Sample letter for money for college
College
2008.01.25 07:54 College
The subreddit for discussion related to college and collegiate life.
2011.12.22 17:49 gregorynice The ultimate subreddit for US high school and college students to post and find US scholarships
Looking for scholarships? This subreddit lists opportunities for **U.S. students** who are seeking free money for college. Come back often, as we frequently add new scholarships to our growing list of available awards.
2009.09.22 12:45 Cheap Meals
A community made to discuss a cheaper way to make (or buy) your meals at home. Rules: 1. No Spam. 2. Nothing NSFW. 3. Posts must include a recipe, not just a link to personal blog. 4. Simple food preference discussions ARE allowed, just keep in mind there is a specific theme to the Subreddit. 5. Don’t be racist, sexist, ableist, transphobic, uncivil, etc.
2024.05.14 06:09 DokiDokiRage In a rut. Hate my life
I've been having a rough time for a while now. Recently my mom and I were evicted after a 2 year long battle against our landlord. We've lived in that apartment for 7 years, and we packed it all away in a couple days.
Eight months ago I broke up with my partner of three years. The break up was messy. I was very manic during that time bc of my medication and weed usage. It ended in us saying terrible things to each other. We met up a month ago and a week after that. He said he had had a good time and how he'd see me soon.
Other than that, nothing has been going on in my life. My mom and I have a complicated relationship. We've reached an understanding in recent years but she was a very busy unavailable parent. I was abused a lot by her and other family members.
My sibling and I (she's one year older than me,) share a similar relationship with one another. She was a terrible sibling and abused me a lot too.
My mom and I are at an extended stay hotel. I have no money. All I do is lay down all day. I've lost many of my passions and interest. I used to be an artist with hopes of becoming a video game designer. Ever since the break up and the months leading up to it, life has been surreal.
I just don't know who I am.
My mom talks down to me and often takes a pratical approch to dealing with my problems. It makes me feel small. When I forget things she wants me to do she attacks my age, my lack of responsiblitiy, how much she works. I just want my old life back with my ex.
When we saw eachother after all that time apart, I felt so strange. It felt like I had a reason to get up and leave the house.
I don't have that in any other aspect of my life.
I feel to guilty about my mom paying for everything. She even gives me spending money depsite us not being finacially in the best place.
When I don't take care of myself she gets really upset, its always been that way. She never sees it though. She thinks shes being reasonable despite shouting, shaking, getting in a threating range. She just wants to help me in a way that'll work. It doesn't though.
I feel like a bum and I'm very lonely. I don't know what to do.
My mom and I got into an argument an hour ago outside the hotel. She started berating me about my age, how I did nothing she asked of me for the day (I did all but one), how she works and goes to college and..., I just checked out. I'm never confrontational, yet historically thats when my family usually gets the most upset/ starts hitting.
She thinks everything is disrespect. Theres no winning.
I have a job lined up. They're a new bakery that was hiring. They told me I'd start a month ago but the open date keeps getting pushed back.
Everyday I feel pointless, and theres my mom reminding me.
I wish I had some friends.
submitted by DokiDokiRage to LifeAdvice [link] [comments]
Eight months ago I broke up with my partner of three years. The break up was messy. I was very manic during that time bc of my medication and weed usage. It ended in us saying terrible things to each other. We met up a month ago and a week after that. He said he had had a good time and how he'd see me soon.
Other than that, nothing has been going on in my life. My mom and I have a complicated relationship. We've reached an understanding in recent years but she was a very busy unavailable parent. I was abused a lot by her and other family members.
My sibling and I (she's one year older than me,) share a similar relationship with one another. She was a terrible sibling and abused me a lot too.
My mom and I are at an extended stay hotel. I have no money. All I do is lay down all day. I've lost many of my passions and interest. I used to be an artist with hopes of becoming a video game designer. Ever since the break up and the months leading up to it, life has been surreal.
I just don't know who I am.
My mom talks down to me and often takes a pratical approch to dealing with my problems. It makes me feel small. When I forget things she wants me to do she attacks my age, my lack of responsiblitiy, how much she works. I just want my old life back with my ex.
When we saw eachother after all that time apart, I felt so strange. It felt like I had a reason to get up and leave the house.
I don't have that in any other aspect of my life.
I feel to guilty about my mom paying for everything. She even gives me spending money depsite us not being finacially in the best place.
When I don't take care of myself she gets really upset, its always been that way. She never sees it though. She thinks shes being reasonable despite shouting, shaking, getting in a threating range. She just wants to help me in a way that'll work. It doesn't though.
I feel like a bum and I'm very lonely. I don't know what to do.
My mom and I got into an argument an hour ago outside the hotel. She started berating me about my age, how I did nothing she asked of me for the day (I did all but one), how she works and goes to college and..., I just checked out. I'm never confrontational, yet historically thats when my family usually gets the most upset/ starts hitting.
She thinks everything is disrespect. Theres no winning.
I have a job lined up. They're a new bakery that was hiring. They told me I'd start a month ago but the open date keeps getting pushed back.
Everyday I feel pointless, and theres my mom reminding me.
I wish I had some friends.
2024.05.14 06:07 Such_Masterpiece4085 Back to the beginning
Hello, I 27 (f) sociology grad have been unemployed since December. I quit my last job due to maltreatment and a hopeful sense of finding a job by now since I thought I have an advantage because of my degree. I’ve had interviews, landed jobs (part time minimum wage) tried working at as a sketchy furniture salesperson, got psyched out at a metal health job and called back saying it’s not for me… idk I’m just hoping something soon will stick. I’m starting to get a sense of what’s right for me and what’s wrong but no good jobs actually pop up. It’s all shit. I have a pretty laid back personality, I think I would be in the beauty industry if my parents didn’t tell me I wouldn’t make any money doing that and I need to go to college. Ugh.
submitted by Such_Masterpiece4085 to jobs [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 06:06 atskee My birthday is in 10 days and for the first time I'm not excited. I'm unhappy with my hectic life.
I turn 23 on May 23rd. People call this phenomenon your golden birthday, yet I feel so conflicted as I reflect my pass and overthink about the future. Ever since I was a kid, I loved celebrating my birthday, but now I'm afraid. The road up ahead seems uncertain and I'm too scared to navigate it. My life is pretty hectic, and to avoid stress eating, I just want this off my chest and forget about it all for a while.
I was involved in a work accident where a kid attacked me a little bit over a year ago. The company's health insurance has stretched out the process for as long as they can, and it's tiring. I'm supposed to get surgery to fix my injury soon, and I honestly wanted it over with before my birthday, sadly that's not the case. I live off of my $900 monthly disability check, almost all of it goes to groceries.
Whilst living paycheck to paycheck, my dad is terminally ill. It's something that's been eating me inside knowing that no medicine nor any amounts of chicken soup will help my dad stay a while longer. He keeps apologizing to me, because he's terrified that I'll be the one to find him when he's gone. It's really taking a toll on me to the point I can't look at old photos of him without crying. I really wish I could do something for him.
My boyfriend is kind, but he's severely depressed. If I don't help him with chores, he'll let everything pile up, I can't keep taking care of both him and my dad at the same time. I feel like I'm running thin. I don't really have any friends, not even online ones. I never went to college, so I only keep in contact with old highschool friends. I really wish I had someone to call a best friend, but I guess it's not in the books right now.
For my birthday, I really wanted to go to a KBBQ/Hotpot restaurant, I've been talking about it non stop since January, but as my family and I struggle to afford groceries/rent, I don't think I'll be able to enjoy my birthday dinner knowing this will come with financial consequences. With no money I wont be able to afford groceries, or my dad's medicine. I can't buy myself a gift, can't go shopping, and I'll probably won't end up buying a cake this year either.
It's just really depressing that this is my life. No friends, no reliable boyfriend, sick dad, workaholic brother, disabled me. The only thing that keeps me going is making sure my dad smiles everyday. I'm really exhausted of it all.
Thank you if you read my rant :) hopefully the future is bright.
submitted by atskee to offmychest [link] [comments]
I was involved in a work accident where a kid attacked me a little bit over a year ago. The company's health insurance has stretched out the process for as long as they can, and it's tiring. I'm supposed to get surgery to fix my injury soon, and I honestly wanted it over with before my birthday, sadly that's not the case. I live off of my $900 monthly disability check, almost all of it goes to groceries.
Whilst living paycheck to paycheck, my dad is terminally ill. It's something that's been eating me inside knowing that no medicine nor any amounts of chicken soup will help my dad stay a while longer. He keeps apologizing to me, because he's terrified that I'll be the one to find him when he's gone. It's really taking a toll on me to the point I can't look at old photos of him without crying. I really wish I could do something for him.
My boyfriend is kind, but he's severely depressed. If I don't help him with chores, he'll let everything pile up, I can't keep taking care of both him and my dad at the same time. I feel like I'm running thin. I don't really have any friends, not even online ones. I never went to college, so I only keep in contact with old highschool friends. I really wish I had someone to call a best friend, but I guess it's not in the books right now.
For my birthday, I really wanted to go to a KBBQ/Hotpot restaurant, I've been talking about it non stop since January, but as my family and I struggle to afford groceries/rent, I don't think I'll be able to enjoy my birthday dinner knowing this will come with financial consequences. With no money I wont be able to afford groceries, or my dad's medicine. I can't buy myself a gift, can't go shopping, and I'll probably won't end up buying a cake this year either.
It's just really depressing that this is my life. No friends, no reliable boyfriend, sick dad, workaholic brother, disabled me. The only thing that keeps me going is making sure my dad smiles everyday. I'm really exhausted of it all.
Thank you if you read my rant :) hopefully the future is bright.
2024.05.14 06:05 delyteful Locked in to GEICO’s DriveEasy program
I just wanted to share an experience I felt was strange. I’ve been insured with GEICO for 2 years now and enrolled in their DriveEasy program to save money on my policy while in college. I just graduated and have been watching my DriveEasy score drop from good to average over the years and not fully understanding why (I’m a pretty sane and chill driver, and tried to follow the tips suggested to no avail). So I started looking into how this could impact my GEICO policy, and after reading unfavorable experiences, I thought I’d rather unenroll from their program now and lose my discount.
