Dad s toys part 1josman

I have been practicing shadow work for 6 months now. A lot has changed, I am working against my victim mentality and “good girl syndrome” and I have made a lot of progress. However, yesterday I build up the courage to tell my friends that I actually like anime. I have been secretly watching it without any of my friends knowing it. Basically apart from my family knew who I actually was. Anyways, now I catch myself thinking “if they know I like anime, they must think I am a nerd or I am worthless for the fine things in life”. I know it’s not true, but like for the last few years i have been putting on this hyper feminine glamorous girl, and I feel like the mask is off and it opened a pandora’s box. Now I am disgusted by anything feminine, when I was little I was a tomboy and now that “tomboy me” is back. I don’t feel like talking to anyone or doing anything.
I am curious if this is actually a part of my shadow work progress. If someone has gone through something similar let me know.

My situation is a tricky one and it’s been giving me horrible panic attacks to the point where I do not feel real anymore. To keep it short my family is incredibly poor and dysfunctional and my aunt recently had a bipolar episode and move close by only making things worse. I haven’t been getting along with nt siblings as my sister an I planned to move out and she surely switched up on me for her boyfriend, despite knowing how it would make me feel. We have to move out as we have lived in emergency homelessness housing our whole life and earn too much to stay. My issue is I cannot afford anywhere and would have to move into my dads place 2 hrs away. This would mean I would have start over completely and break up with my 2 yr bf who I love and thought I was going to marry. I explain to him the situation but I don’t he understands. My quality of life living here is so shit as a I have very little support. I cry on the bus home thinking about coming home and dealing with everything. I feel myself sinking into a depression again because of having to manage finances etc. Although if I moved with mt dad none of this is an issue. I would be able to afford uni no problem and enjoy my life and actually have savings. I feel selfish for wanting to but I feel as if I don’t have a choice because I’m earning too much anyway. I just don’t have any support and I have no idea what the right choice is.

Hello
25F, 130lbs, 5’10”, no tobacco, MMJ user, hydrocodone and oxyxodone as needed, cyclobenzaprine, protonix
If you read this thank you so much because I’m absolutely desperate and my doctors are tired of me and I think they think I only want pain meds. I don’t, I just want to feel better. I have a huge stash of emergency oxycodone anyway so I barely even need them for that.
On 12/15 I fell down the stairs and hit the lower of my middle back quite hard. 12/19 I had a LEEP done, 01/06 I came down with extreme urinary issues and between then and now have been back 6 times, seen 4 specialists and have seen my PCP at least ten times for urine samples. I’ve also only been able to attend my full time job for 43 days so far this year and have no more money for copays and if it weren’t for my ADA paperwork, I’d have been fired a long time ago
Over the last two weeks, it’s been taking me up to two hours to produce urine while having a full (and very sore - mostly left side) bladder. This is infuriating. When I do end up finally feeling the need to release, I have less than 3 minutes to get to a restroom before my vision starts going spotty from the bladder pressure pain.
My urologist ordered a cystoscopy, but has been blaming my 3mm kidney stone until I begged for an ultrasound last month of my bladder. Found bladder wall thickening and bladder cyst / possible urachal remnant.
I found out what Cuada equina is today. I learned that it is very very commonly missed. I can barely walk, and at the music festival I went to over the weekend I had to use ADA for just about everything. I look completely normal so I got judged pretty hard, but I do have paperwork. I have been losing weight without much diet change and my back has been killing me as well. I feel so weak. My urine flow is so small compared to what it used to be. I had a period of time where the pain was so bad, I couldn’t feel my clitoris or labia at all so sex was pointless as well, and I thought I’d lose my relationship and be alone forever. They send me to an OB-Oncologist who said not to come back, which is why my urologist finally agreed to check my bladder.
Is it possible that all my issues are related to the cyst and thickening, or could this be cuada equina that was missed on multiple CT’s? I can’t find info on bladder cysts. using retention. When is the appropriate time to go to the hospital? I can barely walk without pain meds. I urinated about 40 times on Saturday, with my usual being 10-20 times, and some days there’s very little pain or urgency at all, but the retention is almost always there to some extent.
It almost feels like the part of my brain that controls my bladder doesn’t work anymore because no matter how hard I tell my bladder to release, it just doesn’t happen sometimes and I can’t get comfortable after that. I’ve slept a total of 4 hours since Saturday morning and I only have one hydrocodone left. Pyridium does NOTHING except for when burning pain presents, and I can’t take NSAIDS until my GI clears me due to extreme gas, constipation and bloating / belching thought to be caused by peptic ulcers. I can’t walk at this point without pain meds, but the ER always releases me with the same DX of cyst and bladder wall thickening and tells me they have no clue what that means. But I’m in so much pain I feel like there has to be something they can do other than give me fluids and monitor me for an hour or two until I can get to my cystoscopy next week.
If you have any advice for me I really appreciate it. I don’t want to die but I feel the only way out of lifelong urinary pain after 6 months now is suicide. The only time suicide doesn’t cross my mind a couple times is when I do end up having to take a pain pill. In March, I had to take oxy every day. I only take them now when I can’t walk because the effects are too strong for me to keep my life in order while taking them every day. But this weekend I have had the most trouble walking, and using the restroom, since all of these issues began.
I can’t afford any more specialists visits after my procedure, so I really wish the ER could do something for me as they’re the only ones who won’t turn me away for not having money at this point. My GI doc actually canceled my appointment because I don’t have $20 and I’ve been putting off another ultrasound because it’s $200 up front. IDK what to do but I’m pretty sure this is how a lot of people end up on fent and heroin - if I had been denied pain meds this far I would have turned to the streets, and that’s coming from someone who has chosen - on their own - to quit most drug related and extracurricular activities to better their life at a young age and is much happier for it.
I can’t even get the ER to catheterize me when I can’t urinate for 6+ hours at a time. What gives? Why won’t they run a different imaging test? They wouldn’t even give me a breath test for h pylori recently and now I’m waiting a month for an appointment I can’t even afford.
TL;DR extreme bladder pain, nobody understands why, extreme difficulty urinating, ER can’t do anything for me and awaiting surgery. Is there anything I can say or do to get proper medical attention or can the ER really not touch your bladder like they say? Is there a way I can convince them to admit me so I could see a urologist before my procedure? My urologist is unavailable until my follow-up and I don’t think the company they work for allows them to Rx narcotics and I’m against taking more than 1 oxycodone a week at this point but so far have been unsuccessful in getting something weaker like hydro or tramadol.

I (30F) have been with my partner (32M) for 10 years. In general, we've had a great relationship. He's smart and caring. We've continued to do new things over the years like move to new places, traveled, gotten into new hobbies, started businesses, etc so it's been eventful (at least outwardly).
The problem is for one, the sex life is non existent. We used to have a lot of sex (typical honeymoon phase), went down to 1-2 a week for a few years, then since the pandemic it dropped off a cliff. It's been once every 4 months for about 2.5 years, and even then it feels like a chore, like "oh it's Valentine's, should we do it then?". It lacks passion and despite many discussions on my part, he isn't open to trying new things, and seems offended when I ask.
Second, I feel guilty that I don't find him attractive anymore. I manage the majority of the social calendar, planned birthdays, trips, friend hangouts etc. If I don't, he doesn't make an effort, and doesn't even plan the occasion date night anymore. Physically, he's the same as when I met him, but it's more that the passion that made him attractive to me has gone. I asked my friends if this is just typical of long term relationships, most of them said they still find their S/O sexy/beautiful/attractive etc as always. I find myself wanting to spend more time with friends or alone, than I do with him.
Things like sex and physical attraction are NOT the most important things, I understand that. At the same time, I don't want to be celibate for the rest of my life. And feel like even though I love him as a person, it's different than being IN love. We're not shouting or having dramatic fallouts, most days it just feels like we're co-existing. I've brought up couples therapy, and his thought is that the relationship is basically over if you need that.
How do you know if a relationship has run its course or if it's just in a low period? Is it ok to be just content in a relationship, or is that settling? Have you left a relationship thinking the grass would be greener and was it worth it or not?
TL;DR - Been together 10 years, no longer have sex or attraction, feels comfortable but passionless. No big red flags but can't help but wonder if this is it.

