Common out of office messages

outside of these issues I’m about to discuss, I really felt I had found my person. He’s a decent father he works hard, he loves animals and kids, he’s generous when he can be, we have a lot in common, but he has a dark side and anger issues that can be scary. We have been married 2 years in October. So still supposed to be in what I thought was a honeymoon era. Don’t get me wrong, In the beginning it was literally a fairytale. I have two kids from a previous relationship (10&7) and one baby with my now husband. One and 1/2 years into our marriage husband starts staying out late, no calls, barely cognitive text messages, usually around payday. So after asking nicely a few times for him to just come clean and I would forgive him.( I suspected gambling) I was right & he finally admitted to it. I forgave him. Until it happened again, and again. As of last week it’s happened 12 times in a little over a year where I couldnt account for his whereabouts for 5+ hours. the last two times he called with a fake emergency (nobody has that many emergencies) he has got me a couple times but later would find out he was gambling via family or friend. Now he’s angry. I have asked him to get help, I have even offered to find and pay for treatment plus therapy for us. Because I really love him so much. He does NOT WANT IT. I will bring up my disappointment in the lies and the insults asking him to just be nicer to me (I have anxiety depression) in the moment even. but that makes him more angry and anger escalates to screaming insults in my face, so punching walls and now we are worse than where we started. The combination of these things plus I am and have been the sole provider for most of our marriage, shut out emotionally. I express wanting to work on it, and that I really need his help during my mental crisis moments. It’s like he doesn’t even hear me. I have asked numerous times what I could do to improve or just be better for him. I still don’t have an answer he will just laugh as if I’m missing the joke. I’m trying to hang on to my last bit of self esteem to figure out what to do next. none of this aligns with his great speech on Saturday night about hating himself for how much pain he has caused me and that he loves me so much & wants to do better. How 90% of his insults are him deflecting to me. Fast forward to Sunday night him telling me I’m delusional and I make it hard for any man to be nice to me. (Mother’s Day of all days). Mentioned also “this isn’t working” so today I did ask him for a trial separation and he responded 👍🏽 and said that “i was probably so excited because I love conflict” 🤦🏽‍♀️😪 “end of discussion” what am I supposed to do next? Idk how this works & I am so heartbroken 💔

Let me start by saying that my mum and I are not that close. We don't have anything in common, we are very different personalities but she would like people to think we are practically best friends. I am an only child.
Growing up, my mum always wanted me to be a ballerina, she put me in dancing 4 nights a week and 2 classes on weekends. I was good but as soon as I could quit I was out of there so fast. My real passion was horses, and I understood that mum was not ever interested in horses and we probably couldn't afford one on her single parent income (up until I was 11). That never bothered me, I just hung out on fences watching them or rode neighbors horses any chance I got.
Fast forward to now, I have my own horse that I am very proud of, and we were finally entered in our first competition. This was terrifying for me as I still get PTSD from stage fright from dancing. I asked if mum would come to watch.... know I'm a grown adult but the important thing here is that I found out I was pregnant right before it, and I was super excited to do my competition- the first, and last for a while- and then I would announce the pregnancy to her.
I had told her months prior that I would be doing the comp and she agreed to come. The week prior she told me that coming for both days wouldn't be possible due to the drive (that's fine, at least if she came for the second day she would see 2/3 events).
She arrived 5 mins before my showjumping, which was a HUGE accomplishment.. and as I got off my horse she said 'I'm leaving now.'
I was shocked. It meant so much that she would be there and my husband knew it meant alot to me too. I said "that's fine. See ya" and walked away as my husband grabbed my shoulders while I was crying.
I really thought it was going to be a 'healing my inner child's moment where she finally showed an interest in my passion, but she couldnt have stayed for the extra hour? She was only there for 30mins and it was an hour drive.
I messaged her to let her know I was hurt and she ignored me.
I wrote a lengthier message to detail why I felt hurt, how much it meant to me that she would be there and that I was honestly quite upset with her now giving me the silent treatment. I wrote that it is important that she acknowledged that I was hurt and that I won't be chasing her for contact.
She said 'I respect your choice'.
The last message I sent was "I need to clarify that you've heard I feel hurt, and you don't see any reason to apologise?" And she blocked me.
As a kid, when she'd give me a silent treatment I would apologies even if I thought I was in the right. I didn't like being ignored.
It has been 4 and a half weeks and I haven't heard a word from her.
I want to announce my pregnancy, and I also don't want her to think she can hurt me and get away with it.
Would I be the asshole for announcing it without her?
I know it will hurt her, and that's not my intention, but I don't like the way she digs her heels in to prove her point that she is never in the wrong. I want to prove my point- she hurt me.
MORE INFO; I just want to clarify that the reason she needed to leave after the first event was that the night prior she had driven 2 hours north of where she lives which is 3 hours north of where I live, to watch a dance show... So she was very tired.
I also want to clarify that I'm more upset that she was giving me the silent treatment and that how she is handled me being hurt has resulted in no communication. Not just because she left early.

I have never had this happen ever in my entire life. I'm very careful with what I use my phone for. I was in middle of posting on the Ulta sub and flipping through all my posts because I wanted to delete my comments. I think it is so bizarre that shoplifting and theft subs are allowed on reddit and ORC is even allowed to recruit accomplices off reddit.
I've been doing a ton of complaining on the Ulta sub about ORC, theft, and fraud. My complaining reached a crescendo today where I practically almost outright accused some individuals of lying about hacked accounts (can happen but I don't believe a lot of what gets posted on the Ulta sub).
I believe I was the victim of a cyberattack while logged into my account on reddit possibly from ORC. While on reddit, on the Ulta sub, my phone went beserk frozen on reddit (never in my entire life have I had a phone act like that) and I could not shut the phone down. It was insane and absolutely frightening like my phone was possessed. In trying to shut my phone down, I don't know if somehow it auto dialed 911 or the phone was taken over by cyber hackers but yeah, I had to talk to police and explain to them that I thought I was getting cyberattacked and couldn't control my phone acting crazy on its own calling 911 though I'm perfectly safe at home. Then while explaining to police by my hijacked phone that I was fine, the phone stopped allowing the call to function so the police couldn’t hear me talking anymore. Thus the police physically came to check up on me. I had a nice conversation with them and told them I was on Reddit when suddenly my phone got cyberattacked for the first time in my entire life. This is all on official police record and I’m sure the responding officer can vouch that I’m perfectly sane and he even believed my crazy scary story.
I'm a very smart accomplished highly credentialed, highly educated person. I believe it is quite possible that ORC cyberattacked my phone somehow, I don't know how, off reddit tonight. I'm not crazy. I suspect the message is I need to shut the F up on the Ulta sub about implying a % of the hacking reports are fake. I will no longer be participating on the Ulta sub anymore due to this possible unbelievably crazy threat out of an abundance of caution.
I've had a troll follow me incessantly on the Ulta sub for weeks now downvoting all my posts trying to scare me off the Ulta sub. Someone/ORC really wants me off the Ulta sub. Sadly my phone and internet security and wellbeing is not worth standing up for my principles and beliefs of right from wrong. Disappointed in reddit. Ulta has its work cut out for it considering even Amazon struggles mightily to deal with ORC attacking Amazon from inside and outside and ORC is strong in its ability to cyberattack.

