I love to hear what other butches and mascs have to say.
I don't really have an irl community anymore due to living rural and an hour from the closest small city in my state, but I'm somewhat active or at least a lurker in online lesbian spaces. I notice a lot of fems really sexualize butches, studs, and masculine lesbians. It's happened to me posting a normal selfie on one of my social media platforms ("I need you" and adjacent comments), while I don't notice a lot of butches doing the same to femmes. I'm sure some butches are okay with it, and I am to a certain degree, but I'm not this, like, suave sexy butch that some lesbians tend to think of. I don't really relate to that butch stereotype, and based on a couple fellow butches I've confided in about it, neither do them.
A while back, once I came into my butch(4femme) identity, I started dating a femme lesbian. I ended it after a couple months after I found out I was a massive rebound (RIP), but I also noticed how she was obsessed with fictional men and projecting that onto me, always wanted me to drive her places, pay for most of the things despite us making essentially around the same money (we're both 23 and working your average early 20s entry level positions): it was a lot of giving on my part but not receiving anything in return (using this phrase in a nonsexual manner). In other words, she was definitely leaning into treating me like a man, despite claiming how much she actually doesn't prefer butches who "look like men"/"are too masculine", but "soft mascs" instead, a term I don't use and despise for myself. Funny thing is: despite dating ME, a very masculine butch, she kept talking ill of butches. She liked them to "look like girls" too. But, also, spoiler alert: I do like sort of being more mannish and masculine in the relationship, i like being boyish, etc. But the fact she kept talking of these fictional male crushes, saying how we are "literally them", then somehow being critical of butches/mascs who are too masculine made me feel... shitty.
I just have been vaguely noticing here and there that there seems to be two popular headspaces when it comes to how femmes see butches:

We're probably really sexual and suave and we like all this thirsty talk.
We're basically men, just for being butch.

I'd be curious to hear others' thoughts and experiences. Maybe I'm observing the wrong spaces, but irl this has been affecting me too, at least when I was more connected to an irl community.

I’ve put myself back out there to date whilst being honest about where I’m at with my last relationship on Hinge (dating app). I always had the feeling at some point I’d come across my ex on there too and bam. Getting home after work this evening it happened. I saw her.
She’s even used a picture I took of her that she knows was incredibly special to me and one taken on a break to celebrate my birthday. I think that’s pretty low and self indulgent - it is a beautiful picture. And she knows I loved the picture so much.
Hurt. Felt hot and scared. But there is a certain acceptance that she’s out there probably meeting others. Although her tales of having been on there before were pretty funny and slightly tragic. Fuck this sadness, I’ve been feeling it for so long now. I need to let it go.

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac dates
10 things about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac traits
cancer zodiac personality
cancer zodiac symbol
cancer zodiac month
cancer zodiac tattoo
cancer zodiac characteristics
cancer zodiac facts
cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac animal
cancer zodiac and capricorn
cancer zodiac art
cancer zodiac aesthetic
cancer zodiac air sign
cancer zodiac astrology
cancer zodiac attributes
cancer zodiac and scorpio
cancer zodiac and aries
cancer zodiac and aquarius
about cancer zodiac sign
all about cancer zodiac
are cancer zodiac dangerous
about cancer zodiac sign girl
age of cancer zodiac
attributes of cancer zodiac sign
after cancer zodiac
animal for cancer zodiac sign
anime characters cancer zodiac
aries and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac birthday
cancer zodiac bad traits
cancer zodiac birthstone
cancer zodiac best match
cancer zodiac birth dates
cancer zodiac body part
cancer zodiac background
cancer zodiac bracelet
cancer zodiac best friends
cancer zodiac baby girl
best crystals for cancer zodiac
bad things about cancer zodiac
boy cancer zodiac
best match for cancer zodiac
birthday wishes for cancer zodiac
best color for cancer zodiac
best job for cancer zodiac
best stone for cancer zodiac
birthstone for cancer zodiac
bracelet for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer zodiac color
cancer zodiac celebrities
cancer zodiac constellation
cancer zodiac crystals
cancer zodiac color palette
cancer zodiac characteristics female
cancer zodiac compatibility chart
cancer zodiac chinese
cancer zodiac sign dates
cancer zodiac dates range
cancer zodiac description
cancer zodiac days
cancer zodiac demon
cancer zodiac drawing
cancer zodiac daily
cancer zodiac dates 2024
cancer zodiac dogs
cancer zodiac dark side
definition of cancer zodiac sign
dates for cancer zodiac sign
dark side of cancer zodiac signs
dragon cancer zodiac
different types of cancer zodiac
demon cancer zodiac
does cancer zodiac have anger issues
description of cancer zodiac sign
double cancer zodiac
diamond for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac element
cancer zodiac emoji
cancer zodiac enemies
cancer zodiac explained
cancer zodiac earrings
cancer zodiac energy
cancer zodiac ear piercing
cancer zodiac eyes
cancer zodiac español
cancer zodiac emotionally manipulative
everything about cancer zodiac
evolved cancer zodiac
element of cancer zodiac
evil cancer zodiac
enemy of cancer zodiac
emerald for cancer zodiac
easy cancer zodiac drawing
emotional cancer zodiac
explain cancer zodiac sign
everything you need to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac flower
cancer zodiac flower tattoo
cancer zodiac for today
cancer zodiac female
cancer zodiac favorite color
cancer zodiac famous people
cancer zodiac fire sign
cancer zodiac friends
cancer zodiac facts male
facts about cancer zodiac sign
facts about cancer zodiac woman
fun facts about cancer zodiac
famous cancer zodiac
flower for cancer zodiac
facts about cancer zodiac man
features of cancer zodiac sign
female cancer zodiac sign
friends of cancer zodiac
funny cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac girl
cancer zodiac gemstone
cancer zodiac greek god
cancer zodiac god
cancer zodiac goddess
cancer zodiac gif
cancer zodiac gem
cancer zodiac good and bad traits
cancer zodiac good in bed
cancer zodiac gifts
good things about cancer zodiac
geek bar cancer zodiac flavor
gemstone for cancer zodiac
girl cancer zodiac
gifts for cancer zodiac man
gifts for cancer zodiac woman
gemstone for cancer zodiac sign
girly cancer zodiac tattoo
god of cancer zodiac
gem for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac horoscope today
cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac health problems
cancer zodiac horoscope 2024
cancer zodiac history
cancer zodiac house
cancer zodiac hand tattoo
cancer zodiac hair color
cancer zodiac hoodie
cancer zodiac humor
how rare is cancer zodiac sign
happy birthday cancer zodiac
how is cancer zodiac sign
how dangerous is cancer zodiac
how to be friends with a cancer zodiac
how will cancer zodiac die
how to deal with cancer zodiac sign
healing crystals for cancer zodiac
habits of cancer zodiac
herbs for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac in hindi
cancer zodiac in chinese
cancer zodiac images
cancer zodiac in telugu
cancer zodiac info
cancer zodiac in spanish
cancer zodiac is what month
cancer zodiac in relationships
cancer zodiac information
cancer zodiac in 2024
is cancer zodiac dangerous
interesting facts about cancer zodiac
is cancer zodiac rare
information about cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac rich or poor
instagram bio for cancer zodiac
images of cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac sign lucky
indian celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac a water sign
cancer zodiac jewelry
cancer zodiac jobs
cancer zodiac july
cancer zodiac june
cancer zodiac january 2024
cancer zodiac june 21
cancer zodiac japanese
cancer zodiac july 22
cancer zodiac june 27
cancer zodiac july 16
july cancer zodiac
jobs for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac sign
july cancer zodiac traits
jewelry for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac personality
june cancer zodiac traits
june vs july cancer zodiac
july birthday cancer zodiac
jade for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac kids
cancer zodiac keywords
cancer zodiac keychain
cancer zodiac kpop idols
cancer zodiac killers
cancer zodiac karma
cancer zodiac know for
cancer zodiac keyboard symbol
cancer zodiac child
cancer zodiac knight
kpop idols cancer zodiac
kpop idols who have cancer zodiac sign
korean actors cancer zodiac
korean celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
katangian ng cancer zodiac
karaang napta cancer zodiac sign
karma cancer zodiac
what kind of person is cancer zodiac sign
things to know about cancer zodiac
everything to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac lucky numbers
cancer zodiac love
cancer zodiac logo
cancer zodiac love language
cancer zodiac lucky colors
cancer zodiac love compatibility
cancer zodiac libra
cancer zodiac lips
cancer zodiac least compatibility
cancer zodiac leo
lucky stone for cancer zodiac sign
logo cancer zodiac
leo and cancer zodiac sign
lucky color for cancer zodiac
lucky wallpaper for cancer zodiac
lucky number for cancer zodiac sign
lunar eclipse effect on cancer zodiac
libra and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
last day of cancer zodiac
love life of cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac meaning
cancer zodiac men
cancer zodiac memes
cancer zodiac match
cancer zodiac month dates
cancer zodiac moon sign
cancer zodiac moon
cancer zodiac meaning male
cancer zodiac meaning female
meaning of cancer zodiac sign
male cancer zodiac
meaningful cancer zodiac tattoo
more about cancer zodiac sign
month of cancer zodiac sign
moonstone for cancer zodiac
month of cancer zodiac
male cancer zodiac tattoo
match for cancer zodiac
mlbb cancer zodiac skin
cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac negative traits
cancer zodiac number
cancer zodiac names
cancer zodiac nails
cancer zodiac nail designs
cancer zodiac nicknames
cancer zodiac necklace gold
cancer zodiac neck tattoo
cancer zodiac necklace silver
nicknames for cancer zodiac
names for cancer zodiac girl
nature of cancer zodiac sign
names for cancer zodiac boy
negatives of cancer zodiac
nature of cancer zodiac
number for cancer zodiac
nba players cancer zodiac
names related to cancer zodiac
next to cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac outfits
cancer zodiac origin
cancer zodiac opposite
cancer zodiac opposite sign
cancer zodiac overview
cancer zodiac of the day
cancer zodiac oc
cancer zodiac origin story
cancer zodiac occupations
cancer zodiac other names
opposite of cancer zodiac
one word to describe cancer zodiac
other names for cancer zodiac
outfits for cancer zodiac sign
opal for cancer zodiac
one piece cancer zodiac
october cancer zodiac
onyx for cancer zodiac
another word for cancer zodiac
ox cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac personality traits
cancer zodiac planet
cancer zodiac personality female
cancer zodiac personality male
cancer zodiac pictures
cancer zodiac powers
cancer zodiac pros and cons
cancer zodiac pendant
cancer zodiac power color
personality of cancer zodiac sign
picture of cancer zodiac sign
pros and cons of cancer zodiac
pictures of cancer zodiac sign girl
planet for cancer zodiac
pisces and cancer zodiac sign
power of cancer zodiac sign
pearl for cancer zodiac
peacock cancer zodiac
perfect match for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac qualities
cancer zodiac quotes funny
cancer zodiac quiz
cancer zodiac questions
cancer zodiac quote of the day
cancer zodiac quiet
cancer zodiac quiz buzzfeed
cancer zodiac quora
cancer zodiac queen
qualities of cancer zodiac sign
qualities of a cancer zodiac
quotes about cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac
quotes for cancer zodiac sign
quiet cancer zodiac
questions for cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac sign
quiz for cancer zodiac
quora cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac reading
cancer zodiac red flags
cancer zodiac reading today
cancer zodiac ruling planet
cancer zodiac rising sign
cancer zodiac relationship
cancer zodiac reddit
cancer zodiac ring
cancer zodiac range
cancer zodiac rappers
ring for cancer zodiac
ruby for cancer zodiac
rabbit cancer zodiac
red flag cancer zodiac
rappers that are cancer zodiac sign
real cancer zodiac facts
rat cancer zodiac
ruling planet of cancer zodiac sign
random facts about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac sign traits
cancer zodiac sign meaning
cancer zodiac sign month
cancer zodiac stone
cancer zodiac soulmate
cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac sign tattoo
sign of cancer zodiac
stones for cancer zodiac
symbol for cancer zodiac
stone for cancer zodiac sign
symbol of cancer zodiac sign
scary facts about cancer zodiac
serial killers with cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac tattoo ideas
cancer zodiac today
cancer zodiac tattoos for females
cancer zodiac traits female
cancer zodiac traits male
cancer zodiac tattoos for guys
cancer zodiac tarot card
cancer zodiac type
traits of cancer zodiac
things about cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac
types of cancer zodiac
tattoo ideas for cancer zodiac
the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac sign
today cancer zodiac
today cancer zodiac sign
today's cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac urban dictionary
cancer zodiac usernames
cancer zodiac upset
cancer zodiac usa today
cancer zodiac usernames for instagram
cancer zodiac unlucky numbers
cancer zodiac unlucky color
cancer zodiac urdu
cancer zodiac unique facts
cancer zodiac unlucky
unique cancer zodiac tattoos
unique cancer zodiac tattoos for females
ugali ng cancer zodiac sign
understanding cancer zodiac
username for cancer zodiac
urban dictionary cancer zodiac sign
unhealthy cancer zodiac
usa today cancer zodiac
unknown facts about cancer zodiac
unlucky colour for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac virgo
cancer zodiac vape
cancer zodiac vibes
cancer zodiac videos
cancer zodiac vs scorpio
cancer zodiac vs leo
cancer zodiac venus
cancer zodiac vector
cancer zodiac vs gemini
cancer zodiac vindictive
virgo and cancer zodiac sign
vans cancer zodiac
virgo and cancer zodiac
villains cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac charm
venus in cancer zodiac
van cleef zodiac pendant cancer
cancer zodiac in vietnamese
cancer zodiac water sign
cancer zodiac weakness
cancer zodiac woman
cancer zodiac wallpaper
cancer zodiac what month
cancer zodiac water or fire
cancer zodiac worst match
cancer zodiac worst traits
cancer zodiac when mad
cancer zodiac wallpaper aesthetic
what is a cancer zodiac
what month is cancer zodiac sign
what month is cancer zodiac
what color is cancer zodiac
weakness of cancer zodiac
what are the traits of a cancer zodiac sign
what is the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
woman cancer zodiac
what is a cancer zodiac animal
what is good about cancer zodiac sign
cancer x zodiac
zodiac cancer x gemini
astrology cancer x capricorn
cancer zodiac letters
cancer x
cancer x cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer x cancer zodiac
zodiak taurus x cancer
what sign are cancer
x cancer
cancer zodiac year 2024
cancer zodiac yin yang
cancer zodiac year
cancer zodiac yin or yang
cancer zodiac yesterday
cancer zodiac year of dragon
what are cancer zodiac signs
year 2024 for cancer zodiac
yin yang cancer zodiac
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac sign
year of cancer zodiac
youtubers with cancer zodiac
year 2023 for cancer zodiac sign
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac
what year is cancer zodiac sign
what does it mean if you are a cancer zodiac
how to know if your a cancer zodiac sign
cancer astrology zone
cancer zodiac pisces zodiac
why are zodiac cancers so dangerous
cancer about zodiac
cancer zodiac in chinese zodiac
cancer zodiac zodiac
cancer sheep zodiac
zodiac cancer characteristics
zodiac cancer celebrities
zodiac cancer child
zodiac cancer chart
cancer horoscope 0800
cancer zodiac july 07
horoscope cancer 09 juin 2023
are cancers good for cancers
are cancers lucky
cancer sun 0 degrees
cancer 0 degrees
what are cancers sign
why are cancers called cancer
why is cancer called cancer zodiac
what represents cancer zodiac
0 degree cancer astrology
0 degree cancer
0 cancer
cancer zodiac 15 year cycle
cancer zodiac 10 things
cancer zodiac 10
cancer zodiac 18k
cancer zodiac 15th birthday
cancer 101 zodiac
zodiac cancer 16
cancer horoscope 19 march 2024
cancer horoscope 13 december 2023
cancer horoscope 11 march 2024
10 bad things about cancer zodiac
10 things about cancer zodiac male
10 things about cancer zodiac female
100 facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac
10 good things about cancer zodiac
10 interesting facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac sign
14k gold cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac 2024
cancer zodiac 2024 prediction
cancer zodiac 2023
cancer zodiac 2025
cancer zodiac 2024 january
cancer zodiac 2024 career
cancer zodiac 2023 predictions
cancer zodiac 2024 in hindi
cancer zodiac 2024 march
cancer zodiac 2023 horoscope
2024 for cancer zodiac
2 types of cancer zodiac
2025 for cancer zodiac
20 facts about cancer zodiac
2026 for cancer zodiac
2023 for cancer zodiac
2023 cancer zodiac predictions
2024 prediction for cancer zodiac
2024 lucky color for cancer zodiac sign
2024 color of the year for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac 3 stages
cancer zodiac 3 types
cancer zodiac 3 signs
cancer 3 zodiac
cancer horoscope 31 january 2024
cancer horoscope 30 march 2024
cancer horoscope 31 july 2023
cancer horoscope 30 march 2023
cancer horoscope 30 august 2023
cancer horoscope 30 november 2023
3 types of cancer zodiac
3 stages of cancer zodiac
3 words to describe cancer zodiac
3 facts about cancer zodiac
3 different types of cancer zodiac
3d cancer zodiac sign
3 fun facts about cancer zodiac
august 31 zodiac sign compatibility with cancer
cancer june 30 zodiac sign
cancer zodiac june 30
cancer horoscope 4 march 2024
cancer horoscope 4 april 2024
cancer horoscope 4 may 2023
cancer horoscope 4 january 2024
cancer horoscope 4 october 2023
cancer horoscope 4 april 2023
cancer horoscope 4 september 2023
cancer horoscope 4th december 2023
cancer horoscope 4 july 2023
cancer horoscope 4 june 2023
4 types of cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac wallpaper 4k
cancer zodiac july 4
zodiac sign of cancer 4 letters
what do cancer zodiac sign mean
cancer zodiac rules
4 cancers
zodiac cancer types
cancer horoscope 5 march 2024
cancer horoscope 5 april 2024
cancer horoscope 5 october 2023
cancer horoscope 5 april 2023
cancer horoscope 5 june 2023
cancer horoscope 5 july 2023
cancer horoscope 5 january 2024
cancer horoscope 5 may 2023
cancer horoscope 5 february 2024
cancer horoscope 5 december 2023
5 facts about cancer zodiac
50 cent is a cancer zodiac
50 cent zodiac sign cancer
cancer 5th house zodiac
cancer zodiac sign july 5
cancer zodiac july 5
june 5 zodiac sign cancer
5 cancers
cancer zodiac 69
cancer zodiac 69 tattoo
cancer zodiac 69 meaning
cancer horoscope 6 march 2024
cancer horoscope 6 july 2023
cancer horoscope 6 april 2023
cancer horoscope 6 december 2023
cancer horoscope 6 october 2023
cancer horoscope 6 june 2023
cancer horoscope 6 september 2023
69 cancer zodiac
meaning of cancer zodiac sign 69
cancer zodiac july 6
what does the 69 mean for cancer
cancer born on july 6
cancer big 6 astrology
69 cancer sign
6 cancer causing foods
cancer horoscope 7 march 2024
cancer horoscope 7 may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 september 2023
cancer horoscope 7 july 2023
cancer horoscope 7 june 2023
cancer horoscope 7th may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 november 2023
cancer horoscope 7 august 2023
cancer horoscope 7 april 2023
cancer horoscope 7 february 2024
cancer zodiac july 7
cancer horoscope 8 march 2024
cancer horoscope 8 january 2024
cancer horoscope 8 may 2023
cancer horoscope 8 september 2023
cancer horoscope 8 june 2023
cancer horoscope 8 april 2023
cancer horoscope 8 august 2023
cancer horoscope 8 december 2023
cancer horoscope 8 november 2023
cancer horoscope 8th march 2024
july 8th cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac july 8
signo zodiacal cancer julio 8
what flower represents cancer zodiac
why cancer is dangerous zodiac
what gifts do cancers like
cancer 8h
cancer horoscope 9 june 2023
cancer horoscope 9 may 2023
cancer horoscope 9 march 2024
cancer horoscope 9 january 2024
cancer horoscope 9 april 2023
cancer horoscope 9 october 2023
cancer horoscope 9 september 2023
cancer horoscope 9 november 2023
cancer horoscope 9 august 2023
cancer horoscope 9th april 2023
9 cancer zodiac sign
july 9 zodiac sign cancer
cancer zodiac july 9
what do cancer look like zodiac
what does cancer hate zodiac
9 cancer symptoms
what cancer zodiac sign
what cancer zodiac sign means

