I love him so much cell phone signatures

We've been together for almost a year we've been together (next month is our anniversary) but I broke up with him yesterday because just last February a guy I used to like in middle school came back in my life and made an appearance to my parents, and woah! surprise surprise, they happen to like him very much and our families ended up getting close and they found our about me and my boyfriend- well, my ex now. That's just the summary of it. Now, my problem is, I love my mom so much and I just want to see her happy and proud of me, and she really likes this "middle school crush" of mine and she's pushing me to be with him and so is his family. My parents recently found out about my ex and I never want them to see him in a bad light so I broke up with him and asked for his silence. I really hope that in the future we can try again, but do you think he'll welcome me back? Our relationship was perfect, we were great for each other, we helped each other, we understood each other, we loved each other, our arguments always came to a healthy resolution. He sounded pretty mad and disappointed for what I broke up with him for and I don't blame him. Please help me, I love this boy for much. Do you think he'll accept me in the future? maybe a year from now, do you think we'll be able to try again. If you have any more advice for this situation please feel free to leave it here too.

In this edition of “Odd Titanica”, we are going to dive into the sleazy, opportunistic world of show business. A world that comedian Fred Allen said of, “you can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have room for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart”. Hyperbolic? Let’s take a look at Hollywood’s response to the Titanic disaster to see that there really is no business like show business.
Dorothy Gibson and the lost, first, film are well worn trivia by now. The traumatized actress rushed into production, her inability to process her trauma causing her mental breakdown, collapse, and retirement from acting immediately after the film was finished - it’s a perfect story to demonstrate the callousness of the film industry. But there is more to the story, and digging deeper shows us that “Saved” may have been the least sleazy project undertaken by the studios.
Dorothy’s account of the sinking and the suffering she endured filming “Saved from the Titanic” are predominantly found in two sources - The New York Dramatic Mirror and Moving Picture World. These were trade magazines, published weekly, and consisting solely of material related to the stage and screen business. These would be announcements of upcoming features, casting news, celebrity gossip, technical news - anything the movie star to the man sweeping the floor at the cinema needed to know. And they included ads … lots and lots of ads.
Immediately realizing that Titanic was not only a horrible tragedy but an incredible business opportunity, Moving Picture World got to work. As people stormed White Star Line offices, and raided newspaper carts for any drop of news regarding the sinking, Moving Picture World provided the latest in Titanic news; or perhaps we should say “Titanic” news.
The headlines of the April 27th issue may have screamed TITANIC, but as the public grabbed their copy and hurriedly flipped through the pages, they found that what they were actually given was ads. Those eye grabbing headlines were followed by much smaller print-
TITANIC EFFORTS... are being exerted by Champion to put before the exhibitors that will make them regular Champ Patrons! Get the following latest [releases] and you’ll be convinced!.
UNSINKABLE … is the reputation of Rep productions, but these two releases will sink into the minds of everyone who sees them and will remain there as worthy object lessons.
THE CRY OF THE CHILDREN …suggested by the poem of Elizabeth Barret Browning in 2 reels this Tuesday!
THE GREATEST MOTION PICTURE OF NATIONAL INTEREST - THE SINKING OF…. the big battleship. Remember the Maine!
THE DEATH SHIP...a sensational two reel drama of the sea containing one of the most thrilling dynamite explosions imaginable!
For all the slimy marketing tricks, flipping through the pages still has plenty of legitimate ads for real Titanic newsreels, movies, and a specific type of presentation known a Myriorama involving painting, music, and recitation. But, show business would strike again - the ads were legitimate, but what they were advertising was not. History has sort of forgotten the huge demand for Titanic media in the wake of the sinking, something that didn’t really exist. When cinema owners would order these “only surviving genuine negatives of the disaster” complete with lobby display package, they instead received-

our astonishment to find the Lusitania and Olympic, and one or two scratch films of ancient days posing as pictures of Titanic.

But they didn’t stop. Animated Weekly advertised that they were “the first to reach the wreck… chartered a tug from Cape Breton and rushed to the scene while the survivors were still in the water”. Cinemas began to promote footage of the sinking. Audiences wrote their disgust to Moving Picture World-

These representations are to the point of criminality … Take, for instance, the picture showing the Titanic with about a sixth of her forward length stuck into the iceberg. Everybody knows the collision did not occur in that manner!

They pointed to the following ad as an example - FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC OCEAN DISASTER. The cinema owners responded by noting that they had misread, crammed in tiny letters were the words “sunk in” so that ad actually read FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC sunk in OCEAN DISASTER. It was the customer's fault, they said, to be stupid enough to think anyone could have actually filmed the sinking.
Once this ruse was discovered, the studios shifted gears. The next step was to advertise film along with presentations by “A Lecturer who was on board”. When the audience realized the lecturer was not on Titanic and demanded a refund - the response from the managers was

Those signs didn’t say he was a survivor.

… and any attempt to charge him with the crime of fraud was absurd because, in his own words-

Of course I didn’t give him his money back. The sign didn’t misrepresent anything. West was on the Titanic, the sign didn’t say when he was.

…which was true. The lecturer, Eugene West, had visited Titanic while she was under construction at Belfast.
As for the movies themselves?

We said we had pictures. If people were foolish enough to think we meant moving pictures, that was their fault.

This particular cheated audience member was told if he wanted his money back, to go on the street and sing for it. Whether it was this, or something else, eventually the public snapped and began hauling out cinema managers and beating them in the streets. By May, the mayors of Boston and Memphis had banned the showing of any Titanic pictures - moving or still- within the city.
But, where was Dorothy in all this? Tucked in the very back of the magazine, after another newsreel ad,, we get to the celebrity sighting and gossip section. Ed Lux of the Rex Film Exchange was in town, Dan Markowitz of Fox Pictures was as well, Arthur Schmidt of the Victor Film Company was seen having a lovely spa at a Turkish Bath, Sam Gobel of the St Louis Motion Picture Company has been walking up and down 42nd street, we don’t know if Southern film maker Henry Wasserman is still here but he might be, Dorothy Gibson survived the sinking of the Titanic, and the Director of Selig Pictures took some actresses to Santa Catalina for a swim and a photoshoot and they had a great time.
By the following edition, on May 2nd, Moving Picture World was also able to provide its readers with the first stills from “Saved from the Titanic” and a feature on Dorothy. Along with this, tucked in the editorials, the magazine finally published a piece of truthful news about the Titanic disaster-

Senator William Alden Smith … declined to grant permission to have the cinematopgraph make a record of the sessions of the committee. “The sessions” he is quoted as saying…”are solemn affairs and must not be hippodromed or commercialized”. He is, however, falling into a serious error in judgement-

…they sniffed.

As a matter of right, the camera man ought to have been permitted. The day of the enfranchisement of the motion picture will surely come .. which will give equal rights to the cinematographer and the newspaper man.

Then, among the illegal false advertising and reports of public brawls at the cinema, they ended with-

The lesson of the Titanic disaster and all its incidents can be made far more impressive by pictures that move than by mere words in cold letters.

I am almost scared to post this in fear of retaliation but I also feel like this is so insane and I want to hear some opinions. (sorry for the long post.)
So about, 6-7 months ago we had plumbing issues in our basement which led to sewage backing up. We didn't make a big "stink" about it but our landlord was trying to insist we were using flushable wipes. We don't. (this is an OLD house. totally reasonable to have shit plumbing??) We told him we didn't. He comes and snakes it and it "goes down" - whatever, he thinks he fixes it. Soon enough it comes back up and he tells us its our job to call a plumber at this point. So we do. They say theres no blockage they could find at the time. Thats pretty much all we could do then and there.
Last week it comes back up but way worse this time. At this point we've dealt with a sleu of other issues so we're not exactly happy. We tell him its backing up. The consistency of the sewage is like... thick oatmeal. We get it to go down thinking maybe the blockage passed like it had before and it came back. We've had items ruined due to this since it reached almost the ENTIRETY of our LARGE basement(our fault for using the space we pay for I guess) He insists its our job to call a plumber so we do.
The plumber (independent of my landlord!) comes and tells me theres a pipe that leads from the second floor of the house to the basement that is a problem but somebody /shoved a bottle/ into the access of the pipe and theres no way to clear it without breaking it or removing the pipe. He said breaking it would/could cause another blockage so he recommended we remove it. Plumber says he will snake what he can but hes not finding anything. Just like the last plumber.
So I tell the landlord what the deal is, making sure to let him know I am not paying for this, it sounds like they're going to have to remove a section of pipe to solve this - and the guy wont do any work before talking to the landlord (why? "were supposed to pay for it?") - so they get on the phone. The plumber walks outside to talk to him and gets talked into snaking again the same pipes as the last plumbers, and disreguarding the advice to fix the pipe. Also I want to make clear that he himself told the plumber to do this. I did not. I would have rather the problem get fixed than band-aided. So we PAY FOR THE SNAKE because he insists its our responsibility. I tell him if it happens again, he should pay as its clearly the fault of the old plumbing. He points to our lease which says He then says we flush too much paper and actually tells my roommate we should stop using toilet paper.
Ive had bad landlords but I feel like this is so unreasonable? He points to the lease, saying its our responsibility to fix it, but the lease actually says "Landlord must provide and maintain the premisis in a safe, habitable, and fit condition" - I didn't even complain when a hole in our garage led to animals coming in and literally shitting on everything I own and tearing up my couches that I had stored and had to throw away. I feel like we've been beyond reasonable and charitable and hes trying to bully us.
We're supposed to renew our lease in a couple months. Im scared that by posting this I might risk that because at this point I do not hold that above him. Is there anything we could do in this situation? Do we actually have to pay for plumbing issues if its repeated? (If I took massive fat shits that repeatedly caused this problem, I think I would have a legacy of this, and I sure fucking dont) Should we even have paid the plumber to begin with?

so me 22F and my bf 20M have been together just over 2 years. he has issues with his family and has been living with me for just under a year, we were first living with my mother but she was emotionally, verbally and financially abusive. we moved to my step fathers a few months ago. my bf is a stoner and has 2 close friends that he smokes with most days if not everyday! (when we were at my mothers he limited to weekends but since moving it’s become reoccurring) i have had issues with these friends because he tells them everything about our relationship and they talk badly on me to validate him. since we have started dating my bf has not been able to hold a job for longer than a week, he says it’s because of his mental health and the fact he doesn’t have a licence (for health reasons) and that he is looking for work and wants to work but it doesn’t seem like he’s even trying. i work full time shift work and provide for both of us. he has a past of messaging girls which he hasn’t done for over a year now (call me crazy but i keep check 🤦🏻‍♀️).
anyways, i do love him but i feel like im being leeched onto or like im his mother providing everything for him and i don’t want to forever be providing for him while he sits at home all day and then goes out to smoke weed with his mates.
im unsure if i am putting off a breakup because he lives with me and has no where to go because of his family dramas or because i do love him so much

