Things to say on a dating websitehings to say on a dating

My STBXW (30F) left me (35M) 1.5 months ago. We have been together for 6.5 years. No kids.
Our marriage didn't start as a fairy tale, but it kept improving for the first 5.5 years.
There was no cheating, physical or substance abuse.
We were very compatible on so many levels. Never got bored of each other, never ran out of things to talk about. Laughed a lot. Going through lockdown was a breeze, since we both really enjoyed spending time together. We were best friends, true soulmates.
I was confident and secure that this bond would last a lifetime... I knew in my heart, that I would never break it. But it didn't last a lifetime. This loss of innocence is very traumatic, I don't know how to trust someone again after a deep rejection like that.
We had different views and priorities in life, which was always a source of conflict, and both of us were really stubborn.
I can't say for sure, but I think that I was a good husband. Although maybe I wasn't, since good husbands don't get abandoned. I don't drink or smoke. I earned a pretty good salary, kept in shape, always supported her career beginnings, paid for food/going out/bills/rent all those years, always had time for her and for us, found and planned new activities for us. House chores, except cooking, were equally divided. I definitely wasn't perfect and there are many things that I wish I could have done better, especially in the last year or so.
We started arguing A LOT. After about 4-5 months, serious divorce talks started, and after another 2, she completely checked out and left. I pleaded, I begged, but that just convinced her of making the right choice and made it worse. I later realized that she has grieved the relationship in those months of arguing. We both hurt each other so much mentally during that time. I can't forgive myself. It's sad how many men only see the real problems when it is too late. 80% of divorces are initiated by the wife. I really saw what our problems were when she left, I tried discussing it, promising to change, which I really meant. But it was "too little, too late".
I feel so much guilt and shame. Received a lot of support from friends and family which I didn't expect.
After she left, she liked my FB posts and we chatted for two weeks. Then it quickly dried down to divorce proceedings. She blames me for destroying our relationship and ruining everything and says that she is the victim here. Maybe she is right? I'm so devastated that I think she is probably right. The only concern is that right before all that arguing started, she read about 5 books on "toxic relationships", "narcissists", "abusers", etc.
And in the last 2 months before leaving, she was reading a book "Why men love bit**es".
It's been 1.5 months now, and all I can think about for 90% of the day is her. I deeply feel that I will never find someone like her again. The though of death is on my mind every other day. If it wasn't for my mother, I would probably end it. Signed up for therapy in two days, it's going to be my first time.
I keep asking everyone for a recovery timeline, but everyone just says "that's very individual". The most common answer seems to be 6-18 months of this purgatory. Cried literally 10 times yesterday, and twice today already. I just don't know how to move on, and most importantly, I see no reason to move on, except to save my mother from the pain of seeing me suffer and fail at life.
Please, can you share your experiences? Have you really, truly considered someone your soulmate, your best friend, and then moved on? How long will I be in this purgatory? I do remember that I was sometimes unhappy in those years. But isn't everyone on some level, occasionally unhappy in a marriage? We don't live in a fairy tale, and that's normal, right? How do I know if I am putting her on a pedestal? Sorry for so many questions.
I still consider her a good person and wish her well, although I am devastated that she left me when I felt in my heart that we would overcome anything and I would never ever abandon her.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a couple months, let me start with I am an over thinker. We’ve talked a bit and learned about our pasts, and she’s offered me every assurance and to even let me go through her phone if need be. That was a month ago, other issues aside my anxiety bred paranoia and I asked her to show me her phone over ft. She seemed shocked but quickly agreed and showed me. When there was nothing I was relieved, but also felt horrible for mistrusting her for no reason other than paranoia. I do trust that my girlfriend wouldn’t betray me based on how our relationship started and where it’s at, and she told me she doesn’t mind it, but I can tell it might have hurt her considering the sudden shift in my own nature which she caught. Going from chill to paranoid/ worrisome. I know she offered to show it to me but should I have just trusted her? The pain I feel knowing or thinking about how that made her feel heavily outweighs the relief I felt. Quickly after she showed me, I apologized and thanked her, and gave my explanation and again she said it was fine but still. Should I let it be and see how it affects our relationship, if it affects it at all? How can I assure her that I do have trust in her and this was a one time thing? Do I just give it time and continue on like it didn’t happen? Or if it does bother her, wait for her to bring it up?

On this day exactly 120 years ago, the New York Times published an article, “The Abolition of History,” about the posthumous publication of a book by the English historian Edwin Johnson that, in a “scientific, dispassionate, searching method and manner,” total revision of the Christian history of Europe and the history of England in particular.
Abolition of History.
Generations of English schoolboys yet unborn will rise up and call blessed Edwin Johnson, if the contentions of his posthumous book just published here by the Putnams are successfully established. “The Rise of English Culture,” which appears three years after the author’s death, undertakes to abolish all English history before the end of the fifteenth century. There simply is no such thing. It is an invention, not of the devil, as no doubt large numbers of English schoolboys in the past have thought, but of the Benedictine monks. Respect for the powers and industry of this great hierarchy will be vastly enhanced if what Mr. Johnson maintains is true. In their monasteries was manufactured and turned out all the information, or what has hitherto passed for information, in regard to all the English Kings, all the achievements of the English people, nay, even all the history of Europe and all the literature that is supposed to date before that time. “A wall of darkness seems to rise behind the faintly outlined figure of- Henry Tudor and the fiendlike Richard,” says this uncompromising skeptic, “which shuts in the view of the observer and hides from him the earlier past.” The author puts it mildly when he says that this must come upon the unprepared mind with “a shock of surprise.”
Mr. Johnson is perfectly calm about it. His method and his manner are scientific, dispassionate, searching. He scrutinizes, and he gives his reasons. Being accused of having “Benedictines on the brain,” he gravely replies that it is modern history which he has on the brain, and he knows that this subject cannot be understood without attention to the Benedictine system. That system, as he explains it, is of a band of “dishonest fabulists organized and disciplined in the use of the pen,” “taught to agree upon a dogma and a fable.” From their hands came the whole of our Christian literature, the whole of our history, arranged to suit their purposes. Why have these points been so long neglected, and why have they escaped the notice of the most skeptical and thoughtful historians? These fables were founded, to begin with, on “the imagination of the world.” Already during the Revival of Letters there were brought to light expressions of doubt. They were forgotten or suppressed. The fabulists were organized and disciplined, working for self-interest; the critics were not.
The imagination, fertility, and intellectual power of the fabulists at least are worthy of admiration. Not only all the Saxons, the English Kings downward from “William the Conqueror” — so our skeptic designates his mystical character in quotation marks — are phantasmagoria of Benedictine brains, but laws and literature, the bedrock of our ancient belief, are all products of “the forge and writing house of fable” in the monasteries. St. Augustine and St. Jerome and Tertullian and a St. Thomas Aquinas and their works came thence. So did the Venerable Bede, the symbol of the literary activity of a knot of Benedictines, told off to the duty of illustrating the imaginary past of England. John Wiclif is no historic-personality, but a convenient figure of the poor priests at which the monks and friars aimed their polemical arrows. “Chaucer” (and Mr. Johnson mentions with modest pride that he is the first to point it cut) is a name under which masked a group of men of the English renaissance, keen but genial critics of the monastic system; we first hear of the “Chaucer legend” in 1540. Dante is in a similar predicament. Rabelais is another mask, worn by a jesting monk, who poured contempt through it on the whole system of historic fiction then coming into vogue. Roger Bacon is another mythological figure set up, by the Merton friars through the necessity felt for cultivating the little science then current. We may not even keep our Caxton; he is a legend and not the man who first introduced printing Into England. We must even give up Domesday Book and such a safeguard of our liberties as Magna Charta. Both are real, but both are late — and all that about King John and the Barons at Runnymede is fable.
In an introductory chapter, signed by Edward A. Pretherick, the reader is informed that Edwin Johnson was born in 1842 and died in 1901. He was a Congregational minister until he accepted the Professorship of Classical Literature in New College, London, in 1870. He wrote “The Rise of Christendom,” (1889) and translated the “Prolegomena” of Father Hardouin.
Published: May 14, 1904 The New York Times
Contemporary information about Johnson from the English Wikipedia:
Edwin Johnson) (1842–1901) was an English historian, best known for his radical criticisms of Christian historiography.
Among his works are Antiqua Mater: A Study of Christian Origins (1887, published in London anonymously) and The Pauline Epistles: Re-studied and Explained (1894).
In Antiqua Mater Johnson examines a great variety of sources related to early Christianity “from outside scripture”, coming to the conclusion that there was no reliable documentary evidence to prove the existence of Jesus Christ or the Apostles.
He asserts that Christianity had evolved from a Jewish diaspora movement, he provisionally called the Hagioi. They adhered to a liberal interpretation of the Torah with simpler rites and a more spiritualized outlook. Hagioi is a Greek word meaning “saints”, “holy ones”, “believers”, “loyal followers”, or “God’s people”, and was usually used in reference to members of the early Christian communities. It is a term that was frequently used by Paul in the New Testament, and in a few places in Acts of the Apostles in reference to Paul’s activities.
Both Gnosticism as well as certain Bacchic pagan cults are also mentioned as likely precursors of Christianity.
In The Pauline Epistles and The Rise of English Culture Johnson made the radical claim that the whole of the so-called Dark Ages between 700 and 1400 A. D. had never occurred, but had been invented by Christian writers who created imaginary characters and events. The Church Fathers, the Gospels, St. Paul, the early Christian texts as well as Christianity in general are identified as mere literary creations and attributed to monks (chiefly Benedictines) who drew up the entire Christian mythos in the early 16th century. As one reviewer said, Johnson “undertakes to abolish all English history before the end of the fifteenth century.” Johnson contends that before the “age of publication” and the “revival of letters” there are no reliable registers and logs, and there is a lack of records and documents with verifiable dates.

