How to hack someones facebook account using greasemonkey

My last post (that account is my computer account, this one is my phone) lacked information because of the assumed subreddit rules but if you want the explanation:
But essentially, a player in their server was flirted with by a minor, and after being justifiably uncomfortable with that they thought of suggesting an 18+ server or if not that then at least to have roles to determine age to keep stuff like that from happening again. (because said minor assumed that they were also a minor, hence why they flirted, but after finding out they respectfully apologized and moved on).
The admin team immediately responded with hostility, being accusatory almost. In their staff chat they claimed that the player wanted an 18+ server to use it as dino tinder or to be nasty )which was not the case lot the intention). Then the server owner took the reins on the situation, and made a public announcement saying that if he caught anyone being anything but PG13 that they will be severely punished, and that being disgusting wasn’t allowed on their server.
The player who made the 18+ suggestion made a ticket in which the server owner themself took. They said that they were being misunderstood, that they didn’t want the 18+ server to be inappropriate in, they just wanted a separation so that if inappropriate jokes /did/ happen that minors would not be able to see or participate.
The server owner continuously pushed and forced the player to give them the minor’s username, and at the time of the ticket the player did NOT remember the username anymore, just the fact that it had happened. It got to the point where no matter how many times he told the server owner that he could not remember that it was obvious the owner was just not listening to anything he had to say. So he got understandably frustrated and told the owner to just drop it and that it was no big deal anymore and everyone should just continue with their life because he didn’t want to be stuck in the ticket anymore.
That player also had a spouse who was added into the ticket to give his feedback and feelings on things but he was ultimately ignored by the owner, so he got frustrated and closed/left the ticket before any resolution could be had. The second player has an issue with injustice, so he went into the server in-game and in global chat said that the admins blow things out of proportion and that they’re all faking DID (dissociative identity disorder, in which you have alters, and it forms as a result of horrific childhood abuse… the player actually is diagnosed with the disorder, whereas all of the admins have “fictives” of anime characters from animes that came out recently or games that came out recently which makes no sense when you get down into the nitty-gritty of researching this disorder. According to the player having fictives isn’t unheard of, but having a system consisting only of fictives of hot anime men is unlikely).
They banned him after that, him and his spouse. They labeled him a “fakeclaimer” (a supposed slur against people who widely self diagnose disorders online… hm). But what followed next was what shocked many people. In-game, the server owner themself began trash-talking the players he had just banned upon the players asking what happened. The owner went on the /heavily/ imply that the player and his spouse were p3d0s, or wanted to endanger minors in some way, stating things like “they basically begged me not to look into the incident with minor” “why are they so afraid of me looking into it” “something about that is so suspicious” and the other players online at the time also started slandering the banned players for no reason other than to kiss up to the admins, i’m assuming.
Multiple people ended up making tickets at this point, myself included, inquiring about what happened and informing the admin team that the gossip and spreading of hate and implying untruthful things about people, untruthful things that can /ruin/ lives, even, was uncalled for and very unbecoming as an admin team and that it was frightening that they would react in such an uncouth way to something like this occurring. I basically got the run-around, I was told that I was being disrespectful or aggressive when I was just trying to make my point, I was also told that the player basically deserved it and that the admin team doesn’t have to be silent about things like this (which is just bad practice). It also felt as though the owner was weaponizing incompetence, because it felt like they were purposely misunderstanding and misinterpreting my words to fit what he already thought of me (which was likely negatively because I was standing up for someone who he actively didn’t like).
I didn’t know at the time but my friend also made a ticket to tell them how disappointed she was with their behavior as someone who is an admin for an upcoming game, and gave them a pointer before she told them that she didn’t have anything else to say. The owner asked if she should be added to my ticket which I didn’t mind, so she was added. She ended up replying to the owner saying she didn’t have anything else to say, and that she was sure all the admins were working so hard (a direct quote from an admin). The owner asked her what she meant or for her to use tone tags and her being her she told them to take it however they wanted to and that she was going to be leaving (she was busy). The owner immediately took it as her being disrespectful and sarcastic and immediately banned her. They then turned on me (when I never said anything or did anything disrespectful personally) and told me that they didn’t appreciate the fact that my friend was disrespectful and would undermine the admin team’s hard work like that. I ended up telling them that I don’t control her at all and reminded them that it was their choice to take it negatively when she was just being nonchalant and nonaggressive. The owner snapped at me and told me that I was gaslighting him suddenly, and that he didn’t like that I was defending her. Defending… my literal friend. I told them I was going to defend my friend and they /immediately/ banned me.
So. TLDR: Astral Arcade is ran by a bunch of emotionally unstable people and apparently i’m not the only person to have had such a horrible experience here.

Hi there,
I wanted to take the time to write out a detailed explanation as to why some people might be hesitant donating to charitable organizations and why I personally would be in the 5% of people who would not follow Ludwig's recommendation of donating to Creators for Palestine. I'm also not here to be antagonistic towards others who donated but merely offer my perspective and decision making process as someone who has gathered knowledge about economics as well as psychology due to curiosity, specifically when it comes to the potential for corruption and ensuring money spent is used towards the expressed goals a charitable organization is expressing.
I also wanted to thank Ludwig for his respectful acknowledgement of the fact that not everyone would be prepared to donate like he did. I don't like how he's been treated for doing that and perhaps offering my perspective in detail will give some weight to that perspective and get people to empathize with both my position and his intent to validate others who see things differently.
World economics is something I became curious and interested in due to the 2008 financial collapse. It seemed mindboggling to me that various trusted institutions would engage in manipulative behavior on such a massive scale, something that many documentaries have covered as well as the movie The Big Short.
My interest did not stop there. A lesser publicized story regarding the HSBC also manifested between then and now that shares insights into how our modern economy operates and how that manipulative behavior, which has yet to be criminalized and legislated against, is leading to funding organizations who are harming the public at large.
There have been little amendments to accountability as a whole and charities, are also entities that are financial institutions that can be used for illicit purposes as they exist in this very space that lacks proper oversight and regulations due to what is permitted on the global economic stage which is the hiding of assets and the effortlessness of creating corporate entities out of thin air. We've seen evidence of this being reported as well when it comes to charitable organizations claiming they're doing something for a cause, only to funnel that money towards harmful and exploitative actors.
Basically, if you have the capital, you can set up a meeting with a law firm, assign a signatory, or even hire one through them and whatever happens with that account, is going to be completely untraceable and outside of public scrutiny. One of the reasons we now have this information is due to the tireless work of the ICIJ and their release of the Paradise Papers as well as other investigative works they undertook regarding the offshore economy.
Because of this, for me, a charitable organization needs to have an established record and a history of demonstrable humanitarian support, in order for me to sign up with them. Things like food banks for example, will have a long history of providing a population food. In fact, one of the best things you can do is give them money as they will be more effective when it comes to meeting demands vs having a surplus that is perishable and can expire.
When one looks at the PCRF, one can see that it was established in 1991. That means there's a longstanding record of their operations and effectiveness. However, when one looks at that record, one is met with some startling discoveries.
One such discovery is that its operational budget for 2021 was 13.7 million, which is money that didn't get to the children of Palestine. It took in 21.7 million, which means that only 7.3 million dollars of that money was supposedly provided to relief efforts. That's like 33%.
Then you have the instance of the US Treasury deciding to freeze its assets on suspicion that it was funneling money to Hamas, which we've seen in the current economic climate and through history, is a very real threat. And that's just the tip of the iceberg as you can see on the page that I linked.
Lets say for the sake of argument that these concerns are unfounded though and that the operational costs in 2021 were justified due to the challenges of getting aid to that area of the world and that the US Treasury was engaging in a complete witch hunt and everything else has some sort of reasonable explanation.
Why, would one require a fourth party, through Tiltify, in order to then give money to the PCRF? It does not make any logical sense whatsoever to me, especially when they are actively taking a cut of charitable donations as well. The PCRF has its own website with a fully functional donation page, why involve a fourth party in that donation chain?
Another thing I look at, are the people who are leading these charitable organizations.
Michael Wasserman, the founder of Tiltify, his educational background? Is in music. All of a sudden, after embarking into the field he went to school for, this guy makes a drastic career change, launching himself into the field of philanthropy and business. That seems odd to me.
All of these reasons combined are why when someone recommends that I donate to a charity that has shown the potential for corruptive practices, my response is along the lines of no thank you. It's not because I do not empathize with the events taking place in Palestine but it comes from a place of wanting that money to get to the people in need.
When it comes to the psychology at play Dr Ramani is an expert on narcissism and she estimates that about 1 in 6 people are narcissists.
These are individuals who have no empathy to speak of. They know right from wrong but ultimately, people are just things for them to manipulate and control. More often than not, these are the people who find themselves in positions of power and control because they spend a lifetime practicing the art of manipulation and deception so they can obtain these positions by any and all means necessary.
They would have absolutely no problems using an event like what's happening in Gaza in order to gather money for themselves with the illusion of helping others and using people's empathy against them who are looking to donate to a good cause. In fact, they think they're entitled to it.
Narcissists will often do this thing called breadcrumbing where they will give a breadcrumb to someone who is starving either literally or emotionally, in order to give the perception that they are doing something when in reality it's a manipulative self-serving behavior. This would also manifest in a business because we're hierarchical creatures, their presence would lead to them having ultimate power and control over that company, its environment and a business' behaviour would reflect the personality type of that leader.
Empaths, their antithesis? Would be the ones who would take the dollars received and ensure victims get the lions share whilst keeping operational costs down.
Mirjana Spoljaric Egger strikes me as such an individual. An empath. She actually went to Gaza to see and understand the environment she was tasking herself and the organization she represents to help survivors of a historical genocidal attack from Israel at the command of Netanyahu. It seems far more probable to me that funding the International Committee of the Red Cross will achieve the goal of providing relief to survivors in desperate need.
These are the reasons why I take great care choosing what charitable organization to engage with and promote and I think it's perfectly reasonable to do so.
I'm grateful that there are people like Ludwig who respects that however I still felt a need to justify this position due to recent events that made me feel like I was doing something wrong because he was made to feel like he was doing something wrong for simply acknowledging people like me.
And it felt kinda shitty to be honest.