In this edition of “Odd Titanica”, we are going to dive into the sleazy, opportunistic world of show business. A world that comedian Fred Allen said of, “you can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have room for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart”. Hyperbolic? Let’s take a look at Hollywood’s response to the Titanic disaster to see that there really is no business like show business.
Dorothy Gibson and the lost, first, film are well worn trivia by now. The traumatized actress rushed into production, her inability to process her trauma causing her mental breakdown, collapse, and retirement from acting immediately after the film was finished - it’s a perfect story to demonstrate the callousness of the film industry. But there is more to the story, and digging deeper shows us that “Saved” may have been the least sleazy project undertaken by the studios.
Dorothy’s account of the sinking and the suffering she endured filming “Saved from the Titanic” are predominantly found in two sources - The New York Dramatic Mirror and Moving Picture World. These were trade magazines, published weekly, and consisting solely of material related to the stage and screen business. These would be announcements of upcoming features, casting news, celebrity gossip, technical news - anything the movie star to the man sweeping the floor at the cinema needed to know. And they included ads … lots and lots of ads.
Immediately realizing that Titanic was not only a horrible tragedy but an incredible business opportunity, Moving Picture World got to work. As people stormed White Star Line offices, and raided newspaper carts for any drop of news regarding the sinking, Moving Picture World provided the latest in Titanic news; or perhaps we should say “Titanic” news.
The headlines of the April 27th issue may have screamed TITANIC, but as the public grabbed their copy and hurriedly flipped through the pages, they found that what they were actually given was ads. Those eye grabbing headlines were followed by much smaller print-
TITANIC EFFORTS are being exerted by Champion to put before the exhibitors that will make them regular Champ Patrons! Get the following latest [releases] and you’ll be convinced!.
UNSINKABLE … is the reputation of Rep productions, but these two releases will sink into the minds of everyone who sees them and will remain there as worthy object lessons.
THE CRY OF THE CHILDREN …suggested by the poem of Elizabeth Barret Browning in 2 reels this Tuesday!
** THE GREATEST MOTION PICTURE OF NATIONAL INTEREST - THE SINKING OF**…. the big battleship. Remember the Maine!
THE DEATH SHIP...a sensational two reel drama of the sea containing one of the most thrilling dynamite explosions imaginable!
For all the slimy marketing tricks, flipping through the pages still has plenty of legitimate ads for real Titanic newsreels, movies, and a specific type of presentation known a Myriorama involving painting, music, and recitation. But, show business would strike again - the ads were legitimate, but what they were advertising was not.
History has sort of forgotten the huge demand for Titanic media in the wake of the sinking, something that didn’t really exist. When cinema owners would order these “only surviving genuine negatives of the disaster” complete with lobby display package, they instead received-

our astonishment to find the Lusitania and Olympic, and one or two scratch films of ancient days posing as pictures of Titanic.

But they didn’t stop. Animated Weekly advertised that they were “the first to reach the wreck… chartered a tug from Cape Breton and rushed to the scene while the survivors were still in the water”. Cinemas began to promote footage of the sinking. Audiences wrote their disgust to Moving Picture World-

These representations are to the point of criminality … Take, for instance, the picture showing the Titanic with about a sixth of her forward length stuck into the iceberg. Everybody knows the collision did not occur in that manner!

They pointed to the following ad as an example - FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC OCEAN DISASTER. The cinema owners responded by noting that they had misread, crammed in tiny letters were the words “sunk in” so that ad actually read FIRST PICTURES OF THE TITANIC sunk in OCEAN DISASTER. It was the customers fault, they said, to be stupid enough to think anyone could have actually filmed the sinking.
Once this ruse was discovered, the studios shifted gears. The next step was to advertise film along with presentations by “A Lecturer who was on board”. When the audience realized the lecturer was not on Titanic and demanded a refund - the response from the managers was

Those signs didn’t say he was a survivor.

… and any attempt to charge him with the crime of fraud was absurd because, in his own words-

Of course I didn’t give him his money back. The sign didn’t misrepresent anything. West was on the Titanic, the sign didn’t say when he was.

…which was true. The lecturer, Eugene West, had visited Titanic while she was under construction at Belfast.
As for the movies themselves?

We said we had pictures. If people were foolish enough to think we meant moving pictures, that was their fault.

This particular cheated audience member was told if he wanted his money back, to go on the street and sing for it. Whether it was this, or something else, eventually the public snapped and began hauling out cinema managers and beating them in the streets. By May, the mayors of Boston and Memphis had banned the showing of any Titanic pictures - moving or still- within the city.
But, where was Dorothy in all this? Tucked in the very back of the magazine, after another newsreel ad,, we get to the celebrity sighting and gossip section. Ed Lux of the Rex Film Exchange was in town, Dan Markowitz of Fox Pictures was as well, Arthur Schmidt of the Victor Film Company was seen having a lovely spa at a Turkish Bath, Sam Gobel of the St Louis Motion Picture Company has been walking up and down 42nd street, we don’t know if Southern film maker Henry Wasserman is still here but he might be, Dorothy Gibson survived the sinking of the Titanic, and the Director of Selig Pictures took some actresses to Santa Catalina for a swim and a photoshoot and they had a great time.
By the following edition, on May 2nd, Moving Picture World was also able to provide its readers with the first stills from “Saved from the Titanic” and a feature on Dorothy. Along with this, tucked in the editorials, the magazine finally published a piece of truthful news about the Titanic disaster-

Senator William Alden Smith … declined to grant permission to have the cinematopgraph make a record of the sessions of the committee. “The sessions” he is quoted as saying…”are solemn affairs and must not be hippodromed or commercialized”. He is, however, falling into a serious error in judgement-

…they sniffed.

As a matter of right, the camera man ought to have been permitted. The day of the enfranchisement of the motion picture will surely come .. which will give equal rights to the cinematographer and the newspaper man.

Then, among the illegal false advertising and reports of public brawls at the cinema, they ended with-

The lesson of the Titanic disaster and all its incidents can be made far more impressive by pictures that move than by mere words in cold letters.

I think my mom has Se, Ni, and Te.... however, two people on my previous post believed she was xSFJ (but didn’t elaborate why). What do you guys think? Please explain why you think yes or no.
NEED TO BE PRODUCTIVE + BUSY

• Absolutely cannot relax without doing something productive first, even on the weekends.
• Once told my cousin (who worked 5 days a week 7am-5pm) that she should look for part time shifts on the weekend since she has all that free time. I legit thought she was insane for believing that.
• I often don't tell my mom when I have an off day because otherwise she would expect me to still be productive otherwise.

NEED TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF HERSELF

• Always keeps an eye out on how she can self-improve and be better. Be it aesthetically, financially, lifestyle-wise, health-wise, etc. She especially pushes it on to me. This also includes education and career, always pushing me to aim for better positions and get more degrees.
• Her favorite topic is finances. Always wants to know how she can live comfortably now and later. But this also causes her lots of anxiety.

UNSOLICITED ADVICE IN STEAMROLL KIND OF WAY

• She's very quick to help give advice to someone, but it's often unsolicited and also quite forceful. Instead of suggesting it gently, her wording is more like "you should do this, then tell them that, you have to also do this or else it'll cause you trouble." She means well, I just don't think it's appreciated or welcome
• Also does not realize that her advice is unsolicited. Which is ironic because she expects emotional support and sometimes lashes out at me if I just give advice, yet she does the same and doesn't realize.
• Really reminds me of Leslie Knope from Parks and Rec for this trait.

DEFINITELY JUST KNOWS THINGS

• Showed my mom this korean tv show, Fantastic Duo, where several contestants perform together and the artist of the song picks one to sing a duet with. Within legit 5 seconds of it starting, my mom pointed to one contestant and said "seems like she'll get picked" and she was right. I was shocked. I showed her another clip and she also immediately pinpointed the right person.
• When I asked her how she knows, she said she always has been able to know things like this without explanation. According to her, it just comes to her suddenly.

SOMETIMES SEEMS UNSURE WHAT TO THINK

• My mom has strong opinions and beliefs, and often cannot be swayed. A little stubborn. BUT there are times where it seems like she doesn’t have a strong opinion (or one at all), and then if I express leaning one way she will strongly agree with me and take on that belief.
• Not out of insecurity or “just because”, but it feels like she was on the fence with no strong opinion and then once seeing points made that she isn’t against, she will strongly agree and believe in it.

VERY ANXIOUS ABOUT THE FUTURE

• This might be an excessive amount for a function, but she's constantly anxious and she very easily spirals. She'll be fine one moment, then if I bring something up, she'll immediately spiral and won't stop ruminating about it even though I said it's fine and not a big deal.
• Also constantly worries abut making the wrong decision. Even if she made the right decision, she'll sometimes be like "What if we chose the other decision?" The reasoning for this seems to be more that she's considering too many perspectives and cannot decide what the overall right choice is.
• My perspective of her anxiety is that nothing can get her out of the muck. If I give her objective reasoning, it only temporarily relieves it and I can see it. She'll firmly say "yes you're right" with relief, but you can tell she still only says it tentatively compared to her usual self.
• Continuously repeats topics and points over and over within one conversation. Or she'll say ABC, then we move on, then a short bit later we come back to the conversation and she'll repeat ABC even if I provided moral support and logical reasoning to try to relieve her thoughts. Her repetitive points on her pain points go nowhere and is also never solved.

FIERY, AMBITIOUS PERSON

• Always been hot-headed and fiery, both in temper and passion. She has this aggression in her to want to get things done. Very Type A kind of person.
• The kind of person to thrive off of negative feedback so she can be like "I'll fucking show you"
• Constantly comparing herself to others like "oh this person has good traits, I should be like that too" or "this person's trait is bad, I know now to not be like that."
• The kind of person to say "there are no stupid questions" but then you ask one and she'll say "use your fucking head, what a stupid question"

RARELY SEES HERSELF IN THE WRONG, BUT EVENTUALLY SELF-REFLECTS

• Self-explanatory, but she very rarely sees herself as wrong. She is stubborn and will hold steadfast to her opinions and beliefs in the moment. I don't think I've ever heard her apologize, and especially not admit she was wrong in the moment unless there's concrete proof.
• That said, if you give her time to brood about it, she'll come around and admit you have a point. She still won't apologize, but she'll say it in a "I get it, objectively it's right" kind of way.
• E.g., she got PISSED at me a couple years ago for not making a big deal on mother's day. Then some months later, she and I were talking and she said "I even told the friend that we have to be understanding of our own actions. I got mad at Gorgo about not celebrating mother's day once, but then I later realized I can't blame her. We never celebrate holidays and I don't do anything big for her birthday either, so why should I have expected her to celebrate mother's day?"
• It was like an indirect admittance through an irrelevant conversation she had, something she never brought up with me.