Like the title suggests, let me explain...
I've always been fascinated by heavy recovery, and want to learn more about wreckers and the recovery world. What I don't understand is when people talk about their wreckers, like a '50 ton wrecker', or a '35 ton wrecker' and so forth. How do you come to this number? Is the tonnage based on the underlift capacity, the winch capacity, or the boom capacity? This is one thing that doesn't make sense to me.
Like for example, say I have a wrecker that's fitted with 2 x 15 Ton winches, as well as a 40 ton underlift. Would this wrecker be classified as a 30 ton or a 40 ton wrecker?
Any assistance would be appreciated. Thanks for viewing!

Notes: sorry for the bad English or wrong grammar since English is not my first language
I’m 23 (F) and my fiancé 24 (M) has been engaged for 3 months now. We are exes back at high school but only in relationship for few months. After 5 years, we met again and he propose after few months after we met. Everything was fine before, he took care of my well-being, fulfil my cravings and needs. He has an ex before, she is a cheater and gold digger (from what he told me) he really loved her that he bought the girl almost everything she wanted, an iPhone, iPad, shopping spree, expensive dining and even install the air conditioner and bought furniture at the girl familys house. To the point where the girls family is using him for money. Eventually after 2 years, they broke up.
Back to my story, he changed by time. He doesn’t really pay attention to me like he used to, he plays his phone a lot and no longer fulfil my needs like he used to. I checked his phone few times since I know all his passwords an got access to his social media but theres nothing suspicious, he just scrolling his media social most of the time. The wedding is less than 3 months away and we havent start to prepare anything yet. Just a small talk like where the venue and how many guests we want to invite and that`s all. Every time I try bring him to discuss more about the wedding he keeps saying “whatever u wanted, it will be just fine with me”. At this time, I feel like I am the only one who excited about this wedding. You must be guessing oh he must be working really hard right now to pay the wedding expenses. He is not, his dad lending his money to pay for our wedding expenses and he agreed to pay it back every month after the wedding. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Related to the story of his ex, the girl is jobless and basically his ex-boyfriend who is my fiancé now is the one who provide anything for her. I am working, but the salary is not that much but enough, I notice my fiancé don’t have that much money like he used to so I helped him to cover some expenses using my savings for us to survive. But this is where my hate grew, because just later I know he actually not that broke like what I thought. Few weeks ago, I thought we are facing financial problem that he only bought one meal for me and he refuse for us to share the meal. I, once again use my saving so none of us have to feel hungry and to cover some expenses. He bought a 400 bucks car rims the very next day and told me he wants to join competing a car event that is one month away. As the fiancée I keep thinking why he can`t treat me the way he treated his ex before, she is jobless + cheat on him but he just fine with it and still love and did everything she wanted to just to please her. But when we are together, I am treated this way. I tried confront him few times but he keeps denying and tell me sad story about his previous life. It’s not that I want to be his next gold digger but I sense the injustice in all these issues. Mind that he like to lie with no reason, like just a small inconvenient thing asked and he will pretty much lie.
I don’t know how to feel, what I should do or talk to. because people around me supporting him, saying he is a nice guy whatsoever and it is me who over react all this things.