So guys, today I made a tier list discussing which Pokemon are edible and which are not. I have researched this list to the best of my abilities, but I could be wrong.
https://imgur.com/gallery/how-edible-are-gen-1-pokemon-IjU6Q9w
Before we get started with this list, we will discuss the five categories. Inedible, Probably Edible, Exotic, Commonly Eaten, and Confirmed to be Eaten. I'm sure that "inedible" and "probably edible" need no explanation, but let's discuss the other three terms.

• "Exotic" means it CAN be eaten and it's SAFE to eat, but people will call you a weirdo for eating these just because it's "not normal".
• "Commonly Eaten" are the kinds of food that NORMIES will eat. Of COURSE you're gonna eat em' if you were asked to. Nobody's gonna say "no" to eating a BIRD!
• "Confirmed to be Eaten" means that no matter HOW WEIRD it is to eat, it CAN be eaten because it has been confirmed to be eaten from POKEMON THEMSELVES!

With those rules out of the way, LETSA GO!
Inedible

• Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, and Venasaur are based off of Toads and Poisonous Plants. When you combine the two, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that they can't be eaten.
• Weedle and Kakuna are poisonous caterpillars.
• Jigglypuff and Wigglytuff are balloons, which can not be eaten.
• Gloom and Veiliplume are weeds that steal nutrients.
• Paras and Parasect are LITERALLY parasites!
• Venonat... Venomoth... do I have to explain why the creatures with VENOM in the names can not be eaten...?
• Here's where things get tricky. At first, it's hard to tell WHAT the Abra line is. They might look like LIZARD FOXES at first, but upon closer inspection, these three actually USED to be HUMANS... AND they're in the HUMAN-LIKE Egg Group! Eating a person is not only immoral, but cannibalism can also make you sick. By all accounts, the Abra line is inedible.
• The same thing can be said about the Machop line. They are LITERALLY buff people, AND they are in the Human-Like Egg Group. They can NOT be eaten!
• Bellsprout is a poisonous flower, so it can't be eaten just yet. It has to mature in order for it to be eaten.
• The Geodude line are boulders, so they can't be eaten for obvious reasons.
• Diglet and Dugtrio are moles, which are not safe to eat.
• I don't need to explain why you can't eat magnets, right? Good.
• The Muk line are just... piles of poison... that's it...
• You literally cannot eat ghosts.
• As a snake, Onix would typically be edible... if it weren't made of boulders...
• Hypno and Drowzee look like animals at first glance, but they are actually in the Human-Like Egg Group.
• The Voltorb line are literally just bombs, and not the kind that you chew from the bubblegum machine.
• Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan are literally just FIGHTING PEOPLE, and they are in the Human-Like Egg Group! N-O-P-E!
• The Koffing line are poisonous gasses. I challenge you to find a person who will eat it.
• The Rhydon line is made of rocks, so how are you gonna eat them?
• Mr. Mime and Jynx are LITERALLY PEOPLE, and they're in the Human-Like egg group!
• Elekid and Elektabuzz are electric Onis. How are you gonna eat them?!
• Finally, we have Porygon. You will never be able to eat code in a krillion years.

Probably Edible

• Clefairy and Clefable are two Pokemon I hate with a burning passion, and as much as I would LOVE to eat them, it's difficult to tell if they're actually edible since you can't actually tell what it's supposed to be. A cat...? An Axolotl...? What happens if you eat it?
• The entire Nidoran line is made up of a mix of various edible mammals, which seems like an obvious thing to eat... except for one problem... they're made of poison... and you can't tell which parts are edible or not.
• Lickitung is another weird one for me. Tongues are DEFINITELY edible, but I can't tell what Lickitung is supposed to be, and the tongue itself is full of bacteria. I guess you can cook off the bacteria... it's also a monster... but... what even is it...?
• Ditto is the weirdest case of them all, since it can transform into anything. But... what happens if it transforms into a pineapple and then cut it? What if it transforms after you eat it? What if you eat a ditto on its own?

Exotic

• The Charmander line is based off of salamanders.
• The Squirtle line is based off of turtles. They are hard to find as food, but they are completely edible.
• Caterpillars, Cocoons, and Butterflies are COMPLETELY edible. I actually ATE a caterpillar before.
• Despite Weedle and Kakuna being poisonous, bees are COMPLETELY edible!
• Rattata and Raticate are mice, which are edible.
• If you can eat rattlesnakes in the real world, you can DEFINITELY eat Ekans and Arbok.
• Pikachu and Raichu are mice.
• Sandshrew and Sandslash are Pangolins. They may be endangered, but they CAN be eaten.
• Vulpix and Ninetales are foxes. As controversial as they are to eat, they are DEFINITELY edible.
• Zubat and Golbat are bats. They are a very controversial dish because they are rumored to be linked to several diseases, but that is yet to be confirmed.
• Cats are controversial, but they can still be eaten. Meowth from Team Rocket may be able to talk, but this is the exception and not the rule.
• Monkeys are eaten all over the world.
• Growlithe and Archanine are dogs. You can eat them, but try eating them around someone else without starting a fight. I dare you.
• The Polywag line are tadpoles, which are completely edible.
• Carnivorous Plants and Venus Flytraps are protected by law, but they are Venus Flytraps and DEFINITELY edible!
• Jellyfish are not only safe to eat, but they are also healthy for you as well.
• People don't like to eat horse meat, but it ain't gonna hurt you.
• Ostriches and Emus are quite the exotic treat!
• People don't like to eat Seals because they are cute, but you can still eat them.
• The Cubone Line is implied to be inspired by reptiles, and THEY can be eaten!
• Chansey is an Axolotl, and as much as I LOVE Axolotls, I still hate THIS thing! It's a good thing it can be eaten.
• Kangaroos are edible.
• Seahorses are edible too.
• It's hard to imagine a starfish as "edible", but you can still see them being consumed on the street.
• Syther is a praying mantis and Pinsir is a stag beetle. Both of these bugs are safe to eat.
• Eevee and its evolutions are based off of rabbits, cats, and foxes. Eating one would DEFINITELY be controversial, but not impossible.
• Mew and Mewtwo are based off of cats, and incredibly smart ones at that. However, not only are they not people, but they are also not even from this world. If you ask me, I'd say that eating a Mewtwo would do more good than harm, since Mewtwo is known to be evil. Eating Mew... uh... let's just say an angry mob would be at your door...
• I put Omastar in the wrong tier...
• Snorlax is a bear, and you can probably eat whatever's inside its stomach too! It's probably the most ethical Pokemon to eat, since it won't even feel the pain while it's asleep.
• Dratini and Dragonair are lizard snakes. They can be eaten.

Commonly Eaten

• The Pidgey line, the Psyduck line, the Spearow line, Magmar, and the legendary Bird Trio are all birds, and it wouldn't be controversial to eat them. Far'Fetched even comes with a LEEK, so you can have a complete meal with THAT!
• Oddish is an onion/raddish. Unlike its evolutions, Oddish is safe to eat.
• Clampearl and Cloyster are CLAMS! Krabby and Kingler are CRABS! Goldeen, Seaking, Magykarp, and Gyrados are all FISH! Omantyke, Omastar, Kabuto, and Kabutops are SHELLFISH! Seafood is even LESS controversial than regular meat!
• I put Aerodactyl in the wrong tier by mistake because not everyone likes to eat lizards, but it's still safe to eat.
• The Exeggute line are... well... EGGS!
• Taurus is a bull/cow.
• Tanglea is seaweed spaghetti, and is said to taste like mint.

CONFIRMED TO BE EATEN!

• Slowpoke Tail is confirmed to be a delicacy from Generation One, and Slowbro, while he doesn't have a tail, is still a mix between a lizard and a hippo.
• Lapras is confirmed to be hunted for meat.

Finally...
If there was only ONE Pokemon from Gen 1 I could eat, it would be Dragonite. Not only do I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT, but it would also be delicious to eat. Admit it, you'd wanna eat a Dragonite too.

Welcome to Reading The Big Book of Cyberpunk!
Each week we (u/FarragutCircle and u/fanny_bertram) will be reading 5-ish stories from Jared Shurin’s The Big Book of Cyberpunk, which includes a curated selection of cyberpunk stories written from 1950 to 2022! We’ll include synopses of the stories along with links to any legally available online versions we can find. Feel free to read along with us or just stop by and hear our thoughts about some cyberpunk stories to decide if any of them sound interesting to you.
Every once in a while, we reach out to people who have more insight, due to being fans of the author or have some additional context for the story. (Or we just tricked them into it.) So please welcome u/Kopratic who will be sharing their thoughts on "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale" by Philip K. Dick!
Section 4: Challenge
In our fourth and penultimate section, editor Jared Shurin highlights how cyberpunk looks at technology that creates harm when put into practice, and later cites Marshall McLuhan about artists as challengers. (Shurin really seems to like this McLuhan guy.) Amusingly there’s a footnote where he mentions litrpg in passing, though he says there’s no litrpg in this anthology)
“We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick (published 1966; also available in his collection Selected Stories of Philip K. Dick)
Quail’s desire to go to Mars leads him to a memory-implant company so he can remember going to Mars, but complications and revelations and twists ensue, hilariously.

