Standard letter format middle school

I worked in schools for a total of 4 years and taught high school English for 1.5. By the time I started as a full classroom teacher, I knew it wasn't the right fit for me. I moved after my first year, then took a 6-month temporary assignment fulfilling a leave. At the end of my 6 months I was asked to stay on because the teacher I was covering chose not to return. I made the tough decision to leave for my own mental health, and 4 months of unemployment ensued as I actively searched for a new career.
During those 4 months I applied to 123 positions and attended 26 interviews at 17 different companies/organizations. Let me say first that I do not wish this job market on anyone. It was relentless. I have previous experience in the nonprofit sector, a master's degree from an ivy league, a restorative justice certification, and had several direct referrals from friends and colleagues, and it still took me several months of full-time searching to get an offer.
I now work as a lobbyist/coalition coordinator at a mission-driven nonprofit that fights for public education funding and reform. It's hybrid and much more my speed, and I make the same as I did teaching. I get to talk to legislators about how unsupported I was as a new teacher, and I get to connect with parents at under-resourced schools and empower them to create change.
I'm also doing 1099 work as a legal assistant and I'm signed up with a tutoring company -- and juggling 3 jobs feels extremely doable compared to teaching. People mean it when they say that we can do anything after surviving this job.
Anyway, I collected data throughout my interview process and thought it would be helpful to share some of the highlights, especially for people in English/History who aren't sure what kind of jobs to apply for.

• I applied for all sorts of positions, but the most common were in the following fields: Curriculum, Training, Nonprofit Management, Social Work, Travel, Fundraising, Higher Education. I looked for job titles like "Program Manager," "Instructional Designer," "Training and Development Manager," "Impact Manager," "Operations Coordinator," etc.
• I was most likely to get interviews in Social Work (3 interviews after 12 applications), then in Nonprofit Management (6 interviews after 28 applications), then Curriculum/Training (3 interviews after 42 applications). I also got 1 interview in Travel and 1 in Fundraising.
• Of the Nonprofit Management jobs I applied for, I was far more likely to get interviews at places that focused on education, after school programing, or youth in some way.
• I was far more likely to get nonprofit interviews than corporate or university. Based on my conversations in interviews, nonprofit leaders are far more likely to understand the breadth of skills that teachers bring to the table.
• I was DESPERATE for a hybrid job -- 75% of my applications were for hybrid or remote positions. Despite this, almost 50% of the jobs I was asked to interview for were for in-person positions.
• I was far more likely to get interviews from applying on Idealist or on the company site directly than applying through Indeed or LinkedIn. As far as I am concerned, Indeed is a complete black hole of fake job postings. Idealist is definitely the most legit of the job posting websites I used, and I was always more likely to get responses from orgs there, even if it was a rejection.
• I live in a HCOL metro area. I made $68k before leaving teaching. The average salary of the 123 jobs I applied to was $65.6k. The average salary of the 17 positions I interviewed for was $53.6k. If I applied for a job that paid under $49k, I was much more likely to get an interview... which felt insulting with my Master's degree.
• I was never invited to an interview that I didn't write a cover letter for. I was surprised because many of my corporate friends said they are completely unnecessary, but I didn't find that to be the case. I used AI to help me optimize my cover letters to the job descriptions and that seemed to help me get interviews.
• Of all of my applications (not just interviews), I was ghosted 60% of the time. 35% of the hiring managers reached out to deny me, and I withdrew my application from 5% of the jobs after interviewing and realizing it wasn't the right fit.

That was a LOT, but hopefully it is helpful to someone getting started on their journey! There is light at the end of the tunnel. I felt hopeless for so long, but I finally feel mentally healthy and cared for at my new position. If you have any questions or want to know more please AMA!

My mom asked that I help my sister with her HW. Something about her is that she enjoys getting me into trouble. I was helping her with her math HW and she would have me repeat the same thing over again with the excuse that she didn’t understand it. You mean to tell me, you are in middle school and don’t understand a simple multiplication table. I got annoyed and I ended up yelling at her. She started crying and my mom had finished her meeting and came into our room. My sister told her that I had yelled at her for no reason. I immediately went to intervene but my mom told me to be quiet and for my sister to go downstairs. My mom started by asking me why I, without reason, was so mean to my sister. I tried explaining to her that I don’t want to be mean, but that my sister provokes me. My mom immediately went to defend my sister saying that she didn’t do anything wrong. I had never even thought of yelling at my mom, never once, not even with constant humiliations I had suffered and with how much pain she had caused me, but my mom defending my sister once more without even listening to me made me mad. I yelled at her, asking why she preferred my sister over me? Why wasn't I good enough for her? I remember being at the verge of tears and my mom slapped me, I started crying. Since I could remember I never cried when my mom would discipline me no matter how hard it hurt, I never once cried, but then again they always hit my shoulder, never a slap. My mom yelled that I was a horrible sister, that I should be more respectful and more appreciative, I had a sibling, many kids wish for a sibling but don’t have one. The argument escalated from there and we were just yelling back and forth. I was surprised nobody had called the cops. We got to the point that my mom started insulting me. She had called me stupid, useless, ungrateful, fat, but the worst insults she hurled at me was that I looked like some type of escort/hooker and that I should never have kids, that I would be a horrible mother. By no means do I think I am fat, I’m not skinny but I do have a bit of a stomach. At that time I loved wearing cute crop tops, the floral ones. The only thing is that if I wore them I made sure to wear high rise pants with them to cover my belly button, so occasionally you saw about 1cm of stomach not much. I knew I wasn’t stupid or useless. I did the majority of the chores and I was in the majority honors classes at school. But being called a hooker by your own mother really hurts. Not as much as being told that I should never have kids, that really burned. After she said those insults, my tears had stopped, I was silent, and apologized to my mother for yelling, the entire time I remember feeling numb. I got grounded that day for disrespecting my mom and sister. What surprised me is that the next day my mom acted if that had not happened at all. I tried to forget the insults but I wear baggy clothing and wonder what kind of mother I would be.
AITA: What should I do?

