Character reference letter green card

Green Dawn Global Takeover

2012.09.25 02:55 Kvothe24 Green Dawn Global Takeover

A mission to spread the great green word across the land. Place your troops in public places and post here. Over!
[link]


2008.07.27 10:22 /r/cosplay: is for cosplayers or their photographers to post their work.

/cosplay: is a community where Cosplayers of all ages, and talent levels can post their work. Rules are strictly enforced , no NSFW, advertising, or pay sites of any kind. See rules before posting, violators are banned.
[link]


2014.11.10 11:00 grim_rhapsody Color Pie Philosophy

Fuck spez! While we are not currently private, we might become private again, so the Discord link is discord.gg/CjrcSBE. This subreddit is about the philosophy of the MtG color pie, rather than anything mechanical about it. If you are taking that Human Values test, flair it Trend.
[link]


2024.05.15 22:48 mrhardy12 Looking for well-written horror.

Title, mostly. I love horror and general feeling of dread (prefer things like Ju-On: The Grudge and The Ring to Friday the 13th; mysteries and pervasive threats over slashers), and I'm looking for books that help scratch that itch. Preferably ones that are enticing and engaging, drawing the reader into the world at large. Creepy atmospheres, disturbing imagery, distorted creatures, etc.
For the most part, I've just been doing fantasy or sci-fi lately. The books I've enjoyed most in my life are mostly magic and sorcery, though not every one is my cup of tea. The works of R. A. Salvatore come across as dull and unengaging; repetitive descriptions and constant jarring scene changes made it difficult to get through even the first two books of the Dark Elf Trilogy before I dropped the series completely.
The authors I have loved in the past (only the latter two are even remotely recent): Rick Riordan's Olympians, Rowling's Harry Potter, Jim Butcher's Dresden Files, and Brandon Sanderson's Skyward. I'm just looking for something that draws me into the world and characters as much as those did with good writing and engaging stories, only a bit darker and spookier. I'm very green in the world of books and would appreciate any suggestions!
submitted by mrhardy12 to booksuggestions [link] [comments]


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submitted by RudeExpression9567 to u/RudeExpression9567 [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:47 Wolvaroo Currency Conversions

Was considering paying up for Doot today and noticed I would save about $8 Canadian per large green gem pack by buying directly off the web version than through Steam or Android stores. The web version price is pretty much the direct currency converted from USD and my credit card has no conversion fees. $61.xx vs $68.xx, it adds up fast, could have probably saved $100 if I had bought all the packs on Web.
submitted by Wolvaroo to idleon [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:47 EmotionalSimsplayer Husband 100% Believes I Conspired Against Him and Cheated and I Didn’t

T/w: suicide
I feel like my marriage is in crisis and my husband does not want to do counseling because he doesn’t want a third party involved in our marriage.
Married 10 years with 2 school aged children. 2 months ago my husband came home with a long letter saying that I made him want to kill himself. It was a long list of complaints about me, some that I never heard before, some that I knew about, like that I am boring in bed, he doesn’t like the neighborhood we live in, he doesnt like how I plan too many vacations or things with the kids, I stress him out, that I was too sad over a miscarriage 2 years ago, he hates our cat, our kids are spoiled, things like that. He looked like he was very very very tired and like he had been out drinking all night or something but he had just gone to work and then the gym. He didn’t smell like alcohol but he just looked rough. He had never ever done anything like this before and things that week at home were totally normal. He has been blowing up more and angrier but otherwise things have been like they always have been.
I am a nurse and before we were married used to work in a psych hospital. My husband (Jake) always used to accuse me of having a thing for one of the doctors there (Brian). Brian and I would text outside of work, usually things like memes about our job. It was never in the slightest romantic and he talks to everyone he works with. He is very extroverted and kind of gossipy. Brian since married and had a baby and Jake and I know his wife and kid. I have told Jake many times there was nothing to worry about and got a new job in a clinic where I didn’t see Brian any more. After that we would send Christmas cards and things and sometimes Brian would text me things going on at the hospital like when another nurse’s spouse died . Again, nothing romantic. I know i probably should have stopped replying to him because it made Jake uncomfortable but I didn’t because I considered Brian a friend and thought Brian was harmless.
Well, this is where I f*** up. First I really should have stopped talking to Brian. But, when I got this letter from Jake and he came home in distress I didn’t know what to do and called Brian because he is the only psych I know and I thought he could tell me what I need to do. Brian then told me it was a very dangerous situation and he called the authorities and they put Jake in a hold. I will mention one thing is Brian knows Jake is really into guns and has a large gun collection so that may have been why he thought it was so dangerous.
They let Jake out 72 hours later with some new meds and now he is furious with me. He has been saying that Brian and I were “setting him up” and having an affair. I have begged and pleaded to get him to understand I called him because I thought he would help but he does not believe me. He has also accused me of talking to divorce lawyers since October 2022. I don’t know where he got that date because it is so specific and I have never contacted any divorce lawyer.
I completely cut off Brian and blocked him on social media and text and told him I was not happy with him for calling 911 and that is not why I called. Some other old coworkers have reached out to try to talk to me about it and I blocked them too.
My in laws are now telling Jake to leave me because I got him locked up and am a cheater. But Jake has told them he’s not leaving me.
I’m not sure what to do. I have tried to give Jake access to my computer so he can see there’s no divorce lawyers in my email and phone so he can see all of my texts with Brian. I have told Jake I want to work with a counselor on all of the things he is upset about especially being bad in bed and I started seeing a sex therapist and pelvic floor specialist. But Jake does not want to do counseling with me because he doesn’t want anyone else involved. And he is 100% convinced that I was cheating and talking to divorce lawyers. Every time we talk about it he says that the hold was all my fault and that I am a cheater and betrayed him.
I really love him and I know I made a huge mistake in how I handled that situation. Everything was going so well up until this night and we have two great kids. Is there anything I can do to get him to believe me that I was just trying to help him and didn’t mean to get him locked up? Is there any coming back from this?
submitted by EmotionalSimsplayer to Marriage [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:47 Blueoriontiger [TOMT][Book][Sci-fi][70s-90s] Paperback YA Novel With Zip-a-Zing Aliens

I read this in a US public library in the early 2000s, and have not been able to find details on the book. Any help is appreciated.
I hope that's enough to help give a clue of what this may have been. Thanks in advance, let me know if you have any questions.
submitted by Blueoriontiger to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:44 shaneka69 LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024

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libra horoscope 9 october
submitted by shaneka69 to mytarotreadings [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:42 judechief Green Card Through Grandma?

Hear me out. I’ve been trying to research this but I can’t find any helpful sources, let me give some background information.
Here’s our scenario:
-I’m 18 years old (only recently turned)
-I’m in the US currently on a student visa (for college)
-After spending some time here I realized that I want to stay
-My grandma is a US citizen
-My mom is above 21 and married
-I’m from Jordan, a country with a relatively small population compared to other countries (which I think means less backlog)
So what if my grandma petitioned for my mom, would she be able to petition for me as a dependent since I’m under 21? Well my primary question would be, if she does petition for me would I age out and not be eligible as a dependent anymore as soon as I turn 21 or will my age be “frozen” somehow? I was thinking since I would already be in the US on a student visa I could eventually get on AOS if I can make it in time and keep extending my stay (college, OPT, masters, phd etc.)
Thank you for your time and I appreciate any replies, if you could link me any sources or websites related to this it would be awesome and please do let me know if this is something I should consult an attorney about rather than asking on the internet.
submitted by judechief to immigration [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:42 AdrianM1996 Type me

I always got INTP or ISTP on those free tests but I’m not sure.
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
I am a 27 years old trans man. I have been socially transitioning for nearly 4 years and medically transitioning for 7 months. I’ve uprooted my life in more ways than one and it’s by far been one of the best decisions I’ve made.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
I have been struggling with depression and anxiety on and off since my adolescence and probably have ADHD or autism as well.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
I’m an only child. My mum’s always been something of a fire-cracker and has struggled with alcoholism and emotional abuse from her mum. She always had very high expectations of me and she’s probably part of the reason why I have such unreasonable expectations for myself. My dad is a lot more chill even if he doesn’t get me 100 percent of the time. Ultimately, I think they tried their best. My parents aren’t particularly religious but I went to a Catholic school until I was nine. I never really bought into it and it was a relatively chill school but it probably affected me in some way.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
I honestly haven’t been able to hold down a stable job at all. After getting a pretty useless degree, my jobs have all been crappy and short-lived and I never really figured out what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to be a writer or an artist but I have a near permanent case of creative burnout. I’m a part-time zookeeping student right now.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
It depends. If I’ve had a busy week I’ll welcome the peace and quiet. If things have been quiet I’ll get bored and a bit lonely.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I have a mixture of indoor and outdoor hobbies. I like gaming, especially RPGs, builders, and dumb shooters. I also enjoy card games and board games and I’ve recently started picking up chess. I like watching movies and anime, particularly horror and action. I used to read a lot of fiction but I find myself too distracted these days. If I do read it’s usually nonfiction about a topic I’m interested in or academic works.
In terms of outdoor hobbies, I’m only just opening up to them as I’ve been a particularly notorious shut-in for a lot of my life. I enjoy nature walks, working out, bouldering, gardening, and swimming. I’m not amazing at sports but I wouldn’t say I’m completely useless either. I prefer more solitary activities to team based ones. I have a bit of a competitive streak and exercise helps keep it in check.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
Very curious. I usually have a couple of ideas on the go but I wouldn’t say I’m overflowing with them. My curiosities are usually about the natural world, video game lore, and new hobbies I may want to take up.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I could be an okay leader if no one else was able to take up the position but I would be anxious about the responsibility and expectations others have of me. I’d like to think I’m firm but fair.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
I’m okay. I can match other people’s movements quite well. I can get a little bit careless and clumsy when I’m distracted or anxious though.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
Back when I used to draw, I drew a lot of tattoo designs and illustrations. Like something you’d find on an album cover or a book cover. I also drew many of the creatures and characters I wrote about. I’m have an eye for colour and I am drawn to art-deco and art-nouveau aesthetics.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
The past, while not always easy to revisit due to fuzzy memories or trauma, has led me to this very moment. I try to take every day as it comes and that has helped me a lot. I am nervous for the future as I have few concrete plans and life may throw me a curve ball. But I am also excited to see what has in store for me.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
It depends who’s asking and what they want help with.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
Absolutely.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
Efficiency is pretty good. Work smarter, not harder and all that. Productivity less so. I’m just happy when I get things done.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
Not really. Unless they are negatively impacting me or other people I prefer to leave people to their own devices.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
Pretty sure I already answered this question.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I’m a visual and hands-on learner. I suck at internalising verbal instruction. I despise overly rigid learning environments so I struggled a lot in school. I enjoy learning at my own pace and by going out and doing things first-hand.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
Improvise but I try to make a basic structure that I may or may not deviate from.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
To be the best version of myself I can be and live the most fulfilling and rich life I can.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
My two biggest fears are quite abstract and they are being aimless and being trapped. I’m also mildly agoraphobic and afraid of wasps. I hate wilful ignorance and bigotry, especially when those things actively make the world a worse place for everyone.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
I feel alive, happy, and a zest for life. I feel like I’m running on a motor and that I can do anything I want.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
When I feel low, I get in a funk and it’s very hard to get out. I literally find it impossible to relax unless someone is there to get me out of my head. If I’m not careful I can get isolated. And that’s when I start to spiral.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
Sometimes I let my mind wander, particularly when I’m listening to music. It doesn’t take much to bring me back to reality though.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
I’d probably go a bit mad and try to devise an escape plan.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
I like to take my time to weigh out the pros and cons. I make stupid decisions when I’m rushed. I may change my mind if circumstances change and it’s not going to inconvenience me too much.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
A long time. My emotions are a mess and I barely know what I am feeling half the time. Journaling has helped me make sense of them and processing them to a degree.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
Not really. I either stay quiet or try to disagree with them in a productive way depending on how bold I’m feeling at the time.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
I follow rules if they are there for a good reason. Like waiting in line. If they’re stupid rules I have less qualms about breaking them.
submitted by AdrianM1996 to MbtiTypeMe [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:42 ragersvillemisty Ok what just happened?

