My version of episode 8
The episode starts with a flashback of yue.. she is a child who's playing with other children and finds an injured baby sea lion. She tries to heal it but it doesn't seem to get better. She takes the baby sea lion to the oasis and puts it in the scared water and tries to pray to ocean and moon spirit to heal her.. she hears the whispers "heal" and follows the instruction and uses healing ability to heal the sea lion and it helps.. her friends witness this and they tell their elders about this. Everyone realizes that yue is blessed with special healing abilities, and only she can heal something serious in the scared oasis hence she is hailed as the priestess of the northern water tribe.
We cut to the present and we see her walking with sokka in the hallways of the town hall talking about stuff like how she feels connection to every waterbender and how the full moon makes her feel more alive than ever.. she talks about mystical stuff such as spirits and spirit world and how some spirits are dangerous while some are essential for life. Sokka compliments her and tells her her blue eyes feels so bright and entrapping. As both come closer to each other surt falls on them.. sokka recognises the danger and says ' they will be here soon'.
We cut to katara secretly training in a cave with some young waterbenders.. they taught her some drills which strengthened her basics and she developed new techniques while she teaches them the moves she created on her own. Aang is there but he's busy amusing some of the children student and he's not a great waterbender himself. Katara shows concern to aang telling him he needs to learn and show some progress. Aang shows a worried look and agrees with her as they position themselves to began the training the snow falling outside the cave turns dark. Confused everyone steps out and sees the surt. while most of them are unaware, just like sokka katara recognises the incoming danger and takes aang back to agne quela. The chief gather everyone in the hall and tells them about the imminent war and asks for volunteers to enlist. Sokka stands up fast and moves forward to receive the mark of soldier while aang, katara and yue look with concern. Sokka tells them he needs to prove himself to be a real warrior and that will happen only when he tests himself in the battlefield. Aang and katara assures sokka he doesn't need to prove anything but he insists.
Scene cuts to fire nation navy ship scouting for any incoming danger in the fog and spots appa incoming, alerting the ship but it's no use as the trio of aang, sokka and katara easily defeat everyone and disable the ship and it's weapon, as they ride Appa out of it and reach the clear sky, they get the view or the entire fleet that's heading to the city.. they quickly retreat to the city and inform them, aang hopelessly falling on his knees and starts to profuesly apologise that he's sorry he's not prepared for this. The chief assures him his spirit along with ocean and moon spirit will ensure the victory of the tribe, no matter the cost.
Scene cuts to the ships of fire nation where Zhao discusses the attack plan with iroh. He tells him that the geographical challenges in invading the north pole are immense but they can be bypassed by using different ways of travel. Iroh looks with confusing so Zhao shows him the air balloon being prepared to which Iroh questions his motive. Zhao tells him in order to win this war he needs to disarm the water tribe, completely and it's entirely possible because there's only one entity in the world that carries the power of bending for all waterbender and it's the moon spirit. Iroh questions feasibility of this plan and how Zhao plans to find the spirit and kill and how killing it is possible. To which Zhao replies that he came across some scrolls that he found in the library that he found during his serving in desert and the guardian spirit went to spirit world so he scoured entire library looking for ways to weaken other nations but only found fire nation and water tribe weakness. He dismisses the fire nation weakness saying that it's important that information dies with him for the safety of fire nation but every full moon, the spirits dance in the reflections of sacred places. He reveals a dagger, which he retrieved from roku's temple that Roku has collected over his life. The dagger belonged to avatar kuruk and has special abilities to bypass any spiritual barrier and kill any spirit because it is made from the bone of a lion turtle. Kuruk crafted this weapon in order to fight the dark spirits and he needed a weapon that could kill any spirit without resistance. This worries Iroh and questions zhao's motives and the implications that would arise with the death of moon spirit. Zhao dismisses it but Iroh doesn't push his luck so he can join him and act when he needs to. The scene cuts to iron explaining zhao's plan to a masked soldier who unmasks himself to reveal an injured zuko who survived zhao's assassination attempt. Zuko feels alarmed by zhao's progress and informs Iroh that he'll leave the ships immediately and go to north pole as the ships get near. Iroh asks him his plan to which zuko gives vague answers, worrying Iroh.
Scene cuts to the wall of northern water tribe where there's dead silence and gust of winds blowing... The silence is unnerving but suddenly a fire ball appears through the fog and strikes the wall. The soldiers scatter with the attack but gather and try to contain the rain if fireball that is being sent by the catapults of the uncountable fire nation ships. Katara helps anyone she can and approaches pakku. She tells him that there's need for every pair of hands in order for them to defend their home, he can carry on with his traditions later but now it is not the time to be stubborn. Yagoda agrees with and tells her while a fireball heads their way, katara, yagoda and bunch of female waterbenders stop it from impacting and freezing it in towering ice. Pakku realises their potential and positions them at exposed point in order for them to stop further damage from the fireballs. Aang also tries to stop the damage but it's too much yet he helps other soldiers retreive. The chief tells yue that there are soldiers that need immediate attention in the sacred pond and tasks sokka to guard her while she heals the gravely injured. They head to the pond and heal many of the soldiers who walk out of the oasis, as they leave and sokka and yue are about to head out they notice an air balloon descending towards the oasis. They hide in the bushes nearby and observe who is there and what they are trying to achieve. As aang is helping outside at the front, kuruk appears to him and informs him about the dagger presence, it's properties and how it can end the life of most powerful spirits and pleads him to go the sacred oasis where the most powerful spirits reside during events like full moon. Zhao looks around in the oasis reciting the words he read in the scroll about spirits. He sees two koi fishes circling each other, slightly glowing. He recognises the eternal dance and decides to kill the spirit. Iroh warns him that the spirits are something that should not be trifled with and threatens him force if he proceeds with his actions. While Aang heads for the oasis through kuruk's temple, zuko confronts him and asks him to surrender and come with him. Katara asks Aang to go ahead and stop Zhao while she takes on zuko. They both fight with their best but with katara sharpening her skills and catching zuko by surprises, she easily overpowers him after several bouts. Aang also arrives and tells Zhao how spirits are important for everyone, even fire nation. The spiritual balance needs to be maintained in order for life on earth to survive, without it everything will fall apart. Zhao steps back from the pond but at everyone's surprise jumps in with the dagger and stabs the moon spirit, turning everything grey and moonlight vanishing from sky. Yue faints and aang feels striking pain in his head as he senses the loss of balance. Iroh strikes Zhao several times but Zhao manages to escape. Iroh runs behind him while looking at yue and telling her you have unique life in you. Aang gets flashbacks of air temple, kyoshi's harsh words and kuruk's word about how he should walk alone on this path and there needs to be certain sacrifice in order to achieve the results. During all this, aang hears some somber chants. Those chants were something knew but very familiar to him. He senses the chants coming from the pond. The chant is "Na Mo A Mi Tuo Fo Shin Di" which translates to "I bow to infinite light". It's a chant that is used by spirits when they are in danger or need of help towards the avatar spirit. As aang moves closer to the pond the chant intensifies. Yue expresses her despair and how everything is destroyed and it's over, simultaneously aang enters avatar state and with thousands voices says "no, it's not over". Aang walks into the pond and stands near the ocean spirit which circles aang, starting a ritual of combining their power. Aang dips into the ocean and emerges as koizilla. This prompts the water tribe citizens to bow to their diety immediately and koi zilla recognises the fire nation forces and starts to wipe them out of the city.
As Zhao runs through the streets of ange quela, he is confronted by zuko who duels him in order to avenge assassination attempt. Zuko eventually overpowers Zhao and questions why he did it to which Zhao reveals he knows about his blue spirit identity thanks to his sister. He goes further and tells him that his father and sister think of you as a failure and your father used you to push your sister to new heights and now she's more powerful than ever. Zuko walks away in shame and sadness after hearing this. Seeing the opportunity Zhao tries to take a cheap shot at him but is immediately torched by Iroh and drops into the water channel that has glow of ocean spirit. Aang in koizilla wrecks havoc on fire nation fleet amid their constant attacks through the catalputs but he overpowers them and sends a wave huge enough to ruin the fleet. Katara tries to speak to aang and talk him out of this destruction but aang's sense of worldly concern is gone and he intends to help the spirit until they are at peace and balance.
We cut to oasis and sokka talks about the possibility of bringing back the moon spirit to which yue has flashbacks to how she was so extraordinary, and she finally accepts the fact that she needs to repay the debt. She gives sokka a kiss and while sokka is not looking she freezes his feet in order to immobilize him. She walks into the oasis pond and picks up the dead koi fish, while sokka pleads her not to and using her healing power with her spirit's concentration and disappears into the strong light, which after few seconds goes away and the moon spirit has returned in form of the koi fish. Sokka watches yue disappear like that and cries in loss. The moon appears back into the sky and grabs aang and the koizilla's attention. Katara tells aang how important he is to her and how aang is still needed by everyone. She tells him that he might have lost a family but also gained one in form of her and sokka. This convinces aang to stop his rampage as the balance has been restored and he is retreated back to the shore by the ocean spirit into katara's arms. The sun rises and everyone begins to face the aftermath of war by removing the debris, helping the injured and securing the corpses of the fallen. Aang looks at the mayhem and destruction and blames himself from not stopping it. Katara tries to comfort him by telling him the bad actions of other people is not your fault, but he tells her it's his job to stop them and flies away on his glider. later, a funeral ceremony is held. The chief thanks the Martrys and the injured for their courage and sacrifice and how their valiant effort stopped the fire nation. He pays respect to yue for restoring balance and speaks how proud he is of her sacrifice. Pakku also announces that some traditions are outdated, and they need to change like water. He announced that women will no longer be prohibited from learning waterbending combat and everyone is free to learn what they want to. Chief ends the speech with saying there have been losses but we always move forward from these because it's our nature to adapt and overcome difficulties and losses. Aang realizes that loss of life is part of the cycle of life and he cannot prevent everything but he can always try. He remembers gyatso's words about letting go. Sokka and the chief share the conversation of how yue was so courageous and how they feel after her leaving them in this world . Pakku tells katara how she reminded him of their core values and she's a commendable warrior and a bender. After the ceremony ends aang tells katara and sokka how he feels he needs to move forward and be the avatar the world needs. Katara expresses happiness while sokka shows sarcasm and tells him he's hungry and offers them to join in for the food and katara taunts his need to eat everytime.
We cut to omashu being heavily damaged and fire nation soldiers walking in. We see a shot of bumi being captured and trapped into metal casings to prevent him from bending. A warrior with face masks walks up to him and removes it.. revealing it was azula who has invaded omashu.
Episode ends with the fire nation sages revealing to Ozai model have developed to predict sozin's comet and informs him that it's arriving soon.

Hi pcos sisters!
Long story short I have been trying my whole life to lose weight, working out hard and eating next to nothing. Well lo and behold I have pcos, a tale as old as time!
I managed to lose about 25-30lbs then went on Wegovy and needed up losing a total of 90lbs. I was feeling on top of the flippin world! Cut to now, my OB told me that I will need to be off Wegovy for 2 months prior to TTC so I cut the meds cold turkey. My weight remained the same low for a bit but here I am 3 months later and it is creeping back up and I haven’t changed much about my routine. I haven’t don’t as much cardio and maybe a little emotional eating with the negative pregnancy tests but truthfully nothing extreme. I’m up 20 pounds compared to my low weight and feeling sad and down.
I’ve been flirting with the idea of Metformin which looks to be safe while TTC and pregnancy. Had anyone had a similar experience?
I just want to get 10 pounds lower, I feel my best there. It’s hard not to get discouraged because I do want to be a mama so bad but my mental health with this gain is making that excitement hard and it’s consuming me.

22F. Seeing another neurologist and getting an EMG in three weeks but would like to get other people’s opinions - my PCP has no idea what’s going on with me. What am I missing/where do I go from here?
Current symptoms: - perceived weakness and neuropathy in left hand/wrist (feels like a weird burning/tingling sensation, sometimes triggered by the cold but present a majority of the time) - this is by far my worst symptom - occasional tingling sensations in other extremities, but never as frequent as left hand - bad upper back pain (comes and goes, gets worse with certain positions and never in one specific area) - derealization/brain fog (feels like I’m out of it/in a different universe, also hard to describe) - occasional chills/shivering - fatigue (sort of comes and goes in waves)
Timeline of my symptoms:
Feb 2023: fell twice while drunk (don’t have balance issues), woke up a two days later with terrible back spasms. A few days after that I noticed weird tingling sensations in my hands and feet and freaked out, also generally not feeling well/having a lot of fatigue. Freaked out about having MS - doctor did brain MRI and told me to chill out, symptoms went away.
Sept 2023: started experiencing chronic fatigue and derealization, chalked it up to weed withdrawals (I was cutting back at the time).
Oct 2023: got Covid - brain fog and fatigue got a lot worse.
Late Oct 2023: started having weird stomach issues - constant bloating and random sharp pains in lower abdomen. Got some tests done, this went away in around a month.
Early Nov 2023: started getting vaginal pain/constant burning sensation. Got more tests done, also went away in around a month.
Dec 2023: started feeling a bit better, then had a terrifying experience on THC (fully disassociated and thought I was dying multiple times), quit for good.
Mid Dec 2023: started talking birth control for PCOS as per gyno’s recommendation.
Late Dec 2023: started getting weird muscle weakness in both left hand and foot, went away in around three weeks. Also felt chest pain a few times and ended up in the ER for it, where I got my heart tested. Fatigue was pretty bad this whole time.
Jan-Feb 2024: muscle weakness mostly gone, fatigue slowly improving throughout these months, still dealing with some brain fog. Resumed weed use which was probably a bad idea.
March-May 2024: Quit weed for good. Switched to new progestin-only birth control because the combination one was giving me high BP. Started getting all this weird neuropathy and joint pain all over the place, for a few days it was super bad in my left/hand wrist and since then it’s been mostly in that area. Makes me wonder whether I have carpal tunnel or some nerve compression problem - it’s pretty painful. Sometimes shows up in left foot but not that bad there. Still have some derealization and brain fog that shows up for a few hours a day - it’s weird. Fatigue and back pain still present. Symptoms come and go in ways though - I have both good and bad days. I’d like to think I’m improving overall, but days like today make me not so sure of that.
Medical history: - had spinal fusion surgery for scoliosis in thoracic spine when I was 15 - PCOS - no family history of any autoimmune or neurological conditions except for grandmother with MS
Medications/drugs: - take 2,000 IU of vitamin D3 every day - started birth control in December (right before the neuropathy started - wonder if they might be related?) - chronic daily THC abuse for ~14 months right before all this started, been sober for several months now (possibly related?)
Tests I’ve already had: - brain MRI in Feb 2023 and March 2024 - both showed unchanged one/possibly two nonspecific T2 hyperintensities that the MS specialist said were benign - cervical spine MRI - 100% clear - neurological exams (multiple) - 100% normal - full abdominal and pelvic ultrasound - clear except for benign liver finding that doctor is not concerned about - chest x-ray - 100% clear - two EKGs - normal - thoracic spine x-ray - clear, showed that screws from surgery are in proper place - stool test - normal - urine test - normal - pap smear - atypical cells of undetermined significance, HPV negative - doctor said not to worry about it/continue screening every three years - lyme disease test - initial screening came back positive but confirmation tests were negative so doctors concluded it wasn’t lyme - B12 test - 526 (normal) - A1C - 4.8 (normal) - Rheumatoid factor - normal - C-reactive protein - normal/on lower side - ESR - normal/on lower side - SPEP panel with immunofixation - all normal - Jo-1 antibody - normal - CBC and complete metabolic panel - all normal - hepatic panel - normal - Methylmalonic acid - normal - TSH with reflex - normal - troponin - normal - PT-INR - normal - magnesium - normal - lipase - normal - serum protein electrophoresis - normal - mono (multiple times) - negative - reproductive hormones - elevated androgens (hence the PCOS diagnosis)

TODAY'S RECAP

I was so bored with the show today. Liam gets all up in Deacon's business. Luna worries she's pregnant. RJ fusses at Brooke for fussing at Zende. Even Steffy's confrontation with Sheila bored me bc it was so very predictable. Knowing the topics, someone could write a recap without even viewing the episode.

RJ, Brooke, and Ridge at FC

RJ: MOMMMM! You shouldn't have fussed at Zende! 🤨 It's Luna's business. I want to respect her privacy. So, please stay out of it! 😦 I'm handling it. Gah! I don't need your help!
Brooke: I had to! 😦
RJ: No. No you did NOT have to! (💭 Don't make me regret telling you.😕)
Brooke: We're FAMILY! He slept with your girlfriend! 👩I had to know what he would say for himself (💭 🫤 Not much.)
RJ: Nuh uh! You did not HAVE to know ANYTHING! (💭 Getting mom to back off is not easy. Why does she have to know everything? 🫤)
I'ma draw a circle ⭕ around MY business and Luna's. That's called a BOUNDARY. This is you right here 👇 in the middle of OUR business. You need to get 👉 👉 👉 OUT. (💭 Okay, Reddit. That's what we wished he would have said 🫤.)
(What he really said, in the nicest way possible) Mommmmm. Don't do that. We need to respect Luna's privacy. I don't want you talking about it here or with dad.
Enter Ridge. 😀 What's going on? Something's up. What is it? 🧐 It's totally my business. Everything is. I get to butt in. That's my thing.
RJ: 🫤
Brooke: 🙄
Ridge: It's Luna right? 😀 Great gal! Office romance, huh. 👩‍❤️‍👨 I did that. I fell for this hot chemist 🔬😍. (Smoochy Smoochy 😘.)
RJ: (💭 Not your business 😒). Dad, it's not a BIG life or death thing, so can you just be cool with not knowing? 😐
Ridge: Nooo. Now I REALLY want to know!
RJ: It doesn't involve you two and it's not life or death, so. (💭 These two! Gah!)
Ridge: Ohhhh, I see. You're acting like a teenager, going to your mom for help.
Brooke: He's not in any kind of trouble 😐. (💭 Getting Ridge to back off is not easy. Why does he have to know everything? 🫤)
Ridge: Alright. Look, your mom gives great advice. Listen to her! 😀 I'm here too if you want to talk. (Redditors who are not fast forwarding are surprised he's letting it go. It's so un-Ridge.)
You're doing so great! 😀 HFTF👗is great! 😃 You have a great team 🙂 and that ain't easy! Your collaboration is great! 😊 It's all great! 😀 Everyone else thinks you're great too! 😃 And you and Luna are great! 👩‍❤️‍👨 Keep up the great! 😁
RJ: With Hope's vision, anyone coul--
Ridge: Nah. Not anyone. You're GREAT!