• Special Guest Kopratic: So this guy really wants to go to Mars, but it’s pretty dang expensive. Fortunately, what’s not as expensive is paying a company to trick him into thinking he’s been to Mars by implanting false memories into his mind. Unfortunately, things go wrong, and before he writes up a scathing Yelp review, he gets his money back, his wife leaving him, and his life falling apart.
• It’s a story I’ve read before. Not this exact, specific story, but the bones of it. Virtually visiting another time or place. It’s never real, but they tend to beg the question: Do memories create reality? Maybe this particular story was one that inspired, even if indirectly, the others. Maybe it’s a trope that had been used before, and the author was just putting his own spin on it like the ones that came after.
• I did like it. I thought that it was annoying how the secretary was described as being topless in practically every scene she was in. It went from, “Oh in this society that’s a normal thing, and body paint is a sort of fashion item” to “...we get it.” It was a minor part of the story at least.
• The twists were pretty good, too. There’s a moment where you start to question things alongside the protagonist. Maybe the false memories did work. He’s not supposed to know they’re fake, but he does. But he also has things that can’t possibly be explained by ways of “implanted memories.” Or maybe they can. Even until the very end, the story keeps you guessing. It did a good job of keeping the tension alive.
• In a sense, the story asks the question, “What is reality?” and fits in nicely as an entry into the realm of cyberpunk.
  
• Farragut’s thoughts: We’ve read Dick before in Science Fiction. Between that story and this, if I hadn’t read two of his novels already, I would’ve thought Dick was a comedic SF writer because of how funny I’ve found his short fiction so far. I vaguely recall (ha!) having seen the movie Total Recall, but I’m not sure PKD has ever had a faithful adaptation of his works. Anyway, this is just a fun story—not as wild as the film, but just a plain fun examination of memory and reality.
  
• fanny’s thoughts: The editor points out that each filming of Total Recall gets worse and this is correct. I had never read the story and I did like it despite it being a story I have seen before. Dick did a great job of making the reader doubt memories and the reality for the character. There are a lot of careful details throughout the short story that play with this concept and add to the general confusion of what is real. The story is not the most amazing thing, but it is very well done and a bit twisty.
  

“Speed” by Misha (1988)
I think that Speed is looking for Speelyi-427 on behalf of a computer AI called Juno 888, but after that I’m lost.

• Farragut: We’ve read Misha before in Science Fiction. She’s a very cyberpunky type author, but I’ll be darned if I understand half of what’s going on here. There’s data as currency, there’s an all powerful computer named Juno 888 (I think?), there’s a car chase with a barbed-wire tripwire at neck level (ouch), there’s indigenous ghost dancers, and I had a hell of a time connecting the dots. It didn’t help that for the first couple pages I didn’t realize Speed was the character’s name, which made the story even more abstract at first. I absolutely know there’s someone out there who loves the crap out of experimental/transcendental stuff like this, but it wasn’t me.
  
• fanny: I was beyond confused reading this one. For half the story I thought the character was the computer, 888, but then I realized it was Speed. I am not sure that helped though. I feel like this was too experimental for me and it just missed the mark. The good part of this was the trading in data and the trying to steal data, which was an interesting technology application.
  

“Computer Friendly” by Eileen Gunn (1989; also available in her collection Stable Strategies and Others)
Elizabeth and other kids are tested, and while she passes with flying covers, her new friends might lose their lives unless she can figure out a way to help them in a world where the heavily computerized future uses real brains from people and dogs.

• Farragut: Gunn is an oft-nominated writer (including for this story), but ended up winning the 2005 Nebula for “Coming to Terms”. I really loved this bizarre future (she’ll play computer fetch with her dog when he has downtime from managing data traffic), and Elizabeth is an adorable character to follow as she navigates the shocking new revelations about her world. The help she gets from some of the obscure entities on the network is perfect, especially when they realize that their current world is a little too predictable these days. Highly recommended, especially for Elizabeth’s “hacking” methods.
  
• fanny: I loved this story and following Elizabeth through it all. Elizabeth is a fierce, determined little girl who doesn't want anything bad to happen to her friends. She goes to extremes for this and gets help from the weirdest sources within the network system. The net system, entities, and the world are so well thought out and carefully crafted. It felt fully realized which is unusual for me to find in a short story. Absolute loved this one.
  

“I Was a Teenage Genetic Engineer” by Nisi Shawl (1989)
The narrator is imprisoned for her reckless genetic engineering, making new incarnations of old gods.

• Farragut: Shawl is a multiple-award-winning author and has done a lot of work on promoting diversity in SF/F. A very short story (under a thousand words), it’s also got a very mythic and poetic tone to it, like a confession as a parable. Very evocative, with lots of classical allusions.
  
• fanny: Such a short story and such a unique concept. I liked that the main character made the entire Pantheon and unleashed the Greek gods back on the world. I found the description of creating Psyche the best part. This story is a bit experimental, but worked for me.
  

“The Gene Drain” by Lewis Shiner (1989)
A generation ship ends up right back on Earth, with disturbing and amusing differences between the two groups.

• Farragut: Shiner was a member of the Turkey City Writer’s Workshop which is considered a “cradle of cyberpunk”. This story was quite amusing, and you can see the differences between the overly-technological humans on Earth and the extremely weird worshippers of Johnny Carson. The author does a great job of encapsulating all the changes since the ship left in little throwaway lines, and the ending was both disturbing and funny.
  
• fanny: I found the whole premise quite ridiculous, but a nice way to show how too much technology can change society. The worshippers of Johnny Carson return to earth and manage to get a leader who has a bad experience with tech. The extremes he is willing to go to is both realistic and slightly disturbing. The ending is amusing, but it is serious too. I like how Shiner balanced absurdity with real society challenges. But also cult of Carson.
  

That’s it for this week! Check back the same time next week where we’ll be reading and discussing "Deep Eddy" by Bruce Sterling, "The Yuletide Cyberpunk Yarn, or Christmas_Eve-117.DIR" by Victor Pelevin, "Wonderama" by Bef, "comp.basilisk FAQ" by David Langford, and "Spider's Nest" by Myra Çakan.
Also posted on Bochord Online.

When I was 23, I was at my cousins wedding and my aunt got pretty drunk and mentioned how it was so nice that I was able to procreate or something weird like that. FYI I just became a father at the time. Anyways I questioned what she meant and she said “oh well atleast you didn’t have to adopt. I know it was hard on your parents” and I’m like “what do you mean” and she’s like “wait you know you’re adopted right?” And at that moment I was pretty shocked but also had to hold it together because I didn’t want her to feel terrible for being the one that spillled the beans to me, so I responded “oh yeah of course I knew that” and then I walked away to the bathroom and had a weird moment. Anyways I called my parents out into the lobby of the banquet and confronted them about it. My mom was hysterical and denying it at the same time (which I clearly knew she was lying) and my dad was kinda being a dick. Eventually I got annoyed and left the wedding.
A week later I went to my parents house and confronted them about it again and they had this whole story that it was a surrogate mother and she means nothing and blah blah blah. I kinda believed it and let it go for a few years, plus honestly I didn’t have time to really even care considering ering I was going through a separation with my sons mother and I had to focus on my son and not my own bullshit.
A few years later when I was 26, I talked to someone about surrogacy and they said that really wasn’t a big thing in the mid 80s because it was experimental and you had to have a lot of money to get that done. So the next time I saw my parents, I stayed overnight and after my mom went to bed, I confronted my dad about it. He still confirmed I came from a surrogate and they used my parents dna. So I let it go again.
Many years passed after this until the topic came up again. I was now 35 and the pandemic hit and I started thinking about all the weird shit involving this topic. Like why would my aunt use the word adopted, and my parents never had a lot of money to do surrogacy in the 80s. So I decided to do some research on how I can find original documents of my birth. I called a bunch of adoption agencies but they couldn’t give that info, but one lady told me I can file for a petition to receive my original birth certificate, and I did that. It took a few weeks but it finally came and it showed the biological mother’s name and no dad and my name was just a last name so I started to think maybe it was a surrogate.
I decided to dig deeper and look on white pages and then Facebook to find this person. I did find her and found out she was still local and I reached out to her. We eventually met up and she was there with her husband and another woman. The husband was not my father but a man from a later marriage and the other woman was my sister that’s a year older than me.
She told me that after she had my sister, her parents told her to stay away from boys but she obviously didn’t and got pregnant by her friend. At the time her friend was about to leave for college and she didn’t want to ruin his life with a baby so she told him to not worry about it and she was going to give it up anyways. Eventually her parents found out she was pregnant and kicked her out of the house. She was homeless living under a bridge with her 1 year old daughter and me inside the womb. She worked at Arby’s and had a friend watch the 1 year old the entire time. One day she got hit by a car while riding her bike to Arby’s and the driver took off but the next car pulled over and it was her brothers friend and he helped her. Once he found out she was homeless he offered to let her live with him. That man eventually became her husband.
During the next few months she was trying to figure out adoption for me and her friend worked at a diner with a woman who knew a woman that was looking to adopt (my mom). Eventually they set up a private adoption. Shortly after I was born and due to the c section my biological mother had to stay in the hospital so she got to spend 10 days with me. After that was done, I went home to my parents who adopted me.
Upon learning of all of this I was pretty shocked but also found it kinda funny cause crazy things are always happening in my life. Never a dull moment! I also discovered that my biological mother has stage 4 lung cancer so I thought I might as well try to get to know her while she’s around. From there i built a strong relationship with my sister and we are very tight. I tried getting to know my biological mother more but she eventually got weirded out and cut me off. She was kind of a bitch about it and my sister told me she can’t stand her mother and she’s been a bitch her whole life, so that kinda made me feel better and feel grateful for my upbringing.
I also did research on the person who is my father and I found out college didn’t do him well and he eventually became a big con man that fucked over his family and wife and then later on became a heroin addict that developed a lot of mental health issues and he is currently homeless in Seattle.
So here I am today at 38. I still have not told my parents that I know because I don’t want them to get hurt. My mom had a big fear of me leaving. She always gets so weird anytime I have a good time with my friends parents or my girlfriends parents. It’s a strange jealously.
So now I’m at this point where I need to tell them because I am getting married in a few months and my sister is coming to the wedding.
Part of me wants to leave out that I met my biological mother because she isn’t in my life and doesn’t want to be so what’s the point? I just want to skip that part and mention only that I met my sister and have no intention of knowing the mother and the sister doesn’t really have a relationship with her either (which is partially true). Regardless I know my adoptee mom is going to get upset. My dad might be an asshole but that’s usual behavior of him. I just know mentioning that I know the biological mother would hurt my mom even more. I’m not even mad at my parents to lying to me honestly. I understand they were trying to be protective, but I seeked this info because of wanting to know medical history and what not. Plus it’s just interesting.
Anyways I’m planning to talk to my parents tonight.. Let me know your thoughts.