So I have an nRewards starter card and it just changed to a green cash rewards card online even though I didn't put in an application for one. Should I freeze the card?
submitted by ragersvillemisty to NavyFederal [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:41 judechief Green Card Through Grandma

Hear me out. I’ve been trying to research this but I can’t find any helpful sources, let me give some background information.
Here’s our scenario:
-I’m 18 years old (only recently turned)
-I’m in the US currently on a student visa (for college)
-After spending some time here I realized that I want to stay
-My grandma is a US citizen
-My mom is above 21 and married
-I’m from Jordan, a country with a relatively small population compared to other countries (which I think means less backlog)
So what if my grandma petitioned for my mom, would she be able to petition for me as a dependent since I’m under 21? Well my primary question would be, if she does petition for me would I age out and not be eligible as a dependent anymore as soon as I turn 21 or will my age be “frozen” somehow? I was thinking since I would already be in the US on a student visa I could eventually get on AOS if I can make it in time and keep extending my stay (college, OPT, masters, phd etc.)
Thank you for your time and I appreciate any replies, if you could link me any sources or websites related to this it would be awesome and please do let me know if this is something I should consult an attorney about rather than asking on the internet.
submitted by judechief to USCIS [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:41 Ewad88 [WTS] Reaver Citadel, Hovin Hooligan PRICE DROPS

Repost with reduced prices. Yolo in the comments trumps chat requests but feel free to ask questions. Shipping is USPS priority fully insured to CONUS addresses only. Will ship next business day. No trades considered on these. Payment via PPFF or Zelle only.
Updated TIMESTAMP
Glenn Are Hovin Hooligan - 3.6" blade, 8.4" overall. Damacore hollow ground flipper, double slight recurves on both edges w/ requested sharpening choil. Damasteel clip, timascus backspacer, engine turned titanium linerlock and custom pivots, finished with black dunes CF scales. I have misplaced the pivot tool in the move and will eventually find it I'm sure and send it to a new owner free of charge. Spanner bits will do in the meantime to tune the pivot. Original owner, custom build directly from Glenn in Norway. Beautifully finished mirror polished blade with a nice deep etch in contrast. Lockup solid at 20% no play in any direction. Blade centering favors show side slightly as pictured. Great knife, Glenn is a great guy just need to move it along. Comes w/ hard case, cloth, and card no COA, build is from 2021. Like new never diassembled, carried, or sharpened. SV 1150 ->>>> SV 950
Reaver Arms Citadel #512 - Custom order when he was taking requests last year. Full zirc body and clip, oil slicked finish. Lots of greens, purples, orange in different lights at a high polish. Dragon driver V3, red secondary lights, and 4000k main LED with a ton of programmability built in. Comes with 3 e-fest 16340 batteries, hard case, envelope with COA, driver info, sticker. Has gone with me to check the mail a few times but mostly sat on my desk no scratches or scuffs that I can see just gotta wipe it down from time to time to return the shine of the zirc. Threads are nicely machined and grooves of the body halves line up easily and perfectly every time a battery swap is needed. 1800 new last year, I'm asking SV 1000 ->>>> SV 850
Thanks for looking feel free to shoot me a message for more info, offers, just no trades sorry. Cheers!
submitted by Ewad88 to Knife_Swap [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:41 AristoDeity I won’t show up on any form of record check - please help

I know this is weird, but since I was young I haven’t shown up on any form of people finder sites or background checks. I don’t show up on google, even when typing in my instagram user name, or Facebook name. When I check my family, just to see if i can find myself through them, it doesn’t list me as related. I can find my mom, dad (who isn’t even alive anymore), all of my sisters and brothers, and relatives that have 0 online presence, I can even find relatives that are related to us by less than 1% DNA. All these are listed as “related people” yet I’m not. My mom has my sisters new husband listed under her relations, but not me. My sister shows up, and she’s only 3 years older than me, weirdly enough she doesn’t agree with working and doesn’t have a corporate or “on the books” job, but she shows up. People who are younger than me show, but I don’t.
I can’t figure it out for the life of me and it’s causing quite the headache, I thought I’d show up after becoming a more established adult, but that isn’t the case. I have credit cards, social medias, bank accounts, a social, a state ID and license. I have medical history too, so there’s no doubt in my mind that I HAVE to be in some sort of database, but why don’t I show up?
Absolutely any ideas, guesses or speculations are welcome. My brain is at a point where I can’t think of anything that seems like it could actually happen. I just don’t understand why I’m not listed as related to my family
EDITED TO CLARIFY: I have been working full time since I was 16, all jobs with my social security, that I’ve gotten state taxes from. I’ve invested in crypto and stocks, I have most social medias right now, my identity did get stolen when I was younger, and the IRS knew exactly where to find me despite the address being less than a week old at the time I received the letter letting me know. So I’m lost- I have just about the same presence as anyone else, the IRS knows me and where I live at all times, but a background check or people search won’t show that. Also I’m 23 for reference
submitted by AristoDeity to BackgroundCheckGuide [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:40 OriginalSprinkles718 [PS5/PS4] List of 100+ mods with correct LOAD ORDER - Difficult and satisfying survival challenge.

[PS5/PS4] List of 100+ mods with correct LOAD ORDER - Difficult and satisfying survival challenge.

PLEASE READ THE WHOLE POST.

This took weeks of picking and testing mods
Played on PS5, should work on PS4
Order is stable, no crashes
New game on survival difficulty required
All 6 DLCs needed
No unbalanced cheat mods added
Very difficult but satisfying and immersive
Adding other mods will break stuff, ask in comments
Not tested on PS4 or PS4 Pro performance-wise

OVERVIEW

This modlist is for people enjoying difficult challenge, exploration, combat, managing settlements and a bit of building. No more bullet sponges, loot/enemy respawns and rambo playstyle!
In the beginning you are no one. You leave the vault weak, tired, with barely any gear. Avoid most encounters and quests at the start. Try to survive, build a safe spot and carefully explore. Be aware of your surroundings, use what you find.
Saving often in beds and making 'autosave drug' at the earliest possibility is a good idea (nearest chemistry workbench is at Abernathy Farm). Save menu is always on top of MISC category in Pip-Boy.
Discovering new places gives plenty of exp in the beginning, but quests are your main exp income.
Exploring safer areas like Sanctuary, Concord and smaller settlements first (avoiding powerful enemies) recommended. There might be a lot of combat in the background. Don't engage much, especially avoid supermutants, robots, turrets, bears - they are deadly even for high level, well developed characters. Raiders also hit hard, depending on their weapon and rank.
Weapon caliber makes huge damage difference. 10mm is pretty weak, but if you find rare .50cal rounds or some good explosives, you should eliminate tougher targets much more easily.
Investing in stats right after level 15 is a good idea. STR for carry weight, PER for accuracy, END for health, CHA for better prices, INT for more exp, AGI for sneak and speed, LCK for dmg and loot. Be sure of your choices. Watch out for 'revealing all map markers' and 'slow time when aiming' perks. Be sure you want and like them, there is no going back.
Deathclaw in the early minuteman quest is tough - try to use explosives to break his legs and some high caliber weapons to finish him off by shooting his face. Or maybe you'll get lucky and raiders will kill him. Or just simply avoid him until you get proper gear.
Don't waste ammo on zombies, use melee. Bullets are valuable. However zombies can grab and instantly kill you if your HP is very low, so watch out on low, early levels!
Aim for the head for much higher damage. Concentrating damage on arms or legs to rip them off is a good strategy too. Raider without arms wont do much to you except running around and alerting nearby enemies, that is.
Damage types are important. Ballistic damage is not efficient against turrets, melee against radroaches and so on. You need to figure out yourself whats best strategy.
Develop and protect your settlements, put walls to protect generators and other important structures. Repairing is costly. Gear up settlers. Scraping and cleaning settlements is a good early source of components.
Try to fully explore the map, kill enemies and do all quests. Most loot and enemies wont ever respawn so this is your chance to find new secrets in Commonwealth and clear the place.

========== CHANGES ==========

Combat, Enemies

  • Enemies will flank, charge, take cover, run in fear, use and pick up ammo & weapons, swap to backup gun and so on.
  • Headshots or weakspot hits do much higher damage than torso shots.
  • Gun caliber greatly affects damage, explosives are powerful and damage type matters.
  • Foes have special moves like biting and holding leg, wrestling moves, kicks. Dependent on enemy type and briefly stuns you.

Sound, Graphic

  • Sounds are less flat because of added reverb and other tweaks.
  • Very dark nights with wide, helpful flashlight.
  • Atmospheric lightning: beautiful light from lantern and fire sources, dusk, dawn, moon, plus bullets illuminate environment when flying around.
  • No dreadful, annoying, unimmersive: combat music, hearthbeat, sounds of generators, turrets, exp gain sound, most perk triggers and perk chart.

Crafting, Modifying

  • Making/disasembling ammo and also creating various shipments. Upgrading clothes, rings, glasses in different ways.
  • Legendary swapping, crafting legendary effects using technical documents. Some effects have been adjusted.
  • Added crafting of new, lower damage explosives, but they have unique effects for ease of use.

Perks, SPECIAL

  • STR affects carry weight, PER accuracy, END is health, max AP, CHA for better prices, INT for more exp, AGI for sneak, walk and reload speed, LCK for small dmg boost, loot, critical hits outside VATS and while using it.
  • Leveling up does not give you health. You rely on stats, bonuses, gear.
  • Perks tree mostly changed, level 15 needed to start increasing Special base stats, level of around 100 to increase stat to 10. To get all perks you would need 300 levels, so new modified 'idiot savant' will help a lot.
  • Collecting magazines, bobbleheads, companion perks is now more helpful and recommended.
  • Some skills are changed, reordered, much more interesting and useful.
  • More perks are needed for crafting, especially science perk is required for most technology related stuff.
  • Lockpicking everything is available instantly from level one, but perks and AGI make it reasonably easier. Bobby pins are more rare.
  • Hacking is simplified to not do the repeating minigame. Now holotapes to reprogram and override terminals might be of use.

Settlements, Building

  • Expensive build costs of robot workbenches, turrets, big generators, so buying component shipments is justified.
  • You can hire guards for caps or risk settlers lives on the usual guard posts.
  • Can't harvest planted fruit and veg, you get your fair share in workbench instead.
  • Collecting resources by settlers changed. Bigger variety of settlers and they are now mortal.
  • More objects to build and decorate your bases.

Locations, Loot

  • Items like meds and ammo are harder to find and exist in appropriate containers.
  • New map markers and few minuteman towers as a small addition to explore.
  • Quick travel available, but only to settlements.
  • Only rare enemies like bosses drop legendaries. And many more...

Before you download:

  • Safe to remove/swap mods are listed below the modlist, just in case you don't like or want some of them. Rest needs to be kept for balance or glitch removal, but only in the CORRECT ORDER!
  • Remove all mods you currently have before downloading this mod list.
  • Read what to do after downloading mods.

MOD LIST WITH CORECT ORDER:

