Hey, Im Daniel and im 22. September 2023 i was 120kg(264 pounds), And this is the story of how i went from 120kg(39.6% bf) to 76kg(19.8% bf) in only 4 months.
My routine used to be, wake up, gaming for 18h straight, 2L Coca Cola and eating shit everyday, till i saw a Brazillian guy on youtube, his youtube channel is called "Space Today", And he started a project with some other professional bodybuilder youtubers, he started at 180kg and i was like "huh, if he can do it, why wouldn't i be able to? he's starting line is way above mine." so i went to my local gym, took some nutricionism advices online for better understanding of food, and used some apps like Myfitnesspal or Fatsecret, to know how many calories each food had, bought a scale to weight my food 1 by 1 and did everything perfectly. I used to workout like a madman, my new routine was, wake up at 7 a.m, fasting, go to gym and do cardio, and then muscle training, I was eating 1300 calories a day and my total expenditure was like 3000/3400, that in the beggining.
A few months go by, and i started to get heated up on things, started working out 2 times a day, 1h 30m cardio in the morning, 1h 30m muscle workout at noon, every single day, i was greedy, i wanted it, i trained like it was my last day on earth, heavy training at that, 20km running every day, 140kg squat, 400kg leg press, 100kg bench, i was pretty satisfied with my numbers with only 3 to 4 months of training. One day i looked at the mirror and i could the infamous 6 pack starting to get form, imagine, took me 21 years to get 120kg and only 4 months to get lean, pretty good huh? So, i kept increasing weights, at this point (by my 3rd month) i was eating 1800kcal already cuz i thought i was spending way too much and giving in way too little, but i didnt wanted to exagerate. It reached a point i was training 6 days a week, and only sunday off because the gym was closed on that day, so i would go in the park near my house and start running.
By the end of January, i was running my usual 20 to 25km daily, when i suddenly felt something wrong, it wasnt just muscle pain on my legs that i felt, i stopped the treadmill and looked down confused, it was hurting like hell but i didnt care, just felt like it was a bad day and went home, prepared for afternoon workout and went to the gym, walking with a lot of pain but i couldnt afford to care. Kept doing my workout as usual day by day but with a lot of pain, till one day i was in the treadmill, and i had to stop by the kilometer 2 or 3 because of extreme pain, i couldnt run anymore, so i kept walking on the treadmill, like i said before, i didnt care at all about pain, people used to look at me, i was smiling while running and at the same time looking like i was about to just drop on the floor dying, you dont know the feeling of being depleted of energy but keep going at it till you try it... But in this day in specific it was different, i couldnt run anymore, nor walk, nor nothing, i seated in the treadmill and when i tried to get back up i couldnt, it was pain in the lowerback(lumbar) radiating to the legs, i felt that everyday specially on leg days, but never at this level of pain, this time i couldnt get up at all, so my friend called the PT'S and they decided to call an ambulance. i did a TAC analysis in the hospital, and they discovered degenerative herniated disk and several damaged sciatic nerves. I'm that type of guy that doesnt cry for anything, but I started crying when they told me i couldnt work out anymore and that i would need a cirurgy to replace the damaged disks...
You dont know what it is until it happens to you... Its so frustrating, in the start, you do it because you need to do it in order to lose fat, but when you start to see progress, you start to have fun with it, it stops being an obligation and starts being a fun hobby. They use to say that "in your highest times is when the devil comes for you", and i felt exactly that, in a moment, i was happy for the first time in life with my self and my body, and 1 minute later i had nothing.
Sorry for the big text, all this to say, its not worth it guys, take it slow, do a diet where you do a decent deficit, cutting 500kcal is okay, its not worth it going under 2000kcal, you dont need to cut half your calories, your body needs nutrients in order to function properly, Think of your body like a car, it needs gasoline to keep going, but it also needs oil, and manuntention, etc. I felt a lot of times out of strenght, i just kept going because in my mind was some David Goggins type of shit, "Do or die", "Imagine if this weight was a car and your mom's below it, push it or she'll get crushed" type of mentality you know? But what for? The best advice i can give you is, loosing weight is extremely easy, like i said, 21 years to get to 120 and 4 months to get back to 76, and if i had done it safely, probably could've achieved close to that number, like 85 or 80, with an even better physique, cuz will all this cardio training i lost tons of muscle mass. Remember, your body needs to rest, its not a machine, the world wont end tomorrow, you have plenty of time no matter your age, forget about being meso, meta or endomorph, everyone can do it, just change your habits little by little, and when it comes to food you dont need to change it at all, just control your portions, inform yourself with useful data. There are a lot of fake influencers but, also good ones like Dr.Mike or Paul Revelia or Lee Lem, they give plenty of healthy advices for free on how to achieve your ideal body % and realistic time to get it.
Thank you for having patience to read through all this. If i could go back in time, i would've done everything differently, being greedy was my biggest mistake, but if you are fat right now, i know you understand what were my thoughts, i just wanted to get rid of all that fat. In the end, it wasn't worth it guys. Stay safe!

Good Morning Patriots
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Free place to chat and a good place to discuss whatever you like with other sub users
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2024 Opponents Set.

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Meet New England’s 2024 Rookie Class.

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New England Patriots News Catchup Links - Gonzalez, Douglas, Wallace, Maye’s footwork, and More!

• Transactions: Patriots sign three of their eight 2024 draft picks and nine rookie free agents.
• Patriots announce Eliot Wolf has been named Executive Vice President of Player Personnel.
• Mike Dussault reports new head coach Jerod Mayo and the Patriots rookies took to the practice fields on Saturday for the media’s first access in 2024.
• Evan Lazar goes inside QB Drake Maye’s day at Saturday’s rookie minicamp.
• Mike Dussault’s Draft Profile: Fourth-round draft pick WR Javon Baker has an intriguing skillset that could be just what the Patriots ordered.
• Alexandra Francisco reports DL Davon Godchaux and his wife, supermodel Chanel Iman, hosted the ChauxDown Foundation’s first annual Mother’s Day Luncheon at Gillette Stadium on Thursday.
• Press Conferences: Jaheim Bell - Marcellas Dial - Ja’Lynn Polk - Caedan Wallace - Drake Maye - Jerod Mayo.
• Transcript: Jerod Mayo.
• Photos: Patriots Rookie Minicamp - Day 1 & 2 and Day 3.
• Mike Reiss shares some quick-hit weekend thoughts: QB Joe Milton III had ‘too much talent’ to pass up; Possible joint training camp practice with Eagles; Wallace-Robinson duo; Reaction to 18-game season; More!
• Ben Volin’s Sunday Football Notes: Beyond Drake Maye, what should we make of the Patriots’ first draft post-Bill Belichick?
• Steve Balestrieri’s Sunday Patriots News: Rookie mini-camp, Eliot Wolf IS the GM; Ernie Adams; More.
• Andy Hart’s Sunday 7: Jerod Mayo and Drake Maye go camping.
• Doug Kyed’s Rookie Minicamp Notes: Observations from Drake Maye, draft class. Top takeaway: Quarterback play will look different for the Patriots this season.
• Taylor Kyles shares his observations from rookie minicamp: Rookie weapons stand out.
• Tom E. Curran’s Rookie minicamp observations: Drake Maye as advertised, a work in progress with all the physical tools to, someday, maybe, approach his much-discussed ceiling; Joe Milton has a cannon of an arm; More.
• Chris Mason gives us 7 takeaways from Patriots rookie minicamp. 1. Both QBs have big arms.
• Alex Barth’s Rookie minicamp notebook: First look at the Class of 2024.
• Mike D’Abate’s Patriots Rookie Minicamp notes: Jerod Mayo reveals ‘a-ha’ moment; More.
• Sophie Weller posts her photos from rookie minicamp at Gillette Stadium.
• Zack Cox tells us how Drake Maye was taking charge at Patriots rookie minicamp.
• Mike D’Abate points out that based on their usage during rookie minicamp, rookie offensive linemen Caedan Wallace and Layden Robinson may each be facing a possible positional switch.
• Christopher Price hears from rookie offensive linemen Caedan Wallace and Layden Robinson, who say they have been ‘inseparable since we got out here’ at minicamp.
• Doug Kyed spotlights how the rookie receivers and offensive linemen are forging early connections at minicamp.
• Alex Barth posts the Patriots rookie jersey numbers for 2024.

Hey guys, I’m a complete beginner in this forum. I’m a content creator, and I want to add AI to my workflow. I want to generate some cool-looking images, as I can see competitors are doing some cartoonistic style images with cool background and some real-looking images with high contrast and saturation. I stumbled upon how to use stable diffusion, but the more I dig into it, the more I get confused.
1) I want the best online paid or free image generation tool that uses stable diff because my laptop can’t handle animate1111 or a comfy UI.
2) I don’t want to train any loras, so simple work: just give a prompt, and an image is generated.
3) If you will suggest that I rent any GPU online, I want the complete process guide of buying one to generate an image because YouTube tutorials are very confusing.
4) And please do let me know: are people earning from those so-called AI models? NS*W pictures I want to generate those too, with consistent faces. I want to know by what means you guys are earning if you want to share thank you.
5) Please don’t suggest to use Mid Journey as it can’t do NS*W pictures.
Please give answers in 1,2,3,4,5 sequence because I’m a dyslexic. Thank you guys. 🙏🏼🩵

Some background: I, Artemis, was not the original Host. They died in what I will call here a System Conflict (this will be a question later to answer). I came here because places like DID seem really bent on shooting down anyone whose system may in some form be different from the usual. The body is diagnosed with DID (I think- It was something similar at least but I haven't been able to see a psychiatrist in years and the Host is, of course, long gone). My questions are as follows:
I know Alters/Fictives don't actually die to you all because that would require the brain to basically kill a part of itself. But we at least perceive death in headspace, I guess is a way to put it? In the System Conflict, we lost quite a few people when it ended. A lot of NAPs (Non-Alter Persons- I think some systems call them NPCs) too. I was wondering why the thought of that occurring in a system is so wrong to a lot of systems out here?
A follow up is birth. I again know to many, alters giving birth is crazy, but I've witnessed it quite a few times and had so myself. I am assuming I'm gonna be told how its fake and such, but reminder, headspace is my home. You can describe what's actually happening, but keep the "not real" sections of this minimal- Seeing them in other forums drives me absolutely bananas. Same question as the last one: why is this seen as impossible to a lot of systems out here?
My final one is on alter formations and roles. We've had alters form in the most random of circumstances. Sometimes the body is completely fine others under an insane amount of stress. However, I've noticed many systems fighting over how Alters/Fictives form, whether it be from trauma or simple stresses. Is there a reason for that? As for the roles question, none of us can really find what box really fits us. We feel like we play multiple roles. Is there a format we are supposed to fit or am I misreading the debates I've seen?
I apologize in advance if any of this sounds outlandish or if I come off as weird. I've only been Host for about 4 years now and I really want to understand some of this rather than letting forums make me feel worse.
To add positivity at the end of this, tell me your happiest memory with a AlteFictive you have. Mine is when my daughters Ruby and Freya was born.
Thank you for reading this essay hehe - Artemis Rose