CARES TOO MUCH WHAT OTHERS THINK

• Yes to what society thinks, but I mean this mostly with personal relationships. If she has to make a decision that benefits some people and not the others, she worries way too much how the unfavored people in the group will be impacted.
• One time we ordered custom clothing from a store, and we weren't very happy with the end result. The tip amount was up to us, so I stood firm on a certain amount. My mom objectively sided with me, but emotionally wondered if we should give more because even though the result wasn't good, the store owner still went through all that trouble.
• I feel like this goes hand in hand with her anxiety.

USED TO BE SPONTANEOUS AS HELL WHEN YOUNGER

• My mom has all these wild stories of her when she was younger. She'd be traveling across the country with her friends by train, then randomly she'd get off at a stop and be like "okay I'll see you guys back at home! I actually wanna get off here" shocking her friends. And this was pre-cell phone times too. My mom today cannot fathom how she never got kidnapped or something.
• Once, she got tuberculosis and had to be hospitalized for some days. Once she was discharged, she went straight to the salon, got her hair done, and went to the club to dance lol
• Definitely was the leader of her friend group and everyone always relied on her for fun and plans
• She no longer is like this. Could be due to growing up, could also be due to the after effects of depression she had a few years ago. More of a homebody now.

KEEN EYE FOR AESTHETICS

• I've always believed that if my mom led her ideal life, she'd be an interior designer. She has an eye for things, and I don't know how to describe it.
• One time, we were figuring out what to do with this blank spot in my room. We fiddled around for a bit, then she had an idea, went downstairs, hauled up the large ottoman we had and placed it there. Looked great immediately and has been there ever since!
• I don't remember this, but she has told me how everyone would compliment the outfits she'd pick out for me, or the younger girls at work would compliment my mom on her outfits. And genuine compliments, not fake ones, as she says.

MISC.

• Not into fantasy/sci-fi. You will never catch her watching that genre. She likes political movies, action, based on true stories, spicy romance.
• Not into deep talk. Very much talks about strictly relationships/people, productivity/how to be your best self either internally or externally, etc.
• Very spiritual and religious (buddhism).

Will answer any questions you may have. Thank you!!

Welcome to Reading The Big Book of Cyberpunk!
Each week we (u/FarragutCircle and u/fanny_bertram) will be reading 5-ish stories from Jared Shurin’s The Big Book of Cyberpunk, which includes a curated selection of cyberpunk stories written from 1950 to 2022! We’ll include synopses of the stories along with links to any legally available online versions we can find. Feel free to read along with us or just stop by and hear our thoughts about some cyberpunk stories to decide if any of them sound interesting to you.
Every once in a while, we reach out to people who have more insight, due to being fans of the author or have some additional context for the story. (Or we just tricked them into it.) So please welcome u/Kopratic who will be sharing their thoughts on "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale" by Philip K. Dick!
Section 4: Challenge
In our fourth and penultimate section, editor Jared Shurin highlights how cyberpunk looks at technology that creates harm when put into practice, and later cites Marshall McLuhan about artists as challengers. (Shurin really seems to like this McLuhan guy.) Amusingly there’s a footnote where he mentions litrpg in passing, though he says there’s no litrpg in this anthology)
“We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick (published 1966; also available in his collection Selected Stories of Philip K. Dick)
Quail’s desire to go to Mars leads him to a memory-implant company so he can remember going to Mars, but complications and revelations and twists ensue, hilariously.

• Special Guest Kopratic: So this guy really wants to go to Mars, but it’s pretty dang expensive. Fortunately, what’s not as expensive is paying a company to trick him into thinking he’s been to Mars by implanting false memories into his mind. Unfortunately, things go wrong, and before he writes up a scathing Yelp review, he gets his money back, his wife leaving him, and his life falling apart.
• It’s a story I’ve read before. Not this exact, specific story, but the bones of it. Virtually visiting another time or place. It’s never real, but they tend to beg the question: Do memories create reality? Maybe this particular story was one that inspired, even if indirectly, the others. Maybe it’s a trope that had been used before, and the author was just putting his own spin on it like the ones that came after.
• I did like it. I thought that it was annoying how the secretary was described as being topless in practically every scene she was in. It went from, “Oh in this society that’s a normal thing, and body paint is a sort of fashion item” to “...we get it.” It was a minor part of the story at least.
• The twists were pretty good, too. There’s a moment where you start to question things alongside the protagonist. Maybe the false memories did work. He’s not supposed to know they’re fake, but he does. But he also has things that can’t possibly be explained by ways of “implanted memories.” Or maybe they can. Even until the very end, the story keeps you guessing. It did a good job of keeping the tension alive.
• In a sense, the story asks the question, “What is reality?” and fits in nicely as an entry into the realm of cyberpunk.
  
• Farragut’s thoughts: We’ve read Dick before in Science Fiction. Between that story and this, if I hadn’t read two of his novels already, I would’ve thought Dick was a comedic SF writer because of how funny I’ve found his short fiction so far. I vaguely recall (ha!) having seen the movie Total Recall, but I’m not sure PKD has ever had a faithful adaptation of his works. Anyway, this is just a fun story—not as wild as the film, but just a plain fun examination of memory and reality.
  
• fanny’s thoughts: The editor points out that each filming of Total Recall gets worse and this is correct. I had never read the story and I did like it despite it being a story I have seen before. Dick did a great job of making the reader doubt memories and the reality for the character. There are a lot of careful details throughout the short story that play with this concept and add to the general confusion of what is real. The story is not the most amazing thing, but it is very well done and a bit twisty.
  

“Speed” by Misha (1988)
I think that Speed is looking for Speelyi-427 on behalf of a computer AI called Juno 888, but after that I’m lost.

• Farragut: We’ve read Misha before in Science Fiction. She’s a very cyberpunky type author, but I’ll be darned if I understand half of what’s going on here. There’s data as currency, there’s an all powerful computer named Juno 888 (I think?), there’s a car chase with a barbed-wire tripwire at neck level (ouch), there’s indigenous ghost dancers, and I had a hell of a time connecting the dots. It didn’t help that for the first couple pages I didn’t realize Speed was the character’s name, which made the story even more abstract at first. I absolutely know there’s someone out there who loves the crap out of experimental/transcendental stuff like this, but it wasn’t me.
  
• fanny: I was beyond confused reading this one. For half the story I thought the character was the computer, 888, but then I realized it was Speed. I am not sure that helped though. I feel like this was too experimental for me and it just missed the mark. The good part of this was the trading in data and the trying to steal data, which was an interesting technology application.
  

“Computer Friendly” by Eileen Gunn (1989; also available in her collection Stable Strategies and Others)
Elizabeth and other kids are tested, and while she passes with flying covers, her new friends might lose their lives unless she can figure out a way to help them in a world where the heavily computerized future uses real brains from people and dogs.

• Farragut: Gunn is an oft-nominated writer (including for this story), but ended up winning the 2005 Nebula for “Coming to Terms”. I really loved this bizarre future (she’ll play computer fetch with her dog when he has downtime from managing data traffic), and Elizabeth is an adorable character to follow as she navigates the shocking new revelations about her world. The help she gets from some of the obscure entities on the network is perfect, especially when they realize that their current world is a little too predictable these days. Highly recommended, especially for Elizabeth’s “hacking” methods.
  
• fanny: I loved this story and following Elizabeth through it all. Elizabeth is a fierce, determined little girl who doesn't want anything bad to happen to her friends. She goes to extremes for this and gets help from the weirdest sources within the network system. The net system, entities, and the world are so well thought out and carefully crafted. It felt fully realized which is unusual for me to find in a short story. Absolute loved this one.
  

“I Was a Teenage Genetic Engineer” by Nisi Shawl (1989)
The narrator is imprisoned for her reckless genetic engineering, making new incarnations of old gods.

• Farragut: Shawl is a multiple-award-winning author and has done a lot of work on promoting diversity in SF/F. A very short story (under a thousand words), it’s also got a very mythic and poetic tone to it, like a confession as a parable. Very evocative, with lots of classical allusions.
  
• fanny: Such a short story and such a unique concept. I liked that the main character made the entire Pantheon and unleashed the Greek gods back on the world. I found the description of creating Psyche the best part. This story is a bit experimental, but worked for me.
  

“The Gene Drain” by Lewis Shiner (1989)
A generation ship ends up right back on Earth, with disturbing and amusing differences between the two groups.

• Farragut: Shiner was a member of the Turkey City Writer’s Workshop which is considered a “cradle of cyberpunk”. This story was quite amusing, and you can see the differences between the overly-technological humans on Earth and the extremely weird worshippers of Johnny Carson. The author does a great job of encapsulating all the changes since the ship left in little throwaway lines, and the ending was both disturbing and funny.
  
• fanny: I found the whole premise quite ridiculous, but a nice way to show how too much technology can change society. The worshippers of Johnny Carson return to earth and manage to get a leader who has a bad experience with tech. The extremes he is willing to go to is both realistic and slightly disturbing. The ending is amusing, but it is serious too. I like how Shiner balanced absurdity with real society challenges. But also cult of Carson.
  

That’s it for this week! Check back the same time next week where we’ll be reading and discussing "Deep Eddy" by Bruce Sterling, "The Yuletide Cyberpunk Yarn, or Christmas_Eve-117.DIR" by Victor Pelevin, "Wonderama" by Bef, "comp.basilisk FAQ" by David Langford, and "Spider's Nest" by Myra Çakan.
Also posted on Bochord Online.

Trial Day 11
Katherine Jackson, Rebbie and Trent are at court.
Choreographer Travis Payne & Katherine Jackson spoke briefly in the courtroom before the jury came in. They seemed cordial
Travis Payne Testimony
AEG direct
Payne is wearing a black jacket with a gold emblem on the shoulders with the word "MJ" & a pair of wings
Payne said he was concerned about MJ missing rehearsals. He didn't know why he wasn't showing up, but MJ was also working on an album and a book
Payne said he did not think that Jackson had a problem abusing prescription medications. He acknowledged that Jackson missed rehearsals and he saw the singer shivering or appearing cold in some of his final rehearsals
He worked with Jackson beginning in the 1990's and testified that he never saw Jackson drink alcohol or take any medications. Michael also never discussed his medical treatments, Payne said
Payne told the jury he advised MJ he was looking thin.

