Bi husband and wife vids

Hello you lovely Spuds!
I'm an American expat living in England with my husband and our child (F7). My husband and I have been together for 8 years, our daughter was a happy accident but it took me at least 6 years to see my husband was the one I should not have kept.
For background: he is an alocholic since day 1, he made me thank him profusely for deciding to stay for the baby because he just wants to live his own life as a bohemian artist, he made us late for our own baby shower because he screamed at me and threw food at me for 2 hours in a parking lot because I bought him some Mcdonalds breakfast due to him being newly wasted at 9am, he proposed to me because his dad was visiting and wanted him to be proud of him - and when he saw his dad was drunk and missed it he got so angry and made us all go home - and then forgot he even proposed, (for the record, I didn't say yes because his friends were pouring beer on us and I wasn't sure I wanted to marry him but he told everyone I said yes and I wasn't capable of standing up for myself at the time). The day of our wedding I wore black and watched a zombie film in the bath haha that's not part of the story just something I'll always remember as symbolic. Of course he was wasted for our family meal reception and kept trying to dry hump his male friend which was weird, but ok. Then ruined seeing Phantom of the Opera for our honeymoon and then admitted to sleeping with his ex when I was newly pregnant (that he repeatedly told me I was crazy for thinking he'd sleep with that 'expletive expletive'). It gets a lot worse for about 3 years while we were in separate countries and waiting on a visa for me as our daughter and I visited a few times for a few months. Lots of binged weekends where he would be gone for days doing various illicit substances and lots of alcohol.
Fast forward to about a year ago and we al live together in England, still having binge days and sometimes things were good and sometimes not so good. the final straw was last March when I had mentioned I might go to a mums-night-out as I didn't feel like I had many friends at the time in England, and he said "I can deal with you being a shit wife but I can't deal with you being a shit mother" because my daughter didn't want me to be gone. Later he told me he only said it to hurt me. The moment he said that to me was the moment everything I was holding onto just died. I'm a massive planner and decided to learn what I actually want out of my life and how to make my own choices and have significantly leveled up since then, I made a 110 page life plan that broke down my life into 13 categories - I was serious about change. I watched "how to talk to narcisstist" videos and stopped allowing him to talk down to me and drive conversations in circles. It was last March when I made this shift and I've just managed to move out last weekend! In that year, he broke my fridge, ruined my bed because he doesn't shower, and shattered my oven glass door because "I made him angry by telling my friends about the situation and making him look bad." He never bought anything because he doesn't work, and the money he does get from his art doesn't go into the family or home. Oh also, I'm his second marriage as he has a case in the states against him for DV but said he only hit her back "in self defence" and he is a wonderful storyteller, clearly. I know, I'm an idiot.
ALL THAT BEING SAID, my visa relies on being married to him and I now have to urgently choose to pay £5k to apply as a parent to my English daughter and will be restarting the whole 5 year visa process which will end in over £10k -or- I could apply for the Domestic Abuse visa which in the long run is waaaaay better for me and my daughter but he would know I did that and would be so angry as he's told me off for "playing the victim" when I reported him to the police and social workers needed to get involved. Since this new year we've had a mostly good relationship as we live completely separate lives and have agreements where our daughter is involved. I feel awful because his parents have helped me so much throughout the visa process and with getting my English license and a car, and until last week I lived in a granny annexe in his mothers back garden with him. I feel like if I apply for DA then its like a slap in the face to his family for everything they've done for me and could potentially isolate myself and my daughter from family in the UK. They know about his character but choose not to acknowledge it and think we just need work things out. I also feel like as it wasn't physical abuse that I am sort of "playing the victim" and shouldn't deserve to apply for it. I don't want to bring my daughter back home to the states as I'm very happy with the safety and quality of life here for her compared to where I'm from, also I'm not even sure if I could as I'd be then taking her away from her dad and english family and friends.
Am I the asshole for wanting to make this massive decision that would then legally label him as an abuser (in the UK) as it would be the most beneficial route for me and my daughter?
Lastly- I am receiving professional support and not relying on internet crowdsourcing support, I'm just so stressed and nervous and there are massive time gaps with the professional support where I 120% overthink these things!!!

I’m (29F) leaving for the Air Force in August & quit my job recently to prepare. My husband (30M) works full time & expects to do absolutely nothing & just relax when he gets home. I clean up around the house, cook his meals from scratch, do laundry (wash, fold, & put all clothes away), & take care of our dog (feeding, walking, etc.) while he’s at work. All of which are done or nearly done by the time he gets home.
Lately he’s been saying I’m “slacking” & “getting lazy on him” because I asked him to fix his own plate the other night. I cooked & he wasn’t ready to eat so the food sat out for a while & I had packed it away & cleaned the kitchen. Once I came upstairs & got comfortable in bed, he was ready for his food. Then last night I got takeout & he asked me to pick up some cookies from Crumbl for him, which I did. While on the phone with him driving home, I asked if he could feed the dog so I can go straight to fixing plates & he said he was busy watching videos (on my laptop) about graphic designing (although he has a business partner who does designs for him). I was a bit annoyed and said I was just asking for a little help, but never mind, I’ve got it. As I walked in the door, he was getting the dog bowl to mix the food (I boiled ground turkey for the dog earlier while he was at work to mix with his kibble). He told me he wasn’t ready to eat yet, but his food was in the fridge & I told him to let me know when he wants it. He didn’t say anything, and warmed his food & ate later.
When we were laying in bed that night, he asked me if I’m okay & if being a wife is overwhelming? He questioned if I understood the duties of being a wife & tried to make me understand that he expects to just come home and relax after work. He doesn’t mind walking the dog or taking out trash at night because it’s dark out, but even those little things I asked are problematic because he’s tired & I have the time to do them. After talking to him, he apologized for calling me lazy, but I still feel bad about it because that’s clearly how he feels because he’s said it more than once.
I have no problem doing things for him & I genuinely try to keep up with everything & rarely ask him to make his own plate (I can literally count on 1 hand how many times I have in the 2years we’ve been together). I just think it was unfair to say I’m lazy or question my capabilities as a wife because of those small things. I honestly feel a little resentment towards him about it now. Am I overreacting? Am I wrong/lazy for expecting him to do little things from time to time?

I think I mentioned this interaction some time ago. But, a while back, the wife of one of the deacons at my parents' church was going off about women who "give up on their marriages" (her words) and bullshit like that. Context can go fuck itself. Because there can't possibly be a reason for anyone wanting to end their relationship, right? /s But, like, seriously. What's the alternative? In her universe does a couple never break up if they're both Christian? Because I can assure her that Christian couples do indeed break up. It totally happens. Christians also gasp get divorced! I responded to her post asking "well, compatibility changes or just isn't there and people should find who they're compatible with." She followed up saying that "compatibility is a lie the Devil cooked up so ungodly women can justify sleeping around without making a commitment."
That's a fucking WILD take right there. If her husband wasn't such an asshole (which I've come to understand is almost a prerequisite for being a Southern Baptist deacon) I'd feel bad for him since his wife was basically admitting she doesn't feel she's compatible with her husband. Like, damn. She pretty much just put him on blast right there.
She made a post yesterday that was less (?) confusing, I guess. Her post said "we gotta stop Satan's forces from causing more chaos in our society. That's why I'll be voting for Trump this November."
There it is. Right there. This is a pattern I've noticed. It doesn't matter what the topic is: politics, religion, or facets of everyday life and society. The people who have the most unhinged takes on these topics are almost always Trump voters.
I remember the Trump years very well and recall that shit was quite chaotic. I remember what a fucking disaster he was when he was in the White House. And it fucking terrifies me that he'll be back there again.
Why is it that folks with the most generally unhinged takes are basically inevitably MAGA?
Has anyone else noticed this pattern?

For example, when they talk about how paternity works legally and the susposed acceptance of cheating
Legal Paternity
It's usually the case around the world that if a wife has a child during their marriage, the husband is legally assumed to be the father. Even if everyone involves knows he isn't, and all want to change this, they may still have to go to court.
This is somehow blamed on feminism. Never mind that depending on a guy who resents being a father for child support can be worse than just relying on welfare. And nevermind that all the women who fled their abusive husbands would love to not give him custody rights (because, many abusers see getting custody of their kids as a way to hurt their mother).
So why did it come from?
Firstly, law codes were mostly developed before paternity tests were a thing. This is just a guess, but at least in the West, where it was usually men who controlled the couple's money, lawmakers likely didn't want their sisters and daughters left destitute by false claims of infidelity.
And at least partially it comes from the fact that the state doesn't want to pay benefits it can get a way with. Which also explains why almost no politicians will advocate against the assumption of paternity for the husband. Just paying for a few weeks of welfare until paternity tests came back for every man, and then hoping the men will all pay the state back, would increase the cost of the social welfare budget for little, if any, community gain. And social welfare is often a large part of a state's budget.
And of course, modern DNA tests have their own problems, like the ethics around the use of DNA given for other purposes to catch criminals. And who would pay for them, and some others.
Cheating
Literally no popular feminist work advocates this. You could argue works like the Scarlet Letter are trying to cast sympathy on women seen as cheaters, but even those are asking why women are being punished much more harshly than men. And if cheating should be a purely social wrong, rather than a legal one. Some thing goes for the Handmaid's tale, particularly the series rather than the novel, where June is the other woman, rather than dating an already divorced man as she does in the novel.
You'll see cheating accepted in some film and TV shows, but I don't think feminist films are more guilty of this than any other genre. Those that do usually protray the women as a victim of abuse by her spouse, however Hollywood does like to sometimes show affairs as romantic simply because the other partner is kind of annoying and the main couple belong together. However, these nearly always have a man willingly a part of the affair. Hollywood is very happy to show men cheating too and protray it as a good or kinda bad thing when it wants too (eg. Oppenheimer).
Thinking about the major feminists I've heard of, I think their responses to having constant affairs would vary.