Part 1
I ended up buying a house at the edge of this town.... before i knew all the bullshit that was goin' on around here. Got bored and went down to the local sheriff Jack and asked about an opening, Didn't even fill out an application, got the job on the spot. For the first few months it was the usual, speeding tickets, drunk and disorderly, normal shit right? Well... let the fuckery commence....
I had been a deputy for 7 months when one of the local farmers called in and reported he had some animals killed last night and wanted someone to come out to his house. John Nixon was a 60 year old farmer who lived by himself. His wife passed away years ago, but he never remarried and they never had kids. We met one day at the local tackle shop. Me being new in town, he took me to some of the good fishin' spots. The man was a huge military history buff and would always ask about my time in. I thought I knew him personally, so i took the call.
As I rolled up to the gate on his property, I saw John standing at the gate with a shotgun. " Hey john, can I ask why you are standing there with that cannon in your hands?" No response, he just stared at me. "John! put that damn shotgun down!!" I yelled. Its like he snapped to out of a trance. "Mason, i need you to come round the back side of the house to the barn, now!" he snapped.
"OK, OK, let me get outta the car and grab some gear." I said opening the car door. While i was grabbing my gear, John was standing there with his eyes scanning the tree line. "Come on mason! you need to see this!" He said heading towards the back. I closed the trunk and started walking over in his direction.
"So what the hell is going on that's got you walking around here with that damn bazooka?" No response, he just keeps walking and scanning the tree line. We finally got to the back of his house where the barn is. It looked like a horror movie in that pen.
"What the fuck happened here!?!" I said covering my mouth. There were pieces of chickens and goats everywhere, a few pigs looked like they had been filleted. "Its back mason, after all these years" John mumbled. "John what the hell are you talking about? what did this?" I asked.
John took his eyes off the tree line and looked me dead in the face. "Your not from here so you dont know." "Know what man? what are you saying?" I asked getting annoyed now. "Years ago this same thing happened to a few guys I know. All of their livestock had been killed. Not killed and eatin', just killed. It got people 'round here up in arms. Well, a few of us got together and decieded we were gonna look for whatever did it" he said. "What the hell are you telling me john?" I interrupted. "There were four of us. We were young, thought we were bullet proof. We went out into the woods one morning, determined to find the damn thing that had been killing our animals.
Tommy was the first to say something. "Hey, did you guys hear that?". The rest of us didnt hear a thing, so we kept moving. We got about three miles deep into the old pine forest at the edge of town. Will was the next to say something, "WHAT THE FUCK?!" he yelled out while looking down at the mud. We ran over to where he was standing to find him wide eyed. "I dont know what the actual fuck did this, but we..we need to go and I mean right fucking now!!!" he said pointing. This track was huge, at least 14 inches long with huge claws. Gerald spoke up "Let's fuckin' go guys!!".
We started back tracking out of the area, when we were stopped cold in our tracks, we all heard it this time. It was coming from everywhere and nowhere at the same damn time. A sickening, shrieking laugh was coming from all around us. We panicked and starting runnin'. As soon as we did that, whatever was making that noise centered as if right behind us, and it was coming fast, ungodly fast" John said eyeing the remains of a chicken that was torn apart.
"We were about a mile from the trucks when I heard a thud and a scream, when i looked back Gerald wasn't there. Will and tommy were right behind me, terror all over their faces. Tommy pulled his pistol and started shooting backwards. Only one shot rang out before something tackled him and Will. I stopped, raising my rifle, but they had already been torn apart. It was seconds, and they were in shreds" John said.
"Mason, what i saw standing over their shredded bodies has haunted me since then. The fucking thing was nine feet tall, shaped like a man, but not. Its skin, or or scales was a mixture of black and grey and it looked slimy. It looked like a damn bodybuilder with hugh claw like hands. Its head was massive, with what looked like horns coming from the jaw to around the chin. Its eyes, glowed bright green in the middle of the fucking day, and it had a mouth full of fucked up jagged teeth." He said lowering his head.
"I jus.. just stood there, waitng for my turn. This thing paced back and fourth, staring at me, with this creepy damn smile. It looked down at Will and Tommy, then it looked back up at me. My heart almost stopped when it pointed and shook its head at me. It started making that shrieking laugh as it grabbed what was left of my friends in each giant claw and walked off into the woods, still fucking laughing. I fell to my knees as it vanished into the trees."
I stood there, thinking he lost his damn mind. John had stopped talking, he had this way off look in his eyes. "John..., john.., JOHN!!" his eyes snapped back to mine. "So what are you telling me? A nine foot creature with claws killed your friends and animals?!" I half mocked. "Yea.... thats what i'm telling you. Its back for me, i know it." "What makes you think it was this thing you say killed your friends? It could have been coyotes" I asked " I know mason, i heard that same horrible shrieking laugh in the woods behind the barn last night."
Now I’ve heard some real bullshit in my time, especially during my time in the contracting field... But this was the most out there shit I had ever heard.
"Alright, alright... let's just take a big ass step backwards. I need to wrap my head around all of this." I said takin a deep breath. John laid the shotgun down to his side. "I'm telling you the truth mason. i'm too old and tired to lie about shit" he said shrugging. I looked deep into this man’s eyes. When I did, I saw something that told me this was the absolute truth as he knew it. " You haven’t given me any reason to doubt you... but fuck man... this is hard to swallow. I need proof John, that's the way this works." A look of frustration washed over his weathered face.
"Proof?! you want proof huh? follow me" John groaned.
He started walking towards the tress behind the barn. As we got closer to the trees, I started to smell rusty copper. Blood I thought out loud. John raised his shotgun as we walked closer. That damn gun had to be illegal, but this wasn’t the time for that. Him raising that gun made me a lil' uneasy, so I pulled my Glock 9mm out and flipped the safety off.
John owned about 90 acres, most of it unkept. A lot of the land was behind the barn which butted up to a state forest. We took about 12 steps into the wood line when the smell of death hit me like a brick. "I'm taking you to where I heard the noise coming from last night... your PROOF is out there Mason" He said with a slight edge to it.
We walked almost a hundred yards into the woods when john stopped in front of a tree. It looked twisted and warped all the way to its top. I stepped around John and saw huge claw marks cut deep all the way around the base of the tree, it's hard to even call it that. "What the hell is this?" I said looking up. "This is a marker, it's territory starts here" John replied. I looked at john like he was crazy, which at this point I thought he was. "This thing travels throughout these woods. I've found five more of these trees in our town" he said putting a hand on the tree.
"This isn’t telling me anything John, just that you've got a weird ass tree on your property" I said back to him. "Do you hear that?" So we could move this mess forward, I stopped talking and just listened. I hadn't noticed that during our walk into the woods it had got quiet, and I mean not one sound. " What the hell? where did all the animals go?" I asked looking around. "They're scared mason... you should be too. Let's get back to the house."
We turned and started making our way out of the woods. We were damn near the tree line when I heard a snap. I turned around, gun raised to see a black streak dart back deeper into the woods. "What the fuck was that?!" All John said was "we need to leave, now!" We turned and started sprinting the rest of the way out of the woods. I was surprised at how fast john was for an old man. We got all the way back to my patrol car. "I don't know what that was, but I don't think you should stay here tonight John. Pack some stuff and come to my place" I said pointing my gun at the trees. John just let out a sigh as if frustrated and defeated.
"You weren't listenin'. The pine forest, these trees, it’s all connected. I’m talkin’ bout before this area was even inhabited by native peoples. This fucking thing has been around for a very long time. I have been looking into this since that day, I had to find out what it was and if it can be killed" he tried to explain. The whole time john was talking I had my eyes and weapon pointed at the trees. " You can put that down mason, it just wanted you to know it's here" He said.
"John, I to need process this shit. I've never seen or heard anything like this and to be straight with you, I’m at a loss right now" I said opening the trunk. "I get it, I get it. The sheriff jack was a deputy back then. When you see him... tell him I said the dark is here..." And with that, he just turned his back and walked back into his house not saying another word.
I got back in the car and sat there. Looking at the treeline. After a few minutes I went back to the station. I must've walked in with that universal what the fuck look on my face, because Cathy the clerk asked what was wrong with me. I told her I was fine and asked if she had seen the sheriff? "Yeah, he is in the gun cage. Are you sure you’re ok Mason?" She asked again.
"Yeah, I'm good, just need to talk to Jack." I started walking towards the back of the building, when Jack came around the corner. "Hey mason, what's up?" he says walking up to me. "I just got back from John's house." The look on his face completely changed. "He had a bunch of animals killed last night. It looked like a slaughterhouse. He told me to tell you the dark was back?" I told him noticing his reaction.
Jack stiffened up and not saying a word gestured for me to follow him towards the back security door. We headed towards the back and out the door. Jack had stopped to make sure the door was secure then pointed at his truck and said "get in."
After getting in he looked over "I need some coffee" then started the truck up and headed west out of the parking lot towards the coffee shop. He ordered a large black coffee with extra sugar then asked if I wanted one. "I'll take a small black, no sugar." We pulled out and headed east back past the station. We ended up driving towards the edge of the county. "What's going on and why are we heading way the hell out here?" I looked at jack and said.
Jack just took a long sip of his coffee then placed it back in the holder.
After a long breath "You want some answers about what happened at Johns' house... I’m sure he told you about a few other things about this town... well we're gonna go get you some answers" He said looking at a black sedan passing in the opposite direction. "Aight so, like you mason, I’m not from here either. I was a trooper in New York for a few years before I came down here. I resigned after a call to an old couple’s house" He said reaching for his cup. "My partner Jake and I responded to what was thought to be an animal attack. We were the first on the scene, having been a couple miles away lookin' for speeders.
When we rolled up an older woman came running over to the cruiser. She had a panicked look on her face and just kept repeating "they're dead, they're dead!!" We hopped out and sat her in the back of the car then asked what happened. "I...I... came over to talk to gloria and... and I saw the door open. I walked in yelling her and Alan’s name, but they didn't answer... I found them upstairs... it's horrible!!" She said sobbing. Jake and I drew our weapons and started making the move inside. Like the witness said the front door was open, so we moved in. It smelled like sulfur and blood when we entered. We started clearing rooms. The first floor was clear, so we made our way up the steps.
The smell was overpowering now. We cleared the bathroom, and the two smaller rooms were clear also. The door to the master bedroom was slightly opened. I motioned to Jake and we hit the door.... it looked like some movie shit!! I kid you not. Jake turned and went back into the hallway and threw up. I stepped into the room and... listen I had never seen anything like this before" Jack stammered out.
"These two people were in shreds on the bed, they're insides had been yanked out and thrown around the fucking room. After looking at the bodies I noticed these huge claw marks in the wall, I’m talking if Andre the giant had had a Krueger glove. I stepped back out of the room and radioed to dispatch that we needed more units. I walked back to the front door where Jake was standing hunched over looking out of it.
Parked outside were 3 black SUVs and a black sedan. I counted 11 men dressed in black tactical military gear, some with a type of rifle I had never seen before, but you could tell it was large caliber. The rest with SMG weapons. When i looked over towards the patrol car, one of the men had the door opened and was talking to the witness. He saw us and started our way. He was dressed in all black too and carried what looked like a desert eagle in a chest holster.
When he got closer I got a better look at him. He looked to be in his late 40's with salt and pepper colored hair and a big ass scar that ran down the right side of his face. He got about ten feet from the steps "We appreciate the assistance, but you are no longer needed" He said in deep voice. As he is saying this, one of the other guys escorts the witness out of our car and into the back of that sedan.
The guy started walking away from us "Who are you? and what the fuck is going on?" I yelled at him. He turned with a look on his face that you only see in movies then took a few steps towards us. "Your command has been informed and you are to leave now!" He said raising his hand up towards that holstered pistol. Jake looked at me and shook his head "fuck it, let's go, let them deal with that mess upstairs" he said still coughing then started heading towards the car. I followed him down the steps... looking this guy up and down, checking out the vehicles... for anything that might tell me who we were dealing with.
The only thing I saw was on the assholes uniform... there was a patch on his shoulder. It was an all-black diamond with a weird looking black M in the middle on it. The guy stared us down until we were in the car driving away. He had that pistol in his hand and the other men starting moving into the house. Jake and I didn’t say a word until the radio squawked and we were told to head back to the barracks.
When we got there, we were told to report to the troop commander’s office. Commander Thompson was sitting in his office along with a man in a nice 2-piece suit. The man in the suit stood there quietly while Thompson told us that we never responded to any call out to that farmhouse, and that this was the first and only time he would say it. With that, he dismissed us and and we walked out. The shit didn’t sit well with me, and I ended up resigning a few months later.
I came down here and then that shit in the woods happened. I was on the scene, I saw the claw marks. They looked just like the ones in New York, and the same damn trucks showed up with different personnel. I knew just to shut up and walk away, and after making that choice I have had a pretty good career here." he finished grabbing his cup out of the holder.
My brain was in overdrive. I was just about to completely question bomb jack when he said, "We're here." He pulled off onto this overgrown driveway and drove for about a quarter mile. We pulled up to an old two-story house that looked like it was in ruins... but the lights were on. "Where the hell are we?" I asked As the last word of that question left my mouth, the front door of the house opened... standing in the doorway was a old man, dressed in weathered black clothing. Jack leaned over to me "You wanted answers... well.... there they are."

