Seeing versus dating
LetsChat - Chatting, Flirting, and Talking to Strangers
2012.08.21 18:33 lightmystic LetsChat - Chatting, Flirting, and Talking to Strangers
A community dedicated to talking to strangers, chatting either with Reddit chat, through comments, or on Discord. We welcome all, so long as you play fair, be nice, and respect others. Enjoy!
2013.04.22 00:21 twr3x Interracial Dating
A space for interracial couples to share experiences, ask questions, and to support one another.
2021.03.12 12:36 Lupin_The_Fourth DumbTwoXChromosomes
Were you banned from /TwoXChromosomes without ever visiting the sub? are you tired of seeing it on /All and not being able to participate? are you tired of giving your honest opinion and being banned unjustly? say no more. Welcome to /DumbTwoXChromosomes where you can comment on the hypocrisy of /TwoXChromosomes, /FemaleDatingStrategy and give your opinion without being banned. unless you're flat out racist and shit but if you're genuinely pointing out hypocrisy, welcome.
2024.05.14 12:41 Mountain_Bluejay4383 Title ko help chahiye.. READ ❤️ (request to mods please don't delete 🙏)
 | I can send all the documents and proofs for verification in pm... Please help guys submitted by Mountain_Bluejay4383 to CarryMinati [link] [comments] (Already posted on few subs and got help of 9,500 rs) Last year, during my late father's treatment for Terminal HCC disease, I borrowed a significant amount of money from various online apps. Unfortunately, he passed away, but nearly a year later, I find myself still ensnared in this debt trap.l earn a monthly income of 12 thousand rupees from my job, supplemented by an additional 2 thousand rupees from home tuition. Despite this, it remains insufficient. As the sole earner in my family, I am struggling to repay the debt, exacerbated by the fact that all the EMI dates from different apps coincide. The total amount I owe is 1 lakh 50 thousand rupees, a sum that seems insurmountable given my current salary and tuition fees. Over the past year, I've attempted various tactics to avoid defaulting on loans, including taking out new loans to repay older ones and considering selling assets, but I've now exhausted all options. I feel mentally drained and hopeless.I am at a loss and see no light at the end of the tunnel. I implore you all to offer guidance on what steps I can take. Unfortunately, I cannot turn to relatives for further financial assistance, as many have already supported my family during my father's treatment, and they too have modest incomes like mine. This is my fundraiser https://m-lp.co/anuragmi-4?utm _medium=native_message&utm_source=app I can provide all the documents and proofs for verification in dm PLEASE HELP DOSTO |
2024.05.14 12:40 Specialist_Bake6514 Vapiano P3: Italian Food Made in Germany
 | The kitchen is on fire. Welcome to the final part of the Vapiano story where the tables are turning. In the first two episodes we followed Mark Korzilius' journey from setbacks to founding Vapiano, a groundbreaking restaurant concept, highlighting its fresh ingredients, dynamic atmosphere, and data-driven operations that drove rapid success. While achieving initial profitability and garnering attention from industry giants like McDonald's, Vapiano's global expansion has led to stellar revenue growth. However, it has also resulted in the emergence of numerous side projects (or distractions), operational challenges, increased costs, significant investments, and a notable accumulation of debt. This underscores the prioritization of top-line growth over profitable growth. We will continue on this thread and see how the story ends, but I would encourage you to read part one and two for better context. Vapiano P1: Italian Food Made in Germany (substack.com). Let's dig in. submitted by Specialist_Bake6514 to unpackbusinesses [link] [comments] Before Going Public We are now in 2015 and the year is a disaster for Vapiano's PR department. Employee time stamps are being manipulated, endless overtime for employees and high turnover in managerial roles are reported; mice in the kitchen and even rotten food allegedly found. The company is confronted with allegations of exceeding working hours among trainees in an article published by Welt am Sonntag, while the same outlet accuses Vapiano of manipulating punch times. The auditing firm PwC is commissioned to investigate the allegations and finds that there is no systematic approach but rather misconduct by individual employees, a mistake that’s being corrected. Internal however, investigations into stamp times are carried out regularly now and beyond its obvious reputational impact, this sucks up valuable management time and attention. In the summer of 2015 CEO, co-founder and investor Gregor Gerlach, who has been running the group since 2011 is stepping down and Jochen Halfmann is taking over. A new Vapiano People Program with an App is being developed with the aim to better interact with customers that will incorporate innovate features such as mobile pay. The German website sees a launch of new magazine to further promote the brand and there is now a full inhouse blogger and Instagram team being installed. In October the company buys seven restaurants from original co-founder, former co-investor and ex-president previously responsible for internation expansion Kent Hahne (2x Bonn, 3x Cologne, 1x Koblenz and one in Cologne that’s under construction). This package of Vapiano restaurants is very successful and generates net sales of more than 20 million euros in 2014. Hahne opened his first Vapiano restaurant in Cologne in August 2006 and in 2015 with his company apeiron AG, Hahne operates six L'Osteria franchise restaurants, a direct Vapiano competitor, and two self-owned restaurants GinYuu. Then in November of 2015, the next public relations bomb goes off with allegations regarding the company's quality standards. The company immediately investigates the issue through internal and external specialists but finds no evidence of any quality issues. Nevertheless, knowing that the group is now being closely watched, the company’s already in place hygiene standards are being reinforced. Additional audits and inspections are performed nationally. Further, all Vapianos worldwide are being audited twice by the partners SGS Institut Fresenius and SAI Global. Auditing software is purchased to simplify the implementation of the audits and the resulting measures. Apart from the external examinations, there is a food sampling plan in place being performed continuously. Again, all of this sucks up costs, management time and attention. With all these tumultuous developments the company’s growth engine is undeterred. Revenue grows by a whopping 50 million euros to 202 million euros, an increase of 33%. Impressive. While average spent per customer increases in all countries, the number of customers per day in Germany decreases by 3.3% partially due to the negative press towards the end of the year. Five own, four JV and 19 new franchise restaurants are added that year to the group, the total number of own managed restaurants grows to 51, there are 31 JVs and 84 franchises which bringing the total to 166 Vapiano restaurants. Global restaurant sales are now above 400 million euros. But while revenue grows by an astronomical 50 million euros, operating profits, alarmingly, shrink again. Gross margins are staying perfectly healthy above 75% but operating costs keep growing disproportionately fast. The Company’s outstanding debt jumps by almost 30 million, close to 85 million euros by the end of the year. With operating profits at 9.5 million euros, alarm bells should be going off right now. In Q4 of 2015, new CEO Jochen Halfmann introduces Strategy 2020. The new strategy includes five essential points. One, profitable growth in the newly defined core markets of Germany and Austria as well as in the UK, Netherlands, France and USA. Two, operational excellence through strict “best practice” management. Three, further development and digitalization of the concept considering guest feedback. Four, greater focus on long-term employee retention and five, building a modern and sustainable IT landscape. Sound’s good on paper but let’s see how things pan out. Vapiano's investments (capital expenditures) that year are primarily directed towards new restaurant openings, renovations of existing establishments, and share acquisitions in other Vapiano restaurants from franchisees or JV partners. A significant portion of funds is allocated to the digitalization of the guest experience, including the development of a new app scheduled for market release in 2016 and the implementation of a time recording system across all group restaurants. The world's first standalone Vapiano restaurant with a delivery service that year is built in Fürth, Germany. The company keeps expanding its presence in both inner-city locations and international markets, such as Shanghai, China. To finance all of this, the group has its own operating cash flow which comes in at 18 million while capital expenditures are 26 million euros plus 14 million for acquisitions. The funding gab is filled with 26 million euros of new debt and a seven-million-euro equity raise. At that end of the year and after the equity raise Gregor Gerlach (through his AP Leipzig GmbH & Co. KG entity) holds 30.1%, Hans-Joachim and Gisa Sander through their Exchange Bio GmbH hold 25.5% and the Tchibo heirs, Herz through their Mayfair Beteiligungsfonds II GmbH & Co. KG hold 44,4%. But for the first time the restaurant’s concept that was so successful to date is being questioned. Some customers are starting to mislike the operational flow of the concept itself. If you want pasta, you must queue for pasta. If you want pizza you stand in a different queue. A small side salad, yet another queue. "You spend more time carrying trays than an actress in Berlin-Mitte. The audience in the pasta limbo can only consist of people who have worked for an insurance company for a long time and, like Stockholm syndrome, they can no longer get away from the industrial canteen feeling," writes TV host Beisenherz provocatively. While overly harsh in his assessment he's not entirely wrong judging by customers venting their frustrations in forums and social media channels. It isn’t uncommon for those who ordered pizza to have already finished eating while there is little movement in the pasta queue. Long term that doesn't go down well, QSRs competitors like L’Osteria are handling this process differently, with much success. https://preview.redd.it/6cas01oked0d1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=2da6e0b4bc0e07dbee558de412feb414cd598d4a Tipping PointWhere are now in the year 2016 and things start to deteriorate visibility. Perhaps not for the leman’s eye but any business minded observer can see that there are problems under the hood. Yes, revenue grows yet another whopping 50 million to almost 250 million euros but half of that growth, comes from acquisitions of restaurants that the group didn’t already own 100%, which is now being fully consolidated within the group’s accounts. Here is a concrete example. In the past, Vapiano SE, the group’s top holding company held an indirect 50% stake in a French subgroup via the subsidiary VAP Restaurants SA, based in Luxembourg, and included this as an associated company in the Vapiano SE consolidated financial statements using the equity method. Due to the acquisition of additional shares in September of 2016, Vapiano SE's indirect share in the French subgroup increased to 75%. This means that Vapiano SE takes control of the French subgroup, which is therefore included in the group’s financial statements as part of the full consolidation. The revenue from the acquired subsidiary now recorded in the consolidated income statement amounts to 12.8 million euros. While that’s great for the top line, the loss of the fully consolidated entity equates to 0.2 million euros. Yes, you are buying revenue, but there are losses attached to them, not profits. A similar case is the Swedish entity that runs eight restaurants with revenue of 11.5 million euros but has losses of 235 thousand euros. So much for Strategy 2020 and “profitable” growth.That year the group’s operating profits are absolutely tanking, halving to 3.5 million euros. Operating profits are now a mere 1,4% of revenue. Remember original founder Mark Korzilius who talked about operating margins of 25% to 28% at the restaurant level? Yes, there are overhead costs for the organization that sits above the chain of restaurants, but operating margins that low indicates a course correction is needed. What’s telling is that in the annual report, in the management discussion section, the company starts talking about EBITDA as a proxy measure of profitability, rather than operating profit or net income. This wasn’t the case in the years before. Is this window dressing for an upcoming IPO? EBITDA is short for earnings before interest, tax, depreciation, and amortization. How can you measure profitability of a restaurant chain that absolutely and unequivocally needs capital investment to maintain its restaurant operations, the very source of cash generation, by simply excluding this maintenance charge (depreciation in the income statement)? Vapiano’s own annual report talks about the fact that existing restaurants must be rejuvenated from time to time and that new interior designs have to be implemented every few years. These things wear and tear, they go out of style, kitchen equipment breaks and needs replacement. This business absolutely needs maintenance capital expenditure, why anyone talks of profits before these maintenance costs is beyond me. Fun fact: in the previous annual report EBITDA is mentioned seven times, mostly around restaurant acquisitions and financing, not however as a profit indication for the group. In the new annual report, EBITDA is mentioned 28 times. Maybe it’s just me but belated Charlie Munger liked to call EBITDA: bullsh*t earnings. When in doubt I stick with Charlie. Interestingly, EBITDA for Vapiano keeps growing while operating and net profits keep falling. Operating cashflow for the group that year is about 21 million euros, but capital expenditure is 30 million and acquisitions for subsidiaries another 20 million. To finance