"Michael said he was 'getting down to my fighting weight', which I took to mean that he was preparing for the performances", Payne testified. "I had no reason to doubt him"

Payne says he was satisfied with the response.
Payne said there was one day (6/19) when MJ was cold. He thought the frustration had him on edge. When Jackson needed to be layered in blankets and required a heater to be comfortable, Payne said, he believed Michael was merely fighting a cold.

"No one else was cold. He had flu-like symptoms"
"Sometimes he was tired and lethargic and had to be, not convinced, but supported throughout rehearsals," Payne recalled

Payne said that in April, May & June, MJ missed 5 rehearsals with the whole group. He said one time Ortega sent Michael home
Bina shows an email from Ortega to Gongaware on Jun 14:

"Were you aware that Michael's doctor didn't permit him to attend rehearsal yesterday? Without invading his privacy, it might be a good idea to talk to his doctor to make sure everything he requires is in place. Who is responsible for Michael getting proper nourishment/vitamins/therapy every day? Personally, I feel he should have a top Nutritionist and Physical Therapist working with him on a regular basis. The demand on this guy is mentally and physically extraordinary! The show requirements exhaust our 20 year olds. Please don't underestimate the need to stay on top of this"

Another part of the same email chain, from Gongaware:

"Frank and I have discussed it already and have requested a face-to-face meeting w/ the doctor... We want to remind him that it's AEG not Michael Jackson who's paying his salary We want him to understand what is expected of him. He has been dodging Frank so far

Payne said his understanding was that AEG was paying Dr. Murray's salary not Michael. The doctor was there to oversee many things, Payne said. Payne explained he didn't have much reason to question Dr. Murray since he thought that a doctor selected to work with Michael was top notch.
Bina asked Payne whether he ever met Conrad Murray. The choreographer says he met Murray twice. Payne says the first time he met Dr. Murray was at the Carolwood house.

"I was going up the steps, Dr. Murray going downstairs, Michael introduced us."

Payne was coming up from the basement to the middle floor. Studio was at the basement. Payne said he never went to the top floor of the house. He says the second time was at the Staples Center, after a rehearsal and Jackson was leaving for the day. Both meetings were brief.
When asked how Michael performed on June 23 & 24:

"He was having his process, I didn't expect him to be like he would in front of a crowd," Payne explained. "He was not at show standards ... I didn't expect him to be as he would be in front of a crowd."
Payne: "It ebbed and flowed. Some days were good, some days were not as good."

The last two days were good.

"I thought he was in his way to the goals he set himself," Payne told the jury.

He didn't have any question that MJ would be able to perform , adding that he and others were impressed while watching Jackson rehearse at Staples Center on June 23/24, 2009.
Payne described the day MJ died: He was headed to rehearsal at Michael's home, got a call from his mother who said she saw reports on the news. Payne heard news on the radio, called Staples Center spoke to Stacy Walker, she said they were rehearsing. He was told to go to Staples.

"We were optimistic of his arrival," Payne said explaining they were expecting Michael to rehearse at the Staples Center.

Payne said Ortega got a series of calls. He remembers Kenny saying:

'tell me something that will make me know it's you and that this is true'

​

" I remember him (Kenny Ortega) collapsing in his seat and crying," Payne testified

Payne said he never saw Michael drink alcohol or take medication but

"Sometimes, in rehearsal, Michael would appear just a little loopy, under the influence of something, but mostly when he would come to the rehearsals from the dermatologist," Payne testified.

That happened two to four times in the weeks before his death, he said. Payne told that he didn't think Jackson had a problem with prescription drugs

"Michael was undergoing personal cosmetic procedures, so he could feel great and do a good job," Payne said.

Payne also said he appeared groggy in the morning sometimes, which he attributed to lack of sleep

"Mr. Jackson just explained to me that he had trouble sleeping, that he was tired, and that satisfied me," Payne testified.

He stated that he's not sure how much weight MJ had lost
Payne mentioned one day in particular at a meeting with Andre Crouch and singers, MJ seemed a little out of it
Payne said at one point, he & others tried to bring in a top physical therapist who works with Olympic athletes to help Michael. Jackson didn't work w/physical therapist flown in for him.

"At the last minute we realized that Michael was not going to go through with it. He was just not comfortable with the invasion of personal space."

Bina played a clip of This Is It from Jun 4 showing the green screen and making of "Drill" and Michael talking about the cool moves, dancing. Payne said the idea was to show the rehearsals and how things came together. The footage itself wasn't altered, but there was editing. Payne said they picked the best of the rehearsal to include in the documentary. He wanted to reshoot some scenes but was not allowed. Payne, who was an associate producer on the This Is It documentary, said the footage of Jackson had not been retouched or altered.
Jackson cross
Attorney Brian Panish cross examined Payne. He asked if Michael ever performed the entire show from beginning to end. Payne said "No"

"Was he ready to perform for an audience?", Panish asked.
"I thought he was on his way to the goals he had set for himself," Payne answered. "All I saw was improvement and getting closer to the goals"

Payne's impression was that MJ loved being a father. He said he saw the beauty of their relationships, loyalty to one another.

"When we rehearsed, we had meals together," Payne recalled, talking about Michael and all three children.

Payne thought the relationship between MJ and Prince was awesome, Michael was a proud father, great to see how they interacted. Prince wanted to be a director, Michael would point out things to him during rehearsal should that be his career, Payne remembered.
As to Paris Jackson, Payne said he saw a very protective young lady, smart, astute, with knowledge of the production, very hands on. Paris, who was 11 at the time, was

"a very retentive young lady who was very, very smart, very astute," Payne testified. "She had full knowledge of the day-to-day operations, from the time of lunch and what it was going to be, she was hands on -- far beyond her age," he said. "She had a lot of responsibility, which I think she welcomed"

Payne said she was "the female of the house," and also "a daddy's girl."

"She really loved her father," he said. "At that time, she was coming to find out his global successes and presence, so she would wear her Michael Jackson t-shirt, headband and bag," he said.

It was Paris who would bless the food when they were have lunch with their father at home, he said.

"She was always the most vocal of the three children and was very concerned about many of the details of the house, was the temperature correct, what do you want to eat," Payne testified. "She just handled a lot for her young age"

Blanket, who was 7 when his father died, was the most quiet of the three. He liked to watch his father rehearsing his dances with Payne in the basement studio of their home, Payne said.

"He was quiet, but always right there with his dad," he said.

Michael guided and mentored him. Payne said he would be proud if MJ was his father and agreed the children suffered a tremendous loss. When rehearsing with Jackson at his Holmby Hills residence, Payne said the singer clearly delighted in being a father and shared meals with all three

"I saw the beauty of their relationships. I saw their loyalty to their father, I saw his loyalty to them. Their father enlightened them and taught them", he testified. "I was very proud to see Michael as such a loving father."
Panish: "Was Paris a Daddy's girl?"
Payne: "Yes, I believe so"

His description of the close relationship Paris (15) and Prince (16) had with their father four years ago could foreshadow the significance of the children's testimony later in the trial.
Payne always carries a video camera with him and shot videos of rehearsal. AEG took the footage that Payne shot and never returned to him. Email from Randy to Paul:

"Make sure you take out the shots of Michael in that red jacket... He looks way too thin and skeletal."

Payne said he was not aware of the email. He said Michael looked thin, but not skeletal. He doesn't know if Paul/Randy took any the footage out. The email was not displayed for the jury
As for Michael's relationship with Katherine, Payne said

"there's no secret that he loved his mother very much. It is kind of common knowledge"

​

"Karen Faye is a make up artist. She designed the make up, was always there when Michael was there", Payne testified.

Payne said Faye and MJ had a long term working relationship. They spent a lot of personal time together. Faye was concerned and frustrated with how Michael looked. She went to Payne kind of in an aggressive way. Payne told her to report to Ortega.
Payne said he wanted MJ to have a physical therapist, nutritionist, massage therapist, and have his family around. He said this was a different scenario.

"This was the first time MJ was working with AEG," Payne testified, saying he had always been hired by MJJ production before.

Payne said this was the first time Michael was not the sole producer of the show. Payne started working without a signed contract. He was being paid by AEG. Panish showed Payne's written contract. It is between Payne and AEG, beginning April 1, 2009. The contract said only AEG could cancel it. He testified that there was a delay in his contract with AEG because the salary was not in line with his standard charges, but that things worked out after he had a conversation with Jackson. Payne also said he believed AEG was paying Murray's salary, not Jackson
Payne was hired and paid by AEG. His contract was with AEG.

Panish: "Who could fire you. AEG?"
Payne: "I'm sure"

Things became heated when Panish inquired about a text message Karen Faye sent to Payne that accused him of lying to the media after Michael's death. He said earlier Faye had approached him in an "aggressive" way about her concern for Jackson's health but he told her to take her concerns to Ortega.

"I do not remember receiving a text message from Karen Faye asking why I was lying to the media," Payne explained.
Panish: "Were you upset when MJ died?"
Payne: "Yes"

During cross-examination, Payne was shown several photos of premieres for the This Is It documentary .Panish shows a picture of Payne at the red carpet premiere. He agreed he was happy about the premiere. In one, Ortega & AEG executive Randy Phillips flank Jackson's manager, Frank DiLeo, who has a cigar hanging out of his mouth. All three are grinning. Brian Panish, the attorney for Jackson's family, remarked that everyone looked pretty happy
Payne said he wasn't privy to details of what was expected of Dr. Murray. AEG was producepromoter, but MJ was the star, had to be happy
Panish reminded Payne that he had testified in his deposition that AEG was

"trying to protect its investment"

​

"I don't have a dog in this race so I'm not on either side", an aggravated Payne countered adding that he felt Panish was being aggressive. "I'm just saying I don't want to be painted as somebody who's trying to mask anything".

After several hours of testy exchanges with Panish, his voice quivered and he dabbed his eyes with a tissue.

"I'm just trying to have a conversation with you and tell the truth."

Panish asked Payne if defendants' attorney approached him during lunch to show him some documents. He said yes, he saw parts of his deposition
Under cross examination, Payne acknowledged that some of Jackson's behavior, including grogginess, lethargy, insomnia and occasional paranoia, were possible symptoms of prescription drug abuse. He also said that despite testifying earlier that he worked with Jackson one-on-one five days a week, he couldn't recall how many rehearsals the singer actually attended
Panish after lunch break got Travis Payne to concede Jackson wasn't present for a May 19, 2009 rehearsal. Payne also conceded that Jackson was a no-show for a June 22, 2009 rehearsal. Panish confronted Payne saying that yesterday he said he was with MJ at a dance studio on May 19, that they were up on their feet & danced.