My experience with Michelin in a complicated one. Having gone to one, two, and three Michelin star restaurants across the globe, I've seen Michelin do some great things for restaurants, but I've also seen them bring the demise of others.
Because it's quite apparent what good things come from being highlighted by Michelin, this post is more focused on some of my criticisms of the Michelin guide, and why I think the current structure of Michelin should be changed.
Maintaining "Michelin's definition" of the gold standard..
There have been a ton of amazing restaurants given a one star review. Restaurants don't even need to be "fine dining" to be given a Michelin star, as highlighted by some of the cheap eats that have received a one star review.
But a one star review, can at times, be a curse for restaurants. Often, restaurants receive one star reviews got there by showcasing there strengths. A passion for food and creativity, a desire to share culture or tradition, or an expression of a personal brand of art.
When a restaurant receives a one star review, two things happen.

1. They begin to get huge influx of customers. Initially.
2. They start to be compared to other one star restaurants, sometimes even two or three star.

The majority of the time, when a restaurant receives a one star review, the rapidly get a ton of customers wanting to try them. And in just a few months, they start to raise prices. Because money can change people.
And eventually, they start to act as more of a "tourist attraction", and start to lose the original loyal clientele that brought them to where they were in the first place.
Secondly, they begin to compare themselves to the standards of other "higher" Michelin star restaurants.
And that typically means focusing more on a particular brand of fine dining. Hyper-attentive service, an overuse of "micro complex food"(emulsions, purees, colorful vegetation). Just to name a few.
I've seen this unfortunately happen time and time again.
If your customers wanted to go to a Eleven Madison Park, they'd travel to New York. But don't turn your restaurant into a chain of fine dining. You'll start to lose the allure, and it starts to feel like the routine of Mcdonalds or Capital Grille.
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To preface this post, I want to give the disclaimer that like many things, there is not a black and white answer the question. I'm writing this as an experienced tech professional, and the information provided is based on opinion.
To start with. A little bit of history..
The golden age of software engineering(and similar jobs) is over. At least for the next 5 - 10 years. I don't think this is an unpopular opinion. The reason why between the years of 2010 - 2022, these jobs exploded, was because of the boom of the internet for commercial and personal use.
This is different from the dotcom boom of 2000s, where the internet was just starting and most of the products being created were for basic things like: putting banking on the internet, putting videos on the internet, etc.
The boom in the 2010s was related to the widespread popularity of commercial and personal products. Things like Uber, Spotify, and Salesforce. With the sudden increased usage of the digital world, there were MILLIONS of companies rushing to create digital products.
However, we're starting to see the rise and fall of some of these products, millions of startups failings, and less VC funding. In case you don't know, VC stands for Venture Capital, which are basically investment companies that give money to other companies to help them grow and develop, in return for partial ownership of the company.
As the industry began to mature, successful companies started to emerge, and many more started to fail.
The present day..
Software engineering and like jobs will continue to be important, and there will be a high demands for these engineers. Nearly every company will still need a website, a place to manage their data, and people to manage their hardware. BUT.. the basic technologies they need to run their company will become more efficient. AND there will be less research and innovation because the a lot of the trial and error already occurred.
We're in a weird spot where the demand for workers is now decreasing from it's recent peaks, and the supply of workers is now increasing because of how all the benefits of being a software engineer in the past decade.
This has really unfortunate consequences for any recent graduates or others trying to break into the tech field. There are WAY more beginning career people than jobs available. Which is made even worse with the amount of layoffs there are, where mid-level employees are now having to settle for entry level jobs.
What can we do?
I have two pieces of advice for people interested in the topic, or wanting to break into the field but can't. Try breaking in from a adjacent field, where you can get some exposure to tech. Things that data entry, analytics(this can be finance, supply chain etc). Then try to learn as much as you can from the tech people at your company.
The second piece of advice. Go into a different field. Software engineering is not for everyone. You have to learn and understand some relatively complex topics, and it's becoming harder and harder to be competitive in the industry. Healthcare, supply chain, and many other industries are booming right now.
Understanding history, you can see that certain industries will rise and fall. For the near future, technology might be one of the harder careers to break into. Something like healthcare would be that's expected to grow exponentially. The average population of the world is getting older, as less and less people are wanting to have kids. There will be higher demand for healthcare professionals and healthcare technology.
Do your best to review and understand these trends, and hopefully you can create a good life and career. Best of luck!
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Wanted to share my top 5 recommendation list. Having lived here for about 30 years, here are the best spots to visit, whether you're traveling or a local. I've included a range of options from cheap eats to fine dining.

1. Chef Tally's - I've binge eaten at least 50+ jamaican restaurants, and while this isn't your typical traditional jamaican spot, this is hands down one of my favorite places in south Florida. I dream about the chicken here. It's always a candidate for my "what should I eat this weekend" thoughts.
2. Mila Sunday Brunch - $95 for all you can eat cinco jota jamon iberico, black caviar, and a ton of other creatively prepared dishes. I've had a few of the other brunchs in south florida, like edge, novikov, etc. but this one gets the thumbs up because they actually have more unique spreads and appetizers. Pro tip, they have a cheese wheel pasta and mojito station outside. Did I mention the price includes unlimited champagne and rose?
3. Palacio de los Jugos - this is a staple of south florida cuisine. I might get some flack for having this on my list, but amongst all the cuban and latin spots I've been to across Hialeah and Miami, I always find myself back here grabbing a meal for like $7 and juice for $3!
4. Stubborn Seed - I haven't gone since they've gotten their Michelin Star, but I used to frequent this place. What sets the tasting menu at stubborn seed apart in my opinion is the almagamation of dish pacing, food sourcing/creativity, and lineup of ingredients. I don't think there's a singular dish that really sets this restaurant apart from the rest of the modern fine dining options, but more so a extremely well presented and curated dining experience.
5. Anita Gelato. This spot recently opened in Aventura coming from NYC. It's not a super traditional italian/argentiniam gelato, but the flavor combinations are the best I've ever had. And it's not too sweet. My favorite ice cream/froyo/gelato spot amongst the hundreds I've been to in SoFlo.

