also a huge part of her personality, and I would have liked to see that explored a bit more and not being resolved so easily by her claiming a dragon. Her finally being able to hatch Morning is quite beautiful for her character, and it symbolizes a glimpse of hope for the Targs while also being a deep fear inside the kingdom after such a disastrous war. I also would have loved to see Rhaena develop a more political personality, with her being sent away to the Vale. Almost like Sansa.
But more importantly, Nettles not existing cancels out what made her singular : a commoner, who we had doubts of her Valyrian ancestry, that was able to use her wits and intelligence to claim such a powerful dragon. Sure we have the other dragonseeds but her non Valyrian looks and cunningness are what made her the most intriguing dragonseed.
She was a representative of the smallfolk who was thrusted into a world of chaos. She still remained fierce and loyal even though she was targeted by Rhaenyra. People may argue that we will have that with Addam, but Addam will become a legitimate Velaryon. Nettles remained a commoner until the end and that made her special.
I will also add that the bond she shared with Sheepstealer will be lessened because Rhaena is a highborn lady. There’s something quite fascinating about a wild dragon bonding with a commoner who we have no idea who is her Valyrian ancestors.
And I am also supposed to believe that Daemon will have a change of heart with Rhaena and be a great father to her after all that we have seen ? And that Rhaena doesn’t resent her father a little bit ? What would have been great is Daemon being intrigued by Nettles because we have no idea if she was Valyrian and that would have shaken up his whole beliefs system. Which would have been a very good reason why Rhaenyra was so harsh to Nettles, even without the cheating.
Anyways sorry for the rant but Nettles was one of my favorite team black characters because she was so intriguing. Her potentially not being in the show makes me even more apathetic to the team black faction. I’m not only a team green fan, I want to further love the team black dynamics and characters. But without Nettles and with Rhaena becoming a generic badass highborn dragon rider, it feels like a lost cause.
What are your thoughts about all of this ?

i'm a bit confused, after months of almost begging my doctor for a PSG sleep study because all other attempts to feel better failed i finally got one, the results are in: i have mild central sleep apnea (AHI 8.0).
i suffer from all the sleep apnea symptoms but i don't fall asleep when i watch tv for example.
They said that based on the study that my issue is not caused by central sleep apnea but seems to be more mentally tired instead of being caused by sleep.
first of all: how do i know if me feeling tired is because of sleep apnea or mentally?
second of all: i stop breathing 8 times per hour, how does that NOT impact how you feel the next day? It seems my deep sleep and rem sleep total time is just fine but looking at the data my sleep seems to be chaotic.
these are the results they send me: https://ibb.co/LZG95ZQ
https://ibb.co/RjyYPqY
https://ibb.co/MRcMwSS
I'm getting desperate, the PSG was my final hope in finding out what my symptoms are.
all bloodworks came out fine, heart is fine as well. my diet is fine too. i workout as well.