After chatting with an agent who said my policy would be updated within 10-15 minutes, I received this message! I just think it’s completely wild that I’m locked in to providing them with all my driving data. I guess it’s time to shop around. I wish I never enrolled in the DriveEasy program in the first place.
“Thank you for contacting GEICO.
We received your request to unenroll in the DriveEasy program. I sincerely apologize, upon review the participation in the DriveEasy program is required as a condition of your policy. We would be unfortunately unable to offer you a policy that did not require the DriveEasy program. If you would like to cancel the current policy simply reply to this email with the date you would like the coverage to end and we would be happy to close out the policy on your behalf.
I am sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.”
submitted by delyteful to Insurance [link] [comments]
After chatting with an agent who said my policy would be updated within 10-15 minutes, I received this message! I just think it’s completely wild that I’m locked in to providing them with all my driving data. I guess it’s time to shop around. I wish I never enrolled in the DriveEasy program in the first place.
“Thank you for contacting GEICO.
We received your request to unenroll in the DriveEasy program. I sincerely apologize, upon review the participation in the DriveEasy program is required as a condition of your policy. We would be unfortunately unable to offer you a policy that did not require the DriveEasy program. If you would like to cancel the current policy simply reply to this email with the date you would like the coverage to end and we would be happy to close out the policy on your behalf.
I am sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.”
2024.05.14 06:00 Direct-Caterpillar77 I have 2 weeks to get away from my husband
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Complex-Wing7114
I have 2 weeks to get away from my husband
Originally posted to offmychest
Thabks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: controlling behavior, threats, abusive behavior, stalking
Original Post Apr 27, 2024
Throwaway account as my husband and In-laws are follow my main. I, 29 F, have been married to my husband, 30 m, who I'll call Alex. Alex and I met in college during our freshman year. We started off as just friends, and got married seven months ago. I've gotten along with his family, but we aren't super close but we're friendly enough. The problem is that Alex has begun to make me incredibly uncomfortable.
Firstly, he's begun to ask me who I'm meeting with, where, what we plan on doing, how long every single time I leave the house without him. At first, I just thought he was being protective and a good partner just in case something happened, but then he started checking my phone after the visits, vetting and researching each of my friends as well.
He also has been pursuing me to link my bank account to his, as he's "in charge" of the finances when he was perfectly fine with keeping them separate before. We fight about it almost every day.
Finally, yesterday when he was preparing to go on a work trip for two weeks in California, he demanded I wear a tracker so he could keep and eye on me while he's gone. I can't do this anymore, I feel like I'm suffocating and his family who I've spoken to about his worrying behavior just said he's being careful and protective as a good husband should. I need to gather my things together and find a way to be gone before he gets home without tipping him off.
He's always threatened that if he ever found me cheating on him he'd turn in divorce papers the same day. He keeps a filled out copy in his desk. I'm going to submit those the day I leave. But there's so much to do, bergen finding a new place to live, seeing if my job has any transfers available, packing and moving in two weeks. His return flight May 11th, so I need to move quickly. I'm posting here because I don't have any close family, and I can't risk dragging my friends into this as we share the same friends.I just needed a place to vent, and ask if anyone has any advice on the easiest and safest way to do this?
Edit: oh my god you guys are amazing! I never even thought to not use his divorce papers. I'll check for cameras before I start any packing or prepping. I may also shred his divorce papers just in case and look into getting a lawyer for myself. I'm in a no fault divorce state, that much I so remember which will help. I'll update again when I know more. The tracker he wants me to use is a small clip to put on the belt or waistband. I'll wear it unless I'm going or doing something related to me leaving. No pets yet thankfully.
Update Apr 28, 2024
So I've gotten a lot of support and helpful advice along with questions I thought I should clarify before I proceed with the update. Some asked why I'd be 'hiding' things from Alex regarding going out and who I'm meeting with. I don't, and I have nothing to hide. However when he begins to then double check everything I tell him with the other people there right down to each person I talked to and what I said. Did I send any text msgs, did I order food, how much did I eat, that's when it started to feel like I was slowly being pushed into a corner. It didn't start that bad, but gradually grew worse overtime.
All of the Reddit subs my in-law's families are part of are related gardening and diy so I highly doubt they'll see this, if so by the time they do, I'll hopefully be gone. I talked to my job and explained things to my manager. And they promised to look into openings in other states to see if they could get me into one. They'll have an update on that in three days. I trust that my bank account us secured, considering he's tried to get into it before and failed. I found one camera in the kitchen, another in the living room and one in our bedroom. As such, I've left them in place for now and done all other planning, either in the bathroom pretending I'm taking a bath.
I'm honestly staying away from the domestic violence services as my sister-in-law is unfortunately higher up in those considering she volunteers there and I have a feeling if I did show up there, they would know in a heartbeat. I can't look for apartments until I get the update from my work, but either or i'm still gonna be leaving the state. The day before I do I will be changing my number carrier and wiping my laptop and all of his electronics before I do.
I've met with 2 lawyers so far and had them look over the paperwork. My husband had prepared and both said that it did it have some clauses in it. That could have caused me some trouble down the line. What alarmed all of us close the fact that several of those clauses dealt with future children, and not as a hypothetical. Like several hair suggested I have a feeling he fully intended on getting me pregnant to keep me trapped and tied to him.
There are 3 other locations. My job could send me to and I have. As a precaution Begun looking into all 3 cities and housing in the areas. Just in case one of those, this is the one they send me to. Even if they don't have an opening that they can push me into then I will just have to quit, move and figure things out on my own. I have enough money to live and survive for a few months until I can pick up another job.
Unfortunately all of our friends are mutuals and would likely be unaware of the consequences of saying or sharing anything I do or say with my husband. I don't have any surviving close family and obviously my in laws are not a good resource to rely on. I am on my own unfortunately, other than the wonderful bonds, i've begun to make here. I will update again if I get more information or something else happens. Otherwise all update when my work gets back to me. I do plan on leaving before he returns, though. Just to make sure that i'm not anywhere near here at that time.
Update 2 Apr 30, 2024
Good news! My work has an opening I qualify for that will not only shift me across the country, but also comes with a salary increase as well. I've started telling my in laws and friends that I'm planning a surprise outing for when my husband gets back for just the two of us. This way, people don't give me odd looks if they see me out and about. I've even gone as far as asking MIL to show me his favorite recipes.
Meanwhile, I've found a moving company that while small is willing to work in a storm. The reason is in five days, we're supposed to get hit with a large storm front. I plan to shut off the breaker and say we lost power if he asks just as several people here suggested and even send him a short clip of the storm.
I will have all of my stuff moved that afternoon, and I will be flying out once the weather has cleared enough to do so. I have a lawyer who will push my divorce through, and I've filled out the necessary paperwork so that I don't have to be here for it. I'm not suing for assets or alimony and I've shredded his divorce papers as well. I've set up a cheap payphone plan through cricket until this is all said and done at which point I will find a new carrier, number and phone. This one is being wiped and left behind.
My laptop is provided by my work, and the IT department inspected it thoroughly and it was clean thankfully. No other electronic aside from my laptop and new phone will be coming with me. If alex needs to talk to me, he can do it through my lawyer. Not sure if anything else will happen, my fingers are crossed that he doesn't think anythings amiss until after I leave - and I'm not turning the breaker back on when I do. He can when he gets home. My work is covering the plane ticket, so that at least is one expense I don't have to finagle in.
Update 3 May 7, 2024
Update 3: I have 2 weeks to get away from my husband.
It's been a busy week, but I've gotten so much done. Firstly, I am now out of the house and am currently in a hotel while I look for an apartment. It's a big city, bustling with people no matter where you look. We had a pretty bad storm system hit back home, that actually lasted two days. High winds, thunder, lightning and even hail everywhere. I didn't take much from the house, my documents, clothes and important sentimental items. I left all of the furniture and electronics behind. I cleaned the house top to bottom and took pictures on my phone so he couldn't claim I damaged anything when I left.
My lawyer has already started divorce proceedings, and my husband will be served on the 8th. His plane is due to land early morning, and the sheriff will be there at the house waiting for him. He is very much about public appearances and reputation. My lawyer will be calling him as well to inform him that I am more than willing to air out everything to the public about his actions if it means securing my freedom from him. I will go to court as long as I must to get this pushed through.
I haven't told our friends or his in-laws yet, I will do that while he is on the flight to prevent him from getting wind of it before he's handed the divorce papers. I will be calling around and explaining why we're getting divorced, to try and prevent him from twisting this into somehow being my fault. I don't want him trying to claim I had an affair or something so I want to get the truth out before he can twist this.
I'm... doing okay. I'm tired, but yet I feel almost jittery and off-kilter. I keep looking over my shoulder and monitoring what I say even when I don't really need to anymore. Hopefully that will fade soon. My work is covering the cost of the hotel, and I'm working on getting my other things in order. I also need to find a new GP as I want to get a full test just to make sure everything is okay. I don't know when my next update will be, probably when the divorce papers are filed or if we have to go to court to push them through. I will try to keep my head up, but it feels like I'm in a whirlwind or something with so many things to do and think about. I kinda thought it would be easier once I got out of the house but while the fear is smaller, somehow the number of tasks only seems to have grown.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
submitted by Direct-Caterpillar77 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
I have 2 weeks to get away from my husband
Originally posted to offmychest
Thabks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: controlling behavior, threats, abusive behavior, stalking
Original Post Apr 27, 2024
Throwaway account as my husband and In-laws are follow my main. I, 29 F, have been married to my husband, 30 m, who I'll call Alex. Alex and I met in college during our freshman year. We started off as just friends, and got married seven months ago. I've gotten along with his family, but we aren't super close but we're friendly enough. The problem is that Alex has begun to make me incredibly uncomfortable.
Firstly, he's begun to ask me who I'm meeting with, where, what we plan on doing, how long every single time I leave the house without him. At first, I just thought he was being protective and a good partner just in case something happened, but then he started checking my phone after the visits, vetting and researching each of my friends as well.
He also has been pursuing me to link my bank account to his, as he's "in charge" of the finances when he was perfectly fine with keeping them separate before. We fight about it almost every day.