I, (18F) moved in with my boyfriend (19M) a couple of months after I turned 18, and my parents were furious and hurt. There’s a lot to unpack with this one, so bear with me.
My parents (40F and 42M) are very religious and were somewhat strict while I was growing up. I have two younger brothers, one 17 and one 8 (this will be important later). For context, my father is a pastor at a local church and my parent’s religious beliefs are the reasoning behind most if not all of their actions. Growing up, I was never a stereotypical girl. I didn’t have many female friends and was usually not accepted in groups with guys as I was a girl and we were kids. I was extroverted as a child but due to being repeatedly rejected by kids my age, I became more introverted. I was a major nerd who loved superheroes and I wanted to play sports. Again, for context, the town I grew up in was very conservative and my parents are very conservative themselves. Girls liked girl things- even if they claimed that’s not how they felt, it’s how they acted. However, as a kid, I did not realize this. I played soccer and basketball growing up, regardless of how “weird” it made me because I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. I was probably around 9 or 10 at this point. It was around this time my parents started having issues with my hobbies. I remember my parents trying to convince me to be a cheerleader because I would “like it more,” but I insisted on playing basketball. (This basketball/cheer program was through our church by the way). Because I was still young, they let it slide, but to this day I remember them being annoyed with it. This is also around the time dieting was introduced to me as well as calorie counting. I have always struggled with my weight and so has my mother, so they were very adamant on making sure I was being “healthy.” I didn’t understand it, but as a child, the only thing I was worried about was making my parents happy. A lot of discipline I received revolved around emotion. What I was doing was right or wrong and if I did something wrong, I felt terrible and awful and would often come crying to my parents about the mistakes I made, fearful of their disappointment and anger if they found things out themselves. They also made everything a moral dilemma- everything was about God and religion and as a kid, it really messed with my head. I would blame myself for everything that went wrong, seeing it as God’s punishment for my behavior. When I was 9, I went so far as to blame my grandmother’s death on myself because I was hanging out with boys instead of girls. This made me to be more of an introvert and my now anxiety disorder is much much worse.
About a year later, my parents sat down with me and my brother and told us they wanted to adopt. At first, I was very excited. I loved the idea of having another brother or sister. And I wouldn’t trade my 8 year old brother (let’s call him Scott) for anything, but adopting kids is part of what triggered a huge change in my parent’s behavior. Also- I had started getting older. I loved playing video games, watching cartoons and writing. However, these weren’t the things they wanted me to like I guess, because I started to feel their judgment become more clear and apparent as I got older. Now, I assume this is because as a kid, I just did what I was told, or my oddities were assumed to fade over time, but that is not the case anymore. Anyways, entering middle school, our family fostered a little girl, let’s call her Ally. A young woman in our church had told us that Ally’s family was out of the picture, and as her aunt, she couldn’t take her in as she was already a single mom and planned on adopting her brother, but couldn’t handle all three alone. So my family stepped in- however, we had come to find that her father was still in the picture and was actively fighting for custody. And Ally was a bit of a handful. My parents have admitted that they expected to swoop in, save a child from a hard life and be the heroes, and when things were harder than that they were very upset. Ally was about three- she remembered her mom (who was in jail i believe), her sisters, her grandma and grandpa, as well as her dad. She didn’t want our family, she wanted hers. She didn’t listen to my parents and rejected their parenting. This is what started to make my parents snap. I understand it was hard for them, but now that I’m older, I get it. She was a little girl who wanted her family. But they took her rejection very seriously and were constantly unhappy with her and made sure she knew it. Children not listening immediately was newer to them as my brother and I both did pretty much whatever they asked, and they did not take well to being told “no” by a child. 8 months after living with Ally, she was taken in by her grandparents to live with them and her sisters. The next day, my parents took my brother and I on a small trip. I’m not sure if it was to cheer us up or to celebrate. I was quite sad though- I had started to really care about Ally and had convinced myself that “God would take care of things” and I would have a sister. But I was angry- God took someone away from me and I was doing everything right. Why was he punishing me? Nothing made sense. Yet, only a year later, my parents were considering taking in another child. I wanted nothing to do with it- God had already taken one sibling away from me. I couldn’t do it again. In the end, I agreed and soon became attached to this little boy, who was two when we met him. This was Scott. I immediately became attached- and I love this kid more than I can describe- he’s my little brother and I would do anything for him.
This is where things start to go further downhill. Scott has a lot of trauma and mental issues, one of those issues being oppositional defiant disorder. That basically means that listening to any form of authority is near impossible for him, and causes him to lash out and act younger than he is. This is probably due to a number of reasons, as he was severely neglected and abused as an infant and his birth mother was on several different substances while pregnant with him, to the point where he was born high on several illegal drugs. He was left in a car seat for most of his infant life, so the back of his head is slightly flattened due to this. My parents are very obedient/disciplined-based parents, so his behavior rocked their world. In my opinion, the way they handled things with Scott was borderline abusive. There were several occasions where he would say he hated them (as young children do when they're mad) and they would flip. Telling him that if he didn’t want them that was fine. They didn’t need him. He could run back to his other parents, but his mom was in jail and his dad didn’t want him, so good luck with that. If we were in the car when this happened, they would threaten to leave him on the side of the road and good luck finding his way home. Once my mother literally pulled to the side of the road, placed him outside the car and started driving so he would “think they would leave him if his actions didn’t change,” but she turned around to get him. Because they would “never actually abandon or hurt him,” their actions were justified and perfectly fine. They would tell him he was acting like a baby when he started to cry and scream. “Little baby Scott, do you need a diaper?” Is how they would tease him when he became older, which just made his tantrums worse. They would tell him how disappointed they were with him and that he should be ashamed of himself and the way he acted because they gave him everything. They would call him, to his face, “an ungrateful manipulative piece of shit.” Because according to my parents, he could control his actions 100% and was choosing to act out to make their lives difficult. While I understand that this was hard for them, in my opinion, this in no way excuses their behavior. One time, Scott was crying and was upset (who knows why, but the kid had a lot of trauma and mental issues so it didn’t bother me too much), and my mother picked him up and put him in his room. She told him that every time he tried to leave his room, she would take away one of his stuffed animals. (He had several that he loved very much). Because this sounded so terrible to him, he ran after her trying to say it wasn’t fair. So she went into his room and took a stuffed animal. This cycle continued while he cried and begged for her to stop, because he just didn’t get it that she was going to keep doing this over and over and his trying to convince her was making it worse. Eventually, there were none left, and she told him if he didn’t stop crying she was going to throw them all away. I don’t remember what happened after that, but I do know that several of them were thrown away, if not at that time than others. There are many other instances of things like this and worse occurring, but we’d be here for a while if I tried to recount them all. Moving forwards to closer when I was moving out-
Now, several years later, when I turned sixteen, I had come to terms with the fact that I was bisexual. This went against everything my family was for, and I knew exactly how they viewed queer people. So, I started learning about different branches of Christianity and felt like I knew a God who loved me as I was and was happy in my decision to switch denominations. (My parents were baptists, and I wanted to be non-denominational). A few months after this, I decided to tell my parents the truth. I had done my best to give them hints, but I wanted to be honest with them because I trusted that they would love me and be there for me no matter what. When I told them I wanted to talk to them about something, they pushed and pressed and I had been trying to wait to talk to them until the next day. I had been seeing my high school counselor, and she suggested giving them a heads-up before springing that conversation up on them. However, after telling them to wait, they went through my phone and saw that I had researched different denominations and read different sermons on queer-accepting faith. They were livid. To be clear- I had a friend over while this was happening. We were watching a movie and joking about how I lost my phone and couldn’t show them this picture I wanted to. Then, I was called upstairs. I had apparently betrayed my parents and, “how could I do this to them, when I had someone over?” My father demanded I send my friend home, but my mother convinced him for one more hour. I was told not to tell my friend anything they had said and to act like things were fine, but I couldn’t. I went back downstairs where we were hanging out and started sobbing. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. Everything was over- and the people I thought would love me no matter what made me so afraid and sad, I was completely broken. My friend did their best to comfort me and even felt weary to leave me alone with my family but I told them I’d be okay, and asked that they update our friends about the situation. That night was hellish. So many conversations, them trying to understand what I felt, but not taking me particularly seriously either. That night turned into weeks of books, slideshows, conversations, and prayers. It felt like at-home conversion therapy. Eventually, I was given a choice “put my convictional flag in the ground or loose their trust.” As the petrified 16 year old, I chose to lie. I put my “flag” in the ground and did my best to, “earn back their trust” and repair their reputation that I had tarnished. The next couple months were a blur. I felt so terrible about myself. I didn’t know what I thought or believed and I became extremely hyper anxious and depressed. I had lost all sense of privacy and I did trust my parents further than I could toss them. My 17 year old brother (he was 14 at the time, let’s call him James) was 100% on board with my parents. My life felt like a living nightmare. My parents had it so that all my texts sent or received from my phone would go directly to theirs, so I couldn’t even confide in my friends without getting into trouble (which had happened and was how I found out that they did that because I deleted the texts immediately after sending/receiving things).. Everything felt like it was about me and how I needed to earn back their trust and how I was a terrible betrayer who they were not proud of in the slightest. I had gone to get a pixie cut (with their approval) and after they told me I was disgusting and repulsive and would never find a man to love me. I was heartbroken and felt so alone and unloved in my house, while I had to watch my younger brother be treated the way he was by my parents.
Luckily, I had a lot of friends and our school counselor who had been there for me through everything. They showered me with support and love and made sure I had a safe space to exist and truthfully I think they’re the only reason I didn’t do anything drastic and am still here today. It was hard though because James went to the same school as me and would tell my parents if I was with anyone he knew was queer or queer accepting. This caused me to be very very paranoid about who I was with, when, where, etc. Constantly covering my tracks, having an excuse set up and ready to bolt if I saw anyone I knew. What made things equally hard is that the church my father works at is quite big in our area. So if someone from our church or someone who knew my family saw me with anyone they labeled as “queer” or “gay,” they would tell my family as well. For the most part, I didn’t feel safe anywhere. I was constantly alert and on guard, even when I was asleep as my parents had woken me up before to confront me about someone I was friends with at school.
Fortunately for me, despite everything being such a mess, I am quite academically smart. I got a job the second I turned sixteen as I had heard the horror stories of queer kids being kicked out and wanted to be prepared. I had been saving money, taking college classes (we have a state program that pays for the classes while you’re in high school), and putting on a show for my family for quite some time. After saving some money, I paid my parents for an older car that they had paid off ten or so years ago. After my brother turned 16, he claimed it was too hard to share a car with me, so while I was away visiting a friend they bought him a car and told us that they expected each of us to pay them one thousand dollars before we graduated high school and that when we did so, they would sign over our respective cars to us. To be clear, I contributed to insurance and paid for my own gas, as well as contributing to my phone bill and money for food. Meanwhile, my brother had no job, and was constantly asking my parents for money to go out with friends. He had also taken up golfing, which as most people know is extremely expensive, and my parents funded everything. James had actually admitted to asking for more money than he needed and save the leftovers for whatever he wanted. I was also expected to chauffeur him to golf events and to get togethers with his friends, and my parents would in return give me some gas money. Another thing to note is that the only reason I was contributing to our phone bill is because James wanted unlimited data and my father said it was unreasonable unless we both contributed financially. I refused as I was trying to save money (as I would have with the car situation), however things per normal went James’s way. However, because he did not have a job, he was not expected to pay anything and would not be charged for the months and years that he did not contribute to. I did my best not to let these things get to me and to keep a level head. I paid my parents for the car because I already had over two thousand dollars saved as a seventeen year old high school student due to my hard work.
I focused on my classes and joined theater to help fill the hours in between school and work. I was much more active my sophomore year but when James also decided to join theater I retreated a bit as my once safe space to freely exist was no longer safe. I joined the stage crew but honestly that was also very enjoyable and lethargic for me and I enjoyed it a lot. Anyways, I was mostly a straight A student besides the stray Bs and one or two Cs (psychology and AP government screwed me over) and was working 15 or so hours a week. This is on top of my commitments to the church which were most of my Sundays and my Wednesday evenings. The funny thing is though- James missed more church than I ever did yet because my absence was because of work and not golf, I was the one consistently reprimanded for my lack of attendance and socialization whilst I was there. Yet because James could never do anything wrong and was a very extroverted person his lack of attendance wasn’t as serious as my own. I had one close friend through our church, let’s call her Grace (now 18F) and she actually knew about everything and was very supportive of me. I also had some other friends who really only showed up to church so I didn’t have to go through the torture alone which I don’t know if I could ever repay them for. Besides the people I was comfortable with though, I was pretty much a loner there and this heavily displeased my parents as it made them look bad and messed with their reputation. I never realized how much appearances meant to them until all of the shit that happened took place. As I mentioned before, our church is very conservative and traditional, and many sermons and lessons revolved around gender roles and the sinfulness of the world in terms fo the LGBTQ community. I consistently felt targeted because of my looks and my personality and stopped feeling comfortable there a very long time ago.
Now that more context is in place, fast forward to the end of my junior year. I had at this point finished all my high school requirements for graduation and was given an incredible opportunity to go to our local college full time for my senior year. I was very excited and happy because not only did it give me more freedom but it also meant I would get more than a year of my college education paid for by the state.
It was also around this time when I met my now boyfriend, let’s call him Dean. We were coworkers and had begun to get to know each other. We had a lot in common and while were different people personality wise, we enjoyed each other’s company quite a bit. By some miracle, I convinced my parents to allow me to hang out with him outside of work by claiming he was just a friend and saying that he was a Christian (which is by no means true). They were extremely skeptical but allowed us to hang out. We had an incredible time- and by the end of our first date he asked me to be his girlfriend which I happily accepted. I was so happy, but when I got home, things spiraled out of control. I told my parents about our time, and they were extremely unhappy as they felt fooled (which they were to be fair) and told me I was not allowed to see him ever again. I was devastated and they said a lot of very uncalled for things and but I understand why they were angry. To be clear, they knew I had a romantic interest in Dean and that this hangout was to see if we would be compatible partners and get to know each other better. They did not call it a date though because they weren’t comfortable with it, even if it was a date and they kinda knew it. So while they were on some level “fooled,” I feel that their anger and harshness wasn’t called for as they knew the intentions of our hanging out. The next morning my father demanded to see my phone. This is when I started to panic. You see, they had stop tracking my texts and I had openly flirted with Dean over text. Nothing that explicit and no photos of any kind. But the flirting would be enough for them to tear my world apart and I knew it. They had gone through my personal conversations before and made me feel terrible because of it and I refused to let them do it again. So I deleted everything. The entire conversation chain, I removed it from my phone 100%. My parents absolutely lost their shit. They had been manipulating and gaslighting me for years, doing anything and everything to keep their control and with my actions I showed them they couldn’t control me forever and things went very downhill. I lost all my privacy and was once again told how I had betrayed them and I was terrible and couldn’t be trusted. Again- I partially understand their anger here because I had directly disobeyed a command. But at the same time, I feel as a young woman I should be allowed some sense of privacy and the ability to talk to people without being constantly monitored. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong and would happily do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I’d be where I am today. Regardless of this, my life became a living hell once again, and my parents compared this to when I came out, “which was maybe the worst night of their lives.” They stripped me of all my privileges even if I didn’t have many to begin with. They made me feel absolutely miserable and awful about myself and I was monitored like never before. I would be working and receive texts upon texts of how I was so terrible and how could I do this to them because they had done everything for me and I’m a terrible daughter who should be ashamed of myself for the deceit and malicious nature of my actions. Again- this was because they could not read the messages between me and my now boyfriend. I understand them being mad but they took it to a completely inappropriate level. I shared everything happening with my friends and counselor and they supported me and assured me I did nothing wrong and they would be there for me which helped but as my home was now a living hellscape it was hard to hear it. I found a way to tell Dean about things and at first he felt guilty but I assured him that their actions were not his fault but theirs. He then asked me if I wanted to pause our relationship but I told him honestly that they had taken so many things I cared about over the years and I refused to let them take this. I did tell him however I understood if he didn’t want to put up with all the complicatedness of my family but he told me he cared for me and would be there so long as I was okay with it. He also told me if things ever got really bad at home, regardless of the fact we had just started dating, he had spoken to his family and they offered me a place to stay if I needed/wanted it. This really touched me, but I reassured him that it was not his job to offer that, but I appreciated the offer.
This begins our relationship and we were very happy. We had found a way to communicate over email, and we were able to hide our relationship with my family. Luckily for me, over the years I had made a habit of hanging out at the park by myself so it was not strange for me to head to the park for a couple of hours. There, I would leave my car and phone (my phone had a tracker on it) and Dean and I would hangout multiple times a week and it was heaven. At this point, we’ve only been dating for a year but I can admit without any doubt that I am in love with this man and he is in love with me. During the school year, it became easier for us to hang out in between classes as we both went to the same college (I am older for my year in school and he is younger, so he was a sophomore in college while I was a senior in high school. However, we are barely a year apart in age for anyone who is concerned). However, in order for us to communicate and hang out, I had to be extremely diligent and was consistently covering my tracks while “once again, earning my parents trust and repairing our relationship.” Because of course their actions were completely justified and I was the one in the wrong, per normal. Anyways, every day, I was editing search histories, erasing messages, and looking over my shoulder. Our church had a program on campus where Dean and I went to school, so being together in public was risky as my father’s friends and coworkers were always on campus and I knew I would be screwed if we were caught together. We had a couple of close calls over the months but it was all worth it because I hadn’t been that happy in years.
Now, to the day I left and why. You see, my parents' behavior towards Scott was becoming more aggressive and worse over time. They also had, in my opinion, a drinking problem. Considering they didn’t deny it when I called them out, they may agree. They would behave more hostile after several drinks and it was happening so consistently I was constantly walking on eggshells. Between the way they treated Scott, the way they treated me and the constant stress I was under trying to balance my life in fear of the repercussions, things became too much. When things weren’t going to shit, I was consistently expected to either babysit my brother and do chores while being a full time college student and working a part time job WHILE attending church multiple times a week and keeping up with my responsibilities as a senior. This is on top of the stress my parents' behavior caused, meanwhile James was expected to do almost nothing in comparison. Don’t get me wrong- he didn’t do anything, but he had almost no responsibilities outside of school and his extracurriculars which were exclusively funded by my parents. Yes he helped with dishes during the week and would keep his space tidy. But as my schedule became much more flexible due to my school schedule, my expectations around the house became much higher than his. Even though I paid 200 a month on gas, 50 a month for insurance and 50 a month for the phone bill, and he paid nothing for his car, insurance, phone, gas, nothing. So you would think he would be expected to help in the house more but no. Also, James’s behavior towards Scott mimicked my parents and so all babysitting responsibilities fell on me as they couldn’t be trusted alone together. I was rarely if ever paid for my cleaning or babysitting services as it was my responsibility as their eldest child. They would also consistently judge me for my weight, cloths, hair, hobbies, etc. Why did I think it was a good idea to get fast food? I clearly didn’t need it. They would “outfit check me” to make sure the outfits I wore were feminine enough because the way I look effected their reputation and I couldn’t be trusted. I was not allowed to cut my hair after their tantrum over it. As for my hobbies, I stopped playing sports in middle school as I am very short (currently 5 foot even) and was unable to keep up with my peers. However my interest in video games and cartoons wasn’t feminine enough and they proceeded to compare me to my best friend Grace because she was skinnier and liked more feminine things than I did which hurt a lot. Another thing for context, I have PCOS. It’s an endocrine disorder that heavily effects your metabolism and hormones, which in turn severely effected my weight, however my parents never acknowledged it and again made everything my fault. So from what I wore, what I ate, who I hung out with and what I enjoyed doing was constantly criticized, scrutinized and eventually controlled by my family for years. On top of everything else, I was done. I was 18, I had resaved the thousand I paid my family and knew I was at a place where I didn’t need them and was tired of being treated like shit. So I left.
The night I moved out was a total shit show. I had rallied Dean and my other friend, let’s call them Rita (18NB), and they helped me form a plan. When I returned home, Dean and Rita would be on their way. I would pack everything that belonged to me or I felt they would let me take, and prep the bags outside. After Rita arrived I went to try and explain to my parents that I would be leaving and explain calmly why. In a perfect world, we would have had a long deep talk, and things would have ended alright. That is far, far from what happened. They immediately starting screaming, and took my phone and car keys as both belonged to them, which I calmly handed over. Rita was there for emotional support, and put themselves between me and my parents as they got more angry and seemed to be turning aggressive. After that, my father called the police and claimed that there was an intruder in their home trying to take their child. Yeah. Complete bullshit- which to this day I’m surprised they were never charged with falsifying a 911 call. They screamed at Rita to get out of their home and was screaming that I was throwing away everything and I needed to reconsider. I ignored them and attempted to calmly walk out, and my parents attempted to barricade the doors while harassing Rita to leave. Because Rita is incredible and one of my closest friends now, they refused to leave without me which was very calming. While my parents were distracted yelling at them, I slipped out through the garage. My mother saw this and then grabbed me, attempting to drag me inside by my arm. Rita saw this and assisted me in getting her off me, and after doing so we continued to walk towards Dean’s car where he was waiting for us. He figured it would be best if my family didn’t see him for the time being as they would definitely lose their minds at seeing his face. My parents continued screaming and then the cops arrived. They were quite confused at first because they had been sent to deal with a potential kidnapping, only to see two grown adults throwing a tantrum because their adult child didn’t want to live with them anymore. That night was honestly so insane I could write three more pages about everything they said and did. The most notable events were first when my mother tried to explain to the police that because I was her child, she was allowed to put her hands on me, which they humorously informed her was not the case. The next was when James came home from theater rehearsal, to which my parents told them that I was abandoning our family. He was an emotional wreck through all of it, and to this day has told me that until I “fix” things with our parents he is not okay with having any form of relationship with me. Throughout all of this Scott was in his room, and I was allowed to give him one last hug before leaving. The final and most notable thing, was as the cops allowed my boyfriend, Rita and I to leave, my father threatened violence towards my boyfriend and accused him of "taking advantage of his underage daughter," which is just ridiculous as we are practically the same age, and anything we had done together was consensual and reserved for after I turned 18. Another thing my parents did was go through each bag I had packed and took everything they felt belonged to them, including the laptop provided to me by my high school, which they hilariously were made to give back to me several days later as it was not theirs and they had no right to take it. They tried claiming they were giving it to me out of the kindness of their hearts, but that bullshit meant nothing as after I informed the school of their behavior, the school assured me they would be made to give it back. Another thing they threatened to do as I left was pull me out of high school, which I was assured by the police they were not capable of doing as I was 18. The police were for the most part annoyed with my parents, tired of their bs and told me I seemed to be a capable young woman and wished me the best of luck. My parents had tried to ask the police to say I was mentally unstable for the time being so I wouldn’t be allowed to leave, as their “she’s still in high school” excuse didn’t do anything. You see, as my father is an influential church figure and had friends in the police force, he thought they would be on his side but was sorely mistaken as the chief told him they wouldn’t be doing him any favors. And with that, I was free.
My boyfriend's family has been nothing but unconditionally kind and supportive and have accepted me as part of their family which has been a huge blessing in all of this. I am in contact with my father’s sister and his father, my aunt and grandpa, and as I have expressed my unhappiness at home, they are supportive of me as well. However, as my aunt lives further away and my grandpa is not in the best place to have me live with him, I have been with my boyfriend's family since I left home in October. I have a lot more I could say but I already feel like there are way too many parts here and so for now I’ll leave it at this. So yeah, AITA for moving out after I was treated like shit for years while witnessing the mistreatment of my sibling?