  1. Unofficial Fallout 4 Patch [UFO4P] [PS4] - Thousands of small bug fixes for FO4.
  2. Radium Rifle Suppressed Sound Fix - As the mod name suggests. Must be on top of mod list, its a master file.
  3. [PS4] Pip-Boy Paint Jobs - Colors Of The Wasteland Pack (Club Freedom) - Adds simple Pip-Boy skins. Remember you can click touchpad while using pip-boy to zoom. Again a master file.
  4. Kane's Items Sorting (PS4) - Junk is sorted and some other things too.
  5. [PS] Useful Technical Documents - Legendaries - You can swap legendaries for free, create new ones using technical documents.
  6. Named NPC Protection [PS4] - Protects named quest npc's, merchants, important characters from random encounters with enemies.
  7. Tribals of Commonwealth - Adds tribal groups, often found in wilderness.
  8. Ghouls Of Commonwealth - Adds over 1100 feral ghouls for zombie apocalypse and chaos.
  9. DLC Creatures In The Commonwealth [PS4] - Adds 200 creature spawns to the commonwealth for constant war, danger and chaos.
  10. Longhorns Of The Commonwealth - Adds longhorns to more empty areas on the map.
  11. Gulpers Of The Commonwealth - Adds gulpers to more empty areas on the map.
  12. Wolves Of The Commonwealth - Adds wolf spawn points to the map.
  13. More Behemoths In Commonwealth - Adds 5 more behemots to the Commonwealth.
  14. Behind Enemy Lines - Adds plenty of enemies to the glowing sea region.
  15. Roving War Parties, Raiding Packs And Hordes Of MY - Adds wandering groups that attack some key locations.
  16. More Radstags - Adds plenty of radstags, especially north and into forests.
  17. Better Radstags - More agressive radstags.
  18. Not a Princess - Humans can grab you/others and slam on the ground, make karate moves, dogs can hold your legs/arms, bloodbugs suck your blood.
  19. Disable Minutemen's Annoying Quests [PS4] - Disables 7 types of repetitive and not important radiant quests.
  20. [PS4] Grounded Updated By Sarinia - Adds tons of ground foundations, floors, walls, mounds of dirt to Structures-Concrete menu.
  21. Miscellaneous Settlement Items Unlocked [PS4] By Callias - Adds 49 objects for building in settlements.
  22. Cinder Block Walls And Sandbags Unlocked [PS4] By Callias - Adds 16 objects like cinder blocks and sandbags.
  23. Constructible Faction Guards - Adds ability to hire guards for caps in build menu, but only after allying with a faction.
  24. [PS4] OCDecorator - Adds inventory items as a decorational building objects.
  25. [PS4] OCDecorator DLC - Support for addons for the above mod.
  26. Tweaks - Survival Fast Travel Settlements All DLC - You can fast travel to settlements on survival difficulty.
  27. 1st Person Animation Tweaks [PS4] - In first person mode you lower your gun automatically.
  28. [PS4] Swinging Animated Meat Bags - Adds animations to supermutant meat bags.
  29. Power Line Physics [PS4] - Swinging power lines in settlements.
  30. No Sneak Indicators - Completely removes all sneak indicators.
  31. [PS4] Dogs Not Brahmin - Provisioners and traders use dogs instead of brahmin.
  32. Vertibirds Unghosted - Tweaks invincible vertibirds for danger and realism.
  33. [PS4] Simple Settlers (Mortal Edition) - Provides bigger settlers pool (five times more) and names them.
  34. Quieter Settlements PS4 - Vanilla - Generators, turrets and hammering are much quieter.
  35. Fallout 76-Style Region Music - Changes music in regions for less boring/repetitive background tracks.
  36. Reverb And Ambiance Overhaul - ALL DLC [PS4] - Tweaks sounds for better ambient and reverb and adds sliders to options.
  37. Better Dialogue - Camera focuses on NPC, changes made to some irritating generic dialogues and tweaked dialogue interuption.
  38. Esk QuietPerks [PS4] - Muted five annoying perks like idiot savant.
  39. No Experience SFX - Silences sounds when gaining experience from various sources.
  40. [PS4] Dead Beat - Removes heart beat sound at low HP.
  41. Combat Music Remover - Mutes combat music, so there is silence and suspension when enemy detects you.
  42. Commonwealth Visual Overhaul & DLC [PS4] - Changes colours, atmosphere and makes nights darker.
  43. UCW - Unified Commonwealth Weather - Adjusted weather for regions and integrated DLC weather for Commonwealth.
  44. [PS4] No More Fake Puddles - Removes ugly puddles that stay 24/7.
  45. No More Twigs - Removes stupid twigs sticking out of the ground.
  46. [PS4] Enhanced Flickering Firelight - Better light effects for fire sources including oil lamps.
  47. [PS4] Dark Mode - Abandoned Settlements - Empty settlements don't have light sources.
  48. Vanilla Moon (4x) - Much bigger moon. Anything bigger looks low quality.
  49. Sunlight Alignment Tweak - Better Dawn And Dusk [PS4] - Changes sun and moon movement for better lighting and atmosphere during dusk, dawn and night.
  50. Crafting Blur Removal (PS4) - Removes blur while looting containers, from crafting screen, power armor.
  51. Ironsight Blur Removal (PS4) - Removes blur while aiming.
  52. More Map Markers (PS4) - Adds some new markers on map.
  53. CleanVATS - Green Tint Remover PS4 - Removes fullscreen green tint effect while aiming in VATS mode.
  54. VATS Third Person Only - As the name says, just changes in cameras used in VATS.
  55. [PS4] Payneful VATS - Better VATS cinematics, shows important hits and finishers a bit slower.
  56. Component Tagging Helper - Allows to easily tag basic components on cooking bench and you can quickly view how many you have in total.
  57. Grenade and Mine Pack - Adds some new weaker, but modified explosives.
  58. Saving Survival Mode - Allows crafting misc items on chemistry workbench for anytime saving (3 standard autosave slots and 1 save shared/overwritten on all survival characters).
  59. Animations Be Gone - Removes plenty annoying hammering spots in sanctuary.
  60. Minuteman Watchtowers - Adds 8 minuteman watchtowers containing loot and/or guards.
  61. Power Goggles (All DLC) - Power Armor Mods For Goggles, Visors, And Glasses - As the name says. Two mods for glasses for high level characters.
  62. Clothes For Every Stats Wz - Most clothes can be worn under armor and you can upgrade them after unlocking ballistic weave.
  63. Bear Trap and Caltrops Fix [PS4] - Small changes in how traps work and balance them.
  64. See-Through-Scopes [PS4] - Adds new combat scopes in place of 2.5x and 4x magnification.
  65. See-Through-Scopes - Nuka World [PS4] - As above but for 2 Nuka World guns.
  66. See-Through-Scopes - Far Harbor [PS4] - As above but for 2 Far Harbor weapons.
  67. Targeting Sensors On Recon Scopes(Colour Coded NPCs Version)[PS4] - Modified recon scopes that highlight enemies, friends and dead bodies in specific colours.
  68. Immersive Gameplay Combat Mostly PS4 - Core of this modlist. Hundreds of changes.
  69. Immersive-Gameplay. Low Tech, No Powerarmor Justification Patch. (PS4) - Makes fusion cores worn. Balances the game around power armor.
  70. Immersive Gameplay Seasonpass Patch (Playstation) - DLC compatibility for IG.
  71. Immersive Gameplay Rough Start (PS4) - Overwrites starting level to 1.
  72. Medium Settlement Raids PS4 - Makes enemy raids less ridicolous and balanced.
  73. Zombie Walkers (PS4) - Most feral ghouls act like slow rotten zombies.
  74. Curse Of Darkness - Normal Edition - - Zombies are faster and more dangerous after midnight.
  75. Esk No More Teleporting Creatures [PS4] - Molerats and radscorpions don't teleport.
  76. Realistic Insects Health [PS4] - Makes insects easier to kill and balanced.
  77. Full Load - Loot Logic And Reduction Complete - Restricted harvest, lower and/or different production output for settlements, empty bottles renamed, Scrounger perk less ammo, less meat, less loot.
  78. Full Load - Rough Start Less Handouts - Removed some workbenches in starting locations. Different loot in Vault111.
  79. Immersive Gameplay Dismemberment - A Patch Or Standalone Feature. - Higher damage to headshots, easier to dismember limbs.
  80. Tackle! Immersive Gameplay Knockdown Version - Lets you stagger enemies by sprinting into them after aquiring a perk.
  81. Wasteland Baubles Ring Overhaul! PS4 - You can find unique rings at traders, in suitcases, cabinets. Allows scraping and modifying rings for special legendary effects.
  82. [PS4] STS - All-In-One - Allows scraping almost all settlement objects.
  83. (PS4) Improved Lighting Ballistics - Improves lighting for projectiles such as bullets, lasers, gauss, plasma, missiles, flares and explosions.
  84. Explorer Restored - Cut Perk Mod PS4 - Adds rank two of VANS perk - explorer. Uncovers map.
  85. Idiot Savant & Better Criticals Redone (PS4) - Idiot savant is better the more INT you have, muted perk chart, better criticals perk for crits outside VATS.
  86. Realistic Death Physics - No Animation - ALL DLC [PS4] - Decreases the amount of force of both melee and ranged attacks, so bodies wont fly away.
  87. Increased Settler Limit - Awareness - Wire Length - Corpse Collisions [PS4] - More aware settlers with limit of 50 per settlement and longer wires. Mind the limit.
  88. Settlement Attack Spawns Outside The Settlement PS4 - Moves attack spawns outside the settlements.
  89. Power Conduits Radius Increase And No Build Limit - All DLC [PS4] - Infinite build limit and two times longer range electricity conduits.
  90. [PS4] Creation Club Skins (Weapon & PipBoy) Generic Compatibility Patch - Makes weapon paints from Creation Club show up in crafting menu if you have any.
  91. No Affinity Cooldown - Removes cooldown between companions liking/hating your actions.
  92. [PS4]More XP Per Level (Base:600, Bump 120) - Increased experience required to level up.
  93. Increased EXP - Increases the amount of EXP gained to make Immersive Gameplay and mod list balanced.
  94. No Building Houses XP Gains PS4 - Building settlements don't provide experience.
  95. Pip-Boy Flashlight - Pipboy light is now a flashlight.
  96. PS4 - Longer Headlamp Light - Makes flashlight much bigger and changes headlamp and power armor light.
  97. [PS4] Starting SPECIAL = 7 - Changes starting SPECIAL stats to 1 in each category so you start weak.
  98. No Enemy Respawns - Game areas don't respawn loot and enemies, after time have passed.
  99. Accelerated Fast Travel - Fast travel takes less in-game time, should be also relevant to survival needs.
  100. Time Scale Changed From 20 To 10 [PS4] - Day and night lasts twice as long.

Additionally after downloading:

  • After installing the mod list, restart your PS4/PS5.
  • Dont add or remove mods mid playthrough.
  • Change game difficulty to survival in options.
  • Play on performance 60fps. Newly added mode visual 60fps is more laggy and has awfull VATS framerate.
  • If you want even more immersive settings, go to Settings, Gameplay and turn off quest markers or crosshair.
  • Go to Options, Sound and reduce ambience level by 5-8 clicks and reverb by 2-3.
  • Dont forget to change camera sensitivity (I play on max), next go to Options, Display and change hud color to blue or any other that makes sense (not red), lower transparency by 30% or more, set pip-boy colour to your preference (I use red pip-boy and minty hud to have the best compatibility with highlighting perks and scopes).

You can add/swap some mods if you want:

101... Immortal Cats - PS4 - Invincible cats, so you don't lose happiness increase when they die. Add after mod #83 \ 102... [PS4] STS - Extras - Living & Dead - Season Pass Version - You can get extra resources from scraping dead bodies in settlements. Watch out not to scrap someone alive. Place after mod #82. \ 103... Josephine Preset - Nice looking preset number 13 for female character creation. Change hair and other details if you want. Delete after leaving vault111 and saving (if you need mod list space that is). Add after mod #55. \ 104... Faster Positive Affinity For Companions - Removes cooldown between companions liking/hating your actions and gain five times more positive affinity. Swap with mod #91 if you want more cheaty version. \ 105... Silent Main Menu - To mute main menu sound, find duplicate sound slider named 'Master sound' and move it all the way to the left. Add after mod #41. \ 106... Quieter Settlements PS4 - Contraptions DLC - Quieter production lines. I ran out of space on mod list so this and next one are optional. Add after mod #34. \ 107... Quieter Settlements PS4 - Wasteland Workshop - Quieter fusion generators. Add after mod #34. \ 108... [PS4] Simple Settlers (Immortal Edition) - Instead of #33, so generic settlers don't die during settlement attacks. \ 109... Reduced Rubble Etc. - Safely reduces density of unimportant objects by 50-75%. Add after #44 or swap with #45. \ 110... Vrexia's Magical Rings - Add after #57 only if you get poison/perception bug where your PER is shown as (-1). You can offset it by equiping multiple rings from this mod (created at chem bench). Didnt found a better way yet. \ 111... Pip-Boy Flashlight (Brighter) - For a smaller, brighter flashlight swap #96 with #95 and replace #95 with this.