Finally, yesterday when he was preparing to go on a work trip for two weeks in California, he demanded I wear a tracker so he could keep and eye on me while he's gone. I can't do this anymore, I feel like I'm suffocating and his family who I've spoken to about his worrying behavior just said he's being careful and protective as a good husband should. I need to gather my things together and find a way to be gone before he gets home without tipping him off.
He's always threatened that if he ever found me cheating on him he'd turn in divorce papers the same day. He keeps a filled out copy in his desk. I'm going to submit those the day I leave. But there's so much to do, bergen finding a new place to live, seeing if my job has any transfers available, packing and moving in two weeks. His return flight May 11th, so I need to move quickly. I'm posting here because I don't have any close family, and I can't risk dragging my friends into this as we share the same friends.I just needed a place to vent, and ask if anyone has any advice on the easiest and safest way to do this?
Edit: oh my god you guys are amazing! I never even thought to not use his divorce papers. I'll check for cameras before I start any packing or prepping. I may also shred his divorce papers just in case and look into getting a lawyer for myself. I'm in a no fault divorce state, that much I so remember which will help. I'll update again when I know more. The tracker he wants me to use is a small clip to put on the belt or waistband. I'll wear it unless I'm going or doing something related to me leaving. No pets yet thankfully.
Update Apr 28, 2024
So I've gotten a lot of support and helpful advice along with questions I thought I should clarify before I proceed with the update. Some asked why I'd be 'hiding' things from Alex regarding going out and who I'm meeting with. I don't, and I have nothing to hide. However when he begins to then double check everything I tell him with the other people there right down to each person I talked to and what I said. Did I send any text msgs, did I order food, how much did I eat, that's when it started to feel like I was slowly being pushed into a corner. It didn't start that bad, but gradually grew worse overtime.
All of the Reddit subs my in-law's families are part of are related gardening and diy so I highly doubt they'll see this, if so by the time they do, I'll hopefully be gone. I talked to my job and explained things to my manager. And they promised to look into openings in other states to see if they could get me into one. They'll have an update on that in three days. I trust that my bank account us secured, considering he's tried to get into it before and failed. I found one camera in the kitchen, another in the living room and one in our bedroom. As such, I've left them in place for now and done all other planning, either in the bathroom pretending I'm taking a bath.
I'm honestly staying away from the domestic violence services as my sister-in-law is unfortunately higher up in those considering she volunteers there and I have a feeling if I did show up there, they would know in a heartbeat. I can't look for apartments until I get the update from my work, but either or i'm still gonna be leaving the state. The day before I do I will be changing my number carrier and wiping my laptop and all of his electronics before I do.
I've met with 2 lawyers so far and had them look over the paperwork. My husband had prepared and both said that it did it have some clauses in it. That could have caused me some trouble down the line. What alarmed all of us close the fact that several of those clauses dealt with future children, and not as a hypothetical. Like several hair suggested I have a feeling he fully intended on getting me pregnant to keep me trapped and tied to him.
There are 3 other locations. My job could send me to and I have. As a precaution Begun looking into all 3 cities and housing in the areas. Just in case one of those, this is the one they send me to. Even if they don't have an opening that they can push me into then I will just have to quit, move and figure things out on my own. I have enough money to live and survive for a few months until I can pick up another job.
Unfortunately all of our friends are mutuals and would likely be unaware of the consequences of saying or sharing anything I do or say with my husband. I don't have any surviving close family and obviously my in laws are not a good resource to rely on. I am on my own unfortunately, other than the wonderful bonds, i've begun to make here. I will update again if I get more information or something else happens. Otherwise all update when my work gets back to me. I do plan on leaving before he returns, though. Just to make sure that i'm not anywhere near here at that time.
Update 2 Apr 30, 2024
Good news! My work has an opening I qualify for that will not only shift me across the country, but also comes with a salary increase as well. I've started telling my in laws and friends that I'm planning a surprise outing for when my husband gets back for just the two of us. This way, people don't give me odd looks if they see me out and about. I've even gone as far as asking MIL to show me his favorite recipes.
Meanwhile, I've found a moving company that while small is willing to work in a storm. The reason is in five days, we're supposed to get hit with a large storm front. I plan to shut off the breaker and say we lost power if he asks just as several people here suggested and even send him a short clip of the storm.
I will have all of my stuff moved that afternoon, and I will be flying out once the weather has cleared enough to do so. I have a lawyer who will push my divorce through, and I've filled out the necessary paperwork so that I don't have to be here for it. I'm not suing for assets or alimony and I've shredded his divorce papers as well. I've set up a cheap payphone plan through cricket until this is all said and done at which point I will find a new carrier, number and phone. This one is being wiped and left behind.
My laptop is provided by my work, and the IT department inspected it thoroughly and it was clean thankfully. No other electronic aside from my laptop and new phone will be coming with me. If alex needs to talk to me, he can do it through my lawyer. Not sure if anything else will happen, my fingers are crossed that he doesn't think anythings amiss until after I leave - and I'm not turning the breaker back on when I do. He can when he gets home. My work is covering the plane ticket, so that at least is one expense I don't have to finagle in.
Update 3 May 7, 2024
Update 3: I have 2 weeks to get away from my husband.
It's been a busy week, but I've gotten so much done. Firstly, I am now out of the house and am currently in a hotel while I look for an apartment. It's a big city, bustling with people no matter where you look. We had a pretty bad storm system hit back home, that actually lasted two days. High winds, thunder, lightning and even hail everywhere. I didn't take much from the house, my documents, clothes and important sentimental items. I left all of the furniture and electronics behind. I cleaned the house top to bottom and took pictures on my phone so he couldn't claim I damaged anything when I left.
My lawyer has already started divorce proceedings, and my husband will be served on the 8th. His plane is due to land early morning, and the sheriff will be there at the house waiting for him. He is very much about public appearances and reputation. My lawyer will be calling him as well to inform him that I am more than willing to air out everything to the public about his actions if it means securing my freedom from him. I will go to court as long as I must to get this pushed through.
I haven't told our friends or his in-laws yet, I will do that while he is on the flight to prevent him from getting wind of it before he's handed the divorce papers. I will be calling around and explaining why we're getting divorced, to try and prevent him from twisting this into somehow being my fault. I don't want him trying to claim I had an affair or something so I want to get the truth out before he can twist this.
I'm... doing okay. I'm tired, but yet I feel almost jittery and off-kilter. I keep looking over my shoulder and monitoring what I say even when I don't really need to anymore. Hopefully that will fade soon. My work is covering the cost of the hotel, and I'm working on getting my other things in order. I also need to find a new GP as I want to get a full test just to make sure everything is okay. I don't know when my next update will be, probably when the divorce papers are filed or if we have to go to court to push them through. I will try to keep my head up, but it feels like I'm in a whirlwind or something with so many things to do and think about. I kinda thought it would be easier once I got out of the house but while the fear is smaller, somehow the number of tasks only seems to have grown.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
2024.05.14 06:00 Objective_Football11 Renting an apartment problems!
Me and my girlfriend are trying to rent an apartment for college. I have lived in an apartment the year prior but only signed papers and never did anything as to figuring the whole renting process out. (i lived with a friend and they did the whole process)
My question would be: How do i put a co signer if the application does not have a co signer part? (it is asking for employment but id figure id put my parents information considering they have money and a credit score?)
When should i put the move in date? When i move in or earlier so i can get a spot?
Once i get approved whats the process then? Do i start by signing the lease and putting a security deposit down?
If you guys could help a brother help i’d appreciate it!!!
submitted by Objective_Football11 to personalfinance [link] [comments]
My question would be: How do i put a co signer if the application does not have a co signer part? (it is asking for employment but id figure id put my parents information considering they have money and a credit score?)
When should i put the move in date? When i move in or earlier so i can get a spot?
Once i get approved whats the process then? Do i start by signing the lease and putting a security deposit down?
If you guys could help a brother help i’d appreciate it!!!
2024.05.14 06:00 Choice_Evidence1983 [New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
submitted by Choice_Evidence1983 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!
OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.
OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.Update: February 27, 2024
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?
OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?
OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down
OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.
----NEW UPDATE----
Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
2024.05.14 05:59 Spot-Live Job Applications
It was summer. He needed money to pay for school next year. He decided to get a job. He needed to apply to different places. He first made a resume. He then made a cover letter. He walked around his neighborhood.
submitted by Spot-Live to u/Spot-Live [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 05:55 Best_Impress2857 CMU or Syracuse for BArch??
I am a prospective architecture student who has been accepted at both Syracuse and Carnegie Mellon for the BArch program, and I am struggling to make a decision. I know that both programs are great, but I want to make sure I make the right decision and am fully informed about the program I choose. I was hoping to get some insight as to which choice would be better for me not only during college, but also after.
Here are some of my preferences regarding school: I probably won’t be participating as much in the party scene or greek life, but I still want to be in a social environment. I don’t really care much about the weather. I do want to travel abroad and obtain job/ internship opportunities in and out of school. I don’t want too artsy or too technical of a program, somewhere in the middle.
Now I’ll give more details for why I am struggling to make a decision:
Syracuse:
Pros: $10,000/ year scholarship, highly accredited (and ranked) architecture program, I like their arch building, I like the student work, good study abroad (NYC, Florence, South Korea, Japan), better connections with professors
Cons: very cold, not much in the surrounding area, 140 incoming architecture freshmen (very big class), less prestigious as a whole, professors only teach and aren't active in the field
Carnegie Mellon:
Pros: near city, professors are active in the field, well rounded school, only around 50 incoming architecture freshmen, 1 year study abroad at Singapore's NUS, better location
Cons: QOL not the best (?), more technical focused program (?), couldn't find many images or videos of student work or the facilities themselves
I understand that money does play a part in making a decision, but I would like to know about the programs themselves and which one would potentially be best for me. I would appreciate any answers, especially if you are alumni or active students at either school, or just architecture students in general. Thank you for any help!(also I have to make a decision by the 15th so this is kind of like a stress post lol)
submitted by Best_Impress2857 to cmu [link] [comments]
Here are some of my preferences regarding school: I probably won’t be participating as much in the party scene or greek life, but I still want to be in a social environment. I don’t really care much about the weather. I do want to travel abroad and obtain job/ internship opportunities in and out of school. I don’t want too artsy or too technical of a program, somewhere in the middle.