So, I was blindsided with a breakup by my ex at the start of March. Any issues were solvable but she decided to run and put it down to “losing herself”.
This breakup cut deep, to the point where my family were seriously worried for my health - but I’m not the type of person to hurt myself or do anything like that, especially over something like this.
At first, I begged, I pleaded, I tried to change her mind. All of it to no effect. She also sent lots of mixed signals, like continuing to tell me “I love you”, as well as crying and trying to kiss me on the lips multiple times when we met to exchange things back in March.
I went into no contact, failed twice - but third time I was lucky. I fell silent at the start of April after trying again to fix it - but she did show enough care to ring me on my birthday to wish me well.
I stayed in no contact and disappeared until now. And in the period of silence, she stalked my socials from her main Instagram account and then a burner. In the end, I blocked the burner as it made me feel a bit uncomfortable.
Either way, it shows she cares in some capacity, regardless of whether we get back together.
Then, on Sunday just gone, I get a text close to midnight asking how I am and that she understands if I chose not to respond. I’m not one to ignore, and I know some will say I shouldn’t have given her what she wanted since she broke up with me and shattered my heart - but for me my revenge is forgiveness and kindness (without being taken advantage of).
She wanted to catch up and a swiftly set boundaries that I’m not here to be friends or have text catchups. She respected that, but I did open the door for a face-to-face meeting, which she said “I’d love that”.
Anyway. After two days of silence I reached out and asked to see her today and she did on her lunch break. She immediately noticed the physical changes and genuinely seemed taken back.
I’ve always looked sharp with my hair and beard, but I spiced it up with earrings, which she told me to always get during our relationship, and my tattoos (that aren’t shit thank god).
We caught up about life, smiling, laughing and joking. I even joked to her “do you want me to unblock your burner account now?” To which she got shy and we had a laugh about it as it is funny. It was a good ice breaker - because it broke past the nonchalant approach.
We avoided the breakup and going over old ground and I genuinely projected my positivity which isn’t a facade. It’s genuine. I’m in a much better place.
She did ask be questions like “how long did it take you to get over the sadness?” And I gave her an honest answer. She said she was in a similar headspace but her actions mentioned above to reconnect maybe tell a different story.
She also told me she misses me and made a few suggestive jokes about being friends (with a wink) so super playful - BUT she seems set on her decision and THAT’S FINE!
I made my boundaries clear again that I’ll never be her friend. She said “but what if I need you for something?” And I said “well, you made the decision to lose me, so no”.
I did make it known that she can message but be mindful of her journey that she’s on as well as mine. If she wants to hangout, set a date and time.
There was some touching of the hands, and we did hug a few times and I made it clear that it’s likely for the last time but that’s OKAY!
So the point of this post, people, is my revenge is forgiveness. My ex made a lot of mistakes, some really bad ones that left me cut up - both during and after the relationship. I made mistakes too no doubt.
But my revenge is forgiveness and that’s why I met up with my ex today. To show her I’m fine, I’m happy, I’m evolving, and I don’t hold hate in my heart. I believe if you loved someone, you can never entirely hate them. And that’s my revenge.
I don’t know fully why she was stalking, or her true intentions and keenness to meet after a long period of silence. If I never hear from her again, that’s fine, but she’ll never be forgotten.
I wish her all the best and all the happiness in the world. Am I sad I don’t have a front row seat? Yes. Am I sad I won’t be the man waiting at the end of the wedding isle and someone else will? Absolutely.
I was sad after leaving her today but it’s normal. But I don’t feel like it set me back - I feel stronger and the ball is only in her court.
To those struggling, keep going. It gets better.