[I wrote this article about Macbeth for my college's newspaper, and I thought this subreddit might enjoy reading it!]
I have joked before that Shakespeare’s two favorite subjects–surpassing love, murder, madness, and crossdressing–are botany and birds. If you’ve been to New York City you might be aware of the “Shakespeare Garden” in Central Park, whose theoretical aim (though it proves nigh-impossible in practice) is to house specimens of all the plants which Shakespeare mentions in his plays. As it turns out, Bard quotes make for quite a diverse garden: there are roses which assuredly would smell as sweet by any other name; there are daffodils, that come before the swallow dares, and take the winds of March with beauty; there’s holly, heigh-ho; there’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance, there’s pansies, that’s for thoughts, there’s fennel for you, and columbines–no word on whether or not they could find any violets, though. I suppose there’s no objection to be made against those who complain that Shakespeare’s language is “flowery”; even as vicious a villain as Iago deigns to express his philosophy on life by way of botanical metaphor: “Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners.” And, of course, the plot of A Midsummer Night’s Dream revolves around a magical flower which makes people fall in love.
I doubt anyone will object to my claiming of birds as Shakespeare’s other poetical fixation: I suspect that the majority of falconry knowledge which most non-falconers have today comes from reading footnotes in their copies of Shakespeare plays, explaining exactly what Richard II means by “How high a pitch his resolution soars,” or why Hamlet says “Hillo, ho, ho” to Marcellus. But while plants are so common in Shakespeare that I don’t know of one play which we might say is especially densely forested with references to them, there is one play that stands out as particularly full of birds in comparison with the rest of the Shakespearean canon. That play is Macbeth.
This is the sort of thing that one only notices after having read a play so many times that the actual events of the plot become akin to the meter of a poem–beats which must be hit, and which start to feel so natural that one hardly notices them–and one’s attention drifts away from the big, important speeches and toward the more utilitarian words and odd little moments that bridge them. I am not the first to point it out, but it is, all the same, a delightful quirk of the play, and could be a good way for Sophomores to throw their classmates for a loop in seminar [Note: Students at our college study Macbeth during their Sophomore year.]: why are there so many birds in Macbeth?
KING. Dismay’d not this/Our captains, Macbeth and Banquo? SERG. Yes,/As sparrows eagles… -Act I, Scene II
LADY. …The raven himself is hoarse/That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan… -Act I, Scene V
BAN. This guest of summer,/The temple-haunting martlet, does approve/By his loved mansionry, that the heaven’s breath/Smells wooingly here: no jutty, frieze/Buttress, nor coign of vantage, but this bird/Hath made his pendent bed and procreant cradle… -Act I, Scene VI
LADY. Hark! Peace! It was the owl that shriek’d, the fatal bellman… -Act II, Scene II
LADY. I heard the owl scream and the crickets cry. -Act II, Scene II
PORTER. …come in, tailor; here you may roast your goose… -Act II, Scene III
PORTER. ‘Faith, sir, we were carousing till the second cock… -Act II, Scene III
LENNOX. New hatch’d to the woeful time: the obscure bird/Clamour’d the livelong night… -Act II, Scene III
OLD MAN. …On Tuesday last,/A falcon, towering in her pride of place,/Was by a mousing owl hawk’d at and kill’d. -Act II, Scene IV
MACBETH. …Light thickens; and the crow/Makes wing to the rooky wood… -Act III, Scene II
MACBETH. If charnel-houses and our graves must send/Those that we bury back, our monuments/Shall be the maws of kites. -Act III, Scene IV
MACBETH. Augurs and understood relations have/By magot pies and choughs and rooks brought forth/The secret’st man of blood. -Act III, Scene IV
LADY MACDUFF. …the poor wren,/the most diminutive of birds, will fight,/Her young ones in her nest, against the owl. -Act IV, Scene II
LADY MACDUFF. How will you live? SON. As birds do, mother. LADY MACDUFF. What, with worms and flies? SON. With what I get, I mean; and so do they. LADY MACDUFF. Poor bird! Thou’ldst never fear the net nor lime,/The pitfall nor the gin? SON. Why should I, mother? Poor birds they are not set for. -Act IV, Scene II
FIRST MURDERER. What, you egg! -Act IV, Scene II
MACDUFF. …there cannot be/That vulture in you… -Act IV, Scene III
MACDUFF. …O hell-kite! All?/What, all my pretty chickens and their dam/At one fell swoop? -Act IV, Scene III
MACBETH. The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon!/Where got’st thou that goose look? SERVANT. There is ten thousand– MACBETH. Geese, villain? -Act V, Scene III
Above I have listed every ornithological reference that I’ve found in the Scottish Play; as we peruse them, we certainly cannot conclude that every individual reference is of the same kind, or carries the same import. I will not pretend, for example, that, just because geese and ravens are both birds, the Porter’s invitation for the imagined English tailor to cook his goose in Hell merits as much attention as Lady Macbeth’s ominous declaration that “the raven himself is hoarse”. Nor do I think that any individual reference particularly demands explication; by itself, any one of these bird-invocations seems perfectly natural. Shakespeare’s talent is such that he can repeat a motif in such a way that on the macro level it is obvious yet on the micro level it hardly feels present. But that macro level is what interests me here: what impression is created, on the whole, by the presence of so many birds in this play? I have a theory, which, though it may seem far-fetched, I think merits at least some consideration, and which, at the very least, I have not seen stated elsewhere, and so may make a novel contribution to the conversation.
Macbeth is both Shakespeare’s most supernatural tragedy and his most Sophoclean; these two superlatives are inextricably related. The appellative Weird given to the opening scene’s three Sisters–derived from the Old English wyrd, meaning destiny, and famously given its more familiar connotation by Shakespeare himself in this very play–is, among the Bard’s works, unique to Macbeth; and just as that word appears nowhere else in Shakespeare, so is the concept it represents absent in all tragedies but this one. Though Hamlet may cry out against outrageous fortune, and though Othello may rhetoricize about how no man can control his fate, it is only in Macbeth that we truly feel that the events we see play out before us are fated, predestined, inevitable. [See Note 1.] The ghost in Hamlet commands his son to revenge his foul and most unnatural murder, but does not tell him it is certain that he will succeed; indeed, would not the drama be sapped of its intrigue if that level of certainty were present? Meanwhile, the supernatural interlopers in Macbeth offer the Scottish thane not a mission, but a prophecy: All hail, Macbeth! that shalt be king hereafter! From its mystical opening word–When, not If–the Scottish play makes us aware of the certainty of all that is to befall our tragic antihero. Macbeth is thus a different sort of tragedy than Shakespeare’s others, and it works by an inverted mechanism. While the tragedy of, for example, Desdemona’s death is that it may have been prevented, the tragedy of Macbeth’s destruction is that it represents the fulfilment of fate; and this is the very same mechanism by which Oedipus Rex operates, complete with its own “Weird” character in the form of the seer Tiresias. Though Calvin managed to accept that some men are destined for greatness and others for ruin, this idea is, to Shakespeare and Sophocles, nothing short of agonizing–the stuff of tragedy.
Now: what does all of this have to do with birds? Consider these words from Antigone, spoken by Tiresias to Creon:
You shall learn, when you hear the indications of my art! As I took my place on my ancient seat for observing birds, where I can mark every bird of omen I heard a strange sound among them, since they were screeching with dire, incoherent frenzy and I knew that they were tearing each other with bloody claws, for there was a whirring of wings that made it clear… (Lloyd-Jones translation)
Consider next these words from Oedipus Tyrannus, spoken defensively by Oedipus to Tiresias:
Why, come, tell me, how can you be a true prophet? Why when the versifying hound was here did not you speak some word that could release the citizens? Indeed, her riddle was not one for the first comer to explain! It required prophetic skill, and you were exposed as having no knowledge from the birds or from the gods. No, it was I that came, Oedipus who knew nothing, and put a stop to her; I hit the mark by native wit, not by what I learned from birds. (Lloyd-Jones translation)
The practice of divining the future from birds–be it from their behaviors, their cries, or their innards–was, to Sophocles and his contemporaries, not superstitious hokum, but a practical science at which one could be skilled or unskilled, and it bodes ill for Oedipus that he is so quick to disregard it in favor of his own native wit. [See Note 2] By Shakespeare’s day, the practice had long been relegated to the realm of outdated hocus-pocus, but the Bard still saw some truth in it; in Macbeth, there is a recurring sense that, when the world is sick with some great wrong, its first symptoms manifest in the behavior of birds. When the “fatal bellman” the owl shrieks in the night, Lady Macbeth takes it as a sign that her husband is about his bloody business. The day after the murder of Duncan, as Ross converses with an Old Man about the strange things they’ve seen the previous night, “unnatural/Even as the deed that’s done”, the killing of a falcon by a mousing-owl–an omen straight out of Sophocles–is mentioned before the madness and cannibalism of Duncan’s horses, even though the latter would surely be more immediately noticeable and ghastly than the former.
These are the most obvious examples of birds as ill omens in Macbeth; yet even the more innocuous invocations of birds throughout the rest of the play continually turn our thoughts back to the ancient Greek understanding of fate and prophecy, and thereby remind us that, however savagely he may fight at Dunsinane, Macbeth’s fate is as fixed as that of Oedipus. The birds have already foretold all.
Note 1: The closest thing there is to this kind of fatalness in another Shakespearean tragedy is the several superstitious occurrences in Julius Caesar–both the soothsayer’s message of “Beware the ides of March” and the bestial portents such as the lack of a heart in an offering and the whelping of a lioness in the streets. Still, I will insist that these omens do not convey a sense of fatedness to the audience as strongly as the Weird Sisters in Macbeth by virtue of their being told to Caesar himself, not to Brutus, the play’s true protagonist, and by the fact that Shakespeare elsewhere uses dialogue to throw some doubt upon the idea of predestination: "Men at some times are masters of their fates:/The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,/But in ourselves, that we are underlings." -I.ii
Note 2: The Liddell-Scott Greek Lexicon identifies at least two separate verbs referring to bird-based divination, both of which are present in the quoted passages: Tiresias uses ορνϊθοσκοπέομαι, observe birds, interpret their flight and cries, while Oedipus uses οιωνίζομαι, take omens from the flight and cries of birds. The latter term comes from οιωνος, a large bird, bird of prey, such as a vulture or eagle, and so distinguished from a common bird, while the former comes from ορνις, which more generally refers to a bird, including birds of prey and domestic fowls. Birds of both kinds are present in Macbeth; there are οιωναι, such as the “falcon, towering in her pride of place”, as well as ορνες, like the Porter’s goose and cock. I therefore see little value in interrogating the kinds of birds invoked by Shakespeare, the specific cultural associations and significance of the owl, the raven, or the wren; rather, if we reduce them down to their barest existence as birds, animals of the class Aves, and consider them in an ancient Greek light, then things become a bit clearer.

