TL;DR Abused boy is outcasted in high school and is now questioning 10 years later if he was the cause, and how to fix it.
I was thinking about this today after a discussion with my wife that since I was an outcast in high school, I still am one today. I have the generic tragic backstory most do, mother and stepfather were drug addicts, abused physically and mentally. That was all when I was around 1-6. After my dad took me in, never talked about anything that happened though. In middle school I was really popular, I said anything on my mind so that was reinforced as being a good thing, that's when I started acting out, just trying to be funny. (One time I said I was gonna blow up the school and got suspended, I couldn't understand why, I said it as a joke, a bad joke yes, but a joke none the less. I was not allowed to watch tv nor did I have access to the internet at this time, so my thoughts were "How would a middle schooler even get a bomb? What are you adults stupid or something?")
I think I tried holding onto the same type of personality that people liked throughout middle school to high school. It is synonymous to how the manosphere men act today. I had connections from middle school and would often eat lunch with them. But when I hit my sophomore year, seats stopped becoming available, for me at the table. I knew and I had too much anxiety to sit with people I didn't know, so I skipped lunch and would try to find somewhere to just wait out the lunch period. After this point I would just ignore everyone and keep my headphones in throughout the day
I dropped out due to depression and maybe other things. I didn't talk much, I didn't go out much, so i started streaming while I played video games. People in my life saw it as a waste of time and pushed me to just work a factory job and hope to move up after years. (It was actually the leading cause for getting me kicked out of not 1 but 3 houses) I was always a nice guy but not a genuinely nice person, just a guy who would be nice to get what I wanted. I started getting followers, and felt accepted, made it to a good subscriber count. like 1.5k but then I quit. A few reasons but one of the main one was that no viewers would show up unless I played a specific game I was really good at. Not because of me, but my skill, or so was how I viewed it..
Until my early twenties, like 21-22. I'm 27 now :P. I was so sad an depressed about not making friends that I was making trying to force it with the first people interacting with me. Even with them though they had taken more of a liking to my wife then myself. I'm not sure what it is, but you know that feeling that you introduce people and they become better friends and eventually they hang out without you? That has been something I noticed happens to me for awhile. Throughout my life I've only ever been invited to things from people passing out fliers for events. When I say it I think people think I'm trying for pity or being facetious when I'm mainly just making an observation, that or the people who did invite me were people I didn't want to hang out with.
I thought I just had naturally low charisma but thanks to my dad I know the art of being charismatic. My dad is super charismatic and can make friends with anyone so I just mimicked him. While I could use the right tone my verbiage felt wrong I felt like everything I said or do would be wrong or misunderstood. So I made the realization it was how I viewed myself, so I worked on that a lot with the help of my wife (Who actually has been the only person to choose me) made it to the point where I love who I am. And I know the path of the person I want to become. But I still see myself as an outcast. I also don't see it as a bad thing, just something that is. But is that self destructive? Will I have to do away with that thinking so I can run my business? If you were an outcast, if you've never stopped being an outcast are you still one or am I just reinforcing because I want to be one?
As a kid I was obsessed with not wanting anyone to remember me. I begged teachers to remove my pictures, or any proof that I was there closer to graduation. I skipped the picture days so I wouldn't have a picture in the year book. If it's harmful how does one change that mindset, go out and try to make acquaintances?
Thanks for coming to my ted talk and opinions are greatly appreciated.

I honestly think it’s going to be awesome. It’s a private “invite only” festival that’s been going on for like 20 years. I was telling my dad about it and he said he used to go like 15 years ago. Basically a bunch of hippies getting together in the middle of nowhere for a weekend. My band has played there a bunch but I just joined last year. I’ve never played a festival, mainly bar gigs where it’s either 2 or 3 hours, we usually bring the PA, etc. The festival is a bunch of bands, they have a PA, and sets are only like an hour. Free food and beer on the rider. Our slot is Saturday night so I feel like the main thing to watch out for is don’t get too fucked up before our slot. Any other words of wisdom from experienced festival players are appreciated !

Hi! I’ve been working in K-12 Education for about 4 years, which includes my time in undergrad. I’ve been interested in making that transition to higher education. I’ve recently been invited to a second round of interviews for an Academic Success Coach position and I wanted some help in learning what type of questions I would be asked? Any topics I should study beforehand? I just wanted to see if anybody here has made that transition to higher ed, any help would be greatly appreciated!
For context, my experience consist of being a student teacher, tutor, Education instructor at a museum, math teacher for a short time and right now I work as an ESL paraprofessional.

We did digital invitations for our April wedding. Our local post office has been notorious for losing mail, and we initially sent out paper invitations to close family but only 50% of them actually received the invitation. Is it rude or impersonal to do digital thank you cards? My mom has offered to mail them if we chose to physical cards, so it’s more likely that they will be delivered, but I’m just wondering if we should go ahead and keep it consistent with the digital communication! Would appreciate your thoughts.

I have just graduated with my PhD, and have been applying to mostly visiting positions, but I also did apply to one TT position at a school that (based on everything I know so far) seems like a fantastic match. I've had a lot of success getting zoom interviews, but hadn't been invited for a followup with any of them until now.
So my first ever campus visit (and teaching demo/talk) is for a teaching focused tenure track position at a school I'm struggling to avoid becoming completely emotionally invested in, and I want to do the best I possibly can, both preparing for it and day of. It's a pretty small 4 year liberal arts school, with a lot of focus on building professor-student relationships and campus community. For myself, I've got a good research background with a decent amount of papers and experiences. My teaching experience consists of teaching labs for the whole of my PhD, and reading up on teaching literature (I got a handful of book reccomendations, and have read some papers).
Any advice you can give for preparation and/or the visit itself would be greatly appreciated!