Now I’ll give more details for why I am struggling to make a decision:
Syracuse:
Pros: $10,000/ year scholarship, highly accredited (and ranked) architecture program, I like their arch building, I like the student work, good study abroad (NYC, Florence, South Korea, Japan), better connections with professors
Cons: very cold, not much in the surrounding area, 140 incoming architecture freshmen (very big class), less prestigious as a whole, professors only teach and aren't active in the field
Carnegie Mellon:
Pros: near city, professors are active in the field, well rounded school, only around 50 incoming architecture freshmen, 1 year study abroad at Singapore's NUS, better location
Cons: QOL not the best (?), more technical focused program (?), couldn't find many images or videos of student work or the facilities themselves
I understand that money does play a part in making a decision, but I would like to know about the programs themselves and which one would potentially be best for me. I would appreciate any answers, especially if you are alumni or active students at either school, or just architecture students in general. Thank you for any help!(also I have to make a decision by the 15th so this is kind of like a stress post lol)
2024.05.14 05:52 Best_Impress2857 Syracuse or CMU for BArch??
I am a prospective architecture student who has been accepted at both Syracuse and Carnegie Mellon for the BArch program, and I am struggling to make a decision. I know that both programs are great, but I want to make sure I make the right decision and am fully informed about the program I choose. I was hoping to get some insight as to which choice would be better for me not only during college, but also after.
Here are some of my preferences regarding school: I probably won’t be participating as much in the party scene or greek life, but I still want to be in a social environment. I don’t really care much about the weather. I do want to travel abroad and obtain job/ internship opportunities in and out of school. I don’t want too artsy or too technical of a program, somewhere in the middle.
Now I’ll give more details for why I am struggling to make a decision:
Syracuse:
Pros: $10,000/ year scholarship, highly accredited (and ranked) architecture program, I like their arch building, I like the student work, good study abroad (NYC, Florence, South Korea, Japan), better connections with professors
Cons: very cold, not much in the surrounding area, 140 incoming architecture freshmen (very big class), less prestigious as a whole, professors only teach and aren't active in the field
Carnegie Mellon:
Pros: near city, professors are active in the field, well rounded school, only around 50 incoming architecture freshmen, 1 year study abroad at Singapore's NUS, better location
Cons: QOL not the best, more technical focused program (?), couldn't find many images or videos of student work or the facilities themselves
I understand that money does play a part in making a decision, but I would like to know about the programs themselves and which one would potentially be best for me. I would appreciate any answers, especially if you are alumni or active students at either school, or just architecture students in general. Thank you for any help!
(also I have to make a decision by the 15th so this is kind of like a stress post lol)
submitted by Best_Impress2857 to ApplyingToCollege [link] [comments]
Here are some of my preferences regarding school: I probably won’t be participating as much in the party scene or greek life, but I still want to be in a social environment. I don’t really care much about the weather. I do want to travel abroad and obtain job/ internship opportunities in and out of school. I don’t want too artsy or too technical of a program, somewhere in the middle.
Now I’ll give more details for why I am struggling to make a decision:
Syracuse:
Pros: $10,000/ year scholarship, highly accredited (and ranked) architecture program, I like their arch building, I like the student work, good study abroad (NYC, Florence, South Korea, Japan), better connections with professors
Cons: very cold, not much in the surrounding area, 140 incoming architecture freshmen (very big class), less prestigious as a whole, professors only teach and aren't active in the field
Carnegie Mellon:
Pros: near city, professors are active in the field, well rounded school, only around 50 incoming architecture freshmen, 1 year study abroad at Singapore's NUS, better location
Cons: QOL not the best, more technical focused program (?), couldn't find many images or videos of student work or the facilities themselves
I understand that money does play a part in making a decision, but I would like to know about the programs themselves and which one would potentially be best for me. I would appreciate any answers, especially if you are alumni or active students at either school, or just architecture students in general. Thank you for any help!
(also I have to make a decision by the 15th so this is kind of like a stress post lol)
2024.05.14 05:51 FaravusGaming Not really sure what to title this but I'm... Tired.
As the title says I'm-- just, tired.
I'm tired of sleeping on a couch, I'm tired of not having a stable job-- I'm tired of not being able to afford good insurance, not being able to go to therapy... Not being able to buy the medications I need to help manage my depression and anxiety, or afford groceries-- I'm tired of living in a country where healthcare is so expensive, and food apparently isn't a human right (Hooray for the red white and blue-- right, America?)
I hate the fact that I can't get a job due to not owning a vehicle. I hate living in such a remote, middle of nowhere town and feeling *trapped* since I need money-- and thus, a job-- to afford a car, and yet I need a car in order to be able to drive to anywhere that's even *hiring.* since the nearest city is over a hundred miles a way, and in a town this rural and out of the way public transport is just-- totally non existent.
I'm tired of being sick all the time, and not having *space* and I just...
I'm tired of being hated for just trying to be myself
I wish I could afford to get back to college and finish my degree sometime before I'm 30, but that's just-- not viable right now.
I just... I want to die. I'm tired of living in a world where everything is such a struggle. I've already struggled with depression and schizoaffective disorder for much of my life thus far, and I just... Want to give up.
Honestly, if I could afford a car, even a cheap, used thing that barely runs, I'd probably just... leave. I don't know where I would go-- but... I'm tired of living like this, and something needs to change. Even with the constant reminder that I have family and friends who would miss me, even with drowning myself in distractions like reading, or talking to friends on discord, or gaming or streaming-- Even with distractions like that, the soul sucking emptiness is just. always there. Every day that passes I worry that I'll eventually give in, and start hurting myself again, or worse, make another attempt on my own life-- and I can't even afford to talk to a therapist about these issues, due to the shitty health insurance I have.
I know that I'm incredibly lucky to have a mom who's still alive, and willing to let me sleep on the couch so that I'm not homeless, who's willing to still provide shelter and food despite already struggling herself-- and honestly? that's part of the problem. I hate being essentially a freeloader.
Yeah, I do the household chores and general upkeep-- its the least I could do, since I don't have a job to help with bills-- but I just... I hate it.
I hate this town, I hate being alive and a burden, and I hate how little I can do to change the situation. I feel like just offing myself would be better, because then at least I wouldn't be a burden anymore.
I can't even use my old coping methods, because I promised that I wouldn't-- and then it would be a visible sign to those who cared about me that something was wrong if the injuries were discovered, and it would just... Be an incredible mess, and I just
Sorry, this whole thing has just been really just-- ramble-ey, and not structured? It's almost midnight and I'm just
I had to get this out, because the 'healthy' coping mechanisms aren't working anymore and i'm just...
Urgh.
submitted by FaravusGaming to venting [link] [comments]
I'm tired of sleeping on a couch, I'm tired of not having a stable job-- I'm tired of not being able to afford good insurance, not being able to go to therapy... Not being able to buy the medications I need to help manage my depression and anxiety, or afford groceries-- I'm tired of living in a country where healthcare is so expensive, and food apparently isn't a human right (Hooray for the red white and blue-- right, America?)
I hate the fact that I can't get a job due to not owning a vehicle. I hate living in such a remote, middle of nowhere town and feeling *trapped* since I need money-- and thus, a job-- to afford a car, and yet I need a car in order to be able to drive to anywhere that's even *hiring.* since the nearest city is over a hundred miles a way, and in a town this rural and out of the way public transport is just-- totally non existent.
I'm tired of being sick all the time, and not having *space* and I just...
I'm tired of being hated for just trying to be myself
I wish I could afford to get back to college and finish my degree sometime before I'm 30, but that's just-- not viable right now.
I just... I want to die. I'm tired of living in a world where everything is such a struggle. I've already struggled with depression and schizoaffective disorder for much of my life thus far, and I just... Want to give up.
Honestly, if I could afford a car, even a cheap, used thing that barely runs, I'd probably just... leave. I don't know where I would go-- but... I'm tired of living like this, and something needs to change. Even with the constant reminder that I have family and friends who would miss me, even with drowning myself in distractions like reading, or talking to friends on discord, or gaming or streaming-- Even with distractions like that, the soul sucking emptiness is just. always there. Every day that passes I worry that I'll eventually give in, and start hurting myself again, or worse, make another attempt on my own life-- and I can't even afford to talk to a therapist about these issues, due to the shitty health insurance I have.
I know that I'm incredibly lucky to have a mom who's still alive, and willing to let me sleep on the couch so that I'm not homeless, who's willing to still provide shelter and food despite already struggling herself-- and honestly? that's part of the problem. I hate being essentially a freeloader.
Yeah, I do the household chores and general upkeep-- its the least I could do, since I don't have a job to help with bills-- but I just... I hate it.
I hate this town, I hate being alive and a burden, and I hate how little I can do to change the situation. I feel like just offing myself would be better, because then at least I wouldn't be a burden anymore.
I can't even use my old coping methods, because I promised that I wouldn't-- and then it would be a visible sign to those who cared about me that something was wrong if the injuries were discovered, and it would just... Be an incredible mess, and I just
Sorry, this whole thing has just been really just-- ramble-ey, and not structured? It's almost midnight and I'm just
I had to get this out, because the 'healthy' coping mechanisms aren't working anymore and i'm just...
Urgh.
2024.05.14 05:47 Mango_Upbeat Started as a pop up food stand last month
I wanted to share what my first month in business has taught me about mobile food vending businesses. Especially wanted to throw this out there for all those who are looking into mobile food businesses or just starting.
Last month I started a food stand, I got permitted, licensed and bought all the equipment plus a hauling trailer. My business partner and I have spent about 18k to start and fund ourselves this first month (food, fees, supplies, equipment, etc.). We both knew that everything would be a loss at first. We also both have full time jobs so this is a side thing and not a primary source of income. We have worked every weekend at markets for the past month. We made about 5k. It's been tough. Here's some stuff we have learned so far.
Food stands are only a way to make money seasonally where we live. We live in WA and the past month showed us how little people go out in a freezing cold rain. Can't blame them tho. So, before thinking about opening one, be realistic about how long you can stay in business in the year.