So, basically, everything started 2 years ago when I moved to a new house in another city to finish my major in IT. In this republic where a lot of students live (8 at the time), my best friend and I went to live there. Upon arriving, I met this female (21), let’s call her S. We started talking and getting intimate even though she seemed like a good person. However, things happened and I tried to get away from her. But since she is crazy and we live in the same house, that did not work too well. She would do things like lock me in the house with her and hide the key, send her grandma to my house asking me to get with her, and all kinds of messed up things that I’m not writing here (if you want to know, ask in the comments).
It was basically more than a year like that. We were not in a relationship or anything, but that did not matter to her. Everyone at the republic knew but no one ever spoke about it and chose silence, even my best friend. I felt kind of bad because when he needed me, I was there for him. I tried to talk to him but he would always change the subject and did not like to get involved.
It was a year and a half like that. I literally would sleep from 2 am to 12 pm, wake up, go to college, and then come back at 11:00 pm so I wouldn’t interact with her. So, I started talking to a girl at my college and followed her on Instagram (I think that was my mistake where I am now). She followed me back. At first, I was really not looking for a relationship or anything, but I really liked her. She was a cool friend. But S did not like that, not even a little bit. How do I know that? I always was low profile. I did not like posting any photos on social media and all of that. My Instagram does not have a profile pic as well and I did not use it until recently, so I know that if I followed someone new, she would know.
So, after that, things kept going and I was not speaking to her. I had two best friends, one lived with me and the other one lived in my city. So, we used to gather at my place every Sunday and do something. It would come, he and his friends. One day we were talking and this best friend of mine showed his cellphone to this other friend with messages from her. I know that because this friend used to message a girl even though I was already talking to her. And when he showed the message to this other friend (let’s call this one L, he is going to be important later), he looked at me and said “you are screwed” and then we changed the subject.
So, for the next month, I kept my normal life as normal but she and my other friend (let’s call him F) started acting suspicious with her. I tried believing him and pretended I was blind and did not give a damn but he would always make things for me which he did not used to do. He started changing things in his life like going to college all day which was a thing I used to ask him to do so I wouldn’t stay all day by myself in college. He would talk about friendship a lot. I would also reply normally and then I felt like he was being an asshole and got mad at him and stopped talking to him so he would understand that I would do what he was doing (mainly the reason was I would not do that to him). And once she said all of my friends were assholes (she was right in here at least). So, going forward, I would speak to him but if he needed something or talked to me, I would respond normally but was still mad because of all of my friends, he was the one I trusted the most. He acted as if nothing was wrong which I felt he was at the time.
Then one day we were at the basketball game and he said to a lot of teammates that I stopped talking to him and he did not know the motive. So, on Sunday at my house with my friend L, he asked if I was not talking to F. I said that we are kind of in the middle of a fight but if they wanted to call him, they could. Then L said he would not call him since we were not on good terms And then I said okay, and after that, he asked what the reason was. I told him the story, saying I was mad because I felt like F was manipulating me. L believed that my friend F was a good guy because he has a girlfriend and all (he betrayed her after 5 years of relationship with his neighbor, which I knew and L did not, and I did not tell him of course, I ain’t no snitch). So, days passed and it was the birthday of S’s cousins, which I used to go to in previous years, so it was planned (she and her cousins are very close) because his birthday this time was at a public place, in a bar to be more exact. After getting there, I had a surprise because she was with another guy at a table, so everyone got mad at me because “I fought my best friend because of her”.
So, one day after that, my “friend” L said everything to his friend (I’ll call this one Y). So, Y and her had a past together and he did not like her at all. He was my friend too, we’ve known each other for the past 8 years. And then this friend got mad at me as well and everyone started making jokes and all, and I said okay, maybe I was wrong and went to talk to F. I called this other friend to go with me at the time because we used to live together in the past and he grew up together with us. When we arrived at his place, he asked us to wait. So, when he arrived, we started talking. I said I would never do something to mess up his life and he said that everything I thought to be true was only things from my head (as if I was crazy). He said sorry for doing something I did not do and asked if we were alright, and then I said no, we were not. I asked him to come to my house the other day and he came but acted as if nothing was wrong. We talked, joked around, and he went away. I still did not understand, but something was off.
So, days come and everyone on the chat group started wishing I was dead every day, which I felt bad about, not gonna lie. And then the break from college came to an end and I got back to college. But when getting there to play basketball, everyone was acting strange with me. I’m kinda skinny, well I’m way too skinny (I weigh 88 pounds) and they were guarding me with everything they had. I did not understand why, but I quit and went home. The other day, I called my friend F and asked him if he told something to them and he said no, I did not say anything, and then went away. After that, I started asking myself what happened, which messes you up when everyone refuses to talk to you. So, I stopped going to college for a month and when I came back to college, everyone in the college was looking at me with disdain. A lot of them would look away when they saw me. I did not notice until I got to the classroom. When getting there, I chose my place and sat.
So, in this class, there is this girl (I’ll call her C). You know, from when I started college, I ain’t going to lie, she was my first passion. I used to go and wait for her bus to come and take her home and all of that, so she would not go alone at night. But then came the pandemic and we did not talk anymore (mainly my fault). So, coming back to the classroom, she got up and then looked at me. I would not say disgust, but like kinda mad at me, but I did not understand at the time. So, I asked this friend for his water bottle because I forgot mine and when I got up to go to the drinking fountain, he said you can right there, do not need to go anywhere. I did not understand what he was saying but did not give a damn because he is a really good friend, he kinda helped me. And then she got up again. I, knowing her, knew she was trying to tell me something but did not know what. Then this friend (I’ll call him P) asked me to tell the professor why I did not come to his class for almost a month and I said okay and went to talk to him. I said, while everyone was listening, that I did not come because somethings were happening in my life and then he said it’s okay. I went back to my place and at the end of the class, I went out to the bathroom and when I came back, my things were on the ground, which I did not notice why at all. And then this guy came to me and asked if those things that were on the ground were mine. I was making a group with this girl since when the professor asked if someone wanted to make groups with me, they all said no. The professor even asked like that “Why? You guys don’t like him?” I did not understand why as well and just laughed. So, this girl that was making a group with me, when I came back from the bathroom, asked me to take photos of the papers. I said that it did not need to and then she insisted and I said okay and took the photo. When I got home, I was looking at the photos of the papers and I saw a photo I did not remember taking. It was the legs of someone which I assumed took my cellphone and took it. I kinda went into my head thinking what caused this issue. And then I remembered something I told F a while ago because he knew about this girl from the past. So, one day I was in the classroom with She also got up and went to fill her water bottle. I asked her to fill mine as well, but when doing that, I kind of got up and she thought I would go with her, but I did not. :( When she came back, she sat at her chair and lied down, which made me feel bad because I like her. She did not come the next week and the next, she was sitting behind me. She had her bottle on the chair and then I asked her, ‘Can I take your bottle?’ She said, ‘For what?’ I took it anyways and filled her bottle, came back to class, and gave it to her. She said thank you and I told F about this situation, which I thought was the reason.
Then, the other day in the classroom, I came back because there was a misunderstanding and she did not come. I thought she did not want to talk to me and I did not come for the next 2 weeks. Then, I came back on test day and like always, I sit at the same place in the classroom and she knows that, so she sat close to me on the day, which made me happy. Her friends would come every so often and pretend like they would kick my backpack. She got angry at them, looked at them, and they stopped. Then, after that day, I do not know what she said, but everyone treated me normally with no issues and I could come back to college.
So, until here, I have a clue or other about what happened, but I still needed to know who would say something like this to mess me up. Then, I remembered Y because every time something would happen, he would post something on Instagram. When I came back to play basketball in my city, everyone was treating me like crap and then everyone was saying to me that Y was my rival. I did not care that much, I thought they were joking. Then, one of his friends asked if he could sleep in the republic with my mattress and I said, ‘Yes, you can.’ Days later, Y on the group chat asked this friend of his if things went all right and then he responded saying, ‘Yes, everything went all right.’ (He probably slept with S on my mattress.) So, I started asking why he would be so mad at me and something came to my head.
So, Y’s father died of cancer and one day, F and I were at his house. When we were getting out, F looked away and passed this door without looking. Then, I came behind him, looked at the room, and it was Y’s father. He could not talk because his cancer was on his tongue. I looked at him and gave him a thumbs up and he did the same to me. Then, out of his house, I asked F why he would look away in that situation and he said to me, ‘I can’t even look because I pity him.’ Then, I said I would not pity him because I would not like people to pity me. But what F said to him was something different and he believed it. Then, he started threatening, not directly of course, and saying things to all the city like I used to have this friend when growing up and he went to jail because he killed somebody. I told this thing that happened to my friend F that when we were young, 10 years old to be more exact, he kissed a girl I used to like and then I went home and started crying. I said that, but if I remember, in that house, the room where S stays, she can hear us and she probably told Y.
Then, I went to my friend who killed someone’s house (his mom sells food, I buy there since I was a kid). After getting there, I bought my food and when going home, his brother and his friend got up on a motorcycle and passed very close to me as if they were telling me something. I did not understand why as well, but after some time, I understood. So, he is probably not stopped until I’m dead or he kills me and since everyone believes him, I can’t do anything. So, I ask, what can I do in this situation?"