I’m so glad this sub exists because I’ve been annoying everyone in my life with my theories about these two … I figured this would be the right place to post my speculation/lyric breakdowns of songs that they may have written about each other, split into different posts for albums for ease of reading.
Starting with Reputation (2017) – I imagine the failed relationship with Matty was still fresh for Taylor during the writing/recording of this album. Her reference to her “longings locked in lowercase inside a vault” definitely made me look back at Rep in a way I hadn’t before (and I do think we’ll see some Matty-coded vault tracks on TV”. That said I don’t want to erase her other relationships, especially with Joe, so I’ll make notes of where I think I’m either stretching for a Matty connection or I think there are multiple muses.
Special mention to “Getaway Car” which feels like another (fictionalized?) response to Robbers but the story she tells is very similar to her fling with Tom, especially given the third man in the song. I usually claim it for the maylors anyway bc who cares about Tom. Let me know what you think.
“...Ready For It?”
Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him / Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted / But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom
I can't ignore the connections here to two other songs thought to be written about M - Ghost (2014) and Haunted (2015) by Halsey (I won't bother going into the HalseyMatty lore here but I could in another post...)
"You're a Rolling Stone boy, never-sleep-alone boy / Got a million numbers and they're filling up your phone, boy" (Ghost) "I'm begging you to keep on haunting me" (Haunted) "My ghost / Where'd you go? / I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me" (Ghost)
I can be a phantom holdin' him for ransom / Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me / Stealing hearts and running off and never saying sorry / But if I'm a thief, then he can join the heist / And he can be my jailer
Robbers is one of The 1975’s most famous songs. In the music video two lovers stick up a convenience store - definitely worth a watch if you haven't seen it. In 2014 M dedicated the song to T in Dallas in November 2017 (a week after she attended the concert in LA) here and here
Burton to this Taylor
One of my favorite references that I think reveals a lot about the messy but irresistible relationship M and T seem to have. Here's a link to a great article about the wild love affair between Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.
Every love I've known in comparison is a failure / I forget their names now, I'm so very tame now / Never be the same now
This sentiment is repeated throughout many of the songs I believe are about M. The idea of a life altering love is obviously prevalent across TTPD but also in folklore, evermore, and Midnights. ex. "I'm never gonna love again" (cowboy like me), "I don't remember who I was before you painted all my nights a color I have searched for since" (Question...?), "I felt aglow like this / Never before and never since" (loml)
Also want to mention This Must Be My Dream from 2016, which M has said is about an older gf but may fit: "Let me tell you 'bout this girl / I thought she'd rearrange my world"
No one has to know / In the middle of the night, in my dreams / You should see the things we do, baby
See Guilty as Sin? lol
Baby, let the games begin
Taylor in an interview with Glamour in February 2014:
TS: [Nods. Pauses.] I think everyone should approach relationships from the perspective of playing it straight and giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Until he establishes that this is a game. And if it's a game, you need to win. The best thing to do is just walk away from the table.
CL: Is that winning?
TS: It is when they come back. [Laughs.] And if they don't, then they didn't care enough to begin with.
conclusion: I believe ...Ready For It? is a response to Robbers and reveals M and T's similar romanticism (sometimes toxic but so addicting). The mirrored stylization of ...Ready For It? and Question...? makes me think the latter is a continuation of the former. The mentions of “island breeze” and “we’ll move to an island” have made people believe this song is about Tom Hiddleston but other lyrics, namely “younger than my exes” pretty clearly contradicts that.
"End Game"
I wanna be your end game / I wanna be your first string /I wanna be your A-Team
Funny reading this after The Alchemy and So High School.
Big reputation, big reputation / Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations / And you heard about me / Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation
And they were! Especially because T hadn't been really linked to anyone after Harry, the speculation about her and M came hard and fast. M especially was inundated with questions in the months after the LA and NYC shows.
And I heard about you / You like the bad ones, too
Another possible reference to a Halsey song, this time Hurricane from 2014: "He says, "Oh, baby, beggin' you to save me / Well, lately I like 'em crazy/ Oh, maybe, you could devastate me"
I don't wanna touch you, I don't wanna be / Just another ex-love you don't wanna see / I don't wanna miss you / Like the other girls do
Very reminiscent of The 1975's song Somebody Else, released in 2016, speculated to be about T: "I don't want your body / But I hate to think about you with somebody else"
I hit you like bang, we tried to forget it, but we just couldn't
"Flashbacks waking me up / I get drunk, but it's not enough" (Death By A Thousand Cuts)
And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put 'em
"I circled you on a map / I haven't come around in so long" (The Alchemy)
Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy
"And they tried to warn you about me" (The Albatross)
And I can't let you go, your hand prints on my soul
"Marked me like a bloodstain" (Cardigan)
It's like your eyes are liquor, it's like your body is gold
So many of the songs speculated to be about M reference his eyes but the most relevant (not the starry eyed motif which we'll get to in the future) are: "Eyes like sinking ships on waters / So inviting I almost jump in" (gold rush) and "But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet / Now I'm all for you like Janet" (Snow On The Beach)
"Deep blue, but you painted me golden" (Dancing With Our Hands Tied)
You've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks / So here's the truth from my red lips
From the same Glamour article, Taylor talking about her 'trick' when dating:
CL: What's the freeze-out?
TS: You don't respond to any of his texts or calls until he does something desperate [like] shows up. Or he calls and leaves a voice mail. Something that makes it very clear to you that he's interested.
disclaimer: I am someone who thinks the Tom relationship was not that serious for T, so this song imo fits what she may have told us about her relationship with M more, though the beach reference does point to Tom in a way.
"Don't Blame Me"
I've been breaking hearts a long time / And toying with them older guys / Just playthings for me to use
See the quotes from the Glamour article above. "Younger than my exes, but he act like such a man, so" (...Ready For It?)
Something happened for the first time / In the darkest little paradise
May refer to the dark concert venue where they met for the first time (see So It Goes... for more)
For you / I would cross the line / I would waste my time / I would lose my mind / They say, "She's gone too far this time."
Sentiment that is repeated throughout TTPD, but most clearly in But Daddy I Love Him
My name is whatever you decide / And I'm just gonna call you mine
Though this could be a stretch, in the spotify storyline for The 1975's Oh Caroline (2022), speculated to be about T, M said "It's an invented character, where the cadence really mattered. It couldn't be "Oh Linda" or "Oh Jane" [or "Oh Taylor"] - you had to have a 3 syllable that really works. I knew what the song was about, I had felt that about someone before and I got to write an episodic, mini movie about the subject"
disclaimer: If about M, this song is very on the nose with the drug references. Generally it's a very vague song and could easily be about Joe or another ex.
"So It Goes..."
See you in the dark / All eyes on you, my magician / All eyes on us / You make everyone disappear
Likely refers to the first time T saw M in person, when she was front row at The 1975's LA show. All eyes were on M then (including T's)
"Once upon a time, the planets and the fates / And all the stars aligned / You and I ended up in the same room / At the same time" (Mastermind)
Tripping, tripping when you're gone
May relate to Don't Blame Me: "Trip of my life / every time you're touching me"
'Cause we breakdown a little / But when you get me alone, it's so simple
Maybe a stretch but M famously had a breakdown on stage in Boston on December 6, 2014. In an interview with the Guardian he said: “There was girl stuff. There was family stuff. There was financial stuff. There was drug stuff. I remember hearing the crowd and having an identity crisis. I thought: ‘If you want to see a show, I’ll give you a fucking show. If you’ve come to see the jester drink himself into a slumber, I’ll give it to you.’ I felt like I’d become an idea as opposed to being a person.”