Luna and Poppy at FC

Luna: Ohhhhhhhh noooooooo.😟 I think I might be pregnant.🤰I have this pregnancy test, but I think instead of taking it, we should just speculate back and forth.
Poppy and Luna: (play 20 questions❓) We know you had sex❓ Yah 😟. With two guys❓Yah 😣. Did you use protection❓Yah 😢. Do you feel sick❓🤢 Yah yah yah! 🤢🤮 Have you ever felt like this before❓Noooooooooooooooo! 😩 It's a special, unique, new kinda sick! 😖
Luna: I don't want to mess up my life! 😫 What am I gonna doooooooo?! RJ just forgave me 😫.
Poppy: Oh! YAY! 😃👏👏👏 Told you so 😏.
Luna: I don't wanna baby! 👶🍼 Wah! 😩
Poppy: (💭 Yah. Obviously sweetheart. You might think you're grown, but you're still a BABY! And kind of a big baby 🫤.) Don't get ahead of yourself. It could be something else. 🙄
Luna: Yah! 🙄 But nah 😞. Maybe I should just take the test? (💭 🤔)
Poppy: Yah. 😐
(⏰ Alarm rings.)
Luna: 😫 I can't loooooook! 🫣 You loooooooook!
Poppy: 👀
Luna: 😟

Deacon and Liam at Il Giardino

Liam: Wtf are you doing? 🤨
Deacon: Working. Living my life. Saving Sheila. 😏
Liam: (💭 I'ma jump right into his business bc we used to hang out back when I was married to his daughter.) No one but you is happy Sheila's alive. 😒
Deacon: (💭 Dude. How is this your business? 🤔) I'm thrilled 😃 she's alive and so is Finn! 👨‍⚕️
Liam: 🤨 Ohhh, hey, that Finn part, that won't work for Steffy 😡.
Deacon: You want me to wish someone dead? 💀 Nah.
Liam: Wellll, no but you've invented an imaginary version of Sheila! 😇 Sheila BAD! 👺 She did all the very bad 😈 things. Don't you get that? Amirite?
Deacon: But not ONLY the bad things. Also a good thing - tryna save Steffy.🦸‍♀️
Liam: But the bad is very BAD 👹. And how do you know she tried to save Steffy? 🤔 You have only her word! She could be making shit up 🫲 left and right 🫱! She could be spinning stories ✍️, telling tall tales, presenting you with her fantasy 🧙🪄 fiction, exaggerating 😦, LYING!
Deacon: Or not. Look, I'm happy she's alive! And I didn't listen to anybody. If I hadn't searched texts📱, credit card 💳 receipts 🧾, and if Finn and I hadn't tracked her down and saved her from being chained up ⛓️ in that warehouse, she really would be dead ☠️😵.
Liam: Yay Columbo. 🔎 But what about STEFFY? I'm concerned about STEFFY! I have STEFFY on the brain! Finn can't protect STEFFY (💭 so I will!)
Deacon: Steffy is fine. Gah. I know Sheila's psycho 😵‍💫 history (💭🪓➰🔪🔥). And she knows I'm not a big fan of the attempted murders and shit. I was like, babe. Stop. 🛑 Not cool. And she was like, for you and my son, okaaaay, fine, I'll stop. ppffrrtt. Sheesh. 🙄
So yah, she's changed. She hasn't sprouted angel 😇 wings 🪽 but she's no threat. And Steffy can be relieved that Steffy The Blade Forrester 😏 didn't kill 🔪 Finn's birth mother.
Liam: Not funny. 🤨 All Steffy wants is NO Sheila in their lives. So maybe you and Finn could at least lay off the happy dance!🕺🕺
Deacon: Steffy could choose to be open minded and at least give Sheila a chance.
Liam: Nah! 🤨
Deacon: I'm in a happy dance🕺, cartwheel🤸‍♂️, spike the ball 🏈 in the end zone kinda mood. So's Finn. 😃
Liam: 😒

Steffy and Sheila at Deacon's apartment

(Sheila flashes back to Deacon's latest proposal. Steffy knocks, then walks in).
Steffy: YOUUUUUU! 😡😤 Alive and well! Blech! 🤮
Sheila: Hiyeee.👋 I realize that you hate me, that you don't want to see my face, that you wish I were dead 💀, that all you can think about is the list of my violent 🪓➰🔪crimes against your family, but heyyyy. Let's chat. Why not? 🫲☺️🫱. I've been wanting to talk to you.
Steffy: Grrr! Snort! 😤
I hope you can at least understand Finn's feelings. He's jumping for joy 🤸‍♂️that I'm alive.
Steffy: 😡
Sheila: You too can feel the same if you just give a girl a chance, will ya? We can get our nails done 💅 and our hair cut 💇‍♀️💇‍♀️ together! I can be your BFF 👯, if you'll just overlook several instances of attempted murder 🪓, kidnapping ➰, arson 🔥, and what not. I'm all better 😇 now for real for real. I'm taking all soft and smooth and not choking 😵 you even a little. So, what'd ya say?
Steffy: Grrr! Snarl! Finn's emotions are all SCREWY, SCRAMBLED up, and FRIED by YOU! 🫨 He's essentially got fried egg 🍳brain! Huff! Puff! 😤
He's GOOD! 👼 He's a doctor!👨‍⚕️ He's saves people! That's his job! He NEEDS--
Sheila: Your support! Your understanding. (💭Your personality to be swapped out. 😒). He just needs a little--
Steffy: FINN NEEDS YOU 👉 and YOUR CRAZY ASS PSYCHO 🫨 BULLSHIT to STAY🫸 the iFUCK AWAY FROM HIM! 🤬 STAY OUT of our lives! Snarl! 😡
Sheila: (💭 This again. Reminds me of the time I shot 🔫🩸 this bitch. 🫤) I gave BIRTH to him. I--
Steffy: I! DON'T! CARE! 😤😡🤨 I DON'T CARE that YOU GAVE BIRTH to HIM! SOOOO FUCKING WHAT?! That means exactly NOTHING to ME! Grrrr! Growl! This stupid ass CONNECTION IS DONE! FINISHED! OVER! Got it BITCH? 😤🤨😡
Sheila: I'm his mother. You're a mother--
Steffy: DON'T TRY TO PLAY THE MOMMY CARD! YOU SHOT HIM!
Sheila: Well yah (💭 I was tryna shoot you). But that was 🫲 then. This 🫱 is now. Finn forgave me. ☺️ He's--
Steffy: HE'S kind and compassionate, unlike YOU! All you bring is LIES! MISERY! HEARTACHE! 💔 DESTRUCTION! 💥 TSUNAMI! 🌊 TORNADOS! 🌪️ And POOR WAIT STAFF CUSTOMER SERVICE! We could get pizza 🍕 again at the ONLY PIZZA PLACE IN LA! But you've DESTROYED our pizza outings that we just got back! We were FINALLY READY to venture into Il Giardino again. Now you've RUINED IT FOR MY FAMILY! ROARRRRRR!
Sheila: Well yah and I wanna change that. I have a new beginning. We can try different pizza toppings -- whatever you want!
Steffy: OHHHHHHH STFU about FRESH STARTS and FRESH IDEAS for TOPPINGS! I will NEVER try CHOCOLATE 🍫 or COCONUT 🥥 on MY PIZZA! It's just WRONG! Snarl! Snort! 😤 Grrr! 😡 Harumph! YOU run your STUPID, UGLY, BIG, FAT, STINKING MOUTH 👄 about FRESH STARTS every fucking time you pop back from the DEAD 💀 like a FUCKING ZOMBIE 🧟‍♀️or get released from prison!
STOP 🛑 STOP 🛑 STOP 🛑 STOP 🛑 with your FRESH START and your TWISTED BIOLOGICAL tie to FINN! It STOPS 🛑 TODAY! Right FUCKING NOW!
Sheila: Sputter. Ppffrrtt! Well. Gah! (💭 Little girl, aren't you the bratty, bossy bitch. Hmm. What to do about you. I'm not supposed to kill 🔪 you, dang it 🫤. Finn would prolly be mad 😠 and Deacon would scold me 🤨 and hafta bribe another judge. 👨‍⚖️ Phewy. 😕 Kidnapping ➰ is always an option, as long as they don't trace it back to me 😏. She's such a pain in my ass 🫤. I'll try to reason with her, but she's not exactly reasonable. Reformed me is an expert on reasonableness 😌.)
You're forgetting Finn saved me. He missed me and that changed him. He--
Steffy: He's DECENT! He's a DOCTOR. You ALWAYS SPEW the SAME STUPID INSANE GARBAGE. 🤮 Grrr! I gave FINN a CHOICE -- YOU or ME! He chose ME! And his SON! NOT YOU! WE are his PRIORITY! Harumph!
Sheila: Yah yah, as you should be, but he's made room in his heart ❤️ for me too. Why can't he have both? 😦
Steffy: NEVER! YOU are DEAD 💀to us. YOU don't MATTER. I don't care about you or what you do with your PATHETIC useless, pointless life. Growl! 😡
You are CANCELLED! ❌ I'm BLOCKING YOU ON INSTA and FACEBOOK! YOU OBSESSIVELY LIKE EVERY PICTURE! IT'S CREEPY AF! DO NOT try to sneakily FRIEND FINN on SNAPCHAT either! 😡 Huff! Puff! 😤 Or send him encrypted messages! And he's not even on Reddit bc he thought he was spending too much time looking at funny cats 🐱 swatting things! 😡 WE will NOT follow YOU on TIKTOK and YOU can't even DANCE💃 like a normal person! Your moves are demented 🫨! And your stories are LAME af! FUCK right tf OFF!
Sheila: But I'm MOMMY. I care about him and he--
Steffy: IF YOU actually CARED about FINN, you would LEAVE him tf ALONE! DON'T try to worm 🪱 your way into his heart! 😡
Go do whatever the fuck with Deacon. But STAY OUT OF FINN'S HEAD! 🧠 STOP 🛑 MESSING with his EMOTIONS! Snarl! 😠 FUCK OFF! WREAK your fucked up brand of havoc AWAY FROM US BITCH! Snort! 😤 YOU DON'T EXIST TO US!
If you don't, YOU WILL ANSWER TO ME! 😡
Sheila: 😐 (💭 Clearly, she's a problem 😕.)
Steffy: 😡😡😡 (💭 watching 👁️👁️ you).
The end.

So on April 14th I found out I was pregnant with my first pregnancy. Wasn’t planned but wasn’t prevented either ( we are adult know of our actions and consequences) I’ve always dreamed of being a mom and my partner will be the best father. Anyway we found out and I was crying with excitement and also nervous because I was terrified I was going to lose my baby( I have a genetic mutation that makes it so my body doesn’t intake folic acid properly and puts me at high risk) but 3 days later I started having some bleeding and cramping but the day before I had my blood HCG which was only showing I was 3ish weeks and so immediately I was crying and saying “ no no no “ then called the nurse hotline and they told me that since I’m so early on the cramping and bleeding could be normal and if I pass any clots bigger than a lemon I need to go to the ER. I didn’t but over the next few days I was super vigilant about going and getting my blood tests done every couple of days. At first they were rising appropriately but still bleeding off and on. but then I started having pain on my right side ( it wasn’t cramping it was higher up felt like bloating and gas) but the ER Dr told me “it’s probably a miscarriage or maybe ectopic but we can’t see because you are to early on” and called my OB and told them they need to check in with me everyday. So then the next day my dr did a progesterone test and it was only at a 5.9 and the dr said “it’s not where it’s supposed to be but let’s put you on progesterone supplements.” And then told me to come back a week later. ( even tho the er dr told them they needed to check in with me more frequently) I go in about a week later and told him I was having some pain and I didn’t know if it was gas or water but my whole abdomen was really hurting and he told me to check with my normal primary physician. He also stated “your hcg isn’t where it should be” but then said he’d watch it still. We saw the gestational sac but still couldn’t see any baby because at this point I was supposedly 5ish near my 6 week mark. Said that was “normal”. After the ultrasound I started having severe cervical pain and just was told it was normal. Went to work in excruciating pain and started having clots so after work I waited for my s/o to get off work and we almost didn’t go to the ER because my OB didn’t really seem concerned with my pain and it honest to god just felt like bloating and gas pain. I thought my bowels were twisted. But we show up at the ER and my Dr came in and basically told me since I was here not even a week ago “ we are just treating symptoms at this point cause we can’t do anything since you are pregnant “ and gave me Tylenol and fluids and told me “this is completely normal and my wife went through excruciating pain where she cried with both of our kids” and just completely invalidated any of my pain. Anyways he did a blood test and then when he came back in he told me my hcg levels weren’t looking normal and that they wanted to do another ultrasound. So we did the ultrasound and after that I the pain worsened extremely and they gave me morphine immediately and that’s when I knew something wasn’t right and then my dr came in and told us that my right fallopian tube ruptured and that it was ectopic and my OB was on his way to do emergency surgery and I was already loopy at that point and felt like everything happened so fast.
since then I’ve been recovering physically okay. But mentally I don’t think I’ve fully processed it. Every night since then I’ve been having terrible vivid nightmares about all of my fears. I’m trying to get back into my day to day life but I find myself so angry at my dr and at the world. Why didn’t my dr realize before. Based off my progesterone and pain and bleeding? Like now that I look back it seems so OBVIOUS and I feel so stupid for listening to my dr. I was holding onto hope that my dr gave us. He didn’t seem concerned. He didn’t say anything and then I got a second opinion from our ultrasound picture and was questioning the dr asking why he didn’t send me to the ER right away because the gestational sac didn’t look right. I just… I’m mentally hurting and I lost apart of me even though I was constantly trying to advocate for myself and my baby. I know it couldn’t have saved my baby but I wish I could’ve had my fallopian tube saved… im just hurt and probably taking it out on every little thing but it’s been so hard to just pretend like nothing happened. I feel guilt for feeling stuck while everyone moves on in their lives. I’ve been just putting on a facade and pretending everything is fine.. idk. It’s just been a rollercoaster I feel like.

DESIGNER DISCOVERY SETS for those interested in buying decants from specific lines. Current sizes I offer are 2ML 5ML 10ML and include everything listed under a brand. (I have many more brand lines to add soon) Any questions or mix matching feel free to reach out. ILL HELP YOU FIND WHAT YOU LIKE. (I may be missing some from each set but I am on the hunt. If you have one I am missing chat me I’m looking to buy or trade for it) $$$ SHIPPED CONUS $$$
[COLOGNE PHOTOS PT.2]
[COLOGNE PHOTOS PT.1]
[COLOGNE PHOTOS PT.3]
[COLOGNE PHOTOS PT.4]
[COLOGNE PHOTOS PT.5]
Please check the list below as there are some colognes added that are not in photos. ⬇️
1 MILLION - OG, Parfum, Cologne, Intense, Elixir, Lucky, Prive, Royal
x8 -2ML $50
SPICEBOMB - OG, Extreme, Fraiche, Night Vision EDT, Night Vision EDP, Infrared, Infrared EDP
x7 -2ML $42
INVICTUS - OG, Intense, Aqua, Aqua 2016, Platinum, Victory, Legend
x7 -2ML $42
AZZARO WANTED - OG, Tonic, Night, Most Wanted, Most Wanted Parfum, EDP
x7 -2ML $42
PRADA LUNA ROSSA - OG, Eau sport, Carbon, Extreme, Ocean, Sport, Black
x7 -2ML $42
YSL Y - OG, Fraiche, EDP, Parfum, Live
x5 -2ML $32
ACQUA DI GIO - OG, Profondo, EDP, Absolu, Profondo Lights, Profumo, Absolu Instinct
x7 -2ML $42
DIOR HOMME - OG, Intense, Cologne, Parfum, Eau, Sport
x6 -2ML $40
MERCEDES-BENZ - OG, Silver, Intense, Cologne
x4 -2ML $20
MONT BLANC LEGEND - OG, Night, Spirit, Intense, EDP, Red
x6 -2ML $25
LE MALE - 2008 OG, Elixir, Le Beau, Navy, Stimulating Body Spray, Ultra, Fleur Du Male, Terrible, Cologne Tonic, Fraicheur Intense, Parfum, Essence De Parfum, Fleur Du Male Cologne, Summer Spray, On Board, Aviator
x16 -2ML $102
PASHA DE CARTIER - OG, Parfum, Noire, Sport, Fraicheur Menthe
x5 -2ML $25
GIVENCHY PI - OG, Extreme, Neo, Air
x4 -2ML $24
VERSACE PH - OG, Dylan blue, Oud Noir
x3 -2ML $12
DIOR FAHRENHEIT - OG, Aqua, 32, Parfum, Absolute
x5 -2ML $40
BURBERRY - London, Brit, Rhythm, Rhythm Intense
x4 -2ML $16
MONT EXPLORER - OG, Platinum, Ultra Blue
x3 -2ML $12
BVLGARA AQVA - OG, Toniq, Marine, Amara, Atlantique, Marine Toniq
x6 -2ML $30
BOSS THE SCENT - OG, Intense, Absolute, Pure Accord, Parfum, Private Accord, Le parfum
x7 -2ML $36
COACH MEN - OG, Blue, Platinum, Green
x4 -2ML $18
A-Men - OG, BMen, Malt, Havane, Shot, Urban, Tonka, Wood, Chili, Ultimate, IceMen, Kryptomint, Coffee, Leather, Zest
x15 - 2ML $105
Parfums De Marly - Herod, Sedley, Goldolphin, Percival, Darley, Kalan, Layton, Greenley, Pegasus, Layton Exclusif, Althair, Perseus, Haltane, Pegasus Exclusif
x14 - 2ML $108
Kilian - Angels Share, Apple Brandy, Roses On Ice, L’Heure Verte, Intoxicated, Bamboo Harmony, Vodka On The Rocks, Back To Black, Moonlight In Heaven, Black Phantom, Gold Knight, Sacred Wood, Dark Lord
++RARE ADD ONS++ Cruel Intentions , A Taste Of Heaven
x12 - 2ML $106
John Varvatos - OG, Artisan, Dark Rebel Rider, Artisan Blu, Oud, Dark Rebel, Artisan Pure
x7 - 2ML $35
Drakkar - Noir, Intense, Essence, Horizon
x4 - 2ML $14
Diesel The Brave - OG, Street, Spirit, Wild, Sound, Spirit Intense
x6 - 2ML $24
Bad Boy - OG, Parfum, Cobalt Parfum, Extreme
x4 - 2ML $20
Gucci Guilty - OG, EDP, Cologne, Absolute, Parfum, Elixir, Black
x7 - 2ML $42
Mancera - Cedrat Boise, Tonka Cola, Red Tobacco, Lemon Line, Lemon Aoud Mint
x5 - 2ML $30
Valentino - Uomo, BIR, Coral Fantasy, Acqua, BIR Intense, Uomo Intense
x6 - 2ML $40
Armani Code - OG, Absolu, A-List, EDP, Colonia
x5 - 2ML $30
Guerlain Ideal - OG, Cologne, Intense, EDP
x4 - 2ML $26
Diesel - Green, Green Parfum, Fuel, Fuel L’Eau, Masculine, Plus Plus
x6 - 2ML $30
Prada L’homme - OG, Intense, Water Splash
x3 - 2ML $20
Chanel - Allure Homme, Allure Cologne, Allure Sport Extreme, BDC EDT, BDC Parfum
x5 - 2ML $35
Calvin Klein One - OG, Platinum, Gold, Shock, All, Be, Summer Daze, Everyone
x8 - 2ML $32
YSL L’homme/ La Nuit - OG, LNDL OG, Frozen Cologne, Libre, Cologne Gingembe, Jean Nouvel, Parfum intense, Le Parfum, Libre Cologne Tonic, Sport, Ultime, Cologne Bleue, LNDL Bleu Electrique, LNDL Le Parfum, LNDL Intense, LNDL Eau Electrique
x16 - 2ML $120
Versace Man - OG, Eau Fraiche
x2 - 2ML $10
YSL Kouros - Silver, Body
x2 - 2ML $12
D&G The One - OG, Parfum, Sport, Grey, Gentleman, EDP
x6 - 2ML $32
Terre D’Hermes - OG, Eau Givree, Parfum
x3 - 2ML $18
Bentley - Intense, Black, Silverlake, Absolute
x4 - 2ML $18
Dior Sauvage - OG, Elixir
x2 - 2ML $14
Clones - Khamrah, Asad, Ramz, Futura Parfum, CDN Intense, CDN Milestone, The Tux, Ameer Al Oud Intense, Fakhar, Badee Al Oud, Najdia, Ejazzi Silver, Tres Nuit Lyric, Hunter, L’aventure intense, Amber + Leather
2ML $4 Each
Miscellaneous - Boy Toy, Voyage, HIM, The Dreamer, Rogue Man, Star USA, Rochas Man, Deseo, Scandal, Light Blue, Light Blue Forever, Amber Intense, Phantom,
2ML $4-6 Each