• Most common would be the third/fourth wave monogamous feminists who would say all marriages should equal and affairs are bad
  
• You also have the "free love"/polyamorous crowd who insist on honesty, not cheating
  
• In the past, there was the 60-70s Lesbian separtists who wouldn't understand why you'd want to sleep with more men anyway
  
• And early suffragists who often argued that women were different to men in that they were more caring and nurturing, so they probably wouldn't have approved cheating.
  

So yeah, feminism does not equal screwing over men. But AITA-land likes to insist it does

Kinalimutan mo sila pero yung ginawa nila hindi.
Context: Nung 2020, ang second to the eldest sister ni husband biglang nagsabi na may bibilhing rights (lote). Nag ask sya na ambagan namin kasama yung ibang kapatid nyya kasi dun titira parents ni husband. Nakaluwag luwag kami that time kasi we just started as freelancers pero 3 months old plng yung anak ko nun at nag bubuild plng kami nang family. Sabi nang mama ni husband na “10k daw yung sa amin”. Sa amin wala lang, nag oo kami. Excited rin naman kmi para sa kanila. Pero narinig ko lang kay husband na sinabi ni mama nya na 5k daw sa first eldest brother ni husband para pang kuha nang driver’s license tas 5k sa second eldest sister para sa lote. Sabi ko kay husband depende na sayo yan. In a span of that week, narinig ko nlng na nag aaway aaway na sila pero ako DAW ANG MAY SALA. Kesyo daw I stopped my husband in letting him give the full 10k to the second eldest sister. Ako yung pinaparinggan nila, ako yung masama daw. Nakikita ko na pinopost nila sa FB na masama pala raw yung ugali ko, tinatago ko lang daw. Syempre defended ako by my husband, he scolded and told his siblings even her mother na “Si wife ang ready magbigay sa inyo and kay wife ang money nato. “ Kasi isang job lang kay husband at ako dalawang clients na, so sabi ko sa kanya sa akin nlng kunin para d ma touch yung kanyang pera which para sa bills.
Yung tatlong sisters nya sinisiraan pala ako, sinasabihan nang kung ano ano. Gumawa pa nang GC at yung second eldest sister talaga ang nag leader para sabihan ako nang mga masasama. Magkaaway rin ang sisters at ang papa and mama ni husband kasi nga sa amin sila naniniwala. Fast forward to 2021, yung third sister ni husband, nagkausap kami. At nag kaayos. Nalaman ko nlng sa kanya na nakakarating pala ang mga sinasabi ko, sinasabi ni mama ni husband at ni husband dahil sa ka live in partner nang third eldest brother. Two faced rin. Yung ni replied messages ko sa nirereport nya sa akin, nirereport nya din dun sa kanila. At sabi nya rin na si mother in law daw nagsabi na ako “yung nag stop kay husband na hundi ibigay ang pera”
All this time. Pinaikot nila ako. I trusted his mother. Tinuring ko na friend yung ka live in partner. I offered her my help in time kailangan nya. Ni-lilift ko sya at sila. Pinahiram ko pa nang pera. Lahat. Kasi nga I trusted her and mama. Saka gusto rin ibalik yung help ni mama while nagaaral plng kami ni husband. Gaya rin nang pag trust ko sa mga kapatid ni husband
Sa lahat nangyari nun, ngayon ako mismo nag bigay nang way para magkausap yung third sister at si mother in law. Ngayon, okay na sila. Nag bday yung third sister at nandun almost lahat ng siblings ni husband pero wala yung second eldest sister. Nagtatawanan sila na parang walang nangyari, they swept off the issue under the rug. Hindi ako sumali sa kanila, kasi ang bigat nang nararamdaman ko. Parang hindi ko alam, baka isa sa kanila sisiraan ako. Gagaguhin ako. Parang ayoko mapalapit sa kanila kasi wala na yung trust ko. Bigla kami sinabihan ni mama na i-surprise visit daw yung second eldest sister nila para happy na lahat.
Pero ako hindi. Umoo si husband. Ako hindi pa at parang hindi na. Napaka toxic nang mga ugali nila at ayokong makasama sila ulit. Gusto kong sabihin kay husband na Wag na tayong pumunta sa mga celebrations nila na nandun sila lahat pero I don’t want to snatch that away kasi nga pamilya ni husband.
Pinapatawad ko na sila pero ang sakit parin at nakakatakot. Nakakatakot na in an instant pwede nila ako siraan, pwede nila akong tapak tapakan. Pag nakikita ko yung pinang gagawa nila parang gusto kong magalit pero pinapray ko na remove ang hatred nato. Kasi ambigat na.
HELP. Please okay lang ba na payagan ko si husband pumunta dun sa second eldest nila? Pero ayokong sumama. Ngayon iisa na silang lahat pero alam ko may grudges pa yan sa isat isa. Ayokong makahalubilo ulit sila kasi hindi ako sure kung tatalikod ba akong may kutsilyo sa likod or baka bibilogin nila ulit ako sa mga palad nila.

Hi All
After seeing many posts of people having few crores in savings and investments I have finally decide to seek some advice for myself.
25M married B.com graduate from a normal College Work exp of almost 5 years In-hand - 48.5k per month (bi-yearly bonus of about 40-50k in total) Overall CTC 6.9 lpa Order to cash Analyst
So, as for expenses, majority of my salary goes into emi and rest into rent and other expenses.
Wife earns 16k per month, currently preparing for RBI grade B exams so not switching jobs till end of this year.
We have 2 dogs and are not planning for any kids as of now, possibly won't have one as both of us don't like children and all their expenses making the prospect less appealing.
We have no savings and no insurance on personal level other than company's. My father works currently but in some years I would have to take care of my parents. So have to plan accordingly.
Parents live in our hometown and the house is their own. We are in gurgaon and live on rent.
Need some advice in terms of career growth and to FIRE at some point of my life anytime before 2050.

This is probably a stupid post to make, but I wish I was ASPD or a narc.
I'm just an avoidant person - I do want things like money, plastic surgery, and a life of mostly freedom but mainly because I want to be so independent and not have to ever let anyone in again and I do like the idea of being so unattainable and being the "dream girl" of every guy - not in a purely sexual way, but actually being the girl he desires and sees as trophy wife enough to move me to the hamptons. I like telling myself secret lies that I have never been in a relationship simply because men don't think they can ever pull a woman as good as me.
I don't have to be the "most powerful" in the room, but I want to be associated with power and have the ability to get along with higher ups.
All my life I've been abused when all I ever wanted and craved was deep intimacy and to be seen and nurtured. At the same time, I contradict myself - I used to view relationships as purely transactional but of course, when the other party did not meet my emotional needs, I ghosted. I wish I was like that Shera lady on YouTube who talks about being super detached from men, and not giving a fuck if they yell at you or call you names because, at least you're getting money and she is so full of herself despite being financially dependent on her husband. I couldn't live like that, I cannot have respect for myself if other people are disrespecting me - but sometimes it takes "humility" or at least playing the humility card to get the things you want - and it seems like Narcs are really good at playing on this.
My parents are both narcs and they treated me like shit until I got a car and moved away from home for 3 years..when I started treating my mom like the way she treated me when I was 13, she started acting sweeter and more docile. My step mom got her karma - she used to sit back and watch my father abuse me, but when I moved away from home she became his next victim. A huge part of me feels guilty and sorry for her, because dealing with my dad is a soul crushing experience I don't wish on ANYBODY no matter what they have done to me - but another small part of me is thankful that she's getting her medicine for being such a fool and believing that acting like a loyal lap dog to a man would benefit her somehow.
My father is constantly trying to pry information out of me about my personal life - especially weird intimate details about guys I sleep with. I just don't trust my father at all, and I try to tell him things he wants to hear to avoid conflict. Recently we got in an argument though, and I blocked him and deleted his number like I always do when I leave people.
I just want to be largely unaffected by most things and situations, I don't want to be so insecure and hate every thing about myself, I just want to be able to interact with people and have the upper hand or be unaffected by their absence. I want unwavering respect and admiration.

For some background, my mom has struggled with bipolar disorder and is very narcissistic & racist however she is lot better than what she used be when me and my older brother were kids. Due to this behavior our Grandma raised us and hence me and brother are very close to her, so when at the gender reveal party I realised im having a baby girl, I decided I would name her after my grandma and my mother looked overjoyed because it was due to grandma that she is recovered as much as she did.
However she is still a bit cuckoo, my older brother is low contact with my mother after she started treating his kind wife awfully when she found out she was half black, and is thinking of going absolutely no-contact because my mother has been making passive remarks about my to be born niece's possible skin colour. She was even vary of Javier but I am a no-nonsense person and have never let her insult him or hsi family.
But here's where shit hits the fan, after I gave birth I ultimately decided to name my daughter Eloriya, that is not my grandma's name, it's the name of my husband's older sister who died in car accident, it was an awful accident that left my FIL with ptsd and he is now wheelchair bound because his legs don't work.
The reason I named her Eloriya was because when i held my babygirl and I saw her pretty little face the only thing me and quite frankly my husband as well could notice was the uncanny similarity to his sister's baby pictures. My daughter could pass off for her identical twin except she took after my hair colour.
Now when my mother found out, she lost all crap. She started screaming like a maniac and hurling insults to my husband and his family, mind you we were still in the hosipital and she had come to visit me with my MIL and FIL because i had a risky delivery and had to stay overnight. She started accusing my husband on brainwashing me into this and tried to attack him, and accused my MIL of forcing me to name my daughter after her dead daughter.
I couldn't take it, I was tired after pushing out a dang mini human outta me. I screamed at my mother that not every MIl is like her, who forces her wishes on their DIL's. Her face dropped as my husband and inlaws looked on in shock.. I told her off for being an awful mother and that how she could still see nothing apart from herself and what she wanted, unlike my MIL who has always treated my like the daughter she never had I told her if it went like this ill go no-contact with her and then she can enjoy the mess she made and then told the nurse to drag my mother out who was now crying hysterically.
I'll be honest with you, I didn't think I was the a-hole but the never-ending messages from my mom's side of my family calling me an ungrateful daughter who couldn't understand her mother was trying to protect her and asking me how dare i bring back her past and choose my MIL over her is making me think twice. So reddit Am I The Asshole?