Remove, if you want:

Stock, ugly Pip-Boy color - #3 \ No tinkering with legendary effects - #5 \ No powerful groups wandering and attacking places - #15 \ Radstags to be less agressive - #17 \ Dont care about building - #20 #21 #22 \ Dont care about decorating settlements - #24 #25 \ Annoying wandering brahmins instead of dogs - #31 \ Cash register sounds when gaining exp - #39 \ Old vanilla dusk and dawn lighting - #49 \ Don't use VATS much - #53 #54 #55 \ Prefer old combat scopes - #64 #65 #66 \ Don't want uncover map perk and will never unlock it - #84 \ Don't have any weapon skins from Creation Club - #90 \ Faster leveling - #92 \ To gain building EXP - #94 \ Start with 7 extra SPECIAL points to distribute - #97 \ Loot and enemies respawn after time - #98 \ Fast travel to take time - #99 \ Days be vanilla length - #100

Known issues, bugs, glitches, exploits:

Some of those are present in vanilla game. I just mention every problem encountered during testing and not fully fixed. - Ground textures in and around sanctuary flicker black. FIX: Fixes itself. Possibly after short time or reload. - Creature cages cost too much in building menu. NO FIX: Did not found a safe and balanced fix yet, so cages are most likely out of reach, because cost is absurd. - Green chest containing flare gun and 10k flares after exiting vault 111. FIX: Mod dev forgot to delete it. Ignore it or if it bothers you much, remove mod #83, which I don't recommend doing. - Hubby secret basement in Sanctuary. NO FIX: Its up to you if you want to use its content. Just easier difficulty option, but not game breaking. - Hacking rank 4 seems useless or has wrong description. NO FIX: Needs proper check. - Wall turrets sometimes glitches and play sound on repeat. FIX: Re-enter the area or reload save. - Contact frag mines seems to have too low damage. FIX: Just dont craft them. Rest of new explosives should work fine even that it shows low damage values in description. - Perception low, constant (-1) PER in stats because of poison damage/resistance bug. FIX: Add mod #110 and equip perception rings. Dont delete the mod. Cant find safer solution for now. Rings dont take equipment slots. - Action girl perk have only one rank on female character and two on male. NO FIX: Just 25% AP regen loss at high level. Not a big deal. - Bubblegum seems to unintentionally quench thirst a bit and kind vendors give it for free. NO FIX: Free candies. Its better to use them to slow down time. - Incorrect cost to build concrete foundations. FIX: Use mod #20 to add tons of foundations in newly added category Structures-Concrete. - OCDecorator replaces creation club menu. FIX: Items from CC are still available in other building categories. Ignore or delete mod #24 + #25 if you dont care about its function. - Few perk descriptions might be slightly incorrect or missing. NO FIX: Nothing important to worry about. - Three street lights, powered water pump, industrial purifier and subway light have incorrect build costs. NO FIX: These have wrong values, but items like clean sofa or tv are more expensive to build on purpose though. - Pip-boy light wont transfer from first to third person camera view. FIX: Turn flashlight off and on. - Water surface sometimes flash black when moving underwater. NO FIX: Its not very noticable and you don't dive much in FO4 anyway. - Can't use Wattz Consumer Electronics terminal, animation stops. FIX: There is a radroach behind the wall. Kill it by swinging melee, explosives or reenter area. - Flashlight in Vault111 has incorrect beam look/color. FIX: It will fix itself after mods load right after you leave Vault111, dont worry.
v1.00 - Initial version.

Have fun!

submitted by OriginalSprinkles718 to Fallout4modsps4 [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:39 Zestyclose_Charge568 Goodbye wegovy (for now😏)

Welp, my weight loss journey with wegovy will have to be paused!
I got a letter from my insurance stating I don’t meet criteria for coverage, solely because I don’t have an updated weight within the last 30 days showing a maintained 5% loss since starting🙄. I don’t see my doc until sept so I was planning on appealing with my scale app which I’ve been weighing in weekly now.
Unfortunately, I had to sack that plan as I have just had a positive pregnancy test a week later 🫣😭my doctor is gonna be so disappointed in me!🙄😣
Oh well 😮‍💨I really didn’t think I was capable of conceiving again but here we are! Wish me luck!
For reference: 40(f) 5’6” Sw 304lbs, Cw 217lbs, GW 190-210lbs
Had been on wegovy since mid March’23 On 1.7mg since July’23 ✌🏻
submitted by Zestyclose_Charge568 to WegovyWeightLoss [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:39 Still_Ad_4928 Of Hearts and Women Part-II (Book-Sample)