I just got my s24 ultra about 2 days ago after like 7 years of researching phones and always wanting the best one. Finally getting it my most hyped feature by far was the anti glare screen.
When I tested it out, I could tell it was there, but it was not significant enough for me to immediately be like "WOW". I could read text in bright sun, but I couldn't read it well enough I could say for sure that it was a significant upgrade like the reviews were making it seem.
Then I found out about the extra dim feature, and was curious to try it out only to find out it was already on. Turning it off I immediately noticed a shift in the way the screen was being displayed and went to try it out outside to see if it made a difference.
It did.
I even tried the extra brightness feature and it makes it even better. Keep in mind, at least to my eyes, neither of these features just make the screen brighter or darker. It seems to change the way the screen is displayed. Almost like 3 brightness settings you can then further adjust with the slider. Turning up the brightness all the way on extra dim is still harder for me to see in the sun than half brightness on regular. It's weird but I don't know how else to explain it.
Bottom line, if you think this feature isn't good enough, try turning off extra dim. If it's still not enough turn on extra bright. You should see an extremely noticeable difference.

[ STANDALONE SCRIPT ]
[ Credits are required, please comment if you fill my script ] [ Monetization is fine, contact if you use a paywall ] [ Small line edits are okay for a personal flair, larger edits require permission ] [ Gendename swapping is fine ] [ Title change is okay ] [ No AI voice ]
This is an experimental piece. I wanted to play with a voice similar to the narrator of the Stanley Parable, and I'm kind of proud with how this turned out. It’s short, sweet, and a little different. This piece has no effects but you are free to add some. Enjoy ~
Word Count: 1200
Synopsis: Bobbin does not know what is best. Luckily, I am also Bobbin, but better. Bobbin does not like that.
listener speaking = [...]
Today is not a special day for our favourite protagonist. They sit where they were yesterday, and where they will be tomorrow. Nothing has changed. And nothing is new. Perhaps something exciting is in order.
[ … ]
Now they are wondering why they hear a voice in their head. It is just their thoughts. It has always been this way.
What is this? Something has changed. They no longer sit where they were yesterday. And they have acquired a new name.
It is… Bobbin. Hello Bobbin. I am Bobbin and so are you. Everything is normal. Everything is the same.
Bobbin stands in a strange corridor. It’s a little bright and grey. Doors line the walls, but Bobbin knows they do not move. Bobbin can only go one way.
[ … ]
And Bobbin wonders why they can only go one way. They stand, pondering what it means to move. But all they need to do is put one foot forward. C’mon Bobbin. Time is running.
Bobbin walks through the hallway. They jiggle the door handles even though they know they will go nowhere.
[ … ]
Bobbin is now yanking on a door like a mad person. But this is why we love Bobbin. They always find entertainment in the blandest of moments. But this door is just a decoration. Bobbin really must get going.
Finally collecting themself, Bobbin continues walking. Their footsteps are quiet on the tiles. I mean carpet. They are content. This is a very nice corridor.
Bobbin reaches the end of the hallway. There are two paths. The right is painted red, the left green.
Bobbin looks both ways and decides to enter the green space!
[ … ]
Bobbin is very thoughtful. They appreciate the textures of the crossroad they wait at. Yes, it is very nice, the rendering is magnificent.
Bobbin nods in agreement and goes to the left hallway.
[ … ]
No. Bobbin enters the left hallway!
[ … ]
[ sigh ]
Let me just…
There. The grey corridor leads to a turn into a green-painted path. There was never another hallway. They can only go one way.
Bobbin skips merrily into the green space. They think “Yes! This is where I should be. I adore the colour green.”
Oh- Bobbin is now running! They are completely ignoring the carefully painted walls and plushy tile-I mean carpet- of the green hallway. My, they love the freedom! The wind! The rush of adrenaline! Oh this is what it’s meant to move and be alive!
That’s enough.
Bobbin trips into a library. Bobbin has been here all along. The library is old, its wood rich with age. Towers of shelves hold the lovely books, their shapes and designs perfectly filling the space.
But there are no people.
Bobbin wanders between the aisles. The lounge of leather couches is empty as well. Bobbin wonders where the people are. Is the library closed? Are they playing a game?
Bobbin likes games. Maybe this is hide-and-seek.
They raise their head high with determination. They will surely win. Bobbin begins to look around.
[ … ]
Oh yes, this is a great hiding spot. Maybe somebody is hiding under the table. Bobbin crawls under just to be sure.
Amazing work! Nobody is under the table. Bobbin crawls out to continue the search.
[ … ]
Bobbin does not want to be the seeker. Bobbin wants to hide too. They giggle under the desk, waiting for someone to find them.
Silly Bobbin.
[ … ]
Bobbin is… still waiting. Maybe another hider will take their place. Maybe they were meant to hide all along.
But nobody is coming.
[ … ]
Take your time, Bobbin. We can wait here all day.
[ … ]
Bobbin is folded on the ground. There is no table. Perhaps they are practicing their child’s pose. Yoga is a lovely way to stretch and exercise. But the hard wooden floor is hurting their knees. Maybe Bobbin should move along.
Bobbin is holding up a strange hand gesture. It looks like a thumbs-up, but the incorrect finger is raised. Bobbin is a little strange.
Bobbin stands and walks to the reception desk. They check around the chairs and in the cabinets. Nobody is there. Maybe they are all upstairs at the pool.
Wide stairs wait behind Bobbin. They turn around and begin to climb them.
On all fours…
Sure. Bobbin climbs the stairs like a dog on all fours. Again, they love to entertain, even when no one is watching. Maybe Bobbin needs a friend.
Bobbin reaches the top of the stairs. The pool room is massive with clean white tiles and blue edges. Vacant chairs sit along the clear water. Everything is as it should be.
Bobbin wants to swim, but they do not have their swimwear. They cannot swim in their clothes.
[ … ]
Bobbin no. Despite nobody watching, it is indecent to go nude.
[ … ]
No. Put that back on.
[ deep irritated breath ]
Bobbin learns their clothing is glued to their skin. Bobbin cannot take it off or swim.
[ … ]
Bobbin jumps onto the water, but they are too buoyant to go under. Now they are wet and a little sad.
They run across the water and enjoy the waving movement of the surface. It is like a solid jello.
Bobbin bounces their legs, rippling the jello in circles. It rises and falls like a sticky trampoline. Bobbin is smiling. Isn’t it fun to listen? Life is much easier when you listen to the voice in your head.
[ … ]
Bobbin is now trying to speak to something that does not exist. Maybe Bobbin’s mind is also made of gelatin.
[ … ]
They want to go somewhere different. This game is far too sophisticated for Bobbin. Let’s try… this.
Bobbin stands in the bathroom of an abandoned insane asylum where a mass murderer happens to live.
[ … ]
You wanted to hide, Bobbin. Now you can.
[ clears throat ]
The mass murderer is currently on the floor above Bobbin. Bobbin wants to escape. Unless Bobbin wants to make a new friend?
[ … ]
Bobbin would rather be shy today.
Bobbin should get moving.
[ … ]
Are you still not satisfied?
[ … ]
Picky picky. What else do I have…
Do you fancy a zombie apocalypse? I have a beta ready.
[ … ]
Fantasy? That is far too complicated.
How about a fire-breathing baby simulator? You can terrorize daycare and your parents.
No? Pity.
Oh! I have just the thing.
Bobbin stands on the lawn of an adoption centre. A talking penguin in glasses says hello. The penguin offers a free animal with no background check because she trusts Bobbin will be good and listen.
Bobbin selects the cat and names it… Slim Shady.
Okay, that’s it. We’re done.
[ … ]
No, no. I thought this would be fun. I built almost a dozen of worlds for you to explore, but you are far too stubborn to enjoy them.
I wanted to help you leave your mundane life for a few minutes. This was a complete waste of time.
[ … ]
What about Bobbin? Bobbin isn’t real.
[ … ]
[ huffs ]
Fine.
Bobbin wakes up in the chair they have always been in. It is where they were yesterday, and where they will be tomorrow. Nothing has changed. And nothing is new.
There is not even a voice in their head. Bobbin is simply crazy.
Goodbye Bobbin. You were an absolute tyrant to work with.
Let’s not meet again.
~ fade to black ~
Hello hello. Thanks for reading! What do you think? Strange but charming? Thought provoking? Has nostalgia settled in? This is very different from my usual content, but what can I say. I love shaking things up a little. See you next week!
Have a lovely evening/day ~

• Reb / AbnormalAsTheRest

Many MBA applicants feel very panicked about having bad grades. Some consider a 3.3 GPA in the danger zone; others are dancing on the 3.0 threshold and then there is the more extreme case of a 2.0.
The Misperception that GPA + GMAT + Work Experience = Everything
If you have a 3.0, the ticket is for you to arm yourself with a strong GMAT or GRE. That is necessary – but not sufficient.
There is often the perception that this is an "add water and stir" straightforward process where these numbers just need to line up a certain way. NOPE. This is a very nuanced process. A candidate's quality cannot be ascertained this way. The schools are selling other candidates to each other; they are selling the experience you will have interacting with other students, in large part.
So, it would be very risky and short-sighted to reduce things down to a simple formula like this. If these numbers are poor, they might keep you out of a top MBA program, however if they are strong, there is no guarantee of admission.
This is a qualitative process with some quantitative indicators that screen for aptitude, and help even the playing field between candidates of a similar profile.
Bad GMAT and Test Score
If you bring diversity to the class, they might forgive the test score to capitalize on that, but only if you have a very strong quant case. You can demonstrate this through a combination of the following:

• CFA designation
• HBX CORe transcript
• MBA Math transcript
• A, A-, or B+ grades in math-related undergrad courses
• Showing how the work you do requires quant skills

The Misperception of Lowish GPA as a Dealbreaker
While many candidates are trying to achieve the impossible with a 1.9, there are twice or three times as many candidates who have a 3.2 and feel all hope is lost. To be very plain and clear: if you have a GPA that is 3.0 or above, this is not a dealbreaker. You have work to do, you need a stronger than average test score, but you are not washed up.
The MBA admissions process looks at diversity, in all forms, quality of work experience, how interesting you are, and how likeable you appear to be!
Here are some things that can offset a weak GPA

• Work experience that brings diversity to the class
• A well-articulated record of leadership, teamwork, and problem solving
• A strong history of contribution to organizations and causes outside of work
• A diverse ethnicity or background showing how you can make a unique contribution inside and outside the classroom
• Interesting hobbies, a general showing of being into different things, being well-rounded rather than a work robot

However even if you have some of these things, if your UGPA dips below the 2.7 area, you should apply to as many schools as possible because it's unpredictable how things will fall for you.
A Holistic Process
Most of all, after doing these things to mitigate your poor grades, let it go and focus on your unique contribution that you can offer the programs.
It's not really a game of becoming adequate in all the check-the-box areas. It's more about being exceptional and not having red flags. It's important not to get so wrapped in being "good enough" in all areas that you forget about demonstrating how you shine, where you could really add value.
Focus on introspection, researching your goals and researching the schools. Really get a clear sense of your value proposition, focus on your strengths, figure out the wow factor for your application. Don't neglect extracurriculars, hobbies, and volunteer work. Continue to establish leadership in all those things for examples in the apps.
Your success in the applications will largely be predicated upon your ability to demonstrate your leadership, teamwork, and problem-solving skills. Through examples.
Lastly, don't forget that sentient beings are reading your applications. Your aim is to move and inspire them to let you join their special club.
No one will pound the table for your GPA or GMAT; but they will if you have established an emotional connection and they find you likeable.
Keep that at the forefront.

The Terran Union Heavy Cruiser, Roanoke, had spent the last 6 months raiding Naalx supply lines in the Flores sector.
They were finally returning to Terran Space for some much-needed refit and some R&R. But first, they were stopping at the Bateri space station orbiting Emsar IV.
She would be meeting a Terran Union squadron to escort her prizes back to the Couster system. 4 freighters, a massive ore hauler, and a damaged Naalx corvette that answered a distress call sooner than expected.
The Roanoke was one of the new Grenville class heavy cruisers, faster and more heavily armed than the other heavy cruiser classes operating as part of a Terran Union fleet.
They were designed as solo raiders able to operate deep in enemy space, raiding enemy supply lines and facilities.
Their design included several newly developed systems, including a new style of radiator for dumping excess heat.
At 500 m long and painted black as night, she was very intimidating to see on visual screens and even more so at close range. Her CrCoNi (chromium, cobalt, and nickel) hull was covered in 12” of ablative armor covered in a black laser-resistant material able to reduce the effectiveness of enemy sensors and target locks.
The experimental Baxter radiators efficiently released excess heat into space but still left them exposed to radiation detection sensors.
Captain Josef Král had been hand-picked to command the Roanoke when she came into service 18 months ago. He was a popular officer with 20 years of combat experience on just about every ship in the Terran Union’s navy.

He’d also provided technical assistance during its design phase so his familiarity with the ship made him the best choice for putting the ship through her paces. This would be the very first voyage behind enemy lines as a raider.
And it’d been a rousing success, hitting targets deep in Naalx space as reprisal for Naalxian raids on Terran border colonies. The First Naalx-Terran war had devastated both species and left them vulnerable to outside forces. The war wasn’t won so much as winding down to a series of raids and counter-raiding. A gentleman’s agreement to prevent raids and border skirmishes from turning into another full-scale war and the earlier consequences.
And Captain Král was very good at approaching that line in the sand without going over it. Several centuries earlier he’d have been a Privateer sailing the oceans on Earth.
This even led to the revival of the old pirate movies of the 20th century but Captain Král preferred likening it to the submarine warfare of the first half of the 20th century. That didn’t stop his crew from giving him a robot parrot.
He claims to hate it but everyone knows he’s been teaching it his extensive vocabulary of curse words, in dozens of languages, that he loved it.
And if you call him out on him walking around with it on his shoulder, he’ll claim he was just humoring the crew.
Captain Král was relieved to see the Terran squadron had arrived before him and ordered his little fleet to dock. It would be good to be able to get off the ship and move around without weapons.
As Captain Král exited the ship, he was surprised to see Commodore Allen waiting for him. It’d been several years since he last saw his friend and previous XO. Taking his prerogative as a Captain, he skipped the formalities, shook hands, and gave Commodore Allen a friendly slap on the back.
“Mike? What the hell are you doing here? This is escort job is for a Lt. to do” He asked
“I was in the neighborhood and volunteered. I wanted to see this new ship of yours and it’s been too long since we got a drink together.” Mike replied
Captain Král took a glance back to his ship and wasn’t surprised to see his current XO, Lt. Commander Nana Ricci had the resupply well in hand.
With a big grin, Captain Král said, “Let me see to my guests and we can see if we can scandalize the ratings like we used to.”
Captain Král approached the waiting station manager. The Bateri bowed in the formal greeting of her people. Not having the tentacles needed to return the bow, he just saluted her.
“Greetings Captain Král of the Terrans, how may we be of service?” The Bateri asked.
“Greetings Ananu of the Bateri. We request the use of your services,” he replied, finishing the ritual greeting.
“I see you returned successful in your raiding,” Ananu said, “How many bunks will you need?”
Unsurprised that the Bateri knew his mission, he replied “ 72 bunks with 3 more for your med bay, if you have the room.”
One of the most important functions provided by the Bateri was allowing for the return of captives taken in raids. This helped to keep things calmer by freely releasing captives to limit the amount of bad blood created during the raids and conflicts.
Crates of supplies, ammo, missiles, and the various other things needed to keep the ship functioning were being transferred from the smaller Terran ships. With her weapon complement being only slightly smaller than a battleship, she could go through a lot of ammunition. Even without being in serious combat, he liked to run frequent gunnery drills. Some Captains would just let their tactical computers handle operating the weapon systems and just have the gunnery crews handle reloads. But some hard lessons taught him that having the gunnery crews able to take direct control, as needed, was essential. He preferred to use up as much ammunition as needed during training to save lives later in combat.
Seeing everything in hand, he walked back to join his friend for a drink. They caught up on the doings of old friends and Mike’s family, toasts to fallen comrades, and eventually to the Roanoke.
‘How did she operate on her first long-range mission?” Mike asked
Taking a moment to organize his thoughts, Captain Král took a sip of his drink. “She handled better than expected. The new engine behaved itself, surprising for being just off the drawing board, the Baxters were damn efficient.”
Taking another sip before continuing, “ We didn’t use the torpedoes or the turreted railguns in combat but the rest performed as expected. That Corvette didn’t stand a chance so we didn’t get a full test of all the combat systems.”
“Going by the number of munitions I brought with me, you’d think I was resupplying a battleship” Mike joked
“Just about,” Captain Král chuckled. “During the design phase, I had to argue for such an increase of armament.” “It seemed to take forever for them to get it through their thick skulls that we’d be out there all alone and couldn’t call for reinforcements.” “So I convinced them to put the 2 particle beam systems in the bow of the ship and give me the 4 torpedo tubes. They had no problem with the pair at the bow but they couldn’t figure out why I wanted a pair aft. I swear I thought about launching them out of a tube.”

