Court side: -3 year informal probation -9 month DUI class -$1970 in fines -41 days of work release (lawyer says I should be done in about half of that)
DMV side: -Mandatory 1 year loss of my CDL Class A -1 Year restricted license with IID
This was my first DUI, no priors. No accident. My arrest was 7/23 of last year. Finally got to court 5/22 of this year. Had a bad relapse and was on a bender. Made a bone headed move to drive after day drinking. Was making a right on a yellow and the red barely got me. Pulled over, failed field sobriety test, and refused breathalyzer test. I agreed to a blood test (this got complicated later). They took me in drew my blood which wound up being .25. The night shift messed up my information so I wound up being in jail for 26 hours. Lawyered up immediately when I got out.
So my case was tricky since I had a Class A CDL. My arresting officer was a little inexperienced. On the police report he put down that I had a double refusal which was not true, had that gone through I would’ve lost all driving privileges for 1 year. My lawyer was able to postpone the dmv hearing until he saw the body cam footage, then he was able to confirm that the officer made several mistakes and didn’t word things correctly. This saved me for my current employment. So Riverside County is pretty harsh on DUIs and especially if you’re a class A driver’s license holder. They originally wanted to give me 90 day work release, MADD, community service, and something else that I forgot. So I’m pretty happy with the result.
My court date got postponed twice and the only reason I ever got was that they’re busy. It’s been a long 10 months of sleepless nights and anxious days worrying about the outcome. So it’s a huge relief that it’s finally hear it so I can start getting this process over with. Ive been sober since last August so they definitely has helped. I highly recommend getting a lawyer to anyone with a recent DUI. Especially if you have a commercial drivers license because they’re going to want to throw the book at you. I know they can be expensive but if you have the money, do it.

Alright yall, I need your feedback/suggestions. I’m going to have to stop my prescription NSAID for a bit and not gonna be able to take my muscle relaxer for a while because I’m being treated for what is presumably a stomach ulcer. I need to google how long it takes them to heal. I can take Tylenol so that’s a plus, but it doesn’t work for me as good with the fibromyalgia pain. I got a new big full bag of epsom salts. …. And I have a 10 day vacation coming up that I’ve been ever so slowly prepping for as I want our home clean for the person house/dog sitting while we are gone. And of course I’m gonna have lots of laundry to do and the packing. Thank goodness we booked a couples massage the day we embark. What tips do yall have for me? I like fashion and looking put together so I usually spend a lot of time ironing clothes and coordinating my clothes with me shoes and jewelry and hair accessories/hats. (I’m definitely the gal who over packs, though maybe not this time). And I was planning on painting my toe nails too before we head off. I hope I don’t have to make a lot of concessions to all this because of pain, fatigue, etc.

i think i’m really stupid and boring. like shell of a human kind of boring and uninteresting and brainless. i feel uninspired most of the time. i don’t get excited for things, and when i do, i get too excited and end up disappointing myself.
i don’t know anything. i have surface level knowledge about my very few interests, but nothing deep or anything like that. when i share my interests with someone, we always have the same level of information about it, if that makes sense. like i really like undertale, but i don’t have any interesting points or ideas about it that someone else wouldn’t have already discovered or thought of. i think the only thing i actually know more about than the average person is nutrition, which stems from an eating disorder, and i don’t like talking about it with anyone. sometimes i feel like i need to research my few interests more, just so i have a leg to stand on when people ask me about them, but the idea of having to research it makes me feel tired and hopeless before i even try. when i do end up looking into stuff more, it never seems to be enough, or i can’t keep it all in my brain and i forget, and then feel like i don’t really have a right to speak if i don’t know facts.
i don’t like hanging out with my friends one on one because i know they’re going to ask me about my life and i don’t have anything to tell them. i don’t do anything. i wake up, go to work, come home, play minecraft or stardew valley with my boyfriend, or watch youtube, and then sleep.
yesterday, i felt sad that i don’t spend my time doing anything productive or interesting, so i tried to draw, because i used to be really good at it. it felt so forced, i didn’t want to do it, and my skills have greatly decreased, which was so disheartening, even though it’s my own fault for not practicing.
whenever i decide i want to do an activity that is fun or different, there are no options that come to mind. i can’t even think of something cool to do that doesn’t cost money. on weekends, i spend my days trying not to think about food, forcing myself to get 15k steps and go on a run, wondering what i could be doing instead of waiting for mealtimes, and then going to my second job most evenings. sometimes i have an activity on the weekend or even on a weekday evening, but i never actually want to go. what im really looking forwards to is getting home and making tea and watching tv. but i make myself go because ill feel worse if i don’t.
even when im doing things i “like”, for example hiking, im just waiting for it to be over, even though i want to be hiking. or maybe i don’t like hiking, i just like the idea of liking it.
last weekend, i had a trip out to a city near mine to visit my boyfriend. it was really fun and we did some fun things. but when i tell my friends and family about the trip, its like my brain can’t even figure out how to tell them about it in an interesting way. like all i can say is “it was fun, we did lots of stuff and did an escape room”. like i can’t even make a story out of it or anything.
right now im taking a high school chemistry class so that i can go to university to study biology, but i can’t get in without this class. i don’t even think i want to do biology, but its the only thing that seems mildly interesting to me and useful. but im 20 years old taking a grade 12 class, and i can’t even figure it out. it’s so hard and im doing poorly in the class, and its so embarrassing to talk about or tell people. my brother makes fun of me for “still being in high school”. i did graduate when i was supposed to, and i know he’s just being silly, but it still makes me feel bad.
i also don’t know any geography, i often have to ask people what the words they’re using mean, i have NO knowledge of cars even though i work at a company that deals with trucks and car parts and stuff, i have no memorization skills, i only “know” two languages, though im very quickly losing my ability to speak french, and i don’t feel interested in learning anything. its like i don’t have the capacity or desire to absorb information. i can’t sit through a book without feeling restless, or a long video without needing to be on my phone. i have no attention span anymore.

This heinous crime took place right outside my hometown in the Northwest Georgia mountains of Chattahoochee National forest in December of 1982.
Dr. Charles Scudder was a professor at Loyola University in Chicago. In the late 70s, he and his partner Joey Odom decided they wanted to live a more quiet life, far away from the city, so they bought 40 acres down here, packed some of their belongings, and headed for the hills with their two bull mastiffs, Beelzebub and Arsinath.
They built their home all by themselves, brick by brick. As members of The Church of Satan, their “mini-castle” was full of demonic symbols. The mysterious abundance of dead and dying trees on the property inspired him to name his castle in the country “Corpsewood Manor.” It is now just a crumbling heap of bricks 😞 Today, the area is locally known as “Devil Worshipper’s Mountain”.
I’ve visited the place quite a few times and let me tell you, the eerie feeling that takes over as you drive up the winding mountain logging roads, is unmatched. They named their long driveway “Dead Horse Road” and that alone is just enough to send me. Walking out there and knowing about the gruesome murders that took place is bone-chilling.
Scudder and Odom had established their own personal oasis and they were finally happy with their quite, simple lives, with no electricity or running water. But that all came to an abrupt halt on the night of December 12, 1982 when they were murdered in cold blood by 2 cowards who were out to rob them of the riches they thought were kept at Corpsewood Manor.
I won’t try to sit here and tell the whole story. But I will say that the lore that surrounds these men, their lives, and the crime that took place, is absolutely CAPTIVATING. I have read countless articles and a couple of books that were written on this story but I can say it would literally make my life if Sylas Dean and Stew were to cover it on Creeptime the Podcast 😊