Hey so I love Bourbon but I don't really have a large breadth of experience with it. One of my coworkers had me over to try bourbons and I had a wonderful time. I've now been invited to a bourbon sharing night, where everyone brings a bottle of bourbon to try. So I am looking to find a good bourbon to share with a bunch of bourbon heads (who admittedly most of which are in a much higher salary bracket than I). So I for myself have anywhere from 70-120 dollars to spend on said bottle (at the high end). So within that price range, what would be a good, interesting bottle to bring? The more complex the flavor the better, as I would like the flavor, even if it isn't the "best" to be a good discussion point. Any advice or recommendations would be appreciated.
Thanks in advance!

this is a girl i dated long long ago and we recently reconnected a few months back… not official yet but after this i don’t see how we couldn’t be soon
i got invited to my friends grad dinner and decided to take her and introduce her to my people, some of whom she knew back in the day. it was cool to see them reunite. she was very socially anxious that whole time though. after that we went to my friends apartment where they were pregaming to go out drinking later which her and i originally were not planning on doing. but my girl friends took such a liking to her and she was having such a good time i figured she would want to go out and wouldn’t unless i did too so i decided to. she was so happy when i told her that and cuddled up to me the rest of the time we were there.
i had to go home and change and took her with me, she got to meet my dogs which meant a lot to me and it made me so happy. i started falling in love with her watching her play with them. afterwards we went out drinking (i stayed sober though cause i had to take her home), she had a great time with her new friends and always came back over to me to dance on me and she kissed me a few times. my friends older brother came over to me while she was getting another drink and said “i see how she’s looking at you, that’s not just your friend” lol
then right as we were leaving she realized her phone got pick pocketed :( with her wallet attached too. poor thing. she was crying as i took her home and i had to talk to her mom over the phone to help cancel her cards. surreal, i hadn’t spoken to her mother in like 8 years. i held her hand all the way home and got her gatorade and just told her how much i appreciated the night we had together. after i dropped her off i just sat there shocked, i never thought i could be the man for someone and lead them like i had for her that night. she’s such a sweetheart and there’s no one else i’d rather sit and have cry on me lol. i hope to officially call her my partner soon

As the title suggests, I'm needing a clan to join to hit up the vendor. I pretty much play solo or with my brother and we're both fairly new. Access to as many vendors as possible seems like the right way to go so we were wondering if anyone would graciously invite us in to their clan. We play on xbox and would greatly appreciate it. Thanks all for your consideration

Morrigan went to join her lily in her room, joining her apothecary in the making of their garden. She hoped it would calm her down, she hoped that she could smell that sweet smell again, she hoped that she could show her traitor son that he was wrong. She would show him that he was wrong, even if she had no idea how to garden.
Morrigan spent a lot of time working on the garden with her lily and apothecary, often without her armor. She wasn't sure how she would feel outside of her armor in the presence of another, but she grew to appreciate the opportunity. She noticed that the apothecary wore their mask less often around her, and even offered to help her with gardening. Morrigan refused, stubbornly insisting that she could do it herself, even though she was having no success whatsoever. However, even though she found the experience of gardening to be incredibly frustrating, it was also calming in a sense. The apothecary found this stubborn determination adorable in a sense. They had figured out what kind of flowers their lady liked and grew the ones that they liked best. It helped with their lady's unique smell, even though they had gotten somewhat used to it by now. They even started making perfumes, leaving them in their lady’s room without her knowledge. Morrigan loved the perfumes she knew her lily had made, but didnt say anything in case her apothecary would find out she actually liked them.
After much time and hard work, Morrigan finally got her first flower to bloom. It was a white lily, which she placed gently in the apothecary room, as a token. The apothecary found it rather touching, pinning their lady’s flower to their breast pocket, so they could carry it wherever they go.
The Primarch’s room would soon become a beautiful green space, so much so that Morrigan would often take off her mask when she was alone to smell the flowers and experience the work she and her lily had done. One day, while her lily was gardening, she handed them a new set of orders stating they would be moving into the room to better take care of the garden. The apothecary nodded, and moved their stuff into the garden, before returning to their work. They noticed that Morrigan didn't wear her mask anymore, and she never wore her armor in the garden. They didn’t ask their lady about it; they simply appreciated the trust.
Morrigan started bringing her Lily out of the garden more often, taking them on campaigns, to meetings and the like. Her sons questioned her intentions of bringing an apothecary during discussions of military matters.
“Mother, is it strictly necessary for the apothecary to be here? They have no training in the art of war, and they are not participating in the combat on the surface. I think it would be bes….”
Morrigan stared daggers at her son, her mask hiding the anger in her face. “The apothecary will stay. This way they can best prepare for the incoming casualties. That is final. Now let us continue planning the assault.” The apothecary smiled beneath their mask but made sure that this would be evident to their lady’s sons. They judged it would be best to not antagonize them.
After several successful campaigns, the Endurance once again returned to Barbaros, though as they arrived, they were greeted by another ship orbiting the planet. That ship was the Photep, flagship of Morrigan’s sister Magnolia. Morrigan had her vox master send a vox to her sister’s ship.
“Sister, what brings you here?” Morrigan said, questioning the intentions of her sister. She knew that Magnolia would not be here for a simple social call. She was here for something, probably knowledge.
“Sister! I am simply here to pay you a visit. I’ll arrive shortly.” Then the vox cut.
Morrigan gripped her scythe angrily. ‘That bitch’ she thought, ‘inviting herself, ignoring my questions. I’ll show her arrogant ass what for.’ She turned to her lily, her anger fading somewhat at the sight of her flower still pinned to her lily’s chest. “Apothecary, come with me. My sister may need some ‘assistance’ after I’m done with her.” Lily nodded, following quickly at the side of their lady as they made their way to the hangar.
Magnolia’s Stormhawk landed shortly after Morrigan and her Lily arrived in the hangar. Magnolia stepped out alone, a group of her sons waiting behind on the Stormhawk. Magnolia’s eyes were immediately drawn to the powerful psychic energy coming from the apothecary next to her sister. Lily could feel a strong probing psychic force in their mind, searching for information. Lily could also feel their lady’s anger and burning hatred. They gently placed their hand on Morrigan’s, before returning their hand to their side. Morrigan was shaken by this simple act, but she decided she would deal with it later. First, she needed to handle her sister.
Magnolia greeted her sister with a smile and gestured to the apothecary to Morrigan’s side. “Sister, what a lovely little psyker you have there. Have you finally changed your mind?” Magnolia said smugly.
Morrigan advanced upon Magnolia, ready to behead her sister for her insolence and arrogance. But once again, her Lily placed their hand upon hers. She knew it would be best to ensure they did not get hurt. “My Lily…!” Morrigan's voice, once angry, was now caught in her throat. Had she said it out loud. “Ahem, my apothecary is not a psyker. They are simply a talented apothecary, not a sorcerer like you. Perhaps your sorcery is failing you sister? Perhaps you could still see properly if you had both of your eyes.” She spat, her mask expelling gas in powerful blasts of anger. “If you have a purpose for your visit, state it. Otherwise get off my ship and return to your librarium sister.”
Magnolia, now frustrated, turned and left. “Your ignorance will bite you one day sister, that I assure you.” She said before her Stormhawk returned to her ship. She would find the knowledge she was looking for another way. Barbarus surely had knowledge that she could make great use of. She would just have to try and get it some other way.
Morrigan looked down at their Lily. They had held their hand the whole time, and it almost brought a smile to Morrigan’s face. “Let us return to our duties.” She said, letting go of her lily’s hand, and walked with them back to the garden. Morrigan couldn’t quite understand what emotions were going through her mind, so she focused on cultivating her plants, keeping her mind away from what she went through.
Nurgle was watching the two, smiling uglily. His plan would be put into place soon. Soon he would have the Primarch in his grips. He just needed to give her a little bit of a push. Targeting her apothecary would be of great benefit…