these expenditures another 28 million euros of debt and 16 million of equity is raised. Net debt rises above 130 million euro. The operating cashflow of the group before any capital expenditures is 21 million euros. I am not sure free cash flow would be significantly positive after maintenance capex is paid out; it’s not broken out so we can’t be sure. Granted, I am not on the ground during this time, and I am not in the board room, I am simply reading what’s in front of me, but to me this is starting to look like a distressed situation. Regardless, the following year the company goes public. IPOWhere are now in the year 2017 and its Vapiano’s first year as public company. The company’s annual report reads the following “Sales revenue, like-for-like growth (LfL) and the earnings figures EBITDA and adjusted EBITDA are used as the most important financial performance indicators for controlling operational business activities.” The very same report however also says: “The majority of the group's investments regularly go towards opening new restaurant locations and modernizing existing restaurants. The latter are differentiated into regular replacement investments that occur during ongoing operations (Maintenance CAPEX) and fundamental investments in the renovation of a restaurant (Remodeling CAPEX). On average, a restaurant remodeling takes place nine years after opening.” It says it right there in their own report; every nine years a remodeling is taking place. Remodeling and updating is not cost free, so why exclude depreciation charges which reflect capital expenditures? I understand that perhaps you would want to strip out one-off opening costs, that’s fine and fair, but don’t go overboard.The number of restaurants increases by 26 (previous year: 13) to a total of 205. The increase consists of 27 new openings and one closure. Group revenue grows to an astonishing 325 million euros but here comes the shocker, operating profits turn negative to 25 million. Fine, strip out foreign exchange losses of 3 million, IPO costs of 5.8 million and new opening costs of 6.1 million and you still have 10 million euros of operational losses. All the while the debt load of almost 130 million hasn’t materially changed, so those operating losses are before a six-million-euro interest payment. 184 million euros are raised through the IPO of which 85 million go to the company. This money is earmarked for further expansion as the group has ambitions to almost double the footprint to 330 restaurants by the end of 2020. The company is currently not profitable on an operating basis, and still wants to expand aggressively? I don’t get it. The remaining 100 million euros of the IPO money raised is distributed to co-founder Gregor Gerlach and Wella heirs Hans-Joachim and Gisa Sander. The family office of the former Tchibo owners Günter and Daniela Herz with a 44% stake, don’t sell a single share. After the IPO, 32% of all the company’s shares are now in free float. One year later, in 2018, things get even worse. Revenue grows to 371 million, but operating losses mount to 85 million euros, that’s before interest expenses of 9 million. Even the beloved EBITDA figure turns negative, meaning the operating business before any expansionary or even maintenance capital expenditures is loss making. All regions are experiencing significant deterioration in their earnings profiles. Like for like sales are down 1% across the board. That’s revenue, not profitability. The question naturally arises: is the Group approaching its natural saturation point here or this operational by nature? The operating cash flow is now 9 million while financing cost are close to 7 million. That leaves 2 million for maintenance capital for 74 own restaurants and 76 joint ventures ones. Describing this as financially tight, would be an understatement. Things are not looking good at this point. Yet the company still grows restaurants by 26 new sites. 64 million euros are spent on acquisitions, new openings, and maintenance costs, financed through a 20 million-euro equity raise and 72 million of new debt. The Company now has net debt outstanding of over 160 million euros. After the equity raise and by the end of the year 2018, Mayfair owns 47.4%, VAP Leipzig, Gregor Gerlach’s entity owns 18.9% and the Sander couple own 15.5% of the company. Yes, the Sanders and Gerlach may have taken 100 million euros off the table, but they still have substantial skin in the game. Plus, Mayfair hasn’t sold a single share and instead injects more money into the company through the equity round. The stock has now fallen from its IPO price of 23 euros per share to under 6 euros by the end of 2018. Something must be done here. And indeed, there is pivot in strategy and a hard push for change. At last, the management team abandons its aggressive growth plan and curtails new openings significantly. Additionally, the team wants to run a thorough analysis of weak locations to then either discontinue or sell sites. In Europe, the operating focus will be put on corporate restaurants and joint ventures in major cities to ensure the ideal size and location to match the respective demographic target group. Outside of Europe, the franchising business is being expanded and at the same time a consolidation of the existing corporate and joint venture markets is being sought. All future investments will be reviewed to achieve higher rates of returns on new openings. Investments are also being made in the renovation of older restaurants. The goal in the future is to also open smaller formats, like Mini-Vapianos (less than 400 square meters) or Freestander at prominent transportation hubs outside city centers (currently in Fürth and Toulouse) to cater to individual location requirements, and to enter new partnerships. I am not sure why management hasn’t stopped all expansion altogether, bringing the ship in order first, getting profitable, clean up, all hands-on deck before considering any further expansions whatsoever. But again, it’s easy to comment from the sidelines; maybe they saw white spaces that would be covered by competing concepts if they weren’t moving fast and aggressively enough. Although pushing internationally means competing with local players such as Jamie's Italian, Prezzo, Pizza Express, Wagamama, Nando's and many more which brings in its own dynamic. Management also aims to enhance guest satisfaction. This involves refining operational processes, reorganizing the support center, and refocusing on the core offering: providing fresh and high-quality Italian food at affordable prices for a broad audience. The group also aims to reduce waiting times, especially during lunch, while also improving the evening atmosphere. There is even what I would call an evolution, away from Vapiano’s original concept, reorientating the customer journey. The ordering flow is being changed, offering guests synchronized preparations of all dishes while eliminating wait times at the cooking stations. The open show kitchen remains, staying true to original mantra of freshness and transparency but now guests can choose their preferred method of ordering through a mobile app, using a digital order point (kiosk), or by personally placing an order with a waiter. Guests can still freely choose their table and are then informed about the complete preparation of their order through a pager or their smartphone. This is a substantial deviation from the original concept, but a needed one. The group is also exploring and implementing the expansion of take-away and home delivery services but only at suitable locations, not universally across new openings. I am not sure why home delivery is even a priority here; it adds operational complexity. It’s better to clean up shop first and get back to the basics before adding new complexities. To be fair management does try to simplify. There are 49 different permanent dishes on the menu and additional 10 seasonal ones. Customers can choose from eleven different types of pasta. There is simply too much choice, and it makes orders complicated. The company announced to slim the menu down to its most popular and typical Vapiano dishes. There’s no need for an Asian salad at an Italian restaurant. "We have to go back to the roots, i.e. classic, honest Italian cuisine" says COO Everke. Regardless, in November of 2018, the supervisory board pulls the plug on CEO Jochen Halfmann and replaces him with Cornelius Everke. Everke himself has just become COO five months ago. Since 2017 he was responsible for international expansion. From 2011 to 2017 that role was filled by Mario Bauer – put a pin in that name, he’ll play a key role in the groups fate later. Then nine months later, in the middle of 2019, Cornelius Everke quits. He essentially concludes that his skillset and experience in the areas of internation expansion is no longer needed in the foreseeable future. To put it differently: Vapiano has moved from a growth story and has become a restructuring case, and other skills are required for that job. In June of 2019 Everke says the following “(we’ve) made a bit of a mistake when it came to foreign expansion”. No sh#t. Vapiano postpones the presentation of the 2018 annual financial statements three times in the spring of 2019, citing negotiations over an urgently needed loan of 30 million euros. It’s not until the end of May that a binding loan commitment comes through from the financing banks and major shareholders. We are now in August of 2019 and the corona pandemic is just around the corner. Supervisory board chief Vanessa Hall takes over as interim-CEO and things are unravelling. Visitor numbers are declining; originally, it was planned to sell the US business but halfway through the year the buyer cannot come up with the money. But not all restaurants are performing poorly. The group's poor figures contrast starkly as an example with the experiences of the Swiss-German franchisee, who runs six restaurants. The Sodano family in Switzerland pays Vapiano a royalty of 6% of sales for the use of the brand. Enrico Sodano explains in an interview that they operate largely autonomously from the licensor. If an “accident” were to occur, he could immediately replace the Vapiano sign with Sodano, he says. The family concluded the rents and contracts with employees and suppliers independently. The Sodano family have six locations in Bern, Basel and Zurich, around one million guests every year and 350 employees. Things are going well on the ground. The delivery service they’ve built is offering them a second income stream. Expansion into Winterthur, St. Gallen and Lucerne are being planned; small locations with 150 to 250 square meters and an attached delivery service. Originally, Vapiano restaurants used to be huge but for such a large restaurant to be profitable, 800 to 1,000 guests per day are needed. That’s possible in medium-sized cities, but not in smaller towns which is why the Vapiano group now also supports smaller formats. Back to our corporate drama. The 2019 annual report would be the last report the group files. By the end 2019 the outstanding debt of the company is at an astronomical 450 million euros. Revenue has grown by another 7%, produced by four net new openings through two JVs and two franchise restaurants but operating losses come in at 317 million euros. That sound like an absolute shocker at first but depreciation and amortization charges are 345 million, so that operating cash flow is actually positive but unfortunately capital expenditures and interest payments are so large that they are eating up all of the company’s operating cash flow. Then in the beginning of 2020 Corona hits with full force and the world shuts down. As a result of the measures to prevent further spreading of the virus, the group is forced to cease all global business operations (except in Sweden). While all these shutdowns are happening, the group is the middle of negotiating with its lending banks and main shareholders. There are additional financing needs for restructuring measures, even without a pandemic happening in the background. The situation is so dire that the company starts pleading to the German government to roll out the package of financial help more quickly. Unfortunately, it’s to no end. The rapid closure of restaurants and the resulting lack of operating cash inflows in conjunction with the additional financing requirements, lead to the company’s final knockout punch. In April of 2020, the Vapiano group officially files for insolvency proceedings. The end of an era. New BeginningsBecause of the pandemic, the majority of the group's subsidiaries in Austria, the Netherlands, Denmark, the United States, Sweden, and China also file for insolvency or seek liquidation. The US business never gets sold in the end and is wound down. In the summer of 2020, significant group divestments occur, including the sale of 75% shares in the group's French subsidiaries, shares in franchisor companies, Australian subsidiaries, German subsidiaries, associated companies, self-managed restaurants in Germany, and insolvency-related sales in the Netherlands, Great Britain, and Sweden. The buyer of the Vapiano brand and one of these bundles of Vapiano restaurants is company named Love & Food Restaurant Holding, a consortium led by Mario C. Bauer – a name I told you to remember. Bauer was a former Vapiano board member and led the national and international expansion, opening 200 sites in 33 countries from 2011 to 2017 until he was succeeded by Cornelius Everke. Bauer didn’t feel comfortable with the IPO at the time but clearly has a lot of managerial and entrepreneurial talent.The buyer consortium is an absolute A-Team comprised of European QSR top league hitters, including the founder of the Pret A Manger chain Sinclair Beecham; Henry McGovern, the founder and Ex-CEO of the giant international restaurant and foodservice operator AmRest; the Van der Valk Family that runs hotels and Vapiano restaurants in the Netherlands, and co-founder and ex-CEO Gregor Gerlach. The acquisition value is 15 million euros and entails 30 Vapiano restaurants in Germany, albeit that’s just the purchase price which comes on top of any capital investment needed to refresh and return the sites to its former glory. Nevertheless, just as a thought experiment, if you can get