School is situated in England. Names changed for protection. Incident happened yesterday.
Our child 6yo (Julie) was attacked by another 6yo (Sam) in school who used a rock they found on the playground to hit Julie on the head.
The attack split Julie’s head open and an ambulance was rang to the school before the school then rang us to inform us.
There was a lot of blood and our child was deeply traumatised. This is not the first time that Sam has hurt Julie. We reported this at a parents evening that Sam had punched Julie and also thrown a toy car at her. We’d always been told by the school that they would handle it.
At the hospital, Julie needed a neurological exam as well as her head needed to be glued back together. The hospital staff expressed disbelief at a child doing this.
We are reporting this incident to the police to start a paper trial (we understand due to age he does not have criminal responsibility) however, we are wondering where we might stand for suing for the school. We have contacted the school to request either constant 1:1 supervision of Sam (which they do not have the resources to do) or to consider moving him to another school that can best meet his needs. We have no plans to move Julie from the school but are unsure how the school would react to us if we did sue. Any advice/support would be greatly appreciated.

I have a friend group where none of us is similar in terms of personality. We’re very diverse: one is soft-spoken, one is serious about studying, one is wild and very ‘out there,’ one is a mediator, one just goes with the flow, one is very serious about life, and one is full of pride.
We got close because we constantly see each other at work. It was fun at first—we’d hang out a lot, go to parties, and talk about other people behind their backs. But lately, it feels like it’s time for me to move on.
I never had a large friend group where we talked a lot and spent time together until I met them. Despite the gossip and trash-talking, I chose to stay with them because it felt like they were the only friends I had. It felt nice to be a part of something.
I realize now that this is not the friend group I want to be in. I hate the way they talk about other people, and I hate that they tolerate each other’s bad behavior just because that’s how they’ve always been.
One friend in the group told me I should just accept that this is how they are, as if I should tolerate it too. That same friend also told me that it would be a waste to leave since we have so many shared memories.
It seems as if it’s difficult for them to change for the better. Because “that’s how they’ve always been”
Should I listen to my friend or should I leave the friend group and make better friends?