I need to preface this by saying that my mom is by far the worse parent between her and my dad. She became a stay-at-home mom when she had my brother, and by her own admission, she decided not to do anything with friends, maintain friendships, or create friendships for as long as my siblings and I were home (I'm the youngest). Around 2016, my mom just became so much worse than she'd ever been. I have happy memories of her from my childhood, but my high school years do not see her fondly. It was then that I realized she was emotionally abusive, and when I reached college, I started attending a non-SBC Baptist church and she told me to go to hell. For over a year, she constantly harped on me that I had lost my way and spit in God's face and then she made everything about her and that I hated her (true) and that I was spitting in her and my dad's face because I wanted to spend spring break with friends or stay in my college city that I loved for the summer.
One of the reasons I'm trying so hard to graduate early is so I have less time of being financially dependent on my parents. Right now, they're funding my education and living situation, and that is good. I appreciate that. However, they lord that over my head at all times. I started dating when I started grad school, and I posted a cute picture of my partner and me kissing, and my mom told me that I shouldn't go on a weekend trip with him anymore because "you know how men are, he'll want to sleep with you" and then told me that she saw that picture and was unable to sleep all night. She picks fights with me and got mad when I wanted to go with my partner to a museum that my family wouldn't appreciate bc it was "unsafe" to uber with another person in broad daylight. After a vacation, I was with my partner and his family, and my mom got mad at me for not driving home in rush hour when I had told her that I knew for a fact the route was actually safer at night. Then she told me that me and my partner didn't need to be joined at the hip and started criticizing him. She senses that she's losing control and I'm sick of her taking it out on me. It's not my fault that she didn't make a life for herself outside of her children.
She and my sister are big proponents of "family is the most important thing" but will refuse to acknowledge that family can be built. If I did the whole "the actual phrase is 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb'" my whole family would get really pissed. I care more about my close friends from undergrad and my partner. I like my siblings okay, and I would be a lot more receptive to a relationship with my dad if he were divorced from my mom.
Yesterday, I created a finsta because I like posting but I need there to be no pressure on receiving likes. My mom requested to follow it and at first, I allowed it, but it immediately made the finsta less fun, so I told her that parents are not supposed to follow finstas and even siblings don't always (my partner has three sisters, two of whom have a finsta — there's only one other sibling per finsta there). My mom got mad at this explanation, saying that instagram wasn't real, and then was mad again that I was like "then what does it matter?"
I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but interactions with my mom are the only things that can immediately deflate me. My partner sees how I react whenever I get a text from her, and my entire demeanor changes. I have panic attacks sometimes when she texts me. I've muted her contact before. She acts like I'm dumb, and she doesn't respect my degree because I'm liberal (and not a conservative expert). I wanted something for myself where she couldn't touch it, and then she was pissed that she couldn't. And it's frustrating because I'm still on their insurance (which is good and I like it, admittedly) because I'm still at that age, and since my parents are traditional, they would pay for my wedding with my partner, and I would also appreciate that. But I know even that will be an issue because my partner and I are deadset on a no kids wedding and only inviting close friends and family. If I could cut off my mom and still have an okay relationship with my dad, I'd do it. But the people who have loved me better than my family ever has are my friends, my undergrad mentors, and my partner. I don't like my mom, and I don't love her. She is an obligation that I cannot wait to be free from.