I admittedly stole my older step sister's boyfriend. I knew that he was attracted to me because I was very pretty and I took every opportunity to expose myself to him (I was a small 18 ) when he would come to pick up my sister. I would time it with perfection to walk from the bathroom completely nude in the hallway so that he could see me, I was younger than my sister, alot younger and always horny. Thanks to my grandpa, his cock was my trainer .
I married my stolen man when I turned 18 ,he was 37, divorced with a son that was 18 years old. He and I were mistaken as brother and sister a few times funny stuff to him and I..
I was admittedly a total slut all through school, my husband had never hooked up with anyone like me. My two best girlfriends and I got naked with him in the first month that we were dating. That night was responsible for getting him his first FMF threesomes and hooking him on me , the horny teenage slut..a well earned title.
We joined a nudist resort in California and my stepson went with us each time we went. Harmless family nudity, until he and I were alone in our huge old farmhouse.
My husband, his father, traveled a lot.. gone for days. My stepson had grown into a handsome athletic guy. I was still a horny slut at heart, and I couldn't resist drawing him into my panties.
One steaming hot day I was getting ready to take a shower, I asked him "would you like to take a shower with me?"Come on it'll be fun?."
It didn't take long to convince him that he and I could keep a secret. His face was between my soapy boobs, I had liquid soap all over me and he was enjoying playing with my enhanced beautiful titties.
I noticed that he had become hard immediately after getting into the shower. "Noah, is it okay if I do this"? as I grabbed his hard cock with my soapy hand?." "Wow.. okay.. I guess"?he whispered as he looked down at my hand stroking his cock and cupping his balls with my other soapy hand .
He got much harder as I squeezed and teased his straining cocks head..and "soapy" jacked him .
I spread my legs and said "will you touch me here,?" before he could answer I placed his hand on my bald soapy, slippery shaven pussy.
Oh gosh mom ," it's so soft and slippery " He started moving his fingers inside my wet crack, it was his new moms pussy, and he quickly realized, as I was jacking his erection ,that he now owned that pussy, to have, and to finger ,and certainty to fuck.
I began jerking him faster and faster, I took my free hand and pressed it over his hand and pushed two of his fingers deep inside my pussy lips, I used his fingers to rub my swollen clit side to side , faster and faster, soapy water flying everywhere.
I started shaking and moaning , a massive climax and ecstasy made me almost fall in the shower.
He was still rock hard, but freaked out.. what happened? Are you okay, did I hurt your...I stopped him before he could finish talking.
"I'm fine honey," I looked into his eyes and as I was still squeezing his cock I said "let's dry off and go to your room okay?" And that was how the rest of his formative years began, and my future secret life being my big strong 18-year-old studs own personal cum dump .
( My son was over 18 and not forced, coerced, or tricked into masturbating with his new bashful stepmommy .)..
[ this is a revised version of a confession blocked for alleged under age content. ( reminder..everyone was 18 and more..in the steamy shower)..

Matched on a dating app, we talked a bit and moved to text. Setting up plans was hard with our schedule and he told me he was out drinking the day we established plans He never replied. I told him I’d prefer meeting him when he’s not drunk, he apologized and said let’s make new plans, so I asked if we could do next week? He never replied to that. Whatever
Went back on the app, saw him so I sent a like. He replied that it’s funny seeing me again or something like that. After, I said he never replied to my last text he said he didn’t see it. When setting up these plans I was taking my time because I was worried he would ghost again. But he didn’t so we finally met.
During meeting I was kinda scared so I was pretty friendly. Our texts were just setting up plans but my friend told me to be bold and say something about how I’m excited to see him, he liked that and got more flirty too.
After the date, I was still thinking we wouldn’t go on a second one because he didn’t ask me out again. But he texted and we texted for a few days. The last message was from me, I asked a question and he didn’t reply. Been a few weeks. I was pleasantly surprised by him messaging but he asked:
Did you get home safe I said yes and great meeting him, he said likewise. Not sure if I could’ve done more or what I can improve
TL:DR; we matched 2 times on the app and he ghosted the first time as we were making plans. Finally made plans and then after we met up he texted but stopped. I saw him on the app again

This might be a long read so brace yourself ...
When I'm asking if I'm being in the wrong here I only mean in terms of accountability and in regards to the situation and not so much about the wrong or right itself and would like some insight/advice basically..
TLDR:

Mixed feelings about a girl I just been dating for a few weeks or so? We only met around 2 times in person since she's somewhat busy. I feel like I'm putting more effort and energy than receiving it but unsure if it's just because the other person prefer taking things slow but I can't tell because whenever I ask her if she's interested, she's always kinda deflecting the subject. She's going to be away for the next 4 months so I won't be able to talk to her and our last convo this morning was kinda awkward ..

Relationships Background: I met my first ex a few months ago and she gave me a speedrun of everything most couple would usually do after a few months and since I didn't know any better I just went with it since she was my first everything. It ended with her initiating the breakup after less than a month after 2 weeks of long distance after she came to visit me. She gave me the "it's not you, it's me" and "you are the first one to treat me right" (she had multiple partners). She was also a bit insecure and sensitive and needed constant reassurance.
In the case of [HER], all her exes are by products of one night stands which ended up into relationship because they all asked her for one to her surprised and she just agreed with them. She described as liking them but not really ever falling in love with them so I guess I'm the first one to be fall into that category. In [HER] case, she is highly confident about herself and in what she accomplish (makes a lot more money than the average person). She gets self gratification from making money even though she can just live off her parents wealth but she finds having nothing to do boring so she became independent.
With that in mind, here's how this story starts.
On April 3rd, I reinstall Hinge because I want to have some new connection after moving on from my ex. It's not until April 23rd when I match with [HER]. At first I was surprised since I didn't expect it so I express my surprised via text in which she later explained her side via a voice note saying that she thought I looked like one of her students so she was afraid someone would recognize her which is her fear so she never matched with me. (I sent her a total of around 4 likes because I used to delete my account and make a new one again and her acc would always show and she kinda recognize from that as well.)
After that, we just exchange a lot of voice notes talking to each other about stuff and things which later I ask if its okay for me to ask her to go out on a date at this point. She then explains she has some requirements before actually going on a date with someone, she prefers getting someone a little bit more and seeing if we're compatible before meeting since she finds it weird how most people would rush which I agreed.
From there, we talk a bit more via voice note where she asks me what's my definition of love and my concept of relationships which she said almost is the same as hers. She explained for her to fall in love for someone it would at least take her 5 years or so and that's after they're able to past the 4 stages of love described in her own way; honeymoon phase, difference, compromise and initial stage of love.
The next day we just talk some more via text and and voice notes till 2 AM and what not talking about random things and life. At this point, I thought we had some good chemistry or so. We later talk about our exes and stuff.
A few days later I then try and ask again for a date since it felt like we had established some sort of rapport and knew a bit more of each other. She then tells me more about her schedule and how busy she'll be and how she'll be traveling soon in the next 2 weeks for her school stuff. At some point she said she had a symposium she was organizing at the university and I asked if it would be weird If I came to see her.
She said she didn't mind but wouldn't have time to cater me since it would be busy. Please also note that up until this point, I didn't know her real name since in Hinge she's using some random name and I didn't really ask her about it since I guess she didn't want to but I figure me showing up to that event, I would at least find what's her name which I did.
Anyways day comes and I show up to the event, it's is a medium size classroom. I didn't recognize her at first since she had a different haircut. I didn't wanna intrude or anything so I just sat there listening to the event till the end. I didn't really get the chance to talk to her or anything by the end since they had an after party and whatnot so I decided to head home instead feeling somewhat weird? So rather than just heading straight home I just sat there on the subway train listening to music instead. I texted her saying I wished we could have spent a bit of time together but you looked so busy and what not.
After a few minutes later I decide to head out for a walk because I was just feeling weird, I then see a text from her inviting me to help with returning books to the library if I want to which I agreed. To my surprised she showed up with two luggages .. which we just walked around till we reach the library. From there, I got to finally meet her in person and talk to her for a bit. I thought we had a good time, by the end I walked her home and that was mostly. We just kinda waved to her each and say goodbye to each other. I was kinda thirsty that night so I asked her for water but she gave me some korean brand banana juice instead. I then later send her a text thanking her for inviting me to help her which she doesn't reply to.
She's usually only replies if I initiate the conversation first which then let me gaslight myself into thinking it's because she's probably busy .. anyways we text each other for a bit that night because I asked for her number later instead of using Hinge. I then get somewhat down bad and ask if I can see her again tomorrow in which she replies "what's the benefit of seeing you again tomorrow?" which I thought was funny but she was serious. She had to write her REB so I guess she didn't really have time.
It's then the weekend and on the morning of Saturday she invites me to join her to the library and then we can eat at some place later if I want to where she'll be busy working on some stuff. She emphasize that she'll be annoyed if she is disturbed while trying to get work done which I didn't mind since my work is online and I only need a laptop to work.
I showed up at the library a bit early and letting her know, she then tells me she's going to get some coffee nearby first and then meet me so I wait for her at the library. Around 30 min goes by and I start getting a bit worried because she still hasn't showed up and hasn't given me any updates at which point I text her if anything is alright or if she's safe and what not. I get no answers for a bit then later she texts me she's inside where I was on my way to the coffee so I go back inside and then we just sit near each other and focus on our work. I give her the same korean banana juice which I found later at some korean market I went by to buy before meeting her. A few hours goes by we then go to a japanese place by walking there so I get to speak with her for a bit which was nice. I then pay for the bill then walk her home and then again we just wave to each other and say goodbye.
At this point, there has been no physical affection or the sort. Her body language isn't really telling me she's comfortable so I'm not really going for it even though I'm starving for it. I figure she prefers taking things slow so I'll go at her pace. Again, I text her later thanking her for inviting me and spending some time together which I appreciate. She doesn't really reply and giving me back the same energy.
So constantly, I'm always wondering if she's interested in me or enjoy spending time with me. When I ask her about it, it most of the time gets deflected or maybe it's a language barrier and I don't always get what she means when she sends some of her texts if I'm being honest but for some reason I find it cute. it's not like she's playing hard to get but it's confusing to say the least.
Anyways, because of that, I became hesitant to make plans to see her again since she doesn't really people calling her on the phone either unless absolutely necessary she explained to which I joked saying if I'm about to die then I'll call you.
After that second "date". i just try to limit my interaction to texting her a few text daily or so because I just wanted to have some kind of interaction with her. At this point I realized this may or may not be a one-side interest but then I gaslight myself thinking, she's a busy person and still makes some time for me so surely she's interested in some way?.
After a week or so of daily interaction I decide to somewhat stop contact because I also wanted to focus on my stuff and perhaps explore my other dating options if any .. a week goes by and I never hear from her again until one day she just sends me a text that just finished working at some factory as an interpreter and that her phone will be temporarily be disabled because she'll be traveling.
I then expressed my surprised because I figured she had forgotten about me and whatnot. We then exchange a few text here and there, we both caught a cold and talked about how shitty the weather is here and stuff. Again, I'm always the one having to initiate or there won't be any contact .. like at all. So it's hard for me to know if the person is interested even when being asked so I'm left with just overthinking.
Anyways, I ask her more about what time she's leaving and what time and if she wants to spends the last 2 days eating out and spending time together and stuff.
She said she went to some resto the day before but it was busy and had no table because of mother's day. At this point, I looked up the resto because I wanted to make some reservation so we could go there but I stopped myself because I had no idea what kind of situationship this was and if I was putting more effort and not receiving any. So I ended up sleeping instead.
The next day in the morning she texts me she went back to that resto but found out it's only open on certain days for brunch so she was sad and we exchanged a few random texts from that.
then the next day, this is our last conversation this morning before she's away for the next 4 months ..
ME

Will I see you again after 4 months or this is goodbye..? I feel a bit envious of your exes because they all got to be in a relationship with you and meet the girlfriend version of [HER] and all I ever got seems to be the busy version that just sends me off saying bye bye and leaving me confused most of the time with her texts haha 😅

HER

? wtf you don at 6 am plus even boyfriends need to see me off for the summer. I only going for fieldwork, not leaving. don't worry, you will see me when I'm back

ME

I was trying to fix my sleep schedule and I ended up waking up early randomly and then you were in my thoughts idk What do you mean I'll see you after you're back, are you saying you want me to wait for you? 😭 I don't even know what we are, I figured you're too busy to think about that or me as an option so I'm left overthinking.. I would have wanted to see you off but I didn't know where we stand

HER

I thought you gonna visit yesterday since you asked

ME

I wanted to but I didn't know if you wanted me to since it seemed you wanted to go to [restaurant] I was gonna make reservations there but then I realized I might be doing too much because I don't know we're in a relationship or just buddies. Now you leave in one hour and I'm even more confused

HER

Can't you see the problem in your first 'relationship' is that you guys rush everything? In my opinion, you don't know how to form healthy relationships. Take it slow. If you want to see me, make plans. Don't moan afterwards this and that. I can tell you I have always been very busy even with boyfriends. I suggest you set goals and we can celebrate together once you achieve them. I will be back in September. You're welcome to contact me then.

ME

Yes I agree that rushing was the issue in my first but in this case it's more of a mutual interest and communication. From my perspective, it seems like I'm chasing you for some reason because I'm not getting the same energy that I'm sending out. It seems you only respond if I initiate first. I'm always left wondering if you actually want to spend time with me or interested. When I ask you about that, you seem to be deflecting instead of giving me a straight answer or tell me how you feel.. I literally have no idea what you feel most of the time aside from being busy

I can take it slow as a 100 years as long that I know the other person is also interested in building something together in the near future with me. I do want to make plans but it's hard to differentiate if I'm being used for my kindness or for attention when I receive no reassurance when being asked for it? Surely you understand the concept of return on investment.
Or maybe you're right, maybe I'm the problem idk..
HER

well, investment. I would say even my friends invest more on me than you, if you really want to argue that. I also think if we can't make good friends, we won't make good couples. If you rush things, I will retreat because I need my independence more than anything. Make you own choice. Do not talk like a victim.

I didnt really reply anything after that because well not sure how to respond after reading that so I ended up on reddit instead.
NEED OBJECTIVE OPINIONS/ADVICES? I consider myself pretty in tune with myself and my emotions but here I find myself a bit confused and I can't tell if I'm getting clingy or obsessive or too close to the situation to think clearly so I figured I'd make a post and hear some of yall thoughts on this to see if maybe I'm the one who still need to work on myself or maybe we're just not compatible? I guess it would also help me get some closure and not feel so shitty.
p.s if you made it this far, thank you for reading and hopefully you have some insight on my situation since I do not have that much experience when it comes to dating certain girls.
i also passively use twitter and saw this tweet that goes: I’ve noticed I don’t have an issue communicating. My issue is people’s responses . It’s the lack of accountability and the one-sided perceptions that I cannot tolerate.
And I thought that was kinda how I'm feeling right now but not sure ...

Forst of all sorry for any english error or something, its not my fist language. Here we go. She's pretty, smart, cute, funny lets call her Emme, but also my bestfriend and she's also my other bestfriend ex lets call him John, when we are alone she makes me happy asf and she gives me attention but when we are with him ( her ex, thats also my bestfriend ) she can only look at him even after saying she doesnt love him. Im pretty sure that she just sees me as good friend and nothing else plus the fact that she says im one of her bestfriends but she doesnt give me attention like she does to others ehen we are not alone. She's into older guys that play basketball ( no idea why, and its not anout height cuz 2 of the guys she like were around my height 1,73 -1,76 meters tall, im from Europe yes). Everytime we are with John they flirt all the time like they are a couple, they ended on good terms but to make a quick resume they started dating after already being bestfriends, nothing official but it was going but even with they seeming like they have a lot in common they different and strong opinuons on basic things like religion, relationships and etc so he messed up and said he made a mistake starting dating her so they ended on " good terms " but they both got hurt bad, especially Emme, and i was there to support her, now after some time they are confortanle eith eachother again and o cant stand i get unconfortable near them and with their " flirting " and idk what to do. They are good persons and they both helped me alot on a hard part of my life and ik they just dont understand what they are doing. Talking to them is not an option cuz i dont eanna lose friendship but everyday it just gets worse. I know that at the end of the day its my decisions but i could really use some help. Thanks in advance if u were able to read all this. To clarify, we are from the same class and same age they just a few months older than me.