First: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/14vo5lb/troublemakers_deaths_pity/
*previous:* https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/1crq34h/troublemakers_buried_secrets_bolster_the_weak/
......
Go'mon strutted around the command center, a cape of deep purple silk flowing about his shoulders as he wore his gilded armor. An ornate helmet underneath one arm, the faceplate forged into the visage of a snarling Rak'nal beast. He peered over the shoulders of drone pilots, observing the carnage on the streets in front of the mansion. His black scimitar hung at his belt, the palm of his war gauntlet resting on the hilt, eyebrow crests rising as he saw the expeditionary general's Buzzard explode.
"Casualty report on General Gra'vos?"
He stated to the small Geknosian woman who deftly piloted her drone closer to the wreckage to pull data from the onboard recorder. Her eyes sparkled, reflected in the screen as the data was streamed directly into her brain through a neural implant.
"Deceased, Just like you planned, his provided pleasure slave threw him from the craft and stole the det-sphere you clipped to his belt. You seem to know a lot about how these humans fight."
Go'mon touched the small grooves underneath the elastomer skin of his face where that parasite had shot him with a concealed gun. He laughed bloodily and purred.
"Failure is the greatest teacher in the universe, these parasites have taught me everything they know. Now we just need to see what their true fighting strength is."
"Understood sir, orders?"
"Get a view on the inner courtyard and report to the commanders of the second and third waves their positions and weaponry."
A young lieutenant called out.
"Sir! Twelve UHM-60 Blackhawks en-route to the enemy base! Advise!"
Go'mon stalked over, peering over the satellite observer's shoulder as he followed a chevron of twelve helicopters loaded down with ancient, obsolete human war-droids. He rapped the claws of his war gauntlet against the handle of his scimitar with a purr.
"Send orders to Commander Mar'tek to equip three of his Gallicks with anti-air weaponry, and orders for Commander Rak'don to equip his light attack craft with visual lock on missiles."
"Yes sir, relaying orders now."
Go'mon patted his subordinate on the shoulder hard enough to make them wince as he stepped back to gaze up at the massive map of Golgotha on the big screen. Small purple dots converging on a black dot that symbolized the human base of operations. He noticed that Mar'tek's forces were delayed, having only made it roughly halfway to their staging area. Walking over to the Comm's desk he asked.
"What's taking Commander Mar'tek so long to get into position?"
"A small group of human Saboteurs dropped a pair of buildings across the roadway, they're still clearing the rubble sir."
Go'mon nodded, picking idly at his metal teeth with the sharp point of his war gauntlet's index finger.
"Hm... I thought the parasite's response was oddly punctual, color me surprised they had the wherewithal to keep scouts. Move Mar'tek to the rear of the attack plan and tell Rak'don he's up next."
"Yessir!"
Go'mon chuckled haughtily, exiting the command room and returning to his field office. Setting his helmet on top of his desk he picked up the communication stick for sylva.
"Sylva, Would you kindly deal with that gate once you've landed?~"
There was a pause before.
"I'm too injured to follow that order sir."
Go'mon raised an eyebrow crest at the monotone voice that echoed back through the device.
"you've never refused a command before darling, would you kindly take care of the gate?"
The pause was longer this time, much longer this time. Then, a different, much younger voice came through, filled with fear, but also tainted with determination.
"Fuck you, Go'mon. These are our friends."
The sound of penny whistles and drums accompanied the words before the comms device popped in his gauntlet with the sound of a musket shot. Impossibly thick gray smoke pulsing from the speaker as he snarled and tossed it to the side.
"Bobby, Would you be a dear and retrieve your sister for me?"
The almost seven foot tall brute slowly nodded, eyes dull behind his ceramite mask as he stomped from the command center, bulky combat armor clattering and clunking with each step. Go'mon pressed his metal teeth together with a hiss. That damned warrior corrupted everything he touched with delusions of free will. Go'mon grabbed a fungal cigar from the box General Da'kos had given him as a thank you gift. The sweet, smoky flavor filling his maw as he lit it with the glowing hot blade of his gauntlet's thumb. He relaxed into his chair, flicking his cape out from beneath him as he enjoyed the cigar to relieve some momentary stress. His body suddenly flared with tingling power as the voice of Conquest growled in his ear.
"Kill that boy before he realises your plan. if he finds out your intentions he won't hold back."
Go'mon puffed the cigar and pulled it from his lips, letting it burst into purple flames and crumble away into cinders as he rose from his chair. He stepped out into the command center and commanded.
"Get me a buzzard to that battlefield, Order's from Conquest herself!"
There was a moment of silence as he let his aura roll over the command room, several of the comms officers immediately setting up a Buzzard for his departure.
...
Dust kicked off the ground as Drake's jump pack slowed his fall meters above the ground, He hit the ground and tore it from his back, whipping it into a group of soldiers and hitting it with a jet of pale flames.
The pack detonated in ball of orange fire that vaporized the soldiers, his cape fluttering in the backdraft before he whipped his sword from it's sheath, keen edges wreathed in pale flames as he took a Geknosian's arm off at the elbow as they tried to stuff a blaster pistol in his face. He snatched the blaster pistol from the air, using it to put a kinetic bolt into the faceplate of a powerarmored soldier with a Warhammer, Crumpling it inwards as he slid a foot back, another warhammer crashing into the ground where he'd just been standing. Another kinetic bolt tore off the soldier's pauldron as the hammer swung up at his face, making him reel back as another hammerhead caught him at the small of his back and knocked the air from his lungs. Another hammer slammed into his faceplate, forcing him to kick himself into a flip to land back on his feet. Ears ringing he deflected a Warhammer with his sword before putting another blaster bolt into the wielder's faceplate. But even as they fell back, another hammerblow hit the side of his helmet and smacked him down. Drake rolled out of the way as twenty millimeter high-explosive rounds shredded his assailants, allowing him to get to his feet as the war-bots formed a lethal semicircle, sending high explosive firepowerinto the rear column of the Geknosian assault at a blistering pace. Drake shook his head clear and vaulted over the back of one, hearing it's gun fall silent as he landed in it's cone of fire. Several flowing chops decimated a small squad of Geknosians as he tried to fight his way to the center of the column where the Gallicks hammered the gate with kinetic penetrators. The armored gate shuddering with each blow as Drake dodged war gauntlets and hammers, retaliating with fast slashes and blinding thrusts. Purple blood drenching him as his heart began to pound with battle lust.
He heard a mighty roar and crackle as one of the flying machines opened up with it's chin gun, harassing a gallick with 20mm High explosive rounds to get it's attention off the gates. It's shadow passing overhead with a Buzzard in pursuit as it slalomed low through the buildings to come back for another gun run. There was a ground shaking Boom! as something exploded beyond the rooftops, a Buzzard, smoking from one engine buzzing overhead and away from the battlefield. Drake quickly returned his focus to the battlefield, Smacking a Warhammer to the side with the blaster pistol before thrusting the blade right beneath the soldier's chin, twisting, and pulling free as a war-bot fell forward, a molten pit of slag glowing in it's back as he turned his head to face another column of armor and armored soldiers as they rounded onto the battlefield, a Buzzard painted the deepest, most royal purple he'd ever seen hovered low in front of them.
A geknosian in gold and purple armor fell from the open door, Cape of purple silk flowing behind them as they landed with one palm against the ground, Dark scimitar slashed out to the side as a crescent blade of purple energy was slung straight at Drake. Death's chosen slashed upward at the crescent, but it flowed around his blade, cutting across his chest and bringing with it a foul, draining weakness as a cold, familiar voice called out.
"That one's mine boys!~ all mine!~"
