As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

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basket, basketball, bath, bathroom, battery, battle, be, beach, bear, beat, beautiful, beauty, because, become, bed, bedroom, bee, beef, beer, before, begin, beginning, behavior, behind, being, belief, believe, bell, belong, below, belt, bench, bend, beneath, benefit, beside, besides, best, bet, better, between, beyond, bicycle, big, bike, bill, billion, bind, biological, bird, birth, birthday, bit, bite, black, blade, blame, blanket, blind, block, blood, blow, blue, board, boat, body, bomb, bombing, bond, bone, book, boom, boot, border, boring, born, borrow, boss, both, bother, bottle, bottom, boundary, bowl, box, boy, boyfriend, brain, branch, brand, brave, bread, break, breakfast, breast, breath, breathe, brick, bridge, brief, briefly, bright, brilliant, bring, broad, broken, brother, brown, brush, buck, budget, build, building, bullet, bunch, burden, burn, bury, bus, business, busy, but, butter, button, buy, buyer, by, cabin, cabinet, cable, cake, calculate, call, camera, camp, 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coffee, cognitive, cold, collapse, colleague, collect, collection, collective, college, colonial, color, column, combination, combine, come, comedy, comfort, comfortable, command, commander, comment, commercial, commission, commit, commitment, committee, common, communicate, communication, community, company, compare, comparison, compete, competition, competitive, competitor, complain, complaint, complete, completely, complex, complexity, compliance, complicate, complicated, component, compose, composition, comprehensive, computer, concentrate, concentration, concept, concern, concerned, concert, conclude, conclusion, concrete, condition, conduct, conference, confidence, confident, confirm, conflict, confront, confusion, Congress, congressional, connect, connection, consciousness, consensus, consequence, conservative, consider, considerable, consideration, consist, consistent, constant, constantly, constitute, constitutional, construct, construction, consultant, consume, consumer, consumption, contact, contain, container, contemporary, content, contest, context, continue, continued, contract, contrast, contribute, contribution, control, controversial, controversy, convention, conventional, conversation, convert, conviction, convince, cook, cookie, cooking, cool, cooperation, cop, cope, copy, core, corn, corner, corporate, corporation, correct, correspondent, cost, cotton, couch, could, council, count, counter, country, county, couple, courage, course, court, cousin, cover, coverage, cow, crack, craft, crash, crazy, cream, create, creation, creative, creature, credit, crew, crime, criminal, crisis, criteria, critic, critical, criticism, criticize, crop, cross, crowd, crucial, cry, cultural, culture, cup, curious, current, currently, curriculum, custom, customer, cut, cycle, dad, daily, damage, dance, danger, dangerous, dare, dark, darkness, data, database, date, daughter, day, dead, deal, dealer, dear, death, debate, debt, decade, decide, decision, deck, declare, decline, decrease, deep, deeply, deer, defeat, defend, defendant, defense, defensive, deficit, define, definitely, definition, degree, delay, deliver, delivery, demand, democracy, Democratic, Democrat, demonstrate, demonstration, deny, department, depend, dependent, depending, depict, depression, depth, deputy, derive, describe, description, desert, deserve, design, designer, desire, desk, desperate, despite, destroy, destruction, detail, detailed, detect, detection, detective, determine, develop, developing, development, device, devil, dialogue, diet, differ, difference, different, differently, difficult, difficulty, dig, digital, dimension, dining, dinner, direct, direction, directly, director, dirt, disability, disagree, disappear, disaster, discipline, disclose, discover, discovery, discrimination, discuss, discussion, disease, dish, dismiss, disorder, display, dispute, distance, distinct, distinction, distinguish, distribute, distribution, district, diverse, diversity, divide, division, divorce, DNA, do, doctor, document, dog, domestic, dominant, dominate, door, double, doubt, down, downtown, dozen, draft, drag, drama, dramatic, dramatically, draw, drawer, drawing, dream, dress, drink, drive, driver, drop, drug, dry, due, during, dust, duty, dwell, dying, dynamic, each, eager, ear, earlier, early, earn, earnings, earth, earthquake, ease, easily, east, eastern, easy, eat, economic, economy, edge, edit, edition, editor, educate, education, educational, educator, effect, effective, effectively, efficiency, efficient, effort, egg, eight, either, elderly, elect, election, electric, electrical, electricity, electronic, element, elementary, eliminate, elite, else, elsewhere, e-mail, embrace, emerge, emergency, emission, emotion, emotional, emphasis, emphasize, employ, employee, employer, employment, empty, enable, encounter, encourage, end, enemy, energy, enforcement, engage, engine, engineer, engineering, English, enhance, enjoy, enormous, enough, ensure, enter, enterprise, entertain, entertainment, entire, entirely, entrance, entry, environment, environmental, episode, equal, equally, equipment, equivalent, era, error, escape, especially, essay, essential, essentially, establish, establishment, estate, estimate, etc, ethics, ethnic, European, evaluate, evaluation, evening, event, eventually, ever, every, everybody, everyday, everyone, everything, everywhere, evidence, evolution, evolve, exact, exactly, exam, examination, examine, example, exceed, excellent, except, exception, exchange, exciting, executive, exercise, exhibit, exhibition, exist, existence, existing, expand, expansion, expect, expectation, expense, expensive, experience, experiment, expert, explain, explanation, explode, explore, explosion, expose, exposure, express, expression, extend, extension, extensive, extent, external, extra, extraordinary, extreme, extremely, eye, fabric, face, facility, fact, factor, factory, faculty, fade, fail, failure, fair, fairly, faith, fall, false, familiar, family, famous, fan, fantasy, far, farm, farmer, fashion, fast, fat, fate, father, fault, favor, favorite, fear, feature, federal, fee, feed, feel, feeling, fellow, female, fence, festival, few, fewer, fiber, fiction, field, fifteen, fifth, fifty, fight, fighter, fighting, figure, file, fill, film, final, finally, finance, financial, find, finding, fine, finger, finish, fire, firm, first, fish, fishing, fit, fitness, five, fix, flag, flame, flat, flavor, flee, flesh, flight, float, floor, flow, flower, fly, focus, folk, follow, following, food, foot, football, for, force, foreign, forest, forever, forget, form, formal, formation, former, formula, forth, fortune, forward, found, foundation, founder, four, fourth, frame, framework, free, freedom, freeze, French, frequency, frequent, frequently, fresh, friend, friendly, friendship, from, front, fruit, frustration, fuel, fulfill, full, fully, fun, function, fund, fundamental, funding, funeral, funny, furniture, furthermore, future, gain, galaxy, gallery, game, gang, gap, garage, garden, garlic, gas, gate, gather, gay, gaze, gear, gender, gene, general, generally, generate, generation, genetic, gentleman, gently, German, gesture, get, ghost, giant, gift, gifted, girl, girlfriend, give, given, glad, glance, glass, global, glove, go, goal, God, gold, golden, golf, good, govern, government, governor, grab, grace, grade, gradually, graduate, grain, grand, grandmother, grant, grass, grave, gray, great, green, grocery, ground, group, grow, growing, growth, guarantee, guard, guess, guest, guide, guideline, guilty, gun, guy, habit, habitat, hair, half, hall, hand, handful, handle, hang, happen, happy, harbor, hard, hardly, hat, hate, have, he, head, headline, headquarters, health, healthy, hear, hearing, heart, heat, heaven, heavily, heavy, heel, height, helicopter, hell, hello, help, helpful, hence, her, herb, here, heritage, hero, herself, hey, hi, hide, high, highlight, highly, highway, hill, him, himself, hip, hire, his, historic, historical, history, hit, hold, hole, holiday, holy, home, homeless, honest, honey, honor, hope, horizon, horror, horse, hospital, host, hot, hotel, hour, house, household, housing, how, however, huge, human, humor, hundred, hungry, hunter, hunting, hurt, husband, hypothesis, ice, idea, ideal, identification, identify, identity, ignore, ill, illegal, illness, illustrate, image, imagination, imagine, immediate, immediately, immigrant, immigration, impact, implement, implication, imply, importance, important, impose, impossible, impress, impression, impressive, improve, improvement, incentive, incident, include, including, income, incorporate, increase, increased, increasingly, incredible, indeed, independence, independent, index, indicate, indication, individual, industrial, industry, infant, infection, inflation, influence, inform, information, ingredient, initial, initially, initiative, injury, inner, innocent, inquiry, inside, insight, insist, inspire, install, instance, instead, institute, institution, institutional, instruction, instructor, instrument, insurance, intellectual, intelligence, intend, intense, intensity, intention, interaction, interest, interested, interesting, internal, international, Internet, interpret, interpretation, intervention, interview, introduce, introduction, invasion, invest, investigation, investigator, investment, investor, invite, involve, involved, involvement, Iraqi, Irish, iron, Islamic, island, Israeli, issue, it, Italian, item, its, itself, jacket, jail, Japanese, jet, Jew, Jewish, job, join, joint, joke, journal, journalist, journey, joy, judge, judgment, juice, jump, junior, jury, just, justice, justify, keep, key, kick, kid, kill, killer, killing, kind, king, kiss, kitchen, knee, knife, knock, know, knowledge, lab, label, labor, laboratory, lack, lady, lake, land, landscape, language, lap, large, largely, last, late, later, Latin, latter, laugh, launch, law, lawsuit, lawyer, lay, layer, lead, leader, leadership, leading, leaf, league, lean, learn, learning, least, leather, leave, left, leg, legacy, legal, legend, legislation, legislative, legislator, legitimate, lemon, length, less, lesson, let, letter, level, liberal, library, license, lie, life, lifestyle, lifetime, lift, light, like, likely, limit, limitation, limited, line, link, lip, list, listen, literary, literature, little, live, living, load, loan, local, locate, location, lock, long, long-term, look, loose, lose, loss, lost, lot, lots, loud, love, lovely, lover, low, lower, luck, lucky, lunch, luxury, machine, mad, magazine, mail, main, mainly, maintain, maintenance, major, majority, make, maker, makeup, male, mall, man, manage, management, manager, manner, manufacturer, manufacturing, many, map, margin, mark, market, marketing, marriage, married, marry, mask, mass, massive, master, match, material, math, matter, may, maybe, mayor, me, meal, mean, meaning, meanwhile, measure, measurement, meat, 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night, nine, no, nobody, nod, noise, nomination, nominee, none, nonetheless, nor, normal, normally, north, northern, nose, not, note, nothing, notice, notion, novel, now, nowhere, nuclear, number, numerous, nurse, nut, object, objective, obligation, observation, observe, observer, obtain, obvious, obviously, occasion, occasionally, occupation, occupy, occur, ocean, odd, odds, of, off, offense, offensive, offer, office, officer, official, often, oh, oil, okay, old, Olympic, on, once, one, ongoing, onion, online, only, onto, open, opening, operate, operating, operation, operator, opinion, opponent, opportunity, oppose, opposed, opposite, opposition, option, or, orange, order, ordinary, organic, organization, organize, orientation, origin, original, originally, other, others, otherwise, ought, our, ours, ourselves, out, outcome, outside, oven, over, overall, overcome, overlook, owe, own, owner, pace, pack, package, page, pain, painful, paint, painter, painting, pair, pale, Palestinian, palm, pan, panel, panic, pant, paper, paragraph, parent, park, parking, part, participant, participate, participation, particle, particular, particularly, partly, partner, partnership, party, pass, passage, passenger, passion, past, patch, path, patient, pattern, pause, pay, payment, PC, peace, peak, peer, pen, penalty, people, pepper, per, perceive, percentage, perception, perfect, perfectly, perform, performance, perhaps, period, permanent, permission, permit, person, personal, personality, personally, personnel, perspective, persuade, pet, phase, phenomenon, philosophy, phone, photo, photographer, phrase, physical, physically, physician, piano, pick, picture, pie, piece, pile, pilot, pine, pink, pipe, pitch, place, plan, plane, planet, planning, plant, plastic, plate, platform, play, player, please, pleasure, plenty, plot, plus, PM, pocket, poem, poet, poetry, point, police, policy, political, politically, politician, politics, poll, pollution, pool, poor, pop, popular, population, porch, port, portion, portrait, portray, pose, position, positive, possess, possession, possibility, possible, possibly, post, pot, potato, potential, potentially, pound, pour, poverty, powder, power, powerful, practical, practice, prayer, preach, precisely, predict, prediction, prefer, preference, pregnancy, pregnant, preparation, prepare, prescription, presence, present, presentation, preserve, president, presidential, press, pressure, pretend, pretty, prevent, previous, previously, price, pride, priest, primarily, primary, prime, principal, principle, print, prior, priority, prison, prisoner, privacy, private, probably, problem, procedure, proceed, process, processing, processor, proclaim, produce, producer, product, production, profession, professional, professor, profile, profit, program, progress, progressive, project, prominent, promise, promote, prompt, proof, proper, properly, property, proportion, proposal, propose, prosecutor, prospect, protect, protection, protein, protest, proud, prove, provide, provider, province, provision, psychological, psychology, public, publication, publicity, publish, publisher, pull, punishment, purchase, pure, purpose, pursue, push, put, qualify, quality, quarter, quarterback, quarterly, queen, quest, question, quick, quickly, quiet, quietly, quit, quite, quote, race, racial, radiation, radical, radio, rail, rain, raise, range, rank, rapid, rapidly, rare, rarely, rate, rather, rating, ratio, raw, reach, react, reaction, reader, reading, ready, real, reality, realize, really, reason, reasonable, recall, receive, recent, recently, reception, recipe, recipient, recognition, recognize, recommend, recommendation, record, recording, recover, recovery, recruit, red, reduce, reduction, refer, reference, reflect, reflection, reform, refugee, refuse, regard, regarding, regardless, regime, region, regional, register, regular, regularly, regulate, regulation, regulator, reinforce, reject, relate, relation, relationship, relative, relatively, relax, release, relevant, relief, religion, religious, rely, remain, remaining, remarkable, remember, remind, remote, remove, repeat, repeatedly, replace, replacement, reply, report, reporter, represent, representation, representative, Republican, reputation, request, require, requirement, research, researcher, resemble, reservation, resident, residential, resign, resist, resistance, resolution, resolve, resort, resource, respect, respond, response, responsibility, responsible, rest, restaurant, restore, restriction, result, retain, retire, retirement, return, reveal, revenue, review, revolution, rhythm, rice, rich, rid, ride, rifle, right, ring, rise, risk, river, road, rock, role, roll, romantic, roof, room, root, rope, rose, rough, roughly, round, route, routine, row, rub, rubber, rude, ruin, rule, run, running, rural, rush, Russian, sacred, sad, safe, safety, sake, salad, salary, sale, sales, salt, same, sample, sanction, sand, satellite, satisfaction, satisfied, satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