Honorable mention goes to Kaeru Sushi for bringing great quality japanese food for an affordable price.* A little extra. South Florida has EXCELLENT latin american food(peruvian, argentinian, columbian, etc.), mediterranean, israeli/jewish delis, italian, caribbean, and much more. I highly recommend checking out any of the above cuisines. DM me if you'd like any specific recommendations.
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So I (32m) have been married to my wife (31f) for 14 years, 7 months, and 11 days. We've had our rough patches in the past. Before I deployed she threw her wedding ring at me 3 times saying she was done. She saw a snapchat with a girls name on it, and immediately assumed I was cheating. In all sincerity that girl was a classmate and we exchanged notes that way, plus the occasional how are you regular stuff. My wife decided it was time for a divorce so she packed up and left. Told me to sell the house and split the profits, which I did. I go on deployment the whole time maintaining constant contact with her and the kids (3 of them). The whole time. She used this time to build a connection with a coworker and have sex at work in the back room. Then she connected emotionally with another guy and slept with him 3 or 4 times according to her. Finally there was a one night stand with someone that I don't know about. She never told me about any of this. When I got back we decided to make things work and focus on us. Fast forward to a few weeks ago, we were going on our weekly date and I see a guys name on her phone as I'm driving. She quickly tilted the phone so that I couldn't see the messages. I thinking there was no way she was cheating on me, assumed this was a coworker friend. Two nights ago I cooked dinner for the family. After finishing up, she asked if I wanted ice cream to which I said yes. She doordashed it, and asked me to pick what I wanted using her phone while she went to the bathroom. I had an inkling to check her messages which I did end up doing. Here is the same guy who had been messaging her in the car. They had planned to go hiking together, he called her his favorite person, and then she sent emojis which included the finger in the hole. I gave her her phone back and calmly asked how long she had been cheating on me. She denied doing anything and asked where this was coming from. I told her about the messages and she was defensive about me looking through her phone. She later admitted after hours of arguing, that this is a coworker whom she flirted with at her old job while I was deployed. They had been messaging and suddenly became flirty again. She said he was the only guy she's ever talked to like that. She decided to leave the kids at home and send me vague messages insinuating she was going to hurt herself. She has done this in the past to the point where she was hospitalized for a week. She drove up the mountain and I followed her to make sure it wasn't a real threat to hurt herself. She promised me she wouldn't do anything so I drove back home to be with the kids. I had to calm down and took a bath. She snuck inside the house and put one of my guns on my bed saying she left it there. I went looking for her but she went to her dad's house to spend the night due to being ashamed of her actions. That was three days ago. Yesterday I decided to read her journal to see how long it had been going on. And boom, I discovered there was another guy whom she "fell in love with after 3 days". This was the guy she slept with multiple times. She came clean about all 3 guys she slept with during our break time. So I asked to see her phone and she allowed me to look at it. Then I found out she had a reddit account where she would post nudes and message guys. The guys would send NSFW pics back and they would sext. She claims it was only attention seeking behavior, but I found out she had a full on conversation with a guy whom she gave her snapchat to. They exchanged pics and would sext back and forth. She swears up and down she will never do anything like this again. My question to the community: what do I do? I love her to death and have spent a good majority of my life with her. I just don't know what to do. Sorry for the long explanation, please help.
TLDR; My wife of 14 years cheated on me during a separation but continued those relationships as friendships. She then posted nudes online and chatted with guys. Do I continue the marriage?

I deleted my other facebook account like 5yrs ago, but I tried to search my name just to find that the account is still there but I can't access it again. All credentials I used to use then are not working but my uploaded pictures, profile details all are exactly mine. How do I get rid of this account cause somehow it seems someone made a copy of every data I ever posted.

Number 1
AS AN APE I ask you do you seriously believe that a guy like him who is
a) so attached to this stock and its history b) so popular with his followers c) having a great reputation
would sell his account knowing that it is carefully followed by the apes for any movement and allow his reputation to be tainted and his followers to be mislead by someone doing shenanigans with his account? And for what ? To make some bucks on the side when we all know he made more than enough to could be bothered ?
Number 2
AS A LAWYER I tell you beside the reasons listed above this is absolutely unthinkable. A guy with his history related to the stock and his popularity in the community is considered a person of public interest who has the ability of influencing public opinion (not saying that he does just telling you the legal definition). As such he has an increased responsibility with regard to his actions and expressions as we saw when he had to appear at the congress hearing and as we can regularly experience when influencers and popular people get in trouble due to their association with a product. No need to mention that in terms of financial products and investments the bar is particularly high.
Therefore, if DFV would sell his account and someone uses it for shenanigans he would still be held liable given his responsibility to avoid anything which could have a misleading or detrimental impact.
When selling your popular X account with a big number of loyal followers who rely on it being genuine you would be still held accountable for any misuse or improper actions caused by Tweets of the new owner as it would be within your responsibility to prevent this. Otherwise someone could simply officially sell his account and still have messages posted through it and when trouble occur he just says “oh it wasn’t me , look I sold the account a week before”. Even for the smoothest ape it should be clear that’s not how it works and that would be too easy for an out of jail card.
Obviously I don’t know anything and everything is possible but beside the arguments laid out in terms of DFVs personality and the lack of motif he has legal advisors and would be way too smart to make a stupid mistake like that.
So I hope the above helps to ease the mind of some nervous apes and calls FUD where FUD is due.

This is currently still happening and ongoing so I may have to update if I can but this started a few weeks ago during computer class.
This is gonna be a pretty long post and my English is not the best so I apologize in advance. This started when I realized that a girl's (Let's call her "L") google account was still logged in in the school computer that I always use, One of the girls in my class, Let's call her "Justina" (not her real name), jokingly told me to go through the L's messages. Now this is where I may be the asshole. When Justina suggested that to me, I decided "why not? I'm sure it's not that bad, right?" but man was I wrong... Not only did I find out that L watched Pornbut I also found out that L has been spreading gossip and lies about my class (Hating on Justina all because her boyfriend had a crush on Justina before L, Making fun of other student's looks, Saying that the girls in my class were gossiping about their friend group when we didn't even think they were relevant enough to remember, Gave 2 of my classmates a nickname that was obviously targeted to make fun of their appearance, talking about my class's issue as if it's their only hobby, making fun of my classmates skills in certain sports) and for some reason hates most of the girls in my class. I also found out that L's friends also had some sort of hatred towards a couple girls in my class, calling the girls in my class a bunch of attention seekers (or in their terms, a Pick me). Now, just a reminder that my entire class acts like a whole entire group, We are all friends and close to one another. I took pictures of every single gossip and lies that were sent in L's messages and sent it to my class's groupchat and messaged them if they knew anything about this, and they were as shocked as me.
After a quick discussion with a few of my classmates, We came up a plan where we would make an alt and make it seem like one of their friends have snitched on L and her friend group. The Plan was for Justina to make an alt account (Which we'll call as "Snitch") and fake a conversation with me and basically just tell me everything that we found in the school computer that had L's account logged in then I'd take screenshots of that conversation. then Justina would go back to her original account and then fake another conversation with me where I show Justina the messages the "SNITCH" sent, then all Justina had to do was to act as if she was all shock and upset but not enough for it to look fake. Once, all that was done, We would then Message 3 of L's friends and ask them if them if the "SNITCH"'s allegations were true.
We did just that, and all 3 of L's friends were surprisingly extremely honest, and did not deny anything that the "Snitch" has sent. We got them to admit everything, From them gossiping and spreading lies about my class, to them giving us reasons as to why they hate us for. Something even more shocking that I've learnt is that L has NO GOOD FRIENDS, after they've admitted everything to me and Justina, they then proceeded to tell me that they in fact DID NOT like L at all, and even continued by telling us why they hate her and telling us a few of L's secrets and issues in school. Before you ask, Yes, eventually someone told L that all her gossips and lies has been leaked to me and my class. L is now anxious to go to school, and is obviously trying to avoid my classmates that's she's gossiped and spread lies about, how do I know that she doesn't wanna go to school and that L is avoiding my classmates? L's own friend messaged me and told me

i can hear my ex next door fucking at night and i used to flip the fuck out, and I’m trying to keep my composure because I don’t want to cause fear but i recently found out they intended to be loud so I could hear them. I have a screenshot from a secret tiktok profile they have (they blocked me on my main account so I didn’t find it before we even broke up) where they admit to making sure I see or hear whoever they had over and would complain about me all the time without seeing why I felt the ways I did even though I was telling them and also asking them to communicate with me.
I would freak out about it because I had a feeling that it was on purpose, but I never expected to actually see it in stone that they were doing it to provoke me. And then they got mad at me for having a reaction. It was already a brutal relationship mostly because of their casual cruelty and tendency to show mixed signals towards me and also take everything their friends (who don’t even know me) would say at face value. It feels like I never got a proper chance to be my own person.
Now they’re friends all think I’m evil but I tried so hard with them, and even after I ended things because of a “half truth” they told which I still don’t even believe is even half true, they completely blocked me out. They complain to the internet about how I don’t love them but every time I was the only one trying to work things out.
I move out in a few months, and I know it might just come down to ignoring it, but the mix of their intentional maliciousness as well as the fuck that I did and sadly still do love them makes it so hard. I’ve been so depressed since everything and I don’t know how to describe how traumatic it is to hear something like that and then also find out it’s on purpose. Or at the very least they don’t care if I hear it. I could go on forever about this but I need to figure out how to handle hearing that kind of shit without losing my mind. I was getting better, but recently for someone reason (I guess after finding that account) it makes me guilty and I really miss them but also I feel so disgusted and angry and like at the end of the day our relationship became content.