Drake hadn't recognized Go'mon in the ornate armor, but now there was no mistaking it. He tried to take a step forward but his legs buckled beneath him, sending him to his knees as a festering cold spread from the wounds made by the crescent blade that never touched his armor. He looked in confusion at his sword as the pale flames flickered out, then up just as Go'mons armored shin cracked into the side of his helmet, flinging him through a building as his mind reeled with confusion. He pulled himself from the rubble around him, stumbling to the side as a blade of purple energy sliced through the rubble he'd just been buried in without leaving a mark. He tossed the blaster pistol to the side, bringing the free hand to his mouth, intending to rip a ring off with his teeth. But as Go'mon slung another blade of purple energy with a cackle, He missed the ring, biting off his left index finger, ring and all as a boost of power burned the creeping cold away. He spit the severed digit to the ground as the ring still on it puffed into smoke.
"Feeling weak boy?!~ like your power's been drained?~"
Go'mon purred as he took a step forward, aura swelling with power as he held up the black sword.
"The blade of greed will do that if you let it touch you~"
Go'mon took an unfamiliar stance, Blade arched over his head and pointed down as he fell into a low, wide stance, one arm pushed forward as the blades on his war gauntlet's fingers glowed orange with heat. Drake fell into his peasants guard, gripping his sword in two hands as he glared at Go'mon. His gaze flickered off go'mon for a split second as he thought of everyone still in the mansion and the Geknosian chosen surged forward in a flash of purple light to run drake through before kicking him through the back wall of the building, Drake's power draining away like the blood pouring from the hole in his Lorica. He barely deflected Go'mons black blade as Conquest's chosen surged forward with a brutal slash, unable to focus for the split second required to dissipate a ring and refresh his power. Go'mons aura blooming with power with each blow of that black blade. Drake burst through a wall and into an empty street, tumbling ass over head as he desperately held onto his sword.
Angry red blood spilled from the hole in his armor as he got his elbows under him, a pair of golden boots clomping into view as Go'mon gloated, a softly flickering bloom of pale purple flames in his palm.
"All this power, and you don't even know how to properly control or wield it... Don't worry, you won't have it long~"
Drake manage to dissipate the remaining rings on his left hand, an intoxicating burst of power allowing him to launch himself back away from Go'mon as his wounds knitted closed, severed finger growing back with a crunching, fleshy noise. He could feel Go'mons grin behind the snarling visage of his helmet as he fell into a peasants guard, feeling far too weak for having removed five rings. The two stared at each other silently, one of the flying machines spinning to the ground before exploding into a fireball behind Go'mon. Drake fet a deathly calm fall over him as he twisted his sword up into a high guard.
He had to make it back to his people, no matter what. The thumb and pinkie ring on his right hand puffed into smoke as he felt those corvid like wings form at his back, a cold cage of festering ice around the burning sun of rage in his heart. Go'mon took a simple offensive guard, twirling the scimitar with obvious skill in a figure eight in front of him.
The two chosen launched themselves at each other, Drake wreathed in black smoke as Go'mon exploded with pale purple light; the pavement cracking beneath their feet with the violence of the action.
...
Martha tended to the mounting wounded in the infirmary as fast as she could, back splayed open as small gossamer arms allowed her to work on several wounded at once. Many of the ex-slave women helped, binding wounds with clean bandages and splinting broken limbs like they had back at the plantations. Hearing the large wooden doors of the ballroom infirmary slam open, she looked up as Destrier and Caz hauled in a pale remin and a Brutalized young woman. Keeping one hand holding a bundle of gauze against the bleeding wound she was attempting to close up, The young man looking up at her with fear, pain, and hope on his face as he helped hold the gauze down. Pointing to two empty beds she called out.
"Set them there! Where's Drake?! We could really use the walking embodiment of Death right now!"
Destrier hoarsely called back, setting Remin into a bed as the old man struggled to keep his eyes open.
"He's fighting his way towards us from the rear!"
Caz helped the battered young woman into a bed where she curled into the fetal position before the Markswoman swept back out of the infirmary, Huntress humming as she slammed a new flechette into the barrel. Martha continued tying off tattered blood vessels, trying to keep the young man from bleeding out as Cassius appeared next to her, shaking his hands dry after scrubbing them with antiseptic to help close up the gnarly gash in the stomach of the wounded man behind her. Martha's heart pounded in her throat as she finally managed to sew the wound closed before hitting the fighter with a sedative to ease his pain and knock him out. She wanted to cry but held in her tears as she turned around to focus on the same patient as Cassius, but even as she did, the young man placed a bloodied palm on her forearm. She felt a lone tear drip down her snout as she looked at the mans deathly stillness, eyes closed in quiet acceptance of his fate, a grim smile on his face.
Her legs felt weak beneath her as she leaned on Cassius, watching Destrier rush out of the infirmary out of the corner of her eye.
"we're going to need a miracle if we want to make it out of this alive..."
She whimpered as the din of battle echoed dully from outside. That was when a wounded man sat up, grunting as he held the bandages across his torso. She rushed over to stop him from tumbling out of bed when he simply fell through the floor, an odd superposition happening where he was there and not for a split second. But when it faded, there was a note left on the ground, scrawled in blood red, blotchy words.
"I'll be back, and I won't be alone."
Martha could only hope that was true as she turned to continue tending the wounded, Despair filling her heart as more wounded were brought in from the ramparts.
...
Halcyon held the gate, rifle spitting hatred from behind one of the wall's crenellations as one of his Hellions fell next to him, skull split open by gauss slug. Halcyon glanced down at the gate where Thomas and another hulking agri-droid held it against the wall, the gate rattling with each impact of a Gallick's kinetic penetrator, apples of sunlight spreading across the ground where they'd simply sailed straight through. The Geknosian reinforcements turning an already blistering hail of various projectiles and beams becoming an impassable force as several of their light cruisers fired on the helicopters that circled over the battlefield. Missiles streaking upwards and shredding the soft-skinned aircraft, forcing them to take evasive maneuvers and stop the pulse-pounding barrage of their rotary cannons. Halcyon's attention was drawn to the sky as an impossibly loud crash of steel on steel accompanied a streak of pale purple light and void black as they shot into the sky. The black streak getting slammed down by a brutal, unseen strike that made Halcyon's heart leap into his throat. What kind of monster could go toe to toe with Drake, and appear to be winning.
Halcyon, peaked past the cranellation he had his back against, a gauss slug taking his eye out and making him shout in pain as he jerked his head back. Ripping a bundle of gauze from his medi-pack, he rolled it out and bunched it up, pressing it against his vacant and shattered eye socket as a bout of lightheadedness turned the edges of his reduced vision dark.
One of his men crouched beside him flinching when chips of stone exploded from the crenellation they'd been taking cover behind, some sort of heavy weapon having been aimed at them as they darted for Halcyon. Halcyon looked into their eyes, face just as dismayed as he felt, their words barely audible over the din of battle.
"what do we do, sir...?"
Halcyon let out a sigh, shouting over the roar of gunfire.
"Pull back! secure the mansion!"
The fighters didn't need to be told twice as the ramparts were abandoned, leaping from the walls to sprint back to the mansion, The agri-bots forming a phalanx behind them to cover their retreat. But Halcyon couldn't help but feel this is exactly what the Geknosians wanted.
But even as the fighters swarmed into the Mansion, Two figures walked past them.
A hulking man in dark samurai armor wielding an lmg and a smaller woman with a flowing furred cloak and white mask, carrying an ornate rail rifle walked past them through the doors.
Halcyon watched in dismayed confusion as Caz and Destrier stepped out into the sunlight, a jump pack freshly mounted on Destriers back beside his kanabo. Another smaller figure appeared as if from thin air, Cassius spinning the weight at the end of a chain attached to a kama menacingly as the doors closed behind them, massive metal shutters sealing them out as the mansion was locked down. He couldn't help but smile grimly.
There was a reason they were Drake's friends, and it wasn't because they were the best fighters.
It was because when everyone else ran away, they ran towards the fight... regardless of their own safety.
......
Part 109: will be linked here upon release.