I'm going to share with you today a message on how the Fruit of the Spirit can help a married couple (or potential married couple) have a loving, blessed, and fulfilling marriage.
Let me share with you first and foremost the Bible verses concerning the Fruits of the Spirit in Galatians Chapter 5:22-23 (KJV)
But the Fruit of the Spirit is

1. Love
   1. Joy
   2. Peace
   3. Long-suffering
   4. Gentleness.
   5. Goodness
   6. Faith
   7. Meekness
   8. Temperance Against such there is no law.

How Applying The Fruit Of The Spirit (FOTS) Can Help A Marriage Or A Couple Planning To Get Married
The spiritual and practicality of a married couple (or a couple planning to get married) applying the Fruit of the Spirit will help them have a good marriage instead of a toxic one.

1. Fruit number one is Love If a married couple apply God's Agape Love unto each other, it will solidify and protect all the areas of their marriage that the enemy and their flesh will try to disrupt.

Also, Agape Love is selfless, genuine, and sacrificial love.

1. Fruit Number Two is Joy Having the Fruit of Joy will bring happiness, delight, and appreciation in the marriage of the husband and wife.

Also, being full of joy will inspire the married couple to not take each other for granted.

1. Fruit number three is Peace Having and applying the Fruit of Peace will keep toxicity, ungodliness, demise, hostility, and so on out of your marriage.
   
2. Fruit number four is Long-suffering which means being patience. Having and applying the Fruit of Long-suffering with one another, despite neither party in the marriage being perfect. Being long-suffering will compel and inspire both in the marriage to be loving, respectful, and appropriately transparent when dealing with challenges that may arise in their marriage. ——————————————————
   
3. Fruit number five is Gentleness Having and applying the Fruit of Gentleness will help the married couple to be considerate, thoughtful, kind, loving, and supportive of each other without being disrespectful, demeaning, condescending, degrading, and so forth.
   
4. Fruit Number six is Goodness Having and applying the Fruit of Goodness will weed out badness, shrewdness, malice, hostility, put downs, etc.
   
5. Fruit Number seven is Faith The Fruit of Faith will embellish both individuals in the marriage to stay faithful, true, loyal, devoted, and committed to each other.
   
   1. Fruit Number eight is Meekness The Fruit Of Meekness will help the married couple to be humble, content, and supportive of each other within the jurisdiction of God’s word not the world, culture, busybodies, home-wreckers, and ungodly advice.
6. Lastly, Fruit number 9 is Temperance The Fruit of Temperance will help both in the marriage to show respect toward each other without displaying unwarranted anger, hostility, ungratefulness, malice, and so forth.
   

In closing, both the husband and wife in the marriage should pray to God with meekness, humility, and obedience to spiritually help the both of them to embellish the FOTS toward each other. Because what is impossible with humans is possible with The Father, Son, And Holy Spirit.
This will conclude my message for today.
God bless and take care everyone.

On today’s show, the ladies (except Whoopie) seemed to be having quite the laugh over the story of a man who bought a house - in which a murder had occurred - for a very good price. He neglected to tell his wife - oops - and upon finding out 5 years later, she abruptly moved out. This led to a discussion about “murder houses” and tee hee scary ghost things happening 👻 I felt that the ladies were disrespectful and should have listened to Whoopi rather than breaking into little giggle groups 😡 I live in a small city in the prairies where the murder rate is approx. 1 per year. And certainly not in an upper middle class neighborhood.
But then last summer a good friend who was also the sister of my bff was murdered in her beloved home …. By her jealous ex-husband. Not your typical murder in the upper class side of my town. Not only did the family (and friends to a lesser extent) have to deal with the sudden, violent loss of our dear friend AND her beloved pet dog (he was the victim of a sloppy knife kill), they also had to navigate an incredibly complicated house sale. Under real estate law, they had an obligation to disclose the murder. Finally, the family had no choice but to significantly drop the price. It eventually sold. Not a happy occasion for my bff or her siblings. Certainly not for the daughters of the murderer and deceased. They are essentially now orphans. The house had been in the family for years. Who would have thought this could ever happen in our safe little city?! I would love it if even one of the ladies of The View saw this message and realized just how insensitive they came off today. Oh it’s so funny isn’t it Sarah, Sunny, Ana and Alyssa? Ohmygosh my stomach curled into knots and angry tears spilled out. It’s not funny. It should not be dealt with as though it’s funny. Grow up ladies. I hope Whoopi had some stern words for them after the show.

Marriage is loving each other through the good and bad. Marriage is obeying God's word even when we are not happy and sometimes sad.
Marriage shouldn't be one spouse rejecting the other spouse of intimacy and sex. Marriage will consist of trials. tribulations, and tests. Marriage is giving your all and very best.
Marriage is depending on God and His Word to help you both do what is right. Marriage is respecting one another without being hard-headed and putting up a fight.
Marriage is allowing Jesus and His Word to be your guide. Marriage is rebuking Satan, the flesh, and pride. Marriage is loving your spouse unconditionally with love, respect, and honesty that will not be denied.
Marriage is being there for one another with affection, correction, warmth, and love. Marriage is relying on God's Word to guide them from above.
Marriage is putting your spouse (only second JESUS CHRIST) first. Marriage is not making excuses or bad choices that will cause betrayal, pain, and hurt. Marriage is realizing that the Devil want your marriage to fail, and he will wickedly assert.
Marriage is not rejecting what God's word commands a (married) couple to do. Marriage is following The Way, The Truth, and Life and taking heed to correction and reproof.
Marriage is a covenant between God, husband, and wife. Marriage will still have it struggles, hard times, and strife.
Marriage must be cleaved unto a 3 chord strand. Because a couple cannot do it alone by ignoring what God's Word commands.
Marriage is for better and for worse even-though so many are divorcing and walking away. Because the flesh, the enemy, and this world will only refute, defy, and lead one (or both) in the marriage astray.
Marriage must be of mind, soul, body, spirit, and heart. Marriage must be guided by God and His Word so the married couple can stay together until death do them part.
Here are some Scriptures below to read in relations to this poem Ephesians 5:25, 1 Peter 3:7, Matthew 19:6, Ephesians 4:2-3, 1 Corinthians 13:13, 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, Colossians 3:14, I Thessalonians 5:11, 1 Corinthians 16:14, Ephesians 4:32, Psalm 85:10, 1 Peter 4:8, Song of Solomon 2:16, Romans 12:10).
(C)@livelistenlearnandgrow Date Unknown.

What Qualities Should A Woman Be Looking For In A Future Husband?

1. He will be caring, emphatic, compassionate, sacrificial, patient, kind, and affectionate.
   
2. He will be a protector, hard worker, considerate, appreciative, content, and humble.
   
3. He will want to spend quality and quantity time with his future wife.
   
4. He will encourage, build up, edify, and be a support system for his future wife.
   
5. He will respect her opinions, insightfulness, wisdom, and input just as long as it doesn’t breach God’s Word.
   
6. He will put his future wife and children first.
   
7. He will be her protector, masculine best friend, and lover.
   
8. He will never compromise or negotiate God’s design for marriage, home, and family.
   
9. He should encourage, build up, and esteem his future wife.
   
10. He won’t be perfect (because no one is) but he will humbly and repentantly allow God’s Word and Counsel to correct him when he is wrong plus take ownership.
    
11. He won’t devalue, degrade, nor belittle her.
    
12. He will be faithful, loyal, committed, and devoted.
    
13. He will genuinely love her and he won’t use his headship as dictatorship.
    
14. He will value, love, and treat his wife with dignity, comfort, and respect.
    
15. He will be willing to selflessly sacrifice for her and lay down his life for her if necessary.
    
16. He will have the mindset of not allowing the culture, Hollywood, Social Media, Beta men, Untraditional women, or anything else destroy her marriage, home, and family.
    
17. He will have the mindset to not allow toxic family members, relatives, nor so called friend break up her marriage.
    
18. Also, pay very close attention to a man you might consider marriage material and make sure he has all or a majority or these attributes and the willingness to work on obtaining them all through Godly counsel, personal accountability, letting go and healing from past baggage, and most importantly allowing the word of God and Christ to direct his steps in the process.
    
19. He should also avoid being full of pride, ego, and narcissism.
    
20. He should be willing to love you with God’s Love with selflessness.
    

This will conclude my podcast for today.
Remember to Live Listen Learn And Grow
God bless and take care everyone

As I have read lots of questions regarding "marriage" and "divorce," I think that 99.9% of people do not understand what marriage is and what a sexual relationship entails. That is why I am thinking of completing a book on this subject.
The biological approach considers sexual drives to be comparable to other physical needs, such as hunger. In this view, an individual seeks pleasure or food to reduce or avoid discomfort. The sex drive can be considered a biological requirement or urge that motivates people to seek sexual experiences and pleasure. All humans have fundamental psychological needs to maintain their mental health. Although not a fundamental need, sex is a vital component of psychological needs.
Throughout history, different cultures have possessed diverse approaches towards marriage. In ancient times, women were often married based on factors like their physical appearance, financial status, family background, or religious commitment. The upper class used to marry to preserve their lineage, religious people married for chastity, and traders married for financial status.
It's important to acknowledge that the notion of men being always faithful to their wives is not entirely accurate. It's natural for a physically strong man to be attracted to multiple women, often referred to as mistresses, and this tendency was once widely accepted. However, social conditioning and religious restrictions have led us to deny this truth and convince ourselves otherwise.
In the past, common law marriage, which is known today as living together, was practiced by the lower classes, such as peasants, pagans, Shudras, artisans, slaves, and serfs. However, religious establishments considered it adulterous, while the nobles referred to it as "Common Law Marriage" for political gain.
In Islam, the relationship between a husband and wife is built upon two core principles - affection and mercy. These principles work together to create a sense of peace and harmony within the marriage. The Quran reinforces this notion by stating that God has created spouses from among themselves so that they may find tranquility in each other and has placed between them affection and mercy. This serves as a reminder for those who ponder upon the signs of God.
It is important to understand that men are not merely sources of financial support and should not be treated as such. They are human beings with emotions, desires, and needs that should be respected and fulfilled within the bounds of a healthy and loving relationship.
In the USA, marriage often involves considerations of tax benefits and financial security, which may differ from traditional views of marriage. Additionally, marriage and divorce are now primarily legal matters rather than solely social and religious ones. The court determines divorce proceedings.