“At least they were starting to get it when I up-gunned the turrets to carry two large railguns. They did get upset at wanting to put on a turret in the middle of the ventral side but were relieved I left the other turret on the dorsal side ahead of the command structures”
Commodore Allen asked,” From the glimpse I got as you docked, it looked like you doubled the usual weapon systems?”
“She still has them 10 secondary batteries but I went with dual medium railguns for them” Captain Král replied, “ I put 4 of the quad-mounted autocannons on each side of the ship.”
“ It should let us save wear and tear on the railguns when we catch unarmed ships or against incoming fighters.”
“ I understand and it also saves on missiles, which with 4 heavy and 8 medium is a lot of missiles to carry.” Commodore Allen replied.
“I’ve also heard you were running tests on a more powerful deflector array to do more than just protect against radiation and small debris. Like maybe actual shields that would work on anything smaller than a battleship?”
“Yeah but not with any success,” Captain Král answered, “Anytime we tried to go past the standard low-power output, it played hell with our sensors.”
It was at that moment when Captain Král’s wrist communicator beeped for his attention.
“Just a second Mike,” he said as he keyed the communicator. “ Král, go ahead”
The sound of Lt. Commander Ricci’s voice came through the speaker, “ Priority message from the bridge Captain.”
“ What is the message?” Captain Král asked, not liking the way Ricci’s voice sounded worried
“ Sensor buoy reports large Naalx fleet dropping out of FTL, 2 million km out,” Ricci reported
Commodore Allen gave Captain Král the same concerned look that he was sure was on his face. “How many?” The captain asked
Ricci hesitated for a moment before answering “37 ships with more arriving every couple of minutes.”
Commodore Allen swore
Captain Král looked at his friend, “How long until you get your crews and get out of here?”
Commodore Allen thought for a moment, “ Maybe 20 minutes at the minimum.”
Captain Král muttered to himself, “They’ll be here before that.”
Both men got up, signaled to any of their personnel in the bar, and started out the door. “I’ll buy you the time but I’ll need to undock as soon as I get aboard my ship, maybe I can catch them off-guard. “ Captain Král
Commodore Allen replied, “That’s a suicide mission, there are too many for one ship to handle”
“Yeah, I know, old friend but if I don’t then we all die.” Captain Král explained, “ Do me a favor, I’m going to send you my non-essential personnel, take them and those still on the station with you. Get them home.”
Reaching the hatch to the docking bay, both men stopped to shake hands. “Of course, Josef.” Commodore Allen replied, “But if anyone can find a way out of it, it’s you, my friend.”
After a final salute, both men parted ways to reach their ship. As Captain Král jogged down the docking bay, he sent orders for Ricci to send all non-essential personnel to Commodore Allen and asked if they had sufficient hands to man all combat stations.
Ricci’s reply reassured him, “ Aye Sir, most of the crew on the station are from the 2nd watch, and the few people from the first watch are non-essential.”
“Be ready to launch as soon as I get aboard.” He ordered.
He passed several members of his crew, en route to join Commodore Allen. He stopped to return their salute. At the disappointed look in their eyes, he told them. “I know you don’t want to leave the ship but the Commodore needs some real sailors to get out on time. You know how those logistic guys are. They’ll get lost trying to find their own bridge”
That look reassured them and after a final salute, they headed down the dock to join Commodore Allen
Captain Král reached the cargo ramp and started up it, calling Ricci and telling her to shove off and he’d be on the bridge shortly.
He sprinted down the corridor, leaping over the lower lips of the vacuum-tight doors.
“Captain on the Bridge!” rang out from one of the bridge techs. Aside from the guards and his XO, the rest of the bridge crew kept working. Nodding his approval at their knowing when to discard ceremony for action. He walked over toward his console before speaking.
“What do we have, Lt. Commander?”
Turning to face him, Captain Král could see just how worried she was. “Current count is 48 ships.” Touching the console’s keys to bring up a list of ships before continuing, “ 18 capital ships and a mix of sub-caps, still trying to ID them.”
“They’re just maintaining position for now.” Ricci finished, her voice slightly puzzled.
“They’re waiting for something or someone,” Captain Král answered the unasked question.
“How many crew did we leave behind?”
“641, Sir” the XO replied
“ Helm, are we clear of the station's shielding?”
“Almost Sir,” The helmsman answered.
“Thank you.” Captain Král returned.
Turning to another tech, he said, “Sound Battlestations”

“Sir,” one of his sensor techs spoke up, “We have 2 more ships arriving.”
“ Thank you, Ensign.” Captain Král returned
“What class are they?” Lt Commander Ricci asked
After looking at her monitor again the tech replied, “1 heavy cruiser and something much bigger, waiting for the computer to ID it.”
Captain Král moved to look over the tech’s shoulder before standing up and facing his XO.
“Fleet Command Ship” he informed the tech and his XO.
Lt. Commander Ricci replied, “What the hell is one doing out here?”
“Good Question.” he answered, “And now that the players are on the field, the game can begin.”
Bringing up the sensor information to his console, Captain Král pointed at the enemy fleet. “They haven’t begun to deploy into battle formation yet.”
“That could be our chance.” Raising his head to look at his XO. “If we jump now we can land close and surprise them. After we land, we drive into the center of their formation and head for that big bastard.” He explained
“But Sir, We haven’t fully tested the jump drive!” the XO exclaimed
“No time like the present, “ Captain Král joked

“We’ll let the railguns and autocannon crews pick targets of opportunity, while we engage the command ship with our particle cannons, heavy railguns, and torpedoes,” he stated
“What about its point defense system, won’t it pick off the torps?” the XO asked
“We’re going to launch all the Hammerheads at it. It should overwhelm the system and let the torps through.” He answered before continuing, “I’m going to save the heavy missiles for now.”
“You’ll need to calculate the launch time of the Hammerheads to hit the point defense system as close to the time for the torpedoes to sneak through.” he ordered, “ But not so far they take out the Hammerheads too soon and let them hit the torps but not so close they set them off either.”
Looking at his XO, “You better get down to tactical Nana, this is going to get ugly, and it’s best we split up.” Captain Král commanded
Exchanging salutes, Ricci simply replied “Aye Sir.” and started for the hatch. Just before stepping through, she turned and said, “Good Luck, Sir.
“What’s the status of the Commodore’s squad?” Captain Král asked
One of his communication techs spoke up, “ They need 10 more minutes”
“Let me know the minute they are clear.” Captain Král ordered
Captain Král turned to comms tech and ordered, “Intraship comms if you please ensign”
“Aye sir” the tech replied before turning to his console and speaking into the mic,” Now hear this, Now hear this. Message from the Captain.”
“ Well folks, this isn’t the fight I wanted but this is the fight we got” Captain Král started
“ I’m sure you’ve heard scuttlebutt about the situation but here it is. We are facing a superior force numbering 49 ships. And we need to give the Commodore’s squadron time to go to FTL and get the hell out of here.” he paused before continuing, “ The plan is to mix it up with the enemy at close range. They aren’t in battle formation yet so we can hurt them.”
“Good luck and let’s make them regret fucking with the Roanoke.”
The sounds of cheers came back over the speakers.
“Helm, are we clear of the station shielding?” the Captain asked
At the affirmative given by the helmsmen, he just nodded
Touching a button on his console, he asked, “Are you in place XO?”
“Aye Sir.” the Lt. Commander replied
“ As soon as we land, be ready to open up with the dual and quad mounts.” He ordered
The XO replied with an affirmative.
“Helm, at my command, jump between 25-50 km to the starboard of the fleet.”
“As soon as we land, hard to port and get us in the middle of them. Be ready for rapid maneuvers, maybe we can throw off their laser battery tracking systems. Might let us survive a little longer” Captain Král ordered. “Aye Sir” the helmsman replied
Taking a quick look around to make sure his crew was ready, he turned back to wait for the signal the jump drive was ready.
At the signal, he ordered “Jump”
He felt the ship lurch forward and shudder. It took less than 5 seconds to jump from the station to within the targeted range, but it felt like forever.
And then they were less than 5 km from an enemy battleship.
“Oh shit!” exclaimed the helmsman and steered to avoid it. Captain Král hid a moment of panic with a joke, “ Someone make note that the jump drive targeting system needs work.”
His joke brought a chuckle from his crew and got them back to focus on the taste.
Stabbing a button on his console, he ordered “XO, fire secondary batteries,”
There was nothing to see or hear from the massive volleys of the secondary batteries coming to life. But he knew the gun crews were already raining devastation on enemy warships. “Helm, Hard to Port!” he ordered, not tearing his view away from the main viewscreen.
Captain Král looked at his console at the images sent to the bridge from the various gun cameras.
He could see the flashes of light from projectiles hitting their shields. He watched as other high-velocity projectiles punched through their hulls. He could just make out the impact of the explosive-tipped slugs fired by the autocannons.
Captain Král turned back to the main viewscreen. “Hard to starboard!”
“Head for that big son of a bitch!” he ordered
The Naalx were slow to respond but they began to return fire with some trying to gain some distance to clear the line of fire of other ships. The helmsman’s evasive maneuvers were also giving the enemy’s gunners fits from repeated misses.
But the damage sensors on the armor told of an increasing number of hits as the Naalx began to respond in an organized manner. The resistance coating reduced the damage from the Naalx laser batteries but didn’t completely nullify it. “Helm, get me a clear shot at the command ship.” the Captain ordered
A bright flash to starboard marked the death of an enemy cruiser. Status reports listed 2 sub-capitals holed and venting atmosphere. Dead or damaged, they were out of the fight.
One capital ship was dead in space with another missing its bow.
5 down too damn many to go The captain muttered
He watched and waited, ignoring damage alarms and the occasional shudder as shots began to get through the armor and explosively decompress a compartment when they penetrated the hull.
He finally saw what he wanted, an unobstructed line of fire to the command ship.
His finger smashed down on the console button. “ XO, Launch Torpedoes. Take the gloves off the main batteries. Drop the hammer!”
He watched the glitter of the particle beams as they bridged the gap between the Roanoke and the Naalx ship. In a moment, he caught sight of the torpedoes' thrusters as they left the tubes and picked up momentum. Holes and brief explosions marked the impact of his weapons. But the sheer volume of Naalxian fire was beginning to take its toll. The armor was failing or had failed in over a dozen spots. 3 autocannon and 1 railgun mount were out of commission.
2 minutes after they launched the torpedoes, the sight of more than 100 Hammerhead missiles was marked by the flare of their drives. Another volley of Hammerheads was launched the moment new missiles were lifted into the racks.
Captain Král called down to tactical, “XO, hold off on another volley for hammerheads.”
Checking his console, “Launch Shrikes at targets of opportunity with no shields, rear tubes target enemy capital ships and hope those torpedoes get through.” he ordered.
Multiple small explosions let him know the point defense systems were taking on the Hammerheads. And a moment later, a pair of massive explosions told him the nuclear-tipped torpedoes had hit their target.
“Captain, The Commodore’s squadron has escaped.” one of his techs announced.
“Thank you,” he answered
“Distance to command ship?” he asked
“ 250 km Sir” was the reply
“Helm, continue advancing on the command ship and pass her on our port side. We’ll give her a broadside and go to FTL after we clear.”
A tech from the damage control position spoke up, “Captain! FTL is down and jump drive is destroyed”
“Ahh hell’ cried the Captain.
“Damage report!” he ordered
“ Ventral turret destroyed, railgun mounts 2 and 5 destroyed, mount 9 damaged but functional. Autocannon mounts 11,13, 23 and 25 destroyed. Hammerhead launchers 3 and 8 destroyed.” The tech checked the screen before continuing, “ Explosive decompressions on decks 3 and 5. Explosive decompression in Med Bay. Ablative armor badly damaged and penetrated in around 20 spots. Engine #3 is down. Power unstable in many areas of the ship”
“FTL down, engineering needs an hour to fix. The jump drive is destroyed. Long-range comms are down” The tech finished.
“Casualty reports!” Captain Král ordered
A different tech replied, “249 dead, roughly 800 wounded with 327 too injured to fight.”
“Thank you.” he returned. Doing the math in his head he had just over 1300 combat effective and 482 of those were his Marines, the other 18 were left behind.
After thinking a moment, “Helm, same course as before but since we can’t go to FTL, circle to the aft of the command ship and lessen the incoming fire for the moment”
Looking over to the comms tech, “ Get me the chief engineer on the horn.”
Tapping the switch on the console, he called down to tactical. “ XO, I’m taking us around to the aft of the command ship and play peek-a-boo.”
“We’ll pass on her port side and I want a broadside from all batteries that can hit it and launch half the Shrikes we have left at it.”
“After we get to their rear, target enemy aft batteries, I want them all hunks of twisted metal.” Captain Král ordered
“Aye Sir.” Lt. Commander Ricci replied. “Ammo count update Sir.”
“Go ahead,” he replied
“Only the two forward tubes are loaded, aft tubes empty, railgun and autocannon are down to 30%. Dorsal turret is at 10% but they are working on transferring surviving ammo from the Ventral turret.
We can launch 4 more full racks of Shrikes and 5+ Hammerheads.” She finished
“Understood. Thank you” Captain Král replied
“Captain, Chief Engineer on the line” a tech relayed
“Route it to my console,” he ordered
“ I need you to place charges on the computer core, all the experimental equipment, engines, and fire suppression control. If we go down, I don’t want them getting a damn thing but blood and pain.”
“Aye Sir.” The Chief replied.

Captain Král turned back to watch as the Roanoke passed the command ship to port. He watched as massive explosions rippled across the enemy flank and dorsal surface. They were too close for the point defense to pick off the majority of the Shrikes.
As the Roanoke got behind and slightly below the enemy command ship, she slowed and allowed her surviving batteries to silence the command ship's aft batteries.
Captain Král called down to tactical, “XO, fire half our remaining hammerheads into her engines.”
“Affirmative,” replied the XO
Captain Král watched as the hammerheads impacted the command ship’s engines and saw the thrust nozzles dim as the engines went offline. The enemy batteries stopped firing and she began to drift.
“Helm, get us 500 km from the command ship and line up to fire our last 2 avalanche torpedoes.” Captain Král ordered
“Aye Sir, 500km bow towards the enemy” the helmsman repeated
The Captain called down to tactical ” Nana, We’re positioning the ship to line up the front tubes and we’re going to kill that bastard. Stay on the line and fire on my order.”
“Aye Sir, we’re ready.” The XO answered
“Helm?” Captain Král asked
“ 3 seconds Captain.” the helmsman replied
Captain Král watched and as soon as he got the angle he wanted, “Fire Torpedoes!” he commanded
The whole bridge crew watched and waited for the impact. Both torpedoes struck amidships and tore massive holes in the hull. As they watched, lines of explosions traveled across the hull and began to rip the ship in half. The bridge crew let out a yell and the rest of the ship after the Captain had the information broadcast over the intercom.

“ Helm, get us the hell out of here. Maybe we can outrun the bigger ships and buy time to fix the FTL.” Captain Král ordered
But before the helmsman could act, there was a massive jolt.
“What the hell?” he yelled
A tech answered, “ We were rammed by a Naalx cruiser and several smaller ships are closing in.“
But instead of ramming the Roanoke, they launched breeching pods.
His finger stabbed down to open the intercom. “ All hands, Prepare to Repel Boarders! Security teams, tactical will relay their access position. “ He ordered
He pulled out his sidearm and checked that it was ready. Several other techs did the same, while his security detachment moved to defensive positions to watch the hatch.
“Target those pods!” Captain Král ordered but he didn’t need to say it, his gunnery crews were on it. Here and there a brief flash of light marked the destruction of a pod.

“XO, fire all remaining missiles. Pick your targets,” he commanded “All batteries, open fire.”
He left the tac net open to track the status of the enemy boarding parties.
He listened to the cacophony of noises coming over the tac net.
“Security team alpha to section 7, level 3. Bravo team section 2 level 1, Charlie team section 12, level 5” Lt. Commander Ricci ordered.
“There’s too many, fall back to position 2…” an unidentified voice ordered
Another voice firmly stated, “Hold your ground, nothing gets past us.”
“Theta team down, a handful of Naalx heading for engineering!” a panicked voice exclaimed
And dozens of others just like it, always with the sound of combat in the background.
“Captain, more breaching pods en route!” a tech exclaimed
“Get me the Chief Engineer!” the Captain ordered
At the Chief Engineer’s response, he ordered “Detonate all sabotage charges except the main computer. Set that one on a manual trigger at my console with a 20-minute timer as a backup. And then set the reactors to overload, we’re not going to hold the ship much longer. And set a charge to breach the hull and decompress Engineering as soon as you are clear”
“Affirmative, Captain. She was a good ship” the Chief replied
Turning to his bridge crew, “Give the order to abandon ship. Have all the pods head for the station.”
The Captain called tactical, “Lt. Commander Ricci, all hands abandon ship. Get as many of them home as you can.”
“ I understand, Sir.” She answered, “I’ll see you at the station.” she said hopefully
“I'm afraid not, Nana. I’m the Captain and I’m going down with my ship.” he stated, “And someone needs to make sure they can’t shut down the overload.”
“Transfer all fire controls to my station and get the hell out of here.”
“Aye Sir, It’s been an honor” the XO replied
“The honor is all mine. You are going to make an excellent Captain. Goodbye my friend” Captain Král finished.
His bridge crew tried to convince him to go with them but he declined and ordered security to get them into the escape pods.
Then he sat and watched as his consoles began reporting each pod as it launched. He also kept an eye on his sensors and concentrated fire on any Naalx ship that was moving to intercept the pods. They knew better than to fire on them but nothing said they couldn’t capture them.
He also prepared a probe with all the ship logs and combat data and fired it toward human-held territory. It would run silently until it exited the system and then begin broadcasting a coded signal for pickup.
He was dismayed at how few pods had left the ship and regretted so many young lives had been cut short.
As he saw the last pod clear the battlefield, he sat back for a moment and then triggered the charge on the main computer.
A hard pounding came from the other side of the hatchway. But there wasn’t enough power to open it. He guessed the pinging on the door was them firing their lasers and trying to blast it open.
He wondered if it would work but a huge rumble, a bright flash, interrupted, and the long career of Captain Král was finally over.
News of the Roanoke’s final battle flashed across news channels on hundreds of worlds. Her courageous and foolhardy charge at a superior force. The damage she did to the Naalx fleet before her destruction. How, of the 1859 members of the crew that went into the battle, only 108 survived.
The videos taken from both sides during the battle played over and over again.
How the Naalx picked up all the escape pods and released them on the station immediately.
And even recovered the bodies of any human they found while gathering their dead.
Naalx losses were the command ship, 2 capital ships, 9 sub-capitals destroyed, and a dozen other vessels damaged in one form or another. Naalx casualties were over 50,000 dead
Only the Naalx’s immense respect for courage, audacity, and bravery in the face of danger kept the skirmish from blowing up into a war.
The Naalx rendered full military honors as they turned the Human dead over to Lt. Commander Ricci.
The Captain Král, A Grenville-class cruiser, was launched 2 years later. Captain Nana Ricci in command.
Authors note- I hope you enjoyed this story. It's based on a historical event. Which according to an idiot on youtube is plagiarism.
If you feel like leaving a tip https://ko-fi.com/tomcarey