Am I trans ?
I'm a 20-year-old AMAB (I don't give myself a gender because honestly, I don't even know if I'm really a "man").
I've been asking myself this question for about 1 week and I don't know why, it tortures my mind to have and get an answer.
The question popped into my head like that, one day, when I had just woken up. I read articles about it, started asking around. And all this has greatly interested me.
I'm asking myself this question because I think I may have hit on one of the problems I have in my life, but as I have other specificities, I wonder if it's not just me trying to find a justification for my feelings.
To explain: I have ADHD (diagnosed very young), I have anxiety disorders and I'm also depressed, with a huge lack of self-confidence, so I naturally tend to think that maybe that's why I'm asking myself the question rather than myself, because I see it as a "solution" to "assuming my personality"?
So to find out if this is indeed gender dysphoria or just a sign of my low self-esteem (or maybe the two are related).
The "for" signs:
-I've always been different since I was little. Probably related to my neurodivergence, but that needs to be stressed.
-I'm not particularly attached to my gender. I've always seen myself as more of an entity or a person than a gender. It's borderline if I don't pay attention to the fact that I have a male body.
-I had a lot more girl friends than boy friends when I was young, and I liked them a lot. We used to play a lot together.
-Interest in romance at a young age or stereotypically "feminine" traits such as empathy, kindness, etc. I've always been more valued than my gender. I've always been more valued by my girl friends than my boy friends, who used to make fun of me because I was bad at sports or because I was "weird" (well, that could be attributed to neurodivergence).
-My family used to make fun of me because I wasn't "masculine" enough and I wasn't the male cliché.
-I appreciate "feminine" aesthetics much more than masculine ones. I love to see beautiful women's clothing and how it's made.
-I don't see love the same way my friends do. I have no sexual desire (I'm asexual) and I still see it as a kind of intense spiritual connection.
-When I see heterosexual romances, it disgusts me because they're usually ultra-stereotyped and clichéd. Queer romances excite me much more. And especially lesbian romances.
-I'll say it again: I love the "feminine" aesthetic: fushia colors, pink everywhere, etc. I like to dress in different clothes. I like to dress eccentrically.
-I take the button test (I'd change sex if I could).
-I'm indifferent to my body. It's just "fat" to me (depersonalization).
-Lately, since I've been asking myself this question, I've been dropping a lot of unintentional undertones related to transidentity.
-I play a "hyper-masculine" character who is a caricature of man in his most "primitive" instincts when no one is home to mock those same instincts. I feel like I'm forcing myself to be masculine. I also feel like I also mock myself for being a "insecure man" and a "man" basically.
-I'm a bit ashamed to admit this one, but I'm hypersensitive to being seen as feminine (probably because I've been put down about it since childhood). But it's at a stage where it's ridiculous (I've refused to see films because they were too "girly"... only to see them on the sly when no one sees me). I feel like I'm constantly repressing myself. I fear people thinking I’m not my gender (I was raised in an conservative house) and hating myself, but at the same time, I hate myself for not being able to just be proud of what I like and what I am. I think it’s because I just learned to hate what I am when if I accepted it, I wouldn’t be so triggered of being called "girly".
-I've had a conflict in my head between an "empathetic" version and a "hypermasculine over the top" version for about 4 years.
-Remember when I used to talk about a special romantic bond? I've always had this kind of bond with female fictional characters who have all these qualities, and I envy them for it. Especially the one about the samaritans.
-I feel that being a man will make me unhappy in the future because it will impose things on me that I don't want.
-being trans doesn’t really afraid me, it’s more the consequence and social repercussions that makes me anxious.
Now, the arguments against:
-I'm indifferent to my body, It doesn’t feel weird to have a penis even if I find it not really esthetic, I don't mind being seen as a man, even if since I had that thought about being maybe a trans, I've been embarrassed by being associated with the one. But before that, I didn't care.
-I have interests that are also stereotypically male (history/video games/philosophy/political science/computers/etc.).
-I've never wondered about that recently. I don't have gender dysphoria. It's just that I feel like I'm repressing my feminine side.
-I'm afraid of being a woman. People are ALL going to judge me, and I'll get imposter syndrome. But normally, you're supposed to be proud to express yourself as such.
-I have stereotypically masculine traits. Not a lot, but there are some: competition, wanting to be disciplined and so on.
-I like to make vulgar jokes or behave like a male cliché (I'm also putting this here because it can also be a "against" sign).
-I enjoy interacting with my male friends. I like to play into their sarcasm.
-Maybe it's just a sign of low self-esteem.
-I've only asked myself this question recently.
-I haven't felt any body dysfunction and my body seems to like testosterone.
-I behave too much like a "man" for my taste.
I apologize if this sounds a bit misogynistic or misandrist or cliché, but I wanted to be as authentic as possible in my description.
Thank you in advance for your response. I look forward to reading your opinions on it.

I had an argument with my this morning over if I will give her my phone. Basically, I'm about to graduate from high school, and my uncle is giving me a new iPhone 13 as a gift. I honestly don't need it because I already have two phones. Then my mom demanded me to still take it and give it to her instead because she need a new phone (she have an iPhone 10). I understood her concerns and I won't really have a problem with that. But I will give it to her under one condition ONLY, if she apologized for what she did to me in January, she broke my iPhone 12 pro max, basically smashed and destroyed it. For a single reason, I didn't go to bed at 23:00 and I was playing games on my phone (Boom, classical AP behavior, she never apologized/compensated me, so I had to get myself a new iPhone 12 pro max). Oh be aware, she didn't pay for any of the phone I possess. After hearing my request, she then started to saying that it's her responsibility and she have the right to take care of me, breaking my phone was just part of the action.
I almost wanted to start laughing right there, but I told her tha her behavior isn't a responsibility, it's an act of violence. She then start saying, oh see if I will do that after you turn 18, I won't because you aren't responsibility of me anymore. I still wanted an apology, I'm not even looking for compensation anymore (giving up hope already). She then started ranting about how I'm ungrateful for everything she has done, everything she did for me and my sister. How she paid for school field trip, and all the sacrifices she made for me and my sister. I am grateful for what she did, but that's not her excuse of committing such action against me and my sister (she broke my sister's remote control b/c she got mad at her, too). Now I thought about what she said, I think she's trying to play the guilt trap card again (or I'm being delustional). With what happened, I wanted to either reject my uncle's gift or keep it and resale it.
Just wanted to know if other APs have apologized/compensated y'all, and under what circumstance. Please let me know, thank you so much!

I'm a 20-year-old AMAB (I don't give myself a gender because honestly, I don't even know if I'm really a "man").
I've been asking myself this question for about 1 week and I don't know why, it tortures my mind to have and get an answer.
The question popped into my head like that, one day, when I had just woken up. I read articles about it, started asking around. And all this has greatly interested me.
I'm asking myself this question because I think I may have hit on one of the problems I have in my life, but as I have other specificities, I wonder if it's not just me trying to find a justification for my feelings.
To explain: I have ADHD (diagnosed very young), I have anxiety disorders and I'm also depressed, with a huge lack of self-confidence, so I naturally tend to think that maybe that's why I'm asking myself the question rather than myself, because I see it as a "solution" to "assuming my personality"?
So to find out if this is indeed gender dysphoria or just a sign of my low self-esteem (or maybe the two are related).
The "for" signs:
-I've always been different since I was little. Probably related to my neurodivergence, but that needs to be stressed.
-I'm not particularly attached to my gender. I've always seen myself as more of an entity or a person than a gender. It's borderline if I don't pay attention to the fact that I have a male body.
-I had a lot more girl friends than boy friends when I was young, and I liked them a lot. We used to play a lot together.
-Interest in romance at a young age or stereotypically "feminine" traits such as empathy, kindness, etc. I've always been more valued than my gender. I've always been more valued by my girl friends than my boy friends, who used to make fun of me because I was bad at sports or because I was "weird" (well, that could be attributed to neurodivergence).
-My family used to make fun of me because I wasn't "masculine" enough and I wasn't the male cliché.
-I appreciate "feminine" aesthetics much more than masculine ones. I love to see beautiful women's clothing and how it's made.
-I don't see love the same way my friends do. I have no sexual desire (I'm asexual) and I still see it as a kind of intense spiritual connection.
-When I see heterosexual romances, it disgusts me because they're usually ultra-stereotyped and clichéd. Queer romances excite me much more. And especially lesbian romances.
-I'll say it again: I love the "feminine" aesthetic: fushia colors, pink everywhere, etc. I like to dress in different clothes. I like to dress eccentrically.
-I take the button test (I'd change sex if I could).
-I'm indifferent to my body. It's just "fat" to me (depersonalization).
-Lately, since I've been asking myself this question, I've been dropping a lot of unintentional undertones related to transidentity.
-I play a "hyper-masculine" character who is a caricature of man in his most "primitive" instincts when no one is home to mock those same instincts. I feel like I'm forcing myself to be masculine. I also feel like I also mock myself for being a "insecure man" and a "man" basically.
-I'm a bit ashamed to admit this one, but I'm hypersensitive to being seen as feminine (probably because I've been put down about it since childhood). But it's at a stage where it's ridiculous (I've refused to see films because they were too "girly"... only to see them on the sly when no one sees me). I feel like I'm constantly repressing myself. I fear people thinking I’m not my gender (I was raised in an conservative house) and hating myself, but at the same time, I hate myself for not being able to just be proud of what I like and what I am. I think it’s because I just learned to hate what I am when if I accepted it, I wouldn’t be so triggered of being called "girly".
-I've had a conflict in my head between an "empathetic" version and a "hypermasculine over the top" version for about 4 years.
-Remember when I used to talk about a special romantic bond? I've always had this kind of bond with female fictional characters who have all these qualities, and I envy them for it. Especially the one about the samaritans.
-I feel that being a man will make me unhappy in the future because it will impose things on me that I don't want.
-being trans doesn’t really afraid me, it’s more the consequence and social repercussions that makes me anxious.
Now, the arguments against:
-I'm indifferent to my body, It doesn’t feel weird to have a penis even if I find it not really esthetic, I don't mind being seen as a man, even if since I had that thought about being maybe a trans, I've been embarrassed by being associated with the one. But before that, I didn't care.
-I have interests that are also stereotypically male (history/video games/philosophy/political science/computers/etc.).
-I've never wondered about that recently. I don't have gender dysphoria. It's just that I feel like I'm repressing my feminine side.
-I'm afraid of being a woman. People are ALL going to judge me, and I'll get imposter syndrome. But normally, you're supposed to be proud to express yourself as such.
-I have stereotypically masculine traits. Not a lot, but there are some: competition, wanting to be disciplined and so on.
-I like to make vulgar jokes or behave like a male cliché (I'm also putting this here because it can also be a "against" sign).
-I enjoy interacting with my male friends. I like to play into their sarcasm.
-Maybe it's just a sign of low self-esteem.
-I've only asked myself this question recently.
-I haven't felt any body dysfunction and my body seems to like testosterone.
-I behave too much like a "man" for my taste.
I apologize if this sounds a bit misogynistic or misandrist or cliché, but I wanted to be as authentic as possible in my description.
Thank you in advance for your response. I look forward to reading your opinions on it.