Panish: "Sir, Michael was not with you May 19, 2009, was he?"
Payne: "No"
Panish: "He was at the doctor"
Payne: "If you're saying, I'm not disputing"

Panish said that on May 19, Michael was having a cyst removed at Dr. Klein's office, so he could not have been rehearsing with Payne.
Panish then said on Jun 22 MJ wasn't there either, "was he?"
Payne said he didn't know.
Panish said MJ was at another doctor's office
Payne said he may have made a mistake about Jackson's whereabouts & he didn't know his personal schedule. Travis Payne had testified yesterday that he and Jackson ran through certain songs on May 19th. He said today he was testifying based on the schedule and notes he compiled and that his recollection might be wrong

"We're human, sometimes we make mistakes," Payne explained, saying he's not disputing that Michael was or wasn't there on those dates.

Payne said there was always something for Michael to do.

"He needed to come to rehearsal, it was part of the job"

Payne said Michael had a hard time picking up some of the material. He was having trouble learning dances, Payne says. Email from Ortega to Gongaware:

"He has been slow at grabbing hold of the work"

Jackson was having trouble learning dances, choreographer Travis Payne says

"Prior to June, I noticed Mr. Jackson was thinner than I recognized him," Payne said, noting he never saw sudden weight change in MJ.

Second time Payne saw Dr. Murray was the night before Michael died at Staples Center.

"I wanted Michael to go home and go to sleep" Payne recalls. Payne said something about Murray felt off, Payne said. "He didn't feel like an official doctor"

Payne knew MJ had sleeping problems and that Dr. Murray was treating him for that. Ortega also knew; Payne thought Gongaware was aware too. Payne also said he and Ortega knew that Jackson was having sleep problems. Attorney Brian Panish asks if AEG executives knew. There were several objections, and Payne was only allowed to answer "No" as to whether Paul Gongaware knew about Michael's sleep problems
Panish asked Payne about choosing Jackson's dancers for This Is It. Payne says they were whittled down from 5,000 applicants. Applicants submitted video clips and their submissions were used to cull down potential dancers from there. Payne said they received 5,000 applications for dancers, about 2,500 showed up for the audition.He taught them some dance moves, and the pool was further narrowed down. Michael chose the dancers
Panish then asked Payne whether he knew how many doctors AEG interviewed to work with Jackson on This Is It. "No", Payne says. Payne also says he isn't aware how much interviewing or investigation into Murray that AEG did.(Panish's point appears to be that there was more scrutiny of backup dancers than Conrad Murray)
During preparations for This Is It, Michael at times seemed "under the influence of something" and once couldn't take the stage because he appeared incoherent, Payne testified.
Payne said he was aware that Jackson had problems sleeping and chalked up the singer's sometimes erratic behavior to sleep aids or sedatives from his dermatologist visits.

"You have to understand that one always says hindsight is 20/20. In the moment I had no inkling of what, ultimately, what was revealed until Mr. Jackson's passing", he said

Payne saw Michael tired and fatigued. He agreed that those symptoms could be signs of drug addiction. Payne was aware that MJ was losing weight during rehearsals and he had not seeing him lose weight like that before.

"He was not in great physical shape and was sore,working up his stamina. Lack of sleep and proper nourishment were starting to show", Payne said.

Payne says at one point, he told Kenny Ortega that Jackson appeared "assisted" (meaning that he thought he was on drugs\meds)
Payne said some people were concerned about the goals not being met, including Randy Phillips and Paul Gongaware. Payne learned what Demerol was after MJ died. He also remembers a mention of Demerol in the song "Morphine".
Panish asked if MJ knew the lyrics of his songs.

"I think he did, he knew most of them, but he wanted to have a Teleprompter for safety.He didn't want to make any mistakes, to refresh his memory. Also to use for sequence of songs",Payne said.

Payne agreed that it was very unusual for Michael to have a Teleprompter with the lyrics of his own songs. He never used it before. Payne didn't specify which songs Jackson wanted the teleprompter for
Payne said a body double was requested for Michael. Misha Gabriel was his body double, but shorter than him. Some of the scenes in the documentary are with the body double, Payne testified. Payne remembers at the Culver Studios in Smooth Criminal there was a stunt and Misha was asked to jump through a glass plate
Payne said most the time, MJ was present at rehearsals. "It wasn't a big deal," he expressed
Panish showed an email from the band leader Michael Bearden:

"Michael is not in shape enough yet to sing this stuff live and dance at the same time. He can use the ballads to sing live and get his stamina back up, Once he's healthy enough and has more strength I Have full confidence he can sing the majority of the show live. His voice sounds amazing right now, he needs to build it back up. I still need all big dance numbers to be in the system so we can concentrate on choreography."

Payne was aware that AEG was considering in mid June pulling the plug on the show. He said Michael looked exhausted & paranoid on Jun 19. Jackson's condition and missed rehearsals led to talk within the last 10 days of Jackson's life that AEG Live LLC, which was promoting "This Is It," might cancel the concert series.

"It was 'We've got to get this together or the plug may be pulled,'" Payne says

Payne was working for AEG and said he relayed his concerns about Jackson's possible prescription drug use and that he was exhibiting troubling signs of insomnia, weight loss and paranoia in his final days to tour director Kenny Ortega. Jackson was struggling to get into shape for the shows, and Payne said his voice coach suggested using a voice track for fast-paced songs until the singer's stamina improved.
Payne went to Michael's house on June 20. He was cold and had to light the fireplace and rub his hand and feet to warm himself up
Panish showed a picture of Michael on June 24 rehearsing "Thriller"; Payne said MJ improved but was not at his best yet.

Panish: "Around June 20, was Ortega in the mindset that Michael Jackson was not ready for this?" Payne: "Yes"

Payne said Michael was not ready, it was not the Michael he knew. He died four days later. But he didn't see anything that alarmed him on June 23/24

Panish:" Did you see that Michael was getting pressured to get everything done in the last days?" Payne: "Yes"

Payne said he could sense something was wrong, but didn't know what it was. He said Jackson's performances in the final days of his life were impressive, and it felt

"like we were definitely on an upswing"

​

"I never doubted Michael because he was the architect of this and he wanted to do it, so part of my responsibility was to help him get there", Payne said, his voice racked with emotion.

Panish ended his direct examination of choreographer Travis Payne with three questions.

Panish: "Did you see that Michael Jackson appeared to be pressured to get everything done at the Staples last rehearsals?"
"Yes," Payne said
Panish: "The pressure about the shows started to manifest itself physically in Michael Jackson?"
"Yes," Payne replied.
Panish:" You could sense that something was wrong, you just didn't know what it was?"
Payne responded "Yes."

AEG re-direct
Payne's demeanor changed after Panish finished questioning him. He was holding back tears when the AEG attorney started re-direct examination. For the next several moments, Payne blinked and dabbed both eyes with a tissue. It was the first time he'd gotten emotional on the stand.

Bina in re-direct asked: "Do you think you could get him there?"
Payne: "Absolutely!"

Bina asked Payne again about how many rehearsals Jackson attended. Payne said MJ was present a significant amount of the days he was scheduled to work but he couldn't recall dates, precisely how many that Jackson attended.
As to Gongaware's email regarding what was expected of Dr. Murray, Payne said the inconsistencies with Michael missing rehearsals warrant a talk. Payne said he thought Dr. Murray was there to care for his patient, making sure right nutritionist was there, to get him ready for the show. Payne never discussed with MJ about his doctors or personal affairs. Payne and Faye were professionals with each other, but not friends.

"Production felt he wasn't coming to rehearsals enough, and that was frustrating to some of the staff," Payne testified. "I had a concern we needed to create a show Michael would enjoy doing it," Payne explained

She also showed Payne photos from the This Is It premiere. First photo is of Payne shaking Jermaine Jackson's hand at the movie premiere. Bina also showed another image of smiling Jermaine, Tito, Jackie and Marlon with Payne at the premiere. Payne cried saying he had been through so much and the rough part was behind them. He was pleased to show the fans what the show was to be.
Jackson re-cross
In re-cross, Panish notes that none of Michael's brothers are part of this lawsuit.
Panish then asked Payne whether Katherine Jackson and Michael's kids went to the premiere. Panish says Katherine Jackson & her grandchildren didn't go to the premiere because they weren't over Jackson's death. Payne said he didn't think anyone was over Jackson's death when the film premiered in late 2009.
Court Transcript

So I (32m) have been married to my wife (31f) for 14 years, 7 months, and 11 days. We've had our rough patches in the past. Before I deployed she threw her wedding ring at me 3 times saying she was done. She saw a snapchat with a girls name on it, and immediately assumed I was cheating. In all sincerity that girl was a classmate and we exchanged notes that way, plus the occasional how are you regular stuff. My wife decided it was time for a divorce so she packed up and left. Told me to sell the house and split the profits, which I did. I go on deployment the whole time maintaining constant contact with her and the kids (3 of them). The whole time. She used this time to build a connection with a coworker and have sex at work in the back room. Then she connected emotionally with another guy and slept with him 3 or 4 times according to her. Finally there was a one night stand with someone that I don't know about. She never told me about any of this. When I got back we decided to make things work and focus on us. Fast forward to a few weeks ago, we were going on our weekly date and I see a guys name on her phone as I'm driving. She quickly tilted the phone so that I couldn't see the messages. I thinking there was no way she was cheating on me, assumed this was a coworker friend. Two nights ago I cooked dinner for the family. After finishing up, she asked if I wanted ice cream to which I said yes. She doordashed it, and asked me to pick what I wanted using her phone while she went to the bathroom. I had an inkling to check her messages which I did end up doing. Here is the same guy who had been messaging her in the car. They had planned to go hiking together, he called her his favorite person, and then she sent emojis which included the finger in the hole. I gave her her phone back and calmly asked how long she had been cheating on me. She denied doing anything and asked where this was coming from. I told her about the messages and she was defensive about me looking through her phone. She later admitted after hours of arguing, that this is a coworker whom she flirted with at her old job while I was deployed. They had been messaging and suddenly became flirty again. She said he was the only guy she's ever talked to like that. She decided to leave the kids at home and send me vague messages insinuating she was going to hurt herself. She has done this in the past to the point where she was hospitalized for a week. She drove up the mountain and I followed her to make sure it wasn't a real threat to hurt herself. She promised me she wouldn't do anything so I drove back home to be with the kids. I had to calm down and took a bath. She snuck inside the house and put one of my guns on my bed saying she left it there. I went looking for her but she went to her dad's house to spend the night due to being ashamed of her actions. That was three days ago. Yesterday I decided to read her journal to see how long it had been going on. And boom, I discovered there was another guy whom she "fell in love with after 3 days". This was the guy she slept with multiple times. She came clean about all 3 guys she slept with during our break time. So I asked to see her phone and she allowed me to look at it. Then I found out she had a reddit account where she would post nudes and message guys. The guys would send NSFW pics back and they would sext. She claims it was only attention seeking behavior, but I found out she had a full on conversation with a guy whom she gave her snapchat to. They exchanged pics and would sext back and forth. She swears up and down she will never do anything like this again. My question to the community: what do I do? I love her to death and have spent a good majority of my life with her. I just don't know what to do. Sorry for the long explanation, please help.
TLDR; My wife of 14 years cheated on me during a separation but continued those relationships as friendships. She then posted nudes online and chatted with guys. Do I continue the marriage?