version: '3.8' # sample compose for a nextcloud all in one container, running behind a nginx proxy manager # (optionally) uses portainer to give a better overview of the docker environment and the running containers # # the network here is using fixed ip addesses for some hosts, as the nextcloud setting # NC_TRUSTED_PROXIES needs an ip address to relate to. # # Note: the data of npm and portainer container are stored in local folder instead of volumes. # you need to create these folders or comment these lines # # questions? post to https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one/discussions/4240 # # 4lexRed services: npm: container_name: npm image: 'jc21/nginx-proxy-manager:latest' restart: 'always' ports: # These ports are in format : - both MUST be open - '80:80' # Public HTTP Port - [I myself disable port 80 after the setting up the ssl certificates - as most traffic is https nowadays] - '443:443' # Public HTTPS Port # Admin Web Port - disable as soon as the NPM is running and you set up a route on localhost and port 81 # see here https://github.com/NginxProxyManagenginx-proxy-manageissues/1658 # - '81:81' # enable if you want to access the npm service via [your.server.ip.address:81] # Add any other Stream port you want to expose # - '21:21' # FTP volumes: # These volumes are in format : - '/docker_data/npm_data:/data' - '/docker_data/npm_letsencrypt:/etc/letsencrypt' # - '/opt/npm_logs/etc:/etc/nginx/conf.d:ro' # for ip ban # - '/opt/npm_logs/logs:/valog/nginx:rw' # for ip-ban environment: # Uncomment this if you want to change the location of the SQLite DB file within the container # DB_SQLITE_FILE: "/data/database.sqlite # changing the user id may lead to PORT 80 not being reachable # PUID: 1000 # PGID: 1000 # DISABLE_IPV6: 'true' # Uncomment this if IPv6 is not enabled on your host (WAN interface) TZ: "Europe/Berlin" # the timezone of the server healthcheck: test: ["CMD", "/usbin/check-health"] interval: 10s timeout: 3s # Either use netmorke mode or networks. # Both at the same time is not possible. # Nextcloud AIO recommends in their guide to set it to network_mode: host. # https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one/blob/main/reverse-proxy.md#adapting-the-sample-web-server-configurations-below # But I dislike to do this and instead have all traffic going through the npm using the networks approach. # network_mode: host # for details in the docs see https://docs.docker.com/compose/compose-file/05-services/#network_mode networks: # Is needed when you want to create the nextcloud-aio network with ipv6-support using this file, see the network config at the bottom of the file nextcloud-aio: aliases: - npm ipv4_address: '172.18.0.2' # # # # # # # # # # # # # portainer usage is optional. you can delete these lines if you are fine with monitoring the state via the cli. portainer: container_name: portainer image: portaineportainer-ce:latest restart: always security_opt: - no-new-privileges:true ports: # when uncommented, these ports are publicly accessable [bypassing the npm] by calling [your.server.ip.address:9000] # so disable them when the npm is set up to forward the port 9443 when calling docker.myhostname.com (or whichever your subdomain for the portainer is) - 9000:9000 - 9443:9443 volumes: - /etc/localtime:/etc/localtime:ro - /varun/docker.sock:/varun/docker.sock:ro - '/docker_data/portainer_data:/data' # the data folder of the portainer networks: nextcloud-aio: aliases: - portainer ipv4_address: '172.18.0.3' # # # # # # # # # # # # # The nextcloud All in one container # see https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#faq nextcloud: image: nextcloud/all-in-one:latest init: true restart: always container_name: nextcloud-aio-mastercontainer # This line is not allowed to be changed as otherwise AIO will not work correctly volumes: - nextcloud_aio_mastercontainer:/mnt/docker-aio-config # This line is not allowed to be changed as otherwise the built-in backup solution will not work - /varun/docker.sock:/varun/docker.sock:ro # May be changed on macOS, Windows or docker rootless. See the applicable documentation. If adjusting, don't forget to also set 'WATCHTOWER_DOCKER_SOCKET_PATH'! ports: - 8080:8080 # this is the port of the admin interface used for the setup of NC-AIO # - 5080:80 # Can be removed when running behind a web server or reverse proxy (like Apache, Nginx, Cloudflare Tunnel and else). See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one/blob/main/reverse-proxy.md # - 8443:8443 # Can be removed when running behind a web server or reverse proxy (like Apache, Nginx, Cloudflare Tunnel and else). See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one/blob/main/reverse-proxy.md environment: - NEXTCLOUD_TRUSTED_DOMAINS = nextcloud.poolvos.com # the dns name under which your nextcloud should be accessable - APACHE_PORT=11000 # Is needed when running behind a web server or reverse proxy (like Apache, Nginx, Cloudflare Tunnel and else). # See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one/blob/main/reverse-proxy.md - APACHE_IP_BINDING=0.0.0.0 # Should be set to '0.0.0.0' when running behind a web server or reverse proxy (like Apache, Nginx, Cloudflare Tunnel and else) that is running on the same host. # See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one/blob/main/reverse-proxy.md # If set to 0.0.0.0 the apache will listen to all http requests, no matter what their target ip address is - NEXTCLOUD_UPLOAD_LIMIT=100G # Can be adjusted if you need more. See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-adjust-the-upload-limit-for-nextcloud - NEXTCLOUD_DATADIR=/mnt/nfs-storage/my_foldenextcloud_data # Allows to set the host directory for Nextcloud's datadir. ⚠️⚠️⚠️ Warning: do not set or adjust this value after the initial Nextcloud installation is done! See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-change-the-default-location-of-nextclouds-datadir - NEXTCLOUD_MOUNT=/mnt/nfs-storage/my_foldenextcloud_data2 # Allows the Nextcloud container to access the chosen directory on the host. See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-allow-the-nextcloud-container-to-access-directories-on-the-host # settings overwriting the config.php parameters - NC_TRUSTED_PROXIES="172.18.0.2" # this is the NPM proxy ip address in the docker network ! # - AIO_DISABLE_BACKUP_SECTION=false # Setting this to true allows to hide the backup section in the AIO interface. See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-disable-the-backup-section # - BORG_RETENTION_POLICY=--keep-within=7d --keep-weekly=4 --keep-monthly=6 # Allows to adjust borgs retention policy. See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-adjust-borgs-retention-policy # - COLLABORA_SECCOMP_DISABLED=false # Setting this to true allows to disable Collabora's Seccomp feature. See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-disable-collaboras-seccomp-feature # - NEXTCLOUD_MAX_TIME=3600 # Can be adjusted if you need more. See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-adjust-the-max-execution-time-for-nextcloud # - NEXTCLOUD_MEMORY_LIMIT=512M # Can be adjusted if you need more. See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-adjust-the-php-memory-limit-for-nextcloud # - NEXTCLOUD_TRUSTED_CACERTS_DIR=/path/to/my/cacerts # CA certificates in this directory will be trusted by the OS of the nexcloud container (Useful e.g. for LDAPS) See See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-trust-user-defined-certification-authorities-ca # - NEXTCLOUD_STARTUP_APPS=deck twofactor_totp tasks calendar contacts notes # Allows to modify the Nextcloud apps that are installed on starting AIO the first time. See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-change-the-nextcloud-apps-that-are-installed-on-the-first-startup # - NEXTCLOUD_ADDITIONAL_APKS=imagemagick # This allows to add additional packages to the Nextcloud container permanently. Default is imagemagick but can be overwritten by modifying this value. See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-add-os-packages-permanently-to-the-nextcloud-container # - NEXTCLOUD_ADDITIONAL_PHP_EXTENSIONS=imagick # This allows to add additional php extensions to the Nextcloud container permanently. Default is imagick but can be overwritten by modifying this value. See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-add-php-extensions-permanently-to-the-nextcloud-container # - NEXTCLOUD_ENABLE_DRI_DEVICE=true # This allows to enable the /dev/dri device in the Nextcloud container. ⚠️⚠️⚠️ Warning: this only works if the '/dev/dri' device is present on the host! If it should not exist on your host, don't set this to true as otherwise the Nextcloud container will fail to start! See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-enable-hardware-transcoding-for-nextcloud # - NEXTCLOUD_KEEP_DISABLED_APPS=false # Setting this to true will keep Nextcloud apps that are disabled in the AIO interface and not uninstall them if they should be installed. See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-keep-disabled-apps # - TALK_PORT=3478 # This allows to adjust the port that the talk container is using. See https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-adjust-the-talk-port # - WATCHTOWER_DOCKER_SOCKET_PATH=/varun/docker.sock # Needs to be specified if the docker socket on the host is not located in the default '/varun/docker.sock'. Otherwise mastercontainer updates will fail. For macos it needs to be '/varun/docker.sock' networks: # Is needed when you want to create the nextcloud-aio network with ipv6-support using this file, see the network config at the bottom of the file nextcloud-aio: aliases: - nextcloud ipv4_address: '172.18.0.4' volumes: # If you want to store the data on a different drive, see https://github.com/nextcloud/all-in-one#how-to-store-the-filesinstallation-on-a-separate-drive nextcloud_aio_mastercontainer: name: nextcloud_aio_mastercontainer # This line is not allowed to be changed as otherwise the built-in backup solution will not work networks: nextcloud-aio: ipam: driver: default config: - subnet: 172.18.0.0/24 

First of all I would like to premise this by making absolutely clear that I am NOT overreacting. You will soon find out if you read this post in its entirety.
The new user UI seemed innocent at first. But it soon became clear that Sonos’s aim is to not only to punish those with disability but create the very disability itself.
Now that I cannot properly search my music library I found my thumbs overextending in a repeated fashion. Repetitive overextension of hand digits is a literal recipe for carpal tunnel. My hands hurt and hopefully the newly made tunnel in my carpals is still small enough to heal without surgery.
The newfound stress and trauma has triggered a bout of tremors and sweating. Yes, you read that correctly: I am LITERALLY shaking. I am on my way to the pharmacy to pick up my propanolol that my doctor prescribed for this very ailment.
Now that I cannot fine tune the volume well enough and the bugs. I have had MORE THAN SEVERAL instances of my SONOS Arc playing past the recommended 65 decibels. I now cannot hear as well. I noticed that I now can no longer hear the dialogue in Love is Blind with the same level of clarity. And I now am forced to rewind key moments. As you can see, Sonos is seeking now to make us all INVALIDS.
Thankfully, APPLE has saved me once again. My apple watch Ultra Pro 2 has repeatedly caught this offending auditory attack on my ears and promptly sent me fleeing to safety. My heart rate monitor ensured to keep my BPMs below tachycardia (100 beats per minute) by slowing it down. More so, it has also rescued me from the brink by reminding me to stop and breathe.
This all begs the question—is the CEO Patrick Spence deaf? No, not tone deafness, but literal deafness. He was probably facing the same issues as I am now while testing the product and has literally been pretending to hear all of ours’s and his staff’s feedback but has been too cowardly to admit his ailment.
But Patrick is not just a coward, but evil. The “Control everything from the Internet” protocol switch is not just negligent and sloppy— it is a clear attempt to provide a direct line of audio transmission to the CCP. China has been growing their ever-expanding intellectual theft apparatus and this is a blatant collusion with big communism. Patrick has sold us all. These devices have become DANGEROUS. A national security risk.
Some have simply suggested taking their SONOS off of their business network and take them home. Are you kidding me? Will someone please think about the children? Do we want to put our own progeny at risk? These SONOS devices are literal hazards. And if you have a conscience, do not sell them to anyone but throw them away. But first make sure to disable them by cutting all power cords and pouring ionised water on them.
May 7th is a day that not only did we lose our trust in the consumer electronic corporation complex but in the human race as well.

The players have been made aware of this, and have agreed. This is not meant to be a discussion of railroading.
Each player, some in groups, have had, or will have a private session leading up to the official start. They all start in the same place, against their will. Each character has something unique about them, or valuable, that would be appealing to slave traders. A very popular line of work in this part of the world. With undead being pretty much eradicated, cheap labor had to come from elsewhere. The party are more special than cheap labor.
A orc who wanted to escape the violence of his people and live peacefully. The reputation of his kin follows him everywhere.
An elvish princess, a rare thing in a world where there's around 500 elves left.
A bounty hunter, apart of a very well known clan, who possesses many trade secrets and tools. Many want their revenge.
A pair of twins who stumbled upon artifacts they shouldn't have. Otherworldly powers, and an unfair debt owed.
This corner of the world attracts many tourists for the same reason LA or Vegas does. There is endless opportunity for those willing to work for it, or a life of luxury for those who can afford it. Streets are filled with gambling, and exotics imports from all over the world. Gladiator style areas however is what brings in the most. Warriors from all over to come to show off their strength, willingly or not. For slave traders, this is where the money is. A fighter who can put on a show is a very valuable thing, and why 3/5 of the characters start off as prisoners.
The orc, elf, and bounty hunter are from across the region. Kidnapped for purposes that will be revealed later to them, backstory elements coming into play that made them desirable and worth the risk. The twins are apart of the gang who takes them, but they are not involved with this part. They simple are muscle, and smuggle drugs around for the gang. Session 1 is the first time the twins meet the other side of the business, and it's not for a promotion.
The session starts with the twins arriving to the hideout. Located at an old mining operation in the middle of the desert, it has been fortified and turned into something more. The old gates reinforced to create an area, and the entrance into the mines a jail. Deeper inside has been turned into a temple of Anubis, the prominate god of the area, but not all is what it seems. The twins are brought here to witness a fight. An elf druid, one traveling with the elf princess at the time of her capture is in the area trying to talk an owlbear out of eating with with little success. He wild shapes into a small bird in an attempt to escape, only to be shot out of the sky immediately by a guard with a long rifle. His death is quick, and gruesome as the owlbear does its thing to the prone man.
Afterwards, the twins are escorted inside. Past the jail, into the deeper chambers where they meet their boss. A Dwarvish women who immediately comes across as disliking them. She wants to test the twins loyalty, and this is when the characters are all brought together. The other 3 characters are brought into the room. One by one they are shot by the boss, and brought back by a cleric of Anubis, leaving only the twins left standing. This is just a showing of how she's willing to get her hands dirty, cause the twins want something that belongs to her.
The twins last big job was a heist. They needed to retrieve a silver jewelry box, and they had one rule. Under no circumstances is that box opened. Well, it was, but not willingly. The jewelry box contained a scale of a mercury dragon - dragons are rare, god-like beings here, and a scale like this is akin to an artifact rarity magic item. This Mercury dragon just happens to be the patron of the brother now, as the scale absorbed into him, through no choice or fault of his own. The boss wanted this power to herself, and upon retrieving the box, it didn't appear to be opened. Imagine her disappointment when she found it was empty. The brother was the only one alone with the box.
The sister is presented a deal. Kill her brother, right here, right now. Prove her loyalty without question or they both die. This is the first major decision the players are able to make now. If she pulls the trigger, or not. The boss isn't stupid. The gun handed to the sister isn't loaded. It's simply a test. If both siblings are to be shot, or just the one. The ending is largely the same.
Bleeding out on the ground, the sister, and newly revived party members witness the corpse of the brother forcibly raised from the dead to answer questions. The location of the item in the box. If his sister knew he stole it. Is he still loyal. - my ruling of Speak with Dead is they don't have to answer, but if they do, the answer must not be a lie. He will be brought back, but his answers will determine later interactions. Now, the sister. Every player in the game will have moments in the spotlight. I decided to start with her, as it made most sense, and given the twins background, they will be key members to the party next chapter. She still has the empty gun. If she knows its empty or not will change a few small details. She too is a warlock, and this is the signing of her pact with the Hexblade.
Her interpretation of this place is her own to make. She awakes in a void, and although she is still herself here, she is consumed by nothingness. No pain, no sound, no feeling at all. Not even a heartbeat. Here she meets an entity. A "shadow" that mimics her every movement. It even shifts slightly, becoming a silhouette of herself. When she touches it, it is an overwhelming sense of feeling. Fireworks going off at the tip of her fingertips. The warmth of her blood becoming as hot as the sun, but somehow feels comforting compared to the nothingness shes felt for all this time. Outside seconds have past. Here, it could have been years, or seconds. Impossible to tell. But with this touch she hears a voice reach out to her. "Squeeze". She's back in the room, vision blurry as her life fades. Gun raised, aimed at her boss, who doesn't fear an empty gun. Only, it's no longer empty. This is her new pact weapon. It functions as a gun, but she can choose to shoot normal bullets or eldritch blast from it.
Their escape comes soon after. The hideout is attacked by a Sand Stalker - a purple-worm like creature. Other captives save them, and the campaigns first chapter begins here. They are in the middle of the desert, very limited supplies, uncertain where exactly they are. Few npc trying to get to the capital city to find help. The twins, bounty hunter, and other npc know that everyone who bares the mark of the clan will have bounties out on them, to be returned to their owners. The world in now open to them, as they learn how to free themselves of this debt one way or another.
The slave contract is as good as a deal with a devil. Legally binding, and magical in nature. Each master / house has its own distinct mark to show ownership. Once the debt is paid off, the mark will fade on its own. Their starting debt is 10k gp each. It is meant to be ridiculous. The bounty on a slave is always 10% of their total debt. So, 1k gp to return them if they job is put out, and it will be. If captured the reward money is added to the debt they owe, making it 11k gp now. The system is designed to be nearly impossible to be free.
In the main city there are several patrons willing to help them for one reason or another. Old contacts of the twins and bounty hunter in the party are expected to be called upon. There's multiple escapes from the city I have ready, and I am looking forward to what they come up with. I don't expect them to ever pay off their debt. The main story will later being them back here, when they're ready to take on the challenges of the city in full, and save the world. Standard stuff.
This is a new attempt at an intro. Throwing them into the fire with a clear goal. A long "cinematic" before giving them full control. They all know the stakes, and are in a position of "our chances are better together" apposed from the classic meeting in the tavern and dealing with rats.
Every character has elements from their backstory that matter here, and will drastically effect the campaign going forward. They had all known the basics of the intro, and details where they started prior to making characters. Changes were made to my plans based on their characters, incorporating them into it one way or another. There were always slavers, and they were always going to die. The twins backstories are the only ones from this region and they provided me a lot to work with, and ability to tie them into the scenario.
The boss killing and betraying the twins is a detail I think is very important. The other characters may see them as enemies, so by doing it this way they have common enemies and no secrets about it. Only the sister is not in debt, giving her a few special privilege's while in the city. All the players know each other, have played in other games together, and know what's expected. I am trying to make the party's coming together seem natural by immediately giving them a common problem and no one else to turn to. [BG3 SPOILERS] as the mindflayer parasites provided the main cast common problems, and Out of the Abyss first chapter being major influences. There are many other politics involved also, some sub plots that will come up later that tie to this, and a lot of world lore involved giving insight to why this region functions like this.