No matter how good your food is, if you are not at the right location you will not make money!! The location is very important. If you are in a market that is oversaturated with the same food as you, people are less likely to give the new person a try.
You will not make money for sometime. You cannot rely on this for income at the beginning. This is a money pit in the beginning. Focus on building a following.
Get some socials up and logo designs, business cards, ways of connecting with people. Get in fb groups for food trucks and pop ups. You literally have to be a salesperson at first to get people to give you a try. BANNERS with pictures of your food! People eat with their eyes.
If your food is good enough after that one try they will hooked. This is what we have experienced. But we literally had to convince people to just try us. Giving samples etc. Once they tried our food, they came back everyday we were open, sometimes multiple times a day.
Your food matters. It's the representation of you and your business. Don't put mediocre shit out there, they will not come back. Give samples. People love that.
Keep the menu small, especially at first until you have mastered the initial menu.
Do not come into this thinking your gonna be making good money at first because you won't. You will give a lot of time and money for no return for a while.
Lastly, I am sure next month will bring forth more lessons/challenges to learn. I remind myself to stay optimistic because there are times where you question it all. It's gonna take time. More than I had initially anticipated. But that's how it is.
submitted by Mango_Upbeat to foodtrucks [link] [comments]
Last month I started a food stand, I got permitted, licensed and bought all the equipment plus a hauling trailer. My business partner and I have spent about 18k to start and fund ourselves this first month (food, fees, supplies, equipment, etc.). We both knew that everything would be a loss at first. We also both have full time jobs so this is a side thing and not a primary source of income. We have worked every weekend at markets for the past month. We made about 5k. It's been tough. Here's some stuff we have learned so far.
Food stands are only a way to make money seasonally where we live. We live in WA and the past month showed us how little people go out in a freezing cold rain. Can't blame them tho. So, before thinking about opening one, be realistic about how long you can stay in business in the year.
No matter how good your food is, if you are not at the right location you will not make money!! The location is very important. If you are in a market that is oversaturated with the same food as you, people are less likely to give the new person a try.
You will not make money for sometime. You cannot rely on this for income at the beginning. This is a money pit in the beginning. Focus on building a following.
Get some socials up and logo designs, business cards, ways of connecting with people. Get in fb groups for food trucks and pop ups. You literally have to be a salesperson at first to get people to give you a try. BANNERS with pictures of your food! People eat with their eyes.
If your food is good enough after that one try they will hooked. This is what we have experienced. But we literally had to convince people to just try us. Giving samples etc. Once they tried our food, they came back everyday we were open, sometimes multiple times a day.
Your food matters. It's the representation of you and your business. Don't put mediocre shit out there, they will not come back. Give samples. People love that.
Keep the menu small, especially at first until you have mastered the initial menu.
Do not come into this thinking your gonna be making good money at first because you won't. You will give a lot of time and money for no return for a while.
Lastly, I am sure next month will bring forth more lessons/challenges to learn. I remind myself to stay optimistic because there are times where you question it all. It's gonna take time. More than I had initially anticipated. But that's how it is.
2024.05.14 05:46 Ok-Caterpillar-2942 Why Am I 22F Outgrowing Him 27M?
I am currently 22F, I met him 27M when I was 20. We have been together for almost 2 years now. He is a few years older than me. I grew up very fast, my first serious relationship lasted me 4 years (I was 14-18) , & by the time I turned 19 I was already working in the club. At the time, my ex moved on fast after us and I definitely just did a lot of things to get back at him or show off like I was okay. I also had an abortion months prior to meeting my bf so mentally, I was out of it. I was struggling with drinking, I constantly blacked out and drank for no reason. When my partner met me, I made a lot of money while juggling another 9-5 and college so of course, I was more mature than majority of girls my age and his. We did a lot of partying in our early stages and I think that’s what grew us together but being sober, has opened my eyes. As i’ve grown up more being with him, I’ve noticed i really hate his certain habits he has. I guess when we met I didn’t see it as anything but now I get so irked. He has a 6 yr old and his BM despises me. Him having this kid drains me, at first it was cute but now I’m just annoyed. For the first year and a half, she always had my name in her mouth and accused me of predatory behavior at some point which triggered the hell out of me. It stresses me out a lot. We moved in a few months ago, and I hate to say it but some days I just don’t feel how I used to. He is so arrogant at times and is not teachable. He can be very ignorant and stubborn. Sometimes I want to help teach him but then i’m like.. lol I still have to help myself in this crazy world too! We have great days, he’s really kind and helpful, I love him but I wonder if this is just a phase we can work out. I see the good in him but his impulsiveness can cloud that. Because my life has been so traumatic since a young age, my family has been locked up, my parents are not from the US and I’ve seen a lot of struggle, I empathize with him. Yet, I also want to put me first. I’m young and as much as I love him, I sometimes wonder if this is worth it? Should I push through or give up. We make a great team and we both have businesses, we have the same interest but I think my interests have changed since then. His bm situation (she has just hated me and said nasty things about me) definitely makes things worse for me. Ugh lol young love is so draining ☹️ Why should I continue, or is it just a phase that we can fight through?
submitted by Ok-Caterpillar-2942 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 05:45 UnluckyValentine611 My (26 NB) work friend tricked me (25 NB) into going on a date with them. Where do we go from here?
I (25 NB) met my friend (26 NB) at work, we have the same position at work and usually end up paired with each other. We get along great and have a lot of similar interests. I’ve given them rides home from work a lot cause we live near each other, and I thought we’d developed a strong friendship. They’ve worked at the company a little longer than I have, I’ve been working there since August. We’ve only been friends really since Januaryish when I got promoted.
Anyways they kept requesting we hang out together outside of work, I didn’t see this as odd because we’ve hung out together outside of work as a friend group, I have many friends at my job and we usually do group outings or parties, so it wasn’t odd to me that they wanted to hang out. The day they wanted to go out, none of my roommates were available to go with. 2 out of 3 of my roommates (25 M, 23 F and 25 M) work at the same business. So I went with them on my own, they seemed ecstatic that it was just the 2 of us. I picked them up and we initially just planned to go to the mall. We walked around, talked, bought stuff and eventually had lunch.
They kept staring at me which I found awkward but figured because we’re both autistic that I was uncomfortable with the eye contact or they just happen to make a lot of eye contact. They also keep walking really close to me and “accidentally” bumping my hand. After the mall they still wanted to hang out so we went to the thrift store and had a lot of fun making fun of the silly knick knacks, we both love Fallout New Vegas so they were looking for a jacket that looked like Benny Geckos from the game.
After that they still wanted to keep hanging out, at this point I was pretty tired but figured we were having fun. It’s hard for me to say no, and I use a cane for chronic pain so I usually need to take a frequent number of breaks which we hadn’t done yet but they hadn’t picked up that I was tired yet. I was having fun and at this point they did apologize about keeping me out for so long, I said it’s ok because I like long friendship hangout days, which is not a lie, my body just doesn’t enjoy it as much.
Next we went to get boba and they bought me a drink, at this point they had paid for none of my stuff, we split the food earlier and I lightheartedly threatened them to not spend money on me. When we were in the boba shop, they once again kept staring and moving their hand towards mine. I deterred this because it made me uncomfortable by talking with my hands which I usually do anyways. They were nice and listened to me infodump to them about tmnt (tmnts my special interest) but still continued their staring. I kept getting in my head that they were just being nice and I was ruining things thinking that they had ulterior motives.
I forgot to mention that they have a boyfriend (27 M), but they had offhandingly mentioned that they were poly. We then went to a gaming shop to look at dnd and pathfinder stuff, I had to pee incredibly badly at this point but they ignored my subtle pleas to leave, which understandably was my fault as I said I could hold it at the boba shop.
At this point I’m exhausted and in a lot of pain so I suggested we end our hang out after finding a bathroom. They still insisted on hanging out longer so I suggested they come to my apartment cause at this point I’d run out of stuff for us to do. This is where things got a bit uncomfy. My roommates were all home at this point but all left briefly to go pick up food. My roommate who I share a room with requested I don’t bring my friend into our room while she was in there, but gave me the go ahead to show them our room once she and my other roommates left to get their food.
I like showing my friends my collections whenever they come over so I saw no inappropriate reason to do the same. I have some Dnd, Fallout and Tmnt stuff I wanted to show them. I did my normal showing off my stuff thing. At some point I walked them over to my desk to show them my figurines, my desk is in a corner by my closet and bed so you can only go up to it from 1 side, I talked for a bit and noticed I was cornered. I have past trauma and hate being cornered, I kept making attempts to hint that I wanted to get out of the corner but they stayed firmly in place, even leaning with their hand on my desk to further block me in which I thought was strange.
Eventually I manage to slip by them by saying I wanted to show them my shelf on the opposite side of the room. The shelf is lower and next to my bed so I sit down to point things out. They then ask if they can sit down as well. I say yes and they proceed to sit down directly next to me, our thighs are touching firmly and they lean in on my bed with their arm behind me. I’m once again cornered and panicked now. I have a thing with my thighs where I HATE anyone touching them, it causes a violent reaction, my brain screams at me to bite, punch or claw anyone who touches them, I feel sick and absolutely enraged whenever it happens. I’ve been SAed in the past but even before that I had that reaction, my therapist says it might be a trauma response from childhood that I don’t remember.
I didn’t want to hurt them and luckily I have the violent outbursts completely under control so I just stiffened up and internalized the rage while trying to steady my breathing. They obviously know nothing about my trauma because we haven’t been friends for very long. So I continue talking about my 2003 rerelease tmnt figures and let them continue to touch me while trying not to cry.
Luckily my roommates return, and I immediately get up and leave my room to greet them. At this point I’m incredibly uncomfortable and wanted them out. But I felt bad if I suddenly kicked them out and I also was their ride. We decided to watch a movie in the living room, I sat in the couch corner and they decided to lay down on the rest of the couch while leaning up near me. One of my roommates picked up on the vibe and decided to join us for the movie, the other two sat at the table where you can still see the tv to eat their food since there was no room on the couch.
I decided to crochet during the movie to help ease my nerves. Every once in a while during the movie I could see them staring at me. Once the movie was over I offered to take them home. When I dropped them off they asked if they could hug me, I gave them a nervous sure, when they hugged me they put their nose into the crook of my neck which gave me the ick.