There are many things that people of all walks of life need to learn, and that’s obvious. But when you sit there and say “well, you clearly need to get educated” it reads as a copout because you don’t have the ability to expand on what you already have said.
Unfortunately this is true in essentially any debate, regardless of side.

debated posting abt this cuz i didnt get any screenshots but its still marinating in my head, so here we go!
decided to queue leveling on my baby MCH and got Brayflox normal with an on-level DRK, WHM, and on-level NIN.
tank is single pulling but im just going thru my silly rotation minding my business. its Brayflox and im not too concerned abt it
things take a turn when DRK says brb and then the NIN randomly decides to pull a side pack of like 2 mobs for a chest before the 2nd boss. i shrug and just help the guy out while tank is afk, no big deal. i thought.
once tank is back and after the boss, the NIN continues to pull and the tank says “dont pull :3” me just being a dps i start attacking once things are pulled. im not gonna wait for tank to grab aggro to start attacking lmao but all the mobs that the NIN pulled aggro onto me. prob cuz im aoeing…the tank AND healer are standing still to the side both watching me die. i, KNOWING I DIDNT EVEN PULL, sarcastically thank them for not healing/grabbing aggro and letting me die. WHM doesnt rez me. i have to run all the way to the 3rd boss and i keep trying to firmly tell them both i didnt pull so whats the deal. but they are both insisting i did and flaming me for it. if they just paid Any attention it was obvious the NIN was grabbing the mobs before me. they probably thought i pulled that side pack too :/
at this point im honestly pissed, less at the ypyt and more that im being framed? cuz whenever i pull ahead as non-tank i always mentally prepare for potential ypyt but being framed and “punished” was not on my bingo card. i dont even typically pull ahead on dps since i have less ways to stay alive if it does turn into a ypyt heal/tank team up, evident here since i tried arms length, second wind and a pot and it wasnt enough lol.
at this point the dungeon is nearly over and i want to votekick since NIN might? but loot is up and the tank is back to pulling so its out of my hands. at the very end of the dungeon tank turns to me and says “youre welcome, [my name]” with a wave emote. ugh.
and yeah, NIN said nothing the entire run. i wonder if they were following along with what was happening at all, cuz they were on-level for Brayflox with only NIN leveled so maybe oblivious to chat and whatnot. still, part of me wishes they backed me up

i like Warhammer 40k, but 40k doesnt afford you the abilty to let you play your own custom character or faction if it isnt up to certain specs in tournaments(lore strict rules). and running an army battle in dungeons and dragons is overly complicated unless you ignore a bunch of rolls and rules.
i propose a blend of both. who's cannon takes place in the cosmos of perspective.
(you make your own faction cannon. )
each unit type has user generated has one data sheet, each named character you have would have their own data sheet.
the models can be 3-D printed or kitbashed, but they must be at 1/36 scale. essentially one infantry= one of those cheap plastic army men standing at 5 cm tall.
from here, this was typed up before today, by a few months. there is no campaign.
but i would imagine a new fandom in table top roleplay would be born regardless
___________________________________________________________________________________________
WELCOME TO BATTLEPOSTINGS T.T.R.P.G.
A tabletop rpg for diy, model painting, kit bashing, 3-DPrinting, and plastic army battling enthusiasts.
all parts of this game are user generated, with the exception of the rules. Though u/Khorde__the__Husk sent this to a bunch of redditors for help in balancing the game and setting up basic play structure.
Things to note:
· You must have one “advisor” per two warlords in the session. Advisors, act as the game master to make sure no one is cheating. If there is confusion on what kind of weapon a unit has in their hands or equipped to their armor, the Advisor has final say. The advisor is supposed to keep the game fair.
· In theory you could have as many players as you want, but no more than four is recommended because turns consist of multiple phases that are meant to organize the battle strategy for each player.
· Players are encouraged to kit bash, 3-D print, or purchase traditional plastic army men. For the sake of scaling, follow the scaling of the image below. But you must have your own general. It is recommended that your general be unique, make it yours. Have fun.
· Players can make their own campaigns and lore. Such attempts are encouraged. For the purposes of release, you can follow the campaign I have written.
· For any session, you will need a handwritten or typed general’s reference stats Dossier, 1D20, tape measure, and an army of which you will fight with. (painted)
· When rolling on a check, higher is always better. 20 is always a success
· Your armies stats are fixed and defined in this document. Your general’s stats are dictated by the roll of a 1d20. These stats are:
o morale
o Movement speed
o Accuracy
o Health points
o Punch
· Turns are split into phases.
o bombardment
o Movement
o Attack/counter attack
· The different types of units are:
o Infantry
o Armor
o Airborne
o B.A.M.(BIG ASS MACHINES)

· We play at a 1/36 scale. All models are at that scale.

• TERRAIN AND COVER

make your own terrain and cover. kitbashing, 3-D printing encouraged. terrain is the battleground, the floor the pieces and obstacles stand on. obsticles can be anything. debris, nature, etc. obstacles are cover. if an attacking piece can see the defending piece in its entirety, the defending piece is in the open. if the defending piece is partially seen by the attacking
· Ability checks logic below:
20=crit hit/sucsess
1=jam(gun)/woopsie(melee)/crit fail
To succeed , a unit must roll their combined ability score. This is their base ability +general ability. Debuffs such as kickback only are applied to whatever you rolled when you roll for an ability check.
Regardless, the fundamental rules of this game will apply to your creations. these are an assortment of rules designed to keep the game fair and guard against unfair players(referred to as God-Emperors or God-empresses) and hopefully combat power creep.
Now lets expand upon these ideas so you can have fun kit-bashing and army smashing quicker.
GENERAL’S (named character) STAT DOSSIER
Your army’s stats are based on your general’s stat Dossier. The leader of a nation is oft a good indication of how high of a quality their army’s going to be.
The first thing you should write is your general’s name, then write their bio. Their bio includes their background, their homeland, what politics are involved (if any). It is not recommended that you write a novel, you have a game to play. What are the weapons that your general will have on their person? What are their character traits? How will those traits affect how the game is played?
The next thing to do is to make a picture of your General that resembles the piece you kit-bashed for your general to be. It can be menacing, wholesome, serious or whacky. As long as the design choices resemble what your army has for their design and your general’s character traits. It doesn’t have to be hand drawn. A photo of your piece will suffice. no general may have a skill number higher than 16.
ARMY STAT DOSSIER:
what good is a king without a kingdom?
terrible.
each type of unit gets one ARMY STAT DOSSIER. you can have as many scout infantry you want, but you need a dossier on how they are deployed, what weapons they use, and most importantly, THEIR STATS. make sure your unit type description is comprehensive including what styles of combat they are trained for. this could influence your decisions on how you play. give them lore for shits and giggles. no unit may have a skill number higher than 15.
WEAPON STAT DOSSIER
this is the list of weapon types and their ability modifiers.
when attacking bare handed, you go by your unmodified stats.
STATS EXPLAINED AND BORING SHIT
Now comes the part with the dice. You only need 1d20. This is to reduce the confusion.
· Morale
Rolled by 1d20, checked by 1d20 per unit.
Morale is basically moral law. How far will your troops go to follow your orders? If your morale over a given unit is 1, the unit in question is shell shocked for one whole turn, to be marked with a yellow slip. If your unit is shell shocked, it is traumatized to where it cant follow any orders on the next turn. If for some reason the morale hits 0, that unit defects and must be marked with a red token. Units that defect are now under control of your enemy. If defected units hit 0 authority again, it simply dies. Suicide. Cowards way out.
The Morale that your general has over friendly units is base unit morale +the general’s modifier. Your general’s base Morale is the number you rolled the 1d20 for. If for any reason your general’s morale score goes below 0, the general must rally all nearby troops (within 30cm) to protect the general for one turn on the next turn. If your general’s morale hits zero, you get shell shocked, and your general cannot take action for one turn and if your general was within line of sight of any other allied unit, the observing unit cannot take action either.
· Movement Speed
Rolled by 1d20, measured by cm on a measuring tape or meter stick because inches suck.
Movement speed is how much ground a given unit can cover. Unless your object has a punch score higher than the hp of an obstacle, or can fly, you will have to go around the obstacle. There are exceptions. If the obstacle is below the knee of an infantry unit, the infantry or whatever can climb over at the cost of the individual unit climbing modifier.
The base movement speed of your general influences the movement speed of your troops. To find a troops total movement speed:
Your unit’s base movement speed + your general’s base movement speed = total troop movement speed. See army stat dossier or named character stat dossier.

