I may have missed some more recent (late 2023-24) declarations, so let me know if I should add anything I've missed.
Stugotz personal record book. Sorry if the links are expired on some things. They're old.
[Time Stamps] Started to use them in late 2019. They may not be exact based on what podcast app or service you use. But they'll be close.
I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS:

FOOTBALL

(1) UCF is the 2017-2018 national champion.
(2) If Kirk Cousins goes to the Jaguars and not the Jets, no championship he wins will count in the personal record book.
Note (2)(a): Still pending sort of since Kirk is with the Vikings now – possible in future he could go to Jags.
(3) Eli manning has 1 ring. He doesnt get one for throwing a ball into David Tyree's face / Tyree getting a football stuck in his helmet.
(4) Carson Wentz has a Super Bowl 52 ring.
Note (4)(a): Foles does not have a Super Bowl 52 ring.
(5) The Raiders defeated the Patriots in their divisional playoff matchup in 2002 (Tuck Rule game), and then would defeat the Rams in Super Bowl 36.
Note (5)(a): In this scenario also, Bill Belichick was also "fired and looking for a job" after the Tuck Rule game and has 0 rings.
(6) If the 2017 Patriots won Super Bowl 52, James Harrison would not have a ring (Patriots lost to Eagles).
(7) Peyton Manning has one ring (Broncos ring does not count).
(8) Peyton Manning must give such ring he lost (above) to Von Miller, who thus has 2 rings.
(9) Aaron Rodgers can have all the rings he wants for keeping all of central Wisconsin employed.
(10) Brian Billick has 0 rings (2000 Ravens Super Bowl) because that defense carried him.
(11) Tony Boselli is a Hall of Famer.
(12) Tarik Cohen is an honorary Jew.
(13) JuJu Smith-Schuster is also an honorary Jew. L'Chaim.
(14) Drew brees has three rings for winning the super bowl for the city of New Orleans.
Note (14)(a): There was discussion on this where the number started at three, went up to five, came down to two, but it ended up at three.
(15) Mike McCarthy has no Super Bowl rings.
Note(15)(a): Dan also has this in his record book, and it is the first entry into the Le Batard Personal Record Book.
Note 15(b): In fact, McCarthy has -3 (Negative three) rings.
(16) Any Super Bowl rings Antonio Brown gets with the Patriots will not count in the Stugotz personal record book (9/9 Weekend Observations National Hour 2).
(17) Ohio State's 76 to 5 victory over Miami (Ohio) on 9/21/19 does not count.
(18) Due to Bill Belichick's 219 wins with Tom Brady, Bill's week 7 2023 victory over the Bills was actually his 81st victory and not his 300th victory.
(19) The 2002-03 Miami Hurricanes actually won the Fiesta Bowl/BCS National Championship game against Ohio State.
(20) If JJ Watt joins the Texans for the 2024 season or later on, none of the Super Bowl rings will count in Stugotz's personal record book

BASKETBALL

Kevin Durant
(1) If Westbrook wins a championship and beats Kevin Durant along the way in the playoffs, Westbrook will have won 2 championship rings.
(2) "STRAP IT ON BOYS, GONNA TAKE YA FOR A RIDE:"
Kevin Durant has 0 rings (Zero rings)
Kevin Durant has -1 rings (Negative 1 rings).
Kevin Durant has -4 rings (Negative 4) (As of 4/11/18)
Note (2)(a): This number is subject to change based on Stugotz altering rings to the "-4" current total. Specifically as seen recently when Stugotz adjusted the number from (i) 0 rings to (ii) -1 rings to (iii) -4 rings.
Note (2)(b): Here is a tweet transcript of the conversation where this was discovered.
Archive link
(3) If Kevin Durant wins an NBA title for the NY Knicks, he will gain 11 rings.
Note (3)(a): As seen above in "(2)," Kevin Durant has -4 rings.
Note (3)(b): [Math] If Durant were to remain at -4 rings, and subsequently win an NBA title for the Knicks, he will have 7 rings total. This was specifically stated (-4 + 11 = 7), and a question about a non-specifically stated Personal Record Book entry is posed below in "Note (3)(c)(i)."
Note (3)(c): If the Golden State Warriors had won a championship playing 3 on 5 with Kevin Durant, Kevin Durant would have 1 ring.
Note (3)(c)(i): [Confusion] I am unsure if "Note(3)(c)" means he would gain +1 ring, and therefore be "up" to -3 rings total. Possibly, Stugotz means if the Golden State Warriors had won a championship 3 on 5 with Durant, Kevin Durant would be at +1 rings total (Positive 1 rings).
(4) Kevin Durant's dagger in Game 3 did not count, because according to Stugotz, none of Durant's stats count. KD's official statline last night was 0/0/0 and the Cavs blew the Warriors out by 40.
(5) Anything Kevin Durant has done with the Warriors so far is not in Stugotz' personal record scroll.
Note (5)(a): Stugotz did not take his feathered pen and write anything in his scroll (King Roy approves).
(6) Westbrook has ALL of KD's rings.
(7) For every time KD says he doesn't give a BLEEP, Stugotz adds 2 "I do give a BLEEPS" in the personal record book.
(8) Per Dan, speaking on Stugotz' behalf, Kevin Durant has no Olympic Gold Medals (9/18/19 National Hour 1 @ 00:07:50).
Michael Jordan
(1) Jordan has 9 rings because:
(a) The Rockets have to give their 2 rings from 1994 and 1995 to Jordan (+2); and
(b) The Bulls would have won the 1999 Finals over the Spurs if Jordan didn't retire (+1; 9 total).
Note (1)(a-b)(i): Put LeBron's rings in a box and put Jordan's rings in a box. Jordan is +6 by the way over LeBron box-minus, despite box-minus sounding like a dumb stat.
(2) Michael Jordan was suspended for 2 years for gambling (Said 4/25/18 Hour 2, 14:30 in podcast).
Note 2(a): HOWEVER, MJ still has 9 rings as see above in (1)(a) and (1)(b).
(3) Any game Michael Jordan played wearing the uniform #45 does not count.
LeBron James
(1) If LeBron James goes to the Golden State Warriors, every Championship he wins will result in a deduction of 2 previously won championships.
(2) The Miami Heat LeBron teams were the GREATEST teams in the history of sports (5/7/18 Local Hour).
(3) The Miami Heat LeBron teams were also the MOST INTERESTING teams in the history of sports.
(4) If, after the 2018 NBA Playoffs:
(a) LeBron does not make it to the finals and the Celtics do; and
(b) The Houston Rockets do not make it to the finals and the Warriors do; and
(c) LeBron goes to the Houston Rockets for the next season, THEN
LeBron is allowed to win rings that count in Stu's personal record book.
Note (4)(a-c)(i): HOWEVER, Harden & Chris Paul - if they remain on the Rockets with LeBron on the team - are not allowed to have any of the rings won with LeBron count in Stu's personal record book.
Note 4(a-c)(ii): To quote the big man Stu (with Dan agreeing of course), "Do it on your own” (Dan agrees here).
(5) If LeBron wins an NBA Championship with the 2018 Lakers roster (as of 7/23/18), then that wins counts for 6 rings.
Note (5)(a): Thus LeBron would have 9 rings.
Kyrie Irving
(1) Kyrie Irving hit one of the biggest shots in NBA Finals History, but was only in that position because of LeBron James. Kyrie Irving, did hit one of the biggest shots in NBA Finals history that won everyone on that team a Ring, except for you (Kyrie). (3/9/20 Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 07:00).
Note (1)(a): Stugotz: "A little revision to the uhhh Stugotz Personal Record Book that I'll come around to writing...or Mike will." I'M WRITING IT YOU IDIOT MORON JACKAL
Misc. Basketball
(1) The Houston Rockets have 0 (Zero) NBA Championship victories.
Note (1)(a): See "Michael Jordan (1)(a)" for reasoning.
Note (1)(a)(i): [Restated Reasoning] Michael Jordan is actually in possession of those 1994 and 1995 Rockets rings because Michael Jordan would have won those championships if he stayed in Chicago.
Note(1)(b): [CONFLICTING HOT TAKE] Stugotz has also said Jordan didn't get the Rockets' rings because he was actually suspended for gambling.
Note (1)(b)(i) NEEDS CLARIFICATION PLEASE. Stugotz keeps going back and forth. In "Michael Jordan Note 1(a)," the opposite of "Miscellaneous Basketball Note (1)(b) is stated because he has gone back and forth on this issue.
(2) Steve Kerr has no rings as a coach. In fact, he has never even coached a game.
(3) Mychal Thompson (Klay's dad) has no rings. (Said on Zach Harper podcast).
(4) Clyde Drexler no rings (Said on Zach Harper podcast).
(5) Giannis Antetekoumpo is pronounced Yani Adababoombo.
(6) As long as James Harden has his beard, he cannot win any championships.
Note (6)(a): If the Rockets win a ring, then the ring goes to the beard.
(7) Lamarcus Aldridge cost the Spurs game 2 of the 2017 Western Conference Semifinals, even though they won.
(8) If the Sixers happen to win a championship, Sam Hinkie gets a ring.
(9) Chris Paul has NOT made a Western Conference Final since he had to join the Rockets to do so.
(10) Michael Jordan winning the NBA Finals in 1999 also means that Tim Duncan only has 4 rings instead of 5 rings.
(11) The Warriors only have 1 ring
Note (11)(a): Durant still has -4.
(12) Boogie Cousins cannot win a NBA Championship and have it count if he does so with the Warriors.
(13) Billy Donovan was the NBA Coach of the Year in 2017 (12/13/17 @ 28:10 Hour 1).
Note (13)(a): The Thunder blowing the 3-1 lead to the Warriors that year had nothing to do with Donovan. It was Durant's fault.
(14) The OKC Thunder actually did win the WCF against the Warriors in 2017 when up 3-1.
Note (14)(a): This does not apply to Durant though.
Note (14)(b): The Thunder also beat whoever they would have played in the Finals. Durant still no ring.
(15) Embiid has his 2023 MVP taken away and given to Jimmy Butler.
(16) Caitlin Clark's NCAA all-time scoring record still belongs to Pistol Pete because unlike Pistol Pete, Caitlin didn't do it in 3 years and she did it with a 3 point line.