Not shared, nor my shade; but something to be weaved; just as the measure of disappointment became it's own solution. But I talked my way through things forbidden, just to find myself blind in bed with those who are dead. Clumsy, but altogether natural of course, because it's consciousness what you refer in the description, yet that's what we don't get a lot about. See your deeds the way you are seen, and then return to a restless place: and the question in-between sheets will be why. Well, I just can't motivate myself to work without hot bitches staring. And that's the truth. Sad but True
— Hearfelt comment for an instagram witch.
Del desprecio a ese descarte, no he visto muchas cosas. Así se pasa una más para las cuentas, y aquí otro más para los versos, por qué aquí no hemos sido vistos. Cuánto más querría uno, que sino lo cuentas ni mucho menos piensas: << lo de este pibe que cosa más horrible>>, haciendo eso lamentable, por qué en decirlo nadie ha mentido. ¡Es horrible! Que cara es entonces la cuenta de lo que le sale a uno vivir sin más complejos; mejor seria cobrarmelo, para así saber que de algo ha valido. Bloqueame.
— Heartfelt comment for a random supermodel-to-be.
The Spirit of Fire
Flames begone, flames in spite: their warmth I felt - so I closed my fist until I could feel the warmth of my blood in my hand. And in dreams Fire came up to me and said: who am I? And I said unto him: you are bound to my bidding, thus your name misery will be. But fire wretched as he was, got closer and asked: and who are you?
And I said unto him that the blood of David ran through my veins, as I was his heir; for the mother of God claim me from death as a son. So Fire tried me, and figured it out.
You are son of woman —said Fire unto me— but as Fire acknowledged the name, I extended my left hand, and took Fire by the neck throwing him into the gound. — You are going to lace yourself to the right hand of the beast, and you'll keep him steady, so I can cleanly take him down. And Fire stayed down, and with his forehead kissing the ground asked unto me —why would the heir of David do so to earthly man?
And I said unto Fire that the beast from the abyss had left no mother for God, so I was to leave none of his body left for his head; as I was going to make it bleed until the end of the end of times.
The Spirit of Earth
Shapeless and without body, but keen within her many numbers, Earth came up to me in dreams, and said: who am I? And posessed in spirit as I was, I said unto her, that God had made her maiden again, and that she shall become the coins that Judas never received, which were to become the due payment of man and women for the body of Christ. Then I extended my right hand, and grabbed Earth by her hair —which descended deep into the abysses of hell— and cut it short so the demons of Lilith would no longer had her gripped by her back.
You are now a woman, and I'm going to rise you from the grounds. You'll lace yourself to the left hand of the beast, and keep it steady so with one shot I can cleanly take him down.
The Spirit of Air
A dream shaped by written words, whispered down for years by the currents of this Montain, and it's requiem witnessed but by a few — the end of dreams. But from where I standed at the peak, I called upon the distant currents that went down, and asked them: who am I?
And Air came unto me as bird, which had thousands of letters for feathers, and in the tongue of dead men answered.
"Somebody who only a few will remember by strange deeds; as the burden on your back, is a past tainted by impossible dreams. You were a lunatic giving new names to folk, and folk never bothered to remember —so your name must be freak, as you died in a forgotten shack some short time ago."
And as Air said these things upon me, I called Misery —as I had dubbed Fire — and told him to get inside my shot. The burden as Air had said, became lesser as i took the shot from my quiver. And I said upon Misery; that he was to set ablaze this arrow, as I was taking down the bird of Britain, and that I would do so, so God would give the deeds of Earth some better names.
The Lord is making a bridge between the empire of strength, and the last empire of men. Now by God's grace, I'm making the tongue of free men, the tongue of Spain. You will be eventually bound to my bidding, and if not me, it will be to the one I'm preceding; for I'm giving you twenty years to attone your wrongdoing. Alas, now because of your wretchedness, my shot on earthly men won't be clean, for his left leg won't stay steady.
Your old name was apathy, now I'm calling you Cisma, which in the tongue of dead men means schism. So now by the will of God lay unto the ground and say the words you've been teached. And as the arrow blazed forward, it's bending motion pierced the veil hiding the secret ladder of men. The bird of Britain catched on Fire, and it's hollering resounded throught the ladders of the mountain until the depths of the abyss. A column of air turned into fire, then violenty erupted from the vowels of the bird, and the wild fire spread as a storm from west to east all throughout the five kingdoms of men away from its own fiery wings, with a gift of misery and a few words to say.
"The name of your woman or the name of your man, will no longer explain their purpose to a man, a woman, or God. Charred words written by thunder will now be the new ladder of men — but until then, darkness upon thee."
But the feathers of old words, layed on the ground, for common folk now knew by the light of the storm their meanings — and horrified, they waged war on each other, killing each other, and seeking revenge on each other. Thus the bird of Britain dragged further into the ground, screaming and flapping
The House of Water
I head into the coasts, and the beautiful beaches in-between, to find the stranger who burns images in the skin of men. He is the stranger, and has adopted the body of a monster, and he is one who cannot be understood, so he went on to only go out home in stunts, for the burdens in his heart have become too great to bear. Through terrible pains he has given all he once was for an identity, and as I pick up on his past, i found familiarity in the feelings of his heart. Oh dear friend how we found looking in sadness to ourselves, after doing same but with different means, carrying into our shoulders the loneliness of this world. As you have in-skin the garments of the strange doctrine that I preach — I shall congrate you, for you truly have fought the world entire, for my doctrine is the words of those who shall defeat the world entire.
I may not have your strangeness in-body, but I have it in these words, and in the true feelings of my heart. And I say in admiration that there's no higher form of art, philosophy or religion: than those who perform the highest thing they can give a name about.
Now even within solitude, and at odds with what old dead men call God, I see you and I found strength in you, as I can see you are within me, and in that, you are within everything as it should be - as is meant in everyone who does something that touches the heart of another man. I call this the kingdom of God. Yet blind men and women will wonder how can the kingdom of God possibly be within two outcasts such as you and me.
Upong giving my regards and waiting for response, I found my way into a bench. It was a warm afternoon, and the wind carried the water of the sea. The bird of Britain came about down from the wind of north, and layed on the bench were I was sitting.
The bird asked: why hast thou become this?
And I said back to bird, scorched he was and nearing death, that it was me someone who was supposed to give names, yet for years I couldn't figure out one for myself. Then on went to being given a name, Alas all the wrong ones. Did Adan gave himself a name? - I asked the bird back. And there was no response from bird. Then I continued.
A man has the essence of his soul retained by what he is seen doing. Yet I did things nobody saw, so my soul wasn't with God but with something just as ancient, and nonetheless unknown by men in its true nature — then Satan as the better known devil, came about and pushed me into a hole. It was my own doing. Yet the things I did, I thought were seen. But nonetheless what I did was without contemplation on a posible return. Just as somebody who prints an image on their own skin. It's permanent. This is the essence of a memory in the soul of the man who's seen by others. But in the familiarity of a man who picked every irreversible decision like the Alien, I find myself feeling sympathy, for the man is still not what he has been seen doing, he shall redeem himself by what he decides to turn himself into.
Is this a way of saying that you want to get yourself a tattoo? Get a new look? - the bird mockingly asked.
And I gave the scorched bird no answer.
Then the bird said unto me: what about your career as a prophet, uh? And the things you said about returning with substance? Do you actually think this is substance?
And i considered what the Bird said, then I negated with a movement of my own head. It is not i answered, but i find the memories of me not making sense unbearable. For those mean the memories of a fool, un pendejo, an insane person, or both. And I will always try to amend what I don't do well. But now I wish for only one thing, and it is to be remembered as someone who makes sense, and who out of that sense, made good upon the world. I don't expect anything in return for what I do now, as it is merely an outlet to keep me sane while I finish editing my work. It's clear I'm too incompetent to be a competent influencer. As for once, I don't care about influencing anyone into what I think; but to perform what I think it's important.
Then every proverbial student is free to take classes so as they see fit, and to interpret such classes as their comprehension gives them grasp of what it's said. In such regard, this is what I offer now, while I make the journey to Madrid. And the bird tilted it's head so as to observe me with his left eye, then after a long impasse, it made a loud and painful caw, and finally flew away. Soon after the bird flew, I looked upon the stars in the nascent night, and confessed to them, that it was the memories of who we were, what often stumps us into wrong beliefs of who we should be, maybe even wasting an entire lifetime retained by that which other people remembered us as being. But we are not the owners of our own names, the place we go, and our destiny. That's the biggest lie the western world of hollywood heros tell you, as in truth is collective agreement what determines what we look like doing and thus the meaning we should comfort to, recalling that names are practical mechanisms to remember the purpose of things, their meaning, and how their motion is described in the world.
But making the task of beating that collective belief, akin to the Nietzschean ideal of the camel turning into the lion, so as to transform it's spirit and become something else. But if it's the golden dragon of all the huamn values which judges you insane, will you be prepared to wrestle with the entire culture so as to have your way?
As I layed my eyes upon each star counting up to the number seventeen, I confessed of being scared of those beliefs, as revisiting the past, became a painful deed — and as I prepared to leave, I uttered one wish on the seventeenth point in the sky.
Lord please grant me strength, the way you have given my friend strenght.
2.
The night deepen, while the sea tide sang its own song of breathing. Some time passed, and then on the stranger showed himself approaching at the distance. I waved my hand at him, and after the instant, he found his way into my bench while I welcomed him with an extended fist which he casually bumped - after the short acknowledgement the dark alien looked at my face in between it's cover of dark, and looking at it undiscernable in its true features, with suspicion asked.
— What is it that you want?
I acknowledged him as a friend, then mentioned my brief research, as I had come to know him as man looking for a job, yet nobody would hire for things mundane due to his appearance. I listened closely to the news, and came to understand that this was a man looking for a second chance.Then I saw the intent behind his doing, and two words came to stick to my own thoughts. The first one was <> and the second one was <>. I was admired.
In analytical psychology I figured this man was the ESFP —the personality archetype related to the performer and the entertainer—, possessed in an abnormal way by the spirit by which a person submits to it's contrary nature, seeking to integrate and find fulfillment through the chase of what's perceived absent. If he was the ESFP then doing the flip by following the radial axis of each Jungian function in the stack towards their opposite resulted in the INTJ. The mastermind. The architect. The genius yet awfully complex individual. That was the elusive spirit he was chasing.
But a spirit and a character that at its most pronounced embodiment in a person, would experience life as an eternal foreigner hiding from the light of other men. Such made sense to me, for I myself was the INTJ, and had at spirit the ESFP. Him. So where as this man chased the spiritual fulfillment of being a complex and deep individual, I chased the fulfillment of becoming simpler, so I could demonstrate with action the deepest desires of my heart. One who was born plentiful in means to be liked, becomes complex, mysterious and uncomprehended, meeting one who will be seen trying to make sense becoming simpler. For Carl Jung portrayed the anima and animus of individuals, as the sense of what its absent, yet deeply cherished an valued. So I said these things to the alien, while he silently listened to me.
— All of that sounds like bullshit to me. -Said the alien after some contemplation .— Sorry but the things you say, don't mean anything to me.
And alas for I expected such response, as if one thing was true about this journey, was that explaining the journey in and of itself would become it's grimmest task. I affirmated what he just said with a slight nod of head.
— These things I say and how they relate to each other, in its excercise are similar to doing stecheometric balance with equations in the head, but simpler I'm afraid. - Then I paused, looked back into the sea, and continued. — That's high school chemistry, but I don't expect everybody to pick up on it, nor like it, nor understand it.
— Now i have called you a friend, and where I came from we dub with this title the people we share destiny with. As far as I'm concerned, we are chasing the same thing, which is the hardest posible thing. We both innately understand that we are not home, as we want our spirit to return to us, and that's not what a lot of people ever honestly try to attempt in a lifetime; as such is anyone's call to feel complete.
— And very few people ever reach true individuality, beyond the name they are imposed at birth.
Then I looked into the black alien, and in-between his foreign facial features, I interpreted something familiar. Disturbance. And I continued.
— We have given ourselves hell as we lived chasing something hard, so we can avoid the same hell later on when we are finally back to our own house. This is a christian precept, altought a rundimentary one. Does that makes sense to you?
And after listening such, the black alien calmly looked at the veil in my face in silence. Trying to discern what my face actually looked like, but the night was dark. Then turned his stare back to the reflection of the moon over the waters, giving some thought to what I just said. I opened up my backpack, and drawed two cans of beer from it. Offered one to him, and he silently refused with a gesture of hand. I popped my can and gave it a sip, while I myself stared at the tides coming in and out of the shore.
— If you wan't a tattoo, we can work that out. But this sounds annoyingly familiar, and my interest is not religious. Are you religious?
I nodded in affirmation, and complemented saying. — But my doctrine is something nobody has heard nor seen. For its aim, is doing as Christ said, in perfect means. Yet its true that the teaching fits you, as it's the teaching of the future man; and there's nothing in common between the current man and the future man, as they may very well be different species. This is the precept of evolution.
The alien seemed surprised.
— These two men don't know each other, for the current man doesn't know where the future man comes from, for he himself doesn't know where he is going. Yet in deep realization of your own artistic concept, I think you might want new ideas to meet with your appearance. So tell me, are you curious about what truly happens to a man after he dies? Do you want to learn how to read someone's mind? Do you want to blast with words of fire the hearts of an amazed crowd?
But the black alien broke his calm contemplation of what I was saying, and slighty disturbed, aggressively rebuked after hearing such.
— But you mentioned 'Christ', so you must be christian. How can a christian even say anything interesting in this current time? Last time I asked, their sayings were dreaded by restriction - so why would anyone condemn themselves to a life of bore? Are you a christian?
And I nodded after the question, in silence. Admittedly, for I knew what the problem was with being what I was, and my new companion was bang on identifying it. Made a pause, then raised my sight to where it met with the sky and the stars in it, and I said back to him.
— I am, but not one of a type you have ever seen, for the Christ that comes, is a Christ of art.
2.
The riptide sang, in its secret dialect of earth and sea. I looked upon the coast, turned an eye blind, and saw the ocean as the scorpio, and the land as the taurus; as it was the struggle between two lovers, never meant to consume each other. Ideal love then - yet not to confuse with this partnership as it was whimsilcally tied by the means in which i arranged my current conversation; for my lady somewhere waited for me. Then i allowed my eyes to rest still.
The alien looked upon me, undiscernable in my intentions, and again figured for himself that my interest towards him wasn’t clear. In suspicion, and after the moment he collected his thoughts asked “In your weird words you dubbed me performer, so what is it exactly that you wan’t from me. To me it seems like you are gathering people for some form of religious clown show. When you forced this meeting upon me, was this a proposal you thought i would find amusement in?”. And after the statement my own stare wandered in my conversation partner. While as he had his say, i returned to my can of beer, and finished it with a long gulp. Tempered in an unwillingness to fall to my new found friend irritation, i said within my own thoughts: “The alien looks easy going, but he is barbed in wit”.
Then i opened the can of beer that the stranger rejected; the loud pop resounded in the relative silence, interrupting for a moment the steady chorus of the sea. Gave it a long sip, and said.
– Theres no proposal in place yet. But im certain of something, and that is that both of us are messed individuals which reached the bottom doing the same thing - but the way my understandment of the human soul goes: two people can act by mere interaction as reactives to each other, creating a new chemical compound after the fact.
– This new psychology is very much like chemistry. But it is not my intention to draw you into something, but to pull myself out of this «something» by doing right on another person and maybe that person reflecting the good back on me. I just need a conversation partner, thats all. And i will do this with you, and with many people more. Presidents included.
The alien reflected on it, and after the hiatus of a long standing position of suspicion he finally gave in, and eased up with a slight smile. A strange smile of relief. But the smile, was all too familiar for me, as i realized the man was a tortured individual: a person in long standing pain. I smiled back the way he did, and continued.
– Our pain has a common name, and is a name that can be written with words unfortunately. It’s the devilish mother of all spiritual ills and its foundation, rests at the concept of a past that wasnt solved. It’s called «inadequeacy», and for people like you and me, understanding one day that such inadecuacy had to be solved by our own means, lead us into an act where our name changed as the changes in our cover up act to solve our inadequacy did.
– We never honored the past or the present in our pursuit, as we desired in passion to find solution to the present, by matching it into the idealization of some future without ever realizing that the old or present essence of ones being would be crushed into non existance by said future.
– Then we found the realization of that new name, only to understand that its demands became a tyranny on the other faces of our soul: as our soul is not something that can be undestood in unity, but something that conceives in the beginning in multiple things which try to give shape to one thing. Theres many people in a village, and our minds, are no exception.
— But happiness is only achieved by those who have their soul entire - or those who are the same person regardless of the context and scenario. And we gave to much to somebody that wasn't us, as our spirit took possession and lead us down.
– This is this the essence by which someone goes to hell, only to do one thing over again, getting an ever lasting pain for all the things that were given up chasing that which was absent. The more someone is forced into being shaped by the thing that was concevied in lust, the more the individual misses the place they used to call home, for that is no longer within ones reach. Does this makes sense to you?
The alien left me with no answer, and as he contemplated the sea, a tear travelled through his strange face.
– In this state of anguish, affliction rarely ever feels company, as the very individual condition that was pursued, became a full suit and persona to be forced upon and wear. Hell, is one lonely place man because we only learn to speak a language, that only makes sense to ourselves. But i think we can find a way out of it. This is why I'm here.
“Look, what you’ve done, it’s not something i can see the way you can see my own doing on me.” The alien replied. “Besides the way in which i canno’t see your face in this night, you seem ordinary — but what you talk and the way you say it, evokes in every word regret. What is it that you’ve done that has you regret like this?”
As the alien finished speaking, I emptied the can of beer, layed my eyes on the irregular grooves that my feet had left on the sand, and then replied back to him, after making a recap of the story i had repeatedly told myself after falling down.
“My story, is the fairy tale of a guy who makes way for the new coming of a new man; a better man for the world, while he casts disarray upon the earth: much to his dismay, at the expense of his own soul as the people who become victims of disasters, were ones who this man deemed unfair; cruel, evil, despicable in past. That was at the beginning."
"Theres a pile of corpses behind that character — even in covid time, people as close as the local priest of the small town he lived in, would break their neck after falling in the shower, as he had the slightest suspicion of their secret deeds. All clean deads for that matter. Untraceable to nothing but sheer randomness. Magic as it seeems. But were this folk truly evil people or even guilty of anything? You may ask - the man never knew it for sure, as he never had faculties such as godly omniscience to actually know it; which has taken a toll on him, as the burden of justice is an unberable one for anything but a god."
"Which leads to another point: spontaneously picturing random numbers in the head, associating them with psychological compounds by angular momentum, and actually being bang on the suspicion. Truth friend, in its stochastic presentation: it's unberable.”
“Consequential of such attempts to rationalize his own story in the eyes of people such as close family, my dude became clinically diagnosed with referenced thinking. Which are fancy words for schizophrenia. Nobody believed the story as it was uttered."
"Yet the consequences are there for everyone to see, altought not visible in their cause and effect by anybody but this guy, which lead him first into regret over ever starting his quest as a reformer; and then repent.”
“Now before he realized of this lets call it «curse», he preached for years over the internet as the disasters started to slowly creep up. He preached in a fashion parallel to Niestzches Zarathustra; Zarathustra meaning a famous philosophical device artificied by the philosopher Niestzche, who’s aim was to portray the best posible man, as something he dubbed the <<Übermensch>> ”.
“Such concept being the seemingly more elegant brand of a humanist ideal for a not so distant future: today - albeit a wrong one, for this guy was not dyonisian himself. The backbone of his framework, is analytical psycholgy becoming a chariot for a true understandment of human nature: and ultimately a facilitator for love within light: not within ignorance; not within darkness. Most philosophers today though would mock anything analytical in it's aim."
"Then on the guy preached and dwelved further into the relative hole of his own doctrine: and became imprisoned by what he didn’t got right at first attempt, making him in the process the character that Nietzsche from the comfort of his own writers seat, never attempted to actually embody within realistic means: eventually figuring out within himself the ultimate Nietzschean aristocrat: a magic pen granted by being capetian by mother: from judah by father."
"But Alas, you have no idea how common suicide is within philosophers after they finish their best work. As language, becomes the ultimate barrier for understandment, and then to ones capacity to feel love. Difference — true saliency in ones individual destiny— leads to the gravest posible pain. Ironic isn’t it?”
“Besides technical work with a new form of psychology inspired by analytical chemistry, as that drawed from his efforts during the light of day, five years ago, once he felt the urge to try to reach out to the world from a position of what he deemed was greater understandment: he primitively preached during night his new set of ideas for people to behave beyond the limitations of manipulative psychology, albeit a harsh doctrine meant to clear the way for a better product: Christ himself."
"This is not a doctrine a human being can actually perform, as such its christianity at its highest capacity to bear fruit. It’s an impossible doctrine, yet solves the oldest problem posed in the bible. All which sounds very sci-fi bullshit-y but actual problems started for the protagonist in this tale, when the preaching matched with terrible consequences. Not figurative, but within tangible reality.”
“So just as we talk, theres a small legion of hackers pretending to be doing internet social experiments while talking in an artsy matter: much in my own style, entertaining the exact same concepts - a legion of dangerous monkeys, i have no control over."
"One of the many unexpected consequences being this, yet prompted by something evil; ancient: essentially replicating what my protagonist developed and then preached over the years, while these "hacktivists" lay their attention on things and people, as they select them and enforce upon them strict surveillance, to behave properly. Then to destroy them, as they did in 2020 with many corporations and institutions.A bizarre combination of theater actors to my own liking, and then cyber-security demigods: omniscient in their claims to surveill, and they are - derivative such of another device of what I've done; which is to build a theater so people can make-believe that they are infact performing within themselves something greater - but that's matter for another story."
“Most of the corpses piling up flat out dead, have no relation to him whatsoever; they became victims as my protagonist took measures to fight back the monster he found at the foundation of the known world. This is not an elaborate analogy for one's own unseen capacity for evil, as i mean this: a monster as literally as it can be. For these things friend, im doomed as in true strenght, i have nothing but the pen i use to write down what i think albeit always at danger of it’s eventual inversion. I have no real friends left. Not one who can understand, or help bear the pain: as friendship and love are all gated by understandment."
"The full story has many more vertients, but i think i’ve done it enough justice. This is the predicament of an insane man chased by his own shadow as he builds a better man: one who delivers heavenly things, and then a shadow stringed to deliver tyranny as the very strings behind him make the better man stumble while he tries to keep a grasp of his own spirit, and then of his own soul."
"That monster behind, is wicked smart — and cannot be outwitted nor overpowered but anything but divine smite."
“I’m heading now to a new country, to try to get friends from the only institution in the world who knows and adresses the current times being, and who by extension, might believe me. And to clarify, these being the end of times; but not the end of the world. Yet now i myself have a damocles sword pending over my own head, and i need to do something about it before it falls.”
And as i said these things, i reached out to my backpack drawing a third can of beer from it — besides my own super laptop, thats what my backpack had: an infinite supply of beer. Corona, Indio, Victoria, Dos Equis, Heineken; you name it. I popped the can, and gave it a long and definite sip as i emptied it complete.
The alien didn't try to show that he understood, but stood still in silence, with his sight in the sand below and pressing lips, knowing by my demeanor; that these things as I've said them was something that I needed to do. Then he said: "I don't follow man. You say you preach and then disasters occur. Like a prophet from the bible?"
"Yes. Then I preached to get rid of the things that are actually making the world worse, and something awoke soon after, and since then; everything I do is subject to being misinterpreted due to the diffamatory action of this thing. Now everytime I do something, it can be twisted and turned against my original intent. Right now the hackers are my worst problem: I may have a degree in computers but I have no fucking idea whatsoever of hacking. I earn my living as an A.I engineer.".
The alien raised his sight to meet with mine, and after doing some contemplation on the fact, quite simply said: "You are insane". Then lowered his own sight, and raised it again to meet with the sea and continued. "If you want a tattoo, we can work that out. But either way and whatever parts of your story are true and even worse; the ones you may be lying about: you sound dangerous in a delusional kind of sense, and my life is hard enough as is."
I pressed my fists, knowing then the old same thing had happened again. For I had never forced anything upon anybody, and I was willing to respect that until the bitter end. Then I released the build up of frustration with a loud sigh, and after this amend, I replied back.
"I understand and respect it. But let me just propose you that if you ever want to figure what is beyond life as it's lived by person who has never seen what is like to be someone you write a great story about; you can pin me, and I'll show you what's beyond that door. Give it some thought."
The alien; The Black Alien Project stayed there sitting, spechless but calm, almost expecting something else to be convinced about. But pointless, for i knew that nobody can be forced into anything without bringing a transgression into play – and i wasn’t one to taint myself in sin if it could be avoided. Not anymore.
3.
I made the distance at steady pace walking along the shore, until i found a small group of pines in-between the liminal space of the beach and the land. I sat with one of the pines trunk behind my back, and drawed the Schizo Pills from my eternal supply of traveller goodies.
Quetiapine 100 mg, and Olanzapine 10 mg, i made a smaller fragment from the olanzapine pill, and swallowed both complete. As their side effects were concerned, they would soon knock me out of conscience, as this little ritual was my own way of calling the day complete – then i layed there, vigilant, waiting for my own drowsiness to claim me into sleep - but the Bird of Britan came flying from above, and stood besides me.
\Chirp, Chirp, Chirp**
I watched the bird, annoyed, as its presence had become an omen for contempt. For me and the death people of my past. I frowned upon the little shit, and said nothing. The bird made a little nod, while tilting its head in excentricity the way birds do, and replied. — Hey Andrew!, do you remember when you tried to penetrate your own computer to make a universe grow inside of it? I just wan’t to know something: did your computer moan? Did it finally learnt how to scream your name?
\Chirp Chirp**
Ignoring the bird, i closed my eyes and stayed like that for a long moment, hoping to make the bird think i was asleep. Maybe that would make him leave.
— Can’t bullshit me like that Sweetheart. So please tell me something; why don’t you command one of your supermodels; these muses, to come here and warm the bed for you. It's a cold night and you seem lonely brah
. \Chirp Chirp**
I opened my eyes, and irritated, pointed menacingly at the bird turning my left hand into an imaginary gun. I had already failed at something today, and wasn’t convinced i needed the memory of the things i failed at before. Not now.
  • Hol’ up cowboy ! you wan’t to bang my bird ass when you should be banging a bitch ass. What happened with Tyrone huckleberry? Did you managed to make him as impotent as you are right now? —I held steady my hand; and tired, the tempation to pull again the trigger on the bird was growing larger. I saw red roses in my own sight, making a terrible omen for a migraine forthcoming. Said nothing.
— The glowniggers are out there brah. You may not be a hacker – and its true, but i took notice of your last words: so now the glowies are going to instead dreambooth* people into every posible kind of scenario of extorsion, while they surveil like a motherfucker. Like you dream boothed yourself for your little ahem "art project". Then we will use Suno*, then Sora* when it open sources. Are you going to protect your hoes?
Said nothing.
  • Alright cowboy, i will give meaning to that revelations verse. What was it? Ah yes. Revelations 9:6. Every single person with an internet history will be as paranoid as you were in 2020. Everyone will be diffamated into acts of political terrorism! Aren’t you am-
And as i pulled the imaginary trigger from the imaginary pistol, an imaginary arrow in the sky descended with a blaze of not so imaginary flames on the Bird of Britain, engulfing the little shit in heat, and making it’s body explode into a gore of scorched viscera. As if the bird was in a microwave oven. I inmediately gasped as the explosion was too close from where i was sitting - after the conmotion, stared at the red and burned stain in the floor, and left my sight rest there, as sleep finally found its way into my restless thoughts.
"No longer care for love unless it's between good friends”. Said to myself. There was certainly a migraine coming, but maybe my dreams would help convince it otherwise. And as far as the hoes were concerned, Furious Angels would be there for them. Like the Rob Dougan song.
4.
Found my own mind after the slumber – asleep, then awake. I realized several hours passed - at least enough to wake up and witness the sun rise above the sea. But as for dreams, the light veil of their memories wasn't something to rely upon. But i did remember something, and it was some overtone in dread; an atmosphere of fear – and a kind of dread sustained in it’s inevitability by the urgency that builds upon dearth.
Now what exactly was it though? I couldn’t remember from my dreams, but ever since i falled to my own death i had always present in mind the future succesion of events that would follow when things started to go very wrong. Iran, the U.S, Israel - now whatever was it in the news; the outcome would be the same. A thousand more cuts to an already languishing economy. Make that corpse bleed, and then fall off a cliff.
As such things would be cooked, just as the bird of britain. The bird was still there though: just in pieces and roasted like the contents of a dropped KFC bucket would. But the little shit would return - as it always did. The economy? Not so much.
Yet i digress. None of the world circumstances mattered as far i was concerned – i had built a small and portable solar system to power my laptop, and my beer supply was well, infinite - i made myself sure that i had my needs covered whatever happened around me. Not tied to even a house for that matter. I incorporated myself and gave my back a stretch. The morning breeze coming from the sea evocated in my memories some time that had long passed – late childhood. I rejected those memories as they beared with them things i didnt wan’t to remember - then wen’t on as usual in my morning routine scrolling through my instagram feed, figuring if there were any new hoes to maybe motivate me into doing my God imposed labour.
Labour which was to either write, or to finish the House of Water — then after scrolling i did in fact saw a new hoe; i dropped a Faux Pas comment. Maybe she would play along, maybe not. Whatever. Sometimes I would put in a lot of effort to do a rhyme. But the effort depended on the insta-hoe in question. I know. Not the best of habits, but back in elementary school i was the kind of kid that would only get motivation when the girls in the classroom were present in physEd. And then i would run faster: whole lotta faster. Run Forrest! Run! Women love used to fuel me; and the habit sticked — and at the moment, i was kinda done with the idea of female trascendence. Would rely on their love, but not on their validation. Not like a simp. Fuck that.
Furthermore, what results did i demonstrably mustered after pursuing true egalitarianism and sharing it? Exactly. A bitch gonna do what a bitch gonna do, and so does the human female. After publishing the comment, I locked my phone and walked towards the highway, as i was planning to pay a visit to somebody long forgotten - I had kind of a schedule that i was going to follow, before taking the plane to Madrid and become hispanic Jon Snow from the walgreens Nightwatch.
submitted by Still_Ad_4928 to u/Still_Ad_4928 [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:38 Virtual_Spend_4154 My grandparents are threatening to kick me out if I begin HRT. What should I do?