Backstory: My (37F) son (17M) has a very strained relationship with his father and stepmom. He is trans (FtM) and they are Catholic, so they refuse to accept his transition and call him by his dead name and pronouns. He lives with me full time after having a huge fight with them shortly after coming out. (He used to live with them 50/50). His father is quite passive, and stepmom is a narcissist. He goes along with everything she says.
My son is graduating in a month. He just handed out invites to his grad party. Shortly after giving one to his dad and stepmom, Stepmom text my son about his grades and if he is even graduating. (My son doesn't have the best GPA but he is on track to graduate). She was extremely condescending on the texts and asked if he needed to come stay with her and dad because obviously I wasn't tracking his grades well enough.
He sent me the texts, and I kindly text her back, saying I appreciate the concern, but he is on track to graduate and I have it handled. And that in the future, I wish she would text more about his day then to just get on him about grades. And that it hurts him that she seemingly only reaches out when something is wrong. She then responded with a snarky that she can see the grades and she called the school, and that DEAD NAME'S counselor is also concerned about his grades. And that she texts DEAD NAME all the time. (She does not. My son tells me every time her or dad text or call).
After that, I blew up on her. I told her his name is PREFERRED NAME and his pronouns are He/Him and it's time she respected that. She countered with " You are a fucking idiot. You can't change your sex, you fucking moron. You have her so brainwashed, it's pathetic."
After that, I told her not to bother coming to the grad party and that she was uninvited. She said "Try and stop me."
My son was pretty upset about the whole thing afterwards, and had a bit of a mental health spiral. I think he is afraid that his dad won't come now.
So, Am I the asshole? Obviously, I was just trying to protect my son. I have been civil and compliant of this narcissistic bitch for years and I can't keep letting her talk to my son the way she does anymore. I'm starting to think maybe I should have just ignored her to stay civil until after graduation.

I appreciate anyone that has the time to read. 8 months ago I was out drinking with my friends, the night progressed and I bumped into these 2 girls, we hit it off and to my surprised they invited me back to they’re house, and so I went. Both girls had been extremely flirty with me all night so I was very happy to go back with them to their house, things progressed and we had a threesome. One of the girls however had a boyfriend (I didn’t know at the time) and half way through changed her mind and left the room. When things finished up she was upset and begged me not to tell anyone because she was worried she would ruin her relationship, me being immature, proceeded to go home and tell all my friends, and then it got back to her boyfriend who actually thanked me for revealing that she wasn’t loyal. The morning after the threesome she messaged me saying “please don’t tell anyone about last night” and many more messages (which I still have proof of). Recently I bumped into her and she said she’s considering reporting me for rape since I ruined her relationship, I’m terrified even though I know I’m innocent. I have the messages of her saying not to tell anyone about what happened but I’m just curious would that be enough to prove my innocence? Thanks for reading if anyone did🙂

I know this isn’t nearly as bad as some folks have it and my relationship with my mom has come miles since I’ve been yellow rocking her for the last 5 years.
For Mother’s Day, my husband and I had invited his parents and my mom to dinner at a fancier restaurant. My mom immediately started suggesting other places, saying it’s too expensive. I finally just said, “Don’t make this weird, it’s our treat.” But she kept making small comments over the course of the week that I ignored.
The day arrives and we have a nice meal but when my husband tries to pay for dinner, my mom has already given her card to the MANAGER. And no amount of cajoling from me could get the waitress to take our card.
Honestly? I was pissed and I said so and probably made the rest of the dinner awkward. She sent me the typical “Don’t be mad hehehehe.” Text later in the evening and all I could muster was a “Thanks for dinner, love you.”
I have no issue whatsoever with a free meal! She treats 95% of the time and I don’t care and am appreciative. But here, she knew exactly what she was doing with this power play and accomplished a few things:

1. Set her up as the savior of dinner over my in-laws which probably embarrassed them. She’s done this before.
2. Set herself up as the martyr to pay for the expensive dinner.
3. Insinuated that I must not have known how much it would cost and that we didn’t have enough money.

Honestly, it’s exhausting. Especially because I make more money than she ever did. It feels exactly the same as when she doesn’t open my gifts for her birthday or Christmas and just hoards them for months.
Welp, hope she enjoyed paying for her own and my MILs Mother’s Day gift, I guess.

Hi everyone,
I am coming from the Revenue Cycle Management industry (specifically back end rev cycle) after 4.5 years of experience at the manager level.
I recently had three interviews; one with a principal consultant and two with managing principals. I have an invite to interview with HR this week and wanted to get some thoughts from this group here.
If they do extend an offer, it will be a for a senior consultant position for Revenue Cycle. I have been doing some market research, but struggling to nail down a good pay range I should expect, or what I should I say if they ask for my salary.
Any insights or experienced you all could share with me would be very appreciated.