Hello, everyone.
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So, I (39f) get a text from my husband (38m) at 12:47 pm asking me if I'm alright because I was cleaning more aggressively than he was comfortable with and he doesn't know how requests of me will be taken...okay, so I had a lot of coffee and I was moving fast so I could finish what I started and get to some schoolwork done online. I got how he could think I was upset somehow, I guess. I replied that I had stuff to do and I was fine. He sends me another text saying he's in a lot of pain (he had surgery last week) and he wanted to know if I'd ask the doctor for a refill of his pain meds.
(He has had issues with alcohol, drugs, and narcotics in the past. He was trying to be sensitive because when he was getting prepared for surgery, he let me know they were going to give him narcotics and the reason I left him before a couple times was when he was on something and treating me like crap. We spoke about it and I thought we'd be okay after.)
I replied asking him if he called his doctor already to see if something could be going on. A couple hours later I'm taking a bath and ask if he spoke to the office. I getting ready to pick my kid up and I was heading toward the pharmacy. It's a 45 minute drive, ordinarily. I send him another text after I get the kid to see if maybe he had a script filled and I could pick it up. I didn't get any replies. I ask if he's feeling some kind of way and ignoring me, or if I'm imagining it. Nothing. So I call him. He says he didn't reply because he didn't like that I replied to his question with a question. I told him we were on our way home and drove home.
So I have another unrelated issue to talk to him about and I send him a text letting him know that I'm having an issue, but I can't talk to him about it because I don't feel like he's a safe place for me to talk. We've had issues when we argued in the past and I've started trying to express myself in this way to let him know I'm struggling without picking a fight. So he knows that something is going on and I'm trying to work through it on my own, especially in the face of my not feeling like I will be heard if I speak to him about it.
We go back and forth for a while and eventually, I retired to the bathroom to decompress, brush my teeth, wash my face, do some stretches and zone out listening to a podcast. He comes in the bathroom without warning, I assumed cuz he was flushing his stuff from surgery, so I left. Folded a load of laundry and fixed up a new load. Came back to my computer to get started on schoolwork again, and get a text from him. I'm in the middle of responding and he closes the door and starts coming toward me like he was gonna talk. I got up and left the house. We went back and forth a little more in text messages.
He's trying to blame this whole ordeal on me like I got myself worked up over nothing and I'm telling him I was fine until he said he'd been ignoring me for hours. Then I had an unrelated issue that I was gonna work through myself and I didn't want to talk. Then he tried to force the issue to talk. I tell him I've repeatedly told him to back off and let him know what was going on with me once there really was an issue.
He sends me another text saying it's funny and cute when I storm off angry. I replied letting him know that I wasn't leaving out of anger, it was fear. (And perhaps, I realized after the fact, I should have elaborated on that a bit to explain that I was afraid of my own reaction not being appropriate for the environment with the kids home and me being upset that he was trying to force a conversation that I told him I wasn't up for). He gives some sarcastic replies to that and I stopped texting back. I left the house to grab some beers and I'm sitting in my car listening to a podcast, drinking my damned beers in peace.
So, my question is this...am I the asshole here? I feel like I responded to his initial messages well and tried to keep judgement about the pills out of it. Being concerned that he's in pain. Wondering if this should be expected days after surgery. Still don't know, because he thought I was salty about the whole thing before he even sent his first text and treated me just like I was. Then picked a fight with me and tried to blame me for it. And then...tells me I'm funny when I'm mad. Which would be fine, except this was not the time or place to say that and it felt like he was laughing at me and not taking me seriously.
Before I get the responses saying this is a bad relationship or indicates some fundamental failure of my marriage and I should just leave him...please take a step back and imagine for a moment that this is "get-over-able"...and then let me know how you think either of us could have handled it better. I know my relationship is silly sometimes, but it's my mess and I'm working on cleaning it up. It takes time. How can I improve things in the future?
TL;DR my husband thought I was gonna be upset that he wanted pain meds even though he has had issues with them in the past and left me hanging for hours playing video games. Then picked a fight with me and when I told him I was done talking, he kept it going until he disrespected me by saying I was cute when I was mad.

Context: I’m 22 he’s 23. We’ve been together for almost 10 months. His family invited me along on their trip to Greece (we live in US) for two weeks and we’ve been so excited about it. Last night he was showing me something on his phone and while switching apps I see tinder open with a message to a girl. He had asked her out to drinks while I was talking a nap. I almost thought I was seeing things at first bc the man I knew would never do this and he tried to lie to my face about it at first but eventually pulled up the message. We had literally been having a serious conversation about marriage about 10 minutes prior to this. Up until about two months ago he was the sweetest man in the world, cooked me dinner all the time, always kept flowers in my apartment, was just so kind. He’s always struggled with alcohol abuse but I think the excitement of our relationship being so good just made it better for a while. Anyways he started drinking more heavily and he wouldn’t get mean or anything he’d just turn into a completely different person and lie to me about whether or not he was drinking, whether or not he was driving stuff like that. He kept making all the empty promises about stopping and I was being pretty patient with him but he went on a few benders leading up to the trip where he would go “fishing” and end up turning his location off for a while and come back drunk or high and lying about it. I wasn’t going to put up with the lying for long but the one thing I never thought he would do was cheat on me. Looking back on it this definitely wasn’t the first time. I cried about it to his mom and sister last night because they’re the only people I have in this country. They said they wanted me to stay with them but wouldn’t blame me if I left. My question now though is what would you do in this situation? I’m at the start of this trip with a very detailed itinerary for the next two weeks. We were supposed to be island hopping for a few days at a time.
Forgiving him isn’t an option and I can’t just go along with the trip acting like nothing happened. We also work together in a very small office which makes things extra complicated. I live out of state from my parents so besides a few friends he’s pretty much all I have back home. Were supposed to get on a 4 hour boat ride from Athens to Naxos tomorrow and I think I’m going to at least go along from there and either get my own hotel for a few days or fly home early. I have enough money of my own to stay here for maybe a week but I’m scared that it’s just going to be more lonely than ever in a country where I know nobody and have just had my heart broken. I’d appreciate any advice, I feel so lost.