· Accuracy
Rolled by a 1d20, checked by 1d20 per unit
Accuracy must be rolled every time a unit attacks an enemy unit.
Accuracy is basically the chance of your selected troop hitting their targets. Different weapons and vehicles have different accuracy modifiers(aka kickback or x-range), and different types of troops have different base accuracies. Accuracy can affect enemy/friendly Health points or morale. If a shot hits near enough to a troop, or makes a kill close enough to another troop, the troops affected must undergo a morale check with the exception to nearby friendlies of any troop who gets an enemy kill.
Explosives and artillery have an area of effect. any troop within the inner blast radius (with the exception of troops behind sufficient cover) is dead. Any in sufficient cover, or within the outer blast radius must make a morale check. Sufficient cover is a piece of the environment which has an assigned hp that is higher than the punch of an explosion.

Small arms fire requires line of sight for targeting. The path of bullets is a straight line, keep this in mind when deciding collateral damage. Friendly fire is a thing and it is a war-crime. If you want to play nightmare mode, your general gets summoned to a military court tribunal and executed if three friendly troops or more die as a result of friendly fire that occurred by your command.

Melee combat can only be conducted during movement phases. If its melee vs gun there is the variable of line of sight. If the melee unit is within line of sight, the gun unit has advantage. If the melee unit is outside of line of sight of the gun unit, the melee unit has advantage.
To find your troop’s accuracy:
general’s base accuracy+ troop base accuracy- kickback. The higher the accuracy the better.

· Punch
Punch is how much damage a unit causes to another unit or object should they pass their accuracy check. Different weapons pack a different punch. Remember to add their bonus to the punch check roll.
When attacking an obstacle or object, units must roll against the hp of the object. If the roll lands on a number that meets or beats the hp, the object or obstacle is destroyed.(marked with red sticky note and can be traversed as if the object was destroyed. Bullets pass thru within reasonable trajectories, no ricochet)
When attacking units, whatever is rolled is subtracted from the victim’s hp. The victim can only move at half of their normal movement speed afterward.(treaded, wheeled, and airborne vehicles excluded from the debuff even if they are hit. They are treated as obstacles with the addition of the passed accuracy check requirement.)
· Health points(hp)
Health points are what determines how close your units or general is to kicking the bucket. In any game mode, If your general kicks the bucket, you lose. If you have no units other than your general, you lose and your general must go into hiding. each unit and general may have no more than 10hp. powercreep is bad
UNIT CLASSES
Unit Classes are determined by how big the individual unit is, and how it traverses the battlefield. The smallest and most common all the way to the biggest and most intimidating of units are all fit into several categories by what they look like. To solve disagreements on what class your unit is, the advisor has final say. Disagreements should be easy to avoid if you design your units properly. It would be useful to stick to a theme. Candy punk, steampunk, horror, medieval, sci-fi, and historical designs are all fine, you could even come up with your own. A theme will be better for discerning friendlies from you enemies. At the same time, make your units discernable enough that players and especially advisors can easily determine what classes your units are.
· Your general/warlord, whatchacallit
Your general is the most valuable unit because it is what you have to control your forces. Without a wise and strategic leader, your forces will fall into disarray and you will lose the war. You can only have one general, and you made it yours. Kitbashing and 3D printing would likely be your most common means of gaining a general. They must take resemblance of the general on your general stat dossier they can swim in water terrain for two turns before they drown.
· Infantry
The easiest to acquire and kit bash. This allows for vast hordes of infantry, or small fireteams, or something in between. Find your play style. Your infantry should be as tall as the plastic green army men in the image below. These men and women are the bravest of them all.
they can swim in water terrain for two turns before they drown.
· Armor
Mainly made up of vehicles and smaller mechanical suits, must be land based. Expect tanks, jeeps ,Humvees, calvary mounted animals etc. here is an image I ripped for scale as to the largest example of armor you can have. Not my drawing. Its basically the largest tank ever built replace the man in the image with one infantry and you have your scale. Or 0.283333333 m* 0.283333333 m *0.5m
these machines will break down in water terrain.
· Airborne
Airborne units can only fly. They can drop bombs, airdrop armotroops, and attack up to one target per gun that the aircraft is equipped with(within range) as they move. Their biggest weakness is anti-aircraft weaponry and enemy aircraft weapons. How big can an aircraft be?
2.44 meters. X 2.44 meters by 0.60 meters is your maximum for all airborne units.
any airborne that fly like a plane have a +4 to their movement stat but can only bomb ground units 15 cm in front and attack any unit that is in front of it
anything that flies like a helicopter does not have this buff or debuff, they can shoot at any target, but can only use missiles for up to 15 cm on ground units.
NAVAL VEHICLES
Naval vehicles can be big or small, but they can only operate in the designated water terrain area. they can carry troops, they can fire artillery, depth charges, missiles, torpedoes, and submarines can hide below water for three turns before air runs out. but they can be spotted by sonar. if a submerged vessel is within 10 cm of an enemy surface or submarine vessel, the enemy vessel can act as if they know where the submerged vessel is even if the submerged vessel is still submerged.
· B.A.M. ‘s
Big Ass Machines are basically giant robots and massive land ships. These can be Game breaking depending on how you build them and how big you build them. They can fire upon one target per weapon. how big Can these be? They cannot be more than 1.5 meters tall or take up a ground area larger than 4 meters. Players are not allowed to use functioning motor vehicles including, but not limited to cars, trucks, busses, etc. rule of thumb, if you can ride it, you can’t play it. It might as well be just fan art. The maximum distance these can move at any time is 2000cm. to move these, they must make a special movement check. War machines of that size can get stuck easily, so subtract your general’s movement speed from your final roll on each check. If they are larger than the specified limits, you’ve built a giant immobilized obstacle for one turn.
Mobile terrain essentially is a whole battlefield or obstacle of its own. The biggest difference is that anything other than B.A.M. compatible units that are attached to the B.A.M'S can’t be removed from the B.A.M.'S. Artillery such as main guns can’t move, only rotate. same with S.A.M.S. , C.R.A.M.S., and anti aircraft weaponry.

EQUIPMENT AND ARMAMENT
Guns and RE’S(ranged explosives)Require a reload period(one full turn) every so often. Dual wield is an ability that is only applicable to infantry equipment . dual wield only applies when two identical weapons are in both hands of a single unit. Range is how far a weapon can fire before a debuff is added to your accuracy roll. For every 10 cm beyond the stated range, an x-range debuff of -1 is added.
Overheat can only occur on weapons that are labeled with overheat. Every time a gun with overheat is about to fire , a coin must be tossed. If the coin lands on heads, the gun overheats. Overheating will cause the unit to explode. The explosion will deal 1d20 damage to anyone/anything within a 6 cm radius. You only need to roll once.
Cone is a special debuff. Weapons with cone Can only fire at sequential targets within 25 degrees of original target.
im having trouble with deciding the individual weapon stats. so ive decided that i am going to leave those up to you. (the moment i hear people are getting into fights IRL, i will be putting in an elaboration which will settle all disputes regarding equipment and artillery... and i wont be happy about it.)
players are encouraged to record their battles in battle reports and post it online in their relevant subreddits. if they win/lose, then the player is encouraged to come up with a lore reason for any change in tactics, named characters(generals), or stats.
an army is considered overpowered if they can take out all opponents in as little as 10 turns. they must be nerfed if this happens. dont forget to add a lore reason for this occurrence in the battle report.
unlike overpowered, underpowered armies can be taken out in 10 turns. they must be buffed if this happens. dont forget to add a lore reason for this occurrence in the battle report.
this is sci-fantasy/high fantasy, battles are supposed to be epic and economically exaggerated.
write the name of the weapon, the type of weapon.(melee or gun) and its accuracy and punch modifiers.(bare hands is melee and equal to. magic is gun)
spells must be vetted in good faith by advisors prior to the game to prevent game breakage. spells may not kill units or generals in one blow. spells effects can only last one turn unless its a healing spell. healing spells cannot heal more than 5 health points at a time per unit. write out the spells you have for your units and have them vetted by an advisor, advisor will determine gamebreakability of the spell. if spell is determined to be game breaking, mid game, the advisor will have the offending spell removed and the turn undone. at wich point the offending player effectively must alter their strategy in the spirit of good sportsmanship.) There are three approved arcane focuses, wands, staves, and hand casting, (one must not make them look like the caster is going to punch something, have them hold an orb or something.)
(the moment i hear that people get into IRL fights over spells, i will make a list of approved spells and a LONG LIST of forbidden spells. and no one will be happy. )
THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE
Dont be a dick, be a good sport, and have fun.breaking thegame intentionally is a dick move. advisors are encouraged to post their reports of game breaking spells so it may help me in the event Khorde__the__Husk has to revise the rules.