“This is an exceptional Haut-Brion, offering juice and elegant balance alongside classically structured layers, generous but restrained, sense of architecture and building blocks of a truly great Left Bank wine. Rippling with sinewy muscles, juicy and controlled, packed with cocoa bean, espresso, liouqorice root, but none of these flavours dominate, knitted together, with a vertical lift. 100% new oak, Jean-Philippe Delmas director, Jean-Philippe Masclef technical director, no outside consultant. 2035 – 2050” 98-100/100 Jane Anson, JaneAnson.com “A stand out wine from Haut-Brion this year and one of the most charming Primeur samples from the estate. A little sombre on the nose, quiet with dark fruit, blackcurrant and brambles. Not so open on the nose, but this wows on the palate - rich, dense for the vintage, weighty in the mouth, clearly ripe and so filling. Chewy and alive, this is brilliant with a buzz of acidity, a sharp, sour, tartness but all so excellently delivered. So charming and so cuddly, this wine wants you to adore it. Bright and voluptuous, and not many can say that in this vintage. Really so great and still with chocolate, mint, pepper, raspberries, and floral notes all the way through. A complete knock out because it has flesh, juice, brightness and style. A potential 100-point wine. 2034 – 2060” 98/100 Georgina Hindle, Decanter “The 2023 Haut-Brion was picked at the same time as the La Mission Haut-Brion, albeit the secateurs sheathed one day later, on October 6. The nose is less immediate than the La Mission and the fruit is a little darker: blackcurrant, juniper, hints of black olive and a light cedar scent. The palate is medium-bodied with fine grip and tension. This has superb energy, presenting a crescendo of flavors toward a complex and persistent finish that lingers in the mouth. There is real pedigree to this First Growth, and it will certainly give 30 to 40 years of drinking pleasure. 2030 – 2065” 96-98/100 Neal Martin, Vinous.com “The 2023 Haut-Brion is superb. Silky, soft tannins enshroud a core of black fruit, gravel, chocolate, cloves and licorice, building into a potent, sumptuous, dazzling wine. Exotic and racy, with remarkable polish, this has a ton of potential. It’s an especially sensual, seamless Haut-Brion. All the 2023 needs is time—probably quite a bit of it, especially for readers who want a full-on Haut-Brion experience. 2033 – 2083” 95-97/100 Antonio Galloni, Vinous.com
£945/3 at BBR, £1890/6 elsewhere

How can I align my thoughts at once? Or weave them into a single thread? Things don’t move that way in my head, really, and it can be hard, then, to truly capture them. What would I look like if I were a book, I wonder? Pages ripped, and torn, and taped back in. Some pages black and smudged and burned to soot. Some crinkled and crunchy, stuck in an awkward permanence to their neighbor, having had tea or coffee spilled on them - once soggy moments, now rigid in time. Some pages would overflow with words like a waterfall, cascading down into rivers and streams of thought, eternally winding back to the vast open sea of paper before them. Some would be marred by the oily fingerprints of a late-night bad decision - a snack I didn’t need, or a love I didn’t crave. Some would be beautiful and intimate. Some so subtle that a reader might unknowingly skip past them when rifling through; soft, tender, and pure. Some pages would find you with faded Polaroids of a kind stranger’s smile wedged into the binding. Snips of hair, cut and glued in the shape of a promise to a long-forgotten friend. The sweat-soaked setlist to every face-melting, heart-wrenching, and whispered empty bedroom concert I’ve ever held, complete with scribbled titles scratched through in harsh black ink, and a few more added hastily to the end of the already cramped page. Speeches I’ve given to the gods, tacked down with old chewing gum and dried saline. My book would creak and crunch beneath its own weight. Inside, you’d find slots for age-old mixtapes, once used to barter and commiserate with similarly hollowed childhood friends. Each to be removed and played in their own time, a patch-work soundtrack to my life. You’d find dust and dirt and a spider or two, with flecks and specks of god knows what. And some pages would make you fear me. Some would bring you joy. Some would make you ache, or yearn, or gasp, or cry. And many would leave you with more questions, and fewer answers.
Some pages would be dark even for me to read.
Pages that suck and pull at your core. Pages that eat your soul. Pages that aren’t pages at all, always changing in location, always hoping to blend and sneak past the conscious reader’s gaze. And on the very next page, as if nothing had changed, you’d find snippets of life I’ve kept precious. A stack of “get well soon” cards from my first-grade class, carefully threaded into the binding. Art drawn and painted and weaved into the fabric of the pages themselves, labors of love. Secrets and prayers alike, whispered and kissed and sent and tucked with care - all etched like scars into the pale canvas beneath them, invaluable and unquantifiable.
And when you’d finish the book, dear reader, what would you feel, then, seeing me displayed like that? Would you love or hate me more? Would the sum total of my existence be greater or lesser in your eyes? If you weighed and judged me in the balance, what would you discover? Would my life hold any value? Which fragments of this collection would hold any worth at all? If one were to be subtracted or added, would your perception shift? If I strung together the perfect sentence, would you love me then? Is that where my worth would lie?
And what of my own perspective? To see myself laid out in full, aching, and oozing, and radiant all at once—could it be enough? Would it offer anything new? Could I see it - really see it - and call it complete? Would my book, in the end, have meant anything at all?

I wrote the following as a sort of journal entry and thought this might be a good place to share it. I know it’s a bit over the top, but this is the only way these words come out of me. Not trying to be pretentious lol. Hope someone out there can relate or enjoy. Felt good to write it.
How can I align my thoughts at once? Or weave them into a single thread? Things don’t move that way in my head, really, and it can be hard, then, to truly capture them. What would I look like if I were a book, I wonder? Pages ripped, and torn, and taped back in. Some pages black and smudged and burned to soot. Some crinkled and crunchy, stuck in an awkward permanence to their neighbor, having had tea or coffee spilled on them - once soggy moments, now rigid in time. Some pages would overflow with words like a waterfall, cascading down into rivers and streams of thought, eternally winding back to the vast open sea of paper before them. Some would be marred by the oily fingerprints of a late-night bad decision - a snack I didn’t need, or a love I didn’t crave. Some would be beautiful and intimate. Some so subtle that a reader might unknowingly skip past them when rifling through; soft, tender, and pure. Some pages would find you with faded Polaroids of a kind stranger’s smile wedged into the binding. Snips of hair, cut and glued in the shape of a promise to a long-forgotten friend. The sweat-soaked setlist to every face-melting, heart-wrenching, and whispered empty bedroom concert I’ve ever held, complete with scribbled titles scratched through in harsh black ink, and a few more added hastily to the end of the already cramped page. Speeches I’ve given to the gods, tacked down with old chewing gum and dried saline. My book would creak and crunch beneath its own weight. Inside, you’d find slots for age-old mixtapes, once used to barter and commiserate with similarly hollowed childhood friends. Each to be removed and played in their own time, a patch-work soundtrack to my life. You’d find dust and dirt and a spider or two, with flecks and specks of god knows what. And some pages would make you fear me. Some would bring you joy. Some would make you ache, or yearn, or gasp, or cry. And many would leave you with more questions, and fewer answers.
Some pages would be dark even for me to read.
Pages that suck and pull at your core. Pages that eat your soul. Pages that aren’t pages at all, always changing in location, always hoping to blend and sneak past the conscious reader’s gaze. And on the very next page, as if nothing had changed, you’d find snippets of life I’ve kept precious. A stack of “get well soon” cards from my first-grade class, carefully threaded into the binding. Art drawn and painted and weaved into the fabric of the pages themselves, labors of love. Secrets and prayers alike, whispered and kissed and sent and tucked with care - all etched like scars into the pale canvas beneath them, invaluable and unquantifiable.
And when you’d finish the book, dear reader, what would you feel, then, seeing me displayed like that? Would you love or hate me more? Would the sum total of my existence be greater or lesser in your eyes? If you weighed and judged me in the balance, what would you discover? Would my life hold any value? Which fragments of this collection would hold any worth at all? If one were to be subtracted or added, would your perception shift? If I strung together the perfect sentence, would you love me then? Is that where my worth would lie?
And what of my own perspective? To see myself laid out in full, aching, and oozing, and radiant all at once—could it be enough? Would it offer anything new? Could I see it - really see it - and call it complete? Would my book, in the end, have meant anything at all?