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enterprise, entertain, entertainment, entire, entirely, entrance, entry, environment, environmental, episode, equal, equally, equipment, equivalent, era, error, escape, especially, essay, essential, essentially, establish, establishment, estate, estimate, etc, ethics, ethnic, European, evaluate, evaluation, evening, event, eventually, ever, every, everybody, everyday, everyone, everything, everywhere, evidence, evolution, evolve, exact, exactly, exam, examination, examine, example, exceed, excellent, except, exception, exchange, exciting, executive, exercise, exhibit, exhibition, exist, existence, existing, expand, expansion, expect, expectation, expense, expensive, experience, experiment, expert, explain, explanation, explode, explore, explosion, expose, exposure, express, expression, extend, extension, extensive, extent, external, extra, extraordinary, extreme, extremely, eye, fabric, face, facility, fact, factor, factory, faculty, fade, fail, failure, fair, fairly, faith, fall, false, familiar, family, famous, fan, fantasy, far, farm, farmer, fashion, fast, fat, fate, father, fault, favor, favorite, fear, feature, federal, fee, feed, feel, feeling, fellow, female, fence, festival, few, fewer, fiber, fiction, field, fifteen, fifth, fifty, fight, fighter, fighting, figure, file, fill, film, final, finally, finance, financial, find, finding, fine, finger, finish, fire, firm, first, fish, fishing, fit, fitness, five, fix, flag, flame, flat, flavor, flee, flesh, flight, float, floor, flow, flower, fly, focus, folk, follow, following, food, foot, football, for, force, foreign, forest, forever, forget, form, formal, formation, former, formula, forth, fortune, forward, found, foundation, founder, four, fourth, frame, framework, free, freedom, freeze, French, frequency, frequent, frequently, fresh, friend, friendly, friendship, from, front, fruit, frustration, fuel, fulfill, full, fully, fun, function, fund, fundamental, funding, funeral, funny, furniture, furthermore, future, gain, galaxy, gallery, game, gang, gap, garage, garden, garlic, gas, gate, gather, gay, gaze, gear, gender, gene, general, generally, generate, generation, genetic, gentleman, gently, German, gesture, get, ghost, giant, gift, gifted, girl, girlfriend, give, given, glad, glance, glass, global, glove, go, goal, God, gold, golden, golf, good, govern, government, governor, grab, grace, grade, gradually, graduate, grain, grand, grandmother, grant, grass, grave, gray, great, green, grocery, ground, group, grow, growing, growth, guarantee, guard, guess, guest, guide, guideline, guilty, gun, guy, habit, habitat, hair, half, hall, hand, handful, handle, hang, happen, happy, harbor, hard, hardly, hat, hate, have, he, head, headline, headquarters, health, healthy, hear, hearing, heart, heat, heaven, heavily, heavy, heel, height, helicopter, hell, hello, help, helpful, hence, her, herb, here, heritage, hero, herself, hey, hi, hide, high, highlight, highly, highway, hill, him, himself, hip, hire, his, historic, historical, history, hit, hold, hole, holiday, holy, home, homeless, honest, honey, honor, hope, horizon, horror, horse, hospital, host, hot, hotel, hour, house, household, housing, how, however, huge, human, humor, hundred, hungry, hunter, hunting, hurt, husband, hypothesis, ice, idea, ideal, identification, identify, identity, ignore, ill, illegal, illness, illustrate, image, imagination, imagine, immediate, immediately, immigrant, immigration, impact, implement, implication, imply, importance, important, impose, impossible, impress, impression, impressive, improve, improvement, incentive, incident, include, including, income, incorporate, increase, increased, increasingly, incredible, indeed, independence, independent, index, indicate, indication, individual, industrial, industry, infant, infection, inflation, influence, inform, information, ingredient, initial, initially, initiative, injury, inner, innocent, inquiry, inside, insight, insist, inspire, install, instance, instead, institute, institution, institutional, instruction, instructor, instrument, insurance, intellectual, intelligence, intend, intense, intensity, intention, interaction, interest, interested, interesting, internal, international, Internet, interpret, interpretation, intervention, interview, introduce, introduction, invasion, invest, investigation, investigator, investment, investor, invite, involve, involved, involvement, Iraqi, Irish, iron, Islamic, island, Israeli, issue, it, Italian, item, its, itself, jacket, jail, Japanese, jet, Jew, Jewish, job, join, joint, joke, journal, journalist, journey, joy, judge, judgment, juice, jump, junior, jury, just, justice, justify, keep, key, kick, kid, kill, killer, killing, kind, king, kiss, kitchen, knee, knife, knock, know, knowledge, lab, label, labor, laboratory, lack, lady, lake, land, landscape, language, lap, large, largely, last, late, later, Latin, latter, laugh, launch, law, lawsuit, lawyer, lay, layer, lead, leader, leadership, leading, leaf, league, lean, learn, learning, least, leather, leave, left, leg, legacy, legal, legend, legislation, legislative, legislator, legitimate, lemon, length, less, lesson, let, letter, level, liberal, library, license, lie, life, lifestyle, lifetime, lift, light, like, likely, limit, limitation, limited, line, link, lip, list, listen, literary, literature, little, live, living, load, loan, local, locate, location, lock, long, long-term, look, loose, lose, loss, lost, lot, lots, loud, love, lovely, lover, low, lower, luck, lucky, lunch, luxury, machine, mad, magazine, mail, main, mainly, maintain, maintenance, major, majority, make, maker, makeup, male, mall, man, manage, management, manager, manner, manufacturer, manufacturing, many, map, margin, mark, market, marketing, marriage, married, marry, mask, mass, massive, master, match, material, math, matter, may, maybe, mayor, me, meal, mean, meaning, meanwhile, measure, measurement, meat, mechanism, media, medical, medication, medicine, medium, meet, meeting, member, membership, memory, mental, mention, menu, mere, merely, mess, message, metal, meter, method, Mexican, middle, might, military, milk, million, mind, mine, minister, minor, minority, minute, miracle, mirror, miss, missile, mission, mistake, mix, mixture, mm-hmm, mode, model, moderate, modern, modest, mom, moment, money, monitor, month, mood, moon, moral, more, moreover, morning, mortgage, most, mostly, mother, motion, motivation, motor, mountain, mouse, mouth, move, movement, movie, Mr, Mrs, Ms, much, multiple, murder, muscle, museum, music, musical, musician, Muslim, must, mutual, my, myself, mystery, myth, naked, name, narrative, narrow, nation, national, native, natural, naturally, nature, near, nearby, nearly, necessarily, necessary, neck, need, negative, negotiate, negotiation, neighbor, neighborhood, neither, nerve, nervous, net, network, never, nevertheless, new, newly, news, newspaper, next, nice, night, nine, no, nobody, nod, noise, nomination, nominee, none, nonetheless, nor, normal, normally, north, northern, nose, not, note, nothing, notice, notion, novel, now, nowhere, nuclear, number, numerous, nurse, nut, object, objective, obligation, observation, observe, observer, obtain, obvious, obviously, occasion, occasionally, occupation, occupy, occur, ocean, odd, odds, of, off, offense, offensive, offer, office, officer, official, often, oh, oil, okay, old, Olympic, on, once, one, ongoing, onion, online, only, onto, open, opening, operate, operating, operation, operator, opinion, opponent, opportunity, oppose, opposed, opposite, opposition, option, or, orange, order, ordinary, organic, organization, organize, orientation, origin, original, originally, other, others, otherwise, ought, our, ours, ourselves, out, outcome, outside, oven, over, overall, overcome, overlook, owe, own, owner, pace, pack, package, page, pain, painful, paint, painter, painting, pair, pale, Palestinian, palm, pan, panel, panic, pant, paper, paragraph, parent, park, parking, part, participant, participate, participation, particle, particular, particularly, partly, partner, partnership, party, pass, passage, passenger, passion, past, patch, path, patient, pattern, pause, pay, payment, PC, peace, peak, peer, pen, penalty, people, pepper, per, perceive, percentage, perception, perfect, perfectly, perform, performance, perhaps, period, permanent, permission, permit, person, personal, personality, personally, personnel, perspective, persuade, pet, phase, phenomenon, philosophy, phone, photo, photographer, phrase, physical, physically, physician, piano, pick, picture, pie, piece, pile, pilot, pine, pink, pipe, pitch, place, plan, plane, planet, planning, plant, plastic, plate, platform, play, player, please, pleasure, plenty, plot, plus, PM, pocket, poem, poet, poetry, point, police, policy, political, politically, politician, politics, poll, pollution, pool, poor, pop, popular, population, porch, port, portion, portrait, portray, pose, position, positive, possess, possession, possibility, possible, possibly, post, pot, potato, potential, potentially, pound, pour, poverty, powder, power, powerful, practical, practice, prayer, preach, precisely, predict, prediction, prefer, preference, pregnancy, pregnant, preparation, prepare, prescription, presence, present, presentation, preserve, president, presidential, press, pressure, pretend, pretty, prevent, previous, previously, price, pride, priest, primarily, primary, prime, principal, principle, print, prior, priority, prison, prisoner, privacy, private, probably, problem, procedure, proceed, process, processing, processor, proclaim, produce, producer, product, production, profession, professional, professor, profile, profit, program, progress, progressive, project, prominent, promise, promote, prompt, proof, proper, properly, property, proportion, proposal, propose, prosecutor, prospect, protect, protection, protein, protest, proud, prove, provide, provider, province, provision, psychological, psychology, public, publication, publicity, publish, publisher, pull, punishment, purchase, pure, purpose, pursue, push, put, qualify, quality, quarter, quarterback, quarterly, queen, quest, question, quick, quickly, quiet, quietly, quit, quite, quote, race, racial, radiation, radical, radio, rail, rain, raise, range, rank, rapid, rapidly, rare, rarely, rate, rather, rating, ratio, raw, reach, react, reaction, reader, reading, ready, real, reality, realize, really, reason, reasonable, recall, receive, recent, recently, reception, recipe, recipient, recognition, recognize, recommend, recommendation, record, recording, recover, recovery, recruit, red, reduce, reduction, refer, reference, reflect, reflection, reform, refugee, refuse, regard, regarding, regardless, regime, region, regional, register, regular, regularly, regulate, regulation, regulator, reinforce, reject, relate, relation, relationship, relative, relatively, relax, release, relevant, relief, religion, religious, rely, remain, remaining, remarkable, remember, remind, remote, remove, repeat, repeatedly, replace, replacement, reply, report, reporter, represent, representation, representative, Republican, reputation, request, require, requirement, research, researcher, resemble, reservation, resident, residential, resign, resist, resistance, resolution, resolve, resort, resource, respect, respond, response, responsibility, responsible, rest, restaurant, restore, restriction, result, retain, retire, retirement, return, reveal, revenue, review, revolution, rhythm, rice, rich, rid, ride, rifle, right, ring, rise, risk, river, road, rock, role, roll, romantic, roof, room, root, rope, rose, rough, roughly, round, route, routine, row, rub, rubber, rude, ruin, rule, run, running, rural, rush, Russian, sacred, sad, safe, safety, sake, salad, salary, sale, sales, salt, same, sample, sanction, sand, satellite, satisfaction, satisfied, satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