It’s been 2 months since I was dumped(blindsided) by my bf of 2 years. Do you ever get to a point where you can make sense of things? I feel crazy. I know heartbreak is so common but I don’t understand how you can just stop loving someone!?
Also struggling to analyze how much was his fault or my fault. I’m questioning my reality in the relationship a bit. I wish I knew the real reason of why this happened. We had a “closure” talk 2 weeks after the breakup but I don’t believe everything he told me. He said he lost the spark/passion. He fell out of love. He felt I was “controlling”. He said he didn’t want to have to check in with anyone anymore. And that he couldn’t give me reassurance and the love I deserved. He swore there was no one else. But I’m still skeptical. Don’t know how much of it is anxiety or if I do have a right to suspect something. Finding out I was cheated on would break me.
Also, he apparently got on dating apps 3 DAYS after we broke up and had a girl over only a week after we broke up.. idk how someone could do this. Someone I thought loved me so much. Someone I loved and gave everything to. It hurts so much. And I’m so angry! Last I saw he was living it up and DJ’d at a bar for the first time. He’s had great things come to him while I’m absolutely shattered. I hate this. It doesn’t feel fair. Wish I could tell him he’s nothing but an immature man wh*** who doesn’t know how to love.
Not exactly sure what I want to get out of this Reddit post. Partly wanted to vent. But even some advice or words of comfort would help. Thanks.

I was talking to this hot guy from the military. He wants to hook up with me and hangout with me in between his station transfer, so for a couple of days. He was planning on renting out an air bnb where I live and I would cover some of the costs. This all seemed too good to be true, so I asked to voice chat him to vet him some more.
He said he wanting something more if we were compatible, and that he wished he didn't just fuck when he was my age (I'm 23, he's 27, not that far apart.) He says he doesn't want to date in his 30s. I asked him why, to which he replied he didn't want to settle for anyone ran through.
I am a whore and I'm not ashamed of it. I've been groomed since I was 14, so I was having sex since I was 15, and I don't think it makes me less valuable than anyone else. I tried to demystify how someone's sexual history doesn't make it any less enjoyable to have sex (both the vagina and the anus are muscles and can't loosen over time, they just get better at taking dick), and he replied "that's just your opinion" before changing the subject.
Would y'all still hook up with this man? I feel kind of nervous now, like I'm walking on eggshells or that I should be ashamed of my history. He's also super hot and I feel like we clicked in other aspects.

We’ve been together for going on 5 years now. The first 2 years were great in every way. Then my dad passed way and I completely shut down, had health problems emerge, and had to really push myself to finish undergrad. It took me maybe a year and 1/2 to start getting back to my normal self. Then I found out the issue. While I was going through everything, apparently I made him feel unwanted somehow. I never did it intentionally and was never mean to him as far as I know. I just, for obvious reasons, didn’t want sex. Now that I’ve been feeling more myself, for about a year now, I’ve been trying to get things back on track but it’s not working. We’ve had like 2 fights about it at this point but nothing too crazy. He says he wants me to initiate more, I try but he doesn’t notice or turns me down. He acts surprised when I compliment him, when I compliment him all the time. I ended up going to grad school and we talk every night (I’m one state away for school). Now I’m home visiting for two weeks and he been lovey like always. We always grab on each other, kiss, hug, and everything seems fine… but no sex. Im incredibly confused and my feelings are hurt. I want to bring it up but I don’t want to start a fight when I only get to see him for this short time before I go back. Every part of our relationship is perfect, except this and I don’t know what to do. The thought of the relationship ending due do this fills me a feeling I can only describe as feeling like my heart is being ripped out. What do you think I should do? How can I even start to work through this with him?
TL;DR: Very little sex for the past 2.5 years due to grief. How would you suggest trying to rekindle the intimacy after getting through said grief?

Today is my birthday, and I've never felt this lonely. No one has wished me yet except my family over text. Last year, my ex ordered me a cake, and that was the first time someone did this for me. I still remember that day. I loved her so much. I helped her so much. But she cheated on me last year in mid-September, and since then, nothing has been going well in my life—mentally, physically, academically. I failed in all subjects in my 3rd year of MBBS. When I told her everything, she said mean things like, "Go get a life," and "All this is your karma." What kind of karma? Karma of trusting her, loving her, standing with her when no one else was there for her.
I tried many times to just talk to her, but every time, she broke my heart. And now, when I complain about all this, when I tell her she did wrong to me, she just says, "Sorry, forgive me." How can I forgive her? And how is it that easy to say sorry when you know you've crushed someone so hard?
Two days ago, when I tried to talk to her and I complained about all this, she said, "What do you want? I'm asking genuinely." I asked her, "Don't you need me?" She asked back, "Do you need me after all that?" I said, "Yes." Then I asked her, "Don't you?" She said, "I don't."
Why do people do this? Intentionally hurt someone? When you need them, you make a lot of promises, and the dumb ones trust in that. But when the need is over, you forget all the promises.
I have lost all faith in this world. Everything is just messed up. I really don't know what is going on. I wish I could just erase my existence.

**What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.**

I am finally building my first gaming pc, After saving for a few months I almost made enough money, I already got a whole setup and only the pc is missing, I want to play a wide variery of games at a resolution of 3440x1440p & 165hz, Games I will play will vary from minecraft with far horizon, Till dcs and everything in between. Also might add some VR games and start some blender in the future