So context - I am talking with a co-worker who we have been friends for nearly 2 years and we just click, we share almost everything and common and we always get on well and even other ppl at work said they seen it coming.. another back note is that they have just left a 3 year long distance relationship in which their partner was not a good person to them at all, it has been roughly a month since they broke up..
So it all started with us going together to one of their friends 21st bday party and this was my first time drinking alcohol so i kept it easy and had enough to enjoy the night but not enough to where i couldn't function etc however my co-worker had one too many and some of the stuff they did triggered my feelings.. as they were holding my hand, stroking it, begging me not to go home when they got in taxi (i just walked home as i felt like that was just the alcohol speaking) so i got home and just sat in my chair and just thought about it all and how WHAT IF you know so over the next few days i try and get some clarity to my thoughts and get some advice from other work staff and just under a week later when me and said co-worker finished our shift together (i walk them home) i told them how i felt and that i liked them etc to which i got told they would message me once they got home and showered.. so about half an hour or so passes and i receive the message, they said the feeling was mutual and that they even had a crush on me and this was even whilst they were with their ex which i was abit baffled on anyways we both talk more into the night happy days and then days pass of endless talking etc and about a week later i crashed at their place which was agreed too as we were gonna spend the day together, we chilled and watched stuff, played some games and went out into town and then on the night we just cuddled and nothing more as i wasn't sure what they were comfortable with yet.. i ended up going home later that day as they had said their social battery had died which i understood and told them it was ok and i went home (ofc i was sad there was little i could do).. again days pass and we are both ok talking away and then one day we were talking well and later on in the evening they went out with their friend to which it went abit downhill as that is when i got this
(my name) would you be mad if I said I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet cause honestly im really struggling with things like I know im not ready and I won’t be able to give you what you deserve in a relationship because I know im just not ready to jump into another one yet but I don’t wanna lose you I really love hanging out with you and sharing our interests together it’s been so fun 🙁 but at this point im just not ready cause even things like physical affection is freaking me out i can’t handle being this close to another person right now and I don’t wanna be leading you on further only to randomly back away out of fear im just really not ready for this right now
And pls don’t worry you did nothing at all to make me uncomfortable the other day but I know I need more time before im ready for something like this cause im still kind of a mess and not mentally ready yet
​
"i need space" message to which again i was accepting and understood as alot has happened in such short time, i sent words of encouragement etc and they followed up with this which is the message that makes me feel like i'm not going to make it
​
Thank you for all of that I promise you didn’t step over the line with anything at all i just realised that i really do need space right now and I know I can’t handle a relationship I can’t promise if or when I’ll be ready for a relationship anytime soon either, thank you for understanding !!
​
so right now i only share my shift today with them for 30 minutes other than that all of our shifts are different to each other that i won't see them for the rest of this week and i am on holiday next as it is my bday week so i have sent my last message and i said i won't message them anymore as it will clog their thoughts but i am always there if needed as i really don't want to lose them and they have said the same thing to me in that they don't want to lose me and that i make them so happy yada yada.. was this the right thing to do or not? so i'm essentially giving them 2 whole weeks to think about it all and if they don't come back to me by the end of that time even if it's just confirming we'd be no more than friends i will move on with life but i really have that feeling it will all work out over time, they are me as the opposite sex and i just love having someone i can share everything i love with someone.
Another note is that i have always played off of them in this and never forced them to do anything at all.. and one of the things that is confusing me about it all is that they have booked my bday off work as they wanted to spend time with me and they have also bought me gifts for my bday which i did tell them not too and that they alone were the best gift so i'm hoping after some time they figure out their needs?
my question is do you think i am never gonna have a chance or is there hope in all of this?

This series, Murder in Mahim, is based on and adapted from a book by Jerry Pinto with the same name. It was shortlisted for the Crossword Book Award for fiction in 2017. This series follows journalist Peter's investigation of a murder in the bustling city of Mumbai and the subsequent unraveling of dark secrets hidden within its crowded streets. When Sunil, his own son, is named as a suspect in the case, things get more serious. As he digs deeper into the case, he discovers that the city he thought he knew so well is full of surprises and dangers hidden in every corner.
The strongest point of the series would be its leading cast and its varied characters. Be it the highly regarded Vijay Raaz, Ashustoh Rana, and especially Ashitosh Gaikwad as his character Name UNIT, what a fantastic performance he has given. His voice modulation and facial expressions reminded me of Nawazuddin Siddiqui. When he came on the screen, I was extra attentive; he is my favorite character, and on the other hand, the story and the subplots between Firduas Rabbani and her partner were cliched but somewhat interesting too; the dialogues between Ashutosh Rana and his son Sunil Ferenandez regarding the topic of LGBTQ were very nicely written. I wish those scenes had been explored more deeply to add more depth to other characters as well.
What could've been better? Definitely, the story development and its writing. I think they wanted to create some deep emotional drama, but sadly, instead, it turned out to be a slow and sometimes uninteresting drama with unnecessary distractions and low effort cliffhangers. For example, pranks are used as cliffhangers and unnecessary distractions just to confuse and drag the story further, and on the other side, the supporting cast's characterization was not the problem, but their performance was a big letdown, which in turn kept me disconnected from multiple key scenes. As far as the background music is concerned, even that did not have much of an impact. I understand that the main aspect of this series is mostly to focus on crime drama with a message to convey, and I think that's the reason why the cinematography was just so bland. If you look at Kohrra, a similar style and genre series, it had some exceptionally well-done cinematography, which sometimes took the mood of the scenes to the next level.
Can you binge-watch this series?
There is a long wait before things start to get interesting. For instance, I thought things were finally getting serious in the fourth episode, but the next episode itself falls flat again. It's not until the last few episodes that things start to get interesting, but as it is a slow burner, even if you skip a few of the scenes, watch it for the quality performances by Vijay Raaz, Ashustoh Rana, Shivani Raghuvamshi, and especially the phenomenally talented Ashitosh Gaikwad. I really wish him good luck and look forward to seeing him in more movies and series very soon.
For a better understanding of how each episode turned out, I have made a line chart and rated the series episode-wise. Here it is.
This week's recommendation is Kohrra. This Indian TV series, which is set in Punjab, follows the story of two police officers, Balbir Singh and Amarpal Garundi, who are tasked with investigating the murder of an NRI bridegroom, Paul Dhillon. The investigation quickly uncovers a web of deceit, secrets, and family drama. Paul's family and friends all have their own motives for wanting him dead, and the officers must sift through the lies and half-truths to get to the truth. This is one of those slow-burners, along with the thrilling story where the characters grow on you and morally make you think about and analyze the society we live in, which makes this thriller series a must watch.
For now, have a great weekend and keep bingeing. I'll see you in the next video with another review. Ah peace.

Hello, I'm new to reddit, but decided to post this on a throwaway anyway just in case my boyfriend finds this post. I am neuro-divergent(diagnosed ADHD and I might have autism. I am seeing a doctor for that for a diagnosis) I feel like it has an effect on how I process this so I felt like I should mention it. I'm not really sure how to put this so I'm going to try and be as clear as I can, please excuse my grammar. English is my second language.
I(Female, almost 30) and my boyfriend(Male, a bit over 30) have been together for 2 years. He is the best, most understanding and most loving person I've ever met. He has shown me support in so many different ways and has helped accept myself as who I am.
The thing I have a problem with, is his ex. They broke up almost a year before he and I even me. She tried to remain in contact and he did his best to not have anything to do with her. It wasn't always possible, because they shared a friend group. I am now friends with his friends as well and I have met her, but I don't really know her. I do know that some people in the friend group don't really like her, because she seems very shallow and self-absorbed. Their relationship was long distance and they broke up because she cheated on him twice. The first time she cheated was with her "ex". She apparently never broke up with him after all and she was was just two timing them and lied to everyone in the friend group. The second time she found someone new closer to where she lives and after ignoring my boyfriend for a while she told him that she has someone else. The only reason he even took her back was because someone close to her had died and he felt obligated to help her. He doesn't have any feelings towards her anymore and I can see that. I am not jealous of them at all and even when she was still part of the friend group, I didn't feel threatened because of her. She did contact him this year apologizing for everything(before she was just denying that she ever cheated on him), saying that she never meant for any of it to happen and blahblahblah. He told her that he does not want anything to do with her. She tried to play the victim but no one really went along with it and she disappeared from the friend group.
My issue is the extremely strong anger I feel towards her. When I heard about it for the first time, I felt this massive ball of strong emotions and I wanted to call her every name in the book. I didn't contact her as I felt it wasn't my place to say anything and it was some time ago. I did draft a message that was never meant to be sent and I showed it to him. I did tell him about my feelings towards her and he did understand, though he said he doesn't really care about her or the situation anymore. I just sometimes feel like I can't let go of the anger and pain I feel. I know he was hurting back then and he had to go through it all alone, since he didn't feel like he could tell our friend group. It just hurts me and makes me want to cry sometimes if I happen to remember it. It even keeps me up at night sometimes(this isn't common though). I just hate her so much for what she did. Like, HOW could she do that to him???? How can I process these emotions?
I've always had a strong reaction to cheating in a relationship. It's a hard thing for me to handle even when it's in a movie or something. I feel like the feeling is even stronger now because of the fact that I care so much about him and I don't even want to think about him hurting. I don't even know how to bring this up with him even though I know I probably should. It just feels like it's too late to say anything about this. He told me about her over a year ago and I feel awkward bringing it up now.
Thank you for reading... Any help/support/anything is welcome. I just felt like I wanted to get this out and not hold it inside me anymore.