So i'm doing this on a throwaway account because I really need advice and I don't know what to do. I don't want my boyfriend potentially finding this and getting in my head, I would really appreciate unbiased opinions. I'm sorry if some of the grammar is wrong, i'm writing this very stressed out.
I 18F have been with my boyfriend 18M for well over a year now. Next week he is supposed to have his schools prom and he invited me to go. I already paid for my ticket and I have a dress. We had plans for what we would do for prom weekend that included going to the beach. We were going to go to the same beach his friends would be at so we could all hangout together.
Yesterday out of nowhere he tells me "So my friends have their own idea for prom weekend and you can't come so is it cool i go?" and he's smiling from ear to ear. I was so confused and i just stayed silent for a bit because we were out. When we got back to my house i asked him what he meant by "you can't come" and he told me his friends said i wasn't allowed but that it's fine because no girlfriends are allowed. I told him we already had plans to go and he said that the plans with his friends seem better and that i can just let it go it's not a big deal. He kept telling me I had nothing to be upset about and that he didn't see anything wrong with what he was saying. I started getting upset and told him he already agreed to spend the weekend with me and i was just telling him how excited I was for this trip and he just responded by saying it wasn't even that deep. I told him he needs to leave because this isn't the first time we have had issues with him not prioritizing me.
He left but eventually came back so we could talk but everytime i tried to say that I was hurt he wanted to cancel our plans for his friends he kept telling me I was overreacting and that we never even had plans. I told him yes we did have plans and even showed him the texts confirming we were going. He told me that those texts don't mean anything and it's not like he's ditching me. I told him he is ditching me because I already took off of work and I was getting money together to buy us what we needed and he said it doesn't count. I asked why we couldn't just go together because we were going to hangout with his friends there regardless and he said I wouldn't understand and that they are getting an Airbnb and he'd rather spend the weekend with them than with me. Hearing him say that really hurt me and i asked him again why we couldn't all just hangout together and he kept saying I wouldn't understand and that he needs this alone time.
I told him I wasn't comfortable with him going for the whole weekend with specific friends of his because they brag all the time about how much they cheat and how fun it is to have so many different girls and if my boyfriend gets intoxicated they could try and influence him to do something. He told me I'm being controlling and abusive not letting him see his friends. I told him that's not what i'm trying to do at all it just hurts me that he's canceling last minute and telling me he wants to just go without me for the whole weekend.
We got nowhere with our argument and he ended up leaving. When I spoke with my parents about it my dad said it sounds really suspicious that he doesn't want me there with him and that his main point of wanting to go is that his friends are getting an airbnb. My dad asked what is it that he wants to do so badly at the airbnb that I can't be there for.
We spoke on the phone later on and everytime i asked him what it was he wanted to do that i couldn't be there for, he just kept telling me how I wouldn't understand. I told him if its really that big a deal to get an airbnb i'll literally buy one for us and he said it's not the same and he needs to be with his friends. He told me i need to stop making it a big deal and that i'm making it something it's not. I asked him why can't he just tell me what it is i "wouldnt understand" and he said no. He started telling me that i'm making stuff up in my head and i'm getting myself upset. He said how I have no reason to be upset and that we never had plans to begin with and the texts i showed him meant nothing and weren't real plans. I told him it felt like he was gaslighting me because he just kept saying over and over how it's all in my head and he was like "then i guess i'm gaslighting you." He told me "fine you know what i'll just cancel the whole thing then." and i asked him if he was really going to cancel an entire trip just because I want to come along and he said yes. He then told me he was done talking to me and he started ignoring me. He knows that being ignored is very triggering for me due to stuff that happened in my childhood so he starts to ignore me whenever we argue because he says it's the only way I'm gonna see that i'm in the wrong because she says i make everything a bigger deal than what it is.
I don't know what to do here and I feel so stuck. I don't understand why it's so important to him I don't go when we already had plans that I would. I don't know what changed between us making plans and then him conversing with his friends. Am i actually in the wrong here and abusing him like he said?? Am i really just getting upset over nothing?? I feel like i'm going crazy because I genuinely don't think i'm wrong for being hurt but he keeps telling me I am and that I need to drop it. Please any advice would help. I really love him but I feel like there's something going on. What should I do?

So I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (23M) for a couple months now. Not a long relationship, but it’s been fast moving and honestly it’s been wonderful. My bf has a son (3, we’ll cal him Timmy) who I absolutely adore and it’s very obvious that his son loves spending time with me. I never force anything on his son, but if we’re all together walking through a mall or park he wants to hold my hand, if I’m spending the night he will wake me up over his dad to get him a bottle, and there are times where I’ve been in my own home and he is crying for me. There are other things, but it does have me feeling like a stepmom
Timmy’s mom is in his life, but barely and only because her parents pressure her to be there. However, she does not enjoy spending time with her son and is constantly calling my bf to pick him up because she wants to go out clubbing or she just doesn’t want him there at her place anymore. Timmy is autistic and it’s been a learning curve for everyone as he was just diagnosed about two months ago.
There are things I keep finding out about Timmy’s mom that honestly make my blood boil. The fact that when Timmy was born premature and spent nearly 100 days in the NICU and it was mostly my bf visiting solo, the fact that for the first few months of Timmy’s life she went MIA and blocked my bf so she didn’t have to watch her son, the fact that my bf has never had a weekend off unless he specifically asks for a singular weekend, to which she will whine and complain how she has plans to go to the club. There have been times where Timmy was being dropped off at his mom’s and he was just crying and screaming saying he doesn’t want to go, trying to open the car door to get back in the car. One thing that really did it for me was that she has never spent a Mother’s Day with Timmy. Like ever. Not even a phone call with him. My bf gets him on all the holiday’s because she can’t be bothered. There is far more she’s done to piss me off, but his sister flat out told me “I’m sorry my brother chose someone so stupid to have a kid with.” His mom told me, in her best English possible (she’s an immigrant) “you are a strong girl. Fuck that b.”
So for Mothers Day this year my mom invited my bf and Timmy over. My parents both seem to really like them, and even asked if they wanted to spend the night. My dad has never been okay with me having a partner sleepover before so this was big news for me. Since we didn’t prepare for a sleepover, we made a late night run to target to grab a bottle, some milk (my parents only drink almond milk), and a little snack for us. While at checkout, the cashier told me Happy Mother’s Day. It caught me by surprise, but I realized I did look like Timmy’s mother in that moment with the three of us shopping together and buying mainly baby stuff. When we were walking out I giggled to my boyfriend about it.
It’s important to note that I had an unwanted abortion mid last year. I wasn’t in the best place, I wasn’t dating the person, and the guy had driven me the clinic because he wasn’t ready and he didn’t want to be a deadbeat dad. Everyone else in my life said it was for the best, but I still mourn that loss.
On Monday when we got back to my bf’s house he said he had something for me. He gifted me a vinyl of Harry’s Styles’s Fine Line album (something I lost years ago) and a little stuffed Care Bear since I have a thing for 80s cartoons. It was really sweet and almost brought me to tears but I held them back. He went on to explain how he wasn’t sure if I would be okay with it, but he wanted to get me something anyways, not only for the baby I lost, but also for the way I’ve stepped up and immediately accepted Timmy as part of my life. He said in the three years he’s had his son, no one has helped him out as much as I have and he is forever grateful for that. It just made me feel really lucky and blessed and appreciated. I’m so happy to have these two in my life.