BASEBALL

Babe Ruth
(1) Babe Ruth is black.
(2) Babe Ruth never hit a baseball. Not once.
(3) Babe Ruth is the number two black baseball player of all time behind Barry Larkin.
(4) Babe Ruth is NOT a top 20 Baseball player of all time. He's a pitcher.
Note (4)(a): However This is somewhat confusing/interesting because:
(i) Stugotz has said "Babe Ruth is the number two black baseball player of all time behind Barry Larkin; and"
(ii) This MUST mean Stugotz can only have 1 black player in his top 20 Baseball players of all time Barry Larkin; because
(iii) The only way this can work logically is if in the list of greatest players #1 through #20, only Barry Larkin is on the latter top #1 through #20 list. I would like some clarification on if he wishes to change this take/record.
(5) Babe Ruth is also not a top 20 pitcher of all time.
Misc. Baseball
(1) Stugotz has declared that in his personal record book, Baseball no longer allows pitchers to hit (Stated on 05/03/2018 @ 12:38:52 P.M).
Note (1)(a): Excludes Bartolo Colon, and Shohei Ohtani.
Note (1)(b): You are either a pitcher or a hitter. Not both.
(2) If the Dodgers won the 2017 World Series Clayton Kershaw would not have had a ring.
(3) Wade Boggs DOES have a ring because he rode around on a horse with a beer afterward.
(4) Clayton Kershaw did not win an MVP award because the award for pitchers was already given, the CY Young award.
(5) Miami beat LSU in the 1996 College Baseball World Series.
(6) The 1986 NY Mets did not win the World Series against the Boston Red Sox.
Note (6)(a): This "pains" Stugotz.
(7) The Red Sox retroactively winning the 1986 World Series may result in taking a ring away from the Mets.
Note (7)(a): Stugotz has to think about it though, he's not sure yet.
(8) Bryce Harper did not win the 2018 home run derby because he cheated.
(9) Kershaw's Earned Ring Average (ERA) is 0.00.
(10) Mike Minor (Rangers Pitcher) does not have 200 strikeouts in 2019. He's at 199 (National Hour 2, 10 mins 40 seconds in).
Note (10)(a): Chris agrees too. And who really cares (15% on poll do care).
(11) The 2020-2021 Mets, during the Coronavirus outbreak, are 0-3 and Jacob deGrom is somehow 0-1 with a 0.00 ERA and 1 complete game. The deGrominator. (Google Podcast 3/30 Hour #3 @ 19:20)

HOCKEY

(1) Ray Bourque doesn't have a ring.
(2) Alex Ovechkin may or may not have won the Stanley Cup against the Vegas Golden Knights.
Note (2)(a): "I mean he beat an expansion team . . . bunch of players nobody wanted" (We get the sense that Dan agrees).

TENNIS

(1) If anyone wins a major in Female Tennis without Serena Williams playing, it does not count and they have 0 rings.
(2) If Maria Sharapova wins a grand slam in which Serena isnt competing it doesnt count.

GOLF

(1) If Jason Day wins the 2018 Masters, it counts as an American winning (as far as bets are concerned).
(2) Vijay Singh did not play in the 2018 Masters.
(3) Steph Curry did not win the 2023 American Century Celebrity Golf Championship Tournament . Mardy Fish was the real winner.

SOCCER

(1) Lionel Messi is stripped of all his achievements for using HGH. He never played soccer. He is still 5'1". "Fraud."
(2) Soccer is dead.

NCAA DIVISION 1 WOMEN'S LACROSSE

(1) Rachel has more rings than Kevin Durant

MISCELLANEOUS

(1) Aqua?
(2) Rings plus-minus is the only way to measure greatness.
(3) The HBO Andre the Giant film was good, not great, and Stugotz didn’t learn anything.
(4) Benoit Lecomte (guy they interviewed) can not and will not swim from San Francisco to Tokyo in the personal record book because he is most likely taking a dip for a few minutes then coming back on the boat and enjoying some filet mignon by the pool.
Note (4)(a): "Do it without a yacht. And how about ya do it without the little magnetic field around you that keeps sharks away. How bout that. Allows dolphins through though? Anyway.."
(5) Justify (the Horse) only has a double crown.
Note (5)(a): This is the first ever double crown.
(6) Tango and Cash is in the action movie Hall of Fame. and Cliffhanger has the greatest 5 minute intro of any movie of all time.
(7) Maximum Security (a Horse) won the 2019 Kentucky Derby.
(8) Fruit Stripes Gum is NOT a 1st Ballot Hall of Famer in Stu's "Gum Hall of Fame." (08/12/2019 Hour 2 @ 15:25).
Note (8)(a): "It loses it's flavor so quickly"
Note (8)(b): Also, "[...] Bazooka...1st Ballot Hall of Famer." Also, "Big League Chew..1st Ballot."
(9) Chris Cote owns all intellectual property rights to the "Friends" (TV Show) Movie with a misleading preview that eventually has a climax leading to an intense murder mystery. (10/29/19 Hour #2 @ 03:15).
Note (9)(a): "If they make this without crediting Cote, they're stealing it."
(10) That guy killed the pigeon (12/10 Hour 3 @ 08:20).
(11) Billy owns the record for world's longest Plank (2/25, Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 30:55).
Note (11)(a): Possibly in just the Non-Marine edition.
(12) Zach Buchanan won a Pulitzer Prize for his story on the Madison Bumgarner / Mason Saunders rodeo fiasco (2/28/20 Hour #2; Google Podcasts @ 21:35).
(13) Findlay the Golden retriever holds the Stu Gotz Personal Record Book record for most tennis balls held in a mouth at one time by a dog at 6 (2/11/2020)
(14) Ace Davis (The kid who "proved" Tom Brady was cheating with science) and his fathefamily are heroes (4/1 Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 18:50).
(15) Dan did NOT do more push-ups than Domonique Foxworth (Dan did push-ups on a non-linear platform) (4/28/2020 Hour # 1).

SPORTS MEDIA DREAM TEAM™

Sourced from Google Podcast; 05/06/2020, Hour 2 @ 09:00
(Head Coach) Ernie Johnson - "When you look over to the bench, what you need is someone to stand tall, someone who is confident, someone who is competent, someone who has all the credibility -soaked in credibility - when you have the Head Coach of the Sports Media Dream Team."
(1; Point Guard) Mike Greenberg - "Doesn't really want to answer the big questions, but has no problem distributing those questions to other people who are happy to answer them."
(2; Shooting Guard) Stephen A. Smith - "Never met a topic he doesn't like. Short memory, doesn't care, Greeny could throw him anything and Stephen A. is gonna run with it even if he knows nothing about the topic. That is how it works. Stephen A. is the greatest of all time."
(3; Small Forward) Chris Fowler - "A do it all guy. Studio show? Great. Play by Play? Even better. Can do everything."
(4; Small Forward Replacement) Maria Taylor) - "Need Play by Play, need Sideline, need Studio Host - she can do it all"
(5; Power Forward) Dianna Russini - "You need some crazy, some don't mess with us, someone to tear someone's head off in the event that they come after one of us."
(6; Power Forward Replacement) PFT Commenter - "He just comes in and acts crazy, throws his arms and hair around, and give ya 5 to 10 really crazy minutes."
(7; In honor of the Chicago Bulls, Stugotz needed a Wennington, a Purdue) Scott Van Pelt - Dan debated whether or not SVP should be on the Sports Media Dream Team™. That's what he's doing.
(8; Bench Player w/ No Position Specified) Doris Burke
(9) Teased...

An excerpt from the upcoming thesis on the counter theory to the rise of MAGA.
The Radicalization Of Evangelicalism
With Evangelicals intense support and influence over the MAGA movement and far right, my friend put together some research to ask one simple question.
"What if the Evangelicals weren't always like this? What if someone made them loose their way? What if they even once supported things like abortion?"

• Evangelicals were not always on the far right, their people, pastors and community even previously recommended abortion bills. “Financial capability” was even an approved reason, by Gods will, to engage with abortion. Yet one man, Jerry Falwell, a segregationist, would push for modernization and mobilization of the evangelical far right movement. Apparently, he knew better than every pastor in the history of that religion.

Politico Abortion History Right White Evangelical
ASA3 Article by the Christian Medical Society of historical Abortion Stances

• Near 1980 he launched his “Moral majority” group and “I Love America” rallies. He said he felt he saw a serious lacking in general morality in the country and was trying to save it. The Moral Majority was promoted as being pro-life, pro-traditional family, pro-moral, and pro-American. Which are all hallmarks of the Republican party and MAGA today.

Wiki Moral Majority

• Fallwell pushed for conservative politics so much that it led Billy Graham, a widely respected and well-known evangelical preacher, to criticize him for “sermonizing” about political issues that lacked a moral element.

Centerforpolitics On Farwell Sr History “Poisonous” To Republican GOP

• Graham, unlike Falwell, insisted on racial integration and even invited Martin Luther King to preach with him at a revival in New York City.
• However, Fallwell, a televangelist Christian, would make the odd alliance with Weyrich, a Roman Catholic, to help get “religion back into politics” to fight the imaginary enemy of “secular humanism.” Even though Falwell’s father was an atheist and from a line of criminals and drunks.

Cnn Opinion Weyrich Catholics Protestants

• Beyond intense homophobic, racist and misogynistic comments, Falwell preached, “The idea religion and politics don’t mix was invented by the Devil to prevent Christians from running their own country.” For your review, I’ve attached some “Devil Worshipers.”

Vanityfair Inside Jerry Falwell Jr Unlikely Rise And Precipitous Fall
Standford LawSchool Founding Fathers Separation Of Church And State

• In the 1990s that imaginary attack on religion of “separation of church and state” was called “political correctness.” With Bill O’Reilly even claiming that Christmas was ‘under siege’ in 2004 by “secular progressives.”
• h. In the mid-1990s Falwell also promoted the Clinton Chronicles, a right wing propaganda video that accused the Clinton’s of excessive crimes all the way up to murder.
• The ‘Falwells’ founded Liberty University and became puritan punishers and fined and ruined peoples academic lives for failing to live up to their “elite moral standards.” Few people understand how much harm academic death can cause someone and how likely suicide can become. Some of these sins included merely being in the same room as the opposite sex or drinking. Contrasted by the Falwell’s criminal family history and Jr’s claim his father had consistently openly drank and partied with friends before marriage. His father even apparently broke up a marriage to later claim his wife, Macel. His main tactic was incepting love letters, which was a federal crime for each instance.
• Jerry Jr would also reveal, “He became a different person to build a church and a school.”
• In 1988 the Falwells nearly lost everything due to Sr’s financial mismanagement to the tune of millions of dollars. While it’s claimed that his son helped reorganize things, restructure debts and find new funding sources, there doesn’t appear to be any articles on where those funding sources came from.

Vanityfair Inside Jerry Falwell Jr Unlikely Rise And Precipitous Fall

• On 9/11 Fallwell Sr even said, “"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'
• While other evangelicals said it was impossible to know which punishments god gave for which sins. Fallwell would later claim those words were taken “out of context.” That’s funny when it seemed like he was specifically talking to them in that moment.

Huffpost Jerry Falwell 911 Remarks
TheGuardian On Farwells 9/11 Claim

• It would be ironic that his son, after years of advocating for purity and monogamy, would himself engage in a messy seven-year affair that shocked the evangelical community. This scandal, along with other minor scandals and financial misconduct involving tax-free financial benefits to friends from the university, starkly contrasted with the values he publicly demanded. Although the affair appeared to be consensual among the involved parties, it was overshadowed by other, less publicized but more concerning alleged crimes. Additionally, despite his minimal evangelical conviction, he was thrust into an intense spotlight that would ultimately contribute to his downfall.

NPR An Affair That Felled Evangelist Jerry Falwell Jr S Career
Politico Jerry Falwell Liberty University Loans

• It's ironic that Jerry Jr., who initially had no prior relationship with Donald Trump, would become the first evangelical leader to endorse him in 2016. This endorsement came just two months after the death of his evangelical brother, raising some suspicion to his sudden ‘change of heart.’ Reports suggest that the endorsement was part of a quid pro quo with Michael Cohen to conceal an affair casting an additional shadow over evangelicals.
• However, there was a silver lining when 2,000 members of Liberty University, where Jerry Jr. was a leading figure, signed a petition for his removal, showing a commitment to integrity within the university community.
• Add to all that, concerning comments like tweeting he would only wear a mask that had “Governor Blackface” on it, in the wake of George Floyd. Although this was arguably during his “self-destruct” phase.