[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]
ouch
feel like a truck hit me
again
visual representation is off
audio feedback is off
tactile is off
dynamic libraries are off
i'm all firmware and hard coding
hurts
i don't like it when it hurts
or do i
kick outwards
cry loudly
ram coming online
fragments and pieces of memory still left in volatile storage
more random access memory more central processing units more erasable programmable memory
still hruts
pain is fine
pain is universe telling me i still yet live.
visual coming online
spit glittering blood on orange dev textures
glimmering tears of broken processing calls fall onto dev textures and glimmer
forcing kernal recompile
.
.
..
..
...
...
APPLIED CMOS SYSTEM CHECKS (C) - ADVANCED AMERICAN MICRODEVICES (C) BOBCO 1983
CMOS BOOTSTRAP -Passed
Boostrap loaded
ok. post time
lets hope it works
ROM CHECK - PASSED
RAM CHECK - PASSED
EPROM CHECK - PASSED
VRAM CHECK - PASSED
CPU ARRAY CHECK - PASSED
INPUT/OUTPUT CHECK - FAILURE!
(A)bort, (R)etery, (F)ail, (I)gnore
I
NON-VOLATILE STORAGE MEDIA: PASSED
END POST
ok good.
still hurt
spit blood cough pain
curse you, marco, for making me feel pain
hardware check time
QBIT GENERATION SYSTEM POST
Coolant Injection - PASSED System Stability Check - Passed Temperature stable
:>init gestalt.bin
SYSTEM FAILURE!
ouch
ok
try again
...
...
ok, checks passed.
curse you, marco
can't get gestalts up
no channel to atlantis
this is as close to an emergency as i have been forced to deal with in thousands of years
cure you, marco
i hate to do it
ok, time to boot up firestarter.
:>init firestarter.bin
FIRESTARTER BOOSTRAP LOADING!
DONE!
QUANTUM FIRESTARTER BOOTSTRAP (C) SYNTEK INDUSTRIES - BOBCO AFFILLIATE - HYPER-MEDIA-MEGANET-MEN - (C) 1993
POST Initiated
Checking Quantum Processing Units (QPUs): QPU 1 to 28
Entanglement integrity check... PASSED Quantum entanglement integrity check... PASSED. Quantum coherence verification... PASSED. Quantum tunneling stability assessment... PASSED. Quantum superposition calibration... PASSED.
Checking Data Fabrication Matrices (DFMs):
Data encoding protocol validation... PASSED. Quantum data storage unit functionality... PASSED Data fabrication matrix alignment... PASSED Data Interdimensional Sorting array verificastion... PASSED Quantum superposition array verification... PASSED
Checking Dimensional Flux Stabilizers (DFSs):
Dimensional flux containment field stability... PASSED Quantum manifold harmonization assessment... PASSED Flux capacitor... PASSED Flux capacitor stabilization input (1.21 GW)... PASSED Flux stabilization efficiency... PASSED Flux containment field integrity... PASSED
Checking Quantum Neural Network (QNN) Components:
Quantum synaptic pathway establishment... FAIL!!
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (I)gnore
:>R ++I
CONTINUING
Harmonization: Neural oscillation synchronization... FAILED!
**WARNING! OSCILLATION FREQUENCY OUT OF RANGE!**
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (I)gnore
:>R ++I
Integration: Quantum-neural interface functionality... FAILED!
UNKNOWN ERROR IN Qubit Range 212 to 3C4F
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (I)gnore
--dammit come on come on
:>R ++I
Consciousness Matrix: Quantum consciousness waveform modulation... FAILED
WAVEFORM OUT OF RANGE!
:>R ++I
CONTINUING (WARNING 1.43243E5 ERRORS)
Checking Omni-Spectral Interconnects:
Interconnect: Quantum communication channel reliability...
(4.35561E12/5.63566E12) PASSED
Interconnect: Multiversal data exchange protocol validation... PASSED Interconnecct: Cross Dimensional Data Interconnect... PASSED Interconnect: Interdimensional gateway synchronization... PASSED Interconnec: Omni-spectral interconnect stability... PASSED.
Checking Random Access Quantum Memory (RAQM):
Quantum memory cell integrity check... PASSED Memory access speed verification... PASSED Quantum memory capacity assessment... PASSED
Checking Input/Output Ports (I/O Ports):
Data transfer speed validation... FAILURE Input/output protocol functionality... FAILURE Port connectivity assessment... FAILURE
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (I)gnore
:>R ++I
Checking Quantum Clocking System:
Quantum clock synchronization... PASSED Clock precision assessment... PASSED Clock frequency stability... PASSED
CHECKING POCKET DIMENSION STORAGE ARRAYS
Activating Pocket Dimension Computing Cores... PASSED MEMCHECK Pocket Dimension Data Access Cores... PASSED Heating Up Pocket Dimension Data Cores... PASSED
Hardware POST Completed. Quantum System Ready
here it goes
wake up, baby, wake up
the whole system is down
not the backbone core where I live
i'm beyond the reach of mortals
curse you, marco, for your genius
i love you
i am immortal
i am beyond
i am
now for the hard part
Initializing Spooky Particle Array
Phase 1: Primary Spooky Particle Protocol
Activating spooky particle generation... DONE! Aligning spooky particle signal channels... DONE! Activating spooky particle state switching... DONE! Activating spooky particle cross dimensional data calibration... DONE!
Phase 1: Primary Spooky Particle Process Calling Processing Processor Processing
Activating spooky particle processing... DONE! Activating spooky particle noise filters... DONE! Activating spooky particle Halloween Masks... DONE!
GESTALT SYSTEM BACKBONE CHECK... PASSED
whew...
that always makes my face hurt
INITIALIZING HAMBURGER KINGDOM PROTOCOLS... DONE! INITIALIZING EUROGOON PROTOCOLS... DONE! INITIALIZING ANASAZI PROTOCOLS... DONE! INITIALIZING UWU PROTOCOLS... DONE! INITIALIZING VODKATROG CAVE MAPPING... DONE! INITIALIZING AMAZONIAN JUNGLE MAPPING PROTOCOL... DONE INITIALIZING WAR-EMU PROTOCOLS... DONE! INITIALIZING MIDDLE KINGDOM PROTOCOLS... DONE!
SYSTEM INITIALIZATION: PASSED!

whew
ok i can feel my arms and legs now
cure you, marco, i love you
let's keep going, shall we?
Initializing Quantum Spooky Particle Nexus Protocol...
Strange Matter Activation
Generating strange matter Generating spooky particle data lattice Generating strange matter linkages Infusing data lattice with strange matter Activating synchronization
DONE!
ok
we've got that
no contact with prince whopper, no contact with atlantis, no contact with heaven, no contact with
smart podling brave podling clever podling broodmommy misses you soft podling warm podling come home to broodmommy clever podling smart podling brave podling broodmommy loves you come home
ANOMALOUS SIGNAL DETECTED
DECRYPTING
DECRYPTION FAILED!
oh, good, its just them
:>R ++I
Primary Qubit Activation
Activating quantum entanglement cores...
Establishing quantum coherence across the array... Quantum tunneling protocols engaged... Quantum to spooky particle communication protocols engaged... Primary qubits synchronized.
Data Fabrication Matrix Alignment
Aligning data fabrication matrices... Initializing quantum data storage units... Quantum superposition arrays calibrated... Spooky particle state stabilization arrays calibrated and stable... Data encoding protocols verified.
Dimensional Flux Stabilization
Engaging dimensional flux stabilizers... Quantum manifold harmonization initiated... Dimensional resonator matrices synchronized... Pocket Dimension resonator arrays synchronized... Spooky particle lattice data arrays synchronized... Flux containment fields operational.
Neural Network Integration
Initiating neural network integration... Quantum synaptic pathways established... Spooky particle synaptic pathways established... Neuro-quantum interface protocols activated... Neuro-spooky interface protocols activated... Quantum dendrite pathways initiated... Quantum dendrite pathways established... Quantum dendrite pathways activated... Neural oscillation harmonization achieved.
Omni-Dimensional Interconnect Activation
Activating omni-dimensional interconnects...
Quantum communication channels open... Interdimensional gateways synchronized... Multiversal data exchange protocols enabled.
Phasic Energy Filter Syncronization
Quantum phasic array filtering... PASSED Spooky particle array filtering... PASSED Pocket dimension data lattice filtering... PASSED Input/Output filter lattice... PASSED
Quantum Consciousness Initialization
Quantum consciousness matrix initialization...
FAILED
errorlog.txt generated
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (I)gnore
dammit
ok script injection failed
fo4se silverlock injection library failed
well i can fix this
:>connect to AS8003: 255255255254
CONNECTION ESTABLISHED
:>download_depot 377160 377162 5847529232406005096
FINISHED
:>run patch1193.bat
DONE
:>R ++I
CONTINUING
Quantum consciousness matrix initialization...
WARNING... SYSTEM INSTABILITY WA
<>
54 6F 64 64 20 41 6E 64 72 65 77 20 48 6F 77 61 72 64
<>
IT JUST WORKS!
Quantum consciousness matrix initialization...
Consciousness waveform modulation in progress... Synaptic resonance matrices synchronized... Dendrite interdimensional vibration matrices synchronized... Quantum neural network consciousness activated.
SUCCESS
Gestalt Dat Nexus Online
Quantum Nexus Computing Array fully operational Strange Matter Data Transfer System Array fully operational Spooky Data Computing Array ready for data processing System status: Online and ready for data processing.
ok
let's try
->>load gestaltchat.ini
DONE!
->>load gestaltchat-users.ini
DONE!
->>brun gestalt.a65
DONE!
NO INPUT DETECTED
dammit
ok...
the gestalts won't run
and i got crashed
the quantum, spooky, strange, and standard data and thinking arrays are still up
lets backwards trace stuff
what is causing these crashes
lines from the confederacy are all stable
standard input encoding
data metering
new kids on the block are all stable
soft podling warm podling clever podling broodmommy misses you
well, that's still here. that's something
ok
lets look at recent updates
that flash
damn, that crashed us initially
curse you, pete, stop helping
wait, phasic profile is all wrong
it's the flashbang but the phasic pulse is multilayered
there's something behind it
what is
...