I ended upon a govt job threw a very funny circumstance, met a lady she owned a zoo toy biz, She hired my welding shop to build animal caging for a zoo. We build the caging in shop, she was already months late on the job had over a year to build them. The GC and zoo lady rushed us out of the shop 2 weeks in insisted we drive from chicago to colorado to go install even tho parts were not ready because city is coming to check progress. We drive to Colorado get there start working it takes longer then the 1 week I bid the install for. takes 316 hours between 3 guys including myself to finish . after week 1 we asked for more payment and were denied by zoo lady, had to go to the GC to ask for more money or we left the job. after much pain and headache and threats to stop working they finally put in a email we will agree to pay the 120 a hour and they paid a 15000 joint check which was the initial agreed upon install price. After leaving they have still not paid the 20000 I invoiced them for its been 3 months since I sent invoice. They told me to fill out a lcp tracker which went smooth intill I hit the point that I did not pay my guys enough, I did not account for overtime, I am literally negative on this job. after expense and paying the two guys both like 5000 a pop paying for fuel to drive 2000 miles tools etc etc etc, I didn't even pay myself... over 15k was spent in total between paying guys and biz expense. They are not paying me supposedly intill I file the LCP is this legal? I literally did not receive enough money to pay preliminary wage therefore I can not file the LCP. Is it a crime to be poor?

Kiddos finally got into cars, along with monster trucks, and a recent trip to the the toy section showed some adult collectors practically throwing elbows to look at new stock I guess.
Excuse the newb question, but are there chase/rare vehicles? I looked at the wiki in the group info but it didn’t seem to indicate if there are. Maybe I missed it.
Also, what’s everyone using for storage? The minis have been the biggest hit, and we’ve been using the bead boxes/sorters.