I’m 22 ftm, and I live with my grandparents. They requested I live with them to help them out.
I’m honestly really devastated at the moment so I’m not sure what to do or say, I’m sorry if this post is messy. I intend on starting HRT on Monday, taking a low dose of Testosterone. I’ve known I was a man since I was 14 years old, and I experience dysphoria with my voice and looking feminine. I’ve socially transitioned, and my school and job accept me for who I am.
My family, though, all have varying levels of disagreeing with the LGBTQ. I came out when I was 19. My uncles are the types of guys to assume all gay men will force themselves on them, my dad told me I will never be a real man and that I’m a beautiful girl, and anyone who referred to me by my proper pronouns or name were essentially bullied into misgendering and deadnaming me. I only know this because a former ally told me he can no longer respect my identity because he “needs to be on (his) wife’s side.” I understood, but it hurt.
Flash forward to now. I dress androgynous and occasionally wear a dress because- let’s be real- dresses are super comfortable. Who WANTS to wear pants all the time? Not me, even if I’m masc aligned.
That being said, my gender dysphoria has been particularly bad- to the point where I did something drastic last year that took me a while to recover from. After healing from it, getting a job, and finishing out my semester in college, I went to a gender clinic that would work with my health insurance to see what options would be best for me.
After about two hours of discussing my personal journey, my family’s medical issues, and discussing the options they can provide, we decided biweekly low dosage testosterone injections were the way to go for how I’d like to present. They draw my blood, see that I’m medically fit, and schedule an appointment a month out for me to get my first testosterone injection in their office so I know how to do them at home.
Last night, my grandmother, 64F (who, by all accounts, is one of my most liberal family members) calls me down to talk after I come home from work. She pulls out a letter that she had opened addressed to me by my preferred name. Again, she knows I’m trans. I’ve explained it to her before, but she’s always been subtly doubtful. It’s small things like “you think you’re a boy” and “you call yourself Dylan” as opposed to just saying I’m a boy or that I go by Dylan. Honestly, the second one sounds like I run around and talk in the third person and everyone calls me by my legal name, which amuses me a little, but is still pretty disrespectful.
The letter is from the clinic, and it shows the date of my upcoming appointment. She said my grandfather (75M) gave it to her, and not to me. They opened my mail without my permission, which is illegal, but they do it all the time. My grandfather mentioned that it was the same place I could get hormones, and if I did that, he would kick me out. My grandmother seemingly agrees with this, and told me that, and that he’s very anti-lgbtq.
There’s a few problems with this story I couldn’t process at the time: - My grandfather was one of the first people I came out to, and he was very accepting of me. This was only three years ago, but I understand his memory and personality may change drastically in old age. He even bought me my first binder! - My grandmother was openly against me getting HRT, and always has been. - My family (her sons mostly) has claimed she’s very controlling and has “always wanted a little girl.” I was her only granddaughter and her daughters, so I feel like that may also affect her. - She has constantly put in my head that I am intellectually disabled. I can agree I’m behind the curve for people my age, but not so much I need to be monitored and watched over for the rest of my life like she seems to imply
That night, I sobbed in my car because of the betrayal. I thought she loved me, but I think I love my grandmother more than she loves me, sometimes. Or maybe just not in the same way.
Tonight, she and I will have dinner out. I don’t have the energy to fight, but I’ll record our conversation if it comes to that so I can organize points at a later date to discuss with her. I won’t be cancelling my HRT, and I have resources in case she does kick me out, but it never really hurts to have more. Thanks for reading, I’ll update later tonight.
submitted by Virtual_Spend_4154 to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:38 xxxtendo999 tik tok shop EIN help