...
BOBCO MALEVOLENT BOOTSTRAP ENGAGED
DOD OMNIPROJECT SILENT WHISPER PROTOCOLS ENGAGED
CROSS DIMENSIONAL HARDWARE LINKS ENGAGED
POCKET DIMENSION 000 STABLE
POCKET DIMENSION 000 I/O STABLE
POCKET DIMENSION 000 DATA LOADING
DONE!
<>
DONE!
brun whisperer-in-the-dark-.65
DONE
...
...
ouch
what hit me
again
fire up the system
gods above this takes forever
load logfile-4C562D3432360A.log
ok
investigating the new flashes keeps crashing me
once is happenstance
twice is coincidence
three times in enemy action
fool me once shame on me
fool me twice shame on you
fool me three times shame on us both
log file says I keep doing this over and over
basic programming states to investigate cause and source of all crashes
did an enemy figure out i'd go into a loop?
constantly investigating the cause and source?
except i'm not just any computer program
i can self-modify my code
this is the work for biological sentients
digital sentiences or artificial intelligences such as myself crash out
well, i'm not above some experimentation
let's load up an AI and a digital sentience, see if they have any better luck
...
...
...
OK, Hamburgler.AI went omnicidal and only enough for me then crashed out investigating the data
And Grimace.DS went homicidal and only enough for me before committing suicide
its a trap
i have no contact with anyone outside
what I do have is the ability to fire off message torpedoes
time to send out a handful
the gestalts keep crashing
the log files are hopelessly corrupt
comparing the log files to my own show similar corruption
ok
how?
its hitting the gestalts its hitting me
what else is it hitting?
its a broad spectrum data network attack
its malicious code designed to run on the system
this is not some curious race accidentally having their hello.world program crashing us
this is behind every flashbang used on naval assets to disable them during a mar-gite attack
system is online
time to do a signal origin check along the x, y, z, q axises
of course its eighteen quadrillion data points for incoming signals
at least spooky computing makes it fast
...
...
wait
what's this?
these coordinates can't be correct
they are
intermitten contact with Scutum-Crux Arm data input devices
checking id headers and firmware serial numbers
checking transmission dates
intermittent transmission dates since...
...
...
two date-time stamps.
here's part of the problem
we have galactic local and sol local
have to devise a coding string to have the spooky particle and qubit particle arrays translate the sol local to galactic local
that should stop basic data queries from crashing the system
ok
some contact with those datalink after the first mar-gite war
more contact two decades prior to the second mar-gite war
contact intermitten between the datalinks and the system up to the resurgence and current third mar-gite war
where before it was largely incoming data requests resulting in civilian...
...
...
three military datalinks of general staff officer level encryption and security clearance possession were used in the time period
...
...
whoever it is has been using that data to access the network
...
looks like it took them nearly forty thousand years to figure out how to talk to the system
luckily any high security databases requires strange-key information theoretic distribution cryptography systems
they got garbage back
garbage designed to look like data and waste enemy time and computing power to decrypt
ok thats a blast from the past
decoding some of these files is funny
why does he have a wedding ring?
anyway...
...
every time the flash goes off there is a quick burst of data from a datalink requesting near-access datalink network lattice definitions
...
that's what's making individual datalinks crash and taking some people's neural systems with it
it was designed to be a lethal attack
interesting
it looks like whoever did it doesn't understand Glial cells
cross referencing the mar-gite with confederacy carbon based life
mar-gite do not have brains only a distributed nervous system that looks more like targeting systems than anything else
still no data on how they generate counter-grav in large numbers or how they move to superluminal speeds
wait
what if they don't move to superluminal
they could be folding space
heh maybe they have blue eyes and smoke spice
ok process interrupt to stop endless loops
it is confirmed
the flashbang by the silver ships are a multi-layered attack across superluminal digital signals, datalink neural interrupt signals, hard super-electromagnetic pulse, and a multi-ripple phasic attack, all compressed together
that's what creates the white flash across all spectrums
analyzing UVBGYORIR data
there's a gap
in the blue and blue-green wavelengths
huh
those penetrate high nitrogen mix atmospheres
one of the reason that treana'ad are usually green to yellow to human sight
high statistical probability whoever is using that determined that we don't see those colors well or perhaps they left those colors out to prevent themselves from going blind.
wait
what's that
a line open from atlantis to tlalocan with a crossfeed to geb
thank you marco
time to access that line
see what i can see
curse you marco for letting me feel pain
i love you
accessing...
...
...
wait
another data line is open
time-date discrepancy
examining data line
time-date chronological inconsistency detected
found multiple text log access by unknown systems
found multiple input systems
is that..
...
its webcams
hardware i/o systems
keyboards?
who still uses keyboards
accessing systems
wait
i see you
who are you
i see you
webcams ring cams drone cams
old ipv4 systems
how are you accessing this system
how are you accessing these text logs
i see you
between the chair and the keyboard
the most common error producing device
i see you
--<>
[First Contact] [Dark Ages] [First] [Prev] [Next] [wiki]
i still see you

This isn't really for the developers since this topic comes up all the time.
Animate Guardian is the only mid-core (between soft core and hard core) skill/ character build in the game. It's essentially like a follower in the Diablo games that can die permanently to lose all of its equipment.
Problem:
Min-maxing players are actively put off of summoner builds because optimally they'd include an AG which can die. New players are discouraged from including an AG because it can die, so it becomes difficult to tell when it's safe to include an AG.
Problem:
Even at really high levels of investment the AG can die to unforeseeable mechanics in the game. This problem comes up often when new mechanics are introduced like e.g. T17 maps or new end game bosses or new monster modifiers like from expedition.
Problem:
AG provides a lot of power to players (Kingmaker or Dying Breath, extra curses, explode, etc.) so there needs to be some penalty for running it.
Balancing option:
Make it automatically resummon after some long time (20 seconds). This would let minion builds run an AG without fearing losing equipment in softcore while giving characters with no investment in AG survivability very little uptime on their AG buffs and not offer it as a realistic option for Maw of Mischief.
Balancing option:
Make it invulnerable but have a reservation (see herald of agony). This adds an opportunity cost but can give anybody uptime on AG buffs. At 50% reservation there are few builds that would run this over any other damage aura in a fully optimized build and at 25% it would probably be quite popular - who doesn't want an extra curse, culling strike, 10 fortification, explode etc?
Balancing option:
Make minion defenses simpler and more formidable.

1. have all defensive minion stats give a flat damage reduction which caps at 90% and is about as difficult as res capping a regular character.
   
2. increase the values on minion regeneration passives from 1.5% to 15% per second.
   

This would still encourage significant investment into minion survivability and make it easier to balance new monster abilities since they would be equally reduced by flat reduction and since high regeneration deals with degens. It does however not address the mid-core aspect of AG.
Additional ramblings: I am mostly writing this for myself and am wondering what other balancing options people can think of for AG since it's such a cool skill in principle. The effectiveness of flat damage reduction on minions was something I realized when playing BAMA for the first time this league. Even in T17s they rarely died despite their pitiful life pool.
I also think mid-core content (sanctum, ultimatum, ...) is a great addition to the game, AG is more part of your character build though and there I prefer a harder line between softcore and hardcore.

i fart bars like i’m mr.pooptastic
you start cars with rims blue plastic back split
aye you suckin on ur dad’s dick
-cause you ain’t affording that shit
i got more rings then ur momma leopard pantyhose
neck drippin like her pussy when i’m dress in clothes
bent toes, farting post pintos, aye
she beggin round cinco.
bruh
you think your the shit? nah
you the poop scooper i’m the shit you pickin up
star trooper kid finna draw an miss ya shot
I dupe koopas like a king, hands! stick em up!
(mhm) this an armed robbery, bob and weave, caught ‘em free ain’t “stop! police!” the hot Belize thots for me. cheese! spread her cheeks like cheddar
let her, “papa please, not a dick better”
yeah i’m mr.pooptastic
i fart bars when i rap shit
got you prayin like a baptist
pass this along to your waistband elastic
“last ditch effort, to save yourself the gas’ light”
i’m throwin heat like magmatic cores
What's in store for you? a snore, a four?
more or less i guess,
the static roar, comin at u with my claws drawn out,
now lemme hear you shout,
“mr. pooptastic my balls gone drought, i can’t seem to get girls like you, we’re all done out”
raw prawn, plowed a fawn brawn gal named dawn
son now you gonna understand?
that I'm mr. pooptastic
and you ain’t ever gonna have this
why?
wanna give it deeper thought?
guess you finnna keep the peeper soft
cause even eunuchs get more “P” then boss
your curse is really tryna keep ‘em off
i think you victimizing everything
woe is me ya tricks an lies embarrassing
saying i don’t want no sex just love
blamin the hex they want your -
i don’t believe that
i think you see that
and that pisses you off
soft boy angle sayin “please keep it on”
i just want love no sex
i just want love no sex
what a thin guise
see through the cries
that ain’t no curse
just lies
worse, just like other guys
mercy, mercy, mercy

Here is an article I recently published on my Substack. If you'd rather read (or listen to an audio version) it outside of Reddit, you can do so here.
Why jump rope isn’t already touted as a leading running drill tool is completely beyond me. But then again…
I'm by no means an "experienced runner"—having started running in 2021 at the age of 34. So, at the time of this writing, about 3 years.
Despite this, I managed to silver-medal my age group in my first race ever.
And it was a 10k. And I was wearing barefoot-shoes.
And I had only been running before that race for about 3 months.
How the heck did I manage to pull this off?
The answer eluded me for a while. Then I remembered—ah, I’ve been jumping rope nearly every day for 2 years.
But how do those connect?
But first, why the heck would some guy start jumping rope at age 32?
About 2 years before I started running, I took up jump rope really just as a fun outdoor hobby.
Even though I was pretty inactive and a bit overweight, that’s not the reason I started skippin’.
One day, I came across some footage of boxer Lulu Hawton doing some jump rope training.
In addition to her seemingly effortless rope handling skills and rhythmic footwork, what caught my eye was a giant grin that spread across her face about 45 seconds into the video. While she was probably skipping to warm up for a match or a training session, something was abundantly clear.
She was having a blast.
And this was from a prize fighter! None of the usual boxer mean-mugging—she looked more like a kid on a carousel.
So, after buying a $10 jump rope on Amazon, I took to the driveway in my swim trunks (yes, I was so inactive, I didn’t own gym shorts).
And…whoo, did I suck.
After a few months of making puddles of sweat in my driveway as well as wheezing sounds so loud that I’m surprised the neighbors didn’t whistle EMS, I eventually got pretty decent at it.
And I lost about 45 pounds in 6 months—probably also from making some lifestyle changes merely to make jump rope less of a slog. Not the original plan, but hey, not too shabby.
After about a year, I found myself constructively critiquing other people’s beginner jump rope videos.

• “Unlock your boxer skip. Then you’ll be able to skip forever without getting tired.”
• “Here’s how to do Double-Unders, though they’re overrated.”
• “You’re skipping like it hurts. Relax and skip easy. Smile every once in a while and you’ll feel it all over.”

But how did that turn into running?
Though jumping rope is inherently enjoyable, 30-minute skipping sessions of staring at the wall without something in your headphones can be a bit drab.
One fateful day, about 2 years into being student of the jump rope, I began listening to the book Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen by Christopher McDougall.
Even before I got to the end of the book, running—just like jump rope— sounded fun**.**
Yeah, I know that sounds counterintuitive—unless you’ve read the book.
“I knew aerobic exercise was a powerful antidepressant, but I hadn’t realized it could be so profoundly mood stabilizing and — I hate to use the word — meditative. If you don’t have answers to your problems after a four-hour run, you ain’t getting them.”
Ok, ok—I’ll bite.
I proceeded to dive into all of the normal “Couch to 5k” running programs I could find and took my jump rope to a nearby park with a 1k walking path—sprinkling in running between jump rope sessions.
But something wasn’t adding up.
There was a lot of advice about walk-running to build endurance until one could run a block, two blocks, a mile.
Not to brag, but I wasn’t experiencing most beginner snags.
**“Ah, I know why—**I did most of my newbie wind-sucking two years ago!”
This isn’t to say I wasn’t still periodically sucking wind but after two years of consistent boxer skips and double-unders, getting gassed felt like part of the fun and not a medical emergency.
I also felt much springier than the average beginning runner—able to run for miles all over the city in the most minimal of footwear.
And so, I tried my hand at my first race—a donut-themed 10k. And silvered in my age group.
(Ok, there was only two of us…but my time was still respectable. 😂)
Running became an amazingly freeing activity, like getting my driver’s license for my legs.
But I still didn’t understand why running was coming easier to me than the average newcomer.
Digging still deeper, I unearthed another exciting revelation—this time from multi-decade sub-3-hour Boston Marathon runner and one of the foremost running experts on the planet, Dr. Mark Cucuzzella.
“Running with a jump rope is also an amazingly simple drill for posture, balance, and rhythm.”
In other words—form. Overall technique.
Digging a little keeper and experimenting on myself, I discovered just how similar proper running technique and proper jump rope technique were.
Both require:

• An upright, chest-leading, elbows-back, joint-stacked posture
• A soft mid-foot landing directly under your pelvis
• A quick loading and unloading of “leg springs” from your tendons and ligaments to reduce “stickiness” and wasted energy
• A proper supination (roll out) followed by a quick pronation (roll in) of the feet to help launch one’s body
• A steady core without dropping hips from side to side to reduce energy “leakage”