GUYS, i desperately need to become a shift you don't understand. It's not just the pay increase and guaranteed hours but I am SOOOO bored!! I will not quit are you kidding me, management and corporate behave like they've been infected with the devil but this competitive pay and benefits talk LOUDERRRRRRR HELLOOO. Im a uni student who relies on public transit so till i sav enough for a car most of my shifts would b like mids and opens when I'm an SSV
I've come to learn that this job is very personality based. I would describe myself as a focused, hardworking, no nonsense person. I literally do not feel the need to engage in conversation on the floo never initiate unless I see a cute new tattoo/hair colour my fellow barista is sporting or need to complain and that's abt it. I'm an extremely good convesationlist (I mostly xercise this w customers duhhh) but when I'm at work my focus is get in, do what I know and gtfo because I don't see them as friends they are my COWORKERs; Im telling you all this because I definitely think ur personality is a big part of how u go abt working at Starbucks at least that's what I've observed. I definitely always keep my pay in mind ($18.34 Ontario, Canada) and I refuse to work as if I'm two ppl. I work efficiently, with intentional movement so I can maintain AT LEAST where I'm deployed whether it's bar, DTO, warming etc etc, wherever I'm placed, I make sure my environment is beautiful, stocked, and functional because I refuse to operate in mess (and as a lil treat for the barista after me) and disorganation idgaf abt DT times, customers waiting, why would I spend 10 mins sliding on a slippery floor when I can mop it up in under a min??? come on nowwww cleanliness NEEDS to come first and it always will for me. You will not find me leaving spills, messes etc etc for late someone else
My manager is a great, beautiful and lovely as a PERSON, but is truly MS.Trunchbull on the floor so much so I've considered switching to the night team so i don't have to deal with her as much. She is prepared to help me with my shift but she's very DIY abt it, like I have to figure everything out myself she says things like we'll go as fast or slow as u want to go (I was alr warned by this b4 transferring) . She is VERY standard I'm pretty sure she even has a siren tat i hope i never see it bc u actually need to stop drinking the kool-aid lady like pls. She wants me to focus on coaching ppl as a barista which I've attempted (mainly on cleanliness, beverage accuracy, greeting." : but bro....these ppl literally dgaf... even when SSV's coach them. I've tried saying things like:
"I love how fast you're getting out drinks, I know speed is important, but wiping your bar and putting things back immediately will actually help with that and if you need support with that i could give u a hand"
"I cant belive ur done the pull!! that was fast, dont forget to collapse the boxes so garbage runs are less time consuming thanks so much"
"Omg this is so me, I always forget that the new refreshers come w a nitro lid too, if we're out do mind replacing it w a dome lid thankssss"
"Omg guys i look so silly when i greet by myself pls next time can we do it in harmony pls ill send u money"
I've learned that starting with a compliment is the most effective way
Being a barista u can turn ur brain off but it becomes mind numbing when ur well integrated into the job. I transferred from a cafe only with ppl who behave like its high school to the busiest drive thru in the district with less problematic ppl (as a girl + gay, sometimes the girls and gays get too comfortable and forget where they are). The SSVs here are extremely overworked/stressed out and attacked verbally you knowww the typical suck them dry run around. I'm the type of person who refuses to let a job such as Starbucks behave as if I owe them my life, I have great communication skills, I communicate problems, ask for support and just overall vocal. I refuse to get stressed on the job its just low value coffee pls relax. Sometimes the best ways to respond are: ok, understood, thanks for the feedback, got it etc etc. Even irate costumers cant get to me ill just be like sorry bout that bro, remake, refund or SSV which one u want.
I'm very casual abt my approach to the job, down to my work clothes (everyone says I always look so comfortable, BECAUSE I AM!) cause I refuse to treat it as the corporate environment it masquerades as, if ur not gonna put me on salary imma act like an hourly!!!! Even when I'm a shift (I'm very confident I will eventually get the position, God willing) I will take ALL my breaks and lunches IRDGAFFF
I need all tips and advice to become a Baista Trainer, Shift and then the best way to do the job while keeping cleanliness and well being of my fellow coworkers on the floor. Like I said, my manager is very DIY like all she tells me is coach and b a leader like ok, girl sure but I'm not gonna undermine the SSV. The environment i want to mimic, is basically old starbucks, a clean, well oiled machine, where baristas are actually happy and dont behave robotic when it comes to connecting or r just so BURNT OUT!
I feel like barista's at my store are scared to make mistakes, admit them too, are stressed and just feel pressure. I want to change this narrative at least when its my floor. Focus will b efficiency, and guess what DT times actually do nottt mean shit, they can yell all they want but if there's valid reasons for the time displayed and standard was upheld u literally can't knock me for it! and if i did something wrong of course I can b accountable. Im ok with being a by the book person (for me, I'm not gonna impose thison baristas, do it ur away as long as u get the right results) it doesn't bother me in fact its better bc its just makes things more straightforward
i dont plan to b strict, overbearing or whatever I'm literally trying to replicate a cozy cafe as much as i can which starts with happy baristas hellooooo. I want everyone to feel like they can freely communicate with me/ ask for support/ or just b honest and tell me things like if they physically cant handle being on like DTO anymore.
PLS give me every tipe advice u have I literally will b taking notes, Im literally thinking about making a digestable ultimate barista guide for anyone i train. thank u so much in advance and dont let this job stress u ever its not worth it, USE ALLLL ur benefits and stay happy and grateful luv u guys