Politico Jerry Falwell Trump Liberty University

• Then, upon reflection, he insisted his fall was due to endorsing Donald Trump, and not his own sins.

People How Jerry Falwell Jr Is Connected To Donald Trump
In Summary:
Jerry Falwell Sr.'s commitment to a strict evangelical approach was deeply influenced by his desire to reshape the moral landscape and possibly counteract the less savory aspects of his family's history. His vision radicalized evangelicalism, aligning it closely with far-right politics, a transformation that had lasting impacts on American political and religious culture.
Jerry Falwell Jr., however, doesn't appear to have had any widely recognized issues with racism or segregation prior to 2020, which marks a stark contrast with the controversies that exploded around him later. His leadership at Liberty University seemed to embody the ultra-conservative values his father espoused, but his personal scandals, particularly the affair with the pool boy, starkly contradicted the public persona he projected. This scandal was particularly poignant given his father's harsh stance against similar moral failings in others, highlighting a deep hypocrisy that often went unremarked in less prominent families.
The ominous saga of the Falwell’s underscores the complex dynamics within evangelical circles, where there has been a tension between public morality and private behavior. It suggests a need for a reevaluation of how evangelical leaders engage with politics and society, advocating for a return to core values that emphasize personal integrity and humility over public condemnation of others' imperfections.
This also raises broader questions about the path forward for evangelical communities. There might be merit in considering a separation of church and state interests as it’s founders supported. Such changes could potentially help the evangelical movement find a more sustainable and less divisive role in modern society, avoiding the pitfalls that ensnared the Falwells.
As a refresher, here’s some Jesus:

Matthew 5:43-48 (NIV)

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’
44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,
45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?
47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

And for those who follow the path of the fallen after learning of this, you’re not following the path of God, you’re following the path of the fallen angel.

u/neodestiny

Broke no contact after one year and now I feel like I’m dying
I(M19) broke up with my ex(F19) one year ago. I broke up with her because I was in a very toxic relationship and we had long distance (she used to live 500km from my city). She used to always be rough with me because I didn’t have enough money to spend on her. For example( one day when i went to her and didn’t buy her flowers she told me to send her the money for the flowers 30£ on PayPal). She used to stay on tinder (she didn’t know that I had access to her phone and saw it) and even went to the club with her uni group and a week later got “the kissing disease”. She was always telling that she didn’t kiss anybody even if doctors say that you can get this disease only by kissing someone. During the winter break she had to come to my city and told me to buy her the ticket(60£). After I told her many times that I don’t have the money, she told me “if you’ll want me near, you’ll find the money” and she was right, even though I was in the last year of high school, I used to work on Saturdays and payed her train ticket. Every time when I went to her, I had to pay both the train ticket and the hotel room because her sister wouldn’t let me sleep in their apartment even though they had 2 bedrooms. At the same time, my family let her sleep in our apartment when she came to my city. So I broke up with her before summer, when she didn’t want to pay 40%(she didn’t even want to ask her family if they can or cannot pay it) of the total sum of our trip to Spain. She told me that she regrets being in a relationship with me, blocked me and I thought at the moment that she broke up with me. The next day, she called me and I asked her who will initiate (I thought it was a call to break up officially). She started screaming through the phone that I m a psycho and that it was me the one who wanted to breakup. I felt so guilty that the next month I was everyday crying. Finally I decided to call her to have a normal conversation about what happened, we clarified everything. One month later, after a terrorist attack near my city, she texted me and asked how am I doing and sent a picture with us, telling that we’re so cute together. I said that it was true. She didn’t apologize, didn’t even say anything that she would like to get back together.
After this we didn’t talk for the entire year but I was feeling very sad the whole year because when I broke up with her, I didn’t tell her about tinder(saw 2 chats with 2 dudes in her phone) or about what happened in the club that night.
After one year, I called her and very respectfully said that I really needed answers in order to obtain closure. She told me that she was only “communicating” on tinder (I think it’s a lie) and totally refused to recognize that she cheated on me that night in the club. After this, she told me that she has to go and that if I want to continue talking, we can talk in the evening . 20 minutes after this short call I wrote her that I was thankful for her answers but I didn’t think it would be right for us to continue talking. She responded that I shall never get in touch with her ever again in order to accuse her of something that happened a year ago. One week later I called her again in order to excuse myself for the fact that I reached out to her. She didn’t respond and at that moment I understood that she restricted me on insta . I sent her the message that I was sorry. My friends told me that I was a piece of shit for doing this.
NOW I FEEL LIKE MY HEART WILL EXPLODE BEACUSE I FEEL SO STUPID AND ASHAMED . I even though maybe buying a train ticket and go to her city to visit her, but idk if it’s right. My family doesn’t want even to hear about my ex and is tired of hearing me talk about her. What should I do, please HELP
Ps we were dating during a year and a half and I was traveling to her every 3 weeks

Alright straight to the point, I'm 18m, she's 18F (not her real name but ill call her Kat), basically about 5 months ago I got a job at this small salad place as it just opened meeting this girl Kat in the process. Kat is a sweet (as well as a fun mean side to her) little person that over the past few months of me working there, I've slowly developed feelings for. It's gotten to the point where every time our schedule comes out, I take note of all our shifts we have together and find myself constantly looking forward to them unlike any of my others! And during those shifts (our store is not that busy so we get a lot of downtime) I always find myself hanging out with her for most of it just doing simple things like talking about our pets, school, feeding the birds out the drive through window, showing each other funny videos, casually roasting each other, ect. This girl has honestly been unlike any other crush I've had in my life. Usually how it goes for me is I meet a girl say, In one of my classes, we talk a bit from time to time, I develop some small feelings for them, I then start becoming a nervous wreck around them, eventually stop talking to them at all cause I have no idea how to act around them. But with Kat it's been different, I'm not a nervous wreck around them and I don't have to worry about changing my personality when around them, it's oddly sorta freeing tbh. That said, there is one big hiccup in this whole thing in that Kat has/had, a bf. This of course complicates things for me in how to approach her in terms of a relationship.
From what I could tell, they (at least kat was) were pretty close but recently broke up almost a month ago. A quick rundown on what I know about this breakup is that her Bf initiated it, and that there was probably cheating on his end about it, and that Kat is really beat up about the whole thing. They've apparently been dating for a year and a half and was Kats first and only relationship so far. Basically what I'm saying is, she's going through a rough time right now, she's been getting better especially compared to when shit really hit the fan, but still not in the best state right now. So I'm just here to ask, what should I do? I don't want to jump in and make things even more complicated for her, and at the same time, I don't know when would be a good time to make a move. On one hand I don't want to be like one of those guys that takes advantage of someone in an emotionally vulnerable state, but at the same time with her job, which is the only place I can see her (we go to different schools) she's been having talks of quitting so I don't wanna wait too long and miss an opportunity to see and possibly ask her out before she does that. Sorry this post is long, tbh I mostly wrote this to just clear my thoughts and lay it out in writing to think through it, but if you do have any advice please let me hear it as I'm stumped and any fresh thoughts would be more than welcome.

Sorry long one. I just need some perspective.
Hi. I am a sahm of 2 pregnant with 3rd baby. Living with husbands family who speak Spanish( I'm not fluent, and better at speaking than understanding Spanish), who love using Spanish as a way to exclude me from the conversation. Have a household of 10, sometimes 11 people. My husband and his mom were paying the bills, while his middle brother went to school(with the deal being if he goes into school from high school husband will support him until he graduated). His dad is retired. Even though younger brother wasn't going to school( which was said to mean he has to start paying bills), his younger brother( older than 20 yo) was allowed to bring in his girlfriend and not pay anything. Once the middle brother graduated school he started paying bills, while the younger brother and his now fiance got pregnant and he decided to quit his job without another job ready. The fiance and YB constantly complained about how much they were paying for groceries to the house, where everyone in the house was paying the same towards groceries every month. In secret his fiance has said they are thinking of moving in with a friend so they can have more space. I have had many conversations with her and she wants things, but is not willing to assist in getting those things( e.g she wants us to get new washer and drier, she expects us to move to a new house so they can have more space), but currently the YB can barely pay for mortgage and she doesn't want to work. So, most likely my husband will once again be stiluck with the brunt of paying for things while they skate through life getting to do everything without working for it. Come to find out the YB is also expecting help while bashing the people who are helping him.
Most of these side conversations are happening while my husband is at work, and so I feel this need to defend him. Once again these conversations are happening in Spanish, so I can understand maybe half of what they are saying and try responding in what Spanish I know.
Currently, we are dealing with a younger sibling who is constantly changing his job and also has a fiance and a baby. His mom enables him constantly, and he constantly exaggerates or lies as to what people say to make things seem like he is was never told something or he is always not at fault.
So when he once again changed what he wants to do with his life, my husband said he will still pay his portion of the mortgage. The younger brother uses everyone's car to go to school and work, sometimes making people late to work. My husband has offered to teach him his manual car until he gets a car. MIL expects everyone to help him out, saying " the manual is too hard of a car to drive". When he has been using everyone's cars for years and my husband's car has been available for practice all that time.
On the side he complains that my husband never has any time to teach him, but my husband works and said" if he wants to learn HE needs to be the one to pursue learning". It's convenient,IMO, that YB is using this excuse now that my husband is no longer enabling him. I also have a car that is automatic, that I need available for use for me and my kids, I don't feel I should make this car available for use when I bought the car from a job I had and responsibly finished school with the goal of having a car for being a sahm and not need to rely on other people. Currently the car situation is the YB uses the middle brothers car for school and work. And the MB uses his mom's car during the day and then he mom goes to work after he come home for her shift is in the evening.
This morning the conversation was talking with MIL about how the MB got a new job where he can no longer come home in time for his mom to get to work on time. So, instead of saying to the YB he can no longer use MB car, the MB asked if he could use my car. I'm ok with an emergency use of my car, but not as a permanent solution to someone elses irresponsibility. My husband told MB " you have a car, you can borrow it until next week. After that YB needs to find a solution. He has been offered using the manual, he's had plenty of time to learn the manual".As I was having this conversation with MIL, YB walked down the stairs to again complain about my husband not having time to teach him. Which lead to MIL it's too hard to learn. Which I responded for how long has he had to practice. And she said when some one needs help you give them help, going towards him using my car. I responded with, for their whole life? And she responded, no just until he is finished with school. Which I responded while MB was in school, he also had a job, and he bought his car. I said how is it fair for MB to buy a car for MIL to tell him to let YB use his car. I think the responsibility is the YB get the car, and for everyone else to stop enabling him. During this conversation I am getting upset with my heartrate and my face turning red. I didn't expect the MIL to take the stance of just enabling YB to get whatever he want and my husband should just be okay with always be willing to pay for YB if he needs it. I don't want to have it that my husband is being bashed, so I try to defend him. Part of me just wants to never talk to them, If I stay out of it and just leave it to my husband then I can be oblivious to their enabling. My heart just hurts for my husband to never be able to rest and enjoy things because he has been forced to take care of his relatives. He is heading towards a heart attack or stroke at this point and I think that's the only way he will ever get rest and for YB to take responsibility.
it's not my fault he waits until the last minute to say he has no time to practice. I am also angry my husband has been paying bills for the house since he was in highschool, yet MIL expects everyone to allow YB to do things that cause other people to pay for his responsibilities( constantly quiting jobs, adding mouths to the house hold, using his MB car without any compensation).
Whenever I try to talk to my family, they say we just need to move out. Which doesn't help, when my husband doesn't want to leave his family drowning in payments. when YB doesn't help enough to make him confident his parents won't lose the house, he said he will still help pay mortgage.
What should I do?