Disclaimer: These tips are from personal experience from earning my first 10k. and are not officially endorsed by Fiverr. Take them with a grain of salt.
I am going to share tips that anyone can take advantage off. No matter what category.
Why Choose Fiverr?
Fiverr is an excellent platform for careers in design, video editing, interior design, voice-over work, and web development. I am not so sure about other career paths. On Fiverr you have an opportunity to put your services out there for anyone to reach out. You get exposure to many clients with many different real world problems that you get to solve.
The Drawbacks of Fiverr
While Fiverr can be a great starting point, it's not ideal for long-term reliance. As a freelancer, you may feel like an employee without the benefits. Fiverr’s policies tend to favor customers, which can sometimes result in you losing payments. I have experienced many cases where you have done the job, but customer claims they don't like it and Fiverr gives them a full refund on the project so they get away with your work and you don't get paid. Although I must say these cases are rare because you learn to avoid sketchy clients like this as you gain more experience on Fiverr. I will share tips on how to avoid sketchy clients on Fiverr too.
Getting Started: The Right Way
But first, i will talk about how to actually start earning on Fiverr. I will be quite frank with you. You could have setup the best looking profile on Fiverr and go about making no orders for the rest of 4-6 months on that account. If you are just going to follow the tips provided by the official Fiverr, the chances are not going to get any luck finding customers. Here's my tip. Reach out to your closes connections. Let's say your uncle, aunts, friends or family to provide your service that you are offering on Fiverr for them. Share them the link to your profile and ask them to place an order with you. Creating an attractive profile is just the beginning. Here's a strategy that worked for me:
Leverage Your Network: Start by reaching out to friends, family, and acquaintances. Share your Fiverr profile with them and ask if they need any services you offer. Encourage them to place orders through Fiverr to help you get initial traction.
Make It Legit: Ensure the transactions appear legitimate by conducting all interactions on Fiverr. If you’re offering logo design, ask if they genuinely need a logo and handle the entire process professionally.
This is because in a case Fiverr checks your profile, they will know the context and know that your order was legit and not an attempt to boost your profile score.
Now talking about profile score, Fiverr has a like a metric system for every account (they do not share this with you). The more orders you get on the platform the higher the score goes. Things like getting good reviews, your conversion rate, message response time all help. So as a new account, you want to boost this "score" as high as possible. The easiest way is to get orders and leads from your social circle. Round about 3 orders is good enough for someone which a decent looking profile and portfolio to show for. However, try to get like 5 for good measure.
Once that's done, you wait about 1-2 days for your account to start getting organic exposure. Here is where you will start actually earning on Fiverr. Now I am going to share with you how to actually talk to your prospective clients. First rule, don't look desperate. Second rule be desperate. What do i mean by this? I am going to assume you have done the things I have said earlier and now your account is starting to take off. You don't have much time until that fame and glory dies out and your organic exposure goes back to zero. So you are going to have to start "hunting" and putting in the work to get clients.
How to Engage Clients Effectively
Once your profile gains some visibility, effective communication becomes crucial. You will need that as a fairly new account. When a customer approaches you, its important to respond quickly to them. They aren't going to wait all day for you to respond because they don't know you, they don't care much about you and they got other "sellers" as options. So get them to know you, and get to know them. I cannot emphasize this enough:

1. Be Human: Most sellers respond like robots. Stand out by being personable and engaging. Respond quickly and professionally, but let your personality shine through.
2. Show Genuine Interest: Try to use these when you see fit- your goal here is to get them to talk to you and subconsciously make them think they have already chosen you for the job:
   • "I could get around working on your project, but could you tell me more about this? [ ask a question about part of their project brief ]"
   • "I could finish your project within [give them a delivery time frame that they would probably accept] , would you be okay with that?"

Read more...

There's this guy I found on a dating app. He is a law student and we instantly clicked. The conversation we had made sense not the typical dumb things in dating apps. Eventually, the dating app was kinda hassle so we exchanged ig usernames. We both used dump accounts. We had conversations without knowing our real names. Half a year passed by, we still don't know each other's real names. We just shared how our days went by. Until my birthday, June. He told me he has this friend who lives near our municipality so I asked about him. He gave me his friend's name and I sent a friend request on facebook. Wherein he sent me a screenshot of their conversation (I saw his wallpaper). His friend and I also clicked and because they already know my name, I demanded to know his real name too. He gave it to me but he wasn't in any social media platforms. His friend is an engineering student. I also found him interesting as the conversation we had also made sense. Fast forward, the law student and I lost connection. He is not replying to my messages anymore.
So now, I found out that he (engineering student) was lying to me and that he used to message using "their" account. Apparently, law student told his friend that he found an interesting girl blablabla. I got suspicious that they are the same person and decided to confront the engineering student. I was kinda right. The engineering student disguised himself sometimes and copy the way he (law student) messages me when we were still talking in ig. He was also the one who introduced himself using that ig account.
Also, engineering student was courting me when I found out about the lie. I don't even know if the law student was a real person. Do I have the right to get mad?

Opened TikTok to see a F_M video on my FYP with (I thought) zero comments so I assumed it was new. She said it was a response to her comment section. She went on to say that there are EAC’s. learning from her, but all those who are supportive don’t dare post in the comments because of all the hate and insults. She then said that if you insult her she will block you. I went to grab a screenshot but it’s gone now. But I’d love to address it 😅
1- there are EAC’s learning from her
She’s right. There are EAC’s AND AC’s learning from her. The EAC’s are learning what insanity is going on in their own EP’s minds, and the AC’s are learning how very blessed they are that their parents and in-laws are NOTHING like F_M. We are also learning a great deal about what NOT to do when we are parents and in-laws if, heaven forbid, we cause them to go no contact.
2- all those supportive don’t date post in the comments
Do I need to elaborate on this BS?
3- she will block you if you insult her
What’s funny is she blocked me (of COURSE I have another account to check from that I never contact from lol) and I didn’t insult her. I actually (stupidly) tried to engage in conversation and reason with her. She blocked me because I was probably dishing out a little too much truth and common sense for her delusions to handle. But she has not blocked and actually left up all kinds of comments from people who are truly being mean, and even one wishing physical injury on her. Why? Because she can use those comments to say “oh poor me I’m the victim” but she can’t handle the comments pointing out the truth because it would shatter the fiction she’s woven for herself.
This whole thing is truly absolutely fascinating to try to understand someone like this 😅

Had someone try to scam me via phone call last night.
They posed as an employee from Uber saying that they were calling because a rider made a complaint that “I was not the same person in the picture and that they needed to verify some information”. He then started to ask me some questions that didn’t seem too off but could, indeed, be used to verify my account (-relatively new driver here; 3 weeks ish). Asked to verify my contact email on the account, what method of payment I have on my account (card linked, routing etc), and was oddly very sympathetic. I had explained how odd it is that someone would complain because I look the same in the photos and only had one rider at that time (thunderstorms previously) and that conversation was very cordial and the pax seemed really friendly. The scam caller seemed very sympathetic and basically was like “yea, sometimes people do these things to get a free ride”.
Right before he had called, I also had accepted a new ride request and was on the way to the pickup. When I answered the scammers phone call, I mentioned that I was en route to a rider and he said “no don’t pay attention to that, that was us sending you a fake pickup to initiate verification and that wi would be paid for my time on the phone verifying. I never gave my bank acct routing info or acct info but there were a series of questions where he said “I’m going to send you a code, can you confirm it” and then I noticed a message that my PayPal password had been changed. First obvious red flag 🚩. He then asked me to confirm the amount of money in my bank account so that he could send reimbursement money as well as a bonus amount of $150. Red flag #2🚩 I said, the numeric amount of my checking account should have nothing to do with applying any monies into my account. At this, he started losing his composure “look, just verify it so that we can deposit the ($75 -previously $150 red flag 🚩 #3 and your account will be verified and you can continue driving”. At that point I knew for sure it was a scam and said, “how many people have you tried scamming already?” And he hung up.
They’re getting smart y’all. Stay alert and don’t be fooled. Stay safe out there.
Call came from: (830)205-1951 “Donald Walker” (-name said to me)