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Please note- there is discussion of a hadith which calls for the execution of those who commit same sex relations in this post. While the direct text of the hadith is not there, it is alluded to. If this could potentially discomfort you, please see the end of the post for a small conclusion on the subject matter discussed here.
Previously, I wrote about why the "test" argument, insomuch in how while tests can be granted by god, sexuality cannot be seen as one without making the verses on how Lut's people invented their sin read oddly, and blatantly put- illogically. The mainstream reading makes Lut out as tactically incompetent (hoping to give women to ward off the mob at his house despite the fact that they had wives already and such hadn't helped), engaging in forced marriage (as he essentially in the popular reading offers to throw his daughters out to the mob without asking his daughters about anything and generally as being less than ideal in deed- for the idea that argue he did not need to ask his daughters- Ibrahim asks his son (likely Ismail but also possibly Ishaq) about the dream of sacrifice he had in the quran (37:102). This is not getting into illogical presumptions that buttress the traditional understanding regarding sexuality itself. Overall, the mainstream reading not only ascribes extremely negative actions to Lut, violating the idea that the prophets have some protection from committing bad actions, it just makes no logical sense on top of that.
Here of course- is where the traditionalist often moves to another argument- "Surely, if you legislate this, you shall legislate incest and pedophilia both!" or "Same sex relations and the desire for them is a mental illness". In their minds, the justification of one sin shall surely lead to others, and the desire for same sex relations is an illness- they see it as a mental one primarily. As for the idea that same sex relations are made up and a human invention, one can just pointedly argue this- if they are, they should not be prevalent in an area where such is condemned as they have no possibility of happening due to such being seen as taboo, yet in the near east, you have Saudi Arabia in certain publications getting called the Kingdom in the Closet- https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2007/05/the-kingdom-in-the-closet/305774/ .
Now, of course- this understanding forms on the idea that same sex relations are a sin, and thus, the other two are also sins. Thus, allowing for one sexual sin opens the possibility for others. Yet, there is a major conflation happening here- and a dangerous one. In such an argument, the lines between consensual actions and non consensual actions and acts that allow for inbreeding or not, are blurred- irreparably.
When one is to define a sexuality, typically it is defined as an innate inclination of an individual. A paraphilia can also exhibit itself as this- but there is a major difference- a paraphilia cannot be expressed safely- either to oneself who has it or others, and thus, consent often becomes a major issue. In the case of pedophilia, a child is underage and thus cannot consent properly, and as such, the only activities that can occur will be those of sexual assault. If one were to have intercourse with an animal (bestiality/zoophilia) or a corpse (necrophilia)- it is much the same- consent cannot be found or determined in certainty from the other party, and harm is likely to ensue.
This is also why we differentiate mental illness and sexuality- a mental illness can cause distress or harm to oneself or others. A sexuality inherently does not do that. A paraphilia on the other hand can do that. What often leads to mental health issues is repressing sexuality. The same also applies to suppressing gender identity- dysphoria can be deadly if left untreated- and transitioning is better than potentially gambling with somebody's life.
Sexualities as understood (gay, lesbian, bisexual etc)- do not inherently have these issues. They can be expressed consensually, they do no inherently cause harm to oneself or others, and far from causing the hallmark symptoms of mental illness- distress or harm to oneself or others- when expressed, such usually only happens when such are repressed. Now, the next argument that a traditionalist may defer to is this, "Fine then, what if two individuals consent to incest? Is that okay now?"
In the light of framing the argument around consent, this often is the next point to tackle- but even this has it's issues. Incest in itself usually has two issues running intertwined- consent and inbreeding. In extremely close situations like a parent with a child, or two siblings, there is a serious risk of one attempting to coerce the other as power dynamics can cause issues, or extreme codependences- consent becomes something that cannot be fully ascertained like in the former case- and that's not discounting the inbreeding issues. Even if consent was established, inbreeding would be a problem.
When the quran bans incest, it notably seems to be doing so under the inbreeding principle- banning avuncular and sibling marriage as well as with one's parents- as well as utilizing milk kinship- adopted son's wives may be wed, but those who have given nursing even if unrelated cannot.
Same sex relationships typically don't have this problem. In the case of heterosexual incest, inbreeding becomes an issue. Sexualities do not inherently have this problem- the issue of children does not occur with gay or sapphic individuals, and would only apply to bisexuals.
More importantly, such conflates an act with a disposition. Incest is ultimately an act between two individuals. People are not inherently predisposed to solely love their close relatives, they can find intimacy elsewhere. In traditional understandings however, same sex relations do not get this understanding. And as mentioned prior, acting upon them does not cause harm upon oneself or others in a physical sense. So the issue of physical safety or violating consent isn't there inherently.
But, moving back a little- the traditionalist argument also tellingly ignores that many of the things they'd argue would be justified, if same sex relations were licit were in fact to some extent justified in traditional jurispedence. Verse 65:4 has been infamously used to justify child marriage, and in tafsir's like Ibn Kathir, you can see this belief where iddah (the waiting period) for young girls is discussed, alongside the hadith's on Asiha's age and the precedent they could have set- though as mentioned prior, the veracity of these hadiths is doubtful due to them likely being narrated due to sectarian tensions and compromised narrators.
As for incest, while no direct incest is allowed, the quran does leave potentially a loophole for inbreeding. It does not ban first cousin marriage, and while that in itself is not incest, nor should it be seen as such (as that would imply it should be prohibited considering the trend of the banned marriage verses revolving mostly around close relatives, the fact is that successive marriages of such a nature would eventually lead to inbreeding. For successive situations, at most one could label them makruh, but no more than that. It would essentially have all the genetic consequences of incest regardless at that point. A couple in that situation would just have to be very careful considering children- it's left up to individual caution.
Now, at this point, the traditionalist may go "Okay fine, but what about two gay men having incest? There's no inbreeding there.". While this is mostly a very niche point, one must state this- if we are to ban sexual relations on the possibility of incest happening, shouldn't heterosexual intercourse be banned save only for procreation to completely reduce the possibility of such occurring. Clearly, nobody argues for that, so that it is here is odd. While the quran itself in the banned marriage verses does not definitively say anywhere "forbidden is being wed to the same gender" in Surah Nisa 's banned marriage verses- leaving all else as lawful- one could potentially analogize same sex incest to be akin to heterosexual incest, as per the dominant understanding of intoxicants.
Of course, the early hanafi understanding of khamr as wine only does exist, and even seems plausible to be backed depending on how one reads scripture (as khamr seems to be often used in relation to wine in the quran), but in this case taking the more cautious route seems best. Controversially, there is of course the silence is permission angle of this, but that probably wouldn't be an ideal reading in this case- while this is usually an acceptable path to take to avoid over restrictions and burdening (as well as adhering to the maxim of not making something permissible not so), it might not be ideal to do here based on how heterosexual incest is treated, but theoretically such a view would conform with the idea that "all else is lawful" aside from the banned categories unless we analogize same sex incest to heterosexual incest, and thus put such in the banned category. Overall however, the quran just does not really seem to address same sex relations. Lut's story could be pointed to, but the mainstream reading has it's issues, as stated prior, between compromsing Lut's character and not making sense logically.
Now, at this point, one could point to 4:15-16, but even that has some issues in regards to being used as evidence of same sex relations being criminalized. For one, the punishments for them are very light- house arrest for a group of women, and rebuking for two individuals (some translations argue 4:16 means two men, but most seem to indicate it is "the two"- who these two are is never specified- and could just mean a duo of any two individuals. If these are the punishments for same sex relations, where did the hadiths advocating the death penalty come from?
Others may point to the idea that the quran is written in a heteronormative context, but the mention of both men without desire and the ghilman contest this. The houris also potentially could be both male and female, as netural terms are used to speak of them in places of the quran.
The unequal nature of the punishments (women get house arrest, men get rebuking), despite zina being classed as equal for both male or female in punishment, the fact that the verses actually leave a loophole for monogamous sapphic relations (4:15 only punishes a group of three or more women, if we assume 4:16 speaks about gay men). If we are to assume the possibility that 4:15-16 were both talking about sapphic relations (a group or just two individuals) that would open up the issue of gay men having no punishment in the quran, and leave an unequal punishment for sapphic relations (why does a group get house arrest, but two a shunning?).
4:16 use of the "the two" is also in the neutral- implying it isn't specific to a certain gender. If it was, it would be like 4:15 mentioning women somewhere. The two mentioned here could also include a man and a woman together. Most traditional understandings held these verses to be abrogated strictures regarding zina, and considering they are after a section on inheritance, and fahisha can mean greed- it's potentially plausible these verses have nothing to do with sexual activity at all, but inheritance fraud. This is not an orthodox understanding of course, but the placement of the verses after a section on inheritance rules seems to make this view plausible.
Unless one analogizes to zina for same sex relations- but as mentioned prior, zina without a path to marriage means accusations of fornication can't hold, they can't exactly be punished in and of themselves. And as mentioned earlier, paraphilias are not equivalent to sexualities due to not being inherently unsafe to engage in. Nor are they inherently involved with incest, and thus cannot be banned on the basis that legislating same sex relations would allow for the others. The latter is different enough from the former. Thus, the argument the traditionalist uses here is in essence a slippery slope fallacy- common in many conservative understandings, but an application of said fallacy nonetheless.
As for the hadiths indicating the death penalty for same sex relations, if the quran itself doesn't have anything that serious for same sex relations then such can be discarded as a fabrication. Ibn Hazm himself did this (while he was not affirming by any means and actively saw same sex desires as something that would require institutionalization (which was however much better than most others at his time amongst religious authorities), he did find all hadiths on capital punishment daif).
Additionally, as some have posted in this subreddit prior, the transmission chains have issues. There is also the fact that the hadith seems to essentially be the popular understanding of the punishment for same sex relations from the book of Leviticus, and almost word for word sound nearly identical to the verse in Leviticus which states such and their popular interpretation when linked to the story of Lut- which would potentially imply this hadith, much like the ones on rajm (stoning)- essentially caused jewish legal concepts to creep into islamic jurispedence.
While there can be acceptance of certain understandings from the past revelations so long as they harmonize with an islamic understanding- hence the diverse and rich tradition of prophetic stories and in tafsirs related to them, their legal codes are not binding upon muslims, especially when they conflict with scripture. Of course, since the quran does not legislate the death penalty for same sex relations, there is no need to argue for it, and they should be dismissed as legal stratagems that are not to be executed. Even if same sex relations were not appropriate (though my understanding is that they can), they cannot be seen as needing the death penalty. Even using 4:15-16 to prove punishment for same sex relations holds is proof enough for that- if these are the punishments for same sex relations, why reach for the death penalty?
Overall, sexualities cannot be seen to be equated to paraphilias or incest in totality, as they are not inherently prone to being nonconsensual or inherently inviting the possibility of inbreeding, and making analogies to them or that legalizing the former will allow for the latter two is not only disingenuous, it also ignores the fact that medieval jurispedence in some times allowed for some of such to occur regardless such as seen with some of the interpretations of 65:4, even with the ban on same sex relations intact.