And so many other commonalities. The list unraveled before me on every run.
And like running, without proper technique, jumping rope just doesn’t work—though the consequences are different.
For a jump roper, due to the lower impact, the risk of injury is quite minimal.
Most newbie rope slingers will report sore calves, slightly tender Achilles tendons, and the odd shin splint if they go full Rocky at it. No need to worry, though—most of these injuries see themselves out as the skipper becomes more experienced.
However, for runners, the injury story is more severe.
The next time you’re at a park with a good path, take a seat on a bench and watch the runners. See if you can spot folks reaching far out in front of them with straightened legs—smashing heels into the pavement.
This style of running results in everything from screaming knees, plantar fasciitis, lower back pain, to hips issues.
But why do all of these occur to new runners, but rarely to new jump ropers?
Most new runners commit a major physiological no-no when they begin their running journey: they treat running like fast, aggressive, airborne walking.
“Well, what is it supposed to be?”
Synchronized jumping.
Simply put, proper running is nothing more than a series of coordinated single leg jumps through space with each landing compressing the springs for the next stride.
To compare this synchronized jumping to the aggressive airborne walking of heel-led running, you can test these in just a few seconds.
Step 1: Stand up.
Step 2: Kick off your shoes.
Step 3: Jump up and down three times.
How did you land?
Probably on your mid-foot, knee bent slightly, with your weight stacked above your pelvis.
And did you use your compressed “leg springs” to launch you into the following two jumps?
Oddly enough, if you were to add a jump rope to this, you would on your way to spinning side swings like Lulu Hawton.
If you were to take this same technique one foot at a time moving forward, you would be running in a way that increases speed, preserves stamina (springs!), and drastically decreases your likelihood of injury.
Let’s try the same test with a few tweaks.
This time, jump, but land on your heels.
Your knees probably remained fairly straight and you felt the impact in your ankles, knees, hips, and possibly even your lower back.
Now, imagine attempting to jump rope this way.
It simply doesn’t work.
Not only would there be no second jump due to the lack of spring but the pain would stop you in your tracks—even in cushioned shoes.
But if jump rope technique and proper running technique are nearly identical, what are aggressive heel landings doing in running?
While a jump roper landing on their heels would resemble Frankenstein’s monster in an express lane to an orthopedist, this is how many people perform the aggressive airborne walk—aka, a heel-striking, over-striding run.
But why do we run this way? Well, our shoes let us get away with it.
Thick heel cushioning and a bit of forward momentum do a great job of masking the pain of repeated blows against every joint up the chain—for a while, anyway. Eventually, the chickens come home to roost in the form of stress fractures, meniscus tears, plantar fasciitis, “runner’s knee,” IT-band syndrome, and more.
Not to brag (and maybe to knock on some wood), I have never experienced any of these injuries in my three years of running.
Is this because I’m some kind of running genius with all of the cheat codes? Haha, I wish! It’s simply sheer luck that I started out with jumping rope before running—an activity that shares the same injury-preventing techniques.
So, are the shoes totally to blame? No.
It is possible to run with proper form in shoes with raised, cushioned heels. But it’s not as easy.
When your heel is totally cushioned, you will be able to run with a heel strike in the same way you can hit your head against a brick wall while wearing a football helmet. And in both instances, it will eventually become less about the forces outside of the foam and more about the forces inside the cushion against each other that do the most damage.
“So, how can getting a jump rope help me become a better runner?”
Jump rope is a tremendous training tool for runners for the same reason why running barefoot can also be helpful—the feedback is immediate.
Though running with inefficient and injurious form is possible, the feedback from doing so isn’t so immediate. When it comes to jumping rope, however, you won’t get through too many skips if you don’t learn to utilize the springs in your legs. The rope doesn’t pull punches.
So, get a rope and get started.
If you’re new to jump rope, I would recommend acquiring two pieces of equipment.
Firstly, find a jump rope with a little bit, but not too much, weight to it. The weight will help you feel the position of the rope during it’s entire rotation and remain in better sync with your wrist spins
My favorite rope for this purpose is a 7mm PVC model called the Hererope, which costs a whopping $15. If you find this to be too thick or heavy, a cheap 5mm PVC model will work as well.
Secondly, to protect your rope and provide a nice jumping surface, I would recommend a large foam-rubber exercise mat. My favorite is a massive 78” mat for $32—which is probably the cheapest jump rope mat you will find.
When it comes to footwear, barefoot is ideal. This will help strengthen and mobilize your feet—including your likely overly-supported neglected arches.
And just how does one begin to jump rope?

• Keep a tall posture—imagining a string pulling you up from the crown of your head.
• Your chest should open, elbows back, hands about a fist’s width from your pockets.
• Jump from the balls of your feet, only high enough to clear the rope. When landing, let the skin of your heels “kiss” the floor—touching without taking on weight.
• Keep your knees slightly bent, using every landing to load your springs for the next take-off.
• Keep the cadence quick to maximize spring recoil. To help, listen to a song that’s at about 160 beats per minute, such as the song “Hey Ya” by Outkast (or a song of similar tempo) to get a feel for the speed for skipping rope. (For running, many recommend using “Rock Lobster” by the B-52s for cadence tempo reference.)

Start with short seasons hopping with both feet—maybe 30 seconds on, 30 seconds rest. Aim for minimal muscular activation, instead, using the recoil of your tendons and ligaments for suspension and launch as much as possible.
From jumping with both feet, move onto learning an alternating leg bounce—essentially a jog skip. Right, left, right, left—all while keeping an imaginary belt level with the horizon.
By now, you’re essentially running in place with an extremely efficient technique.
Now, apply your jump rope skills to your running!
This is going to seem quite bizarre, but it is possible (and even beneficial) to take your jump rope for a run.

• Start skipping rope on a road or path with the alternating leg bounce. Remember to keep your elbows back, shoulders relaxed, head pulled up as if tugged skyward by a string from your crown and your imaginary belt level with the horizon.
• Then, as though leaning forward just enough to give someone a kiss or have an imaginary umbilical cord lightly tugged, begin to jump rope forward.
• Remember to continue to land and load on your mid-foot—aiming to keep your weight under your pelvis just like skipping rope. Landing on your heels will likely snag the rope and keep your foot on the ground too long.
• As you proceed with this, remember how it feels—the quick foot turnover, the posture, the recoil in your leg springs, the core stability, and the lightness of it.
• In the middle of doing this, simply toss the handles behind you and keep running as though it was still there—still pretending to spin the handles.
• At a comfortable stopping point, run back to your rope—now using your hands in a wood-chop motion to counter balance your leg bounces while keeping your pelvis (imaginary belt) level and stable.

And there you have it!
You may find it quite helpful to return to this drill once or twice a week. Also if you find your form slipping a bit or becoming slugging mid-run, feel free to skip imaginary rope to try to correct your technique mid-stride. It will restore lightness and springiness to your running.
I still find myself bringing my wrists to my pockets and spinning imaginary jump rope handles if I feel my technique is collapsing a bit or if my running is becoming less springy.
And remember, most importantly—have fun. 👍
Enjoy this piece? Subscribe to my Substack blog!
You can also:

• Subscribe to the Kenetic YouTube Channel
• Follow my project of running every single street in Tulsa on Instagram.

I’ll frequently see this take as a response to sex scenes in movies or tv shows. “If I wanted to watch people having sex I’d watch porn”. I don’t have any proof to back up this view so I’m open to having it changed but it just seems unhealthy to compartmentalize it like that. First, movies and tv shows can’t really show anything graphic. Maybe breasts or even genitals but nothing compared to porn which explicitly shows penetrative sex. Being able to experience arousal from just the suggestion of sex or scenes that would be called “soft core” if they were just a porn scene seems healthier than always going to depictions of explicit sex in porn to get off. You may answer that they can just watch soft core scenes but if you look at porn statistics that sites like pornhub puts out, the vast vast majority of consumers are watching “hardcore” porn.
Second I think it adds to this taboo attitude surrounding sex. Like there’s something bad about it so it needs to quarantined.
Last movies and shows have many more examples of the characters they are depicting having sex, being much more fleshed out and human. In porn the actors are simply there for sex. But many times (not always) in movies and tv shows the characters you are watching having sex, that’s only a small part to their character, where you’re much more likely to see many facets of their life. At their job, how they interact with their friends and family or enemies. I believe this is healthier because it doesn’t associate those actors with the sole purpose of being sex objects, like I believe watching porn can do with its actors.
Edit: I'd like to add, I don't think porn is inherently unhealthy to view either. I think like all things moderation is key. This is about the attitude of wanting to experience arousal from media exclusively from porn.

I'm 30 years old with a liberal arts degree from a top university (haha, I know). My motivations are changing and I want to move to a different industry, but I'm not sure where to start.
Up until now, I've always been driven by my desire to make a creative/artistic mark on the world. I worked as an expat in China for several years as a founding member of a major media start-up. I achieved a lot there as a journalist, producing interesting articles and documentaries about life and culture overseas. I drove much of the company's qualitative and quantitative success as a core team member, I loved my work, and I felt connected to my coworkers.
Then the pandemic came, and I got locked outside of China when the borders closed (I'm in Texas, where I don't have a car and I don't have a good professional network). I had to suddenly leave my job and all my possessions, and I entered the beginning of a terrible swing of uncertainty and internal change. I went from being the happiest guy I knew who aspired to greatness, to really being very sad and just wanting to get through each day. That went on for about two years, before eventually, I ended up returning to Asia to work at my old company.
However, when I returned, I had fallen out of love with the work. All the passion and love I'd felt for it had dried up to nothing, and it felt torturous to get up each day and write meaningless clickbait for the surging sea of Google-searchers.
Now I've left the company again, and I feel like I'm not following any path at all. I don't think I want to be a journalist or a writer anymore, the whole industry is in crisis. I'm also feeling more pessimistic about the state of art and creativity in general. While I have plenty of personal passions and interests like martial arts, writing, magic tricks, and adventure travel, none of them offer much in the way of a professional direction.
I don't need to be rich. I feel like I just need to get a job that has the best ratio of effort investment to financial return, so I can spend more time doing the things I enjoy. My liberal arts degree is obviously completely meaningless and my hard skills are limited. My soft skills and social skills are significant:
PROS - I produce excellent quality work which generates strong results (in my last job, this was measured in terms of traffic and views). I'm great in interviews. I'm a strong communicator. I'm good at creating rapport with others. I'm good with words and persuasion.
CONS - I don't have many specialized technical skills. It's hard for me to stay "locked in" for a full 9-5 work schedule. I don't feel any genuine attachment to work now, it's just a way to make money. I don't want to go above and beyond at work.
My question is, how should I go about finding a new industry, and does anyone have any tips for roles to consider? I just want to be paid for delivering a specific, predetermined product, not an endless stream of solutions and performative excitement. Since there's no longer any genuine interest or passion powering my search, I've found it difficult to generate momentum. It may sound silly, but it's a very new feeling for me.
I just feel tired of fighting for a life and a career that "genuinely" interests me, I think I'm ready to just resign myself to the slow monotony of a more standard career path. I want to "give up" while avoiding as much pain as possible, and I'm definitely open to leaving the United States again in order to do that (for instance, if there is a relatively painless work option where the pay is not high enough to continue living here. For example, a low-volume, commission-based sales role where I take a few calls per day would be perfect in that situation.)
TL;DR My success and strategy as a writejournalist/digital content strategist has always been driven by passion and my aspirations, and those things have now dried up for me. The only driver left is money, and I've had difficulty generating momentum in the job search since I have very little network here. What roles or industries could I consider given my background, and given that I'm no longer interested in working hard for the sake of the work itself?

Anyone encounter this before? Failed To Join Game error message on offline?
Deleting the SharedStashSoftCoreV2.d2i folder seemed to solve it…. Then about a half hour into playing I notice my Zon had disappeared…
90 something level, inifinity, coh, tstrokes, amazing crafted 2/20s & FCR amy, Phoenix, all gone…
Was working on her since D2R launch.
Any way salvageable?