As title suggests, my girlfriend (21F) was invited by her male friend (21M) to go freediving/beach. Her male friend might bring more friends (non mutual friends), but this is not a guarantee - it is possible that it’d just be her and her male friend on the trip.
My girlfriend is currently in her first year of medical school and has been having trouble making friends, according to herself (she only has a few friends). She only recently met this male friend of hers in medschool.
My girlfriend has cheated on me in the past (back in high school, and for context, we’ve been together for 6 years). I still do trust her and want to place my trust in her. However, i do not trust her male friend as i know little about him and i know how creepy other men could be.
I have no intentions of stopping my girlfriend from going on the said trip since i understand that it’d be good for her to make more friends. Nevertheless, that doesn’t discount the fact that I feel sort of uneasy about this whole thing. I have no plans of talking to her about this though since i’m still not sure what to feel and it might inconvenience her.
Is feeling uneasy normal in this situation, or am I just overthinking? Should I be concerned about this at all? I’d appreciate any advice yall could give me.
TLDR: GF is going freediving with her M friend. M friend says he’s inviting other people but not guaranteed so it might just be the two of them on the trip. I have been feeling uneasy about this, though not to an extent that I’d freak out and call her out for it.
Edit: Their trip will be an overnight trip where they’ll sleep in a communal room (room for sharing with strangers). Also, I can’t be on the trip since my girlfriend now lives far away because of medschool and I have classes from Mon to Sat.

Back in August of 2023, I met a girl at a music venue who I really believed was the one. We hit it off immediately, but the problem was I met her the same night she was on a first date with whom I thought was her gay best friend. The first thing I asked her was, “Are you a Virgo?”. She lit up and said “Holy fuck how’d you know?” That was the first time I saw her smile on her date. We agreed to hang out sometime, but didn’t until November. Although it took three months for us to make plans, it was one of the best nights ever. She invited me to go to the 1975 with her and we went. But not before mutually agreeing that Matty Heely was giving us the ick and we should leave and get Taco Bell instead.
From then on, we were inseparable for two months before it all came crashing down. Sometimes I feel like “Good Luck, Babe!” was written about my situation with her with how spot on every lyric is. She’s living in comphet and refuses to let her feelings come up to the surface. She didn’t like that I was bringing her true feelings out. Even though we don’t talk anymore, we still make Spotify playlists about each other on the DL. She never goes to her boyfriend’s band shows anymore and neither of them seem happy on social media. I made the mistake of trying to play the long game and grew impatient.
Lesbian veterans, you’re about to facepalm really hard when I tell you this. During the two months her and I were inseparable, I created a journal about her. A lot of journal entries about the things I wish I could tell her was shoved into my notes app. Last night, I sent her the Google doc with this message attached:
“alright i lied. this is the last text im going to send you. i need to do this so i can move on with my life. you must think this is random, but ive been sober for two weeks and thats what it took to realize me not sending you this has been eating me alive for months now. it doesnt really matter because we’re never going to talk again. i know you don’t hate me, and i don’t hate you. i just need to get this off my chest. don’t read it all at once. read as little or much as you want, or none at all. i’d just appreciate if you made me feel heard in this moment above all others. and i would prefer you not respond until you’ve really reflected on everything. maybe don’t respond at all. follow what your gut says.”
Hopefully now I can move on. I think she’s readying it now, but I also think she’s not ready to accept herself. She’s 19 and i’m 22. I don’t think she’ll make the realization for a while.
Thanks for reading everyone. Words of encouragement are appreciated.