I’m not sure if it’s just me but I hate whenever I want a friend or just want to hang out with a friend and they turn it into something more without asking me! I’ve been notoriously “manic pixie dream girled” my entire life and I’m sick of it. If you want to go out with me just make your intentions known and ask me on a date! I wouldn’t have said yes but I think they knew that and felt the need to trick me instead.
I’m also incredibly turned off by the fact that their boyfriend just had surgery for appendicitis and is also about to have top surgery this week too and instead of caring for him they’re trying to get into my pants.
The whole situation feels icky and I’m so sad cause I thought I found a cool friend. They’re trying to get me to hang out with them again (even though their boyfriend is having top surgery) and I told them I have therapy and college dumpster diving on my days off this week and they’re trying to get me to work around those.
I just want some advice, am I in the wrong for feeling weird around them now or should I see how this plays out. I usually stick to dating women and other nonbinary people so they’re technically in the range of people I can potentially be attracted to but idk. I haven’t been interested in dating a lot lately cause I’ve been working through my trauma in therapy for the past year. My roommates also thought the whole situation was strange and uncomfortable. My roommate also asked if she had ever done anything like that to make me uncomfortable (she’s also amab like my friend), I reassured her she had never done that and that I feel very safe with her.
submitted by UnluckyValentine611 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Anyways they kept requesting we hang out together outside of work, I didn’t see this as odd because we’ve hung out together outside of work as a friend group, I have many friends at my job and we usually do group outings or parties, so it wasn’t odd to me that they wanted to hang out. The day they wanted to go out, none of my roommates were available to go with. 2 out of 3 of my roommates (25 M, 23 F and 25 M) work at the same business. So I went with them on my own, they seemed ecstatic that it was just the 2 of us. I picked them up and we initially just planned to go to the mall. We walked around, talked, bought stuff and eventually had lunch.
They kept staring at me which I found awkward but figured because we’re both autistic that I was uncomfortable with the eye contact or they just happen to make a lot of eye contact. They also keep walking really close to me and “accidentally” bumping my hand. After the mall they still wanted to hang out so we went to the thrift store and had a lot of fun making fun of the silly knick knacks, we both love Fallout New Vegas so they were looking for a jacket that looked like Benny Geckos from the game.
After that they still wanted to keep hanging out, at this point I was pretty tired but figured we were having fun. It’s hard for me to say no, and I use a cane for chronic pain so I usually need to take a frequent number of breaks which we hadn’t done yet but they hadn’t picked up that I was tired yet. I was having fun and at this point they did apologize about keeping me out for so long, I said it’s ok because I like long friendship hangout days, which is not a lie, my body just doesn’t enjoy it as much.
Next we went to get boba and they bought me a drink, at this point they had paid for none of my stuff, we split the food earlier and I lightheartedly threatened them to not spend money on me. When we were in the boba shop, they once again kept staring and moving their hand towards mine. I deterred this because it made me uncomfortable by talking with my hands which I usually do anyways. They were nice and listened to me infodump to them about tmnt (tmnts my special interest) but still continued their staring. I kept getting in my head that they were just being nice and I was ruining things thinking that they had ulterior motives.
I forgot to mention that they have a boyfriend (27 M), but they had offhandingly mentioned that they were poly. We then went to a gaming shop to look at dnd and pathfinder stuff, I had to pee incredibly badly at this point but they ignored my subtle pleas to leave, which understandably was my fault as I said I could hold it at the boba shop.
At this point I’m exhausted and in a lot of pain so I suggested we end our hang out after finding a bathroom. They still insisted on hanging out longer so I suggested they come to my apartment cause at this point I’d run out of stuff for us to do. This is where things got a bit uncomfy. My roommates were all home at this point but all left briefly to go pick up food. My roommate who I share a room with requested I don’t bring my friend into our room while she was in there, but gave me the go ahead to show them our room once she and my other roommates left to get their food.
I like showing my friends my collections whenever they come over so I saw no inappropriate reason to do the same. I have some Dnd, Fallout and Tmnt stuff I wanted to show them. I did my normal showing off my stuff thing. At some point I walked them over to my desk to show them my figurines, my desk is in a corner by my closet and bed so you can only go up to it from 1 side, I talked for a bit and noticed I was cornered. I have past trauma and hate being cornered, I kept making attempts to hint that I wanted to get out of the corner but they stayed firmly in place, even leaning with their hand on my desk to further block me in which I thought was strange.
Eventually I manage to slip by them by saying I wanted to show them my shelf on the opposite side of the room. The shelf is lower and next to my bed so I sit down to point things out. They then ask if they can sit down as well. I say yes and they proceed to sit down directly next to me, our thighs are touching firmly and they lean in on my bed with their arm behind me. I’m once again cornered and panicked now. I have a thing with my thighs where I HATE anyone touching them, it causes a violent reaction, my brain screams at me to bite, punch or claw anyone who touches them, I feel sick and absolutely enraged whenever it happens. I’ve been SAed in the past but even before that I had that reaction, my therapist says it might be a trauma response from childhood that I don’t remember.
I didn’t want to hurt them and luckily I have the violent outbursts completely under control so I just stiffened up and internalized the rage while trying to steady my breathing. They obviously know nothing about my trauma because we haven’t been friends for very long. So I continue talking about my 2003 rerelease tmnt figures and let them continue to touch me while trying not to cry.
Luckily my roommates return, and I immediately get up and leave my room to greet them. At this point I’m incredibly uncomfortable and wanted them out. But I felt bad if I suddenly kicked them out and I also was their ride. We decided to watch a movie in the living room, I sat in the couch corner and they decided to lay down on the rest of the couch while leaning up near me. One of my roommates picked up on the vibe and decided to join us for the movie, the other two sat at the table where you can still see the tv to eat their food since there was no room on the couch.
I decided to crochet during the movie to help ease my nerves. Every once in a while during the movie I could see them staring at me. Once the movie was over I offered to take them home. When I dropped them off they asked if they could hug me, I gave them a nervous sure, when they hugged me they put their nose into the crook of my neck which gave me the ick.
I’m not sure if it’s just me but I hate whenever I want a friend or just want to hang out with a friend and they turn it into something more without asking me! I’ve been notoriously “manic pixie dream girled” my entire life and I’m sick of it. If you want to go out with me just make your intentions known and ask me on a date! I wouldn’t have said yes but I think they knew that and felt the need to trick me instead.
I’m also incredibly turned off by the fact that their boyfriend just had surgery for appendicitis and is also about to have top surgery this week too and instead of caring for him they’re trying to get into my pants.
The whole situation feels icky and I’m so sad cause I thought I found a cool friend. They’re trying to get me to hang out with them again (even though their boyfriend is having top surgery) and I told them I have therapy and college dumpster diving on my days off this week and they’re trying to get me to work around those.
I just want some advice, am I in the wrong for feeling weird around them now or should I see how this plays out. I usually stick to dating women and other nonbinary people so they’re technically in the range of people I can potentially be attracted to but idk. I haven’t been interested in dating a lot lately cause I’ve been working through my trauma in therapy for the past year. My roommates also thought the whole situation was strange and uncomfortable. My roommate also asked if she had ever done anything like that to make me uncomfortable (she’s also amab like my friend), I reassured her she had never done that and that I feel very safe with her.
2024.05.14 05:44 NaturalAppropriate Common App Essay Question
This is legit a serious question and NOT SATIRE but I'm thinking about writing about Fortnite in my college essay; will that take away from the overall rating of the essay to AO's since I'm writing about an "unserious" topic?
For context, I've earned actual money in the game, placed in multiple global tournaments, and I'm the captain of our school's team. It definitely won't be high on my ECs list (prolly close to 8-9) but I feel like there's a lot of stuff I could talk about.
I obviously don't plan on literally talking about Fortnite but I want to draw some parallels with the game and my life that I think could possibly be really meaningful and engaging. Thoughts? If the idea is stupid just gimme a reality check in the comments lmao I'll think of a new common app.
submitted by NaturalAppropriate to ApplyingToCollege [link] [comments]
For context, I've earned actual money in the game, placed in multiple global tournaments, and I'm the captain of our school's team. It definitely won't be high on my ECs list (prolly close to 8-9) but I feel like there's a lot of stuff I could talk about.
I obviously don't plan on literally talking about Fortnite but I want to draw some parallels with the game and my life that I think could possibly be really meaningful and engaging. Thoughts? If the idea is stupid just gimme a reality check in the comments lmao I'll think of a new common app.
2024.05.14 05:44 shaneka69 LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024
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2024.05.14 05:44 Mammoth-Resist1106 Advice?
I’m a 21 year old male. I’ve been in the national guard for about 3 years now. I work on blackhawks and got hired to work full time as a wg-10 a year ago. sounds great but the issue is, i don’t see myself doing this for my whole life. I’ve had the idea in starting up college online this fall in intelligence because i’ve always been interested in it. i’ve been out of school for 3 years i just hope i still got the brain power to do it, especially working full time. Is a bachelors in intelligence and good start?
I’ve just been panicking honestly for awhile now because my girlfriend already finished her degree and i’m still navigating my career. i have the opportunity to go thru college debt free but i just don’t want to waste it.
I’ve thought about doing something like cybersecurity but i have no idea what that really entails or how to do it. i just know it’s a growing field and plenty of jobs out there paying great money, but like i said i have more of an interest doing intelligence and maybe working for a three letter organization one day. but everytime i look up working for one of those organizations it seems almost not achievable. any help would be gladly appreciated. i’m just a lost kid.
submitted by Mammoth-Resist1106 to Intelligence [link] [comments]
I’ve just been panicking honestly for awhile now because my girlfriend already finished her degree and i’m still navigating my career. i have the opportunity to go thru college debt free but i just don’t want to waste it.
I’ve thought about doing something like cybersecurity but i have no idea what that really entails or how to do it. i just know it’s a growing field and plenty of jobs out there paying great money, but like i said i have more of an interest doing intelligence and maybe working for a three letter organization one day. but everytime i look up working for one of those organizations it seems almost not achievable. any help would be gladly appreciated. i’m just a lost kid.
2024.05.14 05:40 Casiorollo 15 y/o brother neglecting school for work, how can I help?