I’ve posted here before, and since i gave very little information, i got attacked and i was told im the problem.
Well here’s the whole story.
My mother in law is a very dominant person in nature, she always wanted everything under her control, keep in mind i’m from india while reading this.
(APRIL 2023)engagement saree: in my culture, the husband’s family buy the engagement saree, since we’re not in 540 BC most of the families nowadays let the bride choose her favourite, but my mother in law chose the saree, since she had a gold and pink themed engagement in her mind, i actually liked the saree and i said yes. She didn’t let me choose the makeup artist, she booked one already for me, and even paid her in advance. somehow everything went well and i liked the outcome. i never had any rift with her, i really liked her.
after the engagement my husband and i went on a lunch date, she saw me and pat on my belly and said i should lose fat, bitch? i’m nowhere near fat, it was something like periods belly
My wedding was in august 2023. between april and august, this is where i see her true colours. Meantime she became close with her son’s best friend ( who is actually his gf but he brought her home saying she’s just a friend and the girl(let’s call her kat) was trying so hard to win her)

1. around may, i was asked to come to her city because my mil and kat booked a dance workshop, my mil thought i wouldn’t dance well, im a dancer since school days and i never told anyone, at the workshop i danced so well but my mil never complimented me, she was only complimenting kat. 😭
2. around june, mil randomly calls me and tells me that she bought a outfit for my pre wedding ceremonies ( haldi and cocktail) i was like ??? um without ny presence, she kept saying that it’s so pretty and i’ll love it. since my engagement saree pretty and she chose it, i thought maybe she wouldn’t do something bad
3. when i saw the haldi outfit, it was literally a disaster, the neck was deep, the shoulders were falling off, it was ugly overall. my cocktail outfit she chose looked like something grandmas would wear on funeral.
4. somehow i made last minute changes and changed my cocktail outfit, still wasn’t the best.
5. what made me upset was, my mil and kats outfit were the best in the ceremony, idk why she chose the ugliest one for me and chose the best one for me, it really gave me a bad feeling about this woman.
6. i told my husband but he didn’t pay much attention to this, he said it’s after all a dress, also since he was in a different country, he wasn’t able to do anything much.
7. on the day of my morning wedding ceremony , she insisted that she’ll keep my accessories safely and somehow lost them.
8. for the evening ceremony, she crinkled my dress and said no one would notice.

my biggest question is “will she be okay if it was her outfit or her accessories”. i hated my wedding pictures, i get anxious everytime i see them, everytime i tell my husband, he gets mad that im always complaining about his mom, but no one sees that i got hurt
after the wedding: mostly in indian cultures , the daughter in law has to live with the husbands family. i absolutely hated every minute of it, they criticised the shit outta me.
to my surprise, my mother in law and father in law live seperately in the same area, their houses are 8 mins away from each other.
in my mother in laws house, there’s this new guy ( whom my husband and BIL calls uncle) this uncle(43years old) is an un married, alcoholic guy who passes shit comments about random women. body shames woman while watching a tv show, or when we go out. i hated his behaviour.
you might think this guy is my mil’s own brother, or a cousin or somehow a relative. none of it. he’s just a random someone who’s living full time in this house.
i wouldn’t have given a fuck if no one bothered me. but this uncle mocks me everytime i dress up, do my makeup. when he sees me cooking and he criticises me. when he sees me doing anything in the world, he criticises me. mocks me , my mil , bil and this bastard laugh together.
i felt kinda off since she’s keeping this as a secret from her husband, my fil doesn’t know he’s staying with her full time, for my mils bday this uncle got her a diamond ring , which she hid from her husband, she showed the gifts from me, her sons and her mom but hid the gift from uncle.
he got her a dyson ( which is whole another story, i told my husband i wanted dyson for my birthday, i also mentioned the color blue since it’s available in india, i guess my husband has the habit of telling her everything, just before my bday she went and bought the blue dyson air wrap) and didn’t even tell my husband / her husband. l randomly spilled it to my husband since she wanted it to be a secret. i did it intentionally.
one random day i was checking pinterest i check the messages where i saw a old message i sent to her profile , like a hi or something.. i went to her profile, i saw a board where she saved all the quotes like “you stroke me in places where my hands cannot reach” all such sexy quotes, she also has another board where she saved good morning pics that she usually sends to me and my family.
at this point im only speculating, i cannot let a random outsider mock me, also my fil is a very good person, keeping things from him and forcing me to act accordingly is also annoying to me
she’s always been all about appearances, my father in law is shorter than her, kinda fat. also looks old but he’s very rich. maybe that’s why i’m saying she all about appearances because she only talks to people who look pretty, in my wedding , people from my dads side kinda don’t dress well but they’re good people, she didn’t even wanna shake hands or smile at them when i introduced her to my family. one of my friends was kinda fat and dark, she didn’t even talk to her but she went and took pictures with my other two friends who looked slim and fair.
one time she introduced me to her zumba class friends as “sisters daughter” and without any shame asks me to call her mom since we met. i will never call her mom.
one time it got so much i couldn’t handle and i called my husband and cried about it, my mother in law said they were all just joking and i took everything seriously.
i cannot understand how a literal outsider was given so much power to hurt their daughter in law, and when confronted they support him. he once mocked me for my makeup and i didn’t even respond to him, he texted me saying “hope ur not upset, i did just for fun” this is not a apology
on top of it so many times my mil has come in between me and my husband, since me and my husband are doing a long distance relationship, he comes to india for 2 weeks breaks, ever since we got married in august, we’ve only spend 56 days together. so this time due to olympics he’s getting one month off and we planned a japan trip. my mil immediately said she would also join and said we can go to dubai.
i had to explain my husband how this is not okay since we only had 56 days together and having a family trip is not okay, he somehow explained her and changed the plan to bali. but she was still upset.
even while we’re planning the trip, she asks my husband to send the itinerary, wants to know every detail from the hotel we’re staying to places we’re gonna go
the list goes on, i’ll edit things when something pops up in my head, i got so exhausted from just typing out few things that happened in a span of 8 months
also my husband and i are waiting for the visa, im giving this marriage one last chance, im hoping things will be better if i live alone with him.

It's a little hyperbolic to say I have no one to talk to, but my supportive social resources are limited. I have amazing best friends. Both have husbands & children and work pretty "normal" adult schedules. I can talk to one of them about once a month and the other a few good times a year. I talk to an EAP counselor once a month to help me digest everything I process on my own time. I have Taylor Swift, lol. I tried talking to my mom, but found that I leave those interactions feeling worse than before.
In the span of 5 months, I've gotten a new job, got divorced, bought a new house, and realized that being single in my new job means my free time is limited and I am lonely.
My dad has told me in the past how much he "fucking hates it" when I cry. So I don't talk to him. My stepmom is a hateful, racist, chain smoking woman. I'll not be talking to her.
I tried opening up to my mom from the start because we're so similar. From the time I announced the divorce to her, any time I try to tell her how I'm feeling/what I'm working through, she tells me how bad her own life is.
Just one example, I tried to tell her that I'm gone from home 12 hours a day some days, often without having a real conversation with a person. Then I come home alone with more work to do with my house, like painting the walls so I can hang my pictures and get them off the floor. She told me how she's never in her life painted her walls and that some days she doesn't have any time to herself until after 10pm when she's ready for bed. Like.... okay? I guess I'm a spoiled brat for not wanting to live with a color I didn't like all around me. I'd love to have someone else to give my time to, mom. That's what I'm trying to tell you, and you're not listening.
My cousin told me I could open up to her, then left me on read when I did.
The only person I can talk to for the support I need right now is my ex-husband. He knows how awful my family is, and he tries his best to understand when I need to talk to someone. But I can't make this man keep listening to me and being there for me. It's not fair to either of us.
I want so badly to have someone close to me in my life that I can be soft with and they'll just tell me that it sucks, but it's going to be okay. I'm tired from everything in life, I don't have the energy to self-soothe all the time.
Anyway, this just seemed like the right place to air my frustrations into the wind. A journal entry doesn't seem like enough lately, and I don't meet with the counselor until next week.

Our wedding was planned today. To day I would have been getting married to the man I loved and had been in a relationship with 7 years. Now I'm sitting here clearing wedding purchases and announcing a cut off.
Last evening my husband and his group of friends had a bachelor party. I received a video call from him to find myself staring at all of them having sex with the busty like ladies. My husband turned the camera towards himself and asked me to say hi to his partner. I didn't know what to do. For a moment I was confused. I cut the call and called my sister.
The wedding was immediately cut off. I received a couple of messages from his friends and saying they just wanted to have fun. My ex fiancee told me he wanted to enjoy before a life long of commitment.
7 years i spent with this man, only for this to happen. I imagined having kids with him, having pets with him, taking care of him, going to family trips, dropping our kids to school, so much. I feel so lost now. 7 years into the drain. And i'll never see him after this. This sense of confusion is still clouding me. Its hard to believe I was cheated on. That video call is haunting me. He showed his inserted part in her. Through the call. I feel disgusted by the fact that I used to have sex with him. I had gone to return the wedding dress. I don't know what to do or how to feel. A part of me says that I should be grateful i don't have kids with him.