Stress is an inevitable part of life, but its excessive presence can wreak havoc on our physical and mental well-being. Recent research has shed light on the profound effects of stress on our health, highlighting the need for effective management strategies. In this blog post, we’ll delve into the latest findings on stress and explore actionable steps to mitigate its detrimental impacts.
Understanding the Science Behind Stress: Recent studies have deepened our understanding of the physiological mechanisms underlying stress. Cortisol, commonly known as the stress hormone, plays a central role in the body’s stress response. Chronic stress leads to persistently elevated cortisol levels, triggering a cascade of negative effects such as increased blood glucose, insulin resistance, and abdominal weight gain.
Moreover, stress has been linked to various health issues, including cardiovascular diseases, immune system dysfunction, digestive disorders, and mental health conditions like anxiety and depression. The latest research underscores the urgent need to address stress as a significant contributor to these health problems.
Latest Research Insights: Recent studies have provided compelling evidence of the detrimental effects of stress on health. One study published in The Journal of the American Medical Association found that chronic stress significantly increases the risk of developing cardiovascular diseases, including heart attacks and strokes.
Furthermore, research published in Psychoneuroendocrinology revealed a strong correlation between chronic stress and immune system dysfunction, making individuals more susceptible to infections and inflammatory conditions.
Another groundbreaking study in Frontiers in Psychiatry highlighted the role of stress in exacerbating mental health disorders, emphasizing the importance of early intervention and effective stress management techniques.
Effective Strategies for Stress Management: Fortunately, there are several evidence-based strategies for managing stress and improving overall well-being. These include:

1. Mindfulness and Meditation: Engaging in mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, can help reduce stress levels and promote relaxation.
2. Regular Exercise: Physical activity has been shown to alleviate stress by releasing endorphins, the body’s natural mood boosters. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week.
3. Quality Sleep: Prioritize sleep hygiene by establishing a consistent sleep schedule, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, and optimizing your sleep environment to ensure restorative sleep.
4. Nutritious Diet: Consuming a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains can support your body’s ability to cope with stress. Avoid excessive caffeine, sugar, and processed foods, which can exacerbate stress levels.
5. Supplements: Certain supplements, such as ashwagandha, magnesium, and omega-3 fatty acids, have been shown to have stress-reducing properties. Consult with a healthcare professional before incorporating supplements into your routine.
6. Social Support: Cultivate strong social connections with friends, family, and community members to provide emotional support and encouragement during stressful times.

In conclusion, the latest research underscores the significant impact of stress on our health and well-being. By understanding the science behind stress and adopting effective management strategies, we can mitigate its negative effects and improve overall quality of life. Prioritizing self-care, seeking social support, and implementing healthy lifestyle habits are key steps towards achieving resilience in the face of stress. Take proactive steps today to protect your health and well-being for years to come.

Hi everyone!
Today, let's talk about inflammation markers. Inflammation is your body's way of fighting off things like infections or injuries. However, if it sticks around too long, it can be a sign of something more serious. Two important blood tests that check for inflammation are the CRP test and the ESR test. Let’s break down what these tests are, what they measure, and why they matter.

What is Inflammation?

Inflammation is how your body responds to things like infections or injuries. It helps to heal and protect your body. But if inflammation lasts too long, it can cause health problems.

Key Inflammation Markers:

1. CRP (C-Reactive Protein)

• What It Measures: CRP is a protein made by your liver when there's inflammation in your body.
• Normal Range: Less than 10 mg/L.
• High Levels Mean: High CRP levels mean there’s inflammation, which could be from an infection, arthritis, or other conditions.

2. ESR (Erythrocyte Sedimentation Rate)

• What It Measures: ESR measures how quickly red blood cells settle at the bottom of a test tube. Faster settling means more inflammation.
• Normal Range: 0-22 mm/hr for men and 0-29 mm/hr for women.
• High Levels Mean: High ESR levels mean there’s inflammation, which could be due to infections, autoimmune diseases, or other conditions.

Why These Tests Matter:

• Early Detection: These tests can catch inflammation early, even before you feel sick.
• Monitor Conditions: They help doctors keep track of chronic (long-term) diseases.
• Guide Treatment: High levels can help doctors figure out what’s wrong and how to treat it.

Conditions with High Inflammation Markers:

1. Infections: Like bacterial or viral infections.
2. Autoimmune Diseases: Conditions where your immune system attacks your own body, like rheumatoid arthritis.
3. Chronic Diseases: Long-term conditions like heart disease or diabetes.
4. Cancer: Some cancers can cause higher inflammation.
5. Injury and Surgery: These can temporarily raise inflammation levels.

Tips for Reducing Inflammation:

1. Healthy Diet: Eat lots of fruits, veggies, whole grains, and lean proteins. Avoid junk food and too much sugar.
2. Exercise Regularly: Stay active to help lower inflammation.
3. Healthy Weight: Keep a healthy weight to reduce inflammation.
4. Manage Stress: Try to relax with activities like meditation or yoga.
5. Avoid Smoking and Limit Alcohol: Both can increase inflammation.
6. Get Enough Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night.

When to Get Tested:

• Symptoms: If you have unexplained fever, tiredness, joint pain, or swelling.
• Chronic Conditions: If you have a long-term inflammatory disease, get tested regularly.
• Check-Ups: Get tested during routine health check-ups if you have risk factors for chronic diseases.

Conclusion:

Understanding CRP and ESR tests can help you and your doctor spot and manage health issues early. Keeping inflammation in check with a healthy lifestyle can improve your overall health. If you have any questions or want to share your experiences with inflammation markers, leave a comment. Your story could help someone else.
Stay healthy and informed!

Hello everyone!
Today, we’re focusing on an important topic - celiac disease and gluten sensitivity. These conditions can significantly impact your health and quality of life. Understanding the blood tests involved in diagnosing these conditions is crucial for managing symptoms and maintaining good health. Let’s explore what celiac disease and gluten sensitivity are, the key blood tests for diagnosis, and how to manage these conditions.

What is Celiac Disease?

Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder where the ingestion of gluten (a protein found in wheat, barley, and rye) leads to damage in the small intestine. This damage can cause a variety of symptoms and prevent the absorption of essential nutrients.

What is Gluten Sensitivity?

Non-celiac gluten sensitivity (NCGS) is a condition where individuals experience symptoms similar to celiac disease when consuming gluten, but without the autoimmune response or intestinal damage seen in celiac disease.

Key Blood Tests for Celiac Disease:

1. tTG-IgA (Tissue Transglutaminase Antibodies)

• What It Measures: This test checks for antibodies against tissue transglutaminase, an enzyme that is attacked in celiac disease.
• Why It’s Important: It is the most common and accurate blood test for diagnosing celiac disease.
• What Positive Results Mean: A positive result usually indicates celiac disease, but further testing (like an intestinal biopsy) is often needed for confirmation.

2. EMA (Endomysial Antibodies)

• What It Measures: This test detects antibodies against the endomysium, a part of the connective tissue.
• Why It’s Important: It is highly specific for celiac disease and is often used to confirm a positive tTG-IgA test.
• What Positive Results Mean: A positive result strongly indicates celiac disease.

3. DGP (Deamidated Gliadin Peptide Antibodies)

• What It Measures: This test identifies antibodies against deamidated gliadin peptides, which are components of gluten.
• Why It’s Important: It can be useful in diagnosing celiac disease, especially in children under 2 years old or in cases where tTG-IgA is inconclusive.
• What Positive Results Mean: A positive result can suggest celiac disease, but further testing is often required.

Additional Tests:

1. Total Serum IgA

• What It Measures: This test measures the total level of Immunoglobulin A (IgA) in the blood.
• Why It’s Important: Some people with celiac disease have IgA deficiency, which can lead to false-negative results on tTG-IgA and EMA tests. Measuring total IgA ensures accurate interpretation of these tests.