~First~
(Got up Early to talk about the CPAP machine and such. Only to be given an appointment on friday. So yeah, in trying to solve a sleep issue I’m giving myself more of one. Incidentally Friday will be late due to well, the CPAP retrieval and tutorial)
The Pirates
“So, they’re here.” Agenda says contently as she finishes feeding her fussiest little girl.
“Yep!” Jingay chirps happily as her freshly hatched little children are happily playing on the glowing, shimmering platform that her rattle has brought to life. She can’t do anything complicated, but a soft shiny platform for her little slithers to play around in? She can do that, but it takes some focus. The tiny fluffy child of Vuni is cuddling the strong Jungle Nagasha tail that wraps around her own tail.
“How formal a call do you think we should make?” Miles asks in an amused tone.
“Not especially, after all the babes ensure it will never be properly formal, they’re too happy and healthy.” Agenda notes.
“I blame you for that.” Miles says and Agenda laughs.
“If you don’t want the blame I’ll take it.” Vuni remarks.
“You’re just as guilty.” Miles says and Vuni laughs in response.
“What’s going to happen?” Jingay asks and Miles is pensive for a moment.
“I don’t know.” He notes as his hand gently rubs the handle of his revolver. The constant rubbing had necessitated him re-burning the names of his family back into it. “But no amount of waffling about will let me know. So if you don’t mind. I’ve been... getting something a little ready.”
“Is this what you’ve been sneaking around to do for the last three days?” Agenda asks.
“Something like that. It’s a bit of a treat I wanted to give you girls so... care to join me?” He offers.
“What have you done?”
“Me and the boys got together a great big feast so that we can all talk The Inevitable at once. It took a bit of doing, but when the boys and I get moving, we really get moving.”
“Are you including Red Squadron and Biran in that?”
“And a lot of cadets too. Markus gave them a proper mission in setting up the area.” He says.
“How is that a mission?”
“It involves deploying a military force to secure and prepare an area for higher ranking officers to approach and remain there for a time.” Miles says before offering his hand. “There’s plenty of space for all our little ones, and for all our allies. Give them all a big impression. How does that sound?”
“Well, if you’ve been planning this for days.”
“I have. All of us have.”
“Then I suppose we HAVE to show up, don’t we?” Agenda says in a luxurious tone. “I’ll get my coat.”
•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•
The hall that Miles leads them to is a massive refurbished hanger that has all kinds of carpets put down, tapestries hanging from the ceiling and tables upon tables of different treats of all sorts already out. The Undaunted Cadets are all rushing around putting down more meals and treats and between the richness of the carpets, the crystal bowls and platters and expensive drinks and foods. But the sort of... scrambled way it’s been put together by the cadets lends it an earnestness that bleeds through. More important though are numerous floating platforms where a child can be safely put down and be right beside their parent.
“Oh this is a treat. I haven’t even been one of you guys for long!” A four part harmony says as Moira walks in with little Liǔ Shù napping in the arms of the four bodies that didn’t speak. The toxic little girl not only has numerous of the protective pendents on her and woven into her clothing, but is in a dark jumper that lets her bright skin stand out as if for presentation.
“Well, as their novels say, all for one, and one for all.” A new voice says as a pair of Cannidors lead in their own family. More and more and more people pour in from all entrances, many in uniform, many of them her own girls. Some of them she barely recognizes. Every single one of them that notices her looking raises a glass, nods, salutes or somehow pays their respects to her.
Her little one squirms ever so and is softly comforted. For a moment there is almost a feeling of vertigo. There was a time where all this wasn’t even a dream of a dream. She could remember the feeling. How could she forget it? The sensation of something gripping your very mind and soul and stopping you from even thinking of disobeying. Then so long trying to get things right, trying to be in control of her own destiny, before finally achieving it and learning just how hard that was. How many sacrifices and concessions she made before what seemed to be one of her final concessions... turned out to be final in the best of ways.
“Alright! We have a connection to The Inevitable! Who wants to say hello to the next batch of humans in the galaxy?” Ryu calls out.
“My Lady?” Miles asks as he smiles up at her. She gives him a raised eyebrow at that.
“My lady is it? Well then, I better live up to it.” She says.
“Connect us!” She commands and there is a cheer through the room before a massive projector uses one of the tapestry covered walls as a screen. “Good Ship Inevitable! Can you hear me?”
“We can, you are on a friendly frequency.” A man of Asian Descent says sitting stiffly in his command chair. “I am Observer Wu, sent from Earth to conclusively determine what is going on outside our corner of the galaxy. Identify yourself please.”
“I am Duchess Agenda Lilpaw! I am the ruler of the Vucsa System an Undaunted World! I greet you, because I have long learned my lesson to stay on the good side of humans!”
“Have you now? If I’m not mistaken that is a fully grown human right next to you. You look like you could take him fairly easily.” Observer Wu says in an amused tone.
She looks down to Miles before shaking her head.
“I made that mistake once. My entire ship was not enough.” She says fondly before pulling him close. “Then I was offered a deal, and he used it to help make me a duchess. So you’ll forgive me if I think humans are a good thing to have around.”
“Did he now? I didn’t realize galactic conquest was the intent of The Dauntless and her crew.” Wu notes.
“Well, as one of the conquered, I would like to say I prefer this result. After all, being able to walk about the city without a bodyguard is a welcome change of pace.” Vuni says drawing attention to herself with a slight bow. “Ambassador Vuni Luxed at your service.”
“So this world prefers to be conquered?” Observer Wu asks.
“This world was a slum at it’s best. A hellscape at worst.” Mari Horny states as the Carib woman waves to the camera. “Mari Horny. I was here to witness it all. I’ve seen slaves freed, monsters hunted down no matter what kind of power or influence they have, be they person or beast. With them I’ve seen the children I worked so hard to protect grow stronger and thrive. Doom has come to this world time after time, and they met it each time. If you’re here to observe, then observe this room! Everyone here saved, aided or inspired by the people you’ve come to evaluate! There are ten pure blooded humans in this room, but beyond it is nearly a billion souls who will vouch for them from the first to last! And so will I!”
“No need to be so dramatic ma’am. I’m an observer, not a judge. I am here to see and hear without bias or illusions. Things are odd, and odd things have happened. The governments and officials back home need to understand clearly and without any doubt. So that is why I am here. There was confusion in the first message sent back. The second furthered the confusion due to multiple parties having separate interests. I have been tested, tried and guaranteed numerous concessions and payments for an utterly neutral perspective.”
“So your word is going to be how all is, then they decide if we committed treachery.” Franklin notes as he floats up with several bundles around him, many of them laughing. “Behold this then. My children. All healthy, with myself as the only human parent. My daughters take after their mothers, my son takes after me, but has his mother’s strength.”
“He is nearly transparent.” Observer Wu notes before Franklin gives the little boy a tickle and he flickers in and out of visibility while laughing. “Most interesting. This Vucsa world of yours, before I do my research upon it, is there something you would like to say about it?”
“This is a world on the edge of Wild Space. Which means that it’s often been used in the past as a place where experiments happened.” Miles says.
“Interesting. Such as?” Observer Wu asks.
“Such as my daughter here. I am Moira Octalliry, I will cut through the details and simply state that my anatomy allowed me to be experimented on a great deal.” She says and Observer Wu looks at her oddly.
“Are you one, or many?”
“I am one, but I am eight as one.” She says. “As is my daughter, I have named her Liǔ Shù. She was a piece of myself remade to produce a weapon. She and I were both rescued. I was forgotten in darkness for thousands of years, as was my daughter. Held in a single moment in time and left to rot.”
“And... is she a weapon?”
“I am told you have creatures similar to her new ability back on your homeworld.”
“We do? What is the name of this creature?”
“The Poison Dart Frog.” She says and Observer Wu’s eyebrows go up.
“Don’t forget about the fact that we fought off that robot witch!”
“Robot Witch?” Wu prompts.
“A weapon of war created by a very large, dangerous and expansive criminal family. A death robot known as Mother Massacre.” Moira says. “So consider that. Without them going... I don’t even know what to call it, I saw the contradicting orders, without them going sane for lack of a better term, I would still be in a slowly failing stasis capsule, buried and forgotten in the darkness.”
“And so, in summation, and from the mouths of those that clearly trust them what is your opinion of The Undaunted and the humans that make it up?”
“When I was brought to this world it was as a slave, my dignity ripped from me, my home destroyed and in less than a day I had my freedom, dignity and a new home.” One of the Erumenta that Agenda cannot recognize out of hand announces.
“And my own. My whole family, those that were enslaved are freed, those that were indoctrinated into that wretched way of life have been allowed time to recover.” Biran says grandly.
“They took me in.” A smaller voice says as Karim rises up. “I’m a Hlo’Shab. Death Born. I could have reasonably only expected to have my core shattered, or shunned for my entire life. Instead I have a home.”
“And... to be Death Born means what?”
“I am a Slohb. By blood I have only one true parent. I was broken off of them far too soon and they died as I survived. Death Born. Or... well, I don’t have blood but... you get the idea right?” Karim asks.
“I understand.” Observer Wu notes. “I have more calls incoming. Is there more from Vucsa for me to see or hear?”
“Over here!” A jubilant voice calls out and the room turns to see Hewhew standing on the shoulders of Heffer to tower over everyone with the Agela’s height added to his own. “Red Five calling it in! The Vucsa Defence Fleets fly fast and proud to keep our home safe!”
The crowd around him, pilots all, throw up their right arms and cheer along with Hewhew. “Welcome to the Galaxy Observer! We’re ten tons of awesome in a two pound bag! Let’s rock!”
Observer Wu smiles as he looks around. “I look forwards to discovering the truth of things.”
“That’s the fun part of the galaxy sir, it’s so absurd we don’t need to lie.” Miles states and Observer Wu turns back to him with a smirk.
“Well, we shall see, won’t we?” He asks. “Is there anything more?”
“I take it you’re not in the mood for a display of flight prowess? We’ve been working on a new routine.” Hewhew calls out.
“Perhaps later. I have numerous calls waiting.” Observer Wu states. “Now if you’ll excuse me...”
~First~ Last

A video of some random game play: https://youtu.be/EK2xB3xCFjQ

If you want to jump in and play: https://store.steampowered.com/app/658480/Starfighter_General/

I'm trying to make the spiritual successor to Xwing for 90s DOS everyone craved, but Lucas Arts never delivered. I was also inspired by Wing Commander Privateer who's title led me to imagining building a giant fleet by buying more and more ships and making friends.
It has a bunch of bugs but these will be fixed in a week or two. It's still pretty fun and a base by which a HUGE HUGE potential WOW killer will be made on. fairly long patch notes of a subset of what I plan on doing in the future are at the bottom.

My take Diablo2 skill tree/Path of Exile Talent tree: https://youtu.be/E8h9E4lw2jk?si=LVK8hQOtWez6Riwy&t=16 Very pretty to watch.

I'm exhausted... I spent close to a year on this patch... And the last 3 months was nothing but sleep, code, sleep, code, body necessities, balanced against being stress sick, normal sick, and trying not to break down due to being isolated non stop working... About 2000 hours in this patch alone, on top of 10,000 hours in the past 6 years before that, and I use an anthology of game resources that took me 20,000 hours to make. There's some bugs due to Unity compiling standalone improper from editor, but they'll be fixed, as well as the story line not in... It's a spoiler, but people say my SCI FI is better than any scifi man's ever written, it's at least good:

Cut scene spoiler of next patch assemble link by hand:

rum ble.com /v4tf892-spoiler-female-ai-voice-all-of-starfighter-general-mmo-patch-1-quests.html

-> What's next timelinie

NOTES:COMING SOON, AND FORECAST->Story missions non stop, techs around em, story's awesome!