Hello! We want to hear the unfiltered version of why you’re in medical school. *Book of submissions to be published in July 2025. Would like a minimum 500 submission - currently have 187/500*
We ask that you take an introspective journey and really think about what brought you to medical school, the drive behind your passion, and even those reasons that you may not have felt comfortable admitting before.
The reason this form was created - When I first got into medical school I never once thought I was here for the “correct” reason and it made me feel like an imposter the entire time. It took a lot of deep and introspective thinking to realize that I wasn’t some imposter, that I was in medical school for the correct reasons, and that the “correct” reason everyone tells you about isn’t real. So I’d ask you to write your reason for coming to medical school. Tell about the anger and spite you have towards the world, tell about the pride that pushes you forward, tell about all the light and dark reasons you came to medical school, tell about the parents who forced you or the people you lost, tell about the boredom, the trauma, sadness, selfishness, greed, fame, fortune, and everything in between, tell the truth, because there’s only one wrong reason for becoming a physician and your reason is not that reason.
This survey is anonymous and will remain that way so you can answer openly without the burden of judgment or retaliation.
We would like submissions to be between 1 – 5 paragraphs long (however, it can be as long as you would like), it may be titled or untitled. If we receive enough responses to this form, we may compile an anonymous book of these writings.
It’s an anonymous form, so take some creative license. In this case, your feelings don’t care about the facts.
Link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfAPDpk4d1OfjDJdZe4mJIt23UByBWljYjI8w9I8P9UYuSwHw/viewform?usp=sf_link

I often put a movie on a 2nd monitor while doing mindless tasks that take a while. It's a nice way of doing long overdue viewings of movies that I'd otherwise never get around to. Today A.I. finally got its turn (among others), and jesus christ, despite only giving it like 60% of my attention, it was like an energy black hole.
It was a completely exhausting experience to get through. I can't think of a dryer movie. It's like everyone was on ambien when making this shit. An autopilot movie, where the only thing that was achieved was conveying a story through a series of images with sound.
That's actually a category of movies that I've noticed over the years, and that I absolutely hate. They're often adaptations of books, and the dialogue is often stilted and the direction is incredibly uninspired. Never Let Me Go (2010) is another example of this.
And on top of the pacing, it's also over 2 hours! You often see people joking about 90 minute movies with slow pacing feeling like 3 hours. Well this movie is already long without all that, so it genuinely felt like 5+ hours.
I always wondered why this wasn't more of a stable, as it had a pretty stacked cast, a quite interesting premise, and it's tied to Spielberg and Kubrick. I now realize that those are the only reasons it is known in the first place, especially the Kubrick connection. Nobody should care about this movie. It should've been forgotten in 2001, or better yet, Spielberg should've let it die.

The long and short of this is I have a touchpad / tablet that is designed to be mounted to a wall, and PoE powered. However, I want to be able to use this on my tabletop. It has a backplate designed to fit into a single gang box, so it would really just need to be a pretty simple box, angled back slightly so it’s not vertical when “installed” in the box, and be freestanding.
I can get dimensions of everything as necessary.
Does something like that already exist, or could someone throw something together pretty easily?
Almost something like this https://www.printables.com/model/115209-single-gang-switchoutletdevice-box-for-desktop-use but with a more sturdy base, and potentially a thicker base (I’d need to check the height outside the box itself to make sure it’s tall enough)

I finished uni a year ago studying a bachelors degree that was design and programming as well. So I did studio subjects like UX, UI, product design, data visualisation, web design, JavaScript coding, animation stuff like that pretty in demand stuff when I was studying it and there was heaps of jobs and a big demand for UX. I also did designathons assisted with PhD research in VR and more research. I worked hard and got high grades and ended up getting a strong portfolio together which my mentor currently said is better than some designers he knows. The only problem now is that the job market is terrible due to tech layoffs and no one is hiring due to a bad economy and over saturation of UX designers from boot camps.
I did have a final interview the other day for a large company that had over 1000 applicants for the role and I was one on the six to make it to the final round but sadly they hired other people because I lacked experience even though it was entry level and I was told to do an internship instead because they said it’s fast paced and think I’d struggle but they never seen me work and I don’t want an internship I want a job I’m nearly 25. Why does entry level need experience they said in the email they’ll teach you on the job. But I guess I’m alright to make it to the final six out of 1000 while only two were hired.
But there are no other jobs idk what to do, all the jobs are mid to senior level. It’s been a year and it looks like I’ll never get a job. I’ve applied for smaller jobs but didn’t even hear back.
So my life’s been a loop for the past year I get up walk my puppy then scroll on my phone all day. I have a mentor who’s given me a list to do to help but I haven’t even done that I feel like it’s pointless. I haven’t exercised in months or done any of my hobbies I just scroll on my phone in my room all day. I don’t even have the energy to place video games or eat normally my diet has gone to crap I barely even brush my teeth anymore.
I’m also feeling like a complete failure I’ve never been in a relationship at 24 and don’t have a career started yet. I’m so ugly I made a post on Reddit for plastic surgery but people said I don’t need it but I can’t believe them I feel like they’re lying trying to be nice and say my face isn’t asymmetrical when I was told I’m a 3/10 and need facial reconstruction surgery. I don’t want to go outside because I’m so ugly and deformed unlike everyone else. Someone called me an incel because I hate my face so much I wanted to die and self harm. What does that have to do with women that’s mean and hurts my feelings I’d never hate women. I don’t even want to do anything at all when I know I’m hideous
My parents are mad at me and say all I do is scroll on my phone and I should go back to uni and study something else or work in data entry or retail stocking shelves. People on Reddit said I should give up and I did a bullshit degree but they’re pretty in demand skills just the market sucks. I know a girl who’s been struggling for nearly 2 years. I’ve been to psychologists but none have been good one nearly fell asleep, one made weird assumptions and one dismissed my problems and said I have different problems. Only my psychiatrist helps
But I don’t feel depressed like I use to. Maybe burnt out and a bit disheartened that I worked so hard for nothing and been told to give up.
I currently have a part time job but that’s about it
Sorry for the long post but I’ve wasted a year pretty much in my bed on my phone. What can I do to fix it my family is mad at me for doing nothing and it’s not like I don’t want to do this. I’m 24 and so far behind in life my younger brothers friends have careers and travel. Am I lazy like they say or is there something wrong with me how to I find motivation to live again. My brothers are doing better than me with gfs and careers while I’m living at home with no future because of the job market
My laptop broke so I bought a MacBook Air but not getting it until next week so hopefully that helps
Sorry for the long post and if I sound whiny I’m just tired and struggling to improve no one’s helped only bend angry at me and making threats like threatening to financially drain me or kick me out because I’ve been struggling. I’m on medication been on it for years but now I’m in a slump i struggle to get out of. I can’t even surf anymore and I live near the beach. And I quit the gym I got a eating disorder from it so I don’t wanna go back
My puppy is all I have right now that’s keeping me active. I literally do nothing it’s almost midnight my sleep schedule is screwed and I haven’t even read a book in like a year I’m just so unmotivated by anything I don’t exercise, don’t eat well, don’t do hobbies, barley have energy to apply for jobs now I can’t do anything but my parents say I’m lazy which I probably am I guess but I never was lazy . I’m ugly and don’t have a career yet which I want, I want to start my life already
I have a lot of free time I should be enjoying it but I want a job
I’ve wasted my 20s