I got everything set up to start my selling on tik tok other than my shop (llc, business checking, business credit card) but somehow lost my ein document/letter to submit and am getting denied without that. Working to get it from the irs but their customer support is not great…
Am I able to use my already approved individual tik tok shop to sell items until I can get my llc tik tok shop approved? I’m just unsure of the tax implications, if I can deposit the payouts to my business checking or I’ll need to operate as effectively self employed until then. Any advice?
submitted by xxxtendo999 to TikTokshop [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:35 MuppetsAbound Need advice on a situation

Good day everyone, I’m in a bit of a situation and I really need some advice. For reference I’m almost 28, female, and a first year Intervention Specialist.
This year has been hard for me, I suck at IEPs, my wonderful mentor teacher isn’t a SpEd teacher, and I was too stupid to look up all the requirements I need to meet to get an unrestricted license.
Not to mention my heart is just not in this. I enjoy working with (some) of the kids (12-14 yrs old), but this career path is one my mother chose for me. (Long story there, basically mom decided that I didn’t know what to do with my life and forced me into the family tradition)
The school I’m currently working at has terminated me, but some collaboration with my coworkers convinced admin to let me submit a resignation letter. My mom does not know this yet, I admit I’m kinda scared to tell her.
Also, yes I still live with my parents, rent is expensive. No I’m in no position to actually move out so please don’t suggest that as it is not an option.
I don’t want to have to take more grating education classes at the local college just to be able to extend my resident educator license. I want to switch to a warehouse/stocking style job so I can focus on saving up more money and gearing up towards going back to college to get a degree in zookeeping and working with animals as is my passion.
I’m ADHD (and probably a few other things) and I don’t have enough spoons to do all the work needed for education WHILE working towards my true end goal. I don’t think my mom understands this as she is fixated on me getting an unrestricted license. She’s convinced I’m gonna spend hundreds of dollars throughout my life on my license, college classes, and PD while working with animals and not teaching in a school again. She says it’s gonna be useful but the thought of that makes me want to cry.
I’m so twisted up about this, I’m a horrendous people pleaser and am notorious for bending to the will of my mother instead of standing up for myself (My mom is super strong willed too which does not help)
I’m already dedicated to leaving teaching, that’s not the dilemma, it’s how do I tell my mom I’m not going to do anything more with teaching, period, full stop, and I am going to switch my attention towards my own, chosen future.
Any help is appreciated, I’ve thought way too hard on this and have no clue what way to go.
submitted by MuppetsAbound to Teachers [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:35 WCInvestor A Physician Disability Insurance Primer - Do You Really Need It?

A Physician Disability Insurance Primer - Do You Really Need It?
The greatest financial risk for physicians is losing the ability to turn the knowledge and skills you spent a decade learning into a huge pile of money by working in your profession for decades. There are risks that could show up in your life that would prevent you from being able to accomplish this task. One of the most common of these risks is an extended or even permanent disability. Insurance companies estimate that as many as one in seven doctors will be disabled at some point during their career. While many imagine this will occur in a sudden traumatic accident, medical illness is actually a more common cause of disability that prevents a doctor from working. Physician disability is a complicated type of insurance. This post will give you the “must-know” information to secure the best protection and help you avoid common disability insurance mistakes.

TL;DR: Key Takeaways: What Doctors Need to Know About Disability Insurance

  1. The best Disability Insurance policy is an individual, portable, own-occupation, specialty-specific policy.
  2. Purchase disability insurance from an independent agent who can show you policies from all of the major companies. We have a list of recommended Disability Insurance agents used by thousands of white coat investors each year.
  3. Buy as much disability insurance as they are willing to sell you as a resident. Include a future purchase option (sometimes called a “benefit purchase rider” or “future increase option”) and a cost of living disability insurance rider.
  4. As an attending, increase your coverage to cover both your living expenses and retirement savings if you were to work to age 65.
  5. You may get sticker shock, but the reason disability insurance is expensive is that it actually gets used. Slightly more than 1 out of 4 adults will experience a disability before they retire. Physician disability insurance agents often use a figure of 1 out of 7 doctors actually using the disability insurance they purchase. Whatever the true statistic may be, it's certainly high enough to insure against.
Do not take the risk of not having disability insurance.

What Is Disability Insurance?

Disability insurance gives you an income to live on if you become so disabled that you can no longer work.
If you become disabled, a long-term disability insurance policy pays a predetermined amount each month until you either recover from your disability or reach age 65-67. (Note: Policies vary. It is possible to buy a policy that pays to age 70 or even, for a very high premium, until death).

Why Do Physicians Need Disability Insurance?

One out of seven doctors end up having to use their disability insurance. Losing the ability to turn the knowledge and skills you spent a decade learning into a pile of money by working in your profession for decades is one of the most expensive risks that physicians face. Your most valuable asset is your ability to work.

How Does Disability Insurance Work?

Disability insurance is a pretty straightforward proposition. You buy a policy and pay your premium monthly or annually. If you become disabled, you (and your doctor) fill out the paperwork to prove it to the satisfaction of the insurance company and then they pay you the promised monthly benefit until you either recover from your disability or the insurance company meets its contractual obligation to pay the benefit.

Short-Term vs. Long-Term Disability

Disability insurance is most commonly divided into short-term and long-term.

Short-Term Disability

A short-term disability policy generally begins paying just as soon as you get disabled and then pays for a maximum period of 3-24 months. These policies are often provided by an employer as an employee benefit. Short-term disability, while inconvenient financially, is not generally a financial catastrophe for a physician saving for retirement with an emergency fund. As a result, many doctors do not buy short-term disability policies at all.

Long-Term Disability

A long-term disability policy generally does not pay immediately, but only begins to pay after a waiting period ranging from 1-24 months (typically 3 months). Then, the policy will continue to pay you a benefit each month until age 65, 67, or 70, depending on the policy. Note that a 3 month waiting period typically means your first check won't come until the end of the first month after the 3 months, so it's really a 4 month waiting period. Since losing your ability to earn a living for the rest of your life is a financial catastrophe, any doctor who is not financially independent should buy a long-term disability insurance policy.

What Does Disability Insurance Cover?

Disability insurance covers all kinds of disabilities. The best (and unfortunately most expensive) policies cover the widest range of potential disabilities.

The Definition of Disability

The most important feature is the definition of disability. Disability insurance differs from life insurance in numerous ways, but none is more significant than in defining exactly when you become disabled (and when you become enabled again). The broader the definition of disability you get in your policy, the more the policy will cost.
Unlike life insurance, where life and death are pretty black and white, disability has 50 shades of gray. You want a policy with a strong, broad definition of disability that will cover any possible type of disability? That means “true own-occupation, specialty-specific” and no limitations on things such as psychiatric conditions or addictions. This is the main difference between the “Big 5” companies and others. Even among the “Big 5,” there are slight differences. It is OK not to purchase the policy with the very best definition of disability, but the weaker the definition, the bigger the discount you should expect.

Own-Occupation, Specialty-Specific

Probably the most important aspect of the definition for doctors is that it be specific to your occupation. For instance, if I lost my left thumb, there are a number of procedures in emergency medicine that I could no longer do. I would be completely disabled from managing a busy emergency department by myself. But I could probably still go do urgent care work. A specialty-specific definition of disability in my policy would provide me with my full disability payments in addition to the money I make at the urgent care. Sometimes, the “specialty-specific” clause is inherent to the policy, and at other times it is an additional rider (a piece of paper added to the policy for which you pay an additional premium). Either way, you almost surely want to get this in your policy. Here are the various definitions, starting with own occupation and progressing to any occupation.

Own-Occupation Definition

Under this definition, your policy will pay if you cannot work in your occupation/specialty, even if you can and do work in another field and make as much money as you want.
Own-occupation policies cover people based on the occupational duties they are performing at the time of claim. If your policy includes an own-occupation definition of total disability and you are exclusively performing the customary duties of your medical specialty or sub-specialty at the time of the claim, the policy will cover you when unable to perform your specialty or sub-specialty. If you have transitioned into a different role or expanded into a new career path that requires much less direct patient contact or procedural duties, you may no longer be considered totally disabled when unable to work in your specialty or sub-specialty. This is because your “occupation(s)” involves additional material and substantial duties, no longer limited to the performance of your medical specialty or sub-specialty. In these instances, you may be considered partially disabled or not disabled at all, depending on the exact circumstances.

Transitional Own-Occupation

Your policy will pay if you cannot work in your occupation/specialty, even if you can and do work in another field. But if you exceed your previous income while you now work in another field, your monthly benefit from the policy would likely be lowered.

Modified Own-Occupation

Your policy will only pay if you can't work in your occupation/specialty AND if you are not working in another field. This definition is also sometimes called “Own-Occupation, Not Engaged” or “Own-Occupation, Not Working.”

Any-Occupation

Your policy will only pay if you cannot work in any occupation based on education, training or experience. Note that some policies are own-occupation for a couple of years and then transition to any-occupation.
One company out there (Northwestern Mutual) sells a policy with a definition that they claim is BETTER than own-occupation. They call it Medical Own-Occupation, but in reality, it is just a form of modified own-occupation. Learn more about the NML Medical Own-Occupation Definition.

Do You Really Need an Own-Occupation, Specialty-Specific Policy?

Some non-procedural physicians argue that they might not need a true own-occupation policy. They reason that if they are so disabled that they cannot practice their specialty, they probably cannot do anything else. So, they accept a less broad definition of disability to save some dollars on the premium. If you choose to do this, make sure you understand the exact circumstances under which your policy will and will not pay out.

Mental Disorders/Substance Abuse

Many policies will only cover mental illness or substance abuse-related disabilities for a period of two years. I know an attorney who couldn't practice law after developing bipolar syndrome in his 30s. It took over a decade to get it under control. He had a policy that covered mental illness indefinitely, which prevented financial catastrophe from striking him and his family.
According to the April 2011 issue of Current Psychiatry Magazine, physicians are not immune to depression and have an increased risk of suicide. Additionally, the lack of distinction between a psychiatric diagnosis and impairment stigmatizes physicians and impedes treatment.
You'll need to decide whether this is a risk you're willing to run. If you want mental illness covered like every other illness, you'll be paying more.

Presumptive Total Disability

As you well know, disability can be defined in many shades of gray. In the event of your disability, you can expect a paperwork fight between you, your physician, the disability insurance company, and maybe even your attorney. However, most policies contain a section that defines “presumptive total disability” where you can be assured there won't be much arguing from the insurance company. Even better, the waiting period will be waived and you'll start getting payments right away.
Anything short of that, and you're going to have to get your doctor to certify your disability and get the insurance company to accept it. At times, this can involve visits to multiple specialists and even hiring an attorney. Note that with some companies, presumptive disability does not need to be permanent.

Cosmetic Surgery/Transplant Surgery

Some policies will cover you if your disability is the result of cosmetic surgery or the result of donating a kidney or other body part to someone else. Others will not. Best to read your policy carefully and know what it does and does not cover.

Disability Insurance Exclusions & Limitations

Disability insurance policies generally exclude any medical conditions you have at the time of applying for insurance. For example, if you already have chronic back pain, the policy will not provide a benefit if you are disabled due to a back condition. In addition, if you admit to participating in dangerous activities such as scuba diving, rock climbing, flying, and sky-diving, the policy will likely be issued with a rider that excludes those activities from coverage. Other exclusions may also apply, such as acts of war, normal pregnancy, and foreign travel. Here is a list of common exclusions:
  • War or Act of War (this could probably be interpreted pretty broadly)
  • Active Military Duty (having served, this is pretty stupid since 95%+ of our military folks are never in any kind of serious danger of being hurt by a combatant)
  • Normal Pregnancy (don't want to work because you're eight months pregnant? Don't bother trying to get disability benefits for that)
  • Foreign Travel (varies by policy, but many don't cover you during that European vacation, much less that humanitarian trip to Sudan—read the fine print)
  • Mental/Nervous Disorder (many companies limit benefits to two years, where they might pay for “physical” disorders until you're 65 years old)
  • Medical Exclusions (any medical conditions you have at the time the policy is issued will likely be excluded, meaning if you have heart disease at the time of issuance and it leads to you being disabled five years later, the policy isn't going to pay. Again, apply when you are young and healthy and/or when you haven't had medical problems for several years to minimize this.)