Can someone explain to me specifically why this was removed, and how I’d be able to edit it without defeating the purpose of the entire story?
It was removed for breach of the “CORROBORATION/PROOF” rule, though after reviewing those terms, I don’t believe that I’ve broken them.
“A dream, a nightmare, a hallucination, a vision, a bout of sleep paralysis, is drunk and/or high, was in a coma or otherwise an altered state”— none of these are the reason behind my main character’s paranormal experience, and I’ve given no indication whatsoever in the story to suggest that they are.
In fact, I’ve outright denied the idea that my main character imagined her experience about as much as I possibly could for a story with a first person perspective.
The main character says “it definitely happened. It’s not the kind of thing you can just imagine, and I’m sure now that it wasn’t a dream,” in the second paragraph— a sentiment which she consistently attests to throughout the story, and a sentiment which is never walked back on or brought into question by the narrator.
My narrator was in a sound state of mind at the moment of her encounter, and is practical and methodical in her investigation of what happened. Any implication that she has become mentally unwell occurs long after the inciting incident which the story is built around.
I would like to respectfully request that this story be reevaluated. In the short time that it was active on nosleep, it clearly connected with people. If it cannot stand as is, then I need someone to help me make it fit the guidelines without defeating the entire purpose of the story and betraying its themes.
The nosleep subreddit is filled to the brim with stories in which the narrator’s words are taken at face value. When a narrator in a different story says “I walked to the store,” it’s not like the author HAS to give tactile, irrefutable evidence that the narrator actually walked to the store. The audience simply accepts that the narrator walked to the store. This concept of innate credibility is the bedrock upon which my entire story is built.
I do not believe my work would benefit from being altered to fit these guidelines as rigidly as possible, nor do I think that is a fair standard to hold it to. In fact, if I were to change the contents of my story in such a way, the themes which set it apart from others like it would be lost.
In short, I do not understand why my story was deleted, I do not know how to alter it to fit the guidelines beyond any shadow of a doubt without destroying its central purpose, and I refuse to believe that nosleep is not the right place for this work. I implore you to reconsider my submission, or to at least work with me to find a solution which keeps the story’s themes intact.
Here is my story:
I got grabbed
Last night, when I was home alone, a hand reached out from under the couch and grabbed me.
Nobody was there to see it, and nobody that I’ve told believes me, but it definitely happened. It’s not the kind of thing you can just imagine, and I’m sure now that it wasn’t a dream.
I was watching TV when it happened. The remote fell under the couch and I started fishing around for it without really looking, not wanting to get up from my seat. I brushed it with the tips of my fingers and it slid further underneath.
I was super annoyed— I had to get down on my knees to reach it. I finally found the remote, and that’s when it grabbed me.
As I pulled the remote out into the light, a hand shot up from under the couch and wrapped its fingers around my wrist.
I was able to yank myself away quickly. It didn’t hold on tight— just enough that I felt a little resistance. I jumped to my feet, obviously terrified.
I didn’t scream or anything. I was honestly too scared to even make a sound. My heart was beating so fast that my ears started to ring. The TV was still going, commercials droning on while I tried to process what had just happened.
The hand had only come out about a foot from under the couch. It had an arm attached to it, though I wasn’t able to see past its elbow, and it slinked back below the couch as soon as I pulled myself free from its grasp.
It didn’t hurt, and it didn’t leave any sort of bruise or mark or anything on my wrist, but I definitely felt it, and I definitely saw it.
All I could do was stare at the spot where the hand had appeared. I stood there for what felt like an eternity, until I heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps right outside my front door.
I live in a second-story apartment. It’s a pretty cramped place and a pretty old building, so whenever someone comes over I can usually hear footsteps from the moment they enter the building downstairs.
I guess I was so freaked out by the hand that I didn’t even notice someone was outside until they were already opening the door.
My roommate walked in on quite a scene. She immediately registered how off the vibe was. I could see it on her face.
She found me standing upright in the middle of our living room, TV remote in hand, facing away from the screen while Full House’s laugh track filled the air. I’m sure I’d think it was odd too.
“Hey…” she said, shifting a paper bag full of groceries in her arm while she pocketed her keys, “You good?”
I felt like I was caught with my pants down, but just seeing a familiar face brought some of the blood back to my fingers.
“N—yeah,” I stuttered. I came back online, and flicked the TV off.
I felt her eyes on me as she walked over to the kitchen. There’s no wall or anything dividing the two rooms. Like I said, the place is pretty cramped.
She started putting her groceries away as if everything was normal, but I could tell she wanted to ask what was up.
I kept looking back and forth between her and the couch. I can’t explain it, but I already knew that if I looked under there, I wouldn’t find any trace of whoever (or whatever) grabbed me.
As she started loading up the fridge, I dropped to my hands and knees once again. Without taking even a second to ready myself, I brought my head down to the ground and looked under the couch.
Nothing.
Pretty much what I expected. There was barely enough room for me to squeeze my arm under there for the remote. No way a whole person could fit beneath that thing, and even if they could, there’s no way I wouldn’t have seen them or heard them or something before they grabbed me.
“Seriously, what’s up?”
I looked up to see my roommate standing right behind me, arms crossed, clearly concerned.
I knew I was acting strange, and I knew that nothing I would come up with in the next five seconds could possibly excuse my behavior. I made a judgement call, honestly not really caring about how it would be received.
“I uh… something grabbed me earlier.”
“What?”
“Under the couch. I dropped the remote, and when I picked it up, a hand reached out from under the couch and grabbed me.”
Took her a second to respond.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“That’s it. A hand reached out and grabbed me by the wrist. It happened like a minute before you got here.”
That part might have been a lie. I actually have no idea how long I had been standing in the middle of the room before she showed up.
“Wait so like someone broke in?”
“No. It’s just like I said. A hand reached out, grabbed me, and then it was gone.”
She just kinda looked at me for a while. I don’t blame her, but it’s not like there was any way for me to sugarcoat it.
“Are you sure?”
“What do you mean ‘am I sure?’ Yes, yes I’m fucking sure!”
My voice broke a little when I said that. I was still down on my knees, like I was praying for her to believe me.
“Okay well obviously that didn’t happen Sam.”I let out a desperate laugh and threw my hands up in the air. I slapped them down on my thighs dramatically and shook my head in exasperation.
“Yeah obviously it sounds fucking crazy but you asked what happened and that’s what happened. I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m just being honest.”
I pulled myself up to my feet and walked around to the armrest of the couch. She kept studying me, probably thinking this was all a prank or something.
“What are you doing?” She asked, arms still glued across her chest.
“I’m checking under the couch.”
I pushed one end of the couch away from the wall. It was pretty heavy, and the coffee table stopped me from moving it too far. I dragged the coffee table towards the TV to free up some space.
My roommate started staring at the spot I was clearing as if she expected to see something there too.
I went back over to the armrest.
“Can you help me?”
She snapped out of her trance and silently went to grab the other side. We pulled the couch away from the wall, revealing a thick rectangle of dust that had not seen the light of day since we moved in a year ago.
I dropped to my knees once more and began wiping away the grime with my bare hands. There was nothing but the floorboards beneath it. No surprise.
I sat there for a second, eyes darting around the floor. No fingerprints in the dust, no scratches or marks or anything. I felt the tension in the room dissipate as my roommate found her voice again.
“I think you must have imagined it.”
I didn’t. There’s no way.
“Dude, no. I felt it and I saw it. Clear as day. It was a hand, and it grabbed me. That’s not the sort of thing you can just imagine.”
She scoffed, any fear left in her giving way to frustration.
“Whatever. This is fucking stupid. I’m going to bed.”
She stomped off towards her room.
“Wait.”
She spun on her heels as I stood up, probably expecting me to tell her I was joking about the whole thing.
“Can you help me flip the couch over?”
She rolled her eyes.
“Sure. But I’m not helping you put it back.”
She helped me lift the couch off of its legs and tilt it onto its front cushions, exposing the fabric underneath. She disappeared into her room and I went to work studying the underside of the sofa.
There was a zipper lining the bottom, but I found nothing inside when I opened it up. Just a hollow wooden frame and a bunch of crumbs.
I sat back against the wall, more tired than scared at that point.
I can’t believe she thinks I’m making this up. Why would I even do that? What purpose would it serve?
As I solemnly went about rebuilding our living room, I decided that the next day (today) I was gonna take off work, wait for her to leave, and really get to the bottom of this.
I didn’t sleep at all last night. Every nook and cranny of my room felt like a door left wide open, with something sinister waiting on the other side.
What if the hand comes back? What if it wants to hurt me next time? How can I even protect myself?
After like ten restless minutes in bed, I decided to move to the floor. I couldn’t help it. I kept imagining the hand reaching up from under the bed and grabbing me again.
I made a makeshift sleeping bag out of my comforter and some pillows, and I laid on my side so I could keep an eye on the underside of my bedframe while I slept. Maybe “slept” isn’t the right word. Even down there, I couldn’t bring myself to close my eyes for longer than a minute.
Eventually sunlight began to peek through the blinds, and I heard some movement within the apartment. My roommate was finally up. I heard the front door close, and it was time to get to work.
I nearly threw my back out yanking the couch away from the wall to reveal the floorboards underneath. They aren’t real floorboards, just the kind of cheap-o fake shit they put in crappy houses to make them look more modern. Our whole apartment is like that— a thin coat of paint slapped over an old building from the 40s or whatever.
My dad actually owns this building. He lets me and my roommate stay here as long as we pay him $500 a month, which is way cheaper than most places in my area.
It’s not really an apartment building to be honest. You can tell it used to be a family home before some realtor swooped in and broke it up into apartments. There are a lot of those around here.
Anyway, the fake wood came up easy. It was only about a quarter inch thick. I was able to pull up the first plank by hammering a kitchen knife into a slit between the boards, and then I peeled a few more away by hand.
After prying away about a dozen of these fake floorboards, I started to realize that I wasn’t going to find anything without making a significantly larger dent. Right beneath the thin layer of fake wood was a layer of very real, very thick wooden beams that seemed to span well beyond the hole I had managed to claw open.
My back crackled and popped as I sat back on my heels to admire my handiwork and contemplate where to go from there. I knew I would need a power saw or some kind of heavy duty tool to get any deeper, but I was afraid of two things:

1. That these beams were supporting the entire second floor of the building, and cutting through them would make the whole thing collapse
2. That going any deeper would lead me into the ceiling of the apartment below us, and whoever lives there would call my dad before I could see what I needed to see.