First exposure to the extended universe outside of the Halo wiki. Also my first ever audiobook.
I haven't read fiction in a very long time so I don't know what makes a "good" fiction book, but both the writing style and the plot are entertaining enough that I'm really enjoying the book.
The narrator is really good, I love the different voices he does. Hearing him go from Mendez's voice one minute to young John or Kelly's voice is funny but also makes the audiobook experience better, it's a bit more like a movie with my eyes closed, than a book.
The book does a really good job of fleshing out the Halo universe. Very surprising given that this was the first Halo novel and they didn't have any prior worldbuilding to go off of. I don't know how much of this was Nylund on his own, or how much Bungie helped with, but it's very well thought out. The military sci-fi/futuristic technology is presented very well and feels realistic, even though I know most of the technology stuff is obviously BS.
Sam was introduced a few chapters ago, I already like his character but I know what happens to him in the end :(

Ok, this is the wildest clay season in recent years. We've had Ruud beating Djokovic and winning a title above 250, FAA getting 2 retirements and a walkover to reach a Madrid final, the Elder Wand changing hands left and right, Nadal truly looking like a 1st week RG exit, and an injured/broken top 4 (but honestly the entire top 10 has had issues this clay season). This could be a buildup to someone's first slam final, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens.

1. Jannik Sinner (#2)

There were some positives for Jannik this clay season. SF, QF, A across the masters is still better than the clay results he put up in 2023 (SF, A, 4R). Jannik looked to be coasting to win Monte-Carlo, but Tsitsipas was in great form and a bad line call was made that changed the course of that match. The Madrid retirement was unfortunate (also a winnable tournament with FAA, Lehecka, Rublev being his path to the title), but preserving his health has got to be more important than anything else he does at the moment. As of me editing this post, Jannik is back practicing and looking like he's going to be just fine for RG, so the goal should be to aim for #1 especially now that the GOAT is vulnerable.

2. Carlos Alcaraz (#3)

Carlos has been announced to be looking good after scares with a right forearm injury that took him out of MC and Barca (and likely contributed to the unexpected Madrid exit). A thing that happens with Carlos is that when he's the favorite for something big, he seems to not play at his absolute best. Luckily this doesn't happen all the time, but if RG gets to to point where he's the only one of the top 4 remaining (pretty likely unless Sinner has a miracle or Djokovic pulls a Djokovic), what will happen? Will he have another Zverev incident? Besides that, I believe Carlos should coast through some rounds early and build his form up to 2023 levels, if he doesn't than really anything could happen.

3. Alexander Zverev (#4)

Honestly before Rome, Zverev was looking like a contender to turn in one of the worse clay seasons out of the top 5, but this Rome victory propels him up quite a bit in my book (look at the Live ATP Race rankings before you disagree). The most impressive part was what he did in the final; he came out of that final with 95% points won on first serve. Jarry won FIVE return points the entire match. The fact that his serve can do that on the court which probably resembles RG the most out of the clay masters is nothing short of extremely impressive. Winning Rome hasn't translated to a RG win (outside of Nadal) in a long time, but that serve + backhand alone should take him to the 2nd week.

4. Stefanos Tsitsipas (#9)

Post-Badosa Tsitsipas is a thing I guess? It's one hell of a mental turnaround to go from losing to Shapo in 2 lopsided sets to winning Monte-Carlo while beating Zverev, Sinner and Ruud (who just got the confidence boost of a lifetime by beating Djokovic). I'm not gonna look into Madrid too hard (a loss after a Masters title and another final is expected), and Rome was a loss to Jarry who was peaking and played out of his mind to clutch the comeback win. Stef does have a chance to do something crazy if he can get a favorable draw and play to the level he showed in MC, but only time will tell.

5. Casper Ruud (#7)

JAAAAAAAA. No seriously though, Ruud has had the clay season to completely change his mentality. Defeating #1 Djokovic (not a good Nole by his standards, but still Djokovic), and winning a title above 500 is the validation we've been waiting for from Casper. The game was always there but the execution in these make-or-break matches never showed up until this season. I'm willing to ignore Madrid and Rome because "what happended happended", but RG is pretty much peak Casper form outside of 250s, so a deep run looks to be on the way.

6. Andrey Rublev (#6)

Um this was unexpected. This was the same person who got all of one win (against retiring Murray) after his DQ in Dubai incident. The mental turnaround to win a 1000 with a strong performance against Alcaraz on the way is crazy. I don't know exactly what worked or why, but the old Rublev would have choked that final to Felix out of frustration. He hasn't been lashing out as much, he may even be letting go of his mistakes if you can believe it. Again, with the top 4 in question this is as good a time as any for people to make runs and Rublev has his chances to go beyond a QF if the draw allows and his head allows.

7. Novak Djokovic (#1)

Ok guys don't crucify me just yet for putting him down here. Djokovic is not out-performing any of these guys above him, in fact he looks human. Yes, he's got another easy draw at RG to get into the swing of things, but he looked bad against Ruud and even worse against Tabilo so there's no telling what could happen in this draw. He's doing well in Geneva right now, but Griekspoor and Hanfmann are hardly any real challenge. The GOAT needs to get back to GOAT things as soon as he can, or that #1 spot is going to Sinner. I'm sure he will, it's just a matter of when.

8. Danill Medvedev (#5)

Clayvedev didn't work out this year. Yes, the Rome condition were very much a one-time thing that we might not see again, but Med just didn't look like himself much at all this time around (he looked better last year's clay season imo). He's got nothing but points to gain at RG and that should bring some confidence to his game, but if the serve comes back at a high level he should be able to work himself into a respectable form for this one.

9. Hubert Hurkacz (#8)

No expected Hubi to have a great time on clay suddenly. He did win Estoril, which shows that he can play on clay, it's just that there's a hard ceiling on clay for people that heavily rely on serve, and it usually doesn't give them great success in the big tournaments. He put together some good wins and he's probably going to go at least to 3rd-4th round in the French just based on experience and rankings, but he's not anyone's pick to win the thing. Good job by him though for still putting in the hours and work to try and be the 2nd most successful active Polish tennis player on clay.

10. Taylor Fritz (#12)

Fritz has some potential here on this surface. He's not the best by any means, but he's been putting in decent results and beating some good clay players. I don't think that necessarily means a deep RG run, but I'd be very surprised if I see a headline with Fritz out in the 1st round. As long as that 1st serve percentage is high, he's going to be pretty hard to break down.

WILD CARDS: Jarry, Dimitrov, Nadal...???