“And I was 25 and afraid to go outside” (Give Yourself a Try)
And all the pieces fall / Right into place
"I laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork / The dominoes cascaded in a line" (Mastermind)
Getting caught up in a moment / Lipstick on your face
"I said, "Don't fall in love with the moment" / She said I've got a lot to learn / Don't fall in love with the moment /And think you're in love with the girl" (She's American)
Come here, dressed in black now
"Yeah, we're dressed in black from head to toe" (Chocolate). Taylor was also wearing all black the night of the LA show.
conclusion: You did a number on me / But, honestly, baby, who's counting? / I did a number on you / But, honestly, baby, who's counting? ( "King of My Heart"
We met a few weeks ago / Now you try on callin' me "baby" like tryin' on clothes
The reason why I don't necessarily think Joe fits. They met at the Met Gala in 2017 and she very quickly started seeing Tom, obviously it could still be him but I wanted to note this.
"Don't call me 'kid,' don't call me 'baby' / Look at this idiotic fool that you made me" (illicit affairs)
And you move to me like I'm a Motown beat
M loves Motown, even sampling a track by The Temptations on Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy). He's also always loved dancing, which you can see in the videos for A Change of Heart and Oh Caroline.
Salute to me I'm your American Queen / Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff
He's English, obviously.
And we rule the kingdom inside my room / With all these nights we're spending / Up on the roof with a school girl crush
Totally speculation but M and T hiding out in her NYC home makes a lot of sense from other pieces she has shared about the relationship “My kingdom come undone” (Hoax)
Late in the night, the city's asleep / Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep
Speculation again but fits with the story of M and T as mostly loving each other in secret (see Dancing With Our Hands Tied and Dress)
Is this the end of all the endings? / My broken bones are mending
As mentioned above, T had seemingly taken a break from dating after the breakup with Harry.
disclaimer: Definitely not 100% sure on this one as there is convincing evidence that it is about J
"Dancing With Our Hands Tied"
I, I loved you in secret / First sight, yeah, we love without reason / Oh, 25 years old
M and T were both born in 1989, M was 25 when they first met and dated and T was turning 25.
My, my love had been frozen / People started talking, putting us through our paces / I knew there was no one in the world who could take it / I loved you in spite of / Deep fears that the world would divide us
“A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground / With no one around to tweet it” (The Lakes)
In an interview with the Guardian Matty said: “The day after she’d been to a show of ours, someone sent me a screenshot of E! News with the headline ‘Who is Matt Healy?’ That freaked me out. I’m not ready to indulge in that world and I’m not ready to be judged by that world.” So sad to read knowing that they dealt with a similar situation nearly a decade later.
Picture of your face in an invisible locket
“Wear you like a necklace” (So It Goes…)
And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis
“Now you hang from my lips / Like the Gardens of Babylon / With your boots beneath my bed” (cowboy like me)
I'd kiss you as the lights went out / Swaying as the room burned down / I'd hold you as the water rushes in / If I could dance with you again
Reminds me so much of the music video for cardigan, where T slips into a rough ocean and hangs on to a piano. Also from cardigan: “Leaving like a father / Running like water”
“Dress”
Our secret moments in a crowded room / They got no idea about me and you
"Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room / And every single one of your friends was / Making fun of you" (Question...?)
There is an indentation in the shape of you / Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo
M seemingly makes a lasting impression: “Deep blue, but you painted me golden” (Dancing With Our Hands Tied) “The mark they saw on my collarbone” (Maroon) “Marked me like a bloodstain” (cardigan)
'Cause I don't want you like a best friend
T often seems to refer to a friendship with M, perhaps they tried it a few times: “We were supposed to be just friends” (Glitch) “Like you were my closest friend” (Maroon) “Just say when, I'd play again / He was my best friend / Down at the sandlot” (My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys)
And if I get burned, at least we were electrified
“I'd kiss you as the lights went out / Swaying as the room burned down” (Dancing With Our Hands Tied)
I'm spilling wine in the bathtub / You kiss my face and we're both drunk
Many of the possible M songs refer to M and T’s love of wine. “And I can see us twisted in bedsheets / August slipped away like a bottle of wine” (august) “The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me / And how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was (maroon)” (Maroon)
disclaimer - Obviously most likely about Joe given the reference to the 2017 Met Gala but I think it was worth a mention!
“Call It What You Want”
My baby's fly like a jet stream / High above the whole scene
Probably a double-entendre. M considers himself slightly on the outside of the ‘scene’ but this can come across as self assurance. This also could refer to literally being high on drugs
Loves me like I'm brand new
After T’s clever use of The Starting Line in TTPD I’m convinced she’s referring to the band Brand New. M posted a Brand New album on his ig story in 2020.
All my flowers grew back as thorns
An interesting contrast to “I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy” from Don’t Blame Me
Windows boarded up after the storm
“I look through the windows of this love / Even though we boarded them up” (Death By A Thousand Cuts)
I'm laughing with my lover
“Laughing with my feet in your lap” (Maroon) “Please don't ever become a stranger / Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” (New Year’s Day)
Making forts under covers
Matty famously built a fort in ATPOAIM 3. “I'll build you a fort on some planet / Where they can all understand it” (Down Bad)
Trust him like a brother
“Like I lost my twin” (Down Bad)
Starry eyes sparking up my darkest night
So many starry eyed references which is terribly romantic and terribly sad. “Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?” (High Infidelity), “Your opal eyes are all I wish to see” (ivy), “Eyes full of stars” (cowboy like me), and “Gazing at me starry-eyed” (The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived)
I want to wear his initial on a chain 'round my neck
“Picture of your face in an invisible locket” (Dancing With Our Hands Tied) “Wear you like a necklace” (So It Goes…)
I recall late November, holding my breath
Late November fits perfectly into the timeline of M and T’s 2014 relationship. Late October to Late DecembeEarly January makes the most sense.
Slowly I said, "You don't need to save me / But would you run away with me?"
“You're mad thinking you could ever save me. Not looking like that.” (A Change of Heart)
disclaimer: Again lots of Joe references in this as well so take this with a grain of salt.
“New Year’s Day”
You and me from the night before, but / Don't read the last page
From Me and You Together Song (2020): “I think the story needs more pages, yes.” The reference to “the last page” also makes this song feel like more of a reminiscence than a song about a current lover.
I want your midnights / But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day
Impossible not to reread these lyrics after Midnights was released as a nod to M: “When the morning came we / Were cleaning incense off your / Vinyl shelf ‘cause we lost track of time again” (Maroon)
You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi / I can tell that it's gonna be a long road / I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe / Or if you strike out and you're crawling home
Especially after the release of TTPD it seems that both T and M made many promises to each other that they couldn’t keep
Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you / Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you / Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you / And I will hold on to you
The reference to memories here creates a bit of a confusing feeling about the muse for this song. Although T seems to be talking in the present tense I do think these are memories and dreams for a past relationship.
“Hold on and hope that we'll find our way back in the end / Do you think I have forgotten? / Do you think I have forgotten? / Do you think I have forgotten / About you?” (About You)
Please don't ever become a stranger / Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere / Please don't ever become a stranger / Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
Not much to say about this but ow!
You and me forevermore
Again reminds me of Me and You Together Song (which I do buy as a song at least partially about T). And of course links to Evermore.
disclaimer: This could absolutely be about Joe but it does feel almost like a goodbye to M, closing the album. It’s as if she is reading “the last page”
Congrats if you read this lol. I clearly have too much time on my hands