HI guys, need advice on behalf of a friend who wants to FIRE? Can the husband retire, and can both husband and wife retire?
a) Age - 44 yrs / 44 yrs / 6 yrs,
b) Husband, wife, kid,
c) City - Bangalore,
d) Corpus - Total 3.5 crs, split between fixed income of Rs 1 cr @ 7.5% and equity of Rs 2.5 cr,
e) currently both husband and wife work, net take home of >60 lacs pa,
f) All inclusive expenses (excluding school) of Rs 12 lacs pa,
g) School fee of Rs 4 lacs pa.
h) Dont intend to purchase a house
i) Additional Provision made for medical expenses of Rs 0.5 crs, apart from term insurance and medical insurances.
Happy to provide more information for the advice.
thanks!!

I am so unsure about my wife.

Dear Reddit. I come to you with my hat in my hand as I do not know what to do. I am split down the middle in terms of self respect, love, and fear.

I 36(M) have known my wife 35(F), since we were 18, and have been married since 2016

We have 2 kids M(8), F(9), a house, jobs, cars, dogs.

But things from the past have now come back to haunt me, and I am unsure about everything, about respect, love, pride, attractiveness, safe to say my mind is in the biggest turmoil it has ever been. I’m going to cut straight to the chase, with a little about me in order to get my point across as clear as I can.

We met young, and I found my soulmate with no prior experience with woman. She was my first everything, while I know that she has had a few sexual partners. This didn’t bother me at first, but years down the line I found out that while I was head over heels for this girl, she met with a random guy and had sex. (We were not a couple then, but became a few weeks later) She has not had many sexual partners; from what I’ve been told I am her 7th partner.

I must admit still to this day that, this episode doesn’t affect me much anymore, but with all that has/is happening right now its re-surfaces and stings like a needle.

Throughout our relationship she has done things that crosses my boundaries. Let me come with the examples here:

1) We were at a party with mutual friends, and one of our friends was hooking up with a guy, we went into their room and started teasing them as they were making out. Out of the blue, my wife, then girlfriend, grabbed his crotch and said “It’s not even hard” right in front of me, I obviously got furious, and we had a fight but made up over a few days.

2) During her school year, she had to travel to Germany with her class, and be with a German family as part of her education, sort of like an exchange student. While she was in Germany she went out with her entire class for drinks, and from what she says there was a few guys that was making moves on her, and since she got drunk and had no way to figure out how to get home safe to her exchange family, she decided to head home with one of her male classmates to his exchange family and went to sleep in his room. As she put it, he slept on the floor, and she slept in the bed. And he was a friend, not one of those making moves.

3) We were once again with mutual friends at a BBQ and was later heading out into the cityLife to hit up bars and discos. Me and my best friend were on the toilet, putting wax in our hair, putting on fresh cologne and all that jazz. She the suddenly burst in, saying she really needs to pee, proceeds to pull down her pants and thong, honestly from what I remember you could see everything. We had a big fight about this again.


4) This episode was last summer during two mutual friends that got married. She was the toastmaster, and after all was done, she needed to do a wardrobe change. We went to our hotel room; she got changed to another more comfortable dress. While walking back, we could see some of our mutual friends with their husbands, and she decided to lift up her entire dress up to the start of her bra and do a silly side-to-side dance. Everyone saw it no questions asked. I again got furious, and I told her calmly, that I will not tolerate this, and be disrespected like this, there is other men seeing what only I should be seeing. She apologized immediately, and I said, I don’t want to talk more about this now, as I don’t want to ruin the night. We didn’t talk about it afterwards.

5) This is a month ago. She was celebrating her 35 birthday and went out with all her girls. One of her girlfriends is addicted to social media, and she must post everything. I have a very strict rule when it comes to nights out, this goes both ways.
Example 1 to 3 was when we were from the ages of 19 - 25

1. Don’t dance with other men!
2. Don’t go away from the venue alone!
3. Don’t take a pirate taxi, or a normal taxi home, call me instead!
4. Don’t flirt (This is a grey area, you cannot define flirting so if she flirts a little it’s fine, but don’t overdo it kind of way)
At this party I saw a video from the social media addicted girlfriend of hers on her snapchat story of my wife dancing and having a blast, she looked so good, and so happy, and I smiled when I saw it, quickly my smile faded away as a guy approached holding out both his hands towards my wife, and she looked different then, I can’t put it as to why, it’s like her personality changed, she looked very keen on going with this guy, to the dance floor, the exit, the toilets I don’t know because I could not see much from the video. What happened next is one of her other girlfriends grabbed her hard and pulled her away from the guy and the video ended.

I was the designated driver that night, so when she would call me in the night, I would come pick up her, and girlfriends and drive them home safely. But I got a call from one of her girlfriends that they could not find my wife anywhere and that she has been gone for like 30 minutes, they asked if I could track her from “Find my iPhone” but I have not saved her location so I could not. I got scared that she broke rule nr. 2 and that something bad might have happened.

Also in my mind, I thought about the video I saw, and then all else mentioned above. All the instances where she crossed my boundaries came flooding in. I am not proud of it. My first thought was her safety, the second thought was, did she envelope with this guy, and is doing something a married woman should not. Her girlfriend that called me, called me back 10 minutes later, saying they found her, and that she was just escorting the social media addicted girlfriend to her car, as she was not drinking, she basically broke rule nr. 2. I got relieved she was ok. But the pit in my stomach was still there.

I later picked them all up, and on the whole drive my wife obviously drunk, kept talking about nothing than men/boys “And then there was this guy” “And this guy looked like name of a friend we know” “and this guy reminded me so much of our boy” on and on, I was upset at this point, not showing it, but in my head I wanted to scream. All these emotions, all these times my line was crossed, the sex she had with another guy while I was in love with her. I know this is some sort of PTSD.

We got home, I put her to bed. And a few days went by, where I was silent, hurt, and went to the gym as much as I could as I could not look at her without being sad, hurt, angry. After about a week when we were lying in bed, I told her not to say anything but just to listen. It went something like this (it was not smooth at all, but I needed to get it out)

“In all our time together, you have touched a man’s crotch in front of me, went with another man and slept in the same room, not that I think anything happened between you two. You have basically shown your lady part, and butt to one of my best friends with me being present, at the wedding you decided to flash nearly your entire body to your girlfriends and their husbands in front of me, and lately at your birthday party (I explained the video) and then you were gone for like 40 minutes with no one knowing where you were. I’m not saying you did anything, but can you see how all of this puts a boulder in my stomach?”

She cried and said we have talked about this before, and we have, many times. I let say her piece. But in my mind, it went something like this:

“Yes we have talked about it many times before, but you keep triggering everything by crossing my boundaries, and you know it, so don’t cry and play the victim, this is your fault, and just because we have talked about it 2-4 times doesn’t mean that my feelings just disappear, feelings takes times, and when you constantly say sorry but then do it again, how am I suppose to heal?” I know I should have said this out loud, but I just got so small in the moment, as I opened up about some deep feelings.

This brings me to now. Why I am reaching out for external inputs on how to proceed.

I feel emasculated as a man, I feel disrespected, I do not feel like the most important person for her, I’m angry, hurt, and all of this has led me down following options none of which I want to do, but I feel like I must in order to respect myself, and say enough is enough.
1) I have been thinking of divorce.
2) Swallow my pride and move on, maybe talk it over with a professional.
3) Continue as always.
4) Give her an ultimatum, that if she crosses any of these in the future, I am gone for good.
It’s all very hard, because I love her so much, I love my kids, I don’t want to destroy everything. But I can’t handle being disrespected and emasculated any longer, and have my boundaries crossed again.

I trust her fully when she says nothing has ever happened, she is not that kind of girl, but you can always be surprised down the road.
Am I controlling, is this all justified in your eyes, am I wrong?
Any help, tips, how to proceed, personal opinions is welcome.
TL;DR Wife keeps crossing boundaries in the relationship, should I leave or stay?

Sunday my husband (25m) and his two siblings (27m and 22f) were planning to spend the day with their maternal side of the family but their paternal grandparents asked if they could do something too. So we arranged a lunch for them to get together. It was an earlier lunch so they could make it in time for the other things they had planned with the maternal side. The thing they were not expecting was their dad and his wife, who they are no contact with, to be there. Their grandparents surprised them with this after we all got there and it was awkward as hell. It was also my 3rd time meeting their dad.
Their dad's wife kept watching them and trying to get their attention. They ignored her. Then she outright asked where her Happy Mother's Day wishes were which they ignored. She asked about gifts and tried to claim the gifts all three brought for their grandmother. BIL told her nothing was for her and why would she ever think they'd get her anything. GFIL tried to calm things down by talking over everyone but it didn't work because their dad's wife just got louder. She started listing off all the gifts she'd received from them when they were kids and living with her and her husband (FIL). SIL told her they weren't ever actually from them and that their dad had bought them and added their names but it was nothing to do with them. Their dad's wife then turned on SIL and blamed her saying she manipulated the boys to feel the same as she did and it was wrong because they were all young enough when their "birth mother" died for them to embrace and benefit from a new mother. My husband laughed at that and said SIL was the youngest and only 5 when their mom died and their dad went out to replace her ASAP because he was pathetic and didn't want to raise his own kids. He said she clearly thought SIL was a very very manipulative and intelligent 5 year old to believe that and pointed out she was very quick to always blame SIL for things. BIL added they were never going to accept some random person who came in months after their mom died and attempted to assert her dominance over them as a "mother". He said he didn't care if their dad was unfair to her as well because she was downright evil to try and replace their mom. It got so heated that I suggested to my husband that we just move on.
Later that night my husband's grandparents called me to apologize and said they had no idea how things went so wrong. This is where I might be TA because I told them they shouldn't have surprised their grandkids by inviting FIL and his wife like that if they wanted the lunch to go better. I told his grandparents that they know my husband and his siblings are no contact and no love for their dad or his wife and they know they used to fight all the time. His grandparents told me it shouldn't need to be a surprise and I should understand their POV better. They also told me it's rude to rub it in after they apologized to me.
AITA?