I’m so glad this sub exists because I’ve been annoying everyone in my life with my theories about these two … I figured this would be the right place to post my speculation/lyric breakdowns of songs that they may have written about each other, split into different posts for albums for ease of reading.
Starting with Reputation (2017) – I imagine the failed relationship with Matty was still fresh for Taylor during the writing/recording of this album. Her reference to her “longings locked in lowercase inside a vault” definitely made me look back at Rep in a way I hadn’t before (and I do think we’ll see some Matty-coded vault tracks on TV”. That said I don’t want to erase her other relationships, especially with Joe, so I’ll make notes of where I think I’m either stretching for a Matty connection or I think there are multiple muses.
Special mention to “Getaway Car” which feels like another (fictionalized?) response to Robbers but the story she tells is very similar to her fling with Tom, especially given the third man in the song. I usually claim it for the maylors anyway bc who cares about Tom. Let me know what you think.
“...Ready For It?”
Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him / Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted / But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom
I can't ignore the connections here to two other songs thought to be written about M - Ghost (2014) and Haunted (2015) by Halsey (I won't bother going into the HalseyMatty lore here but I could in another post...)
"You're a Rolling Stone boy, never-sleep-alone boy / Got a million numbers and they're filling up your phone, boy" (Ghost) "I'm begging you to keep on haunting me" (Haunted) "My ghost / Where'd you go? / I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me" (Ghost)
I can be a phantom holdin' him for ransom / Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me / Stealing hearts and running off and never saying sorry / But if I'm a thief, then he can join the heist / And he can be my jailer
Robbers is one of The 1975’s most famous songs. In the music video two lovers stick up a convenience store - definitely worth a watch if you haven't seen it. In 2014 M dedicated the song to T in Dallas in November 2017 (a week after she attended the concert in LA) here and here
Burton to this Taylor
One of my favorite references that I think reveals a lot about the messy but irresistible relationship M and T seem to have. Here's a link to a great article about the wild love affair between Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.
Every love I've known in comparison is a failure / I forget their names now, I'm so very tame now / Never be the same now
This sentiment is repeated throughout many of the songs I believe are about M. The idea of a life altering love is obviously prevalent across TTPD but also in folklore, evermore, and Midnights. ex. "I'm never gonna love again" (cowboy like me), "I don't remember who I was before you painted all my nights a color I have searched for since" (Question...?), "I felt aglow like this / Never before and never since" (loml)
Also want to mention This Must Be My Dream from 2016, which M has said is about an older gf but may fit: "Let me tell you 'bout this girl / I thought she'd rearrange my world"
No one has to know / In the middle of the night, in my dreams / You should see the things we do, baby
See Guilty as Sin? lol
Baby, let the games begin
Taylor in an interview with Glamour in February 2014:
TS: [Nods. Pauses.] I think everyone should approach relationships from the perspective of playing it straight and giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Until he establishes that this is a game. And if it's a game, you need to win. The best thing to do is just walk away from the table.
CL: Is that winning?
TS: It is when they come back. [Laughs.] And if they don't, then they didn't care enough to begin with.
conclusion: I believe ...Ready For It? is a response to Robbers and reveals M and T's similar romanticism (sometimes toxic but so addicting). The mirrored stylization of ...Ready For It? and Question...? makes me think the latter is a continuation of the former. The mentions of “island breeze” and “we’ll move to an island” have made people believe this song is about Tom Hiddleston but other lyrics, namely “younger than my exes” pretty clearly contradicts that.
"End Game"
I wanna be your end game / I wanna be your first string /I wanna be your A-Team
Funny reading this after The Alchemy and So High School.
Big reputation, big reputation / Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations / And you heard about me / Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation
And they were! Especially because T hadn't been really linked to anyone after Harry, the speculation about her and M came hard and fast. M especially was inundated with questions in the months after the LA and NYC shows.
And I heard about you / You like the bad ones, too
Another possible reference to a Halsey song, this time Hurricane from 2014: "He says, "Oh, baby, beggin' you to save me / Well, lately I like 'em crazy/ Oh, maybe, you could devastate me"
I don't wanna touch you, I don't wanna be / Just another ex-love you don't wanna see / I don't wanna miss you / Like the other girls do
Very reminiscent of The 1975's song Somebody Else, released in 2016, speculated to be about T: "I don't want your body / But I hate to think about you with somebody else"
I hit you like bang, we tried to forget it, but we just couldn't
"Flashbacks waking me up / I get drunk, but it's not enough" (Death By A Thousand Cuts)
And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put 'em
"I circled you on a map / I haven't come around in so long" (The Alchemy)
Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy
"And they tried to warn you about me" (The Albatross)
And I can't let you go, your hand prints on my soul
"Marked me like a bloodstain" (Cardigan)
It's like your eyes are liquor, it's like your body is gold
So many of the songs speculated to be about M reference his eyes but the most relevant (not the starry eyed motif which we'll get to in the future) are: "Eyes like sinking ships on waters / So inviting I almost jump in" (gold rush) and "But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet / Now I'm all for you like Janet" (Snow On The Beach)
"Deep blue, but you painted me golden" (Dancing With Our Hands Tied)
You've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks / So here's the truth from my red lips
From the same Glamour article, Taylor talking about her 'trick' when dating:
CL: What's the freeze-out?
TS: You don't respond to any of his texts or calls until he does something desperate [like] shows up. Or he calls and leaves a voice mail. Something that makes it very clear to you that he's interested.
disclaimer: I am someone who thinks the Tom relationship was not that serious for T, so this song imo fits what she may have told us about her relationship with M more, though the beach reference does point to Tom in a way.
"Don't Blame Me"
I've been breaking hearts a long time / And toying with them older guys / Just playthings for me to use
See the quotes from the Glamour article above. "Younger than my exes, but he act like such a man, so" (...Ready For It?)
Something happened for the first time / In the darkest little paradise
May refer to the dark concert venue where they met for the first time (see So It Goes... for more)
For you / I would cross the line / I would waste my time / I would lose my mind / They say, "She's gone too far this time."
Sentiment that is repeated throughout TTPD, but most clearly in But Daddy I Love Him
My name is whatever you decide / And I'm just gonna call you mine
Though this could be a stretch, in the spotify storyline for The 1975's Oh Caroline (2022), speculated to be about T, M said "It's an invented character, where the cadence really mattered. It couldn't be "Oh Linda" or "Oh Jane" [or "Oh Taylor"] - you had to have a 3 syllable that really works. I knew what the song was about, I had felt that about someone before and I got to write an episodic, mini movie about the subject"
disclaimer: If about M, this song is very on the nose with the drug references. Generally it's a very vague song and could easily be about Joe or another ex.
"So It Goes..."
See you in the dark / All eyes on you, my magician / All eyes on us / You make everyone disappear
Likely refers to the first time T saw M in person, when she was front row at The 1975's LA show. All eyes were on M then (including T's)
"Once upon a time, the planets and the fates / And all the stars aligned / You and I ended up in the same room / At the same time" (Mastermind)
Tripping, tripping when you're gone
May relate to Don't Blame Me: "Trip of my life / every time you're touching me"
'Cause we breakdown a little / But when you get me alone, it's so simple
Maybe a stretch but M famously had a breakdown on stage in Boston on December 6, 2014. In an interview with the Guardian he said: “There was girl stuff. There was family stuff. There was financial stuff. There was drug stuff. I remember hearing the crowd and having an identity crisis. I thought: ‘If you want to see a show, I’ll give you a fucking show. If you’ve come to see the jester drink himself into a slumber, I’ll give it to you.’ I felt like I’d become an idea as opposed to being a person.”
“And I was 25 and afraid to go outside” (Give Yourself a Try)
And all the pieces fall / Right into place
"I laid the groundwork and then, just like clockwork / The dominoes cascaded in a line" (Mastermind)
Getting caught up in a moment / Lipstick on your face
"I said, "Don't fall in love with the moment" / She said I've got a lot to learn / Don't fall in love with the moment /And think you're in love with the girl" (She's American)
Come here, dressed in black now
"Yeah, we're dressed in black from head to toe" (Chocolate). Taylor was also wearing all black the night of the LA show.
conclusion: You did a number on me / But, honestly, baby, who's counting? / I did a number on you / But, honestly, baby, who's counting? ( "King of My Heart"
We met a few weeks ago / Now you try on callin' me "baby" like tryin' on clothes
The reason why I don't necessarily think Joe fits. They met at the Met Gala in 2017 and she very quickly started seeing Tom, obviously it could still be him but I wanted to note this.
"Don't call me 'kid,' don't call me 'baby' / Look at this idiotic fool that you made me" (illicit affairs)
And you move to me like I'm a Motown beat
M loves Motown, even sampling a track by The Temptations on Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy). He's also always loved dancing, which you can see in the videos for A Change of Heart and Oh Caroline.
Salute to me I'm your American Queen / Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff
He's English, obviously.
And we rule the kingdom inside my room / With all these nights we're spending / Up on the roof with a school girl crush
Totally speculation but M and T hiding out in her NYC home makes a lot of sense from other pieces she has shared about the relationship “My kingdom come undone” (Hoax)
Late in the night, the city's asleep / Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep
Speculation again but fits with the story of M and T as mostly loving each other in secret (see Dancing With Our Hands Tied and Dress)
Is this the end of all the endings? / My broken bones are mending
As mentioned above, T had seemingly taken a break from dating after the breakup with Harry.
disclaimer: Definitely not 100% sure on this one as there is convincing evidence that it is about J
"Dancing With Our Hands Tied"
I, I loved you in secret / First sight, yeah, we love without reason / Oh, 25 years old
M and T were both born in 1989, M was 25 when they first met and dated and T was turning 25.
My, my love had been frozen / People started talking, putting us through our paces / I knew there was no one in the world who could take it / I loved you in spite of / Deep fears that the world would divide us
“A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground / With no one around to tweet it” (The Lakes)
In an interview with the Guardian Matty said: “The day after she’d been to a show of ours, someone sent me a screenshot of E! News with the headline ‘Who is Matt Healy?’ That freaked me out. I’m not ready to indulge in that world and I’m not ready to be judged by that world.” So sad to read knowing that they dealt with a similar situation nearly a decade later.
Picture of your face in an invisible locket
“Wear you like a necklace” (So It Goes…)
And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis
“Now you hang from my lips / Like the Gardens of Babylon / With your boots beneath my bed” (cowboy like me)
I'd kiss you as the lights went out / Swaying as the room burned down / I'd hold you as the water rushes in / If I could dance with you again
Reminds me so much of the music video for cardigan, where T slips into a rough ocean and hangs on to a piano. Also from cardigan: “Leaving like a father / Running like water”
“Dress”
Our secret moments in a crowded room / They got no idea about me and you
"Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room / And every single one of your friends was / Making fun of you" (Question...?)
There is an indentation in the shape of you / Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo
M seemingly makes a lasting impression: “Deep blue, but you painted me golden” (Dancing With Our Hands Tied) “The mark they saw on my collarbone” (Maroon) “Marked me like a bloodstain” (cardigan)
'Cause I don't want you like a best friend
T often seems to refer to a friendship with M, perhaps they tried it a few times: “We were supposed to be just friends” (Glitch) “Like you were my closest friend” (Maroon) “Just say when, I'd play again / He was my best friend / Down at the sandlot” (My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys)
And if I get burned, at least we were electrified
“I'd kiss you as the lights went out / Swaying as the room burned down” (Dancing With Our Hands Tied)
I'm spilling wine in the bathtub / You kiss my face and we're both drunk
Many of the possible M songs refer to M and T’s love of wine. “And I can see us twisted in bedsheets / August slipped away like a bottle of wine” (august) “The burgundy on my T-shirt when you splashed your wine into me / And how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was (maroon)” (Maroon)
disclaimer - Obviously most likely about Joe given the reference to the 2017 Met Gala but I think it was worth a mention!
“Call It What You Want”
My baby's fly like a jet stream / High above the whole scene
Probably a double-entendre. M considers himself slightly on the outside of the ‘scene’ but this can come across as self assurance. This also could refer to literally being high on drugs
Loves me like I'm brand new
After T’s clever use of The Starting Line in TTPD I’m convinced she’s referring to the band Brand New. M posted a Brand New album on his ig story in 2020.
All my flowers grew back as thorns
An interesting contrast to “I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy” from Don’t Blame Me
Windows boarded up after the storm
“I look through the windows of this love / Even though we boarded them up” (Death By A Thousand Cuts)
I'm laughing with my lover
“Laughing with my feet in your lap” (Maroon) “Please don't ever become a stranger / Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” (New Year’s Day)
Making forts under covers
Matty famously built a fort in ATPOAIM 3. “I'll build you a fort on some planet / Where they can all understand it” (Down Bad)
Trust him like a brother
“Like I lost my twin” (Down Bad)
Starry eyes sparking up my darkest night
So many starry eyed references which is terribly romantic and terribly sad. “Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes?” (High Infidelity), “Your opal eyes are all I wish to see” (ivy), “Eyes full of stars” (cowboy like me), and “Gazing at me starry-eyed” (The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived)
I want to wear his initial on a chain 'round my neck
“Picture of your face in an invisible locket” (Dancing With Our Hands Tied) “Wear you like a necklace” (So It Goes…)
I recall late November, holding my breath
Late November fits perfectly into the timeline of M and T’s 2014 relationship. Late October to Late DecembeEarly January makes the most sense.
Slowly I said, "You don't need to save me / But would you run away with me?"
“You're mad thinking you could ever save me. Not looking like that.” (A Change of Heart)
disclaimer: Again lots of Joe references in this as well so take this with a grain of salt.
“New Year’s Day”
You and me from the night before, but / Don't read the last page
From Me and You Together Song (2020): “I think the story needs more pages, yes.” The reference to “the last page” also makes this song feel like more of a reminiscence than a song about a current lover.
I want your midnights / But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day
Impossible not to reread these lyrics after Midnights was released as a nod to M: “When the morning came we / Were cleaning incense off your / Vinyl shelf ‘cause we lost track of time again” (Maroon)
You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi / I can tell that it's gonna be a long road / I'll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe / Or if you strike out and you're crawling home
Especially after the release of TTPD it seems that both T and M made many promises to each other that they couldn’t keep
Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you / Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you / Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you / And I will hold on to you
The reference to memories here creates a bit of a confusing feeling about the muse for this song. Although T seems to be talking in the present tense I do think these are memories and dreams for a past relationship.
“Hold on and hope that we'll find our way back in the end / Do you think I have forgotten? / Do you think I have forgotten? / Do you think I have forgotten / About you?” (About You)
Please don't ever become a stranger / Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere / Please don't ever become a stranger / Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
Not much to say about this but ow!
You and me forevermore
Again reminds me of Me and You Together Song (which I do buy as a song at least partially about T). And of course links to Evermore.
disclaimer: This could absolutely be about Joe but it does feel almost like a goodbye to M, closing the album. It’s as if she is reading “the last page”
Congrats if you read this lol. I clearly have too much time on my hands

I (29m) was dating this amazing woman (31f) for about 8 months before having to move interstate for work. We did long distance for a few months, but it didn’t work so we ended things about 3 months ago. Then out of the blue she messaged me saying breaking up was a mistake and that we should try again over long distance. I think I am still in love with her and this threw me in a spiral.
Then, to make things even more complicated, I met another amazing woman (26f) recently. She is exactly my type and I am extremely attracted to her. She is funny, caring, is really intelligent and seems really into me. I actually see a lot of potential for us. But whenever we’re together, I feel guilty and it almost feels like I’m cheating.
I don’t know what to do. Should I let my ex go and try things out with the new one? Should I just try long distance again? What would you do?