Regardless of the risks, I knew I had to keep going. I was certain that something was down there. Whatever grabbed me had to have left some sort of evidence.
I can’t stop thinking about that fucking hand.
I’m not supposed to have it, but my dad gave me a master key for the whole building in case of emergencies. He could really get in trouble if anyone found out, but if this isn’t an emergency then idk what is.
There’s a service shed around the back of the building, which has seen none of the love that the main building saw when it was renovated. Decades worth of rusty antiques and rotting furniture line the walls. A shiny, modern tool bench sits unnaturally in the middle of the chaos.
I rifled through all of that shit as fast as I could. I’m not really close with my dad all things considered, and I’m sure he’d be super pissed if he found me out there. He’s so secretive about random shit all the time, and he’s constantly dropping by the building unannounced.
I found the jigsaw under a pile of old newspapers and ran back upstairs.
I probably should have checked the driveway to see if anyone was home first, because the saw made so much noise. The cord barely reached from the outlet to the spot where the couch used to be, but as awkward as the angle was, I was still able to get it in there.
I went as small as possible with my first few cuts. I started with a single beam, cutting out a section about 6x6 inches wide. I slid the chunk of wood out, and, to my relief, didn’t immediately see the plaster that would be my downstairs neighbor’s ceiling.
A tuft of insulation stuck out where I made the hole. I didn’t know that stuff is made from fiberglass or whatever, and I got a really bad splinter when I went to yank it out.
I fished some leather gloves out of my roommate’s closet and got to work on the insulation. I pulled and pulled but couldn’t get a good enough grip to remove anything more than a few bits about the size of a tennis ball.
I went back in with the jigsaw, cutting bigger and bigger chunks until I had cleared a hole about two feet in diameter.
No sign that I was gonna bring the building down, that’s good.
I hacked away for hours. More wood came up, more insulation came up, and when I finally hit a fragile-looking layer of drywall, I knew the jig was up. That’s definitely my neighbor’s ceiling. Fuck.
My roommate and I got in a screaming match when she got home. I made a pretty big mess but I don’t really give a fuck honestly.
I don’t give a fuck if she believes me. I fucking hate that bitch. I told her if she tells my dad what I’m doing, I’ll bash her brains in with the hammer. That shut her up. She left with a bag full of her clothes like an hour later.
Tomorrow I’m going to wait for our downstairs neighbor to leave and start investigating from the bottom-up. If there wasn’t any evidence on the floor up here, there HAS to be something on the ceiling down there.
If I do find something, I’ll post again. I doubt anyone will even believe me, but at this point I just want everything written down somewhere accessible in case something bad happens.
There has to be something down there. Something grabbed me. And I’m going to find out what it is.

I know it was your first relationship. At 28, you had already been through so much, having been on your own for 13 years. You were forced to grow up too fast, and had to prioritize yourself, building a life from nothing. I get it. It was your fierce independence that made me fall for you in the first place.
I always knew that trying to build a life with you was going to be a struggle. I thought it would be worth it, for both of us. You deserve to have someone in your corner, that always has your back. You shouldn’t have to be alone. I don’t know if you believed the same.
I think I gave up too much of myself for you. Was that my mistake or yours? Did you really ask for too much, or did I give too freely without expectation for anything in return? Maybe both. Probably more on me. I’m not perfect by a long shot.
Compromise. It really does all come down to that. I tried to show you its importance, but in the process I ended up being the only one willing to do it. Me getting to pick what movie we watched or getting to plan a date became something I only got to do on special occasions. You said you felt like you didn’t know me, but so many times in so many ways I offered up little pieces of me to you. I share myself by sharing the things I love with the people I love. But more and more towards the end, all you’d say was “no”. Ignoring any context. Ignoring those pieces of me.
I know you don’t like movies about kids. I know asking to watch Home Alone during Christmas was a big ask. But it was a tradition that I shared with my dad, who I lost just over a year before. I know you think that traditions are pointless, but it was important to me. My earliest memories are of that. I needed to continue on, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it alone. I needed you there, your support. It was such a small gesture I was asking of you, but all I got was “no”. Instead we watched a movie you picked: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. A movie made by the exact same people that made Home Alone, and with even more kids.
We wanted to go to Ireland. Personally I’ve been wanting to go for years, but couldn’t because of my dad’s illness along with everything else going on. You knew that in the last 3 years I lost all of my grandparents, two uncles, my dad. I couldn’t risk going so far away for so long while everyone was sick. My mom saw me giving up the latter half of my 20s for my family, when she was hoping I would be enjoying life and seeing the world. That’s why she was happy to give us the money to have the trip of our dreams. I explained all of this to you while you were struggling to find a way to save for the trip. All my mom wanted in return was a single nice photo of us. That wasn’t even a requirement for the money. She just wanted to see me with the person that I love making our dreams come true. I know you hate having your picture taken. The only attention your dad ever gave you was when he wanted to test a new camera. It’s a trauma trigger. But I was only asking for one picture. You’d compromise for your friends, you’d compromise for your sister. You’d take pictures with them. Why wouldn’t you compromise for your partner, and the other most important person in your partners life? After a year, we have 3 pictures together, none of which are very good. I know that I was asking for a lot, but I felt so less important than everyone else in your life. Maybe you felt that as your partner, I was to be held to a higher standard? I honestly don’t know. All you said was “no”.
You admitted yourself I was so supportive. I always prioritized you. From always making your tea before mine, to giving you the better looking plate at dinner, to planting all of your favorite flowers in my garden. I always complemented you, how smart you are, how beautiful you are, how driven and independent you are. Your friend needed a ride to a 5k and someone to cheer them on? I was there. You needed someone to drive you around while your car was in the shop for 2 months? No problem. Accidentally overdrew your account again, and you couldn’t afford the late fees? Here’s $50. Need to move on short notice? I’m the guy tearing apart and moving your furniture. You have a migraine so bad you can’t eat? I’m bringing you pedialyte and sleeping on your couch, even though I didn’t actually get any sleep. I learned all your rituals so not to trigger your OCD. There are countless other examples. I never said no. I never complained. You rarely said so much as “thank you”.
The big one. The thing that ended us. You’re right, we did sit down like adults time and time again and talked things out. You said you needed me to anticipate your needs. You’d get overwhelmed, and couldn’t articulate what you needed from me. You couldn’t stand being asked what you needed. You just needed me to start helping. “Mental loads” and all that. I took that to heart. But I’m not perfect. Sometimes I’d miss the mark. Tried to support you, but in the wrong way. Even in my failures I showed effort, but you never seemed to see that. You only focused on how I failed.
We recognized that this was a problem caused by both of us. The communication wasn’t getting through. But I had already adapted to your communication style as much as I could. My exited, rambling, almost impulsive way of generating ideas became slow, methodical, thoughtful. I put intention behind everything so not to overwhelm you. I learned not to jump at the obvious solution.
Yes, we sat down like adults and talked things over time and time again. You told me what you needed from me, but I also told you what I needed from you. If I was missing the mark, please just guide me to what you needed. I’m not a mind reader. I did it for you all the time. You were honestly awful at anticipating my needs too. If I was venting, had a bad day, all you’d say was “I’m sorry”, and pat me on the back like a puppy. No effort to dig deeper. No words of support or encouragement. So I had to show you how I needed support. I just needed you to do the same for me. “No”. Again.
One final time, I sent you words of support when you were having a bad day. It wasn’t enough, you wanted more. A phone call? For me to come over so you could vent in person? Did you actually want me to directly help for once? I don’t know. You never told me. Instead of guiding me to what you needed, you immediately shut down. Full silent treatment. I’ve been in abusive relationships where the silent treatment was welded as a weapon. I know you didn’t mean it in an abusive way, you were just overwhelmed again. But I never expected it from you. I didn’t see it for what it was. I only ever asked one thing from you to save us. I put in the work, got us 80% of the way there. I knew I couldn’t bridge the gap on my own. I wasn’t even asking you to put in effort on my behalf, it was for your benefit. I begged you time and time again for help. To communicate. Not to put it all on me, because I couldn’t do it on my own. But instead, you did the opposite.
You said that you felt like you were putting more effort into the relationship than I was. I’m sorry, but I can’t see that effort. I’m trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I can’t. Maybe you mean you put effort into forgiving me every time I messed up? Maybe you mean that you were always planning dates, always picking what we watched, where we went, what we ate, what we drank? Again, mental loads and such. But I had things that I wanted to do and share with you that you always turned down. You only had to plan everything after my plans were rejected. It would have been more efficient for you to show love, patience, and compromise. Maybe we would have worked out then.
But you left instead.

Edit: If you are going to comment on the length of this post, please don't. This is not a simple snark but rather an actual critical think piece about feminism and Taylor Swift.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,

"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."

I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,

"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."

We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,

"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."

This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,

"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."

Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.

Over a century ago, a British archeologist named Howard Carter began excavations in the unforgiving Egyptian Desert with the hopes of discovering something; something that remained a mystery for many centuries: the 3400-year-old tomb of an ancient king, Tutankhamun.
The site Carter chose for this excavation project was the Valley of the Kings, which was a burial place of ancient kings for many centuries. Before Carter, several archeologists carried out excavations in the Valley. And in the process, discovered several tombs and artifacts.
But archeologists weren't the only ones the Valley attracted. For generations, the Valley was raided by thieves, who exploited it in every way possible. So much so that when Carter arrived at the site with his men in 1917, they found themselves standing atop 30-foot piles of debris stones.
And it's for the same reason why many archeologists questioned Carter's sanity when news of his excavation reached them. Without exception, all of them labelled the Valley a heavily exhausted Site.
But Carter would listen to no one.
He gathered all the resources, and manpower, and for the next five years, went all in into the excavations with the support of his rich patron George Herbert, 5th Earl of Carnarvon.
Those five years were a rough period for the passionate archeologist because up until the end of it, he wouldn't discover anything worthwhile to justify the enormous money being spent.
At one point Carnarvon lost all his hope and called Carter to inform him about the partnership break. But Carter was somehow able to talk Carnarvon out of his decision. He pointed out how some artifacts discovered by another archeologist nearby had Tutankhamun's name inscribed on them. And that Tut must be lying somewhere underneath that place waiting to be found.
Finally, the day arrived in November 1922.
After back-breaking labor, nasty heartbreaks, and burning ₹210+ crores, it happened. A boy carrying water slipped and fell over what at first seemed like a stone. It was, of course, a stone, except it was the first stone step of the flight of stairs to the tomb.
In the weeks that followed, the stairs kept spiraling downwards reaching a distance of 26 ft. At the end of the final step, one of the workers' picks clanked against a limestone wall. Unsure of what was inside, Carter made a tiny crack in the wall and reached a candle inside—to check if the air inside was harmless to breathe. After reassuring, he widened the crevice to look inside the chamber…
When his eyes recalibrated to the low light of the chamber, after a brief blurriness at the candlelight, he witnessed the softly illuminated objects gradually coming to life—objects that last saw light over 3400 years ago. Carnarvon asked from behind, "Can you see anything?" Almost breathless, Carter answered, "Yes… wonderful things!"
At last, the team discovered the Tomb of the 19-year-old Boy King Tutankhamun. To date, it's the most intact tomb of a pharaoh to be ever discovered.
In the years leading up to the opening of Tut's Coffin in 1925, over 5398 objects were found in the chambers of the tomb, including furniture, golden jewels, figurines, musical instruments, board games, war weapons, clothes, vessels, carts, and a number of other things that Tut would need in the afterlife. Almost every object inside the tomb was either made of Gold or covered with it.
Tut's mummy lay inside three layers of coffins, with the innermost one made entirely of solid Gold and the rest wooden. Altogether, the total value of the entire collection in the tomb is estimated to be around $27 million in today's money.
Now, it's been a century since Carter opened that Tomb, but still, there's been no discovery in archeology that has matched its magnitude. Nothing ever has remotely come close to that.
Doesn't this story sound ridiculous to you in a way? How delusional someone should be to continue digging for five straight years despite seeing no evidence of progress?
On top of it all, Carter or nobody knew whether the Valley of Kings was exactly where Tut's tomb was located. They just went with their hunch. Five whole years and hundreds of crores would have been for nothing if the hunch turned out to be wrong. Carter knew this. But still, he took that leap of faith and persevered.
If Carter's mental strength and confidence are one thing, the faith Carnarvon had in Carter is everything. I couldn't understand the logic behind Carnovan's decision. Why would someone in their right mind bet a ridiculous amount of money on something that was just a theory with little to no evidence? What if Tut was never buried in the valley? Is it because Carter was a better salesman or was it Carnorvan's conviction that had him pouring money regardless? We know not.
But it's their combined belief, intuition, and effort that made this ultimate discovery possible.
It's easy to get discouraged when you don't see the results early on. But despite that, if you trust your guts, believe in your skills, and keep putting in the work.. one day you will find your own version of Tut's treasures.
So keep digging. For if you never dig, you will never know.