Ok so there’s this fanfic I read in middle school and I’ve looked up and down trying to find it. So I’m not sure if anyone on here has read it and remembered the title. Essentially Zayn is a dark king in olden times, he kidnaps this girl and forces her to live in his palace. For some reason Harry Styles is his second hand and harry also falls in love with the main character. I know it’s a very loose description but it’s what I remember vaguely. If this sounds familiar lmk!

Hello! I'm a Canadian pre-med just starting to look at USMD. I'm still a while out from applying but I have a few questions, particularly about extracurriculars. I'm trying to figure out what my application strengths will be based on number of hours.
I've heard that it's generally recommended not to include activities from high school/earlier unless they continued into university. If I've been volunteering with the same organization for years, and continued that into university, how would I list the hours? Can I include hours from when I first started in middle school? Does this show commitment to the organization or does it look weird to include hours from that long ago?
For hobbies, how do I go about listing my hours? Specifically, I'm a musician and looking to include it on my application as a hobby because it's been a big part of my life since I was a young child and is something unique aside from my traditional pre-med experiences. Would I estimate the hours that I've spent practicing/performing? How far back should I count these hours?
If anyone has any other advice for applying to USMD as a Canadian I would love to hear it! I still have about 2-3 years where I can work on my application before my first cycle.
Thank you :)

So I, F24, made the decision at Thanksgiving to go no-contact with my Father, and both sides of my family, maternal and paternal, have been guilt-tripping me non-stop for this decision for months. However, none of them know or understand the circumstances leading up to this decision. (This is long one, but context is important to understand why I no longer with to associate with him)
First, we have to go back to when I was a kid. During my childhood my dad was just a dude who lived in our house and ate all our snacks. He barely interacted with us, save for taking me to the occasional Harry Potter or Marvel movie. He missed my softball games, my volleyball games, my basketball games, my school events such as choir recitals, plays, etc. not because of work (which I would understand) but to instead play Warhammer and paint little figurines for the game. He was also emotionally volatile and abusive. On several occasions he slapped me across the face and numerous times called me "as dumb as a monkey" and even one time called me an "ogre."
Shit ultimately hit the metaphorical fan when I was 16, and I discovered (on my 16th birthday, yeah, literally on the day I turned 16) that my mother was cheating on my father. From there, family life spiraled. At the time, I was very angry with my mother, and while I still disagree with how she handled the situation, she was very much a "married-single-mother." She took care of all the household chores, mowed and watered the lawn, walked and fed the dogs, cooked dinner, coached my softball games, attended me and my brother's events, all on top of being a full-time high-school teacher. I can't blame her for trying to seek emotional connection with someone else when none of her emotional needs were being met by her husband.
Now, after my mother's cheating was revealed, my father went off the rails. Especially when he began to notice I quickly reconciled with my mom, and for obvious reasons, chose to live with her. As she was quite literally, the only parent I had. I still had a relationship with my father, but it become tense. It all boiled over a few months later when on Easter, my brother and I came back from my mom's newly minted apartment a few minutes away, to an empty home with pills all over the counter and floor (I'll let you fill in the blanks of what he did). After I called my mom, she called the nearest hospital and found out my father had been taken there to be treated.
This left me scarred emotionally for months, as a few weeks before when I was staying at my father's house alone, he woke 16-year-old me up in the middle of the night and told me to take all his pills away. I'd told no one about it, and kept it to myself out of pure fear and being a child put in a situation beyond her years. After the event, my father refused to speak about it, refused to acknowledge what his actions had done to me and my brother, and as a result, I emotionally disconnected from him completely.
He sensed this disconnection, and instead of trying to apologize or take responsibility, he attacked the relationship with my mother. He did many things like texting me to tell on her, but the most egregious thing he did was show my naked photos of my own mother - including a photo of her vagina - while telling me she was a dirty whore for sending photos to men. From that point, I refused to go over to his house and stay there alone with him. I never told anyone about what he did (at least not for a few years, until I finally told my mother what he'd done when I was 23). We maintained contact, but from that point on the relationship was tanked in my mind. I was only nice and only attended holidays to maintain appearances, and in hindsight, out of fear of his retaliation.
Well, finally, after moving back home from college (to which even failed to congratulate me) I decided I had enough of the niceties and the pageantries, and no longer wanted to deal with him. Ever since I told him I no longer wanted to speak with him or have contact, he's been speaking to almost every member of our family with a sob story, including my maternal grandmother. With each family member he speaks too, all of them call me or text me telling me to "Give him a chance" or to "be fair to him." Each time I tell them I've made my decision, I've been told I'm being an asshole for holding the past over his head. So here we are.
I guess I just wanted to vent and get this off my chest. If you took the time to read, thank you, I really appreciate it :)

I am a rising freshman who was admitted as a political science + statistics major but is trying to switch it. I really do like poli sci and everything I wrote about in my essay was true but after careful reflection I concluded that I don't like it enough to pursue the major as an international. I also wanted to go to law school. It used to be my only dream but I just want to have it as one of my options and take time in college to make sure I really want that career path. I like social studies, is strongest in math, and hates science(physics, bio, chem).