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac dates
10 things about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac traits
cancer zodiac personality
cancer zodiac symbol
cancer zodiac month
cancer zodiac tattoo
cancer zodiac characteristics
cancer zodiac facts
cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac animal
cancer zodiac and capricorn
cancer zodiac art
cancer zodiac aesthetic
cancer zodiac air sign
cancer zodiac astrology
cancer zodiac attributes
cancer zodiac and scorpio
cancer zodiac and aries
cancer zodiac and aquarius
about cancer zodiac sign
all about cancer zodiac
are cancer zodiac dangerous
about cancer zodiac sign girl
age of cancer zodiac
attributes of cancer zodiac sign
after cancer zodiac
animal for cancer zodiac sign
anime characters cancer zodiac
aries and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac birthday
cancer zodiac bad traits
cancer zodiac birthstone
cancer zodiac best match
cancer zodiac birth dates
cancer zodiac body part
cancer zodiac background
cancer zodiac bracelet
cancer zodiac best friends
cancer zodiac baby girl
best crystals for cancer zodiac
bad things about cancer zodiac
boy cancer zodiac
best match for cancer zodiac
birthday wishes for cancer zodiac
best color for cancer zodiac
best job for cancer zodiac
best stone for cancer zodiac
birthstone for cancer zodiac
bracelet for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer zodiac color
cancer zodiac celebrities
cancer zodiac constellation
cancer zodiac crystals
cancer zodiac color palette
cancer zodiac characteristics female
cancer zodiac compatibility chart
cancer zodiac chinese
cancer zodiac sign dates
cancer zodiac dates range
cancer zodiac description
cancer zodiac days
cancer zodiac demon
cancer zodiac drawing
cancer zodiac daily
cancer zodiac dates 2024
cancer zodiac dogs
cancer zodiac dark side
definition of cancer zodiac sign
dates for cancer zodiac sign
dark side of cancer zodiac signs
dragon cancer zodiac
different types of cancer zodiac
demon cancer zodiac
does cancer zodiac have anger issues
description of cancer zodiac sign
double cancer zodiac
diamond for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac element
cancer zodiac emoji
cancer zodiac enemies
cancer zodiac explained
cancer zodiac earrings
cancer zodiac energy
cancer zodiac ear piercing
cancer zodiac eyes
cancer zodiac español
cancer zodiac emotionally manipulative
everything about cancer zodiac
evolved cancer zodiac
element of cancer zodiac
evil cancer zodiac
enemy of cancer zodiac
emerald for cancer zodiac
easy cancer zodiac drawing
emotional cancer zodiac
explain cancer zodiac sign
everything you need to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac flower
cancer zodiac flower tattoo
cancer zodiac for today
cancer zodiac female
cancer zodiac favorite color
cancer zodiac famous people
cancer zodiac fire sign
cancer zodiac friends
cancer zodiac facts male
facts about cancer zodiac sign
facts about cancer zodiac woman
fun facts about cancer zodiac
famous cancer zodiac
flower for cancer zodiac
facts about cancer zodiac man
features of cancer zodiac sign
female cancer zodiac sign
friends of cancer zodiac
funny cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac girl
cancer zodiac gemstone
cancer zodiac greek god
cancer zodiac god
cancer zodiac goddess
cancer zodiac gif
cancer zodiac gem
cancer zodiac good and bad traits
cancer zodiac good in bed
cancer zodiac gifts
good things about cancer zodiac
geek bar cancer zodiac flavor
gemstone for cancer zodiac
girl cancer zodiac
gifts for cancer zodiac man
gifts for cancer zodiac woman
gemstone for cancer zodiac sign
girly cancer zodiac tattoo
god of cancer zodiac
gem for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac horoscope today
cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac health problems
cancer zodiac horoscope 2024
cancer zodiac history
cancer zodiac house
cancer zodiac hand tattoo
cancer zodiac hair color
cancer zodiac hoodie
cancer zodiac humor
how rare is cancer zodiac sign
happy birthday cancer zodiac
how is cancer zodiac sign
how dangerous is cancer zodiac
how to be friends with a cancer zodiac
how will cancer zodiac die
how to deal with cancer zodiac sign
healing crystals for cancer zodiac
habits of cancer zodiac
herbs for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac in hindi
cancer zodiac in chinese
cancer zodiac images
cancer zodiac in telugu
cancer zodiac info
cancer zodiac in spanish
cancer zodiac is what month
cancer zodiac in relationships
cancer zodiac information
cancer zodiac in 2024
is cancer zodiac dangerous
interesting facts about cancer zodiac
is cancer zodiac rare
information about cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac rich or poor
instagram bio for cancer zodiac
images of cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac sign lucky
indian celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
is cancer zodiac a water sign
cancer zodiac jewelry
cancer zodiac jobs
cancer zodiac july
cancer zodiac june
cancer zodiac january 2024
cancer zodiac june 21
cancer zodiac japanese
cancer zodiac july 22
cancer zodiac june 27
cancer zodiac july 16
july cancer zodiac
jobs for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac sign
july cancer zodiac traits
jewelry for cancer zodiac
june cancer zodiac personality
june cancer zodiac traits
june vs july cancer zodiac
july birthday cancer zodiac
jade for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac kids
cancer zodiac keywords
cancer zodiac keychain
cancer zodiac kpop idols
cancer zodiac killers
cancer zodiac karma
cancer zodiac know for
cancer zodiac keyboard symbol
cancer zodiac child
cancer zodiac knight
kpop idols cancer zodiac
kpop idols who have cancer zodiac sign
korean actors cancer zodiac
korean celebrities with cancer zodiac sign
katangian ng cancer zodiac
karaang napta cancer zodiac sign
karma cancer zodiac
what kind of person is cancer zodiac sign
things to know about cancer zodiac
everything to know about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac lucky numbers
cancer zodiac love
cancer zodiac logo
cancer zodiac love language
cancer zodiac lucky colors
cancer zodiac love compatibility
cancer zodiac libra
cancer zodiac lips
cancer zodiac least compatibility
cancer zodiac leo
lucky stone for cancer zodiac sign
logo cancer zodiac
leo and cancer zodiac sign
lucky color for cancer zodiac
lucky wallpaper for cancer zodiac
lucky number for cancer zodiac sign
lunar eclipse effect on cancer zodiac
libra and cancer zodiac sign compatibility
last day of cancer zodiac
love life of cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac meaning
cancer zodiac men
cancer zodiac memes
cancer zodiac match
cancer zodiac month dates
cancer zodiac moon sign
cancer zodiac moon
cancer zodiac meaning male
cancer zodiac meaning female
meaning of cancer zodiac sign
male cancer zodiac
meaningful cancer zodiac tattoo
more about cancer zodiac sign
month of cancer zodiac sign
moonstone for cancer zodiac
month of cancer zodiac
male cancer zodiac tattoo
match for cancer zodiac
mlbb cancer zodiac skin
cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac negative traits
cancer zodiac number
cancer zodiac names
cancer zodiac nails
cancer zodiac nail designs
cancer zodiac nicknames
cancer zodiac necklace gold
cancer zodiac neck tattoo
cancer zodiac necklace silver
nicknames for cancer zodiac
names for cancer zodiac girl
nature of cancer zodiac sign
names for cancer zodiac boy
negatives of cancer zodiac
nature of cancer zodiac
number for cancer zodiac
nba players cancer zodiac
names related to cancer zodiac
next to cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac outfits
cancer zodiac origin
cancer zodiac opposite
cancer zodiac opposite sign
cancer zodiac overview
cancer zodiac of the day
cancer zodiac oc
cancer zodiac origin story
cancer zodiac occupations
cancer zodiac other names
opposite of cancer zodiac
one word to describe cancer zodiac
other names for cancer zodiac
outfits for cancer zodiac sign
opal for cancer zodiac
one piece cancer zodiac
october cancer zodiac
onyx for cancer zodiac
another word for cancer zodiac
ox cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac personality traits
cancer zodiac planet
cancer zodiac personality female
cancer zodiac personality male
cancer zodiac pictures
cancer zodiac powers
cancer zodiac pros and cons
cancer zodiac pendant
cancer zodiac power color
personality of cancer zodiac sign
picture of cancer zodiac sign
pros and cons of cancer zodiac
pictures of cancer zodiac sign girl
planet for cancer zodiac
pisces and cancer zodiac sign
power of cancer zodiac sign
pearl for cancer zodiac
peacock cancer zodiac
perfect match for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac quotes
cancer zodiac qualities
cancer zodiac quotes funny
cancer zodiac quiz
cancer zodiac questions
cancer zodiac quote of the day
cancer zodiac quiet
cancer zodiac quiz buzzfeed
cancer zodiac quora
cancer zodiac queen
qualities of cancer zodiac sign
qualities of a cancer zodiac
quotes about cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac
quotes for cancer zodiac sign
quiet cancer zodiac
questions for cancer zodiac
questions to ask a cancer zodiac sign
quiz for cancer zodiac
quora cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac reading
cancer zodiac red flags
cancer zodiac reading today
cancer zodiac ruling planet
cancer zodiac rising sign
cancer zodiac relationship
cancer zodiac reddit
cancer zodiac ring
cancer zodiac range
cancer zodiac rappers
ring for cancer zodiac
ruby for cancer zodiac
rabbit cancer zodiac
red flag cancer zodiac
rappers that are cancer zodiac sign
real cancer zodiac facts
rat cancer zodiac
ruling planet of cancer zodiac sign
random facts about cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac sign traits
cancer zodiac sign meaning
cancer zodiac sign month
cancer zodiac stone
cancer zodiac soulmate
cancer zodiac sign compatibility
cancer zodiac sign tattoo
sign of cancer zodiac
stones for cancer zodiac
symbol for cancer zodiac
stone for cancer zodiac sign
symbol of cancer zodiac sign
scary facts about cancer zodiac
serial killers with cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac tattoo ideas
cancer zodiac today
cancer zodiac tattoos for females
cancer zodiac traits female
cancer zodiac traits male
cancer zodiac tattoos for guys
cancer zodiac tarot card
cancer zodiac type
traits of cancer zodiac
things about cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac
types of cancer zodiac
tattoo ideas for cancer zodiac
the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
tattoo cancer zodiac sign
today cancer zodiac
today cancer zodiac sign
today's cancer zodiac horoscope
cancer zodiac urban dictionary
cancer zodiac usernames
cancer zodiac upset
cancer zodiac usa today
cancer zodiac usernames for instagram
cancer zodiac unlucky numbers
cancer zodiac unlucky color
cancer zodiac urdu
cancer zodiac unique facts
cancer zodiac unlucky
unique cancer zodiac tattoos
unique cancer zodiac tattoos for females
ugali ng cancer zodiac sign
understanding cancer zodiac
username for cancer zodiac
urban dictionary cancer zodiac sign
unhealthy cancer zodiac
usa today cancer zodiac
unknown facts about cancer zodiac
unlucky colour for cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac virgo
cancer zodiac vape
cancer zodiac vibes
cancer zodiac videos
cancer zodiac vs scorpio
cancer zodiac vs leo
cancer zodiac venus
cancer zodiac vector
cancer zodiac vs gemini
cancer zodiac vindictive
virgo and cancer zodiac sign
vans cancer zodiac
virgo and cancer zodiac
villains cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac
vintage cancer zodiac charm
venus in cancer zodiac
van cleef zodiac pendant cancer
cancer zodiac in vietnamese
cancer zodiac water sign
cancer zodiac weakness
cancer zodiac woman
cancer zodiac wallpaper
cancer zodiac what month
cancer zodiac water or fire
cancer zodiac worst match
cancer zodiac worst traits
cancer zodiac when mad
cancer zodiac wallpaper aesthetic
what is a cancer zodiac
what month is cancer zodiac sign
what month is cancer zodiac
what color is cancer zodiac
weakness of cancer zodiac
what are the traits of a cancer zodiac sign
what is the meaning of cancer zodiac sign
woman cancer zodiac
what is a cancer zodiac animal
what is good about cancer zodiac sign
cancer x zodiac
zodiac cancer x gemini
astrology cancer x capricorn
cancer zodiac letters
cancer x
cancer x cancer zodiac compatibility
cancer x cancer zodiac
zodiak taurus x cancer
what sign are cancer
x cancer
cancer zodiac year 2024
cancer zodiac yin yang
cancer zodiac year
cancer zodiac yin or yang
cancer zodiac yesterday
cancer zodiac year of dragon
what are cancer zodiac signs
year 2024 for cancer zodiac
yin yang cancer zodiac
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac sign
year of cancer zodiac
youtubers with cancer zodiac
year 2023 for cancer zodiac sign
year of the dragon for cancer zodiac
what year is cancer zodiac sign
what does it mean if you are a cancer zodiac
how to know if your a cancer zodiac sign
cancer astrology zone
cancer zodiac pisces zodiac
why are zodiac cancers so dangerous
cancer about zodiac
cancer zodiac in chinese zodiac
cancer zodiac zodiac
cancer sheep zodiac
zodiac cancer characteristics
zodiac cancer celebrities
zodiac cancer child
zodiac cancer chart
cancer horoscope 0800
cancer zodiac july 07
horoscope cancer 09 juin 2023
are cancers good for cancers
are cancers lucky
cancer sun 0 degrees
cancer 0 degrees
what are cancers sign
why are cancers called cancer
why is cancer called cancer zodiac
what represents cancer zodiac
0 degree cancer astrology
0 degree cancer
0 cancer
cancer zodiac 15 year cycle
cancer zodiac 10 things
cancer zodiac 10
cancer zodiac 18k
cancer zodiac 15th birthday
cancer 101 zodiac
zodiac cancer 16
cancer horoscope 19 march 2024
cancer horoscope 13 december 2023
cancer horoscope 11 march 2024
10 bad things about cancer zodiac
10 things about cancer zodiac male
10 things about cancer zodiac female
100 facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac
10 good things about cancer zodiac
10 interesting facts about cancer zodiac
10 facts about cancer zodiac sign
14k gold cancer zodiac necklace
cancer zodiac 2024
cancer zodiac 2024 prediction
cancer zodiac 2023
cancer zodiac 2025
cancer zodiac 2024 january
cancer zodiac 2024 career
cancer zodiac 2023 predictions
cancer zodiac 2024 in hindi
cancer zodiac 2024 march
cancer zodiac 2023 horoscope
2024 for cancer zodiac
2 types of cancer zodiac
2025 for cancer zodiac
20 facts about cancer zodiac
2026 for cancer zodiac
2023 for cancer zodiac
2023 cancer zodiac predictions
2024 prediction for cancer zodiac
2024 lucky color for cancer zodiac sign
2024 color of the year for cancer zodiac sign
cancer zodiac 3 stages
cancer zodiac 3 types
cancer zodiac 3 signs
cancer 3 zodiac
cancer horoscope 31 january 2024
cancer horoscope 30 march 2024
cancer horoscope 31 july 2023
cancer horoscope 30 march 2023
cancer horoscope 30 august 2023
cancer horoscope 30 november 2023
3 types of cancer zodiac
3 stages of cancer zodiac
3 words to describe cancer zodiac
3 facts about cancer zodiac
3 different types of cancer zodiac
3d cancer zodiac sign
3 fun facts about cancer zodiac
august 31 zodiac sign compatibility with cancer
cancer june 30 zodiac sign
cancer zodiac june 30
cancer horoscope 4 march 2024
cancer horoscope 4 april 2024
cancer horoscope 4 may 2023
cancer horoscope 4 january 2024
cancer horoscope 4 october 2023
cancer horoscope 4 april 2023
cancer horoscope 4 september 2023
cancer horoscope 4th december 2023
cancer horoscope 4 july 2023
cancer horoscope 4 june 2023
4 types of cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac wallpaper 4k
cancer zodiac july 4
zodiac sign of cancer 4 letters
what do cancer zodiac sign mean
cancer zodiac rules
4 cancers
zodiac cancer types
cancer horoscope 5 march 2024
cancer horoscope 5 april 2024
cancer horoscope 5 october 2023
cancer horoscope 5 april 2023
cancer horoscope 5 june 2023
cancer horoscope 5 july 2023
cancer horoscope 5 january 2024
cancer horoscope 5 may 2023
cancer horoscope 5 february 2024
cancer horoscope 5 december 2023
5 facts about cancer zodiac
50 cent is a cancer zodiac
50 cent zodiac sign cancer
cancer 5th house zodiac
cancer zodiac sign july 5
cancer zodiac july 5
june 5 zodiac sign cancer
5 cancers
cancer zodiac 69
cancer zodiac 69 tattoo
cancer zodiac 69 meaning
cancer horoscope 6 march 2024
cancer horoscope 6 july 2023
cancer horoscope 6 april 2023
cancer horoscope 6 december 2023
cancer horoscope 6 october 2023
cancer horoscope 6 june 2023
cancer horoscope 6 september 2023
69 cancer zodiac
meaning of cancer zodiac sign 69
cancer zodiac july 6
what does the 69 mean for cancer
cancer born on july 6
cancer big 6 astrology
69 cancer sign
6 cancer causing foods
cancer horoscope 7 march 2024
cancer horoscope 7 may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 september 2023
cancer horoscope 7 july 2023
cancer horoscope 7 june 2023
cancer horoscope 7th may 2023
cancer horoscope 7 november 2023
cancer horoscope 7 august 2023
cancer horoscope 7 april 2023
cancer horoscope 7 february 2024
cancer zodiac july 7
cancer horoscope 8 march 2024
cancer horoscope 8 january 2024
cancer horoscope 8 may 2023
cancer horoscope 8 september 2023
cancer horoscope 8 june 2023
cancer horoscope 8 april 2023
cancer horoscope 8 august 2023
cancer horoscope 8 december 2023
cancer horoscope 8 november 2023
cancer horoscope 8th march 2024
july 8th cancer zodiac
cancer zodiac july 8
signo zodiacal cancer julio 8
what flower represents cancer zodiac
why cancer is dangerous zodiac
what gifts do cancers like
cancer 8h
cancer horoscope 9 june 2023
cancer horoscope 9 may 2023
cancer horoscope 9 march 2024
cancer horoscope 9 january 2024
cancer horoscope 9 april 2023
cancer horoscope 9 october 2023
cancer horoscope 9 september 2023
cancer horoscope 9 november 2023
cancer horoscope 9 august 2023
cancer horoscope 9th april 2023
9 cancer zodiac sign
july 9 zodiac sign cancer
cancer zodiac july 9
what do cancer look like zodiac
what does cancer hate zodiac
9 cancer symptoms
what cancer zodiac sign
what cancer zodiac sign means