each site to 2 million euros of revenue and 400,000 euros in operating profit on average, which wouldn’t be an overly aggressively assumption given the company’s history, you’ve got yourself a package that can deliver restaurant-level operating profits of 12 million euros or more. It’s not disclosed how much capex was needed to refresh the operations, just that fact that the overall investment plus purchase price was a middle double-digit million-euro figure. Stil, it probably was a decent purchase. The same consortium buys Vapiano’s French business for 25 million euros just two weeks prior. After the transaction concludes, the master franchise is given to Delf Neumann and his Gastro & Soul GmbH. Neumann is an experienced operator, and he is ambitious to revitalise the brand with new services and products. For example, instead of pizza, the restaurants will be serving pinsa - a flatbread made from sourdough, wheat and rice flour, topped similarly to a pizza. It targets a more health-oriented customer base looking for a less calory heavy option. The menu overall is expanded by including a variety of vegan and vegetarian dishes. https://preview.redd.it/kpt7ea6red0d1.png?width=1242&format=png&auto=webp&s=c9930ced85ee364e9df414547cae06b47a03fc19 Today Neumann’s Gastro & Soul GmbH operates 18 Vapianos on its own account and has 29 franchise sites, amongst other brands. By the year 2021, Vapiano operates 191 restaurants in 34 countries. This is around 50 fewer sites than before the bankruptcy. The number of branches is particularly thinned out in Germany – from 80 to 55. Nevertheless, Vapiano's home country remains by far the largest market, followed by France with 35 restaurants and Austria with 15 locations. “We have shrunk ourselves to health,” says Bauer in the aftermath and there is no further shrinking planned. Quite the opposite, the smell of expansion is in the air again – pun intended. Not as aggressively as before and with a new menu and ordering process. Overall, the team around Bauer is filled with industry experts with knowledge and networks gained over decades who have a great track record, a long-term view, and the staying power to let Vapiano breath and finds its way back to success. The pressure of being a public company with all the associated quarterly, half-year and yearly disincentives have been removed. The menu is changed and extended with new types of pasta and sauces with significantly more vegetarian and vegan dishes available. Guests can order with restaurant staff, at terminals or on their phones and there are barcodes attached to the tables identify the respective seat. The food is brought to your table, all at the same time if you are in a group, no more annoyances with waiting in line. There is a plan for smaller, 350 square meter locations, with half the number of guests and significantly fewer staff and less set-up costs required to make the economics work. Locations that capitalize on remote work and increased demand for local lunch options, higher population density with shorter delivery routes and therefore cost-effective in house delivery services are targeted. And Bauer is testing the concept of ghost kitchens, which operate without a dining room or service staff, focusing solely on preparing food for delivery services, which for obvious reasons have a very different operational set up and footprint. Original founder Mark Korzilius however is not entirely convinced. He is not a fan of the pinsa for instance and he considers Vapiano's pizza as its cash cow, flagship product and believes that the core Vapiano proposition of Pizza, Pasta, Bar that has given the company its original success is being diluted. He instead admires the competitor L'Osteria, saying they’ve done a better job by focusing on Italian classics, especially the impressively large pizzas that sticks out beyond the plate is leaving every customer in awe. The guys who run L’Osteria are the same guys who have built Vapiano with him in the first place. Bauer on the other hand, like a true business leader, remains undeterred, stating that he is frequently asked whether Vapiano's restart was bold or foolish. He believes in entrepreneurship, franchising, in his experienced fellow partners and importantly the Vapiano concept. By the year 2024 you can find over 140 Vapiano branded restaurant in 27 countries across the globe, including locations far away from its birthplace like Australia, USA, Columbia, Chile, Bahrain, and Saudi Arabia. And why not? Italian food is, and will remain to be, incredibly popular. Vapiano offers fresh and tasty food at affordable prices in a good atmosphere. This combination of attributes should attract a lot of customers. It certainly has in the past. For more stories: WIP Thomas Weitzendoerfer Substack |
2024.05.14 12:40 RockinBobbyDoyle Router Issues-Desperate
I’m paying Spectrum for 500mbps and have buffering several times a day on the two TVs we have. Speed Tests on the computer range from 60-80mbps. I unplug the router and modem and restart every other day. When I plug the modem Ethernet directly into the computer I get 300 mbps. On my iPhone I get 250-275mbps. I’m using a Deco AX1800-X20 whole home WiFi 6 mesh router. It has 3 units, I have evenly spaced around house. (2 downstairs, 1 upstairs Deco says up to 5,800 sq feet, we have 1550 downstairs and 725 upstairs. Houses are close together where we live, I see several neighbors WiFi. Mine is secured. My firmware is up to date. I’ve never messed with the settings on the router. Is there anything I can do to stop the buffering? I’d buy new equipment if it would make things better. Thanks in advance.
submitted by RockinBobbyDoyle to computers [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 12:38 SimplySpikedLemonade I’m in love with my best friend but she doesn’t love me back
Tale as old as time I guess. I’m (33M) in love with my best friend (29F), and I’m just stuck at a crossroads right now. I’m divorced and was raised in a high control religion where I did not have freedom to date. I decided to put myself back out there last year after secluding myself for so long and ended up meeting some really great friends.
One of them was her.
We quickly became friends, and I knew something was different about her right from the start. The first night that I met her while we were out with mutual friends, we talked for hours, it was like an instant connection which I had not ever experienced before. On my ride home that night I had a biggest smile on my face from the moment we hugged goodbye to the moment I fell asleep.
We started hanging out frequently, but it turned out that she started seeing another guy right around the time we met. That hurt a bit but I decided to just build a friendship with her. Over the next few months we remained in contact as close friends. I didn’t date anyone in that time period, but was also dealing with some shit on and off from my ex and couldn’t really bring myself to do anything anyway.
Fast forward to February and she has called things off with the guy she was seeing, and I’ve dealt with my ex situation. We start hanging out heavily, it goes from every week to multiple times a week, then to nearly every other day if not every day. We start sleeping over at each others places, we workout together, I meet and start becoming close with her family, and we basically text or call each other nonstop. We’ve become best friends, we both agree that we can talk to each other about anything, and can 1000% be ourselves around each other. This is especially new for me, who grew up learning to supress my personality.
I tell her that I’ve developed feelings for her, but she tells me that she just wants to remain friends. It hurts but she’s the closest person to me in my life and I don’t want to lose that, so I decide to try to just tamp down my feelings. We continue hanging out all the time like normal, until a few days ago. She tells me that she has agreed to go out on a date with someone, and I just feel my entire world collapse in an instant. Now we are trying to navigate this and reevaluate our relationship, because she can read me like a book and knew the instant she told me that it was a dagger in my heart, despite me trying to hold it together.
I just don’t know what to do now. I’ve never been this close with anyone, not even my ex as crazy as that sounds. She is starting to distance herself from me and it hurts more than almost anything I’ve ever experienced. I just don’t want to lose the connection we have. What makes it worse is that, due to my religious background, I don’t have a good relationship with my family, and I was starting to feel like I was part of her family with how often I was around them. She told me a few weeks ago that I was her “person” and she is mine.
I just feel completely lost.
Tl;dr I’m in love with my best friend but she does not love me back despite wanting to be with me almost all the time, and I just don’t know what to do.
submitted by SimplySpikedLemonade to relationships [link] [comments]
One of them was her.
We quickly became friends, and I knew something was different about her right from the start. The first night that I met her while we were out with mutual friends, we talked for hours, it was like an instant connection which I had not ever experienced before. On my ride home that night I had a biggest smile on my face from the moment we hugged goodbye to the moment I fell asleep.
We started hanging out frequently, but it turned out that she started seeing another guy right around the time we met. That hurt a bit but I decided to just build a friendship with her. Over the next few months we remained in contact as close friends. I didn’t date anyone in that time period, but was also dealing with some shit on and off from my ex and couldn’t really bring myself to do anything anyway.
Fast forward to February and she has called things off with the guy she was seeing, and I’ve dealt with my ex situation. We start hanging out heavily, it goes from every week to multiple times a week, then to nearly every other day if not every day. We start sleeping over at each others places, we workout together, I meet and start becoming close with her family, and we basically text or call each other nonstop. We’ve become best friends, we both agree that we can talk to each other about anything, and can 1000% be ourselves around each other. This is especially new for me, who grew up learning to supress my personality.
I tell her that I’ve developed feelings for her, but she tells me that she just wants to remain friends. It hurts but she’s the closest person to me in my life and I don’t want to lose that, so I decide to try to just tamp down my feelings. We continue hanging out all the time like normal, until a few days ago. She tells me that she has agreed to go out on a date with someone, and I just feel my entire world collapse in an instant. Now we are trying to navigate this and reevaluate our relationship, because she can read me like a book and knew the instant she told me that it was a dagger in my heart, despite me trying to hold it together.
I just don’t know what to do now. I’ve never been this close with anyone, not even my ex as crazy as that sounds. She is starting to distance herself from me and it hurts more than almost anything I’ve ever experienced. I just don’t want to lose the connection we have. What makes it worse is that, due to my religious background, I don’t have a good relationship with my family, and I was starting to feel like I was part of her family with how often I was around them. She told me a few weeks ago that I was her “person” and she is mine.
I just feel completely lost.
Tl;dr I’m in love with my best friend but she does not love me back despite wanting to be with me almost all the time, and I just don’t know what to do.
2024.05.14 12:38 Lord_PanDA_ Roku Overheating? Here're 9 Hot Fixes to Cool Down Your Roku
 | Is your Roku turning into a little oven more often than you’d like? submitted by Lord_PanDA_ to FixRoku [link] [comments] No need to sweat it—here are nine cool fixes to prevent your Roku from overheating, all tried and true either from our extensive tech tests or proven successfully by the online community. If you’re looking for a step-by-step guide complete with demo images for each solution, just check out the hyperlink under the solution's name.
https://pointerclicker.com/why-do-roku-sticks-get-hot/ Got a Roku that’s heating up? Tried any of these fixes? Share your experience or ask for more tips in the comments below! https://preview.redd.it/qmyoop1ped0d1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3762032d9a3759d110f854e9355938bf38716ced |
2024.05.14 12:35 DirtZealousideal9270 AITAH for thinking of leaving my SO because she is not and does not have a plan to be financially independent?
Throwaway account.
My wife (31F) and I (35M) have been married for 4 years now. We both are from South East Asia who went through an arranged marriage. We met online about 5 years ago. At the time, I lived in North America and she lived in her home country. We chatted on the phone and spent significant time on calls to get to know each other, I even flew down for a few days to meet her the same year. We took some time to know each other and decided to get married about 7 to 8 months after our introduction.
About 2 months before my marriage, my parents pressured (a whole lot of family drama) me into moving back to my home country. They wanted me to spend some time(about 5 months) with them after our marriage as I was away from them for 5 years or so. Though I hated this whole situation, I headed to their request (regretfully so) and moved back to my country. As a retaliation my then soon to be wife quit her job. To this day she refuses to accept that it was a retaliation, instead she claims it was too difficult for her to juggle between work and giving attention to marriage preparations, so she quit her Job.
I had never wanted to live in my home country, never felt I belonged there. When I decided to move back to my country, I had prepared myself well to not take any support from my parents. So, I had applied for another visa, had planned & paid for our honeymoon, saved enough to survive about a year in my home country without a job and had enough money to move back once my new visa gets approved.