2. Genetic Testing (HLA-DQ2 and HLA-DQ8)

• What It Measures: This test checks for specific gene variants associated with celiac disease.
• Why It’s Important: The presence of HLA-DQ2 or HLA-DQ8 genes can support a diagnosis of celiac disease, but their absence can effectively rule it out.

Managing Celiac Disease and Gluten Sensitivity:

1. Gluten-Free Diet: The primary treatment for both celiac disease and gluten sensitivity is a strict gluten-free diet. Avoid all foods containing wheat, barley, and rye.
2. Nutritional Support: Work with a dietitian to ensure you’re getting all necessary nutrients, as celiac disease can lead to nutrient deficiencies.
3. Regular Monitoring: Regular follow-ups with your healthcare provider to monitor your condition and ensure your intestines are healing.
4. Read Labels: Always read food labels carefully to avoid hidden sources of gluten.
5. Support Networks: Join support groups or online communities for people with celiac disease or gluten sensitivity for tips, recipes, and emotional support.

When to Get Tested:

• Symptoms: If you experience symptoms like chronic diarrhea, abdominal pain, bloating, fatigue, or unexplained weight loss after consuming gluten.
• Family History: If you have a first-degree relative with celiac disease, as it can run in families.
• Associated Conditions: If you have other autoimmune disorders, as celiac disease is more common in individuals with conditions like type 1 diabetes or thyroid disease.

Conclusion:

Understanding the blood tests for celiac disease and gluten sensitivity is essential for diagnosis and management. If you suspect you have celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, talk to your healthcare provider about getting tested. Once diagnosed, a strict gluten-free diet can help manage symptoms and improve your quality of life. If you have any questions or personal experiences with celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, share them in the comments. Your insights can help others on their journey to better health.
Stay healthy and informed!
Hello everyone!
Today, we’re focusing on an important topic - celiac disease and gluten sensitivity. These conditions can significantly impact your health and quality of life. Understanding the blood tests involved in diagnosing these conditions is crucial for managing symptoms and maintaining good health. Let’s explore what celiac disease and gluten sensitivity are, the key blood tests for diagnosis, and how to manage these conditions.

What is Celiac Disease?

Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder where the ingestion of gluten (a protein found in wheat, barley, and rye) leads to damage in the small intestine. This damage can cause a variety of symptoms and prevent the absorption of essential nutrients.

What is Gluten Sensitivity?

Non-celiac gluten sensitivity (NCGS) is a condition where individuals experience symptoms similar to celiac disease when consuming gluten, but without the autoimmune response or intestinal damage seen in celiac disease.

Key Blood Tests for Celiac Disease:

1. tTG-IgA (Tissue Transglutaminase Antibodies)

• What It Measures: This test checks for antibodies against tissue transglutaminase, an enzyme that is attacked in celiac disease.
• Why It’s Important: It is the most common and accurate blood test for diagnosing celiac disease.
• What Positive Results Mean: A positive result usually indicates celiac disease, but further testing (like an intestinal biopsy) is often needed for confirmation.

2. EMA (Endomysial Antibodies)

• What It Measures: This test detects antibodies against the endomysium, a part of the connective tissue.
• Why It’s Important: It is highly specific for celiac disease and is often used to confirm a positive tTG-IgA test.
• What Positive Results Mean: A positive result strongly indicates celiac disease.

3. DGP (Deamidated Gliadin Peptide Antibodies)

• What It Measures: This test identifies antibodies against deamidated gliadin peptides, which are components of gluten.
• Why It’s Important: It can be useful in diagnosing celiac disease, especially in children under 2 years old or in cases where tTG-IgA is inconclusive.
• What Positive Results Mean: A positive result can suggest celiac disease, but further testing is often required.

Additional Tests:

1. Total Serum IgA

• What It Measures: This test measures the total level of Immunoglobulin A (IgA) in the blood.
• Why It’s Important: Some people with celiac disease have IgA deficiency, which can lead to false-negative results on tTG-IgA and EMA tests. Measuring total IgA ensures accurate interpretation of these tests.

2. Genetic Testing (HLA-DQ2 and HLA-DQ8)

• What It Measures: This test checks for specific gene variants associated with celiac disease.
• Why It’s Important: The presence of HLA-DQ2 or HLA-DQ8 genes can support a diagnosis of celiac disease, but their absence can effectively rule it out.

Managing Celiac Disease and Gluten Sensitivity:

1. Gluten-Free Diet: The primary treatment for both celiac disease and gluten sensitivity is a strict gluten-free diet. Avoid all foods containing wheat, barley, and rye.
2. Nutritional Support: Work with a dietitian to ensure you’re getting all necessary nutrients, as celiac disease can lead to nutrient deficiencies.
3. Regular Monitoring: Regular follow-ups with your healthcare provider to monitor your condition and ensure your intestines are healing.
4. Read Labels: Always read food labels carefully to avoid hidden sources of gluten.
5. Support Networks: Join support groups or online communities for people with celiac disease or gluten sensitivity for tips, recipes, and emotional support.

When to Get Tested:

• Symptoms: If you experience symptoms like chronic diarrhea, abdominal pain, bloating, fatigue, or unexplained weight loss after consuming gluten.
• Family History: If you have a first-degree relative with celiac disease, as it can run in families.
• Associated Conditions: If you have other autoimmune disorders, as celiac disease is more common in individuals with conditions like type 1 diabetes or thyroid disease.

Conclusion:

Understanding the blood tests for celiac disease and gluten sensitivity is essential for diagnosis and management. If you suspect you have celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, talk to your healthcare provider about getting tested. Once diagnosed, a strict gluten-free diet can help manage symptoms and improve your quality of life. If you have any questions or personal experiences with celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, share them in the comments. Your insights can help others on their journey to better health.
Stay healthy and informed!