In 2020 during the pandemic, I started to question my sexuality, and during that time I started to notice some feelings I had for some women, for example: being nervous around them, blushing whenever they spoke to me, having fantasies in which they thought I was beautiful and funny, If there was one nearby I would try to do something to make her notice me, in a room with several people I could feel her presence, I couldn't stop looking at them. Is this attraction?? I've felt this all my life around some women, including a teacher when I was 14, i was very nervous around her, when she spoke to me I froze, and when a girl held my hand to dance and I was very nervous because I thought she was pretty, another girl on highschool, and a friend of mine, we where friends for four years and I've had those feeling all those years, and also some women I see on the street.
I'm confused because I feel way more nervous around women I think is pretty, I think of ways of making them notice me and can't stop looking at them, with men I can talk easily to them.
I'm very confused because idk if it could be insecurity, I'm 23 but if you look at me in the street you would think I'm 16 and that doesn't makes me feel good, so idk, how can I know the difference, I've never looked at those women and desired to be them, there's a lot of pretty women that I don't feel this way about, I feel this way for specific women.
When I kissed a man for the first time I felt nothing, I only kissed him because I haven't kissed anyone and I was getting older, and idk if I was ever attracted to him, I've met a lot of nice guys, but I would always ran away when they asked me out, I had a highschool male friend that I thought I liked him, one day we went out alone (not a date) and I felt nervous the entire time ( not good nervous) I was so afraid of someone seeing us and thinking we were dating, one day I went to the cinema with him and another female friend, he was gonna sit next to me and I didn't even think i just said " you really going to separate us" then I sit next to my female friend.
I consider myself as a Attractive person, the only thing that I don't feel good about myself is that I look way younger than I am
Sorry about my English

Im a guy and i just turned 23. And in my time being a 22 year old i have fucked up catastrophically multiple times. It has caused me depression/anxiety issues which I am currently battling right now.
Before i made these bad decisions (which ill get to), i was super charismatic, super funny, and good looking too. A lot of people enjoyed my company and i was really good at making connections.
A year ago, i had a friend group, and i was the new person in it. A couple in that friend group broke up, and then i went and made out with her for like an hour in front of everybody in a club. I also told her that i wasnt friends with her ex, which he obviously was hurt by. The couple ended up getting back together the next day.
As a result, i was kicked out of that friend group. This resulted in months of pain and distress.
Then around 6 months ago, i asked out another girl. This girl was somebody i had met through an old friend, and she dated his brother for 6.5 years, who i also knew from middle school but havent seen in 10 years. I ask my old friend if shes single and he tells me to shoot my shot. Well, i date her for about a month and a half, and we sleep together multiple times.
Now, i am not really friends with her anymore, my relationship with my old friend is more distant, and i fear ive destroyed the relationship with his brother. This sucks because i know his whole family and do want to see them again. I don't know how this is going to affect my relationships with them.
Now im at a point where i am just super critical of my character. I almost feel sick at times when i think about sleeping with that girl. I have a really weird anxiety that comes over me at times. I also barely even feel like pursuing women at this point. I do think i am slowly healing and recovering from this.
I just want to be the person i used to be before these bad decisions.
Lesson: DON’T DATE IN YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE, especially someone’s ex
If anybody has any advice or words of wisdom, please let me know. I am now in the rebuilding phase of my life.

🇨🇦 Hey👋 let's try this out! Currently living in a small town, hence why I say long distance isn't a problem as long as it doesn't stay that way forever! I'm a carpenter, I'm into having fun on the weekends usually fairly tired and a homebody on the weekdays. For fun I like to go skiing, golf, beach, art, gardening, cooking, living healthy and going to the gym(not a gym rat just fit)...usual things, chilling with friends trying new restaurants. I like gaming but not hardcore..nothing online.
I'm just looking to get to know someone, preferably 1 person, not 10. I'm not really looking to make friends. I have plenty, so I'm looking to find someone to date! I'm absolutely 💯 not into competing or sharing. Know what I want in my life. People would say I'm funny, kinda quarky/silly positive, sensitive, loyal, great at communicating, hard working...
I am only interested in femmes/chapstick cis lesbians(mascs you're lovely byt not my type🙂). If your kinda, caring, empathtic, honest, funny, good communicator, like to do cute things for one another (im a total softy) preferably not loud and center of attention type we might just get along 😊 I do have a strong preference towards people who are fit and enjoy exercise and eating healthy. That's non compromisable. it's something I like to have in common with a partner as it's part of my lifestyle. (This is in no way meant to offend anyone, but people are allowed to have their own preferences without being judged on them)
Also, you must be able to prove you are who you say you are, as I can. And I don't want my time wasted, nor do I want to waste yours 🤟
DM me if it sounds like we'd get along 😊
I will instantly block you if you send me sexual messages or anything of the sort. I'm not interested in that with someone I do not know.

I can’t stop smiling and just had to post! After several failed meet & greets that resulted in either a) ppm too low to continue or b) inexperienced SD getting cold feet or trying to turn it vanilla, I finally met someone who I genuinely like.
He’s twice my age, respectful, funny. We went out to dinner for a first date (my usual is coffee or just a drink) and we ended up talking for three hours. He gave me low xxx as a gift for the meeting, and we already have a second date scheduled.
I’m crossing my fingers that when we talk allowance, it’ll be a number acceptable to both of us. I told him I need more even if it’s just platonic for now and he agreed and said he wants to talk specifics in person. He’s definitely not a Wall Street guy but has a successful career, never married, no kids so I’m hoping it works out.

Anyone know who is opening for Coheed on the newly posted headlining dates? I don't see it anywhere and I'm just assuming it'll be one of the openers from the Primus tour.

This might be a long read so brace yourself ...
When I'm asking if I'm being in the wrong here I only mean in terms of accountability and in regards to the situation and not so much about the wrong or right itself and would like some insight/advice basically..
Relationships Background: I met my first ex a few months ago and she gave me a speedrun of everything most couple would usually do after a few months and since I didn't know any better I just went with it since she was my first everything. It ended with her initiating the breakup after less than a month after 2 weeks of long distance after she came to visit me. She gave me the "it's not you, it's me" and "you are the first one to treat me right" (she had multiple partners). She was also a bit insecure and sensitive and needed constant reassurance.
In the case of [HER], all her exes are by products of one night stands which ended up into relationship because they all asked her for one to her surprised and she just agreed with them. She described as liking them but not really ever falling in love with them so I guess I'm the first one to be fall into that category. In [HER] case, she is highly confident about herself and in what she accomplish (makes a lot more money than the average person). She gets self gratification from making money even though she can just live off her parents wealth but she finds having nothing to do boring so she became independent.
With that in mind, here's how this story starts.
On April 3rd, I reinstall Hinge because I want to have some new connection after moving on from my ex. It's not until April 23rd when I match with [HER]. At first I was surprised since I didn't expect it so I express my surprised via text in which she later explained her side via a voice note saying that she thought I looked like one of her students so she was afraid someone would recognize her which is her fear so she never matched with me. (I sent her a total of around 4 likes because I used to delete my account and make a new one again and her acc would always show and she kinda recognize from that as well.)
After that, we just exchange a lot of voice notes talking to each other about stuff and things which later I ask if its okay for me to ask her to go out on a date at this point. She then explains she has some requirements before actually going on a date with someone, she prefers getting someone a little bit more and seeing if we're compatible before meeting since she finds it weird how most people would rush which I agreed.
From there, we talk a bit more via voice note where she asks me what's my definition of love and my concept of relationships which she said almost is the same as hers. She explained for her to fall in love for someone it would at least take her 5 years or so and that's after they're able to past the 4 stages of love described in her own way; honeymoon phase, difference, compromise and initial stage of love.
The next day we just talk some more via text and and voice notes till 2 AM and what not talking about random things and life. At this point, I thought we had some good chemistry or so. We later talk about our exes and stuff.
A few days later I then try and ask again for a date since it felt like we had established some sort of rapport and knew a bit more of each other. She then tells me more about her schedule and how busy she'll be and how she'll be traveling soon in the next 2 weeks for her school stuff. At some point she said she had a symposium she was organizing at the university and I asked if it would be weird If I came to see her.
She said she didn't mind but wouldn't have time to cater me since it would be busy. Please also note that up until this point, I didn't know her real name since in Hinge she's using some random name and I didn't really ask her about it since I guess she didn't want to but I figure me showing up to that event, I would at least find what's her name which I did.
Anyways day comes and I show up to the event, it's is a medium size classroom. I didn't recognize her at first since she had a different haircut. I didn't wanna intrude or anything so I just sat there listening to the event till the end. I didn't really get the chance to talk to her or anything by the end since they had an after party and whatnot so I decided to head home instead feeling somewhat weird? So rather than just heading straight home I just sat there on the subway train listening to music instead. I texted her saying I wished we could have spent a bit of time together but you looked so busy and what not.
After a few minutes later I decide to head out for a walk because I was just feeling weird, I then see a text from her inviting me to help with returning books to the library if I want to which I agreed. To my surprised she showed up with two luggages .. which we just walked around till we reach the library. From there, I got to finally meet her in person and talk to her for a bit. I thought we had a good time, by the end I walked her home and that was mostly. We just kinda waved to her each and say goodbye to each other. I was kinda thirsty that night so I asked her for water but she gave me some korean brand banana juice instead. I then later send her a text thanking her for inviting me to help her which she doesn't reply to.
She's usually only replies if I initiate the conversation first which then let me gaslight myself into thinking it's because she's probably busy .. anyways we text each other for a bit that night because I asked for her number later instead of using Hinge. I then get somewhat down bad and ask if I can see her again tomorrow in which she replies "what's the benefit of seeing you again tomorrow?" which I thought was funny but she was serious. She had to write her REB so I guess she didn't really have time.
It's then the weekend and on the morning of Saturday she invites me to join her to the library and then we can eat at some place later if I want to where she'll be busy working on some stuff. She emphasize that she'll be annoyed if she is disturbed while trying to get work done which I didn't mind since my work is online and I only need a laptop to work.
I showed up at the library a bit early and letting her know, she then tells me she's going to get some coffee nearby first and then meet me so I wait for her at the library. Around 30 min goes by and I start getting a bit worried because she still hasn't showed up and hasn't given me any updates at which point I text her if anything is alright or if she's safe and what not. I get no answers for a bit then later she texts me she's inside where I was on my way to the coffee so I go back inside and then we just sit near each other and focus on our work. I give her the same korean banana juice which I found later at some korean market I went by to buy before meeting her. A few hours goes by we then go to a japanese place by walking there so I get to speak with her for a bit which was nice. I then pay for the bill then walk her home and then again we just wave to each other and say goodbye.
At this point, there has been no physical affection or the sort. Her body language isn't really telling me she's comfortable so I'm not really going for it even though I'm starving for it. I figure she prefers taking things slow so I'll go at her pace. Again, I text her later thanking her for inviting me and spending some time together which I appreciate. She doesn't really reply and giving me back the same energy.
So constantly, I'm always wondering if she's interested in me or enjoy spending time with me. When I ask her about it, it most of the time gets deflected or maybe it's a language barrier and I don't always get what she means when she sends some of her texts if I'm being honest but for some reason I find it cute. it's not like she's playing hard to get but it's confusing to say the least.
Anyways, because of that, I became hesitant to make plans to see her again since she doesn't really people calling her on the phone either unless absolutely necessary she explained to which I joked saying if I'm about to die then I'll call you.
After that second "date". i just try to limit my interaction to texting her a few text daily or so because I just wanted to have some kind of interaction with her. At this point I realized this may or may not be a one-side interest but then I gaslight myself thinking, she's a busy person and still makes some time for me so surely she's interested in some way?.
After a week or so of daily interaction I decide to somewhat stop contact because I also wanted to focus on my stuff and perhaps explore my other dating options if any .. a week goes by and I never hear from her again until one day she just sends me a text that just finished working at some factory as an interpreter and that her phone will be temporarily be disabled because she'll be traveling.
I then expressed my surprised because I figured she had forgotten about me and whatnot. We then exchange a few text here and there, we both caught a cold and talked about how shitty the weather is here and stuff. Again, I'm always the one having to initiate or there won't be any contact .. like at all. So it's hard for me to know if the person is interested even when being asked so I'm left with just overthinking.
Anyways, I ask her more about what time she's leaving and what time and if she wants to spends the last 2 days eating out and spending time together and stuff.
She said she went to some resto the day before but it was busy and had no table because of mother's day. At this point, I looked up the resto because I wanted to make some reservation so we could go there but I stopped myself because I had no idea what kind of situationship this was and if I was putting more effort and not receiving any. So I ended up sleeping instead.
The next day in the morning she texts me she went back to that resto but found out it's only open on certain days for brunch so she was sad and we exchanged a few random texts from that.
then the next day, this is our last conversation this morning before she's away for the next 4 months ..
ME

Will I see you again after 4 months or this is goodbye..? I feel a bit envious of your exes because they all got to be in a relationship with you and meet the girlfriend version of [HER] and all I ever got seems to be the busy version that just sends me off saying bye bye and leaving me confused most of the time with her texts haha 😅

HER

? wtf you don at 6 am plus even boyfriends need to see me off for the summer. I only going for fieldwork, not leaving. don't worry, you will see me when I'm back

ME

I was trying to fix my sleep schedule and I ended up waking up early randomly and then you were in my thoughts idk What do you mean I'll see you after you're back, are you saying you want me to wait for you? 😭 I don't even know what we are, I figured you're too busy to think about that or me as an option so I'm left overthinking.. I would have wanted to see you off but I didn't know where we stand

HER

I thought you gonna visit yesterday since you asked

ME

I wanted to but I didn't know if you wanted me to since it seemed you wanted to go to [restaurant] I was gonna make reservations there but then I realized I might be doing too much because I don't know we're in a relationship or just buddies. Now you leave in one hour and I'm even more confused

HER

Can't you see the problem in your first 'relationship' is that you guys rush everything? In my opinion, you don't know how to form healthy relationships. Take it slow. If you want to see me, make plans. Don't moan afterwards this and that. I can tell you I have always been very busy even with boyfriends. I suggest you set goals and we can celebrate together once you achieve them. I will be back in September. You're welcome to contact me then.