Her quitting the job before our marriage was her decision, and I understand to certain aspect. At the time she lived in a different city than mine and after marriage she wanted to find work in the city that I would end up residing in. Also, we had plans to move to North America after our wedding anyways, so this made sense at the time. We had agreed to do our individual visa's coz I didn’t want her to move countries on a dependent visa, just so that she does not lose her career growth or leave North America if we ever split. We both were supposed to apply for the visa before our marriage date, I applied mine 4 months before our marriage. She was still figuring it out until our wedding date. I got my visa a couple of weeks after our wedding, but she was not able to secure her visa as she couldn't score enough in her English proficiency (not because she lacks the skill, English is her native tongue and has a good hold on the language). I tried to give her time, motivation and any kind of financial support that she needs to clear all visa requirements. But it was too late. Pandemic hit, borders were shut, so were government offices. I moved out of my country 7 months after our marriage amid a lot of pandemic restrictions. My wife promised she would continue to pursue applying for the visa while I leave the country and establish myself again.
1 year later, still no progress in her visa application, no change in employment status. She was living with her parents, and passed all her leisurely expenses to me coz I was "her husband". My family is not the best to work with, so my wife kept blaming that my parents stressed her enough to not pursue her carrier nor focus on the visa application. In the meanwhile, I was supporting my family financially(I owe them funding my college education) and my wife coz she couldn't find a job during the pandemic, while I was surviving my temporary low income job. Surviving with just bare minimum and sending home literally every surplus I earned by picking extra shifts. Fine. Pandemic restrictions started to ease further about 1.5 - 2 years after our marriage. By this time, I had a good job, was earning well enough. I flew back to my country to register our marriage and start her visa application as my dependent. She knew it would be a while before she gets her visa because of the back log and she agreed to look for work until we unite again in North America. She kept saying she is applying without any positive result. After a lot of argument, she confessed she wasn't looking for jobs with complete focus.
In the meantime I am going back to my country every year until her dependency visa was processed just so that she does not get depressed because of the long distance relationship.
Finally after a lot of effort, my wife finally got her visa approved, and I immediately booked her flight so that this long distance ordeal might end. She landed in my city a year ago. She had promised to start looking for job right after she landed, especially picking up temporary jobs until she gets something in her field of education. She has been jobless for more than 3 years by now. We were in our honeymoon phase for about 4 - 5 months after she had moved in with me. She got a job at a grocery store, which she worked briefly (~3 months), and would always complain about pains, how horrible the job is compared to her job back home, how beneath her standards were mopping the floors.
She wanted our first anniversary together to be an overseas trip, so I booked a trip for which she was supposed to pitch in half using her pay from the temporary job. She was asked to leave the job a month before the trip and I took care of the expense, this was unplanned for me, so had to move money around to make this happen.
She just completed 1 year of stay about a month ago. This milestone has taken a toll on me. We had a very bad argument, during which she confessed she knew she needed to bridge her overseas education courses with a fresh course in the new country. Which is about 6 months long and costs lesser than our anniversary trip. She didn't want to ask me money for her education, coz she felt I have spent enough money on her? What? It goes beyond me why a person would think a trip is more important than an education that would put her back in the job market.
She loves me a lot, she takes care of me, she is affectionate for which I am grateful for her. But I very much feel my future is not going to be wise to me if I continue to live with her. Post our argument which was a month ago, I had walked her through a few things to get some fee waiver and asked her to find a temporary job to fund this education. I don't see any improvements and I strongly suspect she has already missed deadlines to do this bridging course from reputed universities. I do not want to wait to get disappointed at her again. Am I an asshole to think she should have been financially independent by now? Am I an asshole for asking her to pitch in on our anniversary trip? Am I an asshole for thinking that I should end this marriage and cancel her dependency visa? I feel I will be better off alone.
TLDR: My wife quit her job just before our marriage and has not worked a stable job in the last 5 years of our marriage. We are now in a new country and it doesn't look like she will be able to get a job in the near future without a bridging course which she has missed her deadline to apply.
submitted by DirtZealousideal9270 to AITAH [link] [comments]
My wife (31F) and I (35M) have been married for 4 years now. We both are from South East Asia who went through an arranged marriage. We met online about 5 years ago. At the time, I lived in North America and she lived in her home country. We chatted on the phone and spent significant time on calls to get to know each other, I even flew down for a few days to meet her the same year. We took some time to know each other and decided to get married about 7 to 8 months after our introduction.
About 2 months before my marriage, my parents pressured (a whole lot of family drama) me into moving back to my home country. They wanted me to spend some time(about 5 months) with them after our marriage as I was away from them for 5 years or so. Though I hated this whole situation, I headed to their request (regretfully so) and moved back to my country. As a retaliation my then soon to be wife quit her job. To this day she refuses to accept that it was a retaliation, instead she claims it was too difficult for her to juggle between work and giving attention to marriage preparations, so she quit her Job.
I had never wanted to live in my home country, never felt I belonged there. When I decided to move back to my country, I had prepared myself well to not take any support from my parents. So, I had applied for another visa, had planned & paid for our honeymoon, saved enough to survive about a year in my home country without a job and had enough money to move back once my new visa gets approved.
Her quitting the job before our marriage was her decision, and I understand to certain aspect. At the time she lived in a different city than mine and after marriage she wanted to find work in the city that I would end up residing in. Also, we had plans to move to North America after our wedding anyways, so this made sense at the time. We had agreed to do our individual visa's coz I didn’t want her to move countries on a dependent visa, just so that she does not lose her career growth or leave North America if we ever split. We both were supposed to apply for the visa before our marriage date, I applied mine 4 months before our marriage. She was still figuring it out until our wedding date. I got my visa a couple of weeks after our wedding, but she was not able to secure her visa as she couldn't score enough in her English proficiency (not because she lacks the skill, English is her native tongue and has a good hold on the language). I tried to give her time, motivation and any kind of financial support that she needs to clear all visa requirements. But it was too late. Pandemic hit, borders were shut, so were government offices. I moved out of my country 7 months after our marriage amid a lot of pandemic restrictions. My wife promised she would continue to pursue applying for the visa while I leave the country and establish myself again.
1 year later, still no progress in her visa application, no change in employment status. She was living with her parents, and passed all her leisurely expenses to me coz I was "her husband". My family is not the best to work with, so my wife kept blaming that my parents stressed her enough to not pursue her carrier nor focus on the visa application. In the meanwhile, I was supporting my family financially(I owe them funding my college education) and my wife coz she couldn't find a job during the pandemic, while I was surviving my temporary low income job. Surviving with just bare minimum and sending home literally every surplus I earned by picking extra shifts. Fine. Pandemic restrictions started to ease further about 1.5 - 2 years after our marriage. By this time, I had a good job, was earning well enough. I flew back to my country to register our marriage and start her visa application as my dependent. She knew it would be a while before she gets her visa because of the back log and she agreed to look for work until we unite again in North America. She kept saying she is applying without any positive result. After a lot of argument, she confessed she wasn't looking for jobs with complete focus.
In the meantime I am going back to my country every year until her dependency visa was processed just so that she does not get depressed because of the long distance relationship.
Finally after a lot of effort, my wife finally got her visa approved, and I immediately booked her flight so that this long distance ordeal might end. She landed in my city a year ago. She had promised to start looking for job right after she landed, especially picking up temporary jobs until she gets something in her field of education. She has been jobless for more than 3 years by now. We were in our honeymoon phase for about 4 - 5 months after she had moved in with me. She got a job at a grocery store, which she worked briefly (~3 months), and would always complain about pains, how horrible the job is compared to her job back home, how beneath her standards were mopping the floors.
She wanted our first anniversary together to be an overseas trip, so I booked a trip for which she was supposed to pitch in half using her pay from the temporary job. She was asked to leave the job a month before the trip and I took care of the expense, this was unplanned for me, so had to move money around to make this happen.
She just completed 1 year of stay about a month ago. This milestone has taken a toll on me. We had a very bad argument, during which she confessed she knew she needed to bridge her overseas education courses with a fresh course in the new country. Which is about 6 months long and costs lesser than our anniversary trip. She didn't want to ask me money for her education, coz she felt I have spent enough money on her? What? It goes beyond me why a person would think a trip is more important than an education that would put her back in the job market.
She loves me a lot, she takes care of me, she is affectionate for which I am grateful for her. But I very much feel my future is not going to be wise to me if I continue to live with her. Post our argument which was a month ago, I had walked her through a few things to get some fee waiver and asked her to find a temporary job to fund this education. I don't see any improvements and I strongly suspect she has already missed deadlines to do this bridging course from reputed universities. I do not want to wait to get disappointed at her again. Am I an asshole to think she should have been financially independent by now? Am I an asshole for asking her to pitch in on our anniversary trip? Am I an asshole for thinking that I should end this marriage and cancel her dependency visa? I feel I will be better off alone.
TLDR: My wife quit her job just before our marriage and has not worked a stable job in the last 5 years of our marriage. We are now in a new country and it doesn't look like she will be able to get a job in the near future without a bridging course which she has missed her deadline to apply.
2024.05.14 12:34 Choc-Blocked Shy Girl At Work
There's a girl in my old workplace I think about still frequently. I've never had so many mixed signals.
Context: Work together in a restaurant in Europe with live-in staff accommodation.
Me: 36, 5'7 150 pounds, used to be beautiful but my face has melted with age.
Her: 23/24 (had birthday) petite and slender, very quiet and softly spoken. Not outright antisocial but just struggles to think of things to say, much like myself. Lots of eye contact when we talk but little otherwise. She makes even less with others. All we ever did was make small talk really. Nose ring. Possible nipple ring.
Reasons she might like me: (in chronological order from arriving to quitting, first four are very mild)
Before we started a shift together and introduced myself, I pass her a couple of times on my induction. The first she mentions to her female friend she needs a haircut and the second time she has got a super low cut top on (never seen her wear it before or since).
We meet properly and I think it goes OK. I compliment her voice and she smiles. I compliment her again at the end and she brushes the front of her hair, looks pleased and slightly flustered.
The next 10 or so days nothing much at all happens we just make small talk like always and are nice to each other. I think I can see a nipple piercing but can never quite tell.
Came downstairs when I was working and asked if I wanted some small packets of chips she bought and didn't like. I say sure and give her some change.
OK here we go. I come down to start my shift and she catches me just before we go in. She is completely dolled up, with pink pigtails, and says her name tag has broke, rubbing her boob over her clothing where the tag should go. I just look and smile and go oh and walk off with a semi (sigh). She follows me into the dining room and says she has fixed it now. All my **** tier gane can manage is "have you got any tattoos" She rolls up her sleeve crazy quick and shows me one on her shoulder. I say it looks expensive and walk off. 2 mins later she wants to practise my waitering skills by pretending to be a customer. She sits at a table and I go "what can I get you, young lady? In my best flirty voice. I think a customer came in at that point so we stopped. *Later she pretends to through a pen at me with a big smile, she then walks over and gives it me. *She clocks me out my shift for me. Fin.
We were polishing cutlery in the back alone for the first time (she said the supervisor had sent her) and she said do you wanna listen to music, she puts Fantasy by Maria Carey on my phone?
Another colleague asked if I wanted to go for a walk with her dog, we did but she is a piss head and I have zero attraction. Two days later, I see X again and in the loudest voice I've ever heard her use, just blurts out I banged on the window and waved out you yesterday! I didn't see her. I just go should have knocked harder then and go into a different room briefly. She then sits next to me for a bit.
Next day says she waved again. Again I have missed it. Stands next to me during the fire drill.
She went home for her birthday and has gotten her nails done. They look nice and all, but she is constantly flaunting them at me (stroking the radiator, the clipboard whilst I'm next to her.) I say they look expensive, then remember I said the sane compliment about her tatt (sigh).
***Reasons she doesn't like me
*Has never ever touched me apart from accidental very brief, platonic fingehand touching when passing items to each other.
*Never brought up sexual topics/things once.