Hi All,
Wanted to share with you all that I launched an expansion pack for Hill Hill today! Hill Hill is a first of its kind, card-based billiards strategy game. See links below for more info:

• Hill Hill Expansion Pack Vol. I
• [Hill Hill (original)](Hill%20Hill%20(original))
• Website (more info on Hill Hill if you’re new to the game)

What’s included in the expansion pack (75 cards total):

• New RUN cards (45) – I made many of these quite hard
• POWER RUN cards (6) –pocked balls in order, no ball in hand
• KICK cards (8) – kick off rails to make your object ball, avoid obstacles
• SOLOSHOT cards (8) – one shot, plain and simple, designed to mimic an 8 or 9 ball “end of game” shot
• LEAVE cards (8) – make a ball and leave the cue ball in a designated “safe” area

How the expansions pack can be used:

• The game is going to be best used integrated with the original Hill Hill game. For example, if you’re successful with a POWER RUN card, it gives you abilities/protection that can be used when playing Hill Hill with a group.
• These new cards also add more variety to a Hill Hill game. Bring in the card types/RUNS you want, blend the decks, and make each game a little more unique.
• That being said, the majority of people I hear from are using these cards as consistent practice tools. Tracking their success rates on multiple attempts using the consistent patterns. The goal isn’t being successful once, it’s being about to complete a RUN/pattern 80-90% of the time. If that’s your goal, the expansion pack is very much for you.

Using your feedback:

• First off, I really can’t thank you all enough for the feedback I’ve gotten on here since launching Hill Hill. I am still learning how to run/improve this while also managing, well, life.
• The price is down about 10%. I know in the grand scheme of things it’s not much, but just starting year 2, I’m a little smarter and more efficient, so I’m just passing those savings I’ve realized on.
• These new card types (leaves, kicks, etc.) were derived from feedback/discussions from all of you. Again, thank you!

Finally…

• Please keep the ideas/feedback coming. I’m equally as interested in hearing what you like as I am hearing what you don’t like or how this game can be improved.
• I’m very appreciative of the support. Whether it’s buying the game, providing feedback, or just mentioning it to a friend. A review on Amazon (again – positive or negative) – helps both me and other players.
• Hit me up with any questions.

First off, I am a girl from The Netherlands so English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistakes.
Let me give you a little back story. Before my dad met my mom he had a wife (lets call her Anna) they got married in 1999 and had been together since they were 16. Anna and him had a daughter in 1995 (my half sister, lets call her Charlotte) when they were 23 years old. Although Anna and my dad were very toxic for each other he never let that affect the way he loved Charlotte, more than anything and treated like a princess, as he should of course, eventually in 2002 Anna and dad got divorced. A year after the divorce my dad met my mom and had me on accident. They were kind of in a on/off relationship nothing official, then my mom got pregnant with me although they didn’t plan it they did decide to keep me but they never became a real couple. They never really had any problems with each other so they stayed friends. My dad is Italian and lives in Italy and my mom is Dutch and lives in The Netherlands, because my parents live in two different countries I needed a primary residence/parent which was my mom. I mainly lived with her and would go to my dad whenever i had holidays/vacations from school or he would come to me. He has always been a good dad but it was clear that Charlotte was the favourite. And i was always jealous of the attention and love that she got. I know my dad loves me very much but not like he loves Charlotte. Charlotte and I didn’t have a great bond she knew she was the favourite and would always make that known, she would bully me and make rude comments about me and my dad would just let it happen this went on for years and she made me really insecure.
One day when we were on vacation i wanted to go swimming in the ocean but I have epilepsy so I can’t swim unattended my dad send Charlotte to go with me, after an hour while i was still in the ocean Charlotte went back to our resort house without telling me and left me alone in the pool thankfully nothing happened but it could’ve ended badly. My dad for the first time ever stood up for me and made her apologise but i knew she wasn’t sorry.
As I got older I became more distant from my dad because of this, I used to be a big daddy’s girl but am now totally a mama’s girl. Skip forward to when i was 17, my mom passed away and i had to move in with my dad. Now let’s go forward a year later. At this point Charlotte was 25 and had already moved out en had gotten engaged. I was in my final year and was going to graduate, everyone including Charlotte and my dad knew my graduation was going to be on June 22 and out of nowhere Charlotte decided her wedding was going to be that same day she claimed she didn’t know that was my graduation date. I got mad at her and demanded that she would change the day because i had that date first but she didn’t want to. Our dad tried talking her into changing the date even to June 23 would’ve been fine but she didn’t want to and insisted on June 22. My dad was going to have to choose between walking Charlotte down the aisle or watching me graduate and I already knew what he was going to choose, Charlotte, and he did. I was secretly hoping he would change his mind so I reserved a spot for him but his seat at my graduation was empty. Not long after i moved back to The Netherlands and started living together with 2 of my friends and I haven’t been in contact with my dad or Charlotte ever since i moved and its been great. My uncle (dad’s brother) came to visit me because we still have a great bond. He told me he understood my side but he thought i was a little extreme for going no contact with them because he’s still my dad. I considered it and unblocked my dad’s number and sent him a text in the text message was talking about why i went no contact and how him and Charlotte made me feel and maybe meeting up so that he can apologise but he said he had nothing to apologise for and I took that as a sign of him also not being interested in contact anymore. Although him saying that he had nothing to apologise for kind of hurt me I expected it and was not surprised.
I have no desire to get back in contact with my dad anymore after all that’s happened over the years between me him and Charlotte which is more than the small portion i told you about in this post.
Personally i don’t think i was in the wrong but i need an unbiased opinion so I decided to come here.
AITAH?

⚠️TW sexual assault ⚠️
Throw way for privacy and legal reasons
Posting here cause the AITA page doesn’t allow post that include talking about sexual assault. (If this subreddit also doesn’t please take down thank you)
Sorry it’s so long I just wanted to give as much context as possible
So a little backstory is that I now 18F am friends with now 18M (Let’s call him Ben). Became friends in high school due to having mutual friends. I thought he was a very kind person that always looked out for his friends. I recently move about 3 hours away to attend university and I had said in passing that I would love to be the first person to take Ben out clubbing due to he had never been because of strict parents.
Now Ben decided that he wanted to come to the city I’m living in to visit his uncle that is also living in the city and he decided that he wanted to go out on the weekend and invited me. I said yes and suggested a night club that I had been to before. Anyway the night came and Ben his uncle who is 24 (I know as soon as I heard uncle I thought old too 😅). I when over to Ben’s uncles place that afternoon to meet him and catch up with Ben as it had been a while since I had seen him.
When went to a bar that was not to far away from the uncles place for a couple of hours and we all had a couple of drink. At about 10pm we headed over to the night club I had suggested. All three of us stayed there till about 2am when the guys said they wanted to go back to the uncles. I said I would just head back to mine as I was tired and had one too many drinks. I booked an Uber and wait at one of the main Uber spots. The guys had already left at this point. Having already gotten their own Uber.
Again TW sexual assault
Long story short a man pulled up and think it was my Uber I got in and he sexually assaulted me. While in the Uber I had call the police 3 separate time but couldn’t actually talk to them because I was still in the car with this man and I was scared. I was able to make him pull over under the guidelines that I was going to throw up. Anyway I was able to get back to mine and that when I called the police a fourth time and they came that time. (The police have found the guy who sexually assaulted me and I’m just waiting for it to be talent to court)
It was about 10am that morning that I got back and I messaged Ben to ask if he and his uncle were able to do a police statement (if they didn’t want to I was totally fine with that) because the detectives had asked me to ask them. I explained what had happen and he said he would and he would ask his uncle. It is now today and has been a week since and I haven’t heard anything from Ben (I gave him the number to call to organise a statement). The detective on the case called today and asked again if they could. I thought Ben had already as the uncle does not want to be involved which is totally up to him.
I messaged Ben again just said ‘hey was just wondering if u had time to do the statement for me?’ Ben then told me ‘I’m busy at work and don’t have to time to be involved in this shit’. Ben had never spoke to me like this before so I was taken aback and responded with ‘you could be a bit more sensitive and u could have said when I first asked that u didn’t want to’. Anyway the argument escalated and I blocked Ben.
I now feel bad as I have been getting angry faster then normal and I am kinda mad at the work at the moment. So am I the asshole for be rude to him? We have been friends for about 4 years now and I don’t really want to lose a friend on top of everything else.
(I am currently in therapy and I am addressing how I get angry all the time now)

Hi All,
Wanted to share with you all that I launched an expansion pack for Hill Hill today! See links below:

• Hill Hill Expansion Pack Vol. I
• [Hill Hill (original)](Hill%20Hill%20(original))
• Website (more info on Hill Hill if you’re new to the game)

What’s included in the expansion pack (75 cards total):

• New RUN cards (45) – I made many of these quite hard
• POWER RUN cards (6) –pocked balls in order, no ball in hand
• KICK cards (8) – kick off rails to make your object ball, avoid obstacles
• SOLOSHOT cards (8) – one shot, plain and simple, designed to mimic an 8 or 9 ball “end of game” shot
• LEAVE cards (8) – make a ball and leave the cue ball in a designated “safe” area

How the expansions pack can be used:

• The game is going to be best used integrated with the original Hill Hill game. For example, if you’re successful with a POWER RUN card, it gives you abilities/protection that can be used when playing Hill Hill with a group.
• These new cards also add more variety to a Hill Hill game. Bring in the card types/RUNS you want, blend the decks, and make each game a little more unique.
• That being said, the majority of people I hear from are using these cards as consistent practice tools. Tracking their success rates on multiple attempts using the consistent patterns. The goal isn’t being successful once, it’s being about to complete a RUN/pattern 80-90% of the time. If that’s your goal, the expansion pack is very much for you.