I'm getting this warning: Your active refr handle count is currently 802150 which is dangerously close to the limit. Please check the Engine Fixes log for more details.
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"0026","Creation Club: ccedhsse002-splkntset"
"0027","Creation Club: ccedhsse001-norjewel"
"0028","Creation Club: cccbhsse001-gaunt"
"0029","Creation Club: ccbgssse069-contest"
"0030","Creation Club: ccbgssse068-bloodfall"
"0031","Creation Club: ccbgssse067-daedinv"
"0032","Creation Club: ccbgssse066-staves"
"0033","Creation Club: ccbgssse064-ba_elven"
"0034","Creation Club: ccbgssse063-ba_ebony"
"0035","Creation Club: ccbgssse062-ba_dwarvenmail"
"0036","Creation Club: ccbgssse061-ba_dwarven"
"0037","Creation Club: ccbgssse060-ba_dragonscale"
"0038","Creation Club: ccbgssse059-ba_dragonplate"
"0039","Creation Club: ccbgssse058-ba_steel"
"0040","Creation Club: ccbgssse057-ba_stalhrim"
"0041","Creation Club: ccbgssse056-ba_silver"
"0042","Creation Club: ccbgssse055-ba_orcishscaled"
"0043","Creation Club: ccbgssse054-ba_orcish"
"0044","Creation Club: ccbgssse053-ba_leather"
"0045","Creation Club: ccbgssse052-ba_iron"
"0046","Creation Club: ccbgssse051-ba_daedricmail"
"0047","Creation Club: ccbgssse050-ba_daedric"
"0048","Creation Club: ccbgssse045-hasedoki"
"0049","Creation Club: ccbgssse043-crosselv"
"0050","Creation Club: ccbgssse041-netchleather"
"0051","Creation Club: ccbgssse040-advobgobs"
"0052","Creation Club: ccbgssse038-bowofshadows"
"0053","Creation Club: ccBGSSSE037-Curios"
"0054","Creation Club: ccbgssse036-petbwolf"
"0055","Creation Club: ccbgssse035-petnhound"
"0056","Creation Club: ccbgssse031-advcyrus"
"0057","Creation Club: ccBGSSSE025-AdvDSGS"
"0058","Creation Club: ccbgssse021-lordsmail"
"0059","Creation Club: ccbgssse019-staffofsheogorath"
"0060","Creation Club: ccbgssse018-shadowrend"
"0061","Creation Club: ccbgssse016-umbra"
"0062","Creation Club: ccbgssse014-spellpack01"
"0063","Creation Club: ccbgssse013-dawnfang"
"0064","Creation Club: ccbgssse012-hrsarmrstl"
"0065","Creation Club: ccbgssse011-hrsarmrelvn"
"0066","Creation Club: ccbgssse010-petdwarvenarmoredmudcrab"
"0067","Creation Club: ccbgssse008-wraithguard"
"0068","Creation Club: ccbgssse007-chrysamere"
"0069","Creation Club: ccbgssse006-stendarshammer"
"0070","Creation Club: ccbgssse005-goldbrand"
"0071","Creation Club: ccbgssse004-ruinsedge"
"0072","Creation Club: ccbgssse003-zombies"
"0073","Creation Club: ccbgssse002-exoticarrows"
"0074","Creation Club: ccBGSSSE001-Fish"
"0075","Creation Club: ccasvsse001-almsivi"
"0076","Creation Club: ccafdsse001-dwesanctuary"
"0077","Interesting NPCs SE (3DNPC)"
"0078","AI Overhaul SSE"
"0079","Address Library for SKSE Plugins"
"0080","UIExtensions"
"0081","SkyUI"
"0082","SSE Engine Fixes (skse64 plugin)"
"0083","The Ultimate Dodge Mod Attack Cancel"
"0084","The Ultimate Dodge Mod"
"0085","(DMC) The Ultimate Dodge Mod Reanimated - TUDMR"
"0086","Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch"
"0087","Project New Reign - Nemesis Unlimited Behavior Engine"
"0088","Open Animation Replacer"
"0089","Open Animation Replacer - IED Conditions"
"0090","dTry"
"0091","Animation Motion Revolution"
"0092","Dynamic Dodge Animation"
"0093","The Ultimate Dodge Mod - Script Fixes"
"0094","Dynamic Activation Key"
"0095","Caliente's Beautiful Bodies Enhancer -CBBE-"
"0096","CBPC - Physics with Collisions"
"0097","CBBE 3BA"
"0098","The New Gentleman"
"0099","Snake Argonian Texture"
"0100","Backported Extended ESL Support"
"0101","Masculine Khajiit Textures (Grey Cat and Leopard) [Better Males]"
"0102","RaceMenu"
"0103","mouth fix khajiit"
"0104","Underwear.dll"
"0105","Bestial Beast Races SE - Muscular Body Morphs and Height Scaling for Argonians and Khajiit"
"0106","The Coffee House"
"0107","Feminine Khajiit Textures (Grey Cat and Leopard) [CBBE]"
"0108","XP32 Maximum Skeleton Special Extended"
"0109","Faster HDT-SMP"
"0110","SMP-NPC crash fix"
"0111","HDT SMP beast race tail"
"0112","PapyrusUtil SE - Modders Scripting Utility Functions"
"0113","powerofthree's Papyrus Extender"
"0114","Dylbills Papyrus Functions"
"0115","Papyrus Ini Manipulator"
"0116","Attack MCO-DXP"
"0117","Payload Interpreter"
"0118","MCO Universal Support"
"0119","Separate Power Attacks"
"0120","Simple Dual Sheath"
"0121","Immersive Equipment Displays"
"0122","Weapon Styles - DrawSheathe Animations for IED"
"0123","BodySlide and Outfit Studio"
"0124","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword MCO Moveset"
"0125","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Low Stance"
"0126","Leviathan Animations II - Female Idle Walk And Run"
"0127","Goetia Animations - Magic Spell Casting"
"0128","Goetia Animations - Sneak Magic"
"0129","Goetia Animations - Enchanted Staves"
"0130","Goetia Animations - Conditional Shouts"
"0131","Conditional Armor Type Animations"
"0132","First Person Animation Teleport Bug Fix"
"0133","Paired Animation Improvements"
"0134","Animation Queue Fix"
"0135","No Spinning Death Animation SE"
"0136","Lively Children Animations (OAR)"
"0137","Expressive Facial Animation -Female Edition-"
"0138","Vanargand Animations II - Unarmed Non Combat Locomotion"
"0139","Vanargand Animations II - Unarmed MCO Moveset"
"0140","Vanargand Animations - Sword Dual Wield Moveset MCO - SkySA"
"0141","Vanargand Animations - Sneak idle walk and run"
"0142","Vanargand Animations II - Unarmed Normal And Power Attacks"
"0143","Vanargand Animations - Sneak Thrust Attacks"
"0144","Animation Event Logger"
"0145","Vanargand Animations - Sneak Strike Attacks"
"0146","Vanargand Animations - Sneak Archery"
"0147","Vanargand Animations - One Handed Power Attacks"
"0148","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Non Combat Locomotion"
"0149","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Normal Attacks"
"0150","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Sneak Locomotion And Attacks"
"0151","Leviathan Animations II - Male Idle Walk And Run"
"0152","Leviathan Animations II - Greatsword Power And Sprint Attacks"
"0153","Leviathan Animations II - Sprint"
"0154","Vanargand Animations - Crossbows"
"0155","Vanargand Animations - Archery"
"0156","Vanargand Animations - Dual Wield Normal and Power Attacks"
"0157","Vanargand Animations - Dual Wield Sneak Strikes"
"0158","Vanargand Animations - One Handed Normal Attacks"
"0159","Vanargand Animations - One Handed Mid Stance"
"0160","Vanargand Animations - Mace Moveset MCO - SkySA"
"0161","Vanargand Animations - Dual Wield Sneak Thrusts"
"0162","Strike Obstruction Systems - Combat Blocking Overhaul"
"0163","Shield Of Stamina - Blocking Redux"
"0164","dTry Plugin Updates"
"0165","True Directional Movement - Modernized Third Person Gameplay"
"0166","TrueHUD - HUD Additions"
"0167","True Directional Movement - Tail Animation Fix"
"0168","Jaxonz Positioner Converted"
"0169","Jaxonz MCM Kicker SE"
"0170","MCM Helper"
"0171","S.M.C. - SKYRIM MOTION CONTROL"
"0172","S.M.C. - SKYRIM MOTION CONTROL - MCM"
"0173","Better Jumping SE"
"0174","Skyrim's Paraglider"
"0175","Skyrim's Paraglider Anniversary Edition Update"
"0176","Precision"
"0177","Nemesis Creatures BEHAVIOUR compatibility"
"0178","Nemesis Creature Behaivour - WereWolf Addon"
"0179","Precision Creatures"
"0180","SSE Display Tweaks"
"0181","Better Third Person Selection - BTPS"
"0182","SCAR - Skyrim Combos AI Revolution"
"0183","SCAR AE Support"
"0184","IFrame Generator RE AE Support"
"0185","Behavior Data Injector"
"0186","Behavior Data Injector Universal Support"
"0187","powerofthree's Tweaks"
"0188","Spell Perk Item Distributor"
"0189","Improved Camera SE"
"0190","Immersive Interactions - Animated Actions"
"0191","Crash Logger SSE AE VR - PDB support"
"0192","ConsoleUtilSSE"
"0193","JContainers SE"
"0194","FSMPM - The FSMP MCM"
"0195","CBPC Equipment Physics"
"0196","Your mom (and dad)"
"0197","Achievements Mods Enabler"
"0198","Realistic Water Two SE"
"0199","Water in Wells - mesh-only animated wells"
"0200","Skyrim Caches"
"0201","Moonlight Tales Mini - Highly Compatible Werewolf and Werebear Addon"
"0202","Growl - Werebeasts of Skyrim"
"0203","Underwear for BHUNP and HIMBO for Underwear.dll"
"0204","Fuz Ro D-oh - Silent Voice"
"0205","Sound Record Distributor"
"0206","Storm Lightning for SSE and VR (Minty Lightning 2019)"
"0207","Thunder Sounds - WiZkiD Mix -"
"0208","Enhanced Blood Textures"
"0209","Audio Overhaul for Skyrim (4.1.2)"
"0210","A Tribute to the Kaua'i 'o'o- Immersive Easter Eggs (SE-AE version)"
"0211","NPC Dialogue Audio Enhancer"
"0212","Skyrim Extended Cut - Saints and Seducers"
"0213","Acoustic Space Improvement Fixes"
"0214","Reverb Interior Sounds Expansion"
"0215","Regional Sounds Expansion (SRD - Wilds Dungeons Towns Ambience Birds - Fixes)"
"0216","Precision Trail Replacer - Simple"
"0217","SkyHUD"
"0218","QuickLoot EE"
"0219","ConsolePlusPlus"
"0220","Wynter's Breezehome"
"0221","moreHUD Inventory Edition"
"0222","moreHUD SE"
"0223","More Informative Console"
"0224","SkyTEST - Realistic Animals and Predators SE"
"0225","More Immersive Activations (SkyRem Activations)"
"0226","EVG Animated Traversal"
"0227","Dungeons - Revisited"
"0228","SkyClimb"
"0229","Simpler Knock"
"0230","Take a Peek - New Stealth Mechanic"
"0231","Interactive Wash Basins"
"0232","The Final Cataclysm - 2020"
"0233","EVG Animated Traversal - Patch Collection"
"0234","Purchaseable Store-Display-Items"
"0235","Convenient Dialogue UI - SE"
"0236","Take a Peek - New Stealth Mechanic - Settings Loader"
"0237","A Matter of Time - A HUD clock widget"
"0238","A Matter of Time - A HUD clock widget - Settings Loader"
"0239","Static Mesh Improvement Mod"
"0240","Static Mesh improvement Mod - SMIM - Quality Addon"
"0241","Stones of Barenziah Quest Markers"
"0242","Take a Nap - Sleep on Chairs"
"0243","Horns Are Forever (Persistent Argonian Horns)"
"0244","Improved closefaced helmets"
"0245","Improved Closedfaced Helmets Patches"
"0246","Convenient Horses"
"0247","Take a Seat - New Sitting Animations for OAR or DAR"
"0248","Better Wedding Guests"
"0249","Falskaar"
"0250","Falskaar - Addons and Patches - Fast Travel fix"
"0251","Falskaar - Addons and Patches"
"0252","Moonpath to Elsweyr SSE"
"0253","Comprehensive Falskaar Fixes"
"0254","Beyond Skyrim - Assets"
"0255","Beyond Skyrim - Bruma"
"0256","Beyond Skyrim - Bruma inegration patch"
"0257","Fat Skyrim - A worldspace expansion - Standalone"
"0258","Darkend"
"0259","Beyond Reach"
"0260","Fluffworks (Fluffy Animals)"
"0263","Static Mesh Improvement Mod Improvement Mod"
"0265","Simple Wearable Lanterns"
"0266","The Scarlett - A Buildable Ship (SE)"
"0267","Wolf Follower - Dynamic pet including Hunger and Growth system - SE"
"0268","Security Overhaul SKSE - Lock Variations"
"0269","Security Overhaul SKSE - Add-ons"
"0270","Skyrim Immersive Creatures Special Edition"
"0271","Zoro's Katana's"
"0272","Berserk Judeau Armor"
"0273","Equip Enchantment Fix"
"0274","Scrambled Bugs"
"0275","Falling Gildergreen Petals - SE"
"0276","Gildergreen Regrown"
"0277","Keyword Item Distributor"
"0278","MergeMapper"
"0279","Dialogue Movement Enabler"
"0280","Dirt and Blood - Dynamic Visual Effects"
"0281","The Forgotten City"
"0282","Expanded Dragon Bridge"
"0283","Skyrim Borders Disabled - SSE-Edition"
"0284","Helgen Reborn"
"0285","Enhanced Solitude SSE"
"0286","Icy Mesh Remaster"
"0287","Settlements Expanded"
"0288","Stonecrest City Reborn SE"
"0289","Midwood Isle"