In two months has touched three other male coworkers once each, one on the back, the others pretending to dust *** off their uniform. The WEIRD thing was they were all just as I had entered the room? She went on a date with one of them before I started, but she said nothing happened, and him and the other guy displayed absolutely zero interest in her sexually at any time (didn't touch her back) He left about 1 week after I started.
She did go for at least one walk with thr guy and for drinks with him and supervisor. They invited her but not me. I saw them all and they spotted me and turned round and she waved briefly. I left shortly after.
Towards the end she wad pining (exaggeration but only just) for the supervisor guy when he's not there. I think she means it in a work context as she is put in charge when he's not there and struggles a lil bit because of her quietness. But what do I know?
I mentioned the kitchen staff thought I was gay, and she said "are you?" in a strange stern tone.
I leave job. I still have some feelings for her. I need closure (she had no socials I can contact her on).
Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.
submitted by Choc-Blocked to Crushes [link] [comments]
Context: Work together in a restaurant in Europe with live-in staff accommodation.
Me: 36, 5'7 150 pounds, used to be beautiful but my face has melted with age.
Her: 23/24 (had birthday) petite and slender, very quiet and softly spoken. Not outright antisocial but just struggles to think of things to say, much like myself. Lots of eye contact when we talk but little otherwise. She makes even less with others. All we ever did was make small talk really. Nose ring. Possible nipple ring.
Reasons she might like me: (in chronological order from arriving to quitting, first four are very mild)
Before we started a shift together and introduced myself, I pass her a couple of times on my induction. The first she mentions to her female friend she needs a haircut and the second time she has got a super low cut top on (never seen her wear it before or since).
We meet properly and I think it goes OK. I compliment her voice and she smiles. I compliment her again at the end and she brushes the front of her hair, looks pleased and slightly flustered.
The next 10 or so days nothing much at all happens we just make small talk like always and are nice to each other. I think I can see a nipple piercing but can never quite tell.
Came downstairs when I was working and asked if I wanted some small packets of chips she bought and didn't like. I say sure and give her some change.
OK here we go. I come down to start my shift and she catches me just before we go in. She is completely dolled up, with pink pigtails, and says her name tag has broke, rubbing her boob over her clothing where the tag should go. I just look and smile and go oh and walk off with a semi (sigh). She follows me into the dining room and says she has fixed it now. All my **** tier gane can manage is "have you got any tattoos" She rolls up her sleeve crazy quick and shows me one on her shoulder. I say it looks expensive and walk off. 2 mins later she wants to practise my waitering skills by pretending to be a customer. She sits at a table and I go "what can I get you, young lady? In my best flirty voice. I think a customer came in at that point so we stopped. *Later she pretends to through a pen at me with a big smile, she then walks over and gives it me. *She clocks me out my shift for me. Fin.
We were polishing cutlery in the back alone for the first time (she said the supervisor had sent her) and she said do you wanna listen to music, she puts Fantasy by Maria Carey on my phone?
Another colleague asked if I wanted to go for a walk with her dog, we did but she is a piss head and I have zero attraction. Two days later, I see X again and in the loudest voice I've ever heard her use, just blurts out I banged on the window and waved out you yesterday! I didn't see her. I just go should have knocked harder then and go into a different room briefly. She then sits next to me for a bit.
Next day says she waved again. Again I have missed it. Stands next to me during the fire drill.
She went home for her birthday and has gotten her nails done. They look nice and all, but she is constantly flaunting them at me (stroking the radiator, the clipboard whilst I'm next to her.) I say they look expensive, then remember I said the sane compliment about her tatt (sigh).
***Reasons she doesn't like me
*Has never ever touched me apart from accidental very brief, platonic fingehand touching when passing items to each other.
*Never brought up sexual topics/things once.
In two months has touched three other male coworkers once each, one on the back, the others pretending to dust *** off their uniform. The WEIRD thing was they were all just as I had entered the room? She went on a date with one of them before I started, but she said nothing happened, and him and the other guy displayed absolutely zero interest in her sexually at any time (didn't touch her back) He left about 1 week after I started.
She did go for at least one walk with thr guy and for drinks with him and supervisor. They invited her but not me. I saw them all and they spotted me and turned round and she waved briefly. I left shortly after.
Towards the end she wad pining (exaggeration but only just) for the supervisor guy when he's not there. I think she means it in a work context as she is put in charge when he's not there and struggles a lil bit because of her quietness. But what do I know?
I mentioned the kitchen staff thought I was gay, and she said "are you?" in a strange stern tone.
I leave job. I still have some feelings for her. I need closure (she had no socials I can contact her on).
Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.
2024.05.14 12:34 Bubbly-Emu95 Ex boyfriend (30M) wants an abortion, I (28F) want to keep the baby but I am scared to raise the baby on my own
I am currently 6 weeks pregnant with my ex boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. We spent the last 2 years having sex almost everyday without contraceptives, as we were ready for any risks, we were not actively trying, but not actively preventing.
We decided to take a break due to arguments over the past month, and on our last day together, we had unprotective sex (we didn’t have sex for 3 weeks at that point). I took a test upon unusual symptoms and missed period, and discovered I am pregnant.
I informed him last week and I think he’s still in denial. He asked me to go for a scan to confirm so he can tell his parents and he has expressed that he doesn’t think it’s a good time for him, and I should get an abortion. He is not ready for fatherhood and doesn’t see that we can work things out in the future. I encouraged him to reconcile, not as a couple, but as civil adults to make communications easier in the following weeks or potentially years. He refused and told me I should talk to people for advice. I have spoke to my best friends and I don’t have a solution, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want my child to grow up without a father figure but I also don’t want to have this kind of father in its life. I only had one sex partner my whole life so there is no possibility that he is not the father. I’m personally also not ready to raise the child as a single mother without support. If this pregnancy happened few months back, I would not have the same doubts I currently have. I considered abortion after the conversation with him but I don’t want to end my own child’s life because of our unresolved issues. My family don’t live in the same country as me, so I will not have day-to-day help. My friends are supportive but I don’t think it’s realistic for me to raise the baby without a partner. I have all sorts of concerns and I am not in the right headspace at the moment to be thinking clearly.
For context - I (28F) moved in to live with my boyfriend (30M) after 2 years of dating, we barely had any disagreements throughout the first 2 years, we were both in love, and decided that we were ready for our next stages in life so we moved in together. We were certain that we were compatible despite our differences in interests - we are very different people in the best ways, and grew to love and learn of each other’s character. Our lives are very intertwined, and our respective friend groups are very involved in our lives. We had a healthy lifestyle and socially active ever since we got together.
Fast forward to 2 months ago, we were discussing wedding plans. We previously agreed that we would move in together > get engaged > married > have children. I expressed that I didn’t really want to move in together until I get a reassurance from him this is for lifetime, he told me not to worry because he already had plans to propose to me and it’s ok to move in first and then get married as we are living together. He suggested that we could plan the wedding first because weddings take at least a year ahead to plan, and the proposal will happen sometime later this year. Our first big argument came because of his unrealistic expectations and lack of logic and sense in event planning (he was never really a planner or an organized person, I do most of our travel logistics and household plannings).
Few weeks later I discovered that he was withholding his plans made with a colleague that I didn’t particularly liked, I felt strange that he had to hide this fact from me. I don’t believe that he was disloyal or anything but I didn’t understand why he lied. I exploded, demanded to check his phone, then I discovered more things he was hiding from me, including going on walks during lunch with the same female colleagues. I also discovered the group chat with his boys where they were making jokes about us getting married. I was livid and we argued over our definition of commitment, I questioned his maturity and his intentions to settle. He told me he was ready to settle with me, and suggested that we go pick out rings the next day.
The real issue came in when he called his parents to ask them for their blessing in our marriage. His parents disapproved, and called me materialistic, questioned my family, my social circle, my religion, my political views… etc. My boyfriend could’ve easily justified every one of the points they have made about me but I guess he was too in shock of their response to defend me. His parents never really agreed with our relationship to begin with, they never wanted him to date and thinks he should be focused on his career at this age rather than dating, despite this we spent every holidays and celebrations the last two years with his family and we thought they have grown to accept me as they had been very friendly with me, I guess it was all a facade. I was disappointed and lashed out at him. And somehow our previous issue with his ‘commitment’ was brushed under the rug.
He says he cannot propose to me when he doesn’t have his parents blessing. I gave him a deadline the next day to make a decision, if he cannot talk it out with his parents then I will have to let this end. He came back the next day, and told me his dad apologized and would like to reconcile with me. And he came back to tell me he was ready to settle.
The following weeks we continued to have smaller disagreements and I was still uncomfortable to face his parents, as he would return home a different person, and treats me worse every time after every time he had met up with his parents. Before all these issues, we had made plans to visit my grandparents and his extended family who were both living in the same country. On our way there, I expressed that I would want to remain with my grandparents and not join his family trip as I’m not ready to face his parents yet. He tried to persuade me to go and that his parents will apologize to me, but I was still very uncomfortable. I told him I’ll only go if he can give me reassurance and that I will only go on another family trip with him if he can give me the status as his fiancé before I can face them. He said if he were to propose to me now he cannot face his parents, and he told his parents he has plans to propose to me on this trip, but they insisted that they should reconcile with me before he can propose as I would potentially “steal their grandchildren away from them” in the future if we don’t make up. He told me he even brought the ring with him but he can’t do it. I walked away from him, I felt so betrayed and lost in a foreign country. I got very emotional and told him he made feel worthless and want to end my life. I was not in the right headspace after a whole month of torment and I didn’t have the energy to reason with him any longer. I gave in and proceeded with the rest of our trip.
The day before we went to meet his family, I told him I wanted to go somewhere else instead and I still wasn’t ready. When he was making changes to our tickets, I saw his sister’s message on his phone, saying that it’ll be better in the long run if he sort out the parents issue first and don’t propose to me yet. I snatched his phone and spoke with his sister. After I told her everything, she apologized and gave me the reassurance that their family will treat me with respect and will apologize to me the first thing they see me, and that they just want to reconcile before we move forward to the next stage in life. I felt it was reasonable and reassured after my conversation with her, so I decided to give it a go.
When we did finally meet up with his parents, they pretended as if nothing has happened. Few days later we finally had the ‘conversation’. His dad started off by saying he doesn’t think it’s appropriate for us to get married at the moment, and kept going on about their same points again, he said our relationship hasn’t been long enough for us to decide marriage at this stage. They claimed their comments weren’t a personal attack, they didn’t apologize and said that I was ‘thinking too much’ for this to be a personal attack because it was simply a generalization, then dismissed me for being upset for hearing from my bf because he wasn’t supposed to tell me, and proceeds to keep commenting about me and my friends and how they disagree with their celebrations of weddings.
I respectfully explained we are not having these discussions about marriage out of no where, we have been having discussions on marriage throughout our 2 years. In fact our plans to have children was the basis of our relationship and were his requirements, and we just want to move forward with the next part of our lives. His mom doesn’t think I need to think about having children at this moment and it’s not a good time for us to have children, because she had kids much later in life and apparently so is everyone else, and we shouldn’t be following my ‘timeline’ on when things should be happening. Apparently I should not have such control over the timing of giving birth ‘like a reproduction machine’, and it’s not right to have to set such timeline on how much time I need for recovery and time between having each children. She asks why do we feel the need and so early in life to get married now? And ditch your own families and start your own life.
His dad said I should not decide right now how many kids we need to have and it’s rather in gods hands to decide, and some people are not even be able to have more than 1 kid, I asked him why is this relevant in regards to our plans to have kids… so I have to listen to god now and have kids without planning? And then he started giving this bs about god and how we are not meant to plan ‘these things’ out in life so specifically. I asked him: What is wrong with being practical and setting realistic goals. He claimed he doesn’t think it’s wrong to have plans but we shouldn’t be so set and ‘controlling’ over our own lives. He has experience and we should listen to the grown ups with experience… I knew the conversation wasn’t going to get anywhere as soon as he brings religion into this.