Using your feedback:

• First off, I really can’t thank you all enough for the feedback I’ve gotten on here since launching Hill Hill. I am still learning how to run/improve this while also managing, well, life.
• The price is down about 10%. I know in the grand scheme of things it’s not much, but just starting year 2, I’m a little smarter and more efficient, so I’m just passing those savings I’ve realized on.
• These new card types (leaves, kicks, etc.) were derived from feedback/discussions from all of you. Again, thank you!

Finally…

• Please keep the ideas/feedback coming. I’m equally as interested in hearing what you like as I am hearing what you don’t like or how this game can be improved.
• I’m very appreciative of the support. Whether it’s buying the game, providing feedback, or just mentioning it to a friend. A review on Amazon (again – positive or negative) – helps both me and other players.
• Hit me up with any questions.

The Kamakhya Temple is a recognized Hindu temple that is devoted to the mother goddess Kamakhya, which is located in Guwahati, Assam. It is one of the most significant Shakti Peethas and a highly important Tantric temple that is related to the Tantric practices like vashikaran.
Vashikaran is an ancient Tantrik ritual from the past, which is used to attract any person to you. It is a process that involves the utterance of loud and strong vashikaran mantras and the execution of some rituals that are specified by an expert Tantrik. The Kamakhya temple is considered by a lot of people to be the most powerful place to do vashikaran sadhanas as it has a very strong Shakti energy.
The Kamakhya vashikaran mantra is one of the most potent vashikaran mantras which can be used to influence any person you want. The regular verbal recitation of this mantra aids in the attainment of siddhis and, thus, the ritual becomes more powerful. Nevertheless, these siddhis are to be utilized wisely for good purposes, not for the harm of others. The overuse of such great mantras can lead to the opposite outcome.
How to practice Kamakhya vashikaran mantra:The method of practicing Kamakhya vashikaran mantra can be divided into the following steps: - Begin by getting into a comfortable and relaxed position. - Recite the mantra with a clear understanding of its meaning and purpose. - Focus on the object of your desire and visualize it in your mind. - Maintain a positive and confident mindset throughout the process. - Do not get frustrated if immediate
Begin the ceremony in the evening on a no moon day or Friday night. Table, light oil lamps, agarbatti, and flowers are the offering to the goddess. Dishes like kheer or payasam and flowers are usually offered to her.
The table is set on the eastern side of a red mat in a secluded place. Wear red clothes. Do not allow any distractions or obstacles to hamper your progress. The ritual period is a time of celibacy and living the satvik life.
Take pleasure in the stillness and reflect on the goddess Kamakhya. Present to the Kamakhya beej mantra named "Kleem" to increase the energy level and to establish a precise goal.
Therefore, the chanting of the Kamakhya vashikaran mantra 108 times with whole heart starts. Make a joke for numbering. The mantra is:
"Om, I serve the Gods, I bow to the Gods, the Gods will help me, therefore, I will easily be able to meet the Gods. "
The most efficient way to address the issue is to give thanks to the goddess Kamakhya and beg for forgiveness if you make a mistake. Enquire from her to get the siddhi by means of the mantra. I will not tell anybody and I will only use it in the right manner.
Do the activity for 48 days in a row to get the whole results. Stick to all the rules firmly and not missing a single one. Try the mantra on your closest one after 48 days of chanting on that one. Once you have attained the goal, you can use it to get your special person to be attracted to you.
Note:
The abuse of any vashikaran mantras can be the cause of the hell in relationships and lives. Hence, take it into account but if really necessary, it is definitely worth it.
The enforcement of the strict compliance to the protocols is a must, or the task may fail or backfire.
It is a tough task to get siddhi through the hard mantras, it demands a lot of positive energy, discipline and practice.
Signs of Kamakhya vashikaran mantra working:
The anxious person will start to think about you out of nowhere.
He/she will be the one who will call you and asking you to connect.
They will keep thinking of you and feel more attracted and connected to you.
They will turn you into their favorite person and will give you more attention than others.
They will only agree to your proposals and recommendations.
Hence, the Kamakhya temple is a temple that is explicitly designed for the extremely tantrik rituals aimed at the acquisition of siddis. The Kamakhya vashikaran mantra which has been used by the sadhaks for generations is still very powerful. One could acquire the mastery of almost any person after the exportation of discipline, practice and blessings from Maa Kamakhya. Nevertheless, mystic siddhi should not be abused and can only be practiced under the supervision of a Guru.
Online Free Consultation With Baba Ji Please Visit:
https://www.astrobabag.com/

KamakhyaVashikaranMantra #LoveVashikaran #PowerfulMantras #MagicalMantras #DivineEnergy #AttractionMantras #PositiveVibes #ManifestLove #SpiritualAwakening #HealingMantras #HappyRelationships #PositiveMinds #InnerPeaceMantras #EnergyHealing #LatestSpiritualTrends #ManifestingDesires #HarmonyAndLove #PositiveAffirmations #LawOfAttractionTips #AbundanceInLife #WellnessJourney.

What is minecraft?
Minecraft is a very popular sandbox game, where you can do so many things like exploring and surviving in an open world with you friends or alone, build your own world in creative or even play minigames like PVP, skywars and skyblock in servers made by the community
Why do I want minecraft?
I've been playing minecraft for a very long time, I got it as a gift on my birthday 6 years ago but after minecraft forced accoutns to migrate to microsoft I lost access to the account because I no longer had access to the email the account was on, and so I haven't played the game in 2 years and I'd really love to get back to the game once again and play survival and some of my favorite minigames like skywars in hypixel. I can't buy the game because I'm still a student and don't I don't have a source of income or a credit card to buy games.
How to gift?
On the official website or the microsoft store there is an option to "buy as gift", it asks for my email address so if anyone wants to buy it please DM me and I'll give you my email address
Thanks and have a great day :)

Melina is an intriguing character because she is connected to many of the game's fundamental themes and secondary characters.
The character most similar to Melina is Millicent: they both wear the same robe and are in search of their destinies. However, Millicent's quest is driven by her lost memory, which she slowly regains, while Melina's motives are more ambiguous. I believe Melina lies about forgetting her purpose, as there are numerous inconsistencies in her statements throughout the game. For example, she initially says that seeking the Elden Ring involves violating the Golden Order, but then she takes us to the Round Table, where the Two Fingers instruct us to restore that very order. She claims not to know her purpose but already knows we should oppose the Order, which we do by burning the Erdtree—a task she helps us accomplish by enabling us to pass the thorns after she discover the purpose. The inconsistencies don’t stop there. Consider the famous issue of “what it means to be born of a mother”... Both Melina and Millicent head towards the tree where their mother is, but upon reaching Elphael, Millicent reveals that she is actually a blood relative of Malenia, while Melina never explicitly states who her mother is, if she even has one. You might think it’s obvious, yet the game doesn’t shy away from redundancy on key topics. Returning to Millicent, both characters understand their missions once they reach the base of the tree, and their sacrifices are necessary for us to fulfill their purposes. For both characters, this purpose becomes deeply subjective, driven not from above (by Gowry and ‘Melina’s mother’) but by their own set of values, closely connected to their nature. Both must rectify a mistake made by their mother, which led them to lose something. Both of their stories have double endings, one of which requires our betrayal. It is peculiar how betrayal reveals their true nature or their 'element.' Respecting their will also preserves their humanity. Even in the endings, there is a difference: Millicent's death is much more emotionally painful than Melina’s, who remains impassive even when burned by the flames of ruin. Melina, as usual, plays a role and is not entirely honest: she pretends to be the maiden and pretends to trust us but actually tests us, whereas Torrent trusts us immediately (despite initial appearances).
The second character who shares similarities with Melina is Ranni. They both have closed eyes, though opposite ones: the left for Ranni and the right for Melina, if considering Ranni's spiritual half. The parallels are subtle but clear: both have dual natures typical of the Empyrean and bring death back to the gods, believing it necessary to free the Lands Between from stasis. This contrasts with becoming the Lord of Chaos, which implies ruling an immutable and lifeless world. There are also notable differences between the two: Melina is a spirit who can physically manifest and fight, while Ranni is a soul who needs a puppet. We could almost say Melina is of the same substance as Torrent, connecting us to the third character, Miquella. However, until the DLC is released, it would be best to avoid further speculation about him.
Melina shares the same role as the Gloam-Eyed Queen. Bringing death to the gods. In the frenzied flame ending, the left eye finally opens. It’s not just the fact that Melina has a purple eye that is relevant; it’s the entire cinematic and narrative construction of the game that compels us to give importance to that eye. The last scene in the game before the end credits is a sequence where Melina finally opens her sealed eye—a detail that has intrigued us since the first trailer; this eye happens to be a gloam-colored eye, framed in close-up within a scene practically devoid of colors except for the eye itself; a fading that darkens the entire scene until it reaches a black screen, but the eye remains brilliant; at last, she says "Destined Death" and the game ends. Blaidd and Maliketh share the same shade of purple eyes, although the texture differs. Both are shadows of an empyrean. Their purpose is to ‘stop’ (kill) a god when it acts against the Greater Will. Thus, the Gloam-Eyed Queen and the shadows of the empyrean share the same role as godslayers. Vargram, aspiring to become a shadow, wields the godslayer greatsword. Melina comes back when we become the lord of the Frenzied Flame, which means to be its vessel; similarly, Marika serves as the vessel of the Elden Ring, so we can say we share the same level of 'divinity' as Marika, who is also killed by us only thanks to Melina; so, Melina's purpose lead to death of a god anyway.
In conclusion, for me Melina is an ambiguous and 'unfinished' character because she is the result of a broken bond between Marika and the Gloam-Eyed queen. A bond that is therefore impossible to reconstruct with certainty (and consequently perfectly coherent with the characteristic narrative of From Software games, in which the player is required to become an active participant), but necessary to bring balance to the Lands Between.