Hi there everyone, I kind of curious, I have been writing a crossover fanfic in the style of Super Robot Wars storylines. One of the Franchises I want to add is RWBY, however, I never really got into the series until playing Blazblue Cross Tag Battle and during his time I started read up on the series on various wiki pages.
So, if I'm wrong on any details or something does seem to match the character's personalities, please tell me!
In this point of the fanfic, it took place after my idea of an ending to the series, so here goes nothing!
The white haired huntress explained why she feels this is the case, telling them the story of her younger brother and his road for redemption.
For the longest of times, Whitley had nothing but hatred for his older sisters and saw the hunters and huntresses as below him, mocking Weiss every moment he had while she was under house arrest. Escaping from this sham of a home, she swore the boy and their father were nothing but monsters and for their actions were things that she never could forgive. That is until it was after the arrest of their father and their manor being invaded by Grimms that cracks were showing in his facade of pettiness.
"During that fight, Whitley wanted nothing but to run off, until he saw our mother fighting against the Grimm before falling from the underuse of her Semblance when he knew he needed to help."
After saving Willow and learning from their mother that Whitley was as much of a victim as anyone else that the middle child chose to mend their damaged relationship. During the fall of their home Kingdom of Atlas, he continued to help by having all the SDC Saircrafts to save anyone and everyone to relocate the people to Vacuo. When the Team RWBY and Jaune return from Ever After, he became part of the attacking forces as a commander to help defeat Salem's forces.
In the final battle, He was present to witness Ruby Rose and Kairi sparing the now depowered and mortal Salem, who was told to simply live with reminders of her sins haunting her until the day she died, as this was her last life. "While we watch Salem leaving to parts unknown, I thought Whitley was going to say something foolish, but to my surprise, he only watched.
In the four weeks after Salem's defeat, Whitley began his new life but it was something to adjusted to as he worked a part time job and began to start classes in that first week The heir of whatever remained of the SDC let his hair grow out slightly, he may have been inspired by a picture of Jaune's appearance during his time in Mistral but still kept a very clean appearance.
It wasn't until a week ago that there were some Jacques' old associates from Vacuo wanted to give Whitley the position of CEO of a new company, one named Phoenix Ash.
"At first, I thought he just wanted to go back to his old ways of life when he agreed to the deal, Asked from me was to trust him about this..."
Out of the blue, The new CEO of the Phoenix Ash Group called for a Public Announcement. Weiss and Winter were watching on a monitor in an aircraft outside of the city. Fearing for the worst, that he would be making empty promises to make a postive public image, the boy spoke of ending the practices of abusing Fanuas workers. This was a lie that their father made to the press when he was alive, before the young CEO spoke of his new idea.
When questioned by the Press, Whitley told the world that he his idea was to start finding better sources than just Dust to rely on, so he would put his own Lien that he held on since childhood to fund this research. If this research was successful, then he would personally see to the closure of all Dust Mines under the Pheonix Ash banter but threaten that if any of the Fanuas workers were harmed during his time as CEO, that under his leadership that he personally see it that the abusers' paychecks would go to their victims and repeated offenders would be fired as quickly as possible. The two sisters begin to noticed that four of The Board Members who hired him were in shaking in their boots.
"Young Sir, please think of the words you speak..." one of Jacques' remaining associates on the board begged to hopefully conviced the boy to reconsider these ideas
"I am fully aware of the words coming from my mouth as much as you were aware of letting my father's actions slide so you can make more Lien. So, to be quite blunt, SHUT IT OR FIND NEW JOBS!" This wasn't like the boy they once knew while Jacques was thriving, he was a new Whitley Schnee that wouldn't be swayed by the idea of making Lien in dishonest ways and wouldn't allow anyone under his leadership to harm the Faunus workers.
"DAMNED BLEEDING HEART BRAT, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE JACQUES, THE REAL HEIR OF THE NAME OF SCHNEE!"
The oldest board member, a muscular bald man of over fourty who was still extremely loyal to the deceased CEO of SDC, charged at the youth with a knife! The youngest of the Schnee clan knew there would be risks, but didn't have any fighting experience to counter this attack.
"WHITLEY!" Weiss cried out as she knew she wouldn't be able to stop the would be killer's attempt of assassination, however, a certain green eyed Faunus, who's loyalites to Robyn Hill last to this day, arrived in enough time to stopped the youth's would be killer.
"You really think that Fiona Thyme would let you kill your new boss? As IF!"
Within a mere set of seconds, the man of three hundred and something pounds was on the ground, each insult that was aimed at the girl was countered with his former boss nodding for the girl to wack the creep across his bald head. This last for a couple of minutes until the police to take his sorry ass to jail as well as charging the Faunus with a minor crime. The girl knew that there would no way to escape but chose not to surrender as she put her hands behind her head much to the cheers of some in the crowd.
However, In those five seconds before the cuffs closed on her hands, The CEO jumped off of the platform and stood in between the messy haired Faunus girl and the arresting officer, slapping the cuff out of the man's hands to the shock of the world. When asked to step aside, the boy's answer to this was something everyone in Remnant, who were either in the crowd or watched from afar from their scrolls, never expected.
"You're really asking me to step aside, so you could take away a war hero's future? I choose to refuse for we all know these charges against her are nothing but baseless. She fought on the side of various heroes! Heroes ] from the Battle of Beacon, like the Teams: RWBY, JNPR, SSSN, FNKI, ABRN and CFVY, the heroes without teams like Lady Kairi, Qrow Branwen, and Taiyang Xiao Long, Heroes like Ilia Amitola and the Belladonna clan who were once White Fang members but left before the assassination of Sienna Khan and return to fight to stop the once peaceful group when they saw what it became under the command of Adam Taurus, heroes like the remaining members of the Ace Operatives, who fought their own feelings of sadness when they lost Clover Ebi and came together after they realized James Ironwood was in the wrong, after the man fell into despair because of how the upper class saw the innocent victims in Remnant and used Atlas as a ram to prevent the Grimm from gaining another advantage point. These groups of heroic and wonderful people came together to save the world from the forces of Salem, so why can't we, the civilains they protected, do the same?!"
There were some mutters from the civilians that watch on the ground level before one of the rich members of the crowd, a man named Harry Marigold, brought up that Weiss may have saved the world but of her crime of summoning the Grimm at the charity event at Schnee Manor should be held accountable before the youth counter with.
"The crime that night was one in justified anger when you, Harry Marigold, who ignored her sadness and only wanted my sister's attention for bragging rights, that damnable trophy wife, her weak minded shell of a husband, the former CEO of the SDC, myself and many others of the Upper Class chose to cruely mocked the recently deceased of Vale and proudly laughing about the deaths of the many innocents of the fallen Kingdom who had nothing to do with the fighting. fates we claimed that civilains deserved!? If anything, she didn't summoned the Grimm to harm anyone but wanted us demons to understand that life is not to be taken as a joke or anything to not to be take lightly. The real crime that night was that the Grimm didn't caused more damages to Schnee manor and not having the monster hurt any of us because of our cruelity to the dead! But because the CEO of SDC cared for nothing but his public image, when she confronted that scumbag for our actions and for using her as a prize toy for everyone to see, his only reaction was to slapped my sister across her face and denied her Birthright!
This made the rich members of the crowd uneasy, as they knew that they were being put in their places. They wanted the youth to be silenced but he continued, angry and filled with something that he should've had a long time ago, a frightful sense of Justice.
"For too damn long, I was blinded by my family's name, not knowing it was nothing but an evil curse and if it wasn't for my sister's actions that night and the night her team and the remaining members of team JNPR saved the lives of my poor mother and the sorry shell of a person. I, too, would've remained under the very same spell of ignorance that the old fool relished in to keep us in line. So, for you to order me around, to use my sister justified attempt on the upper class to see her honorable view on life so who could silence my words, and to force this maiden, who has fought harder than anyone here because fearful paranoia bigots using unjust hatred of every Faunus to make her life a living torture device, for her to rot in a prison cell without a fair trial, just for saving my life? That command is UNFORGIVABLE!" The boy screamed loudly and in pure rage so everyone could hear his plea.
Fiona was in shock, she heard from various communities of the Faunus that the SDC and clan of Schnee were nothing but monsters, worse than any of Salem's Grimms. Even after meeting the huntresses of Team RWBY, she believed Weiss was the only one of the family who wanted to set things right in the world.
Even through she hated the idea to keep an eye on the Schnee heir, even if it was a jobn from her trusted leader. His father and the fellow members of the Board in the SDC saw the Faunus and wanted nothing but for them to be trapped in cages without futures, But to see with her eyes, the very son made to follow in these footsteps of selfish desires, meaning every single word that left his mouth, these words that were filled with a justified desire to save the young girl from an unfair fate, was so unreal.
"If anything, it was the wicked ideas of greed that the deceased CEO held dear tt were one of the many factors that broke our world, Jacques Sc..." The boy stopped for less than a second before continuing in anger.
"....Actually no, I refuse to allow that bastard to my family's name any longer, even in death! Jacques Gélé was never a father, he was nothing but an unredeemable thief without a sense honor, who used dirty lies to trick my dying grandfather into his once humble life, the honorable man that should've had the right to lived long enough to prevent the future Gélé wanted, Nicholas Schnee!"
"Who used my recently deceased mother's, Willow Schnee, love and trust to steal a company he was never worthy to rule over from underneath her. When she learned of his deception and his lies in their sham of a relationship, the once loving and carring mother only means to escape from his wicked virus was to drink her sorrows away and seclude herself from the world!
"His sickness was something that their three children were not immuned to as he saw nothing from us but to be used as pawns so he could gain more power! It wasn't until we learned better ways to live by others, others who actually cared, that we actually became good people!"
"The first of us was to learn this lesson was The Soldier who proven herself time and time again, who enlisted in the Atlas military to get away from the sickness that Gélé took pleasure in, who leaders knocked the views of hatred for the Faunus and the usage of cheap tricks out of her, my oldest sister, Commander Winter Schnee!
"My second oldest sister, Huntress Weiss Schnee, who learn of the shame that her family name carried at her time in Beacon, who was forced to leave after the battle by Gélé for supposed safety only to be paraded around as a prize trophy daughter for his friends in the upper class, who felt the sting of venom when that man refused to accept her heroic heart, forcing her to escape his maddess so she could continued helping those who were suffering!"