Trigger warning - religious differences
I always bragged about how awesome my extended family was. NO family is perfect, but I heard horror stories and always counted my blessings that I had strong ties with my Aunt and uncles since I was raised an only child. That was until a few months ago when my last living Aunt, whom I considered a second mom, shattered me.
Ok, some backstory here. My aunt is a Jehovah’s Witness. Now before you get all judgy, I have always loved her, my uncle and her son with all of my heart. I still do. I respect that they have found faith and live by this code on the daily. I have met many people from their congregation and loved them all (ok, a couple of exceptions). I also appreciate the community they have and love they all show each other. If it weren’t for the religion itself, I would have converted.
I, however, am pagan and have always been since I was about 5 (even the first book I signed out from the school’s library was about witchcraft). Not raised that way, but always found spiritual comfort in nature and the natural world. I have a very strong connection and dedication to my Powers That Be and work every day to help the world be a better place. My Aunt did not know my religion until about 7 years ago. That being said, she and I would have very philosophical conversations when we hung out together. Even at the age of 8, I would listen to her preach to me and ask questions to which she never had answers. I remember her telling me how only 144,000 people would be allowed in heaven and didn’t I think that would be wonderful knowing that our whole family could be together again after we died. We’d all be in heaven if we were all Jehova;s witnesses. I had gone with her many times to do field service (door to door) and asked her why they do that if there’s only a certain number of people allowed. Didn’t that lessen her chances of getting in because I’m sure there were many people more deserving than myself. How did she know for sure she’d be one of the ones to get in and was that fair to keep bringing people into the religion when all the spaces were probably already filled up?
At 8 years old, I had many questions and was just trying to figure these things out. Since she was an adult, I figured she had the answers. My questions were not with malice, just for a want of better understanding. When she didn’t have the answers, I'd ask my mother and grandmother. While they were extremely amused, they said they never understood either. They never said anything bad about her or her attempts to get them to convert, just allowed me to explore religion and spirituality as I wished so I could make my own decision of what was right for me.
Once I was an adult, I avoided talking to her about religion, but found that if I didn’t ask questions and just let her talk, it made her happy. I know she’s a good person at heart and that’s all that matters. After my Mom passed, my aunt and I talked almost every week. I loved talking to her and she became even more like a mom to me. She gave me encouragement and we supported each other through health and emotional crises. I’d make it a point to try and visit at least once a year for a few days so she could visit with my daughter and I. We’d always do lunch with her friends and I loved it. I fell in love with some of the people in her congregation and wished we could live closer to hang out more. I, however, never wavered on my spiritual beliefs, but I have never cared about the religion, race, or sexuality of anyone. If we got along, we were friends and that was that.
My aunt and I had come to an understanding that I would not convert and that we would love and respect each other regardless. Religious talk was off the table for the most part until both of my uncles (my aunt’s two brothers) passed and she had a very hard time dealing with it. She was the last surviving sibling and she was sinking into a depression. I’d talk to her at length and listen to her as she mourned the fact that she would never have contact with them (and my mom) in heaven because they never converted. When she asked me what I believed, I told her that I believed that the soul lived on after the body died and that I believed in reincarnation. I explained my beliefs were closer to hindu and buddhism than christianity (so she had context). We had very long talks and she expressed that she respected my views and actually found comfort in talking with me.
That was until my daughter and I opened our store about 3 years ago. It’s a metaphysical shop and we have crystals, teas, gifts, jewelry, candles and more (about 10% strict;y pagan). My aunt was happy for us until it dawned on her that we might sell pagan stuff. I told her what we sold and she asked me if I was a witch. I replied that I suppose that was one way to describe me, but, again, I considered myself spiritual and that I followed a path closer to buddhism, hinduism, native american. I sent a couple of pictures of the jewelry that we made and she said when we came down, we should bring the jewelry making.
We did, I brought down our best crystals to wrap and bracelet materials and my daughter and I made her a necklace with a very expensive stone (A $200 piece). She brought her friends over and they picked out crystals that they wanted, made bracelets and such. We had fun and I was happy to do it, though I wasn’t expecting people that I had never met before. Still, we had fun. My daughter and I also brought her a basket with local items from our hometown, (Raw honey, handmade stoneware mugs, cutting board, herbal tea and some other items made by us as well) She was thrilled. My aunt and uncle had taken a couple of bad falls a few months before and so my daughter and I made them hand carved cedar walking sticks as well because we knew they went for regular walks and thought it would help their balance. It felt amazing to lavish expensive and heartfelt gifts on them as I has struggled so long with money. I was finally in a place that I could do it. To say the gifts probably totalled in excess of 1K is on the low side, but I was still happy to do it.
Besides the fact that they tried converting my daughter when I wasn’t around, it was a lovely visit. The only problem I had was with a new person my aunt introduced us to. This woman, we’ll call her Dee, ignored me and only talked to my daughter. She was my age if not older, but conversed with my daughter, 17, like I wasn’t there. They traded contact info and Dee insisted that they keep in touch while my daughter was in college. Dee said she was going to keep an eye on her. I thought that was odd, but I did enjoy the feeling of having an extended family sort of since I actually had no family besides my Aunt.
Let’s jump forward to the following year and we were struggling financially. Not horrible, but unable to lavish the gifts that we did the year before. Instead, I created a beautiful aromatherapy candle, some delicious herbal teas and we found a couple of very rare antique tea cups that had amazing value to them (about $100 a piece). We made a basket for her and I decided we would cook for them. (gluten free, soy free, dairy free etc). Our visit went so well, it was great to see them. We just enjoyed hanging out with them and talking. They loved the meal we made for them and the dairy free organic chocolate I made. Everything was great until the day we were leaving. Dee showed up and again ignored me, talked to my daughter and chastised her for getting a pet snake as that was an animal associated with the devil. My daughter is one to push the envelope a bit and said how she wanted to get a tattoo as well, one of a snake. Both my aunt and Dee were shocked and said she should never get a tattoo.. Again related to the devil, I went to the bathroom as I was not involved in the conversation and knew my daughter could hold her own. Little do they know that my daughter is also trans. I told her not to say anything to them just yet. I came back to them talking about how college was going and I thought my aunt and Dee would faint when she said her college roommate was male. She quickly explained that it was fine because he was gay and how awesome he was (he is btw). She quickly realized what I meant when she saw their reaction to him being gay. It wasn’t that she was living with a boy, it was that he was gay and “why did he choose to be gay.” I tried redirecting the conversation a couple of times, but they ignored me.