My boyfriend just stood there in silence. After the conversation ended we both walked away from his parents, he apologized to me and told me he’s sorry for any of the things his parents have said to me and I didn’t deserve it. He says he won’t listen to his parents anymore, and he knows how to make this right, and he will propose once we return to my grandparent’s place. I didn’t challenge him anymore because I that was the reassurance I needed from him, and I was happy that he was finally able to see his parents for who they are.
The following days of the trip, his dad tried to isolate him from rest of the family to give him the same lecture. Every time he rejoins the group I can see from his expression that their conversation did not go well, I didn’t comment. On the day we returned to my grandparent’s home, he told me he can’t follow through with his promises. And his dad told him he should feel guilty for making promises to me and be pressured into marriage. Somehow this convinced himself into thinking he’s not ready for marriage all along. I walked away from him and we spent 3 days apart before our flight to return home.
On our last day, we met up for closure, talked through what happened and we had sex. I told him I wasn’t ready to fly back home with him and I didn’t want to fall back into the vicious cycle of arguments, and that we should have some time to cool things down before we reconnect. We agreed to give each other some space and he wants to learn more about himself before he makes commitment to me as he doesn’t want to disappoint me again.
A week after he got back, he told me he wants to move out of our co-rented apartment, and he wants to break lease. I was a bit confused because I thought he wanted to work on himself, and him moving out essentially is an indication of a break up to me. He said if I don’t let him move out, I’m not giving him space to work on himself. I didn’t really have an option so I agreed. We didn’t talk afterwards.
3 weeks later, I missed my period, I took a test and was positive.
submitted by Bubbly-Emu95 to pregnant [link] [comments]
We decided to take a break due to arguments over the past month, and on our last day together, we had unprotective sex (we didn’t have sex for 3 weeks at that point). I took a test upon unusual symptoms and missed period, and discovered I am pregnant.
I informed him last week and I think he’s still in denial. He asked me to go for a scan to confirm so he can tell his parents and he has expressed that he doesn’t think it’s a good time for him, and I should get an abortion. He is not ready for fatherhood and doesn’t see that we can work things out in the future. I encouraged him to reconcile, not as a couple, but as civil adults to make communications easier in the following weeks or potentially years. He refused and told me I should talk to people for advice. I have spoke to my best friends and I don’t have a solution, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want my child to grow up without a father figure but I also don’t want to have this kind of father in its life. I only had one sex partner my whole life so there is no possibility that he is not the father. I’m personally also not ready to raise the child as a single mother without support. If this pregnancy happened few months back, I would not have the same doubts I currently have. I considered abortion after the conversation with him but I don’t want to end my own child’s life because of our unresolved issues. My family don’t live in the same country as me, so I will not have day-to-day help. My friends are supportive but I don’t think it’s realistic for me to raise the baby without a partner. I have all sorts of concerns and I am not in the right headspace at the moment to be thinking clearly.
For context - I (28F) moved in to live with my boyfriend (30M) after 2 years of dating, we barely had any disagreements throughout the first 2 years, we were both in love, and decided that we were ready for our next stages in life so we moved in together. We were certain that we were compatible despite our differences in interests - we are very different people in the best ways, and grew to love and learn of each other’s character. Our lives are very intertwined, and our respective friend groups are very involved in our lives. We had a healthy lifestyle and socially active ever since we got together.
Fast forward to 2 months ago, we were discussing wedding plans. We previously agreed that we would move in together > get engaged > married > have children. I expressed that I didn’t really want to move in together until I get a reassurance from him this is for lifetime, he told me not to worry because he already had plans to propose to me and it’s ok to move in first and then get married as we are living together. He suggested that we could plan the wedding first because weddings take at least a year ahead to plan, and the proposal will happen sometime later this year. Our first big argument came because of his unrealistic expectations and lack of logic and sense in event planning (he was never really a planner or an organized person, I do most of our travel logistics and household plannings).
Few weeks later I discovered that he was withholding his plans made with a colleague that I didn’t particularly liked, I felt strange that he had to hide this fact from me. I don’t believe that he was disloyal or anything but I didn’t understand why he lied. I exploded, demanded to check his phone, then I discovered more things he was hiding from me, including going on walks during lunch with the same female colleagues. I also discovered the group chat with his boys where they were making jokes about us getting married. I was livid and we argued over our definition of commitment, I questioned his maturity and his intentions to settle. He told me he was ready to settle with me, and suggested that we go pick out rings the next day.
The real issue came in when he called his parents to ask them for their blessing in our marriage. His parents disapproved, and called me materialistic, questioned my family, my social circle, my religion, my political views… etc. My boyfriend could’ve easily justified every one of the points they have made about me but I guess he was too in shock of their response to defend me. His parents never really agreed with our relationship to begin with, they never wanted him to date and thinks he should be focused on his career at this age rather than dating, despite this we spent every holidays and celebrations the last two years with his family and we thought they have grown to accept me as they had been very friendly with me, I guess it was all a facade. I was disappointed and lashed out at him. And somehow our previous issue with his ‘commitment’ was brushed under the rug.
He says he cannot propose to me when he doesn’t have his parents blessing. I gave him a deadline the next day to make a decision, if he cannot talk it out with his parents then I will have to let this end. He came back the next day, and told me his dad apologized and would like to reconcile with me. And he came back to tell me he was ready to settle.
The following weeks we continued to have smaller disagreements and I was still uncomfortable to face his parents, as he would return home a different person, and treats me worse every time after every time he had met up with his parents. Before all these issues, we had made plans to visit my grandparents and his extended family who were both living in the same country. On our way there, I expressed that I would want to remain with my grandparents and not join his family trip as I’m not ready to face his parents yet. He tried to persuade me to go and that his parents will apologize to me, but I was still very uncomfortable. I told him I’ll only go if he can give me reassurance and that I will only go on another family trip with him if he can give me the status as his fiancé before I can face them. He said if he were to propose to me now he cannot face his parents, and he told his parents he has plans to propose to me on this trip, but they insisted that they should reconcile with me before he can propose as I would potentially “steal their grandchildren away from them” in the future if we don’t make up. He told me he even brought the ring with him but he can’t do it. I walked away from him, I felt so betrayed and lost in a foreign country. I got very emotional and told him he made feel worthless and want to end my life. I was not in the right headspace after a whole month of torment and I didn’t have the energy to reason with him any longer. I gave in and proceeded with the rest of our trip.
The day before we went to meet his family, I told him I wanted to go somewhere else instead and I still wasn’t ready. When he was making changes to our tickets, I saw his sister’s message on his phone, saying that it’ll be better in the long run if he sort out the parents issue first and don’t propose to me yet. I snatched his phone and spoke with his sister. After I told her everything, she apologized and gave me the reassurance that their family will treat me with respect and will apologize to me the first thing they see me, and that they just want to reconcile before we move forward to the next stage in life. I felt it was reasonable and reassured after my conversation with her, so I decided to give it a go.
When we did finally meet up with his parents, they pretended as if nothing has happened. Few days later we finally had the ‘conversation’. His dad started off by saying he doesn’t think it’s appropriate for us to get married at the moment, and kept going on about their same points again, he said our relationship hasn’t been long enough for us to decide marriage at this stage. They claimed their comments weren’t a personal attack, they didn’t apologize and said that I was ‘thinking too much’ for this to be a personal attack because it was simply a generalization, then dismissed me for being upset for hearing from my bf because he wasn’t supposed to tell me, and proceeds to keep commenting about me and my friends and how they disagree with their celebrations of weddings.
I respectfully explained we are not having these discussions about marriage out of no where, we have been having discussions on marriage throughout our 2 years. In fact our plans to have children was the basis of our relationship and were his requirements, and we just want to move forward with the next part of our lives. His mom doesn’t think I need to think about having children at this moment and it’s not a good time for us to have children, because she had kids much later in life and apparently so is everyone else, and we shouldn’t be following my ‘timeline’ on when things should be happening. Apparently I should not have such control over the timing of giving birth ‘like a reproduction machine’, and it’s not right to have to set such timeline on how much time I need for recovery and time between having each children. She asks why do we feel the need and so early in life to get married now? And ditch your own families and start your own life.
His dad said I should not decide right now how many kids we need to have and it’s rather in gods hands to decide, and some people are not even be able to have more than 1 kid, I asked him why is this relevant in regards to our plans to have kids… so I have to listen to god now and have kids without planning? And then he started giving this bs about god and how we are not meant to plan ‘these things’ out in life so specifically. I asked him: What is wrong with being practical and setting realistic goals. He claimed he doesn’t think it’s wrong to have plans but we shouldn’t be so set and ‘controlling’ over our own lives. He has experience and we should listen to the grown ups with experience… I knew the conversation wasn’t going to get anywhere as soon as he brings religion into this.
My boyfriend just stood there in silence. After the conversation ended we both walked away from his parents, he apologized to me and told me he’s sorry for any of the things his parents have said to me and I didn’t deserve it. He says he won’t listen to his parents anymore, and he knows how to make this right, and he will propose once we return to my grandparent’s place. I didn’t challenge him anymore because I that was the reassurance I needed from him, and I was happy that he was finally able to see his parents for who they are.
The following days of the trip, his dad tried to isolate him from rest of the family to give him the same lecture. Every time he rejoins the group I can see from his expression that their conversation did not go well, I didn’t comment. On the day we returned to my grandparent’s home, he told me he can’t follow through with his promises. And his dad told him he should feel guilty for making promises to me and be pressured into marriage. Somehow this convinced himself into thinking he’s not ready for marriage all along. I walked away from him and we spent 3 days apart before our flight to return home.
On our last day, we met up for closure, talked through what happened and we had sex. I told him I wasn’t ready to fly back home with him and I didn’t want to fall back into the vicious cycle of arguments, and that we should have some time to cool things down before we reconnect. We agreed to give each other some space and he wants to learn more about himself before he makes commitment to me as he doesn’t want to disappoint me again.
A week after he got back, he told me he wants to move out of our co-rented apartment, and he wants to break lease. I was a bit confused because I thought he wanted to work on himself, and him moving out essentially is an indication of a break up to me. He said if I don’t let him move out, I’m not giving him space to work on himself. I didn’t really have an option so I agreed. We didn’t talk afterwards.
3 weeks later, I missed my period, I took a test and was positive.