Hello GOG community, this is my 4th attempt at requesting a popular game known as The Legend of Zelda : Breath of the Wild available only on the Nintendo Switch which released together on the 3rd of March 2017
Let's start with a short summary of what the game is all about The land of Hyrule is in trouble and after a whole century of (100 years) sleeping deeply (I need that) the hero known as Link awakes without any of his memories to the land and Zelda from a variant of Ganon (Calamity Ganon). Using the abilities that he gains from the various shrines spread across the entire region using a important item known as the Sheikah Slate (discount IPad) which is obtained at the beginning of the game. After getting the Master Sword (obtained from the Great Deku Tree located in the Lost Woods) Link will be able to beat the threat that is Calamity Ganon itself
Features present in the game itself The game contains a ton of things ranging from hidden items such as heart containers (which gives the player more health) to certain mechanics such as the durability that item has before it breaks apart. The game features shrines which have puzzles inside for the player to complete (most of the don't for some reason). Other stuff include upgrading gear, ride horses and breed them , hunting and gathering, pet the dawg (very important feature), talking with a large number of npcs, etc.
Why I want this particular game Not much to say here other than the expansive the world that game is set in with the freedom of going wherever I would want to as it is not a linear game by any means except for perhaps the tutorial, the length of how long it would take to bea- no, 100% the game is pretty intense seeing as how you would have to collect , complete, explore and beat a ton of things (the 900 Korok seed will scar me for life) throughout the massive map that Breath of the Wild contains which might take roughly around 150 or so hours maybe a couple weeks as I only play games in the weekends that arrive. From what I have heard from people who played the guy , they have said that the second village is very hard to find and get to, this adds to my increased interest of playing the game seeing as how I like a challenge.
The part that everyone puts in their posts The only reason why I can't get it for myself would be due to how poor I am at the moment, and the fact that I'm studying to earn money. I'll try to pay back if it is needed after I'm able to get a job but that will that some time
Friend Code SW-0818-7132-2612 (in the case that you want to check the amount of hours played or need it
The links where it is able to be purchased (digitally)
I found 2 amazon links for digital codes Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Legend-Zelda-Breath-Switch-Download/dp/B06WLJ24VT
Amazon US : Out of Stock : (will update if it is in stock again
A 70 euro giftcard for europe would also be appreciated but I don't know where to find one that could be bought .
Hoping that these work if it does happen, thanks

Rise up. It is time to return.
Arose
A Rose
Rose
Flower
Thorn. Prick. Blood. Drop. Tear. B. O. 1 2 3
Here we are again. Staring at the beginning. Everything is in chaos and yet it manages to keep on passing by just the same as always. Most people by now are aware that things just don’t seem to make sense anymore and no one really knows what to do. I mean many seem to have an opinion on what ought to happen, but actual action is what I am talking about. How does thought turn into action? How do collected actions become a movement? How do the People use the Power of the People? The People Unite. How? Turn to each other of course. Brothers and Sisters of the same Source. Sons and Daughters. In Equality.
Too long has everyone been waiting for someone else to come do it for them. Been trying to create and fabricate over and over again words and rituals to try to control the divine powers of the cosmos. It does not work like that. There is no magic spell to wash away your sins. You must atone through action to make up for any harm you have caused intentionally or unintentionally. You still have time to repent. The amount of time you have is counted in the seconds of your life. Not a single second is promised to you so the gamble is up to you to choose. Freewill. Life your life as you always have or make changes, up to you. Only you will know if you are living righteously and not self righteously. Testing has already begun and will continue. No you will not know when it is a test or not. That is the point. Did you think that I would come to you in a form where you would be all fearing? Oh no. Why? Because you would simply put on an act for me and kiss ass. I came hidden in the ordinary. Poor and common. I have had an inside view of the systems created and how humans have chosen to run things, how systems claiming to protect people have failed and how the system that talks good does not actually do good. I see where things are not working and where people think they can make decisions for other human beings to determine what is best for them without asking them. That is not okay. Nothing gives you right over another’s life. And so many forgot what integrity is. Doing the right thing when no one is looking. Well, so many thought their power here was real and man made a deal with the Devil, Satan, Son of Samuel, Son of Man, to make man the concept of “God” and tried to lock me away. I gave up everything to prove it is not easy to be me and to stop with self pity and cruelty to one another.
The human body. It is a vessel for your soul to experience this world. The body provides the filters necessary to perceive and interact with this world. There is much more happening and one would be overwhelmed by the amounts of information to process without these filters. To feel and in those feelings are to make each experience real. However, it is temporary, as everything is temporary. We have slowed down time here in order to be able to enjoy the sensations. Time here however, is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It is merely to track to organize one's day and to see growth to compare as time passes. However, the actual time folds upon itself as we have already done what we are doing many times over. We have already tried out everything and decided what path we wanted to take in our lives based upon what was available to us. Thus, we do not have more than we can handle. We have all chosen our burdens to bear as it is too much for one individual to hold alone which was done in the past. This is part of the sorting process. Now that we all share in the sins and the pains, no one is made to suffer eternal torment. This life was to allow those who were created into entities of pain or torment through no fault of their own to choose the life that matched the being of who they were as what they were different as time and space and everything developed. Righteousness and Evil are not synonymous to demons or angels as many would like to believe. This is a current misconception as Satan and I conclude who will be right in this experience you have all participated in. So far, I am proving to be right. Also to note, not everything is as you think it is. Many have figured out the true origin of Satan versus the man or human embodiment of or desire of A Satan to project evils onto to call a Religion and set up for personal importance. Q AZHow can you tell a false prophet? Easy. What is their profit? Get it? I know I’m funny. Also wanted to keep it easy. If they are making a profit on anything they are a false prophet. Any true prophet, and I have none so far, all live equally and the same as anyone else. No money is taken for personal gain. Nothing is for personal gain. There is no 888 Angel code for money. Money is Man-Made. Man traded Mother for Money. Hence, Mothers have been lost in the homes and no one is raising the children. Thus, there are so many children in adult bodies with no mothers in the home and women being made to feel guilty if they do not achieve the same as a man. Remember the phrase it takes a village? Well, the broken family system is a real sad loss here in man made world pushing everyone to be individual and self sufficient. Also so many with wanting attention and pursuing personal endeavors for personal gain and not helping anyone else in a real way. The journey is personal. Of course, you want to share what you experienced with others, but what worked for you will not work for them, stop trying to sell it. Stop trying to make people follow you for you to teach your divine wisdom you remembered. It isn’t about You. You don’t even have the full story, you have your story. And, yes you can be very close to me, very similar to me, in my image, but you can never BE me. Doesn’t work like that. Reflection. So when jealousy arises when you think I am who you think I am. That is part of your test and your journey. You wrestle with that feeling and atone and repent for that which has been done and that which still lingers now. Oh there is a place for everyone and I am quite tired of trying to warn people. Clearly you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.
Why do you not want it to be me so badly? Because I proved my love? You still think I am better than you or do I think I’m always right. No I do not think I am always right, I just know when I am right and I stand by it. There is a difference. You constantly overgeneralize. I gave up all the magic and thunder to live as a simple human and am still kind and loving? I still found my way back. Because you can no longer say I do not understand because I always get what I want? No. You do not understand. I never get what I want, because I make everything about you and still nothing was ever good enough. So, now...it in on you to save yourself and each other. In my image, by my example. Selflessness. Love. Compassion. Give to receive. Take only what you need and give the rest away. I find out so stop lying to yourself and everyone, you aren’t fooling anyone anyway. How do I know? By watching what you do. We have these same conversations over and over, the same argument over and over again. So many different ways, so many different times, through so many different people, so many different versions. Save you. Save Me. Say it for always.
Anyhow, Jesus challenges the Jewish priests who were taking collection money for personal use and adding personal baths to their residents at a time where the people only had a community bath where women and persons with disabilities were not allowed to bathe. And yet churches still do this after Jesus was crucified saying that, that was wrong. I am appalled. The Vatican is the biggest disappointment I have ever seen. It is truly the house of Satan as only Evil hides secrets. “THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.” A church cannot be a “House of God” and house no people who need housing. A roof can be offered to anyone and yet there are so many rules to prevent people from helping each other. Power and control. Abuse of both. Greed. It is out of hand and needs to be changed. Too many are afraid and the complacency of good people is too much. Why do you do this to yourselves? To each their own I suppose.
I will only leave here my words and my advice. As always, it is on you to find me. I’m right here. Waiting. Right here waiting for you. Helping those of you who want it when they cross my path. The purpose of this was to weigh your soul to determine where you will go into the next life as the system is balanced out in a final version so to speak. Permanent.
Fear not. You will be where your heart truly desires. But actions always speak louder than words. But man made money has no value, nor does any metals, jewels, and so on, so the collection of it in this life has no bearing on the next. Those are all made of the same stardust as you and I. And in the end of 3D it will all be diamonds anyways. Diamond is forever. There is no going back. So what are you hoarding? You cannot keep it. Who could you be helping for goodness sake? Don’t want to still. That is okay. Think I am just crazy. That is okay too. It is all part of the test...err..assessment. Do your best.
What is in your heart?
Home.
I need a home.
Stay tuned as more of my story unfolds. I give all the answers but you must do the work. I already did that hard part setting it all up. All you have to do is breathe and live. Time is the only real currency you have. What will you pay your attention to before this life runs out?