Future Patches ->Non Stop Missions in Star System Sol until that story arc panned out and the next enters.
->Bounty System:Allows Player vs Player... Except people who don't want to be doing PVP will get insurance refund money of damages if/when the offending player pays up or gets captured as Bounty.
->70,000ish star stystems per core, 24 cores to dive.
->Warp drive lets you see actual stars warp by you that exist, aim for the star you want to explore, hit warp.
->Space Opera of partially Ai driven, partially Next Gen personality Memento system to have realistic aliens who grudge match you or befriend you.
->Unlimited player MMO
->Fleet building and Fleet Destroying, soft perma death hardcore means its a thrill of the rise and thrill of fall, rinse and repeat! Aim for higher personal bests of fleet sizes
-> Star System capture, control, taxing, law imposing. People can challenge to take over your star in an 2 hour window where your friends are on... If they're not on, AI will use their craft. So build big alleginances for star control power.
->Better UI hull/shields/armoetc such as NES style Brick Icons for stats ->Transfer between shields/thrusteweapons power
->more sanity loss special effects
->Radar
->Better targetting
->Multi Targetting of friend/foe/neutral/quest...
->Fleet General Commands to allies of flight style: ie defend me, skirmish(fight optimally), attack target, bomb target, evasive manuevars, flee(rout) ta
->Weapon escalation: I) rockets/homing missile/cluster rockets, rocket spam mitigated by chaff, ECM, or a bold force shield ejection II) Lasers will always hit, and heat up your ship, so you're encouraged to rotate your ship's sides to absorb heat in multiple places. III) Bombs you need to travel in a straight line without much damage for 7 seconds ->very long range for shelling bases out of turret range IV) Rail Gun V) Destroyers/Capital Ships VI)
->Bounty Combat PVP system
->Magic enabled
->Cockpit overlays
->Custom Attribute Allocation to stats you prefer from leveling up.
->96 most bilious bosses
->More Galactic News Network tickers
->Enable reduction in manueverability based on encumberance, volume limit of cargo
->Crafting based on real world Molecular structures, make materials out of periodic chart elements, and use those materials to make gears, levers, switches, interchangeable parts of a variety of styles. .Hopefully this becomes educational to people entering Chemistry Class later and beneficial to humanity.
->Favorite foods, drink, sanity preservation
->Elaborate 16 supernatural elemental magic systems
->traders and galactic encounters randomly, get cosmos gems to access untold areas, maps of places no one can get to...
->Secret, get ingame podcasts when available by hitting alt+p, ALT+P AGAIN CYCLES THROUGH THEM, CTRL+P CLOSES EM,
-Memento system
-Scientific items system elaborations evident
-power recover of various systems rates, shots costing powers
-Allegiance & Dark Allegiance system where by helping others or the illusion of helping them raises your power, fame, and status in the Galaxy.
-Live Omnipotent roleplay
--MMO Mode leaderboards such as EXP
--More enemies with fun catch phrases?
--what ASPECTS DO YOU WANT WORKED ON MORE? Send ideas and buy triderium. Forums or email is cool.
--multi drops, more rares, uncommons
--more advanced inventory->Scroll deeper, limited by volume, weight slows your thrust + adds collision damage & kickback, sort with different filters, better descriprtion, items catch on fire in inventory, emit toxic gases, melt, get destroyed by oncoming heat attacks or collisions
--Ability to dimensionally recover items picked up previous session... You have em saved on server, just can't see when you load until next patch.... Use upgrades when you got em!
-Conquer Stars and setting taxes and laws
-story history replay dialogue
-more achievements
-Asteroids properly breakinto more than oen
-Give android race an android sounding voice
--Three forms of Ground Combat: GROUND COMBAT FORM I) One is a classical First Person Shooter (FPS) with vehicles.
GROUND COMBAT FORM II) One is tactical Real Time Turn Based Game(RTTG) from top down, almost isometric. RTTG will give you the feel of a classic orthogonic chess like game with cover, vision and such, yet everyone plays at the same time. RTTG mode happens when you enter populated towns, not because the server can't handle infinite players in a small zone, but because it feels more intense when any action and fight can start from the shadows. Movement is freer and faster when no one has fights going on nearby.
GROUND COMBAT FORM III)One is a 3d Fighter Game you'd see in Arcades from the 90s, but with the ability to change targets.
Starfighter General is the Everything Game. And it's for real. Let me know what you want me to dev next. Virtual Goods buys lets me sub contract parts out to make the game faster. Talk about what you want, and if you got the money, be a driver, push this game's development faster. I'm a 64x coder, people who meet me don't believe people like me exist, so I get things done... I just have literally 0$ funding at the moment. You'll see things in Starfighter General you thought were impossible and things never done before... Be a believer, or heck, just play and enjoy.
KNOWN BUGS: 1) Iron ore is called a book 2) Collision detection on giant space ships is clunky and can be very annoying if you get close 3) Vision obscuring of mesh fog in junk yard 4) Laser angle not straight 5) TEXT RENDDER DEPTH of chatting aliens, or targetting computer needs fixed so always visible.
Enable Prime Skils(21):
Attribute is the attribute that influences the skill, Min Int is the minimum intelligence to acquire skill, skill point costs is the number of skill points required (each intelligence you get 1 point), and the name, well, that's the Name:
Mining ships, transport friggates, shipping containers, tugs, destroyers, capital ships, limi
Closing about determination and the long play... If you're of meager means like myself... You can enjoy the challenge MMODE over the long haul... Always getting stronger, never weaker, the ship upgrades, your level, your ascended masteries, your money, your credits, and most of all your own skill level and reflexes that you don't notice but is always increasing.
Name:"Munitions Motorhead" //assault damages Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:4
Name:"Fleet Architect" //general gains to larger fleet Attribute:intelligence MinInt:13 PointCost:10
Name:"Quarry Champion" //mining bonuses Attribute:intelligence MinInt:9 PointCost:6
Name:"Pet Sympahthyry" //charm pets, higher battlemon fight with you, higher morale, Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:5
Name:"Merchant Maestro" //merchant Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:4
Name:"Diplomatic Impunity" //diplomat Attribute:charm MinInt:12 PointCost:4
Name:"Space Speed Ace" //go fast Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:4
Name:"Universal Researcher" //science-shield Attribute:intelligence MinInt:16 PointCost:5
Name:"Intruder Adept" //sneaky Attribute:stealth MinInt:11 PointCost:3
Name:"Astro Archaelogist" //relic finder Attribute:intelligence MinInt:12 PointCost:4
Name:"Midnight Star Drifter" //preserver of self Attribute:agility MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Mixmaster Mechanologist" //crafter Attribute:intelligence MinInt:15 PointCost:6
Name:"Celestial Trailblazer" //explorer Attribute:intelligence MinInt:9 PointCost:2
Name:"Gangster of Smug" //running contraban, con artist Attribute:stealth MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Cuthroat of the Constellation" //assassin +crit hit Attribute:stealth MinInt:0 PointCost:6
Name:"Seeker of Destiny" //find magic, starts weak due to 10 missing Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:10
Name:"Wing Broman" //buffs//alliance//loyalty Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Dimensional Void Shifter" //cult of the cloak, friends up phantasms dimensionally more Attribute:stealth MinInt:0 PointCost:5
Name:"Racing Destruction Vet" //Ex destruction derby guy Ram Offense/Defense Attribute:endurance MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Motley Steward" //Friends with Disgraces in Underground Places...Rowdy good for nothin but keeping company with other rowdy good for nothins:+Hires +Recruit enemy Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Trash Baron" //+1 tractor beam lolz extra drops Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Enable Flex s(66)
Name:"Combat" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:4
Name:"Electronics" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:13 PointCost:3
Name:"Cyborgs" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:17 PointCost:4
Name:"First Aid" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:9 PointCost:3
Name:"Surgeon" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:17 PointCost:8
Name:"Androids" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:17 PointCost:4
Name:"Weapon:Plasma Bolts" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Greater Reasoning" //core Attribute:intelligence //order MinInt:9 PointCost:1
Name:"Decipher Codes" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:12 PointCost:1
Name:"Martial Arts" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:4
Name:"Chemistry" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:5 PointCost:3
Name:"Forage" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:1
:Name:"Quick Draw" //core Attribute:dexterity //blade MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Taunt" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Annoy & Pester" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Lie" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Politics" Attribute:charm MinInt:12 PointCost:3
Name:"Disguise" Attribute:stealth MinInt:9 PointCost:2
Name:"Critical Hit" //core Attribute:luck //chaos MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Atomic Energy" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:18 PointCost:4
Name:"Pulse Engineering" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:16 PointCost:4
Name:"Fly Aircraft" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Drive" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Pilot Shuttle" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:12 PointCost:3
Name:"Read Instruments" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Navigate" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Remember" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Pick Lock" Attribute:stealth MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Ambidexterity" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:4
Name:"Pick Pocket" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Distract" Attribute:stealth MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Explosives" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Construct Trap" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Fire Artillery" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Fortitude" //core Attribute:endurance //body MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Interrogate" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Law" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:13 PointCost:2
Name:"Popularity" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Confidentiality" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Sport" Attribute:agility MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Facilitate" Attribute:luck MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Gamble" Attribute:luck MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Cheat" Attribute:stealth MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Deceive" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Intimidate" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Space Craft Repair" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:14 PointCost:2
Name:"Aircraft Repair" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Automotive Repair" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Labor" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Advanced Mathematics" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:12 PointCost:1
Name:"Detective" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Perception" //core Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Soliciting" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Rapid Fire" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Safe Crack" Attribute:stealth MinInt:9 PointCost:3
Name:"Auto Mechanic" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Investigate" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Forensics" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:13 PointCost:3
Name:"Survival" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Lore" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Butt Kiss" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Insult" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Hardware" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Bureaucracy" Attribute:charm MinInt:9 PointCost:1
Name:"Leadership" //CORE Attribute:strength //earth MinInt:13 PointCost:4
Name:"Solicitating" //core Attribute:charm //storm MinInt:7 PointCost:1
Name:"Negotiation" Attribute:charm MinInt:14 PointCost:3
Name:"Vetinarian" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:13 PointCost:3
Name:"Junkyarder" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Tactical Analysis" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Resourceful Mining" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Evasive Manuevars" //core Attribute:agility //water MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Nanotech Engineering" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:17 PointCost:4
Name:"Astrobiology" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:17 PointCost:3
Name:"Metallurgy" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:14 PointCost:3
Name:"Infiltrator" Attribute:stealth MinInt:14 PointCost:4
Name:"Stealth Ops" //core Attribute:stealth //dark MinInt:9 PointCost:2
Name:"Tough Grit" //core Attribute:willpower //fire MinInt:0 PointCost:2 //LOWER EFFECT OF SANITY HITS, lower hungewater costs lacking/etc
Low coolness Upgrade the targeting computer:3 target classifications:Enemies/Missions/Allies:With allies, you can then send fleet commands to them. Encounter rates-Different random encounters in space
---upgrade ideas ->NEW ITEMS ->nEW CATCH PHRASES ->IDEA FOR PROGRESSION OF MOBS gnn MISSIONS

A video of some random game play: https://youtu.be/EK2xB3xCFjQ

If you want to jump in and play: https://store.steampowered.com/app/658480/Starfighter_General/

I'm trying to make the spiritual successor to Xwing for 90s DOS everyone craved, but Lucas Arts never delivered. I was also inspired by Wing Commander Privateer who's title led me to imagining building a giant fleet by buying more and more ships and making friends.
It has a bunch of bugs but these will be fixed in a week or two. It's still pretty fun and a base by which a HUGE HUGE potential WOW killer will be made on. fairly long patch notes of a subset of what I plan on doing in the future are at the bottom.

My take Diablo2 skill tree/Path of Exile Talent tree: https://youtu.be/E8h9E4lw2jk?si=LVK8hQOtWez6Riwy&t=16 Very pretty to watch.