**What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?**

Aiming for 1200 euros, But can borrow some money and hit 1300 perhaps

**When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.**

within next two weeks, When I receive my salary

**What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\)**

I only need the tower, I already got everything besides

**Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?**

Netherlands and we no such thing as a microcenter, Which is a shame

**If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.**

A ultrawide monitor with 3440x1440p resolution and 165 refresh rate

**Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?**

No, Would be a waste of lifespan of the components for minor improvements

**Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)**

Not necessesairly, Prefer AMD>Intel

**Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?**

Would like atx build, with no specific case preference

**Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?**

No

**Extra info or particulars:**

Want the best bang for the buck

My last post went over surprisingly well, that said you should check out my new subreddit Talesofzippy for more content, because I'm definitely going to posting in more places around reddit and I'll be cross posting them in the tales sub for more people to enjoy!
With that, I don't remember any good stories about Zippy, but the place I work at is fucking filled with loonies, so tonight I'm going to introduce you to Katniss.
Katniss is about 63, tiny, and absolutely loved to talk about how good her guns are, even if she can't shoot or generally understand how they work. She tried to tell me that her Girsan was a high quality gun because the barrel is pinned in place.
I'm a competitive shooter, I grew up shooting and learning about guns.
When a pistol fires a round, a floating barrel will be pointed at an upward angle at the end of the stroke, while a pinned barrel doesn't. The floating barrel doesn't effect accuracy in any meaningful way because it is held in place by several seers, and doesn't begin to move until well after the bullet is out of the gun.
I tried to explain that, she didn't listen. She also can't shoot. Katniss.
She also wears boomer shirts about "snowflakes" and shares memes about the good old days when you could say whatever you want and be offensive.
This gets funny later.
Katniss and I worked together running gas pumps, and we generally got along great, in fact for a year I considered her to be a friend.
And then my dad killed himself.
I got the call at work and got a ride home as quickly as possible. Katniss was on shift with me and Yawn, who is the most chill person you can imagine.
They were incredible, Katniss broke into my apartment (at my request) and took my shotgun for safe keeping. She also took my keys and made me wait for a family friend to pick me up.
I called the night manager and told him I was going home and why, He offered me a ride.
I came into work three days later and stuck my head into my boss (Elk Daddy's) office. He simply said "how long do you need?"
"Two weeks."
"Okay."
I mention this because Anything less than this is a cancerous work environment. If a manager tries to negotiate with you when you've experienced a true tragedy, they're not a manager, they're a slave driver.
I had severe PTSD, nightmares, the whole shabang, for months I would stand at the desk and hear my mom's voice telling me my dad was dead, the first night back at work I witnessed some dumb janitorial drama (not zippy) and I started smelling the sickly sweet smell of human brain before I ran home and had my first panic attack.
(I'll tell the story of Elk Daddy, and make good on a promise I made my dad as a bonus at the end.)
Six months passed, my PTSD wasn't even beginning to heal, and she pulled me aside.
"Okay. It's time to stop now."
"Stop what?"
"This, you're in a rut, and you need to get out of it. It's high time you moved on and stopped being sad and moved on. See my sister was in a car accident and went into a coma when I was about 20, and I had a dream about her getting up and walking out of her hospital room and saying "it's about fucking time." The next day her heart gave out and she finally died. It was this freeing thing for me, because I felt like she was finally free of the broken body and the pain."
"Katniss I just don't feel like I'm... There yet. I'm still hurting, and I really don't feel like I'm ready to let him go. Things aren't that easy."
She didn't like that answer.
At the time I just felt broken, and just laid there and took it, but today I'm genuinely angry about it.
I was hurt, and now that I've rebuilt myself I realized how truly broken I was as a person.
She had no right to say anything to me about how it was time to stop. I'm still healing four years on.
That was when we stopped being friends.
Last year I was going through stickers for our local pride, the second one our community has ever had! I had come out as bi the year before, and had a side project that had grown large enough to have a booth at the local event. I was showing off some cool and funny stickers to Yawn, another cashier.
Yawn is great, he has no blood pressure, everything is just really cool and chill, and he really just wanted to be friends with everyone.
Genuinely nice person. I always get him a Christmas gift and he's always grateful, no matter what it is.
I turned around and handed a sticker to Katniss that said "be gay, so crime" with a little picture of a fabulous criminal goose on it.
She took one look at it and just went "No" rather forcefully, so I just backed off and moved on.
The next day my boss, Elk Daddy, calls me over.
"Op, you handed Katniss a sticker yesterday, and I just want to tell you. Stop talking to her. Please. For me."
"She really complained about that?"
"No, she threatened to go to HR because you "assumed her orientation" and tried to give her a sticker."
It is at this point that I'd like to add that Elk Daddy is gay. Like... Really gay. Him and his husband both donate their time and money to pride, and have been instrumental in making it happen. They are the gay uncles that stepped up to be dads for their nephews when Elk Daddy's brother couldn't.
He knows Katniss, and both of us know her HUSBAND.
So. We didn't talk outside of necessary conversations, and haven't really said anything to each other for any reason.... Until I transferred to my current department and ran out of pens.
I walked over to the cashier desk "hey Katniss, can I get a handful of pens? I ran out."
"I gave three to morning shift last night, what happened to those?"
"I don't know, and it doesn't matter, can I get some?"
Yawn walked over to the drawer where we keep the pens and opened it, while Katniss sighs and opens up her drawer and drops a pen on the counter.
"Come on Katniss, I need more than that."
"I don't have that many pens, they're not giving them to us, here, this is all I have."
She angrily throws down two more pins on the counter as Yawn retrieves an entire box of pens from the drawer and begins walking over. She sees him and motions for him to stop."
"Don't fucking bullshit me Katniss, I see Yawn with the box. Just give me some pens."
She drops six more down on the counter, I take them and walk off. "Thank you."
Ten minutes later she comes over to the deli and slams a box of pens down on the counter for me
"Don't ask me for pens again."
"Wouldn't have it any other way."
She then told the MOD that I cussed her out. I told my side, and several people in the management chain pointed out that she wore tee shirts under her uniform that said more offensive things, one of them even saying "don't fucking bullshit me."
She is no longer allowed to wear her tee shirts.
She's also had it pointed out to her that she says "don't fucking bullshit me" all the time, and management has gently reminded her that she should not swear.
A few weeks ago she very dejectedly told me that she was done trying to help people, and I had to bite back a "good, we don't need it."
And here we are... End of another post about the weird boomers I work with.
BONUS STORIES!
As for Elk Daddy.
My boss has only ever taken his husband out hunting one time. When they did, they ended up trekking across the country on deer trails and through the brush. After 12 hours of being dragged through the brush and not shooting anything, his husband said something to the effect of "I hate this. I can't keep up with you and you just disappear all the goddamn time." He took my boss's phone, logged in, and yells "in fact HEY SIRI, FROM NOW ON CALL ME ELK DADDY."
nickname earned. He has it monogramed on his wallet.
And finally, my dad, who was another Boomer, used to love taking me out camping.
He was an electrical engineer, and was most certainly on the spectrum. He was brilliant in his own way, but absolutely unhinged when it came to teaching things.
A lecture from my dad could cover cleaning the stove (with diagrams on proper wiping techniques) to the finer points of building and firing a nuclear weapon. (With math included. No mercy.)
He tried to teach me calculus when I was six. It didn't work.
Anyway, on this particular camping trip he pulled me aside and said "op, I want you to make me a fire using nothing but two sticks, your knife, a match and the chainsaw"
Now. I knew where he was coming from, he wanted me to make a fuzz stick. I knew because he had only brought up the topic of making a fuzz stick every night for the past three days of camping. He then very helpfully added "and the chainsaw is a distraction."
Uh huh. Okay dad.
I Start cutting up the wood and making a teepee fire, and I hear a little "hmph" I look up and I see the smile. The grin he used to get as he started planning one of his little lectures. He was picking out the right words, deciding if he needed to demonstrate or just use a pen and paper.
I then opened up the gas tank on the chainsaw, dumped in a tablespoon of gas, lit the match and "whoof"
Fire.
Then the argument began.
"I said you couldn't use gas!"
"You said I could use the chainsaw, that includes the gas tank!"
"The chainsaw was a distraction!"
"Still gave it to me!"
"You cheated!!!"
"How?"
Long pause.
"I won, admit it. I beat you in a way you didn't expect. You will never live this down. I'll tell this story at your funeral!"
And I did. Three years later I tore up my hastily scribbled notes and told a group of the friends, neighbors and coworkers that he knew and loved about the time I finally beat him. We laughed.
I think he'd be proud, and a little indignant.
I miss you dad.