Hi All,
Wanted to share with you all that I launched an expansion pack for Hill Hill today! See links below:

• Hill Hill Expansion Pack Vol. I
• [Hill Hill (original)](Hill%20Hill%20(original))
• Website (more info on Hill Hill if you’re new to the game)

What’s included in the expansion pack (75 cards total):

• New RUN cards (45) – I made many of these a bit harder
• POWER RUN cards (6) –pocket balls in order, no ball in hand
• KICK cards (8) – kick off rails to make your object ball, avoid obstacles
• SOLOSHOT cards (8) – one shot, plain and simple, designed to mimic an 8 or 9 ball “end of game” shot
• LEAVE cards (8) – make a ball and leave the cue ball in a designated “safe” area

How the expansions pack can be used:

• The game is going to be best used integrated with the original Hill Hill game. For example, if you’re successful with a POWER RUN card, it gives you abilities/protection that can be used when playing Hill Hill with a group. You'll need to work for it, though.
• These new cards also add more variety to a Hill Hill game. Bring in the card types/RUNS you want, blend the decks, and make each game a little more unique.
• That being said, the majority of people I hear from are using these cards as consistent practice tools. Tracking their success rates on multiple attempts using the consistent patterns. The goal isn’t being successful once, it’s being about to complete a RUN/pattern 80-90% of the time. If that’s your goal, the expansion pack is very much for you.

Using your feedback:

• First off, I really can’t thank you all enough for the feedback I’ve gotten on here since launching Hill Hill. I am still learning how to run/improve this while also managing, well, life.
• The price is down about 10%. I know in the grand scheme of things it’s not much, but just starting year 2, I’m a little smarter and more efficient, so I’m just passing those savings I’ve realized on.
• These new card types (leaves, kicks, etc.) were derived from feedback/discussions from all of you. Again, thank you!

Finally…

• Please keep the ideas/feedback coming. I’m equally as interested in hearing what you like as I am hearing what you don’t like or how this game can be improved.
• I’m very appreciative of the support. Whether it’s buying the game, providing feedback, or just mentioning it to a friend. A review on Amazon (again – positive or negative) – is probably the #1 thing you can do to help me and other players.
• Hit me up with any questions.

A lot of write posts about peoples experience with their Bi-Salp helped me prepare for mine so I thought I would post about my personal experience!!
So about three years ago, I got my copper IUD placed. I didn’t want to try any hormonal birth control because I tend to be hormone imbalanced, considering I got my period when I was nine years old and I already had ovarian cyst when I was 12 I didn’t want to add to the mix. For the first two years of me having it because my wedding ended up getting postponed due to Covid January 2023, I got married started my first year with the copper IUD being actually sexually active. I always loved my IUD because of the presence of no side effects. Other than the fact that my periods were terrible my periods would fluctuate from being seven days to eight days to 14 days to 20 days long. Throughout the month, I would always spot and have random cramping and then on the day cycle or the day leading up, I was already spotting a lot.. I would take 800 mg of ibuprofen every four hours for the entirety of my period because I could not Barrett all of this medication definitely affected my gut health. Towards the fall of last year, I felt like my cycles were getting a little lighter. Finally I thought I’m about to be three years with this may be it will be regulating a little more soon even with the copper had an extreme paranoia of anxiety, but I didn’t realize how extreme my anxiety is now that this risk of getting pregnant I felt was so prevalent, even though I had a obsess over people and I didn’t use any other form of birth control like condoms because I didn’t really like how it felt. I was always paranoid sitting on the toilet for hours waiting for everything to come out not doing anything for two weeks out of the month I include my period and then my ovulation week because that would also make me more paranoid. The last few months of a light cycle I got the worst cycles I had ever gotten they lasted about three weeks with giant clotting and in general I would always be having to wear. Diapers. I would wear a diaper with a pad on the inside of it and I would go through that every hour and a half so my blood loss was intense after my cycle I would get super lightheaded and the worst part is that I have always been chronically anemic my whole life I’m also vegetarian. I don’t eat meat.. It was a perfect storm. The anemia was being affected by the IUD blood loss and then I was diagnosed with heavy menstrual hemorrhaging. so in January, I decided to go to the doctor and see if there was any other options. Still, I knew that birth-control with hormones was not some thing I wanted. I was referred to a minimally, invasive, OB/GYN surgeon, and I asked about getting a Bi-Salp. he spoke to me about the whole process, and I was very excited that day we decided to take my IUD out, which thankfully was not as painful as the torturous insertion. His plan was let’s see how my natural cycle after. Take the IUD out if my bleeding regulates and I’m not losing as much blood. Would be a good option, but then it will be evident that the IUD is not the cause and that it’s a further issue and then they were considering doing a hysterectomy so that I would no longer get a cycle and I wouldn’t have to worry about my anemia by taking the IUD out sure enough my cycles got better two months and my cycles went from a two week. 22 Would be a good option, but then it will be evident that the IUD is not the cause and that it’s a further issue and then they were considering doing a hysterectomy so that I would no longer get a cycle and I wouldn’t have to worry about my anemia, but by taking the IUD out sure enough my cycles got better two months and my cycles went from a two week period to a 2 to 3 day. to 3 day period. Not even days after removing my copper IUD I felt so much relief. I felt a fullness disappear that I didn’t even realize was there in the first place and a lot of other things changed to my skin got clear and overall I felt less anxious. I believe that the copper in the IUD had been causing me some sort of copper toxicity. so after two months, I called the doctor and told him that my period had gotten better so I went back and we schedule the Bi-Salp. So I went two months without any birth control and stayed away from my husband. Lol, thankfully at the end of the two months I was able to get my surgery and a week before my surgery. I went to a regular visit with my OB and they did an ultrasound and they saw that they’re good possibly be a polyp on my uterus so when they went in to do my procedure, they also did a Oppie with to see if there was any polyps and remove the polyps that were there. They also found some cysts that they removed and I also had some endometriosis growing on my left tube and ovary thankfully they were able to remove! For the surgery and leading up to it, I stayed away away from any foods that would make me gassy and anything that would constipate me. I was drinking MiraLAX in my tea every night for the week leading up to the surgery.
Surgery day of: On the morning of the surgery, I was advised to not take my Vyvanse, which I use for anxiety and ADHD. So I skipped it and just drink water since I have been fasting since 10 PM the night before. When I arrive to the hospital, I was able to go to the bathroom thankfully and then started getting prepped for surgery. They obviously had me do a urine test and then got me set up with my IV where they would insure all of my meds this was very painful, but I sat and waited before I was feeling loopy. They gave me the anti-stress and anxiety medication before they administered the anesthesia and suddenly I was knocked out. All I remember is walking into the surgery room and thinking wow this is like Grey’s Anatomy and then knocking out next thing, I remember I wake up in the room and I am very groggy and out of it. Thankfully, the anesthesia did not cause nausea. The hardest part during this transition was getting me to pee because I kept wanting to fall asleep so badly but they kept telling me if I didn’t pee then I wouldn’t be able to go home to finally sleep so I was bloated and swollen And I finally peed the second time. After that, I was discharged and my family did a great job at trying to keep me awake while we drove home because I was asleep in the car that could get nauseous and throw up, which would hurt my belly from making those kind of movements. Thankfully, I got home and I knocked out on the couch. I woke up dazed and confused but feeling a lot better and refreshed. I felt good for about an hour and then the pain started, but not any sort of abdominal pain from the surgery itself. It was just the Thankfully, I got home and I knocked out on the couch. I woke up dazed and confused but feeling a lot better and refreshed. I felt good for about an hour and then the pain started, but not any sort of abdominal pain from the surgery itself. It was just the pain from the gas pain from the laparoscopic surgery. This pain was definitely intense and it progressed my worst day was the day after the surgery. But that same night after the surgery was difficult because I could not find any position where I was comfortable. I was taking Gas-X every two hours charcoal pills every two hours and ibuprofen and Tylenol alternated every four hours. They gave me OXY if I wanted to take it, but I never did because I didn’t wanna get constipated and I really didn’t feel any pain that the oxy could resolve pain medication does not resolve gas pain. First night I slept propped up with a lot of pillows around me holding my belly holding me from every position where I could put more weight to add pain to my body well, I didn’t really sleep that night, but I tried to sleep, but I rested upright on the couch and I was up maybe every hour going to pee and walking around because the best advice I could give is just walk as much as it hurts. Everything hurts with these gas pain so I feel better to be walking around in pain than to be sitting down, knowing that I’m not actually resolving any of the gases that is the only way the gases will escape your body. That was exhausting because I could not sleep as much as I wanted to. the day was extremely painful trapped in my ribs. It felt like someone had a split my ribs but again I had no tenderness or soreness in my abdomen no cramping anything like that. I complain the most and the most uncomfortable part of everything was just being very very bloated and not being able to suck in my stomach. I’m naturally a very thin person so having my stomach was frustrating because none of my clothes fit me comfortably. The bloating started from the top of my rib cage all the way down. But I kept up with charcoal pills and Gas-X, and I’m thinking the charcoal definitely help because I would notice a difference after taking that even more so than the Gas-X. I finally was able to go to the bathroom after the surgery and thankfully it was a smooth transition to going into the bathroom. I’m sure the MiraLAX helped because of that and I had hardly been eating because my stomach was so swollen and were so severe that even one bite of food in my stomach would make everything swell up even more and it it would hurt me. So those first few days I kept it very light. The second night after the surgery was another miserable night. I almost cried that night because I thought I was gonna lose my mind. I hadn’t slept or napped all day because the pain would prevent me from being able to rest in a comfortable position and then all night again, I did not sleep, those were the hardest 2 nights. The following day I saw a tiny bit of progress with the gas pain. But eventually, I think I got used to it by Saturday surgery having been Monday. I felt significantly better still very swollen but better. Sunday I left the house for the first time got ready put normal clothes on. The loosest clothes that I had. And that was nice to finally leave the house and try to do something normal, came back and was definitely exhausted and rested for the rest of the day by this point I was no longer taking any pain medication. Just the charcoal pills. By Monday I was feeling significantly better. I had gotten my cycle over the weekend and it was not a very painful cycle. Just a little bit of mild cramping and bleeding but nothing crazy on Wednesday. I had my follow up appointment a week and a half after surgery and I was cleared for all activity and just told to be careful with how heavy things are when I lift them to stay away from anything more than 30 pounds. I had sex for the first time in three months because of the fact that I had no birth control before my surgery for those two months when they had taken my IUD out. It was a little bit painful because my body had gotten used to sex and no penetration at all. Very quickly my bodygot used to it again. And I enjoyed it so much. I was scared to have an orgasm because I had heard online that some people complained of cramping after the orgasm, but I had no cramping at all only enjoyment. The fact that I was able to do everything I wanted without any anxiety that I would get pregnant without having to do anything to prevent that was liberating and it literally has improved my sex life incredibly and just the short amount of time today I am 2 1/2 weeks postop. And I feel great. My incisions are healing really well and I’m about to start using scar tape for the scars. I have barely any gases. My stomach is as flat as it normally is, and I’ve been feeling wonderful. The only thing I noticed after my surgery was a little bit of breaking out right after the surgery, but they said that that was normal since a lot of the drugs and medicine they put into your system for surgery is basically detoxing after you come out of surgery so it comes out of your body in different ways. I do not regret this surgery. It has completely changed my mindset towards life. I feel free finally. I’m sure my age has a lot to do with my recovery time and overall I’m a very sickly person for my age so I was expecting for this recovery to take me weeks to months, but I am feeling wonderful. I’m about to be the maid of honor for a wedding this Friday and I feel no restraint and dancing or anything of this sort. I’m grateful I didn’t get any soreness or pain in my abdomen after the surgery and that all I had to deal with was the severe gas pain. I know that is not everyone’s experience, but that was mine and I’m very happy with it. Just wanted to share some details on how everything went and hopefully this can be helpful to someone. Thankfully, my insurance covered most of the procedure and all I had to pay was $1,500. I have never been happier with a decision in my life.