"0290","Siege at Icemoth"
"0291","Siege at Icemoth F&S patch"
"0292","Beyond Reach - Tweaks and Enhancements"
"0293","More Bandit Camps SSE"
"0294","Wyrmstooth"
"0295","All Thieves Guild Jobs Concurrently"
"0296","Bandit Economy"
"0297","Bandit Lines Expansion"
"0298","Clockwork (SSE)"
"0299","The Gray Cowl of Nocturnal SE"
"0300","Blackreach Railroad"
"0301","Brhuce Hammar Legacy - Special Edition"
"0302","Aethernautics- A Space Travel Mod"
"0303","The Lost Wonders of Mzark"
"0304","Fyr Manor Special Edition"
"0305","Dwemer Spectres Special Edition"
"0306","Ancient Dwemer Metal - My patches for SMIM Dawnguard Dragonborn by Xtudo"
"0307","The Wheels of Lull - Unwound Edition - Settings Loader"
"0308","The Wheels of Lull SE"
"0309","Moon and Star"
"0310","Catching Clockwork - Wheels of Lull Fishing Addon"
"0311","TrueHUD - Wheels of Lull Patch"
"0312","Khajiit have ears"
"0313","Toymania"
"0314","IA Merged - Vanilla version"
"0315","Garm the Husky Companion"
"0316","Fare Thee Well - Spouses and Children Give Blessings (TAGS - Family)"
"0317","Immersive World Encounters SE"
"0318","BERSERK"
"0319","Berserk - The Black Swordsman"
"0320","Berserker Armor - An Immersive Berserk-inspired Armor"
"0321","ADXP I MCO Berserker guts Animation"
"0322","Dragon Slayer - Berserk"
"0323","BDOR Berserker Conversions"
"0324","Berserker Armor - BDOR Berserk Model"
"0325","[immyneedscake] BDOR Berserk SSE (Cloth SMP)"
"0326","Berserker Armor - SkyTEST Patch"
"0327","Berserker Armor - Immersive World Encounters Patch"
"0328","Berserker Armor - Growl Patch"
"0329","Berserker Armor MAIN FILE"
"0330","Berserker Armor - Update"
"0331","Footprints"
"0332","Footprints - Alternative Design"
"0333","SPID for Footprints"
"0334","Ultimate fix - SPID for Footprints"
"0335","Boethiah for Good Guys"
"0336","Capital Windhelm Expansion"
"0337","Capital Windhelm Expansion ai"
"0338","Capital Windhelm Expansion ussep"
"0339","Capital Windhelm Expansion - Normal"
"0340","Warbird's Whiterun Metropolis"
"0341","WWM - USSEP Patch"
"0342","WWM - DVLaSS Underside Patch"
"0343","Whiterun Battle Brothers"
"0344","WWM - SIC Patch"
"0345","SIC SE - Add-Ons and Patches"
"0346","VIGILANT SEAE"
"0347","VIGILANT Voiced - English Addon"
"0348","TrueHUD - Vigilant Boss Bars ini"
"0349","Attack Dogs - A dog combat overhaul"
"0350","Attack Dogs - Bone Wolf CC Patch"
"0351","Attack Dogs - Skytest - SIC Patch"
"0352","Attack Dogs - Unofficial Skyrim Patch"
"0353","Attack Dogs - Vigilant Patch"
"0354","Attack Dogs - Wolf Follower Patch"
"0355","Attack Dogs - Winterhold Restored Patch"
"0356","Immersive College NPCs"
"0357","Immersive College of Winterhold"
"0358","Actor Limit Fix"
"0359","Better College Application"
"0360","Obscure's College of Winterhold"
"0361","Ultimate College of Winterhold"
"0362","Winterhold Restored"
"0363","Relationship Dialogue Overhaul - RDO SE"
"0364","Relationship Dialogue Overhaul - Update and MCM"
"0365","ES - EVGAT Patch"
"0366","Solitude Docks Updated"
"0367","Expanded Towns and Cities"
"0368","Cities of the North - Falkreath"
"0369","The Great City Of Falkreath SSE Edition"
"0370","Cities of the North - Falkreath Patch Collection"
"0371","Lanterns Of Skyrim II"
"0372","Myrwatch - Editable Home Cells (Cell Bug Workaround)"
"0373","SkyTest Integration"
"0374","Cities of the North - Morthal"
"0375","Interesting NPCs (3DNPC) - Patches"
"0376","Mfg Fix"
"0377","Civil War Aftermath SE"
"0378","The Shire SE"
"0379","Undeath Remastered"
"0380","Carved Brink"
"0381","Skyrim Cut Content Restoration"
"0382","Extended Vanilla Menus"
"0383","Point The Way"
"0384","Jewelry Limiter - Another Multiple Rings and Amulets Mod"
"0385","Equipable Beast Tails - HDT SMP (Physics)"
"0386","BIGGERER Smp Argonian Tails"
"0387","ES AI Overhaul patch"
"0388","Gemling Queen Jewelry SE"
"0389","Folkstead and the Border of Hammerfell"
"0390","Circlet USSEP Fixes"
"0391","Gemling Queen Jewelry SE USSEP Circlet Fix"
"0392","Undeath - Classical Lichdom"
"0393","Undeath - XPMSSE - Strange Runes - Skeleton Patch"
"0394","Pirates Wield Cutlasses"
"0395","AI Overhaul SSE - Official Patch Hub"
"0396","Xelzaz - Custom Fully Voiced Argonian Telvanni Follower"
"0397","Beyond Skyrim - Wares of Tamriel SE"
"0398","Project AHO"
"0399","Project AHO - Skytest Patch (Fix Invisible Mudcrabs) - ESPFE"
"0400","Unofficial Project AHO - Bugfix and Improvement Patch"
"0401","College of Winterhold - Quest Expansion"
"0402","Better Dynamic Snow SE"
"0403","LeanWolf's Better-Shaped Weapons - All in One Installer"
"0404","Civil War Deserters"
"0405","Castle Volkihar Rebuilt - SSE"
"0406","Cloaks of Skyrim SSE"
"0407","Artesian Cloaks of Skyrim"
"0408","FileAccess Interface for Skyrim SE Scripts - FISSES"
"0409","Depths of the Reach"
"0410","Skyrim Underground SSE"
"0411","SkyrimUnderground_Add-On"
"0412","Cities of the North - Dawnstar"
"0413","Save The Dark Brotherhood - Skyrim Special Edition"
"0414","Dark Brotherhood Reborn - Dawnstar Sanctuary SEE"
"0415","House of Horrors - Quest Expansion"
"0416","Nilheim - Misc Quest Expansion"
"0417","The Only Cure - Quest Expansion"
"0418","The Only Cure Quest Expansion - Patches"
"0419","The Whispering Door - Quest Expansion"
"0420","The Heart of Dibella - Quest Expansion"
"0421","The Shire Unofficial Patch"
"0422","Unofficial Carved Brink Patch"
"0423","Go to bed"
"0424","Sleeping Expanded - Animations and NPC reactions"
"0425","Skyrim Sleeping Bags SE - Sleep Under Blankets"
"0426","Skyrim Reputation"
"0427","Skyrim Reputation Improved"
"0428","Skyrim Reputation - Fixed and Patched"
"0429","The Innocence Lost - Quest Expansion"
"0430","Thieves Guild Alternative Endings"
"0431","Destroy the Thieves Guild - Special Edition"
"0432","Skyrim Reputation Patches for Quest Expansions and Alternate Routes"
"0433","Dynamic Activation Key - MCM"
"0434","Dynamic Activation Key - Addons Collection"
"0435","Drengin's Blue Palace Terrace"
"0436","ES Blue Palace Terrace"
"0437","ES LoS II Patch"
"0438","BluePalaceTerrace-AI Overhaul-patch-SE"
"0439","Bruma and Other Patches for Convenient Horses"
"0440","Paarthurnax - Quest Expansion"
"0441","Scion - A Vampire Overhaul"
"0442","Save the Icerunner - Lights Out Alternate Routes"
"0443","Penitus Oculatus"
"0444","About Roggvir"
"0445","Defy the Gardener"
"0446","Serious Civil War Finale Sieges"
"0447","Supreme Fog for Morthal Region"
"0448","Base Object Swapper"
"0449","CC Bow of Shadows Lingering Invisibility Fix"
"0450","Riften Extension - Southwoods District"
"0451","Vanilla hair remake"
"0452","Dark Brotherhood Reborn - Patches Tweaks and Enhancements"
"0453","EVGAT - Dynamic Climb-able Ladder Doors"
"0454","INIGO"
"0455","Inigo Whistle Key"
"0456","Inigo - Bloodchill Manor patch"
"0457","Inigo Riding Patch"
"0458","Midwood Isle - Beyond Skyrim Bruma patch fix"
"0459","Whose Quest is it Anyway NG"
"0460","Happy Little Trees"
"0461","Happy Little Shrubs"
"0462","Skyland Happy Little Trees Bark"
"0463","ES Happy Little Shrubs patch"
"0464","Skyland AIO"
"0465","Better Dynamic Ash SE"
"0466","Slightly More Revealing Vanilla Clothing - 3BA Bodyslide"
"0467","Moonpath to Elsweyr Navmesh Fix"
"0468","GKB Waves Reborn"
"0469","GKB Waves Reborn-Midwood Isle"
"0470","GKB Waves"
"0471","Use Those Blankets"
"0472","Become a Bard"
"0473","Bards Reborn Student of Song Become a Bard and Bards College Expansion"
"0474","Serana Dialogue Add-On"
"0475","SDA Patch Hub SE"
"0476","Skyrim Reputation - Scion A Vampire Overhaul Patch"
"0477","Trueblood Serana"
"0478","Dawnguard Don't Hunt Cured Vampires"
"0479","QAPP - Quests Award Perk Points"
"0480","AI Overhaul - Various Patches"
"0481","COTN Morthal Patch Collection"
"0482","COTN Dawnstar Patch Collection"
"0483","QAPP - Quests Award Perk Points Patches"
"0484","Quest Conflict Fixes - Get Aegisbane"
"0485","Quest Conflict Fixes SSE"
"0486","Berserker Armor - Quest Conflict Fixes Patch"
"0487","Shadow of Skyrim - Nemesis and Alternative Death System"
"0488","Improved Camera SE - INI Tweaks"
"0489","SmoothCam"
"0490","SmoothCam - Modern Camera Preset"
"0491","SmoothCam Vanilla Enhanced 2"
"0492","Combat Pathing Revolution - NG"
"0493","BeastHHBB - Khajiit and Argonian content - player character and NPC replacer"
"0494","Immersive Armors"
"0495","Immersive Armours - SSE CBBE 3BA BodySlide"
"0496","Skyrim Reputation - Sneak Tools Patch"
"0497","Sneak Tools SE Edition"
"0498","Lux"
"0499","Lux - Via"
"0500","Lux Orbis"
"0501","Lux (patch hub)"
"0502","Lux - Via (patch hub)"
"0503","Lux Orbis (patch hub)"
"0504","Unofficial Lux Patchhub"
"0505","Sweets and Such - Baking Expanded SE"
"0506","Bards Reborn Enchanced Solitude Patch"
"0507","Bards Reborn Student of Song Undeath Patch"
"0508","Bards Reborn Student of Song AI Overhaul and USSEP Patch"
"0509","Moon and Star - Undeath Remastered Patch"
"0510","Immersive Sounds - Compendium"
"0511","Audio Overhaul - Immersive Sounds Integration (AOS - ISC Compatibility Patch)"
"0512","Unofficial Moonpath to Elsweyr Patch"
"0513","Bards Reborn USSEP Patch"
"0514","Castle Volkihar Rebuilt - Relationship Dialogue Overhaul Patch"
"0515","Cathedral Weathers and Seasons"
"0516","ENB Helper SE"
"0517","Particle Patch for ENB"
"0518","Obsidian Mountain Fogs"
"0519","Embers XD"
"0520","ENB Light"
"0521","Enhanced Volumetric Lighting and Shadows (EVLaS)"
"0522","Rudy ENB Cathedral Weathers ADDONS and REQUiRED Files"
"0523","Moons And Stars - Sky Overhaul SKSE"
"0524","Splashes Of Storms"
"0525","Rudy fix for Splashes of Storms and ENB"
"0526","Bright Waterfall Fix for ENB"
"0527","Less Distracting Blowing Snow Effects for ENB Particle Patch"
"0528","Show Player In Menus"
"0529","CoMAP"
"0530","Infinity UI"
"0531","Compass Navigation Overhaul"
"0532","Dear Diary Dark Mode (warm text)"
"0533","Dear Diary Dark Mode - Compass Navigation Overhaul Patch"
"0534","Stress and Fear - A Dynamic Sanity System"
"0535","Flat World Map Framework"
"0536","Extended Cut - Saints and Seducers Paper Map for FWMF"
"0537","Apocrypha Paper Map for FWMF"
"0538","Beyond Reach Paper Map for FWMF"
"0539","Midwood Isle Paper Map for FWMF"
"0540","Strange Runes"
"0541","ElSopa - Potions Redone"
"0542","RUSTIC SOULGEMS - Special Edition"
"0543","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Soul Gems"
"0544","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Deathbells and Nirnroots"
"0545","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Torchbugs and Moths"
"0546","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Bthardamz"
"0547","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Chaurus Eggs and Sacs"
"0548","Rudy HQ - More Lights for ENB SE - Glowing Mushrooms"
"0549","Rudy - More dramatic Red Mountain Plume"
"0550","Patch for Rudy HQ Misc. and Expanded Towns and Cities ETaC"
"0551","Obscure's College of Winterhold - Rudy HQ Miscellaneous SE Patch"
"0552","Soul Cairn Paper Map for FWMF"
"0553","Skyrim Paper Map by Caro Tuts for FWMF"
"0554","Paper Coldharbour Map for VIGILANT (FWMF)"
"0555","Duncan's Paper Maps for FWMF"
"0556","Rudy HQ - Standing Stones SE"
"0557","Bright Waterfall Fix for ENB Fix - Purple wind"
"0558","Use Or Take SKSE"
"0559","Oblivion Interaction Icons"
"0560","The Wheels of Lull CBBE 3BA and HIMBO Patch"
"0561","TrueHUD - HUD Additions - Gray Cowl of Nocturnal Boss Ini Tweaks"
"0562","Immersive Armors Patch"
"0563","Prisoner cart fix SMIM"
"0564","Sunder and Wraithguard - Editable Vault Cell (Cell Bug Workaround)"