Not as many wild cards as last time, but a few that I think are worth mentioning. Jarry put together a really nice Rome run after going winless post-Miami; this is sort of like Rublev's run but Jarry is likely going to lose form again randomly, he's never been consistent but when he fires he fires. Dimi was beaten quite a bit this clay season (makes sense, clear worst surface) but he's still probably winning some rounds. For Rafa, I'm not gonna go into too much detail, you can watch and see that he's not gonna be back to where he was ever again. The only two reasons he's on this list is because one, this is a match you should be watching no matter who you support in tennis; and two, if there's any remaining hope that Rafa can get one more win so we can see that fire one last time, it's here. Philippe-Chatrier, odds against him, and the King taking his last dance in the clay palace.

In 2009 I fell 5.5 vertical metres through a roof, landing in the centre of a run of timber stairs and then rolling down the stairs to the next landing. I spent 4 days in hospital and was then released having done damage to both my hips and crushing my L2, L3, L4 and C3, C4 vertebrae. I had my accident on Monday 22/12 and came out on 24/12, a Christmas miracle, walking as if nothing had happened. Late December, early January (not a good time for me, I fell off the slippery tracks of a digger on the back of a truck, about 1.7 metres flat on my back onto a road. I got back up and carried on working. A week later I started getting an aching in my right leg and foot. I also had a burning sensation in my right calf muscle.A week later and I was getting the same pains in my left leg, same burning sensation in the left leg. I also found it hard doing certain things, like lifting my legs to get into bed. I would have to lift each leg with my arms. Also, getting into a car. I would have to sit down and lift each leg with my hands and bring them into the car. Driving a truck was worse, like climbing the steps to get into my house. I would stand at the bottom of the steps, staring at the stairs/steps, trying to figure out how I was going to get up them. I went to my doctors clinic, seeing Dr #1. He sent me to have X-rays/mri and forwarded my name to a ‘specialist’. Specialist told me he didn’t really need to see me and going off my mri/X-ray I needed both hips replaced, my left one being the worse. He said I had osteo-arthritis. He apparently put me on the waiting list for hip replacement, recommending 1 hip, left hip first, at a time. While waiting, but still working (I have a small business with up to 6 employees scaffolding, supplying swing stages on the outside of hi-rise buildings, supplying access machines and the transport of same items. All symptoms continued but I also started getting a tingling sensation in both hands. Dr#2 asked me which fingers and I said I thought it was the whole hand. Dr#1 said it must be carpel tunnel and I must be getting it in the ring and little fingers only. Meanwhile Dr#2 does an examination and while having me, laying on my back, raising my legs, says that my weakness in ability to raise the legs did not support hip replacement send me off to see another specialist, his cousin. This specialist tells me that by the way I walked into his office he could tell I needed a hip replacement. Still on the waiting list, I carried on working. I notice now, whilst at rest or laying in my bed, I started getting spasms, these were mainly in my legs but could go so far as right up to my neck. Frustrated with this going no where and my loosing my ability to go for long walks with my wife, I book a double appointment, at the end of their day, with Dr#3, the senior doctor of the practise. He examined me and tells me ‘referred pain’ doesn’t normally go below the knee of the opposite leg, ie right leg if left hip is the problem hip. He checks out some books/journals and starts talking about pressure points in my neck and other places but winds up saying ‘if I want him to follow up on that, I’ll have to book another appointment. Mean time I get an appointment to see the anesthesiologist for the hip replacement, she tells me operation won’t proceed till I have my blood pressure down to the 140 range, it was 195. I go back to Dr#1 who puts me on a tablet to reduce my blood pressure. I should mention, I have also been on since pain started Morning - 2 panadol, 2 gabapentine, 1 celecoxib Lunchtime - 2 panadol, 2 gabapentin Night - 2 panadol, 2 gabapentine, 1 celecoxib, 1 magnesium. B/p still fluctuates between 148 and 190 and I seem to be on a treadmill to no-where. I went and visited my elderly mother in hospital yesterday but the walk to her room was extremely hard. I contacted my dr’s clinic and they told me the earliest I could be seen was ‘next Tuesday’. But, since I was at a hospital’ I decided to try for a difference of opinion there. I booked in to the a&e at 11:00am and waited. Blood pressure (195) was taken and blood samples. A doctor saw me at about 6:30pm and I spoke with him about my leg pains. I also mentioned hand and foot spasms and also the fact that I also had dizzy spells. He told me that I had osteo arthritis in my hips. I asked if this could be due to the fall I had in 2009 which he didn’t know about. He scrolled back through my records and instantly told me that my left hip had gotten worse. He said I should have discussions with my osteopath. I asked ‘which one’ and he said the one I have most confidence I. As they’re all trying to send me in for hip replacements, I don’t have confidence in any of them. I feel I have a pinched nerve that is giving me the majority of my complaints. I believe the damage they’re seeing to my hips is what happened in 2009 and they want to deal to that. I do no believe I have osteo arthritis (but I could be wrong). Please, is there anyone out there that can help me????

This is me, incase anybody wants have a look.
Hey! In my opinion long posts get kind of wasted on here. I find that it’s easier to get to know somebody through talking. It’s hard to condense yourself into a single post.
I’m 27 from Ireland and I like to read. At the moment I’m reading the second book in an Irish fantasy trilogy. I am unsure if I will finish it. I don’t usually read fantasy. I like to read science fiction and classics but my main criteria for choosing books is whatever sounds cool to read.
When I’m not working I like to workout. It’s something I really enjoy, I get to turn my brain off and oonga boonga weights around. I’m really outgoing and open minded. I find it hard to say no to things that sound fun!
In terms of music I have a really broad taste. When I go out clubbing with my friends I like house, techno and other genres like jungle, dnb and garage. Day to day I listen to anything, I love rock music but also rap and have a strong preference of pop music from the 80’s and 90’s haha.
Well that’s me. Anybody is welcome to reach out! I’m sure there’s a lot more to me than just this post.

Hey! In my opinion long posts get kind of wasted on here. I find that it’s easier to get to know somebody through talking. It’s hard to condense yourself into a single post.
I’m 27 from Ireland and I like to read. At the moment I’m reading the second book in an Irish fantasy trilogy. I am unsure if I will finish it. I don’t usually read fantasy. I like to read science fiction and classics but my main criteria for choosing books is whatever sounds cool to read.
When I’m not working I like to workout. It’s something I really enjoy, I get to turn my brain off and oonga boonga weights around. I’m really outgoing and open minded. I find it hard to say no to things that sound fun!
In terms of music I have a really broad taste. When I go out clubbing with my friends I like house, techno and other genres like jungle, dnb and garage. Day to day I listen to anything, I love rock music but also rap and have a strong preference of pop music from the 80’s and 90’s haha.
Well that’s me. Anybody is welcome to reach out! I’m sure there’s a lot more to me than just this post.

This is me, incase anybody wants have a look.
Hey! In my opinion long posts get kind of wasted on here. I find that it’s easier to get to know somebody through talking. It’s hard to condense yourself into a single post.
I’m 27 from Ireland and I like to read. At the moment I’m reading the second book in an Irish fantasy trilogy. I am unsure if I will finish it. I don’t usually read fantasy. I like to read science fiction and classics but my main criteria for choosing books is whatever sounds cool to read.
When I’m not working I like to workout. It’s something I really enjoy, I get to turn my brain off and oonga boonga weights around. I’m really outgoing and open minded. I find it hard to say no to things that sound fun!
In terms of music I have a really broad taste. When I go out clubbing with my friends I like house, techno and other genres like jungle, dnb and garage. Day to day I listen to anything, I love rock music but also rap and have a strong preference of pop music from the 80’s and 90’s haha.
Well that’s me. Anybody is welcome to reach out! I’m sure there’s a lot more to me than just this post.