• First major
  • Economics
    • Pros: I feel like it's a fundamental of everything.
    • Cons: I know nothing about economics and I found it so difficult to understand when I learned the very basics of it in middle school.
  • Finance, Investment, and Banking
    • Pros: Will it to better at getting me into IB/Consulting? I know it's a very difficult field to get into unless I go to a target school but still, lol & sounds kinda cool
    • Cons: This major falls under the business school at my university so I will have to internally transfer. I don't know how hard it is to transfer into the business school and I don't think I'm passionate enough to do all the extra work.
• Second major
  • Statistics
    • Pros: I liked it when I took AP Statistics. I'm good at Math. Might give me quant roles at banking lol.
    • Cons: I heard somewhere that you can't really get a job unless you go to grad school
  • Computer Science
    • Pros: more job opportunities compared to any other majors. Will help me for anything tbh
    • Cons: It was so hard when I took the AP CSA exam. I did finish all the problems but I have no clue what my score's going to look like. Will I be a competitive student when there are others who are fully committed to comp sci? It's a hard major. I might have minored in it on top of two majors if social life were not a thing.

Quick context I'm breastfeeding, I'm currently sick with mastitis. We have 4 kids 12, 8, 3 and 6m. Yes we're done having kids. I have baby fever with a 6m old. Husband works all day on concrete with bad knees. As in they need to be replaced. I'm currently trying to throw a birthday party for my older kids on the cheap because their birthdays are in the middle of winter and house is small. Pizza parties are about $100-$150ea and at home $75 for both kids. I have tried talking to him about doing something during their birth months but we were tight. The following is our conversation.
Wife, This party is very important to the kids.
I'm going to need your help. I'm so exhausted from being sick and trying to get son to help is like fighting a monkey for the last banana. I need help cleaning
Husband, This is more important to than the kids hun stop lying to yourself and others. This is more for you than the kids. I was 100% not for it. I help but, for fuck sake I'm not f******g happy about it.
Wife, I'm doing it for them! Why would it be for me? Parents drop off and pretty much run. Nvm forget I asked.
Husband, Wife no one does this
Wife, Does what? Throw a birthday party for their kids because they love them and can't afford a d*** pizza party on the month of their birthdays.
Husband, I never had giant extravagant birthdays. I had family that was it. This concept of kids missing out on things, I don't understand what they are missing out on. They have so much more than I did at their age. NO ITS NOT THEIR D*** BIRTHDAY! It's no one's birthday. We could have done something on there birthday. Never had a problem when we had 2 extra kids over.
Wife, It's not extravagant. Food, cake. pretty much it and play outside. Fine you invite six children exactly like son (very adhd) and try to throw that inside the house no. I just need help cleaning stuff.That should already be done but nobody cares. On the maid of a f****** house.If i'm not doing it nobody else is. I should never even laid in bed on mother's day. I expected too much of everybody. I'm done asking for help drop it. Okay try that with her two friends plus six more. Too much too many people. Literally hamburgers hot dogs and a cake couple of hours. Going all out would've been 100%.Decorations would have been ice cream on top of that would have been me renting a bounce house or something, no. I'm not going all out. I guess what things cleaned up and I can't do anything.I'm sick. I can't get this house cleaned because i'm sick. Now I feel like the bad person for just wanting to clean house. What's the point of having a house and nobody will keep it cleanish. What's the point of cooking dinner? Nobody's gonna eat it.I don't bother coming over pissed off go to tyler'sI'm done. I won't ask you for anything anymore
Husband, Fine wife I will here and work there. I will work till you are happy. You want another kid? Sure let's do it. I'll get a second job to support them all I will not see you ever because I will be sleeping in car after I clean the house.
Wife, I already said don't bother. I'm done asking you for help.
Husband, Wife you make shit more harder on your self than you think then blame it on me or kids. You have more time sitting and laying down than anyone else in that house. Yes you feel like s, WE all feel like s even at work everyone is f**g miserable from allergies and heat. I will help you get s done at home, bit don't think for second that you are god damn Cinderella and I'm the evil step mother. If that's how you want it you get a job and I will be the maid at home. You always make me feel guilty about leaving you everyday to work while you get to stay home. Then say that I make you feel guilty for not doing enough around the house.
Wife, I don't sit on my ass all day long. Breastfeeding, waiting till kids go off to school while I drink my coffee and sometimes trying to get toddler to take his naps. Also, my mind will never function like yours. It's 10x harder for me to do these never-ending chores daily. But yet nobody will lift a finger to help me when I'm sick. You know damn well I'd go to work at the mill if they would allow it. I'd bag all day if I had to. If I do get a job it would only to pay for child care, medical, and food. That's if I'm lucky to make enough to cover all that. Yes I want you home all the time but that isn't going to happen I'm sorry for making you feel guilty for having to go to work. I just don't want to end up like mom and I don't want the house to look like a hoarder lives here. Yes mess is to be expected. I'm not asking for much but everyone makes seem like I am. Everyone lives here not just me.
Husband, I didn't say you do all day. I said out of everyone in the house you do the most.
Wife, Not that I want to either
Husband, Also, I help you quite alot when you sick and in general. But I guys it's just small potatoes to you.
Wife, What I see so you know and inform me what I miss.
Mom's asleep leave her alone
Mom not feeling good just change their diaper
Here's some water
Rub my feet or legs occasionally (thank you)
Made me cup of coffee
Take the trash out on trash day
Changing kids diapers
What am I missing?
Husband, Wow ok nevermind I'm human garbage. Besides working to pay off everything and buying you and the kids s***, paying bills. I don't do anything.
Wife, I'm not talking work. I'm talking when I'm down and can't do things
Husband, Well you don't communicate worth a s*** for to know what you want or what needs to be done. Just what ever wife.
Wife, You see the mess Dirty counters Sink full of dishes Laundry piling up Dog hair all over the floors Dirty bathrooms It's right there. This it's your home too. Thought you would want it kept to a certain level of clean. Guess we don't think alike on what needs to stay clean or what can be somewhat messy.
Husband, For years I was the only one who did that in a house of 4 adults and I never got help. Praised for cleaning so well that your dad would get sick from eating off them. I was the only one who would clean and now that it's been 15 years roughly I'm the complete ass. I'm the only one who brings home an income. I buy you pretty much anything you want or need. There is sooo much more I can say wife. This is not 50/50 like you want it to be this is 80/20 you don't have much do to at home. YOU SIT AND LET IT PILE UP TILL ITS A PROBLEM. I will be home later and I will do everything. If life is so bad what would you do if I was gone tomorrow? You don't put 8 hrs a day into anything and you spout out that it's not fair that I don't do more. You can give me all the excuses you want, I'm adhd, I can't focus, I need to start as a routine or I can't do it. You did just fine when my mom would yell at you and now she's gone it's my fault pretty much all the time. I'm ending this conversation here. Do not text me for the rest of the day. I will be home at 4:50 after getting dog food and I will stay up till the whole damn house is done to your standards.
Wife, Don't bother I said.
You yell at me for not asking for help and now when I do all I get is f*****g attitude. Just go sleep at friend or something.
AITA?