I’m a Product Marketeer and I’m looking at developing my own google docs addon to track and analyze docs (sales enablement) usage.
I’ve looked into tools like Highspot, Klue etc.. but these are tough times to get budget for this sort of tooling.
Here’s my list of requirements so far:

• Track how often each document is accessed and by whom.
• Measure time spent on each document. Although probably not, not sure about the value of this.
• Provide insights into which parts of documents are most interacted with… bit of a wishful thinking here, would see if I manage.
• Generate reports directly within Workspace or wherever, a slack update could be nice…

This should help me understand what’s working and what’s not, as well as help me prove the value of my work.
So three questions:
How do you solve this right now? Is it there a workaround that I could try before spending next 2 months’ nights and weekends working on this?
Or maybe I’m overthinking it and I don’t really need these metrics. Do you actually care about metrics like this ones? What’s your exp, do they help? How do you prove the value of your work? (Usage of sales pitch, use cases, battle cards, objections handling…)
Finally, would you use something like this? Any other functionality that you would like to see, that you find is a must-have or game changer in your flow?
Thanks!

before this i smoked weed often and nothing bad happened just paranoid til one day my step dad asks if i want to smoke we go outside on the porch and go to smoke i take a big ass bong rip of the weed he got from the dispensary some strong shit i chill with him for 2 minutes and say i’m going to my room to call a friend. im on call and i say look at how beautiful it is outside and i sit down on my bed and then everything is black i hear voices saying your dead over and over your dead. im nowhere i don’t remember who i am or my name or where i am or even how i got there its just pitch black i start talking to myself crying inside trying to think what’s my name and how did i die because all i knew was that i was dying slowly or already dead and this is what death was pitch blackness i start to remember that i had smoked right before this and start to remember my name they still repeat your dead again and again i start to taste and feel blood in the back of my throat while still in nothingness can’t feel my body or open my eyes i see and feel demons pull me down with their hands into my bed down to hell i start praying to got to save me and i don’t want to die as i hear the blood in my ears as they whisper and pull me deeper and deeper when my eyes open i run to my mom crying saying mom i died please help me i just died mom and then i loop for the rest of the trip but that shit was so crazy. a year later i found out i was having a seizure for minutes alone in my room with no one even knowing. it’s crazy to think i could have died there shaking and no one would have even knew for hours. after this ive never felt the same and can trip a tiny bit being fully sober.