2024.05.14 12:33 Diligent_Spirit_7587 Insomnia Awakened RP, [QB] 18+ No Whitelist Application GTA FiveM Server, Open MAY 17, Needing police, medical, and mechanics! Female Ran & Developed - OPEN IN 3 DAYS
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2024.05.14 12:33 Diligent_Spirit_7587 Insomnia Awakened RP, [QB] 18+ No Whitelist Application GTA FiveM Server, Open MAY 17, Needing police, medical, and mechanics! Female Ran & Developed - OPEN IN 3 DAYS
![Insomnia Awakened RP, [QB] 18+ No Whitelist Application GTA FiveM Server, Open MAY 17, Needing police, medical, and mechanics! Female Ran & Developed - OPEN IN 3 DAYS](https://preview.redd.it/2boettjtdd0d1.jpeg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=1d74d001d381b38e2b0d466e51456c62f0fcc9ce "Insomnia Awakened RP, [QB] 18+ No Whitelist Application GTA FiveM Server, Open MAY 17, Needing police, medical, and mechanics! Female Ran & Developed - OPEN IN 3 DAYS") | Insomnia RP — https://discord.gg/mBTcpUgkny OPEN FRIDAY IN 3 DAYS - Fresh start to all! submitted by Diligent_Spirit_7587 to FiveMServers [link] [comments] 18+ FiveM server opening our 2.0 version MAY 17th. No whitelist application! A place with many opportunities for criminals, police, medical, civilians and car enthusiasts! ✨ Features 🎉 - We are newly developed, up to date, with a fresh start to all. Looking for Police, mechanics, and medics! 🚗 - Affordable starter vehicles, and many opportunities for car enthusiasts like customizations, car shows, and the ability to one of one a vehicle. 👚- Up to date clothing, many clothing options! 📌 - Here in Insomnia we focus on quality of roleplay. We offer player owned businesses, Many MLO hangout locations, working arcades and trained emergency services. 🎭 - For criminal activity, we believe in interactions and roleplay before ending a scene in handcuffs and jail. Story and well thought plans deserve to be recognized. Our development team plans to expand criminal activities for many possibilities 🌳 - Cherry blossom trees, and large forest trees that makes a unique and beautiful city truly a see for your self experience. ———— Best GTA FiveM Servers, GTA Online Servers, GTA Roleplay, Grand Theft Auto Roleplay insomniarp #gta5 #roleplay #fivem #gta6 #rockstargames #gtafivem #gta #gtaonline |
2024.05.14 12:32 Diligent_Spirit_7587 Insomnia Awakened RP, [QB] 18+ No Whitelist Application GTA FiveM Server, Open MAY 17, Needing police, medical, and mechanics! Female Ran & Developed - OPEN IN 3 DAYS
![Insomnia Awakened RP, [QB] 18+ No Whitelist Application GTA FiveM Server, Open MAY 17, Needing police, medical, and mechanics! Female Ran & Developed - OPEN IN 3 DAYS](https://preview.redd.it/smocma9rdd0d1.jpeg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=dbe73db927351198fd598708998b88e13350f8fc "Insomnia Awakened RP, [QB] 18+ No Whitelist Application GTA FiveM Server, Open MAY 17, Needing police, medical, and mechanics! Female Ran & Developed - OPEN IN 3 DAYS") | Insomnia RP — https://discord.gg/mBTcpUgkny OPEN FRIDAY IN 3 DAYS - Fresh start to all! submitted by Diligent_Spirit_7587 to InsomniaRP [link] [comments] 18+ FiveM server opening our 2.0 version MAY 17th. No whitelist application! A place with many opportunities for criminals, police, medical, civilians and car enthusiasts! ✨ Features 🎉 - We are newly developed, up to date, with a fresh start to all. Looking for Police, mechanics, and medics! 🚗 - Affordable starter vehicles, and many opportunities for car enthusiasts like customizations, car shows, and the ability to one of one a vehicle. 👚- Up to date clothing, many clothing options! 📌 - Here in Insomnia we focus on quality of roleplay. We offer player owned businesses, Many MLO hangout locations, working arcades and trained emergency services. 🎭 - For criminal activity, we believe in interactions and roleplay before ending a scene in handcuffs and jail. Story and well thought plans deserve to be recognized. Our development team plans to expand criminal activities for many possibilities 🌳 - Cherry blossom trees, and large forest trees that makes a unique and beautiful city truly a see for your self experience. ———— Best GTA FiveM Servers, GTA Online Servers, GTA Roleplay, Grand Theft Auto Roleplay insomniarp #gta5 #roleplay #fivem #gta6 #rockstargames #gtafivem #gta #gtaonline |
2024.05.14 12:32 Used-Love-4397 To ghost or be ghosted
I 29/f am a classic avoidant. I can forget to text people back for days. I have a lot of work and hobbies and the desire to communicate daily just isn’t there.
I see a lot of my friends waiting around for texts analyzing if the person will text them back. It kills me to tell them to wait a few days and that the person in the other line may just be busy.
I don’t ghost purposefully but if I have one good date, I don’t think anyone is entitled to my time. Others seem to find that awful. If it’s longer term I will always send a message like “respectfully, I need space” before I go dark but if I am not dating someone I don’t feel the need to explicitly explain.
Ive never been ghosted but I’ve felt things fade away and that’s ok w me. If we don’t have common ground or want to pursue the connection then why invest in it?
It leaves me to wonder is there ever even ground? Is it always the chaser and the chased eventually compromising? At what point is it ok to ghost ( one date, a passing conversation imo). What’s your line for heartless vs realistic? And why do so many people chase someone who just isn’t interested?
submitted by Used-Love-4397 to dating [link] [comments]
I see a lot of my friends waiting around for texts analyzing if the person will text them back. It kills me to tell them to wait a few days and that the person in the other line may just be busy.
I don’t ghost purposefully but if I have one good date, I don’t think anyone is entitled to my time. Others seem to find that awful. If it’s longer term I will always send a message like “respectfully, I need space” before I go dark but if I am not dating someone I don’t feel the need to explicitly explain.
Ive never been ghosted but I’ve felt things fade away and that’s ok w me. If we don’t have common ground or want to pursue the connection then why invest in it?
It leaves me to wonder is there ever even ground? Is it always the chaser and the chased eventually compromising? At what point is it ok to ghost ( one date, a passing conversation imo). What’s your line for heartless vs realistic? And why do so many people chase someone who just isn’t interested?
2024.05.14 12:31 specialllk6 Overwhelmed, Exhausted and Underappreciated
Title pretty much says it all. I'm basically stuck in a toxic relationship with literally no support.
This is a long read, I'm sorry. It feels so good to finally be able to speak all of this out loud.
I've been with my partner for close to a decade and I would be lying if I said it was ever really great. A little backstory: we started dating in early 2017 when we were both 19 turning 20 and moved in with each other that same summer. We lived 2 hours away from each other when we met and our visits always consisted of me traveling to see her and eventually I moved to her city. She had a car, I did not. From the start, we struggled with infidelity (at the beginning it was both of us but I can admit that these days I'm the problem in that aspect), financial issues and just overall not seeing eye to eye. The biggest problem to date is the financial issues we have.
In the beginning, my partner was not diagnosed with anything and was really reckless (constantly quitting jobs, spending most money on weed and fast food, trying other drugs) and also very aggressive and messy (drama). I don't think I have to explain the amount of pressure and stress that put on me to make sure bills and rent were being paid while only making $11/hr while also trying to navigate her emotions and the never-ending drama cycle. I NEVER WANTED TO BE A PROVIDER and I made this clear to my partner on many occasions but I was still being forced to basically pay for her lifestyle. Her only response to my complaints about money was "everyone struggles, look at my parents". Her parents are decent people but definitely not role models when it comes to finances and neither are mine. I was young and in love and this was my first "adult" relationship so in my mind these were normal things that young people go through. I wholeheartedly believed that eventually she would come around and chill out, I was slightly right.
About 4 years ago she was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and it felt like maybe things were turning around. She got on meds and in therapy and it seemed as though things were getting better. Unfortunately it did not get better. Well, her emotional state got better. Financially not much changed. She went from getting and quitting jobs to just not applying because "they're not a good fit" and if I say anything about it I get called names and "not supportive". To be fair she will doordash from time to time but that money goes to weed and fast food. There was a time when I was pleading with her to just get a job and help me out and she literally told me that a good partner would basically just suck it up and deal with it because she's mentally ill. Apparently the years before she was diagnosed don't count as me sucking it up and dealing with it lol. She also will berate me and tell me I need meds and therapy but doesn't realize I need money to pay for those things lol. She has free healthcare through the state, I pay for mine through my job and it's not good.
Earlier I mentioned how she was the only one with a car when we got together and 7 years later its still the same way. Even though I'm the only one that works and I make enough to go finance a car, I can't. All of my money goes towards bills/rent and you guessed it, her car payment. After paying bills every week I can't even afford $250 for a road test for my license. I drive every day, she literally will refuse to drive if I'm with her. When things are good its our car, when she gets mad its her car and I can't drive it and I need to find a way to work blah blah blah. I can't talk to her about these things because all she does is say I'm blaming her for my problems and it's not her fault my mom didn't buy me a car as a teenager. LOL. But she absolutely is the reason I can't afford a car of my own and my mom not buying me a car 10 years ago has nothing to do with our current circumstances.
I stopped smoking weed and I'm trying to be more active (I'm overweight) and now I'm a narcissist according to her. I didn't ask her to stop with me or to start being active but apparently she feels some type of way about it. I can't express my feelings to her about how this relationship dynamic does not work for me or how I'm completely overwhelmed and exhausted without her deflecting and making everything my fault. I can't tell her how I don't feel cared for when she brushes my feelings off as nagging because she will call me a narcissist.
I've been having knee problems and could possibly need surgery, it that happens we are fucked and more than likely going to be homeless and without a car. I have a better job than before but still no savings and only enough PTO to last maybe a week. She's currently in school and doesn't work because it's too much for her.
The worst part of all this is the fact that I can't tell my family or friends what I'm going through because 1. She will be upset. She doesn't want to be judged and not be seen as "innocent, sweet, and caring". Those are her own words she uses to describe herself. Meanwhile she tells her family EVERYTHING. If I upset her in any way she's running to the sibling group chat. Apparently its ok for her family to form an opinion of me and pass judgment but not for my family. 2. I feel embarrassed. I don't want to be called a fool for dealing with this for so long.
Obviously leaving her is an option but I have no money and I'm 2 hours away from my closest family. I've pretty much lived my entire adult life in the city that I'm currently in, with her.
submitted by specialllk6 to Vent [link] [comments]
This is a long read, I'm sorry. It feels so good to finally be able to speak all of this out loud.
I've been with my partner for close to a decade and I would be lying if I said it was ever really great. A little backstory: we started dating in early 2017 when we were both 19 turning 20 and moved in with each other that same summer. We lived 2 hours away from each other when we met and our visits always consisted of me traveling to see her and eventually I moved to her city. She had a car, I did not. From the start, we struggled with infidelity (at the beginning it was both of us but I can admit that these days I'm the problem in that aspect), financial issues and just overall not seeing eye to eye. The biggest problem to date is the financial issues we have.
In the beginning, my partner was not diagnosed with anything and was really reckless (constantly quitting jobs, spending most money on weed and fast food, trying other drugs) and also very aggressive and messy (drama). I don't think I have to explain the amount of pressure and stress that put on me to make sure bills and rent were being paid while only making $11/hr while also trying to navigate her emotions and the never-ending drama cycle. I NEVER WANTED TO BE A PROVIDER and I made this clear to my partner on many occasions but I was still being forced to basically pay for her lifestyle. Her only response to my complaints about money was "everyone struggles, look at my parents". Her parents are decent people but definitely not role models when it comes to finances and neither are mine. I was young and in love and this was my first "adult" relationship so in my mind these were normal things that young people go through. I wholeheartedly believed that eventually she would come around and chill out, I was slightly right.
About 4 years ago she was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and it felt like maybe things were turning around. She got on meds and in therapy and it seemed as though things were getting better. Unfortunately it did not get better. Well, her emotional state got better. Financially not much changed. She went from getting and quitting jobs to just not applying because "they're not a good fit" and if I say anything about it I get called names and "not supportive". To be fair she will doordash from time to time but that money goes to weed and fast food. There was a time when I was pleading with her to just get a job and help me out and she literally told me that a good partner would basically just suck it up and deal with it because she's mentally ill. Apparently the years before she was diagnosed don't count as me sucking it up and dealing with it lol. She also will berate me and tell me I need meds and therapy but doesn't realize I need money to pay for those things lol. She has free healthcare through the state, I pay for mine through my job and it's not good.