YOU THERE! Are you tired of the monotony of your common social circle?
Have you exhausted your mental capacity for conversation with the regs?
Are you in need of a conversation with someone unlike any other?
Look no further! Just post a comment or send a DM!
Will you receive a joke? A GIF even?! FIND OUT NOW, PLEASE MESSAGE ME TODAY!!!!!!

Thank you for the support last time I posted. I am pleased to announce that I have a job now, first day was today! The downside though is that I won't get paid until after rent is due and I need help.
So I'm trying to sell what I have left, in the hopes I can scrounge up enough to make it easier. I need about $360 but honestly, I don't have that much worth of minis left. Everything is sealed and unused except for Triumvirate which doesn't have Celestine.
Picture of the models here
Items are as follows

1. Old Necron Battleforce (20 Warriors, 5 Immortals/Deathmarks, 5 Canoptek Scarabs, 1 Doomsday/Ghost Ark) - $200. seeing it going on ebay for more, but I'm not really sure where to price this.
   
2. Necron Overlord - $25
   
3. 2 1 Fenrisian Wolf Pack - $20 each, $35 for both
   
4. Triumvirate of the Imperium (OPENED, Celestine is the only one built out of this. This one only has Cawl and Greyfax sprues) - $40
   

If you want to buy the rest all together, I'll give it to you for $220.
Shipping is included in price, but if you'd like to pay extra for shipping, it would be a big help for me.
Thank you so much for looking. I'll do my best to get to messages as fast as I can, but it is late so I may be delayed. I will also have to get packages to the post office on the weekend as my schedule makes it impossible to get to one before they close

I’m a 120 hour pilot. Just after take off in a Cirrus SR-20, I heard a loud siren sound in my headset. I was unfamiliar the sound. It cut in and out about every 15 seconds. At first I thought something was wrong in the plane, but there were no CAS messages, engine instruments all showed green, and the plane was climbing well. After a couple of minutes, another pilot told ATC they were picking up an ELT - and that brought me great relief.
How common is it to hear an ELT? What are the procedures when you hear one that’s not yours?

currently questioning whether or not i have it, but considering i’m constantly morally questioning myself and dismissing my opinions because i know i’m a hypocrite it feels too close to home. this is a vent post describing my current findings and realisations and id love some confirmation that it actually sounds legitimate and some reassurance.
ive also read up on real event OCD and because i was a stupid teenager i have posts i regret, and i commonly get into problematic media and mull it over in my head (rumination) before justifying it or ripping it apart (reassurance) to others i trust. i don’t have physical compulsions, aside from checking accounts, but i constantly list the things i’ve done in my head and debate to myself about it and how i’d apologise. i watch drama videos constantly and compare myself thinking i’m worse. i have to pull away when i get too into something and get too productive because i convince myself people will turn on me and dig up all my worst fears.
i check my old accounts semi often and refuse to delete them because i did so once and found it all archived. it made me so paranoid that i refused to delete accounts again going into a three day long breakdown and i instead keep tabs as well as looking at ex friends accounts to make sure they aren’t somehow slandering me or spreading anything. it makes me very clingy to people i know but also incredibly hard to trust new people. also i don’t delete accs because it makes me feel guilty and like i’m hiding something.
i am forever debating in my head about my moral standing and just see myself as somebody with no backbone. i’m so scared of being ostracised and left alone with no support system. i can’t get too popular on social media otherwise i’ll just leave out of fear and can’t get myself to talk to other people in my field, i second guess posting myself and looking at old messages to pick at what i did wrong and how i would defend myself. i have mental flashes of cancellation threads and mocking posts of my face and life. it feels like a loop of stupid interests and constant moral disagreement. it’s hell. if it helps i’m also looking into autism/adhd and have always been interested in taboo things since i was a child (extreme horror, lost media, dark/offensive comedies) and i feel that almost set me up for constant unending guilt.
i would like possibly some advice and if you want to hone in on questioning this, because i’m not currently diagnosed but am going to bring it up to my therapist, you’re welcome to. i want to talk about it because i’m only realising how intrinsic this is to my life now.

Two years ago my rapist was found guilty of second degree rape in St. Mary's County, MD. Little did I know, that the neat end to my tragedy would hardly be over.
Sentencing, is the act in which the judge determines the punishment of the convicted felon. Usually felons are taken into custody and the time they spend in jail will later be considered part of whatever jail time they are issued. For me? The Judge allowed the man to have a ankle monitor until sentencing and rest at home. How did he spend his time? Well, he showed up to the soccer games I would've been at (luckily abroad at the time) and he got picked up at a party he lied about attending and was then held in jail until sentencing.
The sentencing happened nearly two months after the trial--but no one told me. The State's Attorney contacted me and informed me I had to drop everything to rush to the court to give my statement. I went first and because I was not prepared--didn't say half of what I wanted and wasn't nearly as eloquent as I wanted to be.
Afterwards, the judge allowed the Defense attorney to comment on my mental health because I had a therapist and then asked if I had ever been sexually assaulted before. Yes, this is not trial--he was already guilty--but the judge allowed me to be crossed anyway at the sentencing. Thankfully the States Attorney objected to that line of questioning and I got to listen to all his supporters sum my rapist up: He's good at soccer, he translates for the community, and he never raped them--so how bad was he really? And my rapist? Well, since he was found guilty he found god, saw he had an alcohol problem, and realized he would never get the life he wanted. Apologized to the judge, his parents, and supporters. Oh yea, and me!
The Judge deliberated and despite the Maryland minimum guidelines being 5 to 10 years--she gave him 18 months and included whatever time he already spent in jail. 10 months later, he was out reoffending against young girls. By the time the warrant went out, he knew he was done for and took his life in the parking lot by my apartment complex--did I mention he only spent three months out of jail and most of it was spent in my apartment complex with his significant other?
Thankfully, a corner apartment, locked doors, and a big, big dog made me feel a lot safer. Remember to get therapy! My therapist was crucial in my mental recovery. But to be honest, his death was the most freeing aspect of it all.
I'll never see him at the soccer field. Never see him turning the corner of a store. Never see his distinctive car flying across an intersection.
But it's never over. The uninformed from soccer mourned his suicide; I didn't have the heart to say he was a convicted rapist who raped me. His obituary was glowing--a loving, helpful, generous community man taken too young.
Then the judicial election. 1.5 years later I am still being dragged into this. When there was a question of the judge's competency in going so far below minimum guidelines for someone who immediately reoffended potentially multiple people/times--the judge's response was a mass text saying I was older than the victim, I had previously been consensual, and I was hiding it from my boyfriend.
??? I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative. After all, my boyfriend was my biggest support in all of it--I just didn't want him listening to me describe my rape? Also, last I checked a large portion of rapes are from former consensual relationships that don't take closed doors as an option.
Regardless, I wrote an Op-ed, connected with the Maryland Crime Victim's Resource Center to coordinate a release...and...nothing. No one wants to post it. I got one response that they claimed they researched for 7 hours but took only a quote on how disappointed I was about the outcome.
Why? Because politics are running behind the scenes. This judge was appointed by former governor Hogan who is running for Maryland senator and his daughter recently took post in the State Attorney's office.
Is my outcome common or to be expected? I guess not. But the next time you tell a rape victim go ahead and report your crime--this is what they get. Silenced.
That being said? Even with tape over my mouth and my hands tied behind my back, I don't regret a goddamn thing--except that I wasn't more vocal sooner.
Nevertheless, persist my friends.