Residual Disability

Residual disability refers to being only partially disabled. This may occur from the initial injury or illness or be part of the process of recovery. You generally need to buy an additional rider to cover this. Read this rider carefully, it can be a bit complicated.
Imagine developing painful lumbar radiculopathy that keeps you from working more than 20 hours a week. This is the part of your policy that will cover that. This rider will also explain how much you get if you are partially disabled. My old policy says it pays the whole benefit (total disability) if I can't earn at least 20% of my “indexed prior monthly earnings,” which is basically the money I earn at my job. It doesn't count my investments, other disability income policies, rent from a rental property, or my nonvocational activities. It doesn't pay anything if my earnings aren't reduced at least 20%. If I am making between 20%-80% of what I made previously, I get the total disability benefit times the ratio of my loss of income for that month divided by my indexed prior monthly earnings. Note that with some companies, the partial disability rider will kick in at 15%.
Some contracts use “or” in the contract and others use “and” in the contracxt. For instance, a stronger policy would trigger the partial disability rider if you had a loss of income or a loss of time or a loss of duty whereas a weaker contract would require loss of income and loss of time and loss of duty where all of those triggers must be met.

Partial Disability vs. Residual Disability

Partial disability and residual disability are generally considered to be the same thing, but there is a technical difference at some companies. For example, at one company, a partial disability rider requires total disability during the elimination period and the residual disability rider does not. With another company, partial refers to the disability, such as one that only affects one part of the body (such as one arm), while residual refers to a decrease in earnings. Either way, the key is to understand how the residual/partial rider works in the policy you actually purchase.

Recovery Benefits

A physician should consider a contract that will continuing paying them a portion of their benefits upon recovery from a disability if their income continues to be down at least 15%-20%. Most carriers will pay a recovery benefit for the benefit period although one only pays for 12 months. This is especially important for practice owners. Think if a dentist were to be disabled for 6 months and then recovers and goes back to their practice. Many of their patients may have gone elsewhere because the dentist sees his patients twice a year. It could take several years to get back to where he/she was at before becoming disabled.

Recommendations for Physicians on Disability Insurance Riders

Here's an easy cheat card to help you know at a glance what we think about all of the various riders available.
https://preview.redd.it/akf6t5iqfn0d1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=3f8b415d0101d729fdfa51bc9147993309147d75

Who Needs Disability Insurance?

Nearly every high-income professional in their first decade or two out of school should own a policy. Your most valuable asset is your ability to work. So, if you do not own a disability insurance policy, you need to go get one, now. If you have an income, it's time to buy a policy, even if money is tight as a resident. The only exception is if you do not rely on your income to live. If you are already financially independent, it's OK not to buy disability insurance. However, even if you are frugal and married to another high earner, you may wish to still have a policy. You could both become disabled, or you could become divorced.

How Much Physician Disability Insurance Do I Need?

As a resident, you typically cannot afford to buy as much as you need, but you should be able to do so even as a brand-new attending. Basically, you need to buy enough disability insurance to cover both your living expenses and your retirement savings if you were to work to age 65 but not your taxes. Physician disability insurance payouts are generally tax-free since they are usually paid with post-tax dollars.
Note that how much you need has little to do with your income and everything to do with what you spend. The less you spend, the less insurance you need to buy. Insurance agents would love to sell you the largest possible policy (which usually works out to be about 2/3 of your gross income, but it is possible to combine two companies to get even more), so you'll need to decide how much you need on your own. Resident physicians typically buy a $5,000 per month benefit and attending physicians typically buy a benefit in the $10,000-$15,000 per month range, but there are plenty of docs who buy both more and less. If your plan in the event of disability is to rely on the income of your spouse, you may not need disability insurance at all.

Average Cost of Disability Insurance for Physicians

Unlike cheaper insurance policies like term life and umbrella policies, physician disability insurance is expensive, although not quite as expensive as your malpractice insurance. The reason it costs so much is it actually gets used. The likelihood of you acquiring a long-term disability during your working years is approximately seven times as high as your risk of dying in those years. A typical policy bought on a healthy doc in their 20s or 30s will cost something between 2%-6% of the benefit. If your monthly benefit is $10,000, expect to spend $200-$600 per month for that. Perhaps the sticker shock you get upon being quoted prices will motivate you to reach financial independence as soon as possible so you can cancel the policy.

Graded vs. Level Premiums

One way to save money on your policy is to get graded premiums. Not all policies offer this feature, but those that do will charge you less in the first few years and more in later years. Level premium policies charge you the same amount in premium every year. A graded premium policy accounts for the fact that you become more likely to become disabled as you go through life. However, it can be very beneficial to you because your need for insurance actually falls continually throughout your career as your build your retirement nest egg.
Once you become financially independent, you can drop the insurance completely. This is a good idea since the total benefits a policy could potentially pay are also dropping throughout your life (since the policy will generally only pay until you are in your mid- to late-60s). Many white coat investors who are great savers hit financial independence by mid-career. If you are one of those, you are likely to come out ahead using graded premiums instead of level premiums.

What Disability Insurance Discounts Are Available for Doctors?

Like other types of insurance, disability insurance is sold by agents who are paid commissions by the insurance companies to sell their products. It is a very competitive business. The insurance companies want agents, especially the independent agents you should be buying from, to preferentially sell their products. To incentivize the agents, they offer discounts that are only available through certain agents. Experienced, high-volume agents can often provide you with the same policy at a cheaper rate than a newer, lower-volume agent. Thus, it pays to use an experienced agent and shop around with two or three of them. Nearly every doctor should qualify for some type of discount on their policy—10%-30% premium discounts are not unusual. Types of discounts include:
  • Unisex discounts
  • Student/Resident/Fellow discounts
  • Multi-life institution discounts
  • Guaranteed Standard Issue (GSI) institution discounts
  • Association discounts
Learn more about physician disability insurance discounts.

How Do I Buy Disability Insurance?

The key to physician disability insurance is the independent agent. The agent is going to be paid a great commission by the insurance company no matter which policy you choose. Assuming policies with similar benefits, the commission isn't going to be all that different. Plus, these agents get plenty of business and none of them are starving, so they have little incentive to sell you an inferior policy for a slightly higher commission. Their reputation is worth far more than a few extra dollars in commission. Since you are (indirectly) paying the agent a very nice commission, don't feel bad about using their time and expertise to fully understand this complicated product.
For most doctors, this is a purchase that is only done once or twice in their life. Have the agent quote you different physician disability policies from each of the “Big 5” companies and show you the strengths and weaknesses of each. If you have a policy from work or your professional association, bring it in with you and have it included in the comparison. Then, you can know you made an educated decision and you can buy it and forget about it. Also, be sure to ask for a discount. The vast majority of doctors will qualify for a 5%-30% association or employer-related discount, and a top-notch agent will help you get that.

What Type of Disability Insurance Should I Buy?

There are two main types of disability policies: individual policies and group policies. As a general rule, individual policies have stronger definitions of disability. Many group policies are not own-occupation policies. Individual policies are also portable, in that you can change jobs and take them with you.

Individual Disability Policy

There are a number of benefits of an individual policy. The main one is that you are in control of all the details. You get to choose how much insurance you want to pay for. You get to choose which of the bells and whistles you are going to pay for. The policy is also “portable,” meaning you still have it if you change employers (or if your employer just decides to change the policy). As a general rule, the policy is also “stronger,” meaning it is more likely to actually pay you if you get disabled.

Group Disability Policy

A group policy provided by your employer is usually not portable, although sometimes you are allowed to take over the entire premium and take it with you. Group policies also frequently have premiums that increase every year or every five years, whereas an individual policy usually has level premiums. Group policies paid for by your employer may also pay a taxable benefit, rather than the tax-free benefit provided by an individual policy. Aside from the lower cost, the main benefit of a group policy is that it may be easier to qualify for. It may not require any sort of medical exam or blood work, and it may not ask any pesky questions about your medical conditions and dangerous hobbies such as rock climbing, skydiving, scuba diving, or flying.

How to Compare Disability Insurance Policies

The most important feature is the definition of disability. You want a policy with a strong, broad definition of disability that will cover any possible type of disability. That usually means “own-occupation, specialty-specific” and no limitations on things such as psychiatric conditions or addictions. This is the main difference between the “Big 5” companies and others.
Since disability is complicated, disability insurance policies are complicated. There are dozens of differences from one policy to another, making them difficult to compare. Use your independent agent for recommendations on what matters most. Just for an example, take a look at this chart of all the differences you could see between one policy and another.

When to Buy Disability Insurance?

You should buy disability insurance just before you become disabled. Since you don't know when that time could be, earlier is generally better. However, disability insurance is also expensive, and when you are young and poor, you have lots of other great uses for your money. A good compromise is to buy a small policy as you enter residency and then upgrade to a more robust disability insurance plan just before leaving residency. The younger you are, the healthier you are, and the fewer dangerous hobbies you engage in, the cheaper your premiums will be for the same benefit.

Best Disability Insurance for Physicians

I keep a list of those I consider the best disability insurance agents in the country. Save yourself the work of finding a good one you can trust and use the same agents that have been used by thousands of WCI readers in the past. You do not need someone local that you can sit down across the table from. It is better to have someone who has sold policies to hundreds of docs this year working with you by phone, Skype, Zoom, and email than someone you can sit down with who has only sold four policies. In addition, if there is some issue with one of these agents, I can usually help you resolve it quickly.
Information in this space rapidly changes. While we try to keep The White Coat Investor website as up-to-date as possible, our recommended agents are going to be our best source for updated information. I cannot emphasize how strongly I suggest you use them, whether buying your first policy or simply reviewing what you already have.
submitted by WCInvestor to whitecoatinvestor [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:34 Melodic_Computer8270 Halsin/Minthara Question

I helped Minthara escape Moonrise towers, she returned to my camp but now she's in Halsin's tent and Halsin is gone. His character card/inventory is still there as is the boy needed to cure the Shadow Curse, but the dude himself is gone.
There seem to be conflicting posts about whether you can recruit them both in a single playthrough. So, is this a glitch I can hope will clear up? Or is Halsin no longer an option because of Minthara?
submitted by Melodic_Computer8270 to BaldursGate3 [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:33 Key-Strain8650 Credit card debt questions

So my Visa card got closed I maxed it out at 5k I made a couple payments Bringin it to 4300 then long story short it went to collections . I received a letter saying I owed about 5800 . I was wondering if there was a way to get this reduced ? Most of the money due is interest . What would be the smartest way to go about this ? Lump sum ? Payments ? Can someone give me some good advice please ? I’d love to hear you r experience aswell !
submitted by Key-Strain8650 to PersonalFinanceCanada [link] [comments]


2024.05.15 22:32 ment0rr POIS: A Brief Explanation

If I can start by saying that I mean no disrespect with the writing of this post and that what is written here is based on experience and research.
Almost 5 years ago I started suffering with what is referred to here as POIS. I was 30 years old and had experienced a healthy sex life with no issues to date. At 30 years of age I found that not only did my sexual libido disappear, but that in the event I ejaculated I experienced an onslaught of negative symptoms for days or weeks on end. Depression, anxiety, headaches, insomnia, cyst acne, diarrhea, irritability, poor eyesight, hair fallings, ulcers. I could keep going.
After some years I discovered that my symptoms were the result of a dysregulated nervous system. To put it simply, the difference between a person that struggles with POIS and a normal person is down to the sensitivity of their nervous system. A sensitive nervous system could be the result of years of self-stimulation, years of stress, years of trauma, or just genetic. The more the nervous system is over-stimulated by these events, the more sensitive your nervous system becomes.
What results is a nervous system that is very easily affected by high stimulation activities such as ejaculation, caffeine, alcohol or drug consumption to name a few. POIS occurs when your nervous system becomes so overwhelmed that it gets stuck in a state of dysregulation. It is constantly unbalanced and because of this your body is constantly releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. The stress hormones are what keep the nervous system dysregulated.
Below is an image that outlines exactly how the nervous system performs on a day to day basis. The green section illustrates a normal and healthy nervous system, while yellow and red illustrates an impaired nervous system. The right column outlines the changes the nervous system makes when it is in each state. The left hand side illustrates how the more aroused a person is, the deeper into dysregulation the nervous system goes.
https://preview.redd.it/wlanmbf8fn0d1.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9f44dca385f3abba2950950297cda1fd31a108fe
You resolve a dysregulated nervous system by:
a) understanding why your nervous system is stuck in a state of dysregulation.
b) taking the necessary steps to get the nervous system back into "social engagement."
This is an extremely shallow and simplified explanation of what I believe is taking place for many here.
I am not discrediting POIS as an illness, scientific papers have outlined in detail the effects of POIS across the population. However I do believe that it is a rare illness and that many individuals here may not be experiencing POIS in the way they believe.
Hope this helps
submitted by ment0rr to POIS [link] [comments]


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