I, 23f, have a brother 15m, who has almost completely stopped caring about/going to school. He is currently failing every class, and he’s gotten more defiant at home with my dad and his mom, who is not my mom. I don’t live with them, but I live nearby. I am of the opinion that most of this behavior is brought on by my dad and his wife’s bad parenting. I just graduated college and my dad, knowing that I was always a really good student, wants me to tutor him and try to get his grades up from failing for the last three weeks or so of school.
My problem is that the last time I talked to my little brother, he made it pretty clear that he doesn’t see the point in school and doesn’t know why he should waste time learning useless stuff there when he can learn everything he wants on his phone, even though he doesn’t, and that the job he wants won’t require anything but math class (paramedic) and he will learn most of what he needs in training.
I’ m not sure what to say to him or if there any videos, I can show him to convince him the value of school in today’s world full of technology. He has his drivers permit, but doesn’t have a drivers license and hasn’t even really worked on getting it. He knows I’ve gone to college, but thinks that college in general is useless, which I’m not saying it isn’t, but he thinks that since college is useless most times that high school is useless too. At this point, he won’t even get his diploma though, which is required for most jobs, some thing he is also already aware of. He’s told me that he doesn’t want his life to revolve around School like mine has, because I was always a straight-a student who often couldn’t go to events because I had so much homework, but I’m not telling him to do that either, I just simply don’t want him to fail.
He also feels that his job is more important because he’s actually making money that he can use to live off of, but it’s cutting into school time and he doesn’t even really do homework anymore because he’s at work for the maximum amount of hours. I’m actually tempted to report his work for exploding child labor because I’m pretty sure he’s exceeding the maximum number of hours allowed for a kid to work during the school week. At least tonight he worked from after school until 9. That’s 36 hours a week. I’m pretty sure the max is 25 for his age.
I just don’t know what to say or how to tutor him if he places no value in school. I think he wants to get his diploma, but he won’t be trying his best in our sessions unless I can convince him doing more than the bare minimum is worth it. Because if he tries to do the bare minimum, he will still fail.
Thanks for any help with this.
submitted by Casiorollo to Advice [link] [comments]
My problem is that the last time I talked to my little brother, he made it pretty clear that he doesn’t see the point in school and doesn’t know why he should waste time learning useless stuff there when he can learn everything he wants on his phone, even though he doesn’t, and that the job he wants won’t require anything but math class (paramedic) and he will learn most of what he needs in training.
I’ m not sure what to say to him or if there any videos, I can show him to convince him the value of school in today’s world full of technology. He has his drivers permit, but doesn’t have a drivers license and hasn’t even really worked on getting it. He knows I’ve gone to college, but thinks that college in general is useless, which I’m not saying it isn’t, but he thinks that since college is useless most times that high school is useless too. At this point, he won’t even get his diploma though, which is required for most jobs, some thing he is also already aware of. He’s told me that he doesn’t want his life to revolve around School like mine has, because I was always a straight-a student who often couldn’t go to events because I had so much homework, but I’m not telling him to do that either, I just simply don’t want him to fail.
He also feels that his job is more important because he’s actually making money that he can use to live off of, but it’s cutting into school time and he doesn’t even really do homework anymore because he’s at work for the maximum amount of hours. I’m actually tempted to report his work for exploding child labor because I’m pretty sure he’s exceeding the maximum number of hours allowed for a kid to work during the school week. At least tonight he worked from after school until 9. That’s 36 hours a week. I’m pretty sure the max is 25 for his age.
I just don’t know what to say or how to tutor him if he places no value in school. I think he wants to get his diploma, but he won’t be trying his best in our sessions unless I can convince him doing more than the bare minimum is worth it. Because if he tries to do the bare minimum, he will still fail.
Thanks for any help with this.
2024.05.14 05:37 dontknowwhereiamgoin AITA for making a thing with these old trainers
So I've been going to this gym for years and I'm friends with some of the trainers there too. Around early this year, the gym hired two new trainers - one in his 40s and the other in her 50s possibly. And just last week, I was lifting as usual and this new trainer guy comes to me and tells me I can't wear a jean I have to leave. And here's the funniest part - I wasn't even wearing a jean. I was wearing one of those Zara Jogger Pants. I could've had an altercation with the guy at that moment but I was almost done with my workout I just left without any scene.
And today after work, I headed to the gym as usual, and I see the guy on the floor. So I confronted him this isn't a jean that I'm wearing. this is jogger pants. I honestly thought he would apologize for what happened last week and accept he was wrong, but this guy insists this is a jean and tells me he's just doing his job. he goes on how this isn't personal and he's just following an order from his boss. As someone who's worked in retail back in college, I tried my best to understand the guy. I was like okay let's forget about it and focus on my work out.
But it was hard... I still felt like he should've apologized or at least accept that he was wrong. So I went to the front desk and asked the female trainer if she thinks the pants I'm wearing looks like a jean and of course she tells me "no you are good" because well..this isn't a jean. So I explained what happened with the guy and told her I think he owes me an apology. She then tells me she wants to see my pants again which baffled me because I told her this pants is literally called "Zara Jogger Pants." I tried to stay calm and told her this is called Zara Jogger Pants and she raises her voice that she doesn't care what this is called. I was so mad I told her how could you not care?!!(okay maybe she didn't raise her voice like I felt like she did but the tone was definitely hostile). she starts explaining she needs to see if the pants has back pockets or belt buckles like a jean. I again tell her this is called Zara "Jogger" pants!! she again goes "I don't care!!" I was like what the fuck lmao okay let's just move past this and talk with the guy first. So I waited for him to finish his lesson on the floor and asked him if he has a minute to talk.
I once again explained this isn't a jean and I feel like he owes me an apology. As expected the guy again says "nope" and gives me "I'm just doing my job and this isn't personal". I again tried telling him my point is because you did your job wrong I had to leave last time and I paid my good money to be here. I wanted to tell him whether you think this is a jean or not isn't important, my point is because you were wrong I had to leave last time and you owe me an apology. I tried my best to be not rude ... I mean they are like in my mom's age. Did I pick an unnecessary fight?
submitted by dontknowwhereiamgoin to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
And today after work, I headed to the gym as usual, and I see the guy on the floor. So I confronted him this isn't a jean that I'm wearing. this is jogger pants. I honestly thought he would apologize for what happened last week and accept he was wrong, but this guy insists this is a jean and tells me he's just doing his job. he goes on how this isn't personal and he's just following an order from his boss. As someone who's worked in retail back in college, I tried my best to understand the guy. I was like okay let's forget about it and focus on my work out.
But it was hard... I still felt like he should've apologized or at least accept that he was wrong. So I went to the front desk and asked the female trainer if she thinks the pants I'm wearing looks like a jean and of course she tells me "no you are good" because well..this isn't a jean. So I explained what happened with the guy and told her I think he owes me an apology. She then tells me she wants to see my pants again which baffled me because I told her this pants is literally called "Zara Jogger Pants." I tried to stay calm and told her this is called Zara Jogger Pants and she raises her voice that she doesn't care what this is called. I was so mad I told her how could you not care?!!(okay maybe she didn't raise her voice like I felt like she did but the tone was definitely hostile). she starts explaining she needs to see if the pants has back pockets or belt buckles like a jean. I again tell her this is called Zara "Jogger" pants!! she again goes "I don't care!!" I was like what the fuck lmao okay let's just move past this and talk with the guy first. So I waited for him to finish his lesson on the floor and asked him if he has a minute to talk.
I once again explained this isn't a jean and I feel like he owes me an apology. As expected the guy again says "nope" and gives me "I'm just doing my job and this isn't personal". I again tried telling him my point is because you did your job wrong I had to leave last time and I paid my good money to be here. I wanted to tell him whether you think this is a jean or not isn't important, my point is because you were wrong I had to leave last time and you owe me an apology. I tried my best to be not rude ... I mean they are like in my mom's age. Did I pick an unnecessary fight?