I just got fired from a major corporation. I’ve been a pharmacy technician since October 2021. I’m near Charlotte, NC. USA
I can fill in more details as needed. I feel like so much has happened during my time with this company, I’m not even really sure which parts of the story are relevant.
But to start, I was at a store that didn’t have a store manager for 6 months and I was having issues getting hours, support, literally any paperwork being done because my pharmacy manager (pharmacist in charge, RXM) did not like me. We were understaffed, there was a ton of drama. I had spoken to the district manager (DM) about my issues several times and finally after a technician lashed out and threw some filling totes and some bagged prescriptions at me and another technician, I called him after work and told him I no longer felt safe and wouldn’t be returning to work until he handled the situation.
I help out at other stores all the time and one of the stores I help out offered me to transfer. Additionally, right after I left pretty much everyone quit, I was not the only person with issues at that store. After that situation, since I was already starting the process of transferring, instead of waiting two more weeks I immediately went to the new store. During this time I had started the process for ADA accommodations through HR and with my doctor.
The week I started at the new store, I sat down with the pharmacy tech manager (RXOM) and the store manager (SM). This probably should have been my first red flag, but the SM basically asked something along the lines of why he should let me transfer because it sounds like I had a lot of problems at the old store. So upon starting at this specific store, I disclosed issues I have socially due to my disability and stated that I needed clear communication because I do not pick up on hints or subtleties and that I needed clear feedback when I have made a mistake or in a situation where I upset someone. I also disclosed that I would need additional assistance in tense situations with customers and coworkers. I explained there was a lot of drama and pettiness at my old pharmacy and that I inadvertently caused a lot of issues because I was oblivious to it. The SM basically decided that it didn’t sound like an issue to be clear and concise and kind of guide me through situations that come up. He assured me I could talk to him anytime. I was repeatedly ignored when I requested aid in those situations. And then if the outcome was less than satisfactory, I was punished. The tech manager became my support needs liaison, but the store and assistant manager refused to accommodate me. The tech manager actually got a lot of crap for trying to help me. I have a disability that can affect the way I am perceived by other people and speaking to people about it usually helps clear up any problems. I was not given an opportunity to do this. I thought I was protecting myself my disclosing my needs and weaknesses.
So at this store a few things happened with different people all at once and the store became short staffed. I started helping out a lot, staying late when I could, picking up shifts even though I had to find extra childcare. The pharmacy manager quit a few weeks after I got there, a few technicians quit or drastically reduced their hours, a couple people went on leave. So the ESM (assistant store manager) started helping out in the pharmacy more, mostly with filling prescriptions. I was warned before she started helping out that she was really prickly and if I had any issues that I could talk to the RXOM. There were a few things that came up and he told me that I wasn’t misconstruing things, to just ignore her.
And then came a day where we had a ton of call outs, my RXOM wasn’t in that day and the SM had left. It was Christmas eve weekend. So the pharmacy was gonna be closed the next day. So we were extremely short staffed, extremely busy and the phones were insane. The ESM started out the day basically complaining to us about how nothing was done, it was a mess, etc etc. I wouldn’t even call it passive aggressive. She was outright threatening and saying she would definitely be telling the RXM and SM about how incompetent we were, how out of hand everything was.
There was an incident with a customer, he was yelling at me because I went to lunch before helping him and instead of letting me handle it, the ESM jumped in without really even getting a handle on what was happening. I got written up for the way I spoke to the patient and how I handled the situation with the ESM because I had stepped over to the floater pharmacist and when asked I explained the situation. She told the story as me mumbling under my breath and complaining and carrying on. The rest of the day was pretty much the same, her carrying on about how useless we were and at one point she said it was a mess and that we (the techs) would be staying after to clean it up. I was slightly irritated that she told me I had to rather than asking, especially because the mess was from the days previous, from other techs, etc. It just had been a hectic few days, with short staff. I knew how she was though so I just decided I would stay. Right before we closed, she told me she wanted to speak to me. I had assumed she was going to give us a game plan for how to clean up quickly so we could go. I went over to her after we closed and she started to tear into me for disrespecting her and then noticed I wasn’t making eye contact. It had been a long day and I was feeling really overwhelmed. She made a big deal about it and I told her I couldn’t make eye contact with her because I have a disability but assured her I was listening to her. She went back and forth with me a few times basically trying to force me to look her in the eyes or I was disrespecting her. She ended up saying that she couldn’t speak to me if I wasn’t going to look her in the eyes when she spoke to me. I took this as a dismissal, so part of my write up was for insubordination because I left and refused to have a conversation with her. I reported the incident to HR, briefly spoke with them and thought that was the end of it.
Well shortly after, she started being extremely short with me, very dramatically avoidant like when I walked in the pharmacy would say things like “that’s my cue to leave”. If she asked for help out loud, if I tried to help her she would tell me she didn’t want my help and she would get someone else. I tried not to let it bother me but it definitely stressed me out over time. The few times I did help her, she would throw whatever she was working on down and storm from the pharmacy muttering that she would tell SM about whatever, usually swearing. I asked the other managers what I was doing wrong and was never given any answers. Or guidance. I brought it up a few times and was always brushed off. That never really ended.
An important detail is that the schedule was consistently put out on Wednesdays, usually evenings and our week started on Thursdays. Our weeks run Thursdays-Wednesdays.
There were a few other small issues, I had talked to the managers about issues with scheduling and basically just got constantly brushed off. I had agreed to a general schedule of opens and mids and every other Sunday when I transferred and they weren’t able to accommodate it anymore, they started scheduling me all over the place, closes, several weekends in a row. This made childcare difficult especially with short notice because daycare has set hours. When I got my first warning about tardiness, I brought this up and was accused of blaming everyone else for my tardiness and told to have some accountability.
By this point, I dreaded going to work when the SM or ESM was there. I would get so anxious, I would be physically sick, throwing up, gastro issues, migraines. I was constantly in a state of overstimulation. Again, I asked for help and got blown off.
So in February there was an incident that led up to me requesting short term leave. My son had a minor medical issue that I took him to the doctor for, she made an appointment for the following Thursday at an eye doctor at 8:15am. I told my RXOM I couldn’t work Thursday, he ended up scheduling me to close. 12-9. I called out around 9am after getting to my son’s appointment and learning he had to do some tests for underlying issues including being dilated. He’s 3 so I needed to be with him because he was really disoriented. We finished around 4pm and my RXOM had texted me several times for updates telling me other people called out and they really needed me. I told him that my son needed me and he basically begged me to come in for a few hours to close. I finally relented and got there around 5-6 and stayed until close. No one said anything to me, so I didn’t think anything of it. A few weeks go by and on February 19, I was called into the office for a meeting with the SM and RXOM and received a write up for being 5 hours late that day. If I would have just left it as a call out, there would be no disciplinary action because I had not used any yet for the year. This was incredibly frustrating and the way it was presented was really overwhelming. I told them I was getting overwhelmed and would like to step out, the SM continued to talk down to me. I was getting increasingly agitated, my stims were getting faster and I started to rock back and forth, beginning to have an autistic meltdown. The SM told me I needed to calm down, tried to get me to speak to him while I was shutting down and just kept scolding me, I honestly don’t even know what he was saying by this point. I told the RXOM I needed to step out and I walked out of the office next door to the break room to turn on the sink and I just completely shut down, I crawled under the counter in the break room and had a complete shutdown/meltdown. My muscles locked up, I was crying and rocking back and forth and covering my ears and had my arms over my eyes, all stimulation was bothering me. The RXOM came to check on me and saw me having a meltdown and that I was unable to communicate so he pulled my file and called my emergency contact and basically just told him I was melting down and I was under the sink and needed to be picked up.
My partner came to get me, we left my car, I went home and calmed down and then called my company’s HR and put a request in for short term medical leave. My doctor had been urging me to do this for over 6 months. I texted my RXOM and SM asking what I should do next and heard nothing so I reported to work on 2/20. Upon arriving, the guest pharmacist notified me we had a call out. After everyone arrived, I asked who the call out was and the ESM, pharmacist and other techs didn’t know. The SM was not there. The RXOM wasn’t answering my texts. An hour into my shift, the RXOM told me that they were told my leave was approved and I wouldn’t be there. I asked what to do and got nothing in response.
During my lunch break on 2/20/24, I received a call on my personal phone from HR outlining my short term leave and giving me instruction on paperwork. They verified leave was supposed to start 2/19 and I explained no one answered me so I reported to work. She told me she would have to change my leave to go into effect starting 2/21.
Fast forward, my leave ends 5/8/24, and I had not heard anything beyond communication with HR about it ending. I text my RXM and tell him I am returning to work and ask what my next steps are. He replies late evening and tells me to reach out to SM and I tell him I will in the morning. The next morning, I receive a text with my name written in and highlighted, I’m not scheduled for the first few days (Thursday-Sunday) and I’m scheduled Monday-Wednesday. So I go in for my scheduled shift on 5/13/24. During my leave, my RXOM and a bunch of technicians quit. We gained a full time staff pharmacist and a couple technicians. I get there at 10:00 and I work until 12:00 (so for two hours) and I’m called into the office with the SM and RXM and told the SM told me that I received a final written warning for insubordination and tardiness so they decided to terminate my employment due to my continued insubordination and job abandonment and because a member of management complained about my attitude. He went on to say that he contacted HR and reported that I had an “episode” and walked away from him when he was trying to communicate with me and resolve a conflict which was the insubordination and then after my “episode” I went home instead of finishing my shift. Despite putting my leave in the day it happened, because the date of leave was changed, the day I left early wasn’t covered under FMLA.
So far, I have submitted a request to the EEOC, but their first available appointment was 11/4/24. I was not in a state to call lawyers today, but I filled out a couple online forms for Employment Discrimination lawyers that had online contact forms. Immediately after being terminated, I went to my car and logged into the employee portal and downloaded all of my available paystubs and the documented disciplinary action sheets. There wasn’t one for termination, I asked my SM how I would obtain that information and he told me to contact HR. I have some screenshots from text message communication mostly asking the RXOM for help with conflicts, but the SM would really only talk to me in the office.
I’m looking for advice on what to do next. I am feeling pretty overwhelmed. Obviously, I am going to work on my resume and start applying to jobs, but beyond that I’m not really sure what to do next. Any advice is appreciated. Even if it’s to tell me that I’m in the wrong. If you read my novel, thank you. <3
TLDR; I have autism and I was bullied into having a meltdown and then fired after returning from short term medical leave for going home early. I feel like they were looking for reasons to fire me as retaliation for reporting the ESM to HR.