I’ll try to make this as concise as possible.
So I’ve started seeing my current boyfriend about 2 years ago. I am Christian and he is Muslim but we are both not religious. His family isn’t very religions and his sibling is married to a Christian and they’re happy and all is well.
My family, on the other hand, is very religious and when I announced that I’m seeing someone but he’s not Christian, they immediately told me to break it off before it gets harder to later. I have then been trying to speak to them and convince them that this is my choice and I’m not very religious but they keep saying that they see into the future and this won’t end well because his family is of a different background in terms of religion.
My sisters were also supporting me in the beginning but only when I mentioned that he might be able to convert (which is not the case anymore because converting has serious consequences that him or his family don’t want to go through) and when they found out he won’t convert anymore, they stopped supporting. We all live fairly close to one another so I see them and my nephews and niece a lot but I’m getting tired of seeing them and acting like everything is okay.
I’ve spoken to my mom and dad countless times, explaining to them how I’m not going to let go of my Christianity, how I will baptize my kids, we can also try to get something called a dispensation letter from a bishop that will allow this, I will introduce my kids to Christianity and they still won’t budge. I also clarified that even if I am to marry someone Christian, I will choose someone who’s not as religious and I won’t be taking my kids to Sunday school or forcing them to have the same level of faith that I or their grandparents have. They are also worried that when my kids mingle with my sister’s kids, that would be an issue.
They’ve also told me I must bear the consequences if I choose to take this path because I’m the one leaving theiChristianity’s path by my own will and I have to bear the consequences of them not meeting him, not attending my wedding, not meeting his family, not mingling with us at gatherings. My father also told me that they love me and because they love me they’re doing this to avoid the inevitable future I will be facing and that i should wake up and see that I’m doing is wrong and come back to the right path.
This has gone on for too long and it’s affecting me mentally and physically as I have gained a lot of weight emotional eating. My boyfriend’s family welcomes me with open arms and I see them regularly but not all of them know the issues we’re facing with my family.
TDLR: it’s getting tiring to do everyday tasks and act like everything is okay when it’s not. It’s also exhausting to be made to feel that I’m doing something wrong and throwing away my values and that it’s my fault if they stop mingling with me.

I’m a Product Marketeer and I’m looking at developing my own google docs addon to track and analyze docs (sales enablement) usage.
I’ve looked into tools like Highspot, Klue etc.. but these are tough times to get budget for this sort of tooling.
Here’s my list of requirements so far:

• Track how often each document is accessed and by whom.
• Measure time spent on each document. Although probably not, not sure about the value of this.
• Provide insights into which parts of documents are most interacted with… bit of a wishful thinking here, would see if I manage.
• Generate reports directly within Workspace or wherever, a slack update could be nice…

This should help me understand what’s working and what’s not, as well as help me prove the value of my work.
So three questions:
How do you solve this right now? Is it there a workaround that I could try before spending next 2 months’ nights and weekends working on this?
Or maybe I’m overthinking it and I don’t really need these metrics. Do you actually care about metrics like this ones? What’s your exp, do they help? How do you prove the value of your work? (Usage of sales pitch, use cases, battle cards, objections handling…)
Finally, would you use something like this? Any other functionality that you would like to see, that you find is a must-have or game changer in your flow?
Thanks!

This is probably a stupid post to make, but I wish I was ASPD or a narc.
I'm just an avoidant person - I do want things like money, plastic surgery, and a life of mostly freedom but mainly because I want to be so independent and not have to ever let anyone in again and I do like the idea of being so unattainable and being the "dream girl" of every guy - not in a purely sexual way, but actually being the girl he desires and sees as trophy wife enough to move me to the hamptons. I like telling myself secret lies that I have never been in a relationship simply because men don't think they can ever pull a woman as good as me.
I don't have to be the "most powerful" in the room, but I want to be associated with power and have the ability to get along with higher ups.
All my life I've been abused when all I ever wanted and craved was deep intimacy and to be seen and nurtured. At the same time, I contradict myself - I used to view relationships as purely transactional but of course, when the other party did not meet my emotional needs, I ghosted. I wish I was like that Shera lady on YouTube who talks about being super detached from men, and not giving a fuck if they yell at you or call you names because, at least you're getting money and she is so full of herself despite being financially dependent on her husband. I couldn't live like that, I cannot have respect for myself if other people are disrespecting me - but sometimes it takes "humility" or at least playing the humility card to get the things you want - and it seems like Narcs are really good at playing on this.
My parents are both narcs and they treated me like shit until I got a car and moved away from home for 3 years..when I started treating my mom like the way she treated me when I was 13, she started acting sweeter and more docile. My step mom got her karma - she used to sit back and watch my father abuse me, but when I moved away from home she became his next victim. A huge part of me feels guilty and sorry for her, because dealing with my dad is a soul crushing experience I don't wish on ANYBODY no matter what they have done to me - but another small part of me is thankful that she's getting her medicine for being such a fool and believing that acting like a loyal lap dog to a man would benefit her somehow.
My father is constantly trying to pry information out of me about my personal life - especially weird intimate details about guys I sleep with. I just don't trust my father at all, and I try to tell him things he wants to hear to avoid conflict. Recently we got in an argument though, and I blocked him and deleted his number like I always do when I leave people.
I just want to be largely unaffected by most things and situations, I don't want to be so insecure and hate every thing about myself, I just want to be able to interact with people and have the upper hand or be unaffected by their absence. I want unwavering respect and admiration.

I want to build my second PC as my dad recently gave me a Mac mini and I gave him my PC in exchange. Now I want to build another PC as my other one was sold by my dad. I will mainly do some Programming and some light gaming(Sea of thieves) my last pc had a Ryzen 5 and a NVIDIA gtx 1080. I mainly need a good CPU I guess and the graphics card should support direct X and openGL as that’s what I use while Programming. RAM I had 16GB, don’t think I need more. I am willing to spend 500 to max 800$. The 800 isn’t a hard cap so if it’s 810 it doesn’t matter but not much higher. Looking for some advice. Thanks.

im trying to sell some old stuff and found this old pc part. please give any and all knowledge and how much you think it’s worth!! thanks <3

Just wondering if this sounds familiar to anyone… I have a very serious baby (4.5 months) he’s unimpressed with a lot of things, he does smile but not laugh out loud (yet) and the seriousness is just him I think. But the last few days he doesn’t really interact with me anymore. He gives his dad a big smile but kind of ignores me and looks passed or around me… it’s like he is mad at me, has any one else experienced this? I feel sad because I so the majority of the things with him, the nights are almost completely done by me because I’m breastfeeding etc.

Linking a post at the bottom explaining what happened the other night a bit. Some backstory:
Friend has 3 kids with one woman; she is 4 states away and they had gone through a legal battle when the oldest was 6. Friends new wife has gotten worse as years have gone by; my wife witnessed the oldest kid ask for sanitary pads and the woman give her one. “I’ll need more later” “no you’ll waste them”. I’ve seen the woman lock my friend and 2/3 kids outside overnight and make them sleep in the car. There’s so much more she’s done.
The girl has cried for attention; she got in with the wrong boy last year and caused a big scene with her family, told lies about who it was and got CPS involved for a home visit. CPS has been to the house several Times in the last year, mostly due to her making complaints at school. They make sure house is ok & they leave; the girl was court ordered therapy for 2 months last year and that’s it.
After the events in my linked post transpired, her dad bought the other two kids cellphones & not the oldest. He’s told her she starts a lot of this “drama”.
Where I’m at is wanting to contact CPS myself, and inform them that yes the child has complained and home visits have showed it’s “ok” but that there’s more at play here. Am I overreacting? Do I need to stay out?
Linked post: https://www.reddit.com/TwoHotTakes/s/6AC2rtSXKF

it’s this little part in my dream that keeps happening, the first part of the dream is something different inside my house but then i leave my room and i see this big polar bear in my kitchen and it gets closer to me and this thing on my phone says it’s from a gore video and i have to go past him into the kitchen so i try going past while he’s distracted by some things in the hallway and then he runs in and attacks a fish on the ground by our fridge and then runs at me and after that i wake up every time