This is what I posted on the board game community in Korea, and I'm also translating and posting it on Reddit!
The translation and text inspection took a long time, but I'm posting it because I think croquinol gamers from other countries will enjoy reading it.
(I don't know how to put pictures in between when writing on Reddit. If you're curious about pictures while reading, please visit the link below. You may not understand Korean, but pictures are visual information so they can be understood universally)
https://boardlife.co.kbbs_detail.php?tb=community_post&bbs_num=26766
Not long ago in early May, I ran a croquinol booth for students and parents at a Children's Day event (it was held on the grounds of the University of Education)
The head of the school affairs department suggested, "I heard you like board games, do you want to run a booth?" so I thought very hard. Actually, it was bothersome.
In the end, I accepted because I wanted to make good memories with children as well as selling croquinol. At first, I thought it was easy to take a few croquinols and play a few rounds.
It wasn't long before I realized that the idea was very wrong. This is because there were so many things to consider operating the booth. The program should be organized in consideration of the number of users and the number of people visiting.
The arrangement of objects and the movement of people should also be considered. I shouldn't think, 'I'm done explaining the game to the students in moderation and watching them play.'
I have to think about the details. I thought about it until the day of operation and right before it started. Now that it's been decided so far, I'll have to recruit staff to run it together (this was the most difficult problem)
Finally, find out the products to give to the visiting children and purchase them, purchase notices to be installed in the booth, and other things necessary to proceed or make them
For two weeks, I spent a lot of time and energy thinking about and preparing for how to operate the booth. I thought a lot about what to give as the prize, but it was finally decided to go down
(1) Pokémon Key Chain Pokémon is definitely a successful IP!!
I decided it right away because it looked so pretty and the quality looked good. There were some that were really cheap, but the quality was really... It was a pity, so I put in more budget
(2) ritter sport chocolate It's economical because there are 200 in a pack I tried one to see if it's poisonous What????? This chocolate tastes pretty good...
(3) Crockinol Pencil (Steadler + Engrave) Originally, I didn't want to give pencils, but if I imprint them and give them to students, I thought they could remember croquinol for quite some time, so I made it meaningful.
If you look closely at the pencil, you can see the image of a disc bouncing with a finger. (○ ● ☜) I made it using the basic characters on the keyboard. Haha.)
It took a long time to think of the word 'dream tree' in the engraved phrase. (Offered words: rookie, genius, child, master, king, god, etc.) Since there are no other people to help me, I planned and produced a lot of things by myself.... lol
I recruited the operating personnel as follows
Head of the school affairs department -> Recruit me (one-person planner and business manager): Let's compare and analyze croquinol sales and rest at home and then experience it. Decided
Me-> First cast (S teacher): A versatile teacher who has been in the next class since we met in the 6th grade this year He became interested after being introduced to Crockinol by me. Enjoying Crockinol at home with his wife. Canadian style. (He said he was doing it without giving it away.) After receiving a proposal from me, "I'll do all the preparations, so please come and let the children know the games without any burden," he decided to participate after much consideration. I'm playing with my kids in the classroom, and my croquinol skills are increasing rapidly. I'm planning to promote the entire 6th grade croquinol competition later.
Second cast (Teacher C): My younger brother who met as a manager and a staff member at my last school and became very close. The same person who said in an old article that he helped move the classroom!
Together, we played about 400 rounds of croquinol 1:1 match. He made a lot of mistakes in his early days, but after hundreds of editions, he became enlightened at some point. He has become quite a master.
His powerful shots made a lot of crazy scenes. Among them, he sent five discs of his opponent to a ditch at the same time. When he was asked by me to help him, he accepted without hesitation. (He is expected to participate in the next event.)
Third cast (Teacher K): I am a teacher from another region, and I am close to him because I got to know him in a club. She was the last to be recruited, and she suggested liter port chocolate and keychain among the product ideas. Pencils were also highly recommended when I was thinking about it.
Lastly, he volunteered after seeing me thinking about recruiting one more person.
She's the only teacher who doesn't have a croquinol, and she doesn't usually have a chance to train, so she's still a beginner's skill.
Rather, a person who is expected to revitalize the booth operation because of that. (If teachers do too well, all students lose.) For the record, she has a board gamer gene that can also play Arcnova board games.
※ In addition, there is a sad history of rejection and subtly falling over during the recruitment process.
And I started setting it up on the day!! Visit early with teacher C and install one croquinol on three tables in the tent
At first, I was worried because the table was in the shape of a rectangle, but I could put things here and there. If you put the croquinol at an angle on the table, it was possible to conduct a 2:2 team, so there was no problem.
After I finished setting up, I sat down for a bit and tried a croquinol test. Played without any problems. The shot was even better because I told them to cut their nails, including myself.
However, there was a lot of dust on the tables and chairs provided by the company, so I hurriedly cleaned them. The remaining two operators also narrowly joined, and a total of four people were matched.
After that, I had time to start operating the booth as a whole They're here...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The name of the booth was 'Gather up here if you're confident in flicking', but I think I drew some aggro. Other places looked healthy like making animal bracelets, but our booth was like, "You! Come if you're confident!"
The booth was originally planned like this Planning the rules of the game: - If you feel uncomfortable, you can stand and shoot freely - In the case of 1:1, the original use of the 1/4 shooting line based on North America and Canada, rather than the use of the 1/2 shooting line that changed the rules in Korean company Korea Board Games. - A student who is too young is forced to shoot with a line forward. Two places are experience seats and listen to and experience the rules 1:1 or 2:2 (Parents and friends can participate together) - The experience gift is one litre pot chocolate - Rule Description -> Shot Practice -> consists of a two-game friendly
If you have learned the rules through the experience, go to the challenge seat of one place and challenge 1:1 or 2:2 (you can also participate together) - If you win, you'll get a Pokémon keychain, even if you lose, you'll get a 1/3 chance of a keychain and a 2/3 chance of a pencil through a lottery - Using one chance card, we will proceed with two sets, and if the student draws or wins even one set, it will be considered a victory. - Re-challenge possible when you line up again The booth gradually gathered and filled the corner, and the line got longer
I repeated the explanation and game so wildly!
The first episode : Even though it was in the shade of the tent, the temperature was high, so the chocolate melted. The student said it melted, so I touched it and it was liquid! Unfortunately, we can't give these defective products to students, so we decided to go to the challenge seat without giving them away in the experience seat.
The second episode : Our classmates are here! I heard a voice saying, "Teacher!" and I can see the 6th grade girls in my class
Of course, we played the game. I tried to lose, but I thought that if I lost too much, the student would notice, so I made mistakes from time to time, but these guys made more mistakes!
It ended with me winning or drawing (I should have made it more clear and lost... lol) I said, "This is just an experience seat, so it doesn't matter, show your real skills in the challenge seat," and sent the girl to another corner
The third episode : People were buzzing that a very famous politician visited the booth next door. (He was Korea's presidential candidate.) I looked up and saw the face that I saw on screen Although I was curious, I had my day job as a board gamer, so I welcomed students and focused on explaining the rules. Later, I found out that he talked to a student who experienced our booth and passed by
The 4th episode : The booth operators were not given a separate lunch break! It was announced that they would take turns eating lunch boxes. There were quite a few people... and I barely had time to eat. One person will be in charge of one booth, and one person will take turns eating I'm the type to eat slowly while tasting the taste, but I didn't have much time to relax on this day, so I sat on the stand and came back in a hurry that I couldn't even feel the taste
The fifth episode : There are so many people, and especially in the case of the challenge seat, the waiting line is longer, so to solve the bottleneck, we decided to take both the place and challenge as an experience seat It was the same with the booth I was in. I don't know what this day is... I made more mistakes than usual and often missed shots because I was nervous dealing with children. Hahaha
The 6th episode : The operations staff at the next table said, "A kid came up with a challenge and beat me." He got the prize, of course But after that, the student was still in the viewing room and gave advice to other participating children, saying, "I win all of them," showing a lot of confidence Then the child triumphantly challenged the management staff again! He must have wanted to win again. What was the result? According to him, he showed the dignity of an adult with his skills to children Of course, he gave away a croquinol pencil this time!!
The 7th episode : I explained the rules so much that the script was automatically made "This game is a 150-year-old game of Canada known to have started in 1876.... "In Canada, it's a daily sport that many families have and play throughout their lives, from childhood to grandmothers and grandparents. The rules are simple: if you put it in here, it's 20 points, this is 15 points....." I can't remember how many times I repeated the script above! The eighth episode : There are people who waited for an hour to listen to it while organizing it I've already experienced it and moved to the challenge seat, but the challenge seat lines are too long... Did they feel like they were waiting for a long line in the amusement park... ㅠㅠ Parents were tired of waiting, so they asked to go to another booth, but the child said, "Since I've experienced it, I really want to try it. I want to take a Pokémon keychain!" and waited a lot. It must have been very boring for parents, but there was no other way. I thought the quality of the operation would be very low to just experience/challenge one game at a time 2 play experience + 2 play challenge was the minimum number of plays to feel a little croquinol
The ninth episode : After eating, I heard parents and children talking "This is where we play Alkagi(flicking). Shall we play Alkagi?" "Let's do it!"
If you had written the booth title, "Who wants to play croquinol?" no one would know croquinol, so accessibility would have been low But when the title said "Alkkagi", I was proud of him coming in without any pressure
The 10th episode : The official closing time of the booth was 4 p.m At around 3:50 p.m., I took a breath and looked at other places, and some places had already withdrawn, and I was usually cleaning up, so the atmosphere was clear But our booth is still full It lasted beyond hours Is this the power of crocinol?
The 11th episode : Time has been deleted I was worried about what if time went by during that long time of operating the booth, but it was a mistake. We were so busy explaining and playing that we didn't have time to look at the clock, and when we came to our senses, it was a time when the end was imminent. I couldn't even go to the bathroom for five hours. Because it was hectic, the operation ended without a comparative analysis of 'Are many people visiting other booths? How popular is our booth?' (When I saw the photos and videos later, I could see that our booth was more crowded than other booths.)
The 12th episode : I tried a lot to react to it in my own way. I really complimented the kid every time he hit the disc. I exaggerated a little bit like I became a YouTuber and shouted a compliment chant out loud A young girl who looked like elementary 1 or 2 sat down (around 7-8 years old) I finished explaining the rules, and asked her to practice shooting a few times. After that, we started playing the game. The girl said she would do it first, and she took the first shot of her life's first game. It went straight into the center hole. There was applause from all around. I said, "Even I couldn't put it in at first. It's amazing." Congratulations on your best experience." She's made a lot of mistakes in play since then, but it doesn't matter at all! There's nothing more touching than the first shot of 20 The parents who were nearby filmed this scene and will cherish this meaningful moment for a long time
The 13th episode : There seemed to be something interesting to see other crocinol tables also clapping, wow, oh, oh From the perspective of planning, all these reactions are a gift
The 14th episode : There were a lot of spectators while explaining/playing There were a lot of comments about the rules of the game "You have to hit the disc when it's on the surface" "Oh!" A male parent was glad to hear that he knew croquinol "I knew this game since it came out last year. It was about 110 dollars, but I didn't buy it because it was expensive." (It's more expensive now. It's about $140)
The 15th episode : We allowed a re-challenge in the 'Beat the Teacher' section, caressing the hearts of children thirsty for crocinol Some students tried again 3 times (The challenge itself takes about 1 minute and 30 seconds for the first round, 3 minutes in total, so it doesn't take much.)
The 16th episode : After 4 p.m., I looked at the other booth thinking about when to organize it, and a boy who looked like a fourth grade in the challenge seat was doing very well Her parents were also amazed by it The accuracy of each step wasn't unusual He said he came back to try it out and do it again Looking at the game, he unfortunately lost to Teacher S by 5 points when he made a mistake of 2 turns in the second half Teacher S told the student. " Try it with that teacher. He's the best While sitting down, I asked, "Do you want me to do it with all my strength or not?" I laughed and asked At first, the student said, "Please be generous!" but later changed his words to "With full strength." "Haha, okay. I'll go with all my strength!" The student said he would attack first and tried an open shot and went straight into the center hole "Wow... does this make sense?" I also chased along the disc in the center hole. That's how I tried to hit my opponent's disc in Hogan's alley and accidentally wasted three turns. The result is that the student who leads by 15 points wins... The child liked it very much and came home with a light step with his parents "Thank you for your hard work. Bye!" When I looked at the playground with the back of my family leaving after saying hello, the sun was slowly heading down, scattering light everywhere and giving the lawn a cozy view What could be a more peaceful landscape. He must have felt really good on his way home. I thought he lost well
Finish writing : When I was in college, I ran a different kind of booth when I was the president of a club, but it was the first time I ran it this way in relation to board games.
At that time, there were a lot of club members and the space was very spacious, so the event was held comfortably, but the croquinol booth was operated in a very minimal condition: 1 tent, 3 tables, 3 croquinols, and 4 people in operation
Still, it ended successfully as it exceeded the time without an accident, so considering that it is the first operation under this condition, it should be considered a great success.
The operation of this croquinol booth was planned by myself and prepared for the program, so I have a lot of attachment.
I'm grateful to the three people who ran it together (they were dispatched from each elementary school publicly and privately). As expected, people are the most important.
I'm willing to do it again if I have to participate in the booth event another month this year or if I have to run it again next year. I think we can do it in a better way than now
For example, I dream of running a mini-contest by installing more tables. There's a mini trophy, and I think the kid who got it will really like it. (Of course we need a lot more people than we do now...!)