There was once an empire called the old order. Their conquest was so expensive a transcended universes. They believed it was their sacred mission to conquer all that exist in the name of the cycle. The old order had created a multitude of races. Each specifically designed to fit their predestined rules by their forefathers. However there were a handful of races that were left out of their control. The empire existed for so long that humanity evolved. There was one race they particularly despised as their mortal enemy for their kind evolved from rebellion. They made the races mission to liberate the people of the old order and to finally kill the cycle. All seemed lost until a woman named Eden touched bonded. With a cosmic artifact called the prism. It was the most powerful artifact in all the known multi-verse. For as tiny and insignificant as it looked it had the power to bend all creation in ways that no one could comprehend. So finally Eden killed the Cycle and liberated the old order. Being as powerful as she was, Eden felt The cosmos called her. So she left the old order and its imperial limits and scoured the multi-verse. Not as a conqueror but as an explorer. One day she came to another version of our timeline but during the fall of Rome. There she made a life for herself. But The old order had not forgotten her sin. So they tracked her down and killed her with a specific weapon to do just that. However it was not the end of her story. The prism divided among seven people. Seven alternate versions of her were born Who carried a fragment of her power, each controlling a specific element vital to creation. (Darkness, Energy, Air, Stone, Water, Nature(meaning everything biological) and Minds). As they grew they each had children of their own all scoured among the world mimicking Eden’s lifestyle as nomads. However humanity despite knowing the story Eden, they were not complacent into sharing their world with a version of their descendants. These people are the most discriminated among all individuals on earth. There is not one nation that doesn’t have history at least attempting a genocide on the children of Eden. Because like their mother they continue not to conform to the standards or idealizations of the world that they were born in too. Some people saying the cycle was right. But eventually as the world goes into our time period. More and more people are starting to accept them.
So after that long summarization of my race. What should I name them? For a long time I thought of calling them Divergents. But I want to avoid confusion with the book. Any suggestions