"And then there's myself, Whitley Schnee, the boy who was so scared with the various changes to his home life that he chose to follow in that thief's footsteps, who once mocked the dead of Beacon along with the others in the Upper Class, who has never fought for anything and even in that last battle, was so powerless to prevent more tragedies for befall those he commanded to fight on his behalf! The boy who's heart is filled with so much regret because of his idiotic choices in life but is now filled a newly found sense of Justice, who only goal now is to find a cure for the poison, so he could, no! will make our world a better place than it was in the past!"
The crowd was stunned thar they couldn't help but to stay silent.
"Gélé has cause so much suffering to the Faunus and to many other communities. That suffering spread in the Kingdoms like wildfire. When my grandfather died, so did the fairness and honor that the Schnee name held on to....but not anymore! MY DREAM is to stop the suffering that Gélé relished in so he could live like a damn lazy king!
Whitley then put his hands behind his head and told the world.
"So if this girl goes to prison, so will I! All I asked of those listening is not to cheer no matter what the outcome is, not to cry for this foolish boy who has fought for nothing, but to simply think about his words and the weight they pull!" Whitley's blood was boiling as The puppet CEO's bight blue eyes widden to show everyone that his dream was one that the boy will work for through his pain.
After this decree was finished, everything was slient before the officer asked. "Would you die for that dream..?"
Whitley, answered with all seriousness. "If I die, then I would gladly die with a hundred stabs to my heart and soul to make damn sure that my dream becomes reality." The officer waved to another cop to bring in a second set of handcuffs, much to both cops dismay.
"Alright, I'm sorry. Whitley Schnee for disobeying a officer of the law, you have to come with us."
Whitley said not a word as the cuffs latched onto his hands. As if to respect the boy's wishes, There were no one in the crowd, maybe even in Remnant, cheering about the arrest of these two, even though the boy said he had nothing but hatred of those that surround Gélé mocking those that died in Beacon, none of the them wanted nor could cheer, for to celebrate this would be nothing but hallowed.
On route to the department to put the two in the holding cells until they could make bond, the two talked, mostly it was Whitley asking the girl a thousands questions of the culture of the Faunus, the life she lived before becoming a war hero and so on. The poor girl was shaking with overwhelmingness but snapped out of it when Whitley explained something to her.
"This is the second time you saved me from the door of death, thank you, Lady Thyme."
Fiona was slightly confused before slowly piecing together that in the final battle she rushed to the location of downed aircraft, where a gravely injured woman layed under some debris being protected by her white haired son with a mere wooded stick he found on the ground screaming. "GET AWAY! YOU GRIMMS!" before being knocked backwards and then being held by his throat.
"HEY FANG FACES, I'M MORE OF A CHALLENGE THAN THOSE TWO!" The Fanaus screamed while the Grimm let the boy go to blocked her attack.
"KID! TAKE YOUR MOM AND GET OUTTA HERE, I CAN'T HOLD THIS GUY OFF FOREVER!"The boy nodded as he grabbed his mother and ran off, not knowing that he would plan to thank the maiden the next time they meet.
"No freaking way, you're that boy?"
"Yeah...but I'm not proud to admit that I'm not one for fighting." Whitley smiled as this surprised the girl.
To think, the meek boy she saved that one time and the guy who wanted to help others despite his family's reputation were the same person? How would this day become more of a weird fever dream?
"Hey you two, I hate to burst this bubble but ready for a fight, there was another vehicle besides ours that was on their way to the department." A male's voice explained when they noticed a man in a grey cloak sitting in the darkest corner of the vehicle.
"Before you asked, I've been here for the entire trip."
"Why is that important?" The only woman of the three thought while the Schnee youth figured it out.
"That ghoul of a Board Member?"
"'Faid so, he was taken in sometime before your speech and there are only two holding cells in the department, one for men and the other for women." The man explained.
"I could use my semblance to hold him in a..." Fiona was stopped when the mystery man continued.
"...And to prevent any escapes, the cells and those cuffs on your hands are laced with anti-semblance tech."
Fiona screamed. "OH CRAP!"
Whitley was shaken but kept cool as he thought. "I guess as this is a smaller scale city, I should've figured as much."
"Are you actually prepared to die for your ideas?" The man asked the boy, but his answer was simple.
"I'm not planning to back down now, to betray those words I spoke earlier, would be a wicked sin."
Meanwhile in an aircraft a little ways off. Both Weiss and Winter were dumbfounded by their brother's speech and actions. "He has changed so much since weeks ago." The middle child thought before Winter demanded the pilot to land that at the port nearest to the city.
Yang, Kairi, Jaune, Ruby, and Blake were on the aircraft but was confused by the sudden change of directions, before the commander explained. "The Board member that tried to killed our brother was sent to the holding cell in the department before Whitley's speech."
"OH CRAP!" Ruby and Weiss screamed as they thought in dismay that the boy was going to be in an one sided fight against a heavier opponent.
"Please hold on for a bit longer, Younger Brother..." Winter quietly whispered as the Aircraft was going as fast as possible to their destination.
Upon arriving and being settle in the two holding cells, it was when the guards left the redeemer was being used as a punching bag for the man's humiliation.
"DAMN BRATTY ASSED PUNK!"
"UGHHH!" Whitley groaned, being punched for a hour, his clothing became ragged and bloody.
"LEAVE WHITLEY ALONE!" Fiona cried out at the tallest in the men's holding cell, she was in the womens' holding cell that was across the room, luckly for her, she was alone in the women's side but not for Whitley, making things worse is that the guards were sent out on an emergency call, as their thinning numbers were sent out because of a few bomb threats elsewhere in the city.
"SHUT IT, SHEEPIE! I GOING KEEP BEATING THIS BRAT UNTIL HE UNDERSTANDS HIS PLACE IN THE UNIVERSE!"
"..." The man in the hood remained quiet as he watched this uneven fight. "You should stay down..."
"...As if I would..." The Schnee boy rose back to his feet through he knew nothing of throwing punches he refused to surrender just to spite the former Board Member of Phoenix Ash.
"HEH, for a skinny brat, you're stubborn, be a good little boy and admit that you're nothing but a puppet then I'll quit your rightly deserved beatings!"
Whitley regained his balance before flipping a bird claiming. "You...really...think this..puppet would let some smug ass with no respect for anyone but those in the Upper Class to order me around? SCREW....YOU!" The boy yelled spiting blood onto the man's ghoulish face to annoy the monster in human flesh.
"...WHY YOU LITTLE MAGGOT!" The man was even more enraged now, as he punched the stomach of the younger male causing the boy fall onto the cold floor.
Fiona was horrified as she witness the former spoiled prince rose back to his feet.
"Still standing boy?"
The youth was still standing to a point, until the man pulled a dirty shiv he found in the holding cell while waiting for this very moment. The two youths' eyes widden when they saw the makeshift weapon of sharpen hard plastic.
"...A weapon!?" Fiona cried out in dismay.
"Some poor sap must have made this sometime ago, makes me wonder where he could be now, anywho while I am slicing into your flesh, Whitley, I'm going tell what I thought of those pretty little ideas of yours."
The Faunus was in a state of fear for the young puppet CEO as the shiv user quickly sliced into the white haired youth's shoulder, with this the first time being cut, Whitley scream in pain.
"AHHHHGNN!"
"FIRST, YOU WANT TO FREE THE ANIMALS FROM OUR CAGES, THEY HAVE NO RIGHTS TO A FUTURE IN OUR SOCIETY!
The next was a stab on his left upper leg, luckly not hitting anything vitals as makeshift blade of sharp hard plastic was pulled out and blood dripped onto the flooring The boy's screams of pain echoing through the empty department.
"NEXT, WE CAN'T MAKE ANY LIEN IF BLEEDING HEARTS, LIKE WHAT YOU'VE BECOME, ARE IN CHARGE OF THINGS!"
The attacker then sliced the right side of Whitley's face leaving a scar under his eye.
"THE FACE OF THE BOY WITH A NAME THAT NOWS MEANS NOTHING TOTHE WORLD, USING TRUTHS TO PISS ON THE LEGACY THAT JACQUES BUILT, JUST SO HIS SON COULD REBUILD THE HONOR THAT IT HELD WHEN THAT WINDBAG WAS STILL KICKING! WHAT FREAKIN DRIVEL!"
then a slash across his chest.
"THAT BLEEDING HEART OF YOURS WANTING REDEMPTION SO HE COULD HAVE SOME ATTENTION BUT GUESS WHAT THERE'S NO SUCH THING IN THE BUSINESS WORLD OR IN THE REMAINING KINGDOMS OF REMNANT AS REDEMPTION!"
Then the right hand of the boy, the one Whitley pull in front of his body in an poor attempt to grabbed the makeshift Shiv.
"THESE HANDS OF A SOFT SPOILED LITTLE BOY WHO, EVEN IN THE LAST BATTLE AGAINST THE GRIMM FORCES, NEVER THREW A PUNCH OR SLAP ANYONE, ARE SUPPOSED TO CHANGE THE WORLD, ALL YOU HAVE DONE IN THAT BATTLE WERE ORDERING SOLDIERS TO FIGHT FOR YOU, SOLDIERS WHO SHOULD HAVE SEEN WHAT YOU'VE BECOME!"
Finishing this rant with a punch to the gut, and mocking his braverly. "TELL ME THIS, BOY? WHEN THIS SPINE OF YOURS GREW, DID YOUR STUPIDITY DOUBLED, BECAUSE COMPARED TO YOUR DAD, YOU'RE SUCH AN DOLT TO BELIEVE YOUR OWN CRAP!"
"WHITLEY! STOP, YOU'RE KILLING HIM!" Fiona screamed as the man got on top of the boy's body and punch the white haired youth's face twice before the monster yelled at the girl.
"I SAID SHUT IT SHEEP! YOU MAYBE A WAR HERO THAT I CAN'T PUT MY HANDS ON BUT YOU'RE GOING TO WATCH AS THE HOPES OF THIS BOY DIES ALONG WITH HIS BODY!"
Getting off of the beaten body of the Schnee, the man let Whitley try to get up before the boy fell on his stomach and the man grabbed the white hairs of his his head and pulled his face up, so the redeemer would look into Fiona's green eyes for a last time, one filled with tears.
"ACTUALLY, IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE OF HER STATUS AS A WAR HERO, THE SHEEP WILL GET OUT IN THE END OF THE DAY AND BE ON HER WAY HOME, BUT YOU JUST HAD TO PLAY HERO AND FOR WHAT, WHITLEY SCHNEE?! FOR YOUR REMAINS TO BE MY PUNCHING BAG UNTIL I TRANSFER TO PRISON?....IT'S SO FREAKING SAD THAT I'M LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!"
The redeemer, who's face full of buises, forgotten that this is the case for minor first time offenders but didn't care at all. Ever since Fiona saved his and his mother's lives that day, he would've happily be arrested and be beaten, time after time, so he could thank her. He wanted to smile, to show his savior that he was happy with this outcome, even this meant that his life ended today, but could barely move his face but the only could wheezingly chuckled as tears as swell from his eyes
Before the man could finished Whitley off, a small blackout happened as the doors of the cells opened, Fiona ran to the boy who risked his life just so he could to talk to her. "WHY?!" Fiona cried she held the youth in her arms. "WHY CAN'T MONSTERS LIKE YOU SEE THAT THIS A NEW WORLD, THAT WE CAN BECOME BETTER THAN WE ONCE WERE." The green eyed girl demanded anwers but the man just mocked to anwered the Fuanus.
"Do you think animals like you could understand that only the strong and the Upper Cass are the only ones who have the right to control Remnant. He could have been one of those in control and still have enough Lien to be someone important but he chose to ally with the lower class, and for little lamb he paying for it, dearly."
Putting the boy's head gently on the floor wiping the tears on her sleeve, to hopefully keep friend she made safe for a bit longer, she attempted to use Pocket Demisions to rid the world of this demon, only to realize in the middle of her attack, the power returned and because she ran to help the youth, that she was in the men's holding cell with the real beast.
"....No!" She wimpered.
"Looks like there's some of my fellow board members of Phoenix Ash are still on my side." He smiled wickening as he began to explain their plans. "You see, little Sheep, we figured the boy has a bleeding heart, so to get rid of those childish wishes to loosen our hold, we decided yesterday to make up a plan, the one that you had to prevent. So during that little speech of his, we made a second one on the fly." He continued as he put his hand on an earpiece. "...That one being the threats to distract the guards and that little blackout. Plus thanks to this little device, my semblance to increase my strength with every attack I give, still remains."