First
Previous
Sorry for the delay in getting this part out; been away visiting family so not had much time to put fingers to keyboard, plus I managed to have my phone stolen by a roller coaster and it took a white to get it replaced and be able to get into a few things - stupid two factor authentication! Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
+++++++++++++++++++
Y’Lek and K’Rim slowed their mad dash as they neared the armoury; there was no telling whether the Swarm agents had left any traps for them and the armoury was full of extremely energy dense materials and weapons which could potentially jeopardise the structure of the ship if employed in the right way. Grabbing some handy footholds they stopped and considered the imposing door in front of them.
After a few moments of effort K’Rim had eased off the casement off the door’s locking mechanism but could detect nothing amiss with the crystalline structure beneath. Bypassing the outer interface she placed a grasper to the innards and a small spark of bioelectric energy jumped into the crystal which glowed briefly as the uniquely patterned waveform was parsed and compared with the patterns of those permitted access. The door slid aside as they were granted entry with no unwanted surprises being triggered.
With a relieved chitter Y’Lek started inside only to be pulled back sharply as K’Rim pulled on his leg.
“Stop. Just because the door opens, doesn’t mean that it is safe.” K’Rim warned as she pulled a small disc out of one of her utility pouches. Snapping it easily she gently tossed it through the doorway after slowly counting out a grasper of seconds. The exothermic reaction had reached the point where the disc glowed fitfully in the infrared, while it emitted a clear UV light. K’Rim watched it carefully and her antennae twitched with the effort of picking up any slight sound.
The glow-disc struck some of the lockers which filled the armoury and ricocheted off around the room but nothing seemed to react to the heat and movement.
With a decisive clack of her mandibles K’Rim pulled herself through the doorway and into the armoury. Y’Lek followed close on her tarsus. It was immediately obvious that several sets of warrior equipment had been removed, along with copious numbers of weapons.
Y’Lek was surprised when K’Rim didn’t make for the remaining warrior gear but instead to the emergency pressure suits. Seeing the confused tilt of his head K’Rim explained “Although the room appears safe, we don’t know what they may have done while they were here but it is safe to assume that they would have ensured any of the most dangerous equipment could not be used against them.”
She passed a bundled pressure suit to Y’Lek and continued “The emergency gear and non-powered weapons are the least likely to have been tampered with and have the least amount of capacity for harming us even if they have been so we will have to make do with them until we can thoroughly check the rest of the equipment.”
Y’Lek thought for a moment before bobbing in agreement and starting to pull on the pressure suit, careful to sheath his claws with the hardened “gauntlets” integral to the suit before powering up the spiracle gas exchangers and carefully sealing them in place against his thorax. “Yes, I can see the risk now. Though it will potentially leave us vulnerable, it is better to be certain of our equipment than to die of over confidence.”
The emergency pressure suit came together quickly, living up to its name and the pair were quickly sealed against the cold, dry, and slightly strange tasting air that the aliens had been pumping into the Far Flung Seed and supplying them with a more familiar and moister mixture.
K’Rim passed him a set of the ceremonial but still functional weapons and the harness to hold them. They wouldn’t hold up long against a fusion blade or a particle lance but they were durable enough to give them a chance and were completely inert so could not have been sabotaged.
Only a couple of minutes after entering the armoury they swam back out into the corridor and sped off towards the arboretum.
+++++++++++++++++++
Smithy quickly sprayed a fluorescent marking on the uneven and root covered tunnel junction to identify which way they had come from. “How can such a small ship have so many damn tunnels?” he growled to himself.
“It’s not the size of the ship, it’s what you do with it that matters” quipped Hall.
“Yeah? Well, apparently in this case it was fill it with bloody tunnels.” deadpanned Smithy in response.
“Can it.” broke in Stroud before anyone else could get involved “You can discuss the relative merits of alien design philosophy on your own time; for now you need to focus.”
A chorus of “Sergeant” came back over the radio and the remainder of Delta and Echo buckled down and continued sweeping what even Stroud was prepared to admit was a seemingly endless series of tunnels with apparently zero overarching logic to their layout. Up until a few minutes ago they had been getting directional updates from some supposedly friendly ET’s in the control room but apparently they had suddenly just buggered off so now they were picking junctions that appeared to take them in the vague direction that had been indicated to them.
Stroud again cursed the fact that the maintenance drones brought by the initial engineering team hadn't been able to access this part of the ship and map it due to the tightly sealed blast doors that had protected the forest from the vacuum. Who could have imagined that there would have been so much structure hidden underneath and between the normal corridors and rooms? The three dimensional map they had been creating as they advanced was like something Jackson Pollock and H R Giger might have come up with on an acid trip.
They approached another intersection and slowed. After a quick glance between them, Mears and Jackson moved forward, taking cover behind Mears’ shield. They crept up to the junction and Jackson poked the muzzle of his shotgun, and its camera into the ragged space beyond. The feed showed several small tunnels radiating off at all angles, way too small for any of them to fit down. One navigable tunnel appeared to curve off back in the direction they came from, while another looked like it might go the right way.
Suddenly the camera and the end third of Jackson’s gun disintegrated into a cloud of superheated vapour, shards of glowing metal and smoking composites. With a scream Jackson jumped back, the outer weave on the gauntlet of his left hand shredded and smouldering. In a stunning display of muscle memory he ejected the internal magazine and disconnected the weapon from the backpack feed almost before his mind had caught up with what was going on.
Hands grabbed him as he was yanked further back into the corridor. He flung the remains of his shotgun down and it clattered and bounced down the tunnel in the vague direction of the junction. Jackson was conscious of Mears backing up towards him, shield held protectively to block as much of the tunnel as possible, while Smithy grabbed his forearm and inspected his hand. Stroud stepped over him and took up guard on Mears’ shoulder, weapon trained forward and sweeping what could be seen of the slightly larger space beyond this section of the tunnel.
Another “FOOOM!” as the tumbling wreckage of the shotgun was vaporised as it spun across the opening of the tunnel.
“Fuuuuuuuck me!” said Jackson, at last able to form words as the adrenaline induced tunnel vision started to clear.
“Well, how about you start by showing me whether you can still use your fingers and we can take it from there, eh?” Smithy said from where he was turning his hand from prone to supine again. “Looks like the inner layer of your glove is intact but both Simmonds and Jones complained of numbness after being hit. How’re you feeling?”
Jackson gingerly flexed his fingers and made a fist a few times but grunted as he felt the tips of his fingers tingle where they pressed into the material of his gloves “Feels weird - tingly like I sat on my hand or something.”
Smithy grunted to acknowledge this “OK, well shout out if it gets any worse; got it?”
He pulled Jackson to his feet and slapped him on the shoulder before they both turned back to face down the tunnel again. Jackson surreptitiously flexed his hand a few more times as he pulled out his sidearm and secured its retaining strap to his right wrist. He wasn’t too hopeful that the small pistol would be able to do too much against the ET’s, but it was better than walking around with nothing.
Stroud backed away from the junction where he had been very gingerly checking all the passageways with a camera barely poking out from the mouth of the tunnel they were in.
He stood up and turned to the security team “Ok, looks like there is something stuffed into one of the narrow tunnels - kind of like those shoulder guns the ET’s have, along with a stand and power supply. My guess is it has some kind of automated fire mode and decided that it really didn’t like Jackson’s gun waving around in front of it. Question is, how are we going to get rid of it? We can’t leave it behind in case we need to come back this way in a hurry.”
“I guess it will probably shoot anything we throw at it so grenades are out?” mused Mears
There followed a number of suggestions and comments.
“Can we get an angle on it and just shoot it?”
“How about we let Jackson distract it some more while the rest of us blow it away?”
“We need to avoid the power pack if the two dead ET’s from the corridor are anything to go by.”
Stroud listened for a minute before cutting the chatter short. “Ok, so I think our best bet is to use the ballistic shield to bait it, while someone else blows the top off it from the other side of the tunnel; Mears you and Jackson handle the shield; keep a tight hold on it as those shots release a lot of energy when they hit. Smithy - I’ve marked its location so you hug the other side of the tunnel and draw a bead on it. Wait for it to hit the shield before popping out and taking your shot; and for the love of all that you hold dear do it fast, Ok?”
The team nodded in agreement.
“I will be there to pull Smithy back as soon as he has popped out of cover, just in case.” concluded Stroud before ushering them to their positions. After a few moments of shuffling around each other in the tight space they were ready.
Smithy led the countdown. “Ready. Steady. Go!” Instantly Mears and Jackson shoved a third of the ballistic shield out into the corridor and planted themselves on top of the section remaining in the corridor only a moment ahead of a bright flash and the shield heaving under the impact.
Seemingly almost simultaneously Smithy leaned out and fired, the boom of his shotgun mingling with the “foom!” of the vaporising surface of the shield. Stroud almost bodily lifted him as he pulled him back from the edge.
For a second they were still as they sprawled around the opening.
“A good hit!” called Stroud as he reviewed the few frames of footage from Smithy’s gun camera between jumping out and back in again.
Mears stood up and inspected the sorry remains of his ballistic shield, now missing most of the top edge. “Great, well I hope there aren’t too many more of those hidden around as I’m running out of shield.”
+++++++++++++++++++
N’Dar’s antennae quivered inside his protective suit. That last series of weapons fire had been far too close for comfort and he still had two more locking systems to bypass. With a furious click of his mandibles he redoubled his efforts, running his bioelectric patterns through a series of filters, amplifiers and other signal processing systems to trick the door into thinking he had a right to open it.
The rot take the claw that had been delaying the aliens! He was supposed to have more time than this!
Next

I didn't think I would be making an update so soon, but my mother is unrelenting.
To the people that were so kind and gave me advice earlier, thank you so much. It really helps to have people show kindness in difficult days. I follow with the advice to freeze my credit and I will be getting a new phone for personal use. Will have to keep my old phone for work for a little.
Now to update on the situation: We are going through with pressing charges and might do a civil lawsuit for two years of child support my mother owns. We are not sure yet of our chances on it, but my brother San wants to go scorch earth.
As for my mother, she began a new campaign. She's been posting about me false accussing my step-brother Chris of SA. She's been accussing me of being a 'temptress that tried for years to sleep with my brother' and even got a few relatives, who I just found out are my aunts, to join in saying they were witnesses. I never met these women in my life.
My step-father actually commented in her post saying my mom was lying and accussing his own son of being a p*do. That's how I found out what was the big fallout between them. Step-brother went after one of Step-father's nieces. I don't know the girl's age, but she has to be about my age if I'm thinking of the right person. If not, she's younger than me.
A lot of my biological father's relatives have also gone into social media to call out my mother, saying she had always claimed she was an orphan and had no family, while now she has three sisters.
It's a mess, I'm just watching for now and being a stay-at-home aunt. My nephews love it since we go out after they finish homework for crazy shenanigans. My boss has helped me with some paperwork for leave of absence and I should be off for about 6 weeks. After I'll be mostly working from home for a few weeks.
Not the greatest update, and to be sincere things are not fun. But its nice to spend time with the kiddos at least.