My middle-aged mom reposts inspirational videos on her Instagram. She does it all the time because she wants to earn some money from this thing. Now, we're doing fine financially from her day-job. She has a staple income source form that job and we have a nice roof above our head.
However, she always wants more money; it's apparent with her being obsessed with winning the lottery and her trying to force me one time to find two dollar bills with a specific set of number to earn 6 figures selling them. We have a 0.001% chance of actually finding those specific dollar bills. Now, she wants to earn money from reels.
Her reels are not that great. She mainly just adds dumb gifs on top of the videos and types text filled with spelling mistakes (she's an immigrant parent). Those text boxes can even cover people's faces because to her, "Their faces don't matter." What kind of video reposter does that?
She's only been doing this for a few months and has like 620 followers. I could potentially help with this. I am a pretty good editor, and I could probably spend some time learning how to do reels for her.
The problem is, I have a lot of other stuff I need to do. For instance, I'm going to spend my summer vacation (I'm a high school student) learning Spanish. I'm Latino and my mom has been trying to get me to learn it for years. For various reasons, I don't learn it when I was younger and never made the best effort to learn it later on. She's implied her frustration with me not learning sooner. Now, I have nearly an entire summer to learn it. With a lot of time and focus, I know I can learn a lot of Spanish.
In addition, I want to spend my non-Spanish time watching various anime shows and playing various video games. Up until recently, I avoided a lot of popular media because I saw it as pointless. Up until a few months ago, l was mainly focused on just "learning, learning, learning." I also hated playing video games and saw anime as kind of weird. I finally broke free and learned to just relax and not be obsessed with learning like Mark from Peep Show.
This summer is my chance to consume this media because I've been swamped in schoolwork. I have a lot of interest in this media: I feel like mvself when I have the brief chance to consume it. Consuming this media also allows for me to connect with more people. In high school, I've made friends with various people, but I know that those relationships could be strengthen if I consumed more of their favorite media, stuff I'm actually really interested in checking out.
I don't want to spend lots of time in my day making several reels for my mom to make pennies on Instagram. I sound selfish, but ! want to just focus on me. We're ok financially. This is not an emergency. What do I do in this case? I'm thinking of just teaching my mom some CapCut editing tricks and how to screen record to make slightly better reels to solve this, but if I have this ability to edit why not use it? I'm at a crossroads. Thanks

Hi, there is this girl that I really like. We have gone in the same class for a few years. And this post might be kinda different, I want to talk about me, how i like her, our relationship and then come to the question on how to approach her.
So anyways, I go to high school and I have gone in her class since first grade of middle school. I used to be really weird, kinda mean and easily offended at the same time. Over time I have changed and now I feel like I am a actually good person. I am much more confident, I am kinder, I have learnt to see things from others perspective and I try to be as good of a person as I can. I am not a social butterfly, I can’t go up to someone that I barely talk to and just start an amazing conversation. I often need to find a good moment or if they start it.
Now to her. She is pretty, gorgeous or absolutely stunning. Not any of that “hot” shit, that’s just sexual. She looks amazing. I can sometimes glance at her and it’s like I’m in paradise. Sometimes I listen to her conversations and think that she is kinda like me. She is smart, kinda silly and just seems like a good person. I know how she is and I feel like we can be actually compatible, sometimes we both exchange looks and we both look away. I do not know if it is just that she was bored of doing school work and just looked at something that happened to me or if she feels the same about me that I feel about her and is also to nervous to start a conversation. I hope that it is like that, But sometimes she does actually look at me, she sometimes listen to my conversations i think. Or she just zones out and happened to watch me.
We talk maybe a few times a week, so nothing great. She gets a little nervous when we do but that is just how she is, shy and nervous🙂I am kinda scared of approaching her because if we have barely talked at all and I have misunderstood the small things I take as clues then I can embarrass myself. My class is quite small, like 25 people and everyone kinda knows eachother. So if she tells her friend that tells that friend that tells this friend then there can be rumours that I like her which just messes it all up.
Maybe I am just overthinking it all, it isn’t too rare that I do.
So what should I do? I hope that someone has felt this once and solved it and can come with some solution.
And please don’t come with the, be a man and talk to her, rizz her up or anything in that style. I want a relationship not some oh he hot so we together. I want a actually stable relationship that can go in for months, years or hopefully a whole lifetime.

Hoi, it is really out of my character to post anything on Reddit but it is a subject that has been weighing heavily on me all day. It's something, I've encountered regularly. I'm really an easy-going person and shrug any inconveniences off, but I finally want to know if it is something that is just playing in my mind or if it is something that has substance.
For reference, I was born here, I was raised here, I went to school here all my life. I speak perfect Swiss and High German and French. But I am and look Asian. I'm not talking about looking or verbal insults when I was a child, I'm talking about the plain assumption I'm faced in social (almost only professional) settings that I couldn't possibly speak Swiss German. I'm in health care, often enough patients talk to me back in "broken" High German as though they're talking to an illiterate foreigner, even though I am literally talking to them in Swiss German, it is annoying but it isn't my motivation for this post. The reason behind this, are some superiors. And I truly don't understand why they are behaving that way unless they are prejudiced.
Why would someone (who knew in which capacity I was there for, because they went through the same path, and 100% knew that I practically needed to be born here or went to school here for a very long time to be standing there) seriously ask me if I spoke and understood Swiss German, when beforehand I literally talked loudly to a friend in Swiss German and they were clearly listening? Why would a phone call from stranger (dean's office) who knew what I looked like and with whom I conversed in Swiss German beforehand and who then started to mumble into a bad telephone connection almost scream in that horrible sounding "broken" High German because I told them I didn't understand them? Why did I have to tell them that I didn't hear them "akustisch" that they restarted talking to me in Swiss German? Why at a job interview, where I send a pretty good letter of application and my whole CV which schools I went to, the first question they ask me, is if I understood Swiss German?
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
It's not an enemy action, that's an exaggeration, but it is a pattern and one thing I've never dared to do, is to plainly ask them why they assumed I couldn't speak Swiss German even though my background (which they knew about) clearly states something else.
I don't want to make an Elephant out of a Mücke. But I want to know and want to restore some peace in my mind. Is it just all in my head? Or were these people really subconsciously racist? If anyone else reads this and also has the prejudice (if that is true) that they expect an Asian not to speak Swiss German, I would really appreciate if you could give me some insights.
This is not a post to accuse anyone. It is to be in the clear, for myself.