"This can't be...." She was scared, as this man that she could taken down a few mere hours ago, was telling the truth when every step he made while approaching Fiona made small cracks in the flooring.
"Damn it, We going need to cause another..." A voice explained though the earpiece before he turned off the equipment's sound option.
"Now, since you annoyed me so much, you're going be my replacement, lamb chops!" The upsuper yelled in bliss as he pulled his fist to punch her small body. She dodged the attack but his second punch connected and sent her flying into the force field door.
"AUHHGGG!" She cried out, recoiling in the pain from her back before noticing the man was coming for her, managing to get up but unable to dodge it completely in this cramped arena. She felt the punch connected with her left arm, braking the bones in the limb, Then a kick to her gut. Knocking her a few inches near Whitley's body.
"....No...."
The youngest of the Schnee clan could only watch in despair through one eye, the two were being broken by a scummy excuse of a human, and the young redeemer of his name could do nothing but watched as his attempt to prove to the world his words were real go down in flames.
"...Leave...her...alone..." These words spit out ignoring the pain as much as he could while rising back to his feet and limping to get in between the Faunus woman and her attacker.
"So, the boy still has some fighting spirit...The boy that has never fought for anything in his life, I am certain that you're doing this for everyone's attention."
The man was right on a few things, Whitley was never a fighter or some ground troop, and it may have been that he wanted attention when he first started to go down this road but Winter quickly knocked that idea out of his head, but the man is wrong on others, for Whitley realize that all he wanted to do in life is to help in anyway, even he'll be happy as a sideliner act to the main heroes.
But one can't always stay in that role and hoped to change the world, for a long time he stood by as a witness to to his father's crimes, for longer his thoughts of heroism being dismissed by that bogus excuse of a father and as far as he remembered, Whitley had others fight for him. But no more!
"In this world, money and power pull the strings, and yet you choose death for a flithy animal? How more times are you going to PISS M-!" The man was interrupted while talking by, to the surprise of all, the white haired boy headbutting his taller foe, knocking the man onto his ass!
"...WHAT!?" The man screamed in horror as he started to bleed from his now broken nose, this was the first time the business man has ever seen his own blood.
"...I've...told...the world...I...would die for my dream....even if I die today....I'll be happy to die...hundred times over again..." The boy's body was mostly broken, each word he spoke caused more pain than his body could stand but the young man still had one part of his body to fight with, his hard head!
The next thing they all knew, Whitley continued headbutting his enemy, causing the man to gain a reality check, his ability were increasing his attacks but at a certain cost, The sole major weak point on his body, the one that held the brain to think of ways to screwed others over, the one with the eyes that saw everyone else as beneath him and the one with the mouth with a booming voice he used to make threats and promises to ruin his foes, his face weaken over time with every punch or kick he gave to the two.
"NONONONONO!" The man screamed with a bloodied and bruised face, before feeling the same despair he installed into his two victims just mere minutes ago. In a desperate attempt to stop these attacks, he grabbed the man in the cloak as a hostage, with the shiv he used on the boy still in his possession.
"You-ou wouldn't w-wan...me to stab some r-random person that had nuthing to do with this, uh?!" These ragged words were like the man himself, desperate and scummy, but was enough to stop the boy from getting closer.
The foe laughed thinking he has the upper hand. "I admired your old man's talent in making a profit, but he was just like you to a certain point, he was no killer, so now I advise we wait until they let us out or I'll be plunging..."
"Tsk...This old fart really been pissing me off since we got here!"
The cloaked man yelled as he stepped on the foot of his captor along with a gunshot ringing though the air. "W-WHAT!?" The man screamed in pain as he released his hold to grabbed his now bleeding foot. "DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT!" The larger man screamed before realizing why his leg strength wasn't up to snuff. While being headbutted by his Whitley, the earpiece fell out and was behind his two victims!
"No way this is happening...." He groaned in pain before the cloaked male took off his hood, just to make things worse for the would be assassin.
"...and here I thought I would have a peaceful life in prison..." The man sighed as he revealed himself to be a fomer ally of Salem, one who wanted nothing more but to rot in prisons for the remaining of his life.
"M-Mercury B-B-Black, why is a war criminal here?!" The man screamed, fearing for his life even more than before.
"I was supposed to transfer into the next city, mostly for some good behavior BS..." Mercury turned his attention to the white haired boy.
"Hey kid, you're the brother to that girl Weiss, right?"
"....." Whitley wanted to say something but really couldn't, with those last few headbutts, if he tried to speak now, he will surely faint.
"Man, the geezer really did a number on you, huh?" Mercury asked before = one of the guards and Whitley's sisters ran in.
"Holy...CRAP! WHITLEY!!"
"Why is our brother and Miss Thyme in the same cell as these two?!" Winter demanded answers before Mercury explained for panicing guard while pulling the earpiece from the ground.
"Whitley was being used by lord lard ass as a punching bag until few people from Pheonix Ash caused a short blackout, the girl ran in to stopped the beatings but was attacked as well until your little bro figuring out the buzzard's weakness by headbutting the man in his freakin' face. After that, The creep tried to use me as levelage but yeah, you can see how that worked out."
"DAMNED BRATS...." The man groaned as the two Schnee women got Whitley and Fiona out of this cell but froze in fear when he saw Winter staring down at the man.
"I figured that your group would pulled something like this when Whitley told me of the CEO position, so I looked into yours and the rest of the board's backgrounds...It was just as Black said, You and your three friends in the board of eight have more than just attempted assassination to worry about now."
This decree was worrying enough before Mercury Black turned his attention back to the older man."I guess I'm going to have a kicking dummy for a roommate now!"
"Please have mercy!" The man turned deathly pale before Fiona yelled.
"Like the mercy you shown to me and Whitley because he called out your sorry butt, I would think not!"
Weiss was next to insult the man for his behavior. "...If anything you deserve nothing but a fate in a cage, like the various futures you took away!"
"Looks like you're going to rot in a cell for the rest of your sad existence." Winter finished before the guards were told by the military commander to take her younger brother out of the room and to take his would be assassin to the other cell.
Before leaving, Winter asked the former ally of Salem.
"Mercury Black...Your sentence for your war crimes have been over with for a couple of months now, yet, you still choose to remain in prison, may I ask why?"
"Since Cinder died in the fight against our former partner and Salem's redemption attempt, I really don't have much else left. Besides it's like I've said during that battle with the hammerhead and her pretty boy lover, I have been forced to fight since I was born by a drunk abusive excuse of a dad, so even if I could be let back into society, I don't think I could be happy."
"You could've joined the military..." The eldest member of the Schnee replied before the younger male countered
"Yeah, but I hate following and giving orders, besides you've seen what this old bastard done to your brother, creeps like him and worse are everywhere in prison. So as long as I can beat them senseless, I'm freaking happy to serve more time for each brawl I get my ass into."
This silenced Winter for a couple of seconds before asking for two simple demands. "Just tell Em that I'm okay with how things ended between us, and tell her just to be happy with her new life, if she can do that, then that would give me some sort of peace."
A couple of hours later at the medical bay on the airship.
Kairi used the healing spell Curaga on both the boy and Fiona. "Thank you, Lady Kairi." Fiona bowed while still having her arm in a cast after Whitley opened his eyes, being healed.
"Hey, it's not a problem, but please, just call me Kairi for now on, okay, Fiona?"
"Ughh, what...Fiona..are you alright?" The redeemer asked his friend.
"Yes, but you took the blunt of the beating, please relax, Whitley." The Fanuas explained before the boy asked.
"Who payed for our bails? I doubt it was my sisters, our situation isn't as it once was."
At that moment, Weiss and Blake came in, the disowned heiress of the destroyed SDC was proud at the fact that her former enemy of a brother fought for what's right, explaining. "It those three you poined out from that charity that payed for your and Fiona's bonds."
"Huh?!" Fiona was taken back in surprise by this before the middle child of the Schnee family theorized
"My guess is, either your speech or being outed as horrible people that made those three pay with their own Lien to post bond. I only wished we got there quicker but the airport was on the other side of the city."
"That's good but I can only hope that the others in the crowd took my words to heart and none of the people recording that day alter the video."
...We can check for video or audio interferances later on today but something tells me those who heard your speech that they're going be thinking about it for a long time." Blake's words made the youngest member of the Schnee children a little more eased.
"If only mother lived to see her son became someone to be proud of." Weiss thought to herself that day before their last mission in Remnant before her universe was wiped from existence.
In the Hangar of the doomed Wunder, Weiss had a thought of what could've been the futures of the new CEO of Pheonix Ash and his loyal bodyguard could have been if their universe just lasted a little bit longer.
"Hey, Bozos I'm about to take the Eva-unit 02 F off of the ship, before figuring out a plan to stop Misato."
"Alright.." Aqua answered as the red-head walked towards the console before seeing something strange.
"You guys were here for the last hour right?"
"Yeah?" Duo answered before Asuka added.
"And no one else came in or tried anything funny right?"
"We've been here the entire time, what's with the questions, Langley?" Viral countered.
"...There's two signals of heat in the cockpit...."
"Umm what?" Jaune exclaimed as the console showing the statistics of the bulky armored version of Unit 02, showing two bodies of heat in the entry plug.
Before anything else was said in the group. A young male's voice came through the console. "Umm Hello? Can someone get us out of this thing?"
No one but the Schnee huntress recognize the youth's voice. "Whitley!?"
"Sis, can you hear me?"
Asuka spoke next, "How long were you two in the Evangelion for?"
"I think for three hours, oh right, Fi wanted to asked if there's any males in the area."
"Fiona's in there too?!" Wiess inner thoughts were of panic that were made worse after Jaune's answer.
"Yeah, there's four guys here, why?" Jaunne asked before Fiona screamed in embrassament.
"PLEASE GO TO THE OTHER ROOM OR SOMETHING, I CAN'T GO OUT LIKE THIS!"
"Fi, please relax..."
"RELAX!? YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE IN THIS THING WITH CLOTHES ON!" The girl whined while crying from embarrassment.
"Umm, could anyone bring clothing for Miss Thyme."
Duo began to smirked before being dragged by Viral into the next room. "Keep your dirty thoughts to yourself, Duo Maxwell..."
"Killjoy!" Duo screamed as Jonathan conviced Jaune to followed.
"Sir Arc, we should leave as well, as it is knights' honor to..."
"Already way ahead of you, Mr. Joestar. We'll see you all later when we come up with that plan!"
As this was all happening, an snore echoed out from behind the crates. "Is someone sleeping over there?" Aqua asked while checking to see who it might be.
There, Chibodee Crocket, of all people was in deep slumber, much to everyone's surprise.
"...We should wake him up..." Asuka sighed while Weiss went looking for any of the female members of the crew for some clothing.
But to the surprise of the two, he just walked into the next room while sleeping the entire time. "That...worked out way to well..."