Earlier I mentioned how she was the only one with a car when we got together and 7 years later its still the same way. Even though I'm the only one that works and I make enough to go finance a car, I can't. All of my money goes towards bills/rent and you guessed it, her car payment. After paying bills every week I can't even afford $250 for a road test for my license. I drive every day, she literally will refuse to drive if I'm with her. When things are good its our car, when she gets mad its her car and I can't drive it and I need to find a way to work blah blah blah. I can't talk to her about these things because all she does is say I'm blaming her for my problems and it's not her fault my mom didn't buy me a car as a teenager. LOL. But she absolutely is the reason I can't afford a car of my own and my mom not buying me a car 10 years ago has nothing to do with our current circumstances.
I stopped smoking weed and I'm trying to be more active (I'm overweight) and now I'm a narcissist according to her. I didn't ask her to stop with me or to start being active but apparently she feels some type of way about it. I can't express my feelings to her about how this relationship dynamic does not work for me or how I'm completely overwhelmed and exhausted without her deflecting and making everything my fault. I can't tell her how I don't feel cared for when she brushes my feelings off as nagging because she will call me a narcissist.
I've been having knee problems and could possibly need surgery, it that happens we are fucked and more than likely going to be homeless and without a car. I have a better job than before but still no savings and only enough PTO to last maybe a week. She's currently in school and doesn't work because it's too much for her.
The worst part of all this is the fact that I can't tell my family or friends what I'm going through because 1. She will be upset. She doesn't want to be judged and not be seen as "innocent, sweet, and caring". Those are her own words she uses to describe herself. Meanwhile she tells her family EVERYTHING. If I upset her in any way she's running to the sibling group chat. Apparently its ok for her family to form an opinion of me and pass judgment but not for my family. 2. I feel embarrassed. I don't want to be called a fool for dealing with this for so long.
Obviously leaving her is an option but I have no money and I'm 2 hours away from my closest family. I've pretty much lived my entire adult life in the city that I'm currently in, with her.
2024.05.14 12:30 Mountain_Bluejay4383 Dosto help chahiye.. READ ❤️ (request to mods please don't delete 🙏)
 | I can send all the documents and proofs for verification in pm... Please help guys submitted by Mountain_Bluejay4383 to thugeshh [link] [comments] (Already posted on few subs and got help of 9,500 rs) Last year, during my late father's treatment for Terminal HCC disease, I borrowed a significant amount of money from various online apps. Unfortunately, he passed away, but nearly a year later, I find myself still ensnared in this debt trap.l earn a monthly income of 12 thousand rupees from my job, supplemented by an additional 2 thousand rupees from home tuition. Despite this, it remains insufficient. As the sole earner in my family, I am struggling to repay the debt, exacerbated by the fact that all the EMI dates from different apps coincide. The total amount I owe is 1 lakh 50 thousand rupees, a sum that seems insurmountable given my current salary and tuition fees. Over the past year, I've attempted various tactics to avoid defaulting on loans, including taking out new loans to repay older ones and considering selling assets, but I've now exhausted all options. I feel mentally drained and hopeless.I am at a loss and see no light at the end of the tunnel. I implore you all to offer guidance on what steps I can take. Unfortunately, I cannot turn to relatives for further financial assistance, as many have already supported my family during my father's treatment, and they too have modest incomes like mine. This is my fundraiser https://m-lp.co/anuragmi-4?utm _medium=native_message&utm_source=app I can provide all the documents and proofs for verification in dm PLEASE HELP DOSTO |
2024.05.14 12:28 modest__mouse Calendar events not showing
I have a gmail account configured for calendar in Spark. I can see the calendar events in the in-app calendar, but whenever I accept an invite it never shows up in gmail (or my calendar app which is syncing from there).
I found this question from five years ago: https://webapps.stackexchange.com/questions/129389/spark-mail-by-readle-not-adding-accepted-calendar-invites-to-my-calendar
Is this really a known bug? How the hell am I supposed to accept calendar invites if it stays within the app only and doesn’t offer any way to manually create an event in my own calendar, like smart date links you get for free anywhere else in iOS?
submitted by modest__mouse to SparkMail [link] [comments]
I found this question from five years ago: https://webapps.stackexchange.com/questions/129389/spark-mail-by-readle-not-adding-accepted-calendar-invites-to-my-calendar
Is this really a known bug? How the hell am I supposed to accept calendar invites if it stays within the app only and doesn’t offer any way to manually create an event in my own calendar, like smart date links you get for free anywhere else in iOS?
2024.05.14 12:27 Gear-Five What is this situation
Me M(23) I m working and she F(20) still studying. So I met this girl in Tinder we matched and I invited her to my house to drink and she accepted. So on our first date we had fun and we got to know each other. The next day we did it again but this time sex was involved and she did enjoy it. After 2 weeks I asked her again if she wanted to come she said yes but this time with her friend everything is good I m okey with it. So we started drinking dancing just for like an hour then she told me that she has to leave because her friend boyfriend was waiting on them, I told her she can stay but her friend can go she responded that her friend was drunk and she can’t leave her and yeah her friend was pretty drunk lol. That the third time I saw her and when I text her in IG she don’t respond she only respond if I invited her she don’t text or anything. So clearly she see the messages and choose not to respond. I want to ask u guys if this relationship can be developed into something serious or we gonna just stay as friends with benefits
submitted by Gear-Five to dating [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 12:26 Spiritual-Ebb2786 Assailant Network Server
Announcing the Grand Opening of the Assailant Network Minecraft Server!
Greetings Mortals! We are thrilled to unveil the launch of Assailant Network, your new ultimate destination for an unparalleled Minecraft experience! Join us as we open the doors to a vibrant community where adventure, creativity, and fierce competition await. Here’s what you can look forward to on the Assailant Network:
Innovative Gameplay: Dive into a variety of custom gameplays designed to challenge and entertain players of all skill levels.
Expansive Worlds: Explore meticulously crafted worlds filled with hidden treasures, daunting challenges, and boundless opportunities for adventure.
Thriving Community: Connect with fellow gamers in a friendly and supportive environment. Participate in community events, competitions, and collaborations.
Cutting-Edge Plugins: Experience smooth, lag-free gameplay with our state-of-the-art server technology and unique plugins that enhance your gameplay.
Competitive Events: Test your skills in our regular tournaments and mini-games to earn rewards, recognition, and bragging rights!
Stay Updated: Follow us on our social media channels and join our Discord server for the latest updates, event announcements, and community news. We invite players to be part of our launch celebration. Whether you're a seasoned veteran or a curious newcomer, the Assailant Network has something special in store for you.
Launch Date: May 15, 2024 IP Address: AssailantNetwork.wither.best
Discord : https://discord.gg/pDqHvQ2s
Prepare your gear, gather your friends, and get ready to embark on an epic journey like no other. The Assailant Network awaits your arrival!
Join the adventure. Forge your destiny. Dominate the Assailant Network.
See you in the game! Best regards,
The Assailant Network Team
submitted by Spiritual-Ebb2786 to MinecraftServer [link] [comments]
Greetings Mortals! We are thrilled to unveil the launch of Assailant Network, your new ultimate destination for an unparalleled Minecraft experience! Join us as we open the doors to a vibrant community where adventure, creativity, and fierce competition await. Here’s what you can look forward to on the Assailant Network:
Innovative Gameplay: Dive into a variety of custom gameplays designed to challenge and entertain players of all skill levels.
Expansive Worlds: Explore meticulously crafted worlds filled with hidden treasures, daunting challenges, and boundless opportunities for adventure.
Thriving Community: Connect with fellow gamers in a friendly and supportive environment. Participate in community events, competitions, and collaborations.
Cutting-Edge Plugins: Experience smooth, lag-free gameplay with our state-of-the-art server technology and unique plugins that enhance your gameplay.
Competitive Events: Test your skills in our regular tournaments and mini-games to earn rewards, recognition, and bragging rights!
Stay Updated: Follow us on our social media channels and join our Discord server for the latest updates, event announcements, and community news. We invite players to be part of our launch celebration. Whether you're a seasoned veteran or a curious newcomer, the Assailant Network has something special in store for you.
Launch Date: May 15, 2024 IP Address: AssailantNetwork.wither.best
Discord : https://discord.gg/pDqHvQ2s
Prepare your gear, gather your friends, and get ready to embark on an epic journey like no other. The Assailant Network awaits your arrival!
Join the adventure. Forge your destiny. Dominate the Assailant Network.
See you in the game! Best regards,
The Assailant Network Team
2024.05.14 12:25 ThrowRA_Leave_9693 Is it too late to start at 29?
I've always wanted to prevent my hair loss, I remember seeing things about finasteride and minodoxyl and honestly couldn't afford to upkeep them so I never started. Now I can afford to upkeep it and wondering if I should start
I know baldness is in my genes, my father lost his hair around his mid 20s so I feel like what's lost probably won't come back but I'd love to be told otherwise if there's anything I can do
I guess I'm just seeing if there is a point to starting now, my hair been falling out alot more recently and it's smacked my confidence under the pavement. now that I'm single again and being a gay male I feel like a death sentence to dating going bald.
One thing I'd like to know is whether anyone's been in the same boat and actually gotten results? And if so what would you guys reccomend?
I might be able to post a pic later for reference but currently I'm at work so I cannot
submitted by ThrowRA_Leave_9693 to Hairloss [link] [comments]
I know baldness is in my genes, my father lost his hair around his mid 20s so I feel like what's lost probably won't come back but I'd love to be told otherwise if there's anything I can do
I guess I'm just seeing if there is a point to starting now, my hair been falling out alot more recently and it's smacked my confidence under the pavement. now that I'm single again and being a gay male I feel like a death sentence to dating going bald.
One thing I'd like to know is whether anyone's been in the same boat and actually gotten results? And if so what would you guys reccomend?
I might be able to post a pic later for reference but currently I'm at work so I cannot
2024.05.14 12:25 Alice_in_Ponderland Do you 'test' your date?
I had a first date which went really well, lot's of subjects to talk about, very nice man. But afterwards he wrote me that he did not want a second date because I did not put my hand on his arm when he told me something shocking about his childhood. He wrote that I said all the right things but that he missed the emotional gesture. There are some reasons why I did not touch him, but that is not what I want to talk about here.
The thing is, that after letting it sink in a couple of days I think he may have told me that stuff about his childhood just to test how I would react (there was something off about the way he interjected in the conversation, but I may be wrong here, and that also is not what I want to talk about here).
My question that I want to talk about is: Does anyone here have test-stories to tell or test-questions to ask your date, not for the answer per se, but to see if the way your date reacts to it is the 'right' (for you) way? I myself never test a date like that, I just go with the flow and red flags will appear by themselves ;-)
But I have realised now that I may have been tested like this before, I am just wondering, is this a thing people do in dating? And if you do , how do you feel about it? It seams a bit unethical to me, but I also can see the point. And if they fail your test, do you just write them off?
submitted by Alice_in_Ponderland to datingoverforty [link] [comments]
The thing is, that after letting it sink in a couple of days I think he may have told me that stuff about his childhood just to test how I would react (there was something off about the way he interjected in the conversation, but I may be wrong here, and that also is not what I want to talk about here).
My question that I want to talk about is: Does anyone here have test-stories to tell or test-questions to ask your date, not for the answer per se, but to see if the way your date reacts to it is the 'right' (for you) way? I myself never test a date like that, I just go with the flow and red flags will appear by themselves ;-)
But I have realised now that I may have been tested like this before, I am just wondering, is this a thing people do in dating? And if you do , how do you feel about it? It seams a bit unethical to me, but I also can see the point. And if they fail your test, do you just write them off?