What are you all writing about in the unique experience essay? I know it's optional but I feel like I should at least put something down... My issue is this: I don't feel unique at all. I'm a white dude from a suburban middle-class family who has ADHD and is graduating in 4 years. About as basic as you can get.
Only thing I can think of is that I'm a member of a religious minority? I lived in another country for 2 years after high school serving a mission for my church, which I suppose is unique. IDK I'm just struggling to come up with stuff here, so any help would be appreciated!!!

Me and my boyfriend have been together since april 1st of this year, this problem is very recent and is still going on; I wanna find out how to stop it before it goes too far. __________________________
Me and my boyfriend have been noticing how people stare at us or laugh while around us, we never really thought about it much until one of my partners shop peer's brought it up that rumors about us are going around about us. Even one of my sisters brought it up to me when I asked and she said that "They have been watching you both since you got together." If I'm being bluntly honest, I want this to be done and end by my own hands and not a teacher's or staff, etc. I knew around last month that students were trying to make my sister hate me, Thankfully it was unsuccessful but it was painstaking and really showed me how heartless students can be just to start drama; they all crave drama and I was now one of the victims. It makes me and my boyfriend very uneasy that we can't hide from the eyes of the students in our school, both of us are very on edge of what can be done to stop all of this. The worst part is that my cousins are known to tell my family all the rumors that go on in that school, and Me and my partner are the main course of those rumors. It's gotten so out of hand that my partners discord messages are being aired out. Mind you, My boyfriend is a very nice person and hasn't did anything in middle school and there is rumors that are coming back from middle school. Some people don't know what the hell character development is. I was in math class and saw someone on their iPad and saw a screenshot of my boyfriend's profile on discord, I told my boyfriend immediately who it was and what it was on. I've gotten so caught up in this that, I am starting to take tabs on people who are passing the rumors around. We are both afraid that this will affect our life outside of school, just so people can get a good laugh at us. I've been trying everything I could think of, Ignoring the rumors in hopes that they would go away but I knew they wouldn't because they keep stalking us. My boyfriend has been assaulted by a shop student that told him the rumors, we tried our best to explain the big problem we are both in to him. The rumors are very over exaggerated, they'd say that we were doing inappropriate things in the library and making out in the middle of the hall; we were nowhere close to making out or even doing such a thing in school?
Many times that I had spoke with someone I knew before this, they told me about the said rumors going around. I told them all that it wasn't true at all and its for the most part fabricated, framed even; compared. Knowing most people this generation, most have mental issues and well the people I surround my people also have mental issues; this concludes I also have mental issues but that's not the point. There was one day of the week that these rumors got to me and I had a breakdown. I really want the rumors to end ; How could I get better if this is happening. So focused on these stressors that I might not be able to finish high school.

I despise school. Im in my final year of middle school, and I don't know if I'll be able to keep myself from going insane in the next four years. I feel like I get a boatload of pointless work that stresses me out even though I'm not learning anything. I dont have bad grades, but I just want to know any tips to help me survive high school. I understand that school is important, but the curriculum is so boring and I need ways to make it interesting, or just make classes better. I feel like I can't change anything. I understand that kids are supposed to be under the authority of adults, but I can tell that the work I get isn't helping me do anything useful. I get to pick only one or two odd my classes I don't decide what I want to do. I feel helpless and need ways to get through the rest of my education.

… most people who got into med school have 3.6-4.99 GPA, 515+ MCAT, cured cancer through their research, 100000000000000hrs of clinical hrs, and letter of recs from God himself?
I’m seriously cooked.

T/w: suicide
I feel like my marriage is in crisis and my husband does not want to do counseling because he doesn’t want a third party involved in our marriage.
Married 10 years with 2 school aged children. 2 months ago my husband came home with a long letter saying that I made him want to kill himself. It was a long list of complaints about me, some that I never heard before, some that I knew about, like that I am boring in bed, he doesn’t like the neighborhood we live in, he doesnt like how I plan too many vacations or things with the kids, I stress him out, that I was too sad over a miscarriage 2 years ago, he hates our cat, our kids are spoiled, things like that. He looked like he was very very very tired and like he had been out drinking all night or something but he had just gone to work and then the gym. He didn’t smell like alcohol but he just looked rough. He had never ever done anything like this before and things that week at home were totally normal. He has been blowing up more and angrier but otherwise things have been like they always have been.
I am a nurse and before we were married up to 3 years ago used to work in a psych hospital. My husband (Jake) always used to accuse me of having a thing for one of the doctors there (Brian). Brian and I would text outside of work, usually things like memes about our job. It was never in the slightest romantic and he talks to everyone he works with. He is very extroverted and kind of gossipy. Brian since married and had a baby and Jake and I know his wife and kid. I have told Jake many times there was nothing to worry about and got a new job in a clinic where I didn’t see Brian any more. After that we would send Christmas cards and things and sometimes Brian would text me things going on at the hospital like when another nurse’s spouse died . Again, nothing romantic. I know i probably should have stopped replying to him because it made Jake uncomfortable but I didn’t because I considered Brian a friend and thought Brian was harmless.
Well, this is where I f*** up. First I really should have stopped talking to Brian. But, when I got this letter from Jake and he came home in distress I didn’t know what to do and called Brian because he is the only psych I know and I thought he could tell me what I need to do. Brian then told me it was a very dangerous situation and he called the authorities and they put Jake in a hold. I will mention one thing is Brian knows Jake is really into guns and has a large gun collection so that may have been why he thought it was so dangerous.
They let Jake out 72 hours later with some new meds and now he is furious with me. He has been saying that Brian and I were “setting him up” and having an affair. I have begged and pleaded to get him to understand I called him because I thought he would help but he does not believe me. He has also accused me of talking to divorce lawyers since October 2022. I don’t know where he got that date because it is so specific and I have never contacted any divorce lawyer.
I completely cut off Brian and blocked him on social media and text and told him I was not happy with him for calling 911 and that is not why I called. Some other old coworkers have reached out to try to talk to me about it and I blocked them too.
My in laws are now telling Jake to leave me because I got him locked up and am a cheater. But Jake has told them he’s not leaving me.
I’m not sure what to do. I have tried to give Jake access to my computer so he can see there’s no divorce lawyers in my email and phone so he can see all of my texts with Brian. I have told Jake I want to work with a counselor on all of the things he is upset about especially being bad in bed and I started seeing a sex therapist and pelvic floor specialist. But Jake does not want to do counseling with me because he doesn’t want anyone else involved. And he is 100% convinced that I was cheating and talking to divorce lawyers. Every time we talk about it he says that the hold was all my fault and that I am a cheater and betrayed him.
I really love him and I know I made a huge mistake in how I handled that situation. Everything was going so well up until this night and we have two great kids. And, he has not had any incidents like this since, he is just very mad about everything that happened. Is there anything I can do to get him to believe me that I was just trying to help him and didn’t mean to get him locked up? Is there any coming back from this?