**What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.**

I am finally building my first gaming pc, After saving for a few months I almost made enough money, I already got a whole setup and only the pc is missing, I want to play a wide variery of games at a resolution of 3440x1440p & 165hz, Games I will play will vary from minecraft with far horizon, Till dcs and everything in between. Also might add some VR games and start some blender in the future

**What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?**

Aiming for 1200 euros, But can borrow some money and hit 1300 perhaps

**When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.**

within next two weeks, When I receive my salary

**What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\)**

I only need the tower, I already got everything besides

**Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?**

Netherlands and we no such thing as a microcenter, Which is a shame

**If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.**

A ultrawide monitor with 3440x1440p resolution and 165 refresh rate

**Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?**

No, Would be a waste of lifespan of the components for minor improvements

**Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)**

Not necessesairly, Prefer AMD>Intel

**Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?**

Would like atx build, with no specific case preference

**Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?**

No

**Extra info or particulars:**

Want the best bang for the buck

So basically we're comfortable with eachother but lives in with our family and whenever we meet she comes dressed casually like no earrings, no necklace like very basic. Mostly i don't mind it but sometimes i feel like I want to see her all dressed up like putting efforts when we are on a date.
I've talked about this with her and she says it's you I'm meeting and I'm comfortable with you.
She has this thing that she'll get so many questions from her home like why re you all dressed up, where are you going, how long will it take. And i understand that.
So girls of reddit how much can you relate from this??

I'll begin this by shamefully admitting that I cheated on my fiance. We met online in 2016 and I was not ready for a relationship, I just knew I wanted her, her face was so damn striking, no makeup, probably the most beautiful woman in the world. At the same time, fear of commitment and weakness on my part had me asking to talk to other people as I was her. I needed validation at all times, and she wasn't enough.. I regret it so much because she was enough, I was just a coward. It never became an affair, my grabs for online attention were rebuffed. But it hurt her all the same and I've eventually learned to to drop my defenses and let her grieve and help her know every day that I'm sorry, she is enough and I love her with all of my heart.
Fast forward to today in which I'm working two jobs. In recent months, it's come to light that adultery is rampant at one of them (full time). Just 3 weeks ago we all found out that a 35 year old coworker was cheating on his poor wife with a 19 year old coworker that looks like she's 12. Before this blew up I'd often hear her and her friends gloating about cheating on their respective boyfriends. How they're all so boring and stupid. Laughing because one of them is lying about why they can't share their location on their device and he has no clue, commenting on his stupid heart emoji. It made my fucking heart sink.
At the other (part time) the head boss lady from day one would boast about the baby she just adopted with her wife. This was such a nice atmosphere, talk of love and a baby. Then suddenly one day her high school sweet heart who also just so happened to be a supervisor was showing up. A lot. And they were constantly flirting with each other, disappearing for "smoke breaks" constantly. In between all of this was her bringing up this baby. She very rarely ever brought up her wife at home. That also made my heart drop each incident. Meanwhile another supervisor had at one point been dating an associate, cheating on her husband with 2 kids. She told us her husband was abusive, we later found out she had a reputation for cheating on everyone she's been with.
Recently we got a new coworker (29f) at my part time job, married to a 45m with 5 kids. One day I was working and she went outside to vape, when she came back in she awkwardly rubbed my shoulder and said "hi bestie". Smiling real wide.
Me and my fiance are each others firsts. It makes my betrayal so much more shameful to me because of that. And we met online. I was never flirted with by anyone in person except a gay kid in high school (thanks for the confidence boost brother, hope you're doing well these days). By the time we met IRL, we had already flirted a lot online, I was not used to being flirted with by random women. I immediately told her the day it happened because I was already having a mental break from all the infidelity around me. Like a crushing guilt was getting stronger after we've worked so hard to put my horrible choice behind us.
The 35 year old still works at my full time, the 19 year old who was the other woman was kicked out of her house by her mom and she quit her job, her friends talk shit about her for her freaking out because her boyfriend "cheated". One of them told her boyfriend about the affair so she could sleep with him and she had a meltdown because how dare she be cheated on. Beyond that boasts about successfully lying to supposed loved ones continue as well and I've been having a mental break because of it.
The part time coworker has said further things, things I started to keep secret from my fiance for a while because I didn't want her to worry and think about her too much. I realize now withholding the truth is what really got me into trouble with the cheating. There was and is no danger of me violating that trust again, ESPECIALLY not physically, it's not much but I'm proud my cheat was online and rebuffed. But the most recent one in which she randomly blurted "I want a divorce".. .This was the line that made my mind snap. I was already getting clingy with my fiance because of everything, but with this I've reverted back to when I first became enamored with her. But this time without the insecurities and failures.
I told her recently about the rest of the coworkers flirts and how it's made me appreciate her probably like never before. Unfortunately working two jobs can make you a zombie and check out on life at home sometimes. But I find myself actively thinking of her more and the little nice things she does for me I take for granted. I'm stoked I'm having this reaction and not giving into past mistakes as I could be because it's thickly in the air, but what I want to know is why? Why did it take being surrounded by cheaters to appreciate her so much like this? Like I want to start planning the nicest surprise whatever for her just do something big for her just because she's there. It actually makes me realize a lot more of my failings than just cheating. I'm hoping it translates into a better relationship.

Are they getting too well known? Recently, in every video they’re meeting groups and groups of “legends” and it’s starting to get incredibly redundant and taking up the entire vlog of some kid walking up to them and awkwardly saying “can I have a picture” and then them awkwardly taking the picture and somehow trying to incorporate them into the vlog.
And on another note, does anyone else think they’re starting to realize the impact vlogging everything has? Like with the whole debate between Sockie and Naz, I feel that was a normal argument between siblings that was blown out of proportion. It was very mature of Sockie to realize her wrong and apologize but she looked very embarrassed when they rewatched the clip and read the comments.
That 100% didn’t need to be shown.
Imagine every thing you do wrong being put out for a million people to criticize before you even have the chance to take accountability. It’s the same with basically everything, every argument. They are growing KIDS. Even Sabre. They’re maturing and doing things everyone has probably done once in their lives as a kid.
They need to make these mistakes to learn and the backlash they get for it can be really harmful.

Last week, BM dropped the “I’m your REAL mom, and she’s your pretend mom” on SD(6) over video chat the same day she told her she had a new baby that no one knew she was expecting (including SD).
Since then, SD has been having a really hard time. She’s always been a very happy kid, but it’s like something in her switched and it’s heartbreaking. She’s angry and sad. Not sleeping well.
The hardest part to navigate is that she’s actively icing me out. She told me last week that she wanted to me go in the room so she could be alone with her dad. My husband addressed that it isn’t how we treat our family, and we talked it out. She repeated that sentiment again today. For the last week, my husband hasn’t been able to speak to me directly without her jumping in and cutting me out of the conversation entirely. She doesn’t want to sit on the couch if I’m on it. It’s heartbreaking.
I’m trying to be patient, hold space for her, and not take it personally, but I’m having a really difficult time. Does anyone have any advice?
.
Background:
I’ve been the only mother figure for my SD since she was 1.5 y/o. BM left DH and took her out of state, and he was supposed to get her over the summers (plus child support and frequent video chat). That went out the window when family members raised very credible concerns of abuse & neglect. We’ve had her full-time since then.
SD started calling me mom during a time when BM was MIA for over a year and we never corrected her. When BM popped back up, we gave her a different variation of “mom.” BM has never visited. Never sent child support. Only video chats every 1-3 months (or longer). She’s never been denied the opportunity she just doesn’t.
Here’s the thing: we’ve never lied to SD. We just haven’t fully answered the question yet. She knew BM & DH were together. She’s seen pictures of them when she was a baby. We were avoiding the painful truth that BM went off and had more kids and has never shown up for her. That’s the first thing she asked about.
I think the phrases “real mom” & “pretend mom” is what got to SD plus the sudden new baby. It doesn’t help that in the same call, BM told SD that the reason she can’t visit is because we moved too far away.
Idk what compelled BM. We’ve never spoken badly about her before. We always just say “plane tickets cost a lot of money” when SD asks why she can’t come visit. We let the child support thing go… she just blew up SD’s worldview for her own ego I guess.
Nonetheless, I’m struggling to find a way to support her and hold space for her feelings without allowing her to treat me poorly while also repairing our relationship… Please help. This is so hard.