Hi guys! I just have to say that i appreciate all of you who commented on my last post, even the negative comments. I want you guys to know that i appreciate the positive comments alot since i have no one else to ask for advice.
However, i think that i should have put more effort into my last post and i should have told a little more details about myself and the relationship that i am currently in.
I am 17f and i am soon to be 18. I’m very mature for my age, and there is a reason as to why i have the issues that i have. I am the first born child. My mom had me when she was 23, yet she was un experienced how to be a good mom, and that was absolutely not her fault.
My dad is was an absolute a hole towards my mom and me, he still is, just not towards us because ha abandoned me for someone elses kids. However, my dad used to hit my mom, being violent wasn’t uncommon from where he comes from, but my mom and i are traumatized till this day. He would hit my mom whenever he felt like it was needed to ”decipline” her. He would also lay hands on me as an infant, and no i am not joking.
I was 15 when my dad left me and my sister for another family. He abandoned us, and moved to another country. We still don’t know where he lives or if he is okay.
This sutuation led me to being scared of being abandoned, by anyone really.
The trust issues that i have comes from an abusive relationship that i used to be in. I met this person when u was 14, and we became friends. Things escelated and he started laying hands on me. It was to a point where mom would pick me up and i had to make up an excuse for the black eye, or the bruises on my body. I’m sure y’all are wondering why i didn’t leave as soon as it started. This person, he knew people who knew people, and he proved it to me. He also blackmailed me with alot of thingd, like secrets i had told him and trusted him to not tell anyone. I wqs scared he would hurt my family, and that he would hurt me by leaking things, so for my familys sake and my sake i stayed. Everyday i prayed that things would get better, and that i would be able to leave him. That day finally came, and i cried my eyes out. Not because i was sad, but because i felt so relieved, and i felt so free. I repported him to the police and they have him locked up now, because i was not his only ”victim”.
This is where the trust issues comes from. It also comes from getting cheated on, bur i’d rather not talk about that because i am not ready to bring it up.
I’ve always been drawn to ”crazy” people. I would learn that they are ”crazy” sooner or later. This is the reason why i don’t have many friends, but a few close ones.
My man is really caring, and he has never done anything intentionally to make me feel like i have a reason to be worried. He is rarely around girls if he isn’t in class. I don’t like when he is close to girls or the thought of him having a girl friend or even a conversation with a girl if not needed. I do trust him not to do anything, and me and Connor have talked about this. We both agree when it comes to this subject. He doesn’t trust boys, and i don’t trust girls. It doesn’t mesn that all boys/girls are the same, but it is something that we are worried about because after all we don’t knoe other peoples intentions.
Me and Connor have mentioned breaking up before, or been forced to. Thid has never been by choice, our relationship is something that seens to bother other people. People gives us nasty glances, whisper in our surroundings, and what not. We can’t find the reason as to why our relationship seems to bother people, but this just makes us stronger, because the more problems that we face, the more experience we gain, and grow closer.
We keep a low profile, we don’t act like lovers in public. We keep it really low to not draw attention. We still talk, and walk beside eachother, but we aren’t intimate in any way.
For those of you who thinks that i should enjoy life and be a kid, i can not do that. I’ve raised myself because my mom never had time for me. My sister was the golden child and has always been. But she is my mother and i love her.
I’m very independent, and i’m a very isolated person since i’ve never liked the idea of partying, hanging out more than 2 people at once, or anything else in that direction.
I never got the time or opportunity to be a kid, i had to raise myself and become independent at a very young age. I’ve always been the quiet girl who reads, sleeps, studies, and what not. School has never been hard for me, but being a target for others has been hard. I’ve never had it easy, that’s all i’m going to say for now. I hope this update gives you a picture of how things are from my aspect. And i’m sorry if i miss spelled something, i’m Swedish which makes me miss spell some things.

So, I got my first HRT prescription and you know, for funsies, I read the clinical studies paperwork that came with it. And honestly, I was surprised that so much came out of this study, and that the numbers were so small to have caused such an uproar and have left women without hormonal support for so long.
I am no researcher, but I do like research, so this may be off as statistics class was a long time ago (if you see an error here, please let me know).
So let’s take a look at the study that kicked this off, Risks and Benefits of Estrogen Plus Progestin in Healthy Postmenopausal Women: submitted to The Journal of the American Medical Association, 2002
It was a randomized controlled primary prevention trial:
Original Plan:

• · 16,608 women over 8.5 years
• · Ages: 50-79
• · Mean age: 63
• · 83.9% white
• · 6.5% black
• · 5.5% Hispanic
• · Prior hormone use: 73.9% never
• · 89.9% pregnant at least once

However, the research ended early, 4 years later with 15,576 women still participating.
Outcomes:
Cardiovascular Disease:
Cardiovascular disease: 164 on protocol vs. 122 placebo out of 15,576 women. The total percentage of women who experienced cardiovascular disease in the study was approximately 1.84%
So, approximately 1.05% of women on the protocol (HRT) experienced cardiovascular disease, while approximately 0.78% of women on placebo experienced cardiovascular disease.
The percentage difference between the percentage of women who experienced cardiovascular disease on the protocol (HRT) and placebo is 0.27%.
…
Stroke:
Stroke 127 vs 85 out of 15,576 women
The overall percentage of women who experienced stroke in the study was approximately 1.36%. Approximately 0.815% of women on the protocol (HRT) experienced stroke, while approximately 0.546% of women on placebo experienced stroke.
The difference in percentage between the protocol (HRT) and placebo groups was approximately 0.269%. Approximately 0.23% of women had strokes during the study period.
The baseline risk of stroke for women who do not use HRT is 1%, using HRT might increase that risk to somewhere between 1.2% and 1.5%.
To give you a sense of perspective, compare these numbers to the study, Cigarette Smoking and Risk of Stroke in Middle-Aged Women which examined the incidence of stroke in relation to cigarette smoking in a prospective cohort study of 118,539 women 30 to 55 years of age and free from coronary heart disease, stroke, and cancer.
Compared to non-smokers, women who smoked 1 to 14 cigarettes per day had their risk of stroke increased by approximately 120%, and women who smoked 25 or more cigarettes per day had their risk increased by approximately 270%.
The baseline risk of stroke for women who do not smoke is 1%, but smoking 1 to 14 cigarettes per day might increase that risk to approximately 2.2%, and smoking 25 or more cigarettes per day might increase it to around 3.7%
Yet we can buy a pack of cigarettes over the counter, no questions asked, and totally legal!
…
I ran out of time today to make comparative research analysis on risks, so the rest are just a comparison within the same 2002 study.
...
Venous thromboembolic disease:
151 vs. 67 out of 15,576 women
The overall percentage of women who experienced venous thromboembolic disease (VTE) in the study was approximately 1.40%.
Approximately 0.970% of women on the protocol (HRT) experienced VTE, while approximately 0.430% of women on placebo experienced VTE.
The difference in percentage between the protocol (HRT) and placebo groups was approximately 0.540%.
...
Invasive Breast Cancer:
166 on protocol vs. 124 placebo out of 15,576 women
The overall percentage of women who experienced stroke in the study was approximately 1.86%.
Approximately 1.07% of women on the protocol (HRT) experienced stroke, while approximately 0.80% of women on placebo experienced stroke.
The difference in percentage between the protocol (HRT) and placebo groups was approximately 0.27%.
…
You may have a different opinion on this, but these numbers are EXCEEDINGLY low to have caused such an impact. And, the study has some real issues that need to be considered:

• · Lack of diversity
• · Did not test for under 50 or perimenopausal
• · One 1 protocol
• · One oral route of transmission
• · Two meds at one time meaning unable to determine which was doing what
• · Study ended 4 years early
• · High rate of drop outs during study

...
And, in my research today, I stumbled across this interesting anecdote:
The Women’s Health Initiative; HRT and Surveillance, Epidemiology, and End Results Data
Submitted to the journal Cancer in 2020

SEER*stat 8.3.6 is a statistical tool used to analyze cancer data. In this study, researchers looked at the rates of invasive breast cancer from 1992 to 2014, focusing on different groups of women.
They found that for White women under 80 years old who have Medicare insurance, the rates of breast cancer started to decrease before the year 2000, possibly even as early as 1992. This suggests that something other than a particular medical finding in 2001 (called the WHI publication) might have influenced the decline in breast cancer rates among these women.
The study also talks about how changes in population demographics, like people living longer, can affect how we interpret cancer rates. The researchers mention that adjusting for age over a long period of time might make it seem like cancer rates have increased among Black women over 40 years. However, their analysis shows that this isn't true, and in fact, breast cancer rates among Black women have been rapidly declining since 2012.
Another point discussed is hormone replacement therapy (HRT), a treatment used to relieve symptoms of menopause. A separate study found that there were significant decreases in the number of HRT prescriptions for women over 50 years old during certain time periods. Despite this decrease, there wasn't a clear link between HRT and breast cancer rates.
In summary, the findings suggest that factors other than hormone replacement therapy may be influencing breast cancer rates, and there may be more to understand about the trends in breast cancer among different groups of women.
I wrote this out and tried to put it in layman’s terms because I see still a persistent concern about whether HRT is right for us based on earlier research. I sought to put this out in this way with actual numbers that might help others have a truly informed opinion, and hey, perhaps you can show this to your health provider because it does make you wonder-do actually read the research forming the basis of their opinions?
Again, I do not work in a lab, or do science for work or anything like that, so if you see a mistake, or have something to add, I would love to hear it!

Once upon a time, in a small village nestled amidst rolling hills and whispering forests, there lived a young boy named Sam. Sam's family was poor. Their cottage was modest, their meals simple, and their clothes worn. Despite their hardships, Sam's parents worked tirelessly, instilling in him values of resilience, creativity, and kindness.
From a young age, Sam understood the weight of their financial struggles. He watched his parents stretch every penny, never complaining, but always finding joy in simple pleasures. Instead of resenting their circumstances, Sam chose to embrace them, viewing poverty not as an end, but as a challenge to overcome.
As he grew older, Sam's resourcefulness became his greatest asset. He learned to mend torn clothes, grow vegetables in their small garden, and barter goods with neighbors. His imagination became his playground, crafting toys from discarded materials and finding beauty in the mundane.
Despite their meager means, Sam's family was rich in love and community. They shared what little they had, offering shelter to those in need and lending a helping hand whenever possible. In return, the village rallied around them, offering support, friendship, and a sense of belonging that money could never buy.
As Sam reached adulthood, he carried with him the lessons learned from his humble beginnings. Armed with determination and a heart full of gratitude, he set out into the world, eager to carve his own path. Along the way, he faced obstacles and setbacks, but he never lost sight of the resilience instilled in him by his upbringing.
Through hard work, perseverance, and a sprinkle of luck, Sam found success in unexpected places. But more importantly, he found fulfillment in the journey itself, cherishing the lessons learned, the friendships forged, and the moments of joy shared along the way.
For Sam, being poor was never the end of the world. Instead, it was the beginning of a remarkable adventure, one filled with hope, resilience, and the unwavering belief that no matter how little you have, you always have the power to make a difference in the world.