This story starts with me being unemployed and having about $6-7,000 in savings while living with my parents, to getting employed, earning more than I ever had before, and yet being almost never so broke. Him requesting money is done through SMS unless otherwise stated. I don't think I'll be putting a TLDR in, it's sort of a lot regardless.
Why am I telling you this story? There's a strange phenomenon that concealing guilt or shame, or something, isn't good for you. That isn't necessarily what I'm feeling, I am only trying to move on as expediently as I can think of ways to do so. Rather than have my inner circle in the know, as I have had before, I have decided to post into the void.
*Not every transaction is detailed, some are recurring with the most noteworthy ones being bolded in chapter form. There are 82 transactions and this is sort of a long story, so I cut some fluff out by excluding a lot of them. *Note, for all the amounts borrowed and offered to pay back eventually, I repeatedly told them not to worry about it and that I didn't consider them my debtors, this is true to the end of the story, and I will not be seeking financial remuneration. After 4 months of working with nothing to show for it I am simply going to just enjoy knowing that I now get to keep the money I make.
The beginning:
It all started with picking up a tall young man walking by the side of the road in QLD (where I live). The man had been walking for hours in broad daylight and was all sweaty, trying to get to the nearest large rural town some 40 minutes away from where I live, which is also where I was going. We do the usual thing and try to make small talk to break the ice, sharing some personal information like if either of us is studying or working our age difference (which isn't that much, me being slightly older). he told me he was walking to see a mate in town about his car, if his friend had repaired it yet. Because he wasn't sure whether it would be fixed, we made an arrangement that I would also pick him up on my way out of town back home.
So, I do, and we do more small talk to the point of having an actual conversation, he also tells me he has a 2-year-old daughter. This is a significant detail because it is what drives a lot of the sympathy I had for his situation. There is also one thing about that conversation that stands out to me, and that was the impression that this guy was not very good with money because he said he frequently wants to buy something and then wants something else so he sells the first thing he bought to pay for the second, sort of like he couldn't help it or something. I couldn't relate. On the way home together I point out where my place was and drove past to drop him off at his. It was at this point or when I dropped him off in town that I gave him my phone number and said to text me if he needed a ride sometime.
Some days later he texts me asking me to lend him $50 for fuel because his place has no power (I would later learn that his property is not hooked up to the electrical grid and his family uses a generator for power). He wanted me to send it to his PayID number, which is something I had never used before. The next day he and his missus want a ride into town and back to check out a bus(?), he also wanted to borrow $100 which he said he would pay back in a couple of weeks. Before I left town, I got a call from a place I had sent my resume in to and they offered to start me on their employment process, to which I agreed. Yay! They stay in town overnight and made it to a pub, he called me later asking for something like $180+ for drinks and asked me to pick them up the next day, thanked me for funding their (apparently very fun) night out and informed me that the bus is very nice and will be getting delivered to their property in a few days (neither of them had the appropriate license to drive the bus, his father did except he did not come with us and I never met the man). He also asks for $200 to pay off a debt to his brother-in-law, would also pay that back to me as $300 in two weeks.
The next day, near dusk, he asks me for a lift into town to do some grocery shopping at a servo. I show up at his place and his mother wants to tag along, and she has an empty jerry can for fuel to use in the generator. So away we went, for a 90+ minute drive for the third day in a row, except near dark this time. I was beginning to get a little tired of the lack of forward thinking (why didn't you go shopping before I had to pick you up from town yesterday?), but there is so much more to come... I also gave him another $300 that night for some reason and $50 the next day to renew his Spotify subscription.
Two days later he asks me how much I'm actually willing to lend him, I said $500 but pleaded that he has to make it last a while, he agreed. He also informed me that he would now have to pay for the transportation of the bus to the property, and two days later told me that he was $300 short ($800) total to bring it 80kms. That's borrowing nearly $1,000 in two days, he also said this would be the last time he'd borrow.
It's at this point that he asks me what total he owes me, I was getting back to work at the time and told him to check his bank transactions, but I definitely took this as a sign of goodwill that he was keeping track to reimburse me even though I was telling him that he owes me nothing.
The worker's compensation claim:
A couple of days later he asks me for $170 to take his missus out for the night, winds up at the Gold Coast needing $500 for accommodation because he "didn't think things through". Good news is that his missus' car is now registered so I won't have to give them rides anymore, and more good news is that he's getting worker's comp in two weeks to the tune of $3,000 for his hand getting crushed on his last job (he stated this had left him unable to bend 2 or more fingers), he lastly states this money could pay back the $1,650 he owes me (his calculation). Next day $200 for fuel home, then $500, and he asks me to deny him any further transfer. He sends me a picture of the bus, a 1979 Albion Viking. I couldn't find the picture he sent me on Google, so I guess there really was a bus and I really did pay for the pricey transportation of a 55-year-old vehicle that had depreciated to nothing. He said he would send pics when he cleans up the inside, but they never came.
The very next day, he claims my very final $500 transfer did not go through (this may have actually been the case because I transferred the money between accounts for a faster transfer and then to him in less than a minute, so I suppose I just did it too fast or he was lying, but it was definitely gone from the account), to which I said give it a few days. Every day for the next 3 days he would tell me it still hasn't come through.
The nephew:
On day 4 of the final transfer, he stopped telling me it hadn't come through, however he stated that his missus had a nephew (14-15) who was going through some things and was about to be kicked out of his home, needed $200 for fuel to pick him up and bring him back to their place. Okay, well if I can prevent a minor (14-15) from being on the streets by lending a little more, so be it. I went over to physically hand him the money for fuel and he informed me in more detail what was going on, and it sounded believable. A couple days later and he's asking $150 for fuel to return the nephew to his parents, and his missus is requesting $200-$300 for accommodation to stay for a few days to resolve the situation. They stay a few more days down there for a total of about $1,410, spent on food, rent, and trying to calm the boy down.
He also got an update regarding his worker's comp, said it'd be payed out within 6 weeks for approximately $10k, then he asked me for a loan of $1,000 with an interest rate of 40% so I'd get $1,400 back. I, at this point, questioned why in the world would he need a loan of $1,000 after all I'd given him, and his response is... "car" - I asked him to elaborate further and he said there was a car he could buy down there for himself at that price. I informed him that money was actually getting very tight for me despite working now. He didn't get the car. I was also thinking that I would only have to go without having money while still working just until he got his worker's comp, my hope was that I could save and be content knowing his family would be looked after for a while.
I eventually called the bank to ask them if that final* $500 transfer had actually gone through on their end and they said it had, but to trace the transaction would incur a fee of $20, now knowing this and not really wanting to pay it I decided I would triple check if, after all these days, he had gotten that final* transaction: "Yeah, just came through today bro"
Considering this disregard for my time and neglecting to keep me updated on things to be just a quirk of my new friend, not wanting to claim he had been lying, I pressed on in good faith that this could just be water under the bridge.
His missus contacts me and says she needs $290 because she found accommodation for her nephew, and that he had forgot to pack anything including food. Another $100. Then fuel back while the nephew stays at this new place for a week. $70. I had concerns with leaving a minor renting alone so far away and his schooling, but they were met with it was "just for a week" until they could find some place to put him closer to them, their new primary caregivers, that apparently could not be at their house. I was, at this time, under the impression that the nephew was living alone, yet it would later be revealed that he was not.
The tyres:
3 days later after setting the nephew up somewhere close enough to his school, the missus went to visit him and got two tyres slashed, $190 to replace. She goes to the tyre place and is told that all of the tyres need to be replaced otherwise it is not legal, so it's actually $390 for all 4 (I was skeptical about this and was on a work break at the time, still have not looked into the validity of the claim). Some more time passes and general purpose transfers take place. I am informed that the nephew has sorted out an Aus Study payment from Centrelink, but that I would need to transfer $200 for the nephew's necessities until it's actually worked out, and I would no longer need to pay his rent. Cool. At this point in time, I was working but not keeping what I made. I paid board at home, but the rest minus my fuel between work and home is what I refer to as the 'x tax' ('x' being a stand-in for the name of the person who scammed me). The requests would mostly happen around the day I got paid, with a believable frequent expense of fuel for the generator being at least $160 a week, not to mention fuel for their car and the infrequent requests from his mother to "pay back her friends"
Sometime later, the missus got another flat tyre from driving over a piece of metal on the highway, $75 to replace and they managed to get towed to the tyre place (I did inform them that they would have a spare tyre in the back of the car, but they claimed it had already been used "the other day when we had another one slashed"). They got another spare but used that as well.
The funeral:
I get a text at work from the man saying that his grandfather was in palliative care with only one or two weeks left, and that his cousin was requesting he and his mother go down to see him, so he asks me if I can help. I decided I should be setting a weekly limit or something so this new friend doesn't drain my bank account each pay day, so I gave him $100 and let him know that it's a hard limit. 4 days later, he tells me that his grandfather had passed 2 days prior, needed $100 to get down to his funeral. I could only give him $85 and told him I would be unable to fund his return trip, to which he agreed would be fine. 2 days later, after the funeral, he tells me that he and his mother need $200+ to get home, get food & drinks on the way back and that the rest of their family would not help them and that they "have no other way back". Getting tired of the lack of forward thinking in this family's affairs, I reluctantly agreed to save them once again.
5 days later I ask him when he gets his worker's comp payout so I can begin to save up money from work knowing he and his family is taken care of for a while, he tells me "next week hopefully". This was in late March. Queue more travelling and fuel costs to now go and cremate the grandfather as his wishes were for him and his mother to be there when it happens. Now, I thought the funeral had already happened and that was the end of it, but it turns out that was just the funeral service, which is something I was not aware was a thing. Due to this misunderstanding, I was very suspicious at this point and exclaimed in a text "You already had the funeral!" while thinking "you can't bury someone twice, is this evidence you are scamming me?".
They also needed accommodation, except I was so suspicious of this man that I requested he find and tell me the name of the hotel they'll be staying at, just so I can verify that is the actual price per head. Also, his mum blew another tyre, but they happened to be right outside a tyre place... again. He claims to not be having very good luck anyway. A request is made for money to take his missus out for her Birthday. I tell him in a lengthy text I had been working for 2 months with nothing to show for it and that I am much more inclined to assist him only with essential spending like fuel or food, and he claimed to understand that, then stated he would use a bit of the money for a small cheap present anyway. The present turned out to be $200 on layby and he needed another $60 to fully acquire it. I was telling him to tone down his spending to emphasis that he needs to live at or below his own means and that he wouldn't need my help if he had just bought a much cheaper present.
It'd been about 9 weeks since he told me it would take 2 weeks for the worker's comp (which was later changed to 6 weeks) to be paid and I was wondering if he had heard back or followed up. He said he did and that they would "get back to him" about it. So, now that hope I had that this was just a temporary situation wasn't holding up so well. Despite all the money I was giving him he had bills "piling up" and one urgent one was for a storage unit where he claimed to have a shipping container's worth of stuff and the owner was threatening to throw it all out if they didn't pay his 6 weeks overdue fee. Apparently, if he had paid just most of the fee he would get to keep his stuff there, which is what happened.
There was a wedding for his brother-in-law and on the way back he asked me if I could help him buy phone data, except the amount he ended up paying wasn't an option for renewal, it was about $5-$10 off from the options available (this just fueled my suspicion even further that something just wasn't right). Thinking that a scammer wouldn't voluntarily give money back, I tested him by asking him for $40 back when I overpaid him and well, that's where it went to, that mobile plan. When they returned home from the wedding they found that their generator had not been fueled like he reminded his parents to do and so they lost all the food they had in the fridge. I questioned why his parents didn't notice the power had gone out and all of a sudden there was a second generator that was for them(?).
Their landlord had apparently stated he would be requiring $200 in rent a week early because he has bills and rates to pay. He informs me that he hasn't got a proper contract to even be on the property and could be kicked out at any moment and that he "needed to keep his landlord happy". I couldn't help him pay that much (nor did I really want to give in to his landlord's outrageous demand) so I sent him a link to QSTARS where he could learn his tenancy rights, except it was Saturday which means he wouldn't be able to call them. Then I suggested that he may be able to get a faster response over the weekend to his situation by making a Reddit account (he asked me what that was) and posting on the shitrentals sub.
A few days later he tells me he has been posting there and learning some things, meanwhile I had been intentionally avoiding the sub so as not to invade his personal privacy, however some days go by and I am suuuuper suspicious by this point I look around for some thread or comment relating to his situation in the timeframe it would have been possible for him to make one. I figured if the situation was so urgent that he would at least try to seek advice over the weekend, but I didn't see any evidence of that, he also never told me if he called the tenant's advisory and I never heard anything about his rental situation again.
6 Days from when he refreshed his mobile data, he had apparently used the 30GB limit. I was astounded at this and knew it was going to continue to be my problem if I didn't find this man a better subscription plan with his provider, so I did, for $10 more he could double his data. Only, I told him that he could have the 6-month plan for more money if he wasn't going to use so much data and because it would have been cheaper for me in the long run too, he agreed. I also thought that if he were really scamming me he would choose the option that makes me transfer more money, which is what happened. I guess that's test #2.
The ending:
Which brings me to today. The nephew was brought back into the story because he had apparently been kicked out of his mates place he was staying at(?) and they needed fuel to go and get him. Kicked out of 2 places? Okay. So I do the transfer and I decided that the only way I could subtly (that is, without compromising friendship or alerting this man that I don't trust him) find out the truth is to visit him face-to-face much further up his property. I wanted to confirm if A: the nephew was real or not B: if there was really a bus and C: if there was a second generator. The best way to do this, I thought, was to just show up and not ask if I could come over because if he was lying about the nephew's existence he would probably say a lot of things to make sure I'd not be able to visit him while the nephew is there. I bring a 6-pack to his gate and realise that he isn't home. Okay. I go home but there's a request in my phone for money for school uniforms and supplies for the nephew to transfer to a local school that I'm intentionally ignoring.
Queue the next day and I get prepared to go again, but I get a text saying that they're out again in town, still waiting for me to transfer money for these school supplies. I had done a bit of research and found that it was either unlikely or impossible for a student to transfer schools within one or two days, or to start in the middle of a term, so I felt pretty confident that this was a situation that didn't need addressing urgently. Also, remember when the nephew sorted something with Centrelink to get Aus Study payments, the one where I no longer had to pay some or all of his rent? Well, that was no longer the case. now he is too young to get them, casually forgotten about maybe? Oh yeah, and he had to start school that day. Anyway, I tell the man that it may be possible to get a uniform from the school's uniform storeroom as that is an option for families with financial difficulty, he says that due to Covid they are out of them and that they tried that already...
Right, so now I ask him how the nephew got kicked out (not important), I just wanted to know if it was planned or sudden, if there was enough time to start the process of transferring from his current school to the local one in town. There wasn't! SO, I called him out, told him what he was saying wasn't possible and that his story sounded like a scheme to get money out of me. I asked him for an easy proof, simply take a picture of yourself with the nephew in the car to prove he's real. He denied trying to scam me and said the nephew and the missus are in the school trying to resolve the situation and that he couldn't take the picture. Instead, he sent me a different picture on Facebook of him and his mates being pulled over for something by the police(?) which he claimed just happened before. I could barely identify anyone in that photo, but it looked like he was the one driving the car(?). I said that I've given him too many passes and the benefit of the doubt, but not this time and that whenever he wants to provide a picture with his nephew, like when he simply comes out of the school(?), to send it my way. Somewhat quickly they got out of the school and the excuse for not taking a picture became "We are driving in the car now"
He says that the picture before is the only one he's got, I said take another when you can, then he goes on about this being the last time he needs fuel money and to do it and then he'll send the picture. I told him no transfer would be happening and I would be blocking his number in a few hours if he doesn't do it (I really do like to give people the benefit of the doubt, it's almost certainly what has led to this going on for so long). He sends me another picture on Facebook except this time it's him upfront (passenger side), his missus behind him, and a child in the backseat.
This photo looked a lot more like what I was asking for, except neither him nor his missus looked the slightest bit worried about losing my charity and the child in the back didn't look 14-15 like the nephew is supposed to be aged. Rejecting this photo for these reasons and stating it was an old photo he had, he kept asking for fuel money just so he would be able to get home and so I told him that if he asks again, I would be blocking his number. I also told him his lack of forward thinking does not constitute an emergency for me and that there are at least 4 adults in his household and surely someone has thought that if they left to go to town, that they would be able to return home. He said that if I didn't provide the fuel money, they would be stuck. I said if his mum (the driver) had to pull over anyway, it would be a good time to take that picture (which I changed to him standing outside the car with his nephew).
He said providing another photo wouldn't do any good as he claims the two he sent were proof enough... the first one really isn't related to the second, it's strange he thought that would constitute the proof I was requesting, really it just raises further questions for me... and that's about when I block his number (after previously blocking him on Facebook).