Rant incoming!
This morning hubby woke up and said he smelt a rotten eggs smell from the living room/kitchen area, I've got a stuffy nose so can't smell anything. Now we live in an early 70s home so a gas leak was a possibility but we also have an aquatic turtle and a toddler so dirty tank and cheese under the sofa were also possibilities.
Hubby takes the kid to school and says he'll clean the tank when he gets home but if I (while WFH) start feeling weird to let him know. So far so good, tank is cleaned and by that point it's time to pick up the kid from school. He comes back home and it still smells and mother-in-law confirms she smells it too. So while he starts on cleaning, looking for possible sources, I say he should call the gas company or fire department to see if they can send someone to take a look just in case. This was a huge mistake.
I remember as a kid my family calling the fire department for the same thing. They came took some readings and declared all clear. My mom and I then spent the rest of the weekend deep cleaning everything. No fuss but not this time.
Gas company says they can't come check for that, we'd need to call a plumber but that they can check our meter. We say fine it's probably a liability issue or something we'll be ok but sure they can come check the meter just in case. Meanwhile, I start looking for plumbers and some sensors because we live outside the city and it can take plumbers up to a week to make it out here. Well gas guy comes and SHUTS OFF AND LOCKS OUR GAS! No warning! Guy comes in and tells us the meter is fine and if we want gas back we need to get that plumber. Call the gas company and they say it's standard procedure and they specifically don't tell you ahead of time because most people wouldn't agree if they did, no fucking shit Sherlock!
We get a hold of a plumber who says they could maybe make it out today but probably tomorrow and it'll be $400 just to do the check. $400 just to check this has got to be a scam! So yeah no stove or hot water until probably tomorrow and $400 out of pocket just because I thought to be cautious.

My daughter is about to finish 5th grade and promote to middle school. The middle school has a girl’s basketball team and my daughter has said she wants to play. I would normally fully support this but in this instance I feel I must make a stand.
Three years ago my daughter told my wife and I she wanted to play basketball. My wife and I are both very tall (wife is 6’2” I’m a half inch taller than her)so our daughter is in the 99% percentile for height(daughter is 5’4” age 11). Wife and I were both in favor of it, so we found a league for young girls and signed her up. They had practice once a week and games on Saturday mornings. It lasted about a month and a half, maybe 6 weeks in total.
As soon as we signed her up, I installed a nice goal in our driveway. It’s a nice concrete court and the goal is adjustable in height (the first year she played they used 8ft goals). However, for the past 3 years the only person who has ever used the goal is me. My daughter shot on it for a few minutes the day I installed it, and hasn’t attempted to use it since.
So for the past 3 years we have been hauling her to practice once a week for 6 weeks and games on Saturday mornings for those weeks. She never practices at all outside of that, despite me trying to initiate practices with her on several occasions.
Now that she has grown out of that league she wants to play for the school team. And herein lies the rub. The school season is several months long, multiple practices per week and about 30 games. This is no longer a minor time sink, this is an investment.
I told my wife I wasn’t interested in signing her up for what will end up being a massive time investment for the wife and I when she has shown no real interest in actually playing the sport. I work for myself so it’s not an issue for me to take time to get her to practice or to attend her games, for me this has become a thing of principle.
My wife is backing me on this decision in front of my daughter(we have made it our mission to be a unified force in front of our children) but I know she disagrees with me on this. She is completely selfless when it comes to our children and would have no problem taking her to the practices or the games, and told me I was exempt. But I don’t want to be exempt. I want my daughter to learn a valuable life lesson.
I told my wife that this is a teaching moment. Our daughter is not a baby anymore, and just because you want something doesn’t mean you get it. She says she wants to play basketball, but isn’t willing to practice at all. She lives in a world where her wanting it is enough, and I think it’s time she learned that things don’t happen by magic.
Wife has agreed to back me on this, but I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m being an asshole, especially after I didn’t change my stance after she offered to take full responsibility for it. Am I the asshole?

Im a guy and i just turned 23. And in my time being a 22 year old i have fucked up catastrophically multiple times. It has caused me depression/anxiety issues which I am currently battling right now.
Before i made these bad decisions (which ill get to), i was super charismatic, super funny, and good looking too. A lot of people enjoyed my company and i was really good at making connections.
A year ago, i had a friend group, and i was the new person in it. A couple in that friend group broke up, and then i went and made out with her for like an hour in front of everybody in a club. I also told her that i wasnt friends with her ex, which he obviously was hurt by. The couple ended up getting back together the next day.
As a result, i was kicked out of that friend group. This resulted in months of pain and distress.
Then around 6 months ago, i asked out another girl. This girl was somebody i had met through an old friend, and she dated his brother for 6.5 years, who i also knew from middle school but havent seen in 10 years. I ask my old friend if shes single and he tells me to shoot my shot. Well, i date her for about a month and a half, and we sleep together multiple times.
Now, i am not really friends with her anymore, my relationship with my old friend is more distant, and i fear ive destroyed the relationship with his brother. This sucks because i know his whole family and do want to see them again. I don't know how this is going to affect my relationships with them.
Now im at a point where i am just super critical of my character. I almost feel sick at times when i think about sleeping with that girl. I have a really weird anxiety that comes over me at times. I also barely even feel like pursuing women at this point. I do think i am slowly healing and recovering from this.
I just want to be the person i used to be before these bad decisions.
Lesson: DON’T DATE IN YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE, especially someone’s ex
If anybody has any advice or words of wisdom, please let me know. I am now in the rebuilding phase of my life.