Throwaway for above reason.
A few months ago, I took a new job with a new retail store opening in my area and was hired on as a third key. Everything started out ok when the schedule was 8-4 M-F, however, after the store actually opened and the schedule changed to opening/closing and weekend shifts - all of a sudden there was an issue with the assistant manager wanting to close.
For background information, I am a single, mid-20s single woman without children. The assistant manager came to me one afternoon asking to switch her one closing shift the upcoming week with my opening shift that day because closing shifts “make her tired” and she also referenced the fact that she is a mother, and that she needs to “get home to get kid, otherwise her husband has to take off work.”
I refused to switch shifts with her and honestly made up a reason as to why I couldn’t, even though I shouldn’t have felt like I needed to. I then went and reported this to the store manager, because she also disclosed to me that she claimed that she was told in her interview she would “never have to take a closing shift.” I presented this to the store manager and basically told him he needed to handle it, because I felt uncomfortable to have someone in a supervisor position come to me and ask me in a pressuring way to switch shifts.
The store manager was perfectly understandable of this, and he did speak to the assistant manager about it. However, she quickly figured out who spoke to him about it as I was the only one she had asked to switch shifts with. This then started some pretty extreme retaliation.
Despite being told not to talk to me one on one, the next day after being spoken to by the store manager, the assistant manager approached me and asked to speak privately in the office, without a witness. She approached me somewhat aggressively, and I had an uncomfortable feeling about this conversation. I agreed to talk to her there, however, on the way, I began recording the conversation on my phone. I live in a one-party recording state.
During this conversation, the assistant manager started the conversation by asking multiple times if “we can just keep this conversation a total secret, just between you and me” and then violated open door policy by telling me that I was incorrect to go to the store manager, that she “didn’t mean anything by asking to switch shifts” and if I was uncomfortable, I should have come and talked to her instead of going to my direct supervisor (the store manager). During the course of the conversation, I counted over 4 times that she said “next time don’t talk to SM name, just come talk to me” and told me I should be understanding to the fact that “she’s a mother” and why she wouldn’t want to close. It was a very uncomfortable and unprofessional conversation overall.
I of course reported this almost immediately to the store manager and showed him the recording. He agreed this was fully out of line and spoke to the assistant manager again asking why she approached me when specifically told not to. Not knowing the conversation was recorded, the assistant manager proceeded to lie and say she just “wanted to smooth things over” and made up a completely different narrative that what actually happened. She outright denied ever telling me I could not report anything to the store manager.
After this is when the retaliation started to come out in full swing. One of my job responsibilities is to visually merchandise the store. The next day when I came in for my shift, the assistant manager was tearing down and completely resetting a floor set I had just done the day prior. I asked very plainly “what are you doing?” And she immediately told me “I am not going to deal with your attitude today and I will send you home right now.” This was 20 minutes after I arrived for an 8 hour shift.
I walked away and went to the back office and interrupted the store manager who was in a district zoom meeting at the time and let him know the assistant manager was threatening to send me home. He left the meeting and then proceeded to “mediate” on the sales floor the rest of the day, as the assistant manager did not act out of pocket when under the direct supervision of the store manager.
Another notable incident was an act of attempted physical violence before the assistant manager was fired. I was in the back stock room with the inventory manager when the assistant manager, who was pushing a large rack on wheels of very heavy merchandise (I can’t be too specific as to what the merchandise was as I’m scared it may give away where I work, but this rack would have weighed 350+ lbs easily) burst through the back stock room swinging doors without warning into my direct path. I jumped out of the way with mere seconds to spare or I would have been run over and definitely injured at the speed she was going and yelled out “excuse me!” To try and illicit a response, just in case she did not see me there.
I got no response. No apology, no excuse me, just dead pan silence as she then stared at me as she went by. It felt VERY intentional. She even dropped off the merchandise at the back of the room, turned around and walked out without ever saying a word to me. The inventory manager even rushed over to me and asked if I was alright because she could see how aggressive it was.
The next incident involved the assistant manager threatening insubordination against me, and this is when I felt like she was using language to try and write me up for something. Over the weekend, the store manager (and NOT the assistant manager) completed a new visual set as directed by corporate. Since I was not present for it, I have been previously instructed by the store manager that if I feel there is a better option to fit the set to the corporate visual standard, I have the full power to make those changes behind him. This is because he prefers to set the floor set from the beginning himself and then let me go behind and tweak his work to “make it perfect.”
Since I was previously instructed to do this, when I came into work after the set had been changed, I then proceeded to “tweak” it. My honest contributions were changing the pants on one mannequin, swapping a necklace on another mannequin, and setting a hat shelf for a group of hats that were not set on the floor at all. While setting the hats, I was told that I immediately needed to stop what I was doing because “this floor set has already been set, so you changing it right now is insubordination.” I am smart enough to recognize when she adopted new vocabulary often seen in write ups that she was probably working on one. It was at this point I finally decided enough was enough, and I called HR.
The HR rep was very understanding and listened to my complaints. I do realize HR is there to protect the company more than anything, but with the hostile work environment she was creating I felt like she was a big liability to have on their hands. I complained about hostile work environment, retaliation, harassment, and discrimination because I was made to feel as if I should close because I’m childless. She told me she would investigate my claims and then report back.
To make a long story short, my suspicions were correct and the assistant manager has created an entire write up for my “attitude”that conveniently started the day after I told the store manager about the “private” conversation she had with me in the managers office. It took about a week from when I reported it, but HR did fire her for retaliation. I did not find out about the write up she had written until after she was fired.
There were a couple incidents in the week when HR was investigating her like her calling the district manager because I took our register money to the bank to get change as instructed by the store manager. She skipped calling the store manager entirely and just went straight to the district manager and attempted to make it seem as if I was stealing. The other incident involved her yelling in my face loudly at the register in front of multiple customers and calling me a liar because I corrected her on a work policy.
Once she was fired, she immediately started calling my personal cell phone multiple times. I did not answer. She then sent me a string of multiple threatening texts messages and also tried to say that my recording of our conversation was illegal (again, we live in a one-party recording state). She had a printed out copy of the law and I think is honestly dense enough to not understand that I am the one party to the recorded conversation, therefore making the recording not illegal. I told her to never text me again, and she then proceeded to get violent and threaten to fight me if I ever saw her again and call me multiple curse words. I decided to block her number, hoping that she’d move on.
The HR rep called to tell me they had “closed their investigation” and I’d be notified of the findings on my next shift, however I told the rep that I knew she was fired because she was calling me and sending me threatening text messages. IMO, the rep started to act indifferent and told me to “report it to my local authorities if I felt uncomfortable”
Now, over the past two weeks there has been an anonymous number calling the store asking to speak with me. I have yet to pick up one of these calls, however one of my coworkers did tell the person the first time that I was there. They asked to speak with me, and then when put on hold they immediately hung up. I was nervous she may try to show up, but nothing happened that I know of that night. I chalked it up to maybe it was just an actual customer.
However, today an anonymous number called again asking to speak with someone with my first name. We have two people who work there with my first name, so when my coworker asked “which one?” The anonymous caller immediately said my last name and described my physical features to a T. My coworker told the caller I wasn’t working that day, and they asked when I would return. She told them she doesn’t know the schedule so she can’t say, and then the caller hung up.
I have NEVER shared my last name with a customer, EVER and anyone who knows me well enough to know that information would just call my cell phone and definitely not from a blocked number. I have a strong suspicion this is her, although I’m extremely nervous as to why she would keep calling after it’s been weeks since she’s been fired.
What can I do to protect myself? Am I entitled to protection from my employer given the circumstances around her termination? Does this qualify for some kind of protective order? I genuinely do not feel safe going to work right now. I do not feel like I’ve been protected enough. I understand times are hard and the job market is tough, but she put herself in a position to be fired. The state of the economy makes me nervous that she may feel as if she doesn’t have anything to lose now.
TLDR: my assistant manager was fired for retaliation against me and is now threatening me and has physically harassed me in the past and is probably calling under a blocked number to get my work schedule.