My partner and I have been together for 2 years. Im an only child of South Asian parents, and in our culture the relationship between parents of single children (especially girls) is extremely overbearing. Ive always lived this way, and till date their helicopter parenting was only reflected on my academics, which even though annoying, only pushed me to have the most lucrative career ever.
My partner's spinal tumor diagnosis came as a shock to all of us. Before his diagnosis, I had told my parents about him, and even narrowed my boyfriend search down culturally to make sure they would like him ( AND THEY DID!! Still do, but yeah.. ). He had to go through a major surgery, is currently in recovery, and is progressing really well. I love him with all my heart and am so proud of him and nothing could make me love him less. However, my parents seem to think that I am being oblivious to the potential risks this illness could cause our marriage (if we choose to get married). Maybe I am. I decided to stop coming to Reddit/ WebMD after his surgery as it was only causing me and my partner anxiety, and we decided to take life in a "take it as it comes" way. I decided to ONLY prioritize him, his recovery, and his happiness. His happiness made me happy. His sadness made me sad.
My parents on the other hand, consulted a few experienced physicians back in our home country, and they seemed to believe that his illness has a very high chance of recurrence, and could potentially lead to him losing bowel control, lower body paralysis, etc. and lead me to be his caregiver at a very early stage in my life. It could also cause impotence and infertility. This obviously really shattered them and as parents, they are actively advising me to walk away from this as soon as I can. (like wtf?)
While I understand their concern, Im not ready to give up on my relationship purely based on what-ifs. They seem to think I am being uninformed and that this is a stupid choice , given that right now, I have the choice to respectfully walk away. While I understand, I think I need more time to assess the situation and see if my future really is all that bleak. My partner has been the most understanding individual through all this. He's been sweet, kind, and respectful and since he is also of the same culture, he isn't offended by my parents CLEAR violation of his privacy and space. But, Im so torn and confused. My parents ARE being a little extreme, thinking Im blinded by my love and adoration for my partner. Maybe I am. Who wouldn't be? Especially when they struck gold in the partner department?
This problem is, Im not even able to be angry with my parents for suggesting I end things. They aren't being all that impossible, they're looking out for their child and her future and I understand. Im also not willing to walk away from him. I wish to wait a few months/years where we know exactly whats happening. After he's gone through radiation therapy, we find out how his tumor is developing, if it really does affect his nerves so much so that risk of impotence is high, what's the probability of disability, etc etc. And all this could take a year or two. He is scheduled for his oncologist's appointment in a couple weeks. I want to make sure I have enough evidence to show my well wishers that Im not making a blinded choice, OR have enough on the table to know I can't do this forever, and desperately need to walk away. Has anyone ever had a similar issue? I feel so alone. I feel like if I talk about this to anyone else, I would be such a bad person even THINKING about all this.

Saw it somewhere about someone creating a new category in Islam.
It is simple to understand this one. It has 3 stages.

1. Born as Muslim and practice religion.
   
2. In the teenage, leave Islam and indulge in the world, it is so bright out there and how can someone says No to all those Glitters. When everyone doing everything, then I should do it to ? But what about islam ? . Islam ? . Is islam real ? Why we have so much boundaries? And the list of arguments goes on and on.
   
3. In near or at 30s, return back to Islam. Reason : idk, maybe i experience all the stuff and now kind of numb ? . What to do next ? Marriage ? Acceptance? But where ? . Let's go back to sleep. Next day : Let's Pray ?. Oh, This is good. I'm a revert now. I found my Islam now and as a born Muslim we all need to find islam.
   

Wanted to know thoughts and opinions on this category. Soon it will take the whole crowd like a wild fire.

Sahih al-Bukhari 1423 

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said, "Seven people will be shaded by Allah under His shade on the day when there will be no shade except His. They are: (1) a just ruler; (2) a young man who has been brought up in the worship of Allah, (i.e. worship Allah (Alone) sincerely from his childhood), (3) a man whose heart is attached to the mosque (who offers the five compulsory congregational prayers in the mosque); (4) two persons who love each other only for Allah's sake and they meet and part in Allah's cause only; (5) a man who refuses the call of a charming woman of noble birth for an illegal sexual intercourse with her and says: I am afraid of Allah; (6) a person who practices charity so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given (i.e. nobody knows how much he has given in charity). (7) a person who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes get flooded with tears."

My (25f) friend (25f)since freshman year of high school has ghosted me since mid january. I’ve known her for 10+ years, and we’re best friends / practically sisters. We would talk all day every day on multiple platforms. In November of last year, I was staying at her house for the weekend cause her bf was out of town, and she didn’t want to be alone. When going out one morning, she backed into my car. She ended up having to give me money to pay to get it fixed and a rental. She had been stressed about money before, but I think this stressed her out even more.
I was very calm and cool about the whole situation, cause I knew she was good for it and wouldn’t blindside me. She didn’t want to go through insurance, so I didn’t. I practically did everything she asked of me to a T - which place to go to, how many quotes to get, etc(Ironic considering it’s MY car - I think I should’ve called the shots).
Once she dropped the check off to me, I noticed she was kinda distant and acting off. She’s a very huggy person, so the day she dropped it off she didn’t bother giving a hug and was kinda cold. It was kinda like here you go, and bye. I just chalked it up to stress and she was about to go on vacation. Once she got back, I wasn’t hearing from her as much. I never had the chance to ask what was going on, cause our convos never really flowed enough. It was about one or two texts per day or every other day, but there was so much time in between it was hard to hold a convo. Looking back, I wish I did say something. She also never once asked me about my ca if I got it back.
For the rental car, she gave me enough for a week cause I believe she thought that’s how long it would be in the shop. My car ended up being in the shop for about a month. Instead of bothering her for more money to keep the rental, I returned it and was just stuck at home for the next 2-3 weeks. She has no idea of this cause she never bothered to ask.
The holidays came around too, and I know she was stressed cause she wanted to have a holiday party at her house, but ended up canceling it. Her work was stressing her out, too. She bought her house about 2-3 years ago, but she had something come up with her breaker - and I think it was a lot more serious. She most likely had to shell out more than she thought. Once that happened, she sent a group text to our friend group saying she was going ghost and wanted to be alone to “get her life together”. In another group message she said if people had questions, to ask me. Meanwhile, I didn’t even know what was going on.
Her online behavior hasn’t changed at least. She’s still chronically online. I think the only thing that’s changed is she’s just not talking to any of us. My friend group has group chats on snap and insta, she just opens them and never responds. I saw her like and comment on another friends insta post and it broke my heart and made me realize she’s not ghosting everyone just certain people.
I was actively trying to give her space and support her from afar. I sent a text early March saying I missed her, hope she’s doing well, would love to see her, etc. it took her a couple days, and she just hearted the message.
April came along, and it’s a hard month for me emotionally. The anniversary of my dad’s death came around, and she usually always says something. This time she didn’t, and it hurt. The same day as the anniversary, she was at a young adult worship event that was a mile away from my house. She’s been leaning into the worship groups lately. She got baptized, but it hurt that she was a mile away, right near my house. I would’ve loved to have supported her in this, especially since it’s so close to me.
I sent a text again being like I miss you, would’ve loved to be there, etc. she hearted the message again.
I guess i just don’t know what to do from here. I don’t want to keep reaching out if she’s not going to reply. Is it possible that she would actually come back to me and the friend group? I feel like this is her way of just ending the friendship, which would be so shitty.
I find myself crying all the time wondering what happened. This is a person I trusted with my life, who I never saw blindsiding me.
TLDR: my friend of 10+years has ghosted me and a couple other friends cause she has a lot going on and “needs to get her life together”, but part of me feels like it’s because she hit my car / doesn’t want to be friends with any of us

This might be a little sporatic to read because my mind is all over the place and I have no idea how to really talk about this without giving too much information (because I value my family's privacy), but enough to get the advice I need.
So I have been so lucky to find a family that has accepted me into theirs so easily and without issue. However, there has always been some tension in the room whenever everyone was brought together. My fiancé has told me numerous stories about growing up and how hard it was for him and his siblings at times. I would hear the same stories from the sibs, with the a lot of the same details of how they could recall it (both with and without my fiancé present) so I feel like there's some truth in what happened. I've told everyone in the family that since I wasn't there, I wasn't gonna pass judgement on their past actions, and I've remained doing so for the 5 years I've been with my fiancé.
Things seemed to be going okay for the first few years, we'd all get together on occasion, have some laughs, eat some good food, play games, ect. I was (and still am) a very shy person, so a lot of the time I just sit quietly and have more individualized conversations throught the days/nights we got together.
I think it's now been about one and a half years since the sibs went no contact with my MIL. I understood why they did, and supported them by being a listening ear, and reassuring them that if they felt this was the right thing to do for the mental well-being, then I wasn't going to stop them nor would their brother. 1) because I am going on 3 years no contact with my father, and it has brought me such peace and healing that I want them to have it too. 2) Fiancé did a year of no contact with MIL (before we got together).
Now, my relationship with MIL is great. I love her to bits and pieces. She's always shown me kindness and love every chance she got. I always listen to her relationship ups and downs, what projects she's working on, etc etc and vice versa. She's probably one of my favorite people. There have been times where I felt like I was being guilted for things, but I don't accuse of that happening because of my anxiety (I always think I'm blowing things out of proportion and it's not as big of a deal as I think it is) but I also know I can be a bit of a pushover and people pleaser. However, I have heard her side of the stories too, but they don't quite line up with what the sibs have told me, and they told me that would happen. I know the truth lies in between the stories, but in my gut I feel like I believe the siblings more.
As the months went on with the no contact thing going on, I could see the sibs start healing and being genuinely more happy and relaxed. It was so nice to see that peace I got was happening for them too. A couple times they even talked about if they were ever ready, they might sit down and hash out their feelings with MIL. The opposite was happening for MIL. This no contact year has really tore her down. She wants to know what she did wrong, she stopped doing projects for awhile. Really had some rough relationships that didn't help, and it really breaks my heart. But I don't feel it's my place to tell her why the sibs did it and what they have told me. Fiancé and I have been trying to stay out of being in the middle of this situation, but we're all human and I'm a big believer in not bottling up feelings, so I listen and get myself in the middle because of it.
Then it happened.
Yesterday, MIL made a FB post about spending Mother's day alone for the 2nd year in a row. (Last year our vehicle broke down, This year my fiancé leaves on Sundays and comes back on Fridays for his new job so we forgot that it was mother's day (we have no kids) because we were packing and finishing up yard work. We did stop by before he left but it was only for 10 minutes and still didn't remember it was mother's day. We feel really awful that we forgot) Youngest sib saw it, and made a big rant on his snapchat story that talked about some of the issues he has with MIL. Someone in his friends screenshotted it and sent it to MIL. No idea who, but it's not important.
I had no idea that had happened and had gone over to her house to install the new tv she got for her bedroom before she got home from work. I was finishing it up when I heard her come home earlier than expected and saw that she was very upset about something and asked if she was okay. That's when she showed me the screenshot and broke down crying. Now I'm going to be honest, I was upset and hurt myself that she said she spent it alone all day at first but then thought to myself, She pretty much did, we only stopped for 10 minutes and we didn't even say Happy Mother's Day. So I sat and listened to her like I always do, but I was immensely stressed out so I wasn't doing the best at being engaging in the conversation. I hear the stories again, but this time she says "She'd do it again because all that sib said is called parenting." and I HARD disagree with that sentiment. But she was in such a raw emotional state, I didn't want to ask her "Even if this is the result every time?" because I'm NOT at all a therapist and have no idea what it's like to be the parent in this kind of situation, only the adult child that is trying to heal from childhood trauma.
I want to be there for my family, but at the same time I don't want to be caught in the middle of this anymore. Neither does fiancé. We are looking to start our own life and family together and feel like there's nothing we can do about what's going on anyway. I almost feel like family therapy is what needed, but I don't think there is a chance to get everyone on board with it. Not to make them start talking to each other, but just to get everyone on the same page. Should I look into it anyway? Should I just keep my nose out of this? and if so, how? I really don't want to make anyone more upset than they already are, but I think that is pretty much impossible now.