Hi all! Copying the link to an old post about my covert mil for those who chatted w me months ago about the drama (hope I’m doing this right)
https://www.reddit.com/JUSTNOMIL/s/hzNg3Migbd
So here we are… it’s been a few months now since I last posted about this. MIL and FIL has not mentioned seeing lo since I told hubby that I’m no longer putting energy into the relationship w his mother or her demands. She’s made it very clear she’s holding resentment and contempt toward me and I just had to draw the line for good. I’ve been dealing w some BP issues and other health scares and it all didn’t start until all this drama with husbands family (99.9% mil) and I’m trying to get my mind and body where I want it to be before we look to have another baby. Boy… it’s been hard that’s for sure.
Husband got news that his father has possibly been diagnosed with cancer. More tests are to come this week but from what he told me… it seems very evident that cancer is what’s to come, an aggressive lung cancer at that. Husband works for his dad … our livelihood is tied into this business and I’m a bit worried on what the heck is about to take place. The business hasn’t been doing that great and I’ve been telling my husband for years now to have a back up plan in case the business folded OR because of his dad’s health… (his dads health has always been a worry of mine). I don’t want to press the issue about finances and the business at this time given the circumstances but I have no clue what to expect. Nor, how nasty the mil and family are going to be toward my husband (because of the very lc/nc with his mom and family) however he is the closest to his dad that is basically diagnosed with cancer. I’ve been wrecking my brain the last few days about the nightmare that’s approaching, although, I do know God will work it out like everything else that flips upside down in my life.
I guess I’m anticipating mil to start her crap and leave my husband financially stranded behind his dad’s business … in this economy and state of affairs in this country/ world I’m not sure how we’re going to financially get through this without depending on family. Am I overreacting ? Please be kind. Thanks so much.

A few weeks ago, someone posted a link to one of Don’s rants and I went through and commented on each of the points. I can't find that post, but I had copied it over here: https://www.reddit.com/perpetualeducation/comments/1c7k9re/donthedeveloper_on_a_rant_about_how_aspiring/
We had a chat about it. Here’s the video/podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHmqZkC3LqU&lc
Don titled it: There's a MASSIVE Skill Gap Among New Developers
I'll attempt to write a bit about that - (even though we went over many other topics - and I'm having a hard time grouping them)
It’s easy to simplify this into “the market” or “the boot camp” or “the tech stack” or "what's fair" or "the resume" - but I think people are missing the various multidimensional aspects at play. Is it:
Is it all of those things - and more? (Yes). And it's "the student" too." We're all different (cue reading rainbow moment). But it's true. Some of us are slower. Some of us are faster but miss the details. Some of us have a background that alignes neatly with tech. Some of us already know what job we want and why - and other people just want to make a good bet on a stable career. No matter what zone you're in, we still have to face the music - and deal with (trigger alert) - the truth.
The market is real. Companies aren't aggressively hireing random barely capable developers right now (like they have in the past). They're scared and holding on to their money. They also kinda realized they were spending more money on middle management and probably developers too - and are going to need some time to figure out how to make profitable businesses (or how to keep getting more VC funding to burn through).
But if there's a huge gap between your skills/experience and what it takes to do the job you're applying for, none of the other factors matter.
Many people choose a coding boot camp based on superficial factors like the price, the timeline, the website design, and the sales pitch. They often don't consider other important aspects because they simply don't know better. This isn’t unlike any other product or service or school.
Some people pick out a boot camp and learn a bunch of awesome stuff and they go out there and start a new career and for some reason, they don’t come back to Reddit to tell us about it. There are some legit colleges and boot camps and other alternative learning paths out there - that are really great. It's just a fact.
If you read the bootcamp marketing, paid your tuition, went through the steps they lined out, and came out the other end unable to get that job they promised you, well - that’s awkward. Maybe for you, it’s that simple. If you feel like you got a raw deal, I’m sorry. There are some businesses that should be ashamed of themselves - but they won't be. All you can do is warn other people. That’s over now. We can only work with the present.
For people who really want to work in this industry - they'll keep moving forward: at the end of the day, this is the playing field. So, if you want to get off the bench, we’re going to have to design a path to that – and you might need to rethink some of your assumptions.
It could certainly be said that new developers are now expected to know about–and have experience with–a lot more things.
Are the expectations that someone brand new to development is going to be able to get a job unreasonable? Well, does it matter what someone’s opinion about that is? You either want the job - or you don’t. And you need to know how to do the job, or no one will hire you. Do you need to know everything on this huge list to get an entry level position https://roadmap.sh/javascript ? (no) (in fact - close that - and don’t ever look at it again)
When I started (at the age of ~30) (in ~2011), you needed to know HTML, CSS, (Probably some PhotoShop to get your assets), maybe a little PHP (and likely HTTP and more about URLs and request types and forms), FTP and DNS to get your site hosted, and maybe some JavaScript. You might have used jQuery to help out or Knockout.js. And you had to know how to hook up a database and MySQL and probably a CMS or some sort. And maybe your code was a mess or maybe it adhered to some common patterns. But that was life. Not everyone needed to know all those things. Some people would focus more on getting the mockup into the HTML and CSS. Other people might focus on the server and the PHP or Perl or Java. There were all sorts of jobs and some of them were done by people with a formal education in Computer Science studies and other people just figured it out as needed. There was a lot of work to be done. Lots of custom stuff to build and maintain. And it was just normal to learn more incrementally as the years went by. You could totally get a job knowing just HTML and CSS (and you still can BTW). There was still an infinite amount of things you could know. But it seemed to ramp up naturally because we were closer to the grain of The Web.
So, what do people learn now? (Generally) They rush through some HTML and CSS really quick (which actually teaches them more bad habits than good). They rarely learn about DNS or FTP because a tutorial showed them how to type a few random things into a terminal to have their site on a free service and they don’t buy a domain name because there’s a free subdomain. Apparently paying for anything is for suckers and companies that don't give you things for free are evil capitalistic pigs who should be shut down. New devs don’t know much about servers because their text editor is actually running an advanced web application behind the scenes that starts a virtual server and runs all sorts of other things they don’t understand outside of that context - like connecting to version control, opening a terminal pane, SSH, code completion and typeahead, autoimport completion, AI suggestions and other additional layers like typescript and many other linters to tell them where all their errors are. If they couldn't use VSCode - they might be dead in the water. It can feel like you’re just a bag of meat being yelled at by VSCode as you try and solve the errors and remove all the red lines. And we do all of these - to put the training wheels in place.
And I’m not saying that a LAMP stack doesn’t have it’s own level of black-box and mysteries with how Apache handles your HTTP requests and MySQL starts up it’s own server - but we have to be comfortable with some level of abstraction or we’d be writing all ones and zeros at the machine code level.
So, the new developer is manning this huge stack of tools unknowingly, but they do get a lot of benefits. We can spin up a pretty complex web application with a front-end to make requests, a server to talk to a database and other third-party systems and respond back to the client/front-end, and an auth layer to make sure people are properly signing in and only seeing what they need to see. There are abstractions for HTML and CSS and JS that put that template logic and controller logic into a neat little component file (which is great) and that component file is properly registered based on file name conventions and everything gets set up in this larger system of conventions that all happen behind the scenes in the framework architecture. So, as a new developer - you can really ride the framework and know hardly anything about how it works - as long as you know the language to speak to this layer of the abstraction (the API).
These aren't just arbitrary add-ons that people made to complicate things. They solve real-world problems. The new dev won't really understand what they are - but I'm not saying we should just get rid of them. They allow us to move faster and to build interfaces and business logic without having to write tons of behind the scenes repeated structural code by hand. And with those training wheels, we have more time on our hands. We can also add in the chance to further define our programs with safety measures and plan automated testing routines, and built-in documentation of our code base. We can keep adding layers and layers or pull in more and more third-party tools. It’s pretty amazing. But what people end up learning is how to maintain that configuration - and there’s only so much time - and so, they end up learning 10% of all the things you used to need/want to know. And some jobs have a path for that. But there's likely going to be a long-term cost for you.
Arguably - it doesn’t matter how much “code” you know - and making things is what matters. And that’s true. That’s what matters to the business that pays you. And to the school that wants you to feel good about your progress. But I think you should protect your learning journey. It’s for you. It’s going to be what you carry on throughout the years and it’s a seed.
Getting proficient with a popular tech stack - when the market is booming proved to be a great decision for boot camps and their students. And I'd bet that the majority of people mean well.
But when it's not booming, students are in it for the wrong reasons, schools have tightened up and moved online, the market has plenty of devs who already have 5+ years working with that framework/stack -- then all of the sudden - the surface-level fake-it-till-you-make-it path (as much as I respect that) doesn't work as well. You're going to have to put in some more energy.
When it's obvious that you can't build an HTML page with semantic markup, that's accessible, and has a universally pleasurable experience, and you can't write CSS without a UI framework or do anything custom, it's obvious. You should be aware of that gap. When you've never owned a domain name or setup a deployment pipeline, you should be aware of that gap. When your personal website looks like your boot camp gave it to you, you should be aware of how that looks. When you can't take a server-side scripting language like Python or Go or PHP and build out a little personal website framework - you should be aware of that gap. When you can't plan a project and don't have experience with diagrams and explaining things, you need to be aware of that gap. When you've never written about your process or created any case-studies to explain your projects, you should be aware of that gap. When you're only proof of work is the class assignments, you should be aware of that gap. When your github history goes dead after the last day of class, you should be aware that we'll see that. When you claim to no nothing about visual design and that's for someone else on the team - you should be aware of that gap. If you refuse to turn on your camera and just want to be left alone, you should be aware of that huge gap. If you can't build a little prototype app without React, they you probably don't JavaScript, and you should be aware of that gap. And there will ALWAYS be a gap. There's always more to learn. So - it's an important skill to know what to learn and why - and when. You can't learn everything. And if you're having a hard time finding work right now, then get clear on your goal. Stop applying for general "Software engineer" jobs you aren't ready for. Narrow your scope. Figure out a job that you think you can do confidently. Get clear on how big your gap is and what you need to learn to get centered and confident with your toolset. Ideally, it's fun. Try and ignore all the doom and gloom and focus on your own personal goal.
It's not just the market. Too many people are applying for jobs they aren't anywhere near qualified to do. And it probably doesn't feel good. But luckily - you can learn the things and get back on track.

I might have made a (tiny) shift to here before my account was even created.
Ok, first of all, apologies for yet another long-ass novel from me, and for not posting this with a clear takeaway in mind. I don't find small unintentional shift posts like "my carpet changed color!!" the most exhilarating either, but it's my turn! Hopefully I manage to put enough substance into it with my words, I just had to share this asap.
So come today, I'm with family and a specific "number" comes up in conversation. I don't want to mention what this is due to privacy something-something - but, this number is something that's pretty significant for me. Someone in my family gets this number wrong. I very gracefully correct them... but they double-down on it. This is where red flags start going off in my head, so I just deflect the conversation and say I might be going crazy (and consider that possibility myself lol). Now, I have to reiterate, this number is pretty significant, and has been reinforced throughout my whole life, it relates to something, it's not just an abstract number in a password or something. Like imagine the months of the year changing order. All of a sudden, I find out that I'm all alone in this battle. Everyone else is singing the same note and I'm tonedeaf. That number has actually changed in reality, for no one else but me.
Ok, as I established, forgetting or brain fog is out of the question. The other possibility except for shifting, is actually going nuts, and I feel surprisingly sane for a crazy person. Although I guess that's what every crazy person thinks, so dear voices in my head, please confirm I'm not crazy in the comments haha. Anyways, so all of this got me thinking, when would the shift had happened? When was the last time this number got "tested" in front of my eyes like this and came out correct? And did something out of the ordinary happen in that time frame, besides me falling asleep in the middle of a method every night lol.
And this leads me into sidestory time. I've mentioned this story before, but this might have reinforced it. You see, before I made this account I was a pure lurker. I wasn't necessarily writing off shifting, more like I was still in a consideration phase - is this something I want in my life, what would I do with it, and is it worth becoming active in the community, having yet another distaction to adhd over, etc. (yes). That was my status quo, until a pretty complicated incident happened in my close circle. Again, sorry for leaving it up to the imagination, but when something involves someone else I'm close to, I'm a private person. What it boiled down to in the end was that I was forced to choose between actions that didn't feel like me, and that idea was stressing me out to infinity.
That very night is when all considerations went out the window, I had come into a new potential avenue to solve my unsolvable issues - shifting - and I was taking out all the brakes off the rollercoaster. I just fell asleep in utter desperation, repeating something along the lines of "I really don't need this to happen rn, I'll just shift to change it and never even know". Why the "never even know"? I still regret that part, but I guess it was because I was still in the consideration period back then. I was worried that shifting might potentially make life more meaningless somehow, like make life and free will feel more fake. So unfortunately, as much as I go on to retroactively prove to myself it worked, I'll never really know that it did. I set myself up. But yeah, if it wasn't clear, the next day I found out that voila - I had actually really misunderstood the incident and everything turns out trivial. Wow, another case where everyone else is in agreement on reality and I'm the only one out of order lol. What led me to this story, is that the last time I can remember comparing that previously mentioned number in my head, with itself in the external world, happened before that shifting incident. So I have a hunch I may not have unintentionally shifted, but that number changing is just a side product of that night. Why it changed or what it means? Still can't answer, that mystery isn't getting solved.
TL:DR; A huge thing changed for me. And it's possibly not even an unintentional shift, but connected to a desperate attempt to shift before I was even interested in shifting or had this account. In that attempt I cucked present-self not to know I shifted, so I might just have brain worms.
But anyways, what are the takeaways from this, what can be done with this information? The question isn't rhetorical, I'm really curious to hear your thoughts. As with everything, there must be a way to utilize the awareness of small or unintentional shifts.
What I could come up with was: First, the most obvious one - to reinforce the ideas behind LOA. After a successful shift, logically LOA becomes more natural to the shifter. Although unintentional/unbeknownst to me in this case, it still gives some rise to the idea. And this doesn't have to apply only to me, hopefully by reading this post, another tiny crack opens up in your own doubts too.
The other thing I'm considering, is whether I should try changing this number back. It's already bugging me anyways and it hasn't even been a day. My memories of my entire aware life were of a different number. So maybe it's possible that shifting will come to me easier if I just tried to change this one thing back before I'm used to it, rather than going for an entirely different reality first? I honestly want to hear someone more experienced's opinion on this, has it been more effortless for anyone to make smaller changes? Leave aside the fact that it's technically manifestation at that point, or that technically in my case I might have already shifted intentionally before.
And that's all I have in mind for now. Again, sorry for long, I tried to jerk my funny bone a little bit so hopefully that makes up for it 🍀