So the day before Mother's Day, my husband (M34) tells me (F35) we are going to do a day trip with our toddler (age 4) to local city and I am so excited but I realize I am also so behind in house chores due to my stressful job and lack of consistent help from my husband.
So I tell him thank you but no trip and that we need to stay home and clean. He says he needs to leave that morning which I already know means he is going to go get flowers. So I offer to make breakfast because I woke up in a great mood.
He comes home with flowers in okay condition, some are wilted and gives me a sweater that he says I asked him to buy me for Mother's Day which I do love the sweater.
So I make pancakes for the family, pancakes with bananas, peanut butter drizzle and whipped cream and I don't have any due to dieting.
My husband asks me what the plans are today and I said I would love for us to get some things done around the house, he has had the ladder out for a couple days so I asked him to take down the Christmas decorations and pick up and also put ladder away and watch our toddler because I would be upstairs with the power tools dismantling our shelves to add in some different shelving and organizing the closet.
All the while I am talking he is working on a 3d print for his friends birthday in a few days.
I go upstairs and 30 minutes in, my toddler is climbing on me and I wait for my husband to collect him and... nothing
So I figure maybe he sent him because ladder plus toddler is not the best combo so I put the power tool away and just organize clothes and he never comes back up to get him, so I call him and he goes "oh yeah just send him down" and I ask if he can just come and get him and he does.
So two hours pass and I go downstairs to check on them and ask about lunch for them and they are watching TV and nothing is done, no dishes from this morning cleaned, no Xmas decorations taken down and I make my toddler a snack and go back upstairs to calm down before calling my husband and asked him why he hasn't cleaned. He said because he thought we stayed home so I could clean and not him. And alI I am doing is working on a room, we don't even use (It's a walk in closet in our bedroom)
I reminded him I said we and asked him to do several things this morning which he said "Oh, I thought that was something you asked me to do a couple weeks ago"
At this point I am just disappointed with the day and over it.
He does do the dishes, takes down the Xmas decorations and cleaned up and now we have to go see my family for dinner which I do not want to because they are very blunt and will want to know why I am such a sad state.
Luckily the toddler falls asleep in the car, so I have the great idea after we find out he is asleep to just give gifts since we are already hour late for dinner and leave and pick up food for the toddler after.
So I drop off the gifts, we leave to go another place to order food and I asked my husband if he can go in and get food and he says no and I ask him he wants anything and he says "No just go just go " I told him I rather not because it's very rude for him to rush me to leave and he says he was only doing that because he had to sneeze....okay....so I said "Just go home please, we can make something there"
So now he is pissy and accuses me of using him as a taxi driver and I just go off...
"This is supposed to be Mother's Day, the one day you treat me special and loved and show me you appreciate me. You got me some wilted flowers and a sweater. Thank you but it's Day, not two gifts Mother stuff"
Now he is pissed and saying I am ungrateful and he shouldn't have gotten me shit and I am the problem and I don't do shit for him. All day he watched our son and cleaned. He also said he didn't know how to make me feel special.
He normally does not curse at me so I said this not you talking. This your dad talking to your mother. (Not my best moment and I will admit it)
Welp that got him all riled up and we didn't talk the rest of the night or next day.
When I finally said I was still upset about yesterday, he goes "Of course, you are." and walks away.
When we finally do talk, he says that he was offended I would rather stay home then do his idea of a day trip to local city and I said the flowers were wilted and he got me a sweater and he cleaned after I told him too. He also said he felt ignored and like I didn't wanna hang out with him because I was organizing the closet. He said he felt unloved.
So am I the asshole?
Quick Q&A
Married for 12 years and together for 15 years
We have had issues with all holidays but even more since our son was born so couple years ago I gave him a list of my likes, links to things to do for your wife for birthday,and things you can do for free to make your spouse happy (he makes six figures but I think gifts can be acts of service as well) but he still says he doesn't know how
We are currently in couples therapy but he seems to try to manipulate the sessions?
Example, he wanted to go on a trip to buy video games stuff and we had already gone out of town the day before to buy video games stuff so I said Our grass at both houses need to be mowed, I think that needs our attention and if he isn't something he can do the he needs to hire help to which he replied That why can't I help him and I don't do anything to help him ever but to the therapist he goes oh I just didn't wanna do the lawn because it had rain the day before and the grass was wet and it was early. I asked him why he wasn't able to tell me that in the moment or revisit for the whole week and half after because I didn't know that and he was still able to mow later that day but only one house. He said he didn't know why he didn't tell me and it was dumb to argue about the lawn but I said the lawn is just a symptom of the greater issue which is lack of communication on both of our parts
Fathers Day and Birthday I used to go all out but I realized I wasn't getting the same energy so I stopped 1st Father Day I asked him what he wanted to do and he said spend the day together I got him and our son matching shirts, classic car pint glasses, socks with our son's face on them, a photo book of them of the photos during the year of them I had taken and I made this favorite foods all day 2nd Father's Day I asked him what he wanted to do and he was spend the day together but he had to work so when he got home from work, I had his favorite pizza, favorite pop, matching shirts with our son, pizza cutter and pizza pan because he had mentioned we didn't have one and photo album of pictures from the last year of him and our son
When I had another disappointing Mothers Day ( I had asked to have 3 hours alone and sent him a link to some earrings and I got no time alone and no earrings but he did get me beautiful flowers and chocolate covered strawberries. We went to the lunch with my family and I asked him to only pay for us and my mom and he ended up dropping like $275 on my whole family for brunch very nice but we had conversations about how he was able to do that but get me no gifts) I think his heart is the right place because he is a good guy
3rd Father's Day I got him a card, beer and a some jerky and he said he didn't feel loved because it wasn't as nice all the other Father's Days he had in the past and he doesn't know how to make sure I have a nice Mother's Day and I asked him he could use the list I gave him or just mimic what I do and customize it to fit his style. He said he would try and that led us to this Mother's Day.