My husband [M31] and I [F26] met online ten years ago and did long-distance between visits until I could move in with him, though now I think he may have groomed me (16F and 21M when we started talking) but I'm not sure, I'm still working through alot of stuff tbh.
Shortly after we got married he had a (common, manageable) chronic medical condition make itself known and it seems like thats when he became emotionally abusive and would threaten physical abuse when he got annoyed with me. He'd always had a bit of a temper toward anyone but me, but now he was quick to anger and would throw and break things in front of me when his temper flared. Sometimes we'd argue and he'd scream insults at me so loudly I could feel the bass of his voice vibrate in my chest from across the room and my ears would ring. At least twice our neighbours called for wellness checks on me, he would apologise to the officers and we'd pretend that we had no idea our little argument had gotten so out of hand, but as soon as the door closed again it was always my fault; he wouldn't have behaved that way if I had just used my brain and not made him so angry, I'm so twisted how I provoke him then play the victim.
Thankfully I'm now back in my home country and preparing to file for divorce but I can't stop feeling dumb and ashamed for how much time I wasted with him- and ohmygod, the moneeyy 😩 easily over 15 grand on visas, travelling, flights, care packages, post cards, letting him spend entire paychecks of mine on his hobbies (weed & video games)!! 🤡🤡🤡
I know I'm only 26 and still really young, but I'm angry and worried that maybe I wasted my prime years being a bangmaid to someones crusty, deadbeat son. It also haunts me how many red flags I brushed off before we were married that are perfectly fucking neon now! 🤦‍♀️ They come to me at random times, like this morning in the shower; it hit me that him physically intimidating his cats when they groomed themselves in the same room as him was never 'a sensory issue' or 'difference in training methods', he's just a short-tempered bully who solves things with threats and intimidation. I felt like I had to physically shake my head to get the embarassment out after that, because how blind could I have been!!? Ugh.
If anyone reads this and relates, how did you cope with all the anxious thoughts and negative feelings after leaving and start rebuilding yourself? I feel like I lost so much of myself in that apartment, and I'd really like to eventually stop thinking about all of this, and him, all the time.
Thanks for holding space for me if you read this far🌷

I hope that this is allowed in this sub
I've been having issues recently with a parental overview app called Bark, that my school uses to keep an eye on students. This app is meant to be used on school laptops and on school wifi with school accounts, but not in my case.
I use my own personal computer to do school work and i take it to and from school and home. A few weeks back i had looked a term on my computer, while at home, on my personal google account, on a saturday, while using my person wifi, and somehow Bark had picked it up. I had gotten called down to talk to my dean, she had called home before I even got there. I explained everything to her, and she sent me back to class, little did i know that this was just the beginning. I had talked to my parents about it and they seemed worried for my safety/privacy. I had emailed my dean about it to bring our concerns to light, nothing was done about it.
Fast forward to today, I got called down to my counselor's office to have a talk. She showed me a screenshot that i had taken the day prior. It was of a friends rant, this could've been seen as suicidal thoughts. My counselor thought that i had sent the message. The screenshot was off of my personal cell phone, as i had pointed out to her. She told me to contact our assistant principal if me or my parents had further concerns, this is the same person who I had spoken to a few weeks ago. He had no clue how or why the search was found, I'm sure it would be the same thing this time as well.
At this point I'm scared to use any of my devices. I guess I'm just looking for advice, or any idea on how this is happening and if there's a way to stop it. I'd appreciate any and all help on this matter.

I hope that this is the right subreddit for this.
I use my own personal computer to do school work and i take it to and from school and home. A few weeks back i had looked a term on my computer, while at home, on my personal google account, on a saturday, while using my person wifi, and somehow Bark had picked it up. I had gotten called down to talk to my dean, she had called home before I even got there. I explained everything to her, and she sent me back to class, little did i know that this was just the beginning. I had talked to my parents about it and they seemed worried for my safety/privacy. I had emailed my dean about it to bring our concerns to light, nothing was done about it.
Fast forward to today, I got called down to my counselor's office to have a talk. She showed me a screenshot that i had taken the day prior. It was of a friends rant, this could've been seen as suicidal thoughts. My counselor thought that i had sent the message. The screenshot was off of my personal cell phone, as i had pointed out to her. She told me to contact our assistant principal if me or my parents had further concerns, this is the same person who I had spoken to a few weeks ago. He had no clue how or why the search was found, I'm sure it would be the same thing this time as well.
At this point I'm scared to use any of my devices. I guess I'm just looking for advice, or any idea on how this is happening and if there's a way to stop it. I'd appreciate any and all help on this matter.

For example, I hire a guy to mow my lawn and he is 2 weeks over due for the second mow and my grass is over a goot tall. His automated system sent me 4 bills in 8 emails in one day for the first mow.
My son buys a very low milage car and the whole electrical system freaks out after 2 months. First shop has it 2 weeks and can't figure it out. Have it towed to the dealership 60 miles away and they say it will be fixed in a week for $300. Then it will be done in 3 weeks. Finally done after 4 weeks and it was over 2,000 for a headlight and chip it burned out. And when we pick it up it is so filthy it could almost be considered damaged and they forgot to change the oil so we had to sit there all morning.
I go to pay the quarterly trash bill, website down and bill never comes in the mail. They won't answer the phone and won't call back after multiple messages left with them. A few weeks later, website up and billing system is down. I finally find their office and physically go out and pay it. They act like I am crazy for expecting the website to work or expecting the bill in the mail at the appropriate time. Meanwhile I am just thanking my lucky stars they were in the office and let me pay it.
I got 100 more, from McDonald's messing up food to hospitals sent records to the wrong country! It seems to me, total incompetence in now the norm. Am I just the most unlucky person on earth or WTF is going on?
I sometimes wonder if every company got sold the same stupid ideas as my last job. The CEO got on this kick a couple years ago which goes about like this. If you spend 8 seconds per day doing this task and we can automate it then we save 8 seconds times five days times 52 weeks times your hourly pay etc. etc. etc. I try to explain to the dude, some stuff just has to be done and takes human decision making skills. He totally ignores me. A few years of that bs and the company sales drop dramatically, every day is a new catastrophe that I have to deal with and I finally quit. They still call and beg me to come back and fix everything 2 years later. Did every company get sold on this idiotic idea that you can charge customers and not provide any value at all?! I feel like I must be crazy or the whole damn world went and lost it's mind and I just have to go with the flow of stupid.