You ever look into a window and wonder what’s on the other side? I mean, a room, obviously, but what’s in it? Who lives there? How do they live? For as long as I can remember, that was my fascination. It started innocently, if creepy; I used to peek into people’s windows when I was a little kid, back when I had to get on my tiptoes to peer in through a kitchen window. I’d see the light reflecting off tile and appliances, and sometimes people would be moving about, living their lives. In a sense, it’s sort of like an ant farm; the windows people use to see out provide a small vertical slice of their inside life. I never got caught or scolded when I did this, even though I instinctively knew it was wrong. It was the same reason my parents chided me for peeking in the door when they’d use the restrooms; people liked their privacy.
But you know what happens when a bad habit is allowed to fester, don’t you? It escalates. When I was twelve years old, I broke into a house for the first time. Not for criminal reasons, mind you, I simply wanted to get a more… tactile appreciation for someone’s life. It was a house that had overgrown grass and sometimes had a beat-up old Buick out front that needed a wash. I’d never met whoever lived there, but I knew they did.
There’s a fatal flaw with burglar alarms: the infrequent nature of burglary. Potentially 365 days of a year, the homeowner is paying for a service that ideally won’t be used. But the device, it never sleeps unless you let it. Eventually, turning it on in the morning when you leave for work or off when you come home becomes such a hassle that in some neighborhoods, people just use the sticker as their ward against burglars. This person was one of those people. And he was also one of the people who failed to lock their windows.
It didn’t smell great in that place. I let myself in through the kitchen window and I just stood there, taking it all in. It was cluttered, lived-in, but not hoarder-level crazy. There was a fat stack of shitty self-help books on the dining room table, and more than a few pizza boxes crammed into an overflowing trash bin. The floor was once, presumably, a nice carpet, but decades of neglect had rendered it crusty and brown. In retrospect I recognize the smell as marijuana, but at the time I thought it was a skunk. I could almost see the guy who lived there wandering around, mired in the detritus of an unkempt house. I could imagine him pouring over those dog-eared self-help books, eating pizza for the fifth time this week, wondering how his life went so wrong.
There wasn’t much to do. Like I said, my intentions were curiosity, not theft. So I went back out the way I came. That night, when the shitty old Buick rolled up onto the driveway, I watched the guy. He was shorter than I’d imagined, and he had thick glasses and thinning hair. He wasn’t super fat, but he wasn’t skinny; all in all, a fairly normal individual. Yet from that moment I spent in his home, I knew so very much about him. I think that’s where the problem started, really.
I got really, really good at it. Sneaking into people’s homes. Walking through undetected. Again, I never took anything, just explored the place and drew connections about their life. Creepy, yes, and very illegal, but I rationalized it at the time as being functionally identical to being invited in. It’s not creepy when a guest looks around, and since I wasn’t doing anything untoward, I was basically a guest, right? I even got so good I could do it when they were home. A lot of close calls, but those were the most exciting. Again, at this point I had yet to steal anything. I was chasing the high of just sneaking around, going where I wasn’t supposed to.
When I got into high school, however, I started wanting things. I wasn’t poor, but there was always something I wanted that was just out of reach. Well, I made the logical leap that my hobby and my desire could aid each other.
I prepped by “mock-robbing” my own house. When my parents were out, I combed through their things, looking for stashes of goodies. Naturally I wouldn’t steal from THEM, mind you; I hadn’t done that since I took a five-dollar bill out of my mother’s purse when I was six. Sure enough, I found the classic sock-drawer with the stash in it. Wasn’t much, just a couple documents. A xerox of my birth certificate, a copy of my grandparents’ will, some insurance papers, and a single hundred dollar bill, all rolled into an old black tube sock at the back of my father’s sock drawer. My mom’s nightstand held a bunch of her old expired credit cards, receipts for purchases deductible as work expenses, and her old earrings she’d worn before her earlobes had healed over. The kitchen junk drawer tended to be where lost coins were deposited, and by quarters alone I reckoned around 50 dollars had accumulated over the years. Finally, under my parents’ bed, I found the real stash: bonds given to them by my grandparents, the deed to the house itself, and my grandfather’s old ring. Worthless to me, obviously, but it proved that humans and dragons both choose to sleep atop their riches.
I chose my mark well; a large house, and one I’d already familiarized myself with on the inside. Once the geriatric woman had left to go do whatever octogenarians do on Thursday afternoons, I stole into the building and rifled through her things. It was a completely different experience to go in with the intent of robbery. I felt heightened. Paranoid. Instinctively I shied away from windows and lights like a scuttling rat, and any time the house shifted or settled, I dove for cover, cramming myself into cabinets or closets. The place was big, but sure enough, I found the old cigar box under the bed. It didn’t have money or jewels, but rather pictures. Grainy, faded, black-and-white pictures of a man in a naval officer’s dress, and a girl in a skirt with frizzy brown hair. I realized with a start that it was her, and who I could only assume was a late lover. There were family pictures on the walls, but none of them featured her with a man at her side. An elderly spinster, clinging to a love who no doubt was long gone. When I discovered that, I shook my head. No way I was going to rob her, even if I’d found gold bullion in the box. So I tidied up the place, making sure to wipe away the places where fingerprints could have been even though I was wearing latex gloves, and put her secret box back where it belonged.
For a few weeks, I didn’t do any B&E. Truth be told, I was disgusted at myself. Every house I’d snooped through, every life I’d reverse-engineered in my head… to think that I’d rob them, make those pristine little lives worse for my own benefit… I couldn’t stomach it.
Looking back, I wish I’d just abandoned that moral hang-up. Because it was that morality that led me to the Mortheimer house.
In the state of California, where I live, burglary is a felony. I think it’s that way in most places. Now I didn’t consider myself a burglar, because in order for it to be such, I had to be entering with the intent to do a crime. As of yet, save for the old woman’s house, I had never entered for any reason save to observe, so in my mind I was not a burglar.
I heard about the Mortheimer house from a friend. He said it had been owned by the bank for some time, after the owner had lost everything to a gambling addiction and shot himself in the building. It wasn’t called the Mortheimer house at the time, though; that wouldn’t be until Jason Mortheimer moved in and bought the old, buttress-ridden house for next to nothing. For weeks, my friend said, they had done construction; as to what they were doing, he couldn’t tell. Aside from cleaning, repainting, reshingling, and repairing the windows, the old house looked practically unchanged from the outside. Yet power tools could be heard from dawn until dusk within the old place, and construction teams came and went with clockwork regularity. Jason Mortheimer was an oddball in the neighborhood; he was never seen during the day, save peering out from his windows to watch people on afternoon strolls. By night, he’d wander and be cordial to passersby, but he walked stiffly, leaning heavily on a mahogany cane. Between the constant noise of construction and the leery glances he was caught giving joggers from behind heavy curtains, it was safe to say Jason Mortheimer was unpopular.
My friend wanted to know what was going on in the house, nothing more. We’d talked about my interests and he’d been understanding; on some occasions, he’d paid me to snoop on romantic interests, to find out their sexual preference and availability. Usually, I’d take his money and not even break in, simply observing the individuals and using the key context clues that he so clearly had missed. His current boyfriend, who like him will remain unnamed, was a closeted individual who I’d been hired to snoop upon; now he was out of the closet, and happier than ever before. Good for the two of them. But this was the first time my friend wanted me to snoop for anything approaching a benign curiosity, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t also curious.
It wasn’t until the construction had stopped, about a week after the last team had left, that I made my move. I was going to enter the Mortheimer house, I was going to take this rich eccentric menace for everything that I could, and I was going to satisfy my curiosity.
The smell was, as it often is, the first thing I noticed. In most places, it’s a very human smell; scented candles, food, soaps, or even unwashed individuals sweating in the summer heat. This place, however, smelled sterile, and vaguely metallic. Like the smell of dentist’s tools, fresh from the sealed pack.
The interior was lavish, but just as odd as the man who inhabited it. Oil paintings of gargantuan scale leered down at me, Bavarian dukes and kings with severe faces glowered from antiquated frames. The floor was mostly granite, covered by a single crimson velvet rug that spanned the various landings. Dim halogen bulbs lit the corners of the halls, leaving the rest of the walk in murky near-darkness. Only the front of the house, as I would come to learn, had windows; the rest of the rooms were the same tiled, featureless rooms with odd decor. I passed no less than three bedrooms, each pristine and untouched, and entirely identical. Even the paintings began to loop, but those were more noticeably wrong, as the individual texture of the brushstrokes would differ between rooms.
The upper floors to the house were bizarre. Dining rooms and redundant kitchens on second-floor landings. An attic with a bathroom in it. Bedrooms so close as to be functionally adjoining. And all of them without so much as a sign of life. I checked three separate refrigerators, and while they were indeed cold, there was not a crumb of food in any of them. Drawers in the bedrooms would be completely empty, just varnished wood staring up at me where some evidence of habitation should have been. The attic bathroom was functional, I was surprised to see, and I marveled at the sheer ridiculousness of it. How much pipe the drains must have had.
When I reached the ground floor once more, I saw him. Jason Mortheimer, staring out the window as he always did. He was hunched, lame almost, as he peered from curtains of the same velvet as the rug. Without a sound, I descended the stairs and entered the first sub-level.
Roland Wood died two years ago. I feel this is important. You must understand that Roland Wood, captain of the volleyball team, was struck by an 18-wheeler and given a closed-casket funeral two years ago. I was there. I hadn’t been close to Roland, or Rollie as he was called by his friends, but the family had invited my family and we weren’t so disrespectful as to ignore the grief of our neighbors. I watched the pallbearers put Rollie in the grave, heard his mother’s hysterical sobs as the burial continued, and saw the grave covered in the cemetery.
Roland Wood, two years dead, body irreparably damaged by the crushing force of an 18-wheeler truck, stood before me as I rounded the corner into the first room. He wore a dress shirt and pants, and he stared straight ahead, eyes glassy and unfocused. It was all I could do to not yelp in surprise as I saw the slack features of a dead teenager in the first room of this strange place. Thick, iron staples perforated the skin everywhere, and numerous discolored teeth shone unblemished white alongside the rotten and deteriorated others. His skin, usually so tan from the volleyball games in the summer sun, was pale and slightly blue, riven with lumps and thin patches where the impression of bone could be made out.
Rollie wasn’t alone in that room. A dozen others stood still, staring at the wall, similarly dressed in formal wear. Women wore elegant dresses and pearls, men wore dinner suits and tuxedos, and all stood like mannequins in the cold, bare room.
“Admiring them, are we?”
I spun as Jason Mortheimer limped into the room, looking straight past me at the ghoulish tableaux.
“I- I-,” I began, but he jerkily raised a hand and shook his head.
“Don’t speak, lad. I heard you on the stairwell. Now tell me, what do you think of my merry little gathering?”
I swallowed and looked back over the legion of corpses.
“Are they… alive?”
Jason chuckled and shrugged.
“In a way. Although you’ll find they’re quite poor conversationalists. Everyone,” he called out, clapping his hands together, “please greet our new guest.”
In unison, the corpses turned to face me, their jaws opening with a creak and their eyes locking onto mine.
“Greetings,” they all intoned, a single voice coming from numerous throats. It cared not for the gender of the body it spoke from; they were all the same dolorous rasp, forced from lips that did not match the words spoken.
“Listen, Mr. Mortheimer, I didn’t come here to-”
“-rob me? Oh, I don’t believe that, friend, and neither do you.”
“Please, sir, I’ll just leave, I won’t tell a soul what I’ve seen.”
Jason shrugged, a jerky spasmodic gesture.
“It doesn’t matter if you do or don’t, dear boy. Nobody will believe you. So, you may go.”
I looked at him. He still didn’t meet my gaze, staring intently at his grisy arrangement.
“That’s… it? I can just leave?”
“Of course. I would prefer you to.”
“You’re not going to hurt me or something?”
Finally, Jason turned his gaze on me, an insincere grin twisting his features.
“Everything I can do has been done.”
With that, he turned away, jerkily climbing the steps. I ran past him, bolting for the door. It wasn’t far, and he made no move to stop me. I flung the old door wide and sprinted out into the daylight, gasping and shuddering as I ran. Confused passersby blinked as I stormed past, sprinting in the direction of home. Relief and terror warred in my mind as I reached my front door, and I threw it wide, startling my parents from the couch.
“Jacob?,” My father asked, “where’s the fire?”
I panted my excuses and sat at the kitchen table. I said I’d had a fright, thought I was being followed, because someone put a note in my locker.
“Speaking of notes,” said my father, gesturing to where the mail lay piled on the counter. There, a yellowing envelope had been opened.
“What’s this?” I asked, dread settling in the pit of my stomach.
“It was an invitation,” my father answered, “to a party. Fancy dress. It’s at that old… oh, what’s the name of the guy who owns it now?”
“The Mortheimer house?”
He nodded and smiled.
“That’s the one. Your mother and I are planning on going at the end of the month. Do you want to come along?”
I smiled weakly, my mind racing.
“I… I guess.”