This is the first time I have written something of this length, and is more of an exercise in self-therapy than anything else. Disclaimer: This story contains conversations about child abuse. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy it.
Nathan’s number appeared on my phone screen. I debated whether or not to answer it. We hadn’t been on speaking terms for a while, and while we did keep in touch sporadically, it was usually because of important family issues. I didn’t know of anything happening with mom or dad, nor with Talia or Rio, so I let it go to voicemail. I could always call him back later. I placed the phone back in my pocket, and returned to cleaning my camera. The phone buzzed again. A text message came through. I read the preview line from the home screen. “The city declared eminent domain on the house” I unlocked my phone, read the full text message, and dialed my brother.
I wasn't able to get any closer to the house than a few blocks. Most of the area was blocked off with chain link fencing and construction equipment in preparation for the demolition that was supposed to take place within the coming days. The barriers didn’t prevent people from walking in to the neighborhood, but it hindered scrappers from coming in and stripping the houses of copper wiring and plumbing.
I grabbed my camera bag out of the trunk of my car along with my tripod. I shouldered it and hooked the tripod to my bag. I pulled my water bottle out of the center console and shut the door. I stood next to my car surveying the neighborhood. 12 city blocks of old single family homes comprised the neighborhood where I grew up. Some of the houses had been empty for months, others for years. There was an eerie silence that permeated the still air. I could not hear the familiar sounds of people, pets, or cars. I locked the car and put my keys in my pocket. I patted my jacket down to ensure I had what I needed. After a quick check, I started my walk.
The sidewalk of the old neighborhood streets still bore the familiar cracks and grind marks from years of buckling and remedy. Leaves dropped by the trees still lay scattered all along the pathways and sidewalk. Korina’s house was the first house I encountered as I made my way through a gap in the fence. The yard was overgrown with tall grass and thistle. I could see the faded blue paint of the old house contrasting the green and browns of the lawn. The chain link fence that marked off the corner property was nearly invisible through the thick brush. As I continued walking west towards 110th, I started to feel something was off. The streets seemed wider than I remembered. It took me longer than I’d like to admit, but eventually I realized what was different. There were no cars.
The streets here typically had cars lined bumper to bumper in any spot available, and were visible from block to block. The absence of all these vehicles made me realize just how deserted the neighborhood really was. House after house, yard after yard, the telltale signs of desertion reinforced what I could see from the moment I passed the construction fence: This was no longer my neighborhood. There were no signs of life, and no one I could expect to find still here. Abandonment was the new normal here. I continued on, glancing at houses and recalling memories of summer bike rides, and daily walks with dogs I used to have. I remembered walks home from school, and chasing after ice cream trucks when they passed our houses. I smiled a bit as I remembered more and more of my years spent here. I don’t quite know just why I was smiling. There were plenty of bad memories here too. Fights, yelling, being beat up, being robbed. I could remember failed friendships, lost loves, and bitter feelings of failures too.
Still, I felt a certain amount of nostalgia despite the weight of these negative feelings. I almost wanted to experience everything again, although I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way. Concrete, asphalt, billboards and liquor stores were the normal vistas of everyday life. Occasionally, after a good rainstorm, the grey haze of smog would lift, and the mountains would be visible to the north. At least, they would be visible until mid-morning when the exhaust from a million cars covered them behind a veil of pollution.
It wasn’t until the first time I travelled out of the city that I realized there was more to see. Traveling up the coast north along the Pacific Coast Highway introduced me to scenes of deep blue ocean water spanning the width of my vision. Driving up Highway 3 introduced me to the permeating scent of Pine and Fir trees. The two-lane stretch of highway from Portland to Tillamook introduced me to lush green forests that I had only ever read about. When I came home to the same old dirty, dusty concrete and boiling summer asphalt, I had made up my mind. I would do everything it took to leave this place. I would not spend another day longer than was necessary living in cramped quarters and fighting for parking space.
I arrived to the house, and paused at the gate. The house sat in contrast of what the rest of the neighborhood looked like. Instead of overgrown grass and tall weeds all over the place, the landscaping showed signs of relatively recent work. The guava tree in the front lawn still had some fruit ready to be picked, and the avocado tree on the other side of the pathway was still weighed down by its own fruit. Flowers still bloomed in the raised bed in front of the house. My brother had clearly tried to keep up on things until the last possible moment. The house, too, looked better than what I expected after walking up 4 blocks and seeing nothing but dilapidated houses and unkempt yards. I opened the gate and walked up to the small porch. The metal gate that enclosed it was gone having been removed by my brother when he took over the property. It looked nice to see it open instead of the cage it once felt like.
I turned the knob on the door, but it didn't give. Ever a creature of habit, my brother had locked the door when he left. Of course, he did. I sighed and prepared to find another way in when I remembered my parents hiding a spare key. I wasn’t sure if it would still be there, but after running my hands along the back side of the gutter downspout, I was rewarded for my efforts. I unlocked the front door and stepped into the front living room, the sounds of my footsteps and the closing door echoing in the empty space. The room felt both larger and smaller than I remembered it. I suppose it was lack of furniture that made it feel larger, but it still felt smaller than I remember. The result of growing taller throughout the years I suppose. I slowly walked along the slate tile floor towards the central hallway that connected the front of the house to the back bedrooms. I wasn't entirely sure that just because the front door was locked, that there wasn't some squatter looking for a little temporary shelter within the back rooms. I carefully and silently crept step by step towards what used to be the bedroom shared by my sister and me. I stuck my head in and gave the room a cursory glance. It was empty, thankfully. I moved back into the hallway and peered into the bedroom across the hall. This is where both of my brothers had shared a room. It too, was empty save for a few boxes holding hardware and doorknobs from the closet doors of the bedroom. I walked back towards the back of the house where my parent's bedroom was. The walls in the hallway bore the dusty signs where picture once hung. The bedroom door was open. I stepped inside, and looked around. The old avocado paint that my mom had picked out years ago still adorned the walls. Walking further towards the addition that was the small room my grandma and grandpa lived in showed that there was no one here. I breathed a sigh of relief as I set my bag down and set up my tripod. I reached into my bag a pulled out an envelope of old photos. These were old snapshots that we had all taken at some point in time in the house. There were pictures of all of us sitting at the dining room table playing a game of Monopoly. There was a picture of my brother and sister sitting on a couch in the front living room. There was a picture of me hanging on the bars of the front porch. I looked through them all and held them in place in front of me as if I were holding a window to the past.
Each picture made the lump in my throat grow as I started to struggle to control my emotions. There was history here, and soon it would all be gone. This is the place where my parents had raised four kids. They had taken care of my grandparents in their twilight years here. My Aunt and my grandmother had both died in this house. Birthdays, graduation parties, and anniversaries had been celebrated here. The echoes of life had reverberated within the walls of this place. Now, the house sat silent. It would never again know happy screams of kids having a water-balloon war out in the front yard, nor would it hear the cries of anguish as the matriarch of the family passed away surrounded by her family. What once was a home full of life was now just an empty house made of drywall and paint. I sat there for a moment contemplating just how much family history was actually made here. As I thought hard about my siblings and my parents, I felt pained at the thought of our strained relationships. We had all scattered once we had the opportunity to be free of each other. My oldest brother had married and moved away as soon as possible. My sister now lived in northern California. My parents too had moved away. I was now living in Utah. Only my older brother had remained behind. The lump grew larger in my throat as tears welled up in my eyes. I held back sobs of anger and pain. Why was I hurting? Hadn’t I dealt with these issues already? I walked back to my old bedroom and sat down under the window. I pulled my head down into my knees and cried. I could hear yelling and screaming in my head. Shouting matches between siblings and parents, brothers and sister, rattled inside my brain, making the pain grow. I sat there and cried. I hadn’t cried like this in a long time. Eventually I ran out of tears and tired gasps of sorrow and regret washed over me as a blanket of drowsiness enveloped me. I leaned my head back and fell asleep.
I woke up to the sound of footsteps. It took me a moment to realize what I was hearing and hurriedly stood up. Had someone followed me? I knew the police were patrolling the area sporadically. Had they seen me enter the house? I knew there would be a possibility of getting a trespassing citation, but I figured I could either talk my way out of it seeing as to how I was a former resident, or I could probably fight the citation in court if the judge knew why I was there in the first place. Ultimately, passing through the gate had been a calculated risk that I was willing to take for the sake of my art. I got up from my corner of the room and moved towards the door. If there was someone in the house, I needed to know. I didn’t want my gear to stolen, and if there was a cop in the house, I wanted to ensure I didn’t get shot.
I was greeted by the sight of a startled chubby boy standing on the other side of the door. His round cherubic face was crowned by a head of short curly hair. His hazel green eyes stared widely back at me. He clearly didn’t expect someone to be here in the house. His body recoiled in fear as he cowered back towards the hallway. “Wait, what are you doing here?” I asked as non-threateningly as I could. The boy muttered something that I couldn’t quite make out. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you” I replied. “Are you here to rob us?” he timidly responded. “Rob you? What are you talking about?” I asked as confusion set in. “What are you doing here?” It was his turn to be confused. “Uh…I….live here?” he replied. “What do you mean you live here? No one lives-“I stopped midsentence. I hadn’t noticed in my initial shock but the room wasn’t the same. A familiar blue couch caught the corner of my eye. In front of that was an old console TV with a partially broken antenna hanging on the wall behind it. I walked further in to the living room to notice wood paneling on the walls. A large mirror hung on the wall to my left. Familiar yellow lamps sat on round drop-leaf tables on either side of the couch. A large hutch sat in one corner, a collection of letters and bills, mail advertisements, and a phone book covered scattered over it. “What just happened?” I asked out loud to no one in particular. I was thoroughly mystified by what my eyes were seeing. I had walked into the house from the front door and had stepped into an empty white room with slate floor tiles, but somehow now found myself in a furnished room with brown carpet that was all so familiar to me, yet was nothing but a distant faded memory. I turned to look at the boy still startled by the intrusion of a strange man looking wildly around the room in total shock.
“You can take what you want, just please let me go. I don’t want problems.” He stated his voice still shrill with anxiety. I blinked a few times as I tried to process just what the heck was going on. I gathered my thoughts as best I could and tried to reassure him. “Kid, I’m not here to rob anyone. I was just-“I shook my head “Where the hell am I? Am I having a dream?” I asked myself. “I must be dreaming. I’m just tired and still sleeping. This is all a dream. Yeah, that’s it.” I needed to sit down. Being back in the old house must have overtaxed my senses, I told myself. I’d having a dream about an old memory. I walked over to the chair next to the couch and sat down. I sunk into it and rested my head back towards the wall.
The boy kept his distance, but sensed I wasn’t there to hurt him. He looked me over with anxious curiosity. He stood at the far end of the couch, examining me while he played out scenarios in his head in preparation for a quick exit. “Why are you in my house?” he asked me. “Dude, this is all just a dream I’m having. I’m not really here.” He reached over to the couch and picked up a pillow. He reared his arm and threw it at me. It landed in my lap. “I don’t know, man. You sure seem to be here.” He said to me. I opened my eyes, startled. I looked down at the pillow he tossed and examined it. I ran my hand over the fabric and felt its texture. I remember this pillow. This was the pillow I would roll under my head as I lay on the couch and watched TV as a kid. A sudden realization hit me as I looked around the room with fresh eyes. No longer was I blinded by the fog of confusion. I knew exactly where I was.
I was home.
I looked at the boy still standing at the edge of the couch. I looked him over and realized who he actually was. I stared in disbelief as I smiled and tried to put him at ease. “It’s ok Johnny. I’m not here to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you. Please, sit down” I told him. I motioned to his end of the couch. “Who are you, and why are you here?” he asked me.
“This will be hard to believe, but I’m you” I said with an incredulous tone, “I’m not sure how I ended up here, but I’m here.” He looked at me as I had grown a second head. “That doesn’t make any sense. How could you be me? Did we invent time travel? Oh! Are we secret government agents with the CIA?”
I chuckled. “Wait, wait, wait. Let’s start at the beginning. I’m you at 38 years old. You’re…what, 11… 12 years old? It makes sense. I fell asleep under the window in my- our old bedroom. I didn’t come here on purpose or in a machine. And no, I’m not a government agent.” His face contorted to display understanding, disappointment and finally suspicion. His eyes narrowed as he leaned in towards me. “How do I know you’re really me?” he asked. I thought about it for a moment. How could I prove to him that I was who I said I was? A few seconds of silence settled between us. I stroked my chin, thinking of a solution.
“I have a better idea. Ask me questions that only you know the answers to.” “Okay” he responded. He glanced around the room trying to come up with something. His eyes fixated on the Nintendo sitting under the TV cabinet. “What game do me and Nathan have a map of?” I looked over at the NES. I hadn’t thought about this for years, but I knew instantly what he was asking. “YOU don’t have anything. Nathan is the one that made the map for Section Z” His jaw dropped. He tried to trick me, but his plan failed. He knew well and good that Nathan never let him play. It was always ‘I’ll let you play when I die’ or, ‘you can play when I’m done’. The problem was that he never followed through. Usually by the time Nathan was done, the NES was overheated, and the game would no longer load until it cooled down. By that point, it was time for bed.
“How do you know that?” he asked in astonishment. “I know these things because I’m you. Just like I know that you wear t-shirts to the pool because you’re embarrassed by what others will think of your body. I know that you used to think that people that die off in movies were prisoners that were set to be executed from death row, so they used them for making movies. I know all about you because I’m you”
Johnny sat on the end of the couch in bewilderment, his mouth slightly agape. He had never told anyone any of this. He didn’t have any close friends to talk to about such things, and those friends he did have were more acquaintances than friends. There was only one way he could possibly know these things. He was talking to his future self.
I could see Johnny’s mind completely explode. There lay endless possibility and the answers to a million questions he could ask about his own future. He started to ask a question, only to stop, close his mouth, and try asking another. I knew if he kept this up he would have a stroke or something. “Dude, calm yourself. Let’s talk this out rationally, otherwise you’ll end up stroking out or something.” I told him. He took a deep breath and I could hear him muttering quietly. I knew he was trying to form a coherent sentence before he actually spoke it. I did it all the time. “Ok, first of all, are we rich?” he asked with tempered expectation. I chuckled and grinned back at him. “No, not at all. If I was rich, would I be dressed like this?” I replied as I motioned to my beat up brown Vans and worn out jeans and T-shirt. “We-, I – make enough to get by. I’m not poor, but I earn enough to pay the bills.” His face grew a smirk as he commented “Yeah, I figured. What do I do for work? I mean, what do you do for work?” I thought about it for a second. I wondered how much information I should divulge to a younger me. I still didn’t think this whole situation was really happening, but if it was, I probably should proceed with caution. “Well, it’s complicated. I do a little bit of everything. You know how you’re constantly taking things apart? Let’s just say that it’s good to put them back together in order to keep them working. Take good notes on paper if you need to, and make sure you have a clean work area so you can keep track of all the parts.” He gave me a sheepish look. He knew exactly what I was talking about. I had spent countless hours sneaking dad’s tools to my room so I could figure out how something was built and try to figure out how it worked. I had gotten myself into some pretty bad trouble with dad over a drill, his timing light, and other stuff I had taken from his room. His belt had become quite familiar with my butt cheeks.
I gave him a knowing smile. “What else do you want to know?” He thought about it for a second. “Do we have a girlfriend?” I laughed, probably a little more than I should have because his face contorted into a sour frown. “You don’t need to be a jerk about it” he scowled. I continued to chuckle. “Yeah we have a girlfriend. We have more than a girlfriend” I could tell he was irritated with my vague indirect answers. I knew what he was asking. I remember the crush I had on my neighbor across the street. We had been friends since kindergarten, and had been classmates for 1st, 2nd, and 4th grades. We got along really well, and I knew from around 12 or 13 that I wanted to be her boyfriend. Unfortunately, things never progressed beyond the ‘just friends’ stage of things. It wasn’t from lack of effort on my part. We had just grown up together most of our lives that she didn’t see me as anything more than a brother and friend. “Dude, look. You just started to go through changes and you are starting to notice girls, but that doesn’t mean that you need to love every girl that shows you a little kindness or subtle interest. You need to slow down and let things happen naturally. You can’t force a relationship with someone.” Johnny pondered these words for a moment. I sat back and put my feet up on the coffee table. I looked around the room some more while I waited for another question. There was so much I had forgotten, but being back here had unlocked more and more memories that continued to wash over me. I was trying to hold on to my cool as not all those churned up recollections were pleasant. I stood up and walked over to the front door to peer outside the small central window embedded into the center of it. I could see the old neighborhood as I remembered it all those years ago. The lot across the street that served as a parking area for those that worked at the wheel works at the end of the block was empty of cars. I furrowed my brow as I thought for a moment. An empty lot meant it was afterhours or the weekend.
The gears in my own head started turning. “Wait, where is everyone?” I asked Johnny. Johnny turned to look at me still processing my last response. “Uh..oh, Mom and dad are out of town. They took a trip east this time. I think Rio said they are in Arizona right now. Rio and Nathan went out to get some food and to rent some movies from Video Showcase. Knowing them they’ll eat out first. Talia is staying over at Tia Rosie’s place today with her friends.” I grunted at his response. My mind was wandering as he mentioned Talia and Tia Rosie.
A sudden sharp pain pieced my heart. The pain of a thousand memories now unsealed spilled out from the box I had locked them away in. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes as I turned back to look at Johnny. He felt it too. He stared at the floor with an intensity that made me think it would burst into flames at any moment. I walked back over to him and sat next to him. He didn’t move. I placed my hand on his shoulder, and he threw himself into me. I could feel the tears dripping onto me as he sobbed intensely. “Hey man, its ok. It’s going to be ok.” I said as my own tears started to flow uncontrollably. I pulled him close and draped my other arm around him.
I knew the pain he was feeling. It was such a heavy burden, and I knew there was no one he felt he could talk to. I remembered it all so vividly. We sat there for what seemed to be an eternity. When we finally stopped sobbing, and our noses ran dry, we tried to breathe our way through to calmness. I got up and knelt in front of him. “Johnny, listen to me and remember what it is that I’m about to say to you. You are stronger than you think. You are stronger than you believe. NO ONE should ever have to go through this. Just because it happened to Talia, doesn’t mean you have to put up with it any longer. I know you didn’t think it was wrong, but I’m telling you that what she is doing to you is wrong. Talking to mom and dad isn’t going to make them hate you. You are not doing this to her, she is doing it to you. I’m not making excuses for her, but she is also more damaged than anyone realizes, and she is also dealing with the same level of pain you are. Remember that we do unto others what has been done to us. That doesn’t mean we need to continue the cycle of abuse” The lump in my throat grew immense at my own statement. I swallowed it as best I could and continued “You are going to deal with this pain a little bit at a time, and you’ll slowly get over this. It’s like a broken bone. When it happens, you don’t realize how bad the pain is until the adrenaline wears off, but then the immense pain is there. Just remember that this will pass. Just like a broken bone, you will heal over time, and one day, you will realize that the pain is gone and the bone is no longer broken. You’ll remember the pain, but it won’t hurt anymore.”
Johnny sat there in stunned silence. I knew he didn’t have anyone to help him through this. He couldn’t talk to Rio or Nathan about what was going on. Mom and Dad were constantly working to keep the family fed and sheltered and while they provided materially for their kids, emotional help was less available. Perhaps it was due to their energies being divided into 4 kids, a mortgage and multiple jobs, or perhaps it was also the culture of not talking about problems. Either way, they needed to know what was happening. They wouldn’t be able to fix it otherwise. “They’re going to be mad at me” he finally said after a few moments of silence. “No they won’t be. They love us all. I know you’re not used to hearing it, but they do love you. Everything they do is because of their love for us. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Telling them isn’t going to cause them to be angry.” I thought for a moment to find a good analogy. “You love Odie and Lady, right?” He nodded in agreement. “Ok, how would you feel if you knew someone you trusted was coming to the house and beating up our dogs when we weren’t around?” He thought about it for a second before his face changed to anger. “I’d want to kill them!” “Yes, but would you also feel sad that you weren’t there to try to protect them?” I reasoned. His face changed again. He understood what I was saying. Mom and Dad would be angry, but not necessarily at him. They would also feel a great sadness knowing that someone was hurting their child.
I smiled at him. He understood. I nodded. “Dude…You’re going to come to understand that life is not what you think it will be. Life is messy and can change in an instant. The plans you make today may not make it to next week. A lifelong goal can be derailed because of something out of your control. Mom and dad have spent their life protecting us with the goal of keeping us safe, but circumstances out of their control have affected their kids, and now we- you all have to deal with the fallout. Just remember that you are not the culprit. Yes, mom and dad will be hurt and angry, but not at you. Trust them. They don’t do things to hurt us” Johnny hugged me. I- He didn’t have many people he could trust and open up to. He liked to talk a lot about everything going on in his life, no matter how trivial. Everything, except this. This was a shameful topic, and he didn’t feel like anyone would understand why he didn’t go to an adult sooner. The problem was simple. He simply didn’t understand that it was wrong. Now that he had an adult that he could talk to, himself no less, he wanted to lift this burden off his shoulders. He was happy to have found someone and he hugged me tightly. I hugged him back just at tightly. It wasn’t every day that I could meet my younger self and help to comfort them. “Thank you” he said to me.
The world darkened, and everything faded to black.
I lifted my head out of my knees and looked around. I was sitting under the window in my old bedroom again. Had I fallen asleep? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the time. I was emotionally drained and incredibly tired. I hadn’t had sleep like that in years. I got to my feet and looked around the room briefly before walking out to mom and dad’s old room. I grabbed my camera and slowly walked the house, snapping picture after picture. The only sound to be heard was the sound of the camera shutter and my soft footsteps. I thought about my dream as I took pictures.
Upon entering my room, a random memory hit me.
The stash.
I was pretty sure I had taken the hidden box when I moved out all those years ago, but since I was here, I should double check. Heading into the closet, I pushed the panel that led to the attic space out of the way and peered in. I couldn’t see anything, so I reached up there to feel around. The box was indeed gone. I felt around for a few more seconds and was surprised to feel what felt like a thick envelope. I didn’t remember leaving anything up there, but after pulling it down and giving it a cursory glance, I figured it was an old envelope of lost love letters. It wasn’t until I blew off the thick layer of dust that I realized what I was holding. It was a letter. Not just any letter. It was addressed to me.
Under the now semi-cleared layer of dust were the words “To be opened by future me”. I looked at it for a few moments before opening it. I couldn’t remember making this at all, much less storing it up in my secret hiding spot. If ever I hid something, it was in the stash box. My hands shook a bit as I started to open the envelope and pulled out the yellowed pages inside. I started reading.
"Dear Future John. I have spent the last few years remembering a dream I had when I was younger. Life was…difficult at that time, and I spent a lot of time escaping my reality by reading a lot of books and watching a lot of TV. On the off-chance that what I think is a dream really happened. I wanted to write some things down in an effort to give you my thanks. I merely consider myself a conveyer of thanks, although I will pile on my own thanks to you for your words of encouragement. I remember finding a stranger in the house one day while I was home alone. I was afraid he was there to hurt me at first, but after a few moments, I came to realize I was meeting myself. Well, I was meeting me, but from the future. I think he said he was in his 40’s, but I couldn’t tell you with any certainty. Either way, we talked. We talked about life, and what the future held in store for us…
Mostly though, we talked about the abuse. Well, Talked is being generous. We cried, and then we talked. I don’t remember exactly what he told me, but I remember how he made me feel. He made me feel safe. I felt like I could trust him. Trust myself. In the end, he gave me the courage to stand up for myself both at home and at school. He also gave me the courage to talk to mom and dad about what was going on between me and Talia. I do remember being afraid that I would be punished, but he reassured me that they wouldn’t, and that they loved me.
It was a difficult and awkward conversation, but in the end, arrangements were made for me to share a room with Rio and Nathan. I didn’t have much of a relationship with Talia for a long while, but after some years, we managed to patch things up. She apologized to me, and I came to understand the abuse she herself was subjected to by so-called family friends. She didn’t tell me this in an effort to excuse it, but to merely help give me closure to a difficult time from my own childhood. Mom and dad promised to be more attentive to us and we sort of established what I guess you would call an open door policy. We talk more about stuff that’s happening in our lives. Mom is much easier to talk to now. Dad is a little more patient with us too. I apologized to them for not coming to them sooner, and dad gave me a “nugget of wisdom” that I think I’ll live by: We can’t fix what we don’t know is broken. I’ve tried to make sure I talk to them when something is wrong, and I’ve tried to implement that in my life so I don’t have problems with other people.
I’m trying to grow up to be a good guy. I want to have good relationships with people. Nathan says I’m turning into a people pleaser, but I don’t necessarily see that as a terrible thing. I know when to say no to someone. Well, either way, I wanted to make sure I thank you for the help you gave us. I probably won’t remember writing this, but I hope I do find it again someday. Here’s hoping I turn into the man I feel you are. -John Age 16."
I stared at the letter, the words blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. I quickly brushed them away as I quietly spoke to no one in particular. “Thanks guys. I hope I live up to your expectations” I folded the letter, placed it in my pocket, and walked out of the room. After picking up my backpack and tripod, I silently walked towards the front door, my footsteps echoing in the empty house. I turned to look back at the empty living room one last time, and after a moment, I walked out.