Mother's Day is a special occasion to honor and celebrate the incredible women who have shaped our lives with their love, care, and sacrifice. Whether you're looking for the perfect words to include in a card, a social media post, or simply to express your feelings, here are some heartfelt Mother's Day quotes to convey your love and gratitude:

1. "A mother's love is like no other. It knows no boundaries, no limits, and no conditions. It is unconditional, everlasting, and pure." - Unknown
2. "To the world, you are a mother. But to your family, you are the world." - Unknown
3. "A mother is not just someone who gave birth to you. She is the one who nurtured you, cared for you, and loved you unconditionally. Her love is the truest and purest form of love you will ever know." - Unknown
4. "Motherhood: All love begins and ends there." - Robert Browning
5. "A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's." - Princess Diana
6. "Life doesn't come with a manual, it comes with a mother." - Unknown
7. "A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take." - Cardinal Mermillod
8. "Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever." - Unknown
9. "Mother: the most beautiful word on the lips of mankind." - Kahil Gibran
10. "The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation." - James E. Faust
11. "A mother's love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible." - Marion C. Garretty
12. "Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing." - Ricki Lake
13. "A mother's love is the strongest energy known to man." - Jamie McGuire
14. "Being a mother means that your heart is no longer yours; it wanders wherever your children do." - Unknown
15. "Motherhood is the exquisite inconvenience of being another person's everything." - Unknown
16. "A mother's love is the heartbeat in the home; it is the light that guides and the anchor that holds." - Unknown
17. "The love between a mother and daughter knows no distance." - Unknown
18. "A mother's love is the thread that binds the family together." - Unknown
19. "Behind every great child is a mother who believed in them first." - Unknown
20. "A mother's love is the greatest gift anyone could ever receive." - Unknown

These quotes beautifully capture the essence of motherhood and the profound impact that mothers have on our lives. Use them to express your love and appreciation for the incredible mothers in your life on Mother's Day from Rakhi.com and every day.

Bipolar II disorder is a mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide. It's a type of mood disorder that is characterized by periods of depression and hypomania (a state of elevated mood that is less severe than mania).
What is Bipolar II Disorder?
Bipolar II disorder is a mood disorder that is characterized by at least one episode of major depressive disorder and at least one episode of hypomania. Hypomania is a state of elevated mood, energy, and activity that lasts for at least four days and is not severe enough to interfere with daily functioning. Unlike manic episodes, which can occur in bipolar I disorder, hypomanic episodes are not severe enough to require hospitalization.
Symptoms of Bipolar II Disorder
During a depressive episode, individuals with bipolar II disorder may experience:
•Persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness
•Loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed
•Changes in appetite and sleep patterns
•Fatigue and loss of energy
•Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
During a hypomanic episode, individuals with bipolar II disorder may experience:
•Elevated mood and energy
•Increased talkativeness and activity level
•Decreased need for sleep
•Increased risk-taking behavior
•Impulsivity and recklessness
Causes and Risk Factors
While the exact cause of bipolar II disorder is not known, research suggests that it may be related to:
•Genetic factors: Individuals with a family history of bipolar disorder are more likely to develop the condition.
•Brain chemistry: Imbalances in neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine may contribute to the development of bipolar II disorder.
•Environmental factors: Trauma, stress, and other environmental factors may also contribute to the development of the condition.
Treatment Options
Treatment for bipolar II disorder typically involves a combination of medication and therapy. Medications such as mood stabilizers, antidepressants, and antipsychotics can help manage symptoms. Therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help individuals develop coping strategies and improve their overall mental health.
Living with Bipolar II Disorder
Living with bipolar II disorder can be challenging, but it is possible to manage symptoms and live a fulfilling life. Here are some tips for living with bipolar II disorder:
•Educate yourself: Learn as much as you can about bipolar II disorder to better understand your symptoms and treatment options.
•Seek support: Join a support group or talk to a therapist who has experience working with individuals with bipolar II disorder.
•Develop a routine: Establishing a daily routine can help you stay organized and on track.
•Practice self-care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies.
Conclusion
Bipolar II disorder is a serious mental health condition that requires treatment and support. By understanding the symptoms, causes, and treatment options, individuals with bipolar II disorder can take control of their mental health and live a fulfilling life. Remember, you are not alone in this journey - there are many resources available to help you cope with your symptoms and live a happy, healthy life.

To clarify, I now know that there are different definitions of the word “ship”, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of “a relationship that’s rushed and/or forced with no real development.” I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but can’t read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabine’s relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their “friendship” that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: “no, they’re not a couple, they’re just friends.”
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didn’t really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line “I love you like a sister” was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were “just friends” I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadn’t seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadn’t gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didn’t he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, let’s focus on shipping.
In case you think I’m desperate to have them as a couple, no I’m not. I’m about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Z’ers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), I’m generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though I’m slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this “whirlwind romance” are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakin’s portrayal, particularly in regards to the “romantic” scenes, with many describing them as “creepy”. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence “shipping”.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for “love” is something relatively new. To be fair, I’ve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for “love” without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for “love”, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, you’ll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I can’t say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards “love” or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. It’s not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a “casual hookup” as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider “unhealthy”. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920’s (the “Roaring Twenties”), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their “oppression”, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more “liberated” and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960’s, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only “normal” but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to “ban” certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by today’s standards.
It continued through the 70’s, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called “dark romance” and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this “dark romance” can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesn’t work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a “New Victorian Age” (complete with “dark romance”, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new “brothels”, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. I’ve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the “young adult” category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time I’ve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrence’s latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generation’s frustration as well as the younger generation’s frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youth’s lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasn’t gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone “underground”, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often aren’t portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers haven’t quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the “New Victorian Age” may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just can’t seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here I’ll add that I’m perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both “good” and “bad” in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that they’re often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they aren’t it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazaki’s films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each other’s lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true “love conquers all” narrative, where the characters’ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live “happily ever after”. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameron’s Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazaki’s films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka don’t help each other simply because they are “in love”, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazaki’s handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently “bad” and in service to “evil”, while everything that’s “natural” is shown to be inherently “good”. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple “villain”, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
I’ll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
“How is any of this related to Star Wars?” you might ask. It is quite related, and you don’t even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w
But to summarize if you’ve seen any of Miyazaki’s films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoni’s work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoni’s work look like they were taken directly from Miyazki’s films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been “like a son” to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his “padawan”, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, “What does all this mean for Star Wars?” It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazaki’s lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsoka’s feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoni’s stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasn’t certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I don’t believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (c’mon, what teenage boy isn’t?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode “Blood Sisters”, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each other’s sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as I’ve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if they’ve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didn’t seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawn’s return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsoka’s search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about “shipping” and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently “shipped” them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to “modern audiences”? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here I’ll add that when I say “modern audiences” I don’t mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core don’t really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately don’t quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be “fixed” at this point, but I can’t help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but I’m not sure how. And to be completely honest I don’t feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabine’s Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isn’t. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.