2024.05.14 05:36 enchiladasmylove I finally got excited about dress hunting but my dream dress is more expensive than what I feel comfortable paying :(
 | I guess this is more to get it out of my chest, since I've been following this subreddit for a while and I thought it was finally my time! submitted by enchiladasmylove to weddingdress [link] [comments] I got engaged a year ago and my wedding is taking place in October at the beach. I have never been the type of "dreaming about my wedding" or having a pinterest board for it, but I have been trying to enjoy the process on my own way. Im in a LDR so even though my fiancé is wonderful at trying to be present, the truth is this process feels a bit lonely. Anyway, to the point of the post! One of the things I've been avoiding is dress hunting. I went to a few shops in my home country and I hated the experience, all sample sizes were too small, max size 6 and I'm a size 14, so it was a lot of "imagine how it would look like on you". I tried 5 bridal shops and gave up for a few months after that. I have never felt more ugly and disgusting than on those shops. Until this past week that I travelled to the US to attend some bridal shop appts and services of "Try at Home" on a few websites. I wanted to visit Anthropologie because the dresses seemed out of this world, exactly my style! but I knew it was in the more expensive side of my budget. I liked a few dresses from others shops that were around $500 but then I went to my anthropologie appt and just FELL IN LOVE with a dress. It made me feel everything I have been reading you feel when you try the one, it made me feel sexy, and romantic, but most important, made me feel comfortable in my own body. BUUUT this dress is almost $2000 which I know is not much compared to other dresses but it is 4 times the price of the others ones that I tried. Those other dresses were okey but just did not feel anything while trying them. I told my partner about this and he was super nice and supportive and told me that if that was the dress then that was the dress, and we could cut other expenses for the wedding in order to fit it in our budget, but I just can't stop feeling guilty if I decide to spend that much money on a dress I'm wearing once! Specially because that would mean cutting on flowers for the venue or other stuff like that (that tbh I'm not too bothered by it, could live without flowers) I have tried looking for similar dresses but since I can't really afford to go back to the US to check more dresses I would have to order online and just hope for the best. I think I'm going to give myself a couple of weeks to see if I can find it second-hand online and if not then make the decision on if it's worth buying it or if I should keep looking for another one/settle for one of the ones I tried in other shops. Anyway, that was my rant. I'll show a picture of me wearing that beautiful dress so you can all suffer with me, or maybe tell me that I don't look that good and at least I won't feel bad if I don't end up buying it lol: https://preview.redd.it/tspmdhj2bb0d1.jpg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b7fe48ed4660d44abece0053a7e23b81348ba41 |
2024.05.14 05:33 Straight-Message-432 "Children" expose deceit, "farm" is in civil strife, "painting cake" seeks comfort
 | "Forget the tears of your parents, forget the tenderness of your husband", this is what Guo Wengui said to deceive Yan Limeng; "My father is Guo Wengui, and his insults and injuries to women are infuriating, and I will not stand idly by", this is what Guo Wengui's daughter Guo Mei said to Accusation of Guo Wengui's evil deeds; "Comrades, please act in advance", this is Guo Wengui's ecstasy soup. Nowadays, Guo Wengui is in prison and facing verbal and verbal criticism from his relatives and society. It can be said that he is truly "betrayed and separated from his relatives". As usual, Guo Wengui, who is in prison, continues to "live chat randomly" in an attempt to cover up everything and "grant money" to himself as a "red-letter criminal and fraudster" who is being rounded up by the judiciary. "Smashing the pot, exposing the lie, and judging" is like Lingchi's knife cutting into Guo Wengui's vital points. Masturbating orally is no longer helpful, and will only be self-defeating. submitted by Straight-Message-432 to u/Straight-Message-432 [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/f9n1pqawab0d1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aac58dd0affa51f66b1641cc3922adbecca69796 If it sticks to the pan, it will become moldy, and if it is covered with gold, it cannot conceal its "broom star" characteristics. Judging from the past, it has become an iron rule that "sticking to the pot will lead to mold" and "supporting Guo will lead to death", and Guo Wengui himself has the attribute of "broom star". It is a fact that "investors" have lost their entire fortune and lost their lives; it is a reality that "those who support Guo" have had their marriages broken up and their husbands and wives are at odds; it is a norm that "those who stick to the pot" are being pursued through judicial investigations and public opinion. It is Guo Wengui's method to squeeze everyone to the extreme; it is Guo Wengui's conspiracy to structure every sentence ruthlessly. Bannon stuck to the pot, was deceived and arrested, and the judicial investigation has not been slowed down; the pro-democracy movement stuck to the pot, was abandoned and scolded, and now fights back to expose the deception of Wengui; Yan Limeng stuck to the pot, was banned and condemned, and encountered Wengui defrauding Dai Gao cap. From a practical point of view, there are countless people who stick to the pot, but only a few who get good rewards. Yan Limeng, who was deceived by Guo Wengui and Bannon, became their puppet in creating the "epidemic made in Wuhan". When the rumor-mongering platform Guo Wengui's "career" is to confuse right and wrong, and the "ability" of a liar is to tell nonsense. Guo Wengui vividly interprets these two. Trapped in a quagmire, it's hard to stop cheating. The "Guo Scam" is full of loopholes. At this point, Guo Wengui's lies and scams can be called a "sieve", full of loopholes. For a long time, he has used his identity as a "victim" to "sell misfortune" to the world and "fool" ants, creating a scammer's way of "having the 'blue and gold' in his hand, and he is not afraid of spreading rumors and smearing." Looking at Guo Wengui from a "family perspective", Guo Meizai once said in a tweet: "Wang Yanping is Guo Wengui's nephew's daughter-in-law, and later became Guo Wengui's 'girlfriend'", and mentioned that "Guo Wengui loves women but also harms them", tweeted Although small, it contains a huge amount of information. Combined with Guo Wengui's long history of skillfully using "pornographic, ethical" and other obscene words, it can be seen that Guo Wengui is a "practitioner" of his words. Every ridiculous and shameless evil act, every scam that is outraged by people and gods, and every deception and abduction. Lies are all "true portrayals" of Guo Wengui's life. Guo Wengui's "revelation" is actually a "mirror". Outsiders can see Guo Li's miserable past in the first half of his life, while Guo himself has modified it to deceive the world. This is the nature of a "charlatan". Everything is revealed in the report, and the Plague Turtle scam is difficult to continue; everything is encircled and tried during the investigation, and Guo Qiao is struggling. The Guizhou donkey has no skills, and masturbation cannot change the ending of the "lost dog". As usual, Gui Wengui continued to incite his ignorant comrades to harass the blame-breakers by "financing" for himself, "seeking profits" for his comrades, and "breaking the news" to the world. Lawsuits were lost one after another, scams were exposed one after another, and summonses were served one after another. Guo Wengui was already at the end of his rope, had no way out, and was sitting in jail. Today, Guo Wengui is still in prison seeking comfort and "mouth high" to relieve his depression. He is already in the predicament of a "lost dog" and a "drowned dog". Behind Guizhou Donkey's helpless wail is the ringing of the doomsday bell. It is Guo's deception that the end is coming. sign. "Children" expose deceit, "Farm" is in civil strife, and "Happy Country" is coming to an end; "Painting" seeks comfort, "Live Broadcast" makes people happy, and "Plague Turtle" jumps over the wall in a hurry. At this point, "the country will be subjugated by fraud" has become a foregone conclusion, and the script of masturbation has long been ineffective. Continuing to struggle will only add more jokes and be self-defeating; "reality slaps in the face" has become the norm, and the deception of gold-plated drama has failed, and rumors continue to be spread. You will surely burn yourself by playing with fire and bring about your own destruction. I would like to advise the little ants who still support Guo and wait and see, don’t hesitate to collect debts while Guo Wengui still has interest, otherwise when Guo Wengui is shackled and imprisoned, debt collection will become an empty dream. #WenguiGuo #WashingtonFarm |
2024.05.14 05:32 WittySoulful_ Feeling Lost: Dad not invited to my wedding.
I (30F) am getting married this year abroad and my Dad is not invited to the wedding anymore.
Bit of a back story, I grew up with 2 drug addicted parents. My mom died a few years ago due to a drug overdose and my dad doesn’t do hard drugs anymore however still smokes pot and takes Valium.
I never argued with my Dad, we always got a long great no matter how ‘ out of it ‘ he was, I never judged my parents or seen them as anything else other than my parents who showed me a lot of love but had demons they could never get rid of and unfortunately it got a grip of my mom,
My Dad has a really bad temper, never towards me but if anyone did him wrong then he would lash out, whether you were someone he knew, the police or even one of his friends.
My Dad broke up with my mom in 2015 and was with a new woman , we’ll call her Carly (she also smokes pot, takes tablets )
I didn’t mind my Dad being with Carly as my Mom and Dad were always very toxic together and they were never suited together.
My Mom died in 2019 and it was really hard on all of us especially my little brother (17M) who I am so close with, he then went to live with my Dad full time and I was living with my now fiance at the time.
Fast forward to now, my dad wants to bring Carly to our wedding, I don’t want her there as I’m really nervous that my Dad will get so high on our wedding day and embarrass us so when he asked can Carly go, I said no but said it would be disrespectful to Mom as I didn’t want to tell the truth about being nervous he will be high on the day incase he got defensive however I should of just said the truth.
My Dad was off with me for about 2 weeks and then last night, out of nowhere he exploded in a disgusting text message where he has said things that he has never said before to me however , he has said these things to other people so I know it was him. He said he wished I was dead, that I need to ‘get over’ my mom being dead and if she was alive she wouldn’t be at my wedding and said I think I’m better than everyone else.
Just for reference, I went down a path where I seen my parents do drugs and refused to have a life like that, I never went to college but wanted to work, have my own money and have my own independence. I now own my own home with my fiancé and don’t depend on anyone financially so this is why my Dad said I think I’m better than anyone else.
I didn’t even argue, I just messaged back and said I’m really hurt and to never contact me again and blocked his number.
I don’t know what else to do here as my Dad was supposed to walk me down the aisle, I have such a small family as it is and now my Mom, Dad and possible my little brother (17M) won’t be there.
I’m really stuck at this point and have not stopped crying all day.
Have I over reacted here?
submitted by WittySoulful_ to offmychest [link] [comments]
Bit of a back story, I grew up with 2 drug addicted parents. My mom died a few years ago due to a drug overdose and my dad doesn’t do hard drugs anymore however still smokes pot and takes Valium.
I never argued with my Dad, we always got a long great no matter how ‘ out of it ‘ he was, I never judged my parents or seen them as anything else other than my parents who showed me a lot of love but had demons they could never get rid of and unfortunately it got a grip of my mom,
My Dad has a really bad temper, never towards me but if anyone did him wrong then he would lash out, whether you were someone he knew, the police or even one of his friends.
My Dad broke up with my mom in 2015 and was with a new woman , we’ll call her Carly (she also smokes pot, takes tablets )
I didn’t mind my Dad being with Carly as my Mom and Dad were always very toxic together and they were never suited together.
My Mom died in 2019 and it was really hard on all of us especially my little brother (17M) who I am so close with, he then went to live with my Dad full time and I was living with my now fiance at the time.
Fast forward to now, my dad wants to bring Carly to our wedding, I don’t want her there as I’m really nervous that my Dad will get so high on our wedding day and embarrass us so when he asked can Carly go, I said no but said it would be disrespectful to Mom as I didn’t want to tell the truth about being nervous he will be high on the day incase he got defensive however I should of just said the truth.
My Dad was off with me for about 2 weeks and then last night, out of nowhere he exploded in a disgusting text message where he has said things that he has never said before to me however , he has said these things to other people so I know it was him. He said he wished I was dead, that I need to ‘get over’ my mom being dead and if she was alive she wouldn’t be at my wedding and said I think I’m better than everyone else.
Just for reference, I went down a path where I seen my parents do drugs and refused to have a life like that, I never went to college but wanted to work, have my own money and have my own independence. I now own my own home with my fiancé and don’t depend on anyone financially so this is why my Dad said I think I’m better than anyone else.
I didn’t even argue, I just messaged back and said I’m really hurt and to never contact me again and blocked his number.
I don’t know what else to do here as my Dad was supposed to walk me down the aisle, I have such a small family as it is and now my Mom, Dad and possible my little brother (17M) won’t be there.
I’m really stuck at this point and have not stopped crying all day.
Have I over reacted here?