Hello, I just got a standard v2 crazy kart and had some questions about the battery. I want to get one of the upgraded ones, probably a 36v 14ah. I've only seen people get the 36v 10ah tho, and issues getting 14ah? Benefit is longer battery life no?
Secondly, I've got an ebike and an eskate and in terms of battery talk those tend to be measured in how many miles you can get per charge, but it looks like thencrazy cart is based off ride time? I'm not able to upgrade the motor yet because the one on looking at ok chargedup3d (?) is sold out, so I'll be running the battery with the 36v controller and stock motor. What is the typical ride time for a setup like this? My math points to about an hour 20ish give or take but was wondering if anyone here is running that setup and has real world values
Thanks!

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/aitata8482828(Husband) and u/No_Card9780(Wife)
posting in AmItheAsshole and AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Long
Original - 10th July 2023
Update1 - 11th May 2024
Update2 - 14th May 2024
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AITA being pissed at what my wife said to our niece
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My sister and bil were abusive parents to my niece, Charlotte. I always tried to protect her, but my wife and I were only able to get custody threw years ago. We adopted her, and she's a good kid at heart, but she still struggles a lot. She's still in therapy and has come so far, but finds it difficult to accept unconditional love and that kids don't have to be perfect. While she's usually fine with my wife and I, she still sometimes tends to see our daughter (Chloe) as ungrateful and spoilt. I've worked really hard on this, and it's a LOT better, but sometimes it comes up in their teenage squabbles. It's not perfect but the girls generally get along.
Last Friday they had an issue. I was at work, so this is based on what I was told after. Chloe was refusing to do any of her chores, and arguing about it with my wife. Charlotte jumped in and basically called Chloe lazy and said that she should be a better daughter like her. Apparently my wife got pissed off and told her off. She 'reminded' her that she was 'lucky' we were taking care of her and to stay out of it. From there it got bad.
My wife says that Charlotte was extremely rude about Chloe. But she also admits she told Charlotte that we 'didnt have to' take care of her, and that basically unlike Chloe, we can send her back to her parents if she keeps it up. Ignoring the fact we legally cannot, that's just completely fucked up. They ended their fight with Charlotte just going to my parents for that night, and she's been really upset and withdrawn since.
When I got home my wife filled me in, and I was honestly pretty furious. The first thing that came to mind was 'what the fuck is wrong with you?'. Which admittedly wasn't a productive response but I was honestly just floored. The issue is that Charlotte doesn't get that a kid deserves unconditional love even if they're not perfect, so you fucking tell her that you'll kick her out if she doesn't behave? All the progress I worked with her for is gonna be shut back again.
I was mad and we fought about it. I get she can be difficult, but that was inappropriate. However she's still refused to apologise or anything. I've tried to talk to her and explain that we love her, and that it wasn't meant the way it was said. But my wife is just accusing me of babying and favouring Charlotte. Apparently I'm being unreasonable thinking what she did was disgusting. That I should care more about Chloe, as if this is a competition.
I am still honestly pretty pissed at her. While she just claims I'm unreasonable and being a shit dad to Chloe.
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Comments
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Ok-Arachnid-890
NTA your wife said a fucked up thing and really messed up with Charlotte. Your wife needs to apologize and looks like you're gonna have to have individual long talks with everyone

Husband OOP: That's exactly what I think. I honestly don't know how she could say it, let alone keep defending it. I've been trying to talk to the girls about it, but Charlotte is still icing me out other than apologising repeatedly.