I'm exhausted... I spent close to a year on this patch... And the last 3 months was nothing but sleep, code, sleep, code, body necessities, balanced against being stress sick, normal sick, and trying not to break down due to being isolated non stop working... About 2000 hours in this patch alone, on top of 10,000 hours in the past 6 years before that, and I use an anthology of game resources that took me 20,000 hours to make. There's some bugs due to Unity compiling standalone improper from editor, but they'll be fixed, as well as the story line not in... It's a spoiler, but people say my SCI FI is better than any scifi man's ever written, it's at least good:

Cut scene spoiler of next patch assemble link by hand:

rum ble.com /v4tf892-spoiler-female-ai-voice-all-of-starfighter-general-mmo-patch-1-quests.html

-> What's next timelinie

NOTES:COMING SOON, AND FORECAST->Story missions non stop, techs around em, story's awesome!

Future Patches ->Non Stop Missions in Star System Sol until that story arc panned out and the next enters.
->Bounty System:Allows Player vs Player... Except people who don't want to be doing PVP will get insurance refund money of damages if/when the offending player pays up or gets captured as Bounty.
->70,000ish star stystems per core, 24 cores to dive.
->Warp drive lets you see actual stars warp by you that exist, aim for the star you want to explore, hit warp.
->Space Opera of partially Ai driven, partially Next Gen personality Memento system to have realistic aliens who grudge match you or befriend you.
->Unlimited player MMO
->Fleet building and Fleet Destroying, soft perma death hardcore means its a thrill of the rise and thrill of fall, rinse and repeat! Aim for higher personal bests of fleet sizes
-> Star System capture, control, taxing, law imposing. People can challenge to take over your star in an 2 hour window where your friends are on... If they're not on, AI will use their craft. So build big alleginances for star control power.
->Better UI hull/shields/armoetc such as NES style Brick Icons for stats ->Transfer between shields/thrusteweapons power
->more sanity loss special effects
->Radar
->Better targetting
->Multi Targetting of friend/foe/neutral/quest...
->Fleet General Commands to allies of flight style: ie defend me, skirmish(fight optimally), attack target, bomb target, evasive manuevars, flee(rout) ta
->Weapon escalation: I) rockets/homing missile/cluster rockets, rocket spam mitigated by chaff, ECM, or a bold force shield ejection II) Lasers will always hit, and heat up your ship, so you're encouraged to rotate your ship's sides to absorb heat in multiple places. III) Bombs you need to travel in a straight line without much damage for 7 seconds ->very long range for shelling bases out of turret range IV) Rail Gun V) Destroyers/Capital Ships VI)
->Bounty Combat PVP system
->Magic enabled
->Cockpit overlays
->Custom Attribute Allocation to stats you prefer from leveling up.
->96 most bilious bosses
->More Galactic News Network tickers
->Enable reduction in manueverability based on encumberance, volume limit of cargo
->Crafting based on real world Molecular structures, make materials out of periodic chart elements, and use those materials to make gears, levers, switches, interchangeable parts of a variety of styles. .Hopefully this becomes educational to people entering Chemistry Class later and beneficial to humanity.
->Favorite foods, drink, sanity preservation
->Elaborate 16 supernatural elemental magic systems
->traders and galactic encounters randomly, get cosmos gems to access untold areas, maps of places no one can get to...
->Secret, get ingame podcasts when available by hitting alt+p, ALT+P AGAIN CYCLES THROUGH THEM, CTRL+P CLOSES EM,
-Memento system
-Scientific items system elaborations evident
-power recover of various systems rates, shots costing powers
-Allegiance & Dark Allegiance system where by helping others or the illusion of helping them raises your power, fame, and status in the Galaxy.
-Live Omnipotent roleplay
--MMO Mode leaderboards such as EXP
--More enemies with fun catch phrases?
--what ASPECTS DO YOU WANT WORKED ON MORE? Send ideas and buy triderium. Forums or email is cool.
--multi drops, more rares, uncommons
--more advanced inventory->Scroll deeper, limited by volume, weight slows your thrust + adds collision damage & kickback, sort with different filters, better descriprtion, items catch on fire in inventory, emit toxic gases, melt, get destroyed by oncoming heat attacks or collisions
--Ability to dimensionally recover items picked up previous session... You have em saved on server, just can't see when you load until next patch.... Use upgrades when you got em!
-Conquer Stars and setting taxes and laws
-story history replay dialogue
-more achievements
-Asteroids properly breakinto more than oen
-Give android race an android sounding voice
--Three forms of Ground Combat: GROUND COMBAT FORM I) One is a classical First Person Shooter (FPS) with vehicles.
GROUND COMBAT FORM II) One is tactical Real Time Turn Based Game(RTTG) from top down, almost isometric. RTTG will give you the feel of a classic orthogonic chess like game with cover, vision and such, yet everyone plays at the same time. RTTG mode happens when you enter populated towns, not because the server can't handle infinite players in a small zone, but because it feels more intense when any action and fight can start from the shadows. Movement is freer and faster when no one has fights going on nearby.
GROUND COMBAT FORM III)One is a 3d Fighter Game you'd see in Arcades from the 90s, but with the ability to change targets.
Starfighter General is the Everything Game. And it's for real. Let me know what you want me to dev next. Virtual Goods buys lets me sub contract parts out to make the game faster. Talk about what you want, and if you got the money, be a driver, push this game's development faster. I'm a 64x coder, people who meet me don't believe people like me exist, so I get things done... I just have literally 0$ funding at the moment. You'll see things in Starfighter General you thought were impossible and things never done before... Be a believer, or heck, just play and enjoy.
KNOWN BUGS: 1) Iron ore is called a book 2) Collision detection on giant space ships is clunky and can be very annoying if you get close 3) Vision obscuring of mesh fog in junk yard 4) Laser angle not straight 5) TEXT RENDDER DEPTH of chatting aliens, or targetting computer needs fixed so always visible.
Enable Prime Skils(21):
Attribute is the attribute that influences the skill, Min Int is the minimum intelligence to acquire skill, skill point costs is the number of skill points required (each intelligence you get 1 point), and the name, well, that's the Name:
Mining ships, transport friggates, shipping containers, tugs, destroyers, capital ships, limi
Closing about determination and the long play... If you're of meager means like myself... You can enjoy the challenge MMODE over the long haul... Always getting stronger, never weaker, the ship upgrades, your level, your ascended masteries, your money, your credits, and most of all your own skill level and reflexes that you don't notice but is always increasing.
Name:"Munitions Motorhead" //assault damages Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:4
Name:"Fleet Architect" //general gains to larger fleet Attribute:intelligence MinInt:13 PointCost:10
Name:"Quarry Champion" //mining bonuses Attribute:intelligence MinInt:9 PointCost:6
Name:"Pet Sympahthyry" //charm pets, higher battlemon fight with you, higher morale, Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:5
Name:"Merchant Maestro" //merchant Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:4
Name:"Diplomatic Impunity" //diplomat Attribute:charm MinInt:12 PointCost:4
Name:"Space Speed Ace" //go fast Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:4
Name:"Universal Researcher" //science-shield Attribute:intelligence MinInt:16 PointCost:5
Name:"Intruder Adept" //sneaky Attribute:stealth MinInt:11 PointCost:3
Name:"Astro Archaelogist" //relic finder Attribute:intelligence MinInt:12 PointCost:4
Name:"Midnight Star Drifter" //preserver of self Attribute:agility MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Mixmaster Mechanologist" //crafter Attribute:intelligence MinInt:15 PointCost:6
Name:"Celestial Trailblazer" //explorer Attribute:intelligence MinInt:9 PointCost:2
Name:"Gangster of Smug" //running contraban, con artist Attribute:stealth MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Cuthroat of the Constellation" //assassin +crit hit Attribute:stealth MinInt:0 PointCost:6
Name:"Seeker of Destiny" //find magic, starts weak due to 10 missing Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:10
Name:"Wing Broman" //buffs//alliance//loyalty Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Dimensional Void Shifter" //cult of the cloak, friends up phantasms dimensionally more Attribute:stealth MinInt:0 PointCost:5
Name:"Racing Destruction Vet" //Ex destruction derby guy Ram Offense/Defense Attribute:endurance MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Motley Steward" //Friends with Disgraces in Underground Places...Rowdy good for nothin but keeping company with other rowdy good for nothins:+Hires +Recruit enemy Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Trash Baron" //+1 tractor beam lolz extra drops Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Enable Flex s(66)
Name:"Combat" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:4
Name:"Electronics" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:13 PointCost:3
Name:"Cyborgs" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:17 PointCost:4
Name:"First Aid" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:9 PointCost:3
Name:"Surgeon" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:17 PointCost:8
Name:"Androids" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:17 PointCost:4
Name:"Weapon:Plasma Bolts" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Greater Reasoning" //core Attribute:intelligence //order MinInt:9 PointCost:1
Name:"Decipher Codes" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:12 PointCost:1
Name:"Martial Arts" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:4
Name:"Chemistry" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:5 PointCost:3
Name:"Forage" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:1
:Name:"Quick Draw" //core Attribute:dexterity //blade MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Taunt" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Annoy & Pester" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Lie" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Politics" Attribute:charm MinInt:12 PointCost:3
Name:"Disguise" Attribute:stealth MinInt:9 PointCost:2
Name:"Critical Hit" //core Attribute:luck //chaos MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Atomic Energy" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:18 PointCost:4
Name:"Pulse Engineering" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:16 PointCost:4
Name:"Fly Aircraft" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Drive" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Pilot Shuttle" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:12 PointCost:3
Name:"Read Instruments" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Navigate" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Remember" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Pick Lock" Attribute:stealth MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Ambidexterity" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:4
Name:"Pick Pocket" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Distract" Attribute:stealth MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Explosives" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Construct Trap" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Fire Artillery" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Fortitude" //core Attribute:endurance //body MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Interrogate" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Law" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:13 PointCost:2
Name:"Popularity" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Confidentiality" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Sport" Attribute:agility MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Facilitate" Attribute:luck MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Gamble" Attribute:luck MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Cheat" Attribute:stealth MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Deceive" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Intimidate" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Space Craft Repair" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:14 PointCost:2
Name:"Aircraft Repair" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Automotive Repair" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Labor" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Advanced Mathematics" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:12 PointCost:1
Name:"Detective" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Perception" //core Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Soliciting" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Rapid Fire" Attribute:dexterity MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Safe Crack" Attribute:stealth MinInt:9 PointCost:3
Name:"Auto Mechanic" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Investigate" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Forensics" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:13 PointCost:3
Name:"Survival" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Lore" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Butt Kiss" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Insult" Attribute:charm MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Hardware" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:1
Name:"Bureaucracy" Attribute:charm MinInt:9 PointCost:1
Name:"Leadership" //CORE Attribute:strength //earth MinInt:13 PointCost:4
Name:"Solicitating" //core Attribute:charm //storm MinInt:7 PointCost:1
Name:"Negotiation" Attribute:charm MinInt:14 PointCost:3
Name:"Vetinarian" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:13 PointCost:3
Name:"Junkyarder" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Tactical Analysis" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Resourceful Mining" Attribute:wisdom MinInt:0 PointCost:3
Name:"Evasive Manuevars" //core Attribute:agility //water MinInt:0 PointCost:2
Name:"Nanotech Engineering" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:17 PointCost:4
Name:"Astrobiology" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:17 PointCost:3
Name:"Metallurgy" Attribute:intelligence MinInt:14 PointCost:3
Name:"Infiltrator" Attribute:stealth MinInt:14 PointCost:4
Name:"Stealth Ops" //core Attribute:stealth //dark MinInt:9 PointCost:2
Name:"Tough Grit" //core Attribute:willpower //fire MinInt:0 PointCost:2 //LOWER EFFECT OF SANITY HITS, lower hungewater costs lacking/etc
Low coolness Upgrade the targeting computer:3 target classifications:Enemies/Missions/Allies:With allies, you can then send fleet commands to them. Encounter rates-Different random encounters in space
---upgrade ideas ->NEW ITEMS ->nEW CATCH PHRASES ->IDEA FOR PROGRESSION OF MOBS gnn MISSIONS