It wasn’t consensual. Either way. Originally he told me it was when I posted yesterday. but he came to me last night and said he didn’t deserve my support, he said he was just as bad.
She was his aunt, they were the same age. She spent his whole childhood touching him inappropriately in his sleep anytime she would come over, he wouldn’t react, he’d just freeze up and pretend to be asleep until she was done with him.
On his 19th birthday, she came over and brought alcohol. Everyone at the party drank, he drank a bit too much but managed to pass out in his bed. When he woke up she was fully on top of him, he said when he realized who it was he wanted to cry but couldn’t, he tried to get up but she just put a blanket over his face and didn’t stop until she was done with him. When she was gone he thought about what just happened and managed to go back to sleep.
Every birthday, she started doing it to him. He’d drink and wake up to her doing this to him, outside of what she was doing to him they had a regular family relationship. Eventually he got a lock on his door so when she would come over he would lock himself in his room away from her, he told me the first night he realized something bad wasn’t happening to him he didn’t even sleep, he felt so happy.
So Everytime she would come over he would go to bed, with his door locked and he was safe. He also started drinking less, he was always told to drink more by her, he was an alcoholic at the time. But he started filling his shot glass with water. She would get too drunk and she would pass out before him. He would go to bed safe.
One day she brought over her boyfriend and he treated her very good, he bought her expensive things and gave her love and affection. She mentioned how she tried anal but she didn’t like it so her boyfriend didn’t pressure her into it again. This made my boyfriend angry, he hated that she got an option, she got to say what she wanted, she got to say no but she never gave him that choice.
That night they drank, he went to his room, locked the door and thought about how lucky she was. She didn’t have anything bad happening to her, she had a choice so why did he deserve this? He left his room. He kicked her lightly and she didn’t wake up, he tapped her face lightly, she didn’t wake up, he splashed water in her face, she didn’t wake up. So he sat there for a long time but eventually did what she had been doing to him all these years. He would yell at her as he did it, telling her that he didn’t deserve that, that he trusted her and she ruined his childhood, he would ask her how she liked it, and he would tell her that he was just glad it finally wasn’t him, that now it was her. but of course she wouldn’t wake up to answer. He would finish and come back minutes later to do it again, he’d yell at her every single time, sometimes he would cry.
So that’s how it was now, she would come over, he would be safe from her. She wouldn’t hurt him. They would drink, he would fake his shots, they would go to bed. Sometimes he would just lock himself in his room and do nothing, he was just happy it wasn’t him, she wasn’t hurting him anymore. But sometimes he would do what she did to him. Every time he would yell at her and say all the things he wanted to say to her.
He explained that he felt like she deserved it, that even if he told anyone she wouldn’t go to jail, she would get away with it, he explained that jail was better than how she made him feel, he had to live with the fear and trauma everyday.
It reminded me of this time he and I drank, we had a bath together, he drank too much and started crying, he wouldn’t tell me why. But I got him out of the bath and put him to bed, he never put his clothes on and just fell asleep like that. When he woke up and realized he wasn’t wearing anything I remember the way he looked at me, he looked like he wanted to cry, he asked if I touched him and I told him I didn’t. He looked relieved when I told him that, but the way he looked, the horror and sadness on his face, I’ll never forget that. Now it makes sense, I asked him about it and he said he just had a mini memory and sorta forgot who he was really with.
When she passed away after an OD it hit him hard, he told me it felt like a trauma relief but he was so devastated that she would never apologize for what she did to him. He felt like he never got closure.
I was also r-worded when I was younger, I remember hoping that the person who did it to me would experience the same thing. In a weird way I understand how he felt and oddly enough I don’t blame him because I understand how it felt. But how do we move on from this?
TLDR: my boyfriend’s family member r-worded him, he did it back as he got older.

My sister Emily (33f) married a widower just under 2 years ago. His first wife had been gone for 3 years when they got married. Her stepkids are Caine (11m) and Kaia (10f). Last year on Mother's Day Emily was in the hospital recovering from major surgery. She had undergone a complete hysterectomy due to some medical issues and an extremely high cancer risk. So it was devastating for her because she always wanted to have biological children. She loves her stepkids and even before this she was trying to be a second mom to the children but weren't warming up to her fast and Emily was upset about that already. She told me it was extra devastating knowing she wouldn't have biological children. She told me she was going to do everything she could to win their hearts.
I'll be honest, it hasn't been going good. Emily is no closer to Caine or Kaia and Emily told me the kids even deny she's part of their family to other people and that it hurt her. So when she told me that she was being celebrated on Mother's Day this year and she was getting gifts and cards from the kids I was a little surprised.
On Sunday the kids are visibly angry when they arrived at my parents house. BIL kept whispering to them and they were glaring at him. Emily looked so excited though. When we sat down for lunch my BIL gave Emily handmade cards and the kids flipped out and snatched them out of Emily's hands before she could even open them. They started yelling that those were for their mom and not Emily. Emily asked them about cards for her and they said they got her nothing. She asked why make the cards for their late mother and not her. BIL chimed in and said he had some for her. The kids asked why and BIL said because Emily does so much for them and she's taken over as mom. Emily added in after him that she couldn't be luckier with the kids she got either. The kids anger got much worse and they started singing/chanting that she's not their mom, they don't want her, they don't love her, they don't care about her and it was repeated over and over again. Emily was crying. BIL was comforting her and I suggested to him that maybe he could take the kids home. My parents were comforting Emily and BIL did in fact take the kids home.
It was several hours after and my parents were calling the kids evil, nasty, disgusting, little shits, rotten, saying they should be put in an old school orphanage where nobody wants them. Just all kinds of awful things. And I know the kids hurt Emily and acted out badly. But I don't think being so awful about literal children is good. I told them as much. Emily told me they were just defending her. I told her that their comments about the kids won't help her or fix things for her. My parents said I should hate the kids just as much as they do for what they did to my sister. And the fact I spoke up is still bothering them because I got texts from them and Emily about it afterward.
AITA?

Hello everyone, I am now 5 weeks pregnant and this was me and my husband's decision to be parent. I am still studying and financially I am not strong too. I am too scared about my career and the care, parenting my child would get. And now, we have started to argue often, feel like we both want the baby but scared of the consequences of having baby as per our thought like, less love to each other, financial crisis, career... and I am also worried that if I am hurting the baby by overthinking or I don't know. Moreover, I expect him to treat me like princess and keep me happy so that our baby will also be happy, but he doesn't seem to care much and I doubt if he will be a good parent. I feel like he will be, but I don't know, M worried.

It's been 15 days since we broke up, neither of us wanted to go no contact so we keep talking to each other , i love him so much that it physically hurts and he loves me but I don't understand why he broke up with me , he just said that long distance isn't working, relationship rn for him was adding to his already overloaded plate and that i saw him , so i knew it was the case. The constant communication between us is nice , because i am still the person he wants to speak to and misses , and I try to not let my hopes up.
Everytime we talk now he complains about the miserable life and depression and anxiety, i am someone who just got out of this cycle and i know how important it is to seek help , he just keeps saying he'll get help but he doesn't, I do not want to imagine a life without him , i really just need him , he's my person , i am crying as i write this and i am exhausted.

I’m looking for some advice. I was seeing a guy for a few months however 2 weeks ago at the weekend, things got intense as we were processing to the boyfriend/girlfriend stage and he called things off. I gave him space but stupidly reached out to him in a moment of panic. We talked for a while, said he missed me and we agreed to keep things light in conversation. Unfortunately the next day I asked him a deep question (couldn’t help myself) and then he said we shouldn’t message anymore and blocked me.
Before all of this, he was saying how much he really liked me, we had such a good connection and that he could feel himself falling in love with me. It’s all so confusing. Everything was there for us, apart from the fact that he tends to cut things off in difficult areas of his life whereas I see a problem and try to find a solution.
My question is, have I pushed too hard? Do avoidants eventually unblock once they’ve had time to cool down?

my half brother was always pressuring me to do things with him and i never knew about him n until a few years ago. he use to always ask me to be in a relationship with him and i made it VERY clear i do not want that it is very wrong and he saw me cry from it feom the amount of disresss he brought to me and he said ‘dont worry i wont do it again ill stop asking u ans i’ll treat u like my sistet again’ not even a day later he keeps saying hes fallen in love with me and stilll asking to be with me countless times me saying no i do not want it, i eventually gave up and just went along ‘with being with him’ because i was tired of saying no and i went along with all the lies whatever he was saying to me i was just saying the same back although i did not meab it. this lasted for abt 6 months because i did not know how to stop thos and i had no one to trust who i could have told, it hurts so much bc everyday i had to lie to him about being with him ans when i got home i use to cry so much wishing it would stop.

I was going home from school when a stranger ran towards me and asked me for money saying his family needs it while showing me pictures.
It was a guy and well he was also a bit bigger than me and it made feel uneasy when he ran to me like that. It all happened so fast that I can't even recall how his face looked.
I first thought he was asking me for directions as he showed me his phone and on it was a picture of a text with a train name, location and station. He started telling me something that i didnt understand, but he mentioned money so i came to the conclusion that it is maybe for a ticket or something like that. Then he began showing me pictures of injured children and I must admit I did feel bad. It was one of the most common scams and instead of walking away I panicked and started telling him i can't give him anything and well as the title already suggests I did, but it wasn't much only around 7€.
In that moment I did believe him and felt really bad for him. I thought that maybe it was true. I wanted to help so I gave him a smaller amount of money at first. I told him that's the only amount I can give you. He kept insisting for me to check my other pockets. I declined multiple times , but in the end I gave in and gave him an amount that was about 5€. He was very adamant that I give him the bill.
I felt bad, but also cind of panicked and caught up in the moment. I didn't think it through. Just for context I am not a tall nor big person so that might have ben the reason I was targeted. I'm not a person that likes engaging with people I am not familiar with and that made it even worse. I was thinking that maybe I would get rid of him if I gave him some money. This time it worked and he went away, but all possible things could have happened. Only after getting rid of him did I realize how easy it was to make cash off of me. My sympathy towards others was used in such a way. I was close to crying.
I could have also been badly hurt or robbed. There are many people who reach for their purse to give money just for them to end up being hurt really badly.
I forgot to add at the beginning that this happened in a subway station in a city full of such people, but because I don't go out that much I never experienced something like this.
I see this as a lesson to just walk away and mind my business.
I just wanted to put this out there and get it out of my mind. I did talk to somebody and yes I got scolded for it.
I just now realized after typing all of this out how stupid and naive I sound. This could have been avoided if I just minded my business.
I am just hoping to hear other people's opinions on this and what I should do or improve in myself to not get caught up in something like this again...

• please excuse any misspellings and incorrect grammar