They finally let it go, but just after Dee left, we were getting ready to depart as well. My aunt returned the basket I made for her (minus the expensive tea cups). She said she could not accept them as they were touched by the devil. Shocked, I asked what she meant. She said that because they came from my store, they carried Satan's influence and she could not have them in our home. Truthfully, I explained that I made those items for her and that the only things that came from the store were the teacups. She was confused why I had gotten upset. When I explained that I gave her a gift and if she didn’t want it, she could regift it or throw it away. That gift came from my heart with all the love I have for her and that I didn't need to know her opinions about the gifts because It insinuated I, myself, was evil and it was extremely hurtful. She basically continued on insisting that I was just not aware of how much Satan had a hold of me. All I could do was tell her how much I loved her and leave.
I didn’t take her calls and cried about this for over a month. I finally felt strong enough to talk to her and again she insisted that because those items touched my hands, they were influenced by satan and she wished I could understand how they just can’t have that influence in their home. Frustrated, I asked how she could shop at grocery stores or buy anything from department stores because she can’t guarantee that those items didn’t touch hands that were influenced by satan. Also , I asked her how they could have eaten the food I prepared for them and why did they even invite me into their home to begin with if that’s the way she felt about me. She suddenly needed to go.
We talked a few times since then but it always came back to religion. At one point I asked her again why she would even invite us to her home if she felt that way. Her response was to save my daughter. The pain and heartache she has inflicted is immense, but I cannot bring myself to argue the point because I’m afraid if I make my point to her, it will break her. She’s in her 80’s and I believe has the beginnings of dementia. Her religion brings her comfort and I don’t want to say anything that might make her doubt her religion at her advanced age.
I’ve decided it is probably best for both of our mental health to stop all contact with her( with the exception of sending cards telling them how much I love them) even though I’ve always seen her as a second mom. AITA for making this decision and not trying to work things out with her or allow her to believe that I still might convert?
*** Please understand this is not a bash on any religion. Everyone has the right to believe in whatever religion they wish. That includes me, so if you feel the need to bash them or me for our spiritual choices, you can move along ***
I have never felt like I needed to hide any part of me from my friends, family, and the public in general. Not until now. Buckle up, this is a bumpy ride.
I've always been kind hearted, almost to a flaw. I took care of my grandmother, my step-dad, my mom and helped with a family friend during long term and terminal illnesses. I had my daughter and, without her father's help, raised her on my own with very little to no support. I helped friends with their farm who left me homeless in the end because I want interested in an extramarital affair. I lost my home and all that I loved including my husband because he lied to me and never paid it mortgage while I was recovering from an illness. In short, I have had a tough life, but it has never made me turn my back on anyone who needed help or in difficult family when they were ignored by the others. That's just some background before I tell you this situation.
Three years ago, after a bout of covid, my daughter was suicidal. She had been in the top three of her HS class and yet at that point almost failed her junior year. Not knowing if she would have the emotional strength to face college and adulting in general, I set up a plan B for her. I started a store in her name and that way she'd have something at least to fall back on if she was unable to function in the m-f 9 to 5 world. We started slow by doing craft fairs, seeking crystals, candles, jewelry, and gifts. We were kicked out of one because the person running it assumed we were witches. She was not wrong exactly as we identified as pagan, but we lived our life closest to the Buddhist and Hindu traditions, not traditional wicca. These were people who knew us for years and were considered acquaintances if not friends.
Our business flourished and we ended up opening our brick and mortar that fall after remodeling our garage/ barn and turning it into a store front. Even though I run it for my daughter, it is hers and we work together to keep it going.
In the past few years I've lost my mom, and two uncles. I have no family besides my mother's sister and her husband which we were pretty close. My aunt knew that I was pagan and had tried recruiting me into her religion since I was 5. Even at that tender age her religion never made sense and I would ask her questions to which she never had answers. I accepted her and respected her and her religion even though I didn't agree. I loved the people she introduced me to that were in her church and I always got along with them. That is until we visited the year after we started our store. My aunt was thrilled about us bringing crystals down and making jewelry with her. We met a new friend of hers (middle aged woman) who ignored me completely and oozed affection on my daughter. She got my daughter's contact info and contacted her frequently. Trying to convert and ”save” her. My daughter wasn't having it as even though she was in a delicate state, she is very level headed and strong willed.
This year we visited and we brought herbal tea, candies, and rare vintage tea cups for my aunt. The day we were leaving, she handed back everything but the vintage tea cups and told me she couldn't accept them because they were touched by Satan (aka made by my hands). To say I was devastated is an understatement. This woman was always like a second mom to me and we had grown closer after my mom passed away. It was a 20 hour drive home and I cried most of the way. I cried for weeks after a well. Thinking of it now still brings me tears. As she was telling me that Satan had a hold on me and that she was trying to save me, all I did was remind her how much I loved her and my uncle. Every time since then that we have talked, she says the same thing, but now she told me I was a lost cause. I feel like trying to stay in touch is detrimental to her mental health ( and my own). I don't want to give up or abandon the last of my family, but I can't talk to her and endure the endless insinuations that I'm evil because I don't believe in her religion. She took a bad fall and broke her arm. The last time we spoke, she talked as if it was my fault for bringing the devil into her home.
While I could usually brush this off as delusional ranting, it hits hard because the same day she fell, my dad died. I know the Powers That Be only give as much as we can handle, I just wish they didn't have so much faith in me.
They are in their 80s. I know in all the pieces of my broken heart that they'll never be able to accept my daughter and I unless we change religions and it has crossed my mind just to say we have to put her at ease, but I can't lie like that to them and we cannot betray ourselves like that either. By

So I have been playing dnd for about 6ish years now and I finally had a pretty established group of players who all play two different dnd campaigns together. I invited a friend to play with us about a year ago thinking that they would just be in our shortest running campaign temporarily.
However, once we took a break from that campaign to focus on our main one, the DM of our main campaign ended up inviting them to join. Since then it’s been awful and honestly everyone has been having issues with this player. It started out with small things but has escalated to where they definitely have a case of main character syndrome despite joining the finale of a 6 year long campaign. They often interrupt other players to focus on themselves and don’t work together with the group in general but especially during combat. They also mainly talk/interact with an NPC in the game instead of the other players.
It all came to a boiling point the other day when the DM was about to reveal a major plot point and, in the middle of the DM speaking, the problem player just shouts out what they think it is. They ended up guessing correctly and honestly it ruined the moment. They didn’t apologize for interrupting or anything, instead they got defensive and said there was no way they could have known for sure (despite many hints and clues but whatever). Regardless this is another habit they have of interrupting the DM.
I’m going to try to talk to them, since I’m the closest to them, but have no idea what to say. Any advice on how to deal with this would be greatly appreciated!