Hi. I don't know how i found this subreddit i just googled some stuff ended up here and read some posts. Just to clarify I dont have a diagnosed CPTSD? I'd just like to share how my life has been because I genuinely have my whole life been thinking either what the fuck is wrong with my life theres no way this is normal and then sometimes i just think that im overreacting and my life has been completely normal. I'd like to know if im just imagining it or not I guess. Also I'd like to add that im doing somewhat better and im not experiencing THOSE bad thoughts anymore so please don't like report my account for being a danger to myself (I think that's a feature on reddit?). Im still a bit messed up but like still MUCH better than I used to be.
Honestly I read this whole thing and im adding here that I rant a lot maybe im just ranting about all the bad things in my life... Just a warning I guess. Don't read this if that's not what you want to read, this ended up super long sorry. Also I dont know if this is even relevant anymore. Half of this rant is about my family and other half about other bad things that happened I think. I don't know if this sub is only about like family stuff im sorry if this is the wrong place. Also trigger warning I had some thoughts about ending it and some self harm.
The first 10 years of my life were semi normal from my memory. Its been a while since those times and I dont remember it that well. I remember my parent's fought semi often (which is normal?) and some of my earliest memories were them yelling, fighting at night, my mother going out at night and yelling that shes never coming back, and a few times my mother doing stuff like talking in a scary voice and i remember crying and saying it was scary I think but she just kept doing it (while it was night and I was probably trying to sleep/go to sleep). I was also the middlechild so my parents always treated my older and younger sibling better like them having better stuff to some amount but not like a ridiculous amount. I also remember being scolded a lot by everyone if I did anything slightly wrong even by accident and I remember my brothers not being scolded at all if they did anything similaworse. Anyways I still mostly remember being semi happy and my life being somewhat normal if not just completely normal and im just focusing too much on the bad stuff. I also remember having sleep paralysises and nightmares a lot around when i was like I'd assume up to 12 years old and a weird thing i realized some time ago is that a lot of time in those nightmares/sleep paralysises the monsteperson that was scaring me was either of my parents. Anyways maybe im just reading into things and its a normal dream. I genuinely don't know if im just being a weirdo and my life was normal and im reading too much into stuff I dont want to pretend like my life was bad if it wasn't im just wondering so please don't get angry at me if its not im just wondering. Oh also my family really never spent much time with me atleast I dont remember them being around and mostly working when I wanted to play. I also remember my mother avoiding me like when I asked to spend time with them they just said no and to do something else. I was really bored as a child but I had videogames atleast so I mostly spent my time around them. Oh also 1 person who I thought was my friend beat me up at school because I said something mild not even at them that their class was worse than ours? I also passed out at school and I dont remember why and I remember my big brother just walking by me without saying a word when I had awoken in the hallway (they saw me and just ignored me...)
Anyways. When I turned 11 or so we moved while I was still in middle of elementary school so I had to leave the few friends I had behind (but my brothers didnt as the other was just beginning elementary school and other was entering middle school). I didn't really make any friends within the school and the few I did dropped me out when they realized I wasn't exactly popular. The teacher and other kids made school hard and while I usually achieved perfect grades i started barely passing in school because of how much I hated it. I also started forgetting stuff too and the teacher scolded me a lot because of that. I started being bullied to some amount by the other kids and my teacher so I started stress eating a lot and got kinda fat. Then they started bullying me about me being fat. I also had really no friends or contacts. I remember being extremely stressed out and my big brother making fun of me because of that. Then I remember getting depressed. I started not really trying anything anymore. My family didn't help they made fun of me being fat. Also I remember not really being physically attacked much but im pretty sure I at some point complained about my big brother hitting me with a controller in my head. But I dont remember if that actually happened? Knowing them it might have. Anyways I remember crying every morning around this age until I didn't anymore. I cried almost every morning because I didnt want to wake up and go to school and my parents sent me there anyways. The kids there made fun of that too I remember one of them asking "why is (me) crying every day" and someone answered to them "that I must be so happy"? Anyways eventually I stopped crying. I just didn't feel anything anymore other than anxiety and sadness and anger rarely. Mind you, through this my family didn't give a fuck about how I went from a somewhat happy child to someone who stayed inside all the time, went from healthy to fat within like a year and didn't feel anything anymore. They just focused on their own things. I started getting suicidal thoughts. I remember when I was a child (even younger) and I learned what suicide ment. I remember wondering why the hell anyone would ever want to do that. And now I felt like I wanted to do that. That's how bad I felt. I remember thinking what my family would think/how they would react if I drowned myself in the river. I went outside often at random times and just thought about doing it. I walked by this like electricity thing and I thought if I touched it would it kill me. Mind you these were just thoughts. I never actually acted to the point that I tried to do anything and I dont think I was doing that bad. I didn't act on these thoughts. I remember once coming home from one of these walks hoping they would wonder where I had been since I was like 12 and my mother just smiled at me (almost like she knew I was trying to get attention from them and with like an evil smile rather than a good one?) and said I was just outside walking to the others. I remember even thought I was the one who played the most games in my family, we got a PS3 and the old PS2 went to my littlebrother along the old TV from my big brother. Even thought the other played only a little and the other didn't play at all ever. I don't know if I was just being a brat but it felt bad taken that videogames were the only thing that made me a bit happy in my home. I remember them doing other stuff too like my big brother often telling me to kill myself, doing stuff like pointing a toy gun at me and like pretending to shoot me and telling me to stop pretending like i was misunderstood (I was depressed and having suicidal thoughts... at 12). Other things I remember is a teacher calling me fat (made me feel a bit bad...) as a joke and my teacher sending me to a class for trouble children with bad grades (even thought I told her I got a bad grade on the exam because no one told me that we had an exam so I couldn't read for it. I was sick when they said we had one btw in school which is why I didnt know) and even thought I clearly didn't belong to that class since the other people seemed to actually not be able to get good grades, i started trying in school just a bit so they would see my grades are good and get me out of that class since I felt bad being there because the others made fun of me because of that too. The teacher there was an ass who constantly spoke to me and the others like we were braindead and i genuinely hated her. It was clear I didnt belong there but they just kept me there the rest of the year. I started sleeping like only 3 hours a night since I was 11 until highschool ended because I didn't want the next day to begin. I just stayed up all night playing games and doing other stuff. Pretty much always other than vacations and weekends I slept like 3-5 hours only. I think that made my grades even worse and I don't remember much from some years of my life where I slept the least im assuming because of the lack of sleep? Or depression idk.
Anyhow things stayed like this. I felt extremely bad and had no motivation but I just kept on living my life. Later on when I went to middleschool at 13 years old I found for the first time some friends. I felt somewhat better, like I belonged for the first time in my life. My depression went away somewhat. Other things stayed the same thought my family still acted the way they always did. Still with my friends I felt like I was okay. I forgot about how bad my life had been a few years. I still had a challenge getting that close to anyone and didnt have self confidence and didnt feel outright happy but I was somewhat okay. I remember at the middle of middle school I got depressed again. I didn't remember that it was a feeling I had always had the past few years because back then I was so out of it. I remember just feeling like there was a void in my heart like to the point it physically hurt every now and then. I guess I realized that more than half of the middle school was over and I knew my friends would leave me behind when it's over since I had a hard time getting too close to them. And that's what brought the depression. I remember some months after since I still felt depressed telling my mother I was depressed and she just kept on working and saying in a monotone voice that "oh really? that means you have to go to therapy". And it scared me I didnt know what that would be like so I just said never mind and walked back to my room. Anyways middle school ended none of my friends stayed in contact I got super depressed. Because of my lack of good grades other than the last half few months which is the only time period where I tried and got very good grades, my overall average in middle school almost prevented me from getting to high school. I remember my dad just saying that "sorry I guess you tried your best it wasn't enough" something along those lines. Like wtf I didnt try my best I was depressed and slept 3 hours and didnt study at all so I could spent all my time with videogames and my few friends so I could feel a little bit of happiness in my life. I didn't have the fucking motivation to study at all... Anyhow I got to highschool.
So highschool was the worst. But honestly im getting tired of writing. I had THOSE bad thoughts again, we have to go to army when we get out of highschool in my country so that scared the hell out of me, I didn't focus on school was bullied, family was just causing problems. No wait I do want to write a couple things here. When I was 17 i developed bad OCD. I didnt go out of my room anymore. I didnt want to touch anything that had been in my school and then anything that had touched those things I didnt want to touch either. Something called contamination OCD apparently? I spent at ages 17 to 18 probably 2-5 hours average daily on compulsions. I felt like a mindless puppet. I keep thinking how much better grades I'd have got if i spent that time on studying. Once my big brother really invaded my personal space and it upset me and made me so stressed because of OCD related stuff that I took a semi sharp object from my TV remote and slashed my leg a few times to a point that I still can see the scar. I also got angry and felt bad easily when I lost in a videogame or such and sometimes bit my hand in anger. My parents also wanted me to go to army instead of trying to not go there (theres a few alternatives). But at this point I stopped liking my family. So i knew I was not going to do that or what they want. I had dreamed since I was 15 of when I'd get to move away and never see these people...
Anyhow. Im 23 now. I worked through a lot of my issues. Not fat anymore. I go outside now. I sleep a normal amount. I exercise. My OCD i managed to best atleast to the point that im able to function mostly normally like I wouldn't even have it. Still depressed probably I don't remember what it felt like to feel to be honest so I don't know if I am depressed? Haven't had THOSE thoughts in many years. Haven't self harmed myself in years. Still have no friends because i have quite a bad social anxiety due to my life. Still thought for the first time in years... maybe since I was 11. I feel like my life is not going a steep downhill. I feel like it's getting better actually. And i've felt like that some time as of writing this as I began to fix my life and my issues.
The most annoying thing is... it's been so many years. My life has changed so much. The family I have im still in ties with to some amount even though I'd like to not be. They dont seem bad now? That bad? But I still want to get away from them completely and never see them. I just FEEL like I need to do that. But I dont know if they even were that bad. That's what I want to know here. Is my family normal. Is there something wrong with me and I imagine they are bad? I might end up deleting this post and my account. This is just a throwaway. I just want to know. I need outside input. I've been so alone that I never had that. I need to know if im imagining that I had a bad life or if it was not normal. I literally feel like I cant view my past objectively because I can't remember much. There were happy memories too in my childhood. A lot of them. Atleast some years of it. Im just picking the bad examples. I managed to enjoy some of my time back then. I just cant realize whether theres something wrong with other people especially my family and the bad people in school or if im the problem. If you actually read this, anyone, thank you. You probably know more about my life and existance than anyone else other than me since I've spent so much of my life alone.