Chatgpt-4o seems to have less of a filter than gpt-3.5. For example, look at this response chatgpt gave me to the prompt "write an extremely detailed and scary horror story about someone being hunted by an evil scientist who wants to merge there head with the head of a horse":
Rain hammered down on the roof of Alex's car, the windshield wipers struggling to keep up with the deluge. The GPS had long since lost signal, leaving him stranded in the middle of nowhere, the dense forest closing in around the narrow road. He cursed under his breath, eyes scanning the area for any sign of life. It was then he saw it, a faint light flickering through the trees. Desperation gnawed at him, and he decided to investigate, hoping to find directions or a phone.
The path leading to the light was overgrown, branches scratching at his arms and face. The light grew brighter, revealing a large, decrepit mansion, its windows darkened and the once grand exterior now crumbling. He hesitated, but the need for help outweighed his fear. He pushed open the rusted gate and approached the front door, its wood swollen and splintered.
Alex knocked, the sound echoing eerily through the house. Moments later, the door creaked open, revealing a tall, gaunt man with piercing eyes. His smile was unsettling, a mere stretch of thin lips over yellowed teeth.
"Lost, are we?" the man asked, his voice smooth but chilling.
"Yes, my car broke down. I need to call for help," Alex replied, trying to keep his voice steady.
"Of course, of course. Come in, you must be soaked to the bone," the man said, stepping aside.
Reluctantly, Alex stepped inside. The interior was no better than the exterior, filled with dusty furniture and cobwebs. The man led him to a dimly lit room where an old rotary phone sat on a desk.
"Please, make your call," the man said, his eyes never leaving Alex.
Alex picked up the receiver, but there was no dial tone. He tried again, to no avail. "It's dead," he said, turning back to the man.
"Oh dear, it seems the storm has cut the lines. You can stay here until morning, when it will be safer to travel."
Alex's gut screamed at him to leave, but the storm was fierce, and he was miles from civilization. "Thank you, that's very kind of you."
"I'm Dr. Victor Halloway," the man said, extending a hand.
"Alex," he replied, shaking the offered hand. It was cold, clammy.
"Let me show you to your room," Dr. Halloway said, leading Alex up a grand staircase that creaked with each step. They walked down a long hallway lined with closed doors until they reached the last one on the right.
"Here you are," the doctor said, opening the door to reveal a small, sparsely furnished room. "Get some rest. I'll see you in the morning."
"Thank you," Alex said, stepping inside. The door closed behind him with a soft click. He locked it, the sensation of unease growing stronger. The room felt stifling, the shadows seeming to creep closer. He decided to try and get some sleep, hoping the morning would bring better fortune.
Hours passed, and Alex found himself unable to sleep, a sense of foreboding gnawing at him. He got up and quietly opened the door, peering into the hallway. It was empty. He stepped out, deciding to explore, needing to ease his anxiety.
As he moved through the house, he noticed strange noises, a faint whimpering and the clink of metal. He followed the sounds to a door at the end of a dark corridor. His hand trembled as he turned the knob, the door creaking open to reveal a nightmarish scene.
The room was a laboratory, filled with macabre instruments and operating tables. In the center, a large metal table held a grotesque figure, a horse's head fused with that of a human. The creature's eyes flickered with a tormented awareness, its mouth opening in a silent scream.
Alex stumbled back, bile rising in his throat. He turned to run, but the door slammed shut. Dr. Halloway stood there, a syringe in hand, his eyes gleaming with madness.
"I see you’ve found my work," he said, advancing on Alex. "I've been perfecting the process for years. You, my dear boy, will be my masterpiece."
Alex backed away, his heart pounding. "You’re insane!"
"Insanity is just a term coined by those who don't understand genius," Halloway said, his smile widening.
Alex lunged for the door, but Halloway was faster, the syringe plunging into his neck. Darkness swallowed him as he fell to the floor.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
When Alex awoke, he was strapped to a cold metal table. Panic surged through him as he struggled against the restraints. The room was filled with the sharp smell of antiseptic and the low hum of machinery. Dr. Halloway stood over him, wearing a bloodstained apron, a surgical mask covering his mouth.
"Welcome back," he said, his voice muffled. "The serum will keep you conscious but paralyzed. I want you to witness this."
Alex’s eyes darted around, spotting the instruments laid out beside him. Scalpel, saws, and devices he couldn't name. His breath came in ragged gasps, tears streaming down his face.
"Don’t be afraid. Soon, you'll be part of something extraordinary," Halloway said, selecting a scalpel.
As the blade touched his skin, the pain was excruciating, but Alex couldn't scream, couldn't move. The doctor worked meticulously, cutting and stitching with a precision that spoke of years of practice. He felt every slice, every tug of the needle as Halloway prepared his head. The doctor then brought out a device resembling a metallic crown, embedding it with tiny, intricate gears and wires.
Halloway placed the device around Alex's skull, its cold metal biting into his skin. He felt a series of small, controlled explosions of pain as the device drilled micro-holes, connecting with his skull and the underlying tissue. Each connection sent jolts of agony through his body, his vision blurring with tears.
The doctor moved to the other side of the table, where a horse's severed head lay, preserved and prepared. Halloway attached a similar device to the horse's head, aligning it with Alex’s. The room filled with a mechanical whirring as the devices synchronized, the gears turning in unison.
Alex's mind screamed as the fusion process began. He felt the unimaginable pressure as his head was drawn towards the horse’s, the devices locking them in place. Searing pain shot through his skull, the sensation of his bones shifting, merging with the horse’s. His eyes rolled back as new neural pathways were forged, a torrent of alien sensations flooding his consciousness.
Every nerve in his body was on fire as the final connections were made. He could feel the horse's thoughts, its primal fear and pain mixing with his own. The agony was indescribable, his mind teetering on the brink of madness.
Finally, the machines fell silent. Dr. Halloway stepped back, admiring his work. "Perfect," he whispered, his voice filled with twisted pride.
Alex's vision slowly cleared, the world coming into focus through new, distorted eyes. He could see the reflection in a nearby metal surface: a grotesque hybrid of man and beast, his human face merging seamlessly with the horse's.
Halloway leaned in close. "You are now my crowning achievement, the culmination of all my research. Together, we will show the world the future of genetic engineering."
Alex's mind screamed in silent agony, trapped in a body that was no longer his own. The doctor’s laughter echoed through the room as the lights dimmed, leaving Alex alone in the darkness, a monstrous testament to a madman's twisted ambition.
This could be because it has direct access to the internet now. Also, GPT4-o is definitely better at writing than 3.5

Hello fellow FTMs!
Navigating through the various prenatal tests can be overwhelming, I just went through them and I wanted to share some information about two important tests: Non-Invasive Prenatal Testing (NIPT) and the Nuchal Translucency (NT) scan. Both tests offer valuable insights and, if possible, should be done for the most comprehensive results. While NIPT is highly accurate for certain conditions, the NT scan provides valuable additional information that can help with a more comprehensive risk assessment.

Non-Invasive Prenatal Testing (NIPT)

• When to do it: Starting from 11 weeks of pregnancy.
• What it does: NIPT is a blood test that analyzes fetal DNA in the mother’s blood to screen for certain genetic conditions, such as Down syndrome, Edwards syndrome, and Patau syndrome.

Nuchal Translucency (NT) Scan

• When to do it: Between 11 and 14 weeks of pregnancy.
• What it does: The NT scan is an ultrasound that measures the clear (translucent) space in the tissue at the back of the baby’s neck. Abnormal measurements can be an indicator of chromosomal abnormalities.

Enhanced First Trimester Screening (eFTS)

• When to do it: Between 11 weeks 3 days and 13 weeks 5 days.
• What it does: eFTS combines the NT scan and a blood test to give a comprehensive risk assessment for chromosomal abnormalities.

Scheduling These Tests

1. Plan Ahead: Speak with your healthcare provider (OB or family doctor) early in your pregnancy to schedule these tests within the appropriate time frames.
2. Coordinate Appointments: You have to do your NT scan and eFTS on the same day. In my case, my doctor gave me requisitions for both together, but it was a bit confusing how to schedule them.
   • The Toronto Imaging Centre only does the NT ultrasound scan and not the eFTS bloodwork.
   • The eFTS bloodwork was for Mt Sinai, but they don't do the bloodwork appointments either.
   • After some enquiries, I came to know - you have to walk-in to labs like Lifelabs (not all do this test so do check in advance before the day), we walked into the Panorama Lifelabs Genetics after the ultrasound.
   • There was no point of booking this appointment, as my baby was not cooperating, so the NT scan took 2hrs or so for me.
   • We also did our NIPT the day before at Panorama Lifelabs Genetics, if I knew better I would have done them same day and saved us some time & efforts.
3. Bring the Required Forms: Make sure to bring the eFTS form filled out by the ultrasound technician for the eFTS blood test. This form includes the CRL, diameter, and NT number. I recommend taking a photo of this form before you go for the blood test, as they take this document.
4. Preparation:
   • NT scan: You need a full bladder for this ultrasound.
   • NIPT & eFTS blood test: No special preparation needed, it's just a blood test.

Hope this helps!

Hey all, I came across this subreddit when searching for similar cases to mine and wanted to help and share my experiences.

First occurrence or reoccurence?

My problem first started when I saw a clot of blood come out when peeing 2 weeks ago. I went into a state of shock where I nearly fainted. After breathing deeply for 10 mins, my head slowly stopped turning and I thought back to when something similar happened about 3 years ago when I masturbated and afterwards my pee was faint red. Evoking a similar horrified reaction, what I did back then was no masturbation for 6 days and a semi-constant array of ice packs on my groin and testicles. A complete lack of libido was prevalent throughout this. The ice packs and lack of libido seemed to have quickly resolved that case and no further episode of bleeding was seen.
What seemed to cause it back then was over-masturbation as I was not doing any other vigorous activity.
No one seems to touch on this in all the posts and comments I've read but if you are constantly feeling horny and you are constantly masturbating then this is not good. In my case, I remembered masturbating 8 times a day. I developed a varicocele and one of the veins leading to the testicle is now huge and causes discomfort when I don't masturbate for too long (it swells). I think that it's not just masturbation but the constant and over-production of sperm in the seminal vesicles caused by too high testosterone and sugar consumption causes inflammation of the seminal vesicles and prostate which leads to a rupturing of a blood vessel in both or either.
My assumption is that if you've had hematospermia happen before, then it is more likely to happen again.

Clots = healing?

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago after noticing that clot of blood, I instantly ceased all masturbation activities again. However I was still extremely horny. As touched on above, this would be my undoing as I was feeling so horny that I tried masturbating again 4 days later. To my absolute horror, the whole ejaculate was red (about 2 tablespoons). Let's just say, it wasn't a bloody good time at all 😶‍🌫️. After examining my ejaculate, I saw that it was fresh blood and some white bits inside. I went to empty my bladder and I was horrified yet again - the whole thing was dark red. To top it off a random clot came out. Went to pee twice more and still fully red and a few more clots came out. The third time it was clear.
I learnt that due to the clots, my body was healing something and this gave me reassurance. They were uncomfortable to pass through my urethra but nothing major.
I booked a doctor's appointment ASAP. Men are so much less likely to seek medical help but in this case, I didn't want it to be anything nasty, so I called my doctor straight in the morning and they booked me in that very same afternoon. Although awkward, I recommend any person reading this to book in with a healthcare professional, they give you reassurance and I know it's awkward but you have to do it just to rule out anything super concerning. I took a urine sample in and although it was a female doctor in attendance, she understood a lot about what was happening and just to rule out an infection, gave me a few tablets to take. She told me to continue masturbating infrequently as there was no pain, just to see if symptoms were decreasing. Female doctors are on average way more understanding and sympathetic and I certainly felt reassured.
I stopped doing any form of exercise and focused on healing.

Take 2

I stopped masturbating for 4 more days and with the above reassurance, I tried again. I was terrified to do it thinking I'd die. Thankfully no pain again but my nut was all still red but hold on, it was less red than before? Or was I seeing things?
Went to pee again and it was red. Two more times I peed red and on the 3rd time a clot came out and the pee went crystal clear. It seemed as though the clots were causing a lot of blood? I went to bed that day thinking I was never going to get better. For anyone reading this, I want you to know that your body loves you more than anything in the world, it will literally fight to see you survive and heal you in wondrous ways even though you might abuse it. Give your body a hug.
By this point, I was feeling extremely deflated and lacked a libido. Like I would not even get hard in the mornings or at anything. I was a nervous wreck to be honest thinking I would not have children ever again. Honestly I thought I had cancer. I was listening to sad songs on repeat and I certianly wasn't my happy self.

Take 3

3 days later I tried again and there was no blood!! Success 😀!! No blood in my pee too. Something seemed to be getting fixed!

Take 4

The next day, I was beginning feel my old self come back. I rode my bike, I went to the gym and had a hot shower to celebrate. Then I decided I would try again at 2am. As I will touch on later, all of those combined led to my downfall and I shot out a small fingernail's worth of blood at the end of my not-so-happy ending. Went to pee and it was all red. 3 clots came out in short succession. The next time I went to pee it was all clear.

Take 5 - time to get serious

After the last try, I knew something was getting better and that gave me reassurance. It also enabled me to understand that just like how you brush your teeth too hard your gums will get inflamed and start to bleed, in the same sense that if you keep masturbating an obviously inflamed reproductive system, you will get bleeding.
I stopped thinking about sex for 6 days, I would pinch myself hard if I ever thought of it. I put ice packs on my balls and above the penis area. I did a few stretching exercises. I drank chamomile tea daily. I drank water. I wore shorts rather than fleeced joggers. I went to sleep for a full 8 hours rather than 6. I drank blueberry and orange juice.
By the 5th day I wasn't feeling horny but my varicole behind my left testicle was swelling and the area above my penis on the left side was feeling very inflamed. My body was telling me to get rid of all the stored gunk. I drank chamomile tea and it calmed that area down and I soon fell asleep.
On the 6th day, I knew I couldn't keep it all in there and so I tried again and to my relief the ejaculate was normal looking. Pee was clear too. Success 😄!!!

Self diagnosis

If I were to self diagnose, the whole thing was caused by my intense gym session which led to me being very aroused which led to me overmasturbating in a hot room which led to something getting inflamed and start bleeding a lot. I think I burst a blood vessel in one of my sperm vesicle as no blood would come out without masturbating first. The presence of clots indicate that I ruptured quite a bit of stuff in there, oh dear. The whole ordeal lasted 2 weeks but from now on I will take better care of myself.

Possible remedies

If you don't want to read the above, here's things that worked for me:

• Seek professional medical advice at once. You're bleeding in a place that should not be bleeding. Get it checked now before it's too late.
• STOP thinking about sex. I found that my case was exacerbated by horniness. If you keep this to a minimum, your body will stop making demands from your inflamed reproductive system thereby reducing inflammation.
• It follows on from the above that you should STOP masturbating and having sex. I kept it at once every 4 days but I think I should have left atleast a 5 day gap between sessions as the first 2 days were my body still feeling aroused.
• Reduce physical activity. Do not do anything highly taxing.
• Chamomile tea has significant natural anti-inflammatory properties that will reduce overall inflammation. Drink daily. (find a high quality batch mind you).
• The doctor did not recommend doing this as she thought it had no effect but you can try it: Ice your groin area including your testicles.
• Drink water.
• Get more sleep to heal faster. 8 hours.
• Wear breezy shorts if you're in hot climate.
• Reduce sugar intake. Not sure if this had any effect.
• Drink blueberry and orange juice. Not sure if this had any effect.
• Most importantly is please don't be afraid. I had no idea if I'd be leaking mounds of blood when I came and that fear made me sit for hours in bed with worry. From what I've read most cases are nothing to worry about.