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[deleted]
I hate to have to tell you this, but I think your wife could say a thing like that because that's how she actually feels about Charlotte, a charity case who should be grateful for scraps. That reaction wasn't a woman mediating a fight between her two daughters, this was her defending her child against this hostile kid she took in. If she spoke in the heat of the moment, she would have been horrified afterwards, not doubling down. It's possible she never wanted Charlotte.
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poeadam
NTA
You are correct here. It doesn't sound like you are favoring Charlotte at all. You aren't condoning or excusing her behavior. You issue is with how your wife dealt with the behavior, which I agree was completely inappropriate.
Your wife (and you) ADOPTED the child. She is your child. She can't be given back. And threatening to return her to an abusive situation is basically abuse in and of itself. Your wife should never suggest such a thing and should be ashamed that those words came out of her mouth.

Husband OOP: I agree, thank you. There's no world where I would ever give her back. I love her way too much to ever do that. I honestly don't know why she doesn't see it like you said

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Accomplished_Two1611
Your wife is only going through the motions with Charlotte. I am sure she and Chloe have made sure that Charlotte knows her 'place'.

Husband OOP:As far as I know this is the first time it's come up like this. Charlotte definitely would have reacted obviously in the past.
Chloe and her do get along mostly. I definitely don't think Chloe is a problem, beyond being a typical teenager

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l3ex_G
Other comments from op apparently shows that he threatened to divorce her if she didn’t adopt charlotte with him.
B3Gay_DoCr1mes
Oh, and there it is. OP's wife is a bubbling cauldron of resentments and it finally came out in the open. So, all theories that she does in fact view this as her daughter versus the charity case they took in are 100% accurate. They took Charlotte out of a blatantly toxic environment and brought her into one with simmering toxicity beneath the surface. With that kind of ultimatum underlying Charlotte's adoption a moment like this was inevitable.
l3ex_G
It feels like OP wants to be the saviour but not do the work. The fact he brought this child into a situation that started with an ultimatum is upsetting. Charlotte doesn’t stand a chance if these are the adults in the situation.
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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Editor's Note - In the wife's post Charlotte becomes Kelly and Chloe becomes Sarah. There is now also a son. There is some age differences as well.
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AITAH for waking out on my “adoptive daughter” and telling her everything is her fault - 10 months later
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So I (36f) have two kids a boy Tom (5) and a Sarah daughter (18) plus my husbands late brothers kid (16f) Kelly who lives with us
14 months ago my husband came home with Kelly and said she would be staying with us for a while, I barely knew kelly because since her father passed away 10 years ago her mom has been struggling with mental health and addiction. Apparently Kelly was in a bad situation at home due to her mother’s new boyfriend being a let’s say not so nice person.
He told me it was only for 3 months while his parents who recently moved aboard got settled than it went to 5 till his sister had her baby just excuse after excuse till I stopped asking. as time went on my husband just acted like she was our daughter even bringing up adoption a few times which I refused even when he threatened divorce. I know I sound like a monster but you have to realise Kelly isn’t easy to deal with and my husband doesn’t allow her to face any kind of consequences
Kelly acts like she is the golden child and my daughter is the black sheep, she has violent meltdowns, she’s threatened our son that my husband will leave us if she tells him because he loves her more which traumatised Tom. she has tried and failed her mind games with me pretending to be a saint, her main target is my daughter she is extremely cruel towards her verbally like she’ll slut shame her for everything little thing like wearing make up or tell her she’s lazy/good for nothing for stupid reasons like sleeping late at the weekends
She’ll take her things ether will loss them or destroy them than cry to my husband who will excuse her behaviour even tho he spends 70% of his time at work. We are all in therapy which isn’t working like group sessions when someone points out Kelly’s behaviour or adoption usually end up with everyone fighting
It all came to a head last month Kelly was in a mood all week because Sarah had a big 18th party with all the attention on Sarah especially from my family which Kelly said mentioned in therapy. myself and Sarah were having a stupid “fight” over a non issue because Sarah used all my shampoo which she didn’t replace or let me know I was out of. Kelly came out of nowhere screaming at Sarah calling her a moocher, lazy, trash and spoiled she than said Sarah was an adult now and she didn’t pull her weight she’d get kicked out
I lost it I told her Sarah was my daughter and If she didn’t change her attitude she’d be the one kicked out, Kelly didn’t say anything just went into her room about an hour later my husband came back than started screaming literally i my face calling me names telling me he wants a divorce so he can protect Kelly. so I said ok I want a divorce and 50/50 custody I get my son he gets his niece now get the fuck out of my house with his niece
They left and have been staying with his brother since, husband now has to deal with Kelly all the time he wants more therapy to fix our issues so we can get back together and be a family again. They both came over yesterday to collect the last of their stuff and Kelly asked me was it her fault I said yes it was just as much her fault as her uncles (husband)
Husband told me I’m being a monster and Kelly is my daughter whether I admit it or not and I’ve abandoned her when she finally had a stable home that she doesn’t mean to lash out due it’s just due to her trauma and if we work together we can help her work through it
Honestly now I don’t know what to do and feel like an asshole
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Comments
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teresajs
NTA Your husband only wants back with you to dump Kelly on you again. She's a troubled teen and needs some serious help. Your husband is more interested in feeling like he's helping Kelly (not actually doing the real work involved) than in protecting his own kids.
Hire a good Divorce Attorney. Ask about getting child support for your son and possibly to help your daughter with higher education costs, if that's possible. Also, ask about getting a court order that your husband can't have Kelly around your son, given her past threats against him.

OOP Wife: I will be pushing for supervised visits with Tom as of now he had only had him with me or his sister in law present

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teresajs
But specify that these are to be supervised visits without Kelly present. Your husband seems to have blinders on and can't be trusted to make good decisions without a specific court order.

OOP Wife: In my country supervised visits happen in a centre with a social worker and security present I can call multiple witnesses to make sure she won’t be allowed in

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knittedjedi

In my country supervised visits happen in a centre with a social worker and security present I can call multiple witnesses to make sure she won’t be allowed in

I'm glad you live somewhere where they take child safety seriously.
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Update - 3 days later
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So yes the divorce is going forward even tho my husband has begged me to stay because he can’t handle the consequences of his actions and yes he is aitata8482828 he did change a few details and yes this isn’t our first follow out with me blowing up kelly isn’t my daughter and I wanted her out due to THEIR mistreated of Sarah we nearly got divorced last year but he used therapy and my emotional abuse as a tool to manipulate me to stay
Sarah hasn’t spoken much to her father since the first fall out because as people mentioned even on his post leaving a lot out about Kelly and just putting down Sarah it was clear who he only cares about. Sarah said she wants nothing to do with him and has warned family to but out. I’m sick of his emotional and mental abuse towards us for his niece and his threats of divorce to get his way so I hope he makes this easy on everyone
Yes Kelly has had a bad childhood and has suffered but she isn’t my problem anymore I want zero contact with her and will make sure she won’t have contact with my son. I’ve plenty of evidence and witnesses to make it happen I can sound cruel but she can fuck right off she isn’t my kid so I don’t owe her a relationship and regardless of how bad her trauma is she has no right to traumatise others. She could of had a life in America with her grandparents but she refused to learn English
As for my husband being her real dad that’s irrelevant to me because I won’t get the truth and would only cause more issues for my kids who’ve been through enough
Thanks to everyone for the advice I won’t be logging in after tonight and as I’ve said in the comments English isn’t my first language
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Comments
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dessertchef11
Your ex husband can now deal with Kelly and all her trauma. Good for Sarah for cutting off her father, he clearly sucks at being one for his kids.
Tabernerus
So did you legally adopt her or not? That’s a critical detail.

OOP Wife: No he claimed we did I didn’t want to adopt even when he tried to force me

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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Hello darlings! Another Wednesday has rolled around, so the weekly prompt is upon us once more! Thank you all for your lovely contributions last week, they were a delight to read! <3
This week’s prompt is brought to you by the wonderful u/MorboKat!
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Short version: Harpies’ enchanting song
Suggested prompt length: up to ~300 words.
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Long version: When someone fails their Wisdom save against the harpies, they don't just hear singing. They see and hear what they want most in the world, just out of reach. What does Astarion experience when he fails his save? How does he react when he is brought back to reality? What is he feeling? Do his companions notice, or are they similarly distraught?
Five words to use: Song, water, fail, ethereal, yearning
Suggested prompt length: between 500-1000 words
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Note: Please include a few brief tags at the beginning of your story to give readers an idea of what to expect, especially if it’s spicy. For example: Long prompt, F/M or solo, rated M, no CW, praise only please or feedback welcome
CW = Content warning. For things like sexual abuse, menstrual blood, etc.

Hi everyone,
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My grandma is going into a nursing home in a few weeks and has to rehome her incredibly obese dog. She has been over feeding this dog for the entire time she has had her. We tried to get her to give her a healthy diet but she will not.
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Anyways, this dog is obese, never goes outside, and is incredibly hyper active. I feel so bad for the poor thing, but no one in my life is going to be able to properly care for her and get her down to a healthy weight/train her.
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We want to find her a home and we suspect she's a kind of Border Collie mix, but we have no idea what to do with her. She's going to require extreme patience and dedication so we don't want to just put her in the pound or give her away to just anyone. She's like grossly obese so I don't think she should go to some random first time dog owner.
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I don't even know where to start with looking for a home. We live in Connecticut but if anyone knows any good rescues in any surrounding states I'd bring her there as well.
She's a really good girl which is why this is so hard for me. The dog is incredibly smart and when my grandma was hospitalized in the past we got her down about 5lbs in two weeks with diet and exercise. She also very quickly learned how to go to the bathroom outside (with some accidents). Then when we brought her back with clear instructions my grandma followed what we said for a few weeks then reverted. I felt horrible.
Thank you for any advice