ME

Yes I agree that rushing was the issue in my first but in this case it's more of a mutual interest and communication. From my perspective, it seems like I'm chasing you for some reason because I'm not getting the same energy that I'm sending out. It seems you only respond if I initiate first. I'm always left wondering if you actually want to spend time with me or interested. When I ask you about that, you seem to be deflecting instead of giving me a straight answer or tell me how you feel.. I literally have no idea what you feel most of the time aside from being busy

I can take it slow as a 100 years as long that I know the other person is also interested in building something together in the near future with me. I do want to make plans but it's hard to differentiate if I'm being used for my kindness or for attention when I receive no reassurance when being asked for it? Surely you understand the concept of return on investment.
Or maybe you're right, maybe I'm the problem idk..
HER

well, investment. I would say even my friends invest more on me than you, if you really want to argue that. I also think if we can't make good friends, we won't make good couples. If you rush things, I will retreat because I need my independence more than anything. Make you own choice. Do not talk like a victim.

I didnt really reply anything after that because well not sure how to respond after reading that so I ended up on reddit instead.
NEED OBJECTIVE OPINIONS/ADVICES? I consider myself pretty in tune with myself and my emotions but here I find myself a bit confused and I can't tell if I'm getting clingy or obsessive or too close to the situation to think clearly so I figured I'd make a post and hear some of yall thoughts on this to see if maybe I'm the one who still need to work on myself or maybe we're just not compatible? I guess it would also help me get some closure and not feel so shitty.
p.s if you made it this far, thank you for reading and hopefully you have some insight on my situation since I do not have that much experience when it comes to dating certain girls.
i also passively use twitter and saw this tweet that goes: I’ve noticed I don’t have an issue communicating. My issue is people’s responses . It’s the lack of accountability and the one-sided perceptions that I cannot tolerate.
And I thought that was kinda how I'm feeling right now but not sure ...

This might be a long read so brace yourself ...
When I'm asking if I'm being in the wrong here I only mean in terms of accountability and in regards to the situation and not so much about the wrong or right itself and would like some insight/advice basically..
Relationships Background: I met my first ex a few months ago and she gave me a speedrun of everything most couple would usually do after a few months and since I didn't know any better I just went with it since she was my first everything. It ended with her initiating the breakup after less than a month after 2 weeks of long distance after she came to visit me. She gave me the "it's not you, it's me" and "you are the first one to treat me right" (she had multiple partners). She was also a bit insecure and sensitive and needed constant reassurance.
In the case of [HER], all her exes are by products of one night stands which ended up into relationship because they all asked her for one to her surprised and she just agreed with them. She described as liking them but not really ever falling in love with them so I guess I'm the first one to be fall into that category. In [HER] case, she is highly confident about herself and in what she accomplish (makes a lot more money than the average person). She gets self gratification from making money even though she can just live off her parents wealth but she finds having nothing to do boring so she became independent.
With that in mind, here's how this story starts.
On April 3rd, I reinstall Hinge because I want to have some new connection after moving on from my ex. It's not until April 23rd when I match with [HER]. At first I was surprised since I didn't expect it so I express my surprised via text in which she later explained her side via a voice note saying that she thought I looked like one of her students so she was afraid someone would recognize her which is her fear so she never matched with me. (I sent her a total of around 4 likes because I used to delete my account and make a new one again and her acc would always show and she kinda recognize from that as well.)
After that, we just exchange a lot of voice notes talking to each other about stuff and things which later I ask if its okay for me to ask her to go out on a date at this point. She then explains she has some requirements before actually going on a date with someone, she prefers getting someone a little bit more and seeing if we're compatible before meeting since she finds it weird how most people would rush which I agreed.
From there, we talk a bit more via voice note where she asks me what's my definition of love and my concept of relationships which she said almost is the same as hers. She explained for her to fall in love for someone it would at least take her 5 years or so and that's after they're able to past the 4 stages of love described in her own way; honeymoon phase, difference, compromise and initial stage of love.
The next day we just talk some more via text and and voice notes till 2 AM and what not talking about random things and life. At this point, I thought we had some good chemistry or so. We later talk about our exes and stuff.
A few days later I then try and ask again for a date since it felt like we had established some sort of rapport and knew a bit more of each other. She then tells me more about her schedule and how busy she'll be and how she'll be traveling soon in the next 2 weeks for her school stuff. At some point she said she had a symposium she was organizing at the university and I asked if it would be weird If I came to see her.
She said she didn't mind but wouldn't have time to cater me since it would be busy. Please also note that up until this point, I didn't know her real name since in Hinge she's using some random name and I didn't really ask her about it since I guess she didn't want to but I figure me showing up to that event, I would at least find what's her name which I did.
Anyways day comes and I show up to the event, it's is a medium size classroom. I didn't recognize her at first since she had a different haircut. I didn't wanna intrude or anything so I just sat there listening to the event till the end. I didn't really get the chance to talk to her or anything by the end since they had an after party and whatnot so I decided to head home instead feeling somewhat weird? So rather than just heading straight home I just sat there on the subway train listening to music instead. I texted her saying I wished we could have spent a bit of time together but you looked so busy and what not.
After a few minutes later I decide to head out for a walk because I was just feeling weird, I then see a text from her inviting me to help with returning books to the library if I want to which I agreed. To my surprised she showed up with two luggages .. which we just walked around till we reach the library. From there, I got to finally meet her in person and talk to her for a bit. I thought we had a good time, by the end I walked her home and that was mostly. We just kinda waved to her each and say goodbye to each other. I was kinda thirsty that night so I asked her for water but she gave me some korean brand banana juice instead. I then later send her a text thanking her for inviting me to help her which she doesn't reply to.
She's usually only replies if I initiate the conversation first which then let me gaslight myself into thinking it's because she's probably busy .. anyways we text each other for a bit that night because I asked for her number later instead of using Hinge. I then get somewhat down bad and ask if I can see her again tomorrow in which she replies "what's the benefit of seeing you again tomorrow?" which I thought was funny but she was serious. She had to write her REB so I guess she didn't really have time.
It's then the weekend and on the morning of Saturday she invites me to join her to the library and then we can eat at some place later if I want to where she'll be busy working on some stuff. She emphasize that she'll be annoyed if she is disturbed while trying to get work done which I didn't mind since my work is online and I only need a laptop to work.
I showed up at the library a bit early and letting her know, she then tells me she's going to get some coffee nearby first and then meet me so I wait for her at the library. Around 30 min goes by and I start getting a bit worried because she still hasn't showed up and hasn't given me any updates at which point I text her if anything is alright or if she's safe and what not. I get no answers for a bit then later she texts me she's inside where I was on my way to the coffee so I go back inside and then we just sit near each other and focus on our work. I give her the same korean banana juice which I found later at some korean market I went by to buy before meeting her. A few hours goes by we then go to a japanese place by walking there so I get to speak with her for a bit which was nice. I then pay for the bill then walk her home and then again we just wave to each other and say goodbye.
At this point, there has been no physical affection or the sort. Her body language isn't really telling me she's comfortable so I'm not really going for it even though I'm starving for it. I figure she prefers taking things slow so I'll go at her pace. Again, I text her later thanking her for inviting me and spending some time together which I appreciate. She doesn't really reply and giving me back the same energy.
So constantly, I'm always wondering if she's interested in me or enjoy spending time with me. When I ask her about it, it most of the time gets deflected or maybe it's a language barrier and I don't always get what she means when she sends some of her texts if I'm being honest but for some reason I find it cute. it's not like she's playing hard to get but it's confusing to say the least.
Anyways, because of that, I became hesitant to make plans to see her again since she doesn't really people calling her on the phone either unless absolutely necessary she explained to which I joked saying if I'm about to die then I'll call you.
After that second "date". i just try to limit my interaction to texting her a few text daily or so because I just wanted to have some kind of interaction with her. At this point I realized this may or may not be a one-side interest but then I gaslight myself thinking, she's a busy person and still makes some time for me so surely she's interested in some way?.
After a week or so of daily interaction I decide to somewhat stop contact because I also wanted to focus on my stuff and perhaps explore my other dating options if any .. a week goes by and I never hear from her again until one day she just sends me a text that just finished working at some factory as an interpreter and that her phone will be temporarily be disabled because she'll be traveling.
I then expressed my surprised because I figured she had forgotten about me and whatnot. We then exchange a few text here and there, we both caught a cold and talked about how shitty the weather is here and stuff. Again, I'm always the one having to initiate or there won't be any contact .. like at all. So it's hard for me to know if the person is interested even when being asked so I'm left with just overthinking.
Anyways, I ask her more about what time she's leaving and what time and if she wants to spends the last 2 days eating out and spending time together and stuff.
She said she went to some resto the day before but it was busy and had no table because of mother's day. At this point, I looked up the resto because I wanted to make some reservation so we could go there but I stopped myself because I had no idea what kind of situationship this was and if I was putting more effort and not receiving any. So I ended up sleeping instead.
The next day in the morning she texts me she went back to that resto but found out it's only open on certain days for brunch so she was sad and we exchanged a few random texts from that.
then the next day, this is our last conversation this morning before she's away for the next 4 months ..
ME

Will I see you again after 4 months or this is goodbye..? I feel a bit envious of your exes because they all got to be in a relationship with you and meet the girlfriend version of [HER] and all I ever got seems to be the busy version that just sends me off saying bye bye and leaving me confused most of the time with her texts haha 😅

HER

? wtf you don at 6 am plus even boyfriends need to see me off for the summer. I only going for fieldwork, not leaving. don't worry, you will see me when I'm back

ME

I was trying to fix my sleep schedule and I ended up waking up early randomly and then you were in my thoughts idk What do you mean I'll see you after you're back, are you saying you want me to wait for you? 😭 I don't even know what we are, I figured you're too busy to think about that or me as an option so I'm left overthinking.. I would have wanted to see you off but I didn't know where we stand

HER

I thought you gonna visit yesterday since you asked

ME

I wanted to but I didn't know if you wanted me to since it seemed you wanted to go to [restaurant] I was gonna make reservations there but then I realized I might be doing too much because I don't know we're in a relationship or just buddies. Now you leave in one hour and I'm even more confused

HER

Can't you see the problem in your first 'relationship' is that you guys rush everything? In my opinion, you don't know how to form healthy relationships. Take it slow. If you want to see me, make plans. Don't moan afterwards this and that. I can tell you I have always been very busy even with boyfriends. I suggest you set goals and we can celebrate together once you achieve them. I will be back in September. You're welcome to contact me then.

ME

Yes I agree that rushing was the issue in my first but in this case it's more of a mutual interest and communication. From my perspective, it seems like I'm chasing you for some reason because I'm not getting the same energy that I'm sending out. It seems you only respond if I initiate first. I'm always left wondering if you actually want to spend time with me or interested. When I ask you about that, you seem to be deflecting instead of giving me a straight answer or tell me how you feel.. I literally have no idea what you feel most of the time aside from being busy

I can take it slow as a 100 years as long that I know the other person is also interested in building something together in the near future with me. I do want to make plans but it's hard to differentiate if I'm being used for my kindness or for attention when I receive no reassurance when being asked for it? Surely you understand the concept of return on investment.
Or maybe you're right, maybe I'm the problem idk..
HER

well, investment. I would say even my friends invest more on me than you, if you really want to argue that. I also think if we can't make good friends, we won't make good couples. If you rush things, I will retreat because I need my independence more than anything. Make you own choice. Do not talk like a victim.

I didnt really reply anything after that because well not sure how to respond after reading that so I ended up on reddit instead.
NEED OBJECTIVE OPINIONS/ADVICES? I consider myself pretty in tune with myself and my emotions but here I find myself a bit confused and I can't tell if I'm getting clingy or obsessive or too close to the situation to think clearly so I figured I'd make a post and hear some of yall thoughts on this to see if maybe I'm the one who still need to work on myself or maybe we're just not compatible? I guess it would also help me get some closure and not feel so shitty.
p.s if you made it this far, thank you for reading and hopefully you have some insight on my situation since I do not have that much experience when it comes to dating certain girls.
i also passively use twitter and saw this tweet that goes: I’ve noticed I don’t have an issue communicating. My issue is people’s responses . It’s the lack of accountability and the one-sided perceptions that I cannot tolerate.
And I thought that was kinda how I'm feeling right now but not sure ...

I’ve been dating this dude for about three months and things have been going well so far. We hang out at least once a week and communicate in some form almost daily. He’s really attractive, and he feels the same way about me.
But there’s one thing that’s been on my mind, and it feels stupid being a little annoyed over it, but this guy thinks everything I do is “just so cute!”
Like, if I show a little quirk in the way I talk, (like misspeaking), or my mannerisms, or any little thing I do, he’ll find that very adorable. But he’ll express it in a way that feels a little condescending, like when someone says “bless your heart!”
For example, he occasionally sends me long audio messages. I rarely used that feature before meeting him, but I started to send him some since it’s a break from texting and it’s fun. One time he responded to one of my messages laughing, saying “Oh my gosh, you send your messages like you’re sending a voicemail! LOL that’s so cute!”
Another time, we were hanging out at my place and I wanted some coffee, but since my coffee maker was broken at the time, I resorted to just doing a makeshift pour-over with a funnel and coffee filter. He saw me and said that I just could’ve gone to Dunkin’ or whatever, but doing a pour over was so cute. He had a point, but I wanted to use some specific beans I had already. Nonetheless I felt like a dork.
Recently, we were exchanging audio messages. He told me that he was putting together an office chair but the arm kept moving. I assumed it was because there was a loose screw, so I said “check the screw, is it secure?” I must’ve jumbled my words together (it was also late and I was tired), because he responds laughing really hard and says “did you say to check if the screw’s insecure? You mean loose? That’s such the cutest thing!” I told him what I meant, and he finally understood but I just felt annoyed by the whole thing.
I think a big part of it is that I struggle with self-esteem issues, especially with how I talk. When I was younger, I was made fun of a lot. So I feel annoyed and defensive whenever he points out little quirks, even if he’s not intending to make fun of them.
Other than that, I enjoy spending time with him, and the other aspects of the relationship are good. Again, I feel stupid feeling annoyed over this, because maybe he’s just finds this stuff attractive. I don’t want to be an asshole by being so defensive about it.
Am I just overthinking this?
TL;DR: Guy I’m dating often points out quirks in the way I talk or do things, and finds it funny and cute, but expresses it in an unintentionally condescending way. I get annoyed by this. Am I overthinking this?

Funny headlines for dating

Write Your Own Onion Headlines, Or Don't. Shut Up About It

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

Background:

Last 5 weeks of studying:

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024